November 15, 1996 Dear Personal Donor: In the short while since Goodwill helped him find his job, Robert has learned to thoroughly clean a motel room in about 40 minutes. His job objectives call for him to do it in 30. He has no time to waste. Neither do we. With the help of friends like you, Goodwill has continued to adapt our services to meet the human needs of our changing society. We don't waste time as we are helping the community. And we don't waste money. The gift that I am asking you to make will be used to continue our mission of helping people prepare for, find and keep jobs. In their December, 1995 review of the nation's best charities, U.S. News & World Report called Goodwill one of the five "Standout Good Guys." The magazine stated that Goodwill (as well as the other standouts) is "uniquely effective, innovative or valuable." While I appreciate U.S. News & World Report's endorsement, the true value of your support is measured by the way Goodwill takes on problems that affect all of us. Every time we help someone find a solution to their employment barrier, the positive effects radiate throughout our community: The business community welcomes not only another worker, but a consumer with increased purchasing power. Parents act as role models of self-sufficiency instead of dependency. Tax dollars that would have been spent on public assistance are saved. You and I know that solutions to difficult problems don't just happen. At Goodwill, it is the hard work of staff and those who benefit from our services that produces the kind of inspiring results I see every day: A Goodwill staff member addresses a group of welfare recipients: "You can earn the money to support yourself and your family," she says. "You can get off welfare. I know you can... I did." A participant in a Goodwill program rushes back from a job interview to share the results with his classmates in our desktop publishing training program. once his tears have subsided, he confirms what his classmates have already figured out: he just received a job offer -- his first in five years. Addressing a meeting at a neighborhood center, a Goodwill staff member tells the audience how Goodwill can help them find and keep jobs. On his way home, he shares the story with four people at a street corner. At the next corner he tells five more. In order to develop job skills, a man with some serious disabilities begins working in Goodwill's industrial division. It takes a long time for him to gain the self-confidence to work elsewhere in the community. Eventually, he turns your support into a payoff for all of us. He proudly leaves Goodwill to support himself. These people and their successes are real. Just like the respect we've earned from U.S. News & World Report. Just like the impact Goodwill's work has on our community. Real work. Real results. A real difference in people's lives -- in all of our lives. The people who can benefit most directly from your generosity have no time to waste. Neither do the rest of us who feel the positive results of their success. Your support helps provide real solutions. Please use the enclosed response card and envelope to give generously to Goodwill today. Sincerely, Jack Dustman Board Member and Former Chairman Dear Friend: Thank you for requesting material from the American Association of Kidney Patients. We hope you find the enclosed material beneficial. I'd like to take this opportunity to invite you to become a member of AAKP. Members receive a membership package that includes all of our educational material, a subscription to aakp RENALlFE, membership in a local chapter if applicable and assurance that your voice is heard in Washington, DC. I have enclosed a membership application for your use or you can call us at (800) 749-2257 to join today. I hope you join our family of patients, loved ones and professionals. Your membership will keep you up to date on the newest advances in end-stage renal disease. I look forward to seeing your name on our membership list. Sincerely, Kris Robinson Executive Director Background Myosin-1c (Myo1c), the myosin previously called myosin-I, myr 2, or MI-110K [ 1 ] , is an unconventional myosin isozyme implicated in nuclear transcription [ 2 ] , lamellopodia dynamics of motile cells [ 3 4 ] , brush-border dynamics of proximal-tubule cells of the kidney [ 5 6 ] , and adaptation of mechanoelectrical transduction in hair cells, the sensory cells of the inner ear [ 7 ] . Myo1c belongs to the myosin-I class, which contains eight members in humans [ 8 ] and mice [ 9 ] ; the bullfrog genome possesses at least two members [ 10 ] . Members of the myosin-I class have a single globular motor domain, followed by a neck region and a relatively short (30-40 kD) tail domain (Fig. 1A). This latter domain is highly basic and binds to acidic phospholipids [ 11 ] . Like all biochemically characterized unconventional myosins, Myo1c binds calmodulin light chains in its neck region [ 12 ] ; this region also interacts with non-calmodulin receptors in hair cells [ 13 ] . Unconventional myosins contain from one to several IQ domains, which are calmodulin-binding motifs that adhere to the general consensus sequence IQX 3 RGX 3 R [ 14 ] . Calmodulin, which can bind up to four Ca 2+ions, generally binds IQ domains in the Ca 2+-free conformation; interaction of Ca 2+-bound calmodulin to other proteins occurs through alternative binding motifs [ 14 ] . Myo1c contains three readily recognized IQ motifs of 23 amino acids each (Fig. 1C; refs. [ 10 15 16 17 18 ] ). Purified Myo1c apparently includes 2-3 calmodulins per Myo1c heavy chain [ 19 20 21 ] ; calmodulin supplementation can increase the stoichiometry to as many as 4 calmodulins per Myo1c [ 21 ] . Unfortunately, the lack of appropriate quantitation standards for the Myo1c heavy chain in those experiments limits the reliability of these values. How Ca 2+and calmodulin regulate Myo1c or indeed any myosin-I is unclear. Although Ca 2+increases ATPase activity of most myosin-I isozymes, in vitro motility is usually blocked under identical conditions [ 11 ] . Ca 2+dissociates one or more calmodulins from the myosin-calmodulin complex, which apparently elevates ATPase activity and inhibits motility [ 11 ] . In conventional myosin, light chains related to calmodulin appear to be essential for stabilization of the myosin lever arm [ 22 ] , a domain that is vital for efficient conversion of chemical energy into mechanical work [ 23 ] . Calmodulin probably plays a similar lever-arm stabilizing role for Myo1c; Ca 2+-induced calmodulin release would reverse the stabilization and inhibit motility. To better understand the regulation of Myo1c activity by calmodulin, we sought to more accurately determine how calmodulin binds to Myo1c by measuring the Ca 2+-dependence of calmodulin binding to individual Myo1c IQ peptides. In addition, to examine the consequences of calmodulin binding to adjacent IQ domains, we measured hydrodynamic properties of recombinant Myo1c-calmodulin complexes, under differing conditions of Ca 2+, calmodulin, and temperature. These measurements allowed us to determine the molecular mass and hence stoichiometry of the Myo1c complex. Our results indicate that IQ1, IQ2, and IQ3 have calmodulin bound when the concentration of Ca 2+is low, and that increased Ca 2+induces release of calmodulin from IQ1 and IQ2. Results Sequence analysis of IQ domains Examination of the primary sequence of the bullfrog Myo1c neck region reveals an exact repeat of five amino acids located both in the IQ3 region (YRNQP; residues 761-765) and at residues 786-790. Alignment of the residues surrounding the repeat revealed reasonable homology with the three known IQ domains, with particular similarity to IQ3, suggesting that this region may be a fourth IQ domain (Fig. 1C). Although the pair of amino acids (LM; residues 782 and 783) that align with the RG of the IQ consensus motif are not conserved, the first pair of amino acids (IR; residues 777 and 778) that align with the consensus IQ adhere to the consensus better than those of IQ3. Because of the sequence similarity to IQ3 and because this peptide binds calmodulin (albeit weakly; see below), we refer to this domain as IQ4. IQ - Alexa-calmodulin interaction on plastic plates To investigate the calmodulin-binding properties of each Myo1c IQ domain, we measured interaction of a fluorescently labeled calmodulin (Alexa-calmodulin) with individual Myo1c IQ peptides that had been conjugated to wells of a plastic plate. We used an IQ peptide from neuromodulin [ 24 ] as a positive control; calmodulin binds to this site, with its interaction reduced by high ionic strength [ 24 25 ] . As a negative control, we used a peptide (PVP), corresponding to the 25 amino acids of Myo1c immediately following IQ4. Indeed, Alexa-calmodulin bound to wells derivatized with the neuromodulin IQ peptide and did not bind to the PVP peptide (Fig. 2A). Substantial amounts of Alexa-calmodulin bound to wells derivatized with IQ1, IQ2, and IQ3; by contrast, relatively little bound to IQ4-coated wells under these conditions (Fig. 2A). As has been noted for the neuromodulin IQ domain [ 25 ] , increasing the KCl concentration reduced binding to each IQ peptide. Although the data shown in Fig. 2Awere obtained at room temperature, we saw a similar rank order of binding - albeit with lower total Alexa-calmodulin bound - at 4C (data not shown). To confirm the approximate binding strength reported by this assay, we used free IQ peptides to prevent Alexa-calmodulin binding to an IQ3-derivatized plate. Because the IQ peptides strongly quenched Alexa-calmodulin fluorescence when bound, we corrected fluorescence measurements using an identical assay in an underivatized plate. Although this quenching correction introduced substantial scatter into the data, we found that the apparent affinities for binding of peptides to Alexa-calmodulin followed the order IQ3 > IQ1 IQ2 > IQ4 (Fig. 2B). IQ - calmodulin interaction by quenching of Alexa-calmodulin fluorescence As noted above, Alexa-calmodulin fluorescence was quenched upon binding to an IQ peptide (Fig. 3A). Because an excess of unlabeled calmodulin was able to reverse 70-95% of the quench (Fig. 3A), we inferred that most Alexa-calmodulin bound to the same site as unlabeled calmodulin. We used this fluorescence-intensity quench empirically to measure the affinity of each IQ peptide for Alexa-calmodulin (Fig. 3B). In some experiments, Ca 2+was held at <30 nM by chelation with 100 M EGTA; in other experiments, we added 25 M exogenous CaCl 2 in the absence of EGTA. These two concentrations mimic the low- and high-Ca 2+conditions that Myo1c may encounter in hair cells when the transduction channel is closed or open [ 26 ] . In the presence of 100 M EGTA, K d values followed the order IQ3 < IQ1 IQ2 << IQ4. Although the data were fit somewhat better with a modified Hill equation that with a standard bimolecular-binding isotherm (Fig. 3B), the physiological significance of Hill coefficients >1 is uncertain, particularly given the 1:1 peptide:calmodulin stoichiometry (see below). Ca 2+had only modest effects on the affinity of the Myo1c IQ peptides for Alexa-calmodulin (Table 1). Despite only minor effects on binding affinity, Ca 2+did influence the calmodulin-peptide complex, as signaled by changes in Alexa-calmodulin fluorescence. Changes in fluorescence intensity during manipulation of a single parameter, like Ca 2+concentration, should report conformational changes in Alexa-calmodulin. For example, the fluorescence intensity of free Alexa-calmodulin in solution was ~15% lower in 25 M CaCl 2 than in 100 M EGTA (left-hand limits in Fig. 4). Because the dye moiety itself is not Ca 2+sensitive [ 27 ] , the Ca 2+-dependent fluorescent change reflects changes in the dye's surrounding environment, probably signaling the compact-to-open structural change seen when Ca 2+binds to calmodulin [ 28 ] . In contrast to the reduction of free Alexa-calmodulin fluorescence by Ca 2+, fluorescence of Alexa-calmodulin when saturated by IQ peptides was 1.5- to 2-fold greater in 25 M CaCl 2 than in 100 M EGTA (Fig. 4; Table 1). Thus, when Alexa-calmodulin was bound to IQ peptides, Ca 2+induced a conformational change that was substantially different from that seen in the peptide-free state. IQ - calmodulin interaction under stoichiometric-titration conditions To determine the affinities of the Myo1c IQ peptides for unlabeled calmodulin, we used Alexa-calmodulin as a reporter (Alexa-calmodulin : unlabeled calmodulin ratio of 1:100) in our binding studies. This approach assumes that Alexa-calmodulin is functionally equivalent to unlabeled calmodulin. We determined affinities by fitting the IQ-peptide concentration vs. fluorescence quench data with an appropriate model. If the IQ peptides bound only Alexa-calmodulin and not unlabeled calmodulin, the K d and F IQ /F values of Table 1would have described the fit to the concentration-quench plots. The line derived from these values did not fit the data (Fig. 5), indicating that, as expected, unlabeled calmodulin binds to the Myo1c IQ peptides. These experimental conditions resembled a stoichiometric titration, where the total concentration of calmodulin was higher than the K d values for IQ1, IQ2, and IQ3. Under true stoichiometric-titration conditions (fixed concentration of receptor at 100-fold or more than the K d , varying the ligand concentration up to and beyond the receptor concentration), almost all of the added IQ peptide would bind tightly to calmodulin and linearly decrease the fluorescence; at the point where the IQ-peptide concentration exceeds the calmodulin concentration multiplied by the peptide:calmodulin stoichiometry ( m ), a plateau in the fluorescence intensity would be reached. Because the relatively weak affinities observed here make such true stoichiometric titration impractical, we used an intermediate concentration of calmodulin (50 M, ~10-fold larger than K d ) and used equation (7) to describe the equilibrium precisely. This approach allowed us to determine both m and K d in the same experiment. In the presence of EGTA, the IQ1, IQ2, and IQ3 binding data were much better fit by m = 1 than they were to m = 2, indicating that the binding stoichiometry of peptide to calmodulin was 1:1 (Fig. 5). The K d values determined with equation (7) were very similar to those determined for binding to Alexa-calmodulin alone (Tables 1and 2), confirming that under these conditions, the IQ peptides bind to unlabeled calmodulin and Alexa-calmodulin similarly. In the presence of Ca 2+, IQ3 also bound to calmodulin with a stoichiometry of 1:1 (Fig. 5). The fits to m = 1 and 2 were equally good for IQ1 and IQ2 in the presence of Ca 2+, signifying the inability for this analysis to determine precise binding stoichiometry of IQ1 and IQ2 under these conditions. In addition, these data indicate that the apparent affinities of IQ1 and IQ2 for unlabeled calmodulin were substantially weakened by Ca 2+(Table 2), unlike results with Alexa-calmodulin alone (Table 1). Because the assumption that affinities of Alexa-calmodulin and unlabeled calmodulin for IQ peptides are identical was violated for IQ1 and IQ2, the actual affinities of these IQ peptides for unlabeled calmodulin may be even weaker than those reported in Table 2. By contrast, Ca 2+had only a very modest effect on IQ3 affinity for unlabeled calmodulin. Binding of IQ4 to unlabeled calmodulin was distinct from that of the other IQ peptides. The data with IQ4 were best fit with a Hill equation (equation 4), with a Hill coefficient of greater than 2 (Fig. 5, thick solid lines), suggesting that binding of two peptides per calmodulin may be required for the fluorescence change. The apparent affinities (~100 M) were similar to the concentration of calmodulin (50 M), however, indicating that the apparent affinities did not accurately reflect K d values. These results with a mixture of unlabeled and Alexa-calmodulin were different from those with Alexa-calmodulin alone, where IQ4 Hill coefficients were close to 1 (data not shown). Nevertheless, these data show that unlabeled calmodulin can bind to IQ4, albeit with weak affinity and uncertain stoichiometry. Hydrodynamic analysis of full-length Myo1c To determine the stoichiometry and Ca 2+-dependent regulation of calmodulin binding to Myo1c with all four IQ motifs, we co-expressed calmodulin and full-length bullfrog Myo1c in insect cells using baculoviruses and subjected the purified Myo1c-calmodulin complexes (Fig. 1B) to hydrodynamic analysis (Table 3). We carried out velocity sedimentation of Myo1c-calmodulin complexes on 5-20% sucrose gradients to determine sedimentation coefficients. We measured the Stokes radius of Myo1c-calmodulin complexes using gel filtration on Superdex 200 under temperature and buffer conditions identical to those of the velocity-sedimentation experiments (Table 3). Although most experiments used 400 mM KCl (which prevented adsorption to the gel-filtration matrix), we obtained identical sedimentation coefficients in the presence of 150 or 250 mM KCl (not shown). Velocity-sedimentation and gel-filtration experiments were carried out at 4C, the temperature used for Myo1c purification, as well as at 25C, a physiologically relevant temperature for a bullfrog. To calculate the molecular mass of Myo1c-calmodulin complexes, we applied the modified Svedberg equation, which relates mass to the diffusion constant (calculated here from Stokes radius) and the sedimentation coefficient [ 29 ] . The partial specific volume of each protein complex was determined using the amino-acid composition of the constituent proteins (Table 3; ref. [ 30 ] ). Although the uncertainty in calmodulin stoichiometry leads to ambiguity in this calculation, the calculated partial specific volumes were so close ( e.g. , 0.734 for one and 0.731 for three calmodulins per Myo1c complex) that the precise value did not significantly affect the final molecular-mass value. Full-length Myo1c bound ~3 calmodulins per Myo1c at 4C in the presence of EGTA or CaCl 2 (Table 3). One of the bound calmodulins was only weakly associated, as elevation of the temperature to 25C induced the release of 1 mole of calmodulin in the presence of EGTA. When Ca 2+was elevated to 25 M at 25C, however, we could not detect substantial full-length Myo1c in solution after sucrose-gradient centrifugation or gel filtration, suggesting that the protein had aggregated. Hydrodynamic analysis of T701-Myo1c Because the size of full-length Myo1c (125 kD, including purification and detection tags) is much larger than calmodulin (16.7 kD), we improved our ability to determine stoichiometry from molecular mass by examining a smaller (45 kD) neck-tail recombinant fragment of Myo1c. This construct, T701-Myo1c, contained amino acids 701-1028 of bullfrog Myo1c, including all four IQ domains, the entire C-terminal tail, and N-terminal purification and epitope tags (Fig. 1A,1B). T701-Myo1c bound 2.5 moles of calmodulin per mole of heavy chain at 4C in the presence of 100 M EGTA (Fig. 6; Table 4). As with full-length Myo1c, elevation of the analysis temperature to 25C induced the release of ~0.7 mole of calmodulin. In contrast to the results seen with full-length Myo1c, elevation of the CaCl 2 concentration to 25 M at 4C also induced the release of ~0.7 mole of calmodulin. The amount of T701-calmodulin complex recovered on sucrose gradients or by gel filtration decreased substantially when the CaCl 2 concentration was elevated to 25 M at 25C, signaling the formation of aggregates, as seen with the full-length complex. Furthermore, the calculated calmodulin stoichiometry of the observed T701-calmodulin complex under these conditions was only ~0.3 mole of calmodulin per mole of Myo1c, reinforcing the suggestion that Ca 2+induced the dissociation of most calmodulins at 25C and that this loss of light chains resulted in aggregation. We could not prevent the release of calmodulin at 25C by saturating T701-Myo1c with excess calmodulin immediately prior to centrifugation (preloading). In EGTA, the sedimentation coefficient of calmodulin-preloaded T701-Myo1c measured at 25C (3.85 0.07 S; n = 2) was nearly identical to that measured without preloading (3.83 S; Table 4). Likewise, the sedimentation coefficient of calmodulin-preloaded T701-Myo1c measured at 25C and in 25 M CaCl 2 (2.80 0.42 S; n = 2) was similar to that measured without preloading (3.13 S; Table 4). By contrast, we could prevent the temperature-dependent loss of calmodulin by carrying out sedimentation in the continuous presence of 5 M calmodulin (Fig. 6C,6D; Table 5). Although gel-filtration analysis was impractical with this high calmodulin concentration, we assumed that the Stokes radius of T701-Myo1c in the presence of calmodulin was identical to the value obtained in the absence. Sedimentation at 25C in EGTA gradients supplemented with 5 M calmodulin resulted in the retention of ~3 calmodulins per T701-Myo1c. In 25 M CaCl 2 , supplementation with 5 M calmodulin resulted in ~1 calmodulin bound per T701-Myo1c. In addition, protein loss due to aggregation was minimal under these conditions. Myo1c-calmodulin stoichiometry by gel scanning To measure Myo1c-calmodulin stoichiometry by an independent method, we separated calmodulin standards and T701-Myo1c by SDS-PAGE (Fig. 7A). Using densitometry, we quantified the staining intensity of the calmodulin standards to generate a standard curve (Fig. 7B) and determined the amount of calmodulin present in each T701-Myo1c sample. Applying the analysis described in Experimental Procedures and equation (13), we found an average of 2.6 0.2 calmodulins per T701-Myo1c (mean standard error) in six experiments, three separate preparations analyzed in duplicate. This value was very close to the value of 2.5 0.1 bound calmodulins determined independently by hydrodynamic analysis (Table 4). Discussion Calmodulin interaction with individual Myo1c IQ domains To examine how calmodulin binds to the Myo1c IQ sites, we developed two binding assays using a commercially available fluorescent calmodulin and individual IQ peptides. In one assay, we covalently attached peptides to plastic plates, then measured the amount of fluorescent calmodulin that remained unbound after incubation with the peptide-derivatized plate. This assay was simple and fast, and allowed us to measure binding under a wide variety of conditions. In our second assay, we exploited the empirical observation that the Alexa-calmodulin fluorescence intensity is quenched by binding of IQ peptides. As in other assays with fluorescently labeled calmodulins (e.g., ref. [ 31 ] ), binding of the peptides to Alexa-calmodulin did not perfectly mimic binding to unlabeled calmodulin. For example, Alexa-calmodulin bound IQ peptides more strongly in the presence of Ca 2+than did unlabeled calmodulin. Moreover, excess unlabeled calmodulin could not fully reverse the quenching of Alexa-calmodulin fluorescence induced by IQ peptides, suggesting that IQ peptides could bind to Alexa-calmodulin at two sites, including one where unlabeled calmodulin could not bind. Indeed, binding of IQ peptides to both sites on a single fluorescent calmodulin could account for Hill coefficients of >1 seen in some experiments (e.g., Figs. 3Band 4). Nevertheless, these discrepancies should not prevent use of Alexa-calmodulin for measuring interaction with calmodulin's targets, particularly if the interaction with unlabeled calmodulin is compared to the interaction with Alexa-calmodulin. Calmodulin bound to peptides corresponding to each of the four Myo1c IQ domains, although with differing affinity and Ca 2+sensitivity. Affinities for calmodulin binding to IQ1 and IQ2 were relatively modest (K d values of ~5 M). As with other IQ domains [ 14 ] , Ca 2+weakened the affinity of calmodulin for IQ1 and IQ2 by more than 10-fold. By contrast, calmodulin binding to IQ3 was slightly stronger and was affected much less by Ca 2+. Because calmodulin binds strongly to classic IQ domains only in the absence of Ca 2+ [ 14 32 ] , its strong binding to IQ3 in the presence of Ca 2+suggests the participation of an additional Ca 2+-requiring binding motif. Two common calmodulin-binding motifs, called 1-8-14 and 1-5-10 for the pattern of hydrophobic amino-acid residues, require Ca 2+for calmodulin binding [ 14 ] . IQ3 has two nearly perfect 1-5-10 domains that are at +2 net charge instead of the minimum +3 in the consensus [ 14 ] . In addition, IQ3 has a 1-8-14 motif with a proline residue at position 14 instead of phenylalanine, isoleucine, leucine, valine, or tryptophan. Because most proteins that bind calmodulin through the 1-8-14 and 1-5-10 motifs do so strongly, the relatively modest affinity of IQ3 for calmodulin in the presence of Ca 2+suggests that calmodulin binds through one of these imperfect motifs located within this IQ domain. To interact with an alternate set of residues, Ca 2+-calmodulin must adopt a new conformation. A similar Ca 2+-dependent rearrangement was predicted for the complex of calmodulin and the first IQ domain of myosin-1a (brush-border myosin I) [ 32 ] . In support of this view, we observed evidence for Ca 2+-dependent conformational changes in calmodulin while bound to IQ peptides. When Alexa-calmodulin was bound to Myo1c IQ peptides, its fluorescence was higher in the presence of Ca 2+than in its absence, suggesting that that Ca 2+-bound Alexa-calmodulin binds to the IQ peptides in a different conformation than does Ca 2+-free Alexa-calmodulin. For example, in the absence of Ca 2+, Alexa-calmodulin may bind to IQ peptides in a more compact conformation, quenching fluorescence by burying dye moieties in a less polar environment. Although the Ca 2+-induced conformational change could be a property of Alexa-calmodulin rather than calmodulin itself, the Ca 2+-dependent changes in affinity of calmodulin for IQ1 and IQ2 (Table 2) and calmodulin's likely shift to a new binding site on IQ3 suggests that the conformational change is probably also a property of authentic calmodulin. Calmodulin also bound to a newly identified domain, IQ4. Because the affinity of calmodulin for IQ4 is very weak, calmodulin should only occupy IQ4 in subcellular locations with a low Ca 2+concentration and a high level of free calmodulin. For example, a small population of Myo1c molecules with calmodulin bound to IQ4 should be present in the stereocilia of inner-ear hair cells, which contain ~35 M free calmodulin [ 33 ] . Although most tissues contain less free calmodulin [ 34 ] , concentrations in other individual organelles can reach the millimolar range [ 35 ] . On the other hand, the weak affinity of this IQ domain for calmodulin suggests that IQ4 may play another role, such as interacting with another protein. Calmodulin interaction with Myo1c The binding affinities of calmodulin for the individual IQ peptides do not reflect exactly the affinities of calmodulin for the IQ domains within Myo1c. For example, despite micromolar K d values for calmodulin-IQ peptide interactions, calmodulin remains bound to Myo1c during long gel-filtration or centrifugation experiments, even at nanomolar Myo1c concentrations (Fig. 6). This result suggests that calmodulin binds to some of Myo1c's four tandem IQ domains substantially more strongly than to the individual peptides. For example, other regions of Myo1c could constrain the IQ domains in conformations that are substantially more (or less) favorable for calmodulin binding than the population of conformations adopted by a soluble IQ peptide. Moreover, calmodulin binding to Myo1c could be influenced by interactions with adjacent calmodulin molecules or to the Myo1c head or tail domains. To examine calmodulin binding to IQ domains in Myo1c, we determined the molecular mass (and hence calmodulin:Myo1c stoichiometry) and shape of Myo1c under the appropriate conditions of temperature and Ca 2+. Although analytical ultracentrifugation is more commonly used to measure molecular size of protein-protein complexes [ 36 ] , we instead used classic hydrodynamic methods of velocity sedimentation on sucrose gradients to obtain sedimentation coefficients and gel filtration to obtain Stokes' radius. One advantage of this approach was that by detecting Myo1c using a sensitive ELISA method, we were able to use very low concentrations of Myo1c. Furthermore, we were able to carry out sedimentation in the presence of a high concentration of calmodulin, a manipulation that prevents Myo1c detection in a standard analytical ultracentrifugation experiment. A disadvantage of this approach was the need for high concentrations of sucrose, which in rare conditions can substantially affect the hydrodynamic properties of a protein [ 37 ] ; nevertheless, changes in Myo1c size were observed both in velocity sedimentation (in the presence of sucrose) and in gel filtration (in its absence). Another disadvantage of our classic approach to molecular-mass determination was that the gel filtration and velocity sedimentations were done on different time scales (~1 hour vs. 15-18 hours). If calmodulin slowly dissociated during the analysis (which in both assays diluted Myo1c well below 1 M), the degree of dissociation would be larger in the velocity sedimentation experiments than in the gel filtration experiments. Nevertheless, our approach was validated by the demonstration that the number of calmodulins per T701-Myo1c was identical in hydrodynamic and gel-scanning experiments, at least in EGTA at 4C. Because T701-Myo1c mimicked properties of the full-length protein (except under low-temperature, high-Ca 2+conditions), we exploited the neck-tail construct for a more detailed analysis of calmodulin binding. As expected from the large Ca 2+-dependent weakening of calmodulin affinity for IQ1 and IQ2 (Fig. 5; Table 2), Ca 2+decreased the number of calmodulins bound to T701-Myo1c at high ionic strength. When Ca 2+was low at 25C, each T701-Myo1c had about two bound calmodulins, with a third bound if the calmodulin concentration reached 5 M. At this calmodulin concentration, IQ domains 1, 2, and 3 are likely occupied by calmodulin. When Ca 2+is high at 25C, all but one calmodulin dissociated from T701-Myo1c in the presence of 5 M free calmodulin. The strong affinity of IQ3 for Ca 2+-calmodulin suggests that the remaining calmodulin was bound to this IQ domain. How many calmodulins are bound to Myo1c in the cell at increased Ca 2+concentrations? The elevated ionic strength used for the hydrodynamic analysis probably weakened the affinity of the calmodulin for IQ3 (Fig. 2A), requiring 5 M free calmodulin to maintain occupancy of that site. We therefore infer that at a physiologically significant temperature and at a cellular ionic strength, Ca 2+triggers release of calmodulins from IQ1 and IQ2 from T701-Myo1c, leaving only IQ3 occupied. Although these results contrast with those reported for mammalian Myo1c, where only one of three calmodulins is released by Ca 2+ [ 19 38 ] , our T701 construct lacks Myo1c's motor domain. It is entirely plausible that even in the presence of Ca 2+, calmodulin remains bound to IQ1, albeit in a different conformation and dependent on interactions with the myosin head. Our results therefore suggest that Ca 2+either induces the release of calmodulin from IQ1 or causes it to change its interaction with Myo1c substantially. Of the three calmodulins bound to Myo1c, one of these binds relatively weakly at 25C, even in EGTA. To which IQ domain does this weakly bound light chain bind? Although calmodulin binds to IQs 1-3 with approximately the same strength in the presence of EGTA, we suggest that the readily released calmodulin is likely to be that bound to IQ2. To bind three calmodulins, IQs 1-3, each of which are only 23 amino acids long, must be arranged without kinks [ 32 ] ; this arrangement may produce unfavorable strain on each of the calmodulin molecules. Release of calmodulin from IQ2 would relieve all of that strain; release from IQs 1 or 3 would not. Strain relief also may accelerate calmodulin release in the presence of Ca 2+; because Ca 2+apparently rearranges the three-dimensional interaction of calmodulin with IQ3, binding of an adjacent calmodulin - on IQ2 - might be destabilized even more [ 32 ] . Despite the loss of calmodulin from T701-Myo1c induced by elevation of the temperature from 4C to 25C, the frictional ratio (a measure of the protein's asymmetry) increased (Table 4). The neck-tail region of Myo1c thus appears to adopt a compact structure at 4C, becoming more extended at 25C. Less calmodulin may be released at lower temperatures because the Myo1c tail may bind to and stabilize calmodulin's interaction with the Myo1c neck. Implications for Myo1c activity The Ca 2+-dependent change in interaction of calmodulin with IQ1, the IQ domain closest to the motor domain, has important implications for Myo1c mechanochemical function. Although Ca 2+increases Myo1c ATPase activity, the ion completely halts in vitro motility [ 19 ] . Ca 2+-dependent changes in conformation may prevent amplification of a small converter-domain movement into a large motor step. In the presence of an external force, as is seen by Myo1c during an excitatory mechanical stimulus in a hair cell [ 39 ] , Ca 2+(which enters the cell through open transduction channels), should permit Myo1c to go through its ATPase cycle, binding and unbinding from actin, but the altered interaction of calmodulin and IQ1 may prevent force production by the motor. We predict that Ca 2+will decrease the stiffness of a Myo1c-actin interaction, preventing coupling of the energy released by ATP hydrolysis to the swing of the neck [ 40 ] . This behavior will assist Myo1c in its role of adaptation in hair cells, where the motor reduces force applied to the hair cell's transduction channel. A limitation of our experiments is the restriction of Myo1c binding to a single type of light chain, calmodulin. Other light chains can interact with IQ domains, including essential light chain isoforms [ 41 ] and calmodulin-like protein [ 42 ] . Although purified bovine adrenal Myo1c does not appear to have alternative associated light chains [ 12 ] , we can not rule out the possibility that other light chains bind in a cellular context. Nevertheless, purified recombinant full-length Myo1c associated with calmodulin light chains exhibited actin-activated ATPase activity and motility in vitro [ 43 ] , indicating that calmodulin can function as a Myo1c light chain. That Myo1c does not bind calmodulin tightly is, at first glance, surprising. Weak calmodulin binding may, however, permit access of IQ domains to intracellular Myo1c receptors. Accordingly, we have found that a Myo1c fragment containing only IQs 1-3, partially complexed with calmodulin, binds avidly to hair-cell receptors; excess calmodulin blocks this interaction, probably by binding to an unoccupied IQ site on the Myo1c fragment [ 13 ] . IQ2 is highly conserved between species, leading us to propose that hair-cell receptors interact through this region [ 13 ] . Because Myo1c-interacting proteins in hair cells and elsewhere may interact through IQ domains, regulation of calmodulin binding to Myo1c - for example, by Ca 2+- likely affects coupling of the motor protein to its cargo. Conclusions Under low Ca 2+conditions and normal ionic strength, calmodulin binds moderately tightly to three Myo1c IQ domains, IQ1, IQ2, and IQ3. IQ4 will only be occupied when the calmodulin concentration is very high. When linearly arranged in the Myo1c molecule, at least one calmodulin (most likely that bound to IQ2) is bound less tightly, probably due to steric constraints. Upon binding Ca 2+, calmodulin bound to IQ2 dissociates; that bound to IQ1 either dissociates or changes its conformation sufficiently that chemomechanical coupling cannot ensue. Methods Peptide - calmodulin interaction on plates Bullfrog Myo1c IQ peptides were synthesized (Genemed Synthesis, South San Francisco, CA) with N-terminal cysteine residues: IQ1 (residues 698-720), CRKHSIATFLQARWRGYHQRQKFL; IQ2 (721-743), CHMKHSAVEIQSWWRGTIGRRKAA; IQ3 (744-766), CKRKWAVDVVRRFIKGFIYRNQPR; and IQ4 (767-791; native cysteine at residue 767), CTENEYFLDYIRYSFLMTLYRNQPK. Peptide concentrations were measured by determining optical density at 280 nm, using calculated molar extinction coefficients of 7090 (IQ1), 11500 (IQ2), 7090 (IQ3), and 5240 M -1cm -1(IQ4). We also synthesized a negative-control peptide ("PVP") corresponding to amino acids 792-816 of frog Myo1c (SVLDKSWPVPPPSLREASELLREMC; native C816) and a positive control IQ-peptide ("NM") corresponding to amino acids 29-52 of bovine neuromodulin with an added C-terminal cysteine (KAHKAATKIQASFRGHITRKKLKC) [ 24 ] . For measuring interaction of calmodulin with peptides conjugated to plastic plates, we incubated 10 M peptide in phosphate-buffered saline (PBS; 137 mM NaCl, 2.7 mM KCl, 4.3 mM Na 2 HPO 4 , 1.4 mM KH 2 PO 4 , pH 7.4) overnight at room temperature in a maleimide-derivatized 96-well plate (Pierce, Rockford, IL). Peptide was present in large excess over free binding sites (25-50 pmol) on the plates. To remove unconjugated peptides, plates were washed with PBS; unreacted sites were saturated by incubating with 10 g/ml cysteine for 1 hour. We then incubated the peptide-conjugated plates with 50 nM Alexa Fluor 488 calmodulin (Alexa-calmodulin; Molecular Probes, Eugene, OR) in 100 l of a solution that contained 150 or 400 mM KCl, 1 mM MgCl 2 , 100 M ethylene glycol-bis(-aminoethylether)-N,N,N',N'-tetraacetic acid (EGTA) or 25 M CaCl 2 , and 15 mM 2-[4-(2-hydroxyethyl)-1-piperazinyl] ethanesulfonic acid (HEPES) at pH 7.5. According to the manufacturer, Alexa-calmodulin had two dye moieties per calmodulin molecule; the modified residues were likely Lys-75 and Lys-94, the most reactive of calmodulin's lysine residues [ 44 ] . After incubation for 2 hours at room temperature, we transferred 50 l of the solution to another 96-well plate and measured fluorescence (excitation 485 nm; emission, 520 nm) using a BMG Labtechnologies Fluorostar 403 microplate fluorometer (Durham, NC). Under the assay conditions, the inner-filter effect (absorption of excitation or emission photons by the sample) was negligible. From this measurement, we calculated the amount of calmodulin bound to the conjugated peptides. In some experiments, we also included 0.1-100 M unconjugated IQ peptide; in that case, we carried out duplicate control reactions in underivatized 96-well plates to correct for fluorescence quenching exerted by IQ peptides. Peptide - calmodulin interaction by fluorescence quench We used empirically observed changes in the fluorescence intensity of Alexa-calmodulin, large in magnitude, to measure binding of IQ peptides to calmodulin. Peptides and 50-500 nM Alexa-calmodulin were mixed in 96- or 384-well microtiter plates with 150 mM KCl, 1 mM MgCl 2 , 100 M EGTA or 25 M CaCl 2 , 0.5 mg/ml bovine serum albumin, and 15 mM HEPES at pH 7.5; in some experiments we added 50-75 M bovine-brain calmodulin. Total volume varied from 10 l (384-well plates) to 100 l (96-well plates). After 1-2 hours at room temperature, fluorescence was read directly. When IQ peptides bound to Alexa-calmodulin, the fluorescence intensity was reduced as the quantum yield decreased (fluorescence quenching). We assumed that two fluorescent species were present, Alexa-calmodulin and IQ peptide-bound Alexa-calmodulin, and that the fluorescence intensity ( I ) was a linear combination of the fluorescence of the two species: I = f CaM I CaM + f CaM-IQ I CaM-IQ (1) where f CaM and f CaM-IQ are the mole fractions of the two components and I CaM and I CaM-IQ are their fluorescence intensities. Because the quantum yield of Alexa-calmodulin is reduced when IQ peptides bind, I CaM-IQ < I CaM . The fraction of peptide bound is: To calculate K d , we fit the data with a bimolecular-binding isotherm: where [IQ] was the free IQ-peptide concentration added. Because we used concentrations of Alexa-calmodulin in our experiments that were much less than the K d , we approximated [IQ] using the total IQ peptide concentration. In other cases, however, the binding data were fit better with a modified Hill equation: where h is the Hill coefficient. A value for h greater than one suggests the fluorescence change arose from a more complex equilibrium than just one peptide binding per calmodulin. To carry out stoichiometric-titration experiments (calmodulin concentration greater than the K d ), we used a low concentration of Alexa-calmodulin as a reporter and added an excess of unlabeled calmodulin. For simplicity in analysis, we assumed that Alexa-calmodulin behaved identically to calmodulin, and thus this calmodulin mixture was equivalent to a decrease in specific activity (fluorescence quench) of calmodulin. We then solved the bimolecular-binding isotherm to enable us to plot the total ligand concentration ( T ) added versus fluorescence intensity ( I ). The concentration of peptide bound ( B ) was: B = m [CaM] f CaM-IQ (5) where m is the number of binding sites per calmodulin and [CaM] is the fixed concentration of calmodulin. The free concentration of IQ peptide ( F ) was T - B . We substituted the expression for B in equations (2) and (5) into: Note that n [CaM] is the maximum amount of IQ peptide that can bind (B max ). We then solved equation (6) for fluorescence intensity using Mathematica 4.0 (Wolfram Research, Champaign, IL): For m = 1, the only free parameters were K d and I CaM-IQ . We were forced to include I CaM-IQ as one of the fit parameters; the limited solubility of IQ peptides in the assay solution prevented us from using very high peptide concentrations that would independently establish its value by producing a plateau in the T vs. I plot. We then used the value of I CaM-IQ determined from the m = 1 fit and refit the data for m = 2, using K d as the only free parameter. To judge the stoichiometry, we compared by eye the effectiveness of the fit under the two conditions. Baculovirus constructs Using methods described previously for rat Myo1c [ 43 ] , we cloned full-length bullfrog Myo1c into the baculovirus transfer vector pBlueBacHis2B (Invitrogen, Carlsbad, CA), introducing an N-terminal hexahistidine tag for purification and a DLYDDDDK epitope tag for antibody detection. Baculoviruses were generated, purified, and characterized using standard techniques [ 43 45 ] . Protein expression and purification Bullfrog Myo1c or its neck-tail fragment (Fig. 1A,1B) were co-expressed with Xenopus calmodulin in Sf9 cells using methods described previously [ 43 ] . Xenopus calmodulin is identical to all other sequenced vertebrate calmodulins, including bovine calmodulin [ 46 ] ; we presume that bullfrog calmodulin is also identical. Recombinant proteins were partially purified by centrifugation of an Sf9-cell extract and Ni 2+-nitrilotriacetic acid chromatography [ 43 ] ; further purification was achieved using gel filtration at 4C on a 25-ml Superdex 200 HR 10/30 column run at 0.5 ml/min in 400 mM KCl, 1 mM MgCl 2 , 100 M EGTA, 15 mM HEPES pH 7.5 with an AKTA-FPLC system (Amersham Pharmacia Biotech, Piscataway, NJ). The concentration of each purified recombinant protein was calculated by measuring absorption at 280 nm and using extinction coefficients calculated from the appropriate aminoacid sequence using the ExPASy ProtParam tool http://www.expasy.ch/tools/protparam.html, assuming 2.5 calmodulins per full-length Myo1c (53,619 M -1cm -1) or T701 fragment (65,565 M -1cm -1). We typically obtained 100-300 g of recombinant protein from ~10 9Sf9 cells. Full-length Myo1c had NH 4 Cl-activated ATPase activity [ 12 ] of 1.8 0.7 s -1, with a K m for ATP of 0.3 0.1 mM. Actin activated basal Mg 2+-ATPase activity ~15-fold. Calmodulin was purified from bovine brain (Pel-Freez, Rogers, AR) by isoelectric precipitation and phenyl-agarose (Sigma, St. Louis, MO) chromatography [ 47 ] ; its concentration was measured assuming a molar extinction coefficient of 3030 M -1cm -1at 276 nm [ 48 ] . Gel filtration Stokes radii of Myo1c and T701-Myo1c were measured using gel filtration on a 25-ml Superdex 200 HR 10/30 column at either 4C or room temperature (23-25C). Columns were run at 0.5 ml/min in 400 mM KCl, 1 mM MgCl 2 , 15 mM HEPES pH 7.5, and either 100 M EGTA or 25 M CaCl 2 ; 5-20 g of recombinant protein was applied to the column. Columns were calibrated using 20-200 g each of globular proteins of known Stokes radii (thyroglobulin, 8.50 nm; ferritin, 6.10 nm; catalase, 5.22 nm; aldolase, 4.81 nm; bovine serum albumin, 3.55 nm; ovalbumin, 3.05 nm; chymotrypsinogen, 2.09 nm; and RNase A, 1.64 nm; all obtained from Amersham Pharmacia Biotech). Proteins were detected by absorption at 280 nm. Velocity sedimentation on sucrose gradients Sedimentation coefficients of full-length and T701-Myo1c were measured using linear 5-20% sucrose gradients in 11.5 ml of 400 mM KCl, 1 mM MgCl 2 , 15 mM HEPES pH 7.5, 0.2 mM phenylmethylsulfonyl fluoride, 10 M leupeptin, 10 M pepstatin, and either 100 M EGTA or 25 M CaCl 2 . Gradients were calibrated with 2-20 g internal standards of known sedimentation coefficients (catalase, 11.3 S; bovine serum albumin, 4.31 S; lysozyme, 1.91 S; all obtained from Sigma-Aldrich). After centrifugation at 33,000-40,000 rpm in an SW 41 rotor for 15-18 hours at 4C or 25C, gradients were fractionated from the bottom into ~30 fractions. Calibration proteins were located using a Bradford protein assay [ 49 ] ; Myo1c-containing fractions were located by ELISA [ 43 ] using an antibody against the Myo1c tail (mT2/M2; ref. [ 50 ] ) or against the DLYDDDDK epitope tag (anti-Xpress; Invitrogen). To determine the location of protein peaks, plots of fraction number versus the levels of Myo1c or calibration proteins were fit with either one, two, or three Gaussian curves. For calmodulin preloading of T701-Myo1c, 10 M purified calmodulin was incubated with 1 M Myo1c in a solution containing either 100 M EGTA or 25 M CaCl 2 for 60 min at room temperature prior to centrifugation. Determination of molecular mass We used the modified Svedberg equation for molecular-mass determination: where M = molecular mass, = viscosity of the medium, N = Avogadro's number, a = Stokes radius, s = sedimentation coefficient, = partial specific volume, and = density of the medium. Partial specific volume was calculated from the composition of Myo1c or T701-Myo1c, along with the appropriate number of calmodulins, by summing the partial specific volumes of each amino acid [ 30 ] . We used = 1.002 10 -2g cm -1s -1and = 0.998 g cm -3. Errors in molecular mass were propagated from standard deviations for Stokes radius and sedimentation coefficient measurements. To calculate error in calmodulin stoichiometry, we used the conservative assumption that all error in the molecular-mass measurement was due to variability in the number of calmodulins. The frictional ratio was determined from: where f is the frictional coefficient of the Myo1c-calmodulin complex and f 0 is the frictional coefficient of a sphere of equal volume. Accordingly, the frictional ratio of a globular protein will be 1; that of an elongated protein will be >1. Stoichiometry determination by gel scanning T701-Myo1c and bovine-brain calmodulin were separated by sodium dodecyl sulfate gel electrophoresis (SDS-PAGE) and stained with Coomassie blue R250. Gels were scanned with a flatbed scanner; calmodulin was quantified using analysis of the resulting images with NIH Image version 1.62. The concentration of the T701-Myo1c heavy chain was determined by measuring absorbance at 280 nm, although the analysis was complicated by the uncertain calmodulin stoichiometry ( p ). To circumvent this problem, we solved several simultaneous equations for p . The molar extinction coefficient of the T701-Myo1c/calmodulin complex ( T701-CaM ) is given by: T701-CaM = T701 + p CaM (10) where T701 is the extinction coefficient of the T701-Myo1c heavy chain alone (57,990 M -1cm -1), CaM is the extinction coefficient of calmodulin (2560 M -1cm -1), and p is the calmodulin:T701 stoichiometry. The concentration of T701-Myo1c heavy chain is given by: where A280 is the absorbance of the complex at 280 nm for a 1 cm pathlength. Finally, p [T701 HC ] = [CaM] (12) where [CaM] is the calmodulin concentration determined by gel scanning. Solving for p : Other methods We measured the free Ca 2+concentrations in our solutions using spectrofluorometry with Calcium Green-2 (Molecular Probes). SDS-PAGE was carried out with 18% acrylamide Criterion gels (Bio-Rad Laboratories; Hercules, CA); gels were stained with Coomassie blue R250. Authors' contributions Author 1 (PGG) conceived of the experimental approach, carried out many of the experiments, supervised the technician who performed the remainder, developed the methods for analysis, analyzed and interpreted the data, and wrote the manuscript. Author 2 (JLC) contributed to the development of the experimental approach, helped analyze and interpret the data, and edited the manuscript. Background Accurate computational protein function analysis is an important way of extracting value from primary sequence data. Due to the large amount of data, automated systems seem unavoidable (at least for initial, prioritizing steps). Such efforts are complicated, for a variety of reasons. Many proteins belong to large families, as suggested by Dayhoff [ 1 ] . Such families are often composed of subfamilies related to each other by gene duplication events. For example, Ingram [ 2 ] showed that human , , and chains of hemoglobins are related to each other by gene duplications. Gene duplication allows one copy to assume a new biological role through mutation, while the other copy preserves the original functionality [ 3 4 ] . Hence, subfamilies often differ in their biological functionality yet still exhibit a high degree of sequence similarity. Other complications in functional analysis include: ignoring the multi-domain organization of proteins; error propagation caused by transfer of information from previously erroneously annotated sequences; insufficient masking of low complexity regions; and alternative splicing [ 5 ] . Typically, automated sequence function analysis relies on pairwise sequence similarity and programs such as BLAST [ 6 ] or FASTA [ 7 ] . Annotating a sequence by transferring annotation from its most similar sequence(s) tends to produce overly specific annotation. In contrast, analyses using profile search algorithms such as HMMER http://hmmer.wustl.edu/and Pfam [ 8 ] classify sequences too generally. They recognize that a query sequence belongs to a certain family (or, to be more precise, indicate which domain(s) the query is likely to contain), but do not subclassify the sequence. At least two scenarios can cause misleading predictions when using pairwise sequence similarity alone for annotation: (i) not having a known annotated representative of the correct subfamily because incomplete sequence databases and/or gene loss (Figure 1), and (ii) unequal rates of evolution (Figure 2). The case of trying to annotate the first (or only) representative of a novel subfamily is of particular interest. Pairwise similarity based methods alone cannot recognize that a new sequence does not belong in any currently known subfamily (e.g. "orphan" G-protein coupled receptors), because every sequence is most similar to something. In contrast, when constructing a phylogenetic tree, this case is easy to observe (as illustrated in Figure 1). A human annotator can use phylogenetic tree analysis to place a new sequence in the subfamily structure of a gene tree of known sequences. This approach was called "phylogenomics" by Eisen [ 9 ] . It would be desirable to automate this procedure, but the best automated methods for subfamily annotation, such as the COGs database [ 10 ] , are clustering methods that do not directly use phylogenetic analysis. It is infeasible to completely automate functional analysis, because it is impossible to precisely define what protein "function" means. However, a principle of phylogenomics is that orthologous sequences (that diverged by speciation) are more likely to conserve protein function than paralogous sequences (that diverged by gene duplication). Orthology and paralogy are well defined and can be inferred from gene and species trees. One useful and automatable phylogenomics approach would be as follows: if a novel sequence has orthologs, annotation can be transferred from them (as in best BLAST analysis); if there are no orthologs, the sequence is classified as just a family member (as in Pfam/InterPro analysis) and flagged as possibly the first representative of a novel subfamily. At the core of such approaches stands therefore the distinction between orthologs and paralogs, and hence the ability to discriminate between duplication and speciation events on a gene tree. Various efficient algorithms to infer gene duplications on a gene tree by comparing it to a species tree have been described (for example: by Eulenstein [ 11 ] , and by Zhang [ 12 ] ). We developed a simple algorithm (named SDI for Speciation Duplication Inference) that appears to solve this problem even more efficiently on realistic data sets, though it has an asymptotic worst-case running time that is less favorable [ 13 ] . In practice, phylogenetic trees are unreliable. Errors in trees will produce spurious inferred duplications. This is obviously problematic if duplications are to be used as indicators of potential functional changes. Therefore, instead of determining the orthologs of a query sequence on just one gene tree, inference could be performed over bootstrap resampled gene trees [ 14 15 ] to estimate of the reliability of the assignments. Here we describe and test a procedure - RIO (for Resampled Inference of Orthologs) - which allows to perform such analyses in an automated fashion. We present results of using RIO to analyze a plant ( A. thaliana [ 16 ] ) and an animal (the nematode C. elegans [ 17 ] ) proteome. Algorithm Definitions Orthologs are defined as two genes that diverged by a speciation event. Paralogs are defined as two genes that diverged by a duplication event [ 18 ] . Other concepts derived from gene trees can be useful for functional prediction. We introduce and justify three such concepts ("super-orthologs", "ultra-paralogs", and "subtree-neighbors"): Careless use of orthology relationships without examining the tree itself can lead to incorrect annotations. In the example shown in Figure 3A, the human query sequence has two orthologous sequences in wheat. These two wheat sequences are related to each other by a gene duplication and one (or even both) of them might have undergone functional modification after their divergence. Given a procedure that gave a list of orthologues for the human gene query, such situations should be revealed by only partial (or complete absence of) agreement between the annotations of the wheat orthologs. Now consider the situation in Figure 3B. This is trickier, since in this case only one ortholog will be reported for the query sequence, but it will be just as dangerous to transfer annotation. We do not attempt to solve this problem (the solution is careful manual analysis of the gene tree) but an automated procedure can warn that this situation might be present. For this purpose we introduce the concept of "super-orthologs": Definition 1. Given a rooted gene tree with duplication or speciation assigned to each of its internal nodes, two sequences are super-orthologous if and only if each internal node on their connecting path represents a speciation event. Hence, the query sequences in Figure 3have no super-orthologs. In contrast, the rat, mouse, and wheat sequences in Figure 1Aare super-orthologs pf the human query sequence. By definition, the super-orthologs of a given sequence are a subset of its orthologs. Certain sequences underwent multiple recent duplications, resulting in large species specific sequence families, such as the C. elegans seven-transmembrane proteins acting as odorant and chemosensory receptors [ 19 20 ] . For query sequences belonging to such sequence families, orthologs (if present) are less effective for predicting specific information. In these cases, paralogs of the same (sub) family might be more informative for functional prediction (as long as the duplications indeed happened "late" in evolutionary times). To formalize this, we introduce the concept of "ultra-paralogs": Definition 2. Given a rooted gene tree with duplication or speciation assigned to each of its internal nodes, two sequences are ultra-paralogous if and only if the smallest subtree containing them both contains only internal nodes representing duplications. Figure 4illustrates the concept of ultra-paralogs. It follows from definition 2 that two ultra-paralogous sequences must occur in the same species. Often, researchers construct a gene tree and then informally use "subtrees" (clades) to make inferences about sequences (without regard to duplications and speciations). We introduce this concept into our procedure as well, formalized as "subtree-neighbors" (illustrated in Figure 5): Definition 3. Given a completely binary and rooted gene tree, the k -subtree-neighbors of a sequence q are defined as all sequences derived from the k -level parent node of q , except q itself (the level of q itself is 0, q 's parent is 1, and so forth). Subtree-neighbors can be useful if there is (partial) agreement among their annotations (for example: if the subtree-neighbors of a query are NAD +-dependent isocitrate dehydrogenase and NADP +-dependent isocitrate dehydrogenase we can suppose that the query is likely to be a isocitrate dehydrogenase, but it is not possible to determine whether it is dependent on NAD +or NADP +). If the subtree-neighbors lack any agreement in their annotations a useful inference is not possible (see [ 9 ] for a more detailed discussion). Furthermore, orthologs that are not also subtree-neighbors can be misleading (for a more detailed discussion of this, see below, and see Figures 10and 11for examples). The RIO procedure This basic RIO procedure is as follows. For a simple example with only four bootstrap resamples, see Figure 6. We use the Pfam protein family database [ 8 ] as a source of high quality curated multiple sequence alignments and profile HMMs (Hidden Markov Models, see [ 21 ] for a review), as well as programs from the HMMER package http://hmmer.wustl.edu/. RIO can easily be adapted to work with different sources of alignments and different alignment programs. For tree reconstruction, the neighbor joining (NJ) algorithm [ 22 ] is used, since it is reasonably fast, can handle alignments of large numbers of sequences, and does not assume a molecular clock. NJ recreates the correct additive tree as long as the input distances are additive [ 23 ] , and is effective even if additivity is only approximated [ 24 ] . Input: A query protein sequence Q with unknown function. A curated multiple alignment A from the Pfam database for the protein family that Q belongs to (as determined by hmmpfam from the HMMER package). A profile HMM H for the protein family that Q belongs to. Output: A list (as in Figure 7) of proteins orthologous to Q , sorted according to a bootstrap confidence value (based on orthology, super-orthology, or subtree-neighborings). Optional: A gene tree based on the multiple alignment A and the query Q annotated with orthology bootstrap confidence values for the query Q . Procedure: 1. Query sequence Q is aligned to the existing alignment A (using hmmalign from the HMMER package and the Pfam profile HMM H ). 2. The alignment is bootstrap resampled x times (usually, x = 100). 3. Maximum likelihood pairwise distance matrices are calculated for each of the x multiple alignments using a model of amino acid substitution (for example, BLOSUM [ 25 ] or Dayhoff PAM [ 26 ] ). 4. An unrooted phylogenetic tree is inferred for each of the x multiple alignments by neighbor joining [ 22 ] , resulting in x gene trees. Each tree is rooted by a modified version of our SDI algorithm [ 13 ] that minimized the number of duplications postulated (this is discussed in more detail later). 5. For each of the x rooted gene trees: For each node it is inferred whether it represents a duplication or a speciation event by comparing the gene tree to a trusted species tree. 6. For each sequence s in the gene tree (except Q ): Count the number of gene trees where s is orthologous to Q (see Figure 6for an illustration of steps 5. and 6.). Bootstrap confidence values for super-orthologies, ultra-paralogies and subtree-neighbors are calculated analogously. Precalculation of pairwise distances for increased time efficiency The most time consuming step in the procedure described above is the calculation of pairwise distances. [The time complexity is O( xLN 2), N being the number of sequences, L being their length, and x being the number of bootstrap resamples. On an average Intel processor the wall clock time for 100 bootstrapped datasets of a typical Pfam multiple alignment is in the range of hours.] Since the query sequence is aligned to stable Pfam alignments, it is possible to precalculate the pairwise distances for each alignment and store the results. Then, when RIO is being used to analyze a query sequence, only the distances of the query to each sequence in the Pfam alignment have to be calculated. This step becomes thus O( xLN ) instead of O( xLN 2). To do this correctly, the aligned query sequence has to be bootstrap resampled in exactly the same way as was used for precalculating the pairwise distances of the Pfam alignment. For this purpose, bootstrap positions (e.g. which aligned columns from the Pfam alignment were chosen in a particular bootstrap sample) are saved to a file. With this file it is possible to bootstrap the new alignment of N+1 sequences (Pfam alignment plus query sequence) in precisely the same manner, so the NxN precalculated distances are valid for the (N+1)x(N+1) distance matrix. The alignment method must also guarantee that the original Pfam multiple alignment remains unchanged when the query sequence is aligned to it. This requires specially prepared Pfam full alignments and profile HMMs that are created with the HMMER software as follows: Input: Original Pfam full alignment A . Output: "aln" file containing RIO-ready full alignment "hmm" file containing a RIO-ready profile HMM "nbd" file containing pairwise distances "bsp" file bootstrap positions file "pwd" file containing pairwise distances for bootstrap resampled alignment 1. Remove sequences from species not in RIO's master species tree from alignment A . If A does not contain enough sequences (<6), abort. 2. Run hmmbuild -o A' on A , using the same options as were used to build the original Pfam HMM for A , resulting in alignment A' . (HMMER's construction procedure slightly modifies the input alignment in ways that are usually unimportant, but which matter to bootstrapping in RIO.) Keep A' as the "aln" file. 3. Run hmmbuild with "--hand" option on A' , resulting in HMM H' (using the same options as were used to build the original HMM for A ). Calibrate H' with hmmcalibrate and keep as "hmm" file. 4. Remove non-consensus (insert) columns from A' (these are annotated by HMMER), resulting in alignment A" . 5. Calculate pairwise distances for A" , resulting in the "nbd" file (non-bootstrapped distances). 6. Bootstrap resample the columns of A" , resulting in the "bsp" file (bootstrap positions file). 7. Calculate pairwise distances for bootstrapped A" , resulting in the "pwd" file. Rooting of gene trees The concept of speciation and duplication is only meaningful on rooted gene trees, but the neighbor joining algorithm infers unrooted trees. We use a simple parsimony criterion for rooting. Gene trees are rooted on each branch, resulting in 2 N -3 differently rooted trees for a gene tree of N sequences. For each of these, the number of inferred duplications is determined. From the trees with a minimal number of duplications (if there is more than one) the tree with the shortest total height is chosen as the rooted tree. Empirical studies on gene trees based on 1750 Pfam alignments show that about 60% of trees rooted in such a way have their root in the same position that direct midpoint rooting [ 27 ] would place it. Naively performing a full duplication/speciation analysis on each of 2 N -3 differently rooted trees results in a overall time complexity of O( N 2) or worse, but this can be avoided. For the purpose of the following discussion it is assumed that our SDI algorithm for speciation/duplication inference is employed, but the idea applies to all algorithms based on a mapping function M defined as follows [ 28 ] : Definition 4. Let G be the set of nodes in a rooted binary gene tree and S the set of nodes in a rooted binary species tree. For any node g G , let ( g ) be the set of species in which occur the extant genes descendant from g . For any node s S , let ( s ) be the set of species in the external nodes descendant from s . For any g G , let M( g ) S be the smallest (lowest) node in S satisfying ( g ) (M( g )). Duplications are then defined using M( g ) as follows: Definition 5. Let g 1 and g 2 be the two child nodes of an internal node g of a rooted binary gene tree G . Node g is a duplication if and only if M( g ) = M( g 1 ) or M( g ) = M( g 2 ). The main task of most algorithms for duplication inference is the calculation of M. After M has been calculated for any rooted gene tree G it is possible to explore different root placements without having to recalculate M for every node of G . As long as the root is moved one node at the time, M has to be recalculated only for two nodes: the one node which was child 1 (if the new root is placed on a branch originating from child 1 of the previous root) or child 2 (otherwise) of the previous root, as well as for the new root itself. Hence, two postorder traversal steps (child 1 or 2 of the old root, then the new root) in the SDI algorithm are all that is needed. The new sum of duplications is determined by keeping track of the change in duplication/speciation status in the two recalculated nodes as well as in the previous root. Performing this over the whole gene tree (some nodes will be visited twice) it is possible to explore all possible root placements and calculate the resulting duplications in practically linear time. The pseudocode algorithm is as follows: Algorithm for speciation duplication inference combined with rooting Input : binary gene tree G , rooted binary species tree S . Output: G with "duplication" or "speciation" assigned to each internal node and rooted in such a way that the sum of duplications is minimized. SDIunrooted(G, S) root gene tree G at the midpoint of any branch; set B = getBranchesInOrder( G ); SDIse( G , S ) (see [ 13 ] ); for each branch b in B : set n 1 = child 1 of root of G ; set n 2 = child 2 of root of G ; root G at the midpoint of branch b ; updateM( n 1 , n 2 , G ); if (sum of duplications in G < d min ): set d min = d ; set G dmin = G ; return G dmin ; updateM( n 1 , n 2 , G ) set r = root of G ; if (child 1 of r == n 1 || child 2 of r == n 1 ): calculateMforNode( n 1 ); else: calculateMforNode( n 2 ); calculateMforNode( r ); calculateMforNode( n ) if ( n != external): set a = M(child 1 of n ); set b = M(child 2 of n ); while ( a != b ): if ( a > b ): set a = parent of a ; else: set b = parent of b ; set M( n ) = a ; if (M( n ) == M(child 1 of n ) || M( n ) == M(child 2 of n ): n is duplication; else: n is speciation; getBranchesInOrder( G ) set n = root of G ; set i = 0; while !( n == root && indicator of n == 2): if ( n != external && indicator of n != 2): if (indicator of n == 0): set indicator of n = 1; set n = child 1 of n ; else: set indicator of n = 2; set n = child 2 of n ; if (parent of n != root): set B [ i ] = branch connecting n and parent of n ; else: set B [ i ] = branch connecting child 1 of root and child 2 of root; set i = i + 1; else: if (parent of n != root && n != external): set B [ i ] = branch connecting n and parent of n ; set i = i + 1; set n = parent of n ; return B ; Master species tree Duplication inference requires a species tree. For this purpose, a single completely binary master species tree was compiled manually, containing 249 of the most commonly encountered species in Pfam (spanning Archaea, Bacteria, and Eukaryotes). This tree is based mainly on information from Maddison's "Tree of Life" project http://tolweb.org/tree/phylogeny.html, NCBI's taxonomy database http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/Taxonomy/taxonomyhome.html, the "Deep Green" project http://ucjeps.berkeley.edu/bryolab/greenplantpage.html, and [ 29 30 31 32 ] . This master tree groups nematodes and arthropods into a clade of ecdysozoans (molting animals) as proposed by Aguinaldo [ 29 ] , a classification which is still controversial. The tree is available in NHX format [ 33 ] at http://www.genetics.wustl.edu/eddy/forester/tree_of_life_bin_1-4.nhx. Implementation RIO is implemented in a Perl pipeline of several software programs as follows. Alignment of the query sequence is done programs from the HMMER package http://hmmer.wustl.edu/. Bootstrapping is performed by a bespoke C program. Maximum likelihood pairwise distances are calculated using BLOSUM matrices [ 25 ] by a modified version of TREE-PUZZLE [ 34 ] . Neighbor joining trees are calculated by a modified version of NEIGHBOR from the PHYLIP package [ 35 ] http://evolution.genetics.washington.edu/phylip.html. Rooting and duplication inference are accomplished by "SDIunrooted" - a Java implementation of our SDI algorithm which incorporates various methods for rooting (see above). The actual counting of orthologs is performed by methods of the Java class "RIO". These programs, with the exception of HMMER, are part of the FORESTER package and are available under the GNU license at http://www.genetics.wustl.edu/eddy/forester/. In order to run RIO locally, the following packages and databases need to be present: HMMER, the Pfam database [ 8 ] , the SWISS-PROT and TrEMBL databases [ 36 ] . RIO is also available as an analysis webserver at http://www.rio.wustl.edu/. The pairwise distance and tree calculations are parallelized in this version (currently, ten 1.26 GHz Pentium III processors are being used). Results and Discussion Precalculation of pairwise distances Pairwise distances to be used in RIO analyses were calculated using the "full" alignments (as opposed to the smaller curated "seed" alignments) from Pfam 6.6 (August 2001, 3071 families, [ 8 ] ). Sequences from species not present in the master species tree were removed from the alignments. For computational efficiency reasons, alignments that still contained more than 600 sequences were further pruned; sequences not originating from SWISS-PROT were discarded, and sequences from certain mammals were excluded (mouse, rabbit, hamsters, goat, all primates except human), since mammals are likely to be oversampled in most Pfam families. For some extremely large families [immunoglobulin domain (PF00047), protein kinase domain (PF00069), collagen triple helix repeat (PF01391), and rhodopsin-type 7 transmembrane receptor (PF00001)], all mammalian sequences except those from human and rat were excluded. Alignments of average length <30 amino acids (<40 for zinc finger domains) or with <6 sequences were not analyzed, because of lack of phylogenetic signal. For all other families, pairwise distances for 100 bootstrap samples were prepared. Following the above rules, pairwise distances were precalculated for 2384 alignments from a total of 3071 in Pfam 6.6 (75 alignments were too short and 612 alignments contained less than six sequences from species in the master species tree). Phylogenomic analyses of the A. thalianaand C. elegansproteomes In order to get an estimate of the effectiveness of this implementation of automated phylogenomics, we used the RIO procedure to analyze the A. thaliana [ 16 ] and C. elegans [ 17 ] proteomes. The input for RIO consists of a query protein sequence together with a Pfam alignment for a protein family that the query belongs to. Before RIO could be applied we therefore had to determine the matching domains for each protein in the A. thaliana and C. elegans proteomes. For proteins composed of different domains, a RIO analysis is performed for each domain individually. The source for protein sequences were: ATH1.pep.03202001, a flatfile database of 25,579 A. thaliana amino acid sequences (hypothetical, predicted and experimentally verified) that have been identified as part of the Arabidopsis Genome Initiative (AGI) http://www.arabidopsis.org/info/agi.html, and wormpep 43, a flatfile database of 19,730 C. elegans amino acid sequences http://www.sanger.ac.uk/Projects/C_elegans/wormpep/. The program hmmpfam (version 2.2 g) from the HMMER package was used to search each protein sequence in ATH1.pep.03202001 and wormpep 43 against Pfam 6.6. Only domains with a score above the so-called Pfam gathering cutoff were reported ("cut_ga" option) in order to include only confident domain assignments. The sum of domains assigned to the 25,579 A. thaliana protein sequences was 17,847 (counting multiple copies of the same domain in one protein as one). 12,431 sequences matched one domain (containing possibly multiple copies of this one domain). 1,982 sequences matched two different domains (containing possibly multiple copies of both). 453 sequences matched three or more different domains (containing possibly multiple copies of each). Therefore, a total of 14,866 (58%) sequences from ATH1.pep.03202001 could be assigned to one or more Pfam families. Similarly, a sum of 12,314 domains was assigned to the 19,769 C. elegans protein sequences. 7,698 sequences matched one domain, 1,632 matched two different domains, and 388 matched three or more different domains. Thus, 9,718 (49%) sequences from wormpep 43 could be assigned to one or more Pfam families. RIO was then used to analyze each protein sequence matching one or more Pfam families. The results from these analyses can be found at http://www.genetics.wustl.edu/eddy/forester/rio_analyses/. The approximate time requirement was between two and three weeks, performed on eight Pentium III 800 Mhz processors. How many sequences can be analyzed with RIO? The first question we asked was simply how many sequences can be analyzed with RIO. For an overview, see Table 1. From the 17,847 A. thaliana domain sequences matching a Pfam family, 14,905 (84%) could be analyzed with RIO using the precalculated distances. 2859 (16%) domain sequences were not analyzed because the corresponding Pfam alignments were either too short or did not contain enough sequences (as described above). 83 (0.5%) domain sequences were not analyzed because the E-value for the match to their profile HMM was below the threshold of 0.01. This represents a second filtering step for preventing analyzing false domain assignments (besides only analyzing domain sequences which score above the gathering cutoff in the domain analysis). (RIO performs a preprocessing step before aligning the query sequence to a Pfam alignment, in which the program hmmsearch is used to trim the query sequence by searching it with the appropriate profile HMM. If the resulting E-value was below 0.01 no analysis was performed.) Multiple copies of the same domain in certain sequences result in a sum of individual analyses larger then the number of analyzed domain sequences. In case of A. thaliana this number was 17,940. Correspondingly, from the 12,314 C. elegans domain sequences matching a Pfam family, 11,287 (92%) could be analyzed with RIO using the precalculated distances. 901 (7%) domain sequences were not analyzed because the corresponding Pfam alignments were either too short or did not contain enough sequences. 53 (0.4%) domain sequences were not analyzed because the E-value for the match to their profile HMM was below the threshold of 0.01. In addition, we did not analyze the 73 C. elegans sequences matching the immunoglobulin family (PF00047), because we considered the phylogenetic signal in this alignment to be questionable. Furthermore, most of the 73 sequences contain multiple copies of the immunoglobulin domain (for example, CE08028 contains 48 immunoglobulin domains) and we therefore worried that the results from this family might skew our overall results. The sum of RIO analyses was 14,740. Thus, a little less than half of each proteome can be analyzed by RIO. The most important factor is whether a protein sequence has a match to a Pfam domain family. RIO analysis of lactate/malate dehydrogenase family members In order to test whether RIO performs well on an "easy" case, RIO was used to analyze lactate/malate dehydrogenase family members both in A. thaliana and C. elegans . L-Lactate and malate dehydrogenases are members of the same protein family (represented in Pfam as ldh for the NAD-binding domain and ldh_C for the alpha/beta C-terminal domain), yet they catalyze different reactions. L-lactate dehydrogenase (EC 1.1.1.27) catalyzes the following reaction: (S)-lactate + NAD += pyruvate + NADH [ 37 ] . Malate dehydrogenase (NAD) (EC 1.1.1.37) catalyzes: (S)-malate + NAD += oxaloacetate + NADH [ 38 ] . NADP-dependent malate dehydrogenase (EC 1.1.1.82) utilizes NADP +as cofactor instead of NAD + [ 39 40 ] . According to the Pfam domain analysis described above, the A. thaliana proteome contains ten lactate/malate dehydrogenase family members, whereas the C. elegans proteome contains three. (In addition, C. elegans also contains two putative members of a second lactate/malate dehydrogenase family [ 41 ] , ldh_2, which are not discussed here.) The RIO output for the A. thaliana protein F12M16_14 analyzed against the ldh domain alignment is shown as an example in Figure 7. The results are summarized in Tables 2and 3. Complete RIO output files (as well as NHX [ 33 ] tree files) are avaliable, herefor A. thaliana and at herefor c.elegans . In all cases, distinction between malate dehydrogenase (NAD) and lactate dehydrogenase is unquestionable and in accordance with existing annotations and BLAST results irrespective which domain (ldh or ldh_C) was used for the RIO analysis (which implies that no domain swapping occurred over long evolutionary times). Furthermore, the same results are achieved whether only the top 1 sequence (the one with the highest orthology value, shown in Tables 2and 3) or the top 10 sequences are used to transfer annotation from. The only likely NADP-dependent malate dehydrogenase is the A. thaliana sequence MCK7_20. For some query sequences, the top orthology values are low. Yet, all subtree-neighborings above 50% exhibit consensus at distinguishing between malate and lactate dehydrogenase. In contrast, a finer distinction (e.g. between mitochondrial and cytoplasmic malate dehydrogenase) proves more problematic. While there is no case of actual conflict between the existing annotation and the RIO results, in many cases there is no compelling evidence in the RIO results to confirm the finer distinctions in the existing annotations. Obviously, the resolution power of RIO is limited by the given annotations and by the number (or even presence) of sequences for each sub(sub)family. Sequences with no orthologs in the current databases Next, we determined the distribution of the top orthology bootstrap values. The sequence with the top orthology bootstrap value is the one that is most likely to be the true ortholog of the query. If the top orthology bootstrap value is low, then the query sequence is likely to have no ortholog in the Pfam alignment. These results are summarized in Table 4. For example, for 2252 A. thaliana query sequences, at least one sequence was orthologous in at least 95 out of 100 resampled trees. In contrast, for 930 A. thaliana query sequences, no sequence was orthologous in more than five out of 100 bootstrapped trees. For query sequences with more than one copy of the same domain, each copy had to meet the conditions individually in order for the whole query sequence being counted to be below or above the threshold. We do not think it is possible at this stage to determine reliable threshold values for "true orthologs" or "absence of orthologs". Such thresholds are very likely to be different for different Pfam families since families vary in the phylogenetic signal their alignment contains. Some sequences that are very likely to be true orthologs nonetheless exhibit marginal orthology bootstrap values (in the range of 70% or even lower). We focused on sequences that appeared to have no orthologs (<5% bootstrap), since these would be cases where a RIO analysis might be most able to correct overly specific annotations that might be transferred based solely on sequence similarity (as illustrated in Figure 1). An example for this is the A. thaliana sequence F28P22_13. (Files related to this analysis are avaliable, here.) This sequence is a zinc-binding dehydrogenase (Pfam: adh_zinc, PF00107). F28P22_13 has been annotated in ATH1.pep.03202001 "as putative cinnamyl-alcohol dehydrogenase", based on sequence similarity (its top 10 BLAST matches are all cinnamyl-alcohol dehydrogenases with E-values in the range of 10 -94if analyzed against all non-redundant GenBank CDS translations+PDB+SwissProt+PIR+PRF on Jan 2, 2002). Cinnamyl-alcohol dehydrogenase (EC 1.1.1.195) catalyzes the following reaction: cinnamyl alcohol + NADP += cinnamaldehyde + NADPH (but it can also act on coniferyl alcohol, sinapyl alcohol and 4-coumaryl alcohol) in the flavonoid, stilbene and lignin biosynthesis pathways [ 40 42 ] . According to the RIO analysis, F28P22_13 has no orthologs (see Figure 8for the corresponding tree and Figure 9for the RIO output). Furthermore its subtree-neighbors above 90%, cinnamyl-alcohol dehydrogenases and NADP-dependent alcohol dehydrogenases (EC 1.1.1.2), exhibit only partial annotation agreement (namely that of some type of NADP-dependent alcohol dehydrogenase, but not EC 1.1.1.2 or EC 1.1.1.195). Hence, F28P22_13 is likely to be a (possibly novel) type of NADP-dependent alcohol dehydrogenase (other than EC 1.1.1.2), possibly a novel type of cinnamyl-alcohol dehydrogenase. One might expect that each query sequence that appears to have no orthologs is connected with scenario similar to the one described above for F28P22_13. Yet, this is clearly not the case, for the following reasons: (i) Gene duplications might not be followed by functional modification (many Pfam families are composed of sequences which have all the same function, at least at the resolution of the current annotation). (ii) Some Pfam families are composed solely of sequences originating from closely related (or the same) species (such as PF02362, the B3 DNA binding domain of higher plants). For such families, query sequences from the same species group are expected to have low orthology values. In such cases the concept of subtree-neighbors and ultra-paralogs is more useful than orthologs. (iii) Erroneous RIO results caused by an insufficient phylogenetic signal (due to short sequences, for example) can lead to low orthology values. For this reason, RIO also outputs the average bootstrap value for the consensus tree to give the user a hint about the amount of phylogenetic signal in the alignment used. Inconsistency between orthology bootstrap values and sequence similarity We were next interested in the number of sequences in the two proteomes for which the orthology bootstrap values do not correspond to sequence similarity (Table 5). Such disagreements could be caused by the situation illustrated in Figure 2. To determine these numbers, we used the following rules. Two thresholds for orthology bootstrap values were chosen: O , the minimum for being an ortholog (e.g. 90%) and N , the maximum for not being an ortholog (e.g. 10%). Furthermore, a maximal ratio R for the distance of the query to non-orthologs to the distance of the query to orthologs was chosen (e.g. 0.5). In order for being counted as exhibiting disagreement between the orthology bootstrap values and sequence similarity a query sequence had to fulfill the following two conditions: (i) it must have a least one ortholog with bootstrap orthology value above or equal to O , and (ii) all sequences in the alignment with bootstrap orthology values above N , must have distance ratios smaller or equal to R for at least one sequence with bootstrap orthology lower or equal to N . Sequences from the following species were ignored in this analysis (since they were the species of the query sequence or related to it): A. thaliana proteome: Rosidae ( A. thaliana, Pisum sativum , Glycine max , Cucurbita maxima , Cucumis sativus , Brassica campestris , Brassica napus , Citrus unshiu , Citrus sinensis , Theobroma cacao , Gossypium hirsutum ); C. elegans proteome: nematodes ( C. elegans , Caenorhabditis briggsae , Haemonchus contortus , Ascaris suum ). Manual inspection of the RIO output leads to the following, somewhat unexpected, conclusion. In many cases a discrepancy between orthology bootstrap values and sequence similarity is caused by orthologs in only phylogenetically distant (relatively to the query sequence) species. This can lead to errors if functional annotation is blindly transferred from these orthologs to the query. As an example of this, the results of analyzing the A. thaliana O-methyltransferase F16P17_38 are shown in Figures 10and 11. (Complete files are at here.) Even though the F16P17_38 sequence is orthologous to the bacterial hydroxyneurosporene methyltransferases (EC 2.1.1.-) [ 43 ] it would be dangerous to annotate it as such. A more reasonable annotation for this query would be to annotate it based on subtree-neighbors and hence call it a plant O-methyltransferase. An indication of this problem (besides a discrepancy between orthology bootstrap values and sequence similarity) is the meeting of the following three conditions: A query sequence has (i) likely orthologs and (ii) likely subtree-neighbors in other species than the query itself, yet (iii) there is no significant overlap between the orthologs and the subtree-neighbors. We were unable to find convincing examples in the C. elegans and A. thaliana proteomes where wrong sequence similarity based annotations might be caused by unequal rates of evolution (as illustrated in Figure 2). This is not to say that such cases do not exist in those two proteomes, but they are likely to be quite rare. Similarly to the issues described in the previous section, the detection of such examples is complicated by the fact that for many cases in which a discrepancy between orthology bootstrap values and sequence similarity exists, all sequences in the Pfam alignment appear to have to same function, the Pfam family is lineage specific, or the annotations are too poor/confusing to make any kind of inference. Conclusions RIO is a procedure for automated phylogenomics. The RIO procedure appears to be particularly useful for the detection of first representatives of novel protein subfamilies. Sequence similarity based methods can be misleading in these cases since every query is always "most similar to something", whereas RIO can detect the absence of orthologs. Storm, Sonnhammer, and colleagues have recently developed similar ideas and procedures in a program called ORTHOSTRAPPER [ 44 45 ] . One distinction between the two approaches is that ORTHOSTRAPPER's orthology determination procedure does not employ a species tree for duplication inference; it uses a heuristic based on sequence similarity rather than a formally correct phylogenetic means of inferring orthology. Another distinction is that ORTHOSTRAPPER uses uncorrected observed mismatches as a sequence distance measure, rather than estimating evolutionary distances. In general, RIO brings more of the power of known phylogenetic inference algorithms to bear on the problem of proteomic annotation. Super-orthology is a very stringent criterion. If a query sequence is likely to have super-orthologs, they represent an excellent source to transfer functional annotation from. In contrast, the absence of super-orthologs does not imply that a function for a query sequence cannot be inferred (in the two proteomes analyzed in this work, most sequences appear to have no super-orthologs in Pfam 6.6). Ultra-paralogs are sequences in the same species as the query and are likely to be the result of recent duplications and therefore might not have yet undergone much functional divergence. Operationally, splice variants can also be thought of as ultra-paralogs (at least as long as protein sequences are considered). Subtree-neighbors have two uses: (i) If the subtree-neighbors of the query sequence exhibit (partial) agreement in their functional annotations, the elements in which they agree might be used to infer a (partial) function for the query. This is useful for query sequences that are appear to have no orthologs in the current databases. (ii) For query sequences that do have orthologs, absence of overlap between the sequences considered orthologous and those which appear to be subtree-neighbors raises a red flag, indicating that the orthologs are in phylogenetically distant species relative to the query. Transferring annotation from such orthologs is risky. In this case, subtree-neighbors are a more reliable source to transfer annotation from. RIO outputs warnings if the distance of the query sequence to other sequences is unusually short or long, relative to other branch lengths on the tree. The usefulness of this was not investigated in this work. A RIO procedure based on Pfam alignments analyzes each protein domain individually since Pfam is protein family database based on individual domains [ 8 ] . In some respects, it would be preferable to analyze whole protein sequences, but well curated databases of complete protein alignments are not available (to our knowledge). However, domain-by-domain analysis is not necessarily disadvantageous. Due to domain shuffling many proteins are mosaic proteins, composed of domains with different evolutionary histories [ 46 47 ] . For such proteins it makes much sense to analyze each domain individually. Furthermore, mosaic proteins from sufficiently distant species might be impossible to be aligned over more than one domain at the time, since they are unlikely to exhibit the same domain organization. The same is true for multiple copies of the same domain in protein: Each of them is analyzed individually (such proteins often differ in their number of domain copies and could therefore not be aligned from end to end for the whole family). In general, the concept of "annotation consensus" is very important in this work (for example consensus between subtree-neighbors, or between subtree-neighbors and orthologs). We have employed this notion loosely. A useful future extension would be to incorporate automated annotation consensus detection into RIO. This would include annotation of internal nodes of a gene tree with a "biological function". Automated consensus detection is trivial for a highly formalized notation system, such as EC numbers (the consensus of EC 1.1.1.3 and EC 1.1.1.23 is EC 1.1.1, a oxidoreductase acting on the CH-OH group of donors with NAD +or NADP +as acceptor [ 40 ] ). Obviously, it is much more difficult to analyze natural language annotations in the same manner. Perhaps this could be accomplished by utilizing the set of structured vocabularies of the Gene Ontology (GO) project [ 48 ] http://www.geneontology.org/. Background Among the many approaches to identifying functional relationships among genes, the use of bibliographic data to group genes that are functionally related has recently attracted great attention. The huge repository of biological literature, which is still growing at a rapid pace, makes it increasingly difficult for any individual to monitor exhaustively the constituent items related to a specific biological process. Therefore, automated data mining systems for biological literature are becoming a necessity. The availability of biomedical literature in electronic format has made it possible to implement automatic text processing methods to expose implicit relationships among different documents, and more importantly, the functional relationships among the molecules and processes that these documents describe. Shatkay et al [ 1 ] proposed a method, which we denote as the "kernel document method", and applied it to the identification of functional relationships among yeast genes. Briefly, for each gene, a kernel document is carefully selected to establish a one-to-one correspondence between a gene and a kernel document. A set of "related documents" associated with each kernel document is identified using statistical information retrieval methods. The extent to which the two sets of related documents corresponding to each of a pair of kernel documents overlap reflects the relevance of these two kernel documents, and hence the possible functional relatedness of the corresponding genes. The utility of this method relies heavily on the quality of the kernel documents. In this context, a good kernel document should focus on the functions of a gene, instead of on other topics such as the methods or techniques used to identify or study the gene. With carefully selected kernel documents, the relatedness of this gene to others can be made reliant on functional rather than, e.g., structural characteristics. For example, if the topic of one kernel document is "studying gene A by method X", and the topic of the other kernel document is "studying gene B by method X", two functionally unrelated genes A and B could be related to one another simply because they have both been studied by method X. Avoiding such "false positives" is a challenge in applying this method. The selection of functionally-descriptive kernel documents is, therefore, a key to the success of this algorithm. In the original kernel document method, all documents that are related to two kernel documents are weighted equally in establishing the qualitative and quantative aspects of relationship between these two kernel documents. A better practice is to give each document a weight reflecting the relative uniqueness of this document's relationship to the kernel documents. A document that is related to only a few kernel documents is given a greater weight than one that is related to many kernel documents. This argument can be illustrated with an intuitive example: if you are asked to identify two people from a crowd, it is not very helpful if the only information you are given is that each of the two has a nose. However, if you are told that each of the two has a mole on the forehead, it will not be too difficult to single them out. This is because "having a nose" is a feature common to almost everybody. But the description that each of two people has a mole on the forehead, an uncommon feature, is an important piece of information that can be used to establish a link between the two people. The kernel document method was initially applied to yeast genes. Intense, relatively long-standing analysis of yeast genetics has resulted in a large number of PubMed entries on these genes. Whether the kernel document method could be applied to other less abundantly represented genes, such as human genes, was not known. Here we will apply this method to human genes, and show that this method can indeed produce meaningful results when applied to human genes. A potential limitation of the original kernel document method is that only one kernel document is chosen for each gene. Many genes encode multi-functional proteins, and one kernel document might relate only to a certain aspect of the gene's many functions. We addressed this problem by selecting multiple kernel documents for a gene, so that any known function of the gene would be discussed in at least one of these kernel documents. Jenssen et al [ 2 ] took a different approach. They analyzed the titles and abstracts of MEDLINE records to look for co-occurrence of gene symbols. The results are available at PubGene http://www.pubgene.org. This approach is based on the assumption that if two gene symbols appear in the same MEDLINE record, the genes are likely to be related. Furthermore, the number of papers in which the pair of genes both appear is used to assess the strength of relationships between the two genes. Jenssen et al manually examined 1,000 randomly selected pairs from the network of genes that had been created using this method: the proportion of incorrect (biologically meaningless) pairs were 40% for the low-weight category and 29% for the high-weight category. The main advantage of this method in comparison with the kernel document method is that it avoids the difficulty of selecting an appropriate kernel document. However, this method cannot identify genes that are functionally related, but are not mentioned together in any MEDLINE abstract. Such implicit relationships between genes are inherently more interesting in the context of mechanism/pathway discovery by computation. In this paper, we employ a method that is based upon the kernel document concept, with several enhancements. First, instead of choosing one kernel document for each gene, we employ all of the reference articles cited for each gene symbol in OMIM. Admittedly, not all of these articles are good candidates for kernel documents. However, the reference articles cited under each OMIM entry are a set of documents selected by investigators familiar with the gene and are, therefore, related to the gene in some way. Furthermore, by a simple examination of the titles of the articles for keywords alluding to methods or techniques, many articles that would be likely to constitute false positives in this context are excluded. Second, instead of weighing each related article equally, a weight is calculated for each article that is related to two or more kernel documents. We call these articles "base vector documents", because eventually a kernel document will be represented by a vector whose elements are determined by whether it is related to a base vector document. The more kernel documents a base vector document is related to, the less its weight. Methods Data Preparation 1. Download the list of OMIM genes The OMIM gene list can be downloaded from NCBI http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/Omim/Index/genetable.html. This list is inserted into a relational database table, which consists of only two fields: the symbol of a gene, and the corresponding OMIM identification number (OMIMID). However, due to inconsistencies in gene naming and use conventions, several gene symbols may correspond to the same OMIMID. 2. Download the references cited under each OMIMID The reference papers listed under each OMIMID are then downloaded. Each distinct reference paper has a unique PubMed identification number (PMID). The titles of all such PubMed papers are also obtained. The data are stored in another table consisting of four fields, OMIMID, PMID, TITLE and KEEP. The first three fields are self-explanatory. KEEP is a flag indicating whether a particular PubMed paper should be treated as a kernel document. As indicated earlier, methodology papers are generally not good candidates for kernel documents. To reduce the number of such false positives, a list of keywords/phrases that include the commonly used methods and techniques is compiled. If the title of a paper includes any of the phrases in the list, the KEEP flag of the paper is turned off (set to zero). 3. Download the related documents We treat each reference paper whose KEEP flag is on as if it were a kernel document. The documents related to each of these reference papers can be obtained from NCBI http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/entrez/utils/pmneighbor.fcgi?pmidfepmid=PMID. A detailed description of the computational methods used by NCBI to identify related documents is available at http://www.ncbi.nim.nih.gov/PubMed/computation.html. The related documents (or neighbors) of a particular paper are listed according to their relevance to the paper. Documents that appear on the top of the list are more similar to the query than those appear near the bottom of the list. We keep only the PMIDs of the first 100 related documents in the list and the data are stored in another table, consisting of three fields, PMIDK (PMID of the kernel document), PMIDN (PMID of the related document or the neighbor), and RANK, a number from 1 to 100, indicating the place a document appear in the list of related documents. Obviously, for any PMIDK, RANK = 1 if PMIDN = PMIDK, this is because a document is always most similar to itself. Construction of Base Vectors Documents Using the data obtained in the previous section, the base vector documents are defined. These are the documents that are related to at least two other documents and are among the 50 top-ranking related documents of any document. The result is inserted into another database table that consists of three fields: 1. PMID, the PubMed identifier of the base vector document; 2. LINKED2, the number of kernel documents of which the specified document is a neighbor; and 3. WEIGHT, which is an indication of the importance of a base vector document in revealing the relevance between two kernel documents. The weight w i for a base vector document b i is calculated using the following equation: where n i is the number of related documents for b i and N is the total number of kernel documents. This weight measurement method is based upon information theory [ 3 ] , and is similar to the weight measure employed by Wilbur et al [ 4 ] to evaluate the significance of a specific keyword in determining the relatedness of two papers. Vector Representation of a Kernel Document Assuming that there are M base vectors documents, b 1 , b 2 , . . ., b M , and the weight of b i is w i , then any kernel document K can now be represented by a vector ( k 1 , k 2 ,..., k M ), with The norm || K || of a kernel document K , i.e., the length of the corresponding vector, can be calculated as follows: Calculation of Similarity Scores The cosine similarity score S ij of any two kernel documents K i , and K j can now be calculated: where and is the dot product of the two vectors K i and K j . S ij is between 0 and 1, i.e., 0 S ij 1. The closer S ij is to 1, the more similar two kernel documents K i and K j are. This is the most computationally intensive part of the calculation and the code is implemented in C. Once the similarity scores for all possible pairs of PMIDs are calculated, the scores are stored in a relational database table, and it is not necessary to recalculate the scores for subsequent queries. Gene Relationship The score S ij calculated for two kernel documents K i and K j does not directly reflect the relevance of two genes. To assess the functional relationship between two genes, gene symbols must be related to PMIDs. In order to identify the set of genes that are relevant to a query gene G, the PMIDs of all reference papers listed under the OMIMID for the query gene are obtained. Each of these reference papers, except any paper whose KEEP flag is turned off, is treated as a kernel document. There are several considerations that support this approach to selection of kernel documents: The reference papers listed under each OMIMID were selected specifically because of their relevance to the corresponding gene; The titles of these papers were screened to exclude those that describe commonly used methods or techniques in order to reduce the number of "false positives"; The process can be fully automated to avoid manually selecting kernel documents. An interface is provided to allow the user to "fine-tune" the query by manually selecting only some of the reference papers as kernel documents. Next, all documents (represented by their PMIDs) that are related to each kernel document with a score higher than a specified threshold are identified. The OMIMIDs that have cited papers with any of these PMIDs are collected. Finally, these OMIMIDs are connected to their respective gene symbols. The entire process is shown in Figure 1. User Interface A user interface is available at http://gene.cpmc.columbia.edu/cgi-bin/gene.cgi. Once the gene symbol and a cutoff score (i.e., the cosine similarity score between two kernel documents that correspond to respective genes) are entered, a list of reference papers cited in OMIM for the gene is displayed. Only those papers whose KEEP flag is turned on are shown. The user may select specific paper(s) from the list as kernel documents, or simply check the "Check All" box to use all these papers as kernel documents. Once the submit button is clicked, the genes with scores higher than the cutoff score are displayed. Results Summary of Raw Data At the time when the raw data were downloaded in July 2001, there were 11251 gene symbols in the OMIM gene list, corresponding to 7192 distinct OMIMIDs. Multiple gene symbols may have the same OMIMID because many genes have aliases, resulting in several symbols referring to the same gene. Among the 7192 distinct OMIMIDs, 7085 cite reference paper with PMIDs, and 107 (about 1.5%) OMIMIDs do not cite any reference paper, or only cite reference papers whose PMIDs are not specified in OMIM. 54024 reference papers are listed under the 7085 distinct OMIMIDs. Some papers are referenced under several OMIMIDs, therefore, the actual number of distinct PMIDs is 47428. The title of the corresponding document for each of these 47428 PMIDs is also obtained. After screening the titles using the method described earlier, the KEEP flags of 3680 documents (about 7.8%) were turned off. Ultimately, only those 43748 documents whose KEEP flags are turned on will be used as kernel documents. However, we initially treat all 47428 documents as kernel documents, allowing us to estimate the extent to which these documents whose KEEP flags are turned off contribute to false positives. For each of the 47428 distinct PMIDs, the related documents ("neighbors") are obtained from NCBI. As indicated earlier, only the first 100 PMIDs of the list of related documents are stored, because they are the ones most related to the kernel document. The highest ranking neighbor of any document is, of course, itself. This search resulted in 4629037 pairs of neighbors, a number that would be much larger if all, instead of only the top 100, neighbors of a document are kept. Summary of Results of Calculation The preliminary search identified 437382 base vector documents. Any of these documents is a neighbor of at least two kernel documents. On average, a base vector document is related to 9.1 kernel documents. The average weight of the base vector documents is of 13.13, the maximum weight is 14.53, which corresponds to those base vector documents that are only related to two kernel documents; the minimum weight is 4.66, which corresponds to a base vector document with 1873 neighbors. As described in the Methods section, the weight of a base vector document indicates how much information is conveyed about the relevance of two kernel documents by knowing that both of them are neighbors of this particular base vector document. The more kernel documents a base vector document is related to, the less its weight. Figure 2shows this relationship. For example, a base vector document that is related to 740 kernel documents has a weight of 6, only half of the weight of a document that is related to 12 kernel documents. Next, the norm of each kernel document is calculated. There are 95 kernel documents with a norm of zero. These documents do not have any neighbor that is one of the base vector documents. As a result, only 47333 kernel documents are left. Finally, the cosine similarity score of each pair of kernel documents is calculated. A document is treated as a kernel document if its KEEP flag is on and its norm is greater than zero. There are 43658 such documents. Out of the 43658(43658-1)/2 = 952988653 possible pairs, only 6596918 (about 0.7%) have a similarity score that is greater than zero, indicating some relationship between the two kernel documents of the pair. The average score is 0.04. However, if both documents of a pair are listed as references under the same OMIMID, the average score is 0.14, which is much higher than the overall average score. This difference is expected because the documents listed under the same OMIMID have been selected because they all have some relationship to the gene that corresponds to the OMIMID. Furthermore, this average score also provides an indication of the approximate value of the threshold score that should be used to decide whether two kernel documents are closely related. Documents that discuss methods or techniques are not included when the similarity scores are calculated, because these documents can lead to false positives - a pair of genes with a high score that are functionally unrelated. To investigate the impact of such documents, we intentionally included them in the calculation of the scores. Excluding these documents when responding to a query is straightfoward, one needs only to check the KEEP flag of a document. The average similarity score of any pair in which both documents have a turned-off KEEP flag is 0.11, much higher than the overall average score 0.04 and close to the average score among a pair of documents referenced by the same OMIMID, i.e., 0.14. This result indicates that these documents should be excluded from calculations designed to find functional relationships. Although documents that are likely to cause false positive have been excluded by the automated screening process described above, the screened set of documents may still include many that are not optimal kernel document candidates. A solution to this is to actually let the users select specific kernel documents from a list of documents. An Example As an illustration, we use this computational strategy to identify genes related to the apoptosis (programmed cell death) pathway in human. A brief recent review of this pathway has been given by DeFrancesco [ 9 ] . To use this strategy, it is necessary to have a gene to start with. This is usually a gene that is known to be associated with the pathway or function of interest. Usually, such a gene is known to the user who submits the query. If necessary, one can also perform a preliminary search of PubMed for the functions or processes of interest in order to obtain the name of a gene to start with. We start with APAF1, a gene known to be involved in the apoptosis pathway [ 8 ] . A cutoff score of 0.2 is employed, and all reference papers cited in OMIM for this gene are used as kernel documents. The analysis identified the list of related genes displayed in Table 1. CASP1, CAPS2 and CASP3 all belong to the family of apoptosis-related cysteine proteases. Caspase activation is a key regulatory step for apoptosis [ 10 11 ] . DIABLO, also known as SMAC (second mitochondria-derived activator of caspase), promotes caspase activation in a cytochrome c-APAF1-CASP9 pathway [ 5 ] . The identification of XK and ABC3 is more interesting, because they are not well recognized as components of the apoptosis pathway. In order to identify the process by which XK was included, we retrace the search path to find the two original kernel documents that related APAF1 to XK. They are: "Apaf-1, a human protein homologous to C. elegans CED-4, participates in cytochrome c-dependent activation of caspase-3" (PMID: 9267021), a paper linked to APAF1; and "The ced-8 gene controls the timing of programmed cell death in C. elegans" (PMID: 10882128), a paper linked to XK. XK is a Kell blood group precursor. Stanfield et al [ 6 ] noted that 458-amino acid CED8 transmembrane protein of C. elegans is weakly similar to the human XK protein. The CED8 and XK proteins share 19% amino acid identity, have similar hydropathy plots, and both contain 10 hydrophobic predicted membrane-spanning segments. CED8 functions downstream of, or in parallel to, the regulatory cell death gene CED9, and may function as a cell death effector downstream of the caspase encoded by programmed cell death gene, CED3. APAF1 is known to share amino acid similarity with CED3 and CED4, a protein that is believed to initiate apoptosis in C. elegans. The gene ABC3 (ABC Transporter 3) is linked to APAF1 in a manner similar to that which connects XK to APAF1. It is reported that CED7 protein has sequence similarity to ABC transporters. CED7 functions in the engulfment of cell remnants during programmed cell death [ 7 ] . There was evidence that BCL2 is a homolog of CED9: CED9 encodes a 280 amino acid protein showing sequence and structural similarity to BCL2 [ 12 ] . BCL2 is involved in programmed cell death [ 9 ] . A secondary search can be performed with each of the genes in Table 1. Usually, more stringent criteria is required for secondary searches because the genes used for secondary queries often have other functions not related to the one of interest. Kernel documents need to be selected more carefully, and a higher cut-off score might be used. For example, for XK, if all papers cited in OMIM for the particular gene are used as kernel documents, there are many high-score hits that do not seem to be directly linked to apoptosis. Among the kernel document candidates for XK, the title of only one of the papers mentions programmed cell death. The majority of papers discusses McLeod syndrome, which is associated with XK, but has no recognized relationship with apoptosis. Therefore, further inspection is necessary to determine whether these hits are really linked to the apoptosis pathway. To simplify the process and obtain better results, instead using all reference papers cited in OMIM for each of these genes, we manually select kernel documents from the list of OMIM reference papers for these secondary searches, using the interface described before. For example, in a list of more than 20 papers cited for XK, we choose only one paper, titled "The ced-8 gene controls the timing of programmed cell death in C. elegans". With the results of the initial and secondary searches, a network of genes nominally associated with apoptosis can be built. The network is shown in Figure 3. If necessary, further searches can be performed with the hits from a previous search, so that the network can be expanded to include more genes. Discussion The similarity score is the only criterion used to determine whether two documents are related. Any two documents with a similarity score above the cutoff score are considered to be related. Here we discuss how the cutoff score should be determined. To this end, it is necessary to investigate how the distribution of similarity scores differs between related and unrelated document pairs. To simplify the problem, we assume that any two documents that are listed as references under the same OMIMID are related, and that the distribution between such documents approximates the distribution between two related documents. For any two documents that are not listed under the same OMIMID, it is reasonable to assume that they are unrelated, because the vast majority of such documents are, in fact, unrelated. Therefore, we assign the score distribution for unrelated documents to such pairs. It should be emphasized that this assumption is an approximation. Indeed, the most interesting documents are those documents that are not listed under the same OMIMID, but are found through analysis to be related. However, this assumption makes finding the distribution of similarity scores among unrelated documents much easier. Table 2is a summary of the score distributions of related and unrelated document pairs. Note that for unrelated documents, 75% of the scores are less than 0.03087, while for related documents, only 25% of the scores are less than 0.03027. The probability P ( S > S cutoff ) of the score S being greater than a cutoff score, S cutoff , can be easily found: where N ( S S cutoff ) is the number of document pairs whose similarity score is not greater than the cutoff score, and N is the total number of such pairs. P ( S > S cutoff ) was calculated separately for those pairs in which both documents were listed under the same OMIMID, i.e., the "related documents" according to the assumption above, and for those pairs in which the two documents were not listed under the same OMIMID, i.e., the "unrelated documents" corresponding to our definitions. The results are shown in Figure 4. The solid curve is the probability P ( S > S cutoff ) for related document pairs (true positives), the dotted curve is the probability P(S > S cutoff ) for unrelated document pairs (false positives). Using a cutoff score of 0.05, about 61% of the related documents will be accepted; these documents are true positives. About 39% of the related documents will be rejected; these are the false negatives. Only 14% of the unrelated documents will be accepted; these are the false positives. And, 86% of the unrelated documents will be rejected, these are the true negatives. Based on these results, the sensitivity and specificity of the search can be calculated. The sensitivity is the proportion of related document pairs that are about the cutoff score, and therefore are accepted. Therefore, the solid curve in Figure 4is also the sensitivity curve. The specificity is the proportion of unrelated documents that are below the cutoff score, and therefore are rejected. Specificity is equal to 1 - P ( S > S cutoff ), where P ( S > S cutoff ) is the proportion of unrelated document pairs that are above the cutoff score S cutoff . In Figure 4, the dashed curve is the specificity curve. Figure 4can be used to determine what cutoff score to use for any specific purpose. For example, using a high cutoff score such as 0.2, the specificity will be 0.985, corresponding to a false positive rate of only 1.5%. However, the corresponding sensitivity is 0.248, so that above three quarters of the related documents will also be rejected. On the other hand, choosing a low cutoff score will result in many false positives, while ensuring that most related documents are accepted. Using a cutoff score of 0.03, both the sensitivity and specificity will be around 0.75. However, because there are often many more unrelated documents than related documents, the search result will still contain many false positives. By referring to Figure 4, users can select a cutoff score that is best suited to their needs. Conclusions The key to the success of the kernel document method is the selection of the kernel documents. However, this is also the most difficult and tedious part of the implementation. An efficient way to select the kernel documents related to gene function is necessary for a large-scale literature mining effort using this method. We started with all of the reference papers listed in OMIM, and applied a filter to exclude those papers that are likely to focus primarily on methods and techniques. We can either treat the rest of papers as kernel documents, or allow the user to select kernel documents from this small pool of papers (usually contain around a dozen papers). This process can be fully automated. Furthermore, since we are not limited to one kernel document per gene, a gene can correspond to multiple kernel documents that capture different aspects of its functions. This characteristic of the strategy makes it possible to identify genes that are related to the query gene through a variety of functional mechanisms. In distinction to the gene co-occurrence method used by Jenssen et al, this approach does not require the symbols of two gene to appear in the title or abstract of the same paper in order to establish a relationship between them. As long as similar or related functions of the two genes are described in the literature, the relationship between the two genes is likely to be revealed. Furthermore, it is easier to identify the related functions of these genes because they are precisely those functions that related one gene to another by computation. While the co-occurrence method is biased towards revealing gene relationships that have been explicitly described in the literature, the method we propose is more sensitive to implicit relationships between two genes that have not necessarily been explicitly identified. The process of selecting kernel documents can also be improved by taking advantage of user feedback in a networked environment. For example, the user can be allowed to select kernel documents from a list of candidate papers. The papers selected most frequently by users can then be used as the bases for subsequent automatic kernel document selection in searches related to a specific gene or pathway. Finally, it is important to take note of the limitation of literature mining tools: two genes could be found to be related for many reasons, some of which might not be biologically meaningful. The identified relationships could therefore have different biological meanings, if any. Further investigation is always necessary to determine the origin of such relatedness. However, bibiliographic data mining efforts such as ours could shed light on the less obvious relationships between two genes. When considered in conjunction with other data, such as gene expression profiles, the results could lead to biologically meaningful conclusions. Background Step 1 Identify the unique symbols in the analyzed sequences. For a nucleotide sequence the unique symbols would be A, G, C, and T for the four nucleotides found in DNA sequences. Step 2 Map each symbol to a unique corner in the unit hypercube. The dimension of the unit hypercube, n , is chosen as the upper integer of log 2 ( uu ) where uu is the number of unique symbols. Therefore n has the value of 2 for DNA and 5 for proteins. For each symbol mapped in such a way, let u s j be the j th coordinate of the corner of the hypercube to which symbol s is mapped. For DNA one possible mapping is u A = [0,0], u C = [0,1], u G = [1,0], and u T = [1,1]. There are sparser implementations of USM that may use values of n up to the number of unique units, uu , as detailed in the original proposition [ 4 ] . However, those solutions are not essentially different and the implementation presented here can be straightforwardly ported to sparser USM representations. Step 3 Iteratively generate the forward USM coordinates for each of the k symbols and each of the n coordinates as follows Step 4 Iteratively generate the backward USM coordinates for each symbol and each coordinate as follows The given procedure results in the 2 n USM coordinates for each of the k symbols in the transformed sequence. The similarity of two sequences at any pair of symbols can be measured using the distance measure defined by Almeida and Vinga [ 4 ] . The measure is defined by D = d f ( a i b j ) + d b ( a i b j ) (3) where Almeida and Vinga present the distance measure as an estimator of the length of the similar segment containing the compared symbols. They also note that the measure, as defined, necessarily overestimates the length of these segments. As can be seen in the USM procedure, each symbol in the sequence is encoded as a set of USM coordinates. These coordinates are constructed in such a way as to encode the symbol itself as well as the preceding symbols (forward coordinates) and following symbols (backward coordinates). Scale independence is a property of this representation that allows the complete recovery of the encompassing sequence (preceding and following symbols) from the USM coordinates of any symbol in the sequence to any resolution (any scale) up to the complete length of the sequence. In practical implementations we are faced with the limitations of finite word length representations of USM coordinates. In these implementations our ability to recover the encompassing sequence is bounded by the word length of the coordinate representation. For this reason, we refer to USM and bUSM implementations with finite precision coordinates as bounded scale independent representations. In this paper we consider the implementation of the USM algorithm and propose a modification to Almeida and Vinga's approach [ 4 ] that eliminates the overestimation and allows determination of similar segment lengths of bounded length and offer an algorithm for overcoming the bounded length restriction. Results Source of the USM distance metric over-estimation The application of USM as a tool for measuring scale-independent discrete sequence similarity and its particular application to genomics and proteomics exploits a distance metric providing an estimate of the length of similar regions surrounding a pair of symbols. In the approach presented by Almeida and Vinga, this distance metric is shown to overestimate the true length of the similar segment. We propose a variation on their approach that retains the distance property, eliminates the over-estimation, and uses more computationally efficient operations. We begin this discussion by first providing a more complete proof of the distribution of overestimation in the unidirectional USM. This proof aids in the illumination of the source of the over-estimation. The USM distance metric estimates the length of ungapped identical segments in the region surrounding the symbols being compared. As such, we now consider two sequences, V and W with k symbols in agreement starting at symbol indices m v and m w respectively. From the definition of the USM recursion (Equation 1) we can see that the j thcoordinate at the k thstep can also be written as Where the is the j thcoordinate of the k thsymbol and the are determined by the initial values of the coordinates. These values are assigned in the initialization step of the USM encoding process. We write a coordinate of the sequence at the m v thand m w thstep in the recursion as: These representations are given as three summations corresponding to the k symbols in agreement, the symbols preceding the similar segment back to the beginning of each sequence, and the initial value of the coordinate. From our definition of these sequences ( k most recent symbols in agreement) we see that that the first terms (first summation) in each of the expressions are equal. We can factor a common term from each of the remaining two summations giving By change of index we get We let , , and for the non-similar segment be independent Bernoulli random variables with p = 1/2. The term in brackets is recognized as a uniformly distributed random value on [0,1). We can rewrite USMv and USMw as follows Where Rv j and Rw j are uniformly distributed on [0,1). Next consider the differences between the USM coordinates for each of these sequences. The terms in the similar segment are eliminated and the difference becomes a scaled difference between two uniformly distributed random variables. The scale factor of this difference gives the length of the similar segment. The unidirectional distance metric given by Almeida and Vinga is defined as d = -log 2 (max| USM j |) for j = 1.. n (12) where n is the number of coordinates in the USM vector. Exploiting the fact that log is monotone increasing we substitute our expression for the USM difference and write d as: where R j = | Rv j - Rw j |. The overestimation is given by . Since Rv j and Rw j are uniformly distributed on [0,1), the distribution of R j is given by: And the associated cumulative distribution is given by: Therefore for n independent coordinates distributed as defined, the distribution for the maximum is P ( R max r ) = P ( R 1 r , R 2 r ,..., R n r ) = ( P ( R r )) n = ( r (2 - r )) n (16) Under the transformation ( r ) = -log 2 ( r ) (17) the distribution of can be determined as follows This confirms the result originally reported by Almeida and Vinga [ 4 ] . We see from this derivation that the exact length of the similar segment, given by k , is determined by the exponent of the common factor of 1/2 factored from the non-similar segment. The remaining factor in that term constitutes the overestimation. Overestimation is, therefore, determined by the difference between terms in the series representation of the maximum coordinate difference beyond the similar segment. The symbol sequence encoded in this portion of the coordinate provides no information as to the length of the similar segment and so we wish to eliminate its effect on the estimation of the similar length. Boolean USMs It is clear from the discussion above that overestimation of the length of similar segments by USM results from contributions to the coordinate difference from terms in the coordinate summation preceding the similar segment. This effect is due to the use of an arithmetic difference in the computation of Almeida and Vinga's distance metric. Consider the following example where R a and R b are the uniformly distributed random values on [0,1) described in the previous derivation. Finite length coordinates are used here for illustration purposes. These two quantities must differ in the most significant position but are not constrained in the remaining terms. In this example we see that for the least significant subtraction to occur, the difference must borrow from the next more significant term. The borrow propagates the length of the sum and the length is overestimated, in this case, by 5. The overestimation is therefore, due to the interaction of the symbols prior to the first symbol at which the sequences differ. We propose a variation on the USM encoding and difference metric in which arithmetic operations (subtraction, maximum, and base 2 logarithm) are replaced with equivalent Boolean operations in which the values of individual terms in the above expression do not interact. We now present the proposed change of arithmetic. Consider the following representation of a bUSM (Boolean USM) coordinate c = R i a i where a i {0,1} (20) Where represents the bit-wise logical OR of a series of terms and R i is the right shift operator repeated i times. The value c is then an infinite bit representation that encodes one bit from each symbol in the encoded sequence. The bUSM recursion is then written as The representation of a coordinate of the USM after the k thstep of the recursion is given by Again, consider two sequences, V and W , as defined previously. We write the coordinates of these sequences at the m v thand m w thstep in the recursion as: As before, we break the representation into three terms; one representing the similar segment, one representing terms prior to the similar segment, and one representing the initial value of the coordinate. The proposed recursion replaces division by 2 with a right shift operation and addition with a bit-wise logical OR. Resulting coordinates are histories of one bit of the symbols preceding the encoded symbol with the most recent symbol's bit stored in the left-most bit position (most significant position). Given the proposed coordinate representation and recursion, we now examine the bit-wise binary equivalent to the computation of the distance metric. Consider the exclusive OR of the coordinates of two symbols being compared. The exclusive OR operation yields true (bit is set) if the bits differ and false (bit is not set) otherwise. Based on our definition of sequences V and W none of the bits in the similar segment of the newly defined bUSM coordinate difference are set and the first bit beyond the similar segment must be set. The exact length of the similar segment is given by one less than the position of the left-most set bit in the set of coordinate differences. Under the original approach, the maximum of the differences across all coordinates is taken prior to computing the base 2 logarithm. Under the proposed approach we replace this operation with the bit-wise OR of the differences across all coordinates. The left-most bit set in the result corresponds to the bUSM coordinate that determines the length of the similar segment (equivalent to the coordinate winning the max operation in the standard USM). The computation of the distance metric in the original approach employs a base-2 logarithm. Under the proposed approach we substitute the logarithm with a scan for the position of the most significant bit set in the bit-wise OR of the coordinate differences. By forming both the forward and reverse bUSM coordinates and adding the forward and backward distances, the exact length of the similar segment can be determined for all pairs within the segment. For the standard USM, initial values for coordinates are taken as random draws on [0,1). This allows the statistical properties of the overestimation to remain consistent at the beginning and end of the sequences. The Boolean USM does not overestimate the similar length and we must, therefore, reexamine the initialization approach so as to preserve the determination of exact lengths at the beginning and end of the sequences. This can be accomplished through the addition of two unique symbols, a tail symbol for sequence V and a tail symbol for sequence W. The use of two special symbols to mark the ends of the sequences results in no change to the recursion or similar segment length determination. It does impact the initialization and possibly the computational costs due to a potential increase in the number of coordinates required to represent the alphabet and the tail symbols. The addition of two extra symbols will, in some cases, increase the number of coordinates required. If, for example, an alphabet of 4 is required, the addition of two symbols increases the number of coordinates from 2 to 3. If, however, an alphabet of 20 is required, the addition of two symbols results in no increase in the number of coordinates. Naturally, this would not ever happen for a sparse implementation of USM, where n = uu [ 4 ] , and, consequently, the number of coordinates increases with every new symbol. Nevertheless, this would not, in any way, change the bUSM proposition as the sole difference between sparse and compact representations concerns the binary representation of each symbol, u j = 1,..., uu . It is noteworthy, however, that the incentive to use sparser USM representations, which is the smaller extent of over-determination, does not exist for bUSM, where determination of length unit identity is exact, as shown below. The initial value of the Boolean USM coordinates for sequence V are set to indicate that an occurrence of the sequence V tail symbol precedes the first symbol in V. An instance of the tail symbol is also added to the end of the sequence (follows the last symbol in V). The initial value for sequence W's coordinates are set similarly using the sequence W tail symbol. Since tail symbols differ from each other and from all non-tail symbols, similar regions will be terminated at the beginning and end of the sequence and exact distances will be determined as required. Both forms of the USM coordinates can be considered a form of embedding and reorientation of the sequence data as illustrated in Figure 1. Instead of coding the information as a sequence of symbol codes, we code it as a collection of coordinates containing one code bit for each symbol in the sequence. Each USM coordinate stores one bit for each symbol preceding (forward coordinates) or following (backward coordinates) the symbol associated with the coordinate. The sequence of coordinates redundantly embeds the symbols surrounding the current symbol. The standard USM coordinates can be directly obtained from the bUSM form by interpreting the bUSM coordinates as block floating point representations of the USM coordinates with the binary decimal point set to the left of the most significant bit. Dividing the unsigned word representation of the bUSM coordinate by 2 W , where W is the word length, yields the equivalent standard USM coordinate with W symbols of precision. We also recognize that for both the standard and Boolean USM coordinates, the determination of similar segment lengths is limited by the length (or precision) of the word used to represent the coordinate. The original implementation of the standard USM was created in Matlab and used 64-bit floating point coordinates. As such, lengths for similar segments longer than 53 symbols (IEEE 754 format provides 53 bits of precision [ 5 ] ) cannot be determined. The bUSM coordinates are similarly limited. The comparable implementation encodes bUSM coordinates in 64-bit fixed point representations and so exact similar segment lengths up to a maximum length of 63 can be determined. Overcoming finite word length limitations In theory, USM encoded sequences could be used to detect arbitrarily long similar segments. Previously we discuss the constraint imposed by finite-length binary representations of USM and bUSM coordinates. An algorithm for overcoming this limitation will now be presented. First we define the following two functions Under the finite word length limitation we note that d f and d b , the true forward and backward distances, cannot be determined from a single symbol pair comparison. We define two new functions and which can be determined from W -bit coordinate representations. These functions provide the length of similar segments up to the length of the underlying representation W . The true length of the forward and backward similar segments are returned for lengths less than W and the word length is returned otherwise. Next we present the following recursive functions The functions D f and D b recursively locate the end of the similar segment by stepping backward ( D f ) and forward ( D b ) through the similar segment until the end of the region is detected. The exact forward and backward lengths of similar segments of arbitrary length can be determined from these recursions. If the similar segment extends to the end of the sequence, the recursion will terminate on the last step due to the tail symbols added to the beginning and end of the sequence. The exact length of the similar segment containing symbols v i and w j is given by The proposed recursive definition of similar segment length overcomes the finite word length limitation and provides a practical method for recovering exact distances for arbitrarily long similar segments. Performance comparisons Computational comparisons of the two approaches were performed using the C-code implementations developed as described in Methods. This comparison examines the performance gains achieved through the use of binary operations (shift, exclusive OR, OR, bit scan) as replacements for the equivalent functions in the standard USM (division by 2, subtraction, max, and log). Since the Boolean USM requires two additional symbols to represent the tail symbols for each of the sequences, three coordinates are required for each of the forward and reverse directions (six total). Four coordinates were required for the standard USM. Standard USM coordinates were stored as 64 bit floating point numbers and bUSM coordinates as 64 bit unsigned fixed point numbers. The standard and binary USM implementations were, therefore, limited to detecting similar segments up to lengths 53 and 63 respectively in a single comparison (not using the recursive distance algorithm). Elapsed execution time measurements were made for each of the 10 test cases and are presented in Table 1. For small sequence lengths (less than 10,000 symbols) the symbol-pair distance calculations for the binary USM achieved approximately 8.3 M comparisons per second on our test platform while the standard USM achieved rates of approximately 2.3 M comparisons per second. The binary USM approach was approximately 3.7 times the speed of the standard USM. For these small sequence test cases, the test application and the USM representations of the small sequences fit within the processor's on-chip cache (512 kilobytes). For cases where the USM encoded sequences exceed the cache size and require reads from main memory, the performance decreases as indicated for the larger cases (10,000 symbols and above). For these cases, the binary USM executes at 3.3 M comparisons per second and the standard USM at 1.7 M comparisons per second for a performance ratio of approximately 1.9. Two examples applying both the standard and binary USM approaches were prepared to illustrate the difference in results obtained from overestimated distance and exact similar segment length determination. The first case duplicates the example given by Almeida and Vinga. Phrases from the Wendy Cope poem were converted to standard and binary USM for each of the sequences. The pair-wise comparisons were performed using both approaches and the results are shown as pixel maps (Figure 2). In these pixel maps, brighter regions indicate higher distance values and should correspond to symbol pairs found in similar segments. It is clear from the images in this figure that the major similar segments (lengths 7, 9, and 11) are clearly visible in both images. However, the exact distances in the Boolean USM image clearly show the shorter segments (lengths 3, 4, and 5) that are somewhat hidden by the standard USM overestimation error (Figure 2A). A similar illustration is provided using a sample nucleotide sequence. The sequence coding the human insulin receptor was acquired through NCBI (XM_048346, INSR) and used in a BLAST search for similar sequences. The second sequence (M69243, CTK-1) was taken from that list. A 100 nucleotide segment of the of the human insulin receptor (XM_048346, 3056-3155) associated with the predicted tyrosine kinase domain and a 100 nucleotide segment from the chicken tyrosine kinase (M69243, 51-150) were converted to standard USM and bUSM coordinates and pair-wise compared using the associated distance metrics. Pixel maps of the distance metrics were prepared (Figure 3). Again, the long similar segments are clearly visible in both images. The overestimation noise in the standard USM (image A) again masks many of the shorter similar segments seen in the Boolean USM (image B). Discussion Almeida and Vinga presented a fundamentally interesting and practically useful extension of the Chaos Game Representation iterative function (CGR) referred to as Universal Sequence Maps (USM) and demonstrated the application of this representation and an associated distance metric in the identification of similar segments of discrete sequences. In this report we have presented considerations for the practical implementation of these methods and offer an implementation of USM that 1) eliminates the overestimation of the length of similar segments, 2) eliminates the inability to recognize similar segments longer than the word length of the coordinate representation, 3) can be implemented with more efficient operations, and 4) provides a simple conversion that recovers the standard USM coordinates. As currently defined, the USM distance metric (and associated bUSM implementation) is limited to the estimation of lengths of local identity about the pair of symbols being compared. The nature of the overestimation by the unidirectional distance metric was revealed in a proof of the distribution of the overestimation from the standard method. The algebraic difference taken in computing the distance results in the overestimation of length. This observation leads to a modification of the algorithm that eliminates the interaction of symbols when computing distance. We also recognize, in this derivation, that to achieve this result we must assume that the i thcoordinates for the symbol representations are equally likely ( p = 1/2). The symbol coding selections for standard USM sequences must be balanced so as to make the occurrence of 1 and 0 in a standard USM coordinate equally likely for the given symbol set (and frequency of occurrence). This indicates that instead of choosing the first n binary representations of symbols as suggested in [ 4 ] , the symbols should be chosen from the 2 n possible values in such a way as to balance the occurrences of 1 and 0 for each coordinate. The Boolean USM approach places no constraints other than uniqueness on the symbol representation. The Boolean USM approach eliminates the overestimation problem noted in the standard USM and can recover more symbols than the standard approach for a given amount of storage. The binary approach is faster than the standard approach (based on a straightforward implementation) and offers the potential for further enhancement through, for example, the use of processor instructions designed specifically to find the first or last bit set in a word (e.g. Pentium Bit Scan Reverse (BSR) instruction [ 6 ] ). In our test cases the binary approach performed 1.9 to 3.7 times that of the standard approach even though it processed 6 (3 forward, 3 backward) rather than 4 (2 forward, 2 backward) coordinates. These measurements are specific to the test platform (processor, OS, compiler, etc.) and with optimizations these ratios will change considerably. The computational cost of preparing the coordinates is insignificant when compared to the cost of the distance calculations in cases we examined. This may, in part, be due to the fact that we performed N M comparisons for sequences of length N and M and with a minimum value for N or M of 1000. Since the storage requirements for a USM representation of a sequence are considerably larger than that of the sequence itself, it may be more efficient to store the sequence in its native form (a sequence of symbols) and compute the USM coordinates just prior to sequence comparison when a large number of comparisons are being performed. We also observed that the storage size of the coordinates had an impact on computational performance. The performance of the algorithm decreases sharply when the USM coordinate representation exceeds the on-chip cache of the processor. This may indicate that we should be considering tradeoffs between word length and the size of the similar segments we wish to detect without using the recursive length function. If, for example, the probability of sequences longer than 16 symbols is sufficiently small, then a 16 bit coordinate might be used. A single pairwise comparison grows as the upper integer of the base 2 logarithm of the number of unique symbols. Almeida and Vinga note that for a given length of interest w , we need to sample the distance metric at no more than N A N B / w indices to locate all sequences of length w or greater. In an application focused on locating all identical segments of length w or greater, the computational cost therefore grows as [log 2 ( nn )]( N A N B )/ w . The exact distance given in the binary approach allows us to locate, from this sampling, the beginning and end of the similar segment from the sampled symbol indices and the forward and reverse distances. Subtracting one less than the exact forward distance from the indices of the symbols being compared and adding one less than the exact backward distance from the indices we can identify the start and end of the similar segment containing the given symbol pair. The Boolean USM, offers this advantage due to its unique ability to determine the exact length of the similar segment. Conclusions USM representations of discrete sequences in genomics and proteomics offer the possibility of scale-independent representations of sequence information surrounding points of comparison in those sequences. In order to maximize the potential for application of these methods we must consider both their theoretical properties and the computational methods for efficient implementation that retain these properties. We have offered one further step in that direction by identifying a Boolean implementation of USM (bUSM) that not only preserves the theoretical properties of numerical USM but actually uses the binary environment of the computational implementation to achieve a more exact logical solution. The proposed implementation leads to a distance metric that exactly determines similarity length between sequences. Ultimately, this achievement can be described as one that replaces the determination of logarithmic, numerical distance, with computationally more efficient logic operations. It could then be argued that, given the discrete nature of biological sequences, new scale-independent numerical representations, such as USM, are all but the first step in the identification of more accurate Boolean equivalents of fundamental relevance. Methods Software implementation Test versions of both the standard USM and the Boolean USM algorithms were developed in order to facilitate performance comparisons of practical implementations. A single "generic" implementation of the framework for both methods was first developed and then used as the starting point for developing method-specific implementations. Care was taken so as to minimize differences in any code other than that implementing the recursion and the distance metric calculations. Programs were written in C and compiled and tested in the same environment (compiler, linker, libraries, and host) and executed against the same test cases. No attempt was made to optimize either implementation (beyond that performed by the compiler). Both applications were compiled using the GNU compiler (gcc version 2.95.3) under the cygwin environment http://www.cygwin.com/on a 1 GHz Pentium III-based system running Windows 2000. The source code, Makefiles, and test data are available from http://bioinformatics.musc.edu/resources.html. Software performance testing Test cases were produced by replicating two different 1 kbp segments of the e-coli genome to create 2 kbp, 3 kbp, 4 kbp, 5 kbp, 10 kbp, 15 kbp, 17 kbp, 20 kbp, and 40 kbp sequences. Each implementation is run as a separate program. The programs load the two sequences to be compared from disk, compute the USM (or bUSM) coordinates for all symbols in each sequence, and compute the local distance metric ( or ) for all pairs of symbols. Compute time was measured from the point following the load of the sequence from disk to the point at which all of the distance calculations were completed. Times were measured using the unix clock() function. Compute time was also measured from the point at which the USM coordinate calculations were completed to the end of the distance calculations. Acknowledgements The authors thankfully acknowledge support by the training grant 1-T15-LM07438-01 "training of toolmakers for Biomedical Informatics" by the National Library of Medicine of the National Institutes of Health, USA (NLM/NIH, http://www.nlm.nih.gov/ep/T15Training.html). Authors' contributions First author developed bolean implementation of Universal Sequence Map (bUSM). Second author, the original proponent of USM [ 4 ] identified theoretical context. Introduction c-fos is a member of the family of immediate early genes, and its transcription is transiently induced in response to mitogenic signals [ 1]. The serum response element (SRE) is located approximately 300 bp upstream of the transcriptional start site in the c-fos promoter and is necessary for serum induction of c-fos [ 2]. The SRE binds a transcription factor named serum response factor (SRF) which was found to be necessary, but not sufficient, for serum induction of the SRE [ 3, 4, 5]. In vivo footprinting analysis shows that SRF is constitutively bound to the SRE in both quiescent and growth factor stimulated cells [ 6]. This suggests that it is the transcriptional activation of a complex of SRF and its accessory proteins that is regulated rather than regulation of SRF DNA binding. The ternary complex factors (TCFs) are members of the ets family of transcription factors. The TCF family members Elk-1 [ 7], SAP-1 [ 8], and SAP-2/ERP/NET [ 9, 10] have been found to have a role in regulating the SRE. TCFs cannot bind the SRE autonomously, but require protein-protein interactions with SRF in order to bind the SRE [ 11, 12, 13, 14, 15]. The TCFs contain 3 conserved motifs termed the A, B, and C boxes [ 16]. The N-terminal A-box (amino acids (aa) 1-90 of Elk-1) is necessary to bind DNA, while the central B-box (aa 148-168) is the SRF interaction domain. The C-terminal C-box (aa 352-399), harboring the transactivation domain, contains several consensus mitogen activated protein kinase (MAPK) phosphorylation sites. Accordingly, the TCFs have been found to be targets of the Ras-Raf-MAPK signal transduction pathway [ 16]. In addition, the TCFs have been found to be targets for all three families of MAPKs: the extracellular signal-regulated kinases 1/2 (ERK1/2), the jun-N-terminal kinases/stress activated protein kinases (JNK/SAPK), and the p38 kinase [ 17, 18]. The transcriptional activity of the TCFs are stimulated by phosphorylation of the C-terminal MAPK sites [ 16, 17]. Another transcription factor that is involved in regulation of the c-fos SRE is CCAAT/Enhancer binding protein-beta (C/EBP). C/EBP (also known as NF-IL6, LAP, NF-M, AGP/EBP, and CRP2) is a member of the basic-leucine zipper family of transcription factors [ 19, 20]. The C/EBP mRNA contains three in-frame methionines which give rise to three different translation products: p38, p35, and p20-C/EBP [ 21]. p38 and p35-C/EBP both contain an N-terminal transactivation domain and a C-terminal DNA binding/dimerization domain. p20-C/EBP lacks the N-terminal transactivation domain and therefore acts as a repressor of transcription. Our lab has previously shown that p35-C/EBP activates an SRE-driven reporter construct while p20-C/EBP inhibits serum stimulation of the same reporter [ 22]. We have also shown that both p35-C/EBP and p20-C/EBP could interact with SRF in vivo and that the interaction between SRF and p35-C/EBP, but not between SRF and p20-C/EBP, is stimulated by activated Ras. The target for this Ras stimulation is Thr235 in a consensus MAPK site in C/EBP [ 23]. Therefore, C/EBP is a target of a Ras-dependent signaling pathway that regulates its interaction with SRF. Based on the observations that TCF factors as well as p35-C/EBP: (1) interact with SRF (2) transactivate the SRE and (3) are responsive to Ras-dependent signaling pathways, we tested the possibility that both TCF and p35-C/EBP are necessary for maximal induction of the SRE in response to mitogenic stimulation. In this study, we show that p35-C/EBP and the TCF family member Elk-1 synergize in transactivation of SRF dependent transcription of both a Gal4 dependent reporter and an SRE-driven reporter construct, but only in response to mitogenic stimulation by Ras. We further show that Elk-1 and p35-C/EBP interact in vitro in a glutathione-S-transferase (GST)-pulldown assay as well as in an in vivo coimmunoprecipitation assay. The in vivo interaction is dependent on the presence of activated Ras. Finally, we show that the C-terminal domain of C/EBP is sufficient to interact with Elk-1 while the N-terminal A-box of Elk-1 is necessary to interact with C/EBP. These results suggest a cooperative role between the TCF and C/EBP transcription factors in regulation of the c-fos SRE in response to Ras-dependent signaling pathways. Results Elk-1 and p35-C/EBP synergize in transactivation of a GAL4 dependent reporter Due to the common observations that both Elk-1 and p35-C/EBP transactivate the SRE, interact with SRF, and are responsive to Ras-dependent signaling pathways, we hypothesized that Elk-1 and p35-C/EBP may both be necessary for maximal induction of SRF dependent transcription. To begin to test this hypothesis, we used a GAL4 dependent reporter construct, in which a CAT reporter gene is driven by five copies of a GAL4 binding site upstream of the adenovirus E1B minimal promoter (pG5CAT). We constructed a GAL4 DNA binding domain-SRF fusion protein, as has been described previously [ 23]. GAL4-SRF binds to the GAL4 reporter construct, thereby making transcription of the reporter gene dependent on the presence of SRF. As shown in Fig. 1, when a GAL4-SRF fusion construct is transfected with the reporter, there is no increase in CAT activity. The SRF transactivation domain is weak, as has been shown previously [ 24]. When CMV-Elk-1 is cotransfected with the reporter and GAL4-SRF, there is little increase in CAT activity in the absence of activated Ras (CMV-Ras.V12). This result is expected since the transactivation domain of Elk-1 is activated in response to Ras. Therefore, when activated Ras is transfected with Elk-1, GAL4-SRF, and the reporter, the CAT activity increases to 8-fold over basal levels. We cannot determine if the increase in CAT activity in the presence of Ras also reflects a stimulation of the interaction of the Elk-1 and SRF proteins. When CMV-LAP (which encodes p35-C/EBP) is transfected with GAL4-SRF and the reporter construct, we see a 7-fold increase in CAT activity that is potentiated to 75-fold when activated Ras is cotransfected. Therefore, C/EBP results in a much larger increase in transcription than Elk-1. We have previously shown that Ras does not activate the transactivation domain of p35-C/EBP [ 23]. Thus, the increase in transcription in this assay is due to Ras stimulation of the SRF-p35-C/EBP interaction. Interestingly, when all three constructs - SRF, Elk-1, and p35-C/EBP-are cotransfected with the reporter construct, there is an average 260-fold increase in CAT activity in the presence of activated Ras. The values of fold activation varied from as low as 60-fold to as high as 725-fold over basal levels, and we are unsure of the reason for this variability. However, regardless of the extent of activation, in every experiment there was a synergy observed when both Elk-1 and p35-C/EBP are transfected in the presence of Ras. There is only a slight increase in CAT activity in the absence of Ras. Therefore, Elk-1 and p35-C/EBP are working synergistically to transactivate the reporter construct in the presence of SRF. This synergism is only observed in response to activation of mitogenic signaling pathways by Ras. Elk-1 and p35-C/EBP synergize in transactivation of the SRE Since Elk-1 and p35-C/EBP synergize in transactivation of SRF-dependent transcription using a GAL4-dependent promoter, we next tested if Elk-1 and p35-C/EBP could also synergize in transactivation of a native SRF binding site, namely the c-fos SRE. To test this possibility, NIH 3T3 cells were transiently transfected with a CAT reporter gene driven by one copy of the wild type SRE upstream of the Rous sarcoma virus long terminal repeat minimal promoter. As shown in Fig. 2, when p35-C/EBP is co-transfected with the reporter construct, there is a 13-fold increase in CAT activity in the absence of activated Ras that is increased to 24-fold when CMV-Ras.V12 is co-transfected. When CMV-Elk-1 is co-transfected with the SRE reporter construct, there is no additional stimulation in transactivation in either the absence or presence of Ras compared to the reporter alone. However, when both Elk-1 and p35-C/EBP are transfected with the SRE reporter construct, there is a synergistic effect in transactivation of the SRE, with a 72-fold increase in CAT activity over reporter construct alone. As was seen with the Gal4 reporter, this synergism is only observed in the presence of activated Ras. These data suggest that both Elk-1 and p35-C/EBP are necessary for maximal Ras-stimulated transactivation of the SRE. The TCF family member Elk-1 and C/EBP interact in vitro We next tested the possibility that there could be a direct protein-protein interaction between Elk-1 and p35-C/EBP based on the fact that they synergize in transactivation of the SRE. Therefore, we used a GST-pulldown assay to determine if the proteins could interact in vitro . p35-C/EBP was expressed as a chimeric GST protein and immobilized on glutathione-agarose beads. Beads containing GST-p35-C/EBP or GST alone were incubated with in vitro -translated Elk-1 labeled with [ 35S] methionine. As shown in Fig. 3, lane 2, approximately 35-45% of the input Elk-1 was retained on the GST-p35-C/EBP beads. A small amount of Elk-1 bound to the beads containing GST alone (Fig. 3, lane 3) which we have been unable to eliminate even after blocking with unprogrammed translation lysate. However, it is clear that the binding of Elk-1 is substantially increased when the GST-p35-C/EBP fusion protein is present on the beads. These data indicate that Elk-1 and p35-C/EBP are capable of interacting in vitro . Elk-1 and p35-C/EBP interact in vivo, but only in the presence of activated Ras Since we observed an in vitro interaction between the Elk-1 and C/EBP proteins, we next tested whether the proteins could interact in vivo as well. To do this, we used a co-immunoprecipitation approach. COS-7 cells were transfected with an expression vector for a 6X histidine tagged construct of p35-C/EBP carrying the 10 (T7 tag) epitope sequence either in the presence or absence of Elk-1. Cell lysates were incubated with T7 tag Ab agarose beads followed by immunoblotting of the precipitated proteins with Elk-1 Ab. As shown in Fig. 4, there is no Elk-1 protein precipitated with the tagged C/EBP protein when both are transfected (lane 5). However, since the synergism of Elk-1 and p35-C/EBP is observed when activated Ras is present, we thought it likely that the interaction between the two proteins could be Ras-dependent. Indeed, when activated Ras is co-transfected along with Elk-1 and histidine-tagged p35-C/EBP, the Elk-1 protein is precipitated with the p35-C/EBP (lane 6). One possible explanation for this result is that Ras increases the amount of p35-C/EBP or Elk-1 protein in the COS-7 cells, but Western blot analysis showed that both p35-C/EBP and Elk-1 protein levels are the same in the absence and presence of Ras (data not shown). Therefore, p35-C/EBP and Elk-1 interact in vivo , but only in response to activation of Ras-dependent signaling pathways. The C-terminal domain of C/EBP is necessary to interact with Elk-1 in vitro Since C/EBP and Elk-1 interact, we next wanted to narrow down the domains of the proteins that are required for their interaction. To determine the domain of C/EBP that is necessary to interact with Elk-1, a p20-C/EBP-GST fusion protein was constructed. p20-C/EBP encodes the 20 kDa form of C/EBP, which lacks the N-terminal transactivation domain of the longer p35-C/EBP isoform. This isoform, however, shares the C-terminal DNA binding and dimerization domain with p35-C/EBP. As shown in Fig. 5, approximately the same amount of [ 35S]-labeled Elk-1 is retained on both the GST-p20-C/EBP and GST-p35-C/EBP beads (compare lanes 2 and 3). Therefore, deletion of the N-terminus of C/EBP has no effect on its ability to interact with Elk-1. This data demonstrates that the C-terminal region of C/EBP is sufficient to mediate interaction with Elk-1 in vitro . The N-terminal A-box of Elk-1 is sufficient to interact with C/EBP in vitro In order to narrow down the domain of Elk-1 that is necessary to interact with C/EBP in vitro , we made several Elk-1 deletion mutants (Fig. 6A) and tested these constructs in a pulldown assay with GST-p35-C/EBP. Elk-1(1-209) is a C-terminal deletion mutant that lacks the C-box. Elk-1(1-140) is also a C-terminal deletion, but it lacks both the B- and C-boxes. Therefore, this mutant contains neither a transactivation domain nor an SRF binding domain. Finally, Elk-1(89-428) is a deletion of the N-terminal A-box. Glutathione agarose beads containing GST-p35-C/EBP or GST alone were incubated with in vitro -translated Elk-1 mutants labeled with [ 35S] methionine. As shown in Fig. 6B, the C-terminal Elk-1 mutants, Elk-1(1-209) and Elk-1(1-140), bound to the GST-p35-C/EBP beads to the same extent as wild-type Elk-1 (compare lane 3 of top 3 panels). However, the A-box deletion mutant, Elk-1(89-428), no longer binds to the GST-p35-C/EBP (lane 3, bottom panel). Therefore, this data demonstrates that the A-box of Elk-1 is necessary to interact with C/EBP in vitro . Discussion We have shown that the transcription factors Elk-1 and p35-C/EBP synergize in transactivation of SRF-dependent transcription using both GAL4 and SRE-driven reporter constructs. Interestingly, this synergy is only observed in response to mitogenic stimulation by Ras. We have also demonstrated that the Elk-1 and p35-C/EBP proteins interact using both in vitro GST-pulldown and in vivo coimmunoprecipitation assays. The in vivo interaction, however, is dependent on the presence of activated Ras. Finally, we demonstrate that the in vitro interaction domains of the two proteins are the C-terminal domain of C/EBP and the N-terminal domain of Elk-1. These results suggest a new mechanism for transactivation of the SRE, where a competent transcriptional complex consisting of at least SRF, TCF, and p35-C/EBP participate in transactivation in response to Ras. To this point, the TCF family members have been thought to be the main targets of Ras signaling to the SRE, and activation of TCF by Ras has been shown to result in transactivation of the SRE [ 16]. However, we show that Ras activation of TCF alone does not result in maximal SRE transactivation, but instead, is greatly enhanced in the presence of p35-C/EBP. SRF and TCF have been shown to form a ternary complex at the SRE in vitro . We as yet have not been able to observe a ternary complex between SRF and p35-C/EBP at the SRE in vitro . The mechanisms of SRE transactivation described above may help to explain the in vitro results. The C/EBP recognition site in the SRE is a weak binding site [ 25]. Upon activation of Ras-dependent signaling pathways, the presence of p35-C/EBP at the SRE would be stabilized due to its strong protein-protein interactions not only with SRF, as we have shown previously [ 23], but also with Elk-1. It is possible that p35-C/EBP and SRF are not sufficient to form a ternary complex with the SRE in vitro , but Elk-1 may also be necessary. In addition, it is likely that p35-C/EBP, Elk-1, or both, may need to be activated by one or more MAPK family members for a multiprotein complex to form with SRF at the SRE. Further studies utilizing the information from the in vivo studies performed here may permit us to optimize the in vitro conditions necessary to observe such a multiprotein complex. We observe a direct interaction between C/EBP and Elk-1 in a GST pulldown assay. Another ets family member, Ets-1, has previously been shown to interact with C/EBP in vitro [ 26]. We have not directly tested the ability of the other TCF famlily members, SAP1 and SAP2/ERP/NET, to interact with C/EBP. We find that the domain of Elk-1 that interacts with C/EBP is the ets domain, which is conserved among the other TCF family members [ 16]. We would therefore also expect SAP1 and SAP2/ERP/NET to interact with C/EBP. Interestingly, the in vivo interaction of Elk-1 and C/EBP is dependent on activation of Ras-dependent signaling pathways. The target(s) of the Ras signaling pathway is as yet unknown. It has been shown that transfection of activated Ras results in phosphorylation of Thr235 (numbering for human protein) in the C-terminal domain of C/EBP, and that Thr235 could be phosphorylated by a partially purified MAPK preparation in vitro [ 19]. We have also shown that this same residue is necessary for Ras stimultion of the interaction between C/EBP and SRF. Therefore, it will be interesting to determine if this site is also critical for stimulation of the interaction between C/EBP and Elk-1. Elk-1 also has several MAPK sites in its C-terminal domain, and therefore this region could also be a target for Ras. We are currently investigating the mechanism of the observed synergy between Elk-1 and p35-C/EBP. We have shown that C/EBP interacts with the A-box of Elk-1, while SRF has previously been shown to interact with the B-box [ 16]. Therefore, C/EBP and SRF interact with two distinct domains of Elk-1, as well as with each other, which could allow formation of a complex of the three transcription factors. This would create an active transcriptional complex at the SRE and result in enhanced transactivation. It is possible that the p35-C/EBP-SRF-Elk-1 complex could interact more strongly with coactivators and/or the basal transcriptional machinery than each individual transcription factor. It has been shown that SRF, TCF, and C/EBP can all interact with components of transcriptional machinery such as p300/CBP, SRC-1, and TFII-I [ 27, 28, 29, 30]. There is most likely a large protein complex assembled at the SRE composed of regulated transcription factors, coactivators, and the basal transcriptional machinery, resulting in rapid transcription of the c-fos gene in response to mitogenic stimulation. Conclusions This report demonstrates a new model for c-fos SRE activation in response to Ras-dependent signaling pathways. We show that SRF, Elk-1, and p35-C/EBP are all necessary for maximal Ras-stimulated transactivation of the SRE. Materials and Methods Cell Culture and Transfections NIH 3T3 fibroblasts (from the American Type Culture Collection) and COS-7 cells (kindly provided by Dr. S. Hann, Vanderbilt University) were grown in Dulbecco's Modified Eagle Medium (DMEM) with 10% calf serum (Colorado Serum Company), 0.22% sodium bicarbonate, 4 mM L-glutamine, 25 U of penicillin G sodium per mL, and 25 mg of streptomycin per mL. COS-7 cell transfections were performed by the calcium phosphate (CaPO 4 ) technique [ 31]. Cells at 60-70% confluence were exposed to the CaPO 4 -DNA precipitate for 8 h. The medium was removed and replaced with complete medium for 36 h before harvesting. NIH 3T3 transfections were performed using NovaFector (Venn Nova) or Trans-IT LT1 (PanVera) as described by the manufacturers. For NovaFector transfections, a 6:1 ratio of NovaFector:DNA was used for each transfection. Cells at 60-70% confluence were exposed to the NovaFector:DNA complex for 6-7 h in serum and antibiotic free medium. After the incubation, an equal volume of DMEM containing 20% calf serum was added for 24 h, bringing the final concentration of calf serum to 10%. Cells were then serum deprived for 36-40 h in DMEM supplemented as above except containing 0.5% calf serum before harvesting. For TransIT-LT1 transfections, a 6:1 ratio of TransIT-LT1:DNA was used in each transfection. Cells at 60-70% confluence were exposed to the TransIT-LT1:DNA complex for 8 h in complete medium plus freshly added 30 mg/mL polymyxin B antibiotic [ 32]. The medium was then removed and replaced with complete medium for 24 h. Cells were then serum deprived in DMEM containing 0.5% calf serum for 36-40 h before harvesting. Cell extracts were prepared and chloramphenicol acetyl transferase (CAT) assays were performed on extracts containing equivalent cell protein as previously described [ 33]. An internal control plasmid to measure transfection efficiency could not be used because C/EBP regulates transcrption from the control plasmid, and thus makes the internal control invalid. Therefore, the transfections were repeated multiple times to control for variability in transfection efficiency. Plasmids The pGAL4 and pG5CAT plasmids were obtained from the Mammalian MATCHMAKER Two-Hybrid Assay Kit (CLONTECH). pGAL4-SRF was constructed as previously described [ 23]. The SRE-CAT reporter gene was constructed as previously described [ 22]. pGST-p35-C/EBP was constructed by inserting the 1,739 bp EcoRI fragment from pRSETB-EFII [ 34] into EcoRI cut pGEX-4T-1 (Amersham-Pharmacia). pGST-p20-C/EBP was constructed by inserting the 581 bp BamHI/EcoRI fragment from pRsetA-LIP [ 34] into similarly digested pGEX4T-1. pcDNA3/Elk-1(1-209) and pcDNA3/Elk-1(1-140) were constructed by using the Erase-A-Base system (Promega) with pcDNA3/Elk-1 (gift of J. Schwartz, Univ. of Michigan) as described by the manufacturer. pcDNA3.1/His-p35-C/EBP was constructed by inserting an 1,739 bp EcoRI fragment from pRSETB-EFII into an EcoRI cut pcDNA3.1/HisC vector (Invitrogen). CMV-LAP was a gift of U. Schibler (Univ. of Geneva, Geneva, Switzerland) and CMV-Ras.V12 was a gift of E. Ruley (Vanderbilt Univ.). Analysis of ELK-1 and C/EBP interaction in vitro GST-p35-C/EBP, GST-p20-C/EBP, or GST alone was produced in BL21 E. Coli by 80 mM isopropyl--D-thiogalactopyranoside (IPTG) induction overnight at 37C. Cells were harvested by centrifugation and washed once with phosphate-buffered saline (PBS) containing the following protease inhibitors: 2 mg/ml aprotinin, 2 mg/ml leupeptin, 2 mM phenylmethylsulfonyl fluoride (PMSF), and 0.2 mM pepstatin. The bacteria were lysed by sonication at 4 oC in PBS containing the protease inhibitors described above. Triton X-100 was added to a final concentration of 0.1%, followed by gentle mixing for 30 min at 4C. The lysate was clarified at 12,000 g for 10 min at 4C. The supernatant was gently mixed with glutathione-sepharose beads (Amersham-Pharmacia) at 4C for 30 min. Beads containing GST proteins were collected by low speed centrifugation, followed by three successive washes with PBS containing 0.1% Triton X-100 and the protease inhibitors described above. The ELK-1, ELK-1(1-209), ELK-1(1-140), and ELK-1(89-428) proteins were transcribed and translated in vitro using the TNT T7 coupled reticulocyte lysate system (Promega) according to the manufacture's instructions. Translated proteins were radiolabeled with the EXPRE 35S 35S protein labeling mix (Dupont NEN). The GST-pulldown assay was done as previously described [ 22]. Co-Immunoprecipitation COS-7 cells were harvested in PBS containing 0.1 mM sodium vanadate and collected by low speed centrifugation. Cells were resuspended in lysis buffer (10 mM Tris (pH 7.5), 1 mM EDTA, 50 mM NaCl, 0.25% Nonidet P-40, 1 mM PMSF, 1 mg of aprotinin/mL, 0.1 mM sodium vanadate, 10 mM sodium molybdate, and 10 mM -glycerol phosphate) and lysed by sonication with a microtip on setting 2 and 20% duty cycle for 10 s. After clarification by centrifugation at 12,000 g for 10 min, the cell extract was incubated with T7 tag antibody (Ab)-agarose beads (Novagen) for 2 h. The beads were collected by low speed centrifugation and washed 3 times with lysis buffer. All steps were performed at 4C. After washing, the beads were boiled for 5 min in Laemmli sample buffer. Immunoblots The samples from the coimmunoprecipitations described above were analyzed by electrophoresis on an SDS-12% polyacrylamide gel for 3 h at 160 V. The gel was equilibrated in transfer buffer (33 mM Tris base, 192 mM glycine, 20% methanol) for 15 min before transfer of proteins to Immobilon-P membrane (Millipore Corp.). After transfer, an immunoblot was performed as described previously [ 22]. A 1:2000 dilution of anti-Elk-1 Ab (Santa Cruz Biotechnology) and a 1:5000 dilution of goat anti-rabbit secondary Ab (Roche Molecular Biochemicals) were used. The secondary Ab was detected using SuperSignal Chemiluminescent Substrate (Pierce). Abbreviations aa, amino acid; Ab, antibody; bp, base pair; CaPO 4 , calcium phosphate; C/EBP, CCAAT-enhancer binding protein-beta; CAT, chloramphenicol acetyl transferase; DMEM, Dulbecco's Modified Eagle Medium; GST, glutathione-S-transferase; MAPK, mitogen activated protein kinase; PBS, phosphate buffered saline; PMSF, phenylmethylsulfonyl fluoride; SRE, serum response element; SRF, serum response factor; TCF, ternary complex factor. Background Abnormal anterior segment development is often associated with elevated intraocular pressure (IOP), an important risk factor for the blinding disease glaucoma [ 1]. The anterior segment of the eye is filled with a clear fluid known as the aqueous humor or aqueous. Maintenance of IOP is dependent on a balance between aqueous formation and aqueous outflow. The primary source of aqueous is blood flowing through the arteries of the ciliary body [ 2]. The aqueous is secreted by the ciliary body into the posterior chamber between the iris and lens. It then flows into the anterior chamber, the space between the cornea and iris, before draining from the eye at the iridocorneal junction [ 3]. The iridocorneal junction is located in a region known as the iridocorneal angle because of the aqueous filled angular recess between the iris root and cornea. One drainage route consists of a trabecular meshwork (TM) of connective tissue covered by endothelial like trabecular cells and a Schlemm's canal (SC). The aqueous percolates through channels or intertrabecular spaces in the TM before entering SC. The fluid collected by SC drains into aqueous veins that connect to the canal. This route is generally accepted to be the major drainage pathway for the aqueous [ 3]. Egress via the loose connective tissue meshwork and blood vessels of the uvea (choroid, iris and ciliary body) and the outer wall of the eye (sclera) also contributes to aqueous drainage [ 3, 4]. Primary access of aqueous to the uveoscleral route is likely deep in the angle recess at the iridocorneal junction. The resistance to aqueous flow presented by the tissues of the TM, SC, and likely uvea and sclera are important determinants of the rate of aqueous outflow and IOP. The molecular mechanisms responsible for normal or abnormal development of the iridocorneal angle, its structures, and increased resistance to aqueous drainage in glaucoma are not well defined. Cell migration, proliferation, and differentiation are important for the development of this ocular region. Cells of the periocular mesenchyme migrate into the developing eye and differentiate into various anterior segment structures including components of the ciliary body, the TM, iris stroma, corneal endothelium and corneal stroma. The origin of the periocular mesenchyme was originally suggested to be the paraxial mesoderm [ 5]. Later fate mapping studies using quail-chick chimeras show extensive cranial neural crest contribution to this tissue [ 6, 7]. Based on these avian studies, the mammalian periocular mesenchyme is generally accepted as neural crest derived [ 8, 9]. Recent cell grafting and cell labeling studies of craniofacial morphogenesis in mouse embryos confirm a neural crest derivation of the mammalian periocular mesenchyme [ 10]. Additionally, however, they demonstrate the presence of cranial paraxial mesoderm-derived cells in this tissue. Thus, aberrations of both neural crest and mesoderm cell migration or differentiation may contribute to anterior segment dysgenesis and glaucoma. After the migrating mesenchymal cells reach the anterior margin of the developing optic cup they must form the tissues of the iridocorneal angle. The iridocorneal angle is initially occupied by a densely packed mass of mesenchymal cells. As TM development proceeds the cellular mass differentiates, organizes and develops channels to produce the mature meshwork. The developing TM and iris separate forming the deep angle recess through which the aqueous passes to access the TM. The mature meshwork consists of trabecular beams separated by intertrabecular spaces through which the aqueous percolates. The trabecular beams are covered on both surfaces by endothelial-like trabecular cells and the cores of the beams are composed of extracellular matrix components such as collagen and elastic tissue [ 11]. How the complex TM develops and how spaces form in the initially continuous cellular tissue is not clear. Several theories have attempted to explain the differentiation and morphogenesis of the mesenchyme that forms the tissues of the iridocorneal angle (see [ 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17]). Some of these theories propose atrophy or resorption of the mesenchyme as development progresses to create the structures and spaces important for aqueous drainage while others propose a reorganization of cells with no cell death or atrophy. Whether cell death or atrophy occurs during TM and iridocorneal angle development remains controversial. Cell death was prominent in rat, but not in monkey, human or dog eyes [ 17, 18, 19, 20, 21]. It is not clear if different mechanisms are important in rodents as compared to these other species, if there is something unusual about the studied rat strain, or if cell death occurs in the other species but was not detected due to inadequate tissue sampling or the stages analyzed. The mouse represents an important experimental model for understanding mammalian development and diseases caused by its abnormalities. In studied mammalian species, iridocorneal angle development is incomplete at birth. Although various studies have characterized in detail the prenatal development of the mouse eye there is very little published about the normal structure or postnatal development of the mouse iridocorneal angle [ 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27]. The aims of this work were to determine the developmental profile of the mouse iridocorneal angle to its mature form and to assess the role of cell death in modeling the angle recess and TM. We present a light and electron microscopic (EM) evaluation of iridocorneal angle development in staged embryos and through eight postnatal weeks, when the angle structures have reached full maturity. The mouse and human TM and SC have similar structures, and the developmental progression is similar except for the accelerated time frame in mice. Extensive use of light microscopy, EM and a cell death assay (on sections spanning complete eyes) failed to identify cell death at all tested ages in various mouse strains. These results substantiate models of iridocorneal angle mesenchymal differentiation and modeling that involve organization of cellular and extracellular matrix components without cell death or atrophy, and they suggest a conservation of developmental mechanisms between mice and non-rodent mammals. Results Prenatal development This study of the prenatal development of the C57BL/6J iridocorneal angle, essentially agrees with published reports of general ocular development for the strains CFI-S [ 24] and Ha/1CR [ 22]. Due to these previous reports, we will focus on the formation of the iridocorneal angle structures (see figure 2Afor location) with brief mention of the adjacent iris and cornea. Invagination of the optic vesicle to form the optic cup occurs around E10, as the lens vesicle is developing [ 22]. Shortly after the stalk of the lens vesicle disappears at E10.5, a few undifferentiated mesenchymal cells were present adjacent to the anterior margin of the optic cup. These were more prominent by E11.5 and were associated with blood vessels (Figure 2B) that become the source of the anterior vascular tunic of the lens as well as contributing to the future vascular supply of the iris and ciliary body. At this time, progenitor cells of the corneal stroma had migrated into the developing cornea (not shown). By E14.5, the anterior margin of the optic cup that ultimately forms the iris and ciliary body has started to advance indicating that the anterior uvea and iridocorneal angle were starting to form. The mesenchyme in the developing iridocorneal angle (angle mesenchyme) had produced a loosely arranged cluster of cells that was several cells thick and extended from the anterior edge of the optic cup to the anterior termination of the retina. These cells were characterized by plump oval nuclei with multiple nucleoli. There was no clear division between the mesenchyme of the posterior corneal surface and the angle mesenchyme because the cells remained undifferentiated (Figure 2C). By E16.5 the anterior margin of the optic cup had extended more anteriorly but no obvious differentiation into the iris and ciliary body had occurred. The angle mesenchyme was more densely packed and continuous with the mesenchyme extending onto the primitive iris that will become the iris stroma (Figure 2D). There was a clear separation between the developing iris and cornea, the first appearance of the iridocorneal angle recess (Figure 2D). There were no obvious differences between E16.5 and E18.5 except that the ciliary body had started to form as previously reported [ 22]. Postnatal development At birth (P0, 19.5 dpc), the angle mesenchyme was even more densely packed and the cells and their nuclei were more elongated and less rounded than at earlier stages (Figure 2E). The iris was more differentiated as evidenced by the fact that some of the cells destined to form the stroma had started to synthesize pigment and were, therefore, distinguishable from those of the future TM. The iris and ciliary body became separate as the ciliary processes continued to form (Figure 2E). The specialized basal lamina of the corneal endothelium (Descemet's membrane) was first evident at P2 to P4. By P4, the iris and ciliary body were well developed. Pigmented cells and blood vessels were clearly evident in the iris stroma and the ciliary processes were elongated and more numerous (Figure 2F). The future location of the TM was clearly indicated by an aggregation of cells with densely stained, plump fusiform nuclei that separated the developing ciliary body from the cornea (Figure 2F). The angle mesenchyme extended from the termination of Descemet's membrane to the posterior termination of the ciliary body by P8. These cells were less densely packed than at earlier stages (Figure 2G). Although not definitively identified in our P8 sections, at some locations there appeared to be small vascular channels present near the developing TM. The ciliary processes and iris had an apparently mature structure by P10. By this age, the anterior cells of the future TM had begun to separate, although the posterior cells remained closely packed (Figure 2H). The first clear indications of Schlemm's canal next to the developing TM were observed on P10 as multiple small endothelial-lined channels located in the inner sclera over the posterior aspect of the ciliary body, although this was best seen using transmission EM (see below). The presence or absence of these endothelial channels at this location varied with ocular region. The anterior TM had started to separate focally from the iris at P10, and this was more extensive at P12. The angle mesenchyme had further developed into beam like structures by P12 and, though small, more open spaces were apparent (Figure 2I). At P12 either endothelial-lined vessels or a more mature SC were present in most sections. By P14, further spaces had opened in the angle, especially anteriorly, and for the first time there was a consistent separation between the anterior TM and iris root, forming the deep angle recess (Figure 3A). At this age, a SC that extended from the posterior end of the ciliary body to a point slightly posterior to the end of Descemet's membrane was consistently observed in all ocular regions. Additionally, the separation of the iris away from the TM gave the appearance that SC and TM moved anteriorly. Giant vacuoles (structures important for aqueous movement from the TM to canal lumen) were clearly observed indicating that SC was functional at P14 (Figure 3A). By three weeks of age, SC had extended forward to the posterior termination of Descemet's membrane and large open spaces were present in the anterior TM. Fewer spaces were evident in the posterior TM (Figure 3B). Over the next few weeks, the spaces between the trabecular beams gradually became more open and extended further into the posterior TM. Depending on the mouse and ocular location, the iridocorneal angle and its structures typically reached their mature state by P35 to P42 (compare Figure 3Cand 3D). In the mature state, the intertrabecular spaces were always most prominent in the anterior aspect of the TM, and less so posteriorly (Figure 3Cand 3D). Other strains The postnatal developmental stages and time frame described above for B6 mice is essentially the same as that we observed for the A.BY/SnJ strain (not shown). There were no major differences in mature angle structure between mice of different backgrounds, and the anterior to posterior TM differences described for B6 were evident in all strains (Figure 3E-3H). The biggest difference between the studied backgrounds was a consistently more robust ciliary muscle in the 129BS mice. Electron microscopy To further understand iridocorneal angle development, we analyzed stages involving significant changes in the TM and SC using EM. Ultrastructural evaluation demonstrated that differentiation of the TM was well underway by P10. Trabecular beams were recognizable but not fully developed. The separation of individual trabecular beams had begun and extracellular matrix deposition was evident. While present, trabecular beam collagen was less abundant than in the mature eye, while elastic tissue was relatively more abundant (compare Figure 4Dand 4Eto Figure 5Fand 5G). The trabecular beams were more separated in the anterior than posterior TM. The presence of SC or its precursors varied with section level at P10. At some locations there were no traces of SC (Figure 4A) whereas at others it was relatively well formed with a thin endothelial lining (Figure 4B). No giant vacuoles were observed at this age. At other levels of section, the early SC had a more primitive vascular appearance (Figure 4C), consistent with its likely derivation from coalescing venules. At P14, spaces between the trabecular beams in the anterior TM were typically more prominent than at P10. The posterior TM remained relatively compressed compared to the anterior TM, with smaller intertrabecular spaces (Figure 5A, 5B). The extracellular matrix was more prominent than at P10 (compare Figure 5Ato Figure 4A). A well developed, endothelial-lined SC was consistently present at all levels (Figure 5B), although giant vacuoles were relatively infrequent compared to older ages. By P18, the intertrabecular spaces had enlarged to adult size even in some regions of the posterior TM and giant vacuoles were abundant (Figure 5C). Smooth muscle cells (Figure 5D) located near the inner wall of SC close to its posterior termination were first noted at P14. The major developmental changes had occurred by P18, with subsequent maturation primarily involving final enlargement of spaces in the posterior TM. In adult mice, SC was lined with attenuated endothelial cells and at low power several giant vacuoles were always present (Figure 5E). Giant vacuoles were evenly distributed along the entire length of Schlemm's canal. There were 3-4 trabecular beams in the anterior meshwork and 7-10 in the posterior meshwork. In the posterior adult meshwork, the extracellular matrix was more prominent and the intertrabecular spaces were smaller than anteriorly (Figure 5F, 5G). Absence of cell death in angle development Review of many sections examined by light microscopy did not identify dead or pyknotic cells at any age from PO to adult. Similar review of many sections by EM failed to demonstrate any cells that had necrotic or apoptotic morphology. This was true for multiple mouse strains (see Methods). It is probable that all normal cell death during development utilizes pathways of programmed cell death (PCD) [ 28]. To further investigate if cell death occurred in the developing iridocorneal angle, we used a fluorescent double labeling assay that identifies fragmented DNA using fluorescently labeled dUTP and detects chromatin condensation by binding of the dye YOYO-1. Cells were identified as apoptotic only when they were doubly labeled (Figure 6). This assay is more sensitive than light microscopy and allows more widespread testing than EM. As shown above, TM channel formation has started at P10 and is mostly complete around P18 to P20, with subtle changes extending to P35 to P42. Our assay investigated tissues that spanned most of this period (see Methods), including four time points in the critical period surrounding P10 to P18 (P10, P12, P14 and P18). The majority of the angle was assessed by analyzing many sections that were obtained at 20 m intervals throughout the eye. During differentiation from the trabecular anlage to a mature state, only 2 doubly labeled cells were identified in the angles of approximately 600 analyzed sections or approximately 120,000 analyzed TM and SC cells. One of these positive cells was located in the lumen of Schlemm's canal and was likely a blood cell. No apoptotic cells were detected in the ciliary body and iris. In contrast, apoptotic retinal ganglion cells (Figure 6) were frequently identified (often 2 or more apoptotic cells in a section) during the established period of developmental ganglion cell death (assessed between P10 and P21) and less abundantly afterwards. Testis sections served as additional positive controls with each batch of processed slides, and abundant apoptotic cells were always detected. As a final assessment of a role for cell death pathways, we determined whether absence of the FAS and FASL initiators of cell death alter iridocorneal angle development and morphology. Fas and FasL are expressed in the TM and a FAS-stimulating monoclonal antibody causes PCD of TM cells [ 29, 30]. We assessed five mice of each of the mutant strains B6.MRL- Fas lpr and B6Smn.C3H- Fasl gld , which respectively lack functional FAS and FASL. The eyes of mice lacking functional FAS or FASL were similar in appearance to eyes from age-matched B6 mice (not shown). This indicates that these pro-apoptotic molecules are not required for normal iridocorneal angle development. Discussion Sequence and timing of iridocorneal angle morphogenesis In this study, we describe the morphogenesis of the mouse iridocorneal angle from prenatal stages to maturity. Our findings extend those of previous studies that did not focus on the iridocorneal angle or did not study its development to maturity [ 22, 23, 24, 25, 26]. The sequence and timing of morphogenic events in the C57BL/6J and A.BY/SnJ mouse strains is summarized in Figure 1, and is similar to that for rats [ 31]. The sequence also is similar in humans. The major difference is the age at which specific developmental stages occur, beginning prenatally but extending to around P42 in mice and possibly to 8 postnatal years in humans [ 16, 19]. Briefly, in mice, migrating mesenchyme begins to fill the space between the anterior edge of the optic cup, the surface ectoderm and the lens vesicle at E11 to E12. Anlage formation appears complete by P4 to P6. Cell differentiation within the anlage has started by P8. Trabecular beams are recognizable but not fully developed at P10. SC is first evident around P10 and appears structurally mature around P14. Although SC is functional at this age, giant vacuoles are rare. By P18 to P21, the major developmental changes have occurred, and intertrabecular spaces have enlarged to adult size in the anterior TM and some parts of the posterior TM. Giant vacuoles become more abundant as spaces between the trabecular beams increase and are abundant at P18 to P21. After P18-P21, maturation primarily involves enlargement of spaces in the posterior TM. Participation of cell death in iridocorneal angle morphogenesis is controversial Different theories on the mechanisms of morphogenesis of the angle mesenchyme to the complex tissues of the mature angle have been reviewed elsewhere [ 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17]. Important mechanisms that participate in complex tissue formation include: proliferation and differentiation of cells, differential growth rates of cells, modulation of the extracellular matrix, and cell death. Although there is evidence for a role of most of these processes in iridocorneal angle development and intertrabecular space opening (see [ 17]), the role of cell death or atrophy is controversial. In Sprague Dawley (SD) rats, dying cells were readily identified from P5 to P100 (average of 10 to 20 dying cells per section) and less abundantly at older adult ages (1 to 3 per section at P200) [ 18]. This time frame encompasses the period of mesenchymal differentiation and channel formation in the rat angle (P5 to P60). Due to this and the fact that dying cells were identified in the TM, iris, iris root and ciliary body, it was proposed that cell death may serve to open the deep angle recess and to create spaces in the TM and uveoscleral outflow routes. The dying cells were frequently associated with macrophages. An established function of macrophages is the engulfment of cellular debris. Macrophages also can elicit cell death in normal development (see [ 32]). In the developing eye, macrophages are required to induce death of vascular endothelial cells during programmed capillary regression. Disruption of macrophage function prevents endothelial cell death and results in abnormal persistence of the capillary networks known as the pupillary membrane and hyaloid vasculature [ 33, 34]. Together, these observations suggest that macrophage induced cell death may be important in angle morphogenesis. By contrast to the rat study, trabecular cell death was not observed or was rare in the developing human, monkey and dog TM [ 12, 16, 17, 20, 21], even though small numbers of macrophages were present in some of these studies. In one human study that considered total cell numbers (as opposed to cell density), the total number of cells increased as the TM matured. Macrophages were reported in the developing mouse (B6) anterior chamber and a model of TM development including cell death was proposed, but no cell death was recorded [ 26]. The reason for these differing results is still unclear, and may reflect factors such as the age of tissue sampled or the amount of tissue available for study. No evidence for cell death during mouse angle development We report here an extensive study of mouse eyes. Light microscopy failed to detect cell death in the developing TM of B6 and A.BY/SnJ mice. Dying cells were not detected in the angle of mice of an additional 5 inbred strains and 3 mixed genetic backgrounds at ages up to P63. No cells with the characteristic morphologic changes of apoptosis or necrosis were observed by EM [ 35, 36] in mice of strain B6, or of 5 other inbred strains and 2 mixed genetic backgrounds at ages up to P63. Similarly, only 2 apoptotic cells were detected in the developing SC, TM, iris and ciliary body of B6 eyes using a cell death assay on sections collected throughout entire eyes. In contrast, apoptotic cells were frequently identified in the developing retinas on the same sections. Importantly, the great majority of TM channel formation occurs during an 8 to 10 day period surrounding P10 to P18. Our EM and fluorescent PCD assays included three (P10, P14 and P18) and four (P10, P12, P14 and P18) time points respectively during this critical period. Although rare cases of cell death may be missed, the absence of cell death in approximately 600 analyzed sections provides no evidence for a role of cell death in angle morphogenesis. Finally, development of the angle in Fas and Fasl null mice was normal indicating this system of cell death regulators that can kill TM cells [ 30] is not required for TM channel formation. Based on these observations, we conclude that neither apoptosis nor necrosis are important mechanisms in development of the mouse TM and iridocorneal angle. Our data, together with the rare occurrence of cell death in studies of various mammalian species including humans, suggests that this is true for mammals in general. Possible explanations for conflicting results between various studies The absence of macrophages in the developing TM of mice in the current study is in conflict to a previous study. That study reported macrophages on the corneal endothelium, on the iris surface and in the TM at P6 through P10 [ 26]. The abundance of TM macrophages was not reported but the statement that they were observed in "favorable sections" suggests that they were not common. Macrophage mediated regression of the pupillary membrane occurs between P4 and P10 in mice [ 33, 37]. In the current investigation, we observed macrophages in the anterior chamber between the iris and cornea, and associated with the pupillary membrane between P6 and P10. Thus, we suggest that the macrophages previously reported in TM of mice (and possibly some other species) were involved in the process of pupillary membrane regression and were sometimes deposited in the TM but were not significant for TM development. That TM cell death was not recorded in both studies supports this. The demonstration of cell death in a SD strain of rats has fueled the debate about mechanisms of iridocorneal angle development [ 18]. This report disagrees with our findings in mice and warrants further discussion. In this rat strain, conspicuous numbers of macrophages were noted associated with dying cells in the iris, ciliary body and TM. Given the similarities in developmental stages between both B6 and A.BY/SnJ mouse strains and humans, and the similar timing and progression of angle development in mice and rats, it seems unlikely that mechanisms of angle morphogenesis would differ between mice and rats. It is, therefore, difficult to reconcile the frequent cell death in the developing and adult iridocorneal angle of an SD rat strain with the absence of cell death in multiple mouse strains in the current study. Although structural features and not morphogenesis were the focus of other rat studies, cell death was not reported in an EM analysis of the adult TM of Swiss albino rats, or of the adult angle of an unspecified strain of pigmented lab rats [ 38, 39]. These findings suggest that the SD rat strain may have atypical or excessive intraocular macrophage recruitment, formation, stimulation or persistence that may explain the macrophage abundance and cell death. Spontaneous axonal regeneration was recently reported in the transected optic nerve of adult SD rats [ 40]. This was unexpected because, in contrast to peripheral nerves, axons of the adult, mammalian central nervous system typically fail to regenerate following injury. Regeneration is a complex and poorly understood process in which macrophages are known to be important. Addition of appropriately stimulated macrophages can induce a peripheral nerve-like regenerative response in the damaged rat optic nerve [ 41, 42, 43]. Although the spontaneous axonal regeneration in SD rats is consistent with atypical macrophage activity, further experiments are needed to test this. Conclusions Our results support a model of mesenchymal differentiation and iridocorneal angle development that involves reorganization of cellular and extracellular matrix components without cell death or atrophy. The use of genetically different mouse strains indicates that the absence of cell death is typical in mice and not unique to an individual strain. The lack of cell death, similar developmental profile, and similarities in mature angle structure in both humans and mice suggests a conservation of general developmental mechanisms between mice and non-rodent mammals. For general anterior segment development, this is supported by the observations that genetic deficiency of transcription factors such as PAX6, PITX2, FOXC1 [ 44, 45], and LMX1B that are expressed in the periocular mesenchyme results in anterior segment dysgenesis in both humans and mice [ 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54]. In general, however, previous mouse studies have not examined the effects of mutations on the TM and SC. This is partly due to limited documentation of the sequence of events underlying iridocorneal angle development and limited documentation of the mature angle structures in mice. The current study provides important baseline information for mechanistic studies of angle development in the existing mouse models of anterior segment dysgenesis. Additionally, it will facilitate experiments with mutant mice to determine how newly identified genes function in angle development and how the pathways in which they participate overlap or interact with each other. These experiments will enhance understanding of the developmental processes involved in anterior segment formation, and glaucomas associated with anterior segment dysgenesis. Materials and Methods Light microscopy At least three mice C57BL/6J (B6) were evaluated for each postnatal time period: newborn, P2, 4, 6, 8, 10, 12, 14, 21, 28, 35, 42, 49, and P56. Adult B6 mice ranging from P60 to 12 months and prenatal B6 stages E10.5 to E18.5 were also examined. Additionally, progressive developmental stages in the strain A.BY/SnJ were evaluated (P1, 7, 14, 21, 28, 35 42, and P60, with 2 to 6 mice at each age). A.BY/SnJ were normal mice derived from the A.BY/SnJ- corn1 strain. At least 2 mice (7 to 9 weeks old) were used for each of the following strains or mixed backgrounds: DBA/2J, BALB/cByJ, 129P3/J (former name 129/J), 129SvEvTac, 129SvB6F2, 129P3B6F1 and 129BS (129SvEvTac X Black Swiss >F2). Four week old DBA/2J and SB/Le mice also were studied. To determine if absence of the cell death mediators FAS and FASL alter iridocorneal angle development and morphology, we assessed five mice (approximately P70) of each of the mutant strains B6.MRL- Fas lpr and B6Smn.C3H- Fasl gld , which respectively lack functional FAS and FASL [ 55, 56, 57, 58]. For stages E11.5 through P6, whole heads were fixed in Bouin's solution, paraffin embedded and sectioned at 5 m thickness. Eyes from mice of ages P8 and older were fixed with a glutaraldehyde-paraformaldehyde solution [ 53], plastic embedded, sectioned at 1.5 m thickness and stained with hematoxylin and eosin. For both paraffin and plastic-embedded B6 eyes, 25 to 40 sections were collected from each of 3 different ocular locations, using the lens as a landmark, resulting in 75 to 120 sections per eye. Collected regions included the lens periphery, central lens, and a region halfway between the center of the lens and the lens periphery. Iridocorneal angle development is somewhat variable both temporally and spatially within a single eye and between eyes. This necessitated careful scanning of all sections. The eyes of other strains were processed identically, except that 30 to 40 sections through the pupil and optic nerve were typically collected and analyzed. This also was true for some of the adult eyes from B6 mice that were P60 or older. Developmental changes had to be consistently present in multiple sections from the same region to be regarded as real, and conclusions were drawn only from high quality sections. This approach guarded against the potential for distortion artifacts in the delicate tissues analyzed. Electron microscopy To assess developmental stages and to check for cell death, we studied eyes from three or more B6 mice at P10, 14, 18, 21, 35, and P60; from 2 DBA/2J and 2 SB/LE mice at 4 weeks of age; and from at least two 7 to 9 week old DBA/2J, BALB/cJ, 129P3/J, 129SvEvTac, 129B6F1 and 129BS mice. Eyes were processed as previously described [ 53]. Tissue blocks from 6 to 8 different locations around the eye were sectioned and analyzed for each eye. Fluorescent programmed cell death (PCD) assays B6 eyes at P10, 12, 14, 18, 21, 29 and P36, were immediately fixed in 4% paraformaldehyde in 0.1 M phosphate buffer pH 7.2 for 3 hours, transferred to 0.4% paraformaldehyde in 0.1 M phosphate buffer for 48 hrs, and infiltrated with paraffin. Eyes from two different mice in each age group were sectioned at 5 m thickness and sections were collected at 20 m intervals through the entire eye, except for very peripheral locations that did not contain iridocorneal angle. Depending on the size of the eye between 30 and 81 sections were collected per eye. We analyzed approximately 600 sections and estimate that considering all ages there was on average 100 cells in each angle region of our sections. Thus, we analyzed approximately 120,000 developing TM and SC cells (100 cells X 600 sections X 2 angle regions per section). A modified double labeling protocol that involved in situ end-labeling of fragmented DNA (using BODIPY fluorophores, Molecular Probes, Eugene, Or.) and detection of condensed chromatin (with the dimeric cyanine dye YOYO-1, Molecular Probes) was used to analyze all of these sections [ 59]. Samples were analyzed with a confocal microscope and cells were identified as apoptotic only when they were double labeled. The occurrence of PCD was evaluated in the iris, ciliary body and TM. Background Kir's have numerous functions depending upon the member of the family and the cells in which they are expressed. Most are open under resting membrane potentials, and thus help maintain the voltage across the membrane near the K +equilibrium potential. Specific functions include modulation of electrical activity of cardiac and neuronal cells, insulin secretion, and epithelial K +transport [ 1 ] . The crystal structure of the transmembrane region of a K +channel, KcsA, from the bacteria Streptomyces lividans has been determined [ 2 ] . Like KcsA, Kir's are 2TM proteins that have two transmembrane segments, M1 and M2, that flank a P segment. The P segment transverses only the outer portion of the transmembrane region. The first part of P dips into the transmembrane region as an -helix and its latter portion returns to the surface in a relatively extended conformation that lies near the four-fold axis of the pore. Backbone oxygens from all four subunits of the latter portion of P form a series of K +binding sites and thus determine the selectivity of the pore. This K +selectivity filter region is the only portion of KcsA that shares substantial sequence identity with eukaryotic Kir's. Kir N- and C-termini segments that precede and follow the M1-P-M2 motif contain regions that are well conserved among Kir's (see Fig. 1), but that are not similar to sequences of any other K +channels. In at least some Kir's, these cytoplasmic domains modulate the activity of the channel. Homology models [ 3 4 ] of the M1-P-M2 portion of Kir's have been developed using the backbone structure of KcsA. The validity of these models has been challenged by experiments [ 5 ] that were interpreted as indicating that the sequence alignment between KcsA and Kir proposed originally by Doyle et al [ 2 ] for M2 and used in these models is incorrect. Fortunately, the putative bacterial KirBac sequences reported here can be aligned unambiguously with the pore-forming P and M2 segments of both KscA and the eukaryotic Kir's. This turns out to be the same alignment that was used in developing the Kir homology models [ 3 ] , [ 4 ] . Results In analyzing evolutionary relationships among K +channels and their homologs, we identified five prokaryotic sequences that should code for proteins whose closest relatives are Kir's. The Burkholderia pseudomallei (KirBac 1.1) and Burkholderia cepacia (KirBac 1.2) sequences were determined by the Sequencing Group at the Sanger Centre and can be obtained from http://www.sanger.ac.uk/Projects/Microbes/. The Burkholderia fungorum LB400 (KirBac1.3), Magentospirillum magnetotacticum (KirBac2.1), and Nostoc Punctiforme (KirBac3.1) sequences are being determined by the DOE Joint Genome Institute and can be found at http://www.jgi.doe.gov/. These sequences are preliminary and could contain errors. The eukaryotic Kir's have been classified into seven subfamilies called Kir 1 to Kir7. We used several multisequence alignment methods (PsiBlast [ 6 ] , Clustal W 1.74 [ 7 ] , Pileup of the GCG package [ 8 ] ) to initially align KirBac with eukaryotic Kir sequences accessible in public databases. The methods all predict essentially the same alignment with only minor differences in the locations of some insertions and deletions (indels); the final alignment shown in Fig. 1was adjusted manually for those few positions where discrepancies arose. Portions of the sequences at the N- and C-termini that are difficult to align because they are poorly conserved among the sequences were not included in the calculations or Table 1or the alignment of Fig. 1. Table 1shows the evolutionary distances calculated among members of the Kir family and KirBac. These analyses support the phylogenetic tree shown in Fig. 2, in which the eukaryotic Kir's and prokaryotic KirBac's form two distinct families. Members of each family are more closely related to each other than to members of the other family. KirBac1.1, 1.2, and 1.3 were placed in the same subfamily because of their high degree of similarity, as indicated in Table 1. The alignments used for the calculations of Table 1and illustrated in Fig. 1are rigorous because they consider many sequences and almost identical alignments are obtained with a variety of methods that all take into account residue similarities as well as identities. However, for illustrative purposes it is more convenient to consider only identities for a few sequences. Fig. 1illustrates our alignment of the KirBac sequences with the Kir7.1 and Kir2.1 sequences. Kir2.1 was selected for the illustration because it is the Eukaroyte Kir studied by Minor et al [ 5 ] and because it is closely related to members of the Kir3, Kir5, and Kir6 subfamilies (see Fig. 2). Kir7 was selected because it is the Kir subfamily most distant from the other Kir subfamilies, as indicated in Table 1. Of the different K +channel families, KirBac's were found to be most similar to the Kir superfamily in the PsiBlast searches primarily because of the homology of their similar, relatively long C-terminal sequences following the M2 segments. When the M1-P-M2 regions of all of the different families of K +channels are compared, one finds that the eukaryotic Kir's are the most divergent. Accordingly, the M1-P-M2 region of most eukaryotic Kir's has numerous unique features that distinguish them from other families of K +channels. These features, which are numbered in Fig. 3under the Kir2.1 sequence, include in sequential order: 1) A DxxTTxxDxxWR motif immediately preceding M1, 2) a highly conserved tryptophan in M1, 3) an insertion in the M1-P loop that contains a CVxx (V or I) motif, 4) the absence of an aromatic residue at the first 'aromatic cuff position [ 2 ] in the P segment helix, 5) a glutamine near the end of the P helix, 6) the absence of an aspartate at the end of the P segment signature sequence (TVGYGD) and a RxxTxxCP motif in the P-M2 loop that is two residues longer than in most other K +channels, 7) a glutamine in the first part of S6, and 8) a hydrophilic residue (Asn, Asp, or Glu) near the mid region of S6 that when negatively charged is involved in blockade of some Kir's by Mg 2+ [ 9 ] . Fig. 3shows that none of these features are present in the KirBac's. In fact, if only the P-M2 transmembrane pore-forming region is considered, KirBac's are more similar to some other K +channel families than to the eukaryotic Kir's (see below). This finding suggests that the common ancestor to KirBac and the eukaryotic Kir's did not have these features, and that they developed after the divergence of the eukaryotic Kir subfamilies. The intermediate nature of the KirBac P-M2 region between sequences of the eukaryotic Kir family and several other K +channel families can be analyzed several different ways. One way is to perform a Blast search of the nonredundant database using only the P-M2 or M1-P-M2 regions of KirBac. When only the P-M2 region is used, the highest scores are with members of the voltage-gated K +channel family (Kv), and with members of a bacterial family of putative K +channels that have transmembrane segments quite similar to those of the Kv family. We call this family K-bac6tm1. When the M1-P-M2 region is used, a Blast search also finds some Kir sequences among the highest scores. To analyze these relationships more quantitatively, we aligned the M1-P-M2 regions for 224 Kv, 11 K-bac6tm1, and 129 Kir sequences. We also aligned the M1-P-M2 region of KcsA with the ten bacterial sequences in the microbial sequence database that were most similar to KcsA to produce a KcsA-like family. We then developed sequence profiles from each of these multisequence alignments. To identify the best alignments of the Kir and KirBac families to the transmembrane segments of these families, similarities of the sequence profiles were calculated as described in the Methods for different alignments of KirBac's for both the M1 and M2 segments. The length of the hydrophobic region of M1 is longer for Kir's than for the other families. To search for the best alignment between Kir' or KirBac's and the other families, longer M1 and M2 Kir and KirBac sequence profile blocks where scanned through M1 and M2 blocks indicated in Fig. 3for the other families. No indels were permitted in these calculations because they are unlikely to occur in transmembrane segments. The P segment was not included in this analysis due to the high number of identical residues indicating the obviously correct alignment between the different K +channel families. Z scores (see Methods) for two alignments, Alignment A of Fig. 3and Alignment B proposed by Minor et al. [ 5 ] , are given in Table 2. The Z value is the number of standard deviations the raw alignment score is from the mean of the normal distribution of scores obtained by random permutations of the alignment columns. The more positive the Z value, the less likely it is that the alignment occured by chance and that the two protein families are not related. A Z value of zero indicates that the alignment is no more likely than a random permutation of the sequence of amino acids. For M2, Alignment A was best for all comparisons. All Z values of Alignment A are greater than 4.3 for all comparisons except when the Kir family is compared to the non-Kir's, for which the values range from 2.2 to 3.9. The finding that Alignment A is clearly the best for comparisons of the KirBac family to both the non-Kir families and the Kir family, strengthens the argument that it is the proper alignment for Kirs with the non-Kir's. Alignment A is also predicted to be best by all of the other methods that we used. (Except that for some Kir and KirBac sequences the PhiBlast approach predicted that the two residue indel near the beginning of S6 occurred within S6 instead of in the P-S6 loop. We favor the loop location predicted by Clustal W because indels are more likely to occur in loops than within transmembrane helices.) Furthermore, when Z values were calculated for alignments of the different family profiles, this alignment was found to score quite highly for Kir's even without considering KirBac (see Table 2). The fact that KirBac's score are more similar to the Kv and Kbac6TM1 families for M2 but as more similar to the Kir's for the remaining portions of the protein illustrates their intermediate nature. The best alignment for M1 is less apparent. Alignment A produces high Z scores when the M1 profiles of nonKir families are compared to each other and when the KirBac families are compared to the Kir family. The Z scores of Alignment A for comparisons of the Kir family to the other families are also reasonably high (2.2-3.9). However, the Z scores for comparison of KirBac to the non-Kir of families are only between 1.2 and 1.8; and some other alignments scored higher for comparisons of the KirBac family to the Kv and Kbac6tm1 families. Nonetheless, Alignment A can be inferred to be the best because it scores highest for comparisons of KirBac's to Kir's and for comparisons of Kir's to the other families. M1 lies on the exterior of the KscA crystal structure where it should be very exposed to lipids when the protein is in a membrane (see Fig. 4a). This relatively exposed peripheral location explains why it tends to be poorly conserved when different families are compared. We favor Alignment A for M1 for several additional reasons. 1) This alignment does not require any indels for alignment of KirBac's with most members of the Kv and KcsA-like families for the entire M1-P-M2 segments. Indel penalties were not included in our profile calculations. 2) Second site suppressor experiments on Kir2.1 strongly suggest that a serine residue in M1 forms a H bond with a glutamine residue in M2 [ 5 ] . This can occur when Alignment A is used to develop homology models based on the KcsA structure. Futhermore, when a homology model (to be presented elsewhere) of KirBac1.1 was developed, the analogous glutamate residue in M2, which is absolutely conserved among KirBac's, can form H-Bonds to the two adjacent asparagines residues in M1; the first of these is analogous to the Kir2.1 serine mentioned above and the second is absolutely conserved among KirBac's. This interaction between the most polar conserved residue on M1 (the glutamate) and the most polar conserved residue on M2 (the asparagine) cannot occur with most other alignments of M1 when the strongly predicted Alignment A is used for M2. 3) When Alignment A is used to develop homology models, most residues that are highly conserved both within and between the different families interact with residues of other transmembrane segments. This point is illustrated in the helical wheel representations shown in Fig. 4of the M1-P-M2 segments for the different families. Note that both M1 and M2 display patterns that we call unilateral conservation [ 10 ] in which residues that are exposed to lipid on the outer surface are poorly conserved and very hydrophobic, whereas those that interact with other protein residues tend to be more highly conserved. These patterns would not be expected to be the same in the Kv and Kbac6tm1 families because they have four additional transmembrane segments per subunit that should surround their core S5-P-S6 region. In these models, residues that are conserved among the different families tend to cluster together, either near the center of the pore, where they determine the K +selectivity, or at the region where M1, P, and M2 interact within the subunit. In the latter case, most of the very highly conserved residues are small (glycine, alanine, serine, threonine, or cysteine). Small residues are common where axes of adjacent transmembrane helices come close together [ 11 ] . Although there is little sequence similarity for the M1 and M2 sequences when the Kir sequences are compared to those of the other families, the patterns of sequence conservation of the Kir and KirBac families are remarkably similar to those of the other families when Alignment A is used. Also note that many of the residues that are highly conserved within each family are identical or very similar to residues that are conserved within the KirBac family, as indicated by the red and orange dashed lines that encircle some of the side chains. The patterns of sequence conservation in Fig. 4are complemented nicely by mutagenesis studies that have been performed on Kir's as shown in Fig. 5. For example, note how well the poorly conserved (black) and highly conserved (red, orange and yellow) residues of M1 for the Kbac6TM1 family of Fig. 4fcorrespond to the tolerant (blue) and intolerant (red) Kir residues of M1 in Fig. 5a, that was developed from the screening experiments of Minor et al [ 5 ] ; and note how well the poorly conserved residues (black, blue, cyan, and green) residues and highly conserved residue positions (magenta, red, and orange) on M2 of the KirBac (Fig. 4b) and KcsA-like (Fig. 4d) families correspond to the tolerant (blue) and intolerant (red) M2 Kir resiude positions of Fig. 5b, that were colored according to results of alanine and tryptophan scanning experiments [ 12 ] . These similarities of residue conservation patterns between Kir's and the other families do not match as well for most other alignments between Kir's and the other families. Three groups [ 2 3 4 ] have used Alignment A for M2 of KcsA and the eukaryotic Kir's. However, based on the results from yeast mutant screens that identify second site suppressor mutations in M1 and M2 segments in Kir2.1, Minor et al. [ 5 ] proposed Alignment B in which the Kir sequences of Fig. 3would be shifted three positions to the left relative to the other sequences for M1, while those for M2 would be shifted three positions to the right. They proposed a model to explain their data in which the Kir2.1 has a structure different from that of KcsA in which M1 interacts with M1 helices of adjacent subunits throughout the entire transmembrane region. We are skeptical about the validity of this model because our three-dimensional modeling efforts indicate that the Minor et al. model requires exclusion of the P segment from the transmembrane region. It is highly unlikely that the only portion of the protein with substantial sequence identity between Kir's and KcsA and that determines the selectivity of the channels for potassium would have entirely different structures and/or exist in different locations in these two proteins. Our calculations indicate that Alignment B is clearly inferior to Alignment A for both M2 and M1; in fact, the Z values in Table 2of Alignment B average zero, as expected for an incorrect alignment. Futhermore, Alignment A requires no indels for the M1-P-M2 regions for most sequences, which were not included in the calculations, whereas Alignment B requires two. Finally, in our hands homology models based on KcsA developed with Alignment A satisfy the mutagenesis data on which Alignment B is based as do models using alignment B, and models using Alignment A are more consistent with mutagenesis studies of other groups [ 3 13 ] . No single model in which the P segment has the structure of KcsA can satisfy all of the second site suppressor data of Minor et al. [ 5 ] . However, their data are from an open conformation and the KcsA structure is probably a closed conformation. Most of their data can be satisfied by a combination of two conformations by dramatically altering the position of M1 and the inner portion of M2 for the open conformation (personal observation). It is also conceivable that some of the second site suppressor data are due to an essential intermediate stage of protein folding that differs from the final structure. Conclusions Gene transfer between organisms often complicates the interpretation of their evolution. There are now three families of eukaryotic ion channel genes for which only a few homologs have been identified in prokaryotes: the first family is a glutamate-activated K +channel, GluR0 [ 14 ] from Synechocystis PCC 6803, that is homologous to eukaryotic ionotrophic glutamate receptors; the second family is a Na +channel, NaChBac, from Bacillus halodurans [ 15 ] , [ 26 ] and homologous sequences from Thermobifida fusca and Magnetococcus sp. MC1 (personal observation, http://www.jgi.doe.gov/) with only one 6TM motif per subunit that is homologous to the CatSper Ca 2+channel of sperm cells [ 16 ] and to each of four homologous 6TM motifs of the pore-forming subunit of eukaryotic Ca 2+channels; and KirBac is the third family. In each case, the nature of the prokaryotic sequence supports the hypothesis that the gene evolved first in the prokaryotes rather than being transferred to the prokaryote from a eukaryote. For example, mutagenesis experiments [ 17 18 ] suggests that the ion selective region of eukaryotic glutamate receptor pores have a gross structure similar to that of K +channels; however, only GluR0 has a K +channel signature sequence and forms a K +selective channel. This is consistent with the hypothesis that glutamate receptors evolved first in bacteria from K +channels and then lost their selectivity in eukaryotes. Similarly, the fact that NaChBac is about equidistant from consensus sequences of all four 6TM motifs of eukaryotic Ca 2+channels [ 15 ] is consistent with the hypothesis that Ca 2+channels initially evolved first in prokaryotes as homotetramers from 6TM Kv-like channels and then underwent two consecutive gene duplication events to evolve into the eukaryotic Ca 2+channels that have only one pore-forming subunit that contains four consecutive 6TM motifs. Likewise, the hypothesis that KirBac evolved after transfer of a eukaryotic Kir to a bacteria is inconsistent with several findings: 1) all eukaryotic Kir's are more closely related to each other than to any KirBac, 2) the P-M2 region of KirBac's is more similar to that of some other bacterial K +channels than it is to that of eukaryotic Kir's, and 3) the M1-P-M2 region of eukaryotic Kir's have numerous features that occur in no other K +channels, including KirBac. Thus, the Kir's probably evolved first in prokaryotes as proteins similar to KirBac. This finding suggests KirBac has diverged less from the common ancestor to KirBac and eukaryotic Kir's than have the eukaryotic Kir's and supports the hypothesis that Kir's evolved first in bacteria. The utility of bacterial channels in structural studies has been made abundantly clear by the KcsA structure. Currently little is known about the three-dimensional structure of Kir's. Thus, determination of the structure of KirBac would be a major breakthrough in understanding the structure and functional mechanisms of this important family of K +channels. Also, it would be interesting to compare the functional properties of KirBac's to those of other Kir's. Chimeric experiments in which proteins are generated that combine part of a KirBac with part of a Kir could be useful in identifying the role of features that are conserved among eukaryotic Kir's but that are not present in KirBac's. Methods Sequence searches were performed with the web-based programs Blast and PsiBlast at http://www3.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/BLAST/for sequences that were deposited in data bases and by tblastn at http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/MicrobJ3last/unfinishedgenome.htmlfor unpublished microbial sequences. The default matrix (BLOSUM62) and gap cost were used but a filter was not used in these searches. The Wisconsin Package Version 10.2, Genetics Computer Group (GCG), Madison, Wisc. USA. was used to align and edit multiple sequences and to calculated the distance matrices. Clustal W1.74 [ 7 ] was also used to make multisequence alignments of the M1-P-M2 region for members of each Kir subfamily plus the other sequences illustrated in Fig. 3. Quantification of the similarity of the transmembrane segments of the different channel families was accomplished by first transforming the multiple sequence alignments into log-odds residue profile matrices. This was done by the method of Henikoff & Henikoff [ 19 ] , as previously described [ 20 ] . In summary, the first step was to weight each sequence in a multiple sequence alignment block according to its degree of similarity to the other sequences, which has the effect of minimizing the influence of highly redundant sequences in the final profile. These weights were calculated according to the method of Henikoff & Henikoff [ 21 ] , which is based on the residue diversity at each position of the alignment. Next, the sequence-weighted counts were used to calculate the observed occurrence frequency of amino acid residues at each column of the alignment block. To these real residue counts, pseudo-counts were added to better approximate the full set of related sequences in nature (of which only an incomplete, non-random sample is known). Calculation of the pseudo-counts was based on the degree of diversity and statistical substitution probabilities for the specific residues occurring in each of the alignment columns. The recommended value of 5.0 times the residue diversity was used for the total number of pseudo-counts, and the amino acid substitution probabilities were taken from the BLOSUM 62 matrix [ 22 ] . A substitution matrix based on transmembrane helices [ 23 ] was also used in some cases, however, the results were not altered substantially. Finally, the log-odds of occurrence of a specific residue is obtained from the logarithm of the sum of real and pseudo-counts divided by the background frequency that would occur in a random sequence by chance. The latter was calculated from the relative occurrence of all amino acids in the SWISS-PROT protein sequence database [ 24 ] . The final profiles were then constructed as matrices of dimension 20 by the number of positions in the multiple sequence alignment, where the column vectors provide the log-odds of occurrence of the 20 different amino acids at each position. Having numerically represented the distribution of residues in the multiple sequence alignments, the similarity of two profiles was calculated according to the method of Pietrokovski [ 25 ] . Specifically, the standard Pearson correlation coefficient was calculated for each aligned pair of column vectors and summed over the length of the alignment to provide a raw score. This was then converted to a Z-score, which is the number of standard deviations the raw score is from the mean of the normal distribution of scores that would occur by chance. This distribution was estimated from the scores obtained by randomly permuting the columns of one of the two profiles over 40 thousand times. In contrast to our previous method of calculating the chance distribution from the Blocks database [ 24 ] , using the profiles corrects for the specific composition of amino acids in the segments. The Z-score provides a measure of the statistical significance that can be compared among pairs of aligned profiles. More positive scores are less likely to occur by chance, and thus indicate a greater probability that the two protein segments are homologous. Abbreviations Kir: Inward rectifying K +channel KirBac: Inward rectifying K +channel homolog from bacteria Kv: Voltage-gated K +channel Kbac6TM1: a family of prokaryotic channels whose closest relatives are Kv channels. 2TM channel: A channel with only two transmembrane segments per subunit 6TM channel: A channel with six transmembrane segments per subunit. Background The potential adaptive significance of transposable elements (TEs) to the host genomes in which they reside is a topic that has been hotly debated by molecular evolutionists for more than two decades. While the biological importance of TEs seemed self-evident to those scientists involved in their initial discovery [e.g., [ 1 2 ] ], the subsequent realization that TEs could be maintained in populations even while imparting slight selective disadvantage to their hosts [e.g., [ 3 4 5 ] ] drew into question the presumption of adaptive significance. However, even if TEs can be maintained in populations on a day-to-day basis without providing selective advantage, it does not preclude the possibility that the insertion of TEs in or near genes may, in some instances, be of adaptive advantage. If TE insertion variants have contributed to adaptive gene evolution, such variants might be expected to be in high frequency or fixed in populations and species. Initial surveys of natural populations of Drosophila melanogaster showing that TE insertion alleles are in uniformly low frequency seemed to negate the adaptive hypothesis [ 6 ] . However, the sporadic discovery of degenerate TEs or TE fragments as critical components of functional genes in both plants and animals was sufficient to keep the adaptive hypothesis alive throughout the pre-genomic era [ 7 8 9 10 11 ] . The current availability of the complete or nearly complete sequence of select genomes representing a variety of species is providing an unprecedented opportunity to examine the frequency and distribution of TEs in eukaryotic genomes. The results have been dramatic. TEs not only comprise a significant fraction of nearly all eukaryotic genomes thus far sequenced, they have been found to be components of the regulatory and/or coding regions of a surprisingly large number of genes [e.g., [ 12 ] ]. For example, a recent genomic analysis of 13,799 human genes revealed that approximately 4% harbored retrotransposon sequences within protein-coding regions [ 13 ] . Similar results have been recently reported for the nematode Caenorhabditis elegans [ 14 ] . Here we analyze the polymorphism of two LTR retrotransposon / host gene associations across geographically widespread D. melanogaster populations and a representative population of the D. melanogaster sibling species, Drosophila mauritiana . Results We have initiated a genomic analysis of LTR retrotransposons present in the Drosophila melanogaster genome [e.g., [ 15 ] ]. Of particular interest is identification of genes harboring TEs and determining if these insertion alleles are in high frequency or fixed among natural populations as would be expected from the adaptive hypothesis. We report here the results of an analysis of two LTR retrotransposon-containing genes located on the second chromosome of the sequenced D. melanogaster y; cn bw sp strain. These two genes present an interesting contrast in that one of them, Chitinase 3 (Cht3) , is located within constitutive heterochromatin (Genbank accession: AE002743) while the other, cathD , is located in a euchromatic region of the chromosome (Genbank accession: AE003839). Our findings demonstrate that while the euchromatic cathD insertion variant was not detected in any of the natural populations examined, the insertion variant present in the heterochromatic Cht3 gene was found to be apparently fixed throughout the species. These results are consistent with the view that the presence of TEs in constitutive heterochromatin may have relevance to the expression of heterochromatic genes [e.g., [ 16 17 ] ]. Genomic analysis of the sequenced y; cn bw sp strain of Drosophila melanogaster identified a full-length Burdock LTR retrotransposon located just 3' to the cathD gene and a 359bp LTR fragment (complete LTR is 659 bp) of an Antonia LTR retrotransposon [ 15 ] located within an intron of the Cht3 gene (Figure 1). A set of PCR primers were designed to amplify regions of both genes and retrotransposon sequences. Appropriate pairs of gene and element primers were used to detect the presence or absence of the respective retrotransposon inserts associated with each gene in strains representing 12 geographically dispersed populations of D. melanogaster . The results presented in Figure 2and Table 1demonstrate that while the Burdock insertion located just 3' to cathD gene is not present in any of 12 strains representing a geographically diverse sampling of natural populations, the Antonia LTR fragment located in the intron of the heterochromatic Cht3 gene is fixed in all 12 strains tested. It is formally possible that the presence of the Antonia LTR within the Cht3 intron was the result of a chance fixation event prior to the expansion of D. melanogaster around the world. Thus, to further test the adaptive hypothesis we compared the level of sequence divergence within the LTR and its flanking intronic sequence between the two sibling species Drosophila melanogaster and Drosophila mauritiana . If the LTR-containing intron is under stabilizing selection, a lower than neutral rate of substitution would be expected. A total of 685 bp of the Cht3 intron was sequenced. This region spans 264 bp of the 359 bp Antonia LTR fragment. The sequence of this region in a D. melanogaster (Dimonika, Africa) and D. mauritiana (Mauritius, Africa) strain was aligned with the homologous region in the sequenced D. melanogaster y; cn bw sp strain (Figure 3). The two melanogaster strains were 100% identical. The melanogaster sequences were found to be only 1.3% (9 substitutions/685 nucleotide sites) diverged from that of D. mauritiana . This value is significantly less than half of the expected 4.3 % ( 2.7) divergence based on the Drosophila neutral substitution rate of 0.016 ( 0.005) substitutions/site/million year [ 18 ] over the estimated 2.7 million years separating the two species [ 19 ] . To directly compare the substitution rate for the Cht3 intron with that of another Drosophila gene intron, we randomly selected intron 1 of the Drosophila alcohol dehydrogenase ( Adh ) gene. Adh is a widely studied Drosophila gene and it has been sequenced in several Drosophila species including D. melanogaster , accession X60793 [ 20 ] and D. mauritiana , accession M19264 [ 21 ] . The sequence divergence between D. melanogaster and D. mauritiana in the Adh intron 1 (7.9%, Figure 4), is higher than that for the LTR containing Cht3 intron (1.3%). These results strongly suggest that conservative selection has been operating on the LTR containing intron associated with the Drosophila Cht3 gene over the past 2.7 million years. Discussion For many years, constitutive heterochromatin was considered to be of little or no functional significance [ 22 ] . This view seemed to be supported by early molecular studies showing that heterochromatin consists almost exclusively of highly repeated and middle repetitive DNA [e.g., [ 23 24 ] ]. The middle repetitive fraction was viewed as the descendent of once active TEs that had the misfortune of inserting into transcriptionally inert heterochromatin at some point in their evolutionary history [e.g., [ 6 20 ] ]. The view of heterochromatin as a genetic wasteland gradually changed with the mapping of a number of functionally important Drosophila genes to constitutive heterochromatin [e.g., [ 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 ] ]. Reexamination of Drosophila constitutive heterochromatin revealed that long stretches of highly repetitive DNA are interrupted by "islands" of retrotransposon sequences [e.g., [ 32 33 ] ]. Drosophila genes in heterochromatin are typically associated with these islands of retrotransposons [ 2 31 34 35 36 ] . It has been suggested that transposable elements inserted into heterochromatin may locally alter chromatin structure [e.g., [ 16 ] ]. Our results suggest that in at least some instances, the association of heterochromatic genes with transposable element sequences may be of adaptive significance. Conclusions The results presented here are consistent with the hypothesis that a 359 bp fragment of the Antonia retrotransposon located within the intron of the heterochromatic Drosophila melanogaster Cht3 gene may be of adaptive evolutionary significance. Further genomic and molecular analyses will be required to assess the general importance of LTR retrotransposon sequences to the evolution of heterochromatic gene structure and function. Materials and Methods Gene Region Annotation BLASTS of sequenced DNA turned up several instances of genes proximal to an LTR retrotransposon. Sequence retrieval was initiated via BLASTN searches (default parameters- [ 37 ] ) against the BDGP http://www.fruitfly.organd GenBank http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.govdatabases using LTRs from previously identified Drosophila retroelements as queries [ 15 ] . Results with E-values < e -10were annotated on the corresponding clone, whereupon visual inspection of several annotations confirmed the presence of retroelements proximal to known genes. Selected genes were BLASTed against NCBI's EST database and mapped along with predicted transcript structures from Flybase http://www.flybase.org. Chromosomal location of clones was also determined from Flybase. PCR Cht3 PCR The PCR products for primer set cht3(f) and cht3(r) and primer set Antonia LTR(f) and Antonia LTR(r) were amplified in a 25 l reaction containing 3 mM MgCl 2 , 10X PCR buffer supplied by Pierce (Rockford, IL), 5% DMSO, 0.2 mM dNTPs, 0.5 M of each primer, and 0.5 U of Taq DNA polymerase supplied by Pierce [Rockford, IL]. The program consisted of an initial incubation at 94C for 3 min for 1 cycle, a 30 cycle extension at 94C for 30 sec, 56C for cht3(f)/cht3(r) primer set or 57C for Antonia LTR(f)/Antonia LTR(r) primer set for 30 sec, 72C for 1 min 30 sec, and a 1 cycle final extension of 72C for 5 min. The PCR products for primer set cht3(f2) and LTR(r) were amplified in a 25 l reaction containing Expand Long Template PCR System 10X PCR buffer #1 supplied by Roche (Indianapolis, IN), 0.35 mM dNTPs, 0.32 M of each primer, and 1.3 U of Expand Long Template PCR System DNA polymerase mix supplied by Roche (Indianapolis, IN). The program consisted of an initial incubation at 94C for 3 min for 1 cycle, a 30 cycle extension at 94C for 30 sec, 52C for 30 sec, 68C for 3 min, and a 1 cycle final extension at 68C for 5 min. cathD PCR The reaction mix and program used for all sets of primers are the same as those described for primer set cht3(f) and cht3(r) and primer set Antonia LTR(f) and Antonia LTR(r) in the Cht3 PCR (above). The annealing temperature for primer set cathD(f) and cathD(r) is 58C, for primer set Burdock LTR(f) and Burdock element(r) is 59C, and for primer set cathDff ) and Burdock element(r) is 56C. Sequencing PCR products of the Cht3 intron were sequenced in the Molecular Genetics Instrumentation Facility at the University of Georgia. Sequences were aligned with Mac Vector 7.0 and compared to the published y; cn bw sp strain. Substitutions and insertion/deletion sites (indels) were summed for each sequence product and compared to the expected divergence based upon the neutral substitution rate. The expected number of polymorphisms between D. melanogaster and D. mauritiana was calculated based on the Drosophila neutral substitution rate of .016 ( 0.005) substitutions per site/million years [ 18 ] on 685 bp over a divergence time of 2.7 million years [ 19 ] . Note added in proof The two Cht3 intron fragments descibed in Figure 3 have the following provisional accession numbers in GenBank: D. melanogaster, Africa - AY081055 D. mauritiana - AY081054 Background Rates of protein evolution vary greatly and may be influenced by a variety of factors. Recently, it has been demonstrated that the magnitude of the fitness effects associated with deleterious mutations in protein-coding genes (i.e. proteins' dispensability) correlates with rates of protein evolution [ 1 2 ] . Essential proteins or those that are less dispensable to an organism tend to evolve slower than those that are more dispensable. It has also been suggested that proteins' evolutionary rates are determined by the proportion of amino-acids that are critical to their function [ 3 ] . According to this intuitively plausible notion, proteins with a greater fraction of amino acid residues that play an essential role in the protein's function are predicted to evolve slower than those with a smaller fraction of such crucial residues. Consistent with this prediction, a negative correlation has been reported between protein evolutionary rates, which were determined from evolutionary distances between orthologous proteins from yeast Saccharomyces cerevisiae and the nematode Caenorhabditis elegans , and the number of protein-protein interactions (i.e., physical interactions determined, primarily, using the yeast two-hybrid system) proteins are involved in [ 4 ] . Yeast proteins that have a large number of interacting partners were found to have evolved slower, on average, than those with fewer interacting partners, and this was presumed to be due to the fact that proteins with more interacting partners have a greater fraction of residues directly involved in function. However, these same data indicate that less than 6% of the variance in evolutionary rates is explained by the variance in the number of protein-protein interactions, suggesting that the influence of the number of interacting partners on protein evolutionary rates might not be substantial. We sought to further investigate this phenomenon by examining the relationship between the number of protein-protein interacting partners and protein evolutionary rates for the yeasts S. cerevisiae and Schizosaccharomyces pombe as well as for the proteobacteria Helicobacter pylori and Camplyobacter jejuni . Results and Discussion Evolutionary rates and protein-protein interactions: yeast A total of 1,879 pairs of orthologous proteins, one from S. cerevisiae and one from S. pombe , were identified (see Methods), and for 1,004 of these, there was data on protein-protein interactions of the S. cerevisiae member in the MIPS database [ 5 ] . For these 1,004 orthologous pairs, the number of protein-protein interactions detected for the S. cerevisiae protein was plotted against the calculated substitution rates between orthologs (Figure 1a). As with a previous survey that compared conserved S. cerevisiae and C. elegans orthologs [ 4 ] , there is a negative correlation between the number of protein-protein interactions and the evolutionary rates. However, although this correlation is statistically significant (Table 1), the slope of the linear trend line (y = -0.012) fit to the data by least squares regression as well as the small r 2value (r 2= 0.0065) suggest that the influence of the number of interacting partners on rates of evolution is minor at best. Specifically, the r 2value indicates that less than 1% of the variation in substitution rates between orthologous proteins is explained by the variation in the number of protein-protein interactions. Furthermore, when only the most conserved ( 40% sequence identity), and thus most reliably identified, pairs of orthologous proteins were considered, the slope of the linear trend line as well as the r 2value decreased and the statistical significance disappeared (Figure 1band Table 1). To account for the possibility that linear regression does not adequately reflect the structure of the data and the observed low correlation is due to a non-linear relationship between the number of interactions and evolutionary rate of a protein, we also calculated the rank correlation coefficients for these quantities. Under this approach, no statistically significant correlation was observed for either of the two analysed data sets (Table 1). It is tempting to speculate that the difference between the results obtained here and those reported previously [ 4 ] can be attributed to the difference in the evolutionary relationships between the pairs of species compared in the two studies. The species compared here, S. cerevisiae and S. pombe , are much more closely related than S. cerevisiae and C. elegans , and orthologous proteins are likely to be more reliably inferred between the closely related genomes. However, we also performed comparisons for pairs of orthologous proteins identified between the more distantly related S. cerevisiae and C. elegans [ 6 ] and no significant relationship between evolutionary rates and protein-protein interactions was observed (data not shown). Long-term evolutionary conservation and protein-protein interactions: yeast To examine the relationship between protein-protein interactions and evolutionary conservation of proteins over longer periods of time, the numbers of interactions for S. cerevisiae proteins were assessed against the taxonomic distribution of their homologs, which were detected using BLAST searches of the Genbank non-redundant protein database with expect value 10 -3. Five distinct levels of taxonomic distribution categories, each including taxa that are successively more distant from S. cerevisiae , were considered: 1 - hits only to ascomycetes, 2 - hits to non-ascomycete fungi, 3 - hits to metazoa and plants, 4 - hits to non-crown-group eukaryotes, 5 - hits to archaea and/or bacteria. The broader the taxonomic distribution of homologs of a S. cerevisiae protein the more evolutionarily conserved it is considered to be. Each S. cerevisiae protein was assigned a taxonomic distribution category, and this value was compared to the number of protein-protein interactions reported for the given protein. Correlation between these two features of S. cerevisiae proteins was not statistically significant (r 2= 0.007, p = 0.39). Thus, as with the comparison between evolutionary rates and the number of interactions, no substantial relationship between long-term evolutionary conservation of S. cerevisiae proteins and the number of interactions was found. Evolutionary rates and protein-protein interactions: bacteria High throughput analysis of protein-protein interactions has also been conducted [ 7 ] on the proteobacterium H. pylori (the causative agent of gastric ulcers), for which complete genome sequences of two strains are available [ 8 9 ] . Thus it is possible to assess the effect of protein-protein interactions on the rates of evolution over much shorter periods of time (within species) compared to the analysis of the yeast proteins described above. Towards this end, orthologs between the two completely sequenced H. pylori strains were identified and the substitution rates between pairs of orthologous proteins were calculated (see Methods). The number of protein-protein interactions was plotted against the amino acid substitution rates and no significant relationship between the two was detected (Figure 2aand Table 1). The same conclusion was reached when the rank correlation coefficient was determined (Table 1). In this case, the lack of correlation between evolutionary rates and the number of interacting partners might simply be due to the small amount of evolutionary diversification that has occurred since the two H. pylori strains separated from their common ancestor. To evaluate this possibility, orthologous protein pairs were identified between H. pylori and a more distantly related bacterium, C. jejuni [ 10 ] . These two species are close enough (both belong to the epsilon subdivision of proteobacteria) to ensure accurate identification of orthologs, but distant enough for substantial sequence divergence to have accumulated between orthologs. Nevertheless, comparison between these two bacteria showed no discernable correlation between the number of protein-protein interactions and the rates of substitution between orthologs, measured either directly or using the rank correlation approach (Figure 2band Table 1). Yeast proteins with the greatest number of interactions appear to evolve slowly The observations described above seem to indicate that the number of interaction partners a given protein has does not make an important contribution to the evolutionary rate. One could speculate, however, that whatever minor correlation is seen (Fig. 1a, 2a), is not spread evenly, as a miniscule difference in the evolutionary rates, among all proteins, but rather reflects a substantial slowdown of evolution among a small fraction of proteins that have the greatest number of interactions. To test this hypothesis, we grouped proteins from S. cerevisiae and H. pylori into separate bins, with each bin containing proteins whose number of interactions fell within a given range. Comparison of the evolutionary rates for proteins in different bins showed that yeast proteins in the bins with the greatest number of interactions, on average, evolved slower than the bulk of the proteins (Fig. 3a). The difference was less than twofold even for the top bin, but was statistically significant for each of the top three bins or their combination (Table 2). The proteins with a large number of interactions placed in the top bins comprise only 6.5% of the yeast proteins. In contrast, for the bulk of the proteins, which have a small to moderate number of interactions, there did not seem to be any dependence at all between the number of interactions and the evolutionary rates (Fig. 3a). H. pylori proteins with the greatest number of interactions also appear to have evolved slower on average between strains than the majority of the proteins. However, the difference was not significant and this effect was not seen in the comparison of H. pylori and C. jejuni orthologs (Table 2and Fig 3b,3c). Discussion and conclusions The hypothesis that a protein's rate of evolution is determined by the fraction of residues that are critical to its function, and this, in turn, is likely to be proportional to the number of interactions a protein is involved in, seems to make perfectly good sense. Indeed, a recent report is consistent with this idea in suggesting that the number of protein-protein interactions significantly affects rates of evolution [ 4 ] . However, upon investigation of this relationship at multiple levels of evolutionary relatedness, we found that there was only a slight correlation, at best, between evolutionary rates and the number of protein-protein interactions. In fact, examination of the actual data presented in support of the previous claim of a connection between the number of interactions and evolutionary rates [ 4 ] also shows a weak correlation, albeit greater than the one observed in this study. Thus, differences in the number of interaction partners seem to explain, at best, only a small part of the great variation of the evolutionary rates of proteins encoded in each genome [ 11 ] . Why does the number of interaction partners apparently have only a slight effect on the evolutionary rate? The first and most obvious possibility to consider would be that the low quality of protein-protein interaction data might obscure the signal. Indeed, a recent comparison of protein-protein interaction data sets from high-throughput studies suggested that more than half of all interactions determined by large scale experiments are likely to be false positives [ 12 ] . However, at least for the yeast data, we relied on manually curated protein-protein interaction data from the MIPS database, which are expected to have a substantially lower error rate. Second, one could speculate that, even if the majority of the analyzed interactions actually do occur, they are selectively (nearly) neutral; the number of such real but functionally irrelevant interactions would not affect the rate of evolution. Third, the possibility exists that, even if many of the observed interactions are functionally important and, by inference, the respective binding sites are subject to purifying selection, the binding sites for different partners tend to overlap such that the number of amino residues in these sites increases only slowly with the increase in the numbers of interactions. The latter two possibilities are not incompatible with each other and with the other aspect of the observations reported here. We found that the small fraction of yeast proteins that have the greatest number of interaction partners do, on average, evolve slower than the bulk of the proteins, which are involved in a moderate or small number of interactions. This effect was less pronounced, if observed at all, for H. pylori , but it has to be noticed that the top bins of the H. pylori interaction data included proteins with fewer interactions than the respective bins in the yeast data (compare Fig. 3b,3cand 3a). Protein-protein interactions form scale-free networks, which show the characteristic power-law distribution of the node degrees; simply put, there is a small number of highly connected proteins (hubs), whereas the majority have a small number of partners (the most abundant class are proteins that are involved in just one interaction) [ 13 14 ] . Scale-free networks are highly tolerant to error (elimination of nodes at random) but are vulnerable to attack, i.e. elimination of the hubs [ 15 ] and, indeed, it has been found that the most highly connected proteins in yeast interaction networks tend to be essential [ 13 ] . This might explain the present findings, namely that a small number of yeast protein-protein interaction hubs evolve slowly due to strong purifying selection, whereas, for the great majority of the proteins, there is no discernible connection between the number of interactions and evolutionary rates. Methods Comparison of evolutionary rates and protein-protein interactions Sets of protein sequences encoded by the complete genome sequences of the yeasts S. cerevisiae [ 16 ] and S. pombe [ 17 ] , the nematode C. elegans [ 6 ] and the proteobacteria H. pylori strain 26695 [ 9 ] , H. pylori strain J99 [ 8 ] and C. jejuni [ 10 ] were downloaded from the National Center of Biotechnology Information's Genbank ftp site ftp://ftp.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/genomes/. Protein sets (proteomes) from the following pairs of complete genome sequences were compared in order to identify orthologous sequences: S. cerevisiae - S. pombe , S. cerevisiae - C. elegans , H. pylori strain 26695 - H. pylori strain J99, H. pylori strain 26695 - C. jejuni . Pairs of proteomes were compared using the BLASTP program [ 18 ] , with post-processing of results done using the SEALS package [ 19 ] . For each proteome, individual proteins were used as queries in BLASTP searches against the entire proteome of the other analyzed species (or strain). Symmetrical best hits in these BLAST searches (expectation value 10 -3) were taken to be orthologs [ 20 ] . Pairs of orthologous proteins were aligned using the ClustalW program [ 21 ] and their substitution (evolutionary) rates were calculated using the gamma distance correction [ 22 ] . The data on protein-protein interactions for the S. cerevisiae proteome were obtained from the Munich Information Center for Protein Sequences (MIPS) [ 5 ] Comprehensive Yeast Genome Database http://mips.gsf.de/proj/yeast/CYGD/db/index.html. This database includes a manually curated catalogue of binary protein-protein interactions that is considered to be a reliable reference set [ 12 ] . Protein-protein interactions for the H. pylori proteome [ 7 ] were taken from the PIMRider functional proteomics software platform http://pim.hybrigenics.fr/pimrider/pimriderlobby/PimRiderLobby.jsp. Authors' contributions IKJ performed the comparisons between evolutionary rates and the number of protein-protein interactions and drafted the manuscript. YIW determined the evolutionary conservation levels for S. cerevisiae proteins and contributed to the statistical analysis. EVK helped to conceive of the study, participated in its design and coordination and revised the manuscript. All authors read and approved the final manuscript. Background Type 1 diabetes mellitus (T1DM) is a T cell-mediated autoimmune disease characterized by lymphocytic infiltration of the pancreatic islets of Langerhans with subsequent destruction of the insulin-producing beta cells [ 1 ] . Non-obese diabetic (NOD) female mice, a murine model for T1DM, spontaneously develop diabetes by 30 weeks-of-age, with infiltrating cells appearing around the pancreatic islets as early as at 3-4 weeks-of-age [ 2 ] . T1DM susceptibility in the NOD mouse is linked to I-A g7, the murine MHC class II gene that encodes a histidine at position 56 and a serine at position 57 in the chain, in place of the more frequent proline 56 and aspartic acid 57 [ 3 ] . The development of diabetes is prevented in NOD.PD mice (which are NOD mice with I-A g7) that carry a chain transgene with site-specific mutations that restore proline and aspartic acid at positions 56 and 57, respectively [ 4 ] . Furthermore, because of the two amino acid changes in the additional (transgenic) MHC class II allele chain in NOD.PD mice, NOD.PD mice recognize three additional peptide epitopes in the glutamic acid decarboxylase 65 (GAD65) autoantigen [ 5 ] . Among beta-cell autoantigens, GAD65 is an important initial target of the immune response that results in beta-cell destruction and diabetes, in both humans and NOD mice [ 6 7 8 9 ] . While both humoral and cellular responses to GAD65 occur as early as 4 weeks of age in NOD mice [ 8 ] , there is considerable evidence that beta-cell-specific T H 1 cells are the effectors of T1DM, whereas T H 2 cells appear to have a protective role [ 10 ] . Accordingly, a shift of the autoimmune response from T H 1 to T H 2 predominance has represented a promising strategy for prevention of diabetes and other T H 1-mediated autoimmune diseases. For example, administration of GAD65 to young NOD mice has been shown to prevent insulitis and diabetes [ 8 9 ] , apparently via induction of CD4+ regulatory T cells with a T H 2 phenotype [ 10 ] . Similarly, treatment with immunodominant peptides of myelin can prevent or reverse experimental autoimmune encephalomyelitis (EAE), a T H 1-associated inducible "autoimmune" disorder that is widely used as a model for human multiple sclerosis [ 11 12 13 ] . Unfortunately, recent work indicates that the application of strategies to shift autoimmune responses from T H 1 to T H 2 predominance is not without risk. Thus, some of us recently showed that administration of two self peptides that can induce EAE, myelin proteolipid protein peptide 139 to 151 (PLP139-151) or myelin oligodendrocyte glycoprotein peptide 35-55 (MOG35-55), can result in severe anaphylactic reactions [ 14 ] . This result clearly indicated that severe allergic reactions to self peptides can occur in mice that have been induced to express pathology (i.e., EAE) related to "autoimmunity" to these peptides. However, it was initially unclear whether anaphylactic reactivity also could be elicited to self peptides that have been implicated in the development of a spontaneous autoimmune disorder. In the present study, we show that anti-peptide autoantibodies and fatal anaphylactic reactions can be elicited by immunodominant GAD65 peptides in NOD mice that have been injected with these peptides intraperitoneally in incomplete Freund's adjuvant (IFA), as part of an attempt to induce "tolerance" and prevent the spontaneous development of T1DM. Moreover, while this manuscript was in review, Liu and colleagues reported that anti-peptide autoantibodies and fatal anaphylaxis can be induced in NOD mice that have been immunized with insulin B chain peptides B:9-23 or B:13-23 [ 15 ] . However, in the Liu et al. study, the peptides were administered subcutaneously in saline without adjuvant. As reviewed in Liu et al ., [ 15 ] several lines of evidence indicate that amino acids 9-23 of the insulin B chain also represent a major target of anti-islet autoimmunity in T1DM. Taken together with the findings reported herein, this work indicates that anaphylactic reactions can be elicited in mice that have been immunized with pancreatic islet-associated self-peptides that also represent significant targets of autoimmunity in T1DM. Results Anaphylactic responses to GAD65 and PD peptides In an attempt to induce a T H 2 shift, [ 19 20 ] 8 to 9 week old female NOD mice (I-A g7) were immunized by 3 weekly i.p. injections of the immunodominant G7 peptides (GAD 206-226/217-236/286-300) or of the additional GAD65 peptides identified in NOD.PD mice (I-A NOD/PD) (GAD 333-345/K458-470R) in IFA [ 5 ] . As noted in the background section, PD peptides are not immunodominant in NOD mice. Indeed, we originally included the PD-immunized group because PD peptides are the immunodominant epitopes that are presented in transgenic NOD.PD mice that do not get diabetes [ 4 5 ] . Because of their unknown, and potentially even protective, role in the diabetes-resistant NOD.PD strain, we felt that it was important to assess whether, through a peptide therapy regimen, PD peptides might be able to protect against diabetes by shifting T H 1 to T H 2 responses in NOD mice. As our study unfolded, and we found that G7 peptide therapy induced anaphylactic reactivity in NOD mice, we felt that it was important to evaluate whether PD peptides might also induce allergic responses in the NOD strain. As demonstrated in our study, immunization of NOD mice with PD peptides can induce both a specific IgG1 response and also anaphylactic reactivity. On the other hand, as might be predicted, PD peptides induced a less robust IgG1 response (Figure 2) and also a lower incidence and severity of anaphylaxis (see Table 1and Figure 1) when injected into NOD mice than did G7 peptides. In an attempt to induce anaphylactic reactivity to peptides known to induce T H 2 responses associated with allergic reactions, NOD mice were immunized using the same protocol with hen egg lysozyme and ovalbumin peptides (HEL 81-96, OVA 323-339) [ 21 22 23 ] . As a negative control, NOD mice received 3 weekly injections of saline emulsified in IFA. Four weeks after the last of the 3 i.p. injections of peptides/IFA or saline/IFA, mice injected with peptides/IFA were challenged i.p. with the same peptides used for the immunizations dissolved in saline, whereas mice that had been injected with saline/IFA were challenged with saline alone. By the day of challenge, 10-15% of all mice had developed diabetes, with the exception of the mice in the saline group (0%). All of the mice challenged with G7 peptides developed severe anaphylactic shock (100%; 14/14), with the majority of them dying within 30 minutes after the injection (86%; 12/14) (Table 1). In addition to the classical signs of anaphylaxis, such as reddening of the skin, prostration and respiratory impairment, the mice underwent a dramatic drop in body temperature (Fig. 1), which confirmed the presence of anaphylactic shock. Moreover, the death rate from anaphylaxis was substantially higher than in any other group in which anaphylaxis occurred (Table 1). On the other hand, the clinical and physiological features of anaphylaxis elicited by the G7 peptides were similar to those observed in age- and gender-matched NOD mice undergoing IgE-mediated passive systemic anaphylaxis (Fig. 1). Although the death rate was significantly higher in the G7 challenged NOD group (86%; 12/14) compared to the IgE-sensitized, DNP-HSA challenged group (none) (P = < 0.0001 by Fisher's exact test, Table 1), those mice in either group that developed anaphylaxis exhibited quite similar drops in body temperature (Fig. 1B). Similarly, while the group of mice that was challenged with G7 peptides exhibited a higher incidence of anaphylactic responses than did the group challenged with HEL/OVA peptides (Table 1), the temperature changes (Fig. 1B) and death rates (Table 1) in mice that did develop a reaction were quite similar. None of the nave age/gender-matched NOD mice (these mice received no injection prior to challenge) that were challenged with G7 peptides showed any signs of anaphylaxis (0/9; P < 0.0001 by Fisher's exact test for comparison vs. G7 immunized, G7 challenged mice) (Table 1, Fig. 1). This result indicates that priming of these mice with G7 peptides is required for the elicitation of the allergic response. Of the mice immunized with the PD peptides, that are not immunodominant in NOD mice, 43% (3/7) developed anaphylactic shock at the time of challenge with PD peptides (Table 1). Thus, the incidence of anaphylactic shock in mice immunized and challenged with PD peptides was significantly lower than that in mice immunized and challenged with immunodominant G7 peptides (P = 0.0058 by Fisher's exact test). Moreover, of those PD-immunized, PD-challenged mice that did exhibit an anaphylactic reaction, the drop in temperature was less sustained than that in those mice in the other groups that exhibited anaphylaxis (Fig. 1B) and only 1 of these mice died (33%) (Table 1). In accord with these results, immunization of the NOD mice with PD peptides produced a less robust specific IgG1 antibody response than did immunization with the immunodominant G7 peptides (see below). As expected, none of the mice immunized with saline/IFA alone developed anaphylaxis upon i.p. challenge with saline (Table 1, Fig. 1). Notably, in the mice immunized with G7, PD or HEL/OVA emulsified in IFA, anaphylactic responses were also provoked by the third i.p. immunization with peptides (10/12 in the G7 group; 3/4 for PD, 3/10 for HEL/OVA). However, these anaphylactic responses were less severe than those induced by subsequent peptide challenge of the same mice, with a less dramatic drop in body temperature (data not shown) and no deaths. Finally, although the numbers of mice that had developed diabetes by the day of peptide challenge in each of the immunized groups was small (10-15%), there were no statistically significant differences in the incidence of anaphylactic reactions in these mice vs. mice that were normoglycemic at the time of peptide challenge. IgG1, IgG2a and IgE responses Antibody responses were analyzed by ELISA in serum obtained 2 to 3 days before the 4 week challenge with peptides or saline. Mice immunized with the G7 peptides had high IgG titers against the G7 peptides, with levels of IgG1 being significantly higher than those of IgG2a (P < 0.0001 by Mann-Whitney U test, 2-tailed; Figure 2A). Anti-G7 IgG antibodies generally were not detectable in the other groups (PD- or HEL/OVA- immunized, or IFA alone) or in the non-injected (nave) mice. The two exceptions were a single non-immunized mouse with anti-G7 IgG1 antibodies (at a serum concentration of 90 g/ml), and one mouse immunized with HEL/OVA with anti-G7 IgG2a antibodies (at a serum concentration of 492 ng/ml). Anti-peptide IgG1 and IgG2a antibodies also were detected in PD- (Figure 2B) and HEL/OVA- (Figure 2C) immunized mice, although the magnitude of the antibody responses to these peptides (especially the IgG1 response) were substantially less than those to the G7 peptides. Total IgE concentrations were slightly, but significantly, higher in the peptide-immunized groups (G7, PD, or HEL/OVA) compared to those in mice injected with IFA and saline alone (Figure 3). However, the serum concentrations of total IgE were very similar in the mice that had been immunized with G7, PD or HEL/OVA peptides (Figure 3). Discussion This study clearly demonstrates that i.p. immunization of NOD mice with preparations of GAD65 self peptides in IFA can cause a marked shift towards a T H 2 like response, as reflected by high levels of IgG1. Similarly, Liu et al. recently demonstrated that strong IgG1 responses can be induced in NOD mice that have been immunized subcutaneously with insulin B chain peptides administered in physiological saline [ 15 ] . However, both studies showed that anaphylaxis can be induced in such mice upon subsequent re-challenge with preparations of the peptides used for immunization [ 15 ] . Moreover, the anaphylactic reactions in mice that had been immunized and challenged with G7 peptides were severe, with reductions in body temperature that were very similar to those observed in mice exhibiting IgE-dependent passive systemic anaphylaxis and with a very high fatality rate (12/14 mice, or 86%). Anaphylaxis also developed in some NOD mice that had been immunized and challenged with preparations of PD peptides (that are not immunodominant in NOD mice), although both the drop in body temperature and the death rate in these mice were significantly less than those observed in the mice immunized and challenged with G7 peptides. There were both similarities and differences between our findings in the NOD mouse model of T1DM and those in the EAE model [ 14 ] . Expression of EAE requires specific immunization with self peptides (e.g., PLP 139-151 or MOG35-55), and these peptides generally are administered in complete Freund's adjuvant (CFA). By contrast, T1DM develops spontaneously in NOD mice. On the other hand, induction of anaphylactic reactivity in NOD mice appeared to require immunization of the mice with GAD65 peptides (in this model, in IFA), as nave NOD mice challenged with G7 peptides exhibited no detectible reactions, and none of them died (Table 1). Thus, in both the EAE model [ 14 ] and the NOD T1DM model (this study, and that of Liu et al ., [ 15 ] ) some form of artificial "immunization" with a self peptide preparation appears to be required for the development of anaphylactic reactivity to "self". This of course is not a surprising result. Indeed, it is challenging to conceive of any possible selective advantage that would be conferred by a propensity to develop, under "natural" conditions, potentially fatal allergic reactions to components of self. It remains to be determined whether self peptide immunization protocols that induce anaphylactic reactivity do so simply because of the manner in which they present large amounts of self peptides to the immune system, or because of other factors, such as the presence in the peptide preparations of aggregates or other components beside self peptide monomers. Whatever the underlying reason(s) for the development of anaphylactic reactivity to these self peptide preparations, in both the EAE and the NOD T1DM models, anaphylactic reactions occurred in mice that had developed strong IgG1 responses to the relevant self peptides, with only modest changes in total IgE levels. In humans, antigen-specific anaphylactic reactivity is thought to be mediated solely (or primarily) by IgE antibodies, whereas it has long been known that either IgE or IgG1 antibodies can mediate anaphylaxis in mice (reviewed in [ 14 15 ] and [ 17 ] ). However, it has been reported that IgG1-dependent anaphylaxis in the mouse is associated with substantially less histological evidence of mast cell degranulation than is observed in IgE-dependent anaphylaxis in that species [ 17 ] . In neither of the models of "autoimmunity" that we have studied (i.e., EAE, T1DM in NOD mice) was anaphylaxis associated with histological evidence of substantial mast cell degranulation [ 14 ] (data not shown). Taken together, these findings suggest that IgG1 antibodies contribute importantly to the development of anaphylaxis in both of these models. On the other hand, we can not rule out some role for IgE antibodies in these reactions. Indeed, Liu et al . [ 15 ] found that, in NOD mice that had been immunized with peptide B:9-23, treatment with both anti FcRII/RIII and anti-IgE monoclonal antibodies was required to prevent anaphylaxis upon challenge with the peptide. Interestingly, however, Liu et al . [ 15 ] did not detect IgE antibodies to B:9-23 or B:13-23 in the serum of their NOD mice. By contrast, mice that had been immunized with B:9-23 peptide at 10 or 100 g/dose exhibited a robust and dose-dependent IgG1 antibody response to the peptide [ 15 ] . Thus, in both B:9-23 peptide-associated anaphylaxis (Liu et al . [ 15 ] ) and GAD65 peptide-associated anaphylaxis (our study), anti-peptide IgG1 antibodies contribute to the response. However, IgE antibodies also appear to contribute to anaphylaxis to B:9-23 peptides [ 15 ] , and may also be involved in our model. One point not yet clarified by the comparison of the present results, those of Liu et al . [ 15 ] , and those of Pedotti et al. [ 14 ] is whether the influence of thymic expression of the self peptide on the propensity to develop anaphylactic reactivity differs in the EAE and NOD T1DM models. In the study by Pedotti et al. [ 14 ] , it was noted that the two self peptides that induced anaphylactic reactivity, MOG 35-55 and PLP139-151, are not expressed in the thymus, whereas the two peptides tested that did not induce anaphylactic reactivity, PLP p 178-191 and MBPA C 1-11, are expressed at that site. However, both GAD65 and GAD67 mRNA can be detected in the thymic medullary epithelial cells in mice [ 24 ] . Thus, despite thymic expression of GAD65 and GAD67 at the level of mRNA, NOD mice spontaneously develop autoreactivity to these islet (and brain) expressed proteins, and re-challenge of mice that have been immunized with peptides from GAD65 results in severe anaphylactic reactions. On the other hand, expression of GAD65 or GAD67 protein in the thymus has not yet been reported. Similarly, as reviewed in Liu et al . [ 15 ] , although several lines of evidence indicate that insulin is present in the thymus of mice and humans, it is possible that the specific insulin peptides that induced anaphylaxis in their study are not ordinarily present in that site. As a result, it has not yet been demonstrated that anaphylactic reactions can develop to self peptides that are expressed in the thymus. It should be emphasized that NOD mice have a partial defect in thymic negative selection [ 25 26 ] , a defect in FcRIIB (that can negatively regulate anaphylactic reactions [ 27 28 ] ), and perhaps other genetic polymorphisms that may result in immunological hyperresponsiveness. The same is likely to be true in at least some patients with type 1 diabetes, and in patients in the pre-diabetic phase. Therefore, because of the risk of induction of anaphylactic sensitization, extreme caution needs to be used in developing any type of antigen-specific immunosuppressive therapy for the prevention or treatment of T1DM. This caution probably should be extended to all attempts to shift immune responses to self or foreign antigens from a T H 1 to a T H 2 response. Indeed, in a recent phase II clinical trial, 9% of MS patients given an altered peptide ligand (APL) of a myelin basic protein epitope developed immediate hypersensitivity reactions after multiple injections of the APL [ 29 ] . Thus, it would appear that great care must be taken when injecting preparations of putative "tolerogens" in attempts to suppress T H 1-mediated autoimmune diseases. Methods Mice Female NOD/LtJ mice (The Jackson Laboratory, Bar Harbor, ME), were maintained on Lab Diet 5K52 (Purina, St Louis, MO), under filter-top barrier conditions. Mice were tested three times a week for glycosuria using Chemstrip uGK (Roche Diagnostics, Indianapolis, IN), and considered diabetic when tested positive (glucose levels above 100 mg/dL), on three consecutive occasions. Peptides Three peptide pools consisted of: G7 (GAD 206-226, GAD 217-236, GAD 286-300), PD (GAD K458-470R, GAD 333-345), and hen egg lysozyme/ovalbumin (HEL/OVA; HEL 81-96, OVA 323-339). All peptides were synthesized by Research Genetics (Huntsville, AL) and were confirmed > 90% pure by HPLC and Mass Spectrometry analysis. Immunizations Mice (8-9 weeks old) received three weekly intraperitoneal (i.p.) injections of 100 l containing a mixture of 200 g each of the G7 peptides, the PD peptides or the HEL/OVA peptides, dissolved in 50 l of sterile, pyrogen-free 0.9% NaCl ("saline") and emulsified in an equal volume of incomplete Freund's adjuvant (IFA) (Difco Laboratories, Detroit, MI). A peripheral blood sample was obtained 2 to 3 days before challenge and was analyzed for antibody response by ELISA. Mice were challenged four weeks after the third immunization (at 15-16 weeks-of-age) by i.p. injection of the same peptide pools (200 g of each peptide) dissolved in saline. Mice were observed for 30 minutes after challenge for signs of anaphylaxis, and temperature was taken at intervals of 5 minutes. As negative control groups, mice were immunized with an emulsion of IFA and saline and challenged with saline, and age-gender-matched non-immunized mice were challenged with the G7 mixture (containing 200 g of each peptide in pool) dissolved in 50 l of saline. As an additional control, temperature measurements were taken from unmanipulated (non-injected) nave mice. Passive systemic anaphylaxis For passive systemic anaphylaxis, 15-week-old NOD mice were injected i.p. with 20 g anti-DNP-IgE (IgE hybridoma = H1 DNP--26) [ 16 ] dissolved in 200 l HMEM (Gibco-BRL, Gaithersburg, MD) with PIPES buffer (0.47 g/l, Sigma, St. Louis, MO). Twenty-four hours later, mice were challenged intravenously (i.v.) with 200 g DNP-HSA (Sigma) dissolved in 200 l saline [ 17 ] . Temperature measurement Rectal temperatures were taken using Physitemp (Clifton, NJ). Basal temperatures were recorded before challenge, and temperature readings were taken at 5 minute intervals until death from anaphylaxis or 30 minutes post injection, whichever occurred first. Temperature measurements were performed in a "blinded" fashion. IgG1 and IgG2a antibody measurements G7, PD and HEL/OVA peptide-specific IgG1 and IgG2a responses were measured in duplicate with mouse sera collected 1 to 3 days before challenge. EIA/RIA 96-well plates (Corning Incorporated, Acton, MA) were coated overnight at 4C with a 100 l mixture of each peptide preparation in a pool for a total peptide concentration of 30 g/ml diluted in physiologic saline. After 3 washes with phosphate-buffered saline (PBS) and 0.05% Tween 20 (Sigma), plates were blocked with PBS plus 2% BSA (Sigma), and 0.02% sodium azide (Sigma), for 2 hours at room temperature (RT). Serum samples were diluted in blocking buffer and incubated for two hours at RT. After 1 hr incubation at RT with 50 l/well of biotinilated secondary antibodies, plates were developed with Eu-labelled Streptavidin (PerkinElmer Life Sciences, Boston, MA) followed by Enhancement solution (PerkinElmer Life Sciences) and read in a 1234 Delfia Fluorometer (PerkinElmer Life Sciences). Serum Ig values were interpolated from standard curves obtained by coating the plates directly with purified IgG1 or IgG2a (PharMingen) at a starting concentration of 500 ng/ml, according to the manufacturer's instructions. Total IgE antibody measurement Total IgE was measured in duplicate with mouse serum at 1:100 dilution by sandwich ELISA (PharMingen) according to the manufacturer's instructions [ 18 ] . Authors' Contributions Rosetta Pedotti and Maija Sanna participated in the design of the experiments and performed the peptide immunizations and challenges in the mice, measurements of anaphylactic responses and ELISA immunoassays for antibodies. Rosetta Pedotti and Maija Sanna contributed equally to this study, including collaborating in writing the first draft of the manuscript. Mindy Tsai participated in the design and execution of the study and the drafting of the manuscript. Jason DeVoss performed some of the ELISA immunoassays for antibodies. Lawrence Steinman, Hugh McDevitt, and Stephen J. Galli participated in experimental design, interpretation of the results, and revision of the manuscript. All authors read and approved the final version of the manuscript. Background Johne's disease, also called paratuberculosis, is a chronic granulomatous enteritis of ruminant animals caused by Mycobacterium avium subspecies paratuberculosis ( M. paratuberculosis ). While Johne's disease can end in death of the animal, the economic impact of this disease is much more significant [ 1 2 ] . Losses are estimated to be $200/clinically infected cow/year and are a result of animal culling, reduced milk production, poor reproductive performance, and reduced carcass value [ 1 3 ] . Research on the pathogenesis and immunology of M. paratuberculosis infections of cattle is necessary to allow design of more rational diagnostic and control procedures. A small number of specialized microorganisms can survive inside macrophages designed specifically to kill bacteria. However, a hallmark of mycobacterial pathogenesis is their ability to survive, and even replicate, within macrophages. These include Mycobacteria, Salmonella, Listeria, Coxiella and Corynebacteria. Different mechanisms are employed as survival strategies and the mycobacteria are exceptional in the duration and persistence of this interaction. Survival of pathogenic mycobacteria is attributed to the fact that the mycobacterial phagosome does not fuse with lysosomes [ 4 5 6 ] . The mechanism that prevents phagosome maturation is still unknown as are any mycobacterial genes that contribute to the delayed maturation. Several studies surrounding the interactions of M. paratuberculosis with macrophages have been published because of its importance in pathogenesis. These studies include entry into J774 macrophages [ 7 8 ] , an electron microscopic examination of goat tissue [ 9 10 ] and an assessment of intracellular fate of M. paratuberculosis within bovine monocytes/macrophages [ 11 12 ] . However, many assumptions regarding M. paratuberculosis interactions with macrophages are based on analogies to M. tuberculosis [ 13 ] or M. avium [ 14 ] . In this communication, we present an analysis of M. paratuberculosis survival within J774 macrophages using transmission electron microscopy to show temporal events early during infection. Results Viability of M. paratuberculosiswithin resting J774 macrophages The growth of M. paratuberculosis was measured at early stages during infection of non-activated macrophages. Growth was measured by bacterial cell counts following serial dilutions on HEYM slants. The cell counts from three independent experiments showed a slow decline in M. paratuberculosis viability over 7 days (Fig. 1). After infection, an initial growth phase occurred until 24 hours postinfection where mycobacterial counts began to decline. In two of the three experiments, an increase in bacterial counts occurred after 70 hours postinfection up until 95 hours where a second decline in viable mycobacteria occurred. These data suggest that while M. paratuberculosis survives much longer in macrophages than some pathogens [ 15 16 ] including other species of mycobacteria [ 17 ] , there remains a significant decrease in viability over time. Immunoelectron microscopy of intracellular M. paratuberculosis Because the viability of M. paratuberculosis decreased with time, it was of interest to examine the progression of M. paratuberculosis infection by immunoelectron microscopy. However, a reliable method to label intracellular mycobacteria needed to be developed first. Therefore rabbit antibodies against a whole cell sonicated lysate of M. paratuberculosis were affinity purified. These purified antibodies labeled the outer periphery of Middlebrook 7H9 cultured M. paratuberculosis (Fig. 2C). This purified antibody preparation was then used to label M. paratuberculosis within infected macrophages (Fig. 2Aand 2B). The purified antibody was highly specific as all gold particles are associated with the mycobacteria and no labeling of the surrounding background or macrophages was observed. Control preparations of uninfected macrophages failed to label with antibody against M. paratuberculosis (data not shown). Note the mycobacterial morphology remained constant when comparing intracellular with extracellular bacilli (compare Fig 2Bwith Fig 2C). Temporal events during M. paratuberculosisinfection of J774 macrophages Macrophages were infected with M. paratuberculosis at a 5:1 ratio and fixed in glutaraldehyde at various time points to examine the development of mycobacteria in this environment (Fig. 3). Vacuoles harboring mycobacteria appeared tightly arranged and not spacious as previously observed in Coxiella burnetii containing vacuoles [ 18 19 ] . The mycobacteria themselves were in very close contact with each other. The size, number, and morphology of the mycobacteria appeared to remain relatively constant throughout the observed time period. At all times postinfection, mycobacteria were mostly found as groups inside vacoules. Occasionally, single bacilli were observed within a tight vacuole. An increase in the percentage of degraded mycobacteria was observed with time. There were two degraded bacilli per 25 fields at 24 hour postinfection and 12 degraded bacilli per 13 fields at 72 hours postinfection. Similar data were obtained in two independent experiments. Degraded mycobacteria were morphologically unrecognizable, but did label with immunogold, indicating the presence of M. paratuberculosis antigen (Fig. 4). These data indicate that macrophages can kill and degrade a percentage of mycobacterial cells in a given infection. We next examined the outcome of mycobacteria within heavily infected macrophages. J774 macrophages were infected with M. paratuberculosis at high multiplicities of infection (30:1) and examined at various times post-infection (fig. 5). Extracellular mycobacteria were phagocytosed via actin rearrangement and remain within phagosomal vacuoles dispersed throughout the cytoplasm (fig. 5Aand 5B). At least 20 infected macrophages were examined at each time point. Note the electron transparent lipid vesicles present within M. paratuberculosis. These electron transparent vesicles were seen at all time points examined. At 48 hr postinfection (fig. 5C), the cytoplasm of the macrophage is loaded with mycobacterial-containing vacuoles. By 72 hr postinfection, the macrophage cytoplasm is dark and the cell appears necrotic, possibly due to the heavy mycobacterial load or apoptosis. Severe membrane sloughing or blebbing seen to the right of the macrophage and identified by the arrows in Fig. 5Dis a sign of apoptosis [ 20 21 22 ] . No degraded mycobacteria were observed in these experiments. Therefore, at high levels of infection, it appears that mycobacteria survive while the host macrophage is killed. Whereas the outcome is reversed at lower moi. Discussion Growth and survival of mycobacterial species within macrophages has been an area of intensive study because of its implications in pathogenicity. For example, M. bovis has been shown to grow within macrophages whereas BCG strains do not [ 23 ] . This observation is controversial since there are reports of immunocompromised patients with disseminated BCG. Although multi-species studies are complex and multi-factorial, M. avium appears to be able to survive in secondary lysosomes better than does M. tuberculosis [ 18 ] . In macrophages co-infected with Coxiella burnetii, an intracellular pathogen known to inhabit and replicate within secondary lysosomes [ 19 ] , M. avium growth was not impaired [ 18 ] . Whereas M. tuberculosis bacilli that co-localized with C. burnetii containing vacuoles, did show reduced growth [ 18 ] . A recent report by Thomsen et al. [ 24 ] showed a higher percentage of degraded M. paratuberculosis in euthymic as compared to athymic mice. The in vivo study by Thomsen supports data from our in vitro study, indicating that J774 cultured macrophages are a good model for pathogenesis studies. Many bacteria such as Staphylococcus aureus are rapidly endocytosed and digested by macrophages within a few hours postinfection [ 25 ] . The present study showed an initial 25 hour intracellular growth period of M. paratuberculosis followed by a slow decline in the viability within macrophages over a period of 7 days. This survival curve is similar to that observed by Zhao et al. [ 12 ] which showed M. paratuberculosis intracellular growth in the first six days followed by killing after day six. The experiments described herein were performed using the type strain of M. paratuberculosis, which may have affected the survivability within macrophages since it is not a recent field isolate. However, M. paratuberculosis 6783 [ 17 ] and M. paratuberculosis BO45 [ 12 ] are field isolates that have both showed a decline in viability inside macrophages over time, although much slower than observed with the type strain. No attempt has been made to activate the macrophages in this study, although several laboratories have shown that macrophages activated with cytokines such as interferon- increase the ability to kill mycobacteria [ 26 27 28 29 30 ] . A very recent communication of M. paratuberculosis interactions with macrophages was published during the course of our experiments [ 17 ] . This comprehensive study showed that M. paratuberculosis -containing vacuoles were mildly acidified (pH 6.3) as compared to latex beads (pH 5.2). In addition, the M. paratuberculosis phagosome was characterized by the presence of LAMP 1 and absence of LAMP 2 lysosomal membrane protein markers as well as other endocytic tracer molecules. These cell biology studies clearly add to our understanding of M. paratuberculosis interactions with macrophages. This study has also provided a general description of early events in M. paratuberculosis infection of cultured macrophages. Several intracellular pathogens such as Chlamydia or Coxiella undergo readily distinguishable morphological changes during infection of host cells [ 31 32 ] . This is clearly not the case for M. paratuberculosis or other mycobacteria as they remain morphologically similar at least up until 4 days postinfection. However, an increased percentage of degraded mycobacterial forms was observed over time. These degraded forms appeared by 24 hours postinfection and were hardly recognizable morphologically, but did label with immunogold particles indicating the presence of mycobacterial antigen. At low moi, the bacilli were tightly clustered into a single vacuole throughout the observed time period. This mycobacterial vacuole is most likely characteristic of a late endosome, based on previous studies with M. avium, M. tuberculosis [ 33 34 ] and M. paratuberculosis [ 17 ] . All intracellular bacterial pathogens enter host cells surrounded by a membrane bound vacuole [ 35 36 ] . Some pathogens in heavily infected cells collect into a single vacuole within the same cell [ 37 ] . J774 macrophages infected at a moi of 5:1 showed separate M. paratuberculosis -containing vacuoles within the same macrophage even after 48 hours postinfection (Figure 2). Likewise, M. tuberculosis and M. avium appear to remain in distinct phagosomes that do not harbor more than one bacilli per vacuole (see Figures 1Aand 4Bin [ 38 ] for example). However, in M. avium -infected macrophages, one of the first phenotypic alterations following activation with cytokines is the coalescence of individual M. avium -containing vacuoles into communal vacuoles with many bacilli [ 26 ] . The significance of separate M. paratuberculosis -containing vacuoles observed in this study is still unclear. There appears to be a tenuous relationship to gain control between M. paratuberculosis and the macrophage with survival at stake. The macrophage can control growth and even kill M. paratuberculosis. However, the mycobacteria are cytotoxic to macrophages or induce apoptosis at high moi. The mechanism that enables M. paratuberculosis to persist within cattle for several years remains unclear as high moi are not likely observed at early stages of Johne's disease. Conclusions In vitro assays to quantify survival of bacteria in macrophages provide useful insights into host-pathogen relations. The results of this study provides further insight surrounding M. paratuberculosis -macrophage infections and have implications in the pathogenesis of M. paratuberculosis, a pathogen known to persist inside cattle for many years. Further studies need to address the tenuous relationship between mycobacteria and macrophage in relation to disease outcome. Materials and methods Bacterial strains and growth conditions M. paratuberculosis ATCC19698 was grown in Middlebrook 7H9 broth (pH 6.0) supplemented with oleic acid albumin dextrose complex (Becton Dickinson Microbiology) and 0.05% Tween 80 and ferric mycobactin J (2 mg/L). For viability counts, M. paratuberculosis was cultured on Herold's egg yolk medium (HEYM) prepared as described elsewhere [ 39 ] . Culture of M. paratuberculosisin macrophages The murine macrophage cell line, J774.16, was cultured in Dulbecco's modified Eagle medium (MEM; Life Technologies) supplemented with 10% defined fetal calf serum (Hyclone Laboratories) at 37C in 5% CO 2 . Because phagocytosis of mycobacteria was shown to be enhanced with complement protein C3 [ 40 ] , macrophages were infected with M. paratuberculosis in the presence of 10% serum from a clinical cow with Johne's disease. Multiplicities of infection (moi) ranged between 2:1 and 30:1 (bacteria: macrophage ratio) in PBS. The number of macrophages was 3.0 10 6/well as determined on an Angel CellTrak 3B cell counter. The input inoculum was 3.0 10 7mycobacteria/well for a 10:1 moi experiment. After 2 hours, extracellular bacteria were removed by washing the monolayers twice with fresh media. Infected macrophages were then incubated in MEM at 37C and in 5% CO 2 . Medium was exchanged every third day during the course of the infection. To determine survival of M. paratuberculosis within macrophages, 24-well plates of macrophages were infected at an moi of 10:1. Infected macrophages were lysed in cold sterile distilled H 2 O at 0, 24, 48, 72, 96, 120, 144, and 168 hours postinfection. Following lysis, serial platings of infected macrophage lysates on HEYM slants were performed. Lysates from three separate wells were plated for each time point. Antibodies Colloidal gold-conjugated goat anti-rabbit IgG was purchased from Ted Pella, Inc., Redding, CA. Two New Zealand white rabbits were immunized with sonicated preparations of M. paratuberculosis as previously described [ 41 ] . Antibodies directed at a whole cell sonicated extract of M. paratuberculosis were affinity purified using AminoLink columns (Pierce Chemical Company, Rockford, IL, USA). Briefly, the sonicated extract of M. paratuberculosis was coupled by reductive amination to a 4% agarose support column (Pierce Chemical Company). Sera from rabbits immunized with a killed preparation of M. paratuberculosis (1-2 ml) were passed over the column followed by three washes and elution according to the instructions of the manufacturer. Eluted fractions were evaluated by spectrophotometry and immunoblot analysis [ 42 ] . Fractions with the highest absorbance at 280 nm and the strongest reactivity by immunoblot were neutralized in 1 M Tris-HCl (pH 9.5) buffer and stored at 4C. Electron microscopy All fixation and staining procedures were conducted at room temperature. Noninfected and M. paratuberculosis -infected macrophages were cultured on membrane inserts for times indicated in each experiment described below. Cells were fixed for 2-4 h in 2.5% glutaraldehyde in 0.1 M Cacodylate buffer, pH 7.4. Fixed cells were washed in the same buffer three times and were postfixed in 1% OsO 4 in 0.1 M cacodylate buffer, pH 7.4, for 2 h. After washing in the same buffer, cells were incubated with 30% ethanol for 10 min. The cells were further dehydrated with a graded series of ethanol and embedded in epoxy resin (Embed 812). Ultrathin sections for immunoelectron microscopy were washed in buffer 15 min three times and etched with saturated sodium metaperiodate for 15 min. Cells were then blocked with 5% BSA for 30 min at room temperature. Cells were treated with affinity purified rabbit IgG against M. paratuberculosis (diluted 1:20) in the blocking solution for 2 h at room temperature. Cells were washed in Tris buffer containing 0.1% Tween 20 and 0.1% BSA four times for 10 min each and then incubated with goat anti-rabbit IgG conjugated to colloidal gold (10 nm diameter) in Tris buffer for 2 h. Immunolabeled sections were washed in Tris buffer four times and fixed with 1% glutaraldehyde in Tris for 10 min. All ultrathin sections were double stained with uranyl acetate and Reynolds lead citrate and then observed under a Philips 410 microscope. Background The detection of microbial life in extraterrestrial locations is an important goal of human exploration of space because of ecological and health concerns about possible contamination of other planets with earthly organisms, and vice versa [ 1 2 ] . Several indirect methods for detecting extraterrestrial life have been proposed in the prior literature. These include (a) examining the ratios of stable isotopes in important elements such as carbon and sulphur for discrimination against heavy isotopes and selective use of the lighter isotopes, (b) microscopic observations of highly organized or specifically-shaped structures [ 3 4 ] , (c) examination of soils for the presence of specific types of organic moieties [ 5 ] , and (d) the detection of chiral molecules in extraterrestrial samples [ 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 ] . Previously we suggested a thermodynamic approach to the detection of life. Since living entities require a continual source of usable energy, we should be able to detect a chemical signature of life in the form of mixtures of redox molecules such as porphyrins, quinones, and flavins that transport electrons along redox gradients between electron donors and acceptors [ 13 ] . We examined methods to extract and detect the components of electron transport chains that might be used to indicate the presence of life on site in extraterrestrial locations. Our experiments showed this to be a promising approach, though instrument development and miniaturization for this purpose will be challenging [ 14 ] . Here we discuss the possibility of a related, but simpler approach for detecting life that will measure the actual existence of functioning electron transport chains. This can theoretically be done remotely and on site using robotically collected extraterrestrial soil samples. The method involves detection of actual activity of respiratory electron transport using artificial electron acceptors such as DCIP and tetrazolium dyes such as XTT. DCIP, for example, couples directly with NADH or NADPH to form DCIPH 2 and NAD +or NADP +, making it an ideal electron transport chain indicator [ 15 ] . XTT has been used to measure microbial respiratory activity in complex natural environments [ 16 ] . Respiratory dyes have been used commercially for many years in the Biolog system to help identify pure cultures of microorganisms by their patterns of oxidation of multiple organic substrates [ 17 ] . Biolog also has been used to characterize oxidation capabilities of soil microbial communities [ 18 ] . Rodriquez, et al. [ 19 ] used the redox dye 5-cyano-2,3-ditolyl tetrazolium chloride (CTC) for direct epifluorescent microscopic enumeration of respiring bacteria in environmental samples. The oxidized form of CTC is nearly colorless and non-fluorescent. Oxidized CTC was observed to be reduced by biological electron transport systems, forming a fluorescent, insoluble CTC-formazan. The formazan accumulated intracellularly and could be visualized by epifluorescence microscopy in wet-mount preparations, on polycarbonate membrane filter surfaces, or directly in some biofilms. Thus, coupled with more limited analyses for specific electron transport molecules (e.g., porphyrins or quinones), the use of respiratory dyes for detection of active electron transport in the biological redox range could provide very convincing evidence for life in extraterrestrial locations. This approach would obviously only detect presently living entities, but these could include dormant life forms such as spores that might germinate and grow using added nutrients. Results Examination of the presence of a chemical signature of life in various soils Figure 1presents the results of a comparison of supercritical carbon dioxide extractions of control (heat treated at 600C) and life-positive (unheated Idaho red sand) soils. We confirmed the structures of the compounds shown as marked peaks by their respective UV-VIS and mass spectra. The supercritical carbon dioxide (SCCO 2 ) extracts of Idaho red sand (Figure 1) and a Lake Boney Basin Antarctica soil, which contained relatively few bacteria (Table 1), showed detectable signature molecules in the extracted samples using either a diode array detector or an amperometric detector (Figure 1). The sterile soil, after heat treatment, did not yield significant amounts of our targeted redox signature molecules: nicotinamide, riboflavin, Q 0 , FMN, FAD, and porphyrin (Figure 1). To confirm that soil samples yielding negative results and those yielding signatures of redox moieties were different because of the presence and absence of biological entities, we counted viable organisms and extracted DNA from the heated control sand, a Beacon Valley Antarctic soil, a Lake Boney Basin Antarctic soil, and the Idaho red sand (Table 1). There were small amounts of organic compounds in the extract of the Beacon Valley soil, but none matching our standards (no redox signature). At a detection limit of 1 ng per gram of soil, DNA was absent from the control and the Beacon Valley soil, as were cultivable bacteria. Soils that contained electron transport moieties (e.g., the Idaho red sand and Lake Boney Basin soil) also contained both DNA and cultivable bacteria. Redox dye reduction by various soils Figure 2illustrates the color change seen when a soil microbial community reduces the dye XTT. Figure 3shows results of measurement of DCIP reduction in an autoclaved control soil and an extraterrestrial surrogate soil (Idaho red sand). Figure 4shows results of XTT reduction by the control soil and the life-positive Idaho red sand. Figure 5shows results of XTT reduction by the control and the life-positive Boney Basin, Antarctica soil. The Beacon Valley, Antarctica soil did not reduce either dye. As another control, Figure 6shows the reduction of XTT by a pure culture of Pseudomonas putida . Discussion Energy use by living organisms directs our experimental design for seeking signs of extraterrestrial life. In terrestrial biological systems, energy is tapped via stepwise electron transport between electron donors and acceptors via an electron transport chain . Applying this principle universally, we should be able to detect the chemical components of electron transport chains or electron transport itself as a signature of life. Our assumptions about the centrality of electron transport processes to life led us to a direct experimental approach for detection of life. We were able to measure actual electron transport in the redox range between -1.0 and +1.0 V in a microbe-poor soil, in the presence of air, and both with and without additions of an electron donor (dilute nutrient broth). The respiratory electron-accepting dyes DCIP and XTT were used to "short-circuit" microbial electron transport, and this was observed (dye reduction) by visible spectroscopy. This method might entail some site-specific challenges in environments that are different from those on Earth, especially in developing appropriate controls for abiotic processes. NASA learned this lesson from the Viking biology mission to Mars. In the Viking's gas exchange experiment, water vapor exposed to the Martian soil released O 2 , but possibly only as a result of the activity of powerful soil oxidants that also might have been responsible for the chemical reactivity seen in other Viking biology experiments [ 20 ] . A molecule such as DCIP or XTT might be destroyed by oxidation in the presence of such soils. However, soil samples taken from borings beneath the surface, which is exposed to high energy, oxidant-generating ultraviolet radiation, or from other protected areas, might not be so destructive of organic compounds. Such stability problems should not be of such concern for extraterrestrial sites such as Europa or Titan. Thus, our ability, confirmed here, to detect actual electron transport within the redox potential range of life processes, and to observe simultaneously some of the signature chemical structures involved, offers a promising direct approach to detecting the capability of living entities in soil on Earth or elsewhere in our solar system to move electrons between universal donors and acceptors and obtain energy to support replication. Since we are not yet able to test this approach extraterrestrially, we validated our proposed detection method using pure microbial cultures and microbe-poor soils collected on Earth. A select group of signature chemicals were extracted from an organic-poor soil (Figure 1) and identified with instruments that eventually can be miniaturized for use on space exploration missions [ 13 21 22 ] . Actual electron transport by living cells was confirmed by use of two specific dyes (DCIP and XTT) that short-circuit respiratory electron transport chains. This was demonstrated using a pure strain of the common earthly soil microorganism, Pseudomonas putida (Figure 6), and with native soil microorganisms within two nutrient-supplemented soil matrixes (Figures 3, 4, 5). We easily detected a signature of biological electron transport within a biologically poor, sandy soil containing about 30,000 cultivable cells per gram (Idaho red sand), and also from a soil from the extreme environment of Lake Boney Basin, Antarctica (Table 1). Though the Boney Basin soil readily reduced XTT, it only very slowly reduced DCIP (data not shown), and the rate of reduction was not significantly different between untreated soil and killed controls. Since DCIP and XTT have different redox potentials, and XTT in our work appears to generally be more easily reduced by soil microbial communities, this shows a need to use more than one respiratory dye in this type of experiment. Our observations also indicate that in soils from extreme environments, one may expect differences in their patterns of dye reduction that probably reflect differences in their community phylogenetic compositions. A soil from Beacon Valley, Antarctica that showed no DNA at our detection limit also showed no dye reduction activity with either dye. This soil appears to be sterile by our method of life detection; certainly it contains fewer microbial cells than our detection limit. Further investigations of this soil are thus warranted. For the Idaho red sand, assuming 30,000 cells represent about 1% of actual biomass in the soil, the detection limit of our method should be about 3,000,000 cells/g. Though the amount of DNA observed in the Lake Boney Basin soil was actually higher than seen in the Idaho red sand, the microbial counts were lower (Table 1). This shows once again the limitation of viable counts, which only count organisms that grow on the specific medium employed. It is well known that most bacteria in nature cannot be cultured. Our work indicates there is probably a more dominant non-cultivable microbial community in the Antarctic soil compared to the Idaho soil, since DNA analysis indicated high numbers of microorganisms that were not reflected in viable count data. We need to improve the current detection limit for organic moieties (Figure 1), estimated at 3 10 6cells per gram of soil. Processing larger quantities of soil could easily increase sensitivity for detection of redox molecules. Supplementing soils with appropriate electron donors and acceptors could stimulate extensive growth of low numbers of indigenous organisms. In theory, even a few cells/gram of soil might be detected using this approach. The former procedure might be accomplished by using a "flow-through" soil extractor that could receive multiple soil additions and concentrate the extracted residues prior to downstream analysis. The latter procedure could be implemented by using a microtiter plate format similar that employed by Biolog, where hundreds of potential electron donors could be examined simultaneously and the results (dye reduction) read by an on-board UV-visible spectral scanner designed for scanning microtiter plates. Examples of donor-acceptor combinations might include: simple sugars and/or amino acids or other organic molecules in the presence of oxygen or nitrate (organisms capable of heterotrophic respiration), hydrogen and ferric ions or oxidized iron minerals (chemoautotrophic hydrogen oxidizers), organic acids and ferric ions or oxidized iron minerals (heterotrophic iron reducers), bicarbonate/carbonate and trace minerals in the presence and absence of light (photosynthetic organisms), carbon dioxide and a reduced metal such as ferrous ions (chemoautotrophs), ammonium ion and bicarbonate/carbonate (ammonia oxidizers), etc. The combinations could be adapted to the environment under study, such as Mars (perhaps an iron-dominated energy system). In this work, we emphasized that during validation on Earth of any life detection method there is a requirement for control measurements that corroborate earthly results of assays that might be carried out remotely on other planets. We chose measurements of DNA (present in all earthly life) and readily cultivable bacteria (present in most earthly soils) for validating our specific redox chemistry based approach. In the future, as we and others work to increase the sensitivity of this life detection approach toward values needed for the extreme environments on Earth and places such as the regolith of Mars, the simple controls we used should be supplemented by a number of others. These could include controls such as direct microscopic counts of active and inactive bacteria [ 19 ] , extraction and quantitation of ATP [ 23 ] , extraction and analysis of fatty acids [ 24 ] , real-time PCR of universal 16S rDNA markers [ 25 ] , and/or use of a larger variety of culture media, including dilute organic media, in place of or in addition to plate count agar [ 26 ] . All of these approaches also have problems, such as the possible presence in soil of biological molecules that are not associated with living cells, the always-present inability of microbiologists to culture most of the bacteria present in soil, and the often unpredictable performance of PCR primers. However, the sum of such multiple controls would build toward ultimate confidence in the sensitivity of this or any other life detection technique. Because there is great diversity among habitats for microbial life on the Earth, and sterility of an earthly soil is rare, it would be desirable to examine as many as possible of these environments to determine the absolute reliability of our techniques for use extraterrestrially. Unfortunately, we cannot sample all possible terrestrial environments on Earth, or even a small fraction of them. We feel the diversity we have examined is sufficient to indicate the value of our approach, particularly since one of these extreme environments we did examine (Beacon Valley, Antarctica) appears to be sterile. We also cannot examine all known heterotrophic bacteria stored in culture collections to confirm that all or most of them effect dye reduction. However, the many years of experience using the Biolog system, which employs respiratory dyes to indicate microbial metabolism [ 17 18 ] , is strong support for our hypothesis that respiratory dye reduction is a robust and conclusive assay for heterotrophic life in soil. Further validation efforts may show that observation of redox cycling of artificial electron acceptors of appropriate redox potentials may be sufficient in itself as a signature of life, greatly simplifying instrumentation requirements for extraterrestrial missions in our solar system and beyond. Conclusions Coupled with limited analyses for specific electron transport molecules (e.g., porphyrins and/or quinones), the use of respiratory dyes for detection of electron transport in the biological redox range could provide very convincing evidence for life in extraterrestrial locations. Methods Signature chemicals As detailed in our prior work [ 13 ] , the following compounds were used as representative examples of electron transport chain components. Protoporphyrin IX, hemin, hematin, and nicotinamide (vitamin B 3 ) were purchased from Aldrich (Milwaukee, WI). Nicotinamide-adenine dinucleotide (NAD), riboflavin (vitamin B 2 ), flavin mononucleotide (FMN), flavin adenine dinucleotide (FAD), and DCIP were purchased from Sigma (St. Louis, MO). 2,3-Dimethoxy-5-methyl-,4-benzoquinone (coenzyme Q 0 ) was purchased from Fluka (Buchs, Switzerland). XTT was purchased from TCI America, Inc. (Portland, OR). The other chemicals and solvents used were of the highest available purity. Soils Natural sand from dune areas of southern Idaho (Idaho red sand), poor in organic content and rich in oxidized iron minerals, was used as a life-positive soil and surrogate for extraterrestrial soils. As a control we used cleaned, highly pure silica sand purchased from Fisher Scientific. These soils are described in our previous paper [ 13 ] . Other extraterrestrial surrogate soils were collected from Beacon Valley and Lake Boney Basin, Antarctica. The soil from Beacon Valley was from an area where higher organisms such as nematodes have never been observed. Extraction of soil organic moieties Soil samples of 5 to 15 g were used for supercritical fluid extraction (SFE) with supercritical CO 2 (SCCO 2 ). Samples were first hydrolyzed in 5 to 10 ml of acetone containing 2 M NH 4 OH under ultrasound agitation (water bath at 160 watts) for 1 h at room temperature. Nitrogen blown over the sample then evaporated the solvents. The SFE extraction was performed with the dry sample within one day to avoid any degradation of redox compounds. A piece of Whatman glass fiber filter paper (1.0 m pore size) was cut into a 0.8 cm diameter circle and placed at the outlet end of a 10-ml SFE extraction cell to retain large particles. A hydrolyzed sample (10 ml) was then packed into the vessel until it was full. Exactly 1.0 ml of 25% (v/v) trimethylamine in methanol as modifier was added to the sample, and the vessel was immediately connected to the SFE system. The extraction pressure was set at 300 atm, the oven temperature at 35C, and the outlet valve temperature at 60C. After a 15 min static extraction, a dynamic extraction was started until approximately 30 ml of liquid CO 2 passed through the SFE cell [ 27 ] . The flow rate was controlled at 5 to 10 ml/min by the outlet valve. In order to achieve maximum recovery, the SFE procedure was repeated again under identical conditions. Chromatography Separations were performed using a Hewlett Packard HP-1090 HPLC (Avondale, PA). Samples of 20 to 50 L were injected onto a Discovery Amide C16 or Discovery C18 reverse phase column (15 cm 4.6 mm, 5 m, Supelco, Bellefonte, PA), and analytes were separated using the ion-pair chromatographic method. Solvent A was 5 mM tetrabutylammonium phosphate, 30 mM KH 2 PO 4 , and 4% acetonitrile (V/V). Solvent B was 100% acetonitrile. Runs were performed over 35 min with gradient elution of 0 to 40% B, then with static elution over 35 to 40 min with 60% A/40% B, followed by 40 to 42 min with 100% A and a post-run wash of 5 min at a flow rate of 1.0 ml/min [ 28 ] . Detectors used were a tandem diode array detector (DAD) and dual carbon electrode amperometric detector (ECD). Electrospray tandem mass-spectrometry The identities of signature species present in extracts were confirmed by negative or positive electrospray ionization tandem mass spectrometry (Quattro II, Micromass Ltd., UK). Samples were delivered into the source at a flow rate of 5 l/min using a syringe pump (Harvard Apparatus, South Natick, MA) or directly from a HPLC column, with effluent from the column split 1:100. A potential of 2.5 to 3 kV was applied to the electrospray needle. The sample cone was kept at an average of 15 V. The counter electrode, skimmer, and RF (radio frequency) lens potentials were tuned to maximize the ion beam for a given solvent. The resolution of the detector was 15,000, and the source temperature was kept constant at 80C. The instrument was calibrated using a polyethylene glycol solution. All spectra were an average of 10 to 15 scans. Biomass and DNA analysis in soil The numbers of cultivable soil microorganisms were estimated by standard plate count and serial dilution methods. Standard plate count medium (PCM) was used to culture bacteria from soil samples [ 29 ] . DNA was extracted from different soils using the FastPrep DNA spin kit from Qbiogene, Inc. (Carlsbad, CA). The concentration of DNA was estimated by measuring fluorescence at 520 nm. Fluorescence was measured after staining the sample with Pico Green fluorescent dye (Molecular Probes, Eugene, OR). Our detection limit was about 1 ng of DNA in 1 g of soil. DCIP and XTT reduction assays Working in a sterile laminar flow hood, we added 2.0 g of soil, 16.0 mL of sterile 100 mM phosphate buffer (pH 7.5), 2 mL of 100X Nutrient Broth as a biological reductant (Difco), and 1.0 mL of 1 mM DCIP to a sterile 25 mL serum bottle. Bottles were plugged and capped with sterile closures and shaken at room temperature for required experimental time. Periodically, samples (1.0 mL) were removed aseptically and centrifuged to remove solids. The absorbance of the filtrate was measured at 600 nm. Concentrations of DCIP (oxidized) were calculated using a molar extinction coefficient of = 21.0 10 3M -1cm -1. Reoxidation of DCIPH 2 was negligible under our experimental conditions. Samples were run in triplicate. Reduction of XTT was monitored similarly as described for DCIP, except we measured the increase in absorbance at 465 nm resulting from reduction of the colorless oxidized dye to an orange product [ 16 ] . Authors' contributions All authors worked within a multidisciplinary team. RLC conceived the study, and participated in its design and coordination. AP directed the analytical chemistry work reported and interpreted the analytical data. QL performed the SCCO 2 extractions. DPE and LBA performed the dye reduction experiments and provided ideas for improvements of methods. GC and TJA designed the SCCO 2 soil extraction cell. FC provided expertise on voltammetric detection of analytes. CW, BB, RW, TA, and MM provided input regarding data analyses and overall life detection system design for potential future use on extraterrestrial missions. All authors read and approved the final manuscript. Background In order to foster genetic studies there has been increased emphasis on the development of appropriate phenotypes to describe cognitive functions such as attention (see, for example, [ 1 ] ). In general these efforts have used tasks that do not distinguish between different functions of attention. However, imaging studies have revealed quite specific anatomical networks for functions of attention such as orienting to sensory events, developing and maintaining the alert state and executive control used in resolving conflict between stimuli and responses (for a review of these networks see [ 2 ] ). We seek to use this anatomical information to define appropriate endophenotypes for genetic studies of attention. Imaging studies show that the alerting network depends largely on frontal and parietal areas of the right hemisphere [ 3 4 ] . The orienting network has important involvement of superior and inferior parts of the parietal lobe in conjunction with frontal and subcortical structures related to eye movements [ 5 ] . The executive control network involves frontal areas including the anterior cingulate and lateral prefrontal cortex [ 6 ] . Each of the networks is also differentially dependent on a particular neuromodulator. Studies of alert monkeys suggest that the effectiveness of alerting produced by a warning signal can be eliminated by drugs that block noradrenaline [ 7 ] . Lesions of the cholinergic system [ 8 ] and of drugs blocking ACh transmission have effects on orienting of visual attention in monkeys [ 9 ] . The executive network involves dopamine rich areas of the prefrontal cortex and anterior cingulate. Lesions in the cell bodies of dopamine (DA) neurons [ 10 ] as well as in the terminals located in prefrontal cortex [ 11 ] result in cognitive deficits in executive function tasks. There is considerable evidence that insults to parts of the brain containing these networks or to the neuromodulators involved can produce specific neurological or psychiatric deficits. For example, strokes to the posterior parietal lobe involved in orienting produce neglect of the contralesional space and specific deficits in tasks involved the orienting network [ 12 ] . Reductions in striatal dopamine seen in Parkinson's disease result in an inability to shift sets from one instruction to another, possibly reflecting a difficulty in control of conflict [ 13 ] . Many psychiatric disorders whose anatomical origins may not be well understood also show deficits in attention. For example, patients with schizophrenia exhibit difficulties in sensorimotor gating [ 14 ] , smooth pursuit eye-tracking [ 15 ] , set-shifting [ 16 ] , and working memory tasks [ 17 ] . Children with attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) exhibit abnormal performance in sustained attention tasks [ 18 ] and studies on autism reveal slowed covert orienting of visual spatial attention [ 19 ] . Patients with Alzheimer's disease show covert orienting deficits in visual attention tasks [ 20 ] . Interestingly, many of these disorders show familial patterns of inheritance and increased concordance in monozygotic (MZ) vs. dizygotic (DZ) twins suggesting genetic origins [ 21 ] . There is evidence that some kinds of variation in attention in normal subject and patient populations involves genetic variation. Studies using the Continuous Performance Task (CPT) have shown that the d' signal detection component of CPT performance has a heritability among normal subjects of 0.49 [ 22 ] . The Span of Apprehension task (SPAN), a visual search task, has been shown to have an heritability among normal subjects of 0.65 [ 23 ] and the P/N ratio of the Spontaneous Selective Attention Task (SSAT) was shown to have an heritability among normal subjects of 0.41 [ 24 ] . Twin studies using discordant twins affected with schizophrenia show that spatial working memory, divided attention, choice reaction time and selective attention [ 25 ] and attentional set-shifting [ 26 ] are underlain by inherited factors. Studies on infants suggest that effortful control and duration of orienting are heritable as well [ 27 ] . Recent studies have proceeded to associate genetic variation with performance variation in attentional function. For example, persons homozygous for the 4 allele apoe gene, who are asymptomatic, but at risk for Alzheimer's disease have been shown to have a specific deficit in orienting of attention that is in the same direction as the Alzheimer's patients [ 28 ] . Other studies using endophenotypic measures of attention have linked variation in the chrna7 gene with sensorimotor gating performance [ 29 ] and variation in the drd4 gene with attention deficits [ 30 ] . However, the tasks used in these studies have not generally involved either the orienting network alone, or the task involves an undefined combination of different networks. In previous work we have provided an Attention Network Test (ANT) for measuring the efficiency of the alerting, orienting and conflict networks [ 31 ] . The advantage of this measure over other neuropsychological measures of attention is that it provides a rapid measure of the efficiency of each of the attention networks which have been linked to a specific anatomy and specific chemical modulators. The ANT task is a combination of the cued reaction time [ 32 ] and the flanker task [ 33 ] . Its simple design permits use with adults, children, non-human primates, and patients with various abnormalities of attention. Our previous paper [ 31 ] and other studies using the flanker task suggest that performance on this task follows a roughly normal distribution. Performance is also stable within normal adult subjects across a wide age range and not detectably different in males and females. It has also been shown that practice or previous experience has little impact on the attentional measures although the overall reaction time is reduced. In this small scale preliminary study we take a step toward the use of the ANT as an endophenotype in genetic studies by exploring the heritability of each of the networks studied by the test. Results The mean efficiency scores for each of the three attention networks were calculated according to the operational definitions described below (see Materials and Methods). Table 1shows means and standard deviations (SD) for each of the attention networks and overall reaction times (RT) separately for MZ and DZ twins. The values obtained for the three attentional networks were similar to those found previously [ 31 ] . To determine if these values or the overall RT differed between members of a twin pair or between twin type (MZ or DZ), we carried out a 4 (three effects and mean RT) 2 (2 twins in each pair) 2 (MZ and DZ) analysis of variance (ANOVA) with twin type as between subject factor. There were no significant differences between twins in the pair, [F(1, 50) = 2.74, MSe = 912.98, p > .10], and twin type (MZ and DZ), [F (1, 50) = 2.79, MSe = 3553.27, p > .10]. The study consisted of two sessions which permitted analysis of reliability in the present sample. The test-retest reliability for alerting, orienting, and conflict were .36, .41, and .81 respectively. They were significant (p < .01). Since the means of the two test sessions were used, the expected reliability composite of two measures were .53, .58, and .90 for alerting, orienting, and conflict respectively. The alerting, orienting, and conflict scores may be influenced directly or indirectly by the overall mean RT. Generally one expects larger subtractions when the RTs are longer. In order to reduce these effects, ratio scores (effect divided by overall RT) were used in the correlation analysis and the estimations of the heritability of the three networks. Table 2shows the correlation values between twin pairs of MZ and DZ twins for each network. Heritability is generally thought to be the proportion of variance that can be attributed to genetic rather than strictly environmental factors. Most often it is estimated by comparing monozygotic and dizygotic twins [ 34 ] . Although there remains controversy in how purely genetic these calculation are [ 35 ] and the best way compute heritability [ 36 ] we chose to calculate heritability in two ways. First, using the classical approach, the proportion of variance attributed to additive genetic factors (narrow sense heritability) was estimated by doubling the difference in correlation between MZ and DZ twins. This approach provides a simple and reliable index for twin studies which vary across time and culture [ 37 ] . This method however, is ineffective at disentangling non-additive genetic factors and epistatic components as well and unique and shared environmental components. Table 3shows the efficiency of the conflict network is heritable ( h F 2= 0.89, h H 2= .62) while low heritabilities were observed for alerting and median reaction time ( h F 2= 0.18 and 0.16 respectively, and h H 2= 0.14 and 0.24 respectively). The orienting response shows no evidence of heritability. The orienting response shows a higher correlation in DZ twins than MZ twins In addition to the classical estimation of h 2, we applied the structural equation modeling package Mx [ 38 ] which allows the explicit representation of observed and latent variables. The advantage of this method lies in the ability to best fit the observed data according to path models that hypothesize varying degrees of additive and non-additive contributions as well as shared and unique environmental contributions. We chose a conservative approach, setting, the expected genetic correlation among DZ twins, to 0.5 and used the standard twin analysis path. Table 3shows the heritability estimates for three attentional networks and mean RT (and 95% confidence limits). The contributions to the additive genetic variance ( h 2), common environmental variance ( c 2) and unique environmental variance ( e 2) values are given. Interestingly, the h 2s were in agreement with those calculated using the classical approach. The effect of conflict was highly heritable ( h 2= 0.72) while low heritabilities were observed for alerting and reaction time and ( h 2= 0.18 and 0.16 respectively). Discussion Because of the small Ns involved in this study, only the effect of conflict is significantly different than 0 and this is due to the very small correlation found in the DZ twins. The correlation among DZ twins in conflict is suspiciously low because it is a smaller number than for any of the other networks this, of course, would inflate the overall heritability of the conflict network. To compare the heritability of the various networks would take a much larger study. For example, a power calculation suggests that with the current size of the effect it would take more than 600 pairs to reach significance for the alerting network. Nonetheless there is some indication favoring the heritability of the executive network. The heritability of the executive network has been observed in other conflict tasks such as the Stroop color-word task [ 39 ] which also activates the cingulate and other frontal areas [ 6 ] . However, the flanker task has an advantage over the Stroop in that it does not involve language and our results show considerably higher heritability. The heritability of reaction time has also been observed in other twin studies on normal subjects [ 25 ] . In genetic studies where cognitive assays for executive control or general intelligence depend on reaction time measures, the heritability of lower levels of processing involved in RT may thus influence the performance scores. To avoid this we normalized all efficiency scores as a function of median RT. There have been no reported twin studies on the alerting response per se , but this function, namely the maintenance of the alert state is inherently a part of many neuropsychological tasks. Interestingly, studies on depression and mood have shown deficits in simple reaction time tasks in patients that report sadness or depression [ 40 41 ] . These RT deficits are specific to left visual field (right hemisphere) and are consistent with the right frontal and parietal networks involved in alerting. Changes in the efficiency of the alerting network as a consequence of mood and depression are further supported by the findings of Liotti and Tucker [ 42 ] where subjects induced into sadness showed no improvement in RT when given alerting cues before target stimuli were presented. The mean probandwise MZ concordance rate for unipolar depression (40%) is more than twice that for DZ twins (17%) [ 43 ] as well as for narrowly defined depression (50%:29%) [ 44 ] suggesting the presence of genetic determinants. In our study there is no evidence of heritability for the orienting network. This may be because of low power of this small study. There is evidence that genes can influence orienting in a task similar to ours. Alzheimer's Disease is a heritable condition with a well described visual orienting deficit and where associations have been found in unaffected relatives between visual orienting and the apoe gene [ 28 ] . In order to keep the ANT simple the peripheral orienting cues are 100% valid. This differs from similar tasks of visual orienting where usually only 80% of the orienting cues are valid. In the visual orienting studies of Greenwood et al., [ 28 ] the association with the apoe gene was observed only when this validity manipulation was utilized. It is possible that the use of 100% validity and the lack of any specific instruction may have made use of the cues a matter of individual strategy and thus both relatively unreliable and less subject to genetic influences. Future genetic studies may be more fruitful when the validity manipulation is included in the ANT. While it is likely that our failure to find any evidence of heritability of the orienting network is due to either the small scale of our study or weaknesses in our assay, it is certainly possible that low correlations among MZ twins reflects differential experiences that these twin pairs undergo [ 45 ] . The advantage of using an endophenotypic measure can be extended when information about the neuroanatomy physiology and development underlying performance on the task is available. Knowledge of brain structures involved in performance will serve to constrain candidate gene identity and function and thus facilitate the integration of genetic information. In the case of the executive attention network, multiple imaging studies have shown activation of midline and lateral frontal areas. These areas are strongly modulated by dopamine and suggest the importance of examining genes that modulate dopamine. One of these genes the dopamine D4 receptor gene has been repeatedly associated with attentional disorders (see [ 46 ] for a review). While one allele of this gene (the 7 repeat) has been found not to be associated with abnormalities in interference in the Stroop effect, it is reasonable to examine other variants of this gene and other genes related to the dopamine system. Studies of human development have shown that the executive attention network is related to effortful control as measured from caregiver reports of their child's behavior [ 47 ] . Effortful control has also been shown to be heritable in twin studies [ 27 ] using larger numbers of subjects and has been linked by behavioral studies to the ability to delay gratification, development of conscience and other aspects of self regulation [ 48 ] . Conclusions We have developed phenotypic measures for the three aspects of attention: alerting, orienting and executive control that have been the best described anatomically. Our small scale preliminary study of twins suggests that at least the dopamine rich executive network is appropriate for use in molecular genetic studies. Materials and Methods Subjects Twenty six MZ twin pairs and 26 DZ same sex pairs participated in the study. Twins were recruited in the vicinity of Peking University via newspaper advertisement. Paid volunteer pairs traveled to the Department of Psychology to undergo a pre-test interview by a resident psychologist. Subjects with a history of psychopathology and/or taking medication were excluded. A total of 60 twin pairs interviewed, 52 aged matched pairs from ages 14-42 years old met inclusion criteria. All participants reported normal or corrected to normal vision. Zygosity status was determined by close inspection of physical features, birth records, parental interview and genotyping of buccal swab DNA at 6 polymorphic genetic loci: maoa, drd3, dbh, maoa, b1adr and gsalpha [ 49 50 51 52 53 ] . Procedure The ANT was performed as previously described [ 31 ] . Briefly, participants viewed the stimuli and responses were collected via two response buttons. Stimuli consisted of a row of 5 visually presented horizontal black lines, with arrowheads pointing leftward or rightward, against a gray background where the target was a leftward or rightward arrowhead at the center. This target was flanked on either side by two arrows in the same direction (congruent condition), or in the opposite direction (incongruent condition), or by lines (neutral condition). The participants' task was to identify the direction of the centrally presented arrow by pressing one button for the left direction and a second button for the right direction. Cues consisted of a 100 msec asterisk presented 400 msec before the target. There were four cue conditions: (1) no-cue, participants were shown a cross which was the same as the first fixation for 100 ms; (2) central-cue, which was at the central fixation point; (3) double-cue, in which cues were presented on the two possible target locations simultaneously (both above and below the fixation point); and (4) spatial-cue, cue was presented right on the target location (either above, below the central fixation point). A session consisted of a 24-trial practice block and three experimental blocks of trials. Each experimental block consisted of 96 trials (48 conditions: 4 warning levels x 2 target locations x 2 target directions x 3 congruency conditions, with 2 repetitions). The presentation of trials was in a random order. Participants were instructed to focus on a centrally located fixation cross throughout the task, and to response as fast, also as accurately as possible. Twin pair participants performed 2 sessions of the ANT allowing a break in between sessions while the other member of the pair performed the task. Calculation of attention network efficiencies Values for attention network efficiency were calculated from the raw reaction time data as previously described [ 31 ] . Medians were calculated for each test conditions (12 conditions in total: 4 cue levels by 3 target levels, combined target locations and target directions) to avoid the influence of the outliers. The alerting effect was calculated by subtracting the mean RT of the conditions with double cue from the mean RT of the conditions with no cue. Since neither of these conditions provides information on the spatial location of the target, the subtraction gives a pure measure of alerting. The orienting effect was calculated by subtracting the mean RT of the conditions with spatial cue from the mean RT of the conditions with center cue. In both conditions the subject is alert but only the spatial cue provided spatial information on where to orient. The conflict (executive) effect was calculated by subtracting the mean RT of congruent conditions from the mean RT of incongruent conditions. Background Febrile seizures are the most prevalent type of seizures experienced by children, affecting up to 5% of the world's population [ 1 ] . Although most febrile seizures are benign and do not require treatment, they are distressing to parents, and in a few circumstances, can increase the risk of subsequent epilepsy [ 2 ] . In clinical practice, therapy for febrile seizures presently is unsatisfactory, since clinical data are insufficient to document efficacy of most anti-epileptic drugs [ 3 ] . The most commonly used drug, phenobarbital, has significant deleterious effects on learning and behavior. A better understanding of the underlying mechanisms of febrile seizures might lead to new strategies of prevention or treatment [ 4 ] . Recent work has identified several genes associated with familial febrile seizure tendencies [ 5 6 7 ] . Some of these genes code for ion channels that govern excitability of nerve tissue. We recently published a study of the characteristic hyperthermic responses represented as epileptiform-like population spike activity accompanied by spreading depression (SD) in a rat hippocampal slice, which may serve as an in vitro model of febrile seizures [ 8 ] . The hyperthermic response was age-dependent, occurring almost exclusively in young, but not newborn, rats. The primary underlying abnormality in this model was inability of neuronal tissue properly to regulate extracellular potassium concentrations. During heating of the slice, extracellular potassium concentrations rose transiently from the normal 5 mM to as high as 40 mM and extracellular field potential shitted about 20 mV negative, a reversible condition known as SD. During the early phases of SD, neurons burst synchronously in a pattern analogous to seizures. Since hyperthermic epileptiform-like population bursts exhibited the frequency of oscillations (30-100 Hz), we hypothesized that GABA A receptor-governed oscillations might underlie the cellular basis of hyperthermic epileptiform-like population spike activity. The frequency oscillations (30-100 Hz) are characteristic of responses to sensory input measured by cortical EEG [ 9 ] . In the hippocampal slice preparation, oscillations can be evoked by brief, high frequency tetanic stimuli to region CA1 [ 10 11 12 13 ] . The extracellular field potential response during these oscillations takes the form of a train of population spikes in stratum pyramidal at and (15-30 Hz) frequencies [ 14 ] . Intracellular recordings during oscillations induced by tetanic stimulation reveal a slow membrane depolarization in conjunction with GABA A receptor-mediated inhibitory postsynaptic potentials [ 11 15 ] . This synaptic inhibition-based activity entrains action potential generation in pyramidal neurons, leading to the population spikes at band frequencies. The specific GABA A receptor antagonist, bicuculline, blocks the oscillations [ 14 16 ] , an action that can be modeled by simulated neuronal networks [ 17 ] . The band oscillations appear to play an important role in generation of ictal epileptiform activity in hippocampal slices [ 18 ] . This study explores the role of oscillations in epileptiform activity in the hyperthermic rat hippocampal slice. Results Hyperthermia-induced epileptiform-like population spike activity More than 90% of slices heated to 40C showed a "febrile-seizure like event," represented as initial epileptiform-like population bursts, followed by SDs. Figure 1Ashows a typical "febrile seizure-like event" elicited by heating a hippocampal slice from 33.9 to 38.2C. The epileptiform discharges demonstrated a frequency of 80 Hz (Fig. 1B), within the 30-100 Hz oscillation range. Summary of data from 24 slices showed that 71% (17/24) of hyperthermic epileptiform-like population spike activity fired at a frequency range between 30-50 Hz (Fig. 1C,D), with a mean oscillation frequency of 45.9 3.0 (mean SE, n = 24). Comparison of post-tetanic oscillation and hyperthermic population spike activity Figure 2shows the comparison between hyperthermic population spike activity and post-tetanic oscillations. In standard artificial cerebrospinal fluid (ACSF), a tetanic stimulation at 100 Hz, 100 sec, 2 mA, for 200 ms (20 trains) elicited and frequency population spikes, visible both with intracellular and extracellular recordings. In the same slice, heating to 38C ( 2Ab) evoked population oscillation very similar to those of post-tetanic oscillations. Power spectrum analysis of the population of responses among all slices, showed similar frequency peak of hyperthermic and post-tetanic gamma oscillations (Fig. 2B). Among all slices, hyperthermic oscillations occurred at a frequency of 45.9 3.0 Hz (mean SE, n = 24) and post-tetanic gamma oscillations at 47.1 2.6 (mean SE, n = 34). These two frequencies do not significantly differ (Fig. 2C). Effects of high intensity tetanic stimulation Results from this and our previous study showed that the SD always followed hyperthermic bursts [ 8 ] , but tetanic stimulation induced only oscillations in the absence of SD (Fig. 2). Therefore, we investigated whether high-intensity tetanic stimulation could induce oscillations followed by SD. Fig. 3Aillustrates a weak oscillation of field potential in response to tetanic stimulation at 2.25 mA. Tetanic stimulation at 3.25 mA induced a strong oscillation with a large field burst amplitude and long-lasting depolarization (Fig. 3B). In 6 of 7 tested slices, tetanic stimulation at 4.25 mA induced, not only prominent oscillations, but also SDs (Fig. 3C). These post-tetanic depolarizations had duration and time course very similar to those of hyperthermic SDs (Fig. 1A, 2Ab). Effects of bicuculline We utilized the specific GABA A receptor antagonist, bicuculline methiodide (BMI), to ascertain whether oscillations were dependent upon GABAergic mechanisms. The effect of BMI on the field potential in region CA1 is shown in Fig. 4. Bath-applied BMI (5 M) changed the single evoked population spike to multiple spikes, in a reversible manner. In the same slice, tetanic stimulation delivered in control artificial cerebrospinal fluid (ACSF) induced typical oscillations, and these oscillations were abolished by addition of BMI to the perfusate. oscillations recovered partially by 80 minutes of wash in ACSF. Figure 4Bshows another case in which high intensity of tetanic stimulation was applied to elicit oscillations and SDs. Addition of 20 M BMI reversibly blocked oscillations, but not the SD. In a second set of experiments using five slices (Fig. 5), we examined the effects of BMI on hyperthermic epileptiform-like population bursts. Bath-application of 10 M BMI for 20 min abolished post-tetanic oscillations. After several minutes of exposure to BMI, slices demonstrated rhythmic spontaneous bursts of population spikes (Fig. 5B), indicating that GABA A receptors have been blocked by BMI. Under these conditions, heating of the slice only evoked the SD without the initial population spikes (Fig. 5C). Effects of kynurenic acid and QX 314 Figure 6Ashows the effect of the ionotropic glutamate receptor antagonist, kynurenic acid (Kyn-A, 7 mM), on oscillations. Kyn-A dramatically attenuated evoked synaptic transmission, but failed to prevent hyperthermia-induced oscillations and slow SDs, suggesting that excitatory synaptic transmission is not necessary for hyperthermic oscillations and SDs. In Fig. 6B, 30 mM QX-314 was incorporated into the recording electrode. The action potentials were blocked by intracellular QX-313 diffusion. Heating the slice to 37C elicited a oscillation followed by a slow SD in the extracellular field recording. However, the intracellularly-recorded hyperthermic oscillation disappeared and was replaced by a smooth depolarization (Fig. 6B). Discussion Gamma oscillations underlie hyperthermic epileptiform-like population spikes Gamma oscillations are defined as coherent cortical oscillations at (30-100 Hz) band frequency frequencies in in vivo and in vitro models. In hippocampal slice preparations, oscillations can be triggered by high frequency tetanic stimuli, called post-tetanic oscillations [ 10 11 12 13 ] . In addition to post-tetanic oscillations, the oscillations also can be elicited by metabotropic glutamate receptor agonists, carbacol, or free extracellular Mg 2+ [ 18 19 ] . In this study, we report that oscillations can occur in a model of a clinical disorder, namely hyperthermia. Hyperthermic epileptiform-like population spikes occur within the band of frequencies (30-100 Hz). Post-tetanic oscillations can be mimicked by hyperthermic stimulation in the same slice. Tetanic stimulation at high intensity induces initial oscillations followed by a slow SD which resembles hyperthermic epileptiform-like population spikes followed by a slow SD. Finally, both post-tetanic oscillations and hyperthermic epileptiform-like population spikes were completely blocked by a GABA A receptor antagonist, BMI. This experimental evidence suggests that the GABA A receptor-governed oscillations underlie the hyperthermic population spikes in our in vitro model system. Possible mechanisms of hyperthermic oscillation Accumulating lines of evidence demonstrate that the genesis mechanisms for post-tetanic oscillations involve slow GABA A receptor-mediated depolarization, extracellular K +elevation and field effects [ 10 11 12 13 ] . The present study showed that these three major factors also underlie hyperthermic oscillations. As shown in Fig. 1Aand 2A, the hyperthermic oscillations always overlie the slow membrane depolarizations. For post-tetanic oscillations, the slow depolarizations were mediated by tetanic stimulation-induced GABAergic depolarizing action [ 20 21 22 23 ] . This GABAergic depolarization is attributed to the tetanic stimulation-induced accumulation of intracellular chloride [ 24 ] and extracellular potassium [ 22 ] . For hyperthermic oscillations, heating causes a Na +/K +pump failure [ 8 ] , in turn resulting in the accumulation of intracellular Na +and Cl -, as well as extracellular K +, finally causing a slow membrane depolarization. In our previous report, the extracellular K +indeed elevated dramatically during hyperthermia-induced epileptiform-like population spikes and SDs [ 8 ] . Field effects further contribute to post-tetanic oscillations [ 25 26 ] . High Frequency tetanic stimuli leads to cellular swelling [ 27 28 ] , increasing extracellular resistance. According to Ohm's law, this increases the voltage deflection recorded for a given current flowing through this extracellular resistance. Current generated by the active population travels through the resistances of the extracellular space and of the nearby inactive cells, therefore producing the extracellular population spikes and meanwhile depolarizing the inactive cells. In this manner, inactive cells are brought closer to threshold, enhancing their opportunity to firing together [ 29 30 31 ] . The extracellular resistance is the major determinant of field-effect strength [ 32 ] . Since the extracellular volume fraction in CA1 stradium pyramidal is only 12% compared with approximately 18% in CA3 and granule cells [ 33 ] , the CA1 pyramidal cells are particularly susceptible to field effects. The accumulation of extracellular K +during hyperthermic SDs depolarizes membrane potential, which triggers initial oscillations. Cell swelling reduces the extracellular space, which triggers slow SDs [ 8 ] , (Fig. 1Aand 2A). In Fig. 6A, after blockade of synaptic transmission by kynurenic acid (7 mM), heating the slice still induced -oscillation followed by SD, suggesting that a non-synaptic mechanism (local field effect) may be involved in the generation of hyperthermic -oscillations and SDs. Figure 6Bdemonstrated that hyperthermic -oscillations disappear in the presence of an intracellularly delivered Na +channel blocker (QX 314, 30 mM). Gamma oscillations and seizures Epileptic activity can result from an imbalance between glutamatergic excitation and GABAergic inhibition. However, this simple balance model has been challenged by findings that GABAergic transmission remains effective in some epilepsy models, in epileptogenic human tissue [ 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 ] , and by current findings of the excitatory effects of GABA [ 18 22 23 ] . Therefore, the GABA excitatory effects may work as a possible ictogenic mechanism under some special condition such as tetanic stimulation. Indeed, recently Khling et al. reported that under epileptogenic condition (free Mg 2+in ACSF), band oscillations arise from GABAergic depolarizations and that this activity may lead to the generation of ictal discharges [ 18 ] . It has been reported that prolonged periods of oscillations are associated with temporal lobe seizures in in vivo rats [ 41 ] . Furthermore, human EEG studies with subdural recording electodes showed that a band oscillation could be recorded at the start of typical seizure activity [ 42 ] . In this respect, the hyperthermic oscillations may also play a critical role in generation of neuronal epileptiform activity. The extent to which the hyperthermic slice serves as a model of febrile seizures remains to be determined. If oscillations do prove to be important in clinical febrile seizures, then future work might profitably examine the therapeutic potential of mild disinhibition to disrupt inhibitory GABA-mediated synchrony at the start of ictal activity. Conclusions In the in vitro hippocampal slice preparation, hyperthermia-induced epileptiform-like population spikes are at band frequencies, and can be blocked by BMI. Therefore, the GABA A receptor-governed oscillations underlie the hyperthermic population spikes in immature hippocampal slices. Materials and methods Experiments were performed on transverse hippocampal slices prepared from Sprague-Dawley rats, ages 17 to 29 days. Rats were anesthetized with halothane and decapitated. The brain tissue was removed rapidly and placed in iced artificial cerebrospinal fluid (ACSF). Brain tissue was then glued to a cryotome, and a few 450-500 transverse slices were cut through the hippocampal formations. Slices were allowed to incubate and recover for at least an hour in room temperature ACSF comprised of the following composition (mM): NaCl 117; KCl 5.4; NaHCO 3 26; MgSO 4 1.3; NaH 2 PO 4 1.2; CaCl 2 2.5; glucose 10, continuously bubbled with 95% O 2 plus 5% CO 2 . Slice were transferred one at a time to the recording chamber (FST, air-liquid interface chamber), and suspended on nylon net at the interface. Carbogen (95% O 2 plus 5% CO 2 ) was bubbled across the upper surface of the slice. Temperature was regulated by a feedback circuit, accurate to 0.5 0.2C. Baseline temperature was 34C. After verification of evoked population spike stability for three consecutive stimuli over a time course of 15-30 minutes, bath temperature set-point was increased to 41C and notation was made of actual temperature measured by a thermistor probe. Extracellular field potentials were recorded with a borosilicate glass micropipette pulled to a tip diameter of 1 , filled with 2 M sodium chloride and with resistance approximately 1-10 M. Intracellular recordings were performed with a pulled-glass fine tip micropipette (< 1 ), with resistance approximately 80-110 M, filled with 4 M potassium acetate. Hyperthermic spreading depressions (SDs) were considered to have occurred when all of the following conditions were met: 1. At least 10 mV extracellular negativity; 2. Duration of extracellular negativity at the half-height of at least 10 seconds; 3. Loss of evoked field in CA1; and recovery of field to at least 50% of control amplitude within 30 minutes of cooling to baseline temperature. Electrophysiological data were stored on a computer (Axon scope), and played back on a laser printer. Slow potentials, including extracellular field during SD also were recorded on a continuous rectilinear chart recorder. To measure oscillation frequency, we chose a slice oscillation range beginning at 200 ms, then used the "frequency count" function of the Origin program to get average frequency from each slice. Chemicals used in the experiment consisted of bicuculline methiodide (BMI), kynurenic acid (Sigma, St. Louis, MO) and QX-314 (Tocris). All animal experiments were in accord with Institutional animal welfare committee guidelines. Background Nociceptors are specialized primary afferent neurons and the first cells in the series of neurons that lead to the sensation of pain [ 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 ] . The receptors in these cells can be activated by different noxious chemical or physical stimuli [ 9 10 11 ] . The essential functions of nociceptors include the transduction of noxious stimuli into depolarizations that trigger action potentials, conduction of action potentials from peripheral sensory sites to synapses in the central nervous system, and conversion of action potentials into neurotransmitter release at presynaptic terminals, all of which depend on ion channels [ 6 12 13 14 15 16 ] . Recent expression cloning has led to the identification of the first pain sensory receptor. The cloned receptor is called VR1 (vanilloid receptor subtype 1) [ 9 10 ] . The nucleotide sequence of VR1 predicts a protein of 838 amino acids with a molecular mass of 95 kDa. The predicted topological organization consists of six transmembrane domains with a hydrophobic loop between the fifth and sixth domain which lines the ion conducting pore [ 17 ] . VR1 has been expressed heterologously in several cell lines and has intrinsic sensitivity to thermal stimuli and to capsaicin (a pungent extract of the Capsicum pepper family) [ 18 ] . VR1 does not discriminate among monovalent cations [ 19 ] ; however, it exhibits a notable preference for divalent cations with a permeability sequence of Ca 2+> Mg 2+> Na + K + Cs + [ 9 ] . Ca 2+is especially important to VR1 function, as extracellular Ca 2+mediates desensitization [ 20 21 ] , a process which enables a neuron to adapt to specific stimuli by diminishing its overall response to a particular chemical or physical signal. Although not activated by voltage alone, VR1 currents show outward rectification and a region of negative resistance in the current-voltage relation. The VR1 channel is a member of the superfamily of ion channels with six membrane-spanning domains, with highest homology to the trp family of ion channels. For those ion channels within this superfamily for which stoichiometry has been directly examined, all have been shown to be composed of four six-transmembrane domain subunits or pseudosubunits, with auxiliary subunits sometimes present as well [ 22 ] . An initial characterization of VR1 channels expressed in Cos and CHO cells has recently revealed that, under certain conditions, they run as multimers on pseudo-native (PFO) gels, with tetramers being one of the primary bands observed [ 23 ] . Thus, like other six membrane spanning domain channels, VR1 almost certainly forms as a tetramer; whether it combines with homologous subunits to form heteromeric channels remains to be determined. In this study we have examined the electrophysiological and biochemical properties of VR1 expressed in Xenopus oocytes. We found that its apparent affinity for the ligand capsaicin is comparable to that observed by others. When examined for size on denaturing gels, we found that the monomer appeared to be a doublet and that there was a band that corresponded to roughly twice the molecular weight of the monomer bands. Through site-directed mutagenesis, we determined that the doublet represented unglycosylated and glycosylated forms of the VR1 subunit monomer and identified the glycosylation site as N604. Next, using a VR1 subunit engineered to be of different size, we show that the larger band on the gel represented dimerized subunits. Several mechanisms underlying dimerization were examined and ruled out. Since VR1 likely forms as a tetramer, the strong interaction we observed between pairs of subunits raises the question of whether this subunit interaction is involved in VR1 function. Results Electrophysiological and biochemical properties of VR1 We expressed VR1 channels in Xenopus oocytes in order to characterize their electrophysiological and biochemical properties. Using outside-out patch-clamp recordings, we studied the responses of the channels to capsaicin. Figure 1Adepicts a current family obtained using a saturating (4 M) capsaicin concentration when the voltage was stepped from a holding potential of 0 mV to from -100 to +100 mV. A current-voltage relation measured from these currents (Figure 1B) shows the pronounced outward rectification exhibited by VR1. This rectification has been shown to be independent of external divalent cations [ 24 ] , and is likely due to a combination of rectification in unitary conductance [ 9 ] and voltage-dependent gating [ 24 ] . Application of a lower concentration of capsaicin (0.5 M) activated a smaller fraction of the channels in this patch, giving a smaller overall current (Figure 1C). By plotting the normalized currents in the presence of 4 M and 0.5 M capsaicin on the same graph (Figure 1D), we show that the voltage dependence remains unaltered under both experimental conditions. Figure 1Eshows a dose-response relation for activation of VR1 channels by capsaicin for the same patch. Fits of dose-response relations with the Hill equation (see Experimental Procedures) yielded values of n = 1.8 0.06 and a K = 614 110 nM (mean of 5 patches). These values are similar to those previously reported [ 20 24 ] . These data indicate that in our system VR1 RNA is expressed as a functional protein with characteristics similar to those reported by other groups. To examine the size of VR1 with SDS/PAGE, we constructed a VR1 subunit with a FLAG epitope tag on its extreme C-terminal end (Figure 2A). By using both this C-terminal FLAG epitope and an N-terminal epitope for which a commercial antibody is available, we could determine whether the band(s) we observed corresponded to full-length VR1 subunits. When oocytes injected with VR1 RNA were examined with SDS/PAGE and Western blot, three bands were apparent (Figures 2B,2C,2D). Two of these bands were seen as a doublet at about 80 kDa and 84 kDa (best seen in Figure 2D). A third band of about 200 kDa was also observed. The size of these bands was the same for blots probed with the N-terminal antibody (Figure 2B) or the FLAG antibody (Figure 2C), indicating that they represent full-length VR1 subunits. For the remainder of this study we used the FLAG antibody due to the lower background it produced. Identification of the glycosylation site in VR1 A doublet of monomers has been previously observed for VR1 expressed in CHO cells [ 23 ] . In that case, treatment of cells with peptide- N -glycosidase F eliminated the larger monomer band, suggesting that it represented a glycosylated form of VR1. Although the difference in apparent size in that study was 19 kDa and we see a difference of only 4 kDa (Figure 2C), we wondered whether glycosylation might explain our doublet as well. We therefore examined the predicted amino acid sequence of VR1 in order to identify potential glycosylation sites (see Experimental Procedures). Figure 2Adepicts the proposed topology of the six transmembrane domains of VR1. A consensus sequence for N-linked glycosylation is located just distal to the fifth transmembrane domain at position 604. We introduced a point mutation to change the asparagine at position 604 into a serine (N604S). If indeed N604 is a glycosylation site, channels expressed from this N604S construct would be expected to lack glycosylation. Figure 2Dshows that in N604S channels the upper band of the doublet has been eliminated. These data indicate that wild-type VR1 channels expressed in Xenopus oocytes are present in both unglycosylated and glycosylated forms and that the N-linked glycosylation occurs at position 604. Once we determined that the N604S mutation efficiently removed the glycosylated form of the monomer, we tested to be certain that N604S channels were present in the plasma membrane and had electrophysiological characteristics similar to those observed in wild-type channels. We performed patch-clamp recordings on oocytes injected with N604S RNA. The results of these experiments are shown in Figure 3. Like for wild-type VR1 channels, capsaicin activated N604S channels in a concentration-dependent manner (Figures 3A, 3C, and 3E). Current voltage relations at both a saturating (Figure 3B) and a subsaturating (Figure 3D) concentration of capsaicin show that the voltage dependence of N604S channels is similar to that of wild-type VR1 channels (in Figure 3compare data from N604S channels [blue and red] to data from wild-type VR1 channels [green]): the ratio of the current at +100 mV to that at -100 mV is not statistically different from wild-type VR1. Furthermore, the dose-response relation in Figure 3Eshows that the apparent affinity of N604S channels for capsaicin is not significantly different from wild-type channels (t-test, p > 0.05), with n = 2.3 0.3 and K = 780 71 nM (mean of 5 patches). These data indicate that eliminating the N-glycosylation site of the VR1 channel gives rise to a functional protein electrophysiologically similar to wild-type VR1. Identification of the nature of the VR1 high molecular size band At 200 kDa, the third band observed in Figure 2was approximately twice the molecular weight of the monomer. We therefore suspected that it might represent a dimer of VR1 subunits. However, it could also arise from a monomer in combination with another cellular factor. To distinguish between these possibilities, we engineered a VR1 mutant in which amino acids 2-52 in the N-terminal were deleted (termed 2-52). This construct gave rise to a high molecular weight band of 180 kDa, 20 kDa smaller than that observed for wild-type VR1 (Figure 4). When coexpressed with VR1, heteromeric channels composed of both types of subunits are expected to form. If the higher molecular weight band does represent a dimer of subunits, the heteromeric VR1/2-52 ought to be intermediate in size between the homomeric dimers. When equal amounts of VR1 and 2-52 RNA's were coinjected into oocytes, three bands were observed: 200, 190 and 180 kDa (Figure 4). The 200 kDa band represents the homomeric VR1 dimer whereas the 180 kDa band represent the homomeric 2-52 dimer. The middle band, at 190 kDa, is indeed intermediate in size. Our interpretation is that this 190 kDa band is composed of one wild-type VR1 subunit and one 2-52 subunit, indicating that the high molecular weight band represents subunit dimers. Furthermore, quantification of the intensity of the bands on the gel revealed a 1:2:1 ratio of the three bands. This ratio of the three ways in which the two types of subunit can assemble is what would be expected if assembly between the different types of subunits were random. Next, as with N604S, we wanted to be certain that 2-52 expressed as a functional channel in Xenopus oocytes. The results of electrophysiological experiments are shown in Figure 5. We found 2-52 to form functional, capsaicin-activated channels in Xenopus oocytes. Although an increase in rectification was consistently observed with these channels, compared to wild-type VR1 (Figure 5B), the ratio of the current at +100 mV to that at -100 mV is not statistically different from wild-type VR1. Fits of dose-response relations (Figure 5E) with the Hill equation yielded a mean n value of 2.1 0.26, and a mean K value of 1.98 0.8 M; neither n nor K were significantly different from VR1 (t-test, p > 0.05, for 5 patches). Examination of putative cross-linking factors A previous study has reported that the presence of capsaicin and chemical cross-linkers influence the formation of multimers in VR1 [ 23 ] . Moreover, this study reported that cross-linking could be a Ca 2+mediated process, through the activation of endogenous transglutaminases. In our expression system, the presence of a dimer was seen even in the absence of capsaicin. Thus, we set out to study the factors that could be involved in the formation of this complex. Our first approach was to determine whether this dimer could be due to the presence of a disulfide bond between subunits. Although we have -mercaptoethanol in the sample buffer for all experiments, it is possible that a disulfide bond refractory to reduction by this reagent was present. We therefore used the stronger reducing agents DTT and TCEP in the biochemical assays, and used them in various steps of the purification (see Materials and methods). Figure 6Ashows the results for this experiment. The control lane represents the results obtained from oocytes processed under control conditions (with -mercaptoethanol as the only reducing agent). The next two lanes shown are those of oocytes exposed to the reducing agents DTT (100 mM) and TCEP (20 mM) both during processing and in the sample buffer. We quantified the ratio of intensity of the monomer band to the dimer band. Neither DTT nor TCEP treatment produced a difference in this ratio compared to the control condition (t-test, p > 0.05 for 3 independent experiments). These data indicate that the presence of the VR1 dimer is likely not due to an intersubunit disulfide bond. We next addressed whether Ca 2+could affect the monomer:dimer ratio in our expression system. Oocytes were processed for biochemical assays under the various experimental conditions depicted in Figure 6B. In the first lane we show protein obtained from oocytes exposed to Ca 2+(1.8 mM in frog Ringer's solution) but not to capsaicin; both monomer and dimer bands can be observed. When capsaicin and Ca 2+were added together, the ratio of monomer: dimer remained unchanged in comparison to the previous experiment (p > 0.05, for 3 independent experiments). We then tested whether eliminating Ca 2+from the oocyte media would affect this ratio. As seen in the last two lanes of this gel, the presence of EGTA (2 mM) did not alter the formation of the VR1 dimer, whether capsaicin was or was not present in the assay - the monomer:dimer ratio did not differ from control conditions (p > 0.05, for 3 independent experiments under the same conditions). Our data indicate that under our experimental conditions Ca 2+does not play a pivotal role in VR1 dimerization. Finally, we tested whether the transglutaminase inhibitors cysteamine and monodansylcadaverine (MDC) could affect this process. As shown in Figure 6C(second and third lanes), the addition of these compounds for 1 hr to the solution bathing the oocytes and to the homogenization solution did not modify the monomer:dimer ratio when compared to the control lane (p > 0.05, for 3 independent experiments). The concentrations of cysteamine and MDC used here are identical to those previously shown to disrupt transglutaminase-induced cross-linking of VR1 channels in other cell types (Kedei et al ., 2001). This result comes as no surprise since transglutaminases are known to be Ca 2+dependent [ 25 ] , and our previous experiment demonstrates that Ca 2+has no effect on the dimerization we observed. Discussion Unglycosylated and glycosylated forms of the VR1 monomer We show that, in Xenopus oocytes, VR1 is expressed in both glycosylated and unglycosylated forms, with ~4 kDa difference in their apparent molecular weights. The complete disappearance of the upper band of the monomer doublet for the N604S mutation strongly suggests that the extracellular linker between the fifth transmembrane domain and the P-loop of VR1 is subject to N-linked glycosylation. Moreover, since channel function did not appear to be affected by the absence of glycosylation (Figure 3), it appears that glycosylation at this site is not essential for correct folding and targeting of the protein to the plasma membrane. The position of the glycosylation site in the structure of the channels is in a region of known importance in channel function. Lying between the fifth transmembrane domain and the P-loop, this region contributes to the extracellular vestibule of the ion-conducting pore [ 26 ] . The vestibules of ion channels are thought to influence the permeation of ions [ 27 28 ] and in CNG channels it has been reported that elimination of the N-glycosylation site (which is in an analogous position between S5 and the P-loop) can induce changes in the apparent half-blocking constants for extracellular and intracellular Mg 2+ [ 29 ] . Whereas two monomer bands had been previously observed for VR1 expressed in CHO cells [ 23 ] , a major difference between this study and ours is the difference in size between the two monomer bands (19 kDa - about five times larger than we observe). On the other hand, Kedei et al . [ 23 ] show a doublet in channels purified from DRG cells, which express VR1 endogenously, that is similar to the one we observe. Further, unlike in CHO cells, no additional high molecular weight glycosylated bands were observed. Dimerization of VR1 As a member of the six-transmembrane domain superfamily of ion channels, VR1 most likely assembles into tetrameric complexes. Evidence that VR1 is capable of forming multimers has been previously reported when studied under pseudo-native conditions [ 23 ] . In this previous study, tetramers were the major band observed, although larger and smaller bands were also seen. Interestingly, there is precedent for an ion channel to retain some intersubunit interactions even on denaturing gels like those used here. The bacterial K +channel KcsA, whose X-ray crystal structure has been solved and is definitively a tetramer [ 30 ] , runs as a tetramer on SDS gels [ 31 ] . Furthermore, mutations that disrupt a known intersubunit interface at the level of the pore disrupt this biochemical tetramerization. The structural interactions that underlie tetramerization of KcsA on gels are disrupted only by heating the sample and by pH 12 [ 31 ] , treatments that had no effect on the dimerization of VR1 we observed (data not shown). Although it is tempting to conclude that the pH- and heat-resistent dimerization we observe with VR1 results from a covalent interaction, we cannot rule out other explanations such as strong hydrophobic interactions. What does a dimer observed on a gel mean given that the channels are almost certainly tetramers? Precedent for dimerization of limited domains of ion channels abounds. Cyclic nucleotide-gated channels, for example, appear to exhibit functional dimerization of their cyclic nucleotide-binding domains [ 32 ] . The "RCK" domain of BK channels has a dimerization domain even though BK channels, too, are tetrameric at the level of the pore [ 33 ] . Finally, the GluR2 ligand-binding core has a dimerization interface in the crystal structure [ 34 ] . Evidence, including the clustering of residues involved in receptor desensitization at this interface, suggests that the dimerization is not just crystallographic but functional. The dimerization observed in the above examples all involve ligand-binding sites. Given that VR1 is also a ligand-activated ion channel it is tempting to speculate that it may too contain such a dimer interface. Recent work identifying amino acid residues that likely comprise part of the capsaicin-binding site [ 35 ] suggest that capsaicin binds at the interface between transmembrane segment 3 and the cytoplasm. Could this be a point of intersubunit contact? Although the dimerization we observe may represent a native intersubunit interaction, other possibilities must be considered. For example, hydrophobic interactions can cause membrane proteins to aggregate during purification. Alternatively, a covalent interaction may link pairs of subunits. This possibility will be investigated in the future. Materials and methods Heterologous expression of channels in Xenopus oocytes Segments of ovary were removed from anesthetized Xenopus laevis. After gross mechanical isolation, individual oocytes were defolliculated by incubation with collagenase 1A (1 mg/mL) in Ca 2+-free OR2 medium (82.5 mM NaCl, 2.5 mM KCl, 1 mM MgCl 2 , 5 mM HEPES, pH 7.6) for 1.5-3 hours. The cells were then rinsed and stored in frog Ringer's solution (96 mM NaCl, 2 mM KCl, 1.8 mM CaCl 2 , 1 mM MgCl 2 , 5 mM HEPES, pH 7.6) at 14C. Oocytes were injected with 50 nL mRNA solution within two days of harvest. Electrophysiology Electrophysiological recordings and/or biochemistry were performed 4-8 days after injection. After brief exposure to a hypertonic medium, the vitelline membrane was stripped from each oocyte with forceps. Outside-out patch-clamp recordings were made using symmetrical NaCl/HEPES/EDTA solutions consisting of 130 mM NaCl, 10 mM HEPES, 1 mM EDTA and 10 mM EGTA (pH 7.2). Capsaicin was prepared as a 4 mM stock in dry ethanol and was added to the extracellular solution only. The solution bathing the extracellular surface of the patch was changed using a RSC-200 rapid solution changer (Molecular Kinetics, Pullman, WA). Unless otherwise indicated, all chemicals were purchased from Sigma Chemical Co. (St. Louis, MO). Pipettes were polished to a resistance of 0.3-1 M and immediately before use were dipped in a seal glue composed of one part light mineral oil, one part heavy mineral oil, and 10% parafilm beads to promote formation of high-resistance seals [ 36 ] . Currents were low pass-filtered at 2 kHz and sampled at a 10 kHz with an Axopatch 200B (Axon Instruments, Union City, CA). Data were acquired and analyzed with the PULSE data acquisition software (Instrutech, Elmont, NY) and were plotted and fit using Igor Pro (Wavemetrics Inc., Lake Oswego, OR). All currents shown are difference currents in which the current in the patch in the absence of capsaicin has been subtracted. All dose-response curves were measured at +100 mV at room temperature. Smooth curves shown in dose-response relations are fits with the Hill equation: where I is the current at a given concentration of capsaicin, Imax is the maximal current, K is the concentration of half-maximal activation and n is the Hill coefficient. Current-voltage relations were plotted using the data obtained from voltage jumps from -100 to +100 mV for 100 ms from a holding potential of 0 mV. Data was normalized by dividing the values of the current at different voltages by the value of the current at -100 mV. When pooled data are discussed in the text, they represent the mean standard error of the mean (SEM) A Student's t-test (two-tailed) was performed on some data, as discussed in the text. The significance level was set at p > 0.05. Mutagenesis A potential glycosylation site was identified by screening the predicted vanilloid receptor 1 (VR1) channel amino acid sequence [ 9 ] . A glycosylation consensus sequence of N-X-T/S was found at positions 604-606 (NNS). A point mutant was constructed as outlined below to replace the asparagine at position 604 with a serine. The mutant construct was designated as N604S. The point mutation and deletion mutation were constructed by a method involving oligonucleotides synthesized to contain a mutation in combination with wild-type oligonucleotides in PCR amplifications of fragments of the cDNA. The product of the PCR reaction was then cut with two different restriction enzymes to generate a cassette containing the mutation. The cassette was then ligated into the channel cDNA cut with the same two restriction enzymes. After transformation of bacteria with the ligation product, single isolates were selected, and the entire region of the amplified cassettes was sequenced to check for the mutation and insure against second-site mutations. mRNA was synthesized in vitro, using a standard reverse-transcription kit (mMessage mMachine, Ambion, Austin, TX). All constructs, including VR1, were made in a background of a VR1 subunit in which the FLAG epitope (DYKDDDDK) had been spliced on to the C-terminus. The presence of this epitope was found to have no detectable effects on the electrophysiological properties of the channels (data not shown). SDS/PAGE and Western blot Oocytes were prepared after the method of Rho et al . [ 29 ] . Typically 30 oocytes were lysed by trituration in 200 L of a solution containing 100 mM Tris-HCl, 100 mM NaCl, 0.5% Triton X-100, 0.05 mg/mL pepstatin, 0.05 mg/mL leupeptin, and 0.05 mg/mL aprotinin (pH 8.0) and the homogenate was incubated for 15 minutes on ice. The homogenate was then centrifuged at 18,400 g for ten minutes at 4C in a Jouan CR3i centrifuge. The soluble portion of the homogenate was then transferred to a new tube for an additional centrifugation. 10 L of supernatant was removed, mixed with 20 L of Laemmli sample buffer containing -mercaptoethanol (19:1) and incubated at room temperature for five minutes. The samples were then subjected to SDS/PAGE using NuPage 3-8% or 7% Tris-Acetate precast gels (Invitrogen Corp., Carlsbad, CA). Proteins were then transferred to a PVDF membrane and Western blot analysis was performed. For all blots except that shown in Figure 2B, M2 anti-FLAG primary antibody was used, and for the blot shown in Figure 2Ba polyclonal antibody raised against the N-terminal sequence of VR1 (amino acids 4-21: RASLDSEESESPPQENSC) was used (Neuromics Inc., Minneapolis, MN). Chemiluminescent detection was then carried out using the SuperSignal West Femto kit (Pierce, Rockford, IL). Chemiluminescent signals were captured with the Flourchem Imager (Alpha Innotech, San Leandro, CA), which has a linear range of 4 O.D. units. Densitometry of bands on Western blots was done with the Flourchem software. For comparison of the ratio of monomer to dimer, we included both monomer bands in the monomer category. Because of the large linear range of detection of our instrument, we could compare this ratio with accuracy even if the amount of total protein varied between gels. For SDS/PAGE experiments on disulfide bonds, the oocytes were treated as above, except that the lysis buffer contained either 100 mM DTT or 20 mM Tris (2-Carboxyethyl) Phosphine Hydrochloride (TCEP) (Pierce, Rockford, IL). To examine the effect of calcium and capsaicin on VR1 dimer formation, four different conditions were tested. For calcium-free condition, whole oocytes were rinsed three times with calcium-free frog Ringer's solution (96 mM NaCl, 2 mM KCl, 2 mM EGTA, 1 mM MgCl 2 , 5 mM HEPES, pH 7.6) prior to incubation with or without 10-20 M capsaicin at room temperature for 30 minutes. For calcium- present condition, whole oocytes were bathed in frog Ringer's solution with or without 10-20 M capsaicin for the same duration. The oocytes were triturated according to the method described above, except for the capsaicin-present condition, where 10-20 M capsaicin was included in the lysis buffer. For experiments on transglutaminase inhibitors, the oocytes were bathed for one hour in frog Ringer's solution containing either 20 mM cysteamine or 250 M MDC. These are expected to be saturating concentrations of the transglutaminase inhibitors. Oocytes were triturated according to the method above, except that either 20 mM cysteamine or 250 M MDC were included in the lysis buffer. Background Clozapine is a widely used atypical neuroleptic with affinity for multiple receptors, including dopamine, serotonin, alpha adrenergic, muscarinic and histaminergic receptors [ 1 2 ] . Although clozapine is effective in the treatment of schizophrenia refractory to traditional antipsychotic medication, it also has a number of significant side effects ranging from the potentially fatal but rare agranulocytosis to weight gain, constipation, seizures and urinary incontinence [ 3 ] . Urinary problems have been reported in the clinical literature with incontinence present in up to 44% of patients [ 4 ] and enuresis in 27% of patients [ 5 ] . Since clozapine has potent anti-muscarinic and anti-alpha adrenergic effects [ 2 ] , it has been proposed that peripheral effects on the lower urinary tract might be responsible for the micturition disturbances [ 6 ] . Incontinence has also been reported following therapy with other atypical neuroleptics such as risperidone [ 7 8 9 ] and recently, olanzapine [ 10 ] . We have previously shown that intravenous administration of clozapine to anesthetized rats [ 11 12 ] altered several micturition parameters including a decreased amount of volume voided per micturition and a concomitant increase in the residual volume. In addition, clozapine also inhibits the external urethral sphincter. Other, newer, atypical neuroleptics (e.g. olanzapine and risperidone; [ 13 ] ) were also found to have similar effects but with differing potency compared to clozapine. Since risperidone has little or no anti-muscarinic activity, a primary anti-muscarinic peripheral effect may be ruled out as the cause of micturition disturbances following risperidone administration, and suggest a possible central role for atypical neuroleptics in regulating micturition. The purpose of the present study was to determine the effects of clozapine administered centrally at two different sites, spinal (L6-S1 spinal segments) vs. supraspinal (lateral ventricle), on micturition and the external urethral sphincter during cystometry in the anesthetized rat. By limiting the application site to a specific area of the central nervous system and comparing the results with our previous findings after systemic administration [ 12 ] it might be possible to determine whether the effects of clozapine are mediated at a central or peripheral level. Moreover, a comparison of the two central routes might indicate whether the central effect involves spinal or supraspinal structures. We report in this study that most of the effects of clozapine on micturition are mediated by its central effects. Furthermore, there are differences in spinal versus supraspinal effects. Results Effects of central administration of clozapine on urodynamic parameters during single cystometry (Table 1and 2) Figures 1and 2show representative examples of the effects of clozapine on single cystometry in anesthetized rats after intrathecal (i.t.; L6-S1 spinal segment) and intracerebroventricular (i.c.v.; lateral ventricle) administration, respectively. Bladder capacity was increased by clozapine given i.t. or i.c.v. only at the highest dose tested (Fig 1G; 2G). After 50 nmoles of clozapine i.t. the bladder capacity was 0.47 0.09 ml, compared to 0.29 0.027 ml after vehicle administration (Fig 3A). Similarly, after 50 nmoles of clozapine i.c.v the bladder capacity was 0.51 0.11 ml, compared to 0.25 + 0.027 ml after vehicle administration (Fig 3A). Micturition volume was significantly decreased after 5.0 and 50 nmoles of clozapine i.t. (Fig 3B) to 0.11 0.031 and 0.08 0.019 ml, respectively compared to 0.18 0.022 ml after vehicle. In the case of intracerebroventricular administration, 0.5 nmoles of clozapine decreased the micturition volume to 0.11 0.02 ml compared to 0.16 0.018 ml after vehicle (Fig 3B). The effect of 0.5 nmoles of clozapine i.c.v. on micturition volume was significantly different from the effect of the same dose given i.t. Further reductions in micturition volume were observed after 50 nmoles of clozapine i.c.v. Residual volume was significantly increased after 5.0 and 50 nmoles of clozapine i.t. to 69 6.2% and 79 4.3%, compared to 34 7.5% after vehicle administration (Fig 3C). Clozapine i.c.v. resulted in a significant increase in the residual volume at all doses, including 0.5 nmoles. After 0.5 nmoles i.c.v. the residual volume was 54 8.5% compared to 33 7.4% after vehicle. This residual volume was not significantly different from the one observed after the same dose i.t. Larger doses of clozapine i.c.v. resulted in further increases in the residual volume to 62 3.8 and 80 5.2% after 5.0 and 50 nmoles, respectively. Clozapine i.t. or i.c.v caused an increase in the pressure threshold only at the highest doses tested (Fig 1G; 2G; 4A). After 50 nmoles i.t. the pressure threshold was 6.0 0.86 compared to 3.4 0.46 mm Hg after vehicle, whereas after i.c.v. administration the same dose increased the pressure threshold to 7.2 1.46 mm Hg compared to 2.9 0.29 mm Hg after vehicle. Clozapine i.t. or i.c.v had no effect on either peak pressure or contraction time in the range of doses tested (Fig 4B, 5A) in this study. Expulsion time was significantly decreased by clozapine at 5.0 and 50 nmoles either i.t. or i.c.v (Fig 5B). After vehicle i.t. the expulsion time was 2.4 0.3 sec, which decreased to 0.7 0.46 and 0.9 0.93 sec after 5 and 50 nmoles i.t. Similarly, after vehicle i.c.v the expulsion time was 3.0 0.28 sec and 5.0 and 50 nmoles of clozapine i.c.v decreased it to 1.8 0.35 and 1.3 0.39 sec, respectively. The effect of 5.0 nmoles of clozapine i.t. on the expulsion time was significantly different from the effect observed after i.c.v administration of this dose (Fig 5B). Clozapine also decreased the amplitude of (and in some animals even abolished) the high frequency oscillations (HFO) after i.t. administration (Fig 1; 5C). After 5.0 nmoles of clozapine the HFO were 0.4 0.23 compared to 1.5 0.1 mm Hg after administration of vehicle. In 4 of the 6 animals in this group, 5 nmoles of clozapine i.t. abolished the HFO. The reduction in amplitude observed at this dose after i.t. administration of significantly different from the effects observed after the same dose i.c.v. (Fig 5C). A greater dose of clozapine did not cause a larger effect although the amplitude of the HFO after 50 nmoles of clozapine i.t. was still significantly reduced (0.5 0.19 mm Hg) when compared to vehicle administration. Clozapine i.c.v decreased the amplitude of the HFO only at 50 nmoles (0.6 0.2 mm Hg compared to 1.6 0.11 mm Hg after vehicle administration; Fig 2), and the HFO were abolished in only 1/6 of the animals in this group. Effects of central administration of clozapine on the activity of the external urethral sphincter during single cystometry (Table 1and 2) Clozapine i.t. did not have an effect on the activity of the EUS during Phase 1 (the rising phase during a contraction), and only the highest dose of clozapine i.c.v (50 nmoles) was found to decrease the activity of the EUS (Fig 6A) to 62 14.9% of that seen during administration of vehicle. Phase 2 of the EUS EMG (occurring during the time of HFO) was decreased by clozapine either i.t or i.c.v. 5 and 50 nmoles of clozapine i.t. decreased the EMG to 37 24 and 40 14% of that observed during administration of vehicle, respectively (Fig 6B). In fact, in 4/6 animals, 5.0 nmoles of clozapine i.t. abolished the bursting pattern of the EMG observed during phase 2 (Fig 1F). Clozapine administered i.c.v at a dose of 0.5 nmoles decreased the EUS EMG to 68 13.9% of the activity observed after vehicle administration (Fig 6B). Larger doses (5 and 50 nmoles) of clozapine i.c.v further reduced the EUS activity during this phase to 54 8.4% and 26 9.9%. Clozapine i.c.v, however, was not observed to abolish the bursting pattern during this phase (Fig 2), except in 1/6 animals. Phase 3 of the EUS EMG (recorded during the falling phase of a bladder contraction) was not affected by clozapine administered intrathecally (Fig 6C). However, the largest dose of clozapine given i.c.v (50 nmoles) decreased the activity to 50 14.9% of the activity observed during vehicle administration. Finally, the amplitude of the bursts observed during phase 2 in the EUS EMG were decreased to 32 20.5% by 5.0 nmoles of clozapine i.t. (Fig 6D). A similar dose of clozapine i.c.v had no effect. However, 50 nmoles of clozapine i.c.v. decreased the amplitude of the bursts to 65 17.2% of that observed during vehicle administration. Discussion In the present experiments, central application of clozapine (intrathecally over the L6/S1 spinal segments or intracerebroventricularly into the lateral ventricle) resulted in a number of changes in the urodynamic parameters of anesthetized rats. The major effect of clozapine was to decrease the voiding efficiency of the bladder by inhibiting expulsion parameters, such as micturition volume, residual volume and expulsion time. In addition, the activity of the EUS also decreased upon central application of clozapine. One problem in delivering substances centrally is the possibility that peripheral spread may confound the results. Since clozapine crosses the blood-brain barrier readily [ 14 ] , the maximum dose selected in the present experiment was restricted to the first appearance of a decrease in blood pressure as an indication of possible peripheral alpha 1 antagonism due to peripheral leakage. We compared the effects obtained in the present study against those observed previously after intravenous administration [ 12 ] expecting that central effects would require significantly less application of clozapine than systemic administration. We considered a minimum difference of 10 magnitude in the central vs. peripheral dose that elicited a significant effect as an indication of possible central action. Our doses of 0.5, 5 and 50 nmoles of clozapine correspond to serum levels of 8, 80 and 800 ng/ml (assuming a blood volume of 8% of body weight) and are in the range of therapeutic levels (260-387 ng/ml [ 5 15 ] ). A second problem in administering a substance at a particular central location is that of redistribution to other parts of the central nervous system. Since application of a substance at the lumbosacral spinal level may travel to the brain after some time and vice versa, we established two criteria to help determine a possible central site of action: 1) the first dose to elicit a significant effect by either i.t. or i.c.v administration; 2) significant differences at the same dose but different routes (i.t. vs i.c.v). Figure 7is a summary of our findings when interpreted in light of the criteria stated above for determining (a) central vs peripheral effects and (b) spinal vs supraspinal site of action. The effects are presented as percent change over the control (vehicle) dose, for each of the central routes in the present experiment and our previously reported findings for systemic administration [ 12 ] . Theses changes are plotted at the dose (mg/kg) that first yielded significant results. The route that we consider most likely to be the site of action for clozapine is italicized. Bladder capacity was increased to a similar degree by an equivalent dose of clozapine, regardless of route (Fig 7A; 3A), making a determination of most likely site of action difficult. Given that the peripheral effects at low doses were similar to the effects after the highest central dose of clozapine (by either route) it appears likely that this effect is due to peripheral actions of clozapine. Bladder capacity was reported to increase following i.c.v. administration of muscarinic antagonist (atropine [ 16 ] ) or i.t. alpha2 antagonists (yohimbine [ 17 ] ; atipemazole [ 18 ] ). Given clozapine's strong affinity for muscarinic and alpha2 receptors [ 2 ] it is possible that central effects are also contributing to the increase in bladder capacity. Micturition volume, on the other hand, showed a reduction after smaller doses of clozapine i.c.v or i.t. when compared to the i.v. dose (Fig 7B; 3B). Therefore, central effects of clozapine in controlling micturition volume are likely. Furthermore, when comparing the effects of i.t. vs. i.c.v administration, a 5 nmoles dose of clozapine i.c.v. elicited a reduction in micturition volume that was significantly greater from the effects observed after the same dose i.t. (Fig. 3B). Therefore, supraspinal effects of clozapine in regulating micturition volume are likely with spinal effects perhaps contributing. Clozapine i.t. also decreased the micturition volume, however the dose that first showed a significant effect was higher than the i.c.v. but smaller than the i.v. dose. Spinal antagonism of either alpha1 or alpha2 adrenergic receptors was reported to increase micturition volume [ 17 ] in anesthetized rats. However, intrathecal atipamezole (alpha2 antagonist) increased residual volume in awake rats [ 18 ] . Therefore, it is difficult to interpret clozapine's effects on micturition volume in terms of spinal alpha adrenoceptor antagonism and possibly the supraspinal effects predominate. Clozapine given i.t. or i.c.v. also increased the residual volume (Fig 7C; 3C). Since the effects were observed at doses that were lower than those after i.v. administration, a peripheral effect of clozapine to increase residual volume appears unlikely. The smallest dose of clozapine given i.c.v. (0.5 nmoles) increased residual volume to 160% (Fig 7C), suggesting that supraspinal effects predominate with possible contributing effects from spinal sites. Ishiura et al. [ 16 ] reported a decrease in voiding efficiency (comparable to an increase in residual volume) following atropine i.c.v. or i.t. suggesting that muscarinic receptors at supraspinal and spinal sites are involved and may account for our effects after clozapine i.t. or i.c.v. A decrease in residual volume has been reported following spinal antagonism of alpha2 receptors with yohimbine [ 17 ] but atipamezole produced an increase in the residual volume [ 18 ] , similar to our findings with clozapine i.t. Clozapine increased pressure threshold after i.c.v. or i.t. administration only after 50 nmoles (Fig 7D; 4A). It should be noted that both central doses were at the range observed to result in cardiovascular changes and therefore the possibility of peripheral leakage of clozapine must be considered. Still the effective central doses are approximately 14 less than the first dose observed to produce significant results intravenously, and suggests a possible central site of action. Peak pressure was not changed by clozapine after either route in the present study after central administration, consistent with our findings afer intravenous administration [ 12 ] . Ishiura et al. [ 16 ] reported a decrease in maximal voiding pressure (equivalent to our peak pressure) after atropine i.v., i.c.v or i.t. in awake rats undergoing continuous cystometry. Given that clozapine has a relatively high affinity for muscarinic receptors [ 1 2 ] it is surprising that we have not seen an effect on peak pressure. Clozapine, and also olanzapine [ 11 13 ] were able to decrease the contraction amplitude after electrical stimulation of the pelvic nerve. Since the contraction pressures observed during cystometry were smaller than those observed after electrical stimulation of the pelvic nerve (and against a closed urethra) it is possible that the antimuscarinic effects of clozapine on bladder contraction pressure are not detected because during cystometry maximal bladder pressures are not necessary for emptying. Contraction time was not affected by clozapine i.c.v or i.t. (Table 1and 2; Fig 5A) however it was clearly decreased after intravenous administration [ 12 ] . Therefore, we suspect that solely peripheral effects may explain the effects of clozapine on contraction time. Antimuscarinic agents have been show to decrease contraction time (e.g. atropine [ 19 ] ) and since clozapine has high affinity for muscarinic receptors it is likely that peripheral anti-muscarinic effects of clozapine are responsible for the reduction in contraction time after systemic administration. Expulsion time was reduced by clozapine after i.t. or i.c.v. administration at much smaller doses than were observed to produce similar results i.v. (Fig 7E; 5B). Therefore, central effects of clozapine are likely responsible for the reduction in expulsion time. Since the intrathecal effects were greater than those observed after i.c.v. administration it is possible that a spinal action predominates with possible contribution from supraspinal sites. The amplitude of the high frequency oscillations observed during the expulsion time in the rat micturition cycle [ 20 21 ] was reduced by clozapine i.t. at a dose of 5 nmoles (Fig 8F). This dose was 10 smaller than the first i.c.v. dose observed to have a significant effect and approximately 142 smaller than the first i.v. dose to show a significant effect. Therefore, a spinal site mediating the effects of clozapine on the amplitude of high frequency oscillations appears likely. Previous results [ 12 ] suggest that D2 receptors modulate the amplitude of the HFO, since raclopride (selective D2 antagonist) decreased the amplitude of the HFO by 30%. In addition to clozapine's effects on urodynamic parameters, the EMG recorded from the external urethral sphincter also showed changes after clozapine i.t. or i.c.v. The EMG during phase 1 of the contraction only showed a reduction after the largest dose of clozapine i.c.v.. This dose is equivalent to our lowest dose i.v. and in fact all doses i.v. previously showed a significant reduction [ 11 ] . Intrathecal administration had no effect on the EMG at phase 1. The EMG during phase 2, corresponding to the period of high frequency oscillations was decreased by clozapine after i.t. or i.c.v administration at doses that were much lower than those necessary to produce an effect after i.v. Therefore, the effects of clozapine in reducing the EMG during this phase appear to be central in origin. Since the first significant effect was obtained after i.c.v. administration (Fig 7H) it is possible that supraspinal effects predominate with spinal sites contributing. The EMG during phase 3 (closing phase) of the contraction was decreased only after the highest dose of clozapine (50 nmoles) i.c.v. (Fig 6C). This dose was still 14 smaller than the first significant dose i.v. and therefore a central effect of clozapine is probable. Finally, the amplitude of the individual bursts of EMG recorded from the external urethral sphincter during phase 2 of the contraction also decreased after clozapine i.t. or i.c.v. (Fig 6D). Since the doses that yielded significant reductions were smaller than those observed after i.v. admnistration, a central effect is likely. Moreover, since 5 nmoles of clozapine i.t. produced a significant reduction when compared to the same dose i.c.v., a spinal effect of clozapine in mediating the reduction of the burst amplitude of the EMG is possible. In the anesthetized rat, the external urethral sphincter contracts and relaxes during the expulsion phase in a manner that is complimentary to the high frequency oscillations observed in the bladder pressure record [ 19 ] whereas in humans the external sphincter not active during voiding. Pharmacological blockade of the external urethral sphincter in the rat resulted in decreased micturition volume and increased residual volume [ 20 21 22 23 ] suggesting that the activity of the external urethral sphincter contributes to efficient voiding in the rat. Therefore, central administration of clozapine, by reducing the activity of the EUS, contributes to the decrease in voiding efficiency by reducing micturition volume and increasing residual volume. Alpha1 adrenergic antagonists have been shown to inhibit pudendal reflexes in anesthetized cats [ 24 25 26 ] . However, a systemic dose of prazosin (alpha1 antagonist) did not inhibit the EUS EMG activity during high frequency oscillations in the rat [ 27 ] . Thus, although alpha1 antagonism has been shown to modulate pudendal reflexes in the cat, their role in modulating the activity of the EUS during micturition in the rat appears unclear. In summary, our results in the present experiments suggest that most of the effects of clozapine on urodynamic parameters can be ascribed to central effects. Expulsion parameters, such as micturition volume, residual volume, expulsion time, and amplitude of the high-frequency oscillations, appear to be mediated by the central action (spinal or supraspinal) of clozapine. The activity of the EUS also appears to decrease after central application of clozapine. Therefore, central effects of clozapine appear to decrease the voiding efficiency of the bladder in the rat. Contraction time clearly showed a peripheral effect only, whereas changes in bladder capacity were difficult to explain from central effects and probably reflect peripheral effects of clozapine. Clozapine is metabolized mainly at the liver resulting in several metabolites [ 5 14 ] . One of the major metabolites, N-desmethylclozapine has been shown to have pharmacological activity both in vitro [ 28 ] and in vivo in rats [ 29 ] . In addition, N-desmethylclozapine is found in large concentrations in the serum of schizophrenic patients [ 5 15 ] and in rats [ 30 ] . The contribution of N-desmethylclozapine to clozapine's central effects has been questioned recently, since the levels of N-desmethylclozapine in the brain were much lower than those of clozapine [ 30 ] suggesting that N-desmethylclozapine does not cross the blood-brain barrier as readily as clozapine. Since we observed effects from central application of clozapine, we consider it unlikely that the effects of metabolites contributed significantly. However, whether any of the major clozapine metabolites also have a role in regulating micturition remains to be determined. Conclusions Atypical neuroleptics are useful in treating patients that are refractory to "traditional" antipsychotic medication and produce fewer extrapyramidal side effects. However, other side effects still occur with varying severity and frequency [ 31 ] and continue to pose a challenge to effective treatment. Urinary disturbances as a result of clozapine therapy have been well documented, and include incontinence, enuresis and urgency [ 4 5 32 ] . Other atypical antipsychotics, such as risperidone [ 7 ] and olanzapine [ 10 ] have been reported to produce urinary incontinence. We have previously shown [ 11 12 13 ] that systemic administration of clozapine, olanzapine and risperidone to anesthetized rats reduced voiding efficiency. Risperidone had smaller maximal effects than olanzapine and clozapine and had no direct (peripheral) inhibitory effects on the amplitude of bladder contractions. In the present study we show that clozapine acts at supraspinal and spinal sites to inhibit certain urodynamic parameters and the external urethral sphincter of the rat resulting in decreased voiding efficiency. If these effects also occur in patients, they may contribute to the urinary disturbances reported following clozapine therapy. The exact receptor types (or combination of receptor types) responsible for clozapine's central effects on micturition were not investigated in the present study. However, isolating particular receptors that contribute to the effects of clozapine might be useful in designing neuroleptics that may avoid these side effects or in providing an adjunct therapy to relieve some of the side effects. Materials and Methods Surgical procedures The experiments were conducted in compliance with the USDA Animal Welfare Act and amendments thereto and the revised Guide for the Care and use of Laboratory Animals DHEW (NIH) and were approved by the Animal Studies Subcommittee of the Bay Pines Veterans Administration Medical Center. Surgical procedures have been described in detail elsewhere [ 12 ] . Rats (female Sprague-Dawley; n = 16; 230-270 g; Harlan; IN) were anesthetized with halothane and placed on a heating pad. A catheter (PE-50) was introduced into the jugular vein to administer urethane (1.1 g/kg) over a period of 20 minutes while decreasing the level of halothane to prevent respiratory depression. Rats were instrumented with either an intrathecal cannula placed over the L6/S1 spinal segment or a cannula into the right lateral ventricle. An incision was made over the dorsal aspect of the neck and the overlying muscles were retracted to expose the atlanto-occipital membrane. An intrathecal catheter (PE 10) was introduced through a small slit in the atlanto-occipital membrane and positioned over the L6/S1 spinal cord segments [ 33 ] . Saline soaked gelfoam was placed around the catheter and the neck muscles and skin were sutured. Spinal segmental location of the catheter was verified post-mortem by performing a laminectomy. Following a small craniectomy, a stainless-steel cannula (27 ga) was placed in the lateral ventricle at the following coordinates: AP - 1.0, ML = 1.2; V= 3.2 mm [ 34 ] . The cannula was held in place with skull screws and dental acrylic. At the end of the experiment, 5 l of fast-green (1%) was infused through the cannula while observing the CSF though a small slit in the atlanto-occipital membrane. Almost immediate visualization of the fast-green in the fourth ventricle was taken to indicate appropriate placement of the cannula into the lateral ventricle. After an abdominal incision, both ureters were tied distally and cut centrally and allowed to drain onto cotton gauzes that were directed outside the animal. A catheter (PE-90) was introduced into the bladder dome and tied in place with a purse string suture. A catheter (PE-50) was introduced into the right femoral artery for blood pressure recording. Stainless-steel wires (0.003 in.; A-M Systems; WA) insulated except at the tip were introduced into the external urethral sphincter for EMG recording (DAM 50; WPI; bandwidth= 3 to 3 kHz; gain: 1000-10,000). Urodynamic studies In pilot animals, the dose and duration of effects was determined by administering clozapine (saline, 0.5,5,50,100 nmoles) at 10 min intervals either intrathecally (n = 2) or intracerebroventricularly (n = 2) during continuous cystometry (infusion rate = 0.11 ml/min) while recording bladder pressure, external urethral sphincter EMG, and blood pressure. Fifty (50) nmoles of clozapine administered by either route resulted in a decrease in arterial pressure (mean decrease in MAP was 20 2 and 15 3 mm Hg for intrathecal and intracerebroventricular administration, respectively. The onset time ranged from 1-1.5 min from the start of the infusion). Since clozapine has alpha1 antagonist effects [ 2 ] it is possible that the blood pressure decreases were due to spread of clozapine into the periphery following central administration. Doses smaller than 50 nmoles did not elicit a drop in arterial pressure. In addition, 50 nmoles represents a dose close to the smallest intravenous dose used previously (0.1 mg/kg [ 12 ] ). Therefore, during single cystometry, the dose range was limited to 0.5 to 50 nmoles in order to reduce possible peripheral spread of clozapine. Single cystometry studies were conducted as follows. The bladder was emptied and allowed to equilibrate to air pressure for 5 minutes before beginning each cystometrogram. Room temperature saline was infused into the bladder (0.11 ml/min) while recording bladder pressure and the infusion was stopped when a contraction occurred. Volume expelled was determined by placing cotton gauze at the urinary meatus and weighing before and after micturition. External urethral sphincter EMG (EUS-EMG) was recorded throughout the cystometrogram and for some time after the filling had stopped. Increasing doses of clozapine (Sigma, vehicle, 0.5, 5, 50 nmoles in a volume of 5 l; followed by a 7 l saline wash) were administered through the intrathecal catheter (n = 6; Mean weight = 245 gm) or through the intracerebroventricular cannula (n = 6; Mean weight = 245 gm) at approximately 10-minute intervals. Clozapine was dissolved in a minimal amount of 0.1 N hydrochloric acid, and brought up to volume with saline (final pH = 6). Cystometrograms were started approximately 3 minutes after each drug administration. At the end of the experiment the rat was euthanized with an overdose of urethane (3.0 mg/kg; i.v.). Data analysis Bladder pressure, EUS-EMG and blood pressure during the single cystometrograms were displayed in an electronic chart recorder (RC Electronics; Goleta, CA) and analyzed off-line (Dataview, W.J. Heitler, U. St Andrews, Scotland). The following parameters were examined from the cystometrogram as described in detail earlier [ 12 ] : bladder capacity (amount of fluid infused to elicit a contraction); micturition volume (amount of fluid expelled); residual volume ([bladder capacity-micturition volume]/[bladder capacity] 100); pressure threshold (pressure at which contraction begins); peak pressure (maximal pressure during contraction); contraction time; expulsion time (time between peak pressure and end of high frequency oscillations); amplitude of high frequency oscillations. The EMG activity was examined by dividing the bladder contraction into three phases in a modification of the technique of Chien et al. [ 19 ] a contraction phase (phase 1); an expulsion phase (phase 2) and a closing phase (phase 3). The raw EMG was rectified, integrated (0.5 second bin) and the area under curve of the EMG corresponding to each phase of the bladder contraction was measured (Sigma Scan/Image; Jandel Scientiflcs, San Rafael, Ca). Drug effects for the EMG were calculated as percent of control. Values are presented as Mean + S.E.M. Repeated measures ANOVA (GB Stat; Dynamic Microsystems; MD) were performed on all parameters and when statistical significance (p<0.05) was obtained, comparisons between control and different drug dosages and between different routes (i.t. vs. i.c.v.) were made using Fisher's protected t-test [ 35 ] . List of Abbreviations CMG = cystometrogram EMG = electromyogram EUS = external urethral sphincter HFO = high frequency oscillations i.c.v. = intracerebroventricular i.t. = intrathecal i.v. = intravenous Background In the Northern Great Plains of the United States, stand density of cultivars within hard red winter wheat (HRWW; Triticum aestivum L.) varies in the spring, depending on the severity of winter. Generally, northern selections have the greatest chance of maintaining stands when compared to southern-selected cultivars [ 1 ] . However, this distinction among cultivars happens only when plants receive adequate cold induction. This occurs naturally in the autumn after planting [ 2 ] . It also may be initiated in the laboratory during a period of 4 to 6 wk at near freezing temperatures [ 3 ] . Kenefick and Swanson [ 4 ] described this interval of induction as "cold acclimation". Several physiological and biochemical changes distinguish plant genotypes during and after cold acclimation [ 5 6 7 8 9 10 ] . One such distinction among genotypes is tissue water content that decreases more rapidly in certain genotypes than others during the cool autumn season [ 11 12 13 ] . Martin [ 11 ] observed from field results that northern selections contained less tissue water in late autumn than did those selected farther south where winter freezing conditions are less severe. Nass [ 14 ] observed similar differences in plant water content among winter wheat and rye ( Secale cereale L.) cultivars. The reduction of tissue water content in response to low temperature is believed to be due to an impedance of water uptake by the roots [ 15 ] . Reduced root hydraulic conductance occurs shortly after plants are transferred from warm to cooler temperatures. Bolger et al. [ 16 ] observed this effect within a few hours after cotton ( Gossypium hirsutum L.) plants were transferred from 30 to 18C. Similarly, Malone [ 17 ] observed a decrease in hydraulic conductance of spring wheat roots within minutes after plants were transferred from 22 to 8C. However our research focuses on effects of a sustained cold acclimation period as occurs in late autumn rather than on changes due to transient temperature shifts. The effect of cool temperatures on lowering water content in northern-selected cultivars could result from i) inhibited plant water uptake, or ii) plant water loss exceeding uptake. If autumn temperatures impede water uptake, causing greater reduction of tissue water content in northern HRWW plants as suggested by Limin and Fowler [ 15 ] , then we hypothesized that less water would be removed from soil at 2C by northern-selected than by southern cultivars. This hypothesis was tested by comparing foliage water content and plant water uptake of a northern and a southern cultivar at 2C and a photosynthetic photon flux density (PPFD) at or near light compensation. Results and Discussion Evidence for lack of photosynthesis net gain during 2C treatment Under the cold acclimation condition of a PPFD of 4 mol m -2s -1and 2C both FR and FS plants maintained a healthy green color after 6 wk at 2C, and resumed growth when re-hydrated and returned to 25C. When the mean foliage dry weight (FDW) of six plants per cultivar (and each treatment interval) were plotted against durations of 0, 2, 4, or 6 wk at 2C, the slopes representing rate of FDW change of each cultivar were not significantly different from zero (data not shown). It was concluded that plants were near or at light compensation. Evidence of foliage water content decrease in FR and FS plants at 2C To evaluate the laboratory system in relation to reported field results, changes in foliage water content were measured in FR and FS plants after 5 wk at 2C. Foliage water content decreased to 0.77 g H 2 Og FFW -1in FS plants compared to 0.63 g H 2 Og FFW -1in FR plants. This reflected a greater reduction of foliage water content for FR plants since the starting amount of each was 0.85 g H 2 Og FFW -1. Thus even with this approximate measurement of plant water status a differential in foliage water content of FR and FS was demonstrated after 2C exposure. A further test was performed to determine to what extent foliage water content decreased in plants maintained under our laboratory conditions. Foliage water content values were determined from the foliage wet weight and dry weight values as described in methods. The 48 hr drying at 80C ensured the complete drying of the sample and thus accurate determination of foliage dry weight. A similar reduction in foliage water content of FR and FS plants was shown after 4 wk at 2C (Fig. 1A). However after 6 wk there was a greater reduction of foliage water content in FR plants, amounting to 14% compared to only 5.8% for FS plants. Thus a differential reduction in foliage water content of FR plants is comparable to that observed in northern and southern-selected HRWW genotypes observed in the field by Martin [ 11 ] and Nass [ 14 ] in late autumn. Evidence for differential plant water uptake between FR and FS plants at 2C Having ascertained that at 2C and low light intensity foliage water content differentially decreased in FR and FS plants as described for field grown plants, we proceeded to gravimetrically measure plant water uptake from the soil. The design of the plant soil system for measuring plant water uptake was such that the possibility of water loss via evaporation was minimized. Thus reduction in weight of the system could only be attributed to removal of water from the soil by plants or plant water uptake. Mean plant water uptake was determined after 2, 4, and 6 wk at 2C (Fig. 1B). After 2 wk no significant difference was observed for FR and FS plants, 64 g H 2 Og FDW -1and 58 g H 2 Og FDW -1, respectively. Thereafter plant water uptake for FS plants remained effectively constant, whereas that by FR plants increased to 102 g H 2 O by the end of 6 wk (Fig. 1B). In summary, plant water uptake occurred for both FR and FS plants at 2C. However over the entire 6 wk water uptake by FR plants was greater than that by FS plants. Similar results were also obtained in a 5 wk study comparing plant water uptake between FR and FS plants. Detection of maximum plant water uptake by FR plants at 2C The above findings that FR plants with the greater plant water uptake have significantly lower foliage water content than FS plants could reflect more rapid loss of foliage water by FR plants, or limiting soil water available to FR due to its rapid rate of plant water uptake. To test the latter, FR plant water uptake was measured with increased initial soil water content. The initial amount of water was increased from 50 mL cylinder -1(Fig. 1) to 58 mL (Fig. 2A) or to 81 mL (Fig. 2B) by increasing cylinder size and the soil mass while maintaining soil matric potential constant. The rate of plant water uptake was calculated from a slope of plant water uptake plotted against time in wk at 2C. From the 58 mL supply the rate was 20.3 g H 2 Owk -1(Fig. 2A), compared to 19.5 g H 2 Owk -1from the 81 mL supply (Fig. 2B). Similarity of slopes suggested that 58 mL was adequate to sustain maximum water uptake of FR plants. However, the availability of more water initially from the 81 mL supply resulted in a foliage water content decrease that approached that of plants initially provided with 58 mL. Thus we provided evidence that inadequate soil water during the 5 wk period was not the cause of the decrease in FR foliage water content. Foliage water content and plant water uptake of northern-selected HRWW genotypes at 2C In order to determine whether the relationship between foliage water content reduction and plant water uptake was a general phenomenon among other northern-selected HRWW genotypes, four additional HRWW cultivars were studied. These cultivars together with FR have excellent freeze survival records and are used as standards in the Northern Great Plains field trials [ 18 19 ] . Foliage water content changes are depicted in Fig. 3A& 3B. Foliage water content of Winoka, Norstar, and Rose was shown to be the same after 2 wk as before 2C exposure (Fig. 3A). After 6 wk, foliage water content of Winoka, Norstar, and Rose all decreased to similar amounts of 0.63, 0.62, 0.64 g H 2 Og FFW -1respectively, compared to the 0 wk value of 0.82 g H 2 Og FFW -1. Foliage water content among Winoka, Arapahoe, and YTO-117 plants were compared (Fig. 3B). All values decreased slightly after 2 wk, compared to that of 0.81 g H 2 Og FFW -1before 2C exposure (Fig. 3B). However after 6 wk at 2C foliage water content decreased by Winoka, Arapahoe, and YTO-117 plants to 0.60, 0.55 and 0.64 g H 2 Og FFW -1respectively compared to the initial 0.81 g H 2 Og FFW -1(Fig. 3B). A slightly larger foliage water content value after 6 wk for Winoka in Fig. 3Acompared to that in Fig. 3Bsuggests lower relative humidity occurred during 2C exposure in Experiment B. Thus, it was demonstrated that the magnitude of foliage water content decrease in these four additional genotypes was similar to that in FR (Winoka) at 2C. As a group, foliage water content decreased appreciably after 6 wk. Results of plant water uptake are depicted in Fig. 4A& 4B. Water uptake by Winoka, Norstar, and Rose plants is shown in Fig. 4A. After 2 wk at 2C, water uptake by Rose lagged slightly behind Winoka and Norstar. However after 6 wk water uptake by Norstar and Rose were equal to Winoka, all increasing appreciably compared to plant water uptake values at 2 wk (Fig. 4A). Plant water uptake by Winoka, Arapahoe, and YTO-117 was compared (Fig. 4B). After 2 wk the amount was similar for these genotypes, with water uptake being somewhat larger than in Expt. A, based on the response of Winoka. After 6 wk, the pattern of water uptake by plants was also greater, although more variable (Fig. 4B). Under the laboratory conditions used in this study, the results of decreasing foliage water content with duration at 2C was similar to the findings of Fowler and Carles [ 20 ] , Nass [ 14 ] and Martin [ 11 ] . Their studies were performed on field grown plants and showed decreasing tissue water content during the Fall period. Fu et al [ 13 ] also demonstrated that tissue water content decreased during cold acclimation in the field or in an environmental chamber. In our study, decrease in foliage water content correlated with an increase in plant water uptake (Fig. 3& 4). Based on the assumption that stomata opened during the cold acclimation period, we believe that more effective water movement occurs in FR compared to FS plants at 2C. Osmotic potential difference between FR and FS plants account for this phenomenon. DeNoma et al. [ 19 ] observed that during low non-freezing temperature in the field a greater decrease in crown osmotic potential occurred in freeze-resistant compared to more susceptible HRWW cultivars. We have obtained similar osmotic potential results with leaf tissue (data not shown). Conclusions From this limited survey we have demonstrated that FR genotypes of HRWW have reduced foliage water content when acclimated under our laboratory conditions. We also demonstrated that plant water uptake increased with time at 2C. We conclude that reduced foliage water content in northern selected HRWW genotypes during extended acclimation is not due to impairment of root hydraulic conductance as proposed by Limin and Fowler [ 15 ] . Rather a tissue water deficit occurs because uptake is inadequate to replenish foliage water lost at this temperature. Our results suggest that the reduction in foliage water content observed among the northern-selected genotypes is due to greater stomatal conductance at 2C. Control of stomatal aperture is complicated. Under the conditions of these experiments, we have ruled out the effect of photosynthesis since the light intensity was not at a level that resulted in foliage dry weight increase during the cold acclimation period [ 21 ] . Willmer and Fricker [ 22 ] reported that stomata may close or open during cool temperatures, depending on plant genotype and species. It has also been reported that blue light is particularly effective in opening stomata at low irradiances, because of a generally recognized low threshold response. Further, that the blue light response of guard cells is independent of chloroplast-driven changes in CO 2 that can also cause stomata to open [ 22 ] . Thus, at an irradiance of 4 mol m -2s -1during 2C exposure, it is likely that reduction in foliage water content of northern HRWW cultivars is due to induced stomatal conductance resulting from blue light rather than from a photosynthetic response. Methods Plant material Two HRWW cultivars commercially grown in the Great Plains of United States were the primary genotypes investigated: 'Winoka' released in South Dakota [ 23 ] and 'TAM W-101' released in Texas [ 24 ] . According to South Dakota Experiment Station records, Winoka (northern selected) generally has a greater stand survival rank than TAM W-101 (southern selected) in the Northern Great Plains [ 25 ] . Therefore, Winoka was designated as freeze resistant (FR) and TAM W-101 as freeze susceptible (FS), a modification of the "cold resistance" terminology previously reported for HRWW cultivars [ 26 27 2 ] . Water status of four additional northern selected cultivars were also evaluated: 'Norstar' [ 28 ] , 'Rose' [ 29 ] , 'Arapahoe' [ 30 ] , and 'YTO-117,' an experimental line from Montana selected in 1956 (James Berg, personal communication). Soil mix and soil water (SW) adjustment The soil mix consisted of a 2:1:1 volume of silt loam (Vienna fine-loamy mixed Udic Haploboroll), sand, and peat, respectively, hereafter described as soil. Oven-dry soil (ODS) mass was determined after drying 48 h at 80C. The soil had a bulk density of 1.13 0.01 kg L -1and a maximum water holding capacity of 0.50 0.01 kg kg -1at a soil matric potential ( m ) of zero. Soil water was initially adjusted to maintain uniform particle distribution during and after the mixing process. Soil matric potential was evaluated by the tension table and pressure plate procedure [ 31 ] , with soil water values between 0.10 and 0.50 kg H 2 Okg ODS -1. The Van Genuchten function [ 32 ] was used to plot the data. Average soil water values from each sample were converted to m using this plot. Plant growth containers Plants were grown in butyrate cylinders with dimensions of either 3.8 19 or 4.4 19 cm (diam height). The bottom of each cylinder was closed with a polyethylene cap with two slits, where ends of a 1.3 23 cm (width length) wick of absorbent paper were inserted. These ends extended into the cylinder and aided in soil water distribution. Washed dry sand (30 0.3 g) was added to each cylinder. Next, the equivalent of about 160 g ODS was added to 3.8 19 cm cylinders, or about 225 g ODS to 4.4 19 cm cylinders. ODS mass was used to calculate the water required to attain the desired m for each experiment. Seed germination and transplanting seedlings Captan-treated seeds were germinated at 25C without light, on adsorbent paper wetted with 10 -4M CaCl 2 . Supplies for seed germination were either autoclaved, treated with 10% commercial bleach, or immersed in 70% ethanol. Seedlings were transplanted to soil 5 d after starting germination, one per cylinder. Plant growth At least a 14-h photoperiod was maintained in the greenhouse by supplementing sunlight with low-pressure sodium vapor lamps that provided a photosynthetic photon flux density (PPFD) of 150 mol m -2s -1. Plants were grown approximately 23 2 d in the greenhouse, the exact interval depending on optimum solar radiation 3 d prior to 2C exposure (this ensures enough photosyntate to sustain healthy plants during cold acclimation). Relative daily radiation was compared to full sunlight received on June 21 st, that was set at unity. Plants were discarded when they received less than 0.80 relative units of radiant energy during the final 3 d prior to 2C treatment. Incident radiation in the greenhouse was monitored daily with a 30.5 cm 2solar panel. Air temperature was maintained between 21 and 26C. During the final 5 d of plant growth before 2C exposure, soil in all plant containers was adjusted daily to the desired m with water. Plants were at the 4- to 5-leaf growth stage prior to 2C exposure. Plant exposure at 2C Cold acclimation was accomplished in a chamber set at 2C 1.5 Average daytime relative humidity calculated from wet/dry bulb measurements was 69% 4% during the day and 84% 5% at night. Nobel [ 33 ] reported that light compensation occurred at a PPFD between 8 to 16 mol m -2s -1with 350 mol CO 2 mol -1at 20C. At 2C, a PPFD of 4 mol m -2s -1(at canopy height) was used in this study, supplied from cool-white fluorescent lamps during a 11.5 h photoperiod. This is a 10-fold decrease from the lowest irradiance reported by Gray et al. [ 21 ] . According to the manufacturer's specifications, the spectra of the fluorescent lamps included bands at 370 and 450 nm. Measurement of plant water uptake (PWU) at 2C Before transferring seedlings to 2C, the wick exterior to each cylinder was removed. To further minimize evaporative loss, Parafilm (Am Natl Can) was snugly wrapped around the top of each cylinder and the plant culm. Evaporated soil water (ESW) was estimated from cylinders similarly wrapped, but with foliage removed just above the culm seal prior to 2C exposure. The amount of soil water removed from a cylinder during a designated time (t) consisted of both (PWU t ) and ESW t . The term (ESW 0 - ESW t ) below was the amount of water evaporated from a cylinder without foliage during the interval between t = 0 and a test interval t. Initial soil water content (SW 0 ) and final soil water content (SW t ) were gravimetrically determined from cylinders with foliage removed just above the culm seal at time of placement at 2C. The difference between the SW 0 and SW t reflected the amount of water taken up by the plants (PWU). Thus, PWU t = (SW 0 - SW t ) - (ESW 0 - ESW t ), At least two control cylinders (containing plants without foliage) were randomly spaced among plants during each experiment, from which the mean ESW t was calculated. PWU was standardized to foliage dry weight (FDW) of each plant. Preliminary tests compared FDW to total leaf area of six plants from each FR and FS cultivar, area determined with the Delta-T Image Analysis System (Dynamax Corp). Leaf area correlated with FDW therefore, relative PWU of FR and FS plants was expressed as g H 2 Og FDW -1. Foliage water content At the end of each 2C treatment interval, the foliage of each plant was excised 2 cm above the soil surface. Foliage water content (FWC) was determined from foliage fresh weight (FFW) and foliage dry weight (FDW) using the equation FWC = (FFW - FDW)FFW -1. FDW was determined after drying the foliage 48 h at 80C. FWC was expressed as g H 2 Og FFW -1. Authors' contributions All authors contributed equally. Background In response to local infection with necrotizing pathogen, plants display a whole plant enhanced immunity to secondary challenge (systemic acquired resistance or SAR) [ 1 ] . A characteristic set of genes termed pathogenesis-related ( PR ) is induced both locally and in distal tissues in parallel with SAR induction [ 2 ] . Accumulation of salicylic acid (SA) has been shown to be necessary for induction of SAR [ 3 ] . The Arabidopsis ndr1-1 mutant showed drastically impaired induction of SAR and PR-1 gene expression in response to infection with Pseudomonas syringae bacteria carrying the avirulence ( avr ) gene avrRpt2 [ 4 ] . This mutant is also incapable of showing a hypersensitive response (HR) to these bacteria [ 5 6 ] except at very high levels of inoculum [ 7 ] . The HR is a macroscopic leaf collapse. The HR occurs in response to infection with avirulent bacteria at levels of inoculum that cause a large percentage of leaf cells to undergo programmed cell death (PCD) [ 8 ] . In contrast to results with avrRpt2, P. syringae bacteria carrying the avirulence genes avrB , avrRpm1 , avrPphB or avrRps4 elicit an exaggerated HR relative to that on the wild-type Columbia parent [ 5 7 ] . In a study in which bacteria carrying avrB were chosen as a representative member of this class, in further contrast to results with avrRpt2 , these bacteria were capable of eliciting SAR and PR-1 induction on ndr1-1 mutant plants [ 4 ] . However, induction of SA accumulation by ndr1-1 mutant plants was impaired at early time points to a similar extent in response to bacteria carrying either avr gene [ 4 ] . These results suggested that at least two pathways control SAR and PR-1 gene expression. One pathway is directly dependent on SA accumulation. The second pathway is not directly dependent on SA levels. The correlation between ability to elicit the HR and to elicit SAR and PR-1 induction led to the model that the second pathway was caused by signals associated with hypersensitive cell death. Despite the severe impairment in SA accumulation within the first 12 hours post-inoculation of ndr1 plants, bacteria carrying avrB could nonetheless induce PR gene expression and SAR because of the HR-associated pathway. Bacteria carrying avrRpt2 could not because both pathways were impaired by the ndr1 mutation. This study could not address the question as to whether the HR-associated pathway alone was sufficient to induce SAR and PR-1 because SA accumulation did occur late in the response. Induction of SAR has been reported to be dependent upon the NPR1 gene [ 9 10 11 ] . In these studies, neither SA/SA analogs nor avirulent bacteria were able to induce SAR on npr1 mutant plants. The biological inducer of SAR tested in these experiments was P. syringae bacteria carrying avrRpt2 . In contrast to ndr1 plants, npr1 plants do show the HR in response to P. syringae carrying avrRpt2 (data not shown). These results could be taken to suggest that the HR-associated pathway is not sufficient to induce SAR in the absence of the NPR1 -dependent, SA-associated pathway (but see below for why this conclusion is not correct). In contrast to SAR induction, induction of PR-1 by avirulent bacteria has been shown to occur in npr1 mutants [ 11 ] . It is, however, reduced in extent and delayed. If npr1 mutants are indeed fully blocked in SAR induction, then the pathways leading to PR-1 induction can not be the same as those leading to SAR. However, we have argued on the basis of results with ndr1 mutant plants that HR "triggering" in response to the avrRpt2 / RPS2 combination is weaker than that in response to avrB / RPM1 [ 4 ] . Weaker "triggering" results in a lower probability of individual cells undergoing PCD early in the HR, prior to the onset of potentiation caused by increased SA levels [ 4 12 ] . Signaling elicited by avrRpt2 clearly differs in many respects from that directed by the other avr genes. Use of bacteria carrying avrB to elicit SAR would allow a more rigorous test of whether the NPR1 -dependent pathway is essential for SAR induction. To clarify the signaling circuitry governing SAR and PR gene induction, we have constructed a ndr1 / npr1 double mutant. This line was compared with wild-type Columbia Arabidopsis and both single mutant lines for the ability to display biological induction of SAR and PR gene expression. We conclude that SAR, PR-1 induction and PR-5 induction are regulated in parallel by the two pathways we have previously delineated [ 4 ] , but the effects of these pathways are additive rather than obligatorily synergistic. Moreover, additional pathways also contribute additively to PR-5 induction. Results Systemic acquired resistance elicited by DC3000 avrB If NPR1 is truly essential for SAR [ 9 ] , npr1 mutant plants should not be able to undergo SAR in response to P. syringae pv. tomato DC3000 (hereafter DC3000) carrying avrB . Alternatively, if HR-associated signals leading to SAR act independently of NPR1 , DC3000 avrB might be able to elicit SAR on npr1 plants. The results of this experiment are presented in Figure 1. Columbia, wild type plants showed a three order of magnitude reduction in growth of virulent bacteria in plants that had received a prior inoculation with DC3000 avrB . SAR was also displayed by ndr1-1 mutant plants. These results are comparable to those published previously [ 4 ] . Clear SAR was also displayed by the npr1-2 mutant. The SAR response was statistically significant (Student's t test, P < 0.05) for all three lines in this experiment and in a replicate experiment. This assay is not sufficiently sensitive to quantitate small differences in SAR between the lines. However, it is clear that all three lines did display SAR. As it is likely that both mutant lines are null alleles (previously established for ndr1-1 [ 6 ] and argued below for npr1-2 ), the hypothesis that NPR1 is essential for SAR is thus rejected. To test epistasis relationships between these mutants, a double mutant was constructed (see Methods). The double mutant was also tested for SAR in response to DC3000 avrB (Figure 1). Statistically significant SAR was seen at the two day time point but not at the four day time point (Student's t test, P < 0.05). In a replicate experiment, SAR was statistically significant only at the four day time point. The combination of the two mutations was thus sufficient to abolish most of the SAR response. Residual SAR may have been due to HR-associated signals in that the double mutant did display a HR to DC3000 avrB . The macroscopic HR phenotype was exaggerated, like that of the ndr1-1 single mutant (data not shown). Induction of PR-1 gene expression in response to DC3000 avrBand DC3000 avrRpt2 We have previously argued that PR-1 gene expression is controlled by two separate pathways [ 4 ] . One pathway results from SA accumulation and is dependent upon the NPR1 gene product. The second pathway results from signals correlated with the HR and is NPR1 -independent. The ndr1-1/npr1-2 double mutant was used to further test this hypothesis. The double mutant, each single mutant and Columbia wild-type plants were infected with 1 10 6bacteria mL -1. At this level of inoculum, most leaf cells did not undergo PCD (data not shown). Macroscopic tissue collapse was therefore not seen, allowing PR-1 gene expression to be quantitated using Northern blots. The data is presented in Figure 2. Columbia wild-type Arabidopsis showed high levels of PR-1 induction in response to either DC3000 avrB or DC3000 avrRpt2 . The level of PR-1 induction shown by either single mutant line in response to either bacterial strain was greatly reduced relative to that shown by Columbia. However, both single mutants still showed PR-1 induction at the two day time point in response to either bacterial strain. The level of PR-1 induction shown by the double mutant in response to DC3000 avrRpt2 was not significantly different from that shown in response to either DC3000empty vector or the MgCl 2 blank (Student's t test, P > 0.05). In this experiment, when there was no PCD and NPR1 activity was blocked by mutation, no induction of PR-1 resulted. By contrast, DC3000 avrB did elicit highly significant PR-1 induction (Student's t test, P < 0.01 for comparison to DC3000empty vector or blank). As NPR1 activity was blocked by mutation, PCD-associated signals likely explain the residual PR-1 induction. These results confirm the original model that the two pathways for PR-1 induction are additive. Induction of PR-5 gene expression in response to DC3000 avrBand DC3000 avrRpt2 The two postulated pathways acting in an additive fashion sufficed to explain bacterial induction of SAR and PR-1 gene expression. Experiments were next undertaken to extend the model to the control of PR-5 induction. DC3000 avrRpt2 or DC3000 avrB were inoculated into ndr1-1/npr1-2 double mutant plants, the single mutants, or the Columbia wild type plants. PR-5 gene expression was quantitated by Northern blots. The data is presented in Figure 3. At the one day time point, the double mutant showed significant impairment in PR-5 induction relative to wild type in response to either avirulent bacterial strain (Student's t test, P < 0.05). However, at the two day time point, only the impairment in response to DC3000 avrRpt2 was statistically significant at this level. If the criteria for statistically significant differences was relaxed to P < 0.1, then the same qualitative picture was shown as with PR-1 in comparison of single mutants to wild type Columbia. Columbia plants showed differences at this level of significance from ndr1-1 or npr1-2 plants in induction of PR-5 in response to DC3000 avrRpt2 at both time points. These results are consistent with contributions to PR-5 induction coming from both the HR-associated pathway and the SA/ NPR1 -dependent pathway. However, PR-5 gene expression occurred in spite of blockade of both pathways in experiments with DC3000 avrRpt2 and the double mutant. This result was very different from what was seen with PR-1 induction or SAR. Clearly, the two pathways we have delineated do not constitute a complete picture of signaling leading to PR-5 gene expression. Discussion PR genes are thought to be tightly associated with SAR because they are co-regulated with SAR [ 13 14 ] and because many PR gene products have been shown to have antimicrobial activity [ 2 ] . The complete impairment of npr1 plants in SAR induction [ 9 ] as contrasted with a partial impairment in PR-1 induction [ 11 ] in response to P. syringae carrying avrRpt2 challenged the hypothesis of co-regulation. However, avrRpt2 was shown to differ markedly from the other characterized P. syringae avr genes in the responses it elicited on ndr1 mutant plants [ 4 5 7 ] . The apparent challenge to the hypothesis of co-regulation could have been because of the choice of an atypical avr gene. Therefore, SAR and PR gene expression of npr1 mutant plants were assessed in response to a second avr gene ( avrB ). Markedly different results were obtained. Mutant npr1 plants were not fully impaired in induction of SAR, PR-1 gene expression or PR-5 gene expression in response to P. syringae carrying avrB . These results are consistent with the hypothesis of co-regulation. The apparent NPR1 -dependence of SAR induction in response to bacteria carrying avrRpt2 is likely quantitative rather than qualitative. A potential alternative explanation for these results might be residual function of mutant gene products in the plant lines used. The ndr1-1 mutant is an unambiguous null mutant in that a deletion removes most of the coding region and the proximal promoter region [ 6 ] . However, none of the characterized npr1 mutants have a large deletion [ 15 16 ] . As such, attempts to define allelic series have relied upon the level of residual function associated with these mutants in assays of gene expression or fungal disease resistance [ 15 16 ] . However, the complexity of signaling leading to these outputs complicates analyses of these phenotypes. A "null" mutant might still show gene expression or disease resistance caused by pathways that do not require the corresponding gene product. What is required is an assay where the output is due solely to an NPR1 -dependent pathway. The experiment presented in Figure 2provided such data. The combination of npr1-2 with ndr1-1 in a double mutant prevented the avrRpt2 -elicited HR under the conditions used. Under these conditions, DC3000 avrRpt2 failed to elicit any PR-1 gene expression (the level was statistically indistinguishable from that seen with inoculation of a MgCl 2 blank). Impairment of SA accumulation in the double mutant (Zhang, Gutsche and Shapiro, manuscript in preparation) resembled that in the ndr1 single mutant [ 4 ] at early time points prior to the onset of NPR1 -dependent negative feedback on SA accumulation [ 10 11 ] . Nonetheless, SA accumulation likely occurred by the time points taken in SAR and PR gene expression experiments reported herein. This assay depends solely on NPR1 function. The complete lack of PR-1 induction supports our contention that npr1-2 is indeed a null mutant or perhaps a severe hypomorph. This contention is further supported by published data showing that the npr1-2 allele failed to interact with putative target TGA transcription factor genes in a two-hybrid assay [ 17 ] or in an in vivo , reporter gene-based assay [ 18 ] . The treatment of npr1-2 seedlings with exogenous SA failed to induce increases in PR-1 gene expression under some experimental conditions [ 19 ] albeit not under all conditions [ 15 ] . The potential alternative explanation that results presented herein were caused by residual gene product function in the mutant lines used is thus not correct. The idea that SAR and PR gene expression are co-regulated has also been challenged by experiments with the eds5 and sid2 mutants [ 20 ] . These mutants have been implicated in SA biosynthesis. They showed impairments in PR-1 induction in response to bacteria that were very similar to those displayed by ndr1 plants but marginal if any impairment in PR-2 or PR-5 induction. Direct comparison with results presented here required addressing an issue with the potential to affect interpretation of that study. In that study, PR gene expression was quantitated from uninfected parts of leaves that had been infected with 1 10 8mL -1DC3000 avrRpt2 . This level of inoculum was sufficiently high to cause "false positive" spurious HR-like responses to DC3000empty vector [ 5 ] . Indeed, when sid2 mutant plants were inoculated with 2 10 7mL -1DC3000 avrRpt2 , no HR was seen (data not shown). The high levels of inoculum used in the cited study can only be used without causing "false positive" HRs if a bacterial strain that is not a pathogen of Arabidopsis is used to deliver the avr gene product [ 5 7 ] . When sid2 plants were inoculated with 1 10 8mL -1of a nonpathogen strain ( P. syringae pv. glycinea Race 5) carrying avrRpt2 , HRs were seen (data not shown). The identical results with the two bacterial strain backgrounds imply that the cited results with sid2 mutant plants were obtained under conditions in which high levels of bacterial inoculum overcame some effects of the mutation. The ndr1-1 mutation can also be overcome at high levels of inoculum. However, the level at which ndr1-1 phenotypes are overcome is higher than that for sid2 phenotypes in that 1 10 9mL -1of a nonpathogen strain carrying avrRpt2 is required to yield reproducible HRs on ndr1-1 plants [ 7 ] . Clearly, the interpretation of results with PR-5 induction depends critically on the experimental design. The relatively unimpaired PR-2 and PR-5 induction in sid2 plants might imply that the HR-associated signals were quantitatively more important than the SA-associated signals. The same two pathways invoked to explain SAR and PR-1 induction could potentially account for PR-2 and PR-5 induction if this assumption were correct. The results presented herein, however, argue strongly that PR-5 induction is indeed regulated differently than SAR or PR-1 induction. The two pathways identified as making the major contributions to PR-1 and SAR induction were shown to contribute to PR-5 induction. However, significant PR-5 induction occurred in the double mutant in response to DC3000 avrRpt2 (Figure 3). DC3000 avrRpt2 elicited HRs on Columbia or npr1-2 plants but not on ndr1-1 plants or double mutant plants (data not shown). As such, these results can not be explained by HR-associated signals or SA-associated, NPR1 -dependent signals. There must be additional pathways contributing to PR-5 induction. This conclusion is consistent with the original interpretation of PR gene expression data in eds5 and sid2 mutants that PR-1 and PR-5 are regulated differently [ 20 ] . The data presented in Figures 2and 3suggest that there must be at least two additional pathways contributing to PR-5 induction. DC3000empty vector did not elicit significant PR-1 induction on the double mutant at either time point (Student's t test, P > 0.05). However, the analogous experiment with PR-5 induction gave the opposite results. Moreover, at both time points, the PR-5 induction elicited by infection with DC3000empty vector was to a similar extent regardless of allele status at the NDR1 or NPR1 loci (no statistically significant differences, Student's t test, P > 0.05). These bacteria elicited PR-5 gene expression in spite of the absence of a functional avr gene, the absence of PCD, and mutations in both the NPR1 and NDR1 genes. As even E. coli has been shown to induce plant defense-related gene expression [ 21 ] , it should not be surprising that bacteria can elicit changes in plant gene expression via many different signaling pathways. Indeed, conserved features of bacteria can act as elicitors of gene expression through pathways distinct from those associated with gene-for-gene disease resistance [ 22 ] . However, an additional pathway leading to PR-5 gene expression that stems from avrRpt2 function must also exist. DC3000 avrRpt2 elicited no statistically significant induction of PR-1 by the double mutant at either time point (Student's t test, P > 0.05). However, clear induction of PR-5 was seen in the analogous experiment. The level of PR-5 induction was higher than in response to DC3000empty vector (Student's t test, P < 0.05). As the double mutant was susceptible to disease caused by this bacterial strain (data not shown), perhaps this residual gene induction was due to the virulence function of avrRpt2 [ 23 ] . Mutant npr1 plants have previously been shown to be impaired in induction of PR-1 but not PR-5 in response to virulent bacterial pathogen [ 19 ] . These details are presented in a model of the signaling network for induction of SAR, PR-1 gene expression and PR-5 gene expression by avirulent P. syringae bacteria (Figure 4). We have used a representation scheme proposed recently for plant signal transduction networks that is based on Boolean formalisms used in engineering and computer science [ 24 ] . Either of two "generators" shown can elicit signaling. One generator is infection of plants carrying a functional RPS2 allele with bacteria carrying avrRpt2 . The second generator is infection of plants carrying a functional RPM1 allele with bacteria carrying avrB . An "or" gate is used to show that either way of eliciting signaling resulted in accumulation of SA. The NDR1 allele status was represented with a "switch". The ndr1-1 allele was pictured as analogous to an electrical switch where the contact is in an open position, impairing early SA accumulation. The HR progresses more slowly in response to avrRpt2 than in response to avrB [ 4 25 26 ] . Evidence has been presented, however, that differences between HRs are not merely differences in kinetics [ 27 ] . As such, the avrRpt2 -elicited HR and the avrB -elicited HR were pictured as two separate components. When assayed under standard conditions, ndr1-1 mutant plants did not show the avrRpt2 -elicited HR. An "and" gate was used to show that both infection with bacteria carrying avrRpt2 and early accumulation of SA were needed to give the characteristic, "slow HR". By contrast, ndr1-1 mutant plants did show the HR to bacteria carrying avrB . A straight line that is not connected via a gate to SA accumulation thus leads to "Fast HR-associated signals". SAR is gated by an "or" gate with three possible inputs. As DC3000 avrB elicited SAR on the ndr1-1 / npr1-2 double mutant, neither of these gene products was essential for SAR induction. The early SA accumulation was not likely to have been essential either, because that was markedly impaired by the ndr1-1 mutation. However, the characteristic avrB -elicited, "fast HR" did occur in the double mutant. As such, a straight line deriving from "Fast HR-associated signals" is one of the inputs to this "or" gate. Another input is an "and" gate. The evidence requiring this gate is that SAR elicited by DC3000 avrRpt2 was prevented by either a npr1 mutation [ 9 ] or a ndr1 mutation [ 4 ] . We conclude that the characteristic avrRpt2 -elicited "slow HR" can only contribute to SAR in combination with NPR1 -dependent, early SA-elicited signaling, necessitating the "and" gate. The final input is SA-elicited, NPR1 -dependent signaling acting alone [ 10 ] . PR-1 induction is also gated by an "or" gate with three alternative inputs. The "Fast HR" alone (this study), the "slow HR" alone [ 11 ] , or SA-elicited, NPR1 -dependent signaling [ 9 10 11 ] were each sufficient by themselves to give PR-1 induction. Induction of PR-5 gene expression can also be via any of these three inputs acting independently. However, we (this study) and others [ 19 20 ] have presented evidence that other pathways can also contribute to PR-5 induction. As such, PR-5 is gated by an "or" gate. One input is a branch point from the "or" gate leading to PR-1 induction. The second input is pictured as a question mark. Evidence has been presented herein that this second input represents at least two pathways. However, the details of these pathways are not known and are thus not pictured. No attempt has been made to represent the kinetics of signaling events in Figure 4. Boolean formalism can incorporate kinetic information through use of gating delays. Differential equations-based kinetic modeling is an alternative means of capturing the rich dynamics of signaling networks [ 28 29 ] . As time-resolved data sets become available and feedback loops are delineated, it may be necessary to use these methods to understand system dynamics and control [ 30 ] . However, the authors agree with Genoud et. al. (2001) that the scheme used in that work and in Figure 4of this paper has advantages for representing the topology of signaling networks. This formalism allows clear differentiation of additive from obligatorily synergistic signaling interactions through use of "or" and "and" gates, respectively. Conclusions In conclusion, the additive effects of two pathways explain most if not all induction of SAR and PR-1 gene expression by the avirulent bacteria examined. One of these pathways stems from signals associated with hypersensitive cell death and is NPR1 -independent. The other pathway stems from SA accumulation and signals through NPR1 . By contrast, PR-5 induction by avirulent bacteria involves at least two additional pathways that also act in an additive fashion. Methods Bacteria and plant growth Pseudomonas syringae was cultured according to published methods [ 31 ] . Arabidopsis was grown in a HTPC walk-in chamber (Conviron, Winnipeg, MN) or a MTR-30 reach-in chamber (Conviron, Winnipeg, MN) as previously described [ 4 ] . Columbia, ndr1-1 and ndr1-1/gl-1 seed used were previously described [ 4 5 ] . Seeds of npr1-2 and sid2-1 mutants were generously provided by Dr. Jane Glazebrook (Torrey Mesa Research Institute) and Dr. Christiane Nawrath (University of Fribourg), respectively. Isolation and validation of the ndr1-1/npr1-2double mutant line The ndr1-1 / npr1-2 double mutant was generated using pollen from a npr1-2 plant to fertilize flowers of a ndr1-1/gl-1 plant. The success of the cross was validated by the hairy (non-glabrous) phenotype of leaves of the F 1 plant. DNA was prepared from leaves of 5-week old F 2 progeny from this cross for npr1-2 detection or cultured roots grown from F 3 seeds for ndr1-1 detection. The ndr1-1 deletion was detected by Southern blotting done essentially as previously described [ 6 ] . To make a radiolabeled probe, part of the NDR1 locus was amplified using ndr1-1 genomic DNA as template. The primers used in the amplification were as follows: 5'-TCCTAAGGTTTCGTTTTGGGTC-3' and 5'-GGGACGGTTTCAATTCTGTGATAG-3'. The resulting PCR product was gel purified. This PCR product was subsequently used as template DNA in a labeling reaction using the Radprime DNA labeling system (Invitrogen, Carlsbad, CA). The npr1-2 point mutation [ 15 ] was detected using a CAPS (cleaved co-dominant amplified polymorphic sequence) marker [ 32 ] . The primers used in PCR were as follows: 5'-CCTGATGTATCTGCTCT-3' and 5'-GCTTAATGCAGATGGTG-3'. The amplified products were cut with Fsp I to yield a 330 bp fragment and a 134 bp fragment if wild type ( NPR1 ) DNA was used as the template. Fsp I does not cut DNA amplified from npr1-2 mutant plants. Systemic acquired resistance experiments SAR experiments were performed as previously described [ 4 ] except that hand inoculation using a syringe was used instead of vacuum infiltration to introduce the challenge pathogen. Triplicate samples of four leaf disks each were used on Day 0, and quintuplicate samples were used on Days 2 and 4. Error bars represent standard deviations of data means. Significance of differences between means at a given time point were determined using Student's t tests. Values of P were read from a t table. A replicate experiment gave comparable results. In accordance with established practice in the field [ 33 ] , data was not combined between the two replicate experiments. Northern analysis Plant growth and inoculations were as described for SAR experiments. Leaf tissue samples were collected at indicated time points. Samples were flash frozen in liquid nitrogen and total RNA was isolated according to Nawrath and Mtraux [ 20 ] . RNA concentration was determined spectrophotometrically. 25 g of total RNA was used per lane. Gene specific probes were made from gel-purified DNA fragments using the Radprime DNA labeling system (Invitrogen, Carlsbad, CA). The template DNA used for making probes to detect expression of PR-1 , PR-5 and ROC1 (cyclophilin, used to normalize for RNA loading) were PR-1 and PR-5 cDNAs [ 14 ] and an Eco RI fragment of pCG22 [ 34 ] , respectively. AGI numbers corresponding to the genes used as probes are AT2G19990, AT1G75040 and AT4G38740, respectively. Northern Blots were performed using standard procedures [ 35 ] . Quantitation used a Storm PhosphorImager (Amersham Biosciences, Sunnyvale, CA). Authors' contributions CZ isolated the ndr1-1 / npr1-2 line used, established homogeneity of both mutations, carried out the PR gene expression studies, and contributed to preparation of the manuscript. AS conceived of the study, performed the genetic cross to make the ndr1-1/npr1-2 line, carried out the SAR experiments, developed the Boolean model of the signaling pathway, and contributed to preparation of the manuscript. Both authors read and approved the final manuscript. Background Meta-analysis has been defined as 'the statistical analysis of a large collection of analysis results from individual studies for the purpose of integrating the findings.' [ 1 ] Although there has always been some controversy about its validity [ 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 ] , meta-analysis has become increasingly popular as the number of studies with similar protocols has grown. By systematically combining studies, one attempts to overcome limits of size or scope in individual studies to obtain more reliable information about treatment effects. A meta-analysis goes beyond a literature review, in which the results of the various studies are discussed, compared and perhaps tabulated, since it synthesizes the results of the individual studies into a new result. A meta-analysis also differs from a 'pooled data' analysis because the summary results of the previous studies, not the results on individual subjects, are combined for analysis. Meta-analyses are fairly common in some fields of research and are relatively rare in others. In fact, a March 2002 Medline search revealed 1,610 articles with the keyword 'cancer', and only 19 with the keyword COPD and 41 with the keyword 'epilepsy' among the 9,055 articles indexed under meta-analysis. This may reflect a common belief that meta-analyses should be based on multiple clinical trials, which are very common in cancer studies and less common in other fields. However, a meta-analysis of small trials may provide sufficient information on treatment effects to avoid the delay and expense of a large-scale randomized clinical trial. If proper methods for selecting and combining studies are used, observational studies can also be included in a meta-analysis [ 9 10 11 ] . Guidelines for meta-analysis of observational studies have been published [ 12 ] . In particular, meta-analysis may be used for combining studies in research where clinical trials would not be practical or would be unethical. Because a meta-analysis does not involve human subjects or experimental animals directly, it is often considered an easy study that can be done with a minimum of effort and little attention is often paid to details of design and implementation. A valid meta-analysis, however, requires the same careful planning as any other research study. In this paper, we will focus on the important design issues underlying a meta-analysis: formulating the study question, identification of research studies, collecting and evaluating information about these studies, and extracting results. Simple methods for analyzing the data once it is collected are described briefly. Methods Defining the Objectives of the Study The first step is to identify the problem. This includes specifying the disease or condition of interest, the population of interest, the specific treatments or exposures being studied and the outcome measurements (efficacy, adverse reactions or both) being studied. Additional clinical or biological measurements of interest that might be potential confounders of the results should also be identified at this time, although other factors may be recognized during the evaluation or data collection phase of the meta-analysis. The goals of the study should be defined at this stage. Meta-analyses attempt to meet one or both of two goals: summarizing the available data or explaining the variability between different studies. When the objective is to summarize the effects of an intervention, ideally all studies would have similar patient characteristics and the outcome measures would be consistent across studies. Thus, the summary measure resulting from the meta-analysis would reflect the effect of the treatment being studied. In practice, however, there is always variability between studies both in patient characteristics and in outcome measures, which is, of course, the primary motivation for performing a formal meta-analysis. Alternatively, one might attempt to model the variability between studies to understand why different studies had different results [ 13 14 ] . This would suggest that as wide a range of studies should be included as possible. Frequently both objectives can be served in the same meta-analysis, by providing summary statistics of treatment or exposure effects in subgroups, often referred to as a sensitivity analysis, and modeling the heterogeneity across studies as a function of patient characteristics. Given the amount of work involved in performing any meta-analysis, we recommend that a meta-analysis attempt to meet both these goals. Defining the Population of Studies Included in the Meta-Analysis Inclusion and exclusion criteria for studies are as necessary in a meta-analysis as they are in clinical studies to safeguard against selection bias. These criteria need to be specified in the meta-analysis protocol, just as inclusion / exclusion criteria are specified in a clinical protocol. The criteria should follow immediately from the objectives of the study. An analysis aimed at providing a summary result in a specific subgroup of subjects will necessarily have more restrictive criteria than one designed to investigate heterogeneity. The inclusion criteria should address at least the following. Type of study Will the analysis be restricted to randomized clinical trials only, or will other designs be included? In our opinion, trials other than RCT are allowable. As we mentioned in the introduction, there is some disagreement on this subject [ 5 6 9 11 12 15 16 ] . The type of study may be used as a classification variable in a sensitivity analysis or in assessing the quality of the study as described below. Olkin [ 14 ] has developed a hierarchy of strength of evidence based on the type of design, ranging from case reports (the weakest) to randomized trials (the strongest), with case-control studies somewhere in the middle. This hierarchy may serve as a guideline for inclusion of different designs. Example 3 [ 17 ] , discussed below, shows how a valid meta-analysis may be based only on observational studies when clinical trials would not be ethical. Patient characteristics These include age, gender, ethnicity, presenting condition, duration of illness, and method of diagnosis. Again, this needs to reflect the goals of the study. We recommend that a meta-analysis be as inclusive as possible, e.g., you may exclude studies in children if they are known to be different from adults, but all studies in adults should be included without regard to age or gender. If you limit the meta-analysis to a very restricted population it will probably provide little new information. We recommend including population factors as covariates in estimates of the overall effect and examining their effects in a sensitivity analysis. Treatment modalities Allowable treatment type, dosage, and duration of treatment should be addressed. Since analysis of a given treatment is frequently the reason for the meta-analysis, most meta-analyses are limited to tests of a specific treatment or variations within that treatment, such as formulation, route of delivery, or dosage. Variations in treatment may be deliberately included for comparison or for sensitivity analysis. If controlled studies are included, then these criteria should specify the acceptable control groups, e.g., placebo control or a standard treatment. If more than one standard treatment can be used for the condition being studied, then the protocol must either define which ones will be acceptable or methods to address this possible source of variability between studies. Outcome measures Many studies have multiple outcome measures. The protocol for the meta-analysis should specify the outcome measure(s) of interest, including the allowable methods of measurement. For example, percent body fat may be measured by DEXA scan, by underwater weighing, by bioimpedance or by anthropometry. Different methods of measurement, if allowed, should be accounted for in the analysis. When allowed, the protocol must specify whether every study must report all of them, any one of them, or at least one or two specific ones. We recommend that the protocol allow only one or two primary outcomes to focus the analysis and avoid the impression of a fishing expedition. We realize that once the studies have been located and evaluated, investigators are reluctant to neglect any information and may want to perform additional analyses on other outcomes. However, it is likely that not all studies relating to these other outcomes will have been obtained since they were not the initial purpose of the analysis. An important point, sometimes neglected, is that one should include only one set of results from a single study, even if multiple publications are available. Thus, it is necessary to have a method for deciding which paper(s) will be included. Most often it is reasonable to specify that this will be the latest paper published, or the paper with the most complete data on the outcome measures of interest. In any case, the decision rule needs to be specified in the meta-analysis protocol before reviewing results in the papers so that selection cannot be influenced by the results. Locating Studies Locating all studies is by far the most difficult and the most frustrating aspect of any meta-analysis but it is the most important step. A structured plan is necessary to manage the frequently large number of papers. Most meta-analyses begin with a search using the NLM Medline system. This should be supplemented by the use of other computerized indices, such as in-house research listings and reports from professional organizations. Properly done, this will give you most of the published articles relating to your topic. There are several options for finding unpublished studies. Peer consultation, i.e. networking among your professional colleagues and contacting specific investigators who are known to be active in the area can help identify additional studies and investigators. Since abstracts are often not included in computer indexes, it is necessary to manually review special meeting issues of journals from the major professional organizations in the field. In addition, one might publish a request for information at meetings and in newsletters. References to 'unpublished data' in published studies must be followed up. The NIH and NLM maintain registries of clinical trials for some diseases; public non-profit organizations, such as the American Diabetes Association, can usually supply information about trials and other studies that they are sponsoring. The Cochrane Library contains a bibliography of controlled trials as well as abstracts of reviews of the effects of healthcare. The Internet is becoming increasingly important for identifying studies, using resources such as news groups or mailing lists. In meta-analysis, one is particularly concerned with publication bias, i.e. the effect of failing to detect unpublished trials. The most common reason for not publishing is nonsignificant or uninteresting results [ 16 18 ] . Clearly, leaving out negative studies in any meta-analysis will substantially bias the result so that treatment will appear more effective than it actually is. Other factors associated with failure to publish include type of study, with clinical trials being most likely to be published, and funding source, with externally funded studies having a higher publication rate. Olkin [ 14 ] has noted that the results of very large studies are usually published whereas the publication of small studies may depend on timing, with early small studies having a higher chance of publications than later small studies. Other causes of publication bias include language restrictions [ 13 19 ] and imperfect search techniques. For the later, we recommend that investigators seek the support of the institutional librarians. Negative studies are more likely to be published in 'local' journals and not in the major international journals, therefore restricting language to English tends to exclude negative studies done in non-English speaking countries [ 19 ] . Unfortunately, it is not always possible to obtain a reliable translation of these papers. Decisions regarding inclusion of papers in a foreign language must be made before one begins attempting to locate studies. Even if the results of such papers are not included in the meta-analysis, the existence of such papers should be reported. We recommend that all relevant studies be listed in the material and methods section or in an appendix, even when it was not possible to formally screen and evaluate them in the meta-analysis, so that the reader will be aware of the number of studies not included in the formal meta-analysis. Screening and Evaluation A quick review of the abstracts of the papers will eliminate those that are clearly not relevant to the meta-analysis or do not meet other criteria, such as study design, specific population, duration of treatment or date of the study. If the published material is just an abstract, there must be sufficient information to evaluate its quality. There must also be summary statistics to put into the meta-analysis, available either from the written material or in writing from the investigator. It is essential that when the available written information is insufficient for the meta-analysis that strenuous efforts be made to contact the principal investigator to obtain the needed information in order to reduce the effect of publication bias. This becomes even more important for material that has not been formally published, which can only be obtained from the principal investigator. Assuming adequate information is available, each study should then be subjected to a structured review of the quality of the study. Table 2 (see additional file: Table 2) summarizes the major points that should be addressed in this evaluation. Although Table 2 is a model of an evaluation score sheet, it has not been formally tested or externally validated. The items in part A, which address sources, require that the authors and institutions, etc., be known. These questions should be answered by raters not involved in the assessment of the methods, who would prepare a score sheet for each study giving only the answers to these questions. To assure an unbiased review, the items in part B should be assessed by raters who are blinded both to the authors and the results of the study. Personnel not involved in this part of the evaluation should prepare copies of the papers with the sources, results and other information that might indicate the authors or outcome removed for this step in the evaluation [ 7 ] . Although an investigator might feel that blinding is not feasible because of time or cost, lack of blinding potentially leads to major biases in the evaluation of studies and thus the extra effort is warranted [ 4 7 20 21 22 23 ] . Failure to blind the review could lead to biases similar to those in a record review when subjects are selected by investigators who are not blinded to the outcomes of interest. However, there may be some studies that are very well known, or the research area may be so small, that any suitable rater will know the authors and/or the results of the study. When this occurs, efforts should still be made to blind the study and have the study methods rated by individuals outside the area of interest, but with expertise in study design issues. Some investigators feel that the evaluation should also address whether the conclusions of the study are consistent with the data. We feel that, since the meta-analysis is based on the data and not the written conclusions, that this comparison would only be meaningful when the conclusions are so far-fetched as to cast doubt on the accuracy of the entire study. Since this case is very rare we have not included this item in Table 2. If conclusions are to be evaluated, the raters should still be blinded as to the identity of the investigators. The methods used in these 'de-identified' papers should be evaluated by at least two raters, a content expert who is knowledgeable in the subject matter and a biostatistician or epidemiologist who can evaluate the analytic methods. We strongly recommend the use of a numeric quality score to summarize the results of the evaluation [ 5 20 22 24 ] . The two blinded raters will create a consensus score for quality which will be combined with the score for sources from the unblinded raters to give a final score for the study. The structure and items for the quality score must be specified in the meta-analysis protocol and should only be modified if some items are missing in all studies. The score should be based on the items in Table 2, but may be modified to suit the particular application. Most of the items in Part A and all of the items in Part B can be answered as 'Yes', 'No' or 'not applicable'. Since many of the criteria ask whether or not specific items of information are in the paper, if one of these items is not in the publication and is not available from the investigator it is coded as 'No', not 'missing'. Thus, the number of 'not applicable' or 'missing' items should be small. For example, if the demographic information for some or all subject groups is not available, the response to the third question under "Study Subjects" in Table 2 would be 'No'. If this information was not given, you might not be able to answer the first question in Table 2 under "Controls", which would truly be missing information. We recommend that this type of missing data also be coded as 'No'. If critical information is missing, such as summary statistics, the investigators should contact the authors to try to get this information and, if it is not available, then the study should be excluded from the meta-analysis. The total score may be based on the sum of individual items by scoring 1 for yes and 0 for no (reversed when necessary for consistency) then expressing the total as the percent of the maximum possible. The latter will account for items coded as 'not applicable'. Alternately, the investigators may generate a summary score for each group of items and use either the sum or average of these. The former method gives equal weight to each item in the table, while the latter gives equal weight to the categories but the importance of each item varies with the number of items in a category. The choice of method may depend on the proposed use of the quality score, which must also be specified in the protocol [ 5 20 22 ] . There is no consensus on this issue in the meta-analysis literature. Quality scores can be used in several ways: as a cutoff, with the meta-analysis including only studies above some minimum score; as a weighting value, with studies with higher quality scores being given more weight in the analysis; or as a descriptive characteristic of the study, used in explaining study variability and heterogeneity. We recommend that both the score based on items and the summary score be computed. The latter should be used to define a minimum value below which a study would be excluded from the analysis; the former can then be used to rank studies into three quality groups as a means of assessing heterogeneity between studies. If the number of studies is very large, then more than 3 groups may be used. If the number of studies is small then creating quality groups is not possible and only the summary score need be computed. We do not recommend using the quality score as a weighting variable because we feel it is too subjective. The distribution of quality scores may be addressed in the discussion section of the publication, as noted below. There are other examples of quality scores in the literature. Chalmers [ 25 ] gives a comprehensive instrument for scoring a randomized clinical trial with detailed questions on every aspect of a trial, and assigns weights to the different sections. Although it is specifically aimed at RCT's, it could be adapted to other types of studies. Other authors use greatly reduced versions [ 11 22 26 ] . A bibliography of scales and checklists is given by Moher [ 27 ] . Data Abstraction Data should be abstracted onto structured forms designed to capture relevant information in a concise, focused fashion. The protocol should specify the items, the information to be collected for each item and the format for collecting the items. Detailed instructions for data extraction and completion of the form should be prepared. For example, will age be recorded as the range, mean and standard error, or both? If recoding or estimation is required, e.g., estimates of the standard deviation from the range, the algorithm should be specified. Since there is not much consistency with respect to use of the standard deviation versus the standard error, the protocol should specify which should be used and how to convert from one to the other. Other criteria include whether rates will be entered as proportions (less than or equal 1) or as percents, whether natural logarithms or base 10 logarithms are used, etc. If data are incomplete, this should be noted on the form, although often if too much data are missing the study will be excluded from the analysis. Some texts give formulas for converting one test statistic to another [ 28 ] ; if these are to be used they should be clearly defined in the instructions for data extraction. Ideally two individuals should independently abstract the results from every study and differences resolved by consensus. Some investigators recommend that these individuals be blinded to the authors of the paper [ 21 ] , however, if the criteria for data collection are objective, blinding of abstractors, although not essential, is still desirable. The data abstraction form should be headed with a study number, if blinding is to be preserved, or with the name of the study, the publication or source of data, the name and affiliation of the investigators, and the type of design. There should be descriptions of the study groups, including number of groups, size of group, age, gender distribution, diagnoses, treatments (including placebo), other treatment or descriptive variables, and length of treatment. The summary of the results can be quite extensive, including descriptive statistics for all groups and all outcome measures. Differences between groups in time, dosage, etc. should be included in the information on the data abstraction form. The test statistics should be identified by type, and given along with the p value, the sample size and the degrees of freedom when appropriate. Details of statistical models need to be given, listing other variables included in the model. Space for comments should be included. Table 3 (see additional file: Table 3) is an example of a data collection form for a meta-analysis of a clinical trial with 2 groups where one outcome is a continuous variable and a second outcome is a proportion. We strongly recommend pilot testing the data abstraction form on a few studies before defining a final format. Data Analysis Specific methods for data analysis in meta-analysis have been developed and are available in many texts and articles. The book by Hedges and Olkin [ 28 ] has been considered the standard text since its publication in 1985. The book by Wolf [ 29 ] is a more accessible reference at a basic level that gives formulas and procedures for simple studies. There are also many articles on how to do meta-analysis. The review article by Fleiss [ 30 ] is reasonably accessible for a non-mathematician who is not frightened of formulas. This section is intended to describe the general approach to the statistical analysis of the summary data that were collected. It is not intended to give instructions on how to do the actual computations. We recommend that you work with a statistician who is knowledgeable about meta-analysis for the formal analysis of the results. The simplest method is to use a weighted average of the effects of each study. The analysis is usually based on a summary statistic derived from the study, often referred to as the effect size and a weight, which in most cases is the inverse of the variance of the effect size and is usually related to the sample size. The Q statistic [ 28 ] is a test of homogeneity between studies. A large value of Q indicates that there is significant heterogeneity between studies. Petitti [ 31 ] has observed that this test is conservative, and we recommend that the significance level for this statistic be set to 0.10 rather than the usual 0.05. Some analysts might try to reduce the heterogeneity by limiting the meta-analysis to a smaller more homogeneous group of studies. However, this limits the scope of the meta-analysis and essentially throws away useful information. Models that incorporate and evaluate sources of heterogeneity are available. The standard approach is the random effects model developed by DerSimonian and Laird [ 32 ] and is well described in their paper. Fleiss [ 30 ] also includes these methods as alternative methods of analysis in his paper. Berlin [ 33 ] and Biggerstaff [ 34 ] expand on these methods. There is some controversy about the use of these models. Villar [ 35 ] , in a study of 84 independent meta-analyses of randomized clinical trials, showed that in meta-analyses where there was a significant value of the Q statistic, the use of random effects models showed wider confidence intervals for the effects in question, but also showed a larger treatment effect. Petitti [ 31 ] does not see a clear rationale for choosing between a random or fixed effects model. The choice of analytic methods for any but the simplest situation requires input from a statistician experienced in meta-analysis. Reporting and Interpretation The protocol should indicate how the results of the meta-analysis will be presented. We recognize that, like the data analysis, this preliminary plan may be modified during the implementation of the study. The published meta-analysis should include a table containing all relevant descriptive information about each of the papers that are included in the analysis in a table. Ideally, all articles reviewed would be described, but this is not always practical, particularly if the number is large and many of them are irrelevant. Effect sizes, odds ratios, etc are considered results and may be presented in summary form or displayed for individual studies. Graphical displays are very helpful for showing the dispersion of single effects. All the examples described in the next section have good examples of graphical displays. With respect to interpretation, we wish to emphasize two points. The first is the difference between statistical significance and clinical importance. Most of the techniques for meta-analysis will give a p-value, but these results must be interpreted in light of the other characteristics of the study. The distribution of quality scores for the studies also should be considered when deciding how much emphasis to give to the results. If the quality scores are skewed to low values, then this should at least be mentioned in the discussion as a possible shortcoming of the meta-analysis. If the studies were almost all of high quality, then this gives more credence to the results of the meta-analysis. The second point is the possible effect of unpublished studies on statistically significant results. Formulas for estimating the number of unpublished negative studies that would be necessary to cast doubt on the results of the meta-analysis have been developed [ 36 37 ] . Obviously, if this number were small, then the results of the meta-analysis are less credible. On the other hand if this number is large, the results of the meta-analysis are likely to be valid. We recommend that the investigator compute this value and include the results in the interpretation of the findings. Results Objectives The first three articles attempted to estimate effects of treatment or exposure on survival (example 1), group differences on outcome scores (example 2) or relative risk (example 3). The objective of the fourth paper was to explore the effect of different approaches to study design on the study results. We do not address the actual clinical criteria used in these studies, as that is not relevant to our paper, but all papers reported very specific criteria as to population, treatment, laboratory methods, etc. Study population These different objectives influenced the selection of studies. Acceptable papers were limited to RCT's in the first and second articles. The third article was based on case-control and cohort studies, since randomized trials could not be done for this topic. All study designs were allowable in example 4 (the design characteristics in the title refer to population and protocol differences, not the type of study). All four meta-analyses used additional inclusion/exclusion criteria. The criteria in paper 1 addressed the subject and control treatments. Paper 2 required double-blind trials of at least 4 weeks duration. Paper 3 required clear differentiation of ischemic stroke from other strokes, and at least 10 subjects with a stroke. Paper 4 included all study types, but required that measures of association between age and T levels be included. All papers required that usable data be available. Locating studies Paper identification began with a Medline search in each study and all authors cited review articles as a source of other references. The authors in all articles said that they had contacted investigators for more data. We are sad to note that example 4 reported that of ten authors contacted, only one replied. Screening and evaluation methods Blinding was not used consistently. The authors of example 1 were the only ones who used blinded reviewers in selection and evaluation. The question of blinding was not addressed in papers 2 and 3. Paper 4 reported blinding for the quality evaluation. All papers reported developing a quality score, but the quality score in example 4 was only on the laboratory methods, and thus was not describing the overall quality of the study. In examples 1 and 2, the authors used the scoring system of Chalmers [ 25 ] , while the others used simpler scoring systems developed for the study. Examples 1, 2 and 3 used two raters. Examples 1 and 2 required a consensus evaluation, but example 3 used the average of the two raters. Paper 1 reported the overall quality scores for each study included in the analyses. The authors used the quality score to divide the studies into three groups and then compared the pooled relative risk in the three groups. In paper 2, the authors tested the effect of quality scores by comparing results in studies with scores above and below the median. Paper 3 did not describe any quality score and in paper 4 a score was developed for laboratory methods which was used for descriptive information only. Data abstraction Although all the articles reported or implied standardized data extraction, none of them provided examples or description of the format. Paper 1 reported using two blinded raters for data abstraction, but the others did not mention blinding at this point. Data analysis Examples 1-3 used weighted estimates of effect size to estimate an overall effect. In example 1, the investigators computed survival statistics and odds ratios for response and used the random effects models [ 32 ] to analyze the data. We note that in this paper the actual survival statistics had to be estimated from summary data for many of the studies. The simplest analysis was in example 2, where weighted estimates of the differences between treated and untreated groups were computed for pain and disability outcomes. In example 2, tests for heterogeneity were significant when all the studies were included, but became non-significant when one study was excluded. Subanalyses in example 3 looked at the contributions of other factors, such as smoking and alcohol to heterogeneity. The analysis in example 4 focused on differences between the testosterone-age correlation in different patient groups using visual display and multiple regression methods. Reporting and interpretation All papers gave details of all the studies that were included. All examples made good use of graphic display. Examples 1-3 included plots of the effect size for the selected studies, while example 4 presented comparison plots of the regression lines for testosterone on age for different breakdowns of population characteristics or sampling times. Conclusion In this paper we have addressed the procedures for performing a meta-analysis, focusing primarily on the steps before data analysis. Meta-analysis cannot be thought of as a quick and easy way to pull a lot of studies together and come up with a publication, but like any other study, requires an appreciable investment of time in planning and implementation. As with any scientific procedure, there are areas of controversy. A primary one is the inclusion of studies other than RCT's. Although this has become more common in the past few years, it is still controversial. In example 3, there were no RCT's for this subject, although there had been many observational studies. It is important that, however you decide, you have a good reason for your choice. Another area of controversy is in the homogeneity of the studies. We stated previously that when the purpose of a meta-analysis is to provide estimates of specific effects, then the criteria for inclusion would be more restrictive than if the objective were to model sources of variability. In practice, most meta-analyses combine both objectives. Even if the primary objective is simple estimates, there are population effects that should be investigated and discussed. One of the benefits of meta-analysis is that it may be used to extend conclusions beyond the frequently limited populations that are included in a single study. Moreover, given the effort that goes into identifying and evaluating papers, ignoring or rejecting valuable information is wasteful. Dickersin and others [ 18 34 ] point out that heterogeneity is not all bad. It improves the generalizability of the results of the meta-analysis. It may help to point out factors that influence the results of the outcome that were not observable in individual trials. If the effect is consistent even with discrepant studies, it strengthens the case for the causality of the treatment. If a meta-analysis is performed prior to beginning a new study, then heterogeneity may help the investigator improve his design by incorporating an understanding of these other factors. We mention here that there is some leeway to modify your goals once original studies are reviewed, since only then will you know the extent of the data and which variables, other than the primary effect, have been measured. For example, you may find that there is an obvious grouping of study populations by age or ethnicity, and decide to investigate those effects. Such modifications should, of course, be restricted to observation of the available data and should not be based on the results of preliminary analysis. In summary, a meta-analysis is an important and valuable tool for summarizing data from multiple studies. However, it is not an easy task and requires careful thought and planning to provide accurate and useful information. Competing Interests None declared. Authors' Contributions Nancy G. Berman and Robert A. Parker collaborated on the conceptualization and writing of this paper. Both authors read and approved the final manuscript. Background Amprenavir (APV) is a potent protease inhibitor (PI) that is used in combination with other antiretroviral drugs for the treatment of antiretroviral-nave and -experienced adults and children with HIV infection [ 1 2 3 4 5 ] . APV offers the convenience of twice-daily (BID) administration with no food or fluid restrictions [ 6 7 ] . Preclinical and clinical data suggest that APV has a lower potential to cause lipodystrophy and metabolic abnormalities than other currently available PIs [ 8 9 10 ] . APV has a distinct resistance profile that permits it to be considered as a treatment option for either PI-nave or PI-experienced patients [ 11 ] . In a 64-week trial in treatment-nave patients (NZTA4002; n = 302), APV 1200 mg, administered BID (APV1200) with one abacavir 300 mg tablet and one lamivudine 150 mg/zidovudine 300 mg combination tablet (Combivir ), was as effective as nelfinavir 750 mg three times daily plus Combivir BID, with regard to the proportion of patients achieving HIV-1 RNA <40 copies/mL at week 64: 77% vs 66% (as-treated analysis) [ 12 ] . However, many patients in this trial withdrew prematurely because of adverse events that may have been, in part, related to the high pill burden (16 large 150 mg soft-gelatin capsules daily) associated with APV dosing and excipients contained in the APV formulation available at the time of the trial. To reduce APV pill burden and possibly improve tolerability of APV treatment, pharmacokinetic research efforts have been directed at combining APV with the PI ritonavir (RTV), which inhibits CYP3A4-mediated hepatic metabolism of APV, thereby enhancing plasma APV exposure [ 13 14 15 ] . The administration of RTV at the clinically sub-therapeutic dosage of 100 mg BID was found to boost APV plasma exposure to such a degree as to permit halving the APV daily pill burden from 16 to 8 capsules/day, in addition to maintaining the minimum plasma APV concentration (C min ) over 24 hours well above the 50% inhibitory concentrations (IC 50 ) of patient-derived HIV-1 isolates [ 15 ] . A pharmacokinetic study in 20 HIV-infected patients, PROF1004, showed that APV at the lower dosage of 600 mg BID combined with RTV 100 mg BID (APV600/RTV) resulted in a geometric mean steady-state APV C min (1.92 g/mL) over 6-fold higher than the C min resulting from APV1200 (0.3 g/mL) [ 16 ] . This C min was more than 13-fold higher than the IC 50 of APV against HIV of antiretroviral-nave patients (mean, 0.146 0.125 g/mL) and over 2-fold higher than the IC 50 of APV against HIV of multi-PI-resistant patients (mean, 0.903 0.846 g/mL) (IC 50 s adjusted for the 90% protein binding observed with APV). Following APV600/RTV, the APV maximum serum concentration (C max ) has been reported to be slightly lower (by 27%) than that observed with APV1200 [ 17 ] , which may account for the RTV-boosted APV regimen being less likely to cause certain adverse events (e.g., oral/perioral paresthesia and headache) [ 18 ] . Since the above pharmacokinetic studies and others involving pharmacokinetic modeling predictions were conducted over only a short period (generally 14 days) and in a small number of patients, there remained a need to evaluate low-dose APV/RTV combinations in large populations of HIV-1-infected patients over a therapeutically relevant period. The purpose of ESS40011 was to compare the efficacy, safety, and tolerability of APV 600 mg BID plus RTV 100 mg BID (APV600/RTV) to APV 1200 mg BID (APV1200) over 24 weeks in antiretroviral-nave or -experienced HIV-infected patients who were receiving other background antiretroviral drugs. Late in the study, patients who had not yet completed 24 weeks of treatment were given the option to continue treatment in a subsequent 24-week extension phase to assess the durability of virologic response. Methods Patients Male and non-pregnant, non-lactating female outpatients were eligible for study enrollment if they were at least 18 years of age; had HIV-1 infection documented by HIV-1 antibody enzyme-linked immunosorbent assay (ELISA) and confirmed by Western blot test, positive HIV-1 culture, positive HIV-1 serum antigen, or plasma viremia; and CD4+ cell counts 50/mm 3. Women of childbearing potential had to have a negative serum -human chorionic gonadotropin (HCG) pregnancy test at screening, and had to be willing to use an adequate method of contraception during the study. Patients could be either antiretroviral-nave or -experienced. If patients were antiretroviral-experienced, they had to be nave to APV, have a plasma HIV-1 RNA >1000 copies/mL, show susceptibility to APV and 2 other antiretroviral drugs, and remain on their most recent treatment regimen until completion of the screening visit. For all drugs, susceptibility was defined as an HIV isolate with <4.0-fold change in IC 50 (determined by VIRCOGEN [Tibotec-Virco NV, Mechelen, Belgium], a virtual phenotype assay) in comparison to the control virus. Patients were excluded if they had active Centers for Disease Control (CDC) Class C status; could not comply with the study schedule; were in another investigational drug study; were undergoing opiate detoxification; had a malabsorption syndrome or pre-existing condition that interfered with normal gastrointestinal transit; had clinically significant laboratory abnormalities, required radiation therapy or cytotoxic chemotherapy, or had received immunomodulating agents, within 4 weeks pre-study; or had received an HIV-1 immunotherapeutic vaccine within 3 months pre-study. Patients were allowed to take pravastatin, fluvastatin, cerivastatin, or atorvastatin for hyperlipidemia at the cautionary discretion of the investigators, but were not allowed to take lovastatin, simvastatin, or any other drug known to significantly affect metabolism by the cytochrome P450 CYP3A4 enzyme system. Study Design In this multicenter, open-label clinical trial, patients were first stratified according to prior antiretroviral therapy exposure (i.e., nave or experienced), then randomized 3:1 to treatment for 24 weeks with either APV 600 mg BID plus RTV 100 mg BID or to APV 1200 mg BID in combination with 2 non-PI antiretroviral drugs. APV was supplied as 150 mg soft-gelatin capsules of Agenerase (GlaxoSmithKline, Research Triangle Park, North Carolina); thus, eight capsules were given for each 1200 mg dose of APV and four capsules for each 600 mg dose. RTV was supplied as 100 mg soft-gelatin capsules of Norvir (Abbott Laboratories, North Chicago, Illinois). Late in the study, patients who had not yet completed 24 weeks of treatment were given the option to continue treatment in a subsequent 24-week extension phase to assess the durability of virologic response. During the 6-week period prior to the start of the study, candidates were screened for study eligibility, demography, CDC classification, HIV risk factors, mode of HIV transmission, antiretroviral therapy history, and medical history, and given a physical examination. Prior to study initiation, the ESS40011 study protocol was approved by the Institutional Review Boards at each participating study site. All participants provided written informed consent before any study-related procedures were commenced. The initial 24-week portion of the study was conducted between June 13, 2000 and October 18, 2001 at 44 treatment centers in the United States. Efficacy and Safety Assessment The primary efficacy parameter was the proportion of patients with plasma HIV-1 RNA levels <200 copies/mL at week 24. Plasma HIV-1 RNA was assessed by the Roche Amplicor MONITOR Ultrasensitive assay (version 1.5; lower limit of quantitation [LLOQ] 50 copies/mL and quantitation range of 50 to 75,000 copies/mL, Roche Diagnostics, Branchburg, New Jersey). Patients were classified as having reached a virologic endpoint if, at week 24, plasma HIV-1 RNA levels were 200 copies/mL; or if the plasma HIV-1 RNA had not decreased by at least 0.5-log 10 from baseline at week 8, with confirmation at week 12. Secondary efficacy measures included assessment of the proportion of patients achieving HIV-1 RNA <50 copies/mL (using the above mentioned assay); changes in CD4+ cell counts (measured by flow cytometry) compared with baseline values; and progression of HIV disease from baseline status to the occurrence of the first new event involving a change in CDC class for each patient. Patients who remained at their entry CDC class were considered to be clinical non-progressors. Change from baseline in plasma HIV-1 RNA levels was assessed at weeks 4, 8, 12, and 24 in all patients, as well as at weeks 32, 40 and 48 in patients who participated in the treatment extension phase. CD4+ cell counts were assessed at baseline, and at weeks 12 and 24. Patients had plasma collected for genotype/virtual phenotype at screening (for experienced patients only) and at the time of virologic failure (results to be reported elsewhere). Statistical Analysis The study was powered to evaluate whether the virologic efficacy (proportion of patients with plasma HIV-1 HIV <200 copies/mL at week 24) in the APV 600/RTV arm was at least as good (non-inferior) as in the APV1200 arm. Non-inferiority of the APV600/RTV regimen to the APV1200 regimen was established if the 95% lower confidence limit (LCL) for the difference in proportion of patients achieving HIV-1 RNA <200 copies/mL at week 24 with APV 600/RTV minus APV1200 was -0.12. The non-inferiority margin of 0.12 was chosen based on previous regulatory studies and was pre-specified in the protocol. Target enrollment was 198 in the APV600/RTV arm and 66 in the APV1200 arm. The primary analysis was made in the intent-to-treat (ITT) population, which consisted of all eligible patients who were randomized into the study regardless of what treatment was actually received and the eventual outcome of study participation. Two types of analyses were performed: an ITT: observed analysis, in which only available assessments were used (no imputation for missing values), regardless of whether the patient was still receiving their original therapy; and an ITT: missing = failure (ITT: M = F) analysis, in which all missing values constituted failure. Comparisons between treatment arms regarding proportion of patients achieving HIV-1 RNA <200 copies/mL and <50 copies/mL were made using the Cochran-Mantel-Haenszel test controlling for prior antiretroviral drug experience. Changes from baseline in plasma HIV-1 RNA (log 10 copies/mL) and CD4+ cell count, and average area under the curve minus baseline (AAUCMB) in plasma HIV-1 RNA, were tabulated by treatment arm and visit, then analyzed using analysis of variance (ANOVA). The safety population consisted of all patients who consumed at least 1 dose of study drug. Safety parameters included incidence of treatment-limiting toxicities (clinical and laboratory adverse events); and change from baseline in selected laboratory variables at weeks 4, 8, 12 and 24. Fisher's exact test was used to compare adverse event rate and ANOVA was used to compare change from baseline for laboratory variables between the two treatment arms. A P value of <0.05 was considered statistically significant. Statistical analyses were performed using SAS version 6.12 (SAS Institute, Inc., Cary, NC). Results Patient Characteristics and Disposition A total of 211 patients enrolled; they were predominantly male (87%), ethnically diverse (48% Caucasian, 37% African American, 14% Hispanic), and had a mean age of 42 years, median baseline HIV-1 RNA level of 4.33 log 10 copies/mL, and median baseline CD4+ cell count of 257 cells/mm 3. Most of the study population was antiretroviral-experienced (81%). One hundred and fifty-eight (158) patients were randomized to the APV600/RTV regimen and 53 to the APV1200 regimen. The two treatment arms did not differ with respect to any baseline characteristic (Table 1). The most common background antiretroviral regimens taken by patients in the APV600/RTV and APV1200 treatment arms were stavudine/didanosine (25% vs 30%), Combivir (19% for both arms), abacavir/stavudine (11% for both arms), lamivudine/stavudine (9% vs 4%), and abacavir/didanosine (5% vs 6%). A total of 150 patients (71%) completed all 24 weeks of the study, including a similar proportion of patients in the APV600/RTV arm (72%) and APV1200 arm (68%). Reasons for premature withdrawal from treatment were also similar between the APV600/RTV and APV1200 arms, except for fewer patients in the APV600/RTV arm withdrawing due to protocol-defined virologic failure (1% vs 6%) (Table 1). Antihyperlipidemic agents were used by 1 patient in each treatment arm, neither of whom had taken this type of medication pre-study. No deaths or clinical progressions of HIV disease occurred. Twenty patients enrolled into the extension phase, including 15 in the APV600/RTV arm and 5 in the APV1200 arm. Virologic Measurements of Efficacy At week 24, the proportion of patients with HIV-1 RNA <200 copies/mL in the APV600/RTV arm and APV1200 arm was 46% (73/158) and 38% (20/53), respectively, in the ITT: M = F analysis (Figure 1) and 62% (73/118) and 53% (20/38), respectively, in the ITT: observed analysis (Figure 2). The APV600/RTV regimen proved to be similar to or better than the APV1200 regimen because the 95% LCL for the difference in proportions of patients achieving HIV-1 RNA <200 copies/mL with APV600/RTV minus APV1200 was -0.12 (-0.04 [ITT: M = F analysis] and -0.06 [ITT: observed analysis]). The proportion of antiretroviral-nave patients who achieved HIV-1 RNA <200 copies/mL in the APV600/RTV arm was twice that for the APV1200 arm in the ITT: M = F analysis (63% [19/30] vs 30% [3/10], P = 0.141), and 26% higher in the ITT: observed analysis (76% [19/25] vs 50% [3/6], P = 0.320). In contrast, the proportions in antiretroviral-experienced patients were similar in the treatment arms in both analyses (ITT: M = F analysis: 42% [54/128] vs 40% [17/43], P = 0.859; ITT: observed analysis: 58% [54/93] vs 53% [17/32], P = 0.682). Virologic findings using the more stringent virologic suppression endpoint of HIV-1 RNA <50 copies/mL paralleled those with the <200 copies/mL endpoint, although differences attained statistical significance. Thus, at week 24, significantly more patients in the APV600/RTV arm than the APV1200 arm achieved HIV-1 RNA <50 copies/mL (ITT: M = F analysis: 36% [57/158] vs 21% [11/53], P = 0.039; ITT: observed analysis: 48% [57/118] vs 29% [11/38], P = 0.042) (Figures 1and 2, respectively). The proportion of antiretroviral-nave patients who achieved HIV-1 RNA <50 copies/mL was 47% (14/30) in the APV600/RTV arm and 20% (2/10) in the APV1200 arm ( P = 0.141), whereas the proportion of antiretroviral-experienced patients who achieved HIV-1 RNA <50 copies/mL was 34% (43/128) in the APV600/RTV arm and 21% (9/43) in the APV1200 arm ( P = 0.119) (ITT:M = F analysis). In the ITT: observed analysis, mean reduction in HIV-1 RNA from baseline was significantly greater at week 24 in the APV600/RTV arm than the APV1200 arm (-2.21 vs -1.59 log 10 copies/mL, P = 0.028) (Figure 3), as was the mean AAUCMB in HIV-1 RNA in both the total population (-1.56 vs -1.25 log 10 copies/mL, P = 0.045) and antiretroviral-nave subgroup (-2.40 vs -1.60 log 10 copies/mL, P = 0.020). No significant differences were observed between the APV600/RTV and APV1200 treatment arms with respect to mean AAUCMB in HIV-1 RNA for the antiretroviral-experienced subgroup (-1.40 vs -1.20 log 10 copies/mL P = 0.209), or proportion of antiretroviral-nave patients achieving HIV-1 RNA <50 copies/mL (56% vs 33%, P = 0.394) (ITT: observed analysis). Of the 20 patients (15 in the APV600/RTV arm and 5 in the APV1200 arm) enrolled into the extension phase, 15 (11 APV600/RTV, 4 APV1200) had HIV-1 RNA <200 copies/mL at week 24. Eleven (8 APV600/RTV, 3 APV1200) of these 15 patients continued to have HIV-1 RNA levels <200 copies/mL between week 24 and week 48, 3 rebounded, and 1 discontinued at week 32. Of the 5 patients who had HIV-1 RNA >200 copies/mL at week 24, 1 discontinued when an HIV-1 RNA of 186 copies/mL was measured at week 32, 1 missed week 32 and 40 visits (but had an HIV-1 RNA of 878 copies/mL at week 48), and 3 continued to have HIV-1 RNA >200 copies/mL from week 24 to week 48. In these 3 patients, HIV-1 RNA levels ranged from 316 to 3645 copies/mL, 1247 to 5175 copies/mL, and 143 to 12,149 copies/mL, respectively, between weeks 24 and 48. Immunologic Measurements of Efficacy At baseline, the median CD4+ cell count in the APV600/RTV and APV1200 arms was 271 and 255 cells/mm 3, respectively. Over the 24 weeks of the study, the median CD4+ cell count remained higher than baseline, with median elevations above baseline peaking at week 12 in both treatment arms (+51 and +52 cells/mm 3, respectively) (Figure 3). At week 24, the median change from baseline in CD4+ cell count in the APV600/RTV and APV1200 arms was +35 and +46 cells/mm 3, respectively, and the final median CD4+ cell count was 321 and 346 cells/mm 3, respectively. In patients who participated in the 24-week extension phase, 12 of 15 patients in the APV600/RTV arm and 4 of 5 in the APV1200 arm had a median change from baseline in CD4+ cell count at week 48 of +156 cell/mm 3, and +143 cell/mm 3, respectively. The final median CD4+ cell count in these patients was 404 and 407 cells/mm 3, respectively. The remaining patients did not have CD4+ data reported. Safety Table 2shows the drug-related adverse events that were reported in 5% of patients. Nausea, diarrhea, vomiting, and fatigue were the most common adverse events in both treatment arms. The incidence of drug-related oral/perioral paresthesia was lower in the APV600/RTV treatment arm than the APV1200 arm (2% vs 8%). No differences between the APV600/RTV and APV1200 treatment arms were observed regarding the frequency of drug-related grade 1-4 adverse events (44% vs 45%), frequency of discontinuing treatment due to adverse events (7% vs 8%), incidence of hyperglycemia (1 vs 0 patient), nonspecific lipodystrophy (1 vs 0), buffalo hump (1 vs 0), or hypercholesterolemia (1 vs 0). More cases of hypertriglyceridemia were reported as adverse events in the APV600/RTV arm (11 [7%] vs 0). However, review of laboratory changes revealed that the incidence of grade 3-4 hypertriglyceridemia was the same (4%) in each treatment arm. Discussion The virological results of this study indicate that over a 24-week treatment period the APV600/RTV regimen was statistically similar to or better than the APV1200 regimen according to the <200 copies/mL endpoint criterion. However, a significantly greater proportion of patients in the APV600/RTV treatment arm achieved HIV-1 RNA <50 copies/mL. Greater reductions in plasma HIV-1 RNA levels were also observed in patients receiving APV600/RTV BID than those using APV1200 BID. The greater magnitude of virologic suppression in the study population as a whole with the APV600/RTV regimen was expected in view of the results of earlier clinical pharmacokinetic studies showing a >6-fold higher C min level with APV600/RTV BID compared with the APV1200 BID regimen [ 16 ] . Higher C min values achieved with RTV-boosting may be critical in treating antiretroviral-experienced patients, particularly those with HIV isolates having increased IC 50 values. The proportion of antiretroviral-nave patients who achieved HIV-1 RNA <200 copies/mL in the APV600/RTV arm was twice that for the APV1200 arm (63% vs 30%, P = 0.141). No differences in virologic efficacy between treatment arms were evident in the antiretroviral-experienced subgroup (42% vs 40%, P = 0.859). It is possible that proportionally more treatment-nave patients may have responded to APV600/RTV due to poorer or more difficult adherence to the APV1200 regimen, but no adherence checks were included in this study to verify this. Although the <50 copies/mL endpoint criterion also showed a higher proportion of antiretroviral-nave patients responding to APV600/RTV than to APV1200 (47% vs 20%), the differences were not statistically significant, possibly due to the small size of this subgroup. In another study of APV600/RTV in antiretroviral-nave patients, Arasteh et al [ 19 ] reported a higher proportion of patients achieving plasma HIV-1 RNA <50 copies/mL (75%) than in the present study, perhaps due to the use of only lamivudine and abacavir as background antiretroviral medication and to differences in their study population relative to ours. The proportion of antiretroviral-experienced patients in the APV600/RTV treatment arm who achieved HIV-1 RNA <200 copies/mL at 24 weeks (58% [ITT:observed analysis]; 42% [ITT: M = F analysis]) was comparable to that reported in antiretroviral-experienced patients at 24 weeks in the studies by Schooley et al [ 20 ] (ESS40006 [PEARL]) (69% [ITT:observed analysis]), but much higher than that reported by Katlama et al [ 21 ] (31% [ITT: M = F analysis]). Differences in virologic suppression between the present study and the Katlama study may stem from the use of other background agents and the far greater antiretroviral experience and well-documented PI mutations in Katlama's patients. The 24-week extension phase showed that most patients who had HIV-1 RNA <200 copies/mL at week 24 maintained this level of virologic suppression through week 48. Thus, some indication of durability of viral suppression might be gathered from these data, although the number of patients evaluated in this study phase was small. The durability of virologic response to APV600/RTV was also suggested in an earlier study by Katlama et al [ 21 ] . The increase in CD4+ cells observed at 24 weeks in the APV600/RTV BID arm was not different from that in the APV1200 arm. It was lower in magnitude than the CD4+ cell count increases reported for APV600/RTV arm at 24 weeks in antiretroviral-experienced patients in ESS40006 [ 20 ] , and similar to that reported in heavily pre-treated patients by Katlama et al [ 21 ] in a patient population with comparable baseline disease characteristics (median HIV-1 RNA of 4.5 log 10 /mL and CD4+ count of 227 cells/mm 3). The safety profile of the APV600/RTV regimen was similar to that of the APV1200 regimen with respect to the main adverse events, which were gastrointestinal (GI) in nature in both treatment arms. GI adverse events reported in the APV600/RTV arm were possibly due to the addition of RTV to the regimen, or because the reduction in pill burden and, hence, in excipients was not great enough to improve GI tolerance. The higher incidence of oral/perioral paresthesia in the APV1200 treatment arm was most likely due to the higher APV C max that occurs following APV1200 dosing compared with APV600/RTV BID dosing [ 17 ] . Although the incidence of headache has been shown to increase with higher APV C max values [ 18 ] , the incidence of this adverse event did not differ between treatment arms in this study. The higher incidence of hypertriglyceridemia in the APV600/RTV arm was probably due to RTV, because this PI has been reported to cause elevations in serum triglycerides [ 22 ] . Other studies of RTV-boosted APV regimens have also reported that triglyceride elevation is usually grade 1 or 2 in magnitude, and, as in the present study, seldom necessitates treatment discontinuation or the addition of antihyperlipidemic drugs to the patient's treatment plan [ 10 19 ] . This study evaluated a patient population that was ethnically diverse, with just over half of the patients being either African American or Hispanic. The inclusion of a large proportion of African American and Hispanic patients was deemed important because these are the populations in whom the HIV epidemic is increasing the most [ 23 ] . Earlier clinical trials have tended to underrepresent these populations [ 24 ] . One limitation of our study was that no pharmacokinetic analyses were performed to validate whether the RTV dosage regimen co-administered with APV600 was effectively boosting plasma APV exposure or C min levels. However, ESS40006, which also evaluated the APV600/RTV regimen over a 24-week period, did conduct a pharmacokinetic evaluation showing steady-state serum APV C min values of 2.49 g/mL (i.e., over 8-fold higher than that usually achieved after the APV1200 regimen). Thus, plasma APV levels well above the IC 50 s of most HIV isolates were most likely achieved in ESS40011. Higher RTV doses of 200 mg BID and 400 mg BID co-administered with APV600 have resulted in no greater virologic suppression than 100 mg BID [ 25 ] , and raising the dose of APV from 600 mg BID to 900 mg BID does not improve efficacy either, although it may increase the incidence of adverse events [ 20 ] . In conclusion, APV600/RTV BID was similar to or better than APV1200 BID based on virologic results using the 200-copies/mL HIV-1 RNA endpoint. Of note, a significantly greater proportion of patients in the APV600/RTV treatment arm achieved HIV-1 RNA <50 copies/mL at week 24, which was a secondary endpoint. Other beneficial features of the APV600/RTV regimen, such as improved dosing convenience and reduced pill burden, need to be factored into decision making when APV600/RTV is being considered by clinicians as a therapeutic option for the treatment of either antiretroviral-nave or -experienced patients with HIV infection. Background With one million new cases each year, breast cancer is the most common cancer among women and is the leading cause of death in women 30 to 70 years of age in the world. Breast cancer results from genetic and environmental factors including diet, radiation and hormones [ 1 2 3 4 5 ] . The molecular events involved in breast carcinogenesis, however, remain to be elucidated. Numerous studies have shown that polypeptide growth factors such as insulin-like growth factors (IGFs) are mitogens for breast cancer cells [ 6 7 8 9 ] . The IGF-I and IGF-II signal through a common tyrosine kinase receptor, the insulin-like growth factor 1 receptor (IGF1R), and have mitogenic and cell survival actions that may promote tumor development. Modulation of this mitogenic pathway occurs in part via the M6P/IGF2R, which functions in the internalization and degradation of IGF-II [ 10 ] . M6P/IGF2R is also important in activation of TGF-, a potent growth inhibitor for most cell types, and in binding, transport and activation of lysosomal enzymes, such as cathepsins [ 12 13 ] . It has been shown that M6P/IGF2R expression is significantly reduced in both rat and human hepatocellular carcinomas [ 14 ] . Loss of hetorozygosity (LOH) at the M6P/IGF2 receptor gene locus on 6q26-27 coupled with somatic point mutations in the remaining allele has recently been demonstrated in liver and breast cancers [ 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 ] . In addition, somatic mutations of the M6P/IGF2R gene were also found in prostate cancer, lung carcinoma, and genetically unstable cancers of the endometrium, brain, stomach and colorectum [ 24 25 26 27 28 29 ] . The findings of LOH and mutations of M6P/IGF2R in a wide variety of tumor types have led to the proposition that the M6P/IGF2R is a tumor suppressor gene. In addition to genetic data, a tumor suppressor gene candidate has to meet functional criteria. The functional characteristics of a tumor suppressor gene have not been well established for M6P/IGF2R. Thus, further studies that address the relationship between the functional M6P/IGF2R level and cell growth activity are needed. To verify whether decreased levels of functional M6P/IGF2R can provide a growth advantage for cancer cells, we used viral and ribozyme strategies to reduce the expression of M6P/IGF2R in human breast cancer cells and then examined the effect on growth and apoptosis of these cells. Methods Construction of a recombinant adenoviral vector containing the M6P/IGF2R-ribozyme A 49 bp M6P/IGF2R ribozyme oligonucleotide, 5'-GAATTCTCCACACTGATGAGCCGCTTCGGCGGCGAAACATTCAACGCGT-3' and the corresponding reverse complementary strand were synthesized. The fragments were subcloned into pRz951 to produce a plasmid (designated as pRz-IGF2R) containing a ribozyme targeted against the M6P/IGF2R. For construction of the recombinant adenovirus containing the M6P/IGF2R-ribozyme (pAd-GFP/Rz-IGF2R), the segments containing the ribozymes were amplified by PCR and cloned into a pAdTrack-CMV vector and then recombined homologously with an adenoviral backbone pAdEasy 1 vector to generate pAd-GFP/Rz-IGF2R, following the protocol described by He et al [ 30 ] . The pAd-GFP/Rz-IGF2R carries both the Rz-IGF2R and GFP (as reporter) genes, each under the control of separate cytomegalovirus (CMV) promoters. Another viral vector, pAd-GFP, which carries the GFP gene only under the control of the CMV promoter, was generated and used as a control vector. The adenoviral vector DNA were linerized with Pac I and transfected into the replication-permissive 293 cells (E1A transcomplementing cell line) using Lipofectamine (Life Technologies) to produce E1-deleted, replication-defective recombinant adenovirus as described previously [ 30 ] . Large-scale amplification of the recombinant adenovirus in 293 cells was followed by purification using a discontinuous CsCl gradient. The constructs were confirmed by enzymatic digestion and DNA sequencing. Transcription and cleavage reaction of the ribozyme in vitro Plasmids containing the ribozyme or the substrate (either 45 bp of M6P/IGF2R mRNA or an unmatched sequence 5'-ATATTGTCCAGTGC-3') were linearized with Mlu I. All transcripts were generated with T7 RNA polymerase (Promega). Substrate transcripts were labeled by incorporation of [ 32P]UTP (10 Ci/ml; Nen Life Science Products, Inc.). Specific activity of the [ 32P]UTP and the base composition of each substrate molecule were used to calculate substrate concentration. Ribozyme transcripts were quantified spectrophotometrically. Cleavage reactions contained 30 nM substrate RNA, increasing amounts (60 nM) of ribozyme, 20 mM MgCl 2 and 20 mM Tris-HCl (pH 8.0), 1 l DTT, and 1 l RNA inhibitor in a final volume of 10 l. Cleavage reactions were incubated at 37C for 2 hrs. Reactions were stopped by addition of loading buffer: 80% formamide, 10 mM Na 2 EDTA (pH 8.0), and 1 mg/ml each bromophenol blue and xylene cyanol. Cleavage products were analyzed on 15% polyacrylamide and 8 M urea denaturing gels. NIH Imager was used to quantitate product and substrate fragments. Cell cultures and infection with Ad-GFP/IGF2R-Rz and Ad-GFP MCF-7 cells were cultured in DMEM medium containing 10% FBS at 37C in a tissue culture incubator with 5% CO 2 and 98% relative humidity. Cells were used for experiments after 2-3 days in culture. Viral infections were carried out by adding viral particles at various concentrations (usually, 2 10 8virus particles/ml) to culture medium containing 2% FBS. Initially, optimal viral concentration was determined by using Ad-GFP to achieve an optimal balance of high gene expression and low viral titer to minimize cytotoxicity. After 24 hrs of incubation, the infection medium was replaced with normal (10% FBS) culture medium. For treatment with IGF-II, cells were incubated with 50 ng/ml IGF-II after infection with Ad-GFP/IGF2R-Rz or Ad-GFP. Seventy two hrs post infection, cells were used for analysis of M6P/IGF2R gene expression and its effect on cell growth. Analysis of M6P/IGF2R gene expression in MCF-7 cells The M6P/IGF2R transcripts were determined by RT-PCR using the GeneAmp EZ rTt RNA PCR kit (Roche). Total RNA was extracted from cultured cells using an RNA isolation kit (Qiagen), according to the manufacturer's protocol. M6P/IGF2R transcripts were amplified using primers 5'-GACAGGCTTGTCCTGAGTTA-3' and 5'-TTCTGCTCTGGTTCTGCATG 3', specific to the M6P/IGF2R receptor. Each RT-PCR assay was performed in triplicate. Primers specific for human -actin cDNA were added to a parallel reaction to standardize for variations in PCR between samples. PCR products were resolved on a 1.0 % agarose gel, visualized under UV light and quantitated using NIH Imager. Measurement of 125I -IGF-II internalization Cells were incubated at 37C for 2 hrs in serum-free DMEM containing 125I-labeled IGF-II (0.5 ng/ml) with or without excess unlabeled IGF-II (2 g/ml). Following the incubation, the cells were washed three times with ice-cold PBS, and cell-associated radioactivity was determined by a -counter. Specific internalized 125I-IGF-II was calculated by subtracting the counts of samples with excessive unlabeled IGF-II from that without unlabeled IGF-II, and normalized to protein content. Beta-glucuronidase binding assay Binding of -glucuronidase was assayed as described previously [ 31 32 ] . Briefly, cells were permeabilized with 0.25% saponin in 50 mM Hepes (pH 7.0), 150 mM NaCl, 5 mM -glycerophosphate, 0.5% human serum albumin, and 10 mM mannose-6-phosphate (M6P) for 30 minutes on ice. The cells were washed three times with ice-cold PBS containing 0.05% saponin. They were incubated with 20,000 units/ml -glucuronidase from bovine liver (Sigma) in 50 mM Hepes (pH 7.5) containing 150 mM NaCl, 5 mM -glycerophosphate, 0.5% human serum albumin, 0.5% saponin with or without 10 mM M6P overnight on ice. Cells were washed five times with ice-cold PBS containing 0.05% saponin and sonicated in 100 mM sodium acetate (pH 4.6). The protein concentration of solubilized cell extract was measured and enzyme activity was assayed as follows: for each reaction 50 l cell extract were added to 500 l of 100 mM sodium acetate (pH 4.0) containing 1 mM paranitrophenyl (PNP)--glucuronide (Sigma) as substrate. After an incubation period of 3 hours at 37C, 500 l 1 M Na 2 CO 3 were added to each reaction and the absorbance was measured at 400 nm. Experimental values were compared to a standard curve that was constructed using 1-100 nM solutions of PNP (Sigma) in 500 l 100 mM sodium acetate and 500 l 1 M Na 2 CO 3 . Specific activity was calculated as nM of PNP produced/hour/mg of protein. Beta-glucuronidase endocytosis assay Beta-glucuronidase endocytosis assay was carried out as described previously [ 33 ] . Briefly, confluent cell cultures were washed twice with pre-warmed serum-free DMEM followed by incubation with DMEM containing 5 mg/ml human serum albumin and 10 mM M6P for 20 minutes. Following incubation cells were washed 3 times with pre-warmed DMEM. Cells were then incubated in DMEM containing 5 mg/ml human serum albumin alone or 4000 units -glucuronidase with or without 10 mM M6P for 2 hours at 37C. Following the incubation, the cells were washed 5 times with ice-cold PBS and subjected to enzyme activity assay as described above. Cell proliferation assay (MTT assay and cell counting) MCF-7 cells were grown in culture plates (tissue culture grade, 12 wells, flat bottom) in a final volume of 1 ml serum-containing culture medium per well, in a humidified atmosphere at 37C and 5% CO 2 for 3 days. After infection with Ad-GFP/IGF2R-Rz or Ad-GFP, cells were incubated with or without 50 ng/ml IGF-II for 4 days. 100 l MTT labelling reagent were added to each well and incubated for 4 hrs, followed by addition of 1 ml solubilization solution into each well. The cells were incubated at 37C overnight. Spectrophotometrical absorbency of the samples was measured using an UV-visible Recording Spectrophotometer with wavelength of 550-690 nm. In addition, the total number of viable cells in each treatment group was counted by a trypan blue exclusion method using a hemocytometer. Analysis of cell apoptosis MCF-7 cells were infected with Ad-GFP or Ad-GFP/Rz-IGF2R. Seventy two hrs post infection, cells were treated with TNF (0.1 ng/ml) for 24 hrs. Apoptotic cells were identified by Hoechst staining using the Vybrant Apoptosis Kit #5 (Molecular Probes) according to the manufacturer's protocol. In addition, after infection with Ad-GFP or Ad-GFP/Rz-IGF2R and treatment with TNF, cell viability was assessed using the MTT assay Kit (Roche Molecular Biochemicals) and cell apoptosis was determined using the Cell Death Detection ELISA Kit assay (Roche Molecular Biochemicals) according to the manufacturer's protocol. Statistical analysis Students's t-test was used to evaluate the difference between two values. Each experiment was repeated at least three times. Statistical significance was accepted at the level of p < 0.05. Results Cleavage reaction of the ribozyme in vitro The M6P/IGF2R ribozyme we constructed has 13-bp binding arms complementary to the target site of M6P/IGF2R mRNA, and a catalytic core (Fig. 1A). To evaluate the bioactivity/specificity of the ribozyme and the accessibility of the target site, a cleavage reaction in vitro was performed. The substrates, [- 32P] labeled RNA transcripts containing 45 bp of M6P/IGF2R mRNA or an unmatched sequence, were incubated with the ribozyme as described (see Materials and Methods). The ribozyme cleaved only the M6P/IGF2R mRNA into the expected products. In this assay, the hammerhead ribozyme was able to cleave about 50% of the M6P/IGF2R target within 2 hr of incubation, and by 12 hrs, more than 90% of the M6P/IGF2R target was converted to the expected products (Fig. 1B). These results indicate a high efficiency and specificity of the ribozyme in vitro. Expression of the M6P/IGF2R-ribozyme in cultured MCF-7 cells To test whether infection of cultured cells with the Ad-GFP/Rz-IGF2R can induce the expression of the ribozyme (Rz-IGF2R), total RNA was extracted from cells infected with Ad-GFP/IGF2R-Rz or Ad-GFP, and subjected to RT-PCR using ribozyme-specific primers. As shown in Fig. 2, infection of MCF-7 cells with Ad-GFP/Rz-IGF2R resulted in positive expression of the ribozyme as determined by RT-PCR. As expected, the ribozyme sequence-specific primers produced a 430-bp PCR fragment only in cells infected with Ad-GFP/Rz-IGF2R, but not in cell infected with the control viral vector Ad-GFP. Ribozyme treatment reduces M6P/IGF2R expression in MCF-7 cells To examine the ability of the ribozyme to reduce levels of M6P/IGF2R mRNA in MCF-7 cells, total RNA was extracted from cells infected with Ad-GFP/IGF2R-Rz or Ad-GFP, and subjected to RT-PCR using M6P/IGF2R-specific primers. A primer specific for human -actin was added to a parallel reaction to serve as an internal standard. Cells were used 72 hrs post infection with average infection efficiency of 50-60% (for which a viral dose used had minimal cytotoxicity). The RT-PCR product of M6P/IGF2R was 730 bp, and the -actin product was 285 bp. As shown in Fig. 3, the Ad-GFP/Rz-IGF2R-infected cells exhibit a significantly lower level of M6P/IGF2R mRNA than Ad-GFP-infected cells, with a reduction of about 40%. There was no significant difference in the level of M6P/IGF2R mRNA between Ad-GFP-infected cells and uninfected cells (data not shown); indicating that infection with the adenovirus itself did not alter the endogenous M6P/IGF2R mRNA level. These results demonstrate that the ribozyme was highly effective in suppressing M6P/IGF2R expression in cultured MCF-7 cells. Effect of ribozyme expression on the functional activity of M6P/IGF2R To determine the effect of the ribozyme on the functional activity of M6P/IGF2R, the binding and internalization of exogenous 125I-IGF-II was measured in cells infected with Ad-GFP/Rz-IGF2R or Ad-GFP. As shown in Fig. 4A, cells infected with Ad-GFP/Rz-IGF2R had a corresponding reduction of ~40% in 125I-IGF-II internalization when compared with control cells (infected with Ad-GFP). We also examined the effect of the ribozyme on the M6P-binding activity of the M6P/IGF2R using the M6P-bearing lysosomal enzyme, -glucuronidase, as a probe. The results showed that the maximal M6P-binding capacity of MCF-7 cells treated with the ribozyme was about 39% less than that of controls (Fig. 4B). Furthermore, we assessed the ability of MCF-7 cells to internalize exogenous -glucuronidase after treatment with ribozyme. Similarly, the M6P-inhibitable endocytosis of -glucuronidase by ribozyme-treated MCF-7 cells was about 38% less than that of control cells (Fig. 4C). These results confirm that the number of functional M6P/IGF2R in ribozyme-treated cells was reduced. Effects of M6P/IGF2R-ribozyme expression on proliferation of MCF-7 cells We examined the effects of ribozyme-induced M6P/IGF2R down-regulation on the growth of cultured MCF-7 cells. We did not observe any difference in cell growth between GFP-only infected and non-infected cells (data not shown). Thus, all subsequent experiments were performed using GFP-only infected cells as control. Assessment of cell proliferative activity by MTT assay and counting of viable cells (data not shown) indicated that the number of MCF-7 cells in ribozyme-expressing cultures was significantly higher than that in control cultures (Fig. 5). These differences in growth pattern and cell number were even more significant when the cultures were treated with exogenous IGF-II (50 ng/ml, supplemented to culture medium) (Fig. 5). These results suggest that decreasing M6P/IGF2R expression by the ribozyme can enhance proliferation of human breast cancer MCF-7 cells via an IGF-II-related mechanism. Effect of M6P/IGF2R-ribozyme expression on apoptosis of MCF-7 cells We examined the effects of ribozyme expression on apoptosis of cultured MCF-7 cells. After treatment with TNF, as shown in Fig. 6, a large number of control cells underwent apoptosis, as indicated by morphological changes (small round shape) and bright blue nuclear staining. There were significantly more apoptotic cells in control cultures than in cultures expressing the Ad-GFP/IGF2R-Rz. Accordingly, the number of viable cells, as measured by MTT analysis, in cultures infected with Ad-GFP/IGF2R-Rz was significantly (about 40%) higher than in cultures infected with Ad-GFP (Fig. 7A). The number of apoptotic cells, as measured by the cell death ELISA assay, in cultures infected with Ad-GFP/IGF2R-Rz was significantly (about 36%) lower than in cultures infected with Ad-GFP (Fig. 7B). These results are consistent with the hypothesis that decreasing M6P/IGF2R expression by ribozyme treatment can reduce cell apoptosis. Discussion A growing body of genetic evidence suggests that the M6P/IGF2 receptor is involved in carcinogenesis [ 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 ] . However, direct evidence of a growth-regulatory activity for M6P/IGF2R is lacking. In this study, using ribozyme technology, we demonstrate an association of decreased expression and function of the M6P/IGF2R with increased cell proliferation and decreased susceptibility to TNF-induced apoptosis in human breast cancer MCF-7 cells. Expression of the ribozyme targeted against the M6P/IGF2 receptor in MCF-7 cells resulted in down-regulation of M6P/IGF2R expression, as measured by RT-PCR, and M6P/IGF2R function, indicated by a decrease in internalization of 125I-IGF-II, and -glucuronidase binding and endocytosis. Although we have not ruled out a RNAi effect in cells, the observed effects are likely the consequence of the specific cleavage of IGF2R mRNA by the ribozyme we used. MTT analysis and viable cell counts showed that ribozyme-mediated down-regulation of M6P/IGF2R also resulted in increased cell proliferation. Noticeably, the effect of ribozyme expression on cell growth was more apparent in the presence of IGF-II. This result suggests that the proliferative effect of M6P/IGF2R down-regulation is likely the result of unchecked IGF-II stimulation. Because the M6P/IGF2R is believed to sequester and degrade IGF-II [ 10 ] , a decrease in M6P/IGF2R could result in decreased degradation and hence increased bioavailability of IGF-II to the IGF-I receptor, which mediates the growth-promoting effect of IGF-II. Supporting evidence for the involvement of IGF-II in the proliferative effect resulting from loss of M6P/IGF2R function comes from studies of M6P/IGF2R knock-out mice. M6P/IGF2R-null mice display global hyperplasia that coincides with elevated levels of IGF-II. Most importantly, however, the lethal nature of an M6P/IGF2R-null phenotype is reversed in an IGF-II-null background [ 34 ] . Although we did not measure extracellular levels of IGF-II, our results show that ribozyme-mediated down-regulation of M6P/IGF2R leads to a decrease in IGF-II internalization, supporting the above possibility. Our results also showed that M6P/IGF2R down-regulation resulted in decreased sensitivity of MCF-7 cells to TNF-induced apoptosis. Although we do not rule out the potential contribution of the IGF-II pathway to this effect, we would like to consider other potential M6P/IGF2R-dependent mechanisms, such as lysosomal proteases and TGF- signaling, that may directly affect cell sensitivity to apoptosis. Recent evidence suggests that lysosomal enzymes, such as cathepsins B and D contribute to TNF-induced apoptosis in vitro [ 35 36 37 38 ] and in vivo [ 39 ] . The M6P/IGF2 receptor has been shown to be involved in binding, transport and activation of lysosomal enzymes, including cathepsins [ 12 13 ] . Therefore, it is possible that down-regulation of the M6P/IGF2R results in improper trafficking and activation of cathepsins. This, in turn would eliminate the apoptotic cascades triggered by these enzymes under TNF stimulation and result in decreased sensitivity of MCF-7 cells to apoptosis. It has also been shown that TNF stimulation involves the activation of TGF- [ 40 41 42 ] , a potent growth inhibitor for many cell types and a ligand of M6P/IGF2R. In fact, activation of TGF- requires the binding of latent TGF- to the M6P/IGF2 receptor [ 11 ] . Therefore, down-regulation of M6P/IGF2R expression could also lead to a decreased bioavailability of activated TGF-, thereby decreasing the sensitivity of MCF-7 cells to the TGF- apoptotic pathway. A detailed mechanism of the observed effect is currently under investigation. Conclusions Our findings that ribozyme-mediated decrease in expression and functional activity of the M6P/IGF2R result in a growth advantage for MCF-7 cells indicate that this receptor acts as a negative regulator of cell growth. This is consistent with previous observations that M6P/IGF2R knockout mice displayed generalized increased growth and cardiomygaly (resulting from cardiac myocyte hyperplasia) [ 34 ] , and that antisense-mediated reduction of M6P/IGF2R expression enhances tumorigenicity in JEG-3 cells [ 43 ] . Thus, loss or mutation of M6P/IGF2R may contribute to development and progression of tumors via different pathways: by increasing the mitogenic activity of IGF-II and decreasing the apoptotic signaling of TGF- and lysosomal proteases. Further studies using various cell types or using animals are needed to address this issue. Ribozyme technology, as we show here, is a useful tool for these studies. Abbreviations Ad-GFP, adenovirus carrying GFP gene; Ad-GFP/Rz-IGF2R, adenovirus carrying both ribozyme against M6P/IGF2R and GFP gene; GFP, green fluorescent protein; IGF-II, insulin-like growth factor II; M6P/IGF2R, mannose 6-phosphate/insulin-like growth factor II receptor; Rz, ribozyme, TGF- transforming growth factor beta. Competing interests None declared. Authors' contributions ZC carried out ribozyme construction and functional assays, YG carried out virus construction, infection and RT-PCR, NL drafted the manuscript, JXK conceived the study, participated in its design and coordination. All authors read and approved the manuscript. Background Although a number of recently introduced chemotherapeutic agents have demonstrated significant anti-tumor activity in advanced colorectal cancer, [ 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 ] standard therapy for patients with metastatic disease remains 5-fluorouracil (5-FU) - based chemotherapy. [ 10 ] A vast series of pre-clinical and clinical studies have suggested 5-FU is a more active anti-tumor agent when modulated by a host of compounds including leucovorin, [ 11 12 13 ] methotrexate, [ 14 ] folinic acid, [ 15 16 ] N-phosphonacetyl-L-aspartic acid (PALA) [ 17 18 19 20 21 22 ] and recombinant interferon alfa-2a (IFNa-2a). [ 23 24 ] Protracted venous infusion (PVI) 5-FU regimens have also resulted in increased response rates in some studies, but only results in a modest benefit in median survival. [ 25 26 ] Oral fluoropyrimidines and oral regimens using prodrugs of 5-FU or inhibitors of dihydropyrimidine dehydrogenase (DPD) which pharmacologically simulate the intravenous continuous infusion administration of 5-FU are currently under clinical evaluation. Although these studies are important and may demonstrate equivalency, it is not clear these oral compounds will result in a significant improvement compared to the intravenous infusion of 5-FU. [ 27 ] Potentiation of the anti-tumor activity of 5-FU by methotrexate (MTX) and leucovorin (LV) requires careful scheduling to achieve the most favorable interactions between these 3 drugs. In vitro and in vivo studies have both suggested a synergistic as well as antagonistic effect when 5-FU, MTX and LV are used in combination. [ 28 29 30 31 32 ] In this report, two modulators of 5-FU were used in a sequential manner, anticipating an enhancement of the efficacy of 5-FU before the development of 5-FU resistance and subsequent disease progression. The order of administration of the three agents was chosen to optimally exploit the reported differing mechanisms of biochemical modulation. The objectives of this phase II study were to determine the activity and toxicity of MTX/LV/5-FU in patients with advanced colorectal cancer. Patients and Methods Treatment Plan Consistent with the traditional design of phase II studies, all patients received therapy as outlined in the treatment schema in figure 1. Methotrexate was administered at a dose of 30 mg/m 2orally every 6 hours on an empty stomach for 6 doses. At hour 36 a 2 hour intravenous infusion of leucovorin was administered at a dose of 500 mg/m 2. Midway through the leucovorin infusion, 5-FU at a dose of 600 mg/m 2was given as a 30 minute intravenous bolus infusion. This represented a course of therapy and was repeated every two weeks. Dose modifications for hematologic toxicity were made on the basis of counts on the day of treatment. For a white blood count = 3,500 cells/ul or a platelet count = 100,000 platelets/ul - patients received full doses of all three drugs as described above. For a white blood count between 3,000 and 3,500 cells/ul and a platelet count = 100,000 platelets/ul, a 50% dose reduction of all three drugs was performed. For white blood counts less than 3,000 cells/ul and a platelet count < 100,000 platelets/ul - all therapy was held until the counts had fully recovered (white blood count = 3,500 cells/ul and a platelet count = 100,000). Patients experiencing a white blood count = 2,000 and/or a platelet count = 75,000 any time during therapy subsequently received 50% of the calculated dose even if the counts fully recovered. Weekly complete blood counts, including platelet counts and white blood count differentials were conducted to determine the level of myelosuppresion. Before every other cycle of treatment (q 4 weeks), a chest x-ray and complete chemistry panel including electrolytes and serum creatinine were obtained. All lesions were measured bidimensionally and assessed for changes by either an imaging study (computed tomography, chest x-ray, ultrasound) or by clinical examination to determine response to therapy. Treatment was continued until disease progression became evident or side effects became intolerable. Statistical Methods This study was planned to recruit 50 evaluable patients, allowing us to estimate objective tumor response to within +/- 15% with 95% confidence. Additional patients were subsequently accrued to increase the precision of our estimates of response and survival. The trial was conducted with one interim analysis after nine evaluable patients. If no patient had experienced an objective tumor response, the study would have been terminated. The two-stage design used in this study was first proposed by Ed Gehan in 1961 (Gehan E.A. The determination of the number of patients required in a preliminary and a follow-up trial of a new chemotherapeutic agent. J. Chron. Dis. 13:346-353, 1961). The probability of observing no responses was less than 5% if the true response was 30% or greater. Progression-free survival was defined as the time from study entry to the first observation of disease progression or death as a result of any cancer. Survival was defined as the time of study entry until death as a result of any cause. These time-to-event parameters were summarized using Kaplan-Meier product-limit estimates. Log rank tests were used to assess which factors were univariately predictive of the time to progression and survival, and the Cox proportional hazards regression model was used to assess which factors were jointly predictive of these outcomes. The statistical analysis was performed using the SAS package, version 6.12 (SAS Institute, Cary, NC). Results Treatment and Response A total of 1257 cycles of treatment were delivered during the trial (median 9 cycles; range 0 to 41 cycles). Table 2reflects the average percent of ideal dose given at each selected cycle of treatment. Even after 25 cycles of therapy, at least 75% of the ideal doses for all drugs were being administered. Ninety-three of the 95 eligible patients enrolled onto the study were assessable for toxicity. Mucositis, nausea/vomiting and diarrhea were the most commonly observed toxicities and are listed in table 3. The hematologic toxicities are also shown in table 3and in general were infrequently observed. Overall the regimen was well tolerated. Of the 90 patients evaluable for response, ten patients (11%) demonstrated a complete response of their disease (median response duration 14.3 months). Remarkably, 3 of the 10 patients remain alive, 2 without evidence of disease with 51, 73 and 138 months of follow-up, respectively. An additional 18 patients (20%) attained partial responses; 16 have died of progressive disease while 2 patients are alive and without disease progression. Table 4reflects the overall best response for the entire patient cohort. The overall estimated median time to progression was 5.6 months. The estimated progression free survival at 12 months was 25.5% (standard error 4.5%). The overall estimated median survival time was 13.0 months. The estimated survival rate at 12 months was 53.7% (standard error 5.1%). Table 5reflects overall survival for various subgroups of patients. The prognostic factors found to be significant on univariate analysis were ECOG performance score, gender and number of metastatic sites. Female patients, patients with fewer metastatic sites and patients with an ECOG performance 0 had a statistically significant improved survival. Survival by metastatic site is shown in Table 6. Those patients without lung metastasis and those without intra-abdominal metastasis had longer survival times. In the multivariate analysis, presence of lymph nodes, lower LDH levels female sex, better performance status and fewer metastatic sites were statistically predictive of longer survival (Data not shown). Discussion The rationale, at least in part, for this phase II study comes from pre-clinical data suggesting MTX and LV potentiate the anti-tumor activity of 5-FU. The cytotoxic effects of 5-FU are mediated through inhibition of DNA and/or RNA synthesis. [ 33 ] DNA synthesis inhibition is mediated by the binding of the active 5-FU metabolite 5-fluoro-2'deoxyuridine - 5-monophosphate (F-dUMP) to the enzyme thymidylate synthetase (TS). This binding is enhanced by high concentrations of reduced folate cofactors. [ 34 ] Although this ternary complex is covalent, it dissociates with a half-life of 2-3 hours in the absence of excess 5, 10-methylene tetrahydrofolate. Thus high levels of 5, 10-methylene tetrahydrofolate derived from LV not only allows optimum ternary complex formation, but also prevents subsequent breakdown of the complex. [ 35 ] Additional in vitro studies suggest cells may need prolonged exposure to reduced folates in order to obtain maximum inhibition of TS by FdUMP. [ 36 ] A second observed means of potentiating the cytotoxic effects of 5-FU is through the pre-treatment of cells with MTX. MTX-induced enhancement of 5-phosphoribosyl-1-pyrophosphate (PRPP) pools with subsequent increased synthesis of 5-FU nucleotides and incorporation of 5-fluoriuridine - 5'-triphosphate (FUTP) into RNA has been proposed as the basis for this biochemical modulation. [ 37 38 39 ] Subsequent in vivo studies using fluorine 19 magnetic resonance spectroscopy confirmed a three-fold increase in 5-fluoronucleotide (FNuct), the active 5-FU metabolite, following the pre-treatment of animals with MTX [ 32 ] . These observed changes in 5-FU catabolism resulted in a greater anti-tumor activity than MTX given alone or MTX given after 5-FU. Consistent with these pre-clinical studies, the design of this phase II trial involved a fluorouracil infusion that was initiated one hour into the 2 hour high dose infusion of LV and 36 hours after the initial methotrexate dosing. Our phase II study provides long-term efficacy and safety data for sequential MTX-LV-5-FU chemotherapy administered on a 14-day cycle. The 31% response rate and median survival duration (median 13.0 months) observed in this trial are slightly improved when compared to the results reported for intravenous 5-FU therapy. Overall, treatment with sequential MTX-LV-5-FU was very well-tolerated. Grade III diarrhea was seen in only 8% of patients, grade III and IV mucositis in 8% and 1% of patients respectively and grade III and IV nausea/vomiting in 11% and 1% of patients respectively. The most common hematologic toxicity observed was grade II and III anemia in 18% and 4% of patients respectively. Other similar studies have shown comparable results in terms of the efficacy and safety of MTX-LV-5-FU for patients with advanced colorectal cancer [ 44 45 46 47 48 ] . In a meta analysis of eight randomized trials of 5-FU/MTX versus 5-FU alone, the complete and partial response rates for the 5-FU patient cohort was 10% compared with 19% for patients receiving MTX/5-FU. [ 14 ] In addition, the median survival was improved for patients receiving MTX/5-FU, 10.7 months versus 9.1 months for patients receiving 5-FU alone ( p = .024). Marsh et al. in a randomized trial, reported a statistical improvement in response, time to progression (9.9 months versus 5.9 months) and median survival (15.3 months versus 11.4 months) when the interval between the MTX and 5-FU infusion was increased from 1 hour to 24 hours. Conclusions We suggest our results and the pre-clinical and clinical data discussed indicate the sequence of administration of 5-FU with MTX and LV is important. Future studies combining 5-FU with other cytotoxic / biologic compounds should consider the mechanism of the interaction and incorporate that information into the design of the trial. Abbreviations 5-FU: 5-fluorouracil PALA: N-phosphonacetyl-L-aspartic acid IFNa-2a: Interferon alfa-2a PVI: Protracted venous infusion DPD: dihydropyrimidine dehydrogenase MTX: Methotrexate LV: Leucovorin ECOG: Eastern Cooperative Oncology F-dUMP: 5-fluoro-2'deoxyuridine - 5-monophosphate TS: thymidylate synthetase PRPP: 5-phosphoribosyl-1-pyrophosphate FUTP: 5-fluoriuridine - 5'-triphosphate FNuct: 5-fluoronucleotide Authors' Contributions DRW and PS were involved in the original design and accrual to this phase II clinical trial. The manuscript was prepared and written by SKT and AWB. The manuscript was then read and revised by members of the Gastrointestinal Research Group at Wake Forest University (SAM and VH). LDC wrote and performed all statistical analysis and preparation of the data presented in this manuscript. Background Recent U.S. national surveys [ 1 ] show that in 1999, 18.9% of Americans were frankly obese, a marked increase from 17.8% in 1998, underscoring the fact that over the last few decades, an emerging epidemic of obesity has become a major cause of preventable death [ 2 ] and disease [ 3 ] . Recognizing the effects of obesity on the nation's health, governments and industry have vigorously pursued the genetic, metabolic and environmental roots of obesity [ 4 5 6 7 ] . Despite the effort, it remains true that little is known about prevention of obesity and its treatment remains no less difficult or failure prone than it ever was [ 8 9 10 ] . Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) is also a common disorder, even if its prevalence is not precisely known. In children, the rate of occurrence has customarily been given as 3 to 5%, but recent studies show the condition is present in 15% or more of school age populations [ 11 12 ] . Persistence of ADHD into adulthood has been shown to occur in 30 to 50% (or more) of childhood cases [ 13 ] , depending on the criteria used [ 14 ] . It is clear that adults with a history of ADHD in childhood have greater difficulty functioning compared to their non-ADHD peers [ 15 ] . One example is the higher rate of substance use disorders in ADHD adults compared to the general population [ 16 ] , such use often viewed as a kind of "self-medication" of unpleasant emotions [ 16 ] . In obesity, similar patterns of eating (seeking immediate gratification, using food to reduce dysphoria) have been observed [ 17 ] , though not previously linked to ADHD. It is established that obesity has serious medical sequelae, and that both obesity and ADHD have psychiatric comorbidities [ 18 19 20 21 22 23 ] , but surprisingly, searches found no existing literature describing comorbid obesity and ADHD (OB+ADHD). However, one study [ 24 ] reported a potentially relevant correlation between symptoms of conduct disorder (but not depression) during adolescence and obesity in early adulthood, attributed to common mechanisms underlying "impulsive aggression" and dysregulation of body weight. The role of impulsivity in this correlation is important, given that impulsive behavior is common in adolescents with ADHD, pointing to a connection between ADHD and development of obesity, an idea consistent with our clinical observation that impulsive eating behaviors are common in adult and adolescent OB+ADHD patients. With persistent effort some bariatric patients have been able to achieve and maintain a reduced level of body fat. In the bariatric clinic at Behavioral Medicine Center for Treatment and Research (BMedCTR) in Portland, Oregon, among the patients who failed, a subset was observed to have unusual difficulty adhering to diet and exercise plans, and as a result lost less fat mass than typically occurs. Diagnostic evaluation showed a substantial fraction of these patients had Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), a condition that was recognized in our clinical work as a risk factor for poor treatment outcome. Fortunately, ADHD patients often responded to pharmacological and behavior therapies, with results that included improved task persistence, decreased impulsivity and distractability, and for some, greater success with weight control efforts. Cumulative bariatric clinic experience showed OB+ADHD was commonly encountered, and a potent contributor to obesity treatment failure. In this context it became clear that more information about OB+ADHD was needed and that wider exposure of this comorbidity would be valuable (and interesting) to clinicians treating obese patients. Consequently, this report was constructed to begin exploring the basic characteristics of this heretofore unrecognized population. Methods The primary working hypothesis was that the prevalence of ADHD among obese patients was higher than in the general adult population. In addition, it was anticipated that ADHD patients would have less weight loss, fewer visits and shorter duration of treatment than their non-ADHD peers. Differences between groups were not expected to be widely divergent. The method used to conduct a systematic examination of clinical data was a retrospective review of medical records of patients who had been treated for obesity at BMedCTR during the period, Jan 1, 2000 through Dec 31, 2000, and enrolled in treatment by Nov 30, 2000. The clinic's scheduling database referenced 215 unique individuals who were active patients during the study period. Data relevant to demographic and clinical status was collected from medical records including age, sex, body mass index (BMI) at first and last visits, interval between first and last visits, number of visits, and diagnosis of ADHD entered in the record during the course of obesity treatment. This diagnosis was not determined retrospectively, although the diagnosis was confirmed to be supported by the written record of behavioral observations. The 215 records were were divided into 3 groups: patients without ADHD (NAD), those with ADHD symptoms or behaviors, but not meeting diagnostic criteria for ADHD (ADSx), and patients with ADHD (AD). Diagnosis of ADHD was made by the author during the course of patients' obesity treatment, using semi-structured interviews over one or more visits. Structure was in accord with DSM-IV criteria, that is, a patient needed to have shown, or given substantial history of 6 or more inattentive behaviors to be considered as having ADHD. Patients who had fewer than 6, but at least 3 inattentive symptoms were classified as having symptoms of ADHD but not diagnosed as having the disorder. None of the patients had as many as 6 hyperactive-impulsive symptoms. (Patients' inattentive and hyperactive/impulsive behaviors were not separately tabulated during records review.) At the time diagnoses had been made, a behavior was not considered a symptom of ADHD if occurring only in association with obesity treatment, for example, trouble adhering to diet or exercise plans. A significant level of impairment associated with symptoms was required for ADHD to be diagnosed. While many of the patients had current or past treatment for depression or anxiety, these conditions were required to be in remission or insufficiently prominent to obscure or account for ADHD behavior or impairment for the diagnosis of ADHD to be made. The interview method is termed semi-structured because in a clinical setting the approach to each patient was necessarily individualized (at least to some degree). Within this constraint, information was gathered in a reasonably consistent manner, in that the same pieces of information were sought from each patient, the same questions asked of each, even if the order of inquiry varied, that is to say, the path through the "decision tree" reflected patients' differences. During the period of treatment, and diagnosis, a single exception to DSM-IV ADHD diagnostic criteria was made regarding age of onset (nominally 7 years), for several reasons. Pragmatically, adult patients were often uncertain about the precise age symptoms began, though often able to identify a time in early childhood when symptoms were already occurring, e.g., "in the 2nd or 3rd grade", making it impossible to be certain if symptoms were present before age 7. For middle-aged adults, third party confirmation of early events was seldom available, leaving the patient's recall as the only data source. Recent studies have shown that patient memory was consistent enough with other information to be useful for diagnostic purposes [ 25 ] . Patients' reports were likely to be accurate, but there were often "gaps" in memory of early experience, not inconsistent with ADHD in general, favoring an inference that they didn't remember their behavior rather than not having had the behavior. It was concluded that the risk of misdiagnosis by modifying the age of onset criterion was much lower than the risks of not diagnosing a condition for which treatment can make a great difference in life quality. In other words, for this population the risks of underdiagnosing ADHD were judged to be far more consequential than risks of overdiagnosing the disorder. Accordingly, during treatment, diagnosis of ADHD was made when all other DSM-IV criteria were met and symptoms were clearly evident by 12 years of age. A similar point was made by Wender [ 26 ] , who argued that availability of low-risk treatments for debilitating conditions warrants clinicians using less specific criteria to avoid excluding patients who may benefit. A different argument was made by Barkley and Biederman [ 27 ] , that requiring symptoms to have been present by a single, specific point in early childhood in order to diagnose ADHD is not rational, that is, ADHD is better conceptualized as a disorder arising in childhood generally. None of the ADHD group had a level of hyperactivity-impulsivity meeting DSM-IV criteria, therefore all were classifiable as having Inattentive Type of ADHD. Data were tested using Unix-based tools including xmstat and xlispstat. Significance was set at = 0.05. Analysis of variance was applied to means of age, starting BMI, difference between starting and ending BMI, number of visits and length of treatment. Chi-square test was used to determine significance of differences among patient groups and BMI categories. NIH classification [ 3 ] of BMI was used, defining Obesity III (Extreme Obesity) as BMI >= 40, Obesity classes I and II (Obesity) as BMI 30 to 39.9, and Overweight as BMI 25 to 29.9. Results Results are summarized in Table 1. While the patients in the sample were predominantly female, there was no significant difference in age (F = 0.52, df = 2, 212, p = NS) or gender distribution (chi-square = 2.35, df = 2, p = 0.31) among patient groups. Mean Starting BMI - Ending BMI was 3.32 for males, 3.02 for females, but the difference was not significant (unpaired t-test, t = 1.73, df = 21, 192, 213, p = 0.09). Subjects were characterized by a variable level of obesity, divided into one of three obesity classes (overweight:Ov, moderate to severe obesity:I-II, and extreme obesity:III), and a range of symptoms (AD, ADSx, or NAD). These classifications were organized into a 3 3 array which was suitable for determining prevalence of ADHD in whole sample and looking at the differences in ADHD prevalence among the classes of obesity. The whole sample of 215 obese patients, partitioned by ADHD group, contains 59, or 27.4% (95% CI:21.1% to 32.9%) with AD, 72 or 33.5% (CI:27.2% to 39.8%) were ADSx, and 84 or 39.1% (CI:32.6% to 45.6%) were NAD. Chi-square test of patient groups (AD, ADSx, NAD) vs. obesity classes (III, I-II, Ov) showed that differences in the 3 3 table were significant (chi-square = 11.23, df = 4, p < 0.025). The proportion of patients having ADHD in obesity class III (Ob-III) was significantly greater than for Obesity I-II (Ob-I/II) and Ov (chi-square = 9.86, df = 1, p = 0.002). However, the proportion of AD in the Ov class did not significantly differ from Ob-I/II and Ob-III (chi-square = 2.60, df = 1, p = 0.11). There were 26 patients with ADHD and Ob-III, which is 42.6% (CI:36.3% to 48.9%) of all 61 Ob-III patients in the sample. Similarly, there were 23 AD with Ob-I/II (22.8% [CI:14.6% to 31.0%] of 101 Ob-I/II), and 10 AD in Ov (18.9% [CI:8.4% to 29.4%] of 53 Ov), though the value for AD/Ov was not statistically distinct from AD in other obesity classes. Analysis of variance of patients' BMI at the start of treatment showed a significant difference among the group means (F = 5.86, df = 2,212, p = 0.003), with AD having a higher BMI (39.2) than ADSx (35.5) and NAD (34.6). Further analysis with the Fisher multiple comparison test found AD differed from ADSx and NAD, but ADSx and NAD were not significantly different (Fisher, AD-ADSx: p = 0.001, AD-NAD: p = 0.01, ADSx-NAD: p = 0.49). Body weight loss was calculated as Starting BMI - Ending BMI. NAD achieved nearly twice the BMI loss as AD and ADSx, at means of 4.0, 2.6 and 2.3 respectively (F = 6.25, df = 2,212, p = 0.002). NAD was distinct from AD and ADSx (Fisher, NAD-AD: p < 0.009, NAD-ADSx: p < .001, AD-ADSx: p = 0.666). As percent change from Starting BMI, mean loss was 11.2%, 6.5% and 6.3% respectively (F = 8.40, df = 2,212, p =< 0.01), with NAD being significantly different from AD and ADSx which did not differ from each other (Fisher, NAD-AD: p < 0.001, NAD-ADSx: p < .001, AD-ADSx: p = 0.93). The subgroup of patients having Obesity III showed a larger difference in mean BMI change, that is, BMI loss by ADHD status for members of this subgroup was: NAD 7.0 (SD 4.0), AD 2.9 (SD 4.5) and ADSx 3.4 (SD 2.8) (F = 6.09, df = 2,58, p = 0.004). The weight loss for NAD was again different from Obesity III patients who were AD or ADSx, but AD and ADSx were not significantly different (Fisher, NAD-AD: p < 0.001, NAD-ADSx: p < 0.01, AD-ADSx: p < 0.657). The Obesity III AD and NAD were analyzed by the non-parametric approximate randomization test (AR test) which also showed a significant difference between the two groups (p = 0.003 (CI:0.0019 to 0.0041), 10000 randomizations). Among the whole sample of obese patients, mean number of visits was greater in AD (F = 3.69, df = 2,212, p = 0.027) with AD differing significantly from NAD and ADSx (Fisher, AD-NAD: p = 0.02, AD-ADSx: p = 0.01, NAD-ADSx: p = 0.73). AR test applied to the number of visits of AD and NAD revealed a marginally significant difference (p = 0.040 (CI:0.036 to 0.048), 4000 randomizations). The number of months in treatment was not significantly different among the patient groups (F = 2.03, df = 2,212, p = 0.13), though there appeared to be a trend toward alonger duration of treatment in AD. AR test results for AD vs. NAD showed a nearly significant difference, remaining better described as trend toward a difference (p = 0.054 (CI:0.050 to 0.058), 12000 randomizations). Discussion The most important results are the prevalence of ADHD of 27.4% in the sample, and the surprisingly strong association between ADHD and Obesity III. Nearly half, 42.6%, of patients with Obesity III had ADHD, that is, the OB+ADHD population was concentrated in the obesity class having the highest mortality and morbidity risks, and greatest need for effective treatment. Moreover, at all levels of obesity patients with ADHD symptoms were less successful at losing weight than non-ADHD peers. Compared to NAD, AD had a significantly higher starting BMI (39.6 vs. 34.2), yet lost less weight (2.6 vs. 4.0 kg/m 2). Greater contrast is found in Obesity III, with NAD in that class achieving more than twice the weight loss of AD (7.0 vs. 2.9 kg/m 2), while mean weight loss for ADSx did not differ significantly from AD (2.3 vs. 2.6 kg/m 2), implying that the presence of even "subthreshhold" ADHD symptoms reduces the effectiveness of obesity treatment. In other words, in OB+ADHD, treatment outcome has stronger association with symptoms of ADHD than level of obesity. Effect size of ADHD for the whole sample was only about 0.2, but in Obesity III patients, effect size was about 0.5, comparable, for example, to the moderate effect size of SSRI drugs on panic symptoms [ 28 ] . Impersistence was not the cause of worse results for AD, who attended more visits than NAD (56.0 vs. 39.4 mean total visits), over a longer span of time. ADSx was no more successful than AD, but had fewer visits, comparable to NAD, in this respect, ADSx showing characteristics intermediate between AD and NAD. The result is AD, ADSx and NAD having similar rates of clinic visits (AD had 1.5 visits/month, ADSx 1.2 and NAD 1.4), while NAD had the highest rate of BMI decrease (NAD lost 0.14 BMI/month, ADSx 0.075 and AD 0.067). However, these statistics have limited utility, given the large variance in number of visits and months of treatment. The "slow" aspect of task performance in ADHD has been previously reported [ 29 ] , and could be described as a kind of "inefficiency", that is, taking more time to accomplish less. The reasons for a strong association between ADHD and obesity (particularly extreme obesity) are unknown, but there are a number of reported findings that appear to be relevant and certainly interesting. For one, evidence exists that variations of dopamine receptor (DR) genes affect both conditions. In obesity, DRD2 and DRD4 [ 30 31 ] genes, and in ADHD, the DRD4 [ 32 33 ] gene, have been implicated in the transmission of, or predisposition to, the disorders, raising the possibility that similar, overlapping or shared DR functioning (or dysfunction) in these disorders is related to their co-co-occurrence. DRD2 and a range of dopamine and other genes have been associated with a "reward deficiency syndrome" [ 34 ] in which insufficient dopamine-mediated "natural" reward leads to use of "unnatural" rewards, such as substances, gambling, risk taking and inappropriate eating. This syndrome is associated with obesity [ 34 ] , and common in ADHD [ 22 ] . The DRD4 gene has been associated with "novelty seeking" traits, said to be greater in substance abusers [ 30 ] , and individuals with both DRD2 and DRD4 genetic variations may be especially prone to multiple difficulties (e.g., having both ADHD and "reward deficiency syndrome") [ 30 ] , further suggesting obesity and ADHD could share neurobiological attributes. A recent study showed the availability of striatal DRD2 receptors was decreased as a function of increasing BMI [ 35 ] , supporting the idea that reward-seeking behavior plays a role in the onset or continuation of obesity. In other studies, administration of D2 agonists resulted in decreases in hyperinsulinemia associated with obesity [ 36 ] , and it is known that the brain is richly supplied with insulin receptors, including the cortex and striatal areas [ 37 ] , suggesting an intriguing link between insulin resistance, characteristic of obesity, and dopamine-mediated psychiatric symptoms, including ADHD. No doubt, this hypothesis and many far more refined hypotheses will be studied in coming years and will elucidate the complex neurophysiological connections hinted at by the above. The 27.4% prevalence of ADHD in obese patients is considerably higher than found in the general adult population, reported as 4.7% by Murphy and Barkley [ 38 ] . Across studies of other specific populations, prevalence of ADHD or ADHD symptoms was also greater than in general, for example, cocaine abusers 12% [ 39 ] , anxiety disorders 16% [ 40 ] , panic disorder 22% [ 41 ] , and substance abusers 25% [ 42 ] . Considering the differing methods and populations, the reported prevalences are difficult to compare, yet are fairly consistent with one another for the most part. The prevalence of OB+ADHD in this report is plausibly within the range of these studies. The uniformity of the Inattentive subtype of ADHD in this adult population was not unusual or unexpected, considering the well-known attenuation of hyperactive and impulsive symptoms observed as children with ADHD grow into adolescence and adulthood, compared to the much stronger retention of inattentive symptoms [ 14 ] . This is not to say that ADHD adults don't behave impulsively, simply that with maturation, continuing hyperactive/impulsive (H/I) behaviors are usually expressed in less obvious ways than among their school-age counterparts. That is, while ADHD adults frequently have impairing H/I symptoms , the number and types of these behaviors seldom meet DSM-IV diagnostic criteria for the H/I or Combined subtype of ADHD. DSM-IV ADHD subtyping, strictly applied, is likely to have limited correlation to neurobiological processes (assuming processes reflect impulsivity or disinhibition), since the level of symptomatic behavior required for diagnosing DSM-IV H/I or Combined subtypes is higher than nearly all ADHD adults will display, even if substantial H/I behavior is evident. Another factor is that girls, compared to boys, have lower rates of H/I symptoms, which is associated with lower likelihood of being diagnosed in childhood, but if diagnosed, girls more frequently have the Inattentive subtype [ 12 ] . It would be expected that this difference would persist into adulthood, augmenting the likelihood that Inattentive symptoms would predominate the clinical presentation. In a sample in which most patients are female and middle-aged, predominance of the Inattentive subtype is predictable. Inevitably, there are numerous caveats and limitations that apply to this preliminary work. For one, results reflect the origin of data in clinical practice - hardly ideal from a research perspective. Treatment settings may favor a higher case-finding rate because of the opportunity to observe and assess behavior is greater than the methods of prospective research designs. For example, ADHD research instruments have a sensitivity of 70-90% [ 43 44 ] , and would likely identify fewer cases of ADHD than the "gold standard" of careful clinical assessment, expected to find most cases. For this report, diagnosis had been made primarily by one interviewer, which could favor consistency, but also leads to potential biases that skew results. In addition, the modification of age of onset criterion for ADHD may increase difficulty of comparing present results to those of studies using the unmodified criterion. Clearly, for the purpose of comparing prevalence among diverse populations, a prospective design is strongly advantageous, but likely not congruent with the goals of clinical practice. Bias could also be introduced by patient factors, such as comorbid conditions producing symptoms which might not be easily separable from those found in ADHD, and erroneously diagnosed as ADHD. Several disorders common in obese patients fit into this category, e.g., obstructive sleep apnea, depression, and anxiety disorders. While the differential characteristics of these conditions, e.g., relative duration, pervasiveness and continuity of symptoms can help distinguish one from another, the nature and interactions of these comorbidities are not particularly well-delineated. While careful clinical practice requires effort to avoid diagnosing ADHD if symptoms are not sufficiently distinct from those of confounding disorders, reducing error requires further research into the effects of comorbidities intercurrent with ADHD. Another form of bias originates in patients' predisposition to endorse symptoms because of dysphoria, negative affectivity, or readiness to attribute distress to some preferred, rather than actual, source when queried by the interviewer. For the OB+ADHD population, the idea is that some patients may have had a preference for endorsing ADHD symptoms, instead of accepting more accurate explanations for distress or lack of obesity treatment progress, e.g., failure to lose weight while being unwilling to exercise. ("I can't lose weight because I just get so distracted.") Some forms of endorsement bias are readily seen in medical practice, for example, patients who would rather talk about somatic events than discuss their anxieties or depressed mood. Implications for the OB+ADHD population are hard to assess, since this form of bias and its effects on research of ADHD prevalence have not received comparable study, nor are there reports of the frequency of encountering this bias in clinical work with adult ADHD patients. Moreover, no special measures were taken to reduce or account for such biases during the course of diagnosing patients in the present sample, rendering it quite difficult to estimate how much and what kind of effect biases have had on the above reported prevalences of OB+ADHD. At this point, it remains an open question, suggesting additional reasons for cautious interpretation of the results given in this report. The demographic characteristics of the sample population are worth a few comments. Notably, about 90% of the patients were women, which obviously does not reflect the general population, but may not be surprising in this context because more women than men are concerned about weight gain, and are more likely to seek medical care than male contemporaries. The patients as a group were also distinctly middle-aged, no doubt reflecting the fact that older individuals are more likely to be able to afford non-insured medical care (obesity treatment isn't covered under most policies), and the time to devote to their own needs. Some effects of demographic factors on diagnosis of ADHD were discussed above. Gender and age differences (e.g., younger patients or higher male to female ratio) could conceivably affect the range and intesity of ADHD symptoms that are observed, prevalence findings, and individual as well as aggregate response to obesity treatment. In addition, generalizability of conclusions based on the data in this report are limited by a modest sample size, and uncertainty that the bariatric patients in the sample were truly representative of the general obese population. Results could be misleading, for example, if the sample had a disproportion of individuals with serious medical or psychiatric problems, higher weight or greater social skill deficits, even if the sample is construed to be typical of those seen in similar practices. Conclusion This report is explicitly exploratory, and its findings need to be replicated in larger and more systematic studies. Nonetheless, these findings are already quite interesting and could have implications for the understanding of the etiology of obesity as well as the treatment of obesity. The nature of the connections, to the extent that they exist, between attention and obesity is of course not at all clear, but the results may point to forms of attentional components and impulsivity playing a role in the onset or continuation of obesity, or that attentional mechanisms are linked in some way to metabolic and energy storage regulation. Implications for clinical practice may be of more immediate consequence. Treatment of obesity has been marginally effective at best, particularly for extreme obesity. If an attentional disorder is present, conceivably its treatment could improve obesity treatment outcome, which makes awareness of the ADHD-obesity comorbidity pragmatically important. It has been shown that reduction of body weight as small as 5% substantially reduces the morbidity and mortality risks of obesity, so even if recognizing and treating ADHD is only a modest contributor to reducing body fat mass, it is worthwhile on that grounds alone. Moreover, the impairment of ADHD is an intrinsic reason to diagnose and treat the condition, because even if comorbid obesity were not changed, normalizing brain function in ADHD sufferers more often than not provides substantial benefit and improved quality of life. The apparent association of OB+ADHD, relatively poor obesity treatment outcome and high prevalence of OB+ADHD (27.4%), especially in the extremely obese (42.6%), argue that comorbid ADHD increases the health risks of obesity, and that extreme obesity, itself a stressful condition, adds burden to the profound impairments common in ADHD. The chance that more knowledge could lead to reduction of suffering, disability and economic cost offers compelling reasons for further investigation of this subject. Inclusion of more diverse and non-clinical populations of obese and extremely obese individuals, and using research designs that better account for rater and subject biases, inter-rater reliability, and diagnostic methodology, will likely give more definitive answers to this report's questions and implications. Competing interests None declared. Authors' contributions The author (1) JRA developed and wrote this report. Background The knee is one of the most commonly injured joints. The stability of the knee is dependent on several muscles, the meniscus and four major ligaments. These knee ligaments are the medial collateral ligament (MCL), the lateral collateral ligament (LCL), the anterior cruciate ligament (ACL), and the posterior cruciate ligament (PCL). The effect of strain rate on the failure modes of the bone-ligament-bone complex has been investigated. There are three failure mechanisms [ 1 2 ] . The first is midsubstance tearing in which the fibers of the ligament pull apart in the tissue, generally during a fast loading rate. The second mode is ligament-bone interface failure in which the fibers fail at the ligament-bone insertion without fracture of the underlying bone. The final mode is tibia or femoral avulsion fractures, usually occurring during relatively slow loading rates [ 1 2 ] . Ligaments and bone have nonlinear time and history-dependent viscoelastic properties. These properties can be expressed in terms of stress-strain relationships with rate as an additional parameter. Figure 1and 2show typical stress-strain relationships of the ligament and bone respectively. For the ligament the slope of the stress-strain curve becomes nearly constant in the prefailure phase. The curve is composed of four regions; toe, linear, failure, and complete failure [ 1 2 3 4 ] . The ligament failure mode varies with different types of ligament (ACL, PCL, MCL, and LCL) due to their different viscosities [ 5 ] . Bone also has non-linear behavior and the elastic modulus is higher in bone than in ligament [ 6 ] . Stress (MPa), , is defined as the intensity of internal force over the unit cross-sectional area of the original specimen [ 1 ] . The definition of strain (% or m/m), , is the change in length of the specimen, divided by its initial length [ 1 ] . Strain with percentage units is obtained by multiplying the m/m form by 100. The strain rate represents the change in elongation with time [ 4 ] . The extension or deformation rate (m/sec) of the specimen divided by its initial length (m) gives the strain rate, as does the rate of change of the strain itself (d / dt). Its unit is %/sec (or simply sec -1). Unfortunately not all of these parameters, or overall dimensions, are always given so that reported deformation rates cannot be converted into strain rates or vice versa. In addition, strain rates data alone does not allow calculations of failure load, since neither direct force nor effective mass are typically reported. The electronic version of Medline was used to identify articles for this review. The keywords used for were strain rate, knee injury, and ligament. From the result of this search all involving strain-rate experiments of the bone-ligament-bone complex were further considered. Papers with only one bone-ligament attachment were excluded, as were those with only relative strain rates. The selected papers were further limited to those reporting quantified strain rates and the specific nature of the failures. There are many recent studies on the effect of the strain rate on the failure mode of the knee [ 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 ] . These are summarized in Table 1. The results of most studies show that at low strain rates avulsion occurs at the ligament insertion site on the bone or the bone itself may fail. At high strain rate, it is generally reported that the ligament tears [ 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 ] . However, the definitions of a fast or slow rate, and the actual rate range covered in each study, are different. In addition, the orientation of the bone-ligament-bone complex during testing may also affect the results, but details of this orientation are not typically provided. Viidik et al. studied the effects of training in a running machine on rabbits. They showed the weakest point in the tibia-ligament-femur system to be one of the bony attachments, most often the tibial one [ 7 ] . In 1974(a) Noyes et al. used rhesus monkeys to investigate the effect of strain rate changes on the failure mode. The approximate strain rates were 0.62 %/sec -1at the slow rate and 67 %/sec -1at the fast rate. Ligament tearing happened more at the fast strain rate, with bone avulsion occurring more at the slow strain rate [ 8 ] . They also analyzed the effects of activity on ligament failure using the strain rate of 66.2 %/sec [ 9 ] . This study showed 60 % ligament tearing in the control group, 44% ligament tearing and 39% bony avulsion with 8 weeks of immobilization, 45 % ligament tearing and 36% bony avulsion from an exercise group, and 65 % ligament tearing from a reconditioning group [ 9 ] . Alm et al. used a 15 mm/sec deformation rate on Beagle dogs to study the strength of the ACL. The mid part of the ligament ruptured in 93.7% of the tests [ 10 ] . Crownishield et al. tested failure characteristics of the MCL of rats at strain rates of 8.45*10 -2, 84.5, 19000, and 51000 %/sec. As the strain rate increased, ligament tearing occurred more than avulsion. These authors described the range of injury strain rates in man as from approximately 50 %/sec to 150,000 %/sec [ 11 ] . Kennedy et al. conducted ultimate failure strengths of the ACL at the strain rates of 40, and 140 %/sec. The ages of the human specimens ranged from 20 to 75 years, with a mean of 62 years. The major mode of failure was ligament tearing at both of the strain rates. [ 12 ] . In 1976 Noyes et al. evaluated the strength of the ACL in humans and rhesus monkeys to analyze age and species related changes. The age range of the human specimens was from 48 to 86 years for an older group, and from 16 to 26 years for a younger group. The rhesus monkeys were 15 years old. For the human specimens a strain rate of 100%/sec was used for both old and young specimens. A strain rate of 66 %/sec was used for the monkeys. Ligament tearing was predominant in the specimens from younger humans and from rhesus monkeys. Avulsion of bone beneath the ligament insertion site was seen for the older humans [ 13 ] . Woo et al. studied the effect of strain rate on MCL failures in skeletally immature and mature rabbits. The range of strain rate used was from 0.011 to 222 %/sec. Tibia avulsion developed in all specimens from skeletally immature rabbits with the strain rate from 0.011 to 155 %/sec. Results for this group were not reported above 155 %/sec. However, ligament tearing occurred from skeletally mature rabbits with the strain rate from 0.011 to 222 %/sec [ 14 ] . Schenck et al. investigated two "clinically applicable" stain rates, 100 and 5400 %/sec to study human ACL and PCL hyperextension. In the PCL, ligament tearing occurred at the lower stain rate, where as bone avulsion occurred at the higher strain rate. The order of these results is contrary to that of most of the other studies. In the ACL, the major failure mode at the low stain rate was similar to the PCL, with a mixed failure pattern at the higher strain rate [ 15 ] . The scope of these studies covers a very wide range of strain rates, multiple species, various ages, and in some cases direct intervention. Given this diverse set of results, a mathematical model of ligament and bony insert behavior was developed to provide an integrated understanding of the reported variations in failure mode. Methods Qualitative We present a qualitative analytical model to analyze and explain these various results. The model takes into account the individual rate sensitivity of the strength of both the ligament and the bony insertion points. This provides an integrated view of the strength and failure mode of the combined system. As the strain rate increases, the stiffness and peak failure loads of the ligament and bone both increase [ 1 3 16 ] . Fig. 3shows the relationship between the ultimate stress and strain for bone alone and ligament alone with loading rates. While the exact mechanisms of these changes are not well understood, the effect of strain rate on the stress-strain curves is produced in part by internal viscosity and energy dissipation [ 2 ] . Individually, these properties can be viewed as providing a protective mechanism under many circumstances in that they make the joint stiffer and stronger at high loading rates, at least up to their strength limits. When reported failure modes are considered for the bone-ligament-bone complex, the effect of the changing strain rate on the bone must be greater than that on the ligament. Failure mode I represents the situation in which bone avulsion occurs preferentially over ligament tearing. The ultimate failure stress of both bone and ligament ( ult, B , ult, L ) is relatively small at these strain rates compared to the strengths at higher loading rates. The strength of the ligament at these rates is generally greater than the strength of bone. Therefore, the bony avulsion failure is more common at low strain rates because the bone failure point is reached first. The use of stress as the controlling parameter is based on the assumption of a ligament of uniform area and an equal effective bone insertion area. Alternatively the discussion could be based on load rather than stress, without changing the general argument. Failure mode II is the case of bony avulsion or ligament tearing occurring at similar frequency, i.e., where the ultimate stress of bone and ligament are similar across the population. This mode occurs at higher strain rates than those of mode I. While both ligament and bone insertion strengths are larger than those in mode I at these larger stain rates, the strengths of the ligament and the insertion approach equality. Because there is not a clearly preferred type of failure in mode II, which failure occurs is likely defined more by individual variation than by fundamental biomechanics. Failure mode III occurs at higher strain rates in which ligament tearing predominates over bone avulsion. As the strain rate increases further above that of mode II, the ultimate stress of bone and ligament continue to increase, but now the strength of the bone becomes stronger than that of the ligament [ 1 2 3 ] . When the strain rate increases overwhelmingly over that of mode III, the ultimate stress of bone stays about the same as in mode III but the ultimate stress of the ligament increases over that of mode III. Failure mode I show again. Also, failure mode II represents as the strain rate increases more than that of mode I. Fig. 4represents modes I, II, III, I, and II. Quantitative We use the Kelvin model as a conceptual representation for describing the individual behavior of both the ligament and the bone as a function of loading rate. The Kelvin model is composed of a spring and dashpot element arranged in parallel (Fig. 5). The total stress in each system is where E is the respective Young's modulus or the modulus of elasticity, is the respective coefficient of viscosity, and ( t ), are the respective strains and strain rates. To model the effect of constant strain rate, is set to a constant value denoted by . From this, equation (2) can be written as Fig. 6represents that stress and strain in the ligament have a linear relationship under the conditions shown in equation (3). While this is not the usually quoted result, it must be remembered that here this is under the specific condition of constant strain rate loading. When the strain rate increases the slope of this curve also increases. These equations describe the effect of strain rate on ligament performance, although a failure point still has to be specified. Neglecting the inertia term for the ligament, a balance of forces requires that the bone stress B ( t ) be equal to the ligament stress L ( t ) for constant area. Therefore, it is possible to solve for the strain B ( t ) from equation (3) and (1). The final equation is following. While the strain L ( t ) is only the given function of time, the strain B ( t ) is a function of time and constant terms related to both bone and ligament properties. Results The failure modes were used to analyze the studies of Table 1and restate the results as shown in Table 2. In Viidik, et al the failures are predominately mode I. Even though training had some positive effect on insertion point strength, this effect was not great enough to make ult, B > ult, L and therefore avulsion remained the primary cause of failure. Noyes, et al in 1974a, and 1974b, studied the ACL failure mode of Rhesus monkeys. The first study shows mode I at slow strain rate and mode III at fast strain rate. The mixed results suggest operation in the mode II region with significant individual variability. In the second Noyes, et al's study mode III predominates. Assuming immobilization reduces strength, ult, B reduced more than ult, L , so that they approached equality. In exercise, either ult, B and ult, L is not significantly affected, or they both may increase without significant relative changes. In the latter case the analysis is limited by the lack of information actual failure loads or stresses. Even though changing their relative value, this effect is consistent with Viidik, et al. The reconditioning after immobilization suggest that reconditioning has a much greater effect on ult, L , such that ult, L comes to exceed ult, B and the failure changes to mode III. Fig. 7illustrates the changed in the ultimate stress of bone and ligament depending on the effect of activity as reported by Noyes, et al (1974b) Kennedy, et al and Noyes, et al in 1976 studied ACL failure in human specimens. Even though different strain rates were used, mode III applies to both strain rates in Kennedy. In the age range from 20 to 75 years, ult, B > ult, L . The strain rates used don't affect the relative value of ult, B and ult, L . However, we have different results in Noyes, et al's study. The older (48-86 years) and younger group (16-26 years) data fit mode I with ult, B < ult, L and III with ult, B > ult, L respectively. Assuming aging reduces strength, ult, B reduced more than ult, L . The Rhesus monkeys group had the same failure mode as the younger group. These results demonstrate that strain rate alone is not the defining parameter. Analytically this would be reflected by E, , and ult being a function of age and other conditions. In Crownishield, et al's rabbit specimens, like Noyes, et al's study, increasing the strain rate caused a shift from mode I, to II, to III. The MCL study of Woo et. al is similar to Crownishield et. al except for the range of strain rate. Mode I applies to the immature group for all strain rates and mode III to mature group for all strain rates. Maturing increases strength, presumably more so for bone than ligament, and causing ult, B > ult, L . The effect of the strain rates used in each group is not seen, probably because they are not sufficiently different. Schenck, et al reported their results as different from previous studies, but this is not clear given the variation in specimens and strain rates used. Therefore, the results of the effect of strain rate for the PCL and ACL were reverse from those of the previous studies, using strain rates intended to correlate differences between sporting and trauma [ 15 ] . However, only one other study, Crownnishield, et al using the rat MCL, used strain rates as high or higher than Schenck, et al's "fast" rate. Accepting that the rate and human results are consistent, Schenck et al's results suggest that the relative effect of stain rate on strength has a second cross over point. Fig. 8shows this relationship. Discussion The effect of the strain rate on the failure modes of the bone-ligament-bone complex is an important factor in knee joint injury. We have defined five ranges of failure as a function of strain rate and other parameters. Avulsion happens more than ligament tearing in mode I which is primarily associated with low strain rates. The number of avulsion is comparable with the number of ligament tears in mode II, where individual variation is the dominant effect. Ligament tearing occurs more than bony avulsion in mode III that is associated with high strain rates. Finally, at very high strain rates the continued attraction in bone and ligament strength again, causes the ligament to become stronger than bone. Thus, mode I and mode II can be defined based on strain rates. The integrative concept for these failure modes is that both bone and ligament strengths increase with increasing strain rates, and that these are at least two points at which these functions cross. These results have important implications with respect to further experimental studies in this area. It is critical that strain rates be carefully defined, and that comparisons with other work be made on the basis of similar values, rather than just "high" and "low". Secondly, species, age, condition and other variables compound the difficulty of drawing broad conclusions, as does the lack of detail on orientation of the bone-ligament-bone complex during testing. Background Antibody-directed enzyme prodrug therapy (ADEPT) [ 1 2 3 4 5 ] is one of the promising new approaches that selectively target tumor cells, thus reducing toxic side effects to patients. In this approach, an enzyme is conjugated to a tumor-specific antibody. The antibody selectively localizes the enzyme to the tumor cell surface. Subsequent administration of a prodrug substrate of the enzyme leads to the enzyme-catalyzed release of the free drug at the tumor site. This strategy addresses the stoichiometry, controlled drug release and poor antibody penetration problems associated with the use of monoclonal antibody-drug conjugates [ 6 7 8 ] . In addition, because the process of drug release is enzymatic, a single enzyme can generate a large amount of free drug. Consequently, a small amount of antibody can be used to reduce immunogenicity. It is important that the free drug in the ADEPT approach be highly toxic. Using highly toxic agents can reduce the amount of the monoclonal antibody required, thereby reducing side effects. CC-1065 (Figure 1) is among the most potent antitumor agents discovered [ 9 10 11 12 13 ] . It binds to double-stranded B-DNA within the minor groove with a sequence preference for 5'-d(A/GNTTA)-3' and 5'-d(AAAAA)-3', and alkylates the N3 position of the 3'-adenine with its left-hand CPI segment [ 14 15 ] . CC-1065 also inhibits gene transcription by interfering with binding of the TATA box-binding protein to its target DNA [ 16 ] . Despite its high potency and broad spectrum of antitumor activity, CC-1065 cannot be used in humans because it causes delayed death in experimental animals [ 17 ] . To pursue compounds possessing the potent antitumor activity but devoid of the toxic side effects of the parent compound, many CC-1065 analogues have been synthesized [ 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 ] . Beta-lactamases have been widely investigated for their role in the metabolism of antibiotics including cephalosporins and penicillins. Because of the high catalytic efficiency and broad substrate specificity, -lactamases have been extensively used in the ADEPT approach to activate prodrugs of vinca alkaloids [ 27 ] , nitrogen mustard [ 28 29 30 31 32 ] , doxorubicin [ 33 34 35 36 ] and others [ 37 ] . To take advantage of the potent antitumor activity of the CC-1065 class of compounds and the ADEPT approach, we have synthesized -lactam prodrugs. Herein, we report synthesis and preliminary cytotoxic effects of a prodrug comprised of a cephalosporin and a CC-1065 analogue (Figure 1). Prodrug 2 is expected to be less toxic than its corresponding free drug 1 . However, it is expected that the prodrug will be converted to the potent free drug by -lactamases localized on the tumor cell surface by an antibody (Figure 2). This selective activation of prodrug 2 at the tumor site will lead to enhanced antitumor therapeutic efficacy. Results and discussion Prodrug 2 was synthesized as shown in Figure 3. The key intermediate, 7 , was made using methods developed by Jungheim et al. [ 33 ] , and Rodrigues, et al. [ 35 36 ] with modifications. The spectra data including NMR and MS of compounds 4-7 were identical to those as reported. Compound 1 was treated with 7 in DMF to afford the protected prodrug 8 . Removal of the t-butyl protection group from 8 generated the targeted prodrug 2 with good yield. The cytotoxicity of prodrug 2 and its corresponding free drug 1 was tested against U937 leukemia cells, and the results are presented in Table 1. When the drugs were incubated with U937 cells for a period of 48-h, prodrug 2 (IC 50 : 0.9 nM) is 10-fold less toxic than its corresponding free drug 1 (IC 50 : 0.09 nM). As observed for other compounds of the CC-1065 class [ 25 37 38 ] , both prodrug 2 and the free drug 1 caused DNA fragmentation, and the cells died by apoptosis (data not shown). Conclusion This is the first report demonstrating synthesis of a prodrug comprised of a cephalosporin and a CC-1065 analogue. The preliminary in vitro studies show the prodrug to be less toxic than the free drug. Due to the slow non-enzymatic degradation of the cephalosporins in solution [ 39 ] , the ratio of toxicity of cephalosporin-containing prodrugs to their corresponding free drugs is generally not very high. However, some of the prodrugs are very effective against tumors in mouse models. For example, a cephalosporin-doxorubicin prodrug was 9-fold less toxic than free doxrubicin against tumor cells in vitro, but caused tumor regression when tested in tumor xenograft models [ 40 ] . A cephalosporin-vinca alkaloid prodrug was 5-fold less toxic than the free drug against tumor cells in vitro, but was highly effective in tumor xenograft models in vivo [ 41 ] . When taxol was conjugated to a cephalosporin, the resulting prodrug was approximately 10-fold less toxic than free taxol against tumor cells in vitro [ 36 ] . Thus, prodrug 2 has the potential to be useful in cancer treatment using the ADEPT approach. We will report more biological data in due course. Materials and methods Cephalothin sodium, 3 , (2.5 g, 5.98 mmol) was suspended in dichloromethane (150 mL). Anhydrous hydrogen chloride (4 N in dioxane, 2 mL, 8 mmol) was added, and the reaction mixture was stirred for 30 min at room temperature. tert -Butyl trichloroacetimidate (3.2 mL, 17.84 mmol) was added, and the reaction mixture was stirred overnight at room temperature. The reaction mixture was washed consecutively with water (150 mL), saturated sodium hydrogen carbonate solution (150 mL) and water (150 mL). The organic solution was dried using sodium sulfate. The solvent was removed, and the product was purified by flash column chromatography eluting with a solvent consisting of dichloromethane, ethyl acetate and hexane (1/1/3, v/v) affording 1.2 g of 4 (44% yield). Compound 4 (1 g, 2.21 mmol) was dissolved in methanol (70 mL), and solid potassium carbonate (120 mg) was added. The mixture was stirred for 2 h at room temperature, and acetic acid (200 L) was added to quench the reaction. The solvent was removed, and the product was purified by flash column chromatography eluting with 8% acetone in dichloromethane to afford 220 mg of 5 (24% yield). Compound 5 (280 mg, 0.68 mmol) was dissolved in anhydrous THF (40 mL), and dimethylaminopyridine (1 mg), p-nitrophenylchloroformate (0.2 g, 1 mmol) and 2, 6-lutidine (120 L), 1 mmol) were added sequentially. The reaction mixture was stirred overnight at room temperature. The solvent was removed, and the product was purified by flash column chromatography eluting with 5% ethyl acetate in dichloromethane to afford 271 mg of 6 (69% yield). To a solution of 6 (50 mg, 87 mol) in dichloromethane (2 mL) cooled to 0C was added m- chloroperoxybenzoic acid (CPBA, 26 mg, 93 mol) in 0.5 mL of dichloromethane. The reaction mixture was stirred for 15 min at 0C, and was then washed with 5% potassium hydrogen carbonate solution followed by brine. The solvent was removed, and the product was purified by flash column chromatography eluting with 8% ethyl acetate in dichloromethane to afford 34 mg of 7 (66% yield). Compound 7 (15 mg, 25 mol) was added to a solution of 1 (9 mg, 23 mol) in DMF (0.3 mL), which was synthesized as we reported previously [ 20 ] , and the reaction mixture was stirred overnight at room temperature. The product was purified by thin layer chromatography eluting with ethyl acetate and hexane (3/1, v/v) to afford 12 mg of 8 (62% yield). 1H NMR (DMF-d 7 , ppm): 10.70 (s, 1 H), 9.15 (s, 1 H), 8.63 (s, 1 H), 8.25-7.85 (m, 4 H), 7.60-7.19 (m, 7 H), 7.05-6.95 (m, 2 H), 6.05-6.01 (m, 1 H), 5.39-5.30 (d, 1 H), 5.12-4.79 (m, 5 H), 4.35-4.27 (m, 1 H), 4.19-3.75 (m, 6 H), 1.58 (s, 9 H). FAB MS m/e 866.0 (M + Na) +. To a solution of 8 (5 mg, 5.9 mol) in DMF (0.2 mL) and dichloromethane (1 mL) was added trifluroacetic acid (1 mL), and the solution was stirred for 2 h at room temperature. The solvent was removed, and ethyl ether was added. The solid was filtered, and washed with ether to afford prodrug 2 (3.7 mg, 79% yield). 1H NMR (DMF-d 7 , ppm): 11.56 (s, 1 H), 10.50 (s, 1 H), 9.65 (s, 1 H), 8.25-7.85 (m, 4 H), 7.60-7.24 (m, 7 H), 7.10-6.96 (m, 2 H), 6.10-6.01 (m, 1 H), 5.42-5.38 (d, 1 H), 5.10-4.60 (m, 5 H), 4.35-4.25 (m, 1 H), 4.20-3.75 (m, 6 H). FAB MS m/e 787.1. Background Proteorhodopsin is a 249-amino acid membrane protein native to several uncultured species of -proteobacteria, which are a component of marine plankton [ 1 ] . Addition of retinal to E. coli expressing pR was shown to cause a reddish coloration of the bacteria with an absorption maximum near 520 nm. The pR contained in the bacterial membranes was shown to act as a light-activated proton pump, but only when retinal is present. Time-resolved UV/vis studies at pH 8 also revealed that the protein undergoes a photocycle, similar to that of wild type bacteriorhodopsin, but with a predominance of the O intermediate instead of M. The bR photocycle has been characterized by spectroscopic methods as having six principal photointermediates: bR, K, L, M, N and O. Each intermediate has a distinct absorbance maximum; the most studied are bR (570 nm), M (412 nm), and O (640 nm) since these are the ones that can be produced in the highest concentration at physiological pH values. Monitoring of the absorbance at individual wavelengths after photoexcitation is used to determine the relative concentrations and decay times of each of these photointermediates. The L M transition in bR is characterized by the deprotonation of the Schiff base to Asp-85, producing the distinctive 412 nm absorbance maximum of M, and by so-called fast proton release, the ejection of a proton from a different (unknown) residue into the external medium on the ~10-100 s time scale, depending on pH. Reprotonation of the Schiff base from Asp-96 occurs during the M N transition with an absorbance maximum of 560 nm [ 2 ] . The N O transition involves the reprotonation of the Asp-96 from the cytoplasmic space. Like bR, pR consists of seven transmembrane -helices that include in the membrane interior all of the residues conserved among archaeal rhodopsin proton pumps. In particular, analogues of Asp-85, Asp96, Arg-82, and Lys-216 of bR are present in pR. Conspicuously absent are analogues for Glu-194 and Glu-204 of bR. The latter, as well as Arg-82, have been implicated in fast proton release. In particular, mutagenesis of Glu-194 or Glu-204 in bR results in loss of fast proton release [ 3 4 ] . The absence of homologs for these residues in pR leaves open the question of whether it carries out fast H +release. Experiments described here demonstrate that pR does indeed undergo fast H +release, at least under elevated pH conditions that resemble somewhat those of the -proteobacteria's native open ocean environment. We also demonstrate that there is a post-translational modification of at least one of the three native cysteines when pR is expressed in E. coli. Both of these discoveries were made possible through purification methods for pR described herein. Results Purification PR was obtained in 85% purity, assuming that values of 280 and 546 for pR are the same as for bR solubilized in DMPC/cholate/SDS mixtures at pH 8 ( 280 = 7.85 10 4cm -1M -1and 551 = 4.8 10 4cm -1M -1) [ 5 ] . This assumption is actually expected to underestimate the purity of pR produced, by up to ~20%, since the pR we expressed has 10 tryptophan and 14 tyrosine residues, as compared to 8 tryptophans and 11 tyrosines in bR from H. salinarum. The absorbance of contaminant proteins was assumed to be 1.1 for a 1 mg/mL solution. By using these assumptions, the relative concentrations of pR and other proteins can be determined from the absorbance spectra of the various fractions (fig. 1). The resulting purity values correlate well with those Coomasie-stained SDS-PAGE gels (see below). The OG extract of cholate-washed membrane pellets starts out at a pR content of 7% total protein (w/w). The Phenylsepharose column increases the purity level to 24%, with approximately 5% loss. The final purification step by hydroxylapatite column chromatography produces pR with ~85% purity and a further loss of ~60%, i.e. the overall yield of the two column procedure was ~30%. Polyacrylamide gel electrophoresis Relative to protein standards, the apparent molecular weight of bR is 25,000 while the apparent molecular weights of pR-wt and pR-TCM are 36,000 and 31,000, respectively (fig. 2, lanes E and C, respectively). SDS-PAGE (fig. 2) also confirms the estimates of purity level based on the assumed 280 / 546 ratio identical with that of detergent solubilized bR. Interestingly, the pR appears to be a doublet band whose relative concentrations remain almost unchanged during purification. This doublet is also present in the less-purified sample of pR-TCM, with both bands shifted down by approximately the same amount (fig. 2, lane C). Subsequent SDS-PAGE analysis of pR samples that had been stored for periods of time up to several months indicate that after sitting for several weeks in octylglucoside solution at 4C, the largest post-translational modification on wild-type pR is eliminated - presumably hydrolysed off of the cysteine(s) - leaving only a 31,000-MW band indistinguishable from that seen for pR-TCM (data not shown). Furthermore, after boiling for several min in gel loading solution, this cleaved wild-type protein, as well as the TCM, both give an extra artifactual band near 36,000 dalton. The latter band, a singlet, is coincidentally at almost the same apparent MW as the doublet from the uncleaved post-translationally-modified wild type pR (fig. 2, lane E). These potential artifacts should be taken into consideration in any attempt to reproduce the results in Fig. 2. Photocycle kinetics and flash-induced proton concentration changes Photocycle kinetics were measured at 400, 500. and 580 nm in the presence of the short-chain lipid DHPC. This lipid does not support the formation of closed bilayer vesicles, but rather forms micelles like a detergent. The time-resolved measurements showed no positive 400-nm absorbance signals at pH 8.0 or lower (Fig. 3). This is somewhat in disagreement with Bj et al [ 1 ] , who detected small 400-nm transient absorbance increases upon photolysis at pH 8.0. However, we observed a transient 400-nm absorbance increase at an elevated pH of 9.5 (fig. 3). At pH 9.5 in the presence of DHPC, and observing transient changes at 500 nm (fig. 4), pR undergoes a 2-phase decay after the initial unresolved absorbance decrease. Multiexponential fits show that the first decay phase has a time constant of 4 s, in good agreement with the 4-s rise time of the 400 nm signal (Fig. 4). The amplitude of this decay represents about 80% of the initial absorbance depletion. The second phase of the 500 nm absorbance decay occurs with a substantially slower time constant of 0.5 s, returning the remaining 20% of initial absorbance change. The slowest decay components of the positive 400-nm signal and the negative 500-nm signal follow similar kinetics, although the amplitudes of these components differ by a factor of 3. At pH 9.5, the 580 nm trace has no significant positive values indicative of an O-like intermediate, although, in agreement with earlier measurements [ 1 ] , at lower pH values a red-shifted transient is the predominant positive absorbance signal (data not shown). Figure 5shows a different type of time-resolved measurement, probing not the pR chromophore, but rather pH changes in the protein environment. Proton concentration changes in the aqueous bulk phase were measured with the pH sensitive dye cresol red, which has a pK a of 8.2-8.5. The bottom trace in Figure 5shows the absorbance change of the indicator during the pR photocycle. The negative signal is indicative of a pH decrease, corresponding to transient H +release from the protein into the solution. The best-fit time constant for the release phase is 6 s. The positive 400 nm trace in fig. 5(reproduced from fig. 3) shows that the proton release and uptake follow kinetics very similar to the apparent formation and decay of M, as is typically seen in bR near neutral pH [ 6 7 21 ] . However, no proton release signal could be observed for pR at pH 6 or 8 (data not shown). Discussion Purification of pR Meaningful comparison of intrinsic physiological properties of pR and bR depends on the purification of pR. The E. coli expression system can easily be used to prepare pR at 85% purity with similar or less effort and time than required for bR (purple membrane) production from S9 H. salinarum. The initial purity level of the OG-solubilized cholate-extracted membrane is about 7% pR by weight. Phenylsepharose column chromatography separates proteins on the basis of hydrophobicity, and has been used previously in hR purification [ 8 9 10 ] . As an initial purification step, the Phenylsepharose column achieved a substantial increase in protein purity to 25%, along with removal of most of the lipid. The final purification step, utilizing a hydroxylapatite column, has been previously used with rhodopsin [ 11 ] . This column proved to be more efficient as a final step in the purification than as a preliminary one, because large amounts of contaminant protein tended to slow the flow rate drastically. This step of the purification yielded an increase in protein purity to >85%. The overall yield of pR from membrane through the column purifications is ~30%. Most of this loss, ~65%, occurs during the hydroxylapatite column. Molecular weight differences Bj et al. reported a molecular weight for wild type pR of 27 kDa based on the predicted amino acid sequence of the protein [ 1 ] . Its 249 amino acids barely exceed the 248 of mature bR, which has a molecular weight of 26,000. However, we observed a significantly higher apparent molecular weight (~36,000) for wild type pR on SDS-PAGE gels (Fig. 2, lanes D and E). Post-translational modification of pR must almost certainly account for some of the observed molecular weight difference between pR and bR. Lipids or sugars covalently bound to the protein surface would not be removed during the purification procedure and could cause a higher apparent molecular weight. Cysteines are frequently a site of lipid association with membrane proteins, (e.g. mammalian rhodopsin, which has two palmitoyl molecules attached to cysteine residues). Therefore we compared the SDS-PAGE gel mobility of wild-type pR to that of a cys-less mutant (pR-TCM). The elimination of the three possible sulfhydryl attachment sites lowers the apparent molecular weight of the pR-TCM by 5,000 (Fig. 2, lane C). From this, we conclude that at least one of the three cysteines in pR is probably modified post-translationally. However, this by itself does not account fully for the anomalous mobility of pR on SDS-PAGE gels, because pR-TCM is still approximately 5,000 higher in molecular weight than bR according to SDS-PAGE (fig. 2, lanes A & C). Only ~2,600 of this can be accounted for by the V5 eiptope and poly-histidine tail that are appended to the C-terminus of pR by the pBAD-TOPO expression vector that we used [ 1 ] . There is undoubtedly a further post-translational modification of unknown nature. Spectral comparisons Bj et al. reported an absorbance maximum for pR of 520 nm in E. coli membranes, using a difference bleaching technique to remove interfering absorbance bands from other membrane components in the impure pR sample [ 1 ] . We confirmed this result using crude E. coli membranes without detergent present (data not shown). However, we observed an absorbance maximum of 546 5 nm for pR in OG at pH 7 at all stages of purification (Fig. 1). Small blue shifts were observed for pR samples in OG when measured at pH 8 and 9.5 (8 and 16 nm, respectively; data not shown). For the pR samples reconstituted in DHPC, which were used for flash photolysis experiments, the absorbance maxima were similar to those measured in OG (spectra not shown). A chromophore absorption maximum near 540 nm was also obtained by using difference spectroscopy of pR in crude E. coli membranes solubilized in OG (spectrum not shown). However, for pR measured directly in crude E. coli membranes, i.e. not solubilized in OG, we obtained the same value (520 nm) as reported previously [ 1 ] . Solubilization in detergent presumably leads to structural distortions of the native protein conformation, and therefore a change in the absorbance properties of the chromophore. However, the direction that max for pR would have to shift upon solubilization in OG is inconsistent with the pattern for bR, whose max decreases when it is solubilized in OG [ 12 ] . Furthermore, pR in OG showed resonance Raman spectra (D. Dunmire, R. A. Krebs and M. S. Braiman, unpublished data) indicative of a chromophore structure very close to native light-adapted (i.e. all-trans) bR in purple membrane. However, there is one major difference: pR in OG exhibits an upshifted, doublet C=N Schiff base band consisting of two components of nearly-equal intensity. These appear to correspond to the presence of two distinct subpopulations of pR, at least when expressed in E. coli and solubilized in OG micelles. The different values of max for pR in membrane state [ 1 ] and OG solution might be related to the presence of these multiple subpopulations, but this connection remains unclear. Principal photointermediates of pR Of the six principal photointermediates present in bR, four can be discerned from the time-dependent visible absorbance traces from pR in fig. 4, along with previously published time traces at 600 nm [ 1 ] : the resting state (pR), M, N and O. The resting state, with an absorbance maximum of 546 nm (see above), provides the baseline spectrum for the difference time courses reported. The M intermediate of bR has an unprotonated Schiff base group, giving rise to a blue-shifted max (400 nm). Likewise in pR, an increase in the 400 nm absorbance should indicate formation of a deprotonated Schiff base, and therefore the presence of an M-like intermediate. Interpretation of the 500 nm time course trace is more complicated. As in bR, it likely involves decay of M to N, as well as from N back to bR. The absorbance maximum of the N intermediate in bR is 560 nm, corresponding to a protonated Schiff base. This is not very different from max for the resting state of pR (546 nm). The likely spectral overlap between pR and its own postulated N photoproduct complicates the determination of amounts of each that are present. The slow (~500 ms) decay observed in both the 400 nm and 500 nm time courses indicates an equilibrium between the M and N intermediates that remains until pR returns to its initial resting state. Bj et al. reported a strong positive 580-nm transient absorbance increase in suspensions of membranes prepared from E. coli expressing pR [ 1 ] . This positive absorbance difference is indicative of O intermediate formation. We looked for its presence in partially-purified samples reconstituted in DHPC in the pH range 6-11. (Data are shown only at pH 9.5; see Fig. 4). Our observations at pH 9.5 do not show any evidence of O intermediate formation (Fig. 4). Only at lower pH values was a clear positive 580-nm absorption change observed (data not shown). This is in agreement with results on bR, for which O formation is also enhanced at lower pH values, and becomes small or nearly unobservable in the alkaline range. Dependence of the M intermediate on pH Deprotonation of the Schiff base linkage of the retinal and Lys-216 is dependent on its pK a which changes between photointermediate states. The Schiff base readily undergoes deprotonation in the M intermediate. However, no M intermediate formation occurs below a pH of ~9 (figure 3); instead the O intermediate predominates [ 1 ] . Predominance of O at lower pH values is also observed in bR. However, in bR the M intermediate is detectable at low and high pHs, but has a longer lifetime at higher pH due to a long-lived equilibrium between M and another intermediate, N [ 13 ] . It seems likely that an N intermediate of pR is similarly in equilibrium with its M intermediate, based on the fact that the transient positive (400 nm) absorbance increase is smaller than the negative 500 nm bleach, and the time course at 500 nm shows a partial return to baseline on a timescale of ~50 s. The difference in pH dependence between the pR and bR photocycles can likely be attributed to differences in the microenvironment of the Schiff base, and is perhaps related to absence of Glu194/204 in pR. These adaptive differences presumably optimize the proteins to operate at maximum efficiency in the niches that their respective organisms occupy. In the case of the -proteobacteria, which in the open ocean (pH 7.8-8.0) occupy a signficantly more alkaline environment than halobacteria, perhaps the proton-release group is simply not under any evolutionary pressure to be capable of deprotonating in the M state at neutral pH. In this view, the principal role of E194 and E204 in bR may to modulate the pK a of the H +-release group in the M state to a value lower than the pH of the organism's external environment. Fast proton release in pR Under the same conditions where M is observed (pH 9.5 and in 1% DHPC), pR undergoes fast proton release during its photocycle (Fig. 5). The pH indicator dye Cresol Red was used to detect pH changes in the bulk aqueous phase. These turn out to be similar to those observed for bR in the pH range 5.5-10. After photoexcitation, pR (like bR, presumably) ejects a H +from a residue near its extracellular surface decreasing the pH of the solution. When the N O transition takes place in bR, H +is taken up from the medium, raising the pH once again. The H +signals from pR measured with Cresol Red occur on a time scale similar to that assignable to M and N decay, returning to baseline about 1 s after photolysis. There is a clear kinetic correlation between M (and/or N) intermediate formation and fast H +release in pR. The linkage between these two phenomena is further supported by the observation that neither a transient 400-nm absorbance increase, nor fast H +release, is shown to occur at pH 8.0 and below. Nor is either observed in the absence of a reconstituting lipid (DHPC in these experiments). In bR, the ejected proton is thought to originate from a triad of amino acids, R82-E194-E204. However, in pR a homolog of only one of these three residues (the arginine) is present. This raises doubts about previous conclusions regarding the specific roles of these 3 residues in fast H +proton release, in both pR and bR. In particular, the apparently obligatory roles of E204 and E194 in fast H +release in bR are not matched in pR. Therefore, even in bR it is less likely that these groups themselves change protonation state between bR and M to provide the H +released to the bulk medium. Instead, it now seems more likely that E204 and E194 merely help to lower the pK a of the H +release group from above 8, the apparent value for pR, into the vicinity of 6 for bR. It also seems very unlikely that the specific structural configuration of 2 carboxylic acid groups and arginine in bR could be conserved in pR, even if, as suggested previously [ 1 ] , other surface carboxylic acids in pR could substitute in some ways for the roles of E194 and E204 in bR. The only way that the H +release mechanism can be strongly conserved between bR and pR is if arginine itself serves as the principal donor group for fast H +release in both, with nearby residues (such as E194 and E204) merely modulating the pK a of the arginine in the M intermediate. However, it remains unclear how the pK a of Arg-82 in bR could be made sufficiently low in its M intermediate to serve as the H +release group at pH values down to 6.0. Alternatively, it is possible that the fast H +release we observe from pR at pH 9.5 may differ from that in bR. One possibility is that in pR, the released proton could come directly from the chromophore counterion, Asp-97. This would be consistent with a proposed mechanism for fast H +release that has been observed above pH 10 in the bR mutant E194Q [ 14 ] . In this mutant, Asp-85 was detected by low-temperature infrared difference spectroscopy to be deprotonated only in the N intermediate, and not in M [ 15 ] . It is not clear yet whether Asp-85 deprotonation in an N-like state could account for the proton-release kinetics of pR (Fig. 5), or whether the M intermediate itself might have a partially-deprotonated Asp-85. The reason for the requirement of DHPC in M intermediate formation and fast proton release is unclear. Delipidated bR in octylglucoside is fully capable of M formation and presumably proton release, although with altered kinetics [ 12 16 ] . The requirement for pR to be in lipid to show fast H +release and M formation stems either from a protein/lipid interaction needed to establish a stable, active tertiary structure, or from the need for the phosphate group in DHPC to act as a proton release group. The latter seems unlikely due to the DHPC molecule being zwitterionic at pH 9.5, with no proton on the trimethyl-modified nitrogen of the choline. Hence, the DHPC most likely interacts with the protein to effect minor structural changes needed to place the active site residues in their functional configuration. Conclusions A comparison of the primary sequences of pR and bR at first glance seems as to preclude fast H +release as part of the proton-pumping mechanism of pR due to the absence of residues analogous to Glu194 and Glu 204 of bR. However, fast H +release is indeed observed in pR under conditions where an M intermediate is formed. Glu194 and Glu 204 in bR play a role in fast H +release that is apparently not required for the mechanism of the bR family of proton transporters. It is therefore necessary to conclude that either the H +-release groups in pR and bR are non-homologous surface carboxylic acid residues (as suggested previously [ 1 ] ), or else that a conserved non-carboxylic acid residue, i.e. Arg82/94 or Asp85/97, is the H +-release group in pR. The higher pH requirement for the M intermediate of pR presumably corresponds with adaptation to the more alkaline oceanic environment in which the -proteobacteria are found. The necessity of reconstituting pR with some lipid before it is capable of photocycling shows that the presence of lipids facilitates pR in assuming its fully active structure. E.-coli -expressed pR has post-translational modifications, including ~4000 daltons of substituents at one or more of its three cysteines. Such post-translational modifications might also play a role in explaining the different physiological properties of pR and bR. Materials & methods Protein expression and detergent extraction Proteorhodopsin was expressed by E. coli strain UT5600 containing an additional plasmid encoding for the first-reported pR gene (accession #AF279106, obtained from the uncultured proteobacterium EBAC31A08 clone BAC [ 1 ] ) with an Ara promoter and ampicillin resistance (kindly provided by O. Bj). Single colonies were selected and grown overnight in LB/amp media (200 ml, 37C, 300 rpm). This culture was then diluted 10 into several 500-ml cultures. After a further 2 h incubation in the shaker bath, a stock solution of 20% L-arabinose was added, to give a final concentration of 0.2% L-arabinose. This culture was then incubated for 4 h (37C, 300 rpm). The cells (~20 ml wet volume) were then collected by centrifugation (6000 rpm 30 min) and washed 3 with 100 mM HEPES, pH 7.1 (buffer A). The cells were then resuspended in buffer A and incubated at 4C with 50 g all-trans-retinal (added as a concentrated ethanol solution) for 3 h. The cells were collected by centrifugation (6000 rpm 30 min), then resuspended in 60 mL buffer A containing 0.3 mg/mL lysozyme, and stirred for 4 h at room temperature. The cells were again collected by centrifugation (6000 rpm 30 min), then lysed with 20 ml of 20% sodium cholate, pH 7.1 (30 min., 4C). The cells were centrifuged again (6000 rpm 30 min), and the supernatants collected. After extracting 3 more with the same cholate solution, the pooled supernatants were diluted 10 with buffer A and centrifuged at 180,000 g for 45 min to collect the membrane pellet. This cholate-washed membrane pellet was then further extracted 3 with 3.0% -octyl-D-glucoside (OG) in buffer A (30 min, with stirring, 4C). The pooled supernatants, containing OG-solubilized pR (~15 mg), were then diluted 6 with buffer A. Column purification The diluted OG-solubilized membrane extract (10 mg in 300 mL total volume of 0.5% OG) was loaded on a 25 1 cm column containing Phenylsepharose (6 fast flow high sub; Amersham Pharmacia Biotech). The column was eluted with a 0.5%-2.0% OG gradient in buffer A (300 mL total volume, 0.5 mL flow rate). The pR eluted at an OG concentration of 1.5-2.0%. Fractions having an A 280 /A 546 ratio of 4.0 or lower were pooled (9.5 mg pR recovered in all) and concentrated using Vivaspin 20 concentrators having a 5000 MW cutoff (Vivascience, Westford, MA). A portion of the Phenylsepharose-purified pR (1.5 mg) was diluted to an OG concentration of 0.5% with 0.5 M KCl, 100 mM acetate. It was then loaded on a 10 cm 1 cm hydroxylapatite (BioGel HTP, BioRad) column and eluted under pressure with a 0-600 mM phosphate gradient (200 mL total volume, flow rate 0.5 ml/min). Fractions with an A 280 /A 546 ratio of 2.5 or lower were pooled and concentrated for subsequent experiments (0.5 mg). Mutagenesis Methodology for the site-directed mutagenesis of pR is discussed in detail elsewhere (R. Parthasarathy, T. Caterino, R.A. Krebs, M.S. Braiman, manuscript in preparation). The triple cysteine mutant (pR-TCM) has all three of its native cysteines (Cys-107, Cys-156, and Cys-175) replaced with serines, and was prepared using the same E. coli expression system and purification methods as the wild type. Polyacrylamide gel electrophoresis A 12% discontinuous SDS/polyacrylamide gel was used for molecular weight and purity analysis [ 17 ] . Flash photolysis Time-resolved UV/vis spectroscopy methods were as described previously [ 18 ] . A Phenylsepharose-purified pR sample was reconstituted into mixed micelles containing 1,2-diheptanoyl-SN-glycero-3-phosphocholine (DHPC), by adding a 1% solution of the short-chain lipid and then removing most of the detergent on a Sephadex G-25 column equilibrated with 1% DHPC in 100 mM NaCl. Proton release and uptake in the aqueous bulk medium were detected from the pR-containing micelles suspended in 1% DHPC, 100 mM NaCl, with 45 M Cresol Red pH indicator dye. Flash-induced absorbance changes at 580 nm of samples with and without the Cresol Red were subtracted to determine the transient signals due to proton concentration changes. Photoexcitations were performed with 10-ns laser pulses of 3-6 mJ at 500 nm. The time courses in Figs. 3, 4are an average of 40 cycles with the exception of the Cresol Red experiments averaging 100 cycles (Fig. 5, bottom trace) [ 19 20 21 ] . Abbreviations pR, proteorhodopsin; bR, bacteriorhodopsin; OG, -octyl-D-glucoside; SDS, sodium dodecylsulfate; PAGE, polyacrylamide gel electrophoresis; pR-TCM, pR triple cysteine mutant [C(107,156,175)S]; DHPC, 1,2-diheptanoyl-SN-glycero-3-phosphocholine; DMPC, dimyristoylphosphatidylcholine; HEPES, N-2-hydroxyethylpiperazine-N'-2-ethanesulfonic acid Background Over the last 50 years, the widespread usage of fluoridated water and fluoridated dentrifices have been cited as major reasons for a decline in caries since the early 1970s [ 1 ] , and for the appearance of a significant association between oral hygiene and caries experience [ 2 3 4 ] . An inverse relationship exists between salivary fluoride concentration and caries experience in the deciduous and permanent dentition [ 5 ] , but fluoride concentration is excluded from most caries prediction models [ 6 7 ] . Acids in bacterial plaques cause caries in pits, fissures and interdental regions of teeth, but they also enhance the inhibitory effect of fluoride on demineralization, confounding the ability to predict caries from the salivary fluoride concentration [ 8 9 ] . The greater the consumption of dietary sucrose, the greater the fall in pH and fraction of acidogenic, acid tolerant bacteria in tooth adherent plaques [ 10 11 ] . The number of these bacteria (mostly mutans streptococci and lactobacilli), and the fluoride content, discriminate between severe and mild caries in 12-15 year-old children [ 12 13 ] . Acid-tolerant bacteria require D-alanyl glycerol lipoteichoic acid (D-alanyl LTA) in their membranes and cell surfaces [ 14 ] . D-alanyl LTA is made by esterifying carboxyl-activated D-alanine to glycerol in membrane LTA by means of a D-alanyl-carrier enzyme, DCP [ 15 ] . Strains of Streptococcus mutans in which DCP is inactive do not initiate growth at below pH 6.5 and make glycerol LTA without D-alanine [ 14 ] . In the DCP active strains, soluble D-Alanyl LTA is extruded into culture fluid in vitro [ 16 17 ] or plaque in vivo [ 18 ] . The D-alanyl esters are stable at pH 6.0 at 37C, but hydrolyze to free D-alanine and LTA with a half-life of 3.9 h at pH 8.0 [ 19 ] . Healthy gingival sulci have a pH of 6.5 - 7.5 and inflamed sulci a pH of 7.5-8.5 [ 20 ] . About 30% of young adults have serum IgG antibodies that precipitate with D-alanyl LTA, but not with D-alanine-free LTA [ 17 21 ] . It is likely that plaques induce these IgG antibodies from gingival sulci that contain more acid-tolerant bacteria. An elevated IgG antibody response to D-alanyl LTA may therefore indicate the subjects in whom an inhibitory effect of fluoride on caries is enhanced. The fluoride concentrations of plaque and saliva are related to whether the drinking water is fluoridated [ 13 ] and to oral hygiene, which nearly always involves using a fluoridated dentrifice. The aim of this study was therefore to determine whether elevated antibody responders to D-alanyl LTA show a association of DMFT with fluoride exposure and gingival health not apparent in low responders. Methods Subjects Antibody was obtained from blood from four sources: 1) 105 dental students, 2) 147 patients seeking dental treatment, 3) 145 volunteer blood donors (volunteers), and 4) 37 siblings aged 5 through 25 from six Amish families. The dental students and patients were attending the University of Oklahoma Health Sciences Center between 1985 and 1988. The volunteers and Amish family members were attending centers elsewhere in the US at the same time. All subjects consented to provide blood for antibody analysis according to local Institutional Review Board procedures (see Acknowledgements). The student, patient and volunteer populations (397 subjects) were used to determine what IgG concentration constituted an elevated antibody response to D-alanyl LTA, to ensure that these antibodies were not unique to dental or Oklahoma populations and to examine whether the antibody concentration was sex or age-associated. The Amish family siblings were selected to determine the frequency of high antibody concentration in children and young adults. Each sibling had at least one parent high responder to increase the likelihood of exposure to an antibody-associated oral microbiota from birth. The clinical study participants consisted of 87 dental students (88.4% male) and 64 patients (31.3% male) who were medically healthy. All had 18 or more natural teeth and were aged >22 and <38 years. Of these participants, 67 dental students and 35 patients provided information that permitted an estimate of exposure to fluoridated water: residence(s) from birth through age 14 in the 1980 Fluoridation Census. Subjects not using the public water supply, or resident outside of the US for more than 18 months, were excluded. Exposure to water fluoridation scored 1 for each of five 3-year age cohorts: 0-2, 3-5, 6-8, 9-11 and 12-14 to give a fluoride exposure score (F Score) of 0 (no exposure) to 5 (complete exposure) described previously [ 22 ] . Most dental students had mild caries and gingivitis and most patients had moderate to severe caries and gingivitis. Exceptionally healthy or exceptionally diseased subjects were therefore increased compared to a similar number of subjects obtained as a random sample. This wide distribution of clinical measurements provided more stable estimates (narrower confidence intervals) of regression coefficients () than would be obtained from a similar number from a random survey of the general population. Regression lines are more robust when a greater range of measurements is used [ 23 ] . Clinical measurements Dental caries experience was the number of Decayed, Missing and Filled Teeth (DMFT), excluding third molars and teeth reported missing for other reasons. Decayed teeth (DT) were also enumerated separately from missing and filled teeth (MFT). DT indicates a combination of delay in seeking therapy and faster development of new cavities. Fluoridated dentrifice use is related to oral hygiene but not toothbrushing frequency in adults aged as in the present clinical study [ 3 ] and young enough to have likely used fluoridated dentrifices from early childhood. Sensitive staining for plaque accumulation [ 24 ] was therefore used with measures of gingivitis and pocket depth at the mesio-buccal, buccal, disto-lingual and lingual surfaces of the six teeth employed for the simplified oral hygiene index [ 25 ] , substituting adjacent teeth as necessary (24 sites sampled). Gingivitis was determined by whether a site bled within 30 sec of gentle probing, BOP [ 26 27 ] and pocket depth by measuring the distance (mm) from the free gingival margin to the base of the sulcus or pocket. Finally, each subject was asked to suck an erythrosin tablet for 30 sec and the sites examined for stained plaque [ 24 ] . For each subject, the mean prevalences of plaque (PL) and bleeding on probing (BOP), and the mean pocket depth (PD), were calculated across all sampled sites. The clinical measurements were made by two experienced clinicians who were calibrated for this study. The clinicians agreed strongly with respect to all measurements (correlation coefficients, r > 0.85; p < 0.001) except gingival bleeding index, for which a weaker correlation was noted (r = 0.60, p < 0.001). The data reported are the mean measurements from the clinical examiners. Antigen purification D-alanyl LTA, but not D-alanine-free LTA, is present in culture filtrates of Streptococcus mutans GS5 [ 17 ] . Bacteria were grown at 37C in trypticase soy broth to late stationary phase (96 h), when the maximal amount of antigen is extruded into the culture fluid [ 18 ] . After centrifugation to remove the bacteria, culture fluid (10 1) was concentrated 20-fold over a YM10 Diaflo Membrane filter (Amicon Corp., Beverley, MA). D-Alanyl LTA in the concentrate was detected by immunoelectrophoresis, using a standard human serum identified previously [ 16 ] . D-Alanine-free LTA does not react with this serum IgG [ 17 18 21 ] . The D-alanyl LTA was purified by passing the concentrated culture fluid over a 90 2.5 cm Sephacryl column in 0.4 M NaCl buffered with 0.05 M sodium acetate pH 5. Antigen in the fractions was collected. After equilibrating with 5 mM sodium acetate buffer pH 5.0, it bound to a short Sephacryl S-200 and eluted by adding 14 mM NaCl as described previously [ 16 ] . Measuring antibody content and determining high and low responders IgG antibody content was measured by enzyme-immunoassay employing a Fast Assay Screening Test System at room temperature [ 28 ] . Pegs protruding from a lid were placed over a 96-well plate or trough containing 14 ml of 10 g/ml D-alanyl LTA in acetate buffer pH 5 for 2 h (Becton Dickinson, Lincoln Park, NJ). The pegs were blocked with 14 ml of phosphate buffered saline (PBS) pH 7.0 in 1.0% Tween-20 and immersed in wells containing 0.1 ml serum. After overnight incubation, excess IgG antibody from the serum was washed away by thrice transferring the pegs to troughs containing 14 ml of PBS containing 0.05 % Tween 20 (PBS-Tween) for 5 min each time. The pegs were then immersed for 2 h in a trough containing 14 ml of anti-human IgG F(ab'2) fragment conjugated to alkaline phosphatase in PBS-Tween and developed with nitrophenyl phosphate (Sigma Chemical Co. St Louis, MO). The concentration of antigen-specific IgG in standard serum was obtained by measuring the optimal amount of protein immunoprecipitated [ 16 ] , and a standard curve of absorbance against concentration was obtained (Fig. 1). The greatest range of absorbance occurred when sera were measured at a dilution of 1:200 [ 28 ] . Replicate antibody assays were performed on each serum and the concentrations read off the standard curve. The antibody concentrations are shown ranked in Fig. 2. Data analyses The amount of IgG antibody to D-alanyl LTA varies with no obvious cutoff (Fig. 2). However, the sera containing precipitating antibody should tend to have high IgG antibody contents. The IgG antibody measurements were alternatively divided into clusters, using the unweighted pair group method with arithmetic averages [ 29 ] and NT-SYS, a package of multivariate statistical computer programs [ 30 ] . A low response supremum was obtained by taking the antilog of the mean IgG content of the non-precipitating sera plus one standard deviation, or the antilog of the highest IgG content of the cluster grouping containing the least antibody. The effect of age was determined after splitting the subjects into decile cohorts (Table 1) and comparing the fraction of high antibody responders in each cohort. The youngest cohort was composed of Amish family siblings who were younger than any dental students, patients or volunteers. A multiple linear regression procedure was utilized to examine the relationship of caries (DMFT) with age, F score, and measures of gingival health obtained in this study: PL, BOP, and PD. The regression on DMFT was used: 1) to estimate the partial regression coefficients ( coefficients) within the high and low antibody response group; 2) to test each coefficient for significance after accounting for the effects of the other four variables; and 3) to examine for significant differences in coefficients between the antibody response groups. A coefficient is interpreted as the change in disease response (DMFT) per unit change in one of the independent variables after adjusting for all the other independent variables in the model. Within each antibody response group, the multiple regression coefficient (R 2) provided an estimate of the proportion of variance in DMFT explained by the combination of variables tested. Stepwise regression then identified the best estimate of the variance in DMFT that was explained by multiple variables in the separate and combined high and low responder groups. These multiple regression analyses were repeated using gingivitis (BOP) as the dependent variable and OHPI, PD, DT and MFT and age as independent variables. All of the clinically examined subjects were included because F score was not an independent variable for BOP. To ensure that obtained relationships were robust, influential points (outliers) were identified using a statistic (DFFITS) which measured the change in coefficients caused by removing the data for each subject. If this change exceeded 2(p/n), where p was the number of independent variables and n the number of samples [ 31 ] , the point was influential. Repeating the regressions with all the influential points removed determined the degree to which these points had affected the results. Results Definition of high antibody response IgG antibodies were initially detected in sera irrespective of whether D-alanyl LTA was immunoprecipitated. Excluding the Amish family group, there were 288 subjects whose sera failed to immunoprecipitate antigen (detected by immunoelectrophoresis). The mean IgG antibody concentration (log ng/ml) was 3.19 (0.64 standard deviation, s.d.) compared with 4.25 (0.57 s.d.) for 109 subjects whose sera did precipitate antigen ('t' test p <10 -6). High responders therefore had a log antibody content (ng/ml) that exceeded the mean plus standard deviation of non-precipitating serum (log ng IgG /ml >3.83). However, low IgG concentrations formed a cluster whose supremum (log ng IgG antibody/ml) was 3.861, which corresponds to 7.26 g/ml (left side of Fig. 2). Subjects were therefore classified as low responders if their log IgG antibody content exceeded 3.86 rather than 3.83. The odds ratio for a serum from a high antibody responder immunoprecipitating D-alanyl LTA was 14 times greater than for a low responder. High antibody response, age and gender Of the 397 students, patients and volunteers, 16 did not have their age recorded. High responders had a mean age of 32.7 years 9.4 s.d. (136 subjects) and low responders a mean age of 33.0 years 10.7 s.d. (245 subjects). Table 1shows the fraction of high responders in different age cohorts. There was a high responder frequency of 35-40% from age 15 through 54. The reduced frequencies of high response in childhood and old age were not significant. However, within the Amish family offspring high IgG responders were significantly older. Table 2shows that the high responder offspring had a mean age of 17.1 years compared with 13.3 years for low responders. This significant difference ('t' statistic = 2.42, degrees of freedom, d.f. = 35; p < 0.03) was due to few high responder children and young teenagers and a slightly greater fraction of siblings aged 15-25 years who were high responders (50%) compared with the general population. High antibody responders accounted for a similar fraction of subjects irrespective of whether they were in the clinical study, or dental students, or patients (Table 3). Men were 49.1% of the 395 students patients and volunteers whose sex was recorded. Men had also a greater frequency of high response 40.21% vs 31.34% and a greater mean log ng/ml IgG antibody content, 3.52 0.76 standard deviation (s.d.) vs 3.44 0.80 s.d. Neither of these differences were significant (X 2= 3.00, p = 0.09; 't' statistic = 0.34, p = 0.73). In serum samples from 18 subjects aged between 22 and 38, the IgG antibody concentrations were essentially the same after 6 months as originally estimated (squared correlation coefficient, R 2>0.95, p < 0.01). The results indicate that, for subjects aged 15 - 55, age and sex had little effect on the frequency of high D-alanyl LTA antibody response. Association of DMFT with gingival health and fluoride in high and low responders Table 4lists the variables tested for association with DMFT and the observed coefficients in high and low antibody responders. It was immediately apparent that the coefficients from PL were similar in both groups, whereas those from BOP and F score were only significant in high responders and those from PD were only significant in low responders. Comparison of the differences in coefficients between high and low responders, column 4 (column 2 - column 3), indicated relationships of DMFT to pocket depth that were significantly different and relationships of DMFT to F score that were almost significantly different, p = 0.062 (Table 4, column 4). Stepwise regression confirmed the similar associations of DMFT with plaque prevalence in both high and low IgG antibody responders, but significant associations with only F score and BOP prevalence in high responders and with only PD and age in low responders. In high responders, DMFT increased as plaque and BOP prevalences increased and fell as fluoride exposure increased. The equation obtained was: DMFT = 4.60 + 0.28 PL 0.39BOP - 0.88FScore (R 2= 0.51, F statistic = 10.75, p < 0.0001). By contrast, in low responders, DMFT increased with plaque prevalence, pocket depth and age. The equation was: DMFT = -13.37 + 4.58 PD 0.27 Age 0.30 PL (R 2= 0.26, F statistic = 7.41, p < 0.0003). Within each equation, the constant and the respective coefficients were significant (p < 0.05), except for the coefficient of age in low responders (p = 0.062). High responders receiving fluoridated drinking water for all 14 years of childhood (F score = 5), had a significantly lower DMFT than those never receiving fluoridated water (F score = O): DMFT = 7.50 4.52 (s.d.) vs 11.60 4.06 (s.d.); 't' test p < 0.04. This was not true of low responders in whom the difference between F score 5 and F score 0 was not significant (DMFT = 9.33 5.72 vs 12.07 5.85; 't' test p = 0.14). When antibody was ignored in stepwise regression (control), DMFT increased with age, PL and BOP, and decreased with F score: DMFT = -2.11 + 0.17 Age + 0.25 PL + 0.27 BOP - 0.39 FScore (R 2= 0.29, F statistic = 6.62, p < 0.0001). PL and BOP were individually significant. F Score and age were borderline, p = 0.09 and 0.14 respectively, and PD was not significant, being entirely replaced with age. Despite the subjects increasing to 102 (from 35 or 67) the strength of association was similar to that of low responders only. Association of DT with gingivitis in high and low responders Because caries experience associated with fluoride and gingival health in high responders, poor gingival health should increase the number of decayed teeth (DT) more than in low responders. When BOP was regressed against the variables in Table 5, only DT (column 4) differed significantly between the high and low responders. Although DT alone significantly correlated with BOP in both response groups (p < 0.01), it associated with BOP much more strongly in high responders (R 2= 0.57) than in low responders (R 2= 0.12). Fig. 3shows the respective correlations, and also the patient data (filled circles) skewed by few healthy subjects and the student data (unfilled circles) skewed by few moderate and no severely diseased subjects. Clearly, combining students and patients strengthened the respective associations ( coefficients). Stepwise regression indicated that, excluding DT, BOP associated with PL and PD similarly (BOP = -14.02 + 0.42 PL + 4.8 PD in high responders and BOP = -11.07 + 0.34 PL + 4.10 PD in low responders; R 2= 0.40 and 0.41 respectively; p < 0.001). However, DT explained more variance (BOP = -1.46 + 0.24 PL + 0.95 DT, R 2= 0.62, p < 0.001) in high responders, and less variance (BOP = -3.25 + 0.41 PL + 0.33 DT, R 2= 0.31, p < 0.001) in low responders. Influential points (outliers), whose presence might have affected the strength and significance of these complex regression analyses, were identified in five low responders and two high responders. When these subjects were omitted, the respective regression coefficients or their significance were little changed, indicating that the different, partial, linear regression coefficients in high or low responders were not artifacts of influential or outlying points. Discussion This study has demonstrated that IgG antibodies to D-alanyl LTA are widespread in US adults. The fraction of high responders was essentially constant from early adulthood through middle age, but reduced in children (<15 years) and old age (>55 years). Within the adults (ages 15-55 years) a change from low to high response or vice versa was found unlikely from repeated measurements over 2-6 months. A similar lack of change in this IgG antibody concentration was reported 2-3 months after an additional 26 similarly aged patients had received oral hygiene therapy in another study [ 32 ] . Finally, the family studies established that a high antibody response was probably induced during the mid-teenage years. In order to apply the results of this study to children and young teenagers, longitudinal studies of the antibody response in relation to age and the clinical measurements in this study may need to be undertaken. Despite few investigations of caries risk in 22-38 year old subjects compared with a younger or older group [ 7 ] , the association of DMFT with PL in this study agrees with that obtained from 35 year old Norwegians [ 3 ] . Plaque (simplified oral hygiene index measurement) accounted for 15% of the variance in number of decayed/filled teeth surfaces in that study, and for 19% of the DMFT variance within all 151 clinically examined subjects in this study (ignoring age, antibody and all other variables). Other studies have shown that the amount of fluoride applied from dentrifices is measured better from oral hygiene or plaque accumulation, as in this study, and not from the reported frequency of dentrifice use [ 2 3 ] . Finally, because subjects aged more than 38 are unlikely to have used fluoridated toothpastes until later in life, they were omitted to avoid confounding the results. The rationale behind this study was that acidic plaque environments increase the amount of D-alanyl LTA and promote its immunogenicity. Accordingly, caries-protection by fluoride in the water supply and dentrifices was strong in high IgG antibody responders, accounting for just over 50% of the variance in DMFT. In addition, gingivitis (BOP prevalence) associated strongly and significantly with the number of decayed (untreated) teeth, suggesting that preventing gingivitis increased fluoride exposure from dentrifices and reduced the number of decayed teeth. Increased exposure to fluoridated water, and dentrifices associated with good gingival health, may result in fluoride inhibiting enamel remineralization at the acidic plaque pH likely present in high responders. In low responders, the fewer antibodies to D-alanyl LTA suggest less colonization by acid-tolerant bacteria and a weaker cariogenic attack. DMFT associated with age, as reported for other subjects whose sera did not precipitate D-alanyl LTA [ 22 ] , and also with pocket depth. An increase in pocket depth is caused by periodontopathic bacteria that associate with an alkaline environment in the sulci over many years [ 20 ] and a microbiota that is neither acidic nor acid-tolerant [ 10 ] . The coefficient of DMFT association with PD in low responders therefore differed significantly from high responders within whom F score and gingival health were stronger covariates. Conclusions An increased mutans streptococcal challenge accompanying low plaque pH (high antibody response to D-alanyl LTA) allows much of the variation in caries experience to be controlled by water fluoridation and by the use of fluoridated dentrifices associated with maintaining oral health. High IgG antibody responders are therefore better protected from caries in an optimally fluoridated environment. The concept that fluoride protects better from caries in a low pH environment [ 12 ] was recently used to explain why there is a poor association between caries experience and pH fall after a 10% sucrose rinse [ 33 ] . In low responders, increased fluoride exposure from dentriflce use to maintain oral health, or from water fluoridation, associate relatively poorly with caries experience. Although this study has indicated that the IgG antibodies to D-alanyl LTA do not become elevated until after age 17, when much caries may have already developed, they may be elevated to a lower level in children who eventually become high responders. The D-alanyl LTA antibody response is not detectable in saliva (unpublished studies), but it can be measured from only a thumb-prick of blood. Longitudinal studies of the D-alanyl LTA response in children could improve current efforts to predict caries susceptibility by relating it to fluoride or the fluoride ion product for fluoroapatite in saliva and the pH change after a sucrose rinse [ 5 12 13 33 ] . Competing interests None declared Background Autoimmunity is a well-established mechanism of premature ovarian failure. [ 1 2 3 4 ] . It has been suggested that the presence of ovarian antibodies may be helpful in the diagnosis of ovarian autoimmunity [ 5 6 ] . However, presently there is no validated serum marker that can establish a diagnosis of autoimmune premature ovarian failure with certainty [ 7 ] . Young women can experience ovarian failure by several mechanisms other than autoimmunity [ 8 ] . A false positive diagnostic test indicating autoimmunity as the mechanism of spontaneous premature ovarian failure could put young women at risk for inappropriate therapy. Such therapy could have serious consequences, such as the development of osteonecrosis [ 4 ] Some women with premature ovarian failure have ovarian follicles that function intermittently [ 9 10 ] . and pregnancies have occurred after the diagnosis of premature ovarian failure [ 11 12 13 14 ] . Clinicians are in need of an accurate method for the diagnosis of autoimmune oophoritis, a test with proven sensitivity and specificity [ 15 ] . Here we conduct an investigation to determine whether a commercially available ovarian antibody test (Immunodiagnostic Laboratories, Inc., San Leandro, CA) might be useful in the diagnosis of autoimmune premature ovarian failure. We performed the test in women with premature ovarian failure, women with normal ovarian function, and in men. We found that this commercially available test has a high incidence of false positives. Therefore, this test would not be expected to be useful in the diagnosis of autoimmune premature ovarian failure. Methods Patients and Controls By local advertisement we recruited 26 control women with regular menstrual cycles (matched for age and parity to our patients) and 26 control men (matched for age). The controls were also matched to patients for race. We recruited patients with spontaneous premature ovarian failure by letters to physicians and notices in medical journals. The National Institute of Child Health and Human Development Institutional Review Board approved the protocol. We diagnosed premature ovarian failure in women who before the age of 40 had experienced amenorrhea in association with serum FSH levels greater than 40 mIU/mL (confirmed on two separate occasions, at least one month apart). Twenty-six patients with premature ovarian failure participated in this study (median age of 33 years, range 18-39 years). The women had been diagnosed at a median age of 30 years (range 15-38 years). The median time since diagnosis was 2 years (range 0.33-12 years). All patients had a normal karyotype and had no history of chemotherapy or radiation. Six patients (26%) had hypothyroidism, one patient had Addison disease, and one patient had Raynaud syndrome. Ovarian Antibodies We sent blinded specimens to Immunodiagnostic Laboratories, Inc. (San Leandro, CA) to be tested for ovarian antibodies using an indirect immunofluorescence test system supplied by Scimedx Inc. (Denville, NJ). The kit includes frozen sections of cynomologous monkey ovary as tissue substrate, a positive control of human serum known to contain antibodies against the zona pellucida, a negative control serum, and fluorescein isothiocyanate (FITC) conjugated goat antibodies against human immunoglobulins including IgG, IgM and IgA. Binding of antibody to the zona pellucida at a 1:10 dilution was reported by the laboratory on a scale of 0 to 3+ according to the intensity of fluorescence: 0, negative; 1+, weak; 2+ moderate or 3+ strong fluorescence (Figure 1). We also tested serum in our own laboratory using this same test system (Scimedx, Inc., Denville, NJ). Aliquoted serum samples of patients and controls were stored at -80C. After thawing at room temperature, serum samples were diluted 1:10 with PBS. We confirmed the adequacy of monkey ovary sections from individual lots in an unblinded manner before using them. For each experiment slides of monkey ovary with the same lot number were allowed to equilibrate to room temperature. Twenty microliters of blinded sample were applied to the tissue substrate slides. A slide containing positive and negative controls was run unblinded with each experiment. Slides were placed into a moist covered chamber and incubated for 30 minutes at room temperature. Next, the slides were washed in PBS for three 10-minute soaks. After blotting the slides, 20 uL of FITC-conjugated goat antibodies against human immunoglobulins was delivered to each sample and slides were again incubated in the moist chamber for 30 minutes. The washings and blotting were repeated as above. Mounting medium and a coverslip were applied. The slides were kept in a dark moist chamber until evaluated using a Zeiss Axiophot Fluorescent Microscope (Carl Zeiss Inc., Thornwood, NY) at 40 magnification with emission at 400 nM and excitation at 520-560 nM. We graded fluorescence of the zona pellucida on the same 0 to 3+ scale as noted above. Reproducibility To evaluate the reproducibility of the test we selected four patient samples previously determined by this technique to be 0, 1+, 2+, and 3+ for zona pellucida antibodies. In a blinded manner, we tested each sample 15 times (5 tests each on three separate days). Other Autoantibodies Antinuclear antibody (ANA) titer was determined by indirect immunofluorescence using Hep-2 substrate. Rheumatoid factor was determined by latex agglutination. Antiparietal cell antibodies were measured by indirect immunofluorescence using rat stomach (Smith Kline Beecham Clinical Laboratories, Van Nuys, CA). Antithyroid peroxidase (anti-TPO) binding activity was determined by a radiobinding assay using Iodine 125labelled human recombinant thyroid peroxidase (Nichols Institute, San Juan Capistano, CA). Statistics We used the Fischer exact test, chi-square, and the Spearman rank correlation test as appropriate. We used one-tailed tests to look for an increase in autoantibody as compared to controls and we set P < 0.05 as significant. Statistical analysis was performed using Sigma Stat Software (Jandel Scientific, San Rafael, CA). Results Ovarian antibodies By commercial laboratory Eight of 26 control women (31%) and 13 of 26 women with spontaneous premature ovarian failure (50%) had ovarian antibodies as detected by the commercial laboratory (Table 1). The frequencies were not significantly different ( P = 0.26, chi-square test). By our own laboratory When we evaluated these same samples for ovarian antibodies in our own laboratory we obtained similar results. Twelve of 26 patients (46%) with premature ovarian failure had ovarian antibodies versus 10 of 26 control women (38%) ( P = 0.78, chi-square test; Table 1). Reproducibility We could not reliably reproduce the four categories of ovarian antibody test grading. Although our results correlated with the known graded samples (r = 0.72, P < 0.05), the 1+ readings were reproduced in only 8 of the 15 tests (53%) and the 2+ readings were reproduced in only 2 of the 15 tests (13%) (Table 2). In contrast, the 0 and 3+ readings were reproduced in 13 (87%) and 12 (80%) of the 15 respective tests (Table 2). Efforts to improve the test Because the 1+ and 2+ readings had poor reproducibility, we were concerned that this inaccuracy might have impaired our ability to detect a difference between patients and control women. We therefore redefined the outcome measure to be read simply as positive (+) or negative (-). Positive was defined as the presence of homogeneous fluorescence on the zona pellucida above background and negative was defined as any fluorescence less than this. Tests were then repeated using serum from the 26 patients and 26 control women. We were unable to demonstrate a significant difference using the revised outcome measure. Patient serum was positive in 14 of 26 samples (54%) and control serum was positive in 11 of 26 samples (42%) (Table 1). When we tested the sera on three separate occasions with this method, we found 9 patient sera (35%) and 6 control sera (23%) to be consistently positive for zona pellucida antibody ( P = 0.38). We were unable to improve the test by using higher dilutions of serum (1:20, 1:40, and 1:80). All 26 patients and all 26 controls were negative for ovarian antibodies at 1:20. The positive control sample was positive at 1:40 and negative at 1:80. Specificity To evaluate the specificity of the test we compared sera from 26 normal women with sera from 26 normal men matched for age. The tests were performed at 1:10 dilution using the positive and negative outcome measure as discussed above. Women were significantly more likely to have ovarian antibodies than men. Eleven of 26 normal women (42%) had ovarian antibodies whereas none of the 26 normal men had these antibodies ( P < 0.001). These findings were confirmed in a separate experiment (9/26 versus 0/26, P < 0.002). Other Auto-antibodies Results of other antibody tests are shown in Table 3. Women with spontaneous premature ovarian failure were significantly more likely than control women to have parietal cell antibodies ( P < 0.05, Fischer's exact test) and thyroid peroxidase antibodies ( P < 0.05, Fischer's exact test). Discussion There is evidence to suggest that some patients with spontaneous premature ovarian may have clinically significant circulating ovarian antibodies. In a seminal study reported in 1979, Coulam and Ryan demonstrated that patients with premature ovarian failure, as a group, have ovarian antibodies present in their sera as determined by immunoprecipitation of radiolabeled human ovarian proteins [ 16 ] . However, the identity of these specific ovarian antigen(s) remains unknown. It should pointed out, however, that immunoblotting studies have failed to reveal a consistent pattern of binding using the sera of patients with premature ovarian failure [ 7 ] . Presently, there is no proven sensitive and specific serum test to confirm that a woman has ovarian failure on an autoimmune basis [ 7 ] . Histologic evaluation of the ovary is the only way to diagnose autoimmune oophoritis with certainty [ 17 ] . Nonetheless, some clinicians currently use commercial ovarian antibody tests for the diagnosis of autoimmune premature ovarian failure and make treatment recommendations based on these findings. This approach can have severe adverse consequences such as the development of osteonecrosis related to glucocorticoid therapy [ 4 ] . Here we demonstrate that detection of ovarian antibodies by indirect immunofluorescence using one specific commercial test system has poor specificity as a diagnostic test. The test is positive in nearly one-third of normal women. Therefore, the test is not a useful diagnostic marker of autoimmune premature ovarian failure. We found that women with premature ovarian failure are significantly more likely to have positive thyroid peroxidase and parietal cell autoantibodies than women with normal ovarian function. In this regard our findings are in agreement with previous studies [ 18 19 20 ] . In contrast to one previous study, however [ 21 ] , we did not find a significantly higher prevalence of antinuclear antibodies in women with premature ovarian failure. Because little is known about the pathophysiology of human autoimmune oophoritis, experimental animal models have been used to gain insight into possible mechanisms [ 22 23 ] . The fact that we found an increased frequency of thyroid and gastric parietal cell antibodies in our patients suggests similarity to a model of autoimmune ovarian failure that can be induced in certain strains of mice by performing neonatal thymectomy. These mice also develop autoimmunity against thyroid and gastric parietal cells [ 22 ] . It is well established that these mice with ovarian autoimmunity also develop circulating autoantibodies against the oocyte cytoplasm, the zona pellucida, and against steroid producing cells [ 22 ] . While we found evidence that one half of our patients had specific antibodies directed against the zona pellucida, we did not find any consistent pattern of immunofluorescence to suggest that our patients had antibodies directed against the oocyte cytoplasm or the steroid producing cells of the ovary. It is noteworthy that immune serum from mice with ovarian autoimmunity reacts specifically with an oocyte-specific protein called MATER [ 24 25 ] . We have subsequently identified the homologous human MATER gene and protein [ 26 ] In ongoing work we are evaluating the value of MATER antibodies as a marker for autoimmune ovarian failure in women. The fact that we did not detect ovarian antibodies binding to the zona pellucida in any of 26 men (p < 0.001) is intriguing. This finding supports proposals that pre-B cells undergo positive selection directed by the presence of surface heavy chains with low albeit sufficient affinity to the autoantigen. It appears then, that men, lacking the specific ovarian self-antigen, fail to provide positive selection for these pre-B cells clones. Also, this finding suggests that the detection system is specific for zona pellucida, and that further refinement of the assay system by using pure human recombinant zona pellucida protein might be useful. Sacco and Moghissi detected zona pellucida antibodies in both men and women by indirect immunofluorescence, but they used porcine rather than primate zonae pellicidae [ 27 ] . Normal animal and human serum are known to contain a wide range of low-titer autoantibodies that have been termed "natural autoantibodies" [ 28 ] . Even B cells from newborn mice and human cord blood produce these natural autoantibodies [ 29 30 31 ] . The low titer ovarian antibodies that we demonstrate here in the serum of normal women are likely natural autoantibodies, and not antibodies with any pathophysiologic significance. Identifying women with autoimmune premature ovarian failure presents the opportunity to restore ovarian function by proper immune modulation therapy. However, at present we don't really know how many women with premature ovarian failure develop it due to autoimmunity. Currently, ovarian biopsy is the only way to diagnose autoimmune premature ovarian failure with certainty. However, because there is no treatment proven safe and effective to restore fertility, in our view, ovarian biopsy is not indicated outside a controlled trial [ 17 ] . Conclusions We found that approximately one-third of women with normal ovarian function have ovarian autoantibodies detected by indirect immunofluorescence using monkey ovary as substrate. Hence, this ovarian antibody test as presently performed has poor specificity, and therefore appears to have no benefit in the evaluation and management of autoimmune premature ovarian failure. The specificity of any ovarian antibody test should be established before it is used clinically. Competing interests None declared. Authors' contributions J.A.N. and Z-B.T. participated in the design of the study and carried out the laboratory investigation. All authors participated in the analysis of the data and the preparation of the manuscript. L.M.N. conceived the study, participated in its design and coordination, recruited the patients, and was responsible for their evaluation and clinical care. All authors read and approved the final manuscript. Background The aim of this paper is to evaluate the ethnoveterinary remedies used by certain hunters in Trinidad. Plants are used to treat snakebites and scorpion stings and for hunting success. During the research some hunters claimed that their dogs either started hunting or hunted better after they had treated them in various ways with medicinal plants. This study has evolved out of an interest in a non-experimental evaluation of Trinidad and Tobago's ethnopharmacopoeia. This evaluation establishes whether the plant use is based on empirically verifiable principles or whether symbolic aspects of healing are more important [ 1 ] . Hunters are principally interested in the following game animals: agouti ( Dasyprocta agouti ), matte ( Tupinambis negropunctatus ), tatou ( Dasypus novemcinctus ), deer ( Mazama americana trinitatis ), lappe ( Agouti paca ), manicou ( Didelphis marsupialis insularis ), wild hog/quenk ( Tayassu tajacu ). The hunting season lasts from October 1st to February 28/29, then there is a closed season for the rest of the year. There is no comprehensive published information available on the number of hunting dogs in the country. Hunting dogs are typically foxhounds, 13 inch and 9 inch beagles, coonhounds (all original stock imported) and mixed breeds. These dogs are usually scent and not sight hounds. Methods Data collection The research area is located in Guayaguayare on private land belonging to a State-owned oil company. This area also has a protected animal reserve where in theory no hunting is allowed. From 1997 - 1999, the authors conducted research with one group of seven hunters based in south Trinidad on this private land (not in the protected animal reserve). One of these hunters was Indo-Trinidadian, the others were Afro-Trinidadian or of mixed race. This research included participant observation [ 2 ] , which involved taking part in five hunts over the three years (going into the forest, observing the chase and capture, sharing a meal and sharing of take home game). One veterinarian 1served as the linkage and provided entrance to this group and facilitated the participation in the hunting activities. Hunts started thirty minutes after this veterinarian arrived with the first author and either one or both of the two female veterinarians, typically between 9 a.m and 11 a.m. Hunts ended when at least one agouti was caught. The earliest occasion being 14.00 hrs. After the return to the camp, cooking would take place. Stories would continue until 20.00 to 22.00 hrs. The ethnoveterinary remedies were written up into a handout. The authors joined in two social occasions in which each hunter in turn sat with the first author and added details to information already documented in the handout and confirmed his remedies. These social occasions lasted from 11.00 a.m. to 21.00 hrs. Unstructured interviews were also held with four individual hunters in North Trinidad (Paramin) and two in Central Trinidad (Talparo) and four in Mayaro (South Trinidad). The interviews were an hour long in Paramin and Mayaro. Three eight hour days were spent talking to the Talparo informants while they worked on a cocoa and coffee farm. Paramin and Talparo retain Hispanic traditions either from the original Spanish colonists or from continuous small-scale immigration from Venezuela [ 3 ] . Many of the original Spanish colonists intermarried with Trinidad's original Amerinidian inhabitants. Two of the four hunters in Mayaro were Afro-Trinidadians the other two were of mixed race. The following information was collected from all respondents, the popular name, uses, part(s) used, mode of preparation and application. The ethnoveterinary handout was given to two hunters. These two hunters then used the documented information to provide 50% of the plants. A third hunter provided the plants that he used to bathe dogs for quenk hunting. The author collected the other 40% percent of the documented plants from the informants in Mayaro, Talparo and Paramin, and on one occasion when the hunting camp was being dismantled by three of the hunters for the closed season. The use of the plants was only reported, not observed. One plant bath was shown already prepared in Mayaro. All the plants were identified at the University of the West Indies Herbarium, but no voucher specimens were deposited. Results Environmental hazards The following section outlines environmental hazards to hunters (and researchers) which may explain some of their bush medicine remedies. One research hazard was the presence of a mite infestation Trombicula species, in the area. These mites are called 'bte rouge' locally because of the orange colour of the larval cluster seen on the skin. The mites affect game animals like agouti and can attack man since they attach themselves to all mammals and vertebrates. The author can confirm that depending on the sensitivity of the individual a larval infection produces slight or extreme irritation. Lesions may persist after the larvae have left to begin their adult stage however the dermatitis disappears. The adult mites are free living on vegetation and are found in fruit- growing areas on chalky soil [ 4 ] . Yellow fever outbreaks in the past have affected howler monkeys ( Alouatte seniculus insularis ) and can spread to any mammals, since these monkeys are susceptible to sylvan forms of the human disease [ 5 ] . Another occupational and research hazard is the presence of constricting and venomous snakes. 'Belle chemin' ( Liophis melanotus nesos ) is a constrictor. The 'huile' ( Boa murina ) eats all vertebrates. There are two families of venomous snakes. Within the Elapidae family in Trinidad there are two poisonous coral snakes ( Micrurus lemniscatus , Micrurus circinalis ) which rarely bite dogs or humans since they are small, rare, and have retracted fangs [ 7 ] . Micrurus venom has moderate effects on blood coagulation and tissue integrity however victims rarely survive because the potent neurotoxin in the venom causes a postsynaptic blockade of neuromuscular transmission [ 6 ] . The neurotoxin can cause cranial nerve paralysis leading to neurotoxic facies or respiratory paralysis and death [ 6 ] . Some harmless snakes in the Colubridae family like Leptodeira annulata ashmeadi , Leptophis ahaetulla coeruleodorsus , Clelia clelia clelia , Helicops angulatus , Liophis species, Oxybelis aeneus , Pseudoboa neuwiedii , Thamnodynastes species, and Tripanurgos compressus , Erythrolamprus species, Siphlophis cervinus , Oxyrhopus petola petola , may bite and cause a reaction or mild envenomation [ 7 ] . The last three are called false corals since they mimic true coral snakes for protection. Bites from false corals are more common than those of true corals [ 6 ] . Snakes in the Viperidae family are locally called 'mapepire'. These pit vipers have long, hollow fangs. The mapepire 'z'ananna' or 'bushmaster' ( Lachesis muta muta ) and 'mapepire balsain' or 'fer-de-lance' ( Bothrops atrox atrox ) are large and poisonous. Lachesis muta can inject a large dose of venom in a single bite [ 8 ] . These snakes have front fangs and bitten areas show severe swelling and necrosis of tissue due to haemorrhagic, myotoxic, necrotizing, defibrinogenating, coagulant, caseinolytic, proteolytic, oedema-inducing, coagulant and neurotoxic venom activities [ 8 ] . Hunting dogs may be stung by scorpions of the Buthidae family ( Tityus trinitatis ). The effects of the sting can be severe. Tityus trinitatis accounts for 90% of the scorpion population, but there are six other species which are all venomous [ 9 10 ] . Signs would be swelling, pain and limping in dogs. There are approximately 175 stings by Tityus trinitatis and eight human deaths annually [ 11 ] . In humans acute symptoms are convulsions, nausea, vomiting, drowsiness, sweating, dyspnoea and localised burning [ 10 ] . Of all scorpion sting victims, 80% developed acute pancreatitis and in 38% of these cases there was no abdominal pain [ 10 ] . Conventional treatment in Trinidad for snakebites and scorpion stings in dogs makes use of steroids, antibiotics and the ananase enzyme (from the pineapple Ananas comosus ) and needs to take place within 2 hours of the bite. Conventional treatment would include analgesics and antiinflammatory drugs [ 11 ] . The snake bite site typically is a necrotic area, the skin sloughs off due to the proteases in the venom and the area looks dark and bruised [ 12 ] . The ananase enzyme reduces the inflammatory response; and helps the breakdown of necrotic tissue. It is felt that dogs bitten on the head have a better chance of survival since there is less vascular absorption of the venom. Hunters' ethnoveterinary medicines Several plants are used in an attempt to improve hunting success. For this purpose the odour and other physical characteristics of the plant are very important. Plant use for hunting success has been divided into four categories. The first is called "steaming" and these plants are usually administered in baths and are considered mental and/or physical stimulants. Steaming is also carried out with one type of insect (an unidentified solitary wasp that hunts spiders). Both the wasp and its spider prey are put into rum with guinea pepper ( Aframomum melegueta ) on a Friday. This solution is then given to the dog, or included in the bath water, and it was claimed to have a stimulant effect on the dog. The second category comprises plants placed in the dog's nose. Here it is expected that this action will act as a nasal and chest decongestant and the dog will subsequently have a better sense of smell and improve its ability to follow a scent. The third category is based partly on the Doctrine of Signatures in which a plant characteristic is considered to have a desirable quality or to have a physical property that resembles the desired game. This desirable quality is claimed to be transferred to the dog after the plant is used in a bath. The plants used in this category are also chosen in recognition of animal behaviour. For example one respondent claimed that after the hole of an agouti was dug out Piper marginatum was found in the hole and it was claimed that it was being used as a bed. Therefore hunting dogs bathed with this plant would recognise the smell of the agouti, which would carry traces of the strong smell of Piper marginatum . The fourth category is called "cross". In this situation the hunters complain that the dog goes in the opposite direction from the game. The dog is faced upstream and bathed in a river and rubbed with the crushed leaves of seven different plants (sometimes the plants used have no other distinguishing characteristic). The dog is then turned to face downstream. One respondent claimed that when dogs are "crossed" and seem to be "climbing trees" they are really chasing spirits in the forest. One hunter who hunts quenks claimed that dogs are trained to hunt small game first. For example the dog is bathed with congo lala ( Eclipta prostrata ) and it will start hunting matte ( Tupinambis negropunctatus ), then it is bathed with caraaili leaf ( Momordica charantia ) and barbadine leaf ( Passiflora quadrangularis ) so that it will hunt larger game. Eventually the dog is bathed with the plants for quenks. Plants are also used for emergencies such as snakebites. Plants used for snakebites are typically made into tinctures with alcohol or sweet oil (olive oil) and kept in 150 ml flasks called 'snake bottles'. Snakes bottles contain one or more plants and/ or insects. These tinctures are also used against scorpion stings ( Tityus trinitatis ). Plants used in snake medicines are often collected during Lent or specifically on Good Friday. In normal years this period corresponds to the Dry season and the concentration of plant chemicals may differ from other times of the year. Tref ( Aristolochia trilobata ) has to be rewarded with silver coins as a symbolic payment before removing some of its parts, or the respondents claim that the entire plant or clump of plants will die. This payment was supposed to be placed in the hole from which the root was dug. The only explanation given for the payment was that the plant was not a "simple plant". Several of the plants have one local name for several closely related species. For example Candlestick is the name of Piper hispidum , Piper marginatum (species collected), Piper amalgo and Piper dilatatum . Monkey step refers to either Bauhinia exisa or the more commonly found Bauhinia cumanensis . All closely related species will be dealt with in the ethnomedicinal literature review. The plants used to influence success in hunting are presented below in Tables 1and 2. The plants used for snakebites, mange and other skin conditions, and injuries are listed below the tables. Tables 1and 2to be put here. Plants used for snakebites If dogs are bitten by snakes, the injury is usually on the nostrils, forehead or front shoulder. For snakebites of hunters and their dogs a piece of the woody flexible vine called monkey ladder ( Bauhinia cumanensis or Bauhinia excisa , Fabaceae) is pounded and put on the bite. It is claimed that this stops the flesh around the bitten area from dropping off. Alternatively a tincture is made with a piece of the vine and kept in a snake bottle. Tinctures are also made with single or multiple ingredients and plant parts. A typical tincture would contain one or more of the following plants: mat root ( Aristolochia rugosa ), cat's claw ( Pithocellobium unguis-cati ), tobacco ( Nicotiana tabacum ), snake bush ( Barleria lupulina ), obie seed ( Cola nitida ), and wild gri gri root ( Acrocomia ierensis , tentative ID). Some snake bottles also contain the caterpillars ( Battus polydamus , Papilionidae) [ 13 ] that eat tref leaves ( Aristolochia trilobata ). The leaf juice of Eclipta prostrata is used for scorpion stings. Emergency snake medicines are obtained by chewing a three-inch piece of the root of bois cant ( Cecropia peltata ) taken from the east part of the tree and administering this chewed-root solution to the dog. Alternatively four or five berries of mardi gras ( Renealmia alpinia ), are crushed with the juice of wild cane ( Costus scaber ) and the dog is given two spoonfuls of the resulting solution. All the respondents claimed that their snake medicines were effective against bites/stings of mapepire. One respondent who used mardi gras ( Renealmia alpinia ) for his dog claimed that the dog's throat became swollen after the snake bite. After he gave the dog the medicine it stood up and it was completely recovered hours later. Plants used for mange and other skin conditions The leaves and vine stem of wild caraaili ( Momordica charantia ) are crushed in water and used to bathe dogs with mange. The pulp of the fruit of the cannonball tree ( Couroupita guianensis ) is rubbed on the infected skin of mangy dogs. A frothy solution is obtained by crushing the leaves of syrio ( Sambucus simpsonii ) in water. This is used to rub dogs with mange. It is claimed that when the dog licks its skin, this medicine will also work internally. Dogs with rashes are bathed with St. John's bush ( Justicia secunda , Acanthaceae). It is claimed that this plant imparts a red colour to the bath water. Plants used for injuries Dogs may get trauma damage during the hunt but may have insufficient contact with game animals to pick up any diseases directly from them. Mardi gras ( Renealmia alpinia ) is used to bathe dogs who have strained a limb. Leaves of physic nut ( Jatropha curcas/gossypifolia ) are boiled and the decoction used to clean sores. Other injuries that hunting dogs are susceptible to would be nail breakage, lameness and shoulder injuries, injuries caused by running into an object or the dog may be kicked by a deer. Dosages Dosages were imprecise but hunters claimed to know what would happen with some cases of overdosing. For example an overdose of ruckshun ( Vernonia scorpioides ) would over-excite the dog to the point where it would even bark at snakes. If a dog is given a tincture made with puncheon rum (80% proof), it is claimed that the dog may become temporarily crazy. Based on experiences like these, some hunters have switched from alcohol to olive oil for their tincture solution. Additionally alcohol tends to evaporate. Lipophilic compounds are not extracted in alcohol that would be extracted by olive oil. One respondent claimed that pot bush ( Ottonia ovata ) gave his dog a headache (it shook its head continuously and there is no sign of anything in its ear), and it made two respondent's tongues numb. This respondent then put Vicks in his dog's nose as an alternative. Another used vinegar as an alternative to the 'scratchy' pot. Another respondent claimed that dogs had a stronger constitution than humans and should be given the equivalent of twice the human dose per body weight. Discussion Amerindian conceptualisations of nature The following section attempts to reframe the ethnomedicinal data in terms of bioscientific concepts and methods; or to establish whether symbolic aspects of healing (social support, belief systems) are of greater relevance [ 1 14 ] . The symbolic aspects of the plant use are very similar to those of the South American Amerindians and modern hunters may be unknowingly using the traditions of the original Amerindian inhabitants of Trinidad and Tobago. These Amerindian traditions are related to those previously practiced in South America. For example the claim that dogs that are "crossed" are chasing spirits in the forest rather than prey may be related to the belief of theTacana in Bolivia that malevolent spirits dwell in canopy trees such as Dipteryx odorata and Ceiba samauma [ 15 ] . The Caribs in Dominica used leaf baths against bad luck [ 16 ] . From the Venezuelan/Spanish or Amerindian tradition comes the belief in plants called "turals" in Venezuela and in Spanish-speaking Trinidad. These plants bring good fortune and have silver coins planted at their roots [ 3 13 ] . The belief that plants can bring luck may explain their use for hunting dogs. These beliefs may have originated in the Amazon where baths are a frequent way to utilise traditional remedies [ 17 ] . Absorption routes of active compounds are the respiratory tract (volatile substances carried by water vapour) and the skin [ 17 ] . It is also practical to use baths if the intention is to disguise the smell of the hunting dog so that the game animal does not recognise it [ 18 ] . The use of hallucinogenic and other plants to improve hunting success is documented in the literature [ 19 16 ] . Waorani in the Ecuadorian Amazon feel that the characteristics of one entity or object may pass to another [ 19 ] . These beliefs may lie behind the use of plants for hunting success. Various rituals were performed by the Amerindians in Guyana before a hunt [ 20 ] . These rituals included plants called 'beenas', which acted as charms to entice any object or desire wanted, including making the capture of game certain. Each beena usually had a specific purpose. Beenas were used for dogs, which were made to swallow specific pieces of roots and leaves for specific game animals [ 20 ] . Beenas were used because there was an ancient almost forgotten belief that plants possessed associated spirits [ 21 ] . In addition to the plant use of the Guyanese Amerindians, ants and other insects were made to bite the nostrils of the hunting dog. Plant leaves and other plant parts including peppers were then rubbed into the wounds on the noses of the dogs [ 20 ] . This was done on the assumption that the power of scent in dogs was improved by these practices since the nasal mucous membranes were cleaned, the perceptions were sharpened, and the dog would keep its nose to the ground when hunting [ 20 21 ] . There seemed to be a mental connection of success in acquisition of game with pain previously inflicted on the hunter and his dog [ 20 ] . The nervous system of the dogs was irritated to such an extent that it was responsive to even the slightest external stimulus and therefore more likely to be successful in hunting [ 21 ] . There was also the belief that inflicting pain was a means of preparing to meet without flinching any pain or danger that could arise during the chase [ 20 ] . This preparation was not ill-advised since Lachesis muta muta often lives in the burrows of lappe and tatou [ 22 ] . Each hunting dog was trained to hunt one sort of game [ 20 ] . The use of the solitary wasp in the "steaming" process can also be linked to Amerindian traditions. Firstly, the Amazonian belief that the characteristics of one entity or object may pass to another [ 19 ] , could explain the use of a wasp that hunts successfully in baths or decoctions to make dogs better hunters. Additionally there are records of a specific ant that was given to dogs by Guyanese Amerindians in order to make them good hunters [ 21 ] . Amerindians also named their hunting dogs after ants and a wasp called "warribisi" that caught prey. Costus species is called poivre ginet in Dominica, while Aframomum melegueta is called guinea pepper in most of the Caribbean. It is not known if the original Amerindian practice was for both plants to be used for hunting dogs. Plants are given symbolic payments if they are considered to have supernatural owners who require such payment [ 23 ] . The payment is placed on the ground near the plant before it is picked and can be recovered later by the person who picked it [ 23 ] . Much of the plant use is based on the Doctrine of Signatures which claims that plant morphology suggests the medicinal use for a plant. One example is the use of leaves from various species of Aristolochia to treat snakebites [ 24 21 ] . The triangular head of a Bothrops viper is similar in size and shape to many Aristolochia species leaves [ 24 ] . The serpentine coloration of the flowers of the Aristolochia vines also suggests the use as tourniquets to prevent the spread of snake venom and the use of the leaves in anti-snakebite potions [ 25 ] . The Doctrine of Signatures is also seen in the plants used as "beenas" or "turals" which are supposed to have patterns on their leaves resembling different forest animals [ 3 ] . The beena for lappe had typical white markings similar to those of the lappe, while the beena for quenk had a leaf with a small secondary leaf under the surface that resembled either the scent gland of the quenk or its nostril tip [ 20 ] . Medicinal plants are collected on Good Friday in Almera, Spain [ 26 ] . Hunting success The characteristics that dogs need for hunting success are scent-accuracy, speed, enthusiasm and stamina. However, several of the hunting dogs observed by the authors were in poor condition. Medicinal properties in the plants used for baths may help alleviate any subclinical infections these dogs might have due to their poor condition. Agouti feed by day on fallen fruits [ 5 ] . During the hunts they were observed to be running within particular territories when chased but had a habit of running and doubling back or crossing water to disguise their scent. Dogs pursuing this game have to have their wits about them, be fit, and be persistent. The hunters chose smaller dogs as "agouti dogs" so that they could follow agoutis through dense bush to their hiding places. The hunters reported that deer ran straight for miles until they lost their pursuers. Deer hunters were reported to spend days searching for their lost dogs. Deer dogs were chosen for endurance. Deer are also solitary and nocturnal and enter water when chased [ 5 ] . They are also adapted to swampy areas and are good at camouflage [ 5 ] . All these characteristics are considered by the hunters when choosing deer dogs. Lappe, tatou and manicou are nocturnal, living in hollow fallen trees during the day and they forage at night [ 5 ] . Dogs pursing this game would ideally have good night vision, a good sense of smell and cannot be afraid to dive into hollow logs or into water, since lappe often enter their burrows from under water [ 5 ] . Lappe have four longitudinal rows of white spots [ 5 ] . Hunters claim that the plants used to bathe dogs so that they will hunt lappe have similar markings. Hunters also claimed that dogs hunting tatou may have to dig to unearth their prey. Wild hog/quenk can be very aggressive, especially in a group of five or six [ 5 ] . They live in swampy parts of the forest and will cross water during the day [ 5 ] . The bristles on the mid-dorsal line from crown to rump of the quenk raise when the animal is excited and the musk glands emit a musky odour [ 5 ] . Quenks eat succulent tubers and fallen fruits and nuts [ 5 ] . The bravery dogs need to hunt quenk has been documented [ 27 ] . Of an original pack of nine 'native curs' trained in quenk and lappe hunting, two received deep flesh wounds inflicted by the tusks of two quenks during a hunt. Four others were bitten by a Lachesis muta muta that one dog pulled out of a hollow tree [ 27 ] . Two of the bitten dogs ran off before they could be treated and died within fifteen minutes. The two other dogs bitten by 'his snakeship' (7 ft, 10 ins) on the neck and paw were held and treated with the local folk medicine of roots, barks and seeds in a tincture with rum [ 27 ] . These two were carried home and recovered in three days. The author did not indicate if the three uninjured dogs of the nine were the 'bravest', 'least brave' or the most 'alert', 'agile' or 'lucky'. Olfactory considerations There is literature establishing that native Amerindians participated in hunts with Creole hunters [ 27 ] . This may explain not only the symbolic aspects of the plant use by modern hunters discussed above but also the olfactory considerations discussed in this section. Both sections show parallels between the practices of current Trinidad hunters and the indigenous knowledge of native South American groups. The Mixe in Mexico consider that the odour and taste of a plant are important criteria in deciding what plants to use for an illness [ 1 ] . The Waorani in Amazonian Ecuador consider that plants with strong, or repulsive odours will force symptoms to flee from the body and this belief guides their use of Renealmia alpinia and a Philodendron for snakebites [ 28 ] . The Warao in eastern Venezuela consider 'bad air' to be pathogenic and 'good' or perfumed air to be therapeutic [ 29 ] . The acute sense of smell in dogs is due to a large area of olfactory epithelium [ 18 ] . Smells have the advantage of remaining in the environment for a long time and are a useful means of communication in dense vegetation where verbal and visual communication is impaired. When hunters bathe dogs with strongly smelling members of the Piper species they may be imitating animal behaviour or trying to mask the individual body odour of their dogs so that they remain un-detected by game animals. Dogs show a form of behaviour called rolling/rubbing in strongly smelling objects [ 30 ] . The intention of the dog may be to eliminate or dilute the odour since this type of rolling is frequently associated with sneezing and running [ 30 ] . In other cases the dog may roll in an odour that is considered unpleasant by humans. There are two plausible explanations for this last behaviour. One is that the dog is attempting to take on the odour like a perfume, the other is that the odour is too strong to cover with a urine mark so the dog tries to cover it with its entire body surface [ 30 ] . There are indications that South American Amerindians were aware of animal behaviour in relation to smells. For example, the bristles on the mid-dorsal line from crown to rump of the quenk elevate when the animal is excited and the musk glands emit a musky odour [ 5 ] . Quenks maintain odour homogeneity within the herd. Each animal rubs the lower portion of its jaw on a gland in the other's mid-dorsum. If a veterinarian removes a quenk from the herd for treatment, it will be killed when it is replaced, since it will no longer have this herd odour (Dr. Gabriel Brown, Department of Clinical Sciences, University of the West Indies, pers. comm. 2000). If hunters bathe dogs with a plant that quenks eat the temporary smell dogs obtain from this bath may be similar to the smell of a quenk that feeds on this plant. Roucouyennes (Caribs) rubbed their dogs with Hibiscus abelmoschus with the expectation that its pungent smell would prevent jaguars from biting their dogs [ 21 ] . Tukanoan tribes in South America also believed that deer had an inoffensive body odour that was linked to their diet of "pure" foods such as fresh sprouts, young green leaves and sweet fruits [ 31 ] . Tukanoan tribes also believed that people and animals have smells related to the food that they eat and the environment that they lived in [ 31 ] . This association of animal smells with their environment is perhaps what the informant was referring to in his reference to an agouti and the smell of its Piper marginatum "bed". There is evidence that some of the plants used by hunters are eaten by deer and possibly by other game animals (these are Costus species, Eschweilera species, Piper species and Pithecellobium species [ 32 ] . Tukanoan tribes also recognise the complex pheromonal system of chemical communication that deer and other animals use. For example they claimed that when white-tailed deer are frightened suddenly from close by, they run off and repeatedly break wind. These tribes interpret this behaviour as an attempt to mask the odour trail left by the deer's interdigital glands and thus mislead predators and hunting dogs [ 31 ] . Poisons Caterpillars may accumulate chemical compounds from the plants that they feed on, which may explain their usefulness as part of a remedy. Some hairy caterpillars have urticating hairs, which can cause severe skin reactions and pain [ 9 ] . It is not known what effect if any the caterpillar venom has on the snake bit remedy. Any effect of the plants claimed to be efficacious against scorpion stings may be due to symptomatic relief - analgesic, antiinflammatory, antipruritic effects, in addition to other biological activities [ 11 ] . While proteases, phospholipase A 2 and nucleotidases are responsible for the haemorrhagic lesions induced by Bothrops jararaca venom, most crotalid myotoxins are phospholipases and some exhibit proteolytic activities [ 12 ] . Crotalid snakes have a wide geographical distribution, this may contribute to differences in their venom composition [ 8 ] . Differences in venom composition may play a role in the effectiveness of the medicinal plants used for snakebites. Unfortunately no research on the venoms of Trinidad's snakes was discovered so the following review is of the closely related South American and Caribbean snakes and scorpions. Phospholipase A 2 was purified from Lachesis muta venom in Brazil, the venom also showed procoagulant and proteolytic activities [ 33 ] . High proteolytic activity was found in venom of Lachesis muta and no platelet pro-aggregating activity, low inhibitory effect on platelet aggregation and low procoagulant, proteolytic and phospholipase activity for Botrops atrox in Brazil [ 34 ] . Studies in South America detail the pain and oedema at the bite site and manifestations of autonomic nervous system stimulation (vomiting, diarrhoea, sweating, hypersalivation, bradycardia) that may be attributed to serine protease in Lachesis muta venom which causes hypotension by releasing kinins from plasma kininogen [ 8 ] . There are also cases of bleeding distant from the bite site such as gingival haemorrhage, epistaxis, haemoptysis, haematuria, uterine bleeding, soft tissue haematomas and very infrequently intrathoracic or intrabdominal bleeding [ 35 ] . Complications in the bitten limb can include secondary infections by Gram-negative organisms and acute renal failure among others [ 8 ] . There is a bothrojacarin-like 27 kDa protein in Bothrops species venom [ 36 ] . Bothrojacarin forms a non-covalent complex with thrombin, blocking its ability to induce platelet aggregation and fibrinogen clotting [ 8 36 ] . Haemostatic effects in Lachesis muta venom are attributable to an alpha-fibrin(ogen)ase and haemorrhagic metalloproteinases (LHF-1 and LHF-II) which have alpha-fibrin(ogen)ase activity [ 8 ] . The severity of envenoming depends on the species and length of the snake, the toxicity of the venom and the amount inoculated [ 37 ] . Also important are physical activity after the bite and the physical characteristics of the victim [ 37 ] . The severity of bites from Bothrops laceolatus in Martinique is increased due to the primary bacterial infection from bacteria present in the oral cavity of the snake ( Aeromonas hydrophila , Morganella morganii , Proteus vulgaris and Clostridium species) [ 37 ] . This means that antibiotic treatment is sometimes necessary [ 32 ] . Scorpion venom when injected exerts a strong inflammatory response [ 11 ] . Many plant species used against stings contain compounds with antiinflammatory properties, flavonoids (rutin, hesperidin, quercetin), coumarins (bergapten), coumestans (wedelolactone), triterpenes, sterols and saponins [ 38 11 ] . The mechanism of action of the flavonoids is based on the inhibition of enzymatic steps in the arachidonic acid cascade [ 38 ] . Plant compounds that are immunostimulants at very low doses are some alkaloids, quinones, isobutylamides, phenolcarboxylic acid esters and terpenoids [ 39 ] . Other plant compounds with immunostimulatory effects are sesquiterpene lactones [ 40 ] . Many polysaccharides and glycoproteins enhance the unspecific immune system by activating the phagocytotic activity of granulocytes and macrophages, or by inducing cytokine production or influencing complement factors [ 39 ] . Some compounds from plants used for general inflammation also inhibit enzymes (like phospholipase A 2 ) from snake and scorpion venom [ 40 11 42 ] . Some of these plant compounds are hypolaetin-8-glucoside and related flavanoids. Stimulation of the immune system might also contribute to reducing the effects of snakebites and improvement in recovery from envemomization by contributing to a more rapid removal of the venom [ 11 ] . Chlorogenic acid acts as an antidote by binding to proteins through hydrophobic interactions and hydrogen bonds [ 41 ] . It presents anticomplementary action at the classical pathway [ 41 ] . Analgesic properties like those provided by tropane alkaloids would also lessen the pain of the bite, as would compounds that act as sedatives and tranquilisers [ 40 ] . Several pharmacological properties of plants reputed to be snakebite antidotes include antimyotoxic, antihaemorrhagic, analgesic, and antiedematogenic, blockage of cutaneous and intraperitoneal capillary permeability activity caused by the venom and protection from its lethality [ 38 ] . A more direct anti-venom activity would involve complexation of the compounds with venom constituents thus rendering them unable to act on receptors; or to act by competitive blocking of the receptors [ 11 ] . Phenolic compounds especially complex polyphenols like some tannins can bind with proteins [ 42 ] . Alternatively, the catecholamines released as a result of venom-receptor interaction may be antagonised or metabolised more quickly [ 11 ] . Plant extracts ( Mucuna pruriens var. utilis) that produce a dose-related increase in the clotting time of blood induced by carpet viper venom ( Echis carinatus ) would be useful against bites from Bothrops species that cause haemorrhage at the point of injection due to the inhibition of the clotting mechanism [ 40 ] . Antivenom compounds so far isolated from plants include protocatechuic acid, a catechin-gallo-catechin tannin, caffeic acid derivatives (chlorogenic acid, cynarin), coumarins (bergapten), flavonoids (rutin, isoscutellarein, kaempferol, quercetin, hesperidin), ar-turmerone, alkaloids (aristolochic acid), triterpenoids, triterpenes, coumestans (wedelolactone), sterols (sitosterol, stigmasterol, beta-amyrin), triterpenoid glycosides, alkaloids (allantoin) and lignoflavonoids [ 43 40 44 42 ] . Many relevant compounds are widely distributed nitrogen-free, low molecular weight compounds (except aristolochic acid, an untypical non-basic, nitro-derivative) [ 38 ] . The structural similarities of certain plant chemicals found in plants used for snakebites are an isoflavone skeleton, acidic nature and dioxygenated functionality [ 44 ] . One study found total inhibition of Bothrops asper haemorrhage with the ethanolic, ethyl acetate and aqueous extracts of plants containing catequines, flavones, anthocyanines and condensated tannins. These compounds may have played a role in the inhibitory effect observed, probably owing to the chelation of the zinc required for the catalytic activity of venom's haemorrhagic metalloproteinases [ 45 ] . Reduction in the intensity of the effects of envenomation could also be achieved by a neutralisation of the venom peptides, polypeptides, proteins and enzymes [ 38 11 ] . There are plants used for snakebite that act by inhibiting the proteolytic activities of the venom and antagonising crotoxin-induced haemolysis, myotoxic and haemorrhagic activities of crotalid venoms [ 46 ] . Tityus trinitatis toxic fraction was recognised by the antiserum of the Venezuelan scorpion Tityus discrepans (which has a -type toxin) [ 47 ] . The onset of symptoms from the time of evenomation is generally between five and thirty minutes. Local evidence of a sting is often minimal or absent but several patients report severe pain or a burning sensation with intense pruritis and local or general hyperesthesia [ 11 ] . Symptoms may last from seven days to several weeks. Redness, inflammation and local oedema at the sting site are evident [ 11 ] . In Trinidad the following clinical features have been seen: tachypnea, restlessness, vomiting, increased salivation, cerebral oedema, pulmonary oedema, hypovolemic shock and convulsions, with myocarditis and pancreatitis being major complications [ 48 ] . Scorpion venoms may cause these symptoms through release of catecholamines from the sympathetic nervous system [ 11 ] . The venom exerts its effects primarily to the cardiovascular and respiratory systems, but there is also stimulation of both the sympathetic and parasympathetic peripheral activities [ 11 ] . The venom is a complex mixture of phospholipase A 2 , low molecular weight proteins, acetylcholinesterase, hyaluronidase, toxic polypeptides, amino acids, serotonin and neurotoxins [ 11 48 ] . Two fatal cases suggested toxic myocarditis [ 48 ] . Review of the known biological effects of the plants and their constituents This section reviews available literature on the plants identified in this study and compares their Trinidad and Tobago ethnoveterinary use to the folk-medicinal use in other countries (mainly Latin America and the Caribbean). All folk-medicinal uses are human uses unless otherwise specified. Plants used to achieve hunting success including those chosen according to the Doctrine of Signatures will be treated here as medicinal plants since supernatural emic can occasionally suggest etic efficacy [ 49 ] . For each species or genus a summary of chemical constituents will be given, in addition to active compounds if known. This type of ethnopharmacological review and evaluation is documented in the literature [ 1 ] . The plants below are listed in alphabetical order. Acrocomia ierensis (tentative ID). No research was found on the compounds in the root. Aframomum melegueta has been previously recorded as a stimulant [ 50 ] . Caribs of Dominica used Aframomum granum-paradisi leaves on their bodies while they were bathing and the plant was also given to their hunting dogs [ 16 ] . Seeds were put into rum as a 'chauffe' to excite dogs [ 16 ] . Aframomum granum-paradisi contains alkaloids (piperine), essential oils and resins [ 54 ] . Aristolochia rugosa and Aristolochia trilobata are recorded in a list of plants used worldwide and in the West Indies, Venezuela, South and Central America against snakebites and scorpion stings [ 51 52 24 43 40 53 ] . Caribs in Guatemala use Aristolochia trilobata root and tuber decoctions for stomach pains and use leaf tinctures for diarrhoea [ 55 ] . Aristolochic acid inhibits inflammation induced by immune complexes, and nonimmunological agents (carrageenan or croton oil) [ 56 ] . Aristolochic acid inhibits the activity of snake venom phospholipase (PLA 2 ) by forming a 1:1 complex with the enzyme [ 56 40 38 ] . Since phospholipase enzymes play a significant part in the cascade leading to the inflammatory and pain response, their inhibition could lead to relief of problems from scorpion envenomation [ 11 ] . Barleria lupulina is well known in Thai folk medicine as an antiinflammatory, and is used against snakebites and varicella zoster virus lesions and showed activity against five clinical isolates of herpes simplex virus type 2 [ 57 ] . Compounds found in the leaves of Barleria lupulina are barlerin, acetylbarlerin, shanzhiside methyl ester, acetylshanzhiside methyl ester, ipolamiidoside and iridoid glucosides [ 58 ] . An antibiotic and immunostimulant protein was reported from the plant and other species and patented [ 57 ] . Bauhinia excisa vine decoction has been used for snakebites and pain and the root decoction is used for scorpion stings in Trinidad [ 52 ] . Indigenous Mayans and inhabitants of Eastern Nicaragua use Caspicum frutescens for fever, respiratory problems and infections [ 59 53 ] . Capsaicinoids are powerful skin irritants [ 54 ] . Capsaicin is a vanillylamide with hyperemic and anaesthetic properties [ 39 61 ] . It causes vasodilatation, enhanced permeability and has antiinflammatory and neurotransmitter activation properties [ 61 ] . Capsicum species have inhibitory effects on Bacillus species, Clostridium species and Streptococcus pyogenes [ 59 ] . Capsaicin's use in the treatment of chronic pain is due to an analgesic effect that is explained by capsaicin's action of depletion of stores of substance P from primary sensory neurons as a consequence of the reduced production of prostaglandin [ 39 60 ] . Capsaicin's antiphlogistic activity is due to the "counter-irritant effect"; which means that a local irritant effect exerts an additional more remote antiinflammatory effect [ 60 ] . This is explained by a liberation of corticoids under the influence of certain cutivisceral reflexes [ 60 ] . The counter-irritant effect on the gastric mucosa also occurs because capsaicin stimulates production of the cytoprotective prostaglandin E 2 [ 60 ] . Capsaicin produces analgesic and antiinflammatory effects because it inhibits both 5-lipoxygenase and cycoloxygenase [ 39 ] . A 10 g human ingestion of red pepper stimulated carbohydrate oxidation [ 62 ] . This may explain why the Choc Indians used it to give their hunting dogs more "energy" [ 25 ] . Cecropia peltata leaves boiled in water are used in a bath for rheumatism in Guatemala [ 63 ] Cecropia peltata leaves are used for aches, abscesses, coughs, pains, fever, pertussis, skin lesions and digestive problems in Eastern Nicaragua, Jamaica and Cuba [ 53 64 ] . Cecropia peltata leaves are used for snakebites in Trinidad [ 52 65 ] . Free fatty acids including stearic, arachidic, behenic, lignoceric and cerotic acids were isolated from Cecropia species. Leaves of Cecropia peltata contain leucocyanidin [ 54 ] . Cola nitida nuts contain a heart stimulant (kolanin), caffeine, strychine, theobromine and quinine and are associated with increased blood pressure [ 71 ] . Costus species is called Poivre Ginet in Dominica and was used to bathe hunting dogs by the Caribs [ 66 ] . Costus scaber (syn. Costus cylindricus ) showed some activity against Bacillus subtilis [ 67 ] . Costus lasius is used by traditional healers for snakebites in the northwest region of Colombia. An ethanolic extract of Costus lasius (leaves, branches and stem) partially neutralised Bothrops atrox venom when it was injected i.p. into mice (18-20 g) [ 68 ] . Costus speciosus contains diosgenin, and beta-glucosidase which converts a furostanol glycoside (protogracillin) to a spirostanol glycoside (gracillin) [ 69 70 ] . Couroupita guianensis (Lecythidaceae) fruit pulp contains sugar, gum, and malic, citric and tartaric acids. 'When ripe the fruit pulp exceeds in foul odour all that is abominable in nature' [ 76 ] . Dendropanax arboreus is used for snakebites and externally for foot inflammation in Columbia and is also used by the Tacana in the Bolivian Amazon [ 72 15 ] . Leaves of Dendropanax arboreus showed cytotoxic activity. The active compound is an acetylenic compound [ 73 ] . Other compounds in the leaf extract are dehydrofalcarinol, a diynene, falcarindiol, dehydrofalcarindiol, and two new polyacetylenes (dendroarboreols) [ 74 ] . The in vitro myotoxicity of the crotalid venoms venoms ( Bothrops jararaca , Bothrops jararacussu and Lachesis muta ) and myotoxins (bothropstoxin, bothropasin and crotoxin) was neutralised by simultaneous exposure of isolated skeletal muscles to an aqueous extract of Eclipta prostrata or to wedelolactone, stigmaterol and sitosterol. Stigmaterol and sitosterol were less effective than wedelolactone, but interacted synergistically with it [ 12 ] . These effects were interpreted as consequences of antiproteolytic and antiphospholipase A 2 activities of Eclipta prostrata and its constituents [ 12 ] . These three plant compounds have anti-inflammatory properties and are recognised anti-venom compounds [ 43 40 44 42 38 11 ] . Ethanolic extracts of the aerial parts of Eclipta prostrata (Asteraceae) neutralised the lethal activity of the venom of South American rattlesnake ( Crotalus durissus terrificus ), as well as the myotoxic and haemorrhagic effects of B. jararaca , B. jararacussu and Lachesis muta snake venoms when mixed in vitro before i.p. injection into adult Swiss mice [ 75 12 ] . Three plant compounds, wedelolactone, sitosterol and stigmasterol were able to neutralise lethal doses of the venom. Aqueous extracts of the plant inhibited the release of creatine kinase from isolated rat muscle exposed to the crude venom [ 75 ] . Wedelolactone reduced the myotoxic effect of crude venoms Crotalus viridis viridis (western rattlesnake) and Agkistrodon contortrix laticinctus (copperhead) and two phospholipase A 2 myotoxins, CVV myotoxin and ACL myotoxin, isolated from them [ 46 ] . Empirical use of Eclipta prostrata alcoholic extracts to treat crotalid envenomation are supported by these studies [ 12 ] . Eschweilera subglandulosa is a tree with smooth leathery leaves about 8 inches long [ 76 ] . The fruit is well liked by agouti [ 5 ] . This fact may explain its use, since after a bath the smell of its leaves may stay on the hunting dog. Jatropha curcas latex is applied to external wounds in Per and Indonesia [ 77 78 ] . The leaf bath is used for rash, bewitchment and poultices for sores in Trinidad [ 52 ] . Jatropha curcas leaf and bark contain glycosides, tannins, phytosterols, flavonoids and steroidal sapogenins [ 79 80 ] . The latex contains proteolytic enzymes and provides significant cicatrizant activity (wound healing) [ 78 ] . The sap inhibits growth of Candida albicans and Staphylococcus aureus [ 81 ] . The leaf decoction of Jatropha gossypifolia is used for bathing wounds [ 83 ] . The stem sap stops bleeding and itching of cuts and scratches [ 84 85 ] . The leaf bath is used for sores, sprains, rash and bewitchment in Latin America and the Caribbean [ 52 86 ] . Poultices are used for sores and pain in Trinidad [ 52 ] . These uses are similar to the ethnoveterinary use. Jatropha gossypifolia leaf contains histamine, apigenin, vitexin, isovitexin and tannins. The bark contains the alkaloid jatrophine and a lignan (jatrodien) is found in its stems [ 81 88 ] . The latex of Jatropha gossypifolia yielded two cyclic octapeptides (cyclogossine A and B) [ 85 89 ] . The use of Justicia secunda for rashes has been previously recorded [ 52 ] . Different species have yielded steroids, lignans, betaine, triterpenoids, coumarins, dihydrocoumarin, umbelliferone and 3-(2-hydroxyphenyl) propionic acid alkaloids and flavonoids [ 90 91 92 ] . Coumarins and flavonoids have anti-inflammatory properties [ 38 11 ] . Wounds on Wistar rats treated with organic and aqueous extracts of Justicia pectoralis showed intermediate swelling in comparison to wounds treated with coumarin isolated from the plant extract (least swelling) and the controls [ 93 ] . This study supported local usage for wound-healing properties. Throughout tropical Central and South America, leaves of Lepianthes peltata Miq. (Piperaceae) (syn. Pothomorphe peltata Miq.) are used as antiinflammatory, antipyretic, hepatoprotective and diuretic infusions and to treat external ulcers and local infections [ 94 ] . A cataplasm of the leaves of Lepianthes peltata is used by the Cuna and Choc Indians for various external ailments and is rubbed on the body to exterminate lice [ 25 95 81 ] . In South America leaves are used for inflammatory disorders and are warmed and rubbed with coconut ( Cocos nucifera ) or castor oil ( Ricinus communis ) and applied to any painful or swollen joints and inner body parts [ 94 54 96 97 98 65 99 ] . Lepianthes peltata plants contain alkaloids, carotenoids, anethol, chavicine, piperine and lignans [ 94 ] . S. aureus was partially inhibited by Lepianthes peltata . Lepianthes peltata methanolic extract had antioxidant activity attributed to the catechol derivative (4-nerolidylcatechol) [ 97 ] . Plants showed a significant analgesic effect lasting for 30 minutes [ 81 ] . The anti-inflammatory effectiveness of the methanol leaf extract supports this traditional use of Lepianthes peltata [ 94 ] . The plant's analgesic, antiinflammatory and antibacterial effects may help clear up any health problems of the dog that prevent it from successfully tracking a game animal. Momordica charantia is widely used in the Caribbean for various ailments [ 84 66 ] . Leaves rubbed in coconut oil ( Cocos nucifera ) are used for scabies and skin rashes in Eastern Nicaragua, the Caribbean and in the Philippines [ 100 101 110 ] . Aqueous and ethanolic extracts of Momordica charantia inhibit the growth of Escherichia coli , Sacrina lutea , Staphylococcus aureus , Pseudomonas aeruginos , Bacillus subtilis , Proteus species and Staphylococcus albus . Preliminary work showed activity against Salmonella paratyphi and Shigella dysenterae [ 87 ] . The Tacana of Bolivia use the heated leaves of Monstera sect. marcgraviospsis species for boils and a leaf poultice of Monstera subpinnata for leg pain, as a vesicant and to cauterize wounds [ 15 103 ] . Monstera species accumulate derivatives of caffeic acid [ 102 ] . Monstera pertusa stem fragments were carried in the Antilles as a charm to ward off poisonous snakes, and is applied with cotton to snakebite wounds [ 103 ] . Crushed leaves of Nicotiana tabacum are applied to wounds in Guatemala [ 63 ] . The steam vapour was a general cure-all in Latin America and the Caribbean [ 16 104 ] . Historically, powdered tobacco was burnt on the blade of a paddle as a propitiatory offering to the local boa snake ( Constrictor orophias ) [ 16 ] . The plant contains nicotine, malic and citric acids, phenolic acids (chlorogenic, quinic, nicotinic), flavonoids (rutoside), coumarins and enzymes [ 81 ] . Presumably the nicotine in the dog's nose would act as a stimulant. Ottonia ovata contains an isobutylamide, piperovatine and a piperovatine derivative [ 105 106 ] . Piperovatine promotes the flow of saliva and anaesthetises the tongue [ 106 ] . Passiflora quadrangularis leaf decoction is used by the Garfuna of Eastern Nicaragua for fevers, rashes and sores [ 50 ] . The leaf and branch decoction is used in Columbia in external baths for snakebites [ 139 ] . An extract of branches and leaves had moderate neutralizing ability against the haemorrhagic effect of Bothrops atrox venom in Columbia [ 35 ] . The plant contains passiflorene, nor-epinephrine, 5-hydroxytryptamine and flavonoids [ 107 50 ] . In Belize the crushed leaf of Petiveria alliacea is put on the dog's nose to improve its ability to follow a scent [ 109 ] . Kojoroot or Kudjuruk ( Petiveria alliacea ) is considered a charm and a medicine for aches, pain, snakebites and respiratory conditions in Dominica, Bolivia, Columbia, Peru and Eastern Nicaragua [ 16 96 53 108 ] . The plant can stimulate the phagocytosis activity of the reticulo-endothelelial system and has antibacterial effects [ 61 108 ] . The plant contains isoarborinol, isoarborinol-cinnamate and sulphide compounds, which give it a smell of onions or garlic [ 86 50 ] . The strong garlic smell may suggest the various uses of the plant (Doctrine of Signatures), however this aspect was not noted in the meticulous data compiled on Middle America [ 86 ] . It is difficult to assess which medicinal properties of the plant could help in making dogs more alert. Phyllanthus urinaria plant was used by Caribs with other plants in a bath against bad luck (called 'piai') [ 66 ] . Pharmacological activities of various compounds in some species of Phyllanthus include analgesic, antiinflammatory, antilipoxigenase, antiallergic, nitrosamina blocker, aldose reductase inhibitor, antiviral, mitochondrial ATPase inhibitor, phosphodiesterase inhibitor and cyclooxigenase inhibitor [ 111 ] . Other activities are hepatoprotective, phosphorilase and tirosine kinase inhibitor, phospholipase A 2 inhibitor and increased the survival of hepatocellular carcinoma harbouring animals [ 54 111 113 112 ] . The compound with hepatoprotective activity is triacontanol [ 114 ] . Several compounds found in Phyllanthus species, like flavonoids (quercetin, rutin), tannins (geraniin, furosin), benzenoids (ethyl gallate, methyl gallate) and phytosterols showed antinociceptive effects in mice or multiple mechanisms of action [ 111 115 ] . The flavonoids also have anti-inflammatory properties [ 38 11 ] . The hydroalcoholic extracts of four Phyllanthus species were 2 - 6 fold more active in causing antinociception than aspirin depending on the route of administration and the pain model used [ 115 ] . Phyllanthus amarus has antioxidant properties, reverses chromosomal alterations induced by genotoxic agents and has anticancer activity [ 112 ] . Active compounds may be flavonoids (quercetin, astragalin), ellagitannins (amarinic acid), hydrolysable tannins (phyllanthisiin D) [ 112 ] . The multiple plant compounds found in Phyllanthus species might help clear up any physiological condition that results in dogs having difficulty following game animals. Piper auritum , and Piper tuberculatum , are used against dermatological illnesses in Mexico [ 61 ] . In Puerto Rico and the Caribbean chewed leaves of Piper amalgo are put on bleeding cuts [ 100 66 ] . Caribs of Dominica considered Piper species to be charms [ 16 ] . Hunting dogs were rubbed with Piper species plant leaves when bathed in order to make them "good" in the chase [ 16 ] . Piper auritum leaf juice is applied topically to remove ticks and head lice in El Salvador and Ecuador respectively [ 92 ] . In Guatemala, Panama and Columbia the juice of crushed leaves of Piper species or the decoction of roots are drunk or used in baths for snakebites or rubbed onto the body as a snake repellent [ 63 95 139 ] . In Eastern Nicaragua and Jamaica Piper hispidum is used in remedies for colds, fever, stomach aches and for aches and pains [ 116 53 ] . In Trinidad, Puerto Rico and other Caribbean countries Piper amalgo leaf infusions are used as ritual baths or baths to perfume the body [ 52 16 ] . The chloroform extracts of branches of Piper auritum and Piper guineense inhibit growth of Candida albicans , Cladosporium cucumerinum and the pathogenic fungus Basidiobolus haptosporus [ 92 117 ] . These results indicate a possible use of this plant extract in the treatment of subcutaneous phycomycosis in humans and animals [ 117 ] . Piper species contain lignans, benzoic acid derivatives, flavonoids including the dihydrochalcones (asebogenin) and the alkaloid piplartine-dimer A [ 61 118 ] . Asebogenin may have antiplasmodial activity [ 118 ] . The piperamides (cepharadione A and B) from Piper auritum possess antifungal and anaesthetic properties [ 61 ] . Dogs may be bathed with various Piper species to remove external parasites. Pithecelobium unguis-cati is used as a febrifuge and for malaria in Guatemala and the Peruvian Amazon [ 119 120 ] . Hunters wrongly claimed that Pithecellobium unguis-cati was parasitic. It has claw-like tendrils that allow the species to climb other plants [ 66 ] . The Mosetene Indians in Bolivia use the crushed Renealmia alpinia plant mixed with water and rub this preparation over the dog's body to improve its hunting ability [ 108 ] . In Trinidad a leaf poultice or bath or root decoction is used on swellings, sprains, sores, wounds and for stomach pains and malnutrition [ 52 54 65 ] . The purple-red juice from the Renealmia alpinia berries is used to treat eye diseases. Renealmia alpinia plant contains diterpenes and proanthocyanins [ 65 121 ] . Decoctions or external baths of Renealmia alpinia rhizome are used by traditional healers for snakebites in the northwest region of Colombia and in Amazonian Ecuador [ 28 139 ] . An ethanolic extract of Renealmia alpinia rhizomes demonstrated moderate to full neutralising capacity of Bothrops atrox venom within 48 hours when it was i.p. injected into mice [ 68 ] . The neutralisation was attributed to antiphospholipase A 2 activity. Saccharum officinarum is used medicinally in Eastern Nicaragua and in the Caribbean for infections, chills, fever, rashes and sores [ 122 53 ] . Chlorogenic acid, ferulic acid and p-cumaric acid have been found in the plant [ 128 129 ] . Sambucus species were recorded in Egyptian papyri as being of ancient use [ 104 ] . Flower decoctions of Sambucus species are used for open sores and in baths as emollients; and leaves are used in poultices on bruises, wounds and sores in France, Spain, Turkey, Madeira and Porto Santo [ 123 124 125 ] . Plant compounds found in Sambucus simpsonii flower are caffeic acid, chlorogenic acid, mucilage, potassium nitrate and rutoside [ 50 ] . Some of these plant compounds have anti-inflammatory properties. Siparuma guianensis wood contains oxoaporphine alkaloids (liriodenine and cassamedine) [ 128 ] . The leaves contain an essential oil consisting of furanosesquiterpenes (mainly cruzerenones), myristicin (8%) and cruzerene (0.4%) [ 128 ] . Some alkaloids are immunostimulants at very low doses [ 39 ] . Solanum americanum leaf decoction is used for fevers by the Mosetene Indians in Bolivia [ 108 ] . Solanum species is used in Guatemala and by the Pilag in Argentina to treat boils, dermatitis, as a cicatrizant and analgesic [ 130 ] . Solanum torvum and Solanum mammosum leaf juices are rubbed onto afflicted areas for athlete's foot in Belize [ 109 ] . Solanum nigrescens leaf decoction was suggested as an effective treatment for vaginal candidiasis [ 55 108 ] . Solanum americanum leaf extracts were active against Microsporum species, Epidermophyton floccosum , Trichophyton species and Cryptococcus neoformans and showed intraperitoneal subacute toxicity in mice [ 127 131 108 ] . Vernonia scorpioides (syn. Cyrtocymura cincta ) is used in Trinidad as an aphrodisiac and against witchcraft [ 52 ] . Vernonia species are used worldwide to stop bleeding, allay inflammation and in the treatment of stomach aches, asthma, intestinal parasites and for protection against snakebites [ 51 132 133 134 82 92 135 ] . The use of Vernonia scorpioides for mange has been recorded [ 50 ] . Vernonia scorpioides aerial parts and flowers and leaves of Vernonia megaphylla (syn. Eirmocephala megaphylla ) contain sesquiterpene lactones, glaucolides and piptocarphols. The fungicidal activity of Vernonia scorpioides against Penicillium citrinum and Aspergillus alutaceus has been attributed to the sequiterpene lactones in the stalks and leaves [ 135 ] . Sesquiterpene lactones have immunostimulatory effects [ 40 ] . Vernonia scorpioides roots contain costunolide and eudesmanes [ 136 92 137 ] . A Xanthosoma species has been tentatively identified in an Aztec herbal [ 103 ] . A Xanthosoma species called "chou poivre" was rubbed on the body by the Caribs in Dominica as a charm before going to war [ 103 ] . Another species called "chou froidure" was used as an infusion for chills [ 103 ] . Xanthosoma auriculatum leaf sap is used in Brazil for severe wounds and skin diseases [ 103 ] . Xanthosoma brasiliense and Xanthosoma undipes probably contain irritating compounds that irritate mucous membranes [ 138 129 ] . Xanthosoma brasiliense belongs to the Araceae family, which generally contain glycoflavones, flavonols and proanthocyanidins. Xiphidium caeruleum leaves were rubbed on the feet and knees of children in Trinidad and Tobago that were learning to walk [ 52 ] . Walkfast or corrimiento (Spanish correr: to run) is used to help hunting dogs in Trinidad run fast and "brighten them up" [ 3 ] . In Panama and Columbia Xiphidium caeruleum ground stem infusion or decoction is drunk as an antiemetic and the leaf infusion is used externally for skin disorders [ 107 129 ] . Xiphidione and other 9-phenylphenalenone pigments are found in Xiphidium caeruleum [ 107 129 ] . Conclusion It is suggested that the medicinal plants exert a physiological action on the hunter or his dog. Plant use is based on odour and plant morphological characteristics. Plant use is embedded in a complex cultural context based on the ancient beliefs of indigenous Amerindians [ 1 ] . Columbian healers also use ethanolic extracts of plants for snakebites, prepare snakebite remedies in the week before Easter and choose plants according to the Doctrine of Signatures [ 139 ] . The cultural basis of the plant use does not mean that the plants have no effect. Some of the plants mentioned contain chemicals that may explain the ethnomedicinal and ethnoveterinary use. For instance some of the plants influence the immune system or like Lepianthes are effective against internal and external parasites. Plant baths with species such as Lepianthes and Phyllanthus that have compounds showing analgesic, antiinflammatory and antibacterial effects may contribute to the health and well being of the hunting dogs. The multiple plant compounds found in Phyllanthus species merit further investigation. Plant species that show potential efficacy against skin conditions are Momordica , Piper , Solanum and Vernonia . Jatropha and Justicia species contain compounds with potential in wound healing. Eclipta prostrata and its constituents (wedelolactone, stigmaterol and sitosterol) showed good potential against crotalid venoms. The carcinogenic risk cited in the literature on aristolochic acid [ 61 ] needs to be evaluated versus its potential benefit as an emergency medicine for snake and scorpion bites. Competing interests None declared. Background The increasing research in Complementary and Alternative Medicine (CAM) and the importance placed on practicing evidence-based CAM require ready access to the CAM scientific literature. The optimal retrieval of a literature search in biomedicine depends on the appropriate use of Medical Subject Headings (MeSH), descriptors and keywords among authors, indexers, and investigators [ 1 ] . It has been recognized that available online databases covering CAM differed in their thesaurus construction and indexing procedures, making effective and efficient searching difficult [ 2 ] . The controlled vocabulary for biomedicine has been developed and continuously updated by the National Library of Medicine (NLM). It is referred to as the NLM Medical Subject Headings (MeSH). The purpose of MeSH is to provide uniformity and consistency to the indexing of the biomedical literature [ 3 ] . With the recent development of CAM on PubMed [ 4 5 ] , MeSH descriptors for CAM have been expanded. As of December 2002, there were a total of 21,973 MeSH descriptors found in the NLM Medical Subject headings - Annotated Alphabetic list, 2002 [ 6 ] . While the National Center for Complementary and Alternative Medicine (NCCAM) has identified over 360 healing modalities, MeSH currently included only 83 descriptors for CAM, arranged hierarchically under the sets of terms in Complementary Therapies [ 7 ] . In 2001, there were only 41 MeSH descriptors for CAM, arranged under Alternative Medicine [ 8 ] . Cross-references have been available to assist searchers in finding the most appropriate MeSH Heading, for example, Alternative Medicine see Complementary Therapies [ 9 ] . Therapeutic Cults was the MeSH descriptor between 1963 and 1993. It was only in 1994 that the term Alternative Medicine was implemented in the NLM MeSH thesaurus. Medicine, Tibetan Traditional was the only new MeSH descriptor added under Complementary Therapies in the 2003 NLM Medical Subject Headings [ 10 ] . Other biomedical databases that include CAM literature, such as CINAHL - Cumulative Index to Nursing and Allied Health Literature [ 11 ] and MANTIS - Manual, Alternative and Natural Therapy Index System [ 12 ] , also use MeSH as their standard thesaurus with a list of supplement terms in their subject areas. The CINAHL medical subject headings include also a broad range of terms for research methodology including, for example, 12 subject headings for validity [ 13 ] . The main purpose of database indexing is to enhance the yield and accuracy of search results. Indexing is done either manually or generated by computer programs. Indexers carry out indexing manually in MEDLINE, CINAHL, and MANTIS according to their own perceptions and understanding of the study contents. In comparison, computer programs generate indexing in the Web of Science database. These programs pool words or phrases and group them by frequency of use [ 14 ] . Computer generation of keywords is referred to as semantic indexing while assigning controlled vocabulary by humans is referred to as analytic indexing [ 15 16 ] . Web of Science provides Author Keywords and Keywords Plus. Author Keywords are taken from a list of keywords that the authors provided in their papers, Keywords Plus are taken from references cited by authors. Therefore, Keywords Plus often include important terms not listed in the study title, abstract, or list of author keywords [ 17 ] . Several studies on indexing practices have focused on areas other than complementary and alternative medicine. A recent study looked at the process of indexing and retrieving medical information for populations of different ethnicity in several major health-related databases. The researchers found that information might not be obtained if the health professionals were not familiar with the indexing policy. They noted that databases were not in agreement about the definition and use of most of their search terms [ 18 ] . Another study compared 28 articles that happened to be indexed twice. Comparing the two indexers, the investigators found significant differences in depth of indexing (e.g., the prevalence of major and minor descriptors, check-tags, and subheadings) and choice of subject headings [ 19 ] . This study illustrated that indexing practices are often inconsistent and little is known about indexing and retrieving information from databases on CAM. Searching databases for a CAM topic can be confusing and ineffective if terms are not used correctly. If authors are reporting studies without using standard controlled vocabulary, indexers might not assign the appropriate terminology to represent the studies. Indexers are constrained further by the specifications of the controlled vocabulary [ 20 ] . In particular, a relatively small number of descriptors pertaining to CAM are contained in the controlled vocabulary [ 21 ] , thus limiting indexers further in their choice of assigning specific subject terms. The objective of this study was to compare indexing practices in four selected databases in relation to key terms used by authors and search terms used by investigators to locate studies on the validity of spinal palpation as a model for CAM searches. We posed four questions. 1. What are the key terms used by authors in the fields of chiropractic, physical therapy, allopathic and osteopathic medicine in defining the validity of spinal palpatory diagnostic tests in patients with spinal neuromuscular dysfunction? 2. What MeSH terms and descriptors are available to indexers in different databases on the subject of validity of spinal palpation? 3. How frequently do indexers assign appropriate MeSH terms or descriptors to represent the terms used by authors in titles and abstracts? 4. What are the key terms used by investigators to conduct a literature search on the validity of spinal palpation? We investigated the frequency of use by authors, indexers, and investigators, of search terms for validity, spinal palpation and musculoskeletal dysfunction. We evaluated and compared analytic manual indexing to computer program generated semantic indexing. Methods Develop Key Concepts and Identify Search Terms This study was conducted at the Susan Samueli Center for Complementary and Alternative Medicine (University of California, Irvine) between 2001 and 2002. A multidisciplinary team of investigators including researchers, clinicians, and a health sciences librarian undertook this study. Our research question was: "What is the validity of spinal palpatory procedures for diagnosis in patients with spinal neuromuscular dysfunction?" The first step for conducting a literature search was to break down the research question into four key concepts: 1. validity/validity assessment, 2. spine 3. palpation procedures 4. neuromusculoskeletal dysfunction. The multidisciplinary team identified MeSH terms, descriptors, and potentially related keywords for these four key concepts [see Table 1]. We then verified the MeSH terms [mh] using the National Library of Medicine Medical Subject Headings-Annotated Alphabetic List, 2001, which was the current thesaurus at the inception of the study. In addition to MeSH, we used subject headings [sh] in the CINAHL online thesaurus and the descriptors [de] in the online MANTIS thesaurus to prepare searches in other online databases. Searching and Selecting Studies for Comparison Using the identified search terms listed in Table 1, we conducted multiple search strategies. The search in general can be stated as follow: Search queries #1 (accuracy OR accurate OR analysis of variance OR construct validity see Table 1: column #1: Validity terms) AND (cervical vertebrae OR cervical OR lumbar vertebrae OR lumbar see Table 1: column #2: Spinal terms) AND (diagnosis OR manual OR manipulat* see Table 1: column #3: Procedure terms) AND (apophyseal OR asymmetry OR back pain see Table 1: column #4: Neuromuscular Dysfunction terms.) Search queries #2 (galvanic skin response OR measure* OR pain measurement see Table 1: column 1, #5: Validity assessment terms) AND (cervical vertebrae OR cervical OR lumbar vertebrae OR lumbar see Table 1: column #2: Spinal terms) AND (diagnosis OR manual OR manipulat* see Table 1: column #3: Procedure terms) AND (apophyseal OR asymmetry OR back pain see Table 1: column #4: Neuromuscular Dysfunction terms.) Search strategy Search queries #1 OR #2 We began the search in PubMed and continued in the other three databases. We proceeded with hand searching and contacting experts and arrived at 4,945 citations including overlapping and non-relevant studies. Inclusion and exclusion criteria were used to identify relevant studies. Inclusion criteria consisted of a document pertaining to manual spinal palpation procedures, measurement of validity or accuracy, primary research study published in a peer reviewed journal in any language, and made available between January 1, 1966 and September 30, 2002. Exclusion criteria consisted of a document pertaining to non-manual procedures, lack of sufficient tests or data, and anecdotal, speculative or editorial reports. A thorough review of titles and abstracts resulted in the identification of 38 unique studies that were indexed in at least one of the four selected databases (see Appendix I [ Additional file: 1] for citations). Five of these 38 studies were indexed in all four databases [ 22 23 24 25 26 ] . In order to compare the use of CAM terminology among authors and indexers, we focused the study on the standard practice of using MeSH among various databases. Based on the subject area of the research question, and the availability of two institutions library database subscriptions, we were able to evaluate databases like PubMed MEDLINE, MANTIS, and CINAHL in comparison to a semantic database, Web of Science. Additional file 1 Click here for file Databases Selection PubMed MEDLINE is the most widely used and comprehensive scientific literature database in biomedicine and it has a subset focusing on complementary medicine. MANTIS, a specialized database, was selected because it covers subject areas of interest to the research question including osteopathic medicine, chiropractic, and manual medicine. CINAHL was included because the database covers literature related to nursing and allied health, including physical therapy, radiologic technology, occupational therapy and social service/health care. The thesaurus of MANTIS and CINAHL are based on MeSH with supplements for certain subject areas. For comparison, we added one database, Web of Science, which relies on computer generated indexing terms (i.e. Keywords Plus) in addition to key terms provided by authors (i.e. Author Keywords). Similar to the other selected databases, Web of Science covers a wide area of life sciences. Compilation of Key Terms We verified how many of the four databases actually indexed each of the 38 studies. We downloaded and imported the citations with title, abstracts, and controlled vocabulary into EndNote. This resulted in 38 titles with 37 abstracts. PubMed indexed 29 studies, MANTIS 28 studies, CINAHL 13 studies, and Web of Science 26 studies. Across databases, we eliminated overlapping abstracts but retained the controlled vocabulary. We then used the EndNote search field to identify the key terms/controlled vocabulary in titles, abstracts, and indexes. We calculated and tabulated the frequency of search terms that were used by authors and indexers. The tabulation for validity and validity assessment terms is shown in Table 2, for spinal terms in Table 3, for procedural terms in Table 4, and for neuromusculoskeletal dysfunction terms in Table 5. The controlled vocabulary of the five studies that were indexed in all four databases is provided in Table 6. For the purposes of this study, we printed in "bold" the controlled vocabulary and capitalized the first character of each term. The free key terms were set in quotation marks. A "wild card" search is represented by a truncation symbol, e.g., palpat* will include palpation, palpated, palpatory, etc. Results Validity and Validity Assessment Terms The frequency of use of validity and validity assessment terms is presented in Table 2. The most frequent validity term used by authors was "accuracy", "accurate" (3/38 titles, 10/37 abstracts). Web of Science generated "Diagnostic-accuracy" as Keywords Plus (1/26). "Accuracy" was not a controlled vocabulary in the selected analytic databases. Even though Validation Studies is a publication type in MEDLINE, we did not find any study from our initial search result classified in this category. CINAHL provided a cross-reference to see Validity as a search term for subject heading. We found 3/13 studies indexed either under Criterion-Related Validity or Validation Studies in CINAHL. Authors used various terms containing "valid" in 7/38 titles and 6/37 abstracts, while MEDLINE and MANTIS did not have the actual terms like "valid", "validation", and "validity" as controlled vocabulary. Web of Science indexed 2/26 studies for "validity", i.e. Keywords Plus "Validation, Disorders" and Author Keyword "Predictive validity". Reproducibility of Results was the most frequently assigned validity term in MANTIS (13/28 studies) and MEDLINE (7/29 studies) even though Reproducibility of Results is a reliability term. Among the 13 studies in CINAHL, we did not find a study indexed as a subject heading under Reproducibility of Results . Instead, CINAHL indexed 10/13 studies using various validity terms from the extensive list of validity indexing terms available in the CINAHL thesaurus. Predictive Value of Tests was the next most frequently assigned validity term by NLM indexers (6/29 MEDLINE studies). While MANTIS and CINAHL also contain Predictive Value of Tests in their thesaurus, the term was indexed only once in these two databases. Web of Science listed "Predictive value" once as Author Keywords. Authors used Sensitivity and Specificity in 2/38 titles and 7/37 abstracts, compared to 3/29 studies indexed in MEDLINE, none in MANTIS, 2/13 in CINHAL, and 2/26 in Web of Science, as Author Keywords listed individually. Several of our validity search terms, such as Content Validity , Convergent Validity , Discriminant Validity , and Face Validity were CINAHL but not MEDLINE or MANTIS Subject Headings. We did not find authors or indexers using these terms. Similarly, Likelihood Functions , Reference Standards , and ROC Curve were Medical Subject Headings for MEDLINE and MANTIS, but none were used by indexers in the analytic databases. Reference Values , a Medical Subject Heading for all three selected databases, was the only controlled vocabulary used by authors and indexers that was not included as a search term. Instead, we used "Gold Standard" as keyword and Reference Standards as the Medical Subject Headings in our search [See Table 2]. "Gold Standard" was used once in an abstract; neither authors nor indexers ever used Reference Standards . The most frequent validity assessment terms was used by authors were "measurement" or Pain Measurement as well as Radiography . Indexers also assigned these terms in all four databases [See Table 2]. Spinal Terms The frequency of spinal terms is presented in Table 3. The spinal term most frequently used by authors and indexers was Spine or "Spinal". Fourteen of 38 titles and 21/37 abstracts contained Spine or "Spinal". MEDLINE indexed Spine (or spinal as an adjective) in 15/29 studies, MANTIS in 8/28, and CINAHL in 4/13 studies. Web of Science generated 8/26 studies as Author Keywords and Keywords Plus. Of these eight studies, two were found as Keywords Plus, i.e. "Spinal Manipulation" and "Lumbar Spine". Authors and indexers preferred Cervical Vertebrae to Neck. Cervical Vertebrae (or cervical as an adjective) was used in 10/38 titles and in 15/37 abstracts, and indexed in 8/29 studies in MEDLINE, 7/28 in CINAHL, and 2/26 in Web of Science as Author Keywords. In comparison, Neck was never used by authors in titles and in only 5/37 abstracts. It was indexed in 5/29 studies in MEDLINE, 2/28 in MANTIS, 2/13 in CINAHL, and none were generated in Web of Science. Thoracic Vertebrae (or thoracic as an adjective) was used infrequently by authors and indexers. Palpation Procedural Terms The frequency of palpation procedural terms is presented in Table 4. The most frequent palpation procedural terms used by authors as well as indexers were Palpation or "palpat*". These term were used frequently (7/38 titles, 19/37 abstracts, 11/29 studies in MEDLINE, 16/28 in MANTIS, 6/13 in CINAHL, and 4/26 in Web of Science as Author Keywords). Authors frequently used palpation procedural terms that were not in the controlled vocabulary, e.g., "manual exam*", "manual diagnosis", or "manual tests" (3/38 titles and 9/37 abstracts), and "manipulat*" (2/38 titles, 7/37 abstracts). From the controlled vocabulary for manipulation, authors often chose Spinal Manipulation rather than Chiropractic , Orthopedic , or Osteopathic Manipulation . While MEDLINE indexed Manipulation, Orthopedic as the only manipulation term, MANTIS indexed Chiropractic , Orthopedic , and Spinal Manipulation . Neither authors nor indexers used Manipulation, Osteopathic . This was also the only palpation procedural term used in the search strategies that was not used by authors or indexers. Indexers in MEDLINE, MANTIS and CINAHL selected Diagnosis most frequently as a palpation procedural term (17/29 studies in MEDLINE, 23/28 in MANTIS, and 7/13 in CINAHL). Diagnosis was usually indexed in combination with a neuromuscular dysfunction term as a subheading. While Physical Examination was not included in our search strategies, authors occasionally used it in the abstracts. MANTIS indexed Physical Examination in 15/28 studies compared to MEDLINE (5/29), CINAHL (5/13) and Web of Science (3/26 as Author Keywords and Keywords Plus). Neuromusculoskeletal Dysfunction Terms The frequency of neuromuscular/musculoskeletal dysfunction terms is presented in Table 5. Of the 22 dysfunction terms used in the search strategies, only Low Back Pain and Back Pain were used relatively frequently by authors in titles (5/38) and in abstracts (8/37). Also the four selected databases indexed these terms with highest frequency (6/29 studies in MEDLINE, 12/28 in MANTIS, 4/13 in CINAHL, and 4/26 as Author Keywords and Keyword Plus in Web of Science.) While authors used "mobility" and "dysfunction" relatively frequently, these terms were not part of the controlled vocabulary in MEDLINE, MANTIS, and CINAHL. Motion , a controlled vocabulary, was used by authors in 7/37 abstracts but was not indexed in MEDLINE and CINAHL. Three of 28 studies in MANTIS indexed Motion as a descriptor. Web of Science indexed Motion twice as Keywords Plus and once as Author Keywords. Subluxation , a widely used term in chiropractic medicine and a controlled vocabulary in MANTIS and CINAHL, was not used by authors in titles and abstracts but frequently indexed in MANTIS (9/28 studies). Of the 22 neuromusculoskeletal dysfunction terms used in the search strategies, 6 were never used by authors or indexers (apophyseal, blockage, hypomobility, manipulable lesion, motion unit, and quality of motion.) While "motion palpation" was not used as a combined search term, MANTIS indexed Palpation, Motion in 9/28 studies. Authors used "motion palpation" in 3/38 titles and 3/37 abstracts. "Motion palpation" was not a MeSH or subject heading, and therefore it was not indexed in MEDLINE or CINAHL. Comparison of Five Studies Indexed in all Four Databases Of the 38 studies, five studies were indexed in all four databases as shown in Table 6. The comparison of validity terms showed that two of these five studies included a validity term in the title [ 23 26 ] , and two studies had a validity term in the abstract [ 22 25 ] . The study by Kristiansson et al. [ 24 ] did not provide a validity term in either title or abstract, but PubMed and MANTIS indexed validity terms for this study. PubMed and CINAHL did not pick up the validity term that appeared in the abstract by Gracovetsky et al. [ 22 ] MANTIS recognized and indexed the validity terms for all five studies. CINAHL indexed two of the five studies with validity terms [ 23 25 ] . In Web of Science, three of the five studies included Author Keywords for validity [ 22 25 26 ] . Three studies, published after 1996, generated Keywords Plus from the references cited by the authors, but only one study included a validity term [ 22 ] . All five studies included a neuromuscular dysfunction term in the title. Authors included Back Pain in the title and abstract in three studies [ 22 24 25 ] and Neck Pain in the title and abstract in one study [ 26 ] . One author used "thoracic end-play" in the title and no other neuromuscular dysfunction term in the abstract [ 23 ] . All four databases indexed Back Pain, Low Back Pain , and Neck Pain in the four respective studies [ 22 24 25 26 ] . In Web of Science, these terms were provided by the authors as Author Keywords and not generated from Keywords Plus. Discussion Current Status of Standard Glossaries in Manual Medicine In 1975 the National Institutes of Health sponsored a multidisciplinary research conference on status of spinal manipulative therapy [ 27 ] . The orthopedic, osteopathic, and chiropractic representatives reported on the understanding and use of the terminology in each respective profession. There was no consensus within or amongst professions at that time. Searching the Internet for orthopedic terminology for professionals, we located many glossaries designed to facilitate patient comprehension of orthopedic terms. For example, the American Academy of Orthopaedic Surgeons provides a glossary of orthopedic diagnostic tests online which seems to be designed for patients [ 28 ] . At this web site, we did not identify a glossary of standard terminology for orthopedics. The osteopathic profession developed a standardized Glossary of Osteopathic Terminology in 1981 that has been updated annually ever since [ 29 ] . The online version is available at the AOAnet Yearbook and Directory [ 30 ] . The osteopathic literature database OSTMED went online October 1, 2002 [ 31 ] . For standard indexing practice, the database uses the NLM MeSH terms and about 70 terms that are uniquely osteopathic, called Osteopathic Subject Headings (OSH). To further assist in accessing the osteopathic literature database, Manipulation, Osteopathic became a MeSH term in 2002 [ 6 ] . The Chiropractic Library Consortium (CLIBCON) published the first list of chiropractic thesaurus (CHIROSH) in 1979 to improve access to the chiropractic literature. The consortium produced the first version of the Index to Chiropractic Literature in print in 1980 and added the online version in 1985. The standard indexing practice is based on NLM MeSH and CHIROSH [ 32 ] . Chiropractic librarians but not the chiropractic practitioners use this CHIROSH thesaurus. Presently there does not seem to be a universally accepted glossary of terms in the chiropractic profession [ 33 ] . In recent years, PubMED MEDLINE articles that were submitted by publishers do not contain MeSH vocabulary. This increasingly common situation contributes to the data retrieval problems that we have presented here and furthers the argument for authors to use controlled vocabulary or commonly understood terminology in the titles and abstracts of their publications in order to facilitate retrieval of their studies by key terms. In the field of CAM, semantic indexing might be more useful than analytic indexing because keyword indexing is generated by computer programs that pool words or phrases used by authors at least twice. For instance, if the author mentioned subluxation at least twice in the title or abstract, the term will be indexed regardless of professional agreement about the definition of the term. Strengths and Limitations of the Controlled Vocabulary and Keywords In our study, the limitations of semantic indexing in Web of Science produced the lowest yield of relevant studies. While Web of Science indexed 26/38 studies, only a few of these had been retrieved by the search strategy. Instead, we arrived at the 26 studies by individually verifying the 38 studies that we knew to exist by using author name and title words. Of the 26 studies indexed in Web of Science, nine had been generated with both Author Keywords and Keywords Plus, and six studies with Author Keywords only. Web of Science did not generate any keywords for 11/26 studies. If investigators relied on searching by Keyword Plus, the search strategy might miss many potentially relevant studies. At the same time, if investigators are not familiar with the terms used by authors, a search strategy might miss relevant studies as well. In Web of Science, Author Keywords have only been available for search since 1991. This limits users' ability to find relevant literature prior to 1991. A search of earlier years has to rely on title word searches. It is likely because of this limitation, we found relatively few Author Keywords or Keywords Plus for our four search concepts. For databases that utilize analytic indexing, like MEDLINE, the NLM Medical Subject Headings Section staff continually revises and updates the MeSH vocabulary. While there were major changes in the 2002 NLM MeSH thesaurus for CAM, the current 2003 edition added only one CAM therapeutic modality. It would be helpful if investigators, information specialists and CAM practitioners become more active in contributing to the selection process of CAM descriptors in NLM MeSH and other database descriptors. Individual subscribers and subscribing institutions as well, have significant influence on the modifications and updating processes of databases. The NLM Web site has a page for suggesting MeSH changes with a one or two-sentence statement, the reason for the change, and one or two authoritative citations [ 34 ] . Since the NLM Medical Subject Headings are the standard controlled vocabulary for the allied health and biomedicine, investigators and authors in the fields of osteopathic medicine, chiropractic and physical medicine should take the opportunity to establish consistent terminology in the field of validity of spinal palpation for neuromuscular dysfunction. We recognize the difficulties of adding new descriptors and updating the existing controlled vocabulary because searching for a new concept requires a dynamic thesaurus while searching retrospectively requires stability and continuity [ 35 ] . Fortunately, the National Library of Medicine implements changes to the MeSH thesaurus in MEDLINE retrospectively. Conclusions Searching databases on CAM related topics is challenging due to the diversity in the use of controlled vocabulary and indexing procedures in different databases. Collaboration is needed among indexers, authors, investigators and information specialists to develop standard terminology in CAM. Furthermore, database vendors should augment their control vocabulary in CAM, particularly in the fields of manual medicine. A standard terminology then could be used and referred to by investigators in conducting their search strategies, and authors when writing titles, abstracts and submitting keywords for publications. As the CAM literature grows, dissemination and knowledge of the controlled vocabulary will become even more important. Competing Interests The authors of this study did not have competing interests with this study. None of the authors received reimbursement fees, funding, or salary from an organization that may in any way gain or lose financially from the publication of this paper in the past five years. Authors' Contributions LM conceived of the study, designed and carried out the searches, analyzed the search outcomes and the controlled vocabulary, researched the context of this study, drafted and finalized the manuscript. SR participated in the design of the study, filtered the search results, participated in researching the context of this study, and assisted in drafting and finalizing the manuscript. WN coordinated the study, provided search terms, reviewed and filtered search outcomes, and assisted in drafting the manuscript. VD provided search terms, reviewed and filtered search outcomes, provided essential comments and approved the final manuscript. MS was the content expert in osteopathic medicine. He provided search terms, reviewed and filtered search outcomes, provided essential comments and approved the manuscript. AA was the content expert in chiropractic. He provided search terms, reviewed and filtered search outcomes, and approved the final manuscript. SM provided search terms, reviewed and filtered search outcomes, reviewed and approved the manuscript. Introduction Competition in California in the 1980s: a case study The implementation of selective contracting in California in 1982 offers a unique natural experiment to study the response of hospitals to changes in the nature of competition. Unlike other health care markets, in which the change from quality to price based competition was gradual, driven by continuously increasing penetration of managed care, and often time confounded by other secular trends, the California legislation changed market conditions very rapidly for all hospitals in the state by permitting all health plans for the first time to contract with only a subset of hospitals. It thus allows a pre/post study design: hospitals resource allocation decisions during the quality competition regime (pre period) can be compared to decisions made during the price competition regime (post period). This natural experiment allows us to test the hypothesis that changes in the nature of competition are more likely to be associated with a shift of resources from clinical to hotel activities (and a concomitant deterioration in mortality outcomes) in more competitive hospital markets. As the level of hospital competition has not changed during the period (the Herfindahl-Hirschman Index (HHI) remained stable in all markets), this test is limited to the change in the nature of competition and is not confounded by the impact of changes in the level of competition on resource allocation decisions. During the same time period, California hospitals were also subject for the first time to price regulation, due to implementation of the Medicare PPS. While PPS also provided hospitals with incentives to lower their costs, it did so in a distinctively different manner than price competition. The PPS set the price per discharge hospitals were paid, thus creating incentives to lower costs, irrespective of market structure (7). The intensity of price based competition, on the other hand, is highly sensitive to the competitiveness of the hospital market. The analytical strategy of this paper is based on this distinction. Hospital competition, quality, resource allocation and health outcomes Competition focused on prices, as is often the case in markets dominated by managed care, creates incentives to increase efficiency and possibly curtail resource use. With the exception of possible increases in administrative activities designed to contain costs in other areas (e.g. billing and utilization review) or to increase marketing efforts, such incentives to cut costs are likely to affect all aspects of hospital activities. Hospitals may also compete on quality, both quality of medical services and quality of hotel services and amenities. The importance of competition for quality is likely to be greater in markets in which hospitals compete for patients directly, as they do for all fee-for-service patients and for those enrolled in HMOs that offer a choice of hospitals within their market. Furthermore, to the extent that HMOs make their contracting decisions based on beneficiary hospital preferences, perceptions of quality are important competitive tools. Competition for quality [ 1 ] , unlike competition for price [ 2 ] , may lead to increased costs. Furthermore, it may affect clinical and hotel services differently. In markets where patients' choice of hospitals are increasingly important, hospitals are likely to compete more on quality attributes that patients observe and value. Given the difficulty that patients have in directly determining the quality of medical care they receive, and the relative ease with which they can evaluate the quality of hotel services (e.g. condition of the facility, quality of food) hospitals face incentives to shift resources from clinical activities to amenities. On the other hand, if patients rely on their physician's recommendations in choosing hospitals [ 8 ] , and to the degree that physicians can assess clinical quality, albeit imperfectly, hospitals are faced with counter incentives, incentives that would promote resource use in clinical activities rather than hotel services. As a result, hospitals may face conflicting incentives: incentives to maintain or enhance the quality of hotel services on the one hand, and incentives to maintain activities that contribute to the quality of clinical care and health outcomes on the other. The actual choices that hospitals make about resource allocation depend on the relative strength of these opposing incentives. A model of changes in resource allocation As the main hypothesis of interest is that the change in the nature of competition was associated with changes in hospital resource allocations, the model we hypothesize allows the marginal effects of market and hospital characteristics (X t ) on resource allocation (Y t ), as measured by the coefficients in a regression model ( t ), to vary over time: (1) Y t = t + t X t + t The models we estimated were difference models of the form (2) Y = + * X 0 + t * X + where is the difference between year t and the base year, indicated by t = 0. From (2) it follows that t , the vector of coefficients multiplying the change variables, measures the marginal effect of the variable in the end year, while , the vector of coefficients multiplying the level variables, measures the change in the marginal effect. The marginal relationship in year 0 is given by 0 = t - .. Methods Sample The initial sample included all 338 acute care hospitals in California that were in operation during both 1982 and 1989. Of those, 18 (5.3%) were excluded from the resource allocation analyses and 8 (2.4%) were excluded from the mortality analyses, because of incomplete data. Data sources Financial, ownership and utilization data were obtained from the Hospital Annual Financial Disclosure Reports, filed annually by all California hospitals with the Office of Statewide Health Planning and Development (OSHPD). Risk adjusted mortality data were obtained from the Medicare Hospital Information Report published by the Health Care Financing Administration [ 9 ] . Variable definitions I. Resource allocation variables Resource allocation was measured by expenditures per adjusted discharge. Adjusted discharges are a composite measure of input designed to account for both inpatient discharges and outpatient visits, using the methodology developed by the American Hospital Association. Expenditures per adjusted discharge were calculated separately for three categories: clinical, hotel and administrative services. Expenditures were aggregated by cost center, with each cost center assigned to one of the three services. The table in the Additional File: Appendixlists all hospital cost centers and their assignment to hotel, clinical and administrative categories. The dependent variables in the resource allocation analyses were defined as the differences in expenditures per adjusted discharge, between 1989 and 1982, for each of the three categories. II. Quality variables The dependent variables for the analyses of quality of clinical care were excess death rates from all causes and from 4 specific medical conditions that have relatively high death rates: acute myocardial infarction, congestive heart failure, pneumonia and stroke. We included in the analyses measures based on cause specific mortality in addition to overall mortality because prior studies [ 10 ] have shown that these measures tend to be uncorrelated, and that hospitals performing well in one clinical area do not necessarily perform well in others. Measures based on overall mortality may therefore be biased towards zero, showing less variation compared with cause specific measures. Excess mortality was defined as the difference between the observed mortality rate for the hospital and a predicted, risk adjusted mortality rate. Observed and predicted mortality rates were obtained from the Medicare Hospital Reports [ 9 ] . They are based on Medicare discharges and include all deaths within 30 days of admission, irrespective of the location of death. The risk adjustment methodology used by the Health Care Financing Administration, incorporates individual patients' age, gender, specific diagnoses and comorbidities, admission source, emergency or elective admission and the patient's risk group based on hospitalizations during the preceding 6 months [ 9 ] . III. Independent variables Competition was measured by the Herfindahl-Hirschman Index (HHI), defined as the sum of squared market shares of all hospitals competing in the same area. Hospital market areas and the HHI were calculated based on all payer zip code level patient flows, as described in Zwanziger et al. [ 11 ] . To control for financial pressures hospitals may have been experiencing in addition to competition, we included variables measuring bad debt and charity as percent of total revenues and percent occupancy. To control for potential economies of scale the estimated models included total clinical standard units of measures reported in the California Financial Disclosure Reports. Ownership indicator variables included for-profit, not-for profit public, and not-for profit district ownership. The omitted category was private not-for profit hospitals. Teaching status was defined as hospitals with some residents. All payer DRG-based case mix index was included to account for differences in patients' severity. Median family income measured for the hospital's zip code area was included to capture demand effects and as a proxy for cross sectional wage variations. Analyses We estimated regression models in which change in expenditures per adjusted discharge and excess mortality in 1989 were the dependent variables. Because all models were heteroskedastic, all reported tests of significance are based on White's robust standard errors [ 12 ] . The Ramsey RESET test for specification errors [ 13 ] was applied to all models to rule out the need for non-linear and interaction terms. The mortality models were weighted by the inverse of the standard error for the predicted mortality rate, to account for differences across hospitals in the accuracy of the excess mortality measures, which are due to differences in sample sizes [ 14 ] . Since initial analyses indicated different associations (different s) for for-profit and non-profit hospitals, we estimated fully interacted models, in which all variables were interacted with for-profit status. The hypotheses of significant marginal effect were therefore tested for the non-profit hospitals by a t test of the main effect and for the for-profit hospital by an F test of the linear restriction that the sum of the coefficients of the main and interaction effect are zero. Additional file Appendix: Assignment of cost centers to clinical, hotel and administrative categories Click here for file Results Description of sample hospitals Table 1presents descriptive statistics for the hospitals included in the study. The majority of hospitals (52.6%) were private non-profit with the second largest group (26.0%) being for-profit institutions. Fifteen point four percent were teaching hospitals. The average hospital size did not change significantly over the 1982-1989 period, remaining at 190-200 beds. Occupancies declined significantly, from an average of 62.3% to 55.2%, and inpatient case mix increased significantly from 1.17 to 1.27, indicating that hospitals were treating sicker and more expensive patients at the end of the period. Both total expenditures and expenditures per adjusted discharge increased significantly. The degree of competition among hospitals has not changed between 1982 and 1989. The HHI of around 0.3 suggests that competition was limited. (Markets with HHI values below 0.18 are considered moderately or very competitive [ 15 ] ). The large variation in the HHI, however, indicates that many hospitals were located in competitive markets, with 25% of hospitals in markets with HHI below 0.17. Overall mortality rates averaged 10%. Average observed and predicted rates were very similar, but the variation in rates was higher for the observed rates compared with the predicted rates, suggesting substantial variations in excess mortality and quality across the sample. Resource allocation changes Table 2reports the mean values for the dependent and independent variables included in the multivariate regressions. Table 3reports results by ownership - for-profit and non-profit. These results are based on a fully interacted model estimated over pooled data by ownership. All models were highly significant (p < 0.01). The clinical services model explained 51% of the variation in expenditures per adjusted discharge, while the hotel and administrative services models explained 24% and 26% respectively. Effect of competition Table 5presents the marginal effect of competition, calculated from the regression results and using equations 2 and 3, for 1982 and 1989, as well as the change in these coefficients between the two years. (Note that the regression coefficients for the HHI variable were multiplied by -1 in table 5, such that a positive association means that expenditures per discharge increase with increased competition.) Non-profit hospitals in more competitive areas had higher expenditures per adjusted discharge in all three categories in all years. The marginal effect was highest in clinical areas and lowest in administrative services. It declined significantly over time in both clinical and hotel services, but not in administrative services. The decline was almost three times as large in the clinical services compared with hotel services. By 1989, while the marginal effect of competition on expenditures in these services was still positive, it was no longer significantly different from zero. These findings are consistent with the hypothesis that the focus of competition on quality in 1982 has diminished significantly over the seven-year period we studied. The results for for-profit hospitals present a different picture. First, the association between expenditures per adjusted discharge and competition was statically significant only for administrative services. This association was also by far the strongest. It was negative, indicating that hospitals in more competitive markets spent less per discharge on administrative activities. The marginal effect was slightly smaller in 1989, suggesting that hospitals in more competitive areas may have reallocated resources into administrative services. They may have, for example, invested in better information and management systems that would allow them to better control costs. The association between competition and resource use was negative in clinical services and positive in hotel services. This is consistent with the hypothesis that for-profit hospitals compete on quality in those areas that can be easily observed by patients, namely hotel services, and cut back on resources in clinical services, where quality is more difficult for patients to evaluate directly. The change over the 1982 through 1989 period is also consistent with this hypothesis: the negative association between competition and clinical resources increased in 1989 as did the positive association between hotel resources and competition. The lack of significance of the associations may reflect the smaller number of for-profit hospitals in the sample and the resulting lower statistical power. (There were 83 for-profit hospitals and 13 independent variables, compared with 237 non-profit hospitals.) Other hospital and market characteristics The strongest and most consistent relationship was between all payer case mix and expenditures per adjusted discharge in all categories (see table 3). The association was substantially stronger for the clinical category and in non-profit compared with for-profit hospitals. Most other variables either exhibited no significant associations or no clear patterns. There were no significant differences in resource allocations by ownership. Teaching status was positively associated with clinical and hotel expenditures among the non-profit hospitals but exhibited a negative association among the for-profit hospitals. Percent bad debt and charity and percent occupancy had no significant relationship with expenditures among the non-profit but were associated with lower clinical and administrative expenditures among the for-profit hospitals. Median family income was associated with higher expenditure levels for all services among the non-profit hospital, but only with the clinical services among the for-profits. Risk adjusted excess mortality Table 4reports the results of the regressions modeling the association between excess mortality (defined as the difference between observed and predicted mortality rate) and clinical expenditures per adjusted discharge, competition, ownership, and teaching status. The models explained between 1% and 5% of the variation in excess mortality. In all cases there was a negative association between clinical expenditure levels and excess mortality, implying that increased resources were associated with better mortality outcomes. This relationship was present for mortality from all causes as well as from the four specific causes, and was statistically significant at the 0.10 level or better. Table 6shows the increase in excess mortality that is associated with a decrease of 1 standard deviation (SD) in clinical expenditures per adjusted discharge, based on the estimated regression coefficients. For comparison, the table also provides the magnitude of 1 SD in excess mortality among the study hospitals. In all cases, the effect of a 1 SD in resources was less than a 1 SD in excess mortality. As expected due to the potential bias towards zero in the measures based on all causes, the associations were larger for the cause specific measures. As discussed earlier, we hypothesized that competition may affect quality, including clinical quality, not only through its impact on resource use but also due to incentives to compete on quality. If indeed hospitals were competing on clinical quality, the association between the HHI and excess mortality, controlling for resource use, should have been positive and significant. In all cases, except for pneumonia, we did not find a significant relationship. In most cases there was also no significant relationship between ownership or teaching status and excess mortality. Discussion In this paper we present a test of the hypothesis that changes in the nature of competition among California hospitals, resulting from selective contracting, were associated with changes in hospitals' resource allocation decisions. We find empirical evidence to suggest that resources have been shifted from clinical activities (which are not observed by patients) and into hotel services (which are more readily observable). These changes in resource allocation tended to be larger in hospitals located in more competitive areas. As the level of competition has not changed during the study period, the change in hospital behavior is likely to be a response to the change in the nature of competition. The relationship between resource allocation and competition differed by ownership. For-profit hospitals in more competitive areas had lower expenditures levels compared with those in less competitive areas. Among non-profit hospitals, we found the opposite - clinical expenditures per adjusted discharge increased with competition. The trend over time, however, even though it was much stronger among the non-profit hospitals, was the same for both types. For both, the change in the marginal effect of competition () was negative. As a result, the positive association between competition and clinical resource use among non-profit hospitals diminished and the negative association among the for-profit hospitals increased. The analyses of excess mortality demonstrate that clinical quality, at least as measured here, is positively associated with the amount of resources used in producing clinical services. Therefore, policies that create incentives for hospitals to limit resource use are likely to have an impact on health outcomes. Furthermore, as clinical quality is not easily observable by consumers, leading to disparity in incentives to provide hotel and clinical quality, more competitive areas are likely to experience a larger relative decline in resources allocated to clinical activities and hence worse mortality outcomes. The impact on health outcomes in non-profit hospitals may not be as large as it might have been because expenditure levels were curtailed not only in clinical areas, but in hotel services as well, although to a much lesser degree. This strategy spread the burden of cost containment efforts beyond clinical activities. If non-profit hospitals would have concentrated all their cost cutting efforts in clinical services, as did the for-profit hospitals, the impact on costs, and potentially on mortality outcomes, would have been 35% higher (see table 4). The generalizability of the findings presented here is limited in several ways. First, quality was measured only in terms of excess mortality. While this is an important aspect of quality, it is likely to be an insensitive measure. Because measures based on mortality do not tend to be correlated with measures based on other outcomes [ 16 ] , such as complications, one cannot deduce from this study that other aspects of clinical quality have been affected similarly by the changes in competition during the period. Furthermore, the mortality models we estimated, unlike the expenditures models, were cross sectional and are therefore subject to the usual concerns about potential bias due to omitted hospital specific effects. It should be noted, however, that the models did include the variables most likely to be associated with excess mortality - patient level risks, expenditures, competition, ownership and teaching status. It should also be noted that while our findings with respect to changes in resource allocation are based on total expenditures, thus reflecting care for all patients, the mortality outcomes are based on the experience of Medicare patients only. Prior studies, however, suggest that patient care given by same provider does not vary by payer status [ 17 18 19 ] . A more important generalizability question arises due to the sample selected for this study - namely hospitals located only in California during the 1980s. Can the behavior of hospitals observed in this local and during this time period be assumed to generalize to other markets and other times? While the magnitude of the effects we measure in this study are clearly not generalizable, the directions of the effects are likely to transcend time and place, as they reflect basic behavioral responses to market incentives in accordance with theory. While this sample selection may be viewed as a limitation of this study, it is also its strength. By focusing on a period in which levels of competition were stable and where the change in the nature of competition can be traced to a specific legislative act, this study is able to test for the differential impact of price vs. quality competition, without confounding by other factors. Conclusion In summary, the results of this study should be viewed as raising a cautionary question: are the hospital cost reductions that have been observed in California [ 20 ] and nationally [ 21 ] associated with increased mortality? Authors' Contributions DM designed the study, performed the analyses, and wrote the manuscript. AB prepared the data set, and JZ participated in the design and analyses. Competing interests None declared. Background One of the major cellular serine/threonine protein phosphatases is protein phosphatase type 1 (PP1) [ 1 ] . An abundant enzyme expressed in all cells, complex regulation of PP1 is thought to be essential for proper temporal and spatial regulation of PP1 catalytic activity towards individual substrates [ 2 ] . Three different isotypes of the catalytic subunit, designated PP1, PP1, and PP11, are expressed in many different cell types [ 3 ] . Studies employing many eukaryotic systems all point to a crucial role for PP1 activity in controlling cell cycle progression, and an absolute requirement of this activity for mitotic exit [ 4 5 6 7 ] . There is also evidence to suggest that phosphorylation of PP1 and its associated proteins by the cyclin-dependent kinases may regulate PP1 activity in a cell cycle stage-dependent manner [ 8 9 10 ] . Hence, current efforts are directed towards identification of cell cycle-dependent substrates for PP1, and how regulation of PP1 activity towards these substrates controls the cell division cycle. One physiological substrate for PP1 appears to be the product of the retinoblastoma susceptibility gene, pRB [ 11 12 13 ] , a demonstrated tumor suppressor. The cell growth and tumor suppressive activity of pRB is regulated by its phosphorylation state. pRB phosphorylation varies as a function of cell cycle phase; during G 1 the hypophosphorylated form predominates, while the hyperphosphorylated form accumulates during S, G 2 and M phase [ 14 15 16 ] . It is this hypophosphorylated form of pRB present during early and mid G 1 which functions to modify gene expression. This is achieved by complexing with transcription factors resulting in repression [ 17 ] or stimulation [ 18 ] of transcription. Under conditions favoring proliferation, the phosphorylation of pRB via cyclin-dependent kinases (CDKs) in mid-to-late G 1 phase results in liberation of E2F and other pRB-bound transcription factors, which then activate the transcription of S-phase genes [ 19 ] . In late M phase, pRB returns to its growth suppressive, hypophosphorylated form due to the action of a pRB-directed protein phosphatase belonging to the type 1 class of serine/threonine protein phosphatases [ 11 20 21 ] . Of critical importance is the question of the in vivo effect of PP1 activity on pRB and growth regulation. To date, several techniques have been employed in this regard to demonstrate PP1 actions in intact cells. Berndt et. al. [ 22 ] used electroporation to introduce PP1 protein into tissue culture cells having noted that previous genetic attempts to accomplish overexpression were not readily accomplished. Using this technique, they showed a G1 block by PP1 that was dependent upon the presence of pRB. In another report, micro-injection of PP1 decreased extractability of pRB from nuclei, presumably by increasing dephosphorylation and increasing association with nuclear proteins thereby playing a role in G1/S transition inhibition [ 13 ] . Micro-injection of antibodies to the PP1 catalytic subunit has been shown to block cells in metaphase [ 23 ] . Since this is the time during mitosis when pRB is normally dephosphorylated [ 11 24 ] , it is tempting to speculate that prevention of pRB dephosphorylation by inhibiting PP1 activity impedes an orderly progression through mitosis, perhaps contributing towards a transformed phenotype. Here, using the tetracycline induction system [ 25 ] , we developed an inducible PP1 expression system to investigate the regulation of PP1 activity. We view this as a first step towards addressing the question of the in vivo effect of PP1 activity on pRB and growth regulation. Our results support the notion that induced PP1 protein functions identically to endogenous PP1 with respect to non-catalytic subunit binding and activity towards phosphorylase a and the tumor suppressor pRB. Localization of this protein to the nucleus also mirrors that of endogenous PP1 in vivo . When using this system to forcibly overexpress 6His-HA-PP1, there is a concomitant decrease in endogenous PP1 levels, suggesting the existence of an autoregulatory mechanism by which PP1 protein levels remain constant. RT-PCR analyses of isolated polysome fractions supports the notion that this putative autoregulatory mechanism is exerted, at least in part, at the translational level. Results and Discussion Induction of 6His-HA-PP1 in LLW02F cells Figure 1shows construct of the tetracycline-inducible plasmid used to express 6His-HA-PP1. As shown in Figure 2A, 24 hr incubation with doxycycline in the medium has no appreciable effect on endogenous PP1 protein expression in the untransfected parent cell line (UMUC3) or a cell line transfected with the reverse tetracycline transactivator plasmid pUHD172-1neo only (LLWO1). A time course of induction by doxycycline was then carried out in stable clone LLWO2F. Harvested at various time intervals, whole-cell lysates were prepared and the proteins were separated by SDS-PAGE for western blotting using antibody to the hemagglutinin tag. As shown in Figure 2B, a protein with the anticipated molecular weight of 40 kDa was detected. A clear differential of expression of 6His-HA-PP1 (indicated at the left of the panel) was observed at 1.5 hours after addition of doxycycline, which became more pronounced at later time points. The doxycycline-independent increase in 6His-HA-PP1 is attributed to background expression when using this system [ 25 ] . As predicted for a protein under the control of the doxycycline-inducible promoter, the abundance of 6His-HA-PP1 decreases in the absence of the inducer over time (Figure 2C). Subsequent time course experiments revealed peak abundance occurring between 16 and 24 hr, and remaining constant thereafter for at least 72 hr, at which time the experiment was terminated. As such, we have chosen the 24 hr induction time for all subsequent experiments to ensure peak abundance of the induced 6His-HA-PP1. As shown in Figure 2C, a significant reduction in 6His-HA-PP1 abundance can be observed between 3 and 12 hrs following removal of doxycycline. This reduction continued through the 24 hr time point at which time the experiment ended. Taken together, these data confirm the dependence of 6His-HA-PP1 protein production on the tet-O/CMV promoter, thus demonstrating inducible expression of PP1. As expected [ 25 ] , some low-level expression of 6His-HA-PP1 in the absence of the inducer doxycycline can also be detected. Biological and Biochemical Characterization of Inducible 6His-HA-PP1 To begin addressing the biological and biochemical characterization of inducible PP1, we next localized this protein in situ using immunohistochemistry. As shown in Figure 3, there is a predominant nuclear localization of the hemagglutinin epitope (panel A) compared to the low-level cytoplasmic and nuclear background reactivity seen in the uninduced LLWO2F control cells (panel B). Thus, not only can doxycycline-induced expression of PP1 be detected immunohistochemically, but localization of this protein appears to be identical to that of endogenous PP1 [ 26 ] . Targeting of PP1 to the nucleus is due in part to a PP1-associated nuclear targeting subunit (PNUTS; [ 27 ] ). To further investigate the properties of inducible PP1, we performed coprecipitation studies to determine if PNUTS can also be found associated with 6His-HA-PP1. Towards this goal, a fusion protein of GST and PNUTS was tested for the ability to capture induced PP1. Lysates from induced LLWO2F cells were combined with GST-alone- or GST-PNUTS-loaded glutathione Sepharose beads. Following separation by SDS-PAGE and western blotting, antibody to hemagglutinin was used to detect any associated 6His-HA-PP1. Antibody reactivity would indicate a link from the GST epitope to the hemagglutinin epitope via a PNUTS to PP1 interaction. As shown in Figure 4, the hemagglutinin epitope was captured by the GST-PNUTS fusion protein, but not the GST-alone protein. These data support the idea that induced PP1 and the nuclear targeting PP1-associated protein PNUTS can form a complex. These results further support the view that induced PP1 behaves similarly if not identically to endogenous PP1, and provides a possible mechanistic explanation for 6His-HA-PP1 localization to the nucleus. Two different approaches were taken to address the biochemical activity of inducible PP1. First, immunocomplexed 6His-HA-PP1 was tested for its ability to dephosphorylate phosphorylase a . Phosphorylated on a single serine residue, this substrate is often used to monitor the biochemical activity of PP1 in vitro [ 28 ] . As shown in Figure 5, greater phosphatase activity is detected in immunoprecipitates from induced LLWO2F cell lysates compared to uninduced. This is consistent with the notion that inducible PP1 is enzymatically active. Our second approach involved testing immunopurified 6His-HA-PP1 for its ability to dephosphorylate the growth suppressor protein pRB. Having previously reported on the ability of immunocomplexed endogenous PP1 to dephosphorylate pRB [ 20 ] , we followed the same experimental approach. Figure 6shows a significant decrease in the 32P radiolabel intensity for pRB following incubation with the anti-hemagglutinin immunoprecipitate compared to the normal mouse IgG control immunoprecipitate. In addition, okadaic acid, a potent inhibitor of PP1 activity [ 29 ] , significantly inhibits pRB dephosphorylation in this reaction. Taken together, these data indicate that inducible PP1 is biochemically active. Upregulation of inducible 6His-HA-PP1 coincides with downregulation of endogenous PP1 One prediction would be that by increasing expression of the catalytic subunit of PP1, overall PP1-specific activity within the cell would increase. To address this, we tested the phosphatase activity of LLWO2F whole-cell lysate using phosphorylase a as the substrate. To inhibit any endogenous PP2A activity, which can also dephosphorylate phosphorylase a and thus interfere with PP1 activity measurements, these assays were carried out in the presence of 5 nM okadaic acid, which does not inhibit PP1 activity [ 30 ] . Although reproducible, we observed only modest increases in PP1-specific activity found in lysates from induced cells compared to the uninduced controls (Figure 7). One possible explanation for this finding is that the overall level of PP1 within the cell remains relatively constant regardless of induction. Indeed, a time course of induction followed by western blotting of whole cell lysates using antibody to PP1 revealed diminution of the endogenous PP1 signal after 4 hr of induction, while the 6His-HA-PP1 signal increased (Figure 8). To further test this hypothesis, immunoprecipitation and western blotting experiments were carried out using PP1 isoform-specific antibodies. As shown in Figure 9, top panel, induced (approximate molecular weight of 40 kDa) and endogenous (approximate molecular weight of 37 kDa) PP1 are clearly resolved by SDS-PAGE. As predicted, both proteins are recognized by antibody specific for PP1 when performing immunoprecipitation or western blotting. Immunoprecipitation using PP1 antibody followed by western blotting using the same anti-PP1 reveals a reciprocal relationship in PP1 abundance following doxycycline induction; endogenous PP1 levels decrease in response to increasing levels of 6His-HA-PP1 (top panel, compare left two lanes). This difference in abundance is more striking in the whole-cell lysate lanes; endogenous PP1 fails to be detected in lysates prepared from induced cells (compare middle two lanes). Parallel experiments performed using the same lysate and antibody to hemagglutinin for immunoprecipitation and western blotting show the position of 6His-HA-PP1 and the fact that endogenous PP1 is not recognized by this antibody (bottom panel). Western blotting for additional isoforms of PP1 reveals that this reduction in PP1 following induction is isotype-specific; when 6His-HA-PP1 levels increase, concomitant with a decrease in PP1 levels, PP1 and PP11 levels remain relatively unchanged from those found in uninduced cell lysate (Figure 10). Taken together, these data suggest that an as yet undescribed negative-feedback or autoregulatory mechanism exists for PP1 which contributes towards maintaining a constant level of protein expression and enzyme activity. RT-PCR of polysome and total RNA specific for endogenous PP1 and 6His-HA-PP1 To address the possible autoregulatory mechanism(s) of PP1 expression and activity, we analyzed the RNA levels of both endogenous PP1 and induced 6His-HA-PP1. For uninduced cells, only endogenous PP1 RNA can be found associated with polysomes (Figure 11, second lane). While some 6His-HA-PP1 RNA can be detected in the total RNA, the majority PP1 RNA detected in the total preparation is endogenous (fourth lane). In contrast, it appears that for the doxycycline-induced cells (third lane), there is more 6His-HA-PP1 RNA associated with polysomes than endogenous PP1. However, both messages appear to be present at the same level in the total RNA preparation (fifth lane). This apparent preference for 6His-HA-PP1 RNA association with polysomes suggest that autoregulation takes place, at least in part, at the translational level. Conclusions In summary, we report on the development of an inducible mammalian cell expression system for the catalytic subunit of the -isotype for PP1. This protein behaves similarly if not identically to endogenous PP1 with respect to nuclear localization, complex formation to a recently described PP1-associated nuclear targeting protein, and in vitro enzymatic activity towards phosphorylase a and the cell growth and tumor suppressor protein pRB. We observed that endogenous PP1 protein levels decrease in response to increasing levels of induced 6His-HA-PP1 protein. This observation suggests that an as yet undescribed negative-feedback or autoregulatory mechanism exists for PP1 which contributes towards maintaining a constant level of this enzyme. Given the difficulty in achieving overexpression of PP1 protein and activity in mammalian cells, this suggestion provides an attractive explanation. This putative mechanism appears to be isotype-specific, since the protein levels of PP1 and PP11 remained relatively unchanged in response to induced expression of PP1. Precedent for an autoregulatory mechanism comes from a report by Baharians and Schonthal [ 31 ] , in which they demonstrate endogenous PP2A protein levels decrease in the presence of increasing amounts of forcibly-expressed exogenous PP2A. Their report also provides evidence that this control is exerted at the translational level and does not involve regulation of transcription or RNA processing. Using a similar approach of analyzing mRNA association with ribosomes as a measure of translation efficiency, a similar level of translational control also appears to exist for PP1. If mRNA association with ribosomes is truly a measure of translation efficiency, one conclusion from these data is that in doxycycline-induced cells, 6His-HA-PP1 RNA is more efficiently translated than endogenous PP1. This would help to explain why we observed a decrease in endogenous PP1 protein expression in doxycycline-induced cells. Since we did not perform rigorous analyses on PP1 regulation of transcription or RNA processing, we cannot rule out the possibility that some level of transcriptional control also exists. Indeed, the abundance of endogenous PP1 RNA found in uninduced cells appears equal to or greater than the combined abundance of endogenous and 6His-HA-PP1 RNA (Figure 9), supporting the notion that some level of translational control may also exist. These findings, provided by the development of this inducible PP1 expression system, will afford new research opportunities aimed towards addressing the question of how PP1 activity is regulated. This putative autoregulatory mechanism for the catalytic subunit may help to explain why the overall abundance of PP1 during the various phases of the cell cycle remains relatively constant [ 32 ] . Historically, regulation of PP1 catalytic activity has resulted from associated subunits inhibiting or targeting the catalytic subunit towards substrates [ 33 ] . While the PP1 catalytic subunit is not found alone in the cell, such unassociated catalytic subunits have been shown to be active, at least in vitro . Although speculative, there may be a threshold amount of catalytic subunit in vivo above which associated proteins are limiting. Such a situation may compromise the ability of associated proteins to effectively regulate PP1 catalytic activity. To guard against this scenario, control over the amount of PP1 catalytic subunit present via an autoregulatory mechanism would be beneficial. The data presented here validate a useful system with which to manipulate PP1 activity in vivo for the purpose of functional studies. Just as is the case for PP2A [ 31 ] , it seems clear that efficient overall increases in PP1 protein abundance may not be achieved due to a putative negative feed-back or autoregulatory mechanism. However, induced expression of exogenous PP1 which behaves identically to endogenous PP1 while remaining physically distinguishable can facilitate the use of mutants to address functional questions, particularly in the area of cell cycle regulation and tumor cell growth suppression. Indeed, the use of a constitutively active mutant of PP1 has already been shown to result in pRB-dependent G1 arrest in human cancer cells [ 22 ] . Placing this mutant into the inducible expression system described here has the potential to down-regulate expression of wild-type endogenous PP1. Doing so in a timed, controlled manner will permit in vivo studies addressing PP1 function during discrete phases of the cell cycle, and will be the subject of future endeavors. Materials and Methods Tetracycline Induction System The rabbit PP1 cDNA in pDR540 [ 34 ] was ligated into pcDNA3 (Invitrogen) to create a fusion encoding 6 histidines (6-His) followed by an epitope (YPYDVPDYA) from the Hemophilus influenza hemagglutinin protein (HA). The sequence and reading frame was validated by BigDye DNA sequencing (PE Applied Biosystems). The fusion gene was then cut from the 6His-HA-PP1-pcDNA3 plasmid and ligated into pTEP4m, which contains a tetracycline response element for inducible expression [ 25 ] , and a hygromycin resistance gene for selection in eukaryotic cells (see Figure 1). pUHD172-1neo [ 25 ] encodes the reverse tetracycline transactivator protein fused with a nuclear localization signal (rtTA-nls). In addition to the rtTA-nls gene under control of the CMV promoter, the plasmid contains neomycin and ampicillin antibiotic resistance genes. Cell Culture, Transfection, and Selection The UMUC3 cell line was obtained from the American Type Culture Collection. The cells were maintained in Dulbecco's minimal essential medium(Life Technologies) supplemented with 10% fetal bovine serum, 20 units/ml penicillin and 20 ug/ml streptomycin. Cells were incubated at 37C, in a 5% carbon dioxide containing atmosphere. Plasmid DNA was introduced into cultured cells using Lipofectamine (Life Technologies). 2 ug of plasmid DNA and 25 ul of Lipofectamine were combined in 200 ul of Opti-mem media (Life Technologies) and allowed to stand at room temperature for 30 minutes. This mixture was diluted to 1 ml with Opti-mem and applied to cells in one well of 6-well tissue culture plates. After two hours, 1 ml of complete medium was added to each well. After twenty-four hours the medium was replaced with complete medium. Transfection of UMUC3 cells with pUHD172-1neo was followed 48 hr later by selection using geneticin. Isolated colonies were obtained at 800 g/ml. These cells were passaged and expanded before transfection with pBI-EGFP (Clontech), which contains the enhanced green fluorescent protein coding sequence under control of a bi-directional tetracycline response element. At the end of the 2 hr transfection (as described above) the medium was replaced with complete medium with and without doxycycline at 1 ug/ml final concentration. 24 hr later the cells were examined by fluorescence microscopy. The presence of doxycycline dependent green fluorescence was indicative of stable transfection with pUHD172-1neo encoding the rtTA-nls protein and transient transfection with pBi-EGFP. Parallel cultures were then passaged and transfected with 6His-HA-PP1-pTEP4m. Selection with hygromycin was begun 48 hr later. Isolated colonies were obtained at 100 ug/ml hygromycin and were passaged and diluted to extinction. Six cell lines, designated LLW02A through LLW02F, were established. The LLW02F cell line was used for all subsequent experiments. This choice was based on high levels of induced PP1 expression as assayed by immunoblotting. Doxycycline was used at 1 ug/ml for induction. SDS-PAGE and Immunoblotting Cells were lysed for 15 min at 4C in EBC buffer (50 mM Tris-HCl, pH 8.0, 120 mM NaCl, 0.5% Nonidet P-40) containing 10 ug/ml of the protease inhibitors aprotinin, leupeptin, and phenylmethylsulfonylfluoride (PMSF). The lysates were cleared by centrifugation at 14,000 g for 10 minutes. Electrophoresis was performed in SDS-polyacrylamide gels [ 35 ] using the indicated amount of total cell protein [ 36 ] . After electrophoresis, the proteins were transferred to nitrocellulose paper in buffer containing 25 mM Tris-HCl, 192 mM glycine, 20% v/v methanol, and 0.01% SDS, pH 8.5 [ 37 ] . Residual protein binding sites on the nitrocellulose were blocked by incubation for 30 minutes in TBST (25 mM Tris-HCl, pH 8.0, 150 mM NaCl, 0.5% Tween-20) containing 4% non-fat dry milk. Next, the nitrocellulose was incubated in TBST containing 2% non-fat dry milk containing primary antibody directed towards the indicated protein. Following three washes of 10 min each with TBST, the nitrocellulose was probed with horse-radish peroxidase-conjugated anti-IgG (Promega, Madison, WI) and developed using chemiluminescence detection (Pierce, Rockford, IL) according to the manufacturer's instructions. Immunohistochemistry Cell monolayers were rinsed 3 times with PBS, fixed for 10 minutes in -20 oC methanol, and then air dried for 1 hr. The cells were rehydrated for 20 min in PBS before blocking for 20 min with diluted normal horse serum. The cells were then incubated for 30 min with a 1:200 dilution of monoclonal antibody HA.11 (BAbCO, Richmond, California) which recognizes the influenza hemagglutinin epitope YPYDVPDYA. The cells were then washed 4 times PBS and incubated with biotinylated secondary antibody for 30 min at room temperature. Following 4 rinses with PBS, the cells were then incubated for 30 min at room temperature with avidin-biotin-peroxidase complexes. The cells were rinsed again in PBS 4 times. Diaminobenzidine (DAB substrate kit for peroxidase, Vector Laboratories, Burlingame, CA) was used as the final chromogen. The cells were incubated with this compound for 8 min. Hematoxylin was used as the nuclear counterstain. Following dehydration in ethanol and air drying, the cell monolayers were flooded with glycerol for subsequent observation, photography, and storage. Phosphorylase Phosphatase Activity of Immunocomplexed 6His-HA-PP1 Phosphorylase phosphatase activity was measured as the release of trichloroacetic acid (TCA) soluble counts from 32P-phosphorylase a according to Cohen et. al. [ 38 ] Briefly, radiolabeled phosphorylase a was synthesized by taking phosphorylase b (Sigma), at a concentration of 10 mg/ml, and incubating with 0.2 mg/ml phosphorylase kinase (Sigma) for 1.5 hours at 30C in kinase reaction buffer (100 mM Tris-HCl; 100 mM sodium glycerol-1-phosphate, pH 8.2; 0.1 mM CaCl 2 , 10 mM magnesium acetate, and 0.2 mM [g- 32P]ATP {10 6cpm/nmol}). Enzyme samples were immunocomplexed 6His-HA-PP1. Preparation of [ 32P]pRB substrate and pRB-directed phosphatase activity assays To assay pRB-directed phosphatase activity, [ 32P]-labeled pRB substrate was prepared by immunoprecipitation with monoclonal antibody to pRB, PMG3-245 (PharMingen), from [ 32P]-labeled CV-1P cells as described previously [ 20 ] . For the source of enzyme, immunocomplexed 6His-HA-PP1 from induced LLWO2F cells were mixed and incubated with [ 32P]-labeled immunoprecipitated pRB for 30 minutes at 30C as previously described [ 20 ] . Phosphatase reactions were terminated by the addition of SDS-PAGE sample buffer and boiling. Proteins were separated on SDS-polyacrylamide gels. Gels were fixed, dried subjected to autoradiography. Type 1 Phosphatase Activity of Whole-Cell Lysates PP1 was assayed by the release of [ 32P] H 3 PO 4 from [ 32P]-rabbit muscle phosphorylase a (1-2 10 5cpm/nmol). 5 nM okadaic acid was used to inhibit PP2A during the assay. 1 unit of PP1 activity releases 1 nmol of Pi/min at 30C. Immunoprecipitation using PP1 Isoform-specific antibody LLWO2F cell extracts (50 ug) were immunoprecipitated with approximately 1 ug of isoform-specific rabbit antiserum to PP1 as previously described [ 38 ] . Immunoprecipitation with 1 ug of normal rabbit serum served as a negative control. GST-PNUTS Affinity Chromatography Induction of GST-PNUTS fusion protein synthesis and isolation by affinity chromatography using glutathione-Sepharose beads (Pharmacia) was performed as described previously [ 32 ] . Induced LLWO2F cell extracts were then incubated for 1 hour at 4C with recombinant GST or GST-PNUTS fusion protein bound to glutathione-Sepharose. Bound proteins were washed with PBS, separated on 10 % SDS-polyacrylamide gels, and transferred to nitrocellulose. Protein blots were then developed using antibody to hemagglutinin for 6His-HA-PP1 detection. Polysome isolation Uninduced and induced LLWO2F cells (10 100 mm dishes) were washed 3-times with ice-cold serum-free DMEM containing 10 ug/ml cycloheximide. After the last wash, cells were scraped into a final volume of 5 ml of this same medium for each 10-dish treatment. The cells were harvested with a brief centrifugation. The cell pellet was resuspended in 0.5 ml lysis buffer (125 mM KCl, 12.5 mM mgCl2, 10 mM Hepes, pH 6.8, 0.1 mM dithiothreitol, 10 ug/ml cycloheximide, 0.5% Triton X-100, 0.5% deoxycholate) followed by 10 passages through a 22 gauge needle to lyse the cells. The resulting extracts were then layered on the top of a 10-40% sucrose gradient (125 mM KCl, 12.5 mM mgCl2, 10 mM Hepes, pH 6.8, 0.1 mM dithiothreitol, 10 ug/ml cycloheximide) and centrifuged at 4C in a SW50.1 rotor at 48,000 rpm for 60 min. After centrifugation, the gradient was fractionated in 200 ul aliquots and analyzed at A 260 using a Bio-Rad SmartSpec 3000. A single peak of A 260 absorbance in the bottom portion of the gradient was analyzed as polysome fraction. RT-PCR analyses of PP1 mRNA LLWO2F cells were induced with doxycycline (2 ug/ml) for 24 hr. Negative control LLWO2F cells were not induced with doxycycline. For total RNA experiments, RNA was harvested from monolayered cells using QIAshredder and Qiagen RNeasy mini-kit. Polysome RNA was recovered from polysome fractions by first diluting fractions in 3.5 volumes of lysis buffer from the Qiagen RNeasy mini-kit and then continuing with the manufacturer's instructions. RNA was quantitated by UV spectrometry. 1 ug total RNA (or 200 ng polysome RNA) was used in first strand cDNA synthesis using SUPERSCRIPT II reverse transcriptase (Life Technologies) following manufacturer's instructions. cDNA was extracted by one phenol chloroform:isoamyl alcohol extraction followed by one chloroform isoamyl alcohol extraction and then ethanol precipitated. cDNA was resuspended in 20 ul water and used in a 30-cycle PCR reaction with 1 uM of each of the following four primers: {CCACGCTGTTTTGACCTCCATAGAAGACAC, CACATAGTCCCCCAGAAAGAGGTAGTTGCT}, in which product only forms from 6His-HA-PP1 cDNA, and {GACGCGGGCAAGCAGTCCCTCGAGACCATTGCCTGCTG, CTGGAGACCCACGACCTGGCCTGCCGTTG}, in which product only forms from endogenous PP1 cDNA. Reaction also contained 200 uM dNTPs, 1 mM Mg ++, and 5 units Taq DNA polymerase (Life Technologies) with supplied reaction buffer. 2 ul of the PCR product was loaded onto a 1% agarose gel containing ethidium bromide for UV visualization. Authors' Contributions JER, JWL, and EMM conceived the study and participated in its design and execution. MPS participated in plasmid constructions. PK performed RT-PCR and polysome analysis. EV-M provided PP1-isoform specific antibodies and participated in PP1 immunoprecipitations and western blots. Authors read and approved the final manuscript. Background Much has been written in the last decade about the potential of transcranial magnetic stimulation (TMS) as a new diagnostic and therapeutic tool in clinical neurophysiology [ 1 2 3 ] . TMS is a painless and non-invasive technique for stimulating cortical tissue by means of magnetic induction. TMS has been used to map the motor cortex by recording evoked responses, and appears to show potential for treating certain brain disorders, from Parkinson's disease to depression. A disadvantage of TMS, however, is its inability to localize the site of excitation in the brain to a volume less than several tens of cubic centimeters at best. This is because the spatial distribution of the magnetic fields cannot be effectively concentrated or focused. In fact, because the fields obey Laplace's equation, it is impossible to create local maxima in the field intensity no matter what the configuration of source coils; in a homogeneous conducting medium, the field strength will always be largest at the surface and fall off monotonically at greater depths. In this paper, we propose a different method of stimulating cortical tissue, which, in principle, could permit much greater localization of the site of excitation as well as deeper penetration into the brain. The idea is to induce electrical currents by propagating an ultrasonic wave in the presence of a strong DC magnetic field. The currents are generated by Lorentz forces on moving ions produced by the oscillating sound wave. 1 We present here an analysis of the distribution of the electric field induced by an ideally collimated ultrasonic beam in a homogeneous conducting medium. The analysis allows us to calculate the magnitude of the electric field strengths that can be expected, and shows that the highest practical fields that can be induced by ultrasound, up to about 8 V/m, are about an order of magnitude lower than those associated with TMS. Such fields have been reported in the literature to range between about 10 and 100 V/m [ 5 ] . We note, however, that the spatial and temporal character of the ultrasonically-induced fields are quite different from those induced by magnetic induction. One such difference is that the spatial variations of the ultrasonically-induced fields are much more rapid than the fields associated with TMS since, in the former case, the fields change on the scale of the ultrasonic wavelength (e.g., less than a millimeter). Thus, the magnitude of the gradients of the ultrasonically-induced electric fields can be comparable to those associated with TMS, depending on the ultrasonic frequency (e.g., at 4 MHz, a gradient of about 60 kV/m 2is attainable). This may be significant since activation models predict that the gradient of the field, rather than its strength, is primarily responsible for neural stimulation [ 6 7 ] . However, researchers have also speculated that field gradients induced by cellular-scale inhomogeneities in the tissue conductivity may play a more important role in neural stimulation than the spatial variations of the impressed fields [ 8 9 10 11 12 ] . The latter question is important in deciding whether the potentially large impressed field gradients induced by ultrasound are truly an advantage in effecting stimulation. 2 A second difference between ultrasonic stimulation and TMS that may have some practical significance for exciting neural tissue is related to our greater freedom in controlling the time dependence of an ultrasonic pulse compared to a TMS pulse. We show below that the temporal dependence of the electric field (and the induced current density) follows that of the ultrasonic waveform. Although the duration of a TMS pulse is typically on the order of a few tenths of a millisecond and the ultrasonic variation is on the order of microseconds or less (roughly the reciprocal of the ultrasonic frequency), considerable control over the shape of the ultrasonic waveform is in principle possible. For example, one can transmit an ultrasonic pulse train at essentially any repetition frequency or modulate a continuous ultrasonic wave in a variety of ways. For neural excitation to take place, the magnitude of the induced electric field (or its gradient) must exceed an activation threshold. It is generally believed that excitation that is oscillatory in time makes this process more difficult. For example, simulations carried out by Reilly suggest that, using a sinusoidal stimulus, the activation threshold increases monotonically with frequency beyond a few kHz [ 15 ] . However, Reilly also reports that a series of rapid pulses, where the repetition period is short compared to the depolarization time constant (the latter being a few tenths of a millisecond), is a much more effective stimulus than a pure sinusoid. Reilly describes this as the "integration effect of multiple pulses." If the individual pulses are monophasic, the activation threshold is considerably reduced compared to a single monophasic pulse. For example, Reilly reports that the integration effect of a series of rapid pulses, each 10 microsec in duration with a repetition rate of 50 kHz, reduces the activation threshold by a factor of 5 relative to a single 10 microsec pulse. A key question is whether a series of pulses of this kind can be generated ultrasonically. Certainly, the 50 kHz rate is feasible. A second question is whether one can create an ultrasonic pulse that is approximately monophasic. With some ingenuity, the answer appears to be yes. For example, although an ultrasonic pulse must have a zero DC component, the pulse need not be symmetric; that is, the positive-going excursion of an ultrasonic pulse can, under certain conditions, significantly exceed the negative-going excursion, which would approximate a "monophasic" waveform. A simple example of the latter can be achieved with the aid of an ultrasonic transducer that is non-symmetric, e.g., a transducer whose length is much greater than its width. In this case, there is a large positive excursion followed by a much longer, but weaker, negative excursion (an ultrasonic "wake"). Another way to alter the shape of an ultrasonic pulse is by transmitting it through a dispersive medium that acts as an ultrasonic filter, or by using multi-layered transducers. Although, in our analysis, we shall for simplicity assume a static magnetic field, an alternative approach is to use an optimally-designed magnetic pulse produced by a conventional TMS coil to bring the neural tissue close to its activation threshold, but not exceeding it. TMS coils create fields, although transient, in the range of 1 T to 4 T. An ultrasonic pulse (or series of pulses), if properly timed, could then push the membrane potential past threshold. In this way, the locus of activation would still be determined by the ultrasound, although deep stimulation might still be difficult because the field intensity produced by a TMS coil falls off rapidly with depth (a problem avoided by using a static field). It is worth noting that the idea of using a conditioning pulse of this kind was suggested by Reilly [ 16 ] , but in a somewhat different context. Reilly proposed using two coils, one that produces a "conditioning pulse" (Reilly's phrase) to achieve 75% of the excitation threshold; then a second nearby coil, excited by a sinusoidal waveform (of frequency 80 kHz in Reilly's example), would push the membrane potential beyond threshold. His idea was that the combination of coils is more effective in achieving greater "focality," or localization, of the stimulus than a single coil. Using a mathematical model of neural activation, Reilly predicts that this combination of signals, the conditioning pulse plus the 80 kHz sine wave, will achieve activation. One could speculate that, instead of the 80 kHz sinusoidal signal, the conditioning pulse could be accompanied by a series of ultrasonic pulses at a rate of 80 kHz (or whatever rate is determined to be optimal). It may turn out that these questions can only be settled by experiment, or by sophisticated modeling of the neuron in the presence of a realistic ultrasonic wave. Method Concept Localized electric currents can be induced in tissue by propagating ultrasound in the presence of a magnetic field. Consider, for example, an ultrasonic pulse propagating in an electrolytic fluid (such as soft tissue) in the presence of a static magnetic field oriented in a direction perpendicular to the propagation path. The longitudinal particle motion due to the ultrasonic wave moves the ions back and forth through the magnetic field; this results in Lorentz forces on the ions that give rise to an electric current density that oscillates at the ultrasonic frequency. This idea was used as the basis of "Hall effect imaging" proposed by Wen [ 17 ] in which Lorentz forces are employed to image the electrical conductivity of tissue. Montalibet et al. also noted that propagating ultrasound in the presence of a magnetic field will generate electric currents in tissue [ 18 ] . They also proposed using this effect to measure the electrical conductivity of tissue. Here we propose a new application: localized stimulation of active (nerve or cortical) tissue by ultrasonically-induced electric fields. Our objective in this paper is to compute the magnitude and the spatial distribution of the these fields. We shall show that analytical solutions for the field distribution can be derived for an ideally collimated ultrasonic beam. Theory Consider an ion in a conductive medium with charge q . The longitudinal particle motion of an ultrasonic wave will cause the ion to oscillate back and forth in the medium with velocity v . In the presence of a constant magnetic field, B 0 , the ion is subjected to the Lorentz force F = q v B 0 . (1) This produces an electric current density given by J 0 = ( n + u + + n - u - ) F , (2) where u + and u - are the mobilities of the positive and negative ions (assumed to have charges of q and - q , respectively), and n + and n - are their concentrations. Combining (1) and (2) gives J 0 = q ( n + u + + n - u - ) v B 0 . (3) But the electrical conductivity, , of the medium is given by = q ( n + u + + n - u - ), (4) so that J 0 = v B 0 . (5) A typical value of the conductivity of tissue is 0.5 Siemens/m. In the most general case, the conductivity may be regarded as a complex quantity to account for polarization (or displacement) currents at higher frequencies. From (5), the equivalent electric field is E 0 = v B 0 . (6) The field, E 0 , and the current density, J 0 , oscillate at the ultrasonic frequency in a direction mutually perpendicular to the propagation path (the direction v ) and the magnetic field B 0 . For convenience, we assume harmonic excitation of the ultrasonic wave of the form exp(- i t ). Since all our equations are linear, an arbitrary time dependence can be treated by Fourier synthesis. In the following, the time dependence of all quantities, both ultrasonic and electromagnetic, will be exp(- i t ), so this factor is dropped. The ultrasonically-induced current density J 0 can be regarded as an impressed current density that gives rise to scattered (or secondary) electric and magnetic fields E s and B s that obey the Maxwell's equation B s = 0 E s + 0 J 0 , (7) where 0 is the free-space magnetic permeability. Dielectric properties of tissue can be accounted for by replacing everywhere with - i where is the tissue permittivity. At a frequency of about 1 MHz and using typical values for tissue, the quantity will be one to two orders of magnitude less than . Substituting (5) and (6) into (7), we have B s = 0 ( E s + E 0 ). (8) In this equation, the impressed electric field is E 0 , given by (6), and E s is the induced electric field whose source is the Lorentz-induced current density (5). The total electric field is the sum E = E s + E 0 , (9) and the total current density is J = E s + J 0 = E . (10) Here our objective is to compute the induced field, E s , to be substituted into (9) to obtain the total field, E . To solve this problem, consider a collimated ultrasonic beam propagating in the z -direction, assumed here to have axial symmetry with a radial profile given by p ( r ), where . The particle velocity is then given by: where v 0 is the peak particle velocity, is the z -directed unit vector along the beam axis, k 0 = / c 0 , and c 0 is the ultrasonic wave speed. Although this beam is idealized (e.g., it neglects spreading), (11) is a reasonable approximation to a focused ultrasonic beam in the region of its focus. In the presence of a magnetic field B 0 = B 0 , the resultant Lorentz-induced current density is predicted by (5) to be: J 0 ( r ) = B 0 v 0 p ( r ) . (12) When this current density is substituted into (7), one can solve for the induced electric field, E s , using standard techniques. As shown in the appendix, the components of E s in cylindrical coordinates are found to be where and I 0 () and K 0 () are modified Bessel functions of the first and second kind. At this point, for an arbitrary beam profile p ( r ), one must resort to a numerical integration of (16). However, the integrals can be evaluated analytically for the special case of an ideally collimated ultrasonic beam whose radial profile is defined by where a is the beam radius. Substituting (17) into (16), we find [ 19 ] : Inserting this result into (13)-(15), we obtain the components of the induced electric field E s , as follows. Inside the beam ( r < a ), we have E r ( r ,, z ) = B 0 v 0 P r ( r ) sin (19) E ( r ,, z ) = B 0 v 0 P ( r ) cos (20) E z ( r ,, z ) = B 0 v 0 P z ( r ) sin (21) where P z ( r ) - ik 0 a K 1 ( k 0 a ) I 1 ( k 0 r ), (24) and outside the beam ( r > a ), E r ( r ,, z ) = B 0 v 0 Q r ( r ) sin (25) E ( r ,, z ) = B 0 v 0 Q ( r ) cos (26) E z ( r ,, z ) = B 0 v 0 Q z ( r ) sin (27) where Q z ( r ) - ik 0 a I 1 ( k 0 a ) K 1 ( k 0 r ). (30) On the beam boundary ( r = a ), the tangential components of the electric field are continuous as expected; that is, P ( a ) = Q ( a ) and P z ( a ) = Q z ( a ). This can be checked by setting r = a in the above equations and using the identity [ 20 ] By comparing P r ( a ) and Q r ( a ), however, we see that the radial component of the field is discontinuous on the boundary, indicating charge accumulation there. This charge, of course, oscillates at the ultrasonic frequency. The radial electric field discontinuity is seen to be E = B 0 v 0 [ Q r ( a ) - P r ( a )] sin = B 0 v 0 sin , (32) where (31) was used in the last step. This result can be employed to compute the surface charge density, s , on the beam boundary by means of the relation s = - E , where is the tissue dielectric constant. It can be shown that the radially-dependent terms (22)-(24) and (28)-(30) achieve their maximum values near r = a , that is, near the beam boundary. In this region, the terms with k 0 r in the denominator can be neglected compared to the other terms. Thus, the dominate terms when r is near a are given by: for r < a , P r ( r ) = - B 0 v 0 k 0 a K 1 ( k 0 a ) I 0 ( k 0 r ) (33) P ( r ) = 0 (34) P z ( r ) = - iB 0 v 0 k 0 a K 1 ( k 0 a ) I 1 ( k 0 r ), (35) for r > a , Q r ( r ) = B 0 v 0 k 0 a I 1 ( k 0 a ) K 0 ( k 0 r ) (36) Q ( r ) = 0 (37) Q z ( r ) = - iB 0 v 0 k 0 a I 1 ( k 0 a ) K 1 ( k 0 r ). (38) Let us evaluate these functions on the beam boundary ( r = a ). The arguments of the Bessel functions are k 0 a = 2 a /, so that, for a greater than a few wavelengths, we can use the large argument asymptotic approximations [ 21 ] : which gives where we have defined E 0 B 0 v 0 as the magnitude of the impressed electric field, as seen from (6). Several comments about this solution are worth noting. First, for a beam with a perfectly (and unrealistically) sharp boundary at r = a , the radial component of the electric-field gradient is infinite on the boundary. This is a mathematical artifact of our solution since the electric field is discontinuous at r = a . For a real beam, the transition is much more gradual (on the order of an ultrasonic wavelength or more), and charge distribution on the beam boundary will be distributed over this transition region. A second point is that a numerical integration of (16) for a more realistic beam profile, p ( r ), that falls off more smoothly than (17), such as a Gaussian profile, results in an electric field smaller in magnitude at the beam boundary than that given by (39) and (40). Thus, the above analytical solution provides a useful, but very qualitative, picture of the field behavior at the beam boundary. It can also be seen from the expressions (22)-(24) that the induced field is near zero at the center of the beam ( r = 0). In fact, (24) predicts that the z -component of the induced field is exactly zero at r = 0 and that the other components are very small compared to E 0 at r = 0. The latter statements also hold true for a Gaussian beam profile, as a numerical integration shows. This is a consequence of the fact that E s arises essentially due to charge accumulation in the vicinity of the beam boundary. Thus, on the beam axis, the total electric field, E 0 + E s , is close to the Lorentz induced field E 0 . We next consider the gradient of the electric field. For activation, we are interested in the rate of change of the component of the electric field along the direction of the axon. If we regard the significant field as E 0 only, then we note that this field is perpendicular to the beam axis, while the largest component of the gradient points along the beam axis and is given by the derivative of E 0 with respect to z . If the axon is oriented at an angle with respect to the beam direction, then the component of the electric field along the direction of the axon is E 0 sin . Now the rate of change of this component along the axon direction is the derivative of E 0 sin with respect to the distance measured along the axon, which is ( ik 0 cos ) E 0 sin . The magnitude of this quantity is largest for = 45 and equals k 0 E 0 /2 = k 0 B 0 v 0 /2. In the next section, we estimate the size of E 0 and the gradient k 0 E 0 /2 for a practical example. Results and Discussion Here we estimate the peak electric field that can be safely induced using ultrasound at the upper range of diagnostic intensities. A key parameter in computing the field strength is the particle velocity generated by the ultrasonic wave. The peak particle velocity, v 0 , can be related to the peak pressure, p 0 , of the wave using the relation where is the tissue density and c 0 is the sound speed. Measurements performed by Duck [ 22 ] using two modern commercial ultrasonographic scanners have demonstrated instantaneous peak pressures in excess of 4 MPa at the focal point of the transducer. 3(Although this pressure translates into an intensity that considerably exceeds the temporally-averaged FDA limit of 0.7 W/cm 2for diagnostic systems, the instantaneous intensities are generally far higher than the latter value.) Using the values of p and c 0 for water, the above formula gives a peak particle velocity, v 0 , of 2.67 m/s. To estimate the magnitude of E 0 for a typical set of parameters, we assume a magnetic field strength of 1.5 Tesla, which is typical of whole body MRI magnets. This gives E 0 = 4 V/m. The electric field strength can, of course, be enhanced by increasing the magnetic field B 0 . Although 1.5 T is a typical MRI field strength, 3 T systems have recently become available. This field strength would double the peak electric field to E 0 = 8 V/m. It may be worth noting that a high-field magnet with a smaller bore designed to accommodate only the head would be much less costly than the whole-body machines with much larger bore diameters. In general, smaller bore magnets are also more suitable for high-field applications. Finally, the very high magnetic field homogeneity needed for imaging is not required in this application, which would further reduce costs. We next estimate the maximum gradient of the electric field, given earlier by k 0 E 0 /2. The particle velocity quoted above was measured for an instrument operating at an ultrasonic frequency of 4 MHz [ 22 ] . Using E 0 = 8 V/m, we obtain an electric field gradient of k 0 E 0 /2 = 67 kV/m 2at this frequency. This is of the same order of magnitude of the activation thresholds computed by Hsu and Durand [ 23 ] . Conclusion Although the strength of the ultrasonically-induced electric fields is about an order of magnitude below that of TMS generated fields, there are differences in the spatial and temporal character of these fields that may have some practical consequences. The first point is that the ultrasonically-induced electric field gradients are comparable to typical TMS gradients, because the ultrasonically-induced fields pass from maximum to minimum in a much shorter distance, i.e., approximately half the ultrasonic wavelength (a fraction of a millimeter). A second point is that one can exercise greater control over the temporal shape of the ultrasonically-induced electric fields compared to TMS-induced fields. For example, the excitation can be oscillatory ("polyphasic") or not (approximately "monophasic," with a sharp upgoing excursion followed by a weaker, but longer negative going excursion). Pulses can be applied in very rapid sequence, or a continuous wave can be modulated in a variety of ways. We also mentioned the possibility of using a conventional TMS coil to generate a strong, but transient, magnetic field that could be applied during the transmission of the ultrasound. That is, the function of the TMS pulse would be to bring the membrane potential near threshold, but not to exceed it. The ultrasonic pulse (or pulses) would then push the potential past threshold. One could speculate that near threshold, where the membrane nonlinearity is strong, a sinusoidal stimulus may be effective in achieving activation due to some partial rectification of the sinusoid [ 24 ] . We conclude by noting that the same technique could be used in principle to stimulate any type of excitable tissue, not just cortical tissue, including, for example, peripheral nerve tissue. Finally, it may turn out that the ultrasonically-induced fields are simply too weak for effective stimulation, although this remains to be established. Answers to these questions may have to await experimental work or further modeling of the electrophysiology of neural activation. Appendix: Derivation of the Induced Electric Field Here we wish to solve the Maxwell equation B s = 0 E s + 0 J 0 (A1) for E s where J 0 is given by (12). The problem is most easily solved by writing the magnetic and electric fields, B s and E s , in terms of vector and scalar potentials A and : B s = A (A2) E s = i A - . (A3) Substituting (A2) and (A3) into (A1) and using the identity A = ( A ) - 2 A , results in ( A ) - 2 A = i 0 A - 0 + 0 J 0 . (A4) It is convenient to use the Lorentz gauge, defined by [ 25 ] which results in two uncoupled equations for the potentials A and . Substituting (A5) into (A4), we obtain 2 A + 2 A = - 0 J 0 , (A6) where 2= i 0 , and (A3) becomes upon substituting (A5) The solution to the vector Helmholtz equation (A6) is given by the following volume integral: where = (1 + i )/ and is the electromagnetic skin depth in the tissue. The exponential term in the integrand of (A8) can be replaced by unity when | r - r' |. For example, at a frequency of 1 MHz and conductivity of 0.5 S/m, we find = 71 cm. Thus, to an excellent approximation, (A8) may be replaced by: We now argue that the first term on the right-hand side of (A7) is much smaller than the second term. In fact, the magnitude of the first term is smaller than the second term by a factor of the order (/) 2, where is the ultrasonic wavelength and is the electromagnetic skin depth in tissue. This can be demonstrated rigorously for the case of the ideally-collimated ultrasonic beam treated in the main text, but a plausibility argument can be given as follows. The term ( A ) in (A7) indicates terms that are second derivatives of the spatial dependence of the ultrasonic beam, which will be of the order A . Then the ratio of the first term in (A7) to the second term is 0 / = 2/(2 2 2), where is the skin depth and = 2/ k 0 is the ultrasonic wavelength. At an ultrasonic frequency of 1 MHz, this ratio is on the order of 10 -6. Thus, neglecting the first term in (A7), we have Next, substituting (12) into (A9), we see that the only non-zero component of A is its y -component, i.e., A = A y , so that (A9) becomes on writing the variables in cylindrical coordinates: We now employ the expansion of 1/| r - r' | in cylindrical coordinates [ 26 ] : where I m () and K m () are the modified Bessel functions of the first and second kind of order m . In (A12), r < is the smaller of r and r' , and r > is the larger. Substituting (A12) into (A11), interchanging orders of integration, and performing the ' integral, only the m = 0 term survives, giving Next the integration with respect to z' is performed by noting that where () is the Dirac delta function. Substituting this into (A13) and integrating with respect to k gives: For brevity, we write this as A y ( r , z ) = B 0 v 0 0 A ( r ) , (A16) where Noting that A = A y , we have Finally, substituting this into (A10) and noting that , we obtain (13)-(15). Footnotes 1Fry appears to have been the first person to propose using ultrasound to stimulate the brain, although by means of a very different mechanism [ 4 ] . His idea was to transmit ultrasound in the presence of an oscillating electric field of the same frequency. The periodic variation of the electrical conductivity of the tissue created by the slight variation in thermal expansion arising from the oscillating sound wave would, in principle, produce a partial rectification of the applied field, resulting in a small amount of unidirectional electric current. The resulting unidirectional charge transfer, Fry speculated, could stimulate neural tissue. However, to succeed, the method requires extremely intense ultrasonic pulses (from 10 to 50 kW/cm 2) and a very strong electric field (producing current densities on the order of amps/cm 2). As far as this author is aware, Fry's method has not been tried. 2A great deal has been written on the subject of what temporal and spatial features of the stimulating fields are responsible for activation. Early work by Rattay suggested that the "activation function," essentially the gradient of the electric field along the axis of the axon, is a key contributor [ 6 ] . Other researchers pointed out that this gradient is determined not only by the variations in the impressed field, but also by conductance variations in the axon due to bends, terminations and other departures from a straight line that may perturb the local boundary conditions. Also, the shape and duration of the stimulating pulse play an important role. It has been noted that the time and space dependence of the activating function mutually interact in a way that may make the effects of each difficult to treat independently [ 13 14 ] . 3Note that we are assuming that the maximum intensity occurs at the focal point of the transducer. This is generally true if the ultrasound is sufficiently focused, but may not be true for a weakly focused transducer when the beam passes through an intervening medium that is very attenuating (such as the skull). Background The rate of reproductive development and the onset of fertility are influenced by an array of environmental factors that can be broadly grouped as physical, nutritional, and social [ 1 ] . Chief among social cues in mammals are priming pheromones that can retard or accelerate sexual development within constraints of factors such as photoperiod and nutritional status of the individual. Subsequent to early studies that established the pheromonal qualities of male urine to synchronize estrous cycles of laboratory mice [ 2 ] , sexual maturation in female mice was shown to be accelerated by male pheromones [ 3 ] and retarded by female pheromones [ 4 ] . Pheromonal induction of first estrus in juvenile females has been reported in a variety of other mammals including prairie voles [ 5 ] , pigs [ 6 ] , and opossums [ 7 ] . The gray short-tailed opossum ( Monodelphis domestica ), a small (60-150 g) marsupial native to scrub forests of southeastern Brazil, provides new opportunities for study of olfactory communication and pheromonal activation of reproduction. Females lack an estrous cycle and anestrous adults are dependent upon direct contact with a non-volatile male pheromone for induction of estrus [ 8 ] . Hormonal control of scentmarking and sexual behavior of this species (hereinafter, opossum) has been described in some detail [ 9 10 ] . Estrus is induced when females nuzzle scentmarks from the androgen-dependent suprasternal (chest) gland [ 10 11 ] . Nuzzling delivers nonvolatile chemical signals to the vomeronasal organ (VNO) [ 12 ] and surgical removal of the VNO prevents induction of estrus by scentmarks alone [ 13 ] , although cautery ablation of the VNO fails to prevent ovarian activation and ovulation in females that are caged with adult males [ 14 ] . While anestrous adults are reliant on male pheromone for reproductive activation, spontaneous postlactational estrus occurs in the absence of direct contact with male pheromone [ 15 ] . Reproductive activation and the onset of estrus are monitored by cytology of the urogential sinus (UGS) [ 16 17 ] , the sexual receptive organ in marsupials that lies caudal to paired lateral vaginal canals (LVC) (Fig. 1). UGS estrus (estrus, hereinafter) is evident after 5-10 days of pheromonal exposure. Estrous females will not ovulate unless paired with a male [ 7 ] , but copulation is not required to stimulate ovulation in females caged with males [ 7 17 ] . Copulation typically occurs on the second night of paring [ 18 ] . Litters of about 8 young are born after a 15-day gestation, and young are weaned at 8 weeks of age. The onset of puberty in female opossums is strongly influenced by pheromonal and, perhaps, other social cues. An earlier study found that juvenile females isolated from all adult stimuli from 90 days of age grew to adult size (60 g) but failed to express first estrus by 180 days [ 7 ] . In contrast, all females exposed directly to male pheromones by cage switching reached first estrus at an average age of 127 days, and more than half of females individually caged (i.e., isolated from male scentmarks) and housed in a mixed sex colony expressed first estrus at 162 days, on average. This suggests that age at first estrus varied from 109 to 162 days, depending on pheromone exposure [ 7 ] . However, body mass at first estrus was remarkably close to 60 g in all females, indicating that puberty in opossums, as in most mammals, is dependent on attainment of a threshold body mass. More importantly, advancing the age of first estrus by pheromone exposure was accompanied by an apparent acceleration of somatic growth such that this critical body mass was reached at a younger age. In the present study, we compared body (somatic) growth and ovarian activity in females given daily, nuzzling contact with male scentmarks (exposed) with that in females individually caged in a mixed sex colony but isolated from direct contact with male scentmarks (unexposed). The study tested the hypothesis that females exposed to male scentmarks will have greater somatic growth and their ovaries will contain developing antral follicles in greater numbers and larger in size than those found in ovaries from females of the same age exposed only to the ambient social stimuli of the colony. Circulating levels of estradiol and mass of reproductive organs were also measured as evidence of reproductive activation. Materials and Methods Animals Juvenile female opossums (n = 28) were weaned at 56 days and individually housed at 84 days in polycarbonate cages (30 30 15 cm) in a mixed-sex colony in an American Association for Accreditation of Laboratory Animal Care-approved facility in the Botany and Zoology Building at The Ohio State University. The animal room was maintained on a 14L:10D cycle, and room temperature was 25-28C; food (Fox Reproduction Food; Milk Specialties Co., New Holstein, WI) and acidified water (pH= 4.2) were provided ad libitum . Males (n = 6 proven breeders) and females were caged individually and held on different shelving racks, separated by at least 2 m. Incidental transfer of pheromones in male scentmarks to females was avoided by handling females and their cages prior to handling males or male cages. All procedures relating to care and use of opossums in this study were described in protocols approved by the Institutional Laboratory Animal Care and Use Committee at The Ohio State University. Experimental Design This study utilized three timepoints identified in previous studies as key stages in pheromonal induction of first estrus in juvenile females: 109 days - the youngest age recorded for pheromonal induction of estrus 127 days - the average age of first estrus in juveniles exposed to male pheromone 150 days - the recognized age for first use in routine breeding and litter production, i.e. the age at which most females will respond to male pheromone with expression of estrus Unexposed females were isolated from direct contact with males and male scentmarks and randomly selected for necropsy at 90 (n = 4), 105 (n = 4), 130 (n = 5), and 150 days (n = 5). Exposed females were given continuous access to adult male scentmarks from 90 days and randomly selected for necropsy at 105 (n = 5) and 130 days (n = 5). The 90 day old group provided baseline data for assessment of development in both unexposed and exposed animals. Data from unexposed females killed at 105, 130, and 150 days provided a basis for evaluating the effects of male pheromone on somatic growth and reproductive activation during pheromonal induction of first estrus in exposed females. Exposed females were only examined through 130 days because we expected they would have attained sexual maturity and expressed first estrus by then [ 7 ] , making them developmentally comparable to unexposed females at 150 days. Scentmarks, containing estrus-inducing pheromone, were collected by rubbing 4 sides of a 7-ml glass vial on the suprasternal gland of an unrelated male. The vial was then inverted and screwed into a stand and placed daily in each female's cage [ 15 ] . Females actively nuzzle the scentmarked vials, particularly during the first 5 minutes of exposure [ 11 ] . UGS smears were collected with a saline-moistened cotton swab every 1-3 days [ 15 ] . Body mass was recorded when smears were collected and growth rates (g/week) were calculated for each age and treatment group as the mass gained between the beginning of exposure (day 90) and necropsy. Blood and Organ Collection and Analyses Blood samples were collected by cardiac puncture at necropsy and the plasma stored at -20C. Final body mass and total body length were also recorded at this time. Ovaries, uteri, and LVC were removed, trimmed of connective tissue, weighed, and fixed in phosphate buffered formalin. Fixed ovaries were embedded in Paraplast R, cut into 8 m serial sections, mounted on slides, and stained with Lillie's Allochrome stain. All histological sections of both ovaries collected at necropsy were examined for antral follicles, which were recognized by the presence of one or more fluid-filled cavities lined with granulosa cells. Atretic follicles were identified by the presence of 5 or more pyknotic nuclei in granulosa cells, leukocytes in the antrum, and loosening or degeneration of the mural layer of granulosa cells. Antral follicles not exhibiting these obvious indications of atresia were classified as developing. The proportion of total antral follicles per female that was atretic was used as an index of atresia (atresia, hereinafter). The diameter of each antral follicle was recorded as the average of 2 perpendicular diameters measured at 10X with an ocular reticle in the section containing the oocyte nucleolus or the largest oocyte nucleus. Mean diameters of developing and atretic follicles per individual animal were the basis for comparison between groups. Estradiol concentrations in plasma were measured with a RIA validated for female opossum plasma in our laboratory [ 19 ] . The antiserum, a gift from R.L. Butcher, West Virginia University, Morgantown, was raised in a ewe against 1,3,5 (10)-estratrien-3,17-diol 3 hemisuccinate-human serum albumin. Cross reactivity of the antiserum was limited to 12% with estrone, and 3% with estriol [ 20 ] . Sensitivity of the assay is 2 pg/200 l; intra- and interassasy coefficients of variation averaged 6.9% and 13.7%, respectively. Variation in body length; body mass; gain in body mass; number, size, and atresia of antral follicles; plasma estradiol concentrations; and organ mass were analyzed using mixed models method [ 21 ] : Y ij = + T i = e ij where Y ij is the dependent variable, is the overall mean, T i is the fixed effect of the i thtreatment (i = 1,..,6), and e ij is the residual error. Heterogeneity of subclass error variance was assessed using a likelihood ratio test [ 21 ] . The model was fitted with Proc Mixed of SAS (V8.1). A mixed model allows for the direct representation of heterogeneity of variance (hence the name Generalized Least-Squares - GLS) and, therefore, does not require transformation of the dependent variable to restore homogeneity of variance, as is necessary for ordinary least-squares methods. Linear a priori contrasts were used for comparing: (1) unexposed vs. exposed at 105 days; (2) unexposed vs. exposed at 130 days; (3) unexposed at 90 vs. unexposed at the three older ages, (4) unexposed at 105 vs. unexposed at the two older ages, and (5) unexposed at 130 vs. 150 days. Differences in the size distribution of follicles were tested with a Chi-squared test. For all analyses, the level of significance was P < 0.05. Mean values are expressed standard error of the mean (SEM). Results Three of four exposed females expressed estrus by 130 days; a fourth was in proestrus, and the fifth remained anestrous. The mean age at estrus was 127.7 1.4 days, and exposed females weighed more than unexposed females at both 105 days and 130 days, (P < 0.05, Table 1). None of the unexposed females expressed estrus during the study, even though 2 weighed more than 60 g at 150 days. Body mass and total body length increased with age in both exposed and unexposed females, but growth was faster in females exposed to male pheromone from 90 days. Exposed females gained more body mass than unexposed females (4.3 + 0.7 vs. 2.2 + 0.5 g/week at 105 days, P < 0.05) (Table 1). Growth curves for the 10 females monitored until necropsy at 130 days revealed more rapid growth in exposed than in unexposed females after 115 days, with differences in body mass evident (P < 0.05) by 123 days (Fig. 2). The number of developing antral follicles per female exceeded those that were atretic in all but three females in the study. The average diameter of developing and atretic follicles within groups was similar (data not shown). Overall, follicular atresia averaged 0.37 0.02 and did not differ with age or pheromone exposure (P > 0.05). Therefore, data are reported for developing antral follicles only. Follicles apparently first reach the antral stage in unexposed juvenile females near 90 days, because antral follicles were observed in only two of the four females examined at this age. One of these females had 3 atretic follicles and the other had 6 developing follicles. The average number of developing antral follicles in unexposed females increased to 10.8 1.7 at 105 days (P < 0.05) and to 17.7 2.6 at 130 days but did not differ by pheromone exposure within these age groups (Table 1). Mean follicular diameter in unexposed females increased between 105 and 130 days (P < 0.05), but overall (90 to 150 days), the age-related increase in size was relatively small. Pheromone exposure was associated with increased follicle size at both 105 and 130 days (P < 0.05, Table 1). Also, the size distribution of follicles in exposed females at 130 days was markedly different from that observed in other groups (Fig. 3); 27% were 550 m or larger. Plasma estradiol concentrations were low (< 15 pg/ml) in most females. Mean concentrations per group varied from 4.4 2.0 to 11.3 3.4 pg/ml but did not differ by age or pheromone exposure. The highest concentration (21.7 pg/ml) was measured in plasma from an estrous female with 6 large (> 650 m), developing follicles. The effect of male pheromone on sexual maturation was most apparent in the increased size of uteri and LVC collected from exposed females. Mean uterine mass was higher in exposed than unexposed females at 130 days (P < 0.05), and the LVC of exposed females were larger at both 105 and 130 days (Figs. 1, 4). Discussion This study demonstrates that exposure of juvenile females to pheromone from a single source, the male suprasternal gland, accelerates ovarian follicular development and first estrus. One of the more interesting findings of this study is that the size distribution of developing follicles in unexposed females remained relatively stable from 105 through 150 days, seldom exceeding 450 m in diameter (Fig. 3). The pattern was distinctly different in exposed females at 130 days wherein nearly half (34/71) of the follicles exceeded 500 m in diameter and 10% were larger than 600 m, similar to the largest antral follicles (0.67 mm) in superovulated opossums [ 22 ] . This increased size of developing follicles in exposed opossums is similar in magnitude to that seen in the pre-Graafian follicles of rats between diestrus and proestrus [ 23 ] . Prepubertal pine voles exposed to male urine also showed an increase in the number of largest follicles, but with no change in atresia [ 24 ] , as in our study. Juvenile females in this study were exposed to male scentmarks from the age of 90 days, but they did not express first estrus until 130 days, much longer than the average of 7 days required for pheromonal induction of estrus in adults. In other respects, however, first estrus in juveniles is similar to pheromone-induced estrus in adults. Plasma concentrations of estradiol in opossums are low (<15 pg/ml) during anestrus and are elevated (>20 pg/ml) only during estrus [ 15 ] . Mean plasma estradiol concentrations as high as 58 pg/ml have been reported in estrous females [ 25 ] , but a gradual increase in circulating estradiol during pheromonal induction of estrus in opossums has not been described. Therefore, it is not surprising that estradiol concentrations measured in single samples collected at necropsy did not correlate with reproductive status in this experiment. The one female killed at estrus, however, did have the highest plasma estradiol concentration as well as the heaviest reproductive organs. Evidence of the stimulatory effect of male pheromone on sexual maturation of juvenile females was seen most clearly in the large increase in mass of the LVC and uteri of exposed females at 130 days, and although not reflected in plasma estradiol levels, classic estrogenic effects of male pheromone exposure are evident in the increased mass of these reproductive organs. Juvenile and adult prairie voles exhibit a similar response to male stimuli. For example, a one-hour exposure to an adult male stimulated, within 48 hours, increases in uterine mass that lasted for 10 days or more [ 5 ] . Uterine mass also remained elevated 3-4 days after estrus in the two metestrous females in this study, even though their plasma estradiol concentrations were low at the time of necropsy. The mean age at estrus, 127.7 1.4 days, although based on a small sample (n = 3), is very similar to that recorded (126.7 2.5) in our previous study [ 7 ] in which females were exposed to multiple potential sources of male pheromone, e.g. urine, feces, and scentmarks, through cage switching. The increased growth rate in females suggested in our previous experiment was confirmed in the present study. Some of the increase in body mass might be due to estrogen-stimulated edema, as adult females experience a 4-6% gain in body mass during induced estrus [ 15 ] . However, an increased growth rate (g/wk) was evident as early as 105 days in exposed females who would not be expected to express first estrus or the associated changes in body composition until approximately 130 days. (Table 1). Sixty grams is confirmed as a critical body mass for induction of estrus in juvenile female opossums as identified in our previous study [ 7 ] . Somatic growth and attainment of a threshold body mass or energy reserves are known requisites for puberty in many mammals including the tammar wallaby [ 26 ] , sheep [ 27 28 ] , and several species of rodents [ 1 ] , but these factors seldom act independently of environmental factors such as photoperiod [ 26 27 ] or social cues [ 3 29 ] . The opossum is unusual in this regard, because social cues in the form of male pheromone appear to stimulate both somatic growth and ovarian activation. Moreover, this growth response marks a difference between pheromonal acceleration of puberty in opossums and that which is well-documented in mice, wherein females paired with males ovulate at a lower body mass (< 20 g) than that of isolated females (> 20 g) [ 30 31 ] . Our findings provide the critical descriptive groundwork for further investigations into the physiological pathways and underlying mechanisms involved in pheromonal regulation of somatic and sexual maturation in opossums. The fact that pheromonal stimulation of both follicular and somatic growth was evident as early as 105 days makes it difficult to say, with any certainty, whether pheromones affect these phenomena by independent or interacting pathways. Pheromone exposure activates the hypothalamo-pituitary-gonadal (HPG) axis as evidenced in increased plasma LH in opossums [ 32 ] and voles [ 33 ] , and ovarian activation and subsequent steroid hormone production could stimulate somatic growth indirectly by effects on growth hormone and fat deposition, or alterations in metabolism and appetite. Alternatively, in addition to stimulating the HPG axis, male pheromones could act centrally to alter neuroendocrine control of growth and metabolism (e.g. via growth hormone releasing hormone, thyroid hormone releasing hormone, or corticotrophin releasing hormone). Future studies that control for estrogenic effects of ovarian activation, food availability, and body growth during the relatively protracted period of pheromonal induction of first estrus offer promise for extending our understanding of the role of social and environmental signals on body growth and sexual maturation. March 15, 2000 Dear Habitat Partner, As you know, just a few short weeks from now, families everywhere will be celebrating Mother's Day, honoring mothers in ways that have become so familiar to all of us over the years. There'll be greeting cards filled with loving sentiments, and brightly wrapped gifts, too. There'll also be long-distance phone calls from the children. Or maybe even dinner for Mom at a local restaurant. And for those whose mothers are now deceased, there'll be moments of remembrance and prayer expressing gratitude to God for a lifetime's worth of love and protection - as a newfound appreciation of the Mother's Day gestures-that come from their own children. Just about everyone I know has experienced these kinds of things over the years to mark this day. But today, I am asking you to be even more aware of Mother's Day this year, and what it means to women and children in need. Because I doubt that you have ever encountered a mother like the Pensacola, Florida, woman I want to tell you about. Nor have you experienced a Mother's Day ending that is so glorious as this one. And when I'm finished telling you her incredible story, I'm hoping you will see your way clear to send Habitat for Humanity a generous tax-deductible contribution to help make the same kind of joyous ending possible for so many other mothers and their families who have the same urgent need for a simple, decent house and the sense of hope that goes along with it. Before I tell you more about that remarkable woman in Pensacola, however - a woman named Wanda Rudolph whose love, compassion and sense of generosity ought to be an example to everyone -I want to tell you just a little bit about what every mother trying to go it alone with her children on a marginal (or worse) income is facing. Put plainly, there is no way to overstate the alarm everyone in America ought to feel over the fact that childhood poverty, despite our nation's skyrocketing wealth, is still on the increase! Nor can I overstate the fear that every low-income mother throughout the United States and around the world must carry with her every day: that the consequences of poverty will ultimately catch up with her children, too. Consequences of poverty include inadequate nutrition and its effects, such as the real possibility of slow mental development. Or the childhood maladies left untreated because there is no money for a doctor. Or the terrible cycle of poor self-esteem, bad study habits, unfulfilled potential, and a life ultimately lived without hope. In the United States, we have a rate of childhood poverty that is higher -sometimes two or three times higher -than other major western industrialized nations. More than one-fifth of the children in this rich nation live in poverty. Indeed, while many Americans grew wealthier during the 1980s and 1990s, the rate of childhood poverty in America was actually rising by 20 percent! This tragic background brings me to the story of Wanda Rudolph of Pensacola, Florida, who made a courageous decision on behalf of her family a year ago. A 26-year-old single mother, Wanda was already up against the hard economic realities presented by three young children. More than five years of working at a local fast food chain had allowed her to keep food on the table and pay the rent for the small two-bedroom apartment they shared, but not much more. Things were certainly not easy, but Wanda was determined to give her kids the very best life she could, just like her own mother had for her, a mother Wanda describes as a wonderful role model. "We may not have had everything that we wanted or we'd seen other people have, but she made sure we had the necessary things that we needed. And she was always there for us;" Wanda says of her mother. In fact, long after Wanda was on her own, her mother was still being a role model, and still being there for her family. For she had taken in the children of Wanda's deeply troubled sister, rather than see them separated and shuffled off to foster care. There were seven children - but they were family, and Wanda's mother, even though she was getting on in years, was determined to keep them together, no matter how difficult it would be financially. And then, a year ago this past December, disaster happened in a family that didn't need any more trouble. Wanda's mother passed away, and Wanda had a decision to make. It was a decision made with a mother's heart. Rather than giving her sister's children to Social Services - to strangers - Wanda chose to take on the responsibility of raising them herself, knowing full well that the likelihood of her sister coming back into the picture as a fulltime mother was not a strong one, at all. It was a decision made not only with love, but with courage. And the situation Wanda then found herself in bore that out. Can you imagine trying to raise ten children in a two-bedroom apartment? Can you imagine what it must be like - never mind the financial pressures - of just trying to live? Can you see the bunkbeds and mattresses on the floor that put seven of the kids(as young as two and as old as 12) in the same bedroom? Or the mealtimes that have the entire family trying to find a place to sit and balance their plates while eating wherever they can find a place? Or the demands placed on one bathroom by a family of eleven? Or the virtual impossibility of finding a quiet place to study or even think, so that the children can cope in school and one day have a chance of achieving something better? Or the seemingly impossible task of trying to keep such a crowded home neat and clean? Well, if you can imagine these things, I know you can imagine that even in the atmosphere of love that Wanda created, the children began to have trouble. Problems at school and at home began to surface as the children reacted to the pressures of their crowded living situation, and their emotions such as pain and anger at having been abandoned by their mother. Homework went undone. Fights began to occur at home. The phone repeatedly began to ring at Wanda's new job with calls from school because another of the children was having problems. Worst of all, Wanda had to deal with this worsening problem as she was trying to succeed at her new job. Her anxiety level rose every time the telephone rang. But because of the compassion and generosity shown by Habitat partners like you, Wanda's prayers were suddenly answered - she was approved for a Habitat house -the kind of miracle that people who grow up in Wanda's world never seriously hope for, let alone expect. And Wanda's miracle isn't just the house, which will make it possible for the children to achieve some privacy and basic space from one another. That will only be the first step toward healing the pain of having been abandoned several times, neglected, and denied the happy childhood that should be every child's birthright. As Wanda explains: "They've been shipped from places, from home to home...and I think they missed out on things they shouldn't have, like having their birthdays celebrated. They didn't get to do all that, and they should. Mom was too old to try to do it, so I give them that chance. This past year, even though it was kind of hard, we always made sure they had a birthday party. And this year was the first time they ever got to go to the county fair." I'm trying now with counseling to get them to get along with each other, and to let them go out and be with their friends and do the stuff that I did as a child. But I'm also trying to teach them that they have to earn what they get, and to be part of making sure their lives are better." That's all I want, for them to be better. So I can feel like they're going to accomplish something, and be fine on their own." And the first step toward accomplishing something, of course, is learning that it's possible - growing up experiencing home ownership as a fact of daily life ...knowing there's a quiet place to study ...having your friends over to play without being embarrassed about where you live. But this new awareness of life's possibilities isn't confined to children, by any means. The adults feel it, too - especially the single mothers who have accomplished something of extreme difficulty, changing their family's economic prospects on their own, in a country that still makes that harder for a woman than for a man, while still filling all the roles that go with the blessed title of "mother." And as I talk to women homeowners all over the country, I am always mindful of how very much they see the Habitat experience from exactly this perspective -as mothers. For each day they see the lives of their children constantly enriched by living in a community of people who helped build their house, as others had helped them. Is it any wonder they go to bed every night with prayers of thanks for what is now possible for their children? And you can be sure that there are also prayers of thanks in their hearts for the people like you who made it possible. Wanda is as aware as any mother can be about the new possibilities you create, which she calls a "wonderful" thing to know. "I told all my friends about Habitat and how it works. When I hear them talk about how they'll never own their own home, I tell them there's hope for us, that I'm living proof and everything I've prayed on every night has been answered." You're a part of those answered prayers. That's why I hope you will take special delight in knowing that on the day Wanda's new Habitat house is dedicated, your loving spirit will be felt on that joyous occasion. I hope you'll think of Wanda and other mothers' prayers and dreams this Mother's Day. And more than that, I hope you'll also think about what it will mean for them to have a simple decent home for their kids. Your continued generosity can help change a desperate mother's life. And in tribute to all of the precious mothers in your own life, I hope you will share your love with mothers in need the world over today. Bless you! In joyous partnership, Millard Fuller Founder and President P.S. May you be blessed, today and always, as you so generously share your blessings with others. For your timely reply, you have my deepest thanks. November 27, 1990 Name Address City, ST Zip Dear Name: This is absolutely the last time that I will ask you to please donate a million dollars to the IUPUI Geology Alumni Fund. That is, this is the last such request that will be penned from the Cavanaugh Hall address. Next year at this time, my letter of solicitation will have a new address, the address of the new Science building on Michigan Street. We expect to leave Cavanaugh Hall and move into the new building in mid- summer 1991. So this solicitation marks that special occasion, the end of one era and the beginning of a new era. I feel sure that you will want to be one of that special group of donors who responded to this last solicitation from Cavanaugh Hall. Again, let me assure you that we would appreciate receiving one million dollars from you and each of our 161 alumni. But let me also assure you that we would appreciate equally well any contribution you are able to make. Whatever you can contribute, you will be helping to support Geology at IUPUI. This past year, alumni contributions were used to provide awards to Geology students on Honors Day, to pay partial support for an undergraduate student to attend a special Geomorphology Conference in New York, to augment the principal in the Geology Alumni Undergraduate Scholarship, and to award partial tuition support to the student awarded the Alumni Scholarship. We really do appreciate your efforts, whatever amount you can contribute. Your tax-deductible contribution may be sent in the enclosed postage-paid envelope with the attached return card. Sincerely, Arthur Mirsky Chairman October 1, 1991 Dear Friends of Herron Gallery, In early September you received an annual appeal from Herron. Don't forget that you need to respond to renew your Friends membership and keep your name on the Gallery's mailing list. Otherwise, you'll miss receiving the new quarterly Chronicle newsletter, the special exhibition opening invitation, a Janus Ball invitation and advance notice of the Visiting Artist lectures and the exciting activities planned to celebrate Herron's 90th birthday. Enclosed is another renewal card. Return the completed card with your check by October 15 to receive an invitation to a special artist dinner on November 8. I hope you'll renew your donation to the Herron Gallery and join us for another year of terrific contemporary happenings. Sincerely, Dorit Paul President, Friends of Herron Gallery September 15, 1992 Name Address City, ST Zip Dear Mr. Name: The space age began with the launch of Sputnik in October 1957. This remarkable accomplishment happened during the first semester of my junior year at DePauw University where, by sheer coincidence, I was being severely challenged by an "Introduction to Classical Mechanics," where I was studying the equations of gravity and orbital motion as taught by Dr. Correll. Believe me, I never dreamed that some 25 years later my life would depend on my precise understanding of real-time solutions to these same equations. Had I known such strange events would occur, I assure you I would have spent much more time studying physics in Minshall Lab and less time playing bridge in the Hub. The point is, the liberal arts education you and I received at DePauw gave us the tools to learn, and I'm convinced, instilled in us the curiosity to keep learning. In our changing world, the sky is no longer the boundary to our travels. In our changing world, there are likewise no boundaries to where a DePauw education can lead us. That's why I'm writing to you and asking for your help in this year's Annual Fund. Why should we support DePauw? Simply stated, we must offer the 2,100 students now enrolled at the University those same opportunities to develop skills they will need to meet ever-moving challenges. Through our support of the Annual Fund, you and I can help continue the educational tradition we enjoyed --a strong foundation for a lifetime of continued learning and growth. There is no doubt in my mind that the pop quizzes my dad, Professor "Perk" Allen, gave his accounting students served an important purpose. His lesson of "be prepared: real life will test you every day" was carried by each of his students into their individual careers. It is practical advice that remains true today. Is a liberal arts education still sufficient? Some argue that the growing pace of technology makes a liberal arts education less valuable in the '90s. I believe just the opposite. A liberal arts education is even more valuable today precisely because technology outdates itself so rapidly. The ability to keep learning, to keep discovering, and to keep inventing becomes even more important if we are to compete in tomorrow's world. For example, when I was at DePauw, the most "technical" educational experience I can remember was visiting the IBM plant east of Greencastle to observe the manufacture of computer cards. This was the future! Yet those cards quickly became obsolete as computers shrank in size and new data-handling technologies were invented. Today we can readily buy lap-top computers with data storage capacity far greater than that entire IBM factory could have offered. Yes, as a science student at DePauw I did learn the methods of mathematics and the mechanics of physics. More importantly, I remember that professors like Dr. Gass and Dr. Cook also taught us to persevere in the face of occasional failures and instilled in us the confidence to tackle complicated-sounding subjects -- subjects which might be difficult to learn, but which could yield great rewards. And coaches like Mike Snavely and Charlie Erdmann taught us about the importance of teamwork, not only on the playing field but in the classroom and in the dormitories, fraternities and sororities during the course of our daily lives as undergraduates. Your memories are probably very similar. Regardless of when you studied in Greencastle, the fact is that the only way we can keep up with changes of today's world is to possess the energy and the ability to continue learning. Through some 30 years so far, my DePauw education hasn't let me down. The challenges I face today in applying new technology in the manufacturing of low-cost space products depend upon my ability to keep learning. Believe it or not, the wondrous Sputnik satellite of 1957 compares to a 1990s communications satellite as those obsolete IBM computer cards compare to modern disk storage units. You have your own special memories and reasons to support DePauw, but we are all members of the DePauw family of friends, classmates and special professors. My closeness to the University is strengthened by a family legacy which goes back over 100 years to my great-great-grandfather, Professor William F. Swahlen, who taught Greek at Indiana Asbury from 1887-1914, and carried on with my great-grandfather, Joseph P. Allen '97; my mother, Harriet Taylor Allen '28; my father, Joseph P. "Perk" Allen '30, professor emeritus of economics; my brother, Dr. David T. Allen '61; my wife, Bonnie Darling Allen '61; and continues today with my nephew, Tim Allen '92. Like mine, your ties to DePauw are a part of a proud tradition on a campus where the sense of history is treasured. And these ties, coupled with our classroom experience, are a valuable part of our DePauw education. We must pass this tradition along. Our generous gifts to the Annual Fund will give today's students the opportunities that older alumni shared with us by making their gifts to the Fund. This year, your Class of 1943 celebrates its golden anniversary, and it's time once again to reminisce about your days at DePauw. Please consider making a special gift this year in honor of your reunion and those special memories. Your support will make a difference. I really believe that our support of DePauw does matter. The DePauw classes of 1993, 1994, 1995 and 1996 can make a difference in today's world. They matter, and our support to them matters. We must invest in their future and ours. Sincerely, Joseph P. "Joe" Allen '59 October 1, 1992 Name Address City, ST Zip Dear Name: Since 1981, the Geography Department at IUPUI has graduated 67 geographers. There have been so many changes to the IUPUI campus and your department that you and your fellow graduates might not recognize them. A major development of national significance has provided much prestige to the IUPUI Geography Department. The city of Indianapolis decided to develop a massive geographic information system (GIS) called Indianapolis Mapping and Geographic Infrastructure System (IMAGIS) in which the Geography Department and the University were invited to participate. Four city agencies and four private corporations banded together with the university to develop an accurate multipurpose computer map of Marion County. The university manages the consortium in exchange for the privilege of being able to carry out geographic teaching and research on the system. The Laboratory of Applied Spatial Information Research (LASIR) was established as the university's interface with IMAGIs. Faculty research and GIS courses are conducted in LASIR. You might be interested in checking out the facilities. Your department has been recognized by The National Geographic Society which has granted over $350,000 to be matched by state funds to develop geographic education in the state of Indiana. The Geographic Education Network of Indiana, Inc. (GENI) manages the statewide project from the IUPUI Geography Department. GENI organizes teacher workshops for K-12 teachers and assists them in developing geography teaching materials for classroom use. GENI also promotes the expansion of geography in teacher training curriculums and in K-12 curriculums. This year, there are over 40 geography majors at IUPUI. They must compete with hundreds of other students for limited financial aid. For the first time, however, the department has received a $1000 gift to begin a scholarship fund to benefit geography students only. $1000 is very generous, but in order to preserve a scholarship, it must be invested. An endowment of $10,000 would allow the department to award needy geography majors small, but very important scholarships--every year. You can help in several ways. Most obviously, you can make a personal gift to the IUPUI Geography Alumni Scholarship. If $1000 seems like a lot, please consider a gift in an amount you can afford. Perhaps $100 is more to your liking or, perhaps, you would be interested in making several smaller gifts during the year. Any contributions are tax deductible from both federal and Indiana state taxes. Please send your contributions to the IU Foundation, IUPUI Geography Department Scholarship Fund, with the enclosed card in the self-addressed envelope. Please contact me if you have any questions. Sincerely, Rick Bein Chair P.S. Especially appealing, for you and the department, is the fact that a number of alumni work for companies that will match their gifts--sometimes as much as three to one. If you do, and you make a gift of perhaps $50 your company's match could raise the value of your gift to $100, $150 or $200! That makes a big difference in the amount available to establish a scholarship to benefit geography majors. Enclosure August 4, 1993 Dear Classmates of 1943: The time of our 50th reunion is rapidly approaching - we'll be celebrating that event in Bloomington September 16 - 18. By now, you should have received registration materials for the Fall Alumni Dental Conference. If you have not, please call the IU Alumni Association (317-274-8828) right away. Our class, along with 9 other reunion classes, has been challenged to support a program which will directly benefit IUSD students. Remember the student lounge which we enjoyed so much - where we played euchre with some of our teachers. Healy, Boyd, Buck, Humphries, Boesinger and others - where some ate their lunches and ... some even studied? Well, the student lounge today is much larger and in a different location, and it badly needs upgrading so that it can be a more comfortable place for students to break the tension of their heavy academic load (much heavier than what we experienced). Together, I think we can make a contribution to that upgrading of the lounge which will be very meaningful for the students. I have sent a check for $100 and hope that you will consider a like gift or more. By the way, it must have been 20 years ago or more when I was a member of the faculty that the dean told me they were going to refurnish our old student lounge and asked if I would like to have one of the old octagon shaped oak tables. They were pretty beat up and the tops well covered with carvings of teeth, initials, etc. He said that I might "midnite requisition" one. Well, I did and sometime later removed it to my cottage in Canada and used decopor (a thick, clear glazed resin) on the top. I think it is preserved forever. Anyway, I treasure that table. Someone carved (expertly) "43" on it. A well carved "C. F. Pope" appears on it as does "Bob Bergman '43". Also carved on the top are the Greek letters of all three fraternities. It's obvious from the beautiful carvings of teeth on the surface that we had a good instruction in dental anatomy. Someone made it possible for us to have the benefit of that lounge which I'm sure you can all still picture in your minds. By contributing to the upgrading of today's student lounge, we have the opportunity to, in a small way, provide a part of the memories of IU that will last a lifetime. You may recall from my earlier letter regarding our 50th reunion that a room in the Union Building has been reserved for our use following the banquet on Friday. A bartender will be available and we will have a chance to enjoy reminiscing the equivalent of our four academic years together and the happenings during the time that has transpired since our graduation 50 years ago. Hope you will be present. TO: Our Campus Colleagues FROM: The IUPUI Campus Campaign Steering Committee DATE: February 5, 1994 SUBJECT: Partners in Progress: Assuring the Future In 1993, IUPUI staff and faculty came together as a community of partners -- supporting programs and issues we believe in. Scholarships were enhanced or established. The new library received a significant vote of pride and partnership, with contributions coming from all areas of the campus. Many offices were able to create special staff development funds and other enhancements as a result of the campaign. Through the efforts of about 300 volunteers, nearly $89,000 was raised through the IUPUI Campus Campaign. Almost 900 of us made new gifts in support of the things we care about. Together with those who were already donors, there are over 1,350 staff and faculty supporting the work of IUPUI with their gifts. Your efforts on behalf of IUPUI are resulting in changes--some dramatic, others more subtle. This year IUPUI is celebrating 25 years in partnership. Yet our roots go much deeper. The School of Physical Education is oldest at 114. The School of Law celebrates a century, and Medicine is 90. Every department and program that make up this community called IUPUI has a treasured and valued history .The IUPUI Campus Campaign celebrates our partnership and helps us, as individual members of that partnership, to assure the future. With this letter, we are asking you to take the opportunity of the Campus Campaign to consider how you can help IUPUI be what you want it to be. A group of your colleagues recently volunteered to help set the priorities for this campaign. They surveyed members of the staff and faculty councils, administrators and others and learned that we at IUPUI have a number of vital concerns. One is staff and faculty development. Resources for this purpose are limited or non-existent. And yet we all recognize the need to invest in professional growth and development. Students are another area of interest (what would we do without them--and some of us are them). The IUPUI Staff Council scholarship, awarded for the first time last summer, is the direct result of the Campus Campaign. And scholarship funds are in limited supply here at IUPUI, especially for the part time returning student. Additionally, the need for students to have a gathering place, a Student Center, is perceived by most to be critical. The new Library remains on the list--it is at the heart of the academic community and will require increased and ongoing support for acquisitions and other needs. The campus' Shape the Future Fund is designed to address unexpected opportunities. It will provide the flexibility IUPUI needs that state appropriations cannot. In many ways, the name describes what this campus campaign is all about. We have the chance to shape the future of IUPUI by what we choose to do here. And finally, though perhaps of most importance to you, through the Campus Campaign you can continue to make your gift to any IUPUI program that matters to you. Your commitment will count. When you are contacted by your Campus Campaign volunteer, we hope you'll choose to become one of the many partners in the community of IUPUI. September 21, 1994 Name Address City, ST Zip Dear Name: As one who generously supports the law school, you understand the importance of alumni contributions in providing an excellent legal education for our students. The demand for a legal education remains high, as we received 1,243 applications for our 1994 first-year class. From this applicant pool, only 250 students were selected to enroll for this fall. Last year a small number of alumni each contributed between $2,500 and $4,999 to the school. To recognize donors who have achieved this level, Dean Lefstein has now established the Black Cane Society. If the law school is to increase its endowment (currently $3.1 million) and cover all of its expenses, a strong financial response from alumni is essential. State financial support is unlikely to increase significantly during the remainder of this decade. You have been a loyal friend by contributing $1,000 annually to the law school, and we are grateful for your past support. All alumni are being asked to increase their annual level of support. If the law school is to provide necessary scholarships and services needed to compete with other public and private law schools, this year we cannot simply maintain the status quo. During August, you will be asked by a volunteer to consider making a $2,500 commitment to the law school during 1994. Your gift may be designated for the school's general endowment, a particular scholarship or program, or a combination of needs. I hope we can include your name among the list of inaugural members of the 1994 Black Cane Society. Sincerely, Henry B. ('56) and Nancy N. ('56) Blackwell Black Cane Society cc: Dean Norman Lefstein enclosure The Black Cane Society is named after the Black Cane award which is given annually by the law students to the professor who is voted to be the most outstanding classroom teacher. December 1, 1993 Dear: Birthdays are a time for celebration - a time to reflect on the past and anticipate the future. The 90th birthday of the Indiana University School of Medicine is no different. From a modest beginning to its rank today as one of the best academic medical centers in the nation, Indiana's only medical school boasts a proud heritage. It has educated two out of every three Hoosier physicians, treated hundreds of thousands of Hoosier patients, and participated in research breakthroughs which have advanced medical care far beyond Indiana's borders. Take a moment to share a few 90th birthday reflections. School of Medicine researchers and physicians have: developed treatments that turned a 90 percent mortality rate for testicular cancer into a 90 percent cure rate; pioneered echocardiography, we use of sound waves for detecting heart disease; shared in developing "smart" pacemakers, which monitor heart rhythm and automatically shock the heart when it develops irregularities; founded the world's first DNA bank, preserving genetic material for future study and diagnosis; pinpointed the defective gene in Huntington's disease and one type of Alzheimer's disease; and spearheaded the use of many New treatments for critically ill children, including infant heart transplant and special therapies for cancer. The work goes on. Soon we will construct a clinical cancer research and treatment building and a basic cancer research facility .Our heart researchers continue to improve methods of heart transplantation and treatments for arrhythmias and atherosclerosis. We are expanding diagnostic and treatment abilities with our new PET scanner. Our pediatric physicians are studying birth defects, childhood cancers, blood disorders, and bone marrow Transplant techniques, and our medical and molecular genetics research continues to unravel genetic mysteries. But adequate funding is an ongoing concern. Of the nearly $300 million a year required to operate the School of Medicine, less than 20 percent comes from state dollars. Our teaching hospitals and research programs receive no state support. Only with the help of our philanthropic partners have we been able to achieve so much. Private gifts enable us to recruit top faculty and students and continue the programs which promise the best health care for generations to come. I invite you to continue to be one of those partners. Celebrate the School of Medicine's 90th birthday with us by renewing your annual gift to the Dean's Council. It will help assure our continuing work for many birthdays to come. Sincerely, Walter J. Daly, M.D. Dean, School of Medicine Dear The BA becomes a BAJ next year. That's the plan for the School of Journalism's independence. We're moving from the College of Arts and Sciences. More than ever we will be a school within the university, with our own identity and academic mission. And yet within change there will be continuity. I want to assure you that we'll remain a close partner of the College of Arts and Sciences. We'll insist even more on the vital importance of the liberal arts for journalism majors. An IU-educated journalist will understand the ties that bind the profession to the knowledge of the past, the problems and issues of the present, the ideas of the future. In 1729 Benjamin Franklin said a journalist ought to be qualified with an extensive acquaintance with languages, a great easiness and command of writing and relating things clearly and intelligibly, and, in a few words, he should be able to speak of war both by land and sea, be well acquainted with geography, with the history of the time, with the several interests of princes and states, the secrets of courts, and the manners and customs of all nations. The essence of journalism education hasn't changed in 260 years. It's only more expensive. You can help. And you know that line was coming. But yes, you can help. Indeed, I hope you will help. We need scholarships to inspire and reward the best students. We need resources to recruit and develop outstanding teachers. We need books and newspapers and journals to create the climate of learning Franklin required. We need computers and cameras so students can master the tools of their profession. You, our alumni and friends, have helped put this School at the forefront of journalism education in this country. As we become independent, please help us strengthen the distinction of your degree. And please help us make our BAJ equal to the challenges of the 21st Century. As always, we are grateful for your support. Trevor R. Brown Dean 5 Legal Groups at 1 Locale To Serve the February 3, 2002 Vulnerable Salt Lake City Tribune BY EDWARD MCDONOUGH Five independent Salt Lake organizations that provide legal services to the poor, ethnic minorities, seniors and people with disabilities have joined together to acquire a west-side downtown building where they will have their offices. The new Community Legal Center at 205 N. 400 West is a project of "And Justice for All," which, until this venture, has been a joint fund-raising campaign by an alliance of the non-profit providers of free legal services. "And Justice for All," which solicits donations primarily from Utah lawyers and foundations, was the first joint fund-raising campaign of legal services agencies in the country, and the Community Legal Center is the first joint office project of public service law groups. The Legal Aid Society of Salt Lake, the Disability Law Center, the Multi-Cultural Legal Center, the Senior Lawyer Volunteer Project and Utah Legal Services will share the new facility, and last Wednesday their board members were given a tour of the Community Legal Center hosted by staff members of the five agencies. All of the agencies can share the same reception area and client waiting room. The building is close in, across the street from West High and two blocks from the Gateway. It has its own parking, something that's hard to find downtown and which has been a problem for staff as well as clients. Owning and sharing the building and not paying rent times five will save the non-profit agencies about $375,000 each year. My assistant, Charity Christenson, pointed out that the shared facility will also be efficient for those needing legal services. No longer will a woman desperate for a protective order, for example, have to run all over town trying to find the right agency. After the tour, we found Jaye Olafson at the cookies and brownies reception on the first floor. Jaye and her husband, Erik, own Tomax Technologies and were the sellers of the building. Jaye explained how much of the renovation had been merely uncovering what was already there. The hardwood floors, wooden ceilings and brick and stone interior walls were all hidden behind coverings and old paint. She loves the building, and they only moved out because the business had outgrown the space. So they renovated the old Sweet Candy Company building for Tomax. The Olafsons are delighted with the new owners. The building had been like home, she explained, and so it was important who would be living there. I noted on the donor list that the couple, through Olafson Group, had become one of the major supporters of the project. Stewart Ralphs, the executive director of the Legal Aid Society, explained that the Community Legal Center Campaign still has a long ways to go, with a bit more than half of the $4 million projected cost received so far. There still needed to be furnishings and office equipment and such. He promised that they would be getting in touch with us later on the subject. Date Dear Name: When the IMA unveiled Corot to Picasso: European Masterworks from the Smith College Museum of Art on February 13, it was be due in part to your support of the Museum through the Annual Campaign. Our special exhibition features a collection formed with an ambitious aim -to document the development of modem art. See Corot to Picasso now through April 30. When you support the Annual Campaign, your contribution affects every area Museum operations from grounds, building maintenance, and security to educational programs and touring exhibitions like Corot to Picasso. Your Annual Campaign contribution provides comprehensive support. In appreciation for your contribution $100 or more to the campaign, you and a guest are invited to attend a special reception on Thursday, March 23,2000 from 5:30- 8:00 PM in Herron Hall. Enjoy a wine and cheese reception following a docent-led tour of Corot to Picasso. Please consider increasing your Annual Campaign gift to $100 and join us for a special evening on March 23rd that recognizes your support of special exhibitions - mounted at the IMA for you and because of your support. If you have any questions or require further information about the Annual Campaign, please call me at 317.923.1331 extension 258. Thank you for your generous support of the Indianapolis Museum of Art. Sincerely, Linda Hardwick Director of Development & Membership P.S. Join us as we recognize your support of special exhibition -presented at the IMA for you and because of your support. Reservations are required. RSVP by March 30, 2000 to 317.923.1331, extension 268. I'm In Indianapolis again for the next few months directing A Christmas Carol and Candida, the next two main-stage shows at one of my favorite theatres, the IRT. As an associate artist of the the theatre, it's my privilege to be aware of the great thing happening at the IRT and to encourage you to give generously to see the success continue. You need to know that the IRT is talked about very favorably among theatre artists around the country. Indianapolis is truly one of the best places for actors to work for many reasons: - the artistic quality is top rate - the education programs lead the country (other theatres wish they could reach even half of the 45,000 students the IRT does) - the treatment we receive here is the friendliest and most accommodating - the IRT audiences really listen and respond For those of us who travel more than half a year, these things are just as important as salary considerations when taking an acting job. I've been affiliated with the IRT for 17 years. I started my directing career here. This place is a second home for me and I feel lucky to have it. "Hoosier hospitality" is everything they say - that's why so many artists fall in love with the IRT and keep returning. They make visiting artists happy with things such as emergency babysitting, transportation, and dinners in staff member's homes. They help us find fitness centers, yoga classes and chiropractors, they take care of our mail and packages for us. The people at the IRT and its volunteers go out of their way to make us feel like we're special residents during our stay. I also know it costs a lot of money to run a theatre company. I ask you to please give today to the IRT and help them continue the marvelous work they have been producing for 26 years. Happy Holidays, Scott Wentworth Date Name Address City, State Zip Dear Name: "But I am sure I have always thought of Christmas time, when it has come round... as a good time: a kind, forgiving, charitable, pleasant time: the only time I know of in the long calendar of the year, when men and women seem by one consent to open their shut-up hearts freely." -A Christmas Carol, by Charles Dickens As thousands of Hoosiers and visitors from the Midwest region enjoy the timeless classic of A Christmas Carol at the IRT, we give thanks for friends like you, who value the experience of live professional theatre and understand the need to support it with both attendance and donations. As a former subscriber/donor/current donor/current subscriber, you know it takes a good deal of money to bring these stories to you. We recoup 58% of that money on ticket sales, leaving 32% to be garnered from donations and gifts from friends such as yourself. As the end of the calendar year and the deadline for tax-deductible gifts approaches, I hope you will think of the IRT and make a donation this year . Every dollar counts and every gift is deeply appreciated. We need your help right now to continue to: -impact students' lives and help our teachers reach kids through our productions and educational programs. (We reach almost 50,000 students every year.) -conceive, design and hand-sew the many beautiful costumes, such as Mary Todd's period dresses in Abe Lincoln in Illinois and the ball gowns in A Christmas Carol. -hire the best actors, designers and directors from across the nation and here at home. -design the beautiful sets and have our carpenters and painters craft the final result. -continue to tell meaningful stories that bring our community together to laugh and learn from each other. It is truly the season to give. After Scrooge has been visited by the three spirits, " ...it was always said of him that he knew how to keep Christmas well, if any man alive possessed the knowledge. May that be truly said of us, and all of us!" Please give now so we can go on giving back to you and your friends and neighbors. Thank you. Sincerely, Janet Allen Artistic Director P .S. Please consider a gift to the IRT before December 31 to receive full tax deductibility for this year. Happy Holidays! The Clinton Birthplace Foundation offers full membership privileges to those who pay only $10.00 per year. This enables you to become a member of the foundation. If you choose to go this route, you will receive a quarterly newsletter, annual pass to the center and birthplace, and notification of upcoming events. I encourage you to do this, because the $10.00 is considered a tax deduction, and you will get so much in return. This also means that you will be invited when President Clinton returns for any event. You may send a check payable to the Clinton Birthplace Foundation. Thank you, Beckie Moore Executive Director Clinton Birthplace Foundation Dear Friend, Have you ever wondered why the performances of our Olympic athletes fills us with such emotion? It's because pride, dedication, sacrifice, and the will to win are embodied in all Americans. We have a uniquely American, indefinable, unshakable spirit within us which is brought to life through the performances of our Olympic athletes. Do you remember how wonderful and how proud you felt in 1980 when the young United States Hockey Team beat the powerful Soviet Team 4-3, and then went on to beat Finland 4-2 for the gold; the sight of Jim Craig skating around the arena with the American Flag draped across his back, tears of joy streaming down his face, looking for his father in the crowd; or in 1984 when 16 year old Mary Lou Retton, needing a 9.95 in her final event to tie for first place in the all around Gymnastics competition, vaulted her way to the gold by scoring a perfect 10? I remember these moments, as I'm sure you do, and I also recall many other moving performances when our athletes reached deep within themselves to overcome what appeared to be insurmountable odds. The story of our Olympic athletes is one of personal sacrifice, dedication to be the best in the world, and a desire to represent the people of the United States with pride. But, our athletes can't do it alone. The success of our athletes and America's Olympic Movement depends on the support of proud individuals like you who know what it takes to be the best. The United States Olympic Committee is funded by private donations, and provide esessential support services for our athletes on a continuing basis. These services include coaching, training facilities, housing, medical treatment, and other support which is necessary for our athletes to reach their full potential. America is the greatest nation in the world, and our athletes continually prove to the world how great a nation we truly are, thanks to the generous support of Olympic family members like you. Please accept the enclosed Olympic lapel pin as my gift, and wear it with pride. I hope you will help us continue the Olympic tradition of excellence. Sincerely, William J. Hybl President P.S. My dream is to see every American become part of the Olympic family, so please give whatever you can. Thank you in advance for your support, and I hope you enjoy your Olympic lapel pin. Your generous gift of $25 or more will earn you a Sydney T-shirt with the official Games logo! Visit our website for the latest U.S. Olympic news, athlete profiles and apparel. www.usoc.org A helping hand for helping hands INLAND VALLEY March 9, 2002 Mancy Mintie's Uncommon Good organization pays the school debts of attorneys and health-care workers dedicated to serving those less fortunate. By Joanna Corman / joanna.corman@latimes.com Linda Samels Ceballos entered Loyola Law School in Los Angeles knowing she wanted to represent the poor. She graduated in 1995 owing $58,000 in loans. She was about to run out of means to pay back those loans when she took a job at the Inner City Law Center in Los Angeles, a firm that fights slum landlords. It was there that she met Nancy Mintie. Mintie, a Claremont resident, made it possible for Ceballos to represent poor clients against wealthy landlords, a calling about as low-paying as lawyer jobs get, and pay off her loans at the same time. "It kind of stepped in at the right time," said Ceballos, who has loan payments averaging $800 a month and whose starting salary was $30,000. "Because of the program, I've been able to stay here. ... There was no way I could make that payment. I barely make it now with my regular bills." Mintie, who turns 48 this month, started Uncommon Good in December 1999. The nonprofit operation pays the debts of attorneys and health care professionals who work with the poor. It grew out of her work at the Inner City Law Center, which she founded in 1980, and often depended on the skills of young lawyers with a social conscience. In 1998, she stepped down from her role as director. Over the next year she realized she needed incentives to keep lawyers around after they got a few years of experience. Not only were there fewer attorneys entering the field of poverty law, some were being driven out of the profession. The reason: With attorneys one year out of graduate school facing an average debt of just less than $90,000 and starting salaries at legal aid organizations averaging $31,000, they couldn't afford the job. "It really had become an economic impossibility to take these jobs and survive on them," Mintie said. "That finding became the wake-up call for me and hopefully it will be the wake-up call for others in a community that cares about access to justice for the poor." Her career started more than 20 years ago in a garage behind a Catholic Worker soup kitchen on skid row in Los Angeles. She lived on a $3-a-week stipend that she spent on pantyhose and bus fare. Her law practice grew to an organization that brought in millions of dollars of damages through its cases against L.A. slumlords, allowing poor families to set up college funds and buy homes. In all those years, she never lost a case. When she stepped down, she had time to notice what was happening to the field of poverty law. "I realized with a shock that the work had really disintegrated and we had lost a whole generation of public-interest lawyers," she said. "It had gone from being an economic sacrifice as it was in my day to an economic impossibility. ... The whole system has essentially collapsed." Mintie also started to ask questions about the medical field. Almost every person who walks into a free medical clinic, she said, faces some legal problem such as an eviction or the loss of Social Security benefits. And many of her clients had medical problems from living in slum housing such as cockroaches lodged in ear canals and rat bite fever, a nonfatal malady that particularly affects children. Mintie noticed that health-care professionals were graduating with staggering debts and also couldn't afford to work with the poor. Her work was noticed by Oprah Winfrey, who invited her on the TV show March 26, 2001. Mintie received a $100,000 "Use Your Life Award" from Oprah's Angel Network, a nonprofit organization that awards money to those who help others. Mintie said that all of the money has gone to her recipients -- none was spent on overhead. She will be out of funds by spring. She is trying to get religious organizations to sponsor recipients. It is a secular organization, but one that grew out of Mintie's religious convictions. "I was raised Catholic. I think the tradition for compassion for the poor encouraged that gift in me," she said. "My faith said, 'Yes, this is right.' " She said she hopes that religious organizations see the link between their beliefs and her work. "For so long there has been such misunderstanding between the religious community and the work lawyers do for the poor. The work that we do is the purest form of expression of the core values of all of the major faith traditions." Uncommon Good has a few religious sponsors, including her church, Our Lady of the Assumption in Claremont, where Mintie plays piano daily at the 6:30 a.m. Mass. Fourteen people now receive money from Uncommon Good. Debt payments can be as low as $300 a month and as high as $2,000. Some recipients grew up poor and want to give back, while others feel the need despite having a middle-class upbringing. But a commonality among some of them was a decision all faced -- should they leave their jobs for higher-paying ones? Their low salaries and high debt payments were making it impossible to live. Recipients include Lisa Levsen, 33, a doctor who graduated from USC Medical School with $144,000 in debt and monthly loan payments of $1,200. She works as the head physician at the Los Angeles Mission, a free clinic on skid row. And William Martinez, 28, who cut his medical school studies short because he couldn't afford the $39,000 in loans after two years of graduate school and four years of college. Martinez works two jobs as a physician's assistant and supports his elderly parents and 8-year-old son. Uncommon Good has a 22-member board of doctors, lawyers and representatives of Christian groups and is recruiting mentors. One goal is to get the state Legislature to pass a law to provide loan forgiveness to medical professionals and lawyers who work with the poor. Mintie said she hopes her organization can be a national model for other professions. She is trying to bring legal aid services to the Inland Valley -- the closest legal aid office is in El Monte and represents 700,000 poor people throughout the San Fernando, San Gabriel and Inland valleys. "Unless the legal aid is in the community, you can't say you are serving the poor," Mintie said. Neal Dudovitz is the executive director of Neighborhood Legal Services of Los Angeles County, the legal aid office in El Monte. He sees attorneys new to poverty law leave all the time because they can't afford the salary with their law school debt. "She's really opened a lot of eyes in terms of having people understand how the educational debt is limiting and reducing the services that are available to low-income communities," Dudovitz said. "Nancy is light years ahead of the curve on this stuff. Very little is being done practically to solve it." Mintie, her colleagues say, could have made a lot of money in private practice. "She's very kind and pleasant," said Julius Thompson, 45, an attorney at Inner City Law Center and an Uncommon Good recipient. "But she's also a woman on a mission. When she sets her sights on something, she's a formidable force." Legal Aid Gets $7 Million on its 50th Joseph Barrios On a day it celebrated 50 years of giving free legal advice, Southern Arizona Legal Aid announced it has received two grants totaling more than $7 million. One of the grants includes the creation of a Web site with legal advice for the poor. A three-year grant worth $6.6 million and a separate technology grant were announced at a press conference and dinner held Thursday at Evo. A. DeConcini Federal Courthouse, 405 W. Congress St. Deconcini was one of the organization's early board members. Thursday's celebration was the first public even held at the courthouse. About 100 members of the legal community attended, including state Attorney General Janet Napolitano and Arizona Supreme Court Justice Thomas Zlaket. Both grants come from the Legal Services., a private, nonprofit corporation established by Congress in 1974 to offer poor people equal access to the justice system. It's funded through congressional appropriation. The $6.6 million grant will pay for staffing operations. The Web site, which will be created with a $50,000 grant, is intended to offer legal advice to poor people across Arizona, said Paul Julian, chief executive officer of Southern Arizona Legal Aid. He said he wants every poor person in Arizona to have legal help. "This is another step in trying to realize that. We feel like we do a pretty good job of helping people who find us," Julian said. Julian said that though most people do not own computers, they can still access them at libraries, schools, and courthouses. He said the Web site will help bridge the "digital divide" that keeps the poor from using the Internet as a resource. Southern Arizona Legal Aid was founded in 1951 as the Legal Aid Society of the Pima County Bar Association. It offered free legal advice on civil matters including disputes in small claims court, divorce proceedings and obtaining Social Security benefits. Charles Ares, a member of the board of directors in the 1950s, said the office was kind of a charity operation. . . . a bare bones operation" in the early years. Today, staffers and volunteer attorneys help more than 12,000 people every year. The organization has 10 offices in nine counties. The group runs a toll free Elder Hotline for people 60 and older. The group has received national acclaim for advocating American Indian causes and efforts to protect battered immigrant women. Both staffers and volunteer lawyers work in city, county, tribal, state and federal courts across the state. Organizers said the anniversary is particularly sweet because the office has survived federal funding crises while similar organizations have not. In 1995 Congress cut a third of funding to Legal Services Corp., which caused Southern Arizona Legal Aid to lose roughly a quarter of its $4 million operating budget. A Brief History Little is known of the earliest Stone Age inhabitants of Europes southwestern extremity. The ancient Greeks called them the Cynetes (or Cunetes). Whatever their origins, their culture evolved under the pressure and influence of foreign forces. Among the many invading armies that settled here and contributed to nascent Portuguese culture were Phoenicians, who settled in the area around 1,000 b.c., followed by the Celts, Iberians, Greeks, and Carthaginians. But it was the Romans, who arrived late in the third century b.c., who most greatly influenced all of Iberia. They built towns, industries, roads, and bridges, developed agriculture, and bequeathed the Latin language, of which Portuguese is a direct descendant. The Romans named the southwestern province of the peninsula Lusitania, oddly enough for one of the Celtiberian tribes they defeated, and by the third century a.d. had introduced Christianity. By the beginning of the fourth century the Algarve had a bishop in place, based in Faro. But Rome had already fallen into decay, and soon hordes of northern tribesmen took over the empire. The Algarve fell to the Visigoths in the mid-fifth century. Under Moorish Rule In a.d. 711, the Moors brought powerful armies from North Africa and launched a devastating attack on the Iberian peninsula, conquering much of what would become Spain and Portugal. They imposed Islam and left an indelible influence on the countryside and the population of the Algarve. The Moorish legacy can still be seen in the form of wells and waterwheels, squat white houses, the dark complexions of the people, and in the very name given the regiontaken from Al-Gharb, which means country of the west (when the Moors conquered the territory, it was the most westerly in the known world). The Moors governed their Iberian kingdoms from across the border in Seville, but the Algarve had its own regional capital and huge, invulnerable fortress. The capital was Chelb (or Xelb), and it was bigger and better defended than Lisbon. Today the town, known as Silves, (see page 38) is a provincial outpost whose only besiegers are busloads of tourists who climb the narrow streets up to the old Moorish ramparts. The long struggle by Christians to expel the Moors (a campaign known as the Reconquista, or Reconquest) began towards the end of the eighth century a.d. By the 11th century, Portucale consisted of a small section of Castile and Len (todays northern Portugal). Yet it wasnt until the 12th century that significant gains were made to take back southern Iberia. The beginning of the end came in the Battle of Ourique in 1139. After the victory, Count Afonso Henriques proclaimed himself the first king of Portugal, making it one of the first nation-states in Europe. The Reconquest of Silves, not achieved for another 50 years, was a grisly affair. A mixed bag of Crusaders from northern Europe were recruited en route to their battles east in the Holy Land. They sailed upon the river port of Silves and, ignoring conditional offers of surrender, slew all the inhabitants (at no small loss to themselves) and pillaged the great treasures of the city. Two years later Muslim forces rallied again, retaking Silves, and the Reconquista stumbled on for another half century. So many inter-religious alliances reigned, and so pervasive was the intermingling of Moors and Christians, that it was hard to tell who was on which side and for which piece of land they were fighting. On top of that, the situation was further clouded by a feud between Portugal and Spain, each of them claiming sovereignty over the Algarve. However, by 1249 Faro and the western Algarve were retaken under King Afonso III, completing the Reconquest. The possibility of war with Spain was averted by an expeditious royal marriage, and by the end of the century a treaty with Spain drew up the boundaries of Portugal that stand today. The Algarve was a region regarded separately within the new Portugal, as is evidenced by the royal title Kingdom of Portugal and the Algarve. In those days, the notion of the Algarve as a distinct entity did make some sense: like an island, it was cut off to the south and west by the Atlantic, to the east by the Guadiana River, and to the north by the mountains. The regions titular autonomy was upheld until 1910, when the monarchy itself was overthrown. The Navigator In 1415, long after the Reconquista was completed, a Portuguese fleet assembled on the River Tagus in Lisbon for an assault on the Moors in their homeland. Crossing the Straits of Gibraltar, the armada attacked and seized the North African city of Ceuta. An illustrious member of the famous raid was the young Prince Henry, half Portuguese and half English, the son of King Joo I and his wife, Philippa of Lancaster. Ceuta would be Henrys one and only military victory, though he was destined to establish Portugal as a major world power, helping to develop important world trade routes by the time of his death in 1460. At the age of 21, Henry assembled a School of Navigation. It was certainly not a formal institution of lectures and classes, but probably resembled an informal modern-day think-tank. Prince Henrymade governor of the Algarve in 1418had the money, influence, enthusiasm, and vision to lead and cajole the best astronomers, cartographers, boat-designers, and seamen of the day to expand Portugals maritime horizons. The waters at the western extreme of the Algarve were all that was known to sailors. Once they were beyond Cabo de So Vicente, they faced the unknown, with no communications and no possibility of rescue if the voyage turned out badly. Yet out into the unknown they went; for the glory of God and country, and in search of personal fame and fortune. Their mission was made easier by the craft Algarve shipwrights had developed, a successor to the lumbering ships of the day: the caravel. It was light, fast, and very maneuverable. Any breeze was enough for a captain to steer it where he wanted to go. With the subsequent development of new navigational techniques, it was no longer necessary to stay within sight of land. Now the only limits to maritime exploration were mans ingenuity and courage. According to tradition, the site of Prince Henrys base was the Sagres peninsula (see page 22), though there is little there today to persuade you of this. The actual headquarters of the Navigation School may have been 40 km (25 miles) east, in Lagos (see page 26). This location had a port, shipyards, and was home to the prince in his role as governor of the Algarve. During Henrys lifetime, Portugals caravels sailed beyond the most westerly point of Africa. They colonized the Atlantic islands of Madeira and the Azores, laying the foundations for the future Portuguese empire. Before the century was over, Henrys compatriots Bartolomeu Dias and Vasco da Gama completed epic voyages, rounding the Cape of Good Hope and reaching India, respectively, and Pedro lves Cabral claimed Brazil. Between 1519 and 1522 another Portuguese explorer, Ferdinand Magellan, led the first expedition to circumnavigate the world. Mercantilist Portugal became a rich maritime superpower. Foreign Intrigues To protect its seagoing interests and trade routes, Portugal established strategic garrisons in Goa (India), Malacca (East Indies), and Hormuz in the Persian Gulf. Portuguese explorers then embarked upon Macau (now Macao), the Congo, and various other parts of Africa, including the Sudan. The Portuguese policy was to avoid armed strife and to develop a trade empire, rather than to conquer nations. To this end it succeeded with relatively few blood-soaked episodes in its colonial history. Adventures abroad, however, proved disastrous during the second half of the 16th century. In 1557 the 14-year-old boy-king Sebastio ascended the throne, the beginning of a calamitous reign that was to end at the battle of Alcacer-Quiber (Morocco) in pursuit of a vain crusade. Sebastios untimely demise, alongside some 18,000 ill-prepared, badly led followers, set the stage for a crisis of succession. For many years afterwards, legends and rumors bizarrely insisted that the king was still alive, and imposters turned up from time to time claiming the throne; those who were plausible enough to be deemed a threat were summarily executed. In fact, the only rightful claimant to the crown was the elderly Prince Henry. But after two years of alternating between the throne and his sickbed, he died, heirless. Surveying the situation and smelling an opportunity, Spain occupied the power vacuum, and Portugals neighbor and long-time antagonist became its master. Spanish rule dictated Portugals inadvertent involvement in Spains ongoing wars. In 1587 a squadron of British ships commanded by Francis Drake attacked the Algarve (now a legitimate target as Spanish territory) and sacked Sagres, thus depriving the world of the relics of Henry the Navigator. Nine years later Faro was torched. The 1386 Treaty of Windsor, by which Britain and Portugal had pledged eternal friendship, seemed a distant memory. Portugals empire was gradually eroded, and many of its trading posts (with the notable exception of Brazil) were picked off by the British and Dutch. Finally, after 60 years of Spanish rule, Portuguese noblemen (aided by the French, then at war with Spain) organized a palace coup and restored independence. The Great Disaster Portugals greatest misfortune struck on All Saints Day, 1 November 1755. With the candlelit churches crowded with worshippers, a monstrous earthquake struck, followed by fast-spreading fires and a devastating tidal wave that swept over the Algarve inland as far as 6.5 km (4 miles). The exact casualty figure will never be known, but it is estimated that 5,000 died immediately and between 40,000 and 60,000 perished as a result of secondary injuries and the ensuing famine and pestilence. The epicenter of the earthquake is thought to have been off the Algarve coast, possibly between Tavira and Faro, but it devastated places as far away as the capital, Lisbon. Witnesses claim to have seen a fiery volcano erupt from beneath the sea just before the first jolt. Throughout the Algarve and much of the rest of southern Portugal, virtually every important monument, cathedral, castle, and mansion was destroyed, or at least critically damaged in the earthquake. Among the hardest hit towns was Lagos (see page 26) which lost its castle, its churches, and the palace in which Henry the Navigator had once lived. Political Upheaval The beginning of the 19th century brought further alarm to the country. This time the epicenter was Paris, and the cause Napoleon. Just as Portugals forced alliance with Spain had made the country a target for Drakes 16th-century raids, now her friendly alliance with England rankled Napoleon. In 1807 the French invaded Lisbon, causing the royal family to flee to Brazil. Spain, followed by Portugal, rose up against the French occupation, in what came to be known as the Peninsular War. Among the early blows struck for independence was a rebellion in the town of Olho (see page 57). On 16 June 1808, the townsfolkarmed with little more than ancient swords, spears, and stonesattacked and captured the local French garrison. Its said that a party of local men then set sail from Olho all the way to Brazil, without maps or navigational aids, to tell the king of the insurrection. The real battle, however, was waged under the leadership of the Duke of Wellington, whose coalition forces expelled the French after two years of bitter fighting. The war left Portugal further weakened, and in 1822 its major empire outpost, Brazil, declared independence. At the same time, a dispute over the crown continually raged between Pedro IV, the absentee monarch who preferred to reign as Emperor of Brazil rather than return to Portugal, and his brother Miguel. The power struggle, with strong overtones of absolutism versus liberalism, excited the interest and intervention of other powers. With British help, Pedro defeated Miguel off Cape St. Vincent in 1833, and his expeditionary force marched to Lisbon. Pedro took the throne, though armed struggle continued for months and the lingering bitterness long after that. By 1892 Portugal, racked by wars and the continuing expense of maintaining its African colonies (including those of Mozambique and Angola), declared itself bankrupt. The seeds of discontent with absolutist rule were sown. Kingdoms End Bloodshed would haunt the remaining years of the Portuguese monarchy. On 1 February 1908, the royal family was riding in an open carriage along the Lisbon river front plaza, Terreiro do Pao, when an assassin opened fire and killed King Carlos and the heir to the throne, Prince Luis Filipe. The princes younger brother, Prince Manuel, was also hit, but he survived and was thus propelled to the throne at the tender age of 19. Amid republican agitation, a surprise uprising led by elements within the armed forces deposed Manuel in 1910. Having ruled for less than three years, Manuel died in exile in 1932 in England. The sudden end of more than seven centuries of monarchy brought confusion and crisis to the country. Presidents and prime ministers were ushered into and out of office an unbelievable 45 times between 1910 and 1926, until a military revolution suspended Portugals problematic democracy. After six years of power, General Oscar Carmona appointed his finance minister, Antnio de Oliveira Salazar, to be Prime Minister, a position he was to hold until 1968. Salazars repressive rule and austerity measures rid the Portuguese economy of debt, though poverty increased. Portugal remained neutral during World War II, and Salazar demonstrated his financial acumen by selling materials and supplies to both sides. In 1968 the elderly Salazar was forced into retirement after a stroke. His successor, Dr. Marcelo Caetano, feeling the spirit of the age, began tentative relaxations of the old regime. The armed forces finally overthrew him in a popular bloodless coup, known as the Carnation Revolution, on 25 April 1974. Portugal finally began to pull itself out of the long and fruitless struggle against revolutionaries in its African colonies, and granted independence to the remaining members of its empire in 1975. This, too, caused major upheavals, and a million permanent refugees rushed the motherland, aggravating the shortage of housing and jobs. Although economic problems continued to beset the young democracy, the political scene was greatly stabilized. In 1986 Portugal, the former poor backwater of Europe, joined the European Economic Community (now the European Union, or EU). With aid from the EU, Portugal became one of the fastest-growing countries in Europe. The Algarve, already a favorite of sun-seeking beach lovers from England and Northern Europe, also benefited from EU funds to build up its infrastructure and to invest in tourism. In 1998 Portugal hosted the World Expo in Lisbon, and in 1999 further consolidated its European membership by accepting the gradual introduction of the Euro, the single currency also adopted by Spain, Italy, Germany, France, and others. Congress: Full of Cap The Washington Post leads with Congress' steady circumvention of the 1997 budget-balancing caps. The New York Times goes with a story the others run inside: the EPA's imminent recommendation that Congress revoke rules it passed in 1990 requiring all oil companies to include an oxygenate additive in gasoline, on the EPA's grounds that at least one such additive, a possible carcinogen, while promoting cleaner combustion, is polluting groundwater. The Los Angeles Times goes with the latest on the Yosemite murders: the apparent confession by the suspect. And USA Today , which led with that story yesterday, goes instead with the Midwest heat wave that has killed 23 since last weekend. Most of the dead, the story says high up, were sick and elderly, but the story's very last sentence reveals that two were children left in cars. The WP lead explains that the House's main tack for nominally obeying the budget caps while proposing both a tax cut and more money for key domestic programs is to declare monies actually going for routine annual expenses to be "emergency" funding, which the caps don't constrain. Some recent examples of such "emergencies": medical services for veterans and the census. The paper calls this a "backdoor method." The NYT lead points out that in the past, the EPA has defended the additives against those fearing health risks. But, the paper adds, newer car engines can control carbon monoxide emissions without oxygenates. The paper says substances are now showing up in 5-10 percent of drinking water "supplies." (Which are what, exactly? Does this mean in 5-10 percent of our drinking water or not?) One break: The most dangerous additive smells so bad when it's present in water, that most people refuse to drink it. The LAT says the Yosemite suspect, a wilderness buff who had been previously questioned by the authorities and then dropped, gave a full account of the murders of four women to a top FBI investigator. The paper adds that in a jailhouse interview Monday night, he told a TV reporter that he had dreamed about killing women for 30 years. The suspect had previously hidden evidence from investigators but had also written them an anonymous letter leading them to a body they couldn't find. The up-tick in the Middle East continues as the LAT fronts and the NYT stuffs the news that the head of the Palestinian Authority's legislature visited Israel's Knesset on Monday, becoming the highest ranking Palestinian to do so. (A trip of but 8.5 miles, the LAT informs.) The NYT piece mentions that two right-wing members of Israel's parliament "did a little pro forma heckling" but otherwise, "barely a peep of protest could be heard." The LAT story gives one of those heckling legislators several paragraphs and quotes one of his heckles, leaving the reader with an impression of more discord. The papers report that the U.S. announced Monday it is pledging an additional $500 million in humanitarian assistance to Kosovo, thus raising the total U.S. commitment there to $800 million. One piece of perspective missing from all the stories: None mention the size of the U.S. foreign aid budget, or the amounts of humanitarian aid this country has sent to say, Rwanda. The WP 's E.J. Dionne's column on the tax-cut debate trots out an important fact: three-quarters of all taxpayers pay more in payroll taxes than in income taxes. In other words, the folks who have benefited least from the upswing in salaries or the stock market also benefit least from the Republican tax stance. An important piece in last Sunday's NYT makes a similar point about the House GOP's beloved estate-tax cut. Citing an article out yesterday in the policy journal Tax Notes , the Times noted that under current law, only the wealthiest two percent of Americans even pay estate tax, and the average tax rate on estates of between $600,000 and $1 million is 6 percent. Not to mention that the tax's floor moves up to an estate value of $4.5 million if there's a business involved, and $7.4 million if there's a farm. One question about the piece: Why did it run on Page 16? Both the LAT and the NYT front pictures of the aftermath of the looting and arson rampage that wound up Woodstock '99. The accounts in both papers steer pretty clear of sociological explanations--the only reason for the anomie that's discussed seems to be $4 bottles of water and $6 pretzels. And there's no discussion of the total dollar amount of the damage. This is not the standard newspaper practice regarding riots. Does the once-over lightly have anything to do with the festival's virtually all white attendance? A WP reader notes that in the paper's recent reprise of three 20-year-old stories about Skylab, none of the stories gave the same weight for the space craft. Although the letter writer was being critical of the paper's reporters, the episode probably left him with an improved appreciation of their job: He notes that finding out Skylab's weight took him nine phone calls. ER vs. HRC Dear Chris, To begin with the end of your last entry, I find I have to give you some ground on Cook's reflexive leftism. It is wrong to equate anti-communism with opposition to "all public improvements," and Cook does tend to caricature all anti-communism under the rubric Red Scare. (I can't see Cook's putting "freedom" in quotes as anything but a perfectly respectable rhetorical device, though. Are you the same Chris Caldwell whose excellent recent Standard report on Hillary's Senate campaign included the observation that "most of the 'neighbors' " rustled up for her initial appearance were in fact Democratic activists?) I'm asking myself why I so easily read past all such lefty rhetoric in this bio; I pretty much took it as a given--like the local weather, as you so nicely put it--and at least felt that Cook took no pains to conceal her point of view. I suspect myself of an end-of-history mellowness about it. Which I raise because it seems to speak to the question of why I come down on the side of admiring Eleanor but really can't bring myself to like Hillary Clinton. Your theory that Eleanor's do-goodism is distinguished from Hillary's by its "reactive" nature doesn't quite work for me. (Even though Eleanor had a miserable childhood, I don't buy it as the complete explanation for her empathy toward the downtrodden. I was as least equally interested in--and impressed by--Cook's awareness of how much Eleanor came to savor power.) I think it's more about circumstance: When ER talked about the excitement of forming a new social order, well, she had a point. Her husband's administration was in the midst of saving capitalism from itself. And ER was talking about the redress of some of the more shameful circumstances of pre-war life: lynching, child labor, total segregation, pervasive poverty. What's not to reorder? When Hillary came along, and spoke at a similar rhetorical pitch, she was talking to a generation of contented fellow boomers, in an era of prosperity, at a time when social norms have shifted hugely--to the good--in a more progressive direction. No, the heaven of racial harmony has not been achieved, and yes, of course any number of social pathologies persist. But Hillary has always seemed to chide us, as if we were all mossback fat cats of the '30s who were getting ready to go down to the Trans-Lux and boo Roosevelt (isn't that how that other great cartoon of the times went?). That note in her voice, of the unreconstructed left, is the same one I pretty much tuned out in reading Cook's bio. I suspect the world is divided between people who tune it out and people who are driven crazy by it, with a small remaining percentage who agree with it. (These are the same people who held rallies to support Clinton during his impeachment and called the House managers "ayatollahs.") Hillary's success in driving some people crazy with it is what's made her so darned successful at attracting the right enemies, at least. But it leaves me--and, polls suggest, the vast majority of my fellow Americans--wishing a pox on all their houses. Still, the parallels between Hillary and Eleanor are irresistibly striking: A bright, intense young woman marries a profligately charming man who takes her home to his disapproving mother. She is dashed by his flirtations (and more?) with other women, but flowers when he runs for office and she discovers her own skills as a political wife. The higher he rises, the more she uses the role of spouse (and some apparent sense, within the marriage, that he owes her) to bring her own agenda to the fore. He needs her to organize him (he's always late and always talks too long to any gathering) and also to bring in money for the family (the few years he spends out of office, the practice of law bores him silly). She gradually finds that her marriage to him allows her to exercise power in his name that she was never able to claim in her own right. But of course the other circumstance that makes the two women different is that Eleanor really had no initial way of claiming power for herself, whereas Hillary could have launched her own political career decades ago, instead of offering us that unnerving two-for-the-price-of-one arrangement. This is a big reason why people mistrust Hillary, whereas it made a lot of sense to people, in the '30s, that ER should be a kind of shape-shifting adjunct to her husband. (Not, as indicated above, that ER was innocent of personal ambition. "How I hate doing these things and then they say someday I'll run for an office," she complained. "Well, I'd have to be chloroformed first!" Sure, sure ...) But I've saved the most important thing for last: How could you say that ER was not a force for good? Do you think she was the opposite, or not a force of any kind? Best, Marjorie What Does W. Stand For? Every day this week, the Washington Post has featured on its front page a new installment of a vast profile of George W. Bush. The length of a short book, the series has explored every nook and cranny of the presumptive Republican nominee's biography. We hear at length about Bush's childhood reaction to his little sister's death from leukemia, his pole vault over the waiting list for the Texas Air National Guard in 1970, and his conversion from Wild Turkey to Cold Turkey in 1986. But as of today (part six of seven), we have learned approximately nothing about what W. thinks about politics. This isn't just the fault of policy-averse, personality-driven journalism (though it is partly that). Visit George Bush's Web site, read his speeches and statements, and you will remain unenlightened as to his views. Bush offers conventional conservative's bromides about the economy and the family and spends a lot of time talking about his signature idea: faith-based social programs. But if he has a political philosophy that goes beyond pro-business pragmatism and personal concern for society's unfortunates, he's hiding it awfully well. The problem here isn't simply the lack of specifics--what Bush disparages as "10-point plans." Members of his brain trust are working on position papers at this very moment, and they'll soon provide the absent details. What's odd--and a bit worrying--is that George W. Bush has embarked on a presidential campaign lacking something even more basic: the sort of world-view or approach that equips politicians to formulate an agenda in the first place. On the great issues of his era, Bush isn't a pragmatist. He's a cipher. In an interview excerpt, the Post reporters ask him whether it is true, as they heard from others, that during the Vietnam War, Bush argued on both sides of the issue. Here's W.'s response: "I don't remember debates. I don't think we spent a lot of time debating it. Maybe we did, but I don't remember." This does not appear to be a convenient failure to recall opinions that have since become unpopular or embarrassing. It's the absence of any opinion at all. It's hard to believe, but the front-runner in the 2000 presidential race is a guy who can't remember what he thought--or if in fact he thought at all--about the conflict that defined his generation. In an article in The Weekly Standard a few months ago, Fred Barnes offered a theory about how Bush has neutralized the religious right. Though he eschews most of the issues and themes dear to social conservatives, such as actually trying to ban abortion, Bush wears his Christian beliefs on his sleeve. You might say that he does something similar with secularized voters as well, substituting his personal sense of compassion for the kind of policies that could do something to help the poor. In a big speech in Indianapolis a week ago, Bush singled out a charity called Mission Arlington Texas, where people line up at three or four in the morning for free dentistry. That Bush cares about the people waiting outside the clinic makes you think he's a decent human being. But people who can't afford to get their teeth fixed don't need religious charity. They need dental insurance. To say that Bush is untainted by ideology does not mean he lacks political instincts. As Bill Clinton did in 1992, he seems to have a fine grasp on why so many voters are turned off by his party. Bush seems prepared to spill some voters off the right side of the GOP yacht in order to get it upright again. In April, it was reported that he had registered Internet domain names for only four potential GOP tickets: Bush-Whitman, Bush-Pataki, Bush-Engler, and Bush-Ridge. All four are centrist northern governors. This was a powerful hint that W. intends to tell Pat Robertson to go play in traffic. I predict that Bush will soon find a moment to blast some marginal figure on the right's ideological fringe, the way that Clinton dissed Sister Souljah in 1992. When your task is unifying a divided party, knowing what views to reject, as Bush seems to, may be more important than knowing what policies you support. Those Republican candidates with strong and consistent ideological views--Pat Buchanan, Alan Keyes, Gary Bauer--can appeal only to small factions within the GOP. Others who are eager to serve as vehicles for compromise look unprincipled because of their past records and comments. Steve Forbes, for instance, has undergone a campaign conversion from supply-sider to pious family-values conservative. The result is that no one quite trusts him. Not having a record on national issues makes it easier to position oneself according to the current political wisdom. That's one of the reasons governors generally make better presidential candidates than senators--they don't have congressional voting records to constrict their evolution. Better still is a governor who lacks even private opinions. He's a political consultant's perfect Barbie doll. You can dress him in this year's fashions. And no one will remember him wearing anything different. A Non-Profit IPO? The New York Stock Exchange and the Nasdaq Stock Market are considering plans to become for-profit companies and to issue stock. These companies will be very valuable. Who gets the shares? Although both the NYSE and Nasdaq are non-profits (meaning that earnings are not distributed to owners), their ownership structures are clear. The NYSE is owned by its 1,366 seatholders--brokerage houses that have paid for the right to trade on the exchange. Nasdaq's owners--the roughly 6,000 members of the National Association of Securities Dealers--include every firm licensed to trade securities. As with any IPO, shares would be issued representing 100 percent of the value of the company. Current owners would get some of these shares: NYSE members would exchange their seats for stock, and NASD members and listed companies would be able to purchase shares before any public offering. The remaining shares would be issued to the public. Money from the initial sale would go into the new companies' treasuries. The exchanges say they need the money to expand and compete with upstart high-tech rivals. Once they are normal companies, the exchanges can issue more stock or bonds at any time; it is much harder for a non-profit entity to raise money. Nasdaq may also distribute shares to its listed companies, as a reward and incentive for listing with Nasdaq. Shares that are sold or given away would, of course, reduce the current owners' share of the new company. Nevertheless, their ownership interest in the exchanges may turn out to be quite valuable. Estimates of the NYSE's potential market capitalization (total stock value) range from $6 billion to more than $15 billion. The 1,366 NYSE members have paid between $100,000 and $2.5 million for their seats. But a 1/1,366 share of $6 billion is $4.4 million. Why don't more non-profits make the switch? For one thing, most non-profit organizations are not actually profit-making businesses. Investors are salivating for a piece of the New York Stock Exchange. But even in the current IPO frenzy, there wouldn't be much of a market for shares in, say, the ACLU or your local soup kitchen. Second, most non-profits (particularly charities) are not owned by anybody. In fact, this is a requirement for a non-profit that also wishes to be tax-exempt: The organization's assets must be dedicated permanently to charitable purposes. The trustees of the Metropolitan Museum could turn it into a for-profit company if they wanted to, but first they would have to give away all its artwork, building, and endowment. Unlike the stock exchange members, they would not get any of the shares themselves. And if the new company made a profit, it would have to pay taxes. Going Day-Trader Dear Jodi, A personal confession is in order after your vivid portrayal of your normal Breakfast Table routines aboard the F train. (I trust that you don't actually partake of food or beverage on the subway, since in Rudy Giuliani's New York that's a "quality of life" offense that makes you eligible for an all-expenses-paid night in the lockup on Rikers Island.) Jodi, while you were luxuriously riding to work in air-conditioned comfort aboard the subway, I was among the downtrodden scanning the papers in a steamy house on Martha's Vineyard. (At Conroy's Pharmacy in West Tisbury, I have a reputation as a wild-and-crazy big spender because I reserve seven papers a day--the New York Times , Daily News , and Post , the two Boston papers, plus the Journal and, of course, USA Today , where I hold a day job as a columnist.) I haven't yet read the Washington Post coverage of Hillary's wagging tongue, though this evening I will be headed to D.C. in quest of the calming breezes of a window air conditioner. But I suspect that would-be Senator Clinton had been searching for a nurturing and safe interview in which to discuss the purported real reasons that she plays "Stand By Your Man." (Remember, Tina Brown wrote a gushy paean to Bill Clinton's "sex appeal" in The New Yorker .) I do find it telling that Hillary's latest theory about Bill's "abuse" as a child is the kind of psychological claptrap that gives liberalism a bad name. About the only mystery left is the psychological roots of the president's compulsion to lie under oath. As for your bet that the actual Talk interview will prove a disappointment, it seems so self-evident that I will resist the offer of a free Talk subscription. After all, as we have learned from years of Clinton scandals, talk is cheap. I too was fascinated by the Journal leader on Mark Barton's day trading. (Will "going day trader" replace the already dated "going postal" in our lexicon?) Since the Atlanta murders occurred mid- afternoon Thursday, today's paper was the Journal's first chance to weigh in with a comprehensive Barton piece. I loved the small authoritative details like Barton "hunched in silence over his usual cafeteria-lunch fare of a turkey burger and fries." (Writing for news magazines is where I learned the trick of detailing what was eaten during noteworthy meals. Back in the 1980s, there was an expression on Capitol Hill, "Get out your menus, here comes Newsweek .) Jodi, I think you're a little hard on the Journal's offhanded admission that Barton's actions don't stem from day trading alone. He was, after all, a guy who had apparently already murdered his prior wife and family. The sentence in the Journal story that spoke volumes to me was the one that read: "About 1990, [Barton] started out focusing on no-load mutual funds he had selected by doing research in the Wall Street Journal ." That, alas, is the odyssey that so many Americans have followed in the glitz-and-greed '90s--abandoning safe investments in the quest for instant riches. What was sorely missing from the Journal recap was the aggressive stance that Massachusetts has taken in trying to regulate day trading. ( USA Today stated today, "The state of Massachusetts has emerged as the industry's nemesis.") And my new hero, Massachusetts Secretary of State William Galvin, said in Sunday's Boston Globe , "If there's one thing this whole thing points out, it's that there is a dire need for regulators to clearly identify this [day trading] as a problem." But it's only Monday, so it's early for us to right all the wrongs of a world gone mad. So with my fingers black with newsprint, this seems like the perfect moment to take a late-afternoon swim. See you at breakfast tomorrow Hilary'd Out Dear Jodi, As a proud resident of a Manhattan neighborhood that I pray will always be called the Upper West Side and as a Times reader who has never deigned to look at "Circuits," I'm afraid that I don't have much to add to your clever insights from the F train. The story in today's papers that caused me to mentally brake to a halt was a front-page piece in the Washington Post by Alan Sipress about how the Los Alamos National Laboratory is now busily researching traffic patterns. Since we have all marveled (maybe grumbled might be a better word) at the way bottlenecks appear and disappear with no apparent cause, I sped through the story in hopes of discovering a telling insight. Alas, all that the scientists at Los Alamos and in Germany seem to have come up with is a series of new metaphors to describe traffic jams. Are they like "water molecules freezing into ice"? Or is traffic movement akin to "the remarkable darting motion of a school of fish"? The article, though, did have one memorable bit of deadpan humor. A scientist, Chris Barrett, is described as the man "who convinced Los Alamos that traffic was a matter of grave national security." Unmentioned in the Post was that Dwight Eisenhower used the same flimsy national-security excuse to build the interstate highway system. I'm indebted to Republican political maven Rich Galen and his e-mail newsletter "Mullings" for putting the Hillary interview in its proper context: It's the media's "August story," an overhyped journalistic frenzy designed to cover the fact that when the shrinks go on vacation, there is virtually no real news. (Galen, who is a friend, makes his insights available to the world at www.mullings.com.) A typical August story, which I remember from my early days at Newsweek ," was the 1983 democracy-in-peril scandal called "Debategate." There were breathless charges, never fully proved as I recall, that someone from the 1980 Reagan campaign had swiped Jimmy Carter's debate notebook. I realize that yesterday in my haste to wrap up our correspondence in a timely fashion, I never got a chance to explain why Hillary's Senate race makes me so uncomfortable. Let me count the ways: 1). After an impeachment-tinged year in which the Clinton marriage drowned out all other news (admittedly with a generous assist from Kenneth Starr and Paula Jones), Hillary's decision to run for the Senate forces the country to trek yet again through that tiresome swamp. Maybe the first lady wants vindication, but as a New Yorker I simply crave relief from this entire topic. 2). Yes, running for public office while serving as first lady does trouble me in ways that go beyond legalistic questions of whether White House funds are used for her travel and campaign expenses. The law, for example, does not require reimbursement for the extensive costs of Secret Service protection when she campaigns. Nor is there a way to wall her White House staff off from all political concerns. Al Gore, of course, has the same problem. But, at least, the vice president was elected to his current post. 3). Despite being the crucible of the feminist movement, New York ranks, I believe, 49th in the nation in terms of women being elected to public office. No woman in New York history has ever been elected to a statewide post more august than lieutenant governor. So why don't I hail Hillary's candidacy as an important feminist breakthrough? Because like Liddy Dole--and in sharp contrast to, say, Dianne Feinstein and Barbara Boxer--Hillary owes her celebrity solely to her husband's political career. New York will never develop its own cadre of women political leaders if people like Congresswoman Nita Lowey are shut out of the glamour races. 4). As a baseball fan, I was appalled by the cynicism with which Hillary suddenly declared her secret yen for the Yankees. Back in 1993, I had a lengthy discussion with the first lady about baseball. In all her rhapsodies about the Chicago Cubs, Hillary never mentioned any American League allegiance to the Yankees. 5). I do have some lingering problems with the carpetbagger issue. As a teen-ager, I was in my jejune fashion totally opposed to Bobby Kennedy's 1964 Senate candidacy. And I certainly didn't cotton to Connecticut-transplant Jim Buckley's 1970 Senate victory on the Conservative ballot line. That said, I am now officially Hillary'd out. Over to you, Jodi, How Strong Is the Case Against Linda Tripp? Late last month, Maryland prosecutors indicted Linda Tripp for recording a phone conversation with Monica Lewinsky without her permission on Dec. 22, 1997. How strong is their case? Although Tripp has said she will plead not guilty, it is almost certain that she technically broke the law. She began recording her conversations with Lewinsky, she says, for her own protection--she felt that Clinton and Lewinsky wanted her to lie about her encounter with Kathleen Willey in testimony for the Paula Jones case. On November 24 Tripp's then-lawyer, a Democrat with ties to the White House, told her that such recordings were illegal and ordered her to stop. Because the state requires that you know about the wiretapping law in order to break it, she was still in the clear at that point. But Tripp suspected that Clinton and Lewinsky were going to deny their own relationship in their testimony in the Jones case--which would conflict with Tripp's planned testimony that they were involved. So on December 22 she deliberately recorded a conversation with Lewinsky. The following month she called Kenneth Starr's office and handed over the tapes. She also played the tapes for a reporter at Newsweek . Starr allowed her to continue taping and eventually gave her immunity from federal prosecution. Tripp also got a new lawyer, a Republican. Tripp's defense relies on three major points: (1) She alleges that her indictment is a political vendetta. Her prosecutor is a Democrat, and many Democrats in the state legislature reportedly encouraged his investigation. Moreover, Maryland has never before enforced the law. On the other hand, Maryland officials say that this is the clearest-cut wiretapping case they have seen. (2) Tripp will also argue that because her tapes were subpoenaed by Starr, their use in the Maryland case violates her Fifth Amendment protection from self-incrimination. However, the indictment claims that it was illegal for her to play the tapes for Newsweek . (3) Finally, Tripp will argue that her federal immunity deal protects her from state prosecution. Next question? Pigeon Killers and Hate Groups Dear Katharine, Someone is poisoning birds in Central Park. "Between Tuesday morning and yesterday afternoon, 30 pigeons, 10 sparrows, one grackle and two ducks were found dead in the park," the New York Times reports this morning. (I did not know that grackles were native to Central Park; I don't think I could pick a grackle out of a lineup.) Park commissioner Henry Stern--himself a bit of a loon--admits that until autopsies are performed, they can't be certain of the cause of death, but everyone agrees that fowl play is likely. Evidently there have been signs of such bird murder since 1997. The Times continues with the information that "Killing the ducks, sparrows and grackle would be a violation of the Federal Migratory Bird Act." Reading between the lines, one can infer that poisoning a pigeon is not a federal offense. I guess Tom Lehrer would be pleased. If the pigeon killer is still at large, thank heavens there's a real culprit for the mass shooting in Los Angeles. There's something oddly reassuring about having a suspect in custody, and having him be an avowed racist to boot. So many of these shootings end up with the guy killing himself, which makes the entire incident impossible to grasp. Here is Buford Furrow, a suspect very easy to grasp: a longtime affiliate of the Aryan Nations who is obsessed with guns and mass murder and who eventually tips over from theory into practice. About the only part of it I don't get are the peculiar reports about his getaway strategy. On the run in Los Angeles, Furrow abandons his van and carjacks a Toyota. That all makes sense. Then he supposedly kills a mail carrier? Why? The Toyota is found abandoned "in the parking lot of the 7-Star Suites Hotel," according to today's Los Angeles Times . Then, we're told, Furrow hailed a cab in the San Fernando Valley and took it to Las Vegas, an $800 fare. Since when can you hail a cab in L.A.? I guess it's easier if you're armed. The best detail I've encountered is from the Los Angeles Times , which traced a crucial piece of Furrow's AR-15 assault rifle to Bushmaster Firearms in Maine. Of course it's a coincidence, but the president of that company is a former state finance chair for GOP presidential hopeful George W. Bush. I'd like to see this shooting become an issue in the Republican primaries. Which of the GOP presidential candidates is willing to say that there is a deplorable, violent movement of hate in American society, and that anyone affiliated with that movement is unwelcome in the Republican Party? Which ones are willing to say that taking an anti-crime stance means finding a way to either stamp out these groups or isolate them so completely that they can't try to kill more innocent people? Ever yours, Jim The Last Butter DES MOINES, Iowa--No sooner do I write a few nice words about Lamar than I run smack into him and his red-polo-shirted entourage at the Iowa State Fair. This is the big event in Des Moines this week, and all the candidates have been dropping by to eat corn dogs, drink ethanol, and hand out tickets for the Ames straw poll. Lamar, when I happen upon him, is standing in the Agriculture Pavilion gaping at a life-sized interpretation of the Last Supper--sculpted in butter. The work was created by an Iowa folk artist named Norma Duffy Lyon who calls herself the Butter Cow Lady. The Butter Cow Lady is locally famous for the big cows she crafts out of butter every year for the state fair. This year's model, a Brown Swiss, stands in the refrigerated case next to the one containing Jesus and crew. (She has also done a butter Garth Brooks, a butter Elvis, butter Clydesdale horses and a butter bas-relief of Grant Wood's American Gothic .) The Last Supper took approximately 10 days and a ton of butter to make. If this piece turned up in the Whitney Museum labeled as an "installation" and funded by an NEA grant, conservatives would rise to decry it on the floor of the House of Representatives. But because it's at the Iowa State Fair, sponsored by the Midland Dairy Association, Republicans come instead to have their pictures taken with it. Gary Bauer was here yesterday. He was captured in a photograph beaming up at the butter Christ with his arm around the artist. As Lamar stares, slack-jawed, at the display case, the Butter Cow Lady herself is inside of it, applying more Land O'Lakes to the left shoulder of an apostle who might be Judas. "What do you think?" I ask Alexander. "Well!" he says. Long pause. "I'm not usually at a loss for words." Alexander is the most gaffe-proof of politicians. I can't think of anything he's ever said that has gotten him in trouble. This may be part of his problem -- the country seems to respond better to risk-taking entrepreneurs than diligent, calculating types like Lamar. Even now, with everyone declaring his candidacy toast, he's not about to speak his mind just for the sake of it. I try to provoke him a bit more. "Sort of walks a fine line between religious and sacrilegious, wouldn't you say?" "Well!" he starts again. "It's ... it's ... it's enormously creative." Apparently Alexander has not been reading his own obituaries. A reporter from Tennessee told me he had come to Iowa to do a story about "Lamar's Last Ride," but that it wasn't going to work. Lamar wouldn't go quietly. Having downgraded his expectations, he now says that even a fourth place finish in the straw poll will keep him in the presidential race. Though all but abandoned by the press, he seems determined to hang on. Walking around the state fair, he hurls himself at voters. Anyone who looks at him twice gets invited to eat BBQ and hear the singer Crystal Gayle perform at Alexander's tent at the straw poll. Encounters with people who recognize Lamar but only vaguely are sometimes a bit awkward. "What's your name?" a woman sitting on a bench asks him. "Lamar Alexander." "Are you a congressman?" "I'm running for president." "So you're not a congressman?" Lamar moves on. With his remaining resources, he's running a new TV commercial that takes a witty shot at George W. Bush and Steve Forbes. It opens with a livestock auction--only this one is an auction of the presidency. Dudes puffing on big cigars signal higher and higher bids. Finally a guy with a big cowboy hat takes the prize for 30 million. Then Lamar comes on: "The presidency is too important to be bought or inherited," he says. "It has to be earned." This is his new message: not choose me, but think twice about choosing him. Back at the fair, Lamar tells me that it would be a big mistake to nominate Bush without putting him through the hazing of a hard-fought primary. "I propose a new 12th Commandment," he says, playing off Reagan's 11th--Thou shalt not criticize a fellow Republican. "Thou shalt have a contest." The scene around George W. Bush's campaign couldn't be any more different. When he arrives in Indianola a little before sunset, a crowd of a well over a 100 supporters and perhaps 50 journalists are already in place. Bush has a full-scale traveling campaign entourage with Texas Rangers acting the part of Secret Service. There's a sense of excitement when the governor and first lady, as the Bush aides refer to them, emerge against a Reaganesque backdrop, the porch of a picturesque farmhouse belonging to Bob and Shirley Lester. The Bushes are positioned in such a way that the fading light infuses them with a honeyed glow. Just behind them, a large American flag undulates in the breeze. It's morning in America again. Bush's chief adman, Mark McKinnon, weaves through the crowd with a handheld video camera, shooting scenes he'll use in future commercials. Bush is in shirtsleeves despite the fact that it's rather cool outside, suggesting that he too is keenly aware of his visuals. He delivers an upbeat, Peggy Noonan-esque speech on his already familiar theme of "prosperity with a purpose." Though he's pretty smooth, a few Bushisms creep in. "I love America," he says. "Feel fortunate to be an American!" Where Bush shines is in less formal situations after he's done with his speech--greeting well-wishers and taking questions from reporters. He has a hearty, disarming manner, and expresses his enjoyment of the moment with body language that is fluid and comfortable. Grenades don't faze him a bit. The comedian Al Franken, here on assignment for George, gives him a chance to lose his balance. "Governor, have you ever manufactured crystal meth?" he asks Bush. "In a bathtub or anything?" Bush, not thrown for a second, cracks up. "Are you looking for work?" Bush says, "I'm looking for a new spokesperson." The style of his responses is far superior to the substance. Another reporter asks if Bush regrets giving an interview to Talk magazine (in which he repeatedly used the F-word and mocked Karla Fay Tucker, a woman who was about to be executed). "It wasn't an interview," Bush says. "What was it?" the journalist asks. "Somebody came in to get a flavor of the campaign. It wasn't a sit down meeting." But before he can pursue this Clintonian distinction any further, Bush's press secretary Karen Hughes steps in to rescue him. "Governor," she says, "you need to get back to your guests." Lucent Should Stick With What It Knows For a company whose roots are in Bell Labs, source of innumerable technological breakthroughs, Lucent is surprisingly unembarrassed about buying technology that it can't, or doesn't want, to build itself. Since it was spun off from AT&T three years ago, Lucent has made 29 acquisitions at a cost of $32 billion, including a major deal it closed today, when it agreed to acquire Excel Switching Corp. for $1.7 billion. While it's now well known that at least half of all mergers fail--in the sense that they destroy rather than create shareholder value--it's also become well known that certain companies are exceptionally good at integrating acquisitions into their existing operations. Not coincidentally, perhaps, two of the best are competitors, namely Lucent and Cisco (which, reader beware, I own shares in). Cisco, in fact, closed a small deal today, spending $143 million to acquire MaxComm Technologies, which specializes in high-speed Net access. And before the year is out, expect Lucent and Cisco to announce more deals. It's a kind of acquisition arms race. For the most part, the logic behind that race is compelling. Lucent, with its roots in more traditional telephone equipment, is trying to move strongly into computer and data networks. Cisco, for its part, wants to build on its already commanding position in data networking, even as it shifts more and more of its business to take advantage of the explosion in the Internet. And with technology shifting and developing as rapidly as it is, it's difficult (let's say impossible) for any company to keep everything in-house. Instead, smaller companies create and develop technology, and Cisco and Lucent step in, buy up these companies with their pricey stock, and reap the benefits. Needless to say, this strategy works only if you're good at bringing companies on board without wrecking them or yourself. Both Lucent and Cisco are. The danger in all this, though, is overreaching, stretching a company beyond what it's really good at. Take last week's $3.7 billion acquisition by Lucent of International Network Services, a telecom consulting firm that helps companies design, install, and maintain computer and data networks. The deal was hailed by analysts and the press as a powerful move by Lucent into "services," offering the possibility that companies will now be able to come to Lucent for one-stop shopping. Not only will we sell you the equipment, Lucent can now promise, but we'll help you install it and keep it running. Hell, we'll even tell you why you should buy it in the first place. That last point signals one of the obvious problems with the deal, which is that INS's business depends on the fact that companies trust it to give them the best advice possible. If, every time a company asks an INS consultant what kind of system it should install, the consultant says, "Why, Lucent, of course," companies aren't going to be trusting INS much longer. But even aside from that, this was a dubious acquisition, because in essence Lucent paid $3.7 billion to buy a business whose profit margins and earnings growth are significantly lower than Lucent's. This may seem counterintuitive, given that all you hear about lately is how important it is that IBM is moving into services--i.e., its e-business initiative--or that Hewlett-Packard is revitalizing itself as a services company. But the truth is that it's better to make hardware or software than to be in services. Consulting is a fine business, on its own terms. But next to making switches or routers--let alone Windows 98--it's mediocre at best. The reason is obvious: Services require people, and always will. When you're making hardware or, even better, licensing software, all your costs are under your control, and once the product is actually developed, your profit margins are very high. And production lines can be automated. Consulting, though, is by definition a labor-intensive, time-intensive business. Profit margins are much lower. INS's net margins--profit divided by revenue--are around 8 percent, while Cisco's are at 20 percent. This is inherent in the nature of the business--Lucent won't be able to change it. It's understandable, what with the new vogue for one-stop shopping, that Lucent would want to offer services in addition to equipment. But in acquiring INS, Lucent appears to be forgetting one of the most important lessons of the past two decades: Companies do best when they do only what they do best. The Reed-Hendrix Syndrome, and Other Rock Maladies Dear Chris, You're right. Surely I'm in the advanced stages of Reed-Hendrix Syndrome--if I liked something, it must have been the most esoteric thing on the album. Your sharp demolition of Miller's Velvet Underground chapter--and man-oh-man, I would not like to be on the wrong end of your critical contempt--convinces me that he suffers from a parallel syndrome. Call it John Cale-Brian Jones-Glenn Matlock Disorder. Except in the case of the Beatles, where he's a convinced Lennonolater, Miller seems compelled to place at center stage the lesser-known members of any band. He grants Mick Jagger only a marginal role in the early Stones. Same with Johnny Rotten and the Sex Pistols. (Here Miller seems to be leaning too heavily on Jon Savage's Sex Pistols book of seven or eight years ago, another rock history overstuffed with intellectual genealogy. Savage attributes such Svengalian omnipotence to Malcolm McLaren, and focuses so heavily on McLaren's intellectual antecedents, from structuralism to the Situationist International, that you could easily forget there was any band there at all.) Trying to deny Lou Reed any meaningful role in the Velvets, as Miller does, is a little tortured. I'm grateful to Miller for sticking up for Nico, whom a lot of people dismiss as a rock stunt, a kind of Eddie Gaedel-but-sexier of the downtown art world. "All Tomorrow's Parties" haunts me as much as it did when I first heard it sometime during the Carter administration, and "I'll Be Your Mirror" has some claim to be the Great Rock Love Song. But if there's a lyrical voice to the Velvets it's Reed's, particularly when he's in good humor: Yes, there are problems in these times, But--wooooo!--none of them are mine! Miller is to be admired, too, for pointing out the role of "texture" in the Velvets' best music. Mo Tucker's drumming on "Run, Run, Run" is groundbreaking, and Cale and Sterling Morrison on "Heroin" ... well, what compares to them? But it's Reed's song, for goodness' sake--you could even call it his "anthem"--and trying to give Cale all the credit for such things is like claiming "A Day in the Life" is a great piece of music by the London Symphony Orchestra. One thing I wanted to raise with you before I sign off on this very pleasant week: What did you think of Miller's reggae chapter, which seems to make Jamaica stand for all of Foreign Rock? In a book so preoccupied with intellectual ancestries, Latin music seems to have gotten short shrift. Not just "La Bamba" and Carlos Santana and "Feliz Navidad"--but also such thoroughly Latin American songs as "P.S. I Love You" and "Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow?" I have another, more morals-focused question about his treatment of reggae. Miller describes Bob Marley's stance as "uplifting unruliness," and notes that when The Harder They Come set Jamaica's record for box-office take, it replaced The Sound of Music , "a musical that perfectly symbolizes the goody-goody moralism that, for better or worse, reggae, like rock and roll, mocked, ridiculed, and beat into cultural retreat." Did it? Rock seems to have its own mile-wide streak of goody-goody moralism (with some standouts like Janis Ian, Jackson Browne, and Bruce Hornsby who are nothing but). After all, we live , as all smokers realize, in an age of goody-goody moralism. So what is it in rock and roll that has allowed it to maintain its cultural pre-eminence in such an age? Someone ought to know. After all, If there's a rock 'n' roll critics' Heaven, You know they got a hell of a Faculty! Best, Chris Mexican Watershed Everybody leads with the Mexican elections. The Los Angeles Times, the Washington Post and USA TODAY each put the story at the top right and the New York Times gives almost the entire right side of its front page to it. And the top of the Wall Street Journal "World-Wide" News column notes "Mexican Stocks Surge." As of press time, it remains unclear exactly what the balance of power in the legislative branch or in the various states will be between the three major political parties, but the news is that for the first time in the country's modern history, there will be a balance of power. USAT quotes one political scientist as saying, "This was a revolution, the beginning of a new country." The Times has another saying, "If votes begin to count in Mexico, then this is a revolution." The Post has Cambodia on the front above the fold, while the LAT and NYT put it inside. What happened there is that one of the country's co-rulers--as established by U.N.-brokered elections in 1993--conducted a coup when the other one was in Paris. The U.S. has delayed taking sides. The NYT has the State Department spokesman's official position: "I think the origin of the fighting is sufficiently murky so that we don't want to shoot arrows at one side or another today." If nothing else, the episode allows the Post to trot out this foreign correspondent's staple phrase (found, I believe, on key F7): "the capital appeared calm but tense tonight." By the way, what does that actually mean? The Journal 's front page "Work Week" column has two rather interesting items today. One details that a Missouri federal appeals court has ruled that a woman demoted while on maternity leave wasn't a victim of pregnancy discrimination. The story notes that a 1978 federal law bars discrimination based on "pregnancy, giving birth or a related medical condition," but that the court ruled that it didn't apply to her case because caring for a child is a gender-neutral "social role," not a condition related to childbirth. The other item relates how Karl Mason, a self-described numerologist and astrologer, and a dozen of his colleagues, have asked the Broward County, Florida, state attorney to look into why the psychic phone network where they dispensed visions of the future to callers had stopped paying their salaries. The county is investigating. But the Journal wonders why the employees didn't see trouble coming. The Apotheosis of the CB Radio Dear Joe, Well, I am sorry you were much maligned by my friends on the Motley Fool, which was one of the first really successful online communities to take off. But the kind of response you are getting is just the kind of thing I like about the Web. Remember the days we used to sit on high at elite media organizations and broadcast down our words to the people below? No more. And I could not be more thrilled to hear back from readers since it only makes us better at our jobs, despite the agony of having to listen to the wackos that always accompany the good comments. In fact, I really like this part of the Internet most of all, the ability of people to bypass gatekeepers and perhaps even flex their minds a bit. I am certain that there will be plenty of fraud and hucksters--there was a good story in USA Today yesterday on that lovely trend--but that, once again, is another thing that seems to be a human perennial no matter the medium. It is true though that the Internet is well-suited to these nefarious tasks with its ability to reach out to more easy marks. AOL, for example, has always been plagued by people posing as customer-service reps, who somehow manage to get a lot of people to hand over the most intimate of information. But you are right, there are limits to technology. Consider Amtrak. I am riding the train right now toward Denver and have been trying to file my electronic letters to you while traveling. But there are no phones on this train, and definitely no data ports to plug my nifty micro-laptop computer into. So I have been calling in to two very patient Slate editors in New York to read--yes, I am actually giving dictation--my text in order to have it posted. That has worked fine until I passed through a particularly large group of buttes or canyons. Stupendous as they are from a nature point of view, they utterly block my cell phone transmissions and I am left completely without any useful technology. Imagine, a butte trumps all of man's innovations. Nonetheless, since nothing works in this situation, I would like to take up your notion that the Internet is not as impactful as communications mediums before it, like the printing press, the telegraph, the telephone, and, finally, television. While I think all these mediums are momentous, I feel that they have all been steps to where we are today with the Internet. At its very best, the Internet combines all of these inventions--it is the printed word that can be instantly telegraphed anywhere that adds on the interactivity of the telephone. Soon more advanced audio and video will be part of the daily picture on the Web. A network that links up people all over the world is one that is clearly going to be more important than all others, if you really have to choose. I think the big question is how does society give everyone a seat at the digital table. As far as I am concerned, the Internet is still a conversation among the world's elite, a woeful trend that I see only getting worse. So I perk up every time the notion of a free PC or free Internet access is brought up. I was pleased to see an article in USA Today this morning about how venture-capital money is now being spent in areas other than Silicon Valley, from Texas to Florida to New England. Right now, the lion's share of the cash has headed to the peninsula south of San Francisco. The joke we make there is that there is so much money for Internet venturers available to entrepreneurs located in Silicon Valley that there are not enough rat holes to shove it down. Combined with the giant amounts of money these companies are getting from Wall Street investors via IPOs--an that is real cash they are receiving, no matter how high their stock prices are--there is too much money going to too few people and too few new ideas. I think there has to be more branching out with these investment dollars, especially if they're going to help as many people get connected as possible. The real question is, of course, will these already questionable Web business models ever make enough money to pay back all this funding? I don't know if Amazon can ever make the kind of money that will justify its lofty stock price, although it certainly seems adept at spending cash. I have heard all the comparisons to the tulip mania of Holland and the stock speculation of the 1920s, and this current craze is nothing new. But it should not blind us to the fact that some very real and significant businesses are being built here. I didn't see the Bill Gates story in Newsweek , but I have been constantly fascinated by his desire to paint himself as a victim, especially in the Internet age. The Ken Auletta piece in The New Yorker was fascinating to me because it painted an awfully childish tycoon who doesn't seem to like the way he world is changing. Nonetheless, notice that most of the world's big companies--from General Electric to Disney to Microsoft--are riveted by the Internet, as well they should be. As the song from my favorite musical, West Side Story , goes, "Something's coming, I don't know what it is, but it's going to be great." In other words, this ain't no CB radio, the much maligned craze that the Internet was often compared to in its early days. But consider the parallels--handles were nothing more than screen names, the banter was a version of chat rooms, and instant community was created from nothing. Hey, maybe it is CB radio that is more important than the printing press. 10-4, good buddy, Kara Will There Be Trouble With Harry? Dear Polly, According to a clipping from the Daily Telegraph passed along by our editor (a gifted sorceress in her own right), there are now British editions of the Harry Potter books designed especially for adult consumers. The content is the same, of course, but the grown-up version cost about two pounds more than the kids' version, and, I presume, looks more sober and serious. Twenty-five thousand have been sold. I thought this was funny, but then again when I was reading these books in public places in preparation for our chat I would make sure to have a notebook and pencil and even my laptop handy, to make clear to the utterly indifferent world that I was working , which probably made me look even sillier. I take your point about kids and preaching, though I think that they tend to tolerate the moral if the story is good enough. But then again, they may learn their morals in part from the stories they hear. I do suspect (you imply that you do, too) that the boomer parents who so gleefully force-feed their kids lesson-heavy, humorless, politically correct books seize upon the Potter novels because they're so blessedly free of didacticism. Of course, there are subtle warnings against prejudice and snobbery (as embodied by the odious Malfoy clan), and affirmations of the virtues of honesty and friendship. But there is also ample recognition of the fact that it's sometimes necessary to break the rules, talk back to your teachers, or fling a fistful of mud at someone who pisses you off. This flexible, realistic moral sense coexists with reassurances that the important moral categories are, in the end, stable. Good and evil exist in this world, and their struggle for dominance is what makes it go around. I agree that the books get better and better, and that as you proceed from one to the next the series acquires more richness and density of detail. One of the neatest tricks Rowling pulls off is to make the narrative move backward and foreward at the same time: Part of the drama of each installment involves Harry's finding out something new about his parents' deaths, and about the world of Hogwarts in their time. (Hogwarts seems to be the center of the wizard world. Not only is every wizard presumably a graduate--unless we learn about a rival academy in a later volume--but a surprising number of the best pupils seem to return as teachers.) And there is a lovely mirroring of past and present--an almost typological reflection between yesterday and today. Harry's rivalry with Malfoy is foreshadowed by his father's rivalry with Snape, who is still around to torment the son of his tormentor. And the themes of loyalty, friendship, and betrayal that Harry uncovers in the story of his parents' demise (a story about which we still have much to learn), cast their shadow on his friendships with Hermione and Ron. The petty tensions between them that begin to unfold in Prisoner of Azkaban may be the harbinger of something more catastrophic in future books. I wondered, as you did, about Percy the Prefect, Ron's older brother, who becomes Head Boy in Azkaban . In Chamber of Secrets he began behaving oddly, and it seemed as though he might be harboring thoughts of the Dark Side. And I think (I hope) he still may be headed there: the great, corrupting sin in this moral universe seems to be ambition, which Percy clearly possesses. But so might Harry. Lord Voldemort (whose name is never uttered by wizards with less temerity than Harry and Dumbledore) is, like Darth Vader or Milton's Satan, a classic rebel angel, undone by his lust for power. And he may decide at some point that it's better to co-opt the blessed Harry than to annihilate him. (Dumbledore's benevolent but strict theology, involving the operations of free will in a supernaturally determined world, is classically Miltonian--an odd note of Protestantism in this decidedly pagan cosmos.) It is always the favorites who turn evil in this kind of story. It seems to me that Harry's final confrontation with the dark forces will have to involve his overcoming the temptation to join them. There is an inkling of this possibility early on, when the sorting hat, which places new students in their residential houses, tries to entice Harry to join Slytherin, where baddies like Snape and Malfoy hang out. Harry is promised greatness if he chooses their company, but he opts for goodness and joins Gryffindor, his father's house, instead. Still, I suspect he'll face this dilemma again before long. After all, Harry is not only a 10-year-old celebrity, and a favorite with the Hogwarts faculty (Snape excepted); he's a gifted athlete on the Quidditch pitch (how to explain? It's the wizard pastime, something like three games of lacrosse played simultaneously on broomsticks, with magic balls), and a natural leader among his peers. His decency has for now held his pride in check, but this might (should, I daresay) change. I don't think the series can continue to be as interesting if the menaces he faces continue to be strictly external. The deeper darkness is within. Before long Harry's terror and revulsion at Voldemort and what he represents may be overcome by curiosity, and his veneration of his martyred parents may be colored with doubt, even anger. The fact that each book so far allows him a greater measure of fallibility--and that some characters seem to slip and slide in the twilight zone between benign and malevolent wizardry--suggests that Rowling may be aware of these possibilities. In any case, I trust her to keep us enchanted. And let's not forget that Harry has, at the end of Prisoner of Azkaban , just turned 13. We have four books to go, and the stirrings of puberty can't be far off. What is wizard adolescence like? Adolescence of any kind is risky territory for the "young adult" book writer, perhaps especially in the United States at the present time. How will Rowlings handle the dark magic of sexuality? Hogwarts is coed, after all, and there's also the proud tradition of English boarding school buggery to consider. Will Harry and Hermione get it on? Hermione and Ron? Ron and Harry? Does a cracking voice mess up your spells? Is there a potion to cure acne? Do wizards ever date muggles? Can you divine the future? I await the magic owl bearing your answer to these vital questions. Best, Tony Is Harry the Savior of English Literature? Dear Polly, Thanks for the tip about Sylvia Townsend Warner. I'll check the library for Kingdoms of Elfin , which sounds marvelously creepy. And imagine confusing a succubus with a lamia! I'm so ashamed. Five points from Gryffindor! I see that the question I lobbed casually in your direction on Monday has bounced back like a bludger (or do I mean a quaffle? I'm still a novice at Quidditch) to knock me off my rhetorical broomstick. Why Harry, why now? An obvious answer, which we've gestured toward in various ways this week, is just that the books are a lot of fun to read. Your analysis of their narrative structure, by the way, was incisive. The sonnet sequence analogy is inspired: With each book you become newly aware of the tight structural constraints Rowling is working in, and freshly amazed at the dazzling variations she manages. Each time, for instance, I'm sure that Snape is the link to Voldemort, and each time I'm stunned when he turns out to be nothing more than a garden-variety classroom sadist. And yet I know I'll fall for this trick again and again, and that the moment I don't will be the moment his true evil--or his unsuspected goodness--is revealed. I'm impressed with how effortlessly Rowling balances the genre requirements of predictability--Harry will prevail, the school year will end, Voldemort will be foiled (but only temporarily!)--and surprise. But as we know, a book's quality and its success are two different things. Some of the hype about Harry Potter seems a bit wild: You'd think, reading newspaper stories about these books, that they had single-handedly rescued literacy in the English-speaking world, and also bridged the gulf between parents and children. Talk about magic! Nearly every article I've seen quotes a parent or teacher saying something to the effect of "My kid never showed any interest in reading until Harry Potter came along," with the implication that the kid will now trade Pokemon for The Illiad and our civilization will be saved from the forces of darkness. The jacket flap of the British edition of Prisoner of Azkaban sports a handwritten letter from an 8-year-old begging Rowling to write more books. It's a bit much, really. Adults who have children partake of a great deal of kid culture, voluntarily or not, and inevitably develop tastes and interests of their own. I'm as obsessed with Arthur as I used to be with Seinfeld. My wife, who is a schoolteacher, has developed an insatiable appetite for young-adult historical fiction quite independent of the professional requirements of keeping up with what her students are reading, finding new texts to assign, and so forth. Part of the fun of having (or teaching) children is the vicarious reliving of one's own childhood--reading the stories aloud that you remember having read to you, renting videotapes of the movies that enchanted you or gave you nightmares, reconnecting with Ernie and Bert. That Rowling's books, which are so smart and so bracingly British (I think you're right to keep bringing up P.L. Travers as a reference point--she and Rowling both manage to be at once subversive and starchy, anarchic and commonsensical), have resonated with parents is no surprise. She quite cannily sets Harry's adventures in an England whose culture and geography are entirely literary. This is not the England of Tony Blair or Princess Di or Martin Amis, but the England we remember from other children's books, an England somehow perpetually Edwardian, notwithstanding certain concessions to modernity like telephones and coeducation. In an earlier posting you speculated that our enthusiasm for Harry Potter may arise from our anxiety about technology, and it's striking (this is something my wife called to my attention after she read the first two books) how technologically underdeveloped the muggle world is in these books, in particular with respect to information technology. No e-mail, no faxes, not really any television or movies. And of course the wizard world is a world of artisanal handicraft, ancient wisdom, and small, local businesses. Hogwarts pupils don't buy their textbooks from Amazon.com or a Barnes & Noble superstore but from a quaint old bookshop on Diagon Alley called Flourish and Blotts. They don't have e-mail; they have owls. They don't play Nintendo; they practice spells. (They do, however, collect famous wizard trading cards, which move, just as all wizard photographs do. But, curiously, wizard photography seems to be exclusively black and white.) So there is a double nostalgia involved in reading these books--nostalgia for one's own childhood and nostalgia for the timeless realm of classic children's fiction. Rowling has cleverly, and subtly, modernized these realms with respect to matters like gender equality and multiculturalism--not that she makes a big fuss about such things. Of course, this being children's-book England, there's still a servant class. But though there's plenty of cruelty, corporal punishment has fallen from favor. (The death penalty seems to be reserved for wayward magical beasts.) Of course, none of this explains why these books have crossed over not only from children to their parents but also to adults who don't have children. This seems genuinely unprecedented, and it may be one of those inexplicable phenomena the culture likes to toss our way every now and then. (Our seeker ducks the bludger and sprints for the golden snitch!) Or it may be a symptom of our present obsession with childhood and children--the simultaneous detonation of the postwar baby boom and the fin de sicle baby boom. All I know is I haven't had such a purely escapist reading experience in a long time. As much fun as it was to read these books, it's been even more fun discussing them with you. I'm quite dazzled by your insight and erudition--bewitched, in fact. All best, Tony HMO-phobia A bit of a health and safety theme today. The New York Times leads with a story about how managed care health providers in California, who now cover more than half the state's population, face a state government review and many possible legislative reforms, all arising from widespread patient dissatisfaction with their rules. The Los Angeles Times is above the fold with an account of how HMOs will launch a lobbying blitz this week against current congressional proposals for deep cuts in the payments they receive for Medicare patients. Their big message: if any of these are passed, plan members will have to start paying for their prescriptions. The Wall Street Journal 's main front page feature examines the trend of nonprofit hospitals retaining their tax-exempt status while straying pretty far from their original charge of using their assets for such charitable purposes as caring for the indigent. The piece focuses on a Nashville, Tennessee nonprofit hospital that has a lavish plastic surgery center catering to country and western stars and will soon own a $15 million, 18-acre office and training-field complex that it will rent to the new NFL franchise coming to town. And USA Today leads with the news that during the period when 27 states raised their speed limits, traffic fatalities actually fell slightly. The paper reminds readers that opponents of higher speed limits had claimed they would result in 6,400 more fatalities per year. The LAT 's top story is that the leader of the recent coup in Cambodia, Hun Sen, "promises free and fair elections and urges human rights organizations and the media to continue their work." And the Washington Post leads with the NAACP reconsidering its long-held goal of integration at its convention this week. The front pages of the NYT , LAT , and WP make plenty of room for Madeleine Albright's trip to the Pinkas Synagogue in Prague where for the first time, she saw the names of her paternal grandparents in an inscribed list of Holocaust victims. Starr-gaysing . The WP carries a piece way inside with the suggestion that some of Kenneth Starr's investigators recently asked Bob Hattoy, a gay Clinton administration official, if he had been successful hiring homosexuals in to the government. Starr says that the question was never put to Hattoy, but that when in the course of a Whitewater interview, Hattoy was asked about his general government duties, he volunteered that, in Starr's words, "it was his job to locate homosexuals" for administration jobs. Guess which major newspaper isn't reading Slate carefully enough? This very issue of this very magazine contains a piece by ace foreign correspondent Peter Maass (two "s"s) concerning his persistent experience of being confused with the author of The Valachi Papers and Serpico , writer Peter Maas (one "s"). And yet, on today's on-line version of the NYT op-ed page, there appears a piece on Bosnia over the byline of Peter "Maas." Although it's possible that Sammy the Bull's collaborator has branched out, it's not likely--after all, the piece's credit line is all about Peter "Maass." Homeless Couple Gets Help The FBI videotape's revelation that incendiary tear gas canisters were used at Waco with the knowledge of at least two of its agents there and the political fallout this is generating leads at USA Today , the Los Angeles Times and the Washington Post . The New York Times fronts a story about tension between Janet Reno and Louis Freeh (ditto the WP ) but leads instead with an evergreen: the failure of an American diplomatic mission (led by Madeleine Albright) to produce a peace accord between the Palestinians and Israel, a story that is fronted at the LAT and WP . The sticking point du jour is how many Palestinians in Israeli jails should be released. Israel is willing to spring 350, but the Palestinians want another 50 the Israelis are saying no to. USAT's lead mainly dwells on the imminent outside investigation of Waco, saying that its honcho could be named as early as today and that candidates include two Republican ex-senators. The WP has this as well. But the Post and especially the LAT focus instead on wringing significance from the videotape released yesterday by the DOJ. The WP says it shows a "hurried and seemingly casual decision" arrived at by the then-head of the FBI's hostage rescue team, Richard Rogers, in a discussion with a subordinate to allow one of the team members to use incendiary military tear gas cartridges against an underground shelter near the main compound building. The Post notes that in a subsequent FBI account of the Waco assault, Rogers made no mention of the incendiary rounds. The LAT adds that when in an appearance before Congress, then-FBI director William Sessions testified that his agents did not use any flammable munitions at Waco, Rogers was sitting behind him. The Post adds that in court documents, FBI officials stated that no videotape existed covering the phase of the operation when, it turns out, Rogers' directive was issued. Rogers, the LAT reminds, was later removed from his hostage team job, because of his role at the Ruby Ridge, Idaho standoff the year before Waco in which an unarmed woman was killed by a sniper under Rogers' command. The LAT raises another interesting point: Did senior DOJ and FBI officials in the Washington command center listening to "sporadic" radio communications from Waco hear the conversation on the videotape? The paper quotes Carl Stern, then Reno's press spokesman, who was at the command center that day, as saying that he does not recall hearing it. There is much discussion in the stories about how these revelations have hurt the credibility of federal law enforcement. But somebody else's credibility takes a hit too: the media's. It's a little hard to believe that if dozens and dozens of children of a fringe-left group had died in similar circumstances, the mainstream media would have left the story to a documentary filmmaker. A WP front-pager reports that George W. Bush vowed yesterday that if elected president, he would strip federal funding from failing public schools and give the money to parents for tutors or to help them transfer their kids to other schools, including private ones. The NYT and LAT run the story inside. The coverage notes that Bush never used the word "voucher." The Wall Street Journal reports a new finding in the unraveling Russian funds scandal: hundreds of corporate and individual bank accounts at dozens of banks around the world are now suspected of receiving parts of the estimated $10 billion that is missing. On some days, some of these accounts, says the paper, received transfers of more than $100 million. The NYT goes top-front with word that President Clinton and Hillary Clinton have signed a contract to buy a $1.7 million, 11-room colonial home in Chappaqua, New York. They will close in November. The Times runs the item under a nice headline, WITH SOME HELP, CLINTONS PURCHASE A WHITE HOUSE. The "help" refers to the $1.35 million in collateral President Clinton's chief fund-raiser, Terry McAuliffe, put up to secure the house loan. The paper quotes one source as saying that since the Clintons have assets of just over $1 million but legal debts of $5.2 million, "banks were a little bit wary about providing such a large mortgage without some extra security." The WP reports that the angel was supposed to be former White House chief of staff Erskine Bowles, who bowed out at the last minute, to "the consternation of the Clintons." Isn't it a little surprising that the papers don't mention the similarity to the way Richard Nixon got his house with a little help from his rich friends? The NYT reports that until yesterday afternoon, Ebay was offering for bidding a "fully functional" human kidney. The opening bid was $25,000 and the last bid was $5,750,100 before the company ended the auction, no doubt because trafficking in organs is a felony. The WP reports that AOL, having reprogrammed its computers to allow much longer screen-names, has also taken the step of preventing subscribers from using as their log-ons any of the celebrity names that are now for the first time technically available. So, the paper explains, no Billclinton@aol.com unless you're Him. Today's Papers is reminded of something it just learned about the NYT online. The paper requires readers to register with a screen-name, but doesn't require real names. One potential reader suggested he'd like the screen-name, "IhatetheNYtimes." No, the Electric Lady told him, that one's already taken. Would you like "IhatetheNYtimes3"? Explaining Today's Papers Readers have requested explanations of some of the terms used in Slate's "Today's Papers" column. Here is a brief glossary. Above-the-fold : On the top half of the front page (therefore visible even before the newspaper is unfolded). Signifies one of the most important stories of the day, according to that paper's editors. Evergreen : An article that could run at any time. There are two types of evergreens: 1) an article without a direct tie-in to the day's news (e.g., "Traffic on the Rise in Metro Area"); and 2) a story that recurs regularly (e.g., "Elderly Threatened by Record Heat"). Front (as a verb): To place a story on the front page. The five national newspapers often reach different decisions on which stories to front on any given day. (See also, above-the-fold .) Jump (verb or noun): For a story that begins on one (usually the front) page, to continue on another page. Or the place in the story where it breaks between pages. Or the entire part of the story after the first page. Because studies consistently show that few readers follow an article beyond the jump, many papers attempt to lay out the crucial elements of the story before the jump. ( USA Today is the most extreme case, with front page news stories that almost never jump). Thus, the organization of facts around the jump can often reveal a paper's slant on a story. Lead : The news story deemed most important by the newspaper. In most papers, the lead appears on the front page at the top of the right-hand column. The New York Times is the strictest about this rule, while USA Today --which often runs a feature story across the top of the front page--varies the most from this standard. On occasion, the Washington Post and Los Angeles Times will displace the lead with a feature story--usually one with an eye-grabbing visual. In these cases, the lead will almost always be the next story down in the right-hand column. The Wall Street Journal has not adopted these conventions for leads. Instead, the paper usually fronts feature stories and an extensive, two-column news summary. (Note: The opening sentence or paragraph of a news story is also known as the lead, but usually spelled "lede" to avoid confusion.) Off-lead : The second most important news story of the day. The off-lead appears either in the top left corner, or directly below the lead on the right. Op-Ed: The page in a newspaper where opinion pieces not written by the paper's editorial board appear. It originally stood for "opposite the editorial page." It also refers to the individual articles on the op-ed page (e.g., "Henry Kissinger's New York Times op-ed on the nuclear test ban treaty"). Some op-ed pieces are written by regularly syndicated columnists, and others are submitted to the newspaper unsolicited. Reefer : A brief front-page synopsis of a story that appears inside the paper. USA Today's "Newsline" and the Wall Street Journal's "What's News" are essentially multiple reefers. The New York Times , Washington Post , and Los Angeles Times tend to integrate reefers into their front-page layouts. Slug (as a verb): To run under the headline of (e.g., "The Chicago Tribune slugged the story, 'Teen births fall to record low' "). The term originally referred to the pieces of lead which held the type in place on printing presses. Stuff (as a verb): To place a story inside the paper. Slightly derogatory, usually implying that the story was underplayed. (e.g., "The New York Times and Los Angeles Times fronted the Waco controversy, while USA Today stuffed the story"). Next question? Explainer thanks Scott Shuger. Viacom Dios The Los Angeles Times , New York Times , and USA Today each lead with Viacom's acquisition of CBS, a $36 billion transaction, resulting, if approved by shareholders and the federal government, in a huge new multimedia entity. The Washington Post top-fronts the deal, but leads instead with a story breaking in the Russian press that none of the other American big dailies has: A Swiss investigation's fresh evidence that a company receiving major Kremlin contracts paid tens of thousands of dollars in bills on credit cards belonging to Boris Yeltsin and his two daughters, and $1 million to a Hungarian bank account associated with Yeltsin. For those scoring at home, the WP says Viacom/CBS is the third-largest media deal ever, with the new company becoming the third-largest media enterprise, while both the NYT and LAT say it's the biggest media deal ever resulting in the No. 2 media outfit, behind only Time Warner. The papers explain that the deal exemplifies the virtues of vertical integration, nicely defined by the WP as "the ability to produce entertainment and simultaneously distribute it." The LAT notes that this feature of the deal, tying up as it does many production and distribution entities, could stimulate other similar mergers among companies now needing more than ever to tie up their own. The coverage notes the two largest speed bumps for the get-together: Viacom owns half of UPN, and current federal rules prevent a company from owning two broadcast networks. Also, there is a rule limiting a media company's TV reach to 35 percent of all households, and the new company will reach 41 percent. The papers note that Sumner Redstone, Viacom's No. 1, and his counterpart at CBS, Mel Karmazin, will be visiting the FCC in Washington today to appeal for special dispensation on these matters. The deal coverage is shot through with the usual attempts at dramatizing the essentially undramatic activity of guys in suits writing themselves checks. The LAT , for instance, bathetically refers to "a series of secret meetings at Karmazin's penthouse apartment," during which Redstone "grew to see the magic of the marriage Karmazin was proposing." Perhaps the day's definitive merger porn is this line from Redstone about Karmazin, quoted in one of the NYT's seven (!) inside stories about the deal: "This began as a deal involving some television stations. Then he started talking about cable networks. Then I could see it coming. He is a master salesman, and he began to turn me on." Just about the only relief from all this breathlessness comes from the WP , which quotes an academic as saying, "It seems to me that this is, by any definition, an undemocratic development. The media system in a democracy should not be inordinately dominated by a few very powerful interests." Everybody reports that just ahead of a looming Friday deadline, a group of Puerto Rican nationalists has accepted the politically explosive clemency recently offered by President Clinton. This means they will have to foreswear violence or its advocacy. Two prisoners offered the deal declined it. The NYT and Wall Street Journal run stories reporting that Treasury, State, and White House officials learned last spring of massive Russian money-laundering involving the Bank of New York but didn't pass the information along to Al Gore or President Clinton. The WP buries this information near the bottom of its lead. The LAT , the NYT , and WP front reports that on the eve of former HUD Secretary Henry Cisneros' trial on various charges stemming from his payment of hush money to a paramour, Cisneros pleaded guilty to a single count of lying to the FBI when asked about the cash, netting a fine but no jail. The case had been developed by an independent counsel under the now-lapsed statute. The NYT and WP headlines emphasize the incommensurability of the case's cost ($9 million) and its result. Yesterday's NYT ran a sprawling front-page "special report" raising the question of whether the now-confirmed ability in recent years of China to miniaturize nuclear weapons was a result of spying on the United States or just hard, independent work. The effort, conducted by one of the paper's most able science writers, William J. Broad, says high up that the congressional report issued late last year asserting that espionage was the main explanation "went beyond the evidence," and that his thorough review shows that perhaps "thousands" of individuals had access to the information that the report and the federal investigation suggest came from one dismissed scientist, Wen Ho Lee. Now, given that the Times ran hard and often with the congressional report and the line it took, does this piece represent some sort of about-face? Or worse, some sort of illegitimate attempt by the paper to revise its history of coverage on the subject? Today's Papers doesn't think so. The paper's coverage has generally been clear in attributing the Wen Ho Lee-probably-did-it line to particular (named and unnamed) government sources. And anyway, a paper should be encouraged to revisit a topic as more information becomes available and better understood. Today's Papers' only complaint about Broad's re-look is that it somewhat unfairly chips away at the impression the paper had originally created: The three-page piece waits until the second-to-last column to state that the consensus of the American intelligence agencies is that espionage played a role in China's catch-up even if there is no smoking-gun evidence for this. W(h)ither the Travel Guide? Careful, Jodi-reading your evocative description of the Maxwell Street Market, I could sense your inner travel writer clamoring to run free. But the guidebook might be extinct before you have a chance to bring your gifts to the tourist masses. Accurate contact information (Web sites, phone numbers), it seems, is only a stopgap measure in the battle against obsolescence. If you've got to get online anyway, what's to stop the reader from eliminating the middle man by using an online content site? Very little, when you're visiting an American metropolis. Even if the city guide is endangered, I have high hopes for the real wonder of the species, the regional guide. A book that can point you from the bus station to a reliable place to eat and sleep in a remote Indian village, day after day, is amazing. And the sympathetic voice of a paperback travel companion, even one as chatty as Frommer's, can be quite a balm on those lonely train rides when no one else in your compartment speaks your language. But which guides do I like specifically? I find myself agreeing with the Access Guide most often. And I love their "celebrity" picks: Frommer's may be the Cronkite of travel guides, but only Access has Walter himself telling you where to nosh on the Upper West Side (Zabar's). Fodor's solidity and unapologetic stodginess warm my heart, but its Compass American book can't make up in literary savvy what it lacks in maps and practical information. The Lonely Planet earns its keep, particularly with its clear, compact maps. It's also let me in on some secret, out-of-the-way neighborhoods that other guides neglect-the borough of Brooklyn, for example. But without a large, unwieldy fold-out map, the Lonely Planet will likely be overlooked by the new "tourist chic" elite. I love that the drive for tourist-free fun is coming full circle, pushing hipsters back on the beaten path. In these retro-crazed times, even the loathed Ugly American is getting another chance to be hot. Solitude is all well and good, but no one comes to New York to get off the beaten path. Besides, tourists are fun-even more likely than New Yorkers to say something shocking, enlightening, or both. And you may as well learn to love them. No matter when you visit, it's impossible to separate the Sistine Chapel or the Statue of Liberty from their attendant tourist hordes, unless you have friends in the Vatican (or on the masthead of Talk magazine). You're spot-on, by the way, about the thrill of putting one over on the "experts," as I'm sure any of the regular contributors to Slate's Fray would happily tell you. Still, I find your architectural critique unduly harsh. The question of 19 or 14 pages of guidebook coverage is splitting hairs-passing off either as a comprehensive guide to Loop architecture is sacrilege. Ideally, a guidebook should give you just enough information to get you in the door, and then suggest a good text on Chicago architecture if you're still interested. But not even recommendations are sacred anymore. Another pet peeve of mine is the blatant self- and cross-promotion that plague these sections. Most guides contain a list of "recommended" films and books, including travel guides. Brands like Frommer's and Fodor's, who produce multiple New York titles, invariably recommend several or all of their other guides. Credibility is the bread and butter of a travel guide; why would one sabotage it with such naked self-interest? It's corporate "synergy" at its ugliest: Only a sap gives away an honest opinion when there's a buck to be made passing someone on to a corporate partner. On a lighter note, do you have any favorite travel writing banalities yet? Given what little I'd seen and heard about New York on TV and in magazines, newspapers, and movies before I came, I expected a bland expanse of people and places largely indistinguishable from one other. Imagine my surprise when Citytripping , a locally produced guide to New York youth culture, informed me that I was entering "a city of contrasts." Access refined this to "a city of dynamic contrasts." Then Fodor's floored me with the revelation that New York wasn't a city at all, but a "mosaic of grand contradictions." And you, Jodi? Are you taking care to "rub elbows with locals and tourists alike?" And what percentage of your guidebooks warn you that Chicago, despite its abundant contrasts, just might be "your kinda town?" Newsweek to Faludi: All Is Forgiven! Chatterbox was a bit surprised to see Susan Faludi's forthcoming book, Stiffed: The Betrayal of the American Man , get the red-carpet treatment from Newsweek . The magazine put Faludi on this week's cover, and inside ran a lengthy excerpt with no fewer than four sidebars (to read them, click here and here and here and here) and, to top it all off, an extremely sympathetic interview with the author. Perhaps Chatterbox wouldn't have been so surprised had he known that Faludi recently became a Newsweek contributing editor. But that's surprising, too. Why? Because Faludi's hugely successful previous book, Backlash , was in large part an attack on, well, Newsweek . Backlash is remembered as a broadside against 1980s culture as a whole, and (to quote its subtitle) its "undeclared war against American women." That culture is represented in Backlash mainly through the news media, which (if you read the book quickly) comes off as uniformly hostile toward feminism. But if you take a closer look, you'll notice that some news outlets come off worse than others. Faludi doesn't make a big deal of this, presumably because she never really intended Backlash to be a critique of particular news organizations so much as, well, a broadside against the culture as a whole. (That the culture as a whole quickly turned Faludi's book into a runaway best-seller has always suggested to Chatterbox that Backlash's thesis was an oversimplification.) According to Faludi's acknowledgements, Backlash began as a story for the San Jose Mercury News's Sunday magazine debunking an unpublished academic study by David Bloom, a Harvard economist, and Patricia Craig, a Yale graduate student, purporting to show that never-married college-educated women faced, at age 30, only a 20 percent chance of getting hitched in their lifetimes. The findings became famous when they landed on the cover of Newsweek . Much of Backlash is dedicated to demolishing both the Bloom-Craig research itself and Newsweek's further distortion of it-most famously, Newsweek's preposterous claim that a single gal was more likely to be killed by a terrorist than to find a mate. Faludi writes that [a] former Newsweek bureau intern who was involved in the story's preparation later explains how the terrorist analogy wound up in the magazine: "What happened is, one of the bureau reporters was going around saying it as a joke--like, 'Yeah, a woman's more likely to get bumped off by a terrorist'-and next thing we knew, one of the writers in New York took it seriously and it ended up in print." Newsweek also gets cuffed about in Backlash for decrying "the emotional fallout of feminism"; for hyping "cocooning," a trend pretty much invented by Faith Popcorn; for attacking the "myth of Supermom"; for running two covers on the "trend of childlessness"; and for exaggerating the problem of drug addiction among pregnant mothers, among other sins. In many instances, Faludi's digs at Newsweek are actually somewhat unfair. (The conflict between women's traditional motherhood role and their increased participation in the workplace isn't just something dreamed up by newsmagazine writers.) But that isn't the point. The point is that an implicit theme running throughout Backlash is that in a world plagued by stupid, superficial journalism, Newsweek is stupider and more superficial than most print outlets. That doesn't make Faludi a hypocrite for becoming a contributing editor at Newsweek . Even if she thinks the magazine is no better now than it was in the 1980s, she probably figures she'll help it improve. But look at this week's Faludimania cover package from Newsweek's point of view: They're heaping laurels onto someone who's called them a bunch of sexist ninnies! Is this an admirable show of open-mindedness, a pathetic demonstration of low self-esteem, or inevitable mindless worship of whatever is "hot"? Perhaps a bit of each. Journalistic Integrity, and Other Oxymorons I'll do you one better: Let's pose as guidebook writers, and get someone else to pick up the tab for our visit to Niagara. I'll impersonate the Lonely Planet writer, and recommend seeing the Falls the "authentic way," by barrel. It's true that listening to a guidebook's cheerleading gets tiresome. But a travel guide full of panned restaurants is useless. If a book doesn't like a place, they shouldn't list it. The exception, of course, is in small towns or isolated locales (e.g., Liberty Island) where a forgettable restaurant or hotel might be the only option. Another factor that discourages negative reviews is the risk of a libel suit. The real problem is that none of the guides sift through all the stuff and tell you what's right for whom. Even in a general guidebook there's room for specialization: the best green spots, the best museums and galleries, etc. Fodor's has suggested itineraries, Access and Frommer's have rating systems, but it still seems that you've got to read the entire book to make sure you're not missing something that you'd enjoy, and that can be wearisome no matter how well they're written. When I worked for Let's Go, editors cobbled together a list of restaurants, hostels, and hotels and sent them complimentary service vouchers, which they would sign and return. Researchers could then visit the establishments anonymously, and present the voucher when the bill arrived. This method does prevent preferential treatment, but I do think that a free lunch can compromise your review whether your employer or the restaurant pays--footing the bill is an integral part of the dining experience, and it's harder, if only slightly, to rate the value of a meal someone else buys. In general, though, I've found travel writers to be honorable folk. And even the unscrupulous are more interested in eating for free in restaurants they have no intention of listing than in taking kickbacks from low-quality establishments in exchange for inclusion. One way or another, the interests of the readership are served. It's wrong to say that these guides don't take reader feedback into account. Lonely Planet (and Let's Go) usually acknowledge the readers who wrote them helpful letters in the back pages of the book. This feature is strangely absent from my New York Lonely Planet, but the most recent edition of LP's India book has four pages of readers' names. Zagat's may be good for finding a culinary sure thing, but you'll have to stand on line with the rest of New York (or in line with the rest of Chicago). And I think it's nave to use their ratings as an absolute measure of restaurant quality. Locals have different interests, attitudes, and palates than tourists, and would be accordingly harsher on theme restaurants. And before taking Fodor's to task for praising Michael Jordan's chops, admit it: You've got to look pretty hard to find a bad steak in Chicago. As for theme restaurants in general, they're merely indicative of the fact that a lot of people travel with their children. The theme restaurant, as a pacifier, is a stroke of genius. The overdone dcor gives the short of attention plenty to gawk at. The food is bland enough for even the most finicky adolescent palate. And celebrity sponsorship is a behavioral modification technique rivaling Santa Claus: Kids shape up quick if you can con them into thinking that Michael Jordan or Sly Stallone might show up at any minute. Mediocre food at inflated prices is (I imagine) a small price to pay for the respite these restaurants provide for the harried parent, and guidebook writers feel duty-bound to include them. All the same, Lonely Planet gets extra credit for noting that the Harley-Davidson Caf is "so commercial the menu's available for sale at $10." Having spent so much time defending my former colleagues, I'm afraid I've left you little new to work with. I'd still like an explanation: Why are Frommer's New York titles multiplying, when the Web should be pushing them into extinction? Jodi, I doubt that I've done much to advance the science of travel guide writing, but I've thoroughly enjoyed our discussion. Rumor has it that Walter Cronkite is opening his own theme restaurant on West 57th Street. We'll toast your safe return to New York with a "Sloe gin (That's the way it) fizz" (complimentary, I hope). IRA Withdrawal The New York Times and Los Angeles Times agree that today's top story is the IRA's announcement that it would reinstate the cease-fire it had observed between August, 1994 and February, 1996. The Washington Post leads instead with six columns--the beginning of a multi-part series, with related articles inside--on the sad state of the Washington D.C. municipal government under Mayor Marion Barry. The piece runs under a banner headline: "From the Top, a City That Doesn't Work." According to the NYT , the IRA cease-fire "announcement came after British Prime Minister Tony Blair had made several important concessions to [the IRA's political arm] Sinn Fein to obtain the new cease-fire, notably saying that disarmament of [IRA and Protestant] paramilitaries would not have to start before the September talks." And the paper reports that Sinn Fein's leader, Gerry Adams, and British and Irish officials all said they hoped the cease-fire would mean Sinn Fein would be joining upcoming peace talks. Neither the words "bomb" nor "murder" appear in the NYT account. (A concession to a large Irish-American readership?) By contrast, the LAT coverage is pretty explicit about what the IRA's been up to lately. Its second paragraph states that the cease-fire means the IRA is "renouncing a terrorist campaign that has included bombings, the killings of two policemen and the disruption of public services in recent months." Which is why it's surprising that the LAT commits the unclarity of saying that the earlier cease-fire "ended without warning in February, 1996 with a London truck bomb that killed two people," without mentioning that the explosion was attributed to the IRA. The WP on the D.C. government is a tale of resources amassed but not delivered. The paper reveals that despite having the highest rates of new AIDS infection, tuberculosis, and infant mortality in the nation, the city's Commission on Public Health fumbled spending $89 million in federal grant money targeted to just these areas. Additionally, in a city with "acres of abandoned and decrepit housing," local officials failed to spend millions in federal block grant money intended to rehabilitate housing for the poor. Meanwhile, says the Post , the city chronically pays high rents to politically favored landlords. In fact, "The city's Department of Housing and Community Development spends $1 million a year above the market rate to rent its office.." The WP reports that despite revelations at last week's Senate fundraising hearings, President Clinton and his senior foreign policy advisors still believe that China did not have a plan to influence U.S. elections illegally, and hence that "there is so far no cause for taking punitive steps against Beijing." The LAT reports on its front page that President Clinton announced yesterday that Los Angeles will be added to a computerized law enforcement tracking system that helps cops catch illegal gun traffickers by tracing guns sold to juveniles. In making the announcement, Clinton stated that "over the past decades, the number of gun murders by juveniles has skyrocketed 300 percent." The WP reports that according to data already collected in that system, "More than half of 958 guns recovered at crime scenes in Washington [D.C.] in a recent period were in the hands of criminals younger than 25.." Guess what's one of the hottest shows on German cable television. According to a piece today in the NYT 's "Week in Review" section, it's "Hogan's Heroes." Touchy plot lines have been softened with creative dubbing, and the camp staff's stiff-armed salutes are never accompanied by "Heil Hitler." Instead what they say is, "This is how high the cornflowers grow!" Meanwhile, "Seinfeld" was just canceled. Easy Generalizations and Meta-Guilt Nora: The only Salter novel I've read is Light Years , which I thought was just great. But I find any generalized public whining about the decline of the literary culture annoying, even when I essentially agree with the sentiment-in part, as you say, because of the helplessness it inspires. And the flip side of Salter's argument in this morning's essay-all pop culture is garbage-seems to me just so easy and specious. Inspired to despair helplessly: That has been my ongoing reaction to the Peter Singer piece in the Times magazine the week before last, an article to which John Tierney refers in his column in today's Times as well. Singer argued that we should regard every $200 we spend on anything inessential as the heartless crypto-murder of a Third World child, since the donation of that $200 to Oxfam or UNICEF would prevent an infant from dying. Do you think there's any real counter-argument to the notion that none of us have any moral right to buy expensive clothes or eat at restaurants or go on fancy vacations? The fact that I was left feeling upset and more or less speechless by that piece, meta-guiltier than I've felt in years, made me wonder if this country isn't about to experience a resurgence of old-fashioned circa-1965 liberalism. A Moebius strip is a self-contained closed loop-the thing discovered (invented?) by Mr. Moebius in the 19th century that's a two-dimensional surface with just one side. (You take a strip of paper, give it a half twist, and paste the ends together, enabling you to draw a continuous never-ending line on it.) It is the one thing from my junior-high-school topology studies that I remember. It's been striking me lately as a useful metaphor. I don't believe Shakespeare invented a twelfth of the words he used, either. And I was also skeptical of another statistic in the paper (the Journal , I think) this morning: of the 30,000 CDs released each year, only 600-2 percent-make money. If it's true, it would make the movie business look rational. You are, as you mentioned, in the movie business, and you're going to Los Angeles momentarily; OK, I have a question. Why don't American screenwriters own the copyrights to their scripts, as playwrights do, and as (I'm told) screenwriters in Europe do? Why, in other words, doesn't a screenplay that I co-wrote revert to me to sell elsewhere after the guys to whom I sold it decide they don't want to make it into a movie? Couldn't (and shouldn't) the Writers Guild simply make this a non-negotiable issue and change the custom overnight? Also, how did your toes turn out this morning? Kurt Tabloid King Altman Answers Critics Alex Kuczynski of the New York Times raked Roger C. Altman over the coals yesterday for becoming a tabloid tycoon. It's about time somebody did. Roger Altman is not to be confused with the three Robert Altmans who, are, respectively, a celebrated film director, a former law partner to Clark Clifford, and a former Rolling Stone photographer who took these compelling shots of hippies during the 1960s (counterintuitively, it is the lawyer who is married to Lynda "Wonder Woman" Carter). Roger Altman is a former deputy treasury secretary and continuing Clinton intimate whose investment company, Evercore Partners, owns American Media, which in turn owns the National Enquirer , the Star , and--most appalling of all, because it is so clearly the most nutty tabloid in America--the Weekly World News . Faithful readers of this column may recall that Chatterbox has been tracking Altman's new career as a sleaze-peddler (see "Man Bites Dog" and "It's the End of the World, But Don't Panic"), with an eye to finding out whether Altman would attempt to make his new media holdings more pro-Clinton or more respectable. Chatterbox naively assumed that if Altman didn't make his tabloids more pro-Clinton, he would be frozen out by the Clintons, and that if he didn't make his tabloids more respectable, he would be frozen out by respectable society. But according to the Times , Evercore's purchase of three cheesy supermarket tabloids didn't prevent Hillary Clinton from attending a dinner at Altman's home on the Upper East Side in April. Since then, the National Enquirer has run a piece alleging that Hillary has committed adultery (with Vince Foster and an unnamed "longtime friend") while serving as first lady. Chatterbox (who has no opinion about whether these rumors are true, but wouldn't blame Mrs. Clinton if they were) doesn't see how Hillary Clinton can dine with Roger Altman ever again; if she does, Chatterbox will be forced to conclude that she lacks even the small quantity of self-respect required to serve in the U.S. Senate. Chatterbox was clearly an idiot to think that Evercore's ownership of the Weekly World News could deny Altman a prominent role on Wall Street. The peg to Kuczynski's article was Altman's apparently major role in the CBS-Viacom deal, on which "Evercore earned an estimated $10 million fee as the principal adviser to CBS," and with which "Altman sealed his growing reputation as a politically connected player on the media merger scene." Of Altman's new dominance in the supermarket-tabloid biz, Goldman Sachs' Robert Hormats told the Times , rather charitably, "I do not think it is widely known at all in this world." The most intriguing thing in Kuczynski's piece is Altman's own ambiguous stance about his stewardship of the supermarket tabloids: We think American Media is a good investment, plain and simple. We are not sitting there working on each week's copy. We are not involved in the weekly or monthly or, for that matter, any editorial decision of any kind. I think if you went around and asked any number of reasonably well-established buyout firms, they approach it the same way. It is management's job to manage the company. We are financial guys, and we do not manage the company . On the most superficial level, Altman appears to be signaling, "Please don't be mad at me, Hillary," and also, perhaps, "Please, Brooke Astor, don't shut me out of the charity-ball circuit." On a deeper level, though, it's hard to tell whether Altman means to communicate, "Hey, I'm just the pimp, I don't turn the tricks," or whether he's casting himself, absurdly, as some magnificently disinterested Sulzberger- or Graham-esque figure who refuses to compromise editorial integrity. American Media's chief executive, David Pecker, seems to hew to the latter interpretation, because he told the Times that Altman has done nothing to interfere with the "hard-hitting" stuff in the Enquirer and the Star about the Clintons. Pecker might also have noted that the editorial integrity of the Weekly World News remains largely unmolested (though Chatterbox did point out, earlier, a bizarre feint in the direction of respectability in the Weekly World News' coverage of the imminent apocalypse). This week's issue includes headlines such as "Your Family May Be Living Under a Curse ... And Not Even Know It!" and "Cement Mixer Rips Man's Penis Off!" and "Last Living Neanderthal Family Found In Icelandic Cave!" Altman's Evercore partner, Austin Beutner, told the Times , American Media reaches an audience of 20 million people each week. We think the ability to deliver interesting content to that large an audience, and deliver that large an audience to advertisers and providers of commerce--whether through direct-response marketing or E-commerce--is compelling. And we think the scale of that business can grow many-fold over the next several years . Translation: "This is a dream advertising market, because practically by definition these readers will believe anything !" Cunanan the Barbarian This is the kind of news day when it's nice to be USA Today . Because that way, you don't have to lead with a proposed youth health insurance plan (today's New York Times ), with the European Union's acceptance of the Boeing/McDonnell Douglas merger (the Los Angeles Times ), or even with Newt Gingrich seeking calm among House Republicans (the Washington Post ). You can lead with Andrew Cunanan. Below the "important" stories, Cunanan does get front-page space at the LAT and WP and most of the "National Report" inside at the NYT . The story presented a challenge to all the east coast papers, breaking as it did just about at closing time. At about the time the cops were zipping up the body bag, the WP was describing Cunanan as "now a phantom"--but meaning he was still on the loose. Most of today's accounts have been substantially rewritten between editions and the final versions still feature a lot of sourcing to television broadcasts. Only the LAT could cut right to the (end of the) chase: "Serial Killing Suspect Cunanan Is Found Dead in Miami Beach." The WP reports that in a private caucus meeting with House Republicans, Gingrich has explained that there is a single line of authority in the House and that he is it. Gingrich called the intrigues of recent days "childish, silly and self-destructive." Despite Gingrich's attitude, there will apparently be at least one more meeting among House Republicans to discuss the events of the past week. Judiciary Committee chairman Henry J.Hyde tells the Post why he's looking forward to the session: "The entertainment value." The middle top of the Times front page is dominated by details from memos turned over to congressional investigators, apparently from the files of former White House chief of staff, Harold Ickes, which illustrate the extremely active role Bill Clinton and Al Gore had in their re-election campaign's fundraising. The story is topped by a large picture of portions of two of the memos. A tiny box on the NYT front informs readers that a Pentagon/CIA study concludes that 100,000 American soldiers may have been exposed to nerve gas during the Gulf War. The story itself is on page A12. The WP has a story today about a program that sends troubled kids from inner city Baltimore to a school in Kenya. The piece opens with "before" and dramatically improved "after" writing samples by a 13-year-old boy who just returned from a year there. He'll be going back. (Was there some good reason, by the way, why the Post couldn't bring itself to mention that the students in the program are black?) According to the Wall Street Journal , people who came to Atlanta last year to set up vending operatons are so disgruntled by the financial baths they took--they've filed more than 200 lawsuits in local courts--that after the FBI cleared Richard Jewell, it began wondering if the Olympic bombing could have been the work of an outraged vendor. The NYT op-ed page continues to turn the heat up on an issue nobody cares about--keeping foxhunting legal in Britain. For the second time in two weeks. And for the second time, by a novelist. Hmmm--plotting problems with their current projects? Thus Spake Groucho and Gertrude Do you remember the first time you ever heard the expression, "There's no there there"? I do. I practically remember where I was sitting when I first read it. Of course, it's Gertrude Stein, speaking of the place she grew up, which I'm pretty sure was Oakland, Cal. This is the sort of thing I could check if I weren't in Los Angeles. So, forgive me if it's Berkeley. Anyway, what a great line. What a great great line! I mean, when I first came across it, I just stopped reading for a few minutes and rolled that line around in my brain and thought, I would kill to say something that amazing. There's no there there. No there there. It's right up there with "Everyone will be famous for 15 minutes," which is definitely another of the other top 10 lines of the last l00 years. Anyway, you are right about Bush and Clinton and just about everyone: no there there. Bush I find dangerous precisely because he will win according to my criteria (and yours), and he knows absolutely nothing. Also, call me crazy, but I hate Republicans. Could never vote for one. Just couldn't. It's as close as I get to being a practicing Jew. I mean, God would strike me dead if I voted Republican. If I believed in God. And those horrible Supreme Court justices Republicans nominate really matter. (Although it's surprising and fascinating to see what's happened to Sandra Day O'Connor and--of all people--David Souter as they've carved out a middle-of-the-road pragmatism no one could ever have predicted.) One of the things I always find interesting about L.A., where I grew up waiting desperately for the moment I could get out, is how it found its "there" (kind of the way Miami did). Fred Allen: "Los Angeles is great if you're an orange." Another of the top 10, don't you think? And Groucho Marx: "I wouldn't join any club that would have me as a member." (Probably not quite accurately quoted, but as I say, there's no Bartlett's in my hotel room.) I've been told that all sorts of people have "worked with" Bradley. I think Sydney Pollack tried to help, although I could be wrong. Bradley's TV-Q has definitely improved: He was great on Meet the Press a few weeks ago, as relaxed as he'd been the day I saw him in person. But I've also been told that people have worked with Al Gore, and it seems to be truly useless. I mean, if you just tied the man's hands together and lashed them down, it would be an improvement. If I were trying to help him, I would tell him to never ever read from a speech--that just makes the performance even more deadly. He should always work from index cards with no more than a word or two written on them. Well, so should anyone who gives a speech. I wanted to die when Gore got up after the Littleton shootings and stood there holding a sheet of paper with a speech on it that he dutifully read from. On the other hand, if Gore runs against Bush and Ventura, we will both be voting for him, I guarantee it. More children shot with guns last night. Another thing I like about Bradley is his position on guns. In the L.A. Times today there's an article that says that the LAPD has asked Charlton Heston to be its guest speaker at a fund-raiser next week. This is the LAPD whose chief is anti-NRA, and this is the Charlton Heston who refuses to take a position against cop-killer bullets. The man who booked Heston for the speech has this to say: "I was unaware until after he accepted that he was the head of the NRA." Well, I am off to work. And so this is the end of our days together. I feel relieved, because frankly my entire life has ground to a halt for the last four days while I feverishly tried to think of things to say. But I also feel sad. Next week, there's American Beauty to talk about, and while I'm sure we'll both see it over the weekend, and maybe we'll even e-mail each other about it now that we know each other's addresses, no one will be listening . xoxoxox Taint Necessarily News USA Today leads with what it describes as President Clinton's refusal, on grounds of executive privilege, to provide Congress with documents it requested for its investigation of the FALN clemency. The New York Times and Washington Post each run this as their off-leads, choosing to lead instead with the continued course northward of Floyd, now downgraded to a tropical storm. The Los Angeles Times has its very own storm to lead with, a widening police scandal, called by the paper the city's worst in 60 years, featuring allegations of shooting unarmed suspects, planting weapons on suspects and of drug dealing and sending at least one person to prison on totally false court testimony. The FALN investigation does not make the LAT's front. USAT notes high up that Clinton's citation of executive privilege is the fourth such in his presidency. The WP sets the clemency dustup inside a broader context, noting that while Congress is investigating the FALN clemency, it is also probing the Clinton administration's role in Russian banking improprieties, as well as the possibility of a cover-up about its conduct in the Waco confrontation. The NYT gives a more nuanced account of the standoff than the others. Whereas USAT says Clinton refused to hand over documents, and the Post says it's saying no to witnesses too, the Times says the White House will release some clemency documents it feels are not covered by executive privilege and will allow three administration officials to appear at congressional hearings. But everybody agrees that there is now considerable friction between Congress and Clinton. On both sides of the aisle: USAT runs a critical quote about the clemency from a Democratic senator. The fronts feature the now-routine day-after shooter profiles of the man who killed seven churchgoers and then himself in Texas on Wednesday. The LAT headline is almost a template, calling him a "loner, full of rage." The NYT effort is typical in finding out that he was prone to mood swings, fantasized about murder, and was feared by several of his neighbors. Since this sort of information can evidently be put together in 24 hours, wouldn't it be better to require authorities to do so before a gun purchase could legally be made, rather waiting for reporters to do so after a shooting? The WP front reports that high tech companies appear to have prevailed in the long-simmering debate about whether or not national security concerns should prevent them from exporting software that encrypts electronic communications. (This story fronts the LAT business section and was reported yesterday by the online version of the NYT .) Yesterday, the Clinton administration said exporting encryption is okay, while it also gave law enforcement increased power to combat criminal uses of computers, although not as much as had been contemplated in several working drafts of the decision. The federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention released a study yesterday estimating that tainted food sickens about 76 million Americans and kills 5,000 of them each year. This is double the last authoritative estimate, made in 1994. What with all the attention paid to Floyd (toll: a dozen or so deaths), you'd think that a story about a phenomenon said to have claimed thousands of lives last year would get a lot of front space. Think again. Apparently, the papers don't deem this food for thought. It's not on anybody's front. What the NYT tipped yesterday, everybody has today about Bill Gates and his wife donating $1 billion towards financing for college and advanced studies for minority students in the sciences, engineering and education. The head of the United Negro College Fund is quoted by the Times saying the gift would increase by 15 to 40 percent the number of minorities who receive doctorates in the targeted fields. The coverage reports that the decision has drawn some fire from opponents complaining that it shuts out qualified white students. The Wall Street Journal "Washington Wire" reports that, soon after a top Army general was court martialed for having sex with subordinates' wives, another top Army general was just removed from his big Pentagon job while the Army sees if he did the same thing. Fortunately, at least one brass hat looks a lot better in the paper today. In a NYT op-ed, a retired admiral argues that since it's in the Pentagon's direct interest to have access to the improved manpower pool that would come out of better schools, the military should get behind a ten-year program to repair every public school, fully finance Head Start and reduce class size from kindergarten through third grade. How do you come up with the $230 billion this would cost? By canceling all the unnecessary planes, subs and nukes in the defense budget, says the former 3-star. Where, oh where, are the stories about the presidential and congressional pay raises passed yesterday? Not on anybody's front. The WP effort is typical: It puts the congressional $4,600 raise (to $141,300) on page 7 and doesn't say that the president's salary is being doubled (to $400,000). And the whole thing is buried deep in a story under a headline that doesn't even mention the raises. Raisa and Raises USA Today and the Washington Post lead with the sodden aftermath of Floyd, which President Clinton spent yesterday inspecting. The New York Times fronts that, but leads instead with the tremendous earthquake (magnitude 7.6) that hit Taiwan early today, killing thousands, and trapping perhaps just as many in toppled-over and collapsed buildings. Everybody else fronts the quake. The Los Angeles Times , however, leads with the day's dollop of the city's metastasizing police brutality and corruption scandal: that a police captain chose to ignore officers' allegations of a stationhouse beating of a suspect. USAT emphasizes Floyd's nationwide toll, favoring numbers to do so: One million people in New Jersey ordered by authorities to boil their tap water; total damages possibly as high as Andrew's $26.5 billion, the U.S. record; 62 deaths in 12 states and one in the Bahamas. The WP goes more for narrative, with such passages as: "In county after county, meanwhile, people confronted hardships that seemed almost biblical in scope: Coffins sent floating away from low-lying cemeteries; portable incinerators being assembled to dispose of 100,000 dead hogs and a million drowned poultry; oceanfront homes being swept away; and thousands of residents living without safe tap water, telephones or mail service." The insertion of the U.N.-supported peacekeeping force into East Timor is going so uneventfully thus far that it's off everybody's front save the NYT's. Everybody but the NYT (which runs it inside) fronts the death from leukemia of Raisa Gorbachev. The WP and NYT especially capture the sense in which she broke Soviet ground as a political wife: less dowdy, more fashion-conscious, if not downright materialistic (with her own American Express card, the Times reminds). But the coverage fails to deliver a bit in its attempts to depict any further contribution. USAT says she "drew criticism for speaking out" and the Times says she emerged as someone "who had her own mind," but neither describes any position she ever took on anything. The WP runs a long story inside claiming to move the ball forward on the question of how George W. Bush came to get a slot in the Texas Air National Guard. The then-speaker of the Texas legislature had been saying that although he often received requests for Guard placement, he never received such a request from anyone in the Bush family, including GWB's father. But now, says the Post , the ex-speaker says he did intervene, at the request of a good friend of the elder Bush. The Wall Street Journal reports that according to the latest government stats, labor productivity in the U.S. manufacturing sector rose 4.1 percent in 1998, the same as the year before. Robert Kuttner, in his WP op-ed advocating further raises in the minimum wage, observes that the past two years have shown that raising the minimum wage doesn't detract from job creation. The just-quoted statistic suggests that they've shown it also doesn't detract from--maybe stimulates--productivity. The WP fronts the third in its well-reported series looking inside the high echelons of the U.S. and NATO military during the Kosovo war. Today the emphasis is on the war-long dispute between NATO commander Army Gen. Wesley Clark and his subordinate, air warfare chief Air Force Lt. Gen. Michael Short. Clark wanted to use his air assets to target tactical assets, such as tanks and artillery pieces in the field, while Short wanted to hit strategic targets, such as ministry buildings and power plants. In noting that, according to the recently released bomb damage figures from the war, two-thirds of all Yugoslav army assets in Kosovo survived intact, the Post leaves the reader with the impression that it was the strategic campaign--Short's target list--that made the difference. Back to the LAT and the police scandal for a beat. The paper reports that city officials are bracing for a raft of legal claims likely to be brought against the city by suspects who've been arrested or questioned by the policemen implicated thus far. Question about that: Just as papers routinely appeal to citizens to provide information they might have about unsolved crimes or fugitives, why doesn't the LAT invite readers who think they've been mistreated by the officers in question to come forward? Of course, this would be easier if the public knew what the officers look like--which raises another question: Why hasn't the LAT run their pictures? Scum in Black A suicide bombing in a Jerusalem market leads at USA Today , the New York Times , and the Los Angeles Times . The Washington Post gives the entire top of its front page to sweeping changes in the D.C. governance system coming with the new budget bill, (which was uneventfully passed yesterday by the House). Its coverage includes the reaction of Mayor Marion Barry, who calls the measure "re-colonization" and says it has "raped democracy and freedom." The Jerusalem bombing, apparently the work of two men, left 15 dead and wounded 150. The Israeli Cabinet immediately suspended peace talks with the Palestinians, and the U.S. peace envoy postponed a scheduled departure to the Middle East. The militant group Hamas apparently claimed responsibility for the attack. When Yassir Arafat telephoned Benjamin Netanyahu to express his condolences, the Israeli Prime Minister, says USAT , "responded angrily." The NYT has a little more about this, reporting, "'I am not prepared to be satisfied with expressions of regret,' the prime minister told Arafat, according to the government. 'You have to completely change what you are saying and doing. You must change your policy 180 degrees.'" The NYT has particularly powerful on-scene reporting of the carnage: "The bodies of the two presumed suicide bombers, young men in black suits, were the last to be taken away. They were said to have carried their deadly charges in attach, cases, with the result that the lower parts of their bodies were torn away but their faces were curiously intact. The faces were shown later on Israeli television. Investigators evidently hoped that they would be recognized, giving the police a lead." And the Times is aware of how sadly routine such events have become, referring to the episode's "familiar agony," and reporting that "fifteen suicide bombers have struck in Israel over the last three and a half years, killing at least 140 people and wounding hundreds." Under the headline, "Senator Assails White House," the WP reports that Sen. Fred Thompson "bitterly denounced the White House yesterday for stalling the Senate's investigation into campaign finance abuses and announced that his committee will subpoena the administration for all outstanding documents relative to its inquiry." The paper quotes Thompson as saying, "They have no credibility as far as I'm concerned." The Wall Street Journal reports that the National Federation of the Blind is demanding that Disney pull the plug on its planned Christmas release of a Mr. Magoo movie (starring Leslie Nielsen), saying that bringing Magoo back implies that "it's funny to watch an ill-tempered and incompetent blind man stumble into things and misunderstand his surroundings." David Vogel, the president of the studio, has this response: "Magoo is not blind. We would think about it as an issue more if he were blind." The strangeness of the Mir mission continues as the LAT reports that NASA announced the upcoming participation of an astronaut, Wendy Lawrence, and then a few hours later said never mind because she was too small for the space suits on board the Russian craft. Somehow this hadn't come up at any time during her year of training for the flight. The Anti-Elitist Elite Dear Nat, Maybe I was too prickly about Lemann's treatment of the California Civil Rights Initiative, but let me explain why. CCRI, and opposition to affirmative action generally, is popular with middle-class Americans. Meanwhile, CCRI was extremely unpopular with the educated elites. One of the things the educated elites did during the CCRI fight was to use the full power of their influence in the media and the culture to oppose, discredit, and in many cases smear the supporters. That's one of the reasons most of the normal big-money people in the Republican party wouldn't go near it. In the end, the educated-elite assault was not enough to drive public support of CCRI below 50 percent. That shows that the influence of the educated elite is not dominant in American society (if it were, campaign-finance reform would have passed long ago). But Lemann is writing a book lamenting the fact that America has this new elite, selected at an early age by SAT scores and other academic factors. He says this system of selecting people so young is unfair to most Americans. Good point. But if that is your argument, then in the major public-policy dispute you cover in the book, you had better bend over backwards to give voice to the majority of high-school grads who supported CCRI. Instead, the story is told--for the most part--through a bunch of Ivy League lawyers and highly educated political activists. To simplify Lemann's supple narrative a bit: He decries the existence of the educated elite, but when push comes to shove he seems more a creature of that elite than an opponent or a detached cultural observer. But I don't want to say that Lemann is an old fashioned elitist. That is to fundamentally misunderstand the nature of the educated elite, of which Lemann seems to be a paragon. The reality is much more paradoxical. This is an elite raised to oppose elites. This is an elite with an egalitarian sensibility. That's why it supports affirmative action--out of concern for the less fortunate. That's why its members write books like this one. When members of the elite oppose the middle class and sometimes trample all over them, they are usually doing it in the name of egalitarianism. The elites are more egalitarian than the masses. One of the things that shines through Lemann's writing is his concern for people less fortunate than himself. He is never self-righteous or showy about this. Instead, his penchant for exhaustive research seems to flow from a genuine social commitment. I've never met the man, but I admire him through his writings. From what I know about him, he seems to have had all the educational advantages. And here he is arguing against the privileges of his class, but without any radical-chic bravura--and most members of the educated elite will agree with him. That's why this elite, for all its flaws, is fundamentally different than and better than the Protestant Establishment that it replaced. That's why I'm not convinced by Lemann's concluding section in which he says we should change the way we select our elites. The ethos he describes in his heroes undercuts his case. If we are going to have an elite--and we are--we should have one made up of people as egalitarian as Lemann. The current university system seems to inculcate such values. I mentioned yesterday that I just finished a book about the manners and morals of this educated class. When I wrote the proposal, I said that my last chapter would be about the revolt against this class, for some of the same reasons that Lemann hints at (without sufficiently detailing) in his book: They are selected too early; they live in a culture that is detached from the rest of the culture; the income gap between them and the rest of the culture is widening. But as I traveled around doing my research, I couldn't find any evidence of this class revolt. There didn't seem to be any mass movement to upend people like us who went to or work at selective colleges. Indeed, the rest of America seems to want to learn how to drink espressos like we do. The only people who seemed genuinely upset about the educated elite were members of the educated elite themselves. This sensibility oozes from the pores of Molly Munger, one of the liberal lawyers Lemann describes fighting CCRI. This sensibility plays out over many spheres. This is an elite that dresses casually so it won't appear elite (visit Microsoft). This is an elite that practices conscientious consumption instead of conspicuous consumption. This is an elite in which six-figure-income intellectuals like Robert Reich churn out books on widening wealth disparities. This is not too say they are hypocrites. It is to say they go to extraordinary lengths to mitigate their social advantages, at least compared to the old Protestant Establishment. Indeed, I have a half-baked theory that America tolerates left-wing universities because they serve as finishing schools for the new ruling class. They give the coming elite an egalitarian sensibility, so when they rise to the top, they won't give off offensive vapors that might arouse class resentments in the middle and lower class. In this way Marxist professors actually serve to solidify the current class structure. But that wacky theory aside, the point for Lemann's book is this: He brilliantly shows how the Protestant Establishment gave way to the educated elite. He tells for the first time how the selective mechanism for the educated class--the SAT--came to occupy its current dominant role. He underlines the problems with this arrangement. He makes a truncated plea for reform. But he never shows the great harms perpetrated by this system. He doesn't show how the new elites have been corrupted by their status, or of the misery of How the Other Half Lives. On the contrary, he shows how educated elites like himself and Molly Munger are fighting against the Marie Antoinette syndrome. I don't agree with Lemann on a lot of issues, but I'm glad the central flaw of this elite is excessive egalitarianism. That's the least bad flaw for an elite to have. You mentioned yesterday that today you were going to take on his concluding section. I'm looking forward to that. David Two Cheers for the SAT Dear David, I do look forward to your book, some of which, or at least some of the research reports for, I have been reading in the Weekly Standard and elsewhere. It is a strange situation we have with our current elite, as you point out. In some other countries where there is affirmative action, it is a majority that imposes affirmative action for itself, for example, the Malays in Malaysia. Here we have it for a small minority (the key beneficiary is the black population, 12 percent of the total) and university presidents, almost all major foundation heads, etc.--defend this system vigorously even though it reduces, perhaps only minimally, its own advantages. You point out quite correctly that at the very top levels the resentment is very muted and hardly visible (see the huge majorities of students in elite colleges who say diversity is a good thing and we should have more, in the Bowen and Bok book, The Shape of the River ). It's the people educated at Yale, in Lemann's account, who are the most vigorous defenders of affirmative action in California. There is not only Molly Munger but also Bill Lann Lee, now the assistant attorney general in charge of civil rights. The resentment seems to be somewhat greater at the University of Texas and the University of Michigan, which are certainly elite within their states but fall short of the very top national elite level. And as you point out, it is the middle classes, and I would add, the upper working class, that seem most resentful, even though the children of the latter will go neither to the Ivy Leagues nor the flagship state universities. At the places their children will go to, racial preference doesn't play much of a role. Clearly self-interest is not playing the decisive role in the struggle over affirmative action. I would suggest it is ideology that makes for the division, and yes, the ideology of the elite is equality, and that of the middle classes is opportunity. There are some oddities here, not the least of which is that the struggle over affirmative action is waged most vigorously over admissions to colleges and universities, and one hears less and less about important cases in the area of employment. But it is there, I would think, that those who voted against CCRI would feel the bite of affirmative action more, because of its commonness in employment for policemen, firemen, and much other public employment, and its prominence in the hiring and promotion policies of big corporations. In view of the fact that the present system for selecting elites selects one that is critical of the system, concerned about inequality and greater opportunity, one wonders why Lemann is complaining. He writes that the most unfair system of distributing opportunity would be one "in which all roles were handed down explicitly by inheritance." But then, "the second most unfair system ... could well be one that allowed for competition but insisted that it take place as early in life as possible and with school as the arena." His discomfort with the SAT is that it's an intelligence test that primarily selects people who are good at test-taking and school. His real problem is to define a less unfair system. As a matter of fact, he is unfair in describing the present system. It is not totally dependant on the tests. There are the athletes and the alumni children and the occasional student who is very good at something even though his test scores are not at the top. And, of course, there is affirmative action in most selective institutions, and that may be as many as 20 percent of all colleges and universities, for blacks and Hispanics and American Indians. So it is a meritocratic system considerably modified. So what is the problem? Unfairness because of early selection? Actually, if we made the selection even earlier, the differences between the majority and minority students would probably be smaller. And by international standards, we don't make the selection so early. In England there used to be (maybe there still is) an 11-plus exam that makes the selection at a very early age; on the continent, too, students are divided between secondary schools that lead to university and those that do not at an earlier age than 17 or 18. Secondly, there are opportunities here to get into the system later. There are community colleges, from which you can transfer all the way to the elite campuses of the state university. Few do, but there is the opportunity. Is the problem that the arena is school? Here Lemann has a stronger point, but no society has been able to figure out a better arena, even though school is not the best place to learn how to become an entrepreneur or a politician, run a business or a country, become an artist, etc. How the school system became the great selector, even though it selects people on the basis of talents that are not directly related to many important social roles, is a mystery to me. But it's happened everywhere, in the most diverse cultures. I recall that even in ancient China, administrators of the empire were selected on the basis of competence in the ancient classics. The only justification for the present system is that intelligence is useful in any task, and that the only fair and systematic way we have of determining intelligence is by way of a uniform test, poor as that may be. Lemann's task is to define the alternative. At the end of his account of Molly Munger's fight against the CCRI, and her deflation when after all her efforts it succeeds, Lemann tells us that she has left civil-rights work and has started a new organization devoted to improving education for the poor. Lemann, while he is only reporting this, seems to approve. So maybe the only problem, or the main problem, is not the test, not selection on the basis of verbal and mathematical competence--which is all the test does--but trying harder to get those who ordinarily do poorly on such tests to do better. But that opens another can of worms, and Lemann's stab at the enormously difficult problem of improving education at the lower levels is not too encouraging: "We should adopt the goal of sending most people all the way through college ... To get more people through college, we shall have to establish greater national authority over education. High schools should ... [teach] a nationally agreed upon curriculum." One wonders if he has been following the efforts to create national standards. Of course, this is only a somewhat tacked-on addendum to what is on the whole a good book, but it does confront us with the question: What is the alternative to the present system? This has not been much of a debate, I realize. We seem to agree that whatever its flaws in logic and in practice, we can't think of a clearly better system. I have the impression, if we had a talk with Lemann, he might agree, and we wouldn't disagree with him when he insisted that the main thing to do is to improve education. But we would probably disagree over the specifics as to how one does it. Nat Glazer Public Funding of Art Received last night. Dear Ester: Alas, this is my second attempt to respond to your last message. Apparently, I was writing to slowly for my service provider. It inquired whether I wanted to stay online, and despite my assurance that I did, I was promptly disconnected--losing my draft in the process. What I was writing about was your initial discussion of art and funding, as represented by the Brooklyn Museum dispute. Frankly, I sidestepped the issue because I am of a very mixed mind about the whole thing. On the one hand, I treasure the principle that artists should be able to express themselves in relatively unrestrained fashion. On the other, I have concern about public funding of art. I am uncertain about the extent to which public funds should be used to fund art--whether that art be kitsch or politically controversial statements. Likewise, I am perplexed by public funding of churches to provide certain kinds of social or other kinds of public services. In each case my concern is not just on the impact on the public or public policy but also about the impact on artists or the church. Is it possible that the public funding of art or church social services (or schooling) has a deleterious impact on their integrity? Moreover, should the state be funding activities that the general public finds offensive or services that compete with public services? As I noted above, I find myself really quite confused in each case. School vouchers, alternative schools, charter schools, and church schools all compete with public schools and probably challenge public schools to improve. Moreover, such school programs offer the working class and the poor the same opportunities that the wealthy have to send their children to alternative schools. Yet, it is fair to ask whether the diversion of public funds from public schools weakens and further threatens what was once a powerful institution of upward mobility for the poor and immigrants. I guess that pushed to the wall, I would choose school choice, if only because schools have suffered from the same kind of stifling bureaucratic climate that has so hindered so many public services. Yet --. So, as you note this is an awfully late breakfast. Tomorrow, my response will be at breakfast. Be well, George More Political Grandstanding Dear George, It's been raining heavily in NYC this morning. So if that wasn't enough to put a damper on anyone's mood, some radio reporters decided it was a good time to let us now that after all the spraying of mosquitoes (the stuff seems to kill butterflies and other birds and also adversely affect humans with asthma), we could have the same outbreak of Nile fever encephalitis next spring. Of course, the "dung on the Virgin Mary" has taken over the headlines from our public-health problem. In the latest twist, the mayor has the Brooklyn Museum conspiring with Christie's to inflate the value of the art collection in the exhibit. I'm sure some people in the hard-pressed, cash-poor museum were wondering why they hadn't thought of doing that in the first place! The political grandstanding is moving us even further away from confronting the very real public-policy challenges that you outlined in your letter. William Safire had a very thoughtful column in the Times today. He sees all the players as serving a very narrowly defined self-interest. He criticizes the Brooklyn Museum for mounting the offensive exhibition in the first place, and he also is offended by the mayor's confrontational litigious position. Pitting the "right to free artistic expression" against "accountability of public funds" isn't the right fight. He argues that "New York needs mediators, not gladiators." This position seems like the right one to me, but it has the luxury of ignoring the political reality in New York. The Brooklyn Museum is a stepchild when it comes to fund-raising and cachet, so they need both the attention and the money. The mayor "seen his opportunities and took 'em," as Plunkitt of Tammany Hall would have said. Once again, important issues of public policy are decided in a crisis atmosphere and the public's view is largely irrelevant. I'd like to think more about your position on charter schools and vouchers. I, too, have been struggling with this issue. Now, I am off to tape a cable show sponsored by the Citizens Union on the Charter-revision propositions that will be appearing on the NYC ballot in the November election. This is actually an important issue, but alas, has no sex, drugs, or rock 'n' roll angle to it, so the media has covered it minimally. Maybe I can come up with a hook before the show. Should I show a picture of a nude mayor, public advocate, comptroller and City Council speaker urinating on the City Charter? It wouldn't be difficult, they are all men! Warmest regards, Ester Defining Deviance Up Dear Ester: I am not certain whether we were to wrap up our conversation yesterday or today, however, I will send at least one more message. The quote from your last message is, of course, the crux of the issue that Alan Wolfe raised and has been at the core of much of my thinking. I, too, view myself as a religious person; however, I've been mostly out of the church since I left a Lutheran seminary in 1958. Having studied Christian existentialism, indeed all existentialism, avidly in college and seminary, I was wrestling with the idea of freedom from secular and religious institutions in terms of my personal morality quite early. And, for me, morality is a very personal issue. Over time, however, as the power of authoritative institutions waned--church, state, even family--I was increasingly struck by the reality that while many have handled their "moral freedom" responsibly, many others have used lack of external constraints to exploit and prey on others--personally, financially, sexually, violently, etc. Moreover, I became persuaded that society's reluctance to come down on such persons for minor incivilities and offenses, in one sense, trapped these people--especially young persons--into believing that there were no consequences for anything. So, we decriminalized virtually all minor offenses, we refused to confront young persons meaningfully for minor offenses--in New York City even burglary was for all practical purposes decriminalized (police didn't even bother investigating it)--and to use Moynihan's phrase, we "defined deviance down." To get into trouble, one really had to be a "bad-ass"--that is be outrageously confrontational and violent. Authority was a bad joke to them until they ran into "three strikes, you're out": the disastrous outcome for both society at large and individuals when society fails to meet its responsibility to take preventive actions early--both nurturing and controlling actions. So, I still wrestle with your phrase about moral authority. How can society maintain civility when everybody is "free" to define personal morality on their own terms, while some members of society are eager to use this "freedom" to intimidate, exploit, and prey on others? To provide an answer to my own question--"Why now" does the "great disruption" seem to be receding?--I would suggest that society in broad terms came to an understanding in the late 1980s that we had largely lost control of a relatively large number of youths and public spaces. And, a new idea developed: We had to enforce a balance between individual liberty and personal responsibility--certainly with nurturing and moral authority, but even with state authority. Anyway, I hope that sometime we can really have breakfast. I hope that your kids are well. I checked on my grandchildren (four) yesterday, and all seem to be doing well. (One refused to be seated in the school bus, and consequently ran into a massive assertion of parental authority.) Be well, George Battle of the Democratic Underdogs Running for president these days means convincing everyone that you're going to win until they don't believe you, at which point you must persuade them that you're behind. You can see this dynamic in the Gore-Bradley jockeying of recent days. Two months ago, the vice-president was thought to be so far ahead as to be unassailable. He was running against the putative Republican nominee, George W. Bush, not against his benign Democratic challenger. Gore did not acknowledge that the primary was a real contest. The name "Bill Bradley" did not pass his lips. But thanks to a steady stream of media negativity toward Gore and his campaign (and sympathy for Bradley), polls began pointing to a closer race. And once it became competitive, Gore needed to play the expectations game in a different way. By moving his campaign headquarters to Tennessee and challenging Bradley to a series of debates, Gore is trying to recast himself in the position that has served Bradley well: as a scrappy challenger and an outsider rather than the front-runner. He is trying to build down expectations for himself far enough that winning the Iowa caucuses or the New Hampshire primary by a slim margin will count as a victory, rather than as failure to meet expectations. You might think that Bradley would be pleased by his opponent's acknowledgement that it's a horse race. In fact, Bradley hates being called the front-runner. At a press conference last week, he bristled at the notion that he was expected to win the New York primary, even though he is ahead there in the polls. What Bradley is hoping for is a surge to lift him up early next year, carrying him to victory in the big primaries in New York, California and the Midwest. A wave that crests now could be a ripple by early March. All this is happening so early that we might well go through a few more turnarounds before voters actually pick the nominee. Now that Bradley is deemed viable by the press, he's beginning to receive harsher scrutiny. A few skeptical stories about him have already appeared. Next will be articles suggesting that Gore is far from done for--he has the wonder-economy on his side, is more moderate than Bradley, has the superdelegates locked up, etc. And the whole expectations cycle will replay itself. This dynamic has not set in on the Republican side--yet. George W. Bush is still running as if he lacks any serious opposition. But at some point, expect the press to start treating some other candidate as a plausible and promising contender. Polls will show a challenger "closing the gap" in Iowa or New Hampshire. He (or she) will make the cover of Time . At that point, Bush will appear with Al Gore's script before him. He will call for early debates, embrace "change," and say he welcomes the challenge. P.S. I will try to start this groundswell for John McCain on Monday. (Read more about Gore's attempt to become the media underdog in this week's Pundit Central.) Springtime for Haider The New York Times and Washington Post lead with the release of 1998 statistics on health insurance coverage in America: 44.3 million Americans are uninsured, up 1 million from 1997. The Los Angeles Times reefers this story, leading with tobacco companies suing for access to the raw data from anti-smoking studies, so that they can better refute them. USA Today leads with BellSouth's offer of $100 billion in the Sprint Corp. takeover battle. The NYT and Wall Street Journal say that Sprint's chief executive favors a friendly merger with MCI Worldcom (which offered $93 billion); either would make the takeover the largest ever. The Wall Street Journal front reports that Russian troops have entered Chechnya for the first time since a 1996 truce, and that skirmishes with Chechen troops ensued. (An untimely NYT front reports that troop insertion is imminent.) The LAT fronts the results of Austria's parliamentary elections, where the far-right Freedom Party made major gains, possibly supplanting the conservative People's Party as the second largest party in Austria. The LAT, WP, and the WSJ report that this could topple the current ruling coalition, but the NYT (which reefers the story) downplays the results, and the menace posed by the party and its leader, Joerg Haider. The Census Bureau's 1998 figures suggest that access to health insurance has not kept pace with economic prosperity. More than one-third of all Hispanic Americans lack coverage, outpacing all other racial and ethnic groups. The number of uninsured women climbed by over 1 million, while the number of uninsured men actually dropped by around 100,000. The number of uninsured children has changed little, despite a major 1997 program targeting America's 11 million uninsured youngsters. The papers blame the lack of coverage on welfare reforms that have trimmed Medicaid rolls. They disagree as to how well private employers have taken up the slack. The WP says a "bright spot" of the report finds that more people now receive insurance from their employers, but doesn't mention the possibility that this is simply because Medicaid cuts removed a more affordable alternative. The NYT suggests that employer-provided insurance has exacerbated the problem: many businesses have cut benefits or raised premiums, and many new jobs come from small businesses, which are less likely to provide insurance. The coalition between Austria's Social Democrats and the People's Party was formed in 1986 specifically to keep Haider's anti-immigrant, anti-NATO party from power. The People's Party leader had threatened to withdraw his party from the coalition if they lost too much ground in yesterday's polls, which is exactly what the WSJ , the WP, and LAT say happened. The NYT claims that a close finish and low turnout make the elections a nonevent, and that the People's Party leader is backing down from his earlier statements. The LAT and the WP allude to Haider's controversial 1991 praise of the Third Reich's "sound employment policies," while the NYT notes his resemblance to Kevin Costner, right down to his "amiable grin." Philip Morris has subpoenaed data from an influential study linking secondhand smoke and lung cancer. Researchers say that surrendering the data would violate the confidentiality participants were promised and threaten future research. Though defendants traditionally win such cases, the LAT predicts a victory for Philip Morris because the presiding judge has ruled in favor of the tobacco industry before. Russian officials deny that the Chechen skirmishes are the beginning of a full invasion; they only seek to establish a security zone to control traffic in and out of the republic, and to protect Dagestan from invasion. The NYT focuses on one Chechen village, a former refuge for a Chechen rebel commander, which has recently suffered severe attacks even though there is currently no indication of rebel presence in the village. The death of Sony co-founder Akio Morita gets front page mentions at the LAT, WP and USAT (a story ran in the NYT yesterday). All agree that Morita and Sony revolutionized the consumer electronics industry, helping Japan emerge as a postwar economic giant. According to the WP Pentagon officials were "ecstatic" after a ground-based missile interceptor tested well this weekend. Defense officials warn that this success was only a first step, and much more work is required to provide comprehensive protection. Skeptics warn that such protection is virtually impossible, and that further efforts will dampen relations with Russia and China. If current plans (beginning with 100 interceptors in Alaska) are implemented, the U.S. must either amend or break its 1972 Anti-Ballistic Missile Treaty with Russia. It's crazy, but it just might work: It's a testament to our cynical times that a politician can make news by declining to sling mud. The WP reports that Steve Forbes' upcoming TV ad blitz will deploy a radical new tactic, addressing George W. Bush's stances on education and tax cuts while ignoring, or actually praising, his character. Good Writing Gone Bad Dear Dinesh, I am pleased to have the opportunity to discuss this book with you, although as we both know, the book has already been so widely discussed that we are already part of a much larger conversation. And while I suspect we may disagree in some ways in our evaluation of Reagan as president, and of his legacy, it seems we agree in many ways on Morris' book. It is almost impossible to start reading Dutch (which, because of the Random House embargo, I was able to begin doing only on Friday) without focusing--at least at first--on Morris' unusual biographical techniques. There has already been a storm of criticism of his innovations, and I'm sure there will be many readers who will begin with some hostility toward him on the basis of the mostly uninformed reports they have read. I have to say that the prospect of reading a biography that tried to break with the fairly rigid forms of the genre was appealing to me, as strange as Morris' approach sounded, and I approached this book eagerly. The test of an innovation in any kind of writing, but particularly in nonfiction writing, is what contribution the innovation makes to our understanding of the subject the author is trying to illuminate. And there are times in which Morris' quasi-fictional narrator, his film scripts, his invented encounters, his blurring of the line between fantasy and reality, and his many other tricks of the trade do offer some interesting points of entry into Ronald Reagan's elusive inner life. But I have to say that, on the whole, and like you, I found these devices intrusive, omnipresent, and highly distracting from what should have been the central task of the book. It's not just that these techniques make it hard to know what is real and what is made up, although they do. It's also that they make it very difficult to concentrate on Reagan and much too easy to concentrate on the made-up cast of characters flitting around him, improbably preoccupied by him even in the years before he was important, writing back and forth to each other about their fictional encounters with him and with each other, telling the story of their own families in almost as much detail as they talk about Reagan's. I was particularly disturbed, as a scholar, by the presence of invented footnotes for the fictional parts of the book. But even without them, there is a surreal quality to this biography that makes it hard to focus on Morris' real views of Reagan's personality and place in history--which are also somewhat bizarre (although more about that later). Morris is not, of course, the first person to try to blend fiction and fact. Some very distinguished historians have experimented with doing so in recent years, some with great success. John Demos, an eminent historian of early America at Yale, wrote a fascinating book several years ago called The Unredeemed Captive , about a white woman in colonial New England who was abducted by Indians and lived much of her life among them. Demos augmented the known story of this woman with an imagined story of how she might have viewed her life with the tribe--something for which no evidence exists. It stirred some controversy, certainly, but it was a serious, inventive, and in the end I believe successful experiment. My Columbia colleague Simon Schama's Dead Certainties , also now several years old, was a deliberate effort to play with the elusive boundary between fiction and history and to suggest how the two might be fruitfully joined. That book, too, seemed to me very provocative and interesting. But Morris' potentially interesting effort to expand the boundaries of biography seems to have gone out of control. Partly, I suspect, because Morris is such a good writer--once he started experimenting at the edges he couldn't help himself from going all the way. Partly, perhaps, because he was genuinely puzzled by Reagan's apparent opaqueness--although as a biographer of Theodore Roosevelt, it seems strange that he would be surprised by a politician giving others little access to his own inner life. (I've spent much of my scholarly life working on and around Franklin Roosevelt, who is similarly opaque but has nevertheless been the subject of excellent and penetrating biographies.) In the end, though, I think Morris' real problem is that he doesn't understand American politics well enough, and doesn't know enough American history, to be able to make sense of Reagan in anything but personal terms--and that in the absence of an accessible personal story he was left, in effect, with nothing. The result is this hodgepodge of distracting literary techniques that are only intermittently effective and mostly deeply distracting from, even destructive to, his principal goal. After today, I'll try not to talk about this already overanalyzed aspect of the book and comment, as you have already begun to do, on what it says about Reagan himself. Alan Brinkley What Al Gore Doesn't Want You To Know Dear Mim: If, as I postulated in my book, Hello Kitty is a conspiracy of very small girls to take over the world, I wish they would hurry up and get their act together, because I absolutely do not think they could do a worse job than very rich, old and middle-aged men. I say this with some authority since I have discovered conclusively that world may well be about to end. This information came from the unlikely source of the normally ultraconservative London Sunday Telegraph , in which Jenny McCartney reports how a United Nations science project has discovered things are much worse than we hitherto imagined. A quarter of the world's mammals are at serious risk of extinction, 80 percent of the forests have now been cleared, and most coral reefs are either dead or dying. This is not to mention the huge chunks of ice that keep falling off Antarctica, or the radiation fallout from the Japanese nuclear plant accident that we're expecting momentarily here on the West Coast. I'm somewhat surprised our imminent demise has been ignored by the U.S. media, and entirely disappointed that the Post couldn't have come up with a headline like "Planet Earth--Fat Lady About To Sing." Even Al (Eco-boy) Gore has kept quiet on this one, although I suspect his handlers told him to ix-nay on the pocalypse-ay, not only because folks don't want to hear the bad news but also because of all those voters who believe that the United Nations will annex the country during Y2K chaos, take away our guns, and put us all in camps. (Believe me, they're out there. I met of lots of them while I was promoting my conspiracy book.) Since I'm about as daunted by the prospect of walking around with a sign saying "The End Is At Hand" as you are by public speaking, I will take the entirely selfish way out. Feed the cat, hope things hold together long enough for my next two novels to get into print, watch a lot of E! Channel TV, and resume all vices, since mere self-destruction no longer matters. It'd be nice to make enough money to spend the last days in the Roppongi red-light district of Tokyo. I was there with my band earlier in the year and it seemed the perfect place to spend Armageddon. The Hello Kitty uprising might also be in full swing. Tiny schoolgirls with automatic weapons putting Klebold and Harris to shame. I don't believe Bob Dylan wears a toupee, but I will ask Susan, she knows about these things. (There is no hair inside the Gates of Eden?) My last word on the Backstreet Boys is that Howard Stern has a magnificent parody of "I Want It That Way" called "Get KY." If nothing more fascinating comes up, remind me tomorrow to tell you why George W. is really being given so much money to get elected. My authority on this is no less than Jane's Defense Weekly , so watch out. Also, did you see that the Enquirer has an interview with the mother of one of Kathie Lee's slave garment workers in El Salvador? Maybe this world should be doomed. Love, Mick Nixon: I Am Not an Anti-Semite The National Archives' latest release of Nixon White House tapes is, as usual, a bracing antidote to historical revisionism. Whenever the academic world is tempted to adopt a more favorable view of Nixon's character, new Nixon tapes always seem to appear that squelch the impulse. (To read Slate 's David Greenberg on Nixon revisionists, click here.) The theme of the latest release, according to articles in yesterday's Washington Post and today's New York Times , is Nixon's anti-Semitism. We already knew, of course, that Nixon had a pathological hatred of Jews. (Scroll down to the bottom of " Deep Throat: The Game Is Afoot" to see Nixon's outrage on discovering that Mark Felt, a high-ranking FBI official believed by both Nixon and Chatterbox to have been Deep Throat, is Jewish.) But even Chatterbox was taken aback at the virulence of some of Nixon's comments on the new tapes--which, sadly, are not available either in audio or in transcript form on the Web. (The best Chatterbox can do is refer you to the quotations in the Post and Times stories, which were based on the reporters' own transcriptions.) Here's a fairly stunning snippet from George Lardner's Post piece: Washington "is full of Jews," the president asserted. "Most Jews are disloyal." He made exceptions for some of his top aides, such as national security adviser Henry Kissinger, his White House counsel, Leonard Garment, and one of his speechwriters, William Safire, and then added: "But, Bob, generally speaking, you can't trust the bastards. They turn on you. Am I wrong or right?" Haldeman agreed wholeheartedly. "Their whole orientation is against you. In this administration, anyway. And they are smart. They have the ability to do what they want to do--which is to hurt us." And here's a similarly outrageous example from Irvin Molotsky's story in the Times : "The only two non-Jews in the communist conspiracy," [Nixon] said, "were [Whittaker] Chambers and [Alger] Hiss. Many felt that Hiss was. He could have been a half, but he was not by religion. The only two non-Jews. Every other one was a Jew. And it raised hell with us." Most stunning of all, however, was the Times' assertion that the Richard Nixon Library and Birthplace in Yorba Linda, which purports to be a serious research institution, "issued a statement saying the President was not anti-Semitic " [italics Chatterbox's]. Chatterbox, always wary of paraphrase, decided to take a closer look at the Nixon Library's statement, which you can read by going to the Library Web site and clicking on "The White House Tape Recordings, February to July 1971: A Guide to the Major Themes and Personalities." Actually, the Nixon Library document nowhere says that Nixon was not anti-Semitic. The phrases "anti-Semite" and "anti-Semitic" don't appear in the Nixon Library document at all , aside from this passage: President Nixon, after expressing the view that most Jewish Americans are insisting that the Administration go along with what he regards as Israeli intransigence on the Suez Canal and other Mideast peace issues while refusing to give him support on his Vietnam policy, remarks: "If anybody who's been in this chair ever had reason to be anti-Semitic [italics Chatterbox's] , I did." H.R. Haldeman replies: "That's for damn sure." The President continues: "And I'm not, you know what I mean? Accepted, I'm not pro-Israel; I'm not going to let Israel's tail wag the dog." However , the overall thrust of the portion of the Nixon Library document that interprets Nixon's remarks on "Jewish Americans" is indeed to downplay Nixon's comic-book anti-Semitism: As with his attitudes toward African Americans, the President's words about the Jewish community on these tapes show that his basic sense of compassion and support for these communities tends to co-exist with terminology from an earlier time. An earlier time? This was 1971, not 1917! Attitudes toward African Americans were appalling (many would say they still are), but attitudes toward Jews --particularly in Washington--were fairly benign. The Nixon Library seems eager to blame Haldeman for egging Nixon on: It should be noted that the President's comments regarding lack of political support for the Administration among many Jewish Americans frequently occur when Haldeman is present, and that Haldeman is generally quick to note when some person who is the subject of adverse comment happens to be Jewish ... It should further be noted that Haldeman's eagerness to enable Nixon's Jew-hating, which may have stemmed from his tendency to pander to all of Nixon's worst instincts, or may have reflected sincere anti-Semitism of his own--Chatterbox has no idea--does nothing to mitigate the appalling bigotry of Nixon's comments. The Nixon Library's gloss on Nixon's remarks about Jews ends by pointing out that despite Nixon's initial misgivings about appointing Herbert Stein to chair the Council on Economic Advisors (Stein, who prior to his recent death was a Slate contributor, was also Jewish), the President, within months, would make Stein his Chairman of the CEA--just as he would give the Jewish state unequivocal, life-saving support in the 1973 Arab-Israeli War. * The actions of the President, as well as the substantial documentary record of the Nixon Administration, should always be kept in mind when evaluating his words on the White House tapes. Chatterbox won't dispute that this century has seen bigger anti-Semites than Richard Nixon. On the other hand, Nixon's comments about Jews make, say, Pat Buchanan's seem comparatively benign. (This is not to excuse Buchanan, who in the latest issue of George --OK, in a profile written by Chatterbox--implores, preposterously, that if he were an anti-Semite, "Would I have a Jewish doctor who deals with my heart? Would I have a Jewish broker?") Chatterbox would think that part of the burden of working at the Nixon Library is conceding that Richard Nixon, while no doubt misunderstood in many ways, was one wicked anti-Semite. But a glance back at the Nixon Library's Web site reminds Chatterbox that for the Nixon Library, the fundraising (hence the need to downplay controversy) never stops. "FOR YOUR NEXT SPECIAL EVENT, CHOOSE THE NIXON LIBRARY!" reads the lettering on a faux campaign button. Click it and you receive an energetic pitch to hold your next corporate dinner, or even your next wedding, on these hallowed grounds: BEFORE YOU SIT DOWN TO DINNER in our terrazo tiled, birdseye maple lined foyer, join your guests for a sunset reception in our spectacular gardens. Promenade down the colonnade walkways, tour the original birthplace home of the President, and muse on the tranquility or our handsome reflecting pool. Which raises the question: Where to put the chuppah ? *For Stein's own view of Nixon and Jews, click here . Groping the New New Thing The New York Times leads with the news that the IRS has been letting tax delinquents go without paying back taxes amounting to billions of dollars. The Washington Post goes local, reporting D.C. Mayor Anthony Williams' latest plan for streamlining D.C. government: He'll "reclassify [nice euphemism] about 900 mid-level managers in D.C. government so they could be fired without explanation if they do not do a good job." The Los Angeles Times lead says Clinton criticized the Senate during a Saturday speech to the U.S. Hispanic Leadership Institute for delaying consideration of Latinos he's appointed to judicial posts. A liberal group, People for the America Way, says seven of the 10 candidates for judicial posts whose nominations have been delayed longest are women or minorities. Senate Majority Leader Trent Lott argues that of 19 Clinton nominees confirmed this year, four are women; four Latino; and one African American. The expanding Latino vote has yet to be claimed by any leading presidential candidate. Understaffing and the IRS's interpretation of new (1997 and 1998) Congressional rules to mean the agency must collect all back taxes from a delinquent taxpayer or none, rather than negotiating a payment schedule, get a lot of the blame for the IRS mess. An anonymous Connecticut delinquent who owes 90 grand is negotiating to settle his debt with a lump payment possibly as low as 22% of what he would have paid. He calls the IRS policy "crazy." Other delinquents are taking their chances, hoping the IRS won't act before a 10-year statue of limitations term runs out. A NYT editorial calls on Congress to act responsibly in regards to another state of arrears: The U.S. legally owes the UN $1 billion in back dues. The LAT off-leads that researchers at Boston's Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center believe they've developed the first effective therapy for cystic fibrosis (CF). It involves administering large amounts of a deficient fatty acid and is based on experiments with CF-inflicted mice. Human testing could begin early next year. The Post fronts a biographical piece about young Al Gore, painting him as inordinately cautious, responsible, competitive, perfectionistic, dutiful. Under his high-school yearbook picture, editors ran an Anatole France quote: "People who have no weaknesses are terrible." (Clinton has certainly proven the corollary this statement implies to be true.) Wife Tipper is quoted on her first impression of him: "I thought, 'Oh, boy! He's good looking.' " NYT columnist Maureen Dowd says Gore's campaign is "already a matter of damage control." His campaigning has been so "weirdly incompetent," she claims, that "those close to him" are wondering whether he really wants the presidency or if he's just running because his Senator dad always wanted him to. The Post also fronts a story about an escaped Maryland murderer who police say may be dangerous. Next to it is an unrelated picture of a man at a D.C. festival. Wouldn't a picture of the escapee make more sense? The NYT off-leads an analysis of the Comprehensive Test Ban treaty, currently being debated by the Senate, which would ban underground nuclear testing. Online, the piece includes a link to the treaty itself. Critics worry it will weaken America's position in the nuclear arms race. Since a 1992 moratorium on underground testing, the government has used computer and nonnuclear explosive tests to check America's nuclear stockpile. Clinton attached a condition to the treaty saying the U.S. would pull out if its stockpile isn't certified. The final paragraphs carry the news that nuke tests are more important for perfecting new weapons than correcting flaws in old ones. And according to a 1996 study, fewer than 1 percent of 830 specific defect discoveries, made between 1958 and 1993, in the U.S. stockpile resulted from nuclear testing. The writer does not explore what might happen if, as critics fear, "rogue states develop the capacity to attack our cities," as former U.N. delegate Jeane Kirkpatrick put it. A lengthy LAT front piece, the first in a three-part series, states that while restoring democracy and reforming politics and economics were top priorities during the last two decades in Latin America, the focus is now turning, necessarily, to eradicating police corruption. The NYT magazine includes a piece on Jim Clark, founder of Silicon Graphics and Netscape. The piece describes the type of person who makes it big in Silicon Valley as someone who recognizes "the new new thing... [Translation:] a notion that's poised to be taken seriously. It's the idea that is moments from gaining general acceptance and, when it does, will change the world." He describes a realization he had about the Internet, circa 1995: "All of a sudden it was clear to me ... that I was looking at the [equivalent of the] personal computer in 1985," Clark said. "It was this slow, clunky technology but people were using it. And it would get faster. I realized that this was the thing I'd been groping for." All in the Same Boat Susan Faludi's Stiffed argues American men are suffering from a masculinity crisis, but it isn't women's fault. She conducted a wide range of interviews over the last few years across the grain of American society--shipbuilders, magazine editors, Promise Keepers, aging Vietnam veterans. The crisis of masculinity she describes appears on two fronts. One involves "utilitarian masculinity," which is the pride of self men feel thanks to their skills, their commitments to their work, and to other men in the course of accomplishing a task. The other sort of masculinity she calls "ornamental," and it is just that, the ornaments of cigars/leather chairs/Porsches/babes that festoon the pages of Details , Esquire , and the New York Times "Men's Fashions" supplement. The utilitarian male is a producer, the ornamental male is a consumer. In Faludi's view, men as producers suffer from the changes in work that more largely frame today's capitalism. This is a short-term world in which people are constantly changing jobs, dealing in intangibles of information and connections rather than making solid things, a world in which the craftsman who nurtures a skill over his lifetime is out of place. Correspondingly, male consumers are being sold fickle and impossible images of their sexuality and their social honour: fickle because the clothes, face creams, and similar goods now change like women's hemlines, offering no stable sense of self, impossible ornaments because the Porsche and the $10 cigar lie in the realm of fantasy for most men struggling to make ends meet. Put so baldly, Faludi's argument may seem just another version of Demon Capitalism. But she is too good an interviewer to be trapped in that clich. When she interviews shipbuilders losing their jobs, for instance, she shows how the old-fashioned pride in doing a good job remains even when the shipbuilders have come to the very end of their employment; their craft pride transcends any whining about being capitalism's victims. No more does the ornamental male wear his jewelry of self comfortably; the buffed pecs and washboard stomachs portrayed in the Times ' men's section are sources of anxiety rather than pleasure. Perhaps the most spacious dimension of Faludi's argument is that she, unlike many feminist writers, has a real feel for male bonding, and for the need of men to feel they can hold their heads up with honor. She doesn't succumb to the simple-minded idea that male honor inevitably requires female oppression. Again, in her interviews with the post-Vietnam generation, she reaches out to understand the bonds forged by the violence of men at war. Above all, while she rejects the notion that the crisis of utilitarian masculinity in the workplace has resulted from the gains middle-class women workers have made in the last generation, she also shows that many women employees have been insensitive to the confusions of self that the new economy has bred in men. The very openness and depth of her interviewing poses the first question I have about Stiffed . Is this really a book about maleness, or is it a reflection in the lives of men of something more generally applicable to American society, female as well as male? Isn't Faludi describing a society in which social honor and self-respect are largely in short supply, or supplied in a fashion that can give no real satisfaction? In interviews I've done with female nurses and mental-health workers, for instance, I've found the same sense of craft, and the same feeling that the short-term cost-cutting of the medical business leaves them no room to realize their own inner potential. A second large question: "Ornamental culture," Faludi tells us, is "at its core ... a virulent voyeurism" with sex being its "gold standard" [p.505]. But the interviews she conducts, as with the Promise Keepers, seem to me more about the ornaments of fatherhood and husband-hood, an inability of American males to find on the tube or at the movies images of how fathers and husbands ought to deal with the complexities of parenting and long-term relationships. Either the domestic male is portrayed as a goody-goody moral saint or as a guilt-ridden prisoner of the intimate realm. Sex isn't the issue, I think; the consumer culture has trivialized adult experiences of responsibility, flattened out intimacy so that it appears a zone in which people, women as well as men, are pulled between self development and obligation to others: Ozzie and Harriet vs. Eyes Wide Shut (a film that for all its sex tries to show sex is anything but the "gold standard" for a man; the inchoate but strong impulse to break free is what really drives the male character). Finally, as an American living abroad, I was struck in reading Faludi's interviews how resonant they are with issues of self-worth and self-image among men here in Britain. It's easy for Americans to imagine that our mobile, placeless society doesn't give people much outside themselves with which to identify; indeed, in her interviews, Faludi finds many men longing for a mythical time when they knew where they belonged. But that longing for a lost home, a secure sense of self, appears equally in Britain--or in Germany. And this brings us back to the issue of capitalism. The disturbances of work and consumption that Faludi so brilliantly depicts are, I think, global in scope, they cut across the boundaries of gender, and they transcend sexual vanity. Harry Potter and the Iowa Caucuses This February, people from all over the small and ethanol-subsidy-dependent state of Iowa will gather to cast the first votes in the 2000 presidential-nominating process. The method whereby this is done is understood by almost no one (click here for a summary of how the Democrats do it, and here for a summary of how the Republicans do it), and has been subjected to much intelligent criticism (click here to read Chatterbox's predecessor in this column, Mickey Kaus, on the subject). But Chatterbox is not one to knock the status quo without proposing a practical alternative. In that spirit, he suggests replacing the Iowa caucus with a Sorting Hat. Readers of J.K. Rowling's phenomenally popular Harry Potter books will recognize the Sorting Hat as a magical wizard's hat, pointed and "patched and frayed and extremely dirty," that assigns new students at Hogwarts, the boarding school for aspiring wizards, to one of four houses--Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, or Slytherin. Gryffindor is where the series' hero, Harry, is assigned, and Slytherin is where its murderous villain, Lord Voldemort, was assigned when he was a boy (it now houses Harry's obnoxious rival, Draco Malfoy, and Malfoy's half-wit sidekicks, Crabbe and Goyle). Chatterbox may as well quote (from Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone ) the song the Sorting Hat sings to the assembled new students in full: Oh, you may not think I'm pretty, But don't judge on what you see, I'll eat myself if you can find A smarter hat than me. You can keep your bowlers black, Your top hats sleek and tall, For I'm the Hogwarts Sorting Hat And I can cap them all. There's nothing hidden in your head The Sorting Hat can't see, So try me on and I will tell you Where you ought to be. You might belong in Gryffindo r , Where dwell the brave at heart, Their daring, nerve, and chivalry Set Gryffindors apart; You might belong in Hufflepuff , Where they are just and loyal, Those patient Hufflepuffs are true And unafraid of toil; Or yet in wise old Ravenclaw , If you've a ready mind, Where those of wit and learning, Will always find their kind; Or perhaps in Slytheri n You'll make your real friends, Those cunning folk use any means To achieve their ends. So put me on! Don't be afraid! And don't get in a flap! You're in safe hands (though I have none) For I'm a Thinking Cap! The advantage of the Sorting Hat is that it doesn't tell you which candidate is best; it merely sorts the candidates according to their most pronounced characteristics. Chatterbox can't know, of course, how the Sorting Hat would assign the current candidates in the Democratic and Republican primary races, but in the spirit of political punditry offers the following prediction: Chatterbox gratefully acknowledges technical assistance for this item from Rosina B. Williams, age 11, of Jersey City, N.J. Stop Putting Words in Greenspan's Mouth Among the many factors that sent the stock market tumbling last week was Fed Chairman Alan Greenspan's speech Thursday night to a conference sponsored by the Office of the Comptroller of the Currency. (I'm assuming that's the United States' Comptroller of the Currency, though I'm not really sure what the comptroller of the currency, as opposed to a comptroller of a company, does.) Greenspan's speech, which dealt with the "fundamental sources of risk" and the limitations of the traditional risk-management models financial institutions use, did not spook an already nervous stock market because anyone actually read or listened to the speech. It spooked the market because Greenspan mentioned the reality of market panics, and because he linked "Dutch tulip bulbs" with "Russian equities." God only knows what would have happened had he mentioned "tulip bulbs" and "Internet stocks" in the same phrase. Greenspan didn't make that connection, but a lot of outside observers did, leading to the inevitable conclusion that, in his typically oblique way, the Fed chairman was trying to talk down stock prices in general and Internet stock prices--which, though not quite as gaudy as they were back in April, are still pretty hefty--in particular. This is the wrong conclusion. Although Greenspan did speak to the idea that investors are starting to see stocks as not much more risky than bonds (an idea associated with the authors of Dow 36,000 --see Slate 's "Crapshoot" for a critique of this idea), the real focus of his speech was something much broader, namely the way financial panics tend to eradicate the delicate distinctions between different classes of assets, distinctions that any market system needs in order to invest for the future. The two most striking things about financial panics, at least in the modern economic world, are that they happen more often than one would expect in a normal (bell-curve-shaped) distribution of events, and that when they happen, they tend to spread rather than remain localized. What Greenspan was arguing was that we have to take these considerations into effect when we think about managing risk in the future. Specifically, he said, banks have to set aside "higher contingency resources--reserves or capital," and recognize the limits of the models they're using. Panics can't be anticipated, after all. That's what makes them panics. Now, you might say that this speech should have spooked the stock market, since the Fed chairman was saying that sudden crises of investor confidence can descend without warning. But that is something we all knew already. More to the point, saying a crisis can descend without warning is not the same as saying that it can descend without causes. Talking about the current stock market as a bubble without taking into account the extraordinary performance of corporate America--which Greenspan himself cited in his speech--is to treat all episodes of investor confidence as identical. They aren't. More important, Greenspan's real point was that there are few safe havens once a financial crisis starts. Last year, for example, during global crisis, investors flocked to the 30-year Treasury bond but were totally unwilling to buy the 29-year bond, even though the difference in risk between the two assets was presumably minimal. In that sense, saying that stocks are riskier than bonds because the stock market could crash is wrong. If crashes determine risk, then there are very few assets that you can really call safe. In that sense, if Greenspan was trying to talk down the stock market, he was trying to talk down all markets. Which I think tells us that he wasn't trying to do anything of the sort. His message was a simpler one: Be more careful than you think you have to be. From Clay to Silicon I find, as you suggested, that computers are having an impact on student writing. More and more students compose at the keyboard, and some are even becoming comfortable editing on-screen. Students spends lots of time using computers, and right now that means they're writing and reading a lot, since using the Web and sending e-mail requires lots of writing and reading. In the bookstore yesterday I was looking over Clifford Stoll's new book attacking computer use in education. I haven't read the book, so I can't summarize his stance, but on one page he was complaining that students spent too much time interfacing via computer, to the detriment of face-to-face experience. He cites a teen-age boy who boasted of spending his entire summer vacation online and quotes one 13-year-old girl who insists the only way to meet boys to is log on. I think Stoll's probably overestimating how much time teen-agers spend wired, though I do see that computer technology often blinds us to the possibilities of using more traditional technologies. I remember once a colleague who came running into my office complaining that his e-mail was down and he needed to get some vital information from a colleague several states away. While we scratched our heads figuring out how he could e-mail his colleague from my workstation, a third friend came up and suggested, "Why not use the telephone?" We hadn't thought of that! I would argue that all writing is a technology, and to emphasize the technological aspect of writing I have my students spend an hour writing in an old, unfamiliar technology. I give each student 4 ounces of children's modeling clay, a wooden skewer, a length of -inch dowel, and a writing assignment. Their task is to fashion the clay into a writing surface, then do the writing assignment using the clay and the wooden stylus. When they are done, we talk about how this was different from the more conventional writing technologies they are used to: pencil and paper, computer (few seem to use typewriters anymore). As Sam Johnson might have put it, writing on clay really concentrates the mind. It forces you to think about elements of writing that have become more or less automatic in a more ordinary setting. Here are some of things my students find: You look at writing differently if you have to prepare the surface. Inscribing on clay means you can't use cursive very easily, or even rounded print characters. Clay's not easy to edit. And it's not that easy to read the final product. You can't put a lot of writing on four ounces of clay, and you can really only use one side, so you have to make all the space count. Clay could get heavy if you had to carry around more than a few "pages" of it. And clay allows you to play with document design in ways you might not with pencil and paper. Will computer use improve student writing? Not necessarily, although there's some suggestion that writing a lot does help, and students are writing more with computers than they were before, so far as I can tell. It's certainly easier to revise on a computer: Students tend to forget that "cut and paste" once involved literal scissors and glue, a laborious process that I used to get me through a dissertation almost 30 years ago. I myself can write for longer stretches using a computer, with less physical and psychological strain, than when I was using an electric typewriter. New writing technologies have their downsides, inevitably. There was a complaint voiced in the New York Times when typewriters were coming into favor in offices that the typewriter depersonalized the written word, since the reader seemed further removed from actual contact with the human element in writing. To some extent this was true, but it was also a bit silly, since before the typewriter there was a great emphasis on people developing uniform, depersonalized handwriting to ensure legibility. The computer allows us to revise, true, but in that process I see that we lose what I call the "archeology" of the text, the stages through which it passes from first to final draft. I used to miss that. Now I don't. But here's something to ponder, and let it be my farewell to this chat, which I've found interesting and hope that the readers over our shoulders did as well: The next generation of text processing with computers promises sophisticated voice-to-text programs. Is the keyboarding of text only a temporary phenomenon, then? Will we, or our children, be talking their essays into microphones, composing peripatetically and out loud like Wordsworth "writing" his poems, or bosses dictating letters to secretaries in 1950s TV sitcoms? I trust that that will still count as "writing," though I imagine some technophobes will insist that it is not writing since the composition will be untouched by human hands. In any case, Jesse, I leave it to you to have the last word. Best, Dennis Shattering Glass-Steagall The Washington Post leads with a House Republican plan to cut Government spending across-the-board by 1.4 percent. The Republicans contend that cutting $4.5 billion from federal agencies and delaying $1.3 billion in health spending will fill the hole in their budget. Administration officials argue that the Republican plan does not add up and that the proposal would force layoffs and harm military readiness. House Majority Leader Richard Armey (R-Tex.) explained his vision of how the Defense Department could cut 1.4 percent from its $260 billion budget: "Instead of having two colonels to hold your paper, you'll have only one major." The NYT and the LAT carry the story inside. The New York Times and the Los Angeles Times lead with the product of decades of debate and intensive lobbying--an agreement to transform American banking laws. Democrats and Republicans resolved to repeal the Depression-era Glass-Steagall law, which restricted the cross-ownership of banks, brokerages, and insurers. If the accord is enacted, a NYT analysis forecasts that financial institutions will agglomerate into "universal banks" to provide one-stop financial shopping. Consumers could benefit from reduced costs. The LAT notes that the bill will prohibit nonfinancial companies from buying banks. Even though Senate Republicans acceded to a Democratic provision that will prevent banks with unsatisfactory lending records from moving into other financial services, advocates for disadvantaged borrowers argue that the agreement fails to strengthen fair lending laws. Yesterday, the WP was able to squeeze early news of the 2 a.m. agreement into a late edition. Today, the story is the Post 's off-lead. All papers report that the stock market soared over 172.5 points on news of the accord. The LAT fronts a United Nations Security Council vote to send 6,000 peacekeepers to Sierra Leone. A NYT story explains that the peacekeepers will disarm Sierra Leone rebels. The United States will contribute logistical support to the operation, but no combat troops. On Monday, the Security Council is expected to approve sending 10,000 U.N. troops to East Timor. The new commitments will double the number of peacekeepers in the field. The U.N. is also considering sending as many as 20,000 peacekeepers to the Congo. The Post fronts Russia's acceptance and disavowal of responsibility for the bombing of a Chechen market. The incident cost over 100 lives. Among the dead are women and children. A Russian military spokesman said that special forces bombed the market because it was actually an arms bazaar. But Russian Prime Minster Vladimir Putin claimed that the explosion was caused by warring Chechen rebels. The NYT and LAT carry the story inside. All papers assert that evidence points towards a Russian bombardment. According to the New York Times , as violence spreads Chechens are fleeing into the neighboring republic of Ingushetia, where it is estimated that 185,000 civilians are seeking refuge. All the papers bury their coverage of the New Hampshire debate among contenders for the Republican presidential nomination. The NYT says that the five candidates "virtually ignored" front-runner George W. Bush and focused on criticizing Bill Clinton. The WP asserts that after the debate the five attending politicians blasted Bush by arguing that his absence from the stage was an affront to voters. "I think he was the big loser here tonight," Steve Forbes said of the absent Bush. ( Slate 's Jacob Weisberg analyzes the debate and highlights its stranger moments.) A NYT piece reports on a particularly creative Internet start-up. RonsAngels.com, the brainchild of former Playboy director Ron Harris, auctions the eggs of fashion models to the highest bidder (presumably infertile couples.) Even though the site will not premiere until Monday, Ron has already received a $42,000 bid for one of his angel's eggs. Some ethicists are troubled by the combination of e-commerce, eugenics and egg pimping. Stealth Health Care Reform NATO operations in Bosnia lead the New York Times . At the Washington Post , it's a surprising element of the just-passed budget bill. The Los Angeles Times leads with President Clinton's advocacy of a fast-track trade bill. This choice by the LAT is curious. The topic of a fast-track trade bill is technical--it's a guarantee that Congress will act quickly to vote up or down any new trade accord rather than lay on amendments--and it's non-pressing--it's something that the Clinton administration has tried to secure since 1995 and won't actively be pursuing for several more weeks until after the president and Congress return from their summer vacations. Meanwhile, the LAT relegates a far more important story to the second banana position, on the top left quadrant of the front--"Crackdown on Assault Weapons Has Missed Mark." This piece makes the point that despite a California ban against assault weapons put into effect in 1989 and a similar federal statute five years later, "today, thousands of assault weapons are changing hands because of gaping holes in the laws." What happened, the story explains, is that the gun manufacturers got around the intent of the laws by flooding the market with copycat weapons that differ from the particular banned ones only cosmetically, and by substantially increasing the volume of assault weapons they manufactured before the ban became law, because the post-ban continued sale of such guns is allowed. This bass-ackwards news judgement comes from being too attached to "presidential" news---after all, Clinton mentioned the trade bill in his weekly radio address--and to "breaking" news--the radio address is something that "happened" on Saturday, while the disaster of the gun bills is not. The NYT Bosnia lead emphasizes the risks being taken by the current NATO policy of backing one Bosnian Serb faction against another, and reports local sentiment that Radovan Karadzic will probably respond with intimidation and violence. On the other hand, says the Times , NATO commanders feel that if they pull out next summer as scheduled under the status quo, there is a strong chance that war will resume. (In short the situation is much like the Allied forces in Lebanon in the early 1980s, an analogy the piece surprisingly didn't make.) The WP lead draws attention to an initiative buried in the new federal budget agreement that will pay teaching hospitals across the country to reduce the number of residents they train in various specialties. This is in effect, an example of stealth heath care reform, as reducing the number of specialists was one of the Clinton health plan goals. All the more remarkable then, that the Republicans signed on. But some conservatives are less than thrilled. "I don't know where the hell a Republican Congress gets off doing labor force planning for the medical profession," Robert E. Moffit of the Heritage Foundation tells the Post . The Times "Arts and Leisure" section points out just what a big comeback smoking has made on the big screen. "Half the movies released between 1990 and 1995," says the paper, "featured a major character who chose to light up on screen, a significant increase compared with 29 percent in the 1970's, according to a recent study at the University of California, San Francisco." The Meaning of the IBM Sell-Off It's hard to tell if this is still the Era of Stock Market Good Feeling or if a combination of Y2K concerns, rising interest rates, misreadings of Alan Greenspan, and conventional "October is a bad month for stocks" has brought it to a sudden end. What we seem to be living through right now is a strange time in which the market is simultaneously being excoriated as overvalued and hysterical and being described as being in a slump that forebodes bad things ahead. Can't win for losing. As evidence of investor hysteria, the financial media often point to things like the $40 billion market-cap hit that IBM took at the end of last week, after it announced that it would have two, and perhaps three, disappointing quarters in a row because its customers were cutting back on spending in order to take care of potential Y2K problems. Momentum investors pile into a stock, the narrative goes, and then pile out of it without paying any attention to the fundamentals, so that good buy-and-hold investors get whipsawed for no good reason. But what happened to IBM on Thursday, far from being evidence of a flighty stock market, was instead a sign of just how discriminating investors have become. If stock prices really were being driven solely by inflated margin balances and the overconfidence bred by years of 20 percent plus returns, you'd expect investors to be forgiving. In fact, they are more punitive then ever. Investors are willing to pay high prices for companies that deliver consistent above-average cash-flow growth. But if there are signs that a company's ability to deliver that kind of growth may be faltering--and IBM's announcement was a Vegas-style neon sign to that effect--then the market will pummel a stock quickly. The speed with which a negative earnings report can vaporize a company's market cap is also sometimes held up as problematic. But here again, it's no surprise that in a world in which trading costs are minuscule, the diffusion of information nearly instantaneous, and trading volume immense, prices will change very fast in the wake of significant news. This just means that markets are more efficient, not less, in the sense that they establish a new equilibrium price--or as close to it as they can ever get--in the space of a day, and not a week. IBM's stock price bumped up a little bit on Friday, but stayed steady today, which suggests that Thursday's sell-off was not some massive overreaction. The most important thing about the IBM sell-off, though, was what it wasn't , namely an impetus for a more general sell-off in technology. In the past (and even the recent past), we've seen announcements like the one that Big Blue made have a ripple effect on tech stocks across the board, as momentum and program traders bailed out of anything that might suffer from association with a big name's blowup. But last week, investors rather quickly recognized that IBM's problems seemed company-specific, and that companies that had reported excellent earnings during the week--like AOL--should be bought, not sold. In other words, investors rewarded the companies that should have been rewarded and punished those that should have been punished. Capital was allocated sensibly, rather than hysterically. There are, of course, always going to be under- and overreactions, like the one that victimized Tyco or the one that sent the stock of Cisco (which I own shares of) plummeting on Friday after an unsubstantiated rumor that the company would miss estimates hit the Street. But what last week's action suggested is that five (or 10, or 17, depending on how you're counting) years of a bull market have not made investors careless or blinded by success. Eternal vigilance ... Well, something like that. Keyes Loses It HANOVER, N.H.--The second Republican debate was enlivened by the presence of two hecklers who got inside the Dartmouth auditorium where the town hall-style forum was taking place. One, a young woman, shouted that military spending should be cut to provide better health care until she was ejected from the hall. The other, Alan Keyes, ranted and raved about a variety of topics but was allowed to remain. Keyes is an intelligent man, but tonight he seemed truly deranged. In response to a question put to all the candidates about whether they supported a flat tax, Keyes declared that the income tax was both socialism and slavery. "The income tax is a form of tax that was advocated by Marx and Lenin because it cedes in principle to the government control of EVERY LAST DOLLAR that is made or earned in income," he bellowed, walking to the edge of the stage. "THINK ABOUT IT," he shouted at the audience. "If I have to give you a percentage of my income and you get to determine the percentage, how much are you in control of? HOW MUCH? ANSWER IT!!! ALL OF IT, EVERY LAST BIT OF IT." This assault left everyone a bit stunned, but it was just a warm-up for his answer to a polite and intelligent question about whether the United States ought to pay its back U.N. dues. "If you want to blame somebody for that billion-dollar deficit, blame me!" he shrieked. "I was one of the people in the Reagan administration who helped to put together and foster the policy that withheld our contributions from the United Nations. The United Nations that takes our money--tosses it down the RATHOLE!" During these screeds, someone in the CNN editing room kept cutting to audience members who were rolling their eyes, giggling, or trying to suppress gales of laugher. I'd say Keyes was one step away from being hauled away in a straitjacket. He, on the other hand, thought he was the hands-down winner. As soon as the debate ended, he came upstairs to the hall where the press was watching on a big-screen TV and offered to take questions. Reporters, pecking out their stories on deadline, didn't immediately respond with any. At that point, Keyes truly lost it, accusing the press of racism for ignoring him. I think his tirade is worth recording in full: You know what's fascinating? Can I make a statement here? The New Hampshire debate that was held in the '96 race, they did the polling afterward. I actually won the debate in the eyes of the people polled. I OFTEN win these debates, and every time I stand before you press folks, you have no questions. I find it kind of amazing. At some point, you know, one has to start to wonder. The people of this country have gotten over their racial sickness. I don't know that you folks have. I think that merit means nothing to you because you can't look past race. And I think I'm deadly SICK of it. Every time I get in front of audiences in this country, they respond, just as it was tonight, to the answers THAT I GIVE. But your response is nothing because you don't represent those people. You apparently represent the same money powers that are seeking to destroy the representative nature of our government. I frankly think you all ought to be ashamed of yourselves. At some point you ought to wake up to your responsibility not to let vice take place in darkness and not to let virtue languish unnoticed. That's your job, but you don't do it, DO YOU? Instead you PANDER to the money. But if you were doing your job, we wouldn't have to worry about campaign-finance reform, because there would be sufficient attention paid to every candidate in the race that the American people would know who they are and what they stand for without the expenditure of billions of dollars. But they don't know, because you won't do your job. That's SAD! And it's DESTROYING our democracy. With that, Keyes stormed off the stage and departed the room, leaving reporters somewhat stunned. In fact, I think the racial factor works mildly in Keyes' favor. If he were a white Republican, and thus less of a novelty, the press would portray him more directly as a fanatic. Ignoring Keyes is the kindest thing the press can do for him. The rest of the evening was less exciting. If there was a theme, it was turning up the heat on George W. Bush for not showing. A New Hampshire television reporter who interviewed Bush before the debate asked if he wasn't trying to get the job of president without the job interview. Bush took umbrage, saying he had to attend a dinner held in honor of his wife, Laura, and that his family came first. The excuse is, of course, bogus, as was Bush's last one about having to attend a fund-raiser in Vermont. Several candidates took shots at Bush for his absence. Steve Forbes had the best line about how to get Bush to participate in the next debate. "If you call it a fund-raiser, he might show up," Forbes quipped. Gary Bauer launched the only direct attack on a fellow candidate, when he once again hit Forbes, this time on Forbes's flat-tax proposal, which exempts inheritance and capital gains. Bauer said that his father was a janitor and that this wasn't fair. Forbes responded that people should be "allowed to leave the world unmolested by the IRS." He even got off a good line about "no taxation without respiration" before dissolving into his trademark crooked-grin guffaw. Forbes also took credit for the fact that all of the candidates present (with the exception of Keyes) now support a flat tax. This is indeed amazing. Perhaps the best answer of the evening was John McCain's response to a question about whether the armed forces could be rebuilt without restoring the draft. After explaining that he thought the Army didn't need volunteers, he turned to the issue of his temper, recently displayed in response to a negative New York Times story that he claimed was leaked by the Bush campaign. "People say that perhaps John McCain is angry. My friends, I get angry when we spend $350 million on carriers the Navy doesn't want or need. ... And meanwhile, my dear friends, we have 12,000 enlisted families, brave young men and women, on food stamps. That's a disgrace. That's an outrage. I'm going to fix it as president of the United States." To my ear, the applause meter topped out on that one. Unlike last night's performance, which ended abruptly, tonight's format allowed for 20-second-long conclusions, speed-speeches that recalled the great Monty Python "summarize Proust" contest. This was the most interesting part of the event. Forbes declared that he supported a "New Birth of Freedom," beginning with "the freedom to be born." Bauer decried what he called the "virtue deficit." Keyes said the nation was in "the worst moral crisis it's ever faced." McCain said he wanted to clean up government and inspire young people. Orrin Hatch, concluding the show, said that several Supreme Court justices were getting old and that he wanted to pick their replacements. The Yent-a-Matic Speaks! An occasional feature in which kausfiles.com suggests romantic possibilities between public figures who may or may not know each other. This one is so . . . well, inevitable, it just might work!: Robert Torricelli --single (divorced) Democratic U.S. senator from New Jersey who has been linked to a series of glamorous women (e.g. Bianca Jagger; Patricia Duff Medavoy Perelman) and Arianna Huffington-- glamorous woman writer and social climber who divorced failed California Republican U.S. Senate candidate Michael Huffington. Notes: Arianna --OK, he may be a bit conservative for you in your current bleeding-heart incarnation, but he's got what you want: a seat in the Senate. You've put up with worse! You'll be back in Beltway dinner party/talk-show heaven! Tip: Don't call him "The Torch" to his face. Bob-- True, there's that cult business in her background, but she's handsome, charming, and funny, and she's got what you want: a knack for attracting press! Play up her right-wing connections and you can spin it as a Romeo-Juliet/Carville-Matalin thing. Tip: You'll eventually have to do something about her Greek mama ("Yaya") hanging around all the time, but better be nice to her for now. Beltway Gossip Dump: Washington politicos think the death of Rhode Island Senator John Chafee means that: a) as has been reported, the Republican governor of Rhode Island will appoint Chafee's son, Lincoln--who was already running for the Senate seat from which his father was retiring--to serve the remainder of his father's term; b) as only kausfiles will tell you, Rep. Robert Weygand, a Rhode Island Democrat, will decide to stand for reelection to the House rather than run against Lincoln Chafee for the Senate, since the younger Chafee will be much tougher to beat as an incumbent, even an appointed one; c) with Weygand staying put, the Democrats will have to worry about only four open House seats in November 2000, while the Republican open seat total (counting resignations expected in the next month) will soon go up to about 20; d) but Chafee's Rhode Island Senate seat, which Democrats thought they might capture, is now in the probable-Republican column. Bad news for the Torch! (Senator Torricelli, when he's not dating glamourpusses, is chairman of the Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee); e) unless, that is, Torricelli can prevail on Rhode Island Rep. Patrick Kennedy to run against Lincoln Chafee. Kennedy has the name and fundraising ability to win the Senate seat, but right now Rep. Richard Gephardt needs him to raise money for the Democrats' campaign to retake the House. ... Got all that? ... Charlie Cook, eat your heart out! ... Bonus opinion item: On Sunday, Vice President Al Gore told viewers of ABC's This Week they could "rest assured" that Roe v. Wade would be safe in a Gore-appointed Supreme Court. Of course, Gore said, he "would not use a litmus test." Some questions: How can Gore be so sure his appointees will support Roe unless he uses a litmus test? And what's wrong with litmus tests anyway? Wouldn't support of Brown v. Board of Education be a legitimate litmus test in picking a Supreme Court justice? If Gore feels so strongly about Roe (which I think was wrongly decided) he should by all means make it a litmus test. ... Did Gore Hatch Horton? Conservative commentators have taken to repeating the mantra that Al Gore introduced Willie Horton, the inflammatory racial symbol who enlivened the 1988 presidential race, to political debate in America. On Oct. 24, William Kristol, editor and publisher of the Weekly Standard , said on ABC's This Week : Gore's a mean, tough political fighter. Gore is the one who introduced Willie Horton to American politics in the 1988 primary against Mike Dukakis. Kristol repeated this, almost verbatim, in a "Memo to Bill Bradley" that appeared in the issue of Newsweek that hit newsstands the following day: Big Al can be a tough, mean player. After all, he's the guy who introduced Willie Horton to the American public in his primary campaign against Michael Dukakis. Four days after that, Paul Gigot wrote in his Oct. 29 Wall Street Journal column: Recall that the candidate who first raised the prison furlough (Willie Horton) issue against Mike Dukakis in 1988 wasn't George Bush. It was Al Gore . Horton, you may recall, is a black man who, while doing prison time in Massachusetts for murder, escaped from a weekend furlough and committed a particularly brutal assault and rape. Dukakis hadn't started the state program that allowed prisoners like Horton, who were serving life sentences without parole, to take furloughs--that would have been Dukakis' Republican predecessor as governor of Massachusetts, Francis Sargent. But Dukakis, even after hearing what Horton did on his furlough, was resistant to ending the program, which the state legislature finally did after much crusading by a local newspaper. Horton's story was subsequently offered up by Vice President George Bush's campaign as evidence of Dukakis' softness on crime, and--less directly--of the Democratic party's excessive fondness for black people. (It was an ugly election.) Introducing Willie Horton to American political discourse would not seem to be something to be proud of. Is it true that Gore did so? And if it is true, was Gore's 1988 campaign guilty of injecting cryptic racist messages into the debate? The answers to these questions are, respectively, yes and no. Gore did ask Dukakis, in a debate right before the 1988 New York primary, about "weekend passes for convicted criminals." Here is how Sidney Blumenthal, now a Clinton White House aide but then a reporter for the Washington Post , wrote it up a few months later: An uncomfortable Dukakis, after dispassionately reciting statistics, conceded that the Massachusetts furlough program for murderers sentenced to life imprisonment had been canceled . The issue did not take for Gore, but the exchange attracted the interest of Jim Pinkerton, the research director for the then flailing Bush campaign. "That's the first time I paid attention," said Pinkerton. "I thought to myself, 'This is incredible' ...It totally fell into our lap." In reviewing this history, it's important to make some crucial distinctions. Gore never mentioned that Horton was black; indeed, he never mentioned Horton by name. He merely drew attention, correctly, to the damaging fact that Dukakis had tolerated a furlough program for especially violent criminals in his state even after a horrific incident strongly suggested this was a bad policy. It's conceivable, of course, that Gore was warming up for more explicit and racially tinged use of Horton's story later in the primary fight. But that would have been uncharacteristic of him. In any event, Gore dropped out of the race shortly after the debate. Now recall what the Republicans did with Horton's story: An "independent expenditure" group aired an ad for Bush showing a picture of Horton. A Republican fund-raising letter in Maryland showed pictures of Dukakis and Horton alongside the following text: "Is this your pro-family team for 1988?" Horton told Playboy magazine in 1989 that a woman who identified herself as working for "an organization affiliated with the Bush campaign" phoned him and wrote letters to him up in prison trying to get him to endorse Dukakis. The official Bush campaign, of course, kept its distance from such efforts, and claimed to use Horton only in race-neutral ways. But there is plenty of evidence that it was heartily appreciative of the racial subtext. In his book about the 1988 campaign, Pledging Allegiance , Blumenthal quotes an anonymous member of the Bush campaign team as saying, "Willie Horton has star quality. Willie's going to be politically furloughed to terrorize again. It's a wonderful mix of liberalism and a big black rapist." Although Bush's campaign manager, Lee Atwater, always insisted publicly that for the Bush campaign Horton was never a racial symbol, Atwater slipped in a speech he gave to southern Republicans right before that year's Democratic convention: There is a story about a fellow named Willie Horton who for all I know may end up to be Dukakis' running mate. Dukakis is making Hamlet look like the rock of Gibraltar in the way he's acted on this. [This was a reference to Dukakis' search for a vice-presidential candidate.] The guy was on TV about a month ago and he said you'll never see me standing in the driveway of my house talking to these candidates. And guess what, on Monday, I saw in the driveway of his house? Jesse Jackson. So anyway, maybe he'll put this Willie Horton guy on the ticket after all is said and done. As was noted at the time by Thomas Edsall of the Washington Post and others, Atwater was pretty clearly equating Jesse Jackson with Willie Horton because both happened to be black. Gore never did that. He never did anything close to that. Flying Out of Control Some people rage against government taxes, others resent the old people who are sucking dry our Social Security safety net even as they crankily vote down local school budgets. Not me. I lie awake and worry about the national tragedy that is the airline industry. I hate them all: the lackadaisical baggage handlers who "accidentally" sent our luggage to a remote cargo area at JFK last week, the surly steward(esse)s, the brazen caterers whose spongy chicken in brown goo so shamelessly denigrates the memory of food. But most of all, I obsess over the people whose duty it is to de-ice wings, coax the cargo hold not to explode, and fix any smoking engines before takeoff. So of course you are right; "simple" mechanical failure is scarier than terrorism because it connotes a level of indifference that is no less evil than overt terrorism but far more insidious. And even worse, it epitomizes the attitude of most airline employees toward their customers. The passengers. Those people who are paying hundreds of dollars or more--my ticket to Asia last month topped $1,000--for the privilege of being herded like cattle onto a death trap over which no one seems to have much control. Stop citing those statistics that show air travel is safer than automobiles. The big difference is that auto accidents are survivable. That's because auto accidents are, to some extent, controllable by the travelers. The driver who hears a car engine making a bad whompety noise has a choice: Pull off the highway or gut it out. The airplane passenger who, like me, hears a nasty whirrrrrsh on takeoff and feels the seat shimmy as if powered by Magic Fingers has no such choice. I must sit. And hope that the pilot is better at his job than the baggage handlers are at theirs. Despite the cultural leap that being an airplane passenger requires--as an American, I have, after all, spent nearly four decades constructing an elaborate illusion of how I control my life--I continue to fly. So far the gamble has paid off. I'm alive. You're alive. Our children still have parents, partly because we chose Asia, not Egypt, as a destination. We even have our luggage. This time. Burying the Lead At USA Today the top story is that some safety experts are concerned that a new soon-to-be-mandatory emissions control device could start fires in crashes. At the New York Times the lead is that California's ban on public program racial preferences goes into effect, and it's accompanied by a big picture of a protest march organized by Jesse Jackson proceeding across the Golden Gate Bridge. At the Washington Post it's that many top jobs in the Clinton administration remain unfilled. And the Los Angeles Times leads with developments in Bosnia. A cardinal sin of news reporting is downplaying the real news of a story--this is known as "burying the lead" and once upon a time it was considered an even bigger disaster for a journalist than having a kid not get into Sidwell Friends. But today not one, but two papers do it, and with the same story, no less. The LAT 's lead is that senior U.S. officials including former special envoy for Bosnia, Richard Holbrooke, have supported using NATO troops to defend the president of Bosnia's Serb republic, Biljana Plavsic, if hard-liners tried to overthrow her. Then the piece goes on to say that NATO forces have helped Plavsic consolidate her control over her country's police and broadcast media and that Thursday, while continuing to conduct that campaign, they got into a violent confrontation with Bosnian Serb demonstrators. But the story delays the news that two U.S. soldiers were wounded in the melee until after the "jump"--the continuation of the story on an inside page. But wait!--there is another Bosnia story on the LAT front, near the lead, in column six, just a little lower down. Yet its headline, "US Soldiers Clash with Irate Bosnian Serbs," doesn't mention the U.S. casualties, and the piece itself doesn't get to them until the third paragraph. The WP downplays the casualties as well, running its Bosnia story at the bottom of the front page, omitting mention of them in its headline--"Bosnian Serb's Backers Stone American Troops"--and not getting to them in the piece until the seventh paragraph. (Headline writers, please note: not mentioning the known outcome is like saying "Yankees Played Red Sox Yesterday.") The NYT plays the story lower on its front page, but gets the casualties into the headline: "2 G.I.'s Are Hurt Confronting Pro-Karadzic Bosnian Serbs." The really big story on the USAT front is the revelation that the provision in the new budget bill that allows tobacco companies to reduce their liability in smoking-related lawsuits by $50 billion was written by.the tobacco companies. "The industry wrote it and submitted it, and we just used their language,'' is what Kenneth Kies, staff director of the Joint Committee on Taxation, is quoted as saying. Anthony Lewis' Times column is another in his recent series of pieces excoriating the INS. He tells the story of a German women who falls in love with and marries an American while on a visitor's visa and after getting some bad advice from the INS leaves the country while her application for a permanent visa is still pending. The result? She ends up in prison for eight days and then is deported. So far the couple has burned up $10,000 in legal fees over this, and the husband had to abandon his business here to rejoin his wife. "Is anyone in our Government," wonders Lewis, "ready to call our tin-pot immigration dictators to account? And right next to that piece is an op-ed by Washington-based public ethics maven Charles Lewis. For those inclined to cut Mike Espy some slack because he's only charged with taking $35,000 worth of stuff, Lewis makes the point that the poultry and processing workers Espy was once supposed to be looking out for make, on average, $16,374 a year. Is The New New Thing Copyrighted? Michael Lewis' just published book, The New New Thing , lists a copyright date of 2000. (Click here to read Joe Nocera and Jean Strouse's discussion of the book.) Does this mean it is not legally protected until next year? No. A book's reported copyright date is essentially meaningless. Copyright protection is granted automatically to a work immediately upon its creation (which, in the case of a book, means the moment an author first puts his pen to the paper or fingers to the keyboard). Publication of the work or registration with the U.S. Copyright Office is not required. Until this decade, however, authors had to publicly declare a claim of copyright on published works for it to be legally binding. But in 1989, the use of a copyright notice was made optional; users must now presume that a work is copyrighted even if it does not directly say so. If a work is copyrighted by the author, the protection lasts until 70 years after his or her death. If it is copyrighted by a third party (e.g., a publisher), it is protected for 95 years after publication or 120 years from creation, whichever is shorter. Thus, there is little legal consequence to post-dating a copyright claim. So, why do it? Typically, a book's scheduled release date changes multiple times before publication. Publishers often use the latest of the potential publishing dates in order to ensure that a new new book doesn't look old too soon. Next question? Compassionate Pessimism Dear Lisa-- I think it is silly to think of a backlash against a woman who has, to date, sold no more than 25,000 copies of any of her books. There are a lot of better things to put energy into than chopping down the work of a writer who worked at the trade honorably and industriously for 50-odd years without getting any of the recognition many of us believe she richly deserved. Why don't her supposed detractors go beat up on Disney for a while? My attitude toward any backlash is that those of us who love Powell have her now--some 15 books in print--and those who don't can simply avoid her, the way, say, that I avoid Allen Ginsberg and Walt Whitman. I know people who are deeply moved by both of these writers--and more power to them--but they're simply not for me. Different strokes and all that. The world is full of a number of things ... My own obscure favorites include the first books of Honor Tracy (Irish-born satirist who makes Evelyn Waugh's work taste like the milk of human kindness), the dark early writing of Sigrid Undset (before her religious conversion, which radically changed her style), and the best novels of manners by John Marquand--all of which are largely unknown to contemporary readers (particularly young ones). Who else has created such a splendid "unreliable narrator" as Horatio Willing, the pompous ass who "narrates" Marquand's The Late George Apley ? I enjoy literary biography but don't think that it is essential to enjoyment of the work. Gustav Mahler gave titles to every movement in his 100-minute Symphony No. 3, then took them all out, saying that no work of art was any good unless it could stand on its own. I suppose that is true--although I confess an occasional difficulty with important artists whose personalities repel me. (Rousseau and Brecht will do for starters; for me, they reek of totalitarianism. But would I feel that way if I didn't know their life stories? Probably.) Still, I do think that Powell's personality has had a lot to do with her revival. For those of us who love her, she seems a wise, funny, unpretentious, and compassionate friend, one blessed with a decidedly wicked sense of humor. We like her company. She seems smart and civilized. She never lectures us; she is never a scold or an "uplifter"; she never exalts some mythical Humanity over the day-to-day struggles of ordinary human beings, who are all, of course, making the same mistakes over and over again. As W. Jackson Bate--my choice for the ultimate literary biographer of our time--wrote of Samuel Johnson, Powell's work would allow us to construct a vastly pessimistic vision of the human condition. And yet we leave her with gratitude and cheer, with the sense that somebody has understood us--and, much of the time, had a little fun with us, too. To sum up--Powell may never be for everybody, but she is one of those artists who will always be very much for some people. I don't find her any more dated than Petronius: With either author, you have but to play around with the settings and circumstances a little and you have what Mad magazine used to call "the usual gang of idiots" gloriously presented with a calm, amused, but unsparing eye. May the frolic continue. It's been a pleasure getting to know you (in this distinctly '90s fashion), and I look forward to kicking this whole matter around over a bottle of wine some day. Good luck in all you do--and thanks for what you've already done for Dawn Powell. Warmest, Tim Jane, Stop This Crazy Thing And another thing. It just hit me a few minutes ago when I was in the study repainting the red walls a redder red--a project that I estimate will take me approximately 21 painting hours since there also are 28 bookshelves and the back of each will need three coats since red paint streaks so badly--that the way we flit around from topic to topic here (and at our real breakfast table) is indicative of a bigger problem in how we live our lives. We're so fragmented. My attention, at any given moment, is divided among so many competing thoughts that it makes my teeth ache. An example: This morning after you left for work, I was playing with the baby on the couch and she was wiggling her fingers in the air in a way she considered menacing as she shrieked, "I am the dinosaur. ROARRRRR. The dinosaur is scaring Mommy!" This was perhaps the cutest sight I have ever witnessed in my life. But even as I was saying, "Help, save me from the dinosaur," I was simultaneously thinking: How am I going to wrap up that column today, the kicker I have stinks; should I roast a chicken for dinner or not because it's not worth it unless I go get the good chicken and that's at a butcher store 20 minutes away, and if waste 40 minutes going to a butcher store, how many of those red shelves will I be able to paint today; did I forget to give Zoe that permission slip she needed this morning; is my skin starting to look old; do I hear the dog throwing up a sock in the kitchen; maybe I should just end the piece by referring back to the lead, but then I always do that so ... A certain percentage of these thoughts were perhaps valid. If I considered them in an appropriate time and place. But the baby is only going to be this cute and want to play dinosaur for about 10 seconds before she grows up enough to get mean and criticize my hair like the others. So why am I wasting the millisecond? This used to be called multi-tasking and be considered a skill. Even earlier, it was called juggling. And I used to envy people who kept all the balls in the air. I thought they got more out of life because they did more. But now I don't know. It's been so long since I fully concentrated on one idea or one task or one anything that my attention span has contracted to be about as long as ... well, as long as it takes to paint the backs of three bookshelves. And these, as you know, are not big bookshelves. The Office Shooting du Jour Right, fragmented attention spans. Very important ... I'd like to comment on that, but I'm watching CNN at the moment and can't concentrate. The Seattle police have just put out an APB for the suspect in the office shooting du jour (one dead so far, two critical, one stable). The suspect, a man of course, was wearing a brown hat, according to the police account. And camouflage clothes. Aside from that, he looked pretty average--average height, hair color, skin color (police said he was either a white guy or a light-skinned black guy). Horribly, what he's done is starting to sound pretty average, too: He went into an office building (want to bet it's his?) and opened fire. The television coverage is all too average as well: Lots of Johnny on the spots, excitedly telling what they know "at this point" (not much) and second-guessing themselves by telling TV Land which neighborhood the police are searching, then showing the neighborhood from a helicopter, then deciding that it was a boneheaded move to show where, exactly, the police are hunting (let's not let the shooter know where the cops are!). and zipping over to another Johnny on the spots who doesn't know much. At this point. Ah, is there anything that's at once so exhilarating and banal as breaking news? I know that sounds callous and I apologize--someone is dead, perhaps others will be too soon--but stories like this are far and away the worst thing that we in the media do. Remember when we were both junior reporters at Newsday , doing far too much police news, knocking on the doors of the dead and the near dead? And remember that time when that lady hissed at you? "VULTURE," she hissed. We are vultures ... We feed off dead things and help the overall process of decomposition. Why am I watching this broadcast? Why is it national news? What good does it do? Where's the public need to know here? Won't it just inspire another nut to gun down his officemates? Or schoolmates? Then he can be on CNN, too. Oh, cool: Video footage just came on showing the cops storming a house with one of those SWAT shields. This is getting good. See you at dinner. Gotta go. Waging War The New York Times ' top non-local story is a NYT /CBS News poll showing that the Democrats have a significantly higher approval rating than Republicans on most election issues. The Los Angeles Times ' top non-local story is the Senate's 55-44 passage of a $1 minimum-wage hike--a bill that has not passed the House and would likely be vetoed by President Clinton for the tax breaks it gives to businesses. (The NYT reefers this story.) The Washington Post leads with the revelation that the Army has rated two of its 10 divisions as unready for war, the first time any division has received such a designation in seven years. This "C-4" rating means that the units in question--based in New York and Germany--need more soldiers, equipment, and training to participate in a regional conflict. The Post says this is partly an appeal for more money. The NYT , which credits the Post , runs this story inside. USA Today leads with a Y2K scoop: Nearly 50 percent of local 911 emergency services--such as fire, police, and ambulance corps--are not Y2K compliant. This statistic comes from the final report of President Clinton's Year 2000 Conversion Council, to be released today. The Council also says that 60 percent of health-care facilities and one-third of schools are unprepared; however, the federal government, the telecom industry, the financial sector, transportation services, and the oil and gas industries are over 90 percent ready. The NYT poll finds that the Dems have a greater-than-10-point electoral advantage on health care, education, and Social Security. (The Republicans lead on military readiness, but this issue holds little weight with voters, the poll finds.) Moreover, Congressional Democrats have a 7-percent-higher approval rating than Congressional Republicans; if this holds, the NYT says it would ensure a Democratic House in 2001. George W. Bush holds a significant but shrinking lead--about 10 points--over both Al Gore and Bill Bradley (the difference between the two Democrats in a race with Bush was not statistically significant). Bush led Gore by 15 points in October and 17 points in September. Both Democratic candidates have a greater-than-10-point lead over John McCain, however. The Wall Street Journal reports that 14 Pfizer executives sold 1.2 million shares of the company in the days leading up to Pfizer's hostile takeover bid for Warner-Lambert. Since the bid was announced last Thursday, Pfizer shares have dropped 9 percent. A Journal opinion piece describes why there have been so many pharmaceutical mergers recently. Scientific breakthroughs tend to produce small start-ups firms that pioneer new methods of research and secure valuable patents. Soon, the establishment companies realize they need the new research technology and patents, and the small firms realize they need economies of scale to keep producing successful drugs. Thus the antibiotic revolution produced a spate of mergers in the '40s and '50s, breakthroughs in heart and digestive drugs produced mergers in the '70s, and the genetic revolution is producing mergers in the '90s. Also, the move in Washington to create new prescription coverage for Medicare recipients threatens to lower drug prices, which in turn pushes firms to produce newer drugs with higher margins, which requires more research money and new technology. On the NYT Op-Ed page, Garry Wills argues that the true test of a presidential candidate is not temperament or virtue but the shrewd ability to communicate with a constituency. What disqualifies a leader is the kind of flaw that would turn away followers. By that measure, Mr. McCain's anger is not what a pastor would encourage for the good of a man's soul, but it makes little difference at all in his ability to attract followers. Gore's problem, therefore, is not that he is a "beta" (vice presidents--even Lyndon Johnson--must be) or that he is reserved (so was Lincoln), but that hiring a Dick Morris hanger-on like Naomi Wolf and trying to hide it shows a "stunning lapse in intelligence," a daft inability to perceive what will mobilize and what will alienate the voters. On the Post opinion page, Michael Kelly asks his colleagues in the media, Why does everyone loathe us so? Because, my little preciouses, we are so loathable. ... Reporters like to picture themselves as independent thinkers. In truth, with the exception of 13-year-old girls, there is no social subspecies more slavish to fashion, more terrified of originality and more devoted to group-think. To this, Today's Papers readily, wholeheartedly, and unconditionally agrees. Was It Worth It? Hello, Fred-- I'm in a sudden panic, realizing that this is the last installment and we have a few hundred words to wrap up the argument and resolve the points left hanging around. So I'll do it Larry King style, with varied points connected with ellipses (that's the three dots in a row, Larry ...). * One perspective that's gotten no hearing in this discussion is the "immoral war" view--that the South Vietnamese regime was so corrupt, or the North Vietnamese aims so admirably anti-colonial, that the effort to protect South Vietnam was wrong per se. That's because neither of us, nor Lind, is in this camp. But we've suggested that the scope of argument is narrower than I suspect it still remains in the United States ... * What you, Lind, and I disagree about, in various forms, all has to do with means and proportion. We agree that it would be better if South Vietnam had not been taken over by the North--and that it was better that Thailand, Malaysia, and others beat their insurgencies. The question is whether the fight was worth it at several crucial junctures: when the United States got more seriously involved in 1963-64; when it dramatically escalated in 1967-68; and when it began a prolonged withdrawal, from 1969 through the fall of Saigon in 1975 ... * Lind argues that the initial engagement was necessary , for the "bandwagon" reasons of the Cold War we have discussed previously. I view it as understandable --for those same reasons--but ultimately unwise and destructive, for reasons that have been played out in U.S. politics ever since. And, much as I hate using this word, Nixon's prolongation of the withdrawal seems to me, well, criminal. (OK, '60s-style hyperbole, but you know what I mean. Maybe "criminally unwise.") Tens of thousands of Americans, and hundreds of thousands of Vietnamese, died during the extended separation. Even assuming there was some offsetting increase in U.S. credibility in those years, it could not have been worthwhile ... * You ask about the Korean option--long-term partition, enforced by U.S. troops. That might have been conceivable in 1963 or 1964, when the balance between aims and costs was still more reasonable from the U.S. perspective. By 1970 everything about that balance had shifted. For reasons Lind lays out very clearly, domestic politics had powerfully and predictably turned against such a costly war ... * You raise several times the claim that the South Vietnamese were in some sense "winning" by 1970. Even assuming for purposes of argument that this is true (which I dispute, but that's for another day), by that time it was becoming irrelevant. The cost had exceeded a level that any student of U.S. politics thought this country would endure for such a symbolic struggle ... * Yes, it's odd that we should be struggling for the mantle of Ronald Reagan. But the balance of costs and goals is something he clearly understood. The United States (as Lind also points out) is willing to pay financial costs, like those of the Reagan defense spend-up. But we properly dislike sending people to die for symbolic struggles when it's not really necessary--and that's why My Ronnie got those Marines out of Lebanon. I am sure someone made the case that this had become a symbolic stand, and he couldn't afford to look as if he was running. That didn't stop him ... * My starting point was that, agree or disagree, people should read Michael Lind's book. I end on that point too. But of course it's not the only one to read. Peter Scott's recent Lost Crusade , the memoir of a U.S. soldier who trained Cambodian mercenaries, is the most affecting book of any sort I've read in a long time. It was, by the way, recommended to me by the novelist Charles McCarry, whose book The Tears of Autumn stands with Graham Greene's The Quiet American in conveying the climate of America's first involvement in Southeast Asia ... * I've also just been reading Fredrik Logevall's Choosing War , a new academic history that argues more or less the exact opposite of Lind's case. From late 1963 to early 1965, Logevall claims, the Johnson administration faced a deliberate choice about whether it should raise or lower the stakes in Vietnam: Make it an all-out test of will, which it became, or look for an excuse to leave--perhaps with the claim that the regime in the South had become too ill-behaved to be worth further U.S. support or lives. Logevall's evidence is beyond my ability to introduce here. I'll simply say that if Lind proves that the decision to go to war was understandable, Logevall provides the argument for the "minimal realist" view that it was unnecessary and unwise. And as he says in the final pages of his book: The certainty that this was an unnecessary war, not merely in hindsight but in the context of that time, also makes the astronomical costs that resulted from it during 1965-1973 that much more difficult to contemplate. ... L.A. Times, Part III: Mark Willes Speaks Times-Mirror chief Mark "cereal killer" Willes this week wrote a lengthy memo to his staff essentially pleading for a cease-fire in the ongoing war between the Los Angeles Times ' editorial and business staffs. (To get up to speed on the controversy, click here and here to read Chatterbox's previous items about it.) The key passage in Willes' memo is headed "Complexities." Here it is: It is important to realize that as we go forward, there are no easy solutions to complex problems. Inferences from recent events must be drawn carefully so that decisions can be made that meet all critical and important requirements. For example, the Staples Center mistake has been ascribed to the fact that the Publisher and Times Mirror CEO both lack extensive years of newspaper experience. Yet the Boston Globe had the courage to report that it had an equally awkward arrangement with the Fleet Center when it opened in 1995. The publisher of that paper had newspaper experience. In fact his family had run the paper for over 100 years. The Globe is owned by the New York Times Company. Chatterbox translation : This is where running a family-owned newspaper along classy principles gets you: Somebody comes along and buys you out. ( L'affaire Fleet Center occurred after the Taylor family sold the Globe to the New York Times .) Bad decisions can and are made by people with all kinds of backgrounds in the best kinds of organizations. The key is to have people make the best decisions they can. And when they make a bad call, to quickly acknowledge it, learn from it, and move forward. Chatterbox translation : A "bad call" is one that people find out about. So from now on, keep your yaps shut! Other newspaper organizations have business ties that raise important journalistic questions with which they successfully grapple every day. For example, the Chicago Tribune , the Dallas Morning News and the Arizona Republic must cover sports teams in which their companies have direct ownership positions. I mention these two examples simply to indicate that as we go forward we must meet our simultaneous responsibilities to our readers, customers, advertisers and communities. This requires sensitivity to all of the relevant issues in a brutally competitive and complex world. We are not alone in dealing with these issues. Chatterbox translates : A word to the wise for other news organizations: Flay us for the Staples Center deal and we'll flay you right back. Maybe Shaw should write a six-part series! [Correction 11/12: An earlier version of this item ended on the triumphalist note that the L.A. Times should do penance by giving up tobacco advertising, as the Boston Globe just announced it will do. The L.A Times staff writer Michael Hiltzik, who finds most coverage of the L.A Times fiasco "ludicrously uninformed," informs Chatterbox that the L.A. Times banned tobacco ads as of Oct. 1. Whoops.] Mourning in America The lead story all around--and then some--is Diana's funeral. Earlier in the week it was often claimed that Di's death was getting so much ink because of her charitable works. But this was refuted by today's coverage, in which Di claimed whole front pages, but Mother Teresa was relegated to the inside. The papers generally agree on what was most noteworthy about the day's events in London: that the outpouring of English public emotion hadn't been matched since the end of World War II, that, with its engaged participation in the ceremonies, the royal family seemed to bounce back into public favor, and that Diana's brother's remarks were probably among the most frank ever made inside Westminster Abbey. The New York Times describes his eulogy, with its description of Diana as "the most hunted woman on earth," as "passionate," and the Washington Post says it was "barbed and biting." The Los Angeles Times refers to the man as "Diana's angry brother." Some of the reporting on the service is quite a nice throwback to the days when people everywhere depended on newspapers to know what such events were like. However, this one was seen by perhaps half the people on the planet, so it's hard to justify the lengthy descriptive articles that are so prominent today. And it's definitely hard for a paper to justify two of these wordfests. But that's what the NYT gives us. Not only do we get Warren Hoge's "Diana Buried as a Nation Mourns," but also R.W. Apple's "Through London's Streets, the Sounds of Silence Toll." The overkill is particularly obvious when both pieces etch the same details. Hoge: "When [Diana's brother, Earl Spencer] ended his talk minutes later...there was spontaneous applause in the church and on the expansive meadow of Hyde Park jammed with thousands of people who were watching the service on giant television screens." Apple: "Spencer's castigation of the news media as collaborators in his sister's death, relayed by loudspeaker to those outside the Abbey, brought applause." Hoge: A wreath on the casket had a "white card stuck in it with the word 'Mummy' written on it." Apple: "People threw blossoms at the princess' casket as it rolled by on a gun carriage, draped in a royal standard with sprays of white roses, tulips and lillies atop it, one of them bearing the single word, 'Mummy.'" The WP points out that guests at the funeral included, besides such obvious attendees as former British Prime Ministers Margaret Thatcher and John Major, the likes of Tom Hanks, Tom Cruise, Nicole Kidman, and Steven Spielberg. But the Post doesn't bother to explain whether these glitterati were there because they were friends of Diana's or were simply exercising the modern celebrity's nearly universally-recognized right to get any hard ticket. An early-bird edition of the LAT gives a revealing insight into the priorities of Dodi Al-Fayed's family. In reporting that the Ritz Hotel released security video tape that show Diana and her party leaving the hotel in an apparently orderly manner, the paper quotes an Al-Fayed spokesman's explanation for doing so: "The Ritz Hotel has been accused of what amounts to negligence or worse." Today's contest: What could the NYT 's Alessandra Stanley possibly mean in this exit line to her "Week in Review" appreciation of Diana? "At 36, she died a horrible death, and one that seemed portentously linked to her extraordinary life." Revenge of the Elderly Black Grandmother-Tang Clan Dear Merrill, Greetings and salutations once again from Madison, Wis., America's (after Austin, Tex.) Second City of Slack. As difficult as this may be for you to believe, I'm actually finding myself jealous of your Bo, Winkie, et al., and wishing I had my own four-dog-strong 6:15 wake-up squad of bounding, tail-wagging quadrupeds to help me out here. A creeping fear worries me that, being a person who normally thinks of breakfast as something you get at a 24-hour waffle place after the bars close, perhaps I'm just not cut out for the whole pithy-morning-punditry-duties thing. Now I feel like I know firsthand just how awful it must be for a person to greet each new dawn with the heart-wrenching realization that they are neoconservative MSNBC talk-show host Laura Ingraham. The Dalai Llama must be feeling particularly serene this morning with the news that, after a marathon negotiation session of 11 th -hour meetings, the way is finally paved for China to enter the World Trade Organization. Everybody seems really happy about this, since it came through at the last minute despite longtime stumbling blocks in the way of such an agreement. Perhaps China threatened to electrocute their testicles and beat their families black and blue if they couldn't push the agreement through? Let's hear it for effective diplomacy. You mentioned yesterday about being filled with repellent hatred and loathing? Yesterday the Journal and today again the Times had front-page pieces on how utterly stupid and pathetic and evil and beneath the dignity of any halfway civilized human being (OK, so they didn't necessarily use those exact words) the whole "managed" health-care system is. To me, this is like running a front-page article on how "Everybody's Breathing Air This Fall TV Season," or the headline "Night Still Following Day for Record Umpteenth Gazillion Straight Week." I realize this is hardly an insightful observation on my part; after all, the same point has been made by any number of commentators before me, including my mother, the guy who works at the liquor store down the street, and virtually every human being who lives in an even remotely first-world country, but nonetheless whenever I think about this I just want to hit an HMO administrator on the head with a rock until it dies. Then there's the added insult to untreated ER waiting-room injury of having to watch these Satanic sentimental TV spots for various HMOs, featuring grainy handheld pseudo-documentary sepia-tone footage of some hypothetical multi-ethnic customer base (elderly black grandmothers on rocking chairs with blankets draped over their knees and beaming Asian-American 6-year-olds on swing sets always seem to make an appearance) while muted piano music plays and some studio-musician faux-gospel vocalist breathily intones the company slogan/musical sound bite, informing us all "(Insert Name of HMO here) ... We care about yooouuu ..." I mean, why not just come right out and sing, "We're lying ... and we're not even trying to hide that fact from yooouuu ..." and be done with it? Who are they fooling, do they think? It's like the spots were produced by some Orwellian Ministry of Information. I wish that Old Dirty Bastard and the rest of the Wu-Tang Clan had celebrated his birthday by mobilizing the relatives of all those elderly black grandmothers to start snapping some HMO ad-exec necks. Um, I'm becoming consumed by bile here, so I think I'd better go hose myself down or something. Oh, and regarding your last letter's comment about Gore pinning Bradley to the floor and lying on top of him, its a good idea, but somehow I don't think it'd work, because that's obviously what Tipper's been doing to Al herself since their first teen-age (but presumably non-rock 'n' roll concert) date. From hell, Todd Batouti Bashing The New York Times leads with an agreement between the White House and Congress on a .38-percent across-the-board spending cut, a story fronted by the Washington Post and reefered by the Los Angeles Times and USA Today . The Wall Street Journal tops its "Worldwide" box with the arrests of hundreds of alleged debtors in Pakistan by the new military junta, a story fronted by no other paper. The Post and USAT lead with the EgyptAir 990 investigation, a story fronted by the NYT and LAT . The LAT leads with a decision by the United States, Turkey, Azerbaijan, and Georgia to build a pipeline from the landlocked Caspian Basin states to a port in Turkey. Russia had been lobbying to have the pipeline cross Chechnya, and the West's demurral may cause friction at a meeting today between President Clinton and Boris Yeltsin. The LAT story says the pipeline will "tap rich oil fields in Central Asia," but a Journal article on the deal says that no oil has yet been found; the pipeline is more about political alliances than oil. The Journal reports that the National Transportation Safety Board will give Egyptian officials several days to convince it that the FBI should not take over the EgyptAir 990 investigation. Although not much new evidence surrounding the crash has come to light since yesterday, USAT , the NYT , the LAT , and the Post run dispatches from Cairo quoting relatives of the plane's suspected saboteur, co-pilot Gamil al-Batouti ( NYT spelling). (All five papers continue to spell the name differently; see yesterday's "TP.") The Islamic al-Batouti was faithful enough not to condone suicide, the relatives argue, but not zealous enough to believe in extreme political causes. And while he had never been promoted to captain, as he had wanted, he was still quite wealthy--so much so that he held no life insurance. The NYT chronicles Al Gore's journalism career. After brief stints as a copy boy for the NYT in college and as an Army reporter in Vietnam, Gore took a job at the the Tennessean --which was then a popular stop-off for the idealistic sons of political figures (the sons of Robert Kennedy, Arthur Schlesinger Jr., and John Sirica had worked there). But Gore surprised the paper's staff of working-class scribblers by staying there for five years. His biggest story involved teaming up with the local D.A. to lure a councilman into taking a $300 bribe. The councilman was defeated at the polls as a result, but he was acquitted in court. The acquittal disillusioned the future vice president with the power of the pen, and he decided to change careers. He entered law school and shortly thereafter ran for Congress when a seat opened up. Today the councilman--who has since been re-elected--has a Gore 2000 sign in his window. "His qualifications [for the presidency] outweigh anything that happened between us," he says. The LAT highlights some unlikely beneficiaries of the Internet: the homeless. In Los Angeles, about a half-dozen homeless shelters have computer labs, which help residents learn everything from remedial math to job-searching techniques. Free e-mail access has allowed the homeless to receive messages and interact with potential employers in ways they could not before. But since computer time in shelters in highly structured, most of the truly dedicated homeless techies--the entrepreneurs--use the public library, where time is virtually unlimited (and where, in large cities, up to 75 percent of users are homeless). The homeless, it turns out, make money on the Web in much the same way they do on the street--by finding value in things discarded by others. One homeless man set up a site to sell bicycle parts that he bought cheap from a shop that went out of business. Another made a few thousand dollars by selling obscure videos; he simply found the videos elsewhere on the Web and sold them at a markup. One man began by charging others $5 to teach them how to acquire free e-mail accounts. Now he runs a Drudge-like tech industry gossip site, which has a mailing list of 2,700. On the Web, "it doesn't show if you haven't showered for three days," says a former homeless woman who now runs a Seattle writing workshop. USAT reports that Britain's busiest freeway, the M6, was terrorized by a carload of five Austin Powers look-alikes wielding toy guns. The velvet-clad pranksters were caught by a roadblock and given a warning by police. Split Screens and Texas Screeds The Los Angeles Times , the Washington Post , and the New York Times all lead with Congress' approval of the fiercely contended spending bill. The 74-24 vote in favor was the last piece of the $1.7 trillion federal budget for 2000, and it allowed senators to adjourn for the year. All three papers report that although both parties had to make significant compromises to pass the bill, both Democrats and Republicans are touting their local victories within the bill: President Clinton's plan to hire more teachers will receive its requisite funding, and the Republicans are assured of more money for medical research. The LAT highlights the Republican claim that passage of the bill could mean that the Social Security trust fund will remain untouched for the first time in 30 years, an assertion that the NYT treats with deep skepticism. In addressing the individual parts of the spending package, the NYT points out that the budget still exceeds the set spending limits for this year by $30 million. Whereas the LAT and the NYT address the provisions of the bill in terms of the dollar amount assigned to them, the WP tends to foreground the legislators who backed or opposed particular provisions. The WP account also includes more of the behind-the-scenes wheeling and dealing that took place in the final hours. The second paragraph of the WP piece examines a regionally motivated disagreement over dairy subsidies that very nearly incited a last-minute, all-night filibuster. The LAT and the NYT both include the threatened filibuster, but less prominently. A sense of grateful relief that the filibuster never materialized and that the budget was finally sent to the president pervades all three papers--they seem to be as glad to be done writing about it as the senators are to be done haggling over it. The NYT reports that after the agreement was reached, members of both parties emptied silently out of the chamber. The WP off-leads and the NYT fronts federal judge Thomas Penfield Jackson's appointment of Judge Richard Posner to act as non-binding mediator in the Justice Department's suit against Microsoft. Both sides welcomed the appointment. The NYT centers its coverage on the present status of the suit and whether a mediator can help bring about a settlement. The WP goes with a close scrutiny of Posner's record as a conservative jurist skeptical of government-regulated business. A WP companion piece, though, warns that it's impossible to pigeonhole Posner's views and proclivities, and that neither side in the case should feel as though it's been appointed an ally. The NYT off-leads the European security summit in Turkey, where new limits on conventional armaments, and simplifications of the procedures for their inspection, were adopted. The Russian war against Chechnya stood in stark contrast to the goals of the security talks, but Russia said that despite the mass of criticism it was receiving in Turkey, its conduct toward Chechnya would remain unchanged. The LAT goes with a local off-lead that could eventually have national significance: a federal appeals court ruled in San Francisco that state and local governments cannot ban outdoor tobacco advertising. But such bans have been upheld in other regions of the country. The matter will likely go to the Supreme Court. The WP fronts the protests that met President Clinton upon his arrival in Athens. Many Greeks expressed their lasting outrage at the U.S.-led bombing of Yugoslavia. The story is slugged, "Thousands Protest Visit, U.S. Policy; President Shielded from Violence," and the article develops more fully that juxtaposition between the fury in the streets and the tranquility in which the president was able to conduct his visit. In its live coverage of the day's events, Greek television split the screen between Clinton's speech at the airport and images of marauding protesters hurling rocks and firebombs. Mimicking that split-screen strategy, the WP places the article, in which Clinton is quoted to say that "If people want to protest, they ought to have a chance to do it," under a three-column photo of riot police confronting angry demonstrators in front of stores they had set on fire. Reefering the story, the LAT also contrasts the violence of the protests with the placidity Clinton enjoyed while in the country. And the LAT also offers more specific details of the protests: 10,000 demonstrators assembled; 15 injured and 20 detained by police. All three papers front Gov. Bush's speech in which he outlined his foreign policy agenda: in short, a new American internationalism. He would treat China as a competitor, not a partner; and he wouldn't allow Russian brutality in Chechnya to go unpunished. All three papers assert that Bush made the get-tough speech to answer critics of his foreign policy abilities, but each paper draws different conclusions about the speech's effectiveness. The WP heads its story with "Bush Urges Engagement; Opposes Test Ban Treaty," suggesting a certain reckless bluster. The NYT hints that it was merely a well-rehearsed set-piece that will crumble when Bush debuts it live at the upcoming debates with his Republican opponents. The LAT stands alone in reporting that the speech received endorsements from some prominent Republicans, such as Sen. Richard Lugar. EgyptAir Flight 990 receives less and less front page space every day. It doesn't make the front of the NYT , and the WP relegates it to a reefer on the safety board chairman's statement that media leaks have "clouded" investigations into the disaster Suckers for a Story USA Today leads with the angry reaction from many in business to the government's just-proposed guidelines for fighting workplace repetitive stress injuries. The Los Angeles Times lead covers essentially the same ground, while also explaining the difference between the new rules and current California law. Both stories report that the rules, which mandate various corrective actions at the first sign of injury, will cost companies an aggregate $4.2 billion per year. The Washington Post leads with the imminent release of the largest Pentagon study ever of racial attitudes within the uniformed military. The results are somewhat bracing for an institution that portrays itself as remarkably colorblind: some three-quarters of minority service members responding say they've experienced racism, and more than half doubted that discrimination complaints are thoroughly investigated. And the survey shows that military whites have a drastically more positive view. The paper quotes one defense official as saying the study was actually concluded two years ago, but release was delayed while the brass debated how to portray the results. The New York Times fronts the survey--adding that a second DOD report shows that black personnel get promoted at a much lower rate than whites--but leads instead with the news that the City University of New York has approved a plan that would bar remedial students. Both the USAT and LAT leads include criticisms from a vice president of the U.S. Chamber of Commerce, who apparently was once told to give every reporter something unique. He tells the former that trying to implement the new workplace safety regs will be like getting your arms around a "marshmallow," and he tells the latter it will be like getting your arms around a bowl of "Jell-O." But the coverage itself suggests the squishiness of the subject matter. The number of relevant workplace injuries mentioned (by the NYT ) in yesterday's coverage was 600,000, but today's USAT and Wall Street Journal (in an inside story) up the ante to 1.8 million. The LAT lead's headline--"OSHA Scales Back Its New Workplace Safety Plan"--and its first paragraph suggest that the government has quickly caved in to the protesting business world, whereas the story itself explains that the rules were softened last February, not yesterday. A front-page WP story and one flagged in the WSJ front-page business news box report that the judge in the Microsoft trial was motivated to bring in an outside mediator by his worries about a rift over possible remedies developing between DOJ lawyers and those representing 19 states. The rift--with the state lawyers favoring more aggressive actions against Microsoft, such as carving the company up or forcing it to share its operating system code--has been previously reported on in the NYT . The NYT fronts and the WP carries inside Bill Bradley's speech Monday in which he charged that Al Gore had little interest in campaign-finance reform because the current money-raising system favors incumbents. The Times calls the speech one of Bradley's strongest efforts yet to portray himself as an outsider and reformer, but also notes that with it, Bradley risks offending many Democrats in that he is mirroring Republican criticisms raised against the Clinton White House fund-raising apparatus a few years back. An inside NYT story by veteran reporter Francis X. Clines tells of a new growth industry--companies specializing in cleaning up the messes left by homicides and suicides. More than 200 such outfits have started up in recent years, creating concern that the government should establish public health standards for the field, like it has already for funeral parlors. Quick Quiz: Today's WSJ front page features a 1,140-word article about Bill Bradley's a) criticism of Al Gore's campaign-finance stance; b) health-care plan; c) Web site as a voter outreach tool; or d) lozenges. The answer is d). This kind of drivel is the direct result of a presidential campaign that started about a year too early. Candidates aren't saying much of substance yet but are still out there working the rooms and the press feels they still have to cover them. A reader query prompts Today's Papers to wonder about last Sunday's obituaries for longtime Italian politician Amintore Fanfani. Turns out that there's a virtually identical 54-word passage appearing in both the NYT obit, running over the byline of Alessandra Stanley, and in the WP obit, credited to "News Services." Who took from whom? And does this smidgeon of theft still count as full-blown plagiarism? Mine Kampf The top national story at the Washington Post is the crash of a stealth fighter at an airshow (the first Redskins game at the new stadium dominates the front page), and that accident and two others involving military aircraft are the lead at USA Today . At the New York Times the lead is the U.S.'s possible shift to endorsing a land mine ban, while at the Los Angeles Times , it's a new study about the impact of immigration on the California economy and what to do about it--on a front page dominated by a backstage picture and the accompanying headline "'3rd Rock,' 'Seinfeld' Stars Win Emmys." The immigration study, prepared by the Rand Corp. warns that the increasingly skill-based California economy cannot continue to absorb large flows of poorly educated immigrants and calls on Congress to: reduce new legal immigrant admissions to "a moderate range," allow the rate of immigration to fluctuate with general economic conditions, and add education levels and English proficiency as admission criteria. One immigrant advocate is quoted in the paper denouncing the study as "think tank poppycock." The NYT land mine story reveals a major policy change: the Clinton administration told allies over the weekend that it could sign a land mine ban provided the U.S. was allowed nine more years before removing them from the Korean peninsula. Administration sources admitted that the death of Princess Diana, who had embraced the ban, raised the pressure on the U.S. to make a move. Some hurdles remain however, says the Times : the U.S. would like at least a limited exemption for anti-personnel mines used in conjunction with anti-tank mines, and also wants an escape clause allowing exemptions for countries who are the victims of aggression. The Wall Street Journal reports that Seagram has escalated its campaign to advertise hard liquor on television by preparing ads including a caveat about responsible drinking. But the Journal reports that three of the four major networks said that this latest move will have no impact on their existing policies prohibiting liquor ads. (ABC didn't return the reporter's call.) USAT has a big photo-essay inside called "Battle of the Sexes Invades Boot Camp," in which the paper takes a comparative look at two South Carolina basic training installations--an Army base where recruits of both sexes train together and a Marine one where they are sexually segregated. The reporter even found a female Marine who had previously gone through the basic training at the Army base--she prefers the Marine way of handling the sexes in training. The piece says that "the future of gender-integrated training in the military is on the ropes." Following a revelation first made in yesterday's Washington Times , both USAT and the WP run pieces about Paula Jones' tax audit. The two headlines chosen emphasize opposite sides of the dispute. The Post 's reads: "IRS Audit of Paula Jones Is `Harassment,' Adviser Says" and USAT 's is: "Clinton Lawyer: No Link To IRS Audit Of Jones." The top of the NYT front features a sprawling piece about how private investigators are using online resources to dig ever deeper into private information. The piece explains that certain Web sites specialize in selling such personal data as unlisted telephone numbers, bank account numbers, beeper numbers, and even annual salary and investment portfolio information, but in effect serves as wonderful free advertising for them by mentioning their names and quoting their rates for these particular services. There's an odd lacuna in the piece, where it describes the formidable staffing of "one of the best-connected Washington investigative agencies," Investigative Group International. It identifies the company's chairman by name and says also that Ray Kelly, the former NYC chief of police, used to run the firm's New York operations, but does not elaborate on the following fascinating tidbit: "The promotion brochure features veteran investigative reporters who now work for IGI." Weld: Done The FDA recall of apparently dangerous diet drugs leads at USA Today , the Washington Post , and the Los Angeles Times , and is the top item in the Wall Street Journal front-page "Business and Finance" news digest. William Weld's decision to abandon his quest for the ambassadorship to Mexico leads at the New York Times , and is the number two story at USAT and the WP . (The LAT plays it on the front too, but below the fold.) At the FDA's request, Wyeth-Ayerst Laboratories withdrew fenfluramine, half of the wildly popular "fen-phen," and also dexfenfluramine, which is marketed as "Redux." The request came because of new findings from doctors that indicated use of the substances was correlated with serious abnormalities in heart valves, a suspicion first revealed to the FDA and in the press last July. USAT says that 92 of the 291 patients in the group evaluated exhibited the valve problems. The agency also recommended that dieters stop using any of the drugs they have and contact their doctors. The paper reports that the drugs were prescribed more than 20 million times last year. The WP makes the extent of the drugs' use a little clearer, stating that about 300,000 people are taking each one. The Post quotes an obesity expert expressing the worry that these developments will hinder the general development and marketing of weight control drugs. USAT makes the same point, but by quoting fat people expressing it. The papers' consensus on the Weld pull-out is that he never had much of a chance, that President Clinton's support for him once the Jesse Helms problem presented itself was lukewarm at best, and that the source of Helms's enmity was never completely clear. The NYT views the whole quixotic episode as indicative of Weld's ulterior pursuit of some other greater political goal--either a senate or presidential bid down the road--a claim the paper makes both in its news story and in an editorial. The paper quotes Dick Morris as saying that he thought Weld had successfully used the attempt to become the leader of moderate Republicans. The Post floats the view that the dispute was on balance a plus for Clinton, saying that several White House advisors were delighted at the fissures inside Republican ranks it opened up. The WP has a front-page piece about an emerging national trend--close-in parking spaces at retail locations for expectant and new mothers, known as "stork parking." And it's not just a voluntary trend. The Post reports that Dade County, Florida, passed an ordinance last year--the first of its kind in the country--requiring businesses with more than 100 parking spaces to provide at least two spots for "stroller parking." There's also an emerging national backlash. The paper notes that some reject the suggestion that pregnancy is a disability, while others wonder why parents with children should receive a special benefit the elderly do not. "How about special parking zones for golfers who need to lug heavy golf bags to the clubhouse?" is one irate response to the Dade measure the paper quotes. The WP also comments that doctors don't think pregnant women need special access, and in fact, some doctors advise them to park far away from stores, for the extra exercise. The WSJ 's "Work Week" reports that flag and touch football have become very big at many companies. Maybe a little too big. One company wrote an entire playbook and spent $2,000 on a practice field, and the NEC Corp. pulled its team out of the Tokyo league, citing too many injuries. Toy Story vs. the Internet Did one of the creators of Toy Story 2 have a bad experience on eBay? The new Disney film articulates a provocative and long-overdue critique of what is possibly the worst thing about the Internet: Its tendency to turn everything in meatspace--first editions, Beanie Babies, unopened cans of New Coke--into a "collectible." In the movie, Sheriff Woody, the cowboy action figure (voice supplied by Tom Hanks), turns out to be a valuable relic of the late 1950s; he is stolen by an unsavory collector/toy-store owner named Al (Wayne Knight) and sold to a museum in Japan. The other toys from Andy's room--Buzz Lightyear (Tim Allen), Mr. Potato Head (Don Rickles), et al.--arrive to rescue Woody before he's shipped overseas. But Woody is by then uncertain whether he prefers a necessarily short shelf life as a child's toy to immortality as a museum piece. The dilemma is fairly complex. Being Andy's toy = being an Uncle Tom. You devote yourself to the Man (well, the Child) and for your troubles end up being outgrown and cast aside. Existentially, though, it's more satisfying than being an artifact. Being a museum piece = reveling in group identity. That's because Woody would be joined in Japan by various Woody accessories of which he was previously unaware--a horse named Bullseye, a female sidekick named Jessie (Joan Cusack), a prospector named Stinky Pete (Kelsey Grammar) who's never even been out of the box. But are toys really meant to be gazed at behind glass? In the end, the filmmakers fudge on the ethnic-identity question (Woody chooses to be Andy's toy and gets the Woody accessories to come with him), but reject unequivocally the creepy culture of collectibles. I don't recall seeing any computers in Toy Story 2 , and of course the movie was made with computers. Furthermore, Steve Jobs, the chairman of Pixar, the animation studio that made both Toy Story movies, is quite obviously very fond of computers. Still, what force in our culture is driving the growing obsession with collectibles? What technology is globalizing the collectibles market--is making it possible for, say, a museum in Japan to obtain cast-off vintage toys from the United States? The Web! (Pedants will observe that in the movie, the evil toy thief Al actually conducts his communications with the foreign buyers via cell phone and fax machine, but that's just because the filmmakers don't want to be too overt in challenging the mightiest phenomenon in capitalism today.) In a sprightly New York Times essay last year about collecting, Michael Kimmelman noted that in Germany during the 16 th century there proliferated Kunst- und Wunderkammern , "art and wonder cabinets" containing curiosities of all kinds: Wonderment came to be perceived as a kind of middle state between ignorance and knowledge, and wonder cabinets were theaters of the marvelous, museums of accumulated curiosities, proving God's ingenuity. They contained whatever was the biggest, the smallest, the rarest, the most exquisite, the most bizarre, the most grotesque. Art, astrolabes, armor--man-made wonders--were cheek by jowl with monkeys' teeth and pathological anomalies like human horns. A German doctor named Lorenz Hoffman had a typical Kunst- und Wunderkammer : he owned paintings by Durer and Cranach, a skeleton of a newborn, two dozen miniature spoons hidden within a cherry pit, an armband made of elks' hoofs, mummies and various rare musical instruments. Broadly speaking, the Internet is itself a kind of Kunst- und Wunderkammern , but it is also very efficient at helping people fill whatever non-virtual wonder cabinets they have lying around the house. This is in many ways a blessing. Chatterbox is delighted that used-book sites like Bibliofind and Alibris and Advanced Book Exchange and Powell's Books make it possible to retrieve almost any out-of-print book one might want--usually for less than one would pay to buy it in paperback. But Chatterbox is always surprised to see the wares presented in such artifact-y fashion. On searching Bibliofind for Pappy Chatterbox's first novel, All the Right Answers , for instance, Chatterbox learns that Book Mail, a used bookstore in Costa Mesa, Calif., is ready to sell it to for $9, provided the buyer doesn't take offense that it has "writing on front fly." Why would Chatterbox care about a little writing on the front flyleaf? Pappy Chatterbox's second novel, The Man Who Stole the Mona Lisa , can be had for $35 from Poe's Cousin in White Plains, N.Y. It's priced that high because it's a first edition and wrapped in plastic. But Jeez, Chatterbox can get a fresh hardcover (it's still in print) for a mere $22.95. The point, after all, is to read the thing, not hang it on the wall. Indeed, first editions in pristine condition ought to be less valuable than most books, because it's almost impossible to use them for their intended purpose--i.e., read them. Who wants to crack the binding of a museum piece? Sheriff Woody would understand. The Internet doesn't. Malpractice Makes Perfect USA Today , the Washington Post , and New York Times all lead with a prestigious independent medical organization's call for a new federal agency dedicated to minimizing medical mistakes, which, says the organization, are now killing between 44,000 and 98,000 people a year. The Los Angeles Times reefers this to a Page 3 story, leading instead with the naming in Northern Ireland Monday of a Protestant-Catholic power-sharing Cabinet, which could mean the true end of "The Troubles" in that country. The papers explain the basic point of the medical error recommendations: most slip-ups occur not from individual ineptness but from structural flaws in the ways hospitals and caregivers function. An example both the NYT and the WP cite is prescribing the wrong drug because its name is very similar to the right one. Systematically noting and disseminating such possible confusions to physicians would reduce risk. All three leads make the point that medicine could benefit from following the tracking and notification procedures of other risky fields like aviation and nuclear power. The NYT notes that establishing such a system is thought to cost only slightly more than 1 percent of the $8.8 billion in health-care costs attributable to preventable medical injuries. The biggest unclarity in the medical error coverage has to do with who would get to see the results of the proposed systematic error tracking. Just doctors, or potential patients too? USAT refers to reporting "without fear of punishment," which suggests a pretty tight lid. Both the NYT and WP suggest that the system envisioned would allow serious medical errors to be made known to the public but keep less serious ones confidential. But there's no discussion of whether this makes sense from the patient's point of view. A related point: There's already a data bank for sharing information about incompetent doctors. Surely it would be relevant to know if it functions similarly to what's being proposed now and to know if it has indeed helped make medicine safer. The other significant wiggle room in the stories relates to the dimension of the medical error problem. USAT says it's the eighth-largest killer in the U.S. The WP suggests it's the fifth. How do the two papers get different results off the very same press release? Well, USAT goes with the low end estimate of error-based fatalities and the Post goes with the high end. The NYT and LAT go high on their fronts with reports that Mexican and U.S. authorities have begun excavating sites in Mexico very near the Texas border believed to be a dumping ground for scores of Mexicans and Americans killed by drug traffickers within the past few years. The LAT says officials are expecting to find between 100 and 300 corpses. Both papers say that members of Mexican law enforcement are suspects in some of these murders. USAT blurbs the story inside. The USAT off-lead and the top story in the Wall Street Journal business news index is that later this week, on the heels of a spate of problems with Boeing airliners, the FAA will start a thorough safety inspection of the company's manufacturing plants, focusing on quality control procedures. The Journal says the field audit comes after months of increasing tension between the agency and company. The LAT fronts, and the WP and NYT stuff, the developing saga of that 5-year-old Cuban refugee boy plucked from the ocean near Miami on Thanksgiving morning. The boy, who saw his mother drown and then spent 24 hours adrift in an inner tube, is the object of an international tug of war. He is staying with relatives in Florida and has become, says the LAT , a poster child for anti-Castro exiles there, but his father, back in Cuba, wants him returned. The boy is said to want to remain in the U.S. The matter will probably end up in federal court. The WSJ reports that the World Wrestling Federation, faced with advertiser pullouts, may be toning down its material. It quotes WWF minor domo Vince McMahon as saying viewers will soon see less aggression, less colorful language, and less sexuality. The biggest advertiser to pull out over content is Coke, which has a wait-and-see attitude about coming back. Another refugee from the sex and violence: the U.S. Army. Debating Dubya's Debut Issue 1 is the GOP presidential debate. Issue 2 is the Seattle protests against the World Trade Organization. Most pundits think George W. Bush's performance was tepid and formulaic--these include Bill Kristol (ABC's This Week ), Jeff Birnbaum ( Fox News Sunday ), Brit Hume ( Fox ), Paul Gigot (PBS's NewsHour With Jim Lehrer ), and Bob Novak (CNN's Capital Gang ). (For Ballot Box's roundup, click here.) George F. Will ( This Week )--the only pundit, liberal or conservative, who doesn't seem to be pulling for John McCain--scoffs at Kristol's reaction, noting that Bush still has a 50-point lead in South Carolina and remains the most secure GOP front-runner in "living memory." (Steve Roberts [CNN's Late Edition ] and Mark Shields [ Capital Gang ] make similar points.) Most pundits think McCain won the debate, and many--like Fox 's Susan Estrich and Dick Morris--appreciate his jokes about Alan Greenspan's mortality and his own temper. (Tony Snow [ Fox ] and Tucker Carlson [CNN's Late Edition ] venture that McCain may actually have started the "temper" rumors; Brit Hume notes that the issue allows McCain to pose as both a victim of unfair innuendo and as a passionate war hero with fervently held political beliefs.) The pundits also praise Gary Bauer's eloquence, though none thinks the evangelical is a serious threat. Morris says that, according to e-mails received at his Web site, Alan Keyes won the debate. (Suffice it to say that Morris' empirical methods may be open to question; for more on his Web site, click here.) The commentariat splits on the merits of the WTO--and not along ideological lines. WTO supporters include conservatives Will, Gigot, and Rich Lowry (PBS's McLaughlin Group ) as well as liberals like Al Hunt ( Capital Gang ) and Eleanor Clift ( McLaughlin ). WTO opponents include conservatives Novak, John McLaughlin ( McLaughlin ), and Tony Blankley ( McLaughlin ) as well as liberals like Shields ( NewsHour and Capital Gang ) and Margaret Carlson ( Capital Gang ). Many pundits flay President Clinton for his "I-feel-the-protestors'-pain" comments. Gigot notes that the protestors--union members, consumer activists, and environmentalists--are not exactly marginal to the Democratic Party, and Clift acknowledges that Clinton has done a poor job selling his free-trade stance. Steve Roberts points out that Bush has emerged as a stronger supporter of the Clinton administration's free-trade policy than the vice president. Kristol and both Carlsons--Tucker and Margaret--blame Seattle's mayor for treating the protestors with kid gloves ("a weak mayor of Seattle, I'm afraid, a kind of cappuccino sipper," jabs Tucker Carlson). Lowry argues that the protestors, who favor the imposition of higher labor and environmental standards, actually want to give the WTO more power. Free traders Hunt and Kristol, however, call the WTO arrogant for its highhanded dismissal of the protests. ("The Week/The Spin" and "Frame Game" also give their takes on the Seattle demonstrations.) Election notes: On NBC's Meet the Press , John McCain says he would not accept the GOP vice presidential nomination. George Stephanopoulos ( This Week ) announces that McCain and Bill Bradley will soon make joint campaign appearances, promising voters that if they are the nominees they will devote themselves to campaign finance reform. (Stephanopoulos also predicts a more aggressive Bill Bradley on the horizon.) Appearing on Late Edition , This Week , and Meet the Press , Gov. Jesse Ventura, REF-Minn., speaks in favor of free trade, says that John Anderson would be a viable Reform Party presidential candidate, and says he plans to go to church on Christmas (a Lutheran service). Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Shields On Friday's NewsHour , Mark Shields gives John McCain's debate performance a mixed verdict--McCain inspired idealism and was sharp on foreign policy, Shields says, but his knowledge of domestic issues was weak and he wasn't aggressive enough. The next day, on Capital Gang , Shields says flatly, "I thought John McCain bombed on Thursday night." Why the shift of emphasis? Pundit Central suspects that the forum holds a clue: The NewsHour format permits a more leisurely, nuanced discussion, while on Capital Gang Shields has to moderate four other guests and probably felt compelled to foil his fellow panelists' unstinting praise of McCain's performance. Tea and Crumpets, Mr. McLaughlin? Question: Who is more out of place--a Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's court or a courtly Brit * on the McLaughlin Group ? To give his panel some economic heft for a WTO discussion, John McLaughlin invites the Financial Times ' American editor, Robert Thomson, to participate. The Right Honorable Gentleman From the FT seems astonished by the whole, well, vulgarity of the debate. Every time the camera lands on him, he is staring at McLaughlin, Clift, Lowry, and Blankley with mouth agape, stone silent. McLaughlin even ribs his new panelist on his wardrobe (Thomson is wearing a dapper suit--with vest--and spectacles). Later in the program, Thomson looks directly at McLaughlin and says, "Anybody with a temper [like McCain's] shouldn't have a distinguished position anyhow," to which the host gives a knowing smile. * See below. Hanukkah and Combination Skin Dear Margo, An editor at Slate --a Jew--notes that we are ideally matched partners because we share an obsession with the Chosen People. So I am sure you will understand my feelings of discomfort on this third day of Hanukkah. As originally conceived, Hanukkah was a celebration of Jewish resistance to a Greek invasion. It has evolved into a test of our ability to withstand a grease invasion. For the last few days, Jews around the world have consumed an unspeakable amount of a delicacy called latkes--potato pancakes cooked in vats of oil. Today, I am sorry to report, this Jew is doing a terrible job of resisting the grease. December is already an unkind month for those of us with combination skin. But on this third day of latkes, many of us awoke to find that our faces haven't been this splotchy since our bar mitzvahs. A little sympathy (Margo) or a suggestion for a home-remedy (Prudie), please ... I am currently en route to Phoenix for tonight's debate between the Republican presidential nominees. Yes, there is a debate tonight. Yes, Massa George W. Bush will be there. But oddly, John McCain won't be in his home state. The way I understand it, he'll be piped in via satellite from New Hampshire. I happen to think that this is the latest in a series of shrewd moves by the Angry White Candidate, who graces the cover of Time magazine this week. Let Bush share the stage with Alan Keyes and Gary Bauer and Steve Forbes. It can only help to diminish him. Meanwhile, John McCain looks above the fray in his remote studio. (And if he gets a tough question, he can always claim that technical problems have prevented him from hearing it.) This same group of GOPers got together last week and pretty much exhausted pretty much every available topic of contention. Therefore, I predict tonight will be especially raucous. Without anything else of substance to talk about, the candidates can fill their time with the ad hominem attacks they've been saving up. Desperate candidates like Bauer have been threatening to take the gloves off. Before every debate, Bauer aides promise, "Tonight, you'll really see Gary unplugged." I'm still waiting and hoping that he'll finally be barking mad. Before we get off politics and onto more important questions--like the death of the sitcom--what is it with drama critic Peter Marks' piece on campaign ads on the front page of the Times ? I like the idea of having critics write on politics. (The Times seems to want to make it a regular feature, with recent contributions by Caryn James and Michiko Kakutani.) And our friend Frank Rich does it brilliantly. But what we like about Frank is that he takes his sharpened pencil and jabs into politicians the same way that he would a third-rate revival. Steve Forbes would be as devastated as badly as Footloose the musical. But Marks, Kakutani, and James seem to be holding back. The paper is probably afraid of launching napalm-filled lorries from the front page. So why waste the space? If we wanted to talk about Jews this morning, there are plenty of ways to get started. There is the burning question: Did the West Nile virus originate in Israel? Then there is the intriguing Safra murder. I would probably rather talk about the decline of the sitcom, which the Times diagnoses. It argues the genre is worn out and will be challenged by the rise of the game show. This strikes me as bunk. Sitcoms have been expanding exponentially over the '90s. The wild success of Friends , I think, kicked off the era. But TV is the classic "Me Too" medium. Success breeds infinite imitation, and infinite imitation means loads of dreck that garners poor ratings and cancellation. (Soon we'll be reading stories about "The End of the Game Show.") What we're seeing isn't the end of the genre, but a return to equilibrium. We'll have as many sitcoms as we had in, say, 1991. And to this trend I say, "Amen." If you're looking for me tonight on TV, I'll be the Jew with the bad complexion. Unctuously, Frank Who Gets To Unionize? Last week, the National Labor Relations Board ruled that medical interns and residents at private hospitals were employees--not students--and could therefore form unions. What other types of employees can unionize? The large majority of them. In 1935, Congress passed the National Labor Relations Act, which gives virtually every private sector employee the right to unionize and bargain collectively. (This is why last week's decision of the NLRB, which administers the act, affects only private hospitals.) Since 1935, most government employees--whether federal, state, or local--have gained the same rights through other national or state laws. So, only those workers specifically exempted from the NLRA are not guaranteed the ability to unionize. (However, this does not mean that they are prohibited from unionizing--rather, that they cannot seek federal protection if their employer refuses to recognize a union.) They include: Small business employees: The definition of "small business" has not changed since the 1950s. As a result, there are very few companies that still qualify. (For example, a wholesale store would have to have annual sales below $50,000; a retail store, below $500,000; and a law firm, below $200,000.) Managers and supervisors: This group includes anyone with hiring, firing, disciplinary, or compensatory authority over other workers. They are viewed as employers, not employees. Independent contractors: These are people who are hired on an individual, project-by-project basis. They are a growing segment of the workforce, particularly in computer-related fields. Agricultural workers: Because they are seasonal laborers and have a high turnover rate, they were excluded from the law. Only California has granted them unionization privileges. Domestic employees: This group includes maids, butlers, and other live-in household help. Although most American workers can join unions, a decreasing percentage are doing so. In 1998, only 13.9 percent of the workforce was unionized--down from 20.1 percent in 1983 (the first year comparable statistics were collected). And when government employees are excluded, the percentages are even lower: While 37.5 percent of public workers are unionized, only 9.5 percent of the private sector is. Next question? Go, Times, Go! Margo, I am in no mood to mini-boycott the Times this morning. (Perhaps I will have a change of heart tomorrow.) In fact, as I write this I am turning toward 43rd Street and saluting in the direction of culture editor John Darton and the family Sulzberger. I am ecstatic about their appointment of Elvis Mitchell and A.O. ("Tony") Scott as tag-team replacements for outgoing film critic Janet Maslin. (See this morning's New York Observer .) Allow me to write the press release: This may be the best--and certainly the most interesting--lineup of film critics that the Times has ever fronted. Daily film critics are generally a sorry lot. They have to contend with so much Hollywood hokum that they're driven to overuse of overwrought literary pyrotechnics and banal humor. (There are exceptions, such as Roger Ebert and the Wall Street Journal 's Joe Morgenstern.) But I am guessing the new-look New York Times crew will be the bright shining lights in their dim profession. Mitchell, currently with NPR and the Fort Worth Star-Telegram , has the perfect sensibility for writing about a steady profusion of disaster movies and romantic comedies. He's a hipster with a canny understanding of the popular culture. It's hard to imagine him praising every Steven Spielberg flick that comes his way, but it's hard to imagine him dismissing them outright either. Plus, he can write wonderfully scathing pans. Scott, on the other hand, brings intellectual heft. As far as I know, he hasn't done much in the way of film reviewing. But this is a plus. It will be fun to watch him get his legs. There are other reasons for a rosy cultural outlook this morning. (Be cheery, Margo!) A piece in the Washington Post notes the demise of rap impresario Puff Daddy--the Skip Gates of hip-hop. Fans have backlashed against Puffy, accusing him of exploiting the death of his friend and collaborator, the Notorious B.I.G. Recently, record sales have been disappointing. It's a deserved fate. This is not to diminish his career. His work with B.I.G. was slick yet irresistible. (If Notorious had lived, perhaps their partnership would have flourished into the rap equivalent of the Miles Davis-Gil Evans relationship.) And his rap empire is a great success story of capitalism. But Puffy's career has been, well, puffy. His music does dwell on his friend's death in a way that feels disgustingly hollow. And the rest of oeuvre consists of forgettable, not very catchy ditties. In other words, he's commercial without being listenable. And that makes him merely crass. Finally, I think that the existence of the Boring Institute in Maplewood, N.J., is a reason for optimism. I am not sure what they do, and I don't agree with their choice of Hillary as most boring celeb. For that category, I nominate Puff Daddy. I have an idea, dear Prudie. With your expertise in etiquette, I propose that we put out a special millennial edition of Breakfast Table--Best-Mannered Celebrity of All Time. We're now accepting nominees. (I have begun creating a set of criteria and my own list of choices, which I will submit later.) Your friend with the pompoms, Frank "Don't Ask" Don't Work The New York Times leads with President Clinton's announcement (or admission) that the administration's "don't ask, don't tell" policy regarding homosexuals in the military isn't working. Rather than implement a new policy, Clinton is expected to push military officials to better enforce the current one. The statement was prompted by his wife's remarks earlier this week that gays and lesbians should be allowed to serve openly. The Los Angeles Times reefers Clinton's remarks and leads with an expose on failings of the state's education system. California's director of special education maintains that as many as 250,000 children have been incorrectly assessed as "learning disabled" and funneled into California's special education programs simply because they were not taught to read. The Washington Post leads with the State Department's warning that Americans abroad should take extra security precautions in the next month; the department has "credible information" that terrorist groups are planning attacks that target American citizens. The LAT, whose sources are quoted by the Post , reefers the announcement. Despite the WP headline, Americans abroad needn't run for the hills just yet. Such announcements are relatively common, although they usually accompany military actions, economic sanctions, or other foreign policy initiatives (yesterday's warning was the fifth since October). The Post suggests that the warnings are a reference to Osama Bin Laden's terrorist organization, but the link is dubious: Officials wouldn't name a group, they only "indicated that [Bin Laden's group] is the most important organization seeking to undermine U.S. interests." The Post also points out that that attacks could occur any time from now through New Year, until the first week in January, when the Muslim holy month of Ramadan ends. Does the State Department's announcement mention Ramadan, or did the WP add it? Either way, someone seems to be equating Islam and terrorism without explaining why. And wouldn't a Muslim terrorist be less likely, not more likely, to take terrorist action during a holy month? The WP and the LAT front stories highlighting different facets of the AIDS epidemic. The Post examines Africa, where the disease kills 5,000 people each day and could kill as many as 13,000 per day in 2005. The article stresses the economic ramifications of these statistics: In Kenya and Zimbabwe, projected GDP in 2005 may be as much as 20 percent lower than it would have been without the disease's effect on young workers. The LAT article on AIDS in the U.S. emphasizes a more encouraging trend--hospices once filled with patients dying from AIDS are emptying and closing because their patients are getting better and leaving, a phenomenon dubbed "the Lazarus syndrome." The LAT points to today's too-close-to-call presidential race in Chile as a sign that the country's democratization has progressed since dictator Augusto Pinochet stepped down over 10 years ago. The contest, which includes candidates from Chile's main right and left parties as well as four independent candidates, is expected to end in a run-off, the first in the country's history. A NYT special report examines Clinton fund-raiser Terry McAuliffe. McAuliffe is seen as a new breed of entrepreneurial fund-raisers who leverage their services not to obtain cushy ambassadorial posts or lobbyist clout but to help fuel telecommunications, banking, and real-estate business deals. They've also helped fuel some lawsuits: "I've signed thousands of documents, but never read them," McAuliffe remarks. Unlike Vernon Jordan, who plans to relocate to a New York City investment bank when his friend Bill steps down, McAuliffe plans to stay active in politics and is already raising money for Hillary Clinton's Senate bid. Now That's Synergy: Used to be that only movie studios could use high-profile glossy magazines to flog their product. Now, the NYT reports, tobacco companies are paying publishers like Time Inc. millions of dollars to generate magazines similar in look and feel to popular twentysomething mags like Maxim and Mademoiselle. The new magazines, packed with tobacco ads, are an attempt to plug the "communication gap" (as an R.J. Reynolds memo puts it) created by independent magazines, which generally limit tobacco ads to only 2 percent or 3 percent of total ads. But persistent rumors that Joe Camel has signed on to star opposite Gwyneth Paltrow in an upcoming Miramax police drama are just that. The Crash of 2002? What Would George W. Do? Dear Dad, Many thanks for the thoughts on technological change. As for identities, I suppose I could continue on the subject with a lengthy disquisition on the construction of national identities in early modern Europe, drawn from my new book. But somehow, I think this would be getting a little too specialized for the Breakfast Table. So I hope you don't mind if I change the subject and pontificate a little about the presidential campaign. Living in Washington, it's hard to resist the temptation. I must say, though, that since I spend much of my time immersed in the 18 th century, the crazily ritualistic aspects of the campaign strike me very forcefully. The weirdest thing, to my mind, is the way the candidates and the media all seem to pretend that we are electing a benevolent dictator who, once elected, will snap his fingers, and the thousands of pages of position papers drawn up by his campaign staff will automatically become the law of the land. Elect Gary Bauer and abortion will be abolished. Elect George W. and we will get a tax cut. Elect Al Gore and gays will be welcomed into the military. Elect Alan Keyes and everyone will be required to wear underwear on the outside (to continue my homage to Woody Allen's Bananas ). At the very least, it seems to me that reporters could make more of a distinction between three very different types of campaign promises: those it would take a constitutional amendment to fulfill (e.g. abortion, maybe campaign finance reform, because of first amendment concerns); those that would require congressional action (health care, tax cuts, etc.); and those that could be done with a presidential order. Why even waste much time on the first category? Let's pretend, as a thought experiment, that a conspiracy of vintners contaminates the champagne supply with powerful psychedelic mushrooms just before Jan. 1, and that as a result, the entire country goes on a year-long hallucinatory head trip and elects Gary Bauer president, only sobering up after his inauguration. Will abortion still be legal in 2005? Of course it will. Ronald Reagan was strongly against abortion, too. We can be pretty cautious about the second category as well, especially when it comes to the details of health-care plans that will be rewritten and amended time and again before (possible) passage. In fact, one of the few big issues where the candidates' specific promises really matter is gays in the military, since that can be done by executive order. That's why Gore's promise to end Clinton's policy and let the gays in is probably the most important campaign news today. This general problem is why I get steamed when pundits moan about how candidates are ignoring "the issues." Get real. What matters is not the candidate's position papers, but their basic principles, the three or four things they care most about; their experience; their advisors; their political savvy (as our shared favorite spy novelist, Charles McCarry, emphasized in the Times yesterday), and yes, their character. And this is all the more the case during a time when there are no big national disasters to be faced, at least not the sort that require urgent responses. If peace and prosperity continue, and there are no major wars, pretty much any of the serious candidates now running could probably muddle through all right (not counting Steve Forbes as serious, that is). But what about the stock-market collapse of 2002? The Russian invasion of Estonia? The terrorist bombing of Las Vegas? All those things that the candidates don't have position papers on? What really matters is to choose a president who can deal best with a real crisis, rather than worry about what's going to happen to ethanol subsidies (anyone care to bet the subsidies will be gone in 2004, even if John McCain is elected?--of course, as Jacob Weisberg remarks in "Ballot Box," the issue itself is still a good test of character). Thinking in these terms, do we really want to elect George W? Love, David Why the Tube Ain't the Movies David, Just caught up with your postscript. In the discussion of video projection vs. film, you ask: "What is the distinction is between hypnosis and reverie? That sounds like mystical poetry." I first got turned on o this in Jerry Mander's book Four Arguments for the Abolition of Television . To simplify, he suggests that TV actually does hypnotize its viewers, while film creates more of a dream state. That is one reason so many of us get restless when a film runs for more than two hours, yet are perfectly capable of watching the TV for five hours at a stretch. We can only take so much dreaming, perhaps. My own feeling is that when a film is really working, it takes me to a mental state that nothing on television has ever approached. Nor have I ever felt, even on the very best video projection systems, the film experience. I am proud of my home-theater setup. A superb Runco quadrupling projector, DVD as source, THX surround, 10-foot-wide screen, etc. But film it ain't. Digital projection, of course, is not to be confused with projected television. It does not scan the screen but organizes the material into digital "frames." Whether these frames do the same thing as frames of film is doubtful, but Hollywood has certainly not spent one dime to find out. (One wistfully pictures the lab technicians of the Academy of Arts and Sciences, with their beakers and flasks.) As for subjective comparisons between projected video and projected film, I have here an e-mail from a man who asks not to be quoted by his name (which you would recognize and respect), who points out: "They're digitally projecting at 2k ... but also comparing against film at 2k, so that both film and digital are of equal resolution. And both are half of the normal film resolution of 4k. I would love to see them put up something digital against a film image by Freddie Young, even derived from an older (grainier) film stock. In short, as I see it, the test of digital vs. film is rigged to make digital look good." What we have here is a company (TI) with unlimited resources that wants to take film away from us and replace it with their system. And the film community is so technically uninterested and illiterate that there is no outcry. I myself feel keenly inadequate on this subject. I am not technically trained. But I got into this issue and the more I find out about it, the more disturbed I grow. Best, Roger Sense and Inessentiality Dear Dad, That was a lovely letter. A long time ago you talked to me about British obituaries, and since then, when I've had time, I've tried to read the obituary page of the Daily Telegraph . After getting your message, I went back to it on the Web, and saw again what you mean about the differences from American obits. Here's something from last Friday, from a short notice written by the poet P.J. Kavanagh about his late brother-in-law, Lord Milford: "He could not help having a creative laugh: unfeigned, joyous, it made you feel much funnier than you thought you were, which is among the kindest of social gifts." I can't imagine an American newspaper printing an obituary with a sentence like this, which might certainly help get readers through a cold day. There's a certain delight in the inessential things in life which is one of the most pleasant things about British (and also Irish) culture. I suppose it's one reason why poetry remains so much more of a vital force in Britain and Ireland than in America, for what is poetry if not inessential? Tony Blair, of course, doesn't seem to have much time for the inessential. His Britain has to be dynamic, forward-thrusting, fully charged. In this, he resembles no one so much as Margaret Thatcher, whose attitude toward the inessential was one of brusque, snarling contempt. Speaking as an American, this trend in British politics is something I deplore, and my opinion has only been strengthened by reading British authors like John Mortimer (of Rumpole of the Bailey fame), and magazines like the Spectator , which have made a fetish out of the British attitude toward inessential things. Long live fox-hunting, the House of Lords, High Table and High Church and High Tea, Horse Guards and public schools and the royal family! But as a historian, I can't resist remarking that the cultivation of the inessential is a trademark of aristocratic societies (aristocrats deliberately spend their time on trifles to show that they can , and others can't), and that as charming as it appears to outsiders, most native members of the society are unlikely to be so well disposed, since the burden of the aristocracy falls on their shoulders. And having seen one of the famous public schools at rather too close quarters back when I was 14, during your sabbatical year in London, I think that if I were British, I'd be more likely to approach those charming and inessential aspects of British society with a box of explosives than with the Spectator 's pious reverence (and on the Speccie in particular, you'll remember Ian Buruma's devastating account of the place in his book Anglomania ). But back to the news. The most amusing thing I saw in the paper yesterday was that a man legally named DotComGuy (formerly, Mitch Maddox), is going to move into an empty house carrying only a credit card on January 1 and not leave again for the entire year, relying exclusively on the Internet for furniture, food, services and entertainment. His Web site claims that he will spend the year "living inside the Internet," as if this were some great foray into new and unexplored regions of cyberspace. Talk about being behind the curve! I think the real challenge for a currently employed middle-class professional today would be to spend a year living entirely outside the Internet: no e-mail, no eToys or E*Trade or Amazon, no MP3s or game demos, no online banking or selection of benefits through the company intranet, not to mention, of course, no Slate . I don't think I'd survive for more than a few days (which is why your daughter-in-law, alas, once referred to herself as a "wwww", for "world wide web widow"). You may have a different opinion, not being anywhere near as much a regular user of the Web as I am. But then again, here you are, in Slate : the public intellectual as content provider for Microsoft. Weekend Cocktail Chatter This was one of those weeks in the market that a couple of decades ago, perhaps even a decade ago, would have seemed inconceivable. (I know, every week these days probably would have seemed inconceivable.) Despite some really impressive news on the inflation front--the Consumer Price Index rose a weaker-than-expected 0.1 percent and the Labor Department issued a study saying that states with the lowest unemployment rates showed no added inflationary pressure--interest rates just kept rising, touching 6.4 percent at one point on Thursday. Normally, those kinds of yields in the bond market would pull money out of stocks. But at least when it came to the powerhouses of this stock market, the big-cap tech names, no one even blinked. Y2K? Tax-selling after the New Year? High p/e ratios? It does not seem to matter. So down the egg nog and give shares in some Internet highfliers as gifts. It'll be just like when my grandmother used to give us lottery tickets for our birthdays. 1. "The Justice Department is investigating MTV for possible antitrust violations. I can hear the lawyers talking now: 'Well, we could go after Exxon. But if we go after MTV, even if nothing comes of it, we'll probably get to meet Serena Altschul and Jennifer Lopez.' " 2. "Michael O'Reilly, the chief financial officer of Linux software maker Corel , announced he was resigning Wednesday. O'Reilly is the third exec to leave the company in two weeks. Corel says they all left for 'personal reasons.' As in, they were personally appalled at the direction the company was taking, and could no longer work there in good conscience?" 3. "Sony Pictures announced that Amy Pascal, president of Columbia Pictures , was being promoted to chairwoman, even though Columbia has been in a slump and had only one hit this year . On the other hand, Pascal was visionary enough to green-light Adam Sandler's Big Daddy . So give her a corner office, too!" 4. "Three antismoking groups issued a report today telling tobacco farmers that their economic problems stemmed not from antismoking efforts in the United States but from cigarette companies' decisions to outsource production and supply abroad. Surprisingly, the report did not add: 'Of course, we do want you to go out of business. But we really aren't the ones who are making that happen.' " 5. "Internet giant CMGI announced it was spending $523 million to acquire yesmail.com , which delivers targeted promotional messages to people's e-mail boxes. Ah, the promise of the Web: half a billion dollars for the online equivalent of telephone solicitors." 6. "Microsoft's stock soared this week after the long-awaited Windows 2000 operating system was released to manufacturing plants. Now, given that Windows 2000 wasn't exactly a secret , it's not clear why anyone who bought Microsoft this week wouldn't have bought it a couple of weeks ago. Of course, maybe they just thought it was never going to appear. I guess it's easier to underpromise and overdeliver when no one believes in you to begin with." 7. "The Wall Street Journal reported that Mahir Cagri , the Turkish man who became a cyber-star because of his wiggy home page featuring the dreaded photo of him in a Speedo and his inimitable slogan 'I kiss you!' has gotten two offers from Hollywood studios to 'film his life story.' Ms. Pascal, I think we've just found the next Adam Sandler vehicle!" Bottoms Up The New York Times leads with Janet Reno's announcement that she's expanding her inquiry into Al Gore's fund-raising phone calls. USA Today leads with the news that juvenile violent crime has dropped more than 9 percent in the past year, the Los Angeles Times with the word that the U.S. is likely to OK nuclear power deals between U.S. firms and China, and the Washington Post with the news that President Clinton is about to propose civilian review boards to oversee the IRS. The Times reports that while deciding to go forward on Gore, Reno rejected the need for an independent counsel to investigate Bill Clinton's White House coffees and Lincoln Bedroom-visit arrangements. Reno has till the middle of the month before deciding whether or not to expand her inquiry into Clinton's fund-raising phone calls. The NYT also reveals that one of the attorneys Gore has hired to help with his mounting problems is doing the work pro bono. The lawyer , James Neal, says the practice is legal and ethical. The WP front-page piece about Reno's decision has virtually all the same information, except that the Post missed the Gore-pro bono tidbit. However, the Post does break ground in a long front-page piece about the disarray surrounding what it calls the DOJ's "crippled" 11-month investigation into White House fund raising. The core problem apparently was that the FBI wanted to focus on the president, vice president, and other senior officials, but the Justice Department attorneys wanted a "bottom up" investigation. (The DOJ lawyers are defending their point of view in the Wall Street Journal 's "Washington Wire," saying the case against naming a special prosecutor is "pretty strong.") As a result, says the paper, the task force didn't even interview senior officials for eight months, and the information that may eventually result in the appointment of an independent counsel came not from the task force but from a "newspaper account." (Apparently, modesty is still on the style-sheet at the House of Graham--that newspaper was the Post .) The LAT 's story about China's nuke trade opening says that the new U.S. stance comes "amid intensive lobbying by the U.S. nuclear industry." A company the paper names as a likely beneficiary is Westinghouse. Also, it is revealed that the administration's OK will probably be given at Clinton's Cot. 28-29 meeting in Washington with Chinese President Jiang Zemin. Jesse Helms, the LAT says, criticizes the deal, saying it would stand as a "testament to the role financial interests play in the U.S. policy toward China." The story's details suggest he has a point, inasmuch as it relates that China is still providing missile and chemical/biological warfare technology to Iran and Pakistan. Meanwhile the front pages of both the WP and the NYT national edition state that the Defense Department has given the green light to test-firing a powerful laser at a satellite orbiting some 200-plus miles up. The State Department had been against the idea, particularly because of concern about what moving forward in this weapons area would do to Russia's attitude toward the latest arms-reduction treaty, START II, which Russia hasn't ratified yet. Both papers reveal that the laser is known by the Strangelovian MIRACL for "Mid-Wave Infrared Chemical Laser." (There's a sneaking suspicion here that the acronym came first, followed by the billions required to make a weapon that fits it.) The WSJ explains that U.S. representatives at the Kyoto global-warming talks will be singing the praises of pollution credit markets, which, the EPA says, have contributed to a 30-percent drop in sulfur-dioxide emissions here just since 1994. Something this powerful is needed for all greenhouse gases, since as a chart accompanying the piece points out, the U.S. is the world's biggest CO2 emitter, producing almost twice as much as China, and at a per capita 10 times greater. (A thought: Maybe there's a solution here to the cloud of graft and corruption hanging over Washington: scandal credits.) Analyst Whores; Qualcomm Soars If there's one thing to hope for after this day on which the Nasdaq leapt over 4,000 (hardly a month after it crossed 3,000), it's that three months from now no one remembers Walt Piecyk's name. Piecyk is the Paine Webber telecom analyst who this morning put a 12-month price target of $1,000-a-share on Qualcomm, which closed yesterday at $503 a share. Piecyk's call sent Qualcomm's stock back off to the races. It opened at $560, and ended the day at $659, which is a leap of 31 percent. That's respectable by any standard, but it's especially remarkable when you consider that Qualcomm, before today, was already the best-performing stock in the S&P 500 Index, up about 1,800 percent for the year. (It's now up better than 2,300 percent.) I know, I know. These numbers are effectively gibberish, especially since I could fill this column every day with stories about stocks making incredible moves upward. So why does it matter or not matter whether in May the mention of Walt Piecyk's name will be greeted with anything other than "Who?" The simplest answer is that the success of calls like Piecyk's--success here meaning just that investors buy on the news of your price target--leads to more calls just like it. When Henry Blodget, who was then at CIBC Oppenheimer, said that Amazon's shares would hit $400 within the year (he was right), it catapulted him into national attention and, in some sense, probably got him his new job at Merrill Lynch. And other analysts noticed. When FreeMarkets, a hot new business-to-business company, went public a few weeks ago, an analyst at a firm that wasn't underwriting the deal initiated coverage on the day of the IPO and set a price target of $300 a share, even though the company was going public at $48 a share. It's become almost de rigueur , in fact, for analysts to make audacious calls. Otherwise they won't even be noticed. You can see the same phenomenon at work in analysts' estimates of things like that fabled Internet business-to-business market. For a while now, the number everyone's been tossing around is $1.3 trillion in 2003. But that means that if you're an analyst and you cite that number, no one will notice you. So now the numbers are getting ratcheted up, to the point where a recent Goldman, Sachs study said the market could be as large as $2.5 trillion. (And, of course, here I am mentioning the report.) The phenomenon of number creep is bad because we want analysts to reach conclusions they think are true, and not conclusions that they think are going to get them on CNBC. (I realize this is incredibly naive, but there it is.) And the truth is that there still isn't enough accountability for these kinds of forecasts to make the rewards and punishments for success and failure commensurate. But the phenomenon is also bad because these kinds of calls have become market-moving events, which means that it's no longer irrational to trade as a result of them, at least if you're a trader. According to a traditional definition of "information" about a stock (as in, a stock's price reflects all the available information the market has about it), Piecyk's report was not new. Moreover, when you consider that Qualcomm was already up 1,800 percent for the year, the appropriate question to ask is probably: "Why are you just starting to cover this stock now?" But if we broaden the definition of "information" to include everything that might affect that stock's price, even in the short term, then the report has to be considered new information, which means that it has to affect the stock price. And that means that ignoring it is not necessarily rational, even if there's nothing valuable about Piecyk's analysis. The best thing for everyone, then, will be for Qualcomm to settle back in the next couple of months, or even just rise slightly, and for Piecyk's forecast to be forgotten. In the long run, even in this stock market, companies' stock prices will find their true level. But what has become incredibly clear in 1999 is that the signal-to-noise ratio in the stock market is degenerating (with something like Piecyk's report being noise), and that means that it will take longer for those true levels to be reached. More Coffee and Less Coffey The Washington Post and USA Today both lead with Janet Reno's admission yesterday that she was "mad" at the White House because she wasn't told in a timely manner about the coffee videos. The Los Angeles Times leads with the destruction wrought in Acapulco by a hurricane, and the New York Times goes with Germany's interest rate increase. The WP says that Reno's remarks were "an extraordinary public critique" of the president. Reno admitted that the video controversy has strained relations with the White House. The NYT , in its front page Reno piece, says she has just completed "one of the most humiliating weeks in her tenure." The WP and the NYT say that Sen. Orrin Hatch is considering holding hearings on Reno's conduct of the fund-raising inquiry. USAT goes further, saying Hatch "would hold a hearing." Just what we need now: not just another investigation, but an investigation of an investigation. The top-front-page picture used by the NYT to illustrate its Reno story is also an illustration of how in general papers use photos with news stories. It's a shot of Clinton, a third person and Reno sitting in a row. Reno has her head turned completely away from Clinton, which is natural enough, since they are listening to a speech, but the posture looks chilly. And that's why it's there--after all, certainly there were moments immediately before and after this one in which Clinton and Reno shook hands and spoke to each other. The NYT 's lead says that Germany's decision to raise its basic interest rate "sent shivers around the world." But none of the other majors felt a thing: none of them led with the story nor even gave it any front-page space. The LAT decision to lead with one hundred deaths caused in Mexico's leading resort city by Hurricane Pauline was not quite as lonely--the storm is USAT 's second lead and tops the Wall Street Journal 's world-wide news digest--but was no doubt influenced by the paper's Mexican demographic. Incidentally, for the second week running, the WP is running a complete page (about the soccer World Cup qualifying round) in the sports section in Spanish. This is apparently a first for a major U.S. newspaper, and for good or ill, probably the start of a trend. The LAT front covers what it calls the unexpected departure of its editor, Shelby Coffey, who is described in the piece by Mark Willes, the recently named publisher of the paper, as "a truly remarkable man and editor." Howard Kurtz presents a little different picture in his WP piece on the situation. "'Shelby told me he's been through four publishers and doesn't want to do this anymore,' said Metro Editor Leo Wolinsky. 'He's used to running the newsroom his way, and generally speaking he's been allowed to do that. Mark intends to get involved with everything. . . . He's thrown a hand grenade into the middle of the system. He's blowing up what we have.'" Another LAT veteran tells Kurtz that Willes is "convinced the newspaper business is filled with a lot of dopes who have let the business deteriorate." In a NYT op-ed piece, Lyn Nofziger, a former Reagan aide, bristles at the suggestion made earlier in the week by Harold Ickes that Reagan raised money in the White House too. Writes Nofziger: "I have talked to Mr. Reagan's personal secretary and the two men who served as his personal aides during his eight years in office, and each one is adamant that Mr. Reagan never phoned for or personally solicited money. That coincides with my own knowledge of President Reagan." Ooops. Today's WP runs a transcription of a solicitation made by Reagan ten years ago in the East Room at a gathering of Republican fat cats, who in response contributed $1.3 million. It's a Wonderful Life, Charlie Brown The New York thing is easy: It wasn't to my taste, but New Yorkers tended to like it the way it was. Like Egypt holding a Christian New Year celebration at the pyramids, New York under Giuliani is playing to the tourists. That may be good strategy for an economy losing manufacturing jobs (a strategy honed for decades by New Orleans), but that's a fickle crowd to keep happy. I say just give up and put a giant casino in the middle of it. Like New Orleans. I'm handling the Peanuts thing so well. Mainly because, as with Capra, I never saw the dark side, only the Met Life commercials side. Frankly, I cross people off my list who say It's a Wonderful Life is their favorite movie. The Staples Center scandal is remarkable precisely because, in defense of the Times ' behavior, so many other egregious examples of editorial-advertiser coziness surface. I do think it stinks that newspapers own teams that their sports pages have to "cover," or that even the most distinguished papers hold conferences, seminars, and festivals that then tend to get "covered" more than events sponsored by others. It's a practice indistinguishable except in degree from TV newscasts' doing "stories" that just "happen" to tie in to the movies that preceded them. Don't get me started. Does this Putin guy scare you? Personally, I loved Yeltsin's resignation speech. The slowest anybody has ever been allowed to speak on television, like the Russian branch of Bob and Ray's Slow Talkers of America. We're gonna miss that lovable old drunk. Now comes a guy who actually knows how to run a government, and thinks the coolest branch thereof is the secret police. Harry Shearer Hits and Misses Dear Jack, I'm glad you picked up on the alternative newspaper question, for two reasons. One, it spotlights the frustrating limits of Rosen's definitions of journalism and journalists. There is nary a mention in this thick book of any of the leading "alternative" weeklies, which are often stuffed with material that one might expect to intrigue Rosen. There's also little mention of national magazines, whether specialized political ones or big general-interest ones. There's almost no attention paid to radio, where hundreds of of excellent American journalists work, and only at the end does Rosen acknowledge the development of the Internet as a news medium. Even television doesn't get much play here, at least not compared with the audience it garners in real life. In other words: For someone with as sweeping and academic-seeming a criticism as Rosen's, he's done a poor job of defining the terms of what journalists do, where they work, and how they operate. Two, as you indicate, "alternative" newspapers have been thriving, many for decades, by providing readers with exactly the kind of service Rosen says he wants: reporting with perspective; reader inclusion; making stories into crusades; etc. Their "success" in doing so is of course debatable, but it makes you wonder: Has Rosen simply never read those papers? Or is he avoiding using them as models? My guess is the latter. I'll bet it's a prestige problem. The folks at Pew Charitable Trust and the other purse strings of public journalism would scream: "We didn't cough up several million dollars so you could tell the media to behave like the goddamned Village Voice ." That said, I think you're being awfully sanguine about the state of American media. I find most American newspapers to be quite bad; to argue that they might once have been worse is neither reassuring nor really the point. Most television journalism is horrendous, and some is actually harmful (by misinforming viewers about crime, for example). Either you want that situation to change or you don't, but denying it seems silly. You're also arguing against straw men of your own creation: A journalist does not need to have a "lunch-pail and straphanger" audience in order to be out of touch. Pick up a copy of the Miami Herald (or, for that matter, the San Francisco Chronicle ), and tell me with a straight face that those papers are doing the best job they can to reflect and report life in those cities. Remind me which prime-time network news show it is that deals with immigration, public education, workplace discrimination, and how to solve health and child-care problems. Seems to me that whenever I tune in I am asked to contemplate "The Miracle of Sextuplets." As for presidential politics, we agree that poor coverage is not exclusively the media's fault, or even principally its fault. But it also seems a cop-out to say that if the candidates don't disagree, then there's no way to cover the issues. I don't think that some of the experiments in this book are all that bad for that kind of coverage. That is, start with local issues; in my neighborhood, they include AIDS, homelessness, housing prices, and the need for a Second Avenue subway. Then look to what candidates can offer (skeptically, of course, since the real story may be that these problems elude solutions on the presidential level). If they don't disagree one iota, then maybe there's a political problem, but I don't think there would be a problem producing good or interesting journalism. I suspect, by the way, that the better New York papers will do something like this as the primary approaches, though they won't call it public journalism. Poor Monica Harry, You're completely right about Monica: Why could she possibly have to leave the Larry King show early? Since she was taping in Los Angeles and it was pushing 7 p.m., I have to assume it was a dinner. (With whom? Where? Are you allowed to bring your Jenny Craig powders into Spago?) I was delighted that she was replaced on camera with my favorite infomercial guru, Tony Robbins. As an insomniac and a borderline depressive, I'm the perfect target audience for his pitch. And by the end of each half-hour spiel--whether it's the one where he's being "interviewed" by Leeza Gibbons or Fran Tarkenton--I'm half ready to call in for the tapes. Hey, if it worked for Levar Burton, I'm there dude. You know, Harry, it's more than just a pep talk. Tony's tapes are a scientific system. The other Monica thing that struck me is this crazy immunity agreement she struck with Starr. She's basically not allowed to criticize him. Apparently, their deal is so sweeping in what she can't say about the Office of Independent Counsel that she essentially gave up her First Amendment rights. This leaves her in a truly sad position (no jokes, please): She has to share her weight with the world and go public to pay her legal bills for an insane case and yet when she has the public platform she can't scream: Eat me, Ken Starr. (Or the other way around.) You see the OSHA story in the papers? This is one of those regulatory rulings that sets liberalism back a generation. Apparently OSHA has ruled that people who work at home--even if it's just for a day to take care of a sick kid--have to be provided with all the workplace safety stuff that they'd get on the job--proper ventilation, ergonomically correct chairs, etc. You think I can expense a new pair of slippers? The Canadian threat is underrated, I agree. After "Dead or Alive"--Idi Amin (Alive!), Claudette Colbert (Dead!)--one of my favorite parlor games is "Are they Canadian?" Some are easy--William Shatner, Monty Hall. But there are tough ones: I can usually win when I announce, to a stunned dinner table, that Garrick Utley is not Canadian. I know you endured the Bradley-Gore speeches, but we should try to catch the debates this week. I predict that by week's end, a desperate Gore, with his awkward emphasis on the wrong syllable and haltingly condescending voice will announce: "You know, my WI-fe, Tipper, was born in the U-nited States. There's NO one goosestepping in our family tree." Bradley will reply with long passages from Cornel West, Hugh Prather, Robert Putnam, and Khalil Gibran. He's sooooo thoughtful. Later. --Matt Dialing for Deals USA Today , the Washington Post , and the New York Times all lead with the latest developments in the investigation of President Clinton's fund-raising. The Los Angeles Times can't even find room for that on its front page and leads instead with the historic Belfast meeting of British Prime Minister Tony Blair and Irish Republican political leader Gerry Adams. USAT says that the Justice Department task force investigating Clinton's phone calls is recommending that Janet Reno take no action in that matter. Reno's spokesman, the paper reports, says his boss hasn't made a decision yet. (She could, besides ending the investigation, also continue looking into it, or ask a court to name an independent counsel.) USAT quotes Clinton as saying that "I have gone out of my way to have no conversation with her about this or, frankly, anything else." In their lead stories, both the WP and NYT have Clinton adding, "...which I'm not sure is so good." The additional observation seems right and newsworthy. Wonder why USAT left it out. The WP leads with the news that Clinton is willing to be interviewed by Justice for this investigation. And the paper quotes Clinton in reaction to Reno's recent statement that she was 'mad' about the White House's lag on the coffee tapes: "You should have been there when I heard about it." (The NYT has this too.) The NYT goes further, saying the White House and the Justice Department are in fact negotiating an agreement under which President Clinton would answer questions about his knowledge of Democratic re-election fund-raising efforts. The interviews would not, says the Times , be conducted by Reno, but by lower-level prosecutors. This deal is being worked out, because, the NYT says, citing "law enforcement officials" and disagreeing with USAT , the phone calls investigation will probably go forward. The Post story includes this explanation for why the White House Communications Agency, "a military unit that provides the president with secure communications," originally didn't produce the coffee tapes: the WHCA's chief of staff got the full memo requesting any such videos, but when he put it into an e-mail format to send it to his boss, the agency's director, he accidentally omitted the first two pages. The paper quotes Clinton saying he doesn't blame the WHCA. But why isn't Clinton or the WP at all concerned that the office responsible for providing the president with "secure communications" can't email a memo without losing the first two pages? The LAT leads with a "gesture of peace so fraught with controversy that it was made behind closed doors," namely, the handshake yesterday in Belfast between Blair and Adams. The meeting lasted but ten minutes, and was, the LAT reports, immediately assailed by Protestant hard-liners as an insult to the victims of IRA terrorism. The paper reports that Blair later would not confirm that the handshake occurred, and that he had arranged that no pictures were taken of it. The history of such handshakes suggests that such caution is not crazy. Think Gandhi. Think Sadat. Think Rabin. The NYT states and powerfully describes a new division among people with AIDS--that between those who can afford the powerful new medications like protease inhibitors that promise to transform AIDS from a fatal to a merely chronic disease, and those who cannot. The story reports that the federal-state partnership that pays for AIDS drugs for the indigent is broke in 26 states. As a result, poor people with AIDS often simply go without. The Wall Street Journal 's "Work Week" column notes that for employees who like to surf the Internet at work, Tripod Inc.'s Web site has a "panic button" for use when the boss shows up. Press it and the screen suddenly switches to a nominating form for "Boss of the Year." Through much arduous research, this column has discovered a more subtle variant: A Triple-X site operating from Los Angeles has a panic button that instantly kicks over to the CNN Web site. Gore Mellows Editor's note : Jacob Weisberg has filed a report from Thursday's debate among the GOP presidential candidates. Click here to read it. DURHAM, N.H--A good night for Al Gore. His progress in this, the fifth Democratic debate, was finally arriving at a reasonable tone. As in the previous encounters, Gore was highly critical of his rival. But this time he was able to be critical of Bill Bradley without coming off as smarmy or hectoring. Gore made all his familiar criticisms--that Bradley wasn't putting any money aside for Medicare, that his health-care plan wouldn't cover everybody, and that when the going got tough in the Senate, Bradley got going. But absent was about 80 percent of the sense of artificiality that characterized Gore's earlier performances. Gore dispensed with the vocalized sighs and weary head-shakings of the Meet the Press debate. This meant that you could listen to what he was saying without having to spend the whole time disliking him. Gore also included one new attack on Bradley that was very much on point. He finally took the advice of "Kausfiles" and nailed Bradley for opposing welfare reform in 1996. Given the opportunity to ask Bradley a direct question, Gore asked whether his opponent thought he made a mistake on three big votes in the Senate--in favor of the Reagan budget cuts, against the use of force resolution the Gulf War, and against welfare reform. Bradley responded with a stream of gobbledygook, the thrust of which was that he stood by his decisions and would do the same again, even with the benefit of hindsight. "I think all three of them were a mistake," Gore responded, neatly underscoring the lameness of Bradley's answer. "I think that people were trapped in the old welfare system. ... Saddam Hussein would still be in Kuwait if we had tried to rely on sanctions. Those budget cuts from Ronald Reagan hurt New Hampshire." Peter Jennings, who was a somewhat off-key moderator throughout the event, then asked a pointless thumbsucker of a follow-up: "How large a mistake is a president allowed to make?" The occasion not being a seminar at the Kennedy School, both candidates wisely ignored him. Jennings' other moment of weirdness was asking Bradley "what you really thought when Gore held out his hand" in the last debate--as if he was hosting some kind of debate post-game show rather than the debate itself. Infinitely less adept at stoking an argument than Tim Russert, Jennings kept trying to get the candidates to repeat highlights from their previous session. But perhaps because arguing offends his sense of politeness, he kept trying to change the subject when they did start scrapping. Perhaps Jennings was confused about how to handle a broadcast that didn't involve any costume changes. His pathetic answer on welfare aside, Bradley turned in a strong performance as well. Substantively, I thought his best moment was his question to Gore about why the vice president wouldn't join him in supporting the registration and licensing of all handguns. Gore's lame response was that "it doesn't have a prayer of ever becoming law." Bradley then delivered a lecture on what it means to be a leader. "Where would the country be today if Franklin Roosevelt said Social Security's too difficult to do? Of if Lyndon Johnson said Medicaid's too difficult to do? The essence of leadership is taking something that is difficult and making it possible because you engage the American people in an attempt to make it happen." Bradley's other best riff came after Gore asked him again why he hadn't put money aside for Medicare. After explaining that continued strong economic growth might vaporize the problem, Bradley tried to cast Gore as a small-minded inside-the-Beltway character for dwelling on the point. "When I hear you talk, Al, it reminds me of a Washington bunker. I think you're in the Washington bunker. ... The Democratic Party shouldn't be in the Washington bunker with you." Canned as it probably was, this was a wicked sound bite. It would have been more effective, though, if Gore had been badgering Bradley the way he has in previous debates. But for the first time, Gore wasn't the clear aggressor--and Bradley wasn't clearly the aggrieved. The McCain Mutiny Chatterbox thinks the New York Times is overreacting to the Boston Globe 's Jan. 5 scandal story about John McCain and the Federal Communications Commission. Although it attracted little attention when it first broke in Pittsburgh last month (click here to read the Dec. 16 article in the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette ), the story landed on Page 1 of the Globe yesterday, and on the front page of the New York Times today. The Washington Post and the Wall Street Journal , more appropriately, put the story on pages A5 and B5, respectively. If Chatterbox were feeling conspiratorial, he might argue that the Times is hyping the story because it previously was hyped in a newspaper its corporate parent happens to own. But that would be precisely the sort of two-plus-two-equals-five reasoning that made the FCC story Page 1 news to begin with. Probably the real reason the Times gave the story big play is that it feels self-conscious about the favorable coverage McCain's candidacy has been getting from the media in general. In case you missed the Globe story, or Ted Koppel's uncharacteristically clumsy interrogation of McCain last night on Nightline , or the newspaper follow-ups today, here's what we know: In November, and again in December, McCain, in his capacity as chairman of the Senate Commerce committee, wrote testy letters to the FCC demanding swift action on Paxson Communications' proposed acquisition of a Pittsburgh TV station. (The Times reprinted the December letter; to read it, click here) The deal had been held up for more than two years, even though, as the Globe noted in passing, "the FCC has never turned down a local market license transfer." (Italics Chatterbox's.) The only significant complication in the case was that the transfer involved a public TV station that Paxson wanted to convert to commercial use; apparently, such conversions are rare. But this was the second of two PBS affiliates in Pittsburgh. How many public TV stations does Pittsburgh need? Shortly after McCain prodded the FCC a second time, the agency approved the acquisition, which the (somewhat liberal) editorial page of the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette called "long overdue." The reason you're hearing about this at all is that Paxson executives have contributed more than $20,000 to McCain's presidential campaign, and Paxson has lent McCain its corporate jet four times (though campaign law requires McCain to reimburse Paxson the price of a first-class ticket, that doesn't really cover the cost). Thus the implied twin themes of the Globe and Times pieces: 1) Having been nicked a decade ago by the Keating Five scandal, McCain still doesn't understand that legislators should refrain from pressuring regulatory agencies to serve the interests of their campaign contributors; and 2) McCain's sermons about money corrupting politics are hypocritical, because he's just as corrupt as everyone else. Based on what we know so far, 1) is a bum rap. As McCain has stated over and over in his defense, he never told the FCC to approve the transfer; he just asked it to stop dithering and make a decision. As he wrote in the December letter, "my purpose is not to suggest in any way how you should vote--merely that you vote." This is absolutely what U.S. taxpayers pay McCain, as chairman of a Senate committee that oversees the FCC, to do. According to FCC chairman William E. Kennard's reply, McCain's query was "highly unusual," and threatened to harm "the due process rights of the parties." But anyone even vaguely familiar with the way the FCC works knows that it's drowning in "due process." Probably a more honest reply would have been: Look, we're not supposed to say so, but one of the ways we do policy at the FCC is through delay. When you interfere with our dithering, you're forcing us to change policy. Get off my back. But that wouldn't have been a good answer, either; in most instances, bureaucratic delay is not the best way to make policy. Did McCain want the Paxson transfer to go through? Yes, probably. But if the inexorable logic of making a decision was that the FCC would approve the transfer , that's hardly McCain's fault. (Oddly, both the Times and the Globe make only glancing mention of a separate instance in which McCain complained to the FCC that it was applying too strict a standard of review to a deal involving Ameritech, whose chief was raising money for McCain. This sounds like much more of a "Keating," but one would have to know more facts.) On to 2): Is McCain a hypocrite? After the story broke, McCain said, "The system corrupts all of us." This would argue for "no." On the other hand, McCain doesn't carry his commitment to frankness so far as to admit that of course he gave Paxson's case more attention than he would that of someone who didn't contribute money to his campaign. According to the Times story, McCain has often forwarded complaints from constituents and others from outside Arizona without taking any position, following the practice of most lawmakers. Many of those were not contributors. ... But in the vast majority of those particular regulatory matters where Mr. McCain himself sent a letter, the interested parties had contributed to his presidential or Senate campaigns. According to the Post , Paxson's lobbyist on the matter, Lanny Davis (formerly a legal flak catcher for the Clinton White House), got Democratic Reps. Steny Hoyer, Tom Udall, and Ron Klink to go one step further than McCain and actually urge the FCC to approve the sale. McCain surely deserves some credit for not doing that . The more important point, though, is that if McCain's campaign-finance bill were passed, the pressures that compel McCain, Hoyer, et al., to be more helpful to some folks than they are to others would (one hopes) be reduced. If this makes McCain a hypocrite, so are the other two major presidential candidates who are serious about campaign-finance reform. The other major candidate, George W. Bush--who's already swatted McCain a couple of times about the FCC matter--is entirely free of this taint. But that's just another way of saying Bush would do nothing to curb the big-money influence on politics. The Future of Family Feuds The Los Angeles Times leads with a local story: A study shows that California's high-tech boom is disproportionately benefiting the rich and, consequently, widening the state's income gap. The Washington Post leads with a preview of the upcoming Supreme Court arguments over the constitutionality of state statutes that guarantee visitation rights to grandparents. The LAT 's off-lead concludes that the case, Troxel vs. Granville , will define the government's future role in family affairs. The Troxels, assisted by governmental groups and the AARP, argue that courts should be allowed to mandate grandparental visitation rights to protect the welfare of minors. Their son's widow contends that court-mandated visitation infringes on parental privacy. Her position is echoed by traditional religious groups and civil libertarians. The New York Times leads with Democratic worries that the Republican Party will enjoy as much as a four-to-one soft money spending advantage in the coming election. Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee chairman Sen. Robert G. Torricelli projects that the Democrats will raise less than $30 million. Torricelli says the GOP could garner $200 million. The Democratic National Committee's campaign purse is currently one-fourth the size of the Republican Party's roughly $10 million war chest. The DNC's failure to amass cash is attributed to its lack of a finance chair, donors' doubts about the party's presidential prospects, and the dissipation of President Clinton's fund-raising power. Party patriarchs fret that Republicans will bury Democratic candidates under an avalanche of expensive TV ads. The Times points out that the Democrats' public pouting could be an attempt to stimulate fund raising. The Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee is flush with cash, reports the Post in an inside item. The DCCC enters 2000 with more money than the Republican Congressional Committee. House Democrats collected more than $33 million in 1999 and still have $19 million left. House Republicans raised $48 million but spent all but about $10 million. The NYT and the Post front John McCain's release of more than 500 letters that he sent to federal agencies under the jurisdiction of a committee he chairs. A reefered piece in the LAT emphasizes that the document dump is an attempt to defuse the controversy over McCain's efforts on behalf of campaign contributor Paxson Communications. McCain, who received $20,000 and the use of a corporate jet from Paxson affiliates, encouraged the Federal Communications Commission to issue a ruling on the company's acquisition of a broadcast station. The Post underscores that McCain also intervened to assist BellSouth, which contributed plane rides and $60,000 to his political fortunes. "Generally the letters simply urged speeded-up action rather than any specific outcome," according to the WP . (Chatterbox argues that there is nothing wrong with a senator urging an agency to act promptly.) McCain claims only 15 letters sought help for entities that contributed more than $2,000 to his presidential coffers, but the Times points out that the campaign's count may exclude letters written to aid Senate campaign contributors and lobbyists. A Post piece reports that most voters are unaware of the recent hullabaloo over regulatory correspondence. A NYT front-pager explains why the Y2K threat fizzled. The World Bank and the State Department forecasted significant disruption in countries like Russia, but the experts prognosticated on the basis of poor data. They underestimated last-minute preparations and overestimated "technology dependence." A WP "Outlook" piece attributes the undue unease to good old-fashion fear of technology. A LAT front-pager laments the explosion of test-gaming by privileged college-bound kids. The number of students who enjoy "special accommodations" on the SAT, including extra time, rose by more than 50 percent in "recent years." Most of the growth in learning disability adjustments, which schools approve based on a doctor's note or psychologist's recommendation, comes from ritzy prep and public schools. "Hundreds and perhaps thousands" of kids are taking advantage of the system. The Times fronts Manhattan's latest absurdity--co-op pet vetting. The luxury apartment market is so overheated that dozens of co-ops have begun to screen the pets of potential owners. Boards evaluate pet size, pedigree, training, demeanor, and appearance. Real estate agencies prepare dog biographies for board evaluation. Owners administer Valium to calm their canines before co-op scrutiny. Analyze This! Dear Judith, Jesus H. Christ! How many thoughts can you squeeze into a single e-mail? I want to tell you a story: One day in late 1998, I was hanging around the Westchester federal courthouse, waiting for another of John A. Gotti's interminable pre-trial hearings to begin, when I bumped into Gotti's friend, Angelo Ruggiero Jr. Fat Angie (I think they call him Fat Angie) is the son of Angelo "Quack-Quack" Ruggerio, who got his nickname because he talked too much into government wires. Ruggerio the Son is a nice guy, not too smart, maybe, but nice, and we made small talk about his Filas. There was, in fact, not much I needed to know from Angelo. But I did have one question: Why did he and his buddy-boy John eat so often at Cracker Barrel? This was one of the amazing true facts I uncovered about Junior Gotti (some mob reporters uncover complex union kickback scams; I expose the secret dining habits of pathetic goombahs). What I asked Angelo was this: Why would an Italian-American, heir to the greatest cuisine on the planet, stoop to eat chicken-fried steak at a redneck restaurant chain? Angelo looked at me, shrugged his shoulders and said, "I don't know. I mean, how much Italian food can you eat?" Your e-mail--and the cultural elite's obsession with the The Sopranos --reminds me of Angie's profound comment. What I mean is, how much Culturebox-style commentary about The Sopranos can the public eat? I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, "Hey, I got your Culturebox right here, you fuckin' mook you." I also know I'm as guilty as anyone of overhyping The Sopranos . I just recently wrote that The Sopranos is the best TV show ever. So please don't think for a second that I don't want to hear your theories. I have always counted on you for all of that hermeneutics and semiotics and dianetics and other really dope Lingua Franca shit. It's just that I fear that too much in the way of high-end yammering about The Sopranos and its profound meaning will cause a backlash against the show. Expectations are just too ridiculously high (i.e., the comparison to Alexander Nevsky in the Times , etc.). I think the producers would have been smart to intentionally lower expectations over the past six months by leaking stories about massive attacks of writer's block on the set. And David Chase, the series' creator, should have killed off Livia Soprano (not that I don't love Nancy Marchand) when he had the chance. But more on that later. Whoa. I think I just hinted at my opinion of the new season. No way I'm showing you mine until you show me yours. Let me address your pet theories. I agree with most everything you've said (or at least, everything you said that I understood), except that I wouldn't characterize any part of Goodfellas as a "jaunty laugh-fest." I think you've got one thing exactly right: The Sopranos works so well precisely because it is understated, because it is the opposite of the operatic Godfather . Together, The Godfather and The Sopranos make up some kind of whole, but here's the fundamental difference between them: Every mobster I've ever met imagines himself a player in The Godfather . I interviewed Sammy Gravano a few weeks ago and he said as much; The Godfather invested the lives of mobsters, who are in fact seedy and boring characters, with honor and drama. But I haven't talked to a single mobster who would take Tony Soprano's life over Michael Corleone's. We're only one season into The Sopranos , so it's a bit too early to say if this particular manifestation of mob art is influencing mob life, but I think it's fair to say that no one in actual organized crime would ever want to be hooked up with Tony Soprano's crew. In a way, I think I've just answered the interesting question you've posed, namely, how realistic is The Sopranos ? Very, I'd say. Not being an actual mobster (to my everlasting regret), my assessment might be worth bupkus (as the hysterical Silvio Dante would say), but The Sopranos accurately captures the desperation of today's mobsters. The smarter wise guys know that they are the track-suit-wearing equivalents of one of those prehistoric tribes living in the Orinoco River Basin, just waiting for extinction. I was talking to David Chase a couple of weeks ago (am I just the most insufferable mob-related name-dropper, or what?), and we got to talking about his use of humor. What Chase evidently realized (and what Coppola didn't, Clemenza aside) is that real-life mobsters can be quite funny--self-consciously funny--in a non slapsticky, non- Analyze This , sort of way. Knowing this makes The Sopranos seem real to me. Today's mobsters, too, are fluent in psychobabble and in the language of self-improvement, and Chase, of course, captures this beautifully (I will disagree with you on one thing at the outset: the writing on The Sopranos is better than the acting, not that there's anything really wrong with the acting.) By the way, can we also talk about how badly Analyze This sucked? I'm going to sign off for the moment, but first I wanted to tell you I think you ought to have a mob moniker, at least for the week. How about Judith "Little Herring" Shulevitz? Also, a question, for your consideration: Do you think mob movies are dead? The genre's tired, obviously, but is The Sopranos a sign of new life? Also, tell me what you think of the new season already. Inquiring minds want to know. Jeff "Fuckin' Mook" Goldberg Luce Change Yes, the GOP presidential candidates debated again last night, and yes, a Florida judge at least momentarily delayed the return of Elin Gonzlez to Cuba, and yes, the Supreme Court says Microsoft has to let its temp workers in on its good-deal stock purchase plan, but everybody leads with yesterday's surprise announcement of AOL's purchase of Time Warner, the first acquisition of an old media company (co-founded 75 years ago by Henry Luce) by a new media one (only 15 years old), the largest media merger of all time, and indeed, the just-plain largest merger of all time. Although there isn't complete agreement about how large: The Washington Post says the purchase value of the stock is $183 billion. The New York Times says $165 billion. The Los Angeles Times says $163 billion. USA Today says $160 billion. And the Wall Street Journal says $156 billion. The NYT says the deal will produce the fourth-most-valuable company in the country, one with a stock market value "roughly equal to the gross domestic product of Mexico." (Next week's big story: "AOL TIME WARNER DOUBLES SIZE, ACQUIRES MEXICO.") The coverage agrees on the basic logic of the deal: In one swell foop, TW gets a tremendous Internet presence for marketing, for instance, its books and CDs; AOL gets a wide range of content in the form of TW's many media properties, ranging from HBO to CNN to Time magazine; and AOL goes from having no broadband capability to being positioned to go into computers in the homes wired by the nation's No. 2 high-speed cable provider, Road Runner, which TW is the half-owner of. The papers say that there now will be a spate of other old-new media merger deals, so that rival companies can compete against this newly integrated juggernaut. The WP points out that AOL has only one-fifth the revenue of TW, but it was able to handle the deal because it has four times as much profit and a much higher stock value. The papers all reflect a sense that nonetheless it was surprising to think that the young company was buying the old one instead of vice versa. As is typical of press coverage of mergers, breathlessness is the order of the day. The LAT runs at least eight stories on the deal, the NYT at least 12. USAT goes with special reports in each of its four sections. Its front-page "cover story" compares the deal to the American colonies' defeat of the British. The LAT seems completely out of step when it bothers to point out that because of the debt the new company will take on to seal the deal, it could be decades before it reports a profit. Several papers take a crack at turning the spreadsheet into a novel, centering on the characters of AOL's Steve Case, who will be the chairman of the new company and TW's Gerald Levin, who will be its CEO, with the WP putting the most effort into it. The Post 's tale includes Levin's decision-making "walk in the woods" and the code words and letters used to keep doings confidential. Case gets the papers' instant cult of personality treatment: Everybody notes that he likes casual clothes (although he wore a suit to the press conference and it was Levin who showed up all caj and tieless) and used to be a Pizza Hut topping designer. Today's expert on a stick is one Robert McChesney, a professor at the University of Illinois and the author of a book about media mergers. He's quoted in two different WP front-pagers and by the LAT . Although to be fair, if he weren't quoted there would hardly be any doubts raised in the dailies at all about the wonderful wonderfullitude of it all. He thinks the deal is bad for freedom of expression. The WP 's media reporter Howard Kurtz also takes a crack at the threat the deal poses to independent journalism, creating as it does more financial relationships between reporters and institutions they might be covering. His column ends with the credit line: "Howard Kurtz appears on CNN's weekly media program." Bradley Gives Gore the Willies ( Editor's note : Because of technical problems, "Today's Papers" was posted late. Our apologies.) The Los Angeles Times leads with Alan Greenspan's comment in a speech Thursday that nudging interest rates further upward is necessary to control the temperature of an economy overheated by soaring stock prices. The paper also notes that just hours before Greenspan spoke, President Clinton, in an appearance at the New York Stock Exchange, said that dangerous inflation didn't seem to be a threat to this economy. No other paper fronts the story, although the Wall Street Journal puts it high up in its front-page financial news index. USA Today goes with Bill Gates' announcement that, while remaining chairman of Microsoft, he's handing over CEO duties to long-time associate Steve Ballmer. Gates says that he will spend almost all his time focused on the company's software strategy. The paper says Ballmer might "put a kinder, gentler face on the company" during its antitrust settlement talks with the government, but then quotes his assessment of any government breakup of the company: "absolutely reckless and irresponsible." The LAT (which high up strongly suggests that Gates will remain the de facto leader of Microsoft) and Washington Post front the story, and the WSJ puts it atop its financial news index , while the New York Times puts it inside. The NYT leads with the latest in a story the paper has pretty much owned: the battle between the White House and drug companies over whether or not Medicare should cover prescription drugs. The paper explains that companies have long expressed the fear that coverage would lead to government price-setting on the bulk of their sales. Today's installment: Two top drug pharmaceutical executives now say they could accept the coverage. The Times suggests that they are trying to head off a full-on Clinton administration depiction as price-gougers. The WP goes with the very rare sports lead: The NBA Washington Wizards have reached an agreement in principle to give Michael Jordan complete control of the team's front office, including all trades, signings, draft selections, and all other personnel decisions. The main remaining fill-in is how much equity in the franchise Jordan will get. A striking defect in the story: no mention of whether or not Jordan is buying that equity share or being given it or what his other compensation would be. The story says Jordan is not considering a comeback as part of the arrangement. The LAT and NYT front and the WSJ reefers the revelation that under a little-known federal program, the government drug control office has been getting advanced looks at scripts for primetime TV shows and making suggestions for changes that send an anti-drug message. Some of the changes have been accepted by producers. Under an agreement with the government, such in-story messages allowed the networks to make more money selling ads because they then don't have to run as many anti-drug public service announcements. The story was broken by Salon , a fact that the papers report on with varying degrees of candor: The LAT comes clean in the second paragraph and the WSJ in the fourth, but the NYT holds off until the seventh. Citing a story in Thursday's Boston Herald , the LAT fronts and the WP goes inside with Bill Bradley's decision, with 10 days to go until the Iowa caucuses, to hit Al Gore for introducing the racially explosive Willie Horton issue against Michael Dukakis during Gore's 1988 presidential primary bid. The controversy was later used against Dukakis to great effect by George Bush. Both papers point out that Bradley had previously been eschewing scorched-earth politics. The Post reports on the novel spin tactics being used by the Gore and Bradley camps: The Gore campaign responded by giving out Michael Dukakis' phone number, and Dukakis is quoted saying Bradley's charge is "nonsense" because the Horton case was already well-known in New England. The Bradleyites released the number of Dukakis' campaign manager, Susan Estrich, who is quoted saying the Dukakis campaign was indeed surprised by Gore's raising Horton. Everybody goes inside with a fresh shift in the demographics of AIDS: The majority of gay men being diagnosed with the disease are now either black or Hispanic. USAT 's front-page "snapshot" shows how Americans rank various high-profile crimes for qualification as the "Crime of the Century." According to the paper the No. 1 contender is the JFK assassination. Yet another sign of boomer myopia: Not even making the list is the Lindbergh kidnapping or the theft of the U.S.' atom bomb secrets. The WSJ "Washington Wire" reports that ex-Clinton Press Secretary Mike McCurry introduced a conference speaker the other day as having served in "the first Bush administration." The NYT runs an op-ed today that says the real reason not to like the AOL-Time Warner deal and its ilk is that mergers inherently dilute the quality of journalism. Of course, as the piece points out, two heads aren't guaranteed to be better than one. But this is a plausible possibility isn't it? After all, this piece has a co-byline; it's by media bigfeet Tom Rosenstiel and Bill Kovach. If they're absolutely right, then why didn't they write better separate articles instead? Moomba Mania I hate to say it, but I missed the New York Daily News today. I love the Daily News , especially the gossip page. I have two goals in life: 1) Make millions by launching a Web site called "getkidssmoking.com" (got the idea this morning after discussing the whole smoking TV show thing with you), and 2) see my name in boldface on the gossip page of the News . I think goal No. 1 is no problem, but No. 2 seems to be out of reach. Unfortunately, I'm neither rich nor famous, don't date a heroin-addicted supermodel (or non-heroin addicted supermodel, for that matter), and I've never been to Moomba. I don't even know where Moomba is. In fact, I'm not even sure what Moomba is. I think it's either a restaurant or some sort of pet-supply store. I'll have to get back to you on that one. Instead of reading the Daily News , I went to the gym and read Entertainment Weekly 's Y2K preview issue. (Full disclosure: EW is owned by Time Warner, which, as you pointed out, also owns our respective publications MAD and Fortune and, since the announcement of the AOL merger, is now in direct competition with Microsoft [publisher of Slate ], which is sort of in competition with Apple, which made the computer I'm typing on now.) Anyway, best I can tell, EW claims this is the year for us to finally see some hot, new young stars have breakout performances, for some familiar faces to turn up in surprising roles, for a few unlikely onscreen couplings and more Matt Damon that anyone deserves. And I, for one, can't wait! Hey, now that you're in town, give me a call. We'll go to Moomba. Cyber-Liberty Depends on the Architecture Now we're getting somewhere. Richard asks, How is it that commerce can bring about a change to the liberty of the Net? How is it any different from commerce in real space? We don't ordinarily--we who are not Reds at least--say that the market in general reduces freedom. So why in cyberspace should it be any different? The answer is simple: It's the architecture, um, Richard. Richard begins his questions with Chapter 7; but I think the answers begin in Chapter 1. For the argument of the first part of my book is not that the presence of commerce on the Net by itself reduces the liberty of the Net. If the architecture of the Net remained as it was in 1995, then it wouldn't matter who uses the Net for what. My argument is that commerce is changing the architecture of the Net, and as a byproduct of that change, the freedoms of the Net will change. Commerce is bringing technologies to the Net that will reduce the initial liberties of the Net--not because commerce is evil. Nor because it is against liberty. But because the architectures that make commerce more efficient can also make control cheaper. The very architectures that make it possible to profit will make it easier to regulate. Richard pointed to some of these architectures of freedom in his first post. He said that "physical aggression against neighbors is ruled out in part by the anonymous participation that is possible online." I'm not quite sure what he imagines here, but he is appealing to a feature of the Net to make his argument: anonymity. But "anonymity" is not a natural or necessary feature of the Internet. We could just as well imagine an Internet where transactions left fingerprints. And to the extent that they did, the consequence that Richard points to would change. To the extent the Net were architected to limit, or eliminate anonymity, a certain liberty of the original Net would change as well. And this is precisely the kind of change my book describes. There is an increasing push to layer onto the Net architectures that facilitate identification and tracking. The technologies are many. I describe one technology extensively in my book--the emergence of digital certificates that will function as digital IDs. But there are any number of other examples that make very same point: emerging architectures that make tracking and identification easier. Think about "cookies." Here's an architecture (in the sense I mean the term) that was added to the Web by an innovation of Netscape Corporation. That innovation would, Netscape argued, make it easier for servers to track customers. When you contact a site, the site can deposit an entry in your cookie file that will make it possible for that site to gather data about you in the future. That change stripped away a certain amount of anonymity on the Net. Now servers could watch where you browse; they could watch pages you skip to; they could know something they didn't before. And all this because of a change in the architecture. The point is not that cookies do no good. I love the fact that Amazon knows who I am and can recommend books to me when I come to their home page (they've yet to recommend my book to me, but I'm sure they'll get around to that soon enough). But the point is that the freedom that there was has been changed by a change in the architecture. Sites now get data for free, because the architecture makes it possible. But more important changes are just around the corner. For example: One of the fundamental architectural principles of the original Internet was the principle of "end-to-end." First described by network architects Jerome Saltzer, David P. Reed, and David Clark, end-to-end means that you keep the network stupid, and build intelligence at the "ends"--in the applications, or the users. One consequence of this design was that the network could not discriminate: So long as you followed the basic Internet protocols, the network would carry your traffic. And one consequence of this consequence of non-discrimination was that new applications could be brought to the Net, even if they displaced the dominant existing application. No one was in a position to discriminate against a new entrant, because the Net was architected to disable discrimination. Enter broadband cable, at least under the architecture initially proposed by AT&T. After acquiring as many cable companies as it could, AT&T and its affiliates are now converting the cable system so that it can carry the Internet. But they are architecting this network very differently from how the original Internet was architected. They are architecting it so that the network owner gets to choose the Internet service provider that you get your broadband Internet service from. And because the architecture allows AT&T to choose, it allows AT&T to control how "its" network gets used. If it doesn't want you to stream video through your computer (a possible future with broadband) because that competes with streaming video to your television set (the past with cable), it now has the power to discriminate. And it has that power because its network has been architected to give it that power. It has been architected, that is, to be different from the principle of non-discrimination in the original Net. Now, these are not issues that ivory-tower libertarians would ignore. Indeed, I can imagine as I write this Richard chafing to intervene and to say that libertarianism has lots to say to these problems. (I was Richard's colleague for six years, and student for one; I know his chafing very well.) The libertarian would talk about externalities, and about minimum regulation to avoid externalities, and about the value of common carriers, and the like. But cyber-libertarians say something different. They have been slow to defend the principles of the initial architecture against the changes that commerce would impose on that architecture. They have been slow because they have been slow to see how the Net is changing. And more important, slow to see how much of the freedom they enjoy comes not (just) from the absence of government, but also from a constitution of freedom built into the architecture of the Net. The argument of my book is that we ought to pay attention to this constitution, and to the freedoms that this initial architecture gave us. And that we ought to pay attention to the influences that are changing this architecture, and therefore changing this freedom. You wouldn't disagree with that, would you Richard? Tiananmen Square-Off The Clinton/Jiang summit is everybody's lead. A nuclear nonproliferation deal was struck, as was a deal selling American-made airliners. But what seems to make the biggest impression on the dailies was the extraordinary shoulder-to-shoulder dispute over China's human rights record between the two men at their joint press conference. Everybody reports that when Jiang defended the suppression of the Tiananmen Square protests as necessary to preserving his country's stability, Clinton stated that on human rights, China is "on the wrong side of history." The Wall Street Journal points out that Clinton was similarly forthright regarding China's trade policies, noting that he said right to Jiang's face, "Just as China can compete freely and fairly in America, so our goods and services should be able to compete freely and fairly in China." The Los Angeles Times calls the episode a "cordial but frank clash," but says the two countries have agreed not to let their continuing rights differences stand in the way of strategic and economic ties. The New York Times sees things a little more starkly, saying that the public disagreement "appeared to broaden the gulf between the two powers on human rights." Both the Washington Post and NYT report that the summit agreement for U.S. companies to sell reactors to China in return for China's stand-down from helping Iran go nuclear was immediately denounced by some members of Congress. Yet neither paper explains what Congress can do about the deal. The Journal does a little better, saying that Congress can "challenge" it within thirty days, but doesn't elaborate what form that challenge can take. Also, the Post says that the deal calls for China to "curb," and the Times says it calls for China to "abandon," its Iran nuke program, but the WSJ explains that China agreed merely not to engage in any "new" cooperative programs with Iran, but will be completing two projects already underway there. The NYT says the two leaders did, in private talks, discuss the allegations that China funneled illegal contributions in the 1996 election. But apparently Mr. Clinton did not ask where Charlie Ya Lin Trie is. The Times also reports that at the joint press conference, when Jiang was first asked about human rights, he checked his watch. And in search of clues to the exact status of the Clinton/Jiang relationship, the Times closely monitors Clinton's body language. Results: No grip of Jiang's bicep during handshake, but the leader of the free world did cop some elbow and back. The WP , NYT and USA Today each report on their fronts that Iraq has ordered all Americans working for the U.N. arms inspection team there to leave within a week. The U.S. is considering a response and discussing the situation with its allies. The WP runs a cluster of articles today dealing with various revelations from the newest batch of Nixon tapes to see the light of day. Newly exposed Oval Office Nixon no-nos include: early plans to destroy the tapes, thanking a supporter for supplying funds Nixon knew were being used as hush money for the Watergate burglars, a plot to "shakedown" the milk lobby for more campaign contributions, and various schemes to interfere with the Democratic primaries by creating spurious grassroots campaigns for Ted Kennedy and Jesse Jackson. P.J. O'Rourke has an anti-Clinton screed on the NYT op-ed page today. What's new is his reason: to rail at many of his fellow conservatives for drifting away from discussing the realities of the Clinton administration in favor of indulging in wacky conspiracy theories about Bill and Hillary. The WP , LAT , NYT and USAT all have front-pagers on the Clinton administration's decision to allow respondents to racial and ethnic category questions on federal forms to, for the first time ever, check more than one block (the alternative of having a separate "multiracial" box was rejected). If you feel the proliferation of such questions promotes Balkanization, the decision now gives you a legal way to fight back: Just check them all . Weatherbox: Call This a Blizzard? (Click here to read about the snow shenanigans of our diarist, Walter Shapiro.) Among the duties of this column is to put weather events that cause momentary media alarm into historical perspective. (See last summer's heat-wave-inspired "Weatherbox" and "Weatherbox: Part II.") Yesterday, a "fast-developing storm hit almost the entire eastern seaboard, leaving cities, towns, farms and mountains from Georgia to Massachusetts blanketed with the heaviest snowfall since a blizzard four years ago," according to today's Washington Post . Chatterbox, who lives in D.C.--a place that's routinely paralyzed by snow flurries--isn't denying that the snowstorm was disruptive. It was even more impressive in Raleigh, N.C., where the 20 inches of snow that fell set a local record. As usual, however, Chatterbox feels impatient with the provincialism of local records and asks: What's the most snow that's ever fallen, anywhere ? This data isn't as easy to keep track of as temperature extremes, partly because snow melts and drifts and does all sorts of other things that make it difficult to measure, and partly because the world's extreme snowfalls tend to occur at very high elevations where there aren't a lot of climatologists hanging around. However , Mount Baker, in Washington state, appears to have been certified by the Commerce Department's National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration as setting a record last year for "the most snowfall ever measured in the United States [Chatterbox presumes that means the continental United States] in a single season." This occurred during the snowfall season that stretched from autumn 1998 through spring 1999. The snowfall amount was 1,140 inches of snow. (The previous record was 1,122 inches, which fell on Mount Rainier, Wash., in the 1971-72 season.) Fully 36 inches fell on Mount Baker on Dec. 2, 1998. During the months of January and February 1999, there were only eight days when it didn't snow. It even snowed a couple of inches on June 5, 1999. Now that's a lot of snow. This information must, of course, be placed in context. In most places, heavy snowfalls are considered a troublesome (albeit picturesque) natural phenomenon. In places that depend heavily on revenues from ski resorts, like Mount Baker, heavy snowfalls are considered manna from heaven. Chatterbox doesn't mean to suggest for a minute that the misery of Durham, N.C., when it snows there, is in any way preferable to the jubilation in Mount Baker, Wash. Moreover, the very fact that Mount Baker is a place where people pray for heavy snowfalls makes it likelier that the locals will collect potentially record-setting data more energetically than people in other places. Surely this skews the data, even assuming Mount Baker is scrupulously honest in its record-keeping. Nonetheless : The quantity of snow that fell on the eastern seaboard this week was a pittance compared with the quantity that fell last season on Mount Baker. Jefferson: Declaration of Dependents USA Today leads with last night's Democratic and Republican New Hampshire debates, which it describes as "personal and combative." The debates also top the Wall Street Journal front-page news box. The New York Times goes with an exclusive: the belief of American investigators that there are some people (one of whom is now in custody in Senegal) who are connected to both Osama Bin Laden and to the Algerians arrested late last year apparently in the midst of carrying out one or more bomb plots against targets in the U.S. The Washington Post leads with the Labor Department's definitive position on the issue of what sort of home work activities must comply with federal workplace health and safety regulations, a position taken after the Labor Department first said all such activities were covered and then later said in effect, never mind. The new rule: Ordinary white-collar work in a household is not covered, but hazardous manufacturing work there is. The Los Angeles Times leads with the latest in the city's mushrooming police scandal: The LAPD chief's call for the quick dismissal of the cases against 99 people in which the arrests were based on officers' documented illegal activity, ranging from lying to unprovoked shooting. At least three of those people are in jail right now. USAT 's lead includes new New Hampshire polling that finds John McCain leading George W. Bush 43 percent to 36 percent and Al Gore ahead of Bill Bradley 53 percent to 44 percent. The story states the margin of error (4 percent for the Republicans, 5 percent for the Democrats) but forgets to tell the size of the sample. The NYT reports that some pollsters have gotten together to form a Polling Review Board that will monitor and discuss the flood of political polls expected during the upcoming election season. One focus of the organization will be scrutinizing and debunking online polls. The headlines over the papers' debate stories suggest that the press can detect sub-atomic levels of emotion. "Two Democrats Fire Broadsides in Testy Debate," says the NYT . "Sparks Fly in Two Candidate Debates," says the LAT . The WP , NYT , and LAT front yesterday's meeting in Miami of Elin Gonzlez with his Cuban grandmothers. USAT puts it inside. But all the papers front a picture of the boy. The NYT 's pic shows him smiling. The picture used by both USAT and the Post has him looking positively exuberant, making what looks like a peace sign with each hand, although, let's face it, at that age, it's probably bunny ears. The LAT , on the other hand, runs a shot of him looking glum. USAT fronts, and the other papers stuff, the finding announced yesterday by the foundation that maintains Thomas Jefferson's home and the preponderance of documentary materials relating to him, that, yes, he almost surely fathered one of his slave Sally Hemings' six children and probably all six of them. The WP reports that the Department of Energy has admitted that nearly 15,000 pages about U.S. nuclear weapon designs in the 1950s and '60s were mistakenly declassified and that on at least one occasion were accessed by an outside researcher. But the outside researcher was not apparently a Post reporter--the story doesn't say when the papers were released nor who got a look at them. A letter to the NYT observes that Bill Bradley is demonstrating good sense in at least one concrete area: He's been wearing a hat while campaigning in New Hampshire, while, judging by newspaper pictures, Al Gore and George W. Bush seem to go hatless there. Today's Papers has a suggestion for pool reporters scratching their heads about what to ask the front-runners: "Sir, you say you're willing to do the right thing even if it makes you look bad in the media. How can we believe that when, even in freezing weather, to look good you won't wear a hat?" Race Ipsa Loquitur USA Today and the Washington Post lead with the dust-up over the expulsion by Iraq of some American members of a weapons inspection team. The Los Angeles Times leads with more bad news about the IRS. The New York Times metro edition leads with President Clinton stumping in NYC with the Democratic mayoral candidate and then in New Jersey with the Democratic gubernatorial candidate. The NYT national edition leads with a story you could be excused for not worrying about--White House and Congressional plans for spending all those future federal budget surpluses. The Times front has a truly spectacular color shot of runners in the NYC marathon going over the Verrazano-Narrows bridge in the rain. Both the USAT and WP accounts of the Iraq situation emphasize that congressional Democrats and Republicans and the White House are all on the same page: if the U.N. can't negotiate Iraq into reversing itself, then it's ass-kicking time. The NYT front-page piece on this quotes the explanation proffered for Iraq's behavior by the Australian head of the weapons inspection team: namely, that Iraq is probably still in the biological and chemical weapons business. The LAT lead reports that an IRS internal audit found that the IRS's focus on disseminating as much information as possible to taxpayers via phone has resulted in serious breaches of confidentiality. A team of the agency's auditors operated a sting this year that established that callers could easily obtain income data on other taxpayers using only name, address and Social Security Number. The auditors tried this in 109 calls and got improper information in 96 of them. Yesterday the NYT charted its own course and ignored Jiang's oblique remark at Harvard about "mistakes" his government has made. But today in its front-page piece on what Jiang accomplished with his U.S. trip (a lot: he got planes and nuke equipment, and looked good here and back home), the Times plays catch up, now likewise seeing the remark as significant. A Wall Street Journal "Politics and Policy" piece makes the point that cultural exchange between the U.S. and China is wreaking bigger changes back there than could ever be arrived at via summitry. In the past decade, the Journal reports, China has sent a quarter of a million students to study in the U.S. The 100,000 or so who have returned have brought back "impressions of an open society, a thriving market economy, the rule of law and the role of minority rights." The NYT front reports that a growing number of scientists and policy makers now say it will be difficult if not impossible to avoid doubling the amount of heat-trapping gasses in the atmosphere before the greenhouse problem is brought under control, which could mean anywhere from a three- to eight-degree increase in the earth's temperature. The USAT front section cover story states that a new poll of teenagers shows that 57 percent of them say they've dated someone of another race or ethnic group. This up from just 17 percent in 1980. And another 30 percent who haven't dated inter-racially say they have no objection to doing so. That LAT IRS story contains the following explanation: "Outside experts warn, however, that business conducted over the telephone is generally less secure than by mail." For this, we needed an outside expert? Weekend Cocktail Chatter Alan Greenspan appeared Wednesday in front of the Senate committee that's voting on his renomination as Fed chair, and he turned in a bravura performance. Of course, it's probably easier to turn in bravura performances when you know that everyone in the room listening to you believes that you are a true Zen master. Nonetheless, Greenspan was surprisingly interesting on subjects like European hostility to genetically modified food and the persistent anxiety that many American workers feel in the face of technological change. He also remained definitively non-committal on the question of where, exactly, we are on the curve of that technological change, keeping open the possibility that there may still be many years ahead of rapid economic growth propelled by rapid improvements in productivity. Of course, as always when Greenspan appears before Congress, it was fun to watch the senators try to make their own dubious economic views appear to be harmonious with the Fed chair's. But Greenspan's labyrinthine speaking style serves him well in those situations. He can begin with "Well, yes, Senator" and end with an effective "so, actually, no," without ever making anyone look bad. Which is, perhaps, one definition of a Zen master. 1. "Philip Morris announced that in the last quarter, its earnings missed estimates and its revenue grew just 2 percent . So you have a company that will have to pay the government billions for the foreseeable future, that gets dragged into court (and sometimes loses) every week , and that keeps seeing the price of its key product rise because of taxes, and that's making less money than expected. It's all The Insider 's fault, no doubt." 2. "Business Week reported that among the myriad class-action lawsuits filed against Microsoft in the wake of Judge Jackson's finding is a brief claiming that Microsoft's principal place of business is Texas and another describing Microsoft as a supplier of 'generic drugs.' That brief adds that the term API stands for 'active pharmaceutical ingredient.' (It doesn't.) I'm waiting for the brief accusing Microsoft of running Area 51 and being responsible for the Roswell Incident. In that brief, API will presumably stand for 'alien probe investigation.'" 3. "Before entering into negotiations for a possible three-way deal with Warner-Lambert and American Home Products , Procter & Gamble reportedly made an unsolicited bid for razor giant Gillette. An article in TheStreet.com this week said that 'the French company' had rebuffed P&G . Well, we always thought that Boston was the Paris of Massachusetts. But who knew that it was actually the Paris of France?" 4. "The best ad for financial advice right now is one for something called the Dines Letter, which will cost you only $195 a year. At the top of the ad, in capital letters, are the words 'Buy Internets!' And James Dines, the editor of the newsletter, is called '"The Original Internet Bug " (TOIB)!' You could not make this stuff up if you tried." 5. "Merrill Lynch announced dazzling earnings in the latest quarter, propelled not only by a much-anticipated boom in its investment banking business but also by a remarkable influx of $36 billion in new assets from investors. The odd thing, of course, is that people keep pouring money into Merrill , even though its market strategists have been among the most bearish--and therefore most wrong--of any major bank in recent years. Never underestimate the power of having a bull as your corporate symbol." 6. "Latest sign that the apocalypse ... no, Y2K came and went, so this is just the latest sign that things are getting too weird : The Wall Street Journal headlined a recent article : 'Web Frenzy Sweeps Firms Selling Goods for Cleaning .' Let's pray the last word in that headline never gets changed to 'Burial.'" 7. "Ben & Jerry's ice-cream shop owners from across the country rallied this week to protest a possible takeover of Ben & Jerry's by a company that has yet to be identified. The franchisees fear that the new owner will wreck Ben & Jerry's commitment to 'social responsibility,' presumably by doing things like changing the name of Cherry Garcia to Bing Cherry Crosby and the name of Rainforest Crunch to Burn the Rainforest To the Ground Surprise." Neck and Neck All the papers lead with President Clinton's last State of the Union address. (The story also tops the Wall Street Journal 's front-page "Worldwide" box.) "Never before has our nation enjoyed, at once, so much prosperity and social progress with so little internal crisis or so few external threats," Clinton said, asserting that "the state of our union has never been stronger." Most papers note that the speech was surprisingly ambitious for a president in his last year in office. Clinton proposed new tax credits for college tuition payments (up to $10,000 per family), a $1 minimum-wage increase, a plan for Medicare to cover prescription drugs, $1 billion in tax incentives to help spur the development of vaccines for poor nations, photo licenses and safety tests for gun owners, and more than $3 billion in education spending, including $1 billion for Head Start. True to form, Clinton also triangulated some Republican issues, most notably a proposal to end the "marriage penalty" as part of a $250 billion, 10-year tax cut (about the same amount as he unsuccessfully pushed last year, the Journal notes) and a plan to encourage charitable contributions through tax incentives. At 89 minutes, the Washington Post notes, it was his longest SOU , and included five mentions of Vice President Al Gore. A WSJ /NBC News poll shows Al Gore in a statistical dead-heat with George W. Bush, the vice president's most competitive showing in two years. And he has nearly doubled his national lead over Bill Bradley, from 54 percent-32 percent in December to 64 percent -22 percent now. Bush, for his part, increased his national lead over John McCain slightly, but Gore's increased competitiveness could begin to hurt his standing in the GOP field, the Journal notes. Potential Reform Party nominee Pat Buchanan drew just 5 percent. The New York Times , Washington Post , and Los Angeles Times front an Israeli comptroller's report that Prime Minister Ehud Barak's party, One Israel, illegally channeled large donations from domestic and foreign sources through nonprofit front groups in the months leading to Barak's victory over former Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu. (The Post says the donations totaled $2.1 million out of a $22 million campaign budget; the NYT says it was only $1.2 million.) Barak pleads ignorance of his party's fund-raising details, but the comptroller's fine and initiation of a criminal investigation is expected to hurt the prime minister's credibility at home during negotiations with Syria and the Palestinians. The Post notes that one of Barak's chief fund-raisers, Tal Zilbersteiin, runs the Tel Aviv office of a political consultancy headed by former Clinton administration campaign officials Stanley Greenberg, James Carville, and Bob Shrum. Kodak moment: The Post 's Internet edition runs a marvelous photo of President Clinton, post- SOU , embracing nonogenerian Sen. Strom Thurmond, R-S.C. The president hulks over the former Dixiecrat--who, it should be noted, ran for president when Clinton was 2 years old. ... Freudian slip? At one point in his speech, the Post notes, President Clinton spoke about the "liberal" communities envisioned by Vice President Gore. He then corrected himself with "livable." The Check is in the Tail USA Today leads with the chief U.N. weapons inspector's suspicions that Iraq has been tampering with his surveillance cameras in his team's absence. The Los Angeles Times leads with the House's resounding passage of an IRS reform bill. The Washington Post leads with the meaning of Tuesday's elections. The New York Times metro edition leads with the meaning of Rudy Giuliani's election, while the paper's national lead is the soon-to-be-announced decision by major mail-order companies to start collecting sales tax from their out-of-state customers. The upshot of the camera tampering, according to USAT , is that the team leader can't verify that Iraq is not currently producing weapons of mass destruction. The WP has this story on its front page too. The LAT IRS lead calls the reform bill's passage by a 426-4 margin a "spectacular display of bipartisanship" created by last month's Senate hearings on IRS mismanagement and taxpayer abuse. The paper points out that the bill, which includes such taxpayer protections as shifting the burden of proof to the government in tax disputes and the creation of a civilian oversight board, will likely be even further strengthened by the Senate. IRS reform is on the NYT front and in the "world-wide news" box on the Wall Street Journal front, but inside at the WP . A WSJ front-page piece makes the point that while political debate about the IRS portrays it as abusing taxpayers, in the world of corporate finance, it's the IRS that's the underdog, waging a constant war against a stream of ingenious and complicated new tax dodges. The Post concludes that yesterday's Republican victories were mostly due to lavish financing, widespread social conservatism among voters, and an unwillingness, bred of the healthy economy, to dump incumbents. In light of all this, says the paper, Democrats are viewing the goals of recapturing the House and gaining parity in governorships as more difficult than ever. And according to the WP , the lesson for the Republicans is keep talking about taxes. The WP carries an AP story inside stating that the man who used the Internet last spring to accuse the Navy of shooting down TWA Flight 800 is now saying that action was "reckless and a mistake." Former JFK press secretary Pierre Salinger, who championed the accusation, has quietly backed off too. He says he still believes the government was behind the disaster, but he has told the FBI that he is no longer actively investigating. The NYT runs a story inside reporting that a U.S. intelligence official, "apparently a CIA officer," has left Austria after being caught wiretapping the phone of a North Korean diplomat. The piece goes on to point out that in the past three years, CIA officers have been caught spying in, and kicked out of, at least four other countries: Germany, France, Italy and India. The WP , USAT , the NYT , and the LAT all run front-page stories about how an NIH panel has for the first time concluded that acupuncture is an effective treatment for some kinds of pain and nausea and shows promise as a treatment for a variety of other conditions. Health experts say the decision will almost certainly lead to more patients opting for the technique and more private and government insurance paying for them to do so. The WP runs a story inside based on AP reports saying that employees of a Little Rock junkyard have made an interesting discovery in the trunk of an abandoned car: a 1982 Madison Guaranty Savings and Loan check for more than $20,000 made out to Bill Clinton. The paper points out that last year Clinton testified under oath in James McDougal's bank fraud trial that he had "never borrowed money from Madison Guaranty." The Post reports that Ken Starr has been investigating the check. Go figure: That mail-order sales tax agreement will apply to products sold over cable TV and the Internet, but not to those sold via online information providers like America Online. Still Sleazy After All These Years The showdown congressional vote today on fast track trade authority is the lead all around. The New York Times says neither side has the upper hand. The Los Angeles Times says the vote will be a "cliffhanger." The Washington Post is more pessimistic, saying that pro forces have "hit a brick wall in their attempts to muster the votes." The Times notes the strange alliances forged by the bill, such as Clinton supporters Dick Armey and a former Bush White House lobbyist, not to mention Newt Gingrich. The Times points out that many anti Democrats are mad at Clinton for his comment earlier this week suggesting that they were putting personal needs before the country's (and the paper implies that eventual presidential candidate Al Gore may ultimately pay the price for all this bad feeling). And yet much of the reportage describes how, at the eleventh hour, the White House is striving to meet those needs. Votes are being promised to the administration in return for pledges of campaign funds, and for assurances about vintners' and tobacco farmers' and peanut and citrus growers' rights, and those of cattle ranchers too. The Post notes a signal drawback of all this attention going to the last-minute pole sitters: those who took a stand early are pissed. "I should have held out for $1billion for wetlands restoration," says one such congressman. Even though the run-up to the fast-track vote probably should be the lead today, the story fits a recent LAT trend that's worth noting: on Sundays, the paper has a weakness for leads straight out of the president's Saturday radio address, no matter how un-gripping the topic. No doubt because that sure simplifies the Saturday reporting--just turn on the radio and type. Just wondering: Why didn't Bill Clinton's speech to a gay group--the first ever by a president--get on anybody's front page? (The WP puts it on p. A18.) Seymour Hersh's about-to-be-released book on John Kennedy gets plenty of ink: front page at the LAT , a front-page "reefer" to a piece inside at the NYT , and a long inside piece at the WP . The overall point of the book is familiar--the NYT headline is "Book Depicts JFK as Reckless and Immoral"--but the details and sourcing are new. Although this book was said at one point to depend crucially on the recently discredited Kennedy papers, it's apparently still plenty lurid without them. Details the papers mention include: a) The Chicago mob's help in the 1960 election was secured in a JFK-Sam Giancana face-to-face meeting arranged by JFK's father; b) Evelyn Lincoln, JFK's personal secretary, tells Hersh that she knows the West Virginia election was "bought"; c) Four ex-Secret Service agents describe the large numbers of sex partners--many of them prostitutes--ushered into the White House and hotel rooms; d) General Dynamics was able to parlay its discovery of JFK's affair with Judith Campbell Exner into a huge fighter plane contract. Hersh even pulls in Nixon, mentioning that the Kennedy-era CIA discovered he had taken a $100,000 bribe. Sleaze in high places seems to be the order of the day: the NYT runs an op-ed by historian Michael Beschloss about the pros and cons of Oval Office taping that includes a conversation between LBJ and Abe Fortas in which the married Fortas tells the president that he's out with a "beautiful lady in red" who's not his wife and that "We're doing good, and I'm going to try to do bad before the evening's over." Verdicting It Up The Terry Nichols verdict leads all around. USA Today calls the conviction on conspiracy and manslaughter counts but acquittal on 1st-degree murder charges "a surprising compromise." The New York Times calls the result "a nuanced verdict." The Los Angeles Times and the Wall Street Journal emphasize that the decision considerably lessens the likelihood that Nichols will be condemned to death. USAT says that inside the courtroom, relatives of victims "appeared crestfallen" at the news. The NYT finds them "stunned." The dailies are relentless in their programmatic use of "balancing" language to describe family reactions--"many" are angry, "some" are shocked, etc.--despite producing no family members saying the verdicts are just. Instead, when it comes to particulars, we have everybody quoting the comment of a woman whose Secret Service agent husband was killed in the Oklahoma blast: "It was a slap in the face." The reactions noted are often incisive as well as anguished. A woman who lost two small grandsons tells the NYT , "Terry Nichols and Timothy McVeigh conspired for seven months to blow up that building. That's not involuntary manslaughter. That's first-degree murder." Similarly, a woman who lost a daughter is quoted in USAT and the Washington Post saying, "He conspired to build the bomb; what the hell did they think he was going to do with it!" In the WP and NYT and USAT stories, the juxtaposition of these expressions of dissatisfaction with President Clinton's remark that the verdicts "should offer a measure of comfort" makes Clinton look particularly tin-eared. When the papers strive to make sense of the verdict, they tend to look that way too. The Times says that the manslaughter verdicts mean that the jury held that the deaths were foreseeable results of a lawful act. But what was that lawful act? The NYT doesn't say. (Surely not helping to build a bomb.) Similarly, the Times editorial on the Nichols decision ably frames the puzzle: "At first blush it seems contradictory to find that Mr. Nichols was guilty of conspiring in the bombing, a crime that seems to have required premeditation, but then not to find him guilty of first-degree, or premeditated, murder. Involuntary manslaughter usually involves recklessness but not premeditation." But then the paper trots out a dubious answer: "Still, that may be a reasonable decision in that Mr. Nichols may not have planned that the bomb be set off with the purpose of killing these agents." But what alternative purpose did he have? Not one word in all the coverage about that. The WSJ comes closest here, venturing that the jury must have accepted Nichols's defense that he had abandoned the plot before the explosion. But neither the Journal nor the other papers pass along any information that makes such a possibility plausible. The Post makes a rookie mistake in referring to the jury's "innocent" verdicts. It's "Not Guilty," not "Innocent." The NYT front carries word of a clearer resolution to another terrorism case: the conviction in France of Carlos "The Jackal"--once the world's most feared terrorist--of three murders. The Post runs this on p.8. The WSJ reports that Newt Gingrich, in an obvious bid to plug holes in the C-SPAN spring schedule (that damned yellow bus has to go in the shop for a tune-up sometime), is poised to launch investigations into White House and DNC activities that could involve fully half of the House's committees. The WP states that the University of Iowa College of Medicine reports that people who are blind, deaf or have other disabilities are 36 percent more likely to be injured on the job. The paper also reports that today's issue of JAMA contains the news that although more than 90 percent of infants don't get anesthesia when they are circumcised, they should get it because "study of infant heart rates and crying patterns during circumcision clearly showed there was pain." So, to sum up today's scientific breakthroughs: a) If you're blind avoid working in sawmills and b) Getting your brand-new knicky-knacks carved on HURTS LIKE HELL! Photo Opportunism USA Today leads with Treasury Secretary Robert Rubin's warning to Congress against counting on a federal budget surplus. The Washington Post leads with remarks by House Budget Committee Chairman John Kasich and by House Ways and Means Committee Chairman Bill Archer to the effect that expanding Medicare coverage to include younger retirees would be a mistake. The New York Times and Los Angeles Times go with the sudden threat to Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu's ruling coalition. The crux of the Israeli situation is that the Foreign Minister, David Levy, resigned on Sunday because of dissatisfaction with Netanyahu's performance on both the social welfare and Palestinian fronts. The NYT explains that the move only leaves Netanyahu with a two-vote margin in Parliament. The Times says that without Levy, Netanyahu is likely to grow more dependent on right-wing parties, and thus to become more resistant to pro-Palestinian concessions. USAT and the WP run the Israel story as their off-leads. In what is no doubt the payoff for concerted auto industry press lobbying, the Wall Street Journal , NYT , and LAT each run front-page stories about the Big Three's renewed interest in producing less-guzzling, less-polluting cars. Readers are advised to clip and save these for when the car companies howl the next time the federal government tries to lower fuel economy and emission standards. In the NYT 's story about today's opening of the Unabomber trial (run on the front in the national edition, inside in the metro edition), the point is made that the case's story of "a brother fighting to save the life of the brother he turned in" is "a tale of literary dimensions." But the Times apparently doesn't feel such an observation can stand without expert testimony, so it drags in Pulitzer Prize-winning novelist William Kennedy and a lit professor to repeat it. The WP 's Al Kamen reports that the CIA recently overlooked scads of Agency retirees it should have invited to its 50th anniversary gala. Why? Because it couldn't find them. How many alumni spooks didn't get to come in from the cold? As many as 30,000, says Kamen, but he's just guessing because "the numbers are secret." A piece inside the NYT that wonders when the downsizing trend will hit higher ed reports that between 1984 and 1994, the cost of college tuition went up about 150 percent, outpacing even medical care (111 percent). Sunday's LAT reports that over the weekend, some Latino workers in L.A. started a hunger strike on the steps of City Hall. What's the latest causa? A protest by gardeners over the city's imminent ban against gasoline-powered leaf blowers. "Unfortunately, we feel a hunger strike is the only way we can be heard," one of the strikers tells the LAT . Well no, we still can't hear you because of the... goddam leaf blowers ! Yesterday's NYT "Week in Review" included an overview of the last meals requested by men executed in Texas. One man's wish was that his final meal be given to a homeless person. Request denied. They're both clad only in bathing suits, alone on the beach. He clutches her in to him with his hand on the small of her back while she's looking up at him adoringly. The fade-out still from a new romantic movie? Or one of those magazine ads for a Caribbean getaway? No, it's the President and First Lady on the top front of the LAT . Nothing inherently wrong here, but think about it....This isn't a candid shot: there isn't an inch out of focus or a blurry branch being parted. And nary a toe being sucked anywhere. And do you think the Secret Service would let a paparazzo get even telephoto close to the First Couple in seclusion on their vacation? No, this is a genre that hasn't been so blatant since JFK and Jackie: the romantic photo-op. And what's wrong is that, like the paparazzi's click-clicking, it's the exposure of what should be an intimate family moment purely for gain, in this case, political. Inflicting privacy is as unseemly as invading privacy. Elvis Leaves the Building Finally, after a solid week, some of the big dailies lead with monographs that aren't Monicagraphs. The Washington Post leads with the indictment of Clinton intimate Charlie Trie and another Democratic Party fund-raiser--the first in connection with the Department of Justice's investigation into the 1996 campaign. (This story is the off-lead at the Los Angeles Times , but the New York Times runs it deep inside.) And the LAT goes with Madeleine Albright's pronouncement that if allies can't be convinced, the U.S. is ready to launch military strikes against Iraq on its own. Albright added that the diplomatic string is running out and reiterated the U. S. position: U.N. weapons inspectors must have unconditional access to Iraqi sites. (Elsewhere, this story doesn't get that much play either: at the NYT it only gets a reefer on the front page, below the fold.) USA Today leads with a new poll indicating the strength of President Clinton's post-scandal popular support, and the NYT goes with new details about the last White House meeting between Bill and Monica. USAT says its new poll (of 684 adults, done in concert with CNN and Gallup) shows that after his State of the Union speech, Clinton enjoys his highest approval rating ever--67 percent. The paper also reports that former White House chief of staff Leon Panetta was questioned yesterday by prosecutors. (This news is also flagged in the Wall Street Journal front-page news box and on the NYT front.) USAT also states that Starr investigators picked up evidence from a former teacher of Monica Lewinsky's, who says he had an affair with her. The paper also offers a glimpse into Monica's vie en scandale: long days sequestered in the Watergate with her mother, watching TV and talking on the phone in code. Her lawyer is quoted saying that she watched Clinton's SOTU address. "She thought he did a good job with it," he says. "She thinks he's done a good job as president. She still considers him a friend." Pursuing a thread first pulled by yesterday's LAT , the NYT and WP delve into that December 28th White House meeting between the president and his ex-intern, prompted by her concerns over a subpoena in the Paula Jones case. The Times reports Lewinsky claims that Clinton told her at the time that she could testify her visits to him at the White House were to see his secretary, and that he suggested that she could avoid testifying altogether by being in New York City. The paper goes on to point out that besides the issue of what Clinton actually said at this meeting, it would be "ethically questionable" for a defendant in a civil lawsuit merely to discuss the case with a potential witness already subpoenaed by the plaintiffs. The Times says this meeting was confirmed by a White House aide, while the Post says the White House declined to comment about it and has refused to release the relevant entry logs. The LAT front and the NYT inside report an increase in the number of applications to the University of California from blacks (up 4.9 percent) and Latinos (up 7 percent). This confounds much-publicized concerns that the school's decision to end affirmative action last year would have a chilling effect on minority applications. Dick Morris' verbal incontinence yesterday about Bill and Hillary's sex lives seems to have had immediate results. White House spokesman Mike McCurry tells the Post that, although in recent weeks Clinton would occasionally talk to Morris, "I doubt that will ever happen again." A big color shot of the president greeting an exuberant crowd of young people sits athwart the NYT lead story about the Monica meeting and astride its story about his trip yesterday to the Midwest. From just one glance, it's hard to say which story the picture goes with. In a way, it goes with both. It was in fact taken yesterday at Clinton's appearance at the University of Illinois. But it captures the very same hands-on political body chemistry apparent in those shots we've all seen by now of Bill with Monica. Indeed, of the eleven people in the photograph looking up at and/or reaching for Clinton, eight of them are women. They are all smiling at him. Roll, Jordan, Roll USA Today leads with Kofi Annan's politically-loaded cancellation of a trip to Washington. The Washington Post goes with the weekend call by several Clinton allies for Kenneth Starr to abandon his Whitewater inquiry. The New York Times leads with the first big test for the balanced budget--the pork-lined transportation bill. And the Los Angeles Times leads with another in its series of important stories on the L.A. County Sheriff's Department--this time it's news of a major bribery scheme involving food contracts for the county jail. Kofi Annan was, says USAT , to be in Washington today to meet with President Clinton and "bask in praise for ending the threat of war with Iraq." But, U.N. officials told the paper, he postponed his trip after Sen. Trent Lott, who last week harshly criticized the deal Annan brokered with Iraq, said he didn't have time to meet with him. (Idea for editors: report on Lott's schedule for this week. It would be interesting to see how many fundraisers and meetings with lobbyists he manages to fit in.) The WP lead notes that on weekend yap shows, White House advisor Rahm Emmanuel and Sen. Patrick Leahy called on Starr to wind up Whitewater, and that three Republican senators also expressed guarded criticism of him. Emmanuel stopped short of saying Starr should resign, but Leahy said, "Sure he should," adding that he is "totally out of control." The paper reports that over the weekend Arlen Specter, John McCain and Orrin Hatch each questioned Starr's calling in Sidney Blumenthal to question him in front of a grand jury about his press contacts. The idea that Starr has blown it is explored in a large piece inside the Times and was also the subject of an LAT front-pager on Sunday. The NYT notes that the transportation bill before the Senate is such a big challenge to the balanced budget because it provides goodies to every congressional district in the country. The piece points out that among those who want to make sure the bill doesn't eat into any budget surplus is Newt Gingrich. The Times also notes that the bill raises several partisan side issues that could lead to a confrontation with the White House, namely, proposals to delay new clean air regulations, scale back affirmative action hiring on highway projects, and lower wage levels for transportation project workers. The Wall Street Journal front page tells the story of how four years after the FAA announced its intent to create a $500 million system for allowing commercial aircraft to use military Global Positioning satellites for navigation, the system is nowhere near in place. In fact, says the Journal , the system might end up costing $14 billion. And the FAA would have to keep paying for the current, conventional system until every airline had switched over. Meanwhile, last year, there were 225 near-misses over the U.S., up 22 percent from the year before. The Journal also reports on the trend of professional sports teams offering player education programs in an attempt to keep their new millionaires out of trouble. The programs typically cover how to handle gamblers, groupies and...salad forks. The most elaborate example, run by baseball's Texas Rangers, even includes role-playing bimbos, and is euphemistically called the "Career Development Program." USAT 's off-lead reports that, rumors to the contrary, Vernon Jordan, who is scheduled to appear before the Starr grand jury on Tuesday, has not requested immunity from prosecution. Jordan's lawyer also told the paper there is no rift between his client and Bill Clinton. "Military rock and roll is to rock and roll as..." The WP reports that Gen. George T. Babbitt, head of the Air Force Materiel Command at Wright-Patterson Air Force Base in Dayton, Ohio, recently jammed with the Ventures, a band he helped form in the late 1950s. White House of Blues USA Today , the Washington Post , and the New York Times all lead with the latest developments in the White House sex scandal. The Los Angeles Times goes another way, leading with the latest developments in the White House money scandal (remember?). The Lewinsky matter moved Thursday on several fronts, which get covered to varying degrees. The USAT lead reports that while denying any obstruction of justice, Jordan said that he kept Bill Clinton informed about his efforts to land Monica Lewinsky a private-sector job. USAT also has the Post traumatic distress syndrome of Robert Bennett, one of Clinton's private lawyers, as well as word that Ginsburg and Starr squared off before a federal judge, but in both regards it leaves important details out. You have to read the Post to learn that Bennett not only viewed the WP deposition leak as "reckless, reprehensible and unethical" but also that he said, "We are going to seek relief in court on this...." (Apparently, Bennett didn't elaborate and the Post wasn't about to--after all, it's the WP 's source Bennett is talking about going after.) And to learn that the point of the closed hearing was so Ginsburg could try to convince a judge to make Starr abide by a preliminary agreement to extend immunity to Lewinsky in return for her testimony. Both the WP and NYT describe the wild scene outside the courthouse, mobbed with press and topped off with anti-Clinton protestors chanting, "Five-six-seven-eight! Married men don't date!" The two papers also detail Clinton's hot reaction to Thursday's Post scoop: "the court has made it absolutely clear it is illegal to leak and discuss" his deposition. Both papers report that all players in the controversy--including Ken Starr and Paula Jones' lawyers--deny leaking the depo. Also, the LAT front reports that Clinton "sternly refused" to explain Thursday why in his deposition, he said he warned Monica L. that she was likely to be called in the Jones case. The NYT lead plays catch-up on the depo story by pointing out that the deposition's heavier than anticipated focus on Lewinsky makes sense of the prior Times scoop about Betty Currie's testimony that, the day after, Clinton went over with her the facts about his relationship with the intern. The piece emphasizes how in the Clinton deposition account Currie is the central figure, even to the point where it was her idea to get Monica a gift when he went to Martha's Vineyard on vacation. The Times adds this tidbit: Clinton said in his depo that previous accusations about drug dealing and even murder had left him "paranoid." The LAT lead is the news that California campaign donor Johnny Chung, who once compared the White House to a subway, where you need coins to open the doors, will plead guilty to tax evasion, bank fraud and election law violations in an agreement with the DOJ under which he will cooperation with the Department's fund-raising investigation. The paper also reports that another big Clinton donor suspected of funneling foreign money to the Democratic Party, Yogesh Gandhi, was arrested Thursday on unrelated fraud charges as he prepared to leave the country. The WP and NYT run the Chung story on their front pages. The Wall Street Journal reports that military planners of possible airstrikes against Iraq have become less confident of the U.S. ability to bomb biological weapons sites in Iraq after a secret Air Force test in which a special bomb that was expected to incinerate a stockpile of anthrax-like germs instead spread them. While all the dailies were going front-page earlier this week with the news that hands-on basketballer Latrell Sprewell was being given his millions back, there was virtually no newsplay of his most recent escapade. It seems that on Monday, Sprewell was involved in a car accident that sent two other people to the hospital. The California Highway Patrol says Sprewell's Mercedes was traveling at "high speed" when it struck sand barrel obstacles, hit a wall and then collided with another car. Witnesses said they'd seen Sprewell speeding. Perhaps the Highway Patrol fears another arbitrator in the wings. It didn't give Sprewell a ticket. All this information comes from the only press coverage "Today's Papers" is aware of--a brief AP item on page 4 of Tuesday's LAT sports section. You know, where everyone put the news that OJ had pleaded no contest to beating his wife. Papal Bull USA Today and the Washington Post lead with the White House response to Kathleen Willey. The New York Times leads with the Vatican's official repentance regarding the mass killings of Jews during World War II. And the Los Angeles Times goes with the news that the first three University of California campuses to generate admissions statistics since the system abandoned affirmative action have seen their black and Latino acceptance rates plummet. Yesterday's White House response to Willey was primarily two-fold: a strong denial from President Clinton, and the release of a raft of friendly letters Willey sent to the White House after the date she alleges she was groped by Clinton. In one letter, widely quoted, she calls herself Clinton's "number one fan." In another, Willey asks to be appointed to an ambassadorship. The NYT says some of the letters were "effusive." And a piece inside USAT says they "do not suggest a woman who felt betrayed." (There was also the effort of Clinton's personal lawyer, Robert Bennett, noted by the NYT and USAT , to portray Willey as mercenary for trying to land a book deal.) None of the day's coverage of the Willey letters pays the slightest heed to the well-known phenomenon of even physically abused women having trouble expressing their animosity towards their abusers or physically separating from them. It's as if nobody in the entire press corps remembers that Nicole Brown Simpson moved back in with O.J. after those pictures were taken of her pummeled face. Despite the six-cylinder spin cycle, USAT says that "there was no ignoring the dark mood that settled over the White House" in Willey's wake. The paper noted a rare moment of anger by Mike McCurry, who lashed out at a reporter who asked him whether Clinton had ever received psychological treatment or counseling for risky and reckless behavior. The WP lead makes that point that when originally confronted with the Willey charges, Clinton released a statement saying that he had "no specific recollection" of meeting with her, but that his current denial is based on "a very clear memory" of the meeting. USAT notes that Ann Lewis, who spearheaded the anti-Willey counteroffensive yesterday with an appearance on the "Today" show, was a leading supporter of Anita Hill. But the Post lead puts a finer point on the matter, noting, "Democratic activists--Lewis among them--had accused Republicans of attacking the victim when they noted in the Clarence Thomas confirmation hearings in 1991 that Anita Hill had continued to stay in close touch with Thomas even after he allegedly harassed her with lewd sexual remarks." Such apparently effortless shifting by some women is called to task pointedly in the Wall Street Journal 's main "Politics and Policy" piece via a quotation from a Democratic consultant, who says, "What gets to the heart of it is that feminism is no longer a principle, it's a political tool." The NYT lead concerning the Vatican points out that while the document issued Monday is described by the Church as "an act of repentance" for the failure of Roman Catholics to deter the mass killings in Europe during the Holocaust, it skirts the issue of the Vatican's institutional shortcomings during the era, primarily its official silence about the Nazis. The document, says the paper, took 11 years to prepare, and was greeted coolly by Jewish leaders. Everybody carries the repentance story on the front page. Everybody's front page also carries word that the McKinney trial jury didn't send the former sergeant major of the Army to jail, but did bust him down one rank, a move that will cost him $10,000 a year in pension money. Also, McKinney sued his initial accuser for libel, asking $1.5 million. Meanwhile, the LAT and NYT fronts report that Defense Secretary William Cohen rejected an advisory commission's recommendation that male and female recruits be housed separately during training. The NYT runs the following correction: "Because of an editing error, an article on Feb. 26 about Manhattanites' reliance on mini-storage referred incorrectly to doves and a rabbit used in the act of Arnie Kolodner, a magician. While he keeps costumes in mini-storage, the rabbit and doves live in his home. A correction in this space on Saturday omitted mention of the rabbit." Sexual Positioning USA Today leads with Kathleen Willey's lawyer's defense of her motives in coming forward. The Washington Post leads with the apparent intention of President Clinton's lawyer in the Paula Jones case, Robert Bennett, to submit material to the trial judge today covering Jones' past sex life to rebut her claim in her previous filings that her alleged encounter with Clinton left her with an alleged "sexual aversion injury." The Post notes that not too long ago, Bennett said one of the things he would not do in this trial would be go into Jones' sexual history. The New York Times leads with the reform pledges made by China's new prime minister. And the Los Angeles Times goes with the purchase of the Los Angeles Dodgers by Rupert Murdoch. USAT reports that according to Willey's lawyer, she is "overwhelmed" by White House attempts to discredit her. Regarding the release of admiring letters she had written to Clinton after their disputed Oval Office meeting, he is quoted saying, "We don't pretend we can compete with the White House spin machine." Reports about Willey on the WP and NYT front also follow up on the story broken yesterday by the New York Daily News that prior to her "60 Minutes" appearance, she had been in discussions with a tabloid. The NYT reports that the new Chinese Prime Minister Zhu Rongji gave a press conference in which he laid down ambitious goals for sweeping social change in his country, including pledges to redesign the government and cut its staff in half, do away with subsidized housing, and make state-owned industries solvent, all within the next three years. But he also flatly ruled out, reports the Times , any reappraisal of the government's crackdown on democracy in Tiananmen Square. The press conference was strikingly Western-style, says the paper, complete with Zhu's deflection of a serious question about eventual national elections with a quip about pictures of him in Time and Newsweek . About a third of the LAT front is given over to coverage of the Dodger sale. In an unexpectedly one-sided vote, major league baseball owners approved the sale of the team by the O'Malley family to Rupert Murdoch's Fox Group, for about $311 million, the most ever paid for a sports franchise. The move makes the team part of a world-wide media empire valued at nearly $27 billion. Among those assets, points out the LAT , are broadcast and cable rights to games played by 22 of the 30 major league teams. And this is the aspect of the deal that is really different. A second LAT front-page piece states that the purchase price, almost double the going rate in baseball, is "so far out of the ballpark that it's highly unlikely the team will make money," but, the paper explains, "Murdoch sees sports team as another form of content for his sprawling television empire...." The Dodger deal is also on the front at the WP , but doesn't make the NYT front, which opts instead for a story about how George Steinbrenner has discussed the possibility of selling a piece of the Yankees. The Wall Street Journal reports that a jury in Muncie, Indiana ruled that the nation's largest cigarette makers shouldn't be held liable in the lung cancer death of a non-smoking nurse. Jurors said that cigarettes weren't a defective product and that the manufacturers weren't negligent for failing to tell people that second-hand smoke was dangerous. Both the NYT and WP fronts carry word of a new study from the Federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention showing a surprising rise in the suicide rate among black teenagers. The study's authors suggest that the surge reflects the strain black families feel in transitioning to the middle class. One odd detail: black teenagers are much more likely than white teenagers to kill themselves in the presence of somebody else. The general degree of personality-, sports- and money-euphoria surrounding the Murdoch Dodger buy is well illustrated by the LAT front-page effusions of L.A. mayor Richard Riordan who is quoted saying, "I've never met anybody whose focus is better....He pays the same attention to the waiter as he does to the most important person in the room." Isn't that the opposite of focus? The Senate Butts In USA Today and the Washington Post lead with the new tobacco settlement bill taking shape in the Senate. The New York Times leads with the endorsement by House Republican leaders of new tax breaks to help people who must buy their own health insurance. The Los Angeles Times goes with the general split inside Republican ranks over whether or not tax cuts should be part of this year's budget. The story notes that the current proposed House budget includes tax cuts totaling $60 billion, compared to the $350 billion worth of cuts called for in the Contract with America. USAT reports that the proposed tobacco bill would raise the price of a pack of cigarettes by $1.10 and would cost cigarette companies more than half a trillion dollars--a considerable increase over the $365 billion agreed to in the proposed settlement reached last summer between the attorneys general of 40 states and the leading tobacco manufacturers. Like that settlement, the Senate bill aims to reduce underage smoking, regulate nicotine as a drug and alter the tone and reach of tobacco advertising. It also includes a payout to tobacco farmers as compensation for lost income. The WP states, "Both the tobacco industry and public health advocates assailed the bill from opposite directions: The industry called its price-tag 'unrealistic and onerous' while public health advocates said it was too weak on the key issue of cutting underage smoking." Yet, USAT says, "tobacco industry spokesmen declined public comment." Also, it's very odd to talk about the reaction of the "industry" and "public health advocates" so broadly. Neither are monoliths. So, why no for-attribution quotes in the Post account here? The Post does explain one nuance USAT overlooks: whether that $1.10 per pack surcharge specified in the bill will actually raise cigarette prices enough to significantly reduce cigarette purchases. By the way, the NYT states the Republicans plan to pay for their health insurance initiative with revenue raised from higher cigarette taxes, with or without the passage of a comprehensive tobacco settlement. The Wall Street Journal presents the "Award for Environmental Lunacy" to the Michigan bureaucrat who sent a letter to a landowner last December threatening him with "enforcement action" for "unauthorized" and "hazardous" dam-building on his property. The landowner responded by pointing out that the dams were built by...beavers. The Journal 's main "Politics and Policy" piece notes a signal consequence of the absorption of the White House staff in the Clinton sex scandals: the further empowerment of his Cabinet officers. Especially true, says the paper, for Treasury Secretary Robert Rubin and his deputy, Lawrence Summers, Budget Director Frank Raines, Secretary of State Madeleine Albright, and Defense Secretary William Cohen. The WP runs a front-page piece noting that the NCAA is very worried about the fallout from the point-shaving indictment last week of two former Northwestern basketball players. The amount of money bet legally in Nevada on this year's basketball tournament, says the Post , exceeds the amount bet there on the Super Bowl, and the FBI says close to $2.5 billion is bet on it illegally. Gee, maybe, the situation would improve if newspapers didn't print point-spreads. Meanwhile, the NYT front is concerned with another, er, sport. The Times takes note of the latest developments in professional wrestling: more sexual content, coarser language, and no more Good Guys. This apparently produced an existential crisis on 43rd St.: "Now, there is no obvious moral center: everything is basically bad and worse." Thank God, there's Brendan Maguire, a professor of sociology at Western Illinois University specializing in wrestling, for these troubled Times to quote. Over the weekend, "Titanic" director James "King of the World" Cameron began exercising the perks of his new office by writing a piece in the LAT in which he tried to fire the paper's lead film critic, author of two scathing reviews of the iceberg epic. "Forget about Clinton," the director wrote, "How do we impeach Kenneth Turan?" Emerging Measures The Citicorp and Travelers Group deal--the largest corporate merger ever--is everybody's lead. Associated business and policy and personality stories take up much of the rest of the day's news hole. The resulting insurance, banking and securities company will be called Citigroup (narrowly edging out Travelerscorp, Groupcorp, Corpgroup, Corptravelers, and Groupciti, we hear) and will become the fifth largest American corporation. The newspapers' accounts of the size of the deal vary somewhat: the New York Times says it's $70 billion, the Washington Post says $82 billion. USA Today , the Los Angeles Times and Wall Street Journal say it's $83 billion. The NYT figure apparently doesn't take into account the increase in the companies' shares during the Wall St. explosion--the Dow closed over 9000 for the first time ever--the deal touched off. The papers report that the new financial services company will offer "one-stop shopping" for consumers and corporations. The NYT and WP are somewhat breathless about the possibility, but the LAT says it's not at all clear that consumers want this, noting that previous efforts to offer it have "generally failed." The WSJ elaborates, pointing out that previous high-profile attempts by American Express and Sears to cross-pollinate with Wall St. partners failed. In addition, notes the Journal , creating a huge full-service financial edifice flies in the face of the trend toward discount brokerage firms and cheap on-line trading. The dailies emphasize that the most striking part of the deal is that current laws, in force since the Depression, prevent financial cross-selling on this scale. The deal boldly challenges all this, says the WP , putting pressure on Congress and regulators to change the status quo, in the next five years before the deal goes into full effect. The NYT calls this feature remarkable "brashness," and the LAT says it is its "most remarkable aspect." Another pressure factor is that it's widely believed this merger will inspire other similar ones. Another unusual aspect of the deal drawing lots of comment is that Travelers' Sanford Weill and Citicorp's John Reed have decided to rule their new kingdom as co-CEOs. A piece on the USAT "Money" front page says experts are dubious about the arrangement. The WSJ wonders if the two men can "merge their egos." And the NYT business section piece on the relationship runs under the header, "The Odd Couple." Weill and Reed are quoted as saying the merger will not produce large-scale layoffs. But, notes the WSJ , layoffs of over 1,000 employees followed each of Weill's previous big deals. As has become common in merger reporting, some of the papers attempt to cloak the event in intrigue and drama. The Journal and the NYT try to summon atmosphere with their descriptions of early meetings where the top dogs sniffed each other. And the WP says "the excitement was palpable" during Monday's news conference at the Waldorf announcing the merger, with the arrival of Weill and Reed reminding the paper of nothing so much as "the arrival of movie stars at the Academy Awards." But the excitement is not infectious: after all, what you have here basically is suits writing checks to themselves. Indeed, the only real corrective to all the day's money euphoria comes in the WP front-page piece, "Boom Is Fine--If You Own Stock," which notes that six of every ten American households still do not own any shares of anything. The LAT front reports that the California Supreme Court handed a defeat to unwed fathers with its ruling Monday that a man who fathers a child with a women who is married to someone else may be denied all legal parental rights. As the paper points out, this is significant in a state where a third of the children are born to couples who are not married to each other. If you missed the two top stories in yesterday's USAT --the government's first post-deregulation attempt to preserve competitiveness among airlines and the emergence of a drug that can prevent breast cancer--they are on the NYT 's front today. The WP runs a piece inside reporting that during a church service last Sunday, Cardinal John O'Connor of New York criticized President Clinton from the pulpit for taking Catholic communion while in South Africa. The South African priest who invited Clinton to do so is quoted in the paper as saying that once Clinton stood up, he was thinking about "how much embarrassment it would have caused him by my saying, please sit down." Novelist Lucian Truscott IV, a former Army officer and son and grandson of generals, writes a NYT op-ed in support of the Clinton administration's latest assault weapons ban. Truscott compares the intensive training you get in the Army with one of these weapons long before you're ever allowed to fire it, and then only under the supervision of an expert marksman, with the situation in states like Arkansas, where "it's legal for a 10-year-old to own a semiautomatic assault weapon without a moment of safety instruction, training in how to shoot it or adult supervision." Softwar The two antitrust lawsuits filed against Microsoft by the Justice Department and twenty states lead at the New York Times , Los Angeles Times , and Washington Post . The suits are also flagged at the top of the Wall Street Journal front-page news box. They are the off-lead at USA Today (and also covered in that paper's front-page "cover story"), which leads instead with the news that in working out the $200 billion highway bill, congressional negotiators dropped the provision that would have set a tough national drunk-driving standard. The papers all have the same basic lawsuit details: The government and state lawyers argue that after an abortive attempt at an "illegal conspiracy" deal with browser rival Netscape, Microsoft violated antitrust laws by using its virtual lock with Windows to dominate the Internet browser market. Although Microsoft has already begun shipping Windows 98, the plaintiffs have asked a judge to issue a quick preliminary injunction requiring the company to either take its own browser out of that program or also include Netscape's browser. And preventing Microsoft from enforcing contracts with online service providers that would restrict the providers from also offering their customers alternative browsers. (An area, says the NYT , that MS was apparently flexible about before negotiations broke down over the weekend.) The state suit additionally asks for Microsoft to be forced to change the way it sells its "Office" software to computer manufacturers so that they would be freer to license competitors' software. Bill Gates is quoted in the WP saying that these government demands for inclusion of competitors is like "requiring Coca-Cola to include three cans of Pepsi in every six-pack." The NYT lead editorial says the analogy is bad because Coke isn't a monopoly. The government's papers include Microsoft internal e-mails and memos as well as interviews and depositions of Microsoft executives, which, USAT says, the government attorneys consider smoking-gun evidence. The WP cites for instance a memo that says it would "be very hard to increase browser share on the merits" of the company's product, and hence that the company should "leverage Windows to make people use" it. But none of the dailies explain how these internal documents came to be possessed by the government nor wonder about the propriety of that. Also, although the WP and NYT list the states suing, there is no explanation anywhere about what point there is for the states to file their own suit, or why the other thirty states are staying on the sidelines. Most of the coverage is steeped in the particulars of the memos, etc. The LAT however, takes a somewhat broader view. It calls the move against Microsoft, "one of the sharpest legal attacks on big business in this century," and accompanies its lead with an interesting graphic depicting the relative market shares enjoyed by American history's other celebrated anti-trust targets, IBM, AT&T, and Standard Oil. IBM's is listed at 65 percent, but the other two are the same as Microsoft: 90 percent. The LAT says that although fewer than half of Americans own a home personal computer and fewer still surf the Internet, the suit could throw the computer industry and the economy into turmoil. The LAT off-lead reports that three Mexican banks and 107 people were indicted yesterday in Los Angeles by the U.S. on charges of laundering millions for Latin American drug cartels. The story is also on the WP front, while the NYT runs it inside. The WSJ and the WP report that Kodak is set to announce a deal with AOL designed help the film manufacturer counteract inroads on its business being made by computerized photography: You bring your film into a Kodak authorized developer and the snaps are returned digitally to your AOL account. The program will be called "You've Got Pictures." The NYT profile of San Francisco Examiner executive editor Phil Bronstein quotes his wife Sharon Stone thusly: "He's big enough for me...for my intense personality, my stature in the world." Bank Shot The New York Times national edition leads with the U.S.-driven delay of World Bank loans to India in response to its recent A-bomb tests. The Washington Post leads with the reduction of the American military presence in the Persian Gulf. The Los Angeles Times goes with the Supreme Court's unanimous ruling that police are generally shielded from liability for deaths or injuries caused by their high-speed pursuits. (The WP and NYT carry this story inside.) USA Today leads with the disparate treatments various tobacco products receive under the bill now pending in the Senate. For instance, it restricts the advertising and marketing of cigarettes, but not that of cigars or pipe tobacco. As a result, some health advocates are concerned, says the paper, that the bill won't discourage overall tobacco use, but would only redirect it. The NYT points out that the World Bank's action to stop loans for an electrical power grid not only hits India--a country frequently affected by power failures and shortages--hard, but also serves as a signal to Pakistan about what sorts of sanctions it can expect if it responds to India with a nuclear test of its own. (The paper reports that the CIA told the White House on Tuesday that Pakistan could detonate an underground nuke at any time.) The threat of more sanctions has already sent India's currency plunging to an all-time low against the dollar. Japan, says the Times , also sought the loan action. Defense Secretary William Cohen announced that U.S. military forces in the Gulf region had begun drawing down to pre-Iraqi-crisis levels because of Baghdad's assurances of cooperation with U.N. weapons inspectors and to help improve military readiness and morale. Another factor: domestic political pressures inside such host countries as Bahrain. The LAT reports that the Court decision even protects police who act recklessly in conducting pursuits. Because, say the Justices, the decision to pursue is often necessarily a split-second one, and violates no one's constitutional rights. The story observes that about the same number of people--300--are killed every year in police chases as in police shootings, which of course makes "Today's Papers" wonder why the law should treat reckless police driving differently than reckless police shooting. After all, the decision to shoot is usually just as split-second. The WP 's front reports that as part of Ken Starr's effort to methodically reconstruct the details of Monica Lewinsky's life that she communicated to her erstwhile friend Linda Tripp, Lewinsky has been asked to provide fingerprints and a handwriting sample to investigators today. Is there an end in sight for Starr's investigation? Well, the Post says he is looking to expand his office space. The Wall Street Journal reports that in a phone campaign undertaken against California Prop. 226, the union dues "paycheck protection" measure, a Florida telemarketing firm claimed that the initiative would imperil cops by leading to the disclosure of their home addresses, with the result that they would become targets for gang members. The Journal observes that 226 only requires a name, signature, and employer's identification for the approval of union dues for political purposes, not an address. The USAT front brings word that based on phone surveillance, police in five European countries detained more than 80 Islamic militants suspected of planning to disrupt the World Cup soccer matches, scheduled to start next month in ten French cities. The story is carried inside elsewhere. The NYT front and the WP inside run stories reporting that a government panel has hesitantly approved a vaccine against Lyme disease. The main sources of reluctance are that nobody knows how many shots are needed nor if the vaccine is safe for people with arthritis or undiagnosed Lyme disease. The stories are lacking in context. The WP says that the tick-spread flu-mimicking disease is "a serious threat" in parts of the country, and the NYT national edition mentions in the sixth paragraph that the latest government statistics show 16,000 cases annually. (The version of the story appearing in the later, metro edition of the paper omits this.) And the Times says severe cases can result in arthritis, and nervous system and heart damage. But the paper doesn't say how many cases turn out like this. And neither story states the number of Lyme deaths, if any. We are merely told by the Times that the disease is "a cause of great concern each summer for parents and those who spend a lot of time outdoors." In short, nothing in the stories alleviates a creeping suspicion that this disease, while of great concern to newspaper editors with summer places in Connecticut and children at Camp Heapumwampum, is hardly on a par with say, rat bites, lead-paint poisoning, and malnutrition suffered by inner-city kids. Congress Drifts and Coasts The near-global stock market plunge, with an especially deep crisis in Moscow, leads at USA Today , the Los Angeles Times , and the New York Times . A behind-the-scenes look at the just-unsealed ruling against the White House's use of executive privilege in the Monica Lewinsky investigation leads at the Washington Post (and is the top national story at the NYT , LAT and USAT ). On Wednesday, market indexes dropped in Hong Kong, Japan, Frankfurt, Paris, London, and the U.S. (although by the end of trading, the Dow had recovered most of the day's losses). Nothing compared with Russia's troubles though, where yesterday's 10 percent dip in the stock market meant a cumulative shrinkage of 40 percent this month. USAT says the proximate cause was Moody's downgrading the rating of five Japanese banks and deploring the entire banking system of Indonesia. The WP cites that as well as indications Hong Kong is set to announce its first GDP slip in a decade. All of this fits under the NYT 's general explanation: investors are increasingly shunning markets in developing countries. Sometimes the narrative in economic flash stories is a little brisk. What can the non-economist get from such sentences as USAT 's "In a bid to restore confidence, the Russian central bank tripled key interest rates to a staggering 150%."? Staggering interest rates just don't sound confidence building. The NYT and LAT leads, which focus on the Russian economy, meet this challenge with the sprinkling of additional Econ 101 information required: jacked-up rates of return encourage investors to hold on to their rubles rather than selling them for dollars. Still, the reader can't help but be confused by the widely quoted pronouncement by the head of the IMF: "Contrary to what markets and commentators are imagining, this is not a crisis." The dailies report that federal judge Norma Johnson agreed with President Clinton that executive privilege for both the president and First Lady, as well as lawyer-client privilege for certain presidential discussions with aides, are legitimate notions. But, they add, after Ken Starr made a private presentation to her of secret grand jury evidence, she decided the privileges are trumped by the particulars of the Lewinsky case. The Post says the legal papers Clinton submitted make it clear that early on, the Lewinsky scandal, despite public assertions by aides to the contrary, was seriously affecting his ability to focus on his job. The papers also show that the specter of impeachment was very real for him--so real, Clinton claimed, that he needed candid and private advice from aides about how to combat it. Snippets from Starr's brief suggest nothing short of Absolute Power : "If a president were to murder a political opponent, he would argue that the resulting uproar could impair his legislative program, distract him from his duties, affect his dealings with foreign heads of state, and potentially give rise to impeachment proceedings--the very arguments raised by the White House here..." Ready for another high-profile digital anti-trust case that will no doubt also drag on for years? Well, the Wall Street Journal and NYT fronts report that Federal Trade Commission investigators are recommending civil antitrust charges against Intel Corp., alleging that the chip maker used its dominant market position unfairly against smaller competitors. (The WP carries the story inside.) Everybody reports another computer development, which the NYT business section calls "a glimpse of the future the government is seeking" in its case against Microsoft: namely, the Gateway computer company negotiated permission from MS to make Netscape Navigator and Internet Explorer equally convenient choices from Gateway start-up screens. In a gimlet editorial, the WP says it may be too early to call this Congress "do-nothing," but not too early to call it "done-nothing." Sure, notes the Post , there was the (budget-busting, drunk-driving-ignoring) highway bill, but what about tobacco legislation, campaign finance reform, a student loan bill, health care, food stamps for needy immigrants, child care subsidies, reforming the Endangered Species Act and Superfund, or paying up our U.N. bill? But, according to the NYT , in at least one area, Congress has taken charge. In hearings last week, a House committee heard from various Platters, Drifters, Coasters, and Vogues all requesting that federal law be amended to protect oldies groups from other performers using the their group-names. They can say what they want about our schools, our health care, and our campaign financing, but this country takes a backseat to no one when it comes to fighting against doowop knockoffs . Losing Their Nerve Gas With America shutting down for the long weekend, overseas news dominates the papers that are still working. The Japanese government's announcement of a plan to resolve its banking crisis leads at the New York Times and Los Angeles Times . The Washington Post makes Japan's banks its off-lead and goes instead with the pledge by Nigeria's new leader to release all political prisoners, a story that's the off-lead at the LAT and runs on the bottom front at the Times . A central issue confronting the country, the Post explains, is whether the long-suppressed southern-based Yoruba peoples can win a political role within any compromise with the northern-based Hausa-speakers who dominate the military leadership. Japan's bank plan, which must get the approval of Parliament before being enacted, is intended to address the country's estimated $550 billion in troubled loans, and as the LAT notes, to assuage the rising tide of international complaints, especially from the U.S. and China, about Japanese inaction. The NYT explains that since the plan will let some banks fail, it is a departure from Japan's "convoy" system via which all banks support one another. All three of the big dailies working today feature front-page stories about Time/CNN's retraction of its allegation that nerve gas was used against American defectors by U.S. troops in Laos in 1970, with considerable additional coverage inside. (Question: why is it only the LAT 's headline that mentions that Time made a retraction too?) Media retractions are rare enough, but this case produced something rarer still: firings and resignations arising from poor journalism. Two producers were cut loose, another resigned, and bigfoot CNN correspondent Peter Arnett, was, according to the Post , "given a stern reprimand" by the CNN chairman. The retraction was based on the findings of an outside consultant, media lawyer Floyd Abrams, who concluded, say the papers, that the journalists involved "ignored or minimized" information that conflicted with the nerve gas theory. Even in the retraction and the papers' coverage of the retraction there is plenty of residual bad journalism. The stories make it seem that the only organized criticism came from Floyd Abrams--there's not even a whisper indicating that all the key questions were raised the day after the story aired by Slate 's Cyrus Krohn. (That babyish desire not to credit others is incredibly deep-seated. "Today's Papers" was shocked to learn that the LAT piece about genetic research in Iceland lauded here last month was wholly derivative of a prior Mother Jones piece, which was not even mentioned by the LAT .) And although everybody now offers tons of reasons for what the mission was not, nobody seems at all interested in a coherent account of what it *was*. All the lemming-like movement first towards and then away from the story leaves plenty of worthwhile questions on the table: Was nerve gas ever used in Vietnam or Laos? If not, then why does everybody now admit that there were tactical munitions canisters called CBU-15s, and that they were in-country? Were missions (nerve gas or no) ever conducted against U.S. servicemen or defectors? The WP and NYT report that the federal government yesterday ordered states to pay for Viagra under their Medicaid programs for the indigent and disabled, on the grounds that under Medicaid, prescription drug coverage must include any medication approved by the FDA. The upshot, notes the Post , is that the government is now having the states pay for Viagra for men but not for birth control or infertility treatments for women. And not, the Times quotes one source as saying, for medical equipment needed to keep quadriplegics and people with cerebral palsy out of nursing homes. The NYT especially emphasizes states' concerns about the current lack of knowledge about side effects, and reports that New York and Wisconsin say they will defy the Viagra directive. Two days ago, USAT broke the story of a defector from Pakistan's nuclear weapons program, who as part of his process of seeking asylum in the U.S, told authorities that his country had contemplated a nuclear first strike against India. The story got some follow-through coverage yesterday, but now comes the NYT reporting that the man is not a scientist at all, but "a low-paid accountant for a company that makes bathroom tiles." The WP says that Newt Gingrich's publisher still has 100,000 copies of the Speaker's worst-selling novel "1945" taking up space in a warehouse. "You'd think," he tells the paper, "there are 100,000 Republicans out there who would want one." The WP reports that Jack Kevorkian's lawyer, Geoffrey Fieger, is running for governor of Michigan, and making a strong and entertaining go of it. When asked if Kevorkian might have a place in his Cabinet, Fieger said no: "Can you imagine a man with more skeletons in his closet?..." Arrested Development The Los Angeles Times and Washington Post leads continue reports on the Capitol shootings while digging deeper into the gunman's troubled past. The New York Times leads with Ken Starr's latest gift for the President: a Federal grand jury subpoena. The WP describes Russell "Rusty" Weston Jr. as a mentally disturbed loner who, when not panning for gold in Montana streams, raved about his ties to the Kennedys and being betrayed by President Clinton. The LAT reports that the wounded gunman, who has a "50-50" chance of survival, has been charged with murder and could receive the death penalty. Both papers note the reopening of the Capitol the day after the shootings. The LAT alone specifies the shooter's mental illness as paranoid schizophrenia. The NYT confirms that President Clinton has been subpoenaed to appear before a Federal grand jury--a first ever for a sitting President. Lawyers continue negotiating to avoid subjecting Clinton, sans attorney, to jurors' questions. While legal scholars can't agree whether Clinton can be forced to testify, certain House Democrats have agreed publicly that the President should answer the grand jury's inquiries well before November elections. Plans to arrest Bosnia's two most wanted war criminals have been scrapped, according to a NYT front page piece. Cold-footed French officials and fear that arrests would provoke further Serbian aggression undermined the 2 years and over $100 million spent on training and surveillance in prepararation for the roundup. The NYT does not explain why millions of dollars were needed to track two men later described as easy to find. A WP front page story reports on the acknowledgment of former South African 'coloreds' that they are indeed black. Many apartheid-era blacks claimed mixed ancestry in order to avoid more severe restrictions, often changing family names and falsifying birth records. Cynics cite the opportune timing of coloreds' rediscovered blackness now that the black-majority government has instituted policies helping those who faired worst under apartheid. The WP takes a look at exploited immigrant high tech workers on its front. U.S. companies that sponsor temporary visas for foreign workers can pay them less and work them harder. The workers need new visas to change jobs and face stiff fines for doing so. Moreover, companies dangle green cards in front of employees working under the federally legislated $65,000 salary cap just to keep them honest. The always AIDS-conscious NYT reports on a new U.N. dilemma: whether to advise mothers infected with the AIDS virus to stop breast-feeding. Cultural and medical considerations include fears that non-infected mothers will discontinue breast-feeding and the danger of formula mixed under unsanitary conditions. U.N. statistics show that more than a quarter of mother-to-child transmissions of the HIV virus occur from breast-feeding. A NYT Week in Review piece questions the wisdom of recent attempts to align the values of the military with the rest of society. One defender of separate military culture opines, "We shouldn't be running the military like a college campus." Today's Papers wonders if an inner-city high school might prove a more effective model. Dissing and Dissonance The Los Angeles Times and New York Times lead with public and political reaction to The Speech, which is also the subject of the Wall Street Journal 's main "Politics and Policy" piece. The Washington Post goes with Kenneth Starr's re-summoning tomorrow of Monica L. to his grand jury, a story that USA Today puts together with Hillary's post-speech support of her husband for its lead. Three of the fronts feature pix of the First Family walking across the White House lawn to start what would have to count as the worst family vacation in history. Buddy is there too, on a longer leash than his master will be on for some time. The LAT draws the blinds the morning after and sees some members of Congress--including Democrats normally Clinton allies--so "infuriated" that "it was clear the sordid spectacle would not be put to rest quickly." Looming large in the paper's survey are the reactions of California's senators, both Democrats. Dianne Feinstein said Clinton's remarks left her trust in his credibility "deeply shattered." And Barbara Boxer is quoted saying that "he should have told us the truth seven months ago" and that the Lewinsky relationship was "wrong--clear, black-and-white, no-room-for-ambiguity wrong." The paper points out that Boxer's comments were surprisingly negative given that she is related to Clinton by marriage. The Journal and NYT also note the Feinstein reaction, and go on to note that the ranks of distancing Democrats include such party bigfeet as Dick Gephardt, Thomas Daschle and Lee Hamilton. The unwavering support expressed by Al Gore is widely noted. USAT quotes Republican Sen. John Ashcroft calling for Clinton's resignation. Although the NYT reports that Tom Delay urged Clinton to resign, the paper describes the general reaction among Republicans as "unusually tame." The LAT says instant polls show that the majority of Americans were satisfied with the president's statement and wanted the matter dropped. Similar observations are given prominent placement by the WP and WSJ . But the papers don't seem to notice that this shows there is a serious divergence between what they and the American people think is news. For instance, the NYT front gives roughly equal play to two stories: 1) a discussion of whether or not the tie President Clinton wore on the day Monica Lewinsky first testified to the grand jury was a gift from her and hence worn as some sort of signal to her, and 2) the health risks of breast feeding in the undeveloped world, the location of most of last year's 600,000 new cases of AIDS among babies. The NYT off-lead reports that Pakistan has arrested two new suspects in the African embassy bombings. The men were seized in the Khyber Pass while trying to cross into Afghanistan. The previously arrested suspect in the case, says the paper, has said one of the men is a pivotal bomb plot participant. All three men are apparently devotees of Osama bin Laden, the multimillionaire supporter of terrorists believed to be living in Afghanistan, and the three left Kenya together on the same plane. The Times reports that the U.S. is urging Afghanistan to expel bin Laden. While the Times continues to emphasize that U.S. officials have apparently not heard with their own ears from the first suspect about bin Laden's operations, the WP continues to pass along in increasing detail what he apparently told Pakistani authorities: that bin Laden runs and finances a terrorist network, which pulled off the embassy bombings. Today, the Post says the Pakistanis were told that the bin Laden force numbers 4,000 to 5,000 members and that it has taken part in prior armed actions, including attacks against U.S. forces in Somalia, resulting in the deaths of 18 American soldiers. The USAT front and the insides of the other papers report that on Tuesday, the "Real IRA," an IRA splinter group opposed to the Northern Ireland peace accord, issued a telephoned statement admitting that it set off the bomb in Omagh that killed 28 people, including a number of children. The group apologized for the deaths, saying that they occurred only because its evacuation warnings were not properly followed. The NYT reports that although the Pope is healthy enough to keep a busy schedule, American TV networks and those of other countries are rushing to iron out the logistics of covering his funeral. CBS News, for instance, reportedly just paid $180,000 for the exclusive use of a terrace overlooking the Vatican for live "stand-ups" by Dan Rather and its other anchors. And while ABC is said to have just obtained exclusive funeral rights to the Hilton, CNN is rumored to be negotiating with the Church itself for sole access to a prime property. The Times quotes the headline of an Italian newspaper story about the scramble: "The Pope: Heaven Can Wait, the Networks Cannot." Who's on Top? A split in the commentariat: Writing in Time , Andrew Ferguson says that if Clinton is driven from office it will be not be because he had an adulterous affair while in the White House, but because "the girl is by many definitions still a girl ... 21, fresh from college" and "decent people in positions of power do not exploit the vulnerable for kicks." It will also be because of "the kind of sex they had"--which Ferguson, following press accounts of Monica's accounts, characterizes as "strictly one-way, designed for maximum pleasure" of the president. Meanwhile, in The New Yorker , Larissa MacFarquhar rejects the notion that Monica is a victim. She's "a college graduate of twenty-one" who will at worst wind up with a great book deal. And Clinton is "a babe" ... Who's right? MacFarquhar's historical scholarship is open to question. She seems to believe Lewinsky got to "sleep with ... the President," something the tapes actually contradict. As the girl who lives down the hall from Chatterbox complains, "she gives him a blow job and then has to wait around in receiving lines!" ... On the other hand, suppose Clinton had gone all the way and driven Lewinsky wild with pleasure. Would that change Ferguson's mind? Probably not. As for the age difference--well, wouldn't it be just typical of baby boomers like Ferguson to define anyone younger than they are as immature, not quite adult. ... Chatterbox believes the dynamics of human sexuality are complex and subtle, and it's hard to tell who is taking advantage of whom at any one time. Clinton may be a user, but you don't get driven from office for being a user. (Name a successful pol who isn't.) He doesn't seem to have egregiously led Lewinsky on with lies and fake JFK-style promises of love or matrimony, in the classic male-asshole mode. Yes, he did talk of strains in his marriage and suggested the he'd be "alone" after he left the White House. But that may have been the truth. Overall, the situation must have been pretty clear. Chatterbox sides with MacFarquhar, at least at this point in time. Neither Lewinsky nor Clinton were victims. There were victims, but they are to be found outside the relationship. ... Oh, yes: If true! Almost forgot. Closed Doors (They're Made of Glass) The New York Times , Washington Post , and Los Angeles Times lead with the news that, on Monday, Congress will release President Clinton's videotaped grand jury testimony and 2,800 pages of material gathered by Starr. The decision was made during a two-day "closed-door" session of the GOP-controlled House Judiciary Committee. Rep. Henry Hyde (the top Republican) and Rep. Barney Frank (the top Democrat) announced the decision at a press conference, after which the two traded partisan jabs. Frank accused Hyde of "unilateral bipartisanship". Hyde said Frank defines bipartisanship as Republicans caving in to Democrats. The session wasn't "closed-door" in any real sense, of course, since all three papers describe each and every point the committee discussed. Every article mentions the remarkable partisanship displayed behind those doors. Every article also interprets the furious GOP-Democratic sparring as a depressing harbinger. The committee's big dispute--other than whether to release--was over what to delete from the released materials. The NYT says the proposed deletions were of "sexually explicit material". The WP adds that some were about a cigar, while the LAT mentions the cigar and "detailed descriptions by Lewinsky of her orgasms". (In case you're interested: Republicans kept the cigar references, while Democrats managed to expurgate Lewinsky's orgasm musings.) None of the papers catches the irony of Republicans introducing sexual explicitness into the public sphere whilst Democrats fight to keep it out. The lead international story at the NYT and LAT is that Japanese political parties have agreed upon a financial recovery plan. Neither paper has much more to say, since details of the deal are not yet available. The WP 's internatioal lead says Bosnian elections didn't go the way Western officials had hoped. Instead, the surprise winner is an "ultranationalist" named Poplasen. All three papers report that the Senate failed, by three votes, to override the president's veto of a ban on partial birth abortions. Got that? It means partial birth abortions remain legal. The veto has already been overridden by the House, the GOP hopes to pick up the required three Senate seats in November. The WP runs a piece on rent control (in Cambridge MA) which reports that after price ceilings were abolished 1) poorer people moved out; 2) wealthier people moved in; and 3) wealthier people spend more money on things. The NYT gives prominent place to the headline "Novice Ranchers Find Fun and Profit in Breeding Alpacas". Sound familiar? Maybe it's because the NYT ran an almost identical piece on emus just two months ago--substitute "emu" for each appearance of "alpaca" and the pieces are the same (except apparently alpacas are more lucrative). Today's Papers checked and, astoundingly, the articles are written by different people. Next month: Bison Are Low Fat (and Lip Smackin'). I Dub Thee Surplus The first federal budget surplus in twenty-nine years leads at the New York Times and Los Angeles Times . The Washington Post goes with NATO preparations for airstrikes against Slobodan Milosevic's forces in Yugoslavia. USA Today leads with the financial markets' reaction to the Fed rate cut. Both Times leads record yesterday's Bill Clinton-led White House ceremony commemorating the estimated $70 billion in the federal plus column. But it's the WP 's inside story that rolls out a professor from some place called Carleton College to best summarize the moment: "He came in hoping to be Franklin Roosevelt, and ended up being Dwight Eisenhower." Both Times and the WP stress the partisan carping the surplus has inspired: the Democrats want credit for passing a 1993 tax increase without a single Republican vote, and the Republicans want credit for pressuring Clinton in 1995 to commit to a balanced budget. The WP says that few things irk Clinton more than not being given credit for ending permanent deficits. The LAT helpfully includes some non-partisan explanations for the surplus: the peaceful dissolution of the Soviet Union, which kept defense spending from going higher, the moderation of health care costs, and the extra tax revenue wrought by the stock market boom. The NYT stresses that for all the credit-claiming, the current budget process is still, to put it Times ly, "untidy"--with only nine days left before the congressional recess, the paper notes, only 2 of the 13 spending bills required for government operations have been completed. Also, the papers explain, the parties now disagree about what to do with the surplus--Clinton wants to reserve it for dealing with the coming Social Security crunch, although he wants to use some of it for keeping U.S. troops in Bosnia and to solve the Y2K problem, while the Republicans are against that spending, but want to allocate at least some of the surplus to tax relief. According to the WP lead and front-page stories at the NYT , USAT and the LAT , all indications are that the discovery earlier this week of the bodies of dozens of massacred ethnic Albanians has galvanized the U.S. and NATO into planning imminent military action--probably airstrikes--against Yugoslavia. Nobody has pictures in the paper today to match the one of a massacre victim that ran (in color) in the NYT yesterday. The USAT lead puts the dubiousness of one-day economic analysis and the folly of giving much newspaper space to it on full display. The story's headline and first paragraphs emphasize yesterday's 238 point drop in the Dow and the dip of 30-year Treasury bonds below 5 percent for the first time ever, and say that "analysts" see these developments as a flight from international stock markets (probably the wrong word--these days, all stock markets are international--what's meant is "overseas"). But this leaves unexplained why this flight didn't roost in the U.S. stock market as well as in the U.S. bond market. Also, the concerned tone of the story takes too narrow a point of view--basically that of a stockholder or bond buyer--whereas there is good news here too. After all, bad news for lenders is good news for borrowers--housing mortgage rates are wonderful right now and off the Treasury yield dip can only get wonderfuller. (The NYT front-page market piece has many of the same tics, but at least mentions the plus for home buyers. By the way, the Wall Street Journal reports that the recent dip in new-home sales is probably mostly due to a non-financial factor: Hurricane Bonnie.) A front-page LAT story reports that Hillary Clinton told "associates" (one of whom was, according to the paper, almost surely Sidney Blumenthal) that her husband assured her last January that he was not having an affair with Monica Lewinsky, but was merely "ministering to a troubled young person." Depends what you mean by "ministering." Another sign that the press may be ending its post-Gulf War free pass for the U.S. military comes with today's NYT lead editorial, "The Insatiable Pentagon," which calls the current arguments in Washington about whether the DOD's $271 billion budget is enough "surreal." But in case you think such criticism means the defense business is headed for a correction, check out James Glassman's stock tip column today in the WP , in which he states, "It's almost certain that Congress will use a good chunk of the budget surplus for defense." Glassman goes on to note that some leading professional investors consider such stocks as Northrop Grumman, Raytheon, and Lockheed Martin to be excellent buys. The WP 's TV column notes that earlier this week, the Los Angeles City Council passed a motion condemning the new sitcom "The Secret Diary of Desmond Pfeiffer," a show about a black butler and personal advisor to President Lincoln that includes cavalier references to slavery. The show has also, reports the Post , been protested by the NAACP's Beverly Hills/Hollywood chapter. Wonder what the LACC and NAACP position was on "Hogan's Heroes." Stations of the Cross Examination The Los Angeles Times leads with Secretary of Defense William Cohen's statement yesterday that U.S. ground troops may have to be part of any NATO peacekeeping effort in Kosovo, a story that also makes the Washington Post and New York Times fronts. The WP and NYT leads go with efforts by the White House and the Democratic congressional leadership to keep House Democrats from supporting the Republican impeachment resolution when it comes to a floor vote on Thursday. Both papers report that Bill Clinton has himself made calls to key members of Congress as part of this effort, and that Al Gore is also taking an active role. USA Today leads with the budget talks beginning today between top White House aides and the congressional Republican leadership. Object: avoiding a government shutdown. According to the paper, bones of contention include: additional funding for the IMF, whether or not to authorize population sampling for the 2000 Census, and emergency farm aid. Cohen's comments at a Senate hearing constitute, explains the LAT , a shift for the Clinton administration, which till now has not publicly discussed possible U.S. roles in any NATO deployment to Kosovo. The NYT makes the shift seem bigger than the other papers because it emphasizes Cohen's expressed personal recommendation that U.S. ground troops not be sent, an option other senior officials in the administration have been leaving open, while the LAT and WP stress that he didn't flatly rule this out. The papers make it clear that the response of some of the senators suggests that the task of selling a ground deployment to the Hill may be "formidable." Several senators, report the LAT , WP and NYT , drew the comparison with the U.S. troop presence in Bosnia--at first said by the Clinton administration to be only a remote possibility, but still in place three years after the cessation of fighting there. The LAT makes it seem that such concerns were only on the minds of Republicans, while the other two papers make it clear they were voiced from both sides of the aisle. Such political resistance explains why some administration officials have floated in recent days the idea of an all-European military ground force being dispatched to the region, with the U.S. dominating any air effort. But, the LAT points out, this seems unlikely to work because when an all-Euro force was on the ground in Bosnia, there was severe tension between the countries involved and the U.S., which didn't have ground troops at risk. Another problem, pointed out by the Post : Boris Yeltsin sternly warned yesterday against any NATO deployment and his Defense Minister said such a move would plunge the world back into the Cold War. Buried deep in the LAT story are the numbers. To give context to the whole discussion, they should have been placed much higher. It seems that NATO planners are considering 25,000-35,000 soldiers, and under one plan, even 60,000. The WP off-lead recounts the psychological consequences of Japan's economic mess. The country is seeing a big rise in suicide, depression, insomnia, over-drinking, over-smoking and ulcers. Most stunning stat: At least 50,000 Japanese are expected to be hospitalized this year after trying to kill themselves. The WP runs a front-page look at Ken Starr's McLean, Virginia church by the paper's religion reporter, Hanna Rosin. It turns out Starr's place of worship is a 12-steppy, New Agey kind of a deal, emphasizing recovery from various addictions. Apparently, Starr gets lots of support from fellow congregants. The story quotes one fellow parishioner's request that members pray for Starr: "I have a friend who is going through hell right now...I believe he is in trouble with the world because he desires to represent Christ well in the task to which he has been called." The NYT front and the Wall Street Journal inside describe AT&T's latest move to fight the erosion of its long distance business by downscale dial-around services like MCI's 10-10-321--it's introducing its own downscale dial-around service, called Lucky Dog. Ads for the new service will feature Larry Hagman and the cast of "The Jeffersons." But there's one thing they won't feature: any indication that the company is owned by AT&T. The WP 's Al Kamen points to an odd passage in an anti-drug pamphlet with a foreword by Sen. Orrin Hatch. The book claims to help parents look for the warning signs that their children are using marijuana or other drugs. These signs include, says the pamphlet, such obvious ones as staying out all night and unexplained needs for money. But there's also this unobvious one: Beware your child's "excessive preoccupation with social causes, race relations, environmental issues, etc." Viagra Falls The New York Times and Los Angeles Times lead with the latest developments in the federal budget wrangle. The NYT headline says a final agreement is near, while the LAT 's says the process is stalled over party differences. (Over their front-page budget stories, both the Washington Post and USA Today sport end-in-sight headlines.) But hey, it's Washington--they're both right. The WP leads with the FAA's recommendation yesterday that, because of newly discovered fire hazards, the insulation be replaced on almost all of the world's airliners. Running FAA/insulation as its off-lead, USAT goes instead with a story tipped yesterday on the LAT front--the feds charging fugitive Eric Robert Rudolph, already wanted for an Alabama abortion clinic bombing, with the 1996 Atlanta Olympics bombing. The paper notes that federal authorities are concerned that Rudolph is being helped to evade arrest, possibly by anti-abortion sympathizers. Taken together the two Times summarize the to-the-moment budget state of play: IN: the $1.1 billion education initiative, originally proposed by President Clinton as exclusively for hiring new teachers, but as per GOP desires, local school districts will now retain the flexibility to use the new money not just for hiring, but also for recruitment, testing, and training of teachers; a $6 billion disaster assistance measure for farmers; grants to help the needy pay heating bills; $950 million towards a national anti-missile defense system; and $18 billion for the IMF. OUT: Billions for fixing up dilapidated school buildings, and national student testing. STILL UP IN THE AIR: How to conduct the 2000 Census, what to do about pornography on the Internet, whether or not to require federal health insurance to cover the cost of contraceptives, and whether or not to keep international family planning organizations from using U.S. funds to influence abortion laws; and whether or not to spend $10 million to promote overseas tobacco sales. The LAT usefully reminds the reader of a list of items that long ago fell off the budget bandwagon: a tax cut, new tobacco regulations, a bill of rights for managed care patients, and campaign finance reform. The NYT stresses the political angles available now for each party: the coalescing budget will allow Republicans to argue that they care about more than Monica, while allowing the Democrats to claim that President Clinton is still politically relevant. The WP and USAT stories about the FAA move point out that the combustibility of insulation is thought to be a cause of the Swissair crash off Nova Scotia that killed 229 people. The stories note the switch to safer insulation can be done during regular maintenance, and that it will cost billions, and that the FAA will eventually make it mandatory. USAT 's front section "cover story" reports that since adopting the one-outfit-fits-all approach through the eighth grade, the Long Beach, California public schools have seen a 91 percent drop in assaults, thefts, vandalism and weapon and drug violations. Both the WP and NYT run stories inside reporting on the latest statistics compiled by the Alan Guttmacher Institute, which indicate that the nation's teen pregnancy rate has dropped considerably in the 1990s. The Post headline says it's the lowest in 23 years. The NYT header says 20 years. Both papers report that the stats indicate a shift among teenage women away from the pill and towards injectable contraception like Norplant and Depo-Provera, especially among blacks. Both papers say these medications are attractive to those who only have sporadic sex and have trouble with consistent contraceptive planning. This is a little code-wordy. Do the papers mean that the girls in question forget to take their pills? Then they should say so. The NYT further mystifies by citing as an added explanation that Depo-Provera is especially appealing to some teenagers "because it is impossible to detect." How do you detect an ingested birth control pill? Many readers responded to yesterday's comment here that a USAT story about the upcoming congressional elections buried mention of its polling sample of "but 1,004" people. It has been pointed out to Today's Papers that this is actually a somewhat larger sample than occurs in many newspaper polls, and is plenty large to be accurate to within a few percentage points' margin of error. Further, in a very interesting letter, USAT 's director of polling points out that although his paper usually delays mentioning the sample size until the last paragraph or so of a story, since USAT doesn't use jumps off the front page, these mentions usually occur much earlier in stories than do similar references in papers like the NYT that do jump. These are all good points. Today's Papers would suggest two things: 1) putting the sample and margin of error information in the subheadline instead; 2) Doing a story some time explaining how nationwide elections can be reliably predicted by talking to fewer people than you see at the mall. The Wall Street Journal reports that Viagra sales have er, come down. Reasons cited: the cooldown of media hype, fear of side effects and managed-care's crackdown on reimbursement. A men's health official is quoted saying that one factor appears to be the Disney effect: men aren't interested in an hour-wait for a two-minute ride. Where the Elite Meet to Delete USAT leads with the movement of U.S. naval forces towards the Persian Gulf, apparently positioning for a strike against Saddam Hussein, a story that is played on the WP front above the fold, but inside at the other majors. The LAT leads with a report that 36 state attorneys general are very close to a $200 billion settlement of the health cost claims they've raised against the major cigarette manufacturers, a story that the WSJ flags in its front-page news box. (The Journal says the deal could end up involving 46 states.) The NYT leads with an exclusive: that during the recent Wye negotiations, the director of the CIA vowed to quit if convicted spy Jonathan Pollard was freed as part of any deal reached between the Palestinian Authority and Israel. According to the USAT account, some of the Iraq scenario is quite familiar: A dire threat to Saddam (this time issued by Secretary of Defense Cohen), President Clinton conferring with national security staff and several foreign leaders, and talk of Tomahawk cruise missiles as the likely weapon. But, notes the paper, there is a new wrinkle too: the State Department has ruled out any last-ditch negotiations. The paper doesn't mention another one: unlike past stare-downs, this time neither France nor Russia is openly resisting U.S. military action. The LAT lead explains that the proposed tobacco settlement doesn't provide as much regulatory restraint nor as much money as the failed federal tobacco bill would have, but also offers the industry less protection from other lawsuits. In return for the billions and a ban on cigarette billboards, transit ads, and logoed merchandise. the bill would end most suits seeking recovery of Medicaid funds spent by the states on smokers. The deal would, says the paper, even provide money for tobacco-friendly states like Kentucky and North Carolina that haven't filed such suits. The settlement might be announced as early as next Monday. The NYT lead says that before CIA director George Tenet took his stand regarding Pollard, President Clinton was seriously considering releasing him. The paper adds that Tenet's vehemence was a direct reflection of the intelligence community's depth of anger towards Pollard despite his conviction for spying for a friendly power. The paper notes that Pollard stole more top-secret documents than almost any other spy in American history (it would have been nice if the Times had said who had taken more), a take measurable in cubic yards, plus it is still unknown if any of them ended up in unfriendly hands. The WP lead is a peek at the special alternative medicine issue of JAMA that's being published today, the first such issue by a mainstream medical journal. According to the story, an estimated 83 million American adults used some sort of alternative medical treatment last year, up 47 percent over 1990. This mainly reflects the medical habits of baby boomers, most of whom said they pursued the alternative therapies more to prevent future problems than to treat current ones. The Post says Americans spent $27 billion on alternative treatment last year, most of it not reimbursed by insurance. What seems to work: A traditional Chinese therapy, moxibustion, which involves burning an herb next to the big toe, proved safe and effective for stimulating fetal movement to avoid breech deliveries; Yoga-style stretching helps combat carpal tunnel syndrome; and traditional Chinese herbs alleviate irritable bowel syndrome. Ineffective: chiropractic spinal manipulations did not seem to help with tension headaches; and acupuncture didn't do any better than placebos in the treatment of AIDS-related nerve damage. USAT covers pretty much the same ground in its front-page "cover story," although adding that insurance coverage of non-mainstream treatment is on the rise. A front-page WSJ feature on the current upsurge in home buying notes a troublesome undercurrent. Yes, the increase in low-down-payment home loans has meant opening up home ownership to more low-income families and to more Hispanics and blacks. However, this new class of homeowner, being more financially strapped, might have a much harder time retaining homes through any significant downturn. A front-page NYT piece identifies the real lesson corporate America is taking away from the Microsoft trial: old e-mail can be a minefield of legal liability. High-tech firms, long based on the free-flow and candor that e-mail encourages, are having second thoughts. For instance, with an eye towards the courts, employees are now encouraged, says the paper, to say "fair competition" not "slaughtering" when talking of business strategy. And to dump old e-mail whenever possible. The Times reports that Amazon.com recently offered free lattes to employees who quickly expelled from their e-mail all files not required for ongoing business or by law. The WP reports that the recent DNA test revelation that Thomas Jefferson almost certainly fathered a child with one of his slaves has energized an Illinois family's previous claim that it is descended from a liaison between a son of George Washington and one of his slaves. The family is now searching for known Washington descendants for the same sort of genetic testing used in the Jefferson matter. The story doesn't say whether the Illinois family members view themselves as white or black. But if you think about it, if this sort of testing became a trend it would be a good thing no matter what the apparent race of the testers. If they are black, discovering a relationship to a Founding Father would tend to replace feelings of alienation often felt by minorities with feelings of proud connection. If they are white, discovering a blood relationship to a slave would tend to stimulate empathy for blacks. Either way, society wins. Monica's Choice The New York Times leads with more tough words from the U.S. about Iraq, but the Los Angeles Times is the only other paper to front the Iraq story at all. The Washington Post 's top national story analyzes the stock market's resurgence. USA Today goes with the Supreme Court's decision not to consider two campaign finance reform cases. And the LAT leads with an analysis of the $206 billion proposed settlement between the states and tobacco companies. The NYT lead says that the U.S. and Britain are highly skeptical of Saddam Hussein's compliance and that "there was an unusually strong consensus Monday that American and British bombing was almost inevitable." The real test, says the Times , should come in a few weeks when surprise weapons inspections begin. British Prime Minister Tony Blair echoed the Clinton Administration's strongly worded sentiments; next time, Blair said, there will be "no warnings, no wrangling, no negotiations, no last-minute letters." American and British forces could be deployed within hours of any decision to attack. Other interesting stories from the NYT 's Iraq package report that 1) President Clinton's decision to terminate the Iraq strike came just 15 minutes before the missiles were to launch; and 2) The French are miffed at Sen. John McCain for insinuating that France tipped Saddam Hussein off to the imminent attack. McCain remarked of the attack plan, "We had to inform our allies, including the French." The LAT tobacco suit story notes that if the case is settled, "the industry got off relatively cheaply in strict financial terms." Smokers themselves, rather than the industry, will essentially shoulder the $206 billion cost through 35-cents-per-pack price increases; the LAT says that this is not enough to seriously dampen consumption. Health advocates have already criticized the settlement as too lax, but the state attorneys general are eager to settle and get the money. For the settlement to take effect, states representing 80% of the nation's Medicare patients must sign by Friday. The USAT lead, tucked inside elsewhere, says that the Supreme Court elected not to hear cases from Ohio and Arkansas about campaign finance reform. USAT emphasizes that prospects for spending reform by the 2000 elections now seem remote, as Congress is generally disinclined to pass the necessary legislation. The WP off-lead about the soaring stock market is buoyed by Tuesday's figures, when the Dow finished above 9000 for the first time since July--18% higher than it was October 1st. Factors in the market rise, says the Post , include interest rate cuts, high corporate earnings, and the waning prospect of Clinton's impeachment. However, doubts linger as to whether the market can maintain its course in the face of the global economic crisis. The Wall Street Journal fronts a terrific story on the Fed's arduous decision-making process. The Fed's announcements and hints on forthcoming interest rate moves are pegged to a delicate PR dance; one ill-timed or misunderstood word can flip markets. The WSJ paints Alan Greenspan as a highly autonomous operator; he "makes major policy changes only at FOMC meetings--partly so the Fed doesn't look like the one-man show it often is." Another Fed decision on interest rate cuts is coming today. Monica Lewinsky has signed a book deal with St. Martin's Press, a story fronted everywhere but the WP (which gives it to "Style") and the LAT . The book (working title: "Monica's Story) will be ghost-written by Andrew Morton, the author of a best-selling Princess Diana book. It could come out as early as February, says the WP . All papers note that Monica's author fee is unexpectedly modest--the NYT says it's just $600,000 plus bestseller bonuses. For free, Monica also has agreed to a television interview with Barbara Walters of ABC. A date has not been set, as Lewinsky is still ironing out with Kenneth Starr's office the legal nuances of a media appearance, but the NYT guesses February. The WP says that Lewinsky may haul in a seven-figure sum for a separate TV deal to be broadcast outside the U.S. From the Slate self-reference corner: A NYT "Business" piece analyzes Slate 's Microsoft trial coverage, saying that irreverent descriptions of jowly Microsoft lawyers by Slate 's inaugural courtroom correspondent, Michael Lewis, "seemed mightily unfettered by Microsoft." "Today's Papers," who also edits Slate 's "Email to the Editor," recommends the piece to the legions of you out there who sent in comments about the trial coverage. Stiff Warning USA Today and the Los Angeles Times lead with Janet Reno's finding that there is no reason to continue looking into Al Gore's 1996 election fundraising. The New York Times , which has hawked the story on its front and editorial pages harder than anybody else, off-leads the denouement. Earlier in the week, when the AOL/Netscape deal was in the works, the Times went with something else, but leads with it today now that there's a fork in it. The Washington Post leads with word from GOP sources that a single charge of perjury against President Clinton might win a House floor vote, but additional charges such as obstruction of justice would not. The paper also says that the idea of a resolution censuring Clinton is gaining congressional momentum. If the Gore decision seems familiar, that's because Reno made it once before, but then reopened the investigation based on new evidence of Gore's attendance at some meetings where ultimately illegal approaches to fund-raising may have been discussed. Both the LAT and NYT explain that the gist of Reno's finding yesterday was that there was no compelling evidence from Gore's remarks at these meetings that he was contemplating flouting the election finance laws. Some Republicans expressed strong emotion about Reno's decision. "We need to take these matters out of the hands of the Attorney General...," Sen. Orrin Hatch is quoted saying in the LAT , while Rep. Dan Burton is in the NYT saying, "Once again, the attorney general has failed to follow the law. For the past two years, the attorney general has made it clear she is committed to protecting the president." The papers agree that Reno's decision clears the deck for a much more trouble-free Gore run at the White House in 2000. The NYT lead describes the AOL/Netscape tandem as a "corporate odd couple," referring to the former's pitch to the "technologically challenged" and the latter's status as the epitome of leading edge siliconsciousness. Yet the story spells out the companies' common vision of a not-distant world in which the Internet is accessed primarily by high tech but easy-to-use and low cost appliances that would be as ubiquitous as cell phones are today. However, the Times says many Netscape programmers may be reluctant to work for AOL because of its "middlebrow" (why not "middlebrowser"?) reputation, setting up a big run on Netscape by headhunters. Both USAT and LAT run reefers to stories inside about increasing Viagra concerns (also noted inside by the WP ). Both papers report that the FDA is adding stricter health warnings to Viagra labels. In addition to the current warning against taking the medication if a patient is already taking any heart drug containing nitrates, the labels will now also say that Viagra could be risky for men with heart problems or very high or low blood pressure. The LAT explains that this is based on a close look at the 130 cases of American men who've died--mostly from heart attacks--after popping the pills. The point is that when sex itself is risky because of underlying cardiological problems, then impotence remedies should be avoided. Also, both papers report that investigators are trying to determine if Viagra is implicated in a Maryland airplane crash last Saturday, which would be a first. A bottle of Viagra prescribed for the dead pilot was found in the wreckage. It's known that in about 3 percent of users, the drug disturbs color vision, which could make reading cockpit instruments and runway lights problematic. The Wall Street Journal "Tax Report" says more and more "not-so-wealthy" people are getting hit with the alternative minimum tax, which was designed to keep the wealthy from dodging federal tax entirely through the artful use of deductions, credits and the like. The paper cites the example of "one veteran Washington tax adviser" who was amazed to receive an IRS letter informing him that he owed $1,175 in AMT. This report would be a lot more compelling if the Journal had told the reader what the man's income was. But absent this information, it's a little hard to get worked up about this issue. Today's Papers doubts that there are many veteran Washington tax advisers who aren't well off. The LAT front and the NYT op-ed page put forward a total of three pieces on the ethics of last Sunday's "60 Minutes" Kevorkian broadcast. The Times anti-Dr. K. op-ed calls the broadcast a "snuff film" and wonders, in light of the shows big rating and attendant advertising revenues, "Shouldn't the profit motive end where life and death become mere commodities for public consumption?" Frank Rich, in his Kevorkian column, is worried too, but decides that the show was justified by its prompting of honest debate on a topic now more shrouded than oral sex. And he quotes the show's Don Hewitt and Mike Wallace appealing to the same principle. Messrs. Hewitt and Wallace make the same case in the LAT . It wasn't sweeps numbers they were after, they claim, but important news. None of this coverage mentions a simple way CBS could have been much more convincing on this point: donate all ad revenues produced by the show to charity. How about to a hospice? Hoffa Gets His Due(s) The New York Times leads with James P. Hoffa's victory in the Teamsters' presidential election. The Washington Post leads with an in-depth look at D.C.'s burgeoning high-tech industry and goes with the Hoffa election as its top non-local story. The Los Angeles Times lead accuses the FDA of approving a drug linked to 33 deaths since 1997. A University of Michigan-educated labor lawyer, Hoffa takes over as President of the International Brotherhood of Teamsters two years after losing an election that was eventually overturned because of his opponent's corrupt campaign financing. Hoffa's most recent rival claims that the son of the legendary James R. Hoffa spent more than $6 million over the 4 years he campaigned for the leadership position. The NYT reports that the union has 1.4 million members, down from 2.3 million during the seventies, but it still holds considerable influence over U.S. industry. The LAT Sunday Report says that the FDA approved a drug used to treat adult-onset diabetes despite "explicit warnings of danger" from within the agency. Even after the product was recalled in Great Britain it remained--and still remains--available by prescription in the U.S.. The drug, called Rezulin, can cause liver damage that has led to 12 deaths in Japan and the U.S. since June. Part of the outrage over the drug's availability stems from the numerous drugs also available to treat the same symptoms. One M.D. notes, "Nobody is going to suffer if [Rezulin] is taken away." Nigeria held elections for local officials in what the NYT headline calls a "First Enthusiastic Step Towards Democracy." The voting was peaceful, turnout was high, and the mood was optimistic throughout the country. Nigeria's president has promised a full transition to democratic government after years of military dictatorship. A WP piece reports that Supreme Court Justices Anthony Kennedy and Stephen Breyer spoke out publicly against what they perceive as threats to judicial independence. The unusual move was a reaction to both Congressional Republicans who threaten to impeachment judges based on their rulings and to campaign contributors who attempt to influence elected state judges. A depressing NYT Magazine cover story follows the struggle of two parents trying to save their toddler, a victim of Canavan disease. The parents desperately lobby the cautious and slow-moving Federal Drug Administration and National Institutes of Health to approve experimental gene therapy, but when the treatment comes it does little. The child is still alive but slowly dying. All the papers report that Albert Gore Sr. died Saturday at age 90. Vice President Gore and Tipper were at the bedside of the former U.S. Senator when he died peacefully of natural causes in his Carthage, Tennessee home. The NYT off-lead profiles Casino mogul Steve Wynn's considerable clout in both the gaming and political arenas. Wynn's company, Mirage Resorts, employs a full-time tele-survey staff that polls constituents on numerous political issues. He then shares this information, along with hundreds of thousands of dollars, with politicians most sympathetic to his cause. The piece says that his methods are successful: many Nevadans consider Wynn "the most powerful man in the state." Bare Market The New York Times and Washington Post lead with the House Judiciary Committee's decision to grant President Clinton's lawyers two 9 AM-to-midnight sessions this week to make their case against impeachment. The Los Angeles Times puts that story on the front but leads with the ever-worsening relations between Israel and the Palestinian Authority on the eve of President Clinton's Middle East trip. The big bone of contention is whether or not Israel is abiding by its Wye promise to free Palestinian political prisoners. Another is whether President Clinton's visit to Palestinian-ruled Gaza will have the full trappings of a visit to an independent state. USA Today goes with upcoming statistics from the Centers for Disease Control suggesting that the food-poisoning bacteria E. coli--usually associated with inadequately cooked hamburgers--may be causing twice as much illness as previously thought. USAT 's off-lead is another scientifically based second look at U.S. life: New computer-assisted studies match up DNA left at violent crime scenes surprisingly often with the DNA of known burglars, indicating that contrary to traditional dogma, burglary is a good predictor of violent crime. The NYT and WP leads communicate almost exactly the same information: The tart letters back and forth between Judiciary and the White House. The likely schedule of events, culminating in the committee vote Friday or Saturday. Tom DeLay's judgement that the House floor vote will be close, but will produce an impeachment bill. Both say that until last week the impeachment tide had ebbed considerably but that Clinton's answers to Judiciary's 81 questions made it rise again. Both have Rep. Christopher Shay's quote about those answers: "I mean he still doesn't get it....He still doesn't tell the truth." Both have Trent Lott saying that if the House votes to impeach, the Senate will put Clinton on trial quickly. The two stories are near twins because they both reflect the standard no-shoe-leather m.o. for many a Monday Washington story: Watch the Sunday chat shows. The LAT follows yesterday's lead about the FDA ignoring warnings about a diabetes drug now implicated in 33 deaths with a top-front effort today revealing that the man responsible for the federal government's largest study of diabetes, which included administration of that drug, was at that time also on the payroll of the drug's manufacturer, Warner-Lambert, as a consultant. The paper says that according to legal experts, this seems to be a crime under federal conflict-of-interest law. The "cover story" in USAT 's "Money" section checks in on what happened when management yoda Steven Covey merged his firm with rival Franklin Quest. According to the paper, there's hardly been one effective habit on display, much less seven. The company's stock is but three dollars above its six-year-old initial offering price, and sales of its business consulting products and services are flat. Meanwhile, there have been time-consuming wrangles between the two partners over such significa as the dress code and the company logo. One observer quoted sums up the situation this way: "It's proof that the great business gurus know how to run everyone's business but their own." The WP front features a story about Y2K survivalists. In the fourteenth paragraph, the Post stops to explain something: "the Y stands for 'year,' and 2K is shorthand for 2000." Today, some poor soul (two actually) at the Wall Street Journal has to write about Scottish Power's expected announcement that it has agreed to acquire PacifiCorp, yadda yadda, but elsewhere in the paper, another reporter lucks out. Today, the Journal 's Asra Q. Nomani is an island of lust in a sea of lucre, filing a long, long, look at the slow, slow-sex industry known as Tantra. There are some of the usual trappings of a financial story, but most of the multiples here aren't P/Es. For instance: "Known as 'Shara,' Ms. Seabrook slips off a white-gauze sarong from over her white G-string bikini as she climbs on a massage table to straddle the table with Ms. Clarke's live-in boyfriend, Evan Sarver, 30, a Web designer, who sits naked, his face just inches from hers." Who cares what the market does today? Watch on the Potomac The papers all lead with the first day of the White House's defense before the House Judiciary Committee. The journalism consensus is that the panels of Watergate-era Judiciary members, academics and ex-special prosecutors constituted a deepening of the scandal's heretofore ditzy discussion. One Washington Post headline refers to a "day of dialogue." The New York Times sees a "sober debate." The Los Angeles Times says that compared to Kenneth Starr's committee appearance, yesterday's session was "much more sober and substantive." The Post says that yesterday, the president's legal team "offered its most comprehensive rebuttal." Huh? As the LAT notes, the day featured Democratic Rep. Zoe Lofgren saying that one reason not to impeach was that it would be bad for the economy, while Republican Rep. Asa Hutchinson cited as a pro-impeachment consideration President Clinton's use of the word "intimate" when he should have said "sexual." And at one point, says the Post , Republican Rep. Howard Coble responded to witness Fr. Robert Drinan's assertion that vengeance was motivating GOP conservatives by saying, "If anybody thinks vengeance is involved, I'll meet them in the parking lot." That's the current state of congressional deliberation--challenging a 70-plus priest to a duke-out. The day proved once again that there is no hearing in a congressional hearing. They should call these things congressional talkings. The papers agree that the real targets of the discussion are the House's 12-20 moderate Republican undecideds. But if so, then call those folks into executive session and leave the rest of us alone. The USA Today front carries word that Tuesday the Supreme Court ruled unanimously that, absent indications of additional criminal activity, police cannot automatically search a car after making a routine traffic stop. The story is also carried inside at the WP . The papers note that the decision is a surprising exception to the Court's trend in recent years of upholding and widening police conduct especially in the area of searches. Neither story mentions one notorious criminal who might never have been caught had this decision come down a few years ago--Timothy McVeigh, initially held because of a gun found in his car after he was stopped for driving without plates. The LAT front carries a stunning medical result published in today's JAMA , sure to add fuel to the second-hand smoke debate. Examinations of 53 San Francisco bartenders made before and after the implementation last January of California's public indoor smoking ban show, says the medical journal, a substantial post-ban lessening of respiratory troubles as well as of eye, ear, nose and throat problems. The changes were detected less than two months after the ban began. (Hats off to the LAT for putting the number of bartenders high up.) A congressional staffer tells the Wall Street Journal "Tax Report" he has to speak off the record because "I get in a lot of trouble if I'm quoted, especially if the quotes are accurate." Last week, former Secretary of Agriculture Mike Espy was acquitted of charges that he illegally accepted gratuities. But according to the WP 's "The Reliable Source," he's still really into legal gratuities. It seems that Espy's special prosecutor Donald Smaltz had 18-carat gold watches made for his staff (let's hope that this was done out of Smaltz's pocket and not his office budget), and Espy is quoted in the Post saying, "I surely would like a watch. I think I earned the watch." Eight Is Too Much USA Today leads with its poll indicating that despite Saturday's bad day at the office, President Clinton's job approval rating hit 73 percent. The Washington Post runs a story inside about its similar poll findings--nearly two-thirds of those it surveyed approve of Clinton's job performance--but leads with the warning the Clinton administration's senior national security advisors issued yesterday to Saddam Hussein: whenever necessary, the U.S. will bomb you again to prevent the development or use of gas and/or germ weapons. (Note to Pentagon: Ixnay on "Operation Himmler.") USAT fronts this Iraq story as well. Both it and the WP cite their own polls' finding that about 80 percent of the American people approve of the just-concluded Iraq operation. The Los Angeles Times and New York Times each focus on the Senate's struggle with the issue of whether or not it still has the option of brokering some sort of resolution to the crisis besides a trial of President Clinton. Predictably, both papers find a party split--generally, Democrats are open to alternatives and Republicans are not. According to the Post , the administration's big Iraq policy shift is that henceforth, it will not view action by or relating to the U.N.'s weapons inspectors, nor approval by the U.N. Security Council or any of the Allies, as required for the U.S. use of force. It is a measure of the times that seven paragraphs in, this story veers to Madeleine Albright's acknowledgement that she'd been misled last winter by President Clinton's denials to the Cabinet of an affair with Monica Lewinsky. But then the story regains its center of gravity, making the point that the Iraq policy turn, with its open-ended commitment of forces against Saddam, means that the Clinton administration has de facto abandoned the recent Washington policy mantra that military deployments were okay only if accompanied by a clear exit strategy. This should have been put high in the piece, above the Monica swerve. Similarly, the LAT front-pager on Iraq policy, by the estimable Robin Wright, pushes down to the 14th paragraph the claim that Washington is now "almost irrevocably involved" until the objective of toppling Saddam is achieved. The NYT inside piece on all this focuses instead on the sparse details of what is currently known about damage to raid targets. The NYT off-lead, assessing the damage in Baghdad, makes the point that--despite the widely reported Iraqi claims of thousands of casualties--Western assessments of few civilian casualties gain credence because, contrary to past Iraqi government practice, foreign journalists have not been invited to view bombed homes. USAT reports a U.S. first--the opening wave of strikes against Iraq included a female Navy carrier pilot. A sign of the gradual normalization of the once-hot-button "women in combat" issue: the paper runs the story on page 18. A story inside the NYT reports another first--the inaugural combat use of the B-1 bomber. The story's headline speaks of the very expensive and long-underused plane's "vindication," but this seems to be overselling. The story's body quotes a B-1 officer saying that "vindication might not be the right word," and waits until the ninth paragraph to reveal that "the Pentagon had not yet been able to assess the damage done by the bombers' strikes." The LAT fronts, and the NYT runs inside, news that a Texas woman has given birth to octuplets. Neither story's headline mentions that the woman had taken fertility drugs. These drugs are creating incredibly expensive and complicated births--shouldn't they be flagged as a big part of the story? Both the NYT and Wall Street Journal run front-page pieces saying that the recent dip in the national savings rate isn't necessarily bad. For one thing, notes the Journal , to some extent, the savings rate is based on conventions such as not counting capital gains as income that make it look worse, and for another, says the Times , with much of the rest of the world mired in recession, this may not be a good time to tighten our belts anyway. The Times mentions something else that seems like it could in fact be a silver lining in this supposed cloud: the big fear that the majority of baby boomers will wind up working longer than they expected because they didn't save enough for their retirement. But wouldn't that delay the huge boomer claim on Social Security, thus giving that system more of a chance to get well? While engaging in his regular drubbing of Bill Clinton, William Safire today along the way actually gives him some very practical advice: under pain of a Senate trial, sign a very tough censure deal, and pay off everybody's legal fees by auctioning off the pen. Wye Not? The New York Times , Los Angeles Times , and Washington Post lead with Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu's decision to give in to pressure from the Israeli parliament--upset on all sides over the course of the peace process with the Palestinian Authority--and stand for re-election this spring, more than a year before the scheduled end of his term. The Wall Street Journal also runs a front-page leader on the development. USA Today puts Israel on page 11 and goes instead with the latest ripple in a story that's been percolating below the fold for a while: allegations of vote-buying by the Salt Lake City Olympics bid committee in its successful drive to land the 2002 Winter Games. What's new, says the paper, is that former Senate Majority Leader George Mitchell (rumored to be under consideration as President Clinton's defender in the Senate's impeachment trial) has agreed to lead a U.S. Olympic Committee investigation into the charges. Israel's move to new elections, the papers explain, is not finalized yet, but virtually guaranteed, with the field likely to pit at least two candidates against Netanyahu. The cause of the Netanyahu government's unraveling, the papers say, is the U.S.-brokered Palestinian deal, the Wye accord. The Israeli right, dominated by adamant settlers and the devoutly religious, was unhappy with Wye, and Netanyahu's response of opting out of scheduled Israeli troop pullbacks hurt him with the center and the left, which had come to accept land for peace, and infuriated the Palestinians. The papers say that Wye is now in limbo until the outcome of the new elections, even though, the Journal reports, polls show 70 percent of Israelis support it. The WP , NYT , and LAT fronts report on China's handing down of stiff prison sentences--11 to 13 years--to dissidents who'd been trying to start China's first democratic opposition party. (The WP reports on the sentencing of two organizers, while the other two papers also mention a third.) The LAT and NYT report that a State Dept. spokesman denounced the sentences. But the Chinese leadership seems unbending--the NYT reports that in a speech last Friday, China's president and Communist party chief, Jiang Zemin, stated, "The Western mode of political systems must never be adopted." The papers note that this crackdown comes at a time when unquestionably Chinese people have more personal freedom than they've ever experienced before under Communist rule. But the LAT quotes a professor's explanation for this stern crackdown: "The Chinese government has always been worried about any movement that might tie people in one province with people in another." The NYT runs a second piece inside reporting that critics of China cited the prison sentences as proof that the Clinton administration's policy of economic and diplomatic engagement with China has failed. The Houston octuplets are continuing to get front-page coverage. But today, it's tempered with concerns about the ethics of so fully unleashing state-of-the-art reproductive therapy. The Post quotes a doctor saying flatly that such extreme multiple births are not a victory for science and warning against "exuberant therapy." And the NYT quotes another saying the event is "a wake-up call for the medical profession." One problem emerging via the coverage is that the fertility-enhancing technology is so expensive that when patients have to pay for it out of their own pockets, instead of via insurance, whether or not a pregnancy results--they pressure doctors to use increasingly potent measures, greatly increasing the chance of high-multiple births. The LAT front fascinates with reporter Elizabeth Shogren's exclusive look into President Clinton's mindset as he holiday-partied at the White House with friends Sunday night. Shogren, a party guest, snagged a lengthy interview with Clinton. Highlights: Clinton believes that in 20 or 30 years, he will be vindicated. He is determined to find a quick way out of the crisis, but is stumped about how to do that. His friends at the party were "gloomy and distraught" and it was Clinton who was cheering them up. He has been buoyed from recent personal advice not just from a longtime minister friend, but also from Nelson Mandela and former House Speaker Jim Wright. Besides Mandela's spiritual counsel against harboring hate towards your attackers, Clinton cited a practical reason for not being more prominent in his own defense: focusing on himself rather than his job would make his approval ratings plummet. One of the reasons journalists are so despised by other folks is their bent for comments like the one the WP 's James Glassman tosses off in his column today: "(Rep. Dennis Hastert, a former high school wrestling coach, may be a fine fellow, but speaker of the House?!)" Would Glassman be so quick to criticize another wrestler-turned-politician from Illinois, with only one year total of formal education--Abraham Lincoln? Missing in Action The WP and NYT lead with the run-up to Thursday's start of the Senate impeachment trial. The LAT goes with yesterday's air action in the southern "no-fly" zone over Iraq between U.S. and Iraqi fighters. And USAT, which devotes its front-page "cover story" to the eve-of-trial situation in the Senate, leads with a survey out today of 213 companies showing that large firms' health benefit plans will go up about 7 percent this year, far outpacing the current inflation rate of 1.5 percent and making for the first big rise since the early 90s. The paper says the up-tick is primarily driven by the consolidation of HMOs, and that it's bad news for employees, who typically pay more than 20 percent of the cost of their coverage. The health cost story runs inside at the WP . According to the papers, the only thing that's really known about the impeachment trial proceedings scheduled to start in the Senate on Thursday is that they're scheduled to start in the Senate on Thursday. Comments made by senators in breaks from yesterday's continuous palavering suggest that the fast track proposal is, in the words of the NYT , "foundering," with a number of Senate Republicans bucking their leadership to complain that the House managers are entitled to more time to make their case against President Clinton. According to the WP , Rep. Henry Hyde, the leader of the House impeachment team, also weighed in with Senate Majority Leader Trent Lott against a fast track. A related fault line is whether or not the proceedings should include the calling of witnesses. On the one hand, a trial without witnesses seems odd and on the other, there is concern that with a full slate of witnesses, the Senate cannot avoid the rancor just seen in the House. "We think that would really become a zoo," Sen. John Kerry tells the Times . Another issue is whether the Senate is constitutionally empowered to consider censure. Things are so confused that Sen. Lott has, according to the LAT , urged citizens to call their senators and express their views, a remarkable statement, says the paper, in light of the public's overwhelming opposition to impeachment. According to the LAT lead, yesterday's combat over Iraq represents both the determination of the U.S. to enforce the "no-fly" zones and of Saddam Hussein to flout them. The Iraqis sent up more than a dozen warplanes and the U.S. responded with four fighters firing six missiles. The LAT account makes it seem that the U.S. aircraft fired on the Iraqis simply because they were in the zone, whereas the WP and NYT accounts add that the Iraqi planes first illuminated the U.S. aircraft with their fire control radars, indicating possible imminent missile launch (although no Iraqi missiles actually were). But none of the accounts address the issue this difference raises: What is the U.S. rule of engagement here? Is the mere presence of Iraqi aircraft in the "no-fly" zone considered justification or is some further more conventionally understood provocative act required? Also, for a press that's become quite intoxicated with the technical details of our weapons, especially when they work, there's a notable lack of information in the accounts about how each of six U.S. missiles could fail to hit obsolescent Iraqi planes. The NYT quotes the DOD spokesman saying that the Iraqi pilots had been able to get out of range of the missiles. This is doubtful, if the U.S. missiles were fired within their range envelopes, which is U.S. practice, because missiles are many times faster than airplanes. More likely is that the Iraqi pilots saw the missiles coming and then, probably with the help of distracting countermeasures, made sudden maneuvers the missiles couldn't duplicate. Another possibility is that the shots were all taken looking down at the Iraqi planes, with the clutter of the desert background confusing the radar-guided missiles. But none of these matters make it into the reporting. In addition, only the LAT and the WP run the incident on their fronts. The NYT puts it on page three and USAT saves it for page nine. In the past year, the papers have made much of the various safety and environmental negatives posed by the wild proliferation of sports utility vehicles. A front-page WSJ feature adds another to the list. At least in this week's blizzard in Chicago, the "off-road" monsters got stuck in the snow like crazy. Maureen Dowd makes the case today for President Elizabeth Dole. On the principle that we will want our next president to be everything this one is not, she writes, "After President McMurphy, we will want Nurse Ratched." Hijacks Hijinks The Washington Post , Los Angeles Times and New York Times lead with divisions in the Senate looming beyond Friday's groovy vibe, mostly surrounding the issue of witnesses. USA Today leads with word that the nation's blood supply is drastically low. About half the country has only a day's supply of blood to transfuse, whereas three days is the norm. The paper is to be applauded for closing the story with phone numbers for donors to call--a nice change from the tendency news sections too often exhibit of viewing the guise of objectivity as more important than actually helping somebody. In that spirit, this space proposes that each member of the House and Senate give blood this week. Or come to think of it, let's not leave out the media--how about saying you can't opine on TV this week unless you've rolled up your sleeve? (And TP promises to give this week too.) With the possible exception of the WP , the papers have no one on staff who's covered a presidential impeachment before, so they are still feeling their way into the proper kind of coverage. So far, they've pretty much opted to lead with the story whenever possible, regardless of whether or not anything has actually happened. Thus we get the Post lead falsely telling the reader that disputes about witnesses, censure and the very impeachability of the acts in question are "disagreements that became clear on the television interview shows yesterday...." and the paper's flash that the White House's written response to the charges to be submitted today will "not break new ground." A front-page LAT piece observes that there are a number of anniversaries coming up in China this year that could stimulate popular political expression and the government's repression of same: the 10th anniversary of the Tiananmen massacre, the 20th anniversary of the Democracy Wall, the People's Republic of China's 50th birthday, and the 80th anniversary of student activism in China. A WP editorial notes that in China's recent clampdown on political organizing, about 100 dissidents have been arrested, and goes on to complain that the Clinton administration has put virtually no pressure on China in response. For instance, says the paper, there is no evidence that the U.S. will propose even a mild censure of China for the upcoming meeting of the UN human rights commission. The paper has a word for this attitude of the Clinton government toward China: "deference." Some worrisome travel safety items today. The NYT reports that FAA agents masquerading as airline passengers have been able to smuggle guns, hand grenades and bombs past security guards or have gotten the weapons sent in through exits. The airline whose laxness is revealed was USAir, now known as USAirways, but an FAA official tells the paper that the airline's security record is about the same as other big airlines. And USAT reports that although post-Titanic, cruise ships are required to carry enough lifeboats to save all those aboard, this is not true of commuter ferries, dinner-cruise boats, gambling ships, whale-watching ships or airport shuttles, which usually do not. And the WP runs an AP dispatch stating that a German couple drove into a river near Berlin one night not too long ago because their car's computer navigation system did not tell them they needed to stop and wait for a ferry. The Post also says that much-bruited-about DNA test turned out to show that the kid in Arkansas is definitely not Bill Clinton's "love child." In the current edition of his Report, Matt Drudge issues a non-retraction retraction, leading not with a concession but with word that the kid is "doing well" after learning of his non-paternity, and exulting in his column's once again having satisfied his readers' expectations of "details on events rocking and shocking those unfortunate souls who rise to power!" A WP "Style" section piece on the forthcoming Hustler revelations of congress members' affairs says the write-ups won't be as explicit as the Starr report. According to a front-page feature in the Wall Street Journal , South African drivers are getting pretty creative in trying to protect themselves against a rising tide of armed car-jacking. There's the cyanide-laced brandy left in the glove compartment, a concealed buffalo gun that shoots up at a hijacker's nether parts, and an outward-firing flame-thrower. One piece of info the reader doesn't get: Would all such devices be illegal in the U.S.? William Safire claims to be mystified today about the intense loyalty Bill Clinton inspires. Hey, try this--it's sort of like the intense loyalty Richard Nixon inspires. Both yesterday's Maureen Dowd column in the NYT and today's Al Kamen column in the WP make fun of Strom Thurmond's speech patterns, each going so far (crediting Dave Barry for the device) as to offer "translations" into standard English of Thurmond remarks. Today's Papers wonders if either paper has ever offered such translations for anybody besides a Southern white male. Max Senate Comedy The impeachment trial continues to lead all around. Today's big story is the Senate's closed-door debate of a motion to summarily dismiss the charges against President Clinton. The debate went until nearly 10 PM Washington time last night and will continue again today. The secret session came about after a motion to hold all impeachment deliberations in open session was defeated. The New York Times lead editorial calls the shuttered approach "an affront to the public." The papers report that with the matter of whether or not to call witnesses hanging in the balance, much of yesterday was taken up by senators trying to gin up a fast-track strategy that would bring the proceedings to a close expeditiously without witnesses. But, say the papers, none has the votes yet. And so the Senate Republicans are encouraging the House Republican managers to cut down their proposed witness list. The Washington Post says the House team appears ready to do so, with a list including Vernon Jordan, Betty Currie, and White House aides John Podesta and Sidney Blumenthal. The NYT says the House managers are leaning toward calling Jordan and away from calling Currie. The Post adds that there has been some interest in calling Dick Morris, whom the paper reveals, was debriefed by prosecution staffers on Sunday. But in the end, says the paper, such interest waned. One wonders why, given that the WP says one of the things Morris had to say in his dry run was that President Clinton expressed concern to Morris about the gifts he'd given Lewinsky. The NYT , WP and Los Angeles Times all report that Trent Lott submitted ten questions to President Clinton, and that the White House says neither Clinton nor anybody else there will provide answers. The LAT sees the stonewall as a sign that Clinton is confident he'll win the case. The papers report that one idea being kicked around by senators is one vote on whether the charges against Clinton are true and another on whether he should thereby be removed from office. The NYT offers the best explanation of why this is attractive to Republicans: This would be a stringent form of censure, but the finding of facts would only require 51 votes, which means it's doable. Everybody fronts yesterday's 5-4 Supreme Court ruling that the 2000 Census must be an actual headcount, not the statistical sampling that's alleged to be more accurate. The main political impact of the decision is that it will affect how many congressional seats each state gets, and perhaps will also affect which party's members occupy them, because the conventional wisdom is that sampling favors Democrats, by being more able to include folks in cities and recent immigrants. The WP front reports that U.S. aircraft enforcing the no-fly zone over southern Iraq fired missiles at an anti-air site and that Iraqi officials claim eleven civilians were killed when one of them went wide of the mark. Later, says the paper, the Pentagon acknowledged that a brand-new type of video-guided missile may have missed its intended target and hit houses instead. Significantly, the U.S. attack was preemptive, part of a tougher effort to suppress Iraqi anti-air activities without waiting for full-blown attacks against U.S. planes. USA Today fronts the Vatican's criticism of the U.S. campaign in Iraq, and the incident is inside at the two Times . Another story receiving wide play--front at USAT and the NYT , flagged in the Wall Street Journal news box--is Intel's decision to climb down from its previous plans to ship its new Pentium III chip with the capacity to allow Web sites to identify a computer. The feature has been called "cookies on steroids," says USAT , inspiring privacy concerns among many netizens. The WSJ reports a new development in the music business in England, inspired by a recent rash of charges of song ripping-off--plagiarism insurance. Huge legal fees involved in successful defenses against such charges by the likes of Andrew Lloyd Webber are cited as creating the market. The policies--underwritten by Lloyd's of London--provide coverage for all damages and defense costs in such cases. One special requirement: taking out the policy must be kept a secret, to avoid inviting lawsuits. Today's WP answers some questions tendered here yesterday regarding the financing for Monica's sudden blowing into town. Her travel expenses, including luxury accommodations at the Mayflower Hotel, are being paid by Ken Starr until such time as she is called to testify at the impeachment trial. Then Congress pays for them. Boom or Robust The papers all lead with the U.S. economy's latest and cleanest bill of health yet. Figures released by the Commerce Department show that the economy expanded by an unexpectedly vigorous 5.6% in the last quarter of 1998, with inflation and unemployment still deep in remission. The papers explain that recession anxiety may actually have helped ward one off: fiscal turmoil in Asia resulted in low long-term interest rates and commodity prices, which in turn have kept business brisk and spending high. Only the New York Times story actually quotes a Commerce official; most of the valedictory analysis comes from exuberant Wall Street analysts. The giddiest of the lot is quoted in both the Los Angeles Times and the Washington Post : "The US economy is the wonder of the world," he tells the Post . The WP and the LAT report more slaughter of ethnic Albanians in Kosovo at the hands of Serbian police. The latest atrocity is a mass killing of 24 civilians and rebels during a raid on their supposed stronghold. In response, the NYT fronter relays, the Clinton Administration is shopping a plan around Capitol Hill to commit 2000-5000 American ground troops to an international cease-fire-monitoring force in Kosovo. While the other two papers report on the killing, the Times devotes a large chunk of its story to fretting over whether Richard Holbrooke will be involved in the monitoring effort. Although he's been busy fending off an ethics investigation and tending to his investment bank's business, he's still solidly in the loop, and will probably find a way in. Speaking of ethics and investigations, everyone reports U.S. Attorney General Janet Reno's decision to spare Harold Ickes an independent counsel investigation into his alleged cover-up of campaign finance chicanery in the last Presidential election. All papers report that Reno's decision effectively truncates the possibility of further investigations into President Clinton's fundraising for the his 1996 run. The Post writes that the Department of Justice's campaign finance task force has been continually stymied by unfavorable court decisions and lack of cooperation from essential witnesses, and will soon close shop. As for the daily impeachment trial update: the three witnesses have been subpoenaed, and their depositions scheduled for Monday. Meanwhile, the WP and the LAT report on the waning popularity of the conviction-without-removal plan posed by some moderate Republicans earlier this week, whereby the President would be found guilty of the facts of the case but allowed to stay in office. The plan is drawing criticism from both ends of the spectrum: conservative Republicans fear it will siphon off pro-impeachment support, and Democrats argue that it's a backhanded way of punishing the President without satisfying Constitutional standards. "You can't be a little bit pregnant," Democratic Senator John Breaux tells the WP . Instead, most Democrats are leaning towards brisk, bipartisan, post-trial censure of the President. The NYT piece focuses on the culture clash between zealous House Managers and their more deliberative Senatorial hosts. The Senators lord it over the managers, acting "wiser and better" than their House peers, claims one irate House Republican. An LAT front pager describes how the U.S. Department of Labor has added teeth to its efforts to eliminate the wage gap between the genders. Women now make 74 cents for every dollar earned by their male co-workers-a mere 15-cent improvement since the Equal Pay Act outlawed gender-based pay discrimination way back in 1963. Now the days of simple coaxing and lobbying are over: a well-funded compliance office at Labor conducts "glass ceiling reviews" of male and female managers at businesses that hold government contracts. Those found to intentionally discriminate against women must pay punitive damages, back pay, and/or wage increases. Some businesses have called this approach too aggressive: "it's like trying to catch a fish with an A-bomb" protests one dissenter. But even more of these bombs may detonate soon: President Clinton's budget allocates more funding to equal-pay enforcement, and Congress may soon expand the 1963 Act to allow for greater damages awards. Finally, the WP describes the near-hysterical reaction to a recent foray by a much-worshipped icon who made a rare venture out to share his message with the masses. Preceded by pomp, shielded by minions, and thronged by reverent devotees, he meditated and preached on race, poverty, morality, and the significance of the coming millennium. "Children screamed. Grown women shrieked. Little girls cried from happiness," the story recounts. Sure, the pontiff was in St. Louis this week; but this story describes Michael Jordan's visit to a Washington, D.C. public school to plug his new charitable foundation. Gloating Rights Act of 1999 The New York Times , Washington Post , and Los Angeles Times lead with the issues that the Senate must soon resolve to complete its impeachment trial. The situation is also flagged in the Wall Street Journal front-page news box. With conviction and removal of President Clinton almost surely off the table, say the papers, stress will instead be on: whether or not to call any of the already deposed witnesses to the Senate chamber for questioning, whether or not to release to the public the videotapes of their depositions, and whether or not to vote on findings of fact in the case or on a formal censure of Clinton instead. Although support for these choices play out largely along party lines, the papers note that Republican support for the choices that make life more complicated for Clinton has flagged somewhat in recent days. USA Today leads with the nationwide gas wars, caused by an oil glut and petroleum industry improvements. The upshot: the national average price of a gallon of gas is now 97.9 cents--18 cents below a year ago and the lowest since 1979. Adjusted for inflation, the paper says, gas prices are the lowest in history. On the impeachment front, despite the handwriting on the wall, there are still plenty of Republicans strolling the halls of Congress with ink remover. Trent Lott, say the papers, sent Clinton a letter signed by him and half of the Republican caucus, for a total of 28 senators, requesting that the president make himself available for a deposition. But even that letter stated that the Senate would not attempt to compel Clinton to testify. One sign that there really is light now at the end of the impeachment tunnel is that according to USAT , the House managers expect to lose on their request for live testimony. Another: according to the WP , the White House acknowledged yesterday that a Democratic pep rally on the South Lawn immediately after Clinton was impeached provoked many in Congress and promised that if Clinton is not convicted the White House would be a "gloat-free zone." The LAT has this too, explicitly crediting the quote to spokesman Joe Lockhart. An LAT front-pager and a story inside the NYT report that the offices of onetime Yeltsin intimate, gezillionaire Boris Berezovsky (the LAT headline calls him the "Rasputin" of the current scene), were raided this week by government agents on the trail of Berezovsky's political espionage organization. The LAT says the raid uncovered evidence of tapped phone conversations of Yeltsin family members. An inside story at the WP piggybacks on a story in this week's New Republic amassing strong evidence that Tom DeLay, a leading congressional doubter of President Clinton's truthfulness under oath, said under oath in a civil case that he was not an officer of a Texas pest control company even though at about the same time he reported to Congress that he was the company's chairman. The Post reports that a Capitol Hill newspaper, The Hill , has turned up evidence that DeLay made further misstatements about the amount of money he was drawing from the company and also about the amount of speaking fees he received. The USAT front reports that in response to rising passenger "air rage" over poor airline service, a bipartisan bill, the "Airline Passenger Fairness Act" will be introduced in the Senate on Friday. Oddly, the story doesn't say what rights will thereby be protected, although presumably they won't include the right to intestinally offload onto the liquor cart (an actual incident). An inside story at the NYT says that the gay oriented magazine, The Advocate , reports that a gay Marine who was pseudonymously the subject of a NYT Sunday Magazine article last year appeared in several gay pornographic films while he was on active duty. (He had not, says today's story, informed the magazine of this.) The story doesn't explore whether this fact would be grounds for dismissal under the present "don't ask, don't tell" policy. Which is too bad, since it's actually an interesting test case. If a soldier is completely circumspect in his military life and makes every effort to disguise his involvement in explicitly gay-only-oriented activities to the point of using a pseudonym, etc., in what sense is he "telling"? Today's coverage of the impending Senate actions on impeachment includes a journalism tic that Today's Papers deplores. The NYT states, "Tonight, in an effort to put the President in an awkward position , more than two dozen Republican senators wrote to Clinton to ask him to voluntarily testify in the trial." The italicized motive-attributing phrase (italics added) is completely unsupported in the story. And therefore shouldn't be there. The telltale sign that such phrases represent the illicit smuggling into a story of a political opinion is that just below this the story continues, "The White House has steadfastly said that Clinton would not take such a step and instantly rejected the proposal." Forget the slight note of character build-up that comes with "steadfastly," but please do notice that this sentence does not read, "In order to make Republicans look bad, the White House has..." Tape That! Impeachment-driven press lockstep is back, with all the majors leading with the Senate's decision to admit into evidence not Monica live but Monica Memorex. According to the coverage, yesterday's Senate votes fixed the impeachment endgame and put the proceedings on course for a wrap-up next week. The end will, guess the papers, be an acquittal on both the perjury and obstruction counts, with no finding of facts in lieu of a conviction, but, after the trial, very possibly a resolution of censure. The vote not to call Lewinsky in person, note the papers, was the first one in the proceedings that didn't follow party lines: 25 Republicans voted on the winning side, against the Republican House managers. USA Today sees "impeachment fatigue" in the day's debate, and the New York Times says there was little ardor or urgency in the speeches, comparing the whole thing to a "cooling souffl,." But the Times captures a flash of emotion here and there, noting that one House manager said, "If one senator has failed to personally sit through this deposition and every deposition, that senator is not equipped to render a verdict on the impeachment trial of the President of the United States." And the Los Angeles Times reports that when the House managers asked for up to eight hours to question Lewinsky in the Senate chamber, "a clearly disgusted" Sen. Barbara Boxer reacted with an audible gasp. The decision to allow the Lewinsky deposition tape into evidence for next week's phase of the trial was reached over the objections of the White House. Both the Washington Post and NYT note that presidential counsel Gregory Craig argued in the Senate that the tape would add "to the agony, to the embarrassment, and to the humiliation" of the Clinton family. The Post points out that the Senate vote on video admissibility contains a rider that excludes any statements made by the witnesses after the end of the direct response to the last question, meaning that a statement by Jordan at the conclusion of his appearance and an apology offered to Lewinsky by a White House lawyer at the end of hers will not be disseminated. The NYT lead editorial says the real action now is the behind-the-scenes negotiations among senators to arrive at a censure resolution. Democratic senators Daniel Patrick Moynihan and Dianne Feinstein are shopping a draft that condemns President Clinton's actions as "shameless, reckless and indefensible." The White House would go for that, says the paper, but the Republicans will "rightly" insist on language reflecting that Clinton knowingly lied under oath, tampered with evidence and witnesses, and attempted to interfere in the progress of a civil rights suit. The LAT front features a piece summarizing the witness depositions. At one point, when Monica Lewinsky is asked if she thinks Bill Clinton is an intelligent man, she replies, "I think he's an intelligent president." At this remark, the room full of attorneys, congressmen and senators "erupted into laughter." And in his depo, Vernon Jordan haughtily offered his version of the separation of powers doctrine: "I do not view the president as giving me instructions." The Wall Street Journal reports that researchers have just presented evidence that drug-resistant versions of the AIDS virus are more prevalent in the U.S. than previously thought. They say 20 percent to 30 percent of those newly infected are carrying forms of the virus resistant to one of the 13 different medicines used in the combination-drug therapy most successful in treating AIDS, and that perhaps 10 percent are being exposed to viruses resistant to at least two of those drugs. The NYT front reports an incident that could become another scandal for the NYPD: A West African immigrant was shot to death by four city cops who in all pumped 41 rounds into him. The man was unarmed, and no weapon was found near his body. The NYT and WSJ report a new revelation made by the German firm Deutsche Bank in its attempt to placate Holocaust survivors whose property ended up in the bank's accounts so that it can receive approval of its planned takeover of the American financial institution Bankers Trust. It seems there was one little building project the bank helped finance but never mentioned until now: Auschwitz. The WSJ reports that Lockheed, one of the companies in the competition to develop a new fighter airplane for all the services, has thus far racked up $150 million in cost overruns. The quoted response of the general in charge of the program says a lot about the military's attitude towards sloppy management: "This isn't an end-of-the-world problem." The Journal points out that the debacle is "somewhat ironic" in that the plane is supposed to be "low-end." One glaring defect in the story: it doesn't breathe a word about what problems are causing the money hemorrhage. Timothy McVeigh, convicted Oklahoma City bomber and Ramzi Yousef, convicted World Trade Center bomber, are both inmates at a Florence, Colorado super-maximum security federal penitentiary. And according to the WP TV column, the two talk when they're in the exercise yard together--about old-time flicks they've enjoyed on Turner Classic Movies, which they see via the prison's free cable hook-up. The Post wonders if they were watching last month when TCM featured "Escape from Alcatraz," "I am a Fugitive From a Chain Gang," and "The Great Escape." Not Without a Hitch Everybody leads with the wrap-up of yesterday's impeachment trial closing arguments and the set-up of today's deliberations. The Los Angeles Times headline suggests the drama associated with a criminal trial: "President's Fate is Now in Hands of Senate Jurors." Down below in the body type, though the stories get more real. The LAT says there is "virtually no chance" President Clinton will be removed. The New York Times says his acquittal is "all but assured." And the Washington Post says the House Republican prosecutors face "near-certain defeat." Perhaps USA Today is the realest: "It's also unclear whether the Senate will formally reprimand Clinton once he's acquitted." And USAT 's headline isn't even about the what of the verdict--it's about the how: "Closed Senate Debate Likely." That's because there don't appear to be the 67 votes required to suspend the rules, a point that the WP and NYT also cover in additional front-page stories. The NYT lead editorial finds the prospect of closing the doors on the impeachment deliberations "inconceivable." For the LAT , the main unanswered question is whether enough Republicans would join the Democrats to keep either of the two impeachment articles from winning a simple majority. In light of the presumed outcome, the WP sees the rhetoric coming yesterday from both sides--each of the 13 House prosecutors and President Clinton's lawyer Charles Ruff--aimed not so much at the Senate jurors as at the history books. The NYT notes that Ruff worked in references to peace in the Middle East and that Henry Hyde dipped into Henry V's Agincourt speech, as well as quotations from de Gaulle, Septimius Severus, Horace Mann, Edward Gibbon and Saul Bellow. The WP notices the cumulative effect of this hot air front moving through: One senator after another getting up from his desk to stretch and wander to the rear of the chamber. The only thing resembling impeachment news is the Hitchens/Blumenthal saga. The LAT and WP leads report that Henry Hyde wrote a letter to the Senate asking for a postponement in the start of deliberations to allow the new questions about Sidney Blumenthal's truthfulness to be addressed. He was turned down. Christopher Hitchens himself makes an appearance on the WP op-ed page: "What a fuss! What a load of phony differences without distinctions! Blumenthal has already told the grand jury that Clinton concocted this foul story, with its equally foul implications. He has now admitted to telling some such version to 'friends' of his as well as journalists (and I still consider myself to be both). That story got into the press, a lot. The message was therefore delivered to Ms Lewinsky. QED." Hitchens goes on to say that he devoutly wishes he'd written an intended column on the matter a week earlier, so that he "could have been a truer friend" by warning Blumenthal off making "any unguarded statement." But that having not happened, he sees Blumenthal as "being readied to be used as yet another human sacrifice by his employer." One question about all this: Was it fair for the Post to give Hitchens the room to defend himself when the legal constraints Blumenthal is under no doubt kept him from being able to write a column of his own about the matter? Last summer, when the U.S. destroyed a purported pharmaceutical plant in the Sudan with cruise missiles, saying that it was in fact making nerve gas for Osama bin Laden, the NYT quickly raised doubts about the government's account of the facility. Today it raises more, with an inside piece stating that chemists hired by the plant's owners examined soil samples from the plant and found no traces of chemical weapons compounds. One problem though: although the piece makes it clear that these chemists have the same monetary tie to an interested party as any expert witness, the headline does not. It simply says, "Experts Find No Arms Chemicals at Bombed Sudan Plant." Not a false headline, to be sure, but a misleadingly un-nuanced one. A NYT front-pager warns that the social ill effects of fearing the Y2K problem--such as bank runs, hoarding of food and gas, fires caused by newly acquired wood stoves and a rise in gun violence accompanying the upsurge in gun sales to those fearing post-millennial-bug civil unrest--could end up being much worse than any pure outcome of the problem itself, especially since the actual problem is being attacked with billions of dollars of remediation. According to a story flagged on the Wall Street Journal front, not all of the hoarding will be done by cammoed guys in Montana cabins either. It turns out that in anticipation of possible Y2K-driven supply interrupts, companies like Xerox are planning to take on more inventory than usual in the last part of 1999. Which is driving a search for extra warehouse space and could even effect the GNP. And wait, that doesn't include the 1.999K problem! For that, check out the WSJ 's "Work Week." It seems that certain older software systems use "9999" to signal an error or the end of the program. Which means September 9, 1999 may be a bit of a glitchfest. There are, says the paper, nine such problematic dates this year. President Company Not Excluded USA Today , the Los Angeles Times and New York Times lead with today's anticipated Senate not guilty votes. The Washington Post , for the second day in a row, gives the top of the paper to something else--today to the horrors of North Korea's famine--and tucks impeachment just underneath, but festooned by the front's boldest headline type. The papers spend most of their impeachment ink counting votes and recounting bits of closed-door speeches press-released to them. They note that Republican Sen. Olympia Snowe's announcement that she will vote to acquit President Clinton on both impeachment articles means there's a very good chance the perjury charge won't even get a simple majority, and some chance that the obstruction charge won't either. It's also reported that Republican Susan Collins might vote no on one or both articles. The LAT is most definite about this, citing sources close to her saying Collins will vote no twice. On the other hand, say the papers, two other Republicans also widely thought to be not guilty voters, Sen. Gordon Smith and Sen. Robert Bennett, announced their intention to convict on both articles. The LAT quotes Bennett as predicting that "Clinton" will become "a synonym for an elegant, well-crafted lie." But this isn't much worse than the remarks by Sen. Dianne Feinstein quoted by the NYT : "The president acted immorally. He acted recklessly. He acted disgracefully. He willfully misled the American people, the members of his Cabinet, his staff and his judicial system. In doing so, he brought shame and dishonor upon the office of the President and especially upon himself." And she's a Clinton supporter . The papers say that after the midday impeachment vote a formal censure of Clinton will fail. Then there will be an attempt at an informal censure, which, the LAT explains, would be read into the record but not acted on. The NYT says that the day's solemn mood was "somewhat tarnished" by reports that Clinton planned an all-out drive to help Democrats win back the House. Wonder why the Times doesn't mention that it was where those reports first appeared. The papers mention that Clinton plans to address the nation tomorrow after the trial's conclusion and that he will be mindful not to repeat the celebratory mood of that post-impeachment South Lawn pep rally. The WP quotes Sen. Bob Kerrey's response to the question, What did he want to hear from Clinton today? "As little as possible." A story reefered on the WP front quotes "several knowledgeable Democrats" as saying that Hillary Clinton will seriously consider whether to run for the Senate from New York in 2000 once the impeachment trial is over. The NYT top front features an interview with Linda Tripp, complete with a large color photo of the heavily made up and made over stay-at-home federal bureaucrat. According to the story, Tripp says she betrayed Monica Lewinsky to save her from being abused by President Clinton. "I would hope some other mom would do for my daughter what I did for Monica, despite the fact that it looks horrible...," the paper quotes Tripp saying as she broke down in tears. Tripp also says that it was Lucianne Goldberg's idea for her to talk to Ken Starr, and for her to reveal Lewinsky's affair to Paula Jones' lawyers. Tripp also tells the Times that she had her first discussion with the Jones lawyers in October, 1997. She also admits telling Lewinsky the lie that she was turning over on Monica because Tripp had also been the target of a Ken Starr sting operation. Everybody fronts the precedent-setting verdict of a Brooklyn federal jury finding that several gun manufacturers were legally responsible for the criminal use of firearms, awarding $500,000 in damages to a New York teenager wounded in a 1995 shooting. The decision is likely, say the papers, to lead more cities and more shooting victims to mount such liability lawsuits. It's a bit curious that the WP , a paper read in a city with its share of shootings, chooses to put the story on the very bottom of the front page, below a story about the scandal-driven rise in sex talk and one about the possibility of more flights being added at National Airport. Similarly, why is the Post waiting until page 32 to tell us that the U.S. has decided to send more than 2,000 Marines into Kosovo as part of a multi-national peace-keeping force? And why is everybody else likewise paying little attention to this? A LAT front-pager claims that despite a stock price and profits that continue to climb, Microsoft's power in the computing world is beginning to wane. The story points out that in contrast to a year ago, a few computer companies are now offering PCs not just with Netscape instead of Internet Explorer but even with non-Windows operating systems. Also, the story notes even though Internet company consolidation continues to proceed at a furious pace, Microsoft hasn't made a major acquisition since the DOJ brought its case last year. Uh, like, wasn't that the problem in the first place? The Wall Street Journal "Washington Wire" reports that the New Hampshire state Democratic Party chairman says Clinton shouldn't gloat when he attends a fund-raiser in his state next week, but adds, "I'm not sure anyone [there] can control their passion." Free Willy Banner headlines in the New York Times , the Los Angeles Times , and the Washington Post announce the acquittal of President William Jefferson Clinton. All three papers feature prominent subheadings emphasizing that the two articles of impeachment failed to muster a simple majority. Article 1, alleging Clinton committed perjury in the grand jury, was defeated by a vote of 55 to 45. Ten Republicans crossed party lines in rejecting the charge. Article 2 garnered five fewer Republican cross-overs and failed on a 50-50 vote. All 45 Democrats voted for full acquittal. The Post devotes its entire front page to Clinton's acquittal, yet the Times is the only paper of the big three to headline the sinking of Democratic Senator Dianne Feinstein's attempt to force a vote on censure. Although the Senate voted 56 to 43 to consider the motion denouncing Clinton's "shameful, reckless and indefensible" conduct, pro-censure Senators fell short of the two-thirds required. The Post provides great detail on the staging of the drama's denouement. Its overview story reports that Senate staff members scripted each stage of the final day's proceedings, down to the language Chief Justice Rehnquist used to announce the President's acquittal. The predictability of the proceeding is noted in a front-page trial journal in the Post . This piece reports that the solemnity of the voting was disturbed by murmuring in the press gallery only when Republican Senators Stevens, Thompson and Warner voted not guilty on the perjury article. The NYT overview notes that "Democrats and some Republicans argued that the votes signaled that the House had erred in sending forth impeachment articles." The story does not say which Republican Senators advanced this view. The LAT highlights the collegiality that marked the closing of the trial, headlining its scene-setter "Bipartisan Spirit Soars." The Post quotes lead manger Henry Hyde saying "the genuflection to bipartisanship has a certain ring of civility to it, but it means one side is disadvantaged, and we were." The LAT reports that back slapping abounded after votes were cast. The WP takes note of the presentation of a plaque to the Chief Justice (surely an extra-constitutional action.) The Post and the Times front separate features on the President's rose garden apology and expression of "profound sorrow" for triggering the events of the past year. The Times story emphasizes that the speech struck a conciliatory and hopeful tone. Though the paper reported two days ago that Clinton had vowed to exact retribution from House prosecutors at the ballot box, it does not pause to compare and contrast. All three papers front separate articles on the reaction of the House impeachment managers, particularly Hyde's statement that he does not think Independent Counsel Kenneth Starr should indict President Clinton. The Post notes that Rep. Asa Hutchinson also expressed the opinion that it was "time for [Starr] to finish any report and move on." Perhaps that was what Rep. Lindsey Graham was getting at when the stated, "the President has been cleansed." In other news, according to a story reefered on the front page of the Times and reported inside the Post and the LAT , Clinton will announce on Saturday that American troops will be deployed to Kosovo if a satisfactory agreement is reached between the "warring parties" currently negotiating in a chateau outside Paris. The tentatively planned 4,000 Americans troops would form a small part of the "predominately European" force totaling 28,000. The President and Secretary of State Madeline Albright floated this plan last week, but promised to consult with Congress before making any formal commitments. The Times notes that the mission would probably be headed by a British general. What will Congress think about this? While all of the papers devote much space to the long-run ramifications of the impeachment trial, the WP and the LAT bury what could represent an important change in Presidential elections. The National Association of Secretaries of State adopted a plan that, if implemented, would reverse the increasing compression of presidential primaries, and the importance that they place on early fundraising. The plan preserves Iowa and New Hampshire as the first caucus and primary respectively. The remaining states would be grouped into four regions: East, South, Midwest, and West. The states in these regions would hold their primaries in early March, April, May, and June - with the order of the primaries rotating each Presidential election. The story notes that getting the necessary approval by the states and political parties could be difficult. At the close of yesterday's drama, Congressional players were confronted with the bittersweet question of what they would do next. According to the WP , Sen. John Breaux planned to head home for Mardi Gras and Rep. James Rogan exulted "I'm going to Disneyland! On ice." Rep. Henry Hyde seemed to have less well-formed plans, he simply declared: "You're looking at a free man!" Clinton's Back On Drugs The LAT, NYT and WP lead with President Clinton's quickie trip to Mexico for a meeting with President Ernesto Zedillo that focused mostly on the two countries' future plans for combating drug trafficking. USAT puts Clinton in Mexico on page nine, leading instead with the Army's expected announcement today that it will initiate the creation of quick response "strike forces" of 3,000 to 5,000 troops to ultimately replace its current World War II-era organization based on divisions of between 12,000 and 15,000 soldiers. The new smaller units will be designed to better meet the exigencies of post-Cold War threats and scenarios. One issue not decided yet, says the paper, is whether the time-honored names and insignia of current divisions will survive in the new scheme. The backdrop to the Clinton trip is the continuing skepticism in Washington about the vigor of Mexico's prosecution of the drug war. The papers take Clinton's remarks yesterday that Mexico should not be penalized for its performance in this area to mean that he plans to recommend later this month that Congress again certify the country as a reliable anti-drug partner. Failure to do so, explain the NYT and LAT , would mean possible trade sanctions against Mexico and a frosting of relations between the two countries. The visit also addressed non-drug matters, the papers report. The two presidents signed agreements to increase air travel between their countries, to suppress the spread of tuberculosis, and to improve communications between law enforcement on both sides of the border to cut down on migrant death and injury. And according to the two Times , both Clinton and Zedillo, in their only public appearance of the visit, cited the success of NAFTA. In true Beltway fashion, the WP spends most of its lead discussing the visit's domestic political angle--that for the first time in more than a year, Clinton can undertake a foreign trip without being dogged by scandal. Indeed, the Post big print relegates "Mexico" to the story's subhead and never mentions drugs or trade, opting instead for the headline: "Clinton Enters a Renewal Phase." A WP front-pager looks beneath the veneer of Elizabeth Dole's self-described accomplishments as head of the Red Cross to discover in her tenure there a more mixed record. Yes, she is a fund-raiser par excellence, and she did preside over the resolution of the agency's tainted blood problems. But, the paper says a 1996 outside study of the Red Cross found Dole's management style wanting and critics have noted her tendency to add political allies to her payroll, including Mari Masing Will, the communications director for her husband's 1996 campaign. Then there was the prime-time television Red Cross "spectacular" made with $1.3 million of the charity's funds that prominently featured Ms. Dole and ran eleven days before she stepped down to consider a presidential run. The WSJ reports that net income at companies in the Dow Jones Global stock index rose 3 percent in the 4th quarter, a sharp improvement over the third quarter, which the paper takes to signify that the American consumer's appetite continues apace. The NYT and LAT run front-page obits on Watergate figure John Ehrlichman, while the WP and USAT put theirs inside. The H-bomb-headed domestic policy maven turned criminal was convicted and imprisoned for his role in the Watergate cover-up and the burglary of the office of Daniel Ellsberg's psychiatrist. Henry Kissinger is quoted in the LAT epitaph saying of Ehrlichman that "he was a victim of the Vietnam War and a tough-guy atmosphere in the Nixon White House." The NYT effort credits Ehrlichman with a bit more of a stand-up attitude than that, quoting him saying in 1977 that he ran into trouble because "I abdicated my moral judgments." A reader's letter to the WP notices something telling in a previous Post story about "deadwood" federal employees. The story had mentioned that in its effort to better understand the problem, the government's Office of Personnel Management had "interviewed 200 supervisors who directly managed 3,114 employees. Of that total, 429 were supervisors themselves." In other words, notes the reader, 629 supervisors in the sample were directing the work of 2,685 nonsupervisory workers, which translates to one manager for every 4.3 employees. Spring Breakdown The whimper-not-a-bang end for now at the Kosovo talks leads at the Washington Post and Los Angeles Times . USA Today puts the talks on page 9 and instead leads with the guilty verdict in the race-tinged dragging murder case in Jasper, Texas. The New York Times , which off-leads the Kosovo talks and fronts the murder conviction, goes with the Senate's imminent reevaluation of the independent counsel statute, which, the paper says, will probably either not be renewed at all or will be substantially revised, primarily because of widespread dissatisfaction with the way the law worked in the Kenneth Starr investigation of President Clinton. The WP runs a similar piece inside. USAT 's news section "cover story" on the statute is more categorical, saying flatly, "there is virtually no chance that a scandal-weary Congress" will renew it. Rashomon reporting reigns supreme in the papers' coverage of the Kosovo talks. The talks ended with nothing signed, no peacekeeping forces in place, and no NATO airstrikes. Instead, there was the surprise quartum quid of the Albanian negotiators saying they "understood and accepted" the proffered Western peace plan but would take a few weeks off to check in with the home folks before signing anything. The WP sees this as a "major setback" for U.S. and European leaders and drives home the tenuousness of the situation by noting renewed Albanian vs. Serb fighting and passing along U.S. intelligence reports of Yugoslav troop movements "in apparent preparation for a large-scale offensive." Somehow though, the NYT goes with the glass-half-full headline, "Kosovo Albanians, in Reversal, Say They Will Sign Peace Pact," and calls the outcome a "limited success." But even within such a cheery take, the paper has to admit that it will be difficult in the interim for NATO to intimidate or contain Slobodan Milosevic's forces. The LAT sees a "piecemeal success," but does point out that the result is very close to what only a few days ago Madeleine Albright called "a worthless piece of paper." (Actually, the LAT informs, the non-result is on 81 pieces of paper.) The LAT further brings out the day's non-accomplishments by noting that thus far, the Serbs have refused to even discuss military and police issues. Only the Wall Street Journal points out high and clear that the Albanians' promise to sign would quickly evaporate if they meet with strong internal criticism before the talks reconvene. USAT reports that white supremacist John William King was convicted of capital murder in Jasper in less than 2 hours and that the jury immediately plunged into the case's penalty phase, which could result in a death sentence. Two other white men are awaiting trials for their alleged part in the grisly murder of a 49-year-old black man. The LAT 's coverage of the case includes some good detail on courtroom spin: King appeared in court with his hair grown out so as to cover the pentagram tattooed on his skull and in a turtleneck shielding the Nazi SS symbols on his body. The WP reports that King's father offered his condolences to the dead man's family. Contemporary reporting has a hard time lighting on a topic unless it can find a way to make it into a political story, preferably one about a personality conflict. Witness the story about competing African trade bills inside the WP . One bill was devised by Rep. Jesse L. Jackson Jr. and the other by Rep. Charles Rangel. So naturally, the Post waits until the ninth paragraph of a fourteen paragraph story to say what the two bills are and how they differ, and none too clearly at that. Far more important apparently, is taking up the top of the piece with the back and forth sniping between the two bill sponsors. Both the NYT and WP report that tonight, NBC will broadcast its long-held interview with Juanita Broaddrick, who claims that in 1978 Bill Clinton, while Arkansas Attorney General, raped her. The Times , which has not previously covered the story per se, weighs in with a lengthy account of its halting path thus far. The paper includes this interesting detail, which drives home the unusual course the Broaddrick story took getting to the WSJ op-ed page: Alan Murray, the Journal 's Washington bureau chief, says he first found out about his paper's article by reading about it on Matt Drudge's web site. Marine Corpse Maneuvers USA Today leads with the acquittal of Marine pilot Richard Ashby in connection with the deaths of 20 people that occurred when the airplane he was piloting struck an Italian ski lift in 1998. The story is also top front with pictures at the other majors. The New York Times and Washington Post go with the announcement yesterday by Republican congressional leaders that their budget plan will set aside money for Social Security while also providing for a tax cut. The Post says this is a vague proposal, with the size of the tax cut still undefined. But the paper does say that over the next ten years, the GOP aims to use all the non-Social Security budget surplus for tax relief, while President Clinton would devote some of it to Medicare, special savings accounts, and extra defense and domestic spending. The NYT says the GOP proposed tax cut before the 2000 election will be quite modest, growing to "historic" dimensions only in subsequent years. The Los Angeles Times leads with bad news for California's schools: low reading scores. The death of former Supreme Court justice Harry Blackmun, age 90, makes everybody's front, the headlines making it clear that his authorship of the Roe v. Wade opinion is at this point viewed as his signal legacy. USAT reports that Ashby's mother and sister squealed with joy at the verdict, but that Ashby took the news undemonstratively. (The paper says he was sitting when the verdict was read. Unlikely. The other papers have him standing.) Relatives of the victims, says USAT , sat in "shocked silence." USAT , the WP and LAT report that the Italian prime minister, in the U.S. to meet today with President Clinton, said he was "baffled" by the verdict. The NYT says he was "infuriated." The WP and NYT make it clear just how sweeping the acquittal was: Not only was Ashby cleared of involuntary manslaughter and negligent homicide but also of charges of dereliction of duty and destruction of property, even though he was flying lower and faster than the rules allowed. None of the papers mention it, but the trial outcome is part of a disturbing recent trend in U.S. military justice. What do the U.S. Navy shootdown of an Iranian airliner, the "friendly fire" missile attacks on Allied troops during the Gulf War, the Tailhook sexual assaults, and the U.S. Air Force shootdown of two U.S. Army helicopters in the Iraqi no-fly zone all have in common? Miraculously, the military justice system found that none of these actions was anybody's fault. The LAT lead says a new federal assessment of California's fourth graders' reading skills shows that only 20 percent of them are proficient readers, putting the state second to last (only in front of Hawaii) in the nation in this category. As if realizing what the study suggests about the cognitive prowess of LAT readers, the paper points out that the federal assessment "also" showed that eighty percent of the state's fourth graders are not proficient readers. The Wall Street Journal main "Politics and Policy" piece argues that President Clinton's decision to keep his distance from the press in the wake of the Lewinsky and Broaddrick allegations has hurt the public's understanding of his policies. And will hurt historians' understanding of them as well. Follow up: Yesterday, in discussing the Supreme Court ruling that physically disabled children are entitled to the provision of publicly-funded continuous classroom care, this space wondered how it was that none of the papers covering the decision seemed at all curious about how the disabled boy in the case could have been paralyzed in a motorcycle accident as a four-year-old. Well, Today's Papers couldn't take it any more and quickly found out some further interesting facts: The boy was injured when, after his father put him on the back of a motorcycle, the baby blanket that the father placed around his shoulders became entwined with the cycle's drive shaft, breaking the boy's neck and snapping his spinal cord. The parents sued the motorcycle manufacturer and accepted a settlement offer of $1.3 million. Leaving aside the question of how it is that anything about the motorcycle design or manufacture could have been nearly as implicated as the father's ill-advised decision to put the four-year-old on a motorcycle, it should be noted that that $1.3 million was primarily proffered to pay for the costs entailed by the boy's injury. Hence, here's a crucial fact not reported in any of yesterday's stories: the parents had already been given more than enough money (by their own estimate) to provide for the additional cost of keeping him in a mainstream classroom. The WP reports on one rather peculiar preparation made for Clinton's visit to the Interior Department yesterday. Seems Interior honchos decided to use a 5-foot-wide version of the departmental seal as the event backdrop, a seal featuring blue, snow-capped mountains, an orange sunset, and a buffalo grazing. Problem was, it was discovered late in the game that the buffalo is an anatomically correct he. And that Clinton when he spoke at Interior would be standing, wags the Post , "right near its anatomical correctness." Hence the last-minute airbrush job by government workers, avoiding the appearance of any interspecies sensuous gestures. Twentieth-Century Foxes BRENTWOOD--Twenty-one million dollars for Leonardo DiCaprio to star in American Psycho , whose main virtue is it allows him to apply jumper cables to women's body parts? Can you say, "I hate my young female audience?" But it's nice he's getting the big payday, because after last week, you'd think this town had in it for Italians. First, of course, came Frank Sinatra, his death the beau ideal of an on-time departure, given his image's pendulum swing over the last three decades from ultracool to camp to ultracool once more. Sinatra--the only celebrity who ever sued a journalist for writing a book that, in his view, made his life seem too boring--was pronounced dead in the same Cedars-Sinai emergency room where one week earlier a 50-year-old man collapsed and died of a Viagra overdose, his heart seizing up after taking just four of the tablets. (Coincidence? Uh, probably.) Then came the news that Mike Piazza, the Los Angeles' Dodgers star catcher, had been shipped off to the Florida Marlins--the first major move for the Dodgers since the baseball team was purchased by Rupert Murdoch's Fox. Piazza was the Dodgers' best player on the field, its most popular with the fans, and its most expensive to keep. He and his rocket scientist of an agent had recently turned down a six-year offer from the Dodgers worth more than $80 million. Piazza publicly dissed the Dodgers' proposal, which made the Marlins deal look like management's up-your-nose-with-a-rubber-hose payback, especially given Piazza's long-running romance with the SoCal lifestyle. Baseball experts, such as the godlike Peter Gammons, have noted that the trade leaves the Dodgers with an improved team ... but what's interesting about the deal is the way it flies in the face of traditional L.A. sports-team wisdom, which holds that any team in this showbiz-savvy market needs stars--marquee players--to attract attention. Exhibit A: Jerry West's Laker teams, now seeking a basketball title with movie and rap star Shaquille O'Neal alongside fresh-faced phenom Kobe Bryant. Exhibit B: the faceless and fan-less L.A. Clippers. Piazza was that kind of A-list star, but Fox didn't care--a decision in keeping with the studio's Hollywood strategy. Fox has taken a lot of heat for being the kind of company which didn't seem to care about shmoozing talent. When they wouldn't pony up huge bucks for TV and film producer James L. Brooks after he brought them The Simpsons , Big , and The War of the Roses , he took still more money at Sony. Years later, Fox bid goodbye to the producing/directing team of Dean Devlin and Roland Emmerich, who've just made Godzilla for Sony. Last summer, Fox made Speed 2 without Keanu Reeves, and lost a bundle. Earlier this year, they took plenty of heat for not paying Jim Cameron despite reaping zillions from Titanic. The results? Jim Brooks is still a brilliant moviemaker, but while he gave Sony Jerry Maguire and As Good as It Gets, he also saddled that studio with the $40 million non-starter I'll Do Anything. Godzilla will open, but its legs are suspect. Jim Cameron's pending divorce may go further toward explaining why he didn't arrange to see a lot of money from his blockbuster right away than Fox's greed does. Meanwhile, Fox is doing fine. It has the X-Files movie on the way, a $60 million picture with a cult following so large, the film'll get to $100 million without breathing hard--even though it was months after shooting had ended before the studio's marketing head was allowed to read past page 60 in the script. Something About Mary, a Peter Farrelly comedy, has nifty word-of-mouth. And Fox has the right to distribute George Lucas's inevitably lucrative Star Wars prequels. And while Hollywood struggles to find meaning in Titanic and Leo-mania, Fox's newly-minted, longterm deal with Aussie auteur Baz Luhrmann--who directed DiCaprio in Romeo and Juliet --shows that they do get it, after all. Titanic was an impossibly bold undertaking, cost $200 million, and made five times its cost worldwide. Romeo and Juliet was a slickly-shot retelling of an timeless story, cost $19 million and made more than five times its cost worldwide. Which success would appear less taxing to a studio's resources and more easy to repeat? Fox's star-averse approach hasn't always made them popular--just ask all the kids still wearing Mike Piazza's number--but it might make them Most Likely to Succeed. -- Chris Connelly The Kip Kinkels of the 19th Century First Jonesboro, now Springfield--are schoolyard shoot-'em-ups the product of inadequate gun regulation or violence on TV? Let Culturebox stop you before you debate this silly point again! The answer is guns, whatever Sissela "Mayhem" Bok may tell the New York Times . How does Culturebox know? Teenagers have been up to this sort of thing since long before South Park and the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers . Take this scene from Culturebox's favorite childhood book, Farmer Boy by Laura Ingalls Wilder, based on Wilder's husband's memories of growing up in upstate New York in the early 19th century: Almanzo Wilder, 9, is loath to go to school because he hates watching the school's five toughest teens beat up yet another teacher and drive him out of town. Ingalls writes: "These big boys were sixteen or seventeen years old and they came to school only in the middle of the winter term. They came to thrash the teacher and break up the school. They boasted that no teacher could finish the winter term, and no teacher had." Literary embellishment? The exaggerations of memory? Culturebox called Joseph Kett, a professor at the University of Virginia and the leading historian of adolescence in America. Kett cites an 1837 report written by the father of public education himself, Horace Mann. In it, Mann calls for reform to correct an intractable problem: the "breaking up of rural schools." "It had the status of a rural folk practice," says Kett. "Schoolmasters often expected to be tossed out the window. Sometimes it was just a winter ritual to let off steam. Other times it was not so much fun." Other school activies common in the early 19th-century, according to Kett: wild student riots on college campuses, sometimes leading to the deaths of professors or locals (in the 1820s, Harvard students set off a keg of gunpowder); high school duels involving knives or guns, sometimes culminating in the deaths of students; scrimmages between higher and lower classes, sometimes leading to massive injuries on one side or the other, or both. What calmed schools down in the latter half of the century? The introduction of less brutal disciplinary methods; sports, particularly football; the increased presence of girls; the levelling off of class differences between students and teachers. (Students, who were usually wealthier than their teachers, regularly underscored that point by beating the teachers up.) What about guns? "Guns were not as ubiqitous at the time as you might think," says Kett. "They were very expensive because they had to be handmade." That began to change in mid-century, with the development of small-arms manufacturing. So where were the random shooters of the second half of the 19th-century? "You have to remember that the Kip Kinkels of the 1850s weren't in school," says Kett. "Those kinds of kids just didn't go. If you were very unhappy, you took off and went somewhere else. The kid in the state of perpetual rage, he'd probably wind up on a whaler." --Judith Shulevitz This Cock-eyed Caravan Item : Police release Phil Hartman 911 call. No one would ever accuse Culturebox of not being interested in the foibles of the famous. But the by-now routine procedure of making public the tape of a frantic, teary cry for help has never failed to shock and appall. Surely no one believes that the reason these tapes are made public is because the people have a right to know if their emergency services were performed appropriately. Item : Spice Girls lose Ginger. Now this is news, and not just because it got one of those great Brit tabloid expressions, "blazing row," into papers worldwide. Who, if anyone, will replace her? Culturebox keeps imagining the Spice handlers sitting in a conference room mulling over prospects ("Mother of God! It's another fax from Shirley MacLaine!") At first our money was on Marilu Henner -- you know: red hair, kinda curvy, sings and dances, good with the media -- and Culturebox thinks "Taxi Spice" has some zip as a name. But to keep their position as the most-talked about group in England, it's clear whom the Girls must hire: Paul "Gazza" Gascoigne, the once-brilliant, always-troubled soccer star who was recently denied a spot on the British World Cup squad, and in the process blew the Spice Girls off the front page and next to the recipes and the crossword puzzle. Item : Rockers to raise awareness for plight of Tibet with D.C. benefit shows. The way rock & roll has been selling this year--as in, Not At All--Tibet may need to stage a raising-awareness benefit for the plight of the electric guitar. Item : Leonardo DiCaprio offered $21 million for American Psycho . Does everyone realize now that they got taken? That he never had any intention whatsoever of doing this movie? His list of "approved directors" allegedly featured just two names: Martin Scorsese and Stanley Kubrick. (Hey, why not ask for David Lean while you're at it?) From here, it looks an awful lot as if the whole purpose of this charade was to get a little faux buzz for an all-but-unknown production company...and in the process, get DiCaprio's price locked in for all to see--above the fold in Variety --at twenty-one big ones. Mission accomplished...until people actually started taking the prospect seriously, and in the wake of the bad press for Leo's taking the role of a sadist, everyone released statements denying that anyone had agreed to anything. Hollywood historians will recall when CAA's ace agent Ron Meyer locked in Sylvester Stallone's price at $20 million per by cutting a three-picture deal for Sly at Universal. One year later, Meyer was running Universal. None of those movies has ever been made. Item : Si Newhouse buys Wired . To: Si From: Si Re: Plans 1) Assure Louis and Jane: You still matter! Founding editor = permanent voice in growth of Wired ! Move forward together! 2) Ask James T.: whatever happened to Annie Flanders? You know, the one who started Details ? 3) Tell Anna W.: Your couch is the biggest! 4) Wired BOBook: Horo(cyber)scope! Take old "Athena Starwoman" column, change "planets" to "processors," "Saturn" to "San Jose," "Mercury rising" to "digital revolution." 5) Confide to Graydon: no one else has a couch your size! 6) Slip "Seinfeld Online" piece to Jerry S. Take out reference to AOL handle, YADASTUD 7) Lunch with Ruth W. Convey message: your couch rules! 8) New Republic piece on Jukt Software -- not bad! Why didn't Wired have this? 9) Commission feature: Bridget Jones's ONLINE diary 10) Assure Tina B: your couch eats all theirs for lunch! -- Chris Connelly Potemkin Villages Was director Peter Weir poking gentle fun at Seaside, Fla., when he set The Truman Show there? Were the faux-neighborliness and picture-perfectness a hint that he considers the planned community, with its gingerbread cottages and white-picket fences and Yale-trained architects and grand terminology ("The New Urbanism") and grander utopian ideals, a Potemkin Village? After all, even this architectural utopia has turned out to have its downsides: onerous zoning and architectural restrictions, rules about what you can and cannot do with your garden, a general atmosphere of community-mindedness that can grate on a soul, if that soul (like Truman) starts to develop a live-free-or-die approach to things. ... If so, the satire has gone over viewers' heads. Seaside town officials have told the Hollywood Reporter that as soon as the movie opened, they started getting calls from tourists looking to rent one of the 270 cottages available to renters. One of the movie's producers commented, "I recall we made 'Witness' (in 1985), and the following year tourism went up 39% in Lancaster County (Pa.)." ... Which reminds Culturebox that the first maxim of movies debunking the illusion of movies is: It doesn't matter how devastating your expos, of an illusion, if the illusion's a pretty one, some people will always want a piece of it. ... Speaking of The Truman Show : What if the Library of Congress announced an event celebrating the top 100 American novels, to be chosen from a list of 400, 95 percent of which just happened to have been published by publishing firms that had donated big money to the event? Or if the Met was to pick the 100 best American paintings, most of which were painted with Windsor and Newton oils, a major sponsor? Seem corrupt to you? So why is the American Film Institute doing the same thing with its top 100 films, to be chosen from among 400 preselected studio movies, when the sponsors are ... Warner Bros., Twentieth Century Fox, Disney, Miramax, Columbia/TriStar, MGM/UA, Paramount, Universal, Polygram, HBO, Republic Pictures, LIVE Entertainment, and Orion. And what is the stated purpose of the event, which will be broadcast on CBS and promoted by Newsweek ? To stimulate video rentals. ... And as long as we're asking annoying questions: Where are all the great films of John Cassavetes, most of which have not yet been released on video? ( Shadows , which is on the list, is not one of his best--it just happens to be out on video.) Ditto for, say, a dozen great directors and long-acknowledged classics? But second-guessing the list is too easy a sport. The more important questions: Why are we selling off our greatest cultural heritage to the highest bidder? OK, OK, Culturebox understands that the dictates of the market supersede nitpicky aesthetic judgments, no matter how right they happen to be. But must we celebrate our tainted taste on television? -- Judith Shulevitz Great Moments in Flytrap Lit First and foremost, of course, my colleague David Plotz's review of three quickie Flytrap books. But after that, New York Times editorial writer Anthony Lewis's column praising philosopher Thomas Nagel's essay in the August 14 issue of the Times Literary Supplement , and the essay itself. In it, Nagel makes two obvious but overlooked points: 1. Civilization is impossible without distinctions drawn between private and public life, and between the inner and the outer self; and 2. A society governed by politicians without private lives or inner selves is a society governed by madmen or cretins. Two caveats. In his column, Lewis uses the philosopher's more finely-tuned prose as an occasion to bash everyone who, in Lewis's words, "let[s] it all hang out." By the time Lewis is through attacking everyone who exemplies this Sixties-ish phrase (Joyce Maynard, Paul Theroux, anyone who might have criticized JFK's sexual escapades during his administration), you wonder whether any speech about the sexual behavior of public figures is worth protecting. Aren't there some occasions (date rape, say, or wife-beating) where we'd want to niggle or quibble? The virtue of Nagel's essay is precisely that he doesn't go overboard the way Lewis does. He defends privacy without disparaging the gains of the past 30 years. He is for the sexual revolution--and who wants to go back to the days when the mention of private acts was so taboo we had no way to talk about domestic violence or flagrant abuses of power? Nagel's more subtle complaint is that an increase in sexual tolerance has been transmogrified into an increase in sexual shaming: "What looked initially like a growth of freedom has culminated in the reinstitution of the public pillory." Second caveat, this time with Nagel. As often happens when intellectuals discuss Flytrap, Nagel lapses into a tone of world-weary, almost European snobbishness, declaring that America's inability to respect the rules of civility reveals its immaturity as a society. But the immaturity of American papers is nothing next to the immaturity of the British tabloids, and not even our worst moments of national hysteria (this is definitely one of them) can be compared to the worst moments of European hysteria. Speaking of the National Gossip State ... Here are Culturebox's contributions, stolen mostly from Variety : A new book is about to come out that seems likely to amount to a city-wide coming out: Open Secret: Gay Hollywood 1928-1998 . Tom Cruise has already threatened to sue, even though the author, David Ehrenstein, says the book only raises rumors of Cruise's homosexuality in order to put them to rest. ... The very latest in product placement: potentially, you. MGM will auction off a role in its remake of the 1968 Thomas Crown Affair to the highest bidder (the opening price is $10,000). The auction is advertised in MGM's retail catalogue, but, the catalogue copy states, there is "no guarantee that [the role] will be included in the film's final edited version." ... Now that Leonardo Di Caprio has spurned Lions Gate Films and American Psycho , the production company is trying to lure back the director it had rudely kicked off the project, Mary Harron ( I Shot Andy Warhol ). Though the whole thing was her idea in the first place, she was dropped the minute Di Caprio expressed interest and turned an arty $10-million feature into a $40-million vehicle for himself. Sic transit gloria Hollywood. -- Judith Shulevitz Fun for the Whole Family The WB network's hit family series 7 th Heaven has been celebrated for its uncommon pleasantness and normalcy by publications as disparate as The New Yorker , Spin , and TV Guide . Now, you can indulge the show in that fashion if you've seen it once or twice, but after repeated viewing you can't help suspecting that its niceness is the punch line to a dark joke. The show revolves around the Camden family: a genial Christian minister, his tightly wound wife, their seven children ( seven children?), and a big house in a small town in California. The children bring home the social diseases of the day--sex and drugs, mainly--and the parents dispel them with the dreamlike reasonableness of a ministerial counseling session. The 18-year-old son is grounded for coming in late? Just when you expect him to clutch his head and moan, like James Dean in Rebel Without a Cause , "You're tearing me apart!," he smiles cheerfully at his punishment and trots off to his room. A bottle of over-the-counter speed is discovered in the 16-year-old daughter's bedroom? She didn't know it contained the dangerous but not yet outlawed substance ephedrine. Once she finds out, father and daughter join forces in proselytizing against it. The dark joke here, of course, is the late '60s and early '70s, and the social disorder we are alleged to have inherited from that period. Set in the present, 7 th Heaven is nonetheless a revisionist view of the past--what that era of cultural upheaval might have looked like if the Weekly Standard had had its way with it. (It is not a coincidence that when the show flagged in its second season, the network hired a publicist to flack it to Christian groups, or that reruns are shown on Pax TV.) Never has a show so skillfully exploited contemporary retro-chic to rewrite our visual image of history. Everything in its universe is '70s revival, from the sartorial style--tight button-down shirts, clingy pants, long straight hair for girls, floppy mops for boys--to the lighting design, which is warm and dim in the manner of Family and The Brady Bunch , to the static camerawork, as deftly evocative of early '70s television as anything Quentin Tarantino has filmed. (I hadn't grasped how square and stolid the framing was until last night, when, while filming a concert by the pathetic dregs of a real '70s band, the camera tilted sardonically, just for an instant.) Even the casting functions as a form of allusion. Barry Watson as eldest son Matt has the soulful eyes, clean-cut yet girlish features, and long dark shag of Keith Partridge. Jessica Biel as eldest sister Mary has the center part and symmetrical eyes and mouth of a Marcia Brady. The middle daughter, Lucy, is the reincarnation of Jan. And on it goes, the show doing battle against our dour memories of those so-called anni horribili with a self-referential perkiness that would do Disney proud. The difference between then and now, though, is that while family life in those real '70s shows was unrealistically goofy, in this fake '70s show it's strangely isolated and defensive--a little too warm on the inside, a little too besieged by countercultural horrors on the outside. Consider the absurdly anachronistic flower-power band that visited its old buddy, Dad, in last night's episode, for instance, and how afraid he was that they'd bring marijuana into his home. Or how the children's friends are always turning up with strange addictions, illegitimate babies, or the need to slice themselves--cautionary examples of family disintegration for the Camden kids to steer clear of, or at least try to staunch. The Camdens aren't raising a family; they're fighting a culture war, no matter how gentle the father's Christianity may seem, and underneath the pop-cultural giddiness there's a missionary zeal that comes off as more High School Confidential than Brady Bunch. What do you imagine happens to Mary's friend when she ignores the warnings issued by the good reverend to her father and the preaching of Mary herself and defiantly keeps popping ephedrine? She nearly drops dead of a heart attack. The most troubling character of all, however, is the mother, Annie, played by Catherine Hicks with a not-quite-comic tension that never seems to achieve release. Wielding her Windex bottle like a weapon, smashing Kleenexes into the 9-year-old's mouth to retrieve illicit pieces of chewing gum, Annie is a counterfactual from hell--what American housewives would probably be like if Betty Friedan had never published The Feminine Mystique . Annie's mothering is loving but grim, and she's prone to irrational outbursts the rest of the family has to tiptoe around. There's the time her widower father showed up with his new girlfriend, and Annie refused to speak to her. The theme that episode was: How can we get Mom to behave? Her husband couldn't have been more understanding, but his wife's emotionalism was so impervious to logic it became disturbing. In fact, Annie is always slightly more disturbing than any other character is allowed to be, a sense of inexpressible rage hovering somewhere in the vicinity of her brightly upturned mouth. She makes you realize with gratitude that not even the show's creator, Brenda Hampton, can force the American family back into its box without having a little female frustration leak out. -- Judith Shulevitz Headline Good Morning Andrew, In this morning's New York Times headlines, ''Astronomers Say a Disk of Dust Holds a Clue to Birth of Planets.'' Three years ago, scientists learned that other suns also have planets. Now they think they are actually able to understand how planets are formed from stellar debris. According to the paper, it's looking more and more likely that there is life on other planets. Are you with me in adding outer space to our list of boring subjects? Last year I wrote a column in The Nation confessing that I didn't care what kind of rocks Mars had and neither did anyone else I knew. Wrong again-it turned out almost everyone I knew found this sort of information utterly fascinating, and many of them wrote in to say so. Now, archeology, on the other hand-there's a science. Today's New York Times obituary page carries an article about Linda Schele (only 55, very sad), who as a young studio art teacher paid a visit to Mexico for Christmas in l970 and fell in love with the Mayan ruins. By l973 she knew so much, that in three hours working with an undergraduate, she was able to decipher Mayan inscriptions that had baffled scholars for decades. It turns out that the Mayans were not, as previously thought, a nation of dreamy stargazers but (the old story!) violent enthusiasts of war, torture, human sacrifice and painful blood-letting rituals, ''whose king was required to stick a rod through the shaft of his own penis on ceremonial occasions.'' Sounds like Performance Art Night at the Mineshaft. Cheers, Katha Hospital Sushi Andrew--So, given your commitment to lots of medical care, am I right to assume that you oppose cuts in the British health care budget? Maybe if the system wasn't so cheap your dentist would have sprung for some Novocaine. I wasn't defending small health-care expenditures. I'm all in favor of everyone getting everything they need . I was making a point about health and health care as related to other social values. For instance, awful as your childhood dental experience was, at least you had a dentist! In this country, lots of people can't afford any kind of dental care (it mostly isn't covered by Medicaid) and are just out of luck. What's the situation with people who are HIV positive and don't have private health insurance that pays for the drug regimen? I think I remember a news story which said they were getting too expensive for Medicaid. And the 40 million people who have neither private insurance nor Medicaid--what happens to them? Talk to you soon, Katha PS. I love Japanese food. Better a thousand nights of sushi than a single meal of baked beans on toast. Your portrait of Japan is funny, but if they were really as timid and mingy as you suggest, they wouldn't be so healthy and long-lived. (Unlike the British, who I think are not so healthy in general.) We're always reading about Japan's weird side--the businessmen reading sado-porn comics on the morning train, and schoolgirls moonlighting as prostitutes, people eating potentially fatal blowfish just for kicks. And, of course, the incredible level of sexism, conformity, pollution, hideous modern buildings and so on. I'll bet their newspapers carry the same sort of stories about us. Re: Is Clinton the Devil? Or just his good friend? Katha, Actually, I do think that Clinton's inability to take responsibility for anything is far deeper than Reagan's. I remember that broadcast where RR finally said that, although his heart told him he didn't exchange arms for hostages, the evidence proved that he had. There. He did admit it. I don't think Reagan was deeply involved in the arms-for-hostages process either. In broader areas, Reagan clearly stood for things--anti-communism, for example--and stuck to his guns (so to speak). He remained answerable for the results. Clinton has stood for very little, and what little he has stood for he has slithered away from at every opportunity, if it meant any cost or pain. Even Bush was better--a war he could have lost, a defensible tax-hike he paid for dearly. There was risk because there was a small degree of conviction. With Clinton, there is no conviction, no risk, no reward. So I think people are genuinely uneasy with Clinton's character. I'm uneasy with it because it goes against the values I was brought up with: you tell the truth, stick to your principles, and face the consequences of your actions. He does none of this, from petty obstruction of justice to big-issue betrayals. I think some conservatives are uneasy with him for the reasons you cite; and because they associate him with the boomer generation, whose moral and psychological grip on reality is famously suspect. I don't think they're jealous. The Bubba vote actually rallied round Clinton once he became a recognizable "redneck philanderer" rather than a "liberal pinko sleaze." As to Hillary, she is of a piece with Bill, in my book, whatever David Brock says. best, Andrew p.s. Oh, and talking about responsibility, a hilarious (I suppose) moment this weekend, which reminded me of our chat last week. Walking down 17th Street on Saturday, I was greeted by a May Day Communist march. About 500 people, red flags, slogans about the "working class" and a 1930s-style poster of Stalin. Most people laughed at it, but I was stunned at how many of the marchers were under 30. One teenager seriously explained to me that the Ukrainians "starved themselves." Yes, I know these people are representative of nothing. But I wonder what our response would be if a group of young Nazis walked down the street, with swastika flags, pictures of Hitler, and claims that the Jews of Europe never perished. Would we smile indulgently? Has our moral sensibility become sadly dependent on identity politics? I'm not saying, of course, that we should pay less attention to Hitler's evil, merely that we need to pay more to Stalin's. One generation has already clearly forgotten. If Not Affirmative Action, What? Dear Andrew, The other day you referred to affirmative action as "reverse racial discrimination," which in my view characterizes it most inaccurately. Then, yesterday, you joshed about the Catholic all-male priesthood as the ultimate affirmative action program (as if men, of all people, had been the victim of discrimination for which the monopoly on ordination was a recompense!). Rather than rant and rave (I'm saving that for my column, due this morning) I'd like to know what your plan is for remedying racial discrimination in this country. In particular, I'm thinking of the story out at Berkeley, where affirmative action has been banned, and where only around 191 blacks, out of 8000-plus admittees, have been offered a place in next year's class, a huge drop (the Hispanic number was also small). In an interesting letter to the Washington Post earlier this week, Rene Redwood noted that "800 of the rejected African American and Latino applicants...had grade point averages of 4.0 and SAT scores of more than 1200. How can that be? Because a student can get a higher grade point average if he or she is fortunate enough to go to a high school that offers a full range of advanced placement courses, which poor urban school districts are less likely to do. "We are not talking about differences of ability here. We are talking about students having had unequal opportunities to demonstrate that ability. Asking that disparate opportunity be taken into account is not a 'preference.'" Redwood argues that "affirmative action is one tool for breaking the chain of unfairness." How do you propose to break that chain? If a good student can't get extra points because their school doesn't offer extra courses, why is it "discrimination" to take that into account? Cheers, Katha Re: If not discrimination, what? Katha, Honestly, I don't think that lower test-scores among candidates from some minorities is a consequence of institutional racism at universities. Do you? At Berkeley? And I don't think that race-blind admissions policies is racism either. So, frankly, I don't see the alleged problem of racial discrimination that we need to remedy. The only discrimination I think we need to address is the recent attempt by many universities to deny many people admission purely because of their race. Now there's discrimination. But it's directed primarily against hard-working, newly immigrant Asian-Americans. The solution to lower test-scores among blacks and Latinos is better public high school education, and more engaged and dedicated parenting. Period. Like you, I would like to see much more money spent on public education, as long as the teachers' unions don't throw it down the toilet. And I think we should do all we can not to encourage family breakdown among minorities. But even then, I doubt whether we would have a perfectly balanced racial mix at our universities. And frankly, I don't see why we should care. Why should we be concerned what race someone belongs to at college, as long as there isn't any systematic system to prefer some races over others, and as long as half-way decent public high school education is also widely available? This racial obsession is a legacy of past evils, and decreasingly relevant to the polyglot, multi-racial century we're about to enter. So I hope Proposition 209 is repeated across the country. And I hope we make a better effort to educate black and Latino kids in the cities. And I hope the black family recovers. And I hope we stop the futile attempt to make amends for past injustice by wreaking new ones on innocent people. As to an all-male priesthood, I do think it's an unconscionable and irrational form of institutional sexism, and I oppose it on the same grounds that I oppose reverse discrimination. And if we attempted to remedy it by instituting an all-female priesthood for the next two millennia, I'd be equally opposed. Two wrongs don't make a right. cheers, Andrew Zaire Mobutu Sese Seko , president of the Central African country of Zaire for the last 30 years, is considered the continent's most brutal and corrupt living dictator. Since October, rebels have battled his army. Last week they seized Kisangani , Zaire's third-largest city, and may soon topple him. Some Africa watchers predict that chaos could spread to Zaire's nine neighbors. What's it all about? Attribute part of Zaire's current crisis to the boundaries it inherited from its Belgian colonizers. The country--the size of Western Europe minus Scandinavia--envelops almost 250 tribes . They frequently conflict. Bantus, the country's largest tribe, constitute the majority west of the rain forest that divides Zaire. East of the rain forest is a hodgepodge. Zaire used to be called the Belgian Congo . At independence in 1960, a Soviet-backed socialist party took power. In 1965, a CIA-backed military coup brought down this government and installed army chief Mobutu as president. Using violence, anti-colonial rhetoric, and a cult of personality, Mobutu consolidated his power and suppressed tribal tensions. As part of a program called "Mobutu-ism," he changed the country's name. It all worked fairly well until recently. The most unsettling development has been the civil war in Rwanda , Zaire's eastern neighbor. The war is between the country's two main tribes--the Hutus and the Tutsis . In 1994, when Rwanda's Tutsi minority seized power, 1.5 million Hutu refugees fled across the border to Zaire. These refugees included members of the Hutu militias that had led the murder of 1 million Rwandan Tutsis. With the sanction of local Zairian officials, these militias used camps in Zaire as bases for raids into Rwanda. To avenge these attacks, Paul Kagame, vice president and defense minister of Rwanda, arranged for the combat training of 2,000 Banyamulenge, Tutsis indigenous to Eastern Zaire. In October, the Banyamulenge commandos attacked Mobutu's army and the Hutu militias operating out of Zaire. They routed both forces, causing them to flee into the country's interior rain forest. Mobutu's political opponents have joined with the victorious Tutsi commandos. In November, they launched a joint offensive and so far have captured a thousand-mile swath of territory in the East. The opposition army mainly consists of separatists from Shaba and Kasai provinces in East Zaire and supporters of the original post-colonial government, who have battled Mobutu's army sporadically since the dictator's ascent. The most powerful rebel leader is Laurent Kabila, head of the Alliance of Democratic Forces for the Liberation of Congo-Zaire. Though Kabila, a member of the pre-1965 government, has renounced his Marxist past, many in the West worry about his socialist tendencies. While militarily successful, Kabila's alliance with the Tutsis is a political handicap for him, because many Bantus have their own deep-seated hatred toward Tutsis. Another obstacle to Kabila's revolt is the lack of national infrastructure . Crossing the roadless rain forest, from recently captured Kisangani to Kinshasa, the capital, will be arduous. Zaire's economic collapse may make all these tribal differences irrelevant. Groups normally hostile to Tutsis, including Bantu student protesters in Kinshasa, have turned against Mobutu. Despite Zaire's natural resources , including some of the world's richest diamond and copper mines, the country has become one of the poorest in Africa. In 1994, its gross national product was less than a third of what it had been in 1958. Zairian industry runs at only 10 percent of capacity. American aid to Zaire dried up after the end of the Cold War diminished Zaire's strategic importance. And Mobutu's corruption has siphoned off resources. The president is said to have plundered $6 billion straight from the government treasury, making him one of the richest men in the world. He pays his civil service virtually no salary, requiring them to earn their income through bribes. In October, the 66-year-old Mobutu went to Switzerland to receive treatment for prostate cancer. Except for short visits to Zaire in December and February, he has been staying at his villas on the French Riviera and in Monaco. His absence has hastened the country's disintegration. Many Zairians consider Mobutu to be the stern-but-loving "national father ." Other more superstitious Zairians endow him with a supernatural aura, something he has cultivated through his identification with the leopard, which signifies omnipotence in Bantu iconography. (Mobutu made "Leopard" his nickname and always wears a leopard-skin hat .) In Mobutu's absence, various politicians have jockeyed for power, creating serious harm to the war effort. This week, the parliament voted to oust the prime minister. The army is in shambles, and large sections of the country have been running themselves, without oversight from the central government. Increasingly desperate, Mobutu uses Serbian mercenaries to fight the rebels. In addition, the army relies on assistance from Jonas Savimbi's UNITA army (anti-communist rebels from neighboring Angola, formerly backed by the CIA). Sudan and Uganda, also neighbors, have sent troops to assist the rebels. Their intentions are unclear: Do they hope to grab land from Zaire? Are they seeking to avenge Mobutu's long support of rebellions in their countries? Some experts predict that their involvement in the war could escalate the conflict, drawing these countries into battle with one another. The Clinton administration has not officially taken a position on the civil war. However, it has tacitly encouraged the rebels, in the belief that Mobutu's patronage of guerrilla forces in the region is destabilizing. American opposition to Mobutu has been a source of tension with France, which supports the Hutus and resents Kabila's alliance with the Banyamulenge. Post-Apartheid South Africa Four years after apartheid's end, press accounts of South Africa's transition to multiracial democracy tell a muddled tale. On the one hand, President Nelson Mandela is compared to George Washington. On the other, the Mandela-led coalition government of several disparate political parties has crumbled. The largest white party bolted, and has taken an increasingly intransigent stance toward Mandela. What's the deal? Since World War II, two organizations have dominated South African politics. Founded in 1914 by Afrikaners--descendants of 17 th and 18 th century Dutch settlers--the National Party demanded the end of British colonial rule. South Africa was a Commonwealth member until 1961. When the National Party took power in 1948, it imposed apartheid , disenfranchising and officially segregating the country's black majority. Millions of blacks were transported to "homelands," small tracts of land considered foreign countries. In the '60s, the African National Congress , a party founded by the country's small black middle class in 1912 to combat segregation, adopted a Marxist line. The ANC also started receiving funding from the Soviet Union and employing terrorist tactics. The ANC and the National Party were forced into one another's arms in 1990: Economic sanctions and political pressure applied by the international community on South Africa weakened the National Party's resolve, and the collapse of the Soviet Union left the ANC without outside funders. When the ANC renounced its Marxist intentions to redistribute wealth, it no longer threatened white privilege. Frederik W. de Klerk, the head of the National Party and president of South Africa, released ANC president Mandela, who had been jailed for 27 years, and lifted a longtime ban on the ANC that had forced the group into exile in Zambia. In April 1994, South Africa held multiracial elections. To ease the transition to democracy, de Klerk and Mandela agreed that the first post-apartheid government would include all major political parties , with each party's Cabinet representation proportional to its electoral strength. The ANC won more than 60 percent of the vote and the National Party won 20 percent, making Mandela president and de Klerk only a secondary player. It was an untenable relationship. The National Party disagreed with too many of the ANC-led government's liberal policies, including affirmative action, legalization of abortion, and abolition of the death penalty. Last June, the National Party withdrew from the government. One of the National Party's main grievances is the Truth and Reconciliation Commission impaneled by the government to investigate political violence from the apartheid era. Headed by Nobel Peace Prize-winner and anti-apartheid activist Desmond Tutu, the committee grants amnesty to all who confess to political crimes, as long as the crimes are not "disproportionately" heinous. By the time the commission stopped accepting amnesty applications two weeks ago, it had received more than 8,000 requests. Most came from low-level white officers in the police and army. Only two former Cabinet-level government officials applied. Most apartheid-era officials take de Klerk's position, denying knowledge of assassinations or instances of torture. Tutu, however, protests that he reported cases of illegal government violence to de Klerk several times. Last month, de Klerk's National Party repudiated the Truth Commission, calling it a politically driven "witch hunt " bent on proving the existence of a systematic program of violence where none existed. Blacks have also criticized the commission, complaining about the generous amnesty provisions. Tutu has mostly received high praise for his even-handedness. At one point, he threatened to resign if the ANC did not admit that it had ordered violence. Four members of Mandela's Cabinet have admitted to plotting ANC brutalities. Deputy President Thado Mbeki, whom Mandela has anointed as his successor, has also admitted that he commissioned acts of terrorism when he was a member of the ANC's national executive committee. Tutu will issue a report of his findings at the end of the year. The National Party's obstreperousness could bode ill for South Africa. The armed forces, police, and bureaucracy are still dominated by holdovers from the apartheid-era government who have longtime allegiances to the National Party. They could erode the credibility of Mandela's government. Also, the National Party's "witch hunt" allegations could undermine the spirit of reconciliation that the Truth Commission and coalition government were intended to foster. De Klerk has also discussed moving the National Party toward the center, campaigning on a platform of Christian values intended to appeal to black conservatives as well. But some local National Party leaders are allying with right-wing radicals who are campaigning for a separate white state. These local alliances could presage a shift further rightward. Despite its tactics, the National Party is slipping in opinion polls. Meanwhile, the ANC enjoys wide support , though its popularity has as much to do with Mandela's charisma as with its own platform. (Mbeki, notorious for his wonkish style and nervous tics, polls poorly.) ANC power will most probably be challenged in the 1999 election by the left. Expectations that the ANC would oversee land reform--returning land seized during apartheid's forced migrations--and wealth redistribution have not been met. Unions protest that the government has not fulfilled promises made to labor. Black South Africans may throw their support to the Pan-Africanist Party, a left-wing spinoff from the ANC. Or, radical politicians could challenge Mbeki's control of the ANC and return the organization to its left-wing roots. A law-and-order backlash is also possible. After the collapse of the apartheid state-security apparatus, worldwide crime syndicates from Colombia, Nigeria, and Thailand set up operations in South Africa. As a result, the murder rate there is now the highest in the world--61 per 100,000 people. Police are said to be inept and corrupt. The classic example: An automatic teller machine was swiped from police headquarters in broad daylight. The post-apartheid South African economy has averaged 3 percent annual growth for the last three years. Inflation is at a 23-year low of 7 percent. The country's resurgence has been attributed to Mandela's free-market policies: His government has cut the budget deficit from 5.9 percent of the GDP to 4 percent, deregulated aviation and telecommunications, and cut taxes. Corporations have responded by funneling millions into ANC campaign coffers. However, unemployment is at 32 percent , and the average black income is one-sixth the average white one. Telecommunications Reform The United States is in the midst of something called "telecommunications reform." What is it, and how is it going? The Telecommunications Act , passed in February 1996, was the first congressional overhaul of telecommunications policy since 1934. The new law promised to promote competition by repealing government regulations . A key to this hope is digital technology , which turns all forms of communication--voice, data, or video--into streams of numbers, which can be carried by any communications channel--telephone lines, coaxial cable, or the airwaves. Telecommunications reform is supposed to break down existing barriers between these media so that, for example, phone companies will sell television hookups and cable companies will offer telephone service. It is also supposed to end the distinction between local and long-distance phone companies, allowing each to go after the other's business. The early results have been poor to middling. Competition (particularly in local residential telephone service) has been slow to bloom. And the promised "convergence " of the various communications media has not arrived. Some critics say the problem is that deregulation didn't go far enough. The new law deregulates some aspects of the telecom industry while maintaining or even adding new regulations in others. Other critics say the problem is too much deregulation. They point especially to a series of giant mergers --most notably those reassembling the old Ma Bell telephone monopoly that was broken up--that the new law does nothing to discourage. The telecom law rewrites the ground rules in three areas of the communications industry: telephone service, cable, and broadcasting. Telephony . The Telecommunications Act is intended to erode the local-phone-service monopoly enjoyed by the seven regional "Baby Bells " (and by AT&T for most of a century before that). It requires the Bells to make their facilities--the "local loop " linking home phones to the telephone network--available to competitors, so that the latter can compete without running wires to every house. It also requires the Baby Bells to resell their entire bundle of services wholesale to companies that might wish to compete on the retail level. Customers who want to switch phone companies must be able to keep their old phone numbers and can't be required to dial extra access codes. The drafters of the law expected these provisions to leave the Baby Bells facing a variety of competitors : wireless services, small startup local service providers, cable and utility companies (who own valuable rights of way), other Baby Bells--and, perhaps most importantly, long-distance companies such as AT&T. The act permits the Baby Bells to offer long-distance service--something the AT&T breakup decree had forbidden--but only after they have taken 14 specific steps to open up their own local phone markets. The act also explicitly requires the Federal Communications Commission, for the first time, to ensure "universal service "--guaranteeing that rural and other underserved areas receive telephone services comparable to those provided in urban areas. In May the FCC rolled out a universal service plan, which included discounted Internet hookups for schools and libraries, to be funded by charges on all interstate telecommunications providers. Cable . In 1984, Congress passed a law deregulating cable prices (even forbidding local governments from setting rates). In 1992 it reregulated cable prices. In the 1996 act it deregulated them again. Starting in April 1999, cable companies will be able to set their own rates, except on "basic tier" service (the no-frills menu of broadcast and public-access programming). Even for basic-tier service, the statute allows cable companies to begin charging market rates as soon as they face competition from another local provider. The act allows local phone companies to provide video programming to homes (whether via cable, wireless, or through telephone lines), and it lets phone and cable companies in most local markets own up to 10 percent of one another. Broadcast . As called for by the new law, the FCC in April gave each of the nation's 1,600 television broadcasters a second channel of spectrum space. Critics call this a giveaway of a public resource worth billions of dollars. The broadcasters are supposed to use the extra spectrum space for the new digital signals. They are also supposed to give their current spectrum space back in 2006, when non-digital TV broadcasting is supposed to stop. But the broadcasters are now pushing to hold on to the additional spectrum space. The act also ends long-standing rules against cross-ownership in broadcasting. Anyone may now own an unlimited number of radio stations, subject only to caps on local concentration. Likewise for TV stations, as long as one owner's signals do not reach more than 35 percent of the nation's households. The new law also makes it easier for broadcasters to renew their licenses, and requires TV manufacturers to install parent-friendly V-chips. Finally, the statute included the Communications Decency Act, which was struck down this week by the Supreme Court. Has deregulation worked? During 1996, cable-TV prices shot up at more than twice the rate of inflation. Non-discount long-distance rates rose even faster. Local phone rates are going up, too, though some of this rise may be attributable to a reduction in subsidies. Competitors have not rushed in. The Baby Bells still monopolize the local-household phone market (although competition for business phone customers is more visible). AT&T--though it is gradually losing market share and lives in fear of Baby Bells entering the market--still dominates long distance. The cable companies are facing some increased competition from direct-broadcast satellite providers , but they have maintained their grip. (Rupert Murdoch recently abandoned plans for a major satellite assault on the cable market.) Ironically, price competition has emerged most robustly among businesses not addressed by the new law, such as DBS, cellular phone, and Internet service providers. The hoped-for "convergence" of industries and technologies has not come to pass. The big cable companies--balking at the costs of converting one-way cable to two-way voice lines--have shelved plans to get into the local phone business. Likewise the Baby Bells, who, facing economic and technical obstacles, have abandoned plans to branch out into video. And the long-distance companies have made only tentative steps toward invading the local residential-telephone market. Even for a mammoth like AT&T, the economics of going local are close to prohibitive, because the "local loop" is the most expensive part of the entire system to build and operate. AT&T's plan, announced in February, to use wireless systems to offer local phone service has been widely dismissed as unconvincing. It would be much cheaper for the Baby Bells, with local facilities and a built-in customer base, to break into the long-distance market. But that 14-point checklist is a formidable obstacle. Meanwhile, merger mania has seized the telecom industry. The Justice Department approved a merger between Bell Atlantic and NYNEX in April. Time Warner bought Turner Broadcasting. Westinghouse purchased both CBS and radio rival Infinity Broadcasting. And U.K. giant British Telecom purchased MCI. Now AT&T wants to merge with SBC (which became the nation's largest Baby Bell by swallowing Pacific Telesis), a move strongly opposed by outgoing FCC Chairman Reed Hundt. Stock-Market Circuit Breakers In the heat of last Monday's stock-market dive, the New York Stock Exchange debuted circuit breakers. Reviews of the procedure, which halts trading when the Dow Jones industrial average drops dramatically, are mixed. Most traders say that the pauses exacerbated the panic. Treasury Secretary Robert Rubin and others credit the pauses with calming jittery investors. What are circuit breakers? Why were they created? What is the evidence that they work? Following the October 1987 Black Monday stock-market crash , a presidential task force was convened to investigate the crash's causes and suggest remedies that would prevent a repeat performance. The task force blamed "faulty market mechanisms ." The exchanges, it argued, lacked the infrastructure to accommodate the trading volume that the drop occasioned: Phone lines clogged, computers crashed, and printers jammed. Many orders simply weren't received. Deluged traders couldn't match the buy and sell orders they had. The task force recommended--and in 1989 the New York Stock Exchange implemented-- circuit breakers , a pause in trading that would give buyers and sellers time to assimilate incoming information and arrange transactions. Circuit breakers afford investors and traders the time to sell stock calmly, rather than dump it in a panic. The main circuit breaker is an NYSE rule that automatically stops trading for 30 minutes whenever the Dow Jones industrial average tumbles 350 points from its previous day's close. Another circuit breaker halts trading for an hour if the market drops another 200 points. The NASDAQ exchange, the American Stock Exchange, and the Chicago Mercantile Exchange now stop trading whenever the NYSE stops. Also after 1987, the exchanges agreed to curtail computer trading of futures when the Dow Jones industrial average either gains or loses 50 points. This procedure is invoked regularly. Although circuit breakers were first imposed this week, the governing board of the NYSE does stop trading when circumstances warrant it. Following the 1987 market crash, for instance, the NYSE shortened its hours to curtail panic trading. During the "paperwork crisis " of 1968, the NYSE cut back hours for the first three months of the year so that brokers could handle a massive backlog of unfilled orders. In addition, specialists--the traders who handle the transactions of an individual stock--are granted permission regularly by the NYSE to stop trading stock to restore temporary imbalances between supply and demand. Bad weather, presidential assassinations, and power outages all have resulted in the closing of the market. Most foreign governments require local exchanges to halt the trading of stocks that have dropped drastically. Monday, markets in Tokyo, London, and elsewhere prohibited the trading of specific stocks. No other country automatically closes volatile markets for a breather. Critics of the new rules say that circuit breakers flopped in their NYSE debut. The first circuit breaker was thrown at 2:35 p.m. Monday, Oct. 27. After the 30-minute pause, trading resumed and the market dropped another 204 points in 25 minutes, triggering the second circuit breaker . The current Wall Street consensus is that the break made investors and traders even more inclined to sell, instead of cooling them off. Many traders blame the cable networks , which dwelt on the first circuit breaker and reported it as a sign of an impending crash. During the first lull, traders who had orders to sell by the end of the day were already anticipating a second circuit breaker. Fearing that a second circuit breaker would close the market for the day and prevent them from executing their orders on advantageous terms, they sold their stocks as soon as possible instead of waiting to find the best price. Circuit-breaker critics also argue that the mechanism prevents the market from working itself out of a crash. Extreme volatility, they say, is a natural part of the market's quest for equilibrium between supply and demand. Interrupting this process causes additional drops such as Monday afternoon's, rather than upswings such as Tuesday morning's. Technology has made moot much of the original justification for circuit breakers. Following the 1987 crash, both NASDAQ and the NYSE invested billions in expanding and automating the transaction infrastructure to accommodate the enormous swells in trading. The NYSE's computers now can handle the sale of 2.7 billion shares a day, vs. 440 million in 1987. Monday, 685 million shares were traded--not much more than the daily average volume of 528 million. But Tuesday, the NYSE handled a record 1.2 billion shares, with its central computer processing as many as 274 transactions a second. On both days, traders had no difficulty matching buyers and sellers and speedily filling orders. The Securities and Exchange Commission and the NYSE originally devised the circuit breakers to kick in after a 250-point drop. At the time, 250 points represented 12 percent of the market's value. Adjusting for the quadrupling of the market over the last seven years, the SEC and the NYSE raised the circuit-breaker trigger last year to 350 points. Critics say that 350-point trigger is far too low , allowing the circuit breakers to flip at levels that don't warrant a stoppage of trade. They appear to be right. Monday, when the first circuit breakers were imposed, the market had dropped only 5 percent. SEC Commissioner Arthur Levitt Jr. has said that the circuit breakers should be reformed so that they are triggered by a drop in percentages, not points. Indian Gambling Gambling as an enterprise among American Indian tribes has exploded in recent years. The first operation started in 1979. Today, 280 operations are conducted by 186 gambling tribes across 28 states; the 1996 take is estimated at $6 billion. Indian tribes are now locked in competition: Three Wisconsin tribes have filed a suit claiming they were denied a casino license in 1995 because wealthier tribes beat them to Democratic campaign coffers. It appears likely that an independent counsel will be appointed to investigate Interior Secretary Bruce Babbitt's handling of the affair. What is the legal basis for gambling on Indian reservations? What accounts for the explosion in the number and size of such operations? Who controls the gambling spigot: the tribes, the states within whose boundaries the reservations lie, or the federal government? The concept of tribal sovereignty. The " cases" of the 1830s framed tribe-state-union relations thus: The tribes were neither foreign nor subject nations; they were "domestic dependent nations," "wards" to the union's "guardian." Since the reservations were federal protectorates, state law had no force on their territory. Exceptions to the rule. Tribal immunity from state law is not absolute. Tribes have, on occasion, opted for a blurring of boundaries (asking that state cops patrol reservation land, for example). And several court decisions since Cherokee have authorized exceptions to the state-exclusion principle. A state may, for example, make enforceable laws governing tribes if Congress delegates authority to that state. Congress has used its delegation power to transfer its authority to states on several occasions. For example, Public Law 280 (1953) gave several states on reservations. Even without the specific delegation of authority, state law may still be considered valid if it doesn't flout federal goals. Click for an example. Limits on state control. Gambling did not become an issue until 1979, when the Seminole tribe of Florida identified bingo as a means of alleviating poverty on the reservation. The tribe's decision put it in direct conflict with Florida's rather restrictive bingo statute. Crying PL 280, Florida went to court--and the court ruled in favor of the tribe. Its reasoning: Bingo was not universally prohibited in Florida; nonprofit organizations were exempt. Therefore, the state had no right to regulate bingo on the Seminole reservation. The Seminole victory was the first in a series, and Indian gambling thrived over the next several years. Enter Congress. The Indian Gaming Regulatory Act (1988) sought to set regulatory standards and arbitrate outstanding tribe-state conflicts. IGRA confirmed the tribes' "exclusive" right to regulate reservation gambling as long as the gambling activity in question did not violate federal or state law. The act also divided Indian gambling into three classes. Of these, tribes were given control of the first two (traditional/ceremonial games, bingo, and some card games). But Class III operations--casinos and the like--required that the tribe enter an agreement, or "compact," with the state. IGRA obliged the state to enter negotiations in good faith, failing which a tribe could sue in federal court. But when the Seminoles, victorious in 1979, sued Florida after being denied compact negotiations in 1996, they lost. Predictably, IGRA has come under fire from all directions. Incensed tribes have pointed out that the court's ruling stripped them of their safety net, making their sovereignty moot. The Department of the Interior is exploring alternative procedures that would let tribes negotiate compacts directly with the secretary, cutting the states out of the equation. This July, Sen. John McCain introduced the Indian Gaming Regulatory Act Amendments Act of 1997 in the Senate, seeking, among other things, to establish an independent U.S. agency that would set minimum federal regulatory standards for reservation gambling. Meanwhile, a few tribes keep the bulk of the gambling prize: The General Accounting Office reports that of the 126 tribes operating gambling facilities as of Dec. 31, 1996, eight accounted for 40 percent of total revenues. Moreover, Tribal Allocation Priority funds, as federal payments to tribal governments are known, are divvied up based on tribe size and population density rather than income, meaning that tribes with big gambling incomes often get federal subsidies as big as those with none. Allergies Doctors predict that, thanks to El Nio, the next two years will be the most allergy-ridden in history, a fitting end to what doctors call the worst century for allergies ever. The percentage of the population suffering from allergies has more than doubled over the last 40 years, according to one study. Meanwhile, as part of a dizzying parade of allergy remedies, the Food and Drug Administration has recently approved the over-the-counter sale of cromolyn sodium, a nasal spray trumpeted as the most effective nonprescription allergy combatant. What are allergies? Who gets them? Is there any way to conquer them? Are they really more prevalent than they used to be? Why hasn't natural selection consigned this miserable condition to the dustbin of evolutionary history? Allergies share the same etiology: The immune system overreacts to the presence of harmless proteins normally not found in the body. During the first few encounters with a foreign protein (or allergen), the immune system catalogs its characteristics and tailors an antibody called immunoglobulin to purge it. Thereafter when the allergen enters the body, the immunoglobulins send signals to trigger the release of a set of nasty chemicals, most notably histamines, that destroy it. Side effects of histamines include the tightening of airways, constriction of nasal passages, release of mucus, and redness of eyes. Nobody knows how much of an allergen it takes to set off this process. Some typological distinctions : Allergies are technically different from adverse reactions to poison ivy, chemicals, and lactose, none of which involves the immune system. Allergies are also distinguishable from colds, during which the immune system combats viruses that can actually do harm. The most prevalent allergy is hay fever . (The Centers for Disease Control's estimate: Twenty-six million Americans suffer from the condition.) Here the immune system reacts to proteins contained in pollen, tiny airborne particles released as part of the reproductive cycle of trees, weeds, and grasses. ("Hay fever" comes down from early 19 th century British farmers who misplaced blame for their ragweed allergies on the hay reaped during the fall harvest.) Other common allergies include reactions to the proteins found in food , the excrement of mites , and the saliva of some warm-blooded mammals (cats, dogs, horses). (Click for a sidebar on the myth of the nonallergenic dog.) Reactions to food afflict relatively few and, except for shellfish and peanut allergies, are most common among small children. The consequences of allergies are usually no greater than sneezing, a stuffy nose, and itchy eyes. But if you suffer from asthma, allergies can cause an attack. And in rare cases, allergic attacks can turn into anaphylaxis , where toxic levels of histamines and other chemicals are released, causing asphyxiation, vomiting, and death. More common are infections triggered by stuffy noses. The scenario: Allergies inflame and clog a nose, precluding it from draining mucus and fluids from sinuses and ears. The fluids become a breeding ground for bacteria. (An estimated 40 percent of ear infections stem from allergies.) Allergies are genetically linked . Researchers have correlated them with a single mutant gene inherited from the mother. But statistics also point to the importance of other genes that come via the father. Eighty percent of the children of two allergy-suffering parents are also allergic. With one afflicted parent, there is a 50 percent chance of inheritance; and when neither parent is an allergy sufferer, there's still a 20 percent chance. Allergies are spread evenly across ethnicity and gender. Individuals, however, tend to experience their effects in roughly 10 year cycles . The worst period usually occurs from birth through adolescence, and then recurs in the mid-20s for another decade. But allergies can start at any time. And nobody has a clue as to why they wax and wane. Pollen has its own patterns. In the early part of the year (March to May) trees emit pollen; from June to August, grass is the main source; from September to November, weeds are. There's no escaping pollen. Allergists say some cities (Los Angeles and Denver) are better than others (Atlanta and Washington, D.C.). But all are bad for at least a chunk of the year. Even cities such as Las Vegas and Tucson, once famed for their pure desert air, are now corrupted by trees and grass imported as part of so-called "civic improvement" projects. The lowest counts occur in coastal areas and mountains, where wind tends to blow pollen away, although pollen has been detected as far as 400 miles out to sea and two miles up. (Other useful pollen tips: During the summer, pollen counts tend to be lower before 8 a.m., after dark, and following rain.) Every allergy season seems to be touted by the media as being the worst one on the books. (Click for a sampling of alarmist headlines from the Los Angeles Times. ) And there is much dispute over whether El Nio will cause as much trouble as some allergists predict. The claim is that El Nio rains and mild temperatures will cause plants to be more fecund and produce more pollen. Also, lack of winter freezes means that mites normally killed off by the cold will survive. Allergy treatment is a burgeoning sector of the economy. Annually, $3.4 billion is spent on medication and doctor visits . There is plenty of room for growth--only an estimated 12 percent of hay fever sufferers seek medical treatment. New drugs debut almost every year. (Recently, there has been a rush to fill the vacuum left by the antihistamine Seldane, which was yanked from the market after eight people died when Seldane reacted adversely with other drugs.) None of the three major prescription antihistamines (Allegra, Claritin, Zyrtec) seems to be consistently more effective than the others. All relieve symptoms in a vast majority of patients. Unlike the pills, immunotherapy shots attack the underlying problem, not just the symptoms. Each week patients are injected with a small dose of allergens to build their immunity. Studies show the shots cure 80 percent of patients after several years of treatment. But they are a huge hassle and costly--nearly $1,000 a year. Why hasn't natural selection corrected the immune system's misguided response? Why do allergies afflict an increasing number of victims if they serve no useful purpose? A few theories: The Victorious Immune System: Evolutionary biologists speculate that a hypersensitive immune system was needed back when parasites were ubiquitous and deadly. Hay fever was the small cost of survival. And since allergies rarely shorten life spans or discourage mates, it is unlikely natural selection will ever weed them out. Theory of the Leisure System: Modern medicine and hygiene have licked most of the major problems that used to preoccupy our immune system. Now, with nothing to regularly contend with, this theory argues, the system is set off by the most harmless foreign particle. Western-Style Living: Here blame goes to the advent of poorly ventilated, densely populated living spaces--allergy traps--and the increased popularity of domestic pets. In addition, there is the onset of pollution, which carries mites. Hypochondria: More people are allergic today because more people are diagnosed as allergic rather than as suffering from colds. The cynical spin is that pharmaceutical companies have duped the public into believing that they have allergies and need drugs to fix them. Movies Shakespeare in Love (Miramax Films). It's the critics who are in love: Gwyneth Paltrow is gorgeous, Joseph Fiennes is dashing, and the movie is "smart and giddily entertaining" (David Ansen, Newsweek ). Fiennes' young Will Shakespeare has an affair with Paltrow's character that becomes the basis for Romeo and Juliet . Tom Stoppard and Marc Norman's screenplay is full of amusing references to Shakespeare plays, but is not so erudite that it won't please crowds, and the dialogue "percolates with bubbly finesse" (Owen Gleiberman, Entertainment Weekly ). The New Yorker 's David Denby puts a slight damper on the general festivities: He says the film starts out muddled, though it livens up by the end. (Check out stills from the film on this page, and read David Edelstein's pan in Slate .) Star Trek: Insurrection (Paramount Pictures). Critics say the ninth installment in the Star Trek franchise unfolds like a two hour episode of the TV series--"as warm and cozy as a pair of tribble fur-lined Spock ears on a cold winter's night" (Michael O'Sullivan, the Washington Post ). The action takes place on a planet whose fountain of youth properties make it the envy of malicious neighbors. Critics say insiders will laugh at the inside jokes and not mind the low-tech special effects. Everyone else will find the film hokey and overburdened with "pseudoscientific terminology" (Jay Carr, the Boston Globe ). (Read Edelstein's review in Slate , and visit the official Star Trek site, where you can buy Star Trek mugs, posters, and Christmas cards.) Rushmore (Buena Vista Pictures). "[B]lessed with a vivid sense of humor and an artistic integrity unlike those of any other American filmmaker working today" is how Entertainment Weekly 's Lisa Schwarzbaum describes the work of writing team Owen Wilson and Wes Anderson (who also paired up on the 1996 underground hit Bottle Rocket ). The film, directed by Anderson, follows newcomer Jason Schwartzman as a dorky, overachieving high-school kid who competes with Bill Murray for a teacher's affections. The film is "from deep in left field--immaculately written, unexpectedly touching" and is full of "exuberance and innocence" (Jeff Giles, Newsweek ). A few complain that the movie lags, and New York 's Peter Rainier criticizes it for "callowness." (Visit the "Bill Murray Action News" page, which follows the actor's every move.) A Simple Plan (Paramount Pictures). Sam Raimi's dark morality fable impresses the critics: It's a "rivetingly accomplished crime thriller" (Gleiberman, Entertainment Weekly ). As two brothers who happen on millions of dollars in a plane that's crashed into a snow bank, Bill Paxton and Billy Bob Thornton turn in performances that "can be described only as flawless" (Roger Ebert, the Chicago Sun-Times ). The reviewers have some reservations: The moral deterioration of the characters is hard to watch, and the inevitability of the plot's outcome can be stifling. But the overall verdict is that the director has a sure hand. ( Slate 's David Edelstein likes the film but calls some of the plot devices "a bit cheap." Read the rest of his review here.) Jack Frost (Warner Bros.). This film about a man reincarnated as a snowman so that he may comfort his grieving son is said to be "treacly and fake" (Gleiberman, Entertainment Weekly ). The animatronic snowman (with Michael Keaton's voice) looks like a "large, wisecracking marshmallow man" (the New York Times ) and is described by Ebert as "the most repulsive single creature in the history of special effects." ("Never have I disliked a movie character more," Ebert adds.) USA Today 's Mike Clark calls the last hour of the film "brain-damaging." The Wall Street Journal 's Joe Morgenstern, the film's only fan, praises its "sweet spirit and astute humor." (Visit the official site.) Television The Tempest , by William Shakespeare (NBC; Sunday, Dec. 13). NBC racks up another bust. This loose Civil War-era adaptation of Shakespeare's Tempest is called "[a] miscalculation of epic proportions ... at times laugh-out-loud awful, at times offensive" (Daryl H. Miller, the Los Angeles Times ). The film uses only two lines of Shakespeare's actual poetry (but is otherwise peppered with cheesy "I reckon"s). Peter Fonda, who plays the Prospero equivalent, is called "stone-faced and clueless" (Steve Parks, Newsday ). ( Read this interview with Fonda.) Theater The Blue Room , by David Hare (Cort Theatre, New York City). Nicole Kidman bares all! Who cares what David Hare did with Arthur Schnitzler's La Ronde when there's celebrity flesh to be drooled over? American critics! They receive the play coldly, even though the Broadway run is almost sold out. The New York Times ' Ben Brantley calls The Blue Room "a deft, efficient and sometimes amusing piece of work ... [t]he entire evening is not unlike Kidman's much-discussed body: smooth, pale, and slender." Other critics say the play has "outlived [its] raciness" (David Patrick Stearns, USA Today ). Although La Ronde was banned at the turn of the century, nowadays its account of sexual encounters among various characters (all played by Kidman and her co-star Iain Glen) seems pretty tame. The play is "an aesthetic non-event, an anticlimax of proportions inevitably commensurate with its avalanche of advance publicity" (Charles Isherwood, Daily Variety ). (Order tickets to the show online.) Recent "Summary Judgment" columns Dec. 9: Movie -- Psycho ; Movie --Central Station ; Movie -- Hard Core Logo ; Movie -- Little Voice ; Book -- Amsterdam , by Ian McEwan; Art --"Edo: Art in Japan 1615-1868" (National Gallery of Art, Washington); Theater -- Electra , by Sophocles (Ethel Barrymore Theater, New York City). Dec. 2: Movie -- Babe: Pig in the City ; Movie -- Home Fries ; Movie -- Jerry Springer: Ringmaster ; Movie -- Very Bad Things ; Theater -- On the Town ; Book -- The Rum Diary: The Long Lost Novel , by Hunter S. Thompson. Nov. 25: Movie -- Enemy of the State; Movie --The Rugrats Movie; Movie -- Waking Ned Devine ; Movie -- A Bug's Life ; Book -- I Will Bear Witness: A Diary of the Nazi Years, 1933-1941 , by Victor Klemperer; Book -- American Beach: A Saga of Race, Wealth, and Memory , by Russ Rymer; Television -- Winchell (HBO). Nov. 18: Movie -- Meet Joe Black ; Movie -- Celebrity ; Movie -- I'll Be Home for Christmas ; Movie -- I Still Know What You Did Last Summer ; Movie -- Dancing at Lughnasa ; Book -- Fashionable Nonsense: Postmodern Intellectuals' Abuse of Science , by Alan Sokal and Jean Bricmont; Music -- Spirit , by Jewel. New Republic , March 31 (posted Friday, March 14) The cover story smacks supply-side economics guru Jude Wanniski for his grandiosity, tax-cut monomania, and all-around loopiness. Wanniski's flirtations with Louis Farrakhan and Lyndon LaRouche have made him a pariah among the conservatives who used to worship him. An article rejects the CW that the Supreme Court will strike down the Communications Decency Act. The reason: New filtering software makes it possible to restrict access to Internet porn without excessively limiting free speech. TNR joins the chorus in favor of needle exchange, saying that the Clinton administration's opposition to it has doomed thousands of drug addicts to HIV infection. Also, a review demolishes Kathryn Harrison's memoir, The Kiss , which recounts her affair with her father: It's "trash with a capital 'T.' ... Just because she wrote it does not mean she had to publish it." Economist , March 15 (posted Friday, March 14) A Euro-issue. The cover editorial touts next week's Yeltsin-Clinton summit as a historic opportunity: If Russia and NATO can agree to a limited partnership, it will secure the long-term peace of Europe. Also, plenty of EU news: A long article counts the benefits of Europe's common market, while another piece describes how eager Poland, Hungary, and the Czech Republic are to join it. And the Economist declares that Britain's National Health Service needs an overhaul: It's underfunded, and its service is "third-rate." New York Times Magazine , March 16 (posted Thursday, March 13) The cover story asks why Gov. George Pataki has been a more effective executive than most New Yorkers expected. Its answer: He's bullied and prodded the Legislature to cut taxes and spending. In the process, he's become more popular than his mentor, Sen. Al D'Amato. A Jewish writer visits the Southern Baptists who are trying to convert Jews: He is appalled by their aggressiveness. Also, an essay on why modernist literature is so tedious (Henry James is singled out: "Does anyone like to read him?"). Time and Newsweek , March 17 (posted Tuesday, March 11) Time 's cover story tries to explain "How Colleges Are Gouging U." Tuition has risen twice as fast as inflation, says Time , mostly because parents are willing to pay, but also because universities hoard their endowments and pay their professors too much. An article hypes the Hale-Bopp comet, which will be visible for the next month, as "the best celestial show in decades." Also, Time claims that for the past year, the FBI has been seeking "Robert Jacques," a possible accomplice to Timothy McVeigh in the Oklahoma City bombing. Newsweek 's "Black Like Who?" explores the "new generation gap" among African-Americans. The pop psychology: Middle-aged and elderly blacks, having witnessed the gains of the civil-rights movement, believe in the system. But young blacks are marginalized and angry. Gangsta rap is blamed for feeding the kids' rage. In a sidebar interview, Bill Cosby lambastes trashy black TV shows and movies. Also, Newsweek tells the weird story of Jerry Stuchiner, a high-level Immigration & Naturalization Service agent alleged to have sold passports to illegal Chinese immigrants. And an article accuses the Navy of abusing its female combat pilots: Their fellow pilots and commanding officers gave them the silent treatment instead of helping them. U.S. News & World Report , March 17 (posted Tuesday, March 11) "The Quality of Mercy" indicts doctors for not prescribing effective painkillers to the 34 million Americans who suffer from chronic pain. "Opioids" (such as morphine and codeine) are fantastic pain relievers and almost never addictive. But doctors are afraid to prescribe high doses for fear of lawsuits and licensing investigations. A sidebar profiles a pain doctor who lost his license for prescribing lots of opioids. An article says the Defense Department could save $30 billion a year by hiring private contractors to run PXs, process paychecks, operate day-care centers, etc. "The Cyber Vice Squad" notes the growing popularity of Internet "filtering" software, which allows parents and corporations to block access to naughty sites. The New Yorker , March 17 (posted Tuesday, March 11) A fashion package. An article observes "coolhunters," the hipster consultants who are hired by clueless clothing and shoe manufacturers to find the next big thing. An article wonders whether Paris couture will accept hot young British designers such as Alexander McQueen. Also, The New Yorker profiles eccentric British writer J.G. Ballard: His cult novel Crash , about sex and car accidents, has just been filmed. Weekly Standard , March 17 (posted Tuesday, March 11) An article mocks Newt Gingrich's writings as "gibberish"--a froth of loony New Age slogans, weird lists, and incomprehensible diagrams. The editorial, which is pegged to the Ron Fitzsimmons controversy, slams journalists for ignoring the truth about partial-birth abortion: Even a cursory investigation would have shown that the procedure is much more common than its defenders claimed. (For Slate's take, see "Abortion Apostate.") Professional ex-Communists are on the cover: Book reviewers lavishly praise Whittaker Chambers (subject of a new biography) and David Horowitz (author of a new autobiography). The Nation , March 24 (posted Tuesday, March 11) The cover story, "A Bad Air Day," investigates industry lobbying to prevent stricter clean-air standards. It accuses industry of fudging data to minimize the dangers of air pollution, blames Republicans for kowtowing to corporate demands, and fingers former White House counsel/lobbyist C. Boyden Gray as the polluters' heavy on Capitol Hill. A long article describes the service unions' fight to organize in Las Vegas: It has been more successful than the unions had expected. --Compiled by David Plotz and the editors of Slate . Economist , April 12 (posted Saturday, April 12) The cover story and editorial conclude, albeit unenthusiastically, that morality and human rights have a place in foreign policy. Outside pressure often civilizes undemocratic, inhumane nations (i.e., South Africa and the Soviet Union). But the Economist is uncertain whether Western pressure can persuade China to mend its ways. A gloomy article details the obstacles that will face Zairian rebel leader Laurent Kabila after he deposes Mobutu: opposition to his Tutsi soldiers by other tribes, a roaming Rwandan army marooned in Zaire, and endemic corruption. A piece on biological weapons cautions that 1) Iraq still has them; 2) they are easy to hide; and 3) they are phenomenally dangerous. New Republic , April 28 (posted Friday, April 11) Republicans hesitate to dump Newt Gingrich because his potential successors would be worse, argues the cover story, "The Men Who Would Be Newt." Each of the heirs apparent is dissected: Dick Armey is too dull, Tom DeLay is too volatile, John Boehner is too treacherous. All are too conservative. An article about Labor Secretary-designate Alexis Herman labels her the "least-qualified--and certainly most scandal-plagued" of Clinton's Cabinet nominees. But she will cruise to confirmation because Republicans prefer an ineffective labor secretary to a fighter like Robert Reich. An article lambastes medical ethicists for being ill-trained. The most damaging claim: HMOs hire ethicists who then justify the HMOs' decisions to deny expensive treatment. Also, a piece claims that Jerusalem is not really a holy city for Islam: Muslims claim it only to score political points off Jews. Vanity Fair , May 1997 (posted Friday, April 11) This month's billionaire profile is Sir James Goldsmith, the corporate raider turned politician. Violently opposed to the European Union, Goldsmith is spending $30 million to underwrite his anti-EU Referendum Party in the upcoming British election. Much is made of his peculiar family: He keeps a wife, an ex-wife, and a mistress. An article on crime novelist Patricia Cornwell finds her obsessive, vengeful, and paranoid, and confirms that she had a lesbian affair with an FBI agent (who was nearly murdered by her husband). An appreciation of art critic Robert Hughes says he observes America better than anyone since de Tocqueville. Also, Vanity Fair hypes its own: A long excerpt from a biography of Claire Booth Luce focuses on her stint as VF 's managing editor. (The magazine was "Cond Nast's prize gift to the haut monde .") New York Times Magazine , April 13 (posted Thursday, April 10) The cover story chronicles a 46-year-old woman's heart transplant, from her diagnosis to the "harvesting" of her new heart to the operation itself. (The highlight is a photo of the old and new hearts sitting side by side in metal basins.) The piece notes that the 10-year survival rate for heart transplants is an astonishing 60 percent, orders of magnitude higher than it was in the '70s. A baseball writer expounds his theory about what makes a great manager: Cunning, intensity, and ego are useful, and almost all managers perform best in their first few years with a team. The magazine profiles former anti-apartheid activist Mamphela Ramphele, who now heads the University of Cape Town: She has won admirers (and enemies) by insisting that the university not adjust its standards to favor black students. Also, the semiannual "Home Design" supplement insists that simplicity--incredibly expensive simplicity, that is--is chic. Time and Newsweek , April 14 (posted Tuesday, April 8) Time scoops Newsweek on Ellen DeGeneres. Both magazines report that her sitcom character comes out in the April 30 episode of Ellen , but only Time 's cover package reveals that DeGeneres herself is lesbian. ("Now I feel comfortable with myself and I don't have to be fearful about damaging my career if it gets out," she says.) The magazines agree that: 1) her TV coming out is a milestone because it's the first time a show will have a lead gay character; 2) advertisers and viewers won't strongly object; and 3) Ellen is still a mediocre show. Heaven's Gate survivor Richard Ford/Rio DiAngelo takes Newsweek 's cover and reveals more weird details about the cult. Among them: For several months members consumed nothing but a concoction of lemonade, cayenne, and maple syrup; they communicated with the cult leader only in writing; they were not allowed to have their own thoughts. Ford, who still considers himself a member, refers frequently to his own body as his "vehicle." Time tracks down other former cult members, who state that the group considered suicide as long ago as 1994. One former member has put up a new Heaven's Gate Web page containing messages from the "Away Team" (the suicides). Time doesn't give the Web address, though. Time warns that Antarctica may be warming. If its marine ice sheet floats free, worldwide ocean levels could rise 20 feet. "Backlash Against HMOs" describes how doctors, patients, unions, and government are banding together to fight restrictive HMO rules. Also in Newsweek , a commemoration of Jackie Robinson regrets that Americans have forgotten his non-sports legacy as a civil-rights leader and role model. And a peculiar bit of newsmagazine amity: Newsweek 's art critic profiles and praises Time 's art critic, Robert Hughes, who is narrating a PBS series on American art. U.S. News & World Report , April 14 (posted Tuesday, April 8) U.S. News is famous for ranking America's best colleges. This week, it tells you how to get into them. The cover story chronicles the admissions process at the University of Pennsylvania, then offers tips: High grades and low test scores are better than low grades and high test scores; hard classes and extracurriculars impress admissions officers; being an alum's kid does not guarantee admission. Also, an article illustrates the influence that political donations can buy. Among the examples: TV broadcasters, who donate lavishly to Congress, were given $300 billion worth of new licenses for nothing. Credit-card companies, also big donors, blocked legislation that would lower late fees. A story claims that the illegal-immigrant-smuggling business is booming: Asians and Central Americans pay as much as $28,000 for passage to the United States. The New Yorker , April 14 (posted Tuesday, April 8) "American Guanxi" describes how a pair of Clinton fund-raisers parlayed political connections into personal gain. Nora and Eugene Lum, a Hawaiian couple, raised tons of money from Asian-Americans for the Democratic Party, befriended Ron Brown and other party bigwigs, used these political ties to buy an Oklahoma gas company, and earned a $9 million profit on the deal without lifting a finger. The conclusion: All this was sleazy but probably legal. A warm profile of playwright Wendy Wasserstein, whose new Broadway play opens this month, depicts her as an establishment figure who still thinks of herself as an outsider. Also, a parent complains about how much time he must spend helping out at his kids' private schools. Weekly Standard , April 14 (posted Tuesday, April 8) "Crack-up at Justice," the cover editorial, argues that Attorney General Janet Reno is an ineffectual pawn of the White House and that the Immigration and Naturalization Service and the FBI are rogue agencies. An article asserts that the FBI has failed to prosecute 4,000 people who have been caught distributing child pornography on the Internet. A long feature blames Yasser Arafat for the failure of the Middle East peace process, contending that Israel has got nothing in return for granting Palestinian autonomy. The Nation , April 21 (posted Tuesday, April 8) The cover story says that gay men must build a new culture that is not founded on sex: Gay community centers, gay churches, and gay marriage would be its anchors. An article mourns the anniversary of the 1996 Telecommunications Act. The act has benefited media conglomerates and reduced competition, and the forthcoming implementation of digital TV will help the conglomerates even more. --Compiled by David Plotz and the editors of Slate . The Rise of the Front Man It is universally agreed that the resignation of Rep. Bob Livingston as speaker-designate and his replacement by Rep. Denny Hastert is a Bad Thing. For starters, the annunciation of Hastert, a politician who doesn't cast a shadow, exposes the anorexia in the top ranks of the House Republican Caucus. The Republicans are so strapped for talent that they had to recruit a politician no one outside Capitol Hill had even heard of five minutes ago. (Incidentally, the House GOP's top four leaders are now ex-wrestling coach Hastert, ex-college professor Dick Armey, ex-exterminator Tom DeLay, and ex-football player J.C. Watts. Who says American politics is dominated by lawyers?) And, as pundits are fretting, Hastert's emergence also reinforces the crisis over "the politics of personal destruction" (to use the day's catch phrase). The sexual puritanism of the GOP's own right wing undid Livingston, and Hastert cakewalked into the speakership only because he is--fingers crossed--above reproach. It's uncertain whether sexual litmus testing will endure, but for the moment Washington is anxious. Many pols and ex-pols are predicting that smart, charismatic folks such as Livingston will now shun public office. There is another, less talked about, reason why the ascension of Hastert is alarming. Call it the Front Man Syndrome. Most people would agree that in a well-run democracy, political power ought to be transparent. By this I mean that those who hold nominally powerful jobs ought to exercise correspondingly real power. Title and authority should be directly related. The president should be the most powerful person in the executive branch, the chief justice of the Supreme Court the most powerful in the judicial branch, the speaker of the House the most powerful in the House, etc. This transparency serves democracy, because it enables voters to hold the responsible officials accountable for their actions. You cannot hide. (American politics has not always been transparent. In the golden age of political machines, for example, bosses often occupied ostensibly unimportant jobs and left the glorious titles to their marionettes.) But transparency may be a casualty of last week. If Democrats or Republicans fear that their leaders will be subject to personal attack--and they do--then there is a huge incentive for the parties to vest nominal power in squeaky-clean nonentities and hide real power behind the scenes. H astert may be Exhibit 1. "Coach," as he's fondly known, has a history of modest service to his party and his district, delivering pork, opposing Democratic health-care bills, etc. Mostly he has been a faithful deputy whip to DeLay, helping "The Hammer" count votes in the service of the conservative cause. DeLay mobilized his whip organization to ensure his deputy's election as speaker, and Democratic members are already wondering if Coach will be The Hammer's tool. It may be that Hastert will be thoroughly independent of DeLay--Hastert's allies assure doubters that he is his own man--but what if he's not? House Republicans will have placed a clean, good-natured speaker at the front of their parade, a bland and acceptable public face for the party. Hastert won't cripple the party with a too-big mouth and too-big ideas, as Newt Gingrich did, and he won't cripple it with an embarrassing history, as Livingston did. Meanwhile, DeLay will retain the only true power base in the House Republican Caucus: a 60-odd member whip organization, the best access to corporate campaign contributions, and a fearsome personality. The whip, who knows he lacks the charm and cooperative instincts required for speakership, will be able to run his operation quietly, behind closed doors. DeLay's job will be secure, and he himself will remain (mostly) sheltered from strict public scrutiny. This is, of course, pessimistic speculation. It is far too early to know whether Hastert will be DeLay's puppet. And even if Hastert is DeLay's puppet, that won't necessarily mean that Congress has entered an era of puppetry. (A sample size of one does not an era make.) Still, it's yet one more reason--as if we need another--to worry about what happened last week. Economist , June 7 (posted Saturday, June 7) The cover story observes that public opinions in France and Germany are moving against European Monetary Union--in different directions. The French have backed a party that favors loose interpretation of Maastricht Treaty criteria, while the Germans have cheered for the Bundesbank's strict financial bookkeeping. Nevertheless, the article predicts that an inclusive euro will be launched on schedule, through fudging the original criteria. The editorial laments that the treaty's "misguided" fiscal targets have harmed the "great opportunity that the single currency might have been" and argues that they should be revised immediately. A killjoy article on the McVeigh trial says it doesn't really vindicate the American judicial system, because the proceedings were biased and conspiracy theories were not aired. An admiring article on Israel's new Labor leader, Ehud Barak, speculates that the besieged Likud government is headed for more trouble and may turn to Barak for support. New Republic , June 23 (posted Friday, June 6) The cover story by Jonathan Rauch warns that workplace-harassment law is destroying the First Amendment. Courts have equated discriminatory speech with discriminatory action, causing lawsuit-shy employers to enforce "speech codes." Proposal: Apply First Amendment protection to workplace speech, even though there will be some unrestrained bigotry. The editorial celebrates the "obtuse and suicidal" choice of the French electorate, particularly because it will kill hope for a common European currency. An article argues that Timothy McVeigh's view of the Constitution--people may judge and overthrow a government that has exceeded its authority--is consistent with the vision of the Founding Fathers (but Lincoln forged a "new Constitution" based on "nationhood, equality and democracy"). And an article explains how the military has adopted a radical-feminist view of rape in order to survive in the '90s. New York Times Magazine , June 8 (posted Friday, June 6) A special issue on "How the World Sees Us" asserts that the United States has reached a new level of cultural domination and asks whether the world is enjoying it. Foreign writers in 18 countries respond. In the featured essay, a German political analyst announces the end of Cold War anti-Americanism: Europeans who used to hate obnoxious Americans (because of forced allegiance) now want to imitate them (because they are relentlessly innovative). Some other responses: A Nigerian denounces "the shameless glorification of self-exposure," a French nanny complains that American children are spoiled, and a German observes that Americans are obsessed with their teeth (hence the cover). An accompanying column frets that we are embarrassing ourselves by dumping the worst of American culture ("Rambo-esque violence and Disney-esque sentimentality") on foreign markets that enjoy having negative American stereotypes confirmed. Time and Newsweek , June 9 (posted Tuesday, June 3) Paula Jones makes Newsweek 's cover. The gist: The president's advisers and insurers want him to settle the case, because no matter what the outcome, pretrial discovery would be humiliating. Newsweek contributor George Stephanopoulos urges Clinton to seek a fast trial and clear the air for the 2000 campaign. Time 's feature argues that settling is trickier than it sounds: Can Clinton acknowledge Jones' claim and not admit to any wrongdoing? Time 's trend cover story concludes that Generation Xers are not slackers: They're materialistic, ambitious, and entrepreneurial. The piece is accompanied by the requisite sidebars about a go-getting movie director, a fabulously successful cosmetics manufacturer, and a hip young environmental activist. Both magazines write skeptically about the "Torah codes" phenomenon, which claims that the Bible contains encrypted messages prophesying events. (See Slate's "Cracking God's Code.") Time alleges that an Al Gore associate who owns a toxic-waste-disposal company received a lucrative Department of Energy contract after making large donations to the Clinton-Gore campaign. And the Golden Arches slump: McDonald's U.S. business is flagging, Time says, because Americans increasingly favor tasty food over fast food. Also, Time publishes a special issue devoted to American Visions , the TV show and book by the magazine's longtime art critic, Robert Hughes. U.S. News & World Report , June 9 (posted Tuesday, June 3) The annual retirement guide offers the usual advice: Buy better mutual funds and pay attention to your 401(k). One piece declares that anyone can become a millionaire by investing more, spending less, and buying used cars. A long article describes a massive, 40-years-in-the-making study of aging. Among its findings: People don't get crankier as they get older, at least half of senior citizens have no heart problems at all, and senility is not inevitable. U.S. News ' Paula Jones scoop: Her lawyers have stashed three copies of her affidavit about Clinton's "distinguishing characteristics" in hiding places around the country. A story notes that biologists have discovered dozens of new mammal species in the past few years, including a new whale and a "giant barking deer." The New Yorker , June 9 (posted Tuesday, June 3) The magazine profiles Nolanda Hill, who was business partner, best friend and, as she reveals, mistress of late Commerce Secretary Ron Brown. A brash Texan who made a fortune buying TV stations, Hill is under federal investigation for her business deals with Brown. Funniest tidbit: Brown loathed Clinton's touchy-feely Cabinet retreats, calling them "moongazing." An article rips celebrity doctor Susan Love for misleading women about estrogen and grossly distorting (or misunderstanding) Centers for Disease Control statistics. Love advises middle-aged women not to take estrogen, saying it raises breast-cancer risk. In fact, estrogen therapy vastly reduces the risk of heart disease and bone disabilities, while increasing that of cancer only minimally. Also, The New Yorker publishes from the 45-year correspondence between Gore Vidal and Louis Auchincloss. Weekly Standard , June 9 (posted Tuesday, June 3) Another "what's wrong with conservatives" cover package blames the conservative collapse in Britain, France, and the United States on the clever but vacuous politics of the left. But not to worry: The left's victories are rear-guard actions. Conservatives are winning the intellectual war. Editor William Kristol bemoans the "Clintonization" of Trent Lott and other GOP leaders, who have replaced their old firmness with vague, pandering rhetoric. A piece criticizes feminists for valorizing Air Force pilot Lt. Kelly Flinn and ignoring jilted wife Gayla Zigo. Also, at long last, a writer pans Rosie O'Donnell as a sycophant (in public) and a bully (in private). Economist , June 14 (posted Saturday, June 14) Last week's New Republic declared that Africa is "dying." This week's Economist says that it is "emerging." The cheerful cover story and editorial observe that economies are growing across sub-Saharan Africa, commend the tough fiscal and free-market policies of new leaders, and urge the United States and Europe to lift tariffs on African exports. There's a bit of bad news, too. An essay by development-economics guru Jeffrey Sachs rates the importance of geography and climate to economic growth: Tropical regions (e.g., Africa) are enormously handicapped by their high rates of infectious disease and their low soil fertility. An 18-page survey predicts the globalization of the defense industry. Only international megacontractors such as Boeing have the economies of scale necessary to build expensive high-tech weapons. It also notes that China's defense industry is more primitive than recent publicity suggests. Vanity Fair , July 1997 (posted Saturday, June 14) Vanity Fair indicates that the Senate's campaign-fund-raising hearings could be the Watergate of the '90s if Sen. Fred Thompson can forge a bipartisan consensus for a deep investigation. But so far, the Democrats aren't cooperating and the Republicans have been ham-handed. (Full disclosure: the piece is co-authored by Slate's Jacob Weisberg.) Yet another VF article about Rupert Murdoch: It handicaps the race to succeed him. Twenty-five-year-old son Lachlan, who ranks highest in the News Corp. empire, is the favorite. But older daughter Elisabeth is tough and smart, and younger son James is the boldest thinker. The cover story gushes about gay divorce Diana: She's freer, happier, and more devoted to charity than she was as Princess of Wales. And she still wears great clothes. New Republic , June 30 (posted Friday, June 13) The cover story lauds half a dozen big-city mayors as the potential saviors of American politics. New York's Rudolph Giuliani, Los Angeles' Richard Riordan, Chicago's Richard Daley, and other mayors are championing efficient government and free enterprise while opposing identity politics and income redistribution. These "new Progressives," who are simultaneously liberal and conservative, could inspire a new centrist political coalition. The "TRB" column parodies the truth-stretching Robert Reich, imagining him as Walter Mitty. (See Slate's "Robert Reich, Quote Doctor.") A writer travels to Baghdad and finds Iraqis despairing: Food and jobs are scarce, travel is impossible, and internal security is overbearing. New York Times Magazine , June 15 (posted Thursday, June 12) The cover story credits hospitals with improving their response to medical errors. Instead of finding scapegoats, they now encourage doctors and nurses to admit mistakes (no punishment attached) in order to prevent future ones. Problem: Malpractice lawyers profit when hospitals confess error. The magazine profiles the high-achieving Emanuel brothers: presidential adviser Rahm, Hollywood agent Ari, and medical ethicist Zeke. A competitive, intellectual upbringing made them obnoxious, passionate, smart, and fabulously successful. Also, a pair of Microsoft articles. One deplores "Microspeak," the company's hideous, responsibility-avoiding euphemisms: A bug, for example, is a "known issue." The other story suggests that the young pundits on MSNBC may represent a sea change in American politics. Their anti-government, anti-politics libertarianism could be the ideology of the future. Too bad no one's watching them. Wired , July 1997 (posted Thursday, June 12) Highly Panglossian. "The Long Boom" projects 25 years of global economic prosperity. Thanks to free markets and (of course) high technology, productivity will increase, environmental degradation will decrease, genetic diseases will be eradicated, and a worldwide, multicultural civilization will flourish. Possible obstacles: a plague, an ecological crisis, a U.S.-China war. The piece includes a "world history" chart for the years 1980-2020: "Immigrants drive revival of family" in 2014-16. "First designer kid" in 2020. Time and Newsweek , June 16 (posted Tuesday, June 10) Time and Newsweek publish identical cover headlines--"Should He Die?"--and nearly identical stories about Timothy McVeigh. Both say that America is eager for revenge and note that McVeigh is the ideal candidate for execution--remorseless, intelligent, well defended, white. Bud Welch, the father of an Oklahoma City victim, writes columns in Time and Newsweek about why he opposes McVeigh's execution. Time argues that the death penalty doesn't seem to deter crime, doesn't comfort victims' families, and is racially skewed. Time also has a creepy photo feature about prison death chambers. Newsweek 's package of stories on the military-and-adultery mess praises Defense Secretary William Cohen's effort to end the witch hunt, but faults him for defending Gen. Joseph Ralston and not a lower-ranking officer. Kelly Flinn--last week's poster girl for the issue--writes a piece condemning this double standard: Why was she ostracized and Ralston helped? The magazine profiles Anson Chan, the much-admired head of Hong Kong's civil service. She is the colony's "canary in a coal mine": If the Chinese stifle her, it will be a sure sign that Hong Kong is in trouble. Time derides John Gray, the author of Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus , as an egomaniacal huckster who's making millions selling banalities to vulnerable couples. U.S. News & World Report , June 16 (posted Tuesday, June 10) The death penalty/McVeigh cover story also concludes that executions don't solace victims' families. A piece accuses the Japan External Trade Organization, a U.S.-based Japanese government agency, of snooping on U.S. companies in the United States. JETRO is supposed to promote U.S. exports to Japan, but actually helps Japanese companies acquire advanced American technology. U.S. News profiles a respected geologist whose computer models "prove" that the Biblical Flood occurred. The New Yorker , June 16 (posted Tuesday, June 10) The New Yorker chronicles the bitter fight over Kennewick Man, a skeleton with Caucasoid features discovered recently in Washington state. The 9,000-year-old skeleton is evidence that Europeans arrived in the United States before Native Americans, who migrated from Asia. Native Americans insist that the skeleton be reburied. The federal government has seized the bones and forbidden further scientific examination. An article discusses the popular idea of letting inner-city churches operate government welfare programs. Republicans are keen on this, but the church-state questions are tricky. If the churches proselytize, they may violate the First Amendment. If they don't proselytize, they may be ineffective. Weekly Standard , June 16 (posted Tuesday, June 10) The cover story worries that John Kasich is the future of the Republican Party. The House Budget Committee chairman is an eager beaver and a wonderful speaker, but he's too narcissistic, too populist, and too willing to compromise with Democrats. Also, the backlash against the Kenneth Starr backlash. Contrary to a recent New York Times Magazine story, the independent counsel is not to blame for the sluggish pace of the Whitewater investigation: Stonewalling by Clinton and his allies have impeded the probe. The Nation , June 23 (posted Tuesday, June 10) Computer databases make too much data available too easily, so the government must intervene to protect Internet privacy, argues the cover story. A piece defends New York City rent control. (For more on rent control, see Slate's "Such a Deal" and the "Dialogue" it sparked.) Press reports wrongly suggest that most beneficiaries of rent control are rich. In fact, it is mostly working-class folks who will be driven out of the city if the controls are lifted. Economist , June 21 (posted Saturday, June 21) The cover editorial and article endorse--tentatively--assisted suicide. The magazine fears that doctors might eighty-six incompetent or impoverished patients, but is optimistic that good laws and strict enforcement can prevent such abuses. An article and editorial pegged to the G-7 caution that the U.S. economy isn't as healthy as Americans believe: Productivity does seem to be increasing, but imminent inflation, a low savings rate, and an aging population may kill the boom. A piece on the fragmentation of American feminism mocks old-school "difference feminists" and cheers the sassy, libertarian "pod feminists" who are now in vogue. New Republic , July 7 (posted Friday, June 20) More on Chinese evil. Beijing's persecution of Christians deserves to be an important U.S. policy issue, says the cover story. The Chinese kill and jail Christians and destroy Christian shrines. The piece credits Christian conservatives (especially Gary Bauer) and neoconservatives for raising the issue. A book review lionizes Chinese dissident Wei Jingsheng, whose letters from prison were just published. An article calls new Turkish Prime Minister Tansu Ciller "pathologically duplicitous," "craven," and phenomenally corrupt. Also, a story explains why the much-touted emergency flood-relief bill is political grandstanding. Congress purposely underfunds the Federal Emergency Management Agency. Then, when disasters happen, it gives extra cash and takes credit for providing "emergency relief." New York Times Magazine , June 22 (posted Thursday, June 19) More on women in the military. The ambivalent cover story wonders whether the military can survive without a hypermacho, violent male culture. Conclusion: It probably can, but soldiers will take a long time to adjust. The American public may be slow to accept the idea of women dying in combat, as well. (For the evolutionary angle on a sexually integrated military, see Slate's "The Earthling.") The piece also finds that most women soldiers lack the blood-and-guts instincts needed in combat. An article contends that the United States can painlessly resolve its entitlement crisis by admitting more immigrants and using a huge tax credit to promote childbearing. Also, the magazine profiles first-term Rep. Carolyn McCarthy, the Long Island Railroad-massacre widow elected to Congress as a gun-control advocate. She's almost as saintly as her image, though she's increasingly torn between her principles and political expediency. Time and Newsweek , June 23 (posted Tuesday, June 17) The newsweeklies go tabloid. Time 's cover story celebrates the 50 th anniversary of the Roswell, N.M., "UFO" crash--a k a "The Incident." Time describes the crash landing in vivid detail (right down to an alien giving first aid to a wounded colleague), then concedes that the downed spacecraft was undoubtedly a military balloon. Requisite alarming data: Thirty-four percent of Americans believe aliens have visited Earth, and the Roswell festivities may draw 100,000 visitors. Newsweek 's cover story chronicles--with more than a little Schadenfreude --the decline of the Kennedy dynasty. Evidence: the disintegration of Rep. Joe Kennedy's marriage and the alleged affair between Michael Kennedy and a teen-ager. The "protective aura" that once insulated the family has vanished. A sidebar notes the political dynasties taking shape in the Bush, Cuomo, and Jackson families. Newsweek has plenty of celebrity-murder news. In an interview, O.J. Simpson gripes about the Brown and Goldman families and says he's trying hard to survive on $25,000 a month. A story on the JonBenet Ramsey case says her parents are not the only suspects. Biggest revelation: Contrary to press reports, it's possible that someone entered the house from outside. The Ramseys left their front door unlocked, and melting snow could have obscured footprints. (For a backgrounder, see Slate's "The Gist.") The magazine interviews Microsoft billionaire buddies Bill Gates and Steve Ballmer. (Ballmer, a college classmate of Gates', is Microsoft's business chief.) They say that Netscape and the network computer threaten Microsoft's prosperity. Time profiles Ward Connerly, the black businessman (and rising Republican star) who's leading the fight against affirmative action in California. U.S. News & World Report , June 23 (posted Tuesday, June 17) A cover story advises workers to exploit the best job market in history by milking their employers for higher pay, flex time, continuing education, shorter hours, gym memberships, etc. (Computer experts, not surprisingly, have the most leverage.) An article explains why Clinton's much-ballyhooed race initiative is so insubstantial: The poll-driven president was too scared of voter backlash to risk endorsing affirmative action or criticizing police racism. Also, a piece warns that the booming egg-donation business is an ethical minefield: Does the egg donor have any claim on the child? Should the child be told that it has two mothers? Should human eggs be bought and sold? The New Yorker , June 23 & 30 (posted Tuesday, June 17) The annual fiction double issue exalts Indian writers. (This year marks the 50 th anniversary of Indian independence.) Salman Rushdie explains why it's good that Indians write in English. He also contributes a short story, as does Ruth Prawer Jhabvala. Amitav Ghosh recounts the forgotten history of the Indian National Army, the Indian troops who deserted the British Army during World War II to fight for the Japanese. An Indian doctor/author describes the impossibility of practicing medicine in India--too much squalor, too few supplies, and 25,000 cases of rabies a year. John Updike is the latest reviewer to write a rave for Arundhati Roy's The God of Small Things . Weekly Standard , June 23 (posted Tuesday, June 17) The cover story on Teddy Roosevelt exhorts America to emulate his "nationalist-individualist" ideology. Roosevelt believed in the power of government to accomplish grand tasks (e.g., build the Panama Canal), but he had no patience for the nanny state. Today, such a "limited but energetic" government could rebuild public trust. Criminologist John DiIulio claims that inner-city "super-preachers" are the best hope for saving troubled kids from crime: Churchgoing seems to prevent backsliding by recovering drug addicts and former criminals. Also, another editorial opposing MFN status for China. Vanity Fair , July 1997 (posted Saturday, June 14) Vanity Fair indicates that the Senate's campaign-fund-raising hearings could be the Watergate of the '90s if Sen. Fred Thompson can forge a bipartisan consensus for a deep investigation. But so far, the Democrats aren't cooperating and the Republicans have been ham-handed. (Full disclosure: the piece is co-authored by Slate's Jacob Weisberg.) Yet another VF article about Rupert Murdoch: It handicaps the race to succeed him. Twenty-five-year-old son Lachlan, who ranks highest in the News Corp. empire, is the favorite. But older daughter Elisabeth is tough and smart, and younger son James is the boldest thinker. The cover story gushes about gay divorce Diana: She's freer, happier, and more devoted to charity than she was as Princess of Wales. And she still wears great clothes. Wired , July 1997 (posted Thursday, June 12) Highly Panglossian. "The Long Boom" projects 25 years of global economic prosperity. Thanks to free markets and (of course) high technology, productivity will increase, environmental degradation will decrease, genetic diseases will be eradicated, and a worldwide, multicultural civilization will flourish. Possible obstacles: a plague, an ecological crisis, a U.S.-China war. The piece includes a "world history" chart for the years 1980-2020: "Immigrants drive revival of family" in 2014-16. "First designer kid" in 2020. Economist , Aug. 9 (posted Saturday, Aug. 9) The cover editorial takes a dim view of America's giddy stock market. In order to justify today's stratospheric share prices, profits and productivity must grow at improbably high rates for an impossibly long time. (For Slate's similarly pessimistic take, see Michael Kinsley's "The Stock Market Chicken-Counting Orgy.") A related article notes that the skyrocketing stock market is a worldwide phenomenon: Equity markets are booming in Europe and Asia, too, thanks to low interest rates. The Economist celebrates the 100 th birthday of aspirin, the world's first synthetic drug and still one of the best. Latest bit of good news: Aspirin now seems to prevent bowel cancer, in addition to relieving pain, quelling inflammation, and preventing strokes and heart attacks. New Republic , Aug. 25 (posted Friday, Aug. 8) The cover story deplores the overdiagnosis of learning disabilities: LD advocates say that as many as 50 million Americans are learning-disabled; critics say that students claim impairment to extract special treatment from schools (extra tutoring, extra time on tests, etc.). The disabilities include such dubious afflictions as "dysgraphia"--that is, bad handwriting. A piece argues that black Americans espouse paranoid myths (that the CIA sells crack in the inner cities, for example) because it's easier for them to believe that white America is trying to destroy them than to believe that white America doesn't care about them. The "TRB" column suggests that William Weld could revive the Republican Party and position himself as a 2000 presidential contender by fighting Jesse Helms over Weld's nomination as ambassador to Mexico. (For Slate's less flattering view of Weld, see Franklin Foer's "Assessment." Also check out the "Frame Game" on Weld vs. Helms.) Vanity Fair , September 1997 (posted Friday, Aug. 8) VF traces Andrew Cunanan's bloody trail from San Diego to Minneapolis to Chicago to Miami. He favored hard-core S&M, belonged to a fraternity of rich, mostly closeted gay men called Gamma Mu, dealt drugs to support his lavish lifestyle, and lied to everyone about everything. A Harold Ickes profile says the ex-Clinton staffer is cruel, bullying, and smart. Clinton may have tossed him aside, but Ickes is retaliating by cooperating with campaign-finance investigators. Also, a pair of articles on celebrity marriage. One piece mocks Larry King for marrying too often, depicting him as needy, lonely, and desperate for attention. The other claims that the marriage of Rudy Giuliani and actress/TV journalist Donna Hanover is a faade: The New York mayor has been conducting an affair with his communications director for the past three years, and Hanover will separate from him after this fall's election. The story chastises New York media for ignoring the story, saying they fear alienating the vindictive Giuliani. New York Times Magazine , Aug. 10 (posted Thursday, Aug. 7) The cover story reports on Robert McNamara's visit with his old North Vietnamese counterparts. McNamara accepts some blame for the war; the Vietnamese don't. A story recounts how a long-shunned medical researcher is finally winning acceptance for his unconventional theories on heart disease, and suggests that new ideas in medicine are often slighted when they don't stand to make money for drug companies. A piece profiles Manhattan's real-estate barons. They're being challenged by a new, faceless breed of property investors, but they're not worried. Newsweek and Time , Aug. 11 (posted Tuesday, Aug. 5) Newsweek hypes as "exclusive" a new bimbo eruption. A former aide to White House counsel Bernard Nussbaum tells the magazine that, in 1993, another White House employee, Kathleen E. Willey, told her that she had been groped and kissed by the president. Paula Jones' lawyers have subpoenaed Willey to establish Clinton's "pattern of behavior." Newsweek offers its eighth medical cover story of the year. "The Hidden Causes of Heart Attacks" identifies a new villain, the amino acid homocysteine, which damages "arterial walls if it reaches high concentrations in the blood stream." Newsweek advises a prevention regimen of multivitamins, especially vitamins B-6 and B-12. ( Time published a piece on homocysteine last week.) Other risk factors for heart disease include low birth weight and infections like gingivitis. Forget about saving the whales: Time reports that the overfishing of sharks for fins (an Asian delicacy) and cartilage (mistakenly thought to prevent cancer) has brought several species to low population levels. Both magazines analyze the budget deal. A Newsweek columnist notes that the budget would have balanced itself quicker if Congress had done nothing new. U.S. News & World Report , Aug. 11 (posted Tuesday, Aug. 5) The cover story offers a News You Can Use analysis of the budget deal's tax cuts: You benefit if you are middle class and have kids, or are rich and own stock. A report details how a new coal-mining technique, which decapitates mountains, has scarred West Virginia's scenery, destroyed property, and created floods. An earnest analysis of women in the military advocates that the Pentagon use the techniques that helped integrate blacks into the services. Weekly Standard , Aug. 11 (posted Tuesday, Aug. 5) The cover story lauds Jesse Helms as (next to Reagan) "the most important conservative of the last 25 years." Helms is "misunderstood," "an able and resourceful executive," "the easiest boss in Congress," and "a kindly, courtly gentleman who loves kids." "Helms's gutsiest decision has been to confront the homosexual movement." (For Slate's take, see "The Old Carolinians.") An editorial criticizes the Clinton administration for threatening to withhold federal aid from the University of Texas and the University of California, both of which have enacted race-blind admissions policies. And an article opposes the use of statistical sampling for the next census, arguing that the samplers will favor Democrats. The New Yorker , Aug. 11 (posted Tuesday, Aug. 5) A long profile of Soviet refusenik-turned-Israeli Cabinet member Natan Sharansky examines the struggle of moving from sainthood to practical politics. An editorial argues that the balanced-budget compromise is not a compromise, since both sides granted each other all the spending and tax cuts they wanted, and hence will not balance the budget. An article profiles John Doerr, a Silicon Valley venture capitalist in search of the next big technological revolution. Time and Newsweek , Sept. 15 (posted Saturday, Sept. 13) Time devotes nearly its entire issue to Princess Di. Newsweek sees that issue, and raises with a second, separate, advertisement-free "Commemorative Issue." Joyce Carol Oates and Martin Amis eulogize in Time . Newsweek 's regular issue trumps with Nancy Reagan and Katharine Graham. Both magazines provide detailed accounts of the night of the accident, the week of mourning, and the funeral; and both conclude that the future of the monarchy hinges on Di's sons. Newsweek calls for Prince Charles to step aside in favor of William. It also advises Charles' paramour, Camilla Parker Bowles, to avoid publicity until the Diana fuss subsides. Also, both mags do the required soul-searching about the paparazzi , concluding that the public's appetite for celebrity photos will overcome its revulsion for photographers' methods. Newsweek 's Commemorative Issue also features essays and countless pictures. Di friend Rosa Monckton chastises the media for their exploitation of Di in a piece exploiting her own relationship with Di, complete with private photos of the princess. Mother Teresa's death is shunted to the back of each regular issue. The obits are, not surprisingly, reverential. Time 's is longer. Economist , Sept. 13 (posted Saturday, Sept. 13) The cover editorial and article on China's economic future recommend wholesale privatization. Foreign investors cheer party boss Jiang Zemin's slow moves toward capitalism, but China's looming bank crisis requires far more rapid reform. A piece says that the ozone layer is healing thanks to CFC bans. But there's cause for worry: Ozone depletion is no longer a trendy political cause, and CFC smuggling is rampant in Russia. A story on AOL's purchase of CompuServe observes that online services increasingly resemble television networks: Their core business is information and entertainment, not modems and servers. New Republic , Sept. 29 (posted Friday, Sept. 12) New editor Charles Lane replaces Michael Kelly, who was ousted last week. Editor in Chief Martin Peretz writes that Lane "represents continuity with the best traditions of this journal: political independence, intellectual seriousness, good writing and decency toward those with whom one disagrees." Lane also contributes a cover story about the Clinton administration's ineffectual Haiti policy. The United States has failed to improve living conditions or uphold the authority of President Ren Preval. De facto leader Jean-Bertrand Aristide has proven nearly as authoritarian as former dictator "Papa Doc" Duvalier. An article argues that liberals should oppose the National Endowment for the Arts on the grounds that art does not need federal subsidies. Also, why Princess Di was like President Clinton: The public cared more about her empathy than about her actions. New York Times Magazine , Sept. 14 (posted Thursday, Sept. 11) The cover story examines the stalled Israeli-Palestinian peace process through the eyes of Jibril Rajoub, the head of the Palestinian Authority's secret police. Israelis distrust him because he was in the PLO and his brother is a member of Hamas, while Palestinians despise him for cooperating with their enemy, the Israelis. An article refutes the accepted wisdom that Klaus Fuchs and David Greenglass leaked the first atomic secrets to the Soviets. (Later, however, they did turn over secrets to the other side.) A recently released Soviet document implicates Theodore Hall, a physicist at Cambridge University. Hall is unapologetic about his spying, but the lack of living witnesses makes prosecution impossible. U.S. News & World Report , Sept. 15 (posted Tuesday, Sept. 9) U.S. News , which missed Diana's death last week because of its early deadline, makes up for it with a Diana cover package this week. "Who's to Blame for Diana's Death?" spreads the guilt among the driver, the security guard, Dodi Fayed, Diana, photographers, the rest of the royal family, and the adoring public. An essay explains why young women identified with Diana. (Why? They want to be princesses, too. They also know what it's like to fall in love with a jerk.) Editor James Fallows returns briefly to his favorite role of media critic. His conclusion: Journalists can't help hurting the people they cover, but they should be less careless and cruel. The Mother Teresa article is adulatory. And a piece describes how companies are increasingly snooping through employees' e-mail, voice mail, and credit records. Employers say they need to protect themselves against lawsuits and on-the-job misbehavior. The New Yorker , Sept. 15 (posted Tuesday, Sept. 9) The celebrity-obsessed magazine publishes a special Diana issue, three days before its regular publication date of Monday. The all-star edition features elegiac pieces from Clive James, Simon Schama, Salman Rushdie, and editor/Di-acquaintance Tina Brown (Brown also did TV commentary for NBC at the funeral). James and Brown warmly remember their moments with the princess. Rushdie offers a "semiotic" analysis of Di's life and death, suggesting that Britain should abandon its fascination with monarchy. Schama traces the history of women alienated by the crown: Anne Boleyn, Eleanor of Aquitaine, and Princess Caroline of Brunswick (who?). A profile of novelist Don DeLillo is pegged to his forthcoming novel, Underworld . William Trevor contributes a short story. Weekly Standard , Sept. 15 (posted Tuesday, Sept. 9) No Diana news. The cover story both mocks and admires "latte towns," progressive, wealthy, organic communities like Burlington, Vt., and Ithaca, N.Y. What's to praise? The hippies who populate latte towns have finally embraced capitalism, and they are using private enterprise to build livable, prosperous cities. An accompanying article makes fun of several '60s do-gooders who've been arrested in recent weeks for crimes of greed. The predictions of auto-safety experts that fatalities would rise 30 percent if Congress lifted the 55-mile-per-hour speed limit have not come true, a piece reports. Fatalities have not increased, but the mainstream media have ignored this good news. --Compiled by Seth Stevenson and the editors of Slate . Economist , Jan. 24 (posted Saturday, Jan. 24) The cover editorial decries President Clinton's "temptations." 1) The Lewinsky scandal may overshadow the State of the Union, one of Clinton's last chances to "set out a distinctive programme for government." 2) Clinton is also tempted by the chance to blow the budget surplus on social spending--the Economist hopes he'll refrain. ... An article explains how game theory can help businesses. By tenuously cooperating with rivals (as Netscape, Sun, and Oracle do) and deceiving enemies, a firm can beat its competitors. ... An obituary mourns Mona May Karff, pioneering woman chess player. Karff, dead at 86, was born in Russia, moved to Boston, and won the American women's chess championship seven times. Of more than 450 international grandmasters, only six are women. The Nation , Feb. 2 and Feb. 9 (posted Friday, Jan. 23) A special double issue makes the case for nuclear disarmament. Jonathan Schell's cover story--the longest article in The Nation 's history--updates his 1982 book The Fate of the Earth . The article's conclusion: We should push for "horizontal" disarmament (taking weapons off alert, partially dismantling them) rather than "vertical" disarmament (abolishing weapons altogether). ... In an interview with Schell, Mikhail Gorbachev claims he proposed total disarmament to the Politburo. Gorbachev adds that Kremlin briefings on nuclear protocol baffled him. ... An essay pegged to Roe vs. Wade 's 25 th anniversary says that current proposals for "compromise" on abortion are ridiculous. Roe was itself a compromise: Radical feminists had lobbied for no abortion restrictions at all. New York Times Magazine , Jan. 25 (posted Friday, Jan. 23) Three articles analyze America's political apathy. One piece argues that the investing boom makes us solipsistic. Americans care too much about the state of their own stock portfolios, not enough about policies that affect us all. (Full disclosure: Slate 's Chief Political Correspondent Jacob Weisberg wrote the article.) ... Another piece claims our "placid" mood lets us ignore impending problems such as income inequality and mass layoffs. Americans should force themselves to become "indignant" in order to tackle these problems early. ... An article tracks the ongoing fight to get Food and Drug Administration approval for thalidomide, the drug that caused thousands of birth defects in the 1960s. Thalidomide relieves symptoms of AIDS and leprosy. Its new spokesperson? One of the deformed thalidomide babies, all grown up. He has reservations, but wants to help the afflicted. New Republic , Feb. 9 (posted Friday, Jan. 23) The cover story says liberals shouldn't get excited about the budget surplus because it could easily disappear. Instead, liberals should focus on a more pressing issue: building stronger unions. ... An article doubts the pope's visit to Cuba will change the country immediately, but it could encourage a more open society. That, in turn, might cause a peaceful transition from communism. ... A story says tourism is destroying the Chicago blues scene. Rich patrons flock to faux blues clubs on the yuppie North Side, while authentic blues men are left audienceless in the slums. Time and Newsweek , Jan. 26 (posted Tuesday, Jan. 20) This week's dog that didn't bark: According to the Drudge Report, Newsweek spiked a story about a Clinton affair with a 24-year-old White House intern. The story Newsweek does run about Paula Jones' sexual-harassment suit says that her lawyers are trying to prove that Clinton promoted women who slept with him. As a result, they are deposing other women linked to Clinton, including Gennifer Flowers and former White House aide Kathleen Willey. Time puts the pope and Fidel Castro on the cover, a week after Newsweek . The article rehashes the usual generalizations about their similarities: both in their 70s, both haters of rampant capitalism, etc. The difference: Catholicism will outlast Pope John Paul II; communism won't outlast Castro. Cuban official Ricardo Alarcn (see The New Yorker , below) doubts that the pope's visit will affect U.S. policy toward Cuba. ... Newsweek 's health cover story--yet another one--argues that everyone is slightly crazy. New genetic research suggests that the difference between "normal" behavior and mental illness is a matter of degree. For example: A person with one gene for obsessive-compulsive disorder might be extremely well-organized, but a person with five genes for it might be dysfunctional. (The package has a celebrity twofer: The cover shot is of Robin Williams; the inside illustrations are of cartoon shrink Dr. Katz.) Also in Newsweek , four hotshot Hollywood directors discuss the Oscars and make fun of studio execs: L.A. Confidential director Curtis Hanson predicts Titanic for best picture; Boogie Nights director Paul Thomas Anderson predicts L.A. Confidential . Time identifies the next big food boycott: swordfish. Lots of trendy restaurants have stopped serving the endangered fish. U.S. News & World Report , Jan. 26 (posted Tuesday, Jan. 20) The cover story insists that President Clinton has a distinct agenda: He emphasizes "opportunity and responsibility" (expanding day-care programs while cutting back welfare), "economic globalism" (the commitment to free trade), "fiscal discipline" (the balanced budget), and "government as 'catalyst' " (V-chip legislation). ... U.S. News runs a short interview with Clinton, as well as an accompanying piece on Clinton's obsession with second-tier, under-appreciated presidents. ... An article claims crime fiction's runaway success might kill the genre. A slew of best sellers prompted publishers to flood the market with mediocre mysteries--now readers think twice before buying. The New Yorker , Jan. 26 (posted Tuesday, Jan. 20) A special issue on Cuba. A profile examines Castro's likely successor, Ricardo Alarcn. He helped lead the Cuban revolution, lived in New York for 15 years, reads Joyce and Faulkner, and loves socialism. He vows to end the embargo and warm up relations with the United States. ... A story follows the quest to preserve Havana's crumbling buildings. Government architects restore noncontroversial, colonial-era structures. Tragically left in ruins: gorgeous Art Nouveau, Art Deco, and Modernist buildings. ... A writer prints letters he wrote while living in Cuba. At the height of the 1994 refugee escapes to Miami, the author sees his neighbor "repairing the blue fibreglass boat that has sat untended the entire time we've been here. Boats like his are now fetching up to five thousand dollars. Inner tubes went up to three hundred dollars in the last week." Atlantic Monthly , February 1998 (posted Tuesday, Jan. 20) A former CIA officer attacks the agency for recruiting tons of useless foreign agents who file reams of worthless intelligence reports. The upshot: The CIA's most talented are resigning in frustration. ... An article describes a bizarre disease that turns bodies into bone. Sufferers of fibrodysplasia ossificans progressiva remain healthy inside, but their muscles and tendons ossify, leaving them paralyzed. So far, no explanation or cure for the disease's 18 living victims. ... A story says that many astronomers now deem Pluto too small to be a planet and want it reclassified as a large asteroid. (Odd scientific fact: There is no firm definition of "planet.") On Pluto's side: tradition. --Seth Stevenson Economist , Jan. 31 (posted Saturday, Jan. 31) Clinton should resign if there is even a "shred of truth" in the Lewinsky story, argues a forceful cover editorial. Regardless of whether he committed any criminal act, Clinton should quit if he had sex with Lewinsky and lied to America about it: "It would confirm a clear pattern of Clintonite behavior, one of reckless risk-taking followed by deceit. ... That is unworthy of a president." ... A profile of Dan Quayle hints that he could be Jimmy Carter to Clinton's Nixon. If he sustains his righteous, conservative image, he'll fare well in the 2000 presidential race. Problem: He's still a dull speaker and mediocre thinker. ... An article claims that once-secular Iraq is embracing Islam. Saddam Hussein is building the world's largest mosque in order to improve his reputation in the Islamic world. His subjects are returning to Islam because it's their only relief from poverty, hunger, and unemployment. New Republic , Feb. 16 (posted Friday, Jan. 30) Seven stories on Lewinsky. One predicts that Democrats will try to dump Clinton quickly if the allegations turn out to be true: They don't want him dragging the party down to defeat in 1998 or 2000 as Nixon did the Republicans in 1974. Republicans will be happy to let Clinton cook slowly. The "TRB" column says the essential difference between Watergate and Clinterngate is that while Clinton may be personally slimy, his entire presidency is not founded on corruption and deception. A piece condemns Hillary Clinton for standing by her man. A supposedly ardent feminist, she has smeared the reputations of Clinton's female accusers in order to protect her political power. ... The editorial endorses a "just war" against Iraq but worries that Clinton is too tarnished to lead it. Esquire , February 1998 (posted Thursday, Jan. 29) The cover story: a look at O.J.'s life, post-trial. Simpson plays golf six days a week, chats amiably with gawking tourists outside his house, and thinks he'll be a star again. The writer's conclusion: O.J. himself no longer knows if he's guilty. The piece is the source of the startling, much-repeated O.J. quote: "Let's say I committed this crime. Even if I did do this, it would have to have been because I loved her very much, right?" ... A story reports from a dwarf convention that is the main courting ground for little people. Dwarf guys complain that some dwarf women won't date anyone under 4 feet tall. Fact: Dwarfs socially stratify each other based on extent of deformity--achondroplastic dwarfs (more proportional, with nondeformed faces) rule the roost. ... Esquire profiles a Utah man with four wives and 31 children. He's not in it for the sex (which is solely for procreation), he owes on four mortgages, he's wanted by the law for bigamy (quadragamy?), and he must remember eight birthdays and two wedding anniversaries in a single month. Why does he do it? It's his duty to God. The Mormon Church, which has outlawed polygamy, excommunicated him. New York Times Magazine , Feb. 1 (posted Thursday, Jan. 29) Hong Kongers are increasingly restless about Chinese rule. As the economic crisis rattles the former colony, its residents want a larger voice in running it. The worry: Hong Kong could become like its Chinese sister city Shenzhen, which is capitalist but wild, lawless, and cruel to workers. ... A piece describes the burgeoning market for Cuban girls: Beautiful young girls throw themselves at tourists in hopes of becoming kept mistresses. A few American men have actually moved to Cuba to get married. ... The cover story lionizes Chuck Close, who manages to paint astonishing Pointillist portraits despite near-total paralysis. His work is described as "Friendly Art," a backlash against modern art's harshness. Conclusion: He deserves the $400,000 he gets for each painting because he's such a good guy. Time and Newsweek , Feb. 2 (posted Tuesday, Jan. 27) Time has the better cover shot: Lewinsky, wearing a dashing DKNY beret, standing next to the president. But Newsweek 's coverage trumps Time 's. It publishes an exhaustive account of the story to date. Its package includes a long, exclusive excerpt from the Tripp tapes and an essay by George Stephanopoulos. The once-loyal Clintonite distances himself from the president: "Right now, I don't know whether to be sad, angry, or both. But if the Lewinsky charges are valid, I know this: I'm livid." Newsweek also explains its decision to hold Michael Isikoff's story last week. Primary reason: The tape Newsweek heard did not confirm or disprove the obstruction-of-justice allegation. Time counters with an evolutionary psychologist's take on Clinton's zipper problem and a defense of Matt Drudge, who first leaked the story. (Full disclosure: Slate editor Michael Kinsley wrote the Drudge defense.) Time 's main article emphasizes Hillary's role in the White House reaction: While Bill crashed on a couch, she went into overdrive. In both magazines: an examination of Kenneth Starr's legal case, a map of the White House diagraming what (allegedly) happened where, a profile of Lewinsky, a profile of Vernon Jordan, and an armchair analysis of Clinton's apparent sex compulsion. U.S. News & World Report , Feb. 2 (posted Tuesday, Jan. 27) U.S. News finishes a distant third: Its Monica coverage lacks diagrams, legal analysis, and juicy tidbits. The cover image--the president superimposed on a shadowy photo of Lewinsky--is wan. An essay says Washington is blowing the scandal out of proportion, and an article wonders how Hillary endures her husband's infidelity. (The theory: "Even if Clinton is unfaithful, his wife considers those who would use that to ruin his political career as the really bad guys. Not her Bill.") ... An article claims that Medicare fraud artists, including Russian crooks, bilk the government of billions of dollars per year. Phony clinics and labs file false bills, and the system is so big that no one notices. ... A survey on mutual funds warns that Fidelity, once a powerhouse, is now merely average. The survey also advises investors to consider moving money from stocks to bonds. The New Yorker , Feb. 2 (posted Tuesday, Jan. 27) In Monica news: 1) A profile of Tripp ally/book agent Lucianne Goldberg describes her as adventurous, aggressive, and rather amoral--a "seasoned Bond girl." Why did Goldberg get involved? "Because it's fucking fascinating. I love dish!" She denies a rumor that she had an affair with Lyndon Johnson. 2) A piece claims that the president is the real victim of the scandal. He may lose his job, reputation, and wife; the star-gazing Lewinsky, by contrast, found fame and power. 3) In the "we never thought we'd read that in The New Yorker " category, a story wonders whether Clinton will be remembered as the " 'pussy President.' " ... A long piece about fat condemns virtually all popular diets (especially the high protein, low carb ones). Weight depends more on genes and a chemical called leptin than on food intake. Good news for the obese: Scientists believe they are close to understanding and controlling leptin. ... Also, the magazine prints eight of Ted Hughes' much-discussed new poems about Sylvia Plath. Weekly Standard , Feb. 2 (posted Tuesday, Jan. 27) The general theme of Monica coverage: Clinton's presidency is over. The editorial argues that Clinton has forfeited the second chance America gave him in 1992. He's now proved himself "pathological," "unbalanced," and "compulsive." He has a "character of infinite deception and self-deception." A piece urges Republicans to use this time of Clinton paralysis to push through their agenda, especially a ban on partial-birth abortions and a tax cut. An article says the Lewinsky case will scare "many potential John Deans" into coming forward and revealing more Clintonian crimes. ... The Standard warns that Saddam Hussein is going to win the current standoff with the United States: Even if we launch airstrikes, he will preserve his chemical weapons and his hold on power. The only satisfactory option: A ground invasion that deposes/kills him. --Seth Stevenson He Has To Go The preliminaries are over. It is time to decide. Should the Senate convict President Clinton and expel him from office? My answer, after months of indecision, is a strong "Yes!" I had formerly been impressed by the argument that ousting Clinton would set a precedent for any party having a sufficient majority in Congress to get rid of any president, which would convert us into a parliamentary democracy. At one time I had thought our problem might be solved by the 25 th Amendment, which provides for the removal of a president found unable to perform the duties of his office. But that required the concurrence of the vice president, which would surely not be forthcoming. I had also thought that Clinton might save us a lot of soul-searching by resigning, but apparently he will not. At some times I thought that censure or rebuke might do as punishment and expression of indignation. I can say exactly when I came to the conclusion that Clinton had to be removed. It was the morning of Dec. 15, 1998. That was two days before the House of Representatives was to start action on impeaching him. It was also one day before he gave orders to bomb Iraq. I got out of bed that morning, took in the papers, and scanned the first page. Within 10 minutes I was decided, and not only decided, but decided with a heat that I rarely feel about public affairs. What sparked this heat was the picture of Clinton in Gaza, and the reminder of the picture of Clinton the previous day, wearing a yarmulke at the grave of Yitzhak Rabin. And I suddenly thought, "Is this the man I want representing the righteousness of America in a land sacred to billions of Jews, Christians, and Moslems?" Then I asked whether I wanted him to represent us anywhere. Do we want him laying the wreath at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier, comforting our mourners, saluting our heroes? Do I want to see his "sincere" face on television every day? No, decidedly no! No, even more decidedly no, after the bombing of Iraq. I don't know whether he decided to bomb Iraq in order to divert us from the forthcoming impeachment debate. That is the point: I don't know, and most of the world doesn't know. He has generated the belief that he is capable of taking such grave action to save his own skin. Terminating the action in Iraq without any conclusive results only a few hours after the House voted for impeachment strengthened that belief. He had started the bombing just in time to give his supporters the refuge of arguing that to impeach the commander in chief while our troops were in harm's way would be unpatriotic. He had stopped the bombing as soon as that argument became useless. That is an abuse of power! The whole episode shows how unfit he is to be president. He has polluted the atmosphere within which policy decisions are made. L ike almost everyone else, I want to get "this thing" over with. But to me "this thing" is not only the process; it is also the Clinton presidency. I don't want to punish him or have a national catharsis. I want something more practical. I want him off our screen. I admit that I never wanted Clinton to be president and never voted for him. But I was always "cool" about it. I have not been a deep-dyed Clinton hater. Except for the 1993 health care plan, and his vacillation toward Iraq, his policy has not been terrible, in my opinion. The performance of the economy during his administration has been good, and although I don't attribute very much of that to him, at least he has not been an obstacle. I don't expect any improvement, or any change, in public policy as a result of his departure. In an article I wrote during the 1996 campaign (pre-Lewinsky) I said of Clinton: But he has one serious deficiency as a president. He is prone to foolish mistakes. Every president, like everyone else, makes mistakes. Foolish mistakes are ones that could reliably have been known in advance to be mistakes. There is something in Bill Clinton--some odd combination of naivete and conceit--that makes him liable to such mistakes. He has gone too far in his foolish mistakes, and beyond foolish mistakes, and I am no longer "cool" about him as president. People who are legally fastidious say it's not the sex, it's the perjury. For me it is partly the sex. If he had lied under oath about parking illegally I wouldn't be so disgusted. But for a married man to have oral sex with a woman employee less than half his age in the Oval Office --I can't claim not to be offended by that. I have been told that is an old-fashioned, puritanical attitude. But even old-fashioned puritans have the right as citizens to protest the behavior of their president. And it is not only the perjury. It is the sophomoric deviousness of the perjury that is an insult to our intelligence. The constitutional question remains. Does his behavior add up to grounds for removal from office? The words in the Constitution, "high crimes and misdemeanors," give us much latitude. If the framers had wanted to limit us more they could have been more specific. Essentially, they left the judgment to us--not to an opinion poll or even to our political representatives who are closest to the people but to our most senior political representatives, the Senate. My opinion is that not every perjury is a "high" crime, as grounds for removing a president from office. But I believe that Clinton's performance, before and after his perjuries, has universally generated such a response of disapproval, ranging from cynicism to disgust, as to degrade the ability of the presidency to serve its function. Clinton has said that it is his goal to degrade the ability of Saddam Hussein to threaten Iraq's neighbors. But Clinton has degraded the ability of the president of the United States to lead the nation and the world. That is a high crime. I am still concerned about the risk of setting a precedent for opposition majorities in Congress to remove presidents for purely political reasons. Future generations will have to deal with that. For now we have to set the precedent that presidents of the United States should so behave themselves as to merit the confidence of the world. This is a big country, and surely we can find men and women in it who are as capable of being president as Mr. Clinton is and who are also able to commit themselves to good behavior. The Constitution requires a vote of at least two-thirds of the Senate to convict and expel a president. The Republicans will not have a two-thirds majority, and Clinton cannot be convicted on the votes of Republicans alone. That is a good thing. The precedent-setting risk would be greater if the president were convicted by a strictly party-line vote. The case against the president should be strong enough to justify some members of his own party voting against him. In the case of this president, it is. Economist , April 4 (posted Saturday, April 4) The cover editorial warns big telecom companies that their days are numbered. Supposed advantages at home (a trusted brand, political influence) will be useless in the booming international market. Risk-averse, slow-moving dinosaurs (e.g., British Telecom) will be crushed by quicker, hungrier companies with newer technology (e.g., WorldCom, Qwest). ... An editorial urges the United States to take a more commanding role in the Middle East peace process. Israel has tried American patience with its reluctance to accede to the West Bank redeployment agreement. The United States must now use its clout to arbitrate a solution once and for all. ... A story says the moonshine industry is still huge in the southern United States, but it has left behind its rustic past. Modern moonshiners cost Virginia $20 million a year in lost taxes, often carry heavy arms, and are moving into the drug trade. New Republic , April 20 (posted Friday, April 3) The cover story defends pork-barrel spending. Pork represents a tiny portion of the federal budget, and it greases the wheels of politics. Conceding tiny bits of pork (job programs for border states) to pass huge legislation (NAFTA) is a wise trade-off. ... An article slams Sen. Daniel Patrick Moynihan's new Social Security proposal. Widely hailed as "courageous," the plan is just a politically motivated concession to privatization hawks. (For more on the plan, see Jodie T. Allen's "Can Newt Gingrich Save Social Security?" in Slate .) ... "TRB" claims that Clinton's scandal woes stem from his triangulating politics. When a president co-opts the opposition's ideas, staunching policy debate, the opposition resorts to personal attacks (e.g., Andrew Johnson, Richard Nixon). New York Times Magazine , April 5 (posted Thursday, April 2) Another special issue (they win--we've run out of jokes about this). Eleven articles chronicle--exhaustively--"the joy and guilt of modern motherhood." High banality quotient: A piece follows a stay-at-home mom who left a law practice to rear three kids. She wouldn't change a thing about her rewarding life. Another follows a mother who works full time and lets dad and nanny care for the kids. She wouldn't change a thing about her rewarding life, either. Also, photo essays cover the boom in multiple births (triplets, quads, etc.--many cute babies) and the new maternity fashions. Entertainment Weekly , April 3 (posted Thursday, April 2) The celebrity-obsessed magazine surpasses itself in the post-Oscar issue. Glam-filled recapping of the ceremony and the parties, plus grades for celebrities' outfits, all with a delightfully high level of bitchiness. EW 's fashion panel loves Helen Hunt's Oscar dress but thinks she's too waify: Joan Rivers squawks, "She weighs less than Kate Winslet's arm." Throughout, much dish (e.g., jilted Minnie Driver glared at ex-beau Matt Damon when he won his screenwriting Oscar and steered clear of the it-boy at the parties). Time and Newsweek , April 6 (posted Tuesday, March 31) The newsweeklies disagree on the causes on the Jonesboro killings. Time 's cover story blames the murders on everything from Mortal Kombat to South Park to absentee parenting. Newsweek 's cover focuses more on America's gun culture but prefers to pronounce this a "senseless tragedy." Both magazines print schematics of the crime scene-- Time 's is more realistic and chilling. On the 30 th anniversary of Martin Luther King Jr.'s assassination, Newsweek excerpts a new book that claims to prove James Earl Ray was indeed King's killer and that he acted alone. The piece systematically rejects all the popular conspiracy theories (FBI, white supremacists, "Raul," etc.). ... Newsweek discovers the latest trend among Silicon Valley millionerds: etiquette training. For $150 a lesson, geeks learn how to use the right fork and make small talk. ("But enough about me. How much are you worth?") Time investigates American exports of electric shock devices. Manufacturers of stun weapons, sold domestically to police departments, have shipped shock batons and Tasers to countries such as Saudi Arabia, Turkey, and South Africa, where they are allegedly used to torture prisoners. ... A Time article says Viagra, the soon to be released male anti-impotence pill, may also be used for women. The pill would increase blood flow to women's genitals, improving sensation and lubrication. The Food and Drug Administration has not yet approved its use for women. U.S. News & World Report , April 6 (posted Tuesday, March 31) Apropos of nothing (again), U.S. News goes with a military cover: "Submarine!" (Three weeks ago, it published an equally untimely cover on 20 th century military strategists.) Inside: a description of life aboard a nuclear sub and an examination of subs' changing roles (less defense, more espionage). The pullout cross section of a sub is fascinating. ... A story reports on the focus-grouping of classical music. Classical stations now use market research to determine playlists. (Sorry, solo violinists--listeners find you "intrusive.") The New Yorker , April 6 (posted Tuesday, March 31) A piece likens the recent surge in multiple personality disorder to 19 th century hysteria. Real MPD is incredibly rare, but therapists in the 1980s and early '90s "diagnosed" it in thousands of women: They hypnotized patients by the thousand, persuaded them that they had been sexually abused by family members, and then induced them to discover other personalities. Lawsuits by damaged patients and HMO limits on therapist payments have ended the MPD craze. ... Hickman Ewing, Ken Starr's chief deputy, is profiled: A born-again Christian and a moralist, Ewing is engaged in a vendetta against the Clintons. Of one Hillary Clinton deposition, he says, "She was a liar--on all topics." Ewing, not Starr, seems to be the zealot in the independent counsel's office. ... Film critic David Denby writes a long harangue against the modern movie industry. Chief complaints: Studios prefer cheap irony to real emotion, and young moviegoers don't care about seeing good movies--they prefer mass-market schlock to complex films such as L.A. Confidential . Weekly Standard , April 6 (posted Tuesday, March 31) In the cover story, Unabomber victim David Gelernter argues that Ted Kaczynski should have been executed. Instead, Kaczynski will be able to use his prison cell as a bully pulpit, writing more screeds and receiving press attention. Kaczynski "traded up; he used to live in an unimproved shack in the wilderness." ... An essay calls for Congress to address Social Security immediately. The new plan from Sen. Daniel Patrick Moynihan, D-N.Y., is a good starting point because it incorporates some Republican ideas on privatization. ... An article claims Boris Yeltsin was right to sack his Cabinet, since Prime Minister Viktor Chernomyrdin was anti-market and anti-reform. With a relatively calm and stable Russia, Yeltsin picked the right time to shake things up. --Seth Stevenson Economist , May 30 (posted Saturday, May 30, 1998 ) The cover editorial deplores rich Americans' lack of charity. The newly wealthy don't give enough and don't give creatively. They are breaking the "unspoken contract that underpins the American dream." ... An editorial urges strong sanctions for Pakistan in light of its nuclear tests. We must deter potential future testers by making an example of Pakistan, despite Pakistan's inevitable claims that India started it and that India is a richer country, better able to withstand sanctions. ... Latest Viagra angle: Can it save endangered species? Among the endangered animals poached for aphrodisiacs are tigers (for their penises--made into a soup) and rhinoceroses (for their horns--made into a powder). We'll pass on "nine-penis wine," apparently a hit in Southeast Asia. New York Times Magazine , May 31 (posted Saturday, May 30, 1998) The cover story follows investors seeking opportunity amid the economic chaos in Southeast Asia. Western investors will determine which countries and businesses bounce back and which don't. (Bet on Thailand and Korea to make it.) Big surprise: The opening of Asian companies' books has shown they were horribly run, debt-laden messes, even during the boom years. ... A story wonders why Jerry Brown wants to be mayor of Oakland. Once governor of the entire state, Brown now seeks to fix potholes. Minority mayoral candidates see paternalism in Brown's campaign. (Oakland is 43 percent black.) New Republic , June 15 (posted Friday, May 29, 1998) The cover piece says Democrats have a new strategy for winning back Republican congressional seats: Be Republicans. Some of the "Democratic" candidates currently supported by the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee are pro-life, pro-death-penalty, anti-union, anti-gun-control, and pro-school-prayer. Party leaders will do anything to regain a House majority. ... A story defends the Scholastic Assessment Test. SATs are blamed for perpetuating racial bias at elite schools, but actually they are a good measure of where kids stand and of what sort of education best suits them. ... A story praises the experiment of a public boarding school in New Jersey. The school, which receives half of its funding from donations, distances inner-city kids from the distractions they face at home. While not workable on a grand scale, the idea holds promise for areas where donations would be plentiful. GQ , June 1998 (posted Friday, May 29, 1998) A chilling story about an American man's murder of his mail-order wife exposes the dark side of the hired-bride industry. The brides (most of them Filipinas) marry to escape poverty. The men promise money to the brides' families, then often treat the wives as sex slaves, or worse. ... An essay claims popular culture is now so kid-oriented that kids have no model for mature adulthood. Robin Williams personifies the modern father--feminized and juvenile, with no interests beyond his own children. Time and Newsweek , June 1 (posted Wednesday, May 27, 1998) Time 's cover piece gushes over The Truman Show , Jim Carrey's forthcoming film. The movie, about a man who's unaware that his whole life is televised, leaves "the viewer with a spectral feeling that somehow warms: the shiver of radiance." Carrey's performance is deemed brilliant. Newsweek also raves, calling the film "miraculous" and the first Carrey vehicle "that is anywhere near as complicated as Carrey himself." ... Newsweek 's cover story praises the Rev. Eugene Rivers, Boston-based crime fighter/man of faith. Across the country, programs like Rivers' combine religion, no-nonsense attitude, and partnerships with the police to keep good kids off the streets and send irredeemable kids to jail. Newsweek says organic food often contains pesticides from rainwater or dust and is no more nutritious or tasty than conventionally grown fare. Time 's package on the Microsoft antitrust case features an interview with Assistant Attorney General Joel Klein; thumbnail sketches of the major players; a long rundown of Microsoft's many holdings, partnerships, and investments; and a short history of Netscape's meteoric rise and subsequent fragility. U.S. News & World Report , June 1 (posted Wednesday, May 27, 1998) The cover story says the antitrust case isn't Microsoft's biggest worry. In fact, ingenious competitors (e.g., PalmPilot) and Microsoft's own lumbering hugeness may be the company's undoing. ... A story claims identity theft is the "crime of the '90s." Thieves steal your Social Security number to gain loans and charge cards. Bill collectors hunt you, and once your credit rating goes south it's nearly impossible to restore it. The New Yorker , June 1 (posted Wednesday, May 27, 1998) An article marvels at Michael Jordan's phenomenal skills as a ... corporate pitchman. Jordan is the greatest endorser in history because he's "at once credible and incredible"--an unbelievable athlete and a warm, charming person. Jordan, who's interviewed, comes across as very smart, rather conservative, and much less avaricious than you might expect. There is a jaw-dropping list of Jordan-endorsed products, including potholders and first-aid kits. ... A piece pegged to the Ken Starr investigation deplores the law's increasing indifference to privacy. Virtually any diary or utterance to a friend can now be used against you. Until 30 years ago such invasions would have been unconscionable, but they are now commonplace, thanks to bad Supreme Court decisions. Sadly, only libertarians are battling this erosion of privacy. ... A review of Jim McDougal's book says it's a "devastating portrait" of Clinton and implicates the president "in at least four felonies." The Nation , June 8 (posted Wednesday, May 27, 1998) The fourth installment of The Nation 's attack on the "National Entertainment State." The target this time is television. A foldout chart shows that seven companies (Disney, Viacom, Time Warner, CBS, GE, TCI, and News Corp.) control virtually all network and cable television. (Exceptions: C-SPAN, PBS, and the Weather Channel.) Articles chronicle the phenomenal efforts by the seven firms, especially Rupert Murdoch's News Corp., to protect their franchises by lobbying Washington. How can regular folks fight corporate television? The Nation urges challenges to FCC licenses: Such challenges force TV stations and networks to pay attention to public-interest programming or risk going off the air. Weekly Standard , June 1 (posted Wednesday, May 27, 1998) The cover package condemns the Clinton administration's China policy and labels Clinton's upcoming China trip the "Tiananmen Square Summit." Clinton is blasted for taking donations from Chinese military sources, facilitating technology transfer to China, and appeasing the still brutal, still Communist dictatorship. A piece acknowledges that the Bush administration also allowed technology transfers to Beijing but says that the Republicans monitored such transfers much better than the Democrats have. --Seth Stevenson Movies Donnie Brasco (TriStar/Sony). Despite a general expression of weariness with mob movies, Donnie Brasco is deemed a critical success. Critics give three reasons: 1) A buddy pairing of unusual moral complexity between an undercover agent (Johnny Depp) and his Mafia mentor (Al Pacino). 2) Nuanced acting from the usually overwrought Pacino. 3) A star turn by Depp, who delivers "an intense, quietly flawless performance" (Joe Morgenstern, the Wall Street Journal ). (The Donnie Brasco site has stills, clips, and a game that enables virtual infiltration of the mob.) Smilla's Sense of Snow (Fox Searchlight Pictures/20 th Century Fox). Critics extol the charms of British actress Julia Ormond but pan Danish director Bille August's adaptation of Peter Hoeg's 1993 best-selling glaciological whodunit. "What will surprise everyone is the dry iciness, the burning coldness of Ormond's Smilla," says Time 's Richard Schickel. The movie itself is said to be a muddle. The New Yorker 's Terrence Rafferty describes it as "a ghost story that thinks it's a murder mystery," complete with Arctic Circle chase scenes at the end. "Soggy Euro-pudding," says the British Independent . Music David Helfgott World Tour . Journalists decry the exploitation of David Helfgott, the mentally ill former piano prodigy and subject of the biopic Shine , as a "freak show" ( Sydney Morning Herald ). They point out that during the first leg of his tour in Australia, he lost his place in midperformance, screamed while playing, and wandered into the audience. His David Helfgott Plays Rachmaninov (RCA/Victor), currently No. 2 on Billboard 's classical-music charts, is "more listenable than his live recitals," says Newsweek , but it is "still muddy, noisy and boring." Television Crisis Center (NBC, Fridays at 10 p.m. EST). Critics find NBC's latest dramatic series insufferable. Daily Variety 's Ray Richmond says the show, which focuses on volunteers in a San Francisco community clinic, "has the disconcerting effect of a neon sign flashing, 'We're doing television that makes a difference.' " (In the first episode, underage Asian prostitutes are clothed, teens are prevented from committing suicide, and a kidnapped baby with spina bifida is returned to its parents.) The Washington Post's Tom Shales suggests another name for the series: "A Bunch of Klutzes Who Should Mind Their Own Business." (Click here to go to NBC's plug for Crisis Center .) Feds (CBS, Wednesdays at 9 p.m. EST). Law & Order executive producer Dick Wolf's latest law-enforcement drama is anointed the best among the midseason shows. Despite the familiarity of its premise (government lawyers hunt down villains and prosecute them), it is said to be less than formulaic. New York 's John Leonard praises the cast, which includes Blair Brown ( The Days and Nights of Molly Dodd ) and Regina Taylor ( I'll Fly Away ). (See the Feds page on the CBS site.) Arsenio (ABC, Wednesdays at 9:30 p.m. EST). Former late-night talk-show host Arsenio Hall told Newsweek that he wanted his sitcom about a cable sportscaster to be a conventional comedy about black urban professionals. Critics agree that it's a conventional comedy. "The show has all the flair of an Oxford shirt set off by a rep tie," says Time's Ginia Bellafante. Just Shoot Me (NBC, premieres Tuesday, March 4, at 9:30 p.m. EST; regular air time Wednesdays at 9:30 p.m. EST). Yet another sitcom about a single female journalist, this one has a high-profile cast (George Segal; sex, lies, and videotape 's Laura San Giacomo; and Saturday Night Live 's David Spade). "If NBC wanted to clone its sitcoms, you think it could aim higher than Suddenly Susan and The Naked Truth ," says USA Today 's Matt Roush. (Preview the show on the Just Shoot Me page.) Books Crazy Rhythms: Richard Nixon and All That Jazz , by Leonard Garment (Times Books). Nixon lawyer and defender Leonard Garment emerges as the anti-Dick Morris--a charming neurotic, free of self-importance and attentive to emotional nuance. Reviewers focus on Garment's past as a clarinetist, on Nixon's insecurities, and on the unlikely friendship between the anti-Semite and the Jew: "Count Metternich, meet Woody Allen" (Thomas DeFrank, the Washington Post). First-Novel Roundup : Time and the Wall Street Journal award measured praise to Lives of the Monster Dogs , by Kirsten Bakis (Farrar, Straus & Giroux), and Fugitive Pieces , by Anne Michaels (Knopf). Lives of the Monster Dogs tells the story of dogs outfitted with voice boxes and prosthetic hands who move to New York and become socialites. "Ms. Bakis, with admirable audacity, has set herself the almost impossible task of making these dogs 'human' and just misses the mark," says the Journal . Fugitive Pieces is a poetic telling of the life of a Holocaust-survivor-turned-poet. "Her prose does not race; it hovers, insinuating its way in and around timeless mysteries," says Time . Both novels, however, are said to be excessively self-conscious. Time also considers Necessary Madness , by 19-year-old Jenn Crowell (G.P. Putnam's), noteworthy. The book itself, the story of a 30-year-old American widow in London, is unimpressive. But the author's precociousness has already led to the sale of the foreign rights and to a major movie deal. Theater The Last Night of Ballyhoo (Helen Hayes Theater, New York). The new play by Alfred Uhry ( Driving Miss Daisy )--a romantic comedy about self-hating Jews in Atlanta on the eve of World War II--is said to teeter between the "the serious-comedy tradition of Neil Simon's autobiographical trilogy" (Linda Winer, Newsday ) and sitcom schmaltz. "Its form is the theatrical equivalent of comfort food, something for those who like their nostalgia repackaged in the guise of something new," says the New York Times ' Ben Brantley. Variety predicts several Tony Award nominations. Recent "Summary Judgment" columns: Feb. 26: Movie -- The Empire Strikes Back: Special Edition ; Movie -- Lost Highway ; Movie -- Rosewood ; Television -- Schindler's List ; Television -- Miss Evers' Boys ; Book -- Monster: Living Off the Big Screen , by John Gregory Dunne; Book-- American Sphinx: The Character of Thomas Jefferson , by Joseph J. Ellis; Book -- Whittaker Chambers: A Biography , by SamTanenhaus; Theater -- Stanley . Feb. 19: Television -- Thomas Jefferson ; Television -- Emma ; Movie --Absolute Power ; Movie -- Blood and Wine ; Book -- Gladstone: A Biography , by Roy Jenkins; Book -- Asylum , by Patrick McGrath; Book -- Hungry Ghosts: Mao's Secret Famine , by Jasper Becker; Art --"Henry Darger: The Unreality of Being." Feb. 12: CD -- Pat Boone in a Metal Mood: No More Mr. Nice Guy , by Pat Boone; Movie -- Dante's Peak ; Movie -- When We Were Kings ; Movie -- Prisoner of the Mountains ; Book -- What Falls Away: A Memoir , by Mia Farrow; Book -- Before the Dawn: An Autobiography , by Gerry Adams; Book -- A Supposedly Fun Thing I'll Never Do Again: Essays and Arguments , by David Foster Wallace; Television -- The Chris Rock Show . Feb. 5: Book -- Personal History , by Katharine Graham; Book -- What It Means to Be a Libertarian: A Personal Interpretation , by Charles Murray; Book -- Do the Windows Open? , by Julie Hecht; Movie -- Gridlock'd ; Movie -- Waiting for Guffman ; Art --"Willem de Kooning: The Late Paintings, the 1980s"; Theater -- Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus ; Event --"On Cultural Power: The Wilson-Brustein Discussion." --Compiled by Franklin Foer and the editors of Slate . Guilt by Acquisition When the German car maker Daimler-Benz announced plans to acquire a controlling share of Chrysler Corp., Jewish novelist Cynthia Ozick announced in the Wall Street Journal that she would never buy a Chrysler. Other Jews (some of whom would never buy a Chrysler because they'd only ever buy a Mercedes) saw the issue very differently. Last May, shortly after the merger was announced, the Jewish Bulletin carried an article by Natalie Weinstein surveying the range of opinion, particularly among Holocaust survivors. The responses ran the predictable gamut. Some agreed with Ozick. But others, such as Rabbi Ted Alexander, took their cues from Deuteronomy, which admonishes that "Fathers shall not be put to death for children, neither shall children be put to death for fathers." "Going by that verse of the Torah," said the rabbi, "I cannot blame this generation." The rabbi's analogy treats the Daimler-Benz of 1998 as the "child" of the Daimler-Benz that employed slave laborers in 1943. From a strictly legal perspective, the analogy is inaccurate: Under the law, a corporation lives forever. The entity that controls Chrysler is exactly the same entity that collaborated with the Nazis, not a descendant. But it would be wrong to view an essentially moral question from a strictly legal perspective. A corporation is not a moral entity; it's the corporation's flesh and blood owners who are moral entities. From that perspective, the rabbi's analogy fails in a different way: The current owners of Daimler-Benz are not, by and large, the children of previous owners from half a century ago. Stocks trade hands every day. That observation seems to strengthen Alexander's position. If we should not punish children for the sins of their fathers, then surely we should not punish children for the sins of their fathers' countrymen. But that analysis can be definitive only to those who believe that nothing can be added to the words of Deuteronomy; otherwise there's more to be said. When is it permissible to punish one person for the wrongs of another? The question is a tangle of moral and economic issues. Morally, we're concerned with things such as justice, fairness, and individual rights. Economically, we're concerned with creating good incentives. To see how uncomfortable it can be when economic and moral issues brush up against each other, consider the revision of accident law that's been proposed by the economist-iconoclast-law professor David Friedman. Friedman suggests that when two cars collide causing a total of, say, $10,000 worth of damage, everyone who was within a mile of the accident should be required to pay a fine of $10,000. That way, anyone who sees an accident about to happen will take all cost-justified measures to prevent it (perhaps by honking furiously to warn of impending danger). To my knowledge, Friedman's proposal has never struck anyone as fair, but at least it gets the incentives right. Or does it? My own view is that the Friedman plan fails even by its own strictly economic criteria, because it creates an incentive for people to avoid high-accident areas and take inefficiently long routes to wherever they're going--or to cancel their trips entirely. In principle, it could even increase the accident rate by scaring potential good Samaritans off the roads. Enforcement, of course, would be a nightmare. Those objections aside, Friedman's proposal does illustrate the tension between economic and moral considerations. And Friedman's innocent bystanders are at least partly analogous to Daimler-Benz's innocent stockholders. Let's keep those lessons in the back of our minds as we revisit the DaimlerChrysler controversy. Corporations can be punished for misdeeds in at least two ways. One is a consumer boycott and another is a (voluntary or involuntary) fine. Both kinds of punishment have been visited on Daimler-Benz (though arguably at levels that are small compared with the underlying offenses). In the 1980s, the corporation paid about $11 million to the descendants of its slave laborers. Who exactly suffers from those punishments? You might think the $11 million came from the pockets of those who owned Daimler-Benz stock in the 1980s, but that's not necessarily the case. Suppose, for the sake of argument, that in 1950 it becomes foreseeable that Daimler-Benz will eventually make reparations. Then every share of Daimler-Benz stock sold between 1950 and 1980 sells at a discount reflecting that expectation. Without the discount, nobody would buy the stock. So given sufficient foresight, the prospect of a 1980 punishment hurts the 1950 owners, even if they sell in the interim. And those who buy stocks after 1950 are not punished at all, because the discount compensates them for the fine. Therefore, if all companies are permanently on notice that bad behavior will eventually be punished, they have an incentive to behave well at all times. That's an outcome that seems both fair and economically efficient: The punishment falls on the sinners and thereby deters the sin. But here are two caveats: First, even if punishment is inevitable, it falls not on the owners at the time when the sin is committed, but on the owners at the time when the sin is discovered. After all, it's not till the discovery that the stock price falls. So punishing past corporate sins is not like fining everyone who was present when an accident occurred, but when it was reported, which seems both unfair and pointless. But this caveat has a countercaveat: The prospect of future punishments gives you an incentive to investigate the corporation's history before you buy, which improves the chance that bad behavior can be uncovered while the actual perpetrators can still be punished. Second, it's hard to maintain a consumer boycott, especially when the goal is to punish the past rather than to influence the future. Consumers can quite reasonably argue that history can't be changed and so is best forgotten. As a result, corporations have little to fear from boycotts unless consumers commit themselves to maintaining the boycotts even when they serve no purpose. It's hard to imagine how such commitments might be maintained, which suggests that fines are more effective than boycotts, especially if they are written into law rather than imposed on an ad hoc basis. If you're looking for a firm conclusion to all this, you'll have to look elsewhere; I hope I've at least illuminated some of the attendant moral and economic issues--though even these can become very different in situations that are superficially similar. (Click for an example.) And punishing evil corporations is very different from punishing evil governments. In the first case, we punish stockholders who invested voluntarily, while in the second we punish taxpayers who might have bitterly opposed their government's policies. But that is a topic for another column. Music Spiceworld , by the Spice Girls (Virgin). Critics call the British pop group a triumph of marketing over taste (their debut album sold 18 million copies). Their new album is deemed particularly offensive. "[B]land, half-hearted harmonizing ... so slickly produced that most techno-pop sounds positively organic by comparison," says the Los Angeles Times ' Natalie Nichols. The group is said to have overplayed its fame by appearing in too many commercials. Prediction: It will soon become a pop-history footnote. (A dissenting minority calls the new album irresistible and compares the group to the Swedish band ABBA.) ("Hi! We're the Spice Girls" is the official site. For Slate 's take, see David Plotz's "Assessment.") Museum P.S. 1 Contemporary Arts Center (New York City). A Queens elementary school turned art gallery undergoes an $8.5-million renovation and becomes the "world's largest contemporary art space." Art critics welcome the expansion, pointing out that the gallery now can exhibit oversized installations most museums can't accommodate. Works by young, experimental, and overlooked artists are also displayed in bathrooms, basements, stairwells, and halls. Highlights: an entirely white painting by Robert Ryman hanging in an old coal bin and a three-story steel chair by Marina Abramovic. "[A] highly entertaining spectacle," says New York 's Mark Stevens. Movie Red Corner (MGM). Critics applaud Richard Gere's China-bashing activism but sneer at his China-bashing movie. Gere plays an arrogant American wheeler-dealer in Beijing who is accused wrongly of murdering a woman and then subjected to the horrors of the Chinese judicial system. The plot twists are dismissed as hackneyed, borrowed from Cold War thrillers and courtroom melodramas. The depiction of Chinese life is said to be so grim that it "verges on the xenophobic" (Kenneth Turan, the Los Angeles Times ). (See the Red Corner site.) Books Violin , by Anne Rice (Knopf). Has the gothic horror writer and sometime soft-core pornographer lost her touch? Her "overwrought prose has gone grotesquely rococo," says Entertainment Weekly 's Vanessa Friedman. This novel, about a widow who finds happiness communing with ghosts, switches narrators and plot lines so often that it is said to be unreadable--and pretentious, particularly when Rice holds forth on Catholic theology and classical music. But some reviewers claim to have relished the book's spirit of kitschy fun. (Random House has a gothic page devoted to Rice.) My Brother , by Jamaica Kincaid (Farrar, Straus & Giroux). Kincaid's memoir of her impoverished childhood in Antigua, occasioned by the death of her half-brother from AIDS. Some reviews praise the book, which was nominated for a National Book Award, for sidestepping the clichs of the genre. She refuses "to oversimplify, overanalyze or sentimentalize," says the New York Times Book Review 's Anna Quindlen. Others take her to task for revisiting her favorite obsession, her childhood. It's time for her "to tell us something new" (John Skow, Time ). (Click here for Sarah Kerr's review in Slate and here for an excerpt from the book.) Opera Xerxes , by G. F. Handel, libretto by Nicolo Minato and Silvio Stampiglia, performed by the New York City Opera (New York State Theater, New York City). Raves for the New York debut of 31-year-old countertenor David Daniel, hailed as the " 'next Pavarotti' ... who stirs inarticulate passion by singing very much like a woman" (Mark Levine, The New Yorker ). Critics are surprised by the success of the New York City Opera at transposing Handel's piece from ancient Greece to 18 th -century England. On other occasions, the company has seemed more like a "postgraduate workshop for the promising and ill-prepared" (Bernard Holland, the New York Times ). (Click here for a schedule.) Updates Raves give way to pans for the musical Triumph of Love. New York 's John Simon says the Broadway adaptation of the comedy by 18 th -century French playwright Pierre Marivaux includes "rowdiness and bawdry [which] are as out of place as a belch in a declaration of love." The New York Observer 's John Heilpern says the actors "oversell their wares." ... In the New Republic , Robert Boyers condemns John Updike for setting his sci-fi novel Toward the End of Time in the aftermath of a horrific conflagration. "It uses the moral and historical grandeur of a world war to promote its cranky local obsessions to a level of universality and interest that they do not deserve." Recent "Summary Judgment" columns Oct. 29: Movie -- Gattaca ; Movie -- A Life Less Ordinary ; Theater -- Triumph of Love ; Book -- Speaking Truth to Power , by Anita F. Hill; Television -- Rodgers and Hammerstein's Cinderella (ABC); Television -- Lewis & Clark: The Journey of the Corps of Discovery (PBS); Music -- The Velvet Rope , by Janet Jackson; Dance -- Merce Cunningham: Forward & Reverse (Brooklyn Academy of Music). Oct. 22: Movie -- The Devil's Advocate ; Death --James Michener; Book -- Jackie Robinson: A Biography , by Arnold Rampersad; Theater -- Side Show ; Architecture --New Jersey Performing Arts Center (Newark, N.J.); Fashion --Wearable Computers (Massachusetts Institute of Technology Media Lab); Music -- Psych , by Cesar Franck (New York Philharmonic). Oct. 15: Movie -- Seven Years in Tibet ; Movie -- Boogie Nights ; Fashion --Versace, Spring/Summer '98 Collections; Product --Internet Explorer 4.0; Award --Nobel Prize for Literature, Dario Fo; Book -- How the Mind Works , by Steven Pinker. Oct. 8: Movie -- U-Turn ; Movie -- Washington Square ; Movie -- Soul Food ; Architecture --Guggenheim Museum (Bilbao, Spain); Book -- Toward the End of Time , by John Updike; Death --Roy Lichtenstein. --Franklin Foer Museum J. Paul Getty Museum (Los Angeles). The oil magnate's museum for European art expands its collection and moves to a new campus--"the most expensive art complex in American history" (Robert Hughes, Time ). Modernist architect Richard Meier's eclectic buildings, which echo Le Corbusier and Frank Lloyd Wright, receive mostly raves. "A symphonic set of variations on the classical elements of 20 th -century structure" (Herbert Muschamp, the New York Time s). Some detractors say the buildings simply replicate Meier's designs for other galleries in Atlanta and Indiana. And some East Coast critics say Los Angeles doesn't deserve such a good museum. (Richard Meier plugs his project.) Theater The Old Neighborhood , by David Mamet (Booth Theater, New York City). The hard-edged playwright turns introspective with three autobiographical one-acts about his midlife crises and assimilated Judaism. "His most emotionally accessible drama to date," says the New York Times ' Ben Brantley. As always, most critics rave over Mamet's sardonic humor and street-smart dialogue. Others complain the plays are pretentious and without much plot. Some detractors ridicule Mamet's language for its "terrible syntax, clichs, non-sequiturs, idiocies--but, man, that's how people talk!" (John Simon, New York ). Movies Flubber (Buena Vista Pictures). Disney's remake of The Absent Minded Professor (1961), with Robin Williams in the lead role, draws a big audience (earning $10.7 million its opening weekend) and critical derision. "Slow, flat and dumb" says the Chicago Sun-Times ' Roger Ebert. Critics find Williams' character surprisingly unlikable, causing some to conclude that the comedian has hit a midcareer slump. The film's saving grace is its special effects, particularly the green, gravity-defying slime that Williams' scientist creates. (See Disney's site for the movie.) Welcome to Sarajevo (Miramax). Respectful doubts about this film about a British war reporter who saves an orphaned Bosnian girl. Reviewers say its conventional use of melodrama cheapens the atrocities of the Yugoslavian war. "Some of the shocks here are too sadly predictable," says the New York Times ' Janet Maslin. Still, critics applaud its explicit condemnation of the United States' passive Bosnia policy, and Woody Harrelson's portrayal of a blowhard TV reporter. Television Public Housing (PBS; click here for local listings). Veteran filmmaker Frederick Wiseman's three-hour documentary about a Chicago public-housing project wins critical approval. Reviewers praise Wiseman's signature minimalist style--no narrator, no music, long unedited scenes--and his willingness to face up to the intractability of poverty. "Like a dense poem," says the Chicago Tribune 's Steve Johnson. Wiseman reveals "the impotence, for poverty, of the talking cure--the endless stream of sex-education classes, group-therapy sessions, self-esteem talks ... directed by the haves at the have-nots," says Slate 's Walter Kirn. (PBS plugs the show.) Book Release 2.0: A Design for Living in the Digital Age , by Esther Dyson (Broadway Books). Critics scoff at high-tech guru Esther Dyson's claims that the Internet will expand democracy, build communities, and liberate workers. "A cross between New Age philosophy and 1950s hyperbole," says Slate 's Joseph Nocera. The New York Times ' Michiko Kakutani says Dyson naively "downplays the [Web's] perils," among them new opportunities for invasive voyeurs and shysters. Others gripe that Dyson recycles her previously published magazine articles, writes turgid prose, and puts too much faith in the free market. (Click here for the Release 2.0 site.) Photography "Weegee's World: Life, Death, and the Human Drama" (International Center of Photography Midtown, New York City). With this retrospective, the newspaper photographer Arthur Fellig a k a "Weegee" (1899-1968) is judged a technical virtuoso, a great artist, and an inspiration to his followers. Critics marvel at his knack for arriving at murder scenes before the police. Others blame him for today's news media's voyeurism and disapprove of his borderline ethics (he composed scenes that he passed off as spontaneous). "His influence was like a rock dropped in a pond: its ripples are still spreading," says the New York Times ' Vicki Goldberg. (Click here for the museum's site and here for Weegee samples.) Update The New Republic 's Stanley Kauffmann calls Francis Ford Coppola's The Rainmaker generic. "Must we simply face the iron fact that current filmmaking conditions have deprived still another individual director of his individuality?" Recent "Summary Judgment" columns Nov. 26: Movie-- Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil ; Movie -- John Grisham's The Rainmaker ; Movie -- Alien Resurrection ; Book -- Ronald Reagan: How an Ordinary Man Became an Extraordinary Leader , by Dinesh D'Souza; Theater -- Ivanov ; Music -- Standing Stone , by Paul McCartney. Nov. 19: Movie -- The Jackal ; Movie -- Anastasia ; Movie -- The Sweet Hereafter ; Theater -- The Lion King ; Book -- Another City, Not My Own: A Novel in the Form of a Memoir , by Dominick Dunne; Art --"Egon Schiele: The Leopold Collection, Vienna" (Museum of Modern Art). Nov. 12: Movie -- Starship Troopers ; Movie -- The Wings of the Dove ; Movie -- Mad City ; Theater -- Proposal ; Book -- The Dark Side of Camelot , by Seymour M. Hersh; Book -- Alfred C. Kinsey: A Public/Private Life , by James H. Jones; Book -- Joy of Cooking: The All-Purpose Cookbook ; Art --"The Warhol Look/Glamour Fashion Style" (Whitney Museum). Nov. 5: Music -- Spiceworld , by the Spice Girls; Museum --P.S. 1 Contemporary Arts Center; Movie -- Red Corner ; Book -- Violin , by Anne Rice; Book -- My Brother , by Jamaica Kincaid; Opera -- Xerxes , New York City Opera. --Franklin Foer Death Sonny Bono (1935-1998). After his death in a skiing accident, the pop-singer-turned-congressman is elevated from a "hen-pecked, dim bulb" (Jill Lawrence, USA Today ) to "a symbol of the American capacity for reinvention" ( Newsweek ). Many critics conclude that Bono was not as buffoonish as his public image, which they claim he self-consciously cultivated to advance his career. They judge him an underappreciated songwriter and say his lasting legacy will be The Sonny & Cher Comedy Hour , "one of the first to slickly package the counterculture for mass consumption" (Albert Kim, Entertainment Weekly ). Books A Prayer for the City , by Buzz Bissinger (Random House). Raves for a Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist's account of Philadelphia Mayor Ed Rendell's battle against the city's decrepitude. In the New York Times Book Review , Robert Fishman compares Bissinger's book to "such classics of urban reportage and analysis as J. Anthony Lukas's Common Ground ." Reviewers especially like its scope: Bissinger interweaves the stories of a shipyard worker and a poor black grandmother with political history. The Wall Street Journal 's Fred Siegel, among others, praises Bissinger for showing both Rendell's courage (he took on unions) and the limits of his old-school liberalism. (Random House plugs the book.) Cold Mountain , by Charles Frazier (Atlantic Monthly Press). The debate over the National Book Award-winning Civil War novel, which has sold about 1 million copies so far, escalates. Several recent reviews buck the critical consensus and deride the book, the story of a Confederate deserter, for being too self-consciously novelistic (James Gardner, National Review ). Like "a literary approximation of an already literary idea of reality," says Slate's James Wood. The Weekly Standar d's J. Bottum rebuts that Cold Mountain 's highbrow critics misunderstand its middlebrow virtues. It is "a perfectly enjoyable piece of sentimental fiction, straight from those golden days of the 1950s." (Click here for an excerpt.) The World According to Peter Drucker , by Jack Beatty (The Free Press). Critics anoint the Vienna-born management theorist Peter Drucker a great intellectual. "Alone among the guru class, he grabbed hold of business and made it do and say extraordinary things" (Michael Lewis, the New York Times Book Review ). They emphasize Drucker's philosophical influences (he studied Kierkegaard and political theory), his vast oeuvre , and his long-standing doubts about free markets. Beatty wins praise for his clear explications of Drucker's writings but is chided for "reducing what may have been scintillating intellectual biography to ... a layman's guide" (Adrian Wooldridge, the Wall Street Journal ). Movies Afterglow (Sony Pictures Classics). Critics wax effusive about Julie Christie's performance in Alan Rudolph's romantic drama. Christie's character (a former horror-movie star) and her husband (Nick Nolte), their marriage damaged by grief over their runaway daughter, pursue extramarital affairs and unwittingly swap partners with a younger yuppie couple. Christie "renders such a captivating performance that she alone justifies the price of admission," says Variety 's Leonard Klady. Most critics fault the film on other counts, particularly its languid pacing, stock characters (Nolte plays a seductive handyman), and melodramatic dialogue. It "descends into a silly season" (Janet Maslin, the New York Times ). (The studio trumpets the movie here.) Arguing the World (First Run Films). A documentary about four famed New York intellectuals (Irving Howe, Nathan Glazer, Irving Kristol, and Daniel Bell) occasions outpourings of nostalgia for the "vanished intellectual era" of their youth (David Margolick, the New York Times ). The film wins praise for charting the tumultuous friendships among these popular social critics, as well as the evolution of all but Howe from '30s radicals to '60s neoconservatives. Documentarian Joseph Dorman is credited with producing "one of the deepest portraits ever filmed of the fluidity of ideas" (Stephen Holden, the New York Times ). Ma Vie en Rose (Sony Pictures Classics). Critics applaud rookie Belgian director Alan Berliner's film, about a 7-year-old boy who yearns to be a girl, for giving "an inside report ... from the enchanted, irradiated island of childhood" (Richard Corliss, Time ). Critics appreciate its avoidance of hackneyed gender politics, and its presentation of the boy's colorful, cartoonlike fantasies. Praise goes to Georges Du Fresne, the child actor "who seems, in some prodigious way, to understand" his character (Stanley Kauffmann, the New Republic ). Dissenting, the Wall Street Journal 's Joe Morgenstern says the movie is cloying, "cheerful nonsense" and that its creators don't realize that "this kid is profoundly troubled." (Stills and clips are available here.) Updates In the New York Times , Maureen Dowd savages Woody Allen's Deconstructing Harry: "This movie is not art. It is a clinical document, an anthology of unexamined prejudices, a tiresome Manhattan whine." ... Toni Morrison's Paradise continues to divide critics. Time puts the novelist on its cover and raves, "To read the novel is ... to confront questions as old as human civilization itself." In Slate, Brent Staples finds that the novel's "absence of workaday and historical detail keeps the reader at a distance; many of Morrison's characters are impenetrable to the mind's eye." ... The New Republic 's Jed Perl bashes the newly opened J. Paul Getty Museum, designed by Richard Meier, whose architecture, says Perl, "only works in coffee-table books. ... What Meier's work lacks is heat, an organic flow." Recent "Summary Judgment" columns Jan. 7: Movie -- The Apostle ; Movie -- Oscar and Lucinda ; Movie -- The Boxer ; Television -- Seinfeld (NBC); Book -- Truman Capote: In Which Various Friends, Enemies, Acquaintances, and Detractors Recall His Turbulent Career , by George Plimpton; Book -- Paradise , by Toni Morrison; Music --"Northern Lights: The Music of Jean Sibelius." Dec. 31: Winter Movie Roundup Dec. 24: "The Year in Review in Review" Dec. 17: Movie -- Titanic ; Movie -- Deconstructing Harry ; Movie -- Scream 2 ; Television -- Ally McBeal (Fox); Art --"Gianni Versace" (Metropolitan Museum of Art); Architecture --Museum of Modern Art (New York City); Book -- Hogarth: A Life and a World , by Jenny Uglow. --Franklin Foer Movies Wag the Dog (New Line Cinema). Pundits can't resist noting the "scary prescience" (Janet Maslin, the New York Times ) of Barry Levinson's acclaimed satire about a fake war orchestrated to divert attention from a presidential sex scandal. Their spin on the eerie parallel between art and life: 1) Maybe Hollywood does understand Washington. 2) The movie may stop Clinton from attacking Iraq, since that move would seem contrived. 3) L'affaire Lewinsky is the superior drama: "Nobody writes better scripts than Washington, D.C." (Stephen Hunter, the Washington Post ). Sidebar: Hollywood reporters say Universal Studios is panicking over when to release Mike Nichols' adaptation of the Clinton satire Primary Colors , currently due out in March. (See Jacob Weisberg's dispatch in Slate .) Gingerbread Man (PolyGram). Having expected a disaster, most critics confess surprise that Robert Altman's direction redeems this thriller, which began as a hokey John Grisham story. "Hitchcock would have been intrigued, and maybe envious," says the Wall Street Journal 's Joe Morgenstern. What keeps this from being yet another Grisham movie is, apparently, Altman's idiosyncratic camera work and Kenneth Branagh's winsome performance as a slick Southern lawyer. Dissenters complain that Grisham's plot is unbecoming material for a director of Altman's caliber. "One feels great risks were not taken, which is unusual for even the worst Altman films," says the New York Observer 's Andrew Sarris. Spice World (Columbia). Movie reviewers echo the music critics' pans of the popular Spice Girls and conclude that "sometimes the Zeitgeist counts for squat" (David Kronke, the Los Angeles Times ). The group's feature film, in which they're harassed by a tabloid reporter, is trashed as a "plotless, pointless, mirthless" knock-off of the Beatles' Hard Day's Night (Richard Harrington, the Washington Post ). The pop stars do get credit for exhibiting self-deprecating humor and apparent awareness that "they have achieved ludicrous measures of fame and fortune on the strength of markedly limited talents" (Anthony Lane, The New Yorker ). (Clips are available.) Books Birthday Letters , by Ted Hughes (Farrar, Straus & Giroux). An autobiographical book of verse by the British poet laureate and former husband of iconic poet Sylvia Plath revives the cultish fascination with her suicide in 1963 at age 30. Most critics applaud Hughes for breaking his 35-year silence about his marriage and admitting his insensitivity and infidelity, which some claim drove Plath over the brink. Others, including feminist literary scholars such as Elaine Showalter, complain that Hughes doesn't sufficiently own up to the consequences of his adultery. "Hughes should have been as merciless to himself as she was with herself" (Jack Kroll, Newsweek ). Still others dismiss the poems as "clumsy stuff" (Ian Hamilton, the Sunday Telegraph ). Night Train , by Martin Amis (Harmony Books). The British bad-boy writer tries his hand at an American detective novel and draws mixed reviews. Some dismiss Amis' use of police lingo and his intricate story about a suicide investigation as bad parody. The policemen, says Luc Sante in Slate , seem to be "cut and pasted from a vague memory of Barney Miller ." The New York Times ' Michiko Kakutani and others relish Amis' verbal cleverness and defend the book as a "deliciously readable, highly polished diversion." (An excerpt is available.) Enduring Love , by Ian McEwan (Doubleday). Applause for The Cement Garden author's thriller about a science writer and an evangelical drifter who's obsessed with him. Critics like McEwan's plot twists (you're not sure if the Christian is psychotic until the end) and theoretical bent (high-minded riffs on Darwin and Keats). In Slate , Alice Truax compares McEwan with Thomas Hardy, another "great master of morality, psychology, and circumstance, but ... McEwan makes you nervous." Others find McEwan's intellectualism too snooty, making the novel feel like "a storified lecture" (Richard Eder, the Los Angeles Times ). (Click here for an excerpt.) Event Super Bowl XXXII (San Diego). An exciting game and watchable halftime show deflated the perennial gripes with Super Sunday, leaving critics only the overhyped, overpriced commercials to kvetch about. "Surely a future Super Bowl will see players selling commercial space on their butts," says the Washington Post 's Tom Shales. Reasons for outrage: exorbitant cost ($1.3 million for a 30-second spot) and banal products. The biggest disappointment was a two-part Intel ad, narrated by Steve Martin, that allowed viewers to log on to the Internet to vote for its ending, to no apparent consequence. Dance "Mikhail Baryshnikov: An Evening of Music and Dance With the White Oak Chamber Ensemble" (City Center, New York City). On the occasion of his 50 th birthday, the dancer ascends to mythic proportions with a majestic solo concert. "The profundity of an artist such as we won't see again for some time" (Sarah Kaufman, the Washington Post ). Critics forgive his use of goofy gimmicks--he improvises a dance to his own heartbeat, which is amplified by a device affixed to his chest--focusing instead on the credibility he has given modern dance, having switched from classical ballet in midcareer. Update The conventional wisdom about the musical Ragtime continues to fluctuate. This week several critics dub it the Great American Musical, including The New Yorker 's John Lahr, who pronounces it "a theatrical watershed: an awesome pyrotechnical display of theatrical craft and showmanship." Recent "Summary Judgment" columns Jan. 21: Movie -- Fallen ; Movie --Sundance Film Festival; Movie -- Live Flesh ; Musical -- Ragtime ; Book -- Pillar of Fire: America in the King Years, 1963-65 , by Taylor Branch; Book -- Shadows on the Hudson , by Isaac Bashevis Singer; Television -- South Park (Comedy Central); Art --"Arthur Dove: A Retrospective" (Whitney Museum). Jan. 14: Death --Sonny Bono; Book -- A Prayer for the City , by Buzz Bissinger; Book -- Cold Mountain , by Charles Frazier; Book -- The World According to Peter Drucker , by Jack Beatty; Movie -- Afterglow ; Movie -- Arguing the World ; Movie -- Ma Vie en Rose . Jan. 7: Movie -- The Apostle ; Movie -- Oscar and Lucinda ; Movie -- The Boxer ; Television -- Seinfeld (NBC); Book -- Truman Capote: In Which Various Friends, Enemies, Acquaintances, and Detractors Recall His Turbulent Career , by George Plimpton; Book -- Paradise , by Toni Morrison; Music --"Northern Lights: The Music of Jean Sibelius." Dec. 31: Winter Movie Roundup --Franklin Foer War and Pieces No movie in the last decade has succeeded in psyching out critics and audiences as fully as the powerful, rambling war epic The Thin Red Line , Terrence Malick's return to cinema after 20 years. I've sat through it twice and am still trying to sort out my responses, which run from awe to mockery and back. Like Saving Private Ryan , the picture wallops you in the gut with brilliant, splattery battle montages and Goyaesque images of hell on earth. But Malick, a certified intellectual and the Pynchonesque figure who directed Badlands and Days of Heaven in the 1970s and then disappeared, is in a different philosophical universe from Steven Spielberg. Post-carnage, his sundry characters philosophize about their experiences in drowsy, runic voice-overs that come at you like slow bean balls: "Why does nature vie with itself? ... Is there an avenging power in nature, not one power but two?" Or "This great evil: Where's it come from? What seed, what root did it grow from? Who's doin' this? Who's killin' us, robbin' us of life and light?" First you get walloped with viscera, then you get beaned by blather. Those existential speculations don't derive from the screenplay's source, an archetypal but otherwise down-to-earth 1962 novel by James Jones (who also wrote From Here to Eternity ) about the American invasion of the South Pacific island of Guadalcanal. They're central to Malick's vision of the story, however, and not specious. In the combat genre, the phrase "war is hell" usually means nothing more than that it's a bummer to lose a limb or two, or to see your buddy get his head blown off. A true work of art owes us more than literal horrors, and Malick obliges by making his theater of war the setting for nothing less than a meditation on the existence of God. He tells the story solemnly, in three parts, with a big-deal cast (Sean Penn, Nick Nolte, John Cusack) and a few other major stars (John Travolta, Woody Harrelson, George Clooney) dropping by for cameos. After an Edenic prelude, in which a boyishly idealistic absent without leave soldier, Pvt. Witt (Jim Caviezel), swims with native youths to the accompaniment of a heavenly children's choir, the first part sees the arrival of the Allied forces on the island, introduces the principal characters (none of whom amounts to a genuine protagonist), and lays out the movie's geographical and philosophical terrain. The centerpiece--the fighting--goes on for over an hour and features the most frantic and harrowing sequences, chiefly the company's initially unsuccessful frontal assault on a Japanese hilltop bunker. The coda lasts nearly 40 minutes and is mostly talk and cleanup, the rhythms growing more relaxed until a final, incongruous spasm of violence--whereupon the surviving soldiers pack their gear and motor off to another South Pacific battle. In the final shot, a twisted tree grows on the waterline of the beach, the cycle of life beginning anew. The Thin Red Line has a curious sound-scape, as the noise of battle frequently recedes to make room for interior monologues and Hans Zimmer's bump-bump, minimalist New Age music. Pvt. Bell (Ben Chaplin) talks to his curvy, redheaded wife, viewed in deliriously sensual flashbacks. ("Love: Where does it come from? Who lit this flame in us?") Lt. Col. Tall (Nolte), a borderline lunatic passed over one too many times for promotion and itching to win a battle no matter what the human cost, worries groggily about how his men perceive him. The dreamer Witt poses folksy questions about whether we're all a part of one big soul. If the movie has a spine, it's his off-and-on dialogue with Sgt. Welsh (Penn), who's increasingly irritated by the private's beatific, almost Billy Budd-like optimism. Says Welsh, "In this world, a man himself is nothin', and there ain't no world but this one." Replies Witt, high cheekbones glinting, "I seen another world." At first it seems as if Witt will indeed be Billy Budd to Welsh's vindictive Claggart. But if Witt is ultimately an ethereal martyr, Welsh turns out to be a Bogart-like romantic who can't stop feeling pain in the face of an absent God. He speaks the movie's epitaph, "Darkness and light, strife and love: Are they the workings of one mind, the feature of the same face? O my soul, let me be in you now. Look out through my eyes. Look out at the things you made, all things shining." Malick puts a lot of shining things on the screen: soldiers, natives, parrots, bats, rodents, visions of Eden by way of National Geographic and of the Fall by way of Alpo. Malick's conception of consciousness distributes it among the animate and inanimate alike; almost every object is held up for rapturous contemplation. I could cite hundreds of images: A soldier in a rocking boat hovers over a letter he's writing, which is crammed from top to bottom and side to side with script. (You don't know the man, but you can feel in an instant his need to cram everything in.) A small, white-bearded Melanesian man strolls nonchalantly past a platoon of tensely trudging grunts who can't believe they're encountering this instead of a hail of Japanese bullets. Two shots bring down the first pair of soldiers to advance on the hill; a second later, the sun plays mystically over the tall, yellow grass that has swallowed their bodies. John Toll's camera rushes in on a captured Japanese garrison: One Japanese soldier shrieks; another, skeletal, laughs and laughs; a third weeps over a dying comrade. The face of a Japanese soldier encased in earth speaks from the dead, "Are you righteous? Know that I was, too." Whether or not these pearllike epiphanies are strung is another matter. Malick throws out his overarching theme--is nature two-sided, at war with itself?--in the first few minutes but, for all his startling juxtapositions, he never dramatizes it with anything approaching the clarity of, say, Brian De Palma's Casualties of War (1989). Besides the dialogue between Welsh and Witt, The Thin Red Line 's other organizing story involves a wrenching tug of war between Nolte's ambition-crazed Tall and Capt. Staros (Elias Koteas), who refuses an order to send his men on what will surely be a suicidal--and futile--assault on a bunker. But matters of cause and effect don't really interest Malick. Individual acts of conscience can and do save lives, and heroism can win a war or a battle, he acknowledges. But Staros is ultimately sent packing, and Malick never bothers to trace the effect of his action on the Guadalcanal operation. In fact, the entire battle seems to take place in a crazed void. Tall quotes Homer's "rosy-fingered dawn" and orders a meaningless bombardment to "buck the men up--it'll look like the Japs are catching hell." Soldiers shoot at hazy figures, unsure whether they're Japanese or American. Men collide, blow themselves in half with their own mishandled grenades, stab themselves frantically with morphine needles, shove cigarettes up their noses to keep the stench of the dying and the dead at bay. A tiny bird, mortally wounded, flutters in the grass. Malick is convincing--at times overwhelming--on the subject of chaos. It's when he tries to ruminate on order that he gets gummed up, retreating to one of his gaseous multiple mouthpieces: "Where is it that we were together? Who is it that I lived with? Walked with? The brother. ... The friend. ... One mind." I think I'd have an easier time with Malick's metaphysical speculations if I had a sense of some concomitant geopolitical ones--central to any larger musings on forces of nature as viewed through the prism of war. Couldn't it be that the German and Japanese fascist orders were profoundly anti-natural, and that the Allies' cause was part of a violent but natural correction? You don't have to buy into Spielberg's Lincolnesque pieties in Saving Private Ryan to believe that there's a difference between World War II and Vietnam (or, for that matter, World War II and the invasion of Grenada or our spats with Iraq). While he was at Harvard, Malick might have peeled himself off the lap of his pointy-headed mentor, Stanley Cavell, the philosopher and film theorist, and checked out a few of Michael Waltzer's lectures on just and unjust wars. Maybe then he'd view Guadalcanal not in an absurdist vacuum (the soldiers come, they kill and are killed, they leave) but in the larger context of a war that was among the most rational (in its aims, if not its methods) fought in the last several centuries. For all his visionary filmmaking, Malick's Zen neutrality sometimes seems like a cultivated--and pretentious--brand of fatuousness. John Travolta's empty nightclub impersonation of Bill Clinton in Primary Colors (1998) had one positive result: It gave him a jump-start on Jan Schlichtmann, the reckless personal injury lawyer at the center of A Civil Action . Travolta's Schlichtmann is much more redolent of Clinton: slick and selfish and corrupt in lots of ways but basically on the side of the angels, too proud and arrogant to change tactics when all is certainly lost. Schlichtmann pursued--and more or less blew--a civil liability case against the corporate giants Beatrice and W.R. Grace over the allegedly carcinogenic water supply of Woburn, Mass. Boston writer Jonathan Harr, in the book the movie is based on, went beyond the poison in the Woburn wells to evoke (stopping just short of libel) the poison of the civil courts, where platoons of overpaid corporate lawyers can drive opponents with pockets less deep and psyches less stable into bankruptcy and hysteria. Director Steven Zaillian's version doesn't capture the mounting rage that one experiences while reading Harr's book, or even the juicy legal machinations that Francis Ford Coppola giddily manipulated in his underrated adaptation of John Grisham's The Rainmaker (1997). But A Civil Action is a sturdy piece of work, an old-fashioned conversion narrative with some high-tech zip. Schlichtmann doesn't take this "orphan" case--brought by the parents of several children who died of leukemia--because he wants to do good but because he figures that Grace and Beatrice will fork over huge sums of money to keep the parents from testifying publicly about their children's last days. He might succeed, too, if it weren't for Jerome Facher (Robert Duvall), the Beatrice lawyer who knows how to keep Schlichtmann shadowboxing while his small firm's financial resources dwindle to nothing. Zaillian is at his most assured when he cuts back and forth between Facher's Harvard Law School lectures on what not to do in court and Schlichtmann's fumbling prosecution. The sequence has the extra dimension of good journalism: It dramatizes and comments simultaneously. Plus, it gives Duvall a splendid platform for impish understatement. (Duvall has become more fun to watch than just about anyone in movies.) Elsewhere, Zaillian takes a more surface approach, sticking to legal minutiae and rarely digging for the deeper evil. As in his Searching for Bobby Fischer (1993), the outcome of every scene is predictable, but how Zaillian gets from beat to beat is surprisingly fresh. He also gets sterling bit performances from Sydney Pollack as the spookily sanguine Grace CEO, William H. Macy as Schlichtmann's rabbity accountant, and Kathleen Quinlan as the mother of one of the victims. Quinlan knows that when you're playing a woman who has lost a child you don't need to emote--you reveal the emotion by trying not to emote. To the families involved in the Woburn tragedy, the real climax of this story isn't the downbeat ending of the book or the sleight of hand, "let's call the Environmental Protection Agency," upbeat ending of the movie. The climax is the publication of a book that takes the plaintiffs' side and that remains on the best-seller list in hardcover and paperback for years. The climax is the movie starring John Travolta. Beatrice and Grace made out OK legally, but some of us will never use their products again without thinking about Travolta losing his shirt in the name of those wasted-away little kids. Movies The Man in the Iron Mask (MGM-UA Films). This adaptation of Alexandre Dumas' 1846 swashbuckler "transforms its august stars [Leonardo DiCaprio, Jeremy Irons, Gabriel Byrne, Grard Depardieu, and John Malkovich] into something akin to a manic dinner-theater troupe" ( Slate 's David Edelstein). The biggest problem: corny dialogue that attempts to replicate 17 th century vernacular. But teen idol DiCaprio, who plays both an evil king and his good twin, emerges relatively unscathed. He is better "than more conventional macho stars," despite "look[ing] barely old enough to be playing anyone with hormones" (Owen Gleiberman, Entertainment Weekly ). His sex appeal--also salivated over in two best-selling biographies--is expected to garner huge box-office returns. (Click here for the official site.) Love and Death on Long Island (Cinepix Film Properties). Critics are surprised to find themselves raving over a film featuring Beverly Hills 90210 heartthrob Jason Priestley. (He plays a B-movie star with whom a fusty English novelist is obsessed.) Plaudits go to rookie British director Richard Kwietniowski for deploying "exactly calibrated bursts of dry wit" (Kenneth Turan, the Los Angeles Times ). But the highest praise goes to character actor John Hurt's wry depiction of the writer. Critics deem Hurt a much underrated talent and say his performance evokes the protagonist of Thomas Mann's 1912 Death in Venice . "A creep, but a true hero" (David Denby, New York ). (Edelstein reviews the film in Slate .) Men With Guns (Sony Pictures Classics). Respectful criticism greets Lone Star director John Sayles' film about the massacre of villagers in Central America. As always, critics applaud Sayles' heartfelt liberalism and choice of offbeat subjects, which make him the "most restlessly independent independent filmmaker" (Lisa Schwarzbaum, Entertainment Weekly ). But most critics say he "doesn't have a filmmaker's instinct" (Amy Taubin, the Village Voice ). Except in Lone Star , they say, Sayles' dialogue is stilted and his cinematography drab. (Stills and clips are available here.) Television Lateline (NBC; Tuesdays, 9:30 p.m. ET/PT). Mixed reviews for this sitcom satire of a TV newsroom, which stars Saturday Night Live alum Al Franken. Some deem it the "funniest new series of the 1997-98 season" ( People ). They like its topical humor and cameos by such politicos as Richard Gephardt and Robert Reich. Others say its humor is tame compared with the reality of l'affaire Lewinsky . "While news is getting more entertaining, entertainment is becoming more toothless than ever" (Caryn James, the New York Times ). (NBC plugs the show here.) Significant Others (Fox; Wednesdays, 9 p.m. ET/PT). Fox continues its campaign to corner the Gen X market, with yet another one-hour drama about twentysomethings. Created by the makers of the popular Party of Five , Significant Others details the travails of a soft-core porn writer and his two best friends. Some praise the show for its self-parodic dialogue and realistic characters who are "as annoying and self-absorbed--as people of your own acquaintance" (Barbara Phillips, the Wall Street Journal ). Others say they have no interest in watching "spineless, whiny, indecisive nitwits" (Tom Shales, the Washington Post ). Pop Pilgrim , by Eric Clapton (Reprise). The '70s megastar's first album of new songs in nine years is deemed melancholic and sluggish, "like it has been injected with a tranquilizer" (David Browne, Entertainment Weekly ). Critics lament that his guitar playing includes none of his signature virtuoso licks. And they chalk up his morose lyrics to his 4-year-old son's 1991 death. Dissenting, Rolling Stone 's David Wild forgives the album's faults: It "captures the sound of a man trying to tame hell-hounds from within." Books Spin Cycle: Inside the Clinton Propaganda Machine , by Howard Kurtz (The Free Press). The Washington Post 's media critic milks the Monica moment, rushing his insider account of White House spinmeisters to press months ahead of schedule. Critics revel in his fresh dish (Clinton turns apoplectic over the slightest unfavorable mention; Hillary hates Press Secretary Mike McCurry; McCurry pits reporters against one another). "The best book in many years on Washington media," says the Weekly Standard 's Andrew Ferguson. Dissenting in the Wall Street Journal , Russ Smith says the current hubbub upstages Kurtz's best material, rendering it moldy and boring. His book "will only be read by C-SPAN junkies." ( Slate 's Jacob Weisberg explains why the media want Clinton to fall.) The Children , by David Halberstam (Random House). The Pulitzer Prize-winning crack journalist revisits one of his first assignments--the early '60s Nashville civil rights movement. (He traces the lives of eight student leaders, including Washington, D.C., Mayor Marion Barry and Georgia Rep. John Lewis.) His depiction of harrowing sit-ins "captures the courage and nobility of those small-scale protests that would transform America" (Tamar Jacoby, the Wall Street Journal ). Others say the 783-page book could have stood a heavy edit. Update More Primary Colors buzz: Newsweek 's David Ansen calls it "the most vital Hollywood movie of the new year." The New Yorker 's Hendrik Hertzberg calls it "the smartest movie ever made about American politics." Recent "Summary Judgment" columns March 11: Movie -- The Big Lebowski ; Movie -- Primary Colors hype; Movie -- Twilight ; Movie -- U.S. Marshals ; Theater -- The Beauty Queen of Leenane ; Book -- One Nation, After All , by Alan Wolfe; Book -- A History of the American People , by Paul Johnson. March 4: Movie -- An Alan Smithee Film: Burn Hollywood Burn ; Movie -- Krippendorf's Tribe ; Movie -- Lolita ; Music -- Ray of Light , by Madonna; Book -- The Smithsonian Institution , by Gore Vidal; Theater -- Art ; Art --"Chuck Close" (Museum of Modern Art). Feb. 25: Television -- The American Experience: Reagan (PBS); Television -- The Wedding (ABC); Television -- The Closer (CBS); Movie -- Palmetto ; Book -- Cloudsplitter , by Russell Banks; Art --"Fernand Lger" (Museum of Modern Art); Theater -- Freak . Feb. 18: Movie -- Sphere ; Movie -- Mrs. Dalloway ; Movie -- The Wedding Singer ; Book -- The Street Lawyer , by John Grisham; Book -- Riven Rock , by T. Coraghessan Boyle; Television --18 th Winter Olympics (CBS); Theater -- The Vagina Monologues . --Franklin Foer Movies Grease (Paramount). The 1950s nostalgia film, panned when it was released in 1978, fares better on re-release as a 1970s nostalgia film. The remastered version takes in $13 million its first weekend, just behind Titanic at the box office. Critics also come around. "As timeless as its bad-boy-meets-good-girl plot" (Susan Wloszczyna, USA Today ). Most reviewers celebrate the career of its star John Travolta, then 23: "an invaluable cultural icon ... an important and enduring movie star" (Roger Ebert, the Chicago Sun-Times ). And Entertainment Weekly 's Lisa Schwarzbaum discovers latent homosexuality in the "intense boy-boy communion" within Travolta's gang. (Click here for the official site.) The Newton Boys (20 th Century Fox). A lukewarm response to Dazed and Confused director Richard Linklater's first venture beyond Gen X. His western about the most accomplished bank robbers in American history is faulted for lacking the conventions--exciting chase scenes, gunfights, and black-hatted villains--that give the genre its enduring appeal. The characters played by young hunks Matthew McConaughey, Ethan Hawke, and Vincent D'Onofrio are said to suffer in comparison to the real-life characters, clips of whom Linklater weaves into the film. "It's the Bland Boys almost all the way" (Amy Taubin, the Village Voice ). (A trailer is available here.) Television From the Earth to the Moon (HBO; click here for schedule). Apollo 13 star Tom Hanks produces a $68 million, 12 hour docudrama about NASA, from the first Mercury launch (1961) to the last moon voyage (1972). Critics declare it a noble failure. They're taken with its enthusiasm for space exploration, which has lost its mystique since the '70s. But they also say the series is "too long, too prolix, too cable" (Ken Tucker, Entertainment Weekly ) and gets bogged down in irrelevant details. In one episode, notes Time 's James Collins, "the only source of suspense ... is a worry over the winds on the day of lift-off." (HBO plugs the show here.) Teletubbies (PBS; click here for schedule). Controversy over this British show, just reaching the United States, which bills itself as the first program for 1-year-old children. Is the show, about the picaresque adventures of futuristic toddlers, bad for babies? U.S. News & World Report cites psychologists who argue that it will addict babies to television, hindering their mental development. The magazine calls Teletubbies a marketing ploy cloaked as education. Others find camp virtues in the "sublimely ridiculous experience" of the show (Tucker) and note that in England it has a large following with gay men. Theater The Sound of Music (Martin Beck Theater, New York City). Critics find no reason for this revival of the treacly 1959 musical. "The most saccharine of the Rodgers and Hammerstein" collaborations, says New York 's John Simon. Although reviewers grant that this production benefits from some nuanced performances, they still conclude that "The Sound of Music isn't really for grown-ups" (Ben Brantley, the New York Times ). They predict audiences will continue to devour the show's sentimental story anyway. Books The All-True Travels and Adventures of Lidie Newton , by Jane Smiley (Knopf). After writing a polemical 1996 essay attacking Huckleberry Finn as immoral, Pulitzer Prize winner Smiley sets out to improve on Twain with a novel about an abolitionist woman in antebellum Kansas Territory. Critics don't like the book any more than the essay. In the New York Times Book Review Thomas Mallon faults Lidie Newton for "dutiful caricatures of white degeneracy and black nobility ... the purest P.C." Slate 's Sarah Kerr says that "for someone so bent on unmasking pieties, Smiley is not above her own kind of sanctimony." (To read the first three chapters, click here.) Consilience: The Unity of Knowledge , by E.O. Wilson (Knopf). The famed Harvard sociobiologist argues that all phenomena--art, economics, science--can be understood by studying the brain's neural pathways. Critics line up on opposing sides. Some praise his emphasis on biology as "a strong antidote to the trendy campus fatalists who hold truth to be subjective" (R.Z. Sheppard, Time ). Skeptics renew old attacks on sociobiology's all-encompassing view of human nature. "He is the Mr. Magoo of scientific theory, genially oblivious to everything he can't or won't see" (Daniel Mendelsohn, the New York Observer ). (In Slate , Steven Pinker praises the book. Click here to read the first chapter.) Fashion Fall Lines . The unveiling of fall lines in Milan, Paris, and New York City over the last three weeks--accompanied by unprecedented cable TV coverage--leads the New York Time s' Ruth La Ferla to declare runway shows "the spectator sport of the decade." This year's lines are noted for representing a backlash against feminism--"fashion's new womanliness," Time 's Ginia Bellafante calls it--with a return to pinks, pleats, and furs. Some critics fault the younger designers for not taking risks, preferring the continuing inventiveness of such veterans as Karl Lagerfeld, Valentino, and Jean-Paul Gaultier. ( Slate 's Anne Hollander explains the pleasures of the runway show.) Update In the Los Angeles Times , Oscar-winning Titanic director James Cameron savages the paper's chief movie critic, Kenneth Turan, for panning his movie on two separate occasions. "Nobody's interested in the vitriolic ravings of a bitter man who attacks and rips apart movies that the great majority of viewers find well worth their time and money." Recent "Summary Judgment" columns March 25: Event --70 th Academy Awards; Television -- Sitcom Roundup ; Movie -- Primary Colors ; Movie -- Wild Things ; Movie -- Taste of Cherry ; Theater -- Cabaret ; Opera -- Lohengrin . March 18: Movie -- The Man in the Iron Mask ; Movie -- Love and Death on Long Island ; Movie -- Men With Guns ; Television -- Lateline (NBC); Television -- Significant Others (ABC); Pop -- Pilgrim , by Eric Clapton; Book -- Spin Cycle: Inside the Clinton Propaganda Machine , by Howard Kurtz; Book -- The Children , by David Halberstam. March 11: Movie -- The Big Lebowski ; Movie -- Primary Colors hype; Movie -- Twilight ; Movie -- U.S. Marshals ; Theater -- The Beauty Queen of Leenane ; Book -- One Nation, After All , by Alan Wolfe; Book -- A History of the American People , by Paul Johnson. March 4: Movie -- An Alan Smithee Film: Burn Hollywood Burn ; Movie -- Krippendorf's Tribe ; Movie -- Lolita ; Music -- Ray of Light , by Madonna; Book -- The Smithsonian Institution , by Gore Vidal; Theater -- Art ; Art --"Chuck Close" (Museum of Modern Art). --Franklin Foer Books The Modern Library's 100 Best English-Language Novels Since 1900. Centennial list-making kicks into high gear. Critics are predictably dismissive. Gripes: 1) It's a stunt to boost sales. 2) It's the handiwork of stodgy white males. 3) It celebrates impenetrable highbrow books, such as Joyce's Ulysses , which critics admit to never having read. 4) It includes forgotten middlebrow novels from the '30s and '40s at the expense of Pynchon, Morrison, Updike, "and almost every other contemporary novelist people actually read" (Louis Menand, The New Yorker ). 5) A deluge of similarly ridiculous lists is imminent. (To see the full list, click here, and to hear the dead authors gab about the list, click here. Also "Culturebox" weighs in on the subject.) Point of Origin , by Patricia Cornwell (Putnam). The best-selling novelist's eighth murder mystery about a female medical examiner, in as many years. Critics note it contains Cornwell's trademarks: vivid descriptions of autopsies, soft-porn sex scenes, over-caffeinated one-liners, and inchoate plots. It doesn't even live up to the minimal demands of "the beach-blanket potboiler" genre, says the Chicago Sun-Times ' Henry Kisor. Noting the book's dedication to Barbara Bush, Slate 's Sarah Kerr calls Cornwell a candidate for "today's leading conservative novelist." Movies Disturbing Behavior (MGM). The latest in a wash of Scream -bred teen horror flicks is roundly panned as a "disappointing adolescent thriller starring no one you ever heard of" (Michael O'Sullivan, the Washington Post ). Despite a promising premise--high-school students are lobotomized into conformity by a guidance counselor and their parents--the film is said to be packed with clichs (faces in windows, hands on shoulders) and lacking either an ironic or a frightening touch. (See the official site.) Pi (Live Entertainment). High praise for rookie director Darren Aronofsky's $60,000 thriller about the paranoid mind of a math genius: "a personal, visionary ... art film par excellence" (Todd McCarthy, Daily Variety ). Critics like its dark humor and shadow-heavy style, deeming Aronofsky to be the "rare indie filmmaker who doesn't want to make hip romantic sitcoms" (Richard Corliss, Time ). Not all are impressed: The New York Times ' Stephen Holden calls the black-and-white hand-held camera style "awfully hard to watch." (Click here to read the diary of Pi star Sean Gullette. Here's the official Pi site.) The Thief (Stratosphere). Critics applaud this anti-Soviet political allegory wrapped in a romantic drama, which is set in '50s Russia. A thief disguised as a soldier seduces a single mother and becomes a father figure for her 6-year-old son. Kudos for the film's Gogolesque characters and Dostoyevskian nihilism; laments about the general paucity of foreign films in America. The New Yorker 's Anthony Lane complains, "There is no established etiquette for getting people to see them. 'Hey, we should try this cool one about ... the lean years of postwar Stalinism.' " Update Raves mount for Saving Private Ryan . The Washington Post 's Stephen Hunter calls it "simply the greatest war movie ever made, and one of the great American movies." A small school of dissenters also emerges: John Podhoretz writes in the Weekly Standard , "Omaha Beach was a site of tragedy and triumph, and it was triumph that gave meaning to the tragedy. [Steven] Spielberg's inability to grasp these ideas ... shows his limitations not only as an artist but as an adult." (Click here for David Edelstein's review in Slate of the film.) Recent "Summary Judgment" columns July 22: Movie -- The Mask of Zorro ; Movie -- Saving Private Ryan ; Movie -- There's Something About Mary ; Music -- Hello Nasty , by the Beastie Boys; Book -- Lucky Bastard , by Charles McCarry; Theater -- Twelfth Night ; Television -- Drudge (Fox). July 15 Tina! --The Tina Brown Years; Art --"Unknown Terrain: The Landscapes of Andrew Wyeth"; Movie -- Small Soldiers ; Movie -- Lethal Weapon 4 ; Movie -- Buffalo 66 ; Music -- Embrya , by Maxwell; Music -- Car Wheels on a Gravel Road , by Lucinda Williams. July 8: Movie -- Armaggedon ; Movie -- Henry Fool ; Death --Roy Rogers; Book -- Explaining Hitler: The Search for the Origins of His Evil , by Ron Rosenbaum; Book -- Someone Else's House: America's Unfinished Struggle for Integration , by Tamar Jacoby; Book -- Bridget Jones's Diary , by Helen Fielding; Performance Art -- The Return of the Chocolate Smeared Woman , Karen Finley. July 1: Movie -- Out of Sight ; Movie -- Smoke Signals ; Movie -- Dr. Dolittle ; Movie -- Gone With the Wind ; Art --"Bonnard"; Book -- Suits Me: The Double Life of Billy Tipton , by Dianne Wood Middlebrook; Book -- The Notebooks of Don Rigoberto , by Mario Vargas Llosa, translated by Edith Grossman. --Eliza Truitt Movies Rounders (Miramax Films). A cast of critics' darlings (Edward Norton, Matt Damon, John Malkovich) fails to win this poker movie much-hoped-for rave reviews. Individual performances are said to be inspired; the card hall settings are said to be gritty; the dialogue is said to be pleasingly peppered with poker jargon--but the film is deemed "unable to do justice to its potential" (Kenneth Turan, the Los Angeles Times ). Objections: a sluggish plot and a predictable setup. Dissenters call the film "snappy and ingratiating" ( Slate 's David Edelstein) and "completely enjoyable and, at its climactic moments, thrilling" ( New York magazine's David Denby). (Read Edelstein's review and Denby's. Or read this interview with Norton.) One True Thing (Universal Pictures). Meryl Streep and Rene Zellweger as a mother and daughter forced to reconcile in the face of grave illness earn praise in this "East Coast yuppie Terms of Endearment " (Stephen Holden, the New York Times ). The film is based on a novel by Anna Quindlen and, though small, is said to be emotionally powerful. (Watch interviews with the stars and director of this film.) Simon Birch (Buena Vista Pictures). Critics agree that this "reduction" of John Irving's A Prayer for Owen Meany is--in the unkind words of Variety 's Dennis Harvey--"syrupy hash." Large parts of the complicated plot and all Irving's dark humor have been excised, resulting in the loss of the author's blessing and the right to use the novel's name. What's left is a string of corny adventures shared by two young boys, one of whom believes he is on a special mission from God. A minority of critics praise the film, most notably Gene Siskel, who gives it four stars and calls it "one of the year's best" ( Chicago Tribune ). (Read an interview with small star Ian Michael Smith.) Touch of Evil (Universal Pictures). Based on Orson Welles' 58 page memo detailing his objections to the studio's cut of his much-tinkered-with 1958 noir classic, this re-edited version "unspools with all the complex, unnerving menace and nihilistic subtext its writer-director had in mind all along" (Lisa Schwarzbaum, Entertainment Weekly ). Critics take the occasion to rethink the movie itself: "A jammed, discordant, discomforting experience--a nightmare, in fact, but a nightmare that leaves in the wake of many complications a moral significance of disturbing perversity and brilliance" (Denby). "Welles was at the peak of his talent in Touch of Evil , but let's never forget what an abrasive, high-wire, self-destructive talent he was" (Edelstein). (Read Edelstein's review and Denby's. Find out more about the alternate versions of this film.) Book Anne Frank , by Melissa Mller (Metropolitan Books). In researching this biography, Mller came across five additional pages of Anne Frank's original diary that had been removed by her father before publication, largely because they reveal unhappy details of his marriage. These pages overshadow the contents of the biography in news coverage of the book, but those who do comment call it "superb" (Laura Shapiro, Newsweek ). (This page of Anne Frank-related links includes one to Catherine Bernard's essay "Anne Frank: the Cultivation of the Inspirational Victim.") Music Mechanical Animals, by Marilyn Manson (Nothing/Interscope). Heretofore dismissed as "a freak show accompanied by a soundtrack" (Lorraine Ali, the Los Angeles Times ), Manson comes out with an album that is "wickedly engaging" (N'Gai Croal, Newsweek ). The music is said to be rich and intense, full of pomp and '70s style high-glam la Ziggy Stardust. The lyrics are the usual--drugs, grim humor, self-hatred, sci-fi sex--but Manson is "no longer instantly dismissible as scam artist or sight gag" (Jim Farber, Daily News ). (Check out audio and video clips from the album.) Teatro , by Willie Nelson (Island). Nelson's 214 th album. All his trademark "stark, heart-tugging" lyrics (Dennis Hunt, USA Today ), plus more musical frills than expected. Producer Daniel Lanois (Bob Dylan's Time Out of Mind ) is given credit for pushing Nelson's sound in unfamiliar directions. Some critics call it his "best album in years" (Tony Scherman, Entertainment Weekly ). Others are bemused by Lanois' addition of xylophones, organ, Caribbean rhythm, and atmospheric hoopla. The New York Times ' Ben Ratliff marks the appearance of what he calls Nelson's "first trip-hop" song. (Listen to clips from this album.) Recent "Summary Judgment" columns Sept. 10: Movie -- Without Limits ; Movie -- Knock Off ; Movie -- Next Stop Wonderland ; Death --Akira Kurosawa; Book-- The Professor and the Madman , by Simon Winchester; Book -- At Home in the World , by Joyce Maynard. Sept. 2: Movie -- Blade ; Movie-- Why Do Fools Fall in Love ; Movie -- 54 ; Book -- The Farming of Bones , by Edwidge Danticat; Music-- The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill , by Lauryn Hill. Aug. 26: Movie-- Dance With Me ; Movie -- Your Friends & Neighbors ; Movie -- Unmade Beds ; Television -- The Rat Pack (HBO); Book -- The First Eagle , by Tony Hillerman; Book -- Summer of Deliverance: A Memoir of Father and Son , by Christopher Dickey; Book -- Kaaterskill Falls , by Allegra Goodman. Aug. 19: Movie-- The Avengers ; Movie-- Return to Paradise ; Movie-- The Slums of Beverly Hills ; Music-- Whitechocolatespaceegg , by Liz Phair; Book-- The Father of Spin: Edward L. Bernays and the Birth of Public Relations , by Larry Tye; Book-- Philistines at the Hedgerow: Passion and Property in the Hamptons , by Steven S. Gaines. --Eliza Truitt Newt Gingrich was re-elected House speaker by a vote of 216-205. After days of arm-twisting by GOP leaders, only nine Republicans chose not to support Gingrich. The media played up the size of the dissenting faction anyway. Pundits agreed that the GOP won the battle and lost the war: Gingrich's ethics case will drag on through congressional hearings; the GOP will then force the House Ethics Committee to close the case, enabling Democrats to cry "cover-up" for months afterward; members will have to vote again on his punishment; he'll be distracted, tarnished, and weakened; having lost prestige and twisted arms just to get re-elected, he'll have no clout left to keep his troops in line; the Republican policy agenda will languish; Gingrich will be forced to make concessions to Clinton in order to pass legislation and repair his own image; and, above all, Democrats will sing from Gingrich's rap sheet throughout the coming hearings on Clinton's ethical troubles. White House aides reportedly were delighted by the outcome. Commentators chuckled that the GOP was replaying its '96 Dole catastrophe, clinging fast to a sinking ship. (posted 1/9) A furor has erupted over foreign diplomats' immunity from prosecution for crimes committed in the United States. Georgia 's second-ranking diplomat in Washington, D.C., reportedly caused a series of car collisions that killed a 16-year-old girl; police allege he was drunk and speeding, and that he ran a stop sign. In New York, Russian and Belarussian diplomats reportedly resisted police who were trying to ticket their car because it was parked at a fire hydrant; police said the diplomats appeared to be drunk. New York Mayor Rudolph Giuliani demanded their expulsion and denounced the Russians as scofflaws, noting that their U.N. mission had accumulated 14,437 parking and traffic citations in the first half of 1996. Russian and Belarussian authorities ignored him and blamed the police. Under the international policy of diplomatic immunity, the diplomats cannot be prosecuted in America unless their governments waive immunity, which is highly unlikely. Pundits rushed to join the outcry to modify this policy to allow the scoundrels to be brought to justice. Acknowledgments of similar exploitation of immunity by American diplomats abroad were buried near the bottom of most stories. (posted 1/9) The Advisory Council on Social Security released its prescriptions for the trust fund's solvency problems. Members agreed to hike payroll taxes, raise the retirement age, and invest some money in stocks, but failed to agree on how far to privatize the system . One faction favors letting individuals manage their own investment accounts; another favors leaving the stock-picking to the government; a third would set up individual accounts but would fund them separately through a payroll tax hike. Conservatives hailed the rough consensus on stock investment as a "paradigm shift," while critics warned of leeching by Wall Street brokers and asked whether the government will bail out retirees who lose their savings because of market volatility. Union leaders vowed to kill any privatization scheme; politicians signaled they're not ready for full privatization but are willing to experiment with stocks as long as the government picks the stocks. Since the commission failed to reach a consensus that would give politicians cover, politicians are calling for another commission. (posted 1/9) The Los Angeles Dodgers are for sale. Analysts predicted that with its prestigious history and associated properties, the team might fetch at least $350 million, twice the previous record for a baseball franchise. Sports historians noted that the O'Malley family , which owns the team, launched one revolution in sports commercialization 40 years ago--when they uprooted the team from Brooklyn to make more money in Los Angeles. Now they are completing another, as they become the last of the old-time family owners to sell out to corporations or baseball-ignorant moguls. "The time is approaching when a family cannot support a major-league baseball team. It is the time of corporate ownership," said owner Peter O'Malley. Among the leading potential buyers: Rupert Murdoch's Fox Television , or a consortium headed by O.J. lawyer Robert Shapiro , former baseball commissioner Peter Ueberroth , or various Hollywood executives. The New York Times ' Dave Anderson recalled the O'Malleys' betrayal of Brooklyn and scoffed that they were proving once again that baseball is "a business, not a game." New York Gov. George Pataki urged New York business leaders to bid for the team, but the early line is that this would be a long shot. (posted 1/9) Eight letter bombs disguised as Christmas cards and postmarked from Alexandria, Egypt, were mailed to the Washington, D.C., bureau of an Arab newspaper ( Al Hayat ) and to Leavenworth prison. All were discovered without injury. Although the Egyptian government swears they couldn't have originated there, U.S. investigators think they did and are warning everyone to beware of unexpected parcels from the Middle East. Analysts suspect the culprit may be somebody offended by Al Hayat 's eclectic articles and editorials--which is to say, just about anyone. Early speculation focused on supporters of Mohammad Salameh, a Leavenworth inmate involved in the World Trade Center bombing. The National Press Building, which houses Al Hayat , was evacuated; the media responded with outrage at this heinous act against the media. Middle Eastern analysts and Al Hayat 's editor wondered why terrorists would target a paper that has been so hospitable to the views of terrorists. The Washington Post weighed in with articles on how easy it is to construct letter bombs and ship them undetected through the U.S. mail. (posted 1/7) Celebrity rites of passage: Dick Morris' wife announced she is divorcing him. Real-estate mogul Harry Helmsley died, raising speculation that his wife, Leona Helmsley, will lose control of his financial empire. Czech President Vclav Havel married a movie and stage actress. NBC reporter Andrea Mitchell agreed to marry Fed Chairman Alan Greenspan . Col. Sanders' 94-year-old widow died, 17 years after the colonel kicked the bucket. The British government announced that Paul McCartney will be knighted. Prince Charles has reportedly installed his lover, Camilla Parker Bowles, as mistress of his country manor. George Stephanopoulos is said to be considering a role as campaign adviser to the British Labor Party. Ivana Trump , upset with her "abysmally constructed" yacht, is suing its Italian manufacturer for $35 million for emotional distress. Ben & Jerry's has raised socially conscious eyebrows by hiring its new CEO away from the U.S. Repeating Arms Co., which manufactures rifles. Ben & Jerry's Chairman Ben Cohen points out that at least the new CEO agrees with the company's stand against handguns. (posted 1/7) The two-year-old Carolina Panthers and Jacksonville Jaguars are within one victory apiece of meeting in the Super Bowl. Having already pushed aside the once-feared San Francisco 49ers and Buffalo Bills, the two expansion teams ousted the Dallas Cowboys and Denver Broncos in the weekend playoffs. Sports columnists declared the old guard dead, lamenting the Broncos' traditional season-ending choke and celebrating the demise of the Cowboys, widely attributed to their dissolute lifestyle. Michael Irvin and Deion Sanders were carted off the field with season-ending injuries. Cowboy-haters insinuated that they deserved it. "The Wicked Witch is dead, baby," gloated Michael Wilbon of the Washington Post . Established teams are now complaining that the expansion teams' success proves they were given too many picks in the college and expansion drafts. Sportswriters reply that these teams have had plenty of similar chances, have blown them, and may be booted from their jobs now that the Panthers and Jaguars have proven that it doesn't take years to build a winner. (posted 1/7) Nature continued to punish the Pacific Northwest. After two massive snowstorms, heavy rain and melting snow have caused floods, mudslides, sinkholes , and at least 11 deaths. While local newspaper coverage has generally been self-pitying, the comfortably faraway New York Times responded with Schadenfreude , likening the Northwest's woes to biblical plagues ("We finally got our natural disaster, as if it were coming to us," conceded a Seattle coffee server) and reporting that "some Northwesterners" confess to a "sheltered, even slightly wimpy quality in their approach to the extremes of nature." (posted 1/4) The Democratic campaign-finance scandal expanded while tightening around President Clinton. Among the latest revelations: Democratic fund-raiser Charles Trie got Clinton to meet with a rogue Chinese arms merchant at the White House. A Thai businesswoman and several associates with investment interests in China met with Clinton at the White House to discuss China policy, a day before she forked over an illegal $85,000 check to the Democratic Party. A White House aide, Doris Matsui, was included (illegally, if true) in an Asian-American political fund-raising committee headed by John Huang. The new disclosures emboldened major newspapers to sharpen their portrayal of Clinton as a central participant in the sale of presidential access to foreign contributors. Pundits agreed there is still no evidence of a policy quid pro quo, but the Los Angeles Times pointedly compared Clinton's pre-election withholding of information on the scandal to the Watergate cover-up that led to President Nixon's resignation. William Safire suggested that the whole affair might actually be a Communist Chinese espionage plot. (posted 1/4) An Israeli soldier with a record of mental illness fired into an Arab marketplace in Hebron without provocation, wounding seven civilians. The soldier was wrestled down by a fellow officer and later explained that he wanted to thwart Israel's troop withdrawal from Hebron. The attack did not provoke riots and further bloodshed, in part because the soldier was a lousy shot and failed to kill anyone, and in part because Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu expeditiously phoned Palestinian leader Yasser Arafat to condemn the shooting. The short-term question was how such a nut got drafted into the Israeli army; the long-term question was whether the attack would convince Israelis that their own right-wing settlers are a greater threat to peace and security than the Palestinians are. (posted 1/4) Straws in the wind: To the mystification of beach-goers, the U.S. government is proposing regulations to protect sharks from depletion by fishermen. The Wall Street Journal says marshmallows are the new rage in fancy restaurants. Year-end figures show the murder rate continued falling in 1996; among the factors cited are gun-control laws, more criminals locked away in prison, and more cops on the beat. The New York Times reports that debutante balls are coming back. A study finds promise in a new therapy for impotence: a drug pellet that is inserted into the man's urethra. (Fewer than one in 40 men in the study backed out due to the pain.) An official of the American Names Society says parents have stopped naming their daughters "Hillary " since 1992. Sales of tobacco pipes are booming; the pipe industry hopes to capitalize on--and supplant--cigar chic, but the Wall Street Journal says skeptics still consider pipes "tweedy and prissy." (posted 1/4) House Speaker Newt Gingrich announced that he will pay his $300,000 ethics "assessment" (i.e., fine) out of his own money. The catch: He will borrow that money from Bob Dole. The terms: 10 percent annual interest, no payments required until 2005. Pundits figured that if Gingrich had paid the fine out of his campaign kitty or a legal defense fund, he would have been forced from office. Instead, the loan allows him to serve out the maximum eight years as speaker, at which point he can repay the loan out of his campaign kitty or a legal defense fund. The short-term betting says Gingrich has quelled the Republican mutiny against him and bought himself time to regain his stature as a policy leader. Liberal politicians and editorialists, having warned Gingrich that he would be evading justice and creating a conflict of interest if he failed to pay the fine with his own money, accused him of evading justice and creating a conflict of interest when he agreed to pay the fine with his own money. (4/18) Israeli police recommended indictments against Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu , his justice minister, and his chief of staff. The charges concern an alleged deal to appoint an attorney general who would go soft on a Netanyahu ally (the nominee subsequently quit). Pundits quickly concluded that Netanyahu was in grave trouble, then backed off after learning that the proposed indictment against him rested largely on the testimony of one witness. The growing scandal is expected to hinder the peace process by preoccupying Netanyahu, weakening his hold over Israel's extreme right, and discouraging the Labor Party from forming a coalition government with him. (4/18) German prosecutors indicted CompuServe's top German executive on charges of distributing pornography . This is regarded as an ominous precedent: the first prosecution of an Internet service in the West for providing access to material it did not produce. (The porn is produced by independent sites and distributed through Internet newsgroups.) Under German law, the executive could get five years in jail, though this is considered unlikely. He has previously threatened to circumvent prosecution by playing the Internet's trump card: moving CompuServe's German offices to France. (4/18) Philip Morris and RJR Nabisco are discussing a possible $300 billion settlement of all cigarette liability suits against them. They would accept FDA supervision and advertising restrictions in exchange for an act of Congress that would require plaintiffs to seek compensation from a general tobacco-industry fund rather than from the companies. The media initially gloated over the news, on the grounds that the tobacco companies were offering unprecedented concessions. But within a day, pundits and politicians turned skeptical, complaining that 1) even $300 billion wouldn't hurt the companies enough; 2) they would simply pass the cost along to their addicted customers; and 3) awarding them immunity from liability would be immoral, unconstitutional, and profitable, as evidenced by a rise in tobacco-company stock on news of the talks. (4/18) The Supreme Court struck down a Georgia law requiring drug tests for political candidates . The court ruled 8-to-1 that the urine tests were an unreasonable search under the Fourth Amendment because: 1) there's no evidence of a drug problem among Georgia politicians and 2) the law was designed to be symbolic rather than effective (e.g., it allows candidates to pick the day they will be tested). The Fourth Amendment spin is that the court, having upheld a series of drug-testing laws (for railroad crews, customs-service workers, and student athletes), finally encountered one too preposterous to tolerate. The ideological spin is that the principled left and principled right (including Justices Thomas and Scalia) defeated the unprincipled center (Chief Justice Rehnquist). (4/16) Republicans are turning up the heat on Attorney General Janet Reno for failing to appoint an independent counsel to investigate the Democratic fund-raising scandal. House Speaker Newt Gingrich compared Reno to Nixon henchman John Mitchell, and threatened to summon her before Congress and investigate whether she was involved. Senate Minority Leader Tom Daschle, D-S.D., replied that Gingrich, "the guru of ethics," had neither the right nor the credibility to intimidate the attorney general. The press contrasted Gingrich's invective with the more careful and substantive criticisms leveled at Reno by Senate Judiciary Chairman Orrin Hatch. The New York Times and Los Angeles Times joined in the criticism of Reno, while the Washington Post and the Chicago Tribune came to her defense. (4/16) The Dow Jones industrial average bounced back strongly after falling nearly 10 percent below its March peak Friday. The drop had wiped out this year's gains and persuaded some market watchers to declare the slide a correction. Healthy corporate earnings reports and near-zero inflation in the consumer sector turned stock speculators exuberant. Irrationally so? asked the Wall Street Journal . Probably not, said most analysts, while agreeing that the market was likely to keep lurching in response to changes in economic indicators. (4/16) Major League Baseball retired Jackie Robinson 's number. To commemorate Robinson's shattering of the color barrier in sports 50 years ago, no player will ever again be assigned the number 42. President Clinton and Baseball Commissioner Bud Selig joined Robinson's widow at a ceremony honoring Robinson during a Mets-Dodgers game at Shea Stadium. Sports writers boasted that baseball was once again crystallizing the story of American progress. Killjoys pointed out that blacks own none of the league's teams, that the stadium failed to sell out, that the crowd was overwhelmingly white (as is usual at baseball games), and that nearly everyone left the game after the 5 th inning ceremony. The New York Times ' George Vecsey suggested that latter-day black sports heroes such as Tiger Woods and Michael Jordan have insulted Robinson's legacy of sacrifice by devoting themselves to self-promotion and corporate marketing. (4/16) China defeated a U.N. resolution criticizing its human-rights abuses. Under threats from Beijing, several nations abstained. Germany and France refused to co-sponsor the resolution (human-rights groups blamed France's eagerness to conclude an airplane deal with China). Nevertheless, U.S. Secretary of State Madeleine Albright said she would attend the ceremonies in Hong Kong when the British colony reverts to Chinese control--to show her support for continued democracy in Hong Kong. (4/16) An Illinois insurance company is selling life insurance to people with HIV . This is the first such insurance offer since the onset of AIDS, and is viewed as tentative commercial confirmation that AIDS is now, in the company's words, "a treatable chronic illness rather than a terminal disease" for many people. The Wall Street Journal hailed it as proof of the success of new drugs. If the company makes money on the policy, other insurers are expected to follow. (4/16) Iran is being fingered in two cases of terrorism. 1) The Washington Post reported that a top Iranian official has been linked to the group suspected in last year's bombing of a U.S. military base in Saudi Arabia. Newt Gingrich said that if the evidence holds up, the United States should consider a military strike against Iran. 2) A German court implicated Iranian leaders in four recent assassinations in Berlin. More than 100,000 Iranians marched on Germany's embassy in Tehran to protest the ruling. Students trying to storm the embassy were thwarted by Iranian troops. The betting is that neither side will let the crisis escalate, because their trade relationship is too cozy. (4/14) Tiger Woods won the Masters golf tournament and was anointed a Transcendent Sports Phenomenon. Woods became the first black or Asian-American to win a major golf tournament, and broke the course records for best score (18 under par), biggest margin of victory (12 strokes), and youngest victor (he is 21). Pundits declared it a triumph of youth and racial progress, comparing Woods to Jackie Robinson (whose 50 th anniversary of breaking the color barrier is being celebrated simultaneously), Arthur Ashe, and Lee Elder (who became the first black golfer to play in the Masters in 1975, the same year Woods was born). The game's current stars declared Woods the best player in the world and possibly in history. Optimists predicted that Woods will make golf hip and popular, especially among nonwhite kids. Pessimists grumbled that Woods is so superior he'll make tournaments boring, and that his corporate marketing machine (whose hour-long biography of him was aired by CBS during the tournament) is tarnishing his divinity. (4/14) Movies Varsity Blues (Paramount Pictures). Critics say this film is pretty fun for a formula sports flick: "brisk and wholehearted and smarter than you expect" (Owen Gleiberman, Entertainment Weekly ). Dawson's Creek star James Van Der Beek plays a second-string quarterback thrust into the spotlight of a football-obsessed Texas town when the star is injured. The benefits that come with the new position (free beer, cheerleaders slathered in whipped cream) get lots of screen-time, and at points the film is almost "a poor man's Porky's " (Andy Seiler, USA Today ). John Anderson pans it in the Los Angeles Times ("a trashy little movie about drinking, football and drinking"), saying it "pretends to moralize about the very behavior it milks for every giggle it can get." (Get all the Van Der Beek-cake you can handle on this fan site.) At First Sight (MGM). Critics are down on this based-on-a-true-Oliver-Sacks-story of a man (Val Kilmer) who regains his sight after an operation encouraged by his sighted girlfriend (Mira Sorvino). Rod Dreher of the New York Post is scathing, dismissing it as "ooey-gooey schmoopie slop" and "ersatz romantic tapioca" and comparing the personality of Kilmer's character to that of Snuggles the fabric-softener bear. Not everyone's this harsh, but the film has only one true supporter, the Los Angeles Times ' Kevin Thomas, who deems it "an exceptionally touching and provocative love story." (This fan site has lots of stills.) In Dreams (DreamWorks). Most agree that this "dismayingly schlocky and literal-minded thriller" (Gleiberman, Entertainment Weekly ) is leavened only by a fine performance by Annette Bening as a woman plagued by the dreams of a serial killer. Director Neil Jordan ( The Butcher Boy ) gives viewers plenty to look at--creepy underwater sets, lush dream sequences--but the film comes up short anyway. As Roger Ebert says, "[T]his is a well-made bad movie" ( Chicago Sun-Times ). (For a review by Slate 's David Edelstein, click . Find out more about Neil Jordan in this profile in Time .) Books Duane's Depressed , by Larry McMurtry (Simon & Schuster). Good, not great, reviews for the final novel in the trilogy that began with The Last Picture Show and continued with Texasville . Critics say that although this is not on a par with McMurtry's finest work, "every page is as welcome as a letter from home" (Kyle Smith, People ). Others think the extended musing on the depression of 62-year-old oilman Duane Moore focuses so much on his malaise as to become boring, but most agree with Malcolm Jones of Newsweek : "both heartbreaking and hilarious, sometimes on the same page." (Read more about McMurtry in this Newsweek article.) The Intuitionist , by Colson Whitehead (Anchor Books). Critics describe this detective novel, the author's first, as "part Thomas Pynchon, part Ralph Ellison" (Dan Cryer, New York Newsday ) and praise Whitehead as a refreshingly original voice. The story follows Lila Mae Watson, the first black elevator inspector in a New York-like metropolis in the 1940s. Watson is an "intuitionist," one of a minority of inspectors who judges elevators by intuition, as opposed to the empiricists, who inspect in the traditional fashion. The twisting plot explores race relations, with elevators serving as metaphors for social mobility and transcendence. Mark Rozzo of the Los Angeles Times is not as impressed as most, saying the book "diverts more than it excites." (Listen to the author reading a passage from the book here, and read an excerpt here.) Theater Fosse: A Celebration in Song and Dance (Broadhurst Theatre, New York City). Reviewers are split on this retrospective of the work of Broadway choreographer Bob Fosse. Some call it a testament to Fosse's genius, with fulsome, blurb-ready praise: "The old razzle-dazzler has done it again--posthumously ... an inevitable hit, a galvanizing eruption of energy, panache and arrogantly surefooted stagecraft" (Terry Teachout, Time ). Others, contrarily, find evidence of Fosse's limits: The New York Times ' Ben Brantley writes, "Numbers that, in the context of their original shows, sparkled with wit and vitality often register as repetitive examples of virtuosic proficiency." Some are more critical, calling the dances "dated" (Amy Gamerman, the Wall Street Journal ). (An "under construction" Fosse site lets fans discuss the master. You can buy tickets at the show's official site.) Recent "Summary Judgment" columns Movie-- Affliction ; Movie --Hilary and Jackie ; Movie --The Hi-Lo Country ; Book-- The Haunted Wood: Soviet Espionage in America--The Stalin Era , by Allen Weinstein and Alexander Vassiliev; Book --Note Found in a Bottle: My Life as a Drinker , by Susan Cheever; Book --Glamorama , by Bret Easton Ellis. Movie-- A Civil Action ; Movie -- The Thin Red Line ; Movie -- Down in the Delta ; Movie -- Hurlyburly ; Movie -- Theory of Flight ; Book-- Careless Love: The Unmaking of Elvis Presley , by Peter Guralnick; Book -- The Jew of New York , by Ben Katchor. Movie-- Patch Adams ; Movie --The Faculty ; Movie --Stepmom ; Movie --Mighty Joe Young ; Book-- Hundred Dollar Holiday , by Bill McKibben; Book --The Vintner's Luck , by Elizabeth Knox. Movie-- The Prince of Egypt ; Movie-- You've Got Mail ; Movie-- The General ; Book-- Blind Man's Bluff: The Untold Story of American Submarine Espionage , by Sherry Sontag and Christopher Drew, with Annette Lawrence Drew; Book-- Opened Ground: Selected Poems, 1966-1996 , by Seamus Heaney; Book -- The Unknown Matisse: A Life of Henri Matisse, The Early Years, 1869-1908 , by Hilary Spurling. The Supreme Court ruled 9-0 that Paula Jones can sue President Clinton while he's still in office, as the Constitution doesn't protect the president from civil suits unrelated to his official duties. However, the court instructed the trial judge to take Clinton's official duties into account, which may allow him to keep postponing the trial. Editorialists of all persuasions congratulated the court for reaffirming that no one is above the law--"the message is right," said the Washington Post . Legal analysts were amused that the court's conservative justices had suspended their usual worship of executive privilege. Everyone agrees the decision puts a rude end to Clinton's second honeymoon, though most accounts cited the coverage rather than the facts of Jones' contentions as the main problem. The case "plays into a public perception of a White House under siege," said the New York Times . Early political wisdom is that here, as with his other scandals, Clinton should cut his losses (by settling the suit), but his advisers seem intent on dragging it out instead. Contrarians argued that Clinton actually won the decision, since it comes six months after his re-election. (5/28) The Lost World , Steven Spielberg's sequel to Jurassic Park , shattered box-office records by grossing $92 million over Memorial Day weekend. Analysts estimate it could end up grossing $1 billion, including merchandise. They also agree that its poor reviews (for a weak plot, characters, and dialogue) were overpowered by its shrewd timing (theaters showed it because no other big movies were out), legendary pedigree (everyone loved Jurassic Park ), and sure-fire premise (dinosaurs, which kids can't seem to get enough of). The New York Times called it "review-proof." (5/28) AT&T and SBC Communications are discussing a merger. Valued at $50 billion, the deal would double the size of the biggest merger on record. It would also reunite one-third of the old AT&T, since SBC already comprises two of the Baby Bells the government pried away from Ma Bell in 1984. Critics' complaints: 1) This is what antitrust regulators get for showing their impotence when they let Bell Atlantic merge with NYNEX. 2) The new telecom law is a failure, since companies are merging, not competing. 3) An AT&T-SBC behemoth would hasten the merger trend by forcing other telecom companies to combine to compete with it. The backspin from AT&T and SBC is that the United States needs its own giant to compete with other countries' national phone monopolies. (5/28) French voters rebuked the center-right government of President Jacques Chirac. Only 30 percent supported Chirac's coalition in parliamentary elections, raising the prospect that a leftist alliance of Socialists, Communists, and Greens will take control in Sunday's runoffs. Handicappers put the left's chances at even money or better. Chirac's protg, Prime Minister Alain Juppe, took the fall, and has said he will resign. Editorialists debated whether the voters were punishing Chirac and Juppe for 1) daring to privatize and cut government functions (the New York Times ); 2) failing to privatize and cut government functions (the Wall Street Journal ); or 3) "on-again, off-again" weaving between the two positions (the Washington Post ). (5/28) Congolese (formerly Zairian) rebel-turned-ruler Laurent Kabila is being downgraded from liberator to tyrant. 1) He appointed himself president and said he won't schedule elections for at least two years. 2) He scrapped the post of prime minister (sought by opposition leader Etienne Tshisekedi) and stacked his Cabinet with rebel allies. 3) He banned public demonstrations to prevent Tshisekedi from staging a protest march. 4) There are more and more reports of mass graves that may belong to Rwandan Hutu refugees slaughtered by Kabila's troops. 5) Analysts worry that Kabila is too beholden to foreign-backed Tutsi military commanders, who may persecute Hutus and inflame ethnic tensions. The New York Times reported that "euphoria" in the capital is giving way to "disillusion and dissent." (5/28) Update from the Muslim world. Good news: Iranians overwhelmingly elected a new president, Mohammed Khatami, who has promised more individual freedom. Analysts hailed him as a "moderate" and a sign that Iranians are fed up with their police state. Bad news: Khatami indicated he has no plans to improve relations with the United States. Skeptics doubt that one man could reform the country, recalling the Reagan administration's arms-for-hostages deal with "Iranian moderates." Cynics dismiss the term as an oxymoron. Good news: The Palestinian Authority released a Palestinian journalist who apparently had been locked up because his reports offended Yasser Arafat. Bad news: A Palestinian human-rights group accused the authority of widespread torture and political oppression. Good news: Turkey 's armed forces are tightening screws on the country's ruling Muslim religious party in order to safeguard pluralism. Bad news: The fiercely authoritarian Taliban movement captured a key city in Afghanistan , extending its dominion to 90 percent of the country. Good news: The Taliban began fighting with allies. (5/28) Miscellany: A series of twisters killed more than 30 people in central Texas, re-devastating a tiny town hit by a tornado eight years ago. Up-and-coming Rep. Susan Molinari , R-N.Y., will quit her job this summer to anchor a Saturday morning CBS news show. The New York Times , pointing to George Stephanopoulos, speculated Molinari may use the TV job to advance her political career. Dutchman Arie Luyendyk won the Indianapolis 500 . Controversy erupted over the final lap, in which officials sent mixed signals as to whether drivers were supposed to slow down because of a near-accident. The runner-up, chronic hard-luck racer Scott Goodyear, complained the mix-up had prevented him from passing Luyendyk. The Dow Jones industrial average extended its record-breaking run to nearly 7,400. A new report suggests that studies on the health risks of breast implants may be skewed because women who get the implants are (among other things) more likely to be alcoholics, more likely to be promiscuous, and more likely to dye their hair. (5/28) The defense opened its case in the Oklahoma City bombing trial . Its theory: The real bomber was blown up in the explosion. The key evidence: A severed leg not matched to any bodies of known victims. Highlights of the day: 1) The Oklahoma City medical examiner enumerated detached body parts collected from the scene and 2) Northern Ireland's former chief medical examiner recounted a bombing case in which an extra penis found at the site turned out to be the sole intact remnant of the man who had carried the bomb. (5/23) Lt. Kelly Flinn agreed to a "general" rather than an "honorable" discharge from the Air Force. This will spare her a court-martial and possible jail time for allegedly committing adultery, lying about it, and disobeying orders to end that affair. However, the discharge will cost her her veterans' and other benefits. Air Force Secretary Sheila Widnall refused to grant an honorable discharge, citing Flinn's alleged "lack of integrity and disobedience to order" and warning that a special exemption would discredit the military-justice system. Reports suggested Flinn cut her deal at just the right time, since 1) the media were becoming skeptical of her "carefully orchestrated publicity campaign"; 2) editorialists (e.g. the Los Angeles Times and Chicago Tribune ) were growing more sympathetic to the Air Force's case; and 3) Flinn's former lover and his ex-wife were beginning a counterattack on her character. (5/23) President Clinton accused the fashion industry of glamorizing heroin . After reading about a photographer who died of a heroin overdose after selling pictures of emaciated, vacant-eyed models, Clinton argued that such images have encouraged young people to take up the habit. Critics protested that 1) the heroin look faded from fashion magazines months ago; 2) heroin use is far less common than Clinton suggested; and 3) it's not fair to blame drug abuse on advertisers. Still, many magazine editors said Clinton was right. The New York Times ' A.M. Rosenthal tried to say something or other about it. (5/23) More miscellany: Russian President Boris Yeltsin fired his top two military officers for resisting budget cuts and reforms. Analysts regard this as a key victory for Russia's economic reformers over its military hawks. A New York judge dropped charges against the Danish woman who had left her baby in a stroller outside a restaurant while dining. The catch: She has to get out of the United States by next week. Mattel introduced "Share a Smile Becky," a wheelchair-bound Barbie companion doll. Millie, the "first dog" of the Bush White House, has died. Her 1990 book (reportedly ghosted by Barbara Bush) has sold more than 300,000 copies. Alexander Solzhenitsyn is in the cardiac intensive-care unit of a Moscow hospital. Roseanne has agreed to launch a daily TV talk show next year. Tiger Woods has signed an endorsement deal with American Express. The deal reportedly adds $13 million to the $60 million Woods has already secured for similar contracts with Nike and Titleist. Meanwhile, Fuzzy Zoeller lunched with Woods at a country club and has evidently patched things up. There was no word on what they ate. (5/23) Sportscaster Marv Albert denied charges that he had assaulted and sodomized a female acquaintance. Meanwhile, the press unearthed problems with his anonymous accuser: 1) She faces criminal charges for allegedly threatening to kill her ex-boyfriend and his girlfriend and 2) a female co-worker has filed a complaint accusing her of physical harassment. NBC stood by Albert, announcing he will continue to broadcast basketball playoff games. Albert has retained the same lawyer who represented Nicole Brown Simpson's family in the O.J. Simpson civil case. (5/23) No. 177: "Them!" In his inaugural address Tuesday, Texas Gov. George W. Bush said, "We should celebrate them in festivals, we should enjoy their traditions in our homes, we should share them with friends." What? by noon ET Thursday to e-mail your answer to newsquiz@slate.com . Tuesday's question (No. 176)--"Wrecking Ball": "It did the Vice President and me a lot of good to pick up those hammers and crowbars and tear something down," President Clinton said Monday. Tear what down? "That twirler's frilly little underth ...--oh, I meant the chains of racism and homophobia."-- Meg Wolitzer "The chains that bind the workers of the world. The president was speaking metaphorically, of course, about his achievements in estate tax relief."-- Jennifer Miller "A Habitat for Humanity house. 'Sometimes he just doesn't listen,' apologized Jimmy Carter to the bewildered family."-- Beth Sherman "Lani Guinier."-- Susan Vance "All ideological differences between Democrats and Republicans."-- Daniel Radosh ( Tom Banker had a similar answer.) Click for more responses. Randy's Wrap-Up I believe Jimmy Carter was the only Democratic president of the 20 th century to convincingly wield hand tools. Republicans tend to be better at this sort of thing. Ronald Reagan looked at home with a chain saw, although he badly gashed his leg attempting to read a book for some photographers. Of course, George Bush was befuddled by a supermarket scanner, which isn't even a real hand tool, and besides, no one expected him to operate it, just carry the bags of groceries out to the car. Teddy Roosevelt liked to take a 9 pound sledge hammer out to the woods and pound a moose into the ground up to its antlers. He said it impressed the Spaniards. The real purpose of these sweaty efforts is a display of manliness and blue-collar virtue. For Roosevelt and Reagan, this meant the conquest of nature. Carter's was a more modest Christian carpentry. Maybe someday we'll have a true liberal Democrat in the White House, secure enough in her ideology to put down the tools, pick up the phone, and call a repair crew. Hard Hat Area Answer At a Washington retirement home, the president helped demolish a wall to make room for a health clinic, an activity meant, in some weirdly elliptical way, to commemorate the life of the Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. Republican Response Extra Because so many people turned off the set right after the president's speech, then stumbled toward the liquor cabinet, clutching their head and moaning, they missed these highlights from the opposition. If you read between the lines, you can infer what new measures are being proposed. From Rep. Jennifer Dunn, R-Wash. "I know how that knot in the pit of your stomach feels; I've been there."--Some say the president's wire-tapping measures are grotesquely intrusive, but apparently the Republicans want to deploy some sort of shrinking machine that can inject a tiny congresswoman right into your digestive system. "Our country is not in crisis. There are no tanks in the streets."--She seemed so disappointed. I think what she's getting at is a crime-fighting plan involving larger, more heavily armed Jeep Cherokees. From Rep. Steve Largent, R-Okla. "I got to live every boy's dream: playing in the National Football League."--Actually, my dream involves a time machine, Carol Lombard, and a thermos of Manhattans, but that's not an actual government policy. Not yet. "It wasn't until after I was elected that I attended a Republican function where a banner hung that read 'GOP.' I had to ask someone what those letters stood for."--You'd think at that point, mortified by his own ignorance, Largent would have resigned. Maybe this signals an interest in on-the-job training? "True liberty and freedom come from God."--Largent may have mixed up GOP and GOD; he did get hit in the head a lot living out his dream (whereas in my dream, Ms. Lombard and I say amusing things to each other in the bathtub and then slip into attractive robes and then the camera slowly zooms in on the fireplace). I'm not sure how Largent's idea translates into policy, but I'd look for these words in any bill he introduces: human sacrifice. Race Results Top target: Betrayal of FDR's legacy. Disclaimer: All submissions will become the property of Slate and will be published at Slate 's discretion. Slate may publish your name on its site in connection with your submission . Who's the Greatest? Your article "" is right on, Jacob Weisberg, to question the descriptive "greatest" in referring to the World War II generation. (I have no problem at all with it being used to describe Muhammad Ali.) I was born in 1937 and have been a student of my parents' and my generation since then. I thought Tom Brokaw's term was cute until I saw on television the gist of his conclusion--then I thought it was stupid and packaged for television. (Did he hear about Peter Jennings writing a book then rush to get one out first?) The World War II people won a war (two wars, one on each side of the world) then felt they had earned riches, comfort, a homogenous society, everlasting youthful looks, the right to never die, the right to never being questioned with the corresponding right to never being wrong, etc. You did a good job of starting the dialogue. There's a ton of good, commercial stories to be had in mining that way of thinking. -- Shannon Smith Yakima, Wash. Fathers of Vietnam Re Jacob Weisberg's piece "GI Envy": Perhaps we should also remember that those "heroic GIs" are the ones who ensnared their country in Vietnam and sent the "boomers" into that superbly planned and managed conflict without the support of their country. -- David Zellman Modesto, Calif. Bravo, "Book Club"! As a recent subscriber to Slate , I cannot tell you how much I have enjoyed the exchange between Dana Gioia and James Wood as they reviewed contemporary poetry. How refreshing to have candor in a review instead of the usual (and predictable) empty praise that passes for criticism. This is a concept--and these are two critics--that you need to repeat often in the future in order for me to change from a trial to a regular subscription. I want more of this type of intelligent honesty in the criticism I read. Good show! -- Michael Peich West Chester, Penn. McGwire's Balls The Jan. 13 "" mentions the amount of money Mark McGwire's 70 th home run ball sold for and points out the difference between the two quoted numbers--$2.7 million in the Los Angeles Times and over $3 million by the other major papers. The difference is: The first is the amount that the lucky fan is going to get (prior to IRS inquiries), and the second number is the first number plus the auctioneer's fee. This is the amount on the check the new owner writes. So how much did it sell for? I'd say it was the second number. But if the story was about the bonanza to the fan, the first number is accurate. -- Paul Strasser Louisville, Colo. The Senate voted 80-19 to expand NATO to include Poland, Hungary, and the Czech Republic. Supporters called it a triumph for the Clintonian vision of a big, happy family of democracies. Critics called it a triumph for the Clintonian vision of a big family of clients for happy U.S. defense contractors. Doomsayers warned it would freak out the Russians, who might resort to nuclear weapons. Half-cynics argued that the United States' obligation to arm and defend the new members isn't worth the military help the new members will provide. Complete cynics replied that the Poles are better allies than the French. (Also check out Slate 's "Recycled.") (5/1/98) Ken Starr's Whitewater grand jury indicted former Justice Department official Webster Hubbell on fraud and tax evasion charges . Starr also won indictments against Hubbell's wife and the couple's lawyer and accountant. Analysts agreed that Starr is turning up the heat on Hubbell in order to make him finger the Clintons for allegedly directing hush money to Hubbell to shut him up about Whitewater. Contrarians argued that 1) if Starr really had the goods, he'd have won indictments of Hubbell on obstruction of justice charges and 2) the indictment shows that Starr has given up on cutting a friendly deal with Hubbell. Hubbell's reply: "The office of the independent counsel can indict my dog, they can indict my cat, but I'm not going to lie about the president." The Starr camp's spin: This connects Hubbell to Susan McDougal and Monica Lewinsky in a web of obstruction of justice. The Clinton camp's spin: This connects Hubbell, McDougal, and Lewinsky in a web of obsessive persecution by Starr. (See 4/27/98 for an earlier in the week update of Starr's recent investigation.) (5/1/98) President Clinton held his first solo news conference since the onset of the Monica Lewinsky scandal. He tried to talk about economic growth and NATO expansion, but reporters focused their questions on Lewinsky--and then focused their follow-up coverage on their questions about Lewinsky. CBS spent 38 seconds showing its own reporter asking a Lewinsky question, leaving 14 seconds for Clinton's reply. The pundit consensus: 1) Clinton ducked all the Lewinsky questions. And they call this a news conference? 2) He tried simultaneously to turn the other cheek (to Starr and Newt Gingrich) and to portray Starr as the obsessed leader of a partisan vendetta. 3) His vendetta spin (which the New York Times called "self-serving") curdled the turn-the-other-cheek spin. (5/1/98) Computer programmer Larry Froistad was arrested after confessing in an alcohol/addiction-related Internet support group to murdering his daughter. Members of the support group turned him in. The media seized on the Internet angle, pondering whether e-mail is private (answer: No) and whether it's ethical for members of an online support group to breach confidentiality if they suspect a crime (answer: You decide). Big-picture theorists concluded courts will now treat Internet confessions as fair game. Skeptics argued that this case doesn't set such a precedent, because Froistad confessed to the police by phone after learning that support group members had told them about his postings. (5/1/98) Newt Gingrich escalated the Republican assault on President Clinton's ethics. Gingrich said: 1) The Clinton administration is involved in the most "complex, interlocking lawbreaking" and "the most systematic, deliberate obstruction of justice [and] coverup" in U.S. history. 2) The Clintonites "unpatriotically undermine the Constitution ... on behalf of their client." 3) If Clinton doesn't want to fire Ken Starr, "he should tell his staff to shut up." 4) Other Republicans should denounce Clinton too. Pundits said Gingrich was retaliating against obstruction of the House fund-raising investigation by Democrats, who in turn were retaliating against Rep. Dan Burton's description of Clinton as a "scumbag." Clinton spokesman Mike McCurry suggested Gingrich is in cahoots with billionaire conspiracy theorist Richard Mellon Scaife, adding that "as soon as [Gingrich] comes back to his senses, we'll do business." (4/29/98) The Federal Reserve Board says the Year 2000 problem will probably cost U.S. businesses at least $50 billion. The problem is that computers that designate years by two digits must be reprogrammed to distinguish 2000 from 1900. The bad news: It could slow down the economy enough to force a recession, as the 1970s oil shock did. The good news: 1) For this economy, a slowdown is just what the doctor ordered. 2) Plenty of companies are desperately seeking programmers. (4/29/98) Daniel Petrocelli, the lawyer who won the civil case against O.J. Simpson , says Simpson murdered his ex-wife for resuming an affair with football star Marcus Allen. Petrocelli told Dateline NBC that 1) interviews with Simpson's associates always led back to Allen; 2) Simpson envied Allen for staying healthy and enjoying a longer football career than he did; 3) Nicole Brown Simpson had often used Allen to rile O.J.; and 4) her affair with Allen "made Simpson snap." Petrocelli conceded that he didn't present this theory in court because he couldn't prove it. Allen's spokesman denies that the football star had such an affair. (4/29/98) Alabama Gov. Fob James Jr. , the nation's most vigorous elected advocate of student prayer, apologized for cursing out a new Alabama law requiring a moment of silence in public schools. James, upset because the law doesn't authorize audible prayers, told its sponsor that it "ain't worth the damn paper it's written on" and "ain't going to require shit" until Congress passes a law to back it up. James later discovered that his microphone was on. (4/29/98) Iraq celebrated Saddam Hussein's birthday . Thousands of civilians marched in his hometown. Young girls sang his praises. Children staged a play for him. The Iraqi media covered the celebration nonstop. A newspaper reported that 22 million candles were lit to honor him. The U.N. Security Council marked the occasion by renewing sanctions against Iraq for another six months. (4/29/98) Kenneth Starr and his deputies interrogated Hillary Clinton for several hours at the White House. The subject was her legal work for the savings and loan at the center of the Whitewater scandal. Videotape of her answers will be shown to the Arkansas Whitewater grand jury, which will disband May 7. Pundits played up the tension between Starr and the first lady (since she recently called him "a politically motivated prosecutor who is allied with the right-wing opponents of my husband") and debated whether he will indict her. The overwhelming consensus is that he won't. (4/27/98) Paula Jones attended the White House Correspondents Association Dinner , as did President Clinton. Some pundits called her presence tacky (she was a guest of Insight magazine), and some guests booed her. The Washington Post called her dress "cleavage-coercing" and reported that her handler, Susan Carpenter-McMillan, dabbed sweat from Jones' upper lip and set aside a piece of used chewing gum that Jones handed her. Most news accounts concluded that Clinton overshadowed Jones with a funny, largely apolitical speech featuring digs at Congress ("a show about nothing"), the press corps ("I hardly have any time to read the news anymore. Mostly I just skim the retractions"), and himself ("I am so sorry ... about disco"). (4/27/98) A 14-year-old Pennsylvania boy fatally shot one teacher and wounded another and two boys. He was charged with murder and tried as an adult. The media linked the case to other recent shootings (in Arkansas, Mississippi, and Kentucky) and focused on the warning signs and the importance of taking them seriously. Two clues in the Pennsylvania case: 1) The boy had said, "I'm going to go to the dinner dance and kill some people." 2) A friend had nicknamed him "Satan." (4/27/98) Pakistan is threatening to detonate a nuclear bomb in response to India's nuclear tests over the past week. Pakistan says this may be necessary to deter Indian aggression, since the major industrial nations failed to condemn India at their weekend summit. Meanwhile the two countries are waging a war of words. To find out who's winning, click . (And check out "International Papers" for reactions from around the globe. "Pundit Central" gives you the commentariat's take.) (5/18/98) President Clinton helped China get into the business of launching U.S. communications satellites by transferring licensing authority over these launches from the State to the Commerce Department in 1996. The New York Times reported that this decision overrode State's wishes and benefited, among others, the Chinese government official who subsequently funneled large contributions to the Democratic Party. The naive, dramatic conspiracy theory: Clinton shifted the authority in exchange for donations from the Chinese. The sophisticated, boring conspiracy theory: Clinton shifted the authority in exchange for donations from the American companies involved. The most sophisticated, most boring explanation: Democratic fund-raiser Johnny Chung used the illusion of an influence-peddling conspiracy to skim most of the money for himself. (5/18/98) The Justice Department and 20 states sued Microsoft for "illegal, anti-competitive practices." Among other things, DOJ seeks an injunction to force Microsoft either to separate Windows 98 from Internet Explorer or to include Netscape Navigator. The states demand that Microsoft stop bundling additional programs with Windows. Microsoft Chairman Bill Gates says the government is attacking innovation and endangering the U.S. economy. Each side says it is standing up for consumers and free enterprise. (5/18/98) Indonesia is in chaos. Protests against the government of the world's fourth most populous nation have provoked lethal gunfire from police. Riots and looting have drawn tanks into the streets. More than two dozen people are dead. The United States has told most Americans to leave. Diagnosis: Indonesians are angry with their dictator, President Suharto, and are ready to dump him now that his corruption and mismanagement have ruined the economy. Everyone is waiting to see what the army will do. Editorialists argued: 1) Suharto should step down. 2) The army should refuse to support him. 3) Indonesians should turn to democratic institutions. Cynics observed that there is little empirical basis for any of these hopes. (5/15/98) Frank Sinatra died at 82. Key stats: 2,000 songs, 240 albums, one Oscar, one Medal of Freedom. Obits called him the pop singer of the century, noting his range, durability, and influence through Big Band, blues, and rock 'n' roll. Oldsters reminded Gen Xers that Sinatra drew screaming crowds and swooning girls before Elvis Presley and the Beatles did. The unauthorized spin: hot-tempered serial husband and Mafia pal. The authorized spin: blue-collar hero. (David Plotz's October 1997 Slate "Assessment" of Ol' Blue Eyes includes audio clips.) (5/15/98) Seinfeld signed off. The buildup: weeks of media hype by the "Seinfeld industrial complex." Plot summary of the final episode: Jerry, Elaine, George, and Kramer went to jail for failing to aid a carjacking victim in a small town. Dozens of peripheral characters mocked by the main characters in previous episodes returned to testify against them. The spins, in order of ascending cynicism: 1) This teaches us that the current vices exemplified by the main characters (selfishness, narcissism, and greed) will be punished. 2) This is the last time all Americans will share a communal TV experience--sniff, sniff--before the cable/Internet revolution permanently disperses us. 3) This is the last time a network will be able to stuff a sitcom with $32 million worth of interminable commercials. 4) The main characters will get out of jail and launch new shows to rake in new jackpots. 5) New York Times headline: "Sitcom Falls, World Survives." Chicago Tribune editorial: "Yada Yada, Get a Life." (5/15/98) Attorney General Janet Reno requested an independent counsel to check out influence-peddling and illegal fund-raising allegations against Labor Secretary Alexis Herman . The Washington Post said Reno's decision proves she is not covering up for President Clinton. The New York Times said the decision suggests that she is covering up for Clinton by not seeking an independent counsel against him but going after Herman even though the evidence against her is relatively weak. (5/13/98) The New Republic fired writer Stephen Glass for inventing stories in his articles and fabricating notes to fool TNR 's fact checkers. Editors at other magazines for whom Glass wrote are reviewing his published articles to gauge the extent of his deception. The spins: 1) He fooled everyone. 2) He fooled everyone except me. 3) It's his editor's fault, for not caring about accuracy. 4) It's attitude journalism's fault. 5) It's the cult of youth's fault. 6) It's his parents' fault. 7) The poor guy, he was under too much pressure. 8) Stop pitying him, he put himself under the pressure. 9) You just can't trust anyone anymore. 10) If you reward writers who con their subjects, don't be surprised when they con you. (For Slate 's take, see "Glass Houses," by Jack Shafer.) (5/13/98) The Danish woman who was arrested in New York last year for leaving her baby in a stroller outside a restaurant has sued the city for $20 million. She says she was falsely arrested, maliciously prosecuted, and unconstitutionally deprived of custody of her baby. Reporters noted with irony that the woman, having been admonished to embrace American customs, has done so by filing a huge lawsuit. New York City officials compounded the irony by accusing her of gall. (5/13/98) Barry Goldwater died. Conservatives lionized him as a pioneer of conservatism before his time. Liberals congratulated him for repudiating the religious right in later years. Pundits, starved for candor among today's politicians, gladly overlooked Goldwater's lousy civil rights record as they waxed nostalgic about his blunt-spokenness. President Clinton, recognizing that unfashionableness has become fashionable, joined in the praise of Goldwater's integrity and independence. (6/1/98) World nuclear powers are scrambling to defuse the India-Pakistan arms race . After Pakistan reportedly detonated six bombs in retaliation for the five detonated by India last month, Indian political leaders 1) suggested India would resume its "voluntary moratorium" on nuclear tests; 2) proposed a no-first-use treaty with Pakistan; and 3) urged talks on a "nondiscriminatory" world treaty to limit the nuclear programs of all nuclear powers. The good news: India is trying to defuse its arms race with Pakistan. The bad news: The known nuclear powers will never agree to a nondiscriminatory treaty. Instead, they will ask India and Pakistan not to put their nukes on missiles. The liberal pessimistic line: Sanctions won't solve the proliferation problem. The conservative pessimistic line: Treaties won't solve it, either. The nonpartisan pessimistic line: We'd better try something, because the alternative--mutual nuclear deterrence--nearly led to U.S.-Soviet disaster early in the Cold War and is likely to be even less stable in the case of India and Pakistan. For a review of the state of wordplay before the Pakistani tests, click . (6/1/98) Newt Gingrich ignited a storm of controversies in Israel . Two weeks after 1) calling U.S. Secretary of State Madeleine Albright "the agent of the Palestinians," he 2) "slapped" President Clinton by saying non-Israelis have no right to judge Israel's security needs; 3) told Israel's parliament that the U.S. Congress backs Israeli Prime Minister Netanyahu in his rejection of Clinton's latest peace plan; 4) reportedly urged Netanyahu in a private meeting to defy Clinton's plan (though the Clinton administration could not confirm the report); and 5) declared Jerusalem Israel's "united and eternal capital," contrary to U.S. policy. Pundits called Gingrich's comments absurd, undiplomatic, reckless, destructive, disloyal, McCarthyist, and a cynical play for campaign money from American Jews. Gingrich replied that Clinton's aides were trying "to attack me when I am overseas trying to be helpful." (5/29/98) Comedian Phil Hartman was shot to death , evidently by his wife, Brynn, in a murder-suicide. Friends were baffled. Early speculation focused on Hartman's alleged affairs, his demanding career, and his wife's history of substance abuse. The Washington Post , while recalling the drug-induced premature deaths of fellow former Saturday Night Live stars John Belushi and Chris Farley, distinguished Hartman as well-liked and emotionally stable. Most interesting factoid: Brynn Hartman's real name was Vicky Joe Omdahl. (5/29/98) The Federal Trade Commission is preparing an antitrust suit against Intel . The alleged offenses: abusing its monopoly power and using pressure tactics against uncooperative computer makers. Future charges may include predatory pricing and anti-competitive contracts. Analysts linked the suit to the Justice Department's case against Microsoft. Wintel critics cheered the assault. Cynics joked that once again, the government is tackling a high-tech monopoly just as it is beginning to lose its grip on the market. The Washington Post reported that FTC staffers will now get "to share the spotlight" after "stewing that they let Microsoft become a Justice Department trophy." (5/29/98) Springfield, Ore., buried two children killed by their classmate Kip Kinkel in last week's cafeteria massacre . Politicians and experts debated the meaning of it all. For a review of the arguments, click . (5/27/98) Voters in Northern Ireland approved a peace plan . Among other things, the plan appeases Catholics by including Northern Ireland in an all-Ireland council, and it appeases Protestants by abolishing the Irish Republic's constitutional claim to the majority Protestant North. Editorialists cheered the vote as a rejection of past violence and an embrace of peace and cooperation. (5/26/98) Judge Norma Holloway Johnson ruled that Secret Service agents cannot refuse to testify before the Lewinsky grand jury about the president's behavior. She rejected the argument, advanced by the Secret Service and by President Clinton's surrogates, that this would endanger presidents by causing them to evade the Secret Service personnel who are supposed to protect them. (5/26/98) Pro-democracy parties won the first legislative elections in Hong Kong under Chinese rule. The naive spin: The democrats won. The half-sophisticated spin: The democrats get ripped off, because the Chinese rigged the election so that only half the legislature's seats were available. The rest are chosen by organizations from which most voters are excluded. The fully sophisticated spin: Despite getting ripped off, the democrats have secured a political base from which to harass and embarrass the Chinese. (5/26/98) The Supreme Court refused to hear a challenge to a South Carolina child-endangerment law that has been used to prosecute pregnant women who imperil their fetuses by using illegal drugs. The challenge by pro-choice groups was based on narrow arguments, but the media are spinning the court's action as a victory for fetal rights. (5/26/98) The Chicago Bulls won their sixth National Basketball Association championship in eight years. Michael Jordan nailed the game-winning jump shot with five seconds left, cementing his legacy as the greatest clutch performer of all time. Sports pundits gave the Bulls a few seconds to celebrate before bombarding them with questions about whether Jordan, sidekick Scottie Pippen, and coach Phil Jackson will return to the Bulls or disband the dynasty. Jordan worshippers debated whether he should retire on this perfect note or return in pursuit of even greater perfection. Cynics advised him to retire before the impending salary-cap war between players and team owners brings the NBA to a grinding halt. (6/15/98) Independent Counsel Kenneth Starr confirmed he and his aides had briefed reporters on a not-for-attribution basis on the Monica Lewinsky case. Brill's Content , a new media magazine, broke the story. Publisher Steven Brill says the briefings violated Justice Department ethical guidelines because some of the information came from witnesses who were about to give the same testimony to the grand jury. Starr rejects this interpretation of the guidelines and says he is authorized to brief reporters whenever necessary to "counter misinformation" and "engender confidence in the work of this office." President Clinton's aides are demanding an investigation of Starr's conduct. (6/15/98) Sunbeam CEO Al "Chainsaw" Dunlap , who earned his reputation and wealth by firing employees because they weren't helping the company's bottom line, was fired because he wasn't helping the company's bottom line. "A taste of his own medicine," clucked the Wall Street Journal . (Click here for David Plotz's "Assessment" of Dunlap and here for James Surowiecki's analysis of how Dunlap darkened Sunbeam's future.) (6/15/98) NATO is planning military exercises in Albania and Macedonia to deter further Serbian aggression against Kosovo . Background: Yugoslav President (read: Serbian strongman) Slobodan Milosevic has launched a military assault on ethnic Albanian rebels who seek Kosovar (read: ethnic Albanian) independence from Yugoslavia. Lots of people have been killed or left homeless. NATO ministers say the exercises are designed to 1) scare Milosevic and 2) allow NATO to avoid actual military involvement. Skeptics argue that this is a contradiction. The United States doesn't want to undertake a military commitment in Kosovo because this is a U.S. election year. ( Slate 's "Gist" gives you a backgrounder on the conflict, and Laura Kay Rozen is filing "Dispatches" from Kosovo.) (6/12/98) Mitsubishi agreed to settle a sexual harassment suit for $34 million , triple the previous record for such a suit. The case involved 300 women at an Illinois auto plant. The Equal Employment Opportunity Commission, which negotiated the settlement, says it will scare other companies into enforcing zero-tolerance policies on sexual harassment. Skeptics argued that Mitsubishi got off easy. (6/12/98) Local and federal prosecutors are looking for grounds to execute the three whites charged with the vicious murder of a disabled black man in Texas. The men, who have been linked to the KKK and the Aryan Brotherhood, allegedly chained James Byrd Jr. to a pickup truck and dragged him two miles, tearing him to pieces. The district attorney wants to justify the death penalty by adding an additional felony charge, such as kidnapping. The FBI wants to charge the men with violating Byrd's civil rights. The Texas spin: Who'da thunk it could happen here? The out-of-state spin: Texas is in denial about its racism. The high-minded spin: The whole country is in denial. The anti-media spin: Why do we treat school shootings as a national epidemic but dismiss racial killings as isolated incidents? (6/11/98) The Supreme Court heard arguments on whether the attorney-client privilege continues after the client is dead. ( Slate 's "Explainer" ponders the question.) Independent Counsel Kenneth Starr asked the court to strip this privilege from Vince Foster, the late deputy White House counsel, so Starr can see notes that Foster's attorney took from a conversation with Foster days before the latter's death. Starr thinks the notes may indicate that Hillary Clinton or others lied under oath about Travelgate. He argues that the privilege has already been curbed in some cases. Liberal editorialists replied that a victory for Starr would unacceptably deter other clients from speaking honestly to their lawyers, and they predicted the court will see it their way. (6/11/98) Internet reporter Matt Drudge is charming his way into the punditocracy. Previously vilified for inaccuracy and recklessness, Drudge is drawing favorable reviews this week following a recent speech at the National Press Club. To learn how Drudge is rehabilitating his image, click . (6/10/98) The Federal Trade Commission sued Intel for alleged antitrust violations. It says Intel denied three companies information about its chips (which they needed in order to develop products for the 80 percent of computers that are based on Intel chips), thereby forcing them to accept Intel's terms for use of their patented technologies. Intel agrees that this happened, but says it isn't against law. Skeptics say that 1) the case against Intel is far weaker than the case against Microsoft, because the allegedly victimized companies are Intel's customers more than its competitors, and 2) the government's picture of Intel as a fierce monopoly is outdated, since its market share is under assault. As though on cue, Intel cut its prices. (6/9/98) Nigerian dictator Gen. Sani Abacha died , reportedly of a heart attack. Almost nobody is sorry. Experts debated whether he would be remembered more for his brutal tyranny or for his corruption and plunder of the economy. Western countries and Nigerian opposition leaders implored the military to use Abacha's death as an opportunity to restore civilian democracy. Instead, the military immediately named Abacha's top defense aide, a fellow general, to succeed him. The good news: The country might be angry enough to rise up against the military. The bad news: Lots of people might be killed in the process. (Read "International Papers" for media reactions from Nigeria.) (6/9/98) A Strategy of Tactics This spot, produced by the dean of Democratic media consultants, Bob Squier, begins by indicting the Republicans for "another negative" attack. Initially, it doesn't even bother to identify the substance of the attack. Survey research shows that one of the most effective negative charges is that the other side is being negative. This ad seeks to create a context of doubt for any and all Republican attacks on Bill Clinton. In fact, both sides run negative ads. Eventually the ad implies that its subject (sort of) is immigration. The purpose is to pre-empt another "natural" Republican issue. Immigration continues to be social and political dynamite, and this spot tries to take the match out of Republican hands. The Buchananesque toughness of the pictures validates the toughness of the language, leaving the impression that Clinton is as anti-immigrant as any Republican. The spot now shifts to its own negative fusillade against Republicans. They opposed protecting U.S. workers from "replacement" by foreign workers. The actual issue is not explained, but the charge taps into the populist anger about stagnant wages, foreign competition, and the globalization that both Clinton and Dole, in fact, have supported. Next, the spot says the Republicans opposed Clinton on more police and anti-drug programs: another effort to pre-empt, or even reverse, a perennial Republican advantage. During this attack phase, the ad alternates film of House Speaker Newt Gingrich with vaguely relevant footage (What's inside the rug--an American job or an illegal alien?), while repeatedly referring to "the Dole-Gingrich budget." But where is Dole? His picture can't be used because, in theory if not in effect, the ad is an act of legislative advocacy, paid for by the Democratic National Committee, not the Clinton campaign--and legally, Dole, as an ex-senator, can't be its obvious target. The Clinton campaign converts a legal restriction into a political virtue, marrying Dole to the grainy black-and-white visage of America's most unpopular politician. By contrast, Clinton appears intermittently in decidedly presidential footage. The Clinton campaign doesn't want to be about one or two big things this year; it's not the economy stupid. This spot is the vivid expression of a strategy of many tactics. There is no message here, but an almost telegraphic mix of hot-button words. --Robert Shrum On With His Head Photo exploits the controversy surrounding 1996's most reviled political ad, a Greg Stevens and Co. spot for Virginia Republican Sen. John Warner that attacked challenger Mark Warner as a national Democrat and--heaven forbid--a liberal. The Stevens ad featured a buddy photo of President Clinton, former Virginia Gov. Doug Wilder, and Sen. Chuck Robb, in which Mark Warner's head was superimposed on Robb's body--Warner was actually off to the side in the picture. It would have been a bad idea to try this trick anywhere; it was an even worse idea to try it in Washington, using a Washington Post photo. When the fake-photo story hit the front pages, Stevens, one of the most respected Republican consultants around, took the fall. John Warner asked him to leave the campaign (although he's still working for Bob Dole, and it's still not clear exactly how all this happened). Stevens himself is so closemouthed about it that he could do an ad for No Excuses jeans. Mark Warner's media team responded with an ad that targets John Warner's greatest strength--his perceived integrity. Photo assumes, correctly, that the audience is familiar with the controversy, and opens--as the narrator says--with the "real photo." Mark is almost out of the frame; you wouldn't look past the three powerful, well-known figures to find him--unless you were explicitly looking for him, that is. The next scene piques the viewer's interest by showing how the trick was played. Though the image was computer-generated, the tactic is as old as Stalin airbrushing the exiled Trotsky out of photos with Lenin. But where the old way always looked fake, today's technology can make the fake look entirely authentic. The next scene invokes a newspaper story as a third-party verifier of the scandal, and adds the charge that John's campaign is guilty of the dirty deed and of lying about it. Here Mark's spot adroitly turns the corner from response to attack. Indeed, it ignores the essence of John's charge (captured in the succeeding scene of the offending ad, which showed House Democratic Leader Dick Gephardt, Sen. Ted Kennedy, and Sen. Chris Dodd; they were the ones for whom Mark was accused in the red chyron of "Raising Millions"), choosing, instead, to use the phony picture to segue into a general attack on John Warner's character. Until now, this Republican senator has been a rare exception to politics as usual: He broke with his party to oppose Robert Bork for the Supreme Court; he opposed Oliver North for the Senate even after North was the Republican nominee against Chuck Robb, the GOP's No. 1 target in 1994; he's pro-choice. These stands protected him against the standard Democratic charges against the Republicans: Gingrich, Medicare, and education cuts. But Photo punches through his Teflon. Charging that John was "less than candid," it asks, "How long has he been fooling us?" The fake ad becomes a moment of dark revelation--a window into John's true character. The charges pile up--and what is a response spot dares to charge that John is "unprincipled," that we can't "trust" him. The visual recap of the trick-decapitation and the ensuing newspaper story make the assault as credible as it can be, given the unusually strong public perception of John as a decent and independent guy, who was, until now, the least likely of political hacks. The fake photo is the latest emblem of a year when consultants have become more notorious than famous, more Dick Morris than James Carville. Mark Warner's consultants moved swiftly to convert the mistake into their best argument yet for unseating John Warner, whose campaign previously boasted that he made Virginia proud. --Robert Shrum Doing Coke at the Office Office , produced by the Leo Burnett Co. Inc. of Chicago for the Coca-Cola Co. Office opens in a very proper, high-ceilinged office space. Its rows of well-ordered desks--far from the power and privilege of a private office--evoke the worst fears about the dehumanizing places where corporate careers begin. Then we hear the whoosh of a cap turning on a bottle of Diet Coke. The guy opening the soda (dressed in a white shirt and tie--at least you can take your jacket off at your desk) has broken not only the silence but also the rules. Heads turn at other desks as big-band music strikes up and the Diet Coke drinker spins away in his desk chair. Suddenly decked out in a snazzy blue suit, he starts dancing acrobatically, Astaire-style, and singing the soda's theme, Sinatra-style ("just for the feel of it" updates the long-running "just for the taste of it" theme of previous Diet Coke campaigns). The lighting changes, too, making the office space look like the inside of a nightclub. Diet Coke takes you off the beaten career track, the spot suggests. It liberates the young rebel who's doing what he has to do to get ahead, but who still doesn't take it all too seriously. We've seen these visuals before. It's Steve Martin in Pennies From Heaven . Our guy is being transported to a different astral plane. And the vehicle is Diet Coke. He dances off the walls and over to the desks of two women, who smile up at him--they've caught the mood. This is the kind of guy who gets the girls. We know that for sure as he turns toward one of them, strokes her chin, and hands her the bottle. The narrator tells us that "everyone is singing to the sound of Diet Coke," and invites us to win CDs and trips to the Grammies by checking the bottom of the bottle cap. (The fine print about a "one-in-nine" chance acknowledges regulations about truth in advertising: Even a rebel has to conform to some rules.) After the bottle cap flips off, revealing "YOU WIN," we cut to the latest in audio gear--and to one of the office women dressed up for a night on the town. She dances and dips with our guy as he sings, "My place or yours." On his knees, he offers a rose to yet another woman--and the spot cuts back to normal. The lighting is fluorescent-bright as the bald boss looks out of his private-office door. (This is who our guy wants to become but is desperately afraid of becoming.) The boss has heard something, but the office looks as bland as usual. Was it just the whoosh of the cap turning that disturbed the silence of this cathedral of commerce? Or was it all a dream? As the boss closes his door, the on-screen chyron reads: "Diet Coke. Uncapped. Just for the sound of it." "Uncapped" is a direct reference to MTV's popular "Unplugged" series, in which electrified rockers strip down to acoustic to reach the essence of their music. Getting uncapped with Diet Coke presumably allows office workers a similar shot at authenticity. And the chance of winning a trip to the Grammies is more than a prize. It signifies that Diet Coke is a with-it product that evokes the inner music of youth, of being yourself wherever you are. Lest anyone miss this point, when the bald boss shuts his door, our guy (off-screen) sings: "One more time!" Diet Coke may be a low-calorie drink, but its makers have never marketed it as a beverage for the overweight. You're supposed to drink Diet Coke because you like it, not because you have to drink it. You're a rebel who refuses to leave your youth behind. You drank Diet Coke before you got to the office, and while the bald guy can order you around, he can't take your soda away from you. --Robert Shrum Making the SportsCenter Team Talent Search, produced for ESPN Inc. by Wieden & Kennedy. Posing as a casting call for potential anchors, Talent Search , produced for SportsCenter on ESPN, is a pointed, witty put-down of sports, television, and politics. Making no concessions for the uninformed, the spot assumes viewers are familiar with its principal players and references. Only in the setup scene does a character get a chyron ID: We're not supposed to instantly recognize the ubiquitous SportsCenter producer who tells us that sports personalities do not automatically qualify as sports anchors. Reinforcing the idea is the first candidate--Washington Bullet Gheorghe Muresan, who, besides being the NBA's tallest player ever, is known as one of its least articulate: The Bullets use him in an ad whose entire point is that he can't even manage to recommend that viewers buy tickets to a Bullets game. That Muresan has made it to the interview lineup augurs well for the man who follows him. The chyron that accompanies our first shot of this next candidate, whom we see over the shoulders of the interviewers, further lowers the bar: This is "mid-season recruitment" in progress--anyone halfway decent could break in. The middle-aged man on the casting couch doesn't identify himself, but he tells us that he won a gold medal in the Olympics and a Rhodes scholarship, that he played for the Knicks for 10 years, and then: "I was a U.S. senator for 18 years." Some viewers will recognize Bill Bradley; others will know only that the candidate is a senator who used to play in the NBA. As with Muresan, you either get the reference or you don't. The spot makes sense either way. The interviewers share a glance--the mention of politics didn't go down well. One of them, clearly a better talker than Bradley (and he has proof--the conspicuously inconspicuous Emmy behind his shoulder), presses on: "How about any writing experience?" Three books, says Bradley, one of them on the best-seller list, and the Tax Reform Act of 1986. There's no pleasing the skeptics: "But no TV writing," observes one. The political stuff doesn't impress them, and given that they are probably making big money, why would they want their taxes reformed anyway? A wider shot of a basketball in addition to the Emmys suggests that Bradley should be talking more about his career in sports--but he doesn't seem to get it. The next question, "Any experience in front of an audience?" elicits mention of another political achievement. Yes, says the candidate, all wide-eyed: the keynote address to a Democratic National Convention. The interviewer's reaction is a sharp comment on the disconnect between popular culture and politics: "Ah," he says, unawed. "I meant a large audience." Bradley concedes--but there's a twinkle in his eye. Proof that he's skeptical about politics? Perhaps he quit the Senate (a fact that some viewers would know) because he wanted a job in something that really mattered--like sports? The closing chyron, "This is SportsCenter," reminds us this show gives sports an attitude. That other stuff on television--politics--is boring, long-winded; and politics vs. SportsCenter (or the State of the Union speech vs. the O.J. verdict?) is no contest. What's in this for Bradley? The self-deprecating, nonpolitical portrayal earns him advance exposure with what would be a hard-to-reach constituency if he ran for president in 2000. That's Bradley's real casting couch. For Dollar Bill, the big game is in the future, when he hopes to anchor a lot more than ESPN. Joe Camel's Kids FDA Rule , produced by J. Brian Smith of Smith & Harroff Inc. for the National Center for Tobacco-Free Kids. FDA Rule takes a leaf out of the tobacco industry's pouch: It targets kids. Capitalizing on a truth that has long stabilized cigarette marketing and sales--namely, that if you're going to hook new smokers, you have to catch 'em young--it is one of several spots, some more controversial than others, that attack smoking. And while there is no concrete proof that anti-smoking advertising reduces the number of smokers, states like California, which has taken an especially aggressive ad approach, claim a sharp dip. California, Massachusetts, and Arizona have pledged to spend $53 million this year on anti-tobacco advertising. That might seem like pennies compared with the tobacco industry's $5 billion in annual profits, but other states are joining the burgeoning bandwagon as well. Structured like a classic political negative, FDA Rule first states the opposition's claim, then attacks it: "Tobacco companies say they don't target kids" ... and then, to staccato music and pulsing visuals, "but the facts tell a different story." The female narrative voice serves a different purpose here than in traditional political campaigns, where it is sometimes used to soften negative spots. Here, it only compounds the menace. The context gives the woman an implied stake in the issue: She could, the spot seems to say, be the mother of one of these kids. The "facts" the tobacco industry avoids are laid out in snappy succession: A neon-lit night scene clustering around a Marlboro hoarding; a Joe Camel poster inviting viewers to "go ahead," assuring them that "it's on me"; shots of youngsters drawn to "eye-level displays" and "promotions that clearly appeal to kids." A kid looks into a cigarette-vending machine; a toy car is plastered with tobacco brand names; a Newport poster equates smoking with freshness and the outdoors; Joe Camel flaunts his sax. The speed and number of the images--blink once, and you'll miss two--make tobacco marketing seem demonic, all-pervasive. The rush settles briefly, with a slow shot of a hand manipulating a Marlboro race car. The hand is that of a young child, and the message--that he will learn ... and smoke--is made more explicit. Chyron and narrator tell us that "3,000 kids will start smoking today." The figure touted here would have required third-party verification in a political-campaign spot; it is easily accepted in a spot that takes on an industry that has long been banned from running ads on television. The spot shifts to a fresh-faced blond teen-ager lighting up in what appears to be a park. Whatever the actual demographic of the teen smoker--if there be one-- FDA Rule is pitched at the most powerful voting bloc in American politics: the white middle class. No black leather and chains here--these are ubiquitous white-bread kids, who will nonetheless drop like flies because of "their addiction." Flash effects and double exposures reinforce cause and effect--promotions and displays and vending machines equal teen-age smokers and 1,000 deaths a day. The corollary: Protecting kids from "tobacco marketing and sales" (by supporting the Food and Drug Administration rules the spot is promoting) will protect them from the noxious weed itself. The closing scene strikes a match to the cause: "Tobacco vs. kids, where America draws the line." There's a dissonant note here, however: Throughout the spot, our smokers, the last one seen in satisfied profile, seem to be enjoying their smoke. A testament to the addictive power of tobacco, you say? Be that as it may, a tobacco company that dared to make an unabashed link between cigarettes and pleasure would have had the book thrown at them. Anti-smoking advertising is only one weapon in the fight against tobacco: A proposed settlement being worked on by U.S. cigarette makers and government lawyers will require that the tobacco industry 1) fund smoking-cessation programs for American smokers; 2) commit to reducing teen smoking by 50 percent over the next seven years, failing which it will pay huge penalties; 3) drastically curtail advertising; 4) fund "countermarketing" programs. Earlier today, the Federal Trade Commission announced that it will charge R.J. Reynolds Tobacco Co. with unfair advertising practices, alleging that its Joe Camel campaign targets children. (See MSNBC for the full story.) While FDA Rule is nowhere near as dramatic as other spots of its ilk (one shows a tobacco junkie smoking through a hole in her neck; another, a teen smoker's face putrefying, shedding worms, as she brushes her teeth; a third, Marlboro Man Wayne McLaren dying of lung cancer), it makes its point: Hook one kid early with promotions, and peer pressure will do the rest. --Robert Shrum Suing 101 The latest trend in malpractice law is educational lawsuits. The Chronicle of Higher Education reports that nearly 30 students are suing their universities for "breach of contract, fraud, misrepresentation, or negligence." Most of the claimants are angry at the poor quality or low value of the degrees they received. James M. Houston, who earned a Ph.D. in educational leadership from Northern Arizona University in 1995, is seeking $1 million in punitive damages for an education he says makes him a "fraud." Other litigants are suing over degrees that were never awarded. A student who had enrolled at Lorain County Community College in Ohio in 1993 but never graduated from the school's nursing program is suing for breach of contract and violation of consumer protection laws, Community College Week reports. According to that publication, the student contended that "the catalogue of course offerings and academic policies created a contract that obligated the college to provide him with a nursing degree." He complained that courses required for his degree hadn't been offered during the time of his matriculation, forcing him to leave before earning the degree. But an appeals court threw out the suit, stating, "Ohio does not recognize educational malpractice claims for public policy reasons." Cutting Off the Nose ... According to the Southern Illinois University Daily Egyptian, SIU's medical school has "changed its long-standing policy of cutting the limbs off of cadavers to fit them into wardrobe boxes" before shipping them off to be cremated. An e-mail message sent to local media and the Illinois Board of Higher Education had claimed that student workers were employed to remove the limbs and that the policy was designed to save money. Both charges turned out to be false. But the school of medicine has stated that "in the future no student workers will work with cadavers or disintegrated anatomical remains. Further, we will no longer physically alter anatomical remains." SIU says the new policy is more respectful of people who have donated their remains to the cause of science. In other cadaver news, a technique developed by a German anatomy professor named Gunther von Hagens, which allows him to preserve and study the body in detail, has occasioned protest. Plastination, as the preservation method is called, involves the replacement of blood by a colored polymer, which maintains its shape as the flesh is gradually removed. The entire circulatory system, down to the tiniest capillaries, can be examined at full scale. An exhibition of von Hagens' work has toured Japan and Germany, and protesters have called it an affront to human dignity--which the German Constitution requires citizens to preserve. Go Fish Stanley Fish, the flamboyant Milton scholar, legal theorist, and academic celebrity (David Lodge based his jet-setting Professor Morris Zapp on him), has left Duke University and the English department to which he attracted a parade of stars and controversies. According to the Chronicle of Higher Education , Fish will become dean of liberal arts and sciences at the University of Illinois at Chicago, a respected commuter campus making a bid for greater prestige and attention. Fish's wife, Jane Tompkins, who has made her disenchantment with conventional teaching and scholarship the subject of both her courses and her writing, will teach one course a year in the school of education. Fish is not the only academic celebrity making a somewhat mysterious job switch. Philosopher Richard Rorty (whose work was the topic of "Out of Left Field" in Slate ) has given up his chair at the University of Virginia (and a salary that made him the highest-paid public employee in the state) in favor of a nontenured post at Stanford, where he'll teach until he retires--or until a better offer comes along. His reason: He wants to be nearer to some members of his family. Face It A professor of English at the University of Mainz, Germany, believes she has figured out what William Shakespeare really looked like. Hildegard Hammerschmidt-Hummel believes the closest likeness may be a death mask most other scholars think is a fake. Hammerschmidt-Hummel, working with a team of scientists using advanced photographic techniques, found close similarities between the mask and a famous bust of Shakespeare, which she believes was copied from it. In particular, the bust bears traces of "three small swellings on the nasal corner of the left eye"--swellings that are evident on the death mask as well. The mask also shows a swelling in the upper left eyelid, which, according to Professor Walter Lerche, head of the Horst-Schmidt eye clinic in Wiesbaden, Germany, could be evidence of a rare form of cancer that may have killed the bard. British Shakespeare scholars remain skeptical, both of the death mask's authenticity and of the possibility of discovering Shakespeare's true face. All Politics Is Local Another NYU video controversy: NYU's Project on Media Ownership, under the direction of journalism Professor Mark Crispin Miller, recently completed a study of the effects of local television news on the civic life of Baltimore. PROMO's report claimed that local TV news foments fear and hostility among city residents and suburbanites alike by devoting a disproportionate share of its broadcast time to crime. Such "inadvertent anti-urban propaganda" also hurts Baltimore's reputation and economy. But the nonprofit research firm Public Agenda, whose polls PROMO used for the report, has publicly disavowed it. In its own press release, given to the Baltimore Sun and posted on the organization's Web site, Public Agenda charged that PROMO's report "while using data that are technically correct, distorts Public Agenda's findings by presenting them in a biased context and tone." In particular, the pollsters charge that PROMO downplayed the extent to which respondents' fear of crime was based on the experience of crime--53 percent of those polled had said that they or someone they loved had been the victim of a crime. Miller stands by his conclusions and insists that "anyone who reads my overview and their report will see that there is absolutely no disagreement." Girls! Girls! Girls! New York University has filed a lawsuit against the operators of a soft porn Web site. The site purported to display footage, picked up from an "NY University Dorm Cam," of young women dressed in skimpy clothing bearing the NYU insignia cavorting in a room decorated with NYU paraphernalia. The site promises that the women will "romp for your enjoyment in their own dorm room." Visitors to the site have included journalistic bon vivant Anthony Haden-Guest, who noted in a recent "Talk of the Town" piece for The New Yorker that among the "humdrum vulgarities that have become the bread and butter of the Internet," one can cop "a peek at some female NYU students who have wired up their dorm room." But the university's suit refers to the rompers as "alleged NYU co-eds" and assures all concerned that "there is no 'NYU Dorm Cam' installed in any NYU dorm room." The Class System Students at less prestigious British universities will soon be able to take courses with such Oxford and Cambridge luminaries as physicist Steven Hawking, literary critic Terry Eagleton, and paleontologist Richard Dawkins, through a national system of video linkups. The plan has drawn criticism on a number of fronts. Some say it slights the teaching abilities and intellectual talents of professors who don't happen to be world famous but who do a perfectly good job instructing their pupils at places such as Bristol or Newcastle. Others point out that world-class scholars don't always make the best teachers and worry that the videos will pacify the minds of students rather than stimulate them. "It would be like watching television," a professor at Brunel University told the Sunday Times of London, which published a story about the proposal. "You would lose that excitement of a live performance on a stage." Doctor's Fees University of New Orleans historian and best-selling author Stephen Ambrose is credited as a consultant on Stephen Spielberg's World War II epic Saving Private Ryan . But Ambrose did his consulting after the film was completed. According to a story in the New York Observer , Spielberg's people approached Ambrose this past spring and arranged a screening for him. Once he'd seen the film--which he loved--Ambrose signed on for less than $100,000, a pittance by Hollywood standards. The Observer speculates that Spielberg, who seems to have borrowed heavily from Ambrose's books in Ryan , was anxious to avoid another lawsuit like the one that plagued his last movie, the slave trade epic Amistad . (For more on the Amistad flap, see this Slate "Cheat Sheet" on plagiarism.) Bring Me the Head of Saddam Hussein Iraq was Issue 1 as the Sunday pundits readied the country for war against Saddam Hussein. As they did, pundits on both the right (Bill Kristol of ABC's This Week ) and the left (Mara Liasson of Fox News Sunday ) asked why the commander in chief wasn't mobilizing public opinion for the coming clash. No problem, said all the president's persons, who swarmed the weekend shows, conducting well-scripted teach-ins about the dangers posed by Saddam and his biological weapons. Last week's line was that Saddam's quarrel was with the United Nations, not the United States, but this week the emphasis shifted slightly to leave no doubt that the United States will settle the dispute, unilaterally if need be. The talking heads were a-babble with bellicosity. "Form as big a posse as we can," urged Mort Kondracke on The McLaughlin Group . Juan Williams of Fox News Sunday predicted a cruise-missile attack followed by "hand-to-hand combat." "Clearly, we've got to strike the head," said Sam Donaldson on This Week . "[Saddam] must go," said Margaret Carlson on CNN's Capital Gang . "Extend the no-fly zone," said David Gergen. "Tighten the noose." Contemplating Saddam's anthrax-tipped warheads on NBC's Meet the Press , Rush Limbaugh answered his own question when he asked, should we "wait until he does it, or pre-empt it?" Having cast their vote for assassinating Saddam last Sunday, This Week 's Kristol and George Stephanopoulos had no room to escalate. So they offered sober military strategies. "If you go in, it has to be a sustained bombing campaign and that has to be followed up by the threat of ground troops," said Kristol. The silver lining of the coming war, Kristol smiled, was that it, NATO expansion, and the troops in Bosnia would make 1998 a "foreign-policy year." Having declared war, the pundit posse immediately expressed doubt that it could be won. Iraq absorbed 88,000 tons of bombs during the 43 days of the Gulf War without folding or replacing Saddam, noted several pundits, including Tim Russert on NBC's Meet the Press . Saddam's bio-chem arsenal was surely bunkered beyond the reach of U.S. bombs, they concluded. This Week 's George Will pointed out that "it took weeks to find Manuel Noriega" in tiny Panama after the invasion. Gen. Norman Schwarzkopf agreed on Meet the Press that invaders would never apprehend Saddam, but he still insisted that the United States "bomb him into submission." The "end game" of all the dictator's schemes is undermining U.N. authority and "getting the sanctions lifted," Schwarzkopf said. Only by pulverizing Iraq could the United States deny Saddam these diplomatic victories and preserve the United Nations' power to police rogue nations in the future. The only AWOLs in the pundit battalion were Robert Novak on Capital Gang and John McLaughlin, who suggested that we talk the Iraqis into compliance. (They were shouted down.) "Accept Saddam as he is," ventured Novak, and make a deal. "Reintegrate Iraq into the world community," offered McLaughlin, who added that Iraq wasn't the only outsider nation with chemical and biological weapons. National Security Adviser Sandy Berger called Saddam a "weapons of mass destruction repeat-offender." Extending Berger's criminal-justice metaphor, Secretary of Defense William Cohen rejected Iraq's demand that Americans be excluded from the U.N. inspection team. "[Saddam], being a parolee, is not in a position to determine who his parole officer will be." Cohen also played show-and-tell on This Week , holding up a 5-pound bag of Domino's sugar. The same-sized package containing anthrax could kill half of the inhabitants of Washington, D.C., he warned. The pundits tipped their hand on where the debate will go next week when they tried--without much success--to inject Israel into the debate. The Arab League had aligned with Saddam, said Gergen on The McLaughlin Group and others, because it was angry with the United States for the stalled peace process. "All politics is personal" was the commentariat's reading of President Clinton's failure to muster Democratic support for fast-track trade legislation. The defeat was "payback" (Liasson, Limbaugh, and Mark Shields on Capital Gang ) by Old Democrats for New Democrat Clinton's sins of triangulation (the balanced budget, welfare reform, the tax cuts). "They're not scared of him," said Kristol. "It's beyond not being scared of him," shot back This Week co-host Cokie Roberts. "They're mad at him!" Reprising an earlier theme about Iraq, Donaldson criticized the White House for not organizing a "campaign far enough in advance" to pass fast track. Innuendos 97: Fox News' Brit Hume claimed on Fox News Sunday that the "word around town" has it that the Department of Justice--which has failed to nail even one of the million Democrats guilty of campaign-finance violations--is aggressively pursuing its investigation of former Republican National Committee chief Haley Barbour. "It looks terrible," the Fox Washington bureau chief observed, more in anger than in sorrow. Pundit Bites: Last week, President Clinton claimed on Meet the Press that he hasn't eaten at McDonald's since becoming president. Limbaugh countered that Clinton had, in fact, snarfed at Mickey D's in Hawaii. "If he'll [lie] about McDonald's, he'll do it about Iraq," Limbaugh charged. ... Can you bomb a nation into compliance with U.N. resolutions? Yes, said former Secretary of State Lawrence Eagleburger and Maj. Gen. Perry Smith (USAF, Ret.) on Late Edition , citing the Serb surrender to the Dayton peace conference as an example. --Jack Shafer Dan Burton's GET "PUNDIT CENTRAL" BY E-MAIL! For Monday morning delivery of Pundit Central, plus "Today's Papers" (daily) and "International Papers" (Tuesday and Friday), click here. The pundits inflate Rep. Dan Burton's anti-Clintonism to Issue 1. Previously, protestations that Clinton was getting a bum rap were aimed at Kenneth Starr, right-wing money, or Newt Gingrich. But the friction between Burton and, well, just about everybody is now discussed as a Very Serious Issue. Gingrich's continued offensive against the president is Issue 2, and U.S. pressure on Israel is Issue 3. Everyone agrees that further revelations about the Hubbell tapes, coupled with Burton's admission that he's out to get the "scumbag" president, have tainted Burton's investigation. "This is the week Dan Burton imploded," announces Paul Gigot (PBS's NewsHour With Jim Lehrer ). What's more, absent Burton's stupidity, the Hubbell tapes would have been a slam-dunk GOP victory, leading Gigot to charge Burton with "political malpractice." The commentariat enjoys swapping stories about the extent of Burton's lunacy. Al Hunt (CNN's Capital Gang ) hears that Burton's aides wear latex gloves while opening mail, for prophylaxis against left-wingers sending condoms to his office. According to Mark Shields ( NewsHour ), GOP leaders have always known Burton is a genuine nutter--remember that stunt with the rifle and the watermelon?--and therefore the blame must rest on Gingrich's shoulders. The GOP needs to shut Burton up and make the magisterial Henry Hyde, R-Ill., the face of the GOP investigation, advises David Gergen ( The McLaughlin Group ). Robert Novak ( Capital Gang ) reveals that Burton was nearly sent packing by a panicked Gingrich, who was placated when Burton fired David Bossie, a top aide. The conventional explanation for the newly aggressive Gingrich--he has publicly supported Burton and advises GOP colleagues to speak of Clinton's "crimes" rather than of charges--is that he is shoring up support in his political base, the extreme right wing. This may be sound politics, argues George Will (ABC's This Week ), because midterm elections are often decided by political bases. So are presidential primaries, notes Mara Liasson ( Fox News Sunday ). On the other hand, according to Juan Williams ( Fox News Sunday ), "Newt Gingrich is the best fund-raiser the Democrats have ever had." Has Newt tainted himself, la Burton? Almost certainly, answers liberal Shields. He undoubtedly treads on "delicate political territory," euphemizes the conservative Gigot. Bibi Netanyahu's unwillingness to attend Monday's Washington, D.C., negotiations leads some to blame the White House negotiators and others to blame Israeli stubbornness. However, most discussion of the issue centers around Hillary Clinton's publicly revealed support for a Palestinian state. Gigot accuses her of "practicing foreign policy without a license." Bill Kristol ( This Week ) spins the most elaborate explanation: The United States has lost support in the Middle East after the recent Iraq standoff, and the first lady's intentional gaffe is an unofficial way of placating Arab leaders at the expense of Israel. P.S.--I Won't Be Attending Your Funeral, Either: During a rambling discussion of oncology and longevity on This Week , Kristol shares the happy fact that his wife has a centenarian grandmother and a great-grandmother who lived past 100 too. "Having [good] genes is still the way to go!" grins Kristol. "We'll enjoy meeting her second husband," mutters Cokie Roberts. Spin Doctor, Heal Thyself: On Meet the Press (NBC), one former Bush aide jeers that "[Clinton is] trying to do a job in Israel--too bad his wife doesn't agree with him." An unremarkable snipe coming from a noted anti-Clintonite, except that this particular snipe comes from Mary Matalin, who spent a quarter-hour this Sunday sneering at every point offered by her fellow panelist and husband, James Carville. Sample sneer: After admitting that her hubby's strategizing may have kept Clinton from being ridden out of D.C. on a rail, Matalin predicts that "Someday, in the history book, you [Carville] will look back and rue the day that you helped wage this war the way you have." Speak Into the Ear Horn, Boy! Burton, on the ropes after a particularly tough Tony Snow ( Fox News Sunday ) question, retreats with the most transparent wiggle of the weekend. "Beg your pardon?" asks Burton, cupping his ear. Again the question is asked, again Burton feigns deafness: "I ... I ... I'm sorry. I can't hear you." An amused Snow lobs Burton a few softballs--What do you think about China? Who does your transcribing?--which cures Burton's temporary deafness. Wiggle No. 2: The second most transparent wiggle of the weekend belongs to Rep. John Conyers Jr., D-Mich., who appears to defend his request that Attorney General Reno investigate collusion between the Democratic Party's two favorite bogeymen: Dan Burton and Kenneth Starr. Does Conyers have any evidence that could provide cause for investigation, wonders Brit Hume ( Fox News Sunday ). Well, no, that's actually what Reno is supposed to investigate. --Bruce Gottlieb Press on Press GET "PUNDIT CENTRAL" BY E-MAIL! For Monday morning delivery of Pundit Central, plus "Today's Papers" (daily) and "International Papers" (Tuesday and Friday), click here. The commentariat elects itself Issue 1 this Sunday, prompted to self-reflection by a Steven Brill article criticizing Kenneth Starr's media dealings. The upcoming presidential trip to China is Issue 2. Political wrangling surrounding the tobacco bill--Dead? Not dead?--is Issue 3. An admission: Pundit Central, like most viewers, hasn't read Brill's article. The fact that Pundit Central found himself without a clear sense of the article's focus or length after sitting through eight hours of TV commentary is no compliment to the opinion mafia. Al Hunt (CNN's Capital Gang and NBC's Meet the Press ) pronounces it a "brilliant" piece, which analyzes the media's "rush to judgment" during the scandal's first week. Bob Woodward ( Meet the Press ) criticizes its conclusions, but agrees that the 28-page article is a laudable effort to "put the press under a microscope." On Fox News Sunday Tony Snow doesn't want to talk about the press--he believes the "key allegation" is that Starr improperly leaked. Ruth Coniff reads the 54-page article as an argument that "Starr calls up his reporters," and they do his bidding. Brit Hume assures her that the "20-something" page article makes no such claim. Pundit Central went to the Sunday edition of the Paper of Record, which tells him that: 1)Brill's article addresses early press coverage of the scandal; 2)Brill interviewed Starr; 3)Starr admits to meeting with reporters; 4)Starr and Brill disagree over whether such meetings were illegal; and 5)Brill thinks Starr used overeager media to squeeze Lewinsky. Brill himself appeared on several of the shows to discuss Point 4. Clintonians, led by Rahm Emanuel ( Meet the Press ), made appearances to call for an investigation. Juan Williams ( Fox News Sunday ) speaks for many when he argues that the article is "one-sided ... distorted," because it ignores White House behavior. Williams suggests that Brill's article, appearing in the inaugural edition of a magazine Brill publishes, is more publicity stunt than serious journalism. Wolf Blitzer asks CNN's Late Edition pundits about Starr's motives in granting Brill an interview. He's somewhere between naive and idiotic, agree panelists. Several pundits also fret that talk about Starr and the media will obscure the big issue--the president's behavior. Margaret Carlson ( Capital Gang ) thinks Clinton is "being a little bit wussy," on Issue 2, his agreement to visit Tiananmen Square. Other pundits will be satisfied if he uses the occasion to lecture the Chinese about the importance of human rights. Mark Shields (PBS's NewsHour With Jim Lehrer ) thinks our China policy is dictated by commercial, not strategic, interests. Shields and Kate O'Beirne ( Capital Gang ) would like to see America use its economic muscle to force human rights reforms. Paul Gigot ( NewsHour ) shares these goals, but thinks increased trade will prove a more effective strategy. Issue 3, the viability of the long-suffering tobacco bill, confounds everyone. Bill Kristol (ABC's This Week ) is amazed that the GOP is getting away with opposing a tobacco bill. Gwen Ifill ( Washington Week in Review ) reports that Republicans have been emboldened recently by a widely circulated poll about voter attitudes. George Stephanopoulos ( This Week ) quips that voters are "for [the tobacco bill], but don't care about it." Shields notes that the Democrats are in a win-win situation--if the bill dies, the Republicans can be attacked as pro-teen smoking; if it passes, the Democrats can claim credit. In the absence of legitimate campaign issues, he predicts, this could become a relative biggie. Opinions you can carry in your pocket: Add "saves need to follow news" to the list of reasons why one should watch Meet the Press . Host Tim Russert to Woodward: "Where are we in this story [presidential scandal]? What should the public know or think about this story: Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky?" Woodward--understandably flustered by this unenviable task--takes 56 seconds to say, in effect, that l'affaire Lewinsky is but one episode in a larger scandal. It's Sunday, what channel is this? During a rare religious segment on This Week (Southern Baptist convention provides the news peg), Stephanopoulos mentions a biblical passage urging women to submit to their husbands, when George Will jumps in. Will happens to have the Bible with him at the ABC sound stage , and intends to read the scriptural passage in question! Cokie Roberts and Sam Donaldson also quote Scripture during the segment to buttress their arguments, apparently from memory. --Bruce Gottlieb Clinton Shops the U.K. for a Flack GET "INTERNATIONAL PAPERS" BY E-MAIL! For Tuesday and Saturday morning delivery of this column, plus "Today's Papers" (daily), "Pundit Central" (Monday morning), and "Summary Judgment" (Wednesday morning), click here. And if you missed the most recent installments of this column, here they are: posted Friday, Oct. 2, and Tuesday, Sept. 29. In London Monday, the Guardian reported on its front page that President Clinton tried to recruit Britain's best-known spin doctor to help him in his present troubles. It said that the president sought out Tony Blair's aggressive chief press spokesman, Alastair Campbell, after watching him in action on the prime minister's trips to the United States. "He dropped him a note suggesting a transatlantic swap," the paper said. "The tone of Mr. Clinton's note was bantering but Downing Street staffers are adamant the White House was putting out feelers with a view to poaching Mr. Campbell and that the idea ... was given serious consideration." But, the paper said, Campbell had decided, in the words of a Downing Street source, "to stay with his Tony." Also Monday, the Independent of London reported that White House adviser Sidney Blumenthal's claims (in his Starr testimony) that he looked after relations between Clinton and Blair "have not earned him many friends on either side of the Atlantic," because "[t]here are plenty of other officials, like the ambassadors in London and Washington for instance, who think they handle that relationship, and regard Mr. Blumenthal as a nuisance." In India, Sunanda Datta-Ray, a former editor of the Statesman of Calcutta and now an editorial consultant with the Straits Times of Singapore, wrote in the Asian Age that Indians fear the Clinton scandal will "set back their own promised freedom of information bill." In India, he said, "the most innocent trivia provokes official paranoia about security." Smear and blackmail are widespread political weapons in Asia, and "a free flow of information could reduce scope for blackmail," he added. In Canada, the Toronto Globe and Mail ran an op-ed piece by the New York publisher of Harper's magazine, John R. MacArthur, excoriating Howell Raines, the editorial page editor of the New York Times , for setting "some kind of record for sanctimonious nonsense" in his paper's comments on Flytrap. Lamenting "the near total erosion of the distinction between the upmarket dailies and their tabloid print and television inferiors," MacArthur attacked both the Times and the Washington Post for persisting in a "self-righteous persecution of Mr. Clinton and defence of Mr. Starr's vice-squad techniques." The Australian election result was widely welcomed in Australia and abroad for its crushing defeat of Pauline Hanson and her racist One Nation Party. But the Sydney Morning Herald said that the country's re-elected conservative Prime Minister John Howard "must virtually remake himself" and "be entirely more sophisticated in grappling with the changing nature of Australia." Under the headline "Advance Australia Fair," the Straits Times of Singapore said that "the results of Australia's general election bear testimony to the resilience of its national character." The meeting of the Group of Seven largest industrial countries in Washington was criticized in the Financial Times of London for its failure to come up with a detailed plan on the world financial crisis. The summit did not mark "the finest hour of international economic diplomacy," an editorial Monday said. The G7 deputies "must report back with a plan as soon as possible, and certainly before the end of the year": The next scheduled G7 meeting (next spring) is too far away. The Times of India said that the pauperization of various East Asian nations "is belatedly being recognised as a ticking time bomb which may explode, plunging the region into acute political and social chaos," and it criticized conservative policies for dealing with this. There are "serious questions as to whether this epidemic ought to be treated as a global crisis, or on the basis of each nation trying to protect itself even at the cost of others." In Russia, Izvestiya said that the government's latest anti-crisis program will return Russia to the economy of the early 1990s, which was controlled by certain groups and was very unjust. Sevodnya called the program "a weird cross between barracks-style socialism and an inflationary plan" that would result in Russia becoming "a very poor and boring country." Komsomolskaya Pravda quoted Moscow Mayor Yury Luzhkov as saying, in reply to a journalist's question about what he would do to prevent starvation in Moscow, "I will eat less." In Hong Kong, the South China Morning Post carried a report Monday saying that McDonald's staff in the territory are the lowest paid of all business chain employees. On average, a McDonald's worker gets $15.10 HK per hour, compared with $17.80 HK for a "super-value" meal and $6 HK for each Snoopy toy McDonald's sells. A trade unionist member of the Hong Kong government's labor affairs committee has proposed a minimum hourly wage in the territory of $35 HK. In an op-ed article in the Financial Times of London, Professor Robert Reich of Brandeis University, who was secretary of labor in the first Clinton administration, warned Thursday that the world could be facing a rerun of the 1930s. "We are entering a similar era," he wrote. "But we have become so accustomed to the danger of excessive demand that we no longer appreciate the danger of its opposite--inadequate demand. Nor do we feel the urgency of taking pre-emptive action." "A large, unco-ordinated global contraction is under way," he added. "We are experiencing only the beginnings." "Consider the big picture," Reich wrote. "[A]n east Asia of toppling currencies and bank insolvency; rising unemployment in Latin America's largest economy [Brazil] and falling real wages throughout the region; stagnation and unemployment in Europe; a rapidly approaching limit to the capacity of US consumers to take on more debt. As the global economy slows, social unrest threatens." Reich called on central bankers in advanced economies to consider whether it was time to loosen the reins on the money supply. For the United States, he recommended that pending budget surpluses be used for tax cuts and additional spending. On the front page of Wednesday's Le Monde of Paris, the famous French economist and former presidential adviser Jacques Attali said the world was on the edge of an abyss and could plunge into "a planetary recession of which democracy, in several countries, could be the principal victim." The reason, he said, was that society was "ruled by the laws of panic"--"the sheep-like movement in which everybody imitates the madness of everybody else." "In economics, as in psychoanalysis, understanding is the first step towards a cure. ... We must therefore learn to live with panic; that is to say--to use a fashionable Silicon Valley metaphor--learn to 'surf on an avalanche,' " Attali wrote. He listed six other steps for averting disaster: 1) equipping international institutions with the research facilities to stop lying and to tell the truth about the real state of the world economy; 2) taking the worst-affected countries into international trusteeship before financing them; 3) multiplying the fire breaks by sealing off the world's most volatile foreign-exchange markets; 4) taxing international speculation to increase the financial resources of international organizations; 5) taking counter-panic measures by, for example, getting governments around the world to make public international investments to show the global community's confidence in its own long-term future; 6) encouraging in the markets a taste for being different, for "finding it fashionable to be unfashionable," for going against the grain. In La Repubblica of Rome, the columnist Bernardo Valli discussed the prevailing skepticism of American economists and media opinion toward the single European currency, the euro, citing Milton Friedman's prediction that it would fail and Martin Feldstein's (in Foreign Affairs ) that it could lead to bitter conflict in Europe. Valli dwelt, in particular, on American disbelief that a currency managed by a lot of feuding European countries could ever compete, as it was intended to, with the U.S. dollar. "American perplexity over how a politically impotent entity [the European central bank] could govern such an ambitious currency is well founded," he wrote. "The governor of the European bank certainly won't be able to manage relations with the other side of the Atlantic. That task would be far beyond his role. But despite its importance, this subject remains taboo in European capitals, where nobody dares to utter the most relevant but most forbidden word of the moment--the word 'federation.' Chancellor Kohl wouldn't risk saying it in an election year overshadowed by the imminent abandonment of the beloved deutsche mark. Nor would Chirac or Jospin dream of doing so for fear of provoking believers in the nation state. The Americans are (almost) right not to understand." Wednesday, the Independent of London reported what it claimed were exclusive background details to the execution of four Jordanian students in Baghdad last month, which soured relations between Jordan and Iraq. The students' official crime had been smuggling car parts into Iraq, but "their death had nothing to do with their crime," the Independent 's Jerusalem correspondent, Patrick Cockburn, wrote. "It was retaliation for what President Saddam Hussein believed was Jordanian involvement in a conspiracy against him. It followed interception by Iraqi security of a letter from Jordan to Maj.-Gen. Talib al-Sadoun, an Iraqi general, giving details of a plot." Cockburn quoted Gen. Wafiq al-Sammara'i, former head of Iraqi military intelligence now in exile, as saying: "Saddam Hussein thinks the Jordanian government knew about the plot. Therefore he killed the four students to send King Hussein a message." The recipient of the letter, Sadoun, who worked in the headquarters of the ruling Baath party, was executed two weeks ago, Gen. Sammara'i added. Also in London, the Sun , Rupert Murdoch's biggest-selling tabloid newspaper, covered its front page with the headline "Japan Says Sorry to the Sun." Inside, it published what it claimed was "the first article for any newspaper" by Japanese Prime Minister Ryutaro Hashimoto. After extolling Anglo-Japanese friendship and recalling his own childhood membership in the Boy Scout movement ("I still cherish the memory of a simple meal shared with scouts on a cold Welsh shore"), Hashimoto reiterated his recent public apology for Japan's brutal treatment of British prisoners during World War II and promised new reconciliation initiatives. "This will not bring back the dead," he added. "But I hope the British people will see it in the spirit in which it is intended--one of reconciliation and peace and hopes for the future." The Sun , which claims 11 million readers, explained that Hashimoto had written the article to warm up the welcome for Emperor Akihito when he visits Britain in May. And the ploy seems to be working. The notoriously jingoistic Sun , which has never before shown even a hint of friendship toward Japan, published an editorial promising "a new era of better relations between our two countries." The world's press is still far from agreeing on a name for it. "Monicagate" seems to be quite popular, having been used in countries as far apart as India (the Asian Age) and France (Libration). But the Paris evening newspaper France-Soir calls it "Sexgate," and the Italian newspapers have generally plumped for the even more ludicrous "Sexygate." "Zippergate" was taken up by the Irish Sunday Independent . The serious German newspapers, which tend to avoid catch lines anyway, are calling it nothing at all, while the British ones have so far sensibly resisted "gates" of any kind, using straightforward catch lines like "The White House Scandal" or "The Clinton Scandal." But the British Sunday tabloids excelled themselves by managing to demean even a sleazy sex scandal with revolting front-page headlines of which perhaps the worst was in the Sunday People --"I'll Give You My Baby Gravy." Monday was a day on which the European pundits who hadn't yet managed to get their hands on the story rushed to have their belated say, many of them posing as Old World sophisticates bewildered by the simple-minded puritanism of the United States. In La Repubblica of Rome, its main female columnist, Natalia Aspesi, wrote: "Seen from Italy, the drama which is imprisoning Clinton and his loyal wife, which is endangering not only his presidency but even the economy and politics of the United States, if not of the entire planet, appears an amusing, absurd and incomprehensible triviality. Our presidents and prime ministers have never had such problems, partly because they are almost always Christian Democrats, or at any rate very Catholic, at least in words, and partly because they are almost always ugly and old and shadowed by energetic wives who do not permit them any distractions, or they are widowers pledged to chastity." But if they did commit such indiscretions, she added, they would be much more popular. In La Stampa of Turin, Italy, Gabriele Romagnoli wrote that even Houdini couldn't have got himself out of Clinton's mess, because America could not have tolerated the commonplace nature of his offence. "A society based on hypocrisy can forgive the sins which don't belong to it, those which it dreams of committing, but not those which it commits every day," he explained. In the conservative Daily Telegraph of London, Barbara Amiel, the Canadian columnist who is married to the newspaper's Canadian proprietor, Conrad Black, wrote in an op-ed article headlined "Stop this madness" that Clinton was a victim of political correctness. "It has come to this: the natural desire of a young woman for an aggressive, handsome and powerful middle-aged man and the reciprocal pleasure that such a man has in the flattering attention of a pretty young girl--these totally mutual and consensual instincts that are built into the human psyche, whether one likes it or not--have created a tempest in the United States that could lead to a constitutional crisis. Indeed, this natural libidinous reaction could well have a major impact on the lives of Palestinians, Israelis and Iraqis, not to mention the world economy." After saying that "the one great contribution that Clinton could make" would be to "expose the sexual political correctness that distorts our law and our lives," Amiel concluded, "One wonders what Mrs. Clinton is really feeling through all this as she manages Bill's defence team. My own view is that, like Lorena Bobbitt, she is sharpening the knife to remove the one major impediment that stands between her and her shadow presidency." The president's member featured as a subject in numerous tasteless cartoons. One on the front page of Corriere della Sera of Milan showed Bill lying disconsolately in a double bed beside Hillary, who is saying, "So it's the dollar that's dropped, then?" The liberal Guardian of London had a cartoon on its editorial page showing Monica Lewinsky dragging Clinton by his penis off his presidential pedestal into a throng of hysterical, knife-waving enemies. Beside it the paper's editorial--titled "Tell the truth, Hillary"--said the first lady "needs to tell Americans why she is still standing by her man--why the peace and prosperity of the 1990s are an achievement for which he deserves credit. She persuaded her nation why Bill Clinton was fit to be president once before. She needs to do so again. And she cannot afford to fail." In Israel, the daily Ha'aretz reported from Washington Sunday that the Clinton sex scandal might trigger a wave of anti-Semitism in the United States. It quoted an official of the Anti-Defamation League of B'nai B'rith as saying that the fact that the fate of the administration hung on the word of a 24-year-old Jewish woman had already produced accusations of a "Jewish conspiracy" against the American people on Internet sites operated by radical right-wing and white supremacist organizations. Another Israeli daily, Yediot Aharonot , commented, "We used to think, in all good faith, that the fate of the peace process was in the hands of a Jew born in Prague calling herself Madeleine Albright. Apparently it's in the hands of another Jew, Monica Lewinsky, born in Beverly Hills." Monday, Ha'aretz published an op-ed article by Danny Rubinstein, saying, "In the Arab world and among the Palestinians, many people believe that because Monica Lewinsky is Jewish the Washington sex scandal is nothing but another stunt by the Israeli Mossad, intended to distract the attention of the American public and of President Bill Clinton away from the peace process. In East Jerusalem on Saturday you could hear perfectly serious people saying the timing of the new scandal could not possibly be a coincidence. According to that version, the Israelis were alarmed by the possibility the president might take a pro-Palestinian stance, and quickly cooked up the new sex scandal." The daily El Pas of Madrid devoted a whole column to the unpromising scandal of Domingogate--a story from its Washington correspondent about how Monica's mother, Marcia Lewis, had included in the original manuscript of her book The Private Lives of the Three Tenors a passage "imagining" a love affair between her and Plcido Domingo. The tenor had issued a statement admitting to having seen her around the place at the Los Angeles Opera but denying she had even interviewed him for her book--let alone participated with him in an "imagined" romance. The same newspaper had a scoop over the weekend about how Fidel Castro's daughter had applied for asylum in Spain, but was likely to be denied it. If Paula Jones hadn't been made the victim of a White House campaign to destroy her credibility, she would have abandoned her lawsuit against President Clinton last summer and "nobody would ever have heard of Monica Lewinsky," her husband, Steve Jones, told the Daily Telegraph of London. In an interview published Thursday in the conservative paper, Jones said his wife had been under such pressure that she had come "within a whisker" of abandoning the lawsuit. Pressed to accept a financial settlement that would have let the president off without so much as an apology, she is now adamant that Clinton be made to atone for calling her a "pathetic liar." "The only settlement we're going to accept from Bill Clinton is: 'I was wrong. I apologise. I admit that I was in that room with Paula,' " Jones said. "We gave him wiggle room before. We were willing to let him say 'I may have.' But now we've collected a lot more evidence and the days of wiggle room are over. The word 'may' has been stricken. He is going to have to confess to everything on our terms now, or face Paula in court." The interview was conducted at the couple's home in Long Beach, Calif., by Ambrose Evans-Pritchard, who, as a former Washington correspondent of the London Sunday Telegraph , used to work with right-wing American political campaigners--"conspirators," Hillary Clinton would call them--to expose financial and sexual sleaze involving the president. (See Slate 's review of his The Secret Life of Bill Clinton: The Unreported Stories .) Banned from giving interviews by a judicial gag order, Paula Jones was doing "her best to prevent their two young children running amok and raiding the fridge," while her husband spoke on her behalf, Evans-Pritchard wrote. "These people in Washington just don't seem to understand that being called a whore means something, something we can't live with," Steve Jones told him, singling out Clinton lawyer Bob Bennett as the person mainly responsible for bringing disaster on the president. "If it had not been for Bob Bennett coming out on TV and saying that Paula's story was 'tabloid trash for cash' ... this whole thing could have been settled a long time ago with a quiet apology," Steve Jones said. "He chose the wrong girl to pick a fight with, didn't he? And now he's brought the President to the brink of impeachment. If I could give one piece of advice to Bill Clinton, it's get rid of Bob Bennett. Fast." (Jones is not alone in his opinion of Bennett. See this dispatch by Slate 's Jake Weisberg.) Coverage of "Monicagate," "Sexgate," "Sexygate," and (increasingly in Britain) "Fornigate" continued to be enormous in Europe, but much less extensive in the rest of the world. Editorial opinion almost everywhere continued to be dominated by two hopes: 1) that the American president, whatever his mistakes, should complete his term of office and 2) that the crisis should be rapidly resolved. As the headline over an article by the London Guardian's chief pundit, Hugo Young, put it Thursday: "Let's hope the lecher survives." In Nigeria, an editorial in the independent Post Express deplored the way the United States was willing to put its business with Israel and Iraq on hold in order to "explore such inanities as that of a woman [Paula Jones] who is claiming $700,000 or $2 million just because, as she claims, she has intimate knowledge of the president's genitalia." This claim is as "wild as any," the editorial continued, pointing out that a recent survey in Britain showed that even long-married wives were unable to properly identify their husbands' genitalia "under experimental conditions." Incredulous that the "American system" would make "a monumental event" out of Lewinsky's contradictory claims, it concludes, "So far, all the ballyhoo over Bill Clinton's alleged involvement with these women could serve only one purpose. That of reminding us that after winning the cold war, America has lost control. Perhaps the cold war was a symbolic reminder to the world that the preservation of democracy can best come about through the natural conflict of dialectical forces. In the present circumstances, we may have to start thinking in terms of reinventing the Soviet Union. If only to help the Americans get their act together." Quoted in his own newspaper, Corriere della Sera of Milan, Gianni Agnelli, the Italian industrialist, lawyer, and senator, said Clinton's plight reminded him of what Thomas Jefferson had said when he was criticized for having a mistress: "What do they want? A eunuch in the White House?" Agnelli spoke warmly, too, of Hillary Clinton, saying: "I know her well. She is a woman of the first rank. Of great quality. I wouldn't want her against me as a lawyer." In fact, Hillary seems especially popular in Italy. Also in Corriere , columnist Ennio Caretto wrote: "The facts have proved that, among many wrong personal choices made by Clinton, Hillary was the right one. "The Lady Macbeth of Little Rock, as her enemies call her because of her toughness and her imperiousness, has been and still is his inspiration, his ace in the sleeve." Referring to her TV appearances this week, Caretto concluded, "It is certain, in any case, that Hillary, with her dignity and her firmness, under the able management of her dressers--her make-up, her haircut, her outfit, her imperial eagle pin [?] were all new--enchanted a good part of America. If Bill isn't among the best presidents of history, she, on the other hand, is among the best first ladies." Kofi Annan's successful diplomacy in Baghdad failed to convince many newspapers abroad that the threat of war had been lifted, and pressure on the United States to back down continued across Europe and the Middle East. In Iraq itself, Annan's presence did nothing to inhibit the anti-U.S. rhetoric of the government-controlled press. "UNSCOM is not an international commission directed by the United Nations but an American commission directed by U.S. intelligence services whose orders it executes," said the official daily Al Thawra Sunday. Another Iraqi daily, Babel , which is published by Saddam Hussein's son Uday, said there was no difference between "American imperialism" and "German Nazism." It also accused the United States of hijacking the United Nations and "taking for itself rights that the international community has not accorded it." In Europe, anti-U.S. opinion remained strongest in France, where the conservative daily Le Figaro said in a front-page editorial Monday that the U.S. double standard in the Middle East--merciless toward Iraq for breaking international commitments but supine toward Israel when it does the same thing--"was bound to scandalize their Arab allies." At the same time, failure to strike Iraq after weeks of warlike rhetoric could have cost the United States its credibility, Le Figaro said, adding that "by saving himself, Saddam Hussein has also saved Bill Clinton." An opinion poll commissioned by the newspaper showed that 55 percent of French citizens wanted France to remain neutral in any U.S. attack on Iraq, but the same percentage thought that the prime objective of any U.S. strike should be "to eliminate Saddam Hussein." In Israel, the liberal daily Ha'aretz attacked the Israeli government for supplying citizens with gas masks, antibiotics against germ warfare, and various kinds of self-protection advice while at the same time insisting that the risk of an Iraqi attack was remote. In choosing the maximum level of preparedness, it said in an editorial, "the government has dulled the edge of Israel's deterrent capability, has made the possibility of nuclear warfare more tangible, has frightened away tourists, has generated huge expenditures, and has increased doubts as to whether Israel can provide the Jewish people with real security." London's evening paper, the Evening Standard, was outraged by the photographs of Annan shaking hands with Hussein. Under the headline "Repulsive Handshake," it said in an editorial: "It is the business of the U.N. to conduct evenhanded diplomacy. But to exchange public greetings with a mass murderer accords him a legitimacy which should repel most people." The Israeli weekly Jerusalem Report claimed that Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu had recently considered putting into operation a secret plan to murder Hussein that was drawn up, then shelved, in 1991. The German weekly Der Spiegel carried a story to the same effect, while Le Monde of Paris reported Sunday on its front page about another plan to murder a dictator (Hitler)--one for which a 25-year-old Swiss man named Maurice Bavaud was decapitated in Berlin in May 1941. Bavaud's martyrdom had been shrouded in silence by the Swiss authorities during the war, but it was now to be commemorated with a plaque on the house in Neuchtel where he was born. The conservative Jerusalem Post, owned by the Roman Catholic Canadian media mogul Conrad Black, published an opinion piece titled "The Killing Season," which turned out--only at the end--to be about Northern Ireland. Its author, Oxford historian Bernard Wasserstein, fiercely attacked the "mischievous and irresponsible role" of a certain nation's "diaspora" who, "[k]nowing little of the complexities of the conflict, ... project their insecurities, obsessions, and unfulfilled dreams on to the distant national hearth." The Republican-sympathizing Irish News of Belfast led Monday with the news that Sinn Fein "may spurn chance to re-enter peace talks," but the Irish Times of Dublin quoted Sinn Fein President Gerry Adams as saying he was still "totally wedded" to the peace process. The Times of London's main editorial Monday, headlined "Japan in the Dock," congratulated the other participants in the Group of Seven finance ministers' meeting in London over the weekend on the "acrimonious" dressing-down they gave the Japanese representative. If new Finance Minister Hikaru Matsunaga "was shocked by the hostility he encountered in London, that shock should be salutary and has come not a moment too soon," the Times added. All the British press speculated Monday on the reason why the British government had intervened to stop Sean Connery's being awarded a knighthood by the queen: Was it his Scottish nationalism, or was it his attitude on violence toward women? The Sunday Telegraph of London reported that Princess Diana's memorial fund is to open an office in New York because of "the strength of interest from America." The Pioneer of India described the Indian election as "comparatively peaceful," because there were only 11 dead in Bihar, six in Andhra Pradesh, three in West Bengal, and one in Orissa. But in an editorial it deplored the fact that "whether it is enlisting the services of goons ... or terrorising innocent citizens with guns, all methods are deemed to be good as long as, in the perception of the candidate, they lead to his victory." U.N. Secretary-General Kofi Annan told Milan's Corriere della Sera Sunday that he knew he was close to an agreement with Saddam Hussein in Baghdad when the Iraqi leader asked him if he could leave the room for a few moments to pray ("I knew that the pope was also praying for peace, and with such support, how could I fail?"). Annan said he believes the agreement will hold because--as has never happened before--it was negotiated in person by Saddam; he also said Bill Clinton had shown "a great capacity for leadership" in the Iraqi crisis by uniting diplomacy with a show of force. Other Italian Sunday newspapers led on the protest march in Rome Saturday by 15,000 people with white sheets over their heads demanding access to a new cancer treatment that the Italian government has been trying to suppress pending the outcome of clinical trials. The marchers barracked the office of Prime Minister Romano Prodi, who refused to come out because he was with U.S. Secretary of State Madeleine Albright, who reportedly was ticking him off for not being tough enough on the Serbs on the Kosovo issue (see Slate 's "The Week/The Spin" for more on the situation in Kosovo). The cocktail of untested cancer drugs prescribed by Professor Luigi di Bella of Modena has aroused huge popular enthusiasm in Italy--a fact attributed by Eugenio Scalfari, founding editor of La Repubblica of Rome, to the Italian people's unique faith in miracles. One miracle in which Italians don't believe, however, is that men will change their ways. An opinion poll published over the weekend showed that 71 percent of Italian women support the legalization of brothels. In an editorial Sunday, La Repubblica called for open discussion of the prostitution problem and did its bit for the cause the next day by devoting two richly illustrated pages to the subject. Also Sunday, La Repubblica ran an editorial supporting President Clinton's anti-smoking crusade, which it said had replaced Iraq as the chief diversion from the Monica Lewinsky scandal. The paper expressed surprise that Clinton's attacks on smoking were treated as remote and irrelevant in Europe--especially in Italy--when tobacco was in fact the biggest killer in most countries of the world. "We import from the States so many useless fashions, horrible films, and suspect religions," it said. "So why can't we pay more attention to a war that, in this instance, actually is 'just'?" The other big Italian news story over the weekend was the life sentences imposed by the Italian military court of appeals on 84-year-old former Nazi Erich Priebke and his SS henchman Karl Hass for the massacre of 335 civilians at the Fosse Ardeatine caves outside Rome in March 1944. La Repubblica welcomed the sentences for "conciliating the law of men with that of memory and conscience" but reported Monday that they had divided Italian Jews. Leaders of the Roman Jewish community, the largest and oldest in the country, formally dissociated themselves from the president of "the Italian Israelitic Communities," Tullia Zevi, who had called for clemency saying that "nobody wants an 80-year-old to end his days in prison." On the same day the British Sunday Telegraph led with the news that the World Health Organization, recently accused of suppressing a report showing that cannabis isn't as dangerous as tobacco or alcohol, had now suppressed "a study which shows ... not only [that] there might be no link between passive smoking and lung cancer but that it could even have a protective effect." The next day the liberal Guardian claimed in its front page lead story that this was nonsense put out by the British American Tobacco Co. It said BAT had deliberately drawn the wrong conclusions from the study, which had not been held up by WHO but had been submitted to the journal of the National Cancer Institute in the United States. The Times and the Daily Telegraph of London both led Monday with stories about plans for the downgrading of the British royal family in response to pressure for constitutional reform--the Times saying that Prince William would lose his seat in the House of Lords and the Telegraph that minor royals would lose their police escorts. The queen had already been reported in British newspapers as preparing to 1) end bowing and curtsying and 2) cut down on the number of "royal highnesses" in her family. The French press led mainly on the implication of former Foreign Minister Roland Dumas (now president of the Constitutional Council) in an alleged corruption scandal that has to do with the sale of French frigates to Taiwan. The German press focused on the German Green Party, whose radicalization might make a political alliance with moderate Social Democrat Gerhard Schrder that much harder. (Schrder is challenging Helmut Kohl for the chancellorship in September's election.) This was seen as giving Kohl a better chance of victory. The liberal Israeli newspaper Ha'aretz said in a gloomy editorial Monday that there was "a chilling sense these days of sights and sounds from the period of impervious apathy which preceded the 1973 war." It accused Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu of achieving nothing during his four-nation European tour. "The four-point plan which he hurriedly submitted yesterday to the prime minister of Britain only recycles his futile proposals," Ha'aretz said. The conservative Jerusalem Post led on Netanyahu's rejection of Tony Blair's request for a halt in West Bank settlement activity. In an editorial, it urged the United States to back Netanyahu's proposal for a summit with Yasser Arafat, who, it claimed, was now responsible for the stalemate in the peace process. In Saudi Arabia, Asharq Al-Awsat said Arab countries were facing a very grave crisis with unforeseeable consequences because of the fall in the price of oil. This would be "a very difficult year for the economies of all Arab countries," it said, adding, "The risk is a repeat of the scenario of the second half of the 1980s, which, in the case of Algeria, resulted in a bloody and unstoppable civil war." The St. Petersburg Times of Russia reported plans by left-wing groups to disrupt the planned summer burial of the remains--of Czar Nicholas II; his wife, Alexandra; three of their five children; and four of their servants--discovered near Yekaterinburg in 1991. Despite continuing argument about the authenticity of the remains, the government had made "a final decision" to have a state funeral (complete with a military guard saluting the cortege along its route) in St. Petersburg July 17. While the federal government will foot most of the bill for the funeral, "the city will have to cover costs for paving roads and painting houses," the newspaper said. In Ghana, where President Clinton stopped Monday at the start of his six nation African tour, the Daily Graphic called this maiden visit to the country by a U.S. president "a victory for all Ghanaians, irrespective of political belief and social status or other criteria." Urging "all our people to take active and positive part in welcoming our august visitor," it boasted that the Clinton administration had acknowledged the country's "remarkable achievements" in embracing democracy and free market economics. In Nigeria, shunned by Clinton because of its military dictatorship and human rights record, the independent daily Post Express, which opposes the dictatorship, reported an attack on the United States by a special adviser to head of state Gen. Sani Abacha. In his statement titled "No to Coercive Democracy," Alhaji Wada Nas condemned Susan Rice, U.S. assistant secretary of state for African affairs, for saying the United States would not accept the emergence of any military official as Nigerian president in forthcoming elections. He said that if Abacha were to contest the elections, "he would not be violating any known Nigerian law or international norm." Nigeria, he said, "needs no country to rewrite its laws or disenfranchise its military men as second class citizens." In an editorial welcoming Pope John Paul II to Nigeria, the Post Express urged the pontiff "to plead the cause of political and other detainees," which he duly did. In Uganda, the U.S. president's second stop, the daily New Vision reported on a government news conference before the visit, at which the Ugandan Minister for Presidential Affairs Amama Mbabazi was asked if opposition leaders would meet Clinton. "Not likely," the minister replied. "They did not contact us." In South Africa, the Johannesburg Star told Clinton in an editorial Monday that he would be confronted in Uganda with "a bizarre no-party system of government that outlaws political activities and stifles human rights." It added, "Although the US was the first Western country to criticise the system, warning of far-reaching regional and international consequences, the warmth demonstrated by Washington over the past few years shows considerable tolerance." In London, the Financial Times ran an editorial urging Clinton to offer "greater US support for the World Bank-led initiative to reduce the debt of the poorest countries, and backing for African governments' plans to put the money into health and education." But it also urged him to do "some frank talking" to African leaders about reducing bureaucracy, curbing corruption, and expanding privatization. In Paris, Le Monde devoted a full page Sunday to background on the president's African tour, with an article from Abidjan, Ivory Coast, on weak U.S. investment--compared with French, Japanese, British, and Swiss investment--in West Africa. It said the limited U.S. presence "is explained above all by ignorance" (U.S. businessmen assume--wrongly--that all countries in the region are as uninhabitable as Nigeria). La Stampa of Turin, Italy, gave the president's African tour one paragraph on Page 9 under the headline "Clinton in Africa to forget Sexygate." The French press was dominated by the political pact between part of the country's respectable political right and the racist National Front of Jean-Marie Le Pen, which could make Le Pen president of Southern France's largest region, Provence-Alpes-Cte d'Azur. This was deplored in Le Monde and Libration but even more strongly in the liberal press in Britain, where the Sunday Observer called it "a pact with the Devil" and a "grave danger to democracy." In similar vein, the Independent said, "It is a decision of great moment not just for France but for the whole of Europe because whatever they decide, the situation is a warning of the sinister forces which stand ready to exploit arrogant, bureaucratic and remote European institutions in bad economic times." Dublin's Sunday Independent published a full-page farewell profile of U.S. Ambassador Jean Kennedy Smith, who has announced she will retire in July at age 70. Under the headline "A very Irish ambassador," the newspaper said that, despite her hotline to the White House and her friendship with the leaders of Sinn Fein, she had not been central to the launching of the peace process in Northern Ireland but had been used "to take the flak," while Clinton, Anthony Lake, Nancy Soderberg, and Ulster Social Democrat leader John Hume "worked away quietly" behind the scenes. "She was always something of a loose cannon, not much given to bureaucratic niceties or diplomatic protocols," the newspaper added. On their front pages, the Daily Telegraph of London and La Repubblica of Rome reported respectively that the nightingale in Britain and the swallow in Italy are heading toward extinction. El Pas of Madrid, Spain, called for U.N.-style international intervention in natural disasters such as the Amazon forest fires. Le Figaro of Paris highlighted the world's growing water crisis, saying the number of people without enough water to drink will rise from the current 1.5 billion to 2 billion in the year 2050. It reported French President Jacques Chirac's proposal at a UNESCO conference in Paris for the establishment of an international water academy. Oslo Moves to London GET "INTERNATIONAL PAPERS" BY E-MAIL! For Tuesday and Friday morning delivery of this column, plus "Today's Papers" (daily), "Pundit Central" (Monday morning), and "Summary Judgment" (Wednesday morning), click here. Under the headline "UK to host May peace parley," the conservative Jerusalem Post splashed the news Monday that there would definitely be a new round of Middle East peace talks in London next month, hosted by British prime minister Tony Blair and attended by Benjamin Netanyahu, Yasser Arafat, and Madeleine Albright. The Post attributed this information to a "senior diplomatic source." But the prestigious Israeli daily Ha'aretz was much more cautious, with a front-page headline saying only that "Blair makes some headway in brokering peace get-together." While several of the main British newspapers led Monday with the possibility of a London meeting, none of them took it as a done deal. The conservative Daily Telegraph said in an editorial that while Blair might have a useful role in preparing the ground for a new U.S. diplomatic effort, "anything more ambitious is pure presumption." Although Blair was described in the headline of a Jerusalem Post editorial as a "most welcome visitor" to Israel, the paper said the idea "that the Stormont wizard can perform another miracle in the Holy Land is nice, but somewhat unreal." He might, however, be "the right person to talk bluntly to Arafat about terrorism," the Post said. "If he were to do so, and communicate this message to the Israeli public, he would justify his newly-acquired prominence in world politics and facilitate a useful European participation in the peace process." In another editorial marking the arrival in Israel of U.S. Defense Secretary William Cohen, the Jerusalem Post urged President Clinton to follow the example of "gutsy" King Hussein of Jordan and meet with Ahmed Chalabi, the leader of Iraq's democratic opposition. The Post said it was "difficult to fathom why the US seems slavishly attached to a policy [toward Iraq], built upon 'containment' and UN inspections, that is doomed to failure," when it should be supporting this "viable democratic alternative to Saddam" as "a strategic and moral imperative." An op-ed piece in Ha'aretz by Sharon Sadeh said Blair "might well serve as an efficient channel for the conduct of secret talks, particularly with the Palestinians and the Syrians, who view Britain as a fairer and more balanced intermediary than the United States." But it is unlikely Blair can restore Israel's confidence in a British role in the peace process, Shadeh said, because he is a prisoner of the anti-Israeli British Foreign Office. The main editorial in Ha'aretz concerned an international campaign to obtain the early release of Israel's Mordechai Vanunu, who was kidnapped by Mossad in Italy 12 years ago, taken back to Israel, and given an 18-year prison sentence for having revealed his country's nuclear secrets. The paper said Israel could not "act permissively toward those who are entrusted with its deepest secrets and then decide to breach their commitment," but it deplored the fact that Vanunu has been held in strict solitary confinement for the past 12 years on the insistence of Israeli security services. "The impression is that the security masters were not content with Vanunu's punishment and sought in addition to drive him insane," the paper said. In Hong Kong, the South China Morning Post ran an editorial congratulating Clinton for his role in China's decision to send Tiananmen Square hero Wang Dan into exile in the United States. It described this as a victory for Clinton's change of policy a few years ago, when he decided to engage in dialogue with the Chinese government over human rights rather than link the issue to Most Favored Nation trading status. The paper said it was now clear "Beijing is moving in the right direction." It added that the human rights situation is likely to go on improving under new Prime Minister Zhu Rongji, who sees it as "an embarrassing legacy from a less open past which sits ill with his determined policy of engaging China with the world." But in a news report, the SCMP quoted several Hong Kong opposition leaders as attacking China for using Wang Dan as a pawn in Sino-American relations. Hong Kong dissident Han Dongfang said exile was used by China as an effective way to eliminate internal dissent. In continuing heavy coverage of the death of Pol Pot and its aftermath, the SCMP revealed that the widow of this man who had crushed all religions and murdered thousands of Buddhist monks and nuns had held a private Buddhist ceremony in front of his corpse one hour before his cremation. It also claimed that Thai soldiers who removed locks of hair from his head had been acting at the request of the U.S. government. In Rome, La Repubblica disclosed on its front page that Pope John Paul II is secretly completing a new encyclical for the third millennium. It said the encyclical, the 13 th of his pontificate, will set out the church's thinking on the future of mankind, expressing fears about modern materialism and urging people to look into the real meaning of life. The same newspaper reported that among 30,000 people who visited the Turin Shroud in the cathedral in that north Italian city Sunday was the American tennis star Andr Agassi, who arrived there from Monte Carlo in a pale blue Rolls Royce, declaring himself to be "a deep believer." Le Monde of Paris ran a front-page feature titled "Bill Clinton, the 'Teflon President,' " attempting to explain why the president remains so popular despite all the bimbo eruptions. It said he was benefiting not only from a national "state of euphoria" about peace and the economy but also from the fact that "Americans are more European than is generally believed in their reactions to sexual matters." In another front-page piece, Le Monde reported that Brigitte Bardot has joined the ranks of Serb nationalist supporters in France who deny the crimes committed by the Bosnian Serbs and portray them as victims of "a vast American-German-Vatican-Islamic coalition." In an interview published in a new pro-Serb tract, "Allies of the Serbs," the former sex kitten turned animal liberationist said she supports the Serbs against the Muslims because the latter "are overrunning the world, and their animal slaughter practices are an abomination against which I fight every day." Bardot added she hopes one day to visit Serbia, "simply, without tralala." The death Sunday of another animal liberationist, Linda McCartney, who even created a vegetarian dog food line, was massively reported in papers all around the world. Their Way GET "INTERNATIONAL PAPERS" BY E-MAIL! For Tuesday and Friday morning delivery of this column, plus "Today's Papers" (daily), "Pundit Central" (Monday morning), and "Summary Judgment" (Wednesday morning), click here. The Hindu of India caught up Monday with the death of Frank Sinatra, devoting an editorial to the subject. "He combined distinctive phrasing, punctuated pauses and delicate emotional overtones to create songs that were at once mechanical in their precision and dream-like in their effect," the newspaper said. "Unruffled and self-assured in its confidence, his was a voice that seemed to comprehend the rhapsody of romance, the obscure logic of love." The only negative thing the Hindu had to say about the great Sinatra was that "My Way" was "one of his less memorable songs." This tribute to a great American was especially welcome in a week in which the Indian media were not feeling well-disposed toward the United States. The Times of India said in an editorial Monday that the United States, the "world's self-professed conscience keeper which claims to be committed to non-proliferation of nuclear and missile technology," has turned a blind eye to the fact that Beijing has long been arming Pakistan with conventional weapons as well as "nuclear and missile technology while issuing public denials and pledging itself to improving relations with New Delhi." Despite this, "Washington actually approved the first export of advanced nuclear reactor technology to China after obtaining assurances that Beijing would limit its arms exports to Teheran (but not Islamabad)," the newspaper said. The Asian Age of New Delhi said that "Pakistan is in a dilemma: to test or not to test," because (contrary to Pakistan's claims) it "definitely does not have the capacity" to make a hydrogen bomb. "If Pakistan tests without matching India's performance, Prime Minister [Nawaz] Sharif will face the brunt of his electorate's disillusionment and wrath," the paper said in an editorial. "If it does not test, the government might find it difficult to survive against the strong public reaction." On the other hand, if it does test, "Bill Clinton will probably take it as a personal affront" and impose sanctions that would "certainly" cause the country to collapse. "The way out for Pakistan at the moment lies in a dignified exit from the nuclear arms race," the Asian Age said. Dawn, Pakistan's main English-language newspaper, devoted an editorial Monday not to the mounting U.S. pressure on Islamabad to drop its plans but to an attack on U.S. policy in the Middle East. "There seems to be no end to the Americans' theatre of the absurd over the Middle East peace process," the editorial said. It accused Clinton of indifference to the Palestinians' plight and of weakness toward the Israeli government. "Israel needs more than mere arm-twisting from America," it said. "It must put Mr. Netanyahu on notice to come round to the negotiating table by a fixed deadline. Mr. Clinton certainly has the clout to be able to do that." Claiming that American Jewish leaders were becoming exasperated with Israel, Dawn suggested that "the big, bad wolf, of which the U.S. President appears to be mortally afraid while dealing with Mr. Netanyahu, exists, perhaps, only in his mind." In Hong Kong, the South China Morning Post devoted its main editorial to an attack on the International Monetary Fund for its handling of the economic crisis in Indonesia. If the banks reopen in Jakarta, it said, "then at least the International Monetary Fund will be physically able to hand over the next tranche of its bailout package." While admitting "the problem is primarily political and the IMF can hardly be blamed for Mr. Suharto's mismanagement," the newspaper said that "it will now be difficult to rebut the increasing perception that the IMF has failed in Asia." Although the "U.S. continued to loyally defend the IMF yesterday, it is probably only a matter of time before other Western nations, such as Australia, break ranks and push for alternative remedies," it added. "In any event, even the IMF can hardly describe as a success a program that is partly responsible for such bloodshed and one which cannot even now be implemented." In a front-page news analysis of the Group of Eight summit in Birmingham, England, this weekend, Alan Friedman of the International Herald Tribune in Paris wrote that the meeting served merely to "highlight the limits of power in an increasingly complex world." On issues such as India's nuclear testing, the prospect of Pakistan's carrying out its own tests, and Indonesia's descent into anarchy, participants were "either divided or unable to offer much beyond rhetoric," Friedman wrote. "Moreover, both India and Pakistan remained oblivious to it." The news that the U.S. government was launching a legal battle against Microsoft led the Financial Times of London Monday and was on the front pages of most European newspapers. Drawing upon her rich experience of life, Prudence (Prudie to her friends) responds to questions about manners, personal relations, politics, and other subjects. Please send your questions for publication to prudence@slate.com. Queries should not exceed 200 words in length. Please indicate how you wish your letter to be signed, preferably including your location. Dear Prudie, Larry is an exceedingly good friend, and when he comes to my city on business it's understood that I am delighted to take him out on the town, put him up in my guest room, etc. Ditto for when I'm in his city. As we're both computer geeks, when we happen to be going to the same trade show or conference, night life plans and party invites for me automatically include Larry--and vice versa. Enter The Problem in the form of Moe, a common acquaintance of Larry's and mine who sometimes attends the same conferences. Moe simply invites himself along to everything Larry and I do for the whole week. If he gets wind of our plans, he'll turn up to meet us. If he hasn't overheard anything, he'll simply tag along with one of us all day until lunch or dinner or whatever. We have attempted to gently give Moe the message that he's not welcome unless invited, but it just bounces off Moe's tact-proof armor. Prudie, HELP. Moe's not a jerk, he's just clueless, and Larry and I are agreed that we'd just like the freakin' option of him not joining us. We'd like to achieve this without actually being forced to tell him to **** off, but we're nearing our rope's end. --Shemp in Seattle Dear Shemp, Prudie deplores the density of your cyberclod friend and sees no reason for you and Larry to have to be stealth geeks. Since you've tried tact, you must now be direct with this judgment-free fellow. Simply tell him you hate like hell to hurt his feelings, but you and Larry use these gatherings to catch up, and a third party simply changes the dynamic. (It is, alas, poor manners to ever tell anyone to **** off.) You must be benevolent despots, lest you find yourself manipulated by someone with the hide of a rhinoceros. Gird your loins, make your statement, and brook no further discussion ... roger and out. --Prudie, determinedly Dear Prudence, We are often invited to parties and dinners at some really splendid homes owned by wealthy acquaintances and clients of both my husband and me. Should we invite these young wealthies back to our comparatively humble, small home? They know we are not in their league financially, but we feel a little sheepish inviting them to view our worn upholstery and carpets. We wonder if they, too, would feel uncomfortable with our differences made so plainly apparent. Should we just muster our courage and invite them over, or should we invite them for dinner/drinks at a restaurant? Would this seem impersonal and contrived? --Stuck in the Middle Class, Toronto Dear Stuck, It has been Prudie's experience that, when invited to a simple home, she has often been impressed. The hosts in such a situation usually are genuine, confident, and wise people: genuine because they are who they are, confident because they know where the real values lie, and wise because they understand that putting on the dog is pointless. People of quality do not choose friends on the basis of their possessions. Restaurant entertaining is becoming fashionable, however, and Prudie would recommend that for you if that choice would not come from shame, and if you would have a better evening yourselves. --Prudie, entertainingly Dear Prudie, I am a young woman who has made the unfortunate mistake of falling in love with my friend. I say "unfortunate" because he happens to be gay. We both graduated together with the same major: art history. I have admired his intelligence and sensitivity for a long time. If it was not for him, I am sure I wouldn't have done nearly as well in my studies. But I did not expect to become romantically involved! He has asked me to go to Europe with him, and I do not know what to do about it. If I tell him how I really feel, I fear he will want to end everything. And yet, the longer I am with him the worse it gets and the harder it becomes to hide my true feelings. Should I go to Europe? I would rather be with him than nothing at all. Thank you. --Confused Dear Con, Ah yes, the old story of a woman falling for one of nature's bachelors. If it's any consolation to you, this occurrence is not all that rare. In fact, Prudie cast her eye in that direction while in college (when ice covered the earth). It is a truism that, straight or gay, certain people are going to have electricity for certain other people. Occasionally, a homosexual person will experiment in the other arena. Prudie can think of two show business examples (one British and dead, the other American and living). Both these gay men gave a romantic whirl to their leading ladies, though the relationships were short-lived. As a general rule, sexuality is hard-wired and that's that. Prudie feels it important to point out that when you write you are "romantically involved," it is only you experiencing the romance or the involvement. Prudie believes in the interest of your mental health that you confess your feelings, thereby relieving yourself of the stress and pain of a fantasy love affair. When you 'fess up (and your friend may already have figured things out), you might ask if there is any reciprocal inclination. If not, your cards will be on the table and together you can decide if the friendship continues, platonically, or if it seems best to put things on ice. You need a resolution, and better sooner than later. --Prudie, resolutely Dear Prudence, This guy I met--but never dated--at work left for the West Coast about five months ago. When he was preparing to leave, I wrote him a letter explaining my unease about his departure, because I felt we had somehow missed our chance at what could have been a real relationship. I wrote it in the summer, and I still have it. (Never mailed it.) Without my explaining how or why I feel the "loss" more now than ever. Can you tell me whether I should mail the letter? I'll spare you the more complicated question of the mystical power of love. --xxxooo-nyc Dear xxx, Interesting that you wrote the letter but kept it. Now that almost half a year has past, Prudie suggests a compromise. Send the object of your affections a letter--but a different one, a new one. Write to say that you've become aware of missing his presence and wonder how things are going on the left coast. If he answers, and if the answer is at all responsive, keep the correspondence going. If things start to look promising, Prudie suggests you find it suddenly necessary to visit your favorite aunt/college roommate/former dog trainer, anybody in the city wherein the correspondent resides. --Prudie, plottingly When Irish Eyes Are Smiling GET "INTERNATIONAL PAPERS" BY E-MAIL! For Tuesday and Saturday morning delivery of this column, plus "Today's Papers" (daily), "Pundit Central" (Monday morning), and "Summary Judgment" (Wednesday morning), click here. The Irish press gave an unqualified welcome to President Clinton Thursday. Editorials dwelt not on his personal troubles but on his contribution to peace in Ulster. In the Republic of Ireland, the Irish Independent called Clinton "an invaluable friend of Ireland" and said that foolishness in his personal life "does not justify the persecution to which he has been subjected," nor take away from his achievements as president. "Among these, his role in Irish affairs ranks high," it said. "His interest in Ireland is not sentimental, or designed merely to attract Irish-American votes and the friendship of Irish-American leaders. It is intelligent, well-informed--and fruitful." The first lady, who was described in the main front-page headline as "radiant," received high praise from conservative Catholic columnist Mary Kenny, who said that the president "would probably fully agree that in terms of strength of character, Hillary is the better of the two." In the Irish Times, republican Catholic columnist Mary Holland wrote that even before the president's arrival in Ulster, his "visit to Ireland has had a dramatic effect." Saying she shared "the sense of disappointment and bewilderment" over the Lewinsky affair and the bombings in Sudan and Afghanistan, Holland said she also believed "there are very many people alive in Ireland, and further afield, today who would be dead were it not for President Clinton's commitment to the search for peace in Northern Ireland." In the North, the Protestant Belfast Telegraph said that "the mere fact of his presence ... has achieved more progress in the last two days than in the previous two months, since the June election." The Catholic Ulster paper Irish News said in its main front-page headline, "Clinton flies in with a brave message of hope." The Moscow summit received less enthusiastic press around the world, though the daily Novye Isvestiya said that although "Clinton did not have much space for maneuvering between support of Yeltsin and instructing potential Russian presidential candidates," everything that he did in Moscow was "correct." Nezavisimaya Gazeta , a paper controlled by financial magnate Boris Berezovsky, reported that the Moscow Institute of Economic Analysis would show, in research to be published Friday, that Russia faces inevitable bankruptcy and that, by the end of the year at the latest, it will have to admit it can't make payments on its foreign debts. India strongly criticized the summit because of Clinton's request that Russia sever its defense links with the country. The Times of India said that New Delhi need not take this too seriously, because it is "just one of several banana skins the US leader dropped and stepped on in Moscow." The Hindu said, "Mr. Clinton is not known for his adherence to commonly accepted norms of behaviour, either in his personal conduct or in terms of international policy," noting that "nothing was right about the summit, least of all its timing." In Italy, Corriere della Sera ran an interview Thursday with former Soviet leader Mikhail Gorbachev, who, asked if the West had made mistakes in its behavior toward post-Communist Russia, said it had made several: regarding Yeltsin as the sole guarantor of Russian democracy, trying to impose economic policies that were completely unsuited to Russia, and closing both eyes to the corruption of the system. "I sometimes think that the West prefers a Russia that is weak and half-wrecked--not actually in pieces but nevertheless not in a state to raise its head," Gorbachev said. In Japan, Mainichi Shimbun predicted "significant repercussions" for North Korea's firing of a long-range ballistic missile over Japan last Monday. It criticized the Japanese government for its slow response and its delayed release of information to the Japanese people. "In cooperation with the United States, South Korea and other concerned parties, the Japanese government must adopt a resolute posture toward North Korea while demanding that it terminate its ballistic missile program," the paper concluded. Japan's biggest paper, Asahi Shimbun, published an article Thursday by Tetsuo Maeda, an arms control expert and professor at Tokyo International University, saying that the U.S. missile attacks on Islamic terrorist targets have expanded the definition of war. They will "be remembered as the first case in which a permanent member of the U.N. Security Council, which has special responsibilities for the maintenance of 'international peace and security,' has openly applied the 'state's right of self-defense' to irregular fighters," Maeda said. "Terrorists are criminals and should be treated as such. However, they should not be punished without due process in the name of 'national security' or 'protection of citizens' lives.' In light of U.S. history, such punishment is virtually a return to the lynching that was practised during the frontier development period." Asahi Shimbun also reported that the Japanese National Personnel Authority is drawing up regulations to try to stamp out sexual harassment based on a new report defining what kind of behavior is "inappropriate." It said, "Such behavior ranges from demanding sex from co-workers to forcing female office staff to serve tea or to clean the workplace." Ogling colleagues or forcing female employees to sit beside their bosses at social events is also unacceptable. "[W]omen mocking men by calling into question their masculinity is also classified as sexual harassment," the paper added. Monica: The First Interview GET "INTERNATIONAL PAPERS" BY E-MAIL! For Tuesday and Saturday morning delivery of this column, plus "Today's Papers" (daily), "Pundit Central" (Monday morning), and "Summary Judgment" (Wednesday morning), click here. And if you missed the most recent installments of this column, here they are: posted Tuesday, Sept. 22 and Friday, Sept. 18. A Yugoslav paper claims to have talked to Monica Lewinsky on the telephone. According to a report from Belgrade Thursday in La Stampa of Turin, the weekly Nedjeljni Telegraf got in touch with Monica's mother, Marcia Lewis, through an ex-hairdresser of hers, Bozdimir Bulent, a Yugoslav immigrant living in Washington, D.C. The paper called from Belgrade continually for a week before Lewis finally allowed it to talk to her daughter. The clinching factor, La Stampa said, was the mention of a mysterious Yugoslav by the name of Dusko with whom Lewis had allegedly fallen in love 20 years ago in Los Angeles. Softened by thoughts of Dusko, she gave in and arranged for Nedjeljni Telegraf to call Monica direct. This is how the interview reportedly went. Answering the phone "in a rather hoarse and velvety voice," Monica said: "I was expecting your call. My mother mentioned it. I sincerely hope you won't make bad use of it." Asked if she had ever imagined she might be the talk of the whole world, she replied, "Not even in my dreams, and I'm not at all happy about it." Did she love the president? "Perhaps, but now it's of no importance." Did she feel exploited? "In a certain sense, yes; I never expected all this." Would money and fame change her life? "I don't think about such things. Money has never been important to me." Monica said she now spends most of her time on the telephone and almost never watches television. Asked if she had a message for the readers of the Nedjeljni Telegraf , she said, "They shouldn't believe everything they read in the papers." But when the weekly asked if, during her meetings with President Clinton, he had ever mentioned Serbia, Monica decided she had had enough and put down the phone. ( La Stampa failed to vouch for the authenticity of this interview.) In the continuing flood of international press comment on the White House scandal, there is very little favorable to Kenneth Starr. But Nigeria's independent Post Express said in an editorial Wednesday, "The fact that Monica Lewinsky, a mere intern, could be protected by the State against such a mighty opponent as the most powerful politician in the world, reveals the beauty and the costliness of democracy. It is significant to note that even at the possible cost of the presidency, the right to fair hearing and enabling unconcealed information to the citizenry [ sic ] have been remarkably upheld in this case. It is best imagined what would have happened to Lewinsky, her family and any enthusiastic reporting press of this scandalous episode in any undemocratic society!" In Canada, the Toronto Globe and Mail said in an editorial Thursday that it is time for America's "pundits, pollsters and prognosticators" to take a vacation, because "[i]f Americans are tired of hearing about President Bill Clinton's sexual life, they are doubtlessly doubly weary of hearing 'experts' tell them how they feel about the whole thing." The theme of the editorial was the distinction that should be made between feelings and deeds. The endless "mood monitoring" of the people and their president has revealed a "swirl of conflicting feelings," but the end product is the "[s]ame as it was when the whole thing started: Mr. Clinton remains the President and the citizens remain guardedly content to keep him there." "Americans may be experiencing all kinds of feelings about their President, but they are remarkably consistent when they are asked what they want to do about those emotions," the Globe and Mail went on. "Impeachment? No, a majority of the US public has answered, from the start to the finish of this story." It is the ability of the American public to distinguish between feelings and deeds that will save Clinton, it said. "They show no interest in punishing him for his private feelings but a clear desire to see him pay a limited price for his deeds. ... Americans have clearly stated that feelings aren't the issue here. Sooner or later, the pollsters and the pundits will understand that too." In South Africa, the Johannesburg Star ran a eulogistic editorial Thursday about President Nelson Mandela's visit to the United States. "He fired the pride of African Americans and touched a deep desire in the psyche of Americans, both black and white, for a leader who might rekindle the bi-racial coalition that destroyed their country's own version of apartheid in the 1960s, the racism they are still fighting to eradicate today, and the never-ending scandals. ... Mandela may lack the rousing American oratory of a President Kennedy, Martin Luther King or Jesse Jackson, but his manner and his unflappable dignity show him as a disciplined, persistent leader who is willing to sacrifice short-term gratification for long-term achievement, the kind of moral leadership we need everywhere. A real, untarnished hero in a time of flawed public figures such as Clinton." So You Want to Immigrate to the United States The United States, a nation of immigrants, has a love-hate relationship with newcomers. Despite its reputation as an international melting pot, only 7.9 percent of the country's population was born overseas, compared with 22.7 percent of Australia's, 18.5 percent of Switzerland's, and 16.1 percent of Canada's. Not surprisingly, the immigration system is set up to benefit the United States--only a small percentage of the people who would like to come here are allowed in, and only a tiny fraction of the ones who make that cut are allowed to stay indefinitely. In the 1996 fiscal year, almost 23 million foreigners entered the United States on tourist visas, 418,117 on student visas, and 227,440 as temporary workers with extremely restricted temporary work visas (most are seasonal workers--only 65,000 people are allowed in annually as "persons in a specialty occupation"). In FY 1996, 915,900 people received an immigrant visa (a "green card"--it's actually pink), which makes them eligible for permanent residence and most of the benefits of citizenship, with the important exception of the right to vote. Who Gets a Green Card? In 1996, 596,000 people--65 percent of all green-card recipients--were "family-sponsored immigrants." About half were immediate relatives of U.S. citizens (spouses: 56 percent; parents: 22 percent; and children: 21 percent), and the rest were "family-sponsored preference immigrants"--spouses and children of alien residents, siblings (and their families) of naturalized citizens and their families, and adult sons and daughters (and their families) of naturalized citizens. Homosexuality ceased to be grounds for exclusion from the United States in 1991, but since gay and lesbian couples cannot legally marry in this country, there is currently no legal way for them to benefit from family-preference laws. Employment-based preferences account for an annual minimum of 140,000 entrants of whom a maximum of 10,000 may be unskilled workers. There are basically five categories of work-related "preferences": skilled workers, priority workers (including "multinational executives or managers" and "outstanding professors or researchers"), "professionals with advanced degrees," investors or employment creators, and unskilled workers. Since 1991, there has been an annual lottery for "diversity" immigrants, designed to allow citizens of countries with low levels of emigration to the United States to jump the queue. (Such countries are currently defined as those with fewer than 50,000 emigrants to the United States in the previous five years.) The 1999 lottery, with 55,000 green cards up for grabs, closed Nov. 24, 1997. (This page provides more details.) The dates for next year's diversity-visa lottery haven't yet been determined. Within these complex categories, there are national quotas to ensure that no country can take up more than 7 percent of the annual green-card allocation (though some family-reunification categories are exempted from this limit). What's the Difference Between a Resident Alien and a U.S. Citizen? Until recently, millions of green-card holders were content to live in the United States as resident aliens. But of late, lawmakers have indicated a change of attitude toward legal immigrants, and this has affected the number of applications for citizenship. A 1996 federal welfare law separated rights from entitlements, denying legal immigrants access to government housing and welfare while still requiring them to pay taxes. This loss of benefits has almost certainly precipitated the jump from the long-standing annual average of 300,000 citizenship applications to 1.6 million in 1996. (Immigration and Naturalization Service estimates show that 5.8 million of the 10.5 million green-card holders resident in the United States in 1996 were eligible to apply for U.S. citizenship.) I Won the Lottery. How Do I Become a Citizen? Candidates for citizenship must 1) be 18 or older; 2) have resided in the United States continuously for five years--or three years if married to a U.S. citizen--(short absences are OK); 3) demonstrate the ability to speak English, and a basic knowledge of American history and government (click here to see if you pass the test); and 4) be of "good moral character." Candidates must submit a set of fingerprints for review by the FBI. The increase in citizenship applications has led to longer processing periods and, according to critics, to some immigrants being wrongly naturalized. In May 1997, an INS audit of the 1.1 million people who were granted citizenship between September 1995 and September 1996 revealed 4,946 cases "in which criminal arrest should have disqualified an applicant or in which an applicant lied about his or her criminal history." A more recent press release from the INS suggests that the agency has made a "dramatic turnaround" as a result of new policies initiated last June. Evading the System According to INS estimates, 300,000 illegal immigrants come to the United States each year, and there were 5 million illegal immigrants living in the country in 1996. About 2.1 million of this group are "nonimmigrant overstays," that is, people who entered the country legally on a temporary basis and didn't go home. Most illegal immigrants, an estimated 2.7 million, come from Mexico, but only 16 percent of Mexican illegal immigrants are overstays, compared with 26 percent of those from other parts of Central America and 91 percent from all other countries. The INS deported 111,794 "criminal and other illegal aliens" in 1997, and recent changes in the law, summarized here, establish new grounds for denying admission to the United States. For example, nonimmigrant overstays can now be denied readmission for up to 10 years. Access to jobs attracts illegal immigrants. Although the INS negotiated its largest work-site settlement last year, when a Texas restaurant chain agreed to pay a $1.7-million fine for hiring and employing illegal immigrant workers, critics claim that Congress doesn't do enough to punish employers who make extensive use of illegal labor. Unscrupulous employers see these workers as more manageable and less likely to complain. Despite regulations that punish employers who knowingly employ them, pressure from business groups like the National Federation of Independent Business and the National Restaurant Association scuttled an attempt to include computer verification of employee eligibility in the 1996 immigration bill. What About Refugees? A fact sheet prepared by the State Department's Bureau of Population, Refugees, and Migration outlines the U.S. refugee policy. Around 120,000 refugees are allowed into the country each year if they flee their country "due to persecution or a well-founded fear of persecution because of race, religion, nationality, political opinion, or membership in a particular social group." Recent changes in the law prohibit asylum applications from persons who have been in the United States for more than a year. Cuban pitchers are also offered refuge--unless they can get a better deal in the Bahamas, of course. Maybe It Is About Sex Today's news to chew on: According to Newsweek , Kenneth Starr's impeachment report to Congress will address only Flytrap. It will ignore not only Travelgate, Filegate, and Vince Foster, topics he has spent years and millions studying, but also Whitewater, the scandal he was appointed to investigate lo these many years ago. Starr hasn't totally abandoned the B-list scandals: He will still present evidence from them to the three judge panel he reports to, and that will certainly lead to indictments against White House aides. But the implication is that the only impeachable offenses he is pursuing relate to Flytrap. I can't decide whether this is surprising or unsurprising news. Should reaction be gape-mouthed shock or a blas shrug? In favor of gape-mouthed shock: There is something incredible in the idea that Starr could spend four years and $40 million and all he can come up with to nail Clinton is a sex scandal. In favor of a blas shrug: Anyone who has tried to follow Starr's investigation has long known that Whitewater, Filegate, etc., are forests of confusion. Even if there were compelling evidence that President Clinton committed a high crime, the scandals themselves are too incomprehensible to make any charge stick. (Or, even if they're not incomprehensible, the media have never succeeded in portraying them in a way that interests the American public.) Of course Starr dropped the B-listers: Now he has distilled his case to the essence, focusing on the only Clinton scandal that Americans understand, and the only one where he might find a clear, explicable high crime. There are two important ways Starr's Flytrap Only decision may disrupt the scandal. In theory, a Flytrap Only report should make it much easier for Clinton to mea culpa . An apology would clear the decks: Flytrap would disappear, and the other investigations would not remain to threaten him. He'd be humiliated but safe. But although a Flytrap Only report makes it easier for Clinton to mea culpa , it also makes it much less likely. The sad, persistent fact about Clinton is that he tells only as much truth as he needs to. The more you press him, the more likely he is to be honest. Anything that eases pressure makes him more likely to lie. So if he knows that he's safe from Whitewater, etc., Clinton may be more inclined to brazen out Flytrap. After all, he only has to beat one scandal, not six. The other, more frivolous consequence of a Flytrap Only report will be to sow confusion among Clinton's critics. The B-list scandals have always been fig leaves for Clinton's opponents. They repeated the names of the scandals like a mantra: Whitewater, Travelgate, Filegate, Foster. Whitewater, Travelgate, Filegate, Foster. No matter what these scandals involved, they served primarily to justify Flytrap, a way to sanitize the sex scandal. See, it's not just about sex. It's about a pattern of obstruction of justice and perjury dating back to his years as governor, etc. ... But if Ken Starr, Clinton's most dogged persecutor, says there's no pattern, what on earth will Clinton's critics say? That it really is just about sex? I am looking forward to a week of creative new answers. Killing Monica How can you tell if Clinton is going to do a mea culpa ? My guess: Watch Monica's image. In the beginning, Monica Lewinsky was, you may recall, a "pathological liar" who forged a letter of recommendation and said she never told the truth. She was a shameless hussy who seduced teachers, took pride in her "presidential kneepads," and bragged about her large breasts; a creepy, beret-wearing stalker who tracked the president from event to event in search of a hug. But for the past month, and especially last week, there has been a kinder, gentler Monica, an innocent trapped in a scandal not of her own making. The new Monica sounded sweetly sympathetic: She told a friend "it breaks my heart" to testify and said all she wanted for her 25 th birthday was "my life back." A Washington Post piece bathed her in golden light: She hopes to go to graduate school in sociology, she's scrimping because she doesn't want to burden her parents financially, she is so much a hostage to the media that she couldn't attend her own mom's wedding, and--the icing on the cake--she has taken up knitting. The coverage of her day in court was uniformly kind, rarely mentioning that she has lied before and changed her story now. Why the "strange new respect"? First, the Golden Rule of Conventional Wisdom, which is that it must change. Troubled Monica is an old story: Reporters needed a new angle for this round of Flytrap. Result: Knitting Monica. Lewinsky is reaping the reward for having dumped William Ginsburg. His wild, self-aggrandizing public statements made both of them a laughingstock, and the Vanity Fair photo shoot he arranged sullied Lewinsky's image almost as much as a Penthouse spread would have. She is also enjoying the imprimatur of the law. Whenever someone testifies, gravitas follows. The mere fact of giving sworn testimony to a court imbues a witness with credibility and weight: She is participating in the measured and solemn business of justice. But the No. 1 reason why Monica has seemed like a sweetheart is that the White House has been silent. As Monica's image goes, so goes the president. If Clinton were going to apologize, Lewinsky's new image would be safe. It would do no good for the White House to savage her if the president is going to admit an affair. But the White House campaign against Monica is beginning, and that's the best indicator so far that Clinton is not going to apologize. For him to survive a denial, Monica must be ruined. Having showered Monica with security clearances and Pentagon jobs and gifts and White House visits, it's a little hard for Clinton to make the claim that she's a nut cake, but the effort will be made. A National Enquirer story, probably based on a White House leak, quotes Clinton saying that Monica is "dangerous" and that she "hallucinates." According to Newsweek , Clinton attorney David Kendall is gathering dirt about Lewinsky's mendacity and presidential obsession. White House officials are tallying and comparing all the different stories Lewinsky has told about Clinton (to Tripp, to friends, in her affidavit, to Vernon Jordan, etc.) and are gleefully looking forward to exposing the inconsistencies. If Monica must be killed to save the president, she will be killed (metaphorically speaking, of course). More Flytrap ... The Punditry Crisis I first realized something was terribly, terribly wrong when a Fox News producer called me yesterday. She wanted me to opine about the scandal on Sunday, when the cable news channel will do a Flytrap marathon in anticipation of the president's testimony. Her call was fishy for two reasons: 1) I am not usually first, or second, or last on any TV booker's guest list; and 2) she said the following to me, imploringly: "We're really looking for something different. Can you be different?" (Well, I thought to myself, of course I can be different. My mother always told me I was "different.") The pursuit of wretched excess in Flytrap--a pursuit in which Slate has eagerly participated--is producing some unfortunate results. One, which I wrote about last week, is the rising popularity of preposterous conspiracy theories. The Punditry Crisis is another. Not since the late-O.J. era has America faced such an alarming moment. Is there anything left to say? The crisis is, at bottom, a market failure. Ratings demonstrate that TV viewers (never mind their protestations) want to hear about Flytrap all the time. The gross appetites of CNN, MSNBC, and Fox must be sated. Crossfire must have fire. Hardball must be hard. Face the Nation must have someone to face. But there's not enough supply to meet the demand. As Aug. 17 approaches, Flytrap is in an information blackout. The White House is silent, and Starr's office has stopped leaking. Every hypothesis has been hypothesized. Every theory theorized. Every spin spun. Each tiny nugget of new information is chewed, swallowed, regurgitated as cud, and chewed again. Pundits are reduced to flogging thirdhand and fourthhand rumors. Can any TV watcher endure another Jonathan Turley sermon or Lanny Davis "wait and see" or Laura Ingraham huff? Too much demand, too little supply. TV producers are on a desperate, futile quest for someone--or something--different to put on the air. (This crisis is not, of course, limited to television: Those of us in the print and e-media are thrashing through the same news vacuum.) "Ireally don't know what pundits will do. We have six days to fill. And there's nothing," warns Time 's Margaret Carlson. "If I had even one new fact, I would lock it in a vault until I could use it [in a column or on television]. If I had even one new observation, I would not breathe a word about it until I could use it. One piece of real news would eat all this [blather] up like kudzu." Not every pundit is worrying about the crisis. Some Panglossian commentators claim there is no crisis at all. One compares Flytrap to World War I trench battles: "No one is getting overrun, but steady progress is being made." In fact, he says, plenty of fascinating new details emerge every day. (When asked for an example of such a detail, he suggests, halfheartedly, "what Monica ate for lunch.") And for freshly minted Flytrap pundits such as Turley, there is no crisis, either. This is their moment. No topic is so stale that it cannot be reheated: After all, it gets you air time. And besides, say the Panglossians, no matter how much Flytrap nothing is being spewed, think how much worse it would be if there were no scandal at all. At least it's something to talk about. But should we simply relax and let the Punditry Crisis grow into a catastrophe? Right-thinking people can agree: We should not. Stuart Taylor Jr., in a moment of high-minded optimism, proposes that pundits take advantage of the information vacuum to talk about first principles. Instead of jabbing fingers over Monica's dress, for example, they should discuss the fundamentals of sexual harassment law. I'm not sure Taylor's worthy solution is possible but, whether it is or it isn't, I think we can all concur that that the Punditry Crisis requires immediate action. Well, maybe not action , but definitely a lot more talk. More Evidence That He Won't Do a Mea Culpa One popular hypothesis about Aug. 17 is the notion that Clinton won't admit/apologize because Hillary Clinton won't let him. She refuses to let him humiliate her. Further support for this theory comes from a profile of Hillary in today's Washington Post . The Post rediscovered an astonishing 7-month-old quote from the first lady. Everyone remembers that the first lady blamed Flytrap on a "vast right-wing conspiracy" in a Today show interview during the first days of the crisis. The Post reminds readers of what else she said (Hillary's words are in italics): "If a president were proved to have had an adulterous liaison while in the White House, the American people 'should certainly be concerned about it ... if all that were proven true, I think that would be a very serious offense. That is not going to be proven true. I think we're going to find some other things. ' " This is, admittedly, just a single line from a long-ago interview, but it suggests that the Clintons are locked into a denial. If Clinton admits an affair, how could Hillary ever explain away this quote? Can the president do a mea culpa knowing that the video of Hillary saying it "would be a very serious offense" would be thrown back in his face again and again and again? "Flytrap Today": The complete chronicles. More Flytrap ... Francis Ford Coppola Every couple of years, Francis Ford Coppola's devoted fans--and such people still exist--do something heartbreaking: They see his new film. This month has brought the latest Coppola punishment, The Rainmaker . Or rather, John Grisham's The Rainmaker , a title that tells you everything you need to know about the movie. Critics are greeting Coppola's film--the usual Grisham tale of an idealistic young lawyer slingshotting a Goliath--with a desperate generosity. Casting about for something nice to say, most reviewers have hit upon the conclusion that J.G.'s The Rainmaker is better than the "typical" Hollywood movie (by which they mean it has fewer automatic weapons, fewer car chases, and more character actors than regular fare does). One well-meaning critic called it the best Grisham movie since The Firm . This is sad: Francis Ford Coppola, the director of The Godfather , The Godfather Part II , The Conversation , Rumble Fish , and Apocalypse Now and the winner of five Academy Awards, is being praised for making the second-best John Grisham movie. What's even sadder: The Rainmaker is actually much better than most of Coppola's recent work. In the past 15 years, he's become the most hackish of the studio hacks. His last dozen films have ranged from bombastic dreck ( Bram Stoker's Dracula , The Godfather Part III , The Cotton Club ) to infantile dreck ( Jack , Captain Eo ) to biographical dreck ( Tucker: The Man and His Dream ) to pretentious dreck ( One From the Heart , New York Stories ). He has also been producer for an astonishing volume of bad cinema and television, including NBC's The Odyssey ; the 1992 movie Wind ; and White Dwarf , a sci-fi movie for Fox. Despite this record of unadulterated mediocrity, a fog of optimism continues to envelop Coppola. Rainmaker reviewers are saying the same thing about Coppola that they said when Jack opened in 1996, when The Godfather Part III opened in 1990, when Tucker opened in 1988: He's ready to make his comeback. This movie, it is promised, will be Coppola's last as a studio lackey. Soon he will return with his own project, independent of Hollywood's morons, and make the great movie that They have stopped him from making since the late '70s. (Coppola is cryptic about what this project will be, but there are vague rumors about Megalopolis , a long-planned film comparing Imperial Rome and modern Manhattan. Other rumors have him filming Jack Kerouac's On the Road .) The optimists are sure to be disappointed--they misdiagnose the cause of Coppola's illness. People continue to believe in Coppola because he is the romantic archetype of the movie director. He has embedded himself in the mythology of the film industry like no director since Orson Welles or D.W. Griffith. Coppola made his name as the director who would risk everything--his fortune, his family, even his sanity--for his art. During the '70s and the '80s, Coppola bucked Hollywood by opening his own studio, American Zoetrope. It was a doomed enterprise but a noble one: For a few years, Coppola did free himself and his protgs from Hollywood's thrall. In the late '70s, he cemented his reputation as an Artist with Apocalypse Now . He gave himself a nervous breakdown, gave Martin Sheen a heart attack, and spent $16 million of his own money to complete the picture. (His Apocalypse Now lunacy is brilliantly chronicled in the documentary Hearts of Darkness .) In the early '80s, Coppola drove himself into bankruptcy again for One From the Heart , his beloved musical romance. He made a black-and-white movie ... for kids ( Rumble Fish ). Coppola has made more actors into stars than any 10 other directors combined, and he has pioneered technology (notably video editing) that other filmmakers have come to rely on. In person, Coppola is expansive, generous, a brilliant talker, a salesman. He is, in short, the very model of what a movie maker should be. This vision of Coppola as romantic genius makes it very easy to rationalize his failures as poor accountancy. "His career can be summed up as the case of a man who needed a financial manager," says Roger Ebert. Coppola spent much of the '80s in bankruptcy, driven there by the failure of One From the Heart and his studio's collapse. So of course he became a hired gun: He needed to pay his debts. According to the mythology, Coppola was given third-rate scripts and managed to transform them into second-rate entertainment like The Cotton Club , Gardens of Stone , and Peggy Sue Got Married . (Coppola, who had been notorious for delivering his own movies late and over budget, earned a reputation as a reliable director. He stuck to his budgets, and almost all his studio movies, even the reprehensible Jack , earned money.) Coppola too buys into the notion that he would have kept making great movies if only he'd been debt free. He's obsessed with the notion of artistic purity. The Rainmaker is a two-hour tribute to the idea of not selling out. (Click on the graphic to see the movie's emotional climax, when the young lawyer hero confronts the old lawyer villain about selling out.) In recent interviews, Coppola has upbraided himself for his own . But Coppola may be misjudging the reason why he's made so many bad movies. He thinks that selling out--making movies for financial rather than artistic reasons--has put a crimp in his style. But he has always been a sellout. Or, to put it more kindly, the quality of his movies has never depended on whether the movies were sellouts or not. Some of Coppola's "personal" movies are magnificent ( The Conversation and, arguably, Apocalypse Now ). But others are dreadful ( One From the Heart , Tucker ). Some of Coppola's sellout movies are dreadful ( The Cotton Club , Jack ...). But Coppola's two greatest movies, the Godfather s, were studio-funded, studio-managed projects. The Godfather , in fact, was the quintessential sellout: Paramount picked Coppola to direct the movie because he would work for cheap. Why would he work for cheap? Because he had just bankrupted himself making a disastrous independent movie called The Rain People . Coppola has become a studio hack for much more banal reasons. He got older, mellower, more respectable. He has his estates, his winery, his Belize resort, his merchandise. It's impossible to imagine today's Coppola driving himself or his actors the way he did during the filming of Apocalypse Now . He also seems to lack the inspiration for a grand project. His last truly personal movies were Tucker , back in 1988, and One From the Heart , back in 1982. Neither was good. Recently Coppola said, "People want me so badly to do something truly astounding. To show them something they haven't seen before. I would like to do that, and I really believe I can do it." This may be the heart of Coppola's dilemma. He views his life as a story of unfulfilled promise, the tale of an artist constrained by commerce. It isn't. Coppola's life is the story of fulfilled promise. He made two of the greatest, if not the two greatest, movies in American history. These were triumphs enough for any career. It is Coppola's tragedy that he believes his best work is always ahead of him, yet keeps on making Rainmaker s. Man of the Year A visionary has the power to imagine what the world can be, and a revolutionary has the power to make it so. Very few men are either. Our 1997 Man of the Year is both. Ideas have consequences, and it is in 1997 that we have seen the consequences of his. With his pinwheeling, hopscotch creativity, he has changed the nation's center of gravity, reinventing commerce, art, science, technology, and faith. His animating spirit--a pragmatic, idealistic humanitarianism--is rapidly becoming the ethos of the age. His passing comments roil financial markets from Bangkok to Bond Street. Hollywood moguls make pilgrimages to his seaside home. Bill Gates seeks his counsel. So does Stephen Hawking. He is, it is said, the only man who plays golf with Bill Clinton and doesn't let him cheat. Still, he is not yet a household name and may not be for some time. He is an unassuming man--a thatch of sandy hair, a pair of inquisitive brown eyes, a slight shadow of beard at all hours of the day. In a year of spectacular emotion, his was a quiet triumph. He lacks the press savvy of Clinton. He doesn't touch the heart as Princess Diana did, or the conscience as Mother Teresa did (or the pocketbook as Alan Greenspan does). But while other people make headlines, he is making history. When they chronicle our time, it should be his name that appears on the roll of honor. But only if ... His vision and his revolution are high-risk gambles. If they fail--and no one can predict if they will--our world will be a more dangerous place, a darker, poorer place, a world untethered from the kind of stability we have come to cherish. And if he succeeds? "Every so often God blesses us," says his close friend and confidant the Dalai Lama, "and he is such a blessing." To understand him, to understand both his leathery toughness and his gentle soul, follow U.S. Route 44 west from Lubbock, Texas, for 50 miles. Here, 50 miles from Lubbock and 50 miles from nowhere, is a one-stoplight town called Poseyville. And here, up the block from the River Diner--though there's no river for miles--is a three-room cabin. It is in this cabin, five decades ago, that his mother came, alone, a young widow trying to start over with her 2-year-old boy. That little house was his crucible. They grew up together, mother and son. They studied together on the oilcloth-covered kitchen table, beneath the only electric light in the house. He learned his ABCs; she slowly, slowly earned her degree via correspondence. And when the lessons were over, she instilled in him the homespun wisdom that her parents had instilled in her: "The power is the word, not the sword." "There is no difficulty so great that it cannot be overcome, no triumph so great that it cannot be destroyed." His mother still lives in the same house, but electric lights are everywhere now. He phones her every day, at noon sharp. (Once he excused himself from an audience with the pope to call.) "From the time he was a boy," she confides, "I knew that destiny had reserved him a seat." If destiny had indeed reserved him a seat, it was in the very front of the classroom. He was an A student at Poseyville High. He was also a three-sport star and "the most ferocious competitor I've ever seen," his coach says today. Even as a teen-ager, he showed signs of his independent-mindedness. His friends mowed lawns; he climbed mountains. They took piano lessons; he taught himself the trombone and busked for dimes on Main Street. "Adversity," wrote the poet Rainer Maria Rilke, "is the seedling of courage." And adversity came. He headed east for college on scholarship. His mother, alone again, fell ill. School was a struggle. Midway through his freshman year, he gave up, hitchhiked home, and told his mother he was back for good to take care of her. That night, they went out for a walk on the plains. "It was," he says, "a clear, moonlit night. We walked by an old ranch house, and I could see the barbed wire and the old brands glinting in the moonlight. All of a sudden I thought of when the world was young and growing and full of hope. And I wanted to make it so again." The next morning, he hitchhiked back East. His mind burns with a bright, clear flame, and his professors soon recognized his genius. He earned his degree in three years and went to work. He astonished. "He could see around corners," says an old colleague. He overturned conventional wisdom, and preached heresy. In the beginning, he was dismissed as a crackpot--at best an eccentric, at worst a threat. But steadily his fame and power and influence grew. He was not an intellectual, and he had no time for ideology, but he had the American genius for common sense. His own powerful ideas rooted themselves in society's cracks and began to sprout in all directions. And sprout. And sprout. Today, despite his fame, he remains a startlingly humble man. Every morning, while he's in the bath, he tries to answer his dozens of personal letters. He's never missed a high-school reunion, and he still finds time to eat dinner with childhood friends twice a week. "When he got famous, I was sure he'd forget us," says one old playmate, "but he hasn't." His charm is legendary. So is his equanimity. When his aides panic over some nugget of bad news, he calms them down by quoting his sages: Lao Tzu, Euripedes, Toynbee, Covey. Every day, he says, he receives a letter or two urging him to run for president. He laughs the idea off. The president is a captive. He is a free man, and in freedom is true power. This is, he says, only the beginning of his crusade. In the third century, after the invention of the fulcrum and lever, Archimedes wrote, "Give me where to stand, and I will move the earth." It is now the cusp of the millennium. The Man of the Year has two feet planted squarely on the ground. And the earth is moving. All the President's Women Since the Monica scandal broke, armchair shrinks have been psychologizing round-the-clock about the president's libido. His indulgent mother is to blame. Or is it his no-goodnik stepfather? Or his impulsive genes? Or his "anti-social personality disorder"? Lost in the Clinternalia is an essential question about the president's womanizing: How does he pick them? If allegations are true, Clinton has slept with (or tried to sleep with) lawyers and prostitutes, reporters and flacks, singers and groupies, interns and beauty queens, whites and blacks, blondes and brunettes. What on earth do they all have in common? Slate has compiled a list of the 16 women most frequently linked to Clinton (click for the list and bios) and tried to figure it out: Does the president have a type? Who is his ideal woman? If the president is a "sexual predator," as some would have us believe, who is his favorite prey? Looks Above all: She's big in the face. She has big lips; full, fleshy cheeks; and enormous, showy teeth. Hillary Clinton, who has chipmunk cheeks and a whopper of a grin, may be his model here. Paula Jones, Gennifer Flowers, Susan McDougal, and Monica Lewinsky also fit the type. They have huge teeth, dentist's-office teeth, the kind of choppers that can tear flesh from bone. Of the women linked to Clinton I've seen pictures of, only Kathleen Willey has an average-size mouth. (In a recent, cruel Salon column, Camille Paglia pondered the significance of Clinton's women's big mouths. She called Paula Jones' features a "walking, talking advertisement for oral sex." I leave such speculation to experts.) She has big hair. A clich about Clinton, but a true one. Flowers, McDougal, Lewinsky, Jones, Dolly Kyle Browning, and Elizabeth Ward all wore big, fluffy manes at the time of their alleged Clinton encounters. The president used to prefer the fright-wig Arkansas hairdos of Flowers and Jones. Lately he's gone for a more sober look. Lewinsky and Willey have long, but controlled, hair. Hillary has had a dozen or more hair incarnations, but her locks have always been shorter than those of Clinton's other women. Clinton likes brunettes plenty (Lewinsky, Bobbie Ann Williams) but seems to prefer blondes (Browning, Sally Perdue). He doesn't mind if the color is from a bottle (Flowers, Hillary). Bangs are fine (Flowers, Lewinsky), but so are no bangs (Perdue, Ward). Curly, wavy, straight--it doesn't seem to matter to Clinton. She has blue or green eyes. Brown-eyed girls are uncommon in the Clinton pantheon. Though we hate to say this in a family publication, she has large breasts . (Evidence: several men's-magazine photo spreads. More on this later.) And she's a beauty queen. Clinton's been linked to--count 'em--three holders of the Miss Arkansas title: 1958 winner Sally Perdue, who has admitted an affair; 1980 winner Lencola Sullivan, who has denied an affair; and 1982 winner and Miss America Elizabeth Ward, who has denied an affair. Most of Clinton's other alleged paramours have been lovely, too. Age She's in her 20s. Youth may be wasted on the young, but it's not wasted on the president. Most of the Clinton women were in their 20s at the time of their Clinton encounter; he was a decade or three older. Clinton was 36 at the time of his alleged affair with the 21-year-old Ward. He was nearly 50 when Lewinsky was 21. But Clinton is no ageist. Perdue is almost a decade older than he is. And his longest relationships have been with contemporaries: Hillary is his age, as is high-school sweetheart Browning. Clothes She wears either revealing clothes or professional clothes (or perhaps both). The best way to catch the president's eye seems to be to show skin. In 1984, Clinton picked up rock groupie Connie Hamzy when she was sunbathing in a bikini by a hotel pool. Lewinsky reportedly wore a provocative dress to attract the president's attention, and McDougal did a Madison Guaranty TV commercial in hot pants. But Clinton enjoys the librarian look, too. Hillary is buttoned up. Willey, allegedly propositioned in the White House, was dressed professionally (at least till Clinton "untucked" her blouse). And Browning, a lawyer, is neat as a pin in her publicity photos. Job Ideally, she's Miss Arkansas. Otherwise, she works under him. Lewinsky was a White House intern. Willey was a secretary in the White House counsel's office. Susie Whitacre worked in Gov. Clinton's press office. Jones was an Arkansas state employee. And Clinton put Shelia Lawrence on the federal payroll. Besides beauty queens and underlings, Clinton's taste is eclectic. Browning and Hillary are lawyers, Sullivan a journalist, Williams a prostitute, Hamzy a groupie, McDougal a businesswoman. Loyalty She's loyal to him even when he doesn't deserve it. Hillary has endured philandering for decades. McDougal has served time rather than rat on him. Lewinsky may have lied under oath for him. (Some Clinton women may be loyal because he gave them favors. Vernon Jordan simplified Lewinsky's job search. Clinton found federal jobs for Willey and Lawrence. And Hillary got to be in charge of health-care reform.) Loyalty may be his ideal, but he doesn't always get it. Browning wrote a novel about her romance with Clinton. Hamzy and Perdue have blabbed extensively about their affairs. Flowers sold her story to the Star and wrote a tell-all memoir. The tabs paid Williams $25,000 for her story. And Jones' suit landed him in the mess he's in. Shared Interests No relationship can flourish without shared interests, and the president's are no exception. Like Clinton, the president's ideal woman loves music. Flowers was a cabaret singer. Perdue claims she used to croon "He's Just My Bill" to him; he serenaded her with "Long Tall Sally." Ward sang "After You've Gone" at the Miss America Pageant. Hamzy is a professional rock groupie. Sullivan dated Stevie Wonder. And, like Clinton, his ideal woman may be a shameless exhibitionist. Lewinsky reportedly talked dirty to Clinton and sent him an explicit tape. Hamzy, who claims to have slept with 24 men in one night, sold her sex story to Penthouse. (She said, "I may be a slut, but I'm no liar.") Flowers ($200,000), and Perdue ($50,000) stripped for Penthouse . Ward ($100,000) did the same for Playboy . . Kofi Annan The office of U.N. secretary-general is traditionally a refuge for knaves, lickspittles, and villains (in Kurt Waldheim's case, all three at once). So Americans are entitled to surprise at Kofi Annan's deft diplomacy in Iraq last week. U.S. warmongers had warned that Annan would give away the store to appease Saddam Hussein. But the soft-spoken secretary-general gave away nothing and got much. His persistent, polite diplomacy revived weapons inspections (which have eliminated far more Iraqi weapons than the war did); calmed nerves throughout the Arab world; and saved the Clinton administration from an ill-conceived, unpopular bombing plan--all without an apparently meaningful concession to Iraq. More important, Annan accomplished all this in a way that brought glory to the United States: He announced--emphatically--that the negotiations would have been fruitless without the U.S. military threat. The United States gains credit for diplomatic restraint; the United Nations gains credit for keeping the peace; the will of the U.N. Security Council is enforced; and the destruction of Iraqi weapons continues. Even if Iraq reneges on the agreement--which is likely--the United States has lost nothing but time: There will be far more support for bombing if Hussein flouts Annan than there was when Hussein was simply flouting Clinton. Kofi Annan is the perfect secretary-general for an age of U.S. triumphalism. It used to be that the Cold War stymied the United Nations. Today the United States does. It is dominant in politics, economics, culture. To the rest of the world, U.S. foreign policy is "We're Number One-ism"--an insufferable combination of gloating and bullying. The United States has its own ill feelings toward the United Nations. Conservatives see the organization as a mob of meddlesome, anti-American nags plotting for world government. (In some Americans' eyes, the United Nations' principal accomplishment is collecting loose change during UNICEF's trick-or-treat fund drives.) Bob Dole got his biggest round of applause during the 1996 presidential campaign when he mocked Secretary-General Boutros Boutros-Ghali's name. Sen. Jesse Helms, R-N.C., threatened to stop all U.S. funding for the United Nations, and many of Helms' Republican colleagues in Congress have proposed U.S. withdrawal. Since he took over as secretary-general 13 months ago, Annan has begun to do the improbable: restore America's faith in the United Nations and the United Nations' faith in America. Annan's United Nations has shelved Boutros-Ghali's grand ambitions. Annan is building an organization we can live with, one that is smaller, better run, and more deferential to the United States. On paper, Annan isn't a promising candidate to reunite the United States and the United Nations. He is too attached to his organization, the first secretary-general to rise from inside its bureaucracy. (This does not exactly recommend him to anyone outside that bureaucracy.) He has spent his life as an "international civil servant," a phrase that conjures an image of someone wasting millions of U.S. dollars pushing paper around the Third World (which is basically what he did). Born to a powerful family in Ghana--his father was a hereditary chief--Annan attended Minnesota's Macalester College in the late 1950s on a Ford Foundation grant. As Ghana's promising democracy collapsed into a dictatorship, Annan, like many bright young West Africans, decided to remain overseas. He went to work for the United Nations, rising gradually through the ranks at the World Health Organization, the High Commission on Refugees, and the Secretariat. Eventually he supervised peacekeeping operations in Somalia and Bosnia. In the Byzantine, languorous U.N. bureaucracy, Annan earned a reputation as someone who actually Got Things Done. Thanks to his straightforward manner and overwhelming decency, he was the only U.N. official associated with Bosnia and Somalia to survive with his reputation unharmed. When the United States decided to dump Boutros-Ghali in late 1996, everyone touted Annan as the compromise candidate to replace him. (Everyone, that is, except the French. They wanted a secretary-general from Francophone Africa.) Annan is a true internationalist: He speaks English, French, and several African languages fluently. He has lived in Geneva, Nairobi, Cairo, Accra, and New York, among other places. His wife is Swedish (the niece of Raoul Wallenberg, in fact). But Annan is an internationalist with an American inflection. He was educated here, he loves living here--and, according to an aide, he'll probably retire here. A U.N. secretary-general is a CEO, someone who needs to be independent enough to take the initiative but tractable enough to heed his board members (that is, the member states). Annan is well suited to this dual role. For example: Americans have been demanding management reform for decades, and Annan is the technocrat who may do it--after all, he has a management degree from MIT. Annan's recent reform package cuts 1,000 jobs from the 10,000-person Secretariat, slashes administrative costs by one-third, and streamlines the United Nations' absurd bureaucracy. Annan is pushing merit-based promotion and management training, ancient ideas that are new to the United Nations. Americans say Annan hasn't cut enough; others say he has cut too much. In other words, he's doing it just right. Under Boutros-Ghali, the United Nations kept 80,000 peacekeepers in uniform. Now, post-Bosnia, post-Somalia, and post-Boutros-Ghali, there are barely 20,000. Annan is the world's most gentlemanly politician. Where Boutros-Ghali was highhanded and arrogant, Annan is gentle, soft-spoken, calm. Boutros-Ghali spoke English poorly, rarely visited American leaders, and regularly berated U.S. misbehavior. He was vicious without being tough. Annan is tough without being vicious. The United States would never have let Boutros-Ghali negotiate with Hussein. He was too reckless, too erratic, too anti-American. But Annan has formed a strong friendship with Secretary of State Madeleine Albright. She and her colleagues could trust him to win peace without appeasement. For the United Nations to thrive, it's not enough that the United States trust it. The United Nations must also trust the United States. That is Annan's next test. America's reputation is at an ebb in U.N. Plaza. The United States owes more than $1 billion in U.N. peacekeeping dues. These arrears are crippling the United Nations, which gets a quarter of its $2.6-billion budget from the United States. The organization has already curtailed essential activities, and may be forced to shut down next year if the Americans don't pay. Annan has been trying to pry the cash out of Washington since he took office. Last fall, Congress all but OK'd a $1-billion payout. Then a few conservative members killed the funding bill by attaching an unacceptable anti-abortion amendment. Annan visits Washington this week to push again. Albright is on his side. Clinton is on his side. And--perhaps the best indication of Annan's appeal--even Jesse Helms is on his side. Helms, who just two years ago threatened to end all U.N. funding, was charmed when Annan called on him last year. Helms, too, favors settling the U.N. debt. When a U.N. secretary-general can get Jesse Helms and Saddam Hussein to fall in line, he is doing something right. The Republican Presidential Hopeful After his excruciating performance in the 1996 Republican presidential campaign, Lamar Alexander should have had the grace to disappear quietly into the Tennessee backwoods. But here we are, a full 900 days before the 2000 election, and Alexander is running again--airing ads in Iowa, fund raising, pandering, mounting his high horse, and doing all the other unappetizing things a presidential candidate must do. Alexander, who has been campaigning for president more or less nonstop since 1993, is the very model of the Republican Presidential Hopeful, or RPH, but he's hardly alone. With no Republican heir apparent, the 2000 race promises to be the wildest GOP primary in a generation. There are, by my count, two dozen Republicans considered (at least by their own estimation) viable 2000 candidates. is the full list. And an astonishing number of them are already engaged in all-but-official campaigns, desperate quests to become an "early favorite." The will-be candidates are competing fiercely for donors, staff, volunteers, endorsements. (A caveat: Not all the potential candidates are pre-campaigning. George W. Bush and Elizabeth Dole, for example, have carefully avoided any presidential posturing.) So who is the RPH? What are defining qualities? The RPH is not easily deterred. Anyone who would spend three years of his life pursuing an office that he has no reasonable hope of winning must be irrepressible. The RPH isn't bothered by the fact that he's been routed before (Alexander, Alan Keyes, Pete Wilson, Pat Buchanan, Steve Forbes, Jack Kemp); that he's the most hated man in politics (Newt Gingrich); that he's a national joke (Dan Quayle); that hardly anyone outside his home state has heard of him (John Ashcroft, Bob Smith, George Pataki, Tom Ridge, John Kasich, Tommy Thompson); that most voters will confuse him with an S&L crook (Frank Keating, the governor of Oklahoma--he's never heard of you, either); or that he might not get elected if he were the next-to-last American alive (Gary Bauer). The RPH pretends he isn't actually running. It's tacky to be campaigning for president in the first half of 1998, so--even though everyone knows he's going to run--the RPH generally insists he isn't a candidate. He has devised a number of lies and half-truths to convey this. "It's not something I'm thinking about right now" (Rudolph Giuliani). He won't decide until "1999" (Quayle), "for another year" (Kasich), until "after the 1998 elections" (lots of them). It's just an "exploratory committee" (Keyes). It's "very premature" to talk about it (Pataki). "I'm extremely flattered by the speculation," but a worthier candidate will certainly come along" (Bauer). "My focus is entirely on the state of ______" (Christie Todd Whitman and other governors). Instead of appearing to be the grasping pol he is, the RPH exudes the impression that he won't run unless the American people plead for his candidacy. Rare is the politician who doesn't hear that plea. The RPH says he has a real job, but he doesn't. Some RPHs do actually work for a living: Sitting governors, members of Congress, Dole, and Bauer all hold real jobs. But often the RPH has a simulacrum of a career, the kind of work that is an excuse to spend every waking minute campaigning. (That means you, Keyes, Alexander, Quayle, Kemp, Buchanan. Would you dare say your job is "professional presidential candidate"?) The RPH claims he is working for the good of America or the Republican Party or both. What, exactly, does this "work" consist of? Much of it is giving speeches. (Forbes has made nearly 300 over the last 18 months.) The rest of the RPH's work is running his political action committee or "grass-roots" advocacy group . This group has a magnificent, patriotic name: Campaign for a New American Century! Live Free or Die! Solutions America! Spirit of America! (Click to play a game: Match the RPH to his group.) The RPH's group has ambitious goals: to advocate the flat tax (Forbes); to draft "an agenda for a new American century" (Alexander); to "build and strengthen the Republican Party" (Quayle). In fact, the group has only one real purpose: to raise funds and promote the RPH before official campaigning (as well as official fund raising) begins in 1999. What does the RPH believe in? Well, the RPH has Principles-- . The RPH is high-minded. He frequently quotes Ronald Reagan. He especially enjoys taking a bold public stand against his party: This distinguishes him as a statesman who won't sacrifice principles for expediency. It also guarantees a bit of favorable press. Ashcroft regularly berates the Republican Congress for having "cut and run" rather than having tackled tough moral issues. Forbes periodically slaps Republicans in Congress for compromising: "Get real or get out!" is a Forbes slogan. Keyes makes a habit of denouncing the GOP: for expanding government, for approving treaties, for not impeaching Clinton, etc. And the RPH often slams fellow Republicans for not doing enough to ban abortion. The RPH who must legislate or govern (Gingrich, Kasich, Bush) is quieter about his principles--probably because he actually has to live by them. There is no such check on the unemployed RPH. The RPH has a multipoint tax plan (usually at least four points, often 10). The RPH generally believes in the flat tax, which should be set at 17 percent. (Quayle--that tax-and-spend liberal--would set it at a whopping 19 percent.) The RPH might also believe in eliminating the income tax (Keyes), slashing the income tax and raising tariffs (Buchanan), or rejiggering the tax code to save taxpayers $985 billion (Ashcroft, by abolishing taxes on inheritances and on Social Security benefits, among other measures). The RPH does not much elaborate on how he would balance the budget after his cuts. The RPH is a writer. The RPH has hidden literary talents. You can't turn around in a bookstore without knocking over a pile of (unsold) RPH books. Click for a list of them and another mix-and-match game. The publication of the RPH book is followed by the book tour, which leads to the next fact about the RPH: The RPH likes to travel--to New Hampshire and Iowa. Gingrich recently toured to promote Lessons Learned the Hard Way . He found himself signing books in Manchester, N.H., and Des Moines, Iowa--undoubtedly because those cities are famed for their interest in great literature. Forbes, Alexander, Ashcroft, Kasich, and John McCain have also recently visited New Hampshire. Forbes, Alexander, Ashcroft, Smith, and Keyes have stopped off in Iowa. Kemp has traveled to Iowa at least seven times. And the pressing business of New York took Pataki on a 12-city tour through the South and the West. The RPH will also travel to any place where a few dozen Republicans have gathered. Last summer, the "Midwestern Republican Leadership Conference" in Indianapolis drew eight RPHs. A similar meeting in Biloxi, Miss., this year also attracted eight hopefuls. Even the recent summit of the Harris County, Texas, Republicans managed to pull in Quayle, Forbes, Keating, Ashcroft, and Bauer. If you held a family reunion, you could probably get Ashcroft, Keyes, and Forbes to give stump speeches at the barbecue. The RPH trolls for endorsements. The RPH knows he needs support from the opinion-making class to win in 2000. The RPH has almost certainly appeared on Evans & Novak . If he's lucky, the RPH has been championed by a pundit: Cal Thomas just wrote a paean to Quayle. Kasich won a full-throated cheer from the New York Times Magazine . There is one endorsement the RPH seeks above all: Ralph Reed's . The RPH longs to sign the former Christian Coalition boss as a campaign consultant. Quayle, Kemp, Forbes, Alexander, Bush, Kasich, and Ashcroft have already met with Reed and kissed his ring. Perhaps the most important--and certainly most ridiculous--element of the pre-campaign is the early polls . Never has so much been made of such flimsy numbers. Ashcroft got a media boost when he finished first in a survey of Christian Coalition state chapter leaders. Forbes fans tout his top finish in a straw poll of Conservative Political Action Conference members. There have been national news stories based on straw polls of a few hundred party loyalists in Mississippi, Texas, and the Midwest. Recently, a 234-person phone poll by a New Hampshire TV station made headlines. There is a discouraging lesson in the polls for the RPH. Bush has finished first, easily, in every poll except the Christian Coalition's and CPAC's. He is also one of the few RPHs who eschews the pre-campaign. He's running for re-election as governor this fall, and he doesn't want Texans to worry that he'll skip out on them midway through his second term (which, of course, is exactly what he'd like to do). So Bush has no PAC and no book. He hasn't traveled to Iowa or New Hampshire, and he avoids most GOP conferences. Instead he's just governing and campaigning in Texas. This should frighten the daylights out of the RPH. Perhaps all the scheming, posturing, speechifying, and money-grubbing in the world can't help the RPH. Perhaps Republican voters really want to reward the doer--not the campaigner, not the pre-campaigner. If you missed the full list of Republican Presidential Hopefuls, click . You can also test your RPH knowledge with these quizzes about RPH and . Marion Barry Critics of Marion Barry--and who's not one--have been saying for years that his Washington, D.C., is like a Third World capital--squalid, dangerous, and corrupt. The District has never seemed more like a banana republic than in the past few weeks. Barry, America's mini-Suharto, has dragged it into an embarrassing, protracted drama: It is in rack and ruin, he had overstayed his welcome, everyone wanted him to leave, and he wasn't sure he wanted to oblige. From the beginning of April until this week, the mayor toyed with his city about whether to seek re-election to a fifth term this fall. Largely ignored during his current term, Barry was at the center of attention again. His Hamlet act had the city on edge, and he loved it. His press conferences were packed. The Washington Post launched a daily "Barry Watch" column. National media were calling. His every hint--and he dropped lots of them--was parsed for significance. Each week was supposed to be the week he announced his decision but, having the time of his life, Barry kept putting it off. Now, with his usual excruciating/exquisite sense of timing, Barry has followed Indonesian President Suharto's retirement announcement with his own. The inevitable comparisons to that dictator aside, Barry probably picked the right moment to bow out: He's on top again--briefly. A Tuesday Washington Post poll found that Barry is the front-runner for the Democratic primary, attracting 29 percent of voters, nearly twice as many as his closest competitor. For those who still can't believe the ex-crackhead was re-elected once, this survey was unfathomable. How could he be ahead? (I won't begin to justify all the bad reasons for Barry's popularity--race resentment, patronage, etc.--but will try to explain one good one .) Even for Washingtonians who had forgiven Barry his crimes, the prospect of another campaign appalled. The post-comeback Barry hasn't much changed his ways: He still favors racial rhetoric and Congress-bashing. (And he may not have shaken his worst old habits: The Last of the Black Emperors: The Hollow Comeback of Marion Barry in a New Age of Black Leaders , a new biography by longtime D.C. journalist Jonetta Rose Barras, alleges Barry may have bought drugs during his current term. It also alleges he made sexual advances toward male staffers. Barry has called the book "garbage.") The same Post poll that found Barry would win the 1998 Democratic primary also found that the vast majority of Washingtonians--two-thirds--preferred he not run. But Barry is a political creature: Why would he skip a race he thought he could win? The answer is that the Mayor Barry of 1998 is not the Mayor Barry of 1985. There is no good professional reason for him to hold office. He's scarcely mayor of anything. Since Barry returned to the office in January 1995, the District power structure has devoted itself to emasculating him. Within a few months of his inauguration, the Barry-loathing Republican Congress installed a Control Board to oversee the city's shaky finances. Congress and the Control Board soon stripped the mayor of authority to issue contracts or manage budgets. Last year, they usurped his control of the city bureaucracy, removing departments of public safety, welfare, health care, public works, and basically everything else that matters from his supervision. Barry was left with the dregs: recreation, libraries, the Office of Aging. (The transfer of power has been good news for the city, which has erased a huge deficit and begun to stem the exodus of middle-class residents.) Barry does still get to revel in the trappings of mayorhood. He continues to flounce around Washington like the emperor he once was. He has a limo at his beck and call. His personal security force included an incredible 30 officers until Congress forced him to halve it last year. A crowd of flunkies and yes-women surrounds him. Barry still issues self-aggrandizing statements in which he takes credit for things he didn't do and announces "initiatives" that will never be initiated. And he still takes grand foreign tours on which he behaves as if he is visiting royalty. (This week: Taiwan.) "Losing the actual power bothers him, but I don't think it's as big a deal as the aura of power," says a longtime friend. "It's not just the limo, because anyone can have a limo. He is the Mayor . He really enjoys being The Man." But Barry recognized that the trappings of power were tenuous, too. If he had been re-elected, Congress would have probably punished him by cutting his salary; eliminating the security guards who remain; and stripping him of the few, pathetic agencies he does control. Not having lost his sharpness, Barry understood the emptiness of his position. If re-elected, he would be a nonentity, and Marion Barry cannot stand to be a nonentity. So why not hand the job off? Congress will be more likely to return home rule and rearm the mayor if Barry is gone. Besides, he has nothing left to prove. He already has made the greatest political comeback in U.S. history. The Post poll predicting a Barry primary win allows him to quit with a bang, not a whimper: "He can go out saying, 'See, they still love me. I told you I would win. Bye ,y'all,' " says Barras. Barry's friends and local business leaders have been trying for months to find a way to let him exit with honor--to give him a gracious payoff in exchange for his decision to step down. It's a good idea. Barry has been a public servant--of a sort--and America traditionally finds respectable retirements for its former leaders. Pols spend their dotage as think tank "scholars" or consultants or part-time lobbyists (see: Bob Dole) and are trotted out periodically for sage commentary. Even if Barry doesn't quite deserve the same, Washington deserves not to have its ex-mayor disgraced. Barry's retirement team has talked to local universities and historically black colleges about a position for him. He is also planning lecture tours and shopping a memoir. And there is even talk that Barry will be hired as a top executive by a local business. Given his track record as the District's mayor, you might want to sell your stock in that company. If you missed the sidebar about the one good reason to support Barry, click . Forgetting the Present George Santayana predicted an unfortunate fate for those who cannot remember the past. What would he say about political leaders who cannot even remember the present? Take, for example, President Clinton's promise in his Democratic Convention speech--repeated more than once in Sunday night's debate--that he would offset the harsh effects of the recently passed welfare rollback by giving "businesses a tax credit for every person hired off welfare and kept employed." What a can't-miss idea. The very words fairly glow: "tax credit," "businesses," "off welfare," "employed." Trouble is, we already have such a tax credit--it just got renewed as part of the minimum-wage bill, and it's a proven failure. The Targeted Jobs Tax Credit (a k a the Work Opportunity Tax Credit) has been a ghastly disappointment ever since it was enacted in 1978. Early analysis showed that most employers using it didn't hire more or different people. Instead, they simply got their accountants to review personnel records at year's end to see who among recent hires might qualify for the tax credit. Tighter rules have, presumably, curbed that abuse, but far more damaging findings emerged from a couple of controlled experiments in Dayton, Ohio, and two cities in Wisconsin. To their surprise and dismay, researchers found that when eligible job seekers (welfare recipients and other categories of "disadvantaged" workers) were sent off to potential employers bearing in hand the tax credits or vouchers that labeled them as high-risk cases, they were less likely--far less likely--to find jobs than if they just applied on their own. And that was back when the tax credit was considerably more generous than it is now. From these and other studies, says Brookings economist Gary Burtless, who participated in many of them, "we can safely conclude that sending someone out in the market saying, 'Hire me, I'm for sale,' is a bad idea." For that matter, so are all the efforts to engineer social and economic behavior through the tax code of which Clinton is so enamored--the embellished tax preferences for buying and selling homes, having a child or putting one in day care, sending the kids to college or going back yourself, saving up for a nursing home, and so on. There's so much evidence on this point that in 1986, both parties in Congress agreed that tax subsidies are, at best, an inefficient way to promote desired behavior, since most of the money goes to pay for things that are going to happen anyway. At worst, they are a complete rip-off, since they are almost impossible for the IRS to monitor. Congress gave the tax code a much-needed cleanup job, with lower rates as the reward, and everyone promised they wouldn't junk it up again. But that was 10 long years ago, and no one would expect a politician to remember that far back. Let's return to the forgotten present. Attention-deficit disorder is also afflicting the Dole team. On the campaign trail, Dole was still calling for the misbegotten Homemaker IRA a week after it had passed into law. Dole has apparently not forgotten his own past record on taxes--he correctly, if ineffectually, pointed out during Sunday's debate that his 1982 tax bill was not a true tax hike, as normally understood, but primarily a canceling of corporate tax breaks not yet in place and crackdowns on cheaters to collect taxes already owed. (He did fail to note that the Social Security bailout of the early '80s, about which he also bragged repeatedly, included a large tax increase.) But Dole's grasp of specifics seemed a lot less secure when it came to defending his current plan to cut taxes by some $550 billion over the next six years while still balancing the budget. (Clinton also managed to forget the incredible elements in his own seven-year budget-balancing plan, as he touted it repeatedly during the debate.) The architects of Dole's tax plan argue that critics have paid far too much attention to the relatively modest "supply-side" feedback effects counted on to pump up tax collections by promoting growth and reducing tax avoidance. The real guts, they contend, lie in the promised budget cuts, which, since they amount to a mere nickel out of every dollar of cut-able programs over the six-year period, are surely an easily achievable target. A mere nickel? Piece o' cake. Or at least you might think so if last week's action in Washington escaped your attention. Congress and the president indulged in a round of mutual self-congratulation over their agreement on an appropriations package for the new fiscal year. "You guys did such a great job," President Clinton told congressional leaders as they finished up on their work, "You should really be proud." Gee, and they didn't have to close down the government even once. Just one small detail that might have given Dole and his illustrious advisers a moment's pause: The appropriations measures, while restrained by recent standards, nonetheless weigh in at probably $16 billion over the target the GOP Congress set for domestic discretionary spending only a year ago. The Republicans will argue the shortfall isn't that big, because they are going to cover some of it by onetime savings: dipping into the bank insurance funds--never mind the S&L collapse, that was eons ago--and, of course, selling off part of the broadcast spectrum-- the most oversold commodity since the Brooklyn Bridge. Didn't anyone remind them that Dole had already reserved the spectrum sale to help pay for his tax-cut plan? A $16 billion discrepancy may not seem much when measured against the total budget, with all its sacrosanct or unavoidable obligations. But it's a significant shortfall if you are sufficiently present-minded to recall that Congress (and the president) have separately committed themselves to mammoth--and almost entirely unspecified--cuts in the magical year of 2002, when the budget is to alight, if only for a moment, on balance. And it is on top of these cuts--before the first small step of which the Congress and the president just blinked--that the additional Dole cuts are to be made, an amount totaling close to 40 percent of the vulnerable part of the budget. Assuming the bare-bones basic functions of government are to be maintained, where then will be the room for any border-control guards or anti-terrorism measures, or Head Start or education grants or peanut subsidies or national parks, or disaster relief--let alone the enhancements that Congress deemed so necessary this October? No doubt--as former Congressional Budget Office Director Bob Reischauer points out--with all the election-year pressure on Republicans to show they really aren't so bad and the temptation for Clinton to show his newfound muscle, the final appropriations package isn't bad. That is, as Reischauer quickly adds, "if budget balance is your prime desire and you believe that cuts in discretionary spending are the way to go." But that, of course, is the real and present issue that neither congressional party addressed, transfixed as they and the media are by the fantasy budgets offered on the campaign trail by their respective standard-bearers. A budget is not a mere political prop: Whether by design or inadvertence, it's the end product of politics, the actual blueprint for government's role in society. This budget makes some big--if dubious--choices, if only implicitly. The Pentagon gets an extra $9.4 billion this year (with more to come) for weapons systems and other sundries it doesn't want, only a few weeks after another set of committees decided to cut $21.2 billion from programs for the needy over this and the next two years. But most important choices were not made. Social Security's problems won't be manifest until the next century, but it would be both easier and kinder to start making modest reforms now. Medicare, on the other hand, is exploding right now. So, for that matter, is the world's population. But overseas family-planning programs, despite minor restoration, were left at a funding level more than a third below that of a few years ago. Political leaders are often faulted for living in the past or ignoring the future. We'd be lucky if ours simply got a firm hold on the here and now. Bringing Up Mother Parents have long been a terrible disappointment to the child-care community. When questioned, they persistently fail to express dissatisfaction with their current child-care arrangements or even much difficulty in finding such care. Yet, with equal persistence, experts keep proclaiming a child-care crisis. The latest hue and cry has been raised in regard to the 1996 welfare-reform legislation that aims to send millions of welfare mothers into the labor force, and their kids, presumably, into surrogate care. Critics of the new law argue that suitable care is in short supply. (For an example of the concern, see Peter Edelman's "Dialogue" in Slate with Mickey Kaus.) Yet past experience suggests that parents who want to work can and will find child care that suits their needs. Way back in 1968, when custodial care for kids first became the causists' favorite cause clbre , the federal Children's Bureau and Women's Bureau jointly issued the findings of a survey they had conducted. The study, said the foreword, "clearly indicates how urgent is the need for large-scale expansion of day care services." If so, you would have a hard time telling it from the data presented. When questioned, mothers of 92 percent of the children covered said they thought their child-care arrangements were quite satisfactory. This clash of perceptions is accounted for by the fact that most of the children in question, 98 percent to be exact, were not being cared for in the type of setting the researchers favored--a licensed day-care center, nursery school, or like facility. Most were being cared for by relatives, friends, or small-scale care providers. Some 8 percent were "latch-key" children who were expected to look after themselves. These, moreover, were the days when federal planners set utopian standards for acceptable care. When the Department of Health, Education and Welfare decided to set up its own center for employees' kids, it found it could not meet the requirements for windows and outlets per square foot, nutritionists and therapists per square child, and so on. More than two decades later, parents and policy-makers are still disagreeing. In 1990, the last year in which a comprehensive survey was done, 96 percent of parents said they were satisfied (79 percent were "very satisfied") with their care arrangements. Sandra Clark, a researcher at the Urban Institute, notes that parents may be embarrassed to admit they leave their kids in questionable settings. And for many "working-poor" families, day-care expenses are an enormous burden. But even when parents were asked if they would prefer other arrangements--and who among us resists betterment?--only 26 percent answered yes. But it is not only child-care advocates who have been frustrated by the research findings. Last week brought disappointing news to another faction in the day-care battle: those who deplore the whole institution as harmful to the nation's children. No doubt to the annoyance and disbelief of day-care opponents, such as the Rockford Institute and the Center on the Family in America, a study newly released by the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development found that day care does not hinder a child's intellectual development. Nor, except for a small effect for very young children in long hours of care, does it affect their emotional bond with their mothers. Many more children, of course, are in licensed centers than was the case in 1968. Current center capacity is estimated at some 5 million kids. Still, the 1990 survey found only 28 percent of preschoolers with working moms were in center care. Another 20 percent were in licensed day-care homes. As you would expect, higher-income mothers are more likely to use relatively expensive center care than are the working poor; but, thanks to government subsidies, the "non-working poor"--i.e., welfare mothers--are almost as likely as middle-class working mothers to have their youngest kids in centers. Center care is not, however, a guarantee of quality. Nor is price. Quality, the Urban Institute's Sandra Clark points out, is not an easy thing to measure. Still, according to the new study, the quality of the care does matter--especially whether the caregivers talk and interact with the children frequently. A flurry of recent research, recently reported in a Time magazine cover story, points to the importance of early stimulation in the later development of a baby's brain. (And with a quarter of high-school seniors being rated functionally illiterate on standard reading tests, it seems pretty clear that some additional stimulation is needed.) Yet many centers, especially those neither serving higher-income families nor competing for government subsidies, are plagued by poorly trained, low-paid staff; high turnover; and insufficient supervision. And here is where the disappointing parents come in again. Testifying before a Senate committee in 1995, the University of Michigan's Sandra Hofferth reported that her studies show that while parents claim to care about quality, in the end they opt for "price and convenience." Researchers Suzanne W. Helburn and John R. Morris reached a similar conclusion in a 1995 study of the market: "A major cause of the mediocre quality found in the child care industry--both center and family care--is the lack of demand for it." They recommend finding a way to "alarm parents so they ... confront the conflict between adult fulfillment versus children's developmental needs." All three of these experts, and others besides, point to a misdirection of federal resources. The government does provide direct day-care subsidies to 1.1 million low-income children (the four main programs currently spend about $2.3 billion a year, in addition to about $4 billion for Head Start), and some of those subsidies come with quality strings attached. But the largest single federal day-care subsidy is the Dependent Care Tax Credit, which now distributes more than $2.7 billion in tax rebates annually, mostly to middle- and higher-income families. And, Helburn and Morris point out, since tax credits can be used for any kind of care the parents choose--and parents being the way they are--tax breaks are "not good tools for ensuring good quality." (They may not even be good tools for buying day care. When the government in 1989 started asking parents to provide the Social Security number of their putative day-care provider, claims for credits dropped markedly.) From this perspective, the recently passed welfare reform could be a blessing to some kids. Advocates worry that if substantial numbers of welfare mothers are pushed into jobs, centers might be swamped by demands to serve as many as a million added kids. That probably won't happen. David Butler of the Manpower Development Research Corp., which has been the prime evaluator of welfare-to-work programs, points out that planners have routinely overestimated the amount of formal child care needed for such projects. And the new law also exempts from participation any mother with children under 6 for whom affordable, accessible, and suitable care cannot be found. On the plus side, the reforms will increase federal money for child care by more than $600 million a year. If states take advantage of the various incentives provided them (though few probably will), total federal and state support could expand from about $2.8 billion annually to almost $5 billion, according to Urban Institute estimates. States will also be freed from the hodgepodge of regulations that currently cause gaps in coverage as mothers move among home, training, and work. If many more welfare parents do find and hold jobs, their children might well benefit from the intellectually stimulating care many of their mothers cannot provide--if that's the sort of substitute care they actually get. Still, as last week's National Institute study points out, whatever effect day care has on kids is swamped by the impact of their own families. Kids with well-educated, emotionally stable mothers and secure economic circumstances tend to do fine, whether their mothers work or not. Others not so lucky in their parents or homes often do not. As Urban Institute senior fellow Isabel Sawhill notes, "we license day care centers, but we don't license parents." Perhaps we should. The Travails of Jordan The homecoming of Jordan's King Hussein was marked in Amman's mass circulation daily Al Ra'i Friday by an editorial asking that God might show him mercy "equal to the size of our prayers and love for our beloved king," but the Jordanian press was unable to report on the possible repercussions of his likely death because of government-imposed censorship. The Times of London's Middle East correspondent, Christopher Walker, reported Friday from Jordan that "public jitters could turn to panic despite efforts by palace officials to convey the impression of a smooth transfer of power to the new Crown Prince," Hussein's 37-year-old son and heir, Prince Abdullah. Walker said anxiety had been increased by "a clumsy purge of the local media" that had involved the imposition Thursday of a 15 day detention order on the editor of the Arab nationalist weekly Al-Majd after it had published the first full account of the deposition of Hassan, the king's younger brother, as crown prince. Al-Majd had revealed that Prince Hassan, 51, had laid down his revolver before the king and asked to be shot if Hussein thought he was a traitor. As part of the same purge, two senior editors of the popular Amman daily Al-Arab al-Yawm were fired by their board president, also for publishing unofficial accounts of the succession crisis, Walker wrote. The new English language Arab Daily said Thursday that the government's clampdown on "bad news" has "opened the door to rumors, inflicting a higher toll on the people than the truth would achieve." The king's health crisis led the front pages of many European papers, with La Repubblica of Rome and Corriere della Sera of Milan both carrying front-page editorials about him. La Repubblica 's editorial, titled "The Little Great King," recalled that Hussein had come to the throne in 1953, when "Stalin was still alive, Churchill still in Downing Street, and Eisenhower still to conclude his first term as president of the United States." The paper doubted that Crown Prince Abdullah has the experience to face the current dangers in the Middle East and concluded that "if the void left by the death of Hussein isn't filled, the whole of the region--not only Jordan--will be regretting the loss of 'the little king.' " Corriere della Sera said his death will "further complicate a Middle Eastern crisis fed by Arafat's difficulties and the paralysis caused by Israel's turbulent election campaign." It said, "Everyone will miss King Hussein. Soon we will know how much." Across the River Jordan in Israel, Ha'aretz Thursday pronounced the Wye agreement "buried," adding that far from achieving its purpose of extricating the peace process from an 18 month impasse, it had instead thrown up new barriers to progress. For this it put most of the blame on Benjamin Netanyahu. "More than five years after the signing of the Oslo accord, Netanyahu has turned Israeli-Palestinian relations and the entire peace process back into a zero-sum game," it said. "He cannot prove his claim that the Wye accord is better than the Oslo accord because he is not implementing it, nor can he attribute the current quiet to an unimplemented agreement. It is not yet too late to carry out the agreement, but there is no reason to expect that the prime minister will respect even his own signature." Across the Arab world, papers continued their outcry against America's policy toward Iraq. In Cairo, the English language Egyptian Gazette said Thursday that "virtually everybody agrees that Saddam Hussein's despicable and shuddering deeds qualify him for the title of the world's most notorious despot." But, like practically every other Arab paper, it condemned U.S. plans to replace him. It predicted that if Saddam were removed, he would be replaced by a "puppet regime," which would "spark bitter rivalries" and lead to a carve-up of the country. "This chaos is bound to spill over beyond the border into neighboring states," it concluded. The Bahrain daily Akhbar al-Khaleej rejoiced at the failure of Assistant Secretary of State Martin Indyk to obtain endorsement for America's plans from the five Gulf states he visited earlier in the week. Their refusal to support the toppling of the Iraqi regime would oblige Washington either to reconsider or to press ahead unilaterally in defiance of its allies and international law, the paper said. In Australia, where Sydney is to host the next Olympic Games, the row about corruption in the International Olympic Committee continued to dominate the newspapers. In an editorial Friday, the Sydney Morning Herald said the rot was systematic and that, as IOC president, "Juan Antonio Samaranch must carry the ultimate responsibility for the crisis that is engulfing the Olympic movement." It said, "He is not an answer to the problem. He represents the problem. ... This means that Mr Samaranch must resign now to allow a reformist leader to restore the shattered ideals of the IOC." In India, the Hindu led its front page Friday with a report that the United States had started to ease the sanctions it imposed after India's nuclear tests last year. It saw significance in America having given the go-ahead for a World Bank loan for a power project in Andhra Pradesh and its invitation of the Indian Chief of the Army Staff General V.P. Malik to attend a military ceremony in Hawaii later this month. Both the Times of India and the Pakistani paper Dawn reported a thaw in relations between their two countries. In Albania, the newspaper Klan reported that the country had become a paradise for drug traffickers because of the war in Bosnia. The war made it impossible for them to use their traditional routes through Yugoslavia, so they had turned to Albania, it said. "With its porous borders, inefficient government and extreme poverty, it was the perfect alternative," Klan added. "Within ten years the country has changed from being an isolated backwater into the chief departure terminal for Europe's drug trade." Feelin' Groovy Have you ever set the dials in your head to register with maximum sensitivity any new encounter with a particular word or phrase? I put the dials on high alert a few weeks ago for groovy , spurred by a spate of printed sightings. People magazine had just referred to Winona Ryder in passing as "the groovy gamine." The Washington Post at about the same time complimented the "groovy appearance" of the iMac computer. The Chicago Tribune published a list of Web sites for kids that it had found to be "full of groovy games." A commentary in the London Independent about Britain's fuddy-duddy Conservative Party and its forlorn attempts at image enhancement observed, "Here they are, doing their best to be a little bit groovy , a little bit New Labour, and what do we do? We snigger." Meanwhile, a communication from the editor of Slate brought my attention not so much to sightings as to hearings. He wrote: D----S----, a man not given to air quotes, just told me it was "groovy" that I would call him back later about something. Young R----, a summer intern, used the word constantly but with a smirk. ... I've heard it used by grown-ups, without apparent irony, within the past hour. I guess it's gone the route of "cool"--revived as quaint and retro by young 'uns and gradually de-ironized. I assume the term originated as a '40s or '50s hip allusion to the LP record. But maybe not. Well, close. Briefly, the word dates back to jazz circles in the 1930s and ultimately derives from the phrase "in the groove," meaning "performing or doing exceptionally well." What the "groove" in that phrase originally referred to is hard to establish definitively, because several meanings current in the 1930s all permit plausible theories. Many dictionaries do link the groove of in the groove to the groove of a record. But groove could also refer to the path between a pitcher and the strike zone (and had done so since the turn of the century); a pitcher who was throwing "in the groove" was throwing very well. Groove also had a vulgar sexual connotation, which could likewise give in the groove the connotation of high performance and pleasure. And groove could simply mean a "style," a sense associated with the parallel between being in a groove and being in a rut . (In the 19 th century, groovy actually meant "to be in a rut" or to be "of settled habits" or "conventional"; the first Oxford English Dictionary citation for this kind of grooviness is dated 1867.) In any event, by the 1940s groovy had expanded beyond the jazz world and--a harbinger of what would happen in the 1960s and '70s--was being used by nongroovy adults in a typically pathetic attempt to seem hip. Here's a Buick ad, cited by Thomas Dalzell, a lexicographer of slang, in his terrific book Flappers 2 Rappers : "Stand off and beam at Buick's years-ahead style--there's something not only favored by the old folks, but termed by the younger idea, definitely groovy !" The ad appeared in Newsweek in 1946. After the 1940s, groovy went dormant for a time; reference books begin to refer to it as "archaic" or "obsolete." Then came its re-emergence in Beat and hippie patois, and its ascension into totemic status, as the primary pop-cultural word that future generations would associate with the youth culture of the 1960s. (During the 1996 presidential campaign, David Letterman's "Top 10 ways Bob Dole is trying to appear younger" included the following at the No. 9 spot: "Peppers his speeches with words such as groovy and outasight .") A nuance that the future may not always appreciate, though, is how ironic or playfully self-conscious its usage usually was. I suspect that the word has long existed in a netherworld between interjectional utility and outright put-on. Perhaps an ingenuous minority used it innocently in its hippie heyday; but most often one heard it uttered with a bit of wonderment, as if the speaker couldn't believe that he or she was really using the word. Groovy continues to thrive, with the same sort of ambivalence attached to it. The experts disagree only about the full extent of its range. Anne H. Soukhanov, who oversaw the most recent (third) edition of the American Heritage Dictionary and is now the North American editor of the Encarta World English Dictionary , recalls coming across the word these days mostly in speech, "especially in sardonic and sarcastic replies to negative-context statements such as 'Dad, I just wrecked your new car' or 'This to inform you that the IRS has targeted you for a 10 year audit,' where its use as an interjectional reply parallels similar use of standard terms like 'beautiful,' 'terrific,' or 'great.' " John Morse, the editor of the Merriam-Webster dictionaries, sees groovy less as a bit of exotica and more as a robust adapter to an ever-changing present. "Often," he says, drawing on Merriam-Webster's voluminous citation files, "groovy is used in reference to something from, or reminiscent of, the 1960s (clothing, spiritualism, things that glow in black light), but just as often (actually, more often) the word appears to be used in reference to the contemporary scene. We have examples of trendy addresses in Miami Beach, biker-gal sunglasses, MTV videos, parties where hip-hop music is played, and jazz-rap crossover music all being described as groovy and all without hint of irony." The examples come from such publications as Rolling Stone , TV Guide , Elle , the Village Voice , and The New Yorker . "The word," says Morse, "appears to live on." It lives on, but its evolution seems to be taking different forms in captivity and in the wild. Such, at any rate, is slang specialist Dalzell's surmise, and the comments by Soukhanov (about the interjectional groovy ) and Morse (about groovy in printed citations) illustrate the point. In the wild--that is, in the more freewheeling and inflected realm of spoken language-- groovy thrives in a largely ironic state; the use of the word requires a context of wavelength synchrony between speaker and listener. In captivity--that is, in the more restrained and stylized realm of written language--examples of the nonironic groovy tend to predominate heavily. Groovy 's staying power--it has maintained its meaning and its presence for more than six decades--points up the robustness, and even the relative antiquity, of much of what seems like linguistic ephemera. Out of sight , meaning "incredibly wonderful" or "extraordinary," is as current as ever; it goes back not to the '60s but to the '40s--the 1840s. Cool has experienced a change of intonation in the 1990s, becoming nearly bisyllabic, but it has been widely used over diverse demographic terrain for most of the 20 th century, and it goes back as a term of admiration ("That's right [i.e., very] cool ") to the first half of the 19 th century. Duh , an interjection indicating stupidity or obviousness, emerged from 1940s animated cartoons, but its period of greatest efflorescence is probably occurring right now. It enjoys life not only as an interjection but also as a noun ("The movie's real duh of a raison d'tre"-- Village Voice ) and an adjective ("That's so duh you've got to smile"-- Los Angeles Times ). Bummer , one 1960s word that really did get its start in the '60s drug culture, is also proving its hardiness, a testament both to the term's euphony and to the ubiquity of bummers in the world at large. Cat , dig , and hipster are enjoying a resurgence. So are bitchin' and stoked . Every generation insists on having its own new words for the most aggressively up-to-date aspects of life. (Well, duh.) But it's also true, as never before, that the archives of sound and image constitute a continuous retro loop that people can--and will--draw on. The situation is oddly appropriate: The idea of retro in a rut restores grooviness to its original meaning. Unmitigated Gauls Fifteen years ago, just after Franois Mitterrand became president of France, I attended my first conference in Paris. I can't remember a thing about the conference itself, although my impressions of the food and wine--this was my first adult visit to the city--remain vivid. The only thing I do remember is a conversation over dinner ( canard aux olives ) with an adviser to the new government, who explained its plan to stimulate the economy with public spending while raising wages and maintaining a strong franc. To the Americans present this program sounded a bit, well, inconsistent. Wouldn't it, we asked him, be a recipe for a balance of payments crisis (which duly materialized a few months later)? "That's the trouble with you Anglo-Saxon economists--you're too wrapped up in your theories. You need to adopt a historical point of view." Some of us did, in fact, know a little history. Wasn't the plan eerily reminiscent of the failed program of Leon Blum's 1936 government? "Oh no, what we are doing is completely unprecedented." The French have no monopoly on intellectual pretensions or on muddled thinking. They may not even be more likely than other people to combine the two. There is, however, something special about the way the French political class discusses economics. In no other advanced country is the elite so willing to let fine phrases overrule hard thinking, to reject the lessons of experience in favor of delusions of grandeur. To an Anglo-Saxon economist, France's current problems do not seem particularly mysterious. Jobs in France are like apartments in New York City: Those who provide them are subject to detailed regulation by a government that is very solicitous of their occupants. A French employer must pay his workers well and provide generous benefits, and it is almost as hard to fire those workers as it is to evict a New York tenant. New York's pro-tenant policies have produced very good deals for some people, but they have also made it very hard for newcomers to find a place to live. France's policies have produced nice work if you can get it. But many people, especially the young, can't get it. And, given the generosity of unemployment benefits, many don't even try. True, some problems are easy to diagnose but hard to deal with. If George Pataki can't end rent control, why should we expect Jacques Chirac to be able to cure Eurosclerosis? But what is mysterious about France is that as far as one can tell, absolutely nobody of consequence accepts the obvious diagnosis. On the contrary, there seems to be an emerging consensus that what France needs is--guess what?--more regulation. Socialist leader Lionel Jospin's idea of a pro-employment policy is to require employers to pay workers the same money for fewer hours--an idea that was popular with voters, the recent election results would suggest. Even conservative Phillipe Seguin, regarded as an iconoclast by French standards because he has questioned the sacred goal of European monetary union, thinks that one way to add jobs is to ban self-service pumps at gas stations. Beyond more of the same, what does the French elite see as the answer to the nation's problems? For more than a decade its members have sought salvation in the idea of Europe--that is, a unified European economy (under French leadership, of course), with common regulations and a common currency. In such a continental market, they imagine, France can once again prosper. Now a unified European market is a pretty good idea. There is even a reasonable case for unifying Europe's currencies--although there is also a good case for doing no such thing. (There is a whole industry of people--Eurologists?--who make a living by debating that issue.) But to acknowledge the potential virtues of European economic integration risks missing the essential fatuousness of the whole project. France's problem is unemployment (currently almost 13 percent). Nothing else is even remotely as important. And whatever a unified market and a common currency may or may not achieve, they will do almost nothing to create jobs. Think of it this way: Imagine that several cities, all suffering housing shortages because of rent control, agree to make it easier for landlords in one city to own buildings in another. This is not a bad idea. It might even slightly increase the supply of apartments. But it is not going to get at the heart of the problem. Yet all the grand schemes for European integration amount to no more than that. Indeed, in practice the dream of European unity has actually made things worse. If you are going to have a common currency, everything we know suggests you should follow what Berkeley's Barry Eichengreen calls the Nike strategy. But instead of just doing it, European nations agreed to a seven-year transition period during which they would be required to meet a complex set of criteria--mainly to reduce their budget deficits while keeping their currencies strong. There is nothing wrong with balancing your budget. In fact, European nations need to do some serious fiscal housecleaning. And as the happy experience of America under Bill Clinton has shown, it is quite possible to reduce the deficit and increase employment at the same time. All you need to do is cut interest rates, so that private spending takes up the slack. But you can't cut interest rates if you are obliged to keep your currency strong. So the Maastricht Treaty (the blueprint for European currency union) ensured that the budget-cutting it required would be all pain and no gain. Nobody can make a precise estimate, but a guess is that without Maastricht, France might have an unemployment rate of 10 percent or 11 percent. Not great, but a couple of points better than now. While some French politicians have been willing to say nice things about budget deficits, nobody seems willing to challenge the dogma that European integration is the answer. Even Seguin the iconoclast declares that "the fight against unemployment is inseparable from the realization of the grand European design." But let us not blame French politicians. Their inanities only reflect the broader tone of economic debate in a nation prepared to blame its problems on everything but the obvious causes. France, say its best-selling authors and most popular talking heads, is the victim of globalization--although adroit use of red tape has held imports from low-wage countries to a level far below that in the United States (or Britain, where the unemployment rate is now only half that of France). France, they say, is the victim of savage, unrestrained capitalism--although it has the largest government and the smallest private sector of any large advanced country. France, they say, is the victim of currency speculators, whose ravages President Chirac once likened to those of AIDS. The refusal of the French elite to face up to what looks like reality to the rest of us may doom the very European dreams that have sustained the nation's illusions. After this last election it is clear that the French will not be willing to submit to serious fiscal discipline. Will the Germans still be willing to give up their beloved deutsche mark in favor of a currency partly managed by France? It is equally clear that France will not give up its taste for regulation--indeed, it will surely try to impose that taste on its more market-oriented neighbors, especially Britain. That will give those neighbors--yes, even Tony Blair--plenty of reason to hesitate before forming a closer European Union. But if it turns out that Chirac's political debacle is the beginning of a much larger disaster--the collapse of the whole vision of European glory that has obsessed France for so long--we can be sure of one thing: The French will blame it all on someone else. Saint Monica The majority of newspapers around the world disapproved of the impeachment trial of President Clinton and hoped for his acquittal. The exception was the British press, which divided along predictably partisan lines. Following the Senate votes, the conservative Daily Telegraph said, "a decent man would have resigned when his public lying had been revealed," whereas "Mr. Clinton hung on, correctly calculating that a mixture of brazenness, legal equivocation and personal charm would see him through." But the paper pronounced him "the lamest of ducks," which, it said, is "a loss not only to the Americans, but also to their friends around the world." The Times of London, another anti-Clinton paper, splashed the headline "Clinton: The Great Escape" across its front page and said in an editorial ("Suspended Sentence") that a "revival in Mr. Clinton's standing can only be achieved through foreign policy," which will require a huge investment of his time for uncertain returns. "Some [foreign policy initiatives] would invite internal opposition and risk damaging his precious poll numbers," the Times said. "That should not be an excuse for inaction. Alan Greenspan's financial decisions have been the making of the Clinton presidency. It is time that the Chief Executive made rather more of his presidency himself." In an editorial it called "The end of the Zipper," the liberal Guardian said one of the losers in the scandal was the American media, which constantly predicted a national mood swing against the president, when none was there. "They also compromised some of their own most cherished ethical standards, a mistake they may live to regret," the editorial said. It acknowledged, however, that three "stars" of the affair had emerged with credit: Monica Lewinsky "who showed some class in her testimony ... and who refused to surrender to the bullying of Mr. Starr's witchfinder-general"; the U.S. Constitution, which "showed it is robust enough to survive even the madness of 1990s puritanism"; and the American people, who held their nerve throughout and "were able to distinguish between the President and the man, accepting one even as they acknowledged the flaws in the other." The liberal Independent on Sunday , in an editorial headlined "The stained presidency," said that "to anyone sane it was always obvious that impeachment was a hideously inappropriate and disproportionate punishment for President Clinton's 'low crimes and misdemeanours,' " but that didn't absolve the man. "Clinton's behavior has been contemptible throughout, from his initial offences, to his legalistic evasions, to his unbearably mawkish and snivelling apologies," the paper said. "Although Clinton has shown again an astonishing talent for survival, it cannot be pleasant for him to contemplate how his presidency will be remembered by posterity." In Rome, La Repubblica focused on Clinton's loneliness as he prepared to repay, against Republican opposition, those who had stood by him for 13 months--the black lobby, the women's organizations, the left-wing Democrats, and his wife Hillary--who would now be presenting their bills. The paper said Saturday that Clinton's task in his remaining 18 months in office is to show that he has become a man. His first step--his apology to the American people in the Rose Garden on Friday--was "a step in that direction," La Repubblica said. It concluded, "Perhaps even Monica, watching him from afar, felt a last shudder of tenderness and regret for her ex-lover, so important and so alone." In its editorial Sunday headlined "The rout of the Starr judges," Le Monde of Paris called Clinton's victory in the Senate impeachment trial "the first serious setback for the crusade led by the neo-conservatives since the beginning of the 1980s to dictate the morality and sexuality of Americans." It said, "A certain America has triumphed over the other: that of humanist good sense has beaten that of the fundamentalist preachers, that which wants to preserve certain achievements of the 1960s has beaten that which wants to abolish them. ... The country has recognized itself more in Bill Clinton than in Kenneth Starr, and so much the better." Canada's most influential newspaper, the Toronto Globe and Mail , said Monday in an editorial that the reason Americans had forgiven Clinton his lies and misdemeanors was that he was a victim of entrapment--"by a politically motivated independent prosecutor ... using information that invaded his privacy and subjected him and his family to worldwide humiliation." The paper added, "If Mr. Clinton survives as something of a victim through all this, Monica Lewinsky survives as something of a heroine. Of all the people involved, she is the one who apparently never lied or knowingly broke a confidence. She never sought publicity about her affair with the President, and so far has done nothing to exploit it. ... Ms. Lewinsky has behaved with admirable restraint and dignity throughout the piece, the only player to come out entirely clean." In Egypt, the semi-official press was determined not to write off Clinton as a lame duck. "It is difficult to concede to the argument that, despite his acquittal, U.S. President Bill Clinton is likely to be paralyzed through his remaining period in office," Al Ahram said in an editorial Monday. But it pointed out that "some of Clinton's major achievements, such as the peace deal in Ireland, the strategic partnership with China and the Wye Plantation Memorandum between the Palestinians and the Israelis, have been attained at the peak of his crisis. ... It does not stand to reason, then, that the man who so succeeds while preoccupied with a moral scandal that could have cost him his seat at the Oval Office, would be paralyzed and disabled once the episode is over." Following Madeleine Albright's visit to Rambouillet, France, Sunday to inject some momentum into the stalled Kosovo talks, Le Figaro of Paris said Monday that there was a rare unity at the moment among the six members of the "contact group"--the four leading western European powers, Russia, and the United States--despite America's constant temptation to put NATO, "the unchallenged instrument of its politico-military domination of Europe," at the center of the stage, which, in the view of Paris and Moscow, would risk benefiting the Albanians and threatening only the Serbs. The paper said the most important question remained what would happen if an agreement isn't reached by the extended Feb. 20 deadline, and to that "nobody knows the answer." Libration carried a cartoon of a fierce-looking Albright brandishing a fly swatter and saying, "Make peace or shit!" But it said she had "broken the ice" at Rambouillet. As he prepared to leave London to set up an American Shakespeare Company in Los Angeles, Britain's most famous theater director, Sir Peter Hall, wrote in the Mail on Sunday that Prime Minister Tony Blair, promoter of "Cool Britannia," has in fact betrayed the arts by refusing them subsidies. Hall said that Britain has enjoyed "a half-century of pre-eminence in this field of endeavor" and that this could now be destroyed. "Never forget that, in Shakespeare's time, we created the greatest theater culture in the history of the world. ... Some 30 years after his death, the theaters had been destroyed, the actors dismissed and the playwrights sent into exile. The Roundheads had arrived. They seem to be visible again." Go Ahead Every night thousands of parents, following standard child-care advice, engage in a bloodcurdling ritual. They put their several-months-old infant in a crib, leave the room, and studiously ignore its crying. The crying may go on for 20 or 30 minutes before a parent is allowed to return. The baby may then be patted but not picked up, and the parent must quickly leave, after which the crying typically resumes. Eventually sleep comes, but the ritual recurs when the child awakes during the night. The same thing happens the next night, except that the parent must wait five minutes longer before the designated patting. This goes on for a week, two weeks, maybe even a month. If all goes well, the day finally arrives when the child can fall asleep without fuss and go the whole night without being fed. For Mommy and Daddy, it's Miller time. This is known as "Ferberizing" a child, after Richard Ferber, America's best-known expert on infant sleep. Many parents find his prescribed boot camp for babies agonizing, but they persist because they've been assured it's harmless. Ferber depicts the ritual as the child's natural progress toward nocturnal self-reliance. What sounds to the untrained ear like a baby wailing in desperate protest of abandonment is described by Ferber as a child "learning the new associations." At this point I should own up to my bias: My wife and I are failed Ferberizers. When our first daughter proved capable of crying for 45 minutes without reloading, we gave up and let her sleep in our bed. When our second daughter showed up three years later, we didn't even bother to set up the crib. She wasn't too vocal and seemed a better candidate for Ferberization, but we'd found we liked sleeping with a baby. How did we have the hubris to defy the mainstream of current child-care wisdom? That brings me to my second bias (hauntingly familiar to regular readers): Darwinism. For our species, the natural nighttime arrangement is for kids to sleep alongside their mothers for the first few years. At least, that's the norm in hunter-gatherer societies, the closest things we have to a model of the social environment in which humans evolved. Mothers nurse their children to sleep and then nurse on demand through the night. Sounds taxing, but it's not. When the baby cries, the mother starts nursing reflexively, often without really waking up. If she does reach consciousness, she soon fades back to sleep with the child. And the father, as I can personally attest, never leaves Z-town. So Ferberization, I submit, is unnatural. That doesn't necessarily mean it's bad. The technique may well be harmless (though maybe not, as we'll see below). I don't begrudge Ferber the right to preach Ferberization or parents who prefer sleeping sans child the right to practice it. Live and let live. What's annoying is the refusal of Ferber and other experts to reciprocate my magnanimity. They act as if parents like me are derelict, as if children need to fall asleep in a room alone. "Even if you and your child seem happy about his sharing your bed at night," writes Ferber, "and even if he seems to sleep well there, in the long run this habit will probably not be good for either of you." On television I've seen a father sheepishly admit to famous child-care guru T. Berry Brazelton that he likes sleeping with his toddler. You'd think the poor man had committed . Why, exactly, is it bad to sleep with your kids? Learning to sleep alone, says Ferber, lets your child "see himself as an independent individual." I'm puzzled. It isn't obvious to me how a baby would develop a robust sense of autonomy while being confined to a small cubicle with bars on the side and rendered powerless to influence its environment. (Nor is it obvious these days, when many kids spend 40 hours a week in day care, that they need extra autonomy training.) I'd be willing to look at the evidence behind this claim, but there isn't any. Comparing Ferberized with non-Ferberized kids as they grow up would tell us nothing--Ferberizing and non-Ferberizing parents no doubt tend to have broadly different approaches to child-rearing, and they probably have different cultural milieus. We can't control our variables. Lacking data, people like Ferber and Brazelton make creative assertions about what's going on inside the child's head. Ferber says that if you let a toddler sleep between you and your spouse, "in a sense separating the two of you, he may feel too powerful and become worried." Well, he may, I guess. Or he may just feel cozy. Hard to say (though they certainly look cozy). Brazelton tells us that when a child wakes up at night and you refuse to retrieve her from the crib, "she won't like it, but she'll understand." Oh. According to Ferber, the trouble with letting a child who fears sleeping alone into your bed is that "you are not really solving the problem. There must be a reason why he is so fearful." Yes, there must. Here's one candidate. Maybe your child's brain was designed by natural selection over millions of years during which mothers slept with their babies. Maybe back then if babies found themselves completely alone at night it often meant something horrific had happened--the mother had been eaten by a beast, say. Maybe the young brain is designed to respond to this situation by screaming frantically so that any relatives within earshot will discover the child. Maybe, in short, the reason that kids left alone sound terrified is that kids left alone naturally get terrified. Just a theory. Afew weeks of nightly terror presumably won't scar a child for life. Humans are resilient, by design. If Ferber's gospel harms kids, it's more likely doing so via a second route: the denial of mother's milk to the child at night. Breast milk, researchers are finding, is a kind of "external placenta," loaded with hormones masterfully engineered to assist development. One study found that it boosts IQ. Presumably most breast-feeding benefits can be delivered via daytime nursing. Still, we certainly don't know that an 11-hour nightly gap in the feeding schedule isn't doing harm. And we do know that such a gap isn't part of nature's plan for a five-month-old child--at least, to judge by hunter-gatherer societies. Or to judge by the milk itself: It is thin and watery--typical of species that nurse frequently. Or to judge by the mothers: Failing to nurse at night can lead to painful engorgement or even breast infection. Meanwhile, as all available evidence suggests that nighttime feeding is natural, Ferber asserts the opposite. If after three months of age your baby wakes at night and wants to be fed, "she is developing a sleep problem." Idon't generally complain about oppressive patriarchal social structures, but Ferberism is a good example of one. As "family bed" boosters have noted, male physicians, who have no idea what motherhood is like, have cowed women for decades into doing unnatural and destructive things. For a while doctors said mothers shouldn't feed more than once every four hours. Now they admit they were wrong. For a while they pushed bottle feeding. Now they admit this was wrong. For a while they told pregnant women to keep weight gains minimal (and some women did so by smoking more cigarettes!). Wrong again. Now they're telling mothers to deny food to infants all night long once the kids are a few months old. There are signs that yet another well-advised retreat is underway. Though Ferber hasn't put out the white flag, Brazelton is sounding less and less dismissive of parents who sleep with their kids. (Not surprisingly, the least dismissive big-name child-care expert is a woman, Penelope Leach.) Better late than never. But in child care, as in the behavioral sciences generally, we could have saved ourselves a lot of time and trouble by recognizing at the outset that people are animals, and pondering the implications of that fact. Uninsured-Motorist Fun Ten years ago, an economics professor named Randall Wright resigned from his job at Cornell and drove his Dodge Daytona Turbo down to Philadelphia to begin teaching at the University of Pennsylvania. When Professor Wright found out how much Philadelphians pay to insure their cars, he gave up driving. If you live in Philadelphia, your auto insurance probably costs about three times what it would in Milwaukee--and more than twice what it would in Seattle. Philadelphians have traditionally paid more for insurance than their counterparts in Baltimore, Chicago, and Cleveland, despite much higher theft rates in those other cities. This led Wright to ask a question that ultimately became the provocative title for an article in the prestigious American Economic Review : "Why is automobile insurance in Philadelphia so damn expensive?" Areasonable first guess is that the answer has little to do with economics and much to do with the behavior of state regulatory agencies. But the facts don't support that guess. Pittsburgh is in the same state as Philadelphia, and Wright could have insured his car in Pittsburgh for less than half the Philadelphia price, even though Pittsburgh's theft rate was then more than double Philadelphia's rate. Other states provide equally striking contrasts: San Jose, Calif., is much cheaper than neighboring San Francisco; Jacksonville, Fla., is much cheaper than Miami; Kansas City, Mo., is much cheaper than St. Louis, Mo. While Wright was puzzling over these discrepancies, a Penn graduate student named Eric Smith was involved in an auto accident. The other driver was at fault, but he had few assets and no insurance, so Smith had to collect from his own insurer. That unpleasant experience gave Smith and Wright the insight that led to a new theory of insurance pricing. In brief, the theory is that uninsured drivers cause high premiums, and high premiums cause uninsured drivers. In somewhat more detail, a plethora of uninsured drivers increases the chance that, like Smith, you'll have to collect from your own insurer even when you're not at fault. To compensate for that risk, insurers charge higher premiums. But when premiums are high, more people opt against buying insurance, thereby creating the plethora of uninsured drivers and completing the vicious circle. Once a city enters that vicious circle, it can't escape. In other words, insurance rates are driven by self-fulfilling prophecies. If everyone expects a lot of uninsured drivers, insurers charge high premiums and then many drivers choose to be uninsured. Conversely, if everyone expects most drivers to be insured, insurers charge low premiums and then most drivers choose to be insured. Either outcome is self-reinforcing. A city that falls into either category (for whatever random reasons) remains there indefinitely. So it's possible that modern Philadelphians are paying an exorbitant price for a brief outbreak of pessimism among their grandparents. If, for just one brief moment--and contrary to all past evidence--Philadelphians could believe that insurance rates will fall and their neighbors will become insured, that belief alone could cause insurance rates to fall and the neighbors to become insured. And then forever after, Philadelphia's insurance market might look like Milwaukee's. It's not certain that a burst of optimism would be so richly rewarded; the Milwaukee-style outcome will be undermined if Philadelphia is home to enough of the "hard-core uninsured," who are unwilling to insure themselves even at Milwaukee prices. The Smith-Wright theory predicts that some cities, but not all cities, have the potential to maintain low insurance premiums in the long run. But in cases where that potential exists, it would be nice to see it realized. One way to accomplish that is by enforcing mandatory-insurance laws. (Smith and Wright point out that enacting a mandatory-insurance law, which a majority of the states have already done, is not the same as enforcing a mandatory-insurance law, which is nearly unheard of. Moreover, even where the laws are enforced, minimum liability limits are typically very low, and probably too low to make much difference.) In theory, mandatory insurance could make life better for everyone , including those who currently prefer to be uninsured. Philadelphians who are unwilling to buy insurance for $2,000 might welcome the opportunity to buy insurance for $500. So if mandatory insurance yields a dramatic drop in premiums, then both the previously insured and the newly insured can benefit. (In practice, there will probably be a small segment of the population-- presumably at the low end of the income distribution--who will be unhappy about having to buy insurance even at $500. But income-based insurance subsidies would allow even the poorest of the poor to share the benefits of lower premiums.) For ideological free-marketeers (like myself), theories like Smith and Wright's can be intellectually jarring. We are accustomed to defending free markets as the guarantors of both liberty and prosperity, but here's a case where liberty and prosperity are at odds: By forcing people to act against their own self-interest in the short run, governments can make everybody more prosperous in the long run. (Though some diehard libertarians will object that the prosperity is an illusion, because governments that have been empowered to make us more prosperous will inevitably abuse that power to our detriment.) Is it worth sacrificing a small amount of freedom for cheaper auto insurance? I am inclined to believe that the answer is yes, but the question makes me squirm a bit. Booked Up Following a survey of our wall space, plus of the attic, the garage, the basement, and every closet in the house, my wife has estimated that I own something on the order of 14,000 books--enough, she points out, that if I read one a day for the rest of my life, there's an excellent chance I won't live long enough to finish them all. Still, I keep buying books at an alarming rate. That's only partly because I'm attempting to deny my own mortality. It's also because buying books is so much fun these days. Of course, there have always been plenty of ways to have fun buying books--such as prowling through cavernous used-book stores in search of hidden treasure or, for Washington, D.C., residents, driving three hours through glorious Virginia countryside to attend the equally glorious Green Valley Book Fair. But two recent innovations have ushered in a true golden age of obsessive book shopping: You can head over to a luxurious store such as Barnes & Noble, lounge in comfortable chairs, sip coffee, and listen to music while you contemplate your selections. Or, if you prefer, you can shop from a Web-based service such as Amazon.com, which offers a sophisticated search engine, reviews at your fingertips and, best of all, one-click ordering. Ordering from Amazon is so easy that I often come away from a virtual visit with the exhilarating sense of not having the vaguest idea how many books I've just purchased. By and large, the amenities you get from Barnes & Noble are quite a bit costlier to provide than the amenities you get from Amazon. One reason B & N feels so comfortable is that it's spacious--and space costs money. By letting you browse among physical books, B & N invites damage and theft. The well-stocked shelves require a substantial investment in inventory. Amazon avoids most of those costs, and it passes some of the savings on to the consumer--popular hardbacks (except for best sellers) are typically about 20 percent cheaper at Amazon. You can enjoy luxury at B & N, or you can enjoy convenience and low prices at Amazon. So far, so good. The market offers a range of options. Those options that provide consumers with sufficient value will thrive; in the long run, those that fail to justify their costs will face extinction. If enough consumers are willing to pay B & N prices for B & N comfort, B & N will prosper; if not, not. Either way, economists will applaud the triumph of consumer sovereignty. Likewise, if enough consumers are willing to sacrifice physical browsing for Amazon discounts and convenience, Amazon will prosper; if not, not. Once again, economists will stand ready to endorse the judgment of the marketplace. But there's another potential outcome, and it's one that economists would not endorse. Some consumers browse in the comfortable atmosphere of Barnes & Noble but then head home to buy their books from Amazon at discount prices. In sufficient numbers, such consumers could spell B & N's demise. (Even in much smaller numbers, those consumers surely limit B & N's growth and its willingness to provide even greater comforts to its patrons.) It's one thing to watch a business fail because of its own inefficiency; that's just the market doing its job. But its quite another thing to watch a business fail because it's efficiently providing a service for which consumers have managed to avoid paying. In the scenario I've envisioned, B & N falls victim to the economic equivalent (though not, I think, the moral equivalent) of theft. Among the ultimate losers are book shoppers themselves. How can this disagreeable outcome be avoided? One solution is for the bookstores to own the Web sites; B & N won't mind losing business to one of its own subsidiaries. And to a certain extent that's happening: It, and other large "superstores" such as Borders, has begun operating Amazon-like sites. But as long as Amazon itself remains independent and holds a substantial market share, at least a part of the problem remains. In principle, publishers could come to B & N's rescue by pressuring Amazon to raise its prices. (Amazon relies on publishers for timely book shipments, so the instruments of pressure are readily at hand.) But publishers might or might not want to play that role. On the one hand, they have a considerable stake in the success of large and luxurious bookstores; on the other hand, they also have a considerable stake in the success of services like Amazon. My friends in the publishing industry tell me that, on balance, they wish Amazon well. At other times and in other industries, things have gone the other way. For many years, the Schwinn Bicycle Co. famously refused to supply bicycles to discounters. In recent decades, the manufacturers of mattresses, patent medicines, electronics equipment, herbicides, and light bulbs have insisted that their products be sold only at the full retail price. Why would Schwinn want to maintain a high retail price for bicycles? The naive explanation is that manufacturers always like high prices. But that's too naive: The price Schwinn cares about is the wholesale price, and it controls that directly. A more plausible story is that bicycle shoppers like to visit fancy showrooms with knowledgeable sales staffs but then buy from discounters. Eventually, retailers recognize that there is no reward to offering quality service, and the fancy showrooms disappear. Customers are made worse off, and so is Schwinn, as there is now less reason to prefer a Schwinn bicycle to others. By forbidding its dealers to compete with each other via prices, Schwinn forces them to compete with each other via quality of service, to the ultimate benefit of consumers. That was exactly the reasoning endorsed by the Supreme Court in 1988, when it upheld the right of Sharp Electronics to terminate the dealership of a chronic discounter. In its Sharp decision, the court showed an admirable understanding and respect for economic theory. Not so the New York Times , which editorially called for legislation to overturn the ruling. The Times asked for compromise legislation that would give manufacturers the right to "set high standards for service and refuse to supply retailers who don't meet them," while denying manufacturers the right to set prices. But in the presence of competition among dealers, there is no difference between setting a standard of service and setting a retail price: For a given service standard, competition will lower the price until it's commensurate with the service standard, and for a given price, competition will raise the service standard until it's commensurate with the price. The Times ' prescription is comparable to allowing people to choose how much to sleep while forbidding them from choosing how much to stay awake; the reality is that you can't choose one without choosing the other. So, as the Supreme Court recognized, discounters can be clearly detrimental to both manufacturers and consumers in the market for electronics or bicycles. But when it comes to books, the analysis is a lot less clear-cut, and here's why: A discount bicycle dealer offers nothing but low prices, whereas a Web-based discount book dealer also offers special services you can't get from a bookstore--such as the convenience of shopping from home. That's why bicycle and electronics firms have been so keen to stop the discounters while publishers have laid out a tentative welcome mat. Therapeutic Laws Bill Clinton wants to be an activist chief executive, but a paradox of his own making stands in the way. In his last State of the Union address, he repudiated big government. "We know there's not a program for every problem," he said. "The era of big government is over." With the help of Dick Morris, Clinton has turned this paradox, this--let's face it--logical contradiction, into an electoral strength. Clever rhetoric has helped. But so did his embrace of what might be called "therapeutic legislation." Therapeutic legislation is intended to make people feel good, not actually to accomplish anything. Sometimes, it addresses a virtually nonexistent problem or, at least, a problem that ranks lower on any sensible scale of national concerns than the fuss and self-congratulation would indicate. Sometimes, it addresses real, major problems, but in an almost totally symbolic manner. Often, therapeutic legislation exploits the electorate's short attention span, its capacity to become suddenly obsessed with an issue and then--especially if provided with legislative catharsis--to forget it just as quickly. In any case, therapeutic legislation costs the taxpayer little or nothing and generally offends almost no one. (In an important subclass of therapeutic legislation, however, stagily offending an unpopular interest group--e.g., the tobacco lobby--is part of the therapy.) This week, Clinton signed another of the many therapeutic laws for which he has taken credit. This one makes stalking across interstate lines or on U.S. government property a federal offense, punishable by five years to life in prison. The law was sponsored by Sen. Kay Bailey Hutchison, Republican of Texas, proving that Democrats aren't alone in the dirty habit of pleasuring themselves this way. The anti-stalking law is typical of much therapeutic legislation in that it addresses a hunger for the federal government to do something about a matter--usually crime or education--that is properly the concern of the states. I wouldn't be so callous as to suggest that stalking isn't an urgent problem, fully worthy of immediate action by a Congress that can't pass a budget on time. But is stalking across state lines or on federal property really such a pressing concern? Undoubtedly it is terrifying when it happens (as it apparently happened to Sen. Hutchison). The reason Congress and the president have outlawed it with such a flourish, however, is as a way of expressing symbolic concern over stalking in general. Sen. Hutchison's office concedes that it has collected no information on the number of interstate stalking cases. Indeed, if there were thousands of interstate stalkers, if they did pose a serious law-enforcement problem, Hutchison's legislation would have smoked out some sort of constituency to oppose the bill. If a stalkers' lobby itself didn't pipe up, at least civil libertarians who deplore the double-jeopardy implications of a federal stalking law would have criticized it. Instead, Hutchison's solution to the nonproblem passed 99-0 in the Senate. A law that passes with no opposition is a good bet to be therapeutic legislation. (And it is doubly hypocritical for Republicans, who claim to believe in less government and in state government, to be clotting the federal statute books with laws that mess in areas of state concern.) M >any therapeutic laws are superfluous. Some are passed unanimously. But the defining characteristic of a therapeutic bill is its thrift: It doesn't increase the budget; it requires no new taxes; and it offends no special-interest group. The anti-stalking bill cost Clinton and several hundred members of Congress absolutely nothing, but allowed them to inflate their anti-crime rsums. A good third of Clinton's acceptance speech at the Democratic Convention was used to publicize therapeutic laws passed on his watch or new ones he wanted Congress to consider: He called for a ban on "cop-killer" bullets; reiterated his support for a victims'-rights constitutional amendment; argued for an extension of the Family and Medical Leave law and a measure to keep moms and their babies in hospitals longer than 48 hours; promoted a measure that would place taggents in explosives; and asked for a Brady Bill amendment to keep guns out of the hands of perpetrators of domestic violence. He touted the television V-chip; praised the Kennedy-Kassebaum law (an ultra-therapeutic law that guarantees portability of insurance but places no ceiling on the rates insurers can charge); applauded the ban on "assault" rifles; and bragged about the new FDA regulations that curb the advertising and sale of cigarettes to children. To much applause, he deplored the fact that "10 million children live within just four miles of a toxic waste dump" (four miles ?) and urged that we make it illegal "even to attempt to pollute" (whatever that means). Clinton isn't the only therapeutic politician, just the best. Linguistic nationalists are pushing their English-first measures. The ultrapatriotic want an amendment to ban flag-burning (hell, why not just mandate flag-waving?). The spit-and-polish crowd campaigns for school uniforms. The drug warriors seek more drug-free zones. To ward off child molesters, the city of San Mateo, Calif., has proposed background checks and fingerprinting of Little League coaches, den mothers, and others who volunteer their time to children (never mind, as the Wall Street Journal reports, that less than 10 percent of all child molestations take place in an institutional setting; that most accused child molesters have no previous convictions; and that child abuse is down in the '90s). And with the continued Balanced Budget Amendment follies, Congress indulges itself in the grandest of therapeutic fantasies. If it really wants to balance the budget it should just do so, rather than passing feel-good laws that say the budget should be balanced. No doubt somewhere in the above list I've included a law that you, dear reader, support and believe is more than merely therapeutic. Your particular law, or two, address problems fully worthy of a national fuss and Rose Garden signing ceremony. But surely even you will agree that most of these laws are merely therapeutic. We can all agree on that, without agreeing on which are the exceptions. Therapeutic laws become props for rhetoric that might be called demagoguery, except that it disgraces the memories of Joe McCarthy and Huey Long and the ambitions of Pat Buchanan to call Clinton a demagogue. The genuine demagogue assails minorities and labels his foes Communists. The modern "semigogue" speaks liltingly about children and education and health and public safety. He artfully constructs his debate to make his foes sound as if they are against children, for gun violence, against safe streets, and for pollution. The semigogue in chief has buried Dole with so many positives during this election season, it's enough to make you long for the days of negative campaigning. And for genuine activism. Even though my personal tastes in legislation tend toward the kind that begin, "Congress shall pass no law," I admired the old Bill Clinton who attempted to reorganize the $1 trillion health-care business and who forthrightly called for a workfare program that would cost more, not less, than simple handouts. That Clinton didn't pussyfoot around. He stood for what he believed in. He stimulated a thunderous and enlightening debate. He demonstrated to the electorate that real change is not cheap and easy. He also got his ass kicked. The Great Fleece Panic of '96 By Jack Shafer The capitalist horn of plenty emitted a flat note last month, just 15 days before Christmas. Or, at least, that was the sheet music provided by the New York Times ' Page One story "Tardy Catalogue Shoppers Risk Losing Out as Supplies Run Short" (Dec. 10, 1996). "[T]hat Gore-Tex hat for your brother-in-law" was out of stock at L.L. Bean and Lands' End, wrote Times reporter Jennifer Steinhauer. And the red silk pajama top from the Victoria's Secret catalog you had your eye on? Forget it. What's more, according to the Times , the mail-order-apparel folks were running out of all sorts of outerwear and slippers and silk undershirts and lace nightdresses just two weeks away from Christmas! "Shoppers may find they won't be able to get what they want if they don't order this week," Steinhauer warned, sounding more like a copywriter than a newswriter. "The most popular items appear to be outerwear and all things made of fleece. But one order went completely unfilled when L.L. Bean was called on Sunday for a 'cardinal' blanket, a hat, a pair of moccasins, a silk undershirt and a Stellar Scope." The Times story set off a panic--not among consumers--but among Steinhauer's fellow journalists. You may think of the Times as the Newspaper of Record; its competition thinks of it as the Racing Form , a national news tip sheet, and the Times ' choices about what's newsworthy are automatically cribbed by those lower in the editorial food chain. During the next two weeks, CNN, NPR, the Kansas City Star , the Detroit News , USA Today , and the CBS Evening News all did variations on the Times story, flogging consumers in the service of the capitalists with alarmist to semialarmist pieces about how mail-order retailers were running out of stuff. Joining the "Buy Now or You'll Regret It!" conspiracy was CBS News economic correspondent Ray Brady, whose derivative story aired 12 hours after the Times story hit the streets. Brady started with the "good news"--retail sales were up--but quickly uncovered the "bad news" embedded in the good news. (Economic news is like that. If somebody is making a killing, then surely somebody is dying.) "It's getting tougher and tougher to find what you want, especially if you're shopping from catalogs," Brady said, stoking the hysteria with his report of "tight stock" at Lands' End and L.L. Bean. Then, doing Steinhauer one better as a copywriter, Brady alerted viewers to similar shortages afflicting department stores, reporting that the shelves at Carson Pirie Scott were nearly empty! "Carson's said today, forget that last-minute stuff. Get here quick. Stocks are short. Many stores already are running tight on sizes and colors, particularly cashmere and outerwear: coats, hats, gloves." Stocks are short! Running tight! The New York Times and CBS Evening News have reported that the taupe-and-mauve Polartec sky is falling! Was there a great apparel shortage during Christmas 1996? Keeping her perspective through the media madness is Catherine Hartnett, spokeswoman for L.L. Bean, who says that this season marked a return to mail-order normalcy . The anomaly, as the Times story sort of acknowledges, was the downturn year of 1995, when Lands' End overordered and was left holding the excess inventory. (For some reason, Lands' End's 1995 surplus didn't spawn a "Procrastinating Catalogue Shoppers Get Whatever They Want as Late as They Want It" story in the Times .) As the Times reports, Lands' End overreacted to the bad year by ordering 20 percent less merchandise for 1996, and suffered for it. So, once again, was there a great apparel shortage in Christmas 1996? Part of the "shortage" was pure perception. Shoppers hold mail-order firms to a higher standard than department stores when it comes to keeping things in stock, because the catalogs afford them a photo and item number for every parka, turtleneck, and blazer ever placed in inventory. When those same shoppers shop at a department store, they have no way of knowing that it has sold all of its fleece-lined garage booties or Scotchgard triple-stitched Velcro workboots unless they ask a clerk or keep notes from previous visits. Also, the fact that mail-order retailers run out of their "most popular items" shouldn't be much of a surprise. For one thing, you define your "most popular items" by what you run out of. And for another, retailers hope to start running out of stuff two weeks before Christmas. If seasonal retailers like L.L. Bean and Lands' End kept everything in stock until Christmas Day, they'd go broke warehousing the unsold surplus or marking it down. The mail-order "shortages" also reflect the new-found fashion consciousness of retailers like Lands' End and L.L. Bean. These companies made their mark selling sturdy commodities like chamois cloth shirts and field boots that are easy to keep in stock because the demand for them is stable from year to year. Not so with trendy new items like Lands' End's $395 "ultimate cashmere sweater." The company's CEO despaired to USA Today that he couldn't purchase enough of them to meet demand, but that he was swimming in $25 canvas Christmas totes. Good economic news, as the man once said, always comes bundled with bad. During the Christmas season, L.L. Bean stocks about 10,000 items. On the same day the Times conspired with the forces of capitalism to herd recalcitrant consumers into buying, the company was down to about 7,000 items. As long as shoppers weren't insistent on a specific color or style, there was still enough stock on hand to keep America's Christmas trees from falling over and to clothe the Michigan and Montana militias. And, even at this late date, there's plenty of cold-weather gear available. If you doubt that, check your mailbox for the Winter '97 sale catalogs from L.L. Bean and Lands' End and the others. The horn of plenty is still gushing Headwall jackets and Penobscot Parka Gore-Tex shells and Double L shirts and Winter Woods hand-knit sweaters and Irish wool-blend herringbone scarves. At markdowns of up to 40 percent. Love 's Labor's Lost Scholarly opinion is mixed on Shakespeare in Love . In a New York Times op-ed piece earlier this month, Harvard Professor Stephen Greenblatt inveighed against the film's historical infelicities, errors that he attributed to Hollywood's moral cowardice. Where screenwriters Marc Norman and Tom Stoppard made Gwyneth Paltrow the inspiration for the young poet's love-struck "Shall I Compare Thee to a Summer's Day?" historians, Greenblatt scolded, know that the sonnet, like 125 others, was in all likelihood written to a young man. "How is it that a miserably undemocratic, unenlightened culture 400 years ago could be more tolerant of expressions of same-sex love, or the appearance of it, than our own?" he wondered. Greenblatt isn't against all forms of poetic license, though--just those that strike him as politically incorrect. He writes that several years ago he tried to persuade Norman to devise a screenplay about Shakespeare's relationship with the homosexual playwright Christopher Marlowe, whose murder in a tavern in 1593 forms a subplot to Shakespeare in Love . Other scholars are gentler on the film. In Newsweek , the usually grumpy Harold Bloom called it "charming"; Clemson University's James Andreas enthused, "Shakespeare was a pop phenomenon in his own age. Now, thanks to our modern media, he's becoming the real king of pop he always was." Mass Appeal According to recent reports in the New York Times and the New Republic , a Vatican-led crackdown on American Catholic colleges and universities is advancing. Among the most controversial of a plate of new proposals from a committee of American bishops: church approval of theology department hires, majority quotas of "faithful Catholics" for faculties and trustee boards, and professions of faith and fidelity to the church on the part of university presidents. The Vatican has no formal means of enforcing the standards. According to the Times , schools such as New York City's nominally Catholic Fordham University--where Mass is optional and the chair of the theology department isn't even Catholic--are nonetheless concerned about the potential impact on their reputations. Members of the Association of Catholic Colleges and Universities are trying to satisfy the Vatican but preserve academic freedom, student body diversity, and teaching quality. Don't Look Bakke The anti-affirmative action movement is urging students to sue their schools. Determined to abolish race preferences in higher education, the Center for Individual Rights of Washington, D.C., is funding a provocative ad campaign telling students that academic affirmative action policies "violate the law." The center successfully used this club against the University of Texas in 1996, arguing that the school was misreading the U.S. Supreme Court's Bakke decision. The New York Times says the center is currently going after the law schools of the University of Washington and the University of Michigan. Heinous! So dismayed are professors and administrators at the poor quality of their students' speech, reports the Boston Globe , that a number of schools, from Smith College to the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, are increasing classroom speaking requirements and offering electives to help students lose speech tics such as "whatever" and "you know." Says Smith President Ruth Simmons about the prevalent patois: "It's minimalist, it's reductionist, it's repetitive, it's imprecise, it's inarticulate, it's vernacular." Raising the Stakes Yale law professor and quirky constitutional historian Bruce Ackerman, testifying before the House of Representatives in December, argued that a newly elected Congress has little authority to try an official who was impeached by the previous one. Though Ackerman's claims were dismissed by anti-impeachment scholars such as Lawrence Tribe, they are not without their supporters, and he has now presented them in a minibook, The Case Against Lameduck Impeachment . Another project, written with Yale colleague Anne Alstott, is even more outr. In The Stakeholder Society , the pair present a novel plan to fight income inequality: Give all Americans a "capital stake" of $80,000 when they reach adulthood to spend as they wish. The money would be raised via taxes on the wealthiest 40 percent of the population and, eventually, the estates of deceased beneficiaries. The plan has been touted in the New York Times Magazine. Can a meeting with Al Gore (or at least Hillary Clinton) be far behind? How Green Was My Cali The critics are ganging up on social critic Mike Davis, the MacArthur fellow and Marxist deflater of Los Angeles' dreams and delusions. Local columnists have pointed out a number of errors and unsubstantiated stories in Davis' two books about Los Angeles: City of Quartz (1990) and Ecology of Fear (1998). The errors range from the trivial (misspelling the name of former Gov. George Deukmejian) to the significant (reporting that there are 2,000 gated communities in Los Angeles when there are, in fact, 100). The spat has attracted attention in the Los Angeles Times , the New York Times , and the Economist . Davis-bashing social critic Joel Kotkin declared, "What bothers me even as a person who was trained as a Marxist is that somebody would so bastardize Marxist theory to the point of making things up." But in The Nation , University of California, Irvine historian Jon Wiener contends that Davis is the victim of a campaign by city boosters to run their most persistent critic out of town. Davis, ironically, has accepted a history appointment 3,000 miles away--at Long Island's State University of New York at Stony Brook. Intelligences Report Harvard education guru Howard Gardner made a name for himself years ago with his theory of "multiple intelligences," which posited that many different kinds of intelligence--musical, spatial, linguistic, interpersonal, etc.--balanced differently in different people. A few months ago, James Traub, assessing the impact of Gardner's theory in the New Republic , charged that the multiple-intelligence movement has dumbed down the curriculum in many schools. But in the February Atlantic Monthly , Gardner renews his call for cognitive pluralism: Not only is there more than one kind of intelligence, but those intelligences, as he calls them, are only part of the story. He writes, "We should recognize that intelligences, creativity, and morality--to mention just three desiderata--are separate. Each may require its own form of measurement or assessment, and some will prove far easier to assess objectively than others." The Full Monica At the start of Monica Lewinsky's great week--the Andrew Morton book, the Barbara Walters interview, and an interview with British television's Channel 4 (for a reported $640,000)--the British press is full of her. "Britain will see more of Monica in March than any other country on the globe," the Independent of London boasted Monday, saying she would be touring bookshops, TV stations, and radio studios in a dozen British cities. "With all of us--or all of us who can still summon the interest--Monica will share the emotional journey she took when she fell in love with the leader of the free world and later fell into the cross-hairs of special prosecutor Starr," David Usborne wrote from New York. London's Sunday Mirror started the ball rolling with an "exclusive" interview with Andrew Golden, who described himself as the person who introduced Lewinsky to Morton and was "the first journalist ever to talk to America's most infamous woman--ahead of Barbara Walters, Jon Snow [her Channel 4 interviewer] and even before special prosecutor Kenneth Starr gave her the go-ahead to tell her side of the story." Lewinsky is quoted as saying, "I'd like to think I would live on in a book. I like to be able to reach up on my book shelf for one of Shakespeare's plays and I would like to think that people will do that with this [Morton's] book." The Sunday Mirror interview was widely picked up across Europe Monday, with La Stampa of Turin, Italy--under the headline "Sexgate, the last secret: a green skirt"--focusing on Lewinsky's account of her first meeting with Clinton at which, according to her, he admired the skirt but said he would like to see what was underneath it. She obliged. The British celebrity magazine Hello! ran an interview last week with Monica's father, "the man who knows her best." Dr. Bernard Lewinsky said, "The entire family has been stressed to the limits, and Monica feels terrible about it." Asked if Monica carried a share of the blame for her relationship with President Clinton, he replied that it had been "a relationship between two adults," but that "it was totally irresponsible for the president to get involved with Monica to begin with." He added, "I respect him as a president, but I don't respect him as a man." Dr. Lewinsky said that Monica's stepmother Barbara had "taught Monica to knit, which was something that has been extremely helpful" and that he had never reproached her "or told her that what she did was right or wrong--I just told her I loved her." The Guardian of London reported Monday that Osama bin Laden, America's most wanted foreigner, has been spirited away from his pursuers with the connivance of Afghanistan's ruling Taliban militia. The Taliban "actively orchestrated" his disappearance, the paper said, and sent him with 10 armed guards to an abandoned mountain guerrilla base. He was traveling "with about 25 men, including trusted lieutenants who are also wanted for the bombing of US embassies in Africa, and Amin al-Zahrawy, the leader of Egypt's Islamic Jihad," the paper added. "The Taliban has deliberately stoked the confusion surrounding his disappearance earlier this month to protect him when he is at his most vulnerable." The Guardian said the Taliban has admitted that bin Laden might still be in Afghanistan. The British papers are by the controversy over allegations of institutionalized racism in the London police force, made by an independent judicial inquiry into a botched police investigation into the murder of a young black man. The conservative press is strongly critical of the proposed solutions to the problem. The Daily Telegraph said Saturday in an editorial that some of the report's conclusions "border on the insane," such as one recommending criminal prosecution of "offences involving racist language or behavior where such conduct can be proved to have taken place otherwise than in a public place." The editorial also attacked the government for adopting numerical targets for the recruitment of ethnic minorities by the police. "The American experience has shown that voluntary forms of affirmative action can be beneficial, but once quotas are mandated by law, they soon become counter-productive," it said. According to the Pan-Arabic weekly Al-Mushahid Assiyasi , prospects for ending the long-running Lockerbie dispute have been boosted by a complicated deal with Saudi Arabia under which Libya will buy $1.7 billion worth of weapons from South Africa --weapons that the Saudis had been due to purchase but have now decided not to. In exchange, Saudi Arabia will work to lift the sanctions that have been in force against Libya since 1992. The sanctions are due to be "suspended" once the two Libyan citizens suspected of involvement in the 1988 Lockerbie bombing of a PanAm plane arrive in the Netherlands to stand trial before a Scottish court. According to a report in the Pan-Arabic al-Quds al-Arabi Friday, Saudi Arabia is not the only Gulf state to have shelved arms deals. Editor Abdelbari Atwan reported that all the Gulf states, hard hit by the collapse of oil prices and blaming Western countries for it, have taken an unpublicized decision to "freeze" arms purchases so that their Western suppliers will also feel the pinch. No. 199: "Thirds" He's done it twice, and he announced on the radio that if it were legal to do it again he would. Opponents say this desire indicates "a strange psychological state." Who wants to do what? by noon ET Tuesday to e-mail your answer to newsquiz@slate.com . Thursday's Question (No. 198)--"Chat and Argue Choo Choo": Next month, hoping to re-establish cordial relations, more than 140 congressmen will board a chartered Amtrak train bound for Hershey, Pa. What will they do when they get there? "The same thing everyone does after getting off an Amtrak train: attempt to wash that vague uriney smell out of their clothes."-- Tim Carvell "Let Mary Bono out of the bathroom."-- Michael Gerber "I'm not sure, but if Bob Barr is going, I'll bet he doesn't touch any 'Special Dark' chocolate."-- Rich Harrington ( Alex Balk had a similar answer.) "Hershey? Train? Congressmen? Is it just me, or is it a little homoerotic in here?"-- Larry Schnur "Bang on drums and try to get the talking stick away from a weepy Tom DeLay."-- Molly Gabel Click for more answers. Randy's Wrap-Up Beyond a preschool visit to a local dairy, my first assembly line was at the Hershey's chocolate factory, and it was perfect--incredibly loud and with a cocoa aroma as thick as a fist. There were ordinary items--candy bars and Kisses--in infinite multiples, and ordinary objects in gigantic versions--mixing bowls, ladles, boxes. But you'll never see it. Hershey no longer runs a factory tour. Instead it has a visitors center--Candytown or The Chocolate Work Shoppe or Fattyland, something like that--pathetic, fake, Disneyfied. It's the same at most factories. Fear of lawsuits has superseded pride in the product. One delightful exception, should you like your kids to see something made, and an easy drive from Hershey, is Mack Truck in Macungie, Pa. While it's an assembly plant, not a manufacturing plant, they do start with a pile of parts in the morning and roll 50 of those big boys out the door by the end of the day. You get to see people building something that's not idiotic, a great treat for one who's worked in television. It's interesting that the Dem-Rep safari is at the site of a pseudoexperience rather than the real thing. But if you're trying to inspire artificial amity, that's not such a bad choice. Randy's Recantation Several of you chided me for calling the travelers "congressmen," omitting the women representatives. Quite right. My mistake. Touchy Feely Answer They're going to pretend that Sam Waterston is Lincoln. As they did in 1997, the representatives are attending a retreat. Leaders of both parties are expected, including Dennis Hastert and Richard Gephardt. Among the speakers will be historian Doris Kearns Goodwin and John Hume who, along with David Trimble, won the Nobel Peace Prize last year for his work in Northern Ireland. Waterston, supported by a troupe of actors and historians, will present selections from the Great Emancipator. The Pew Charitable Trust is providing $700,000 to underwrite the event. Month of Junk Extra I received 35 unsolicited e-mails in February, not a huge number, but it's a short month, and I use a local Internet service provider. Most of this trash, 19 pieces, proffered business opportunities--dubious investments, credit card schemes, home employment. Eleven involved retail sales (dental care, computers, divorce lawyers, online auctions); four announced some sort of performance; one was an ancient chain letter scam. Each investment scheme began with a lie. Ask to be removed from the list, and you learn that the return address is bogus. I suppose I'll never get my money back. Or earn enough to buy that solid gold hat. A few highlights: From: clinical14b@gmc.edu Subject: CBSNews:1st Aphrodisac Drug Apr "The announcement of this scientific breakthrough has set off a media fire-storm." If this is an investment opportunity, it's unconvincing. If it's a personal suggestion, it's impertinent--like I'm not doing fine with Nyquil and Kahla cocktails. From: marketwatchernow1999sb@he.com.br Subject: RE: "STRONG BUY" HI-TECH MEDICAL "PDCID has announced priority production of their proprietary Hypo-Sterile 2000 which render medical contaminants harmless." Tempting. But my money's tied up with Rumplestiltskin's process, which renders straw into gold. From: aoolw@prodigy.net Subject: Earn 2-4k Per Week from Home!! "What have you done with your dreams?" My dreams rarely involve becoming a travel agent, but they frequently include an enormous cartoon swan. From: Laura.Hunter@Cwix.Com Subject: Next Networking Events@Cheetah,Limelight "After work Networking Events For Young Professionals." It's difficult to decide which word in the above phrase is the least attractive. From: BrwBier1@aol.com Subject: A Bit About Your Family's History "Do you know WHO your ancestors are and WHAT they did?" I already employ a system for addressing these questions; it's called psychotherapy. Common Denominators The dangers of an underfunded rail system. The joys of erotically applied chocolate. Disclaimer: All submissions will become the property of Slate and will be published at Slate 's discretion. Slate may publish your name on its site in connection with your submission . Movies 8MM (Columbia Pictures). Nicolas Cage plays a straight-arrow private eye who enters the seamy world of hard-core porn in pursuit of information about a girl in a snuff film. Critics' reactions are all over the map. Roger Ebert gives the film three stars and says "it deals with the materials of violent exploitation films, but in a non-pornographic way; it would rather horrify than thrill ... it is a real film. Not a slick exploitation film with all the trappings of depravity but none of the consequences" (the Chicago Sun-Times ). Several critics take the exact opposite stance: The Los Angeles Times ' Kenneth Turan calls it "an unapologetically sleazy ordeal that delights in twisting the knife, a tawdry piece of work whose only raison d'tre is making the skin crawl in the name of box office profit." Most reactions to the film are negative, but each critic cites a different flaw. Odd man out: Stephen Hunter of the Washington Post , so unfazed by the subject matter as to call the film "insipid" and "mild." ( David Edelstein's review in Slate .) 200 Cigarettes (Paramount Pictures). Critics call this piece of early '80s nostalgia a "dismally unfunny farce" (Todd McCarthy, Daily Variety ). There are plenty of interesting stars (Christina Ricci, Courtney Love, Ben Affleck, Janeane Garofalo), but the script, which follows a gaggle of young folks on their way to a New Year's Eve bash in Manhattan's East Village, is said to be unsalvageable. The film's only high note is a soundtrack with some 49 songs that evoke the era better than any of the actors do. (Check out the outfits on the official site.) The Other Sister (Buena Vista Pictures). Sugarcoated and manipulative is how critics describe this Garry Marshall film about two mentally handicapped young adults (Giovanni Ribisi and Juliette Lewis) who fall in love. Ebert lays into the film, saying it's "shameless in its use of mental retardation as a gimmick, a prop, and a plot device. Anyone with any knowledge of retardation is likely to find this film offensive" ( the Chicago Sun-Times ). Those who condemn the film say its real message is "[m]entally challenged people in love say the darnedest things!" (Desson Howe, the Washington Post ). However, quite a few softies like it: "Lewis and Ribisi eventually win you over" (Turan, the Los Angeles Times ); "by the storybook conclusion I was cheering them on, against all critical instinct" (Rod Dreher, the New York Post ). Stephen Holden of the New York Times opens his review with what sounds like a joke ("A beautifully acted love story") but isn't; he's the film's biggest fan. (Check out this site devoted to Ribisi.) Books The Houdini Girl , by Martyn Bedford (Pantheon). Bedford's sophomore novel, after the acclaimed Acts of Revision , is called a gripping but flawed work. The story follows a young magician uncovering the details of his girlfriend's recent death and unpeeling the layers of deception that she had wrapped herself in. The thriller side of the book is well crafted, and the dialogue, pacing, and plotting keep reviewers engaged: "Bedford is the genuine article, a writer of unmistakable flair and accomplishment" (Carey Harrison, the New York Times Book Review ), but many reviewers say he does not show the same skill level in revealing his characters' emotional lives. (Read the first chapter, courtesy of the New York Times [requires free registration].) Perfect Murder, Perfect Town , by Lawrence Schiller (HarperCollins). Jumbled, messy, and "frustrating to read" (Christopher Lehmann-Haupt, the New York Times ) is how most reviewers describe this rushed-to-press book about the JonBenet Ramsey murder. Not only does the book repeat and contradict itself, but the author doesn't even try to offer an answer to the most essential question of all: whodunit? Some reviewers speculate that the shoddiness is a result of the book being published before it was ready, in order to fill the post-Monica vacuum. (Read this excerpt that ran in Newsweek .) Theater Not About Nightingales (Circle in the Square Theatre, New York City). This recently discovered early Tennessee Williams play has been stunningly staged--critics praise the acting, direction, and costumes--but they debate whether the work itself is amateurish or fully formed. The New York Times ' Ben Brantley concedes that "there are definitely moments to wince over" and that it is "the work of a man still unsure of his voice" but still sees enough flashes of brilliance to make the performance worthwhile. Daily Variety 's Charles Isherwood agrees, saying the play "is manifestly not a piece of juvenilia." Some critics are less generous and note a heavy reliance on melodrama and film noir tropes; the Daily News ' Fintan O'Toole writes that the play is no "lost masterpiece." (Find out more about the show at sidewalk.com.) Recent "Summary Judgment" columns Movie-- October Sky ; Movie --Jawbreaker ; Movie -- Office Space ; Music-- The Hot Rock , by Sleater-Kinney; Book-- Traveling Mercies: Some Thoughts on Faith , by Anne Lamott; Book -- The Elegant Universe: Superstrings, Hidden Dimensions, and the Quest for the Ultimate Theory , by Brian R. Greene. Movie-- Blast From the Past ; Movie --Message in a Bottle ; Movie --My Favorite Martian ; Book-- The Testament , by John Grisham; Book --South of the Border, West of the Sun ,by Haruki Murakami; Theater-- Death of a Salesman (Eugene O'Neill Theatre, New York City). : Movie -- Payback ; Movie --Simply Irresistible ; Movie --Rushmore ; Movie --Dry Cleaning ; Book -- Werewolves in Their Youth , by Michael Chabon; Theater -- You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown . Movie-- She's All That ; Movie --The 24 Hour Woman ; Movie -- Still Crazy ; Movie -- My Name Is Joe ; Book-- What Our Mothers Didn't Tell Us: Why Happiness Eludes the Modern Woman , by Danielle Crittenden; Book --Amy and Isabelle , by Elizabeth Strout; Book -- Heavy Water , by Martin Amis. Sex, Discipline, and Your Refrigerator It has always seemed to me that the two great mysteries of the universe are: "Why is there something instead of nothing?" and "Why do people put locks on their refrigerator doors?" Long ago, I concluded that both these mysteries must remain forever unfathomable. More recently, two remarkable works of popular science have convinced me that it is too early to despair. First, the refrigerator locks. Why would any rational creature want to erect an obstacle between itself and a midnight snack? Midnight snacks have costs (usually measured in calories or grams of fat), but they must also have benefits--otherwise, they wouldn't tempt us. We snack when we believe the benefits exceed the costs. In other words, we snack when snacking is, on net and in our best judgment, a good thing. What could be the point of making a good thing more difficult? But people do lock their refrigerators. They also destroy their cigarettes, invest their savings in accounts that are designed to discourage withdrawals, and adopt comically elaborate schemes to force themselves to exercise. Odysseus resisted the Sirens' call by lashing himself to the mast. I used to have my secretary lock my computer in a drawer every afternoon so I couldn't spend my entire day surfing the Net. Economists have tried to explain such behavior in all sorts of unsatisfying ways. You can say that people like to avoid making choices--but isn't the purchase of the lock a choice? You can suppose that our minds house multiple "individuals" with conflicting preferences--but it's unclear how to turn that into a precise theory of exactly how many people we're sharing our minds with, and how their conflicts get resolved. You can throw up your hands and say that some behavior is rational and some isn't, and this particular behavior is in the second category--but that's tantamount to giving up without a fight. Or, most unsatisfying of all, you can simply posit a "taste" for self-control. The problem with that one is that once you allow yourself to start positing "tastes" for everything under the sun, you abandon all intellectual discipline--any behavior at all can be "explained" by the assertion that somebody had a taste for it. Economist Deirdre McCloskey warns against hollow triumphs like, "Why did the man drink the motor oil? Because he had a taste for drinking motor oil!" If you can explain everything, you've explained nothing. But in his entirely marvelous book How the Mind Works , cognitive scientist Steven Pinker suggests that we can safely posit a taste for self-control without opening the floodgates that would allow us to posit a taste for drinking motor oil. Here's why: Unlike a taste for drinking motor oil, a taste for self-control confers a reproductive advantage. When you snack at midnight, you get most of the benefits, but your spouse (who cares about your health and appearance) shares many of the costs. So a taste for locking the refrigerator in the afternoon--even when you know that, by a purely selfish calculation, you ought to make yourself a giant hot fudge sundae every night--makes you more desirable as a mate. Therefore, we shouldn't be surprised that natural selection favored people with a taste for refrigerator locks. What about people who aren't looking for mates or who are already securely married? They have a taste for self-control because their ancestors (who must have mated successfully or they wouldn't have become ancestors) had that taste. The bottom line is that it is intellectually honest to explain behavior by positing surprising tastes, provided those tastes are useful in the mating game. Presumably the sociobiologists and evolutionary psychologists have had this idea all along, but economists have been slow to recognize its significance. Now as to the origin of the universe--or, as I prefer to phrase the question, "Where did all this stuff come from?"--I now believe that everything is made of pure mathematics. I came to this insight from Frank J. Tipler's book The Physics of Immortality , all of which is wonderfully provocative and some of which is convincing. His point is to take seriously the claims of those artificial intelligence researchers who assert that consciousness can emerge from sufficiently complex software. Pure mathematics is pure software and contains patterns of arbitrary complexity. The universe itself, together with the conscious beings who inhabit it, could be one of those patterns. Or maybe not. The argument only works if you believe that mathematics is eternal and precedes the universe. One could equally well argue that mathematics arises from counting and measuring and so can't exist until after there is a universe of things to count and measure. I should also say that while I love the idea that the universe is nothing but a mathematical model of itself, I've never met anyone else who found the idea of "software without hardware" even remotely plausible. But there might be a good economic reason why we're stymied. Steven Pinker points out that understanding the origin of the universe is not a terribly useful skill. It confers no reproductive advantage, so there's no reason we should have evolved brains capable of thinking about such a question. Nature is too good an economist to invest in such frivolities. On the other hand, the ability to understand human behavior has clear payoffs for a social animal like Homo sapiens . So it's not too much to hope that we could work out a detailed and convincing theory of refrigerator locks. Monica Unclothed At the outset of her interview with Barbara Walters, Monica Lewinsky complains that she's been "misportrayed." "Behind the name Monica Lewinsky, there's a person," she sobs. For two hours, Lewinsky bares her soul to Walters and the world. Beneath a flimsy undergarment of professed remorse, she exposes a psyche built on blame-shifting, self-interest, and moral indifference. 1. It's not my fault. Lewinsky delivers her canned message in the interview's opening seconds: "I waited a long time to be able to express to the country how very sorry I am for my part in this past year's ordeal. ... I wouldn't dream of asking Chelsea and Mrs. Clinton to forgive me. But I would ask them to know that I am very sorry for what happened and for what they've been through." As the interview progresses, however, Lewinsky defines her "part" in the fiasco narrowly, leaving others to account for "what happened." When Walters asks whether she takes "responsibility" for the affair, Lewinsky answers, "Not complete responsibility." Later, Lewinsky speculates that Clinton came to her for a sense of "normalcy." Walters reasonably inquires, "Can't you get that from your wife?" Lewinsky bats the question aside. "That's something for him to answer, not me," she says. 2. It's just a disease. Lewinsky calls the affair a "mistake" but frames the mistake in terms of technical error and emotional imbalance rather than moral failure. She refers constantly to self-esteem and anti-depressant medication. When asked why she has had affairs with married men, she explains, "I didn't have enough feelings of self-worth." What lesson does she draw from her mistakes? "I have a lot of healing to do," she concludes. Blaming her excesses on a chemical defect allows her to feel good about her seductive inclinations. When asked whether her behavior with Clinton was "out of control," she concedes, "I needed help. I needed to be on some sort of anti-depressant." But she rephrases the question in flattering terms: "For someone like me, who's a very passionate, loving woman, I think you often get close to that line." 3. It's all about me. Walters asks Lewinsky about the May 1997 conversation in which Clinton told her they had to end their affair because it was "not right in the eyes of God." Lewinsky conveys no interest in this moral appraisal. Instead, she reflects on her own needs. "I was heartbroken," she recalls. "It hurts." Later, Walters asks about Clinton's refusal to have intercourse with her. "I felt it was unfair to me ," Lewinsky pleads, "that I would never know what it was like to be that intimate with him." As for the episode in which Lewinsky exploded in jealousy over Clinton's meeting with journalist Eleanor Mondale, Lewinsky explains, "I don't know that people can understand ... how confusing it would be for me to on the one hand have someone saying things to you--'I promise this, I promise that, I care about you, I don't want to hurt you, I want to take care of you'--and then the actions are something different. ... It's pretty tough emotionally." She delivers this speech without a trace of irony. 4. It's about loyalty. Lewinsky emphasizes at the outset that she's "very loyal." She says she "trusted" her friends to keep silent about her affair and feels "violated and betrayed" by Linda Tripp. Why did she give Kenneth Starr the stained dress that was in her mother's apartment? Because to do otherwise would have violated her immunity agreement, she explains, and "I needed to take care of myself and my family." Toward the end of the interview, Walters asks, "Have you learned anything from this experience?" "I've learned how important family is," Lewinsky replies. "I have learned the true meaning of friendship." 5. It's none of your business. "From the time I was 2 years old," Lewinsky recalls with a smile, "one of my first phrases [was], 'You are not the boss of me !' And I've been that way ever since." When Walters suggests that White House aides were right to keep Lewinsky away from Clinton, Lewinsky defiantly retorts, "I don't think so. I don't think that my relationship hurt the job he was doing. It didn't hurt the work I was doing. It was between us . And I don't think it was their business." 6. It's OK if you don't get caught. Walters asks Lewinsky about her phone sex with Clinton. "It's fun ," the younger woman giggles. "Did you ever think about Hillary Clinton?" Walters inquires. "I did," says Lewinsky. "But I never thought she'd find out." In the interview's final seconds, Walters asks, "If you had it to do all over again, would you have the relationship with Bill Clinton?" Lewinsky reflects on what she has learned. "There are some days that I regret that the relationship ever started," she says, still grinning. "And there are some days that I just regret that I ever confided in Linda Tripp." ABC's pre-interview hype depicted Lewinsky as a smitten, deluded romantic. She thought Clinton was her "soul mate," went this spin, whereas he was actually a reckless, ruthless narcissist. What the interview actually suggests, however, is that both perceptions are true. The man Lewinsky seduced was scheming, shameless, and incapable of accepting responsibility for his conduct. And in her, he met his match. Kiss My Tan Line New Yorkers have bagels, San Franciscans the Golden Gate. In Seattle, the natives reserve their civic pride for hating Californians and the predatory consumerism they stand for. There are rusting Volvos all over Seattle's University District with "Don't Californicate Washington" bumper stickers. The Seattle Times recently ran a front-page story about the increase of tailgating on freeways, a display of bad manners locals blame on the influx of Californians. Rather than criticize California emigrants like myself, locals should be kissing our tan lines. It is the Californian mindset that is responsible for the Seattle Miracle, whereby a sleepy backwater has been transformed into a dynamic entrepreneurial hub and the most livable city in the United States. When I first lived in Seattle in the mid-'70s, it was a fussy little hamlet, Mayberry NW, where Meat Is Murder food co-ops abounded and the 40-hour work week was considered indentured servitude. Today the unemployment rate is a percentage point below the national average, and housing prices are soaring, driven by a boom in software, biotechnology, and telecommunications firms. The pine-scented air now hums with ambition and no one gets a day off. Just as Seattle's renaissance is fueled by an influx of aggressive capitalists, its previous stagnation was caused by the sloth and poor economic policies of its other tenants: Indians, Scandinavians, and hippies. Northwest Indians lived in a land of vast abundance, the streams flush with fish, the forest thick with game. Rather than invest their surplus in research and development or compete to see who could build the biggest house, the Northwest Indians instituted the "potlatch," a tradition of achieving status by giving away one's wealth. No investments. No competition. No ego. No progress. If Seattle was initially held back by an indigenous people who didn't value individual achievement and the Rules of Acquisition, then the arrival of the Scandinavians in the 1800s only made things worse. In a previous "Letter From Washington," a NW chauvinist bragged that the Vikings not only were the first Europeans to visit the New World, but their descendants shaped the contemporary culture of the Pacific Northwest, creating a city of tolerance and egalitarian refinement. I beg to differ. The Vikings may have made a hit-and-run raid on Newfoundland, but the Scandinavians who migrated to the Pacific NW in the 1800s were not Vikings. Norse culture peaked 1,500 years ago when the Vikings-- ber capitalists--pillaged the British Isles. The Seattle Scandinavians were ersatz Norsemen, blond socialists who thought the basis of civilization was an upper tax rate of 90 percent, dreary porno movies, and their all-purpose greeting "uff da," which, translated, means, "I've fallen from grace and I can't get up." They created a Seattle in which icy politeness and neatly trimmed grass were the ultimate virtues. To make matters even worse, in the '70s when the hippies were driven out of California, many of them migrated to the Northwest, their VW vans stuffed with copies of Lord of the Rings and Small Is Beautiful . The hippies believed that the only good capitalist was someone selling loose joints at the bus station. In this spirit, a moratorium on high-rise office buildings was passed by Seattle voters in the early '80s, in the hope that evil corporations would be driven away. The region slumbered, the people insulated in their down parkas and their "what's your hurry?" smugness, until awakened by the hard-working Californians they complain so much about. The Californians created the New Seattle, whose Twin Towers are Microsoft and Starbucks. Bill Gates, though a Seattle native, has the soul of a Californian. He is smart and tough, a take-no-prisoners competitor. He is, of course, envied and distrusted by the locals, who feel he should somehow "give more back to the community." This is code for "give us some of your money, we want to go skiing." If Bill Gates is the distant father figure of the New Seattle, fellow Microsoft billionaire Paul Allen is the beloved Mom, representing the Old Seattle virtues of fair play and civic generosity. Father Bill is lean and mean, evinces no interest in sports or popular culture, and doesn't believe in giving kids an allowance. When he donates money, he endows a chair at the University of Washington or a building at Stanford or computer sciences at Harvard--elitist actions that benefit the best and the brightest, very New Seattle. Moms Allen, by contrast, is round and fuzzy and a soft touch. An egalitarian, he likes common-folk endeavors like team sports and rock music. Allen bought the Portland Trailblazers, and plans to buy the Seattle Seahawks to prevent their departure for--you guessed it--Los Angeles. Allen is also building a museum honoring Seattle's favorite prodigal son, guitar god Jimi Hendrix, and donated $25 million to jump-start "The Commons," a plan to replace 30 acres of productive businesses with a huge park in the middle of the city. The New Seattle voters turned down the project, realizing it would actually be a vast open-air toilet for the homeless. Starbucks was a low-key purveyor of fine coffee for years until Howard Schultz--a New Yorker who would be welcomed in California--took over and turned it into a corporate behemoth, opening stores across the world. It's only a matter of time until Starbucks is the premier caffeine-delivery system on the planet. People who bought stock in Starbucks at the IPO can now retire. So why isn't wealth-creator Howard Schultz beloved by his neighbors? Simple: He acted like a Californian. Ensconced in a large home abutting a small park, Schultz enlarged his driveway and, with the definitive grace of a successful CEO, erected a Citizen Kane autograph-model gate. He also encroached on a bit of park land in the process, just as a thousand other Seattleites had. But it was Schultz who drew the outrage of the Old Seattle types, who sued him. Now, after years of litigation, a frustrated Schultz plans to put the house on the market. Local boy Gates wisely built his 45,000-square-foot castle in suburban Seattle. While the home still evinces mutterings of "Xanadu" from the envious, it is actually smaller than Aaron Spelling's 50,000-square-foot mansion in Beverly Hills, and no one in California thinks it unseemly that the genius who brought us Charlie's Angels shouldn't reap the fruits of his labor. In California everyone thinks they might be the next one to write the ultimate sitcom and buy their own piece of paradise. They might, too. The Californication of Seattle continues. The original Seattleites--the NW Indians--have become so Californian they're Nevadans. Dissatisfied with the chump change earned by selling untaxed cigarettes and fireworks, the Indians have opened gambling casinos on reservations all over the state. An initiative on the November ballot asks voters to approve slot machines and video poker, proceeds of which will be used "to build esteem" among the native peoples. Just think, groups of people outside the mainstream with large stores of explosives, cash, and slot machines. ... If they were white, fundamentalist Christians instead of Native American pantheists, Janet Reno would send in the tanks. Even Moms Allen seems to be turning Californian. He recently purchased 387 acres on one of the San Juan Islands that is the site of Camp Nor'Wester, a venerated children's summer retreat. But instead of donating the island to the Nature Conservancy, Allen has evicted the camp and plans to build something for himself. As for the Scandinavian old guard getting the message, well ... uff da . The House endorsed sending U.S. troops to Kosovo . The nonbinding resolution backing President Clinton's plan to assign 4,000 soldiers to a peacekeeping force passed 219-191. Forty-four Republicans, including House Speaker Dennis Hastert, R-Ill., joined Democrats in support. Many Republicans argued that Clinton can't be trusted to bring the troops home on time. Democrats accused Republicans of playing politics and undermining American unity in foreign policy. Clinton's old spin: The House shouldn't endanger the peace talks by debating the troops issue. Clinton's new spin: The "bipartisan" House vote "confirms the strong commitment of the United States." The half-cynical spin: Clinton will fail to fulfill the conditions the House placed on its approval (a timetable for the troops' return; that Clinton will explain to the nation why the troops were sent; that the troops will report to American commanders only). The completely cynical spin: The Serbs and Albanians will kill the peace deal, and the House will withdraw its support for sending the troops. (3/12/99) Independent Counsel Kenneth Starr invited the Justice Department to investigate his spokesman for leaking and lying to investigators. The spokesman, Charles Bakaly, says he's innocent but will resign. Background: After the New York Times reported Jan. 31 that Starr thought he could indict a sitting president, Starr launched an internal probe. In that probe, Bakaly denied to Starr's FBI agents that he was the Times ' source. Now that the probe has found evidence contradicting Bakaly's denial, Starr is referring his findings to the Justice Department. The Washington Post calls this "an implicit admission that [Starr] suspects serious wrongdoing on his own staff." The spins: 1) This proves Starr is a vicious leaker. 2) This proves Starr won't tolerate vicious leaking. Best tidbit: The Times says Starr's new spokeswoman "did not return a telephone call seeking comment on Thursday's developments." (3/12/99) Elizabeth Dole launched her presidential campaign exploratory committee. Pundits slotted her as the GOP field's runner-up, trailing Gov. George W. Bush of Texas. Dole staged her announcement with ordinary people, in implicit contrast to Bush's campaign launch days earlier. Together, their announcements sandwiched the candidacy kickoff of ex-Gov. Lamar Alexander, R-Tenn. The positive spins on Dole: 1) She's the first serious female candidate for president. 2) She's a public servant but not a politician. 3) She'll restore "civility" to politics. 4) She'll listen to voters rather than dictate her views. 5) She's attractive to Democrats and independents. 6) She's attractive to women. The negative spins: 1) She's too tightly wound to handle the campaign trail's surprises. 2) She's too tightly wound to handle the press. 3) She's too tightly wound to handle criticism. 4) Her views are vague and mushy. 5) Nothing is more political than a politician who pretends not to be one. (3/12/99) Reports indicate that China obtained atomic secrets from a U.S. nuclear lab and may have used them to vastly improve its nuclear missiles. Republicans and the media demand to know why U.S. security was lax and why the Clinton administration didn't recognize, admit, or aggressively investigate the problem when the first signs of trouble appeared in 1995. The White House says it got wind of the problem in 1997 and responded promptly. Republicans plan to hold a hearing. The spins: 1) Clinton didn't want to believe there was a problem because he knew it would disrupt his policy of constructive engagement. 2) He knew there was a problem but hid it anyway. 3) He hid the problem so it wouldn't stop him from helping U.S. companies sell technology to China under the guise of constructive engagement. 4) He hid the problem so it wouldn't stop him from being nice to China in exchange for 1996 campaign contributions. 5) Republicans are blaming Clinton in order to hide similarly lax security under Presidents Reagan and Bush. (3/10/99) RJR Nabisco is breaking up . Nabisco will jettison the company's tobacco interests and will sell its foreign cigarette business to Japan Tobacco to shore up the severed domestic unit, known as R.J. Reynolds Tobacco. The media spun the story in two directions with two different villains. Story 1 is about the excesses of the leveraged buyout era--exemplified by the RJR Nabisco merger--and the comeuppance of Kohlberg Kravis Roberts & Co., which saddled the merged firm with unbearable debt. Story 2 is about the rise of tobacco litigation and regulation and the gradual financial buckling of evil cigarette companies. The convergence story is that RJR merged with Nabisco in the hope of escaping its "tobacco taint" but found instead that the taint simply spread to Nabisco. (3/10/99) Joe DiMaggio died of complications from lung cancer surgery. News accounts recited his rsum--the Hall of Fame, nine World Series championships, 11 All-Star games, and three American League Most Valuable Player awards--but focused on his record 56 game hitting steak in 1941, which still stands today. While sports analysts compared his greatness on the field with that of Babe Ruth and Lou Gehrig, commentators traced his celebrity to his courteous, humble, all-American, son-of-immigrants personality. The spins: 1) DiMaggio represented the grace and dignity of the good old days. 2) Ruth and Ty Cobb represented the pugnacity and decadence of the good old days, and DiMaggio was the exception. (3/8/99) Gov. George W. Bush , R-Texas, announced he is forming a presidential campaign exploratory committee. Though he won't officially declare his candidacy until June, he paraded notable supporters such as former GOP Chairman Haley Barbour and House GOP Chairman J.C. Watts Jr. before the press. His aides also listed scores of governors and members of Congress who are backing him. Everyone agrees his strategy is to create an air of inevitability and suffocate his competitors. The spins against him: 1) He's inexperienced in public office. 2) He's inexperienced in national politics. 3) He has no base. 4) He lacks organization in early states. 5) He's had it too easy and is due for a fall. 6) His expectations are too high. 7) Elizabeth Dole's entry into the race will kill his momentum. 8) His supporters don't know what he stands for. 9) He doesn't know what he stands for. (3/8/99) Film director Stanley Kubrick died . Obituaries recalled his movies' eight Academy Awards, focusing on Dr. Strangelove , A Clockwork Orange , and 2001: A Space Odyssey , also mentioning Lolita and The Shining . Commentators debated the significance of the bleak fantasies in which he portrayed human recklessness, madness, brutality, murder, and nuclear holocaust. The half-cynical spin: He hated people and portrayed them as savages. The completely cynical spin: He hated people and portrayed them as savages because they deserved it. (3/8/99) Sire, the Technology Is Revolting Last week, technological snafus conspired to delay both our daily "prop" of new material on several days and our weekly e-mail delivery. We apologize to readers of both versions of Slate. These computer thingamabobs--gosh, they really are confusing and complicated! Just so you know how it's supposed to work (and usually does): Each day's edition is supposed to be available on the Web the previous evening at around 5 p.m. Pacific time (8 p.m. Eastern time). The one exception is the weekend edition. This is the edition with the most new and updated material. It is usually available on the Web by 2 p.m. Friday afternoon, Eastern time. The weekly e-mail delivery should arrive Friday afternoon as well. (You can also download this same file, which is formatted for easy print-out, directly from the Web.) Our No. 1 concern last week was trying to keep Bill Gates from finding out about these problems we were having, since Microsoft is a company where nothing ever goes wrong. (Our No. 2 concern, of course, was you, the customer.) At an emergency staff meeting, we considered our options. Young Plotz had a three-word suggestion that doesn't bear repeating. Foer and Gore offered to distract Gates with their vaudeville act while Sobel and Hohlt snuck the pages into his browser cache. Finally, though, we decided to tell him the truth. He took it pretty well. "That's OK," he said. "I'm still busy looking at Investor." Satan or Sunshine? In her dispatches last week from the inauguration, Karenna Gore invited Slate readers to help her choose a Secret Service code name superior to the one she regrets having chosen four years ago: Smurfette. It must have two syllables and begin with S, for some reason. Among reader suggestions (in "The Fray"), Gore reports, "Sultry, Sexy, and Sassy seem superior to Schoolmarm, Shapeless, and Schnauzer." Other nominees: Sandstorm, Seraph, Scylla ("Fends off sailors," a reader points out). Scrounger, Shameless, Snorer, Slimfast, and Spoiler did not appeal, and Stripper and Stoner were positively alarming. Bottom line: She is still looking. Top Draft Choice We're pleased to announce that Michael Lewis will be joining Slate as a regular contributor. Michael is the author of Liar's Poker , the best-selling memoir of life as an investment banker in the 1980s. Losers , an expanded version of his coverage of the 1996 presidential campaign, will be published this spring by Knopf. He also writes a monthly column for the New York Times Sunday Magazine . Look for Michael's regular contributions starting in April, with occasional appetizers before then. -- Michael Kinsley The Compleat Harry Not since Homer, the critics agree, has anyone produced an epic narrative like "O.J. by the Sea," Harry Shearer's series of dispatches from the O.J. Simpson civil trial. The entire series is, of course, available in "The Compost." But for Slate readers who wish to fondle this classic of our times, bind it in leather, display it on their coffee tables, and pass it along as a treasured heirloom to their children, we are proud to offer a new sort of instant book. The entire series has been repackaged as a Microsoft Word document (also as an Adobe Acrobat document), which can be downloaded, free as O.J., and printed out. Like our weekly print-out edition of Slate itself, "O.J. by the Sea" is nicely formatted in double columns for standard 8-by-11 paper. Surgeon General's Warning: "The Compleat O.J. by the Sea" is 94,025 words long, and the printout is exactly 84 pages. (The file takes about six minutes to download at 28.8K.) Keep in mind, though, that you can also download the file and read it on-screen. Let's Talk About You More than 3,600 Slate readers took the time to respond to our reader survey a few weeks back, for which we thank you. The results prove beyond a doubt that reading Slate is good for you. How else would Slate readers have acquired a median income of $75,000 to $100,000 and a median net worth of $250,000? Eighty-six percent of you claim to be college graduates, and 57 percent have postgraduate degrees (not all, we trust, from law school). You spend an average of 37 minutes a week reading Slate. Over half of you use Netscape as your browser. Nothing wrong with that, you understand. Some of our best friends use Netscape. Slate, of course, is happy--indeed, grateful--to welcome readers of all races, religions, genders, and browser preferences. Housekeeping Details If you haven't yet sampled our new, alternative "Table of Contents," go to the Contents page and click on the word "Date" right below the Slate logo. Current articles will then be listed by the date they were posted, with the most recent stuff first. If you like that better than our highly conceptual system of departments and page numbers, that's fine with us. (To return to the regular Contents page, just click on "Page Number.") New readers might like to be reminded that you can sign up for free e-mail delivery of our "Slate on Paper" edition, nicely formatted for printing out (just like the Harry Epic--only shorter). It's delivered automatically every Friday afternoon. You can also get an actual printed copy of Slate each week, but that'll cost you money. Call 800-555-4995 for details. Hope for the Best "At this juncture, we all should hope for the best." So concludes an especially muddled editorial Feb. 25 in the Wall Street Journal . The muddle was understandable, given that the topic was on-again, off-again, on-again Whitewater Independent Counsel Kenneth Starr. The Journal 's editorial page spent the 1980s vilifying the whole idea of independent counsels as a scandalous waste of money and an unconstitutional infringement upon executive power. But that was when Lawrence Walsh was investigating President Reagan. Now that it's a Democratic president under investigation, the Journal is naturally conflicted. Its former thundering constitutional anathemas are now repositioned as genteel "doubts" about the "extra-legal character" of "an institution still evolving." Still, "At this juncture, we all should hope for the best" is remarkably unhelpful advice. Is there any editorial ever written to which this last sentence could not be attached? ("Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. At this juncture, we all should hope for the best.") Have we missed some other juncture, in the course of human events, at which the Journal would not have recommended that we all hope for the best? Will the Journal inform its loyal readers when we may abandon the strain of hoping for the best and return to the less exhausting task of fearing the worst? Do we really need the distinguished Wall Street Journal editorial page to tell us to hope for the best? One might as well turn to the Journal 's news pages to be told to "buy low, sell high." When contemplating a high-risk course of action, such as hoping for the best, it is always advisable to get a second opinion. At this juncture, we consulted Bill Gates. Would he recommend hoping for the best? At this particular juncture? "My dear fellow," he said, "Don't hope for the best. Demand the best." And he added, "Buy low, sell high." Contest A decade ago, the editor of this publication staged a contest in another publication to name the then-burgeoning Iran-Contra scandal. The premise was that scandal handles ending in "-gate" had become too tiresome, and that "Iran-Contra" was too clumsy. This turned out to be wrong on both counts, as that scandal came to be called "Irangate" by some and "Iran-Contra" by most. The winning name in that contest--"Iranamok"--was delightful, witty, and euphonious, but never took off. Undaunted, let's try again. Anybody got a good name for the now-burgeoning Democratic-Asian-Connection-Lincoln-Bedroom-Fund-Raising Scandal? Nothing racist, please, and nothing (once again) ending in "-gate" (unless it's really good). Post your suggestions to "The Fray," our reader-discussion forum, or send e-mail to slate@msn.com. First prize will be a free year's subscription to Slate online (a $19.95 value). Oh, and maybe we'll throw in a Slate baseball cap. Reels on Wheels Slate readers who recall John Cassidy's article a few weeks back about a lavish "Hollywood Party" he attended at the home of Hollywood mogul Mike Medavoy might have enjoyed a New York Times feature about Medavoy Feb. 25. The party described in the Slate piece was intended to signify Medavoy's triumph over adversity: new wife, new job, and so on. In the Times piece, Medavoy touchingly describes the kindness and generosity he discovered during his adversity period: "Even the courier who used to bring films to me at home said he'd be happy to bring them to me for nothing." What a heartwarming story! Calling Frank Capra! Imagine: a fallen mogul almost reduced to seeing movies in a movie theater, saved from this humiliation by a big-hearted courier. If more couriers took a moment to show a bit of human compassion for the film producers in their midst, this old world would be a heckuva better place. -- Michael Kinsley Medal Detector Col. David Hackworth, "America's Most Decorated Living Soldier" according to the man himself, is back in the news. Hackworth was instrumental in Newsweek 's story a year ago that Navy Chief of Staff Adm. Jeremy Boorda was wearing two medals he wasn't entitled to wear. Boorda committed suicide. Hackworth wrote in Newsweek , "It is simply unthinkable an experienced officer would wear decorations he is not entitled to, awards that others bled for. There is no greater disgrace." Now it has come out that Hackworth himself was claiming two military decorations he wasn't entitled to claim: a Ranger Tab (indicating membership in a commando-style Ranger infantry unit) and a second Distinguished Flying Cross. Hackworth has now removed these decorations from the rsum on his home page. We can't resist noting that the first skeptical examination of Hackworth's career, his journalism, his military decorations, and his general trustworthiness occurred in Slate, last November ("Newsweek 's Major Embarrassment: He's Called Col. Hackworth"). The authors were David Plotz (associate editor of Slate) and Lt. Col. Charles Krohn (U.S. Army, retired). Newsweek dropped Col. Hackworth as a contributing editor at the end of last year. The Slate article went on to win a National Magazine Award, a Pulitzer, and the Nobel Prize for Literature. Life After Death Last week's "Strange Bedfellow" column by Jacob Weisberg, "Such a Deal: The Romance of Rent Control," misstated the title of Jane Jacobs' famous book, The Death and Life of Great American Cities . We had it as "The Life and Death ...," and, as Slate reader Dan Luscher of San Francisco points out, "The difference is meaningful." More Stuff Slate uncorks a gusher of new editorial features this week. Look for "Egghead" today, the other two beginning Wednesday, May 28. (Wednesday's edition of Slate is available on the Web around 5 p.m. Tuesday, PDT.) "Global Primer" is a weekly briefing on issues in foreign policy and world events. It will be prepared for Slate by the staff of Oxford Analytica, a British consulting firm that specializes in analysis of global political trends. Egghead is a reasonably lighthearted look at recent developments in scholarship and academia. Egghead will be laid monthly by the staff of Lingua Franca , the lively print magazine of academic life. "Chatterbox" is a first for Slate: a totally "live," seven-days-a-week feature. Using the same technology we use in Slate's reader-discussion forum, "The Fray," Chatterbox will be updated whenever the fancy strikes, independent of Slate's official daily posting schedule. It will contain whatever news scooplets, insights, and reflections Deputy Editor Jack Shafer can either solicit from Slate's staff and readers or, if necessary, download from his own head. The consensus of Jack's colleagues is that reader contributions are essential. A button on the "Chatterbox" page will make this easy, so please do join in. Who? The Slate "Diary" for Memorial Day week will be written by Beck. The editor has no idea who or what this is. But everyone else around here seems quite excited about it. So maybe you will be too. Beck's first contribution will appear Monday evening. Happy Memorial Day. --Michael Kinsley "Time To Clear out the Eurotrash" The mass resignation early Tuesday morning of all 20 members of the European Commission--universally characterized as the most serious institutional crisis in the 42-year history of the European community--dominated European papers Wednesday. The Brussels-based commission is responsible for the day-to-day affairs of the 15-member European Union and enforces EU law. An investigation into charges of fraud, corruption, and cronyism found evidence of incompetence, mismanagement, and loss of political control. Although one commissioner, former French Prime Minister Edith Cresson, was singled out for particularly strong criticism, commission President Jacques Santer said the body chose "by unanimity to resign collectively." Le Soir of Belgium supported the dramatic gesture of unity since "it is too late for half-measures or for soft, evasive answers" and claimed the resignations were needed because the commission "suffers from a democracy deficit and therefore a lack of legitimacy. ... To counterbalance this [it] has to be perfect, spotless." In contrast, the Euro-skeptic Times of London speculated that the collective action might, in fact, represent a further avoidance of individual responsibility, and worried about the possible "renomination" of the entire commission (an idea floated by Santer Tuesday): "This supposedly cathartic drama could end up as a 'Japanese' purge, in which heads roll only to ensure that things continue much as before, with much the same discredited cast. That would be an outrage." France's Le Monde saw a silver lining in the crisis and said the institution had to seize this opportunity to "clean up its administrative and financial habits, improve its decision-making process and, most of all, rediscover the inspiration and drive it has lost. This might even mean increasing its funding and staffing levels." The Guardian of London pointed out that the commission's problems were partly caused by the expansion of its responsibilities as it "found itself taking on ever more grandiose tasks, largely on the demand of member states, with progressively more limited resources. Yesterday's report shows they did not know how to cope." Meanwhile, there is no resolution in sight. Germany and Britain want to replace Santer as soon as possible, while seven other countries would prefer him to remain as a "caretaker" until Dec. 31, 1999--the end of his term. Britain's Independent made its position clear in an editorial Wednesday: "It is time to clear out the Eurotrash." In Ecuador, Monday's reopening of the banks, after a week of government-ordered closure, put the population in the streets, as depositors queued to withdraw their funds and striking taxi drivers and bus operators blocked roads to protest a 165 percent increase in the price of gasoline. As Quito faced its third day of roadblocks Wednesday, Diario Hoy reported that the capital was in a state of paralysis with schools closed and provisions in short supply. El Telgrafo of Guayaquil blamed the uncertainty gripping the populace on politicians' failure to discuss possible solutions to the crisis. "There has to be an opening and communication on the part of government. If it wants to achieve a national accord, it's logical that it must display an openness to reconciliation." In Beijing, the state-run China Daily pooh-poohed U.S. media reports about Chinese nuclear espionage at the Los Alamos laboratories. In an editorial Wednesday, the paper claimed, "The 'lab-theft' story is bound to follow in the footsteps of the 'political donations' and 'satellite secret leakage' reports--to be forgotten within a few weeks after the claims cannot be substantiated." A story in Asahi Shimbun of Japan revealed that Aum Shinrikyo, the cult that attacked the Tokyo subway with Sarin nerve gas in 1995, is enjoying a resurgence based in part on the financial security provided by a chain of successful computer stores affiliated with the group. The paper claims that the stores' prosperity stems from their cheap prices, which are possible because believers work for next to nothing. A former member of the group told Asahi Shimbun that "Aum followers work there, and the job is considered part of religious training. Their salaries are therefore zero." A "public security investigator" quoted by the paper speculated that Aum will "grow into a stronger and bigger organization with ironclad solidarity" when Fumihiro Joyu, a senior cult member, is released from prison in November. Now He Tells Us Now He Tells Us So we were reading the Washington Post on Wednesday--online, of course--when we came across a report of a speech by Bill Gates at Cambridge University. We're always interested in what Bill Gates has to say because--well, obviously. You would be too, would you not? Anyway, this speech was especially interesting to us. According to the Post : The computer genius sketched out his rosy vision of a future world of technology-loving households [... yeah, yeah ...] and schools in which computers enhance the learning process [... sure, buddy ...]. ... But he conceded that sometimes the old ways are still the best. He prefers magazines the way they come in the mail , he confessed, and he cannot read anything longer on his computer screen than a three-page memo. Whoa. These words came as quite a shock to those of us who have spent the past year and a half trying to develop, on behalf of the Microsoft Corp., a magazine whose distinguishing characteristic is that it does not come in the mail. Although we disagree with Mr. Gates about the best way to read magazines, we do agree that sometimes the old way is still the best. For example, we generally prefer typewriters to Microsoft Word, and we find that our sturdy abacus crashes less often than Excel. Lesser online magazines might find it discouraging to learn that their own proprietor prefers magazines that come in the mail. And there were tears, of course, even at Slate--mainly from the software developers, a notoriously sensitive lot. But ultimately we at Slate invoked the true Microsoft spirit and took this as a challenge. A two-pronged challenge, actually. The first challenge was how to prevent Bill Gates from finding out that his company publishes an online magazine. The second challenge was to misrepresent (or "spin," to use the vernacular) his remarks to the general public. The second part is easy. The Washington Post , as is so often the case with the media, misquoted Mr. Gates' speech. What he actually said was that he prefers magazines that come in e-mail , and he reads them on his specially designed computer screen that can display a three-page memo. He was referring, of course, to Slate's free weekly e-mail delivery. (Click here to subscribe.) Part 1 is tougher. Although Slate is a tiny division of a large company, it is frequently mentioned in the press, and its Microsoft connection is often noted. But we have assigned a junior staff member to lurk near the Gates family mailbox and, when no one is looking, to go through the contents and Magic Marker out all references to the fact that Slate is owned by Microsoft. That'll teach him to get his magazines by mail. Fourplay If you've installed Internet Explorer 4.0, the new version of Microsoft's browser, you might like to take a peek at our new Table of Contents, designed especially to take advantage of the advances in Internet Explorer 4.0. Among other features, it allows even the smallest standard computer screen to display the entire contents of an issue of Slate without scrolling. Make sure that you're running Internet Explorer 4.0, then click here to take a look. This is still a "beta," meaning that we're still tinkering with it, but we think it's pretty close. If you run into any problems, e-mail help@slate.com. And if you haven't yet installed Internet Explorer 4.0, you can get a free download by clicking here. Be forewarned that the download takes quite a while via modem. You can also order a CD. Or you can while away the time reading magazines on paper. --Michael Kinsley China Crackup For the past two weeks, Republicans have raised a ruckus over President Clinton's failure to promptly remove a suspected Chinese spy from the Los Alamos nuclear lab. Making the GOP's case on Face the Nation , Sen. John McCain, R-Ariz., blamed the spy fiasco on "six years of inattention and a feckless photo-op foreign policy." But when asked how he would treat China, McCain sketched a policy hardly distinguishable from Clinton's. And when asked about Russia's loose nukes, he conceded, "I don't know the answer to this. Maybe it's inappropriate for me to come on this program." It's painful to watch Republicans discuss foreign affairs these days. No doctrine binds together their complaints about Clinton's actions. While calling him soft on China, many quietly espouse the same Clinton-Bush policy of trade-plus-scolding. While demanding boldness abroad, they have opposed military action in Kosovo, Iraq, Sudan, and Afghanistan. And while falling back on Cold War rhetoric, they ignore Russia's nuclear garage sale. Winning a presidential election on foreign policy will be hard enough. Winning it without a coherent message will be impossible. The Republican identity crisis is fourfold. 1. The Cold War . Many Republicans see the spy scandal as an opportunity to revive Cold War rhetoric. They allude constantly to "Los Alamos" and "the Rosenbergs." On Meet the Press , Pat Buchanan accused Clinton of failing to "clean out a nest of spies in America's atomic laboratories who've stolen the most vital secrets since the Rosenbergs went to the electric chair." At a Senate hearing Tuesday, another presidential hopeful, Sen. Bob Smith, R-N.H., compared the Chinese spy case to past Soviet espionage and warned that it might precipitate another "arms race." Other Republicans, however, realize that nuclear threats are now diffuse rather than concentrated in one enemy. Appearing on the same show with Buchanan, Sen. Richard Lugar, R-Ind., rejected the Cold War model: "I accept the fact that [the Chinese] spy on us. Many people do." At Tuesday's hearing, Senate Armed Services Committee Chairman John Warner, R-Va., tried to broaden the discussion from China, which has 24 missiles that can reach the United States, to Russia, whose 7,000 such weapons could end up on the black market. The missile-defense debate highlights the Republican dilemma. The original Strategic Defense Initiative was supposed to defend the United States against a massive nuclear strike by the Soviet Union. By contrast, the missile-defense program approved by the Senate Wednesday is designed to stop one or two missiles fired by a rogue nation such as North Korea or Iran. If Buchanan and Lugar can't agree on which kind of threat China poses, they won't be able to agree which kind of anti-missile system the GOP should stand for. 2. Capitalism. The GOP has been the party of free trade. President Bush made this the linchpin of U.S. China policy. Over the past two years, the Republican Congress has renewed most-favored-nation trade status for China, approved legislation enabling U.S. companies to sell China nonmilitary nuclear technology, and killed a proposed ban on satellite sales to the Chinese. More than 100 House Republicans signed up last month to sponsor legislation to relax restrictions on exports of encryption technology, despite Clinton's objections that this technology might be passed to terrorists. This week, the Republican-leaning business community launched a lobbying blitz to remind "hawks" in Congress that China "will be the second-largest computer market in the world by the year 2000." Yet the GOP's best-known hawk, Sen. Jesse Helms, R-N.C., is leading the charge to restrict trade with China as punishment for its spying. "The continuing problems with Chinese human rights violations, espionage, and possible technology transfers suggest that this is not the appropriate time for China to enter" the World Trade Organization, he says. Like-minded strategist Bill Kristol denounces Republicans who have sided with Clinton's policy of "trade above all else in China." 3. Constructive engagement. Having ripped Bush's engagement policy in 1992, Buchanan is already locking and loading the same critique for 2000. "The policy of engagement has devolved and degenerated into a policy of appeasement," he declared this week. Many conservatives say engagement has led to nuclear proliferation, deterioration in human rights, and now laxity against espionage. Former House Speaker Newt Gingrich avidly defended engagement, however, and his successor, Rep. Dennis Hastert, R-Ill., agrees. "The more we're involved with China, the better off we are--for us and for China and the Pacific area," Hastert said last week. "It's also important that we stress our views on human rights. If we aren't engaged, we can't do that." Likewise, Sen. Craig Thomas, R-Wyo., rejected his colleagues' fierce response to the spy story: "I've never supported the idea that every time China does something we don't like we ought to submit a thing to the Senate and get after them." The GOP's identity crisis over engagement is almost comic. When Sam Donaldson pointed out on This Week that two Republicans, President Richard Nixon and Secretary of State Henry Kissinger, had pioneered engagement in the Shanghai Communiqu, George Will exploded: "I was for impeaching Nixon over the Shanghai Communiqu!" Clinton's spokesmen have learned to brush off Republican critics of engagement by quoting the policy's Republican defenders. 4. Clinton. Republicans aren't sure whether to blame the spy case on ideology or corruption. Some want to paint Democrats as soft on defense. Sen. Tim Hutchinson, R-Ark., calls the case "symptomatic of the casual attitude with which the Clinton administration views issues of national security." Others want to blame it on Chinese contributions to the Democrats. McCain, for example, demands an investigation of "the allegations about technology transfer [and] all these campaign contributions that came out of China." Nor have conservatives figured out whether to blame Democrats in general or Clinton in particular. Many have grown more disgusted with Clinton's triangulations than with congressional Democrats' straightforward liberalism. "The Clinton China policy from the first has been subsumed into the permanent campaign," says the Wall Street Journal , citing objections to that policy "from Democrats and Republicans alike." Moreover, given the political damage the GOP has suffered by unilaterally impeaching Clinton, Republican leaders fear that the merits of their arguments will once again be drowned by charges of partisanship. Sure enough, this week Clinton spokesman Joe Lockhart accused the GOP of using the spy case for "partisan point-scoring." To beat the partisanship rap, several Republican leaders are invoking Democrats as their allies against Clinton. House Majority Leader Dick Armey, R-Texas, cites "a growing unrest" over China "on both sides of the aisle," and House Majority Whip Tom DeLay, R-Texas, accuses Clinton of trying to "cover up" Congress' "bipartisan" findings of laxity in Clinton's China policy. When ABC's George Will tried to goad Rep. Chris Cox, R-Calif., into blaming Democrats for suppressing those findings, Cox shot him down: "It is not a Democratic party position, because Democrats and Republicans have worked very closely together on this issue." If Clinton's approach to world affairs has been aimless and inconsistent, assailing his China policy from all directions is hardly the way to make that point. The opposite of inconsistency is principle. And the GOP has yet to figure out what its principle is. "Welcome Back, Mr. President!" The crisis in the Northern Ireland peace process, provoked by new outbursts of violence in the province and the Irish Republican Army's reluctance to decommission its weapons, dominated the newspapers of Ireland and Britain Friday. Several papers led on Thursday's tripartite statement from President Clinton and the British and Irish prime ministers urging a settlement "between now and Good Friday." In Belfast, the Irish News prominently reported former Sen. George Mitchell's warning that history would not forgive failure, describing his speech at a St. Patrick's Day reception at the White House as "the most powerful" of a week of Irish celebrating and politicking in Washington. In an editorial page article in the Irish Independent , commentator Chris Glennon said "an air of despondency" hung over the negotiations because nobody knows what the bottom line is for either Sinn Fein's Gerry Adams or the Protestant leader David Trimble on the decommissioning problem. "There is a lot of gloom about the prospects," Glennon wrote. "That was a factor in the St. Patrick's Day celebrations being less fun in Washington than in recent years." An editorial in the Irish Times said Al Gore was "one of the happiest people" on St. Patrick's Day because Irish-American Democrats had endorsed him to succeed Clinton in next year's election. "Mr. Gore's enthusiastic support for the peace process boosted his acceptability," the paper said. In Britain, the Daily Telegraph led Friday with the claim that British Prime Minister Tony Blair has softened his stance on decommissioning. It said the tripartite statement "makes clear that the IRA's continued failure to disarm need not block Sinn Fein from the new power-sharing executive in Northern Ireland." The liberal Guardian had an emotive front page story on the initiative under a seven-column headline "Now is the time for courage," and an editorial expressing relief that the Spice Girls had crept into the No. 99 spot in the U.S. Hot Hundred pop charts, since otherwise "it would have marked (on the authority of the Wall Street Journal , no less) the first time since the Kennedy administration that the UK record industry didn't have a single record in the top 100 US best sellers." As Monica Lewinsky continued her book promotion tour of Britain, saying Thursday in yet another "exclusive" interview (this time with the Daily Express ) that her main problem in life was fatness--"You can be anything in this world but fat," she said--the Independent welcomed the return of Clinton to the fray, with his first news conference for more than a year, as "an older and wiser man, with his extraordinary resilience lending a kind of dignity to the mere fact of his survival in office. ... With the peace process in Northern Ireland poised again on the edge, the White House's full attention could once again play a decisive role," the editorial said. "With Nato--and its new central European members--on the verge of military action in Serbia, Mr. Clinton's skills of diplomacy and rhetoric are needed. ... Welcome back, Mr. President, there is work to be done." Papers in Australia and in the Far East remained focused on the Olympics scandal. The Sydney Morning Herald led its front page Friday with a photograph of Georgina Coles, ex-wife of Phil Coles, an Australian member of the International Olympic Committee, wearing U.S.$10,000 worth of jewelry that he had denied accepting as a gift from a Greek businessman associated with the Athens bid for the 1996 Olympics. "The emergence of the photograph will come as a body blow to Mr Coles, who was near tears when told that his former wife had contradicted his denials," the paper said. In Hong Kong, the South China Morning Post carried an editorial Friday calling again for the resignation of the IOC President Juan Antonio Samaranch. His confirmation in office was "thoroughly disheartening," it said. "After the recent tarnishing of its image with corruption revelations, the committee badly needs to restore its credibility and regain respect. That can hardly be done so long as it remains dominated by the old regime epitomised by Mr Samaranch." Germany's Frankfurter Allgemeine Zeitung led its front page Thursday with an exclusive revelation that a raiding party of East German academics had secretly opened the coffin of Johann Wolfgang von Goethe 30 years ago. Seven experts in conservation and pathology entered the royal vault in Weimar by night on the pretext that one of the clasps on Goethe's sarcophagus had broken and his remains might deteriorate. In fact, they took the poet's body away in a handcart and brought it back three weeks later only after cleaning the skeleton and using plastic to reinforce the decayed laurel wreath on his skull. The operation was carried out by stealth to avoid exposing the then Communist regime of East Germany to charges of desecration. The 250 th anniversary of Goethe's birth is being celebrated this year. The Daily Telegraph of London led Friday with the news that the British government has decided to impose fines on restaurants and cafes that fail to tell customers they are serving genetically modified food. The government, which previously declared such food absolutely safe, has caved in to a powerful media campaign. Restaurateurs say the measure will be impossible to enforce, and environmental groups called it "a con" that doesn't go far enough. The Times of London in an editorial Friday called it "a lightly cooked up fraud upon the food-buying public." A British press furore about dog poisoning in Italy--sparked off, as it were, by Muriel Spark's disclosure last weekend that five of her dogs have been poisoned at her home in Tuscany--finally reverberated in Italy Friday when La Repubblica of Rome asked in a front-page headline: "Who killed Muriel's dogs?" The subject covered a whole inside page of the paper, which described her as a "poor romantic Englishwoman" who had followed a "bucolic idyll" by going to live in Tuscany and had then had all her pets killed. Since the police told her that the poisoners were "a small group of deviants" in the hunting community, "it shouldn't be difficult to restore, at least in part, her great love of Italy, which has been so barbarously betrayed." (For more on this, see "" in Slate .) In an editorial Friday, the Daily Telegraph , a conservative paper, made fun of a splendid correction published in the liberal Guardian the day before. The Guardian had apologized "profusely" to Patti Boulaye, an actress seeking election as a Conservative to the new Greater London Assembly, for having misquoted her in an interview. "This is a time to support apartheid," it quoted her as saying. "This is a time to support apartheid because it is unfashionable." But in fact Boulaye had advocated supporting "a party," meaning the Conservative Party. "Because Miss Boulaye happens to be black, the reporter assumed she was obsessed with a racist political system," commented the Telegraph . "And since she is a Tory, the paper assumed she supported what, it conceded yesterday, was 'abhorrent to her.' " In Paris Friday, Le Monde 's main story was that the French are the drunkest people in Europe, with 2 million of them dependent on alcohol. In London, the Daily Telegraph reported a survey showing that children in Britain watched more television than anywhere else in Europe, mainly because their parents were scared of letting them out of doors. We Happy Few We Happy Few About 17,000 people had signed up for Slate by the middle of this week, a day or so after we became a paid-access site. For reasons explained in "Readme" last week, we're very pleased with that number. Thanks, and welcome to all our members. And to those of you who are reading this on our "front porch" (free area): Come on in! Click here to subscribe. Keep in mind that in America, you get what you pay for. The version of this column available only to subscribers is not the rather perfunctory sales pitch you see before you. 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If you do know what cookies are and have set your computer not to accept them, our password/sign-in process won't work for you. Look, our cookies are truly harmless. Honest. Yes, yes, that's what the witch told Hansel and Gretel, but did she supply a list of ingredients to prove it? We do. Click here to read it. And please accept cookies so you can enjoy Slate . --Michael Kinsley NATO continued to bomb Yugoslavia. Scorecard: Significant damage to the Serbs' air defenses and command centers, but not to Serb ground forces, which are escalating their assaults on ethnic Albanians in Kosovo. As of Friday morning, NATO had lost no pilots. Stress points: 1) President Clinton told the Serbian people their leaders are to blame for dragging them into a disastrous war, but so far the Serbs are rallying behind their leaders and blaming NATO. 2) Congress and the American public are cautiously supporting the bombing, but not the use of U.S. ground troops. 3) Italy and Greece suggested resuming peace talks with the Serbs, but U.S. officials say the allied coalition is holding firm. 4) Russia and China are protesting loudly but aren't matching their harsh words with deeds. The naive anti-bombing spin: NATO's bombs will never get the Serbs to accept NATO's peace plan. The pro-bombing spin: NATO will soon attack the Serbs' tanks and troops directly, crippling their ability to slaughter the Kosovars. The sophisticated anti-bombing spin: That's when the Serbs will start shooting down the allies' planes. (For the overseas' press reaction to the Kosovo airstrikes see "" and ".") (3/26/99) Britain's highest court issued a new ruling on the fate of Chilean Gen. Augusto Pinochet . Spain is seeking his extradition from Britain on charges of murder, torture, kidnapping, and conspiracy. Pinochet wants to return to Chile, where he is immune from prosecution. The court ruled that 1) Pinochet can be extradited but 2) only for crimes that are illegal in both Britain and Chile. Since Britain didn't sign the global treaty on crimes against humanity until 1988, this means Pinochet's alleged pre-1988 crimes--nearly all the charges against him--can't be used as a basis for extraditing him. Both sides are happy: Pinochet's supporters now expect him to escape extradition, while human rights activists hail the ruling as a sign that dictators who have committed more recent crimes can be extradited. (3/26/99) The forewoman of the Lewinsky grand jury said she was willing to indict President Clinton for perjury. The good news for Clinton: She voted for him, attended a Democratic gala in his honor in 1997, says, "I absolutely love him" (in part because he has blacks and other minorities on his staff), doubts he committed obstruction of justice, and doesn't think he should have been removed from office. The bad news: She says that he committed perjury (by denying that he had sex with Monica Lewinsky) and that his sexual exploitation of Lewinsky was "awful." She also says 1) Independent Counsel Kenneth Starr was just doing his job; 2) she felt maternal sympathy for Lewinsky; and 3) the grand jurors were suspicious of Linda Tripp and annoyed by her "self-righteousness." (3/26/99) Russian Prime Minister Yevgeny Primakov canceled his visit to the United States . En route to meet with President Clinton and leaders of the International Monetary Fund, Primakov turned his plane around and went back to Moscow because NATO decided to bomb Yugoslavia, despite Russia's vigorous opposition. The pessimistic spin: This marks a "significant souring in the American-Russian relationship" and "could poison discussions" on arms control, which are more important than Yugoslavia. The optimistic spin: As long as we're holding the purse strings and Primakov is hard up for cash, he'll be back. The in-between spin: Canceling the visit offered both sides a graceful way to avoid a face-to-face fight over Kosovo. (3/24/99) Dr. Jack Kevorkian is botching his murder trial . The prosecution's case relies on a 60 Minutes video that shows Kevorkian giving a lethal injection to a terminally ill man after obtaining the man's consent. Kevorkian, acting as his own attorney, is arguing that it was a mercy killing. The judge has tried in vain to explain to Kevorkian that mercy killing is not a valid defense against a murder charge under Michigan law. The spins on Kevorkian's courtroom performance, in order of ascending irony: 1) He's nuts. 2) He doesn't understand the difference between morality and the law. 3) He's committing legal malpractice. 4) He's killing himself. 5) He's unfit to make the legal decisions by which he's killing himself. 6) He'll escape conviction thanks to jury nullification yet again. (3/24/99) Jesse Jackson won't run for president in 2000. Jackson's spin: He can do more good by pressuring Wall Street to invest in poor communities. Other spins: 1) He decided he can't win. 2) His absence helps Vice President Al Gore by clearing the field. 3) His absence helps former Sen. Bill Bradley, D-N.J., by freeing up blacks and liberals sympathetic to Bradley's left-wing platform. 4) Gore talked Jackson out of running. 5) On Gore's behalf, Clinton talked Jackson out of running. 6) It doesn't matter much, since Gore has already wrapped up the nomination. (3/24/99) Shakespeare in Love shocked movie pundits by winning the Academy Award for Best Picture . Saving Private Ryan , which had been expected to win, instead received four lesser awards, including best director (Steven Spielberg). Shakespeare won seven awards, including best actress (Gwyneth Paltrow). The happy spin: Love beats war. The half-cynical spin: Comedy beats tragedy. The completely cynical spin: Disney-Miramax's publicity campaign for Shakespeare beat DreamWorks-Paramount's publicity campaign for Private Ryan . The ceremony's political controversy was a lifetime achievement award for Elia Kazan, a director revered for his films but ostracized by much of Hollywood for outing fellow Communists during the McCarthy era. (3/22/99) A Swiss psychiatrist and his British co-pilot completed the first round-the-world balloon trip . Their 20-day odyssey achieved aviation's most elusive goal, beating more famous balloonists such as Steve Fossett and Richard Branson. Their prize is $1 million--half the cost of their balloon. While applauding co-pilot Brian Jones for overachieving, the media concluded in retrospect that the pilot, Bertrand Piccard, had been destined for greatness, since his grandfather was the first man to reach the stratosphere (in a balloon in 1931) and his father had attained the oceans' lowest depth (35,000 feet). The spins: 1) The trip was a triumph of human ingenuity, skill, and endurance. 2) It was a triumph of meteorological, communications, and auto-piloting technology, which babysat the crew. 3) It was a triumph of lucky weather. (For more on the species, see David Plotz's 1998 piece "") (3/22/99) Duke, Connecticut, Michigan State, and Ohio State reached the NCAA basketball tournament's final four . Duke is the clear favorite to win it all, having won 31 straight games. The Cinderella teams--Gonzaga, Southwest Missouri State, and Miami of Ohio--were wiped out in the last two rounds, leaving no true underdogs. Many fans are cheering Connecticut because the school has earned its first final four appearance, having choked in the tournament in recent years. Similarly, Michigan State is making its first such appearance in two decades. The best story belongs to Ohio State, which was 8-22 last year and is the first team ever to reach the final four without having qualified for the tournament in the previous year. (3/22/99) On With the Show One of the pleasures of working in theater or film is hanging out with actors and sundry showbiz exhibitionists. True, they tend to have the emotional autonomy of 8-year-olds, but they're less of a labor to "read" than ordinary mortals: It's their business--you might say their existential orientation--to communicate their thoughts and feelings in an engaging fashion every millisecond . I mention this because the first thing that struck me about the much-hyped satirical comedy EdTV , which purports to show the effect of TV cameras brought into the homes of real people, is that almost no one on-screen seems ever to have met a real (i.e., nonshowbiz) person, let alone to be able to embody one. The director, Ron Howard, and his screenwriters and actors have spent much of their lives in the business, and I'd trust them to depict the anxieties of TV executives and the madness of network board meetings. I'd trust them to skewer the vanity of models and actors and directors. What I don't trust is their ability to convey what it's like simply to have a meal with a loved one or to walk across a street or to wake up from a sound sleep without the self-consciousness that comes from a constant proximity to media. When they project their particular self-consciousness onto society as a whole, the upshot is a sour, self-congratulatory muddle. EdTV is based on a 1994 French Canadian film that no one I know has seen called Louis XIX: King of the Airwaves . (The mock imperial title alone suggests more wit than the whole of its Hollywood counterpart.) EdTV takes off from the increasingly less outlandish idea that a cable network might, in the face of declining ratings, decide to have its cameras traipse around after an "ordinary" person 24 hours a day--a scenario somewhat different from last year's The Truman Show , in which the cameras were hidden, the universe manufactured, and the TV protagonist unwitting. There is already something like EdTV--albeit with one camera--on the Internet, and the number of auditioners for MTV's Real World and for a spot on various "trash" talk shows suggests that the United States has no shortage of exhibitionists who'd love to be "validated" by TV cameras. (On these terms, Monica Lewinsky is the most valid human being on the planet.) Under the leadership of a gung-ho producer, Cynthia Topping (Ellen DeGeneres), the network holds auditions in public places around the country and comes up with Ed Pekurny (Matthew McConaughey), a 31-year-old San Francisco video store clerk who is cute and unthreatening and unformed. ("I have a dream, I just don't know what it is yet.") The problem with EdTV is that Ed's life looks and sounds like a tedious sitcom before the TV cameras ever show up. McConaughey's manner is TV-talk-show bashful. (Is this supposed to be the point? That he's deformed by television before he's ever on television? I don't think so.) Ed's rambunctious brother Ray is played by Woody Harrelson, a Cheers veteran, and his mother by Sally Kirkland, who could never be anything but an actress. His wheelchair-bound stepdad is Martin Landau, who makes sitcom-style, raunchy old guy wisecracks. His brother's squeeze--and, later, his own--is Jenna Elfman, of television's Dharma and Greg . At one point, the door swings open and there stands Dennis Hopper. "What an inspired touch!" I thought. "A lazy, ham actor shows up to explain to poor Ed the secrets of Lee Strasberg's "Method"--how to be "private in public"--just like on Bravo's Inside the Actors Studio !" It turned out that this wasn't Dennis Hopper, however, but Dennis Hopper in the role of Ed's long-lost father--and few things can dispel the illusion of watching real people than a hack actor feigning naturalness via mannerisms recycled from James Dean and Montgomery Clift. Before the movie even gets going (it doesn't seem to begin for half an hour), it's clear that Howard and his frequent collaborators Lowell Ganz and Babaloo Mandel are too deep inside the mentality that they're trying to satirize to come up with anything fresh. EdTV has none of the edge of such "mockumentaries" as Albert Brooks' Real Life (1980) or This Is Spinal Tap (1984) or even HBO's The Larry Sanders Show , all of which exploit in hilarious fashion the tension between just being and performing for a camera. Where the filmmakers are most comfortable is back in the studio, so they throw in Jay Leno, RuPaul, and a panel of repugnant pundits--Harry Shearer, Michael Moore, George Plimpton, and Arianna Huffington--to discuss the "Ed phenomenon." Howard and his writers are so in love with their own hip self-consciousness that it's a wonder they don't feature film critics discussing their movie. As it turns out, EdTV isn't really about the impact of television on ordinary people. It's about the problems of being famous--like how you can never get any privacy. In common with The Truman Show , the film eventually evolves into a melodramatic revolt against a repressive corporate patriarch, here an executive (Rob Reiner) who doesn't want to turn off the cameras and leave Ed alone when Ed's life is in a shambles but his ratings are high. ( The Truman Show took a higher, more metaphorical route; in EdTV , liberation comes down to exposing the fact that Dad has a penile implant.) Reiner has the fatted, self-centered TV exec's demeanor down pat, but the movie degrades him while holding the same attitude toward human beings that he has. As Ed's unconvincing life runs its increasingly public course, Howard cuts to the folks at home--a Black Couple, a Gay Couple, an Old Couple, a bunch of Single Guys--who wince at him cutting his toenails or cheer on his conquests. When USA Today polls show that The People overwhelmingly prefer a flagrantly insincere model (Elizabeth Hurley) to the sweet and awkward UPS girl (Elfman) with whom Ed has found love, you have to ask: Are The People supposed to be shallow boobs? Or is this just how the world looks from certain Beverly Hills ZIP codes? A more true-to-life--alas--version of EdTV is 20 Dates , a microbudget documentary directed by and starring Myles Berkowitz. At the beginning of the film, now in wide release, Berkowitz--thirtyish and divorced and unable to get his directing career off the ground--explains that he has received a sum of money from a private investor (heard cursing the director via a hidden tape recorder) to go on 20 dates with 20 attractive women and thereby capture something unglimpsed in commercial movies about the single life, the nature of love, etc., etc., ad nauseam. All that is captured, of course, is Berkowitz's ambition to put himself in your face: He comes out of 20 Dates with a trophy fiancee and a feature film in major release, but absolutely no insight into dating, love, or human chemistry. The audience, meanwhile, ends up cringing and squirming on behalf of his dates, some of whom are appalled to the point of violence and litigation by the revelation of a hidden camera. (Only two of the 20 had the camera concealed from them--both sued.) The masochistic fascination of 20 Dates is something that the makers of EdTV can only dream about, but I wouldn't exactly call it entertainment; I found myself wanting to apologize on behalf of obnoxious heterosexual Jewish men the world over. I also wondered: What about those women, some of them pretty, bright, and articulate, who admirably recoiled from this clown when they discovered they were fodder for his Hollywood ambitions? When they saw Berkowitz on the big screen with a 20 th Century Fox logo behind him, did they think, "Wow, I really missed the boat on this one. I should never have let him get away"? The best reason for seeing Forces of Nature --a sporadically funny but uneasily revisionist screwball comedy in which straight-arrow Ben Affleck is tempted from his imminent nuptials by free spirit Sandra Bullock and assorted natural disasters--is a scene in which the heartsick jock ex-boyfriend (David Strickland) of Affleck's fiancee (Maura Tierney) sings an a cappella version of Phil Collins' "Against All Odds (Take a Look At Me Now)" into her ear in the middle of a party. The gesture is as embarrassing for the character as anything in EdTV or 20 Dates , but Strickland sings with such quavering soulfulness that the bit lifts up and floats out of the movie like a weird but beautiful balloon. I was going to mention this scene anyway, as the picture's highlight; I dwell on it because word comes that the 28-year-old Strickland, a regular on the sitcom Suddenly Susan , has been found dead in Las Vegas, apparently having hanged himself. It's no consolation, but he has left behind an exquisite moment in film. Movies True Crime (Warner Bros.). Clint Eastwood, in his 21 st directorial effort, is a decrepit newspaper reporter rushing to save an innocent man on death row. The A-list critics who usually puff the star offer only bland praise this time. The film is "assembled ... with loving care," says Michael Wilmington in the Chicago Tribune . It's "a wickedly effective thriller," writes the Chicago Sun-Times ' Roger Ebert. And the New York Times ' Janet Maslin finds it a "quietly poignant ... involving thriller." The naysayers toss spit wads. The film is "a hopelessly cliched newspaper yarn--I kept waiting for someone to scream into the phone, 'Baby, get me re-write!' " (Chris Kaltenbach, the Baltimore Sun ). Says Kenneth Turan in the Los Angeles Times : "It's a gritty story made in the director's more elegiacal mode, a confusion of style and content that is not in the film's best interests." No one comments on the movie's most notable feature: that here Eastwood crusades on behalf of a character he would have summarily dispatched, vigilante style, in previous films. (Check out David Edelstein's Slate review ; and read a review of Eastwood's Mission Ranch Restaurant in Carmel, Calif., here.) The King and I (Warner Bros.). This animated effort kiddifies the classic Rodgers and Hammerstein musical. The Chicago Sun-Times ' Ebert says the themes about defying class and convention don't work: "kids aren't much tuned into that." Trying to make the story interesting, the creators ladle in wacky animals, an evil royal counselor, and a hot-air-balloon action scene--and refuse to let the king die in the end! The result is "an above-average Saturday-morning TV show," says Kaltenbach in the Baltimore Sun . The animation gets mixed reviews: "The cartoon characters' faces and body language aren't doing much of an acting job," says the New York Times ' Anita Gates. To Robert Koehler in Daily Variety, the animation "is a curious hodgepodge of awkward human movement, tired nature effects and fine painterly backgrounds and detail work." (Discuss the real version of the musical with other stage nuts in the "forum" at Musicals.net.) Forces of Nature (DreamWorks SKG). Reviews for the Ben Affleck-Sandra Bullock romance are all over the place. Some like Affleck, some like Bullock, others like neither. The soppy plot (wedding-bound strait-laced guy gets waylaid by wild girl) produces severely mixed reaction as well. Turan in the Los Angeles Times is captivated: Besides being "smartly written" and "directed with a lively intelligence," the film "has several surprises in its repertoire, and most--but not all--of them make this a most pleasant and diverting venture," he says. The Village Voice isn't buying the overuptight Affleck: "You can't have screwball comedy if only one party desperately wants to screw," writes Justine Elias. Richard Corliss in Time hates the whole thing: "Well, it had to come sometime: this is DreamWorks' first reprehensible fiasco." A subtext to the reviews is outrage at the ending, which critics try not to give away but still bridle at. "Forces of Nature is less about the anarchic powers of love and sex than it is about the bond between a man, a woman, and two nonrefundable, first-class airline tickets," concludes Elias. Ebert is beside himself: "It's not even clever enough to give us the right happy ending. It gives us the wrong happy ending," he writes in the Chicago Sun-Times . (The Affleck Store--part of the official Affleck site--has to be seen to be believed.) Television The Oscars (March 21, ABC). Raspberries for Whoopi Goldberg's hosting performance at the 71 st Academy Awards. Reviewers say she wasn't funny and spent too much time congratulating herself. Los Angeles Times TV critic Harold Rosenberg scored her "gratuitously coarse language and one-liners, and cheap political jokes." The Boston Globe 's Jay Carr hit Goldberg's habit of being her own best audience: "Goldberg spent too much time laughing at her one-liners (often, she laughed alone)." Otherwise, everyone expressed dismay at the epic, record length (four hours plus) and a dance number strange even by Oscar standards (it included what were apparently interpretive steps to World War II), but marveled at Roberto Benigni's irrepressible speeches and Shakespeare in Love 's upset win. Second-day stories in the Los Angeles Times and New York Times let the Hollywood establishment lash out at Miramax capo Harvey Weinstein, who had the temerity to take the Best Picture Oscar away from Steven Spielberg. "[Weinstein's] costly promotional campaigns ... had paid off more handsomely than expected," writes Bernard Weinraub in the New York Times . The big spending is seen both as the roots of Shakespeare 's win and as portentous of Normandy-scale campaigns on everyone's part next year. (Everything you wanted to know about the Oscars is here.) Book Years of Renewal , by Henry Kissinger (Simon & Schuster). Henry Kissinger, who was not , gets hosannas for the third volume of his White House memoirs. These were the boring Ford years, but Kissinger is given credit for masterful analysis, trenchant characterizations, and vivid storytelling. In an almost prostrate review on the front page of the New York Times arts section, Richard Bernstein writes, "Mr. Kissinger's history of his own time in office is a work whose breadth, clarity of vision and historical scope amply justify its size. It is an event, a likely classic of its genre." Kirkus Reviews agrees: "A brilliant, masterly, even seminal book." The Wall Street Journal puts things a bit more into perspective: " 'Years of Renewal' is an engrossing book, truly hard to put down, at least for aficionados of U.S. foreign policy," writes Josef Joffe. (You can read Time 's excerpt here.) Find a movie playing near you on Sidewalk.com. Recent "Summary Judgment" columns Movie-- The Deep End of the Ocean ; Movie-- The Corruptor ; Movie-- The Rage: Carrie 2 ; Movie-- Wing Commander ; Death-- Stanley Kubrick; Book-- Black Hawk Down: A Story of Modern War , by Mark Bowden. Movie -- Analyze This ; Movie --Cruel Intentions ; Movie --Lock, Stock & Two Smoking Barrels ; Book -- Monica's Story , by Andrew Morton; Theater -- Annie Get Your Gun ; Theater -- Bright Lights, Big City . Movie-- 8MM ; Movie -- 200 Cigarettes ; Movie -- The Other Sister ; Book-- The Houdini Girl , by Martyn Bedford; Book -- Perfect Murder, Perfect Town , by Lawrence Schiller; Theater-- Not About Nightingales . Movie-- October Sky ; Movie --Jawbreaker ; Movie -- Office Space ; Music-- The Hot Rock , by Sleater-Kinney; Book-- Traveling Mercies: Some Thoughts on Faith , by Anne Lamott; Book -- The Elegant Universe: Superstrings, Hidden Dimensions, and the Quest for the Ultimate Theory , by Brian R. Greene. How to Appear Thoughtful At the height of his Hamlet act over whether to vote for the balanced-budget amendment, Robert Torricelli, the first-term Democratic senator from New Jersey, gave an interview to the New York Times . "I understand this will be one of the most important votes I ever cast," he told the paper. "I'm taking an extraordinary amount of time talking about it." Now, another senator might have noted that he was spending a lot of time thinking about the issue, perhaps, or listening to the arguments on both sides. But this is the Torch, remember--who, in just a couple of months, has distinguished himself as the member of the upper chamber most in love with the sound of his own voice. When you consider that his colleagues include Robert Byrd and Joe Biden, that is really something. Torricelli might be a blowhard, but he isn't dumb. After 14 years in the House, he seems to have figured out in a hurry how this Senate thing works. "I didn't get here by design," he told reporters at a press conference on Wednesday, Feb. 26. He was referring to his role as the decision maker on the balanced-budget amendment, which is set to fail by one vote early next week. This claim of guilelessness was instantaneously belied by Torricelli's suggestion that he and three other Democratic "undecideds" had the narrow defeat of the bill. But Torricelli's accomplishment was more than just manipulating the timing of his announcement to make himself the center of media attention. He also showed how easy it is in Washington to cultivate the appearance of thoughtfulness without doing a minute's worth of actual thinking. The challenge of looking like a soul-searching statesman was made harder by Torricelli's previous record on the issue. As a member of the House, he had voted in favor of the balanced-budget amendment, in the same version he now opposes, three different times. During his recent campaign, he said in unequivocal terms that he was in favor of the amendment, donning his record on the issue as a Kevlar shield against the charge that he was a fiscally irresponsible liberal. So his first order of business in the Senate was to begin to lay the groundwork for a flip-flop. Torricelli didn't do anything so dramatic as to say he might have been wrong in the past. Instead, he reinterpreted his past position as semaphore. He wasn't really voting to amend the Constitution at the time. He was trying to send a "message" about fiscal irresponsibility to various presidents and to Congress. (When I conked you over the head with that frying pan, I was merely indicating my concern .) Never mind that Torricelli was in the House himself, being as fiscally irresponsible as the next guy. In Congress, people send messages to themselves all the time. The second step is the fun part: agonizing in public. The national grandmaster of this technique is still the former governor of New York, Mario Cuomo. But in the Senate, the great role model is , who held a national dialogue with himself in 1993 before finally choosing to cast the deciding vote in favor of the first Clinton economic plan. But Kerrey carries off indecision better than Torricelli does, because with him, it's not an act. He is truly, paralytically ambivalent, perpetually ruminating about whether he should run for president even while running for president in 1992. Torricelli was merely feigning indecision when he gave interviews to the New York Times and National Public Radio the week before last saying how seriously he took the arguments on both sides, and how impressed he was with the deep consideration of important issues that took place in the Senate. Step 3 is negotiating with the folks who need your vote. At this stage, you are the most popular guy in town. The president invites you over to watch the Super Bowl. His aides respond to your smallest hint with servile alacrity. "David Broder, calling for you on Line 1." And so forth. Being the swing vote means you can ask for the moon and stars--but you can't ask for pork if you want to be seen as a deep thinker. Demanding a bridge as your price would be tacky, especially in exchange for killing off a big-ticket fiscal-austerity measure. (Six months down the road, you can ask for all the post offices you want.) More dignified is to ask for some kind of commission. In 1993, Kerrey got a commission on entitlements in exchange for his vote on the budget. Torricelli had been expressing concern about the lack of capital budgeting--the inability, under our system of federal accounting, to spread out the costs of "investment" expenditure. Presto: After a conversation with the president, in which Torricelli made clear his intention on the vote, the White House announced the formation of a capital-budget commission to examine this important issue. Click to have Slate's editor explain what's wrong with Torricelli's capital-budget idea. The final step is coming up with a pretext for your decision. Tim Johnson of South Dakota used the possibility of Social Security cuts to justify his flip-flop several days earlier, but that was just to bear the weight of another senator, even a light one. So Torricelli took a different tack, objecting to the Republican version of the amendment because it didn't contain any provision for the above-mentioned capital budget, and proposing an amendment to the amendment to provide for one, pending the report of the Torch Commission. The merits of that issue aside, this was an absurd proposal in the context of debate about a balanced-budget amendment. Balanced budgets and capital budgets are contradictory ideas. Being against the former because it doesn't provide for the latter is like saying you don't like a house because it doesn't have wheels. After the amendment's sponsor, Orrin Hatch of Utah, refused to accept this change, Torricelli took the "Sorry, wish I could help" line. "I need the gentleman from Utah to explain to me how a generation unborn in circumstances unforeseen will deal with renewed military hostilities, a deep recession, or the problem of declining economic competitiveness." Nice bit of ask-notting, that "generation unborn in circumstances unforeseen." Reverse word order will get you everywhere in the Senate. After his endless speech on the Senate floor in defense of our founding "ancestors," Torricelli repaired to the Senate radio and TV gallery to continue his monologue. "I have struggled with this decision more than any ... I have ever made in my life," Torricelli said. Chins were stroked. Editorials were penned, hailing the decision. A strange new mantle of respect descended on Bob Torricelli. Of course, truly thoughtful senators don't go in for this kind of rigmarole. Take the now-retired Paul Simon of Illinois, who took a courageous position in support of the balanced-budget amendment and held to it consistently--even in 1995, when the Democrats were one vote short, and wouldn't have succeeded in defeating the amendment without the help of Republican Mark Hatfield. I think Simon was wrong on the merits, but I never questioned his sincerity on the issue. Or take Torricelli's predecessor, Bill Bradley. Bradley took the same position that Torricelli did on the balanced-budget amendment after actually thinking about it, and without making a fuss. But quiet contemplation is not Torricelli's mtier. To quote again from the pre-decision piece in the Times : After a long discourse on the ins and outs of his vote, Mr. Torricelli drops a hint that when it matters, he will not desert his party. "The U.S. needs to determine a proper level of debt," he said, "and it's possible several members could emerge to use votes on this to force new creative talking." Or, more creatively yet, maybe one new senator could just stop talking for a while. Reno Divorce Even by Washington standards, Janet Reno has suffered a wicked case of conventional-wisdom whiplash. After famously "taking responsibility" for the botched FBI raid in Waco in 1993, she was lionized for her refreshing readiness to be held accountable. Before long, however, the buck-stops-here clich grew stale, and the story line changed. It became: Because of Reno's managerial incompetence and the disarray she presided over at the Justice Department, a lot of innocent Branch Davidians died unnecessarily. (Version 2 is at least as dubious as Version 1.) Originally hailed as "the very best appointee of the Clinton administration, bar none," by Morton Kondracke, Reno has more recently been called the president's "worst major Cabinet appointment" by the editors of the Weekly Standard . The latest and most dramatic turnabout has been on the question of Reno's "independence." The approved view until recently was that Reno had made herself irrelevant--a Washington nonplayer--by being so intractable and prissy. Various articles published in 1995 and '96 included mutterings from White House officials that the attorney general had no relationship with the president, and that officials would love nothing more than an excuse to replace her after the election. More recently, however, Republicans have insinuated--and the news media have reflected--the view that Reno is not just a team player, but a political shill for the White House. This is because she refuses to appoint an independent counsel in the campaign-finance scandal . The New York Times , in a recent editorial, raised doubts about Reno's "loyalty to the public." Newt Gingrich, the historian, went well beyond that, comparing Reno to Richard Nixon's Attorney General John Mitchell, who went to jail for obstruction of justice. Gingrich's comments are as offensive as usual, but even the milder form is absurd. People do play against type from time to time, but the charge that Reno has suddenly become a docile tool of the White House simply doesn't wash. Her decision on the independent-counsel issue may be good or bad--but it is legally defensible, and the evidence that Reno has been swayed by political factors doesn't amount to a prima facie case. The first point is Reno's own background and personality. As state attorney in Dade County, Fla., Reno acquired a reputation not just for integrity but for an almost fanatical probity. She asked the governor to appoint an independent counsel to prosecute her own mother when the late Jane Reno was arrested for drunken driving. In Miami, as in Washington, Reno was criticized for her management style, for her sentimental notions about crime, and for her general mulishness. But until a few months ago, no one ever accused her of bending the law. Even if she were a different sort of person, the case that Reno is acting politically in not appointing an independent counsel would fall apart over the issue of motivation . When calls first came for an independent counsel in November, Reno might have been vulnerable to pressure. She was, by all accounts, eager to stay on as attorney general in an administration that was not at all eager to keep her. Until some time after the Inauguration, Clinton might have got away with getting rid of her while he was replacing others in the Cabinet. But political circumstances have changed since then. The best thing Reno could possibly do to guarantee her own job security is to appoint an independent prosecutor. If she did, Clinton could never get rid of her. If he tried, it would be treated like a version of the infamous Saturday Night Massacre, when Nixon kept firing Justice Department officials who wouldn't fire special prosecutor Archibald Cox. Whether Reno's decision not to appoint is correct on the merits is another question, which won't be settled here. But it is pretty clearly within the bounds of reasonableness. Reno's critics have been imprecise, and often contradictory, on the question of why they think she must appoint an independent counsel. Under the law, the attorney general is obliged to do so if she comes across "specific and credible" evidence of criminal wrongdoing by a high-level official covered by the act. She also has the discretionary powers to appoint an independent counsel if she feels there would be a "personal, financial, or political conflict of interest" if normal Justice Department procedures were followed. Though it is blindingly obvious to Reno's critics that criminal acts were performed by high-level Clinton officials, they don't agree among themselves about which actions by which officials qualify. Sen. John McCain, R-Ariz., thinks it's Al Gore's fund-raising calls from his office. Common Cause thinks it's Bill Clinton's coordination of soft-money expenditures from the White House. Orrin Hatch, R-Utah, thinks it's letting John Huang into the White House. Reno says that no accusation against either Gore or Clinton meets the "specific and credible" standard. Gore, she asserts in a lengthy response to a request from Hatch, was raising soft money, which is not covered by the regulation that prohibits solicitations from government buildings. The coordination of soft-money expenditures that Clinton was involved in, she says, isn't illegal. I think this last interpretation is unfortunate, because it opens the floodgates for unlimited contributions from corporations and labor unions, which is what the post-Watergate election reforms were supposed to prevent. But legally, Reno is on pretty firm ground. That leaves the more vague--and discretionary--language about "personal, financial, or political conflict of interest." No one has suggested that Reno has a financial or personal stake in the latest scandal. Hatch and others have made the case that she faces a political conflict: Reno is an appointee of the administration presiding over an investigation that is potentially embarrassing and damaging to the administration. But the standard for appointing an independent counsel can't be that broad. Attorneys general face political conflicts every day--whether to bring cases against enemies, associates, friends, even relatives of members of the administration. Given a broad interpretation, the conflict-of-interest provision would require dozens, if not hundreds, of independent counsels. Reno has apparently construed this ambiguous provision in the only way one sensibly can. It gives her a wider berth than the "specific and credible" language, but it does not require her to appoint an independent counsel every time someone in the opposing party detects the appearance of a political conflict. Paradoxically, caving in to her critics would bolster Reno's reputation for fearless independence. If the attorney general had ordered up an independent counsel, not only would her job have been secure but the New York Times (and maybe even Sen. Hatch) would be swooning over her once again. Standing up to them, and doing what she evidently feels is right, means being taken for a Clinton hack. To her great credit, Reno has thus far rejected the perception of independence in favor of the genuine article. Movies Mod Squad (MGM-UA). Vicious pans for this remake of the 1968-73 TV show about three juvenile delinquents (Claire Danes, Omar Epps, Giovanni Ribisi) pushed into police undercover work. "It could be the capper segment in a Fox prime-time special on the World's Most Inept Movies " (Richard Corliss, Time ) ... "really, really dumb" with characters who "miraculously 'solve' the crime with a tape recorder and a lot of bad driving" (Chris Kridler, the Baltimore Sun ) ... "one of the lamest films [MGM] ever has foisted upon the world" (Todd McCarthy, Daily Variety ) ... "torturously boring" (Lawrence Van Gelder, the New York Times ) ... "almost unreleasable" (Mike Clark, USA Today ). And to add insult to injury, the Chicago Sun-Times ' Roger Ebert uses the expression "rumpy-pumpy" in his review for the third time in four months. The L.A. Times ' Kevin "I Gave At First Sight a Good Review" Thomas, correctly foreseeing that the studio would be desperate for advertising blurbs on this one, pumps the thing up: It's "a great-looking picture that zips along with grace, light on its feet." (Check out this archive of Claire Danes photos.) EdTV (Universal Pictures). Mainly positive reviews for a Ron Howard Truman Show -ish comedy. In this one, the guy, Ed (Matthew McConaughey), knows what's going on. Critics say it's not as subtle as The Truman Show , but it's funnier: "There's a nice overlay of goofiness in the satire" (Jay Carr, the Boston Globe ). Kenneth Turan of the Los Angeles Times calls it "a grab bag that's both amusing and frustrating. Simultaneously inspired and contrived, clever and crude." Some critics call the Hollywood self-consciousness about stardom and the price of fame a tad too navel-gazing; most find the movie pretty charming, especially the twangy McConaughey's performance as Ed. (Read this interview with McConaughey; David Edelstein's review in Slate .) 20 Dates (20 th Century Fox). Critics are unanimously repulsed by Myles Berkowitz's documentary about his attempts to find a girlfriend. He films a series of dates, sometimes secretly. Many reviewers identify with the one who stabs him in the hand when she finds out what's going on. Renee Graham of the Boston Globe calls the film "excruciating," and Berkowitz "the biggest jerk you're likely to see in a movie this year." Justine Elias of the Village Voice compares him to "an obnoxious four-year-old who believes everything he does is fascinating and adorable." Somehow in the course of the film he manages to find a woman who'll continue the relationship, and the two are allegedly now engaged. Slate 's Edelstein says of the film: "I found myself wanting to apologize on behalf of obnoxious heterosexual Jewish men the world over." (Read the rest of his review .) Television Futurama (Fox; Sunday, 8:30 p.m.; starting April 6, Tuesday, 8:30 p.m.). Mainly nice, loyal reviews for Matt Groening's new animated sitcom; a few "this ain't no Simpsons " complaints. Critics say the sci-fi spoof set in the year 3000 is more visually interesting but that it lacks the "bite" (Ron Wertheimer, the New York Times ) and the "snappy rhythm and the kind of far-reaching humor" (Ginia Bellafante, Time ) that make The Simpsons so good. On the positive side, Tom Shales of the Washington Post calls it "another satiric triumph," and the viewers turned out in force--its Nielsen rating was higher than both The Simpsons and The X-Files . (Find out more about the show at Fox's Web site.) Books All Too Human: A Political Education , by George Stephanopoulos (Little, Brown). Idealist or opportunist? Most reviewers find the Clinton adviser revealed in this memoir more the opportunist. Garry Wills' lethal piece in the New York Times Book Review blasts the book: "The self-importance underneath the self-criticism is breathtaking." Wills calls the memoir as a whole "tiresomely moralizing" and knocks the quality of the advising Stephanopoulos did for Clinton, noting that it was after he left that the Clinton presidency really took off. The Economist praises the book ("impressively honest and hugely enjoyable") but doesn't have much company. Owen Ullmann writes in Business Week that "[p]erhaps the book should be renamed All Too Ambitious ." ( Jacob Weisberg and Christopher Caldwell's discussion of the book in Slate .) For the Relief of Unbearable Urges , by Nathan Englander (Knopf). This story collection draws praise, along with raised eyebrows in regard to some extra-artistic issues. The reviews are wonderful: "graceful and remarkably self-assured ... unpretentious and powerful stories" ( Publishers Weekly ). The oohs and aahs come over Englander's reported $350,000 advance, an unheard-of sum for a debut short story collection. His stories mostly hinge on matters of faith. As Albert Mobilio writes in the Village Voice Literary Supplement , "the questions with which James Joyce and Flannery O'Connor pried at Catholic doctrine he now aims at Orthodox Judaism." (Read an excerpt from the book here.) Find a movie playing near you on Sidewalk.com. Recent "Summary Judgment" columns Movie-- True Crime ; Movie -- The King and I ; Movie -- Forces of Nature ; Television--The Oscars ; Book-- Years of Renewal , by Henry Kissinger. Movie-- The Deep End of the Ocean ; Movie-- The Corruptor ; Movie-- The Rage: Carrie 2 ; Movie-- Wing Commander ; Death-- Stanley Kubrick; Book-- Black Hawk Down: A Story of Modern War , by Mark Bowden. Movie -- Analyze This ; Movie --Cruel Intentions ; Movie --Lock, Stock & Two Smoking Barrels ; Book -- Monica's Story , by Andrew Morton; Theater -- Annie Get Your Gun ; Theater -- Bright Lights, Big City . Movie-- 8MM ; Movie -- 200 Cigarettes ; Movie -- The Other Sister ; Book-- The Houdini Girl , by Martyn Bedford; Book -- Perfect Murder, Perfect Town , by Lawrence Schiller; Theater-- Not About Nightingales . Disgust in Canada The NATO bombing campaign against Yugoslavia was declared "a disaster" Wednesday in Toronto's Globe and Mail , which could not have condemned it more severely. It has been "an unrelieved disaster not just for the North Atlantic Treaty Organization, but for the very people the bombing was meant to protect," it said. The NATO attacks have brought about a wave of righteous nationalism as Yugoslavs rallied behind the man that many of them loathed. "Safe in their high-tech jets and distant command posts, NATO forces have so far escaped without a single casualty," the paper said. "It is the Albanians--and of course the Serbs of Yugoslavia too--who are paying the price for the bombing. And what does NATO plan to do about it? Why, bomb some more, of course." The Globe and Mail said that NATO's motives had been good--"it wanted to stop Mr. Milosevic, protect the Albanians and save its own reputation in the bargain. Too many times, the West has threatened dire consequences and then done nothing. It is right to feel guilty about acting too late in Bosnia, and not at all in Rwanda. But true atonement requires sacrifice. In expiating its guilt over past failures, the West has instead sacrificed the lives of the helpless civilians of Kosovo. That is unforgivable." In interviews published in various European newspapers Wednesday, NATO Secretary-General Javier Solana denied that the NATO attacks had increased the violence in Kosovo. "No, no," he told Corriere della Sera of Milan, Italy. "NATO's campaign began specifically to stop the violence. ... And we are doing everything we can to stop it." Corriere also carried an interview Wednesday with President Kiro Gilgorov of Macedonia, who took the same line. Slobodan Milosevic had been planning the "ethnic cleansing" for months, he said. Gilgorov called for NATO humanitarian aid for the Kosovar refugees pouring into his country and said the Russians were the only people in a position to influence Milosevic. The only outcome he ruled out was a world war. "The Soviet Union doesn't exist anymore, so whom would a world war be between?" he asked. "If there is a risk, it is that the conflict will destabilize other countries." In the British liberal press, which has been strongly supportive of the bombing campaign, the focus shifted Wednesday to humanitarian aid. The Guardian of London said in an editorial that aid was now the priority. "The same concentration of effort and the same plethora of assets lavished on the aerial war against Serbia must now be applied to the task of housing and caring for the refugees reeling out of Kosovo," it said. "That no preparations of this kind were made by the governments dealing with Milosevic or by the alliance military staffs as they laid their plans, is worse than a pity. It shows how feckless Europe and America have been in their approach to this crisis, and should at a later time be the subject of a serious inquiry." The Independent of London exposed its bleeding heart by filling its entire front page with a picture of two families of refugees under the headline: "This is the reality of the war. Two mothers, five children, seven days of bombing, 250,000 refugees. And no hope." In an editorial, the Independent called attention to "the other casualty of the bombs"--"the co-operation on foreign policy and military matters which the West and the Russians have developed since the end of the Cold War." It said the West would have to struggle to reintegrate Russia into international institutions and that the International Monetary Fund should begin this process by providing Russia with a generous loan. Among the conservative British newspapers, still regarding the use of ground troops as both desirable and a distinct possibility, the Times of London said in an editorial that Milosevic's "peace" offer to Russian Prime Minister Yevgeny Primakov had been just "a feint to split the Alliance" and urged the continuation of the war until Milosevic capitulated. But Russian newspapers, published Tuesday before the offer was made and rejected, were enthusiastic about Primakov's attempt at mediation. Nezavisimaya Gazeta said the conflict had given Russia an opportunity to be a key player again on the international stage, while Moskovsky Komsomolets said that Primakov could not lose out in any event. "If his mission fails, he will have the full moral right to say, 'I did all I could'; and if he succeeds, the rewards would be tremendous." The paper went on, "He would not only greatly increase his international standing, but the achievement of any peace, however fragile, in the Balkans would slow the deterioration of Russia's political situation at home." Albanian papers highlighted President Rexhep Meidani's appeal for international help in dealing with the vast influx of refugees and the establishment of a judicial task force in Albania to investigate Serb atrocities against the Kosovars. The papers were full of patriotic breast-beating. Under the headline "We Must Go to Pristina," the Democratic Party daily iRilindja Demokratikei called on Albanians to liberate the Kosovar capital from the "wounded beast" Milosevic. The refugees must return to Pristina, it added: "We will go to Pristina. There is no other way." In the Middle East, Iraqi writer Abdelamir al-Rakabi warned in the Pan-Arab al-Quds al-Arabi that if NATO's airstrikes lead to the capitulation of Milosevic, Iraq should prepare for an all-out Anglo-American drive to topple Saddam Hussein. But in the Jordanian daily al-Ra'i , Saleh Qallab argued that this fear is misplaced and should not be used as an excuse for Arabs to oppose the NATO action in the Balkans. Even if NATO has reasons for attacking Yugoslavia, the fact that one of them is to end the slaughter of Kosovar Muslims is a good enough reason for Arabs to support it. "There is no justification whatsoever for constantly invoking the idea that my enemy's enemy is my friend," Qallab wrote. In Israel Wednesday, Ha'aretz condemned the Israeli government for refusing to take sides in the Balkan conflict. It said Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and Foreign Minister Ariel Sharon had made only "vague declarations condemning genocide wherever it may be" and that Sharon had refrained from mentioning the Serbs, "as though both sides were massacring each other." Ha'aretz said it understood why some Israelis felt they owed the Serbs a debt of gratitude for their tenacious opposition to the Nazis during World War II, but added: "A much-persecuted nation, well versed in pogroms, cannot stand on the side, watching an institutionalized process of exterminating civilians based on religion and ethnicity. The Jewish debt to the Serbs from the time of the Holocaust does not justify Jewish apathy to the horrors the Serbs are perpetrating on the Albanians." For more Kosovo coverage, click . No. 218: "You Smell Something?" "It stinks in God's nostrils, and I know it stinks in the law's nostrils, and it stinks to me." Who said this about what? by 5 p.m. ET Sunday to e-mail your answer to newsquiz@slate.com . Wednesday's Question (No. 217)--"Unlisted": Up until Tuesday, Texan Robert White was No. 4 on a list of 3,600. What's the list and how did he get off it? "Contemporary plagues, according to the new Renewal Movement haggada. White, who won a spot on the list two years ago in a Tikkun contest, was dropped along with smog, imperialism, people who spit on the subway, and 972 others in an effort to make the Seder 'not quite so long, for a change.' "-- Daniel Radosh "The Rickey Ray Rector memorial execution list for tough-on-crime governors seeking to be president. Like Rector (of Arkansas), White is also brain-damaged, so he gets the chair."-- Norm Oder "List of 'worst-dressed Texans.' He got off the list by turning in his taffeta chaps and getting leather ones instead."-- Jon Hotchkiss "People magazine's 'Sexiest Murderers Alive' list, which he got off of by getting offed."-- Peter Carlin ( Tim Carvell had a similar answer.) "People who've sold George W. Bush cocaine, danced with him naked as a frat prank, or got good and puking drunk with him in a whore house. Or, oh yeah, helped him move a body. I'd say more, but let's wait until he wraps up the nomination."-- Chris "Contact Your Pastor for a Copy of My Videotape That Proves Everything" Kelly Click for more answers. Randy's Wrap-Up Stock cars, trailers, racism, and guns--no, not the answers to the four questions in the Theme Seder I attended last night, but what we know about Texas. We also know football, a narrow yet passionately held definition of manhood, and a cynical and ill-educated governor who'll do anything to achieve even higher office. But if you put "Texas" in the question, you get Texas in the answer. On the other hand: Had he given us the Dallas Cowboys but not given us beer can hats to wear to the game ... Dayanu ! Randy's Not Technically Part of the Wrap-Up The day four cops are arraigned on murder charges in the Amadou Diallo shooting, the mayor, with characteristic sensitivity, holds a ceremony to rename a city plaza for a policeman. That's the routine part. But a few hours later, in a frivolous bit of mutual assistance that involves declaring it "Out-of-Towners Day" to promote the just-remade Neil Simon movie--oh, yes, they're remaking Neil Simon movies--who's at city hall giggling and simpering with the mayor: Steve Martin. You know: the playwright, the New Yorker author, the ... you think of the word. Final Answer The list comprises people awaiting execution, arranged by time spent on death row; White was removed from the list by lethal injection. Robert White was on death row from Aug. 26, 1974, for killing three people with a stolen machine gun and stabbing a fourth, a gun collector. Only three men, two in Georgia and one in Florida, have been awaiting execution longer. White's final words were: "Send me to my maker, warden." A Personal Moment With David Finkle I agree with your father about the No Time for Sergeants saluting-toilets scene. I have always loved it. I loved it when I read the novel; I loved it when I saw the Broadway adaptation; I loved it when I saw the movie; I continue to love it. Truth is, I have always enjoyed toilet humor. It's my curse and my triumph. April Is the Cruelest Extra If you like your tax tips innovative, your conspiracy theories baroque, and your anti-Semitism classic, you can't beat the Posse Comitatus Web site. Their take on Kosovo: "jewish orchestrated MURDER of White Christians using the armed forces of the U.S and others under the cover of NATO!" Their take on U.S. politics: "THE RACIST JEWISH MAFIA CONTROL AMERICA 100%!" And yes, there is a transcript of the Anti-Defamation League hosted "Second Centennial Meeting of the Learned Elders of Zion." Also impressive are the dozens of links under "Jew Watch: Keeping a Close Watch on Jewish Communities & Organizations." One subcategory, "Jews on Stage, Screen, Musicians, Artists, Writers, etc.," lists hundreds of names along with capsule comments, an odd melange of minutiae, misinformation, and admiration so befuddling it's tough to tell if the list was assembled by -phobe or -philo Semites. I quote a few without comment. Jakob Dylan--lead singer of The Wallflowers and son of the great Bob Dylan Steve Lawrence--singer, skeptic, husband of Edie Gorme Keith Moon--The Who (Reputedly Jewish) Tony Parisi--of the Village People (cowboy) Elvis Presley--Jewish maternal grandparent Marcel Proust--Second most important writer (after Kafka) this century Robert Redford--Actor. Describes himself as "half Jewish" Mark Reizen--Great Russian bass, "probably the greatest bass voice Russia ever produced" Joan Rivers--Comedian/writer/jeweler/actress Adam Sandler--A GUY THAT WRITES SONGS FOR COOL JEWS! Surely it's assembled with a goofy sort of ethnic pride, but once it's on the Posse Comitatus site, does that matter? Common Denominator Bush ambition. Splat! Bam! Pow!
@#$%&! Fear no more, earthlings, the age of frustration and humiliation is over! I am the great Shopping Avenger, who hath descended to Earth from the planet Galleria in a nuclear-fueled Chrysler Town & Country minivan (base price: $27,385, left sliding door standard in most models) to save you from the dark forces of turbo-charged capitalism and shoddy customer service. OK, enough with the superhero shtick. It's unsustainable over several paragraphs. Here's the problem: Like most American shoppers, I've been doing my part to fuel the Dow to absurd heights. My own personal consumer confidence is high (up 2.5 percent just this last month!), and my spending is profligate--laptops and children's toys and weed whackers and coffee tables and SUVs. They make it, I buy it. Retail, even. But what do I get in return, except for 1 billion American Express Membership Rewards points (which I can apply toward, among other door prizes, an "NBA Black Leather Zip Daytimer") and a personal note from Robert Rubin thanking me for my help? Frustration is what I get. When I went searching The Home Depot for a replacement charger for the Skil Twist Xtra Flexi Charge Interchangeable Power System Cordless Screwdriver, did anyone there know what a Skil Twist Xtra Flexi Charge Interchangeable Power System Cordless Screwdriver even was? No. When Northwest Airlines charged me $1,000 for a ticket I didn't want and didn't order, could I even get anyone on the phone in less than 15 minutes? Also no! When I ordered Chechnya: Calamity in the Caucasus from Amazon.com and received instead a copy of Early Islamic Mysticism: Sufi, Quran, Miraj, Poets and Theological Writings , did I get justice in the form of a refund or a copy of the book I needed? No! (Although I am now a recognized Sufi master.) Just as I was writing this last paragraph, I received an e-mail from Amazon boy-wonder Jeff Bezos. I figured he was writing to apologize (Bezos claims to know what I want to read, so why shouldn't he also know when I'm mad at him?), but instead his e-mail--which he apparently sent to other people too--flacks his new, sure to lose money and at the same time boost his stock price another 200 percent venture, Amazon.com Auctions. I think I'll start by auctioning off my copy of Early Islamic Mysticism: Sufi, Quran, Miraj, Poets and Theological Writings . But the Shopping Avenger digresses. Now, I understand retail. I'm not naive. In order to boost quarterly earnings to meet the cosmically greedy expectations of a handful of Wall Street analysts who've never sold anything in their lives, American corporations must cut, cut, and cut again. Pensions are out, job security is out, and customer service is most definitely out. This column will not address such issues as pension rights and job security (though it will refer to them from time to time out of guilt--at one point, earlier in my life, I pretended to be a democratic socialist, and I was for a time an actual kibbutznik). This column instead will seek vengeance for you, the loyal American consumer.The Shopping Avenger was born a couple of years ago, at a dinner party in New York. I was seated next to a man who said he was one of the inventors of corporate voice-mail routing systems. (This, of course, was a lie--Al Gore was the inventor of corporate voice-mail routing systems.) I told him that, in my humble opinion, the advent of voice mail and the disappearance of live operators meant longer waits on the telephone for help. He said I was wrong. I told him I felt this fairly strongly. He again told me I was wrong: Surveys show that the waiting period for help has been cut by 98 percent, or some such number. I then told him that earlier in the day I had spent seven minutes pushing buttons in order to make a single airline reservation. He told me it was just my perception that I spent seven minutes pushing buttons. Then I called him an asshole, and that was that. It was then that I decided the American consumer needed help battling the forces of corporate arrogance. I felt I was the one to lead the charge. But like most selfless impulses, I thought about it for a while and the feeling eventually passed. But the Shopping Avenger was born again. He was born again in Toys "R" Us, where none of the employees seemed to know what a potty seat was, and he was born yet again at the Budget Rent a Car counter at La Guardia Airport, where the reservation he had made and confirmed suddenly ceased to exist, and where he got yelled at for his troubles. And so, this column. Here's how it works. You e-mail your tale of woe--inferior products, ignorant customer service--to shoppingavenger@slate.com, and the Shopping Avenger will use his reporting skills, which have been described by some as "almost supernatural in scope" (and have been described by others as "adequate" and "sort of pathetic") to extract on your behalf grudging apologies from faceless bureaucrats at Fortune 500 companies. First come, first served and, be warned, the Shopping Avenger looks askance at the bearing of false witness. Those companies that deserve praise will be praised. Onward! P.S.: The Shopping Avenger will also entertain questions about Sufi mysticism. Can Cutting Taxes Speed up Growth? For most Americans, taxes are their most visible and least pleasant contact with the federal government. Naturally, taxes are almost always near the top of the national policy agenda, and 1996 is no exception. This year, as in many recent years, the focus is likely to be on what is called the "supply-side" aspect of tax policy. Can tax reduction speed up the growth of the nation's output and the incomes of the population by increasing saving, investment, work, education, enterprise, research, and other factors that determine our capacity to produce? When Bob Dole is urged to put economic growth at the center of his election campaign, it is mainly the promise of tax reduction to achieve such effects that people have in mind. There are, of course, other considerations to be weighed in decisions about tax policy--fairness, and costs of compliance, for example--but the growth question dominates current discussion, and we shall mainly concentrate on that in this week's panel. Nothing very significant can be said about taxes in general, except that hardly anyone likes them. The effects of tax reduction on economic growth will depend on whether the reduction is an across-the-board cut of income-tax rates, a reduction of corporate-tax rates, a reduction of the tax on capital gains, a reduction of the tax on saved income, or one of a long list of other possibilities. The effects will depend also on the budgetary context in which the tax cuts are to occur. Would the proposed cut of some taxes be accompanied by increases of other taxes, and if so, which? For example, the "flat tax" that some people propose involves both a reduction of rates and an increase in the income subject to tax because of the elimination of various deductions. Would a proposed tax cut be accompanied by expenditure cuts, and if so, which? In our discussion, we shall try to examine the growth effects of various possible tax programs in their possible budgetary contexts. A Goose-Step Guide to Dating "We've just been sent a memo telling us we're not supposed to talk to the media," said the young male clerk at Barnes & Noble when I asked if he was selling a lot of copies of The Rules: Time Tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right , the slender, much-publicized manual of retro dating strategy for women. "But yes"--eyeball roll, sigh, grimace--"it's flying out of here." There went my theory that the book's sales (advertised as 800,000) reflected warehouse-size orders from the same cabal that inflated the numbers for Ancient Evenings , The Closing of the American Mind , A Brief History of Time , and many other supposed huge sellers that you've never actually seen outside a bookstore. Choosing my copy from a miniwall of identical pink paperbacks, I figured I should probably abandon my fallback theory too, which is that the only people who take the Rules seriously are journalists assigned to write about them. Certainly the B & N clerk, a dating man if I ever saw one, took them seriously. "It's all about mind games," he volunteered scornfully. "I hate that book." "Mind games" is right. The thesis of Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider's book is that for women who want to marry, lunacy is the best policy. Women who take the initiative--a broad category of behavior that includes most signs of life, not to mention common politeness--"destroy male ambition and animal drive. Men are born to respond to challenge. Take away challenge and their interest wanes." So, become a Rules Girl. Having first transformed yourself (Rule 1) into "a creature unlike any other"--radiant, confident, fashionable, mysterious, elusive, quiet, and, if necessary, nose-jobbed--don't talk to a man first (2) or too much (3), don't go Dutch (4) or sleep with him on the first date (14), don't call him and rarely return his calls (5), always end phone calls (6) and dates (11) first, and never accept a Saturday night date after Wednesday (7). As you might expect from a book that mingles pop Darwinism with the Weltanschauung of Cosmopolitan , the Rules can be a bit mysterious and elusive themselves--you can't introduce yourself to your neighbor, but taking out a personal ad is OK, and how's a girl to square the whole project of "conditioning" the marriage-averse man with Rules 17 (Let Him Take the Lead) and 18 (Don't Expect a Man to Change or Try to Change Him)? You could see The Rules as a weird fantasia on the theme of, "Why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free?" But what sets it apart from, say, "Dear Abby," is the demented, quasi-military precision of the Rules. Buy a timer and set it for 10 minutes when he calls. Practice the rules on the doorman and the butcher--let them say "hello" first to you . If your beau fails to come across with a "romantic gift" for your birthday and Valentine's Day, he obviously doesn't love you; so show him the door! Don't just read the Rules--memorize them. By the end of the book, when you're being advised to join a support group to help you resist the urge to have a normal conversation with your boyfriend, the whole enterprise has a distinctly cultish flavor. (Rule 31: Don't Discuss The Rules with Your Therapist.) The Rules isn't just about manipulating men; it's about manipulating the reader too. The eerie assurance with which the authors insist that the Rules always work and that any deviation brings disaster is strangely nervous-making, like one of those chain letters that alludes darkly to people who dropped dead after failing to pass it on. Could it possibly be that my 13-year-long marriage was jinxed from Day One because I called my future husband first and suggested coffee--in his neighborhood, yet, instead of my own? Actually, no. Life's much more complicated. Sure, men like a challenge--but so do women. And nobody likes to be challenged all the time. I know plenty of long-standing happy couples who slept together right away, spent hours yakking on the phone, split checks down the middle, and lived together for years before the wedding. The notion that female initiative is useless because men know what they want is particularly odd--most people don't even know what they want for dinner. Even odder is the notion that what men want is a woman who's always on her way out the door. Since The Rules do not reflect reality, what is their appeal--and to whom? Undoubtedly, the book owes much of its visibility to the general mood of anti-feminism and family-values conservatism. But to see its popularity as evidence of rejection of feminism by "women" is much too vague. In the pages of The Rules , men are a barely individualized collection of amiable dolts, but the Rules Girl is a particular social type--and it isn't the choosy free spirit lectured in such anti-feminist self-help books as Smart Women, Foolish Choices . The woman depicted as in need of the Rules is a voracious doormat, the sort of woman who sends men Hallmark greeting cards or long letters after a single date, who rummages in men's drawers and pockets, suggests couples therapy when brief relationships start to crumble, throws away a new boyfriend's old clothes, cleans (and redecorates) his apartment without asking, and refuses to see the most obvious signs of disengagement. Her problem isn't too much liberation; it's incredibly low self-esteem. For women like this, The Rules might seem like a way of setting boundaries on a personality that has none, of giving a sense of purpose and structure to a life that seems "empty" (a recurrent word), of offering women who fear they are worthless a way of acting as if they were precious--"a creature unlike any other"--in the hope that the pose may become reality. Of course, this is unlikely--a motormouth cannot be "quiet and mysterious" forever, timer or no timer, and The Rules ' blithe assurance that Mr. Right, reeled in by your "friendly, light, and breezy" persona, will accept your edgy, insecure, and engulfing true self is, perhaps, the cruelest fantasy in the book. Although the Rules Girl is anything but Everywoman, the world depicted in the book is unfortunately the one in which millions of single men and women live: a corporatized and highly competitive world of office jobs and aerobics classes, personal ads, nose jobs and diets, singles dances, self-help seminars, and spiritual fads. It's not a very warm or kind world, or one with much room for originality or playfulness or waywardness or even what I would call "romance." Friends matter because you need someone to rent a beach house or go to a singles dance with. Politics and volunteer work and books are just ways to keep busy between dates. The Darwinian theme prominent in much of the discussion about dating just now reflects this world well: men and women, different by nature and with innately opposed interests, each trying to exploit the other first. You don't have to like the other sex--you don't even have to like your lover. You just have to need him or her--for sex, babies, "romantic gifts," attention, money, acceptability in a society organized around the couple. Indeed, the subtext of The Rules is resentment toward men: As the authors put it in their inimitable fashion, "[T]he man is the adversary (if he's someone you really like)." Why? "He has the power to hurt you ... he runs the show." When feminists suggest that men run the show--any show--they get labeled man-haters and whiners. But then, feminists want to change the rules, not memorize them. The Norplant Option Now that Congress and President Clinton have opted to use the threat of utter destitution to dissuade poor teen-agers and women from having children on the public dole, it's time to revive a more humane, and perhaps more effective, proposal with the same objective. This idea surfaced briefly and spectacularly in 1990, when the Philadelphia Inquirer suggested in an editorial that perhaps some welfare mothers should be "offered an increased benefit" if they would agree to practice effective birth control--specifically, to use the then-new Norplant contraceptive, which prevents pregnancy for five years after being implanted under the skin of the upper arm. An uproar followed. The editorial writers--who had insensitively suggested a desire to reduce births of poor black babies in particular--were savaged by many Inquirer staffers and others as racist advocates of eugenics, even of "genocide." They also caught it from some abortion-rights zealots, who are suspicious of any government efforts to influence reproductive choices, and from conservatives, who think the only proper way to discourage teen pregnancy is to preach abstinence. The newspaper abjectly apologized for a "misguided and wrongheaded editorial opinion." And ever since, the whole subject has been taboo. But it's still a good idea, for poor girls and women themselves, and for the rest of us. Millions of babies are being born to poor teen-agers so lacking in elementary skills, work habits, and self-discipline that they are unlikely to be either responsible parents or self-supporting providers. Many of these babies grow up in squalor and themselves become dependent denizens of the welfare culture. The only realistic hope for breaking the bleak cycle of teen pregnancy and welfare dependency is to find ways to persuade poor teen-agers not to have babies--at least, not until they are old enough, and capable enough, and self-supporting enough to provide a decent home life. But nobody--nobody--has any great ideas for realizing this hope, short of reverting to the cruelest, let-'em-starve brand of social Darwinism. Thoughtful progressives like Sen. Daniel Patrick Moynihan, D-N.Y., have properly stressed the need to push welfare mothers into jobs and job-training programs. This makes sense because some of these women will rise to the occasion, learn the work ethic, and become self-supporting. And others may be dissuaded from having children by the prospect of being required to work. But (as Moynihan acknowledges) many welfare mothers are so crippled by their own early childhood environments as to be essentially unemployable, no matter how well-financed and well-run the jobs programs and related counseling, training, and child-care programs. And under the harsh new welfare reform, the jobs programs will not be well financed. It appears that millions of welfare mothers and children will simply be cut off--unable to get or hold jobs, and left to beg from relatives and strangers, to steal what they can, even to sleep on the streets, depending on how much Calcutta-style misery the taxpayers are willing to tolerate. Given the stark ugliness of trying to end the welfare culture by spreading homelessness and hunger, it's especially striking that one pretty good, pretty humane idea has been virtually ignored in the welfare debate of the past year. In a small effort to reopen discussion of this option, here's a specific proposal: States should experiment with programs in which all qualifying teen-agers and women would be offered lump-sum $1,000 cash payments--on top of any other benefits they receive--to have Norplant (or another long-term contraceptive) implanted at government expense. They would be free to have it removed whenever they chose, but would be rewarded with additional payments (of, say, $30) for each month in which they kept it. The category of qualifying teen-agers and women could include all recipients of welfare or other public assistance (including daughters of recipients) who are competent to give informed consent to the implant procedure. Or the program could be restricted in various ways in order to blunt possible objections. For example, you could require parental consent. Or, eligibility could be restricted to those who have already been pregnant, or at least sexually active; to those over age 13, or under age 21; or some combination thereof. Why Norplant? Because it requires no ongoing effort or supervision to be effective, and it can be discontinued only after some (rather small) effort. As such, Norplant is the only contraceptive the government could pay people to use with any hope of affecting those who aren't strongly motivated to either become pregnant or avoid pregnancy. How much good the Norplant option would do is debatable. But the arguments that it would do harm seem unpersuasive. Here's a quick review of possible objections, left and right: B ribing poor women and girls to implant Norplant would coerce them into not having children, thus violating their rights to reproductive choice, like the one-child-per-family policy and coerced abortions in China. To the contrary, a government offer of money is not coercion--and not even remotely comparable to what goes on in China. Existing benefits would not be reduced for anyone declining Norplant. This means that nobody who really wanted a child would be prevented from having one. To be sure, the government would be trying to influence reproductive choices. But the same is true of existing policies promoting free contraception, and of laws like the Hyde Amendment, which denies Medicaid funding for abortions--not to mention the still extant statutes making it a crime to commit statutory rape (sex with a consenting minor), fornication (premarital sex), and adultery. In its groveling 1990 editorial apology, the Inquirer said: "Our critics countered that to dangle cash or some other benefit in front of a desperately poor woman is tantamount to coercion. They're right." No, they were wrong, and the Inquirer was right in its initial Norplant editorial, when it noted that women would be free to "change their minds at any point and become fertile again." "Many people," David Boldt, then-editor of the Inquirer's editorial page, noted in a subsequent commentary, "saw the editorial as part of an ongoing white conspiracy to carry out genocide of blacks in America." This is pernicious nonsense, no matter how many people say it. The original Inquirer editorial unwittingly invited such smears by linking its Norplant proposal to race--specifically, to a report that nearly half the nation's black children are living in poverty. But nobody is proposing that race be a factor in any program promoting Norplant to welfare recipients, most of whom are white. Nobody is proposing to sterilize women or forbid them from having children. And while a disproportionate percentage of welfare mothers and children are black, black America, like white America, can only benefit from any program that rewards people for avoiding pregnancy unless and until they are old enough and self-supporting enough to provide decently for children. G irls and women on Norplant may be at greater risk of contracting and spreading AIDS, because they will be less likely to demand that their sex partners use condoms. A 1994 study reported in The New England Journal of Medicine found that Norplant had no effect on recipients' decisions whether to use condoms or visit doctors--and was 19 times as effective as the pill in preventing pregnancy. Any Norplant incentive program should include vigorous counseling about the need to use condoms against disease. But even now, how many women and girls are so much more afraid of pregnancy than of death that they use condoms solely to avoid the former, and would stop once on Norplant? Not many, I suspect. N orplant itself may be unhealthy. The possibility of serious long-term health damage from any relatively new contraceptive like Norplant must be taken seriously, and the risks should, of course, be fully disclosed to women considering using it. But no contraceptive is risk-free. And the available evidence indicates that the risks inherent in pregnancy and childbirth--and in abortion--are at least as great as the risks inherent in Norplant. Plaintiffs' tort lawyers have nearly killed off Norplant, scaring away many women and doctors, by a torrent of personal-injury suits against its manufacturer. The lawyers include many of the same folks who created a tidal wave of litigation based on the apparently bogus claim about the dangers of silicone breast implants. But the Food and Drug Administration has repeatedly found Norplant to be safe and effective. More than a million women have used it with only minor side effects, such as changing menstrual bleeding patterns, reported. There have been complaints by a small percentage of Norplant users of severe pain or scarring from having it removed. But the apparent reason was inadequate training of physicians in the (usually quick and painless) removal procedure--an easily remedied problem--and not any inherent defect in the product. I t is sexist to seek to thrust contraception only upon women. Sexism has nothing to do with it. First, almost all welfare checks are written to women--not to men, who don't get pregnant. Second, the only forms of contraception now available for men are condoms and vasectomies. It would hardly make sense to hand out $1,000 payments to men for taking home a bunch of condoms, or to try to police their use. And a vasectomy--unlike a Norplant implant-- cannot always be reversed. Giving teen-agers contraceptives encourages promiscuity, and bribing them to use Norplant will encourage it even more. The weight of the evidence suggests that teen-agers' decisions whether or not to engage in sexual activity don't have much to do with whether the government gives them contraceptives. Many have unprotected sex, and almost all can get contraceptives if they want them. As I have suggested, one possible restriction (although not one I would favor) on any Norplant incentive program would be to limit eligibility to teen-agers who have already been pregnant or, at least, sexually active. Norplant counselors could also stress the benefits of abstinence, while presenting the contraceptive as a backup safeguard. T een-agers should learn about sex and contraception from their parents, not the government. A parental-consent requirement would answer this objection. I would not advocate such a requirement, however, because of the overwhelming evidence that many parents have little or no constructive communication with their children about such matters. I hope that my own two daughters (now 12 and nine years old) would consult with me and my wife before getting Norplant or becoming sexually active. But if they end up deciding to go their own ways, I'd rather that they have unrestricted access to Norplant than that they risk pregnancy. Would a Norplant program be thwarted by the fact that many poor teen-agers actually want to get pregnant and have a child? I don't think so. First, there are about 3 million unwanted pregnancies in the United States every year, half of which end in abortion. Many of these involve teen-agers and women who are (or will be) on welfare. Norplant could stop almost all these. Second, the allure of pregnancy for many other poor teen-agers may be so slight, or so fleeting, or so fraught with ambivalence, that a $1,000 Norplant incentive would have plenty of takers. And even if such a program only delayed pregnancies a few years, that would be a very good thing. Most 15-year-olds would be better mothers, and have a better chance of making something of their own lives, if they waited five or seven years before having babies. Norplant is no panacea for poverty; nothing is. The question is whether a Norplant incentive program might do some good. There's only one way to find out: Give it a try. If it fails, the cost--in terms of numbers of teen-agers and women taking the $1,000 offer--will be tiny. And it just might help. Amazon.Con Amazon.com calls itself "Earth's Biggest Bookstore," and the media, online and off, have accepted that claim uncritically. "The toast of cyberspace" is the Economist 's accurate characterization of this Internet book-ordering service, which was founded in 1995. Time rated Amazon one of the 10 best Web sites of 1996. The Washington Post called Amazon a "megawarehouse." The New Yorker pointedly compared Amazon's claimed inventory of 1.1 million books with the mere 170,000 titles available at a Barnes & Noble superstore. In fact, Amazon's "megawarehouse" in downtown Seattle contains just 200 or so titles. Any other book must be obtained from a wholesale distributor or the publisher. This is exactly what any traditional bookstore does when it doesn't have a book in stock. The difference is that traditional bookstores start out with a lot more than 200 titles in stock. "Earth's Biggest Bookstore"? More like "Earth's Smallest." How does Amazon get the books it doesn't have in its warehouse? According to Jennifer Cast, vice president for marketing, it uses several big distributors--including the Ingram Book Co., one of the largest--and sometimes, it calls the book's publisher directly. She says that in certain cases, it has even called the authors. And how do less advanced booksellers do it? At Politics and Prose, a small local bookstore in northwest Washington, D.C., one employee told us, "We try Ingram first, ... and then call the publishers." At a northern Virginia outlet of Borders Books, the superstore chain, an employee said: "It's no secret we try Ingram. ... If all that fails, I guess we go to the publishers." So why shop at Amazon? Cast gives four reasons: "One, we have a lower price. Two, we have a better selection. Three, we're probably much faster. And we're definitely more convenient." We conducted an experiment to test these claims. On Dec. 16 we ordered the same two books from Amazon, Politics and Prose, and Borders. All three were told to gift-wrap and ship each book as soon as possible. One book was Scott Turow's newest novel, The Laws of Our Fathers , the kind of best seller that even Amazon actually has in stock. The other was an obscure psychology text even Borders wouldn't carry, chosen from the catalog of the State University of New York Press, called The Ego and the Dynamic Ground: A Transpersonal Theory of Human Development (second edition), by Michael Washburn. How did the three booksellers compare by Amazon's own standards? Selection? We've covered that. If you define "inventory" as any book a store can special-order for you, as Amazon does, then the selection is identical at almost every halfway-decent bookstore in America. At Amazon, you can browse through all the titles and authors--and through some descriptive material--by computer. At a conventional bookstore, you can pick up and leaf through actual books, but fewer of them. Convenience? For ordering, Politics and Prose was by far the easiest. Heidi answered the phone on the first ring. She was chatty, but professional. The store had "many, many, many" copies of the Turow on hand, and she promised to send one out "right away, tomorrow morning at the very, very latest." When asked about the psych text, Heidi apologized ("sorry, sorry") for not carrying it, and offered to order it. Estimated time of arrival: four weeks. She took a name, address, credit-card number. The entire phone call took 2 minutes and 38 seconds. Borders was slightly less helpful. When asked to send the Turow, Drew groaned at our lowbrow taste, but quickly said he'd send it the next day. The second selection's obscurity didn't cheer him up: "Ugh, can't do you the Washburn book." When pressed, he said it could be ordered, but would probably take two weeks. Borders' system is that when the book arrives, you are sent a postcard asking you to come to the store and pick it up. Can't they just send the book? "We prefer people do it this way," Drew said, but then he gave in and agreed to send it. Total phone time: 9 minutes and 32 seconds. After calling the stores, we connected to Amazon using Netscape Navigator 3.0 and a 28,800-baud modem. Amazon has a special page dedicated to the Turow book, complete with a picture of the cover and some unenlightening amateur commentaries from other Amazon users. The psychology text, not surprisingly, was listed with no description and no commentaries. Amazon said it would take one to two weeks to order. After clicking your purchases into a "shopping cart," you are directed to a "secure Netscape server" that will encrypt your credit-card information. After this is done, you are told: "Finalizing Your Order Is Easy." Nothing could be further from the truth. Lower down in the verbiage, Amazon concedes, "Though we have tried hard to make this form easy to use, we know that it can be quite confusing the first time." Amazon users have to page through screen after screen of details about shipping charges, refund rules, and disclaimers about availability and pricing. Then you are told to allow between three and seven days for delivery after your book leaves Amazon's warehouse. "Upgrading to Next Day Air does NOT [their emphasis] mean you'll get your order the next day." Total online time from when we accessed Amazon's home page to when we completed the book order: 37 minutes and 12 seconds. It would be shorter once you got the hang of it. Speed? Turow's book arrived in three days from both Borders and Politics and Prose, in plenty of time before Christmas. Politics and Prose wrapped the book perfectly. Borders wrapped it attractively, but left the receipt inside. The Turow didn't arrive from Amazon until Dec. 27--more than a week after the conventional stores. Furthermore, the wrapping looked as if it had been done by a fourth grader. However, it came bundled with the obscure psych book (which still hadn't arrived from the conventional stores as of New Year's Day). Eleven days for that one is pretty good. As for the Turow, we had checked a box asking that each book be sent separately, as soon as possible--so, either Amazon ignored these instructions or it really needed the full 11 days to get the Turow to us. By the way, let's not forget that in a conventional bookstore, you can also--if you choose--acquire books in zero days, by "going to" the store in the pre-Internet sense of actually going there. Price? Amazon and Borders both offered the Turow for 30 percent off the list price. Politics and Prose offered 20 percent off. All three wanted full price for the psych book. Amazon charges $3 plus 95 cents per book for standard shipping. Borders charged $4 to ship the Turow, and Politics and Prose, $3.50. Amazon charges $2 a book for gift-wrapping, which is free at the other two stores, but Amazon accidentally charged only $2 for wrapping both books. Finally, stores with local outlets must charge sales tax on shipped items; Amazon does not (unless you live in Washington state). In all, the Turow cost $23.72 from Borders and $26.30 from Politics and Prose. If Amazon had sent it separately as we had instructed, it would have cost $24.82. Gift-wrapped and sent separately, the psych text would cost more at Amazon than at the other two; unwrapped and bundled, about the same. There is a third category of books (besides those that everyone has in stock and those that no one has in stock). These are books that Amazon doesn't have in stock, but a normal bookstore does. (Barnes & Noble's 170,000-strong inventory, sniffed at by The New Yorker , is a good example.) This category is Amazon's greatest weakness. It includes hardly obscure current books that aren't best sellers, like The New Our Bodies, Ourselves , produced by the Boston Women's Heath Book Collective. Borders' had three copies on the premises. Amazon needs two to three days to obtain this one, plus between three and seven days to send it to you. Likewise for a classic like the Penguin paperback of Charles Dickens' A Tale of Two Cities , which any Borders or Barnes & Noble will have on hand. Then there's a semiobscure book such as Robert Marr Wright's Dodge City: The Cowboy Capital and the Great Southwest . This hardcover book about cowboys is on Borders' shelves. At Amazon it is listed as a "special order," which means it might be available to be shipped in four to six weeks, but, our computer informs us: "PLEASE NOTE that it might not be available at all. Publishers do not always notify the book community about changes in the availability of their titles." Not available? So much for the pretense that Amazon's list of 1.1 million books makes it "Earth's Biggest Bookstore" in even a metaphorical sense. Hollywood Party The party for the Golden Globe nominees was high up in Beverly Hills. I had been invited by a woman who has lived in Los Angeles for almost 20 years and is now a noted Hollywood anthropologist. As we rounded a turn, a pair of big metal gates appeared before us. Behind them, set on the crest of a hill, was a large white house in the contemporary Californian style. In front of the gates, a dozen or so young men stood around in dark uniforms. I thought for a moment that they were a brass band, but they turned out to be the valet parkers. I was just realizing why the Californian unemployment rate is so low when a dark Ford Windstar minivan pulled up next to us. We climbed in and were driven approximately 30 yards to the steps of the house, where we got out again. The front door was opened by yet more valets, and we were bidden inside. The hosts, veteran studio executive Mike Medavoy and his wife, Irina, were there to greet us. Mike, a black V-neck jumper and open-necked shirt covering his ample torso, looked like he had just stepped off the 18 th green. Irina, it must be said, didn't. A striking blonde, she was wearing high heels, velvet trousers, and a black cardigan that my escort helpfully described as a "peekaboo top." As I struggled manfully to avoid staring at her cleavage, she explained that the house had been built four years ago, and that she had redecorated it throughout. What she didn't say, understandably, was that the house had been built for her husband's previous wife, Patricia Duff, who had used it to throw fund-raisers for her powerful friends in the Democratic Party. Then, Patricia left Mike and took up with Ron Perelman, the Republican-leaning financier. At about the same time that Mike lost Patricia, he also lost his job as head of TriStar Pictures. Even here, where the locals are used to ups and downs of a personal and business nature, that was considered quite a twofer. According to my date, the real purpose of the party was to mark Medavoy's return to the big leagues. As chairman of the suitably named Phoenix Pictures, he is once more making films, including one that might win an Oscar, The People vs. Larry Flynt . And in Irina, he has a new wife who, while she might not have his ex's political clout, has just as much glamour and sex appeal. If prestige in Hollywood is measured in pulling power, then Medavoy is definitely back on top. Looking around, the first person I saw was Sean Penn. He was standing alone in a corner, clad in black jeans, black T-shirt, and black leather jacket. I was thinking what a good job he was doing of playing up to his image as a brooding misfit when a bathroom door opened next to him and a 3-year-old girl walked out and jumped into his arms. He smiled broadly, mumbled fatherly nothings into his daughter's ear, and carried her upstairs. "Hollywood's gone baby," my date whispered. Moving further into the house, I felt the same sense of surprise that I always feel in the presence of movie celebrities: surprise that they look so familiar. Here was James Woods, talking a million miles a minute to Anthony Minghella, the director of The English Patient , and appearing for all the world like he was playing the manic Richard Boyle in Salvador . There was Gabriel Byrne, nursing a Heineken, every inch the handsome villain of The Usual Suspects . And here was Jeff Goldblum, angular and geeky, looking like he had just stepped out of that helicopter in Jurassic Park . He was just back from Hawaii, where he had been filming The Lost World , the sequel to that monster smash. "What's the plot, Jeff?" I asked, casually, as if I had known him all my life. "It's a big secret," he replied. "Oh, come on," my date insisted. "Well, they tempt me to go back to an island where there are more dinosaurs." "What sort of dinosaurs?" "Stegosaurs--the fat ones with ripples on their back." The Medavoys' house is beautiful, with large, airy rooms and white walls covered with modern art. On virtually every surface are photographs of the Medavoys with famous people. Mike in the Oval Office with Bill Clinton. Mike with Ronald Reagan. Mike with Richard Nixon, with Nelson Mandela, with Al Gore, with Barbra Streisand, with Henry Kissinger. The only notable absentee was his former wife. In the drawing room, we ran into another tall actor, James Cromwell, who recently appeared in The People vs. Larry Flynt . When he heard I was a writer, Cromwell told me that he had just finished writing a novel. "What's it about?" I asked. "Contact," he replied. "Pardon." "Contact ... the shadow ... what separates us from our destiny." " 'Contact.' You mean 'alien contact'?" He nodded. "The spaceship in the New Mexico desert and all that? You think we have been contacted by life from other planets?" He nodded again and said: "Yes. Regularly. Ever since 1947. You just have to look on the Internet. There are 10 or 20 sightings a month." Iwent outside for a drink. The stone-flagged veranda was roughly the size of a baseball diamond, and it seemed to overlook the whole of Los Angeles, which was a mosaic of orange and white lights. At the bar, I found myself next to two nondescript youths who were chugging down a couple of beers. "You're really popular in Europe, man," one said to the other. "Yeah, the English and French really like me." "Japan, too." "Yeah, Japan too. I'm a big star in Japan. I've won lots of awards and shit over there. It's really weird." My eavesdropping was interrupted by a loud cry from inside the house. When I got there, I found myself next to the hostess. "What happened?" she asked. "Somebody ran down the stairs on their hands," came the answer from the crowd. "My God, somebody ran down the stairs on their hands in my house," she shrieked, clearly delighted. The party was now in full swing. Belatedly, I realized that a lot of people in the house were foreigners. My date explained that this is always the case at awards parties these days. She said the Hollywood studios have largely given up producing serious movies, so they have to rely on Europeans and antipodeans to make films that won't embarrass the industry when the Oscars come around. Unfortunately, many members of the academy have never heard of a lot of these foreign movies, so there is an event every January called the Golden Globe Awards to tell them what films to watch before they vote. Scott Hicks, the director of Shine , is one of the beneficiaries of this shift. Having just got off a 16-hour flight from Adelaide, the longhaired Aussie seemed somewhat bemused by all the fuss. "I'm trying to figure out what it is about Shine that appeals to people so much," he told me. "I really don't know." I asked Hicks whether he was planning to move to Hollywood, but he said he was wary of repeating the experiences of other young foreign directors who have tried it, such as Neil Jordan and Mike Figgis. "They tend to have a huge cock-up and leave," Hicks said. For now, he added, he was "determined to enjoy the moment." So were Alan Parker, the director of Evita , and Mike Leigh, the director of Secrets and Lies . When I ran across the two Brits, they were knocking back the white wine and discussing that most English of subjects: the class system. Parker and Leigh are both self-made men and supporters of the British Labor Party, but Parker has worked primarily in Hollywood for almost two decades, whereas Leigh stayed in London to make his low-budget films. Although they admire each other's work, this was clearly a point of some tension between them. "Mike Leigh knows sod-all about the working class," Parker said to me, apropos of nothing. Fortunately, Leigh didn't hear that slur. I asked him how much money it took to produce Secrets and Lies . "Three million quid," he said proudly. By this stage, the belle of the ball had finally arrived: Courtney Love, who stars in The People vs Larry Flynt . At least, I think it was Courtney Love. To be honest, she didn't look anything like the grunge singer I remembered from MTV. She was thinner, some of her facial features appeared to have changed shape, her blond hair was curled, and she was wearing a beautiful white maxi with a flowered pattern on it. I vaguely recalled something about her appearing in Vogue recently, but this was less a fashion makeover and more a transmogrification. I was too frightened to approach Courtney, but Mike Leigh wasn't. He walked around in a circle, inspecting her as if she were a prize steed. "What's this?" he asked, pointing to a dramatic red-and-black tattoo that covered most of her right shoulder. "Oh, it's from my death-rock phase," she replied. The rest of the evening is something of a blur to me. At some point, my date appeared and said it was time to go. It was almost midnight, which is considered late in Los Angeles. On the way out, we passed Mike Medavoy. He was sitting on the staircase with Irina on one side of him and Julia Ormond, the beautiful British actress, on the other. Way to go, Mike. Privatize Marriage In the debate over whether to legalize gay marriage, both sides are missing the point. Why should the government be in the business of decreeing who can and cannot be married? Proponents of gay marriage see it as a civil-rights issue. Opponents see it as another example of minority "rights" being imposed on the majority culture. But why should anyone have--or need to have--state sanction for a private relationship? As governments around the world contemplate the privatization of everything from electricity to Social Security, why not privatize that most personal and intimate of institutions, marriage? "Privatizing" marriage can mean two slightly different things. One is to take the state completely out of it. If couples want to cement their relationship with a ceremony or ritual, they are free to do so. Religious institutions are free to sanction such relationships under any rules they choose. A second meaning of "privatizing" marriage is to treat it like any other contract: The state may be called upon to enforce it, but the parties define the terms. When children or large sums of money are involved, an enforceable contract spelling out the parties' respective rights and obligations is probably advisable. But the existence and details of such an agreement should be up to the parties. And privatizing marriage would, incidentally, solve the gay-marriage problem. It would put gay relationships on the same footing as straight ones, without implying official government sanction. No one's private life would have official government sanction--which is how it should be. Andrew Sullivan, one of the leading advocates of gay marriage, writes, "Marriage is a formal, public institution that only the government can grant." But the history of marriage and the state is more complicated than modern debaters imagine, as one of its scholars, Lawrence Stone, writes: "In the early Middle Ages all that marriage implied in the eyes of the laity seems to have been a private contract between two families. ... For those without property, it was a private contract between two individuals, enforced by the community sense of what was right." By the 16 th century the formally witnessed contract, called the "spousals," was usually followed by the proclamation of the banns three times in church, but the spousals itself was a legally binding contract. Only with the Earl of Hardwicke's Marriage Act of 1754 did marriage in England come to be regulated by law. In the New England colonies, marriages were performed by justices of the peace or other magistrates from the beginning. But even then common-law unions were valid. In the 20 th century, however, government has intruded upon the marriage contract, among many others. Each state has tended to promulgate a standard, one-size-fits-all formula. Then, in the past generation, legislatures and courts have started unilaterally changing the terms of the marriage contract. Between 1969 and 1985 all the states provided for no-fault divorce. The new arrangements applied not just to couples embarking on matrimony but also to couples who had married under an earlier set of rules. Many people felt a sense of liberation; the changes allowed them to get out of unpleasant marriages without the often contrived allegations of fault previously required for divorce. But some people were hurt by the new rules, especially women who had understood marriage as a partnership in which one partner would earn money and the other would forsake a career in order to specialize in homemaking. Privatization of religion--better known as the separation of church and state--was our founders' prescription for avoiding Europe's religious wars. Americans may think each other headed for hell, but we keep our religious views at the level of private proselytizing and don't fight to impose one religion by force of law. Other social conflicts can likewise be depoliticized and somewhat defused if we keep them out of the realm of government. If all arts funding were private (as 99 percent of it already is), for instance, we wouldn't have members of Congress debating Robert Mapplethorpe's photographs or the film The Watermelon Woman . So why not privatize marriage? Make it a private contract between two individuals. If they wanted to contract for a traditional breadwinner/homemaker setup, with specified rules for property and alimony in the event of divorce, they could do so. Less traditional couples could keep their assets separate and agree to share specified expenses. Those with assets to protect could sign prenuptial agreements that courts would respect. Marriage contracts could be as individually tailored as other contracts are in our diverse capitalist world. For those who wanted a standard one-size-fits-all contract, that would still be easy to obtain. Wal-Mart could sell books of marriage forms next to the standard rental forms. Couples would then be spared the surprise discovery that outsiders had changed their contract without warning. Individual churches, synagogues, and temples could make their own rules about which marriages they would bless. And what of gay marriage? Privatization of the institution would allow gay people to marry the way other people do: individually, privately, contractually, with whatever ceremony they might choose in the presence of family, friends, or God. Gay people are already holding such ceremonies, of course, but their contracts are not always recognized by the courts and do not qualify them for the 1049 federal laws that the General Accounting Office says recognize marital status. Under a privatized system of marriage, courts and government agencies would recognize any couple's contract--or, better yet, eliminate whatever government-created distinction turned on whether a person was married or not. Marriage is an important institution. The modern mistake is to think that important things must be planned, sponsored, reviewed, or licensed by the government. The two sides in the debate over gay marriage share an assumption that is essentially collectivist. Instead of accepting either view, let's get the government out of marriage and allow individuals to make their own marriage contracts, as befits a secular, individualist republic at the dawn of the information age. If At First You Don't Secede Forget the Alamo! This sounds crass, but I can't deny it: I desperately wanted the standoff at the Republic of Texas trailer-trash compound to last longer than it did--for selfish reasons. Not weeks longer, mind you. Just a few hours. Just long enough for me to get there . Having missed all the famous government vs. fringe standoffs--Ruby Ridge, Waco, the Montana Freemen--I was determined to go and bear witness this time. I would find out at last if mysterious U.N.-dispatched "black helicopters" really buzz around at these things like giant hell-spawned bumblebees. I would document the local movements of guts-and-glory militia reinforcements. (A militia offensive of some sort was widely rumored on the Net, where one rabid militia man wrote: "WE HAVE HAD A BELLY FULL OF THE FBI, BATF, DEA, ETC. ETC. ... Lock and Load, prepare to Rock and Roll.") It sounds silly now, but militia trouble did seem plausible at Fort Davis. Wednesday, April 30, three days after the siege began, several heavily armed Republic of Texas members were apprehended at a truck stop near Pecos, Texas, about 90 miles from the action. Alas, none of it was to be. I took off from Newark, N.J., at 6:30 p.m. Saturday, May 3. After landing in El Paso, I called a militia contact who had agreed to ask around about possible right-wing bivouacs. (I even brought camping gear!) Things looked "hot" when I left--from inside his "embassy," ROT leader Richard McLaren was busily faxing out apocalyptic maydays--but his hot blood turned to pink Jell-O. "Hey!" said my contact. "Guess you heard. It's over." "What? No! McLaren was talking so tough." "Well, he came out." While I groaned, he described the final hours. McLaren had swallowed the old negotiator's bait of surrender "with honor." The lawmen treated him like the head of a brave conquered nation. He would be allowed to press in court his claim that the Republic of Texas had been illegally annexed by the United States in 1845. Then he would go to jail for many years. Not the best of deals, but he obviously preferred it to Plan B: getting shot. Irented a car and putted around morosely, listening to the radio and mulling over my options. Texas lawmen were boasting, justifiably, about the happy outcome. Yes, there was one tiny glitch--two ROT activists had somehow slipped away--but that was no problem. A drawling official said these fugitives were not experienced in the back country, so they would be easy pickings. For my part, I knew there would be little left to see. The militia would "stand down." Even the trailer compound--which had been tricked out with Swiss Family Robinson-style self-defense gizmos--was still off-limits to the media. There was, however, one notable event left: Sunday, members of the other factions of the Republic of Texas were holding a big rally in Kilgore, to make clear that the movement would live on. (The republic, as you probably know, contains three competing clans.) I unfolded my map. Hmmm. Kilgore was way over by Louisiana. Even at 75 miles per hour, I could count on driving at least 12 hours, making it just in time for the opening gavel at 1 p.m. Was it worth it? No, but what else could I do--go see the Carlsbad Caverns? I buckled up and hit the road. My Countries, Right or Wrong The trip was worth it, at least in terms of understanding what motivates Republic of Texas believers. What motivates them is: They're nuts. All of them. That word is somewhat loaded, so I should be more precise. ROT members are nuts like the Lilliputians in Gulliver's Travels were nuts. They don't drool or wear their shirts backward, but they do expend insane amounts of energy on ridiculous "politics," dissipating most of it through meaningless infighting and petty posturing. Are they evil, hateful nuts? No. I kind of liked most of them. They would be fun people to go fishing with. Unfortunately, they have this other hobby: seceding from the union. And, being Texans, they have enough guns and ammo to potentially make matters not so cute. Most non-McLarian ROT members publicly disavow violence, but the possibility always lurks. Groups like the Republic of Texas exist in a murky gray zone where relatively harmless right-wing bigmouths meet the frightening shriekers of renegade militias, raising the question: At what point does nutty end and scary begin? You can never tell, but Richard Keyes III is a good example of how quickly A can become Z. Keyes is the 21-year-old McLaren follower who actually carried out the kidnapping and shooting that started the whole Fort Davis mess. He's originally from Kansas--so, to find out more about him, I called a county police detective there who tracks the far right. He'd heard of him only once, in a nutty-but-funny context. Keyes filed papers earlier this year demanding that Kansas return portions of the state to the rightful ownership of the Republic of Texas. Tee-hee. Next thing you know, however, he emerged as a serious shoot-'em-up guy. As for the meeting, it was simply funny-nutty, but it became all too clear that the republic's separatist fantasies will live on. A few hundred boisterous Texans--mostly men, middle-aged or above, with a fair number of angry young rednecks and dotty old women--filled the cramped banquet room of a run-down motor lodge in "downtown" Kilgore. Crowding one side of a long dais were frowning representatives of the two non-McLarian Republics of Texas. One is headed by David Johnson of Odessa, Texas. He didn't show up, but some of his "council" members did--they were gray, natty, and grumpy, like Baptist deacons. The other faction is under the sway of Archie Lowe, a long-haired guy who looks like an amiable Harley rider and whose followers are a tiny bit more young and with-it. The Archies' current agenda includes a quest for "international recognition" and the convening of a "Constitutional Convention" this July. The meeting itself was extremely hard to follow. After generic introblab, the floor was opened to "the people," a platoon of Brave New World Epsilons who lined up behind a floor microphone and took turns huffing and ranting. Among the highlights: A very pale young man stood up and said that Judgment Day was coming unless the Republic of Texas succeeded. Then he started crying. A stocky guy in a red shirt and a Republic of Texas cap stood and dramatically announced that he was the driver of one of the two vehicles detained by authorities in Pecos. It was all a gross injustice, of course. Yes, he and four ROT colleagues were traveling with full packs, semiautomatic weapons, pistols, radios, and plenty of ammo, but he said they were merely going to Kermit, Texas, to "hunt wild hogs." But Pecos is not on the way if you're going to Kermit from Garland. I asked him later: Why was he there? "I was curious about what was going on," he said. "On a personal level." A gap-toothed old woman yelped that the federal government is "getting boxcars prepared with some kind of leg irons in 'em to fasten you into place to ship you to concentration camps." OK, perhaps quoting the old woman is a cheap shot. Then again, I heard similar effusions from a high official--Jim Warmke, a wiry, sun-burnished old guy in a mustard-colored Western suit who serves as "secretary of commerce and trade" for the Branch McLarian remnant. I liked Jim, and I just hope his nuttiness stays "funny," but I have to wonder. When we met he extended a huge sandpapery hand and said: "Howdy! Jim Warmke. W-A-R-M-K-E. Hot lock, warm key." We talked about McLaren--"The man is a genius; he has a 160 IQ"--and I raised the question of violence. Given that the federal government and the state are always and forever going to kick ass in U.S. vs. Republic confrontations, when would a patriot like Jim feel justified in picking up a gun and charging? And with such overwhelming odds, why would he do that? "You'll not know how close some came," he said eerily. "I can tell you that the militias have but one methodology in mind. They do not intend to assemble 10-, 20-, 50,000 armed men in one spot and allow napalm to destroy them! There is a tactic called 'targets of availability.' What that means is ... Your interpretation would be terrorism. There is no one that can control that. There is no government could control that." Bomb talk! Did he hear about specific targeted sites? "I have suspicions, but I'll not answer that based on suspicions." After Jim left, two Archie-faction ROT men scurried over and nervously assured me that Jim was a kook. Great. Why didn't I feel reassured? The Joke Stops Here Monday, I finally visited Fort Davis on the way back to El Paso, just to get a feel for the place. Things sounded quite sparky on the radio. Early that morning, reports said that someone fired at the bloodhounds, and that lawmen were closing in. I arrived about 2 p.m. and roosted for a while by the police roadblock at the entrance to the Davis Mountain Resort subdivision. In the distance rose the stark, rocky, mesquite-covered peaks that define this area. A couple of dozen sunburned, siege-weary reporters were hanging around in cars, and one explained that the resort itself was miles and miles away. Whatever was happening, we wouldn't be able to see it or hear it. I took off and stopped for gas in the nearby town of Valentine. Inside I met an old codger named Clifford Beare, who had recently retired from the Jeff Davis County sheriff's department. I asked him if it would be hard for runaways to hide in treeless mountains. "Well, I guess, but you could hide. There's a lot of caves and stuff." Did he think these guys would get caught? "I think they will," he said. "Yes I do." He was half right. About that time one fugitive, believed to be Mike Matson, was getting shot to death in a gun battle. The other, Keyes, appears to have got away, and Tuesday, the authorities scaled back the search for him, making vague noises about the terrain and wild animals finishing him off. "He can ... only have a finite amount of food and water," said Mike Cox, who has been the state's spokesman throughout the siege. What? Of all these people, Keyes is the only survivor who demands to be taken seriously. He started the violence; he never gave up; and he went out ready to blast away and die. They better hope something gets him, because if he does stagger out of those mountains alive, he's going to be biblically, nuttily, and unfunnily pissed. Anonymous Gifts From Individuals, 1997 1. $30 million to the UNIVERSITY OF ST. THOMAS (Minn.) for the Graduate School of Business from a Minneapolis/St. Paul-area family. The gift is believed to be the largest ever given to a college or university in Minnesota. The family boosted an earlier $10-million pledge, "because it feels strongly that there never has been a greater need for management education based on values and ethics." The gift will allow the school to endow as many as 10 new professorships and to create a $2-million scholarship fund that will assist minorities and students attending a Spirituality of Management seminar at the university. 2. $27.4 million to the HOSPITAL SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS FOUNDATION (Springfield, Ill.) to help pay for the new Women and Children's Center at St. John's Hospital. The gift was from a donor who wished to remain anonymous, said Sister Bernadine Gutowski, spiritual leader of the Hospital Sisters of the Third Order of St. Francis in the United States. "The donor required us to sign an agreement on the part of the hospital to keep the donor's identity anonymous," she said. "But it's fair to say the money came from someone who identified with our values and mission." 3. $25 million to the UNIVERSITY OF TEXAS Southwestern Medical Center from an anonymous couple as a dollar-for-dollar challenge to endow a $50-million scholars program in medical research. 3. $25 million to MISSISSIPPI COLLEGE in Clinton for the "New Dawn" capital campaign. The gift is unrestricted but must be matched by other donors over the next three to five years. 5. $15 million to STEWARD SCHOOL (Henrico County, Va.) "Christmas in September," said Jennifer Sgro, who works in the school's development office. Whoever the donors may be, they have ushered in a new era at the small school, said H. Gerald Quigg, a fund-raising consultant to the school. The donors attached only three stipulations to the gift. First: The school must stick to its goal of providing a high-quality preparatory education. Second: One-third of the gift is to be earmarked for a fine-arts center to be named in honor of Paul R. Cramer, the school's headmaster for 19 years who retired in 1994. Last: One-third must be used for the school's endowment. 6. $10 million to MARQUETTE UNIVERSITY (Milwaukee) from an alumnus and his family for a new library that will be named after Father John Raynor, the university president who died in November 1997. The amount was proffered as a challenge gift, and the donor has required the university to seek additional donations to match the original figure. The gift is among the largest ever received by Marquette. 6. $10 million to CENTENARY COLLEGE (Shreveport, La.), for unrestricted use. The college's trustees have voted to designate the gift as a dollar-for-dollar matching fund to invite additional donations to the capital campaign. "Thus we intend to transform this $10 million into at least $20 million," Centenary College President Kenneth L. Schwab said. 6. $10 million in cash to MARY BALDWIN COLLEGE (Staunton, Va.) This is the largest cash gift received by Mary Baldwin and among the largest given to a women's college. This gift is unusual not only in its size but also in its purpose, which is to fund several one-time projects. Founded in 1842, Mary Baldwin is the oldest women's college affiliated with the Presbyterian Church of the United States. 6. $10 million to MARS HILL COLLEGE (N.C.) for development of a school of business and community science. The pledge is the largest single gift in the college's history. The donors, one of whom has long-standing ties to Mars Hill, based their decision to make the pledge primarily on the quality of leadership now at the college. "We are deeply humbled by the generosity of these wonderful people," said Chancellor Max Lennon. Is Clinton a Sex Addict? Bill Clinton, our most adept practitioner of therapeutic politics, has always flirted with dysfunction. Six years ago, during his first successful presidential campaign, he discussed his dysfunctional family history during a televised interview. He acknowledged that growing up with an alcoholic parent may have made him particularly eager to please and placate. Veterans of the recovery movement, which remained popular in the early 1990s, would have instantly recognized Clinton as an ACOA (adult child of an alcoholic). Considering his abusive, alcoholic stepfather, his substance abusing brother, his mother's penchant for gambling, and his own compulsive eating and alleged womanizing, Clinton's family looked like a case study in a codependency book. Whether you saw this as a weakness or a strength depended on your relationship with the therapeutic culture. "Real men don't get on the couch," a spokesperson for President Bush told the New York Times , standing up for the American tradition of rugged individualism. But for the millions of Americans who considered themselves survivors of dysfunction and abuse and believed fervently in the healing power of the couch or their support groups, Clinton's implied awareness of his "feeling reality" was much more appealing than any display of machismo. Being "in recovery" is no weakness to people who consider being "in denial" the only alternative. Besides, Clinton never actually presented himself as truly dysfunctional. (Who would elect a dysfunctional president?) Instead, his moments of apparent introspection humanized him and made him seem approachable. They helped him politically just as Princess Diana's bouts of bulimia helped transform her into "the people's princess." Clinton's desire to please was a classic symptom of codependency, but those who recognized it as such probably felt closer to him when he acknowledged it. People who were not conversant in the language of recovery might see in his desire to please a talent for compromise--an essential political art. As a candidate, Clinton deftly balanced hints of codependency with the image of a leader in control of policy and the political process. If he could not always control his appetites--for cheeseburgers and doughnuts--he was someone voters could identify with. But his unmistakable intelligence, his ability to master the details of complicated policy matters, and his skills at communicating made him someone voters could also admire. The most powerful charismatics are those who simultaneously invite identification and awe. (And even Clinton's opponents are awestruck by his seduction and survival skills.) Charismatic personalities combine transcendent beauty, glamour, or talent with accessibility, providing a way in for people eager to identify with a higher being. They seem both ineffable and utterly familiar. But this delicate balance of minor, private, victimless dysfunction and the ability to master public issues and events has been endangered by the current scandals. Clinton's image as a "caring" leader, one who will help us heal, has been badly damaged by Kathleen Willey's story, which has put his very membership in the therapeutic culture at risk. The president who ran on a platform of compassion allegedly acted cruelly to someone who came to him in need of it. If Willey's story is true, he didn't feel her pain. He used it. People steeped in popular therapies seek explanations. "Is the president a sex addict?" some wondered when the Lewinsky story broke. In the aftermath of Willey's 60 Minutes interview, the conversation has revived. According to Time , Clinton's old friend and reputed former lover Dolly Kyle Browning claims that, in 1987, she confronted him with her suspicions that he was a sex addict, "just like her." According to Browning, Time reports, the president broke down and cried. Whether or not this sensational story is true, it suggests Clinton is in danger of being defeated by the therapeutic culture that helped get him elected. The recovery movement gave us the concept of sex addiction, which is a form of codependency. In the 1980s, the movement popularized the notion that behaviors could be as addictive as substances such as cocaine or alcohol, and it founded 12-step programs for compulsive shoppers, gamblers, sexaholics, and so on. Recovery enthusiasts would probably be sympathetic to a sex-addicted president, but might be unlikely to support him until he agreed to get help--which is hard to imagine. To people who are most familiar with the term and most likely to take it seriously, if Clinton is a sex addict, he is clearly not in recovery. Therefore he is in denial. To recovery aficionados, that probably means he is not sufficiently evolved, spiritually or psychically, to lead the nation. They would not expect the president to be devoid of dysfunction, but would expect him to have recognized and vanquished his own abusive behaviors. To support him would be to support his denials, thereby making them "enablers." There is some symmetry in the diagnosis of Clinton, our therapeutic president, as patient in addition to healer. The personal development tradition greatly values the presumed authority of experience, and codependency experts--leaders such as John Bradshaw--routinely confessed their own struggles with various addictions in order to bolster their credibility. But they marketed themselves as people who had been through the "process" of recovery, surrendered their will to their higher powers, and freed themselves of addictive behaviors. From this perspective, Clinton has yet to get with the program. For people who are not immersed in recovery but are receptive to the notion of sex addiction, the president's dysfunction simply means that, like Ken Starr, he is "out of control." Nobody wants an out of control president. Meanwhile, people hostile to popular notions of addiction will dismiss the characterization of Clinton as a sex addict as an evasion of personal responsibility. (And, indeed, some of his supporters may prefer seeing him as the victim of a disease rather than as an intentional sexual predator.) But let's get clinical: Does the diagnosis of sex addiction make sense? Outside the world of pop psychology, it is likely to engender skepticism. The American Psychiatric Association does not formally recognize sex addiction as a mental disorder. Among experts who treat and study compulsive behaviors and chemical dependencies, there is controversy over the meaning of the term "addiction" and the efficacy of the disease model for a range of supposed addictions, from alcoholism to compulsive gambling. Even if sex addiction exists, and even if Clinton qualifies, he is unlikely to claim the banner. Politically, it's a loser. Or is it? It did work for Washington, D.C., Mayor Marion Barry, a self-professed sex addict who rehabilitated himself politically after a drug conviction by declaring his powerlessness over drugs and sex, repenting, and entering a program. "Most people are recovering from something," he explained to the Washington Post . Barry won back the mayor's office by embracing his own dysfunctions--but Washington is a dysfunctional city. Onward, Christian Clothiers The Christians are at it again. Southern Baptists explain how marriage ought to work and Cardinal O'Connor of New York, never shy about his inside line on which political candidates will be going to hell, wants no Major League Baseball games on Good Friday (or at least not between noon and 3 p.m.) and no Little Leaguers missing church for ball. Led by the likes of hymn-singing, tip-leaking truth-seeker Kenneth Starr and Second Amendment expert Charlton Heston, the country is in the midst of a renaissance of rectitude. This time, though, faith is not enough for the really, really faithful. They wear their devotion on their shirts now, also on their baseball caps and their lapels. Piety is a commodity for these truest of true believers, touted with a zeal that would make the most aggressive huckster blush. You've probably seen the initials "WWJD?" around. I first encountered them while browsing with my family in the Okefenokee Swamp Park gift shop. I was unpleasantly surprised to find little woven bracelets bearing the letters, which stand for What Would Jesus Do?, for sale along with the gator mugs and kudzu T-shirts. When we got home, I sent off a snappy e-mail to the authorities about the separation of church and state park. A week or so later, I got an inconclusive reply, which addressed me as Mr. Ringold, a suspiciously Wagnerian misspelling of my Jewish name. By then, I realized that this stuff really gave me the willies. Sales of "Christ-honoring product," as Christian Booksellers Association President Bill Anderson calls the bumper stickers, key rings, coffee mugs, and clothing now linked to Jesus, have grown from $1 billion in 1980 to $4 billion in 1996. The big winner is anything with WWJD? on it. According to Newsweek , 15 million of those logoed bracelets were sold in 1997. But there's lots more than just bracelets: DeColores Designs offers "fine apparel for witnessing," while Cross Wear "rages with an attitude." (I'm not sure what it means, but it doesn't have the same ring as "love thy neighbor.") The grimmer, punkier side of the phenomenon features death's heads, stigmata, and creepy apocalyptic texts. A T-shirt with a silk-screened design of skulls, surrounded by the words "Eat my flesh, drink my blood--Cannibals for Christ" would look right at home in a head shop, glowing beneath the black light. And for that devout motorcycle thug on your Christmas list, there's a black T-shirt with a skull and crossbones captioned "2 nd death" on the front and, on the back, a spiky, harsh drawing of the Crucifixion, captioned "It's hell without Jesus." Now, I'm a dyed-in-the-wool, freedom o'speech kind of guy, and it takes more than visceral disagreement to make me want a particular point of view erased from the face of the earth, or at least legally required to keep away from me. So why does a "Fishers of Men" baseball hat make me want to spit bile? Two reasons: 1 Aesthetics . Christian sportswear bears the same relation to piety that Tommy Hilfiger clothing does to good taste: It's a cheesy, commercialized imitation of the real thing. For a bracing look at hypocrisy in cyberspace, take a look at the claims these schmatte peddlers make on their Web sites: XP Apparel "helps people of all ages meet Christ's challenge by providing clothing that helps them share their faith." Spiritual Wear hopes "to provide a means for individuals, churches and organizations to express their religious convictions." Actually, they go beyond mere self-expression. "With our products we strive to provide the Christian community with wearable messages that motivate people [to] consider their own religious convictions." What Would Jesus Do?, a company that moves "WWJD?" coffee cups, sweatshirts, and watches, offers this warranty: "Rest assured that when you purchase our WWJD? products you are supporting a Christian Ministry led by the hand of God." Excuse me, but WWJD? is not a Christian ministry, it's a business, selling its products by claiming God is on its side. You don't have to be religious to be nauseated by entrepreneurs professing sanctity for their products. Incidentally, while all the Christ-honoring retailing sites I examined claimed to donate a portion of profits to charity, none are charitable organizations. Haven't these jokers heard about not taking the Lord's name in vain? This is advertising presented as evangelism, and that brings me to the second reason why Christian sportswear is bad for the republic: 2 The Spiritual Thing . Candidate Jack Kennedy reassured the nation, skittish about a Catholic in the White House, when he stated, "I believe in an America where the separation of church and state is absolute." Time flies. Now representatives of both realms mix, mingle, and meddle in each other's business at will. While we are used to secular types such as Trent Lott weighing in with their views on sin, it's harder to swallow when the folks at WWJD? tell us that wearing their duds is a virtue. When spirituality becomes a selling point, like mother-of-pearl buttons, then religion has entered the realm to which it's supposed to provide a detached alternative. It's not religion anymore, it's commerce. Blurring the line between church and state isn't always a business strategy; it serves other forms of self-interest too. Lott's comments on homosexuality surely have more to do with how they play in Mississippi than with his innermost convictions. O'Connor's desire for a baseball-free Good Friday, on the other hand, is surely heartfelt. But his opinion is not God's law, as a great many angry Little League parents were quick to remind him. Why doesn't O'Connor address his pronouncements to his flock instead of the world at large and suggest Catholic ballplayers sit out Good Friday? There have been observant players even in the majors, most notably the great Sandy Koufax, who declined to play on Yom Kippur. He did not, however, suggest that everybody follow his example. He knew where to draw the line. It's a line the Christian sportswear industry does its best to fudge, boasting that its wares are expressions of faith, when they are in fact crass, occasionally intimidating assertions of spiritual superiority. What would Jesus do if he encountered the schlock that is marketed in his name? He chased the money-lenders out of the Temple, didn't he? Nuttiness [Editor's note: The first two articles listed here are factual and correctly quoted. The others are not.] Sept. 3, 1998 Washington Post Headline: "Airlines May Have to Bag the Peanuts" The Transportation Department has informed airlines that under new disability rules, it must provide "peanut-free buffer zones"--defined as at least three rows--for any passenger who declares in advance a medically documented severe allergy to peanuts. Sept. 23, 1998 New York Times Headline: "Growing Number of Schools Ban Peanut Butter as Allergy Threat" Prodded by parents warning of lethal allergies, by the contentions of some researchers that peanut allergies are on the rise and, not least, by a fear of litigation, growing numbers of public and private schools across the country, including many of New York City's most selective independent schools, have banned peanut butter from their cafeterias. Others have declared peanut-free zones or set up committees to figure out what to do. Oct. 10, 1998 Washington Post Headline: "Congress Declares Capitol Peanut-Free Zone" Citing complaints by allergy-prone legislators and aides, Congress today banned peanuts and peanut products from the U.S. Capitol and adjacent federal buildings. The bipartisan resolution passed the House on a vote of 429-3 and was approved by voice vote in the Senate. U.S. Capitol police distributed epinephrine syringes throughout the building to protect members of Congress and their staffs against peanut allergy symptoms such as throat constriction and rapid loss of blood pressure. Oct. 15, 1998 Los Angeles Times Headline: "Chinese Restaurants Declare Peanut Sauce 'Peanut-Free' " Prompted by widespread concern over peanut-related health risks, the Chinese Restaurant Association of America banned peanuts and peanut oil from all "peanut sauce" served in accredited Chinese restaurants. Restaurants may continue to serve "peanut sauce" in dishes such as Kung Pao Chicken, but that sauce may no longer contain actual peanuts. Restaurant owners who had opposed the ban agreed to support it and to accept random enforcement inspections in exchange for the right to retain the phrase "peanut sauce" in carryout menus. Oct. 18, 1998 New York Times Headline: "Peanuts Killed Our Children" Support groups have sprouted up across America for those whose lives have been shattered by peanuts and peanut-based foods. "This is a place for families to come together and share their grief," said Douglas French, founder of PNUTTS (People Newly United Through Their Peanut-Related Stress). "Peanuts stole away their sons and daughters, their mothers and fathers. These people never had a voice. ... Now they can tell their stories without shame or ridicule." Oct. 20, 1998 Boston Globe Editorial Page Headline: "The Peanut Menace" Gone are the days of innocently cracking salted shells at the ballpark or spreading a thick "p.b.&j." at a family picnic. Civic leaders have at last confronted the truth: Peanuts are a menace to the American way of life. Congress should move immediately to prohibit the cultivation, sale, and use of peanuts and their byproducts. Oct. 23, 1998 Washington Post Headline: "GOP Declares 'War on Peanuts' " Republican congressional leaders today outlined a plan to eradicate American peanut abuse by the end of the century. Responding to a proposal backed by House Democrats, under which government-funded clinics would distribute cashews to peanut abusers on a transitional basis, Republican leaders in both houses demanded an aggressive interdiction program to "fight peanuts at their source." Preliminary plans drafted by Senate aides involve napalm strikes in Georgia and South Carolina by U.S. Army special forces. "These peanut-growing bandits are going to face the hellfire of their darkest, peanut-fueled nightmares," declared Sen. Jesse Helms, R-N.C. Oct. 24, 1998 New York Times Headline: "In Shift, President Vests Powers in 'Czar' " Senior administration officials said last night that the White House will appoint a "Peanut Czar" to oversee the president's campaign against peanut production and consumption. Aides commended the decision and cited progress on several fronts. In recent days, the long-running syndicated comic strip Peanuts has been pulled from hundreds of newspapers, famed peanut advocate George Washington Carver has been demoted from "historic figure" to "anti-American hatemonger," and the former president and peanut farmer Jimmy Carter has been stripped of his American citizenship. Said a stoic Carter, "It was only a matter of time." No. 226: "It Depends" "This is quite controversial," said Kevin Sparkman of Pennsylvania. "Until now, we have always depended strictly on altruism." What is he talking about? by 5 p.m. ET Sunday to e-mail your answer to newsquiz@slate.com . Wednesday's Question--(No. 225) "Love Hurts": On Tuesday, in Texas, after a public display of affection, one of them playfully grabbed the other by the wrist and shouted, "Run! Run!" What was going on? "Leper practical jokes."-- Dave Gaffen ( Greg Diamond had a similar answer.) "Gov. Bush got a playful French kiss from Anna Nicole Smith at the annual World's Biggest Boob Relay Race at the Texas State Fair."-- Brooke Saucier "Jesse Jackson, looking in the mirror, decides the country needs him ... again."-- Christopher Clark "Sounds like another one of Darryl Strawberry's romantic liaisons about to be called foul by the vice squad."-- Peter Carlin "Lyndon Johnson and Lee Harvey Oswald, trying not to be seen together. The Tuesday was in mid-November 1963."-- Tim Carvell Click for more answers. Daniel's Wrap-Up Even when Forrest Sawyer is sitting in, it's still World News Tonight With Peter Jennings . Just because Johnny goes on vacation, The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson doesn't suddenly become The Tonight Show With Jay Leno . The task of a guest host is delicate. He has to be familiar (and competent) enough to keep viewers satisfied, but also distinct (and flawed) enough that when the star returns, everyone remembers exactly why they love him so. Similarly, when two men hold hands in Texas, all our suspicions are confirmed. OK, that's not the least bit similar. These segues are harder than they look from where you're sitting. Was It Good for You Too Answer Rudolph Giuliani and George W. Bush were simpering and giggling for the press after their 90-minute meeting at the governor's mansion in Austin, Texas. It was a love fest. "He is one of the real hopes that the Republican Party has of regaining control of the United States," said the mayor in his characteristic military style. "He's a good tough campaigner," the governor reciprocated manfully. "I think I might have eaten a bad clam," said someone, perhaps me. Neither man would formally endorse the other, but when a reporter asked the mayor if he'd specifically urged the governor to run, Bush contorted his arm behind his back and said, "He twisted my ..." Well, you know what he said. Then Giuliani displayed his usual flair for playful repartee with the run, run business. (Answer composed pre-departure by Randy Cohen.) Military Intelligence Extra 1. According to NATO Secretary-General Javier Solana, "Milosevic is losing, and ..." a) He knows he is losing. b) He doesn't know he is losing. c) I can fly! 2. Which explanation did NATO spokesman David Wilby give for the attack that killed 10 civilians in a residential area of Pristina last week? a) "One bomb appeared to be seduced off target at the final stages." b) "Relax, it's not like we hit a convoy of refugees or anything." c) "Kill 'em all, let God sort 'em out." 3. Explaining why he went to Belgrade, Dan Rather said, "On some days, in some ways ..." a) I miss Afghanistan. b) Tom Brokaw can kiss my ass. c) Danger is my business. 4. Which was not said by a college student at a Kosovo teach-in? a) "I'm very against genocide." b) "This Milosevic guy is Serbian, right?" c) "Forget ground troops, let's send in Buffy." 5. A party for NATO's 50 th anniversary will still go ahead as scheduled, but administration officials acknowledged that they would have to "adjust the tone" to make it, in the words of the National Security Council's Don Blander: a) Less "triumphalist," more "serious and sober." b) Less "imperialist," more "pathetic." c) Less "Greek, Hungarian, Italian, and French," more "British and American." Answers 1-a. Solana was also asked what would constitute a "permissive environment" for NATO troops. "Why don't you help me a little," he replied, "and not ask me to define the word 'permissive.' " He was not asked to define "losing" either. 2-a. A little candlelight and a bottle of Aliz, and that ordnance just can't control itself. 3-c. "I get $19,178 a day plus expenses," he could have added, but didn't. 4-c. At least, that's the only one the New York Times reporter didn't overhear. 5-a. Meanwhile, a NATO postage stamp illustrated with a dove of peace has been "rescheduled for a later date," the postal service said. "They're replacing the dove with an Apache helicopter, so it'll take at least a month before it arrives," the postal service did not add. Common Denominator Texas-sized homoeroticism. Please send your questions for publication to prudence@slate.com. Dear Prudence, Please settle an ongoing dispute between my husband and me. My husband believes it is OK to floss his teeth while driving his car. (I am not making this up.) His teeth are very nice, but I believe this activity should be restricted to the privacy of the bathroom only. He does not see a problem doing this in public. Please respond. Sincerely, --Mrs. Floss Dear Mrs., Prudie hesitates to ask what he is steering the car with. Flossing is not a one-handed maneuver. You are correct that it is not an activity meant for public viewing but, more important, seeing to one's dental hygiene while driving a car poses a threat to oneself, as well as to others. Do tell Mr. Floss that Prudie implores him to find four minutes to do his admirable oral upkeep when he is outside of his automobile. --Prudie, nervously Dear Prudie, I usually agree with your advice 100 percent, but there were two cases where I'd have suggested something different. I wonder if we actually disagree, or if my solutions just didn't occur to you. For the woman put off by her old , I agree that the best solution would be for the roommate to change her ways, but leveling with her would more than likely end the friendship. It sounds as if things are just fine as long as your correspondent doesn't have to visit her friend's house. So, why not just develop a convenient "cat allergy"? The white lie is a time-honored solution for situations like this. And for "," the person who wants to keep weight off but can't control what's served at dinner parties, it's only good manners to eat what your host serves you--with gusto and gratitude. You can fast the next day. (Well, OK, one bowl of Special-K with skim milk.) Just a thought or, rather, two. --I'm a Southerner and Manners Are Our Thing Dear I'm, Thank you for being a Prudie. White lies are, indeed, meant for situations like this, but in the case of "Nauseously Yours," there is the chance that straight shooting would be of real help to the roommate living in filth. As for scarfing down whatever party fare is offered, Prudie will split the difference with you. Granted, one can't get into terrible trouble with an indulgence now and then, assuming one is eating conscientiously, but to inhale a whole meal of rich food is counterproductive. Let's say that when at a dinner party where the sky's the limit--calorie-wise--it is permissible to treat oneself to something particularly wonderful ... which of course would involve small tastes of everything, wouldn't it? --Prudie, moderately Dear Prudence, I'd like to rely on your unwavering good taste and style to answer a fashion question. Does the rule of no white clothing before Memorial Day and after Labor Day still apply? I learned at a very young age that dressing in white clothing before Memorial Day or after Labor Day was inappropriate. Are the standards still alive, or are we living under the rule of the "casual Friday" ilk that has pervaded the standards of dress? --Waiting on Hat Pins and Darning Needles for Your Reply Dear Wait, Prudie supposes that the calendar's rules regarding white are still operative for the old guard. Even for them, however, fashion has weighed in with a wild card: winter white. To be perfectly candid with you though, Prudie's own style sense veers toward the more individual: Wear what is flattering and what you like. (This is why no one has seen Prudie's knees in eons.) --Prudie, sartorially Dear Prudence, Whatever happened to courtesy? When I am out and about, whether getting food or shopping for other goods, I seem to encounter clerks who equate "There you go" with "Thank you." I can't tell you how many times I have heard "There you go" as I am handed my change, or my bag, with no thanks given. "There you go" seems to imply "Get the hell out," whereas a thank-you is an appreciation of my helping to keep the staff employed. I am not some crotchety old fool. I have worked retail for several years myself, and I say, "Thank you" because I realize that if I do not act appreciatively, the customer may well go on down the road! Thank you for you time. --Courteous Carol Dear Court, My dear, with all due respect, Prudie thinks you have the wrong take on this. Actually, Prudie finds "There you go" to be a rather chipper bon voyage at the end of one's transaction. Have you noticed how certain phrases seem to take hold? Like "Have a nice day" (which Prudie happens to loathe). "There you go" is simply one more evolution of our spoken language ... perhaps meant to refresh commonly said things. You are correct, of course, that a thank-you is always appropriate, but that does not mean a substitute phrase is improper. Prudie, frankly, cannot fathom how you've decided that "There you go" is code for "Get the hell out." All you can do, really, is not go there, yourself, when speaking. --Prudie, linguistically A Klutz at the Ballet After 50 years of writing about the budget, I have become bored with the subject, and have been looking for a more emotionally satisfying interest. It may seem bizarre, but I have found one such interest in watching ballet at home on my VCR. I call that bizarre because I cannot dance a step. One of my most anguished memories is of trying to propel an unfortunate female classmate around the floor at the Mohawk Country Club during the senior prom of Schenectady High School. I did not improve much with time, although I did find a more agreeable partner. Despite that, or perhaps because of that--psychologists always have two options--I have long been fascinated by dance. In college I participated in an essay contest that required entrants to use a nom de plume. I chose "Bojangles," the nickname of Bill Robinson, the famous movie and stage tap dancer. I mention that partly to show that my interest did not always and only lie in long-legged girls in tutus. Ifirst became aware of ballet at the University of Chicago. One of my first dates with the young woman who was to be my wife took us to Les Sylphides downtown in the Loop. For 60 years thereafter, the ballet remained an occasional diversion. Only recently, when--as I have noted--boredom with the budget and, indeed, with economic policy in general left a vacuum at the forefront of my consciousness, did ballet come in to fill it. I am by no stretch of the imagination an expert. I am writing only to indicate what pleasure the ballet, now readily available on videotape, has given this klutz, and to suggest that others like me might also get pleasure from it. Ballet may have special appeal these days, because it is a relief from the verbal communication in which we are all drowning. It is like music in that respect. Music may have a more transcendental, spiritual quality. But ballet has more --of scene, of form, and of movement; for many people, ballet offers more by way of food for the mind than music does. I am going to focus first on Swan Lake . It is the most popular ballet of all time and probably the easiest to appreciate. Also, I happen to have on tape two versions of Swan Lake , one featuring Margot Fonteyn and Rudolf Nureyev (1966) and one with the Kirov Ballet (1986). Both versions are characterized by a complete fusion of the music and the dance. The music is simple, clear, tuneful, and rhythmic. It seems to compel the dance, as if the particular steps danced to each note and bar were inevitable and any other steps would be wrong. Listening, one gets--or, at least, I get--the (improbable) feeling that the music is so compelling that if I were on stage and heard it, I, too, would do that dance. Yet, as natural and inevitable as it seems, the dance is also absolutely incredible. It is unbelievable that anyone could do what those dancers are doing. That applies not only to the obviously spectacular leaps and spins, but also to the precise placement of the feet when walking slowly, and of the body when seated. Everyone knows the story of Swan Lake . It was summed up in the comment of a little old lady (why is it always a little old lady and never a big young man?) who, after seeing it, said: "So, he fell in love with a duck. So what could come of it?" To amplify just a little: Odette is a beautiful maiden trapped in the body of a swan. She can be freed only by someone who will love her forever. Prince Siegfried promises her that love, but he is seduced into betraying that promise by the beautiful, but not so nice, Odile. Dire consequences loom. The two versions I have differed in the degree to which they emphasized the story. The Kirov version (at least the one I saw) was a vaudeville in which discrete, and stunning, dance performances are hung on the thread of the story. It was staged before a live audience that repeatedly broke into applause to which the stars responded with bows. That, of course, interrupted the story. It also took the stars out of their characters--Siegfried out of his soul-sickness, Odette out of her heartbreak, and Odile out of her seductiveness. Moreover the principals, while their dancing was brilliant, hadn't really tried to be soul-sickened, heartbroken, or seductive. The problem was particularly serious for Siegfried, who in the first act seemed a happy-go-lucky fellow, with no apparent reason to spurn the beautiful women of the court and go out hunting a mirage. The Fonteyn-Nureyev version, on the other hand, emphasized the story, with all its . The show slimmed the story down considerably, with some of the most spectacular parts being cut. There was no audience, no applause, no interruptions, no bows in the middle of the story. Nureyev, who was 28 at the time, looked the anguished, searching youth that the story requires. Fonteyn portrayed clearly in her facial expressions and arm movements the contrasting characters of Odette and Odile. Both versions are wonderful. In a sense, you get more ballet for your money in the Kirov version. But you get more emotion in the Fonteyn-Nureyev version. My recent interest in ballet has opened my eyes to a newer style that I used to find unattractive and incomprehensible. It is less athletic and acrobatic than the older, more romantic ballets. What there is in the way of stylized leaps, spins, and balancing on the toes comes out as the natural expression of exceptionally graceful human beings and not as a demonstration of what some clever windup toys can do. The main reaction to the older ballets is, "Wow! How can anyone do that?" The newer ballets do not elicit that response. At first sight they look easy, although further observation shows how precise and disciplined the movements are. The newer ballets aim for more universal and fundamental emotions than amazement--for a sense of beauty, or joy, or love, or sorrow. How those emotions are generated I cannot explain. But I can give two illustrations, both from ballets by George Balanchine that I have on tape. The Prodigal Son is an old story. But the performance, by Mikhail Baryshnikov and others, is so vigorous and stark that it seems new. And at the end, when Baryshnikov throws himself into the arms of his father, who wraps him in his prayer shawl, one gets a powerful sense of the goodness of man and God. The other example is Chaconne , starring Suzanne Farrell and Peter Martins. If there is a story there, I don't get it. However, the dancing seems so free and spontaneous, and yet so precise and with such commitment between the partners, that one is left with a feeling of joy in life that I cannot associate with any other form of art. I realize I am gushing. That is the way new and naive enthusiasts are. I also realize that ballet may not be everyone's cup of tea. But if you are sick of watching Clinton and Gingrich waltz around, you might try Fonteyn and Nureyev, or Farrell and Martins. The Second-Best Sauce "There's no sauce in the world like hunger." You may think that your grandmother made that up, but actually it was Cervantes in Don Quixote , about 400 years ago. Neither I nor any of my friends are ever hungry except for a few hours on Yom Kippur, so I am unable to test Cervantes' proposition. I will concede it to him, however. I want to talk about the second-best sauce, which is "belonging." Food tastes enormously better when it is eaten in a place where you are accepted as a special person, special for something other than the color of your credit card. Iwas struck by this proposition about a month ago when I spent some time with my son in Los Angeles. In the space of two days, we ate four meals--lunch and dinner and then lunch and dinner again--in the same restaurant. My son thought the food was great; I thought it was only pretty good. He seemed disappointed that I did not share his appreciation of the food. A little later I realized what the problem was. The restaurant was a gathering place for people in "the business," meaning the Hollywood movie-and-TV business. My son was one of them. When he came into the restaurant, people slapped him on the back and said, "Great show, Ben!" And he slapped someone else on the back and said, "Great show, Tom!" (or whoever). This was his club, and that made the food taste great. But it was not my club. I can see many other examples of this in my eating history. The most obvious is the White House Mess. To eat there one had to be either a fairly high-ranking official of the administration or the guest of such a person. That is, eating there gave one a strong sense of special privilege. (When I was there we hadn't yet learned that access to the privileges of the White House could be sold for cash.) And this sense of belonging made the food taste great. But the cooks there were not graduates of the Cordon Bleu. The pices de rsistance were the cheeseburger, the hot fudge sundae, and the Tex-Mex food on Thursdays. Objectively speaking, one could get better food at any of six restaurants within two blocks of the White House. But the judgment of the food in the White House Mess was not an objective judgment. One doesn't have to eat in "high-class" surroundings to get this delicious feeling of belonging. For some time after we were married I used to tell my wife about the great meals prepared by Freddie the Cook. That referred to my college days. I had been the dishwasher at a fraternity house. The waiters were all members of the fraternity and ate the same meals in the same dining room as the other members. But I was not a member, so I ate in the kitchen with the other kitchen help who were not students and who were all "colored," as we used to say. We in the kitchen felt that we were getting the best of everything, better and fresher food than was served to the members upstairs. What it all was, I no longer remember, with one exception: For dessert I often had a quart brick of vanilla ice cream bathed in the wonderful syrup extracted from the sugar maples around Williamstown, Mass. But Freddie was really a mediocre cook. There was a time, probably now past, when medium-price restaurants would advertise themselves as serving "home cooking." They were trying to play upon the memory of home cooking as having been very good cooking. But the odds were against your mother having been a very good cook. It was mainly the feeling of having been part of the family that made the food there seem so good in retrospect. Good restaurants exploit this feeling. They know that you will enjoy the food more if the headwaiter greets you as "Mr. Jones" without having to look in his book when you come in. That is, if your name is Jones. Otherwise, to be called "Jones" spoils the meal. Ihave eaten in some three-star restaurants in my time--almost always on someone else's expense account. Only one of those meals was memorable. That was in a restaurant off the Champs lyses where I ordered in the belief that it was veal with rice. Quelle horreur! Surely there are exceptions to my general rule. There must be people with palates so fine that even blindfolded they could tell the difference between food from La Tour d'Argent and food from McDonald's. And there probably is some food so good that even I, eating it in a strange place, would recognize its merit. But, in general, my rule holds. If you are not hungry, eat where you belong! Shoot Hooligans, Not Hoops Littleton. Springfield. Paducah. Pearl. Jonesboro. Our once-safe schools have become slaughterhouses, our children sitting ducks for any pot-smoking, Marilyn Manson-listening, trench-coated deviant with a grievance. President Clinton and his Democrat allies will undoubtedly exploit the tragedy of Littleton to push for still more restrictions on the constitutional right to bear arms. Any day now, you should expect to hear Clinton and lackeys proposing to expand "gun-free school zones," the supposedly "safe" areas around schools where guns are banned. (Given recent history, perhaps they should be called "school-free gun zones.") It's time to recognize the naivet of such legislation, a foolishness that has turned our schools into killing grounds. National Rifle Association President Charlton Heston wisely declared this week that the presence of an armed guard might have saved the lives of Columbine High School students. And Gov. Jesse Ventura pointed out that the presence of "someone who was armed" could have "stabilized" the situation. As usual, Moses and the Body were on target, but they didn't go far enough. As it turns out, there was a security guard at Columbine, but a single, lightly armed person is not sufficient deterrence. American schools don't just need several armed security guards or even armed teachers. They need armed students. Immediately, before another student fires another shot, Congress should pass the Right To Carry Concealed Weapons in the Classroom Act of 1999. There is no disputing: When guns in the classroom are outlawed, only outlaws in the classroom have guns. President Clinton calls our gun-free schools "safe zones," but this is a perverted idea of safety: Law-abiding students are defenseless while predatory juvenile delinquents, armed to the teeth, are free to roam. Why do you think Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold chose Columbine High for murder? Because they knew their victims would be unarmed! But they would not have dared to invade that school had they known they would be confronted by well-trained, well-prepared, and well-armed classmates. Studies have proven that society is safer when law-abiding citizens carry concealed weapons. Our schools will be, too. Not every student has to carry a concealed weapon. It is, of course, a matter of personal choice. But any child who is willing--whether she's 18 or 15 or even 8--should be free to arm herself and walk the halls of her school without fear. If our teens and pre-teens are old enough to kill--and the schoolyard massacres have proved that--they're certainly old enough to defend themselves. Let's put classroom safety in the hands--and the holsters--of those who need it most. All in the Jeans Let me tell you a story about jeans. Actually, let me tell you a story about two companies that sell jeans. One of them, Levi Strauss, is about the best that American capitalism has to offer both in terms of ethical business practices and the way it treats its workers. The other, Guess Inc., is about the worst, notorious for its maltreatment of its workers and its ruthlessness in business. Now, if this were a story with an ending written by social democrats, Levi's would be rewarded and Guess would be punished. And if this story had an ending written by neoclassical economists, Guess would triumph and Levi's would pay the price for its attempt to evade market imperatives. What makes the story interesting, though, is that young consumers are writing it, and so it ends with two companies doing business in polar ways but arriving at exactly the same place: somewhere behind the curve. Levi's is the world's largest clothing manufacturer, doing $7 billion in sales every year. It is also one of the few privately held large companies left in the United States, thanks to a management-led leveraged buyout in 1985. Since the LBO, which followed a year in which the company saw its earnings drop by 97 percent, Levi's economic performance has been outstanding, thanks in no small part to the rebirth of the 501 Buttonfly and, unfortunately, the remarkable success of Dockers. A recent outside appraisal of the company placed its market value at somewhere near 105 times what it was in 1984, a growth rate analogous to that of companies like Microsoft and Oracle. In the past couple of years, though, Levi's has struggled. Overall sales have slowed, and its share of the men's jeans market has shrunk from 48 percent in 1990 to 26 percent in 1997. It would be great to see this decline as divine retribution for the invention of Dockers, but the answer has more to do with dramatic changes in the kinds of jeans kids buy and Levi's failure to adapt to those changes. At a time when kids influenced by hip-hop culture were buying jeans with legs as wide around as their waists, Levi's was still pushing its classic straight-leg look. And although it's now starting to push its baggy Silver Tab jeans hard, so-called private brands, marketed by department stores like J.C. Penney, are stealing the low end of the market while Ralph Lauren and his clones are eroding the high end. Levi's has become the dreaded "tweener," caught between the boomers and the echo-boomers. The results have not been pretty. A month ago, Levi's announced that it would be closing 11 of its plants and laying off one-third of its North American work force, an astounding step for a company renowned for what its CEO called "long-term brand building, corporate social responsibility, and community involvement." Levi's workers have always been well paid relative to the industry as a whole, and the company has kept 55 percent of its manufacturing work force in Canada and the United States. In 1993, the company implemented Japanese-style production techniques in its sewing plants, breaking apart routinized assembly and giving individual workers more responsibility. Even Levi's severance package is impressive. With each laid-off worker receiving eight months' pay plus one week for every year of service, and company-funded retraining to boot, one union observer called it "by far the best severance settlement apparel workers have ever gotten." Given all that, the easy way to understand what happened to Levi Strauss is to assume that its generosity caught up with it. If you employ unionized American workers instead of dollar-a-day Mexican workers, you will fail. But a look at its competition shows that Levi's main problem is not price cutting but image. Its largest competitor, VF, which makes Lee and Wrangler, charges only marginally less, and yet its market share has risen as Levi's has fallen. Retailers like Tommy Hilfiger and Ralph Lauren, whose jeans are not dramatically superior to Levi's in quality, are able to charge more simply because of their name. In the end, staying ahead of the style curve is both harder and more important than cutting costs. As evidence, one might want to look at Guess Inc., the jeans maker legendary for making Anna Nicole Smith a household name (well, in some households at least). Guess--there's a question mark at the end of the name, but typing it over and over is more annoying than you can imagine--was the hip jean of the 1980s, and it has spent most of this decade growing rapidly, both at home and abroad. Unlike Levi's, Guess has made its way in the world by subcontracting out production work, violating minimum-wage and maximum-hour laws, and suing everyone in sight. In the 1980s, for example, as part of a legal battle with Jordache, which at the time owned 50 percent of Guess, the Marciano brothers--who now own the company--set up a kickback scheme with contractors that ensured that money went to them and not to their partners. About the same time, they suborned an IRS agent into initiating criminal tax probes of Jordache's owners, probes that ended up going nowhere but were wonderful harassment devices. In 1992, Guess paid the Labor Department $573,000 in fines for those minimum-wage and overtime-pay violations, and things seemed to have quieted down a bit within the bulletproof-windowed, razor-wire-surrounded stone building that serves as the company's bunker ... I mean, headquarters. But in the past year and a half, Guess has seen its stock price cut in half, had the only outside member of its board of directors quit after being on the job for a few weeks, and watched its chief financial officer resign for "personal" reasons. Meanwhile it has had a formal complaint filed against it by the National Labor Relations Board for firing 20 employees who were trying to organize a union, creating an in-house union to undermine those organizing efforts, and coercing workers into participating in an anti-union rally. It's capitalism with an inhuman face. Coincidentally or not, Guess' earnings and revenue also have slid sharply, and what's interesting is that Guess' problems seem, in substance, almost identical to Levi's. Although the Marcianos are legendary for their abusive and intimidating management style--one former company CFO called Paul Marciano "psychotic" in a sworn affidavit--and for their habit of taking huge dividends out of the company's profits, they're not doing anything different today from the way they did business three years ago. They've always been crazy. It's just that now the Guess label has lost its cachet. The buzz is fading, and the company's jeans in particular, which a Fortune writer once said "made women look like Parisian hookers," seem like a vestige of a time when we read Less Than Zero and listened to Echo and the Bunnymen (which we may do still, but while wearing khakis). Without cachet, what does Guess have? Mostly, a really lousy labor-relations record. So is the moral of the story that both the high road and the low road can take you into trouble if you stop paying attention to the taste makers? Partly. But the differences between the two companies--both, it's worth remembering, controlled by a small group of shareholders--also demonstrate that the choice of the high or the low road is a real choice. And our ideas of what constitutes a fair wage or a fair return on capital are historically contingent. Is a corporation supposed to net 12 percent of its sales or 20 percent? Should executives be paid 20 times the median wages of their employees or 300 times? The market does not dictate a universal solution to these questions, and so Levi's and Guess are able to answer them in very different ways. Unfortunately, in the face of the universal solvent of hipness, how you answer those questions seems to matter less than how you respond to this one: "So, do you have the 35-inch-wide legs or don't you?" Rape and Murder Russia's re-emergence as a big player in the Kosovo crisis was a major story across Europe Wednesday, with papers giving contrasting interpretations of this week's talks in Moscow between U.S. Deputy Secretary of State Strobe Talbott and the Russian special envoy to Yugoslavia, Victor Chernomyrdin. In Germany, the Frankfurter Allgemeine Zeitung ran a front-page headline reading "Rapprochement between Washington and Moscow" and stressed their commitment to future cooperation. The Italian papers, by contrast, generally pronounced the negotiations a failure. La Repubblica of Rome said that peace is now more remote, La Stampa of Turin that the meeting produced no result, and Corriere della Sera of Milan that Yugoslav President Slobodan Milosevic is resisting Russia's efforts at a diplomatic solution. There was much uncertainty, too, about the significance of Yugoslav Deputy Prime Minister Vuk Draskovic's statement that Milosevic would accept a U.N. peacekeeping force. "What does Draskovic stand for? Who stands behind Draskovic?" asked the Frankfurter Allgemeine Zeitung in an editorial that didn't provide answers. Rapprochement or not, the Financial Times of London reported from Moscow that vehement opposition to NATO's actions in Yugoslavia is "the most consensual issue in Russian politics today." Most European papers gave prominence to Alexander Solzhenitsyn's saying that the world has entered a new era of lawlessness and that NATO's disregard for the United Nations was comparable to Hitler's contempt for the League of Nations. Corriere della Sera carried an interview with Russian Prime Minister Yevgeny Primakov, who said that Milosevic will never surrender. "NATO would have to send in 200,000 ground troops, and who's to say that even they would be sufficient. There would follow a long war, the first real one in Europe since World War II, that would cause many, many dead and even more refugees." Answering the accusation that Russia hasn't done enough to help the Kosovars, Primakov said it could have done more if it hadn't been excluded from the Rambouillet conference. Primakov said that the Balkan conflict has undermined his efforts to democratize Russian institutions, combat corruption, guarantee free expression, and bring Russia closer to Europe, because it has reopened Russian religious, political, and ethnic divisions and, above all, revived Russian hatred of the West. "If Russia were to become an Asiatic power again, world equilibrium would be at risk," he said. Primakov added that he had tried in vain to understand the logic of NATO's actions, but they had served only to consolidate the Milosevic regime and eliminate all political opposition in Serbia. If NATO's attacks were initially directed at military targets, "they are now ruining the economy of rather a poor country. When Western troops cross the Yugoslav border, they will find nothing but graves and hatred. With what advantages? To what purpose?" In Britain, the Kosovo conflict has been squeezed off the front pages of many papers this week by extensive coverage of the murder Monday of Jill Dando, a popular TV presenter, who was shot in the head with a pistol on her front doorstep in west London. But Wednesday, the tabloid Daily Mail managed to link even this event to the war with front-page speculation that her murderer might be a Serbian gunman seeking revenge for NATO's bombing of a Belgrade TV station last week. Tuesday's Guardian of London carried a rare, perhaps unique, interview with a volunteer Serbian "cleanser," a 50-year-old Belgrade truck driver named Milan Petrovic, who recently spent 10 days in Kosovo helping to drive thousands of ethnic Albanians from their homes. Petrovic said that the cleansers are under orders not to kill, beat, or mutilate their victims and that most obeyed. "One in a hundred, I'd say, did raping or killing or that kind of thing--not more," he said. While claiming that the cleansers generally "respected human rights," Petrovic didn't attempt to conceal his racial prejudice. "They're cowards, those Albanians, they run like rabbits," he said. The rich Albanians--"all criminals you know, with satellite TVs and big houses"--are tougher to move than the others, "but if you push hard enough, they all go in the end." Petrovic claimed to feel sorry for the children he expelled from their homes, but said that, as Albanians, they had no right to be in Kosovo. "I had to follow my orders, and anyway, I knew there would always be someone to meet those women and children," he said. As for the KLA "terrorists," he would have liked to kill them and their families on the spot, but his orders had been to hand them over to the army. "I don't know what they did to them--they're probably holding them as prisoners of war." Petrovic said he had signed up as a cleanser when the war started to show his disgust for NATO. He was one of about 2,000 volunteers who assembled in the southern Serbian city of Nis before leaving there to start cleansing operations in the Kosovo village of Silovo. He said he saw little of NATO's war, "We heard the planes way up above us, but I think they were concentrating on Pristina so they didn't give us any trouble." In London Wednesday, the tabloid Daily Express reported from Kukes in Albania that 100 Kosovar women gave the same account to UNICEF counselors of how they had been repeatedly stripped, sprayed with perfume, and then raped by Serb soldiers who held them hostage in three houses for several days. The subject of rape also cropped up in an interview Wednesday by Corriere della Sera with the wife of the suspected war criminal and former Bosnian Serb President Radovan Karadzic. Ljiljiana Karadzic, who like her husband is a psychiatrist, said that in Bosnia-Herzegovina, Serb soldiers had been accused of raping 150,000 women. "If we compare this figure with the number of our soldiers, it means that every one of them must have raped three women," she said. "So when did they find the time to fight?" Referring to one claim by a Bosnian woman that her 75-year-old cousin had been forced to rape her at rifle point, Karadzic commented: "I am also a sexologist. To think that I could have cured my patients of impotence by pointing a pistol at their temples!" The British satirical magazine Private Eye had an exceptionally tasteless cover this week of President Clinton photographed in intimate conversation with British Foreign Secretary Robin Cook under the headline "Clinton--Ground War Latest." Clinton is saying, "I'm not going in--it's too risky." "I expect you say that to all the girls," replies Cook. No. 233: "Courtly" "I couldn't do my current job without them," said Justice Antonin Scalia yesterday as he waved something in the air. What? by noon ET Thursday to e-mail your answer to newsquiz@slate.com . Tuesday's Question (No. 232)--"Summoning DiMaggio's Ghost": The list includes whistling, making certain hand gestures, and carrying bottles, baseball bats, or flashlights. List of what? "Telltale signs that your teen-ager might be troubled. That and having a bomb factory in your garage."-- Barbara Lippert ( Andrew Kickertz , Francis Heaney , and Michael Jenkinson had similar answers.) "Things I'm not allowed to do within 50 yards of Dame Judi Dench."-- Daniel Radosh "Why, West Side Story dance steps, of course."--Steve Lyle "Ways to ward off Peter Lorre in M ."-- Andrea Carla "Been in a Coma Since 1932" Michaels "Chapter headings in Wendy Shalit's new book, When Modesty Fails ."-- Ananda Gupta Click for more answers. Kate Wing's Question Critique Oh, Randy, this is one of those questions where you taunt us with the open arms of the obvious. You--sitting in a well-upholstered recliner, casually sipping something top-shelf and free of little umbrellas, poking lackadaisically at a morsel of takeout--have only to dance your fingertips across the keyboard to condemn us as we fall prey to writing "things prohibited in high schools" or "new ways to pick up interns." We are so weak, Randy. Pity us. Randy's Wrap-Up "The whole system should be blown up." No, not Eric Harris or Dylan Klebold on the Littleton schools--that's Rudolph Giuliani on the New York schools. Metaphorically? Wadda ya, an idiot? It's just an expression. "I can understand why people would pick on it. Because they want to deliberately misunderstand it," said the mayor. "And if anybody misunderstands it, they're honestly doing it on purpose. To get me," he added, except for those last three words. News Quiz participants mostly associate the activities in today's question with Littleton or Kosovo, two locales that President Clinton seems unable to connect, even when his hand-wringing about teen violence runs on the same front pages that report NATO bombs and refugee suffering. It's a violent country. Who knew? I'm no fancy social reformer but maybe, just maybe, the whole system should be blown up. Metaphorically. Don't pretend not to understand me, the way those robots do when they follow me around. Idiots. There's No Such Thing as a Free Association Answer All are illegal under the anti-gang statutes of various California towns. Betty Loren-Maltese, town president of Cicero, Ill., wants to fight even harder; she proposes exiling gang members--banishing them from Cicero--and coming down hard if they ever return, even to visit their families. The people of Cicero overwhelmingly supported a nonbinding referendum on her plan. Q: How will Betty Loren-Maltese identify gang members? A: The town has a list of 600 "known gang members" including several minors. They'd have 60 days to get out of town. Q: How does Betty Loren-Maltese propose to round up these young thugs? A: She might consider gating neighborhoods and establishing police checkpoints. Q: Cicero has a reputation for racism and government corruption. What did the Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. call it? A: The Selma of the North. Q: Does Betty Loren-Maltese think her law should apply to convicted felons like her late husband and to those in organized crime? A: "If they get involved in drive-by shootings." Q: How does Betty Loren-Maltese respond when constitutional scholar Mark Tushnet notes: "You can punish people for what they do; you can't punish people for what that are." A: "The ACLU says gang members have rights. How about our civil rights?" Q: Is there something else Betty Loren-Maltese kind of calls her proposal? A: "I kind of call it tough love." Prelude to a Kick Extra "This is an all-out war on people who do bad things," said San Francisco Mayor Willie Brown, just before strangling Michael Eisner with the entrails of Rupert Murdoch. Or perhaps he was planning to arrest some more jaywalkers. "Any visit-and-search regime, of course, has to have the appropriate rules of engagement," said Gen. Wesley Clark, just before rummaging through Julia Roberts' lingerie drawer. Or perhaps he was clarifying NATO plans to board Balkans-bound oil tankers. "There's still a lot of old equipment out there," said Mick Mack, just before using a laser pointer to highlight surprising features of Cher's anatomy. Or perhaps he was commenting on dangerously outmoded playground apparatus. "I want to make a plea to everybody who is waiting for the next deer season in my home state," said President Clinton, just before telling newly mobilized Air National Guardsmen that bombing Serbs would be a lot like shooting ruminants, only safer. Or perhaps he was about to announce a new gun control package. Common Denominator Littleton and Kosovo. The Financial-News Fad I believe it was the transformation of Maria Bartiromo into a household name that told me that something new was really afoot. Granted, she's only a household name in certain households, but the 30-year-old host of CNBC's Business Center has enjoyed a precipitous ascent up the fame ladder, seeing herself featured in Newsweek and USA Today and interviewed by David Letterman. Bartiromo, in short, has been anointed the new face of the new boom in business news. The boom can be seen in the arrival of business news on the front pages of daily newspapers, the rise of business coverage at mainstream publications like GQ and Vanity Fair --and, above all, in the new attention being paid to television networks like CNBC and CNNfn. The buzz, at least, is that the growing diffusion of stock ownership has made Americans care much more about the stock market than ever before, while the uncontested authority of the free market has placed business at the center of the culture. As it happens, it's difficult to figure out whether business news really is much more popular, or whether network executives and media analysts have just decided it should be . CNBC's business shows have an average viewership of somewhere between 120,000 and 150,000. The network's viewership peaked at just over a million when the market crashed Oct. 27. CNNfn, meanwhile, still gets hash marks instead of Nielsen ratings, which means that its audience is so small that it can't be measured. And while Moneyline --CNN's 7 p.m. business roundup hosted by Lou Dobbs, who's also in charge of CNNfn--often draws close to half a million viewers, that's still insignificant next to anything the major networks do. Of course, CNNfn is hindered by the fact that so few cable systems carry it--it's available in only 8.9 million homes. For its part, CNBC insists that its audience during the trading day is underestimated by at least 40 percent, because a significant number of brokers and traders supposedly keep their televisions tuned to it as they go about their business. This may well be true, but even if it is, it doesn't tell us very much about the broader impact of the financial-news "boom," since those analysts presumably have always paid serious attention to the market. Nonetheless, it seems likely that the growing importance of the stock market to the retirement plans of middle-class Americans has translated into stepped-up coverage of business news and a greater willingness on the part of mainstream news outlets--daily newspapers and network television--to showcase pieces on market turmoil. The problem is that the new wave of business news doesn't really illuminate the workings of the system all that well. In fact, most so-called business news isn't really news about business--the creation and distribution of goods and services--at all. Instead, most of it is "market" news--fruitless attempts to explain what traders are going to do in the near future, or somewhat-beside-the-point explanations of why traders did what they did in the near past. If CNBC and CNNfn are the sports pages of the late 1990s, the way they cover the stock market is analogous to a football commentator worrying more about a team's popularity than about its won-lost record. To be sure, if you watch CNBC all day long you'll pick up some interesting news about particular companies and the economy as a whole. Unfortunately, to get to the useful information, you have to wade through reams of useless stuff, with little guidance on how to distinguish between the two. The basic reality of an all-news channel, after all, is that there is a huge amount of time to fill every single day. As a result, CNBC and CNNfn both offer a hodgepodge of fundamental analysis, technical analysis, macroeconomic news, trend spotters, and the occasional hard-news story. A day spent watching CNBC is an object lesson in what the word "pastiche" really means. From one angle, of course, this might seem to be the ideal expression of the supermarket approach to understanding the world--or, in this case, the stock market. CNBC doesn't offer just one angle on the market. It offers multiple perspectives, in order to let viewers choose for themselves. ("I'll have two pounds of technical analysis, one pound of momentum trading, and a half-pound of fundamentals. Thanks.") So first we get a "technical" analyst who believes that if you look at the charts of a stock's movements over the past year, you can discern coherent patterns that will guide you in predicting when that stock's price is due to rise or fall. That analyst is followed by another who believes that the key is to seek out and buy those industries currently in favor with investors. She, in turn, is followed by an advocate for a more conventional approach: looking for companies with strong earnings growth that are currently trading at low stock prices. The problem here is not that the technical analyst is crazy, although he is. The problem is that these analyses of the market are presented as if they're all of equal value--when, in truth, for any one to be correct, the others (with some minor exceptions) must be incorrect. The network interviewer--often the same one--talking to these various analysts never says: "Your argument directly contradicts the one we heard just 15 minutes ago. Why should we believe you?" Instead, there's just a lot of nodding in assent. One way of averting this problem would be for CNBC or CNNfn to feature discussions among advocates of different approaches to understanding the market. But that sort of open conflict would run the risk of revealing the inherently futile nature of the project these networks are engaged in, namely, trying to make sense of the stock market's movement in the short term. Each day, after all, there are lots of different reasons why the market does what it does. But you'll never be able to summarize them all--and, more importantly, whatever reasons you find today aren't going to help you understand what the market will do tomorrow. In the short term, investing is really just a random walk. What's really wrong with the financial-news boom, then, is that by creating the illusion that the walk is other than random, it depends upon and encourages a trader's approach to investing. The point of having a stock market, after all, is not so that people can buy Intel at 72 when it's on its way up and sell at 76 to reap a quick profit. The point is that investors are supposed to direct capital toward companies that will make productive use of it and direct capital away from companies that will not. Just as index-fund investing defeats this purpose, so too does trading based on anything other than an evaluation of a company's underlying prospects for the future. That's why ideally CNBC would feature nothing but informative pieces on publicly traded companies, with occasional glances at the overall economic climate. Of course, its ratings would soon be turned into hash marks. Which might suggest that real business news is no more popular than it ever was. The Phony War This is a season of refusal in American politics. The Clinton scandals, exhausted, refuse to revive themselves. Texas Gov. George W. Bush, anointed, refuses to campaign for president till summer arrives. Congress, terrified of Social Security, refuses to do anything at all. Politics, too, abhors a vacuum, so Washington has concocted a story to fill the void: Bill Bradley, whose presidential campaign was written off just months ago, is surging, and Vice President Al Gore, the nominee presumptive, is in deep trouble. No matter that the New Hampshire primary is 10 months away. In recent weeks, the New York Times , the Wall Street Journal , the Chicago Tribune , many smaller papers, and all three newsweeklies have touted the viability of Bradley's campaign and the messiness of Gore's. Last Sunday, the great sage David Broder declared that Gore was struggling and conferred the mantle of electability on Bradley. Bradley's numbers seem to be rising in the polls: One shows Bradley favored by 35 percent of Democratic voters, trailing Gore by only 17 points. (Other polls show Bradley in the 20s, trailing Gore by at least 25 points.) Bradley is an impressive candidate, blessed with celebrity, thoughtfulness, and a good heart, and Gore can be an erratic campaigner. But the Bradley Surge and Gore Stumble have little to do with the candidates. We are witnessing one of the first fake battles of what the Progressive Policy Institute's Will Marshall calls "the phony war" of the campaign. This is the period when voters are indifferent, and when journalists, Democratic candidates, and Republican troublemakers spin and position and jockey to write the script for the coming real campaign--in this case, a script that makes Bradley a white knight and Gore a looming disaster. The first reason for the Bradley Surge is that Dollar Bill is proving himself a better fund-raiser than anyone expected. He collected $4.3 million in the first three months of the year, less than half what Gore raised, but more than enough to make him a legitimate candidate. His first fund-raising reports two weeks ago gave journalists an opening to laud him. The Bradley surge also owes something to his fame. Bradley is the John McCain of the left, the politician who turns baby boomer men weak in the knees. His "Princeton, basketball, sense-of-where-you-are, Rhodes Scholar, New York Knick" mystique won him a free pass as the thinking man's senator. This was only reinforced by his celebrated reluctance to run for president in 1988 and 1992 and his "politics is broken" retirement speech in 1996. His reputation as the politician too good for politics has been a key feature of the early adulatory campaign coverage. But the most important reasons for Bradley's supposed surge are independent of the candidate. Bradley has lucked into a one-on-one race. Besides serving as yet another useful basketball metaphor for Bradley--"I'm going one-on-one with Al Gore"--the two-man race gives Bradley instant viability. He's automatically one gaffe away from the nomination. Political Washington is desperate for a Democratic horse race, but a horse race can only happen if Bradley is perceived to be strong, and he will only be perceived to be strong if everyone says he is. The one-on-one campaign also explains Bradley's apparent rise in the polls. As the only challenger, Bradley collects all the anti-Gore votes. Bradley's numbers have climbed as pollsters dropped Richard Gephardt, Paul Wellstone, and Jesse Jackson from their surveys. "Fifty-two to 35 looks a lot better for Bradley than 52 to 13 to 12 to 10," gripes a Gore staffer. Bradley's media boomlet also depends on Democratic anxiety about Gore. Gore trails both George W. Bush and Elizabeth Dole in nationwide polls. More than 50 percent of one poll sample called Gore "boring." Gore has become a kind of voodoo doll for Clinton: When the president is in trouble, his approval ratings remain high, but Gore's numbers sag. A recent Pew Research Center survey found that the vast majority of Americans are sick of the Clinton administration scandals, and they are taking out their frustration on Gore. "Americans want someone who continues Clinton's policies and programs but who is not Clinton. Gore ought to fit that bill," says Pew Director Andrew Kohut. "But somehow there is a link between Clinton and Gore that is hurting Gore." Democrats feeling panicky over the Gore numbers are touting Bradley as the remedy: Every piece on Bradley emphasizes that he shares Gore's moderate, thoughtful, New Democrat politics but isn't handcuffed to Clinton. Republicans are doing their best to intensify this Democratic anxiety about the vice president. They are trying to Quaylize Gore. Republican house members, Republican senators, the Republican National Committee, and Republican interest groups have been assaulting Gore for the past few months, trying to turn him into a figure of fun. They have ridiculed his "creating the Internet" comment, his claim that he and Tipper were the model for Love Story , and his anecdotes about growing up as a farm boy. The notion that Bradley is rising and Gore is falling can become true if everyone keeps declaring it so. But what's more likely is that time and the natural course of campaigns will take their toll. Campaigns are self-correcting: If Bradley gets close enough to be a real challenge to Gore, he will be subject to the same withering fire that Gore faces. It will be pointed out again and again that Bradley is just as awkward a campaigner as Gore. Bradley, who has belittled Gore's microproposals (sprawl, traffic, etc.), will see his own self-proclaimed "" questioned. As the plucky challenger, Bradley can campaign both to the left and right of Gore, picking up support from anti-Gore, pro-labor activists on one day and boosting his pro-business, pro-free-trade agenda to Wall Streeters a few days later. But if his campaign really prospers and he has to explain what he believes, he'll have a hard time holding that coalition together. At the moment, Bradley can promote his support for campaign finance reform, but if he does well, he'll be battered with questions about his own aggressive fund raising. The progression of the campaign will also rescue Gore from his Vice Presidential Malaise. The Democratic fretfulness about Gore's polls is premature: Vice presidents always poll terribly in the year before their presidential campaign. George Bush, you may remember, trailed Gary Hart in 1987 polls, and Newsweek even ran a cover story about Bush and "the wimp factor." Gore has been Clinton's lackey for more than six years. He's loyal to his president, and that loyalty makes him look ineffectual. (George W. Bush kills Gore in poll questions about "leadership." Bush is the manly governor of Texas, while Gore moderates Reinventing Government seminars.) The cure for the phony war will be the real one. Come fall and winter, surges and stumbles will really mean something. By then Gore will be campaigning seriously, distancing himself from Clinton, and running macho ads; Bradley will have defined his big ideas and endured the inevitable media backlash to his current rave notices; and the voters will actually be paying attention. Viacom's Shortsighted Search for Synergy Visions of multimedia synergy dance in Sumner Redstone's head. Redstone is CEO of media conglomerate Viacom. Film (Paramount), television (MTV and Nickelodeon), video (Blockbuster), books (Simon & Schuster): Viacom owns them all, and Redstone keeps believing that someday they will all work as one. Imagine a best-selling novelization of a hit film based on the MTV series The Real World , a film that then becomes the No. 1-selling videotape at Blockbuster, and you get some sense of the oasis that Redstone keeps glimpsing just over the next sand dune. In the past, Viacom's dogged pursuit of media synergy led it to overpay for everything from Paramount Studios to Blockbuster, and burdened it with a debt load worthy of a small nation. It also led Viacom--at a time when corporate America was casting doubt on the conglomerate model and stressing the virtues of playing to core strengths--to cling to the things it bought with a discomfiting tenacity. The announcement that Viacom wanted to sell S & S's educational and professional divisions--textbooks, computer books, professional books, and reference books--then, came as something of a welcome surprise, at least to Viacom stockholders. Although the divisions were profitable (more profitable, in fact, than S & S's trade division), they didn't fit very well with Redstone's idea of the company. More importantly, when Viacom started talking about getting as much as $4.5 billion for the divisions and using the money to cut its debt in half, the words "fiscal responsibility" suddenly sounded less improbable than they once had. There remains a great deal of skepticism in the media about whether Viacom can get its price, but S & S's educational and professional divisions are the largest in the world, and the divisions have done adequately under a company for which they were but an afterthought. In the hands of a company with a real investment in publishing, like Reed Elsevier or McGraw-Hill, they have the potential to be cash cows. Potentially a win-win deal all around? Perhaps. Still, it's odd that Viacom went public with its plans before lining up a prospective buyer. As one company source points out, saying "I'm really anxious to sell. Make me an offer" is hardly the best strategy if you're looking to drive a hard bargain. It's also a little surprising that Viacom has chosen to sell in 1998, rather than taking advantage of the big tax savings that the law provides had the company waited a year and then spun off the publishing assets into a separate company. But Redstone's desire to remake the company--and to placate shareholders, who have been disenchanted with Viacom for two years now--outweighed tax considerations. What's most interesting about the deal is that Viacom will be holding on to the rest of S & S. Book publishing is not generally a high-profit-margin business, and it's also not as jazzy as television or the movies. The decision to keep S & S only makes sense, then, in the context of Redstone's synergistic hopes. Viacom, he says, is now going to "focus on software-driven entertainment," which is the inelegant 1990s way of saying that Viacom wants all its divisions to be oriented toward mass-market entertainment. And he points to the success of the new MTV and Nickelodeon book imprints and of books tied to Paramount film releases as evidence that the company's parts add up to a stronger whole. But the fact that S & S publishes books based on MTV series--like the dreaded Real World books--isn't, in and of itself, evidence of any real synergy. After all, even if some other house published these books, MTV would reap the benefits of licensing, royalties, etc. And Viacom wouldn't have to worry about what happens when that next Road Rules book tanks. Similarly, publishing books based on your own movies is a great idea when the movies are doing well. But if you put out a few box-office duds, publishing books based on those duds means you pay for the failures twice. Real synergy, in other words, only happens when you are able to take lessons from one business and apply them to another. If Viacom were using its Nickelodeon-induced expertise in appealing to the 9-year-olds market to sell children's books better, or taking what it's learned from MTV to make readers out of disgruntled teen-agers, the idea of synergy would make more sense. Now, it's possible that this is, in fact, happening behind the scenes. But if it is, no one at S & S seems aware of it. Actually, at this point no one at S & S is sure that they're aware of anything. Viacom got S & S when it bought Paramount, but it wanted Paramount, not a book company. And even though S & S is probably the most profitable trade publisher in America, the book market is essentially a stagnant one, at least in terms of profits. Many people there imagine that the trade division will be the next to go. The joke going around S & S these days is that Morgan Stanley, which is handling the sale for Viacom, told Viacom that it could get $4 billion to $4.5 billion if the trade division were included and ... well, $4 billion to $4.5 billion if the trade division weren't included. The problem with this analysis is that it assumes that the book industry is somehow in worse shape than the rest of the entertainment industry. This assumption seems intuitively right--we no longer live in a print culture, right?--but there's actually very little evidence to back it up. The weird thing about the American economy, in fact, is that at a time when mass-marketed leisure and entertainment are supposedly more and more important to our economic well-being, the entertainment industry as a whole is barely growing at all. If, as The X-Files would have it, we're now ruled by a military-industrial-entertainment complex, the "entertainment" part of that complex needs to take some quick lessons in management and profit growth from its two partners. On the face of it, this seems crazy. David Geffen, Michael Eisner, Steven Spielberg, Sumner Redstone: These are among the most prominent faces of the New Economy. They end up on the cover of Vanity Fair and Wired . They foreshadow the world in which we're all either symbolic analysts or hamburger flippers. But look at the numbers. Last year, the music industry saw sales decline slightly. Movie attendance was down. Trade publishers sold 5 percent fewer books than they did the year before. And the audience for cable television seems to have plateaued at around 70 percent of all U.S. households, while viewership of the major networks has, of course, continued to drop. Is everyone watching videos instead? Hardly. Video rentals dropped 4 percent in 1997, which is part of the reason that Blockbuster is only worth about half today of what Viacom paid for it in 1994. None of this is to say that there aren't successful entertainment companies, although the short list would probably include only Disney, Si Newhouse Jr.'s Advance Publications, and perhaps CBS (because of its radio business). But these individual successes can't disguise the very curious reality that we're living in a world that is somehow saturated by the media without actually paying all that much attention to it. For most American companies today, success depends on selling more of your product next year than you did this year. But if American entertainment companies can sell as much of their product next year as they did this year, they should count themselves lucky. If you want to know what a real myth is, don't bother with synergy. Just look at the entertainment industry's self-image instead. Does the Third World Deserve Second-Class AIDS Treatment? This September, the New England Journal of Medicine created a firestorm when it accused researchers of conducting unethical experiments to reduce HIV in newborns in Third World countries. The charges, comparing the work to the infamous Tuskegee experiment, have since halted at least one HIV study. But a closer look suggests that the critics suffer from an ethical blindness of their own. The studies in question are seeking low-cost ways to prevent HIV-positive pregnant mothers from transmitting the virus to their newborns. A breakthrough 1994 study found a drug regimen that dramatically reduced HIV-transmission rates--from 26 percent of births to 8 percent. Doctors in industrialized nations rapidly adopted the strategy as the standard of care. At $800 a pop, however, poor countries can't afford the full regimen. It's also too complex. Mothers must take AZT, an antiviral, five times a day during pregnancy; receive intravenous AZT during labor; forgo breastfeeding to prevent transmission in milk; and give their babies liquid AZT four times daily for six weeks. Sixteen studies to find simpler, cheaper methods are now testing everything from vitamin A to a shorter course of oral AZT. The U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and the National Institutes of Health fund nine of these, involving 12,211 women in Uganda, Thailand, Tanzania, and elsewhere. In every study, some mothers must serve as a comparison group, and that's where the trouble begins. For two years researchers debated whether to compare new therapies to the full AZT regimen or to no treatment at all. In the end, 15 of the 16 trials gave the comparison group a placebo. In their article reopening the debate, Peter Lurie and Sidney Wolfe, doctors with Ralph Nader's Public Citizen Health Research Group, condemned these 15 trials. Researchers giving placebos, they said, were knowingly killing children. They quoted the Helsinki Declaration of the World Health Organization: "In any medical study, every patient--including those of a control group, if any--should be assured of the best proven diagnostic and therapeutic methods." To them, the only valid question is how new treatments compare to the complex AZT treatment. The Journal 's editorial was even more pointed. It accused HIV researchers of "self-serving justification," and likened their studies to the Tuskegee experiment. Conducted by the U.S. Public Health Service from 1932 to 1972, that study left 412 black syphilitic men untreated--even after penicillin became widely available--in an attempt to determine the natural history of syphilis. The experiment, halted only after exposure by journalists, remains a textbook example of unethical, racist research. The Journal 's charges made front-page news. Only a pre-publication leak allowed NIH director Harold Varmus and CDC director David Satcher to publish their indignant defense the next week. In an unlikely spectacle, Republican Sen. Dan Coats stood up for poor Africans to oppose Satcher's nomination for surgeon general. (Ultimately, the Senate Labor Committee approved Satcher 12 to 5.) Johns Hopkins researchers suspended an Ethiopian study with placebos. Other suspensions may follow. Ethics, the critics insist, demand that U.S. researchers provide the American standard of care to Third World subjects to avoid exploitation. But they don't. The critics' arguments seem reasonable only if they ignore the facts: This isn't Tuskegee . In Tuskegee, doctors sought no public review, had no clearly beneficial aim, and deceived patients into getting no treatment. By comparison, the HIV trials were reviewed extensively and approved by local governments and the World Health Organization. The experimental therapies may offer great benefit. And some subjects receive placebos because, unlike penicillin for Alabama, the full AZT regimen is out of reach for poor countries. The complete AZT regimen isn't coming . By 2000, 6 million pregnant women in developing nations will carry HIV. Critics are right that a complex AZT regimen would be best for them. It is the standard of care. So are CAT scanners and heart-bypass surgery. But poor countries aren't going to get any of these. Cost is a big reason--these countries typically spend under $20 per person on health care annually. But even if Glaxo Wellcome gave away the drugs, the complete regimen is still infeasible in much of Africa and south Asia. There, tubing and skills for intravenous AZT are scarce. The governments can't afford to give moms formula to stop them from breast-feeding. Mothers also live too far from doctors to get therapy early in pregnancy and to keep up with necessary monitoring. Something may be better than nothing . If trials compared low-cost therapy to the complete AZT regimen it's likely that the new regimens will prove less effective. But such results are useless , since the full treatment is not an option. Without a placebo group, we still won't know if any of the treatments are better than nothing and therefore worth giving. We've been here before . These issues aren't new. Cheap oral hydration, for example, has been studied and used to treat dehydration for diarrheal illness in developing countries. It works--but not as well as intravenous hydration. Far from condemning its use as unethical, however, doctors have embraced oral hydration as the model of locally appropriate therapy. Similarly, poor countries won't adopt a new rotavirus vaccine, despite 600,000 deaths a year from diarrhea caused by the bug. Inoculating every child at $30 a dose would divert scarce resources from even better uses. The core issue is whether it is ethical for Americans to conduct Third World studies seeking therapies cheaper and perhaps inferior to our own. It can be, but only if: 1) Subjects get the best care feasible locally (they do). 2) It's done for local benefit (measuring a new therapy against placebo isn't useful for the West; we'd switch only if it were as effective as the more complex therapy). 3) The new regimens are themselves feasible (at costs from pennies to $60 per patient, they seem to be). 4) The American standard is unavailable for legitimate reasons (I've already mentioned all the obstacles). For the folks at Public Citizen, this last criterion really sticks in their craws. It offends them to see researchers accepting the high cost of American medical care as a given. Could drug companies lower their costs? Maybe, maybe not. But this is not the way to debate free-market pricing of technology. Don't stop the research. Acknowledging reality isn't unethical, but ignoring it can be. The Dead Baby Mystery One by one, between 1949 and 1968, each of the 10 children Marie Noe bore died. One was stillborn. One died at the hospital just after birth. And the others expired at home, just infants, in their cribs, where Noe said she found them blue and either limp or gasping. Doctors, including some of the most respected pathologists of the time, could find no explanation for the eight crib deaths. Indeed, the medical community came to recognize that thousands of seemingly healthy infants inexplicably died in their beds each year, and they coined the name Sudden Infant Death Syndrome, or SIDS, for these cases. Eight unexplained deaths in one family do not sit easily. We expect more from science, doctors, and cops. On Aug. 4, Philadelphia District Attorney Lynne Abraham seemingly satisfied our expectations when she cited new medical evidence to allege that Noe, now 70, had smothered the children with a pillow. "Science," Abraham told the Associated Press, "has been solving old, unsolved cases." She charged Noe with eight counts of first degree murder. Abraham's claim puzzled me. How did she determine the deaths were homicide and not SIDS? SIDS is not really a disease but rather the name we've given to one of the great medical mysteries of our time: Any sudden infant death that remains unexplained after a complete post-mortem investigation is defined as SIDS. Typically in SIDS cases, a previously healthy baby is found dead in bed. No cry is heard from the infant prior to its death. The child may be found with clenched fists or frothy, blood-stained fluid issuing from the nose and mouth. Although 90 percent of SIDS deaths occur by six months of age, older infants can die spontaneously and unexpectedly as well. One early SIDS theory that babies simply stop breathing has been discredited. Two suggestive findings are that sleeping on soft bedding and sleeping face down both increase a baby's risk of sudden death. A successful campaign to get parents to put babies to bed on their backs or sides has been associated with a 38 percent drop in SIDS deaths over four years. Perhaps SIDS will turn out to be a kind of freak accident in which babies, unable to turn over, are smothered by their own bedding. The findings raise questions about how in the world you could accurately distinguish suffocation from SIDS--especially in the Noe cases in which the original autopsies showed no marks of force, and the corpses are probably now nothing but bone. Forensic pathologists and child abuse experts I contacted confirmed that there is no distinctive autopsy finding or new test that could distinguish SIDS from homicide by suffocation. So what was the basis for charging Noe? An official close to the case who requested anonymity admitted that there was no evidence that supported the charges of homicide. The doctors involved simply reviewed the old medical evidence. Had the previous pathologists missed physical signs of suffocation? No, the official said. It appears that the critical factor was the pattern. Eight deaths in one family was highly suspicious, and Noe was the only person present when each of the children died. (The district attorney reopened the Noe cases after a March Philadelphia magazine story about them.) In child abuse cases, science often can only provide circumstantial evidence. Occasionally, we doctors find convincing evidence of abuse: cigarette burns, X-rays showing multiple fractures of varying age, bruises that trace the outline of a coat hanger, a stockinglike burn suggesting a foot plunged into and held down in hot liquid. However, most cases do not come with such obvious signs. In deciding whether to sic the department of social services on a case, we have only vague indicators to rely upon. For example, according to guidelines used at Children's Hospital in Boston, any bruise, facial laceration, or long bone fracture in an infant is considered evidence of possible abuse. In the end, doctors look for the parents to tell us much more than any physical evidence can. Not long ago, my year-old daughter was playing unsupervised in an adjacent room when suddenly, she screamed. My wife found her lying on the ground, her right arm bent midway between the elbow and the wrist as if she had an unnatural extra joint. As near as we could figure, it seemed she had tried to climb onto our couch, our 2-year-old son had pushed her over, and her arm had got caught in the slats. As she fell, the bones of the forearm broke in two. When I took her to the hospital, I was grilled by three different people asking me over and over again, "Now, exactly how did this happen?" It was, I knew, a suspicious story--an unwitnessed fall resulting in a bad fracture. The doctors were looking, just as I do when I see young trauma victims, for any inconsistencies or changes in the story. It's easy for parents to feel self-righteous when doctors ask questions as if they're cops, but as advanced as medicine has become, questions are still our main diagnostic test for abuse. Ultimately, I must have allayed any concerns. My daughter got a pink cast, and I took her home without incident. I couldn't help but think, however, that my social status played a role in all this. As much as doctors may try to avoid it, when we decide whether to involve officials in a case, social factors inevitably play a role. For example, we know that single parents have almost double the risk of being abusive, poor families almost 16 times the likelihood. One-third of crack-using mothers are found to abuse or neglect their children. (Race, by the way, is not a factor.) In the case of Noe, these factors played to her advantage. She was married, middle-class, respectable. But the fact of eight deaths must mean something, right? As one coroner involved in the case said, repeating a maxim that has gained currency among pathologists, "One SIDS death is a tragedy. Two is a mystery. Three is murder." The real answer, however, is that science can't tell us what happened beyond reasonable doubt. Bucking his colleagues, Pittsburgh Medical Examiner Cyril Wecht says that multiple SIDS deaths in one family do not automatically mean murder. The numbers certainly make the Noe deaths suspicious. After all, experts now believe that losing one baby to SIDS does not increase the likelihood that a family will lose another. However, Wecht points out, there have been cases of two and three unexplained infant deaths in a family in which homicide was ruled highly unlikely. Parents of SIDS babies have been wrongly accused in the past. And most troubling, as I said before, we don't know what SIDS is in the first place. We may have lumped several different diseases together in describing the syndrome. Perhaps multiple natural deaths in a family are possible. Although science often cannot prove even fatal child abuse, it is not without its power. Confronted with the medical "proof" of homicide, Noe admitted to suffocating four of her children. She apparently couldn't recall what had happened to the others. Her lawyer, however, is questioning the reliability of the confession, obtained during an all-night interview. He says she will plead innocent to the charges. Weld vs. Helms Bill Weld, the former Republican governor of Massachusetts, wants the Senate to consider his nomination to be U.S. ambassador to Mexico. Jesse Helms, the Republican chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee, wants to stop him. Last week, Weld quit his job to go to Washington to lobby for his cause. Through surrogates, interviews, and press conferences, the two men are waging a war of words. This war isn't bound by strict rules of logic, but it's more intellectual than an arm-twisting match. It's a contest of conceptualization and persuasion. Whichever player successfully frames the questions at stake will capture public opinion and political support, and thereby win. So far, the war has been waged on four fronts: 1. Drugs vs. "social policy." Helms has stuck doggedly to a single issue: drugs. He points out that Weld favors legalizing marijuana for "medical purposes" (which conservatives place on the slippery slope toward complete legalization), favors providing addicts with clean needles (to prevent the spread of AIDS), and that he prosecuted few drug cases as a U.S. attorney. In short, says Helms, Weld is soft on drugs--the last thing we need in an ambassador to Mexico. Weld could reply that he had opposed California's medical-marijuana initiative because it was too lax, or that Helms is a pusher for tobacco, or that it might be a good idea to stop treating Mexico's drug problem as a "war." But Weld hasn't touched the drug question. How come? One rule of the frame game is to avoid issues on which you're guaranteed to lose. This isn't an Ivy League debating society, where you can win by ingeniously defending a difficult position. In politics, you're in deep trouble as soon as you question the war on drugs. This is particularly true if you're fighting for a job in the Clinton administration, where insecurity over the drug war runs high. Just ask Joycelyn Elders. Rather than answer Helms' charge, Weld shifted and broadened the conflict. On July 15, he called a press conference to declare: "Sen. Helms' opposition has nothing whatsoever to do with drug policy. It has everything to do with the future of the Republican Party. In plain language, I am not Sen. Helms' kind of Republican. I do not pass his litmus test on social policy. Nor do I want to." Overnight, the Weld-Helms standoff became a media sensation. This wasn't just about drugs, reporters concluded. It was about Helms' distaste for Weld's "moderate" views on social issues such as abortion. With that, the advantage swung to Weld. While Helms has the more popular position on drugs, Weld has the more popular position on abortion. Helms spokesman Marc Thiessen resisted this maneuver. He insisted Helms' concern was drugs, not ideology. The evidence backs Thiessen up: Helms supported pro-choice Republican Bill Cohen of Maine for secretary of defense, and has offered to confirm Weld as ambassador to a country without a major marijuana problem, such as India. But in the frame game, such petty facts are easily overwhelmed by larger themes. Weld's spin prevails, for several reasons. To begin with, Weld's argument fits nicely into the context of recent Republican infighting. Having come apart over foreign policy (trade with China) and fiscal policy (the House leadership coup), the Republicans seem ripe for a civil war over social policy. Furthermore, the Washington press corps never tires of writing about Republican troubles on abortion and gay rights--though Helms hasn't mentioned either issue in connection with Weld since the confirmation fight began. Above all, the press loves to personalize debates. Drug policy is boring, but a fight between a saucy blue blood and a surly redneck is fun. Helms wasn't even the first member of Congress to oppose Weld's nomination. Others who oppose Weld have pleaded that Helms isn't the point. It's a futile argument. Helms and his famous wedge issues are just too colorful. 2 Ideology vs. competence. Congressional Republicans who support Weld's nomination don't want their party torn asunder in the process. Their solution is to separate the question of Weld's ideology from his competence. They point out that he speaks Spanish, knows Mexico, and is smart and accomplished. "This is not about the heart and soul of the Republican Party," argued Rep. Chris Shays, R-Conn., in a TV debate July 28. "It's about whether this nominee is competent to serve in Mexico." Helms' supporters accept this distinction, because it subverts Weld's campaign to broaden the ideological confrontation. They argue that Weld's indifference toward the war on drugs has affected his competence as a law enforcer and will do so again if he becomes ambassador to Mexico. Weld, however, maintains the fight is about the party's soul, even as Republican moderates protest it isn't. The Helms/Shays argument (for a distinction between ideology and competence) is analytically more sophisticated but viscerally less compelling. Which means it will probably prevail in a confirmation hearing but lose in the court of public opinion, vanquished by Weld's campaign for libertarian martyrdom. In the frame game, nuance is almost always a loser. Remember, the last guy to argue for a distinction between ideology and competence was Michael Dukakis. Perversely, Weld lost the ideology/competence battle by winning the drugs/morality battle. Not only did he attack Helms July 15, but he deliberately embarrassed the White House--which had refrained from quarreling with Helms--by calling on Clinton to speak up for his confirmation. Weld's caustic apostasy handed his enemies a persuasive argument against his fitness for the job--that he's "undiplomatic." 3 Who started the fight? Every kid knows that when a parent catches you fighting with another kid, the first thing to do is accuse the other kid of starting it. Weld should have been able to play the victim, since Helms arguably started the fight by announcing in June that he would deny Weld a hearing. But Weld blew this moral advantage by attacking Helms July 15. It wasn't the first punch thrown, but it was the first one most people saw. This allowed Helms' spokesman to cast his boss as the victim. Senate Majority Leader Trent Lott, R-Miss., latched on to this as an excuse to side with Helms. Weld "hurt himself by attacking the chairman unfairly and with political rhetoric that was just uncalled for," Lott complained. Belatedly, Weld is trying to regain the moral high ground. On July 29, he pleaded: "Before I had ever met [Helms], before the man really knew anything about me, he said I was unfit to be ambassador, had loose lips, and was soft on drugs. And I said, 'Where does Jesse Helms get off saying all these mean things about me?' And people in Washington threw up their hands in alarm and said, 'My goodness, he attacked the chairman.' " Weld also has claimed to be a victim of Helms' "ideological extortion." The "ideological extortion" argument is particularly ingenious. Typically, extortion means that you're threatening someone with harm or embarrassment to extract a concession. Helms has no illusions that he can make Weld concede anything. His vow to kill Weld's nomination is a promise, not a threat. It's Weld who's trying to scare Republicans into supporting him, by threatening to turn his fight with Helms into an ideological civil war. His charge of "ideological extortion" is part of his ideological extortion. And it's succeeding. On Aug. 3, Sen. Dick Lugar, R-Ind., rescued Weld by demanding that he get a hearing, lest his jihad against Helms ignite "civil war in the Republican Party." 4 Substance vs. process. Having lost the advantage on fronts 2 and 3, Weld has opened a fourth, more promising front recently. He has stopped debating the substance of his quarrel with Helms, and has focused instead on his right to a hearing. At a July 28 press conference, Weld repeated his favorite question six times: "I'm going to be asking that one insistent question: Why should there not be a hearing? Why should one man, in a democracy, block the conduct of the people's business?" This new message helps Weld in the Senate, because it allows Republicans to defend him without exacerbating the party's internal conflicts. It certainly emboldened Lugar. "A Senate chairman cannot be dictatorial, ultimately, when a majority of the committee, a majority of the Senate, a majority of the American people, want action," Lugar said of Helms Aug. 3. Likewise, the procedural argument allows the White House to challenge Helms' obstinacy without appearing to foment the GOP's identity crisis. Clinton spokesman Mike McCurry, who had refused July 21 to comment on "matters in the other party," was so moved by Weld's new plea for a "fair hearing" that he repeated that phrase six times at his July 31 press briefing. But the true beauty of the "give him a hearing" argument is that it capitalizes on anti-Washington populism. In his July 28 press conference, Weld decried the "Washington rules" that allow a single senator to thwart the people's will by refusing to schedule a hearing. Framed this way, Weld's apostasy becomes a virtue instead of a vice, suggesting candor instead of a lack of diplomacy. Which player will win the game? Helms' allies say the nomination is doomed. They think Weld overlooked the game's cardinal rule: that Congress has its own rules, including the absolute power of committee chairmen over supplicants such as Weld. Why, he's not even a governor anymore, they scoff. He's just a lowly citizen. But maybe they're the ones who have misjudged the game. Maybe the era of Ross Perot, satellite feeds, and blast-faxes has ended the invisibility and the certainty of the congressional back-room kill. Maybe every political fight is a frame game now. Even if Citizen Weld can't reach Mexico, he can still reach America. And maybe that's been his game all along. Promise Keepers 1, NOW 0 On Oct. 4, hundreds of thousands of "Promise Keepers" assembled in Washington, D.C., to praise Jesus, repent their sins, and pledge to take charge of their families and communities. Nearby, protesters from the National Organization for Women chanted: "Racist, sexist, anti-gay! Born-again bigots, go away!" Usually, the media sympathize with this particular criticism of conservative Christians, but not this time. How did the Promise Keepers succeed where the religious right has often failed? By framing old stereotypes in new ways. 1. Control vs. responsibility. NOW's chief rap on PK is that it tells men to take "leadership" at home. This connotes unequal power, a no-no among rights-based liberals and feminists. But leadership has two sides. PK plays down the power aspect and plays up the opposite aspect: male responsibility for domestic tasks. This drives a wedge between communitarian and rights-based liberals, isolating NOW from its usual allies. PK also argues that the "biblical" (as opposed to "secular") meaning of leadership is service and that the Bible, while instructing wives to submit to their husbands, also instructs husbands to submit to their wives. This has led to the bizarre spectacle of scriptural debates on TV chat shows, in which PK spokesmen and NOW president Patricia Ireland argue chapter and verse. PK wins not by refuting Ireland's exegesis but by displaying subtlety in its own--by arguing, for example, that a true leader recognizes his wife's talents and takes the initiative to help them flourish. The viewer comes away persuaded that PK is much more open-minded than the Christian Coalition. Conversely, by showing no flexibility, Ireland comes across as though she's against the missionary position. 2 Misogyny vs. masculinity. Critics accuse PK leaders of crusading against "the feminization of man." True, they goad men to action by accusing them of acting like sissies. But they also teach that masculinity lies in moral strength, not in money, power, or stoicism. They preach vulnerability, humility, contrition, intimacy, sharing, weeping, tenderness, and surrender. They deride "machismo." Humility, they say, includes letting your wife pay the bills if God gave her better math skills than you and letting her pursue the professional dreams God planted in her. Which explains why Ted Koppel has compared PK founder Bill McCartney, a former football coach, to Alan Alda. 3. Segregation vs. self-help. As with Louis Farrakhan's Million Man March two years ago, feminists have assailed PK's "exclusion" of women. But McCartney frustrates this criticism by differing from Farrakhan in two ways. He has made racial inclusion a central project of PK, and he has stipulated that gender segregation must be a temporary means toward integrating and reconciling the sexes. McCartney's rationale for temporary segregation draws heavily on liberal themes. Men, he argues, have been culturally uprooted and stripped of their identity. They need space to protect and repair themselves. This argument combines the religious right's standard defensive posture (we're not imposing our values; we're just protecting them from assault) with liberal gender protectionism (e.g., girls should be educated separately from boys so as to free them from cultural pressure) and multiculturalism (men must preserve their unique masculine culture). According to Coach McCartney, women dominate church attendance and have their own Christian support groups, whereas PK is men's only refuge. Men won't open up and cry in women's presence because it's not "safe." They need the company of buddies to assure them of their masculinity so that they can break down without feeling like sissies. This message has induced some liberal pundits to call the Promise Keepers pathetic, thereby undermining NOW's portrayal of them as dangerous bullies. 4 Materialism vs. idealism. In politics, practical benefits usually beat principle. Most women feel less oppressed by their husbands' pretensions to authority than by the work that falls to them because of their husbands' neglect. PK leaders have won over many women and assuaged feminist pundits by addressing the latter problem. "Be first to the dryer," they tell men. "Turn off the television and empty the dishwasher." They instruct fathers to spend more time with their kids and to forswear adultery, abandonment, and domestic abuse. PK routinely embarrasses feminist critics by producing testimony from women who love the way PK has transformed their husbands' behavior. 5. Condemnation vs. compassion. Opponents make much ado of PK's injunctions against abortion and homosexuality. Ireland has lambasted McCartney for speaking at Operation Rescue rallies years ago and for promoting a Colorado ballot measure that would have restricted laws protecting gay rights. Usually, the media view these positions as mean, but PK leaders take a softer approach. They never speak of gays as an organized threat. And when asked about homosexuality, they always subsume it in a general rule against extramarital sex. 6 Reproach vs. repentance. For decades, feminists have criticized moral conservatives who blame women for untimely pregnancies and abortions. Now along comes PK to blame men. Instead of advocating legislation against abortion, PK instructs men to stop having sex outside marriage and to stop pressuring their wives and girlfriends to have abortions. To critics who construe this as an attack on abortion rights, PK's defenders paraphrase the liberal slogan that NOW famously applied to abortion: "If you don't like Promise Keepers, don't marry one." The Promise Keepers talk far less about abortion and homosexuality than their critics and the media do. They're more interested in spiritual self-flagellation and renewal. Their ventures into social topics focus on alcohol, drugs, domestic violence, adultery, divorce, illegitimacy, crime, and urban decay. 7 Puppets vs. persons. NOW accuses PK of being too friendly with the bad boys of the religious right: media mogul James Dobson (who gave PK its initial seed money and promotes it on his radio network), Pat Robertson (who promotes PK on television), and Gary Bauer (who heads the Dobson-backed Family Research Council). PK denies engaging in politics with these men, but Ireland says PK is acting as their "religious-right marketing tool." Far from protecting PK's reputation, the boys keep trying to get inside its blouse. PK President Randy Phillips urged men at the Washington assembly to set aside politics and focus on God, but Operation Rescue and the FRC showed up to distribute pamphlets. The FRC invited the men to sign petitions for the Partial-Birth Abortion Ban, thereby adding their names to its political database. Others who have signed up for PK have subsequently turned up on Republican mailing lists. 8 Imperialism vs. enlightenment. Even if PK isn't in bed with the religious right, many liberals predict that its commitment to restore traditional morality will inevitably draw it into right-wing politics. The group's military culture plays into this indictment, as do Coach McCartney's hideous sports metaphors. Men, he says, have "dropped the ball." They need a "halftime" pep talk and a new "game plan." They must defend morality "like offensive linemen protecting the quarterback." Many of the group's speakers and supporters are prone to using Christian war metaphors: "battleground," "army of God," "civil war of values." This kind of talk spooks most folks. PK spokesmen emphatically deny a political agenda. They describe the group as a "revival movement" aimed at changing hearts, not a "reform movement" aimed at changing laws. They point out that they postponed the Washington assembly from 1996 to 1997 to avoid getting embroiled in last year's election. Unlike the Christian Coalition, they don't keep a membership list, and they expect to disband when God decides that PK's revival mission is complete. In this dispute, tone matters more than content. PK needs to show less of its macho side and more of its sensitive side. So its leaders have begun to play down the war metaphors. They have turned the other cheek to NOW's attacks. In Washington, they asked the assembled men to pray for the country's political leaders instead of judging them. They have also instructed the Promise Keepers to seek civic assignments from their local pastors, not from the movement's elite. "We stop short of prescribing what that agenda should be, because it's beyond our competence," says PK's vice president. By projecting this kind of humility, PK puts its critics in the posture of aggressors. Ireland's hair-trigger charges of intolerance have backfired, convincing the media that NOW is intolerant. Ireland persistently denounces PK for "excluding anyone who is not Christian"--roughly equivalent to denouncing a synagogue for confining its membership to Jews. NOW's objections to the PK lifestyle have prompted some journalists to question where NOW gets off second-guessing women who embrace that lifestyle. By now, it's clear who has won the war. Many feminists, including the president of the Ms. Foundation, have expressed sympathy for the Promise Keepers and an interest in coaxing them toward gender equality rather than opposing them. NOW's vice president, in retreat, says NOW was only trying to "educate" people that PK isn't purely benign. Ireland complains that PK spokesmen won the war because they're "slick," like Ralph Reed. Actually, they won because they aren't. They admit ignorance and error. They answer no-win questions. They listen to criticism and openly contemplate changing their ways. If they were selling anything but integrity, they'd be a disaster. No. 235: "Pork Quoi?" A big half-page ad running in many papers today features a photo of four piglets vigorously suckling a sow's teats. An ad for what? Send your answer by noon ET Tuesday to newsquiz@slate.com . Thursday's Question (No. 234)--"I Can't Kuwait": You give the lead, I give the headline from the Kuwait Times : "Tips To Reduce 'Burden' of Students." "Hussein could hardly believe his ears. 'You'll give me half a dinar a month?' the 13-year-old Palestinian said. 'And all I have to do is your son's homework?' " -- James Poniewozik "Offering controversial advice to overwhelmed teachers, the NRA unveiled a new motto: 'It's not a setback, it's an opportunity.' "-- Daniel Radosh "Koran Cliff's Notes now available."-- Al Petrosky "In an effort to give young students more time to study, Kuwait City officials today began enrolling women in the 'Carry Your Sons to Class' program."-- Bill Cavanaugh "In a new twist on the controversial practice of 'redeeming' Sudanese slaves from bondage, Kuwait's education minister is proposing to buy up the whole inventory in order to provide every Kuwaiti high-school student with a personal bearer. 'You wouldn't believe how heavy those backpacks are,' he told a reporter. 'No wonder test scores are down.' "-- Katha Pollitt Click for more answers. Randy's Wrap-Up Why Even Bother To Read the Paper II: If you've ever attended an event that was covered in the press--a ball game, a demonstration, a series of seemingly motiveless break-ins at Tom Cruise's house--you know how little the newspaper version resembles your experience. Oh, it often gets the least important things right, the facts, the small "t" truth. But the tone, the texture, the feel of the event is never correct, and that's where you find the capital "T" truth. Here's how Dr. Johnson put a similar problem, on April 18, 1775: "We must consider how very little history there is; I mean real authentick history. That certain Kings reigned, and certain battles were fought, we can depend upon as true; but all the colouring, all the philosophy, of history is conjecture." To more vividly convey that coloring, many newspapers encourage their reporters to wield the tools of the novelist, opening a story with an evocative detail, such as these leads, both from the front of today's New York Times : "Ana Estela Lopeze dreamed of saving enough money to return to El Salvador to open a clothing store and build a three-bedroom house"; and "Rani, an illiterate woman from the washermen's caste, changed into her prettiest sari one recent morning." When this technique works, you get a powerful story, albeit one whose subject is not revealed until around the third paragraph. When it doesn't, you get Rick Bragg and a queasy feeling in your stomach. And when both news and coloring are avoided, you get the Kuwait Times and a nice afternoon nap. Unburdened Answer "KUWAIT--Experts have advised children to stick to their daily timetable and carry only those books needed for the day besides taking extra care to sit straight while studying. This advice is significant taking into consideration the fact that children of today are faced with a pressing problem--backaches. The culprit here is the school bag which every student carries to the school crammed with books and they end up with various back-related problems, such as backaches or backbone injuries. Addressing a issue of such importance concerning the younger ones of society, Kuwait Times met with a number of experts and sought their opinion." My favorite expert opinion comes from Dr. Dina Al-Refai, family medicine expert: "All these aches may instill in the child a hatred towards the school and finally have a negative impact on his academic performance, she remarked." Andrew Staples' Kuwaiti Fun Facts Extra From the State Department's Annual Human Rights Report, Feb. 26, 1999: Amirs, or princes, from the Al-Sabah family have ruled Kuwait in consultation with prominent community figures for over 200 years. The Constitution, adopted in 1962 shortly after independence, provides for an elected National Assembly. It also permits the Amir to suspend its articles during periods of martial law. The Amir twice suspended constitutional provisions, from 1976 to 1981 and from 1986 to 1992, and ruled extraconstitutionally during these periods. Citizens cannot change their head of state. The government bans formal political parties, and women do not have the right to vote or seek election to the National Assembly. According to government statistics, 92 percent of the indigenous work force is employed by the government. Foreigners constitute 98 percent of the private sector work force. Domestic servants are not protected by the Labor Law, and unskilled foreign workers suffer from the lack of a minimum wage in the private sector and from failure to enforce the Labor Law. Males must obtain government approval to marry foreign-born women. The government restricts freedom of assembly and association. Public gatherings must receive prior government approval, as must private gatherings of more than five persons that result in the issuance of a public statement. Really, a country worth going to war for ... Common Denominator Kuwaitis are rich lay-abouts waited on by impoverished foreigners. No. 236: "Tragedy Plus Time Minus Taste" Columbine students resumed classes Monday at nearby Chatfield High School. Many wore white T-shirts imprinted on the front with "We Are ..." and on the back ... what? Send your answer by noon ET Wednesday to newsquiz@slate.com . Monday's Question (No. 235) "Pork Quoi?": A big half-page ad running in many papers today features a photo of four piglets vigorously suckling a sow's teats. An ad for what? "A law firm specializing in medical malpractice suits (photo is of Pamela Anderson)."-- Ellen Macleay "The Montreal Expos' all-new, low-budget 'farm' system."-- Neal Pollack "I don't know, but Michael Medved's CONVINCED that this ad directly leads to school shootings."-- Andrew Milner "Bob Barr's 'Open Letter' tribute to the NRA."-- Richard Nikonovich-Kahn ( Barry Johnson had a similar answer.) "Got Pig? The other white milk."-- Steve Joynt (similarly, Bruce Oberg , James Poniewozik , Bjorn , and Steven Davis ) Click for more answers. Randy's Wrap-Up To most participants, the pig symbolizes greed. None associated the pig with its traditional attributes, dirty or foul smelling. None exploited "pig" as an epithet for policeman. There were no pigs in pokes, no when pigs fly, no in a pig's ear, no Pigmeat Markham, no pork salad Annie, no Gadarene swine, no Piggly Wiggly, no E. B. White's Wilbur, no there in the wood the piggy-wig stood. No three littles. No pearls before. No turning men into. How did we lose our rich tradition of porcine references? Did it all go wrong when we left the farm? Many's the happy hour we spent by the sty, a volume of Greek mythology in our trotters, contemplating the particularly rank aroma of our enemies. Well, we're city folk now, and our foes wear deodorant. And carry Prada bags. Made of ... oh, my lord! No! Perhaps the pig has always been a comical animal because it's so much like us--a college graduate with 2.3 children, yacking away on a cell phone while it's stuck in traffic in its rotten SUV. OK, bad example. But pigs can pretty much eat everything we do. An ecological theory of the kosher laws suggests that they're meant to proscribe animals who'd compete with us for the foods we need. This theory is a little hazy about lobsters. Who, by the way, can also be made into a durable and attractive handbag. If you eat a whole lot of lobster, people will call you a pig. But not the other way around. Lobsters: not funny. Pigs: funny. A pig dancing with a monkey: hysterical. Porcine on the Dotted Line Answer The copy reads: "After all she's done for you, doesn't mom deserve flowers for Mother's Day, and to be compared to a barnyard animal?" except for the final phrase, which is merely implicit. It's an ad for an online flower service. In a curious bit of marketing, the offer of $10 off on Mother's Day flowers doesn't expire until July 31. So, buy your mom something nice, eventually, when you get around to it. Tim Carvell's American Highways Extra Since moving to Los Angeles, I've noticed that about every tenth car has a vanity plate. People want the world to know their names (HERMAN), their tastes (BLU MNMS), their dreams (KRE8 IT). And sometimes it seems they just want to confuse you. (I've puzzled over SHAKYPL for long stretches of freeway. Why pay $40 so your car can say SHAKYPL?) At the California Department of Motor Vehicles' vanity-plate-availability site, you can input a plate, and see if it's already taken. Hence the following quiz: Which of the following plates have been spoken for, and which are still up for grabs? 1. UNIQUE 2. UNIQUE 2 3. MANLY 4. BIGOT 5. RACIST 6. 4SKIN 7. HERPES 8. MARILU H 9. SATAN 10. BOBDOLE 11. MANSON 12. KINSLEY 13. YUGO 14. NEWSQIZ 15. UGLY 16. GOYZ 17. BEDWETR 18. DIANETX 19. LIAR 20. ANORXIC Answers Both UNIQUE and UNIQUE2 have been claimed, which is just sad ("I'd like my plate to read UNIQUE. Oh, it's taken. Well, then how about UNIQUE2?"). MANLY is available for at least as long as it takes me to get to the DMV. BIGOT is taken, RACIST is not. Go figure. 4SKIN is taken; HERPES, oddly, remains available. MARILU H, SATAN, and BOBDOLE have all been claimed, although the site doesn't specify by whom. MANSON and KINSLEY are both still available. YUGO is taken, NEWSQIZ is still up for grabs, as is UGLY. GOYZ and BEDWETR are both taken, which means that somewhere out there there's a car being driven by an unashamed incontinent person. And, finally, depsite what you might expect for a state that's home to the entertainment industry, DIANETX, LIAR, and ANORXIC remain unclaimed. Common Denominator Kosher and its discontents, Babe, "Got Milk?" This Time It's for Real Every time something really bad happens, Americans seem to lose their innocence all over again. So too are the tabloids, ever hopeful about the promise of celebrity love, constantly made cynical by its failure. But who wouldn't be moved by the stirring vows famous people incessantly exchange? Take this account in the Globe of the wedding of Frasier star Kelsey Grammer--his third. "Wildman Kelsey Grammer made a touching vow of eternal love to his [ Playboy pinup] bride Camille Donatacci at a tender wedding filled with romance and roses--that cost a whopping $450,000." Talk-show host Larry King had two beautiful weddings to infomercial host Shawn Southwick--one in his hospital bed, while awaiting heart surgery, and one post-angioplasty in Beverly Hills. According to the National Enquirer , so sure is King that he has found "the love of his life" with his seventh wife that he ignored the advice of his daughter and his financial advisers to get a prenuptial agreement. This week's Star takes us inside former Golden Girl Rue McLanahan's "Fairytale Wedding to Hubby #6." She says, "We both feel that we've met the soulmates that we've been searching for." Then there was Kenny Rogers' moving promise to his fifth bride that a friend of the singer's reported to the Enquirer : "I'm going to make this work no matter what!" Of Rogers' waltzing with his 28-years-younger new wife one guest told the publication, "It looked like a Father-Daughter Day Dance at a high school." And former Charlie's Angel Jaclyn Smith shed tears of joy at her fourth wedding, according to the Enquirer , promising all her guests, "This one is forever." Though the tabs are fools for love, occasionally even they find a wedding not touching but tawdry. That is how the marriage between Woody Allen and Soon-Yi Previn, daughter of Woody's former lover Mia Farrow, was portrayed this week. While Allen calls the wedding, which makes him Farrow's son-in-law, a "wonderful thing," Farrow family spokesman Dr. Stephen Herman, a child psychiatrist, is quoted in the Globe as denouncing it: "rude, nasty and most of all, it's a reflection of his own narcissism." Sometimes, the tabs report, the wedding day leads right to the divorce lawyer's payday. According to an account in the Star , country singer Tracy Lawrence's marriage to a former Dallas Cowboys cheerleader "began to deteriorate soon after her fairy-tale wedding." For his wife, Stacie, it ended when he beat her up following a concert--Las Vegas police charged him with battery. It legally began to unravel when he had her served with divorce papers while she was returning home from a CAT scan to assess her injuries. In the case of actress Robin Givens, Mike Tyson's ex, her wedding day actually was the only day of her marriage to Yugoslavian tennis player Svetozar Marinkovic, according to last week's Globe . At a party after the ceremony she reportedly announced, "Svetozar is the man of my dreams and I plan to spend the rest of my life with him." Since Givens did not pass away during the night, her prediction was not to be. The Globe says that in her divorce papers, she revealed the couple separated the day they married. This unwritten rule also emerges from the tabs: The more elaborate the wedding, the greater the trouble ahead. Take the saga of actress Geena Davis and her third husband, director Renny Harlin. According to the Globe , their wedding was a $1 million extravaganza. As a wedding present, Davis had the name "Renny" and a picture of Cupid tattooed on her leg. However, this week's Enquirer reveals there's only a patch of very white skin where Cupid and "Renny" used to be. As a friend of the couple's told the Globe , "Renny was Hollywood's biggest playboy while he was married to Geena." That assessment was borne out when, the Globe reveals, it turns out that Davis' personal assistant, Tiffany Bowne, returned to her family in Arizona not for some R&R but to have Harlin's child. This only proves another unwritten rule: Never, ever hire a personal assistant named Tiffany. Kelsey Grammer and his wife are still together after their lavish wedding (the pastry chef was flown in from Denmark, says the Star ), but all the tabloids have taken to chronicling their bumpy road to bliss. While exchanging vows, Grammer was so overcome that he burst into tears. "Excuse me, I'm so happy!" he said, according to the Globe . However, the next morning, the Star alleges, he was calling friends, asking, "What have I done?" after both he and his wife took turns storming out of their room at the Bel-Air Hotel. They made up in time to leave for their Caribbean honeymoon, the Star says. But there was another jolt, reports the Enquirer , when he opened her wedding gift to him: a Stairmaster. "You're fat and I hate fat men," she told him. Recently, says the Enquirer , Grammer has been lobbying Frasier 's producers to give his wife a part on the show because she's so bored while he's at work. Let's hope she doesn't decide to get a tattoo. Then there are the marriages that are giving readers whiplash--most prominently those of singer Michael Jackson and Debbie Rowe, his dermatologist's former receptionist; and talk-show host Kathie Lee Gifford and her sportscaster husband, Frank. This week the Enquirer made news with the revelation that Lisa Marie Presley, Elvis' daughter and Jackson's former wife, confided to her uncle, a minister, that she had found evidence during her marriage--which was never consummated, according to the story--that Jackson was sexually interested in boys. The uncle, the Rev. Rick Stanley, went public because of a recent report in the tabloids that Jackson and Presley have traveled the world together--with her young children by another marriage--even as Rowe is pregnant with the singer's second child. According to the Enquirer , Rowe said to a friend, "I told Michael that I would share him with Lisa Marie." She'll have to if the Star is accurate when it reports that Jackson has talked about Rowe serving as a surrogate mother for a child artificially conceived between Jackson and Presley. "He's convinced they could create the next Elvis," says the Star . On the Gifford front, the Enquirer , in what it calls "A Tender Love Story," has Kathie Lee advising "skirtchasing" Kevin Costner to reconcile with his ex-wife. The counseling sessions gave her new hope that "she can reignite the flames of passion with her own hubby." But according to the Globe , which helped douse the Gifford marriage when it videotaped the sportscaster's tryst with an unnaturally well-endowed former flight attendant, the flame is out. "Kathie Lee to Divorce Frank!" predicted a recent cover. The Star , meanwhile, is hedging its bets. It reported last week that Kathie Lee is planning to get breast implants "to save her self-esteem--and maybe her marriage." But the publication also says that she is recording a blues album, all the better to "[rub] her martyrdom in the face of her errant husband." Many celebrity marriages could be called Ponce de Len unions. Take the wedding of Anthony Quinn, 82, to his former secretary, Kathy Benvin, 35, the mother of his two young children. A guest told the Star that after the ceremony, Quinn launched into his Zorba the Greek dance. "You could see him growing younger before your very eyes." When William Shatner, 66, married Nerine Kidd, 37, he told a friend, according to the Globe : "She is my fountain of youth. ... Her love energizes me." It's fortunate she is not his sole source of energy--the Star reports she had canceled their wedding plans three times previously. But having to constantly administer youth serum can send a spouse fleeing into the arms of someone who actually is young. Take the case of actor Rod Steiger, 72. He discovered that his wife, 38, was discussing more than drywall with their married contractor, 40, when the pair was photographed by the Globe . The publication seems to have a sort of social consciousness about not letting celebrities suffer the delusion that they are happily married. Then again, the tabloids have to give credit when love proves the cynics wrong. That's what the Globe had to do last week for actress Bo Derek and her director husband, John. When they married 20 years ago, the Globe reports, people said it wouldn't last. But they showed what true love is when Bo took over John's medical care and for seven weeks forced him to drink gallons of water to flush out stubborn kidney stones. Concludes the Globe : "She's more than a perfect 10!" Marriage, Death, and Leo President Clinton disappears from the tabloids this month as they return to their classic themes: lousy marriages, loss, licentiousness, and Leo. The Globe , the Star , and the National Enquirer all agree the 10-month marriage of Titanic director James Cameron and Terminator actress Linda Hamilton--his fourth--is over. There appear to be two reasons: 1) his continuing affair with Titanic actress Suzy Amis and 2) according to the Globe , Hamilton's realization--along with the billion people who watched the Academy Awards--that he's a "jerk." Cameron and Hamilton were an ex-couple (they have a 5-year-old daughter) when they suddenly married last year. It's usually a bad sign when, as the Star reports, your friends are more surprised by your wedding than by your separation. The marriage permanently unraveled, says the Globe , when the director moved out of his marital home a day after he was spotted making out with Amis in his Humvee. Ah, romance! Most shocking of all is the Enquirer 's assertion that Hamilton did not sign a prenuptial agreement. According to the Star , the actress wants half of the director's Titanic earnings, which could be $100 million. Enough money for a B-2 bomber is also at stake in the marital woes of Home Improvement star Tim Allen. Last week the tabs were reporting that if the sitcom star did not go into rehab, his wife of 14 years, Laura, was going to leave him. This week he is in rehab and, says the Star , his wife wants out anyway. For Allen's part, according to the Enquirer , his stay at Promises rehab center in Malibu (where Christian Slater is another guest) has made him realize he wants out. If one of them gets their wish it could make a big dent in what the Star estimates is a $110 million fortune. The tabs leave the impression that the Promises counseling sessions are patched directly into their newsrooms. According to the Enquirer Allen said part of the reason he is having so many problems right now is that he is unhappily married. The publication says he's asked his wife not to come for the Saturday family picnic. But he has had one special visitor, says the Star : his lawyer. There are mixed signals about the state of the marriage of newlyweds actress Sharon Stone and San Francisco Examiner Executive Editor Phil Bronstein. According to the Star , when they're together in their L.A. home, they make love incessantly. "From the kitchen to the garage, they've christened practically every room." Maybe a session in the broom closet killed their passion because, according to the Enquirer , "the honeymoon is over." Stone wants her husband to give up his job and work in Hollywood, but he "hates the Hollywood scene," reports the publication. He has also "fumed to friends, 'There's no way I am going to give up my life and become a Hollywood trophy husband.' " This has left some friends with no option but to start "taking bets on how long the marriage lasts." The deaths of Linda McCartney and Tammy Wynette were widely covered by the rest of the press, but one of the tabloids' special missions is to give you celebrities' final words and farewells. The tabs were certainly taken in by Paul McCartney's subterfuge about where his wife spent her last days. To protect the family's privacy, a spokesman told the press she'd died in Santa Barbara, Calif., when she actually died at a ranch the family owns in Arizona. So it seems unlikely that, at the end of her life, she said, as the Enquirer reports, "I want to smell the Pacific," or that an "insider" saw her there. McCartney issued a statement saying he held his wife in her final moments and told her they were riding horses together on a fine spring day. Linda "closed her eyes and gently slipped away." The Enquirer preferred that her life end this way: Linda whispered to Paul, "I love you. I want you to be brave. We'll meet again to continue our love affair." The Star had its own version of her parting words. " 'Give me one last kiss,' Linda weakly begged Paul minutes before she closed her eyes for the last time. 'I won't leave you,' he whispered. 'I'll always love you.' " The Star , too, had her dying in Santa Barbara, although its own reporting turned up a neighbor in Arizona who said the family was on its ranch shortly before her death. The Globe also fell for the Santa Barbara story, and it has the most florid deathbed scene. " 'There is no woman on earth who can take your place,' sources say a heartbroken Paul McCartney sobbed to his dying wife Linda as he tenderly clutched her hand. 'I will never marry again.' " It seems unlikely Linda would have wanted, or Paul have made, such a promise. (It is a vow Thomas Jefferson did make to his dying wife. Keeping it may have led to the situation with that woman Miss Hemmings.) Matrimony was also very much a part of the tabs' coverage of the death of country singer Wynette. Although she was only 55 when she died, she managed to cram in five marriages. Her first was to one Euple Byrd, who, reports the Star , when she drove off to Nashville to become a singer, shouted after her: "Dream on! Dream on!" Years later, when Wynette was signing autographs after one of her concerts, there was Byrd, standing in line. She turned his picture of her over and signed on the back, "Dream on! Dream on! Love, Tammy." There probably aren't many fifth marriages that last 20 years, but Wynette's did. Her last husband, and manager, George Richey, was more than overcome by her death. At the funeral home the night after she died, reports the Star , "He ran up to the casket and tried to lift Tammy right out of it, saying, 'Come on honey, I'm taking you home.' " During her funeral, the Star says, "he lunged from his front pew--and tearfully wrapped his arms around the flower-strewn casket of his wife." All this led a friend to conclude, reports the Globe , "He won't be long behind his beloved Tammy." On the sex front, nonpresidential illicit encounters are all the tabs can muster this month. The Globe has an interview with the 14-year-old boy who at age 12 became the lover of the most reviled teacher in America, Mary Kay LeTourneau. LeTourneau, 36, is back in jail, pregnant a second time by the teen-ager--their daughter is now a year old. LeTourneau was the boy's teacher in both second and sixth grades, and he describes their relationship thus: "When I was six or seven, she encouraged me in my drawing. ... We were friends. But my feelings toward Mary became more romantic when I reached the 6 th grade." Yessiree. It seems the teacher could have taught Stone and Bronstein a thing or two: The boy describes how they "made love in nearly every room of her home while her husband Steve was away. At night we sometimes had sex outside on the deck--and even in a swing hanging from a tree in her front yard." Just when you start thinking private school vouchers would curb such situations, the Globe throws you a curve. The tabloid interviews 81-year-old actor Kirk Douglas, who reveals that his English teacher seduced him when he was 14. "Mrs. Livingston changed my life," he says. She introduced Douglas not only to sex but also to poetry. He says she gave him the confidence to be an actor, and he ended up helping to support her at the end of her life. The Star covers George Michael's arrest for exposing himself in a men's room at Los Angeles' Will Rogers Memorial Park as if it's writing a review. A "close friend" of the singer says: "He's a performer through and through. But he needs help." The arrest--and Michael's subsequent acknowledgment of his homosexuality--did give the Globe the opportunity to print pictures it had from last year of Michael cruising the same park. And both the Globe and the Enquirer note Rogers' most famous quotation: "I never met a man I didn't like." The Enquirer also helpfully contacted Earl Goss, the father of Michael's current live-in lover, Kenny Goss. The heartfelt but likely ineffective reaction from Goss Sr., who lives in Coleman, Texas, was, "I've got to talk to Kenny and sort this out. Kenny needs to come back home to Texas." Finally, the tabs deliver on their implicit promise to reveal every stray fact about Leonardo DiCaprio. Since the actor is only 23, this means scouring a rather meager past. So we learn from the Globe that as a 14-year-old he took classmate Cecilia Garcia out on a date. She recalls: "He looked in my eyes, put his arm around me and kissed me on the lips. It was a dry, short peck and it felt weird." Perhaps Leo later had a helpful English teacher: According to the account in the Star of more a recent former girlfriend, swimsuit model Kristen Zang, "he's a terrific kisser on top of everything else." But what he's not, the Globe documents, is a terrific spaghetti eater. A series of photos shot through a restaurant window shows the Titanic star slurping up his pasta. He obviously needs the carbohydrates. According to the Star , Leo was romancing model Kate Moss, but she dumped him when she learned he had cheated on her with another model. But, the Enquirer reported, Leo has turned his interest from model Naomi Campbell to Cuban model Carla Paneka. It's probably lucky that, according to the Enquirer , Leo was rebuffed by "Baby Spice" Emma Bunton while he was in London. All this has led to Leo now finding his life "a living hell," the Enquirer says. So he is taking the next step every young star must take. That is, talking about going to India to work with Mother Teresa's Missionaries of Charity. Says Mother Teresa's successor, Sister Nirmala, to the Enquirer , "Of course we would welcome Leonardo! The door is always open." No. 3 By Randy Cohen I give the answer; you give the question and identify the speaker: "Well, I think it's obvious that I haven't looked for a way out here; what I've looked for is a way forward." by noon ET on Wednesday to e-mail your answer (NewsQuiz@slate.com). Responses to Monday's Question (No. 2)--"Taste Makers": Fill in the blank: Buffy Shutt, president of marketing at Universal Pictures, told a New York Times reporter, "By sheer bulk, the _______________ are driving cultural tastes now. They're amazing consumers." "Special prosecutors."-- Chris Kelly ( Andrew Milner had a similar answer) "LEETLE GIRLS. And, as a side note, I'm taking Buffy Shutt as my new porn name."-- Beth Sherman "Producers I've slept with who then go right to grain alcohol."-- Bill Franzen "McCaugheys? (Actually, is it the teen-age girl audience? Just a hunch.)"-- Meg Wolitzer (similarly, Josh Gillette ) "International banking conspirators of the Zionist Operated Government soon to be brought low by my military-grade anthrax; soon that nest of seething pervs, that island of sin called Manhattan, will see its Hudson and East rivers run with blood and ... what? Oh, sorry, wrong Web page."-- David Rakoff " 'The pendulous testicles of aging comedian Milton Berle ...' Although the real answer may be: 1) America's teen-agers; 2) financially independent lipstick lesbians; or 3) roving bands of youths--I refuse to give a legitmate response to any 'fill-in-the-blanks' that involve any human being named 'Buffy Shutt.' "-- Larry Amoros "The Spice Girls."-- Barbara Lippert "The Right Wing Conspiracy Nut Moms."-- Jon Hotchkiss "Olestra-shunning fat teen-agers of America. (Think about it: If you can't read, what else are you going to do but eat?)"-- Nancy Franklin "Clinton defense lawyers."-- Dennis Doughty "People who have had sex with Bill Clinton and been bought off with a job."-- Alan Stewart Randy's Wrap-Up: Your contempt for American taste is as bracing as a splash of Old Spice, now with real buttery flavor. Thank heaven for Beth Sherman (same initials as Buffy Shutt: suspicious?), who clearly knows--as did several of you--that American taste is in the hands of teen-age girls. This accounts for the popularity of Hanson; Leonardo DiCaprio and Ally McBeal ; and that new MTV Mutual Fund, the one with the adorable drawings of ponies on the prospectus. That's why, as a campaign manager, I advise my candidates to be sexually unthreatening, have very little body hair, and possess voices that can effortlessly lift an inoffensive pop tune well into the soprano register. Which perhaps explains the success of New York Sen. Al D'Amato (if you accept a bald head as a substitute for a bare chest). "Taste Makers" True-Life Hollywood Answer: "young girls" Buffy Shutt was offering the Hollywood consensus that teen-age girls are becoming the dominant force influencing the success of movies. Unlike teen-age boys, who go to a movie once with a friend or two, girls often see the same film many times, and frequently attend in groups. Disclaimer: All submissions will become the property of Slate and will be published at Slate 's discretion. Slate may publish your name on its site in connection with your submission. Excuses, Excuses Last August, after finally admitting to Independent Counsel Kenneth Starr's grand jury that he had carried on and covered up an inappropriate relationship with Monica Lewinsky, President Clinton went on national TV to apologize. He began by calling his behavior "wrong" and taking "complete responsibility" for it. But within seconds, Clinton tarnished his apology by lapsing into excuses, self-justifications, and blame-shifting. This week, as he tries to explain NATO's bombing of the Chinese Embassy in Belgrade, he's doing the same thing. How did the bombing happen? According to Secretary of Defense William Cohen, NATO "attacked the wrong target because the bombing instructions were based on an outdated map," which "inaccurately located the embassy in a different part of Belgrade." Henceforth, said Cohen, "the State Department will report to the intelligence community whenever foreign embassies move." In other words, people in the U.S. government who knew the embassy had moved hadn't bothered to tell their colleagues who were deciding which buildings to bomb. There's nothing for the United States to say about this except that we perpetrated a moral outrage through inexcusable stupidity and recklessness. But as usual, Clinton is finding plenty of other things to say. 1) I've already apologized. Last year, when asked to apologize, Clinton repeatedly insisted that he had already done so. But saying you have already apologized is the opposite of apologizing. The latter is a way of accepting criticism; the former is a way of deflecting it. Saturday, in his initial remarks about the bombing, Clinton expressed "regret" and "condolences" to China but never used the word "apologize." Two days later, he declared, "I have already expressed our apology." When asked about American responsibility for the tragedy, Cohen, Secretary of State Madeleine Albright, and State Department spokesman Jamie Rubin reiterated that Clinton had already "apologized." 2) My actions were minimal. In his speech last August, Clinton used weasel words and passive verbs to minimize his deceit. "While my answers were legally accurate, I did not volunteer information," he allowed. "My public comments and my silence about this matter gave a false impression." To minimize this week's embassy bombing, Clinton called it a "mistake," "accident," and "tragic event" (other U.S. officials called it "regrettable" and an "error" entailing "loss of life"). Clinton used the passive voice to obscure his responsibility ("the Chinese Embassy was inadvertently damaged and people lost their lives") and offered good intentions as an excuse ("We're doing everything that we can to avoid innocent civilian casualties"). 3) Everybody does it. In 1992, Clinton smothered questions about his adultery by confessing to "causing pain in my marriage," refusing to say more, and pointing out that many American couples were in a similar position. In his August 1998 speech, he offered the same defense. Likewise, Clinton suggested this week that in war the occasional embassy bombing is to be expected. "This will happen if you drop this much [ordnance]," he argued Saturday. Cohen echoed that line Monday ("In combat, accidents will happen"), as did White House spokesman Joe Lockhart ("Mistakes happen"). 4) It's the economy, stupid. Unable to convince Americans last year that he was truly sorry for offending their values, Clinton appealed instead to their material interests, vowing incessantly to "keep working for the American people." This week, having bombed the Chinese Embassy, Clinton is making a similar appeal to China's prudence. On Monday, he reminded China of his "commitment to strengthen our relationship," while Albright and Lockhart emphasized that "good relations are manifestly in the interest of both nations" and that "a broad-based relationship ... serves both our interests." 5) It's my enemy's fault. Clinton ruined his speech last August by blaming Starr and Paula Jones' lawyers for forcing him to shade the truth to fend off Starr's investigation, which had "gone on too long, cost too much, and hurt too many innocent people." This week, Clinton again buried his apology under a recitation of his enemy's wrongs. He even used the same word--"proportion"--to deflect scrutiny. "We need some sense of proportion" in evaluating the bombing, Clinton pleaded. "This was an isolated, tragic event, while the ethnic cleansing of Kosovo ... is a deliberate and systematic crime." Albright, Rubin, and other U.S. officials reasserted that distinction, and Defense Department spokesman Ken Bacon pointed out that the other guy started the fight: "This was not a fight that NATO sought. It was a fight that could have been avoided, but Mr. Milosevic decided not to avoid it." It's true that the Serbs' crimes dwarf NATO's in scale and malice. It's true that China's financial interests are best served by stifling its anger. It's true that wars always cause unintended civilian casualties. It's true that NATO is trying to avoid such casualties. And it's true that Clinton has apologized. These are all perfectly good spins. But the point of an apology is to accept responsibility for what you did and otherwise to shut up. To apologize, in short, is to abstain from spin--one of the few feats of which Clinton seems incapable. Photograph on Table of Contents by Sasa Stankovic/AFP. The Death of the Show Tune In the run-up to the 1991 Broadway hit The Will Rogers Follies , composer Cy Coleman took to doing the big song--"Never Met a Man I Didn't Like"--at benefit performances all over town. Just before opening night, he sang it at the Eye, Ear, and Throat Hospital. "You should have seen him," said his lyricist, Adolph Green. "There wasn't a dry eye, ear, and throat in the house." But where else would you hear the song? "Years ago, we used to have records of our stuff on the radio before the show opened," Cy sighs. Not anymore. When did you last hear a show tune on the air? I don't mean Natalie Cole doing Rodgers and Hart, but new Broadway numbers--from, say, Big or Victor/Victoria . The last Broadway song to make the charts was Gloria Gaynor's disco version of "I Am What I Am" from La Cage Aux Folles , and she had to change a few of Jerry Herman's notes to pull that off. Before rock, the theater song sat at the apex of popular music; the most famous songwriters were show writers, and the pop boys--the Tin Pan Alleymen--longed to cross the tracks, as Irving Berlin did, and George Gershwin, Jule Styne, Frank Loesser. But Bill Haley and Elvis painted Broadway into a corner it never quite got out of: Musicals stood aloof from rock and became, by definition, staid, conservative, middle-aged--something your parents go see on their wedding anniversary. Never mind that on Broadway, in 1948, long before "Rock Around the Clock," the score to As the Girls Go by old-timers Jimmy ("Sunny Side of the Street") McHugh and Harold ("Time on My Hands") Adamson included a number called "Rock! Rock! Rock!" with the tempo marking "Groovy." Now David Geffen figures he can bridge that 40-year gulf. Rent , launched at the Democratic Convention and including a guest appearance by Stevie Wonder on its Act II opener, is supposed to be a cast album you can play on pop radio stations. As every New York Times reader knows, Rent is a Pulitzer- and Tony-winning "rock opera" version of La Bohme , with a dramatis personae of HIV-positive performance artists, transsexuals, and drug addicts from the East Village, whose cachet was greatly enhanced by the death on the eve of opening of its young composer/lyricist/librettist Jonathan Larson. The show makes an interesting contrast with that other Puccini retread, Miss Saigon . The latter, a British musical, relocates Madame Butterfly to the most controversial conflict of our time, paints its story on a big, sweeping canvas and has gone on to play around the world; the other brings La Bohme home to Greenwich Village, and thus further reinforces the parochialism of the New York musical, as it shrivels away to its core audience. I would doubt its potential on the road or overseas. But Rent won its awards not just for its subject but also for its score. According to Stephen Sondheim, Jonathan Larson had managed to do what so many Broadway writers had tried and failed for years to do: He'd used the language of rock to propel a theater piece. He'd fused contemporary pop and drama. Rock 'n' roles. Just for the record, there's a bit of Puccini in Rent . At the end, Roger the songwriter finally finishes his song for Mimi--"Your Eyes"[LINK TO AUDIO CLIP]--and in it, we also hear a brief snatch of "Musetta's Waltz." As it's played on an electric guitar, though, it's reminiscent less of Bohme than of "Don't You Know?," a pop adaptation of the waltz that was a hit in the '50s for Della Reese [LINK TO AUDIO CLIP]and which contains one of the laziest filler couplets in lyric-writing history: I have fallen in love with youFor the rest of my whole life through ... As the waltz echoes alarmingly through Rent 's finale, you're reminded of a basic fact: Music is music. If a tune's muscular enough, you can do it as an operatic waltz, a big pop ballad, an electric guitar solo. Rock, like swing or disco or bluegrass, is a style and, in the theater, its usefulness depends on the story you're trying to tell. Musicals can't be on the so-called cutting edge, because they take so many years to get up on stage: By the time your grunge musical opens, grunge will be out and splurge will be in. That's the problem with Rent : Only on Broadway could it be mistaken for state-of-the-art rock. The big driving numbers, like "What You Own," [LINK TO AUDIO] come out sounding like, say, Blue yster Cult, full of the same charmingly overheated metaphors: You're living in AmericaAt the end of the millenniumYou're living in AmericaLeave your conscience at the tone ... The ballads, on the other hand, are overwrought and declarative. The best, "Seasons of Love," [LINK TO AUDIO CLIP] affects the same ensemble solidarity as "What I Did for Love" in A Chorus Line . [LINK TO AUDIO CLIP]Both can find no better use for the pop ballad than as group therapy--one for those suffering the vicissitudes of life as a chorus gypsy, the other for those "living in the shadow of AIDS." But the spare, slightly awkward chanted admonition--"measure in love"--is still a world away from the best pop lyric-writing. Alan Jay Lerner used to bemoan the fact that writers like Paul Simon never went into the theater. But, since the advent of the LP and the gatefold sleeve with the printed lyrics and the college courses that study rock songs for their elusive allusiveness, pop texts have been freed from the first requirement of a Broadway lyric: that it be made up of words you can catch when you're sitting in a theater and they're flying through the air at you. Paul Simon once took me through one of his songs, "Hearts and Bones," which begins, "One and one-half wandering Jews ..."[LINK TO AUDIO CLIP] He explained to me that it was "one and one-half" because the song was about him, and he's Jewish, and his then-wife Carrie Fisher, is the daughter of Eddie Fisher, who's also Jewish, and Debbie Reynolds, who's not; hence, one and a half. So far, we'd spent about 10 minutes decoding just five words, but I felt on top of them and was ready to move on. Then Simon said: "But it's also a reference to the flower.""Pardon?""There's a flower called Wandering Jew.""There's a flower?""Yes.""Ah." And I realized that, had Simon followed Lerner's advice and started writing musicals, we'd have had to get to the theater at 10:30 in the morning to read up on the textual footnotes. In that sense, despite Geffen's marketing efforts, Larson is straightforwardly Broadway. The Act I finale, "La Vie Bohme ," [LINK TO AUDIO CLIP] is a rock gloss on the hoariest of musical comedy staples, the bravura laundry list. The master was Cole Porter: You're a rose!You're Inferno's Dante!You're the noseOn the great Durante! Next to Porter's marriage of the erudite and the everyday, Larson's catalog seems somewhat single-minded: To SontagTo SondheimTo anything taboo ... The Sondheim reference is apposite. Songs like "Tango: Maureen"[LINK TO AUDIO CLIP]--glib, brittle dialogue at odds with the exotic tango rhythms--are a reminder of such early Sondheim works as "Barcelona." [LINK TO AUDIO CLIP] In Company, Sondheim used the click-buzz of the telephone as a leitmotif for urban neurosis; in Rent, Larson tries to pull something similar with his "Voice Mail" numbers, a series of a-cappella answering-machine messages. There are two good songs in Rent . They're called "White Christmas" and "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer," and they're briefly quoted in a yuletide scene. But Larson's own title for that number--"Christmas Bells"--reveals his greatest weakness. "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" is a title; so's "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus." But "Christmas Bells" isn't; neither is "You'll See" or "Out Tonight" or "We're Okay," all titles of songs in Rent . "Without You" is a good title but it's already been used in My Fair Lady and as a hit for Nilsson and Mariah Carey. Ira Gershwin used to say: A title Is vitalOnce you've itProve it. A good title usually indicates a good song idea, a good central lyric thrust, something to resolve. As pop and theater have drifted apart, it seems that the rock crowd pays more heed to Gershwin's advice than the musical men. "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go" (George Michael) or "Get Outta My Dreams, Get Into My Car" (Billy Ocean) are better titles and stronger images than you get in most show tunes. In Rent, there are few strong song ideas, few resolved lyric thrusts. That's one reason why it's deficient as drama, but also why it will be hard to play on pop radio. David Geffen is likely to be disappointed: Rent continues the American musical's long fade-out to a twilight limbo, caught somewhere between not-quite-serious music and no-longer-popular pop music. Game Theory I don't have any statistics handy for purposes of comparison, but if this isn't the largest retrospective exhibition ever mounted, it is certainly the biggest I've ever seen. The uptown Guggenheim is almost entirely filled by the first part, with only one of the five or six side galleries devoted to items from the permanent collection. Part 2 takes up two floors at the SoHo annex; and the adjunct at the Ace Gallery, while a single work, consists of 189 parts and measures roughly 1,000 feet in length. If the task of viewing all this isn't a sufficient workout, there are also two concurrent Rauschenberg gallery shows, a series of frescoes and an exhibit of photographs, at the Pace Wildenstein MacGill complex on 57 th Street. Rauschenberg is an amazingly prolific and formally venturesome artist who, over the past 50 years, has nearly always risked aesthetic trespass, producing work deliberately just one degree or two from being merely ugly, banal, kitschy, gimmicky, showy, facile or, of course, excessive. Those possibilities were what he was pitting himself against while his contemporaries in the 1950s, for example, were battling the picture plane. When he has won, he has won spectacularly. He hasn't, however, always won. He did have an astonishing 25 years or so, though. At least the first three-quarters of the Frank Lloyd Wright spiral and its sideways annexes--traveling up--display one dazzling triumph of eye over reflex after another, some of them iconic by now, others seldom shown and vitally fresh. Although some very good work predates it, you might say that the show symbolically begins with his Erased de Kooning Drawing of 1953. (Click on each thumbnail to see an enlargement.) It is exactly that: a few smudged traces of pencil on an elaborately matted and framed piece of paper. This work has always been cited as a classic killing-the-father act or a declaration of independence from the dogma of Abstract Expressionism. It is both those things, but it is also a declaration of independence from drawing. He did a bit of it early on, but soon realized that he had two stronger suits, junk assemblage and photography. He is a virtuoso of both. He might actually be considered a great neglected photographer, although this neglect is only a consequence of the fame of his combine paintings and prints ("combine paintings" is Rauschenberg's own term for works that include both oil and objects on canvas). The photographs in the museum show are primarily tough, direct found-object still-lifes, clearly descended from Walker Evans and related to Robert Frank. His interest in both depicting and displaying found objects also links him to Evans, who, toward the end of his life, was taking home and hanging up the bullet-riddled stop signs he found on the road rather than just taking their pictures. Rauschenberg, however, was compelled to alter such objects, attaching them to canvas, smearing them with paint, and combining them with all manner of other substances. The wall captions in this show are much more entertaining than those things usually are, viz.: Odalisk (1955-58), a combine that includes "oil, watercolor, pencil, crayon, paper, fabric, photographs, printed reproductions, miniature blueprint, metal, newspaper, glass, dried grass, and steel wool, with pillow, wood post, electric lights, and Plymouth Rock rooster, on wood structure mounted on four casters." You can imagine the fun Rauschenberg must have had finding random detritus on the streets, dragging it up to the loft, and then figuring out the most perversely elegant ways to put it together. There are a few studio pictures in the vast catalog, but none, unfortunately, shows the rat's nest of tennis balls, old newspapers, stuffed birds, cheesy bedspreads, and construction debris that must have filled the place in the 1950s. Lately a great deal has been made of Rauschenberg's discretion regarding his sex life, with critics zeroing in on Bed (1955), a combine that includes a paint- and pencil-enhanced pillow, quilt, and sheet; as well as Canyon (1959), which features, among other things, a mirror, a pillow in a noose, and a stuffed bald eagle in full wingspread. Those works are presumably meant to be Realist and Symbolist (respectively) allusions to his homosexual identity, and Rauschenberg is chided for not publicly affirming the same. And such allusions they may well be, although you do wonder how those critics would then interpret the iconic Monogram (1955-59), with its stuffed angora goat wearing a car tire around its midriff. The quest for meaning, a professor's game, looks pretty pale amid the panache and humor of Rauschenberg's assemblages and combines. They involve Dada nose-thumbing, Expressionist brio, an American appreciation of pure funk, a flneur 's eye for chance and juxtaposition in the streets, a sensualist's feeling for the most outr kinds of texture, and a scopophiliac's unquenchable thirst for images, all kinds, right now, from industrial logos to comic strips to postage stamps to Velzquez's Rokeby Venus . (He also, incidentally, has quite an ear, capable of doing more with a one-word title-- Rebus , Currency , Interview , Barge , Express --than most writers.) Meaning has actually tended to be a pitfall for him, as is shown by his topical posters, only one of which is displayed here, a dully literal item for Earth Day 1970. The lower level of the Guggenheim SoHo displays the tinkering side of Rauschenberg's nature, the works he made in collaboration with engineers--the star item there is unquestionably Mud Muse (1968-71), a vat of bentonite (an artificial clay) that bubbles and gurgles and spits, like a pool of quicksand in a Tarzan movie, triggered by a sound-activated compressed-air system. This kind of stuff is engaging and, occasionally, more than that. Upstairs, and on the very highest tiers of the uptown branch, is where the trouble starts. Over the last 20 years or so, Rauschenberg has repeated himself, a lot. This may be par for the course of most artistic careers; the distinction here is that he has repeated himself in ever more exalted and expensive media (reflective metals, Japanese ceramics, fresco), which just gild the funk, sapping its life. When employing his habitual paper and canvas and burlap bags he has tended to go for discordantly smooth finishes. The Ace Gallery installation, a work in progress that will eventually reach a quarter mile in length, is a recapitulation of themes that winds up being reductive in its very gigantism. Meanwhile, the best of the later work is the very simplest, made from discarded gas-station signs. Maybe he should just limit himself to materials that cost no more than five bucks a pound. Bathroom Beauty The Museum of Modern Art has buried its Pierre Bonnard retrospective in windowless basement galleries. The puzzling decision to relegate the painter of sun-drenched tablecloths and rainbow gardens to the underground makes some sense given the direction and drift of the show, the third MoMA retrospective of Bonnard's work since his death just shy of age 80 in 1947. John Elderfield, the curator in charge, has banished some of Bonnard's most popular and beguiling works--Provenal landscapes with red-roofed houses, windows looking out from laden breakfast tables, flowering trees--to the periphery of the show. He asks us to focus our attention instead on three major clusters of Bonnard's work: bathroom scenes of Bonnard's wife, Marthe, undressing, primping, or toweling herself off; scenes of Marthe submerged full-length in a bathtub; and self-portraits of Bonnard peering at himself in the bathroom mirror. You could call the show, after Ingmar Bergman, "Scenes From a Marriage," since Bonnard includes his very clean wife in some 384 paintings. Then again, you could call it, with equal justice, "Scenes From a Bathroom." Elderfield thinks these bathroom pictures raise most insistently the problems of perception--peripheral vision, scanning rhythms, and so on--that for him are at the heart of Bonnard's art. Elderfield's ponderous and mechanistic catalog essay is filled with such insights as the following: "While the global rhythms have a pulsatile aspect owing to the regular bounce provided by the edge, which rebounds the gaze, the chasing rhythms have a more spasmodic aspect owing to the more extended and irregular scanpaths they follow." (If you're hungry for more, the show's Web site adds explanatory diagrams.) Bonnard is indeed a visually complex artist, whose constant experimenting with peculiar compositional schemes--especially his habit of concealing figures on the margins of his paintings--requires patient and prolonged viewing. Picasso's paintings grab you by the throat; Bonnard's paintings dawn on you. But all these "adventures of the optic nerve," as Bonnard calls them, were means, not--as Elderfield believes--ends. We're not taking a course in optics in these paintings; we're looking at a couple, and a mighty strange one. Like Edgar Degas and douard Manet in the previous generation of French painters, Bonnard (1867-1947) was born into the high bourgeoisie (his father served in the upper echelons of the War Ministry), and like those painters he had a taste for the demimonde. He attended the posh Lyce Louis-le-Grand, Degas' alma mater, and like Degas seemed destined for a law career. Two nearly simultaneous events sealed his fate. He flunked the civil service exam and won a contest in 1889 to design a poster for a champagne firm. In his winning design, a waitress tips a champagne glass forward, and the cascading foam obscures pretty much everything but her cleavage. Bonnard's early influences were the work of Paul Gauguin and Japanese prints, both of which confirmed his interest in bold colors and strongly delineated design. He was a member of the Nabis (Hebrew for "Prophets"), a loose-knit brotherhood of painters who worshiped Gauguin and, as Bonnard later recalled, "envisaged a popular art that was of everyday application." The MoMA exhibition, composed entirely of oil paintings, ignores Bonnard's dazzling drawings, lithographs, decorated screens, book illustrations, set designs (for Alfred Jarry's Ubu Roi , for Nijinsky ballets), puppets, and masks, thus obscuring both the breadth and the nature of his career. The decorative panel called (1916-20) gives a taste of this improvisatory and populist side of Bonnard's work, with its hidden animals--a peacock and a monkey, for example, in the tree above the strangely modern-looking Adam's head. During the 1890s, when Bonnard was first making a name for himself as an artist, his effervescent brilliance in one medium spilled (like champagne) into others. His salmon-pink illustrations for Paul Verlaine's soft-porn poems ("I want you almost nude, not nude ... through a cloud/ of lace the glimpse of/ your flesh, which my delirious mouth/ races across") became the basis for a suite of paintings of models in black stockings. Perhaps to give such pictures a classical sanction, he often borrowed the poses from well-known antique sculptures. (1900) is based on the marble Hermaphrodite in the Louvre. Such erudite allusion could also add to the kinky mixing of high and low, as when Bonnard put high heels on a model posed as the Medici Venus (, 1931). The American painter Eric Fischl (as reported in Timothy Hyman's excellent new study of Bonnard) has identified the partially concealed hands of Bonnard jutting into this painting, offering up a red-stained (sanitary?) cloth to the yellow nude. Bonnard had met the high-heeled, diminutive model for many of these paintings of nudes around 1893. She introduced herself as Marthe de Mlingy--the sort of mock-noble name that demimondaines such as Proust's Odette de Crcy liked to assume--and claimed to be a teen-ager. Her real name was Maria Boursin, and she was 24, though Bonnard didn't find out these details until, like Proust's Swann, he married her. The marriage, kept secret from Bonnard's family, was the result of a traumatic development in Bonnard's life. He had had affairs with other models before, but seven years earlier he had fallen in love with a statuesque blonde--a woman physically the opposite of Marthe--called Rene Monchat ("Chaty" to her intimates). In several paintings, including (1925), two women--in this case the brunette leaning over the table to the right and the peripheral blonde to the extreme left--seem to vie for the viewer's attention. (The optical mechanisms arising from such tensions between central figures and partially hidden peripheral figures are a major subject of Elderfield's essay.) Bonnard found himself unable to leave Marthe, his lifelong companion, and Rene killed herself in despair. By some reports she shot herself; others, perhaps influenced by the obsession of Bonnard's late paintings, say she drowned herself in her bathtub. In any case, it was in 1925, the year of his marriage, that Bonnard first painted his wife full-length in the bathtub, where she retreated for hours at a time every day. The usual line is that Marthe, paranoid and neurotic, had a mania for cleanliness. Sarah Whitfield (who installed the show for its previous run at London's Tate Gallery), while not denying the compulsive nature of Marthe's bathing, has suggested that hydropathy was a popular treatment for such ailments as tubercular laryngitis, which Marthe suffered from and eventually, in 1942, died of. All three late paintings of Marthe in the bath--considered by many to be Bonnard's crowning achievements--are on view at MoMA. They have a jeweled, hallucinatory quality. The modern bathroom with its linoleum floor, ceramic tile, and enameled tub--as banal a setting as one could imagine--is transformed in these late masterpieces into a world as rich and exotic as Tutankhamen's tomb (, 1936). Marthe looks embalmed in formaldehyde, her features dissolving before our eyes. In some of his bathroom scenes of Marthe, Bonnard marks his own voyeuristic presence at the margins--a knee jutting into the canvas here, a hazy profile there. In MoMA's beautiful of 1932, the little dog keeping vigil seems like a stand-in for Bonnard. An alarm clock on the washstand is set forever at 5 o'clock as though to mark this epiphany, when the white light struck the woman's breast just so. Then, in the enigmatic self-portraits grouped in the final room of the MoMA show, Bonnard is suddenly fully there, though back-lit and shadowed in the bathroom mirror. Two of the very late self-portraits have the wartime blackout curtains pulled aside, as though Bonnard is exposed in more ways than one. (1931), though, is surely the strangest of the self-portraits. Almost Chaplinesque, Bonnard as depicted here looks like the very last fighter you'd bet on. His face looks bruised and battered, and his small, sunken eyes show the marks where glasses were just removed. But he holds up his hands gamely, as though to say that with these hands, bloodied and unprotected, he painted some of the most extraordinary paintings of his quickly ending century. After the Revolution The career of the protean all-media artist Aleksandr Rodchenko (1891-1956) can be seen as a textbook example of the seduction and betrayal of the Russian Revolution. No, he wasn't sent to a gulag, and he wasn't shot. Rather, he lived on to see his ideals thoroughly rubbished and himself marginalized to the point of nonexistence. But his life and art appear inseparable from the trajectory of the Communist experiment. To view the large, multifaceted exhibit of his work at MoMA is at once exhilarating and poignant--exhilarating because of the nearly 20 years of unabating discovery, astounding energy, and constant renewal at its heart; poignant because the main inspiration for the work was a ladderlike series of delusions that inevitably toppled Rodchenko into the void. Rodchenko was the epitome of Constructivism, which, of all the "isms" of early 20 th century art, was the most concerned with practical matters of the workaday world. Not all Russian avant-gardists were Constructivists, and not all Constructivists were Russian or necessarily Communist. From our remove, there appear to be many similarities among Rodchenko's preoccupations and those of artists who stood on the other side of some ideological gulf. Kasimir Malevich, for example, was also concerned with geometry and with purifying art of baggage such as color, but his Suprematism had its origin in an ascetic spirituality. Many of the artists associated with Bauhaus were, like Rodchenko, out to remake the world beginning with the appearance of material objects, but unlike him they did not feel the burden of responsibility toward a society in progress. Rodchenko and his friends in the various groupings of the left wing of Soviet art in the 1920s saw themselves as embattled representatives of the true spirit of the Revolution, in the face of various currents of reaction, mediocrity, timidity, and stasis. Vladimir Mayakovsky was out to reinvent poetry, Vsevelod Meyerhold theater, Vladimir Tatlin the monument, Dziga Vertov cinema, Viktor Shklovsky and Sergei Tretiakov prose literature, while Rodchenko's domain comprised advertising, illustration, graphic design, stage design, photography, and a few other things besides. Theirs was a revolution of the imagination, and many of their works continue to present the vigor of that spirit even after three-quarters of a century of pastiches and secondhand derivations, but at the same time they present an unhappy example of wishful thinking. These artists believed that if they built their respective corners of the new world, the rest would fill itself in and the people would flock to inhabit it. Instead, few of them had much of a popular base, all their careers were squelched by Stalin, and most of them were killed. All of them were radical Modernists well before 1917, and Rodchenko was no exception. The path of his early years is graphically shown on the walls of MoMA as a process of relentless stripping down, jettisoning first figuration, then ambiguity, then volume, and finally color. After his ritual immolation of the last--in 1921, at a show where he exhibited panels of pure red, yellow, and blue as a farewell gesture--he was finally ready to begin reconstruction from the bottom, initially by way of collage. The family resemblance among his collages and those being made concurrently by artists in Germany, France, and even the United States provides a bracing example of what is meant by a Zeitgeist --in a time of shaky and sluggish telecommunications, several dozen widely separated artists all hit at once on the idea of chopping up whatever printed ephemera lay at hand and reassembling the fragments into dynamic compositions that reassigned their meaning. It was a scavenger's revolution that held large promise for a time: finding potential in the most random litter, making a new world out of the debris of the old. Soon Rodchenko had renounced any art divorced from practical application and was driving down every useful avenue, designing clothing (the factory uniform by way of Buck Rogers), printed fabrics, newspaper kiosks, logotypes, magazine covers and book jackets, and printed advertisements of all sorts. When Lenin instituted the New Economic Policy in 1921--which permitted a limited amount of capitalist competition in order to restore some of the country's cash flow--Rodchenko and Mayakovsky became the advertising agency for many of the state's manufacturing and retail operations, which, in a sense, let them have their cake and eat it, too. Rodchenko's designs--in red and black, crisply diagonal, filled with visual hooks and slams--are still being aped today, and some of them manage to look more modern than anything around now (Mayakovsky's apparently catchy rhymed slogans, unfortunately, do not translate well). Mayakovsky's scowling, angular, shaven-headed poetic boxer's mug was a dramatic advertising image unto itself, and Rodchenko's six portraits of him made him an icon (to be recycled endlessly in Soviet propaganda after Mayakovsky's dubious 1930 suicide, an act which even if self-willed was certainly nudged along by the state). The portraits also launched Rodchenko's photographic career, which, with typical flair, fell effortlessly into the main currents of European Modernism. Despite strong competition from abroad, he virtually came to own the rakish angle on multistory architecture, and he shared with the German Umbo title to the perpendicular view of the street from above. The show includes some lesser known works as well, such as his serial shots of Moscow street peddlers, which with their static figures and shifting traffic backdrops are like little movies composed of stills. His photography was the first thing that got him in trouble, too, as his wildly angled close-ups of the faces of the Young Pioneers were denounced as "grotesque" by members of conservative art factions. Rodchenko, who for a couple of years after the Revolution continued to ally himself with the soon-to-be-banned anarchists, now felt the shifting winds and bent himself to various acts of public self-criticism, but even so he found himself unable to obtain permits for street photography. He diligently applied himself to the kind of work allotted in the Stalinist era, documenting official marches and construction projects in the hinterlands. His private pictures from the time include some classics, but they are classics of despair. In his last 20 years, he was effectively dead. No. 250: "Musa vs. Ake" On Wednesday, Musashimaru defeated Akebono to become the 67 th yokozuna. Why is this noteworthy? Send your answer by 5 p.m. ET Monday to newsquiz@slate.com . Wednesday's Question (No. 249)--"Cam Com Can Gal": The list includes cameras, laptop computers, canvas bags of tools, and 665 gallons of water. List of what? "Award inducements to Belgrade telephone users who are ready to switch to MCI local service."-- Marshall Efron "Things used as stand-ins for Liam Neeson while Star Wars was being filmed."--Justin Warner "To the horror of environmentalists, soon the Yangtze River will be composed entirely of these items."-- Jennifer Miller "Once-hidden details of Da Vinci's The Last Supper , now clearly visible beneath the table."-- Peter Carlin "Robot punch. Serves 10,000."-- Chris Kelly Click for more answers. Randy's Large Intestine Wrap-Up Although many of you submitted enema jokes, I ran none--an aesthetic not a political decision, if such a distinction is possible. Some laugh at colonic humor, some don't. I have no doubt that several entries were particularly fine examples of rectal comedy. These I have passed along to my London counterpart, Sophie Rhys-Cohen, who plans to run them in "Naughty Scamp," the English edition of News Quiz, along with many comical pictures of men in women's clothing and a terrific photograph of Queen Elizabeth's left breast. (At least they said it was hers when Sophie R-C handed over 100,000 of Bill Gates' money.) Incidentally, Naughty Scamp is still encouraging participants to suggest better things to do with fresh fruits and vegetables than eat them. Five Americans, a Canadian, and a Russian Walk Into an Answer All are packed in the cargo bay of the Space Shuttle Columbia for a scheduled Thursday launch. And if it does take place, that launch will end a string of six consecutive failures. The unmanned six-failure record was broken Tuesday by the Thaad anti-missile system, when the rocket that was to serve as its target, in the words of Defense Department spokesman Kenneth Bacon, "tumbled chaotically out of control." I guess we've all done that. The Thaad project, incidentally, has already cost more than $3 billion. Neither Congress nor the Defense Department is discouraged by its unbroken record of failure. I call that plucky. If the Columbia does get off the ground, its crew of five Americans, a Canadian, and a Russian will transfer those supplies to the Russian-American space station, in one of the 160 space walks on 86 flights needed to complete the station--and no doubt worth every penny. Canvas? Can that be right--canvas tool bags in outer space? Shouldn't the tools be stowed in something spectacularly light and strong and expensive--Kevlar or woven Tang or something? But that's what Beth Dickey reports in the New York Times , and that's good enough for me. Chris Kelly's Medical Extra I don't know if this counts as an "extra" or anything, but what the hell is going on with George Lucas' neck? I mean, you'd think a guy with all that high-tech know-how could do something about that sucker. It's less like a wattle and more like a Siamese twin. Maybe he could computer-animate some paisleys on it and claim it's a scarf. Am I the only person this unsettles? Am I just jealous? Headline Haiku Local Press Looking human experimentation lab Barak and Arafat Promote Good Citizenship? -- Charles Waugh Ex-Cons Find A Drag Racer Touching and Fondling NRA's Favorite Hobbyhorse Wall Street Journal , May 25, 1999 -- Tim Carvell Common Denominator Colonic discomfort. How Free Is Louise? The indictment of President Slobodan Milosevic by the International War Crimes Tribunal in the Hague was variously interpreted Friday in the European press. The hawkish papers of Fleet Street raised loud hurrahs, while some of the more dovish ones on the continent were gloomy about its effects on the Kosovo war. There was also widespread suspicion that NATO's war leaders had more to do with the timing of Chief Prosecutor Louise Arbour's announcement than she, insisting on the independence of her U.N. role, cared to admit. There was general unanimity, however, that her decision made a peace settlement much more difficult to achieve and increased the prospect of NATO ground troops being eventually deployed in Kosovo against Serb resistance. In London, the Times and the Daily Telegraph , both conservative papers, were delighted. The Telegraph said the indictment would put muscle into the United States because "though Bill Clinton might be happy to compromise with a fugitive from justice, the American people could not stomach such a peace with dishonour." The Times said the West "has to thank the brave Canadian judge" for ending any chance that NATO would grant Milosevic immunity from arrest and prosecution--one of his principal peace conditions. Such immunity would not only be "morally repellent," it was "now illegal," it said. The liberal Independent of London was no less pleased, saying Milosevic should have been indicted long ago. Its main front-page headline said the indictment has split the allies, but this was effectively contradicted in an article by its political editor, Donald Macintyre, claiming that the European allies were holding much closer to the U.S. and British positions than was generally imagined and that German Chancellor Gerhard Schrder's much-reported statement that a ground invasion was "unthinkable" had actually meant only that German troops would not participate. Clearly relying on British government sources, Macintyre wrote that even the Italians don't rule out entering Kosovo in "non-permissive" circumstances, but instead he described it as "hypothetical" (though in an interview Thursday with the Italian magazine Panorama , Foreign Minister Lamberto Dini warned that Italy would "dissociate itself" from an invasion). The liberal Guardian of London, while leading with the headline "War crimes move dims peace hope," pronounced the indictment "overwhelmingly positive" and said it augured well "not just for the resolution of this war, but for the world of the twenty-first century." Its international commentator, Martin Woollacott, wrote that the indictment, combined with the commitment of more ground troops, a hardening of NATO's peace terms, and the intensification of the air campaign, represents "a new strategy." It marks a moment when "NATO ceases to be ready to deal with Milosevic and declares itself ready, instead, to deal with Serbia." Woollacott noted that Arbour's words in the Hague, while underscoring the independence of the tribunal, "suggested quite directly that the timing of the indictment had been affected by the disclosure of intelligence by certain countries. The control by the United States and Britain of intercepts and other secret information has always meant that the war crimes card could be played at a moment they deemed would best serve their interests." In Paris, Le Monde , welcoming the indictment as an important new step "in the fight against impunity and barbarism," said Arbour had acted with full independence and freedom, but this view was questioned south of the Alps. In Corriere della Sera of Milan, the 90-year-old columnist Indro Montanelli, one of Italy's most influential journalists, said he hoped it wasn't so, for this would mean that the tribunal had deliberately timed the indictment to sabotage peace negotiations. While British papers were expressing the hope that it would lead to the overthrow of Milosevic by the Serbs, Montanelli predicted the opposite. So did Libration of Paris, which said in an editorial that President Jacques Chirac's call Thursday for an internal coup against Milosevic was most unlikely to come about. Le Figaro also said that to think the Serbs would now desert their leader showed "a deep misunderstanding of the psychology of a people which considers itself persecuted and besieged." Writing from Belgrade for La Repubblica of Rome, Bernardo Valli reported that despite Milosevic's unpopularity and lack of charisma, he now appears to have the country behind him. Death Stamps Not content, apparently, with Oregon's pioneering status as the first state to legalize physician-assisted suicide, the Oregon state government has decided to be the first in the country to offer financially assisted suicide as well. Last year the state agency in charge of determining Medicaid assistance for the poor included assisted suicide among the approved uses of the state's health-care dollars. So, how much does it cost to kill yourself, anyway? Under the Oregon Death With Dignity Act you must consult with a physician and a psychiatric counselor before imbibing the $45 cup of hemlock (actually Phenobarbital D). It turns out to be quite hard to get a price quote for this service over the phone. Medical academics I talked to said you would probably need at least five professional visits at $60 each, for a total bill of $350 or more. But the two individuals for whom claims have been made so far cost the state a total of only $99, which suggests that not a lot of handholding was going on. Since death itself costs $45, the two-for-$99 figure suggests that the poor of Oregon who claim this benefit are getting only $4.50 worth of dignity. On the other hand, how many people are there in Oregon who would like to die but have to go on living because they can't scrape together $49.50? But here's the killer. Before expanding the definition of "health services" to include intentional death by overdose, Oregon was known for another kind of health-policy sang-froid. A few years ago the state expanded medical benefits to cover more people but fewer ailments. A Health Services Commission was set up to consider all illnesses and the treatments available and to prioritize them on a cost-benefit basis. This year's list identifies 743 different conditions and treatments. There was only enough money to treat the top 574 conditions. Venereal warts just made the cut. Uninsured sufferers from condition No. 575--anal fissures--are out of luck. Ditto Nos. 576 through 743. After hearings last year, the commission decided that, since Oregon voters had approved of physician-assisted suicide in not one but two referendums, it was appropriate to include this service under the category of "comfort care" for the terminally ill. "Comfort care" entered the chart at No. 263 with a bullet, just below acute ischemic heart disease and delirium tremens, nosing ahead of various mental disorders, Tourette's syndrome, and rectal polyps. The Oregon legislature is reconsidering all this. People afflicted with illnesses that have not made the funding cut (particularly a group with the Monty Pythonesque name of Not Dead Yet) are irate that a lifesaving operation in the territory around No. 570 can depend on the annual appropriating whims of the legislature, while a free barbiturate consolation prize is safely ensconced at No. 263. Defenders of the commission counter that it would be unconscionable to deny poor people a right as fundamental as death. It sounds like classic big-spending liberalism. But is that what is really at work here? Aiding and abetting a suicide--even at $350 per--is cheaper than just about any other serious medical treatment. Anyone dying in a modern hospital will quickly cost more by staying alive than by exercising the right to die, dignity and all. The commission declined to estimate the cost impact of fatal "comfort care." It could easily be positive, a money saver. If I were an Oregon Health Plan member who suffered from anal fissures (No. 575), my first reaction would be bitterness that by putting assisted suicide at No. 263, the commission had bumped me and my suffering off the list. But my second reaction would be that the more people who take advantage of No. 263, the more likely it is that there will be money enough for No. 575 after all. Given the harrumphing by legislators that Oregon voters never intended to fund suicide when they approved the 1994 referendum, the era of government-subsidized death will probably soon be over. A federal bill sponsored by Sen. Orrin Hatch, R-Utah, would forbid the prescription of drugs for assisted suicide, presumably taking doctors out of the death-assistance business for all patients. This is too bad. Oregon led the country in facing the health-care rationing issue head-on. And now, perhaps unintentionally, it has taken the next logical step: bribing people to go early and save the system a bit of money. To the agonizing issue of health-care costs for the terminally ill, Oregon has stumbled onto a kind of answer, heartless though it may be. Those who attack it will have to come up with something better. Valley Boys Every so often, friends in the computer industry will develop an unrealistically charitable view of their place in the world. "I'm not here to get rich," they pronounce. "I'm here to change the world!" Easy to say, when you happen to be getting rich. Why don't they work in pure research? "Research is an ivory tower," they respond. "Shipping products is the way you change the world." And so they find themselves in the cozy position of believing they're beyond materialism while they cruise around in their Ferraris. The characters in Po Bronson's novel The First $20 Million Is Always the Hardest have it much harder. The fictional nonprofit research laboratory La Honda provides an opportunity to work with the best people in the field, designing products for other companies to sell. They may be changing the world, but they're also underpaid. They have their reasons for being there: For marketer Andy Caspar, La Honda is an opportunity to leave struggling chip maker Omega Logic and prove he's one of the "Ironmen" who make the technologies that drive the information age. For chip designer Francis Benoit, it's, er, a way to leverage corporate resources without corporate interference. For La Honda director Hank Menzinger, it's a way to change the world without doing the actual work himself. For Omega Logic CEO Lloyd Acheson, uh ... actually it's hard to figure out why his company would fund an external research laboratory instead of having its own. La Honda is an unlikely beast, and pretty quickly into this book it starts to smell a whole lot like a plot device. Only in such a place would the motives of the engineers, designers, reporters, and businessmen in this novel combine in the convenient way they do. Fortunately, about halfway through, Caspar and two engineers leave to form a start-up, and La Honda's strange odor fades into the background. They're starting a company to make a $300 "VWPC"--the Volkswagen (people's car) of Personal Computers. They can do so only if they ignore the conventional wisdom that every new computer must be faster than the last and do more. What's better, their simplified software will run on any computer, uniting the world in a new technological brotherhood. Needless to say, these mavericks have an uphill battle to sell their idea. Where $20 Million succeeds is as a character study. According to the book jacket, Bronson has written about Silicon Valley for Wired , the New York Times Magazine , and Forbes ASAP , and he has clearly understood something about the psychology of the place. The misanthropic engineers, the monotonic human-resource drones, the evangelistic marketers, even the nontechnical but talented girlfriend all strike painfully home. I know these people. They are my friends, my co-workers--my wife. We see nerds at work, nerds at play (which is to say, at work), nerds in love, and of course some nerd humor. "If Microsoft made cars ... we'd all have to switch to Microsoft gas," says Caspar. (Have him killed.) So long as Bronson stays inside their heads, I accept everything that happens, even when the technology and events veer away from a world I recognize. It's only when the plot forces him to hide the cards of certain players, which it does periodically, that my disbelief is unsuspended. When we can see into their heads, Benoit and Acheson are avowed enemies. The next thing we know, they are teaming up to steal the VWPC from Caspar and company, and we can't really see how or why this might have happened. Suddenly they are characters in a novel, not in my life. The lack of a profit motive is what really jars. Even when our start-up friends go out on their own, they are doing it because it's the only way to get things done. They hardly seem to care about the money. They give away rights for a song. They are totally focused on delivering technology to the masses. I concede that this is admirable, but everyone I know who has gone the start-up route has been pretty certain that they were also in it for the financial upside. It's almost as if Bronson had started believing all the "I'm not in this to get rich" speeches he must have heard as a reporter. Otherwise, this book is pretty convincing, and one of the reasons it is, even (or especially) to those in the know, is that its plot is essentially a novelization of real-life technology and events. The fictional VWPC and its enabling software "Hypnotizer" look a great deal like the real-life Network Computer and Java. If you don't already know, Java is a programming language well suited to the Internet. Using Java, you can create programs that are downloaded directly off the Internet and run on almost any computer. In theory, this makes it possible to create a simple computer that runs directly off the network and doesn't even need a hard drive. The soap opera that begat Java deserved to be written as a novel. Sun Microsystems engineers working on a set-top box for interactive television devised a new language. They were ignored for over a year, until someone finally realized this was the perfect language for the World Wide Web. Sun's marketers and top management fought it out with the engineers for control of the language, and won. Java is now Sun's core technology asset, and most of its designers have left the company. This user-friendly computer is not, however, the magic bullet that both Sun and Bronson make it out to be. The lowest-common-denominator approach its creators take to solving the problems of today's heterogeneous computer systems is highly controversial, and not just because Microsoft and Intel (who have the most to lose if the Java approach wins out) say so. Java works because it lets everyone run the same program, but it is not clear that everyone wants to run the same program. For example, Microsoft has had a difficult time producing Macintosh versions of its products. Why? Because Macintosh users want Macintosh programs, not warmed-over Windows programs. Java threatens us with a world where every program feels warmed-over in the same way--functional, but not optimal. $20 Million would be a good read even if you know nothing about computers, but it's an even better read if you do, since it delves intriguingly in and out of the psychoses and oddball situations rife in this industry. Just don't ask any hard questions of the book, because it won't answer them. All Work, No Play "What tedious work it is," confessed a spinster aunt tending to her fatherless nieces and nephews in 1860. "The same things over and over. It requires a load of patience and I am principled against showing any impatience to little folks lest it should lessen my influence." This mid-19 th century godsend--whose letter is quoted in At Odds: Women and the Family in America From the Revolution to the Present , by Carl Degler--was an unusual recruit to the enterprise of child rearing: She neither romanticized her mission nor vented her frustration on her charges. What clear-eyed calm! Such sanity has been rare in discussions of child rearing in the "century of the child," as the 20 th was christened at its start by historians and social reformers. During the Progressive era, experts extolled parenthood as an ennobling profession set apart from the workaday grind. By the postwar years, child rearing was being touted as enriching fun. At least nowadays parents are allowed to complain about the burdens their children impose. But somewhere along the way, they've--we've--also lost all patience for kids. This is the disconcerting news delivered by Arlie Russell Hochschild in her important new book, a sequel to her best-selling The Second Shift: Working Parents and the Revolution at Home (1989). In that book, Hochschild explored the dilemmas faced by two-career marriages, in which, she found, women still shouldered the bulk of the child care and housework. The Time Bind charts the transformation of the workplace in the intervening period, and looks at how parents and their children are coping now. More provisions have become available for part-time and flexible employment in successful American companies. Does that mean that stressed-out mothers and fathers are finding better ways to balance their home and work lives? The answer, Hochschild says, is no. Parents are working ever longer hours, and are startlingly frank about why: Staying home with the kids is "tedious work," especially when you could be out earning money in a self-esteem-enhancing workplace. Hochschild's subtitle-- When Work Becomes Home and Home Becomes Work --telegraphs her basic argument. "A cultural reversal of workplace and home" has taken place. In an increasingly work-obsessed society, life on the job has been "feminized," thanks to efforts to engineer a homelike, caring culture for employees, complete with solicitous "climate surveys" and stress-reduction workshops. The home front, meanwhile, has been "masculinized." It runs like the soulless assembly line of old. Ruthless efficiency, compartmentalized schedules, too little autonomy, too much anomie: No wonder parents would rather stay late at the office. Hochschild's own work has the air of being effortlessly well timed. Here, as she did in The Second Shift , she's grabbed a social problem out of the air that ordinary people groan about a great deal and scholars and cultural critics generalize about equally ineffectually. She gives the problem a local habitation--Amerco, a (pseudonymous) Fortune 500 company rated one of the 10 most "family friendly" corporations in America. Between 1990 and 1993, Hochschild interviewed senior managers, middle managers, and clerical and factory workers. She shadowed six families as they did, and didn't, participate in the company's "Work-Life Balance Program," which offers various child-care options and arrangements for working more flexible or shorter workdays. She followed the parents home from work, met their children, became attuned to the tone of their anxieties. And she spoke with the consultants, child-care providers, and psychologists new to the payroll of a business that had lately converted to the "Total Quality" philosophy. That system, the creation of the management guru W. Edwards Deming, replaces overtly bureaucratic control with self-managing work teams and an emphasis on a "common vision." Employees at every level of Amerco fit Hochschild's profile of distracted parenthood. Vicki King, a manager who strongly endorses the company's family friendly policies, works inflexibly long hours herself and juggles her kids' lives like a bustling administrator. She looks back on her maternity leave without any nostalgia: "Gee, guys, that was six weeks I didn't have anybody to talk to. My friends are at work. The things that interest me are at work." The work needn't be fascinating to exert its pull. Mario, a workaholic whose low-level job is stacking and loading boxes, loves his kids but can't wait for his shift with them to end: "It's very stressful mentally, and I get sick of hearing myself scream." Meanwhile, Mario's wife, Deb, refuses to cut down on her work at the factory because she knows it means Mario will cut back on the home front. Deb is blunt about why she likes the status quo, despite the stress of arranging child care: "At work I can do more of what I want. At home, I have to do what the kids want." You can almost hear her stamping her tiny foot. These Amerco parents can sound like, well, children. Indeed, Hochschild calls attention to a psychological reversal accompanying the cultural reversal: We used to feel immature at work and independent at home. Now it's the other way around. According to Hochschild, Total Quality "presumes the worker is a capable adult, not a wayward child." Deming's emphasis on worker autonomy and a joint "conversation" about the company's goals revises the much stricter model of "scientific management" championed by Frederick W. Taylor at the turn of the century, in which the workers were expected to be obedient drones. Hochschild's radical proposal is that home is where Taylorism now reigns. Home is where parents feel infantilized, trapped on a treadmill of efficiency. They've "outsourced" functions that used to be part of their responsibility (baby sitters, tutors, camps), creating a fragmented regimen. The fast-paced pressure of their overscheduled lives has produced a balkiness in their hurried children--and in their own harried selves--that they feel helpless to deal with. But is the Total Quality workplace really as homelike as Hochschild claims? And is the Taylorized home front quite the downsized operation she describes? Her own evidence of parents "fleeing a world of unresolved quarrels and unwashed laundry for the reliable orderliness, harmony, and managed cheer of work" points to a diagnosis that is, if anything, more disconcerting. Perhaps parents are eager to go to work not because it gives them autonomy but because it lets them be safely and comfortably childlike. At home, they face the daunting challenge of being superadults. Hochschild acutely observes that "what Benjamin Spock did for child rearing, Total Quality is doing for work." But Spock was not, pace his critics, a permissive advocate of giving the child real power or of giving parents an easy break. He envisioned the parent as the "friendly boss," vigilantly and solicitously manipulating a naturally docile child. At work, Deb and Mario don't really get to do what they want, only to enjoy what they have to do. They have been given satisfyingly discrete tasks, for which they are rewarded with boosts to their self-esteem. Their needs are defined and ministered to; support is constantly made available in the form of organized workshops and counseling sessions. The goal is not independent self-reliance, but a more internalized sense of dependence on the company. At home, Deb and Mario and the rest of us--whether Amerco employees or Slate free-lancers with children, like me--don't exactly fit the model of mere repetitive-motion machines. We're more like Total Quality bosses, and we're just what many new-style CEOs are: overwhelmed by a vast therapeutic mandate to keep control while dispersing power and to ensure not just the health but the happiness, not just the productivity but the loyalty, of our charges. What's striking, as Sharon Hays recently pointed out in The Cultural Contradictions of Motherhood (1996), is how tenaciously we cling to "intensive motherhood," as she calls this ambitious mission, despite its increasing impracticality and despite how guilty it can make us feel. The truth is that home hasn't suddenly become work. It has always been work--endless work, and such close restraint. "The same things over and over." No "recognition ceremonies" for tasks well done, few clear-cut goals or tidy limits to responsibility. Professionalizing and romanticizing that work, as experts and parents have tried to do throughout the century, has not made child-rearing more spiritually satisfying or relaxing. It has made it more anxiety-inducing. Hochschild wants to say that we can reclaim safe haven in our family life from a market-dominated world, but her idea of a solution ends up sounding like the ultimate triumph of the commodified mentality. In vacuous Demingese, she announces that we need to learn from "public debate about the need for 'emotional investment' in family life in an era of familial divestiture and deregulation." Actually, Taylorism might be more in order. More fathers need to buckle down on the home front, which would improve the attitude and motivation of mothers too. And parents of both sexes should remember that growing children are the fastest-paced Americans of them all. Surely that is, paradoxically, the most persuasive reason to slow down a bit at work and hang out more at home. The kids will be gone in no time. More Bang for the Buck A friend of mine offers a theory about why Bill Clinton's poll numbers stayed so high throughout the Lewinsky scandal: The news made it possible for serious-minded people to spend lots of time--at the office and over lunch--talking about semen stains, vaginal insertions, and blow jobs. And the people were grateful. That's probably because they're not getting all that much themselves. A recent University of Chicago survey of 10,000 adults found that Americans are having considerably less sex than was generally thought. Only one American in 20 has sex three times a week. One in five didn't score at all last year. If that's true, many of us could use a little sexual self-improvement. Not me, of course. I have been happily married for 26 years, since the age of 21. Deb and I have what seems to us to be a perfectly fine amorous life, yet everywhere I turn the culture tells me--almost mocks me-- you can do better! What would happen to our sex life then, if Deb (who participated in this story because she loves me and because she has tenure) and I tried for the first time to make something happen to it? And so it was that we found ourselves for the first time ever in a sex-toy store, A Touch of Romance, located near our home in Los Angeles, across the street from a Macy's. The idea behind shops like these is to make obtaining the materials of sexual experimentation as ordinary as purchasing plumbing supplies or housewares. Which sort of works--the only sexual thrill I got from the visit was knowing that Microsoft just bought a cock ring. Choosing it wasn't easy. Most of them came in presized sets of three. I couldn't figure out which would fit right and intuited that try-ons weren't an option. So I opted instead for an adjustable circumference version, a little strip of vinyl with snaps for $11.95. Man, what a rip-off! Unless it works. It doesn't. Back home, I derived a certain depraved buzz in cinching the device on, but that was soon eclipsed. The thing works on the Roach Motel principle--your blood gets in but it can't get out. But then I got to thinking: Under battlefield conditions it doesn't get out anyway. And while I should have been paying more attention to other things, this led to thinking about the old joke with the punch line "... and right ball go POW." My wife hadn't noticed any difference at all. Overall rating, on a scale of 1 to 10: 2 toes curled. A woman I know says women's magazines are the best places in America to find sex tips. She's right--go ahead, just try to find a sewing pattern in Redbook . You're much more likely to land on "Try phone sex, dirty notes, porn videos, fantasy games and sex in new places. ... Try lingerie and no underwear. ... Try talking dirty and silk scarves. Try anything at all," or articles such as "Eight New Games for the Foreplay Challenged." An article in the April Cosmopolitan , "The Six Best Sex Positions," seemed more promising than the Redbook playbook. Each position was accompanied by a succinct write-up and a stick-figure diagram. The position we settled on was "The Butterfly," which we had to read three times to comprehend. The man stands, the woman remains supine on a bed or counter-top with her feet up on his shoulders. The whole idea is to produce a pelvic tilt for better access to the G spot. Instead, we experienced an uncomfortable pretzel feeling that stick figures must be immune to. And in general, Cosmopolitan 's exotic sex positions require the sort of body placement you can't remember in the moment of passion and even if you could, for proper alignment, you still might need mood-killing accessories such as a plumb line and a laser pen. Rating: 3 toes curled. Next we tried those "Better Sex" instructional videos advertised in the New York Times Book Review. I ordered Better Sexual Techniques , Advanced Sexual Techniques , Making Sex Fun , and Advanced Oral Sex Techniques (priced about $11.95 each, not including shipping and handling). My wife couldn't bear to watch them; I persevered but must admit it was a chore. The oral-sex tape starts with "well-known sex therapist" Diana Wiley, in her poofy hair and broad-shouldered blue power suit, looking like she was about to explain how the sales force could increase its third-quarter productivity. Instead she runs through all the euphemisms for oral sex and then the video cuts to XXX action with gratuitous commentary. Wiley's overexplanation of everything two people can do to each other with their mouths raises this question: Do you really need a five-minute video segment on whether or not to swallow? In the great tradition of hotel and travel ads, the guys tend to be markedly less attractive than the women. No way he'd be with her if this wasn't an instructional sex video! The inanity of the experts and the dubious casting make these films about as erotic as ... well, as the New York Times . You could learn more from any randomly selected porn video. Rating: 0 toes curled. Another approach is food. The notion that certain foods, such as oysters or rhino horn, are aphrodisiacs has been pretty much discounted. But it's plausible to think that cooking a meal together and then dining on it, just the two of you, could be erotic. Especially if (like me) your schedule frequently forces you to eat alone and you often find yourself standing in front of the microwave, screaming, "Come on, goddammit!" Intercourses , by Martha Hopkins and Randall Lockridge ($24.95, Terrace Publishing, 1997), preaches that for every time of day and every phase of a relationship there is a type of eating experience that will heighten sexual response. (There's also a chart showing which foods are good for eating off which body parts.) Deb and I blocked off a whole Saturday afternoon and evening for the Intercourses experiment, settling on rosemary-scented lamb over pasta (Page 87) followed by frozen coffee almond dessert (Page 31). According to the book, rosemary is sexy because of its fragrance (used in many perfumes) and because of its texture, which, so the text assured, tickles nerve endings. The dessert was mostly coffee, rum, and Kahlua, which has worked before. We shopped for the food together and cooked together, drinking wine and beer along the way. At one point while I was working on the dessert, I asked my wife how long to beat the heavy cream mixture. "Till it's stiff--it's an aphrodisiac," she said. Preparation took less than an hour, and everything came out perfectly. Eating at our dining room table for the first time ever without guests, we were having fun by candlelight. But the mood was romantic, not erotic. Overall rating: 4 toes curled. That's when we went for the Viagra ($212.50 for 10 doses, which includes a "consultation" fee). The drug was prescribed by a doctor, whom I've never met, and ordered from a pharmacy in Miami Beach, Fla., where I've never been. I completed the transaction via the Internet after filling out a cover-their-ass questionnaire in three minutes. We each decided to take one pill, clinked our glasses, and gulped. And then what? It felt awkward sitting in our bedroom, knowing that it could take up to an hour for Viagra to "work." I suggested that we play strip poker, something I'd never done. Deb had never even played poker, so I had to explain the rules. I won in about six hands, auspiciously I thought, with three aces. But we still weren't really in the mood yet. So then I got out the other purchase I'd made at A Touch of Romance--"Dirty Dice" ($4.95). One of the two pink cubes is marked with these words instead of dots: "lips," "above waist," "ear," "breast," "below waist," and "?". The other cube is labeled "kiss," "squeeze," "lick," "blow," "suck," and "eat." We took turns throwing the dice, but the activities generated seemed forced and arbitrary. Finally, as they say at NASA, there was word from the pad that the launch sequence was initiating. It was pretty much like all other sex, except for a slight lightheadedness. Deb said she noticed a remote tingling sensation. On the plus side, there was no priapism and neither of us experienced disruption of our color vision nor a fatal heart attack, which was nice. Overall rating: 5 toes curled. St. Augustine held lust to be a fitting punishment for man's disobedience to God: the body's disobeying of the mind, the will, the spirit, and even of itself. (The paradigm of this for him is the unbidden hard-on.) Jean-Paul Sartre discovered something similar, although celebrating it rather than deploring it: Essential to the erotic is the body's defiance of design and control. (The paradigm of this for him is the jiggle.) Sartre's view yields a sort of sexual Heisenberg principle: There is an inherent tension between physically abandoning yourself to another on the one hand and sexual planning on the other. The more of the one, the less of the other. And this, I discovered, is the chief obstacle to sexual self-help. Getting an erection is sexy. Making one is not. As my wife said about Viagra, "You start to have a new feeling and then you realize where it came from and then you don't have it so much. ... Anything that makes you think about it like that is just creepy." This is not to say there isn't a way out of this conflict between desire and design. With homage to our potent POTUS, there is, I think, a Third Way that's neither sexual complacency nor standard self-help. If the intrusion of consciousness is the problem, then maybe the answer is to block it out. Sure, you could do this the old-fashioned way: with alcohol and drugs. But then you have all the traditional drawbacks, including diminished physical attractiveness and degraded sexual performance. So how about this instead? Go for all the sexual self-help you can, but do it covertly . Watch a sex video (or porn flick) if you want--but by yourself, and then try to share what you learned without sharing how you learned it. Don't tell your partner you took Viagra. Or give each other standing permission to slip it into the odd after-dinner drink, saying nothing. (Of course, when you do it you'll still know, but having an unselfconsciously turned-on partner is a real compensation for that, and next time, your partner can surprise you. And yes, this requires trust. But why would you be having sex with someone you don't trust?) My main conclusion is that contrary to our blabby culture, the key to a better sex life is less communication. Pharmaceutical Realism Slate ran an item about Gabriel Garca Mrquez's News of a Kidnapping a couple of weeks ago, reporting a general puzzlement among reviewers. Some reviewers were said to have regretted the unmagicness of the book's realism and the sobriety of its prose style. Someone else was said to have deplored a lack of moral firmness in Garca Mrquez's portrait of Pablo Escobar, the Medellin drug lord. But those reactions, as summarized in Slate, don't do justice to the book. News of a Kidnapping is a genuinely masterful work in its field--though the field is journalism, not fiction, which may surprise readers, but shouldn't. Garca Mrquez began his career as a newspaper reporter, not as a novelist, and he has written journalism from time to time ever since. Kidnapping is an old theme of his. Years ago he composed a screenplay described as a "cinematographic narrative," about a real-life mass kidnapping of members of the Nicaraguan elite by the leftist Sandinista guerrillas in 1974, during the time of the Somoza dictatorship. The screenplay was never filmed, so far as I know, but came out in book form under the title Viva Sandino or, in a later edition, El Asalto . There you could already see the elements that make up News of a Kidnapping : a social background of violence and injustice; the United States hovering in the distance; a hostage situation. But the screenplay about Nicaragua presented these elements as a simple Marxist fable--the contemptible elite kidnap victims, the loathsome U.S. imperialists, the heroic revolutionary kidnappers. Nothing so simple appears in News of a Kidnapping . The author says very little about the United States, apart from noting that, at the beginning of the 1990s, when the book takes place, the U.S. wanted to extradite Colombian drug lords to American prisons. The 10 kidnap victims--seized on Pablo Escobar's orders, for the purpose of pressuring the government of Colombia not to extradite anyone--are presented as wholly admirable. As for Escobar himself, Garca Mrquez offers a portrait that is authentically scary. "The most unsettling and dangerous aspect of his personality was his total inability to distinguish between good and evil," Garca Mrquez tells us, in one of his only direct commentaries on his own cast of characters. He shows us the consequences of this particular inability, too--the murdered presidential candidates, the massacres in the Colombian streets, the hundreds of murdered policemen. But we do also see the social reality behind Escobar and his drug empire, which makes for a complicating factor. We meet the young hit men who guarded the kidnap victims, and odors of fatalism, superstition, and barbarism waft upward from the page, in an unmistakable indication that we are in the presence of the grimmest poverty. Escobar claimed to have been conducting a war on behalf of the Colombian slums, avenging the brutality of the police with still more brutality of his own, and we can see that, in a perverse way, he did feel something of a righteous indignation. He managed even to demand that the Colombian press publish a human-rights report by Americas Watch, which was a wonderfully bizarre demand for a crime chief to make. And with details like that, Garca Mrquez's narrative of the kidnapping, the sequestering of the victims in their different safe houses, the efforts by the husband of one of the victims to get the president of Colombia sympathetically involved, the drawn-out negotiations, the months of incarceration, a killing, then another, the intervention of a half-mad television priest, the release of the survivors and, at last, the surrender of Escobar himself--this tale, like a tropical downpour, conjures up a brilliant leafy-green Latin Americanness. At least it does in the original Spanish-language text. In English the leafy green comes out a bit less leafy, due to the traumas of translation. Translations are always faulty, and the present one, by Edith Grossman, is doubtless better than most. Still, there are passages that, while perfectly clear in the Spanish-language original, re-emerge in translation as pointlessly obscure. The kidnap victim whom we get to know best is a prize-winning journalist named Maruja Pachn, about whom Garca Mrquez says, in the English translation, "In the bloom of her early thirties, she had married in the Catholic Church at the age of nineteen, and had given her husband five children." But in Garca Mrquez had merely written, much more simply: "She was in the flower of her thirties, she had been married by the Catholic Church at nineteen, and she had given her husband five children." And of mangled passages like that--now translated with too much freedom, now too literally--is to cover Garca Mrquez's text with a thin, almost invisible varnish of strangeness, which is exactly what the author never meant to have happen. For if there is a deep theme in News of a Kidnapping , it is the same as in some of his other writings: the theme of a narrow, remote provincial life, quaint and familiar (as it feels in the Spanish original), in which the quaintness has somehow blossomed into something horrific. That is exactly how we are meant to see Escobar--as a bit of Colombian local color, except intensified a thousandfold, to the point of monstrosity. A primitive among provincials. A man whose defective moral sense included a grotesquely exaggerated loyalty to a limited number of people in his own family and in the slums. A man with a fortune of 3 billion dollars, who still could not figure out how to live outside his own country, away from the people trying to hunt him down. A cornered beast, terrorized and terrorizing. Garca Mrquez tells us at the start of the book that writing News of a Kidnapping was "the saddest and most difficult" task of his life. But apart from that and a playful wave at us at the end ("How incredible," says Maruja in the last line. "Somebody should write a book!"), nothing in the narrative draws attention to the author or to his way of telling the story. This, too, must disappoint readers looking for the pleasures of an intricately constructed novel. News of a Kidnapping is about real events, however, and not about imagination--not even about a journalist's imagination. By the last chapter I understood Garca Mrquez's Colombia a lot better. I understood something about the drug wars. But never mind what I understood--my hair was standing on end. It was because, without ever breaking the rules of hard-fact journalism, Garca Mrquez had given me an experience of fear of death. Pop Fiction I started picking up The New Yorker , back when I was a sprout, in order to read Donald Barthelme. I think what did it were those faux-Max Ernst collages with which he occasionally ornamented his stories, which appeared so much wilder than my received notion of what that magazine was like, and the stories turned out to be even wilder than the pictures. His surrealistic short fiction was about as avant-garde as you could get on the mass market in those days. As the present volume reveals, Barthelme also occasionally contributed to "Notes and Comment," at that time the first section of "The Talk of the Town." There's nothing earthshaking about those pieces, falling as they do into the walking-around-and-peering or flight-of-whimsy tendencies of that venerable rubric. Still, it's hard to feature them appearing in today's version of the same magazine. "I remember exactly where I was when I realized that Post-Modernism had bought it. I was in my study with a cup of tequila and William Y's new book, One Half . Y's work is, we agree, good-- very good. But who can make the leap to greatness while dragging behind him the burnt-out boxcars of a dead aesthetic? Perhaps we can find new employment for him. On the roads, for example." In 1975, this, and not a celebrity or a promotional motive anywhere in sight (do I need to point out that William Y is an invention of the author's?). The term "Post-Modernism" turns up again and again in these essays and interviews, and it comes as a surprise to find it applied a quarter-century ago, not to metareferences in knowing television serials but to the work of Barthelme and his coevals John Barth, John Hawkes, Robert Coover, William Gass, etc. Who still reads John Barth? Although when you think about it, these writers, who came of age in the 1960s, were Post-Modern even then. Reading Barthelme may make you think of Surrealism, of Pop Art, of various species of what used to be called bricolage, but what came to my mind, revisiting his stories after a long absence, was the mile-a-minute channel-switching in the monologues of Robin Williams. Like Williams, Barthelme was a master ventriloquist with a dish antenna in his subconscious. From "A Shower of Gold," circa 1963: "Yesterday," Peterson said to the television audience, "in the typewriter in front of the Olivetti showroom on Fifth Avenue, I found a recipe for Ten Ingredient Soup that included a stone from a toad's head. ... Coming home I passed a sign that said in ten-foot letters COWARD SHOES and heard a man singing 'Golden Earrings' in a horrible voice, and last night I dreamed there was a shoot-out at our house on Meat Street and my mother shoved me in a closet to get me out of the line of fire. ... My mother was a royal virgin and my father a shower of gold. My childhood was pastoral and energetic and rich in experiences which developed my character." Actually, you won't find much of this kind of machine-gun improvisation in Not-Knowing , at least once past the bracing title essay, the most fully fleshed apologia Barthelme achieved, which barrels from Husserl to "Melancholy Baby" to the past-due bills on his desk in mock-peevish diatribe. You can imagine the voice successively issuing from a pulpit, a bullhorn, an onionskin page, a teletype, a Victrola--and then suddenly there's the author, speaking plainly as himself, "I suggest that art is always a meditation upon external reality rather than a representation of external reality or a jackleg attempt to 'be' external reality." Savor that word, "jackleg," a quarter-second visitation by the ghost of Horace Greeley or someone like him. Such is Barthelme's power when he's operating at full throttle--his piano seems to have 888 keys. Unfortunately, most of Not-Knowing consists of leavings, marginalia, occasional pieces that do not show him at his best. There are some book reviews, which are acceptable but not much more; some movie reviews, which are pretty feeble, with that literalism that bedevils many literary writers when they come to dabble in the form (viz., the collected film criticism of Dwight MacDonald); and some art writing, considerably more savvy although many of the pieces originated as catalog essays and thus sometimes betray a rather forced enthusiasm. There is a transcription of a 1975 fiction symposium in which Barthelme says relatively little and the reader is mostly subjected to vast snowdrifts of abstraction courtesy of Gass. There are a few Nixon-era op-eds that are musty period pieces now. And there is a passel of interviews that vary greatly in quality and insight. The enthusiastic and scholarly wish to preserve the entirety of a given writer's work is understandable and even endearing to a point, but one of the frustrations of this collection is its repetitiveness. Anecdotes are retailed in pieces and retold in interviews; the same citations crop up again and again; I lost count of how many times Barthelme attests to his debt to Beckett and explains that his writing not resembling Beckett's is a paradoxical measure of his thrall. None of this is Barthelme's fault, of course. If I were to publish your collected table talk you would be appalled--only your spouse and your deity know how many times you've told those same five stories. Had Barthelme lived longer (he died in 1989, at 58), the majority of these items would not have been reprinted for another 20 or 30 years, and then probably in the usual dead-author package by the University of Winooski Press, for acquisition by selected academic libraries. Don't get me wrong: This collection has its pleasures, not least of which is the reminder of how strong and unique a sensibility Barthelme possessed, which sent me back to the incomparable anthology Sixty Stories (1981). But Not-Knowing is not unlike a dead-rock-star memento, such as all those collections of Jimi Hendrix's doodles and backup sessions that seemed to come out every Christmas until his estate finally clamped down. The impulse is partly commercial, partly sentimental, partly a wish to uncover just one more unsuspected gem. In Barthelme's case, this kind of packaging seems oddly timed, since his influence on current fiction is if anything at a low ebb. But maybe, just maybe, in some circuitous and stealthy way, Not-Knowing will play its part in revising that lapse, prompting young readers in particular to seek out the best work of an American original, part philosophe and part banana. Handicapped Restroom Etiquette, Part 2 Please send your questions for publication to prudence@slate.com. Prudie has received a flood, you should pardon the expression, of correspondence in response to the . The volume of mail was astounding. Following is a fair sampling from the deluge, with Prudie's thoughts at the end. Dear Prudence, I am dismayed at your answer to the query about using the handicapped stall in a public bathroom. I use a wheelchair. I cannot begin to tell you how many times I have entered a public facility to find the ONLY stall occupied is the handicapped one--and by a person who did not need it! The large size is not because we are "deserving of such amenities," but because people in wheelchairs need the space to turn around, to clamber onto the toilet, to empty catheters, whatever. People such as myself cannot get up from the seat in a conventional stall without handrails. I have seen people use them with their kids--waiting until two or three toddlers "make pee-pee." People sometimes use them to change clothes! This means I sometimes soil myself. If there are NO other empty stalls and you gotta go, then, by all means, use them--but never if there are other stalls you can use. --Ann How clueless!!! Here we have an able-bodied, selfish caffeine addict, who can't seem to wait for a stall, callously making someone who is handicapped wait. What will it take--seeing a person standing in a puddle--or worse--before you realize that you're a doofus? --BM98 Dear Prudence, I felt the need to respond to this. I don't know how many times I have gone to use the handicapped stall and there's always someone in it. If there isn't another stall open, I understand. However, the comment I object to is the one where you say there is never a handicapped person waiting to use it when you are done. There are many conditions that are not visible. I have MS and look just fine. What is not apparent is that I have a bladder problem and a catheter. For me to deal with this is almost impossible in a "standard" stall. --Sincerely, Me You dropped the ball big time in your response to "Doubting," about the able-bodied using stalls for the disabled. Let me enlighten you: Almost every time I need to use the disabled stall (I am in a wheelchair), I have to wait for an AB to leave, and they all apologize meekly when they leave. Your insensitivity is truly astounding. What you consider luxurious is a necessity to us. I suggest that you try holding your bladder or bowels, race to the bathroom, and find the ONE stall you can possibly use occupied by someone who prefers the "luxury" of the handicapped stall. Please reconsider your opinion. Thank you. --Eric Dear Prudence, Sorry to inform you that in California it is a finable offense to use a handicapped-designated restroom stall if you're able-bodied. The fine for the first offense is $271. I was riding my bicycle on the state beach at Huntington Beach and was arrested and given a ticket, which the court has upheld--in the winter the beach maintenance closes all but the handicapped facilities, so I guess you are supposed to use the landscape. --For Real Dear Prudie, The article on use of the handicapped stall was a farce. You basically said it's OK to use it any time. As a former roommate of a disabled person, I became more aware of the functional aspects of being handicapped. Many of these individuals do not have the capacity to "hold it," as you or I do. --A Concerned Citizen Prudie, I'm sure you are not advocating disregarding the rights of the disabled, but I think you may have misled others to do so. There is a big difference between handicapped parking and handicapped restroom stalls. Courtesy would dictate yielding designated bathroom facilities to those who require them, though when available, their use is not restricted from the general public. I would be encouraged to see this clarification published. --D.P. Dear Prudence, Public restrooms are for public use. The larger stalls are meant to accommodate the handicapped--not specifically for. --Phyllis W. Prudie, after much thought, realized several things about this matter. One is that the disabled have a strong, perhaps disproportionate, influence when it comes to public policy. Mostly this is to the good. There are some caveats, however. Prudie remembers the Atlantic Monthly story about the French kiosk company that developed wonderful individual bathrooms for use on streets. New York tried them but had to give them up because the lobby of disabled persons raised such a fuss about all of them having to be handicapped accessible. This, of course, was an impossibility, and unreasonable, so none were allowed on the streets. An illogical example of the power of this lobby can be found in hospitals. The number of bathrooms for surgeons and surgical staff, proximate to the operating rooms, has been reduced so that there can be wheelchair-accessible bathrooms. Well, there are no surgeons and allied personnel in wheelchairs, given the nature of the work. As some correspondents did point out, when no stall is available and there is a line, anyone can use the designated handicapped stall--if that is the next one to open up. It is a bit of an ethical conundrum that the handicapped want fairness, but fairness for them sometimes results in unfairness to others. Perhaps this is an acceptable trade-off, given the particulars. Prudie's reconsidered opinion is that when an able-bodied person enters a public restroom, and there is a choice of stalls, that person should not go into the handicapped accessible one. Prudie, herself, after undergoing some rather strong e-mail aversion therapy, plans never to step foot in the more spacious stall again. Without Malice Cynthia Gorney's new history of the conflict over abortion could serve as an advertisement for an imperiled form of journalism: the long, meticulously researched narrative of ideas in which unglamorous noncelebrities drive the action. If that sounds off-puttingly worthy even to devotees of serious nonfiction, then too bad for us. Some of the best journalism of the last quarter-century or so belongs to the same genre--Jane Kramer's and John McPhee's and William Finnegan's work for The New Yorker and nearly all the late Anthony Lukas' writing. It is getting harder to do for the very reasons it is worth doing: It can require years of reporting, which doesn't sit well with the keepers of our buzz-driven publishing culture. It demands of its practitioners a quality of listening--even, alert, self-effacing--that seems increasingly rare in this first-person age. It doesn't sell a whole lot of ad space. None of this is to say that narrative nonfiction is some sort of selfless or inherently democratic form. It's not oral history; the author is there on every page, as enticed by vanity as any journalist is--maybe more so, because his is the kind of journalism that aspires most nakedly to the status of literature. But at least these writers confer a kind of dignity on their subjects, if only by attending so closely to people's own explanations of what they believe. And when it comes to showing us the means by which everyday people are taken up by history, how they shape it and are in turn shaped by it, there is no genre more accommodating. In this tradition and with scrupulous fairness, Articles of Faith brings to life the arguments and experiences of sympathetic characters on opposite sides of a great moral divide. Gorney's setting is Missouri, which, as a microcosm for the history of abortion and the opposition to it over the last three decades, is an arbitrary choice; she seems to have chosen it mainly because her editors at the Washington Post sent her there in the late 1980s. In the end, though, the conceit works--partly because St. Louis was the site of the first sit-ins at abortion clinics; partly because it was a Missouri law restricting access to abortion that inspired one of the Supreme Court's most important post- Roe cases, William L. Webster vs. Reproductive Health Services ; partly because we are primed to think of almost any Midwestern state as "typical" in a way that New York or California is not; and mostly because Gorney found two such fundamentally appealing characters there. On one side is Judith Widdicombe, an obstetrical nurse who volunteers at a suicide hotline and can't help noticing how many of the women calling in are pregnant--and desperate about it. This is the late 1960s, abortion is illegal and dangerous, and at the hospitals where Widdicombe works she has seen women bleeding and blue-white with shock in the aftermath of botched abortions--terrified women, dying women. And so Widdicombe, "a big, smart, opinionated woman" with two young sons, a sweet, shy husband who runs a newspaper delivery route, and a modest little pea green house in a nice neighborhood, begins, systematically, to break the law. It is Widdicombe who eventually runs the abortion underground in pre- Roe Missouri, telling women where they can find somebody relatively clean and relatively safe to terminate their pregnancies and sometimes smuggling them into her own spare bedroom afterward to suffer the aftereffects of the operations in clenched-teeth pain. And it is Widdicombe who, in the wake of Roe vs. Wade , opens the first abortion clinic in the state, the Reproductive Health Services of Webster fame. "This was women's business," is how Gorney describes Widdicombe's thinking about what she does. "And, if you were a nurse who took care of women--for that was how Judy thought of her work in labor and delivery, the care of women--you did what they needed you to do, you helped them have the baby or not have the baby, they came to you in crisis, and you eased them to the next place. Either way, it was a kind of delivery." On the other side is Samuel Lee, a would-be seminarian with a ragged beard and the look of "an Old Testament prophet or a Russian monk." Lee is a pacifist and an intellectually serious one. In 1978, inspired by the civil-rights movement and his reading of Gandhi, Lee dreams up and then organizes the first sit-ins at an abortion clinic, and so helps to steer the anti-abortion movement from its polite letter-writing phase to its angry street-theater phase. Lee is convinced that no one has proposed a more logical time for "the moment of an individual person's beginning" than the joining of egg and sperm for the simple reason that there is no more logical time. He compares his moral duty to rail against abortion to his moral duty to intervene if he saw a man on the street beating his child with a club. He is a purist but not a fanatic. One virtue of having chosen these particular characters--a gruff, empathetic nurse instead of a polished, pro-choice lobbyist; a thoughtful, vaguely leftish Catholic as opposed to a fire-breathing evangelic--is that we can live with them for 500 pages or so. But, implicitly, the choice serves a more didactic purpose as well. Articles of Faith makes it abundantly clear that even the most decent people both sides have to offer--people such as Widdicombe and Lee who will occasionally talk to each other instead of merely hurling epithets--can find no real common ground on abortion. Whatever compromise Americans come to on abortion won't be the product of a warm and fuzzy dialogue between pro-choice and pro-life activists. (It is more likely to emerge out of what polls show most nonactivists on the issue believe, namely, that abortion should be, as the slogan goes, "safe, legal, and rare." Call it muddled or call it nuanced, but most Americans seem to want to preserve the right to abortion, pretty much unrestricted, in the first three months, and to allow states to limit it sharply thereafter. They want abortion to be legal, but they think too many people seek it out for the wrong reasons.) As Gorney notes, the well-meaning organization known as Common Ground Network for Life and Choice, a national project that brings pro-choice and pro-life activists together in discussion circles and makes mediators available to help resolve their differences, has succeeded mainly in inflaming partisans on both sides while producing "extremely modest tangible results." The other advantage of this sort of textured narrative is that it inevitably turns up bits of the past that more ideological accounts leave out. Gorney gives us a fascinating glimpse, for example, of the involvement of the clergy in helping women obtain illegal abortions in the late '60s. Widdicombe herself worked for something called the Clergy Referral Service, a network of some 1,000 Protestant ministers across the country who decided it was their pastoral duty to shepherd unhappily pregnant women to underground doctors willing to perform abortions. (They took their lead from the Rev. Howard Moody, a liberal and outspoken Baptist who occupied the pulpit at Judson Memorial Church in Greenwich Village.) This is the kind of history that pro-lifers don't care to discuss, because it suggests the existence of a moral, as well as a political, dimension to abortion rights. The idea that some men of God might regard their commitment to a woman housing a fetus as more important than their commitment to the fetus itself is anathema to people like Lee. And pro-choicers are likely to ignore the abortion-abetting ministers because their own history of the movement puts feminist activists more or less alone on center stage. There are drawbacks to any journalistic genre that requires the writer to stick to one or two main story lines. (Gorney introduces us to hundreds of other activists, but it is Widdicombe and Lee who propel the narrative.) Since Widdicombe is apparently so much less given to moral casuistry than Lee, Gorney sometimes risks leaving us with a vague impression of abortion-rights activists as tough pragmatists at a loss for loftier arguments, and anti-abortion activists as philosophers with a common touch. Lee, whose dedication to both nonviolence and Catholicism soon marginalized him in a movement that had become increasingly dominated by militants and evangelical Christians, is perhaps even less representative than Widdicombe. (For a thorough account of the anti-abortion movement's turn to the right and the new militancy of organizations such as Operation Rescue, readers can refer to the recently published Wrath of Angels: The American Abortion War , by journalists James Risen and Judy Thomas.) Moreover, Gorney ends her book in 1989, with the Supreme Court ruling in Webster . This is hard to justify since the decision marked neither the culmination of the court's thinking on abortion (the Casey ruling in 1992 was at least as influential) nor an obvious turning point in the abortion wars. It caps her story simply because it caps Widdicombe's battle with Lee. Gorney will probably be praised for having drawn unusually nuanced portraits of abortion activists on both sides--humanizing them and in so doing narrowing the gap between them. But her real accomplishment is something like the opposite. The more compassionately and conscientiously she reconstructs Lee's views and Widdicombe's views, the more irresolvable their differences seem. It may be that only this sort of journalism, with its sympathetic attention to the intricacies of its characters' thoughts, could do justice to these differences. Why Saddam Gets Away With It Why have America's Arab allies from Operation Desert Storm been so skittish about a sequel? Saudi Arabia's leaders say they won't let the United States use combat jets stationed in their country in raids against Iraq. Al-Ahram , the main state-owned newspaper of Egypt, recently warned the United States that any strike would be "coercive, aggressive, unwise, and uncaring about the lives of Iraqis." The most outspoken opponent of renewed bombing has been Syria, Iraq's arch-rival. Even the Gulf emirates are nervous. You'd think they'd all be more accommodating. Just eight years ago, with Kuwait occupied and Iraqi troops massed along the Saudi border, the Saudis asked for U.S. help. That unprecedented request, enlisting Western aid in an intra-Arab war, seemed to mark a turning point in Arab politics, triggering a regional reconfiguration of alliances. So why are America's former partners balking? Fouad Ajami helps explain this riddle--and many others--in his new book, The Dream Palace of the Arabs . Ajami, a Lebanese Shiite who now heads Middle East studies at Johns Hopkins University, offers a haunting portrait of a generation of Arab intellectuals forced to come to terms with the West. All too often, he finds, they have failed to do so, preferring the invocation of Arab unity and anti-Western defiance to dealing with the political realities of the Middle East. This is one reason America's threat to bomb Iraq is provoking such resistance. Meddling by the West is still widely unpopular in many parts of the Arab world, even among those who don't relish the thought of Saddam Hussein's chemical and biological weapons. U.S. intervention smacks of the old Western habit of arranging Arab affairs to suit Western convenience. Many Arabs would rather relive the glory days of the 1956 Suez crisis, when the great hero of Arab nationalism, Egypt's Gamal Abdel Nasser, withstood an invasion by Britain, France, and Israel. Ajami empathizes with the frustration engendered by Western inconsistency and arrogance. But he knows that Saddam's brand of nationalism is as much of a dead end as Nasser's proved to be, and he worries that so many Arab intellectuals seem not to mind being taken for another ride. Ajami, the author of The Arab Predicament , the classic 1981 intellectual history of modern Arab political thought, is probably the second most influential Arab-American public intellectual. Pride of place goes to Columbia University's Edward Said, who is no fan of Ajami's. In his groundbreaking 1978 study, Orientalism , Said accused previous generations of scholars of peddling a view of an exotic, backward, savage Orient, the intellectual justification for colonizing or manipulating the region. As Albert Hourani, the dean of Middle East historians, once put it, in a stroke Said changed "Orientalist" from a legitimate academic specialty into an insult. Some of Said's admirers refer to Ajami by the ugly term "Uncle Abu"--a play on Uncle Tom meaning, in this case, an Arab Orientalist. They will note that Ajami takes his new book's title from T.E. Lawrence, the arch-Orientalist British colonel of World War I fame, and they will accuse him of imperialist sympathies. But Ajami, a scrupulous commentator with a rich sense of irony, is using Lawrence to make a subtler point. The Arabs did not build the "inspired dream palace of their national thoughts" that Lawrence sought to give them; they tried to build a dream palace of their own, "an intellectual edifice" influenced by the West but not of the West. Ajami is invoking Lawrence knowingly, to underscore what he views as the central Arab quandary. To Ajami, Lawrence represents both the good side of the West--its ideas of democratic governance, its support for Arab sovereignty--as well as its bad side: Orientalism, meddling. Lawrence and his heirs, the colonial masters from Britain and France, left the Middle East with a complicated legacy of attraction and repulsion. Ajami begins his book with a bang: the suicide of Khalil Hawi, a Lebanese poet who shot himself on the day in 1982 when Israel invaded Beirut. Hawi, a Christian from Mount Lebanon turned big-city academic whose often political poetry had once made him an Arab nationalist hero, despaired over the wider Arab world's abandonment of his beloved Lebanon. The weakest, most fractured Arab state had become the front line for an Israeli-Palestinian war that other Arab countries wanted kept far from their borders. Hawi had also come to detest the willingness of his fellow thinkers to become rented mouthpieces for Lebanon's myriad parties and militias, to cheer as the country imploded. Hawi saw Lebanon's dirty war as a meaningless blood bath rather than as another glorious confrontation with Israel. Through the tragic figure of Hawi, Ajami mourns the tolerant, graceful, cosmopolitan Beirut of his youth and decries the factionalism that led to its ruin. Ajami complains that many Arab writers and pundits prefer simply not to deal with the cruel realities of the Middle East today: the gap between petrodollar wealth in the Gulf and uninspiring economic growth elsewhere; the persistence of autocracy and the failure to develop accountable governments; the debilitating enmity with Israel; the legacy of foreign rule; the influence of Western political ideas and the sheer power of the United States. And so they have fled into pan-Arabism instead. Pan-Arabism dates back to the collapse of the Ottoman Turks in World War I, which paved the way for what the Greek Orthodox writer George Antonius in 1938 famously called the "Arab Awakening"--the prospect of Arab self-rule. Pan-Arabists sought to unify all Arabs across the artificial borders drawn by the Western empires, hearkening back to the glorious Arab caliphates. Britain and France, who vanquished Turkey in the war, had other ideas, and the emergence of real Arab states was deferred. But by the 1950s and 1960s, the awakening seemed underway, led by Nasser and Egypt. The problem was that it didn't work. The Arab states that arose were uninspiring monarchies or autocracies, and Nasser's grand dream of a united pan-Arab state that included Palestine came crashing down with the Arabs' ignominious defeat in the 1967 Six Day War. But despite Nasser's humiliation, die-hards still cling to his legacy and excoriate those who dare doubt its ultimate triumph. Having seen pan-Arabism bankrupted in 1967, more and more Arabs are seeking solutions from the past--in Islamic fundamentalism, which seeks to remodel Muslim societies along the lines of Arabia under the Prophet Mohammed. This path has been smoothed by the nihilism of those Arab intellectuals--including Said--who prefer utopian dreams to a view of politics as the art of compromise. The Arab predicament is most painfully evident in what Ajami calls "the orphaned peace" with Israel. The intellectual guardians of Arab nationalist orthodoxy--Said, the Syrian poet Nizar Qabbani, Egyptian cultural leader Saad Eddin Wahbe, Egyptian editor and pundit Mohamed Heikal--have never accepted the fact of Israel; they cannot envision a world without the rallying cause of anti-Zionism. Nothing could have been more infuriating to them than the sight of Yasser Arafat, the embodiment of Palestinian nationalism, shaking hands with Yitzhak Rabin, Israel's late prime minister. They never forgave Arafat for bowing to what Ajami calls "the logic of brute, irreversible facts." To them, the 1993 Oslo accords meant settling for a sadly truncated form of Palestinian self-rule without extracting an Israeli admission of wrongdoing. Indeed, Said and other rejectionists showed a perverse glee when Israel's dovish Labor Party was defeated by Benjamin Netanyahu's Likud. Here, again, was a world they could understand. "Men love the troubles they know," Ajami witheringly observes. Ajami's heroes are figures such as Egypt's novelist Naguib Mahfuz, the Palestinian academic Sari Nusseibah, and the tragic Hawi--men of integrity imbued with "the old, confident spirit" of cosmopolitanism and an openness to the Western ideas that led to the Arab awakening in the first place. But they are under siege. Mahfuz's secular liberalism so enraged Egypt's Islamists that one fanatic knifed the old man, paralyzing his writing hand. "The political culture of nationalism reserved its approval for those who led ruinous campaigns in pursuit of impossible quests," Ajami writes. Campaigns do not come much more ruinous than Saddam's 1980 invasion of Iran or his occupation of Kuwait a decade later. But Saddam, for all his strategic blunders, is deft at posing as today's heir to the tradition of Arab nationalism. As Bill Clinton ratchets up the pressure on Baghdad, Saddam will inevitably bellow Nasserite defiance. Ajami's book is an indispensable guide to why anyone in the Arab world still listens to it. Rest in Paz There is simply to the influence the poet Octavio Paz enjoyed in Mexico. I lived in Mexico City from the fall of 1989 through the following spring. Those were heady days for Paz. For years, he had challenged the uncritical left-wing rhetoric that dominated Mexico's intellectual life, and now Eastern Europe's abandonment of communism was proving him correct. President Carlos Salinas de Gortari was renegotiating the national debt, getting foreigners to invest again, and in general becoming an international darling (this was four years before he would be unmasked as a criminal and thrown out of the country). Paz was one of his biggest fans. I remember a TV commercial that seemed to appear every three seconds. (At this point there was still for all practical purposes one network, owned by Emilio Azcrraga, a Mexican Rupert Murdoch with whom Paz was rumored to be friendly.) The commercial advertised an exhibit at the contemporary art museum. The show was of, basically, things Octavio Paz found interesting. I looked in the day before I left Mexico and was fascinated and appalled. The first thing you saw was a gallery of pre-Colombian artifacts that had sparked his imagination. There followed a room hung exclusively with colonial-era portraits of Sor Juana Ins de la Cruz, the 17 th century poet whose life Paz told in a superb 1982 biography. And so it went, with room after room displaying whatever caught Paz's fancy. A nook devoted to playful gewgaws by Marcel Duchamp, whom Paz adored. A painting given to Paz by Jasper Johns. But the most amazing feature of the exhibit was in the lobby: Dozens of TV monitors were stacked to create a giant image of the great man's head as he discoursed on this and that. The whole thing looked like a homage to some ancient emperor. It was a creepy, discouraging display. An ironic one, too, given Paz's record as a critic of Mexico's addiction to patriarchal power. All his life, he had seen the temptations up close, and many times he had resisted. His grandfather, a publisher, was allied with the turn of the century dictator whose highhanded rule provoked the Mexican revolution. Late in life he switched sides and took up the doomed cause of liberal democracy. Paz's father worked in turn with the anarchist peasant guerrilla leader Emiliano Zapata, who wanted Mexico to return to its pre-Hispanic, agricultural roots. When that cause, too, failed and, after a decade of blood-spilling, the country ended up with a Byzantine coalition of interests presided over by a strongman, the Paz family went into exile in Los Angeles. So before he was even a teen-ager, Paz had experience in liberalism, anarchism, revolution--not to mention the loneliness of the Mexican kid in inhospitable America. Enthralled by Marx and socialism (even in later years, when foes called him conservative, Paz would insist he was a socialist at heart), the young Paz went to fight Franco in Spain. But it was the idea of instantaneous action by the people that he loved, not the Spanish Communists, with their rigid principles and ugly totalitarian tendencies. He went to Paris and hung out with Surrealists, deepening his sense that a writer's job is to reveal what society tries to repress. Like many well-connected, artistically inclined Mexicans, he got into cushy work that supplied living expenses and food for the imagination: diplomacy. It was while working as a diplomat in Paris that he wrote the book he'll be remembered by. In The Labyrinth of Solitude: Life and Thought in Mexico , Paz drew on his reading of Freud, Marx, and Nietzsche to explore the Mexican cult of death, the phenomenon of the macho, and explosive rituals such as the fiesta. His conclusion: Mexican customs were a kind of mask, a defensive camouflage worn to hide the country's unresolved past. "The whole history of Mexico, from the Conquest to the Revolution, can be regarded as a search for our own selves, which have been deformed or disguised by alien institutions," he wrote. The Revolutionary Institutional Party that took power after the revolution had promised Mexico a new beginning. But instead of providing Mexicans with an idea they could organize a modern community around, it was a touchy compromise that preserved backward attitudes toward power leftover from the Aztecs and colonial Spain: The patriarch protects, is good, powerful, wise. The macho is the terrible man, the chingon , the father who has left, who has abandoned a wife and children. The image of Mexican authority is inspired by these two extremes: Seor Presidente and Caudillo. Much of The Labyrinth now feels dated. It's infused with a mournful 1950s-era Existentialism, and Paz's French influence pushes him into abstraction. In places, his indictment of certain aspects of the Mexican character is so harsh--he accuses his fellow countrymen of pathological passivity and a love of lying--that it verges on masochism. But the book single-handedly invented the way people think about modern Mexico, and it has a tough truthfulness that's still palpable today. Never academic, it proceeds from a simple, urgent question: "What are we, and how can we fulfill our obligations to ourselves as we are?" This is a poet's or a philosopher's approach to history that could fruitfully be applied to any country in the world. (Click to see, for example, how he applies it, with not very flattering results, to the United States.) Paz cemented his reputation for integrity in 1968, when the Mexican government murdered hundreds of students, and he resigned his post as ambassador to India in protest. But gradually, it has to be admitted, he came to suffer a mild case of the very power sickness he had diagnosed. He set up a magazine, Vuelta , to pursue intellectual inquiry free of the Mexican left's more overblown rhetoric. The magazine was and is serious and fresh and distinguished. But Paz's omnipresence was sometimes unhealthy. From high up on his throne, he conducted feuds with those--Carlos Fuentes was one--who disagreed with him. For decades, too much of what was published in Mexico was written either in argument with him or to court his favor. That said, Paz could not have remained on top if he had not remained relevant. Some shrewd inner compass and an unholy supply of curiosity saved him from becoming a relic of the past or an embattled opponent of the present. I won't argue for his poetry, which, while frequently beautiful, is never quite as beautiful to me as his prose. That is gentle and clear, yet so packed with suggestive ideas that it is almost painful to read. While other writers struggled with Paz's definition of the Mexican condition, he wrote about Chinese calligraphy, Japanese haiku, the Marquis de Sade ("an enemy of love," yet paradoxically, a generous man), or obstacles to democracy in India (he always thought there were useful parallels between Mexico's and India's struggles to set up a legitimate government). In his life Paz made himself invulnerable, but in his writing he kept his eyes, ears, and heart open. "A writer should be a guerrilla fighter, should bear solitude and know that he is a marginal being," he once told an interviewer. He never gave up this ideal of marginality, even as he climbed to the top of the pyramid. He was a singular case, both admirable and disturbing: the perennial guerrilla fighter who also became king. If you missed the links within this article, click to read about Kerr's thoughts on . Or, read applied to North Americans. Asynchronic I'd been doing that, going out just after sunset-- the sky a bowl of blue-green light, a basin filled with cold, still seawater. Shops in the advancing dusk looked like fish tanks flooded with neutral overhead lighting that fell on personnel about to close up for the day. When I tugged back a sleeve, the wrist was naked-- forgot my watch again--and both hands chapped and rough. Why do our hands have five fingers, no more, and no less? Zoologists would know. Meanwhile one of the routine, strictly business clocks glimpsed through windows during the rounds of my unofficial beat could substitute for a watch. The first said 6:25; the second, several storefronts down, 6:22; a third, 6:29. Time didn't agree with itself. Tonight, it didn't agree with me, either; but then it never entirely had (and never will?). A white-haired man with olive skin and tattered clothes limped into Met Food and panhandled the clerk, one I recognized, her face mild and familiar as bread. For half a second--strange--it felt permanent, indestructible as the tiny gleam that pearled in the dark pupil of her eye. 6:33 ... And now a go-getter poised at 6:45. Evening star in a sky by then blue-black ink, and I roughly fifteen minutes older, arms dangling at my sides. But no wiser, only a bit farther into the walk, with a sudden hunger pang, the gut's alarm bell, sounding dinner hour. All I'd seen, the streets, the clock-faces, menagerie of the populous city, were saying (so to speak), "Feast your eyes on this." If the banquet had agreed with me, and if I'd had a shelter to return to ... Time had moved in back there, a silent dimension unconcerned that it would turn us out on the street (first you, and after you'd gone, then me), according to some ironclad schedule followed or policed at glacial speed by supervising hands ... Or, worse, when my door swung open, by spidery digitals that glared across the darkened room with their 6:58-- numbers reflected counter, greener, flame-like (detail, the lost-and-found of deity) in the crystal of the watch I left there on the table. Ghosts of Nijinksy Figure skating began to captivate me and my friends when we were 8. We watched Sonja Henie in the movies, we were taken to ice shows, we took lessons, and we had strong views about what we wished to wear while practicing our axels at the public rink. Figure skating wasn't a real sport, comradely and combative like children's ice hockey, which we played in boring skates and unlovely clothes on a frozen pond. It was a romantic and competitive display, emphatically a girl thing. Adorable outfits were a large part of the whole idea. They obviously still are, and not just for girls. My interest in skating withered and died before I was 12, but my evergreen interest in outfits keeps me staring avidly at what is being worn on the ice at the Winter Olympics, even though I now lack much grasp of the rules of the game. I mainly notice that things have come a long way since I was 8. Classic figure skating is now complicated by the development of sensational ice dancing in several categories. The old-fashioned romantic display has been profitably invigorated with sex, fashion, and progressive technical excitement, to say nothing of unceasing soap-operatic drama played out among the participants and spun out in the media. Women's costumes have shed all fake-Nordic touches suggesting conventional winter or conventional cuteness. Gone are the red-lined, black-velvet circular skirts worn with flower-embroidered, white sweaters; the long-sleeved, tight jackets with fur trim at neck and wrists; the little fur hats and snug bonnets. Ice isn't cold any more--it's hot. Costumes suggest the disco dance floor or the hotel ballroom, except when they're suggesting the Frederick's of Hollywood catalog, high-school Shakespeare, or outer space. Most notable is the way men's costumes for this quasisport have largely kept their dignity, while women's have burst into hysterics. The physical risks have become very great for male ice dancers, but their clothes stay conservative. When they don't, scathing commentary appears in the press. The young Russian gold medalist Ilya Kulik got raves for his dazzling skating and nothing but scorn for the yellow-and-black giraffe-print shirt he wore, with more scorn for the gauzy wings on the abstractly designed torso of his other costume. Artur Dmitriev, another Russian gold medalist, also got negative press for his plunging neckline and wrapped sash, apparently too outrageous for pairs skating. The ghost of Vaslav Nijinsky seems to haunt these young Russians in their search for supreme skill at multiple turns in midair and in their willingness to wear brilliant super-ballet gear. The Russian Ballet convention for male costume was established all over the world in the last century, and it allowed any sort of glorious finery above the waist, even with long, plain legs below. Later, under the innovative direction of Sergei Diaghilev, Nijinsky's "Rose" and "Faun" costumes, among others, gave rise to a host of abstract creations for the male body. These have appeared on the dance stage throughout this century, and are now to be seen on Damien Woetzel, Mark Morris, and others. But none of this imaginative freedom seems to have reached the ice, except on Russians. On the other hand, a couple of weeks ago the costume of Frenchman Philippe Candeloro alluded to the tradition of theater rather than that of dance. Candeloro also avoided prolonged whirls in midair, offering some dashing 17 th -century mimed swordplay instead. Thigh-high black boots rose startlingly up from his skates, set off by a laced-up white doublet with big slashed sleeves and a big collar. His long hair and mustache, his black gloves, and his sturdy, buff-clad behind made his leaps and lunges most historical, the whole thing being quite rare for a free-style skating solo. He called it "D'Artagnan," but it could have been Cyrano, or anybody in Molire. Shakespeare was gaudily invoked a few days later by a French couple doing "Romeo and Juliet" in matching bright blue, bejeweled Renaissance outfits. But in most cases the ballroom convention governs the clothes for traditional pairs skating and affects ice dancing too, keeping male ice performers looking fairly sober. Men's skating costumes are strictly simple and symmetrical, beginning with long, black trousers that invoke Fred Astaire, even when worn with a loose, rolled-sleeved, open-necked black shirt, or with various Star Trek effects above the waist. Male skating costume, like male evening dress, is still meant to offset the fantastic extremes of the women's costumes, which run to exposure, asymmetry, and fluttering ornament, just like Ginger Rogers' dancing dresses in the early 1930s. Sparkles now seem OK for everything, even for men's black pants and neat jackets. Metallic fabric, rhinestones, or sequins may coat both him and her, the better to mesmerize us equally as we track them flashing past. Not for skates, though--no glitz on the business end. There is an astonishing array of inventions in women's costumes, where all the most dangerous aesthetic risks are currently being taken. But some things are constant. For pairs skating, women's skates must be white, and unfortunately very big. These used to look fine with fur-trimmed jackets, but they look quite different with mini-ball-dresses or virtual underwear, and they looked grotesque on tiny Oksana Baiul in her pink swan-queen outfit at Lillehammer, Norway, in 1994--the too-direct reference to traditional ballet suddenly made her skates look ungainly. For ice dancing, skates are often flesh-colored to match the tights, and the leg may sweep all the way to the end. Costumes have more scope, however; some tend toward approximations of current fashion, with many ponytails, little bandeaux under boleros, and several bare midriffs, along with S&M trappings in better or worse arrangements, and a range of recent and remote historical allusions. Whatever the costume, it must go with tights and skates, it should enhance the skater's performance, and the rules say it must have a skirt. But this can mean two panels fore and aft, eight overlapping panels, a flippy circle, a foot-long sheath with a slit, a stiff 6-inch flange, a knee-length drift of chiffon. Above the waist, we might see an asymmetrical patch of salmon pink and another of black making one breast look heavy and the other one look absent; or we can see the simple black-velvet scoop-neck top above the fluttering yellow silk skirt worn by Oksana Kazakova, the two colors perfectly balanced by the two flashing white skates below. A dress in any bright single color tends to be great; two colors in several patchy sections tends to be dreadful, especially when mixed with patches of bare skin. Slanted hemlines are bad; slit skirts are good. A ponytail with a lot of feathers or fluff holding it together is no good; hair that neatly caps the head, whether in a bob or a bun, is very good. Anything that looks as if it might get in a partner's mouth and eyes or slap his face is bad; any material that caresses the thighs is better than a fabric that smacks them. I could go on; but I'll wait until next winter. Veil of Tears Last week I was in Istanbul, visiting friends and monuments and taking note of what everybody was wearing. Turkey is 98 percent Muslim, but it has put an end to theocratic rule. Its government and public education system are secular, and both emphasize equality of the sexes. Turkish women got the vote in 1935, 10 years ahead of women in France. I was curious to see how traditional Muslim customs interact with modern fashion in a city where East has been meeting West for so many millennia. I'd already had some exposure to the mixture in Cairo, but Egypt is a North African country (94 percent Muslim), very far in spirit from Turkey. Istanbul, for example, is much closer to Odessa than it is to Baghdad. Islam is notorious for veiling its women, but such veiling was once universal. Old engravings show draped, enveloping clothes for Muslim women that are not very different from ancient Greek and Roman women's clothes or early medieval clothes and that are, in fact, similar to early forms of peasant women's clothing all over eastern Europe. Islamic women were then simply following standard ancient-world custom, which required that the head be veiled when the woman was outdoors and that the body never be exposed except in private. All around the Mediterranean, modesty was considered the primary female virtue, its public expression necessary for an ordered human society. Female physical beauty was viewed as an incendiary and corrupting influence that could lead to lawlessness, social disorder, and anarchy. Only after European fashion hit its stride in the 16 th century, with women flaunting sculptured curls, rouged cheeks, and exposed chests in public, did the veiled Arab lady begin to look so alien, so alluring, and eventually so infuriating to Western sensibilities. In the era following the Renaissance, Western women's beauty was made to function both as a creative force and as a commodity in a Europe expanding through commerce and conquest. Nude girls representing Truth and Virtue began to appear on public monuments. Titian painted great ladies young and old, saints, goddesses, and successful prostitutes, all equally delicious to look at. The virtuous but lively daughters of Protestant capitalists were encouraged to show some ankle and make advantageous marriages. Fashion-prints were published and studied. Well-placed married ladies in low cut dresses ran salons, manipulating social forces and influencing literature and politics. Female beauty helped to modernize the world. Islam would have none of this. Female influence was potent and important, but it functioned covertly. Female beauty was valued, but it was nobody's business. Even today, traditional Muslim women wear a long straight dress with high neck and long sleeves, and a folded head cloth that wholly hides the forehead and hair, the ears, neck, and bust. The look of such traditional Islamic dress commands instant respect from a modern beholder. It has the authority of unself-conscious ancient custom, and the costume forms a fine visual contrast to the vagaries of fashion in modern cities. The style is harmonious, dignified, and not impractical. I saw gear much like it on Hindu women in Nepal, who would wrap and tuck some of the veil around the midsection, carrying groceries, the baby, and other sundries in its overlapping folds. The spirit of the outfit, however, is utterly alien to Western assumptions. To present-day eyes, expressions of extreme female modesty seem subversive, a stumbling block to the sane ordering of human affairs. Keeping women in the dark, wrapping them up in public like so many identical packages, is felt to corrode the social fabric, not strengthen it; to stunt, not nourish a country's modern political life. It feels that way in Istanbul, too. Many women there display the range of hairstyles and cosmetics and physical exposure found in any big city. But many more women wear a new version of pointedly Islamic costume. Below the neck, they wear modern clothes and shoes. But on their heads, they wear a modern silk scarf, a Gucci look-alike or a Herms knockoff folded close around the face to hide a third of it, along with the ears, the whole neck, and every scrap of hair. This quasimodern Islamic "veil" makes a self-conscious religious point in a secular society. The effect is very disturbing. This head scarf recently caused a furor in Turkish schools and universities, when an old law prohibiting its use was suddenly enforced. A similar prohibition was attempted a few years ago in Paris. France has universal religious tolerance, as Turkey does, and as part of their religion, young Muslim Parisiennes were demanding the right to wear this same hybrid scarf in school. Americans, familiar with the Jewish yarmulke or even the Sufi turban, have a hard time understanding why these two states would find this harmless religious practice improper. But they do. Looking at thousands of examples of it in Istanbul, I came to see the problem. Women wearing short skirts and smart shoes who fold a modish scarf on their heads in the ancient veil-like manner are trying to have it both ways. Unlike the yarmulke, which is strictly symbolic, the folded scarf is functional. Like the original veil, it serves to create the conditions of female modesty. No wonder many hate it in France, especially for schoolgirls, who are meant to mix with others on an equal footing in all respects; and in determinedly modernized Turkey, too. The girls who wish to wear the scarf in Turkey say it represents Muslim female empowerment, and they consider themselves oppressed if it's forbidden. They may claim this, but their very appearance in these scarves cancels that interpretation. Those who object to them seem closer to the mark in fearing that the scarves signal a rising fundamentalist opposition to the secular principles on which modern Turkey was founded. The girls who believe the scarves mean freedom may in fact be blinded by them. They may not realize their complicity in a movement that seems likely ultimately to take such freedom away. Every time I saw an Istanbul girl with a silk scarf pinching her head and reducing her face, I would think, heavens, take it off, let me show you how to wear it becomingly with your nice suit--and then I would remember that, above the shoulders, unattractiveness is the whole point. It was startling to me how unnoticeable the attractions below the neck became without a personality to avow them. A tightly wrapped head, with encapsulated eyes, nose, and mouth, doubtless suited the publicly shrouded female of antiquity, whose intelligence flowered wholly unseen. It seems suitable in Saudi Arabia, for example, where women can't vote, since it squashes public expression along with hair. But in modern Istanbul, the scarf completely depersonalizes the shapely legs and curving torso displayed in contemporary clothes below it. The woman looks brainless, an antique statue of Venus with no head. It is really too bad that such inhibiting headgear, a complex Islamic tradition, has lately acquired the status of a strict religious law, which it never was. The modest Muslim veil is in fact betraying its ancient and honorable reluctance to take on the aggressive flavor of fanaticism. Orthodox Judaism, likewise devoted to the suppression of women's hair, has long since solved the problem another way, with fashionable wigs. Islam has refrained from such an expedient. Meanwhile the ancient chaste Islamic veil and dress persist in countries where they have never been challenged, and they cohabit, more or less, with modern fashion if the two don't try to blend. In any case, I was interested to notice that no Herms-like silk scarves casually grazed secular female clavicles in Istanbul. The sexy girls with terrific hair would dashingly toss a couple of yards of plain wool around their necks; no sign of bright printed silk. Shiny stacks of beautiful scarves are sold in the Grand Bazaar, for Muslim girls to wrench into veils and for tourists to flaunt in New York. Drawing the Line Fashion columnists have been suggesting that the chic woman's skirt will fall below the knee next fall. Meanwhile, Parisian store windows are full of columnar skirts meant to graze the shoe tops, and women in the street adhere in great numbers to the miniskirt--that is, anything 3 inches or more above the knee. The movable hemline goes on being a key visual element in the theater of female appearance. Wherever the line is drawn, a suggestive point is being made about female legs--about their provocative relationship to the pelvis and to the eager glance of the beholder. Pants just can't offer anything quite like it. Popular fashion history claims that the Modern Woman was created when women gave up corsets. But that moment never quite occurred, at least not as it has been portrayed. Women have been shaping their bodies to suit shifting ideas of feminine beauty not only for centuries before modernity but ever since. The temporary abandonment of tight little waists represented no more than a change in method. The most important moment in the modernization of female dress was when women cut off their skirts for good. That was just before World War I, about a decade before the second most important moment, when they cut off their hair for good. These two radical acts made irreversible transformations in female appearance. They created a new shape for women, dynamic and changeable--and yet somehow so permanent that the little female logo on the women's restroom can doubtless keep her knee-length skirt and chin-length hair forever. No matter how low or high women's hemlines become or how much their hair length varies, the point of all such changes--including those in store for us next fall--is to show that women have the choice to lift their skirts and crop their hair. Before the 20 th century, they didn't. Long skirts, like long hair, had been required for women by religious law and general custom since time immemorial. During the 600 years when fashion developed its own history, both skirts and hair were considered immutable, even when fashion went to extremes. There were moments of deviation--the bloomer costume, for example, with full trousers showing below short skirts--but they never lasted long. The arrival of women's legs in the first quarter of this century was a genuine shock. Women's legs were known to be there, but they were meant to be seen and judged privately. Women's legs obey mechanical laws, of course, and move apart while they are being used. Watching them do that has always been a volatile matter for the male viewer. Throughout all those heavily skirted centuries, men paid good money to watch women's legs prancing, kicking, and leaping on the stage, since on the street, the shift of weight was about all that could be discerned. The mythology of the feminine had a lot to do with the veiling of a woman's lower half. The thick, floor-length skirt produced the sense of complex, secret treasures difficult (and perhaps unwise) to discover. It's not surprising that at the beginning of this century women who wished to declare a new parity with men, to escape feminine mystery and enter female reality, should shun male gear. It was too frivolous and perverse. Instead, they remodeled the skirt. If a skirt could be shorter and simpler, female legs and feet could be seen at work, the normal action of knees and thighs would be apparent under its neat shape, and a woman could at last be seen to make strides. Her brains and her feet could be seen to connect, and she would become a normal human being. Skirts had risen above the ankle by 1913, went up nearly to the knee during the war in 1915-17, and had a steep postwar drop back down to the ankle in 1922, a steep rise to mid-knee in 1925, another drop in 1929, and so on. Once off the ground, the skirt's exact length became a burning issue, first about hellfire itself, since a woman with visible legs was seen by many to be walking toward her damnation. Then a range of personal worries about the exact level of the hem came into play. Shorter might be too silly or too daring, longer too staid or too sultry, either choice might be too modish or too tawdry. Such uncertainties stirred up ever-ready fashion hatred and made the hemline into a derogatory synonym for fashionable change. Legs turned out to be problematic: The free-swinging or up-sliding hem invited not only the eye but the hand. It soon became clear that dispelling mystery involved more than compelling ordinary respect. With the miniskirt of 1965, the public received another shock. Pants gave skirts freedom to be outrageous, and up they went to within an inch of the crotch. And there many of them stay, with all the other lengths proposed in the 20 th century, including back down to the floor and even trailing. The miniskirt was a truly revolutionary departure. The heavy threat of the ancient long skirt was long forgotten--that's not what miniskirts rebelled against. The miniskirt arrived not only as a separate garment but also as the bottom of a little dress, worn with big, teased-out hair and big, blunt-toed shoes. Suddenly, everybody began to look like Shirley Temple in her singing child-star days--all bouncy hair and wiggly legs, with a tiny dress in the middle--no waist, no breasts, no hips, and pale lipstick went with it. The look was a bid to be a little girl again, with all a little girl's irresponsible eroticism. Adult female reality was proving too hard, perhaps. All real little girls' dresses from the '20s to the '60s had been crotch-length. In those years, no adult skirts ever rose that high, except maybe on the ice--tiny skirts were conventionally part of the innocence of childhood. But as soon as the miniskirt became part of the adult erotic arsenal, little girls' dresses sank below the knee, right where they had been in mid-Victorian times and where they still are, guarding traditional female decorum as their elders' skirts no longer do. The sexiness of children has lately been thoroughly acknowledged, which may be why their tasty little legs are now conventionally covered. The original miniskirt had another revolutionary side--it was another theft by women from men, only disguised. Pants were an old story, and they were no longer strictly male; but the 1960s short-tunic-and-tights costume, especially when worn with high boots, cropped hair, and a hip-level belt, seemed to put girls into the clothes of Renaissance youths, so they looked like Carpaccio dandies or Ghirlandaio toughs. Daggers were not added, but the effect of privileged male freedom was very telling--maybe with a touch of Joan of Arc. Girls in such androgynous gear looked ready for any adventure. All such Robin Hood allusions have long since been extinguished. There followed the epoch of leg warmers and other mutations into the aerobics class look. Miniskirts withdrew from such sweaty connotations, emphasizing instead their harmony with classic jackets. These days, most miniskirts stop quite a few inches below the crotch. They have mainstream acceptance and no shock value, and are worn by young career women and old grandmothers alike. Though many girls still wear their skirts very, very short, novelty has lately required increasing their length, not their brevity--and many new long skirts are resembling South Sea wraparounds, often gauzy, to suggest more exotic freedoms, newer ways for longer skirts to seduce. Once everybody goes in for length, let's give it about three years--the same period as between 1922 and 1925, say--and then expect another rise, with other connotations. The fashion business sees to it that interest in shifting skirt lengths is never exhausted. But perhaps after a hundred years of skirts that liberate and expose, women will again feel the desire for fullness, drag, and bulk in their skirts; for the chance to swish, trail, and sweep; to swing heavy fabric from the hips; maybe even to lift heavy folds in front of the belly--or simply to have another way of muffling unsatisfactory legs with something that isn't pants. The couture ball dress and the standard wedding dress do, after all, keep suggesting the possibility, and Madonna's Oscar outfit this year suggests that full gowns have even attained the status of something avant-garde. Nichols and Nora My favorite story about acting happened minutes before the filming of a crucial scene in Marathon Man in Central Park. Dustin Hoffman had to appear physically exhausted, so half an hour before the shoot, he jogged rapidly three, four, five times around the reservoir, then staggered up to his co-star, Laurence Olivier, and gasped that he was ready. Baffled by Olivier's nonchalance, Hoffman, still breathing hard, asked him how he prepared for a scene. "Prepare?" Olivier replied, carefully setting down his cup of tea and languidly rising from his chair. "I don't prepare. I pretend." One reason I love the story is that it so symmetrically counters the usual assumptions about the difference between American and English acting--the spill-your-guts Americans and the technically polished English, the American search for "emotional truth" and the English displays of mere skill. Hoffman, for all his straining after naturalistic verisimilitude, remained dependent on acting-class exercises, while Olivier, for all his years of training, had so deeply integrated technique into his being that, like a classical pianist, he could stop thinking about it the moment he began performing. In short, it's the difference between talent and genius--between Glenn Close proficiently performing her character's attributes one by one ("Look at me, I'm acting!") and Marlon Brando intuitively discovering his character's essence ("Look at me, I'm alive!") and conveying all his ambiguities and contradictions simultaneously. These thoughts were occasioned by what I regard as without question the two most enthralling performances of the decade--and I hasten to temper such a superlative with a dose of irony. Mike Nichols' performance in Wallace Shawn's The Designated Mourner (the filmed version of the London production of the play) has been universally praised but, by the time the Oscars roll around next March, will surely be overlooked. Janet McTeer's Broadway performance in Ibsen's A Doll's House , on the other hand, has been both widely honored and roundly reviled--she won the Tony for best actress last Sunday, but among the reviews were several sputtering fulminations. Jack, Nichols' character in The Designated Mourner , is a former graduate student of English literature who, in his own description, "went downhill from there." His wife, Judy, and her father, Howard, are members of the intelligentsia in an unnamed country in the near future, and the story--told by the three characters seated at a table in direct address to the camera--involves the gradual destruction of their lives by an oppressive regime, and the moral disintegration of Jack, the eponymous survivor. A man characterized by envy and cynicism, superficial wit and subterranean rage, ceaseless introspection and emotional detachment, insufferable smugness and barely concealed self-loathing, Jack is a bundle of apparent contradictions. In describing Nichols' interpretation, the problem of technique immediately arises, because to give examples of specific line readings suggests that he's merely made a sequence of acting choices, when what makes his performance so engrossing is his ability to embody all these aspects of his character at once. Now cynicism comes to the fore, now rage, now a brief interlude of tenderness, but their opposites also are always present--for Nichols is embodying the character, not the character's characteristics. Watch Nichols in his most typical gesture. He ducks his chin onto his chest, bobs his head back and forth, gulps as if stifling a burp, then suddenly lifts his head and expresses a thought that not only seems to have just occurred to him, but which also seems to have struggled with conflicting emotions before emerging. A technique, certainly, but one so expressive of character that it never occurs to us that he's reciting a text. At times he speaks in short, halting phrases, pausing between the most unlikely words, and then he'll rush through a series of phrases so quickly that he'll nearly run out of breath and almost gasp out the last words--rhythm as characterization, his cadences revealing the contours of his troubled spirit as concisely as his words. It's tempting to go on for paragraphs. How can one overlook the abruptly truncated laugh, for instance, that conveys a perplexed intellect? Or the voice suddenly shifting from silky to raspy when derision erupts from his muddled emotions? But each moment remains significant only as it traces the trajectory of his spiritual deterioration. Finally, when he learns that Judy has been murdered, he can barely breathe, his anguish seems nearly unendurable, but it's only a momentary spasm, he regains his soulless equanimity, and as he quietly intones his last lines--"The greatest pleasure in life [is] the sweet, ever-changing caress of an early evening breeze"--we realize we've witnessed the exquisitely ironic fusion of elegy and despair, the inseparable linking of a brilliant text and a superb performance. Every actress would like to play the most legendary Nora but, for much of the first act, Janet McTeer seems to want to play the most irritating. She's an unusually sexy Nora, but in an annoyingly kittenish way: flighty and fluttery, as the role calls for, but with a whimpering and giggling nervousness. This Nora, we begin to think, isn't so much a woman as a collection of manic mannerisms. But we gradually realize that this Nora, in fact, is playing the role that's expected of her--merely "playing tricks," as she says in the last act--and that there's another Nora beneath the childlike silliness that will astonish even her. There is so much she's not allowed to experience, much less express--her native intelligence, her creative energy, her increasing unhappiness--so much that can emerge only in distortion. McTeer's bold choice to play Nora as far more fraught than usual at the beginning of the play--with a hyperanimation that, in her increasing frustration, becomes nervous exhaustion and eventually a kind of hysterical dementia--allows her to make Nora's transformation at the end at once more plausible and more powerful. Some critics have suggested that her performance--like most performances of the role--turns Nora into two different and irreconcilable characters, the domestic doll and the feminist icon. But, on the contrary, she subtly provides the psychological continuity between these two aspects of her character. In the opening scenes, for instance, even as McTeer enacts Nora's dependence on her husband, she shows the cunning that is the only outlet for the character's acute and sensitive mind--submission as manipulation. This is no ninny--this is a woman forbidden to use her intelligence. And even as she proclaims her happiness, McTeer's Nora reaches compulsively for her macaroons with a hint of voracity that hints at her dissatisfaction. Nora's jittery, skittery behavior is charming in a way. It's certainly the kind of self-abasing flirtatiousness her husband finds seductive. (McTeer's decision to play Nora's marriage as erotically electric makes Nora's decision to leave all the more difficult, and all the more shattering.) But when her web of lies begins to unravel and he calls her "pretty bird," she rolls her eyes in a gesture at once accepting of his flattery, aware of her deceit, and resentful of his condescension. She knows nothing of this consciously but, in dozens of such gestures, McTeer reveals the unconscious conflation of Nora's conflicts--the way her wildly unfocused energy is the consequence of her inner turmoil, of both social oppression and emotional repression. Over and over, McTeer portrays a Nora with a capacity for feeling she herself refuses to recognize and a capacity for insight frustrated by her familial role. When she hears herself saying that being with her husband is "like being with papa," she pauses for a second, then flashes her eyes with something close to a recognition of primal sin, utters a sound somewhere between a hysterical giggle and a shriek of horror, and rushes across the room as if in flight from her own words. By the final confrontation with her husband, McTeer has so skillfully foreshadowed Nora's transformation that, though it seems bewilderingly abrupt to her, it seems emotionally inevitable to us. Gone are her neurotic mannerisms. Nora now sits in an ominous stillness. "I'm saved," her husband says after the arrival of the forgiving letter. "What about me?" Nora responds, with a touch of meekness but at last with a sense of her separable self. Out of her stillness she suddenly shrieks, not as an appeal but as a demand, "I'm a human being!" Most astonishingly--for the first time in my experience of half a dozen Noras--McTeer even manages to make Nora's single most famous line ring true. When her husband says that no man would sacrifice his integrity for another person, Nora has to reply, "Hundreds of thousands of women have"--an impossible line for the character, a line in which it is not Nora speaking but Ibsen himself. McTeer's solution? She lowers her voice a full octave and intones the words in a constrained fury--the voice not of Nora but of wronged women forever. The trouble with this kind of detailed analysis is it implies that any competent craftsman could carefully study the performer's techniques and replicate them--Hoffman's "preparation." We can only be grateful that they can't, that Nichols and McTeer become rather than enact their characters--Olivier's "pretending." Perhaps all we can say of great acting is that it involves assimilation rather than accumulation, that the performer isn't so much a surrogate as a vessel. There's paradox in artifice. The supreme tragedies leave us not devastated but exhilarated, and the sublime actors, the moment their performances begin, stop acting. The Life and Vines of Tarzan What's Wrong With Being a Momma's Boy? Michael Lind ("") needs to get a grip. It's a kids' movie, my friend, and it is as true to the original text as it can be in our politically correct times. A more "feminized" society is not the repressed, horrible existence Lind portrays--why are less violence, less aggression, less machismo, less extremist Darwinism, and greater sensitivity bad things? Let's face it, people like Hitler took their "survival of the fittest" theory out of hand and the result was far from pretty. And anyway, a guy who knows how to treat his mother well is way sexier than a guy who thinks he's too cool and manly to care for his family. Maybe Lind is grumpy because he wouldn't look quite so hot in a loincloth by conventional standards of beauty. -- Ann Stanton Euclid, Ohio Book Clubbing Might I respond to Eric Alterman's sarcastic remark ("") that I "graciously declined" to reply to a column by him in The Nation attacking my New Republic "Diarist" on Yale University Press and its series on communism? For the second time--the first was in a letters exchange in The Nation --Alterman has somehow inferred that my silence connoted acquiescence with his article. Since Alterman did not point out any factual inaccuracies in my Diarist and since he defended the notion that Russians were sent to the Gulag legally, I thought his article too trivial and silly to merit a response. But because Alterman ungraciously persists in depicting me as having repudiated my own article, I feel obliged, for what it's worth, to note that I think it holds up perfectly well. -- Jacob Heilbrunn Senior editor, the New Republic Washington Eric Alterman replies: Jacob Heilbrunn has messed up yet again. I intended no sarcasm in crediting him with sensibly refusing to defend what was clearly a shoddy and indefensible piece of work. I thought he was showing some class. Heilbrunn calls my objections to his Diarist "trivial" and "silly." Let's say he's right. Why, then, did conservative historians Harvey Klehr and John Earl Haynes feel a need to condemn Heilbrunn as well in letters published in TNR 's own letters section? Why did the equally conservative Richard Gid Powers call Heilbrunn's accusations against Yale "absurd" and existing "only in the minds of the pathologically suspicious" on the same page? Why did even the venerated anti-Stalinist historian Robert Conquest call Heilbrunn's article "unfair" and "exaggerated"? Why did the director of Yale University Press, John Ryden, insist in a letter to more than a hundred people that, "TNR 's Editor-in-Chief Martin Peretz has admitted that Heilbrunn's piece is unfounded and should not have been published." (Peretz denies this.) Are the criticisms of Harvey Klehr, John Earl Haynes, Robert Conquest--and if Ryden is to be believed--even Heilbrunn's boss, Marty Peretz, among many others, all too "trivial" and "silly" to merit a response as well? Or was a strategic silence really the right response for Heilbrunn after all? Criticizing the Kosovo Critics Thank you for William Saletan's brilliant analysis ("") of the war. As a lifelong conservative and Republican, who feels that President Clinton defamed the office of the presidency, I was amazed that all the major conservative commentators and politicians were against the U.S. action. After all, the previous Republican administrations had sent troops into Somalia for humanitarian reasons, and yet the operation was largely a failure. I believe the prevailing Republican opinion was largely generated from an anti-Clinton feeling, particularly after a failed attempt at removing him from office. One commentator said that we should have provided the Kosovo Liberation Army with weapons but not sent our troops. Imagine if the United States had adopted this isolationist policy during World War II. The face of Europe might look quite a bit different. -- Gary Spiegel Los Angeles Retire the World's Policeman William Saletan showed more than a little bias in the piece about the Republican condemnation of the Clinton administration's actions in Kosovo (""). What were we really doing bombing Serbia? Maybe extending the ideas of a "New World Order" in which hard-working Americans are expected to pay the price not only of our freedom, but of the freedom of the whole world. We had no business in any of the NATO actions; there was no real possibility of this expanding throughout the region as everyone in the administration was spouting. It didn't concern our energy supply--not much oil comes out of Kosovo. They were not a direct threat to our national security. They were not a world threat such as Germany or Japan was in World War II. So what were we really doing there? And what of the atrocities? Were they going on before the bombing started? Do we have proof of that? Maybe these atrocities began from the outrage of the Serbians knowing that their cities, homes, and factories were getting bombed, and their brothers and sisters being killed. -- Gary W. Meadows Spring, Texas Buckley Barks Back Last week, William F. Buckley Jr. read a Slate "Book Club" about his latest novel, The Redhunter: A Novel Based on the Life and Times of Senator Joe McCarthy , and decided enough was enough. One of the Clubbers, Eric Alterman, had called Buckley's book "a lumbering, themeless pudding of a novel that forces one's eyelids shut like an invisible vise." The other, Ronald Radosh, had described it as "heavy and plodding, without any real juice to it." Buckley weighed in, defending his work against all charges aesthetic, historical, and ideological, and quoting a critic writing in Buckley's own National Review , who deemed the book "wonderfully readable ... a witty, fast-moving yarn." Now Buckley has asked Slate to run the following excerpt from the book, so that readers can judge for themselves. We are delighted to oblige. Click for the excerpt. Missing Links When Time-Life bought the Zapruder film rights the day after JFK's murder, a company executive said the footage was so horrific that the 22 second film would be locked away forever. As of a few weeks ago, however, you could pick up a digitally enhanced, more horrific than ever version for 20 bucks at the corner video store. (Time surrendered its rights in 1975, the year Geraldo Rivera first broadcast the film on television.) Most people already know the imagery--after all, Oliver Stone presented it in Panavision--and probably regard it as a valuable "clock" of the assassination, one that created problems for the Warren Commission. Among other things, the film led to a "magic bullet" thesis to account for a lot of wounds from three rapid shots and, later, to the "neurospasm" and "jet effect" theories to account for JFK's "head snap" reaction to the final shot. Assassinologists have argued for years that the Zapruder film alone confounded any lone gunman thesis. Many still think so, but in recent years a late-stage hard core of Z-film specialists has developed a different view. Watching dupes year after year, measuring prints with calipers, subjecting the movie to "vector analysis" and performing their own stopwatch experiments, these critics (including several academics) have discovered the film is not merely evidence of conspiracy but is also a part of the plot. That is, it's a fake--or, as one contemptuous critic describes it, "a cartoon." How did the Zapruder film become, in one professor's phrase, "itself an instrument of conspiracy"? The film is known to have been copied at Washington, D.C.'s National Photographic Interpretative Center, though nobody knows when. In one conspiracist scenario, it was rushed to NPIC from the Dallas lab where Zapruder had left it. In five feverish hours, CIA experts edited and optically manipulated the film to mask what had really happened. Faked prints were rushed back to Dallas just in time to be given to Zapruder. When other Dealey Plaza home movies surfaced, they too were "collected" and altered to match. The result is "the hoax of the century." But it hasn't fooled everyone. In their haste, the purported hoaxers left behind evidence of tampering. Back in 1975, Robert Groden, a conspiracist specializing in image trickery, argued in Rolling Stone that frames were missing. (The same Groden testified in the O.J. Simpson civil trial that the Bruno Magli photos were fake.) Groden thought 10 frames were gone, but the stakes on "missing frames" have since risen: One pair of critics now theorizes that three times as many frames were exposed as we see today, that two-thirds of the "original" film has been removed. How can anyone tell? Among the many clues offered in Assassination Science , a 1998 anthology that devotes 200 pages to proof that the film is a fraud: People make supposedly implausible moves between frames, the "blink" pattern on the presidential limo's front lights is said to be uneven, the awful results of the head shot can't possibly have lasted only one frame (the horrible Frame 313). David Lifton, famous for his theory that JFK's body was surgically altered before the autopsy, has written elsewhere that portions of the head shot sequence look suspiciously dark to him and that some of JFK's "movements" may be special effects. But other Z-film critics argue the film is almost entirely special effects: that the grassy background one sees is surely a repeated matte shot, because nobody in it moves; that the head shot sequence features an optical zoom to eliminate foreground figures and make it easier to manipulate; that the head shot itself is an optically collapsed version of two more widely separated hits. Oddly, there is even a claim that JFK's shocking head snap, among the biggest challenges to the lone gunman thesis, didn't happen and is a CIA special effect. So what did the real Zapruder film reveal? To these researchers, it contained incontrovertible proof of conspiracy (more shots, say), but just what that proof was depends on which conspiracy each believes in. A few theorists believe the lost footage showed an assassin actually shooting JFK. No, not Black Dog Man, who looms indistinctly over the grassy knoll in other Dealey Plaza imagery and who may or may not be seen on the Z-film at Frame 413. The assassin these theorists have in mind is William Greer, the driver of JFK's own car, who purportedly braked, drew his gun, and delivered the coup de grce in the middle of the motorcade. Perhaps the original Zapruder film still exists. Texas' Hunt family may have a copy, according to a man who claims he picked it up for them; or maybe there's a copy at NBC, where one woman says she watched it. But the real question about the film--in this context, the inevitable question--was raised by longtime conspiracist Harrison Edward Livingstone in his 1995 book, Killing Kennedy . "Is it possible," asks Livingstone, "that Zapruder was a plant?" Livingstone's theory is that "the masterminds" behind the murder wanted a film they could alter. Otherwise, he writes, the whole sequence of events is just "too convenient." Thus, on close scrutiny, the Zapruder film's ultimate revelation is that Abraham Zapruder was himself a conspirator. At least it gives the film a surprise ending. Summer of Spam Spike Lee is a virtuoso filmmaker, a wizard at selling a sequence, but he'll never make an entirely coherent movie until he learns to go deeper into his subjects instead of wider with them. In Summer of Sam , the latest Spike Lee Joint, he substitutes panorama for point of view, piling on perspectives until the picture becomes a shambles--a Spike Lee Disjoint. The film, with its mostly white Italian characters, was drafted by actors Victor Colicchio and Michael Imperioli (the thickheaded nephew on HBO's The Sopranos ) and then revised--and embellished and tarted-up--by Lee. Summer of Sam is consequently several movies in one. The thing that links them all is a time and place--New York in the summer of 1977. A hot one. And we know from this director's Do the Right Thing (1989) that during hot ones the essential self comes out--the essential self for Lee being hate-filled and destructive. Racist, too, but race is confined to the margins of this story. Here, men and women dress in polyester, line up to get into discos, snort cocaine, cheat on their spouses, and have sex with imperfect strangers. It's the most jittery of periods, both exhibitionistic and paranoid, and David Berkowitz--the self-proclaimed Son of Sam--emerges from the ocean of decadence like a toxic monster, a puritanical avenger. What are the sundry strands in Summer of Sam ? The whole mess is introduced by Jimmy Breslin, one-time recipient of Berkowitz's most hammily psychotic missives, who says, "There are 8 million stories in the Naked City, and this is one." Does Lee want us to giggle at this clich-spouting hack or to feel nostalgic for an era in which tabloids were so unself-consciously purple? Probably both. For his part, Lee is self-consciously purple. In a garish, green- and crimson-lit hovel, Berkowitz (Michael Badalucco) screams and writhes on his mattress while a neighbor's dog barks at eardrum-buckling volume. The dog later issues orders in the voice of John Turturro, the actor having evidently run out of human weirdos to impersonate. Son of Sam's subsequent killings are loud and splattery, photographed in the style of Halloween --which was filmed, maybe not so coincidentally, in 1977. The opening makes you think that Summer of Sam will be a police procedural, a step-by-step hunt for a serial killer. It is, but only in tiny, widely spaced patches. As it turns out, Son of Sam himself is a kind of red herring. The real drama unfolds in the Bronx, a setting for several of the murders, where the combination of heat, terror of the .44-caliber killer, and a piggishly macho culture create a breeding ground for lynch-mob hysteria. It doesn't do much for marriages, either. The film's dim protagonist is an Italian stud hairdresser named Vinnie (the distractingly Latino-looking John Leguizamo), who skips out on his pretty, ingenuous wife, Dionna (Mira Sorvino), at a disco to have sordid sex in a car with her cousin. Driving home at the end of the evening, he passes the spot where he parked for his quickie and sees that it's surrounded by police cruisers and yellow crime-scene tape. A couple lie dead, their brains all over the dashboard. Spooked and stricken (that could have been him!), he staggers over to the car and touches the latest .44-caliber victims. (I kept waiting for the police to show up later at his door and announce that his fingerprints were on the bodies, but that touch must have been metaphorical.) Dear God, says Vinnie, I'll never cheat on my wife again. The problem is, he likes his sex rough and dirty, and good Italian Catholic boys can't have rough, dirty sex with their wives , for chrissake. The core of Colicchio and Imperioli's original screenplay was likely Vinnie's Judas turn with Ritchie (Adrien Brody), his neighborhood buddy who returns after an absence with spiked hair and the news that he's playing with a punk band at CBGB's. Ritchie--who also dances at an all-male strip joint and turns tricks with middle-aged men--is meant to be the quintessential outsider, the inevitable receptacle of whatever ill will is in the air. As it happens, he's also the mildest, least threatening punk you'll ever see--and hetero, for all his gay experiences, taking up with Ruby (Jennifer Esposito), the 'hood's good-hearted slut. When a couple of police detectives ask a Mafia chieftain (Ben Gazzara) for help in their search for the serial killer, the local bully boys show a little too much fascist zeal, keeping tabs on people's movements and pulling strangers out of cars. They're looking funny at Ritchie, too. That hair: He's clearly in a satanic cult. And Son of Sam, he's clearly in a satanic cult, too. So one plus one equals ... duhhhh. In his last film, the lyric basketball saga He Got Game (1998), Lee composed his frames so that his characters had a weathered grandeur; they were African-American icons. This time, he keeps a queasy distance from the people on screen. He seems to loathe them all--and why shouldn't he? They're morons--Guidos. They think Willie Mays just got lucky. They're the kind of people who would have chased Lee out of their neighborhoods with baseball bats. A summer in which a crazy Jew goes around shooting Italians: To Lee this must feel like Shangri-La. He goes out of his way to show that white people deal drugs, too. He doubtless had to fight the urge to make Summer of Sam a whole-hog whitesploitation picture. Apart from Sorvino, who gives a tremulous and surprisingly soulful performance, the characters have zero stature, and Leguizamo has been stuck with one of the most thankless roles ever written: an oversexed yet essentially impotent loser--a guilty bystander. The problem with these Bronx sequences is not conceptual. It's that they're crudely staged and written and that the men who conclude that the skinny, harmless Ritchie is Son of Sam seem like a gathering of village idiots. Even the neighborhood's queeny transvestite (Brian Tarantina)--until that point a target of harassment--joins the lynch mob, greedy to go after someone who's even more of an Other. The best reason to tell a story such as this would be to demonstrate that in the right circumstances, we could be infected by the same delusions and hunt for the same kinds of scapegoats. But Lee--whose treatment of violence in his other movies is considerably more equivocal--maintains a rare, moralistic distance. He adds a further layer of irony by taking his cameras to Brooklyn's Bedford-Stuyvesant neighborhood, where a zombielike TV newsman (played by Lee) interviews African-Americans about Son of Sam for a feature called "The Dark Perspective." Says a woman who serves as the picture's lone voice of reason: "I thank God it is a white man who kills all of those white people. If it were a black man there would be a race riot." So much for empathy with the victims. For the last decade, Lee has been attempting to craft a new kind of artfully slapdash film syntax--one that mixes jivey jump-cuts with Brechtian exhortations, that tries to build immense dramatic structures out of dissonance and opposition. His work in Summer of Sam is often formally thrilling. The bleached, posterized cinematography (by Ellen Kuras) makes the images seem cooked, even irradiated, and Lee brings out the eerie portents in the throbbing blandness of disco groups such as Abba. The pity is that when he does something well, he can't seem to control it and do it more selectively. Terence Blanchard's music strikes the same note of mournful counterpoint again and again, and the picture teems with conscious and unconscious echoes of Mean Streets (1973) and Taxi Driver (1976); it could have been called Summer of Scorsese . A sequence of punk thrashing and shooting-up set to The Who's "Baba O'Riley" brings the narrative to an embarrassing halt: It's just Spike flexing his cinematic muscles, showing how much montage he can bench press. Overambition in an artist is easy to forgive; what's less sufferable is grandiosity--the compulsive urge to dazzle us with omniscience. He doesn't seem to get that understanding is a byproduct of focus and not of how many connections you can make. Gunned Down Movies Wild Wild West (Warner Bros.). No debate on this one--the critics hate it. (A sample jab, from Time 's Richard Schickel: "The film is an unmitigated disaster.") Despite the winning combination of Will Smith and director Barry Sonnenfeld, who struck gold together with 1997's Men in Black , critics say the cast can't overcome the horrendous script. The Wall Street Journal 's Joe Morgenstern calls it "an eight-legged turkey," and Todd McCarthy of Daily Variety writes that it's "just not there." Roger Ebert ( Chicago Sun-Times ) sums it up: "[It's] a comedy dead zone. You stare in disbelief as scenes flop and die. ... There are moments when all artifice fails, and you realize you are regarding desperate actors, trapped on the screen, fully aware they've been left hanging out to dry." Or, as Susan Wloszczyna advises in USA Today , "Handle West like an old boot: Sniff at your own peril." (Visit the official site.) South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut (Paramount Pictures). After emphasizing just how gross this film version of the popular Comedy Central series is ("the potty-mouth on this R-rated cartoon is pretty mind-boggling"--Gary Dauphin, the Village Voice ), critics go on to praise it: "Hilarious, willfully filthy" (Janet Maslin, the New York Times ); David Ansen ( Newsweek ) calls it "tasteless, irreverent, silly and smart." Nasty highlights: 1) A torrid gay affair between Saddam Hussein and Satan. 2) An enormous talking clitoris. 3) A series of musical numbers, one of which is titled "Kyle's Mom's a Bitch." Most critics do not admit to being offended, save one: Roger Ebert, delivering a far more negative review than most, admits he laughed all through the film but says, "I did not always feel proud of myself while I was laughing. ... A lot of the movie offended me." (Click here to read a less positive review of the film: "South Park is another movie straight from the smoking pits of Hell," and for David Edelstein's rave in Slate .) Summer of Sam (Buena Vista Pictures). Critics call Spike Lee's latest worthy but deeply flawed. The film follows an insulated Italian-American community in the Bronx during the summer of 1977, when the Son of Sam killer was terrorizing New York City. On the upside, John Leguizamo's performance as a philandering hairdresser is "raging, startlingly visceral" (Maslin, the New York Times ), and Lee's evocation of the tension that gripped the city--the blackouts, looting, and violence--is enthralling. On the downside, the film is long, wandering, and something of "a glum and unpleasant experience" (Kenneth Turan, the Los Angeles Times ). Several critics also say Lee's direction tends toward the heavy-handed. Ebert departs from the pack, giving the film 3.5 stars and a rave review: It "vibrates with fear, guilt and lust." (Click to read Edelstein's review.) Books Eleanor Roosevelt Volume 2: 1933-1938 , by Blanche Wiesen Cook (Viking). Reviewers praise the second volume of Cook's biography as well researched, thorough, and fascinating. Many also take it as a point of departure for talking about Hillary Clinton. Maureen Dowd's review in the New York Times Book Review is largely a laundry list of the differences between Clinton and her admitted hero: "[Roosevelt] did not engage in the shadowy manipulation practiced by other opinionated First Ladies. ... Unlike Hillary, Eleanor ignored personal insults, sloughed off negative news." Dowd ends her review by asking, "Are you listening, Hillary?" Most notably, the book reveals excerpts from Roosevelt's letters that confirm suspicions, raised in the previous volume, of her amorous relationship with Associated Press reporter Lorena Hickok. Also of note are explicit examples of Roosevelt's anti-Semitism both in her private life and her public life: She was an advocate for the oppressed in all corners of the world--except, apparently, in Nazi Germany. (Click here to listen to an interview with the author, courtesy of the New York Times .) Wonders of the Invisible World: Stories , by David Gates (Knopf). Positive reviews for Newsweek critic Gates' first story collection (after two novels, including the Pulitzer Prize finalist Jernigan ). Publishers Weekly calls it "Gates' best so far." The stories range in topic from a gay man who takes in his sister's son while she checks into drug rehab, to an old man's religious awakening after a stroke. Michiko Kakutani writes in the New York Times that although Gates "delineates his characters' predicaments with a pitch-perfect ear," the collection suffers when "a certain authorial smugness creeps into the narration," which leaves the reader "feeling superior to his characters, irritated with their solipsistic mind games and self-inflicted wounds." (Click here to read one of the stories in this collection.) Free Shows Please send your questions for publication to prudence@slate.com. Dear Prudence, " " ' s disgusting letter concerning meal and gift parity, along with her psychotically misguided ideas of the whys and wherefores of giving gifts are a great deal more than "alarming." I found myself deeply troubled by her fantastical notions and saddened by the possibility that her children might be taught these same ideas. Needless to say, I thought your response to RS was absolutely correct. Nevertheless, I must take issue with your slander of mercenaries. A mercenary makes it clear he/she is fighting for money, not attempting to hide the expectation of booty behind a wedding invitation. --Cordially, ML III in Hong Kong Dear M, Prudie thanks you for your support and regrets that she may have insulted official mercenaries. If RS, our bride with the tally sheet, is by any chance reading this week's Prudie, she may be interested to know that there was much mail essentially calling her a woman with a cash register where her heart ought to be. --Prudie, assuredly Dear Prudence, As a young man approaching 40, I am confused about how I am supposed to react to women's fashions. At a recent conference of professionals, we were seated around a U-shaped table--glass--with no tablecloth. Several of these professional women across from me were wearing Ally McBeal skirts. They spent the entire meeting pulling their skirts down so their lingerie preferences were not so obvious. Am I supposed to look at the ceiling the entire meeting, steal the occasional glance, or just assume it's a '90s thing? Along these same lines, I was recently in a retail store and the clerk had on a summer dress. As she leaned over the counter to hand me my purchase, it became clear that her lingerie preference was none at all. I didn't know whether to stare at the ceiling, pretend I saw nothing, or thank her for the free show. In both instances, these women had to know that everyone was getting an eyeful. I missed the era of free love while in grade school and am wondering if we are now in the era of free looks. --Somewhat Dazed and Confused Dear Some, You have nicely named our new era. Fashion is deep into spandex and see-through, with the off-one-shoulder style occasionally revealing a stray boob. Alas, the '90s motto, "Let it all hang out," has moved from emotions to body parts. Clothing is meant to cover or reveal. The look-at-me outfits say just that. As for your particular question about Ally McBeal skirts and ladies minus underwear, Prudie feels these people do not purchase their clothes in the dark, so whatever is able to be seen is fair game for whatever response feels natural. You may even stare if you like. Prudie gives you permission. --Prudie, permissively Dear Prudence, Maybe you can help with this problem. My wife and I have a subscription to our city's symphony orchestra. Sometimes things come up that prevent us from using our tickets. When this happens we give them to friends who are also classical music fans. We have made it clear to this couple we expect nothing in return, as we have already paid for the tickets that would go to waste if they didn't use them. However, being polite people and good friends, this other couple has, as a gesture of thanks, invited us to be their guests at a minor league baseball game. My wife and I are not enthusiastic about this, especially since getting there requires a drive of close to an hour. But we don't want to appear ungrateful to our friends or hurt their feelings. (We can't use the "We're busy" excuse, because they've given us four different dates to choose from.) Is there a graceful way of declining, or have you some suggestions for handling this dilemma? --In Need of Help in Ohio Dear In, Prudie sympathizes with your feelings of ix-nay on the ballgame ... she, herself, having been briefly shown on national TV reading the New Republic at a World Series game and the Sunday papers at the Rose Bowl. It is best to be upfront, both to handle the matter truthfully, as well as to scotch baseball invitations on into the next century. Prudie therefore suggests you tell your friends: 1) you are most appreciative that they wish to reciprocate; 2) neither you nor your wife is a sports fan; 3) long car rides hurt your behinds; and 4) a leisurely dinner, just the four of you, would be much more to your liking. Prudie believes there are certain occasions when one plays along in order to spare someone's feelings. This is not one of them. --Prudie, decidedly Hello, Prudie, The tone of "" about that "geezer" Hugh Hefner rather surprises me. Really Confused seems to want to criticize Mr. Hefner because he is no longer a young man under 30, yet he still manages to attract the attentions of three young attractive women. Would Really Confused be less confused if Mr. Hefner were a Gen-Xer? Would you be less critical of the three women if Mr. Hefner were under 30? In other words, it appears that numbers are driving the argument here, and I can't tell if it's the number 3, any number over 30, or an interaction effect. --Quantitatively Questioning the Quality of Life, a k a SB-B Dear Quant, Prudie can't speak for Really Confused, so she will speak for herself. If Mr. Hefner were under 30, the three, uh, companions would no doubt be an implied tribute to his attractiveness. At the age of 70-something, however, this trio has about it the barest whiff of self-serving motives. Without the mansion, the money, the famous friends, and the publicity, Prudie thinks the object of their affections would be just another eccentric old guy who stays in his pajamas. As Prudie has wondered in the past, in other publications, why do geezers with young girlfriends not know that they might as well glue an American Express Gold Card to their foreheads? Oh, well. As for the Viagra component, let's not go there, as the kids say. --Prudie, appropriately Yadda Yadda Yadda Language, we all know, allows us to say something. Yet it is also frequently called upon to say nothing. There are semantically and grammatically complex ways of doing this, as study of the transcript of any Eisenhower press conference will demonstrate. There are also sundry off-the-rack locutions that can dress up language to similar effect, such as the long-established blah blah blah , which, in a famous Far Side cartoon, is what animals perceive human beings to be saying to one another. In recent months, in contexts where I have grown accustomed to expect a resigned or satiric blah blah blah , I have been hearing the phrase yadda yadda yadda instead, as in: "First they tell me one thing, then they tell me another thing, yadda yadda yadda ." My own informal tracking, conducted over a period of several weeks, suggests a blah - blah - blah displacement rate of about 50 percent in the thirtysomething-and-under demographic segment. In attempting to "walk back the cat" (to use the increasingly prevalent argot of the intelligence services for tracing a chain of events backward to establish a point of origin), I have found yadda - yadda - yadda strands in episodes of Seinfeld and Home Improvement . The most compelling manifestation, though, is in an advertisement for Converse athletic shoes featuring images of Kevin Johnson of the Phoenix Suns that was aired on national television during last spring's basketball championships: "Plus, he don't badmouth anybody. He don't cop an attitude. Ffff! You'd have to be nuts not to want a guy like that on your team. So anyways, KJ, KJ, he's our man. Ya ta da Ya ta da Ya ta da. Converse." The man who wrote the copy, Richard Herstek, the creative director at a Boston-based advertising agency, recalls that he had four seconds to fill in a 30-second commercial. "Yadda yadda yadda ," whose spelling he was uncertain of, "simply seemed funnier than blah blah blah or et cetera, et cetera ." Why did the term occur to Herstek at all? An associate of his from more than a decade ago, he says, used it from time to time "along with a lot of other phrases that sounded Yiddish." The various lexicographers I have consulted are quite certain, however, that yadda yadda yadda is not of Yiddish origin. Although the term is known to have been around for a while, documentary evidence for it is sparse--as is so often the case in matters involving oral culture. Richard Herstek indicated that he, like me, was now hearing yadda yadda yadda more frequently than ever, but he modestly disclaimed responsibility. True, our experience could simply be the result of what might be called the Awareness Tautology: One's sense of a phenomenon's pervasiveness is heightened by the fact of one's having been alerted to the phenomenon in the first place. Still, yadda yadda yadda 's nascent currency is indirectly confirmed by the matter-of-fact use, in the Los Angeles Times , of the term in the participial phrase "doing the yadda - yadda ." Two things are happening. First, a newly prominent form of what is known as "sound symbolism" is crowding out some older ones in competition for a familiar piece of habitat. English has long had various ways of mimicking the generic sound of spoken language, the noise of a crowd, or idle chatter (chatter being such a word). The class of onomatopoeic and reduplicative terms for spoken language is large : blather, buzz-buzz, chitchat, fiddle-faddle, jibber-jabber, yakety-yak, yuk-yuk . The earliest appearances of something resembling yadda yadda yadda in print derive from its use in sound-symbolic fashion, as in this exchange from a short story (about anthropomorphic ducks) appearing in a 1949 issue of the Saturday Evening Post : "Stop it, Mike!" Minnie would call crossly. "Pay attention to your flying, for pity's sake!" "Back-seat flying," Mike would grumble. "Always the yaddega-yaddega from the back seat." Wentworth and Flexner's Dictionary of American Slang provides a citation for the similar form yatata yatata yatata from the play Jim Dandy : A Fat Man in a Famine (1947) by William Saroyan. A different sort of theatrical provenance is offered by an informant with experience in several large-cast stage productions. In scenes where people in a crowd are supposed to be talking animatedly but unintelligibly to one another, she observes, the effect is sometimes achieved by having half the cast members say blah blah blah and the other half say yadda yadda yadda . The second thing happening is not so much etymological as sociological: a continuing evolution in semantic function. Terms such as yadda yadda yadda and blah blah blah have a special utility when the speaker's audience can accurately fill in the blanks--when the terms act not as synonyms for "generic talk" but as command keys, cued to circumstance, that can designate specific information. In other words, what yadda yadda yadda can convey is something like: "You and I know all the points that would ordinarily be inserted at this place in the conversation, so let's just skip it and move on." This usage points to yadda yadda yadda 's larger social significance: It suggests that an ever-larger percentage of the content of everyday communication can be correctly anticipated--probably owing in part to the sheer repetition of words and arguments in the various public media. I am not aware of any studies comparing the number of words an average person could expect to hear spoken in a typical day 500 years ago vs. the number that can be heard now, but the increase surely is vast. If a politician were to say today that he opposes abortion except when yadda yadda yadda , we would all know what he means, and we would know what was meant if, after an arrest, a police officer pulled out a card and just said yadda yadda yadda . Adults have always been struck by how much teen-age communication can seemingly be accomplished by emitting one of perhaps half a dozen subverbal phonemes, and it will be instructive to watch as something along these same lines spreads to the general population. As noted, lexicographers for obvious reasons have far more trouble gathering oral citations than written ones. To aid the larger lexicographical enterprise, I'm interested in collecting samples of references to yadda yadda yadda (or similarly imitative terms) in any communications media other than paper. Date and explicit provenance must be provided. The information will be turned over to experienced professionals. It would only be fitting that yadda yadda yadda make it formally into one dictionary before obviating the need for dictionaries at all. This Is the End A few weeks ago, on his public-radio program A Prairie Home Companion , Garrison Keillor spent several minutes conversing with the occasional character Larry, his fictional twin brother, who lives beneath the stage and harbors resentments about a show-business career that slipped away. "Larry, you can't live in the past," Keillor said at one point. "It does no good to hold a grudge. You've got to move on, Larry. You've got to find closure." A Prairie Home Companion does not rely for its comedic grammar on concepts accessible mainly to an overinformed urban elite, so when certain words and phrases crop up on that program, you can be pretty sure the underlying meanings have been suffused through the middle-range ZIP codes. Such is the case with closure , in the sense of bringing an emotional process to its natural conclusion. The term has so rapidly evolved from restricted jargon into mainstream patois--it is hardly more "technical" now than the words du jour after soup on a truck-stop menu--that A Prairie Home Companion cannot only use it safely, but can even give it a knowing, ironic twist. Closure has familiar applications in the realm of personal relationships. In the movie Heat , to cite just one instance, Diane Venora says to her ex-husband, Al Pacino: "I may be stoned on grass and Prozac, but you've been walking through our life dead. And now I have to demean myself with Ralph just to get closure with you." But the word turns up in any sort of story where "finis" is being written. Patients who served as unwitting subjects of 1950s radiation experiments described their recent settlement with the government as bringing "a sense of closure," using the word in its by-now standard noun-phrase setting. ( Closure on its own sometimes seems too final.) The makers of a $450 doll that bears the features of a young Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis attributed the doll's popularity to the public's "unresolved feelings about Jackie": Buying a doll "gives them a sense of closure." In contrast, the rambling valedictory press conference last fall of Notre Dame's football coach, Lou Holtz, was criticized by one sportswriter for its "absence of any real sense of closure." Closure is nowadays most often encountered in contexts involving death. Newspaper and broadcast accounts routinely describe the return of a serviceman's long-lost remains from the Pacific, Korea, or Vietnam as bringing a sense of closure. Late last year, the Los Angeles Times profiled a local undertaker named Roberto Garcia: "While the profits are nice, Garcia says the most fulfilling part of his job is helping families establish a sense of closure." Now that executions are once again a normal part of American life--someone is executed in the United States once a week, on average--they, too, reliably bring on that clausural feeling. "What I'm hoping is that everyone will have a sense of closure from this," a police officer told a reporter after an execution was carried out last month in Arizona, 18 years after the crimes had been committed. Commenting on a documentary in which parents witnessed the execution of the killer of two of their children, a Chicago Sun-Times columnist wrote: "Watching him die gave them a sense of closure." The relatives of Nicole Brown Simpson and Ronald Goldman did not witness anything so dramatic, but according to the New York Times , closure was what they, too, had sought in their recent lawsuit against O.J. Simpson. The $33.5 million award was not the issue, they told the Times : "Rather ... they were looking for closure--'justice,' some called it--to the worst thing that had ever happened to them." The origins of closure are hardly obscure. It is derived from the Latin verb clausere , meaning "to close," which also gives us the enclosed architectural space cloister , the enclosed syntactical space clause , and the fear of enclosed space altogether, claustrophobia . In a political sense, closure , now most commonly invoked in its Gallic variant, cloture , refers to the ending of debate in a legislative body and dates back to the late 19 th century. In literary criticism, closure refers to the manner in which a poem (or any text) achieves thematic and structural finality. In the psychological jargon of Gestalt theory ("Gestalt" being German for "pattern" or "form"), closure refers to the propensity of the human mind to impose or perceive order despite gaps or asymmetry. This meaning of closure helps to explain ___ most people have no ________ at all in figuring out the missing ______ in this sentence. Fill-in-the-blanks exercises have been fashioned into what are known as cloze tests , which are designed to test passages for readability and readers for comprehension. The Gestalt term closure has an application in the world of , where it refers to the way the reader mentally imagines what has happened between panels. The impulse behind the real-life quest for a sense of closure--the impulse, that is, to discern meaning, to impose coherence, to tie up loose ends--is no doubt as timeless as sentience itself. But how did it come to be so closely bound up with a specific word? One factor is the psychologizing of everyday life, a development that scarcely needs documentation. When we require words to describe personal motivation and other interior processes, the most likely source today is psychology. The lexicon so derived is large and growing: co-dependency , recovery , denial , self-esteem , self-help . As it has been noted, there are no longer sins, only syndromes. Asecond factor is the news media, in particular local television news, which is built on abbreviated human stories with a recognizable beginning, middle, and end: A violent crime. A daring rescue. A belated discovery. A sudden disaster. Psychotherapeutic templates are easy to apply. The words "a sense of closure" have by now been uttered so often on camera--along with the companion phrase "the healing process," which is what observers hope will occur after the scab of closure has formed--that they have joined the off-the-rack vocabulary of stock phrases that ordinary Americans can pick from when a camera appears in front of them. How much more deeply a sense of closure will penetrate is impossible to say--but that it will go deeper is without question. I won't be surprised to learn someday that wedding vows are being exchanged in which the union is set to last "until a sense of closure do us part." And surely, "A Sense of Closure" will be the headline above the news analysis in the New York Times the morning before the asteroid hits. At least we won't have to read "The Healing Process" on the editorial page the following day. Noted With Pleasure Much as the press coverage of "government" is in large measure coverage of politics, so also do discussions of "language" get skewed toward issues of usage and etymology. In language as in government, a vast and remarkable infrastructure--some of it regulatory, some of it didactic--quietly shapes the world in revolutionary ways. Yet most of us give little thought to how, say, there came to be spaces between words, or why English has the letters that it does, or how the mechanical means of writing affects the nature of writing. From time to time, however, language infrastructure pokes momentarily into public view. I recall a heady few days in 1993 when a new reference work by Malcolm Parkes, a lecturer in paleography at Oxford, enjoyed a certain modest vogue. This work was Parkes' magisterial Pause and Effect: An Introduction to the History of Punctuation in the West , a book that at last stripped the cloak of anonymity from the important work of commas, periods, dashes, colons, semicolons, and countless other full- and part-time functionaries. Several times a day I still think of Parkes' disquisition on the now-obsolete punctuation mark known as a percontativus , a question mark flopped backward and used to indicate a question that is purely rhetorical. It is a device we might usefully revive. This fall another noteworthy volume on the apparatus of written language has been published-- The Footnote: A Curious History , by the Princeton University historian Anthony Grafton. The book seeks to explain how footnotes became an essential element of the "narrative architecture" of historical writing. This is not a reference book to be consulted but an excursus to be savored, by a writer with a studied sense of style. "To the inexpert," he writes in one place, "footnotes look like deep root systems, solid and fixed; to the connoisseur, however, they reveal themselves as anthills, swarming with constructive and combative activity." Elsewhere he writes: "Unlike other forms of credentials, footnotes sometimes provide entertainment--normally in the form of daggers stuck in the back of the author's colleagues. Some of these are inserted politely." He sympathetically quotes Noel Coward's observation that having to stop for a footnote is sometimes like having to answer the door while making love. Although Grafton does not mention the fact, or even allude to it, his book appears at a momentous time in the life of the footnote. On the one hand, encouraged in part by the cultural ascendance of irony, and by recreational obeisance to the many-tiered nature of experience and truth, the noncitational or "literary" footnote has become increasingly prominent in recent years in journalism, criticism, and fiction. (For examples, see the effective but very different techniques employed by Nicholson Baker in his novel The Mezzanine , and by David Foster Wallace in the novel Infinite Jest and in the essays collected in A Supposedly Fun Thing I'll Never Do Again .) On the other hand, the footnote as scholarly reference tool or scholarly reference weapon has never enjoyed more prominence than it does today--"each serious work of history," Grafton notes, "must now travel on an impregnably armored bottom, rather like a tank." In law, the analysis of footnotes even sustains a new minor discipline, "citology." The next task for the footnote, scarcely begun, is the mastery of electronic information, an undertaking that offers opportunities for utility and mischief on an incomparable scale. Where did the footnote come from? "Scholars," Grafton explains, "have placed the birth of the footnote in the twelfth century, the seventeenth, the eighteenth, and the nineteenth--never without good reason but usually without attending to the other chapters in this story." Grafton's book begins by considering the historians Edward Gibbon and Leopold von Ranke, who in their own ways raised the historical footnote to a level of high art both as a citational resource and a rhetorical outlet. Ranke, with his avowed intention to show history wie es eigentlich gewesen --how it really was--and with his ambition to put the study of history on a scientific footing, doubtless had a more pervasive influence on the formal output of generations of historians. But Gibbon's source apparatus and sotto voce commentary in Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire remain more accessible and entertaining to ordinary readers. Gibbon straightforwardly observes at one point, for instance, that the emperor Marcus Aurelius thanked the gods in his Meditations for giving him a wife "so faithful, so gentle, and of such a wonderful simplicity of manners." Only in the annotation does Gibbon add, "The world has laughed at the credulity of Marcus; but Madam Dacier assures us (and we may credit a lady) that the husband will always be deceived, if the wife condescends to dissemble." We owe a debt to the philosopher David Hume for persuading Gibbon to take such notational material out of the back of his volumes and to print it at the bottom of the relevant pages--thereby turning end notes into foot notes, and allowing Gibbon more effectively to drop the other shoe. Neither Ranke nor Gibbon invented the citational or literary footnote; Grafton slogs back through time in search of antecedents. Medieval commentators ardently "glossed" the margins of documents with references and asides. These, "like the historian's footnote, enable the reader to work backward from the finished argument to the texts it rests on." Religious writers in antiquity penned notations that sometimes, we now know, were later absorbed wholesale into the primary text itself. The structure of footnotes grew increasingly elaborate mainly because of the rediscovery during the Renaissance of a wealth of old documentary sources, along with the proliferation of new sources made possible by the printing press and the modern archive. Some mechanism was needed to make sense of it all. What is more, humanism and the Reformation set off a fight for the ownership of truth, historical and otherwise--whence derived authority when the higher Authority had been dethroned?--and the footnote became a marker of legitimacy. As Grafton makes plain, the story of the footnote is in many ways the story of historiography itself. The story can get a little dense, although any reader captivated by footnotes to begin with has already passed the first endurance test. And Grafton enlivens his account with a sometimes astonishing array of encylopedists, autodidacts, and polyhistors. The French philosopher Pierre Bayle, for example, set out in the 1690s to produce a vast reference work, Dictionnaire historique et critique ( Historical and Critical Dictionary ), whose sole purpose was to point out the mistakes in all other previously published reference works. This was a dictionary--a bizarre best seller--in which even the footnotes had footnotes, and whose pages, Grafton notes, "offer the reader only a thin and fragile crust of text on which to cross the deep, dark swamp of commentary." We smile, even as the crossing becomes potentially harder with every day. Writing in 1824, Ranke conjured a memorable image of the modern critical historian confronted by, and determined to derive order from, the boundless quantities of available source material: Consider the strange feelings that would arise in someone who entered a great collection of antiquities, in which genuine and spurious, beautiful and repulsive, spectacular and insignificant objects, from many nations and periods, lay next to one another in complete disorder. Does that sound anything like the challenge posed by electronic media? (And where is a percontativus now that I need one?) A Philistine's Guide to Italy I just got back from honeymooning in Italy. Before I went there, I was a philistine. Now I'm a philistine who's been to Italy. I did learn a few things. Chiefly, I learned that Italian guidebooks are designed for people who are interested in broadening themselves. Here's a guide for the rest of us. Art. In the country, the big attraction is villas, which charge you a few thousand lire to admire their gardens and sculptures. The gardens are half patio and half golf course. Some sculptures depict the Count of So-and-So, who used to own the villa. Others memorialize his bad taste. In cities, most of the art is in museums and big churches called duomi . The ceilings of the duomi are spectacular. So are the floors. My wife suggested that we model our bathroom floor after one of them. The floors are checkered with marble slabs commemorating rich people. The more money you give to the church, the bigger your slab, and the better your location. Basically, it works like the Republican National Committee. Religion. Most of the art in museums is religious. The big theme is Jesus. There are four kinds of Jesuses: Baby Jesus, Spurting Jesus, Floating Jesus, and Propeller-Head Jesus. Baby Jesus sits in Mary's lap. He has adult features and expressions wholly inappropriate to an infant. In some paintings he looks like Joe Pesci; in others, Don Rickles; in others, Christopher Walken. The Uffizi Gallery in Florence has a Baby Jesus that's a dead ringer for Jeff Hornacek of the Utah Jazz. Occasionally, Baby Jesus suckles at Mary's breast. Evidently the artists who painted Mary had never seen a naked woman. Her breast starts around the collarbone and takes off like a torpedo. Spurting Jesus hangs on the cross and spouts blood from a gash in his chest. Lots and lots and lots of blood. In the Dormitory of San Marco in Florence, there's a whole row of monks' cells, each of which has a Spurting Jesus on the wall. The monks were supposed to meditate on these paintings all day. This can't have been helpful. Maybe they meditated on whether the Jesus-on-the-cross had a penis. He seems to have had one when he was a baby, but now bits of fabric are conveniently placed to obscure it. Floating Jesus is my favorite. He wears a white robe and hovers over the thieves who have just dug up his grave. With one hand, he makes Mr. Spock's "live long and prosper" sign. With the other, he carries the flag of some Scandinavian country. Propeller-Head Jesus has a halo with a red cross in it that looks like a propeller. This is the easiest way to identify Jesus. Lots of guys in these paintings look like Jesus, and they all have halos. Sometimes one guy's halo blocks your view of the guy behind him. My wife and I spent several minutes discussing a huge mural of the Last Supper before we realized that the guy we thought was Jesus was really Judas. Very embarrassing. We should have looked for the propeller. What it's supposed to convey, I don't know. What it conveys to me is: "Hey! Over here! This one's Jesus!" I don't mean to be disrespectful to religion. I loved the duomi and the little shrines nestled into odd corners of the hill towns. But let's face it, much of Christian history is bloody awful. In San Gimignano, there's a whole torture museum specializing in instruments of the Inquisition. (The "skull crusher" and "rectal pear" are particularly memorable.) The museum charges twice the admission fee that other museums charge, and people pay it because, basically, we love cruelty. The museum pretends to teach the lessons of man's inhumanity to man--especially man's inhumanity to woman--and visitors make the appropriate noises of disgust as they study each device. But the truth is, we're fascinated. One exhibit presents the electric chair as a testament to American brutality. I suppose I am a brute. On the train to Venice, packed into a compartment with several nice old Italian ladies, I peered out the window at the sky stretching toward Yugoslavia and pronounced it "excellent bombing weather." "Charming," my wife replied coldly as she shrank into her seat. D riving. If you take the "scenic" back roads, don't expect to notice the scenery. You'll spend the whole trip with your eyes glued to the road and occasionally your rearview mirror, in which a caravan of Italian drivers will be tailgating you. You're too terrified to speed up because the road is narrow and winds sharply around hillsides. They can't pass you for the same reason. My advice is to take the bus. The bus we took along Lake Como to Bellagio careened around dozens of bends, any of which could have plunged us hundreds of feet into the lake. At first I thought the drivers we passed on that road were nuts. Then I saw the bikers. They wore racing gear and refused to get out of our way. Cars. Americans build wide roads and new cities to fit big cars. Italians build little cars to fit old cities and narrow roads. In Siena, the locals drive miniature three-wheeled vans, pickup trucks, and even dump trucks designed to navigate the city's tiny medieval passageways. Thanks to the proprietress of our hotel, who climbed into the passenger seat and issued directions, I maneuvered our Fiat Punto through a 7-foot-wide stone maze, up and down a series of alleys at harrowing right angles, past scaffolding and cafe tables, to the parking lot. L anguage. In preparation for our trip, I spent months studying Italian soccer on television. I mastered the words "portiere " (goalkeeper), "colpo di testa " (header), and "quattro minuti di ricupero " (four minutes of injury time). Italian is better-known as the language of lovers, of course, which is one reason why people honeymoon there. The other reason is that the words "husband" and "wife" are easier to practice in a foreign language. Less than a week into our marriage, we were touring Lake Como on a ferry when we cruised past a wedding party. The captain tooted his horn and called out over a megaphone, "Vivano gli sposi! " (Long live the bride and groom.) Everyone smiled and sighed. The scene was perfectly scripted for a honeymoon. What wasn't scripted for a honeymoon was our phrase book, which included translations for "Is your wife/husband here," "I'd like you to use a condom," and "You can't stay here tonight." Part of the problem is that Italian makes everything sound like a sex act: Menaggio, Dongo, Lemna, Cadenabbia, Faggeto, Bellagio. And those are just the towns along Lake Como. Pigeons. Italian piazzas are full of pigeons. I hate pigeons. They're slow, stupid, ugly, and rude. Not only do the Italians feed them, they sell bags of birdseed to tourists, who in turn feed the pigeons. Naturally, the pigeons hang out in the piazzas all day, cooing and crapping and waiting to be fed. Welfare for flying rats. I was delighted to discover skyward prongs in the ledges of the Basilico San Marco in Venice, designed to prevent pigeons from alighting there. I also watched a boy in Lucca try to run over pigeons with his bike. My only regret is that I passed up a chance to order roasted pigeon in Florence. T ourists. The affinity between pigeons and tourists makes sense. The tourists, too, are slow, stupid, ugly, and rude. They set off flash bulbs in churches. They thrust their fingers within an inch or two of priceless paintings, pointing out the obvious. Years ago, the tourists took snapshots. Now they make videotapes. They videotape anything that moves and much that doesn't. In San Gimignano, I watched a man painstakingly videotape a door. In Venice, I watched tourists on a bridge videotape tourists on a boat, who in turn were videotaping the tourists on the bridge. Germans. Italy is one of their favorite travel spots. Somehow this makes me uncomfortable. German travel, particularly in Europe, has never been good news. Everyone has their ethnic hang-up; I suppose this is mine. I don't know why. Maybe it's that Holocaust thing. Not that I hold it against all Germans. In fact, the hotel we stayed at in Bellagio was run by a nice German family. Lovely people. And I was becoming quite comfortable with the whole German atmosphere, really--right up until the Lufthansa flight attendant showed me how to place the mask securely over my nose and mouth and breathe deeply. F ood. The best advice I got before the trip was from my colleague Jacob Weisberg, who said, "Order the beans." If the waiter asks whether you want gas or no gas, he's referring not to the beans but to the water, which comes with or without bubbles. The only bad food in Tuscany is the bread, which provides all the blandness of matzot without the moral satisfaction. The ice cream varies. In San Gimignano, it's outstanding. In Lucca, it's a rip-off. In Venice, every vendor sells the same bad ice cream, evidently at the behest of a conglomerate whose boats we saw unloading their sinister cargo at various docks. In case you get homesick, Venice now has four McDonald's, with menus tastefully adapted for Italian sensibilities. A McChicken is called a McChicken. A Filet-o-Fish is called a Filet-o-Fish. Cell phones. In Venice, we saw a man in a green suit and sunglasses prancing around a storefront, gesticulating wildly and apparently arguing with himself. Eventually we figured out that he was talking to a tiny phone in his ear. People go out to eat with friends and spend the whole time yapping with somebody else on the phone. In Siena, a man and woman dined at the outdoor table next to ours. They both wore wedding rings. The man had brought his dog along. His phone rang, and he spent the rest of the meal in what sounded like a playful conversation with a child. The woman just went on eating. It doesn't add up. If the guy wanted to talk to his kid, why did he leave the kid at home? If the kid was at home, why was the dog at the restaurant? If the woman was the guy's wife, why was he ignoring her? If she wasn't his wife, why were they wearing rings? If she was the kid's mom, why didn't the guy hand her the phone? I don't get it. But then, being a philistine is all about not getting it--and never having to say you're sorry. Alphabet Soup As regular readers of such publications as Greek, Roman, and Byzantine Studies ; the Classical Journal ; and the Journal of Biblical Literature are by now well aware, a dispute has long simmered about whether people in ancient times read to themselves silently, as we moderns do, or mostly read aloud. The unequivocal references in ancient sources to silent reading are few, and the context often suggests that the practice is unusual. St. Augustine describes with amazement how the great Ambrose, bishop of Milan, could follow the written text with his eyes even as "his voice and tongue stayed still." The majority view today is that reading aloud was the rule in antiquity--a view that has now received powerful new support from Paul Saenger, a medievalist and curator at the Newberry Library in Chicago. Saenger observes in Space Between Words: The Origins of Silent Reading that most ancient texts virtually demanded to be read aloud, because the words were written in what is known as scriptura continua --that is, they were all run together, forcingthereadertosoundeverythingout. Then, in the sixth and seventh centuries, Irish-speaking monks, for whom the Latin of literature and Scripture was a foreign language, began inserting spaces, just to help tell all those unfamiliar words apart. Irish manuscript traditions went on to influence the whole Western world, and the separation of words became a universal convention--thereby making silent reading practical. Silent reading--now so vast and entrenched that we take it for granted--seems to have come about more or less by happy accident. Specialists will no doubt be arguing over Saenger's thesis for years to come--don't let your subscription to Greek, Roman, and Byzantine Studies lapse. But I was drawn to the argument of Space Between Words for two reasons: First, it treats words as physical objects produced by physical means and designed to be understood by physical beings; and second, it reminds us of the breathtaking role serendipity can play in matters of language. The physicality of words is something we tend to lose sight of--literally--although the consequences of physicality are inescapable and often startling. Some years ago I shouldered the rewarding (and not very exacting) task of editing some articles by Bernard Lewis, distinguished scholar of the Arab world. At one point in our conversations the subject drifted, and I found myself asking Lewis--thinking he was bound to know--about the kind of ancient Greek writing that was written from left to right on one line, then from right to left on the next, then from left to right again, and so on. "You're thinking of boustrophedon ," he replied at once. "The term comes from Greek words that describe the way an ox-drawn plough turns in a field." I pursued the matter a little further, asking how such a writing system came to be. Lewis' answer emerged after a pleasant subterranean rumbling that I took to be laughter (though his answer was entirely serious). "It probably arose," he said, "from the practice of writing long inscriptions on cliff faces." Imagine, he went on, lowering a chap with his chisel from the top of a monument and moving him along as he does his work. What do you do when he finishes the first line? Do you haul him all the way back to where he started? Or do you just drop him down a few feet to the next line and then let him continue his work in the opposite direction? The subterranean rumbling resumed for a moment, making it clear the answer should be obvious. In his 1996 memoir Running in the Family the novelist and poet Michael Ondaatje wrote evocatively about the alphabet he learned in Sri Lanka as a boy, making note of the aesthetic consequences of yet another technological imperative: I still believe the most beautiful alphabet was created by the Sinhalese. The insect of ink curves into a shape that is almost sickle, spoon, eyelid. The letters are washed blunt glass which betray no jaggedness. Sanskrit was governed by verticals, but its sharp grid features were not possible in Ceylon. Here the Ola leaves which people wrote on were too brittle. A straight line would cut apart the leaf and so a curling alphabet was derived from its Indian cousin. There has been no lack of commentary about the consequences that the latest version of Ola leaves--computers and electronic text--will have on the future of reading, writing, and the Word, and I have no wish to revisit all the speculative Big Questions here; Sven Birkerts, Michael Joyce, Steven Johnson, and the rest of the gang can agonize or exult over these without any outside help. Many issues will simply remain up in the air for years to come, no matter what anyone says. Still, computers and electronic text have already wrought changes in the way the world's words are constructed. In Japan, individuals have long been accustomed to elaborating upon the way their basic names are written in kanji characters--personalizing names with a flourish of extra characters or with added or subtracted strokes. Those flourishes now must come to an end for official purposes, in the interest of computer standardization. Likewise, the Association of Spanish Language Academies has voted to eliminate "ch" (as in chorizo ) and "ll" (as in llama ) as distinct letters in what had been a 29-letter Spanish alphabet. (An extra Spanish letter "n," the one with the tilde, remains in place for now.) The Germans, for their part, have begun this year to phase out their distinctive letter for a double "s," the letter that looks somewhat like an English capital "B." The forces that are bringing a little more order to orthography are doing the same to semantics. Because an electronically linked worldwide medical community needs a common language, new terminology has been adopted by the International Federation of Associations of Anatomists to describe human body parts. The Adam's apple is henceforward to be known as the laryngeal prominence . The Achilles tendon now becomes the calcaneal tendon . The space between a woman's breasts is now to be known as the intermammary sulcus . It is beyond me to chart the future byways of the digital revolution, but I'll venture one counterintuitive prediction: Electronic media will usher in a resurgence in the quality and value in handwriting. Signs of a renaissance of the handwritten word are here and there discernible. Most obviously, there is the proliferation of specialty shops for fountain pens and handmade paper. But it can also be seen, hauntingly, in the almost sacral reception given to Ronald Reagan's handwritten letter revealing his affliction with Alzheimer's disease. "Script's primary power," wrote Edmund Morris, Reagan's biographer, in a 1995 reflection on the letter, "is to convey the cursive flow of human thought, from brain to hand to pen to ink to eye--every waver, every loop, every character trembling with expression." As handwriting becomes ever less a daily utilitarian workhorse it may well become ever more a cherished means of interpersonal transmission--for the sorts of messages that one sets aside to preserve (or pulls out to reread from one's intermammary sulcus). Some future Paul Saenger, perhaps in a book to be called When Hands Left the Keyboard , will, I hope, be able to tell the story of one more happy accident. A-n-t-i-c-i-p-a-t-i-o-n When my friend Ralph Cohen announced that his wife was pregnant, I asked what path he hoped his child would follow. "It doesn't matter," said Ralph. "If he's happy, I'll be happy." Then, after a thoughtful pause he added, "My personal preference is shortstop. But anything he wants to do is fine with me." Then, after a longer pause: "As long as it's in the infield." That's the difference between ordinary altruism, where you care about other people's happiness (though perhaps not as urgently as you care about your own), and what I'll call "imperfect altruism," where you reserve the right to care about how others achieve their happiness. We all feel altruistic toward our own future selves. That's why we make current sacrifices for future rewards. But which kind of altruists are we? Traditional economic theory says we're the ordinary kind--we want to be happy in the future, though perhaps not as urgently as we want to be happy in the present. David Laibson, a professor of political economy at Harvard, is one of a few iconoclasts who disagree. Nobody doubts that we are imperfectly altruistic toward others. Laibson argues that we can be imperfectly altruistic toward ourselves. And just as imperfect altruism toward your children can cause conflict in your family, imperfect altruism toward your future self can cause conflict in your soul. Here's an example: Everyone knows that a taste for expensive pleasures can ruin your life. But a taste for anticipating expensive pleasures can ruin your life in a far more interesting way. If your greatest joy in life is looking forward to tomorrow's extravagance, you've got a problem: Tomorrow is a moving target. On Monday, you plan a lavish party for Tuesday; when Tuesday arrives, you indulge your preference for anticipation by postponing the party till Wednesday. The postponements continue until you die and leave a large estate. The tragedy here is not that you never get to spend your money. The tragedy is that you never even get to anticipate spending your money, because you're smart enough to foresee the whole sequence of events even before it unfolds. If you love looking forward to parties and if you know you love looking forward to parties, then you can never look forward to a party. Maybe this was what Bertolt Brecht meant when he said his life had been ruined by intelligence. The solution, if you can manage it, is to plan a party that can't be postponed. Pay the caterer well in advance, and be sure to choose one who will penalize you heavily for a last-minute cancellation. I suffer from a minor but aggravating form of this affliction. I avoid reading really good books, because it robs me of the pleasure of looking forward to them. Of course, knowing this about myself, I never get to look forward to them either. Air travel has been my salvation. I force myself to read good books by trapping myself with them on airplanes. If they ever upgrade those in-flight magazines into a plausible reading alternative, I'll be ruined. My friend Ray Heitmann suffers from the equal and opposite problem. Instead of looking forward to extravagance, he likes to anticipate his own future frugality. He particularly enjoys believing that after a certain age, he won't spend resources to prolong his own life. But he's painfully aware that the "certain age" keeps getting redefined so it's always safely in the future. Therefore, he's looking for ways to limit his own future freedom of choice. If Ray cared only about his own future happiness (or, to put it another way, if Ray were perfectly altruistic toward his future self), then you could fairly accuse him of inconsistency: Limiting your choices can't make you happier. But Ray cares also about how he achieves his future happiness, which makes him an imperfect altruist, but a consistent one. If your altruism is imperfect, you can want your future self to throw a party (or to read a book or to forgo expensive medical care, or for that matter to save money or to quit smoking), even though you know your future self would prefer otherwise. When Dorothy Parker lamented that "I hate writing, but I love having written," she was expressing the sort of routine tradeoff between current costs and future benefits that fits right into the traditional economic framework. Laibson's imperfect altruists face a far subtler problem--they're not just weighing costs and benefits, they're engaged in games of strategy against their future selves. That suggests a new answer to a question I raised in this space a few months ago, namely "" My suggestion then was that the lock resolves a conflict between you (who believe that a hot fudge sundae is worth the calories) and your mate, or potential mate (who believes otherwise). According to Laibson, the conflict is not between you and your mate, but between you-today and you-tomorrow. I don't know which theory is right, but I do know that the door locks remain inexplicable unless you are in conflict with someone . If all you want for your future self is happiness and if there's no third party involved, there can be no good reason to restrict your future options. Professors Per Krusell and Anthony Smith point out that Laibson's theory makes some surprising predictions about the way people save. Suppose you want to be frugal in the future. If you're a pessimist and don't trust your future self to be frugal, then you might as well spend all your money today so it doesn't fall into the hands of that future spendthrift. But if you're an optimist and expect to practice future self-control, you'll be inclined to save your money and pass it along into your own future good hands. Either behavior is self-reinforcing from one year to the next. So--contrary to what we're told by orthodox economic theory--two individuals with exactly the same preferences and exactly the same opportunities can adopt dramatically different attitudes toward saving. If you enjoy contemplating your own future extravagance (as opposed to frugality) then Krusell/Smith reasoning suggests something even more bizarre: The more you expect to be extravagant in the future, the more you'll save to finance that future extravagance. But as soon as you realize you're a "saver," you'll lose confidence in your future extravagance and figure you might as well spend your money today. At that point, you realize you're a "spender" and you go back to saving. Your expectations about the future, and the behavior that stems from them, could fluctuate wildly. Why would human beings have Laibson-style preferences in the first place? Here's a wild speculation. Laibson-style preferences lead to visible attempts at self-control, and visible attempts at self-control are reassuring to potential mates, hence favored by natural selection. If that speculation stands up to some reasonable tests (say a computer simulation of resource competition among individuals with evolving preferences), it could tie the two refrigerator-lock theories together into a single neat package. Gross Conduct Movies American Pie (Universal Pictures). Mixed reviews but a boffo box-office turnout for this teen sex comedy about four high-school seniors determined to lose their virginity. Critics take one of two positions. 1) The gross-out scenes (one youth shtups an apple pie; another drinks a beer laced with semen) are just "sucker bait to entice teenage audiences into the tent to see a movie that is as sweet and sincere at heart as anything Mickey Rooney and Judy Garland ever experienced" (Kenneth Turan, the Los Angeles Times ). 2) Grossness is the film's essence: "[D]irty jokes are inserted at regular intervals like pop songs to perk up the action ... an upper-middle-class Porky's , American Pie is unable to transcend its own dirty mind. Among this year's bumper crop of teenage movies, it is the shallowest and most prurient" (Stephen Holden, the New York Times ). The most positive take comes from the Washington Post 's Michael O'Sullivan, who writes that it's a "warped, hysterical and--believe it or not--sweet little gem of a movie." (Click to read David Edelstein's review in Slate and here to see the trailer that includes footage of the teen-pastry union.) Arlington Road (Sony Screen Gems). Most critics are unimpressed by this thriller starring Jeff Bridges as a professor who becomes convinced that his new neighbor, played by Tim Robbins, is a domestic terrorist. Roger Ebert (the Chicago Sun-Times ) speaks for most critics when he complains that the film "begins well and makes good points, but it flies off the rails in the last 30 minutes. The climax is so implausible we stop caring and start scratching our heads." The New York Times ' Janet Maslin departs from the pack, calling the film a "crackerjack thriller ... well paced and cleverly constructed." (Click here to watch the trailer.) Books True at First Light , by Ernest Hemingway, edited by Patrick Hemingway (Scribner). Critics heap scorn on this edited version of an unfinished "fictional memoir" left behind by Hemingway and crucify the writer's children for their now routine desecration of their father's reputation (see the line of furniture, eyeglasses, and shotguns licensed by Hemingway Ltd.). The prose in this "literary violation" reads "like a parody of Hemingway" (Deirdre Donahue, USA Today ). It "reflects a marvelous writer's disastrous loss of talent" (Kenneth S. Lynn, National Review ); a "sad, bloated, inert so-called book" (L.S. Klepp, Entertainment Weekly ). The New York Times ' Michiko Kakutani, after opening her review with an embarrassing parody of Hemingway's style, writes that "his angular language has turned maudlin and flabby." The most positive review comes from James Wood in the Times Book Review : "The famous style occasionally flares into fineness ... the book is never quite uninteresting." (Click to find out about the legality of publishing a dead person's unfinished work, here to read the first chapter of this book, and here to check out the New York Times ' special on Hemingway including photos, interviews, and essays.) The Metaphysical Touch , by Sylvia Brownrigg (Farrar, Straus & Giroux). Positive reviews for this philosophical novel about an e-mail romance. Although the plot seems ripped from You've Got Mail , the novel is far more sophisticated in its execution--a Milan Kundera-like inquiry into ontology, the uniqueness of e-mail communication, and human existence in general. Brownrigg's forte is her ability to emulate the "curiously banal, clever-clever, quasi-poetic style that seems to afflict so many inhabitants of cyberspace" (Geoff Nicholson, the New York Times Book Review ) in the many epistolary sections of the book, and she "wonderfully captures the ghostly dance of presence and absence that can characterize digital relationships" (Erik Davis, the Voice Literary Supplement ). (Click here to read the first chapter.) A Better War: The Unexamined Victories and the Final Tragedy of America's Last Years in Vietnam , by Lewis Sorley (Harcourt Brace). A retired CIA official and Army officer, Sorley posits a new theory on the Vietnam War: The United States won, but the military victory was immediately undercut by diplomatic backtracking and congressional cowardice. The New York Times Book Review assigned Jeffrey Record to review the book, which seems an odd choice considering that Record just published a book titled The Wrong War: Why We Lost in Vietnam . Record predictably refutes Sorley's thesis ("How does one explain Saigon's fall when, according to Sorley, we had won the war by late 1971?"), but he concedes that "A Better War is a comprehensive and long-overdue examination of the immediate post-Tet offensive years, perhaps the most fascinating years of the war." Other reviewers praise Sorley's research and writing: "A first-rate challenge to the conventional wisdom about American military performance in Vietnam" ( Publishers Weekly ). (Click here to buy the book.) Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban , by J. K. Rowling (Scholastic Trade). The third installment in the British children's series went on sale in England last Thursday, resulting in after-school stampedes on bookstores. Although not available in America for another two months, advance orders have already placed Prisoner of Azkaban at No. 6 on the Amazon best-seller list--and positions one and two are held by the other Harry Potter titles. (The New York Times list has the two available Potter books at positions three and four.) The subject of the new volume is the same as the rest of the series: the life of young wizard Harry Potter, who attends a boarding school for sorcerers. The critics call this one the best Potter adventure yet: It "blends the banal and the fantastic, the everyday and the magical, all with a devilish humour and a timeless sense of style. Spellbinding, enchanting, bewitching stuff" (Paul Davies, the Daily Mirror ). A few gripe that the series is just a formula boys' boarding-school adventure story gussied up with magical trappings (see last week's discussion in Slate 's ), but young readers don't seem to care: According to Bloomsbury, the book's U.K. publisher, Azkaban broke an opening-day sales record--16,853 copies in the first 100 minutes on sale. (Click here to order an advance copy.) Music Friendly Fire , by Joe Lovano and Greg Osby (Blue Note Records). Excellent reviews for the collaboration between two of the '90s' most acclaimed jazz saxophonists. "The telepathy flows on this much-awaited meeting. ... Both men are noted risk-takers and cutting-edge improvisers whose penchant for the maniacal makes them ideal partners" (Karl Stark, the Philadelphia Inquirer ). Gene Seymour writes in Newsday that "there's a sense of play between the two that's almost kinda sweet. Both are assertive. Neither gets in the other's way." The only sour note comes from Don Heckman in the Los Angeles Times , who objects not to the music so much as to the structure: "[T]he basic jam session format ... simply fails to sustain interest for the entire album." (Click here to find out more about Lovano and here to find out more about Osby.) Offspring Obligations Please send your questions for publication to prudence@slate.com. Dear Prudence, The twit who inquired about dissing the offspring of the discarded relatives needs perhaps something more along the lines of a swift kick in the rear. If these are older children, as is suggested by requests for letters of recommendation and invites to graduations, then these are more or less formed people, who deserve to be accepted or rejected on their own merits--not for any slight their parents may or may not have committed. Anything less is the moral equivalent of present-day Jews not buying a new VW Beetle because it's made by a German company, a sort of inherited grudge, if not racism. In England, they think people are important, or not, based on their birth. This is America, and we hold that people deserve to be admired or respected because they have earned respect or admiration. --Yours, Mike C., Brunswick, Maine Dear Mike, Though Prudie doubts the estranged relative will be swayed by your opinion, Prudie agrees with you and hopes that your thoughts might make a difference in someone else's thinking. --Prudie, agreeably Dear Prudie, We have close friends who have us to their home for dinner almost every week. (The wife doesn't want to go out or come to our house.) When we're there, however, she spends a large part of the evening on the phone or on the computer. Her husband says she actually spends less time on either because we're there. Should we be honored or insulted? --Insulted and Ignored Dear Ig, I don't know what her problem is, but I bet it's hard to pronounce. The mistake that is commonly made about neurotics is to suppose that they are interesting. It is not interesting to be engrossed with oneself and socially idiosyncratic. Or rude. It sounds to Prudie as though there is a genuine friendship amongst the four of you, though given the wife's peculiarities, it may be that the man is the primary friend. If this has been going on for a long time, which is what Prudie infers, go along with the program without being honored or insulted. The woman's behavior has little to do with you. For whatever reason, she is glued to her house and not interested in social intercourse. Prudie hopes, by the way, that the hospitality-free hostess is a good cook. --Prudie, understandingly Dear Prudence, As you no doubt know, living with roommates is no longer just a college thing. Many single adults live with other nonrelated adults to defray the high cost of city rents. I currently share a four-bedroom house with three other people. Here's the problem: Three of us don't like the fourth and are unsure of how to get rid of him. What's wrong with Roommate No. 4? Well, that's difficult to put a name to. He does his chores, pays rent on time, isn't noisy at night, and isn't messy. The problem is he's a know-it-all with something negative to say about everything. What makes the situation difficult is that there's no obvious reason to ask him to leave, and he seems intent on staying. It's to the point where at least two of us bristle when we hear him come through the door. He is oblivious. We aren't comfortable saying, "We just don't like you. Please leave." Is there a polite way to tell him, "This just isn't working out"? Is that even legal? I'm the only original lease-signer still living in the house, and we now rent month-to-month. He's lived here a little over two years. Your assistance is appreciated. --Sincerely, Have a Nice Life Somewhere Else Dear Have, Prudie has met people like the roommate you describe. She calls them The World's Greatest Experts, because they know everything. But to answer your question: There is nothing legally tricky in your situation, though you might have to give him a month's notice. On month-to-month tenancies, tenant or landlord has to give notice, usually equivalent to the period of rent payments. This may not apply to nonsignatory roommates, but it seems the decent thing. There is nothing wrong with saying, "This isn't working well," or "Sometimes it's just time for a change." Prudie would say, simply because she couldn't resist, "We don't know how to tell you this, but the three of us are seeing someone else." --Prudie, puckishly Dear Prudence, Am I obliged to return a voice mail that is garbled ... where the name of the person and most of the message is garbled (because the caller is slurring), but the number is the only understandable part of the message? --Slurred Off in Melbourne, Australia Dear Slur, This all depends on the mood you're in. Unclear messages are annoying, and you have every right to ignore them. If the number, however, is clear, and you're feeling charitable, you might call back and say, "This is Slurred Off. I have no idea what you said in your message, but I am returning your call." If the number is familiar to you, this may help to decide which way you're going to play it. And just FYI, if people think it's important to reach you, they will keep trying. And keep in mind that we are dealing with machinery. Slurred messages are not always signs of Jim Beam or careless callers. They may, in fact, be courtesy of faulty microchips. --Prudie, clearly Dear Prudie, In re "In Need of Help in Ohio ," I think I am half of "this other couple who invited us to be their guests at a minor league baseball game." I think I'll call and let them off the hook, maybe schedule a dinner or something ... --D. Dear D., How wonderful that both parties in a dilemma are reading Prudie! This just proves that virtual reality is its own reward. --Prudie, ecstatically Cups, Bras, and Athletic Supporters "Girls Rule!" screams Newsweek 's cover story on the U.S. soccer team's victory in the Women's World Cup. "Women's sports take giant leap," exults USA Today . Everyone agrees the tournament was a cultural leap forward--but in which direction? Beneath the celebration lurks a struggle between equality feminists, who think the tournament proved that women can be just like men, and difference feminists, who think it showed how women are different and better. The spin contest covers four issues: individualism , sex , careerism , and playing dirty . 1. Individualism. Equality feminists want each woman to assert herself. One school of egalitarians sees the World Cup as a demonstration that women can be "independent." Another school, illustrated by the Gatorade ad that shows U.S. soccer star Mia Hamm battling Michael Jordan at various sports, pushes the idea that women should embrace competition. "Anything you can do, I can do better," goes the ad's jingle. A third school, influenced by male sports marketing, selects certain players on the women's team and pitches them as solo stars. Several male columnists ignore most of the championship game and focus on the game-ending goal by American defender Brandi Chastain--"a shootout, womano a womano," with "one winner, one loser, everybody holding their breath." Difference feminists draw the opposite lessons. They reject the rampant individualism of "loutish male basketball and baseball players," as the New York Times ' George Vecsey puts it, and they celebrate the U.S. women's squad as a collectivist countermodel. "U.S. Takes One for the Team--Collective Selflessness Culminates in Title at Women's World Cup," beams the Washington Post 's front-page headline. Newsweek , picking up the "selflessness" theme, praises U.S. players who "accepted diminished roles" and offered "to do anything I'm asked for this team." Contrary to the Gatorade ad, the magazine reports with admiration that Hamm "sees herself as a solid cog in a remarkably powerful machine" and "refuses to acknowledge that she's a player with unique gifts." Some difference feminists suggest women are born this way. Vecsey, for example, calls them "innately good teammates." Others attribute their selflessness to environmental programming. According to Newsweek 's account of the U.S. team's preparation, "Roommates were switched at every stop on the World Cup road to prevent cliques from forming. As the tourney progressed, the imaging tapes, designed to be watched in private, were shown in groups." The resulting collective consciousness is captured in Nike ads that depict the players doing everything together. In one ad, a player goes out on a date, and her teammates tag along. In another, a male dentist who has given one of the players two fillings stares in amazement as one teammate after another rises, zombielike, to declare, "Then I will have two fillings!" Equality feminists find this celebration of selflessness creepy, but it's not just being foisted on women by male writers. World Cup Chairwoman Donna de Varona lauds the American players' "humility." Time columnist Margaret Carlson praises "their unassuming ways." One player, Kristine Lilly, says the team is "like a second family. Female sports are different. You do a lot better when you care about each other. We are nurturing people, caring people. ... We all want to see each other happy." 2. Sex. Many difference feminists celebrate the U.S. women team's sex appeal, recycling David Letterman's descriptions of the team as "Babe City" and "Soccer Mamas." The icon of these pro-sex feminists is Chastain, the player who posed nude (but not lasciviously) in Gear magazine, kicked the winning goal, and then tore off her jersey and bounded around the field in a black sports bra. Equality feminists worry that the players' exploitation of their physiques is self-objectifying and retro. Pro-sex difference feminists find their heroine under attack less from the left than from a scandalized news media elite. Sunday morning talk show hosts asked Chastain in a tone of polite disbelief what in God's name prompted her to tear off her jersey. "What are you thinking ? What are you doing ?" stammered ABC's Robin Roberts. Newsweek says Chastain had posed for "a lowbrow men's magazine"; the Post 's Ann Gerhart calls it "the frat boy's Esquire ." Time calls her jersey-removal flourish a "strip" and jokes, "Hey, her name is Chastain, not Chaste." Purists prefer to praise Michelle Akers, the less flashy midfield workhorse who has pronounced herself "a bit uncomfortable with Brandi's deal." Chastain's defenders offer several counterspins. First there's the pro-choice defense, which says every woman's choice should be respected, whether it's running marathons or posing for Gear . Then there's the "sexy to be strong" defense, which praises the U.S. women for adding muscle tone to our idea of feminine beauty. Then there's the "have it all" defense. As USA Today 's Jill Lieber puts it, the team's "message" is that "you can have it all. ... That if you're also driven, determined, aggressive, tough and committed, you can captivate Tom Brokaw, David Letterman and the nation with your brawn and your brain, your femininity and sexuality, your athletic skills and your 'babeness.' " Some equality feminists also take Chastain's side. Their superficial spin is that male players whip off their shirts all the time, and women should be able to do the same. Their subtler spin, well-expressed by Gerhart, is that Chastain "has brought instant attention to a piece of clothing that is humble and practical--not a traditional bra of shine and lace and cleavage, but a sturdy compression garment. The sports bra is the cloth symbol of Title IX's success." The crudest egalitarian spin is that Chastain is using her sex appeal to get attention but that this is OK because she's using the attention to make money, just as men do. As a Newsweek essayist puts it, the team is "having some fun--not to mention making some profit--with America's sexual obsession." 3. Career and family. Equality feminists measure the team's success by its paychecks, complaining that its salaries are "meager by men's standards," and its bonuses for winning "pale in comparison" to what men get. Noting the team's decision to arrange its own tour of promotional matches, contrary to plans made by the U.S. Soccer Federation, the Post says the players are "determined to promote and pay themselves better than they believe the [USSF] has." Time , agreeing that the team has boosted its negotiating leverage, beams, "Welcome to the big time, ladies." Difference feminists reject "the big time" as a crude, ugly, and destructive male pursuit. They celebrate the U.S. women's comparative innocence. "In an era when the egos of male athletes are dwarfed only by their paychecks, the World Cup women, minimum wagers by pro-sports standards, reminded the country that sports superstars can be gracious and grateful," coos Newsweek . CNN's Bruce Morton observes approvingly that unlike male athletes, the female players don't "have million dollar contracts or big shoe deals. They actually seem to play because they love their game." Meanwhile, the World Cup coverage exalts players who focus on their families. Several articles applaud "soccer moms" Carla Overbeck and Joy Fawcett, as well as Hamm's devotion to her Marine husband overseas ("We've sacrificed so much," Hamm told USA Today ). Even the World Cup's CEO, Marla Messing, is glowingly profiled for stepping aside to stay home with her kids. She "plans to turn her attention from filling stadiums nationwide to bringing a much smaller crowd together: her family," the Post reports. Now "her most serious ambition is to get reacquainted with her husband ... and daughters." 4. Playing dirty. Difference feminists portray women's soccer as more civil and noble than men's soccer. As Vecsey puts it, women eschew "the cynical fouls and flagrant flops of the men." Equality feminists draw a different lesson: The World Cup showed that women can body-slam, curse, and cheat just like men. Each of these vices has an exemplar on the U.S. team. Akers has been elected to represent body-slamming, with the Post 's William Gildea calling her "the Dick Butkus of women's soccer." A 13-year-old boy interviewed by the Los Angeles Times pays her the ultimate adolescent male compliment: "Michelle Akers, she's my thug." Chastain represents crude language as well as physical immodesty. Before the championship game, she was notorious for defending her Gear spread by observing, "I ran my ass off for this body." After she kicked the winning goal, ABC put a microphone in her face and asked her to tell the nation about Akers. "She's the toughest goddamn player I've ever played with or against," Chastain blurted. Sportswriters chuckle at Chastain's "salty" language and call it "another step" toward gender parity in athletics. The team's goalie, Briana Scurry, represents cheating. It was she, more than Chastain, who won the game by blocking one Chinese kick in the shootout. Scurry did it by sneaking forward, against the rules, to narrow the shooter's angle before the kick. Far from chastising Scurry, male sportswriters are congratulating her on her "savvy." "Yes, she said later, she knew she was breaking the rules," concludes Bill Plaschke of the Los Angeles Times . "But because the referees didn't call it, it apparently falls under the heading of gamesmanship. 'Everybody does it,' she said. 'It's only cheating if you get caught.' Sports equality indeed." Stanley Steamed Movies Eyes Wide Shut (Warner Bros.). Thumbs go up, down, and every which way for the final film by director Stanley Kubrick, who died shortly after wrapping the movie. Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman star as a married couple entangled in sexual jealousy, but the critics focus largely on Kubrick's work. Roger Ebert (the Chicago Sun-Times ) labels it "a worthy final chapter to a great director's career," and Janet Maslin (the New York Times ) raves that it's his riskiest film and "a spellbinding addition to the Kubrick canon." Michiko Kakutani (the New York Times ) begs to differ, complaining that the director's "meticulous, detail-oriented approach has sucked all spontaneity and passion from the picture." Most reviewers pillory the film's highly publicized group-sex scene, in which human figures were digitally inserted to avoid an NC-17 rating: "the most pompous orgy in the history of the movies" (David Denby, The New Yorker ), and "one of the least erotic orgies ever filmed" (Kenneth Turan, the Los Angeles Times ). (Click for Slate critic David Edelstein's review and for an "Explainer" on Arthur Schnitzler, who wrote the novella that Eyes Wide Shut is based on. Click here to see the trailers.) The Blair Witch Project (Artisan Entertainment). A big hit at this year's Sundance Film Festival, this first feature produced by five film-school graduates from Florida steals some of Kubrick's opening-weekend thunder. Its mockumentary premise: Three young filmmakers disappear while trekking through the woods of Maryland in search of a local witch; a year later, their footage is found and presented as The Blair Witch Project . The trio get increasingly suspicious of each other as they hear eerie sounds in the night and find mysterious bundles of sticks hanging from trees, and by the end they're running for their lives. With its tiny budget of $75,000, the film cleverly keeps the evil off-screen: "Most of the time, it's what the three witch-searchers don't see--but fear--that gets our petrified juices flowing or curdling. This is low-tech inventiveness at its best" (Desson Howe, the Washington Post ). BWP is "the new face of movie horror" (Peter Travers, Rolling Stone ), and it ends with "as heart-stopping a climax as any the genre has seen in years" (Jay Carr, the Boston Globe ). The Los Angeles Times ' Kevin Thomas demurs, knocking it as "a clever, entertaining stunt, no more, no less," but Joe Morgenstern (the Wall Street Journal ) advises, "Don't see this ingenious first feature if you believe in ghosts." (Click here to see the movie's official Web site, with more back-story on the mockumentary.) Lake Placid (20 th Century Fox). Neither Kubrick nor the first-time filmmakers from Blair Witch Project have much to fear in the way of competition from this flaccid creature feature, written by David E. Kelley ( The Practice , Ally McBeal ). At a fictional lake in Maine--not the real Lake Placid in New York--Bridget Fonda and Bill Pullman take on a 30-foot migrant crocodile from Asia. (Movie critics seem to have a hard time telling a crocodile from an alligator.) Maslin (the New York Times ) does find bright spots in the dialogue, the "divinely cheesy" special effects, and the supporting cast, which includes Oliver Platt and The General 's Brendan Gleeson. But "since even the gator horror satire is old hat (remember Alligator ?), there's no remaining way to make this interesting." Or, as Harry Knowles ( Ain't It Cool News ) neatly puts it: Placid is "the worst giant alligator movie known to man." (Click here to play the official site's wacky Croc Drop game.) Book A Short History of Rudeness: Manners, Morals, and Misbehavior in Modern America , by Mark Caldwell (Picador). No one argues that Caldwell is the first historian to survey the origin and use of manners, but whether he adds much to the discussion is another question. David Bowman (the Village Voice ) calls Short History "an amusing but lightweight read" and notes that "even Mick Jagger had a more rigorous take on the subject ... in 'Sympathy for the Devil.' " The NYT 's Richard Eder takes a harsher line: "These broader subjects are treated in books and magazines and the slow sections of newspapers." Most reviewers notice Caldwell's positive spin on the much-maligned Martha Stewart--that she democratizes civilized living by making it not a matter of class, but simply of good habits, which anyone can learn. "It's difficult to recall a single book in which [manners] are discussed as comprehensively and intelligently as in this one ... the definitive book on the subject--at least for now" (Jonathan Yardley, the Washington Post ). (Click here to buy the book.) Music Significant Other , by Limp Bizkit (Flip-Interscope). The notoriously potty-mouthed rap/metal quintet matures a bit on the follow-up to its 1997 debut, Three Dollar Bill, Y'All$ . The band occasionally departs from its hard-core speed metal and ventures into "melodic interludes, user-friendly grooves, and actual harmonious vocals" (Lorraine Ali, Rolling Stone ). The lyrics, by singer Fred Durst (who clambers out of a toilet during the band's stage act), are "still the stuff of monochromatic dude talk," but sometimes they hint at something deeper--like when "the formerly promiscuous singer confesses his shame for past recreational nookie sessions" (Ali). "The unholy matrimony of metal and rap celebrates another victory on this superb sophomore effort" (Amy Sciarretto, College Music Journal ). (Click here to buy Significant Other and here to buy Three Dollar Bill, Y'All$ .) Snap Judgment Book Inside the Oval Office: White House Tapes From FDR to Clinton , by William Doyle (Kodansha International). Doyle's look at the audio-taping practices of 10 presidents is a "valuable history and comparative survey" (Ron Rosenbaum, the New York Times Book Review ). Doyle, a "master of crackling prose" (Richard R. Roberts, the Indianapolis Star ), provides insightful transcripts from key moments, such as the Cuban missile crisis and the final days of the Nixon administration. (Click here to buy the book.) The Happy Pornographers I suppose it sounds strange to call Boogie Nights yet another drama of family values. The film follows a well-hung stud in the Los Angeles porn-flick industry, and it doesn't shy away from recounting his lewder adventures. It even invites us to love him and all his scummy, sinning friends. Our hero, Eddie (Mark Wahlberg--but this sounds all wrong, you still want to call him Marky Mark), is recruited into the world of porn in 1977, when he is 17. This happens because Eddie still lives at home with his awful parents; a wimpy father and a drunken mother, who runs around the house calling him stupid. He dreams vaguely of stardom, but for the time being works as a dishwasher in a nightclub. One night, a customer, Jack Horner (Burt Reynolds), who happens to be a porn director, spots talent beneath Eddie's bulging zipper. Back in the kitchen, Jack asks him to pull out his love gun. His suspicions are confirmed, and he tells Eddie to call him about getting into the business. We know we should be horrified, but we're not. We've seen Eddie's mom. We know how badly he needs a pat on the back. Against our better instincts, we think, "Go with this nice older man." The writer and director of Boogie Nights , Paul Thomas Anderson, waits awhile before playing his cards. The early scenes unfold with a patience that's rare in movies these days. Like a kinder, gentler Robert Altman, Anderson takes time to introduce us to his underground drifters. Eddie goes for his audition, which turns out to be sex on Jack's couch with a pretty but inappropriately cheerful runaway, Rollergirl (Heather Graham), so named because she lives her whole life on skates. Soon he's shooting his debut movie under the name of Dirk Diggler. His first day on the set is a classic novice-in-Hollywood scene, except that the logistics of the shoot involve the cleansing of vaginas and polite whispered negotiations about where to ejaculate. The atmosphere is supportive, even wholesome, until Anderson finally stirs in some sicko stuff. A woman at a pool party ODs. Another woman, who is married, has sex with a stranger on the driveway while five strangers stand around watching. Slowly, Anderson cooks up a simultaneously lighthearted and sinister mood, as if this were a thriller set at summer camp. He seems to be saying that there are two sides to every situation, and he's helped out immensely by Wahlberg's charismatic and subtle performance as Eddie-turned-Dirk. This is a character to whom it would be easy to condescend, but Wahlberg captures his nobility without skimping on his stupidity. When Eddie starts out, he thinks of sex as a calling, a gift he can give to people. Wahlberg is heartbreakingly natural as this ignorant naif; he cries out to be protected, like a puppy whose paws and ears are still disproportionately large. He's vulnerable without the narcissism that has characterized so much vulnerable-male acting since Brando. I suppose it's central to his appeal that his looks even shift from macho to feminine: At different points his tiny eyes and wide, thin-lipped mouth reminded me of the preppy convicted rapist Alex Kelly, and the French Canadian actress Genevieve Bujold. Boogie Nights follows Dirk from 1977, when promiscuity was still socially acceptable and porn actors still dreamed of being recognized as legitimate artists, through 1984, by which time a combination of Reagan-era values and the rise of low-quality video has brought the industry crashing back to earth. It's an ambitiously wide time span to take on, especially since the audience is likely to know it intimately, but for the most part, Anderson gets the tight shirts and the light-blue eye shadow and the fake wood paneling right. There are scratches on the veneer of authenticity, though. The soundtrack is less evocative than hyperactive: It runs the gamut from Eric Burdon & War's "Spill The Wine" to Rick Springfield's "Jesse's Girl," and the songs are usually heard several years later than people in real life would have listened to them. And Rollergirl should have thrown out her skates long before the movie ended in 1984. As I recall it, the entire country spent the early '80s in a seizure of revulsion over the late '70s, and the brief disco-era roller-skating fad placed a close second to Vietnam in terms of national shame. There's an indiscriminateness to these lapses, an overconfidence. In the press kit, Anderson is quoted as saying, with amazing chutzpah, that he called on his "very specific memories of the way Los Angeles looked and felt" to re-create the period. The press kit also informs us that Anderson is 26, which means that what we're seeing is based on the memories of a 6-year-old. In a way, this sloppy handling of the retro elements is refreshing. Anderson is young enough to be post-hip and post-ironic, if such terms are possible (can anything still be post-anything nonironically?). He's got a sense of humor, but he's more interested in character and motivation. Jack Horner's entourage is explicitly presented as a dysfunctional makeshift family: Besides father Jack and sister Rollergirl, Dirk finds a mother figure in the porn actress Amber Waves (Julianne Moore, who does a good job of looking beautiful in one scene and puffy in the next), and a brother in the ugly, dumb, good-natured hack actor Reed Rothchild (John C. Reilly). Dirk and this group slowly isolate themselves from the world. They shield and indulge each other; they snort coke together the way a regular family might grill hot dogs. And as a shrink might say, they lack boundaries. Amber is sad because she has a little son she's no longer allowed to see. So she tells Dirk that she loves him as if he were her baby, and then she seduces him. Their strong feelings for each other are real, but they are also astonishing feats of denial, and Anderson acts as both sympathizer and judge. The idea that wherever we are, we need a family, is interesting, up to a point. It was the main conceit in Anderson's first film, Hard Eight , a neo-noir set in Reno, Nev., about an ex-mobster who takes on an imbecile protg and loves him like a son. But like any idea, it gets simplistic when carried too far, and late in Boogie Nights it explodes into cheap melodrama. Without a good role model to guide him, Dirk snorts so much coke that his one real talent poops out. He slides downhill and gets beaten up--punished, essentially, for having gone too far with this fantasy family and having lost his grip on reality. And in an extremely sadistic overlapping scene, we see Rollergirl momentarily burst out of her passive bubble and brutalize one jerk for all the abuse men have subjected her to over the years. Without guidance, she's lost all morals and turned into a cauldron of rage. These late scenes are over the top, as mean and reductive as editorials in a tabloid, and they nearly extinguish the moral subtlety of what's gone before. One even hopes they are insincere, an attempt by Anderson to stay in step with the Zeitgeist of the '90s and the Promise Keepers. It would be a shame if someone this talented meant them in earnest. "She's a mother to all those who need love."--Diggler (Wahlberg), Horner (Reynolds), and Waves (Moore) in Boogie Nights (41 seconds) : "Chocolate love"--Buck Swope (Don Cheadle) and Becky Barnett (Nicole Ari Parker) discuss style in Boogie Nights (37 seconds) : No. 281: "Sign Here" Five years ago, at a cost of $1,200, Vicksburg, Miss., erected two identical signs. Now one has been spray-painted with the word "hypocrite," and the other has been smashed to pieces. What do the signs say? Send your answer by noon ET Tuesday to newsquiz@slate.com . Thursday's Question (No. 280)--"Perturbed": According to the Times of London, around the first of the year, something will happen on Long Island that scientists believe has a small but genuine chance of causing "perturbations of the universe" that could destroy the world. What will happen? ( Question courtesy of Jennifer Miller.) "Hey! Lay off Bernadette Peters. She's settled down now."--Al Petrosky "According to Pierre Salinger, the U.S. Navy will resume testing of the same missiles that brought down TWA Flight 800."-- Chris Thomas "The Gimelsteins, of Lawrence, will order tastefully understated invitations to their daughter's bat mitzvah."-- Jordan Kroop "Peggy Siegel will list Mort Zuckerman as a 'confirmed arrival' even though he hasn't RSVP'd."-- Hendrik Hertzberg "A trumpet will sound and John Fitzgerald Kennedy Jr. will rise out of the Sound, clothed in pure white, shining like the sun, surrounded by the hosts of heaven."-- Richard A. DeCamp Click for more answers. Randy's Wrap-Up One reason Long Island epitomizes boredom is because of its ur-suburb, Levittown, tedium expressed as architecture. For one thing, it's relentless--80,000 houses. (In 1949, you could get a four-room Cape Cod cottage for under $8,000.) For another, you can't walk anywhere, and even if you could, you wouldn't be any place once you got there--no civic center, no parks, no shopping district. This was not an inevitable consequence of suburbia--in his book City Life , Witold Rybczynski describes many delightful suburbs built in America since the 1920s--this was simply bad design. One thing these postwar tract-home developments did have in abundance was kids, and considered as kid cities, they were wonderfully designed. There were generous kid recreation grounds, the unfenced backyards through which we swarmed. There were kid civic centers where we met one another; they were called "schools." And you got to them via the excellent kid transit system, bicycles. There was even a mobile dessert van, the ice cream truck, that came around each evening, offering kid food. In my suburb, Pennside, the ice cream man was Popsicle Pete--not C rme Brle Pete, not Chocolate Mousse Pete. It was a kid's world. End of the World Answer Brookhaven National Laboratories will crank up its Relativistic Heavy Ion Collider, a nuclear accelerator designed to replicate the Big Bang. When they do, ions moving at 99.9 percent of the speed of light will smash into each other, generating minuscule fireballs of superdense matter with temperatures of about a trillion degrees, 10,000 times hotter than the sun, creating quarks and gluons and--fingers crossed--strange quarks. Some physicists assert that there is a tiny but real risk that the machine might create "strangelets," a new type of matter made up of strange quarks, which might start an uncontrollable chain reaction, converting anything they touch into more strange matter. An alternative, but no cheerier, theory suggests that colliding particles could achieve sufficient density to form a mini-black hole whose gravitational field would suck in all surrounding matter. "The creation of one on Earth," the Times points out, "could be disastrous." Brookhaven has convened a committee to investigate the danger. Professor Bob Jaffe, director of the Center for Theoretical Physics at MIT, who is on the committee, told the Times , "There have been fears that strange matter could alter the structure of anything nearby. The risk is exceedingly small but the probability of something unusual happening is not zero." Death and Music Extra This weekend, two events drew huge crowds--the funeral of Morocco's King Hassan, and Woodstock '99. A comparison: Capsule Description Funeral: a moving tribute to a fallen leader Festival: three days of peace, love, music, looting, arson, and riot New York Times Description of Crowd Funeral: "hundreds of thousands of mourners" Festival: "marauding bands of shirtless bellowing men" Distinguished Guests Funeral: dozens of kings, presidents, and prime ministers Festival: a sun-addled James Brown Most Moving Image Funeral: gun carriage bearing a king's coffin Festival: Metallica fans pushing over a Portasan Frequently Heard Cry Funeral: "God is great!" Festival: "Let's set fire to the pretzel truck!" Catalyst for Outburst of Emotion Funeral: death of a longtime monarch Festival: $4? For a bag of potato chips? Heartfelt Remarks From Ordinary Person in Crowd Funeral: "He was like a father." Festival: "I'm going to steal some more stuff." Lesson Learned Funeral: Death comes to us all Festival: "Should have spent the $60 for pay-per-view." Errata "charybdis.com does exist; carybdis is a misspelling, so it is no surprise that it does not. (I'm afraid I've taken too much Latin for any sane person.)"-- Jeff Newman Common Denominator Hillary and Amy. He Got Balls Basketball! It's played amid the cornfields of the Midwest by lanky boys with flaxen hair and 'twixt the housing projects by the troubled shores of Coney Island, where otherwise powerless young African-Americans bestride the courts like colossi. Basketball! The young gods swivel, unwind, suspend themselves in air, the orange orb that spins from their fingers as splendid for an instant as the sun, until it drops--swish!--through nets like filigree to the earth from whence it sprung. Basketball! So lyrically American you can almost hear the dissonant yearnings of Aaron Copland. Wait a minute, that is Aaron Copland--a gay, white Jew on the soundtrack of a Spike Lee movie! The opening montage of He Got Game leaves no doubt as to the mythopoetic intentions of its fiercely enterprising director: Basketball, not baseball, is the pastime of the nation Lee inhabits. And He Got Game is poised to be Lee's Great African-American Myth, a tale that encompasses the tragedies of the past, the turbulence of the present, the messianic longings of the future. So much ambition, dynamism, visual energy, bullshit. I confess: I come to a Spike Lee "joint" with suspicion, prepared to fight off the propaganda, to sort through the messages and scrutinize the codes. The hope is always there, though, that Lee will transcend his anger and egotism and paranoia and make a film that feels organic--that doesn't add up to another sterling specimen of the "Watch That Man Cook!" school of movie making, in which razzle-dazzle outshines content and the auteur upstages his own work. It's a testament to Lee's talent that, hobbled as he is by a chip on his shoulder the size of a planet and aspirations often laughably outsized, he has managed to make a film as entertaining as He Got Game . Uneven, ludicrous, but--oh man!--fun to watch. He got balls. The picture has one of the oldest pulp plots in the business, last used to rousing effect in John Carpenter's Escape From New York (1981): A convict is sprung from prison, promised liberty by an untrustworthy government in return for accomplishing a morally ambiguous task that no one else can do, given a strict deadline, and ruthlessly monitored by his ex-captors. Here the convict is Jake Shuttlesworth (Denzel Washington), and his mission is to go into the projects of Coney Island, where his son Jesus (played by the 22-year-old Milwaukee Bucks guard Ray Allen) is a high-school basketball player of near divine abilities. Jake must convince his son to sign a letter of intent that he'll enroll in Big State University, the state governor's alma mater. The obstacles, however, are formidable. Jesus is currently under siege by coaches, agents, and their unsavory minions, all of whom proffer money, cars, sex, and sundry other illegal inducements to sign with their colleges or professional teams. More of an obstacle still is the relationship between father and son, which has been poisoned by the death of the young man's mother under circumstances that Lee keeps cunningly under wraps until the movie's galvanic climax, in which the two men go mano a mano on the basketball court. This is sure-fire material, and Lee structures it deftly, leaving us in the dark until the end as to why Jake--a manifestly decent, soft-spoken, cagey fellow, gorgeously underplayed by Washington--ended up in prison in the first place. Meanwhile, He Got Game teems with ... stuff. Lee's syntax can be legitimately labeled Brechtian. The narrative is incessantly interrupted by cinematic placards, exhortations, lectures about staying in school (in the form of letters from the boy's dead mother, played by Lonette McKee), and inserts depicting the evils of drugs and alcohol. The characters are photographed iconically, as in an Eisenstein film: the spiritually crippled black dad with his modest Afro against the weather-beaten relic of a Coney Island ride, for example. Lee, who has started his own advertising firm and is noted for his hyperbolic Nike commercials, is always selling something (I pat myself on the back for titling my Village Voice review of Lee's 1986 first feature, She's Gotta Have It , "Birth of a Salesman"), and his work is never sharper than when his characters are selling something, too--delivering some kind of spiel as if their very existences depended on it. (Some of the spielers here include real NCAA and NBA coaches, along with a hilarious mock-religious turn by John Turturro as Coach Billy Sunday.) Supersensitive to criticism these days, Lee has built in all kinds of protections against charges of racism and misogyny. A preening Italian-American sports agent (Al Palagonia) declares that he has no mob ties and that he resents being stereotyped, shortly before delivering a stereotypical (and very funny, Scorsese-esque) recitation of the luxuries (Ferraris, Rolexes, mansions) that await Jesus if he signs on the dotted line. Lala Bonilla (Rosario Dawson), the amusingly named Delilah dispatched to seduce the young star, gets a monologue near the end in which she justifies her actions on socioeconomic grounds. And, as a counterpoint to all the luscious, bare-breasted white girls used to tempt the hero into playing for the Man, there's a hooker (the model Milla Jovovich, the film's most unlikely bit of casting, made to look like a near albino) who's exploited and knocked around by a jittery black pimp (Thomas Jefferson Byrd) so sadistic that if this film had been made by a white director he'd have been cited (most likely by Lee) as a flagrant racist outrage. As on a basketball, the seams of the movie show. Stanley Crouch (who gleefully refers to Lee as "the diminutive director") has pointed out that Lee resembles the hero of Preston Sturges' Sullivan's Travels , a lightweight who strives to make an unwieldy epic called O Brother, Where Art Thou? (Actually, this joke was first made by E. Max Frye in his underrated 1993 farce Amos & Andrew , in which a Spike-like playwright has a Broadway hit called Yo Brother, Where Art Thou? ) Lee's use of Copland pieces such as "Lincoln Portrait," "Rodeo," "Appalachian Spring," and "Fanfare for the Common Man" too transparently pump up the picture's already pumped-up visuals, and his b-ball variation on the religioso finale of Lars von Triers' Breaking the Waves (1996) is as daft as it was in the original. What transforms He Got Game is Lee's love for the sport and his intimacy with its nuances. Spike knows basketball. He filmed in and around Brooklyn's Lincoln High, which is also the setting of Darcy Frey's superb book The Last Shot: City Streets, Basketball Dreams , an equally panoramic but more grounded portrait of the game's meaning to the denizens of the Coney Island projects. Lee might view the sport as a metaphor--as both a way out and a trap for young African-Americans--but he never lets the metaphor gum up the realities of the game. On the contrary, the metaphor intensifies the action on the court, which can seem kinetic to the point of spontaneous combustion, as pressure to perform tears families up and turns black man against black man. If, on occasion, Lee's serpentine camera seems more active than the players he's shooting, he knows just when to speed the play up, when to slow it down, and when to let it unfold in real time. And he gets a charming performance from Allen, who, in his acting debut, occupies his pedestal with grace and diffidence. The "diminutive director" never evinces more stature than when he's looking up in awe. The Rating Game X-it Strategy David Edelstein's ("Blame Blockbuster, Not the MPAA") makes good points about the way that the after-market also influences what can be seen in theaters. But I believe the MPAA is partly to blame for that situation, because it allowed first the X and then its clone the NC-17 to be described as categories hospitable to hard-core pornography. My hope is that an A rating would work specifically because the NC-17 would be retained, to give Blockbuster something to feel pious about. The current situation has become impossible. The R rating has been stretched to the bursting point and now permits material that would have been NC-17 a few years ago. Yet a Kubrick film cannot be seen as he intended it. -- Roger Ebert Chicago Burning Bush I was disappointed in Michael Kinsley's "" because it took so many cheap shots and was so internally inconsistent. He first asserts that George W. Bush's having an opinion about how one gets to heaven is tantamount to "condemning most of humanity." Then, in response to Bush's efforts to get out of this subject by stating that God decides who goes to heaven, Kinsley mocks him, noting that "we can stipulate that God decides." Well, which is it--is Bush "condemning" people by having an opinion, or is he a weenie for saying that God decides? Then, after frying Bush for having a view, idly wondering if he is an anti-Semite, and criticizing him for trying to avoid a theological quagmire in the midst of a political campaign, Kinsley attacks him and others for not sticking to their true views and also criticizes the general public (to which he was pandering only a few column inches previously) for caring about what other people believe about such issues. Really--it seems like Mike is trying to have his cake and eat it several times. -- Steve Aeschbacher Woodinville, Wash. The Road to Hell Who in the hell cares whether anyone thinks someone else will go to heaven? (See Michael Kinsley's "Go to Hell") Does this belief change one's ability to govern? This should only matter if the person governing is governing over the place where admission to same is the governor's prerogative. As long as the religious belief of the person governing does not promote or condone acts of violence against those governed, or in the repression of those who fail to share his/her religious convictions, then the beliefs that the governor holds are not a newsworthy event, or even the public's business. We in the United States seem to give too much weight to things that do not have any bearing on the person's ability to lead the country. I couldn't have cared less if President Clinton had an extramarital affair, other than that he spent taxpayer money to get on television and swear to us repeatedly that it did not happen. His affair has no bearing on his ability to do his job ... his dishonesty does. If we ever prove that George W. Bush has lied to us at our expense, then this will be a factor that should be weighed in determining his ability to truly lead this country. But otherwise, so long as his religious convictions, no matter how weak or strong they may be, are not geared toward the outright oppression or destruction/neglect of those who fail to share his views, they should not matter, and warrant no scrutiny. -- Jeffrey K. Honor Raleigh, N.C. Closing the Circle I shall direct my remarks to Ellen McGarrahan (""). I, like you, on the morning of May 4, 1990, attended the legal execution of Jesse Tafero, at the Florida State Prison. I, like you, was attending his execution as a witness, not for my former employer, the Florida Highway Patrol, but to complete a cycle. A promise to myself, as it were. You see, unlike you, I was on the scene the morning of Sept. 19, 1976, after Jesse Tafero shot and killed state trooper Phillip A. Black and his friend Canadian constable Donald Irwin. Irwin was unarmed. I will save you the description of the scene that morning, but it is indelible in my mind, as Tafero's execution obviously is in yours. Your murderer, you said, suffered for seven minutes. I cannot tell you the length of time it took Black and Irwin to die. Irwin was shot through the eye. Black was shot multiple times and had a stun gun used on him. Then the two were left to die on the pavement. I thought it more than a little curious that you did not mention those fine law enforcement officers in your article. I realize the purpose of your article was to indict the electric chair, as well as to generate sympathy for the likes of Jesse Tafero. Yes, the death penalty involves death. Unfortunately, it is often the death of a law enforcement officer that initiates the process. I am somewhat surprised that you did not invoke that over-worn liberal word "deterrent" somewhere in your article. But then your essay was not against the use of capital punishment, only the barbaric electric chair. Well, I'm sorry that I cannot join your indignant outrage. If someone being electrocuted in the chair, God forbid, happens to get burned or suffer a nosebleed, so be it. One fact remains above all others; it was Jesse Tafero's choice. -- Don Walston Fort Pierce, Fla. Pretty Woman, Lame Movie Movies Runaway Bride (Paramount Pictures). Director Garry Marshall scored the first time he paired Julia Roberts and Richard Gere, in 1990's Pretty Woman , but he flounders on this outing. Critics complain about the trite story line--Roberts plays a young woman who has a habit of leaving her grooms waiting at the altar--and the lack of chemistry between the stars. Maureen Dowd notes in the New York Times that Runaway Bride marks the "flatlining" of the traditional romantic comedy and the birth of a new genre: the unsympathetic heroine comedy (see also: My Best Friend's Wedding and Four Weddings and a Funeral ). A few critics come to its defense. Janet Maslin (the New York Times ) serves up a remarkably bland, neither-here-nor-there review: "[Mr. Gere's] and Mr. Marshall's reunion with Ms. Roberts guarantees a comedy that's easy on the eyes and dependable in the laugh department." The New Yorker 's David Denby also pronounces the film passable: "Although the movie dawdles and repeats itself, it is often charming." Denby even goes against the conventional wisdom, contending that "the Gere-Roberts connection is still alive." (Click here to check out a site devoted to Roberts and here for one devoted to Gere.) Twin Falls Idaho (Sony Pictures Classics). This David Lynch-ian film about a love triangle involving a pair of conjoined twins and a prostitute provokes a fittingly dual response from reviewers. (Ratcheting up the weirdness is the fact it was written and directed by a pair of non-conjoined identical twins.) Some find it "spellbinding," with "a solemn eroticism [that] sometimes recalls The Elephant Man " (Joe Morgenstern, the Wall Street Journal ). Others say the "slapped-on eeriness peels away to reveal little more than simplistic dramatic ploys" and that it is "neither weighty nor as weird as it would like to think" (Dennis Lim, the Village Voice ). The balance tips slightly in the film's favor: The New York Times ' Maslin writes that the film "has style, gravity and originality to spare ... dwells as hauntingly in loneliness as it does on never actually being able to be alone." (Click here to visit the film's official site.) Magazine Talk . Just about every possible media outlet covers the premiere of Editor Tina Brown's new magazine. Time devotes more than a page, Newsweek just less than one, each featuring a photo of Brown and the cover of the first issue. The early response is surprisingly kind: Conventional wisdom has held that everyone was waiting to knock Brown off her cloud, but there are notably few scathing condemnations or laudatory pieces about the magazine in the news today. Instead, reports focus on the phenomenon of Brown's buzz machine and the celeb-studded party she threw Monday night, which Madonna described as "so much fun, I loved it" in the New York Post . As for the prospects of the magazine, most agree that "if anyone could dust off the genre [of a general interest magazine], it's probably Brown" (Margaret Carlson and Stephen Koepp, Time ). (Click here to check out Talk 's official Web site. Click to read last week's "Summary Judgment" on early Talk hype.) Books A Certain Age , by Tama Janowitz (Doubleday). The brittle, shallow, single, gold-digging, thirtysomething protagonist of Janowitz's latest hate letter to Manhattan is pronounced so unpleasant as to make the entire novel (which follows her search for a suitably rich and connected husband) quite a drag: "A hateful heroine and a catalog of conspicuous consuming do not an amusing read make" (Elizabeth Gleick, Time ). "One of the least likable characters in modern fiction history. More self-obsessed than Portnoy, more marriage crazed than Bridget Jones, this skinny blond twit is truly horrid" (A.J. Jacobs, Entertainment Weekly ). The closest thing the novel gets to a positive review is a one-line mention in a National Review roundup of new books on single women: David Klinghoffer writes that the novel is "darkly funny." (Click here to read an excerpt from the book and here to listen to an interview with the author.) Run Catch Kiss , by Amy Sohn (Simon & Schuster). New York Press sex columnist Amy Sohn turns in a first novel about ... a New York-based sex columnist and her wild shenanigans with men. Critics are more amused than impressed: "One reads ... with equal parts astonished admiration and mounting horror at the calculated brazenness of it all" (Mark Rozzo, Los Angeles Times ). Clarissa Cruz ( Entertainment Weekly ) finds that parts of the dialogue are "laugh out loud funny," but overall it's "a frivolous read that's far more titillating than scintillating." More biting reviews say it's yet another in the recent rash of single-girl-in-the-city novels, just a "wobbly attempt to follow in Bridget Jones's Manolo Blahniks" (Yahlin Chan, Newsweek ). (Click here to read an interview with the author.) Music Get Skintight , by the Donnas (Lookout!). This foursome of female juvenile garage rockers gets solid reviews for its third album. "These bad-ass ladies roll out rude, Ace Frehley-inspired guitar hooks at a feverish rate, capturing the rebellious, mischievous and instantly gratifying rock 'n' roll spirit of teenage trash culture" (Glen Sansone, CMJ ). As all members of the band are under legal drinking age, the lyrics touch on subjects such as driving around on the neighbor's lawn, hanging out by the Slurpee machine, and looking at cute guys. On the downside, the band relies heavily on its predecessors, and some songs sound lifted directly from the Ramones, the Runaways, and Mtley Cre (they also cover the Cre's "Too Fast For Love"). But most critics don't sweat the album's derivative tendencies, pointing out that this kind of music isn't supposed to be blazingly original, it's supposed to be fun. "A timeless burst of renegade teen spirit" (Steve Dougherty, People ). (Click here to find out more about the band on its official site, and here to check out the "I have a crush on The Donnas" Web site.) Snap Judgment Music Out of Business , by EPMD (Def Jam). Critics praise the Long Island duo's latest offering as "their best album since 1990's Business As Usual " (Rob Hart, CMJ ). Erick Sermon and Parrish Smith's music is up to their usual high standards, but even more impressive are their lyrics, which "weave together tapestries of obscure pop-culture references and rap history homages that could keep lesser rhymers in business forever" (Matt Diehl, Entertainment Weekly ). The Politics of Talk What does it take to win an election? First you must establish name identification, viability, and a "vision." Then you must lower the media's expectations, rebut charges of pandering and profligacy, and fend off attacks on your character. What does it take to launch a magazine successfully? As Talk Editor Tina Brown demonstrated this week, the answer is: pretty much the same thing. 1. Name identification. Having served in two high-profile offices over the past 15 years ( Vanity Fair and The New Yorker ), Brown was well positioned for a run at Talk . She scored an early publicity coup by getting Hillary Clinton to appear in the magazine at its debut. But Brown also benefited from a gaffe by her opponent, New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani, who responded to Clinton's appearance by banishing Talk 's launch party from a city-owned site. His attack on Brown made the front pages of the New York tabloids, giving Talk a free media hit. 2. Pandering. Many editors, like politicians, broaden their audience by appealing to the public's lowest instincts--and, like politicians, are accused of pandering. The rap on Brown is that she's "vapid" and "shallow," and her magazine is "fluff" and "froth." A parody Web site calls Talk "Chatter! Banter! Emotion! Solipsism! Pretense!" As often happens in campaigns, Brown suffered an embarrassing defection last month, when writer Walter Kirn quit and told the press he had been saddled with "celebrity profile assignments." Brown's surrogates have replied that a good editor, like a good politician, must toss a bit of red meat to the crowd now and then to sustain her popularity and her movement. But Brown, like Dan Quayle, has lent credence to her caricature. She has told the press that her editorial knack lies in being "easily bored" and that the problem with celebrity hype is that it's "dull." Faced with the charge that she's "lowbrow," Brown has espoused a "high-low" formula under which Talk will endeavor, according to one staffer, "to balance the higher-brow stuff and the trashier stuff." Brown's critics have also circulated her quote that magazines should "be places where people can picnic intellectually." These comments create an impression of flippancy and flip-flopping, which bolsters the argument that Brown lacks conviction. 3. Vision. The best way to deflect charges of pandering and flip-flopping is to articulate an essential message or "vision." Brown constantly boasts that Talk has a "point of view." But when called upon to define it, she speaks of a "look," a "tone," and an "atmosphere." Talk , she told the Wall Street Journal , is "about expressing--without encumbrance of any kind--a vision, in a sense, of the times that we are in." She comes off sounding like President Bush, whose ruminations on "the vision thing" convinced everyone that he recognized the importance of having a vision but didn't quite know what the word meant. Instead, Brown speaks often of her "passion" and "desire" for good writing. Message: I care. 4. Character. Some of Brown's opponents have gone negative, calling her "ruthless" and tyrannical. She seems unsure whether to stay on message--"The dogs bark and the caravan moves on," she told London's Sunday Telegraph --or to make negative campaigning an issue. While her surrogates decry the "long knives" arrayed against her, Brown accuses her rivals of "blood sport." At times, she plays to the center, projecting kindness and tolerance: "I don't understand this fear thing. I'm not vindictive." At other times, she plays to her base, wearing her enemies' scorn as a badge of honor: "I've fired a lot of people and killed a lot [of copy]. I don't make friends that way." Like any smart politician, Brown spins the attacks on her as evidence of her formidability. As New York Post columnist Liz Smith puts it, "What is it about her that scares the rest of the press?" Brown also has a Clintonian streak that threatens to escalate pandering into a character issue. Bill Clinton pitches himself as the man who feels your pain. Brown pitches Talk as the magazine of "intimacy," starting with its cover story, "The Intimate Hillary," in which the first lady divulges her "feelings" about her husband's infidelities. The consensus among political pundits is that whether Brown used Mrs. Clinton, vice versa, or both, the whole thing was "calculated" rather than intimate. Brown's assertions that the piece plumbs the "depth" of the Clintons' "shared passions" and "spiritual intensity" add to the impression that she's more interested in advertising intimacy than in achieving it. 5. Fiscal responsibility. The old rap on Brown was that she spent wastefully and ran up big deficits at The New Yorker . Brown's spin is that she cut the deficit: "When I arrived, it was losing money, and when I left, it was losing less money." But the old rap has been overtaken by a new rap--that Brown is fielding a "B team" of writers because she's no longer paying top rates. Meanwhile, the hard-times ethic of fiscal austerity has given way to a good-times ethic of "invest and grow," which frowns on frugality. Brown's successor at The New Yorker , David Remnick, is criticized for being "weak on the buzz factor," "sheepish" about courting fashion designers, and addicted to "earnest seriousness." A colleague likens Remnick's avoidance of limousine service to President Carter's despised modesty. 6. Expectations. An editor, like a candidate, must limit expectations so that she can impress everyone by exceeding them. Brown has done so. A week ago, the hype about Talk had spent itself. "Expectation is so high that her enemies are already predicting the biggest let-down since Eyes Wide Shut ," crowed the Telegraph . New York's Daily News said critics were predicting a "gigantic fizzle." But by the time the magazine came out, the backlash, too, had spent itself. According to Time , "the correct attitude" prior to Talk 's debut "was to be sick of it already without having seen it. But Brown has created something that shouts READ ME." And being read, ultimately, is the name of the game. The magazine market is less like a general election, in which the candidate with the higher negative rating always loses, than like a crowded primary, in which the fight for attention is crucial, and it's worth alienating some people in order to attract others. The more Brown is attacked, the better she does. When Giuliani vetoed Talk 's party site and told the press it was "unimportant" and "irrelevant," all he did was make the magazine important and relevant. The Journal put the point succinctly to Brown: "Is any publicity good publicity?" She answered: "People are rarely indifferent to the magazines I've put out. Sometimes they hate it, but they are engaged." In other words, yes. Who Were Those Masked Men? Here is a sampling of improbable movie moments from the summer of 1999: A young man takes a sudden notion to hump an apple pie; a gargantuan crocodile inexplicably migrates from its tropical habitat to set up shop in a frigid Maine lake; a trio of doomed documentarians, being stalked in the woods by a furry witch, never stops filming and videotaping themselves even as they are supposedly jumping out of their skins with terror; the search for an Alzheimer's cure leads to the inadvertent creation of oversized mako sharks with brains so enhanced they are able to apply the principles of hydraulic engineering to their deadly advantage, to say nothing of operating commercial kitchen equipment. All these scenes have earned their place in the annals of inanity, but nothing in American Pie , Lake Placid , The Blair Witch Project , or Deep Blue Sea could rival an early scene in Eyes Wide Shut where a silver-haired Hungarian smoothie dancing with Nicole Kidman purrs into her ear, "I'm delighted to meet you, Alice. Did you ever read the Latin poet Ovid on the art of love?" The chances of meeting a sophisticated Upper West Side woman in New York who would fall for a line like that are about as remote as encountering a singing possum in your basement, but Kidman's character continues to flirt with this loser during the longest and most excruciating dance scene in movie history. OK, OK, she is drunk, having just chug-a-lugged a glass of champagne off a waiter's tray, but why is she drunk? There is no motivation behind her furious determination to get soused at this party; in fact, Eyes Wide Shut seems to exist in a motivation-free environment all its own. Even though critics have been chewing on Eyes Wide Shut for weeks, its reality problems are so severe that I have decided to call myself in as a specialist. Let me state at the outset that I am not one to deny a master such as Stanley Kubrick all the logical wiggle room he needs (never once have I complained about the majestic incomprehensibility of 2001: A Space Odyssey ), and I am perfectly aware that there is a case to be made that Eyes Wide Shut is a masterpiece of dreamy and purposeful distortion. But after sitting through it twice, I must report that the stronger case is that it's just a really dumb movie. The longest stretch of Eyes Wide Shut features Dr. Bill Harford (Tom Cruise) on an endless nocturnal prowl, perturbed by his wife's needling confession that she once had a sexual fantasy about a naval officer she saw in a hotel lobby. Walking the lonely streets of not-quite-New York (the movie was filmed in London), Harford is accosted by a gang of yahoos who harass him for being a "faggot." Huh? There's no discernible reason why they should suspect him of, as they put it, "playing for the pink team." Certainly the snugglesome prostitute he encounters on the next block has no such impression when she invites him into her charmingly messy apartment. "Don't worry," she says, "I don't keep track of the time"--a singularly carefree strategy for a volume business. B ut it's what happens to Harford after he leaves the prostitute's apartment that forms the bewildering centerpiece of Eyes Wide Shut . A former medical school classmate-turned-lounge pianist tips him off to an exclusive orgy, one that requires a password and must be attended in tuxedo, hooded cape, and carnival mask. Harford procures these items from the proprietor of a surreal costume shop and then takes a cab to a wooded estate. Upon uttering the password his friend has revealed to him, he is escorted into a mansion where some sort of high priest dressed in red is swinging incense and rapping a staff on the marble floor as lugubrious choral music drones on in the background. The priest is surrounded by a circle of masked women, who, upon his command, doff their cloaks, kneel reverentially for a while longer in their G-strings, and then are sent off one by one. Their sacred mission: to get it on with the male party-goers, all of whom are still wrapped in their own cloaks and whose faces are hidden under studiously grotesque masks. "You don't belong here," one of these altar girls says as she takes Harford's arm. How does she know? Later in the movie it will be revealed that this woman has met Harford before, when he treated her for a drug overdose at the same party where his wife was dancing with the Hungarian wolf. But how does she recognize him here? In his mask and hood he's indistinguishable from everyone else in the room. "You are in great danger," she persists as he escorts her down a hallway. When he asks why she is telling him this, she responds, "It doesn't matter," and when he asks who she is she says, "You don't want to know." Soon this unknown woman is called away on other business, and Harford wanders alone through the many rooms of the mansion, observing an orgy as elaborate and stylized as the mating dance of the Attwater prairie chicken. Begowned men escort slinky naked women down endless hallways, with weary disinterest they observe isolated tableaux of coupling humans and, when their frenzy reaches a crescendo, they engage in joyless ballroom dancing. Danger, indeed, seems to lurk in every corner. Then Harford is found to be an interloper. Unmasked at an impromptu tribunal, he is ordered to take off his clothes. "No," cries his helpful escort, dramatically reappearing on the balcony above them. "Take me! I am ready to redeem him!" She is hauled away, presumably to be killed. Why is she sacrificing her life? All they've asked him to do is remove his clothes at an orgy, which seems not unreasonable. Harford is allowed to leave, though he is given a stern warning: "If you make any further inquiries, there will be the most dire consequences for you and your family." Harford makes further inquiries. He travels around the city, obtaining information by flashing his medical license to waitresses and hotel clerks. "I'm a doctor," he announces, as if people are required to speak to him under penalty of law. The "dire consequences" spoken of earlier amount to the following: a brusquely worded note, a rude stare from a stranger, and the apparent confiscation of Harford's carnival mask, which results in a $25 replacement fee. Who is behind all this mischief? "If I told you their names," says Sydney Pollack, playing a mysterious magnate who befriends Harford, "I don't think you'd sleep so well." OK, so they're really scary guys. They may even have actually killed the woman at the party, who Harford, flashing his doctor badge again, has discovered lying dead from an overdose in a mortuary drawer. But why would they go to such extreme lengths to cover up their romps in the first place? They don't appear to be doing anything particularly illegal, and with their liturgical solemnity they seem far less a threat to the Republic than, say, a Karen Finley performance piece or happy hour at Hooters. Wouldn't it make more sense just to offer Harford a membership to the haunted mansion club? "You've been out of your depth the last 24 hours," Pollack's character says. Harford, resigned and weary, returns home, only to discover the missing mask on the bed next to his sleeping wife. Who put it there? That's the question that Kubrick no doubt intended us to ask each other late into the night, just as we once endlessly pondered the meaning of the black monolith in 2001 . But 2001 was a mystery, and Eyes Wide Shut , for all its atmospheric high-mindedness, is just a muddle. The Last Word The book is done. How long I've waited to write these words. It was a decade ago this summer that I began my biography of Saul Bellow--or rather, signed a contract with a publisher declaring my intent to write it. Last week I turned in 700 pages of manuscript to my beleaguered copy editor, Virginia Avery, a kindly, white-haired woman with a handsome New England face and reserves of patience that run deep. From the beginning, the issue of duration loomed. When my agent asked me how long I thought it would take to write the book--he was negotiating the delivery date--I answered cheerfully, "Ten years." "You can't say that," he informed me. "No one will sign up a book that's going to take that long." "Why not?" I trotted out the legendary biographies known to every practitioner of the trade--biography lore: Leon Edel's 20-year labor on his five-volume Henry James ("How long, Leon, how long?" a reviewer in the Times Literary Supplement had importuned after the appearance of the third volume); Richard Ellmann's 17-year labor on James Joyce. And to say that Nancy Milford's biography of Edna St. Vincent Millay is long-awaited would be--as James himself might have said--putting too fine a point on it. Milford is already well into her third decade on the project, with no end in sight. Sally Fitzgerald has been at work on a biography of Flannery O'Connor since I was in college, and I graduated in 1971. Lewis Dabney signed up to write the biography of Edmund Wilson that I jettisoned in the early '80s, and there's no trace of it. Some of my best friends are biographers, and they've been in no hurry to deliver: Jean Strouse devoted 15 years to J.P. Morgan, and Judith Thurman's Colette is forthcoming this fall after 16 years. Edmund Morris, finishing his Reagan after a dozen years, is considered a model of punctiliousness. A decade's nothing. Still, the general reader may be permitted to wonder: Why is biography such a protracted affair? Novelists seem able to turn out a book every year or two. Historians, as burdened by footnotes and data as biographers, seldom devote more than five years to a book. What's our problem? Is it some congenital defect of biographers? A laziness or dilatory habit of mind? My guess is that our failure of promptitude has to do with the unique relationship we establish with our subjects, dead or living. Unlike the novelist, who invents (supposedly) his characters, or the historian, who grapples with a populous cast, the biographer enters into a curious intimacy with the person being written about, a relationship charged with ambivalence, resentment, love, dependency, and all the myriad other emotions that crowd in whenever we allow ourselves to become intimate with another. That the biographer doesn't actually live with, or in many instances even know, his subject; that the relationship may be involuntary (an unauthorized biography); that it's by its very nature unequal, one person focusing attention on another with no hope of reciprocity, in no way diminishes the intensity of the experience. As any biographer will tell you, the act of writing a biography is all-consuming. The abject acknowledgments pages tell the tale: "To my wife, who endured my obsession with grace ..." "To my children, who grew up hearing about X at the dinner table ..." It's a wonder we don't all end up living alone in boardinghouses. In my case, the equation was infinitely more complicated than I could have fathomed when I embarked on my biography of Bellow in the summer of 1989. It was in many ways an almost inevitable project for me: I am from Chicago, Bellow's turf; my first biography, of Delmore Schwartz, had closely paralleled Humboldt's Gift , Bellow's novel about Schwartz; I was steeped in the Jewish immigrant world he wrote about. My subject, wary by nature, had, after a year of elaborate equivocation, arrived at the point where he would grant me access to his papers--subject to his approval--and consent to be interviewed from time to time. I didn't want him to authorize the book; I wanted my freedom. And for his part, Bellow maintained that he "wasn't finished yet, wasn't ready to be summed up"--a reasonable stand for a robust man in his 74 th year. In the end, the book was, as Bellow took to describing it, "neither authorized nor unauthorized." Over the next decade, I made my biographer's rounds, like the postman deterred neither by sleet nor snow--nor by occasional emanations of reticence or frostiness from my subject--from the routine (often a fascinating routine) of poring over his unpublished manuscripts in the rare book and manuscript division of the University of Chicago Library; lugging my laptop all over America in quest of high-school classmates, cousins, friends, and lovers of my famously peripatetic subject; driving Avis rental cars into the remotest suburbs of Los Angeles and flying into Buffalo, N.Y., in pursuit of letters in private hands. Biography is no vocation for old men; it requires physical stamina. By the time I'd filled up my cupboard with the building materials for my book, I was, to borrow one of Bellow's favorite words, bushed. Then there was the labor of composition, year after year of struggling to assemble these materials into a coherent narrative form without getting bogged down by the facts--the downfall of so many of the bloated biographies that now weigh down the shelves of Barnes & Noble for their three-week window before being shipped back to the publisher. By the end of nine years, I'd "written through" to the end, amassing 1,200 pages of typescript. Even my father, who might as well have been reading the story of his own life, so closely did he identify with Bellow's Chicago origins, complained that the book was too long. The trouble is that you've gone through so much pain to collect the damned junior-high-school transcript or the quote from Bellow's landlord in Paris in 1948 that you feel you have to put it in--just to get credit. Only after you have a completed manuscript does your confidence build to the point where you can go through the top-heavy pile of pages and, encountering the third reference to Bellow's occasional book reviews for the New York Times Book Review , decide: Who cares? and slash it with the red pen. On my second go-round I cut 200 pages, dipping below the laminated Page 1,000 I'd presented in 1996 to Katy Medina, my editor at Random House, as evidence of my progress. (Did she smile, or was that a wince?) On the third pass, recalling Proust's admonition to one of his correspondents that if he'd only had time he would have written a shorter letter, I managed to cut another 200 pages. At last it was clear that I had to give up my decadal work-in-progress. My patient publisher was weary of waiting; my friends were beginning to taunt me with the prospect that I'd never finish; I was ready, as the self-help literature counsels, to "move on." The cover had been designed, the catalog copy written. I was still revising the copy-edited manuscript, tearing the whole thing up, finding, at the last possible moment, my voice. And how to end it? At last I found a way (since, happily and thanks to Bellow's physical vigor, I wouldn't have to write a deathbed scene): a conversation he'd had with Martin Amis for a BBC documentary on Bellow's life. He was ruminating about death, and about possibly meeting up again with his parents and his brothers in the next world. I thought of ending the book with his quote, but then some other stuff happened in his life (you'll have to buy the book--$24.95 at your local bookstore, arriving in April--or at least read the reviews to find out what). And Bellow, too, is putting the finishing touches on a novel titled Ravelstein , about his late friend Allan Bloom, so I had to mention that. After turning in the manuscript Thursday, I spent the weekend revising the last four chapters, and Monday afternoon I wrote the last sentence on the last page: "His reunion with the dead would have to wait." Then I dropped off the last pages at Random House and rushed off to Penn Station to catch the late train to Albany, an hour from my farmhouse in the country. Depleted and drained, I stared out at the Hudson River in the summer dusk, drank two miniature bottles of Zinfandel, and fell asleep. My reunion with the living would have to wait. Locus Politicus A campaign junkie rates the sites. By Matthew Cooper (1,163 words; posted Tuesday, July 23; to be composted Tuesday, July 30) I've seen the future, and it's hurting my back. I'm in the basement on a July night, my body contorted, my laptop balanced on my knee. I'm watching MSNBC and using my computer. This is how they hyped this new network and yet, I wonder: Surely, Bill Gates did not want me going to a chiropractor. My eyes flicker between screens close and far, making me wonder whether I'll need bifocals. More annoying, my mind whips between the laid-back, have-a-beer feeling of watching TV and (at least for this novice anyway) the intensity of operating a computer. "It's time to get connected," they say in the ads for MSNBC. Yet the only interactivity open to me is to write a question to the president, who is being interviewed by Tom Brokaw. I can't do this, though, because I didn't submit an "Ask the President" question at an appropriate time. (Besides, some 8,000 questions came Clinton's way, so I wasn't really going to get in on the action.) There are glitches. Every time my browser goes to the page, it hits some sound file that belts out Brokaw's booming baritone: "This is Tom Brokaw. ..." I can't make it stop. The Web is supposed to be manna for me, a news hound who devours newspapers, who watches C-SPAN on vacation, and who occasionally tries to fall asleep by counting senators instead of sheep. (Straining to remember Idaho's backbenchers, Larry Craig and Dirk Kempthorne, usually does the trick.) But the Web is not succor. It is often technically frustrating, as was evinced by my wrestling with Brokaw and Clinton. Yet, there are things I've come to love about the Web in the couple of months since I got on it. For me, the best thing about political Web sites--and by that I mean stuff put up by everybody from major media outlets to candidates--is that they can get me where I would have gone anyway, only much more quickly. As a journalist often on the road, I can now get the Washington Post or the Washington Times , two indispensable papers for news junkies. Both sites, like the New York Times and the Wall Street Journal, are well-designed and ready the night before the paper appears, the better to find out what my competitors have that I don't. When Henry Cisneros, the secretary of Housing and Urban Development, came to my magazine the other day for an editorial lunch, I was able to prep up quickly at his Web site. Unfortunately, much of what is on the Web is diatribe or propaganda, foaming with hate or boosterism, irrelevant either way. "There's this explosion of information, and much of it is crap," says Michael Riley, executive producer of AllPolitics, the site maintained by CNN and Time . This makes sites like Riley's especially valuable because they become, basically, reliable brand names in a sea of muck. Along with its counterpart, PoliticsNowa joint venture of several news organizations, including the National Journal, the Washington Post , and the Los Angeles Times --AllPolitics remains a place where you can get lots of political news and know that it's quality journalism, as opposed to some guy blowing steam. Like Time andNewsweek each site revels in the narcissism of small differences. PoliticsNow fancies itself more insiderish; and, indeed, some of its features, like a regular column called The Buzz are meant for true aficionados. Over at AllPolitics, they pride themselves on being more beyond-the-Beltway. In fact, the chat rooms, filled with regular folk, are the most popular parts of AllPolitics. "They do more business than any bulletin boards onPathfinder says Riley, "including the sex boards, which gives me pause." Both sites are good bets. Ican't say the same for sites maintained by candidates. When the Clinton-Gore campaign opened their Web site earlier this summer, they treated it like a major event, even bringing the vice president over to headquarters to tout the site. "The mouse proves the elephant wrong," Gore said, sounding like Confucius. The veep meant, of course, that computers will allow Team Clinton to respond quickly to Republican attacks. Bob Dole's siteis equally turbo-charged. And while most candidate Web sites are rich in position papers and press releases and sound clips and applets, they're the cyberequivalent of a table set up at a campaign rally where you can pick up brochures. They are too biased to help you think clearly about which candidate is better. Perhaps this will change. For the moment, though, campaigns reach most voters through TV, not the Web. The Net remains more a gimmick, a way to signal to voters that Sen. Blahblah is a man of the future. By contrast, I get a visceral thrill surfing over to various political organizations. A home page may be a group's face to the world, but opening it still feels like getting to eavesdrop on a conversation. Visit the NRA site and read all about Second Amendment rights, described in the hysterical, "the-liberals-are-coming!" tone that you would expect from, and which is echoed throughout, libertarian-minded sites on the Web. There's also an odd universal cheeriness to political Web sites, many of which I was guided to by MSNBC's terrific Internet correspondentMary Kathleen Flynn "Be sure to visit theSinn Fein Web site says a line in the Captive Voice magazine written by IRA "political prisoners." It's hard to imagine Martin Luther King writing the "Letter from the Birmingham Jail With Hotlinks." There is a strange moral equivalence to the sites, too. Each one pops up and makes its claim, regardless of any relation to the truth. One can call up the Serb Action Web site and find out how to order books like The Eradication of Serbs, 1992-1993 . This may come as news to the Muslim citizens of Sarajevo and Srebrenica. (Less slick is the home page of the Bosnia-Herzegovina embassyin Washington, D.C.) There is an incongruous pride in technical prowess. Go to an Islamic site and it has that funky icon boasting of being in "the top 5 percent of all Web sites." How shall I visit Mecca, I wonder? With Netscape or Internet Explorer? The one thing that political sites can't replicate is the smell of politics, the feeling of being at a campaign. Earlier this year, I was at a Bob Dole rally in Omaha. I loved everything about it: talking to the folks who schlepped there on a Sunday morning; the comic effect of having a guy dressed like McGruff, the Crime Dog from public service ads, standing behind Dole. I loved leafleting when I was in college, handing out flyers to passers-by. Not everyone, of course, can get to a rally. But there are political meetings and activities in every neighborhood. There's plenty of reason to be out on a July night, instead of sitting in the basement. Don't Ask, Don't Tell, Don't Continue New Republic , Sept. 6 The cover story says George W. Bush's less-than-overwhelming straw poll victory makes the primaries competitive. Elizabeth Dole's third-place finish demonstrates she can compete with John McCain as the moderate alternative to Bush. (For Slate 's Ames debriefing, click here .) ... A book review calls the military's "don't ask, don't tell" policy an abysmal failure. In practice, commanding officers do ask and vigorously root out homosexuals. Many soldiers have been put under oath and forced to describe their sexual propensities; more than 5,000 have been discharged. ... "TRB " extrapolates Warren Beatty's presidential platform from his political manifesto, Bulworth . That "108-minute-long affront to black dignity" portends a demagogic campaign that blames corporate interests for America's real and imagined ills. ( Slate 's "" bets against a Beatty candidacy.) Economist , Aug. 21 A piece predicts that brick-and-mortar companies will beat pure Web retailers in the battle for e-customers. Although Internet companies have lower start-up costs, meat-space firms have loyal customers, established distribution systems, and the ability to cross-market through their retail outlets. ... The cover editorial warns that the East Asian economic recovery is precarious. Real recovery depends on regional political stability, the continued strength of the export-absorbing American economy, and Japan's ability to bounce back from its slump. ... An article cautions against underestimating the possibility of a Chinese military assault on Taiwan. Even though China is reluctant to anger the West, Taiwan's rejection of a "one China" policy makes any diplomatic settlement difficult. New York Times Magazine , Aug. 23 and Fall Fashion Supplement The cover package worries about boys. One story says that boys, bombarded with images of unattainable male bodies, have more body image problems than ever. (G.I. Joe has got buffer, so have Calvin Klein models.) The "culture of cruelty" in junior high can make adolescents "pathologically preoccupied" with body image. More adult men are getting liposuction. ... The other cover story describes the survival strategies of high-school outcasts, who seek solace in computer games, camaraderie, and the occasional joint.. ... A profile of B. Smith touts her as the anti-Martha Stewart. The former model has parlayed her restaurant successes into a lifestyle TV show and a forthcoming magazine. She has a much more relaxed style than Mistress Martha. Smith is an icon of the new black upper-middle class, though three-quarters of her audience is white. ... The surprisingly delightful Fall Fashion Supplement is full of blithe self-parody and reader games. There is a fashion-centric crossword puzzle, a color-by-numbers dress, a Mad Libs column, and a cutout Gwyneth Paltrow doll, among other amusements. Atlantic Monthly , September 1999 The cover story argues that stocks are massively undervalued. Bullish investors are not irrationally exuberant; they recognize that stock prices have been depressed by an excessive aversion to risk. According to the authors' valuation theory, the Dow should be heading toward 36,000. (Author James Glassman expounded this theory last year in . disputed it.) ... A piece lavishes praise on Waldorf schools. Established by an Austrian in 1919, the schools place imagination at the center of the learning process and emphasize art projects, oral presentations, poetry recitations, and discussion. Graduates are capable and inquisitive. There are more than 100 Waldorf schools in the United States and 700 worldwide. Newsweek , Aug. 23 A special issue on guns includes a rare editorial declaring war on "one common link in the chain of violence: firearms." All assault weapons should be banned, all gun owners licensed, and all guns registered. ( Newsweek 's crusade follows a Time essay earlier this month calling for a handgun ban.) ... A Newsweek poll finds that 74 percent of Americans support registering all handgun owners; 93 percent favor a mandatory waiting period for gun purchases. ... A piece explores the backroom battle between the gun industry and the gun lobby. The industry wants to make concessions, but the NRA threatens the gun-makers with boycotts if they give an inch. Time , Aug. 23, 1999 The cover story reports on new discoveries about human evolution. We started walking on two legs between 6 million and 4 million years ago, tool-making began 2.5 million years ago, and our brains grew dramatically between 2 million and 1 million years ago. Abstract thought began only tens of thousands of years ago. Our technological improvements have dramatically slowed natural selection. ... A piece surveys new school safety precautions, including mass-shooting drills, locker searches, and security cameras. The New Yorker , Aug. 23 and 30 The "Adventure" issue meditates on human limitations, trust, and courage. A correspondent camps out in Central Park, braving gangs, ducking cops, and talking to raccoons. ... An author recounts how he abandoned a plan to sail solo to Alaska in order to nurse his dying father. His father's gracious acceptance of death is a braver act than any macho journey could be. ... A profile of Lynne Cox describes how the solo swimmer conquered fear by braving icy, shark-infested waters. She traversed seemingly unconquerable bodies of water, including the Bering Strait, to demonstrate the potential for harmony between hostile neighbors. Weekly Standard , Aug. 23 The cover story calls for censorship of movies, television, and music. The mass media's "moral pollution" is "actual and malignant." Our forefathers didn't have sex and violence in mind when they crafted First Amendment freedoms. The choice is censorship or barbarism. ... A series of commentaries rejects the censorship proposal, arguing that Americans do not want to be regulated by institutional elites. Government should discourage images of sex and violence in the media by holding congressional hearings that demonize Hollywood. ... An article argues that the United States should provide Taiwan with new weapons and military advice in order to deter Chinese expansionism. Talking About a Revolution Kelvin Lancaster died last month. He was an economist's economist, famous within the profession (when an economist uses the adjective "Lancastrian," he isn't talking about the Wars of the Roses), but largely unknown beyond it. I can't claim to have known him personally: I was 3 years old when his famous paper on the theory of the "second best" was published (click to read more about it), and we probably met only four or five times. But nonetheless there was a time, a couple of decades ago, when we were comrades-in-arms--when he and I, along with several dozen other people, helped make a revolution in economic theory. That revolution went unnoticed among the wider public, even among those who follow (or think that they follow) economic thinking. David Warsh of the Boston Globe wrote an excellent series of articles about some of the revolutionaries, and he's in the process of finishing a book-length treatment. But other journalists ignored the story, or if they did write anything got it wrong, preferring camera-ready fantasies in which heroic outsiders challenged an obtuse Establishment. I've tried elsewhere to correct some of the myths (click to read my article on the power of biobabble and to read about the legend of Brian Arthur), but maybe Lancaster's death is a good occasion for me to wax nostalgic, to recall what actually did happen. To understand the revolution, you need to grasp two related dichotomies. One is that between constant and increasing returns; the other between perfect and imperfect competition. Constant returns is the assumption that if you increase your inputs, your output will grow by the same amount--e.g., if you double your inputs you will also double your output. Increasing returns, on the other hand, says that doubling inputs will more than double output. Perfect competition is the assumption that producers are like wheat farmers, who take the price of wheat as a given--and not like, say, Apple, which must decide what to charge for an iMac and can choose within limits to raise that price if it is willing to accept a reduction in sales. Perfect competition and constant returns go together like cookies and milk; without constant returns, the assumption of perfect competition becomes very hard to swallow. The reason, basically, is that when there are increasing returns an industry will tend to become dominated by at most a few large players, and these players are bound to realize that they have some price-setting power. They are also likely to realize both that it is in their common interest to agree, at least tacitly, to set prices high, and that it is in their individual interest to cheat on that agreement and undercut their rivals. Is the eventual result a stable cartel, a perpetual price war, or an irregular alternation between the two? Hard to say. But what has long been clear to economists is that increasing returns normally lead to imperfect competition, and that imperfect competition can be a messy and intractable subject. That recognition, in turn, led the profession to spend about a century and a half--from David Ricardo until the 1970s--concentrating its theoretical energy on models that assumed constant returns and perfect competition, and economists tended to avoid questions where increasing returns or imperfect competition were self-evidently crucial. In so doing they were neither foolish nor dogmatic: Most economists, I think, understood that increasing returns are sometimes important, and a few people did try to take them into account. (In my specialty, international trade theory, increasing-returns analysis is usually dated from a 1925 paper by the Princeton economist Frank Graham; the first fully worked-out mathematical model was published by R.C.O. Matthews in 1950.) But useful theorizing in complex subjects such as economics is always a matter of choosing the right strategic simplification, and for a long time it seemed that the clarity of constant-returns/perfect-competition analysis justified its violence to reality. Even now, one can say--and I did, back in 1995--that 95 percent of the time, it would be a blessing if politicians could understand what's right about the constant returns model, not what's wrong with it. By the 1970s, however, patience with constant-returns economics was wearing thin. Exactly why is hard to say. I don't think you can claim that returns were less constant or competition less perfect in the real world of 1975 than they had been in 1955, or even 1925. More likely, the driving force was the field's internal intellectual logic: Economists had answered most of the interesting questions they could ask in the old framework and found that constant-returns economics was running into, well, diminishing returns. And so they were finally ready to try something different. Kelvin Lancaster was one of those who was driven to increasing returns. In the 1960s he had introduced a seemingly obvious but highly useful twist to the analysis of consumer behavior by pointing out that what consumers often want is not so much a specific product as a particular bundle of characteristics. To take a modern example, what business travelers care about in their notebook computers are low weight, long battery life, and high computing power, rather than the logo on the case. There are trade-offs among these good things; what differentiates one notebook from another is where in this "characteristics space" they are located. But in that case, why doesn't the market produce every possible notebook? (Much as I love my Hewlett-Packard Jornada handheld, I'd prefer a machine with a slightly better word processor, for which I would happily sacrifice something else.) The answer, of course, is increasing returns: To proliferate varieties (and hence to produce each variety at a smaller scale) means to increase costs. Now at this point Lancaster found himself up against the usual problem: Increasing returns mean imperfect competition, and in general imperfect competition is nasty stuff. But somehow, circa 1974, economists went through a shift in mindset. My colleague Robert Solow likes to say that there are two kinds of economists: those who look for general results and those who look for illuminating examples. And more or less suddenly fell into the second group; they decided that while a general theory of how imperfect competition must work was never going to happen, it was OK to focus on interesting examples of how it might work. How does the market for an industry with Lancaster-type differentiated products function? It could be dominated by a single firm that proliferates products to deter potential competitors--OK, Dick Schmalensee wrote up that story. Or it could be "monopolistically competitive," each variety produced by a different firm--OK, Steve Salop wrote that up in one version, Mike Spence in another, Avinash Dixit and Joe Stiglitz in yet another. The point was to find stories that hung together, not determine once and for all which was right. It's hard to convey, if you weren't there, just how liberating this was. Once they decided it was OK to tell illustrative stories rather than produce theorems, economists could write about exciting topics that had been off limits: predatory pricing, strategic investment to get the jump on competition, technological races, struggles to define industry standards. By 1988, when Jean Tirole published his landmark textbook The Theory of Industrial Organization , just about every idea about the "new economy" that trendy writers proclaim as a radical departure from conventional economic thought was, well, already in the textbook. Among other things, someone was bound to notice that the interaction between increasing returns and product differentiation could help explain some puzzles about international trade--like why most trade is between seemingly similar countries. In the late '70s three people independently wrote up that insight: the Norwegian economist Victor Norman, Lancaster himself, and yours truly; and the "new trade theory" was born. A few years later economists such as Paul Romer and Philippe Aghion applied related ideas to technological change and economic growth, giving birth to the "new growth theory"; and the ripples spread ever outward. Alas, golden ages do end. By the early 1990s, the thrill of increasing-returns economics was fading. It wasn't just the inexorable working of the law of diminishing disciples. There was a deeper problem: The new ideas were immensely liberating, but at some point you can get too liberated. In international trade, people started to joke that a smart graduate student could come up with a model to justify any policy; similar sentiments were felt in many fields. In short, we all got tired of clever analyses of what might happen; and throughout economics there was a shift in focus away from theorizing, toward data collection and careful statistical analysis. But it was a golden age--a time of innovation and intellectual excitement, when all of economics seemed up for reinvention--and Kelvin Lancaster was one of those who made it so. Let us honor his memory. Two Frogs For Sayeed Jama By Abdi Ali (posted Tuesday, July 23; to be composted Tuesday, July 30) The first floor apartment was home; Mr. Sargunam, uncle. Mrs. Sargunam taught English at the 11 th standard, some teaching At college, and private lessons to foreigners--you, I and others. Mona, Huda and you stayed with her; I may have for a week or two Before the Aruldhases were found, and for about a year Mum sent Money and six umbrellas (at one time!) through her. Seriously, Vocation began here--the story of two frogs, One from Osaka, the other Kyoto, eyes on the back Of their heads. "From two cities, two frogs ...," proper, Lady Mrs. Sargunam, alternately coughing-- Mannered, easing her lemon-wedged specs to her nose, "Set to visit the other's city." Their visit is short On a fictional hill between the two cities. Befuddled, The cities are alike, they turn, return home. I learned the story by heart, also by heart Mrs. Sargunam, Scholar-wife, no homemaker, sitting for dinner caf-style. You left, enrolled in a Catholic school in the hills. Aruldhas' daughter, Beulah, pushed me, rewriting words forty-fifty times, literally mugging As we used to say. We met one last time, Strand Hotel, Bombay; Quizzing each other--Mona was untouchable in Indian civics, My knowledge of anatomy defended the reputation of Adventist schools, And you owned with skill images, permanent stay of faith, Placed over blackboards in classrooms. "The Living-God," you said, Making plain a mystery, "is three-flavor ice-cream: strawberry, chocolate and vanilla." (Plain-mystery by which your son is now named After the vegetarian dream-consultant to Nebuchadnezzar.) Frog-fate, or no frog-fate, swear I see at times one In these cities Kampala, Mogadishu, Jeddah, Nairobi, Boston. I think in your den in Oslo, surrounded by sheiks requested by your mother, You see the only one city, Lamb-lamp lit. Republican Shakeout This weekend's straw poll in Ames, Iowa, kicked off the 2000 presidential race and sorted out the Republican field. Everyone agrees that George W. Bush is the front-runner, that Steve Forbes is in second place, and that Dan Quayle, who finished back in the pack with Lamar Alexander, will soon join Alexander on the sidelines. But Ames failed to resolve the fate of the candidates who came in third and fourth--Elizabeth Dole and Gary Bauer--and the one who skipped Ames, John McCain. For these three, the post-game spin contest is crucial. Here's a playback of their takes on the straw poll results and a look ahead at their playbook of messages for the remainder of the race. Elizabeth Dole Playback 1. Top three. Dole needed to get within striking distance of Bush and to seal off the rest of the pack behind her. On Meet the Press , Face the Nation , and Late Edition , she boasted that she had cracked "the top three." Pundits bought the three-winners line, treating Ames as a horse race ("win, place, and show") and noting that "no one's ever won the Republican nomination without finishing in the top three" at Ames. Newspapers, cramped for space, confined their headlines to Bush, Forbes, and Dole. Though Dole's 14 percent was closer to Bauer's 9 than to Forbes' 21, she earned a "solid third" and a place among the leaders by crossing the "double-digit" threshold. As Fox News' Carl Cameron put it: "The other seven candidates could not crack double digits." 2. Race for third. Since Bush and Forbes were expected to finish first and second, many pundits concluded, as Lisa Myers put it on Meet the Press , that "the real race here was for third. Elizabeth Dole won that." The Boston Globe called Dole "the winner of this contest-within-the-contest." Dole touted her "victory" on every talk show and cited the Myers and Globe quotes in a press release. At a news conference, an aide introduced Dole as the straw poll's "real winner." 3. Underdog. In every TV interview, Dole claimed to have been "outspent by millions of dollars." Her spokesman told reporters that "on a dollar-per-vote basis, Elizabeth Dole trounced George Bush and Steve Forbes." Reporters love an underdog. "From a strict cost-benefit standpoint, the big winner may be Elizabeth Dole," concluded Time . 4. Comeback kid. Dismissive coverage of Dole before the straw poll played to her advantage, as everyone marveled at her "surprisingly" strong third. "Dole Revived," the Washington Post 's front page proclaimed. On This Week , George Will conceded, "There had been a lot of very skeptical stories about whether her people would show up. She, therefore, I think, is the biggest winner." Playbook 1. Race for second. Forbes wants to fast-forward the GOP tournament to a finals bracket: Bush vs. Forbes. To prevent this, Dole needs to create a semifinal playoff--Forbes vs. Dole--to determine who gets to play Bush. Despite Forbes' huge financial advantage, "we finished close to second," Dole told reporters Saturday night. "This is going to become a two-person race." The press agreed. "Forbes had growing hopes ... that he might upset Bush or finish a close second," recalled the Post . Instead, "he finished closer to Dole than to Bush." 2. Experience. Having narrowed the field to three, Dole needs to focus the contest on criteria that favor her. The first of these is political experience, of which Bush has little and Forbes has almost none. On every talk show, Dole vowed "to demonstrate that the candidate with the most experience is more qualified than the candidates with the most money. ... We're talking about president of the United States." 3. Gender. This is the more obvious criterion that distinguishes Dole. She hardly needs to mention it--the media bring it up anyway--but she invokes it subtly, alluding (as she did on two Sunday talk shows) to "women who drive their daughters halfway across the state to shake my hand, a woman they dare to believe in." Newspapers hail Dole's female followers as evidence "that she can attract new voters to the GOP." Gary Bauer Playback 1. Top four. Like Dole, Bauer needed to crack the top tier and seal off the pack. Since sports analogies tend to cut off the top tier at three rather than four (e.g., "bronze medal," "win, place, and show"), Bauer changed metaphors, telling reporters that he had reached "the first rung of candidates" and that lower finishers might soon perish. On Meet the Press , he called himself the "breakout candidate." While some pundits lumped Bauer with the winners, others offered him the next best position--"leading the rest of the pack"--or at least distinguished him from the "losers." 2. Social conservative quarterfinal. This was Bauer's big spin win. Like Dole, he won a crucial "contest-within-the-contest." His scant margin over Pat Buchanan--8.9 percent to 7.3 percent--became a huge factor in the post-poll analysis. Pundits concluded that Bauer "did what he had to do ... beat Pat Buchanan," and therefore "can legitimately say he is the candidate of the Christian right," establishing himself as "one of the winners," the "three or four" candidates who "got their tickets punched" to stay in the race. Talk show hosts reminded Buchanan that he had lost to Bauer and asked whether Buchanan was finished. 3. Conservative semifinal. Having scored well ahead of Bauer and Buchanan, Forbes anointed himself "the conservative in a two-man race" against Bush. Bauer disagreed, and the media took his side. "Forbes, Bauer Battle for Right," the Post proclaimed, concluding that because Forbes failed to break away, "he and Bauer are likely to continue a long and tough fight for the leadership of the conservative wing." 4. Underdog. Bauer couldn't claim to be more strapped than Dole, so he claimed underdog status on the basis of low name recognition, inexperience, and working-class heritage. "I am running against some big bios ... the son of a former president, the son of a tycoon, and the wife of a senator," Bauer argued on Late Edition . "I have never run for president or office before. And yet here we come in fourth place." Newsweek 's David Brooks wrote that Bauer "overcame his own financial disadvantages" and joined Dole as the two surviving "Have-Not candidates." Playbook 1. Buchanan will defect. Since Buchanan's combativeness and loyal base make him hard to write off as a candidate, his rivals have persuaded the media at least to write him off as a Republican by inferring that his low score at Ames will prompt him to transfer to the Reform Party. The more Buchanan fends off comparisons to Bauer by emphasizing his protectionism, the more he plays into this scenario. 2. Populism. With Buchanan out of the way, Bauer will go after Forbes. When asked on television about Forbes' claim to represent the right. Bauer cited Forbes' wealth and called himself "the son of a maintenance man." On This Week , George Stephanopoulos agreed that Bauer "is becoming the populist in the race," noting that Bauer's supporters "love the fact that he was the son of a janitor." 3. Conservatism. If Bauer wins the social conservative quarterfinal and the conservative semifinal, he gets to run as the "Reagan" candidate against "Bush-Gore" moderation on abortion, Hollywood, China, and other hot-button issues. This bracket-by-bracket tournament strategy reduces Bauer's obstacles from three candidates to two. He can target Forbes, knowing that if he prevails, either Bush or Dole will have vanquished the other in the moderate semifinal. Indeed, Dole's success at Ames arguably helps Bauer by giving Bush a semifinal contest. John McCain Playback 1. Ames meant nothing to him. Despite having skipped the straw poll, McCain was invited onto Face the Nation and Fox News Sunday to discuss it. "If you're going to be taken seriously," Brit Hume asked him, "don't you have to face up to the fact, when all the other candidates decide that an event is worth attending ... that maybe you've got to play too?" In reply, McCain repeatedly called Ames "meaningless." His chutzpah bowled over the pundits. Stephanopoulos called McCain's no-show "a pretty smart move" and portrayed the 83 votes he won in the straw poll--putting him in last place among active Republican candidates--as evidence of his strength. 2. Ames meant death for others. Noting that McCain had bypassed the event, Quayle explained on Face the Nation that he, too, "almost took a pass on this. It wasn't until George Bush said he was going to participate that then I said, 'OK, we've got to do it,' out of respect to the Iowa Republican Party." The result, Quayle pleaded, was that he lost to candidates who had been in Iowa "years and months." McCain, explaining his decision to stay out, espoused a less sentimental philosophy: "You always want to fight on ground that is most favorable to you." For this, the media executed Quayle and spared McCain. "Quayle and Lamar Alexander might be gone, but I think McCain is still in," concluded NPR's Mara Liasson. Ames was Vietnam in reverse: McCain ducked the fight, and Quayle took the beating. 3. Viability. "Once the dust has settled from the straw poll," McCain regally announced, "I will review the new political landscape" and begin "engaging the other Republican candidates." Why does McCain get a bye? Because he has convinced the media that he has enough money and support in New Hampshire, South Carolina, and other states to skip Iowa and catch fire later. Newsweek , the New York Times , the Los Angeles Times , and several TV pundits agreed that McCain remains formidable, wasn't hurt by Ames, and may well end up as the principal alternative to Bush. 4. Vote-buying. To undermine the straw poll's authority as an arbiter of his candidacy, McCain called it a "fund-raiser," "a sham and a joke" in which campaigns spent "millions" to "buy" votes. "My campaign theme is to try to reform the system that is now awash with money and the influence of special interests," he argued on Fox News Sunday . Brit Hume's retort--"that this whole process isn't quite pure enough for you"--played right into McCain's hands. McCain doesn't need to persuade the media that his reasons for skipping Ames were morally sound. He just needs to persuade them that his reasons were moral rather than political. Playbook 1. Real votes. The vote-buying complaint only gets McCain a bye on the straw poll. To get another bye on February's Iowa caucuses, he'll rely on two other moral arguments. First, he'll claim that caucuses aren't "real votes." "We'll have real votes in New Hampshire," McCain argued on Fox News Sunday . "That's where real people are motivated to vote." On Face the Nation , he suggested that he would focus on "the genuine balloting process, which takes place in New Hampshire and then South Carolina." 2. Ethanol. Many pundits, fancying themselves shrewd, suggest that McCain's true reason for skipping Iowa is that he has "taken a position on ethanol subsidies that's unpalatable to voters in Iowa." On This Week , Stephanopoulos suggested that McCain might "have to do something dramatic," such as "make a stand and say, 'We're not going to compete in Iowa. We think these ethanol subsidies are an abomination.' " This is McCain's greatest triumph: He has conned the media into disbelieving his political calculations and accusing him instead of principle. "I've taken a lot of unpopular positions," he conceded on Fox News Sunday . 3. Experience. The longer McCain stays out of the race without damaging his credibility, the more the field narrows to his advantage. Alexander and Rep. John Kasich, R-Ohio, are already gone. Quayle and Sen. Orrin Hatch, R-Utah, won't be far behind. If the field dwindles to Bush, Forbes, and Bauer, McCain can sell himself as the only experienced officeholder running against Bush. But Dole's third-place finish at Ames, coupled with her victory in the post-Ames spin contest, complicates this plan. So here's how the race shapes up. Bauer will frame it as a populist showdown, chiefly between himself and Forbes. Forbes will frame it as a fight between the establishment, led by Bush, and conservatives, led by himself. Dole will exploit feminism as well as feminine stereotypes, pitching herself as the candidate of change, civility, and moral renewal. And McCain will fortify his war chest while his rivals battle and bleed. Ames has organized the contestants. Let the games begin. Turkey Shakes and Breaks Newspapers everywhere led on Tuesday's ruinous Turkish earthquake, where the latest tallies show more than 6,300 dead and at least 20,000 injured. Most reports noted that although strict building codes have been in effect in Istanbul since the 1940s, the regulations are often ignored. The Times of London said that "shoddy construction work, cheap building materials and a reckless disregard for safety," almost certainly caused so many buildings to crumble. The Times noted that "Turkey has long been ... a land of ruins," but recommended that just as the Turkish government uses the latest techniques to protect monuments such as the Hagia Sophia in Istanbul from seismic turbulence, so should it "apply the same rigorous standards to its more mundane buildings for it is upon them and their inhabitants that its future depends." Many papers quoted the headline from Turkey's best-selling newspaper Hurriyet : "Murderers!" El Mundo of Spain said: "Adjacent to buildings that are completely destroyed there are others that are totally undamaged. How can this be? Yesterday, the Turkish authorities criticized the poor quality of many of the buildings that have gone up in the last few years in the area affected by the earthquake, a region that has experienced heavy industrial development. This undoubtedly amounts to criminal irresponsibility. Even more so, considering that they knew they were building on an active fault line that has caused dozens of devastating earthquakes in recent decades. But the builders couldn't have put up such fragile buildings if the authorities had not permitted it." An editorial in the liberal French daily Libration Thursday agreed, pointing out that the "the outcome in seismic catastrophes has less to do with poverty than with negligence." Singapore's citizens won't be voting for a new president Aug. 28, because the official screening committee approved only one of the three applicants for the position. S.R. Nathan, 75, was the only candidate to meet their eligibility requirements of senior government or business experience and personal integrity. According to the Straits Times of Singapore, Ong Teng Cheong, the incumbent and the country's first elected president (prior to 1993 the president was chosen by parliament), wanted to seek re-election, but the Cabinet declined to support him for a second term because it felt "there was a strong likelihood that the President's health would affect the discharge of his official duties in the next few years." The International Herald Tribune maintains that the selection was a deliberate effort to ensure that Singapore's head of state would come from one of its non-Chinese minorities. Nathan is of Indian descent, while the other two applicants, like Ong, are from the country's Chinese majority, which accounts for 77 percent of the population. The IHT said, "With Singapore's giant neighbor to the south, Indonesia, riven by ethnic conflict, and its northern neighbor, Malaysia, about to hold elections in which the political supremacy of the Malay majority will again be an underlying issue, the Singapore government wants to re-emphasize its commitment to racial equality as the bedrock of political stability and economic growth." One of Indonesia's ethnic hot spots was the subject of an editorial in the Straits Times Wednesday. The paper said that the north Sumatran province of Aceh "long a festering sore on the Indonesian body politic, is now an open wound." More than 250 people have been killed and around 140,000 displaced from their homes since May, when the Indonesian military stepped up its campaign against the Free Aceh Movement. According to the ST , "Acehnese separatism is fuelled by popular anger against Jakarta for taking more than it returns to the resource-rich province, and by Acehnese insistence that they are an Islamic enclave distinct from the Javanese who dominate the central government." Separatists intensified their campaign in January when the Indonesian president announced that there would be a referendum on autonomy or independence in East Timor, but the Straits Times observed, "Amputation is out because Aceh is unquestionably a part of Indonesia, unlike the former Portuguese colony East Timor it invaded and then annexed in 1976." The editorial concluded that the "carnage will stop only when reconciliation begins," but as a story in Thursday's Sydney Morning Herald noted, the fighting is currently intensifying, with the head of the Indonesian armed forces threatening to order a state of emergency in the province. The South China Morning Post of Hong Kong fretted about the situation in Kosovo, where the Serbian population has shrunk from 200,000 to 50,000 as a result of post-conflict Albanian persecution. An editorial said, "Nato thought it was fighting for a multi-ethnic province. Instead, it seems about to inherit a long-term 100 per cent Albanian protectorate, ethnically cleansed by the victims of ethnic cleansing, who can be as cruel as their former tormentors when given a chance." The SCMP concluded, "Kosovars are better off than under Serb control, but there is no peaceful solution in sight." The Guardian of London reported Wednesday that heavy metal rockers Led Zeppelin are the most bootlegged musical artists in Britain. The British Phonographic Industry's anti-piracy unit has 384 titles by the group in its collection, compared with 320 by the Beatles, 317 by the Rolling Stones, and 301 by Bob Dylan (the subject of "Browser" column on "the bootleg fallacy"). Tenth on the BPI's list, with 170, is Jimi Hendrix--who hasn't done many live concerts since 1970. No. 293: "Sporting Life" This weekend, 6,500 Canadians will jam Montreal's Olympic Stadium to share in a timeless spectacle involving bravery, farm animals, and Velcro. What is it? Send your answer by 5 p.m. ET Sunday to newsquiz@slate.com . Wednesday's Question (No. 292)--Military-Industrial Cineplex: Porcine screenwriter John Milius praises it as "another link between Hollywood and the military that seems to have broken down over the years." What is it? "The dismal failure of Planet USO."-- Beth Sherman "Both 'institutions' are now 'forced' to 'admit' 'women.' "-- Seth Mnookin "Manly homosexual love. If you don't believe me, watch any John Milius-written screenplay, like Conan the Barbarian ."-- Dan Ricci "Putting some teeth into the drug war, Colombia's right-wing paramilitary death squads will now be aided by apple-cheeked American teen-agers. Wolverines! Wooo!"-- Daniel Radosh "Bob Hope."-- Brian Jacobsmeyer ( Colleen Werthmann had a similar answer.) Click for more answers. Chris' Wrap-Up There are three types of people in Southern California: entertainment people, aerospace people, and everyone else. Oddly, if you're an entertainment person, you never meet anyone from the aerospace industry. That's always struck me as strange. They make death at places like China Lake and Point Magu, we sell death at places like Sony. They're conscienceless white guys with money, and so are we. Why don't we hang out? I don't know, but I'll bet Joan Didion does. Hey, remember that debate with Walter Mondale where Ronald Reagan said that the military needed money for "wardrobe"? Oh, how I laughed. Of course, at the time I was living in Canada. Infotaining Answer Producing training material. This week, the Army announced the creation of a $45 million Institute for Creative Technologies at the University of Southern California. The institute will work with film studios and video-game designers to create the next generation of military simulators. The studios and designers will then be free to use the technology they develop to create theme-park rides and special effects. "It's a win-win for everyone," says Secretary of the Army Louis Caldera. It's good for the country, it's good for the studios, and it's good for us. Like when Howard Hughes took all that money for airplanes and shoved it down Jane Russell's shirt. The New York Times asked screenwriter John Milius for his opinion, and the Conan the Barbarian scribe said it sounded just fine to him. Quiz Extra In 1966, John Wayne sent a cable to Lyndon Johnson to secure his support for The Green Berets . Johnson adviser Bill Moyers responded that "it sounded like an exciting venture." Wayne followed up with an eight-page list of the things he would need to make his movie. Which of these items did Wayne really ask for, and which have I just slipped in for fun? 5,800,000 rifles and carbines 102,000 machine guns 28,000 trench mortars 53,000 field and heavy guns 13,000 airplanes 24,000 airplane engines 50,000 ammunition wagons 11,000 field kitchens 1,150 field bakeries Answer I didn't add anything to this list. Wayne received full military cooperation on his terms and was billed $18,623.64. Common Denominator Red Dawn . Editor's Note Tim Carvell will be the guest host for next week's News Quiz. Randy Cohen returns Aug. 30.-- C.K. Sibling Rivalry Please send your questions for publication to prudence@slate.com. Dear Prudence, A recent inquiry regarding replacing the has prompted me to seek your assistance. I asked my younger sister, age 20, to be my MOH. But she is making the planning of my wedding a nightmare. I had thought it would be a kind gesture if I asked her to pick out the dresses for the bridesmaids. We visited three bridal salons, and she made a veritable scene in each one. She was unspeakably ugly to both my mother and me, as well as the staff (swearing, sarcasm, and just plain rudeness). I was deeply embarrassed, and she apparently doesn't understand that this is not going to be "her day." I asked her to help address envelopes and other little things that need doing, and she refused: "Not in the mood." The icing on the cake is that when she asked if the MOH is supposed to make a toast at the reception and I said it was traditional, she flat-out refused. Both my mother and I have tried speaking with her, but that just unleashed foul behavior. I am sick of her antics and fed up with her. I realize that asking her to relinquish the "title" may jeopardize our relationship, but I don't understand her behavior at all. --T.H. Dear T., Prudie does. The little sister is competitive with you, and there's a chance she wishes the bride and bridesmaid roles were reversed. Acting out in stores and "foul behavior" are indicative of emotional problems, deep hostility, and no self-control. By all means withdraw the "title," and tell her you do not wish to burden her with MOH chores, nor do you wish to have your dream day spoiled. There is not a reason in the world that you should have to tolerate this pill of a sister. In fact, suggest that she not attend the wedding. You need not be the victim of her neuroses. As for "jeopardizing the relationship," with all due respect, it sounds as if it's already on life support. Just because she is your sister doesn't mean she gets to behave less well than a friend. Sometimes a relative is just an annoying person courtesy of DNA (or, if you're religious, a punishment from God). --Prudie, proactively Dear Prudie, My question also concerns , but this time in an office setting, in a bathroom with many stalls. If you think you recognize the feet of the user in the stall next door and you have a question or a comment, should you start talking? --Wondering, too Dear Won, If this is a same-sex bathroom, not an Ally McBeal unisex setup, Prudie would say it's OK. (She is not exactly sure why, though.) Do begin, however, by verifying it's the person you think it is so that you are not having a conversation with the wrong pair of shoes. You might also want to edit your conversation for whoever else might be listening. This would entail, Prudie guesses, checking for more shoes. --Prudie, loquaciously Dear Prudence, I thought your response to the about telemarketers was wonderfully done. Would you run for president? Better yet, would you spearhead a tasteful anti-telemarketing crusade? I am thinking of an Internet movement. Can you imagine thousands of people answering telemarketers by singing one line of "Alice's Restaurant" and then hanging up? --D.C. Dear D., Prudie cannot run for president because she is having such fun working at Slate . She is, also, alas, out of the crusade business. Your idea, however, about singing and hanging up is now being read by tons of people, so telemarketers beware. --Prudie, melodically Dear Prudence, Thanks for all your good advice. Here's my problem: I broke off a relationship with a delightful man who lives two houses up the street. We were together for nearly four years. I'm starting my own business and just don't want to be in a committed relationship right now--but I would like for us to be friends. He is having a great deal of trouble letting go of the more physical aspects of our past and spends a lot of time begging for "just one more time." How can I make it clear to him that breaking up means losing that physical connection? He's prone to pouting, and it's driving me nuts. --Thanks, TOO MUCH LOVE IN VT. Dear TOO, Prudie is going to give you the exact language. This is what you say: "The last time was the last time." And if you have broken up, how is it that you are subject to the pouting? By the way, it seems quite clear that your current neighbor/former beau is not looking to be "friends." --Prudie, definitely Prudence, When taking my seat in a crowded movie theater, do I say, "Excuse me" to those already seated before, while, or after I step on their feet? --R. Smith Dear R., Prudie always says it before. The Dead Sea To hear the poet read "The Dead Sea," click . Inventing a holy land,who would have settled for theseneutral hills bare except for scrub and sage,a sky unclouded as impenetrable,now and then the timeless Bedouin tent--which would explain, along that ridge,a straggling flock of goatswith stretched-out, walking shadows? And now the eastern approaches. Yet nothingabout the frontier's fenced compoundssuggests the traveller en route elsewhereshould stop--even if stepping on the gascan't do much toward cancelling those pictures,the color of pain, a visual undersong ...Once coppergreen expanses of waterslide into view, though, no one could failto sense the difference in beingbelow sea level--air heavyin the ear, oxygen-rich, cool, dry,scented with desert, and holy enough.A hand dipped in water pondersthe viscous feel of minerals in solution,and little tumuli of salts and carbonatesbuild a submarine city sprawlingfor miles under the hammered-metal surface.On a shore hazed with distance, neat rowsof date palms identify themselveswith a green herringbone frond and ripen foodstuffs for, say, the heavenly banquet.Ritual ablution even so has coatedyour skin with a pale silt glove;and sea and desert are one. Remember the hands, calloused and sunburned,of the Quumran scribes, seated at a cave's mouth,negotiating light that dawn brought backwith the promise of deliverance.Shadow and light, black fireon white fire, the unswerving word,conferring a sacred indifferenceto an urban, merely visual appeal.The caves, dark sockets in a cliff wall,return no one's gaze today,even if they once did seea mountain range of crumpled felt,castiron eagles fixed on approaching spears,and a southbound Jordan feeding the samefluid body, ever moremineral, ever heavier with salt. Living the Greek Way Rush to Judgment All this sorority bashing is getting so old (see the "," by Alison Spurgeon, sorority sister). Ironically, those who spout off the most about Greek life and conformity are just as guilty of it. Do people who are covered with piercings and tattoos really believe they are expressing their individuality? They are just as conformist; humans naturally gravitate toward groups and chances to belong to a larger whole. Having been in a sorority and then working in government, nonprofits, and the corporate world, I find that Greek life was very representative of the "real world." Every house has idiots, sluts, social climbers, and alcoholics. Every house also has geniuses, philanthropists, and varying kinds of campus leaders. There are brown-nosing and backstabbing and viciousness. There are also kindness and loyalty and real bonds that are developed between people. For someone like me, who hadn't had very many close friendships with women, it was a truly beneficial experience, even if I hated a lot of what went on. -- Michelle Honald Denver Leave It, Levitt Steven Levitt is being extremely disingenuous when he claims that he takes no position on the public policy implications of his research (""). Obviously crime is a bad thing, so if your research indicates a correlation between a social practice--abortion--and a reduction in crime, you are at a minimum implicitly advocating that practice with the minimum of legal restrictions. Your analogy to global warming research points up the deceit. The impetus for research on global warming has come from those who believe that fossil fuel consumption is out of control and who reinforce their beliefs with global warming research, given everyone's understanding that major man-made climatic change is a bad thing. No one is out there advocating global warming. Maybe your research is right, maybe it is wrong, but you undermine your credibility when you claim to be oblivious to its implications. You had to have a thesis going in when you started your research, and given that we already knew crime rates were falling, it is hard to believe you weren't looking for a correlation between abortion and falling crime rates. Life is too short to use one's career wandering in the dark, and no one is going to believe that's what you did. By all means, fight back on the eugenics attacks. That's below the belt. I think it is perfectly respectable for you to use your results to say that all those who have been pointing to overall demographic shifts, or changing police tactics, or increasing incarceration rates are missing a key factor. But you are just waving a red flag to a bull when you cast attacks on others for supposedly misreading you altogether. -- Ken O'Brien Los Angeles Malleable Lamar Lamar Alexander's campaign never got off the ground because the American people can recognize a phony (""). Alexander can and will mold himself into anything. As Bush's secretary of education he was for "Break-the-Mold" schools. Earlier he had favored comprehensive schools. Now that people have turned against large government interventions, he wants to make every school a "charter school" with power vested in the parents and teachers. He says this will make our system the best. When Linda Wertheimer asked him, "How would we know?" there was a moment of glorious dead air. Michael Lewis, interviewed about his book Trail Fever , observed that Alexander "did something I didn't think possible in this campaign. He proved you could be too phony. This is why Clinton feared him most of all the candidates. He was so malleable. He even looks a little like putty." -- Gerald W. Bracey Alexandria, Va. Aftershocks A socio-political aftershock rumbles through Turkey. The Aug. 17 earthquake "sent tremors rippling through Turkey's political and social world, triggering a backlash against the traditional Turkish faith in an all-powerful state," reported Toronto's Globe and Mail . Although it is unlikely that the current government will be brought down by the crisis, the paper says it could lead to "the grassroots development of Turkey's fragile democracy. The thousands of volunteers who poured into the earthquake zone will not easily forget the power they were able to mobilize." Writing in the International Herald Tribune , Turkish journalist Mehmet Ali Birand called for "massive economic-political support, reminiscent of the Marshall Plan." Referring to Turkey's longstanding application for membership in the European Union, Birand said, "A special fund needs to be established to get the Turkish economy up and running, not under the leadership of the United States but this time with a campaign led by the EU. It is urgent that the European Union formally grant Turkey candidate status." Meanwhile, Britain's Independent reported that the PKK Kurdish separatist group has started to withdraw its forces from Turkey into northern Iraq a week earlier than previously announced. A statement issued by the group declared, "To unilaterally stop the war at this time of heavy disaster is the greatest support to the state and people of Turkey," since money spent fighting the PKK should instead go to earthquake-recovery efforts. After 25 years of comparative neglect, East Timor has found its way into the world's papers this week (see Monday's ). Writing in the Globe and Mail , Marcus Gee said that of the two options in the Aug. 30 referendum--autonomy within Indonesia or independence--the most likely outcome might not be the best. "Becoming independent may end their oppression; it will not end their troubles. In fact, it may only make those troubles worse." He added, "The independent nation of East Timor would be a flyspeck on the world map." Without Indonesian subsidies East Timor would be at the mercy of the international aid community and susceptible to civil strife. Another referendum is scheduled to take place Sept. 16 in Algeria, where voters are being asked to approve or reject a presidential reconciliation effort that offers amnesty to people convicted of actively supporting violence as long as they did not actually commit acts of violence. To enhance Algeria's chances of peace, Pakistan's Dawn said in an editorial that the recent upsurge of political violence--at least 130 people have been killed by armed extremists in recent weeks--must "not be allowed to weaken or derail" the peace efforts. At the same time, the paper said, Algerian President Abdelaziz Bouteflika "must concentrate his efforts on removing one of the primary causes of popular discontent and strife, namely, economic mismanagement which has led to a high unemployment rate and declining living standards." The kidnapping of four Japanese mining engineers in the central Asian state of Kyrgyzstan has caused a crisis in Japan. According to Asahi Shimbun , the hostage takers are Islamic rebels from Tajikistan. Mainichi Shimbun speculated that jealousy might have been a motive for groups within Tajikistan or other neighboring countries envious of Japan's generous aid program to Kyrgyzstan. One commentator suggested that "the culprits may well have deliberately targeted the Japanese knowing that Japan places top priority on human lives in settling [hostage] cases. ... Taking hostages could be aimed at getting a ransom as well as weapons, water and food." Another pundit questioned the Japanese aid agency's decision to declare the area safe. Lax security has been blamed for other hostage-taking incidents involving Japanese nationals, such as the four-month seizure of the Japanese Embassy in Lima, Peru, in 1996, and this may have led to a perception of Japanese as easy targets, Asahi Shimbun said. The Hindu of Madras reports that India's hottest Web site is www.soniagandhionline.com. Normally thought of as reclusive, the leader of the Congress Party is now accessible "with a vengeance." Stung by accusations that it has fallen behind in the online competition, Congress' main political rival, the BJP, said that it prefers a chat format for online discourse and will have a site up and running soon. Cheer By Stanley Plumly (posted Wednesday, Sept. 10) To hear the poet read this poem, click . Like the waxwings in the juniper,a dozen at a time, divided, paired,passing the berries back and forth, and bynightfall, wobbling, piping, wounded with joy. Or a party of redwings grazing whatfalls--blossom and seed, nutmeat and fruit--made light in the head and cut by the light,swept from the ground, carried downwind, taken ... It's called wing-rowing, the wing-burdened armsunbending, yielding, striking a balance,walking the white invisible line drawnjust ahead in the air, first sign the slur, the liquid notes too liquid, the heart in the mouth melodious, too close, which startsthe chanting, the crooning, the long lyricsilences, the song of our undoing. It's called side-step, head-forward, raised-crown, flap-and-glide-flight aggression, though courtship isthe object, affection the compulsion,love the overspill--the body nodding, still standing, ready to fly straight out ofitself--or it's bill-tilt, wing-flash, topple-over; wing-droop, bowing, tail-flick and drift;back-ruffle, wing-spread, quiver and soar. Someone is troubled, someone is trying,in earnest, to explain; to speak without swallowing the tongue; to find the perfectword among so few or the too many-- to sing like the thrush from the deepest partof the understory, territorial,carnal, thorn-at-the-throat, or flutelikein order to make one sobering sound. Sound of the breath blown over the bottle,sound of the reveler home at dawn, light of the sun a warbler yellow, the sun insong-flight, lopsided-pose. Be of good cheer, my father says, lifting his glass to greet a morning in which he's awake to bewith the birds: or up all night in the sleepof the world, alive again, singing. The Vine (posted Wednesday, Sept. 24) To hear Robert Pinsky read "The Vine," click . The term "phallocentric" finds one of its more ludicrously explicit instances in Robert Herrick's funny little poem about a wet dream. In contrast to contemporary writing about sex, however, the 17 th -century poet Herrick does not really put the male organ--or any organ--at the center of his poem; for him, imagination--both erotic imagination and literary imagination--is central. He smiles a little mockingly, but affectionately, at his own body. The helplessness of Lucia in this fantasy, and the idea of "Bacchus ravisht by his tree," may make us uneasy on feminist grounds; but the corrective reality of the last line--the physical fact of the helpless erection--corrects and undermines the imagination's unreal fantasy of domination. The reality sunnily undermines the preposterous fantasy. Herrick's poem is a loose translation of a piece by the ancient Greek poet Anacreon. The quality of civilization--and civilization accepting that it is made of and by the human body, laughing at that body fondly, putting it in its place--is part of what makes the poem interesting and appealing. --Robert Pinsky I dream'd this mortal part of mineWas Metamorphoz'd to a Vine;Which crawling one and every wayEnthralled my dainty Lucia .Me thought, her long small legs & thighsI with my Tendrils did surprize;Her Belly, Buttocks, and her WasteBy my soft Nerv'lits were embrac'd :About her head I writhing hung,And with rich clusters (hid amongThe leaves) her temples I behung:So that my Lucia seem'd to meYoung Bacchus ravisht by his tree.My curles about her neck did craule,And armes and hands they did enthrall;So that she could not freely stir,(All parts there made one prisoner.)But when I crept with leaves to hideThose parts, which maids keep unespy'd,Such fleeting pleasures there I took,That with the fancie I awook;And found (Ah me!) this flesh of mineMore like a Stock , than like a Vine . Meditation on a Line From Whitman By Don Bogen (posted Wednesday, May 6, 1998) To hear the poet read "Meditation on a Line From Whitman," click . They are so lonely, our dying cities,specks on the vast familiar map that looks like a side of beef,in boldface or marked with a circled dot,ringed by their beltways, linked into nameless constellations by the interstates.Some are red giants, spreading and cooling in the smoggy dusk,others dwarfs with dense shrunken coresor black holes so involuted they swallow the light around them. On my way out of town, I drive through a fold in time,a tunnel through the history of shopping:boarded-up storefronts on the narrow commercial streets,the old strips and plazas with a muffler shop or a chicken fryer left,and larger sites--a five-and-dime blown out into a warehouse,fast-food shops, all local chains now,with their scratchy speakers and pot-holed drive-thru lanes;then the first real malls, big as aircraft carriers, low and blocky,their outlying coffee shops and two-screen theaters like escorts;at last a quieting stretch, the freeway growing wallsand the walled tracts all around nestled in their names--The Willows, Hunt Club Crossing, Hidden Acres--their malls planted, soft-colored, smoothly designed,broad single lumps surrounded by asphalt prairie,distant and unobtrusive as buttes. What is an executive home? Who lives there?I imagine the orbiting managers, shifted every five yearsto another desirable location beyond the beltway,another stand of young pines and curving roads, another commute,another city as a set of season tickets to the football gamesor a pass even to skyboxes if they should rise so high.Some will. At home, in their brief stops,they glide effortlessly up the ladder of good schools,ladder of yard space, of techno-buttonsin the family room, vehicles lined on the drive,the whole ensemble an island drifting further and further from the rotted core. Bland wealth of the suburbs,it's futile to keep despising it, I know,unfair to friends who have to live there--or else in slums--but sometimes its cultivated innocence feels like an assault.I don't want to join the country club because there are no parks.I don't want to leave my car in an underground garage,rise to the office, sink at the end of day,drive home unable to stop or roll down the windowstill I see the familiar guard in his gatepost waiting at the start of our street. This sealed-off life--even the ease of it disturbs me.Secure, imperturbable, it floats in a daydream of possibilities--a trip to the water park, things to buy at the hardware depot,quality time, preparation for success, Have you outstript the rest? Are you the President? --a huge ball of dust drifting and whirlingas the light from burnt-out stars races over it. Danforth on the Case Former Sen. John Danforth, R-Mo., will lead an independent inquiry into the assault on Waco. Attorney General Janet Reno appointed him in response to revelations that the FBI lied about the use of tear gas. Everyone agrees Danforth is principled and independent. Democrats say his appointment will rebuild support for Reno, who has done an "extraordinary job ." Republicans say Reno is still incompetent and should resign . ( Slate 's and assess Reno's performance.) East Timor is in chaos. Military-backed militias have killed hundreds and forced thousands to flee since the South Pacific territory voted last week for independence from Indonesia. Martial law has been declared, and Indonesia has rejected a U.N. offer of peacekeeping troops. The international community is debating whether continued inaction would be: 1) prudent because it is important to maintain good relations with Indonesia; 2) foolish, since Indonesia's inability to maintain peace makes intervention inevitable; or 3) hypocritical in light of the United Nations' active role in Kosovo. (For more, see Slate 's ".") Boris Yeltsin is suspected of taking bribes. Swiss investigators say that a construction company may have paid him over $1 million in exchange for contracts to renovate the Kremlin. Yeltsin denied the charges. The White House hinted that it doesn't believe him. Foreign leaders expressed weary distaste and suspicion that Yeltsin is mixed up with the Bank of New York money-laundering scandal. Russians speculated about whether he will quit early and whether he will name Prime Minister Vladimir Putin as interim president or force an election. Viacom is buying CBS . The $35 billion marriage would be the largest media merger ever and would join television's highest-rated network with the owner of Paramount and MTV. Investors' spin: It's a perfect fit , since the new company would control the creation, production, and distribution of TV shows and movies. Media-watchers' spin: Viacom's ascendancy reflects a new balance of power --niche programming beats out shows aimed at wide audiences. Consumers' spin: Yaaawn. Let's just hope they don't cancel Touched by an Angel . ( Slate 's "Moneybox" the merger.) Israel and the Palestinian Authority signed a peace deal. The deal modifies the previously signed but unfulfilled Wye agreement. The rosy spin: Peace at last! The skeptical spin: That's what they said when the last deal was signed. The cynical spin: Now that the peace process is back on track, terrorists are staging bomb attacks in Israel to make sure it's derailed again. Meanwhile, Israel's highest court shocked everyone by restricting the authority of Israeli security forces to use force against detainees. ( Slate 's "Frame Game" explains the between peace and terrorism.) Twelve Puerto Rican nationalists accepted President Clinton's clemency offer. The prisoners, members of a terrorist group linked to 100 bombings in the United States, agreed to renounce violence in exchange for their freedom. Hillary Clinton had announced last week that she no longer supported her husband's offer. Politicos disagree about which was clumsier: Bill's offer of clemency to cultivate Puerto Rican support for his wife's Senate campaign; or Hillary's rejection of that support in an attempt to cultivate her own identity. Bill Bradley declared his candidacy for president. He emphasized his small-town upbringing and his distance from the current Washington scene. The pessimistic spin: He can't beat Vice President Gore, who is well-funded, well-connected, and leads in the polls. The optimistic spin: He trails Gore by only a few points in crucial states and will take off as Clinton fatigue grows. Henry Cisneros pleaded guilty to a misdemeanor charge of lying about payments to his former mistress. He accepted the plea bargain just before being tried on 18 felony counts. The unanimous spin: Yet another independent counsel has wasted vast sums of money trying to prove a flawed case against a member of the Clinton administration. The Clintons bought a Westchester, N.Y., home. Terry McAuliffe, the president's chief fund-raiser, used his own money to secure the loan for the $1.7 million house. Pundits whether the assistance was an apolitical gesture of friendship or an attempt at improper influence. The Houston Comets won the Women's National Basketball Association championship. They have won the title in each of the league's three years. Everyone now agrees they're a "dynasty." The pessimistic view: This robs the WNBA of suspense and makes it boring, which a fledgling league can ill afford. The WNBA's view: Having a "dynasty" team helps the league market itself. The long view: Relax, dynasties haven't killed the men's game. Sizzling Bacon Movies Stir of Echoes (Artisan Entertainment). The second film this summer featuring a little boy who sees dead people gets decent reviews, but most say it's not as good as the similar box office smash The Sixth Sense . Echoes focuses on the little boy's father, played by Kevin Bacon in "one of his best performances" (Roger Ebert, the Chicago Sun-Times ). Bacon also possesses second sight, not to mention a compulsion to dig up his backyard following an impromptu hypnosis session at a party. The film "is at its best in its mysterious, genuinely chilling first half. But as the plot kicks in, the hysteria mounts and the explanations start coming, the tension starts to dissipate" (David Ansen, Newsweek ). (Click here to find out about Kevin Bacon's band, the Bacon Brothers.) Stigmata (MGM-UA). This would-be thriller gets punctured by the critics: "Possibly the funniest movie ever made about Catholicism--from a theological point of view" (Ebert, the Chicago Sun-Times ). The film stars Patricia Arquette as a beautician who is mysteriously afflicted with stigmata after receiving a rosary with a history from her mother. Critics term it "a silly, roiling melange of special effects and overheated religious symbolism" that is at heart a "half-baked anticlerical screed" with "lots of broken glass, bird feathers, dripping blood and desperately fancy camera angles" (Stephen Holden, the New York Times ). (Click here to visit a fan page devoted to the film.) Outside Providence (Miramax Films). Evenly divided negative and positive reports for this unexpectedly sincere coming-of-age story from the masters of gross-out comedy, the Farrelly brothers ( There's Something About Mary ). Directed by Michael Corrente and based on a novel by Peter Farrelly, it's a standard fish-out-of-water tale (poor kid from small-town Rhode Island gets sent to a snobby boarding school). Those who like it say it's "a sweet, funny little movie" (Ansen, Newsweek ) and that "one finds oneself asking how such familiar material breeds contentment instead of contempt" (Richard Schickel, Time ). Critics also note that two great performances, by Shawn Hatosy as the kid and Alec Baldwin as his gruff dad, help lift the film above clich. Those who pan the movie call it a vanity project for the now-famous brothers that offers "nothing fresh, and everything bland" (Lisa Schwarzbaum, Entertainment Weekly ). Or as Susan Wloszczyna writes in USA Today : "Let's hope they have exorcised these pap-spewing demons and get their minds back in the gutter." (Click here to read an interview with the Farrelly brothers, and to read David Edelstein's rave in Slate .) Book For Common Things: Irony, Trust, and Commitment in America Today , by Jedediah Purdy (Knopf). Critics dig into 24-year-old Purdy, who argues that irony and ironic figures such as Jerry Seinfeld are a cancer corrupting the soul of America. Unsurprisingly, Irony Inc. (a k a the New York Observer ) shreds the book, calling the chapter on the dangers of genetic engineering "a warning so bloated with bombast that one begins to wish that the gene for pomposity could be extirpated for the sake of future generations. ... I say earnestly, with feeling, What garbage! " (Adam Begley). Harper's calls Purdy a "cornpone prophet" and blasts his "unctuous sentimentality" (Roger D. Hodge). Christopher Lehmann-Haupt writes in the New York Times that the book is "impressive if somewhat pious" but finds Purdy's points unoriginal: "He labors at length such crashingly obvious ideas as the ethical ambiguities of technology." A few stick up for the embattled author, arguing that though "the ideas expressed aren't complicated," Purdy "grapples with them with a seriousness that puts more seasoned--and ironic--commentators to shame" ( Publishers Weekly ). Walter Kirn, writing in Time , seems a bit gleeful at the fact that "the brainy nature boy has stormed the capital, panicking the languid sophisticates with an unfashionably passionate attack on the dangers of passionlessness," only to later concede that the book is "an arduous read that would test the syntactical skills of a tenured professor." (Click here to read the first chapter.) Snap Judgments Book 'Tis: A Memoir , by Frank McCourt (Scribner). The hype revs up for McCourt's follow-up to his best-selling, Pulitzer Prize-winning Angela's Ashes . 'Tis tops all fall preview lists, and now the first review is in: Michiko Kakutani (the New York Times ) says it's "a considerably angrier book than Angela's Ashes . ... [T]his sour tone of complaint does not make for particularly engaging or sympathetic reading." Movie Chill Factor (Warner Bros.).Critics barely even bother with this action flick starring Cuba Gooding Jr. and Skeet Ulrich as a pair of ne'er-do-wells who end up with a load of heat-sensitive poison on their hands. They drive it around the country in a dilapidated ice-cream truck trying to keep it cool. "Stale macho jokes and formulaic cliffhangers drive this chase-by-numbers thriller on the bumpy road to nowhere" (Holden, the New York Times ). Toys Are Us Ever since a scandalized Parisian populace greeted the unveiling of Edouard Manet's Olympia with shocked indignation, controversy has been one measure of seriousness in Western art. Of the two women depicted in Olympia , the lily-white nude courtesan, displayed on a chaise longue, elicited the outcry. Far less attention was given her fully clothed companion, a black maid in a West Indian turban. To a contemporary audience, the picture is still disturbing, but for different reasons. It's the uneasy conjunction of race and sexuality that rankles, the suspicion that for Manet, the black maid added a kinky allure to the charms of the snide white prostitute. The Institute of Contemporary Art in Philadelphia has been at the center of some of the recent firestorms concerning artistic expression and its public support. The institute took flak in Congress for the S&M images in its Robert Mapplethorpe show, and for displaying Andres Serrano's crucifix suspended in urine. Recently, however, it has found itself on the other side of the censorship divide, and race is what pushed it there. It has made news not by mounting a show, but by canceling one before it opened. The show in question, scheduled for this month, was to be devoted to photographer David Levinthal's Polaroid close-ups of some objects in his possession. These are what is sometimes referred to as black memorabilia--including Aunt Jemima cookie jars, windup minstrel dancers, Amos and Andy faces, and the like--what another avid collector, Whoopi Goldberg, refers to as "Negrobilia." Two prominent black scholars, Houston Baker and Henry Louis Gates Jr., expressed an interest in writing catalog copy. That neither writer was ultimately able to do so may have doomed the show. According to one institute curator (as reported by Richard B. Woodward in the Village Voice ), the advisory board didn't feel Levinthal was "critiquing the objects he was photographing. They weren't transformative enough." It's not clear--nor did the board suggest--what might have counted as "critique" or "transformation." But such is the nervous rigidity of our current aesthetic climate, where ambiguity is tolerated on neither the left nor the right, that when a smaller version of Levinthal's series "Blackface" opened in New York, at the Janet Borden Gallery in SoHo, some reviewers followed the institute's lead in thinking that only two questions needed to be posed about these photographs: 1) Are the memorabilia themselves offensive? And 2) If so, does Levinthal condemn them? The New York Times reviewer examined the evidence and convicted Levinthal of "moral indeterminacy"--he evidently hadn't condemned them vigorously enough. This was precisely the sort of charge that was leveled at Manet in 1869. A major retrospective of Levinthal's work, including some images from "Blackface" (1995-96), is now on display at the International Center of Photography on the Upper East Side of New York City. The show, which covers seven different series of photographs taken over the past 21 years, makes clear that some sort of moral indeterminacy has always been at the center of Levinthal's art. He first created a stir 20 years ago, with a remarkable book of photographs and commentary called "Hitler Moves East." Levinthal's collaborator was his Yale art-school classmate, Garry Trudeau, creator of Doonesbury . The black-and-white photographs of German troops moving into the former Soviet Union have the grainy, blurred look of authentic reportage from the Eastern Front and bear an obvious debt to Robert Capa's work for Life magazine. What was unusual about Levinthal's images was that he had staged them himself--and not with human models, but with toys. As two soldiers mounted on a motorcycle and cab push inexorably into the frigid landscape--with flour substituting for snow--there's an uneasy mix of the trompe l'oeil and the trumped up. Other photographers of Levinthal's generation, such as Cindy Sherman, have testified to the influence of "Hitler Moves East" in pushing photography away from the sternly mimetic documentary style of the 1960s toward a more playful, artificial relation to the world. "Hitler Moves East" was produced during the final phase of the Vietnam War, and Levinthal has recently suggested that "you come away [from the book] with a strong antiwar statement." Levinthal's mock-doc images have none of the chaotic horror of Vietnam. Rather, there's a soft-focus decorum, and a powerful nostalgia for a simpler, "good" war. These soldiers have driven out of a dream world set far back in an imagined past, one drawn from movies and newsreels. Nostalgia is also the hallmark of Levinthal's next major series, "The Wild West" (1987-89), which took him in the opposite direction, if only geographically. Again, the medium is toys--heroic cowboys and occasional Indians--bathed this time in muted colors. A cowboy swings his lariat before a rearing white horse and, for a second, you're caught by the power and careful balance of the tableau. In other shots, Indians with raised tomahawks and spears give rise to a nervous wall panel at the ICP assuring us that Levinthal is "mindful of real history," and that his work somehow "prompts the viewer's recollections of our forefathers' injustices: cultural expansionism, genocide and racism." This is absurd--if we do think about the white settlers' misdeeds when looking at Levinthal's work, it's only because of how much our cultural dialogue now emphasizes them--and the urge to protect Levinthal from potential charges of political insensitivity is part of the same lock-step aesthetics that seem to follow Levinthal everywhere. It obscures the fact that Levinthal's territory in the Western series is much the same as in "Hitler Moves East," a liminal realm of fantasy where the most successful images--like that rearing horse, or a man hanging from a noose on a stunted tree--toe the line between real and make-believe. Whatever wildness remains in this toyshop West--as innocent of political engagement as a child's playroom floor--derives from a visual imagination stocked with '50s movies and a reckless willingness to play these overexposed scenes straight, with neither irony nor commentary. Levinthal's photographic forays into romance and sexuality are less sure-footed. The lonely lamp-lit couples in his "Modern Romance" (1984-86), contrived with dolls and miniature props soon after his move to New York City in 1983, effectively evoke the nighttime diners and hotel bedrooms of Edward Hopper and film noir. But Levinthal's soft-focus experiments with '50s bathing-beauty dolls posing on piles of sand ("American Beauties," [1989-90]) and Japanese mail-order bondage toys ("Desire," [1990-91]) don't go much beyond the genres they mimic. Levinthal's visual games with sex toys are predictably controversial (is he complicit or "critiquing"?) without being particularly disturbing. His latest two series, though, succeed at being both. While the upbeat "Hitler Moves East" skirted any mention of the destruction of the European Jews, "Mein Kampf " (1993-94) explores, in lurid color--especially the Nazi colors of red and black--Hitler's crimes against humanity. We see "inspections" of nude candidates for the gas chambers, women and children shot beside ditches, rapes, people herded into freight cars--all enacted by lifelike dolls. The images have some of the power of Art Spiegelman's comic-book version of the Holocaust, Maus , and for some of the same reasons. Given the rote piety of so much Holocaust rhetoric (there's more of it on the ICP wall panels), openly artificial treatments from such "nonserious" realms as comics and toy soldiers have an unsettling power to thaw and refocus our feelings. It's jarring to move from the lurid theatricality of "Mein Kampf " to the head-on, propless portraits of Levinthal's "Blackface" series. Again, we have some silly palaver assuring us that Levinthal is aware that these items depict stereotyped images of blacks--as though we suspected that he endorsed them, or thought they were realistic. In fact, the objects Levinthal has photographed are extremely varied, and the galleries might have helped the viewer out by furnishing details about the items' provenance and use. Nor is the degree of "stereotyping" at all consistent among the items. They range from crudely bug-eyed pickaninnies eating watermelon--their vacant grins echoed by the great smile of the rind--to almost idealized sculpted heads of black children. Levinthal's title for this series reveals his interest in a tradition of blackface masquerade that, by the turn of the century, was largely a Jewish province (think of Al Jolson's The Jazz Singer ). While Jewish minstrelsy operated on the premise that black people were inherently funny, it also reflected a complex identification of Jews with blacks--an identification between outsider groups explored by such contemporary scholars as Michael Rogin, in Blackface, White Noise , and Eric Lott, in Love and Theft . Of course, a layer of burnt cork smeared over the face does not a new identity make. The very luridness of the mask preserved as much distance as it bridged. And yet, these sad-faced, cigar-munching Amos and Andy figures--which seem to date from the time when white actors yielded to black in those roles--have a racially ambiguous pathos. It's as though their melancholy derived from the excruciating imperative to be blacks performing according to the conventions of blackface. The objects that interest Levinthal, as he points out in a statement at the Janet Borden Gallery, could as well be called "white memorabilia," since they record, presumably, the fantasies of white people, including the fantasy of assuming a temporary black identity. These Aunt Jemima cookie jars and Amos and Andy faces, dented and scarred with use, stare back at us as unnervingly as Diane Arbus freaks, but with the added accusation, at least to white viewers, that you made us this way. Theater of War According to Nathaniel Hawthorne, who met Abraham Lincoln in March of 1862, one year into the Civil War, Lincoln looked like a country schoolmaster: He was "about the homeliest man I ever saw." Lincoln's hair was "black, still unmixed with gray, stiff, somewhat bushy, and had apparently been acquainted with neither brush nor comb that morning, after the disarrangement of the pillow." The man who spruced up the shaggy president for posterity was Mathew Brady, and a brush and comb were the least of his tools of transformation, as a comprehensive exhibition at the National Portrait Gallery in Washington makes abundantly clear. Brady's studio assistants used vises and braces to keep their subjects still, columns and drapes to make them look distinguished, light and shade to give them depth and stature. When Lincoln posed for Brady in 1860, during a campaign swing through New York City, Brady's staff retouched the negative to reel in Lincoln's roving left eye, and erased the lines on his face. The shimmering and widely published result, according to Lincoln, "made me President." A Brady Lincoln is on the penny, and another on the five-dollar bill. This exhibition, along with the excellent catalog by curator Mary Panzer, is out to correct the impression that Brady captured the look of his times with the new apparatus that couldn't lie. Brady is often credited with bringing the war home, in the images that appeared in newspapers all across the North. Brady's name, in fact, has become all but synonymous with Civil War photography. While it is probably true, as Susan Sontag has argued, that Brady's images of the horrors of the battlefields "did not make people any less keen to go on with the Civil War," he did convey to his audience the sheer human cost of the war. He also inspired generations of photographers--especially such 1930s masters of documentation as Berenice Abbott and Walker Evans--with the idea that there was something peculiarly American about the pitiless gaze of the camera. "If he has not brought bodies and laid them in our door-yards and along the streets," wrote a New York Times editorialist at the time, "he has done something very like it." These were the images that lit a fire in the brain of Stephen Crane when he was writing The Red Badge of Courage 30 years later. But actually, as Panzer's catalog makes clear, Brady was put off by corpses. The stunning images of the Antietam dead, lying in ditches where they fell, are the work (published under Brady's name) of his brilliant assistants Alexander Gardner and Timothy O'Sullivan. (You can see some of these battlefield photos in Slate 's "The Taste for Taboo.") Far from being a documentarian, Brady considered himself an artist, and his images, in the jargon of current art history, were highly "constructed." When a general failed to show up for a group photograph of Gen. William Sherman and his staff, Brady had him photographed the next day, and spliced his image into the ensemble. When the faces of the Senate committee convened to impeach President Andrew Jackson looked too sour, Brady painted in a reassuringly genteel background. For a few hundred dollars, he was willing to go all the way, and replace the grays of a photograph with painted colors. Brady worked in close collaboration with painters. Lincoln died in a room barely large enough to hold his bed, but Brady photographed the multitude of mourners one by one in his studio, and the painter Alonzo Chappel assembled them (often in the exact poses Brady had choreographed) in a monumental and wildly popular painting, The Last Hours of Lincoln (1868). That Brady was a great photographer who did not take photographs was merely the most obvious of the many paradoxes of his career. He was an impresario and a brand name, hiring talented assistants (several of whom went on to become major photographers in their own right) to shoot, color, and otherwise alter first daguerreotypes, and then--Brady was always up on the latest technical innovations--stereographs, ambrotypes, Imperial salted paper prints, and other photographic exotica. During the Civil War, Brady sent teams of assistants into the battlefields. His own whereabouts during much of the war remain unknown. A possible reason for this has come to light: While pursuing Gen. Grant for portraits late in the war, Brady was apparently using his knowledge of troop movements to speculate on Wall Street, sending coded messages through intermediaries in New York. One of Grant's assistants got wind of the scheme, and asked Assistant Secretary of War Charles Dana to tell Grant "how he is being deceived by one to whom he has granted various privileges and favors." But Grant remained a stalwart supporter of Brady. The wizard behind these Oz-like wonders remains elusive--we don't even know what year Mathew Brady was born, though 1823 is the usual guess. His childhood in upstate New York is a blank. Brady had serious eye trouble from his youth on; an oil portrait in the show, by his friend Charles Loring Elliott, shows him wearing thick spectacles. Brady made his way to New York City, and by 1843, five years after Daguerre announced his new invention, he was already active in the slightly disreputable trade of photography, manufacturing the leather and metal cases for holding daguerreotypes. Brady's first published work was an 1846 collaboration, with the female warden of Sing Sing, on a phrenological study of prison inmates--the sort of analysis of "criminal physiognomy" that later influenced painters like Degas and the poet Baudelaire. Though Brady never acknowledged the project, he remained in close touch with quacks. A detailed phrenological analysis of Brady himself, dating from 1858--the year that Brady moved his base of operations from New York City to Washington, D.C.--is included in the exhibition catalog. A tireless self-promoter (a friend described him as "felicitously prehensile"), Brady was camera-shy, placing himself on the margins of photographs in which he appeared or, more often, with his back turned. But theatricality is the hallmark of his work. He loved to photograph actors, the more flamboyant the better. He was apparently drawn to women who specialized in "trouser roles"--three are on display in the exhibition, including a particularly intense ambrotype (a cheaper and less luminous form of daguerreotype) of Felicita Vestvali, a lesbian who often appeared as Hamlet. Brady also delighted in Indian costumes: among his photographs are those of a Ute delegation negotiating a treaty in Washington and of the actor Edwin Forrest in warpath regalia as the Indian prince Metamora. When Brady photographed the leaders of the antebellum years--Daniel Webster, Henry Clay, and the rest--he turned them into actors too. They strike heroic, Napoleonic poses, hand to heart, which made these wafflers and compromisers look ridiculous after the debacle of the Civil War. (If you want to see the original of the pose, you can cross the Mall to the National Gallery, where Jacques-Louis David's 1812 Napoleon in His Study hangs.) But for Brady himself, war never quite lost its theatricality. Unlike his cold-eyed assistants, he preferred to visit the battlefield after the corpses had been cleared away. There he would stand, his back turned to us like the contemplative artist figure in a painting by Caspar David Friedrich, and reflect on the glory and folly of mankind. Mathew Brady died in 1896. Elusive till the end, he was scheduled to lecture, two weeks later, on his life and work as a war photographer--with slides and patriotic music--at Carnegie Hall. More Booze You Can Use When we last heard from them, the members of the Slate beer-testing team were coping with lagers and trying to see if they could taste the 3-to-1 price difference between the most- and least-expensive brands. (Click for a wrap-up of the first round of beer tasting.) The answer was: They found one beer they really liked, Samuel Adams Boston Lager , and one they really hated, imported Grolsch from Holland. Both were expensive beers--Grolsch was the most expensive in the test--and otherwise the testers had a hard time telling beers apart. The members of the team, as noted in the original article, all hold day jobs at Microsoft, mainly as designers, managers, and coders for Microsoft Word. The point of the second test was not to find the difference between cheap and expensive beers but instead to compare a variety of top-of-the-line beers. Was there one kind the tasters preferred consistently? Could they detect any of the subtleties of brewing style and provenance that microbrew customers pay such attention to when choosing some Doppelbock over a cream ale? Since the tasting panel had left the first round grumbling that cheap lagers were not a fair test of their abilities, this second round of testing was advertised to the panel as a reward. Every beer in Round 2 would be a fancy beer. A microbrew. A "craft beer." A prestigious import. These were the kinds of beer the panel members said they liked--and the ones they said they were most familiar with. One aspect of the reward was that they would presumably enjoy the actual testing more--fewer rueful beer descriptions along the lines of "urine" or "get it away!" were expected than in the first round. The other aspect of anticipated reward was the panelists' unspoken but obvious assumption that this time they would "do better" on the test. Intellectual vanity being what it is, people who had fought for and won jobs at Microsoft and who still must fight every six months for primacy on the employee-ranking scale (which determines--gasp!--how many new stock options they receive) would assume that their skill as tasters was on trial, just as much as the beer was. Of course they were right, which is what made this round as amusing to administer as the first one had been. Here is what happened and what it meant: 1. Procedure. This was similar in most ways to the experimental approach of Round 1. The nine testers who showed up were a subset of the original 12. The missing three dropped out with excuses of "my wife is sick" (one person) and "meeting is running long" (two). As before, each tester found before him on a table 10 red plastic cups, labeled A through J. Each cup held 3 ounces of one of the beers. The A-to-J labeling scheme was the same for all testers. Instead of saltines for palate-cleansing, this time we had popcorn and nuts. As they began, the tasters were given these and only these clues: that the flight included one "holdover" beer from the previous round (Sam Adams); that it included at least one import (Bass); that it included at least one macrobrew , specifically, a member of the vast Anheuser-Busch family (Michelob Hefeweizen). After sampling all beers, the tasters rated them as follows: Overall quality points, from zero to 100, reflecting their personal, subjective fondness for the beer. Descriptions of and comments about each beer's taste--"smooth and nutty," "too strong," etc. If the first ranking was a measure of how good each beer was, this was an attempt to explain what made it good. Best and Worst , one of each from the group. Name that beer! The tasters were told that some of the drinks were Hefeweizens, some might be IPAs (India pale ales), some might be bitters, and so on. They were asked to put each beer in its proper category--and to name a specific brewery and brand if they could. The idea here was to test the veteran beer drinkers' claim to recognize the distinctive tastes of famous brands. (To see all the grids for all the beers, click .) 2. Philosophy. The first round of testing was All Lager. This second round was All Fancy, and Mainly Not Lager. As several correspondents (for instance, the of Best American Beers ) have helpfully pointed out, the definition of lager provided last time was not exactly "accurate." If you want to stay within the realm of textbook definitions, a lager is a beer brewed a particular way--slowly, at cool temperatures, with yeast that settles on the bottom of the vat. This is in contrast with an ale, which is brewed faster, warmer, and with the yeast on top. By this same reasoning, lagers don't have to be light-colored, weak-flavored, and watery, as mainstream American lagers are. In principle, lagers can be dark, fierce, manly. Therefore, the correspondents suggest, it was wrong to impugn Sam Adams or Pete's Wicked for deceptive labeling, in presenting their tawnier, more flavorful beers as lagers too. To this the beer scientist must say: Book-learning is fine in its place. But let's be realistic. Actual drinking experience teaches the American beer consumer that a) all cheap beers are lagers; and b) most lagers are light-colored and weak. The first test was designed to evaluate low-end beers and therefore had to be lager-centric. This one is designed to test fancy beers--but in the spirit of open-mindedness and technical accuracy, it includes a few "strong" lagers too. 3. Materials. The 10 test beers were chosen with several goals in mind: To cover at least a modest range of fancy beer types--extra special bitter, India pale ale, Hefeweizen, and so on. To include both imported and domestic beers. Among the domestic microbrews, there's an obvious skew toward beers from the Pacific Northwest. But as Microsoft would put it, that's a feature not a bug. These beers all came from the Safeway nearest the Redmond, Wash., "main campus" of Microsoft, and microbrews are supposed to be local. To include one holdover from the previous test, as a scientific control on our tasters' preferences. This was Sam Adams , runaway winner of Round 1. To include one fancy product from a monster-scale U.S. mass brewery, to see if the tasters liked it better or worse than the cute little microbrews. This was Michelob Hefeweizen , from the pride of St. Louis, Anheuser-Busch. Click for pricing information and pre-quaffing evaluations. The beers tasted were: 4. Data Analysis. a) Best and Worst. Compared to the lager test, we would expect the range of "best" choices to be more varied, since all the tested beers were supposed to be good. This expectation was most dramatically borne out in the "Best and Worst" rankings. The nine tasters cast a total of nine Worst votes and 11.5 Best votes. (Tester No. 1 turned in a sheet with three Best selections, or two more than his theoretical quota. Tester No. 4 listed a Best and a Best-minus, which counted as half a vote.) The results were clearest at the bottom: three Worsts for Pyramid Hefeweizen , even though most comments about the beer were more or less respectful. ("Bitter, drinkable.") But at the top and middle the situation was muddier: There were three Bests for Full Sail ESB , which most of the tasters later said they weren't familiar with, and 2.5 for Redhook IPA , which all the tasters knew. But each of these also got a Worst vote, and most of the other beers had a mixed reading. So far, the tasters are meeting expectations, finding something to like in nearly all these fancy beers. b) Overall preference points. Here the complications increase. The loser was again apparent: Pyramid Hefeweizen came in last on rating points, as it had in the Best/Worst derby. But the amazing dark horse winner was Michelob Hefeweizen . The three elements of surprise here, in ascending order of unexpectedness, are: This best-liked beer belonged to the same category, Hefeweizen, as the least-liked product, from Pyramid. This was also the only outright Anheuser-Busch product in the contest (the Redhooks are 75 percent A-B free). It is safe to say that all tasters would have said beforehand that they would rank an American macrobrew last, and Anheuser-Busch last of all. Although it clearly won on overall preference points, Michelob Hefeweizen was the only beer not to have received a single "Best" vote. The first two anomalies can be written off as testament to the power of a blind taste test. The third suggests an important difference in concepts of "bestness." Sometimes a product seems to be the best of a group simply because it's the most unusual or distinctive. This is why very high Wine Spectator ratings often go to wines that mainly taste odd. But another kind of bestness involves an unobtrusive, day-in day-out acceptability. That seems to be Michelob Hefe 's achievement here: no one's first choice, but high on everyone's list. Let's go to the charts: This table shows how the beers performed on "raw score"--that is, without the advanced statistical adjustment of throwing out the highest and lowest score each beer received. Next, we have "corrected average preference points," throwing out the high and low marks for each beer. The result is basically the same: It is worth noting the fate of Sam Adams on these charts. Here it ends up with a score of less than 61. These were the numbers awarded by the very same tasters who gave it a corrected preference rating of 83.33 the last time around--and 10 "Best" votes, vs. one Best (and one Worst) this time. The shift in Bests is understandable and demonstrates the importance of picking your competition. The severe drop in preference points illustrates more acutely the ancient principle of being a big fish in a small pond. These same tasters thought that Sam Adams was objectively much better when it was surrounded by Busch and Schmidt's. c) Value rankings. Last time this calculation led to what the colorful French would call a bouleversement. One of the cheapest beers, Busch, which had been in the lower ranks on overall preference points, came out at the top on value-for-money ratings, because it was so cheap. The big surprise now is that the highest-rated beer was also the cheapest one, Michelob Hefe , so the value calculation turned into a rout: Pyramid Hefeweizen was expensive on top of being unpopular, so its position at the bottom was hammered home--but not as painfully as that of Bass Ale . Bass had been in the respectable lower middle class of the preference rankings, so its disappointing Val-u-meter showing mainly reflects the fact that it was the only beer not on "sale" and therefore by far the costliest entry in the experiment. d) Taster skill. As members of the tasting panel began to suspect, they themselves were being judged while they judged the beer. One of the tasters, No. 7, decided to live dangerously and give specific brands and breweries for Samples A through J. This man was the only panel member whose job does not involve designing Microsoft Word--and the only one to identify two or more of the beers accurately and specifically. (He spotted Redhook IPA and Redhook ESB.) The fact that the beers correctly identified were the two most popular microbrews in the Seattle area suggests that familiarity is the main ingredient in knowing your beer. Many others were simply lost. Barely half the tasters, five of nine, recognized that Michelob Hefeweizen was a Hefeweizen. Before the test, nine of nine would have said that picking out a Hefe was easy, because of its cloudy look and wheaty flavor. Three tasters thought Sam Adams was an IPA ; two thought Redhook's IPA was a Hefeweizen. In fairness, six of nine testers identified Pyramid Hefeweizen as a Hefe, and six recognized Full Sail ESB as a bitter. Much in the fashion of blind men describing an elephant, here is a how the testers handled Sam Adams Boston Lager : 5. Implications and Directions for Future Research. Science does not always answer questions; often, it raises many new ones. This excursion into beer science mainly raises the question: What kind of people are we? If we are Gradgrind-like empiricists, living our life for "welfare maximization" as described in introductory econ. courses, the conclusion is obvious. We learned from the first experiment to buy either Sam Adams (when we wanted maximum lager enjoyment per bottle) or Busch (for maximum taste and snob appeal per dollar). From this second round we see an even more efficient possibility: Buy Michelob Hefeweizen and nothing else, since on the basis of this test it's the best liked and the cheapest beer. By the way, if there is a single company whose achievements the testing panel honored, it would be Anheuser-Busch . From its brewing tanks came two of the double-crown winners of the taste tests: plain old Busch , the Taste-o-meter and Snob-o-meter victor of Round 1, and Michelob Hefeweizen , the preference-point and Val-u-meter winner this time. But, of course, there is another possibility: that what is excluded in a blind taste test is in fact what we want, and are happy to pay for, when we sit down with a beer. The complicated label, the fancy bottle, the exotic concept that this beer has traveled from some far-off corner of Bohemia or even the Yakima Valley--all this may be cheap at the $1.25-per-pint cost difference between the cheapest and the most expensive beers. In elementary school, we all endured a standard science experiment: If you shut your eyes and pinch your nose closed, can you tell any difference in the taste of a slice of apple, of carrot, of pear? You can't--but that doesn't mean that from then on you should close your eyes, hold your nose, and chew a cheap carrot when you feel like having some fruit. There is a time and place for carrots, but also for juicy pears. There is a time for Busch, but also for Full Sail "Equinox." For scientists who want to continue this work at home, here are a few suggestions for further research: Tell the testers ahead of time what beers they will be drinking. Ask them to rank the beers, 1 through 10, based on how well they like them. Then compare the list with the "revealed preferences" that come from the blind test. As a variation, show them the list ahead of time and ask them to pick out the beer they know they love and the one they know they hate. Then compare this with the "after" list. If you're going to test imported lagers, try Foster's or Corona rather than Grolsch. Remember to stay strictly in the scientist's role. Don't take the test yourself. The Gamer The USAir Arena sits on the edge of the Beltway, old and dim, not much more than a big gymnasium. The Washington Bullets play here, often quite badly. They haven't made the playoffs in eight years. They were supposed to be better this year but have found ways to enforce the tradition of mediocrity. The arena is usually sold out--technically--but with plenty of empty seats, the signature of a town full of lawyers and big shots who aren't sure they want to be sports fans. But on Friday, Feb. 21, everything was different. A strange and powerful gravitational force surrounded that stale and unloved arena that night. People swarmed the access road outside, begging for tickets. The mayor of Washington showed up, and the coach of the Redskins, and then, to snarl traffic once and for all, the president of the United States came rolling up in his motorcade. Clinton took his seat with little fanfare. No one played "Hail to the Chief." The crowd applauded politely. The real action was over in the corner, outside the locker room of the Chicago Bulls. Fans were straining at the railings of the stands. Eyes were riveted on the locker room's exit. No one dared look away. The great one was about to emerge. When he finally appeared, people did not clap--they shouted, screamed, as guards told them to back off. "Michael! Michael!" Michael Jordan didn't look up. His head was bowed as he jogged toward the court. Everywhere he goes, people shout his name. He has mastered the art of not noticing them. Jordan is smoother than everyone else--his movements, his skin, the top of his shaved head. He looks polished. Next to Jordan, the other Bulls are big slabs of meat with protruding limbs. Luc Longley: a human ham hock. Dennis Rodman: all knuckles and knees and elbows and tattoos and nose rings and yellow hair. For Rodman, every night's a full moon. On the radio the other day, sportswriter Frank Deford called Jordan "our Lindbergh." (Was Lindbergh really that good? What was his percentage from three-point range?) This night at the USAir Arena, the sportswriters kept looking at Jordan and saying, "He's Babe Ruth." Like Ruth, Jordan so exceeds the norm as to be an anomaly. Ruth didn't just hit more home runs than anyone else. He hit a lot more home runs than anyone else. How did he do it? OK, he was strong, he used a big, heavy bat, and he had an elegant uppercut swing. But the formula for "greatest-ever" is always mysterious. You can't reduce it to any obvious variables. You just say a god walked among us. Jordan is 34 years old, borderline geriatric, and he still leads the league in scoring, racking up nearly 31 points a game, while the next-highest scorer averages only about 26. How does Jordan do it? He's got that Babe Ruth stuff. The god force. We just have to watch and wonder. For the national anthem Jordan rocked from one leg to the other, still staring at the floor in front of him, while nearby the president lustily sang--or at least moved his mouth dramatically so that even fans across the arena could see him singing. Seconds after tipoff, Jordan launched a turnaround jumper, his new signature shot, hitting nothing but net. That proved to be the anomaly for the next three quarters of the game. Jordan missed a shot, and then he missed four more shots, and he threw the ball out of bounds, and he got slapped with two fouls, and by the end of the first quarter he had stunk up the joint. He had five measly points while his sidekick, Scottie Pippen, had scorched the Bullets for 17. The sportswriters had a potential story line: Jordan might not be the high scorer on his team for the third consecutive game, something that hasn't happened in years. Was Jordan slipping? Were we seeing it tonight? The sportswriters were tapping on their laptops. In a night game, you have to write as the game progresses. It might be too soon to write the end-of-an-era story, but one could hint at it, start practicing the inevitable eulogy. Jordan kept struggling. At one point, he'd taken 14 shots and hit only four. By the end of the third quarter, he'd cobbled together 18 sloppy points to Pippen's authoritative 28. The Bulls were winning by 11 points, but the Bullets were hanging tough. Jordan had been outplayed by their Calbert Cheaney, a streaky player. Then the fourth quarter began. The fourth quarter is Jordan Time. Jordan got free on a fast break. He streaked down the right side of the court, took a pass, veered toward the bucket, and went airborne. The tongue emerged. When the tongue comes out, fans stand up to watch. Jordan, flying, wore a face of absolute manic rage. The dunk was apocalyptic. It was the kind of dunk you wouldn't want a small child to see. It was as though Jordan was funneling all his frustration into a single thermonuclear jam. The fans of both teams roared. The Bullets called a timeout, knowing they'd have no chance if Jordan caught fire. A minute later Jordan hit a pull-up jumper. Then he hit another. One of the young Bullets, Jaren Jackson, tried to smother Jordan and prevent him from getting the ball. Jordan knew what to do: Cheat a little. With his left hand Jordan almost imperceptibly held Jackson--this showed up on the television replay--and then dashed past him toward the hoop, taking a pass and launching himself for a two-handed dunk, hanging on the rim an extra second to make sure everyone knew who was in charge. The next time down the court Jordan hit a wide-open three-point shot. The Bullets kept assigning different players to cover him, but Jordan seemed to be emitting some kind of paralysis beam. Even Jordan's teammates were rooted in place. The game plan was, "Pass it to Jordan." Jordan hit an impossible 15-foot turnaround jumper. Jordan hit foul shots. Jordan hit another three-pointer. Jordan juked right, shook his man, dashed right past 7-foot-7 Gheorghe Muresan, and burgled the backboard for an easy layup. Jordan hit six shots in a row, missed one, then hit again, at which point he was laughing. He knew what everyone else in the arena was thinking: Jordan had done it again! Impossible! A 34-year-old geezer! The paralysis beam still works. Statisticians insist there is no such thing as a "hot hand" in basketball, that accurate shots distribute themselves in random patterns, that just the fact that a player has made several shots in a row does not increase the likelihood that he will make the next one. So we are to believe that Jordan's feat this night--his ability to seize a game and absolutely dominate it in the fourth quarter when everything is on the line--is a fluke. What the statisticians don't realize is that some things in life aren't logical, and that the Jordan phenomenon is one of them. He scored 18 points in the fourth quarter, 36 for the game, making him the high scorer. The Bulls won 103-99. "There's no way Michael was going to let the Bulls lose in front of the president," Johnny Red Kerr, a Hall of Famer and former Bulls coach, said outside the locker room. There has been talk in recent days about human cloning, and you repeatedly hear people mention the idea of cloning Michael Jordan. The New York Times cited the idea of a Jordan clone in its lead editorial. Such talk robs Jordan of his due. It subtly suggests that he is just a "natural athlete" who merely has to walk onto the court and let his DNA take over. The fact is, Jordan's greatest gift is in his head. He dominates the game at 34 even though he can no longer out-quick and out-jump and out-dunk his opponents. When he came into the league he was strictly a slasher, relying on speed and a 42-inch vertical leap. He wasn't considered a top-flight shooter. Now he has this deadly turnaround jumper and routinely hits three-pointers. What do you call someone who changes his game, his style, his tactics, and still comes out on top? A genius. (Come to think of it, didn't Babe Ruth start out as a pitcher?) Like that politician sitting in the stands, Jordan is compulsively competitive. When you apply the lessons of their successes to your life, you get caught short, because the rest of us don't want it that badly. Jordan has to win at everything, at cards, at tennis, at golf (he has lost hundreds of thousands gambling at that game). After the death of his father, Jordan took up the doomed mission of becoming a professional baseball player. "He had balls the size of an elephant to fail in public in another sport," my colleague Tony Kornheiser said before the Bulls game. Bob Greene reports that Jordan--the greatest basketball player of all time--was motivated by a sports fantasy: that he'd be batting for the White Sox in his first professional baseball game, and would hit a home run, round the bases and, never stopping running, just head straight from home plate to the tunnel leading out of the stadium, disappearing in front of the awed crowd. As the USAir Arena emptied out, the sportswriters gathered outside the Bulls' locker room. The president of the United States suddenly appeared a short distance away, heading toward his limo. He saw the press and, for a moment, seemed to be coming toward us. Then he stopped, and just stared. One could imagine that he felt a little hurt when he realized that we didn't want to talk to him. No one even shouted a question. He boarded the limo and left. We went into the locker room, and soon Jordan emerged, already dressed in a perfectly pressed olive suit, his tie knotted tight at the stiff collar of a white shirt. Jordan always dresses this way in public. A professional. "I totally hadn't found my rhythm the first three quarters," Jordan said. "When I found it, things started to click." Sweat popped out on his head in the close-up glare of television lights. Reporters pressed him up against the little wire cage that passes for a locker. He obliged every question, then stepped outside to sign a few autographs. His agent, David Falk, said his client would play as long as he meets his own standards. He'd decide year by year. He's a free agent after this season and if the Bulls want him back they'll have to pay the big money. This year Falk got Jordan $30 million. Next year? Falk wouldn't say what it would take. How would one ever calculate such a thing? Some things are beyond money, beyond numbers. How much would you pay the amber fields, the purple mountains? Someone asked Jordan if he'd stick around town the next day to watch his alma mater, North Carolina, play Maryland. It was a huge game in college basketball. He shook his head. "I got a job to do." Jordan drives to the hoop in Game 2 of the 1991 NBA Championship Series against the Los Angeles Lakers (30 seconds; video only) : No. 304: "Hee, Hee, Hee" You give the lead, I give the headline from Wednesday's London Mirror : "He's Huge, He's Powerful, He's Fast and He's Mean." Send your answer by noon ET Thursday to newsquiz@slate.com . Tuesday's Question (No. 303)--"Decline and Fall": "That was a miserable year, when I watched a great man, a man I love more than life--you know, one of the really fundamentally solid, decent people--go from 92 to 38 in a very quick period of time." Who watched whom go from 92 to 38 what? "Donny Osmond, on a good Mormon friend's year of 54 divorces."-- Tim Carvell "Former Chief Eunuch Li Ming on Emperor Pu-Yi's approval rating in 1911. Damn that infernal Sun Yat-Sen."-- David Lofquist "Gregory Peck about Charlton Heston's moving up the list of Hollywood's All-Time Assholes."-- Marshall Efron "I don't know, but in the metric system he would have gone from 100 to 10: Now, really, isn't that a lot easier?"-- Floyd Elliot "During his father's primary campaign, George W. Bush watched Pat Buchanan go from 1992 to 1938, the heyday of Father Coughlin, dragging the Republican Party with him. Now the party is trying to prevent him from jumping ship. Just because you're repositioning yourself as compassionate, doesn't mean you want to lose the wacko vote altogether."-- Daniel Radosh Click for more answers. Randy's Wrap-Up If Microsoft does succeed in its takeover of Mattel, an unlikely event given that no such talks are in progress or even contemplated, these News Quiz Action Figures will be hitting Toys "R" Us just in time for some annual event traditionally cheapened by ritualized gift-giving stripped of any genuine feeling. You know, for the kids. Reagan, the senile old fool Quayle, the self-deceiving, middle-aged dunce Clinton, the horny hillbilly, and what a liar! Dole, the foxy grampaw--how comical are the erections of his withered old penis! Madonna, the indiscriminate erotic glutton; how often she has sex! Thurmond, the 1,000-year-old man who still owns slaves Flockhart, the brittle underweight neurotic, yet still somehow appealing, in a tense yet vulnerable way Enjoy their adventures every week on C-SPANimation Saturday. Poll-Tested Answer George W. Bush endured a dark night of the soul when he watched his father's approval rating fall from 92 to 38. Beating a Dead Fish Follow-Up "Most trout fishermen practice 'catch and release,' although it is true that some still catch and eat. Barbaric isn't it? Almost as bad as running cows down a chute and hammering their brains out."-- Brad Spencer (Actually, for my weekend recreation, I practice "run them down a chute and hammer their brains out and release." Right into my neighbor's yard. Suckers!-- Ed .) Publishing Notes Extra The cover of the new Paladin Press catalog (Vol. 29, No. 5, September) features this notice: "WARNING: Paladin Press does not intend that any of the information contained in its books or videos be used for criminal purposes. In specific cases involving such misuse, Paladin will cooperate with law enforcement investigations." I believe a similar notice appears on the current Knopf catalog. Just inside, on Page 3, is this announcement: "EXPLOSIVE BOOKS NO LONGER AVAILABLE. In light of the current political and legal climate in this country, we have concluded that it is no longer feasible to publish or sell certain titles on explosives, demolitions, improvised weaponry, and self-defense, or anything by that quirky but lovable Anne Tyler." "We didn't really include the Anne Tyler crack," they would have added, if they had a sense of humor and, you know, added things. Clarification The Hard Rock Cafe does not serve its customers poorly prepared food made with inferior ingredients; the Hard Rock Cafe has no customers. Common Denominator Bob Dole/Viagra, same as every other quiz. The Business of Net Campaigns Twelve years ago I worked at a small, left-leaning think tank in New York City. As the 1988 presidential primary election approached, we thought the voters might want to differentiate between the various candidates. So we drew up 15 questions, covering everything from reflagging oil tankers in the Persian Gulf (a hot issue at the time) to gay and lesbian rights. We then mailed letters to the dozen or so declared candidates from both parties and requested position statements from their campaigns. We deliberately cc'd the issues managers, figuring that this clever move would expedite the responses. It didn't. The Republicans practically ignored us. The Democrats had to be wooed, cajoled, and mildly threatened before they coughed up their answers. Ultimately, we printed a decent-sized booklet and sold several thousand copies at $10 apiece. It was a modest contribution to the cause of an informed electorate, and it yielded an equally modest return on the investment of our 100 or so hard-worked hours. Today it would take just a couple of hours for a person with a Web connection and a printer to produce a similar document for the 2000 presidential race. Each of the declared presidential candidates maintains a sophisticated Web site that details positions on a wide range of critical issues. (Granted, if you visit http://gopatgo2000.org, click on "Issues," and read Pat Buchanan's statement on the environment, you may find the air a bit thin. But this is presidential politics, and vague positions are hardly unique to cyberspace.) As with other areas of the Net, e-mail is the great connector. Any campaign can now take a press release that at one time would have gone to a few dozen political reporters and e-mail it to tens of thousands, even millions, of Internet users. That remarkable development helps to bind a portion of the electorate more tightly to the campaigns. But we're still talking about a press release, and any reporter will tell you that the value of such releases is inversely proportional to the volume received. That's just one illustration of how the Net's contributions to American Democracy remains nascent and hard to define. While the 2000 campaign will be the first presidential contest in which the Web plays a significant role, it is unclear how profound that role will be (see Jacob Weisberg's accompanying piece, ""). One of the premises of the Standard is that the Internet has seeped into and changed every important business in the United States--and will soon have the same effect around the world. Politics is not exempt. Although it's all too often overlooked as a business, American politics is a multibillion-dollar industry that employs millions. So it's the Standard 's job to cover how the Internet will shape it. And that's the mandate for our once-a-week contribution to "Net Election." Politics Meets E-commerce What does politics-as-Net-business mean? In the most salient case, campaigns themselves are businesses (albeit short-lived ones that cannot legally make a profit). As of mid-July, more than six months before anyone could cast a vote for Bill Bradley, the former basketball star had raised more than $240,000 through his Web site. That's only about 2 percent of his contributions. But the site wasn't operational until January. Moreover, it wasn't until June that the federal government said it would match online credit card contributions with public funds, just as it matches money raised the old-fashioned way. With that decision, every campaign has been rethinking its Internet fund-raising strategies. We'll be closely examining their renewed efforts. One question that leaps to mind is, "Are there viable forms of e-commerce that play off of a political audience?" To date, the answer is essentially no. Sure, you can connect to the Arizona Democratic Party's online gift shop. But how many donkey Beanie Babies do you think have been sold there? eBay is not yet disturbed. Still, the tip of political e-commerce is beginning to poke up through the Web's surface. In May, Texas Gov. George W. Bush tried to quash the parody site www.gwbush.com, saying infamously, "There ought to be limits to freedom." The result? The site got 6 million hits in a month. Net logic holds that eyeballs equal dollars, and sure enough the controversial site was soon peddling T-shirts and bumper stickers featuring Bush's quote. Another site looking to cash in on the campaign is www.gore2000.com . It's not officially affiliated with the Gore campaign, but the site sells a wide array of Gore paraphernalia--everything from buttons to gourmet coffee. And it gives a package of free collectibles to any Webmaster who picks up its banner. Online Advertising Gets Political The Internet has already begun to transform the general advertising industry, and it will soon hold sway over the tens of millions of dollars spent every electoral season on television and radio ads. Web advertising holds the strange position of being almost entirely unregulated. Fraud and defamation laws presumably apply to Net advertising, just as they do to all advertising. But the specific sections of communications law that constrain political speech in the electronic media--including provisions for equal time for all candidates--do not apply to the Internet. Consider how such loopholes can alter the electronic media landscape: Each weekday, Steve Forbes records a brief commentary about his pertinent issues. The Forbes campaign claims that more than 160 stations in 45 states "carry" this commentary. (Just because they carry it, of course, doesn't mean they actually play it five times a week.) According to federal regulations, beginning 45 days before a primary, any radio station that carries a prepared audio message from a presidential candidate is required to give equal time to any other candidate who requests it. As a practical matter, most radio stations in that situation would simply drop the Forbes editorials. But his Web site can continue to pump out a Netcast with no interference. Changes like these should spur "Net piggybacking" throughout the 2000 race. Here's how it works: Say a candidate is adamantly opposed to any form of new taxes, regardless of whether they are advocated by the opponent. So the candidate crafts a 15-second TV spot that does not directly attack her opponent but warns viewers of an ominous, high-tax future and instructs them to punch up www.nonewtaxes.com, where they'll find a complete history of the opponent's record on taxation. Viewers might be asked to fill out petitions with their ZIP codes and e-mail addresses, which would be used to alert them to the ad's next installment. These techniques have already been used in a number of Senate and congressional campaigns. Finally, we'll also be watching the Net polling, Net focus groups, and Net organizing that follow the flow of money around an election. Our goal, shared with editorial partner Slate , is to capture the way the unfolding 2000 presidential race looks from the Web. Whether you're a political junkie or not, we hope you'll find Net Election informative, enlightening, and fun. At least, as much fun as presidential politics will allow. A Good Year for the Roses? Early in American Beauty , Lester Burnham (Kevin Spacey), a weary reporter for a media magazine, masturbates in the shower while informing us in voice-over that we're witnessing the highlight of his day. He peers through tired eyes out the window at his manicured suburban tract-house lawn, where his wife, Carolyn (Annette Bening)--whose gardening clogs, he points out, are color-coordinated with the handles of her shears--snips roses (American beauties) and twitters about Miracle-Gro to a gay yuppie (Scott Bakula) on the other side of a white picket fence. "I have lost something," says Lester. "I'm not exactly sure what it is but I know I didn't always feel this ... sedated." Apparently, Lester doesn't realize that snipped roses are garden-variety symbols of castration, or he'd know what he has lost. But the makers of American Beauty are about to give Lester his roses back. At a high-school basketball game, Lester is transfixed by a blonde cheerleader named Angela (Mena Suvari), who is twirling alongside his daughter, Jane (Thora Burch). Ambient noise falls away, the crowd disappears, and there she is, Lester's angel, writhing in slow motion--just for him. She opens her jacket (she's naked underneath) and red rose petals drift out. Later, Lester envisions her on a bed of red petals, then immersed in a bath of red petals. Back in the roses for the first time in years, he's soon pumping iron, smoking pot, and telling off his frigid wife and faceless bosses, convinced that whatever he has lost he's getting back, baby. The movie is convinced, too--which is odd, since the fantasy of an underage cheerleader making a middle-aged man's wilted roses bloom is a tad ... primitive. But American Beauty doesn't feel primitive. It feels lustrously hip and aware, and a lot of critics are making big claims for it. The script, by Alan Ball, a playwright and former sitcom writer, carries an invigorating blast of counterculture righteousness, along with the kind of pithily vicious marital bickering that makes some viewers (especially male) say, "Yeah! Tell that bitch off!" More important, it has a vein of metaphysical yearning, which the director, Sam Mendes, mines brilliantly. A hotshot English theater director (his Cabaret revival is still on the boards in New York), Mendes gives the film a patina of New Age lyricism and layer upon layer of visual irony. The movie's surface is velvety and immaculate--until the action is abruptly viewed through the video camera of the teen-age voyeur next door (Wes Bentley), and the graininess of the video image (along with the plangent music) suggests how unstable the molecules that constitute our "reality" really are. Mendes can distend the real into the surreal with imperceptible puffs. Aided by his cinematographer, Conrad Hall, and editors, Tariq Anwar and Chris Greenbury, he creates an entrancing vision of the American nuclear family on the verge of a meltdown. A merican Beauty is so wittily written and gorgeously directed that you might think you're seeing something archetypal--maybe even the Great American Movie. But when you stop and smell the roses ... Well, that scent isn't Miracle-Gro. The hairpin turns from farce to melodrama, from satire to bathos, are fresh and deftly navigated, but almost every one of the underlying attitudes is smug and easy: from the corporate flunky named "Brad" to the interchangeable gay neighbors (they're both called "Jim") to the brutally homophobic patriarch next door, an ex-Marine colonel (Chris Cooper) who has reduced his wife (the normally exuberant Allison Janney) to a catatonic mummy and his son, Ricky (Bentley), to a life of subterranean deception. (The colonel's idea of bliss is watching an old Ronald Reagan military picture on television: How's that for subtle?) Lester's wife, Carolyn, is even more stridently caricatured. A real-estate broker who fails to sell a big house (her only potential customers are blank-faced African-Americans, Indian-Americans, and surly lesbians), she wears a mask of perky efficiency and insists on listening to Muzak while she and her husband and daughter eat her "nutritious yet savory" dinners. It's amazing that Mendes and Ball get away with recycling so many stale and reactionary ideas under the all-purpose rubric of "black comedy." But it's also possible that those ideas have rarely been presented so seductively. Several months ago, Daniel Menaker in Slate in contemporary film in which the protagonist attempts to break through our cultural and technological anesthetization into "the real." That's the theme here, too, and it's extraordinarily potent, at times even heartbreaking. The symbols, however, have been cunningly reversed. In movies like sex, lies, and videotape (1989), the protagonist has to put away the video camera to "get real"; in American Beauty , it's Ricky Fitts, the damaged stoner videomaker next door, who sees beauty where nonartists see only horror or nothingness. In the film's most self-consciously poetic set piece, Ricky shows Lester's dour daughter Jane--in whom he recognizes a kindred spirit--a video of a plastic bag fluttering up, down, and around on invisible currents of wind. Ricky speaks of glimpsing in the bag's trajectory an "entire life behind things"--a "benevolent force" that holds the universe together. The teen-ager, who likes to train his lenses on dead bodies of animals and people, sells wildly expensive marijuana to Lester and somehow passes on this notion of "beauty." By the end, Lester is mouthing the same sentiments and has acquired the same deadpan radiance. That must be some really good shit they're smoking. It's not the druggy philosophizing, however, that makes American Beauty an emotional workout. It's that the caricatures are grounded in sympathy instead of derision. Everyone on screen is in serious pain. The manipulative sexpot Angela, who taunts her friend Jane with the idea of seducing her dad, acts chiefly out of a terror of appearing ordinary. As the military martinet, Cooper goes against the grain, turning Col. Fitts into a sour bulldog whose capaciously baggy eyes are moist with sadness over his inability to reach out. (When he stands helplessly in the rain at the end, the deluge completes him.) The character of Carolyn is so shrill as to constitute a libel on the female sex, but there isn't a second when Bening sends the woman up. She doesn't transcend the part, she fills it to the brim, anatomizes it. You can't hate Carolyn because the woman is trying so hard--to appear confident, composed, in control. When she fails to sell that house, she closes the shades and lets go with a naked wail--it's the sound of a vacuum crying to be filled--then furiously slaps herself while sputtering, "Shut up--you're weak--shut up. " Then she breathes, regains her go-get-'em poise, replaces her mask. Carolyn isn't a complicated dramatic construction, but Bening gives her a primal force. An actress who packs more psychological detail into a single gesture than others get into whole scenes, Bening was barreling down the road to greatness before she hit a speed bump called Warren. It's a joy to observe her--both here and in Neil Jordan's In Dreams (1999)--back at full throttle. American Beauty is Spacey's movie, though. He gives it--how weird to write this about Spacey, who made his name playing flamboyantly self-involved psychopaths--a heart. Early on, he lets his face and posture go slack and his eyes blurry. He mugs like crazy, telegraphing Lester's "loserness." But Spacey's genius is for mugging in character. He makes us believe that it's Lester who's caricaturing himself , and that bitter edge paves the way for the character's later, more comfortably Spacey-like scenes of insult and mockery. He even makes us take Lester's final, improbably rhapsodic moments straight. But do the filmmakers take them straight? If I read it correctly, the movie is saying that American society is unjust and absurd and loveless--full of people so afraid of seeming ordinary that they lose their capacity to see. It's saying that our only hope is to cultivate a kind of stoned aesthetic detachment whereby even a man with his brains blown out becomes an object of beauty and a signpost to a Higher Power. But to scrutinize a freshly dead body and not ask how it got that way--or if there's anyone nearby with a gun who might want to add to the body count--strikes me as either moronic or insane or both. The kind of detachment the movie is peddling isn't artistic, it isn't life--it's nihilism at its most fatuous. In the end, American Beauty is New Age Nihilism. Kevin Costner is 11 years older than he was as Crash Davis, the over-the-hill minor-league catcher in Bull Durham (1988), but he can still get away with playing a professional ballplayer. He moves and acts like a celebrity jock, and he can make his narcissistic self-containment look as if he's keeping something in reserve--to protect his "instrument," as it were. In For Love of the Game , he's a 40ish Detroit Tigers pitcher having his last hurrah: The team has been sold and the new owners don't necessarily want him back. For about half an hour, it's a great sports movie. Costner stands on the mound shaking off the signals of his longtime catcher (John C. Reilly); he forces himself to tune out the huge Yankee Stadium crowd (the background blurs before our eyes and the sound drops out); and he mutters darkly at a succession of batters, some old nemeses, some old buddies. He also thinks about his Manhattan-based ex-girlfriend (Kelly Preston), who tearfully told him that morning that things were absolutely over and she was moving to London. There's an appealing flashback to how they met (he stopped to fix her car while on the way to Yankee Stadium), then it's back to the game for more nail-biting at bats. But pretty soon the relationship flashbacks start coming thick and fast, and the balance of the movie shifts to whether Kevin can commit to Kelly and Kelly can commit to Kevin or whether his only commitment could ever be to the ball and the diamond and the game. Maybe it's because I'm a baseball nut that I hated to leave the mound. But maybe it's also because the relationships scenes are soft-focus, generic, and woozily drawn-out, whereas the stuff in the stadium is sharply edited and full of texture. The rhythms of the game feel right; the rhythms of the romance feel embarrassingly Harlequin, and the picture drags on for over two hours. I can't believe that the director, Sam Raimi ( The Evil Dead , 1983; last year's A Simple Plan ) thought that all those scenes of Costner and Preston staring into space while the piano plinks would end up in the final cut, but Raimi apparently gave up control of the final cut for the sake of making his first, real mainstream picture. He might as well have stuck his head over the plate and said, "Bean me." Happy 50th Birthday--Hope You Die Soon New Republic , Oct. 11 The cover story rues the 50 th anniversary of the Chinese revolution. The expected horrors are invoked: the Cultural Revolution, the Great Leap Forward, the continuing anti-religious brutality of the Communist Party. ... As world population reaches 6 billion, an editorial calls for more investment in international family planning. Encouraging smaller family size will boost economic progress in the developing nations whose populations are still exploding. Economist , Oct. 1 The cover editorial reiterates the magazine's frequent warnings that the American economy is overheated. Rising consumer debt is a bad sign. Weak commodity demand and a strong dollar are staving off inflation, but the Fed should pre-emptively raise interest rates before the bubble bursts. ... An article remarks on South Africa's attempt to market itself to libertine tourists. Apartheid-era South Africa repressed homosexuals and suppressed the sex trade. Now Cape Town promotes itself as a gay-friendly city and welcomes sex tourists. George , October 1999 The hagiographic John Kennedy Jr. tribute issue includes excerpts of his writing, portraits of him with his interviewees, and an over-the-top photo of him bathed in golden light. The issue is stuffed with tribute ads, including shoemaker Kenneth Cole's: "How do we follow in his footsteps?" ... A countdown of the century's 100 great political moments includes dubious picks, such as the Brooklyn Dodgers' relocation to Los Angeles, and predictable ones: D-Day is No. 2 and Franklin Roosevelt's election is No. 1 Rolling Stone , Oct. 14 A sympathetic profile of Bill Bradley concludes that he is more sincere and more dignified than other politicians. For instance, Bradley refuses to offer regrets for past drug use and does not coo-coo at infants. ( Slate offers a less rosy view of Bradley's .) ... A biting narrative exposes life at an Ohio State sorority. Despite paeans to sisterhood and philanthropy, girls join sororities to binge-drink, hook up, and pursue their Mrs. degree. (For another insider view, read Slate 's sorority girl ".") New York Times Magazine , Sept. 26 An article describes the newest missile defense scheme--75-miles-per-minute space cannonballs. "Exoatmospheric Kill Vehicles" orbiting Earth would be programmed to collide with warheads. First step: Build the prototype. ... The cover essay reflects on hate, describing it as a personal psychological reaction to idiosyncratic experience. It cannot be outlawed. We can only overcome hate by refusing to give haters the attention they crave. Time , Sept. 27 The cover package tweaks second-wave Silicon Valley entrepreneurs--business-school grads lured by lucre rather than a passion for the Web. ... Yet another startup saga sketches how a 27-year-old M.B.A. student developed a Web-business idea: He set up a site, which uses an algorithm to tell guys where to take a date, by convincing venture capitalists to front money, hiring tech experts to write code, working 17-hour days, and bedecking his offices with inspirational quotes. ... An article alleges that envoys from the Bush campaign have pressured Minnesota Gov. Jesse Ventura to obstruct Pat Buchanan's run for the Reform Party nomination. Donald Trump is the preferred roadblock, because his candidacy could attract Democratic supporters. Newsweek , Sept. 29 Fetal programming determines adult health, according to the cover story . Studies show that low birth-weight babies may have a high risk of developing diabetes, and prenatal trauma can impede brain development. The link between womb conditions and adult health undermines studies that suggest disease has genetic roots. ... An article warns that Hurricane Floyd might be dwarfed by future storms. The past 30 years of meteorological quiescence is giving way to a period of hyperhurricanes because of a change in oceanic conditions and global warming. (According to "," the British press blamed Floyd on excessive U.S. consumption.) U.S. News & World Report , Sept. 27 The cover excerpt provides a reverent portrait of Pope John Paul II. The pontiff is credited with inspiring the collapse of communism in Eastern Europe, persuading liberal democracies that freedom must be girded by public morality, and opening a dialogue with other religious leaders. (Click for a Slate "Assessment" of the pope.) ... An article probes George W. Bush's vulnerability on the firearms issue. Bush's pro-gun positions (he barred the prosecution of people who bring guns to churches that don't specifically forbid arms-toting) might hurt him in a nationwide election. ... A profile marvels at the campaign-trail candor of Sen. John McCain. He recalls his Vietnamese captors as "goddamn gooks," tells gay jokes, and reminds reporters that he once called Chelsea Clinton ugly. The New Yorker , Sept. 27 An essay bewails the absence of "political pizzazz" in presidential campaigning. Since the electorate is relatively sanguine, the candidates are relatively lethargic. The public longs for a deft campaigner who doesn't seem prepackaged. ... A profile praises Nobel Prize-winning novelist Gabriel Garcia Marquez's efforts to heal his country, as he struggles to overcome lymphatic cancer. Colombia's most-beloved figure convinced his friend Fidel Castro to push leftist guerrillas toward the peace table and convinced the United States that Cuba's hidden hand was necessary. Weekly Standard , Sept. 27 An editorial skewers Pat Buchanan for betrayal. Buchanan is shoe-horning himself into the Reform Party solely because of its eligibility for $13 million in matching funds. If Buchanan bolts, Republicans will have a golden opportunity to define themselves against Pat's brand of pitchfork conservatism. ... A review of Buchanan's new book condemns its defense of "America First" foreign policies. Buchanan honors Charles Lindbergh as a heroic voice of isolationism and outrageously argues that the West instigated war with the Nazi regime. ASK PRUDENCE Beginning this week, Prudence, drawing on her rich experience of life, will answer questions submitted by readers. She will respond to questions about manners, personal relations, politics, economics, and other subjects. Questions should be sent to Prudence@slate.com. They should not exceed 200 words in length. Please indicate how you wish your letter to be signed, preferably including your location. Dear Prudence, In the past, when escorting a young woman to my automobile after, say, coming out of a restaurant, I would unlock the passenger-side door for her first before walking around to the driver's side. On modern cars with power locks, however, unlocking the driver's-side door automatically unlocks all other doors. This innovation makes first unlocking her door a superfluous and illogical gesture. Where do you come down on this question of chivalry vs. logic? Is it insulting to unlock her door first when we both know it's unnecessary? Sincerely, Lovelocked Dear Lovelocked, There is no conflict here between chivalry and logic. Chivalry requires not only that you unlock the door but also that you open the door for her, hold her arm to help her enter, see that the edge of her skirt has been removed from the door frame, and then close the door. Helping her enter can also be the occasion for sweetly kissing her on the cheek. Modern gadgets will not do all that, and real men don't want them to. Something has to be left for the men to do. Anyway, the idea of a conflict between chivalry and logic is mistaken. Chivalrous gestures, even though not utilitarian at one level, have a utilitarian logic at another level. Chivalrous gestures are a means of communication, and that is useful. When you hold the door for the girl, even though she is quite capable of doing it for herself, you are communicating the fact that you care about her and want to be her helper. Unless you are a great poet, it may be the best way you have of communicating those sentiments to her. Which gestures communicate what changes over time, as does other language. In my time, at least, holding the door communicated respect or affection or some other favorable emotion--depending on the personalities involved. What holding the door for your girlfriend communicates is different from what holding it for your mother-in-law does. --Prudence Dear Prudence, Ever since Seymour Hersh's book came out detailing the raw side of Jack Kennedy and the dark side of Camelot, I've been wondering what JFK did in today's context that warrants an eternal flame at Arlington National Cemetery. While there are few precedents anywhere in the world for eternal flames to honor individuals, there are even fewer precedents for turning them off once ignited. I don't suppose many would argue that JFK has greater stature than Washington or Lincoln, so isn't it a little silly to honor JFK in so unique a fashion? What, if anything, can be done that doesn't come across as overtly partisan or anti-Kennedy? --Troubled in Arlington Dear Troubled in Arlington, To snuff out the JFK flame at Arlington National Cemetery would be more trouble than it is worth. What is important is the flame of admiration and affection for JFK that burns in the hearts of many Americans. When that flame burns out, as I think it soon will, the flame in the cemetery will not matter. No one will go to it except to roast marshmallows. People flock to the Lincoln Memorial because they revere Lincoln as a man who rose from humble origins to become president of the United States, save the Union, free the slaves, and write some of the most profound and moving words in the English language. If the same marble structure in the same place were dedicated to William McKinley, no one would go there. In a prime location opposite the White House is a statue of Andrew Jackson on a horse. Thousands of people pass it every day, but no one stops to look at it. It will be the same with the JFK flame, in time. --Prudence Dear Prudence, Christmas was 25 days away when a fair number of my neighbors had already placed lights around their homes and fully decorated their trees. I like to think of myself as somewhat festive, but why has Christmas turned into a full-month affair? What can we do to keep this holiday from becoming the national bore? --Scrooge Dear Scrooge, Reread your life story in A Christmas Carol . If you have no problem more serious than boredom with an excess of Christmas, you are fortunate indeed. --Prudence, tolerantly ASK PRUDENCE Prudence, drawing on her rich experience of life, will answer questions submitted by readers. She will respond to questions about manners, personal relations, politics, economics, and other subjects. Questions should be sent to Prudence@slate.com. They should not exceed 200 words in length. Please indicate how you wish your letter to be signed, preferably including your location. Dear Prudence, At what point, and how, should one tell one's new boyfriend about one's medical history? (And it's not the history you may think.) Bluntly put, when does he need to know about the Prozac I take every morning? It's easy enough to tell acquaintances that the reason I'm not having a beer at the office party is that I'm "on some medication," and leave it at that. Is a more detailed explanation needed for a more continuous relationship? Or should I just assume he'll find the bottle in the medicine cabinet when he gets a headache? --Not D/D-free in D.C. Dear D/D, A lot depends on what you mean by a "more continuous relationship." If you mean that you will be with this man daily, or almost daily, for a significant period, with the possibility that it will be for the rest of your lives, you should certainly tell him. You will both be more free with each other if he knows. You will not have to try to hide your condition or make up false explanations of it. He will understand you better if he knows. He will know to try to avoid exacerbating your condition and may be able to help alleviate it by sympathetic and understanding behavior. If he can't accept that, you should consider whether you want a "more continuous relationship" with him. --Prudence, openly Dear Prudence, Won't you come out to play? --Mark TullyMadison, Maine Dear Beatles Fan, I am at play right now. Play is activity engaged in for the enjoyment of it without regard to the financial remuneration. My remuneration is so trivial that what I am doing qualifies as play. --Prudence, playfully Dear Prudence, I had a youthful indiscretion and was married to a woman for six months almost 18 years ago. In July of this year, I received a phone call from a young woman who professed to be my daughter. When we divorced, I knew her mom was pregnant, but through the lawyers I was told the unborn baby belonged to her first husband. In fact, out of the blue one day she left me and remarried him. This young woman, whom I met in person over Thanksgiving, is undoubtedly my child. But, she's a very troubled and angry young woman. She has been abused sexually, emotionally; was put out of her home at age 12 by her mother; has been pregnant but suffered a miscarriage. Beginning at age 15, she had an affair for almost two years with a 35-year-old married man; has attempted suicide some three times; was hospitalized for psychiatric problems for three months; was arrested for assault and is currently on probation; and the list goes on. My advice to her was that she needed to deal with her anger and learn to love herself before she could even begin to think about loving me, her half brother, and half sister. She said some pretty mean things to me while she was here. I requested that we not have a relationship unless and until she gets herself some help. I am totally disabled with a spinal-cord disease and I have limited emotional, financial, and physical capabilities. Did I do the right thing? --Hopeless in the SoutheastSanford, Fla. Dear It's Not Hopeless, What a sad story! But I think you are shortchanging your daughter and yourself. I accept what you say about having limited financial and physical capabilities. I don't think you are right about having limited emotional capabilities. You should not cut off your relationship with her but rather should offer her sympathy, understanding, love, and companionship. It will be hard. Obviously, after the life she has led she is going to say some mean things. She may feel that the absence of her natural father during her 18 years, however well that might be explained, contributed to her present condition. Treating her lovingly will not only be helpful to her. It will also be helpful to you. The emotional capabilities you describe as limited will grow as they are used. You may not be able to sustain this attitude, but it will be worth a very hard try. --Prudence, hopefully Drawing upon her rich experience of life, Prudence (Prudie to her friends) responds to questions about manners, personal relations, politics, and other subjects. Please send your questions for publication to Prudence@slate.com. Queries should not exceed 200 words in length. Please indicate how you wish your letter to be signed, preferably including your location. Dear Prudie, I have no problem of a personal nature at the moment. What I do have is a societal irritation. Not only the young but also adults who are professional broadcasters have taken to ending declarative sentences as though they were questions. Have you heard this irritating "modernization"? How did experienced radio and TV people of both genders turn into Valley Girls, and do you know where this annoying development came from? --Earache in Atlanta Dear Ear, Prudie is relieved that you are not in distress of a personal nature and hopes it is some comfort to you that she herself regards this way of speaking as revolting? It is called "up talk," and if Prudie knew its instigator she would slowly twist his question mark until it hurt. This raising of the voice at the end of a declarative sentence is the unfortunate result of trying to fluff up something that needs no fluffing: correct speech. --Prudie, declaratively Dear Prudie, Are you hearing anything about Viagra from your readers? Do you have any thoughts on the subject? --Leonard in Portland Dear Len, Prudie is hearing a great deal about Viagra--but mercifully not from her readers. As for Prudie's thoughts, she is sick of the subject, and to distract herself from the pharmacological drama going on she is entertained by imagining the drug being given to Dr. Judah Folkman's mice. Do not misunderstand. People of good will cannot begrudge those in genuine need, but the V pill is on its way to becoming a recreational drug, thereby creating ersatz libido, and thereby creating God only knows what problems. Prudie also thinks the name unfortunate, sounding, as it does, like the well-known fertilizer. --Prudie, dismissively Dear Prudence, I need to know how to ask if someone is pregnant without giving offense if they're not. A casual (married) acquaintance of mine appears to be showing but not in a manner in which one can be certain. I suppose I could wait her out, but I want to start gossiping as soon as possible. --Love,Naturally Curious in Washington Dear Nat, Prudie once made the mistake of asking the question you have in mind. My unfortunate query elicited this response: "I have a problem with my weight, and you have just ruined my day." The only possibilities other than baby are obesity or a tumor--neither of which needs remarking on. And your use of the words "casual acquaintance" makes Prudie certain that you should ask no questions and put the gossip on hold. --Prudie, privately Dear Prudie, I can hardly believe I am having this problem in this day and age. I am in my late 20s and in a serious relationship. We are discussing marriage, but he has one concern: his mother's, shall we say, "views." It seems my maybe-future mother-in-law is all caught up in ancestors, social pedigree, and similarly irrelevant issues. My boyfriend is afraid she will not welcome me with open arms out of fear her son will wind up out of the Social Register. What is to be done? --No DAR Dear No, Prudie has zero tolerance for this kind of thinking and, as a matter of fact, has always considered the Social Register the American Kennel Club for humans. Your immediate determination is whether your beau shares his mother's views. If he is afraid of her disapproval, he will surely be substandard husband material. If he is not wholeheartedly in your corner on this one, say adios and look for someone who will not regard you as the little match girl. --Prudie, democratically G.W. Bush vs. gwbush.com The slogan on George W. Bush's Web site is "Prosperity With a Purpose." The slogan on Zach Exley's parody of George W. Bush's Web site, gwbush.com , is "Hypocrisy With Bravado." Exley means to mock the contradiction between Bush's presumed use of drugs and his support of harsh prison sentences for drug offenders today. But he might have an even better case based on the way the Bush campaign has harassed him. Bush and his lawyers are demanding the meticulous enforcement against Exley of minor campaign finance rules--rules they themselves consider dated and ridiculous. In May, a Bush campaign lawyer named Benjamin Ginsberg filed a complaint against gwbush.com with the Federal Election Commission. In it, Ginsberg contends that the parody site constitutes an "independent expenditure" under federal election law. In other words, Bush is arguing that Exley's Web site--a one-man operation started on a lark--should fall into the same legal category as the Willie Horton ads run against Michael Dukakis in 1988. The intimidating letter further warns that if Exley, a free-lance computer programmer in Boston, has spent more than $1,000 on his site, he must register it as a "political committee," which means filing an even more elaborate disclosure. For a Web site run by a private individual in his spare time, meeting these requirements would constitute a substantial burden. The complaint is hypocritical on a couple of counts. The first is that G.W. Bush himself has bought his own way out of some of the more onerous FEC disclosure requirements. Because his campaign is forgoing federal matching funds, it doesn't have to file quarterly disclosure statements electronically. That means that Bush's contribution reports remain essentially useless raw data for several weeks while those of his rivals are available for database searches. Bush also thinks that limits of $250 and $1,000, fixed in 1971, are anachronistically low and should be raised. Yet he is using these pre-inflation thresholds as the basis for his complaint. Even Bush's lawyer seems to question his own assault. "It's a fair question to ask whether the rules should cover him," Ginsberg says of Exley. In his response to Bush's complaint Exley rehearses the history of Bush's antagonism toward his site, citing W.'s infamous statement that "there ought to be limits to freedom." He points to a number of absurdities about his situation. "I appear to be caught in a catch 22; so far I have not spent over $250 per year on the Web site," he writes. "However, paying for legal advice would put me immediately over the FEC spending threshold, thereby validating Bush's complaint against me." This is a clever point. In fact, though, legal fees don't count toward the disclosure limits. What Exley's response misses is a much better argument for why the FEC should leave him alone: He's press. gwbush.com is one of the kinds of new media made possible by the Web. In fact, Exley instinctively thinks of it this way. "This is my private little magazine," he told me. If he wants to put his non-disclosure on a firm legal footing, Exley could ask the FEC for an advisory opinion to that effect--something the FEC has to rule on within six weeks instead of several years. And Exley would have a good case, since his site isn't anti-Bush propaganda so much as a wacky, Bush-averse take on the news. It links to Gore parody sites as well. The FEC will probably not be in any hurry to settle the matter if it can avoid doing so. The narrow issue of whether Exley's Web site constitutes an independent expenditure opens a much larger can of worms. It points to the reality that many of the old campaign finance laws simply don't make sense in cyberspace. Should someone who starts a site stating his views have to disclose where his money comes from in the way someone who buys a newspaper ad does? If a Web site itself counts as an in-kind contribution to a candidate, as an earlier FEC ruling indicates, a $1,000 spending limit may apply. And if hyperlinks count as contributions, as the FEC has also indicated, then corporations, labor organizations, and foreign nationals cannot legally link to official campaign sites. Many, if not most, of the key distinctions of campaign finance law simply dissolve when immersed in the Internet. The ethos of the Web argues against regulating private, individual activity in any way. And indeed, because the Web does much to create an open and level playing field for political expression, restraining it in the name of fairness seems counterproductive. The Center for Democracy and Technology recently published an excellent report on this topic, titled "Square Pegs and Round Holes: Applying the Campaign Finance Law to the Internet." It doesn't settle any of the specific questions about how campaign finance law should work in cyberspace. But it does make one thing damningly clear: The FEC is utterly unequipped to deal with them. Drawing upon her rich experience of life, Prudence (Prudie to her friends) responds to questions about manners, personal relations, politics, and other subjects. Please send your questions for publication to prudence@slate.com. Queries should not exceed 200 words in length. Please indicate how you wish your letter to be signed, preferably including your location. Dear Miss Prudence, I am recently married, and like most Southern girls, I have looked forward to being addressed as "Mrs." for some time. Imagine my surprise when I found that my mail, instead of being addressed to "Mrs. John Smith," is now being addressed to "Mrs. Amanda Smith." Since I always thought that form of address was reserved for divorced women, I'm a bit put out to have my new marriage so abruptly terminated, at least as it relates to correspondence. I'm assuming this is some misguided attempt to preserve my individuality, but if that were my goal I would have kept my maiden name. Am I completely misinformed? If not, how can I correct the problem? --Proudly, Mrs. John Smith (nee Hightower) Dear Proud, Prudie couldn't agree with you more--and she is on the other side of the Mason-Dixon line. Prudie also finds the appellation "Ms." ridiculous and crosses it out whenever possible, believing that single women are "Miss" and married ones are "Mrs." (The nice thing about divorce is that then you get to choose between the two forms of address.) As for correcting the problem, when a response is called for, cross out the offending form of your name and write in what you would prefer. Some mailings, often from charities, offer the choice of Miss, Mrs., or Ms. And of course your printed envelopes can say "Mrs. John Smith." As for mailings from entities such as Publishers Clearing House that frequently send material to dogs and toddlers, there is no recourse. --Prudie, salutatorally Dear Prudence, I have a little problem with my current Significant Other. We are both nearing 30, are educated, have good jobs, are reasonably attractive and intelligent. Each day together (it's been about 8 months now) has been wonderful and a many-splendored thing. The problem? I find my partner's politics reprehensible--in fact, stupid and barbaric. I haven't strenuously objected to my love's praise for people such as Tom DeLay and (I'm serious here) G. Gordon Liddy because of the terrific time we're having and the incredible sex we share. But I'm at the breaking point. It is hard to foresee a future with a person whose philosophy is akin to that of a cryptofascist clown. How do I break the news and let both of us keep our dignity, even if (s)he is a troglodyte? --Evolved in Santa Fe Dear Ev, Prudie can tell you are conflicted ... but not very. Just tell the cryptofascist clown troglodyte, I mean, your Significant Other, au revoir. Prudie agrees that your deep disagreement about character evaluation is bound, in the long run, to sink your love boat. Sex may come and sex may go, but Tom DeLay is liable to be around forever. Simply state your regret and wish him/her much happiness in the future. And perhaps the Young Democratic Club in Santa Fe might be worth a visit. --Prudie, politically Dear Prudie, A while back you had a letter about the bald black man being confused with another black man. He was more than annoyed and thought it was the old "all black people look alike." Well, I have a close friend, Pat, who is bald and wears a full beard and horn rim glasses. He tells me he is forever being mistaken for other bald, bearded men who wear glasses. Pat even once mistook such a man in a photograph for himself! Pat is a psychologist, and we had a very interesting conversation about this topic. He tells me that our brains store only a few visual traits about people with whom we are casually acquainted. Pat is "the bald, bearded, spectacle wearing guy." Sally is "the redheaded, long nosed, thin girl," etc. My wife changed her hairstyle from curly to straight and reported that while attending her annual professional association convention, she was shocked at the number of people who didn't recognize her. People who lose a lot of weight tell similar stories. This tendency explains the oft-noted phenomenon that whites think all blacks, Asians, etc., look alike. The problem is that they don't know enough people in those racial groups, so their brains will use race as the most distinctive characteristic about that person. They know so many white people that they classify them by other traits--such as shape of the face, hair color, body shape. Once they make the acquaintance of enough blacks or Asians, their brains will discontinue using race as an identifying visual characteristic. --Rick Lee Dear Rick, It was good of you (and Pat) to share an enlightened explanation for a widespread situation. It no doubt will smooth the ruffled feathers of many a person who's been mistaken for someone else--even a generic someone else. To support your point, Prudie is told that Dr. C. Everett Koop and Robert Bork say they are each taken for the other. --Prudie, gratefully It is trout season at Prudie's. Here are a couple of responses to Prudie's having quoted Thoreau. Dear Prudie, In a recent column you quoted Thoreau: "Some circumstantial evidence is very strong, as when you find a trout in the milk." I've heard this particular one before but was too embarrassed to admit that I didn't get it. Exactly what is this "circumstantial evidence" supposed to indicate? --Hoping for an Explanation Dear Hope, Basically, it is an encouragement to pay attention to circumstantial evidence. In this case, the evidence is strong that the trout didn't get there by accident--someone put it there--milk not being a natural habitat for fish. Though, perhaps, a deed is unobserved, its execution can sometimes be safely inferred from the facts. --Prudie, empirically Dear Prudie, Regarding "the trout in the milk" quote, bravo and bravissimo ! Well done, indeed. I'll beat my different drum in your honor tonight! --Tim B. Dear Tim, How kind and Thoreauly charming of you. --Prudie, appreciatively WWW.Dubya.Com SUBJECT: gwbush.com is just a cybersquatter FROM: Matt Maddox RE: DATE: Wed Sept 29 Actually, the article fails to include one critical fact: Zack Exley's Bush parody site was not set up to express opinions--or even to parody Bush. Exley is a cybersquatter who demanded $20K from the Bush campaign for the rights to the domain name. When they refused, he set up an anti-Bush site. The guy even claims to be non-partisan. This is just a case of electronic blackmail that the media blowhards want to turn into a free-speech case. (To respond, click here.) SUBJECT: G.W. Bush is the real cybersquatter FROM: Diane RE: DATE: Tue Sept 28 Personally, I think the Bush camp is acting like brats that didn't get everything they wanted at Christmas. As I'm sure y'all know, the Bush campaign purposely combatted the possibility of competing with mock spoof sites like gwbush.com by BUYING domain names (over 60 sites, from what I got from the Newsweek article). Some examples (and go ahead and try them): www.georgebushbites.com, www.georgebushblows.com, georgebushsucks.com, www.bushbites.com, www.bushsux.com. All these sites will automatically lead into George Dubbawya's Web site (www.georgewbush.com). Neat, huh? GWBush.com and another Zack Exley site squeaked by this, and since the campaign couldn't buy it, they decided to get rid of it. Funny, I thought that politics and campaigning were about freedom of speech and the ability to compete. The Bush campaign has a sweet monopoly on that. If you would like more information, you should go to the site that is actually handling this case: www.rtmark.com. It has everything from the cease and desist letter to any articles remote to the subject. (To respond, click here .) SUBJECT: "Analysis" from Slate 's adman FROM: Michael RE: DATE: Wed Sept 22 How ingenious of Slate to publish a sales pitch under the guise of analysis. This column is tantamount to having an ABC account exec go on World News Tonight to deliver a special report on why Drew Carey gives you more bang for your media buck. The impact of the Web on the campaign is a worthy topic, but a little more objectivity, please. (To respond, click here.) SUBJECT: The weatherman is just a middleman FROM: R. Wells RE: DATE: Mon Sept 27 Your comments about weather hysteria were generally right on, but I felt your comments about the role of the Web in promoting that hysteria missed the point. Access to weather information on the Web is a giant leap forward in weather media because it allows one to avoid the hype and hysteria with which the general news media covers extreme weather. Check out www.wunderground.com. The information is straightforward, but interestingly displayed. I could track Floyd, read Weather Service bulletins, and follow satellite images without having to suffer through moronic anchor-blondes screaming into microphones over the sound of the wind. Weather sites on the Web eliminate the media middleman, and isn't that the point? (To respond, click here.) SUBJECT: Conservatives w/ compassion are "wimps"? FROM: Mike RE: DATE: Thu Sept 23 A conservative shows genuine compassion and he gets called a wimp!? Maybe he should have called a news conference and told the wounded to "put some ice on it." Here's a news flash: Conservatives are human too. They have wives, children, pets; they love and make love, have gardens, go to church and make friends. (To respond, click here .) Witch Way Should They Go? Please send your questions for publication to prudence@slate.com. Dear Prudence, I read you often and now need advice. My son and his fiancee are getting married soon, and I have serious questions about the ceremony. My son is 28 and very successful. His fiancee is 26 and is a very intelligent, successful woman. They have been together many years, living together for the last three. The problem is not their relationship, but my son and his intended are both witches--that's right, witches--and they are having a "handfasting," a witchcraft wedding ceremony. My wife and I are devout Catholics, and it seems that going to a pagan ceremony goes against all our religious beliefs. Even one of the elder priests in our parish said it would be against God to attend such an event, though a younger priest said as long as we didn't take part in the ceremony, it would be OK. I know my son doesn't believe in Satan or evil. He's a very good boy, and I'm proud of him. He has even allowed me to read the ceremony that will be performed. Actually, it's just about the most beautiful ceremony I've ever read, but I'm very confused. Should I possibly go against my faith to support my son by attending a pagan rite, or should I alienate my son because of my own religious beliefs? Any advice would be appreciated. --Charles Dear Cha, Oh, my, talk about dilemmas ... your cauldron runneth over. Prudie, however, feels comfortable with the assessment of the younger priest, and you should, too. Since you're not participating in the actual ceremony and found nothing objectionable in the text, you and your wife should not deny this lovely son your presence. And Prudie hopes you appreciate the reversed roles in this situation: Usually, it's the mother-in-law who's the witch. --Prudie, matrimonially Dear Prudence, Your advice to "" struck me as amazing. From years of corporate bathroom use, the rule among men seems to be nothing spoken in the "sit-downs," banal comments of the "Hot enough for you?" variety at the "stand-ups," and pleasant trifles at the washstands. By the way, an old corporate pro once told me never to discuss anything of importance in a bathroom or an elevator. I once was in a courthouse elevator with the other side's counsel, who hadn't yet been introduced to me, who spent the ride down discussing strategy with his client! --Faithfully, Eyes Front Dear Eyes, Thank you for one of the better letters inviting Prudie to reconsider. Please read on. Dear Prudence, I enjoy your column and often think your advice is excellent and daring. Except in the case of "Wondering, too." I suspect Prudie was napping when she answered that one. I, myself, not being shy, wouldn't mind a friendly chat while in the office stalls but many would. Some would feel embarrassed at simply being identified and addressed in a compromising position. Others would feel tense, and conversation might interfere with the reason they are there. Not to mention that some people go there to sit and be quiet and have a small private break. Addressing someone by name, after identifying them by their shoes while they are sitting on the commode, seems downright rude to me. --Privacy Please Dear Pri, Prudie has finished her nap and wishes to acknowledge that the flub-up fairy was visiting her when she answered that letter. Persuaded by several people, she now wishes to reverse herself and begs the pardon of anyone who's had to suffer chitchat during a private moment simply because Prudie said it was OK. An interesting sidelight to bathroom Kremlinology is the men's room tradition articulated in the preceding letter. Women do not have such a rigid convention, but they weighed in, as well, with pleas for silence when nature calls. --Prudie, correctively Prudence, I'm 28, and my boyfriend and I are expecting our first baby in January 2000. My boyfriend's mother is terribly embarrassed by the fact that we are not married. (But we've been living together for two and a half years.) I was brought up with the values that you got engaged, got married, and then started a family. For some reason, I was blessed with this baby much sooner than planned. What can I say or do to convey to my boyfriend's mother that this is a blessing and not a tragic event? Please help. Thank you very much. --Confused Dear Con, For one thing, you can tell your boyfriend's mother that the baby is on time; the wedding is late. (Was this woman, by any chance, a member of Congress when they decided that Ingrid Bergman should be kept out of the country? If you have no idea what Prudie is talking about, ask your parents.) In any case, your attitude about the blessed event is most pleasing, and your relationship sounds solid. To assuage social convention, however, and to validate Prudie's suggested retort, perhaps you and the father-to-be might consider legally tying the knot ... and perhaps before the little bundle of joy requires a sitter. --Prudie, expectantly Dear Prude, I was ensconced in a manly game of collegiate football-watching when I overheard the womenfolk discussing proper breast-feeding etiquette. When asked, I indicated that as long as the breast is hidden under a blanket with the child, I don't mind. However, when a woman goes "National Geographic" and everything is out in the open, I feel a bit squeamish. There was no consensus amongst the men (one turned up the volume on the game so he didn't have to deal with the whole thing). The women were mixed in their opinions. So what is appropriate when breast- feeding in public? Thanks. --~jeff Dear ~jef, Though there is disagreement on the subject, good sense and good taste would seem to dictate that this perfectly normal function can be carried out in public with as little obviousness as is feasible. Prudie is not sure about a total blanket tent for both baby and breast, but an attempt at decorous draping would seem the thing to strive for. --Prudie, discreetly Narcissus-ism You can't avoid daffodils in April, and you wouldn't want to. With their long ruffled trumpets and bright petals splayed like the rays of the sun, these unabashed bloomers give of themselves freely and ask little in return. Even the hardest among us feel like better people for taking pleasure in their charms. My current favorite is shyer than most. It's called Narcissus Hawera , and it bloomed for the first time in New Zealand in 1937. It's small, rarely exceeding 8 inches. It's a translucent, pale yellow, with a head that dips slightly, beckoning you to lift it with a finger to get a better look. It has a short, straight snub nose with the tiniest unevenness along the rim. Its perianth is reflexed, meaning that the petals sweep back from the cup and twist a little, so that the flower looks as if it's being blown by a gentle wind. A curve at the top of the stem causes the Hawera to flutter, giving it a disarming nervousness. Despite seeming so vulnerable, Hawera is sturdy and not at all fussy. It's an excellent performer, often yielding several bell-like flowers on a single stem and blooming for weeks. Content almost anywhere, it multiplies freely. It has a sweet, delicate fragrance, unlike the heady odor some narcissuses give off. I first saw Hawera last spring in a garden outside Chicago, where it had been planted along the foundation of a stone house in long drifts interspersed with sweeps of fern. The 19 th century British gardener Gertrude Jekyll was the first to suggest pairing ferns with daffodils, pointing out that just as the daffodil foliage begins to brown and die back, the fern hits its stride and covers the mess. This particular fern was fine and lacy and looked fetching next to Hawera . I scratched its name into my notebook and actually remembered to order some in the fall. Last week, in San Francisco, I saw it coming up in a pleasing manner from between the stones of a garden path. I set aside some of my own bulbs last fall, potting them to bring indoors to bloom in winter. Although slow to appear, taking nearly two months to flower after being brought inside, Hawera was glorious when it finally arrived. It ruined for me two varieties of daffodils I already had flowering. One, Narcissus Topolino , I had tried because it was said to be an easy forcer, and it was--eagerly blooming in a vulgar fashion with a trumpet too long for its small face. The other, Narcissus Diskcissal , was said to be fragrant, and it was--too fragrant. Plus, it was a splotchy yellow with white leaching through it. Once the elegant Hawera ventured forth, the others were exiled to the compost pile. Hawera is a late bloomer in the garden as well, and while other varieties of narcissus have been opening daily in my New York garden, there is still no sign of Hawera . Daffodils are categorized as early-, middle-, or late-blooming, and if you choose a few from each, you can hope for six weeks of flowers, and you may actually get them. When it gets cold in spring, as it invariably does, people worry for their daffodils. But daffodils are cold-weather creatures, and for the most part, the chillier it is, the longer they'll stick around. The thing to worry about now is what bulbs to order for next spring. (Click for a quick review of daffodils.) Gardeners who really have it together place their orders early, sometime between June and August, while the rest of us scramble in the fall. By then, who can even remember what the garden looked like in spring? This year, I'm determined to make my selection while I'm still looking at spring's display, deciding what I need, and how many, and where it will all go. (Click for some planting tips.) Unfortunately, the fall catalogs don't arrive until mid-May at the earliest. The thing to do is to take notes now on what you want and snap pictures of your garden to remind yourself where to plant in the fall. If you don't trust yourself even to do this, you can order now, using last fall's catalog. Most nurseries will send you their latest one if you don't have it. Regardless of when you place your order, the nursery will ship the bulbs at the proper time for planting in your area, so if you do it now, you can forget about it until later. Many of the best catalogs--Daffodil Mart and Van Engelen--don't have pictures but compensate with useful line drawings and excellent descriptions. Either find yourself a reference book such as Taylor's Guide to Bulbs , or use one of the catalogs with color photos for reference, so you can take advantage of the picture-less catalogs' high quality, good selection, and cheaper prices. (The nicer the pictures, the higher the prices.) The John Scheepers catalog manages to have good photos and good prices because it is the retail division of Van Engelen. Get both catalogs, because they work well together, and you can order from either or both depending on the quantities you plan to purchase. (Van Engelen can offer lower prices because it deals in larger quantities.) This year Daffodil Mart will be offering similar discounts for really large orders--say, 800 of something--and 800 daffodils in a woodland setting or scattered about a lawn aren't really that many. You can also get a group of friends to order together. Both of these companies will have lower prices on many items this year because the dollar is strong against the guilder, and most bulbs are grown in Holland. It would be hard for a beginning gardener to go wrong with daffodils. They are foolproof, long-lived, inexpensive, and repellent to animal pests. They have no downside and are a quiet force for good in the world. If you didn't click through to the internal links, click for a daffodil review and for some planting tips. The Anti-Martha Soon, my garden will betray me. It will seem as if one day, things are going along just fine--fresh, new leaves and flowers--and the next, I haven't finished with this, I forgot about that, I neglected this, I left that out in the rain, that should have been moved, that is overgrown, that is dead, and the weeds are taking over . Taking to bed with Henry Mitchell is the surest palliative I know. He understands that I may feel like a genius in May and a wretch by July. For 20 years, until his death in November 1993, Henry wrote a gardening column called "The Earthman" for the Washington Post . During his lifetime, these pieces were collected in The Essential Earthman (1981) and One Man's Garden (1992). A third, posthumous, collection of Henry's work titled Henry Mitchell on Gardening has just been published. Henry was one of the few garden writers to admit that misery is a major operating principle in the life of the gardener, which is one "of unexpected failures and sorrows, somewhat redeemed by unexpected and utterly accidental triumphs." Devastating winds, early frosts, late frosts, killing storms, bad luck, bad timing, and general human stupidity are the norm. Over the years, I learned many things from Henry, such as the lesson of dividing up a small space to make it seem bigger; the importance of small bodies of water in a garden; and how to nurture tender plants through the winter. But mostly I learned to get over myself. It is surely unfair to Henry, who is probably the smartest, funniest, most literate American garden writer, but I read and reread him mostly for self-help, as if he were a sort of garden shrink. I read not as much for how to do this or that in the garden as for how to be a better gardening person. He provides a sense of comfort, much like the feeling you get from a cookbook when you have no intention of making any of the dishes. He had scores of devoted readers with little or no interest in gardening. Henry had the remarkable ability to delight in a single flower in bloom, however many weeds and catastrophes surrounded it. Because when he wrote "my garden is a mess," he meant it. The overgrown faade of his house was legendary in Washington, as were the garden's weeds, mud, and the black plastic pond tubs he never bothered to sink into the ground. The photo on the cover of One Man's Garden shows him in front of his green, murky pond. A big piece of tape seems to hold up some vine, dead stems of which obscure his feet. If philosophies of gardening were on a continuum, on one side you'd find Henry, the cynical optimist, and on the other Martha Stewart, the stern gardening bermensch . He would have hated her, and she would be appalled by him. In Martha's charmed garden world, there are no weeds and no storms. Plans are made, schedules followed, and order kept. Martha's picture-perfect house porn engages your fantasy life while you peruse, then makes you feel bad afterward. Henry never wagged his finger at you saying now is the time to do such or other. How could he? He was one of us, forever late--ordering his bulbs, planting them, moving them, or bringing in his tender plants for winter, and lugging them out again in spring. (He was never sure how someone who hated houseplants as much as he did could end up with a living room so full of plants each winter that it was impossible to walk or sit anywhere without being poked.) He recognized that the best-laid plans often fail and that the surest way to make a plant thrive was to plant it where it didn't belong. Sometimes even his beloved irises refused to bloom. His garden was plagued with bindweed. He didn't let it get him down. To Henry the garden seemed the ideal place to witness the charms and vagaries of the natural world. He was coyly gleeful about how lucky we are to toil in this chaos: to see the early snowdrops pushing up from the snow year after year or some flower graciously volunteering where you never would have been clever enough to plant it; or just to watch a couple of dragonflies having sex on a hot summer day. (He rigged up a landing strip for the dragonflies at the edge of his pond after seeing one drown.) In print and in life, Henry was as amusing as he was easily amused. He would entertain the Post newsroom (where I worked) with his stories--his rough, sonorous voice; his slow drawl; his erudition and love affair with the language; his cigarette ash building up until it rolled, unnoticed by him, down the front of his shirt. He always acted as if he were getting away with something or sneaking around like a mischievous child where he didn't actually belong. It's not that Henry was soft on things. On the contrary, he could be quite cantankerous. He reproached the much beloved garden at Dumbarton Oaks for its limited plant palate, especially what he referred to as the "forsythia mess"--a hillside covered in the yellow, early spring flowering shrub that others consider a bold sweep of color. He had little patience for people who want their flowers to be foolproof and in continuous bloom. A foolproof flower, such as the stiff, relentless black-eyed Susan, can never break your heart. Henry liked flowers that could "make a lady squeal." He loved his bearded irises, old roses, and peonies. He thought they bloomed for just the right length of time, smartly disappearing before you can tire of them. If you bemoaned that a particular rose only flowered once a year and for such a short period, he would advise you to take a vacation from work in order to stay at home and watch it bloom. He did. In an essay, E.B. White describes his wife Katherine, who, very sick in the fall of the last year of her life, goes out into the garden, as she has done every year before, to plant the spring bulbs she knew she would never live to see rise. I had always thought she did this for her husband, so that flowers would come up for him that spring. Henry explained that Katherine did this because, as a gardener, she simply loved the feel of the bulbs in her hand, the textures and colors of their little tunics. He would know. A week before Henry died from cancer, he directed his wife, from his bedroom window, on the planting of a new bed of irises. On the morning of his death, he left his bed and insisted on going out to help his neighbor plant daffodils. He was concerned because it was November, and the bulbs should've been in a month before. Cronkite in a Speedo New Republic, Oct. 26 The cover story welcomes the decline of rational-choice political science. Rational-choicers, who have dominated the field for two decades, sought to explain political behavior through mathematical modeling. The theoretical fad permanently handicapped political science by encouraging academics to disengage themselves from the practice of politics. Two professors have now proved that rational choice is based on dubious assumptions about political actors' motives. ... An article explores the workplace paranoia industry. Consultants profit from advising employers on how to prevent office rampages and training managers to spot unhinged workers, but office homicides are declining, and all the fretting may just exacerbate fear. Economist , Oct. 17 The cover editorial argues that free trade benefits the environment by increasing economic growth and giving poorer countries the resources to clean up. The related cover story applauds the World Trade Organization's efforts to find common ground with environmentalists. The WTO should consider the environment but not use trade sanctions to enforce environmental agreements. ... An article questions the success of women's liberation. A worldwide poll found that while 93 percent of women feel they are in a better position than their grandmother was, a majority of respondents say that they are no happier than granny was. Brill's Content , November 1999 The cover story identifies the 25 people who most influence what we read, watch, wear, and think. Predictable picks include the managing editor of Time , Rush Limbaugh, and Tim Russert. Surprising choices include the creator of Gap ads, the managing editor of Yahoo!, and Martha Stewart. ... An article details how the New York Times muffed its coverage of the Chinese spy "scandal." The paper got the facts wrong, played down dissenting views, and inferred the worst from the leaks it received. The Times acknowledged too late that it did not know how much information was stolen or whether it had any impact on China's nuclear program. ... An item reports that an unidentified major cable network is negotiating to air Bare Essentials News --a nightly national news program featuring anchors in bathing suits. New York Times Magazine , Oct. 10 The cover story, adapted from Michael Lewis' forthcoming The New New Thing , depicts Jim Clark as the personification of Silicon Valley's spirit of relentless reinvention. In less than 20 years, Clark founded Silicon Graphics, Netscape, and Healtheon. His latest company aims to put medical records online and to allow Web-based insurance payments. ... An article hopes that the confrontational Cardinal John O'Connor will be replaced by a more conciliatory leader. The archbishop of New York, traditionally the most powerful American Catholic, is expected to step down soon. His successor should be a peacemaker who can bridge the ethnic differences that increasingly divide the American church. Talk , November 1999 A profile of Arnold Schwarzenegger reveals that he contemplates running for California governor--and that he loves to paint pottery. The Terminator decorates his ceramics with butterflies, flowers, and hearts. ... An article explains that Al Gore enlisted for the Vietnam War out of fealty to his father and distaste for draft dodgers: Gore deplored "the inequity of the rich not having to serve." Gore is not asked what he thinks of President Clinton's draft ducking. ... Former Food and Drug Administration Commissioner David Kessler describes how an ex-R.J. Reynolds employee--"Deep Cough"--leaked the feds information about the tobacco company's manipulation of nicotine levels. FDA investigators also found a Philip Morris scientist who was silenced and fired after his research demonstrated nicotine's addictiveness. Newsweek , Oct. 11 The cover story marvels at the "Wild Bunch" of egotistical celebrities (including Warren Beatty and Donald Trump) who are pondering third-party runs for the presidency. The quasi-candidacy of Beatty proves that "Monica Madness" collapsed the distinction "between the serious and the circus." Unsurprising conclusion: The appeal of the provocateurs stems from disaffection with two-party politics. ... A profile of Gov. Jesse Ventura argues that the former "sideshow freak" of the "political carnival" has become the ringmaster. Pat Buchanan is courting his support, and the Donald consults with him regularly. ... A piece reports on a new treat for kids: yogurt in a tube. "Go-Gurt" rang up $37 million in sales during its first year of limited distribution. Expect a torrent of foodstuff in tubes. Time , Oct. 11 The cover story is ambivalent about laser eye surgery. This year 500,000 Americans are expected to spend about $2,500 per eye to have their corneas sliced open and reshaped. The 15-minute surgery immediately improves the vision of most patients, but 10 percent-to-15 percent have to undergo a second procedure, and 1 percent-to-5 percent suffer permanent impairments such as double vision. ... A disgruntled laser-surgery patient relates how she must apply artificial tears every 15 minutes or have her tear ducts surgically plugged--and she still can't see her kids clearly. ... A profile applauds California Gov. Gray Davis for a fearless first year. The supposedly timid Davis pushed through bold HMO reform, an aggressive assault-weapon ban, mandatory high-school exit exams, and peer review for teachers. U.S. & News & World Report , Oct. 11 Critically ill patients are being misled into acting as guinea pigs for experimental treatments, frets the cover story . Pharmaceutical companies pay physicians to test new drugs, and research institutes pressure them to recruit human subjects. Researchers sometimes prey on patient desperation and fail to obtain informed consent. In one drug trial, a 2-year-old died even though traditional chemotherapy could almost certainly have cured her cancer. ... An article ridicules the recent spate of books on human behavior. Books on the cultural and biological roots of crying, love, disgust, laughter, and gossip fuel readers' self-obsession. The New Yorker , Oct. 11 An article hypes women's interest Web site iVillage for its savvy marriage of content and e-commerce. The founders recruited advertisers by offering "integrated sponsorships"--that is, advertisers contributing content. By offering free e-mail, daily horoscopes, and online discussions with sex coaches, the site has recruited 2.1 million members. All those eyeballs have given unprofitable iVillage a stock valuation of nearly $2 billion. Business Week , Oct. 11 A profile of India's MTV generation finds that young middle-class Indians are zealous entrepreneurs who idolize Bill Gates. High-paying technology work has displaced the civil service as the most desirable career. ... A sympathetic profile of Bill Bradley claims that the candidate's biggest asset is his appeal to "NBA Dads," independent baby boomers unattached to either party. The Nation , Oct. 18 The cover story predicts that spending on federal campaigns in 2000 could reach $3.5 billion, while issue advocacy ads will inundate the airwaves. Republicans are right that campaign finance reform is "class warfare": It would wrest from the hands of the moneyed elite the disproportionate political power it now wields. Weekly Standard , Oct. 11 A piece accuses avant-garde artists of "cultural blackmail." They demand subsidies and threaten to brand the middle-class with philistinism if it resists. The "Sensation" exhibit is "just the usual ... celebration of the blasphemous, the criminal and the decadent." (Click for Slate 's "Dialogue" on the exhibit.) ... An article assesses George W. Bush's chances of clinching the general election by winning California. The Spanish-speaking W. appeals to Hispanics and has tons of money for advertising. A network of high-tech supporters is pumping Silicon Valley for donations, while even Hollywood honchos are buddying up with Bush. Why History Is on Clinton's Side in the Impeachment Fight After weeks of televised palaver, the legal division of the Flytrap commentariat has given up: In determining grounds for impeachment, the Constitution just isn't much help. Article II, Section 4 allows for the president's removal if the Senate convicts him of "treason, bribery, or other high crimes and misdemeanors." But how high is high? "Clearly, high crimes was referring to serious, serious crimes like treason and bribery, which are examples," said one legal pundit on PBS' NewsHour With Jim Lehrer . In other words, no one really knows. This leaves history as our only guide. Unfortunately for scholars (if fortunately for presidents), Congress has undertaken impeachment proceedings against only two chief executives, Andrew Johnson (1868, acquitted) and Richard Nixon (1974, resigned). That doesn't yield much in the way of precedent. Then again, the rarity of impeachment proceedings may itself be a sort of precedent. If so, President Clinton should relax--because, given what we know so far, he's on pretty firm ground. The first and only presidential impeachment trial, Johnson's, has generally been viewed as a partisan vendetta by the Radical Republicans in Congress. The Radicals, who favored the abolition of slavery and supported black suffrage, despised Johnson for his timid plans for readmitting the South to the Union after the Civil War. Johnson, a Tennessee populist who thought blacks inferior to whites, wanted to give Southern states wide latitude in shaping their own laws and governments, regardless of the consequences for the freed slaves. He vetoed key pieces of Reconstruction legislation, including an 1866 bill that would have granted basic civil rights to blacks, and he opposed the 14 th Amendment. Political warfare ensued. Although the Republicans once drew the scorn of historians--they were seen as intemperate ideologues--since the 1960s, they've mostly been cast as the good guys in the Reconstruction fight. Changing attitudes toward race in the last generation have helped overhaul the old interpretation of Reconstruction as a bad idea gone wrong. Except, that is, on the impeachment episode. Here, even the acknowledged wisdom of the Republicans' Reconstruction plans hasn't changed the consensus that they acted from partisan motives. The impeachment fight began when the Republicans, in their tug of war with Johnson, passed some dubious laws that shifted power from the president to Congress. One, the 1867 Tenure of Office Act, prohibited presidents from firing their own Cabinet members; another required that Johnson deliver all his military orders via Gen. Ulysses S. Grant. When Johnson removed his secretary of war, Edwin M. Stanton, on Feb. 21, 1868, the Radicals struck. They passed 11 articles of impeachment, nine relating to these two laws. Two other articles accused Johnson of ignoring or disgracing Congress. The Senate trial focused on Stanton's removal, the most substantive charge. Johnson offered a somewhat contradictory defense. On the one hand, his lawyers said, Lincoln, not Johnson, had appointed Stanton, and so the Tenure of Office Act didn't apply; on the other hand, they claimed, Johnson had deliberately flouted the law to test it in the Supreme Court. Still, the case against Johnson was weak: It was hard to construe the act of a president firing his own subordinate as a "high crime." Johnson was in the last year of his term anyway, and when he passed word that he'd stop obstructing the Republicans' Reconstruction plans, his survival seemed assured. In the end, the Radicals voted to convict, while the Democrats and seven moderate Republicans voted to acquit. Impeachment fell one vote short of the required two-thirds of the Senate, though other Republicans would have supported Johnson if necessary. In resting their case on an alleged violation of the law and not on policy differences, the Republicans conceded that impeachment had to amount to more than a parliamentary-style vote of no confidence. Before Johnson, this had been an open question; after him, it wasn't. Further, the Radicals' defeat suggested that successful impeachment charges against the president would have to allege substantial crimes on his part. Allegations of criminal wrongdoing that essentially served to cover for political differences wouldn't be likely to topple a president--even if they were technically accurate. Johnson's survival, combined with the passage of 100 years, made impeachment, by the time of Watergate, seem like an altogether unlikely scenario--the equivalent, as historian Stanley Kutler has written, of a nuclear first strike. In retrospect, of course, Watergate has come to mean the vast tapestry of that began to unravel with the June 1972 break-in of the Democratic National Committee headquarters. But as late as the spring of 1973 the scope of these misdeeds--including critical details about Nixon's involvement--remained unclear. So improbable did impeachment seem that April that Nixon's Attorney General Richard Kleindienst defied Congress to try it, confident it would relent. As Nixon's troubles worsened, however, his critics grew bold. After the July 1973 disclosure that Nixon had taped his Oval Office conversations, Democrat Robert Drinan of Massachusetts introduced the first impeachment resolution in the House. October brought the Saturday Night Massacre--in which Nixon had to fire his attorney general and deputy attorney general in order to get rid of Special Prosecutor Archibald Cox--and four more impeachment bills, including one introduced by a Republican. After months of new disclosures, including the release of transcripts of damning White House conversations, the House Judiciary Committee began impeachment deliberations in earnest on May 9, 1974. By July, nine fence-sitting members of Congress--two Southern Democrats and seven Republicans--were ready to endorse some form of impeachment articles. The committee held its final deliberations from July 24 through July 30. July 27, it voted 27-11 to pass the first article of impeachment, which focused on "obstruction of justice": paying hush money to the Watergate burglars, using the CIA to block the FBI's Watergate investigation, lying to Congress and to investigators, and otherwise covering up crimes. Two days later, it passed a second, equally devastating, article by a 28-10 vote. This "abuse of power" article charged Nixon with having the Internal Revenue Service audit his enemies, spying on private citizens, setting up the "Plumbers" unit that broke into the Watergate office building and anti-war activist and Pentagon Papers author Daniel Ellsberg's psychiatrist's office, and otherwise using federal agencies for personal and political advantage. Finally, on July 30, the committee passed a third, slightly weaker, article 21-17, which charged the president with having willfully disobeyed subpoenas. Two other articles--urging Nixon's impeachment for concealing the bombing of Cambodia and for tax evasion--went down to defeat; moderate Democrats wanted to play only their strongest cards. That didn't matter much, though; Nixon, knowing he was licked, resigned 10 days later. While Johnson's survival deterred members of Congress from considering impeachment in Watergate, Nixon's ouster has had the opposite effect, emboldening Clinton's foes. Watergate remains for many an unhealed wound, and Clinton's critics delight in needling him with Watergate comparisons--whether to Whitewater or Flytrap. Impeachment, once taboo, now seems like a legitimate weapon, a way to settle the score. The principle of Mutually Assured Destruction, after all, dictated that once nukes are launched, retaliation becomes much easier. Still, if the relative freshness of Watergate works against Clinton, the enormity of it works in his favor. In effect, Nixon's misdeeds () so dwarf Clinton's--even the most severe charges of suborning perjury--that Republicans could wind up bollixed. They are left either arguing, preposterously, that Clinton's crimes are just as bad as Nixon's or claiming that Nixon's crimes far exceeded the threshold for impeachable offenses and shouldn't be the standard for judging Clinton's. In this situation, Johnson's impeachment looms as the operative precedent: a case of men who despised and battled their president--perhaps with good reason--but whose zeal in pursuing flimsy impeachment charges turned the judgment of history against them. If you missed the links in the article, you can click for a summary of Richard Nixon's transgressions, and for the full text of the articles of impeachment against him.

Is the "Sensation" Art Worth the Fuss?

Dear David, Thanks for your speedy response. I found your comments more interesting than your earlier ones, mainly because you acknowledged liking some of the artists in the show. And that's good. I'm glad. I was beginning to wonder whether you were a knee-jerk neo-conservative, which is even worse than being a knee-jerk liberal. (Knee-jerk liberals are at least motivated by a desire for social justice, while knee-jerk neo-conservatives operate strictly out of fear--a fear of change; a fear of human instinct; a fear, it often seems to me, of their own latent homosexuality.) Getting back to Chris Ofili: No, I do not think that his inclusion of porn cutouts in the painting brands him as a rude provocateur. Remember, the Virgin Mary may be a timeless symbol, but she is also a flesh-and-blood woman, and Ofili is hardly the first artist to eroticize the Virgin. It's been going on at least since the Renaissance. (I'm sure you're familiar with Leo Steinberg's book on the subject.) Moreover, since you're a guy, I shouldn't have to tell you that virgins are sexy. Why do you speak of Sarah Lucas as nasty? I think she's major. I loved Au Naturel , that bare mattress piece with the melon breasts and erect cucumber. It manages to be both cultivated and raw at the same time, which is basically what I look for in any work of art. The piece evokes Rauschenberg's famous painted Bed and might be seen as Rauschenberg's bed unmade. If we get away from the art stars (Hirst, Ofili, etc.) for a moment, I'd like to say that, for me, there were many small discoveries in the show. For instance, I had never before seen Mat Collishaw's Bullet Hole , and I found it totally engaging. As you know, it's a big, lighted close-up of a head wound that bears an unsettling resemblance to an anus, and when I saw it, I thought to myself, "That's the story of my life. Half head, half asshole." Or, to be more elegant here (in keeping with the spirit of your own mandarin replies), you might say that the piece subverts the tradition of staged photography, blasting a hole through the cold, calculating heart of '90s art. I agree with you that Simon Patterson is not the next Picasso, but so what? The Armory Show of 1913, probably the last show in New York to cause this level of commotion, had its share of duds as well. Let's concentrate on the artists we like. There are lots of first-rate artists in "Sensation," and I can't think of any other recent show that captures so forcefully the particular feeling of being alive in the '90s, which sometimes means feeling like you're dead (I loved Ron Mueck's Dead Dad ). Yours truly, Deborah The Road to Beverly Hills Hays, Kan.; Wednesday, Oct. 6, 1999 Last night was not the best. As part of her ongoing I-am-not-a-princess campaign, E has been claiming she wants to stay at motels that cost $29.95. I have resisted so far. Last night we picked out a nice-looking $62.95 establishment that shall remain nameless (for reasons that will become obvious). We were heading up to our room when the pleasant, Midwestern clerk said, "Oh, one thing: If you turn on the heater, the smoke alarm will go off." Since it was a cold night, this had a slight Monty Pythonesque quality--"Should a man come into your room and hit you over the head with a hammer, pay no mind!" We imprudently forged ahead and settled into our room (we're sharing, though as part of my "hands-off' "policy--see below--I always ask for two beds). After a couple of hours of sleep, E turned on the light, and announced "I'm not feeling well." Indeed, she was feverish, and large red welts had appeared all over her body. I rushed her to the local emergency room. The doctor's diagnosis: The sheets had poisoned her. The doctor explained this was not uncommon (apparently the detergent used by some motels can cause an allergic reaction) and sent her home with three different prescriptions, which returned her skin to its previous lustrous condition but rendered her semi-comatose. This incident decisively ended the I-am-not-a-princess campaign, which quite frankly wasn't working anyway. Note to E : I see where you have called me a hypochondriac in your earlier entry ... But I don't have to be taken to the hospital if my thread count falls below 250. To be fair, E has (until last night) required less maintenance than expected. Her morning beauty routine is minimal to nonexistent. She just jumps into the shower and puts her wet hair back into a ponytail, which emphasizes her deceptively childlike appearance, and makes me feel slightly Humbertish at check-in time. (It doesn't help when I ask for two beds.) Some non-E-related points: Trends noticed in America's Heartland: 1) Skyline improvement. Postmodernism may have worn out its welcome, but it has certainly made cities look better from a distance. Louisville, St. Louis, Kansas City--all now have a fabulous, turreted, Oz-like appearance. 2) More hitchhikers than there were a few years ago. 3) The Lindy Hop (whatever that is). 4) Peter Frampton Revival! Favorite Billboard: "Monks? Yes! 1-800-Me-a-Monk" The Tipper Principle: By June 2000, I predict, we will all hate Tipper Gore. This is not because she is particularly unlikable. To the contrary--it's precisely because she is likable that her husband's handlers will stick her in our faces until we can't stand the sight of her. This now appears to be an ineluctable law of modern politics: All first ladies become unpopular. If they're unpopular to begin with, the law is satisfied ab initio . If they are popular to begin with, they will be overexposed until they aren't. Ernestine Bradley is next. Back to E: I do think I may have scored some points with my protective response during the Princess and the Pea episode. In general, my Darwinian strategy is to take no overt romantic actions, in keeping with the founding lie of this journey. Make her wonder why I'm not hitting on her. She hasn't made any moves on me either. Perhaps she's trying the same approach. The Slate Arts Index According to the Wall Street Journal , high culture is flourishing in America. The evidence? In a front-page story published a couple of weeks ago, the paper noted that Americans are drinking microbrews instead of Bud and that you can now get a cappuccino in Alpena, Ark. Though it might shock my Seattle-based colleagues, I'm not sure that better coffee is the ultimate measure of a civilization. But if we don't count Starbucks, how do we know that the arts are flourishing in America? There's some support for the notion in a recent survey of public participation in the arts published by the National Endowment for the Arts. According to numbers extrapolated from a poll, 97 million people, or half the adult population of the United States, participate in the arts in some way. A full 34.9 percent of us went to an art museum last year; 15.6 percent attended classical music concerts. From these numbers, the NEA has derived a figure of 88 million classical music concerts attended in 1997 vs. 60 million in 1992, and 225 million art museum visits in 1997, up from 163 million in 1992. However, the NEA points out that its 1992 numbers aren't comparable to the 1997 ones. Weirdly, the 1992 survey was appended to the National Crime Victimization Survey. (Has anyone in your household been mugged in the past 12 months? Have you been to see Riverdance ?) The bleak context may have led to underreporting. The 1997 poll, by contrast, was free-standing, but one can see how it might register false positives. An NEA survey that asks whether you like to go to the theater, opera, ballet, etc., subtly begs for affirmative answers. And in fact, the five year increase indicated by the NEA is much greater than the numbers tabulated by various arts-service organizations--which in some cases report a decline where the NEA sees growth. But the chief limitation of using the NEA numbers as a proxy for the health of high culture is that it's a demand-side picture--it captures consumption rather than production. It tells us nothing about the quality or quantity of high culture being created in the United States today. And in fact, the new study's upbeat tone cuts directly against the conclusions of a report issued by former NEA Chair Jane Alexander on her way out. The American Canvas study, published in 1997, argues that arts institutions are elitist, complacent, and largely hostile to popular audiences. Last year, according to the NEA, the arts were sick. This year, they're thriving. Of course, numbers can never resolve the inherently subjective question of cultural health. For a consensus about whether a lot of masterpieces were painted or written in 1998, check back in 100 years. But it may be possible to come up with a more rounded portrait of relative cultural well-being--one that takes into account how well artists are doing as well as how many butts are in auditorium seats. To that end, I hereby initiate the Slate Arts Index. This is a measure based on statistics culled from various sources that give a clue about the health of different art forms. Here's how it works. The baseline is 100 points, composed of six separate categories. It breaks down as follows: 20 points for literature, 20 for music, 20 for the fine arts, 20 for theater, 10 for film, and 10 for dance. On the basis of the numbers I've gathered, it's hard to say how well any art form--or culture as a whole--is doing. But in a year, we should be able to say whether they're doing better or worse. If the music score rises to 22, that would suggest a 10 percent improvement. A total tally of 92 would mean an 8 percent decline in the health of high culture overall. Literature (20 points) 10 points--number of weeks that literary books were on the New York Times best-seller list (1997 = 295) 5 points--number of full-length poetry titles published (1997 = 942) 5 points--number of Penguin classics sold (1997 = 3.95 million) The only book question on the NEA survey is "Have you read any literature in the past year?" Sixty-three percent said yes. The Slate literature index derives from three more compelling factors. The first is the number of weeks new works of literature spent on the Times best-seller list in the past year--295, as it turns out, out of a total of 780. What is literature? Rather than attempting to gauge quality, I have included all books that have literary aspirations or are regarded as literature by most reviewers: Cold Mountain , yes, The Partner , no. Elmore Leonard, yes, Carl Hiaasen, no. As opposed to the commonly cited figure of total book sales, this number is a reasonable stand-in for the question of how many Americans are reading nonpulp new novels. I've reserved the other 10 points for poetry and classic literature. Our proxy for verse is a fairly crude one--the number of books of poetry published. For classics, I'm using sales from one publisher, since Penguin keeps most of the world's great literature in print. Music (20 points) 4 points--number of opera performances (1996-97 season = 2,397) 4 points--number of opera premieres (1997-98 season = 13) 4 points--number of trips to the symphony (1996-97 = 31.9 million) 4 points--number of new orchestral works commissioned and performed (1997-98 = 211) 4 points--jazz sales as a share of the recorded music market (1997 = 2.8 percent) The logic here is that while the first number gives a sense of the availability of opera as whole, the second number gives a sense of whether new work is being added to the standard repertoire. Both statistics come from Opera America. The third and fourth numbers, provided by the American Symphony Orchestra League, do the same thing with orchestral music. It would be nice to include chamber music, but there are simply no useful statistics. Lastly, while I wasn't able to find any reliable numbers on jazz performance, the Recording Industry Association of America keeps track of jazz CD sales relative to other kinds of music. Fine Arts (20 points) 10 points--attendance at 149 art museums (1997 = 42.7 million) 10 points--number of people employed as painters, sculptors, craft-artists, and artist printmakers (1997 = 251,000) Art museum attendance is a reasonable proxy for how many people are experiencing art. The American Association of Art Museum Directors reports a much smaller increase in visits than the NEA. Based on the constant number of museums that responded between 1993 and 1996, attendance rose from 37.1 million to 41.3 million (for a slightly smaller sample group than the one used in 1997). As more people pay attention to art, it's becoming easier to get by as an artist. The other useful figure is the number of people working as artists. According to the Department of Commerce, 251,000 people made their livings as painters, sculptors, and craft-workers last year, up from 222,000 in 1993. Theater (20 points) 10 points--attendance at 81 nonprofit theaters (1997 = 11.98 million) 10 points--number of nonprofit theaters in the United States (1997 = 800) The Theater Communications Group, a New York-based organization, keeps figures for nonprofit theaters such as the American Repertory Theater in Cambridge, Mass., the Guthrie in Minneapolis, and the Steppenwolf in Chicago. For 197 theaters surveyed in a forthcoming TCG study, attendance was 17.25 million. However, in the interest of having an apples-to-apples comparison in the future, I'm using the smaller sample of 81 theaters tracked over time. In these, aggregate attendance is up slightly over the past three years--from 11.79 million in 1995 to 11.98 million in 1997. This does not include Broadway musicals, but then, we're looking at high culture. Our other measure is the total number of nonprofit theaters--800, also according to TCG. Film (10 points) 5 points--box office receipts for independent films as a share of total (1997 = 3.8 percent) 5 points--foreign film receipts as a share of total (1997 = 1.1 percent) According to Exhibitor Relations, which provides numbers to Variety , box office receipts from independent films were $239 million in 1997, out of a total of $6.3 billion for all films. Foreign film receipts were $68.8 million. The first number is likely to be higher for 1998--the year-to-date figure is $210 million, while the second looks to be much lower--there being no Full Monty import hit this year. I'm using percentages rather than dollar amounts so that I don't have to adjust for inflation in future. These numbers reflect consensus trends--foreign films are barely alive, while independent ones are flourishing. Dance (10 points) 5 points--average attendance at 25 largest ballet companies (1997 = 1,997) 5 points--contract hours per week for dancers at ballet and modern companies (1997 = 36) Dance indicators have been falling since 1991, when John Munger began keeping systematic track for Dance/USA. This contradicts the NEA report, a discrepancy possibly explained by a rise in attendance at school performances. There are two useful measures of dance strength. The first is the average attendance per performance at the 25 largest ballet companies, which has declined from 2,400 in 1992 to 1,997 last year. The other is the average number of contract weeks for dancers at major companies--which includes modern as well as ballet companies. That figure was 36 in 1997--up from a low of 34 in 1994. In other words, the dance audience has been declining, while professional dancers are finding slightly more work. This suggests philanthropy at work. I couldn't come up with a plausible indicator for architecture. Nor have I devised one for criticism, which, perhaps self-servingly, I consider to be an important component of cultural health. Lastly, the Slate Arts Index doesn't try to measure--as the NEA survey does--how many Americans are actively participating in the arts as amateur singers, writers, and painters. What the Slate index does do is establish a baseline. Next fall, we should be able to come back and say something meaningful about what kind of year the arts have had. For what it's worth, I'm predicting we'll hit 104. Where Are All the Online Ads? After months of dullness, the Democratic presidential primary now looks like a contest. With Donald Trump preening and Jesse Ventura backpedaling, the Reform Party is enjoying its widest media exposure since Ross Perot's '92 run. Normally, presidential candidates try to build on momentum created in the "free media" by purchasing ads. Some campaigns, notably Bill Bradley's, have jumped into the ad game--but not on the Web. So where are the online ads? The 2000 presidential race was supposed to be the time that political advertising splashed across the Web. One virtue of virtual ads, said political and advertising experts, is the cost relative to a typical TV spot. Also, online ads can be more compelling than print or radio spots. Moreover, because the Net is a distinct medium, candidates could experiment online with targeted ads that might not suit other media. So far, though, that's all theoretical: As well as can be determined, no major party candidate has yet run a Web advertisement. The Seattle-based ad-tracking firm AdRelevance (which this week was bought by Media Metrix) is trying to measure Web traffic for all presidential advertising in this race. "We've seen nothing to date," says Marc Ryan, AdRelevance's director of media research. That's not because the candidates have avoided advertising altogether. On Sept. 26, for example, Bill Bradley's campaign conspicuously took out half-page print ads in the Des Moines Register and the Manchester Union Leader , major dailies in the crucial early states of Iowa and New Hampshire. Both papers also offer Web sites, but the Bradley campaign apparently saw no value in extending the ad campaign into cyberspace. Sara Howard, a Bradley press aide, said, "As far as I know, we have not purchased space on any Web sites, whether they are associated with the papers running the ads in print version, or otherwise." AdRelevance's Ryan says that, at least at this stage of the presidential cycle, campaigns seem to be clinging to more traditional promotional channels. "I don't think [the candidates] will start [Web] advertising until after the Christmas season when they start their television campaigns," Ryan said. "There is also the likelihood that some may not advertise on the Web at all." One source close to Al Gore's campaign said that the Gore organization had tentative plans to advertise online in New Hampshire as far back as July. But the plans were shelved when it became too time-consuming to coordinate the campaign's online messages with its offline messages. A Gore press aide said that the campaign is interested in online advertising, citing an arrangement back in June with RealNetworks for a Web ad that announced the Internet availability of the audio of Gore's announcement speech. Any further details, he said, were "not something we're willing to talk about at this time. We tend not to talk about our advertising strategy until we do the ads, because we don't want our competition to know." The Road to Beverly Hills West Side of Beverly Hills, Calif. Just when I was planning a somewhat self-pitying final entry (Working title: "Next Time, Less Stuckey, More Nookie"), Elizabeth showed me a side of her I hadn't seen before, a warm, affectionate side. Out of the blue last night, she asked if we could go out drinking, and--well, let's say I think I finally broke through to her. It began with a point I made about urban sprawl--how when you drive across the country, you realize the issue is to a large degree phony. There's plenty of space! We should stop worrying! E. seemed to loosen up right away. She even put her hand on mine. I always heard you could score if you talked policy to her. Not that we had sex. But I will say I have high expectations for the future. If only the trip had lasted one more day. On the final drive across the desert into Los Angeles, E. seemed as if she had blossomed. Suddenly, after wearing sweatpants and T-shirts for five days, she put on this skimpy little black dress. Perfume, too. We sped across the desert, the futon on the roof threatening to blow off, in order to make an appointment she'd made at a ritzy hairdressing salon. She said, "I feel so sad this is ending. I'm going to miss you so much." We even had a road-trip bonding moment. She said she was tired of being an elusive commitment-phobe, and was ready to start a long-term relationship. We pulled up to 2 Rodeo Drive only five minutes late. E. didn't want me to use the valet, because, as she diplomatically put it, "with all this stuff, we look like the fucking Clampetts." I told her I'd see her later that night to unload her things. She said that "didn't work" for her, but we arranged to see each other tomorrow morning--"late." I mentioned again that I'd probably be driving back in a week or so, and that it would be fun if she could come. She smiled. I think she may say yes. Fatal Attraction The struggle among Patrick Buchanan, Donald Trump, Jesse Ventura, and Ross Perot's lieutenants for control of the Reform Party only looks like the clash of celebrity egos. Actually, the Reform Party is splitting along the fault line between American progressivism and American populism--rival traditions represented most recently by presidential candidates John Anderson (1980) and George Wallace (1968). Natural allies and natural enemies, progressives and populists simultaneously attract and repulse each other. In 1992, and to a lesser extent in 1996, Perot managed to unite both Anderson progressives and Wallace populists, but if history is any guide, nobody will pull off that miracle in this election. John Anderson's progressive Republicanism belonged to the distinctive political tradition of Greater New England--a territory that arcs from Maine to the Pacific Northwest and was settled by 19 th -century Yankee Protestant settlers. The Yankee's secularized Puritanism combines an enthusiasm for social reform--such as abolitionism, Prohibition, women's suffrage, civil rights, eugenics, and the anti-smoking crusade--with an often-priggish moralism and an apocalyptic horror of "corruption." Most third-party movements have originated in Greater New England. The name of one movement launched during World War I tells the whole story: The Nonpartisan League. The Germans and Scandinavians who settled in western Greater New England reinforced the secular puritan ethos, although they were more likely to be socialists than the Yankees, whose fear of corruption has often made them enemies of big government. And Prohibition divided liquor-hating Northern Protestants from beer-loving Germans. Even so, the Protestant pietism of many Germanic Americans meshed neatly with the Puritan religious culture of New Englanders and their western cousins, while socialist enthusiasms were easily merged with Social Gospel Protestantism in the northern-tier states. It is no coincidence that Anderson, the standard-bearer for the Yankee-Germanic tradition in 1980, is of Swedish descent--nor is it a coincidence that in 1984, Anderson, formerly a Republican, voted for Walter Mondale, a fellow Swedish-American. Southern populism, which earlier had produced Huey P. Long, Georgia's Tom Watson, and the Southern supporters of William Jennings Bryan, spawned George Wallace. Populism has more often found a home in the Highland South than in the coastal "black belt," which has been dominated since colonial times by the elitist conservatism of ruling-class Bourbon families and their allies. Drawing on the traditions of the Scots-Irish settlers of Appalachia and the Ozarks, Highland Southern populism encourages a tribal approach to politics and rewards leaders who are flamboyant and bellicose. Andrew Jackson was an early example of this type; Patrick J. Buchanan is its latest incarnation. Perot united Anderson progressives and Wallace populists, but in an unstable pairing. Wallace's supporters were social conservatives who favored activist government, as long as it benefited them and their families, while Anderson's voters were social liberals more concerned with good government than with expensive government. The Wallace voters tended to be white working-class Democrats on their way into the Republican Party; the Anderson voters by contrast were often former liberal Republicans in transit to a new home in the Democratic Party. In the federal deficit, Perot found an issue that resonated with both progressives and populists. In the minds of the skinflint progressives, spending money one does not have is a form of moral depravity. The deficit issue mobilized Jacksonian populists because it spoke to their fears about a remote government dominated by the rich and powerful. Unlike deficit reduction, the trade issue divided populist protectionists from progressives, many of whom favor free trade. Thanks to his deficit-reduction coalition, Perot won more votes in 1992 than any third-party presidential candidate since "Bull Moose" Progressive Theodore Roosevelt in 1912. Perot's 19 percent of the total bettered Wallace's 13.5 percent in 1968 and Anderson's 7 percent in 1980. The core of Perot's support that year was New England and Greater New England, with his best state--no surprise--Yankee Maine. While his rhetoric was populist, his positions were progressive. The progressives preferred government by experts to mob rule; Perot claimed that "smart people" in Washington already had the plans, all that was lacking was the will to implement them. Progressive reforms such as initiatives and referendums, like Perot's vague notions of direct democracy, tended to bypass legislatures and to concentrate plebiscitary power in allegedly nonpartisan executives--the president, governors, city managers. Ignorant Perot critics called his technocratic approach "fascism," when it was old-fashioned American progressivism. The progressives, like their predecessors among the Mugwumps--the independent-minded Republicans who spurned their party's presidential candidate in 1884--and Liberal Republicans and Whigs and Federalists, have long favored fiscal conservatism. Perot and his Concord Coalition allies, the New Englanders Paul Tsongas and Warren Rudman, were as horrified by the federal deficit as the Mugwumps had been appalled by the support of Bryanite populists for bimetallism and as the Liberal Republicans, a generation earlier in the Gilded Age, had been frightened by paper money. Perot, then, has the mind of a Greater New England progressive but the heart of a Highland Southern populist (his native Texarkana belongs to the western fringe of the Highland South). If Perot's message appealed to Yankee and Nordic progressives in the northern tier, his anti-establishment populism, and no doubt his flamboyant persona, appealed to the kind of voters whose ancestors had cheered on Huey P. Long and "Sockless Jerry" Simpson. Perot did very poorly in the conservative South--but his showing was best in parts of the South that had voted for George Wallace. With the federal deficit removed as an issue by 1996, Perot's coalition of Snow Belt good-government reformism and give-'em-hell hillbilly populism dissolved. The puritan crusaders of the North and the alienated populists of the South may share common political enemies, but little else. A century ago, Northern progressives such as The Nation 's E.L. Godkin viewed populists such as William Jennings Bryan as barbarians, and they returned the favor by viewing Mugwumps as enemies rather than as potential allies. Then, as now, economic policy divided rather than united the opponents of the two-party system. In the 1890s, Mugwumps such as Godkin crusaded for free trade and against tariff protection for corrupt manufacturers. In the 1990s, northern fiscal conservatives such as Anderson, Tsongas, and Rudman have backed free-trade agreements such as NAFTA. For their part, Highland Southern populists tend to rally around harebrained economic programs, elevating them from an instrument of policy into a symbol of a crusade against their enemies. For the followers of Andrew Jackson, the destruction of the Second Bank of the United States was the panacea; for the disciples of William Jennings Bryan, the panacea was silver coinage; for the followers of Ronald Reagan, supply-side economics was the crackpot quick fix. For Buchanan, the symbolic economic issue is a revival of high tariffs on manufactured imports. The factional war within the Reform Party, then, represents the decomposition of the movement into its Northern progressive and Southern populist wings. Buchanan can be described as a Southern populist, as can Pat Choate and Ross Perot, whose populist sentiments appear to have triumphed over their progressive principles. Former Colorado Gov. Richard Lamm, who attempted to wrest leadership of the party away from Perot, is a classic Greater New England progressive, as is former Connecticut Gov. Lowell Weicker, whose name was circulated as a possible Reform Party nominee. Jesse Ventura is the product of Minnesota political culture, with its mix of Yankee and Germanic reformism and its long history of influential regional third-party movements such as the Nonpartisan League and the Farmer-Labor party. And it's not stretching to assign Donald Trump to the Northern progressive camp. If Perot backs Buchanan, then the capture of the Reform Party by right-wing Southern populists is likely. At that point, the progressives will do what they have always done best: They're never happier than when they are demonstrating their moral, political, and religious purity by heading for the exit and starting their own small but pure church or party. New Englanders, fearing British corruption and tyranny, provoked the American Revolution. A generation later, during the War of 1812, many New Englanders considered seceding from the United States, whose federal government was then dominated by Southern politicians. In the antebellum era, New England-based Conscience Whigs denounced the North's pro-South Cotton Whigs as corrupt. After the Civil War, high-minded liberal Republicans walked out on their partners, the sleazy Stalwarts. In the early 20 th century, the Progressive Republicans, led by Robert La Follette and Theodore Roosevelt, stormed out of the GOP to form their own Progressive Party. So look for the Reform Party's displaced progressives to declare the purity of their principles, denounce the corruption of the populists who have taken over the party machine, and march out--to found a new party, perhaps, from which, in time, they can secede.

Mark Sikorski

Captain's log: 0430 hours, underway in the South Atlantic Ocean, steaming northeasterly along the southern coast of Brazil. The phone ringing in my cabin awakens me; it's the conning officer on the bridge making a report of a vessel that we have in sight approximately 12 miles away. The conning officer is guided by my Standing Orders, which is a compendium of actions to take when I'm not on the bridge. As directed, she is notifying me that the vessel is on a head-on collision course with us and we need to maneuver to pass clear of each other. Her recommendation to turn to starboard 20 degrees conforms with the International Navigational Rules; I agree and ask her to watch the vessel until it is well past and clear. At sea, this scenario is repeated numerous times every day. Safe navigation between ships is based upon simple mathematics ... add the vectors representing each ship's course and speed to determine if we are trying to occupy the same piece of ocean; henceforth known as a collision. We have several technically sophisticated computers that actually calculate the "closest point of approach" between our ships. Nonetheless, each conning officer uses some common sense to verify the computer solutions with what is actually happening. I have the final call on all maneuvers to safely pass clear of other ships. 0630 hours: My morning wake-up call and workout. Since it is Columbus Day, we are in "holiday routine"; no reveille. Weather remains very fair; it's already 66 degrees with light northeasterly winds; barometer is holding steady; and the seawater temperature is 65 degrees. We are all very excited that the weather is turning much warmer; it's a far cry from the howling gale we encountered as we exited the Strait of Magellan nearly two weeks ago. At 45 to 50 knots, the wind shrieked throughout the ship and was actually tearing off the tops of the 25-to-30-foot seas. The seawater temperature was 36 degrees! We beat ourselves up trying to work our way north; the ship was rolling 30 plus degrees. All kinds of things broke free, including a 1,000-pound box of free weights in the hangar and our 12-foot wardroom dining table. We came through a bit battered, but thankfully no one was hurt. 0730 hours: A second collision-avoidance report from the conning officer; another large merchant ship trying to occupy the same piece of ocean. 0800 hours: Breakfast, coffee, and lots of good conversation. Since we are on a rather long trek up the eastern coast of South America, the routine has settled down somewhat from the hectic pace of the previous three months. At the top of every hour, the bridge calls down to the Engineering Control Center to record the seawater temperature from an engine room gauge. To liven things up a bit, the engine room watch has calculated and reported the seawater temperatures in units other than Fahrenheit: Kelvin, Rankin, Celsius--the bridge didn't think it was too funny. In a similar vein, several of the engineers have braved the elements by appearing at our daily all-hands gatherings on the flight deck without coats; only to be outdone by a petty officer who wore shorts through the frigid Strait of Magellan! 1100 hours: Voyage planning; calculating distances and fuel consumption rates to finalize port calls off the northern coast of South America. 1200 hours: Observed following daily customs: Received ship's position report from the navigator. Current position is 28 degrees 19 minutes South latitude and 047 degrees 52 minutes West longitude (about 1,700 miles south of the equator). The conning officer reports that all small arms, ammunition, and pyrotechnics have been inspected. Traditional eight bells are struck. 1245 hours: Made a round of the ship. Clouds are thickening; looks like rain. We are making 13 knots on a northeasterly heading; the seawater has become bluer and has risen to 67 degrees. Engineering plant is operating well; temperature between the main diesel engines--Jake and Elwood--is 98 degrees; in the high southern latitudes the temperature was barely 80 degrees. The evaporator is supplying us with enough water to keep up with our consumption. Bilges beneath the operating machinery are dry and clean. 1300-1600 hours: Shuffled paperwork; reviewed reports and signed the ship's official logs. Crew is enjoying a day of rest watching movies and playing in the Morale Committee-sponsored spades tournament. 1700 hours: Ate dinner in the wardroom. 2120 hours: Wrote Night Orders outlining supplemental instructions for the night watches to follow. 2300 hours: Engineer officer and I won our first round of the spades tournament. 0000 hours: Steaming under a canopy of stars, gently swaying to the ocean swells; glowing lights on a distant shore. Another day at sea is complete. No. 320: "Futurific" "It is one of the most significant developments in the history of the space age," said John E. Pike of the Federation of American Scientists, reacting to Tuesday's big event. What happened? Send your answer by noon ET Thursday to newsquiz@slate.com . Tuesday's Question (No. 319)--"Formerly Known As": There's been more and more of it at Princeton in recent years, but now a faculty committee proposes to eliminate it or at least rename it. What's the old name; what's the new? "Cheating; collaborative learning."-- Katha Pollitt ( Russell Scott and Eddie Haskins had similar answers.) "Herpes; happy pants."-- Tim Carvell "Joyce Carol Oates' oeuvre ; Whatsername's stuff."-- David Finkle "Untenured faculty; groundskeepers."-- Floyd Elliot "Disabled; genetically inferior and slated for elimination."-- Tom Baker Click for more answers. Randy's Wrap-Up News Quiz participants offer two oddly contradictory views of Princeton life. In one view, loutish slack-jawed children, admitted to college only so the bursar can suck money out of their rich alumni parents, cheat their way through class and, if that doesn't get them good enough grades, bully their professors into upping their marks. Those craven souls knuckle under because, weak and untenured in their pathetic tweeds, they must capitulate or end up doing yard work at some ethnically cleansed eating club. At the Princeton in a parallel universe, perpetually drunken students sleep it off in class, their clothing disarrayed in such as way as to catch the eye of Sadean professors by whom they are sexually exploited in exchange for better grades. The only ones exempt from this cruel pawing are the Jewish kids, who aren't there anyway, and the physically disabled, who are being quietly slaughtered, one by one, by Peter Singer's special-duty teaching assistants. Which of these Princetons is the one Bill Bradley attended? Inflatable Answer A+; A With Distinction. Worried about grade inflation, a Princeton faculty committee proposes replacing the A+, worth 4.3 grade points, with the new designation that would be worth only 4.0, the same as an A, but would denote particular academic excellence. The New York Times attributes the increasing number of A plusses and the decrease in C's and D's to "lenient professors and students who badger them for higher grades." Some Other Actual Name Changes in the News Extra Palestinian Web addresses used to end ".wg" indicating the West Bank and Gaza; they will now end ".ps" indicating that the Palestinian state is pretty much an afterthought. The e-mail newsletter Harvard Today will now be known as Today@hcny, as the university protects its trademark from New York's Harvard Club, which might also have to change the name of its all-male nude review, you know, if it had an all-male nude review. Which I for one would certainly pay to see. More for cultural than erotic reasons. Not that I begrudge anyone his pleasures. I'll stop now. The advertising tag-line "Always Coca-Cola" will now be "Enjoy all that's inside," in an effort to reinvigorate sagging cola sales. "They want to try root beer, then fruit drinks; they jump all over the place," said Bruce Llewellyn, grouchy CEO of the Philadelphia Coca-Cola Bottling Co. "They'd drink their own urine if we let them. The fickle bastards should be horse-whipped," he did not add. Ellen Barkin will, one day soon (if there's a God in heaven, and Revlon's stock continues to plummet as a feckless addlepated heir drives a once-thriving company into the ground with his big bald head) be changing her name to Ellen Cohen, if I can just get the judge to lift that restraining order. John Murdoch's Correction Corner (In yesterday's Death Without Missed Dinner Extra, I foolishly wrote "Use the time to contemplate how your fellow Baptists have been on the wrong side of every social policy from the civil-rights movement to gay rights with a stop-off to support the Vietnam War." Below, John Murdoch sets me straight-- Ed.) You're doubtless thinking of the Southern Baptist Convention. Let me assure you that the National Baptist Convention was entirely in support of civil rights; it is a largely black association. The American Baptist Churches (note the plural: Baptists object to the idea of denominations, choosing to "freely associate" instead) absolutely took the liberal position on practically any social issue from the 1960s on (which is why they're losing churches to the Southern Baptist and National Baptist conventions). Who's the largest religious denomination associated with Americans United for the Separation of Church and State? The American Baptist Churches. Ongoing Bail-Out Extra Some leads so deftly encapsulate the article to follow that the reader instantly knows he'd sooner be struck blind than read on. Participants are invited to submit actual examples from any news source of what The New Yorker used to call "letters we never finished reading" (or something like that), like this one from Ken Tucker: "What a contradictory country this is ..."--Anthony Lewis, New York Times , Oct. 12, 1999 Best examples to run Thursday. Common Denominator Faculty-student sex. Peaceable Pagans Please send your questions for publication to prudence@slate.com. Hey Pru, I've got a very wicked idea about who you really are. I think you're a fat, balding guy in his middle 50s who smokes cigars while reading those heart-rending missives from perplexed readers. Trs cool. --Rick St. T. Dear Rick, And what do you plan to read now that you've finished Miss Lonelyhearts ? Actually, Prudie is a knockout. (And modest, too.) --Prudie, laughingly Dear Prudence, What you really need to tell "" is that Wicca and paganism are simply other religions. Of course their followers don't believe in evil or worship Satan. For one thing, Christians created Satan--so he's their guy, not ours. To be evil is to go against everything you're taught by the Wiccan religion. --Just Concerned Dear Just, Talk about toil and trouble ... Prudie was inundated by lotsa mail on this subject. Interestingly, the Wiccan mail was friendly, polite, and informative. Blessed be. The few stinky letters were from clergymen. Go figure. --Prudie, bewitchingly Prudie, I recently married a woman who is a devout Mormon. Needless to say, she has spent a fair amount of time trying to convert me. I believe that a person's views on religion, divinity, and so on are individual. I respect the right of anyone to believe as he or she sees fit, but honestly, I find the whole Latter Day Saints faith a load of dingo kidneys--restrictive, racist, and condemnatory. I also find their attitudes sanctimonious and superior and in line with many fundamentalist "Christian" faiths. So, how do I tell my young (much younger) wife that I want her to cool down the rah-rah Mormon bit? I love her dearly, but this is driving me nuts. --Alisdair Dear Al, Prudie is astounded that you and the little woman did not discuss this rather loaded subject--on which you differ profoundly--before the strains of "Here Comes the Bride" filled the church. And she wonders if resolution will even be possible ... what with the Mrs. trying to convert you to her religion ... which you view as a load of dingo kidneys. If you love her dearly, as you say, it will be necessary to reach an agreement, probably with a referee, whereby you both hew to your own beliefs and do not discuss them. You might tell the beloved that you have decided to become Jewish just to end the discussion. (Prudie is kidding.) It is a storm signal, however, that you use the words "racist, restrictive, condemnatory, sanctimonious, and superior" about your wife's faith and her fellow practitioners. Prudie can only hope that, as a counterbalance, her personal qualities are "gorgeous, loving, brainy, witty, and rich." Not to be pessimistic, but Prudie envisions another letter from you down the line. --Prudie, worriedly Prudence, I am a gay divorced father who also happens to work in a Catholic school. I am out to my ex-wife, family, and some close friends but am hesitant to come all the way out for fear of the implications. I do not care what people think about me, but I don't want to bring any negative publicity to the school. I love education and would hate to leave it. I want to find a life partner to share my days with, but my current employment prevents me from doing so. I am tired of living in the closet and want to be me without having to live two lives. Can you help? --Mr. Q. Dear Mr., Closets are for clothes, and two lives mean split personalities. Prudie would encourage you to reorganize your life so that it is honest. The first thing to try would be to talk with someone in authority at your school about your sexual preference to ask if it poses a problem. The answer may well be in the affirmative, seeing as how one parochial school sacked a female teacher because she was divorced . But this will at least be a start. Prudie is a little unclear as to why your being gay would bring publicity to the school, but only you know why you think this is so. Because you say you would hate to leave the educational field, why not move to a public or private school if your Catholic school boss finds homosexuality a problem? Take it from Prudie, all schools have gay and lesbian teachers. It's a percentage thing. And Prudie wishes you all the best in your private, romantic life. --Prudie, openly Dear Prudence, My boss is a really great guy and the best boss I've ever had. There's just one problem: He whistles incessantly. I find whistling irritating at best, but it is positively nerve-wracking when I'm trying to concentrate at work. My office is two doors down from his, so there's no escaping the sound. I've tried to discreetly play music, but it doesn't drown him out. I've also tried shutting my door, but in our office culture, that's considered uncomfortably secretive and standoffish. Any ideas on how I can save my sanity (and my job)? --Whistler's Brother Dear Whis, Prudie finds whistling annoying, too. It is an odd sound and, like chewing gum, should best be done in private. You may have blown the problem out of proportion, however. Surely this "really great guy," the best boss you've ever had, could not be so unreasonable--or thin-skinned--as to take umbrage at your request for a whistle-free workplace. Make your remarks positive. Tell him, in your own words, that it pleases you that he manifests such happy feelings, but the musical expression of his joy distracts you and keeps you from putting out your very best work. A really great guy is not going to react with anything but understanding. Unless he is so dense that light bends around him, he will accede to your request and be grateful that you spoke up. --Prudie, fearlessly Address your e-mail to the editors to letters@slate.com. All writers must include their address and daytime phone number (for confirmation only). Penalizing the Prez David Plotz's piece "The Case for Community Service for Clinton" advances an excellent analysis of the political requirements for an acceptable punishment to accompany censure, if indeed censure is chosen in lieu of impeachment. The key point is that there must be a humbling element, without complete humiliation, and that a purely financial penalty such as a fine would not be enough. One approach worth considering is the loss of Clinton's post-presidential privileges. I am thinking particularly of the post-presidential pension and office expense allowances. Beyond any actual financial loss (which Clinton could probably recoup with a high-paying post-presidential job) there is likely to be a perceived element of strong moral rebuke associated with the forfeiture of retirement benefits. Perceived analogies would be to "rogue cops" who are not prosecuted but must resign from the force and lose their pension (at least on television). Loss of office expense allowances would carry an implicit message that, while we don't want to force you out of office, we really don't want to hold you out as an honored ex-president. Indeed, even Richard Nixon did not suffer these two penalties. In essence, while Clinton would not be forced to resign or leave office, he would suffer a penalty that is often associated in the public mind with officials who are required to resign to avoid being removed or criminally prosecuted. The penalty, in effect, would be bad spin. --Donald B. Susswein Bethesda, Md. Lip Service Re David Plotz's piece "The Case for Community Service for Clinton": There's only one kind of service he understands, and he has to have someone else do that! --James L. Boals Lancaster, Pa. Trapped in Monicagate Michael Kinsley writes in his Sept. 28 "Dialogue" entry: "And there's no question whether Slate readers want more Monica. Their e-mail says no no, but their mouse clicks say yes yes." This is not a contradiction. Rather, it is an extension of a well-known game theory model called "The Prisoner's Dilemma." Take the following example: Suppose the world consisted of only two people. If both know nothing about Monica, then both are happy. If both have information about Monica, then both are unhappy. If one has information about Monica, then that one is happy, but the other one is very unhappy, since he or she is at a disadvantage. Now, assume that information about Monica is published. Unless the two people have an agreement not to read anything about Monica, both defend against extreme unhappiness by reading the info, settling for moderate unhappiness. Expand this to hundreds of millions of people, and it's obvious that no agreement can hold, especially when some of them actually do want the information. Our situation is comparable to the situation Slate now faces about whether to print damning information about the hypocritical politician. If you don't print it, someone else might beat you to it, and you'll have to talk about it anyway. Does this mean that you will be happier when the information comes out? --Andrew Berman Seattle Working Relationships Considering Michael Kinsley's defense in the "Politicians and Privacy" dialogue, I would add that although I do not find invasions of privacy acceptable, people do wish to know something about the relationship between the individual and his or her work. Biographical criticism is important, not only for the three reasons that Kinsley expressed in his initial argument, especially the point on hypocrisy, but for historical reasons. We have no problem accepting biographical criteria for literature. In fact, there is an entire school of criticism devoted to the relationship between author and work. Why shouldn't politicians' lives be open to examination in the same way? For historical reasons, attention should be paid to the private life of the politician or to the idea of the "work" as an expression of the politician's inner being. If it turns out that the politician is a fraud or a hypocrite, we should be able to know this--as long as the methods of revealing such knowledge do not invade the person's privacy in an unfair or Kenneth Starr-like way. -- Jacque Martin Paris Nuts to Us As one with family members whose lives are literally threatened by peanuts in their environment, I fail to find the humor in Seth Stevenson's article "Nuttiness" on the subject today. If you think this is amusing, think how much fun you could have with paraplegics or muscular dystrophy issues--much bigger universe, many more sniggering opportunities. A sad, adolescent performance you should be ashamed of. -- Ed Tenny Washington Nuts to Everyone Peanuts are a wonderful source of nutrition, et al., for some 99 percent of our population, not to mention the fact that peanut products are easy to keep, very popular, and generally inexpensive! Parents and their children must be responsible for determining, as early as possible, which allergic reactions will be a part of their lives. It is absurd to rely upon any "controlling legal authority" to do that for you! Peanuts and their products are astoundingly good for us, as is the industry that keeps them before us. Killing either on the basis of gene pool considerations for fewer than 1 percent of the population would be criminal. -- Donald B. Hammond Alexandria, Va. The Killer Nut Peanuts can kill and have killed. This is not a laughing matter. --William C. Siroty, M.D. Board Certified, Allergy and ImmunologyMason, N.H. Really, Ms. Prudie! I do not read "Dear Prudence" as a rule. However, this morning I dipped into the column to see if I was missing anything, and I found a letter citing a previous Prudie column, saying, "Prudie finds the appellation 'Ms.' ridiculous and crosses it out whenever possible, believing that single women are 'Miss' and married ones are 'Mrs.' (The nice thing about divorce is that then you get to choose between the two forms of address.)" Does Prudie mean to imply that women are not equal to men in this society and that therefore it is important to know a woman's marital status immediately, while men are allowed to remain judged for who and what they are, regardless of their marital status? I find this inane and the title "Ms." an excellent solution to women's entry into equality in the workplace and society. I do not think it is anyone's business whether or not I am married (I am) and have kept my "maiden" name as many married women now do. I am sorry to say that the Dear Prudence column remains one I will not visit in the future and, I suspect, one that does not have the highest ratings among the Slate offerings. -- Ms. M. Curtis London, England Address your e-mail to the editors to letters@slate.com. All writers must include their address and daytime phone number (for confirmation only). Address your e-mail to the editors to slate@msn.com. (posted Thursday, Jan. 30) Fightin' Irish? I have to take issue with Franklin Foer's piece "Pataki and Potatoes." I agree with his criticism of the New York law mandating the teaching of the famine as a historical example of genocide. As a sometime teacher, I see this sort of legislation as the worst kind of politically-motivated government meddling in education. It is also clear that the motivation behind such legislation is a reaction to "multiculturalism" and the history of European brutality toward non-Christian, non-European peoples. The resulting tit-for-tat is perhaps the best possible argument for refraining from even well-intentioned political efforts to shape the public-school curriculum. I object, however, to Foer's characterization of both the famine and the current vogue of Irish-American identification with Irish history and culture. His understanding of the famine and the British government's role in it--at least as demonstrated in this piece--is shallow, at best. British economic policy aggravated a desperate situation. That Irish grain should have been exported while Irish people starved--for little other purpose but to hold down the price of grain on the English market--was as morally repugnant to contemporary observers as it is to modern ones. Many contemporary English observers advocated intervention to thwart the famine. Their voices went unheeded by the likes of Peel, Russell, and Trevelyan, and the ideology of laissez-faire political economy meshed with anti-Irish bigotry to produce catastrophic results for the Irish poor. Unfortunately, Foer's apparent ignorance of Irish history goes deeper still. The English government was responsible for the underlying conditions of the Irish agricultural economy that made the Irish poor so vulnerable to the blight. The dispossession of Irish Catholic farmers, which took place in successive waves over several centuries, relegated them to the most marginally cultivable pieces of land. A cash-crop market system supplanted the traditional locally based subsistence economy, and placed Irish farmers in a position of dependence on a single crop. When that crop failed several years in succession, they had no viable alternative to starvation or (if they could afford it) emigration. English-imposed legal disabilities also hobbled the efforts of poor Irish Catholics to redress ill-treatment by Anglo-Irish landowners and merchants. Furthermore, Foer makes no mention of the deliberate withholding of corn from the Irish market to prop up prices for corn producers in England. As Foer points out, other areas of Europe experienced blights of the potato crop from the same fungus, but none suffered the human devastation that Ireland did. The historic policies of the English crown, and later, the British government, turned a crop failure into one of modern history's most tragic episodes. To argue, as Foer does--that the notion that the British government bears a substantial measure of responsibility for the humanitarian crisis of the famine is merely an Irish "folk tradition"--is as absurd as arguing that the blight itself was introduced deliberately in a genocidal conspiracy. As for Foer's criticism of Irish-American identification with Irish culture as part of a so-called "Diaspora chic," he is unfair to those Americans of Irish descent who do not romanticize terrorism, support Sinn Fein or the IRA, join organizations like the Ancient Order of Hibernians, or celebrate St. Patrick's day by getting obnoxiously drunk and excluding Irish-Americans who happen to be gay. That there are Irish-Americans who do these things in no way devalues the efforts of others to connect with their past. If Irish-Americans tend to have a superficial understanding of their own history, and to focus on the positive aspects of their culture to the exclusion of less admirable parts, this only proves that they are human, and as prone to historical myopia as Anglophiles or Afrocentrists. As an Irish-American who is unapologetically proud of both parts of my hyphenated identity, I find Foer's piece less offensive than tendentious and historically ill-informed. --Dan Gorman Feeding Hunger The article "Can We Really Feed the World?" only scratches the surface of this issue by focusing on the murky areas of politics, raw power, and corruption. A more in-depth view would recognize that when the basic framework of a society disintegrates, external food supplies may just lead to additional reproduction, and thus more widespread starvation. Desperate people who have lost all hope for themselves are biologically driven to propel possibly surviving offspring into the next generation. This in turn is just one of the issues posed by the relationships between technologically advanced societies (TAS) and technologically primitive societies (TPS). Should "we" (who is "we"?) let nature run its course and let TAS groups eradicate the TPS culture or the people themselves? Or should the TAS groups take it upon themselves to "elevate" the TPS to their level? Or should the TAS build and patrol walls around the TPS to keep adventurers and entrepreneurs from preying on the TPS? Should the TAS withhold medical technology from the TPS to preserve their balanced ecosystem? Clearly I have no answers, but a suggestion: Look at the global picture and step down from ideological and judgmental postures onto the plane of common sense and compassion. --Paul Kailor Buns of Steel As Low Concept as "Rumble in Hollywood" may be, I take issue with David Plotz's choice of ballet dancer Baryshnikov to unfavorably compare Jean-Claude Van Damme with Steven Seagal. Now nearly 50, Baryshnikov may no longer make a career of jumping higher than Seagal's grasping hands might reach, but he is still dancing professionally. Which means, just like our grunting action heroes, the mighty Misha still has buns of steel. --Kathleen Morris Address your e-mail to the editors to slate@msn.com. Address your e-mail to the editors to letters@slate.com. Illiteracy Test "Who Cares if Johnny Can't Read?" by Larissa MacFarquhar is a truly stupid article, whose only point is that there is a big difference between basic reading and highbrow reading. But this is not a crucial distinction for people concerned about literacy in this country. There has been a palpable decline in literacy in America over the last 30 years. Even the average university student both knows less and, by common-sense measures, is less intelligent than his or her predecessors. And even if IQ has not declined on a mass scale (and I suspect that it has), there is a point at which lack of curiosity and sheer ignorance are indistinguishable from a deficiency of intelligence. This article was a good example of supposedly skeptical and revisionist garbage. --Harvey Scodel Lying Illiterates "Who Cares if Johnny Can't Read?" by Larissa MacFarquhar is so off base that it is difficult to fathom that she really believes what she is saying. I am the president of the Literacy Council of Garland County, Ark., and I know that the functional illiteracy rate in our state is 52 percent. Her data is obviously faulty. It is nonsense to ask an illiterate person if he's reading a book. Of course he's going to say "yes." The last thing an illiterate person wants to advertise is the fact that he can't read. Our culture is filled with ways to help people hide their illiteracy. Restaurants like Shoney's and Denny's feature pictures of their entrees on the menu so those who can't read can still order their meal. And people know who wrote Huckleberry Finn and other books because they have learned from television and the movies. --Ann W. Schmidt Lay Off the Lama Thanks to David Plotz for giving me the link to the Dalai Lama's Web site in his "Assessment," "The Ambassador From Shangri-La." But other than that, it was a complete and utter waste of my time. Plotz thinks the Dalai Lama is merely cashing in on the West's romance with Eastern spirituality. The Dalai Lama is the only world religious leader who acts the way many feel a world religious leader should--speaking inclusively to people about his faith instead of trying to ban women from the priesthood and gays and lesbians from humanity in general. Maybe he is a feel-good optimist or maybe the answers are really simpler than our unnecessarily complex world would like to believe, but either way, the Dalai Lama is one of the few people in the world whom I can legitimately not feel cynical about. And David Plotz has dismally failed to change my mind. --Al Cotton Uncle Sam the Mooch Jodie T. Allen's article "I Like the IRS" is based on an extremely dangerous and faulty premise: All income belongs to the government, and the portion we are allowed to keep is some sort of present. The flaw is best expressed when she refers to last week as "windfall week." As we all know, the money in a tax refund is money that the taxpayer earned and was kept by the government for up to a year without interest. Windfall? Incredible. Allen's comments about "tax shelters" are similarly puzzling. Can she possibly mean that we should pay more in taxes than the law requires? She then goes on to extol the virtues of our beloved IRS, distracting us from the actual percentage of our income that is being taken. As for her discussion of the graduated tax and the flat-tax proposal, she blithely opines that taxing higher-income individuals is OK because the dollars are "less precious," but she knows that we are talking about percentages of their total income, not a fixed amount. I think Slate's articles are usually insightful, the authors informed, and the viewpoints balanced, but Allen's article possesses none of these virtues. -- Charles Van Cleef Amen to the IRS I agree with Jodie T. Allen's argument in "I Like the IRS." The present tax system is pretty fair, and is certainly more democratic than a flat tax. The system of exemptions and deductions, although perhaps a little complicated, really means that one's tax obligations are custom tailored to one's specific circumstances. Paradoxically, the more we try to simplify the code, and the more "one size fits all" we try to make it, the less conforming to our individual needs the system becomes. The problem is, we are always trying to have it both ways. We want all the breaks, and we want a simple system. The two approaches, unfortunately, are mutually exclusive. If we go to a flat tax and then people find out that they're paying more than others they perceive as less deserving, they are going to scream like stuck pigs. If people are unhappy now--thanks to contentious, self-serving news writers who are more bent on garnering attention through controversy than they are through enlightenment--they are going to be miserable when they realize what they have done to themselves. My only complaint with the IRS is that they seem to be lagging in the computer area, a problem I attribute to the politicization of the IRS's top management. We get a new top person with each administration, and then it's a whole new ballgame--again and again. The heads of the IRS ought to be like the heads of the FBI or the chairmen of the Fed, above party, serving terms that transcend incoming and outgoing administrations. --Collingwood Harris Taxing Ambition I beg to differ with Jodie T. Allen's "I Like the IRS." As a 24-year-old college graduate, recently married, I was one of those 25 percent that you spoke of who didn't get money back. But even if I had, this should not be viewed as a source of income or bonus. How about the fact that the government has held that money over the course of the year, preventing you from collecting interest or circulating it throughout the economy. There is no positive outlook in having the government hold on to your money so you can get a bonus check at the end of the year. Moreover, your definition of rich is concerning. You feel that you can judge who values a dollar more based on community standards. However, we live in America, a country that was built on individualism. Taxes do not empower the individual, they empower the government and sucker people by taking their extra income to fund government-program flops. What continues to baffle me about progressive taxing is why people care so much what Steve Forbes, Bill Gates, or I pay in taxes. We should trust the businessmen who turn $1 into $10 and make our economy stronger, improve our overall standard of living, and even provide jobs. These are the people that drive our economy. The more money you take out of their hands the more money you take out of the economy. Our current method only penalizes people for making more money. We have turned monetary success into a crime. It is no wonder our society is floundering around and the current generation is called Generation X. --Tony Stanich Put Dworkin's Argument out of Its Misery In the "Dialogue" on assisted suicide, Ronald Dworkin holds that neither a woman aborting "her" fetus nor a "terminally ill patient killing himself" involves either "important interests of other people" or an action "horribly against the actor's own interests." I disagree. The definition of humanity is not intrinsically questionable. For some, it is clear: From conception until death, human life is sacred. Dworkin reduces the ontological status of the fetus to an issue of ownership by calling it "her" fetus, using an assumption central to the validation of the master-slave relationship. He implies that killing is justified when it releases a willing victim from pain, a maxim that could lead to a justification of slaying the innocent to avoid any other painful social or personal dilemma. Dworkin wishes to replace the moral teleology of law with obeisance to cultural prejudices, informing us that unjust acts may be countenanced when popular ideology asserts them to be "personal" and hence putatively free of legal restraint. But the better part of Western thought has always affirmed that the principles of law are ineluctably related to the principles of good. -- Steven A. Long Teacher's Pet I want to thank you for bringing the insights of Steven E. Landsburg and Paul Krugman to Slate readers. I'm a high-school economics teacher; their perspectives have enriched my understanding and challenged my students. They have made all of us really think, which should be the highest motive of an economist. Clearly, you have chosen two of the best. I especially appreciate Professor Landsburg's accessibility. I have been able to carry on an e-mail dialogue with him regarding his ideas expressed in Slate and his book, The Armchair Economist . Through me, my students have participated in this dialogue. They think that's exciting, and so do I. By providing this service, Slate has demonstrably increased my effectiveness in the classroom by engaging my students in a conversation with two leading economists. So I thank you and your Microsoft sponsors and ask that you continue the good work. -- Gary Nelson Address your e-mail to the editors to letters@slate.com. Green Estate Re: "" From: Joe Klein Date: Tue Oct 26 Yes, I had some nice things to say about Bradley's campaign, especially the bold and clear speeches he's made on a variety of issues (particularly health care), but I've also had some nice things to say in the past year about Gore, Bush and McCain. I think they're all running suprisingly substantive campaigns and deserve some credit for that. But I haven't "endorsed" anyone, or come close. (In fact, I have no idea whom I'll be voting for). (To reply, click here.) [Joe Klein is Washington editor of The New Yorker .] Subject: My Own Father's Estate Re: "" From: John B. Date: Tue Oct 26 My own father died less than a year after I was born; I never really knew him. A career military officer, he left my mother and his four children little in an economic sense, but the mementos of his life, including photographs, his military decorations and the memories of those whose lives he touched, are cherished to this day. Even in the midst of his loss, Mr. Stein should be grateful to have enjoyed the company of his parents into their old age; even if we don't realize it at the time, each and every moment that we have with our loved ones should be considered, and treated as, a blessing. (To reply, click here .) Subject: Class Warfare? Try Progress Re: "" From: R. Dupont Date: Tue Oct 26 I enjoy Ben Stein's TV show, but the essay is troubling. The tribute to his father is touching and well-deserved, but his views on the estate tax are appalling. At no point does he tell the reader the size of the initial exemption. In fact, estates must exceed at least $600,00 before ANY tax is applied. It is my impression that only 1 percent to 2 percent of all estates are subject to any tax. This is not class warfare. This is sensible economic and public policy. Many of the wealthy realized the benefits of disbursing wealth at death (A. Carnegie, e.g.). Ben Stein should know better than to make the occasion of his father's death into a political complaint. (To reply, click here.) Subject: Estates and the Public Good Re: "" From: Marshall C. Sanders Date: Tue Oct 26 I am in the business of estate tax planning. With a modicum of planning, Mr. Stein's father could have seriously reduced or eliminated the amount of taxes that were payable by his estate. It is also true that while Ben's mother certainly deserved to share in his father's largess, Ben and any other siblings were merely members of the "lucky sperm club." We all take something out of society. We all should put something back into society. Mr. Stein's father, whom I disagreed with on a good many things, did put something into society, besides taxes. But assume he had not; should he or anyone else be allowed to accumulate substantial wealth or should it be filtered back into the society from whence it came and from whence it might do more public good? I will leave that question for the philosophers and politicians. (To reply, click here .) To read a "Dialogue" on estate taxes between former Sen. Bob Packwood and economic journalist James Glassman, click . Subject: Irish as Cultural Badge Re: "" From: varese layzer Date: Tue Oct 19 Dennis Baron writes with reference to another minority language that "[c]ultural-loyalty movements like the class in Navajo tend to spring up when cultural preservation is in danger, and their record of success is not impressive." I would add that it depends on who starts the class. Irish is a minority language closely associated with Irish culture and sometimes with Irish nationalism. Some of the most positive Irish-speakers are those who have acquired what they call "prison Irish." Not necessarily studied in prisons in Northern Ireland, this is Irish learned on a need-to-know basis, but a cultural need to know. If these speakers don't fashion this connection to Irishness they feel otherwise culturally deprived, to a greater or lesser degree. The most enthusiastic speakers I have ever met are not native speakers who grow up in comfortable government-subsidized Irish-only neighborhoods in Galway, but those who have clawed their way to a brand of cultural Irishness that they choose to mark by the use of language. So I wonder if there isn't a proviso that cultural-loyalty movements of language revival may be likely to fail if they are instituted by the government, but perhaps more likely to succeed if they are instituted in spite of the government. Because state-supported Irish in the Republic of Ireland has a much more temperamental success rate. Most Irish people there seem to feel that their culture is plenty intact without this old-fashioned language dragging them further back behind the rest of Europe. Is Irish a special language case? (To reply, click here .) Subject: Ebonics and the Techno Babble Re: "" From: Keter Tzadik Date: Tue Oct 19 I and my co-workers happen to be Ebonics speakers. We are all young, urban "heads" ( heads is "ebonics" for "people") who run a multimedia company. We speak our own urbanized form of computer tech-speak a lot of the time because we find that terms like "information superhighway" and "surf the web" are just not compatible with an urban lifestyle. How many kids from Harlem have been surfing? Naw'meen? I myself speak Ebonics, so-called Proper English, some Hebrew, some Spanish, some Arabic, and media techno-babble. I've blended all of these together into my own urban Renaissance language. I think that people need to communicate so there should be a shared mode of communication, but, acting like so-called proper American English is more than a "slang dialect" itself is just wrong. I mean, we do NOT speak the Queen's English, nor would we want to. Further, English itself is just a bastardized version of other languages like French, German, Latin, and eventually Sanskrit. So before the next time one of these language elitists rolls up into a 7-11 and talks trash about the Indian guy behind the counter speaking broken English, he should instead thank the Indian guy because his precious English language was "invented" by the Indians' ancestors. Shalom. (To reply, click here .) Subject: Martha: Architectural Digest for the Masses Re: "" From: Kathryn Ryder Date: Fri Oct 22 Martha, and her many imitators, have taught us how to make our houses into homes. Before Martha, the many domestic arts and sciences were divided between "homey" but provincial cooking and Sears-style decorating, on the one hand, and the haute cuisine of Julia Child and decorating by Architectural Digest on the other. Martha taught the new, educated and traveled middle class how to find a middle ground for decorating and cooking. Her style remains essentially that. If you disagree--then compare Martha Stewart Living with Architectural Digest . If the great unwashed wish to serve beer in bottles and an open bag of chips and Velveeta on triskits on the picnic table out back, as opposed to Martha-inspired delicacies-crudits and margaritas, so what? Why does she need to be so vociferously criticized? Why do the hoi polloi feel so threatened by her and her style? She never feels threatened by THEM and she has NEVER, despite what the many parodies say, preached AGAINST a more casual style of entertaining or said her way was the ONLY way. (To reply, click here .) Subject: What Martha Said to Jesus Re: "" From: JoelBrian Date: Sat Oct 23 I'm sure your readers know that the very name "Martha" is no accident. "Martha" has represented domesticity for almost two millennia, when she complained to their guest Jesus that her sister Mary was spending all her time listening at the feet of Jesus, while she, Martha, had to work serving. Jesus' answer is classic: "Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things. But one thing is needful; and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her" [Luke 10:38-42]. Thus "Mary" represents intellect and devotion, which trumps domestic chores. But nowadays "Mary" won't get very far with an IPO. (To reply, click here .) Address your e-mail to the editors to letters@slate.com. Please include your address and daytime phone number (for confirmation only). That Is All Ye Know on Earth Nice review by Judith Shulevitz ("Modern Makeup"). But who is this historian-author Kathy Peiss? What an interesting idea for a book. Is it readable prose? I mean, for 25 bucks I want to know first if she's a credible researcher and secondly whether I'll stay awake for the read. I'm being picky because I'm really thinking of buying the book--Shulevitz's review compels me. So, red light/green light? -- Kate Nolan Judith Shulevitz responds: Good question, and one I should have answered more clearly in my review. So here's the information I should have provided: The book's a fine read, if not a rollicking one. The research is excellent and Peiss' presentation subtle and nuanced. Peiss is a history professor at the University of Massachusetts at Amherst and the author of a book called Cheap Amusements: Working Women and Leisure in Turn-of-the-Century New York , which I have not read but which is said by more knowledgeable friends to be a substantial contribution to the history of women in America. Should you buy Hope in a Jar ? Why not? You'll learn lots of things you hadn't known, you'll think about makeup in a new way, and you'll be spared the ranting about the evils of consumerism that so often accompanies social histories of women, beauty, and fashion. Thanks for asking. Hope this helps. For Richer or for Poorer Eric Alterman ("Diary") says that he and his spouse-equivalent aren't getting married because their federal taxes would skyrocket. He might want to check his arithmetic and reconsider. However lamentable the "marriage penalty" may be, his examples vastly overstate its size. For a two-earner couple making $150,000 split evenly, Alterman claims a staggering marriage penalty of $7,700. But that's not even close: The actual figures are $1,140 for a couple with no children and $1,700 for a couple with two kids. For two earners each making $23,350, Alterman is serendipitously close to the mark when he asserts a marriage penalty of $1,001 a year. The actual amounts are $84 for childless couples and $883 for a couple with one child. (The jump in the penalty from having a child is mainly due to the fact that a single parent making $23,750 gets a $500 earned-income tax credit, while a couple making $46,700 is ineligible for that credit.) But one suspects this is not the example that actually worries Alterman. Finally, in the example that's apparently nearest to Alterman's heart--two potential spouses making $125,000 and $40,000--he says, "a year of marriage costs the same as a year of day care." He must have found a bargain rate. The actual penalties in this case are $774 for childless couples and $2,681 for couples with one kid. That latter figure is certainly not nothing, but it's only 1.6 percent of the couple's $165,000 total income. By the way, I've long been a hawk for eliminating the marriage penalty. But such a step wouldn't mean Alterman and his potential spouse's taxes would go down much. In the $125,000-$40,000 scenario, for instance, a deficit-neutral solution would increase their taxes by $2,000 or so (compared with now) if they remain single and cut their taxes by about $550 if they get married. -- Robert S. McIntyre Director, Citizens for Tax JusticeWashington, D.C. The Other White Meat I enjoyed Jacob Weisberg's article on dumb jocks ("The Football Caucus"). The last thing we need is unrealistic and idealistic people voting their consciences. We need people who can play the game and get the pork. -- Tom Swick Address your e-mail to the editors to letters@slate.com. Please include your address and daytime phone number (for confirmation only). Economist , Oct. 24 (posted Saturday, Oct. 24, 1998) The cover editorial argues that we should fear not a strong China but rather, a weak one. After years of warp-speed growth, China's economy is slowing down. High unemployment could lead to labor unrest and eventually to political instability at the top. That would be bad news for the rest of Asia and the world. ... A story says reliable voice recognition technology will soon be a reality. A consortium of high-tech companies in Flanders--"one of the most multilingual places around"--is pioneering voice systems that will make palm-top computers even more convenient. Microsoft has invested, foreseeing a voice-capable Windows operating system. ... A story explains why we can't tickle ourselves. Scientists theorize that our brains anticipate and discount sensation we cause ourselves. Why? All the better to recognize sensation caused by other objects, such as, say, poisonous insects crawling up our arms. New Republic , Nov. 9 (posted Friday, Oct. 23, 1998) The too-long but hilarious cover essay exposes the ridiculous academic shenanigans of "queer theorists." Queer theory luminaries such as Eve Kosofsky Sedgwick and Michael Moon see sex--preferably unconventional sex--everywhere they look. An entirely innocent passage from Henry James (reprinted for us to judge for ourselves) prompts this from Sedgwick: "[The text] shows how in James a greater self-knowledge and a greater acceptance and specificity of homosexual desire transform this half-conscious enforcing rhetoric of anality, numbness, and silence into a much richer, pregnant address to James's male muse, an invocation to fisting-as-criture." The essay quotes other superb examples of horrid academic writing. New York Times Magazine , Oct. 25 (posted Thursday, Oct. 22, 1998) The cover story is dubious about genetically altered farm crops. Biotech companies now inject potato species with genes that make the potato itself pesticidal. But bugs will eventually get around this advance, just as they've got around traditional pesticides, so why aren't we embracing more sensible methods? Short answer: There's more money in the brute-force agriculture of conquering nature than in the eco-sensitive strategies of organic farming. ... A story profiles Harold Ford Jr., a young Tennessee congressman who epitomizes modern black politics. Ford's father was a traditional liberal congressman, race-conscious and loyal to the party. The younger Ford's New Democrat policies and less abrasive attitude on race make him more popular with middle-class, white Tennesseans. ... A story follows pro golfers on the Nike Tour. The minor league of golf, the Nike Tour features struggling rookies and over-the-hill dreamers striving to make the PGA Tour but settling for budget motels and yearly winnings of less than $20,000. New York , Oct. 26 (posted Thursday, Oct. 22, 1998) The cover story goes behind the scenes of the World Wrestling Federation. The WWF now admits that pro wrestling is fake--they call it "sports entertainment"--but wrestling still packs in the stadium crowds and attracts cable TV viewers. Key to success: Vince McMahon, WWF president, has made himself part of the "storyline." The tyrannical president pretends to get beat up by popular wrestlers chafing under his authority, and WWF fans go wild. Time and Newsweek , Oct. 26 (posted Tuesday, Oct. 20, 1998) Time 's cover package mourns the murder of Matthew Shepard, gay University of Wyoming student. The main story examines life for homosexuals in America: Gays and lesbians are more accepted, according to polls, and exercise more political power, but right-wing opposition has become more focused. An accompanying essay supports hate-crime legislation, claiming that "[t]here needs to be a defense against the defense that 'homophobia made me do it.' " (For more on the martyrdom of Shepard, see Slate 's "Frame Game.") ... Newsweek 's cover story fawns over John Glenn, old astronaut. A story praises Glenn as a true American hero and describes what his life and duties will be aboard the space shuttle next week. (See also Slate 's "Assessment" of Glenn.) A separate piece explains what putting an older person in space will teach us scientifically--despite efforts to prove the contrary, the answer seems to be: not much. Time reports from the pizza war front. Papa John's is now No. 2 in the pizza industry, behind only Pizza Hut, and Papa is growing faster than anyone else. Its secret? Rapid store expansion and "a zeal for perfectionism"--a single air bubble in a pizza's cheese renders the pie substandard. Newsweek eulogizes its editor, Maynard Parker, who died last week at 58. Parker is remembered as "a larger-than-life field general who could wield the entire arsenal of the magazine to tell a story with power, insight and drama." U.S. News & World Report , Oct. 26 (posted Tuesday, Oct. 20, 1998) U.S. News rates the "Best Jobs for the Future." Among them: nanny, physical therapist, executive recruiter, catering director, and Web site developer (no, Slate is not currently hiring). An accompanying story reveals how to get what you want in a job. Hints: Go for the big money, because no one will ever disrespect you for it; consider trading fringe benefits for vacation time; and beware of companies who hire you on a contract basis--contractors face tax disadvantages. The Nation , Nov. 2 (posted Tuesday, Oct. 20, 1998) A story claims the real prize at stake in next month's elections is the power to re-district after the 2000 census. Republicans want to take control of more state legislatures in hopes of creating a GOP dynasty through gerrymandering. Whichever party controls redistricting could be in power for a long time. The New Yorker , Oct. 26 and Nov. 2 (posted Tuesday, Oct. 20, 1998) A special "Next!" issue on the future of theater, fashion, books, music, et al. A story explores the privatization of space exploration. SpaceDev, a commercial spaceship company, wants to mine space for profit--there's gold, platinum, and other precious metals in dem dar asteroids. SpaceDev can also charge scientists to carry out experiments, undercutting NASA's hefty fees and bureaucracy. The commercial space biz looks very promising. ... A story tracks a doctor's quest to cure his own colon cancer. The doctor implanted extracts of his tumor in a group of mice, then ran tests on the mice. This specialized treatment worked for him (he used a Chinese herb to beat back the disease), but it would be too costly to devote a fleet of mice to each individual cancer patient. --Seth Stevenson More Flytrap ... Camera Obscura In 1895, Edgar Degas shipped a camera to his beloved sister Marguerite, who was dying in Buenos Aires, Argentina, where she and her husband had fled from creditors. The camera, Degas explained, was "capable of both posed and instantaneous views." With "no more than a month of practice," she would be able to send him "a few good portraits"--including, he specified a few days later, "some negatives that I can have enlarged to see you better." Degas' enthusiasm for photography can't conceal the morbid undertow of his request. He will never see her again, but this camera might get there in time. And the negative--so apt a word in this context--will assume her place. Degas' pragmatic association of photography with death recalls Roland Barthes' far more melodramatic one: "Photography may correspond to the intrusion, in our modern society, of an asymbolic Death, outside of religion, outside of ritual, a kind of abrupt dive into literal Death." Degas sends no consoling words to his dying sister, just a camera, and the hope that she has a month to learn how to use it. The Metropolitan Museum of Art has assembled the 40 or so known photographs by Degas, all dated (with an occasional "probable" added) during the years 1895-96. With this show the Metropolitan brings to a close an extraordinary cycle of Degas exhibitions that began with the huge retrospective of 10 years ago and proceeded through such lesser-known materials as Degas' monotypes, his landscapes, and his private collection of works by other artists. The exhibition of Degas' photographs, some of which have never before been seen in public, raises two questions. What sort of photographer was Degas? And what do these photographs add to our understanding of him as an artist? You might think photography was perfectly suited to Degas. By 1870, when he was in his mid-30s, he had left large-scale historical and mythological subjects behind for good. No more medieval costume dramas or Spartan youths flirting in freeze frame. Degas spent the following decade developing an art that reflected the jostling shocks and perpetual motion of the modern metropolis. Close-ups of musicians in orchestra pits, with ballerinas above them, beheaded by the top of the frame. Horses jutting their heads into one side of a picture, while carriages are chopped off by the other. A disheveled dandy, his two daughters, and his dog, all facing in different directions and wedged into one corner of a picture, while the broad expanse of the Place de la Concorde takes up the remaining space. Odd croppings, odd angles, odd encounters. Give that man a camera. It has often been suggested that Degas' innovative urban perspectives were influenced by photography. But the opposite is closer to the truth. Degas' manipulations of perspective, decentered compositions, and so on were always latent in the practice of Western painters; he merely pushed them further than anyone else had. The peculiar pictures that resulted made the new invention of photography, and especially the casually composed snapshots of the 1890s and after, seem less outrageous, more "artful." Ambitious photographers followed Degas' lead. But Degas came around to photography as a sort of afterthought. Degas had acquired a Kodak by the summer of 1895, when he was 61, and he took it along for trips to spa towns and watering holes. The amateur photography craze was such that fashionable hotels provided darkrooms for vacationing shutterbugs. Degas took some tricky landscape shots, such as , where the curvature of the path and the converging trees on either side of the road give the illusion of a dead end, against a migrating wall of trees. Back in Paris, Degas showed no interest in pushing such plein-air experiments further--he was no Atget in the making. After all, he had already perfected in pastel and paint a daytime art of apparent spontaneity, with precisely the sort of visual jokes he'd found on that tree-lined road. What Degas discovered in photography was a nighttime art of stasis and meditative inwardness. "Daylight is too easy," he insisted. "What I want is difficult--the atmosphere of lamps and moonlight." So he turned after-dinner hours into photo shoots, marshaling guests to pose in carefully orchestrated tableaux. The major surprise of Degas' photographs is that the theatricality and staginess so resolutely banished from his paintings flooded into his photographs. At a time when the Kodak camera and roll film (first introduced in 1888) made the instantaneous "snapshot aesthetic" possible, Degas opted for an older approach: the pose held for two or three minutes, the long exposure, the "atmospheric" effects of lamplight on a black ground. A night with Degas and his camera was, according to his close friend Daniel Halvy, "two hours of military obedience." Degas knew what he wanted and would push till he got it. Halvy recorded snippets of Degas' imperious orders: "And you, Mademoiselle Henriette, bend your head--more--still more. Really bend it." The twisting , one of only two surviving photographic nudes by Degas, bends her head so far that it disappears in darkness. Degas' photographic nocturnes evoke a Halloween world of phantasms and ghostly intimations, with death often lurking in the shadows. In , Louise, a sort of surrogate sister to Degas, appears to have fallen asleep, while the lamp to the right blooms like her dream world. In (Bibliothque Nationale, Paris), one of a suite of self-portraits, Degas' devoted housekeeper and cook looms above his penseur pose, her head the top of a pyramid, like a muse figure or a protective guardian. In the most complex of Degas' photographs, his great dual portrait of the painter Renoir and the poet Stphane Mallarm (Museum of Modern Art, New York), Renoir's head is posed dead center in the composition, with the vertical of the mirror frame bisecting his head. In the mirror itself Degas' camera apparatus is visible, but his own head is obliterated--the flash of genius or the death of the author--by a sunburst of illumination. Despite his obsessive care in arranging shots, Degas the amateur photographer made mistakes, and some of these led to further discoveries. He preserved some double exposures of the Halvy family, with intersecting bodies extending vertically and horizontally and heads emerging here and there like ghosts. Among the most striking images in the show are three negatives of a ballet dancer assuming poses familiar from Degas' pastels (see [Arm Outstretched]). The glass negatives were too overexposed to print, so Degas had them treated with chemicals to produce an orange and yellow effect like stained glass, images for a secular chapel. Why did Degas give up photography so soon after being captivated by it? Had he "passed through the sadness and grief that accompanied the death of his sister and that helped spur his photographic activity," as the curator Malcolm Daniel asks in his catalog essay? Well, no, Daniel concedes, since Degas continued to mourn Marguerite (who died in late October 1895), and other close companions died during the years immediately following. Daniel leans toward a technical explanation--that Degas "had solved the problem of the meditative lamp-lit nocturnal portrait." I would suggest another cause. Many of those portraits, over a third of Degas' total photographic output, were of the Halvy family. They were Degas' closest friends; he dined with them regularly and treated them, at a time when his own family was dispersed and in financial trouble, as virtually his own relatives. Then came the accusation of treason in 1894 against the French army officer Alfred Dreyfus, who happened to be Jewish, and the subsequent division of French society into French nationalists convinced of Dreyfus' guilt and those equally convinced of his innocence. Degas was in the former camp, and by 1895 would have his housekeeper Zo read aloud from anti-Semitic tracts at the breakfast table. Two years later, he could no longer tolerate any association with Jews, including the thoroughly assimilated Halvys. As Daniel Halvy reported, "An almost unbelievable thing happened in the autumn of 1897. Our long-standing friendship with Degas, which on our mother's side went back to their childhood, was broken off." The art historian Linda Nochlin has traced what she calls Degas' "perfectly ordinary" anti-Semitism to status anxiety. The Degas family (which sometimes changed their name to "de Gas" to suggest noble roots) came to prominence through the same international banking connections the Jewish financiers they deplored had. When his family fell on hard times, Degas blamed it on the Jews. One wonders whether the dark and shadowy world of his photographs might have had some association in his mind with the ambivalence he felt toward the Jews he posed in such excruciating positions. Degas, according to Daniel Halvy, "carried his camera as proudly as a child carrying a rifle." The Dreyfus case is all but unmentioned in the Metropolitan show and catalog. The oversight is not the result of an effort to avoid downbeat or offensive sides of Degas, but rather a failure to understand the seismic shift in French society caused by "l'affaire ." Photography and French nationalism were also linked in Degas' mind. As Daniel Halvy wrote in his diary about a visit with Degas in December of 1895, "We went out; he talked about France, about photography, about photography, about France, all mixed together with equal excitement." When Degas walked out on the Halvy family, he walked out on photography as well. No. 329: "Ladies Foist" "Please be a lady," Sen. Jesse Helms chided Rep. Lynn Woolsey, D-Calif., in a Senate hearing room Tuesday. Then he sicced the cops on her. What had Rep. Woolsey done? Send your answer by 5 p.m. ET Sunday to newsquiz@slate.com . Wednesday's Question (No. 328)--"Hello, Wieners": A study by the Department of Health and Human Services shows that kids are four times as likely to do it on Halloween as on any other evening. Do what? "Turn off the television and go outside."-- Neal Pollack ( Peter Carlin had a similar answer.) "Strangle another child with a gummy worm."-- Nell Scovell "Pick up a bacterial infection from hanging around the undead."-- Merrill Markoe "Can I give a shout out to my peeps? Yo, yo, what up Shacky and T? Keepin' it real in da H-town."--Jon W. Davis "Trick or treat. And frankly, the number seems a tad low to me."-- Tim Carvell Click for more answers. Randy's Wrap-Up Many responses remark on our sedentary youth, barely able to leave the couch, let alone the house, sedated by the television, the Nintendo, the ennui, the Quaaludes. Budget cuts have eliminated sports programs in many urban schools. And bicycles, once the vigorous instruments of suburban freedom, are rarely spotted in the playground; parents fear for their kids in heavy suburban traffic. Most bicycles are now sold to adults, all too often wearing ill-advised spandex pants. Another HHS study cites the immobilizing effect of the car. A report on the increased rate of obesity in America (from 1 in 8 in 1991 to 1 in 5 last year) shows the biggest increase--67.2 percent--in the South, with a hefty 101.8 percent gain in Georgia. The cause: not grits, cars. Atlanta's sprawl keeps people sitting in their cars for hours, encouraging them to eat fatty fast food and run down kids who, bloated and logy from their indoor lifestyle, bike-less and slow, staggering along on foot, slowed by 35-pound backpacks, make easy targets and a sickening sort of "squish" sound. It's like dodge ball, but with an actual Dodge. Screech of Bats and Brakes Answer On Halloween, kids are four times as likely to be fatally struck by a car. Trick? Treat? The study is a little vague in its conclusions. Get It off Your Chest Extra I give the expression of dismay; you give its object. Dismay 1. "Shock, horror, disappointment." 2. "There are phenomenal shenanigans and accusations." 3. "They're full of blackish, horizontal lines and some have worms in them." 4. "So fat and windy that they sit, with some exceptions, like hefty neglected lumps." 5. "It's another reason to move to Sweden." Object 1. Russ Johnson, amateur pinball historian, reacts to the news that WMS Industries is shutting down its assembly line, leaving Stern Pinball as the last manufacturer of the beloved game. (But go ahead and make up an Atlanta Braves joke if you like.) 2. Bohdan Krawchenko, a Ukrainian democratic activist, is dismayed at his country's rigged presidential elections. (Note to translator: What is Ukrainian for "shenanigans"?) 3. A Fox executive is disappointed with the way their new shows look on television. No, wait. I'm wrong. It's a letter-writer to the New York Times who's having trouble with his organic carrots. (Probable cause: The "wonderful world of the carrot rust fly." Prognosis: excellent.) 4. A U.S. senator is disgusted by his colleagues. Or perhaps Times columnist Martin Arnold thinks a lot of books are just too darned big. (And on a personal note, it's just so sad when any lump is neglected. I think that's the message of that new Meryl Streep movie where she plays a heroic violin teacher.) 5. Another American has had it with his HMO. Or an unnamed beverage industry executive hates Coca-Cola's plan to put temperature sensors in its vending machines to automatically raise the price of a Coke on hot days. (But he wasn't so snippy about my plan to affix temperature sensors to Meryl Streep.) Common Denominator Razor blades. Was It Witchcraft? The Mystery of Flight 990 Despite the initial lack of any evidence of foul play in the crash of EgyptAir Flight 990 off the coast of Massachusetts, European newspapers clung hopefully to that possibility Monday. The Italian newspapers were particularly interested in the mystery of "Luciano Porcari," which, according to the Federal Aviation Administration, is the signature on a letter it received in September, warning that a bomb might be placed aboard an airliner departing from either New York or Los Angeles. The FAA noted that a man named Luciano Porcari hijacked a Spanish plane in 1977 and was sent briefly to prison for it. But, according to Corriere della Sera of Milan, the FAA "seems not to know" that the same Porcari, now aged 50, is currently in prison in Naples for a different crime. He was arrested in 1994 for stabbing his girlfriend to death in the central Italian city of Orvieto. "But if it's not Porcari, who is hiding behind his identity?" the paper asked. "It is a mystery within a mystery." Another common urge was to associate the crash with Halloween. The Washington correspondent of La Repubblica of Rome began an overblown front-page article as follows: "On the night of American witches--Halloween--right in the nest of American witches--Massachusetts--the spell that swallowed up four aircraft in four years in the same stretch of sky and sea seems to have been beating its wings and to have consumed another 217 lives flying on an Egyptian Boeing." He said the world's media now regard that stretch of sky and sea as "cursed"--"another Bermuda Triangle ready for the new millennium"--but he went on to explain prosaically that the flight paths up the East Coast of the United States are in fact neither "bewitched nor cursed, but simply the busiest in the world." As President Clinton began talks with the Israeli and Palestinian leaders in Oslo, Norway, Monday, Ha'aretz said Israel still has no united policy on a Middle East peace settlement. In a front-page report, the paper said Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Barak will offer statehood to the Palestinians in the "framework agreement" they are due to sign next February and in exchange will demand that the Palestinians recognize West Jerusalem as the Israeli capital; but the paper said in an editorial that "the parties have yet to deal with the heart of the conflict." International confidence in Israel was restored following Barak's defeat of Benjamin Netanyahu in the general election, but "[c]onfidence-building measures can no longer suffice at this stage," it said. "The Oslo summit, therefore, is an important reminder of decisions yet to be made, without which the summit will remain only a ceremony, without any of the requisite diplomatic content to advance the process." The Jakarta Post marked the departure of the last Indonesian troops from East Timor by describing Indonesia's 24-year war to keep control of the territory as "an historic error." But in an editorial Monday, the paper was optimistic about the future. "With the kind of wise and democratic leadership that now exists in Jakarta--and hopefully in the near future also in Dili--there is every reason to believe that a rapprochement is possible." The Jakarta Post also quoted East Timorese Nobel Peace Prize laureate Jose Ramos-Horta as ridiculing claims that East Timor would not be viable as a country on its own: "One does not have to be an Einstein to do slightly better than those incompetent, lazy, corrupt bastards who managed our country for 23 years. Sometimes I find it laughable that the Indonesian [authorities] keep telling us that East Timor cannot manage without Indonesia." The Sydney Morning Herald , which reported the Indonesian evacuation under the headline "East Timor's Tormentors Slink Away," ran a long editorial Monday extolling Australia's peacekeeping role and expressing the hope that it might eventually lead to the Association of South East Asian Nations adopting a collective security role in the region. The SMH , which has been campaigning for a republican victory in this Saturday's referendum to rid Australia of the British monarchy, published a pro-monarchy article Monday by Peter Slezak, a lecturer at the University of New South Wales. Slezak's argument is that without the queen, Australia "would be a nation of jingoistic, sentimental flag-wavers. ... [I]t may be the very irrelevance of royalty which has helped protect us from excesses of patriotic fervor," he wrote--comparing Australians favorably with Americans, who "have a cloying sentimentality about their history, their flag, their president and their system." An opinion poll published Monday in the Guardian of London found, surprisingly, that a large proportion of Britons think Australia should ditch the monarchy: Forty percent said it should become a republic and 34 percent that it should keep the queen as its head of state. The Guardian said its poll "could provide a much-needed boost" to Australia's republican campaigners, who have been running slightly behind the monarchists in the latest polls. The cyclone disaster in Orissa on the east coast of India prompted a breast-beating editorial in the Times of India . "Just what is it about us that we feel so helpless before a natural disaster?" it asked. "Our achievements are obviously world class in many spheres, science and technology and computers being among them. We have the almighty nuclear bomb and, yet, we despair when it comes to floods, droughts, cyclones and communicable diseases, many of them entirely avoidable man-made disasters. ... It used to be said of the former Soviet Union that while it excelled in such complicated endeavours as space exploration, the smallest things would fox it--the tap would leak and the flush would not work. Perhaps because we modelled ourselves after that country, we seem to be affected by the same disregard for the smaller details, which, for all their apparent insignificance, matter the most in the end." The French press recovered from its gloom over the European ruling against France in its Mad Cow War with the British and found something to celebrate in France's astounding semifinal victory over the New Zealand "All Blacks" Sunday in the Rugby World Cup tournament in Britain. "The Blues flatten the Blacks" was the four-column front-page headline in Le Figaro of Paris. Even the British press was generous. "All Blacks humbled by a French tour de force" said the Daily Telegraph , calling it "the biggest upset in the history of the Rugby World Cup." The Independent called it "a blaze of gloire " and added: "In a year of remarkable sporting finishes, here was the most unexpected of victories for the most enchanting of underdogs over the most intimidating of favorites. And what, now, will they do for an encore?" The French meet the Australians in the final of the cup in Cardiff next Saturday. Fight Clubbed Fight Club , a movie about a fictional organization of men who strip down and beat each other to pulp, has provoked more than its share of media hand-wringing, particularly diatribes about Hollywood's infatuation with violence and Faludi-esque ruminations about the emasculated American male. Fight Club , however, has not sparked an iota of interest in a real organization of men who strip down and beat each other to pulp: the Ultimate Fighting Championship. UFC's flameout from national sensation to total irrelevance is a tragedy of American sports, a cautionary tale of prudishness, heavy-handed politics, and cultural myopia. UFC began in 1993 as a locker-room fantasy. What would happen if a kickboxer fought a wrestler? A karate champion fought a sumo champion? Promoters built an octagonal chain-link cage, invited eight top martial artists, and set them loose in no-holds-barred, bare-knuckles fights. "There are no rules!" bragged an early press release. Contestants would fight till "knockout, submission, doctor's intervention, or death." UFC allowed, even promoted, all notions of bad sportsmanship: kicking a man when he's down, hitting him in the groin, choking. Four-hundred-pound men were sent into the Octagon to maul guys half their size. Only biting and eye-gouging were forbidden. The gimmick entranced thousands of people (well, men). What happens when a 620-pound sumo champion fights a 200-pound kickboxer? Answer: The kickboxer knocks him silly in 35 seconds. They tuned in for bloodshed--"the damage," as fans like to call it. UFC fights could be horrifying. Tank Abbott, an ill-tempered, 270-pound street fighter, knocks out hapless opponent John Matua in 15 seconds. Then, before the ref can intervene, Abbott belts the unconscious Matua in the head, sending him into a fit, limbs quivering uncontrollably, blood spurting from his mouth. Abbott, naturally, became a cult hero and won a guest spot on Friends . (Matua walked out of the ring.) Soon, UFC was selling out huge arenas and drawing 300,000 pay-per-view subscribers for its quarterly competitions. But a subtle sport was emerging from the gimmicks and carnage. My passion for ultimate fighting (which is also called "extreme" or "no-holds-barred" fighting) began when I saw the finals of UFC IV. Royce Gracie, a 180-pound Brazilian jujitsu specialist, was matched against a 275-pound beast named Dan Severn, one of the top heavyweight wrestlers in the world and a national champion many times over. In 30 seconds, Severn had grabbed Gracie, flung him to the canvas, and mounted him. For the next 15 minutes, Severn pummeled and elbowed and head-butted the smaller man. Gracie's face grew drawn, and he squirmed wildly to avoid Severn's bombardment. Then, all of sudden, Gracie, still lying on his back, saw an opening, wrapped his arms and legs around Severn like a python and choked the giant into submission. UFC's caged matches revolutionized the idea of fighting. Nursed on boxing and Hollywood, Americans imagine fights as choreography, a dance of elegant combinations, roundhouse kicks, clean knockouts. The UFC punctured this. Boxers floundered. Experts in striking martial arts such as karate and tae kwon do, who fancied themselves the world's greatest fighters, found themselves pretzeled by jujitsu masters, who pulled them to the ground and slowly choked or leg-locked them. "UFC immediately debunked a lot of myths of fighting, of boxing, karate, kung fu. It showed the reality of what works in an actual fight," says Dave Meltzer, editor of Wrestling Observer . Instead of being carnivals of gore, UFC fights looked strangely like ... sex. Almost all fights ended on the ground, one man mounting the other in missionary position, the pair of them wiggling mysteriously along the canvas for five, 10, even 30 minutes. There were few spectacular knockouts. The referee--yes, there was always a referee--stopped many bouts, and in most others, fighters "tapped out," surrendering to mild-looking but agonizing chokes and joint locks. It was not barbarism. It was science. The UFC spawned a new breed of "mixed martial artists." World-class wrestlers learned to kickbox. Champion kickboxers learned to grapple. (The karate experts learned to stay home.) They became, without doubt, the best fighters in the world. (Click for more about the fighters.) Mike Tyson wouldn't last 30 seconds in an ultimate fighting match. When Olympic gold medal wrestler Kevin Jackson came to the UFC, a fighter named Frank Shamrock KO'd him with a submission hold in 16 seconds. Ultimate fighting schools began sprouting up all over the country, replacing the stylized gestures of the Eastern martial arts with techniques that actually work. UFC's promoters predicted that it would supplant boxing as America's martial art. Instead, it fell apart. The collapse began in 1996, when Sen. John McCain, R-Ariz., saw a UFC tape. McCain, a lifelong boxing fan, was horrified at the ground fighting, kicks, and head butts. It was "barbaric," he said. It was "not a sport." He sent letters to all 50 governors asking them to ban ultimate fighting. The outcry against "human cockfighting" became a crusade, and like many crusades, it was founded on misunderstanding. UFC fell victim to cultural determinism about what a fight is. In countries such as Brazil and Japan, where no-holds-barred fighting has a long history, it is popular and uncontroversial. But Americans adhere to the Marquis of Queensbury rules. A fight consists of an exchange of upper-body blows that halts when one fighter falls. Any blood sport can be barbaric, whether it's boxing or wrestling or ultimate fighting. It is impossible to draw a bright line between ultimate fighting and boxing. If anything, ultimate fighting is safer and less cruel than America's blood sport. For example, critics pilloried ultimate fighting because competitors fought with bare knuckles: To a nation accustomed to boxing gloves, this seemed revolting, an invitation to brain damage. But it's just the reverse: The purpose of boxing gloves is not to cushion the head but to shield the knuckles. Without gloves, a boxer would break his hands after a couple of punches to the skull. That's why ultimate fighters won't throw multiple skull punches. As a result, they avoid the concussive head wounds that kill boxers--and the long-term neurological damage that cripples them. Similarly, the chain-link fence surrounding the octagon looks grotesque. Critics have demanded that UFC install ropes instead. But ropes are a major cause of death and injury in boxing: Fighters hyperextend their necks when they are punched against the ropes, because nothing stops their heads from snapping back. The chain-link fence prevents hyperextension. When I tell people I'm an ultimate fighting fan, they invariably respond: "Don't people get killed all the time doing that?" But no one has ever been killed at the UFC--though boxers are killed every year. No one has even been seriously injured at the UFC. On the rare occasions when a bout has ended with a bloody knockout, the loser has always walked out of the ring. But this does not impress boxing fans, who are the most vigorous opponents of extreme fighting. McCain sat ringside at a boxing match where a fighter was killed. When I asked him to explain the moral distinction between boxing and ultimate fighting, he exploded at me, "If you can't see the moral distinction, then we have nothing to talk about!" Then he cut our interview short and stormed out of his office. But logic has not served the UFC well. Where McCain led, a prudish nation followed. George Will opined against UFC. The American Medical Association recommended a ban. New York state outlawed ultimate fighting, as did other states. The Nevada Athletic Commission refused to sanction UFC bouts, barring the UFC from the lucrative casino market. (One public TV station refused a UFC sponsorship ad. The only other organization the station ever rejected was the Ku Klux Klan.) Lawsuits blocked or delayed UFC events all over the country, forcing the promoters to spend millions in legal fees. The UFC was exiled from mega-arenas to ever-smaller venues in ever more out-of-the-way states: Louisiana, Iowa, and Alabama. The match I attended in October 1997 was held in the parking lot of a small Mississippi casino. The cable TV industry struck the fatal blow. In early 1997, McCain became chairman of the commerce committee, which oversees the cable industry. In April 1997, the president of the National Cable Television Association warned that UFC broadcasts could jeopardize the cable industry's influence in Washington. Time Warner, TCI, Request, Cablevision Systems, Viewer's Choice, and other major operators stopped airing UFC events, saying they were too violent for children. Never mind that 1) UFC only aired on pay-per-view, so children could not see it unless their parents paid for it; and 2) the same cable outfits carried boxing matches, R and NC-17 movies, and professional wrestling shows far more violent than UFC. The UFC's "addressable audience"--the potential number of PPV subscribers--shrank from 35 million at its peak to 7.5 million today. "It was a very cheap way for the cable companies to portray themselves as anti-violence. It did not cost them much and it made them look good in Washington," says Carol Klenfner, spokeswoman for UFC's parent company, SEG. The ultimate fighting industry did little to help its own cause. The UFC promoted itself less as a serious sport than as a circus of carnage. Its early ads emphasized extreme fighting's potential for death. UFC folks accused McCain, without any evidence, of opposing the sport as a favor to campaign contributors. Extreme fighting was tarnished when fighters from the other ultimate fighting operation, the now-defunct Battlecade, were arrested for violating Canadian prizefighting laws when they fought on an Indian reservation outside Montreal. In the past two years, an increasingly desperate UFC has been trying to assuage its critics. The competition, which had been gradually adding safety rules since the first fight, imposed even more. It institued rounds and a "10-point must" scoring system. It banned head butts and groin strikes. You can no longer kick a downed man or elbow someone in the back of the head. Fighters are required to wear thin martial arts gloves (a purely cosmetic change). The UFC imposed weight classes, ending the David-and-Goliath mismatches that made early fights so compelling. None of this soothed the cable operators, who have kept UFC off the air. The pay-per-view audience has plunged from 300,000 per show to 15,000. UFC can no longer afford its best fighters: Some are fighting overseas. Others, notably Ken Shamrock (Frank's brother), have become pro wrestlers. Fights have deteriorated. UFC is limping along, but it has been reduced to scheduling events in Japan and Brazil. "Sports fans want to grow with the sport," says former UFC fighter David Beneteau. "They want to recognize the athletes. They want to see the same fighters come back. When you compare UFC now to what it was, the fighters are not the same, the rules are not the same. The fans have no story to follow." Even as it disappears from public view, ultimate fighting is returning to its roots. Away from the scrutiny of the major media, state legislators, and McCain, kids are still learning mixed martial-arts techniques, and small-time promoters are quietly staging events. You can see Kage Kombat competitions at Dancing Waters nightclub in San Pedro, Calif. You can watch the Warrior's Challenge at a small Indian casino outside Sacramento. Texans compete in Houston's Dungal All Styles Fighting Championship. Tribal casinos in Northern Idaho are hosting small Pankration tournaments. The Extreme Fighting Challenge is popular in Iowa. The money is low; the crowds are small; and there's not a TV camera in sight. Ultimate fighting should have become boxing. Instead it has gone underground. It has become Fight Club. No. 333: "In No Sense" Thomas Nelson Publishers, Nashville, Tenn., has announced the March release of a book with the working title The Death of Innocence . Name the author and subject. ( Question courtesy of Jon Delfin.) Send your answer by noon ET Tuesday to newsquiz@slate.com . Friday's Question (No. 332)--"Believe It or Else": In a TV commercial debuting this week, the spokesperson says: "It made people believe again, feel free again." Who's pitching what? "Does Cher really need to publicize that song anymore? It's a hit, a triumphant comeback, we get it."-- Matt Sullivan "The New York Times : now with zero percent Abe Rosenthal!"-- Daniel Radosh ( Tim Carvell had a similar answer.) "At last, they've published the Singer/Songwriters of the '70s Almost-Rhyming Dictionary !"-- Jon Delfin "Whatever it is, if that's James Earl Jones doing the voice-over, I'm buying!"-- David Lofquist "I don't know all the answers, fella. But I do know that the guy ... the Taiwanese guy ... the guy over there, in charge, in Taiwan ... his name is ... Lee. No ... Chang ... No, Lee... either Lee or Chang or Wong. Did I say Lee? I meant to say Wong."-- Chris W. Kelly Click for more answers. Randy's Wrap-Up Many respondents conflated feeling free and feeling fresh. The distinction between the two is apparent in Martin Luther King Jr.'s eloquent and moving, "I Have a Dream" speech, which would have been much less effective had he concluded, "Fresh at last, fresh at last, thank God almighty, I'm fresh at last." In American history, "feeling free" refers to ridding the nation of an oppressive monarch, a view expressed in the Declaration of Independence. In American advertising, "feeling fresh" refers to ridding oneself of vaginal odor, a view expressed by a fashion model clad in white who has plucked every hair from her body and then painted in some artificial eyebrows and perhaps drawn a silhouette of Thomas Jefferson to replace her pubic hair. It's like aromatherapy as political expression: "We have nothing to fear but is there a funny smell in here? Is it me?" That's the slogan Naomi Wolf was paid $15,000 a month to provide Al Gore. Or was it "The Sweet Smell of No Sex!" Or the rule-of-three, "Odorless, Colorless, Tasteless!" Or perhaps it was alpha-malevolent: "Now With Real Beef Aroma." Somebody stop me. Was it "Scents and Fiscal Sensibility"? Hang on. Do I smell smoke? Yes, it's me. I'm hot! And menstrual. Somebody turn a hose on me! Little Me Answer New York Mayor Rudolph Giuliani is pitching himself. In a spot running only in upstate New York--the mayor is particularly popular with those who've never lived where he governs--he touts his economic policies. Just before he delivers his toothy slogan, the narrator says: "Rudy Giuliani got to work, creating a record 341,000 new jobs. Cutting taxes over $2 billion. Leading people off welfare and requiring those on it to work. Rudy has made New York the safest large city in America." What the narrator does not say is that one fourth of all New Yorkers live below the poverty line, a number that has not improved under this mayor, even after nine years of economic expansion. But maybe that will be on the bumper stickers. B&N Extra Below, excerpts from a Barnes & Nobel ad describing books whose authors will be appearing at various New York City branches of the chain. Can you identify each book and author? Ad Copy 1. "insights on the power of music from a wide swath of people ranging from Henry David Thoreau to Billy Joel" 2. "reams of astute and acerbic correspondence" 3. "a stirring look at a man unafraid to stir things up" 4. "entertainment for your whole mouth" 5. "a tender look at childhood" 6. "a father-son bond involving a majestic tree" 7. "a super rich gel that will give you the most comfortable shave ever" Answers 1. Spirit Into Sound , by Mickey Hart 2. Sincerely, Andy Rooney 3. Gore Vidal , by Fred Kaplan 4. Not actually a book; this is the tag line from a pack of Pop Rocks which also includes the sub-head, "more action" neither of which would be an entirely inaccurate blurb for the Vidal biography. 5. The Blue Spruce , by Mario Cuomo 6. That Cuomo book again. And I'm sure writing it was much more rewarding than being president of the United States. 7. More father-son bonding from Mario Cuomo? No. A tender passage from the back of a can of Edge Pro Gel. Common Denominator Fire down below. Address your e-mail to the editors to letters@slate.com. You must include your address and daytime phone number (for confirmation only). Slate Gets Booted Oh, how the mighty have fallen. Slate , formerly the new bastion of journalistic integrity, the watchdog of all media, has blown it. Or at least Jacob Weisberg has in "Positively Fourth-Rate." First, let me say that I very much agree that most of the time snobbish aficionados trumpeting the obscure B-side, bootleg, or rare import are nothing but annoying. However, when it comes to Bob Dylan, I begin to suspect that Weisberg is not much of a fan or a fact checker. First, Greil Marcus does get rather obsessive, but the song "I'm Not There" is readily available on the "illegal Basement Tapes bootlegs." I personally own it on two different collections, one a five volume collection of all known Basement Tapes recordings titled The Genuine Basement Tapes (the history of which is detailed by Clinton Heylin in his book Bootleg ) as well as a bootleg greatest hits collection called The Genuine Bootleg Series, Take 2 . I live in Kansas, the middle of the Midwest, and these CDs were easy to find in local stores. Anyone with Internet access or living in a larger metropolitan area should be able to hunt down "I'm Not There" in less than an hour. Second, I personally disagree with the given assessment of the 1966 concert; I love the whole thing and, having heard many a live Dylan tape, consider it one of the better live concerts out there, and certainly one of the best-sounding recordings from the '60s. The bootleg recording is not like the standard pop album; it is by nature released mainly for the die-hard fan or collector, and while there is a great deal of dross to sort through, there are a lot of wonderful moments if you take the time to find them. Furthermore (and what you should be writing about), the bootleg industry is currently undergoing a revolution in production, thanks to the introduction of CD-ROM technology, which effectively means that anything ever bootlegged is readily available. While CD-ROMs with color copies for inserts lose a great deal of the artifact value boots used to have, the resulting availability is ample compensation, especially since it has forced producers of traditional, higher-fidelity aluminum CDs to increase their standards, with better liner notes, more photos, and higher quality packages. Bootlegs preserve music that otherwise would have been lost forever and allow music fans, as opposed to consumers of pop music, access to a much fuller canon of musicians' work. -- Neil Dryden Lawrence, Kan. Political Uses of a Dead White Woman? Your "Frame Game" title "St. Matthew: The political use of a gay man's gruesome death" strikes me as harsh and callous. While the content of the article on Matthew Shepard's murder is thoughtful if analytical in tone, the heading seems to support the idea of a gay person as a symbol, but not as an equal. Would you ever have written "Political Uses of a Dead White Woman"? -- Patrick Meade New York City Yes, Health Care Is Unfair Thank you for "Sickbed Populism," your well-balanced article on health maintenance organizations. You are on target with your suggestion. Republicans should counter with logical, informative statements that point out the costs involved in litigation. Sadly, the average citizen doesn't seem to understand that financial settlements are not manna from heaven. My husband works in health care, and we often discuss related issues. One of the major problems HMOs are facing is inadequate Medicare reimbursement. Someone has to absorb the loss. The provider? I don't think so. The patient? Not politically correct. As a society we may have to face facts. Maybe we shouldn't save every premature baby regardless of the cost. Maybe we shouldn't attempt to extend the life of every individual. We want it all and want it to be free. Life isn't fair ... never has been. You can bet no one will ever elect me to public office. I'm way too truthful. -- Margaret T. Richman Metamora, Ill. Nothing but Talk Is Cheap Re "Sickbed Populism": So HMO patients shouldn't complain because they are getting "cheap" medical care. Well, I belong to Kaiser Permanente Senior Care, for which the government sends Kaiser $390 (!) per month to care for me. Does David Plotz think that is "cheap"? And the care I have received is not "managed" care, but mismanaged care. As soon as I can, I will be changing to some other plan, which means I will probably have to go back to work to pay for it. -- Dee Townsend Annandale, Va. Address your e-mail to the editors to letters@slate.com. You must include your address and daytime phone number (for confirmation only). Grocery Store Grazer Please send your questions for publication to prudence@slate.com. Dear Prudence, I would appreciate your views about an experience I had recently. I was at the supermarket buying bulk candy (a confection called "Hokey Pokey"). It's in a bin, you scoop it into a bag, write the bin number on the twist-tie, and pay for it by the pound at the checkout. As I was writing the bin number on the tie, I noticed a woman politely waiting for me to finish. I moved out of the way, then she--I know you see this coming--scooped up a handful of Hokey Pokey and popped it in her mouth. I didn't say or do anything, and now I wish I had. It's irritating enough that I and other shoppers have to cover the cost of in-store snacks for her and others. But I have recently become a parent and wonder how I should react to this type of situation if I were with an inquisitive child. Do you think I should have said something to the woman? Should I have told the manager? I'm interested in your opinion. --R. in St. Paul, Minn. Dear R., This is one of those public issues where the act seems minor, but the collective price is significant. It is of course, as you perceived, an ethical lapse. As for the questions you raise, Prudie thinks you were correct not to say anything because that would have undoubtedly led to a brouhaha in the aisle--perhaps with some Hokey Pokey being lobbed. It would also have seemed petty to go to the manager and tattle--mostly because he would probably have been disinclined to approach her and say, "I was informed you've been eating the Hokey Pokey." Arrests at candy bins are probably rare. Had Prudie been there, in lieu of saying anything, she might have made eye contact with the woman and then raised an eyebrow, the message being "My dear, what behavior!" If your child was old enough to witness the candy bin caper and wondered why the woman was eating from the bin, you would have been perfectly within the bounds of propriety to say, "You are quite right. What the lady is doing is dishonest, but we are not in charge of other people." If the transgressor were to hear this, you'd be in the clear because you would not have been talking to her ... and she would be just as embarrassed as if you had been. In sum, what you witnessed was petty thievery, not someone poisoning the city water supply, and no person was being harmed. You did the correct thing by not trying to be a policeman. The key to the question: To intervene or not to intervene, is judgment. That's what it's all about. --Prudie, judiciously Dear Prudence, I have a situation. I have a good friend of the opposite sex who I've known for three years. Although he was initially attracted to me, the feeling wasn't mutual, so we became platonic friends. He even got married recently. The thing is, we've become closer--and now I'm attracted to him. We haven't had sex, but a frolic or two has occurred. Since I've never thought of myself as "the other woman" type, we are not hanging out again until this goes away. His friendship is important to me, and I take those duties seriously. Do you think we can go back to being really good friends sans frolic? Or does my wish to be a good friend require severing the relationship? Help!!!! --Where the Hell Did This Come From? Dear Where, It is quite likely that you are suffering from the Grass-Is-Greener Syndrome. And, oh, to know what a frolic is! The image it suggests to your steadfast adviser is of two children dancing in a meadow ... though Prudie knows this can't be what you mean. And when you say the friendship is on hold "until this goes away," what, exactly, is "this"? The wife? The marriage? The attraction? Perhaps what needs to go away is you; that is, put the kibosh on the get-togethers. The electricity is not going to diminish, because most men like to ... frolic. If you are sincere about being a friend, you will save him from himself by keeping your distance. Not entirely unmarried men are seldom worth the trouble. --Prudie, definitively Dear Prudence, Having read many cases in which you handled tricky situations very adeptly, I am hoping you can help me do the same with mine. I have known a good friend for several years now (we are both graduate students within a small department), and we've always gotten along very well. However, I have noticed that there is a great turnover in her circle of friends each year as people inevitably get dropped. To compensate, she always seems to turn to a new crowd (usually new arrivals in the department) about whom she is wild for a while, until the ardor cools. Several people have noticed that she pursues people to add to her collection of friends, and she takes great pride in bragging about all the people she knows. She is intelligent, attractive, and friendly, but it seems to me she turns on the extroversion to hide insecurity. Having been her friend for years and watched this happen again and again, I had thought I was immune. But alas, in the last months I seem to have been increasingly blacklisted. She still refers to me as a friend, but I feel I am treated quite coldly now. I hate to see this hurtful pattern continue. Prudie, work your magic! --Newest Odd Man Out Dear New, OK, abracadabra: Clap your hands together three times and say, "All right, I'm out of this game." The "friend" sounds like the kind of person we used to call "a user" in junior high, or "a narcissist" in grown-up psychological circles. At best, this soi-disant queen bee is fickle, so what is there about the friendship that is of value? Since it's easier to change one's own behavior than that of another, you might want to consider why this person is important to you. There is perhaps an element of your having felt like the chosen one--someone so marvelous that even a notoriously picky person could not discard you. This is not what friendship is about. Prudie is sympathetic, however, because narcissistic people are often attractive. The problem is that they're not worth it. --Prudie, magically Dear Prudie, My dilemma has to do with one-upmanship. A close relative, my father's oldest sister, has a terrible habit of having "the worst case the doctor ever saw," or "the worst (whatever) the mechanic ever dealt with." No matter what difficulties anyone else present has, hers are always worse. Our family get-togethers seem more like a meeting of pathologists, each trying to dredge up more horrific experiences. How can I keep this from happening at our upcoming family reunion? (I am hosting it.) I am aware that this woman is very emotionally needy, but it's all getting to be too much. --B.D. Dear B., Where is your sense of humor? The battle of the calamities is really kind of funny--and if you're onto it, so must everyone else be. Actually, it sounds like a nice change from the more common, "My neurologist is the best in the country." Those who truck in superlatives are recognized by thinking people as loose talkers and are not taken very seriously. Prudie doesn't see what the harm is, and perhaps some light joshing in Auntie's direction--since she seems to egg on everyone else--might advance your goal of diminishing the family game of "Can You Top This?" --Prudie, pragmatically Jew Talkin' to Me? Barry Levinson has said that his new movie, Liberty Heights , was born when a magazine critic made a breezily derisive reference to the Jewishness of Dustin Hoffman's character in Levinson's dud sci-fi picture Sphere (1998). Why, he asked, make an issue out of a character's ethnicity? The barbs of that (Jewish) critic don't seem like such a big deal to this (Jewish) critic, but in Levinson they clearly touched a nerve. Trounced a nerve, even. He has responded the way his teen-age alter ego Ben Kurtzman (Ben Foster) and friends respond in Liberty Heights when they defy a sign on a local pool that reads, "No Jews, Dogs, or Coloreds Allowed." He's saying, "You got a problem with Jewish? I'll show you Jewish!" Does Levinson fully understand what teed him off? The charismatic young men in Diner (1982), his first autobiographical work (and his masterpiece), weren't labeled as Jewish, and its most memorable turns were by actors named Kevin and Mickey. In his third on-screen visit to his native Baltimore, Avalon (1990), the milieu finally was Jewish, but the director was more interested in making sweeping points about the cultural fragmentation of the central immigrant family--and, by extension, the American family--than in exploring his tribal or religious roots. (That family was impersonated by those Hebrews Aidan Quinn, Elizabeth Perkins, Armin Mueller-Stahl, and Joan Plowright.) The point is: Levinson airbrushed the Jewishness out of his movie memoirs, and that review must on some level have shamed him--made him feel as if he'd been dodging the issue. The problem, I think, is that he's still dodging the issue. Levinson might be so assimilated by now that he barely remembers what would impel someone to filter the Jewishness out of his or her autobiographical alter egos. On the basis of the family depicted in Liberty Heights , he hardly seems to remember what a Jew is--only what a Jew is not. It's not a WASP. It's not an African-American. As a boy in the exclusively Jewish Liberty Heights section of Baltimore, being Jewish was just being ; it was when he perceived his "otherness," the movie suggests, that a more complicated relationship to the world began. That's what Liberty Heights attempts to recapture. The movie opens in 1954, when 16-year-old Ben first pokes his head out of his neighborhood and when desegregation is starting to bring together disparate ethnic and racial groups. Jews are not only interacting with WASPs and blacks; in the case of Ben and his older brother, Van (Adrien Brody), they're falling for them--much to the horror of the older generation, both white and black. Ben takes a shine to a "colored" girl (Rebekah Johnson), who sneaks him into her (upper-middle-class) house and introduces him to rock 'n' roll and to comedians who make fun of white people. Meanwhile, Van and his buddies crash a Halloween party on the WASP side of town, where Van goes gaga for a chill blonde goddess (Carolyn Murphy) in a fairy-godmother ensemble--the supreme shiksa. Even their dad, Nate (Joe Mantegna), is forced to ally himself with non-Jews. The owner of a dying burlesque house whose side business, the illegal numbers racket, has become his lone source of income, Nate loses a fortune to a small-time black drug dealer called Little Melvin (Orlando Jones)--a loose cannon who ultimately threatens his livelihood and his family. Levinson's remarks about the review of Sphere --which was released only last year--suggest something else about Liberty Heights : that it was written fast. That might not be a problem if its canvas weren't so broad, but Levinson doesn't work simply anymore. He wants to make an epic. So he spreads the narrative thin, and the script plays like a first draft. It's full of wonderful bits that don't mesh (some of them could be spun off into their own movies) and with characters conceived either too coarsely or too vaguely. Little Melvin is a flaming racist outrage, and I can't make any sense out of Trey (Justin Chambers), a glamorous, rich WASP who's fond of crashing cars and who takes such a liking to Van that he appears to be foisting his girlfriend--the blonde goddess--on the Jew. Is this Aryan guilt, or does he really want to jump Van's bones? No clue from the actors, who look uniformly marooned. The crosscutting among the movie's various strands is even weirder. While Van and his buddies comb wealthy neighborhoods for a glimpse of his shiksa, Nate auditions a stripper whose costume doesn't arrive and who ends up doffing her conservative street clothes on stage to wild acclaim. Is Levinson drawing a parallel here--saying that Jews are turned on by WASPs because they're so buttoned-up? (I think, alas, he is.) And when he crosscuts between a James Brown concert and a WASP party is he saying that Jews are turned on by blacks because blacks are so unbuttoned--because they shake, rattle, and roll? (Ditto.) Is he saying that coming of age as a Jew means learning to embrace both chocolate and vanilla? In the end, the narrator, Ben, retreats into generic memory-play mode: "If I'd known things would no longer be, I'd have tried harder to remember them." Loss of the past--that's a universal theme, a "gentile" theme. The director has backed away from what appears to be his real, more local, theme, which is the tug of war within American Jews of his generation between a compulsion to embrace other cultures and a feeling of superiority toward them. That idea is hilariously embodied by his best character, Van's friend Yussel (David Krumholtz), who starts a brawl when he gets his nose rubbed in his Jewishness at one WASP party and shows up for the next with his hair dyed blond and with a tale of Nordic ancestry. I wish there were more of Yussel in Ben and Van, who are both unforgivably wide-eyed and marshmallowy. Their blandness neuters what should be the movie's reason for being. Liberty Heights is less gaseous than Avalon . The Jewish boys' exploration of life among the "other kind" is often wryly funny, and when they show up at the familiar Baltimore diner to compare notes, time stops and we bask in their banter. If I sound sour compared with other critics, it's because I think Levinson missed a chance to get something unique and audacious on screen: the story of a thin-skinned Jewish kid who'd grow up to make autobiographical movies that somehow leave out the Jewishness and then get so enraged by a critic's offhand projection of Jewishness into a big WASPy sci-fi picture that he vows to go back and remake his other films with Jews instead of gentiles. That would be something to see. Critics have been falling all over themselves to announce that All About My Mother marks Pedro Almodvar's arrival as a mature, world-class director. Not to take anything away from his movie--it's a lovely work--but Almodvar arrived as a world-class director 15 years ago, when his silly, campy, and impassioned melodramas were like joyous dances on Gen. Franco's tomb. His new work is his most sober, maybe because his alter ego--an 18-year-old devoted son, aspiring writer, and worshipper of flamboyant actresses--gets run over by a car while chasing an actress (who'd just played Blanche DuBois) for her autograph. This shocking act of self-effacement paves the way for a film suffused by the boy's loss. His grief-stricken mother (Cecilia Roth) goes off in search of the father the boy never met--now an AIDS-ridden transvestite in Barcelona--and ends up at the center of a benign matriarchal society that includes the very actress (Marisa Paredes) that her son was pursuing. The film has been consciously devised as the flip side of All About Eve (1950)--as a tale of women not bitchily at one another's throats but holding one another together through life's most senseless tragedies. (The definition of women here is broad enough to include transvestites and transsexuals.) Things that might once have been screamingly campy are now played "straight": People dramatize their emotions but rarely overdramatize them. And even though the film is full of laughs, the jokes hover on the edge of the abyss: This is a world in which lurid colors and extravagant gestures are means of filling the void. Almodvar's movies are the transparent reveries of a gay, star-struck adolescent. Most of us have equivalent fantasies, but we'd be ashamed to expose ourselves by putting them out there. Almodvar--even here, in his square, Douglas Sirk mode--gives them the kind of soul that banishes embarrassment. I'm embarrassed to admit it, but Pierce Brosnan is growing on me. Ian Fleming's James Bond was a snob and a lightweight. It was only Sean Connery's peculiar combination of traits--he could seem rugged and snooty at once--that made us think 007 a more interesting character than he was. In The World Is Not Enough , Brosnan brings the right Flemingesque irritation to the opening chase. Unlike Roger Moore, who seemed detached from the action (as well as from his stunt double), and Timothy Dalton, who seemed above it, Brosnan makes you believe that Bond's absurd feats are the plausible upshot of his refusal to be bested by social or sexual inferiors. The actor is still sleek, but the touch of crepe paper around his face has eliminated the plastic, department-store-mannequin look that Remington Steele exploited so shrewdly. He's vulnerable now: You don't want his sewn-on suit to get wrinkled, because fine tailoring appears to be all this man has. He even winces in pain a couple of times, and in the climax lets out a grunt that takes the Bond girl (the dire Denise Richards) aback. The movie is better than you've heard, although that's not saying a lot. I confess I always want to like the latest Bond flick. I have a Pavlovian reaction to the pre-title black-white-and-red bit with Monty Norman's theme and the gun site roving over the latest 007 as he saunters to the center of the frame--I go, "Kill 'em, Bond!" Much has been made of hiring Michael Apted to bring a more human touch to the series. There's only so much a director can do with the most ironclad formula in movies, but Apted's documentary instincts give the eastern European locations more personality, and the dialogue scenes aren't as choppy as usual: Brosnan and his co-stars actually get a rhythm going. There's even a rare performance from one of the "Bond girls," Sophie Marceau, as a damsel in distress who turns out to be very distressed--psychologically--by a previous kidnapping attempt. Plus, she has a long, rounded chin that I find mysteriously intoxicating. The filmmakers drop the ball, though, on their master villain, Renard, who has a bullet in his brain that renders him impervious to physical pain. Robert Carlyle is a wonderful (and frightening) actor, but the movie pumps him up to be such a terminator--"his only goal is chaos, and he grows stronger every day until he dies"--that when this little guy comes shambling on and turns out to be such a soulful twit, the movie loses all its credibility. Apted might be too much of a humanist for a Bond picture. It's not so bad that the blows aren't heavily amplified, but when the bad guys get it there isn't that extra sadistic beat to let you know how surprised they are that their aura of invincibility has been punctured. I kept thinking, "Kill 'em again, Bond!" Israel's Religious Crisis As Christian churches in Nazareth stayed shut in protest at Tuesday's cornerstone-laying ceremony for a new mosque on the site where the angel Gabriel is said to have told Mary she would give birth to Jesus Christ, Le Figaro of Paris led its front page Wednesday with the headline "Vatican-Israel: Open Crisis." In a front-page editorial the paper criticized the Israeli government's decision to authorize the construction of the mosque opposite the Christian Basilica of the Annunciation. "To choose to build an Islamic religious edifice on the precise spot where Gabriel appeared to Mary is deliberately to overthrow the sacred order that everyone has respected for centuries," the paper said. The Times of London said in an editorial that "relations between Christians and Muslims in the Holy Land have suddenly sunk to their lowest level for generations." The paper said, "Tensions have been stirred by the Vatican's strong and unhelpful denunciation of the Israeli authorities and by the decision of the Christian clergy to make a stand as a way of recapturing dwindling influence. The result is an unholy and distinctly unseemly row that threatens lasting damage to Christian-Muslim relations worldwide." The Israeli daily Ha'aretz reported that the inaugural ceremony, which was attended by no representative of the Israeli government, went ahead smoothly, despite the efforts of Palestinian leader Yasser Arafat to prevent it. The paper said Arafat's unexpected alliance with the Christians was part of his strategy to win Christian support in future negotiations with Israel over Jerusalem. "Arafat wants Pope John Paul II to use his March visit to Israel to affirm that the Vatican does not recognize Israeli control over East Jerusalem, which the Palestinians claim as the capital of their future independent state," Ha'aretz said. In interviews with La Repubblica of Rome and Corriere della Sera of Milan, the head of the Franciscan order in Israel, which, since 1331, has been charged by the Vatican with guarding the Christian sites in the Holy Land, said the land on which the mosque is to be built was previously earmarked as a parking lot for buses carrying Christian pilgrims to Nazareth during the millennium. Father Giovanni Batistelli said Israel's reason for authorizing the mosque is "to divide the Israeli Arabs, to foment disagreement between Christians and Muslims, thus weakening both of them--perhaps to drive them all out of the Holy Land one day." But Father Batistelli said the pope should not cancel his planned visit to the region in March. "Canceling his visit to Nazareth would leave the city's Christians even more alone, when they need all the support they can get," he said. An opinion poll published in the Jerusalem Post Wednesday showed 32 percent of Israelis in favor of the mosque and 68 percent against. There was widespread pessimism about the prospects for the forthcoming Seattle conference of the World Trade Organization. Several European papers fronted the failure of the WTO's 135 member states to agree on a joint declaration to submit to the conference. The Financial Times fronted Clinton's failure to persuade other world leaders to join him in Seattle. The FT also said that "big divergences over agriculture and implementation of existing agreements finally scuppered all chances of accord on a draft text, which would only have laid out a set of choices for ministers to make on the scope and objectives of the negotiations." It also quoted European Union Trade Commissioner Pascal Lamy saying that the Seattle meeting might fail to launch a new trade round. Le Monde of Paris led its front page Wednesday with France's education minister denouncing the United States for wanting to include education in the WTO talks. The minister, Claude Allgre, told the paper that this represented America seeking hegemony and that "uniform teaching would lead to a uniform world." The South China Morning Post noted that Chinese President Jiang Zemin has uttered hardly a word in public about the recent U.S.-China trade agreement. "Mr Jiang, normally given to long-winded speeches, has maintained an eerie reticence," according to a comment piece Wednesday. It attributed this to the president's fears that WTO membership could precipitate an economic and political crisis in China. In an editorial, the SCMP said that the front-runners in the U.S. presidential race are showing a "reasonable perspective" on China rather than going for quick political gains by demonizing the country in their quest for votes. "Perhaps a stable realism will emerge once the elections are over, permitting relations which lack the damaging mood swings of recent years," it concluded. Italian newspapers continued to debate the behavior of the Oscar-winning actor-director of Life Is Beautiful , Roberto Benigni, who smothered President Clinton with kisses during the Florence summit last weekend. The Christian-Democrat Avvenire compared him to a woodpecker and said he should be appointed state jester. Il Manifesto , a Communist daily, said it expected the pope to be the next victim of "the little devil's" mouth-to-mouth kissing. The official China Daily reported from Sri Lanka Wednesday a ruling by that country's superior court that elephants have a right to be happy. The case was brought by an animal lover after the Sri Lanka national zoo sold a bull elephant that had killed two of its trainers to a gem dealer for $113,000. The court ordered that before the sale of an elephant is completed, the would-be owner must convince a state-appointed official that the elephant will be given suitable shelter, enough food, proper health care, and plenty of love. Keeping elephants as pets is considered a status symbol in Sri Lanka, the China Daily said. Lessons of the WTO Summit The Indian press has grown a little smug since the collapse of the Seattle trade talks and the victory of the Indian representative in the Miss World competition in London this weekend. The Hindu said Sunday that the "big revelation" of the World Trade Organization conference was that, perhaps for the first time, developing countries insisted on being heard. It also noted "an incredibly sloppy organisation in one of the wealthiest cities in the world's richest country," which it said "bordered on the ludicrous. Ministers of some of the smaller developing countries were denied entry to halls where closed talks between the larger countries were on. When they did manage to get past security they found no chairs for them. And senior government delegates complained that as the negotiations stretched early into Friday morning, there was no drinking water available either." The ambassador of one small developing country told the Hindu , "Seattle was a lesson in humility to a group of developed countries which thinks it owns the WTO." In an editorial Monday about the crowning of Yukta Mookhey, 20, a zoology graduate from Mumbai, as Miss World 1999, the Times of India said it was not her achievement alone. "That India produces such beauty--physical and intellectual--is entirely due to the fantastic genetic pool it draws upon and the cross fertilisation of ideas it swears by," the paper said. "While taking to modernity with great gusto, we have made this otherwise terrifying monster in our own image. While other civilisations, with their 'insect origins,' fumble with such ideas as the timeless and ethereal qualities of a woman's beauty, our beginnings attest to these ideals from time immemorial. The Indian achievement is a combination of lightness and gravitas, of bridging the gap between the highbrow and the middlebrow, and rediscovering for itself the inextricable link between the body, mind and soul." The paper contains much more in this self-congratulatory vein. The Financial Times of London called the collapse of the WTO talks a "disaster" and a "calamity" for which the United States and the European Union were mostly to blame. "The WTO is not some alien monster, but their own creation," the FT said Monday in an editorial. "They must now save it from the consequences of their cowardice and folly." Otherwise, the rule of law in world trade would be replaced by the law of the jungle. Papers around the world struggled to identify the lessons of Seattle. Le Monde of Paris called it a victory for "a new idea"--that "the world is not for sale." The protesters in Seattle, it said in an editorial, were pleading for "a new world order, one of an open world but of a world which isn't, under any circumstances, reduced to mere merchandise." Writing Monday in the National Post of Canada, David Frum said that the demonstrations were symptoms of an "ever-worsening global problem-shortage." He wrote, "With peace and prosperity blanketing ever larger stretches of the globe--with nuclear weapons being decommissioned and Unionists and Nationalists entering into government together in Northern Ireland--we are in danger of reaching a state of affairs where there is nothing left to protest." An editorial in Australia's Sydney Morning Herald Monday said it was the failure among WTO member states to put the common good above vested interests, and not the street demonstrations, that caused the collapse of the conference. "To ignore this in favour of viewing the resulting impasse as a victory of the forces of light (ordinary people or at least their self-appointed representatives) over the forces of darkness (that is, proponents of free trade) is to create a false, misleading, and ultimately harmful dichotomy," the paper said. The Jerusalem Post said the Seattle riots proved "that the prediction of the end of history was premature." An editorial in Sunday's paper said, "The ideological struggles of the twentieth century may have culminated over the past decade with the unquestionable triumph of capitalism over socialism, but that has not meant that strong--and strongly felt--differences of opinion over what our capitalist future will look like do not abound." In Japan, Asahi Shimbun said Sunday that the failure of the talks had damaged the credibility of the WTO and given the United States "a black eye." The paper said it is clear that one of the organization's greatest challenges is to convince the public of the advantages of freer trade but that the conference could not have come at a worse time: "Washington lacked leadership in painting a future for the WTO, and its conference was void of passion and vision." Following the death after an attempted robbery in Monaco of billionaire Syrian-born banker Edmond J. Safra, the Jerusalem Post Sunday praised his work for Israeli Sephardim through the International Sephardi Education Foundation, of which he was the chief benefactor. Leon Levy, president of the American Sephardi Federation, described Safra as "devoted to Jewish life in the world." Safra's largess also included chairs at the universities of Harvard and Pennsylvania, synagogues, hospitals, the New York Holocaust Museum, and the Institute for Sephardic Studies at Yeshiva University in New York City. Three years ago, he donated Albert Einstein's earliest manuscript on the theory of relativity to the Israel Museum in Jerusalem. Wiener Whining at Super 8 It is a well-known fact that the Shopping Avenger keeps a special place in his heart for the downtrodden and the outcast, including, but not limited to, the poor, the indigent, the day traders, and the blind. When the Shopping Avenger sees the forces of rampant capitalism manhandling an unfortunate soul, he will fly to the rescue straightaway, unless he's busy leading anarchists into battle on the streets of Seattle, or napping. But there is one group whose persecution will instantaneously get the Shopping Avenger into superhero mode, and that is: wiener dogs. The Shopping Avenger loves wiener dogs. The Shopping Avenger loves all animals, but he especially loves animals that have no discernible legs. So when Ms. Gale Hogsten of South Carolina wrote to complain that the Super 8 motel chain abused her wiener dog, along with the rest of her family, the Shopping Avenger donned his codpiece and cape and superhero tights--though not necessarily in that order--and launched himself into battle. Super 8 is a major motel chain--it is two better than Motel 6--but the Shopping Avenger showed no fear. But first, the Shopping Avenger will let Gale Hogsten tell the story. "As Hurricane Floyd was coming our way, I booked a room near Atlanta, so we could get the heck out of here," the aggrieved Ms. Hogsten writes. "What Super 8 did was to call Hurricane Floyd a 'special event,' hence they were able to charge any damn price they wanted to. Our family got the regular rate of $48 the first night, however others in the hotel started getting ripped off, being charged $75 the second night and up to $125 the third night. Nothing like the feeling of being homeless and being screwed in the process." The Shopping Avenger endorses the previous statement wholeheartedly. "Like most people, I was traveling with a pet and when I read about this particular Super 8, it did say (still does) that small animals are allowed. We have a wiener dog, a corgi, and a cat. Somehow the idiot at the desk heard we had animals and decided to charge us an extra 10 bucks. What are you going to do, not pay?" Not pay, indeed. "Plus," Hogsten writes, "they never gave us any maid service for three days." The Shopping Avenger made contact with Hogsten via e-mail and learned that her wiener dog, whose name is Rusty, was traumatized by these events, though not as much as Hogsten was traumatized by these events. "What pissed me off personally was charging 10 bucks for the wiener dog," she stated, emphatically. The Shopping Avenger right away made contact with the Super 8 executive offices. Super 8, it turns out, is owned by the Cendant Corp., which owns every hotel and motel room in America and is therefore the sort of unfeeling monopoly that would rob people fleeing a hurricane. Except that the executive who was assigned the difficult task of dealing with the Shopping Avenger, one Jennifer Nemeth, did a provisionally satisfactory job of making the Shopping Avenger happy. "I hear you," she said by way of introduction. "We heard that some of our franchises were doing this sort of thing, and we get angry when we hear about them doing it." Nemeth maintained that Super 8 does not discriminate against short-legged dogs. "We get a lot of letters saying, 'Thanks for letting us bring Fluffy,' that sort of thing." Fluffy? Who ever heard of a wiener dog named Fluffy? But that's not the point. Nemeth promised to investigate the motel in question. She promised to apologize, on behalf of Super 8, to Rusty the wiener dog, and she promised free nights at a Super 8 of Hogsten's choice. Wait till next episode to learn if Super 8 keeps its promises. Now let us contrast the open attitude of Super 8 with that of, oh, U-Haul, the Shopping Avenger's bte noire . The Shopping Avenger is quite positive that, as long as he is reachable via e-mail at Shoppingavenger@slate.com, each month will bring him 10 or 20 or 30 complaints about U-Haul. (Little-known fact: "U-Haul," spelled backward in Aramaic, is "Ponzi.") The Shopping Avenger's new favorite U-Haul story comes from one William Brangham, who states: "I've resisted writing because you no doubt have received thousands of complaints about this company and I thought, 'Why pile on?' But after reading the other complaints you've received about U-Haul, I think it's fair to say that I've got the topper--U-Haul almost killed me." Do tell, Mr. Brangham. "My girlfriend was moving from New York to Vermont. When we picked the truck up (they did honor the reservation) a man brought the vehicle out, parked it out front, and then reached behind the front seat and brought out a bottle of fluid. He opened the hood, poured some of it somewhere in the engine, closed the hood, put the bottle back, and handed me the keys. I asked him what he'd done, and he said, 'Oh, just topping up some stuff.'" If you're thinking "Yikes," you're right. Brangham continues: "My girlfriend was in the driver's seat and she literally couldn't move the wheel six inches in either direction. I got in there and could do little more. ... Then we realized the fluid that had been topped off was power steering fluid. There was a pool of it gathering on the street. I went behind the seat to find five empty bottles of fluid, plus one with about half a cup left. It sure seemed like U-Haul knowingly rented me a faulty truck." But it gets worse. Brangham called U-Haul "customer service," which, in the Shopping Avenger's estimation, is probably a guy named Joe in a phone booth. After waiting a considerable period of time, a U-Haul mechanic showed up, taped up a leaky hose, and left. "It's dark, but we still have one stop across the river in Hoboken. ... I'm driving the truck. In the middle of the Holland Tunnel, doing about 30 mph, the steering wheel drastically stiffens. It's now so hard to steer this huge truck that I have to put my foot up on the dash or on the door to tug the wheel in the direction I need it to go. I'm 6'3" and 195 lbs. and it took every ounce of strength I had to stop from smashing into oncoming traffic in the tunnel. If my five-foot-something, 115-lbs. girlfriend had been driving, there's absolutely no way she could have controlled the truck." Horrible, yes? It gets still worse. "I bought power steering fluid like it was cheap beer, topped off, and away we went." He topped off every few miles. The next day, they drove the truck to a U-Haul center. "Upon arrival, they keep us waiting for an hour and a half because 'the mechanic's not in yet like we told him.' When he finally arrives, he proceeds to tell us incessant stories about how drunk he got the night before and how his hangover is killing him." The mechanic eventually inspected the truck. "You've got a busted hose," he told them. Mr. Brangham writes: "The first U-Haul mechanic had patched the hole on the hose with electrical tape. Apparently, this is a very foolish thing to do. ... Even in his groggy state, [the second mechanic] couldn't believe a fellow mechanic would pull such a stunt." Suffice it to say that Mr. Brangham and his girlfriend made it to Vermont and asked for a refund because U-Haul nearly killed them. But, he reports, U-Haul didn't even offer an apology. Any of you loyal deputy Avengers out there have a U-Haul story that can top this one? You know where to write. In the previous episode, the Shopping Avenger promised to explain to the reader why Southwest Airlines is the Shopping Avenger's favorite company, and now the Shopping Avenger will keep his promise: 1) Very tasty peanuts. 2) Southwest tries, at least most of the time, to keep its customers happy. This is in marked contrast to every other airline ever flown by Shopping Avenger, but particularly Northwest Airlines, for which Shopping Avenger has very hard feelings at the moment, for reasons that will be explained in the next episode. Southwest does have its drawbacks. The Shopping Avenger, when he was just a boy Avenger, worked one summer at a Bob's Big Boy. The Shopping Avenger learned very quickly that Bob's Big Boy is a restaurant for people who don't know how to eat in restaurants. The same holds true for Southwest: It is an airline for people who don't know proper airline etiquette. On his last Southwest flight, from Baltimore to Phoenix, the seat next to the Shopping Avenger was filled by a gentleman whose first words were, "Bring on the $2 Heinekens." The Shopping Avenger had a very long flight. But this, of course, is not Southwest's fault, except insofar as Southwest makes its seats so cheap that even drunken assholes can fly across this great country of ours. Recently, the Shopping Avenger went to bat for one of his loyal readers, a certain Miss M., who had an actual, valid complaint about Southwest. M.'s luggage, , was left sitting for an hour in the rain--on the tarmac. When she got to her destination, she discovered that her clothing was ruined. She got very little satisfaction when she approached Southwest through the normal channels, so she turned to the Shopping Avenger for justice. After some initial backing-and-forthing, in which Southwest made noises that sounded very much like the noises made by such airlines as Northwest when they do something wrong, Southwest came around and offered M. two $400 travel vouchers. M. considered this a satisfactory resolution, and thus so did the Shopping Avenger, who is nothing if not loyal to the wishes of his readers. Southwest knows how to make people happy, which is very unusual in American business today. Next month: Why U-Haul is a key part of Satan's plan for world domination. Got a consumer score you want settled? Send e-mail to shoppingavenger@slate.com . The Flytrap Ad War Tuesday, one week before the midterm elections, the National Republican Congressional Committee began airing TV ads around the country, reminding voters of President Clinton's misconduct in the Monica Lewinsky affair. (To download video of the ads, click here.) Democrats pounced on the ads, calling them a clumsy rehash of old charges and predicting that they would backfire by antagonizing voters who are sick of the scandal. This is a classic case of self-fulfilling characterization. The ads are actually far more sophisticated than the Democrats admit. But if the press buys the Democrats' simplistic representation of the ads, they will indeed backfire. The ads do not rehash the case brought by Independent Counsel Kenneth Starr. Instead, they take into account the political reactions that have since transpired: the public's fatigue, the backlash against Starr, the demise of the impeachment process, and the scandal's decline as a news story. The ads counter or, in some cases, exploit these common reactions, which can be summarized as follows: Reaction 1: "Starr is a partisan zealot." When the scandal broke in January, Clinton was the center of attention, suspicion, and denunciation. His surrogates responded by diverting scrutiny to Starr's alleged misdeeds. Millions of Americans would like to vote against both men. With that in mind, the Republican ads push Clinton back to center stage. The first ad, titled One Person , shows video footage of Clinton wagging his finger in January as he falsely denied his affair with Lewinsky. "There's one person who doesn't want the Republicans in charge," the narrator reminds viewers. The ad never mentions the scandal, nor does it include the audio of Clinton's denial. It doesn't need to. We all remember the wagging finger. Making the president the issue is a classic opposition-party strategy. In 1994, Republicans captured Congress by framing the election as a referendum on Clinton's 1993 "tax increase" (a k a deficit-reduction package) and his failed national health insurance proposal. In 1996, they conceded Clinton's re-election and warned voters that Democratic control of Congress would give him a "blank check." The GOP's 1998 ads make the same point, relying this time on the word "balance." "Republicans are the balance we need," says the tag line of one ad. "For balance, vote Republican," says another. Reaction 2: "Clinton's offenses aren't impeachable." For several weeks in August and September, it looked as though Congress might remove Clinton from office or force him to resign. But public support failed to materialize, Starr's report ignited a backlash, and Congress lost its nerve. Now it looks as though Clinton will escape punishment. That's good for Clinton but perhaps bad for Democrats. If impeachment is moot, the most obvious way to punish Clinton is to vote against his party in the elections. This is the message of the second Republican ad, titled Reward . Its language is a textbook frame job: "In every election, there is a big question to think about. This year, the question is: Should we reward Bill Clinton? Should we make the Democrats more powerful? ... And should we reward not telling the truth? That is the question of this election: Reward Bill Clinton, or vote Republican?" Since Clinton won't be impeached, the ad suggests, his reward or punishment is in your hands. "Electing Republicans is a way [voters] can punish Clinton," says a strategist who helped design the commercials. Reaction 3: "Stop the investigation and prosecution." Most people find Clinton's behavior reprehensible but don't think it should be prosecuted by an independent counsel or investigated by Congress. They think Clinton had sex with Lewinsky and lied about it, but they don't consider this a crime. Clinton's surrogates have exploited this paradox by accusing Starr, Republicans in Congress, and conservative Clinton haters of conspiring to "criminalize" their war against Clinton. The ads respect this distinction by focusing entirely on morals and lying to the public. The most striking thing about them is that they avoid any mention of the charges Starr has leveled against Clinton. Instead, they highlight the moral rather than legal aspects of Clinton's offenses. And rather than dwell on Clinton's offstage lies to Paula Jones' lawyers or to the Starr grand jury, the ads spotlight his center-stage lies to the public on television. They don't mention sex, the affair, or anything that ordinary people might deem private. Only Clinton's public deceit is at issue. The third ad, What Did You Tell Your Kids? , illustrates the Republican strategy. It features one young suburban mother talking to another. "What did you tell your kids?" asks the first woman. "I didn't know what to say," answers the second. The first woman replies: "It's wrong. For seven months he lied to us." Like the finger-wagging scene in One Person , this ad reminds viewers not of what Clinton did to Jones or Starr but of what he did to us . It doesn't say his lies were criminal; it merely says they were wrong. This isn't an abstract matter of law, the ad suggests. It's about your kids. A fourth ad, reportedly set to begin airing Friday, drives home the point. "Remember when he looked us in the eye?" asks the narrator as Clinton wags his finger. "Then the legal mumbo jumbo," the ad recalls. It goes on to quote the Democratic Party chairman's praise for Clinton's "moral leadership." Again, the point is to bypass the troubled legal case against Clinton and to focus instead on the overwhelming moral case. Indeed, the ad accuses Clinton, rather than his critics, of invoking "legal mumbo jumbo" to obscure the immorality of his misconduct. Reaction 4: "Get on with the people's business." Once Congress took up Starr's report, the electorate's hostility to the investigation shifted to the GOP. Each of the Republican ads acknowledges and answers the public's desire to see other issues discussed. "But aren't there other things to do?" asks the second mother in What Did You Tell Your Kids? The first mother then explains that "the Republicans are doing them. They cut taxes, they helped balance the budget, and they're putting people on welfare back to work." The first ad, One Person , addresses this complaint in a different way, by situating Clinton's lies about Lewinsky in a larger critique of his honesty about public matters. It begins with video clips of Clinton contradicting himself on how long it will take to balance the budget. The ad dwells entirely on fiscal questions such as Social Security. Only at the end does it show him wagging his finger about Lewinsky. The message is that you should vote against Clinton not because he lied about sex but because he lies about everything. Unfortunately for the GOP, the sophistication and delicacy of the ads is already being overwhelmed by the Democrats' simplification of them. In a Rose Garden appearance Wednesday, Clinton charged that Republicans are trying to "divert your attention" from "the American people and their families and their future." Vice President Al Gore, House Majority Leader Dick Gephardt, and Democratic Party officials equated the ads with previous efforts to "investigate" and "impeach" Clinton over his "sex life." As Gore put it, "The American people will look at these ads and say enough is enough. Get on with the business of the American people and talk about the real issues." The danger for the GOP is that more voters will see shallow media coverage of the ads--"GOP revives Clinton sex scandal"--than will see the ads themselves. "Scandal ads hit campaign," shouts the front-page headline in USA Today . "President Says Policies Are the Real Issue," says the Washington Post 's front page. Images from the ads dominate the front page of the New York Times , under the oversized caption "Angles of G.O.P. Attack." Civility may be the first casualty of any election, but subtlety is always the last. Recent "Frame Games" "Clinton's Peace Therapy": Is the Middle East deal a new chapter or a reminder of Monica? (posted Wednesday, Oct. 28, 1998) "The Microsoft Trial": The lesson of Flytrap is to attack the inquisition. (posted Wednesday, Oct. 21, 1998) Is Video Campaign Spam the New New Thing? Upstairs from Samson's Vitamins and Herbs, at the corner of 17 th and Church streets in northwest Washington, D.C., there's a funky little eatery called the CyberSTOP Cafe. For $5 per half-hour, you can rent time on a PC or an iMac, while you sip an espresso and take in the zany decor (chairs upholstered in leopard skin; a painting of the Mona Lisa holding a coffee cup). Last week Al Gore dropped by with some campaign staff and a few reporters in tow, trudged up a narrow staircase, and had a campaign aide shoot a video with a rented digital camera while he read a letter to Bill Bradley. Then Gore downloaded the video onto one of the CyberSTOP computers and e-mailed it to the Bradley campaign. He put down a $20 tip and left. It was, of course, a gimmick. But all technological breakthroughs begin as gimmicks. Does video campaign spam have a future? Before answering that question, let's examine the somewhat flimsy substance of Gore's message to Bradley. (This won't take long.) In the video e-mail, Gore asked Bradley, with great sobriety, about an "oversight" in Bradley's campaign literature concerning the Medicare trust fund. "For my part," the flickering image of Gore intoned, "I have proposed dedicating a significant portion of the budget surplus to Medicare to extend the life of the trust fund." By contrast, Bradley's campaign literature doesn't propose similarly fencing off funds for Medicare. "Since independent experts agree that more resources will be necessary to assure Medicare is strong for the future," Gore continued, "my question is, 'What specific measures do you propose to compensate for not dedicating any of the surplus to strengthen the Medicare trust fund?' " In essence, Gore said that Bradley's plan to expand health coverage to uninsured Americans (which is more ambitious than Gore's plan) would bankrupt the Medicare trust fund unless Bradley raised taxes. But the relevance of this attack is severely compromised by the reality that 1) Bradley had already admitted he might have to raise taxes if circumstances warranted it; and 2) during his cybercafe appearance, Gore himself told reporters that "you have to have flexibility on the fiscal side." When asked about Gore's query, Eric Hauser, a spokesman for Bradley, pointed out that Gore was no more willing than Bradley to rule out a tax increase. (For more on Gore's recent mau-mauing of Bradley, and the strategy that lies behind it, click .) So much for substance. Turning to technological matters, Hauser admitted that Bradley never got around to viewing Gore's e-mail. Neither did Hauser and neither did anyone Hauser knew of in the campaign (though they were familiar with its content from reading a transcript). Apparently the video message got lost somewhere in the maw of Bradley's campaign Web site. But obviously the video wasn't really intended for Bradley; its target was the national press, a couple hundred of whose members received e-mail press releases with the video attached. Thanks to its novelty, the stunt won Gore some coverage from the New York Times , Salon , Scripps Howard, and a few other outlets. One doesn't have to be a visionary to imagine where this might go. The largest single expense that political campaigns face nowadays is TV advertising. Gore, for instance, has dropped a couple hundred thousand dollars on ads in Iowa and New Hampshire. Video e-mailing is much cheaper. No, wait: Make that much, much, much cheaper. Even figuring in Gore's $20 tip, the tab Gore ran up sending his e-mail to Bradley and a bunch of reporters probably came in at well under $100. (It would have been even cheaper had Gore been able to use the video camera already in his personal possession, but campaign finance rules made that too difficult.) Sending that same e-mail to 10 times as many people would have cost precisely the same amount. For now, the Gore campaign has no grand plans to start spamming unsuspecting citizens with video messages. It does plan, however, to start sending video e-mails to people who have already indicated on the campaign Web site that they'd like to receive such material. They number in the tens of thousands. It's not too great a leap to envision that in future presidential races--perhaps even in this one--candidates will take the next step and start buying lists of e-mail addresses so they can send targeted video messages or advertisements. If "push" technology makes a comeback, such video ads could be force-fed to the public at large at a cost that, compared to current media buys, would probably be microscopic. These ads probably wouldn't be as effective as conventional TV ads--remember, most homes in the United States still aren't wired to the Internet. But they'd be so much more cost- effective that they might still transform the way campaigns do business. You can watch Gore's video by going to the Gore 2000 campaign site and scrolling down to "Gore Sends Bradley An Email And Video Message." If you just want to read the text, like the Bradley folks did, click here. To read Bradley's own spiel on health care, go to his Web site and click on "In His Own Words." Read My Vote: No New Taxes In the cyberfuture, all the middlemen will lose their jobs. Or so goes the theory. Insurance agents, music label executives, car dealers, and even university administrators will be annihilated as consumers turn directly to the infinitely efficient Web to buy and sell goods and services. Such "disintermediation" is supposed to transform politics, too, as voters cashier the thousands of middlemen--senators, council members, commissioners--who represent them. Once again, the theory is that the efficient Web will let voters cast their ballots directly on all the issues. Out here in Washington state, where we already run on Internet time, the voters decided that political disintermediation via the Web was taking too long, so they passed Initiative 695 by a 58 percent to 42 percent landslide in the Nov. 2 general election. I-695 came in two parts. The first cuts the much-loathed annual license fee on cars from 2.2 percent of the car's value to a flat fee of $30, putting a $750 million a year dent in state and local revenues. (Some of the license fee goes to local government; most of it goes to a shared transportation fund.) The second part of I-695 achieved disintermediation: It prevents any state or local jurisdiction from raising taxes or fees without a vote of the people. So, if the city of Seattle wants to so much as boost late fees on library books, it has to ask the voters. The same goes if the University of Washington wants to add a quarter to the price of a cheeseburger at Husky Stadium. The government's first response to the tax revolt was a bunch of new taxes. The measure doesn't take effect until Jan. 1, so dozens of towns and counties have increased service fees on water, sewer, utilities, garbage, business, and parks. From "The Inevitability of Death and Taxes Department" comes the news that some jurisdictions are raising the price on cemetery plots. As a countermeasure to all the taxes, many drivers whose tags expired after the November election are playing cat and mouse with the cops, hoping to postpone the purchase of new tags until January, when they can pay the $30 fee. (The savings are real: It cost me $450 to license my 1996 Honda Accord this year.) Meanwhile, in the halls of the Capitol, the disintermediated legislators are walking around like zombies. Stripped of the power to increase taxes, the House and Senate have been reduced to ceremonial bodies. The roots of the current tax revolt go back to 1993, a recession year in which voters narrowly approved the Republican Party sanctioned Initiative 601. I-601 placed a spending limit on the legislature, based on inflation and population growth, but offered no tax relief. Instead, it diverted all excess state revenues to a special, almost untouchable reserve fund. As Washington's economy improved, the reserve fund swelled to today's $1 billion, creating a political opportunity for I-695 mastermind Tim Eyman, who makes his living selling mail-order sorority wristwatches out of his Mukilteo garage. Eyman and his compatriots collected a record-setting 500,000 signatures for I-695, arguing quite rightly that the state was flush with cash. Every time the political establishment damned I-695 as reckless--warning of reduced police forces, cut public health services, dry-docked commuter ferries, abandoned bus routes, and super congested roads--Team Eyman just pointed to the $1 billion surplus. The state's popular Democratic governor, Gary Locke, campaigned vigorously against I-695. But he changed his tactics at the last minute when he saw the measure was going to pass. Locke promised voters that the next legislature would reduce the car tax if they voted I-695 down. This only gave I-695 additional credence. See! The state doesn't need the money! Locke's vacillation also reinforced I-695's ideological point that legislators can't be trusted with tax rates. One peculiar thing about the Washington tax revolt is that taxes are relatively mild out here. There is no state income tax, property taxes rank 19 th (as of 1996), and the average sales tax is about 7.5 percent. So what started as a revolt against an unpopular tax turned into a referendum on disingenuous politicians--and their allies. Microsoft, Boeing, Weyerhaeuser, labor, and virtually every editorial page in the state opposed I-695, portraying it in hyperbolic, apocalyptic colors. The political, corporate, and union establishments put their money where their mouths were, too, dropping $2.1 million to fight the measure, outspending the tax rebels by 10-to-1. The vote cut along class lines. Opposing I-695 were the wealthy who live in Bill Gates' waterfront village of Medina (750-618 against). Embracing it were the working-class residents of Tukwila and Renton, who passed it 2,065-1,378 and 7,103-5,190, respectively. The turnout was high (57.7 percent) for an off-year election, making the whole drama unspool like a Frank Capra movie: The little guys beat the fat cats, only the little guys were right-wing Republicans instead of good government liberals. The biggest applause line on election night came when Eyman screamed, "From now on, the politicians are going to have to ask your permission to take your money." Most"yes" voters dismissed the predictions of doom as exaggeration, according to polls conducted on either side of Election Day. They suspected government of wanting to punish them for approving the measure. And they also doubted that the political establishment--which helped pass new taxes to build two new pro stadiums in Seattle for multimillionaire owners--would ever ease the irksome car tax. This confluence of a bad tax, a $1 billion reserve, a botched opposition campaign, and voters willing to call a bluff resulted in the I-695 victory. The unintended side effect is radical, direct democracy: In what other state do voters set the tax rates? The inevitable legal challenges have arrived, but they're all piecemeal, failing to address sweeping constitutional questions. Given that the justices on Washington's Supreme Court are elected, legal pundits say it's more likely that the court will narrow I-695 than overturn it. Meanwhile, Locke has proposed spending about half the reserve fund to bail out local governments--perhaps because he doesn't want to be outflanked by the state auditor who has positioned himself as the Democrat who can make I-695 work (the auditor wants a financial review of all state programs). The Republicans, predictably, want to preserve the surplus, which they call the "rainy-day fund," by outsourcing government services and cutting budgetary "fat." The $1 billion cushion averts the apocalypse for now. But when the cushion is spent in a year or two, or when the next recession arrives, the disintermediating voters will find themselves playing the roles of budget analysts and tax wonks. What and who will they tax? Will they tax themselves to build highways and create new bus lines? Or will they stay the course and ask government to do more with less? Instead of waiting for judgment day, watch-salesman Eyman is hastening it with "Son of 695." This tax-cutting initiative, which he is readying for the November 2000 election, will cap annual property-tax appraisals at 2 percent and exempt vehicles from the property tax (on the long shot that the government might start taxing cars as property). And in a final act of disintermediation, Son of 695 retaliates against all these mayors and council members who thought they got the drop on Eyman: It will roll back all taxes and fees increased since July 1999, when I-695 qualified for the ballot. Hot, Dada, and Still Dead (Note: "Life and Art" is an occasional column that compares fiction, in various media, with the real-life facts on which it is ostensibly based.) Andy Kaufman, the comedian who died of cancer in 1984 at the age of 35, enjoyed making people wonder whether his acts were real or not. He would sometimes deliberately "bomb" in clubs, telling bad jokes and letting crowds grow more and more uncomfortable. He loved planting fake stories about himself in the National Enquirer . And then there were his repeated turns as "Tony Clifton," a noxious, heavily made up and toupeed Las Vegas singer who did things like abuse Dinah Shore on her own show by cracking a dozen eggs and handing her the shells. Kaufman would swear that Tony and Andy were not the same person. Even after the Clifton gag had worn thin, Kaufman would continue to perform it, as comfortable causing anger as he was getting laughs. Given this pattern, it seems appropriate that Man on the Moon , Milos Forman's new biopic about Kaufman, starring Jim Carrey, would take liberties with its subject's life. But despite some inevitable streamlining, the film hits the major points--both high and low--in Kaufman's career. The most obvious factual change seems designed to uplift the audience rather than unsettle it. Kaufman, who preferred to call himself a "song and dance man," was first spotted in New York clubs, where he did a faltering "foreign man" comic who could also imitate Elvis brilliantly. Kaufman's Elvis imitation came before the King died and well before Elvis imitators were legion. (Elvis reportedly liked Kaufman's imitation the best.) Appearing on the first episode of Saturday Night Live in 1975, Kaufman stood awkwardly next to a turntable as the Mighty Mouse theme played, opening his mouth only to lip-sync the lyrics "Here I come to save the day." He parlayed his foreign-man schtick into a job as Latka, the lovable foreign mechanic on the soon-to-be-hit series Taxi , which debuted in 1978. (Kaufman's contract stipulated occasional appearances--on episodes that Latka didn't appear in--by Tony Clifton, who proved so rude to other cast members that he was thrown off the set permanently.) Kaufman's professional life took an unorthodox turn when he started wrestling women in arenas and on television--this, too, before wrestling took off. Kaufman the wrestler would provoke audience members into fighting him by making sexist remarks. Eventually pro Jerry Lawler challenged him to a wrestling match and Kaufman ended up in the hospital (the Kaufman-Lawler feud was orchestrated by the two men from the beginning, though many would be fooled). Kaufman began to lose fans in part because of the obsessive wrestling. He got into a believable-looking fight with fellow actors on a Saturday Night Live knockoff show on ABC called Fridays , giving the impression that he had lost control on air. Taxi was canceled. And he was banished as a performer from Saturday Night Live itself in 1982 (after viewers voted in a call-in poll to kick him off the show). The film skips over Kaufman's adolescence and college years, in which he developed much of his comic material. (During college he also got his then-girlfriend pregnant; the baby was later given away for adoption. Though Kaufman never met his daughter, she has since become friendly with his family.) Man on the Moon includes only one of Andy's girlfriends, Lynne Margulies (played by Courtney Love). But the Margulies character is a "composite of at least six women [that Andy dated]," says journalist Bill Zehme, author of Lost in the Funhouse: The Life and Mind of Andy Kaufman . In the film, the two meet when he wrestles her on Merv Griffin --they actually met during a film shoot. Kaufman did, it should be noted, date a lot of his opponents. The film does a good job of capturing the contradictions in Kaufman's personality. A devotee of transcendental meditation, he was also prone to temper tantrums, and his stage personae--particularly the sexist wrestler--upset some fellow travelers (in life, as in the movie, the TM movement threw him out at one point). Even though he was earning good money at Taxi , Kaufman took a night job as a busboy. Always trying to purify himself through meditation and a strict vegetarian diet, he was at the same time addicted to chocolate and sex, and he often visited prostitutes. And while Kaufman was desperate for fame, he deeply resented the vehicles that were best equipped to deliver him fame. As Man on the Moon correctly shows, Kaufman hated sitcoms and wasn't crazy about the Taxi job: He eventually felt trapped by the "foreign" character that viewers adored. He was far more excited about the money ABC gave him to film his own special in 1977. In the film, Kaufman is given the special as an incentive for starring on Taxi , whereas in life, it was made a year before Taxi went into production. The 90-minute program included segments such as Kaufman chatting with his idol, Howdy Doody, and renditions of songs such as "It's a Small World." As Kaufman's co-writer Bob Zmuda reports in his book Andy Kaufman Revealed! , it also contained a few seconds in which the screen was made to deliberately roll. In life, as in Man on the Moon, apoplectic ABC execs declined to air the special. (It would finally be broadcast on the network two years after it was made--and draw better ratings than NBC's Tonight Show , a fact that isn't in the movie.) M an on the Moon is right to portray Kaufman as a frustrated artist pitted against people who just didn't get it. But in setting up a world-vs.-Andy theme, the film exaggerates some of the lengths to which Kaufman would go to maintain his artistic integrity. When a college audience annoys him by clamoring for Latka and Mighty Mouse, Carrey as Kaufman proceeds to read all of The Great Gatsby on stage. Kaufman did read from Gatsby in his act, according to Zehme's book, but rarely did he finish the "first chapter anywhere, much less two pages." And the movie occasionally downplays Kaufman's part in bringing about his own professional decline. Man on the Moon does not indicate, for example, that Kaufman came up with the idea for the Saturday Night Live call-in vote, nor that he had numerous chances to nix the whole thing. In its most marked deviation from real life, Man on the Moon provides Kaufman with a kind of feel-good comeback. Earlier in the film, Andy's manager George Shapiro (Danny DeVito), frustrated with his client's self-indulgent performances, tells him that he has to decide whether he's out to entertain the audience or himself. (In life, Shapiro was similarly frustrated.) After being diagnosed with cancer, Carrey's Kaufman decides to do a show at Carnegie Hall. The event is the definition of a crowd pleaser, replete with appearances by the Rockettes, the Mormon Tabernacle Choir, and Santa Claus (the act isn't entirely without bite; there's also a very funny moment involving a heart attack). And at the end of the evening Kaufman takes the entire audience out for milk and cookies. This all happened in real life--although the Rockettes weren't the real Rockettes and neither was the choir. But the performance took place in 1979, well before Kaufman got sick. By time-shifting this feel-good scene forward, Man on the Moon relieves the true story of Kaufman's depressing decline. In the film, for example, his wrestling days come to an abrupt end after he and Lawler erupt into a brawl while appearing on Late Night With David Letterman . But in life, the rematches would continue. As Lost in the Funhouse notes, Kaufman actually joined Lawler on the professional circuit and traveled across the country in a kind of "touring carnival." Zehme writes, "Nobody paid much attention." The man who had once come up with a "has-been corner" skit, in which, as Zmuda recalls, forgotten performers "would be sent out to flounder in front of an audience ... in an attempt to regain some of their vanished fame," was on his way to becoming a has-been himself. Tellingly, the "has-been corner" routine is not in the movie. As for Andy's illness, the film is true to the record when it suggests that people didn't believe that he was really sick with lung cancer. After Carrey's Kaufman tells Zmuda the news, he responds that they can really make something out of this gag. Kaufman was a nonsmoker, which naturally made people doubt him. (In the film, as in life, Kaufman goes to the Philippines to visit a healer who pretends to remove diseased-looking entrails--actually, concealed animal parts--from Kaufman's body. Carrey's Kaufman immediately understands the put-on and laughs. But as Lynne Margulies told Zehme, "[Andy] actually seemed to be getting better at first. He believed it was magic.") What the movie neglects to mention is that Kaufman had often talked about how he would like to pull off his own death. And there are still those who believe that Kaufman, like his hero, Elvis, is out there somewhere. In the epilogue to Andy Kaufman Revealed! Zmuda writes--perhaps in an effort to ratchet up the mystery factor--"I've often been asked, 'Had Andy lived, what would he be doing?' The answer is obvious: I truly believe he would have faked his death." The film's own mild flirtation with mystery comes in the final scene: A year after Kaufman's funeral, Tony Clifton performs in a club, doing a rather spirited rendition of--what else--"I Will Survive." We're expecting a trick, but we're also pretty sure that the singer is Zmuda, who sometimes played Clifton when Andy was alive. However, the camera scans the crowd until it lands on Zmuda, who's watching the spectacle along with everyone else. This "Tony Clifton Live" performance did actually take place except Zmuda was, of course, Clifton. And the occasion? A cancer benefit. Economist , Nov. 7 (posted Saturday, Nov. 7, 1998) The cover editorial marvels that President Clinton has been shown to be "a liar and a philanderer" yet "still he comes back laughing." But Republicans should pursue impeachment, regardless of the election results: "If they believed that they had grounds for an inquiry, it should be a thorough one, for this election has no effect on those grounds." ... An essay says our two-party system is dissolving, especially at the state level. Republicans and Democrats look more and more like each other. GOP governors such as George W. Bush and Tommy Thompson are the leading edge of this movement. State voters don't care about parties: They just want politicians who get the job done. ... The Economist , marking its "Science and Technology" section's 20 th anniversary, offers a challenging science quiz. Question No. 2: "What is unusual about the sheep on the Scottish island of Foula? a) They eat sea birds. b) They eat seaweed. c) They eat each other." If you are going take the quiz, stop reading now. The answer is a). New Republic , Nov. 23 (posted Friday, Nov. 6, 1998) The lead article in the election cover package heralds the onset of "liberal centrism"--cautious reform pegged to New Deal themes. Similarly, the cover editorial attributes the election results to a groundswell of American moderatism: Most people are happy, so why vote for radical changes? ... TNR criticizes pols on both sides of the campaign finance debate. One article warns Democrats (notably soft money spurning Sen. Russell Feingold, the narrow victor in Wisconsin) not to obscure "real" themes by overemphasizing campaign finance reform. Another piece raps Republican National Senatorial Committee Chairman Mitch McConnell for allowing money to substitute for good politics. New York Times Magazine , Nov. 8 (posted Thursday, Nov. 5, 1998) The cover story profiles George C. Wolfe, the producer at New York's Joseph Papp Public Theater. Wickedly smart, acid tongued, and black, Wolfe deeply intimidates actors, choreographers, and theater honchos. Last year Wolfe battled kidney failure and won. This year he's stubbornly producing an expensive and risky version of On the Town , despite severe doubts in the industry that the musical could ever be a success. ... A fascinating story describes and denounces solitary confinement, a punishment now inflicted on 8 percent to 10 percent of prison inmates. Out of their cells for just one hour a day, the inmates grow slowly insane and even more violent and unstable than when they entered prison. Many psychologists believe the treatment is inhumane. Wardens disagree. ... A story profiles famous horse race prognosticator Andrew Beyer. Beyer, the racing columnist for the Washington Post , dropped out of Harvard to follow horses and invented a race analysis system that revolutionized horse play. Time and Newsweek , Nov. 9 (posted Tuesday, Nov. 3, 1998) Time 's cover package attacks corporate welfare: "In some ways, it represents pork-barrel legislation of the worst order. The difference, of course, is that instead of rewarding the poor, it rewards the powerful." In Philadelphia, the government subsidized a shipyard to the tune of $323,000 per job--the jobs themselves will pay about $50,000 each. Corporate welfare lets politicians claim they've created new jobs while wasting your tax money. The package is by populist muckrakers Donald Barlett and James Steele, who won fame and notoriety for their 1996 Philadelphia Inquirer series "America: Who Stole the Dream?" ... Newsweek 's cover package surveys hot new tech towns. New Silicon Valleys have sprouted in places such as Boise, Idaho; Cambridge, England; and Bangalore, India. Keys to tech success: nearby research institutions, an educated talent pool, free-flowing venture capital, and that Valley-style, go-for-broke, entrepreneurial spirit. Time notes the rising popularity of Web "palaces." Palaces let animated "avatars"--characters Netizens create for themselves--interact in a graphic environment. When you type words, they appear in a thought bubble above your avatar's head. Current popular palaces: The South Park palace and, you guessed it, porn sites. U.S. News & World Report , Nov. 9 (posted Tuesday, Nov. 3, 1998) The cover story reports on new DNA tests confirming that Thomas Jefferson fathered at least one child by his slave Sally Hemings. Many Hemings descendants were unaware of any African-American ancestry (Hemings was a mulatto) and equally unaware that they were related to a president. An accompanying article traces the evolving debate among historians, several of whom proclaimed Jefferson's purity and must now admit to grave error. Another piece wonders how the Jefferson legacy might change: "While it will require a rather large stretch to transform Jefferson from a thinking man's racist to a multicultural hero, some commentators are sure to make the leap." ... A story challenges the fairness of the death penalty, noting the significant numbers of death row inmates who have been found innocent before they could be executed. Illinois has executed 11 men, but found nine more on death row innocent. Six of those nine were minorities accused of crimes against white victims. The New Yorker , Nov. 9 (posted Tuesday, Nov. 3, 1998) An essay argues that True at First Light , labeled as an Ernest Hemingway novel, should not have been published. The book was winnowed from more than 800 pages to about half that length in a ham-handed editing process that would have horrified Hemingway, who carefully chose every word he wrote. Besides, Papa requested that none of his unfinished work be posthumously published. ... A cautionary tale of the Internet boom chronicles the failure of a tech startup called PointCast. An early "push technology" firm, PointCast was on the verge of being bought out for huge dough. Suddenly, the bottom dropped out when push fell from favor and "portals" became the next big thing. Weekly Standard , Nov. 9 (posted Tuesday, Nov. 3, 1998) The cover story praises Benjamin Netanyahu for standing firm in negotiations with the Palestinian Authority. Bibi has savvily refused to concede territory to the Palestinians, knowing that he will need land as a bargaining chip during final settlement talks. (Yasser Arafat controls less than half the land he expected to control by now.) The piece warns that May 4, 1999, when Arafat has vowed to declare an independent Palestinian state, could be the launch date for a brutal war. --Seth Stevenson Election Night Excuses 1 We did better than Newt Gingrich said we would. Gingrich, with typical chutzpah, has predicted the GOP could pick up 40 or more House seats. Democrats, with equal chutzpah, will portray anything less as a Democratic victory. 2. We did better than the pundits said we would. The conventional wisdom on likely Republican gains has ranged from six to 20 House seats and from three to five Senate seats. If Democrats hold the GOP below the upper end of this range, they'll claim victory. If Republicans beat the lower end, they'll claim victory. 3 We did well, considering how heavily we were outspent. Democrats will use this alibi in nearly every close race. Republicans will claim that many of their candidates were outspent, if you count the additional "union money." 4. We did well, considering the president's difficulties. Democrats will offer this excuse without acknowledging that it implies the public is still upset with the president's behavior. Simultaneously, they will assert that the election is a mandate for ending the investigation of the president's behavior. 5. We did well, considering the backlash against the investigation. Republicans will offer this excuse without acknowledging that the backlash is mainstream. Instead, they'll portray it as a surge of turnout among diehard Clinton supporters. 6. We did well, considering the six year itch. Democrats will point out that the president's party usually loses dozens of congressional seats in his sixth year. What they won't mention is that the reason Clinton didn't lose those seats in his sixth year is that he lost them in his second. 7 Americans re-elected the Republican majority. This is the ultimate Republican fallback. Even if the GOP somehow loses seats in both houses, it can ignore its relative setbacks and reassert its absolute supremacy. 8. The Republicans failed to win a filibuster-proof majority. This is the ultimate Democratic fallback. If Democrats lose fewer than five Senate seats, they'll say they weathered the tide because voters decided not to entrust Republicans with complete control. 9. We won the close races. Both sides will use this line. "Close races" are the ones your side won. If a race looked close but you ended up losing it, then it wasn't really close, so you needn't mention it. 10. Their candidate won on local issues. A good spinner never admits that his party's candidate lost because of the national party's positions. If an anti-health maintenance organization, pro-public-education Democrat wins, Democrats will say it's because voters liked her positions on HMOs and education. If she loses, they'll say its because voters disliked her position on building a local freeway. 11 Their candidate won with vicious negative ads. If their candidate wins, it's because his negative ads distracted voters from the issues. If your candidate wins, it's because voters agreed that the other candidate was wrong on the issues--as your candidate pointed out in his negative ads. 12. Our candidate lost because of vicious media attacks. If your candidate ran negative ads and their candidate didn't and your candidate still managed to lose, you can always accuse the media of attacking your candidate. This argument comes in particularly handy when the media have criticized your candidate precisely for running negative ads. 13. Our candidate lost because he screwed up. If an anti-tax, family values Republican wins, it's because voters liked his positions on taxes and family values. If he loses, it's because he was unfairly savaged by the local press for calling his opponent a putzhead. 14. Our candidate did well in a tough district. The Democratic Party recruits each candidate by telling her that her district opposes the Republican candidate on the issues. The Democratic candidate spends a year on the campaign trail repeating this line. Then, on election night, the candidate and the party claim that she lost because the district was Republican. 15 Our candidate did well, considering he was up against an entrenched incumbent. This is the least bogus spin. Generally, incumbents do have enormous advantages in clout, money, and name recognition. But when a challenger has these advantages and still manages to lose, his party will invoke the "entrenched incumbent" excuse anyway. 16. Our candidate did well to make the race close. This is the corollary to spin No. 9. If your candidate was blown out, you brush it off by saying it was never really a race. If your candidate wasn't blown out, you call this an achievement. 17. Their candidate won thanks to a vocal minority. This will be the trademark spin of this year's elections. Everyone knows turnout will be low. So if you lose, you can always claim that the silent, nonvoting majority supported your candidate. 18 Their candidate won on our issues. The GOP's 1996 treatment of Clinton is an excellent example. Throughout the campaign, Republicans call the Democratic candidate a liberal. After he wins, they say he won by running as a conservative. 19. Our candidate lost on their issues. If Republican Matt Fong loses the California Senate race, conservatives will say he blew it because he's a "squish," i.e., a moderate. If Democrat Glenn Poshard loses the Illinois governor's race, liberals will say he blew it because he's anti-abortion. 20. The polls show voters support us. If your party gets creamed, you can always find comfort in the exit polls. Somewhere in the blizzard of questions, a couple of findings will suggest that voters sort of agreed with your party's position on something or other, even if they voted against all your candidates. And after all, isn't that what really counts? Recent "Frame Games" "The Flytrap Ad War": Why the GOP's new ads are too clever by half. (posted Friday, Oct. 30, 1998) "Clinton's Peace Therapy": Is the Middle East deal a new chapter or a reminder of Monica? (posted Wednesday, Oct. 28, 1998) The Five-Minute Activist Bill Bradley has raked in more than $1 million from his Web site. That sounds pretty good until you consider that it's less than 5 percent of what he has raised overall. Jean Elliott Brown, a novice Democratic House candidate in Florida, has raised only $215,000 for her challenge to Rep. Mark Foley. But she has collected $90,000 of it--more than 40 percent--online. Brown has done this with the help of Moveon.org , an online, grass-roots PAC. Moveon first made headlines in September 1998 as "Censure and Move On." Launched by husband-and-wife software entrepreneurs Wes Boyd and Joan Blades--Berkeley Systems, the company they founded, is most famous for the "Flying Toasters" screensaver--Censure and Move On was an online petition campaign urging Congress to call off impeachment proceedings, censure President Clinton, and get down to more important business. Every online enterprise strives for viral marketing; Censure and Move On was Typhoid Mary. It signed up 100,000 folks in a week and 500,000 in a couple of months. The campaign delivered hundreds of thousands of petitions to House members, swamped congressional switchboards with 250,000 calls, and won meetings with more than 200 representatives--all through what Boyd and Blades call "word of mouse." Originally, this was all intended to be part of a "flash campaign" that would end with the 1998 election. But Boyd and Blades were outraged when House Republicans impeached Clinton after the election, so they converted Censure and Move On into a "we will remember" campaign. Between December and the end of the trial in February, visitors to the site pledged $13 million and 800,000 volunteer hours to oppose pro-impeachment members of Congress. Things were quiet for a while. Then in June, Moveon re-emerged as a PAC. Boyd, Blades, and their advisers endorsed five candidates--all Democrats. In addition to Brown, who is a Moveon volunteer and public relations entrepreneur, the others are: California state Sen. Adam Schiff, who's running against House Manager Rep. James Rogan; Nancy Keenan, a Montanan seeking the seat of extremely conservative Rep. Rick Hill; Missouri Gov. Mel Carnahan, who's challenging Sen. John Ashcroft; and Rep. Rush Holt, D-N.J., who in 1998 defeated Rep. Mike Pappas, a congressman who had gleefully caroled "Twinkle, twinkle, Kenneth Starr" on the House floor. Moveon e-mailed solicitations to the 25,000 folks who had pledged, as well as to 275,000 others on its mailing list. Donors contribute online through Moveon's Web site; the organization then delivers the cash to the candidates. This "Internet bundling" is the first of its kind: It is modeled on the snail-mail bundling practiced by organizations such as Emily's List. Moveon raised $250,000 in five days and has harvested another $240,000 since, without any further solicitation. (The contributions are tiny--92 percent of them are $50 or less--but there are nearly 13,000 of them.) This kind of cash can't replace the $1,000 donors who are the backbone of every campaign, but it's enough to matter in House and Senate races. "We thought it might be interesting but probably not really worth more than the time," says Carnahan adviser Roy Temple. "It has way exceeded our expectations." For Holt, Schiff, and Keenan, the Moveon money comprises 10 percent to 20 percent of total fund raising. Moveon money made the biggest difference for Brown, turning her from a no-chance challenger of a rich incumbent into a credible candidate. The Moveon infusion allowed her to report more than $100,000 in contributions by the Federal Election Commission's June 30 filing deadline. Now, she says, both Emily's List and the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee are considering supporting her, which they would never have done without the Moveon money. "For Jean Elliott Brown, Moveon is far more important than the Florida Democratic Party or any interest group," says Phil Noble, who runs PoliticsOnline. The only real catch is that Moveon money exposes candidates to the charge that they are bought by out-of-state interests or Clinton-loving liberals. Ashcroft and Rogan are using their opponents' Moveon endorsement to help fund-raise from conservatives. According to Blades, Moveon will also add more candidates to its roster this winter and will begin trying to direct those who volunteered time to campaigns. And Blades says the organization will ask for campaign contributions every month from now till Election Day, in hopes of reaping the entire $13 million promised. But even if it never collects as much as $1 million, Moveon will be a landmark: the first empirical evidence of the power of grass-roots Internet politics. Its success all but guarantees that other political movements will imitate Moveon's style of flash campaign, which far outstrips the sluggardly pace of direct mail. It is easy to imagine that an Internet movement could spring up to oppose, for example, Vermont's gay-marriage ruling: A drive targeted at conservatives could collect thousands of electronic petitions in no time and solicit contributions for anti-gay marriage politicians. Over time, some of these flash campaigns may begin to evolve into new kinds of political communities and quasi-parties. "Five-minute activism," Boyd calls this. It may become the fastest, fieriest method ever devised for channeling citizen outrage. No. 359: "Peril? Us?" Government officials and industry experts have begun to caution Americans about "speed creep"--meaning? Send your answer by noon ET Wednesday to newsquiz@slate.com. Wednesday's Question (No. 358)--"Foto Fun": Compose a caption for this . "Santa and Sparkles the Elf in happier times, before the sexual harassment suit."-- Francis Heaney "Dressed as Santa Claus, Atlanta Braves relief pitcher John Rocker brings holiday cheer to Atlanta schoolchildren, teaching them the effectiveness of a baseball bat in greeting foreigners on New York's No. 7 train."-- Dave Daley ( Ann Gavaghan and Joe Whealon had similar answers.) "Just pretend it's Jackie Mason's head."-- Michael Stern "Santa preps pint-sized astronaut on Hubble repair techniques."-- Dave Carter "Santa delivers to wrong house, returns to take it back."-- Leslie Jacobsson Click for more answers. Randy's Wrap-Up Once all the world smiled benignly when an adult took an interest in a child: scoutmaster and troop, priest and altar boy--what could be more wholesome? Now, all--or at any rate, quiz participants all--smirk knowingly at the dark desires implicit in a photo of Santa embracing a comely lad, embellished with the most potent of pederast symbols, baseball paraphernalia. How does one tell foresight from fear? Today, some wary adults are reluctant to lift a thirsty tot to a playground drinking fountain, lest they be viewed with alarm. Others tow all cars within a one-mile radius, weld closed all manhole covers, remove all trash cans, lock all mailboxes, and assign 7,000 cops to the scene, while denying the existence of any specific threat. Is this reasonable caution or self-important delight in martial law? Is it Christmas in Tel Aviv or New Year's Eve in Manhattan? One more anti-Giuliani screed or an actual comment on the question at hand? Prudence or paranoia? Either way, I won't be taking the neighbor boy to Times Square Friday night. Captious Answer "Elian Gonzalez gets some batting tips from Santa Claus in the front yard of his great uncle's home Tuesday. The bat and ball were an early Christmas gift from baseball agent Joe Cubas. The six-year-old has been living with Miami relatives after being picked up at sea November 25 while trying to escape Cuba with his mother and others who died when their boat capsized." (Bill Cooke/Reuters) Anarchy in the Streets Extra "Pamela is the family rebel," Ms. Weisman said. "Everybody in the Holmes family has to go to Harvard. Pamela actually applied to Yale. She ended up gong to Harvard, but ..."--"Vows," New York Times Cut the Cards Extra Participants were invited to devise mass-mailed corporate Christmas cards, and a few people managed to keep off the eggnog long enough to do just that, and delightfully so. Outside: Santa driving off into the sunset aboard a jet-propelled sleigh. The Golden Arches loom in the background. Inside: McBlitzer: for those who really like reindeer.-- Shannon Deegan Outside: Santa drinking a glass of milk left by the chimney. Inside: Santa laughingly refusing chemotherapy treatment. Message: Don't worry, kids, Santa will probably be fine! Happy holidays from Monsanto.-- Francis Heaney Outside: Kathie Lee and Frank Gifford pass out candy canes in an Indonesian sweatshop. Inside: Season's Greetings from your friends at Wal-Mart.-- William Vehrs Outside: Steve Balmer and Bill Gates in front of a roaring fire. Inside: Our chestnuts are roasting over an open fire. Thanks to a non-techie in a judge's robe. We'll still be here as your stock climbs Higher and Higher. He'll be off the bench when our election donations take hold. Happy Holidays to our stockholders from the staff at Microsoft. P.S.: Richest man in the world is subjective, so no money has been enclosed.-- Kevin Kenow Common Denominator Family values, shmamily values: We will bury Elin Gonzlez beneath a mountain of toys before we reunite him with a father who lives in a nation whose government we disapprove of. Cuba Getting Junior The Immigration and Naturalization Service ruled that Elin Gonzlez should be reunited with his father in Cuba. Gonzlez's Cuban-American relatives had argued that he should remain in the United States after he was rescued from a shipwreck in which his mother died. Protesters blocked traffic in Miami, and Gonzlez's family promised to appeal the ruling, charging that the INS was giving into blackmail by Castro. INS supporters countered that 1) the ruling was based solely on legal concerns ; and 2) the only blackmail was Cuban-Americans' threats of political retribution against the Clinton administration. The INS's spin: He's being reunited with his family. Cuban-Americans' spin: He's being denied a better life in the United States. Al Gore and Bill Bradley debated in New Hampshire. In their third meeting in a month, they clashed over health care and gun control and agreed on support for gays in the military . But most pundits said personality and leadership --not policy issues--were the true points of contention: Gore deemed Bradley "too intellectually removed" to deal with real-world problems; Bradley charged that Gore was not removed enough from the "Washington bunker" to generate creative solutions. The rosy Democratic spin: The frequent debates help both candidates practice "crisper critiques of one another and more polished defenses of their positions." The gloomy Democratic spin: The constant sparring over character issues makes them both less likable. ( Slate 's Jacob Weisberg offers his assessment of the debate in "," and William Saletan offers another take in ".") U.S. stock markets plunged. Tuesday's declines were the most severe in more than a year: The Dow Jones industrial average fell 3.2 percent, and the tech-heavy Nasdaq dropped 5.5 percent. Asian and European markets followed suit. The apparent cause: Investors waited for the new tax year to reap profits from recent stock gains. The counterintuitive causes: Wall Street darling Alan Greenspan was nominated for a fourth term as Federal Reserve chairman, and Y2K economic disruptions never surfaced--both of which increase the likelihood that the Fed will raise interest rates. Wall Street shrugged off the decline as a "necessary and expected" correction. Skeptics termed it an indication that investors are "even more confused than usual about what stocks are really worth these days." (James Surowiecki explains why an interest-rate hike would bad news for stocks in this "." Y2K came and went without terrorism or technological snafus. Airplanes stayed airborne and ATMs dispensed cash as usual. Observers said the Y2K bug's threat 1) was averted thanks to diligent preparation; 2) had been exaggerated by greedy programmers so that customers would commission expensive repairs; and 3) won't pass until companies and governments have used their "backroom systems," which were not repaired as thoroughly as critical programs. ("" sums up the millennium coverage from around the globe.) Israel and Syria began peace talks. Syria wants to regain control of the Golan Heights, which Israel captured in 1967. Israel wants security guarantees and the restoration of normal diplomatic relations. The initial discussions were deemed "rocky," with each side claiming that the other was not following the agenda. Israel and Syria called the impasse a "crisis" that threatened to derail the entire peace process. Skeptics charged it was manufactured to convince Israeli and Syrian citizens that their representatives bargained hard. The Clinton administration downplayed the dispute, saying 1) no one expected a breakthrough in the talks' first round; and 2) the difficulties show that "the two sides [are] getting into the knotty issues." Separately, Israel and Palestine agreed to a plan for Israeli troop withdrawls from parts of the West Bank. Florida State won college football's national title. With a 46-29 Sugar Bowl victory over No. 2 Virginia Tech, the undefeated Seminoles became the first team to hold a No.1 Associate Press ranking throughout the entire season. Sportswriters were happy for 1) Florida State receiver Peter Warrick , the undisputed star of the game, who "redeemed" himself after last year's arrest and suspension for theft; 2) Florida State coach Bobby Bowden, who got his first undefeated season and second national championship in 40 years of coaching; and 3) the Virginia Tech players , who "put season-long criticism of their toughness to rest" with a valiant comeback attempt. Elizabeth Dole endorsed George W. Bush. In her long-expected announcement , Dole likened Bush to Ronald Reagan and said he would repair the presidency's tarnished image. Analysts called it a win for 1) Bush, who gains support from women voters; 2) Dole, who increases her chances of nabbing the vice presidential nomination; and 3) John McCain, who can again cast "Bush as the charmed insider and [himself] as the scrappy outsider." Boris Yeltsin resigned. Prime Minister Vladimir Putin became Russia's acting president and is expected to win the presidency by a wide margin in March elections. In his surprise resignation speech, Yeltsin admitted his failings. Pundits agreed he had botched much of his job but also noted his shrewdness in 1) capturing the world's attention on New Year's Eve; 2) cutting his losses before his communism-busting legacy was further tainted by a money-laundering scandal or the war in Chechnya; and 3) designating his likely successor, who has immunized Yeltsin from prosecution. La Nia is altering winter weather. The effects of the cooler-than-normal Pacific Ocean currents include 1) balmy temperatures on the East Coast; 2) tornadoes in Kentucky and Mississippi; and 3) cool weather in California. Midwesterners ran for cover. Easterners celebrated with "giddiness usually reserved for the first days of spring." Pessimists called the weather a "spooky " reminder of Mother Nature's power and predicted further climatic changes from the greenhouse effect. The Indian hijacking crisis was resolved. The still-unidentified Islamic terrorists released their 155 hostages after India agreed to free three of their jailed comrades. The hijackers were given 10 hours to leave Afghanistan and have presumably vanished into Pakistan. India accused Pakistan of backing the hijacking and giving shelter to the terrorists. Pakistan accused India of playing politics with the hijacking. The rest of the world again worried about a nuclear confrontation between the two countries. The Washington Post denounced Afghanistan and Pakistan for "trying to have it both ways on terrorism. They play host to terrorist groups, yet wax indignant when terrorists hijack an aircraft." ( Slate 's "" rounds up overseas reactions to the hijacking, and "" outlines the history of the Kashmir conflict.) Putin It Nicely On New Year's Eve, Russian President Boris Yeltsin abruptly resigned, leaving Prime Minister Vladimir Putin as the country's acting president. Everyone expects Putin to win the presidency outright in the upcoming elections. But what kind of man is Putin? His detractors say he's a KGB spy, a believer in centralized power, and a ruthless prosecutor of the war in Chechnya. And what do his defenders say? That each of these vices is really a virtue. 1. He's a spy. Critics point to Putin's 15 years in the KGB, calling him a "KGB spy," "KGB agent," and "KGB colonel." One antagonist says Putin was dubbed "Stasi" (the name of the former East German secret service) for wielding behind-the-scenes power. Detractors use these terms to portray Putin as a Cold Warrior who can't be trusted with Russia's nukes. On television this weekend, U.S. Secretary of State Madeleine Albright and National Security Adviser Sandy Berger lent credence to this theory by arguing that Putin has "two strands": on one side, his KGB years, and on the other, his years as a "democratic reformer" in St. Petersburg. Putin's allies reject the two-strands theory. They argue that his KGB experience actually reinforced his interest in economic liberalization. As Putin's spokesman explained on Meet the Press , "Mr. Putin worked in the West. That's a very positive point. The people in the KGB, in some way, prepared perestroika because they were very open and they knew the exact situation in the economy, inside Russia, and what was happening outside." Putin's former mentor in St. Petersburg, ex-Mayor Anatoly Sobchak, told the New York Times , "He is a convinced supporter of the market economy. He knows the western model of economic and political life not as an outsider but from the inside." This counterspin is already making headway. Putin returned from his KGB service "steeped in Western business knowledge," says the Times . On This Week , Times Washington bureau chief Michael Oreskes noted that according to Putin's colleagues, "In his years as a KGB agent in Europe, he learned a lot about Western business practices, and that may be exactly what he needs to understand to solve" Russia's economic problems. 2. He's a socialist. American skeptics worry that Putin might wield too much state power over the economy and society, thereby undermining both capitalism and democracy. Putin, however, sees the state as the protector of honest capitalism and true democracy. "Any attempt to exceed the limits of the law and Russia's Constitution will be decisively crushed," he warned in his New Year's Eve message. "Freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, freedom of the press, the right to private property--all these basic principles of a civilized society will be reliably protected by the state." Putin's Russian allies, and even his enemies, agree that the chief threat to freedom in Russia today is too little power in the central government, not too much. But how can they make this case to the world's most powerful lender, the United States, in terms we can understand? By comparing Putin to former American presidents. "Putin has a wonderful opportunity to become for Russia what the Roosevelts are for America," Sobchak told the Times . The Times buys this analysis: "Theodore Roosevelt took on entrenched monopolies, helping small businesses to thrive and competition to flourish. Franklin Roosevelt reworked the federal government to aid the poor, improve education and create a less crash-prone financial system." Both men "amassed state power over the government and economy to shape the capitalistic system that exists today." 3. He's a strongman. Critics call Putin "cruel," a "dictator," and a "Russian Pinochet" who might suspend civil liberties to whip Russia into shape. They're particularly outraged by "Putin's War" in Chechnya. George W. Bush says he's "troubled" that Putin owes his popularity to the Chechen war. Bill Bradley and John McCain demand economic sanctions against Russia for its "brutal" assaults on Chechen civilians. On Meet the Press , Tim Russert said Putin had called the Chechen rebels "dark-skinned people who must be annihilated" and had warned that "they will be found in latrines and killed." Furthermore, Russert noted, "His first official visit was to Chechnya giving hunting knives to the Russian military." To make nice with Putin, U.S. officials have begun to rephrase complaints about the war. When asked about Russian "atrocities," they express regret about Russia's "actions." But they also frame the war as an unfortunate expression of a trait that could serve Putin well in other pursuits. When asked about Putin's vow to "annihilate" the Chechens, Albright called Putin "very determined" and "action-oriented." The media, too, have begun to use positive adjectives to describe Putin's conduct of the war: "aggressive," "tough-minded," "determined," "decisive," "uncompromising," "no-nonsense." How, according to Putin's supporters, will these traits make him a good leader? First, he can halt Russia's slide into chaos. Putin frames the Chechen war as a struggle to rein in "terrorism" and "the breakup of Russia," a rationale for which Berger and Albright express sympathy. Second, he can confront cronyism. Critics portray Putin as Yeltsin's pawn, installed by Yeltsin's daughter and other cronies to safeguard their financial interests and shield them from prosecution for corruption. By underscoring his image as a fearless strongman, Putin defies this critique. He began by "firing" Yeltsin's daughter, eliciting oohs and aahs from the world press, even though everyone expects her to stay on as an informal adviser. In view of Russia's endemic corruption, American pundits are reconsidering whether a strongman president is such a bad thing. "Does he have the power and the will to take on the robber barons?" asked George Stephanopoulos on This Week . "Will he tax them? Will he crack down on them? Will he clean them up?" Third, a ruthlessly efficient leader can win a ruthlessly efficient election and craft a ruthlessly efficient economy. Arguing for a quick end to the Chechen war, both Albright and Berger appeal not to Putin's mercy but to his political interests. "He now faces an election in three months," says Berger. "If the costs become too high for the Russians this could become an albatross around his neck in March." Never mind morality. When asked whether the United States should oppose loans to Russia because of the war, Berger replies, "It's a premature question because the predicate question is whether they get the economic reforms in order," at which point "we'll have to look at what's in our national interest." Here is an argument Americans can understand: We should judge Russia's president the same way we judge ours. "The test for Putin," says Berger, "is the economy, stupid." Gore Takes Round 1 Al Gore and Bill Bradley faced off Wednesday night in the first debate of 2000. Here's a play-by-play analysis of the debate's key themes and exchanges. 1. Ball control. In football, your opponent can't score unless he has the ball. Therefore, the longer you keep possession of the ball, the more likely you are to win the game. Gore is killing Bradley in this department by staying on the attack. Let's look at three plays from the debate. a) Moderator Peter Jennings asks each man whether his opponent has "ever taken a vote of yours or a quote out of context." Bradley says yes. Gore dances around the question ("I haven't complained about any. I won't accuse him of that"), then finally says no. Bradley gives the honest answer, but Gore gives the smart one. Normally, when you're invited to accuse your opponent of something, the smart course is to accept the offer. But look more closely: Jennings is inviting you to accuse your opponent of accusing you of something. You're the one ultimately being accused. Suppose you say you're angry that your opponent has accused you of kicking your dog. Some viewers, after turning off their televisions, will think your opponent is a vicious liar. But most will wonder whether you kick your dog. By saying no, Gore avoids this trap. Bradley, however, walks into it. He faults Gore for suggesting "that I was going to hurt African-Americans [and] Latinos with [my] health care program" and "that I am going to destroy Medicaid without saying what it is going to be replaced with." Bradley explains why Gore's charge is unfair, but Gore gets to repeat and elaborate on the accusation: "Medicaid is eliminated, and they're given instead a little $150 a month voucher. Not a single [health plan] can be purchased for anything close to $150 a month." Bradley explains that his $150 is a "weighted average," not a cap. But Gore tells a joke making fun of "weighted average" as a nerdy weasel word. Gore is lying about the "cap" and the "voucher." But politically, he wins the round, because both men end up spending several minutes discussing the principal charge against Bradley without discussing any of the charges against Gore. b) Another panelist asks each candidate whether "you have ever had to make a difficult decision that you knew would hurt you politically." Bradley picks a vote on which he differed from "most of my Democratic colleagues." Gore, however, picks two votes on which he differed specifically from Bradley: President Reagan's budget cuts ("I wish that Bill had stood up to that one") and the authorization to use force in the Persian Gulf (on which Bradley voted no). Bradley answers the question at face value. Gore uses it to land two good punches. c) Each candidate is invited to ask a question of the other. Bradley asks Gore why he isn't proposing universal health-insurance coverage. Gore neutralizes the question and turns it on Bradley. "Both of us have proposed the same goal: high-quality health care for all," says Gore. "I devoted $374 billion to the solvency of Medicare. You have not devoted one penny to ensuring the solvency of Medicare. And my question to you is: Why not?" Bradley complains that it's not Gore's time to ask questions. But Jennings replies that Gore can ask the question, and Bradley never gets off a solid answer to it. 2. Gore's credibility problem. Gore makes lots of allegations about Bradley's past votes and future plans. To sustain those allegations, Gore needs to husband his credibility. The best way to do this is to admit the truth when it's disadvantageous to him. He begins by making such a concession about the 1996 Democratic fund-raising scandal: "It was wrong. And I think that the phone calls that I made were a mistake." But as the debate goes on, Gore repeatedly strains credulity. He asks New Hampshire voters "to give me a come-from-behind upset victory here," and then, after Bradley points out the absurdity of Gore's plea--"Al, your underdog pitch brings tears to my eyes"--Gore repeats his claim that it would be an "upset victory." Yes, if Gore wins New Hampshire, he could argue that it's an upset. And, yes, he needs the media to buy into that assumption. But saying it so baldly, and then repeating it, is counterproductive. Gore does this all the time--"risky tax scheme," "no controlling legal authority," etc.--and seems incapable of controlling the habit. The problem is not that he comes off as a talking-points robot--which he does--but that he insults everyone's intelligence. He looks like a suck-up student who thinks he can get a good grade by parroting the professor's buzzwords. When he calls Republican tax cuts a "tax scheme" and calls his hypothetical New Hampshire victory an "upset," you get the feeling not only that he's twisting the truth, but also that he thinks you're too stupid to realize it. And the deeper that feeling sinks in, the less attention voters will pay to anything Gore says. 3. Bradley's arrogance problem. If Gore's flaw is dishonesty, Bradley's flaw is moral and intellectual vanity. Bradley began the campaign determined to convey his virtue and wisdom, and he succeeded. Now his problem is that he can't turn it off. The more he equates his candidacy with goodness and enlightenment, and the more condescendingly he dismisses Gore ("Let me explain to you, Al, how the private sector works. I can say that in much shorter words"), the more voters wonder whether Bradley knows his limits and is capable of learning from his mistakes. Gore, recognizing this Achilles' heel, goes after it with a crowbar. Reciting Bradley's votes for the Reagan budget cuts, against welfare reform, and against the use force in the Persian Gulf, Gore asks, "Would you vote differently on any of those three votes if you had it to do over again? Were they mistakes?" Bradley replies that they weren't, and Gore pounces on this answer: "I think all three were mistakes, but I'm not going to debate the details. My point is beyond that, Bill. In all those words about the three different votes, one word I didn't hear was the word 'mistake.' And here's why I think that is important. I think our country deserves a president who, when he makes a mistake, is willing to acknowledge it and willing to learn from it, because I believe that the presidency is not an academic exercise. It's not an extended seminar on theory. If I make a mistake, I'll do my best to own up to it and then to learn from it, and learn from you [the audience] about how we can deal with the reality as we find it." Eventually, Bradley remembers something he admits was a mistake--"I voted against Alan Greenspan the first time" --and everybody laughs. But Gore has found a big chink in Bradley's armor. He has found three votes on which Bradley took unpopular positions, and he has found that when pressed about those votes, Bradley exposes a character trait that puts off many voters. If history is any guide, Gore will exploit that dilemma for the rest of the campaign. But if Gore doesn't learn to stop talking like a used car salesman, nobody's going to be listening. Easy Ryder Movies Girl, Interrupted (Columbia Pictures). Excellent performances from the two leads, Winona Ryder and Angelina Jolie, lift this movie above the thicket of clichs it veers toward. Based on the best-selling memoirs of Susanna Kaysen, it follows a confused teen-age girl who checks herself into a mental institution and then finds that she can't check out. Although many note that this is "a junior-league One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest " (Owen Gleiberman, Entertainment Weekly ) and that the film lapses into trite battles between patients and hospital staff, the film stays mainly on target, at its best when displaying its "meticulous, true-to-life portrait of a time (the late 1960's) and place (the hothouse world of upper-middle-class Boston suburbia)" (Stephen Holden, the New York Times ). (Click here to visit the official site.) Topsy-Turvy (October Films). The critics gripe a bit but still give a standing ovation to Mike Leigh's ( Secrets and Lies ) new film, about a short span in the lives and work of Gilbert and Sullivan as they compose and stage The Mikado . "Only a lunatic would call Topsy-Turvy , with its lame first hour and host of loose ends, a masterpiece, but by the finale I was ready to have myself committed" (David Edelstein, Slate ). It's "one of those films that create a mix of erudition, pageantry and delectable acting opportunities, much as Shakespeare in Love did last year," and it "vigorously and amusingly explore[s] what it means for an artist to renew his energies by returning to square one" (Janet Maslin, the New York Times ). Several note its slow start and general disorganization: "[I]t teases us with the feeling that Leigh had a basic plan for the picture and never realized it" (Stanley Kauffmann, the New Republic ). (Click to read the rest of Edelstein's review in Slate .) Holy Smoke (Miramax). Jane Campion's ( The Piano ) latest offering draws divergent reactions, most tending toward the negative. Either it's "clumsy, lumpy" (Joe Morgenstern, the Wall Street Journal ), or the sparring of co-stars Kate Winslet and Harvey Keitel (as a cult member and her deprogrammer) makes for a film that "creates more man-woman electricity than any other movie this year" (Mike Clark, USA Today ). The film's core, a showdown between Keitel and Winslet, is "a knockabout fusion of sexual warfare, New Age therapy, cross-generational Socratic dialogue, and feminist role reversal" (Owen Gleiberman, Entertainment Weekly ). Mentioned in nearly every review: 1) Winslet bares all; 2) Keitel ends up in a red dress and lipstick. (Click here to watch the trailer.) Tumbleweeds (Fine Line Features). The second free-spirit-mom-on-the-run-with-teen-age-daughter story in three months receives much better reviews than the first ( Anywhere But Here ): It "impresses with its freshly considered action and total avoidance of the stale and routine" (Jay Carr, the Boston Globe ). British stage actress Janet McTeer's performance as the mother stands out, and the low-budget, genuine feeling of the film results in "one of the few movies ever made that doesn't feel like a movie," in which the characters "throb and course with life" (Stephen Hunter, the Washington Post ). (Click to read David Edelstein's review in Slate .) Book Miss Wyoming , by Douglas Coupland (Pantheon). Has Coupland, once on the cutting edge with Generation X , lost his touch? Critics seem to think so. Always read "more for his trend-setting insights than his novelistic dexterity," he loses his hipster cred with this novel "by jumping on the already tired beauty-pageant-bashing bandwagon" ( Publishers' Weekly ). Even worse, "his brand labels are just slightly faded," and the story feels "curiously clipped and uptight" (Tom Shone, the New York Times ). On a more positive note, many also point out that despite his faux pas, Coupland has put together "a brilliant set of riffs" on pop culture and Hollywood life (James Poniewozik, Time ). (Click here to see some of the furniture the author has designed.) Vote Here We don't wish to seem like what our colleague David Plotz refers to as "Turnout Bores," but it really is a pity if you missed the chance to exercise that precious gift of democracy, your right to vote, Tuesday. What the high-minded Turnout Bores usually fail to emphasize in their tiresome calls to moral responsibility ("How can you leave all those referendums untouched when children are starving in Russia?") is that voting is fun. Having been through those huge postwar sci-fi voting machines, and then those infernal punch-card contraptions seemingly designed to deny the franchise to the bottom nine-tenths of the bell curve, we especially enjoyed the new technological breakthrough adopted by the election board (or whoever) here in suburban Seattle. It works this way: You are given a piece of paper listing the candidates and propositions (a "ballot"), you indicate your choices using a device called (we believe) a "felt-tipped pen," then you deposit the piece of paper through a slot in a large container called a "ballot box." What happens to the piece of paper after that we neither know nor care--having voted and thus earned our right to feel smug all day. This being the Pacific Northwest, the ballot is undoubtedly recycled. But if the citizens who open and empty the ballot box can suppress their eagerness to recycle these pieces of paper long enough to count them first, so much the better. In case you did miss voting Tuesday, or even if you voted, here is another chance. Nothing so trivial as control of Congress is at stake. The issue is this: Should Slate on Paper include everything published in Slate the previous week or only as much as can be crammed into 44 standard-size pages? Slate on Paper is the text document we prepare every Friday morning. It is available to subscribers by download from slate.com, by e-mail, or (for $70, including your basic online Slate subscription) in an actual paper edition through the U.S. mail. Right now we limit Slate on Paper to 44 pages because a) we doubt many people would wish to download and print out more than that; and b) the snail mailed version (which believe it or not is just a break-even proposition for us) would have to cost more like $100 than $70 if it gets any heavier. But as Slate has grown, this policy has required us to exclude more and more. And some readers have complained that when they print out Slate , they want all of it. (Actually, our reader surveys suggest that about half of those who download the text document read it on-screen rather than printing it out. For these folks, presumably, size is not as much of an issue.) We are in a genuine quandary. We exist only to give pleasure but are unsure in this case how to maximize your pleasure in Slate . So we decided to take a vote. Highly unscientific, of course, but (like all voting) fun. Readers who have never used Slate on Paper in any of its myriad forms, and have no intention of doing so, should please sit on their hands. The rest of you: Please vote now. We have done our best to word the question in a neutral way, giving unfair advantage to neither side. We reserve the right, of course, to ignore the voters' wishes. Just like in a real election. The official language of this referendum is as follows: Should Slate on Paper , the weekly text version of Slate magazine, be limited to just 44 pages, no matter how much wonderful writing and brilliant insight must be excluded as a result? Or should Slate on Paper include everything published online at slate.com the previous week, no matter how many pages it takes or how long the Breakfast Tablers or Book Clubbers blather on? The options: "And you call yourselves editors? Well, edit for heaven's sake. 44 pages is plenty." (Vote: 44 pages .) "Look, I paid 20 bucks for this rag, and I want all of it. Don't give me this crap about how the crab claws wouldn't fit on the smorgasbord table." (Vote: Without limit .) --Michael Kinsley Dismembering Mr. Shawn's New Yorker  From Dusk 'Til Shawn. Which New Yorker staffer loved Mr. William Shawn the most? Despite what other biographers might have you believe, it was Ralph Treadwell, The New Yorker 's longtime night-shift guard, whose loyalty to Shawn ran deepest. Though the two never met, Treadwell would often pass the long, quiet hours in the great editor's office, poring over Mr. Shawn's marked-up manuscripts of New Yorker pieces. It was there, he says, that he met his "only true hero" and began a lifelong love affair with copy editing. William Shawn, Man of Letters. Dolores Farber, a Minnesota housewife, corresponded with Mr. Shawn for over 30 years through two wars, through seven presidential administrations, and through Mr. Shawn's entire tenure as New Yorker editor. After a 10-year silence, Farber has finally come forward to publish 300 pages of their hitherto secret correspondence. In letter after letter Mr. Shawn gracefully responds to Farber's lengthy missives of life, love, and loss with reassuring replies, always beginning with the familiar greeting, "We regret that we are unable to use the enclosed material." I Barely Remember Mr. Shawn's New Yorker. She was only in the typing pool for three weeks during the winter of 1964, but Ethel Witcomb remembers it as though it were yesterday. Sort of. She vividly recalls what time she clocked in (8:30 a.m.) and how much she paid for lunch at the Tastee Coffeeshop on West 43 rd ($2.75), but critics will find that she's a bit vague on other facts and details, when she writes, for example, "I think Mr. Shawn was the bald one. And he was short. Yeah, I'm almost positive he was short. He smelled sweet, too ... like bacon. Best-smelling man at Esquire , Mr. Shawn." Shawn But Not Forgotten. Most New Yorker ites knew Mr. Shawn for his thoughtful repose, but the old fellow could enjoy a good joke from time to time. Mail-room manager Frank Letty recalls that Shawn would occasionally beckon him into his office and, with a smile, offer a dry remark about the Yankees or the weather. Always one to reciprocate, Letty would frequently sneak his mail cart up behind the aging Shawn in the office halls, snap his butt with a rubber band, and yell, "Special delivery for ya, Shawnsy." Outside Mr. Shawn's New Yorker. To New Yorker writers, Mr. Shawn was a brilliant, commanding editor, whose pen could make a phrase sparkle on the page. Not so to the man who sold him his candied nuts. Jack O'Rourke, who saw Mr. Shawn nearly every day from his cart outside the New Yorker offices, remembers him as a cold, taciturn man, who rarely said more than, "A bag of nuts, please," or "I think I'll have some of those tasty nuts." Below Mr. Shawn's New Yorker. The novelists, journalists, and thinkers whose prose filled Shawn's New Yorker spent much of their days roaming the office halls, striking up spirited discussions of literature or current affairs. But for Tony Gerwitz, whose accounting firm occupied the floor immediately below the magazine, the era was marked only by a loud, unceasing trudging overhead. "Intellectuals are all well and good," writes Gerwitz in his memoir, "but when they're stomping around above you all day, it becomes hard to balance the books." Inside Mr. Shawn. A Fantastic Voyage -style fantasy about four New Yorker writers who feel so strongly about Mr. Shawn that they miniaturize themselves and have themselves injected into the great editor's bloodstream. By traveling up into his brain, they discover the awesome secret of Mr. Shawn's editing prowess. The book ends before the readers discover the answer, but there will, we are told, be a sequel. Murdoch and Gays If you missed the most recent installments of this column, here they are: posted Friday, Nov. 6, and Tuesday, Nov. 3. Britain's biggest circulation newspaper, Rupert Murdoch's tabloid the Sun , asked on its front page Monday, "Are we being run by a gay Mafia?" This was a comment on the fact that Tony Blair's 21 member Cabinet until lately contained four known homosexuals. One of them, Culture Secretary Chris Smith, has been openly gay for many years. Welsh Secretary Ron Davies recently had to resign after an encounter in a well-known gay haunt in south London, which led to him being mugged. Trade and Industry Secretary Peter Mandelson, the architect of Blair's election victory last year, was "outed" last week on television, and Agriculture Secretary Nick Brown outed himself on the weekend after a former gay lover tried to sell the story of their relationship to Murdoch's Sunday paper, the News of the World . In its front-page editorial, the Sun , which used to have a homophobic reputation, claimed that the Brown affair had "set alarm bells ringing"--"[n]ot because people despise gays, or fear them, or wish to pillory them," but because "the public has a right to know how many homosexuals occupy positions of high power." It went on, "Their sexuality is not the problem. ... The worry is their membership of a closed world of men with a mutual self-interest ... there are widespread fears that Members of Parliament, even ministers, are beholden to others for reasons other than politics." The paper also announced a "hotline" for gay MPs to phone. "Do you want to come out?" it asked: Are you a gay MP who'd like to come out? The Sun has set up a hotline on 0171 782 4105 for ministers and MPs who are secretly homosexual. Don't worry about the cost, we'll ring you back. I called several times, but the line was always busy. Murdoch's upscale newspaper, the Times, welcomed what it saw as a new public tolerance in the generally favorable response to Brown's admission of his homosexuality and said Monday that "the media appear to be lagging behind the electorate whose mores reflect a more forgiving view of what they expect of their MPs. ... American politics appear to be undergoing a similar transformation." "Last week's elections suggest that American voters either did not care about President Clinton's private life, or saw it as irrelevant to their political choices." The liberal Guardian accused Murdoch of playing a double game by allowing one of his British tabloids effectively to "out" a Cabinet minister and another to announce "that homosexuality is a state of being so unremarkable that it is astonishing that people still think it worthy of comment." Asking how Murdoch would justify the News of the World 's outing of Brown, the Guardian said in an editorial Monday: "It is, of course, a futile question. Mr Murdoch lives in America and can never be held accountable for the effects his British papers have on our culture. He cosies up to politicians or parties he thinks might be useful to the promotion of his business interests. He berates them or threatens to withdraw his affections when they do not jump with sufficient alacrity to his orders." Of Blair, who has enjoyed close relations with Murdoch, the paper said, "With every passing day he has a clearer idea of Mr Murdoch and his true nature. He should sup with a long spoon." In Israel, the liberal Ha'aretz led its front page Monday with a report that political pressure at Cabinet level was preventing the army from taking action against at least five new hilltop outposts that settlers have built in the West Bank since the Wye agreement was signed two weeks ago. "Other than confiscating a single tractor last week--returned to its owner yesterday--the army has taken no action to stop the construction," the paper said. On Sunday, Ha'aretz urged the Israeli government to ratify the Wye agreement soon, despite the renewal of suicide attacks against Israelis by Palestinian terrorists. It said in an editorial, "A diplomatic policy of vengeance--a vicious circle of terrorism and settlement--would not only disrupt implementation of the Wye accord, it would also steer Israeli-Palestinian relations away from the path of accord, perhaps irrevocably." In the conservative Jerusalem Post, Professor Efraim Inbar of Bar-Ilan University said in an op-ed piece Monday that Israelis were now more interested in their personal security than in the security of their country. "The new notion of personal security has eclipsed the traditional Israeli preoccupation with assuring the security of the Jewish state and its society in the midst of a hostile environment," he wrote. But he warned against this tendency, saying that Israeli society's "unwillingness to sacrifice some of its standard of living to acquire better defenses against less concrete and immediate threats could be destructive." Cannibalism Faster than you can say "Republican revolution," Newt Gingrich has surrendered his job as speaker of the House, and House Appropriations Committee Chairman Bob Livingston, R-La., has wrapped up the contest to replace him. The media has already reached consensus on Livingston: He represents "moderation," as opposed to Gingrich's conservatism, and "management," as opposed to Gingrich's emphasis on ideology. "Support for Livingston Represents Move Toward Pragmatism," says Monday's New York Times front page. Other House leadership positions are up for grabs, too, and the candidates for these jobs have joined Livingston and his enemies in the ideology-pragmatism debate. Gingrich was "a revolutionary," Livingston argued Sunday on ABC's This Week ; "I am a manager." But once again, the Republicans and the media are failing to grasp the message of the 1998 elections. It's not about ideology. It's not about competence. It's about self-absorption. The performance of Livingston and two other leadership candidates on This Week illustrates how the House coup, far from solving the GOP's problems, is moving Republicans in the wrong direction. Instead of confronting the public's material concerns, they're engrossed in blaming each other and promoting themselves. Speaking for the new "management" school, Livingston advertised himself as a speaker who would "provide the legislative machinery" to implement legislation. When asked about his role as appropriations chairman in this year's sloppily assembled half-trillion dollar budget bill, he replied that he had said at the time, "This is ugly, but we have to pass it and get out of here and go get re-elected." When asked about the GOP's pork-laden $217 billion highway bill, he said opponents of the bill were right and that he "was opposed in the preliminary" votes but "ended up voting for the final bill," since "a lot of people are going to have highways because of that bill and a lot of people are going to have jobs because of that bill." When asked whether House Republicans had mishandled the Lewinsky investigation, Livingston answered, "I don't know. I personally was trying to get my appropriations bills out ... and I wasn't paying that much attention to what was going on." As for the election results, he blamed conservative voters who "stayed home from the polls because they're sulking because they didn't get everything they wanted." Rep. J.C. Watts, R-Okla., who ostensibly represents the party's conservative wing, followed Livingston on the show. His principal diagnosis of the election was that his colleagues hadn't heeded his wisdom about appealing to ethnic minorities. "I feel like I've been beating my head on the wall for the last four years and saying that we've got to reach out," he lamented. Rather than address the moral implications of this oversight, Watts went on to explain how Republicans, by electing him, could capitalize politically on new audiences. "I haven't just talked about this outreach thing, I've done it," he asserted. "I've executed the game plan." Finally, speaking for the incumbents, Rep. John Boehner, R-Ohio, explained why he should be re-elected as chairman of the House Republican Conference. Boehner agreed that the leadership needed to be changed. "We have got to manage the House in a much different way," he said. "There were no clear lines of responsibility in the leadership. No clear lines of accountability." But when asked about his own responsibility for the party's failure, he replied, "Most members of the conference really believe that with Newt's decision to leave, that's enough change--that the problems, in terms of managing the House, were mostly in the speaker's office." When pressed as to whether he had made any mistakes, Boehner bravely allowed, "I don't think it is any secret to anyone that the speaker and I had our share of disagreements over the last four years about how we operated." When asked about the GOP's failure to pass budget bills by June 30, as required by law, he replied, "No one has paid attention to the Budget Act since it was enacted." And summing up his rationale for re-election, he emphasized "the services that I've provided with my staff to the members." The conventional media analysis of the GOP leadership struggle is that Watts, fellow Oklahoma Republican Rep. Steve Largent, and other conservatives are taking on Livingston, Boehner, and the "pragmatists." And the media's implicit conclusion is that the pragmatists would turn the GOP toward the mandate for moderation that was delivered in the elections. But Gingrich's description of the House coup--"cannibalism"--is more accurate. The candidates for the Republican leadership are conveying a preoccupation not with solving the nation's problems but with protecting themselves individually and devouring each other. And if there's one thing the electorate seems to disdain more than the violence of the cannibals, it's the narcissism of their palates. Recent "Frame Games" "The C Word": The 1998 election didn't kill conservatism. The postelection analysis did. (posted Friday, Nov. 6, 1998) "Election Night Excuses": William Saletan analyzes 20 classic postelection spins. (posted Monday, Nov. 2, 1998) Movies Meet Joe Black (Universal Pictures). Critics call this remake of Death Takes a Holiday a "somnolent, emotion-free weepie" (Janet Maslin, the New York Times ). Faults: It's way too long (almost three hours), and Brad Pitt's performance as Death is crushingly zombielike. Those who can tolerate the movie's saccharine overdose praise the solid performances by Anthony Hopkins, as the tycoon whom Pitt has come to escort to the other side, and Claire Forlani, as the tycoon's daughter who falls in love with Pitt. (Is Brad Pitt the worst actor on earth? Read David Edelstein's review in Slate to find out.) Celebrity (Miramax Films). Critical response to Woody Allen's cult of celebrity sendup is all over the map. Some call it "horrifically funny" (Jack Kroll, Newsweek ); others call it "rambling" (Jack Mathews, Newsday ). Is Kenneth Branagh's performance as a Woody Allen-like character--complete with Allen's tics and mannerisms--dead on or a mistake? Has Allen revealed truths about Americans' celebrity lust, or is he out of touch with reality? Maslin calls Leonardo DiCaprio's performance as a bratty bad boy actor "show-stopping," and most other critics agree. (Edelstein says DiCaprio's performance "reminds you why movie stars sometimes deserve to be worshipped." Read the rest of his review in Slate .) I'll Be Home for Christmas (Buena Vista Pictures). This Planes, Trains & Automobiles with a Christmas twist is thrashed: "[It] doesn't make you want to deck the halls as much as deck those responsible for it" (Renee Graham, the Boson Globe ). Home Improvement heartthrob Jonathan Taylor Thomas plays a spoiled college kid who, after a hard journey home for the holidays, sees the error of his ways. Roger Ebert calls it "unrelentingly corny" ( Chicago Sun-Times ). (Visit the official site.) I Still Know What You Did Last Summer (Columbia Pictures). This sequel is called "as uninspired as its title" (Dave Kehr, the Daily News ). Scrubbed and chipper Jennifer Love Hewitt teams up with pop star Brandy to battle the slicker-clad slasher they thought was killed in the original I Know What You Did Last Summer . Full of cheap horror tricks and nowhere near as good as its predecessor, the film is a "fairly silly and ultra-gory schlocker/shocker" (Kevin Thomas, the Los Angeles Times ). (Visit the Jennifer Love Hewitt Resource Center.) Dancing at Lughnasa (Sony Pictures Classics). Meryl Streep wows the critics. This time her perfect accent is Irish, the setting a depressed Irish town in the 1930s, and the story an adaptation of a stage play about five unmarried sisters. Some critics complain that "for all the crinkle and lilt" of the dialogue and the top-notch ensemble cast, the film "sags in the middle" (Stanley Kauffman, the New Republic ). Maslin warns that the film is "a collection of sea changes and splendidly realized small moments rather than a story of overarching action." (Visit the official site.) Book Fashionable Nonsense: Postmodern Intellectuals' Abuse of Science , by Alan Sokal and Jean Bricmont (Picador). The perpetrator of Sokal's Hoax teams up with another physicist to debunk what they call "postmodern relativism." Some critics are gleeful. "Mr. Sokal has delivered the coup de grace : a book-length expos of the scientific ignorance of today's science bashers" (Heather MacDonald, the Wall Street Journal ). Others say the book overreaches. In the New York Times Book Review , Jim Holt compares it to the Starr report--both share "a certain confusion about the gravity and nature of the sins of their targets." (Read the rest of Holt's review here. Requires free registration.) Music Spirit , by Jewel (Atlantic). Critics are surprisingly positive about the singer/songwriter/best-selling poet/soon-to-be film actress' second album after the 8 million copy selling Pieces of You . Musically she has matured, and her trademark folksy-bluesy-pop songs are dubbed "sweet, soulful" (Veronica Chambers, Newsweek ). The lyrics, however are said to be full of hokey self-helpisms, and the album "overflows with advice intended to be inspirational" (Jon Pareles, the New York Times ). (Buy the album online.) Recent "Summary Judgment" columns Nov. 11: Movie -- The Siege ; Movie -- Elizabeth ; Movie -- The Waterboy ; Movie -- Velvet Goldmine ; Book -- Shakespeare: The Invention of the Human , by Harold Bloom; Music -- Bruce Springsteen: Tracks , by Bruce Springsteen; Opera -- Le Nozze di Figaro , Metropolitan Opera, New York City. Nov. 4: Movie -- American History X ; Movie -- John Carpenter's Vampires ; Movie -- Life Is Beautiful ; Movie -- Living Out Loud ; Art --"Jackson Pollock" (Museum of Modern Art, New York City); Book -- A Man in Full , by Tom Wolfe. Oct. 28: Movie -- Pleasantville ; Movie -- Apt Pupil ; Movie -- Soldier ; Book -- King of the World: The Rise of Muhammad Ali , by David Remnick; Book -- Evening , by Susan Minot; Book -- Bech at Bay: A Quasi-Novel , by John Updike. Oct. 21: Movie -- Beloved ; Movie -- Bride of Chucky ; Movie -- Practical Magic ; Theater -- Corpus Christi , by Terrence McNally (Manhattan Theatre Club); Music -- Live: 1966 , by Bob Dylan; Book -- The Poisonwood Bible , by Barbara Kingsolver. --Eliza Truitt Israel: Giving Peace a Chance? If you missed the most recent installments of this column, here they are: posted Friday, Nov. 20, and Tuesday, Nov. 17. Le Monde of Paris showed sudden optimism Sunday about a Middle East peace settlement. In an editorial titled "Israeli Neorealism," it said that the hand-over of the little West Bank town of Kasbatieh last Friday shows that "very slowly, in distrust, recrimination, and mutual regret, by the government of Benjamin Netanyahu and also by Yasser Arafat, the Israelis and the Palestinians are progressing toward peace." Pointing out that Netanyahu had battled against the Oslo accords and promised his fellow countrymen that they wouldn't have to give up territory in exchange for peace, Le Monde said he has now come to recognize that territorial concessions are necessary. "In his day, another Likud leader, Menachem Begin, went down the same road," the paper said. "He said that Sinai belonged to the Israelis. And to make peace with Egypt, he gave it Sinai, even charging a certain Ariel Sharon--now foreign minister--to expel the settlers who had established themselves there. Are we permitted to dream?" On the continuing showdown with Iraq, the liberal Independent of London called for the lifting of sanctions because, "in the long run, free trade is the surest way to undermine totalitarianism." In an editorial Monday (once you're on the page, scroll down to read the piece), the Independent said it is now widely assumed that "the object of Western policy in Iraq is the removal of Saddam Hussein--a polite way of saying killing him, because it is hard to see how he might be dislodged otherwise." But the paper said that even if it is argued that the rule of law would continue to be flouted as long as Saddam was in power, "there can be no consensus that the death penalty is called for." In Paris, Libration published extracts from a conversation between its Moscow correspondent and Galina Starovoitova, President Boris Yeltsin's former adviser, three days before her assassination in St. Petersburg last Friday. "The greatest threat today is the lack of a liberal anchorage in the country," she was quoted as saying. "The people are disoriented. There is a political void." The conservative Le Figaro of Paris said Russia is haunted by "political terror" and described Starovoitova as the latest victim of "a series of politico-Mafia murders." Despite the furor in Turkey over Italy's refusal to extradite Abdullah Ocalan, the Kurdish rebel leader, the Turkish Daily News said Saturday that "it would be wrong and even self-defeating to make the entire Italian nation pay the price for the mistakes of a few misinformed and misguided people in their government. ... We do not and should not have a vendetta against the Italian people. So let us stop this campaign of antagonism towards Italy and start using our resources and friends in Italy to convey our clear messages to the masses." London's Financial Times pointed out in an editorial Monday that Ocalan is being sought on charges of violence and terrorism not only in Turkey but also in Germany. It proposed that Germany request his extradition from Italy and put him on trial for the offenses of which he is accused there. At the same time, it called on the Turkish authorities "to answer the genuine demands of the Kurdish people for more autonomy and more economic development." A military solution "is neither workable nor stable," the paper said. "That should be the clear and repeated message from Turkey's friends in Europe, the US and the Middle East." The Independent reported on its front page Monday that six leading London law firms are being investigated on suspicion of laundering profits from drug trafficking, gun running, and contract killings by international racketeers, including Colombian cocaine barons and the Mafia. Saying the firms include "household names," the paper added that they are suspected of acting as fronts for clients who include "crime syndicates in eastern Europe, Italy and the US, British gangs and the Colombian cartels." It quoted police sources as saying that arrests are imminent. In Israel Monday, the Jerusalem Post said that, next week, Israel will "officially release a so-called dirty list, containing the names of more than a dozen international organizations, both public and private, which the government alleges hold information on Holocaust victims and other related activities, which they are refusing to publish." Bobby Brown, the Israeli prime minister's adviser on Diaspora affairs, will release the names during the State Department's Holocaust era restitution conference starting in Washington Sunday, the paper said, adding that the list will include the Vatican, the Czech Republic, the KGB, and Britain's MI-5 espionage service. On the sale in New York of Vincent van Gogh's Self-Portrait Without Beard for $71 million, the Financial Times --noting that his Portrait of Dr. Gachet , bought in 1990 for $82.5 million by Japanese industrialist Ryoei Saito, reportedly was sold off to satisfy creditors after Saito's death--said that "Van Gogh, the artistic genius, has been reduced to the status of mere collateral." It concluded, "The price of artistic genius, it seems, is often a better guide to the state of the banking market than the aesthetic spirit of the age." On Rereading Old age is the new rage. That was apparent even before John Glenn, aged 77, went up into space. There are more old people than ever. Many of them have word processors. Many of those pass their free time writing. And, following the advice of all teachers of writing, they write about what they know, which is old age. So there is a lot of writing on that subject. Even Jimmy Carter has written a book about old age. Wanting to keep up with this trend, I have just reread the classic on the subject, Marcus Tullius Cicero's "De Senectute." The last time I read it was 68 years ago. I read it then in Latin. Today I read it in the wonderful Loeb Classic Library edition, with the Latin on the left page and the English on the right. I read the right page. I can hardly believe that I read it in Latin when I was a junior in high school. And I can't imagine what I learned about old age, reading it in my teens. We didn't read "De Senectute" to learn about old age. My Latin teacher believed that reading Latin--any Latin--made tiny grooves in your brain that increased your general intelligence--not just your capacity to read Latin. Cicero wrote the essay in 44 B.C., when he was 62 years old. One might think that was pretty old for a Roman of that time, but Cicero evidently didn't think it was old enough to qualify him to discourse on the subject. He wrote in the voice of Cato the Elder in the year 150 B.C., when Cato was 84 years old. In fact, Cicero did not live to experience much old age. The year after writing the essay he was executed for being on the wrong side of a political dispute. The essay consists of a long answer by Cato to questions posed by two younger men, one 35 and one 36. They ask him "on what principles we may most easily support the weight of increasing years." Cato breaks down the question. He identifies four reasons why old age appears to be an unhappy time: First, it withdraws us from active pursuits. Second, it makes the body weaker. Third, it deprives us of all physical pleasures. And fourth, it is not far removed from death. He then discusses these four concerns. Translating the answers into the English of 1998, they almost all consist of saying that the quality of one's old age depends on the investments one made in earlier years. I don't refer, and Cicero didn't either, to financial investments that assure one a comfortable income in old age. (Cicero came from a wealthy family.) I am sure that financial investments are important, and I don't suppose Cicero would have denied that. But there are other kinds of investments implicit in Cicero's discussion. The most obvious is investment in one's health and bodily strength. I don't think the Romans of Cicero's time had a cigarette problem. But it seems clear from the examples he gives that having a satisfactory old age depends on adequacy of physical exercise and moderation of eating and drinking in the years before. Another investment important for old age is friendships. Cicero has Cato say, "I have always had my club companions." Cato takes pride in having been instrumental, when he was 30 years old, in establishing certain clubs in Rome, "and therefore I used to dine with these companions--in an altogether moderate way, yet with a certain ardor appropriate to my age, which, as time goes on, daily mitigates my zest for every pleasure." Being a Stoic, Cicero-Cato does not regret but rather welcomes the decline of appetite for what he calls "sensual" pleasure. (Cato quotes a man who asked Sophocles whether, being old, he still indulged in "the delights of love." When I look across the page at the Latin I see rebus veneriis , which looks more like sexual love--but it's a long time since I studied Latin, and I may be wrong.) In any case, he praises the value of the intellectual and aesthetic pleasures in which an old man can still indulge. But to fully appreciate art, science, and nature in old age requires some prior investment in cultivating them. An even older source reminds me of an investment for old age at which Cicero only hints. Genesis 24:1 says, "And Abraham was old, well stricken in age: and the Lord had blessed Abraham in all things." According to my rabbi (I don't want to pretend to be a student of such things), later commentators said that meant that Abraham was blessed with the recognition that he had passed the trials of his life with valor and devotion and could now enjoy a peaceful retirement, content in his own eyes and in the eyes of God. He had, in today's parlance, paid his dues. That is another investment one can make for old age: so to conduct oneself in prior years that one can feel one has paid one's dues. On the final question of how to invest to prepare for the proximity of death in old age, Cicero is not very helpful. (Who is?) He offers his "philosophical" view. Death brings at least an end to those troublesome appetites and may open the way to something better--he doesn't say what. Perhaps one could indoctrinate oneself in that attitude in youth and so prepare for old age. But obviously Cicero did not find that philosophy sufficient. As the introduction to the Loeb edition says, "In February 45 [a year before he wrote "De Senectute"] the death of his adored and only daughter drove him into a frenzy of writing in an effort to forget his grief." He did not accept the fact of his daughter Tullia's death with the thought that she had at least escaped all appetites. His philosophy might have prepared him for his own death; it did not prepare him for the death of one he loved. Later he wrote an essay titled "Consolatio," which probably dealt with this subject and which I have not read. If he was rescued from his grief, it was apparently time and work, not philosophy, that rescued him. : Herbert Stein thanks his high-school Latin teacher. Turkey Slate 's Thanksgiving schedule: Our weekly text file, Slate on Paper , will be in your e-mail in-box or available for download two days early, around midday Wednesday. A nearly full week's worth of Slate will also be posted online Wednesday. After that it gets pretty quiet around here, but check in throughout the long weekend for "Today's Papers" and in case Chatterbox has a postprandial thought or two. Fixings "So," we e-mailed Steven Brill, "did they ask your question?" In Slate last week, the founder and editor in chief of Brill's Content proposed a killer question for the House Judiciary Committee to ask Kenneth Starr. The question, which actually was a long series of questions, boiled down to: "Will you waive any privileges you have so we can get to the bottom of whether your office has been illegally leaking to reporters?" Brill replied that several Democrats had asked the question, but Starr had refused to answer on the grounds that a federal judge had ordered the investigation of these leaks to be kept confidential. Brill noted that this order for confidentiality had been requested by Starr himself. Brill's question could have been a lot simpler. It could have been something like: "Have you or anyone in your office leaked information from grand jury testimony to the press--before or after the testimony was given?" As any newspaper reader knows, the correct answer to this question is obviously yes. But Starr couldn't say yes because he's said variations on no for months and would be conceding a public lie. Is this beginning to sound familiar? Brill didn't do it the easy way for two good reasons. First, he is admirably opposed to perjury traps, and therefore he didn't want to be seen as proposing a tooth for a tooth. And in fact he did not propose one: His question involved stripping away Starr's protections against the truth, not forcing him to repeat the lie under solemn oath. Second, Brill, as a media philosopher, is understandably queasy about using the law to "out" journalists' confidential sources. He has an explanation of why it's OK in this case, but his queasiness moderates his delight at putting the screws on Starr the way Starr put them on Clinton. But let us rise above high-mindedness for a moment. The symmetry between Starr's case against Clinton and the case against Starr himself is so striking that it would seem heavy-handed in the plot of an opera. The general arc of self-destruction is the same: Like Clinton, Starr did something wrong but not fatally wrong. Then he issued a mixture of lies and weasels about it, making it virtually impossible for him to give an honest answer if asked a straightforward question. That gave his enemies a way to trap him into an undeniably serious crime: perjury under oath in an investigation of alleged high crimes by the president of the United States. In both cases, the investigation itself would produce the crime. Many details are also eerily similar: Starr's leaks pretty clearly violated the federal rules of criminal procedure, just as Clinton's lies in the Paula Jones deposition pretty clearly violated the perjury laws. But neither the rules nor the laws are usually enforced in circumstances like these. Prosecutors leak all the time. As Brill points out in the December issue of his magazine, Starr's weasels laughably echo Clinton's. Clinton has said oral sex doesn't count. Starr has said that leaking grand jury testimony before it's actually delivered doesn't count. Both men skillfully make their weasels do double duty: keeping them kosher on a technicality and misleading the public about the actual facts. Is Clinton saying he didn't commit perjury because of the peculiar definition of sex in the Paula Jones suit, or is he saying he actually didn't have sex? Is Starr saying he didn't violate the criminal procedure rules because he doesn't believe they apply to pre-testimony leaks, or is he saying he actually didn't leak? The answer is yes to all four. Starr has been especially squirmy about this. He has made his pre-testimony-leaks-don't-apply argument in sealed court papers and also has publicly denied believing anything so foolish, Brill points out. Like Clinton, Starr has used nonexistent or self-imposed secrecy requirements to avoid answering troublesome questions. Clinton invoked grand jury secrecy, though you are always free to reveal your own testimony. Starr, as noted, asked for the leak investigation to be put under seal, then publicly regretted his inability to discuss a matter under seal. Starr is not persuaded by the White House's various novel theories of "privilege" (exemption from testifying) for Secret Service agents, family pets, and so on. In fact, the very raising of these privileges in court--and dropping them when the judge says no--is one of the counts in Starr's this-is-not-an-indictment of the president. Yet Starr, too, has run a few novel and self-interested public interest theories up the flagpole, such as his claim that his leaking (if it exists, which it doesn't) is covered by a rule that allows prosecutors to reassure the public about the integrity of an investigation. His investigation's integrity, he notes, has been challenged. This is a delightful example of what lawyers call a "bootstrap argument": If anyone points out that you've broken the rules, that's a challenge to your integrity, which requires reassuring the public, which means you have no longer broken the rules! Anyway, as Clinton's lawyer David Kendall pointed out at the hearing, this rule is about official statements, not anonymous leaks. Finally, despite all the evasive techniques, Clinton and Starr have both told the lies they struggled to avoid. No one thinks even oral sex, as practiced outside the laboratory, actually escapes the Paula Jones suit's stringent definition of which organs must come into contact with which body parts. As for Starr, as Kendall pointed out at the hearing, the independent counsel put out a press release the day Flytrap broke declaring, "Because of confidentiality requirements, we are unable to comment on any aspect of our work." (At the hearing Starr told Kendall he disagreed with his own press release.) In his massive reply to Brill's massive "Pressgate" article, Starr wrote that Brill was "mistaken" to assume that it was the "practice" of Starr or his office "to release to media the contents of statements made by witnesses outside the grand jury." He wrote, "Let me repeat categorically: the OIC [Office of Independent Counsel] does not release grand jury material directly or indirectly, on the record or off the record." I suppose the words "practice" and "grand jury testimony" leave Starr a tiny bit of wiggle room. It would be a joy to watch him perform that particular wiggle. Letters to Brill, of course, are not under oath. At the impeachment hearing last Friday, Barney Frank, D-Mass., tried to spring the perjury trap, but Starr thwarted him by repeating that he didn't do any illegal leaking (he didn't add "by my definition") and that he couldn't discuss the matter because it was "under seal" (he didn't add "at my request"). But all is not lost. Kendall, the president's lawyer, not even intending a perjury trap, asked Starr whether anybody had been fired for leaking, and Starr said, "No, because I don't believe anyone has leaked grand jury information." That's awfully close. Once again, words such as "believe" and "grand jury information" give Starr some possible defenses. But invoking such defenses publicly would destroy his reputation. He could invoke them if called before a grand jury and hope that word didn't leak out, but tragically--and mysteriously!--it has a way of doing so. Starr, in short, fell into a perjury trap that no one had even set. Should we snap it shut or release him? The best case that can be made for letting President Clinton off the hook for Flytrap--besides the fact that everyone is sick to death of it, which strictly speaking is not a legal argument--is that he was caught in a perjury trap. Consensual sex between adults is no crime, lying about an ancillary matter in a civil suit deposition is a crime that would never normally be prosecuted ("Oh yes it would" ... "Oh no it wouldn't" ... yadda, yadda, yadda), and so Clinton's one legally indefensible act was lying to Starr's grand jury. After four years of investigation, in other words, Starr's only good card is a crime he carefully arranged for Clinton to commit just three months ago. And you don't crucify a guy for that. Or that's the argument. Good enough? Maybe not. Clinton still lied under oath to a grand jury. Perjury is a serious offense. Those who make and enforce the law have a special obligation not to flout it. It's not about sex, it's about ... you know. So where does that leave Kenneth Starr? --Michael Kinsley Barnes Volunteers as Lawyer to Poor Wednesday, December 18, 2002 Defeated last month for re-election, Gov. Roy Barnes announced Tuesday that he will spend his first six months out of office as an unpaid attorney for the Atlanta Legal Aid Society, where he will represent poor people. "One day I'll probably do some legal work that I will charge a handsome fee for - at least I hope there are those that are still willing to pay," he told reporters. "But for now, I think it is important to fulfill my duty as a lawyer to help those who need it the most, to speak for those who cannot speak for themselves and to defend those whose life and livelihoods depend on it," he said. Previous governors have gone to prestigious law firms, joined corporate boards or returned to thriving businesses. "I don't think I've ever heard of anybody doing this before," Emory University political science professor Merle Black said. "If he's actually going to represent individuals for that organization, they're going to get great representation. You're going to get some powerful legal muscle there," Mr. Black said. Mr. Barnes said he already has his first case, but he wouldn't say what it is. Atlanta Legal Aid provides civil services to poor people in five metro Atlanta counties. Mr. Barnes said he was hoping to send a message to other lawyers. "This privilege to practice law is just that - it's a privilege. And it comes with a cost and it comes with a bill . . . We as lawyers have a responsibility to make sure that everyone, regardless of whether they can afford it or not, has quality representation. And if we don't do that, then we're not much of a profession," he said. Steven Gottlieb, the society's executive director, said, "I can't imagine anything that could be better than to have the governor of the state, in his first act as a private citizen, donate six months of his time to represent poor people . . . That's just astounding to me." Mr. Barnes did not necessarily need to seek a top-salaried job after leaving office. Financial disclosure reports and tax returns he released in June showed Mr. Barnes had a net worth of $12.3 million. WhERE TO GO T he grey-green Danube cuts straight through the heart of the cityneatly separating the ancient cobblestone streets of Buda from the late-19th-century boulevards of Pest. If you love history youll probably head for the Buda side of the river, but if youre a keen shopper and enjoy lively nightlife, then Pest will certainly oblige. Orientation is rarely a problem, as the majority of sights are crammed into the central areas and getting around the city is very easy. Castle Hill is made for walking, and the rest of town is efciently served by buses, trams, trolleybuses, and underground trains. This section follows the natural layout of the city, starting on the western bank with Buda, Obuda, and the hills, and then moves across the Danube, stopping at Margaret Island, and over to Pest on the opposite side of the river. It is perhaps best to sample Budapest piecemeal: taking a little from one side, then crossing over the river to the other, and heading back again. However, most would agree that the best place to start is the Castle Hill. Castle Hill (Varhegy) This fascinating area is the most picturesque and peaceful spot in Budapest, giving the only clue as to how the medieval city once looked. Entire streets of beautiful old buildings are concentrated here, and almost every other house bears a muemlk (monument) plaque which tells of its history. As serene as it seems today, however, the district has suffered destruction upon destruction in the past, and many places have been rebuilt at least once. The area overlooks the city from a long, narrow plateau, divided into two: the southern part, occupied by the enormous Royal Palace where the original castle once stood, and the northern district of historic streets, where 14th- and 15th-century aristocrats and artisans once rubbed shoulders. From Pest there are various ways of getting up to Castle Hill. The most popular method of ascent is aboard the 19th-century sikl (funicular) which starts by the end of the Chain Bridge and rises to the Royal Palace. Alternatively take the metro to Moszkva tr, climb up the steps to the road, and catch the mini Vrbusz service which shuttles to and from Dsz tr, stopping at numerous points en route. You could simply walk up the hill using any one of several streets and staircases, but one method you cannot use is your own transport; cars are forbidden on the hill (unless you are a resident or a guest at the Hilton Hotel), thus preserving the areas historic ambience. Historic Streets Turning right at the funicular terminus, a short walk brings you to Dsz tr (Parade Square) which marks the start of the northern district. The Mtys templom (Matthias Church) spire, towering gracefully over this historic area, is the best reference point for our tour. The church takes its name from Hungarys favourite medieval king, who married here twice in the 15th century. The Emperor Franz Joseph I was crowned king of Hungary here in 1867, to the tune of the Coronation Mass, composed by Liszt for the occasion. The original church was built in the mid-13th century, converted into a mosque during the Turkish occupation, and seriously damaged during Budas recapture in 1686. It was rebuilt in Baroque style after the return of the Christian forces, and between 1873 and 1896 it was completely reconstructed along its present Neo-Gothic lines. The unusual multi-coloured diamond-pattern roof and geometric designs covering the inside walls date back to the 19th-century refurbishing; the motifs are therefore Hungarian and not Turkish. Tour guides are quick to point out the Loreto Chapel (immediately to the left of the entrance), where a red marble statue of the Virgin takes pride of place. At the east end of the church is the entrance to the crypt and the museum, which holds a ne collection of medieval stone carvings, sacred relics, historic vestments, and religious paintings. The museum rambles up and down old staircases around the church, offering at one spot an excellent view down onto the nave. Outside the front of the church in the centre of Szent-hromsg tr (Trinity Square) is a votive column, crowded with statues of saints and angels, which recalls a bubonic plague epidemic of the early 18th century. The survivors built the monument in gratitude for being spared. Behind the column there is a ne Neo-Gothic building that puts on temporary exhibitions and also offers accommodation. Looking across the square, towards Dsz tr, the Baroque two-storey white building with a jutting corner balcony served as the former Buda town hall from 1710 to 1873. Behind the church is the most photographed monument in Budapest, the intriguingly-named Halszbstya (Fishermens Bastion). Built onto the castle walls, at rst glance this picture-book array of turrets, terraces, and arches could easily pass for authentic medieval fortications, but they are in fact too good to be true, constructed around the turn of this century as pure ornamentation. The name refers to the shermen who defended the ramparts here in the 18th century. Today it is a busy place, with coachloads of tourists peering through the arches for one of the citys finest viewsacross the Danube and over to the Houses of Parliament. At the handsome equestrian statue of the canonized King Istvnn, old ladies trade Transylvanian tablecloths, zithers sing sweetly, and barrel-organs grind while classical buskers ll the air with Bartk and Liszt. The view west from Fishermens Bastion focuses on the startling, six-storey reective faade of the Budapest Hilton Hotel. The bold approach of shamelessly merging ancient and modern has integrated the 1977 Hilton Hotel with the remains of a 17th-century Jesuit college and the tower of the districts oldest church, dating from the 13th century. Across on Hess Andrs tr, the bas-relief of a red hedgehog at number 3 recalls the 18th century, when the building was an inn of that name. Today on the hill theres no better place for light refreshment than Ruszwurms, a mere scones throw away at 7 Szenthromsg utca. This cosy patisserie has been resident here since 1827; its cakes compete favourably with the best the city has to offer. Start your tour of the old streets along Tncsics Mihly utca. House number 7, where Beethoven stayed in 1800, is now the charming Museum of the History of Music. Here youll learn to tell your clavichord from your hurdy-gurdy and that bagpipes are also an Hungarian instrument. Next door at number 9 are plaques to political heroes Mihly Tncsics and Lajos Kossuth, both imprisoned here in the 1830s and 1840s for their nationalist beliefs. Number 26 served as a synagogue from the end of the 14th century; a small museum relates to this period. The street ends at the Bcsi kapu (Vienna Gate), a reminder that the district was once fully enclosed. The grand building next to the gate with the diamond-patterned roofechoing that of St. Mtysis the National Archive (open to the public). Fortuna utca is a charming, much-photographed street full of pastel-painted houses and takes its name from a tavern which stood at number 4 from 1785 to 1868. Today this houses the Museum of Commerce and Catering (Kereskedelmi s Vendgltipari Mzeum)nowhere near as grand (nor as boring) as its name suggestsdealing with confectionery in one section and Hungarian trade in the late 19th and early 20th century in another. The museum curators take a genuine delight in demonstrating various exhibits: its well worth a visit. At Szenthromsg tr turn back into Orszghz utca. Orszghz, which means Houses of Parliament, takes its name from the parliamentary sessions which took place in the building at number 28 between 1790 and 1807. The architectural highlights of this street, however, are the grand 15th-century mansion, now used by the Alabrdos (halbardier) restaurant, as well as numbers 1822, which are considered three of the nest examples of 14th- and 15th-century domestic architecture on the hill. Several other buildings on this street incorporate picturesque medieval features, at times hidden just inside the archway. Here youll see both ancient stone sedilia (built-in seats for three people) and vignettes of contemporary life with an equally timeless quality, such as necklaces of paprika strung across windows and balconies to dry; people do still live here. At the end of this street rises a large, glassless church window. It belongs to the Church of Mary Magdalene, reduced to knee-high remains (by the Allies) in the last days of World War II. Amazingly, its huge, rocket-like 15th-century tower survived and now houses a private art gallery. The stone window was rebuilt, but the remainder of the church was left levelled as a poignant reminder of events. An altogether more light-hearted curiosity can be seen on the corner of Orszghz utca and Petermann br utca. A ying nun in stone (a reference to a convent that occupied number 28 before Parliament) has apparently passed straight through the corner of the building. Mikls Melocco executed this amusing sculpture in 1977. Uri utca, meaning gentlemens street, is even older than Orszghz utca, and the details on many of its houses are equally fascinating. Yet another specialist museum crops up at number 49; the Telephone Museum features 110 years of telephone exchanges and technology. Budapest had the first telephone exchange. At number 9 you can descend deep into the hill via a series of tunnels that were dug in medieval times as an escape route in times of siege. They were used again as air-raid shelters and an emergency hospital in 19441945. Here visitors can join a guided tour of the caves and tunnels, which also contain a waxwork exhibition depicting episodes of Hungarian history. Uri utca terminates at Dsz tr, where its best to turn and walk back along Trnok utca. Among the shops and restaurants here are a number of ne buildings. The orange-and-red geometric frescoes painted on the overhanging rst oor of the Aranyhord (Golden Barrel) restaurant are the most noteworthy. Next door, number 18 was built as a merchants house in the rst half of the 15th century. Used as the Arany Sas (Golden Eagle) pharmacy from 1750 until 1913, it is now the most attractive of this areas small museums. Beautiful old majolica vessels are the stars of an atmospheric re-creation of the pharmacy, and there are also informative displays on potions, practices, and alchemy in the Budapest of this era. The nal street of this district to be explored is the leafy Tth Arpd stny. This promenade, situated along the western ramparts, offers views of the Buda Hills and the huge Southern Railway Station (Dli plyaudavar) rather than a glorious Danube panorama. Nonetheless, this is a delightful stroll, particularly in early evening, when the locals come out to enjoy the fresh air. At the northern end, various cannon signal the entrance to the Museum of Military History (Hadtrtneti Mzeum). Its an extensive exhibition and popular with school-children, but the section dedicated to the 1956 uprising is the most memorable for older visitors. The Royal Palace Now returned to its former outward splendour, the Royal Palace dominates Castle Hills southern skyline. Construction began in the 13th century and reached its zenith in the 15th century under King Mtys, when the palace was said to be equal in grandeur to that of any in Europe. Under the Ottoman empire, however, it was neglected, and during the siege of 1686 was destroyed. In the following two centuries the palace was rebuilt in the Neo-Baroque style. Nemesis was on hand again when the German occupation forces made this their headquarters during a nal stand in 1945. Since then, the palace has been rebuilt purely to house three museums and a library. Its a huge place and cant be covered in one day. Break up your time here with sightseeing on the northern part of the hill. If you are not already on Castle Hill, then the best approach to the Royal Palace is from the steps at the southern tip of the hill by the Semmelweis Medical Museum. The path winds up through lovely gardens to the rear entrance of the castle and the only surviving turreted tower, the Buzogny (mace) Tower. Steps lead up through tiny castle gardens to the entrance of the Museum of Budapest History (Budapesti Trtneti Mzeum) in wing E of the Royal Palace. More than 40 years of excavations at the palace site have produced a picture of the medieval Royal Palace of King Mtys; it is possible to visit the ten or so rooms that have survived from the original, now reconstructed in their former state. Make sure you see the exhibition of Gothic statues from the Royal Palace. During construction work at the start of the 15th century, the statues were thrown out in the yard, which was later filled in, and they remained there until excavated in 1974. The southern palace courtyard includes wing F, which houses the National Library and its two million books. The library is open to the public and temporary exhibitions are held in the building. Through the courtyard arch is the main Palace area. The Museum of Recent History in Wing A stages some interesting everyday life exhibitions; visitors can also enjoy views of Buda and Pest. Wings B, C, and D house the Hungarian National Gallery (Magyar Nemzeti Galria)a huge undertaking spanning seven centuries of Hungarian art. Dont try to see it all in one visitthere are some ne works here, but it is too much for one day. The gallerys most popular sections are Hungarian Impressionism and 20th century works (in Wings C and D). Contemporary art lovers are advised to head straight for the Ludwig Collection in wing A, which includes important figures in the contemporary art world, featuring several controversial works. Obuda Historically, Obuda is the oldest quarter of Buda, centred on the site of Aquincum, the capital of the Roman province of Lower Pannonia. Nowadays its a nightmare of Soviet town-planning, with heavy trafc constantly rumbling past on the main northern highway out of Budapest. Amid this unlikely setting, however, there are some major Roman remains to be discovered. To begin the Roman route, take any number of city buses north to the so-called Military Amphitheatre (Katonai Amtetrum), thus distinguishing it from a smaller one a short distance farther north. Gladiators performed here in the second century to amuse legionnaires. Completely forgotten for centuries, the ruins were only partially restored in the 1930s. Now its effectively a grassy piece of parkland where locals play and walk their dogs, but enough remains of the amphitheatre walls and outline to give a good idea of what it was once like. Farther north, beneath the Flrin tr yover on the Buda side of the Arpd Bridge, stand the ruins of baths built for the Roman legions. Take the walkway on the opposite side of the yover from the baths and you will catch the incongruous sight of a dozen isolated Corinthian columns with a 1960s housing estate backdrop. The third and most important site is that of Aquincum, a civil town for the artisans, merchants, priests, and other non-military staff attached to the legion. You can get here by bus, tram, or HEV train. Keep your eyes on the highway central reservation shortly before the Aquincum stop, and you will see the remains of a Roman aqueduct. The site proper, which covers several acres, comprises the foundations of villas (including some oor mosaics), workshops, and public areas, and there is another amphitheatre ruin on the other side of the road. You will need more than a little imagination to re-enact the scene of 1,6001,700 years ago from the knee-high rubble, but you will nd help in the small museum attached to the site. Here the best of the nds are displayed here, and, at the entrance kiosk, there are guide-books in various languages. If you want to explore the Roman connection farther, enquire at Aquincum about access to the Hercules Villa museum at Meggyfa utca 21. But there is more to Obuda than its Roman heritage. Between Flrin tr and the river is Fotr, a small, picturesque cobbled square untouched by modern development. In this oasis you will nd a fine old theatre, several pleasant cafs, four rst-class restaurants, and, just off the square, two excellent small museum-galleries. Even before you reach the Imre Varga Museum (at Laktanya utca 7), youll half know what to expect because of the charming gures with umbrellas standing by the square. Varga is renowned as Hungarys greatest living sculptor; whether his materials and subject matter are conventional (as is the case with Umbrellas) or offbeat, as many of his works are, he manages to be accessible and very likeable. The Vasarely Museum on Szentllek tr features rst-class Op Art (a style that exploits optical effects, characterized by cubes and spheres in bright, eye-popping, checker-board colours) by artist Victor Vasarely, a pioneer of the movement. Buda Riverside and Hills The stretch of riverside which is of most interest to visitors runs north from Szabadsg hd (Liberty Bridge). While Castle Hill provides arguably the nest views over the Danube, there is another lookout point that also should not be missed. Gellrt-hegy (Gellrt Hill), which rises some 140 metres (430 feet) almost directly above the Danube on the Buda side, provides a marvellous panorama. Its not well served by public transport, so give your legs some exercise, starting from the southern approach by the Gellrt Hotel. Almost immediately to your right you will see an extraordinary monument in the hillside, a cave converted into a chapel. It belongs to the Order of St. Paul, the only monastic body of Hungarian origin. Continue up the slope through the pleasant landscaped gardens of the Jubileumi Park, turn right onto the main road, and you will soon reach the summit. The Citadel crowning the hill was built by the Habsburgs after the Revolution of 1848 as a lookout point from which to control neighbouring Castle Hill. It saw no action, however, until the end of World War II, when the German army held out here. Since then the Citadel has been renovated and now holds a restaurant, caf, and budget hotel. A Liberation Monument (Szabadsag szobor), visible from all parts of the city, stands below the citadel. It was erected by the Russians in honour of their troops who fell while liberating Budapest from the Germans. The monument is loathed by most locals as a symbol of Soviet domination, but it has become too much of a city landmark to remove. Down at the base of the hill, the Gellrt Hotel is the perfect place to recover from your walk. Behind this classic 1918 white Art Nouveau structure is a swimming pool complex and the nest thermal bath in Buda. While the older family members may wish to enjoy the restorative thermal waters and float at leisure in the beautiful indoor pool, youngsters will most likely delight in the equally splendid landscaped outdoor pool. There are some more baths (frdo) with a wonderful atmosphere in which to relax just along the Buda embankment (rakpart) by the entrance to the Erzsbet hd (Elizabeth Bridge). The thermal pools are restricted to men, only. The entrance to the Rudas frdo is rather shabby, and a knowledge of the language is denitely an advantage here, but after 400 years of serving the locals, change comes slowly. The building has been much altered over the centuries but the atmosphere in the steamy main pool, where a stone Turkish dome rises over an octagonal pool and sunbeams stream in through the star-shaped glass openings in the cupola, is magically ancient. The medicinal theme continues a little farther north at the Semmelweis Museum of the History of Medicine (Semmelweis Orvostrtneti Mzeum). Professor Semmelweis, who was born here in 1815, discovered the cause of puerperal fever and thus became known as the Saviour of Mothers. The museum is a lively, sometimes gruesome, trawl through old instruments and techniques, some of which appear far worse than the condition they were intended to relieve. There is also a beautifully preserved old pharmacy shop dating back to 1813. North of the museum the embankment is relieved by arcades, terraces, Neo-Classical statues, ceremonial staircases, and gateways (not open to the public) which lead up to the Royal Palace. At this point its best to catch a bus or tram along the main road, Fo utca, which becomes a canyon of trafc noise, pollution, and exhaust fumes. Get off at the stop before Batthyny tr to admire the colourful exterior of the 1896 Neo-Gothic Calvinist Church which features in so many panoramas of the city. Batthyny tr is a major square where metro, bus, tram, and suburban railway all meet. It is a bright, lively area, and offers a wonderful view of the Houses of Parliament directly across the river. The similarity to Londons own Parliament (Big Ben aside) is quite striking, with the Danube simply substituted for the Thames. The Vienna stagecoach terminal used to be just around the corner, and the once famous White Cross Inn, on the opposite side of the square to the river, was the fashionable venue for balls and festivities. Its still a grand old building even if its role has now diminished to that of a nightclub, renamed Casanova after the famous rake who reputedly stayed here. On the south side of the square is Szent Anna templom (St. Annes Church), a ne mid-18th-century structure with Italianate inuences. Farther north along Fo utca is another excellent example of a Turkish bath. The Kirly frdo (Kirly Baths) were established in the 16th century, and the authentic Turkish section has survived, complete with an octagonal pool under the largest dome. Apart from the steam bath, visitors can use the bath tubs, sauna, and several other facilities. Turn left off Frakel Le t (the continuation of Fo utca) at Margit hd (Margaret Bridge) and follow the signpost up the steps to another Turkish memento, the Gl Baba trbje (the tomb of Gl Baba). This meticulously preserved mausoleum was built in the mid-16th century for Gl Baba, a famous dervish killed during the siege of Buda in 1541 whose funeral was attended by the Sultan. The interior, in keeping with the Muslim tradition, is quite simple, with the tomb surrounded by carpets and a few artworks from the Turkish government. The hill on which the tomb stands, called the Rzsadomb (Hill of the Roses), is one of the most exclusive addresses in Budapest. Buda Hills The Buda Hills area is a greenbelt that lies due west of Rzsadomb, though it stretches as far north as Obuda and as far south as the start of the M7 highway. Choose a clear day, then catch any one of several trams or buses which go past the cog-railway terminus (just west of Moszkva tr, opposite the Hotel Budapest). There is room on the train for mountain bikes if you are feeling particularly active. The train passes smart residential houses on its way to the terminus and park of Svb-hegy. A short walk across the park (just follow the crowds) is the stop for the Childrens Railway (Szchenyi-hegyi Gyermekvast), thus named because it is operated almost entirely by school-children; only the engine drivers are adults. This is an old narrow-gauge line which traverses seemingly unspoiled forestsbut for the numerous walking trailsand climbs, slowly, ever-upwards. At the rst stop, Normafa, youll find a ski-run, but unless its snowing stay on the train until Jnos-hegy. It is a 1015 minute walk from here to the Jnos-hegy lookout tower, at 529 metres (1,735 feet) the highest point in the city. If the horizon is not blurred by mist, theres a splendid 360-degree view for mile upon mile; you can also eat here. On the way to the lookout tower you will have passed a chair-lift that goes down to a camping site. The views from the chair-lift are also spectacular, and the peace and quiet as you soar up and down the mountainside is quite extraordinary. Remember to note that the chairlift is closed on some Mondayscheck with Tourinform, or go on another day. If you would prefer a speedy return to town, catch the 158 bus (to Moszkva tr) from near the bottom of the chair-lift. Between the Banks Just as Tower Bridge is the toast of London, the Golden Gate is the pride of San Francisco, and the Brooklyn Bridge is a symbol of New York, Budapest too has its landmark river crossings. The most venerable of these is the Szchenyi Lnchd, or Chain Bridge, opened in 1849, the rst span to unite Buda and Pest. Count Istvn Szchenyi, a great innovator of his age, imported the technology and expertise of the British Industrial Revolution to help Hungarys own reform programme. The bridge was designed by an English engineer, William Tierney Clark, and its construction was supervised by a Scotsman, Adam Clark (no relation), who has a square named after him at the Buda end of the bridge. Dont miss the oodlit view of the bridgeits one of the citys nest sights. South of the Chain Bridge is the rather more functional-looking Erzsbet hd (Elizabeth Bridge), named after the consort of Franz Joseph, tragically assassinated in 1898. The bridge, opened in 1964, is of modern design and works on the suspension principle. Southwards from Elizabeth Bridge is the Szabadsg hd (Liberty Bridge) opened in 1896 and originally called the Franz Joseph Bridge. Its a handsome green iron structure with turul birds (see page 17) perched on a golden ball balancing on each pillar. To the north of the Chain Bridge is Margit hd (Margaret Bridge), a modern replacement of the 19th-century version destroyed in World War II. Note the fine stone carvings of nymphs, resembling ships gureheads, on the bridge piers. Margaret Island (Margit-sziget) The elite of the Roman empire escaped everyday cares on this leafy oasis between the two banks, and in later eras princes and plutocrats did likewise. Today wealthy tourists enjoy the thermal facilities and treatments offered at the two international-class hotels on the island. The leisure establishment of most interest to visitors is the huge outdoor Palatinus Baths (Palatinus strand) which includes thermal pools and boasts a capacity of 20,000 swimmers and sunbathers. The island is not just for tourists, however: Budapestis of all ages come here to walk, run, swim, play tennis or team games, or simply sunbathe. Its also a famous spot for courting couples. The island is 2 km (112 miles) long and only a few hundred yards at the widest part. Many of its estimated population of 10,000 trees are now more than a century old, and large areas of the island are lawned and landscaped. Best of all, cars (with a few exceptions) are prohibited, thus preserving the islands peace and quiet. Alongside a landmark water tower is a good open-air theatre which presents concerts, opera, and ballet performances in the summer. Nearby are the ruins of a 13th-century Dominican Convent that was founded by King Bla IV. Here he enrolled his 11-year-old daughter, Margit, in fullment of a vow he had made should he live to survive the Mongol invasion. Princess (and later saint) Margit stayed on the island for the rest of her life; it was subsequently named after her. Her burial place is marked by a marble plaque. The other ruins close by include a Franciscan Church and monastery built in the 13th century. The charming little Premonstratensian Chapela 20th-century reconstruction of the original 12th-century churchis still in use today. It houses a 15th-century bell, the oldest in Hungary. Pest The bulk of modern Budapest lies to the east of the Danube in what was, until 1873, the autonomous city of Pest. Here is the true pulse of Budapest: large hotels, museums, government buildings, shopping streets, nightlife, and thunderously busy boulevards. From the Romans point of view, defending Buda (and therefore western civilization) was a real headache. All they could do was stare across the great expanse of at badlands to the east of the river and wait for the barbarians to arrive. So in a.d. 294, they decided to build a defence on the east side to make it harder for any invaders to establish a foothold here. They called the place Contra-Aquincum; it is still at the core of the inner city of Pest. The Inner City (Belvros) A medieval town grew around the Roman defence-post, evolving into a long, narrow strip with the Danube to the west and defensive walls on the other sides. The so-called Kis-krt (Little Boulevard) follows the line of the old walls and encloses the district of Belvros. (Note that you wont nd Kis-krt on any mapits the aggregate of Vmhz krt, Mzeum krt, Kroly krt, the southern end of Baj-csy-Zsilinszky t, and Jzsef Attila utca.) The oldest building in Pest is the Belvrosi templom (Inner City Parish Church). The exterior is rather unprepossessinga sooty Baroque church, hemmed into an undignied position by the Elizabeth Bridgebut look inside and you can discern much earlier elements in the handsome interior. It was founded in the 12th century, and some Romanesque construction is still visible. So, too, is the influence of the Turks, who turned the church into a mosque and carved a mihrab (prayer niche) on the Mecca side of the chancel wall. Next to the church is all that remains of Contra-Aquincuman excavated square with benches and a small display of tablets and reliefs found on the site. The centrepiece of Pests pedestrian zone is Vci utca (pronounced Vah-tsee utsa), the first place to visit for shopping in the city. Here you will nd the best fashion, art, cosmetics, books, and jewellery; the biggest and the best branch of Folkart (see page 78); the Pest Sznhz (theatre) where Franz Liszt made his city debut as a 12-year-old pianist; various airline offices, and several international organizations. Vci utca runs into the ever-busy, yet somehow relaxed, Vrsmarty tr. This is one of Pests favourite gathering places, often lined with craft stalls and resounding to a brass band. After a browse through Luxus department store, its probably time for coffee and cakes at Gerbeaud, doyen of Budapests coffee-house scene since 1884. If the sumptuous high-ceilinged interior is a little too formal for your liking, then take a terrace seat and watch the world go by. Stroll a few yards towards the river and you will come to yet another pleasant and lively square, Vigad tr, which has the advantage of a riverside location with Castle Hill views. Here, too, you will find craft stalls and any number of buskers. A vibrant caf-restaurant comprises one side of the square, but the dominant building is the splendid Vigad theatre. The interior hall is an acoustically perfect auditorium renovated in 1980 (its predecessors having twice perished in war and revolution), but the faade has been gloriously restored in mid-19th-century Hungarian-Eastern style. The list of performers and conductors who have graced the Vigad theatre is an impressive Whos Who of the past 150 years of European classical music: Liszt, Brahms, Wagner, Mahler, Bartk, Prokoev, Casals, Bjrling, and von Karajan. This is also the centre of what may be called the Hotel Zone, with four luxury hotels within a very short distance of each other. Their architecture has done nothing for the aesthetics of the embankment viewed from the Buda side of the river, but, ironically, looking in the opposite direction, they provide some of the nest views of the city. From Vrsmarty tr take Dek Ferenc utca into busy Dek tr. Just to the east of the pedestrianized zone (across Peto Sndor utca) are a number of intriguing buildings and two small museums. Next to the ordinary Lutheran Church is the National Lutheran Museum, which houses a valuable collection including documents, bibles, and chalices. It chronicles the story of some of the distinguished Protestants influential in the history of this predominantly Catholic country. As Dek tr is the only meeting point for all three metro lines, its an apt place for the tiny Metro Museum (FAV Mzeum), located down in the pedestrian subway. Here you can see the original train that travelled on Europes first continental underground railway in 1896its hardly different to those on the current Millennium line. Almost opposite the Lutheran Museum, next to MacDonalds, is the helpful Tourinform tourist information ofce. The mustard building dominating the far side of the square is the Anker Palace, formerly an insurance company headquarters, and one of the very few structures to escape World War II unscathed. Walk down Barczy utca, which runs along the back of the Lutheran Church, and, on your right, the Budapest City Hall lls an entire street. It was built in 1711 as a home for disabled soldiers, served for a time as an army barracks, and became the town hall in 1894. The 19th-century Neo-Classical Pest County Hall lies a little farther beyond the bend in the same street. Just off here is Szervita tr, notable for a splendid patriotic-religious Art Nouveau mosaic fantasy. It occupies the very top of the old Turkish Banking House. Head south along Peto Sndor utca; on your right is the Prisi Udvar (Paris Arcade), built in 1909. Inside, look up to enjoy the exotic Art Nouveau styling and glasswork; then walk round to see the stylish front of the building, where there is an IBUSZ tourist information ofce. Directly across the busy road (its best to use the underpass) are three ne churches and part of the university complex. On the corner of Ferenciek tere stands the Franciscan Church, constructed around 1758. Look at the relief on the side wall, depicting the ood of 1838 that caused massive destruction in the entire inner city. Then continue along Krolyi Mihly utca, past the yellow University Library building on your left. On the opposite corner is the University Church (Egyetemi templom). Built between 1725 and 1742 by the monks of the Order of St. Paul, it features splendidly rich Baroque carving. Turn into Szerb utca, where there are more university buildings. The Serbian Church on this quiet street dates from 1688 and has a beautiful interior. The Little Boulevard Despite its diminutive name, the Little Boulevard is very big on trafc; it is definitely not the place for a leisurely stroll. There are, however, three major points of interest that fall just outside the inner city side of this notional dividing line. The most popular of these among locals is the Budapest Market Halls (Vsrcsarnok) at the beginning of Vmhz krt by the Szabadsg hd (Liberty Bridge). This vast, old-fashioned covered market is brimming with local colour and exotic smells. There is also a lively daily market at Lehel tr, north of the inner city in the Liptvros district (take metro line 3 to the station at Lehel tr). For visitors, the most popular Little Boulevard attraction is the Hungarian National Museum (Magyar Nemzeti Mzeum). This impressive structure, built in Neo-Classical style with Corinthian columns and a sculptured tympanum, stands back off the road in its own big garden. Inside, amid monumental architectural and ornamental details, the whole story of Hungary unfolds. On display are prehistoric remains and ancient jewels and tools, but theres no doubt as to which is the main point of interest: just follow the crowd to the hushed room where the royal regalia resides. The crown is romantically associated with St. Stephen, the great 11th-century king, but is actually of a slightly later date (the lower half is 11th century; the upper, 12th century). The beautiful gold-threaded mantle, made in 1031, is said to belong to St. Stephen. The sceptre also dates from around the 12th century. Its believed that both the 14th-century gilded orb and the 16th-century sword are replacements of the original regalia that was lost. The exhibition downstairs, which deals with the history of the Carpathian Basin from prehistoric times right up to the Conquest of 896, has some good moments, particularly when covering the Roman period (its worthwhile buying a copy of the English/German guide book, which costs only a few forints). The exhibit upstairs, covering the period from 896 to 1849, is of more general interest than the previous millennium. A 17th-century Turkish tent decked out with carpets is one highlight, while other exhibits run the gamut of war and peace from suits of armour to room reconstructions. The museum also boasts a natural history section, but, compared to the riches of the rest of the collection, this is entirely optional viewing. Back on the Little Boulevard, at the start of Dohny utca, is a striking synagogue of enormous proportions, built in a amboyant Byzantine-Moorish style. This is the Central or Great Synagogue, dating from the mid-19th century, which is claimed by some sources to be the biggest in Europe, capable of holding up to 3,000 people. Visitors are allowed in (except during services) between 10:00 a.m. and 6:00 p.m. to appreciate its quiet grandeur. An interesting and informative Jewish Museum within the complex includes a moving exhibition about the Hungarian Holocaust. Next door to the museum, in a courtyard of the synagogue, is a metal weeping-willow, fashioned by the artist Imre Varga (see page 36). Each leaf bears the name of a Budapest family that perished in the Holocaust. The site is deliberately chosen, being above the mass graves of Jews executed by the fascist Arrow Cross government installed by the Nazis between 1944 and 1945. Liptvros Bounded by Jozsf Attila utca to the south and by Bajcsy-Zsilinszky t to the east, Liptvros (Leopold Town) lies directly north of the inner city. Directions to find the Basilica of St. Stephen (Szent Istvn Bazilika) arent needed, as its 96-metre (315-foot) dome dominates the skyline. The biggest church in Budapest, built between 1851 and 1905, it is frequently full to its capacity of 8,500 people. Its exterior is in a poor state, though slowly being restored. Before seeing the interior, ascend the tower. Its a long walk to the top, but you are rewarded with Pests highest viewpoint. The interior of the basilica is dimly lit. There is an interesting main attraction in a reliquary in a rear chapel: the Szent Jobb (Holy Right) is the much revered holy relic of the right hand of St. Stephen; youll need a 20-forint piece to illuminate it. Szabadsg tr (Freedom Square), a short walk to the north, is probably Pests nest architectural ensemble. At its centre is an obelisk dedicated to the Soviet troops who fell in the city, but the enormous, ostentatious buildings surrounding the square are what really steal the show. The superb lemon-coloured Art Nouveau building close to the obelisk is home to the American Embassy. Next door is the former Stock Exchange (now the countrys TV headquarters), a showy, eclectic building with some good reliefs. The Hungarian National Bank on the opposite side of the square is the work of the same architect. The great dome of Parliament, equal in height to that of the basilica, is clearly visible from the square. The Houses of Parliament (Orszghz) were built between 1885 and 1902 as a symbol of the grandeur of the Austro-Hungarian empire. Its vital statistics are impressive: 268 metres (879 feet) long, 691 rooms, and an estimated 20 km (12 miles) of staircase inside. The architect may not have had Londons Houses of Parliament in mind, but whatever his intentions, the Neo-Gothic arches and turrets rarely escape comparison with those of Westminster. Tourists are only admitted on group excursions, and only to certain parts of the building, when parliament is not in session; the visiting arrangements do vary from year to year (check with Tourinform as to the current situation). If you are admitted on a guided tour, you will probably be taken up the grandiose central stairway to a splendid 16-sided domed hall, then into the lobby, and nally into the principal debating chamber of the House. (Look out for the brass rack where deputies leave their cigars before they enter the chamber.) Across from parliament is the mighty Ethnographic Museum (Nprajzi Mzeum), built in the same era, occupying the former location of the Supreme Court of Justice. It is worth a visit for the palatial interiors alone, but the exhibits here are also some of the most fascinating in the city. Permanent displays show the fast-disappearing world of Hungarian rural life and folklore; these are underpinned by trenchant temporary exhibitions dealing with current issues, such as the lives of Budapests gypsies. Andrssy t The most attractive avenue in the city, modelled after the Champs-Elyses in Paris, was a bold stroke of the 1870s. Travelling straight as an arrow almost 2.4 km (112 miles) from the inner city to the City Park, it is the site of some of the nest architecture in Budapest. The buildings that line it blend well, yet almost every one has a unique featurea fountain, a statue, a mosaic or a frieze, columns or arches. Theres a roomy, patrician feeling here, which belies the avenues past namesfrom the unpronounceable Npkztrsasg tja (Peoples Republic Avenue) to the prosaic Sugr t (Radial Road), to the hated Stalin t. You can visit one of the typically large n-de-sicle aristocratic homes right at the start of the avenue, at number 3, now home to the Postal Museum. There are some colourful and interesting exhibits here (particularly the correspondence between Thomas Edison and the Hungarian telecommunications pioneer Tivadar Pusks), but the real attraction is the building itself, particularly the stairway and balcony decorated with outstanding frescoes by Kroly Lotz. The State Opera House (Andrssy t 22), completed in 1884 by Mikls Ybl, is the most admired building on the avenue. Its Italianate style and restrained proportions t in exquisitely with its surroundings. The splendidly opulent interior may be visited by guided tours, which are conducted daily at 3:00 and 4:00 p.m., subject to performances. The architecture, atmosphere, and acoustics of the State Opera House rank it among the very best in Europe. If you prefer entertainment of a slightly less highbrow nature, then continue north for a block to the area known as Budapests Broadway, where you will nd several theatres and nightspots. The cultural theme continues on the pedestrianized area of Liszt Ferenc tr, where there is an excellent modern statue of Liszt conducting in caricature with ailing hands and windswept hair. At the end of this street is the Academy of Music, completed in 1907. This is an Art Nouveau gem, from the faadewhere the statue and name of Liszt dominatethrough to the lobby and interior. It is quite easy to get a look inside when there is no one playing. Cross the busy intersection of Oktogon, and three streets north at Vrsmarty utca 35 is the Ferenc Liszt Memorial Museum. This is a delightful small collection of a few pianos, memorabilia, and period furnishings, set in an apartment where the composer once lived (closed Sunday and the first three weeks of August). As Andrssy t heads farther away from town, the villas get noticeably grander and mansions in garden settings become predominant. Kodly krnd (Kodly crescent, named after another Hungarian composer) is a splendid ensemble, its curving faades decorated with Classical gures and inlaid motifs. At number 103 is another charming small collection in the Museum of East Asian Art (Hopp Ferenc Kelet-zsiai Mzeum), which rotates pieces from Ferenc Hopps collection comprising 20,000 exotic items. A related Museum of Chinese Art (Kna Mzeum), also known as the Gyrgy Rth Mzeum, lies to the south of here, occupying a handsome Art Nouveau villa at Vrosligeti fasor 12. Andrssy t ends in an outburst of pomp at Heroes Square (Hosk tere), a huge open space housing the Millenary Monument, built on the thousandth anniversary of the Magyar conquest. Surmounting all is a 36-metre (118-foot) column supporting the gure of the Archangel Gabriel, who, according to legend, appeared in a dream of St. Stephens and offered him Hungarys first crown. Around the pedestal, on horseback, sit Prince Arpd and the Magyar tribal chiefs, while anking the column is a semi-circular colonnade with statues of historical gures, starting with King Stephen. In front of the statuary is the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier. Facing each other across Heroes Square are two large Neo-Classical structures that are almost mirror imagesnot surprising, as they share the same architect. Undergoing long-term renovation, the building on the left is the Museum of Fine Arts (Szpmuvszeti Mzeum), holding the citys most highly regarded collection, which ranges from Egyptian mummies and Greek and Roman relics (the latter collection is undergoing long-term restoration), through Renaissance works, to a collection of about 2,500 Old Masters, of which some 800 are on show at any one time. Italian, Dutch, German, and Spanish schools are all superbly represented. The latter is particularly notable, with masterpieces by El Greco, Goya, and several other famous names. There are also English, French, and Flemish rooms. The favourite room for many, however, is the 19th-century collection, including a treasure trove of French Impressionist and Post-Impressionist artists such as Czanne, Pisarro, Monet, Gaugin, and Renoir, among others. The section on sculpture, and that on prints and drawings, features works by Leonardo da Vinci. The museum also has a coffee shop and a ne selection of art books and posters for sale. Free tours are given in English every weekday morning at 10:30 a.m. Opposite the Museum of Fine Arts is the Mucsarnok, or Palace of Art (a modern art gallery), which mounts high-quality temporary exhibitions of the work of contemporary Hungarian and foreign artists. Re-opened in 1995 after undergoing renovations, the gallery boasts the finest art bookstore in Budapest, not to mention a beautiful exterior, with a splendid pediment mosaic of St. Stephen in his role as patron saint of the arts. There is also a smaller sister branch in the City Park (directions are posted on the front of the Mucsarnok). City Park (Vrosliget) Beyond the pompous formality of Heroes Square and away from the noise and trafc of Andrssy t, the City Park is a lovely green space where Budapestis can relax, stroll, have a meal, hire a rowing boat, go to the zoo, or visit museums. The park, which covers some 101 hectares (250 acres), began to evolve in the early 19th century, though many of the present amenities were added during preparations for the Millennium festivities of 1896. Cross the bridge over the boating lake, which doubles as an ice-skating rink in winter. The Castle of Vajdahunyad, behind the lake, was built as a prop for the Millenary Exhibition but proved so popular that it was rebuilt in permanent form. It reproduces in convincing detail part of the exterior of the fairytale Hunyadi castle in Transylvania. Inside the castle is the Museum of Hungarian Agriculture, housing a comprehensive collection that illustrates the history of hunting, fishing, and farming. If you want to see the castle at its best, return by night, when it is beautifully illuminated. Within the grounds, theres a Catholic church with a splendid Romanesque portal (another reconstruction) and one of the citys favourite statues, which depicts the medieval chronicler who gave Hungary its rst written records. Unfortunately, he didnt leave us his name, so his face is hidden deep inside the cowl of his monks-style robe; he is referred to, simply, as Anonymous. There are two more museums in the park, both towards its top right-hand corner. The Museum of Aviation and Space Travel occupies part of the Peto Csarnok (Peto Hall), the city youth-centre where rock concerts often take place, while you will find the Transport Museum (Kzlekedsi Mzeum) on the perimeter path of the park. Both of these deal almost exclusively with Hungarian developments and are most likely to appeal to specialists or children. The jewel in the park is the Szchenyi Baths complex, to the left of the road that bisects the park. This is one of the largest medicinal bath complexes in Europe; it also provides year-round, open-air swimming, at a constant 27C (81F), in beautiful surroundings. The buildings, constructed between 1909 and 1913 in a Baroque Art Nouveau style, are topped by a series of huge green domes. Inside the pool area the walls are ivy-clad and there is some sumptuous statuary, but even more interesting than the architecture of the baths is the bizarre sight of groups of men playing chess while immersed in warm water (their boards are supported on small jetties protruding into the pool). Just behind the baths are the zoo and two amusement parks. The zoo welcomes visitors with an Art Nouveau entrance decorated with polar bears and elephants. It keeps a wide range of animals, including most childrens and adults favourite species. The animals are mostly held in traditional cages, though renovations on several pavilions are in progress. Grown-ups may like to note that next to the zoo is Gundels restaurant, a legend in Hungarian culinary circles. Vidm Park, next door, is an old-fashioned, funfair-style amusement park for the kids. You wont nd American-style thrill rides here, just carousels, dodgem cars, a ferris wheel, and a few other low-technology sources of fun. A mini-version of the park more suited for younger children adjoins it. Next door to the amusement parks, a circus makes regular appearances throughout the year. For dates consult Programme magazine (see page 118). If you want to return to downtown Pest, but feel you have walked enough for one day, take the Millenium line metro, which runs the whole length of Andrssy t (look for the antique yellow Fldalatti signs). The quaint old-fashioned trains are a tourist attraction in their own right. Note that the trains run in the same direction as trafc, and you must descend to the platform from the appropriate side of the road; it is not possible to cross the lines once you are underground. The Great Boulevard The Great Boulevard (Nagy-krt) forms a long, sweeping arc from the Margaret Bridge to the Peto Bridge. It has, over the centuries, changed in name from Ferenc to Jzsef, to Erzsbet, to Terz, and nally to Szent Istvn; yet its character remains consistentbig and bustling. City planners approved the project and pushed it through during the landmark year of 1896, when the volume of trafc was considerably less than it is today. The buildings that line the boulevard are routinely six or more storeys high, many with ornate architectural touches. The architectural pride of the Great Boulevard has to be the Museum of Applied Arts (Iparmuvszeti Mzeum), just off Ferenc krt at 33-37 lloi t. The exterior is a splendid example of Art Nouveau, incorporating Hungarian folk art styles and using Hungarian majolica tiles. Great green cupolas, small spiky towers, a majolica lantern, and a bright green and gold roof top the ensemble. The architect of the museum, dn Lechner, is regarded as the greatest exponent of this native form of Art Nouveau style. The interior is, if anything, even more remarkable. The style itself may best be described as fantasy Hungarian with strong Moorish inuences. Shimmering white Arabian Nights-type arches, balconies, and swirling staircases sweep up to a ne Art Nouveau skylight. The main hall is covered by a great expanse of glass supported by an iron frame, and ferns and potted plants around the hall create an exotic ambience. A fascinating permanent exhibition, showing the progress of native arts and crafts techniques from the 12th century onwards, is augmented by a variety of temporary exhibitions, which are usually of a very high quality, on more specialized subjects. A museum of an altogether more restrained nature lies just beyond Erzsbet krt, at Hrsfa utca 47. The Philatelic Museum (Blyeg Mzeum) contains every stamp issued by the country from 1871 onwards, and so provides its own miniature pictorial history of the country. Terz krt and Erzsbet krt have traditionally been centres of Budapests cultural, as well as its commercial, life. At the Great Boulevards intersection with Dohny utca is the New York Caf (formerly known as the Hungaria). The cafs Neo-Baroque Art Nouveau interior, shining with polished wood, brass, and cut glass, has been restored to its original gaudy gloryit looks the same as it did at the beginning of the 20th century. It is once again a meeting point for actors, writers, and journalists. Excursions The Danube Bend Only a few miles north of Budapest, the Danube dramatically alters its easterly course for a southern tack. The prosaic name of this beautiful region is Dunakanyar, meaning Danube Bend. Here the river is at its most alluring, the countryside is lush and mostly unspoiled, and there are three delightful historic towns to explore. Szentendre Just 20 km (12 miles) from central Budapest, Szentendre is the most captivating of the Danube Bend settlements. The easiest way to reach it is by the HEV suburban railway from Batthyny tr. During summer, boats make a five-hour journey all the way from Budapest to Esz-tergom, stopping en route at Szentendre and Visegrd. On your approach to Szentendre, dont be put off by the modern suburbsthe heart of the town remains virtually locked in the 18th century. Right at the centre is Fo tr, a picture-postcard cobblestone square. The iron rococo cross in the centre was erected in 1763 by the Serbian community (in gratitude for being spared by the plague) and the majestic Serbian church on the hill is the towns most prominent landmark. Serbian refugees twice settled here in the wake of Turkish invasions: first in the late 13th century, and then again in 1690. On the latter occasion, around 8,000 Serbs brought their religion, art, architecture, trades and crafts, and commercial acumen to Szentendre. The church in the square, the Blagovestenska Eastern Orthodox, is known as the Greek Church (Greek refugees also ed here), even though it, too, is Serbian. Built in the mid-18th century, its interior is a little gem, with a collection of Serb-painted icons well worth seeing. On one side of the church, in what used to be an 18th-century schoolhouse, you will find the Ferenczy Museum, displaying works by the Hungarian Impressionist Kroly Ferenczy and his two children. Another museum, on the opposite side of the church, conrms Szentendres status as an important artists colony. The Margit Kovcs Museum is the former home and workshop of ceramicist Margit Kovcs (19071977), unknown outside Hungary but worthy of an international audience. Inside there are attenuated sculptures of wide-eyed damsels, poignant religious icons, and ordinary people, stooped and tragic, bearing the whole weight of Hungarys 20th-century misfortunes. The rust-red, mid-18th-century Serbian church on the hill is only open for services, but in its grounds is the excellent Collection of Serbian Ecclesiastical Art, displaying precious carvings, icons, and manuscripts. The oldest church in the town lies just above here on top of the hill, affording a perfect vantage point from which to peer down into the tiny gardens and courtyards and across the towns venerable rooftops. The Catholic parish church dates mostly from the 13th century, though parts of it go back to the 11th century. During summer and early autumn, craft and souvenir stalls congregate around here. Opposite the church is another good local artists collection, that of the Impressionist Bla Czbel. You will nd much more art on display in town, but dont miss the modern art in the Barcsay Collection (on the road out to the bus and railway station). If you want a change from museums and galleries, a 4-km (212-mile) trip out of town brings you to a great place for historic films, the Hungarian Open Air Village Museum (Sza-badtri Nprajzi Mzeum), which is an offshoot of the Ethnographical Museum. Catch the number 8 bus departing from the terminal next to the HEV station, and ask for the Skanzen. There are also regular buses from the Tourinform ofce, on the road from the bus station to the centre. The 46-hectare (115-acre) museum site will eventually contain ten villages of real houses, churches, mills, farm buildings, workshops, and smithys, dating mostly from the late 18th to the early 20th century, and culled from all over Hungary. At present there are only three settlements to view, but even these will occupy you for at least half a day and possibly longer. It is a fascinating and picturesque simulation of old rural Hungary, brought to life by active craftspeople, gingerbread makers, and other rural folk. (Try to come on the rst or third Sunday of the month, when there are several different craft demonstrations.) An excellent guide book giving the general history of the villages and buildings, and details about individual interiors, is available for purchase. Dont miss climbing up the hill to visit the Greek Catholic Church from Mndok (in northeast Hungary), originally built in 1670, and boasting a painted iconostasis. The village is closed from November to April. Visegrd Farther up the river, where the Danube bends, lies Visegrd. You can get here by boat or the bus from Szentendre. This is one of the most picturesque sections of the river, where verdant hillsides roll down almost to the waters edge. The nest place to enjoy the viewsreminiscent of the best of the Rhineare at the Citadel, high on a hill above the ruins of the old palace of Visegrd (which means high castle in Slavic). The strategic value of a site commanding the river bend has been recognized since the fourth century, when the Romans built a fort here. In the 14th century, the Angevin kings of Hungary built a palace on the site, each monarch adding new rooms and more opulence until the establishment covered an area now estimated at some 18 hectares (44 acres). By the end of the 15th century, when King Mtys (see page 16) was resident, the palace, like his grand Buda residence, was famous all over Europe. One rather unwilling and notorious resident was the monstrous Vlad the Impaler (on whom the Dracula legend was partly based), held prisoner here from 1462 to 1475. Like King Mtyss Royal Palace in Buda, the palace of Visegrd fell into ruins in the Turkish occupation and was completely forgotten. Excavations began in 1930; part of the main building has been unearthed and certain parts have been rebuilt (using obviously new materials to differentiate these sections from the original ones). Among the best of the discoveries are the superb Hercules Fountain (a rare vestige of Hungarian Renaissance architecture), the vaulted galleries of the Court of Honour, and the restored Lions Fountain. On the hillside, the hexagonal tower, known as the Tower of Solomon, is now a museum of the palace. Topping it all is the Citadel, which was once considered so impregnable that the Hungarian crown jewels were kept here. Esztergom The third of the Danube Bend towns, Esztergom, situated a farther 20 km (12 miles) upriver, is linked by hydrofoil to Budapest, and by boat or bus to Szentendre and Visegrd. Take the boat if you have two hours to spare, as the rivers most scenic stretch lies between Visegrd and Esztergom. King Stephen was born in Esztergom, during his time the medieval capital of Hungary. It is still the religious centre of the country, boasting the largest church in the land. The towering basilica stands on the site of an 11th-century church where Stephen was crowned as the rst king of Hungary in the year 1000. This church was destroyed in the struggle with the Turks, and, for all its massive dimensions (or perhaps because of its size), the only part of the current structure that generates an ancient atmosphere is the rather spooky crypt. The most valuable part of the basilica is the red-marble side chapel called the Bakcz-kpolnaa pure example of Italian Renaissance style. Built in the 16th century, the chapel, taken from the ruins around it and reassembled in the 19th century, is all that survives of the original basilica. Note the white marble altar, which was sculpted by a Florentine master. Dont miss climbing the stairs of the Basilica for two more highlights. The treasury contains what purports to be Hungarys richest store of religious objects, including a crystal cross from the ninth century and the 15th-century Calvary of King Mtys. From priceless treasures, ascend the tower for a priceless view. As well as looking down over the town, you can also see across into Slovakia. The Danube forms a natural boundary; the bridge that up until World War I linked the two countries was symbolically left in ruins. Its a melancholy sight that recalls Hungarys claim on that part of the land north of the river, lost in the punitive 1920 Treaty of Trianon. Those interested can cross over by ferry at this point. (Note that the treasury as well as the tower are closed from November to April.) Alongside the basilica, the remains of a medieval royal palace have been excavated and restored, and today house the Castle Museum. Among the highlights in the museum are St. Stephens Hall, the frescoed Hall of Virtues (listed as Prudence, Temperance, Fortitude, and Justice), and the 12th-century Royal Chapel. The most popular collection in Esztergom lies at the foot of the Basilica Hill at the riverside. The Christian Museum (Keresztny Mzeum), with the most important provincial collection in Hungary, is the best religious art museum in the country. Covering mostly the Gothic and Renaissance periods from the 13th to the 16th centuries, it has some very good 14th- and 15th-century Italian paintings. Look out, as well, for the 15th-century Cofn of Garamszentbenedek, an intricately carved and painted devotional vehicle, previously paraded in the streets at Easter. Lake Balaton Hungary may be deprived of a coastline, but in Lake Balaton, a freshwater haven surrounded by verdant hills, fertile plains, orchards, vineyards, and historic villages, they have the next best thing. The northwest tip of Balaton is around 100 km (60 miles) from Budapest, lying within an easy and comfortable day-trip of the capital. Buses and trains serve the lake, and coach excursions visit here in summer. Balaton is the biggest lake in central and western Europe, measuring 77 km (48 miles) across, with an area of nearly 600 km2 (230 square miles). Yet its average depth is less than 3 metres (10 feet); in winter it freezes over completely, while in summer the shallow water is subject to wind-driven waves, and when a storm blows up even the ferries call it a day. However, for most of the summer, the hot sun warms the tranquil lake almost up to air temperature, luring swimmers in the thousands into the water. Whats more, the mildly alkaline water is said to be positively healthy for bathinga claim that few seaside resorts can make in these days of polluted shores. The Balaton authorities also ensure that the lake is kept clean and calm by banning motor boats (with exceptions that require special permits). If the sh are a barometer of a lakes health, all would appear to be hazard free: about 40 species thrive in it. Balaton pike-perch (fogas) is usually singled out as the tastiest of all. Fishermen operate from shore, from boats, and from platforms set a little distance into the lake. Ice-shing has been popular since the earliest times, when winter was the only season in which the catch could be preserved and sold in distant parts of Hungary. The frozen lake is also used by ice yachtsmen, whose wind-powered boats skate at hair-raising speeds across the frozen lake. Agriculture ourishes all along the circumference of the lake, enhancing the area with fruit trees, rippling expanses of wheat, and, in the area of Badacsony, some of the best vineyards in Hungary. The north and south shores of the lake have their own distinct personalities. The north shore shelves quicker and, in many places, is less suited to bathing than the southern shore. The north is backed by hills, greenery, and quaint villages; the south is atter and has extensive tourist facilities, perfect for the more hedonistic holiday-maker. The North Shore Driving from Budapest and navigating the lake in an counter-clockwise direction (along the perimeter Highway 71), the rst settlement of any size is at Balatonalmdi. There is a medieval chapel in the parish church, but most people come here to enjoy the beachthe biggest and one of the best-equipped along the northern shore, with space for 12,000 sunbathing bodies. Signs for the beach read strand, but that wont guarantee you a sandy or even pebbly foreshoreit simply means the lake edge, which may be sand, lawn, or even concrete. Balatonfred, some 13 km (8 miles) farther west, has a history as a spa stretching back to Roman times. The main square, called Gygy tr (meaning Health/Therapeutic Square), is a handsome place where the local mineral water bubbles up from the ground beneath a pagoda-like well-head. On three sides of the square stand grand old buildings: the 18th-century Horvth House, once an inn, now a miners sanatorium; the Trade Union Sanatorium of 1802, and the Cardiac Hospital, which has treated heart patients from all over the world. The small grove in front of the square has a number of trees dedicated by personalities who have visited here, including Indira Gandhi. Just off the square is Blaha Lujza utca, with a ne 1867 villa. On the opposite side of the road is the best coffee house on the lake: Kedves has been going strong for two centuries and once youve tasted their chocolate cake youll understand why. At the end of this street is a rotund church built in the 1840s, and a small museum to the Hungarian author Mr Jkai (closed November to February). It is not all cures, coffee, and culture here: Balatonfred is also one of the lakes liveliest resorts, bustling by day and night. One of the most attractive spots on Lake Balaton is the village of Tihany. The place gives its name to a peninsula which almost cuts the lake in two and ends at the ferry point of Tihanyi-rv, where there is a Club Med-style camp and hotel offering a gamut of entertainment. The peninsula is unspoiled and protected by its National Park status. It even has its own small lake, popular with bird-watchers and nature lovers. To the south are the domes of former geysers. Tihany is built high on a hill above the main lake, and its principal street, Pisky stny (a promenade), has a few charming traditional thatched houses. Start your tour of the village below this point at the Abbey Church (Aptsg), which stands just off the main road. The present 18th-century Baroque church stands over an atmospheric crypt almost a thousand years old. A rare survivor in a land constantly ravaged by so many invasions, it is claimed to be the oldest in Hungary. Here you will nd the tomb of King Andrs (Andrew) I who, in 1055, founded the Benedictine Abbey that once stood on this site. The church itself is being renovated at present, but even through the tarpaulins you can glimpse its rich Baroque carvings and decorative ornamentation. Next door to the Abbey Church, housed in the old priory, is the Tihany Historical Museum (closed November to February). This museum features regional folk items and art, three small rooms where Hungarys last king, Kroly IV, lived for ve days in 1921, and, in the basement, an atmospheric lapidarium containing Roman remains. In front of the church, King Andrs is commemorated in a typically offbeat Imre Varga statue, wrapped in an aluminium cloak. Some of the quaint thatched white houses that run along Pisky stny have been converted into an Ethnography Museum (similar to the one at Szentendre, see page 64, but on a much smaller scale). In the Fishermens House, for example, you can see canoes and shing equipment used on the lake until the 1930s (museum closed November to April). A promenade overlooking the lake passes restaurants as well as craft and souvenir shops before it ends at Echo Hill, where the views are ne, even if the reverberations you hear arent what they used to be. A marked path continues to the vrnot an old castle, as the name suggests, but a volcanic outcrop dotted with cells made by monks. The name of the region of Badacsony is as inextricably linked with Hungarys wine industry as that of Burgundy or Beaujolais in France. Apart from the opportunity to sample the local tipple, its the scenery that appeals to visitors here; the regions volcanic past is evident at rst sight of the conical green hills. The central basalt peak, Mount Badacsony, the biggest of all the extinct volcanoes at 437 metres (1434 feet), is invariably described as cofn-shaped. The basalt organ-pipes of Szentgyrgyhegy are an especially ne sight. If you are feeling fit and energetic you can hike up these hills, but the easy way is by car, or by a jeep that shuttles passengers to and from the bottom of the hill to the wine museum and three small museum houses, as well as scenic points of interest. A little way farther west, set off the main road, is the small settlement of Szigliget. The moody remains of a 13th-century castle offer ne views of the village and lake. The last town on the north shore, Keszthely (pronounced kest-hey), was once owned entirely by the wealthy Festetics family, and their palace is one of Hungarys most important Baroque monuments (open all year round). Here, among a selection of its 101 rooms, you can see something of the aristocratic life the family enjoyed during the 18th and 19th centuries. The highlight is the Helikon library, claimed to be the greatest in the country, and it alone is worth the palace entrance charge (which is hefty by Hungarian standards). A member of Hungarys dynasty, Count Gyrgy Festetics, founded Europes rst agricultural school here in 1797, which is now the Keszthely University of Agricultural Sciences. A museum situated on Bercsnyi utca preserves the memory of early local farming methods and equipment. The university gives the town another focus other than tourism, something unique among the lakeside settlements, and as a by-product there is a good selection of bars and restaurants. Continuing out of Keszthely to the southwest on Highway 71, you reach another good historical collection. The Balaton Museum portrays the story of the settlement of the lake and the development of its people, including their agriculture and shing and its fauna and flora, in a lively exhibition. The South Shore Just off the southwest corner of the lake lies Kis-Balaton (Little Balaton), a marshy National Reserve noted for its rare birdlife. Observation towers are provided for watchers. Fonyd ranks as the second largest of the south shore resorts, and ferries run from here to Badacsony. A better place to stay might be Balatonfldvr, arguably the areas most attractive resort, well-landscaped around parks and gardens. At Szntd, the lake is squeezed to its narrowest point by the Tihany peninsula. Cars invariably queue here to make the ten-minute crossing to the north shore. On the other side of Highway 70, almost due south of the ferry point, is Szntdpuszta. Traditional life on the countrys Great Plain (the puszta) is evoked through some 30 buildings dating from the 18th and 19th centuries, including a few farm buildings, a church, and a csrda (rustic restaurant). Displays of horsemanship, craftsmanship, and other rural activities are given regularly. The largest town on the lakes south coast is Sifok. This fairly popular tourist spot boasts a strand which holds thousands of sunbathers and lively nightlife. Pleasure craft depart from the large harbour, but the most pleasant stretch of waterfront is the gardens immediately east of the port. Continuing eastwards, just before the hotel zone, is the town centre, which has a small museum. WHERE TO GO W ith a country this big, how do you get to know the place as a whole? The answer is, of course, that you cant. Not even most Canadians will have seen all that you will see on a well-planned trip. A visit to Canada aiming at anything more than just one destinationToronto, Montral, or Vancouveris bound to seem a little intimidating. The distances to cover are enormous. But it can be done, with the journey itself a large part of the adventure, as you zoom across the wide-open spaces separating one city from another. The Handy Travel Tips section, beginning on page 218, gives detailed practical guidance, but here are some general ideas to help you plan your trip. On a first visit, youll probably be able to get a feel for just a few of the regions we describe, but you can capture the essence of Canada in a judicious combination of two or three major cities and the marvelous outdoor life. We do not attempt an encyclopedic coverage of every nook and cranny from the U.S. border to the Arctic Circle, but we do provide a representative sample of the countrys attractions. Where Weve divided the country into six regions, each with at least one major town accessible by air as a launching pad from which to explore the hinterland: Ontario; Qubec; the Atlantic (Newfoundland and the Maritimes); British Columbia; the Rockies and the Prairie Provinces (Alberta, Saskatchewan, and Manitoba); and the North (Yukon, Nunavut, and the Northwest Territories). Two suggested plans of attack are either to start in Toronto or Montral and take in Ontario and Qubec, with side trips to the Atlantic coast or even out to the West; or to start in Vancouver or Calgary and explore the Rockies and British Columbia before heading east to Ontario or Qubec, taking in the Prairies on a cross-country train ride. The North, on a first trip, must be considered a proposition strictly for the adventurous. In any case, count on at least three weeks, ideally a month, to even begin to do the place justice. When One of the great advantages to Canadas vast size is that, apart from a couple of major tourist attractions such as Niagara Falls, its never overcrowded. Even in high summer theres still plenty of room for everybody. Nonetheless, it is advisable to make advance bookings for some resort hotels on the Pacific coast, in the Rockies, or around the Great Lakes. July and August guarantee the best weather, though it can get very hot in Montral, Toronto, and the Prairie Provinces (aggravated in those provinces by the hot chinook wind off the Rockies). Farther to the north, mosquitoes can be a problem in summer. Connoisseurs of the forests of Qubec and the Maritimes favor the spectacular autumn from September to mid-October. While the West Coast is mild in May and June, in central and eastern Canada youll still find snow on the ground in May and a nip in the air into the month of June. The period from November to April is strictly for winter sports enthusiasts. Remember the old adage: Theres no bad weather, only bad clothing. In addition to your light summer wear, be sure to bring a sweater for the occasional chilly evenings. Rather than weighing down your luggage with anything cumbersome, take a leaf out of the Canadians book and keep warm by wearing several layers. If youre thinking of going north, consider long underwear. In any case, dont forget a raincoat, especially for British Columbia. Important everywhere is a good pair of walking shoessomething light but more solid than tennis shoes. How The most adventurous traveler who loves to improvise will still need a certain amount of advance planning. Canadas provincial tourist offices are conscientious and well worth consulting, even before you leave home. The national tourist office is also helpful, but in Canada the provinces jealously protect their prerogatives against the federal government, and maintain their own tourist offices that can give you detailed information about resorts, accommodations, camping, and sports facilities. To cover half a continent, air travel is invaluable. To get the cheapest deal, plan the broad outlines of your itinerary ahead of time so that you can buy your tickets before you reach Canada. The two national airlines, Air Canada and Canadian (each linked to smaller companies flying the interior), have cut-rate, multiple-flight ticketing. Helicopters and hydroplanes can fly you for fishing and camping expeditions in the more remote areas. Do take advantage of the boat cruises wherever you canaround Newfoundland, Halifax harbor, the Great Lakes, or the Inside Passage off the Pacific coast. For a closer look at all the wide-open spaces, take a train. VIA Rail Canada is the national passenger-train system using the tracks of Canadian Pacific and Canadian National, who devote themselves strictly to more lucrative freight carrying. Serving pretty good food in comfortable diners, with club cars, observation decks, and sleeping cars, VIA takes a leisurely four days from Montral to Vancouver. (From Montral to Toronto its 512 hours, faster by train than by road.) You may also want to consider Rocky Mountaineer Railtours (tel. (800) 665-7245, ), which offers daylight trips through the Canadian Rockies. Buses are a possibility for the occasional excursion, but a car remains essential for independent mobility. The airlines will arrange for car rentals at each airport. The Trans-Canada Highway stretches nearly 8,000 km (4,800 miles) from coast to coast, and secondary roads are very good until you get into the backwoods. Inside the major cities, you may prefer to park your car and use the generally efficient public transport. One of the best ways to explore the hinterland, especially in the national and provincial parks, is to rent a comfortably equipped mobile home or camper. This, too, should be done in advance. ONTARIO This choice piece of real estate between the Great Lakes and Hudson Bay is the countrys dominant provincetoo dominant for the liking of many of the others. With 10 million people clustered almost entirely along the southern border, Ontario is the most populous province and the wealthiest, generating close to 40 percent of the gross national product from manufacturing, construction, minerals, forestry, and agriculture. The province has grown in vitality with the influx of Italian, German, Portuguese, Caribbean, Indian, and Pakistani immigrants, reducing the once overwhelming British majority to barely 50 percent. If Ontarians are known for their bumptious spirit, they certainly have something to be bumptious about in their provinces burgeoning towns and the riches of its farmlands, forests, and lakes. Not content with taking over from Montral as the nations business capital, Toronto is surging forward with a vigorous cultural and social life. Bemused visitors from across the border note how it has been possible to create a vibrant modern metropolis without the hassles of inner-city blight and violence. As the national capital, Ottawa is the inevitable butt of jokes against its federal government bureaucracy, but patriots revere its parliament and museums preserving Canadas cultural treasures. Niagara Falls, Ontario, has, to the chagrin of many American tour operators, the best grandstand view of one of the Western Worlds great natural wonders. Southern Ontarios countryside is a gentle green delight enhanced by two theater festivals, the Shaw festival at Niagara-on-the-Lake and the Shakespeare festival at Stratford. Cruise around the Great Lakes, try the watersports on Georgian Bay, and explore the Thousand Islands or Point Pelee nature reserve. Ontarios history is preserved in lovingly reconstructed villages and forts marking the passage of French Jesuit missionaries at Sainte-Marie Among the Hurons, a fur-trading post at Thunder Bay, military positions at Fort George (Niagara) and Fort Henry (Kingston), and the pioneer communities at Upper Canada Village (Morrisburg) and Black Creek (Toronto). Toronto Ethnically diverse, Toronto is Canadas largest city, home to 4.3 million people. Hard to believe that this gleaming citadel of big business and the good urban life was a malarial swamp in the 1790s. Muddy York once could be recommended only by its commanding position on Lake Ontario, from which Fort York guarded the troublesome American border. Today, the mud is neatly paved over, the mosquitoes have flown elsewhere, and the Americans are less trouble than they used to be. Yonge Street, the military highway that founder John Simcoe thrust north from the fort to Lake Simcoe, starts out now as downtown Torontos main commercial artery. Its intersection at the elegant shopping thoroughfare, Bloor Street, is the fashionable hub of the city. Following John Simcoes military grid pattern, Torontos main arteries run from the lakefront north: Spadina and University Avenues, Bay, Yonge, and Church Streets; and eastwest: Front, King, Queen, Dundas, College-Carlton, and Bloor Streets. Our sightseeing itinerary starts down at the waterfront and works north through the business district to the chic shopping and museum area. As an alternative, especially if you have children, you may prefer to start downtown, around Union Station, and visit the other sights to the north before coming back to relax among the recreational attractions of the waterfront. Getting around the city is quite simple, but while downtown, park your car and walk or use the buses or subway. Waterfront Area You might face severe punishment from those very proud Torontonians if you dont begin your waterfront tour with a trip up the CN Tower. This handsome, outsize TV antenna makes up for its unimaginative name (from its builder, the Canadian National railway and telecommunications company) with all the fanciful interpretations of its shape: jousting lance, hypodermic needle, serpent frozen rigid while swallowing a football. At 605 m (1,815 ft), it is currently the worlds highest freestanding structure, 19 m (56 ft) more than a similar monster in Moscow. A plexiglass elevator whizzes you up the outside of the tower to two observation decks in the Skypod. The ride is free for those going to the revolving restaurant or nightclub (which also rank as the worlds highest, if you dont count a couple in the Rockies, Alps, and Himalayas). The view at the top reveals a whole history of Toronto in the contrast between the glass-and-steel skyscraper canyons of the financial district, the geometric dome and cantilevered structures of the Ontario Place leisure complex, and the old-fashioned gabled houses of the neighborhoods. Take a second elevator to the Space Deck, to get the full sweep of Lake Ontarios so-called Golden Horseshoe. Including Toronto, this dense urban belt from Oshawa in the east to Hamilton and St. Catharines in the west houses half the total population of the province. More romantically, you can catch a glimpse of Niagara Falls and peer across the border to Buffalo. After years of neglect, when it served only the lakes loading docks, railway depots, and factories, the waterfront has become a major attraction for Torontonians at play. Harbourfront is a bright new neighborhood reclaimed from a swampy wasteland, at the foot of the CN Tower. Rundown warehouses and factories have been transformed into art galleries, bars, restaurants, boutiques, a sailing school, playgrounds in the park, and, more recently, chic apartments. Young upwardly mobile peddlers of old and new-old china and other bric-a-brac on Queens Quay West call their flea market the Harbourfront Antique Market. The Canadian Railway Museum at Spadina Pier exhibits some of the earliest engines to cross the continent. For a thorough view of the port facilities, take the harbor boat tour organized by the Toronto Harbor Commission. Facing Harbourfront, the breezy beaches and picnic areas of the Toronto Islands offer another handy escape from the city bustle. They were part of the Scarborough Bluffs peninsula until storms and floods in the mid-19th century broke them up into islands, joined today by bridges. Ferryboats leave from the docks behind the Hilton Harbor Castle Hotel at the foot of Yonge Street, calling at the three main islands. No cars are allowed, but you can rent a bicycle, downtown or on Centre Island. The latter is the most popular with Torontonians, and its beaches are particularly crowded on weekends. In July, it is the major focus of the great West Indian Festival of Caribana, celebrating those other islands extravagant costumes and music, featuring steel band, calypso, and reggae. Quieter Wards Island, at the eastern end, is more residential; you can join the locals for their daily constitutional on the boardwalk. Swimmers tend to favor the beach at Hanlans Point, to the west, behind the Toronto Island Airport. Jutting out from the grounds of the annual Canadian National Exhibition (Ex to locals; held in late August), the ultramodern recreation complex of Ontario Place is built on three man-made islands. It combines the atmospheres of a theme park and a cultural center. Its most outstanding landmark is the white geodesic dome of the Cinesphere. On a six-story-high circular screen, it shows superb documentary films of spectacular natural phenomena, such as volcanic eruptions or the latest advances in earth and space exploration. Pedalos are a delightfully lazy way of getting a ducks eye view of the attractions. Energetic 4- to 14-year-olds love the Childrens Village, complete with trampoline and waterslide, and toddlers can splash around in the duck ponds. Before you move on, put your drenched kids through the huge dryer shaped like a bird. The older crowd gathers at the Molson Canadian Ampitheatre to listen to rock concerts or heads for the outdoor ForumAmpitheatre, seating 11,000 spectators for its classical, jazz, and rock concerts. The best way to ensure good seats for the top attractions is to picnic on the grass before the show begins. Moored at the entrance to the park is the Canadian warship H.M.C.S. Haida, a destroyer active in World War II and the Korean War named after the peace-loving Haida Indians of British Columbia. Youll find sea cadets on board to answer your questions. Nearby, the Marine Museum of Upper Canada (Exhibition Place, just west of Princes Gate) traces the history of shipping on the St. Lawrence River and the Great Lakes, with all the brass and wooden paraphernalia of the old vessels in addition to some beautiful scale models. If patriots make a reverent pilgrimage to Canadas Sports Hall of Fame (just off Lakeshore Boulevard West at Exhibition Place) to salute heroic athletes of the past, the separate Hockey Hall of Fame provides a tonic lesson for American visitors to recall, among the trophies, masks, skates, and hockey sticks, the fact that nearly all their ice hockey heroes are Canadian-born. With the many splits between Anglo- and French-Canadians, Protestants and Catholics, ice hockey is the closest thing the country has to a state religion. Of all the many historic sites carefully preserved and prettied up around the country, Old Fort York (Garrison Road off Fleet Street between Bathurst Street and Strachan Avenue) has one of the most bizarre locations, sandwiched between the Gardner Expressway and the railway tracks. When Lieutenant Governor Simcoe built it in 1793, it commanded a strategic position directly on the lakeshore, facing potential attack from across the American border. In the War of 1812, retreating British forces chose to destroy it rather than let it fall into American hands. It was rebuilt in 1841 and restored in 1934 as a tourist attraction, with a diorama of the Battle of York and authentically furnished 19th-century officers quarters, log cabins, and military surgery. In summertime, you can watch troops parading in the British Armys famous scarlet uniforms, performing bayonet drills and firing their muskets. Heart of Downtown The essence of Toronto, old and new, is concentrated around Union Station. It was inaugurated by the Prince of Wales in 1927, when stations were still built like Greek temples (Corinthian pillars, heroic statues, and ceramic-tiled ceilings); it is one last proud fanfare for the transcontinental railways that founded the countrys industrial prosperity. In this headquarters city of Canadian National railways, the station also symbolized Torontos position as a major commercial and industrial center. Across the street, the venerable Royal York hotel, refurbished to something of its 1929 grandeur, provides a businessmens palace as appropriate counterpart. It is linked to the station by a large underground concourse of shops and banks. If the station and its hotel showed where Toronto was heading, the bright new Metro Toronto Convention Center to the west proclaims the citys triumphant arrival. Its amenities include all the latest electronic technology for audiovisual and communications services, three main halls for up to 12,000 conventioneers, banquet halls, Grand Ball Room, and sports facilities to stretch those tired executive muscles. Providing a cultural counterpoint a block north of the Convention Center, Vancouver architect Arthur Ericksons transparent Roy Thomson Hall glows at night to show off the throngs of smart concert-goers attending the Toronto Symphony Orchestra. The more middlebrow entertainment of bouncy Broadway musicals can be had at the nearby Edwardian Royal Alexandra Theatre. This, along with the popular old-fashioned restaurants next door, was restored by discount retailing tycoon Ed Mirvish, who later endeared himself to the British theater public by renovating Londons Old Vic. The Bay Street financial district, Inland from Union Station, accentuates the towns evolution. Almost all the Neo-Classical limestone and marble monuments enshrining the old banks and stock exchange have been replaced by glittering steel-and-glass towers and tiered pyramids. Royal Bank Plaza, at the corner of Front and Bay Streets, reflects the new prosperity in the gilded glass of its windows (treated with some real gold). The vast lobby and atrium of the interior are correspondingly opulent, a dazzling play of cascade, ponds, and greenery beneath a dcor of thousands of aluminum cylinders, the work of Venezuelan sculptor Jess Raphael Soto. While the plazas architect Boris Zerafa is a gifted local boy, Torontos other banks have not hesitated to bring in talents of international renown. In starkly austere but elegant contrast to the Royal Banks exuberance is German Bauhaus master Mies van der Rohes five black steel towers for the Toronto Dominion Centre (between Wellington and King Streets). Immediately to the east in Commerce Court is an exhilarating 57-story glass-and-stainless-steel tower by Chinese-American architect I. M. Pei, designer of the new wing of Washingtons National Gallery and the Great Pyramid for the Louvre museum in Paris. Completing the financial picture north of the Dominion Center is First Canadian Place, Canadas tallest office building. In one tower is the Bank of Montral, reached across a pleasant green courtyard with smart shops around the waterfall. The second tower houses the infinitely more boisterous, modern Toronto Stock Exchange. Behind the Exchange Tower is a trading pavilion with an observation deck from which you can watch the frenetic transactions. Best hours are between 10am and 2pm. Mammon keeps company with the muses in the Exchange Lobby where, against a handsome setting of sculptures, paintings, and Art Deco design, computer monitors give the latest prices from around the world. A bustling underground network of concourses and escalators links the major buildings of the financial district to create a whole other neighborhood of shopping malls, cinemas, and restaurants, providing warm shelter in the winter and air-conditioned relief in the humid summer. East of Yonge Street along Front, the Hummingbird Centre for the Performing Arts is a less-than-graceful concrete bunker that is home to the National Ballet of Canada and the Canadian Opera Company. Next door, Canadian drama, both contemporary and classical, is given pride of place at the St. Lawrence Centre for the Performing Arts. A block away at Jarvis Street, the sprawling indoor-outdoor St. Lawrence Market is open Tuesdays to Saturdays, with the flea market setting up its stalls here on Sundays. Buskers turn it into something of a genteel English country fair on the weekend. Nearby St. Lawrence Hall, once host to the freaks and darlings of Victorian vaudeville, has been beautifully restored to its original pink and green to provide a second home for the National Ballet. In a country not renowned for its ecumenical harmony, Church Street lines up the Anglican St. James Cathedral, the United Churchs Metropolitan Church, and the Roman Catholic St. Michaels Cathedral, each an architectural variation of the Neo-Gothic style of the Victorian era. North of Queen Street, Nathan Phillips Square, named after a prominent Toronto mayor, is the center of municipal government. In the summer, ethnic communities hold their festivals and parades around the great reflecting pool. In the winter, the pool becomes a skating rink and the focus for ebullient celebrations on New Years Eve. Old City Hall, a grand Neo-Gothic stone monument (1899) with clock-tower and gargoyles, has been converted into a courthouse to make way for the striking modern (1965) landmark of New City Hall, designed by Finnish architect Viljo Revell. Its two gently curving office blocks open like an oyster over a domed pearl containing the council chamber. Henry Moores statue The Archer adorns the courtyard. No tour of Torontos civic past and present is complete without a pilgrimage over to Bond Street, south of Dundas, to Mackenzie House, home of Torontos first and most celebrated mayor (82 Bond St., tel. (416) 392-6915). William Lyon Mackenzie, a Dundee-born Scot, lived here after his return from exile for leading a revolt in 1837 (see page 20). In the meticulously restored interior, guides in traditional colonial dress explain the memorabilia of the fiery newspaperman, including the hand-operated flatbed printing press on which he turned out his revolutionary newspaper, The Colonial Advocate. West of Mackenzie House, at the corner of Yonge and Dundas streets, is one of Torontos shopping musts, the Eaton Centre. The late-20th-century phenomenon of the giant mall becomes here a spectacular showcase of galleries under an arched glass roof, with fiberglass geese suspended in a refreshing dcor of greenery and flowers. West of Nathan Phillips Square, beyond tree-lined lawns, is Osgoode Hall, a true jewel of Georgian architecture in white limestone and amber brick, and the seat, since 1832, of the Law Society of Upper Canada. Notice the beautiful wrought-iron cow gates put up at the main entrance to keep the cattle out in those early rural days. It may whet your appetite to see a couple of other gracious relics of the Georgian era inside. Visit Campbell House (1822) on the northwest corner of Queen and University Streets. Guides in Colonial Dames costumes will show you around the home of Sir William Campbell, Chief Justice of Upper Canada in the 1820s. The Grange can be reached through the basement of the Art Gallery of Ontario (see page 59) at Grange Park. There, costumed guides will help to give you a sense of the grand life enjoyed by members of the much admired and hated Family Compact. The Boultons built this country mansion in 1817, when its grounds stretched more than 3 km (2 miles) from Queen clear up to Bloor Street. Note the fine winding staircase, statuary, and stained-glass windows. Be sure to go downstairs, too, to visit the spacious kitchens. On McCaul Street, across from the Art Gallery, the Village by the Grange tries to recreate something of this old world atmosphere for its boutiques and restaurants. Queens Park and Yorkville The broad tree-lined University Avenue makes an appropriately dignified and pleasant approach to the High Victorian pink sandstone Provincial Parliament Building and other government offices in the middle of the oval Queens Park. Guided tours will show you the principal halls and chambers. From the visitors gallery, you can watch provincial parliamentary debates when in session (February to June and October to December). West of Queens Park is the University of Toronto, one of the top colleges in North America, with most of its buildings in traditional Oxbridge Romanesque-and-Gothic. The medical school has maintained a high reputation since its researchers Frederick Banting and Charles Best made their discovery of insulin in 1921. The university bookshopknown locally as book roomson College Street is the best in town. Between Avenue Road and Yonge Street north of Bloor is Yorkville, the towns most appealing district in which to stroll. In a transformation no less dramatic than the Harbourfront, the hippy slum of the 1960s has been refurbished into a chic neighborhood of fashionable boutiques, art galleries, sidewalk cafs, gourmet restaurants, and colorfully repainted old houses. Hazelton Lanes is a delightful variation on the conventional shopping mall, where the maze of walkways and staircases around sunken courtyards is deliberately designed to get you lost until you buy or eat your way out. You might very easily walk right past the unprepossessing faade of the Metro Toronto Library (on Yonge one block north of Bloor), but the subtly interconnected areas of architect Raymond Moriyamas striking interior may tempt you to give up your vacation and get down to some solid study. Five floors of book stacks in a dcor of orange and burnt sienna surround a brilliant atrium enclosing greenery, a fountain, and a reflector pool, while a transparent elevator zips silently up and down. Crazy Casa Loma, northwest of Yorkville at 1 Austin Terrace, is Torontos answer to Californias Hearst Castle. Its battlements and turrets are all a self-respecting financier like Henry Pellatt could have wished for. After touring the castles of Europe for a few ideas, he built the 98-room mansion in the early 1900s at the then-astronomical cost of $3,500,000. He chose his oak and walnut from North America, teak from Asia, paneling, marble, and glass from Europe. With all its terraces, massive walls, and echoing rooms, it isnt exactly cozy. That may explain why Pellatt provided himself with a secret escape route through a hidden staircase leading from his study (and now open to the public). Whatever folly of grandeur the financier entertained is best seen in the opulently paneled Oak Room and the stained-glass dome, marble floors, and Italianate bronze doors of the Conservatory. Take the long tunnel from the wine cellar to the stables, where the horses were spoiled silly with a home of Spanish tile and mahogany. The Ethnic Neighborhoods In typical North American style, Torontos ethnic communities move around as they grow more affluent or as new construction pushes them out. The high-rises and parking garages behind the New City Hall forced Chinatown to move west. This is the largest Chinatown in Canada, if not in all of North America. The community has set up restaurants, hardware stores, and herbal medicine shops along Dundas Street and Spadina Avenue. Look in at the pagoda-roofed China Court shops grouped around a little Chinese garden. Other ethnic groupsPortuguese, Greeks, Italians, West and East Indiansbuy and sell at nearby Kensington Market, west of Spadina. It has the delightful, exotic chaos of a bustling bazaar, most of all on Saturday mornings. The Jews who once inhabited this Kensington Market area have moved to smarter Forest Hill, northwest of Casa Loma. Youll find souvlaki restaurants and bouzouki music of Little Athens across the Don River on Danforth Avenue, home of the first Italian immigrants. Little Italy, which is actually shared with the Portuguese, is located around Dufferin and St. Clair West. Museums Undergoing an ambitious program of renovation, the richly endowed Royal Ontario Museum, popularly known as the ROM (100 Queens Park), has won international recognition for its collections of Chinese, Egyptian, Greek, and Roman antiquities, as well as the art of North American Indians and Inuit. The magnificent Chinese Collection presents the objects and ornaments of some 3,500 years of civilization, stretching from the Bronze Age Shang Dynasty to the extinction of the Manchu Dynasty in 1912, when China became a republic. The exhibits include ceramic statues of various figures of the imperial court, as well as models of a nobles house and a Ming tomb. In a refreshing departure from the conventionally dry and scholarly displays of antiquities, the captions on the showcases do a fine job of placing the exhibits in a living contextexplaining, for instance, the way a house was designed to deal with the changing elements and seasons, or the religious significance of the figurines that people the tomb. The bulk of the collection was assembled by fur trader George Crofts after he settled in the port of Tianjin; it was continued after his death in 1925 by the Anglican Bishop of Hunan, William Charles White. The Bishop White Gallery features Buddhist and Taoist frescoes of the 13th-century Yuan Dynasty, under Emperor Kublai Khan, along with some monumental polychrome and gilded wooden statues of the Buddha. Across the street from the ROM, the George R. Gardiner Museum of Ceramic Art offers a very attractive way of acquiring an instant history of ceramics from 2000 b.c. to the 18th century. The huge collection includes pre-Columbian earthenware figures, brilliant Italian Renaissance Majolica, more sedate but elegant Dutch and English Delftware of the 16th and 17th centuries, and the Rococo forms of German Meissen porcelain. In front of the Art Gallery of Ontario (AGO), 317 Dundas Street West, an intense Henry Moore bronze, Large Two Forms, proclaims the museums outstanding feature: North Americas finest collection of the Britons works. The Henry Moore Sculpture Centre occupies a whole wing designed by the artist himself. The 600 pieces of the collection shown on a rotation basis include major works, small-scale bronze models, sketches, and paintings. But its the great plaster casts in their sometimes brutal original state that give the visitor a unique opportunity to see a representative sample of the monumental pieces that grace public squares and university quadrangles all over the world. Besides the celebrated reclining figures, look for the formidable skull-like design from which the Nuclear Energy monument was cast for the University of Chicago. The AGOs Walker Gallery exhibits sculpture by fellow Briton Barbara Hepworth, as well as Rodin, Dgas, and Maillol. The European collection of paintings includes important works by Tintoretto, Rembrandt, Van Dyck, Rubens, Frans Hals, Jan van Goyen, and Poussin. An Ontario collection gives a prominent place to British painters, including Hogarth, Raeburn, Reynolds, and Gainsborough. Among the Impressionists and their followers represented here are Renoir, Pissarro, Monet, Czanne, and Van Gogh. Moderns include Matisse, Picasso, and Braque. The Canadian collection provides a comprehensive survey of 200 years of Canadian painting, pride of place going to Emily Carr, Tom Thomson, and members of the influential Group of Seven. Two museums on the city outskirts are well worth the trip. The marvelously entertaining Ontario Science Centre stands 11 km (6 miles) northeast of the city center (770 Don Mills Rd.). Here, adults and children are expected to participate, and they do so enthusiastically in what turns into a sophisticated push-button play center, focused as much on the future as the past and present proving that science can be fun. The Centres design, in a lovely green ravine of the Don River valley, makes an exciting first impression. Architect Raymond Moriyama has linked up the Centres several buildings with escalators and passageways like a series of atomic nuclei, comparable to his work on the various spaces and levels of the Metro Toronto Library. Inside, its one thing to remember what your teacher told you about static electricity, and quite another to touch (without risk) the Centres 500,000-volt sphere and see your hair stand on end. You can man the controls of a space vehicle for a simulated moon-landing, broadcast your voice clear around the world through a parabolic sound reflector, or find out what goes on off-camera in a fully equipped TV studio. The McMichael Canadian Collection (in the village of Kleinburg, 25 km/15 miles, 40 minutes drive, northwest of Toronto) consecrates the work of one of Canadas best-known schools of painting, the Group of Seven. These artists of the first half of the 20th century sought the sources of their inspiration in a distinctly Canadian landscape rather than in the derivative themes of European painting. The museum has chosen an appropriate setting of evergreen forest overlooking the Humber valley for its location. The stone and log building is itself, in more solid form, a visual reference to the log cabins of the countrys earliest settlers. Look out, too, for the Inuit and Indian art, most notably the work of Norval Morrisseau, a Midwiwin Indian from northern Ontario whose works explore traditional subjects with a modern abstract technique. Black Creek Pioneer Village Here, 20 km (12 miles) northwest of downtown Toronto at Jane Street and Steeles Avenue, conservationists have re-created an 1860s farm and an early Ontario log-cabin village. In horse-drawn carts you visit costumed villagers tilling and harvesting, sheep-shearing, grinding flour in the mill, weaving, and fashioning horseshoes in the smithy. Home-cooked meals are served at the posthouse inn. Niagara Peninsula The 90-minute drive from Toronto to Niagara Falls (130 km/81 miles south of Toronto) curves around the west end of Lake Ontario through the provinces industrial heartlandMississauga, Hamilton, and St. Catharines, known as the Golden Horseshoe. If you want to see the Falls without getting entangled overnight in the mob scene of the tourists (12 million visitors annually), stay over in the quieter town of Niagara-on-the-Lake, a mere half-hour drive away. Niagara Falls The true marvel of Niagara is how nature manages to triumph over tawdry commercialism, perhaps less strident on the Canadian than on the American side of the border marked by the Falls. No amount of pushy peddlers or tacky pink honeymoon motels (if you do stay overnight, ask to see one of the hilarious bridal suites) can diminish the spectacle of that mass of white water taking its awesome plunge on the way from Lake Erie towards Lake Ontario and the Atlantic. Mere statisticsan average of 2,830 cubic m (100,000 cubic ft) of water per second generating 4 million kilowatts of energyconvey nothing of the falls immensity, but a close-up view is unforgettable. The Niagara River divides in fact into two major cascades around Goat Island: to the east, American Falls (61 m/184 ft high with a crestline of 350 m/1,076 ft) and to the west, the more dramatic Canadian Horseshoe Falls (58 m/177 ft high with a curving crestline of 670 m/2,214 ft), and a smaller cascade off to the side, known as Bridal Veil. There are several vantage points from which to view the Falls. Table Rock, named after a ledge thats long since fallen in the river, is right on the brink of Horseshoe Falls. Down below, the Table Rock Scenic Tunnels take you behind the mighty wall of water. With the price of the ticket, you borrow some protective clothing, but nothing is totally waterproof against Niagara. Dont let that worry youseeing Niagara and not getting wet would be silly. Just keep a dry change of clothing in the car. A boat tour below the falls in one of the three vessels that go by the name of Maid of the Mist takes you past and damply close to both falls. The Spanish Aero cable car gives you a birds-eye view of the Niagara Whirlpool rapids. For an overall view, try the Skylon and Minolta towers. Away from the hustle and hype, Queen Victoria Park is a delight for hikers, cyclists, and picnickerseven cross-country skiers in winter, when the falls take on a much more romantic look, all the more so for being relatively deserted. In spring, the park gardens put on a magnificent show of daffodils, tulips, magnolias, and roses, and diners in the park restaurant get a great view of the falls nighttime illuminations. Niagara-on-the-Lake A meandering 30-km (18-mile) riverside drive north along the lovely tree-lined Niagara Parkway takes you from the tumult of the tourist buses to the tranquillity of this old Loyalist bastion. The town, settled by refugees from the American Revolution in 1792 and briefly capital of Upper Canada, jealously preserves an image of a British way of life revisited by North American nostalgia. The main street, Queen Street, pays tribute to the Anglo-Saxon myth with its clock tower, white clapboard and red-brick houses, the grand Prince of Wales Hotel, tea shops serving buns and buttered scones, and the lovingly restored Niagara Apothecary (1866) displaying old-fashioned medicine jars in walnut cabinets under ornamental crystal gaslights. On the quiet avenues off the main street, you can taste something of the genteel life in some delightful little boarding houses that supplement the usual hotels. They operate principally from May to October, when the town hosts the popular Shaw Festival. Works of George Bernard Shaw and other major playwrights are performed in the modern Festival Theatre (Wellington Street and Queens Parade Road), with its pleasant garden for a cocktail between acts. A couple of smaller theaters put on musical comedies and light revues. On the outskirts of town, Fort George, the British garrison on the Niagara frontier during the 1812 War, destroyed by the Americans, was restored in the 1940s. A rebuilt stockade of six earth and log bastions connected by a wooden palisade surrounds workshops, hospital, kitchens, and the original 1796 stone powder house. Infantry drills are staged in the summer. Apart from B.C.s Okanagan Valley, the Niagara peninsula is Canadas only serious wine-growing area, not comparable with Bordeaux or Burgundy, but still respectable. At St. Davids, southwest of town, you can visit the Chteau des Charmes winery and taste for yourself. Stratford Situated in the heart of the peninsula, 130 km (78 miles) or 2 hours drive from Toronto, Stratford town is well worth a visit for its celebrated Stratford Festival spanning the whole tourist season, from May to November. Since Tyrone Guthrie opened the festival in a tent in 1953, Shakespeare and other English classics such as Sheridan and Marlowe have been given pride of place. Their home is now the apron-staged Festival Theatre, while the Avon Theatre and Third Stage put on alternative fare, offering jazz and chamber-music concerts as well as a chance to discover Canadian playwrights. Every effort is made to sustain an Elizabethan atmosphere, with curtain times heralded by trumpeters in Renaissance doublet and hose. Picnic in Queens Park and give your crumbs to the ducks and swans on Victoria Lake. A Shakespearean Garden displays the flowers mentioned by the Bard in his sonnets and plays. Point Pelee National Park At the southern end of the peninsula, indeed the southernmost point of the Canadian mainland, Point Pelee is one of the most distinctive of the countrys nature reserves. Its on the same latitude as northern California or Rome, and so endowed with a most un-Canadian climate and vegetation that offer a hospitable crossroads for 347 species of birds on their biannual northsouth migrations. Bald point, as French explorers dubbed it, is the southern half of a 20-km (12-mile) sandspit jutting out into Lake Erie. Its terrain is a mixture of marshland, forest, meadows, and sandy beaches. Beginning with a lookout tower for bird-watchers, a circular boardwalk takes you out onto the marshes to observe the flight of the redwing blackbird and purple martin, while bittern stay tucked away in the reeds. Look, too, for the pretty pink-blossomed swamp rose-mallow, unique to Point Pelee. Well-marked bicycle and hiking trails wind through the woods, where youll see hackberry, sassafras, sycamore, black walnut, and red cedar, many of the trees draped with hanging vines reminiscent of the American Carolinas. In the spring, the great sport is fishing for smelt during their spawning run, ending the day with a communal fish-fry on the beach. In September, even before the leaves turn, trees go bright orange with the wings of millions of Monarch butterflies on their way to Mexico. Lakes Huron and Superior Ontarios playgrounds, weekend cottages, and marinas hug the shores and islands of the upper Great Lakes, offering resort hotel facilities. The more adventurous campers, hikers, and canoeists can explore the national and provincial parks for a taste of the northern interiors wilderness. Georgian Bay The bay practically forms a separate lake. These old stamping grounds of the Huron Indians (until they were decimated by Iroquois warriors and European disease) are now a popular weekend and summer destination for the families of Toronto professionals. The town of Midland is the center of the Huron region. Its Huronia Museum and Gallery of Historic Huronia and the copy of a Huron village in Little Lake Park illustrate the simple lifestyle of the native peoples before the arrival of the Jesuits in the 17th century. West of town, Sainte-Marie among the Hurons is a reconstruction of the Jesuit mission built in 1639. Today, besides some (real) Huron Indians, costumed students show you how the community functioned with priests, carpenters, gardeners, and blacksmiths. Its worth beginning your visit with the half-hour documentary film to understand the dramatic fate of the mission. It must be said that the Huron were less interested in conversion to Christianity than in the goods to be gained from the fur traders who followed the priests on this first French settlement in Ontario. But dealing directly with Europeans threatened the position of the rival Iroquois as middlemen between the Huron (and Algonquin) and the Dutch and British traders down in Albany, New York. The Iroquois killed thousands of Huron in all-out war, and two Jesuits, Jean de Brbeuf and Gabriel Lalemant, were tortured to death. To halt the Iroquois advance, the French community of 300 burned their own village and returned to Qubec. The simple little Church of St. Joseph contains the tombs of the martyred missionaries. A museum outside the stockade depicts the life of the 17th-century French-Canadians, including the artifacts and birchbark canoes of the fur traders. The dramatic landscapes of the Georgian Bay Islands National Park, a particular favorite of the Group of Seven, now attract fishermen, scuba divers, and other watersports enthusiasts. The bays islands are said to number 30,000, if you include all the rocky outcrops and tree-clumped sandbanks, and the park includes 77 of the most attractive of these islands. Midland and Tobermory offer boat cruises and shuttle services out to individual islands. Beausoleil Island, off Honey Harbor just outside Midland, is the focus or launching pad of the islands park, very well equipped for camping (there are no restaurant facilities on any of the islands, so be sure to take your own supplies). The Tobermory Islands are renowned for their rock formations, most notably Flowerpot Island, where tall limestone monoliths have been eroded into bizarre vase-like shapes. Thunder Bay For vacationers, this town strategically located on Lake Superiors northwest shore is a springboard to the national parks of Ontarios interior. But its also worth taking a look first at the impressive port facilities of this western terminus of the St. LawrenceGreat Lakes Seaway, which has given Thunder Bay its second name: the Lakehead. Freighters come 3,200 km (1,920 miles) inland from the Atlantic to take on grain shipments from the Prairie Provinces or bring other heavy cargo to all points west in both Canada and the United States. Starting out from the centrally located North Marina, a harbor cruise takes you around the gigantic fortress-like grain silos for a close-up view of the ships in dock. A longer cruise from the same marina follows the Kaministikwia River to Old Fort William (20 minutes by car), the handsomely reconstructed trading post of the NorWesters, intrepid rivals of the Hudsons Bay Company (see page 16). Sheep graze the courtyard lawns, bread is still made in the bakery, and the cookhouse provides lusty country fare. In the company store youll see the kind of simple copper and pewter utensils and steel knives that were more precious than gold to the Midwiwin Indians bringing in their beaver pelts. Just up the road, 40 km (25 miles) northwest of Thunder Bay, the beautiful Kakabeka Falls is surrounded by its own provincial park providing a quiet natural setting thats a far cry from Niagara. A boardwalk takes you through the woods along the Kaministikwia River and across a bridge for a view of the falls from both sides. The 151-m (154-ft) cascade flows at its fullest in spring and autumn when the hydrostations dont slow it down. There are good facilities for camping and bathing. Canoeists and hikers really intent on getting away from civilization head two hours west of Thunder Bay along Highway 11 to the Quetico Provincial Park. This is the country through which the NorWesters coureurs de bois paddled their way to the Indian trappers remote camps, adopting the natives lore for tackling the wilderness, including their snowshoes, toboggans, and birchbark canoes. The indigenous peoples have been here for 9,000 years and have left their colored pictographs of moose, caribou, bears, and turtles etched in the granite cliffs. The only road into the park leads to the Dawson Trail Campgrounds on French Lakepleasant for a days picnic and swimming. For longer stays, the information office provides detailed maps of Queticos fantastic network of interlocking waterways. You can rent a canoeno motor launches allowedand fishing equipment (excellent pike, bass, and trout) in the old mining and logging town of Atikokan. Ottawa Like most national capitals created artificially to avoid favoring one established metropolis over another, Ottawa is the perennial butt of carping and jokes. Its true of Washington, of Braslia, of Canberra, and even more so in Canada where the very idea of a centralized federal government is so hotly contested by its independent-minded provinces. People rarely like government at the best of times, and when its the towns main, almost exclusive industry, they have a built-in prejudice against it. But Ottawas second major source of income is nonetheless tourism, because the town is pleasant, offering a pretty setting of parks and waterways for its first-class museums and colorful monuments. The countrys short history is epitomized by a skyline of solid Victorian parliamentary buildings and a bold modern architecture of office blocks and the new National Gallery. And the government machinery remains firmly in touch with its roots when in winter the bureaucrats skate and ski to work along the frozen Rideau Canal. Accommodatingly situated on the border between Ontario and Qubec, Ottawa is a fully bilingual city, though most of the French-speaking community (and the best restaurants) now have their homes in Hull on the Qubec side of the Ottawa River. Except for longer excursions, try to leave the car in the hotel parking lot and walk or take the bus. The complex system of one-way streets designed to avoid rather than to reach key government buildings, and the added confusion of curving rivers and canals, make downtown driving a harrowing business even for locals. One other point: In the absence of any clear logic in street numbering, its important when noting an address to be sure you have the nearest cross-streets as well as the number of the building. Parliament Area Like the Parliament assemblage in London from which they unashamedly take their architectural inspiration, the Parliament Buildings are an imposing Neo-Gothic pile restored from the ruins left after a devastating fire in 1916 (a current restoration is slated for completion in the year 2000). They dominate the Ottawa River from a bluff somewhat exaggeratedly known as Parliament Hill. As a counterpart to Westminsters Big Ben, the 98-m (294-ft) Peace Tower, with clocks on all four sides and a 53-bell carillon, was built in front of the Center Block as a monument to World War I. Take the elevator to the observation deck for a fine view of the town from just below the clocks. Guided tours take in the chambers of the Senate (in place of Britains House of Lords) and the House of Commons. If you want to attend a debate, the tourist office (National Arts Centre, 53 Elgin Street at Confederation Square) will advise you on how to get a permit. The handsome pine-paneled Library of Parliament, north of the Centre Block, miraculously survived the 1916 fire. Beneath the formidable Gothic rotunda, youll see an imperial, almost goddess-like marble statue of Victoria surrounded by more mortal early Canadian Prime Ministers. Some of the latters offices have been restored in the East Block, which also survived the fire in its 1872 state. Switching its echoes from Westminster to Buckingham Palace, Parliament Hill provides pomp with a Changing of the Guard by 125 soldiers of the Governor Generals Foot Guards (June 23 to August 25, 2001 at 9:45 a.m). On summer evenings, a sound and light show illuminates the Parliament Buildings to present, alternately in English and French, a 30-minute history of Canada. Sparks Street Mall, the first street in Ottawa to be paved and then the citys, indeed the countrys, first traffic-free pedestrian zone, is a pleasant shopping area enlivened by street musicians and clowns and bordered by some first-class modern office buildings. Pride of place goes to the elegant 12-story mirror-glass Bank of Canada (between Kent and Bank Streets) by Arthur Erickson. The green patina of the buildings copper skeleton is an artful homage to the copper roofs on the old Parliament Buildings. Inside is the Currency Museum (see page 78). On the vast three-sided Confederation Squarepopularly known for its traffic congestion as Confusion Squarenotice the great granite arch of the National War Memorial, with its statues of 22 World War I soldiers and a horse-drawn cannon. Ironically, it was dedicated by George VI just three months before the outbreak of World War II. The squares bunker-like National Arts Centre (1969) houses the capitals ballet, opera, and theater, but its the summer beer-garden overlooking the Rideau Canal that is the most popular attraction. Getting a federal governments priorities in proper perspective, one member of parliament bemoaned the cultural center as 50 years ahead of its timethats how long itll take the taxpayers to meet the 500 percent cost overrun. The formidable Chteau Laurier, (1912) a railway hotel on the north side of the square, is built in the Renaissance castle style much favored by the C.P.R. and C.N.R. for their luxury transcontinental hostelries. Local citizens boast that the Rideau Canal, which stretches 200 km (120 miles) from the Ottawa River to Lake Ontario, qualifies in winter as the worlds longest skating rink. In summer, it offers delightful boat cruises and canoeing, or you can explore its banks with a rented bicycle. On the edge of the parliamentary district, across the Rideau Canal, is Byward Market (one block east of Sussex Drive and north of Rideau Street). Since 1846, when it was a clearing house for nearby farmers, this has been the popular center of town, meeting place for the non-politicos. In its jolly, well-restored state, only one of the market stalls dates as far back as 1867, but the market retains much of its 19th-century atmosphere. Quite apart from the colorful stalls of fruit and vegetables, its a great place for breakfast, open even on Sundays in a town that otherwise closes down when the bureaucrats go home. Sussex Drive This is the grand parade drive along the Ottawa River to the towns smartest residential neighborhood, home of ministers and Embassy Row. The Neo-Gothic Basilica of Notre-Dame (Sussex at Guigues) was born with the capital. The Catholic cathedrals steeples went up in 1858, though the whole church was not completed until 1890. Qubec sculptors Louis Philippe Hbert, Philippe Parizeau, and Flavien Rochon carved the pulpit, choir stalls, organ loft, and bas-reliefs. Turn off on St. Patrick Street to drive through Nepean Point Park to a statue of Samuel de Champlain, founder of Qubec, who looks west along the Ottawa River with his Huron Indian scout. Here he still has the astrolabe that he lost on his explorations. and which gave its name to the nearby Astrolabe Amphitheatre, attractive setting for summer open-air concerts. Where the road crosses over the Rideau River and Green Island, look for Rideau Falls, pouring its double curtain (French rideau) of water into the Ottawa River. The windmill is part of a Renewable Energy Exhibit of methods of gathering solar and wind energy. For Canadians, 24 Sussex Drive has the same significance as 10 Downing Street for the British. This grey stone house hidden behind the greenery is the Canadian Prime Ministers residence. His neighborhood, in Rideau Hall just along the road (1 Sussex Drive), is the official residence of the monarchy, the governor general. Except on official occasions, the guards in appropriately British uniforms will usually let you drive or walk in to admire the sweeping stretch of lawns and gardenslook for the governors toboggan slide and skating rink. The drive then circles around the immaculate gardens and fine mansions of Rockcliffe Park. The parks driveway takes you out to the Rockcliffe Lookout for a spectacular view of the Ottawa River and the mouth of the Gatineau. In the Royal Canadian Mounted Police Barracks, at the north end of St. Laurent Boulevard, you can see some of the horses performing or training for the popular RCMP Musical Ride, the one occasion when the Mounties are still Mounties. Museums In its sparkling new premises on Sussex Drive opposite the Basilica of Notre-Dame, the National Gallery of Canada is the object of an enchanting half-day excursion. Designed by Moshe Safdie, famous for his Habitat homes in Montral, it houses the countrys best European collections, classical and modern, as well as the choicest works of Canadian artists. The airy glass-and-steel construction brings natural daylight flooding into the spectacular Great Hall and all the galleries. Facing Nepean Point Park is the terrace of the main restaurant, while a more casual lunchroom looks out onto the lovely garden of the neighboring War Museum. European Collections. Among the most important works from the 14th to the 18th centuries are Simone Martinis St. Catherine of Alexandria, Cranachs Venus, Hans Baldung Griens Eve, the Serpent and Death, Hans Memlings Virgin, Christ and St. Anthony, Bronzinos Portrait of a Man, Annibale Carraccis Vision of St. Francis, Poussins Landscape with a Woman Washing Her Feet, Rubens Entombment of Christ, Rembrandts Heroine from the Old Testament, and Chardins The Governess. The 19th-century exhibits include works by Turner, Constable, Pissarro, Monet, Dgas, and Czanne. Klimt and James Ensor provide the transition to the 20th century, well represented by Matisse, Picasso, Braque, and Francis Bacon. Contemporary Art. The collections in which American artists come to the fore present works by Jackson Pollock, Barnett Newman, Kenneth Noland, the Pop Art of James Rosenquist, Andy Warhol, and Claes Oldenburg, the Minimalist sculpture of Donald Judd and Dan Flavin, and Conceptualists such as Solo Lewitt and Joseph Kosuth. The most important of contemporary Canadians here include Guido Molinari, Yves Gaucher, and Michael Snow. Canadian Collections. Besides some classics of the 19th century evoking the life and landscapes of the early settlement, the best works are from Tom Thomson and the Group of Seven (see page 63). Look for Thomsons Jack Pine, A. Y. Jacksons Red Maple, Lawren Harriss North Shore, Lake Superior, murals by Thomson, Arthur Lismer, and J. E. H. MacDonald, and Emily Carrs Indian Hut, Queen Charlotte Islands. Inuit Art has some impressive sculpture, prints, and drawings from the 1950s and 1960s. The museum also houses the reconstructed Rideau Convent Chapel, a fine example of French-Canadian 19th-century architecture. The Photographs Collection covers the history of the art from William Henry Fox Talbot through Eugne Atget, Walker Evans, and August Sander to the contemporary work of Diane Arbus and Paul Diamond. The august Victoria Memorial Building at Metcalfe and McLeod Streets houses museums created with the treasures uncovered by the Geological Survey of 1841, predating the foundation of Canada itself. The survey went beyond geology and mineralogy to study the uncharted countrys paleontology and anthropology, its climate, forestry, and botany. In the National Museum of Natural Sciences in the east wing, the star attraction is Dinosaur Court, devoted to the 75,000,000-year-old beasts excavated in Alberta. The museum is a good place to look at the countrys rich wildlife as a primer to your own explorations of the Canadian forests and mountains. The National Museum of Science and Technology (1867 St. Laurent Boulevard) is in the style of science through fun and games. In Canadas largest museum, there are views of the heavens through a huge refracting telescope, do-it-yourself demonstrations of balance and optics, and a plastic bubble with live chicks hatching in front of your eyes. But with all the new-fangled razzmatazz, the museum hasnt forgotten the charm of mint-condition antique cars and, above all, old train enginesbehemoths from the great era of steam that truly made Canada. In a similar vein, the National Aviation Museum at Rockcliffe Airport traces the history of aviation through the early flying machines, bi- and triplanes, and the great fighters of two world wars. The exhibition includes the Silver Dart, the first plane flown in the British Empire, in 1909. A special place is reserved for the sturdy little bushplanes used to cover the wilderness. In all, about 100 aircraft are displayed in three World War II hangars. Many of the wartime planes take to the skies again on Annual Aeronautical Day, the second Sunday in June. The Canadian War Museum, 330 Sussex Drive, starts with Indian warfare, including the battle prizes of scalps and skulls, and ends with the Normandy D-Day landings in World War II. Field Marshal Grings armored Mercedes Benz makes a nice latter-day battle prize. Weapons range from Indian clubs and tomahawks to the longer-range guided missiles of todays armed forces. Outside the Currency Museum (Bank of Canada, 245 Sparks Street, between Kent and Lyon) is a three-ton stone coin from the Caroline Islands in the Pacific. The smaller stuff is inside, including the Indian currency of beads, wampum (black-and-white shells), and beaver pelts and blankets, as well as the more familiar coinage and paper currency from colonial to modern times. Gatineau Park Just a 20-minute drive across the Ottawa River into Qubec, and actually the most popular of excursions from the national capital, this 36,000-hectare (89,000-acre) park of lakes and woodland covers an escarpment with dramatic lookouts over the plains of the Ottawa Valley. Its named after the French hunter Nicolas Gatineau, who first explored it, and its evergreen and deciduous forests are still the home of an abundant wildlife. Go hiking or biking on well-planned nature trails (details can be obtained from the Old Chelsea Visitors Center). Besides swimming at five public beaches, you can rent canoes and rowboats for fishing on Philippe and La Pche lakes. Visit Kingsmere, the charming estate where William Lyon Mackenzie King spent his last years. As well as exploring the occulthe spoke to his departed mother through a crystal ballCanadas longest-serving Prime Minister liked to collect ruins on his many world travels. Among others, youll find in his gardens pieces of Londons House of Commons, brought back after the Blitz of World War II. Eastern Ontario The narrow arm of territory between Ottawa and the St. Lawrence River lies at the historic heart of Upper Canada. This was the home of early Loyalist settlers. Ships were built here to navigate the Great Lakes, and later it became the site for the key section of the St. Lawrence Seaway, linking Montral to Lake Ontario. Upper Canada Village Here, 86 km (53 miles) southeast of Ottawa, the two strands of the regions history come together in the meticulous recreation of a 19th-century pioneering village, perhaps the best of the countrys many historical showpieces. The homes of the regions first settlers had to be moved here, east of Morrisburg, when their original location was flooded in the digging of the St. Lawrence Seaway. Start your visit by climbing the small fort tower, from which you get an overall view. In a peaceful, green canalside setting disturbed only by perky Canada geese, notoriously loud honkers, youll find authentic pre-1867 buildings, from the simple timbered sawmill or old schoolhouse to the sophisticated brick-built Crysler Hall in the Palladian style favored by colonial land owners from Ontario to Alabama. Crysler was a farmer on whose land an important battle was fought in the War of 1812, marked by a monument beside the village. Period-costumed artisans demonstrate the crafts of the village: weaving, bread-baking, plowing, and sowing. In the colonial setting of Willards Hotel, you can enjoy a home-cooked hot meal or salad lunch. Kingston Beautifully located on Lake Ontario at the head of the St. Lawrence River, 180 km (108 miles) southwest of Ottawa, the town gets its charm more from its universities and silvery-grey historic houses than from its federal and provincial prisons. Originally a trading post for the French and native peoples, Kingston became a shipbuilding naval base in the War of 1812. Fort Henry, now spruced up by nicely enacted parades, was built in 1832 as the main military stronghold of Upper Canada. The fort never fired a shot in anger, but you can hear a few rifles and cannons blast off for the Ceremonial Retreat on Wednesday and Saturday evenings in July and August. For a few years in the 1840s, its location made Kingston capital of pre-Confederation Canada, and the sturdy, pillared City Hall with its lofty dome pays due homage to an illustrious past. Behind, on Market Square, the weekend market attracts the best of Ontarios fruit and vegetables and the most brazen of the local artists and musicians. Thousand Islands Reached most easily from Kingston, this archipelago of, in fact, 1,700 islands are strung out along the St. Lawrence River for nearly 80 km (48 miles). You can go fishing, sailing, or lie back and enjoy a luxury three-day cruise around the islands aboard the Empress steamboat. The island scenery is another painters delightthe dark green of the spruces and silver birches against grey-and-pink granite outcrops. Millionaires such as songwriter Irving Berlin and cosmetic queen Helena Rubinstein made this their playground with hideaway mansions known as cottages. One that escapes that euphemism is Boldts Castle, the kind of Gothic folly that magnates liked to dabble in earlier this century. In this case, it was George Boldt, the German owner of New Yorks Waldorf-Astoria Hotel. He built it for his wife but she died before it was finished, and it was abandoned as a vast empty fortress, like those that Boldt admired in similar splendid ruin back home in the Rhine Valley. QUEBEC Ifoh, happy dreamall the old ethnic rivalries could be set aside, most Canadians would acknowledge that Qubec is not only the original Canada of the first European settlement, but also the province that most comprehensively encompasses within its borders the worlds image of this huge country. To begin with, it is itself huge: It could contain, according to your taste, three Frances or seven Britains. Most of ittwo-thirds of the areais forest. The north is coniferous, serving the provinces important pulp and paper industry, and the south is deciduous, with the maple of the national flag providing delicious syrup, and the ash, oak, and beech that blaze into crimson, amber, and gold in autumn. There arent as many beavers as in the great days of the fur trade, but still enough to fell a few trees around the resort cottages in the Laurentian Mountains north of Montral. Deer and moose abound for the hunters; farther north there are herds of caribou, and, up towards the Arctic Circle, a few polar bears, too. Where its not forest, city, or the farmland established by the habitants of the St. Lawrence Valley and the Eastern Township Loyalists, its water, water everywhere. The mighty St. Lawrence River and Seaway link the Atlantic Ocean to the Great Lakes. Gigantic dams harness the waters hydroelectric power north on James Bay, and east on the Manicouagan River. Lakes and streams shimmer with salmon, trout, eel, and pike. As you travel from bilingual Montral to New Frances old capital Qubec City and the resolutely French-speaking farm villages along the St. Lawrence and around the Gasp Peninsula, have a thought for local patriotic sensibility. The Qubcois can justly claim to be cofounders of the Canadian nation. Abandoned by what many still call the damned French (maudits franais), they felt that they alone had earned the name of canadiens, and that their British conquerors usurped it. As a tribute to their own past courage, there is both pride and resentment in the Qubcois motto Je me souviens (I Remember). It was they who made the first and hardiest effort to hew a modern living out of this hard land. Like colonials everywhere, their missionaries sometimes brought more religion, their traders more alcohol, and their soldiers more guns than the natives really needed. But the Qubcois understood the importance of learning from the native peoples how best to handle the Canadian wilderness. Fur-trading coureurs de bois settled down with Indian wives, and today more than a few Qubcois proudly trace their ancestry back to native peoples with a tell-tale birthmark on the hip, high cheekbones, or long sleek black hair. Outside Montral, you cant assume everyone speaks English. Many make it a point of pride not to, until youve at least paid them the courtesy of a Bonjour. By Qubec provincial law, public signs are all in French, and so we will often give you here, beside the English names, the French version as it appears on maps and signposts. Montral This great metropolis, Qubecs largest city with 3.1 million inhabitants, is built on an island at the confluence of the Ottawa and St. Lawrence rivers. Second in population now to Toronto, it remains a sprawling city of cosmopolitan neighborhoods, each a delight to stroll around but best reached by taxi, bus, or the excellent Mtro, where the trains whoosh along on rubber tires. Given the daytime traffic snarls and usual big-city parking problems, use your car only for out-of-town trips. Mount Royal For an overall view of the city, start with a bracing walk up the slopes of the charming Mount Royal Park (Parc du Mont-Royal). Follow the footpath and stairs from the end of Peel Street or a shorter route from the Chemin Remembrance car park. Perhaps the most pleasant way is to take a leisurely ride in a horse-drawn carriage from Dominion Square. Known with characteristic local irony as la Montagne (the Mountain), the heights were spotted by Jacques Cartier on his historic journey up the St. Lawrence River in 1535, and named Mont Ral in homage to his king Franois I. From the massive timber and stone Chalet de la Montagne or the steel cross at the summit (illuminated at night), you can look out over the river flowing from the Lac des Deux Montagnes past the city on its northeasterly journey to the Atlantic. Montralers conveniently twist the compass by considering the St. Lawrence as south of the city; the roads parallel to the river are divided into east and west sectors by the Boulevard St-Laurent. Down by the port are the low stone buildings of Old Montral (Vieux Montral). The concrete, steel, and glass towers of the modern city cluster around Boulevard Ren Lvesque, which runs parallel to the river. At the far end, Jacques-Cartier Bridge links Montral Island to the Expo 67 site on St. Helens Island (Ile Ste-Hlne) and over to the southern shore. Victoria Bridge spans the St. Lawrence to the south. Southwest of Mount Royal, on the slopes of the smaller hill of Westmount, are the grand villas and mansions of Montrals old Anglo-Canadian lite. North and west of the park are many of the citys ethnic neighborhoods and the chic French-speaking township of Outremont. On the clearest days, you may spot the Laurentian Mountains to the northeast and the Green Mountains across the U.S. border in Vermont. Landscaped by Frederick Law Olmsted, designer of New Yorks Central Park, Mount Royal is a popular refuge from the city bustle, the place for picnics in the summer and tobogganing and skiing in the winter, with the little Beaver Lake (Lac des Castors) for sailing model boats (or skating). A stroll around the lake is the perfect way to capture a sense of the towns ethnic diversity. On the park benches, you may hear gossip not only in French and English, but Italian, Greek, Yiddish, and Russian. Old Montral Between rue St-Antoine and the port and flanked by rue McGill and rue Berri, this is the site of Maisonneuves original settlement of Ville-Marie (Mtro Champ-de-Mars). All but a few stones of the 18th-century city ramparts have gone, but many historic houses have been restored to evoke some of the flavor of New France. The colorful, tree-lined Place Jacques-Cartier makes a good point from which to start a walking tour (or a riding tour in a horse-drawn calche available here for hire). An itinerary can be mapped out over coffee at one of the many pleasant sidewalk cafs. Once a fruit and vegetable market, the cobblestone square remains a favorite venue for flower-vendors and itinerant artists. The old stone buildings were designed to beat the harsh winters with distintive, tall, steep-sloping roofs to keep the weighty snow and ice from accumulating. Across the rue Notre-Dame, the 19th-century Htel de Ville (City Hall) is built in the imposing style of the French Renaissance. It was from the balcony beneath the clock in 1967 that General de Gaulle delivered his incendiary cry of Vive le Qubec libre!, warming the hearts of local separatists. The general was not intimidated by the statue of Lord Horatio Nelson watching him from the top of Place Jacques-Cartier. Montrals oldest monument was somewhat provocatively erected in 1809, just four years after the British admirals devastating defeat of the French at Trafalgar. Diagonally opposite the Htel de Ville on rue Notre-Dame, the Chteau Ramezay was home of the French governor Claude de Ramezay from 1705 to 1724. It passed successively into the hands of the French West Indies Trading Company (to store its spices), the British, and, during their brief occupation of the city in 1775, the American generals Richard Montgomery and Benedict Arnold. Benjamin Franklin stayed here during his fruitless attempt to win Qubec over to the American cause. After years of neglect, the chteau has been restored and transformed into a museum showing a more comfortable side of frontier life in New France: elegant 18th-century furnishings, a grand colonial kitchen in the basement, and the nice added touch of magnificent carved mahogany paneling imported from the old trading companys French offices. Iroquois clothes and artifacts give a hint of life outside the stockade. The rue Bonsecours is one of the principal historic residential streets leading from rue Notre-Dame towards the Vieux Port (Old Port). The Maison Papineau (Number 440), distinguished by its double row of gabled garrets in the roof, dates back to 1785. It is the family home of the controversial 19th-century politician Louis-Joseph Papineau, leader of the militant patriotes but also cautious protector of his seigneurial property (see page 19). In 1837, the house nearly burned down in a violent riot, and British soldiers had to come to Papineaus rescue. He fled to the countryside and did not take part in the subsequent insurrection. On the corner of rue St-Paul, the older Maison du Calvet was built in 1725 by a prominent Huguenot merchant. As a Protestant, Pierre du Calvet was appointed by the British justice of the peace but then ended up in jail himself for selling supplies and information to the American invaders. With its broad chimney, fine-grained limestone frames around the doors, and gracefully tapered casement windows, the house is one of the more handsome architectural specimens of the French colonial era. The sturdy interior of wide, rough-hewn floorboards and massive pinewood roofbeams is fitted out from the Montral Museum of Fine Arts with antique Qubec furniture, rugs, lanterns, clocks, and porcelain appropriate to the life of a wealthy 18th-century businessman. A framed copy of the bilingual Qubec Gazette, dating from 1786, suggests that colonials of the New World had an uncommon interest in the more arcane news of international events in the Old World, such as Turkeys troubles with Venice or the quarrels of the Dutch royal family. Since 1772, the church of Notre-Dame-de-Bonsecours, 400 rue Saint-Paul Est, has stood on the site of a chapel that was built for the colonys first schoolteacher, Marguerite Bourgeois, but destroyed by fire. She and three young woman companions brought a civilizing influence to the harshness of the beleaguered settlement. Acting as both teachers and nurses, they also took charge of marriageable girls known as the filles du Roi, the Kings daughters. The filles du Roi were in fact daughters of peasants and poor artisans, shipped over from France as wives for bachelor farmers and fur traders. In the 19th century, Notre-Dame-de-Bonsecours became the Sailors Chapel, to which survivors of shipwrecks brought model ships they had carved as offerings of thanksgiving. The models still hang from the ceiling, lit up now by tiny electric bulbs. Notice how the trompe loeil painting on the low arched ceiling aspires to turn the little church into a lofty Gothic cathedral. Climb the church tower for a good view of Vieux Montral and the harbor. Most of the ugly old warehouses have been demolished along the Vieux Port at the foot of Place Jacques-Cartier. Some have been refurbished as cafs or hotels; one pier now houses the headquarters for the Cirque du Soleil, another an IMAX theater. Take a walk along the port to Pointe Callires, where the Ville-Marie settlers first landed. An obelisk on the nearby Place Royale commemorates their adventure. The statue at the Pointe is of an Anglo-Canadian, John Young, who developed the ports commerce in the 19th century. The rue St-Sulpice takes you over the Place dArmes, close to the site of the first French battles with the Iroquois. Today it serves as a visual link between the historic old town of the pioneers and the new city of commerce and industry. In the middle is a statue of Maisonneuve, looking very like one of Alexandre Dumas musketeers. Hes brandishing the royal French fleur-de-lys flag that inspired the Qubec provincial flag of today. The 19th-century Neo-Gothic Notre-Dame Basilica was designed by James ODonell, an Irish Protestant New Yorker so inspired by his assignment that he converted to Catholicism. It once took 12 men to ring the great bell in the west tower, a task now accomplished with electricity. The garishly opulent interior was the work of a Qubcois, Victor Bourgeau. Our Lady of the Sacred Heart Chapel, behind the main altar, unites modern and traditional religious art in a more intimate setting for marriages and memorial services. A little museum displays church sculpture and painting, notably some almost surreal works by Pierre-Adolphe-Arthur Guindon, a Sulpician monk. Next to the church is the Seminary of St-Sulpice, Montrals oldest surviving edifice, built in 1685 to lead the missionary work among the Iroquois. It also boasts North Americas oldest public clock (1710). The Place dArmes is enclosed on three sides by modern buildings, including the huge Post Office tower, while opposite Notre-Dame stands the venerable Bank of Montral (1847). The black marble and brass of its monumental entrance hall impose a pious appreciation of Canadas oldest banking institution. The statue of Patria is dedicated to the fallen of World War I. Take a peek, too, around the grand Exchange Room, awe-inspiring relic of the days when Canadian money was in the hands of august gentlemen, before they handed it over to those slick young Golden Boys of Toronto. A little banking museum shows the way it used to be, complete with a tellers window in the style of the banks foundation in 1817. Back down by the river, Place dYouville, named after a lady who established here the charitable order of the Grey Nuns, offers a quieter, more romantic end to your tour of Vieux Montral. The Youville Stables (Ecuries dYouville) are an enchanting collection of early 19th-century grey-stone gabled buildings now containing restaurants and offices looking out onto a peaceful garden. The U-shaped courtyard makes a lovely setting for open-air plays and recitals in the summer. The stables were in fact nothing more romantic than a warehouse, but they did for a time serve as a garage for horse-carriages. Next to the stables is an old red-brick fire station transformed into the Montral History Center (Centre dhistoire de Montral), presenting an audiovisual documentary history of the city. Downtown The nucleus of downtown Montral is located between Boulevard Ren Lvesque and Sherbrooke Street running parallel to the river, bounded by Guy and St-Denis Streets. It is best characterized by its bold new office skyscrapers, cultural complexes, and shopping centers, crowding in on a die-hard bunch of old churches, museums, and all-night delicatessens. Start at Square Dorchester, where the horse-drawn calches wait (they are also rather nicely known as hippomobiles). Artists and flower vendors sell their wares around Henry Moores sculpture Reclining Nude and more austere statues of Scottish poet Robert Burns and Canadian Prime Ministers Wilfrid Laurier and John MacDonald. The Sun Life skyscraper, built in 1933, is the citys oldest. Theres a summer city tourist information kiosk on the south side of the square and a year-round office north of the square at 1010 rue Ste-Catherine Ouest. Northeast along Boulevard Ren Lvesque is the Roman-Catholic cathedral of Montral, something of a visual oddity, at least for European visitors. The cathedral of Marie-Reine-du-Monde (Mary, Queen of the World) is a 19th-century half-size replica of St. Peters Basilica in Rome. Half-size but still massive enoughinside, the nave is 109 m (328 ft) long, the transept is 73 m (220 ft) long, and the vault of the dome is 83 m (250 ft) high. Beneath that dome, over the high altar, is another replica of St. Peters: Berninis celebrated gilded bronze canopy. Unfortunately, there is nothing to match Berninis great square to give you a proper perspective, and the church is dwarfed by the huge Queen Elizabeth Hotel and the Sun Life skyscraper. The new gigantism continues with Place Ville-Marie (1962), dominated by the other side of the Queen Elizabeth, Canadian National Railways Central Station, and the soaring Royal Bank building, an intersecting cross-shaped tower designed by I.M. Pei. The Qubec provincial tourist information office is at the northern corner of the square, near the intersection of Peel and St. Catherine Street West. But Place Ville-Marie is, above all, the starting point of Montrals vast underground city, which acts as an ecological punchline to the joke of a Qubec winter. In self-defense against five or six months of ice, snow, and slush, 500,000 pedestrians frequent a complete alternative city of shops, cinemas, nightclubs, restaurants, and cafs. Hotel residents can spend a whole night out on the town in the winter months without overcoat or galoshes. And its almost as popular on a sweltering day in July. Some 30 km (15 miles) of subterranean galleries (linked by Mtro) stretch across the city, taking in Place Ville-Marie and Place Bonaventure, Les Terrasses, Place des Arts, and Complexe Desjardins, and even passing under the St. Lawrence River to the suburb of Longueuil on the south shore. Above ground, rue Ste-Catherine is the citys main shopping thoroughfaredepartment stores, cinemas, travel agencies, delicatessens, and barsmore popular than chic, but always lively. At the corner of University Street the Anglican cathedral of Christ Church (1859) is a classic piece of elegant English Gothictake a look inside at the fine stone sculpture on the high altar. Crescent Street, with neighboring Mountain (Montagne) and Bishop Streets, is one of Montrals more fashionable boutique and bistro areas. The Victorian stone row houses have escaped demolition and have been lovingly refurbished and brightly painted for conversion into off-beat shops, art galleries, and bars for the singles crowd. These rejuveniated buildings make an appropriate transition from Ste-Catherine to the elegance of Sherbrooke Street. With the Museum of Fine Arts (see page 105) near the intersection of Crescent Street, Sherbrooke is the towns main gallery row, where high-priced antiques, jewelry, silverware, and Oriental carpet shops mingle. Even if youre not staying here, the ritzy Ritz-Carlton Hotel makes a fine rendezvous for a restful or bracing cocktail in mid-sightseeing. Opposite the McCord Museum of local history (see page 106), McGill University is Montrals internationally renowned English-speaking university. Founded in the early 19th century by a Scottish fur trader, James McGill, and especially respected for its engineering and medicine faculties, it has a student enrollment of 15,000. In 1969, Qubcois separatists staged violent but unsuccessful demonstrations to have it transformed into a French-speaking institution. (The citys other English-speaking college is Concordia while the Universit de Montral and the Universit du Qubec Montral are both French-speaking). Between Maisonneuve and R. Lvesque boulevards, art and commerce come together at the Place des Arts and Complexe Desjardins. The modern cultural center is comprised of a concert hall, two theaters, and a recital room for chamber music. At the Salle Wilfrid-Pelletier, 175 rue Ste-Catherine Ouest, home of the Montral Symphony Orchestra, the elegant tone of the whole complex is set in the foyer decorated with Aubusson tapestries and sculptures in bronze, mahogany, aluminum, and ceramics. Notice above the concert hall doors the soapstone carvings of the Inuit sculptor Yununkpuk. Across rue Ste-Catherine, you pass through the imposing glass portals of the attractive multilevel shopping center of Complexe Desjardins, opened in 1976 during the grand building spree of the Montral Olympic Games. Montrals Neighborhoods From a local point of view, Vieux Montral is a tourist attraction for the landmarks of the citys historical beginnings, while downtown is for business and special nights out. But the real color and spice of the peoples everyday life is to be found in their neighborhoods. And youll find in the architecture the missing links between the French-inspired homes of Vieux Montral and the international anonymity of the city centers 20th-century skyscrapers. While the bourgeoisies red-brick or stone houses are clearly inspired by Georgian and Victorian London and grander residences by the country houses and chteaux of continental Europe, the working-class row houses with outside iron staircases leading to upper floors (thus saving space inside) are a more characteristic Montral feature. Almost a neighborhood all to itself, Boulevard St-Laurent used to mark the border between the Anglo-Canadians to the west and the French-Canadians to the east. Anglos call it the Main and French-Canadians make a niceand rarecompromise with la Main. The neighborhood lines have blurred in recent years, but the Main stays appropriately neutral, a veritable United Nations of Portuguese, Italian, Greek, Spanish, Polish, Jewish, Arab, and Japanese specialty shops, grocery stores, delicatessens, and cafs. Gourmets make a special pilgrimage down a little side-street to Waldmans fish market. French-speaking students from the Universit du Qubec Montral meet in cafs, bistros, and bookshops along rue St-Denis. Here and around the tree-shaded Square St-Louis, nicely restored or equally nicely battered Victorian gingerbread mansions and iron-staircased row houses fight a picturesque rear-guard action against the encroachment of the modern red-brick blocks of the university. At the West End of the square, rue Prince-Arthur has been transformed into a pleasant tile-paved pedestrian mall of boutiques and restaurants. The street is also one of the towns livelier night-time hangouts for jazz and folk music. Boulevard St-Laurent below Lvesque, squeezed out by the urban redevelopment around the Complexe Guy-Favreau and Palais des Congrs, the compact little Chinatown huddles into a six-block area around rue de la Gauchetire. Some of its residents are descendants of the valiant laborers who helped build the Canadian Pacific Railway. Seek out Montrals Little Italy north of Mount Royal around the Jean-Talon Market on the Place du March du Nord (Mtro Jean-Talon). The best trattorias in town are here, blessedly not the most expensive. The raucous market gives a distinctively Italian flavor to the fruit and vegetables of the Qubec countryside. The Greeks, some 50,000 strong, have mostly chosen the area around the Avenue du Parc, east of Outremont, for their cafs and tavernas. With second- and third-generation prosperity, most of the Jews have moved on from the rue St-Urbain neighborhood made famous by the writings of Mordecai Richler (The Apprenticeship of Duddy Kravitz) to make way gradually for an equally colorful Portuguese community. A nearby monument of Jewish folklore that no amount of urban upheavals can seem to budge is the ever-crowded Schwartzs Delicatessen (officially called Montral Hebrew Delicatessen) located at 3895 Boulevard St-Laurent. Assimilating more easily with the Anglo communityonly Protestant schools accepted their childrenEastern European Jews have graduated to wealthy Westmount or emigrated, again, to Toronto. French-speaking Jews, more recent arrivals from North Africa, have settled in middle-class Outremont. On the north side of Mount Royal, beyond the Chemin de la Cte-Ste-Catherine, the handsome villas of Outremont make up the favored neighborhood of the French-Canadian bourgeoisie, in fact an independent township situated within Montrals city borders. Originally an Anglo stronghold, part of it is still known even among French speakers as Upper-Outremont, family home of that splendidly ambiguous French-Canadian, prime minister Pierre Elliott Trudeau. The lower part of this independent township has a breezy street-life, especially among the sidewalk cafs on rue Bernard. And where have all the Anglos gone? Many of the upper-middle-class variety are holding out in Westmount. This bastion of the old Montral lite of British origin became a prime target for the more violent members of the separatist Front de libration du Qubec, who in the 1960s set off bombs in Westmounts mailboxes. Those not put off by this can still be seen in tweeds and cavalry twill, walking their dogs around Summit Park, where the Belvedere affords a fine view of the city. Head for the tree-lined Summit Road, Summit Crescent, and Summit Circle and youll spot their ivy-covered mansions and grey-stone turreted chteaux half-concealed behind trees and shrubbery at the top of a grassy slope. The architecture here is a wonderful compendium of French Romanesque, German Gothic, and Italian Renaissance. Westmount Square gives you a sharp but not inelegant jolt back into the 20th century, with the black steel and glass office buildings of Mies van der Rohe. Dominating the skyline beyond Westmount on the Cte-des-Neiges, St. Josephs Oratory (Oratoire St-Joseph) receives up to 2 million Catholic pilgrims each year. The huge sanctuary, which holds 13,000 worshippers, commemorates the healing powers of Brother Andr. Born Alfred Bessette in 1845, one of a poor Qubcois family of 12 children, Brother Andr was gatekeeper at the monastic Congregation of the Holy Cross. He administered to the sick in a small wooden chapel that he himself erected; it is still standing near the transept of the present oratory. Over a million faithful attended his funeral in 1937. His tomb is in the crypt. The best time to enjoy the bright and airy simplicity of the oratorys modern interior is at the Sunday afternoon organ recitals. Olympic Park Situated east of downtown opposite Maisonneuve Park (Mtro Pie-IX), the impressive complex of sports facilities built specifically for the 1976 Olympic Games is an eloquent monument to the visions of grandeur that characterized Mayor Jean Drapeau. After the sweeping (some would say devastating) downtown redevelopment and the ambitious construction on the St. Lawrence River for Expo 67, the Olympic Park was to be the apotheosis of his new Montral. As you can see on one of the daily guided tours through Olympic Park, the result is as grandiose in design as it has been ruinous in cost, to the continuing chagrin of local taxpayers with long memories and short bank balances. Centerpiece is the mammoth Olympic Stadium, seating 70,000 spectators for the home games of the Montral Expos baseball team and rocknroll concerts. One of the most popular facilities is the Vlodrome, with a redwood track for cycling and roller-skating around a central arena for boxing, wrestling, and basketball, with ice-skating in winter. (Montrals legendary ice hockey team, the Canadiens, plays at the other end of town at the Molson Centre, a new arena near Place Bonaventure.) Beside the Olympic Park across Sherbrooke Street are the citys Botanical Gardens at 4101 Sherbrooke East. This delightful oasis of greenery boasts some 26,000 species of plants and trees from all over the world, lovingly tended to resist the rigors of the Qubec climate. A miniature railway takes you around the gardens. Among the highlights are magnificent orchids and cacti in the greenhouses and an exquisite arboretum of Japanese bonsai. St. Lawrence River After years of hiding the river behind a bleak expanse of warehouses, factories, and railway tracks, Montral has opened up its waterfront, more recently with the music festivals and flea market of the Vieux Port, but largely at the earlier instigation of that much maligned Mayor Drapeau. Expo 67 provided the major breakthrough with the choice of the rivers Ile Ste-Hlne as the principal site for the international pavilions. The former U.S. pavilion has been converted into the Biosphere, an ecology-oriented museum. Two other buildings house a new casino. The fun and adventure of the Worlds Fair are perpetuated with outdoor concerts, exhibits, and films on ecology, urban life, Canadian history, and the technology of the future. In the middle of the island, close to where the French army burned its flags in Montrals military capitulation to the British in 1760, the D.M. Stewart Museum is a restoration of the fort commissioned by the Duke of Wellington 60 years later. The military drills and parades staged here in the summer by uniformed students pay appropriate homage to both French and British (more precisely, the Scots Highlander) tradition. The forts Military and Maritime Museum displays ship models, maps, navigational instruments, and Canadas weapons and uniforms from the 17th century to World War II. Beyond Jacques Cartier Bridge, La Ronde amusement park plays every imaginable ultramodern variation on the swings and roundabouts of a country fair. Put the kids on the Gyrotron whirligig or Aquapark waterslide and watch (or forget about them) from the beer garden. The closest Montral can take you to the tropics is among its exotic fish in the Aquarium on the other side of Dolphin Lake (Lac des Dauphins) from the waterslide park. A bridge (leading from the Ste-Hlne Mtro station) crosses over to the Ile Notre-Dame. This artificial island built from landfill dredged for canal construction has been embellished by Les Floralies flower park in the center of a circuit for Grand Prix motor racing. On the islands southern tip, beyond the Victoria Bridge, you can climb an observation tower for a view of the highly impressive St. Lambert Lock, a key point on the great St. Lawrence Seaway. From the Cit du Havre north of Victoria Bridge, the controversial apartment complex of Habitat, designed by the Israeli-born architect Moshe Safdie for Expo 67, provides residents with a grandstand view of the river and its islands. What looks to some like the aftermath of a childs tantrum among its building blocks is on closer inspection an artful composition of 354 precast concrete boxes (originally hoisted into place by crane) to create 158 homes of various sizes and combinations. To see the river from the river, take a harbor cruise from Quai Victoria, the northern most wharf in Vieux Montral, at the foot of rue Berri. For the more sporting breed, rafting expeditions also start out from Quai Victoria to shoot the famous Lachine Rapids. You can also rent a bicycle for a pleasant ride along the Lachine Canal, dug in 1825 and deepened for the seaway in 1959. In winter, it makes a great skating rink. Museums Among the most important of Montrals many museums is its Museum of Fine Arts (Muse des Beaux Arts), 1380 Sherbrooke Street West. It has an honorable collection of European artists, including El Greco, Rubens, Hans Memling, Cranach, and Poussin, and the British 18th-century masters Reynolds, Gainsborough, Raeburn, Romney, and Hogarth. The moderns include Picasso and Giacometti. But its worth devoting most of your time here to the excellent Canadian galleries. In the 19th-century section, look for the imposing, if rather severe, classical portraits of Antoine-Sbastien Plamondon (18021895) and the markedly gentler works of his Qubcois student and rival Thophile Hamel (18171870). Mah-Min or The Feather is a dramatic study of an Assiniboine Indian chief in Manitoba by Paul Kane (18101871). This Torontonian born in County Cork, Ireland, traveled all over the continent to gather a visual record, at times somewhat romanticized, of Canadas native peoples. His contemporary, Amsterdam-born Cornelius Krieghoff (18151872), concentrated on the Qubec peasantry and landscapes, as you can see here with his striking Montmorency Falls in Winter. The dazzling Village Street, West Indies, by Montrals James Wilson Morrice (18651924), is a fine work by this most celebrated of Canadas expatriate painters. A friend of Matisse, he worked principally in Europe and North Africa. Tom Thomson, the Group of Seven, and Emily Carr all have major works here. But of the moderns, the most significant represented is Paul-Emile Borduas (19051960). His Les signes senvolent and Ltoile noire are stark, disturbing abstracts by a man who began his career as a painter of church murals and stained glass. Rebelling against conservative religion under the dual influences of surrealism and psychoanalysis, Borduas led the school of Qubec Automatistes, represented here with outstanding works by Jean-Paul Riopelle, born in 1923. The Museum of Contemporary Art (Muse dArt Contemporain), 185 rue Ste-Catherine, houses a stunning collection of works by Canadian and international artists. The small but tastefully designed McCord Museum (690 Sherbrooke Street West) provides some fascinating insights into Canadian lifeInuit and Indian as well as the world of the fur trader and other pioneers of the 18th and 19th centuries. Dominated by a totem pole from British Columbia, the exhibits include costumes, artifacts, paintings, drawings, and magnificent old photographs from the William Notman archives (said to contain 45,000 prints and negatives). The Museum of Decorative Arts (Muse des arts dcoratifs) is housed in the 20th-century Chteau Dufresne (corner of Sherbrooke and Boulevard Pie-IX at 2200 rue Crescent). More palazzo than chteau, with its frescoes and reinforced concrete columns clad in Italian marble, the museum is devoted principally to international modern design in ceramics, glass, and textiles from 1940 to the present day. Train enthusiasts should head out to the Canadian Railway Museum in the southern suburb of St-Constant, 122A rue St-Pierre. Ride an old tram to the country station where the sheds display historic train engines of the Canadian Pacific and the luxury private coach of William Van Horne, the man who master-minded the building of C.P.R.s transcontinental railway. On Sundays, you can take a ride in one of the old steam trains. Eastern Townships Stretching to the border with the U.S. states of Vermont and New Hampshire, this pleasant region of farmland and orchards was settled at the end of the 18th century by Loyalist refugees from the American Revolution. Theres a distinctly New England flavor to the architecture of white clapboard houses in a landscape of rolling hills, green meadows, and lakes, but the population is today overwhelmingly French-speaking. Tourist offices have tried to rename the area LEstrie, but even the most militant Qubcois prefer the customary direct, if approximate, translation of the English: Cantons de lEst. East on Motorway 10, a tour of the region makes an easy day trip out of Montral, but you may well choose to stay longer for a restful boat cruise, picnic, or ramble, taking advantage of the many delightful old-fashioned country inns and restaurants using the excellent local farm produce. Popular with the sailing and windsurfing fraternity, Lake Brome and the sleepy town of Knowlton make a pleasant first stop. To see what the farmers are up to, head over on Saturday mornings to the market in Sutton. Take a leisurely boat cruise on Lake Memphremagog (Beautiful Waters), the regions largest, stretching across the border into Vermont. At St-Benot-du-Lac, look for the graceful Neo-Gothic grey-stone silhouette of the Benedictine abbey, much appreciated for the monks Gregorian chant. The monks also make and sell some fine cheesesan Italian-style ricotta, blue Ermite, and the Mont St-Benot, great with the apples they grow in their orchard. Farther east, youll find the most characteristic New England atmosphere around Lake Massawippi, particularly in North Hatley, where 19th-century colonial mansions have been converted into elegant inns. The town has some good antiques shops. In summer, The Piggery provides a home for one of the regions last surviving English-language theaters. Thanks to its situation in a sheltered valley, North Hatley enjoys a particularly pleasant microclimate that attracts hummingbirds and flora indicative of more southern climes. At Coaticook, hikers and picnickers head for the wooded ravines along the Coaticook River. In August, the town stages a milk festival with the cows (and some of the milkmaids) dressed in fancy summer bonnets. The great attraction at Cookshire is the June bread festival. The Laurentians The densely forested, rolling mountain range that the Qubcois call les Laurentides constitutes a favorite summer and winter playground for the people of Montral. Swimming, sailing, canoeing, waterskiing, fishing, hiking, horseback-riding, golfthe list of summer pleasures is endless. In winter, the skating and skiing, downhill and cross-country, are the best in eastern Canada. And the landscape is a pure joy, with long, narrow glacial lakes fed by cold streams gurgling down the granite mountain slopes of yellow birch, beech, sugar maple, and fir. The virgin forests were long a refuge for Algonquin Indians fleeing the Iroquois. The Qubcois began to settle here in any great numbers only in the second half of the 19th century, when an enterprising curate, Antoine Labelle of St-Jrme, promoted it as an alternative for peasants who were otherwise immigrating to New England. This southeastern edge of the great Canadian Shield proved poor farm country and difficult to exploit for logging, but it really came into its own in the 20th century with the development of tourism. In addition to local Montralers, it attracts steady traffic from New England. The heart of the resort area is within an easy 90-minute to 2-hour drive from the city for a weekend or longer stay. Motorway 15 northwest from Montral, then Highway 117 take you into forested foothills immediately beyond the metropolis. Just 70 km (42 miles) from the city, St-Sauveur-des-Monts makes a charming spot to stop for lunch on one of the roadside flowered terraces. In winter, the resort is popular for its floodlit nightskiing. Ste-Adle on the shores of Lac Rond is a favorite with painters and their groupies. The towns Village de Sraphin recaptures the atmosphere of life in the Laurentians in the 1880s. Probably the liveliest resort in the area is Ste-Agathe-des-Monts. It boasts plenty of good restaurants and folksong bars (botes chansons), and a famous summer theater, Le Patriote. Night owls overcome their hangover with a stroll or boat cruise around the Lac des Sables. The full natural beauty of the Laurentians is best appreciated in Mont-Tremblant Provincial Park. Rent a canoe or kayak to explore some of the 500 lakes and rivers that sparkle across an area of 1,500 sq. km (579 square miles). It was the rush of those streams that inspired the Algonquin name Manitonga Sontana, Mountain of the Trembling Spirit, emitting its muffled boom when man disturbed its peace. Mont-Tremblants 1,058-m (3,175-ft) Johannsen peak is the highest in the Laurentians. At the St-Donat reception center or other entry points to the park, youll find detailed maps of self-guiding nature trails with signposts describing the forests flora and fauna. The park also provides forest guides for group tours. The parks wildlife, even more abundant in the Rouge-Matawin Nature Reserve to the north, includes moose, deer, black bear, otter, mink, muskrat, fox, and beaver. Birdwatchers may spot grouse, loon, heron, finches, and warblers, while anglers can hope to catch speckled and lake trout, pike, bass, and walleye. Qubec City Whereas Montral has become increasingly Americanized, the provincial capital remains unmistakably, even defiantly Qubcois, if not downright French. Its difficult to miss, in this proud cradle of New France, that the town is borrowing a leaf from the book of the modern French republic by calling its provincial parliament the Assemble Nationale. Only one percent of the population of 664,000 do not speak French. The historic center of the city has something of the atmosphere of Frances Atlantic port towns in the neighborhood down by the St. Lawrence River, while the streets and squares up on the promontory offer North Americans a first hint of Pariss Latin Quarter or even Montmartre. Certainly its a town for that most Parisian of creatures, the flneur, or stroller, wandering at leisure through narrow back streets, paying due homage to the monuments of Qubec Citys past triumphs and tribulations, but even more alert to the colors and smells of the living present. Qubec is said to be derived from an Algonquin word meaning where the river narrows, and this becomes most apparent when you see the citys great outcrop of rock, jutting out over the St. Lawrence. It was named Cap Diamant, after the shiny stones that Jacques Cartier mistook for diamonds (see page 14). Thus, the city dominated river traffic and prospered from a flourishing trade in fur, lumber, shipbuilding, tanneries, furniture, and textiles. Modern shipping and the advent of the railways crippled its port activities, and the city now lives from the service industries of tourism and provincial government administration. For the best view of the citys spectacular location, cross over to the St. Lawrence Rivers south bank and take the ferry (traversier) from the suburb of Lvis. Otherwise head through the airy but unexceptional modern city to the historic center of Old Qubec, where the fortified Upper and Lower Town stand at the top and bottom of Cap Diamant, linked by a steep road and funicular railway. Apart from the Citadel and Battlefields Park, every sight worth seeing is within easy walking distance, though you may like to try a 45-minute ride in a horse-drawn calche (from the Parc de lEsplanade). Upper Town Start on top of the rock, where the citys principal landmark is a hotel, the Chteau Frontenac, looming over the town since 1892 like the protective fortress it no longer needs. Because of its dramatic location and the fairytale turrets of its Gothic-Renaissance architecture, the Frontenac is one of the most charmingly bombastic of all the many grand hotels that the Canadian Pacific and Canadian National railways put up across the country as symbols of their commercial power. It is named after Count Louis de Frontenac, a rascally 17th-century French governor who upset the clergy by encouraging the sale of brandy to the native peoples. Take a look inside at the stucco carvings, tapestries, and handsome wood paneling. Behind the hotel, beyond an 1898 statue of Samuel de Champlain, the citys founder, Dufferin Terrace offers a magnificent view over the St. Lawrence and downriver to the Ile dOrlans. Stroll alongside a pleasant little garden, Parc des Gouverneurs, with its obelisk paying tribute to Generals Wolfe and Montcalm, both killed at the great battle for Qubec in 1759. The terrace is prolonged by the Promenade des Gouverneurs, continuing the walk along the foot of the citadel towards Battlefields Park. North of the Frontenac, Place dArmes is the center of Old Qubec, where troops were mustered and paraded, proclamations read out, criminals whipped or executed. In the middle, the Monument of Faith (Monument de la Foi) commemorates the work of French Catholic missionaries in North America. On the north side of the square, the Muse du Fort, 10 rue Ste-Anne, stages a sound and light show alternately in English and French on the military history of Qubec City. Artists gather in the narrow rue du Trsor at the northwest corner of the Place dArmes to display their works or paint your portrait. The street leads into the citys Latin Quarter, with a quite Parisian air to the 18th-century houses, cafs, and bookshops around rue Couillard, rue St-Flavien, and rue Hbert. The neighborhoods Latin derives from the scholarship of a Seminary, rue de lUniversit, founded in 1663 by the first bishop of Qubec, Franois de Montmorency Laval. In the summer, open-air concerts are held in the courtyard. In the Muse du Sminaire, 9 rue de lUniversite, youll find a portrait of the crusty old bishop painted in 1672 by Brother Luc, as well as landscapes by Joseph Lgar and self-portraits by Antoine Plamondon and Thophile Hamel. Set back behind tall trees off the rue des Jardins, the Anglican Holy Trinity Cathedral of 1804, with its elegant spire, will be familiar to Londoners for its respectful imitation of St. Martin-in-the-Fields. Notice inside the solid old pews of English oak. In an attractive garden setting, the large Ursuline Convent was established in 1639 and rebuilt twice after fire. Its chapel has a fine 18th-century altar painting and pulpit. Montcalm was buried here after the battle, but only his skull remains, in a museum otherwise devoted to the convents first mother superior, who compiled the first dictionary of the Iroquois and Algonquin languages. The pasture for the convents cattle is now the quiet, spacious Parc de lEsplanade, the perfect place to rest your tired sightseeing feet. Lower Town Various stairways and the winding Cte de la Montagne take you down past Montmorency Park to the site of Champlains original colony, which grew into the Ville Basse (Lower Town). One of the more hazardous ways down, and so a favorite with children, is the Escalier Casse-Cou (Breakneck Stairway), merely dangerous when wet, lethal when icy. For the view, take the funicular railway from Dufferin Terrace. The funiculars Lower Town terminal was once the house of Louis Joliet, great 17th-century fur trader and explorer of the Mississippi River. Champlains Abitation of 1608two wooden houses and a storehouse for furs surrounded by a stockade and a ditchstood on the Place Royale, now a beautifully restored square of elegant 17th- and 18th-century houses. In the center is a replica of a 1686 bust of Louis XIV. Facing the Place Royale, the church of Notre-Dame-des-Victoires celebrates French victories over the British before 1759. After centuries of devastation by war, fire, plunder, and sheer neglect, the meticulous restoration work by the Qubec provincial government has been a major act of faith in the cultural legacy of New France, reinforcing the provincial motto Je me souviens. After 1759, most colonial administrators and merchants just abandoned Qubec, while many who stayed on moved to the shelter of the new British defenses in the Upper Town. During the 19th and early 20th centuries, older buildings were often arbitrarily razed to make way for waterfront warehouses and workshops. Among the historic houses on rue du March-Champlain, Maison Chevalier (1752) has become a museum of old Qubcois furniture and domestic utensils. The Maison Dumont (1689) on Place Royale is now the Maison des Vins, selling good French wine and owned, like all Qubcois wine and alcohol retailers, by the provincial government. On the corner of the ruelle du Porche, Maison Milot (1691) is notable for its sturdy roof beams. The quaintest of the citys antiques shops have clustered around rue Sault-au-Matelot and rue St-Paul down by the port. The bargains here are old tools and kitchen utensils. The city has renovated the warehouses of the Old Port (Vieux Port) as an entertainment area with concerts, open-air theater, a craftware market, and a couple of handsome old sailing ships. Beyond the City Wall From the Parc de lEsplanade, drive up the Cte de la Citadelle hill road and through a tunnel for a guided tour around a powerful bastion of fears long gone. The French built the starshaped Citadel in 1750 to resist the British. The British enlarged it in 1820 to defend Qubec City against the Americans, but their cannons never fired a shot in anger. The garrison was British-manned for only 20 years before being handed over to Canadian troops. Today it is the home of Canadas crack Royal 22nd Regiment. In summertime the garrison comes to life with the Changing of the Guard (10am daily, June 24first week of Sept.) and Beating the Retreat (6pm WedSat during July and August). The old powder house serves now as the Muse Militaire, displaying the regiments history with its trophies, weapons, and uniforms. Running southwest from the Parc de lEsplanade, the broad, modern Grande-Alle runs past the Assemble Nationale (provincial parliament), built from 18771886 in the favored style of the time, French Renaissance. This has been the citadel of Qubecs quest for a special identity in or outside the Canadian Confederation, especially under Prime Minister Ren Lvesque. On Boulevard St-Cyrille, the Grand Thtre de Qubec was inaugurated in 1971 as Qubec Citys arts center and home of the Qubec Symphony Orchestra. Battlefields Park (Parc des Champs de Bataille, 390 rue de Bernieres) is devoted to the momentous battle on the Plains of Abraham that decided the fate of Qubec in 1759. Quite apart from its historical significance, the park offers delightful walks across the treelined fields. In the center of the park youll see a massive Martello tower, built in 1805, as part of Qubecs new defenses against a potential American attack. In a town where every monument seems like a political statement, rue Wolfe leads to one on the spot where General Wolfe was mortally wounded, while anonymous Qubcois patriots have responded with a statue of Joan of Arc, off the Avenue George VI. In the southern half of the park, the Muse de Qubec possesses a first-rate collection of Qubcois painting and sculpture, as well as historic furniture, jewelry, and gold and silver church ornaments. The sculpture is principally from the 18th century, but the paintings range from the colonys beginnings to the present day. Look for the historical studies of Joseph Lgar, the portraits of Antoine Plamondon and Thodore Hamel, and landscapes of Cornelius Krieghoff. Among the moderns are the Automatiste abstracts of Jean-Paul Riopelle and the optical art of Jacques Hurtubise. Cte de Charlevoix A day trip along the St. Lawrence River on Highway 360 north of Qubec City will give you a glimpse of village life and the challenging landscape in which the habitants created their farms. Cte de Charlevoix is part of the Laurentian heights, reaching to the Saguenay River where the coureurs de bois turned off in search of furs. At the northern edge of town, turn right after the Montmorency River bridge into a park where a terrace overlooks the impressive Montmorency Falls, plunging 91 m (274 ft) into the river. Ste-Anne-de-Beaupr is a major pilgrimage town for torch-lit processions in summer to the glory of the mother of the Virgin Mary. Beyond the town, in a sudden confrontation with the wilderness, a walkway in the forest takes you up close to the pounding waters of the 80-m (240-ft) Ste-Anne Falls, ragged and crashing around the boulders, a much less neat and tidy cascade than Montmorency. Painters and craftsmen who have made their home in the fishing village of Baie-St-Paul will be more than happy to sell you their work. In a country boasting one of the worlds biggest paper industries, youll find here one last town, St-Joseph-de-la-Rive, where you can buy handmade paper, perfect for writing home with distinction. On the wharf, take a ferry across to the lovely little Ile aux Coudres, another fishing community that has become a favorite artists haunt. The islands homecrafts include weaving the rough Qubcois rag rugs known as catalognes. You may be tempted into an overnight stay by the colorful inns and folksong taverns run by retired seamen, who look as if they escaped the old schooner stranded at the southwest end of the island. These salts do cook up a fine heart-warming fish soup. When Jacques Cartier got to the island, his sailors made a feast of the hazelnuts, for which coudres is an old French word. Ever since U.S. president William H. Taft built himself a holiday home out at Pointe-au-Pic at the beginning of the century, La Malbaie has enjoyed a reputation as the regions smartest resort town, offering horseback-riding, golf, and tennis. Stop at the grand old Manoir Richelieu hotel at least for tea on the superbly manicured lawns overlooking the river. Gasp Peninsula Gasp, the first Canadian landfall of Jacques Cartier in 1534, is a Micmac Indian word for Lands End, and this is indeed southern Qubecs most remote region, 700 km (420 miles) from Qubec City. But its well worth the trip for anyone with four or five days to spare and eager to get away from the throng into this still-unspoiled wilderness on the Gulf of St. Lawrence. Densely wooded river valleys and sheltered coves break up the rugged north coast, with its steep cliffs plunging down to broad pebble or fine sandy beaches. The Chics-Chocs Mountains of the interior, the highest in eastern Canada, are the northern terminal of the Appalachian Range that begins down in Alabama. Descendants of Acadians and Loyalists, the warm and friendly Gaspesians are a more harmonious mix of French- and English-speaking citizens than elsewhere in Qubec. In a region without any noteworthy industry other than cod fishing, a little forestry, and tourism, the people add to their income by selling their craftwork and farm produce from improvised stands. At the tip of the peninsula, Forillon National Park offers great facilities for fishing, boat cruises, skin-diving (wetsuits are obligatory), and hiking. In this most spectacular of land- and seascapes, even the least artistic of you will be tempted to take up painting or at least photography. Look out for the whales and grey seals in the gulf. Wildlife inside the park includes fat little porcupine, hare, red squirrel, deer, moose and an occasional bear, lynx, and fox. Birdwatchers have 200 species to feast their eyes on, with guillemots and cormorants among the easier to spot. The town of Gasp makes its livelihood from fishingcod and herring. It offers good opportunities for sailing and windsurfing (again, wetsuits obligatory). On the rue du Monument is a granite cross commemorating the wooden cross that Jacques Cartier planted on behalf of his French sovereign in front of a bemused audience of Iroquois. The best hotels are in the resort town of Perc, so this is naturally the most crowded place on the peninsula. People come for watersports and to marvel at the cliffs pierced (perc) by the sea. Erosion originally created two arches in the 94-m- (82-ft-) high rocks, but one has since crumbled. See them at sunrise when theyre pink. Take a cruise around Bonaventure Island to view the penguins and puffins. THE ATLANTIC The Atlantic coastal provinces lie off Canadas beaten track. This implies many advantages for tourists seeking lovely unspoiled countryside away from the crowds, but also, for the residents, some acute political and economic disadvantages. Nova Scotia, Prince Edward Island (P.E.I.), and New Brunswick make up the Maritime Provinces, more commonly known as the Maritimes. Last to join the Canadian Confederation, in 1949, the offshore island of Newfoundland is linked as one province with the mainland region of Labrador. The Maritimes and Newfoundland, together now known as the Atlantic Provinces, have often felt neglected. They were the last provinces to benefit from transcontinental railways and highways. New Brunswicks shipbuilding timber suffered in the age of steam and steel hulls. Newfoundlands fisheries were equally hard hit when modern refrigeration made it possible for foreign companies to dispense with the islands centuries-old drying techniques. Economic hardship prompted some to migrate to other regions. But this separateness has shaped a hardy people of considerable character and charm. Just getting to know them makes the journey worthwhile. Youll find them cheerful, friendly, and more easily approachable than the big-city folk of Ontario and Qubec. Newfoundland is peopled almost exclusively from the southwest of England and southern Ireland, whence the special music and color of their dialect (see page 145). The Maritimes have been mainly settled by Scottish Highlanders, German Protestants, and French-speaking Acadians. The cooler climate makes the region a strictly summer and early autumn destination. Its a land of hiking, camping, and fishing, with some good swimming off Prince Edward Island and Nova Scotia. If the Maritimes are warm to mellow from late June to early September, Newfoundland is a little fresher. Nova Scotia Youd think the chamber of commerce carved their map as a public relations gimmick, but the province really is shaped like a lobster. In any case, many a gourmet or glutton feels that a Halifax lobster dinner is reason enough to make the trip. But weight watchers can enjoy Nova Scotia, too. Theres the sparkling Atlantic coastline, with its delightful little fishing ports. Or rolling green hills across the interior to the orchards and dairy farms of Annapolis Valley. This western side of the peninsula is rich in the poignant history of French Acadia. The provinces northern island is the site of one of Canadas best-loved national parks, Cape Breton Highlands, where youll drive the spectacular Cabot Trail along the coast and in and out of the forest. Halifax Ships of the Canadian navy jostle with the trawlers of Nova Scotias commercial fisheries in this major Atlantic port. But the prevailing tone is one of more relaxed pleasure, typified by the yachts and sailboats gliding gracefully in and out of the Northwest Arm marinas. Attracted by the natural harbor, one of the worlds largest, the British established the town in the mid-18th century as a naval garrison and shipyard to counter the French fortress of Louisbourg farther north on Cape Breton (see page 130). Halifaxs strategic position on the Atlantic soon proved even more invaluable as a base for farming the rich shoals of cod and herring on the oceans Scotian Shelf. In this haven for pirates and rum-runners, Samuel Cunard (17871865) founded his famous transatlantic shipping line with a fortune acquired in large part from privateering. Down on the harborfront today, the old wharves, warehouses, even the houses of joyous ill-repute that cluster in back streets around any international port have been refurbished as Historic Properties, a bright and breezy neighborhood of artists studios and galleries, shops, restaurants, and taverns with open-air terraces. The boardwalk takes you through a colorful architecture of red brick, timber, grey stone, and gaily painted clapboard. Summer attractions include a puppet theater, concerts, lobster races, and windsurfing competitions. At the international tournament of town criers, hear local newsmongers in 18th-century costume pitting their Oyez! against the best bellowers from Britain and Bermuda. Anchored by Privateers Warehouse (Halifax was a popular haven for pirates from the Napoleonic Wars to the rum-running Prohibition Era of the 1920s) is a grand racing schooner, Bluenose II. You can walk the decks or even take a two-hour cruise on this replica of the famous 1921 champion sailship portrayed on the Canadian ten-cent coin. Bluenose was the Americans nickname for Nova Scotias wind-whipped sailors. If the schooner is out of port on one of its frequent goodwill tours down the Atlantic coast, there are several other harbor cruises well worth taking, to view the shipyards, naval installations, and fishing fleet, as well as the yacht clubs and elegant waterfront homes on the Northwest Arm inlet. Also on the harbor, the Maritime Museum of the Atlantic (1675 Lower Water Street,) is housed in a turn-of-the-century ship chandlery, setting the tone with a nostalgic whiff of tarred rope in the restored shop on the ground floor. The museum traces the dockyards 200-year history, displaying naval instruments, weapons, and some superb ship models from sail to steam, including the Aquitania ocean liner. A special section is devoted to shipwrecks on the notorious Sable Island. Berthed at the museums wharf is the 1913 survey vessel, Acadia, that charted the coasts of eastern Canada from Nova Scotia to Hudson Bay. Downtown, on Hollis Street, Province House, a dignified Georgian stone building (1819), boasts Canadas oldest legislative assembly, instigated by New England Loyalists. A statue of Joseph Howe stands in front; he was Nova Scotias champion of a free press and democratic government, but a fierce opponent of joining the Confederation. For a good panoramic view of Halifax and a sense of its important military history, make your way around the grassy slopes leading to the star-shaped Citadel, from which a cannon-shot has boomed across the town each day at noon since the 1850s. A good guided tour takes you around the garrison, originally built for 300 British soldiers. It is surrounded by a deep, wide, dry moat, thick walls, and fortified grass-covered earthworks. The Cavalier Building has been restored to the way it was in 1869 and is now an Army Museum with uniforms, weapons, and the models of three previous city fortresses. The South Magazine stored powder barrels uncomfortably close to military prisoners who were kept, with the cannons, in the Garrison Cells. Canadian troops used the Citadel as barracks in both world wars, while anti-aircraft batteries were installed there in World War II. In summer, students in the kilted uniform of the 78th Highlanders perform infantry and artillery drills. The Nova Scotia Tattoo stages more spectacular military bagpipe parades, highland dances, singing, and a Naval Gun Run competition at the nearby Halifax Metro Center in late June, early July. From the Citadel, looking east, you can see the citys popular landmark, the Old Town Clock. This octagonal tower was erected in 1803 by Prince Edward, tough commander of the Nova Scotia forces and future father of Queen Victoria. At the south end of Grand Parade, opposite the city hall, stands St. Pauls (1750), Canadas oldest Anglican church. West of the Citadel, on Summer Street, the Nova Scotia Museum of Natural History is devoted to the provinces human and natural history. It exhibits Indian clothing, tools, and artifacts, with local Micmac Indians demonstrating their use, and colonial ceramics, glassware, and pinewood furniture (often artfully painted to imitate more expensive mahogany or oak). Regional wildlife on display ranges from dinosaurs to moose, bear, coyotes, and bald eagles. The Halifax Public Gardens, south of the museum, makes a pleasant stroll around the duck pond and among such exquisite Asian trees as the Chinese gingko and white-flowered dove tree, the Japanese lilac and larch, and a corkscrew birch. Try to be here for an utterly Victorian open-air band concert. The towns most attractive piece of greenery is Point Pleasant Park, whose beach and shady woods make it ideal for picnics. At the southern tip of the Halifax peninsula, the park provides a fine vantage point from which to watch the big ships in the harbor and the yachts on the Northwest Arm. Among old ruined fortifications is the still intact Prince of Wales Martello Tower, a massive stone structure serving as barracks, weapons storage, and artillery platform, built by Prince Edward in 1796. Collectors of lore about the Titanic ocean liner, which sank south of Newfoundland in 1912, can find the tombs of many of the victims in the Fairview Cemetery on the northwest side of town. Atlantic Coast Scores of lighthouses along Nova Scotias south shore trace a sawtoothed route of coves that over the ages offered shelter to pirates, rum-runners, and fishermen. For the modern holidaymaker, there are plenty of pleasant bathing beaches, too. The 45-minute, 48-km (30-mile) drive along winding coastal Highway 333 from Halifax southwest to Peggys Cove has become a photographers pilgrimage. This almost unbearably picturesque fishing village perches its brightly colored clapboard cottages and lighthouse among massive granite boulders. The trick is to keep the snack-bars and souvenir shops out of the picture. Youll find more deserted coves and beaches around St. Margarets Bay as you drive on to Chester, 79 km (49 miles) west of Peggys Cove on Mahone Bay. This fashionable resort town was founded in 1759 by Massachusetts fishermen and remains a favorite vacation spot for New Englanders. Inland, 20 minutes drive from Chester north along Highway 12, you can visit Ross Farm, a living museum of 300 years of Nova Scotia farming. Oxcarts and horse-drawn haywagons take you around the property, where you can watch barrel-making, see the old farm implements in action, and buy produce from the farm kitchen and locally made craftware. Take a boat trip from the town of Mahone Bay to Oak Island. Dreamers still dig for the gold doubloons, emeralds, rubies, and diamonds that Captain William Kidd, lovable villain of Robert Louis Stevensons Treasure Island, is said to have buried here. This real-life Scots-born 17th-century brigand received the official blessing of the British governor of New York to plunder French, Spanish, and Dutch ships from the Caribbean to Madagascar, frequently hiding out on the Nova Scotia coast. That blessing didnt keep him from being hanged in London, convicted of murder and acts of piracy. Down the coast from Mahone Bay, Lunenburg, the original 18th-century settlement of German Protestants, is an attractive town of grey-weathered shingleboard houses. Its proud boast in modern times is the building of the original Bluenose racing schooner. On the waterfront, the Fisheries Museum of the Atlantic will give you a vivid sense of the whole history of sailing and fishing along Nova Scotias coasts. Besides a beautiful model of the Bluenose, the museums star attractions are two old ships moored in the port: the schooner Theresa E. Connor used for cod fishing and the trawler Cape Sable. Across Lunenburg Harbor, take a clifftop hike through the little pine forest and around the striking rock formations of The Ovens. These deep caves were the scene of a mini gold rush in 1861, when New Englanders poured into the area to pan a fewvery fewnuggets from the shale on the beach. A little museum shows you their tools, techniques, and a few molar-sized bits of gold. Annapolis Valley Route 101 takes you from Halifax northwest across the peninsula through Annapolis Valleys fertile farmland of apple orchards, strawberry fields, and cattle pastures. This is the heart of Nova Scotias French Acadia. In Windsor, stop off to see the 18th-century blockhouse at Fort Edward (named after Governor Edward Cornwallis), grim monument to the British military presence that prepared the deportation. The dispersal began out at Grand-Pr, now a national historic park commemorating the Acadians resilience. This was the center of a thriving farming community which built dykes to reclaim marshland from the Minas Basin, grew fruit and vegetables, and raised cattle, sheep, pigs, and poultry. Their farms were destroyed by the British in 1704, recaptured by the French in 1747, and held just eight years till the 2,000-strong community was expelled, to return a few years later and re-establish their farms all over again. A stone church, faintly Norman in style, was erected in the park in 1930 as a memorial to Acadian culture and history. The bronze statue in the gardens is not a saint, but Evangeline, sad heroine of Henry Longfellows poem on the deportation. Along the Annapolis River road, such pretty little villages as Middleton, Lawrencetown, and Bridgetown bear the unmistakable mark of the New Englanders who moved into the region to take over the Acadians farms. On the estuary, the peaceful town of Annapolis Royal was once the beleaguered target of 14 British and French sieges and countless pirate raids. Formerly Port Royal, it was renamed after Englands Queen Anne and became capital of Nova Scotia until the foundation of Halifax. Fort Anne National Historic Site, focus for the belligerence, is now a pleasant park of grassy knolls and ridges, remains of the earthwork defenses. Of the original buildings, only a powder house in the southwest bastion and a storehouse in the northwest survive. The officers quarters of 1797 have been reconstructed to house a museum of local Indian culture and natural history. Epitome of the towns more peaceful side, the Annapolis Royal Historic Gardens south of the city center display flora representative of the regions inhabitants: mayflower and pines for the Micmacs; iris and the vegetables the Acadians grew, with a reconstruction of their ingenious system of dykes and a typical Acadian cottage; an English rose arbor; and Victorian flower beds. A marsh lookout gives you a good view over the estuary. In the town center, the shops and taverns on Lower St. George Street are being transformed to recapture the grace of the towns Victorian era. Port Royal (10 km/6 miles west along Highway 1) is a fine recreation of Samuel de Champlains timbered Abitation, built in 1605. Furniture, utensils, and craftware, supplemented by audiovisual shows, give a vivid insight into the earliest permanent European settlement north of Florida. You can see how the French settlers, just 60 to begin with, made friendly contact with the Micmac. And hear how Champlain kept up morale throughout the long winters with a social club, LOrdre du Bon Temps (The Order of Good Times). Each member would organize a fortnightly banquet of game and fish he had caught himself. Among the entertainments they concocted to cheer up the long cold evenings was a play, Le Thtre de Neptune. North Americas first known full-length drama was written by the colonys lawyer, Marc Lescarbot. His writings, along with Champlains journals, provided the basis for the reconstitution of their environment. Cape Breton Island The airport outside the steel town of Sydney is the most convenient gateway for both the Fortress of Louisbourg National Historic Park to the east and the Cabot Trail to the west, leading to Cape Breton Highlands National Park. You may like to drive the more roundabout coast road over to Louisbourg with a side trip to Glace Bay. As an intriguing exercise in modern industrial archaeology, its desolate log cabins and colliery installations have become a coal mining village museum. Take the fascinating trip along the shafts and galleries of the abandoned Ocean Deep Mine, which reaches 17 km (11 miles) under the sea. You can have a coal miners meal at the colliery canteen. The great French fortress town of Louisbourg is presented as a splendid national historic park, one of the most elaborate in Canadas ambitious reconstruction program. Youll need a full day to do it justice. After the guided tour, take time to discuss extra details of 18th-century French colonial life with the well-informed and entertaining costumed volunteers performing the roles of fishermen, merchants, soldiers, and craftspeople (Tel. (902) 733-2280, ). Building of the original fortress began in 1719, six years after the Treaty of Utrecht had left the French only Cape Breton Island. The ice-free port provided a year-round strategic defense of approaches to the Gulf of St. Lawrence and Qubec, and a commercial base for cod fishing, trade with the Caribbean, and smuggling to and from New England. The reconstruction of one-fifth of the town recaptures life as it was in the summer of 1744, a year before the first great British siege, and 16 years before it was destroyed. You are plunged into the atmosphere of that moment in time as soon as you get off the park bus at the Georges des Roches fishing property, a long turf-roofed log cabin outside the fortified town. The men may be laying out dozens of cod to dry on what are known as flakes, the same trestled wooden racks still used in fishing villages all down the coast. At the drawbridge to Porte Dauphine, the main entrance gate bearing a relief of three fleurs-de-lys, the French royal coat of arms, youll be stopped by French soldiers to check whether youre a British spy. If they let you through (they usually do), walk past the Dauphin bastion to the handsomely carved stone portside gate, Porte Frdric. Turn right into the town along the main street, past the hospitable eating establishments of the Htel de la Marine and LEpe Royale, where you can get a characteristic 18th-century meal served on tin or pewter plates. Continue over to the Kings Bastion, the military barracks where living conditions show the kind of stark contrast that nurtured enough discontent to cause a mutiny in that year of 1744. The gabled Governors Wing numbers ten luxurious apartments with fine furniture, tapestries, silks, brocades, silverware, and delicate porcelain. The neighboring Officers Quarters are more humble but still comfortable enough, while the ordinary soldiers barracks are downright miserable, with rudimentary beds of straw. In the middle of the block, a simple little chapel tries to keep the peace. Back in Sydney, follow the Trans-Canada Highway west to the Englishtown exit for the ferry across St. Anns Bay to join the Cabot Trail at Indian Brook. This 300-km (180-mile) trail offers one of the countrys most spectacular drives, with dramatic juxtapositions of dense pine forest, sheer cliffs, and the ocean. Travel north along the Gaelic Coast, a name amply justified by the thick Scottish burr youll hear from most of the very friendly people you speak to on the way. At Cape Smokey, so called for the fogs that shroud it in winter and a few unlucky summer days, take the ski-lift that operates in summer for the view up and down the coast and over to the Cape Breton Highlands. Ingonish is a popular resort town on two bays with fine sandy beaches, offering excellent sailing, fishing, and swimming. Have at least a drink at the Keltic Lodge hotel, an old Nova Scotia landmark worth a visit for its view of Cape Smokey. Cape Breton Highlands National Park is a joy for all nature-lovers. The Cabot Trail leads you around the periphery, but clearly marked hiking trails (maps at the Ingonish park entrance) take you into the interior. Among the 27 hiking trails the best are the Glasgow Lakes trail to John Deer Lake and the trail around Beulach Ban Falls and French Mountain. Camping facilities on the edge of the park are better equipped than those marked out inside the forest. These New Scottish highlands look uncannily like those in the old country. To ram the point home, theres even a Scottish shepherds cottage, Lone Shieling, off the highway at Grande Anse River. The forest, a mixture of conifers and hardwoods, shelters white-tailed deer, black bear, moose, beaver, red fox, lynx, mink, and snowshoe hare. Bird-watchers can spot, among many species, red-tailed hawk and the occasional bald eagle. Fishermen should get their license at the park entrance to angle for trout or salmon (no motorboats allowed). On the northeast corner of the park, Neil Harbor is a pleasant little fishing port with sandy beaches. To explore the northern tip of the island, leave the park at South Harbor and drive 16 km (10 miles) to the fishing village of Bay St. Lawrence. Following a common seaport custom, the white clapboard village church, with its nave shaped like an upturned ship, was designed and built by local shipwrights. Take a bracing hike along the grassy cliff top west of town, but beware of the winds. Southwest of the park, Chticamp is an old stronghold of Acadian culture, with a museum exhibiting craftware as it was crocheted, spun, hooked, or woven in bygone centuries. At the museums little restaurant you can sample a traditional meal of clam chowder, meat pt, and molasses cakes. Expert anglers insist that the salmon fishing near Margaree Forks is the best in eastern Canada. North East Margaree has a salmon museum devoted to the fishs life cycle and the cunning tricks of poachers. In a fairytale setting of wooded hills around Bras dOr (Golden Arm) Lake, Baddeck, a popular tourist center, likes to be known as the place in which telephone-inventor Alexander Graham Bell chose to spend the last, very active years of his life. His home, hidden in the forest, is not open to the public, but the superbly organized museum in the Alexander Graham Bell National Historic Park shows how the great man devoted his energies in Baddeck to aviation. Besides his invention of the tetrahedral kite, the exhibits illustrate his work on the telephone and inventions of medical and maritime instruments. The museum gives plenty of space to photos of his family life in Edinburgh, the United States, and Baddeckwhich reminded him of countryside near Edinburgh. If this has whetted your taste for things Scottish, end your tour at the southern tip of St. Anns Bay, where Gaelic College gives summer courses in bagpipe-playing, dancing, and tartan-weaving. Even if youre not tempted to sign up, you can watch classes in progress. In August, the Gaelic Mod gathers Scots old and Nova for a grand competition. Prince Edward Island Canadas smallest province, just 224 km (139 miles) long and only 64 km (40 miles) across at its widest point, has a gentle rural atmosphere of rolling green meadows in the interior, with a coast of long sandy beaches at the foot of terra-cotta cliffs. The island nestles snugly in the Gulf of St. Lawrence, separated from New Brunswick and Nova Scotia by the Northumberland Strait. More than three-quarters of the area is given over to farmland. Rich in iron oxides, the red soil is best for potatoes, but farmers also grow succulent blueberries, raspberries, and strawberries. If the islands lobsters are a worthy rival to Nova Scotias, its finest seafood is the oysters of Malpeque Bay. Jacques Cartier named the island Ile St-Jean when he spotted it in the 16th century, but the French didnt colonize it until after their retrenchment following the 1713 Treaty of Utrecht. Like Nova Scotia, the island was transformed by the Acadians deportation and their replacement by New Englanders, who named it after Prince Edward, Duke of Kent, in 1799. The New Englanders preferred to exploit their property as absentee landlords, leaving it mainly to Irish and Scottish immigrants to clear the forests for shipbuilding and agriculture. P.E.I.s great historic moment came in 1864, when its capital, Charlottetown, hosted a meeting of Maritime leaders with delegates from Ontario and Qubec to chart the path to Canadas federal status as a united dominion. The new Confederation Bridge connects Prince Edward Island (at Borden-Carleton) with Cape Tormentine in New Brunswick, raising fears that the island will lose its distinct character. After potatoes (winning P.E.I. the name of Spud Island, a less grandiloquent alternative to Cradle of Confederation), tourism rates as the number two industry. The superb sandy beaches of the north coast attract over half a million visitors a year. Fans of Lucy Maud Montgomerys novel Anne of Green Gables can visit here the landscape in which it was set. After visiting centrally located Charlottetown, you can take three well-marked scenic drives around the island: Blue Heron in the center, Lady Slipper to the west, and Kings Byway to the east, corresponding roughly to the three counties, Queens, Prince, and Kings. Charlottetown P.E.I.s only city (population 30,000) sets the tone of the islands low-key charm. Named after the wife of George III of England, the town offers a colorful mix of greenery, characteristic red stone, and Victorian gingerbread. Its a busy port, a commercial and tourist center, but remains resolutely old-fashioned. Starting in Confederation Plaza, visit Province House, the sober grey sandstone Georgian building in which the Fathers of the Confederation met in 1864. Originally a courthouse, it is now the seat of the provincial legislature. Confederation Chamber has been preserved with the names of the august delegates, a very dignified setting for an affair that was in fact characterized by somewhat extravagant wining and dining. Next door stands the modern Confederation Centre of the Arts opened in 1964 to commemorate the Confederation Conferences centenary. The complex includes a museum, art gallery, theater, and library. Look in the gallery for the late 19th-century work of P.E.I. portraitist Robert Harris, celebrated for his group picture of the Fathers of the Confederation. The center is also the focus for the Charlottetown Summer Festival. Across the street, Hughes Drug Store is said to be the oldest operating pharmacy in Canada. Many of the original fittings are still in place. Youll find exhibits relating to the islands history in Beaconsfield, a gracious Victorian mansion on Kent Street. In July, the annual Strawberry Fair takes over the grounds. Blue Heron Drive The 190-km (118-mile) circuit follows the north shore, with its barrier islands, windswept dunes, red cliffs, and salt marshes, and around to the Northumberland Strait. From Charlottetown, head north to the great beaches of P.E.I. National Park. The north shores amazingly warm water (22C/172F in summer) offers the balmiest bathing in the Maritimes. The park includes the most popular attraction on the whole island, Green Gables House, a neat white-frame farmhouse with green shutters. Lucy Maud Montgomery lived here as a child and later used it as the setting for her novel, Anne of Green Gables. Lady Slipper Drive Starting out from Summerside, this 288-km (173-mile) western circuit around Prince County, named after the provincial flower, takes you through the Acadian community (close to 15,000) living on the south coast around Egmont Bay. Many of the villages fly the Acadians blue, white, and red flag modeled on that of France, but with a single star added to the blue band. Visit the Miscouche Acadian Museum, just west of Summerside, and an Acadian Pioneer Settlement at Mont-Carmel. The islands 19th-century shipbuilding industry is featured in Green Park museum and historic house at Port Hill. Gourmets head straight for the renowned oysters of Malpeque Bay. Out in the bay, on Lennox Island, is a settlement of Micmac Indians. Kings Byway Drive East of Charlottetown, the longest of the circuits, 375 km (233 miles), encompasses pleasant beaches, rugged, red-stone capes and coves, shady forests, lobster and tuna fisheries, and potato and fruit farms. The Orwell Corner Historic Village at Eldon includes some of the original log cabins built in the early 1800s by Scottish settlers. Visit the Basin Head Fisheries Museum at the east end of the island. On the north shore, at St. Peters, boats can be chartered for deep-sea fishing. New Brunswick With a rugged coastline and an interior covered 85% by forest, the province is popular with nature-loving campers in general and fishermen and hunters in particular. Anglers can hope for trout, bass, pickerel, and salmon, while hunters go for the duck and grouse. Wildlife enthusiasts may also spot red deer, black bear, and moose in the forests. The Bay of Fundys 16 m (50 ft) high tides produce remarkable effects in the river estuaries and along the coast. Linked to Nova Scotia by the narrow Chignecto Isthmus, New Brunswick became a separate province in 1784 at the demand of 14,000 Loyalist refugees. It took its name from the German duchy then ruled by George III of England. The Loyalists joined earlier settlers from New England, Pennsylvania, and Yorkshire, and French Acadians who had trickled back after their deportation during the Anglo-French wars. Today, one-third of the population is French-speaking, the rest English. Saint John The provinces largest town (where it is the custom never to abbreviate Saint to St.) is a port in the estuary of the Saint John River. It is the center of an important paper and pulp industry and has shipyards and oil refineries, but the city fathers have worked miracles to beautify the waterfront. Mists rising from the Bay of Fundy add a touch of romance and mystery. One of the towns main attractions is the natural phenomenon of the Bay of Fundys extraordinary tides, with a variation from low to high tide of 8.5 m (26 ft) at the mouth of the Saint John River. Watch the Reversing Falls Rapids from the bridge on Highway 100. The tourist information office there will tell you the best times to watch the tides evolution. At low tide, the Fundys waters are 4 m (13 ft) lower than the Saint John River, causing it to cascade through a narrow gorge into the bay. Gradually the flow slows down as the tide begins to rise again. At the tides turn, the slack enables ships to pass the rapids before the flow builds up in the opposite direction. The bays high tide of more than 4 m (13 ft) above the river thrusts all the way inland to Fredericton, 130 km (78 miles) away. On your riverside walk in Falls View Park, try to ignore the pulp mill. The bright new downtown area lovingly blends a modern and 19th-century atmosphere, especially along red-brick King Street. To suit all kinds of weather, skywalks and underground galleries link shopping and entertainment centers. Market Square is the attractive hub of the harborfront renovation, a multi-level complex of shops, apartments, hotel, and cafs, surrounding an atrium in what were once just ugly warehouses. The Ocean Hawker II tug moored at Market Slip has been converted into a bar. At nearby Barbours General Store, an authentic 19th-century grocery, try the local specialty of dulse, an edible seaweed that is New Brunswicks answer to chewing gum. It was at Market Slip that a contingent of 3,000 Loyalists landed in 1783 to found the city of Saint John. The event is commemorated in July by the Loyalists Days festival, with processions along the harbor and dancing in the streets, all performed in the 18th-century costume. New Brunswick Museum (277 Douglas Avenue) is devoted principally to the provinces grand old shipbuilding industry, the source of considerable prosperity before timber had to bow to the new age of steam and steel. There are also interesting exhibits on the life of Micmac Indians and New Brunswicks animals and plants. Bay of Fundy Take Highway 1 northeast from Saint John and turn off at Penobsquis to head for Fundy National Park, a wonderful nature reserve with an emphasis on the seashore and its spectacular high tides. At the park entrance, you can get detailed maps of the 110 km (68 miles) of hiking and biking trails linking campgrounds and chalets inside the park. An arts-and-crafts school offers courses in wood-carving and copper jewelry for adults, and basket-weaving and glass-painting for children. On Bennett Lake, you can rent a canoe or fish from a rowboat. On the shore, walk along the flats at low tide to seek out periwinkles, barnacles, and sea anemones underneath the rocks. Herring Cove gives you a good view and detailed explanations of the tides. Take a side-trip to Hopewell Cape at the mouth of the Petit-codiac River. If you can, camp overnight, as dawn is the perfect time to enjoy the view of its red cliffs and bizarre pillars of granite topped with tufts of balsam fir and black spruce, revealed at low tide. The rocks have been buffeted into what the tourist office calls the Grant Flowerpots. Fredericton New Brunswicks capital is a pleasant, sleepy little town most notable for the splendid Beaverbrook Art Gallery. It was built by William Maxwell Aitken (18791964), who as Lord Beaverbrook became a great British press baron and a member of Winston Churchills war cabinet. (Although born in Ontario, he took his title from his home in Beaverbrook, New Brunswick.) Look for Graham Sutherlands imposing portrait of the publisher of Londons Daily Express and other fiercely patriotic newspapers. But the gallerys masterpiece is Salvador Dals Santiago el Grande. Other important works include the English school of Reynolds, Turner, Gainsborough, and Romney, and Canadian paintings by Tom Thomson, Emily Carr, and Cornelius Krieghoff. The mid-19th-century Neo-Gothic Christ Church Cathedral, with fine stained-glass windows and wooden beams, seems transplanted straight from the English countryside. In keeping with this spirit is the Changing of the Guard that you can watch on summer mornings at Officers Square. Explore the Saint John River west of Fredericton on a pretty 37-km (23-mile) excursion out to Kings Landing Historical Settlement, a reconstitution of a characteristic Loyalist village at the end of the 18th century. Veterans of the Kings American Dragoons established a logging and shipbuilding community here, and their tasks are reenacted today with remarkable authenticity. The waterwheel-driven sawmill still operates, as do a theater and an inn, the Kings Head, serving old-fashioned meals. Newfoundland Without detracting from the significance of Columbuss landing on the Bahamas, Newfoundland can lay a just claim to being the true beginning of Europes adventure in North America. Anyone seeking to understand Canadas role in shaping North America should spare a few days for this bracing province of hardy fisherfolkfirst Canadian land to be found and last to join the Confederation (incorporating Labrador), in 1949. The land and seascapes are impressively rugged and the spirited people a sheer delight. Life in isolated fishing communities has given the Newfies a keen sense of local identity. Citizens of the capital of St. Johns are townees, those on the outskirts bay-men, and the towns beyond are known as outports. Canadian is still reserved for a mainlander. Seek ye first the Kingdom of God, says the provincial motto. But on your way, look out for Newfoundland, seems to have been the slogan of the old North Atlantic navigators, from the good Irish Abbot Brendan in the sixth century and the wild Norsemen in the 11th, to all the Basque, French, Spanish, and Portuguese fishermen who preceded explorer John Cabot, paid 10 by Henry VII for finding the new isle in 1497. It was the fishermen who really knew what the island was worththe Grand Banks to the east of Newfoundland are the richest breeding ground of cod in the world. For centuries, the island existed only for its offshore fish. Any permanent settlement was actively discouraged, so as not to compete with Britains West Country merchants. Even after the first serious colonization of the 18th century, the forests of the interior were exploited just for building fishermens cottages and their ships. No towns were built away from the coast. St. Johns Local folklore insists that the name (not to be confused with Saint John, New Brunswick) comes from the saints day of John the Baptist, June 24, when John Cabot arrived here in 1497. Newfoundlands capital and largest city retains the simple allure of the fishing port it has always been, and the picturesque harbor is the place to begin. In the 19th century the town burned down five times, but it still stubbornly builds wooden houses overlooking the waterfront. Their brightly painted walls add a welcome touch of color to the gaunt grey trawlers in the docksfrom Britain, of course, but also Russia and even Japan. Parallel to the harbor, youll find on Gower Street the prettiest Victorian houses, painted burgundy, lemon, burnt sienna, dove grey, and white. Newfoundland Museum, on Duckworth Street, recounts the human history of the island, displaying the dwellings and artifacts of the Inuit and native peoples, including the now-extinct Beothuk, and the costume, furniture, and implements of the first European fishermen. Another section of the museum, in the shopping center of the Murray Premises down on Harbour Drive, is devoted to the provinces colorful seafaring history. Safely up on a hill on Military Road, the Catholic Basilica of St. John the Baptist (1850) escaped the numerous fires to dominate the towns skyline with its granite and limestone towers. Down on Gower Street, the Anglican Cathedral, also named after John the Baptist, burned down twice, and its simple Neo-Gothic 20th-century version is still without a steeple. For the best view of the harbor go up to Signal Hill, looking over the narrows and out to the Atlantic Ocean. The hill was fortified to guard the harbor entrance during the Napoleonic Wars, and you can still see cannon of the Queens Battery, installed in 1796. The Cabot Tower atop the hill was built in 1897, fourth centenary of Cabots landing and diamond jubilee of Queen Victoria. Four years later, at 12:30pm, December 12, 1901, in a receiving station improvised near the tower in a hospital (burned down in 1920), Guglielmo Marconi suddenly yelled: Do you hear that? Do you hear that? What the Italian inventor was so excited about were three faint dots of the letter S in Morse, from his transmitter in Poldhu, Cornwall. The group of dour Newfie fishermen listening in were more impressed by this fellow jumping up and down than by historys first transatlantic radio message. The event is commemorated by a modest exhibit in the Cabot Tower. On the north side of the hill, Quidi Vidi (pronounced Kiddy Viddy) is a charming little fishing port with excellent seafood restaurants. On the first Wednesday in August, St. Johns Regatta, a race for six-oar rowing boats, is held on Quidi Vidi Lake. Begun in the 1820s, this oldest continuing sporting event in North America is also the occasion of a boisterous carnival. Avalon Peninsula The drive south down the peninsula from St. Johns takes you first out to Cape Spear, a windswept rocky promontory jutting out into the crashing waves of the Atlanticeasternmost point of North America (longitude 523724). This strategic position prompted the Americans to install two anti-submarine gun emplacements on the tip of the cape in World War II. The 1835 white clapboard lighthouse here has been restored with a jolly red-and-white striped dome, while a less-attractive modern concrete tower does all the work. Down at the bird sanctuary on Witless Bay, you can spot penguins, puffins, guillemots, and little auks. Best sightings are from mid-June to mid-July, when you can hire a boat from Bay Bulls out to Gull Island. Marine Drive, north of St. Johns, takes you up a characteristically craggy coast through the fishing villages of Outer Cove, Middle Cove, and Torbay up to pretty Pouch Cove. Look out for the whales that pass down this coast in summer. On the shore, youll see the wooden trestled racks on which fishermen still dry their cod in the time-honored manner. For a view of Newfoundland at its wildest and most magnificently desolate, drive beyond Marine Drive on the gravel road leading to Cape St. Francis. BRITISH COLUMBIA Such a land, said Rudyard Kipling in 1908, is good for an energetic man. It is also not bad for a loafer. Thats still true today. British Columbia, the third largest province, is supremely the land of the wild outdoors, with the constant challenge of rugged mountains, seemingly impenetrable forests, a jagged coastline, and dizzily fast-moving rivers. But its capital is the smiling, sleepy town of Victoria, evoking a genteel British past that the British themselves may well have forgotten. And the provinces principal city, with a population of 1.7 million, is the beautifully situated Vancouver, home of easy living, elegant architecture, and all the color and movement of an international port. Loafers love it. Long after Northwest Coast Indians had found the region to be a hospitable land of plenty, it was explored and worked by Scottish fur traders who called it New Caledonia. When the discovery of gold on the Fraser River in 1858 brought in a flood of American adventurers, Britain decided it was time to take the land over from the Hudsons Bay Company and create the colony of British Columbia. It joined the Dominion of Canada in 1871 on the understanding that the Canadian Pacific Railway would reach B.C. in the next decade (delay nearly caused secession). The C.P.R. choice of Vancouver as its terminus gave B.C. its major Pacific port. The great boon of British Columbia, at least in the southwest corner where three-quarters of the population is clustered, is its gentle, relatively dry summers and mild (but rainy) winters. B.C.s kind weather has been a major factor in attracting new blood in the westward expansion from Ontario, Qubec, and the Maritimes. Trees are the main source of B.C.s prosperity. The spruce, fir, and cedar provide three-quarters of Canadas construction lumber and considerable quantities of wood pulp and paper. Much to the joy of sports fishermen, the salmon of the Pacific coast and the great rivers of the interior remains another vital natural resource. The threat of overfishing has been cut back, and, in a province where revenues from hydroelectric power are second only to those of Qubec, the energy industry has been prevented from damming the Fraser so as not to damage the salmons spawning grounds. B.C.s population (4,000,000) is concentrated around the Strait of Georgia and along the U.S. border, with scarcely any inhabitants at all north of Prince Rupert. The people are still mainly British in origin, most of them Scottish. Other European immigrants are German, Dutch, Greek, Ukrainian, Italian, Scandinavian, and a few French. Native peoples number about 82,000. From across the Pacific, the province has attracted a large Asian communityChinese, Japanese, and, of more recent arrival, Vietnamese, Pakistanis, and Indians. Vancouver The citys setting in a magnificent bay embraced by soaring green mountains is one of those blessings that can turn any hard-boiled atheist into a believer. Cynicism dissolves with your first taste of the towns gentle ambience, created by a clever combination of the comforts of sophisticated modernity with the simpler joys of the wilderness at its back door. Expanding at a purposeful but more leisurely pace than other leading Canadian cities, Vancouver has never lost sight of the importance of enjoying life at the same time. Many business people from Toronto have been driven close to apoplexy by the relaxed style of their Vancouver colleagues. In keeping with this easy-going attitude, the city was originally known as Gastown, after saloon-keeper Gassy Jack Deighton, who looked after the needs of pioneer lumbermen and sailors in the 1860s. It was only when the town became C.P.R.s West Coast railway terminus in 1886 that it took on the more dignified name of one of the regions first European visitors, navigator George Vancouver. A fire in 1886 and property-developers left few traces of the 19th-century town, but bold contemporary architecture downtown and out at the Simon Fraser and University of British Columbia campuses blends beautifully with the mountain and ocean backdrop. Unsightly docklands have been cleaned up, and handsome new housing has been built on the waterfront. First View More than in most towns, Vancouvers unique setting demands a carefully planned first view. The city is built around the broad English Bay, which funnels through First and Second Narrows into the Burrard Inlet, the waterway that George Vancouver explored in a scouting boat in 1791. The harbor separates the city proper, with the Stanley Park promontory, from its elegant north shore mountainside suburbs of West and North Vancouver. To take in all this, you need to begin from not one, but two observation points. Cross the First Narrows on Lions Gate Bridge and take the Capilano Road for a cable-car ride, Skyride, up to Grouse Mountain and its grand view south over the city and harbor. Try to be there at sunset, too, to see the city light up. A favorite with skiers, the mountain also offers a fine view northwest over Capilano Lake and across to Vancouver Island. If you feel like a quick whiff of the wilderness on your way back, turn off to walk the swaying suspension bridge 76 m (230 ft) above the fast-flowing waters of Capilano Canyon. To get an equally impressive view of the city set against its mountains, go downtown to the observation deck (and its restaurant, if you like) on top of the 40-story Harbour Centre (555 West Hastings Street). A bonus on clear days is a view south, with the long-range telescope, of Mount Baker across the American border in the state of Washington. Youll find the information office of Tourism British Columbia, at 865 Hornby Street, useful for details about the province. For the city, Greater Vancouver Convention & Visitors Bureau is at 200 Burrard Street, Plaza Level. Downtown The main streets through the West End peninsula to Stanley Park are Georgia and Robson. Georgia Street continues through the park to Lions Gate Bridge. Though you will need a car in this sprawling city, park it for your downtown tour and walktraffic jams can be horrendous. Start your tour of the city center at Robson Square, site of one of the true masterpieces of modern North American architecture, Arthur Ericksons Courthouse. Characteristic of the Vancouver architects finest works, the building is conceived horizontally, only seven stories high but still the dominant focus among the skyscrapers towering above it. Revolutionizing the whole stuffy concept of law courts, with not a marble column or portico in sight, this sparkling structure spreads out in tiers of glassed-in walkways, offices, and courtrooms, and also shops, restaurants, a small cinema, and a skating-rink. Pools cascade from one level to another among indoor and outdoor gardens of flowering shrubs and rose bushes, Japanese maples, orange trees, and a miniature pine forest. An intriguing pattern of stairways and ramps collectively dubbed strampsvery popular with rollerskaters and rollerbladersruns across the plazas from corner to corner, attracting large crowds during city celebrations. Robson Square also provides a home for Vancouver Art Gallery, in the old courthouse (a proper Neoclassical temple renovated by Erickson). The star feature of this collection of Canadian artists is the outstanding work of Emily Carr (18711945). Crazy Old Millie, as she was known locallyKlee Wyck or the Laughing One to her Kwakiutl Indian friendswas a popular eccentric in Victoria, where she kept a boarding house and wheeled a pet monkey around in a baby carriage. Years of painting among the native peoples and studying with French Post-Impressionists produced a unique style of vigorous, expressive landscapes and totemic themes achieved with great sweeps and swirls of bold color. Look for the lush, dramatic Big Raven (1928) and Forest, British Columbia (1932), in which the trees have the sculptural quality of totem poles. The section of Robson Street between Burrard and Bute streets is known as Robsonstrasse. Now it has lost its distinctively German character to become a cosmopolitan restaurant row offering Vietnamese, Japanese, Scandinavian, Italian, and French cuisine. Fresh seafood is a great attraction. East of Robson Square, the Granville Mall pedestrian shopping zone takes you down to the Harbour Centre and the waterfront. From the foot of Granville Street, take a bargain cruise on the commuter Seabus, which crosses Burrard Inlet to North Vancouver, 12 minutes each way. Besides the fish-eye view of the city and harbor, you get a close-up of the grand Canada Place, jutting out into the harbor like an ocean liner, with a hint of the ports 19th-century beginnings in its white simulated sails. Originally the national pavilion at Expo 86, it is now the B.C. Convention Centre. If you dont have a taste for the down-and-out life of Skid Row on Hastings Street, make your way east to the brighter colors of Chinatown along Pender Street. Canadas largest Chinese community, made up of the descendants of immigrants who worked on the Canadian Pacific Railway, is much in evidence in the fruit and vegetable markets, fish-stalls, and boutiques of silks and satins, bamboo and lacquer wares from Hong Kong, Taiwan, and mainland China. Look for the shops of traditional spices and medicines, where reindeer horn and deers tail-tips are said to perk up even the weariest husband. Barbecued pork and poultry glisten in the windows of the dozens of restaurants, and tourists are drawn in by the garish street dcoreven the telephone booths have pagoda-style roofs. Away from the throngs, the Dr. Sun Yat-Sen Garden, at the corner of Carrall and Pender streets, offers a rare moment of peace. This microcosm of nature reflecting the Taoist philosophy of yin and yang was landscaped by artists brought in from Suzhou, the great center of classical Chinese gardens. A pavilion with a diversity of glazed roof tiles, carved woodwork, and lattice windows overlooks a subtly patterned pebblestone courtyard and the miniature landscape. Light is balanced by shadow, and rugged limestone rocks (yang) are chosen for their pitted and convoluted surface, balancing the smooth surface of calm pools and quiet streams (yin). Shrubs symbolize human virtues: pine, bamboo, and winter-blooming plum represent strength, grace, and the renewal of life. Duly renewed, then, make your way towards the harbor and railyards, to Gastown (between Water and Hastings), the resuscitated red-brick, cobbled-street district of Vancouvers beginnings. This hucksters paradise of boutiques, souvenir shops, bars, and restaurants is frankly commercial in its polished quaintness, but with a certain corny charm. At the west end of Water Street is the worlds first (and probably only) monumental steam-powered clock, signaling the hours with a resounding whistle. On Maple Street, a no less handsome statue of Gassy Jack, a distinctly derelict-looking riverboat captain known to his mother as John Deighton, stands on a whisky barrel symbolizing the drinks he served to lumbermen, persuading them to build the town in 1867. Escape the crowds by heading east along the waterfront to the Campbell Avenue Docks, where you can watch the ocean-going fishermen unloading their haul or join them for a hearty meal in the local canteen. And if the Robson Square Courthouse whetted your appetite for the architecture of Arthur Erickson, continue this side trip out along Hastings Street towards Burnaby Mountain (actually only 400 m/1,200 ft high) and the striking campus of Simon Fraser University. The spectacular focus of student activity is the great mall of the Academic Quadrangle. Note the delicate play of light and shadow among stairways and terraces under the malls truss-supported glass roof. On the way back downtown, swing over to the B.C. Place, a vast concrete oval-domed sports stadium where the B.C. Lions play their football indoors. Stanley Park Covering a magnificent peninsula proudly dominating English Bay, this is undoubtedly one of North Americas finest city parks. Its forest of majestic Douglas firs, cedars, and Sitka spruce remind us it was once a government reserve providing mast and spar timbers for the Royal Navy. At the turn of the century, the town leased it as a park, named after Lord Stanley, Canadas governor general. His bronze statue is close to the southern entrance. Turn east off Georgia Street to take the 9-km (51/2-mile) drive looping the park. More bracing is the Sea Wall Promenade, where you can walk, jog, or ride a bicycle (available for rent at the park entrance). Passing the immaculate green playing field of Brockton Oval, you may spot a cricket game, reminding you this is British Columbia. A splendid group of Haida and Kwakiutl totem poles nearby illustrate the provinces other important cultural influence. On your way to Brockton Point, listen for the 9 oclock gun, a cannon that fires at 9pm, originally to warn fishermen of the fishing curfew. Turning west, youll pass on the seaward side a bronze statue oddly named Girl in a Wet Suit, a version of Copenhagens mermaid designed not to shock. Stop off at Prospect Point for a good view of oil tankers and grain cargo ships bound for Japan, China, or Russia. A totem pole marks the site where Captain Vancouver met with members of the Squamish tribe. At the Aquarium the star attractions are the dolphin show and the beluga whales, closely followed by polar bears. Equally fantastic are wolf-eels with crab-cracking jaws. Bears and monkeys seem to be having much less fun at the nearby zoo. You can walk marked trails to picnic at the pretty freshwater Beaver Lake, from which the beavers were deported after creating havoc with the water system. The parks popular sandy beaches run along the west shore of the peninsula. English Bay Get away from the city center with an excursion out to Point Grey. You can relax on the pleasant beaches; Wreck Beach is reserved for nudists. The grounds of the University of British Columbia, one of the most beautiful college campuses in North America, are nearby; the terraced Sedgwick Library and the Faculty Club rose garden are two notable gems set against a superb sea and mountain backdrop. The universitys pride and joy is the great Museum of Anthropology, out on Marine Drive at Point Grey. Arthur Erickson designed this noble glass and concrete-beam structure in 1972 as an explicit homage to the post-and-beam longhouses of the Northwest Coast Indians. Gracing the lawns are a magnificent group of totem poles and two cedarwood houses of the Haida Indians, built in the 1930s and faithful to a centuries-old technique and form. Inside the museum, alongside the artifacts of other Pacific civilizations, the rich culture of the coastal tribesHaida, Kwakiutl, Salish, Tlingit, and Tsimshianis beautifully displayed and illuminated in a space where the roof-glass seems to open the halls to the heavens. Compare the sturdy cedarwood canoes, built to negotiate the Pacifics coastal waters, with the lighter birchbark craft used by Eastern Woodlands Indians for the rivers of Ontario and Qubec. Many of the sculptures you see were incorporated into the structure of a house as posts and crossbeams. One Kwakiutl giant accompanied by two slaves, emphasizing the homeowners power and prestige, originally supported a massive central roof beam. Others represent the tribes totemic animals, such as the bear, protecting a human being in his bosom. Prehistoric stone carvings show the continuity of totemic styles. Some smaller figures, in soft black argillite stone, were turned out by Haida craftsmen specifically for 19th-century European tourists who found themselves caricatured in the carvings. Notice the huge wooden feast dishes, big as bathtubs, for dispensing food at the great potlatch ceremonies at which the tribes proclaimed their greatness by the munificence of their hospitality (see page 35). An important part of the collection is devoted to gold, silver, and copper jewelry, and wooden masks and ceremonial rattles. Many of these are kept in Galleries 6 and 7, but dont hurry past just because they look like the museums store rooms. Thats what they are, but this so-called visible storage system is a major innovation to make permanently available the museums thousands of art objects. Here youre encouraged to make your own discoveries, compare the work of different cultures around the world, and just admire the sheer wealth of allegedly primitive creativity. Just to the south of the museum, the Nitobe Memorial Gardens are a fine example of classical Japanese landscaping. Stone-lanterned paths lead you across hump-bridged ponds to a traditional teahouse set among Japanese maples and azaleas. The nearby Asian Centre, holds interesting exhibitions of the art, costumes, and photographs from China, Japan, India, Korea, and Indonesia. Return to the city center on Point Grey Road and stop off near Jericho Beach to visit the Old Hastings Mill Store (1575 Alma Road). Carried here lock, stock, and barrel from downtown in the 1930s, this is the towns oldest surviving buildinga post office, general store, and the only remnant from the original Gastown to have escaped the 1886 fire. It has been restored as a museum for turn-of-the-century paraphernalia. Closest that wholesome Vancouvrites get to being Bohemian, the Kitsilano neighborhood here is popular with students, young and old. In the little Vanier Park by the Burrard Bridge, youll find two interesting little museums and the MacMillan Planetarium. The Centennial Museum is devoted to local history and anthropology. The Maritime Museum traces the history of the Pacific port. Its showpiece is the Saint-Roch. This proud ship of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police, sailed clear around the North American continent via the Panama Canal and the Arctic Ocean, to plot a definitive Northwest Passage and hunt German U-boats on the way. The area where English Bay narrows into False Creek epitomizes Vancouvers taste for the good life. The once miserable wasteland of run-down warehouses, lumber-mills, factories, and railyards has been reclaimed not only for the upbeat commercial enterprises that are now a familiar feature of any Canadian city with a waterfront, but also as a handsome residential neighborhood. Under the Granville Bridge, Granville Island (really a triangular peninsula of landfill) is a cheerful collection of markets, cafs, galleries, boutiques, and theaters. Children love it not just for the toys in the Kids Only Market but also for the water playground around the fire hydrants and tons of rubber tires. False Creek has given its name to a charming neighborhood of architecturally inventive houses set around garden-courtyards and terraces. The east end of the creek was the site of Expo 86, perpetuated by the giant geodesic dome of Expo Centre, now operating as an exhibition hall and movie theatre. Squamish Highway The drive over Lions Gate Bridge to Vancouvers North Shore suburbs along Marine Drive and the Upper Levels Highway (Route 99) makes a gentle introduction to your exploration of the Pacific coast and interior. With a view of the ocean from a setting of tall Douglas firs and red cedars among boulders, and the occasional swift mountain stream, the elegant or rustic houses enjoy a civilized microcosm of the classical B.C. landscape. Route 99 turns north at Horseshoe Bay (landing area for the Vancouver Island ferry) to become the Squamish Highway for a spectacular 100-km (60-mile) drive up to Whistler Mountain. The Coastal Mountains come right down to the waters edge of the narrow Howe Sound, some forming a little archipelago in the sea. Stop off at Shannon Falls, a short walk away from the road on an easy gravel path over footbridges into the forest. You can picnic at the bottom of the cliff over which the water cascades. Famous for its August log-rolling contests, the town of Squamish makes a useful base for hiking tours into Garibaldi Provincial Park. The winter sports resort of Whistler offers excellent summer facilities, too: bicycles, kayak and river-rafting or more sedate swimming, golf, and tennis. Take the ski-lift for views across the Coastal Mountains or stroll around Lost Lakegood trout-fishingbut beware of a pretty yellow flower known as skunk cabbage that smells like its name when you pick it. As a delightful alternative to driving, you can travel from Vancouver to Squamish aboard the Royal Hudson 2860 steam train, a regular old puffer giving you a close-up view of mountain and forest. The round trip takes 6 hours, including a 2-hour stopover in Squamish allowing for a walk over to Shannon Falls. You also have the option of making one leg of the trip by sea (30 minutes longer). Board the morning train in North Vancouver at the bottom of Pember Street and return from Squamish on the MV Britannia ferryor vice versa, starting from Vancouvers Harbor Ferry dock at the bottom of Denman Street. Victoria Probably the most genteel city in all of North America, this town is of another age, another world. In its sheltered spot on the southeast tip of Vancouver Island, flowers seem to be growing everywhere. Geraniums in baskets hanging from five-bulb lamp-posts in the citys shopping streets; hydrangeas and roses in the lovingly tended gardens of the residential neighborhoods; shrubs and more exotic blooms in the citys parks and conservatories. In the month of February, while the rest of Canada is still huddled around log fires and radiators, even just across the Strait of Georgia in Vancouver, the people of Victoria are out in their parks and gardens for the annual flower-count. Yes, they count every blossom in town, and the figure regularly tops the 5 million mark. For Victoria is blessed with an exceptionally mild climate, with enough rain to water the flowers, and an annual average (they count everything in this town) of 2,183 hours of sun to give them their brilliant colors. Even the air in Victoria is sweet and gentle. Not surprisingly in a town attracting an affluent retirement community, the port is more pleasure- than work-oriented, filling its harbors with cruise liners and yachts, ferries and seaplanes. Parliament reminds the citizenry of the towns venerable past and more serious role as B.C.s legislative capital. Not that it detracts from the hallowed ritual of tea-time, act of obeisance to a more legendary than real Britain. Good for a chuckle, but if it highlights Victorias resistance to the rest of the planets hustle and bustle, so much the better. The town is small enough to get around on foot, but there are also horse-drawn carriages and red double-decker buses from London. The toy-like quality of Victoria is emphasized in its most imposing building, the Parliament. Built in 1897, it was certainly erected by someone with a playful sense of what might best evoke merry old England. Theres a bit of Londons St. Pauls Cathedral in the massive central dome topped, for want of a saint, by a gilded statue of Captain George Vancouver. The neo-Romanesque arched entrance recalls the British capitals Natural Science Museum, and the smaller-domed turrets suggest something between an Englishmans castle and his county council. The whole fairytale effect is enhanced at night when every contour of the Parliament is outlined by thousands of light bulbs. Inside, you can visit the debating chamber, unmistakably modeled on the House of Commons. In the great domes interior rotunda, painter George Southwells murals illustrate the four virtues that made British Columbia: Courage, as shown by George Vancouver confronting the Spanish at Nootka Sound in 1792; Spirit of Enterprise, with James Douglas establishing Fort Victoria for the Hudsons Bay Company in 1842; Work, by those who had to build the Fort; and Justice, meted out to the unruly mob engaged in the 1858 gold rush. Reasonably enough, the Parliament grounds include a bronze statue of Queen Victoria. It was she who chose the name of British Columbiaover New Caledonia, New Hanover, New Cornwall, or New Georgia. There is also a cenotaph, which is the focus of the annual mid-September Battle of Britain Parade. You can easily get the impression that this town is only nominally in Canada. Immediately east of the Parliament is the newly housed Provincial Museum, devoted to B.C.s fauna, flora, and a first-rate collection of Indian art. In front of the museum stands the 62-bell Netherlands Carillon Tower, a gift of Dutch-Canadians and tallest bell-tower in the country. Farther east is Thunderbird Park, home of the citys most important collection of Indian carvingsTsimshian and Haida totem poles, Salish sculpture of their chieftains, and a reconstructed Kwakiutl longhouse. The thunderbird, a mythical creature whose eyes flashed the lightning and whose beating wings rumbled the thunder, figures in many of the carvings in the park. At the sculpture workshop, you can see native peoples still practicing the ancient skills but with modern tools. Most of the parks woodcarvings date from the last half of the 19th century, but are restored and replaced when weather or worms get the better of them. At the corner of Dallas Road and Douglas Street is Kilometer 0 of the 7,800-km (4,680-mile) Trans-Canada Highway (ending up, with the aid of a ferry or two, in St. Johns, Newfoundland). It is here that the flowers and greenery of Victoria begin their most delightful assault, in Beacon Hill Park, an expanse of gently rolling flower-bordered lawns and groves of cedar and oak sloping down to the Pacific Ocean. Look for the 38-m (114-ft) totem pole carved by Chief Mungo Martin and believed to be the tallest in existence. At the northern end of Beacon Hill is the Crystal Gardens conservatory. You can have tea on the Upper Terrace overlooking tropical plants, exotic birds and repulsive reptiles. They are kept at a safe distance for the palm court tea dances. The Empress Hotel, farther north, is so renowned for its elegant servings of tea that it schedules three separate afternoon sittings everyday, and youre advised to make a reservation if you want to participate. The Empress was built in 1905 to serve passengers ferried across from the western terminus of the Canadian Pacific and is the archetypal grand old railway hotel. Theres a good replica of Victoria looking decidedly unamused in the Royal London Wax Museum (in the C.P.R. Steamship Terminal, near the Inner Harbour). The Royal British Columbia Museum houses prehistoric and native exhibits. The Inner Harbour is a pleasant place for loitering among the yachts and seaplanes. The harbors Pacific Undersea Gardens is an unusually well-presented natural aquarium that you view from beneath the sea. Besides the exquisite tropical specimens, theres a perfectly horrid giant octopus. The Maritime Museum in the old courthouse on Bastion Square contains some fine models and navigational paraphernalia of the merchant ships of yorewhalers, steamers, and old Hudsons Bay paddle-wheelers. The star attraction is the original Tilikum, a 13-m (40-ft) dugout canoe equipped with three sails to take Captain J. C. Voss in 1901 on a crazy three-year voyage round the world. He sailed from Victoria via Australia, New Zealand, Brazil, the Cape of Good Hope, and the Azores to land up in the English seaside town of Margate. The Emily Carr Gallery (1107 Wharf Street) presents changing exhibitions of Victorias best-known painter (see page 150), along with memorabilia and a short film about her life and work. The towns Art Gallery (Wilspencer Place, south of Fort Street) has works of the English Impressionist Walter Sickert, French watercolorist Eugne Boudin, and Dutch landscape-painter of the 17th century, Adriaen van de Velde. Drive 22 km (13 miles) north of town to a floral fairyland, Butchart Gardens. Robert Pim Butchart made a fortune out of Portland cement at the turn of the century and found himself stuck with an exhausted limestone quarry. His wife suggested turning it into a garden. The result is a bewilderingly beautiful phantasmagoria of fountains, lakes, rock gardens, trees, and flowers: the Sunken Garden, with symmetrical Trees of Life and rockery of gentian, saxifrage, and Lebanon candytuft; the Rose Garden, at its best in July, boasting 150 varieties of hybrid tea and floribunda roses; the Japanese Gardens, with scarlet azaleas, Himalayan blue poppies, weeping larch, and pond with a couple of cranes to bring you good luck; and the dreamy Italian Garden, cypresses singing a song of Tuscany around a cruciform basin filled with water lilies, where once was Mr. and Mrs. Butcharts tennis court. The gardens also put on firework displays and open-air theater. Vancouver Island Some 460 km (276 miles) long and averaging 80 km (48 miles) wide, the mountainous island is covered by the largest stand of lumber in the world, a boon to the provinces most important industry, but also a magnet for nature-lovers. They hike or flyfish for trout in the interior and then make for the superb sandy beaches along the islands west coast, to picnic or troll for Pacific salmon. For several thousand years, it has been a favored spot for Indian hunters and fishermen living around the sheltered coves and fjords that penetrate deep inland. Today, about 7,000 Salish and Wakash Indians still live on the island, well away from the towns and tourist resorts. Coming from Vancouver, board the car ferry at Horseshoe Bay for Nanaimo and head north on Highway 19. Turn west at Parksville to cross the island on Highway 4. This takes you through some of the provinces finest forestland: the red cedar of canoes, totem poles and longhouses; stately Douglas fir, mainstay of white mans bridges, boats, houses, and flagstaffs; and the good old Sitka spruce Christmas tree. About 20 km (12 miles) from Parksville, look for a signpost to Little Qualicum Falls. The well-marked walk loops around the upper falls tumbling into a ravine, then follows the river rapids along to the lower falls that crash into another rocky gorge. You can extend the hike along the river for a picnic or bracing swim at Cameron Lake. Highway 4 follows the lake shore to Cathedral Grove, a formidable stand of Douglas firs in MacMillan Provincial Park, donated to the public by a paper manufacturer as a gesture for government permission to exploit less accessible parts of the forest. Many of the firs, up to 76 m (230 ft) high, are more than 300 years old, the most ancient dating back to the 12th century. Excellent explanatory panels trace the growth of these majestic trees. Off the beaten track, youll steep yourself in the atmosphere of a truly primeval forest. Stock up on picnic supplies in the town of Port Alberni before driving on past Kennedy Lake and down to Pacific Rim National Park. Its sandy beaches are a delight, the powerful ocean-breakers being particularly admired by champion surfers. At the coast, Highway 4 turns north along one of the best resort areas, the self-explanatory Long Beach, 12 km (7 miles) of fine sand and first-class fishing waters. Hotels here provide you with cooking facilities for whatever fish youor a generous neighbormight catch. The boardwalk that rambles along Wickaninnish Bay will take you in and out of the coastal pine forest. Florencia Bay is a good bathing beach, while South Bay is the mecca for collectors of worry stones. These exquisite green, aubergine, or (most prized of all) jet black pebbles are gathered from hidden nooks and crannies, sorted for size, shape, and smoothness of texture until the ideal stone is located, a highly subjective appraisal. All others are discarded and the collector can be seen caressing the pebble, rubbing all worries away. From Combers Beach, you can spot sea lions basking out on the rocks, with not a worry in the world. For a change of pace, the sleepy town of Tofino is a community of ecologists, painters, and poets pursuing a style of life remote in every sense from the B.C. mainstream. Take a look at the Indian art gallery and performances at the experimental theater. On the northeast coast of the island, the coastal Cape Scott Province Park offers a variety of outdoor challenges and is extremely popular with scuba divers, kayakers, and canoeists. Departing from Port Hardy, B.C. Ferries organizes a daytime or overnight cruise through the spectacular Inside Passage, between the densely forested island coast and the nordic fjords of the B.C. mainland. Fraser and Thompson Canyons This stark mountain landscape of pine forest progressively thinning out to more arid, craggy canyons above the fast-flowing river is the pioneer country that made British Columbia. Driving east from Vancouver on the Trans-Canada Highway and following the Fraser River north to its tributary, the Thompson, you are backtracking along the great exploration route traced by intrepid fur traders from the prairies to the Pacific. Its also the route unerringly followed by millions of Pacific salmon between the ocean and their spawning grounds far inland. And, against all the odds of the terrain, its the route the railways chose to carry the riches of lumber, miningand the first touristsacross the continent. One of the most impressive sights on your trip will be the rivalry of the Canadian Pacific and Canadian National railways in action: endless trains of freight wagons, pulled and pushed often by two engines at either end for the tougher stretches, snake through the canyons on opposite banks of the river. Turn north at Hope to Yale, an old fort of the Hudsons Bay Company, terminus of its stern-wheelers unable to negotiate the rapids upriverat low water you can still see their ring tie-ups on the river bank. A little museum documents how this sleepy village of a few hundred inhabitants was once a gold rush boomtown and the major construction depot for the C.P.R. The strands of B.C.s destiny come together where the Fraser Canyon narrows at the torrential rapids of Hells Gate. For thousands of years, this point in the rivers descent to the ocean was the local native peoples favored fishing spot for the salmon swimming to their spawning grounds. It was here in 1808 that they helped NorWester fur trader Simon Fraser with his canoe past the rapids, over a swaying ropeway of vines strung along the canyon wall, enabling him to follow to the ocean the river that bears his name. In 1914, the C.N.R. blocked the salmons passage with rock-blasts through the canyon for the railway. The consequent 90 percent reduction of the annual sockeye salmon catch was remedied only 30 years later when multimillion-dollar steel-and-concrete channels were built for the fish. The native peoples are back again in areas like this, leaning far out over precarious rocky ledges to pluck with dip nets just a tiny amount of salmon, compared with the millions caught by the commercial fisheries at the Fraser estuary. Take the cable car across the gorge for a close-up view of the rapids. For a taste of what the fuss is all about, try a grilled salmon lunch at the restaurant by the cable-car terminal. The Thompson River joins the Fraser at Lytton. Before turning east on the Trans-Canada Highway to follow the Thompson, take a look (just north of town on Highway 12) at the dramatic effect of the confluence mixing the lime of the tributary with the clearer mountain waters of the Fraser. The drier Thompson valley soon takes on a more rugged aspect than the Fraser, with the sagebrush and lizards of a semi-desert, in places as beautifully desolate as a moonscape. The similarity with Americas southwest is reinforced by the ranches around Kamloops Lake. If youre here in October, you may see the spectacular salmon run, when the waters turn scarlet with thousands of sockeye. Take the turn-off on the Trans-Canada at Squilax Bridge to the junction of the Adams River and Shuswap Lake. On the Thompson River, summer visitors can try the bumpy thrills of the sockeye experience for themselves with some whitewater river rafting organized out of Vancouverdetails from the city tourist information office. Okanagan Valley Before heading east to the Rocky Mountains, turn south on Highway 97 to the lovely Okanagan resort country (about four hours east of Vancouver) for golf, tennis, swimming, hiking, camping, and fishing amid vineyards, orchards, and dozens of trout lakes. The Okanagan River itself widens into an elongated lake with excellent sandy beaches, sailing, and other water sports facilities centered around Kelowna. Across the lake at Westbank, among other orchard towns, you pay for what you pick: apricots, peaches, cherries, plums, pears, and apples. At the southern end of the lake, the resort town of Penticton stages a Peach Festival at the end of July. Sunny Okanagan Valley is one of only two wine-growing areas in Canada (the other being in Niagara Peninsula, Ontario). Ten wineries propose tastings and sales of their not undrinkable dry whites and dry reds along with some more refined wines from the nobler European varieties: Pinot Noir, Cabernet Sauvignon, Chardonnay, Gewrztraminer, and Riesling. Among the wineries you can visit are Calona and Uniacke Estate in Kelowna, Mission Hill in Westbank and Gray Monk at Okanagan Centre. Hottest spot in the region, down by the American border, is Osoyoos, nestling in the mountains around a good swimming lake and pocket-sized but honest-to-goodness desert complete with cactus, sagebrush, rattlesnakes, coyotes, and horned toads. THE ROCKIES AND PRAIRIES In this region, the great Canadian outdoors really comes into its own. The national parks of the Rocky Mountains provide unrivaled opportunities for exhilarating contacts with a wilderness where you can really escape from your fellow man: camping and hiking through the forests; fishing in the myriad lakes and rivers; canoeing and whitewater rafting in the mountain torrents. And skiing, downhill and cross-country, has been greatly enhanced by the ultra-modern facilities installed for Calgarys 1988 Winter Olympics. Alberta, Saskatchewan, and Manitoba form the Prairie Provinces, sharing the same rugged climate. The full meaning of Canadas wide open spaces becomes instantly apparent here, in the vast stretches of wheat field reaching to the horizon. The eye is attracted not by some craggy obstacle but by the play of a sudden wind sweeping across the plain. The sky is spectacular, offering magnificent dawns and sunsets. Play the farmers game of watching the weather come and go. Stop in the provincial capitals of Edmonton, Regina, and Winnipeg for a glimpse of the regions history and culture. Monuments and museums show how the buffalo-hunting Mtis, the descendants of Indians and French fur traders, struggled in vain against Anglo farmers from Ontario, themselves subsequently relayed by waves of Eastern European immigrants brought in to exploit the grain wealth of the prairies. One sidetrip in Manitoba touches on another Canadian adventure, up to Churchill on Hudson Bay, the center of the great fur trading companys northern activities. A bonus in autumn is the rare southern appearance of polar bears. Rocky Mountains If theres one region for which you should reserve most of your superlatives and stock up on rolls of film, this is it. For all visitors to western Canada, whether they be sturdy hikers, skiers, and mountaineers, or more easygoing loafers seeking to rest their tired bones in a hot springs spa or bask beside a cool, sparkling lake, the sprawling national parks of the Rocky Mountains are an undisputed imperative. Straddling the border of British Columbia and Alberta, the North American continents grandest range of mountains stretches from the Yukon Territory down to the Mexican frontier. For the tourist, the abundance of superbly administered national parksMount Revelstoke, Glacier, Kootenay, Yoho, Banff, and Jaspergive the Canadian Rockies an edge over their U.S. counterpart, to which thousands of visitors from south of the border will testify. (Some of the national parks charge a nominal entrance feecheck at the park entrance, as you may be stopped by park-rangers later on. You can buy a one-day permit, or an annual permit that admits the vehicle and occupants to all national parks.) The stark drama of the mountain landscapes derives from the fact that, in geological terms, the Rockies were born yesterday and have not had the time to settle into more stable forms. Waves of sedimentary rock lifted by vast thrust faults less than 60 million years ago have created a variety of striking silhouettes: the battlements of a medieval fortress, sawteeth, or single pyramids like the Swiss Matterhorn. The highest peak in the Canadian Rockies is Mount Robson, 4,320 m (12,972 ft), just inside B.C. Mount Revelstoke The highway through the Monashee and Selkirk mountains to Mount Revelstoke National Park follows the Eagle River and the route of the C.P.R. on the crucial stretch that enabled the railway to break through the Rockies. At Craigellachie, right beside the road, about 25 km (15 miles) east of Shuswap Lake, a granite monolith marks the spot where the eastern and western sections linked up to form Canadas first transcontinental railway. At 9:22am on November 7, 1885, surrounded by top-hatted dignitaries and grimy overalled laborers, C.P.R. boss Donald Smith tucked in his flowing white beard and hammered home the famous Last Spikeafter misjudging his first swing and bending a first spike over double. Leave the Trans-Canada 11/2 km (1 mile) east of Revelstoke town to drive the winding Summit Road up Mount Revelstoke, 2,120 m (6,370 ft), the only mountain in Canada that you can climb by car. This is the cozy way to watch the parks landscape change from dense lowland forest, through alpine meadows dotted with wild flowers, to the bleak tundra of the high country. From the top you look out over the Columbia and Illecillewaet river valleys and back to the Monashee Mountains. There are no campgrounds inside the park, but if youre planning to tent overnight along the 65 km (39 miles) of clearly marked hiking-trails, check in with the park administration office in downtown Revelstoke (P.O. Box 350, Revelstoke, B.C. VOE250; tel. 250-837-7500). This is the place to get your detailed maps and fishing permit. In the creeks and lakes, youll find an abundance of troutrainbow, brook, brown, cut-throat, and red-spotted Dolly Vardenas well as whitefish, char, and bass. Nature-lovers may spot elk, moose, and mountain goat, bird-watchers look for grey jay, blue grouse, and golden eagle, while everyone should watch out for black bear. The Trans-Canada continues through the jagged mountains of Glacier National Park, which counts over 400 glaciers within its boundaries. Rogers Pass was named after the major who found this corridor in 1882, thus enabling the C.P.R. to cut through the avalanche-prone Selkirk Mountains. It was also the toughest obstacle to clear for completion of the Trans-Canada Highway in 1962. Yoho National Park From the railway depot and sawmill town of Golden, the highway turns east to one of the prettiest of B.C.s national parks, in the mountains and quiet lakes around the Yoho and Kicking Horse rivers. Buy your food supplies at the parkside town of Field and cut back to the signposted Emerald Lake turnoff. Just inside the woods is a pleasant picnic area beside the natural bridge, a massive slab of rock through which the swift waters of the Kicking Horse River have forced a channel. A salt-lick just past the bridge often attracts moose at dawn and dusk. Drive on up to Emerald Lake, a place of sheer magical peace, mirroring the mountains in its perfectly still green waters. With only one secluded hotel on its shores, the pearshaped lakes tranquillity is less troubled by noisy tour groups than some of the more popular Rocky Mountain resorts. The lake path makes a delightful two-hour ramble through woodland, giving you a good chance of spotting some of the parks small wildlife, notably some very chubby brown porcupine and an occasional beaver. Back on the Trans-Canada, the turn-off 6 km (31/2 miles) after Field takes you past the park information center to a steep winding route through the pine forests of the Yoho Valley. Signposted on the right, 13 km (8 miles) into the valley is a short walk to the foot of the spectacular Takakkaw Falls. Takakkaw is an Indian word for magnificent, a fair description of the waters spilling out of the outflow of the Daly Glacier. Unlike many waterfalls, this one is at its most spectacular on the hottest summer afternoons, when the glacier ice melts. For a panoramic view of the glacier, take the Highline Trail 1 km (1/2 mile) south of the falls, starting out from the Whiskey Jack Hostel. On the way back, stop south of the confluence of the Yoho and Kicking Horse rivers for a view of the Spiral Tunnels. Watch trains entering and reappearing from the upper of two tunnels bored into the mountain to form a figure 8. The lower spiral is visible from the Trans-Canada Highway. This engineering feat was necessary to overcome the steep gradient of the approach to Kicking Horse Pass. At the parks eastern exit, youll see where geologist James Hector, member of an 1858 expedition mapping the major passes through the Rockies, was kicked senseless by a pack horsethus the name of the pass. From Field, you can ride through the tunnels to Lake Louise. Lake Louise The fairytale setting of this blue, blue lake with its monumental railway hotel, Chteau Lake Louise, has made it the mecca of thousands of sightseers every year. The village (3 km/2 miles east) is very much a tourist-trap, but the lake (named after a daughter of Queen Victoria) and its surroundings retain their magic. From the hotel terrace, before breakfast and the first crowds, look out onto the pine trees and snowy peaks of Fairview mountain to the south and the Beehive to the north, with the dazzling white Victoria glacier producing startling reflections on the shimmering surface of the lake. Give the mob the slip by walking along clearly marked paths to the far end of the lake, with some pleasant teahouses on the way. The path continues to the Plain of Six Glaciers, requiring more stamina. Take the mountain road 14 km (81/2 miles) south to Moraine Lakenice drive, wonderful all-day hiketo view the sawtooth skyline of the Valley of the Ten Peaks and the exhilarating climax of the lakes clear turquoise waters. For a view of the whole area, take the cable car from Lake Louise up Mount Whitehorn. Banff National Park The first and most famous of Canadas national parks began, as so many things in this country, with the railways. When the C.P.R. reached Banff in 1883, the Rockies were suddenly opened up to public access, and the government decided, two years later, to preserve the regions beauty by declaring Banff a national park. After three railway workers discovered hot sulfur springs bubbling from the earth, their bosses built one of their grandest castle-hotels, the Banff Springs, a monument to be visited even if youre not staying there. The turreted edifice set down in the Bow River Valley has something of the fairytale castles of Ludwig of Bavaria. Take a canoe out on the river. If youre feeling less energetic, take the waters at the Cave and Basin Springs, 3 km (2 miles) west of the hotel, or the Upper Hot Springs, a short drive south. The springs are 29C (85F) in winter, rising to 42C (108F) in summer. The eight-minute cable car ride from Upper Hot Springs up Sulfur Mountain (2,500 m/7,500 ft) will give you a panoramic view of the mountains around the Bow Valley. One of many fine excursions is the drive along Bow Valley Parkway (Highway 1A), then a hike along the marked trail beside the rapids to the lower and upper waterfalls in Johnston Canyon. Back on the Trans-Canada Highway towards Lake Louise, look to the east for the crenellated silhouette of Castle Mountain, 3,000 m (9,000 ft) high. Icefields Parkway This 233-km (140-mile) drive on Highway 93, up the spine of the mountain range from Lake Louise to Jasper, gives a rich sense of the Rockies varied beautiesglaciers, waterfalls, lakes, and canyons. Take a full day so that you have time to explore some of the sights on foot. Stop first at the Crowfoot Glacier, where you can see the foots two remaining toes, the third having broken away. The mass of ice facing you is 55 m (165 ft) thick. At Bow Summit, leave the Parkway at the signpost to the viewpoint overlooking the lovely Peyto Lake, a deep turquoise at the height of summer. If you have time, stop at Kilometer 119 on the Parkway, to hike up the winding path to Parkers Ridge (2,185 m/6,560 ft) above pretty alpine meadows overlooking the Saskatchewan Glacier, the beginning of the great North Saskatchewan River that ends up in Hudson Bay. Inside Jasper National Park, put on good rubber or crepesoled shoes to walk out onto the ice of Athabasca Glacier, part of the Columbia Icefield. You can also venture onto the ice sheet in a snowmobile. Note the rock debris or rubble (moraine in the language of glaciologists) in front of the glacier showing that the Athabasca is retreatinga hundred years ago it reached to the other side of the Parkway. At the Parkways Kilometer 200 mark, take Highway 93A to Athabasca Falls. A comfortable boardwalk leads you on an informative nature walk right up to where the mighty river plunges over the narrow gorge. The old fur trading post of Jasper is now a refreshingly peaceful resort town with a grand park lodge and fine facilities for rafting, canoeing, camping and other mountain sports. Take the Jasper Tramway ride up Whistlers Mountain for a view of the Rockies highest peak, Mount Robson. One of the most attractive excursions is the drive along Maligne Canyon. Stop off to look down into the sheer limestone gorge at the roiling waters, sudden cascades, and tranquil pools. At the end of the canyon is Maligne Lake, where the great attraction is a boat cruise around the picturesque Spirit Island. Alberta This province of ranches and oil derricks likes to cultivate the image of Canadas Wild West. If its politics are often conservative (opponents compare some of the leaders with the provinces cherished collection of dinosaurs) they are of the adventurous brand favoring Calgarys rodeos and the commercial extravaganza of Edmontons celebrated mammoth shopping mall. With the discovery of huge oil fields after World War II, Albertas economy boomed, the population exploded, and confidence soared. The enthusiasm is dampened occasionally by downturns in world oil prices, but the atmosphere remains decidedly cheerful. Alberta is very conscious of its geology. Alternating 600 to 200 million years ago between dry land and sea, the region developed a plant and animal life that decayed to form the oil, coal, and natural gas at the base of the provinces modern prosperity. Subsequent floods and earthquakes left the parched Badlands of the Red Deer River Valley as a protective crust, preserving the skeletons of the dinosaurs. They were discovered by surveyors looking for coal seams. Calgary In this part of the world, in past eras, gold rushes created cities out of a wasteland overnight and just as quickly returned them to dust. Soaring Middle East oil prices seemed to do the same thing for Calgary in the 1970s, but the shining downtown skyscrapers that shot up then do not look as if they are about to crumble. Not that Calgary was a wasteland when the post-World War II oil boom began, but it was little more than a cow town, better known for bronco-busting rodeos than business acumen. Population more than doubled from 280,000 in 1961 to 590,000 20 years later, chasing hard behind the provincial capitaland arch-rivalEdmonton. The town now boasts a population of 944,000. Hotshot bankers have moved in to handle the new wealth, polishing up but not eclipsing the frontier image. While hand-tooled cowboy boots and Stetson hats are still popular, the business suits between the two are increasingly sophisticated, even Italian in cut, leaving the string ties and blue jeans for the Stampede. The ten days of the Calgary Stampede in the first half of July are, by any standards, anthropological or purely hedonistic, a phenomenon to be experienced. Cowboy hyperbole demands that it be known as the Greatest Outdoor Show on Earth, a title dating back to its beginnings in 1912. The Stampede was originally conceived to show all the techniques and excitement of rounding up cattle on the prairies. Today, at Stampede Park, it does indeed stage agricultural and garden exhibitions, displays of Indian crafts and dancing, and all the sideshows of a country fair. But after the grand opening parade of baton-twirling majorettes, cowboys, costumed Indians, champion steers, and smiling stars of the chamber of commerce, the great attraction remains the rodeo. Bareback riding and bronco-busting, bull riding and steer-wrestling, calf-roping, and Indian buffalo riding culminate in marvelous chuck-wagon races. The Rangeland Derby, as it is known, races four-horse wagons like those used to bring food out to the cowboy on the range during roundup time. The chuck-wagon races are said to have originated when the last crew back in town had to buy all the drinksnow the prize pot totals over $200,000. Just as much fun as the official events are the square dancing in the streets, firework displays, barbecue dinners, and flapjack breakfasts. Spend a more sober moment in the fascinating Glenbow Museum (130 Ninth Avenue S.E.). Beautifully arranged exhibits of furniture, costumes, utensils, and weapons give a vivid picture of Alberta life, from the pioneers log-cabin homesteads to the modern artifacts of oil-drillers, railway-builders, and miners. One evocative exhibit of the Great Depression of the 1930s is a farm girls party dress bejeweled with scores of safety pins arranged in patterns. The life of Ojibwa and Cree Indians is displayed in tepees, magnificent buffalo robes, and beaded buckskin, dance masks, and snowshoes. The shops and offices of the downtown skyscrapers are linked by a network of all-weather bridges and subterranean galleries. One of the main shopping centers is the four-block Stephen Avenue Mall. For a view of the towns steel and glass urban canyons and the Rocky Mountains looming on the western horizon, take the elevator to the observation deck of the 207-m (623-ft) Calgary Tower. Immediately below it is a revolving restaurant. Winter sports enthusiasts will appreciate the new facilities created for the 1988 Olympics. The Saddledome out at Stampede Park is equipped for ice hockey and figure skating. A speed-skating rink has been installed in the Olympic Oval on the University of Calgary campus, which gains attractive new student residences from the Athletes Village. On Bowfort Road 15 minutes west of town, the Canada Olympic Park has built two ski-jumps and the countrys first combined bobsled and luge run. Most popular with the tourists are the new downhill runs at the Nakiska ski area on Mount Allan, 80 km (48 miles) southwest on Highway 40, and the cross-country trails at Canmore (west on the Trans-Canada Highway) at the foot of Mount Rundle near the entrance to Banff National Park. Drumheller The area around this old coalmining town is famous for the prehistoric fossils and remarkably complete remains of dinosaurs whose stamping grounds were the Badlands of the Red Deer River Valley. The 130-km (78-mile) drive northeast of Calgary on Highway 9 takes you through wheat-growing country where you may see the farming communities of Hutterites, an austere religious sect originally from Slovakia, often persecuted for their pacifism. The women wear traditional dirndl costumes with headscarf and apron, while their husbands, dressed all in black with broad-rimmed hats, cultivate the heavy beards of Old Testament prophets. Drumhellers Dinosaur Trail places fossils and life-size models of the beasts in their original habitatthough you have to imagine a luxuriant humid jungle in place of the present-day arid desert. Looping 48 km (29 miles) round the Red Deer River, the trail starts out at Drumhellers fossil museum, 335 First Street, devoted mainly to the regions geology. But for a most exciting confrontation with the prehistoric world of dinosaurs, make for the new Royal Tyrrell Museum of Palaeontology on the Midland provincial parks North Dinosaur Trail. This beautifully organized museum, drawing on the most modern audiovisual techniques, is named after Joseph Tyrrell, the geologist who made the first discovery of Albertas 65-million-year-old dinosaurs while surveying coal seams along the Red Deer River in 1884. Drawing on some of the finest of the 200 creatures unearthed in the area, the Tyrrell museum recreates jungle environments for superbly reconstructed skeletons and models, including Tyrrells Albertosaurus, the awesome Tyrannosaurus rex, measuring 15 m (45 ft) long and 6 m (19 ft) tall in its cotton socks, and the tiny but most lovable of all, a duck-billed Lambeosaurus, just 3 m (10 ft) tall, followed by her baby. Edmonton You can see the source of the provincial capitals wealth as you drive in from the airport. On the southern outskirts of town on Highway 2 are the derricks and grasshopper pumps that have characterized Edmonton since the oil strike at the great well of Leduc Number 1 in 1947. But the town has created another treasure trove in the astounding West Edmonton Mall (Stony Plain Road, Highway 16), a shopping center to end all shopping centers, complete with a waterpark and attracting as many as 140,000 customers on a busy day, 40 per cent of them from the United States. If you want a view of the whole city and the North Saskatchewan River on your way home, stop off at Vista 33, the observation level of the telephone building. Saskatchewan Though revenues from oil, uranium, coal, and natural gas now approach agricultural income, Saskatchewan is still known as Canadas bread basket. During the Depression, it was the countrys poorest province, close to starvation. But that all changed with the timely rise of local boy John Diefenbaker as the first federal Prime Minister from Saskatchewan. Farmers wont ever forget the deals he got for their high-grade bread wheat in Russia and China. You can see the monuments right across the Prairieshuge cathedral-like grain elevators. Regina The queen Latinized in the provincial capitals name is, of course, Victoria. The citys decorum would please her. Its been cleaned up considerably since the first settlers arrived in the 1880s and found the banks of the Wascana Creek littered with hundreds of buffalo bones. Indian hunters used to dry their buffalo meat and stretch the hides by the creek, and left the bones in a heap. The town was known as Pile of Bones until they were ground up for fertilizer. Today, youll find the buffalo, along with other regional wildlife, prehistoric and present-day, in the Museum of Natural History, on Albert Street. The museum is south of the city center in the very pretty Wascana Park, one of the few places in southern Saskatchewan where youll see any trees. The creek has been dammed to form a lake, with a bird sanctuary out on Willow Island. Also in the park is the provincial Legislative Building, with an interesting portrait gallery of Indian chiefs on the ground floor. On Lakeview Drive is the Diefenbaker Homestead, brought here from near Saskatoon to give a vivid insight into the simple country life led by Saskatchewans most famous son before he went off to Ottawa to show them Yanks and Ruskies a thing or two. Headquarters of the famous Mounties in the 1880s until moved to Ottawa, Regina keeps the Royal Canadian Mounted Police College as a major training center (north of the airport at the end of 11th Avenue). Visit the barracks, crime laboratories, and Centennial Museum, which traces Mountie history from the first clashes with gold-rush panhandlers to wartime reconnaissance and latter-day counter-espionage. The old mess hall is now the Little Chapel on the Square, where the stained-glass windows portray not saints but Mounties, notably a reveille bugler and guard in mourning. At Government House (Dewdney Avenue, corner of Pasqua Street), you can see dramatizations of Louis Riels treason trial. Manitoba Flat the province may be, but it offers an astonishingly rich ethnic diversity in its rural and urban populations. In addition to Anglo-Saxon and French stock brought here by the fur trade, late 19th-century immigration campaigns have given Manitoba thriving communities of Ukrainian, German, Jewish, Polish, Dutch, Hungarian, Italian, and even Icelandic origin, with more recent arrivals from Asia and the Philippines. Winnipeg Of the provinces population, well over half (681,000) lives in its capital. In addition to the inevitable government bureaucracy, the town has a stalwart business community and proud cultural life, especially in modern art, ballet, and classical music. Manitobas many ethnic cultures provide the basis for its Folklorama festival, which every summer attracts some 40 pavilions featuring a variety of national cuisines, folklore, craftwork, and costumes. The towns artistic and commercial worlds have joined forces in recent years to preserve the old business districts handsome turn-of-the-century architecture as a lively shopping and restaurant neighborhood, north of Notre-Dame Avenue between Princess Street and Main Street. The Old Market Square Warehouse District, as its now known, boasts many fine office buildings and warehouses inspired by the great Chicago School, including the Canadian Wests first skyscraper, the 1903 Royal Tower (504 Main). On Old Market Square itself, on summer weekends, youll find a colorful farmers market alongside stalls of antique bric-a-brac and craftware. Its vital stake in the grain and commodities market gives Winnipeg a strong financial as well as architectural affinity with Chicago, as you can see on a visit to the trading floor of the Commodity Exchange, open to the public at 360 Main (5th floor). This is just one of the towns many modern skyscrapers clustered around the commercial hub of Portage and Main, which has the reputation of being the windiest spot in Canada. In the splendid Manitoba Museum of Man and Nature (190 Rupert Avenue), prehistoric and present-day animals are presented in beautifully recreated environments of Arctic wastelands, tundra, woodland, and waterfalls, complete with bird sounds, eerie wolf howls, or the terrifying roar of a forest fire. The provinces ethnic groups are shown in traditional costume and old homesteads; special emphasis is given to Manitobas Indians and a Mtis buffalo hunt. Be sure to walk around the reconstructed decks of the 17th-century Nonsuch ketch that pioneered Hudson Bays involvement in the fur trade. The museum adjoins the Centennial Center, home of the Winnipeg Symphony Orchestra, Manitoba Opera Association and Royal Winnipeg Ballet. If youre not around for the ballet performances there from October to May, look out for the summer Ballet in the Park shows in Assiniboine Park, west of town off the Trans-Canada Highway. The Winnipeg Art Gallery, in a strikingly designed angular structure at 300 Memorial Boulevard, has an interesting permanent collection of modern Canadian and American artists, Inuit sculpture, and usually first-rate seasonal exhibitions. The old French-speaking community of St-Boniface, now a Winnipeg suburb, is on the east side of the Red River. Its Avenue Tach boasts the citys oldest building, the 1846 convent of the Grey Nuns. Its now the parish museum, devoted in part to the life of Louis Riel. Next door, youll find his simple grave in the cemetery of St-Boniface basilica, rebuilt behind its white stone faade after a recent fire. Children enjoy the 2-hour ride in the four wooden coaches and caboose of the Prairie Dog Central steam train, from St. James Station to and from Grosse Isle, 25 km (15 miles) northwest of town. If you feel like a day at the beach, drive northeast on Highway 59 to Lake Winnipeg, where the most convenient swimming is at Grand Beach. Churchill This historic port offers a unique opportunity (with simple but comfortable hotel accommodations) to visit Hudson Bay. You can see beluga whales in summer, polar bears in the autumn, and, if youre around at the spring or autumn equinox, the northern lights of the aurora borealis. The easiest way in is by plane, but if you want to see at ground level the Manitoba lakes and plains that fur traders crossed in the days of old, take the VIA train from Winnipeg for a seven-day excursion. Even at the height of summer, take warm clothes for the brisk evenings. The little town has a true frontier atmosphere to it. The Hudsons Bay Company established a trading post here in 1717, and its store on the main street is still the place to get camping and hiking gearor long underwear if a sudden blizzard blows up. Inuit craft shops offer not souvenir junk but genuine native handwork, and leather and fur goods that do not infringe protected-species laws. The Eskimo Museum gives a good insight into Inuit life and art around Hudson Bay. Wildlife tours around the bay and across the otherwise inaccessible hinterland are organized in giant-wheeled or half-track tundra buggies (half- and full-day excursions or overnight camping trips). Several boat tours explore the bay for close-up sightings of beluga whale and cruise over to the ruins of Fort Prince of Wales on a promontory at the mouth of the Churchill River. The Hudsons Bay Companys massive stone fortress surrendered to the French navigator La Prouse in 1782, without firing a single shot. If you want to explore on your own, rent a car and drive round the harbor and its monumental grain elevators on the way to Cape Merry for a good view of the fort, especially at sunset. Take your binoculars to follow the beluga whales that swim with the summer tide in and out of the river estuary. THE NORTH Every country needs its mythic place, and Canadas is the fabled North, the icy wasteland in which the country and the world like to cloak the national image. But theres a fascinating reality North of 60, as locals call the territories above the 60 latitude, ignored until recently by everybody but the Inuit and other native people who live there, plus a few explorers and miners. Even today, if they ever staged a football game between the Yukon and the Northwest Territories, the whole population could be comfortably seated in the stadium. But more and more adventurers from the outside head for the Yukons rugged mountains or the Northwest Territories eerily beautiful Arctic wastes (the northernmost point is just 830 km/500 miles from the Pole). In the old Klondike boomtowns, people find a whiff of romance from the great gold rush of 1897. Lovers of the outdoors track the last free-roaming bison herds or fly in for the challenge of fishing the trout and grayling in Great Slave and Great Bear lakes. Access by road takes several days, but there are plenty of airlines serving the Whitehorse; Yellowknife; and Frobisher Bay (for access, via Pangnirtung, to the Auyuittuq National Park on Baffin Island). The Yukon The Klondike gold rush did more than fire the western worlds imagination with scores of novels, epic poems, and filmsit immediately opened up a whole vast territory with such mundane services as railways, roads, telephones, electricity, and hot and cold running water. In a subarctic land of soaring mountains and elongated glacial lakes beside the great Yukon River, todays tourists can thank yesterdays prospectors for using part of their paydirt for some essential creature comforts. Close to the original action and still providing the most vivid testimony to the Klondike days, the boomtown of Dawson City yielded in 1951 to the transportation and communications center of Whitehorse as territorial capital. Whitehorse The town grew up as the terminus where prospectors transferred from the Skagway train to the Yukon River steamboats and is now the junction of the Alaska and Klondike highways. Though a thoroughly modern town with a population of 23,000, the Yukon capital is proud of its Old Log Church on Elliot Street and some three-story log cabins it calls wooden skyscrapers. One of them houses the MacBride Museum (First Avenue), with a good collection of gold rush memorabilia and exhibits of Yukon wildlife. You can visit a sternwheel riverboat, the S.S. Klondike, moored at the end of Second Avenue. Upriver, 3 km (2 miles) south of town, take a 2-hour cruise through Miles Canyon on the M.V. Schwatka. At Black Mikes Gold Mine, a 30-km (18-mile) drive south of Whitehorse, you can try your own hand at panning for gold. Dawson City A days drive from Whitehorse along the Klondike Highway, the old boomtown counts scarcely 1,000 inhabitants today, but the national parks system has done a nice tongue-in-cheek job of reconstructing the monuments of its heyday. The history of Dawson City is further celebrated by a couple of annual events. This is the place to be in the week of August 17, Discovery Day, for the Klondike River raft-races, costumed street-parades, music, and dancing. If you miss it, look out for the Outhouse-On-Wheels race at the beginning of September. One of the towns major year-round attractions is Diamond Tooth Gerties Gambling Hall, an old-fashioned (and legal) casino, where red-gartered dancing girls kick it up to a honky-tonk piano. The gaudy Palace Grand Theatre is famous for its vaudeville, Gaslight Follies. St. Pauls Church shows a good film on the Klondike days, while Dawson City Museum gives you all the inside information about gold-mining, displaying prospectors tools and paraphernalia. Behind the museum is the log cabin of Robert Service, the diggers bard celebrated for The Shooting of Dan McGrew and The Cremation of Sam McGee. He himself avoided the tough life of the gold-miner for a cozy job at the local bank. And next door is the home of Jack London, who made more money from his novels of the wild North than from the stake he worked on at nearby Henderson Creek. Both literary shrines hold readings from the masters works. Kluane National Park About 150 km (90 miles) west of Whitehorse on the Alaska Highway, the entrance to this wilderness reserve is at Haines Junction. The parks St. Elias Mountain Range offers a challenge to climbers, including the highest peak in Canada, Mount Logan. Youll find moose, timber wolves, black bear, and grizzlies here. For safetys sake, check in at the park reception center and get maps and information on the hiking trails covering 240 km (144 miles) of challenging terrain. The vast Kluane icefield system is made up of some 2,000 glaciers, and you can hike right to the rim of the spectacular Kaskawulsh Glacier from Kluane Lake on the eastern edge of the park. Bird-watchers spot eagles, falcons, and hawks. Fishermen come for the trout, grayling, and lake salmon. Northwest Territories If you feel drawn by a rendezvous with the Midnight Sun, make for these immense lands covering one-third of Canadas total surface, where, compared to the icy expanses inside the Arctic Circle, the tundra passes for lush meadowland. The summer, when temperatures climb to a comfortable 21C (70F) in Mackenzie District, offers the blessed privilege of a dazzling explosion of wild flowers. Beluga whales come out to play around Baffin Island. In autumn, the magical northern lights of the aurora borealis are at their most brilliant. Yellowknife On the north shore of Great Slave Lake, the territorial capital is a modern industrial gold-mining center serving as a convenient base from which campers and fishermen explore the interior. On June 21, when the sun just wont go down, the town proposes a golfers (and caddys) midsummer nights dream with the Midnight Golf Tournament. Even non-golfers pour in for the all-night parties. All through the summer, there is open-air theater in Petitot Park, To gain an insight into the lives of Arctic-dwelling Inuit and Dene Indians of the Mackenzie Valley, visit Prince of Wales Northern Heritage Centre. In the shops, the native craftwork is of particularly high (and authentic) quality, and reasonably priced. Head over to the Bush Pilots Monument for a good view of the whole town and the lake. Bush pilots will be your best help for getting out to some of the countrys most-touted trout-fishing on Great Bear Lake or other less accessible lakes Wood Buffalo National Park Straddling the Alberta border, this park presents a unique opportunity to see herds of the rare shaggy humpbacked wood buffalo, 5,000 at last count, in its natural habitat. You also have a chance of spotting the endangered whooping crane. Park headquarters at Fort Smith (fly in from Yellowknife or Edmonton) organize camping field trips and photo-safaris. Auyuittuq National Park Flights from Montral or Toronto (2,200 km/1,320 miles) take you up to Baffin Island and the worlds only national park inside the Arctic Circle. Change planes at Frobisher Bay for the park entrance at Pangnirtung. In its lovely mountain setting on the Cumberland Sound, this peaceful Inuit town is a good place to buy Inuit carvingsand to start your viewing of harbor seals and the elusive beluga whales. Inside Auyuittuq, (explored by dog-sled or on foot,) youll find plenty of opportunities to see the Arctics summer flora and fauna, most amazing among them the beautiful white fox and formidable polar bears. Up on the parks Penny Highlands, ponder the thought that the ice on the Penny Ice Cap is a left-over from the last Ice Age that ended about 20,000 years ago. Where to Go Cancn When the Mexican government decided to improve its economy by developing its tourist industry, a totally new, tailor-made, high-class resort was the aim; the major decision was where its site should be. Many factors were taken into account before a short list of locations was entered into a computer. When the final results were correlated, Cancn was top of the list. This location had many natural attributes in its favor. Twenty-seven kilometers (17 miles) long and less than a kilometer wide, the island is shaped like the number seven, and separated from the Yucatn peninsula by only 10 m (33 ft) of water. Its eastern shoreline is one long beach of fine white sand (there are seven named beaches along the strip), which is washed by the translucent azure waters of the Caribbean. Between the island and the mainland is Laguna Nichupt, a huge seawater lagoon bounded by mangrove swamps that are havens to numerous species of wildlife. Today a string of hotels have taken much of the beachfront real estate; the balance given over to bars, nightclubs, and shopping malls. On the lagoon side, watersports and eco-tours abound in the calmer shallow waters. Blue signs denote public beach access and there are no restrictions, so you can walk the islands full length without concerns about trespass. All in all, Cancn has everything needed for the perfect relaxing vacation. Finding your way around the resort couldnt be simpler. There is only one main thoroughfare, Kukulkn Boulevard, running the full length of the island, and every hotel and attraction is only a few strides from it. The addresses of most hotels or restaurants will include their position on Kukulkn Boulevard in kilometers; the farther south, the bigger the number. This guide explores the island from north to south, giving the exact location of attractions in kilometers to make it easy for you to find what you need. You could rent a vehicle of some sort to travel back and forth to your hotel, but there is a very reliable and inexpensive bus service stopping regularly, and usually directly outside the major hotels, at intervals along the route. The buses run from early morning to midnight. Crossing from the mainland onto the islandinto the area called the Hotel Zonethe lagoon with its rich mangrove forest is on the right. You may see a passing pleasure-boat on the water, or a jet-ski convoy on the lookout for wildlife such as herons, pelicans, deer, wild boar, even the occasional crocodilethough the local creatures tend to only be found in the most remote parts of the mangrove, well away from humans. Between the lagoon and the road is a narrow grassy area called the Parque de las Artes, with topiary and large boulders sitting on the pristine lawns, and shaded seats where you can relax and watch the world go by. If youre feeling a bit more energetic, on the left of the road there is a wide cycling, in-line skating, and jogging track for much of the length of the island. This part of Cancn has the calmest sea for swimming and snorkeling, lying as it does in the shelter of Isla Mujeres just offshore. At km 3.5 youll find Playa Linda Marine Terminal, where a number of pleasure craft leave for trips to Isla Mujeres or sunset cruises. One, the Captain Hook, resembles a pirate ship; shipmates play games while sailing the high seas. At km 5 you will pass a huge Mexican flag, one of only seven this size in the whole country. You can see it from most points on the island; it is only taken down in high winds. Just beyond the flag on the left is Tortuga Pier, hosting boating trips and the ferry terminal, plus access to Playa Tortuga beach. Kilometer 7 sees a right turn to the 18-hole Pok-Ta-Pok golf course, which is located on a large land-mass that juts out into the lagoon. The area around km 8.5, where the island bends south, is the heart of the Hotel Zone, the focus for activity of all kinds. Three shopping malls can be found here: the ultra-modern Plaza Caracol, a mix of craft and tourist shops; Mayafair, with its unmistakable faade fashioned of Chaac masks, is still in development but will eventually be a Mexican craft showcase; and Forum by the Sea, with several fast food eateries and a cine-complex showing the latest American movies. Dominating the scene here is the Centro de Convenciones (Convention Center), which, among other things, hosts musical and artistic exhibitions: check the program during your visit. Near the main entrance is the Museo Arqueolgico de Cancn (Cancn Archaeological Museum), displaying pottery, masks, and jewelry from the El Rey site and others in Quintana Roo. South of the Convention Center is the Hotel Zone craft marketdesignated the Flea Market on the sign outside. Youll hear a lot of requests to just take a look at the merchandise displayed in this warren of stalls. Prices for crafts and knick-knacks are negotiable, and generally cheaper than in the malls. Kilometers 11 to 13 have three more shopping malls. On the lagoon side, the first is Flamingo Plaza; a bit farther south is Plaza la Isla, fashioned after a Venetian lagoon. This is one of the most recent developments in Cancn, boasting a nightclub, cinema complex, and plans for an interactive aquarium featuring dolphins and nurse sharks. Plaza Kukulkn, at km 13 on the ocean side, is the largest and most up-market mall in Cancn, with designer outlets for clothing, jewelry, and accessories, plus fine dining, a cinema, and a bowling complex. The large interior spaces are used for regular art exhibitions. At km 15.2 on the lagoon side is AquaWorld, which sells and rents just about every piece of equipment you need to travel on, under, or above the water; it is also one of the largest accredited diving instruction centers in Mexico. Head out into the lagoon on one of the fleets of jet-skis or small power boats, sign up for a snorkeling tour, or if youd like to see marine life but stay dry, ride the Sub See Explorer, a mini-submarine with viewing windows so you get just as good a view as those in wet suits. If you still have the energy, AquaWorld offers Skyrider, a two-seat para-chair that floats in the sky across the lagoon. Kilometer 18 is the location of the only public Mayan site in the Cancn region (there are small pyramids located in the ground of the Pyramides Hotel, but these are not accessible to non-guests). The Ruinas del Rey (Kings Ruins) are set in low jungle, and bounded on the lagoon side by the greens of the Hilton Cancn & Golf Resort. An occasional stray ball is found within the archaeological site; the guides will joke that it was the Maya, not the Scots, who invented the game. The El Rey buildings are not large by Mayan standards. The temples were built in line rather than in a cluster, with the largest in the middle. Lizards about half a meter (2 ft) long call the walls home, basking in the sunshine but disappearing in a flash if you venture too close. Opposite the entrance to the ruins is access to the most southerly beach on the main strip, Playa Delphines. Toward the very bottom of the island, at km 21, is Punta Nizuc. The land in this area is mostly mangrove swamp and a haven for wildlife, being remote from the tourist activity of the Hotel Zone. But when you reach km 25, youll find Parque Nizuc, a commercial water park featuring WetnWild water slides, wave pool, and river rides, with a sandy beach and lagoon area to enjoy. The Cancn Hotel Zone needs a vast number of support workers both for hotel service and continued development. Most of them live in downtown Cancn on the mainland just a few kilometers away, an area that was developed concurrently with the Hotel Zone. With little heavy industry or crime, it is considered a good place to live by the people who travel from all over Mexico to work in the resort. A series of service industries thrive, along with a lower-key tourist sector. Downtown Cancn, built on a grid plan, is dominated by Avenida Tulum, which runs northsouth through the town. Here you will find shops, restaurants, currency exchange offices, and travel agents. Avenida Cob leads from the Hotel Zone into town; most of the important buildings on Avenida Tulum can be found to the north of Cob. Firstly, the offices of the Cancn Convention and Visitors Bureau are on the corner of Cob and Tulum. Heading north, at Hi-Kuic craft market youll find the same goods as in the Hotel Zone, but a little cheaper. Following are the police station and Ayuntamiento Benito Jurez, the city hall. The traffic circle at the top of this block (Tulum and Uxmal) has a distinctive sculpture as its centerpiece, featuring carvings depicting the eras of Mexicos history. Just beyond this is the bus station, where regular service departs west to Mrida and south along the Maya Riviera to Tulum. A block west of Avenida Tulum is Avenida Yaxchiln, where youll find the main post office. Between the two is Parque de las Palapas, a small park and open-air concert pavilion, where local families meet to talk, listen to live music, and while the evenings away. On the streets around the parkeach named after a flowerthere are small hotels and restaurants, plus portable stalls selling fresh fruit juices or hot Mexican snacks. Avenida Tulum leads north, and then veers east to Puerto Jurez, the port for passenger and vehicle ferries to Isla Mujeres. These depart several times each day with both locals and visitors aboard. Isla Mujeres Isla Mujeres(Island of the Women) lies only 8 km (5 miles) offshore from Cancn; the 40-minute ferry ride transports you from an ultra-modern atmosphere to an environment in which time moves more slowly. Several companies offer one-day sailing trips to Isla Mujeres, often including lunch and snorkeling; they depart from Playa Linda and Pier Tortugas in the Hotel Zone. Isla Mujeres now has a population of around 15,000. In past centuries, however, it was the haunt of Caribbean pirates, being far from the clutches of colonial overlords in Havana, San Juan in Puerto Rico, and Panama City, the nearest colonial outposts. The earliest recorded visitors arrived in 1517, when Spanish explorer Francisco Hernndez de Crdoba landed to discover a number of small temples built for the goddess of fertility Ix chel. It was he who named the island. Mujeres is only 8 km (5 miles) in length, less than a kilometer (12 mile) at its widest point, and split by inland lakes and bays. One main road forms an ellipse, following the shape of the coastline. Most ferries deposit you at the very northern tip of the island, on the main pier of the only town on Mujeres. Craft shops and bars crowd onto the sidewalks and sandy streets. The place bustles, especially when the ferries arrive. As afternoon turns to evening and the day-trippers head back to Cancn, Isla Mujeres takes on a much quieter character. The island has many loyal fans that return year after year for its particular atmosphere. Many who choose to stay come for the diving, which usually means low-key entertainment and early nights. A few minutes walk north of town is the main beach, Playa Norte, also known as Coco Beach. It has sheltered waters and fine sand, particularly suitable for children. Coconut palms provide shade and a few pelicans fly overhead in search of a meal. Heading south out of town youll pass the Mexican naval base and a small commercial airstrip before traveling alongside Laguna Makax on the right. The water here, guarded from the Caribbean Sea by the island itself, has been used for centuries as a safe harbor during storms and hurricanes. Pirate fleets stopped here, because passing naval vessels would not see their ships. On the far side of Laguna Mekax is Tortugranja Turtle Farm, which has played a major role in protecting six species of the endangered marine creatures and trying to build their numbers. Every year, nest sites are protected and a number of eggs removed. The hatchlings are cared for until they are a year old, and then returned to the ocean. You can see the young turtles throughout the year, but the best time to visit the farm is during egg-laying season; from May through September, it is possible to visit the nest sites and watch the turtles laying eggs. Heading south on the coast, there are numerous small hotels and guest-houses catering to divers. Just offshore, a coral reef in shallow water has become one of the major diving and snorkeling venues in the world. Although the inner reefs were damaged in the early years of their popularity, they are now protected under the auspices of the National Park service as El Garrafn/Punta Sur Park. Jacques Cousteau made El Garrafn famous in the 1960s, when he filmed the nurse sharks in their caves in the park. You can still find them at the Cave of the Sleeping Sharks, and experienced divers can swim with themnot as frightening as you would think, as nurse sharks are not dangerous to humansin their dark, watery hideouts. Non-certified divers who want the chance can swim with the sharks at El Garrafn pier, where several sharks are kept in pens for this purpose. The marine life is truly spectacular at the park, both in the shallow and the outer reef areas. The land around the southern tip of the island is also protected; Punta Sur is a wind-swept, salty spot where the waves of the Caribbean crash onto the rocks. The remains of a Mayan temple can be seen here, along with a lighthouse that guides sailors safely to port to this day. Cozumel Cozumel was also brought to the worlds attention by Jacques Cousteaus diving films of the 1960s. With the second-longest coral reef in the world just off its western coastline, it soon became a haunt for all those who enjoyed the underwater world. Today, along with enjoying status as one of the premier dive islands in the world, it is also a duty-free cruise port, with shopping to match the best in the Caribbean. However, Cozumel has a much longer history of human habitation. It was a Mayan site of some importance, being the center of worship for the fertility goddess Ix-chel. Cozumel became a destination for Mayan pilgrims from all over Yucatn in the late and post-classical periods (a.d. 9001650). The Maya who lived here traded salt and honey all along the coast; Xcaret was their major port on the mainland. The Spanish conducted the first Catholic mass in Mexico here after their arrival in 1518, but they had little interest in the island. It remained almost uninhabited through the 18th century. But following the War of the Castes in 18471848, several rebel families settled here to escape retribution by colonial landowners on the Yucatecan mainland. They eked out a simple living for decades until the invention of the scuba tank. And the rest, as they say, is history! Cozumel has multiple personalities; it caters to divers who go to bed early and rise with the sun, yet it also has occasionally raucous nightlife for those who want to stay out and party. Those who know the island well refer to this phenomenon as the wet side and the dry side. Day-trippers who arrive on their huge floating cruise shipsor on daily ferries from Playa del Carmenadd an extra dimension; they want to see everything in a few hours, so the slow routine of island life speeds up when they arrive. There is only one settlement, the capital, on Cozumel, San Miguel de Cozumel; its a bustling town chock-full of souvenir shops, duty-free emporiums, bars, and assorted cafs and restaurants. If you arrive on the island by ferry from the mainland, youll be dropped off directly opposite the heart of the downtown area, Plaza del Sol, also called the zcalo. This large, tree-lined square is where everyone meets for coffee, or lunch at one of the cafs nearby. Several streets surrounding the square are traffic-free, and you can stroll at your leisure among the stores selling T-shirts, pottery, onyx, and silver. The storeowners have a practiced line and can be pretty persuasive, so it pays to have a sense of humoror a few words of Spanish so you can join in the banter. The street running along the seafront is Avenida Rafael Melgar, also known as the Malecn, almost constantly busy with traffic. It is lined with numerous duty-free stores selling fragrances, designer clothing, and jewelry and gemstones. Above these are bars and restaurants that keep the street buzzing until the early hours of the morning. Stop in at the Museo de la Isla de Cozumel (Museum of the Island of Cozumel) on Avenida Melgar, which displays some interesting artifacts found on the island and salvaged from wrecks around its shores. The two main rooms on the first floor offer simple explanations about the geology of the Yucatn peninsula and the development of coral reefs offshore. The second-floor rooms tell the story of Cozumels history, from ancient Mayan carvings to conquistador helmets and swords. There is also a room dedicated to the families who settled in Cozumel in the 19th centuryafter the War of the Castesand who have developed the island since that time. Traveling around the island couldnt be simpler. There is one main highway which follows the western coastline, travels around the southern tip, and returns up the east coast. It then cuts across the island at its widest point back to town. The northwest section of the island is inaccessible by most rental vehicles (you may find a clause in your contract forbidding you to try the unmade road). This part of the island is a haven for birds and wildlife, because few people venture here. There are also a few Mayan ruins to explore. North of town you will find the airport, with several flights daily to other parts of Mexico and a few cities in the US. Several of the older hotels are located along the road here, though the rocky shoreline has fewer beaches than in the south. South of San Miguel, you will find the major cruise port at La Ceiba, around 3 km (2 miles) from town. Several large cruise vessels dock each week, bringing a flurry of activity; taxi drivers increase their speed to make the most of the business. There is a good beach at La Ceiba and a number of hotels, plus several dive outfits have bases hereyou can book a class or rent equipment. Farther south, in the ocean offshore, the reef holds the attention of even the most experienced divers because of its variety of animal and coral life. Turtles, rays, sharks, and many species of colorful tropical fish can be found here, many at a reasonable depth for novice diversthough the reef walls are better left to those with experience. The booking office for Atlantis Submarine is also here; this mini-submersible is ideal for non-divers, allowing a glimpse of the thriving underwater world without your having to get wet. South of the cruise port, the road (currently in the process of being upgraded) leads away from the urban development and out into the countryside. This part of the island has some of the best and most sheltered beaches. In recent years, a number of excellent resort hotels have been built on large plots of land; you will see their gated entrances as you drive by. Next to these are the more modest accommodations that for years have catered to dedicated divers. Around 5 km (3 miles) from town you will find the entrance to Chankanaab State Park. This was one of the first sites on the island to offer organized reef snorkeling in an offshore lagoon, though as it became more popular it developed other attractions. Snorkeling is still extremely good offshore, though the lagoon site is now devoid of marine life and is used simply as a safe swimming area. Chankanaab offers a botanical garden and a sculpture park displaying native art from all areas of Mexico. It has a dive shop, beach umbrellas, sun beds, and two restaurants. Perhaps the prize of the park goes to the Swim with the Dolphins program. The dolphins are kept in open water just offshore and reached by a wooden walkway. Small groups of people can enter the water with the dolphins; an instructor controls the activities and exercises. South from Chankanaab you can stop at a number of fine sandy beaches on the west coast. The major sites are Playa San Francisco, Playa del Sol, and Playa Palancar. All the main beaches have public access and each has its own caf-bar, watersports facilities, and lockers for beachgoers. The water is a beautiful clear turquoise color; you will see small dive or snorkel boats bobbing offshore as you soak up the sun. These waters offer some of the best diving and snorkeling in the world. The variety of sea-life living on and around the coral reef here is amazing, with many of the largest migratory fish species paying a visit at different times of the year. In order to protect the delicate environment around the reef, the Cozumel Reefs National Park was created in July 1996, covering over 80% of the dive sites off the island in its 11,987 hectares (29,620 acres). There is a US$2 daily charge to dive in the park. Between Playa del Sol and Playa Palancar you will see a dirt road marked by an arch printed with the words El Cedral that veers left from the main highway. The road is poor and it requires some patience to avoid the potholes, but it leads to El Cedral, from where it is possible to ride a horse to Mayan ruins deep in the forest (take insect repellent if you intend to make the journey). It was at El Cedral that the first Catholic Mass was said in Mexico, on 6 May 1518. In May each year the settlement re-enacts the event and also holds a fiesta with horseback riding, music, and dancing. The very southern tip of the island is a national park, protected from the development, which threatened its wild but fragile environment. The Parque Punta Sur (South Point Park) was opened in August 1999. Access is not permitted by car, but the park provides electric bicycles, buggies, and a colorful open-sided tour bus to give access to the interior; two hours of free cycle use is included with the entry ticket. Next to the car park where you leave your vehicle, and information center provides details about the park and its flora and fauna. Within Punta Surs 1,100 hectares (2,718 acres) are the coast, with its wild beaches and sand dunes, and the interior, lagoons and mangrove swamps with a population of crocodiles and bird species. You can explore Punta Celerain, the most southerly point of Cozumel and now part of the park, and Punta Celerain Lighthouse, once protector of shipping in the area, and now refurbished to house the Museo de la Navegacin (Navigation Museum). A series of dioramas in both Spanish and English explain navigation methods through the ages, including those of the Maya who lived in the region. One room in the museum is dedicated to the lighthouse-keepers and their families, who lived here full time, often cut off from the rest of the population in San Miguel. From Punta Sur the main highway heads north up the eastern coastline. The conditions here offer quite a contrast to the west, with the waves of the Caribbean lashing against limestone rocks, and the low vegetation leaning inward, blown by the sea breezes. The whole area has a stark and wild beauty, reminiscent perhaps of the time when Cozumel was the haunt of pirates and renegades. The tidal surge is very strong here, so swimming and snorkeling are not advised. Other than a few farms, there is little development until you reach Playa Morena, with its bar and souvenir stand. Here the road makes a sharp left turn to cut across the heart of the island. If you wish to continue north from here (on foot, horseback, or four-wheel drive vehicle), you will eventually reach the northern lighthouse at Punta Molas, having passed the Mayan ruins of El Castillo Real along the way. Take the sensible precautions if you make this tripdrinking water, sun protection, insect repellent, and an extra layer of clothing are all advisable. The road leading back to San Miguel, called the Carretera Transversal, hosts a few souvenir stands where prices may be a little lower than in townif youre prepared to barter. Six km (4 miles) from Playa Morena is the entrance to the San Gervasio Archaeological Park. The remains of San Gervasio are located several kilometers from the site entrance, and though not on the scale of the major Mayan settlements of the mainland, the beautiful tropical park environment makes the ruins worth exploring. Most structures date from the post-classical period (12001650); the site was still in use when the Spanish arrived. At the Estructura Manitas (Little Hands Structure), you can clearly see the red handprints, dating from around 1000, on the inside wall of the temple. From here you can walk the route of a short sacred sacb (Mayan road) to the central collection of small buildings. One is El Osario (Ossuary Structure), where the remains of several Maya were found. Some 500 m (1,524 ft) behind here is Kana Nah (Tall House), which, as its name suggests, is one of the largest structures at the site. It was the main temple, where the goddess Ix chel was worshipped. South to Tulum along theMaya Riviera When tourism first came to this area of the Yucatn peninsula, the coastline between Cancn and Tulum was a pristine natural landscape, broken only by a few villages. Rocky coastal inlets where sea-water mingles with the fresh water of several cenotes are separated by acres of virgin mangrove. Parts of the coastline have sandy beaches that seem as if no human has ever set foot on them. Of course with the success of Cancn, developers have looked for other opportunities in the region, and this stretch of coastline is gradually being taken for tourist development. Luckily, not every development mimics the grand resorts of Cancn, and there is some variety here, in both style and atmosphere; there are a number of all-inclusive hotel complexes, yet there are also interesting towns and ports. Tulum, with its magnificent Mayan ruins, forms a natural southerly point to the strip of coastal development, which has been given the name The Maya Riviera. The area is easy to explore by vehicle, as the road following the coastlinethough in some places a few kilometers inland from itis in good condition; around half is a four-lane highway opened in 1998. There is also an excellent bus service linking the major settlements and large hotels, which takes around two hours to run the whole length of the Riviera. Traveling south from Cancn, the first town you will pass, at 36 km (22 miles), is Puerto Morelos, the port for vehicle ferries to the island of Cozumel. A thirty-minute journey from Cancn is Tres Ros, a natural reserve with facilities for snorkeling, kayaking, and horseback riding. Further south, Playa del Carmen, once a tiny settlement, is now the fastest growing resort in the area. For many years Playa was simply a stepping-stone to Cozumel, only a 40-minute boat ride awayin fact the hotels along Cozumels coastline can clearly be seen from the town jetty. But the town, sitting on a wonderful pale-sand beach with clear, bright azure water, has become an attraction in itself. It now boasts several large hotels and a pretty traffic-free street one block west of the strand, Calle 5, where the souvenir stores, cafs, and bars spill out into the street. As day turns to night, music from rock to reggae floats in the air. All this gives the town a rather bohemian atmosphere. Beyond Playa the coastline is most dramatic; the limestone has been eroded into several coastal inlets, lagoons, and riverbeds. This stretch is excellent for snorkeling and has some exciting cenotes for diving and swimming; as well, a number of these inlets have been protected as national parks or developed as pleasure playgrounds for tourists. Around 10 km (6 miles) south of Playa del Carmen, Xcaret (pronounced shkaret) is the largest and the most organized resort, with a range of activities and facilities to enjoy. Xcaret, or little inlet, is an award-winning example of a sustainable tourist development. Once the site of an ancient Mayan port for departures to Cozumel, the sheltered lagoon was the perfect protection for Mayan canoes. The waters of the nearby cenote were used for ritual purification before pilgrims made the short sea journey to the Temple of Ix-chelthe goddess of fertility and childbirth. The remains of several temples can be found in the park grounds. When Xcaret opened in 1990, the cenote and its outlet to the sea (a mixture of narrow gorge and underground tunnel) were the focus of the park; they made an exciting snorkeling or swimming tour. Today this is still a popular attraction, but the park has grown to include sheltered swimming, a beautiful beach, restaurants, tropical gardens, horseback-riding trails, a magnificent butterfly pavilion, a zoo, an aquarium, and a swim with the dolphins program. The park is also contributing to a number of projects protecting endangered plants and animals including the green turtle and several parrot species. As night falls, Xcaret holds a number of spectaculars which are both entertaining and educational. Mayan rituals are re-enacted at the ancient sites, and a folkloric ballet offers traditional dances from different regions in Mexico. Puerto Aventuras is an interesting development, unlike any place else on the Maya Riviera. The rocky coastal inlets have been transformed into a magnificent marina, with mooring for yachts and motor launches and a walkway along the waterside. Sympathetic two- and three-story pastel painted buildings line the marina, with restaurants at ground level. The whole area has the feel of the Italian or French Rivera rather than Caribbean Mexico. At the center of the resort, in the sheltered waters of the inner lagoon, there is a Swim with the Dolphins program. Just beside the dolphin pools is Museo CEDAM (Club de Exploracin y Deporte Acutico de Mxico), which is dedicated to a number of pioneers of underwater archaeology and exploration. The museum has a wooden floor covered in sand, which adds a touch of the nautical as you wander among the exhibits. Interesting finds from the ocean floorMayan, Spanish-colonial, and more modern artifactscombine with displays of early diving equipment. You will also see stunning photographs of underwater environments taken by leading practicians of the art. Just south of Puerto Aventuras is Xel-Ha, a network of mangrove, waterways, pools, and caves that was once a Mayan site. The majority of the remains form an archaeological site on the inland side of the main highway; Xel-Ha Park sits on the seaward side. This park has more natural areas than Xcaret for snorkeling and exploring, but fewer organized activities, though there is a swim with the dolphins program. At either side of this managed park are public inlets; at Akumal you can snorkel just off the sand, or rent a boat to take you out to the reef. Tulum is the most southerly destination of the convoy of tourist buses departing daily from Cancn. Buses and cars park some 700 m (12 mile) from the entrance. A shuttle bus will carry passengers to the entrance for US$1 if you dont feel energetic enough for the walk. The Mayan ruins here are a magnet for visitors both for their architectural significance and their beautiful setting, being the only site fronting the open sea. Tulum was built late in Mayan history, during the 12th century, and was still thriving in the 15th and 16th centuries when other Mayan sites had been abandoned. This was a time of great upheaval, so the Maya built their temples close together and surrounded them with a strong defensive wallthe name Tulum actually means walled or fenced. The walls acted as a defense later in Mayan history during the War of the Castes (1847), when several rebel Maya brought their families to hide out here. There are no great structures on the scale of those at Chichn Itz or Uxmal, but several sit on rocky outcrops overlooking the fine sandy beach and clear blue water below, making the place a photographers delight. Chief among these is El Castillo (the Castle), the main temple. Tulum was dedicated to the worship of the Descending God, who can be seen in carvings and stucco reliefs on El Castillo and other buildings at the sitethough many details have been lost to the elements and the salt air. He is depicted as a winged figure, head below and two feet above. It is not clear what this gods role was within Mayan worship; he may represent the setting sun, as many temples at the site, including El Castillo, face west. A few steps northwest of El Castillo is Templo del Dios Descendente (The Temple of the Descending God), of note because it was deliberately built with walls and doors out of plumb. Between the site entrance and El Castillo, the Templo de los Frescos (Temple of the Frescoes or Paintings) has the best-preserved reliefs at the site, and a rather worn stela fronting the main faade. At each corner of the west-facing wall it is possible to discern a somber mask with large eyes and lipspossibly a depiction of Kukulkn. Above the columned entrance are three niches, each with a relief of the Descending God at the center. Red handprints decorate the small upper room, and inside there are fine frescoes dating from the 13th century, but it is not possible to enter the temple to see them. You can sunbathe on the beach at the site; some Mexican families spend the day here, something the Maya would never have been able to do when it was a religious center. Only those who belonged to the upper and religious castes were allowed into its inner sanctum. Downtown Tulum has the decided feeling of a frontier town, and beyondtowards the state capital Chetumalthe road is in worse condition than farther north. Two kilometers (about a mile) east of downtown, along the coast, a hotel zone is being developed for those who want spend longer than a day in the region to explore the less populated areas, such as Sian Kaan Biosphere Reserve to the south. Inland from Tulum is another Mayan site worthy of note. Cob sits surrounded by jungle some 42 km (26 miles) from Tulum on the banks of Lake Cob. It is one of the largest Mayan sites, said by archaeologists to be 100 square km (39 square miles) in area, and encompasses around 20,000 separate structuresthough most have not been excavated. It is thought that at its peak (a.d. 800100), it was one of the most important cities in the Mayan kingdom, with a network of roads reaching to many satellite settlements, some up to 100 km (62 miles) away. At Cob it is possible to feel a little as Stephens and Catherwood did when they discovered the Mayan sites in their expeditions of 1841. Most of the pyramids and temples still lie under centuries of debris and vegetation, tantalizing visitors with intricate carvings peeking through roots and branches. Here you can imagine yourself to be exploring where no one except the abundant birds and butterflies has been for centuries. Cob more than any other site requires sensible footwear, hat, sunscreen, and bottled water, because the principal structures are spread so widely apart. The main building at the site is the Iglesia or church, a huge pyramid nearly 30 m (90 ft) high. It sits among a number of structures known as the Grupo Cob, which lie to the right of the main entrance. Its major staircase has been cleared, and the view from the top is spectacular, with the lakes and jungle stretching out to cover the land. At irregular intervals, vegetation-covered mounds indicate other pyramids yet to be freed. The only other large structure in view is the stone faade of Nohoch Mul (Big Hill) some 20 minutes walk away. At 42 m (138 ft), Nohoch Mul is the largest Mayan pyramid yet discovered; there are 120 steps to its upper platform. Once there you will find images of the Descending Godthe same image seen so often at Tulum. Between the Nohoch Mul group and Grupo Cob is Conjunto de las Pinturas (Paintings Group) where you can see the Pyramid of the Painted Lintel, which as the name suggests still bears traces of its original coloring. West to Chichn Itz and Mrida Traveling west out of the Cancn region transports you almost immediately into a different era. Traces of Spanish colonial life can be found across the landscape, but more than this, once out in the countryside the life of the agricultural worker very much resembles that lived by Maya in centuries past. Today they still produce numerous crops on small farms, but large modern ranchesare much more common in the last hundred years than before. Two highways travel west: the four-lane toll highway carries traffic halfway across the Yucatn peninsula in around three hours; the local road (in good condition) travels through the countryside and many local settlements, which allows the opportunity to view the daily life of the region. Both roads are numbered 180, but the local road is signposted 180 libre (meaning free). The first major town on the 180 libre is Valladolid. Founded in 1543, it has Yucatns oldest church, San Bernadino de Siena (1552), now outshone by the imposing Catedral de San Gervasio in the main square. North of Valladolid on route 295 are the remains of the Mayan city of Ekbalm, one of the most recent sites to benefit from major archaeological attention. Original stucco can still be found on the faade of the Great Temple here, and this has been augmented to show how it would have appeared at the zenith of the citys development. This helps to gain a better understanding of how other Mayan buildings once looked at sites such as Tulum. Beyond Valladolid are the Grutas de Balancanch (Balancanch Caves), which were only rediscovered in 1959 after being abandoned by the Maya. The huge caverns with underground lakes were a place of offering, and evidence of incense burning can still be found. Chichn Itz Three hours of traveling will bring you to the small town of Pist and the remains of one of the most famous Mayan sites. Chichn Itz has fired the imagination of archaeologists and tourists alike. No matter how many other people happen to be there when you visit, you cannot help but be impressed by Chichn Itz. It has been well excavated and the huge range of structures give a lasting impression of how life would have been lived by the Mayan elite. The city was built late in the empires cycle, between the sixth and ninth centuries (the post-Classic period). Despite large amount of research, scientists are still not in agreement as to exactly how the city evolved, and what influences came to bear. What is certain is that Toltec influences, in the form of the god Kukulkn (Quetzalcoatl) and Chaac-Mool reliefs, can be found here, along with traditional Mayan symbols. Another mystery yet to be solved is why the Toltec abandoned the city in 1200. Some time later, in the 13th century, the Itz, a Mayan tribe led by a ruler named Itzmna, moved north out of what is now the Campeche province to the tip of Yucatn and settled in the city. They gave the city the name Chichn Itz; this probably means Mouth of the Well of the Itzs. They founded a capital at Mayapan, near the site of the modern city of Mrida. In the 15th century, following a bloody civil war, the Itzs abandoned Chichn Itz. It had already been reclaimed by the jungle when the Spanish set foot on the peninsula. Chichn Itz occupies 6 square km (4 square miles). If you want to explore all corners of the site, a visit will occupy a full day. Excursions from Cancn are popular but can be tiring. It is far better to stay near the site and begin your visit early, because you can start when the day is cooler, and you will be able to see at least some of the site before the tour groups arrive. Those who stay overnight can also enjoy the sound-and-light show that takes place each evening. The city has two distinct sectors. Old Chichn, in the south, is purely Puuc-Mayan in style (see page 66), having chambers with arched stone roofs. New Chichn has distinct Toltec influences; here stone columns supported roofs constructed with wooden beams. This allowed rooms in new Chichn to be much larger than in the older part of the site, but it also meant that as the wood rotted, the roofs of the chambers collapsed, leaving these structures much less intact in the present day. You can visit the site unaccompanied or hire a guide at the entrance; they charge around $30 for a group of up to six people. You will also find a book and gift store, a restaurant, and a museum with finds from the site and a model of the city to help you to get your bearings. As you enter the site (in the new part of the city) the huge square edifice of El Castillo, also called the Pyramid of Kukulkn, comes into view on your right. The pyramid, 30 m (100 ft) high and the main time-keeping mechanism of the city, was built very precisely in position, shape, and height in order to predict the planting and harvesting cycles. There are 364 steps in four staircases, which together represent the 365 days of the year. There are 52 panels on each side, which echo the 52-year cycle of the Mayan calendar, and terraces that parallel the main staircase, representing the 18-month solar cycle. The best time to see this super-sized timepiece in action is at the Spring Equinox (21 March) or Fall Equinox (21 September) in the afternoon, when the suns rays fall down the northern stairway and hit the serpent head at the base. With the play of light and shadow, the serpent appears to wriggle down into the earth. For the Maya, this signified the re-fertilization of the landand time to plant the corn. The light then leaves the snake head first and travels back up from the base; the Maya believed that the power of the sun was returning to the realm of the gods in the sky. It is possible to climb one of the steep staircases to the upper platform, which has a number of small chambers. The view from the platform is spectacular; look down on other buildings on the site and also out to the distance, with low Yucatecan jungle stretching as far as the eye can see. Take care when you descend the staircase, as the treads are narrow. Inside El Castillo are the foundations of an earlier structure, and a chamber containing the figure of a jaguar decorated with jade, along with a statue of \, the Rain God. To the left of the main entrance is the huge, open, main juego de pelota (ball court), one of the best preserved in Central America. Although one of nine on the site, it is definitely the most impressive, with walls 8 m (26 ft) high, 83 m (272 ft) long, and set 30 m (98 ft) apart. The walls are decorated with friezes showing players dressed in protective clothing and a rather bloodthirsty victor with the head of a losing player (though some archaeologists believe that the victor had the honor of losing his life at the end of the match). This ball court has been well studied by archaeologists; ball courts can be found in most Mesoamerican settlements, but the true purpose of the games is still not fully understood. There are temples at each end of the court, which add to the superb acoustics:it is possible to hear a voice speaking at one end clearly at the other, and the whole complex has a seven-repeat echo, a sacred number in Mayan society. The temple attached to the eastern wall, the Templo de los Jaguares (Temple of the Jaguars), is named in honor of the jaguar figures carved on the upper panels of the temple and a statue of a jaguar in the lower chamber. The carving to its left is said to depict the Mayan creation myth. Next to the ball courts is Tzompantli, Temple of the Skulls, with long rows of skulls carved into its main platform. It is said that here the victims of sacrifice had their severed heads impaled on poles for the edification of the gods. Beside this is the Plataforma de las guilas (Platform of the Eagles), with reliefs of eagles and jaguarsclutching human hearts. Equidistant between El Castillo and the Temple of the Skulls, the Templo de Venus (Temple of Venus) depicts the goddess as a feathered serpent devouring a human head. From the Temple of Venus, a sacred causewaynow little more than a dirt trackwas once a paved highway to one of the most important religious sites in the city, the natural feature which may have given the city its name. The Cenote Sagrado, a limestone waterhole, 60 m (90 ft) in diameter and 21 m (69 ft) from rim to water level, was not a fresh water supply for the city; it had a much more chilling use. When archaeologists dredged the hole, hundreds of human bones, victims of the Mayan ritual of appeasement to the gods, were found. The skeletons of men, women, and children gave the cenote its other name, the Well of Sacrifice. To the east of the Temple of Venus is, perhaps, the most striking temple on the site, the Templo de los Guerreros (Temple of the Warriors). Named for the reliefs depicting thousands of Mayan warriors, the temple also has numerous columns, putting one in mind of a classical Greek edifice. On a platform above the columns is a carved figure of Chaac-Mool in reclining position, its belly hollowed into a bowl to receive offeringssome experts think these included human hearts fresh from the body. Unfortunately, at the present time the platform is not open to visitors. Reached through a colonnaded walkway abutting the Temple of the Warriors is what modern archaeologists have named the Mercado or Market, with the remains of steam baths and a number of ball courts. Just south of the market are the tracks of the modern road (now diverted) that once cut through the site. Beyond this are remains to the south and westOld Chichn. Directly ahead is the Tumba del Gran Sacerdote (Tomb of the High Priest) built atop a limestone cave where human sacrifices were carried out. Several small temples can be found here. Casa de los Metates (the House of the Grinding Stones) is named after the corn-grinding stones of the Maya, which are used in villages in the region in the present day. Several were found here when archaeologists investigated the building. Chichan-chob (Little Holes, also called Red House) is an older-style building in the Puuc style. It has small holes in the roof and masks of Chaac-Mool on the upper walls. Beyond a small ball court, you will see the imposing building of the observatory, El Caracol. An important place for the inhabitants of the city, observations taken here would predict the exact times of the equinoxes and important celestial events. El Caracol means the snail in Spanish; it was given its name by explorer John Lloyd Stephens, because he thought that the spiral staircase on the inside of the dome mimicked the chamber of a snail shell. Edificio de las Monjas (Edifice of the Nuns), lying farthest south, is perhaps the most Puuc in style (see page 66) of all the buildings here. It stands on the site of much older buildings that can be seen in the interior. Nearby is a building called, surprisingly, La Iglesia (The Church). It isnt a place of Christian worshipin fact it is one of the oldest buildings on the site, and pays homage to the bacah, a group of gods thought to have held up the sky. Images of snail and tortoise can be seen here, among others. The walls of Akab Dzib, the Temple of Obscure Writing, to the east of the Church, are filled with Mayan glyphs,the written language of the peoplethat has been the focus of much attention and research in the last 30 years. Other buildings of Old Chichn lie in the scrubland to the south of these structures, but exploration is more difficult and you may benefit from having a guide. Izamal Further west is the small town of Izamal. The settlement is known as the city of three cultures because, perhaps more than anywhere in the region, you can find Mayan, colonial, and modern influences together in the city streets. At the heart of the city is the Monastery of San Antonio de Padua, home to the Franciscan order and founded by Archbishop de Landa at the end of the 16th century. Today there are ten monks continuing the tradition, though only their inner sanctum is out of bounds, leaving you free to explore the small courtyards and chapels. In 1993, Pope John Paul II visited the monastery, conducting a mass here. A small museum has photographs of his visit, along with a papal throne built especially for the occasion. The monastery and buildings on the surrounding streetsrows of old colonial houseshave been painted a bright yellow, one of the traditional colors used by the Spanish settlers. You can take a calesa ride through the streets and visit the remains of Mayan structures, including Kinichkakmo(the face of the maker of the sun), which is the largest pyramid in the region, though few have been excavated. Mrida The largest city on the Yucatn peninsula and capital of Yucatn state, La Blanca Mrida was founded in the 1640s, at the very start of the Spanish occupation, on the site of a large Mayan city, THo. Mrida became the focus of influence for the Montejo family, who exerted their force over the surrounding countryside. Since that time, it has seen the ebb and flow of economic prosperity and political power, yet its architecture and lifestylea total contrast to modern Cancnmake it a fascinating place to visit. Mrida is a vibrant, bustling city with a tangible energy. It also has interesting attractions that can fill a few days of your itinerary. The heart of the city is Plaza Major (also known by a variety of names such as Plaza des Armas, Plaza Principal, Plaza de la Independencia, and Plaza de la Revolucion). Its tree-lined center has shaded seats where everyone comes to meet and talk; shoe-shine boys work throughout the day, while ice-cream sellers stand on street corners with their small barrows. Look out for the confidenciales, or love seats, where courting couples could sit next to each other without compromising the womans reputation. In the center of the square is a flagpole supporting a Mexican flag, which is raised and lowered at the start and end of each day (6am and 6pm) in an elaborate ceremony undertaken by the local police band. Numerous historic buildings, dating back to the very earliest days of Spanish rule, line the square and its surrounding grid of streets. Construction of many of these buildings used stones from the Mayan city of THo, so, alas, nothing remains of this site. Perhaps the most important building is Palacio de Montejo, on the south side of the square. It was built as a family home for the Montejo dynasty and was completed in 1549. The faadenow the only original element of the houseis decorated with a number of ornate carvings, including two large conquistadors seen treading on the heads of Mayan Indians. Perhaps this decoration was added to reaffirm Montejo power in the region. Major renovations to the faade were completed in late 1999. The style of the house is pure Spanish-colonial, with an inner courtyard garden lined by rooms with high ceilings and huge wooden doors. The house was in the Montejo family until the 1970s but then passed into the hands of a bank, which now operates a regional office, ATM, and currency exchange in the interior. Visitors can wander into the courtyard, but many of the architectural treasures are off-limits. On the west of the square is the Palacio Municipal (City Hall), painted a pretty yellow in contrast with the trees in the square. Inside you can see the wooden-lined Sala de Cabildos, where the board of the city still holds its regular meetings. The northern section is taken up by the Palacio del Gobierno (Governors Palace), now merely an administrative building, but once the Governors residence. In the inner courtyard hang many large canvases by artist Fernando Castro Pancheco illustrating important incidents and individuals in Yucatns history. On the second floor, the Salon de Historia, a long gallery room once used for social soires, has more paintings that complete the collection. The eastern side of the square is dominated by the Catedral (1561), one of the oldest in the Americas. Inside you will find the large crucifix christened Cristo de las Ampollas (Christ of the Blisters) which has been on display here since 1645. It was carved in the 1500s out of wood from a miraculous tree, so called because it had caught fire but did not burn. Later the finished crucifix survived another disastrous fire, though its surface was blistered. Behind the Catedral on Calle 61 is the Museo de la Ciudad, which displays drawings, maps, plans, and photographs relating to the planning and growth of Mrida. Next to the Catedral, on the square, is Museo de Arte Contemporneo Ateneo de Yucatn (MACAY) which occupies a colonial building at the site of the archbishops palace, now destroyed. The gallery exhibits the best in modern art, with permanent exhibitions of Yucatecan and other Mexican artists, and a comprehensive program of temporary exhibitions. Further works by Fernando Castro Pancheco can be seen here, including some of his early pieces. The Plaza Major sits in a square between calles 60 and 62 (even street numbers travel eastwest) and calles 61 and 63 (odd street numbers travel northsouth); the surrounding streets boast numerous colonial gems that can only be appreciated by strolling around the town. For those with little time to spare, Calle 60 has the greatest concentrated collection. Walk north past the Governors Palace for three or four blocks, to take in the wrought-ironwork detail, and the balconies and walls of tropical-colored stucco that warms as the afternoon sun begins to mellow. One block north of Plaza Mayor you will find the tiny square of Parque Cepeda Peraza, bounded on one side by the Iglesia de Jess, built in the early 17th century by the Jesuit order. Beyond the church is another small square, Parque Morelos, which has a sculpture of Mother and Child,a copy of the Renoir piece found in Paris. The Teatro Pen Contreras occupies the northern corner of the square, with a Parisian-style caf and city tourist office on its first floor and a regular schedule of performances. The theatre is a splendid example of late 19th- early 20th-century architecture, with a sweeping marble staircase leading to a colonnaded upper balcony. Across the street is the Universidad de Yucatn; one block farther north is Parque Santa Luca. If you are walking, take a right at Calle 47 past Parque Santa Anna, then left at the traffic signal. This is Paseo Montejo, one of the finest streets in the city, known by citizens of Mrida as the Champs-Elyses of Yucatn. This tree-lined avenue was the place to live during the 19th century, and all the best families and rich henequen producers vied for the best plots along its length. The houses they built still have an elegance and stature, though many were lost to modern development, replaced by hotels and bank buildings in the latter half of the past century. The most impressive of the remaining period buildings is Palacio Canton, which now houses the Museo Regional de Antropologa e Historia (Regional Anthropological and History Museum). The beautiful plasterwork detail and marble floors of the palace are only surpassed by the wealth of Mayan artifacts on display. The museum displays illustrate the most recent theories on Mayan societyso much of which is still conjecture including trade patterns and social customs. On the second floor of the museum, exhibitions relate the methods used to excavate various sites around Yucatn. The museum is an excellent starting point for your tour of the Mayan sites. North from the museum, at a major intersection on the Paseo, is the Monumento a la Patria (Monument to the Fatherland, or National Monument). This huge limestone monument depicting Mayan, Spanish, and Mexican themes was begun in 1944 and completed in 1956. Mrida holds artistic and folkloric performances on every night of the week and an all-day event in the heart of the city on Sundays. See the What to Do section for more details. Although the Mayan city of THo has been completely swallowed by colonial Mrida, a 10-minute taxi ride north of the city is Dzibilchaltn, a city that thrived from 3000 b.c. on a marine economythe coast being only 32 km (20 miles) away. Archaeologists believe that at its peak in the late Classical period (a.d. 600900) the population reached 20,000, and that the function of the city changed over time from ceremonial to urban. El Templo de las Siete Muecas (called the Dolls House, in English) is the most interesting structure at the site; it is the only Mayan building with windows to be found so far, though these are not thought simply to have provided light for the room. The openings together with the doors frame the five segments of the sky marked by the solstices, the equinoxes, and the zenith. When archaeologists were excavating the building they found seven small clay dolls, each with a bodily deformity. No one is sure whether these were simply a childs toys or if they had a religious significance, but they gave the structure its name. The dolls are on display at the museum found just beyond the site entrance. Uxmal and the Puuc Route The region to the south of Mrida is known as the Puuc (pronounced pook). It has the highest ground in Yucatn, the Sierrita Puuca ridge of limestone hills 50 m (150 ft) in height, and thought to be the edge of a giant crater formed when a meteorite fell to earth millions of years ago. Today the land is home to communities of Mayan farmers, but the jungle has relinquished a number of fine ancient sites to explore. These sites are called the Puuc, and this name has also been taken to describe the characteristics of the architecture and design of the buildings here. The Puuc style is characterized by latticework carving on the lower faades, with masks and carvings on the upper levels. The Mayan settlements of the Puuc region were extremely rich in Classical and post-Classical times because the soil has always been extremely fertile. It produced, and in fact still does, several crops each year, where farmers on the lowland (the rest of Yucatn) could only produce one or maybe two. The surpluses produced allowed the community to support artisans such as stonemasonsmaking the buildings here very ornateand to trade with other communities for goods and raw materials not naturally available in the Puuc region. The route south from Mrida is the main road to the city of Campeche in the state of same name. Youll travel through countryside once filled with haciendas (old colonial farms very much like plantations in the Caribbean). When the henequen boom was at its height, the number of haciendas grew dramatically, but when the system was dismantled in 1937 most fell into decline. The hacienda consisted of a main house surrounded by its land, a factory, and a village for the hacienda workers. This would include a school and a company store where workers were forced to buy their supplies. Many of the modern villages of this region have their roots in the hacienda system. As you pass through them you may see an old chimney breaking above the tree line, a sure sign that the village was once part of a hacienda. Turn off at route 261 and at km 33 you will find Hacienda Yaxcopoil, one of the oldest in Yucatn and now a museum dedicated to the old lifestyle. The main house dates from the 17th century and has been owned by the present family since 1864. The whole site is faded and aging, yet it is still possible to discern vestiges of its glory days. It was one of the earliest and largest henequen plants in operation and the old factory engines can still be seen, along with stock rooms and tool stores surrounded by present-day crops growing in the fields. The plant stopped processing its own crops in 1984. The hacienda school still operatesbut now as a state school. The owner intends to preserve but not renovate the buildings, allowing the past to tell its story. Although many think Chichn Itz outshines it in size, Uxmal is considered the jewel of Mayan sites in Yucatn, its buildings richly decorated with elaborate carvings. At its peak between a.d. 600900 it is said to have had a population of around 25,000remarkable when you consider that it had no water supply and had to collect and store its needs artificially. One of the highlights of the site presents itself immediately as you enter. The magnificent Pirmide del Advino (Pyramid of the Magician, also called the Pyramid of the Dwarf) sits atop five older structures. This pyramid is unique for a number of reasons. It has rounded sides, giving it a softened shape. Its steep (even more precipitous than the normal elevations in the area), and the design of the doorway at the top, which is a huge representation of Chaac, is found at no other site. The faade of the upper levels is extremely ornate and the main staircase has a parallel row of large Chaac masks. It is closed to tourists at present, as work continues on exploring the inner chambers, but it is possible to study the whole faade from the courtyard in front of the pyramid. Next to the pyramid is the Cuadrngulo de las Monjas (Quadrangle of the Nuns), given its name in the 16th century because it resembled a Spanish monastery or nunnery. Its sizeover 70 roomshas caused archaeologists to postulate that it may have been a military academy, which expanded regularly throughout its history. The western building has the most richly carved faade. There are also numerous depictions of Mayan homes or nah, which have changed little since classical times and can still be found all across the countryside of Yucatn. The eastern building has a statue of a dwarf dressed in a turtle shell placed in a position normally associated with the rulers of Mayan cities. A serpent is entwined all along the upper faade around the statue. From its upper levels the many buildings at the site come clearly into view. The quadrangle is the setting for the Uxmal Light and Sound Show, which takes place every evening. South of the quadrangle, beyond a small ball court, the land rises to a higher level. Here another group of buildings forms the main center of focus at the site. The Casa de las Tortugas (Turtle House), so called because of numerous turtle motifs adorning it, is found immediately on the right. Beside, and totally dwarfing it, lies the Palacio del Gobernador (Governors Palace) with an imposing 100-m- (320-ft-) long faade. The building was erected in the 11th century for the ruler of the city, Halach Huinic (the true man), and consists of a central building flanked by two smaller wings. The frieze of Chaac masks is one of the most ornate and complex in the known Mayan world. Behind the palace is The Great Pyramid; it is less ornate than the palace, and only the front faade has been excavated. Beyond this area, there are several other groups of buildings, many of which have yet to be excavated, including the Dovecote Group (which includes the Casa de las Palomas, the House of Doves) and the Grupo del Cementario (Cemetery Group). Beyond these are several even more remote sites which can be visited, but you would benefit from the services of a guide to find them. Uxmal was a very rich city at the height of its powers and protector of many smaller settlements, which paid tribute to it both in food and money. A string of these sites now forms what is called the Puuc Route, and they can all be visited in one day. Though small, each one has something different to reveal. First in the tour is Kabah, only 27 km (17 miles) south of Uxmal. The major structure at the site is the Codz-Pop or Palace of the Masks, constructed in Chenes stylecharacterized by masks covering the whole faade of the structure from ground to roof. There are said to have been over 250 Chaac representationsa most impressive sight unique in the Mayan world. Codz-Pop means rolled-up sleeping mat, referring to the curled-up nose on the masks. Cross the main road dividing the site to find a restored archway, which once marked the end of a sacred sacb (Mayan road) from Uxmal. Eight kilometers (5 miles) south of Kabah is Sayil, famed for its major building, called El Palacio (the Palace) by the Spanish. With over 100 rooms, it would be important for its size alone, but the ornate decoration makes it even more impressive, with representations of the Descending God found so prominently at Tulum. Nearby Xlapak has only one major structure, a palace, but Labn, the final Puuc site on the tour, has a number of structures to explore. El Palacio here is decorated with alligators whose open jaws each have a human head emerging from them. This symbol, called Pop, is thought to be indicative of power and is only found at this site. A sacb links the palace to other parts of the site. The largest structure is the Mirador, a pyramid temple over 20 m (65 ft) high. Visitors in the 1900s found decoration on the building, which has since been worn away or lost. Next to the Mirador is the most famous sight in Labn, also much changed since its discovery. El Arco (the Arch), is late Puuc style and was thought to have been the entrance to the courtyard of a family residence. Though the arch remains, two ornate walls at either side of it have collapsed during the 20th century. Before leaving the Puuc area, visit the Loltn Caves. The guided tour through these impressive caverns takes 90 minutes; you can see evidence of where the Mayan rebels fortified the entrances during the War of the Castes in the 1840s. RURAL DELIVERY AND THE UNIVERSAL SERVICE OBLIGATION: A Quantitative Investigation Robert H. Cohen William W. Ferguson Spyros S. Xenakis Postal Rate Commission Office of Technical Analysis and Planning July 31, 1992 1. Introduction 1.1. Scope and Purpose It is widely believed that it costs more to provide rural areas with postal service than urban areas. This belief is based primarily on the perception of a cost differential between rural and city delivery.1 This perception is one of the bases for the argument that a universal service requirement is necessary to assure the continuation of rural delivery or at least the level of service currently accorded rural areas.2 The purpose of this paper is to analyze rural delivery costs and compare them with city delivery costs. Using routine cost data submitted in the course of postal rate proceedings, Section 2 of this paper compares the cost of rural and urban delivery, Section 3 shows the relationship of rural delivery cost to population density, Section 4 analyzes the "profitability" (viz., contribution to overhead) of serving rural areas, and Section 5 presents some concluding remarks and a brief summary. Before turning to Section 2, some background information on rural delivery and city delivery is offered. The views expressed in this paper are those of the authors and do not necessarily represent the opinions of the Postal Rate Commission. 1 According to the 1991 Comprehensive Statement on Postal Operations (p. 66), USPS delivery costs represent 30 percent of total costs; window service and mail processing, 32 percent; transportation, 7 percent; and administrative, building occupancy, and all other, 31 percent. 2 This paper focuses on the detailed comparison of delivery costs, between rural and urban areas. It does not purport to show the bearing, if any, this cost analysis might have on questions regarding the complex issue of the postal monopoly, which encompasses many issues beyond the scope of this paper. 1.2. Relation of Rural Routes to Demographically Designated Rural Areas The Postal Service has about three times as many city delivery letter routes as rural routes. City delivery routes serve geographic locations within the boundaries of a post office, while rural routes generally serve areas falling outside these boundaries.3 City and rural carriers are in separate labor unions, and their compensation is determined separately based on different factors. The United States Census Bureau (1990 data) reports that slightly under 25 percent of the 250 million people living in the United States live in rural areas.4 The remainder live in urban locations.5,6,7 In 1991, the United States postal system provided service to 102 million delivery points. City routes served 78.5 million and rural routes (including contract routes) served 23.4 million delivery points.8,9 A total of 95 million delivery points 3 United States cities and the areas served by their post offices often expand to absorb surrounding areas served by rural routes. It takes a great deal of time to administratively convert a rural route to a city delivery route. Thus, some rural routes will serve areas annexed by cities and their post offices. 4 Bureau of the Census press release, CB91-334, Dec. 18, 1991. 5 As defined for the 1980 census, urban areas include: (a) places of 2,500 or more inhabitants incorporated as cities, villages, boroughs (except Alaska and New York) and towns (except in the New England states, New York and Wisconsin), but excludes those persons living in the rural portions of extended cities; (b) census designated places of 2,500 or more inhabitants; and (c) other areas, incorporated or unincorporated, included in urbanized areas. All non-urban areas are rural. 6 The Census Bureau reports that in 1980 there were 6,619 incorporated places with more than 2,500 inhabitants. In 1991, the United States Postal Service provided city delivery to 6,625 post offices, but not all were in incorporated areas. 7 The United Nations has estimated that 27.5 percent of the population in the more developed nations would live in rural areas in 1990. See World Population Trends and Policies, 1987 Monitoring Report, The United Nations, Department of International Economic and Social Affairs, Population Division, page 176. 8 Comprehensive Statement on Postal Operations, 1991, p. 49. 9 Highway contract routes (star routes) are similar to rural routes. The difference is that the carrier is a contractor to the Postal Service, not an employee. Contract routes serve 1.4 million delivery points. are residences; the remainder are businesses. Thus, rural (and highway contract) routes serve slightly less than 25 percent of total residential delivery points; this is the same as the percentage of the population living in rural areas. 1.3. Description of Rural and City Delivery All rural routes use vehicles to deliver to a box placed along the roadside, and virtually all provide six-day-a-week delivery. A rural route is defined in terms of the roads it traverses. Homes or businesses not located on one of these roads must place a mail receptacle along the route traveled. For this reason, boxes will frequently be clustered where a rural route intersects roads not on the route. In this sense, rural service is inferior to city delivery where service is provided to (or in close proximity to) each building served. Most city delivery routes are "park-and-loop" routes. The carrier on these routes uses a vehicle to drive to various points along the route where the carrier dismounts and delivers to a portion of the route on foot. Some city delivery routes, called "curb line routes," use vehicles to provide curbside delivery to a mail receptacle along the curb as is done by rural routes. A third type of city delivery route is the "foot route." City routes are further categorized as "business," "residential," and "mixed" (business and residential) routes. Business routes (consisting of at least 70 percent business deliveries), which account for less than one percent of all possible city deliveries,10 are five-day-per-week routes. Mail on all other city routes is delivered six days a week. Very few routes service businesses or residences exclusively. For example, on residential routes (which account for 94 percent of all possible city deliveries), businesses account for five percent of possible deliveries. The percentage of possible deliveries on rural routes that are businesses is not known. Although the activities of city and rural carriers are similar, some minor differences exist: -rural carriers spend about three percent of their total time providing retail services 10 "Possible delivery" is used to describe a household or business address (including apartments and suites) to which mail might be delivered by city carriers. "Box" is used to describe the receptacles each family or business sets up on a rural route to which mail might be delivered. The two terms stand for similar concepts and for purposes of this paper are used interchangeably. (e.g., selling postage stamps, rating and receiving parcels, etc.); -city carriers provide no retail services; -rural carriers transport mail to and from small post offices along their route; and -city carriers sweep more collection boxes along their routes than do rural carriers. 2. Comparison of the Cost of City and Rural Delivery 2.1. Comparison of Carrier Time Required to Serve City and Rural Areas Table 1 shows that the average time per day per possible delivery is 1.04 minutes for city delivery11 and 1.07 minutes for rural delivery. (This small difference would be further reduced if retail activities of rural carriers were not counted.) The virtual equality of the average carrier time to serve urban and rural customers is a major finding of this paper. Part of the explanation for this finding can be inferred from table 1- businesses require considerably more time per possible city delivery than do residences. The average possible delivery on business routes requires five times as much carrier time as the average possible delivery on residential routes. There are several reasons for this large difference in carrier time: -Businesses receive almost three times as many pieces per possible delivery as do residences. The statistics shown in table 1 (row 2) reflect both in-office and out-of-office delivery time.12 In-office time is closely related to volume. -In business areas, carriers travel by foot, and many deliver in large office buildings to individual suites. 11 This analysis includes only city delivery letter routes. It excludes parcel post and support routes which primarily serve business districts in larger cities. 12 City and rural carriers typically spend between three and four hours in the office preparing for delivery. Table 1 Selected Statisticsa for City Delivery and Rural Delivery Routes (1989) City Item Residential Park & Foot Curb Loop City Residential, Business All Businessb and Mixed Rural Park & Total All Foot Curb Loop Total 1. Possible Deliveries11.5 15.1 46.9 73.4 0.6 12.6 15.7 49.7 78.1 20.5 (millions) 2. Minutes per Day per Possible Delivery 1.00 0.83 1.01 0.97 5.55 1.21 0.85 1.06 1.04 1.07 (in-office and out-of-office) 3. Seconds per Piece13.24 9.54 12.93 12.22 21.44 14.78 9.69 12.98 12.50 14.94 (in-office and out-of-office) 4. Pieces per Day per Possible Delivery 4.53 5.21 4.70 4.78 15.52 4.89 5.28 4.92 5.01 4.30 a See Appendix A for source. b Reflects the fact that business routes receive service only 5 days per week. -There are no curb delivery routes in business areas. Curb routes are suitable only for residential areas. Table 1 (row 2) shows that they require less time than either foot or park-and-loop routes. On the other hand, a direct comparison of rural to city residential delivery reveals that rural carrier time per possible delivery is only ten percent greater than city residential route delivery time. (Seven percent higher if retail service costs are eliminated from rural.) There are at least three major reasons for rural route time per possible delivery being so close to the corresponding time for city residential routes: -Rural routes are the functional equivalent of curbline city delivery, the most efficient form of city residential delivery. Curbline routes, however, account for only 21 percent of city residential possible deliveries. -Rural routes have only 4.3 pieces per possible delivery, while city residential routes have 4.8. Thus they incur less in-office costs.13 -As described earlier, rural customers who do not live along the rural route must place a mail receptacle along the rural route. Thus, rural mail boxes tend to cluster where roads (not on the route) intersect with the carrier's route. A rural carrier can serve a cluster of boxes much faster than if the individual boxes were spread out along the route where the carrier would have to slow down, stop, and accelerate for each one. Thus far, we have examined carrier time per possible delivery or per box. We now turn to the carrier time per piece delivered. Table 1 (row 3) shows that carrier time per piece delivered is 12.5 seconds per piece for all city and 12.2 seconds for residential city. This contrasts with 14.9 seconds per piece for rural routes. Thus, on a delivered piece basis, rural routes use 20 percent more carrier time than do all city routes, and 22 percent more than city residential routes. The major explanation for this is fewer average pieces per possible delivery per day for rural routes (row 4). 13 Part of the reason for the difference in pieces per possible delivery may be due to the fact that five percent of possible residential deliveries are businesses, and it is thought, but not known, that a lesser percentage of possible deliveries on rural routes are businesses. 2.2. Labor Cost The previous section compared city and rural delivery on the basis of time. This section estimates postal labor delivery cost that corresponds to units of time in order to convert time into money in subsequent sections. The Postal Service uses both full-time regular carriers and casual employees (less than full-time or temporary) on its city and rural routes. Casual employees are paid lower wages and have fewer fringe benefits. Consequently, their cost to the Postal Service is far less than for full-time employees. Full-time rural carriers' compensation is slightly lower than full-time city carriers. They incur less overtime and the rural carrier work force has a higher proportion of casual employees. As a result, rural carrier labor cost to the Postal Service in 1989 averaged $20.60 per work hour, or 34.3 per minute.14,15 In contrast, in 1989 city carrier labor cost the Postal Service $24.49 per work hour, or 40.8 per minute.16 The difference in labor costs for rural and city carriers has its roots in the development of the two crafts. In another postal system there might be no differences in the compensation of city and rural carriers or it might be much larger. In the United States, rural wages are generally lower than urban wages. For purposes of city and rural delivery cost analysis, we present (1) a comparison using the actual labor costs of the two crafts, and (2) a comparison using the average labor costs of all Postal Service collective bargaining employees. This will allow both an actual cost analysis and a resource comparison of city and rural routes. The average labor cost per bargaining unit employee in 1989 was $24.09 per work hour or 40.2 per minute.17 This is very close to the average city carrier cost. 14 Highway contract carriers have compensation much lower than rural carriers. Because they are not postal employees, we do not include them in postal labor costs. 15 See Appendix B for derivation. Includes wages, premium payments (e.g., 17 See Footnote 15. 2.3. Delivery Vehicle Cost Rural carriers furnish their own vehicles and provide all maintenance, repairs, and fuel, for which they are paid an allowance.18 In 1989, rural carriers received an average of 34 cents per mile as a motor vehicle allowance. The average length of a rural route is 55 miles. The average annual cost per rural route is shown in table 2. Those city delivery carriers who make use of a vehicle are furnished with one by the Postal Service which also provides all maintenance, repairs, and fuel. City carriers drive an estimated 15 miles per day. Analyzing Postal Service accounts for depreciation, fuel, and maintenance for city delivery carriers, we have estimated the average city delivery vehicle cost per route.19 This is also shown in table 2. Rural vehicle cost per box or possible delivery is twice the average city carrier vehicle cost per possible delivery. Rural vehicle cost per delivered piece is two and a half times city carrier cost per delivered piece. It should be borne in mind that, though the "city" column divides total city vehicle cost by 18 In 1989, the rural carrier vehicle allowance was 31 cents per mile or a minimum of $12.40 per day, whichever was greater. 19 See Appendix C. the total number of city routes (including foot routes), only 84 percent of possible city deliveries are made by city carriers using vehicles. 2.4. Comparison of Direct Labor Plus Vehicle Cost to Serve City and Rural Areas Table 3 combines labor cost with vehicle cost for city and rural carriers. It shows that when vehicle costs are added, the difference in cost per box per day between city and rural carriers depends heavily on which labor cost is used. Using actual labor costs, the city cost per box per day is 7.5 percent higher. Using the average bargaining labor cost, city delivery is 8 percent lower. On a cost-per-piece basis, city costs are 8 percent lower using actual labor costs and 21 percent lower using the average bargaining labor costs. 3. Relation of Rural Delivery Cost to Population Density A priori, population density should have an important effect on rural delivery cost. We have no data available which directly relate rural delivery cost to population density, but it seems very likely that boxes per mile is highly correlated with population density. In order to examine the impact of density on cost, rural routes have been divided into quintiles based on boxes per mile. Table 4 displays the relevant data. It can be seen that there is wide variation between the quintiles. In the extreme, the average number of boxes per route differs by a factor of two. The average number of miles differs by a factor of 4.5. Average boxes per mile differ by a factor of nine. Moreover, with the exception of daily evaluated time and daily pieces delivered per box, the average values of all variables change monotonically. Thus, they are correlated with boxes per mile. Table 4 Distribution of Rural Routes by Density (Boxes per Mile) Selective Averagesa (1989) a See Appendix A for source. The first or least densely populated quintile stands out from the remaining four. Its time per box is half again larger than the mean for all rural routes and it is nearly two standard deviations greater than the mean for all rural routes. The other four quintiles are less than one standard deviation from the mean. Moreover, the first quintile stands apart in that its seconds per piece is also nearly two standard deviations greater than the mean, while the other four are all less than one standard deviation from the mean.20 Thus, the two measures of cost for the first quintile are substantially greater than for the other four quintiles. This will be seen clearly in Section 4, where the profitability of rural delivery is calculated for each quintile. It would not be surprising to find that the percentage of boxes which are businesses increases as population density increases. If this is true, it could at least partially explain why the number of pieces delivered per box is so much larger for the fourth and fifth quintile than it is for the other three. Finally, the variability (or elasticity) of time with respect to volume for the five quintiles differs greatly: All 1st 2nd 3rd 4th 5th Routes .29 .37 .44 .53 .57 .44 Thus, for example, if the volume in the first quintile were to double, total cost would increase by 29 percent. The variation between quintiles can be explained by greater fixed costs in the less densely populated quintiles than in the more populated quintiles. The time required to drive the route is fixed, and driving time represents a greater proportion of total cost in the less densely populated quintiles. Figure 1 displays the minutes per box per day as a function of density. It can be seen that time per box drops off sharply at the low end of the density spectrum and then it flattens. 20 The daily evaluated time per box for all routes (1.07 minutes) has a standard deviation of 0.30 minutes. The daily evaluated time per piece for all routes (14.94 seconds) has a standard deviation of 4.64 seconds. 2.400000 2.200000 2.000000 1.800000 1.600000 1.400000 1.200000 1.000000 0.800000 0.600000 0 5 1015202530354045 In order to isolate the effect of density on time per box, the elasticity of time per box with respect to density has been calculated using the route evaluation factors (which are used to determine rural carrier pay). Holding constant the pieces per rural box and route miles, a one percent increase in density reduces out-of-office time per box by 0.44 percent and total time per box by 0.27 percent.21 21 The relation between time per box and boxes per mile (density) is exponential, or linear in logarithms. The Pearson correlation coefficient between the logarithmic values of the two variables is -78.60 percent. The econometrically estimated constant elasticity coefficient of a simple log- linear model with time per box as the dependent variable and boxes per mile as the explanatory variable is -27.45 percent with a t value of -266.22. 4. "Profitability" of Serving Rural Areas22 This section addresses the question: Does the United States Postal Service find it remunerative to serve rural areas? A revenue/cost model of rural delivery has been constructed to determine the profitability23,24 of rural delivery by quintile. Its simple structure is presented below: Model for Calculating Profit (Loss) Per Box 22 "Profit" here means contribution to fixed overhead costs over and above paying the fixed overhead of rural delivery. 23 The model presented here is valid only for an unsubsidized postal system such as the Postal Service. 24 The simplifying assumption is made that there is no cost difference between city and rural mail with respect to mail processing, transportation, and retail service. Line 1-the revenue per rural box per day is calculated by multiplying average Postal Service revenue per piece (from the Revenue, Pieces and Weight Report for 1989) times the average number of pieces per box per day (from table 4). Line 2-rural delivery cost per box per day consists of (1) labor cost, (2) vehicle cost, and (3) indirect costs.25 Labor cost per box is obtained by multiplying labor cost per minute (from Section 2.1) by the average number of minutes per box (from table 4). Vehicle cost per box per day are from table 2.26 Because there are two labor costs per minute, one actual and the other theoretical, the model is used separately for each labor cost and provides two annual profit (loss) computations. Line 3-here the model takes into account the cost of getting mail to the point of delivery (e.g., processing, transportation, administrative, retail, etc.). This is done by bifurcating the average attributable cost27 per piece into delivery attributable cost28 and nondelivery attributable cost.29 Rural carrier cost and the nondelivery attributable cost are then subtracted to arrive at a profit (loss) per box per day. Observers familiar with Postal Rate Commission costing procedures will recognize that rural delivery cost per box includes the attributable and institutional costs associated with that function. The Commission found in the most recent omnibus rate case (Docket R90-1), that 39 percent of rural delivery costs are attributable (i.e., vary with volume) and 61 percent are 25 Appendix D presents indirect costs in more detail and shows how they are calculated. 26 Dr. John Haldi has brought to our attention that the daily vehicle cost per box is not the same for all quintiles, as was assumed in an early version of the paper, but decreases with population density. The estimated daily vehicle cost per box in the revenue/cost model now recognizes the density differences among the five quintiles: 27 Attributable costs are the postal costs causally traceable to mail. They consist predominantly of volume variable costs. The remaining costs are called institutional costs, and they can be treated as fixed. In the United States, the Rate Commission determines the attributable cost for each class and subclass of mail. Its most recent analysis is contained in the Docket R90-1 Opinion and Recommended Decision. 28 These are the attributable (direct and indirect) costs arising from the delivery function. We have estimated them for purposes of this analysis. 29 These are total attributable costs minus delivery attributable costs. institutional (i.e., nonvariable).30 Because such a large percentage of the costs are fixed, the profitability calculation is sensitive to both the average revenue per piece and the average pieces per box. If the postal system operated at a lower scale, revenue per piece would need to be higher to maintain the same revenue cost balance. It is not clear, without further analysis, what would happen to profitability if the system operated at a lower scale.31 The average revenue per piece for the entire Postal Service is used to estimate the average revenue per box. We have no independent estimate of the average revenue for mail delivered by rural carriers. If mail delivered by rural carriers has a different composition compared to the system as a whole, profitability conclusions would vary. In that case, the nondelivery attributable costs would vary in the same direction as revenue, but not by enough to offset the revenue change. Table 5 provides both the input and output for the profitability calculations for all rural routes in 1989. It can be seen that by serving all rural routes and using actual labor costs, the Postal Service realized an average profit of 10.8 cents per box per day, or a total annual profit for all rural routes of $669 million. To put this figure in perspective, the total accrued expenditures for the Postal Service in 1989 were $39 billion.32 Table 5 shows that, using the average labor cost for all bargaining employees, the profit drops to $283 million. The profit from serving all rural routes is obviously highly sensitive to the labor cost of rural carriers. However, using either labor cost figure, rural delivery was profitable for the Postal Service. If, in 1989, the Postal Service's overall surplus had been much larger, the profit from rural delivery would no doubt have been greater. Conversely, if the year had been one in which the Service had a sizeable deficit, rural delivery would have been less profitable. Fortunately for purposes of this analysis, the Service essentially broke even in 1989 and so the profit from 30 In Docket R90-1, the variability or elasticity of evaluated rural route costs with respect to volume was estimated at 44 percent by the Postal Service. 31 It does seem clear that the ratio of mail delivered to rural boxes to mail delivered to city addresses is an important factor in determining profitability. 32 The Postal Service surplus for 1989 was under $100 million. rural delivery need not be interpreted based on the Postal Service's overall financial results. Table 6 displays the profitability of all five quintiles of rural routes (based on population density) using both actual compensation and average bargaining compensation. It can be seen that the profit per box differs substantially from the first (or least densely populated) quintile of rural routes to the fifth (or most densely populated) quintile. Using actual labor cost only, the first quintile was unprofitable, while, using average bargaining labor cost, the first two quintiles were unprofitable. Because the most densely populated quintiles of routes serve more boxes, their total profit is disproportionate to their per- box profit. Using either labor cost, the third, fourth, and fifth quintiles were profitable. Given the assumptions discussed above, rural delivery is remunerative and it is unlikely that it would be abandoned if the universal service requirement were eliminated. Some observers, however, might expect the Postal Service to either drop or reduce the level of service to the boxes in the first or second quintiles of rural routes. The first quintile comprises only 2.5 percent of all addresses served by rural and city carriers combined. The second serves 3.9 percent. 5. Concluding Remarks and Summary 5.1. Concluding Remarks While the boxes served by the quintile of routes serving the least densely populated areas are unprofitable, we believe that it is unlikely that the Postal Service would discontinue service to them (or try to decrease their level of service) if the universal service requirement were eliminated. -The total loss on those boxes is small relative to total costs of the Postal Service. -Because these routes are scattered all over the country, boxes on these routes are not easily identifiable without consulting an extensive list. Consequently, it would be costly for firms to separate mail addressed to these boxes from their remaining mail. -The transaction costs involved in putting pieces addressed to boxes in the first quintile of rural routes in the hands of another delivery firm, which would serve these addresses, would also be high. -If these addresses were dropped from the delivery network, it would likely reduce the volume of mail sent by these addresses to the remaining portions of the delivery network. Thus, profitable volume would be lost. Perhaps the above four points are simply underlying reasons for the truism that for common carriers serving the general population, larger service networks (be they mail, package, overnight, or telephone) are more valuable to customers and providers than smaller service networks. It is no accident that, within the United States, United Parcel Service provides ubiquitous service for parcels.33 Federal Express and other overnight carriers do the same for overnight delivery. Moreover, the major long distance telephone carriers also provide ubiquitous service. Quite possibly, all of these common carriers find that sparsely settled portions of the country are unprofitable to serve. That these organizations provide universal service suggests that rural areas would receive postal service even absent a universal service requirement. 5.2. Summary -In the United States postal system, there is no real difference in the carrier time required to serve city and rural addresses. -The average city delivery cost reflects the higher cost of serving businesses compared to residences. -Rural delivery cost reflects a lower level of service than city delivery. 33 UPS does not provide parcel service at the ordinary rate to the Alaska bush where there are no roads and service must be provided by air. -Because fewer pieces are delivered per box on rural routes than per possible delivery on city routes, the per piece delivery cost is higher for rural routes than for city routes. -The cost of delivery per box for the least densely populated quintile of rural routes is much higher than the average for all rural routes. -The revenue from mail delivered to rural areas as a whole exceeds the cost of handling and delivering that mail. -There is a loss on serving the least densely populated quintile of rural routes. -It is likely that if the universal service requirement were eliminated, even the most sparsely populated rural areas would receive service. Appendix A. Major Data Sources A.1. City Delivery Carrier Data The 1989 city delivery carrier data used in this paper are based on information from several Postal Service data systems. Total city delivery carrier work hoursa come from payroll hours accounting systems data made available in the most recent rate proceeding. These work hours are apportioned among city delivery carrier route types on the basis of cost allocations from the In-Office Cost System,b an ongoing work sampling system that is used to allocate costs for certain labor crafts among different activities and rate categories for ratemaking purposes. Information concerning the total number of possible deliveries is taken from the 1989 City Delivery National Totals Report. Carrier Cost System (CCS) data are used to allocate total possible deliveries among different route types and to determine the average pieces per possible delivery for different delivery and route types on letter routes. The CCS is used in rate cases to determine attributable costs and associated distribution keys for certain city carrier activities. CCS data are collected throughout the year from over 500 thousand sampled stops on city delivery letter routes. A.2. Rural Delivery Carrier Data Most rural routes are evaluated routes. Evaluated routes are those routes for which the rural carrier's annual salary is calculated using a set of standard time allowances. Time standards are applied to workload elements (e.g., mileage, delivery boxes, quantity of mail by shape, etc.) to calculate the total evaluated time required to serve a rural route, and thus the salary of the carrier serving that route. To measure the workload elements needed to calculate the evaluated time, a National Mail Count for most rural routes is conducted periodically in accordance with the labor agreement between the United States Postal Service and the union of rural carriers. The statistics on rural routes presented in this paper are based on the 1989 National Mail Count data.c a Docket R90-1, USPS-LR-F-342. b Docket R90-1, USPS-T-13, W/S 7.0.7, p. 1. c The Postal Service used a sample of the 1989 National Mail Count data to measure the elasticity (variability) of rural carrier costs with respect to mail volume. Docket R90-1, USPS-T-13, Appendix F. The 1989 National Mail Count was conducted for 24 delivery days from September 5 to October 2, 1989, and included 44,775 rural routes out of a total of 46,197. Data for a few of the counted rural routes appeared to be internally inconsistent. Counted routes that had one or more of the following properties were deleted:d -A difference between weekly actual and evaluated time greater than 1,000 minutes. This edit resulted in 931 deletions. Data from the remaining 43,844 rural routes were used to calculate the statistics presented in this paper. d The Postal Service performed a similar edit on the sample of routes selected for measuring the elasticity of rural carrier costs. Docket R90-1, USPS-T-13, Appendix F, p. F-8. a PRC Library Reference 5, Docket R90-1. b USPS City Delivery Statistics National Totals, FY 1989. c L.1/L.2. d Six (6) delivery days per week times 52 weeks less 10 holidays. e L.3/L.4. f L.1/L.6. g L.7/L.4. h L.8/5.01. The denominator (5.01) is the average number of pieces per day per possible delivery for city delivery routes from table 1. a Costs for rural carriers estimated as a percentage of rural carrier direct labor costs to total labor costs. b 46,197 rural routes from the USPS FY 1989 Rural Delivery Statistics National Report times 442.79 (the average number of boxes served per route) from the 1989 Rural Carrier National Mail Count. c L.4/L.5. d Six (6) delivery days per week times 52 weeks less 10 holidays. e L.6/L.7. LEGAL SERVICES CORPORATION BOARD OF DIRECTORS COMMENTS ON THE OFFICE OF INSPECTOR GENERAL'S SEMIANNUAL REPORT TO THE CONGRESS FOR THE PERIOD OCTOBER 1, 2000 - MARCH 31, 2001 MAY 31, 2001 FOREWORD I am pleased to transmit the comments of the Legal Services Corporation ("LSC" or "Corporation") Board of Directors ("Board") regarding the Semiannual Report of LSC's Office of Inspector General ("OIG") for the six-month period of October 1, 2000 through March 31, 2001. LSC's Board recognizes the value of the Inspector General function and remains committed to working with the OIG to achieve our goal of providing high quality legal assistance to the poor of our nation. We note, in particular, our support of the OIG's work to strengthen LSC recipients' compliance efforts and Case Service Reporting, which has resulted in increased accuracy in the documentation of the performance of LSC recipients. Douglas S. Eakeley, Chairman Legal Services Corporation May 31, 2001 MESSAGE OF THE BOARD OF DIRECTORS During the reporting period, LSC made continued progress in its State Planning Initiative. Building State Justice Communities: A State Planning Report from the Legal Services Corporation, issued in March 2001, highlights the state planning successes of 18 states in developing coordinated plans to increase resources and services to clients statewide.1 The report shows the variety of ways in which these states have strengthened their equal justice systems, providing models and inspiration for others. All 18 states improved access to justice for low-income people, strengthened the quality of legal services delivered by programs,2 and forged new and deeper bonds among stakeholder partners in each state's civil justice community. Since 1998, LSC has restructured legal services programs in 24 states, and the number of LSC grant recipients has decreased from 269 in 1997, to 167 anticipated grantees (Basic Field and Native American grants) in calendar year 2002. LSC's State Planning Initiative is premised on the belief that LSC-funded programs must: ?? function as a concerted, coherent, closely coordinated legal assistance delivery system; ?? include other equal justice partners in the creation and implementation of this coordinated delivery system; ?? develop additional resources to expand legal services; ?? incorporate the views of clients and key partners in making major decisions about how to design and implement a comprehensive system of high quality legal services; and ?? target legal services resources to achieve the greatest measure of equal justice for clients and economically disadvantaged people. LSC's ultimate goal in this regard is to help grantees create state communities of justice - integrated and coordinated legal services delivery systems which 1 California, Colorado, Florida, Illinois, Indiana, Maine, Maryland, Minnesota, Missouri, New Hampshire, New Jersey, Ohio, Oregon, Pennsylvania, South Carolina, Utah, Washington, West Virginia. 2 'Programs', 'recipients', and 'grantees' are used interchangeably in this report to refer to recipients of LSC funding. comprehensively improve grantees' delivery of services to clients. LSC has made significant progress in this effort and continues to assist recipients in improving the quality of legal services nationwide. To further its goal of expanding recipients' use of technology, LSC is proceeding with its second round of Technology Initiative Grants, it has consulted with grantees on the selection of case management software which will accommodate merger-related technology needs, and it has provided continued technology training to recipients. BACKGROUND Legal Services Corporation The Legal Services Corporation is a private, non-profit corporation established in the District of Columbia by the Legal Services Corporation Act of 1974, as amended ("the LSC Act"), 3 to provide financial support for legal assistance in civil proceedings to persons unable to afford legal services. LSC is governed by an eleven-member bipartisan Board of Directors appointed by the President of the United States with the advice and consent of the Senate. The Board appoints LSC's President, who serves as the Corporation's chief executive officer, subject to general policies established by the Board. The 1988 Amendments to the Inspector General Act of 1978 ("1978 Act") required LSC to establish an Office of Inspector General ("OIG") and extended specific provisions of the 1978 Act to LSC. Accordingly, such an office was established by and for LSC. The Inspector General is appointed by, reports to and serves under the general supervision of LSC's Board of Directors. Funding and Grant-Making Activities LSC received a Congressional appropriation of $330 million for FY 2001, with which it made grants to 207 programs to provide free legal services to indigent persons across the country. Of the funds received for FY 2001, $7-million will be used for client self help and information technology. 3 42 U.S.C. ? ? 2996-2996l. MANAGEMENT INITIATIVES During this reporting period, LSC continued its efforts to improve the efficiency of its competitive grant award system and the effectiveness of the delivery of legal assistance by its initiative for statewide planning and coordination of legal services. The Corporation continued to demonstrate its ability to ensure both compliance with program rules and regulations, and the maintenance of high quality legal assistance to eligible clients. Strategic Directions LSC continues to implement its five (5) year Strategic Direction Plan ("the Plan"). Adopted by the Board of Directors on January 28, 2000, the Plan commits LSC to dramatically enhance the impact of legal services programs throughout the nation by improving access to legal services while enhancing their quality. The Plan emphasizes LSC's State Planning Initiative, as well as the increased use of technology, as significant strategies for expanding access to, and availability of, civil legal services throughout the United States. LSC is developing performance measures to assess the ongoing effectiveness of its strategic plan, and will undertake pilot projects in up to five programs in 2001. Competition and State Planning LSC's primary goals for the calendar year 2002 grants competition are to refine the Request for Proposal ("RFP"), simplify the applicant process for competing for LSC grants, and obtain applicant information essential to maintaining a quality legal services delivery system. Several refinements have been incorporated into the RFP for 2002 funding, including: questions on applicant staff diversity; staff recruitment and retention strategies; staff training; and applicant strategic planning. RFP inquiries on technology are streamlined and incorporated into the RFP form for technology, which allows LSC to assess the technological capacities of the delivery system. The RFP was also modified to obtain more comprehensive information on sub-grantees that receive twenty-five percent (25%) or more of the LSC grant award, and sub-grantees that deliver a full range of services to a specific geographic area within the applicant's service area. Evaluation weights assigned to RFP topics have been restructured to correspond with the modifications made to the RFP. LSC continues to make the most use of available technology. The RFP is fully electronic and is available from the Internet at www.ain.lsc.gov. The technology used to capture and evaluate information in response to the RFP permits LSC to compile and assess key information about the delivery system at the program, state, regional, and national level. LSC continues to provide technical assistance to grantees in many areas of state planning including, but not limited to, development and implementation of state plans, resource development, and mergers. During this reporting period, LSC retained consultants to assist planning efforts in Florida, North Carolina, New York, Missouri, Ohio, South Carolina, and Wisconsin. Technical assistance contracts supported resource development activities in Alabama, Louisiana, Nebraska and the District of Columbia. In March, LSC organized and sponsored a national 2-day training on mergers attended by 90 participants. These efforts have resulted in the development of additional resources for civil legal services, new and more efficient ways of providing legal information and advice to low-income persons, and more effective and economical structures to assure equal justice to greater numbers of Americans. Technology Efforts LSC is in the process of reviewing and awarding its second round of Technology Initiative Grants ("TIGs"). It has received 95 applications with total grant requests of over $19-million, for projects totaling $36 million. Twenty-three of these requests are for implementation of statewide web site templates developed in the FY 2000 grant competition. If funded, these projects would provide the potential for half of the states to provide clients with legal information and pro se resources on a statewide basis. LSC continues to provide assistance to former recipients of TIGs. In October 2000 and March 2001, LSC hosted meetings of TIG recipients to discuss the administration of the grants. Additionally, LSC has created a web site for the collaboration of TIG recipients. At the Equal Justice Conference ("EJC") held in March 2001 in San Diego, LSC and the Project for the Future of Equal Justice held the second Case Management Software pre-conference. The primary goal of this gathering was to address issues generated by LSC's State Planning Initiative and resulting mergers. At the meeting, representatives from LSC and TIG recipients discussed the creation of central databases for a program, region, or state, using various applications such as WAN, SQL or Citrix. During the reporting period, LSC provided technology training at the Southeast Projects Directors meeting; the Committee On Regional Training for Michigan, Ohio, and West Virginia; the Indiana Access to Justice Conference; the EJC; the National Legal Aid and Defender Association; and the Management Information Exchange. It also provided assistance to several states with the development of statewide technology plans. Finally, in October 2000, LSC, in conjunction with the National Center for State Courts, the State Justice Institute, and the Open Society Institute, convened a conference of representatives from legal services, state courts, bar associations, and other community partners to forge collaborations to advance pro se efforts in eight states. Program Visits To assure the provision of high quality legal assistance to eligible clients, LSC's Office of Program Performance ("OPP") instituted a written protocol for conducting program reviews. LSC published a Program Review Guide to aid staff and consultants while conducting on site recipient reviews. All program reviews are conducted to enhance the purpose of the Corporation's Strategic Direction Plan. The on site visits are conducted for the purpose of program monitoring and development, to solve problems, and to develop new strategies for expanding access and enhancing quality of services to clients. Ten programs were chosen for visits in 2001. One visit was conducted in April; one is scheduled for May; two are scheduled for June; two are scheduled for July; and one is scheduled for September. Dates for three additional visits will be selected in the near future. 'The Results Project' 'The Results Project' is aimed at gauging, for the first time, the type and volume of work, other than the handling of cases, in which LSC-funded programs engage. LSC has long noted that its programs provide referrals and community legal education, engage in outreach, and work cooperatively with other groups to address the needs of the LSC client community. LSC recognizes that this work entails great effort and produces significant results. 'The Results Project' will enable LSC to describe and quantify that work. LSC has endeavored to minimize the burden on programs in the collection of this information through the design of a carefully developed data collection instrument, the collection of information only once a year, and through efforts to modify existing case management systems to allow for collection of this information. The project attempts to identify the number of people served by the following types of work, and obtain descriptions of programs' efforts and of successes. ?? Referrals; ?? Community legal education presentations; ?? Community legal education materials, articles and web sites; ?? Pro se clinics, distribution of pro se materials including the technologically enhanced approaches; ?? Indirect services such as training to other (lay) service providers and collaborative service delivery models; and ?? Other services such as mediation and alternative dispute resolution work. The draft of the instrument to collect this information was tested by 22 programs. LSC is in the process of reviewing the test results in order to make appropriate improvements. Regular data collection is scheduled to begin July 1, 2001. Diversity To better serve clients and strengthen program staff and leadership sensitivity to client communities, LSC has convened a series of conferences on diversity. These conferences will enable program staff to examine the degree to which gender, race, ethnicity and age have adversely affected the ability of some clients to obtain critical legal services from LSC recipients. The first conference was held on March 31, 2001 in conjunction with the 2001 Equal Justice Conference, and others are planned later in 2001. Client Conference In April 2001, just beyond the reporting period, LSC held a three-day conference in Hershey, Pennsylvania, entitled "Creating Client-Centered State Communities of Justice". The conference provided a forum for the exchange of ideas about methods by which the legal services community can better empower, strengthen and enhance the lives of legal services clients. It convened client and community advocates, as well as legal services staff who embrace the concept of client-centered legal services. Sixteen (16) conference papers were written by legal services leaders across the country on topics that enhanced and enlightened the conference discussions. The conference was attended by a diverse group of more than seventy (70) individuals, comprised of clients and client advocates, members of the bench and the academic community, LSC board members and staff, and national partners. Conference participants reflected a true cross section of the country, with clients and advocates attending from more than twenty-eight (28) states. As part of the participant solicitation process, applicants were asked to commit to lead and participate in at least one statewide activity that will promote positive, lasting change in the client community. LSC will publish a report on the conference in June 2001. The report will capture the ideas, recommendations, and strategies from the conference and serve as a possible guide to help clients and advocates facilitate client-centered legal services delivery in their communities. Characteristics of Model Intake Systems As a part of its effort to encourage and promote innovative procedures, LSC is producing a listing of draft characteristics of ideal telephone intake, advice, and referral systems. LSC and its OIG have, for many years, been committed to promoting these systems. In arriving at the draft characteristics, LSC staff considered a variety of documents describing standards for intake systems, including those published by the ABA and AARP. LSC also solicited input from leaders in the area of intake systems and presented the draft characteristics during a workshop on "Best Practices" at the March ABA/NLADA Equal Justice Conference. In early May 2001, shortly beyond the reporting period, LSC's Office of Program Performance ("OPP") notified programs that it was accepting comments to draft characteristics of a telephone intake advice and referral system. The Draft Characteristics were posted on the LSC Recipient Information Network and were sent to all program directors via electronic mail. After considering comments from recipients and advocates, OPP intends to publish the characteristics in a Program Letter and use them as the best practice standard when evaluating programs' intake systems. Program Mergers/Consolidations In anticipation of many program mergers or consolidations due to the reconfiguration of service areas for 2002, LSC, along with the National Legal Aid and Defender Association and the Management Information Exchange sponsored a "Making Mergers Work" workshop during the March ABA/NLADA Equal Justice Conference. Approximately 70 participants examined the practicalities of mergers and consolidations; considered ways in which new service area configurations can better serve clients; prepared for the challenges of joining different program cultures and emerging with an effective larger organization; and talked with peers about the specific opportunities and problems they face. LSC staff presented a session on LSC program requirements for mergers and consolidations. The Office of Program Performance has revised internal procedures for handling program mergers/consolidations. LSC grant conditions require that programs obtain LSC approval of a merger or consolidation before LSC will allow the transfer of the grant from one program to another. LSC's internal procedures for clearing mergers and consolidations involve the work of several offices within LSC including the Executive Office, the Office of Inspector General, the Office of Compliance and Enforcement, the Office of Legal Affairs and the Office of Information Management, with the Office of Program Performance having primary responsibility for the clearance process. Shortly beyond the reporting period in May 2001, the Office of Program Performance held a special telephonic conference for 2002 grant applicants involved in mergers/consolidations. This session focused on how programs should complete grant applications, and the new grant application requirements for applicants which anticipate sub-granting part of the LSC grant during the grant year. Rulemaking Activities During the reporting period, LSC issued a revised final rule on recipient fund balances, 44 CFR Part 1628. Under the final rule, published on November 7, 2000, recipients will be permitted to carry over fund balances of 10% or less; will be able to seek LSC approval for carryover balances of between 10% and 25%; and will be generally prohibited from retaining fund balances of over 25%, except in three very limited and especially compelling circumstances. The exceptions would be where the fund balance overage results from the receipt of insurance proceeds; real estate sale proceeds; or proceeds received as a result of a lawsuit in which the recipient was a party. The new rule became effective on December 7, 2000. In addition, LSC has begun conducting a thorough review of LSC's regulations. This project is consistent with the five-year strategic plan, "LSC Strategic Directions 2000 -2005" which, among other things, requires reviewing LSC's regulatory compliance requirements for efficiency, unnecessary duplication and burden, and implications for the delivery of high quality, appropriate legal services. As part of this project, LSC solicited public comment via notices published in the Federal Register and on the LSC Website in November 2000. The review effort is still underway and a final report is expected to be presented to the LSC Board for consideration in June 2001. TABLE 1 Management Report on Office of Inspector General Audits of Grantees Issued With Questioned Costs For the Six Month Period Ending March 31, 2001 TABLE 2 Management Report on Audit Reports Issued During The Six Month Period Ending March 31, 2001, With Recommendations That Funds Be Put to Better Use By Management Agreed to in a Management Decision The Commercial Appeal Memphis Grants Help Optimize Nonprofits' Ability to Aid Community Programs Deborah M Clubb Saturday, October 26, 2002 Memphis Area Legal Services and six other nonprofit groups will share more than $124,000 to help them operate, analyze and plan for growth and survival, thanks to a new focus by the Community Foundation of Greater Memphis. The seven grants flow from a new Nonprofit Capacity Building program at the foundation, part of a trend among philanthropists to give money to help organizations grow stronger, rather than to the program services they provide. The Community Foundation program is primarily for well- established nonprofits that may need assistance to take the organization to another level of performance, said foundation executive director Gid Smith. The MALS grant of $25,000 annually for three years is called a "bridge" grant to help the nonprofit law firm survive a short-term challenge. MALS earlier this month announced it expects to lose $200,000 in 2003 and beyond, largely due to a drop in the number of poor people it serves in four counties, according to the latest Census. The nonprofit law firm has about 40 employees and an annual budget of $3 million. Last year it received more than 6,000 applications for help and was able to serve 3,421. MALS has appealed to the legal community for funds and greater commitment to pro bono services - donating their expertise to the needy. The Community Foundation is awarding $25,000 this year but requiring MALS to submit a three-year fund-raising plan. In the second and third year of the grant, CFGM funds will be awarded as a match, with MALS raising at least $3 for every $1 the foundation provides. In effect, the grant challenges MALS to raise at least $100,000 a year in 2003 and 2004. Last year, that campaign - primarily among private attorneys - drew less than $40,000 while the Nashville legal aid fund-raising garnered more than $500,000. Harrison D. McIver III, MALS executive director, said the agency was "very gratified" by the Community Foundation's grant. "We have been working very hard to call the legal community's and the public's attention to our funding crisis and its impact on MALS's efforts to secure equal access to justice for our community's poor and elderly residents." OK. Um. This is a story that my dad told me when I was small, a long time ago that, there was a girl that, she was very young, she was going to go visit her parents. And she was like driving on a curve. And she was, she was going very, too fast, and she crashed and then she, um, she goes there, um, every year she comes out at night and then one time a guy passed through that curve and saw her and he stopped there and picked her up and she told him that if she can, if he can take her home to her parents house. And he goes, "Yeah, sure, I'll take you." And then he took her, and she told him that was her house right there, so he left her there. And two days later, he came and visit her and then he knocked on the door and asked for her, and his, her, his mom, her mom told her, told him that she, she wasn't here, because she was dead for a long time and he goes, "How can it be?" But, that he brought her two days later and that's what happened. And every year she comes out at night and asks people for rides home because she never get, she never got a chance to go visit her, her parents. Before she died. Oh. Before she died and she crashed on that curve. Oh, can you think of any other stories? Not really, that's all. Not really? Any stories from your grandpa, aunt, uncle? Na, that's the only one they told me. Is there a favorite story or storybook or anything that you had when you were little that somebody read to you? No, they didn't, no, just that one. OK. Enough? Where to Go To the surprise of many first-time visitors, Cuba is no speck in the Caribbean. Nicols Guilln, the nations finest poet, described the island as a long green alligator. Long it certainly is, at 1,250 km (776 miles) from snout to tail. Nearly the size of England, Cuba is divided into 14 provinces and incorporates some 1,500 offshore islands, known as cayos (cays or keys). Given its size, you would need at least a month to explore Cuba fully. Most people begin their journeys in the capital, Havana, before heading to the prized tobacco lands farther west and doubling back across the plains of sugar cane and some of the countrys finest colonial towns in central Cuba. The eastern region, known as Oriente, has soaring mountains and Cubas second and most musical city, Santiago de Cuba. Resort hotels hug quintessential Caribbean beaches around the whole island, and though many package tourists still stick close to the coasts, every region has charming, engaging towns. Sand and sun Cuba certainly has, but most visitors who dare to step away from the beach will find it simply too beguiling to spend a whole holiday lying idly in front of their hotels. Havana (La Habana) The islands capital, with almost 3 million inhabitants, is one of the most intoxicating cities in the world. Ever since its early maritime days and through the 1950swhen gangsters who ran prostitution and gambling rackets made Havana synonymous with decadenceit has always held a slightly seedy, languorous allure. That nostalgic appeal is still evident. Today Havana is a one-of-a-kind, fascinating study in decay. Unrestrained ocean waves and salty sea spray have wrecked huge chunks of the Malecn, the sumptuous promenade and roadway that traces the edge of the sea. Throughout the city, crumbling houses three and four stories tall, somehow still standing, line backstreets where children play stickball and their parents and grandparents hover around doorstoops. In Old Havana, magnificently restored colonial palaces and stately baroque churches and convents crowd pulsating squares. Once the finest colonial city in the Americas, Havanas grandeur has not been destroyed even by decades of crisis and neglect. No less defiant than Castro himself, beneath the rubble this city is a living, breathing, vital, and sensual creature. Havana sprawls over more than 700 square km (270 square miles) and is divided into five districts. Those of greatest interest are Habana Vieja (Old Havana), Centro Habana (Central Havana), Vedado, andto a lesser extentMiramar. The latter two districts are newer residential and shopping barrios that extend west and south of the old city. While most areas within a neighborhood can be covered comfortably on foot, passing from one to the other usually requires a taxi or bicitaxi; the latter is Cubas bicycle taxi, a type of pedicab. Old Havana (La Habana Vieja) The oldest section of Havana is the citys most spectacular, even if restoration work and gleaming coats of pastel colonial colors (plus a stern police presence on every corner) are leaving parts of it with a slightly more sanitized feel than the weathered working class neighborhoods that extend along the water and inland. As the location of the citys greatest historical sites, Old Havana is where youll want to spend most of your time if it is limited. Havana was founded along a vast natural harbor in 1519. During the 16th century a fleet of galleons laden with treasures used the port as a pit stop on the way back to Spain from the New World. By the 17th century pirate attacks prompted the building of extensive city defensescolossal forts, a chain across the harbor mouth, and prominent city wallsmaking Havana the Bulwark of the West Indies. The wealthiest residents lived with their slaves in grand mansions constructed in mudjar style, a Christian-Muslim architectural tradition dating from medieval Spain. Hidden courtyards bathed in penumbral light lurked behind massive doors, slatted blinds, carved iron window bars (rejas), and half-moon stained-glass windows (mediopuntos). The presence of such architectural wonders, no matter how dilapidated, led UNESCO to declare Old Havana a World Heritage Site in 1982. In the central tourist quarter, an expanding number of buildings are being spruced up with the assistance of UNESCO and foreign foundations, but many others are propped up by wooden columns, lean-tos that appear to be merely forestalling the inevitable. Their arcades, fluted pillars, and mosaic tiles are teetering on last legs, praying for restoration miracles. At night the deep darkness of the streets is punctuated only by the neon glow of TV sets from tiny front rooms and the occasional headlights of a small colony of gas-guzzling vintage Chevrolets and Plymouths. Havanas distant era lives on. Legendary places plucked from the pages of popular novels and the lives of fiction writers need little input from visitors to evoke their storied past: Graham Greenes Hotel Sevilla, where Our Man in Havana went to meet his secret service contact, and Hemingways favorite watering holes (El Floridita and La Bodeguita del Medio) and the Hotel Ambos Mundos, where he penned much of For Whom the Bell Tolls. Old Havana is best experienced on foot, although you can also pick up a bicitaxi (pedicab) to get to the Malecn or the museums at the districts edge. Plaza de la Catedral Havanas delicious Cathedral Square, the focus of Habana Vieja life, could be a stage set. Most days a colorful crafts market spreads across the cobbled square, and tourists linger at El Patios outdoor caf, sipping mojitos and tapping their toes to a sampling of Cuban son. The all-hours hubbub here is infectious. The glorious baroque faade and asymmetrical belltowers of the late 18th-century cathedral are only marginally the squares top attraction. Yet the church, begun by Jesuits in 1748, is a thing of beauty; one half expects its bells to erupt in triumphant song. Its clean interior is surprisingly plain, but it once held the remains of Christopher Columbus. Just south of the cathedral are superb colonial mansions with bright shutters and mediopuntos, and an attractive little cul-de-sac (Callejn de Chorro) with a graphic arts workshop. Of particular interest in the Cathedral Square is the Museo de Arte Colonial, housed in a handsome palace dating to 1720. Its yellow courtyard and little-altered architectural features are complemented by a large collection of 17th- and 18th-century furniture. Just round the corner, on Calle Empedrado (at no. 207), youll find the atmospheric bar-restaurant La Bodeguita del Medio (see page 41), which according to Hemingway served Havanas finest mojito (management apparently believes the notoriety is worth an extra two dollars per drink). Like pilgrims to Ernests drinking shrine, all tourists seem required to pay their respects here. Art exhibitions are held down the street at the Centro Cultural Wilfredo Lam (at the corner of San Ignacio), named for Cubas top modern artist. Books, manuscripts, and photographs of the countrys best-known novelist are housed inside the Centro de Promocin Cultural Alejo Carpentier (Empedrado, 215). Plaza de Armas Plaza de Armas, which surrounds a statue of the patriot Cspedes and is ringed by shaded marble benches and second-hand booksellers, is Havanas oldest square. It dates to the citys founding in 1519. On the squares eastern side a small neoclassical temple, El Templete, marks the spot where the first Catholic mass was celebrated in 1519. Next door is one of the citys most luxurious hotels, Hotel Santa Isabel. The squat but angular and moated Castillo de la Real Fuerza (Fort of the Royal Forces), to the north, is one of the oldest forts in the Americas, begun in 1558. The battlements afford good views over the harbor, and there are craft shops upstairs. The bronze La Giraldilla weather vane on one of the forts towersdepicting a woman scanning the seas for her lost husband, an early Cuban governorhas been adopted as the symbol of the city and of Havana Club rum. In 1791 the seat of government and the governors (or captain generals) residence were transferred from the fort to the newly built, baroque Palacio de los Capitanes Generales (Palace of the Captain Generals) on the squares western flank. A magnificent structure that was the presidential palace and then the municipal palace until Castro seized power, it now houses the Museo de la Ciudad de la Habana (the Museum of the City of Havana). Beyond the serene courtyard and its statue of Columbus lie a succession of splendid marbled and chandeliered rooms, some housing old cannonballs and coaches, others decked out in gilded furnishings. The most hallowed room commemorates Cubas 19th-century independence wars, with the very first Cuban flag and venerated personal objects from generals of the day. Calle Obispo Running all the way from Plaza de Armas to Parque Central, the pedestrian-only Calle Obispo is Old Havanas most important thoroughfare. Here you can peer into apothecaries unchanged since the 19th century as well as some of Havanas oldest homes. Equally fascinating are the two parallel, partly residential streetsOReilly and Obrapawhere grand neoclassical and colonial buildings intermingle with decrepit tenements. Much of restored Old Havana is concentrated in only a few blocks at the eastern end of these streets. On the corner of Mercaderes and Obispo is the recently renovated, 1920s-era Hotel Ambos Mundos; Hemingway lived on and off in room 511 for a couple of years during the 1930s. The room contains original artifacts from Hemingways many years in Cuba, including the typewriter he used to write most of For Whom the Bell Tolls (those not staying in the hotel can visit the room for US$2). Nearby are several museums worth visiting as much for the glorious colonial mansions that house them as for their contents. On Calle Obrapa, between Mercaderes and San Ignacio, is the striking lemon-yellow Casa de la Obra Pa. This 17th-century architectural wonder features baroque additions around a flower-drenched courtyard and a full set of beautifully furnished domestic rooms. The owner, a member of one of Cubas most important families, rescued orphan girls and took them into his homehis obra pa (work of piety) that lends its name to both the house and its street. The massive mansion opposite, nearly as impressive, houses the Casa de frica, with pelts, drums, costumes, carved figures, and furniture from some 26 African countries, as well as a tantalizing collection of objects related to santera, the syncretic Afro-Cuban religion (see page 26; Casa de frica will likely be closed for renovations until the end of 2000). The Museo Numismtico (Calle Oficios, 8) has a comprehensive set of Cuban coins and banknotes. A little farther on lies the Casa de los rabes (Calle Oficios, 12), a Moorish-style 17th-century building that now comprises a bazaar piled high with carpets, robes, and pottery; Havanas only place of worship for Muslims; and a lovely restaurant tucked away in the courtyard. The streets of Havana are a living museum of chrome-finned wondercars imported during Detroits heyday, but several that once belonged to pivotal Cuban figuresamong them a 1918 Ford truck used by Fidels father and Ches 1960 Chevrolet Bel Airare lined up in the Museo de Autos Antiguos (Calle Oficios, 13). Continuing west along Calle Oficios, youll come to a splendidly restored square, Plaza de San Francisco, with upscale shops, restaurants, and the imposing 18th-century Iglesia y Convento de San Francisco de Ass. The convent contains a museum with Spanish treasures, and you can climb the belltower for spectacular views of Old Havana. Concerts are frequently held here. Nearby, youll find several impeccable colonial-era houses with brilliantly colored faades. Plaza Vieja Follow charming Calle Mercaderes to the fascinating and aptly named Plaza Vieja (Old Square), which began life in 1584 housing wealthy merchants. It is slowly receiving a massive facelift, with assistance from UNESCO, but most of its mansions remain in terrible disrepair. Laundry adorns disintegrating balconies, while in the center of the plaza an incongruous, neoclassical gleaming marble fountain has been installed (its an unmitigated disaster in this atmospheric corner of Old Havana). On the southwest corner of the square, a fine 18th-century palace has been converted into an arts center. Just east is the Art Nouveaustyle, fabulously decayed Hotel Palacio Vienna, a ghost building if ever there was one. The old backstreets here are full of character but seldom visited by tourists. Down Calle Cuba, between Sol and Luz, stands the 17th century Convento de Santa Clara, an expansive complex that takes up several blocks. Inside is a tranquil courtyard garden full of exotic trees. A convent until 1919, it is now an architectural conservation center. It is also a hostel, Residencia Acadmica Santa Clara, which provides peaceful, simple rooms (see page 128); a lot of visitors have long-term stays on their minds. By the train station, between Calles Picota and Egido, is the modest Casa Natal de Jos Mart (at Calle Leonor Prez, 314), the birthplace of poet and statesman Jos Mart. The numerous personal effects on display leave no doubt about Marts importance in the pantheon of Cuban heroes: he is Cubas founding father. The train station itself is fascinating, with hundreds of people waiting in line and a parking lot full of bicycle-driven pedicabs and vintage taxis. The Prado West of the oldest sections and intimate streets of Old Havana is an area of wide boulevards and grand palaces. The loveliest avenue, the Prado (formally known as Paseo de Mart), runs from Parque Central to the sea. Grand but run-down buildings, with fading flamingo-pink and lime-green faades and ornate columns, flank a raised promenade of laurels, gas lamps, and marble benches. In the 19th century this was the citys most fashionable strolling ground. Now it serves as a minipark for habaneros (as Havanas citizens are called), from coupling lovers and children playing on homemade skateboards to parading prostitutes. The streets Brasil and Obrapa lead directly west to the monumental Capitolio, a replica of the American capitol in Washington, D.C. Completed in 1929, it reflects the period when Cuba was in the thrall of the United States. Its vast bronze doors pictorially chart the islands history, and the immense main gallery inside has a diamond in the floor beneath the dome, symbolizing that now-distant era when Cuba was rich. Directly behind the Capitolio is the large Partags Tobacco Factory, the biggest export factory in the countrywith more than 200 rollers churning out 5 million cigars a yearand one of Havanas top tourist draws. This factory, which has been rolling out puros since the mid-19th century, is the best (and, with an admission fee of US$10, the most expensive) to visit on the island; it also has an excellent tobacco shop and smoking lounge for aficionados and wannabes. There are two tours daily (see page 81). If the cigars inside strike you as too expensive, youll have plenty of opportunity to purchase fake or stolen stogies outside the factory, as every third person whispers You want cigar? as you pass. Just east of the Capitolio, on Parque Central near the classic Hotel Inglaterra, stands the magnificent Gran Teatro, built in 1837. The home of the Cuban National Ballet and Opera drips with ornate balustrades, shutters, and sculpted columns. The cavernous interior is hardly less awesome but can only be visited during performances. Those with the Hemingway bug shouldnt miss a visit to El Floridita (see page 41), at the intersection of Calles Obispo and Montserrate, one block east of Parque Central. The writer immortalized the swanky bar in Islands in the Stream. Hemingway photos adorn the walls, his seat is on the extreme left of the elegant mahogany bar, and his favorite daiquiri is now referred to as the Papa Hemingway, with double rum and no sugar (everyone knows he was an alcoholic; the barmen claim he was also diabetic). If you dont mind sipping a $6 daiquiri (the monthly wage of the doorman), the place is eminently capable of evoking the kind of hedonistic refuge expat writers adore. Housed in the grand presidential palace used by presidents (and dictators) between 1920 and 1959, the fascinating and didactic Museo de la Revolucin is the countrys largest and most interesting museum. Youll find an exhaustive exhibit of the trajectory of the 1959 Cuban Revolution, so allow a couple of hours to view it. The most absorbing sections chart the struggle to power with a variety of illustrations: countless maps, evocative photos of both torture victims and triumphal scenes, and assorted personal memorabilia from passports to bloodstained clothes. In the square outside is the ordinary-looking Granma, the boat that carried Castros 81 rebels to shore in 1956; it is now enclosed in glass and guarded by military police. On the seafront (at Crcel, 1) the Museo Nacional de la Msica (National Music Museum) is of interest mainly for its extensive, informative collection of African drums and the many stringed instruments used in Cuban traditional music. Havanas Forts Cubas most impressive forts sit brooding over the capitals commercial harbor. Take a taxi through the road tunnel underneath the water to reach them. The older one, constructed at the end of the 16th century, is the Castillo de los Tres Santos Reyes Magos del Morro, better known as El Morro. From its position at the harbor mouth, the views of Havana over the defiant cannons are magical. The vast Fortaleza de San Carlos de la Cabaa (known as La Cabaa), running beside the harbor, was constructed after the English capture of Havana in 1763. The largest fort ever built in the Americas, it is impressively well preserved, and the gardens and ramparts are romantically lit in the evening. A ceremony at 9pm re-enacts the firing of a cannon that marked the closing of the city gates. New Havana The walls surrounding Old Havana were razed during the 19th century to allow the city to expand westward. The long, curvaceous, and crumbling Malecn (breakwater), a six-lane highway alongside the citys north shore, links the districts of Central Havana and Vedado. The victim of harmful salt spray, the seafront drive is now more a seafront dive. At its eastern end, primary-colored buildingsa showcase of tragic splendorseem to fall apart before your eyes. Havanas youth congregate along the Malecn on fine evenings, flying kites, necking, swimming off the rocks, and setting out to sea in giant inner tubes to fish. Although most visitors will want to concentrate on historic and museum-like Old Havana, the newer districts provide a fascinating view of the areas where most people live and work. The most interesting districts of New Havana are Central Havana and Vedado. The former is a congested, lower-middle-class barrio with few attractions for visitors, although a walk along its dusty streets and crumbling faades can be an eye-opening experience. Vedado is the citys principal commercial and residential zonethe epicenter of middle-class Havanawith parks, monuments, hotels, restaurants, theaters, and the University of Havana. Once the stomping grounds of the elite in the 1950s, the suburb of Miramar today is home to the offices of rich foreign companies investing in Cuba and the diplomatic missions of foreign governments. Central Havana (Centro Habana) Central Havana is a ramshackle residential and commercial area. The citys main shopping street, Calle San Rafael, traverses it from the Parque Central westward. This might be Havana at its least guarded. While having a fascinating stroll here, you can stop to have your nails painted, or get a shave and a haircut, all right on the pavement. One of the countrys new private markets has overrun Havanas small Chinatown, at Calles Zanja and Rayo. Amazingly, even downtrodden Central Havana is being transformed by the presence of glittering dollar stores. The neighborhood known as Cayo Hueso, just behind the Malecn, is a rough-and-tumble barrio once populated by cigar-factory workers. Today the main reason to visit is to check out Calle Hamel, where the artist Salvador Gonzlez has dedicated himself to preserving the areas Afro-Cuban culture. The small alleyway, the scene of a good many photo shoots, is entirely done over in street art and graffiti. Gonzlez has his studio here, and on Sundays at around 1pm there are performances of Afro-Cuban ritual and rumba. Vedado Vedado had its heyday in the 1940s and 1950s, when such gangsters as Meyer Lansky held sway in the Nacional, Riviera, and Capri hotels. Such stars as Frank Sinatra and Ginger Rogers performed, and American tourists emptied their wallets in glittering casinos. The revolution put the lid on the nightlife by banning gambling and deporting the Mafiosi. Save for the stately, elegant Hotel Nacional (see page 129), overlooking the Malecn, the hotels here have now seen better days. Vedado is Havanas most respectable business district as well as a leafy residential area, spacious and orderly in comparison with Old and Central Havana. Business is centered on La Rampa, the name for Calle 23 from Calle L to the sea. Opposite the tower-block Hotel Habana Librethe Havana Hilton in pre-revolutionary daysis the Coppelia ice cream park. At this institution, locals queue for hours for the prized ice cream, eating several scoops in one sitting or ladling them into saucepans to take home. Hard-hearted foreigners paying in dollars down their scoops in a cordoned-off area. Coppelia was instrumental in the award-winning Cuban film Fresa y Chocolate (Strawberry and Chocolate), a daring film about freedoms and revolutionary fervor in contemporary Havana (its title is a wry reference to the lack of choices of ice cream flavorsindeed, of all thingsin Cuba). A short walk up the hill brings you to the University of Havana, founded in the early 18th century, a quiet, attractive campus of neoclassical buildings. English-speaking students eager to meet foreigners are numerous here. Directly east on Calle San Miguel, between Calles Ronda and Mazn, is the fine and surprising Museo Napolenico. The mansion boasts not only Empire furniture but also a remarkable collection of Napoleonic memorabilia: busts, portraits, and even his pistol, hat, and death mask from St. Helena. The house and contents were acquired by the state from a rich owner in 1960. In the same year, the government acquired the Museo de Artes Decorativas, at Calle 17 between Calles D and E. Each room in this grand 19th-century villa is furnished in a particular style: English Chippendale, Chinese, baroque, or Art Deco in the fabulous bathroom. Vedados top sight, though, is the Cementerio de Cristbal Coln (Columbus Cemetery). Massive marble mausoleums line the principal avenues of the cemetery, a vast city of the dead established in the late 1800s. Cubans come to pray and place flowers at the tomb of La Milagrosa (The Miracle Worker), who helps people in need. It is said that she was buried with her infant at her feet, but when their bodies were exhumed, the child was found cradled in her arms. Plaza de la Revolucin The barren district known as Plaza de la Revolucin is worth visiting only for a brief glimpse of the square of the same name, a vast concourse where political rallies are held. Hideous high-rise ministry buildings erected in the 1950s by Batista and a giant, tapering concrete obelisklooking like a rocket launch pad with a pensive Jos Mart at its footprovide the scenery. The Ministry of the Interior building, adorned by a giant iron sculpture-mural of Che, is where Fidel Castro supposedly punches the clock. Miramar More attractive is the exclusive suburb of Miramar, to the west. The villas of the pre-revolutionary rich, expropriated by the state, have now been divided into apartments or turned into offices. But embassies along Avenida 5 still imbue the area with a leisurely, privileged feel. At the corner of Calle 14, the Museo del Ministerio del Interior has some intriguing exhibits relating to CIA espionage, including code boxes concealed in briefcases, decoding equipment, and a transmitter hidden in a fake rock. Dont miss the towering Russian Embassy, between Calles 62 and 66, looking for all the world like a giant concrete robot. Growing as an attractionliterallyis the Maqueta de Habana (Calle 28, 113 e/Avenida 1 y 3), a scale model of the entire city in astounding 1:1,000 detail. Havana is so expansive that a visit to the Maqueta can help organize the citys neighborhoods in your mind. Havanas Outskirts Havanas suburbs are sprawling and grimy, but they contain a couple of places associated with Ernest Hemingway that are magnets for those seeking to trace the Nobel Prize winners life in Cuba. From 1939 to 1960 he lived on and off in the Finca Viga, now the Casa Museo de Ernest Hemingway. The sight is 11 km (7 miles) southeast of Havana in San Francisco de Paula, so you will have to take a taxi. Visitors may not enter the graceful bungalow villa, but by peering through windows and doors you can see all the rooms furnished as the writer had them, covered in bullfighting posters and filled with more than 9,000 books, including such titles as The Guide to Hunting and Fishing in Cuba. You can roam the lush gardens searching out his motorboat, the Pilar. Hemingway kept the Pilar 10 km (6 miles) to the east of Havana at Cojmar, the probable model for the settlement in The Old Man and the Sea. Next to a diminutive fort in the little towns old corner is a Hemingway bust, looking out over the bay. The writer frequented La Terraza restaurant nearby (see page 138), worth visiting for its many photographs of Hemingway in action. Still kicking after all these years is 98-year-old Gregorio Fuentes, Hemingways fishing companion and the inspiration for Santiagothe Old Man. Hes likely to be hanging out at La Terraza and, for a few bucks or a few drinks, will tell tales of his times with Papa. Farther east, approximately 18 km (11 miles) from Havana, the Playas del Este (Eastern Beaches) are less charming but a big draw for Cubans unable to afford much in the way of beach vacations. These beaches are acceptable for a short break from city life, but you are unlikely to want to spend your holiday here. The long, sandy beaches are excellent but often buffeted by winds. Pinar del Ro Province Due west of Havana is Pinar del Ro province, Cubas westernmost regiona finger of land with the Gulf of Mexico to the north and the Caribbean to the south. It contains some of Cubas most beautiful countryside among the lush Guaniguanico mountains and surrounding patchwork of lushly verdant fields (vegas), where the worlds finest tobacco is cultivated. In the beautiful Viales valley, tobacco fields and ancient limestone formations produce spectacular scenery more reminiscent of Southeast Asia than the Caribbean. In this resolutely agricultural region, oxen tilling red-earth fields and cowboy peasants (guajiros) on horseback are much more common than cars. Residents of Havana might think of it as a poor backwater, but the easy, almost somnolent pace, breathtaking countryside, and welcoming residents of Pinar del Ro make it one of Cubas certain highlights. There are beaches and excellent diving farther west, near Playa Mara la Gorda, but for most visitors the star attractions are the irresistible town of Viales and its beautiful valley. Many visitors take organized daytrips of the region from Havana hotels, but an overnight stay in Vialesoverlooking the valleyis highly recommended. Start your explorations by driving west on the autopista (highway) linking Havana with the provinces capital city of Pinar del Ro. About 63 km (39 miles) along the highway, a turnoff leaves the level, palm-dotted plains for Soroa, where a richly endowed botanical garden nestles in the mountain foothills near a tired little tourist complex. A guided tour reveals an orchid garden, lychee and mango trees, coffee plants, and splendid specimens of jagey and ceiba trees. A restaurant in the villa of Castillo de las Nubes on a nearby mountain has stunning views. At the end of the highway, 175 km (109 miles) west of Havana, the small city of Pinar del Ro is a bustling commercial center. Along the main street, Calle Jos Mart, low-rise neoclassical buildings in blues, yellows, greens, and orange have a stately but dilapidated quality. In backstreet houses men make homemade cigars; youll find a small, interesting tobacco factory, Francisco Donatien Fbrica de Tobacos, housed in an old jail below the Plaza de la Independencia. Visitors are welcome here and at the less picturesque Casa Garay Rum Factory, on Avenida Isabel Rubio, where they make a local rum liqueur called guayabita del Pinar. The road southwest from the city to San Juan y Martnez leads deep into tobaccos heartlandthe Vuelta Abajowhere the worlds greatest tobacco is grown. Amid fields of big green leaves ripening in the sun and plantations covered in canvas sheets stand wooden tobacco barns. Here, leaves are hung on poles with a needle and thread and then dried, turning from green to brown. Some 27 km (17 miles) to the north of Pinar del Ro lies the most picturesque corner of Cuba. The deeply green Viales valley is spattered with mogotes, sheer-sided limestone masses covered in thick vegetation. Remnants of an underwater plateau that collapsed in the Jurassic period, they are part of a geological formation at least 150 million years old. Tobacco (of slightly lesser quality than in the Vuelta Abajo) grows here in a patchwork of fields and dries in bohos, constructed with shaggy thatch. Cigar-chomping guajiros in enormous straw hats urge on their oxen, while vultures swoop overhead. At any time of day you can wander into the fields and meet the modest farmers, who might smother you with hospitality (cigars, coffee, and so forth) and pose for photos. At Casa del Veguero (Carretera a Viales, km 25) youll find the grizzled farmer El Nio, whom the government has unofficially appointed the face of tobaccoCubas Marlboro man. Next to his farm, on the road into Viales, is a state-owned tobacco and souvenir shop. The best valley views can be had from either of its lovely and economical hotels: Los Jazmines and La Ermita. The sight at dusk is especially alluring. The town of Viales is surprisingly spruce, with a fetching, arcaded main street and lovely rustic scenes down the back lanes. Next to the paladar (a restaurant in a private home) and across from the Cupet gas station is a delightful botanical garden, overseen by two elderly women whose father began planting the hundreds of species of plants. Nearby, a couple of local tourist sights, on all the package excursions, have curiosity value but little else. One limestone mogote just west of town was painted by workmen dangling on ropes in the 1960s with a Mural de la Prehistoria (Mural of Prehistory)commissioned by Castro himselfthat is 120 meters (370 feet) high and 180 meters (550 feet) long. The garish painting, an exercise in bad judgment and sloppy execution, depicts evolution from an ammonite to a dinosaur to advanced (and presumably socialist) Homo sapiens. Just to the north of town, the extensive Cueva del Indio (Indian Cave) was used as a hideout by Indians after the conquest. A tour through the cave includes a brief ride on an underground river in a boat (which would-be emigrants once stole for an unsuccessful escape attempt to Florida). Both mural and cave have decent tourist restaurants. About 4 km (2.5 miles) north of Viales, the Cueva del Viales is a curious bar and disco carved out of a cave; amazingly, its open 24 hours. Cayo Largo and the Isle of Youth The two main islands in the Archipilago de los Canarreos, south of western Cuba, could not be more different. Cayo Largo is a tourist enclave where visitors are never more than a few yards from sugar-white sands. Yet its an antiseptic place, devoid of any Cubans except those who work there. By contrast, the Isle of Youth sees virtually no tourists except those at the rather isolated Hotel El Colony (on the small islands southwestern tip), who come exclusively for the superb diving at a nearby beach. Cayo Largo, an island 25 km (15.5 miles) long and the most easterly of the Archipilago de los Canarreos, might be your Caribbean paradiseif all youre looking for is a dazzling white beach and clear blue seas. Other than the miles of beaches, theres not much else of consequence here except mangrove, scrub, and half a dozen comfortable hotels with a full program of entertainment and watersports. Turtles nest in the sand at one end of the island. At the other you can go sailing, diving, or deep-sea fishing or take a boat trip to Playa Sirena, an incomparable strip of sand a 10-minute boat ride away, where lobster lunches are available. Cayo Largo, with its captive tourist audience, is considerably more expensive than the mainland. Some package tourists spend the whole of their holiday on Cayo Largo. Those with low boredom thresholds might consider coming for only a daytrip or for overnight trips on half-hour flights from Havana and Varadero. The Isla de la Juventud (Isle of Youth) is Cubas largest offshore island, some 50 km (31 miles) in diameter, but not its prettiest. It is said to have been the location for Robert Louis Stevensons Treasure Island; pirates once buried their booty here. The island received its jaunty name in the 1970s, when as many as 22,000 foreign students (mainly from politically sympathetic African countries) studied here in no fewer than 60 schools. The island fails to live up to its colorful past. The number of foreign students has dropped to fewer than 5,000, and derelict boarding schools dot the monotonous countryside. However, there are plenty of virgin beaches to be discovered, and in a slightly dingy cave at Punta del Este you can examine enigmatic symbols painted centuries ago by Siboney Indians. For more accessible entertainment, Nueva Gerona, the islands little capital, is moderately attractive, with striped awnings along its smart, pillared main street. Just east of town, the Presidio Modelo (Model Prison) is fascinating. The dictator Machado built this copy of an American penitentiary in 1931. Castro and 26 of his rebels were sent here after the storming of the Moncada Barracks; their ward and the cell in which Castro was kept in solitary confinement have been reconstructed. Matanzas Province The province east of Havanalargely flat sugar-cane countrywas in the 19th century Cubas most important cane-producing region. For todays visitors, however, the focus is on the big-time beach resort of Varadero, Cubas biggest draw, with opportunities for side trips to atmospheric, time-warped towns and to the swamplands of the south coast. Varadero Varadero has enthusiastic proponents and equally passionate detractors among its visitors. A long peninsula with many dozens of hotels and restaurants, bars, fast-food cafs, and grocery shops (and more of each on the way), Varadero doesnt feel much like Cuba at all. The easy-spending gringos here stick out like a sore thumb in this land of hardship, and their isolation increases year after year. Varadero is a package destination, and plenty of visitors fly into it and never leave. If you want to see and learn what makes Cuba a fascinating place, though, youll need to escape for at least a couple of daytrips. In towns around Cuba youll meet tourists wholike jailbird escapeesrejoice at having gotten out of Varadero. Still, there are plenty of delighted folks for whom this is heaven: a 20-km (12-mile) long, virtually uninterrupted white-sand beach with shallow, clean waters that are described immodestly by the authorities as the most beautiful in the world. Varadero isnt a recent development by a government desperate for hard currency (though officials are determined to see it become a faceless cash cow not unlike Cancn). It was in the 1920s that Varadero first attracted millionaires, who built palatial holiday villas. Tourism proper began after World War II with the construction of casinos and such establishments as the Hotel Internacional. Even the beach, Varaderos best feature, can be problematic. Northern winds kick up with considerable frequency, and lifeguards put out the red flags to warn of the dangerous undertow. There is often a strong smell from the oil pumps on the resorts outskirts. Prostitution and hassling are constant and blatant, and other pests (namely, mosquitoes) are a real annoyance. Moreover, the resort is spread out over 17 km (11 miles), with no real center, so you need transport to get around. On the other hand, Varadero has many very comfortable hotels (most of them the results of international joint ventures), open bars, and an excellent range of watersports. And, unlike other parts of Cuba, topless sunbathing is allowed here. If you tire of the beach, there are organized excursions to every conceivable point of interest on the islandincluding Havana, an hour and a half away. Varadero occupies a long, thin insular spit of sand, with water on both sides and a bridge to the mainland. Between Calles 25 and 54 theres something of a local community of Cubans, with ancient Cadillacs parked outside rickety wooden bungalows. The liveliest area is around Calles 54 to 64, with a shopping mall, a host of restaurants and bars, and the Retiro Josone, a pretty park set around a palm-fringed boating lake. Spreading several miles farther east are the newest hotel complexes and also the restaurant Las Amricas, an opulent beachside mansion completed by the French millionaire Irene Du Pont in 1930. Matanzas and Crdenas Though just spitting distance away, these quintessentially Cuban towns are a world apart from Varadero. Their poorly stocked shops, dusty backstreets, and primitive transport provide Varaderos package tourists with a convenient insight into everyday Cuban life before theyre whisked back to their hotels. Matanzas, 42 km (26 miles) west of Varadero, is busy and grimy. Lying alongside a deep bay, it came into its own during the 19th century as the countrys sugar capital. On the leafy main square, Parque Libertad, the Museo Farmacutico is a wonderfully preserved chemists shop, founded in 1882. On a street running east toward the bay, the Catedral de San Carlos is notable for its many murals, some restored, some badly in need of attention. A little farther to the east, impressive buildings on Plaza de la Viga include the Palacio de Junco, which houses a second-rate provincial museum, and the Teatro Sauto. Constructed in 1863, the lovely theater has tiers of wrought-iron boxes and a mural ceiling; there are performances most weekends. Las Cuevas de Bellamar, a short distance to the south, are Cubas oldest tourist site. The caves were discovered by chance in 1861 by a Chinese slave. Tours (in English) take you down into a vast chamber for views of the many stalactites and stalagmites. Fortunes have changedand not for the betterfor the town of Crdenas, 15 km (9 miles) east of Varadero. Once the islands most important port for sugar exportation, its now a ramshackle place with long shopping lines and dozens of horses and carts streaming up and down its main street. With its statue of Columbus, the main square is elegant, and the Museo Oscar Mara de Rojas (at Avenida 4 and Calle 12) houses a quirky, varied collection of items, from slaves manacles to a 19th-century funeral coach and two fleas all dressed up to dance. Zapata Peninsula The Zapata Peninsula is the largest wetlands area in the Caribbean, flat as a pancake and covered in mangrove swamps and grassland plains. Its protected wildlife includes crocodiles, manatees, and numerous species of birds. Frankly, though, you are unlikely to see any interesting wildlife unless you take a guided bird-watching trip from Playa Larga. You can see penned reptiles at the crocodile farm at La Boca, a popular tourist site where you can pose with a baby croc and taste crocodile steak. A more appealing prospect is picturesque Guam, a half-hour boat ride from La Boca along an artificial channel and then across the vast Laguna del Tesoro (Treasure Lake). Legend has it that the Indians dumped their jewels into the water rather than surrender them to Spanish conquistadores. Guam is a group of tiny islands connected by wooden bridges. A few visitors stay in the thatched cabaas (see page 131), but most just come to wander along the boardwalk, greet the ducks and egrets, and have a meal. The peninsula is best known, however, for its bloody role in clandestine political warfare. South of La Boca you soon come to Playa Girnsite of the 1961 US-led Bay of Pigs invasion (see page 19). At irregular intervals along the often crab-infested road are concrete memorials to those who died during the invasion. There are two simple, isolated bungalow hotel complexes on the bay, one at quiet Playa Larga, the other at Playa Girn, where the already scruffy beach is further spoiled by a concrete breakwater. One major attraction, however, is the excellent Museo Playa Girn, which serves as an emotional memorial to the three-day Bay of Pigs debacle. Central Cuba Tourists, usually eager to get to one end of the country or the other, usually whiz through central Cuba. The only tourist beacons are on or near the coasts: in the south around Cienfuegoss bay and at Trinidad (a gorgeous colonial gem) and in the north at the small resorts of Cayo Coco and Guillermo and Playa Santa Luca. Elsewhere, those who pause to explore can feel like goldfish in a bowlforeigners are still a novelty here. Central Cuba comprises five provinces: from west to east these are Cienfuegos, Villa Clara, Sancti Spiritus, Ciego de Avila, and Camagey. Each focuses on a provincial city of the same or similar name, typically of some interest yet not likely to detain you for longer than a day. The west has the best scenery, found in the lush Sierra del Escambray mountains. To the east of Sancti Spiritus, towns are plunked down on unremittingly flat plains. Here, sugar cane as high as three men grows in abundance, trucks trundle around with monster bundles of the stuff, and chimneys of sugar-cane factories poke skyward like cathedral towers. In Camagey, the cattle-ranch province, rusty watermills punctuate the skyline and vaqueros (cowboys) slouch on horses with machetes and lassos at the ready. Cienfuegos The best feature of the port city of Cienfuegos (250 km/155 miles southeast of Havana) is its position, set at the back of a large bay. Despite the industry on its periphery, the center is quite attractive, with pastel-colored neoclassical buildings. Many travelers now stop off here on their way to Trinidad. The focal point in town is Parque Jos Mart, one of the grandest squares in the country. Here you will find the monumental red-domed government offices, an early 19th-century cathedral with a startling gold-painted interior, and a music hall (casa de la trova; see page 82) with whimsical flourishes. Take a guided tour of the towns finest colonial building, the Teatro Toms Terry, on the north side of the square. Built in 1890, it was named after a rich sugar plantation owner from Venezuela. The interior, largely original, has a lovely frescoed ceiling and a semicircle of tiered boxes and wooden seats. Enrico Caruso and Sara Bernhardt once performed here, and on weekends you may be able to catch a performance by one of Cubas top ballet companies. The Catedral de la Pursima Concepcin, built in 1870, is on the east side of the square. It has an attractive interior with French stained-glass windows depicting the twelve apostles. The Prado is the towns principal thoroughfare, a palm-lined boulevard that takes you down to the spit of land protruding into the bay past smart waterside villas. At the edge of Punta Gorda, near the end of the Malecn (Calle 37), is the Palacio del Valle. This ornate palace, now a restaurant, was finished in 1917; its ceilings and walls are covered in patterned stonework. At the mouth of the bay, on the western side, the Castillo de Jagua was constructed by the Spanish in 1732 (long before the citys founding in 1819) to ward off pirates. You reach the castle on a tiny ferry from the Hotel Pasacaballo on the eastern side of the bay. Close to the hotel is the best beach in the area, Playa Rancho Luna. The Jardn Botnico Soledad, 18 km (11 miles) outside Cienfuegos on the road to Trinidad, is the oldest botanical garden in Cuba (it dates to 1899) and one of the finest tropical gardens in the world. Ask at the tourist office in Cienfuegos about guided tours of the gardens. Trinidad The scenic, undulating 80-km (50-mile) road east from Cienfuegos to Trinidad skirts the foothills of the Sierra del Escambray, Cubas second-highest mountain range. The beguiling town of Trinidad, the third of Diego Velzquezs original seven settlements, subsequently became rich through the smuggling, slave, and sugar trades. Its sizable old town is endowed with marvelous Spanish colonial architecture and has been named by UNESCO as a World Heritage Site. Cuba could package it as a time capsule: it is the islands prettiest town and one of the finest preserved colonial cities in all the Americas. Within easy striking distance of Trinidad are enough attractions to make a longer stay especially rewarding, including the fine beach of Playa Ancn, the lush Valley of the Sugar Mills, and waterfalls and treks in the Escambray mountains. Carefully restored mansions of the well-to-do have been turned into museums, while art galleries, craft shops, and restaurants occupy additional lovely old buildings. No traffic, not even bicycles, can cope well with Trinidads wildly uneven, cobbled street surfaces, so peace reignsespecially before and after the tour-bus hordes arrive. Few telltale signs of the 20th century have, as yet, encroached on this wonderfully somnolent outpost. At night the old town is coffin-quiet. For the tranquillity alone, it is worth staying one night or more in Trinidad. The old town clusters around the Plaza Mayor, an incomparably pretty square of painted railings, fanciful urns, greyhound statues, and bright colonial buildings. To the left of the comparatively plain church, Iglesia de la Santsima Trinidad, the Museo Romntico is closed for restoration (at least through 2001). The squares two other little museums both have attractive courtyards and cool interiors. The Museo de Arqueologa exhibits bones of Indians and slaves along with a few stuffed animals, while the Museo de Arquitectura Colonial has examples of woodwork, ironwork, stained glass, and other items culled from colonial houses in town. A block north of the Plaza Mayor is the Museo Nacional de la Lucha Contra Bandidos (National Museum of the Struggle against the Bandits), housed in a former convent. The bandits in question were counter-revolutionary rebels who hid in the Escambray mountains during the 1960s. The stupendous 360-degree view from the yellow belltower (a landmark) is the big draw. A block south of Plaza Mayor on Calle Simn Bolivar stands the grand Palacio Cantero, built in 1830. Painted pillars, scrolls, shells, pediments, and drapes embellish the interior, eclipsing the historical artifacts and old furniture that now form the Museo Municipal de Historia. It has its own fine tower, though climbing its rickety narrow steps can be a trial if a group has arrived there first. The tiny Piro Guinart cigar factory (on Maceo at the corner of Coln) has only about 30 hand rollers and allows visitors to take a peek inside. A block south of the Plaza Mayor are two streets completely given over to sellers of handmade lace and other crafts. Aimless wandering is especially fruitful in Trinidadand, since dozens of street names have changed and neither maps nor residents seem sure of what to call many of them, roaming without a plan is the only practical solution. Virtually every street is its own colonial treasure and feast for the eyes. Near the bus station, you might stumble across the musical septet Los Pinos jamming in the street, just out of reach of kids playing stickball. Farther afield, southeast along Calle J. M. Mrquez, youll find Ermita de Santa Ana, a bricked-up church overlooking the town on a hill where boys fly homemade kites. Around Trinidad Trinidads prosperity in the 19th century came from the fruits of 50 sugar mills nearby in the scenic Valle de los Ingenios (Valley of the Sugar Mills), like Trinidad a UNESCO World Heritage Site. A mirador (lookout) with spectacular views is just 5 km (3 miles) out of town. Just 10 km (6 miles) farther east is the Manacas-Iznaga, where you can explore a lovely colonial hacienda house and its startling, rocket-shaped Torre de Manacas-Iznaga. From the top of the tower, the Iznaga family would keep watch over their slaves toiling in the fields. If you dont have a car, you can hire a private taxi for about US$12 roundtrip. A special 18th-century steam train used in the sugar trade traverses the whole valley for tourists; if it is functioning, it is a must. The train leaves from Estacin Dragones, 1 km (58 mile) from the city center, at 10am and returns at noon. Beach worshippers should head to Playa Ancn, about 16 km (10 miles) from Trinidad, an excellent strip of white sand and clear waters. Here youll find diving at an offshore coral reef, a good choice of watersports, and two hotels popular with package tourists. Again, you can hire a taxi or pick up a bicycle rental (give it a test ride first, as many are so primitive that they would be scoffed at by any self-respecting commuter from Hanoi or Beijing). Another good beach and fishing excursion, offered by Rumbos Tours, is the daytrip to the tiny island of Cayo Blanco from Playa Ancn. Sierra del Escambray More compact than the eastern and western ranges on the island, the Sierra del Escambray (Escambray mountains), coated in luxuriant vegetation, are arguably Cubas most beautiful range and easily accessible. Blessed with their own microclimate, the mountains are a blessedly cool refuge from Trinidad. To get to the Topes de Collantes national park, take the road west of Trinidad for the steep 15-km (9-mile) climb through dense forests of palms, eucalyptus, and pines. Youll pass a health resort, a Stalinesque complex that boasts decent facilities but lacks life. Like rewards at the end of excellent day hikes, there are two beautiful waterfalls: Salto de Caburn, at 62 m (203 ft), and Salto Vega Grande. Wear sturdy shoes, as each is a steep trek of 4 km (2.5 miles) along a narrow and often muddy trail. You can swim in the chilly natural pools underneath the falls. For Caburn, park at the graffiti-infested Casa de Gallo and hit the trail nearby. Jeep excursions can be hired (US$25 per person) at the Rumbos tourism office in Trinidad (Calle Simn Bolvar, 430). Theres a US$4 admission fee just beyond the Kurhotel health resort. Sancti Spiritus Few tourists make it to this provincial capital, and it isnt likely to detain you for more than a couple of hours. Approximately 80 km (50 miles) east of Trinidad is Sancti Spiritus, one of Velzquezs seven original townships. However, its only likely to entertain you for an hour or two. From the towns pleasant Plaza Snchez, wander two blocks south to the main sight, Iglesia Parroquial Mayor de Espritu Santo. This venerable, towered church has foundations from 1522, making it the countrys oldest (though the present stone church in fact was built in 1680). Nearby is the Puente Yayabo, an early 19th-century bridge that recalls Romanesque bridges in Europe. From the river take the lovely, twisting street Calle Llano, a cobblestoned affair festooned with graceful colonial houses in soft pastels and iron grilles. The nearby Museo de Arte Colonial (Calle Plcido Sur, 74) is an 18th-century palace with two peaceful courtyards and a succession of grandly furnished rooms suffused with a gentle light entering through stained-glass windows. Cayo Coco and Cayo Guillermo These offshore caysbudding starlets of Cuban joint-tourism initiatives with foreign companiesare reached by a road carving through pineapple orchards and the town of Morn, which is not as idiotically named as you might think. The road becomes a causeway across the Baha de Perros; its so long (28 km/17 miles) that you cant see the land at the far end as you set off. Cayo Coco is named not for coconuts but for a bird: the ibis, as revealed in Hemingways Islands in the Stream. The author patrolled these shores in World War II on the lookout for Nazis. Ibises and other wading birds, often pink flamingoes, can be seen balancing in the brackish waters around the principal causeway and a smaller causeway connecting the cay to Cayo Guillermo. Its the superb, impossibly white sandy beaches, the intensely blue waters, and the excellent fishing that draw travelers, and theres not much else to distract you. Both cays are covered in forest or thick undergrowth, and there are no settlements whatsoever (the only Cubans who visit are workers). Plans are afoot to build hotels all along the 22 km (14 miles) of shell-shaped beaches on Cayo Coco, but accommodations are currently limited. A wide range of non-motorized watersports are available to hotel guests; diving and safaris are popular. Cayo Guillermos single hotel offers a similar gamut of watersports alongside the shallowest of waters. If you hire a moped or Jeep from either hotel, there are virgin beaches to discover. Camagey About 550 km (342 miles) southeast of Havana, Camagey is a bustling but attractive and comfortable colonial city; its population of 300,000 is Cubas third largest. Restrained old faades hide picturesque courtyards, and there are some half-dozen squares, each boasting a crumbling and still functioning old church. The cattle-grazed plains of the province of Camagey hold little water, so long ago the citizens fashioned enormous earthenware pots to catch and store rainwater. Called tinajones, these still adorn many squares and courtyard patios. The citys most famous son, a general from the Ten Years War, was born in 1841 at the Casa Natal de Ignacio Agramonte, a handsome, early 19th-century mansion in the city center on Plaza de los Trabajadores. The patriot is remembered through personal effects; he met his death in battle in 1873. Visit La Merced church opposite to see peeling frescoes and the venerated objects stored in the crypt. A dashing equine statue of Agramonte forms the centerpiece of Parque Agramonte, just to the south. The cathedral occupies one side of the park, and the Casa de la Trova (see page 82), around a floral patio, features musical performances afternoon and evening. A ten-minute walk west down Calle Cristo brings you to a dignified 18th-century church, Santo Cristo del Buen Viaje (Christ of Good Travels), perfectly named for out-of-town visitors. Behind the church is a great sea of crosses and marble saints in a picturesque cemetery; church officials claim it is wholly unrelated to travels that didnt go so well. A few blocks north, the Convento de Nuestra Seora del Carmen (from the early 19th century) was in a disastrous state in early 2000, though workers were busily rebuilding it. Just enough of the structure remains to make plain that it would be stunning if carefully restored. Camageys finest featureand marvelously restoredis Plaza San Juan de Dios, an angular old cobblestoned square surrounded by brightly hued, single-story buildings dating from the 18th century plus a lovely yellow church alongside a restored former hospital. Its one of Cubas most beautiful plazas. A few blocks south, near the river, is an impressive agricultural market open every day and stocked with a surprising surfeit of meat and produce. Playa Santa Luca An hour-and-a-half drive (110 km/68 miles) from Camagey on the north coast, remote Playa Santa Luca beckons sun worshippers with resort hotels strung along a particularly fine peninsular strip of sand. Each hotel backs directly onto the beach. A superb coral reef lies offshore, and diving here is excellent. Aside from a couple of roadside bars, however, nightlife is limited to hotel entertainment. The only other drawback is the mosquitoes, as voracious as anywhere on the island. To counter the isolation of Playa Santa Luca, the tourist authorities offer a wide range of excursions, including a rodeo at Rancho King, deep-sea fishing, and boat and helicopter trips for days on the beach at such unspoiled cays as Cayo Sabinal and Cayo Saeta. A bus service visits Playa Los Cocos, some 5 km (3 miles) away; with sheltered aquamarine waters, its a strong contender for the title of Cubas most beautiful beach. Adjacent is La Boca, a very small community of waterside shacks with fish restaurants. Oriente: The East Prior to the revolution, the east of Cuba was a single province known simply as Oriente (East), and most Cubans still refer to the region with this name. Oriente incorporates the post-revolutionary provinces of Holgun, Granma, Santiago de Cuba, and Guantnamo, which are scenically and historically more interesting than most of central Cuba. The stunning landscapes vary from the north coasts exuberant banana and coconut groves clustered round thatched huts, little changed from Indian bohos, to the towering peaks of the Sierra Maestra mountains and lush rainforest on the east coast. Some of Cubas best beaches lie on the north coast of Oriente within sight of the mountains. The wars of independence began in Oriente in the 1860s, and nearly a century later Castro concentrated his power base in the inaccessible Sierra Maestra. There are stirring monuments and museums recalling these periods in Santiago de Cuba, the latter dubbed Hero City for its many historic patriots. The farther east you travel in Cuba the more Caribbean it feels. Santiago de Cuba is renowned for its contributions to Cuban musical culture; many of the greats of traditional sounds (Tro Matamoros, La Vieja Trova Santiaguera, and Eliades Ochoa, among others) all got their starts here. It continues to be the one place in Cuba where infectious music is inescapable. Holgun Province Holgun province begins bleakly around the busy capital but improves considerably as you travel north, where the countryside is lusher. Guardalavaca, 60 km (37 miles) from Holgun, is perhaps Cubas prettiest resort, ringed by banana plantations and facing a gorgeous beach backed by a forest of sea-grape trees. Watersports are excellent here and at the equally picturesquebut isolatedbeach of Estero Ciego, 2 km (1.2 miles) west. The resorts reputation is growing fast, and the Cuban government envisions it one day competing with Varadero. It is still in the early stages of development and, thankfully, extremely relaxed. There are plenty of possibilities for excursions in the vicinity of Guardalavaca. To the west is Baha de Bariay, which has a monument claiming Columbuss landing (a fact contested chiefly by Baracoa, farther east). Beyond the bay is Gibara (27 km/17 miles north of Holgun), a captivating if sleepy little port town. You can take a boat trip into the middle of Baha de Naranjo to a simple aquarium, where you can swim with the dolphins. About 6 km (4 miles) south of Guardalavaca, on a hill amid a forest of lofty palms and thatched homesteads, is Chorro de Mata, the Caribbeans most important excavated Indian burial ground. Of the 61 skeletons on display, dating from 1490 to 1540 (more than 200 were disinterred), those in pre-conquest graves lie in a fetal position, while post-con-quest skeletons lie in a Christian pose: outstretched with arms folded. Thick banana groves coat the hillsides along the scenic 30-km (19-mile) route south to Banes, a tumbledown town of clapboard houses with corrugated roofs. Fidel Castro was married at the church here in 1948, and the towns Museo Indo-Cubano has fascinating finds from Chorro de Mata. Santiago de Cuba Many visitors prefer Cubas second city (population 420,000) to the capital. Santiago de Cuba (880 km/546 miles southeast of Havana) is unpolished, has few grand palaces, and cannot compare with the colonial treasures found in Havana and Trinidad. But it is unfailingly vibrant and seductive, exuding a feel all its own. Enclosed by the Sierra Maestra mountains, Santiago can also be wickedly hot. Santiagueros negotiate their hilly streets by keeping to the shady sides, and they relax with little urgency on overhanging balconies. Santiago is Cubas melting pot, with a friendly population of predominantly mulatto people: descendants of Spanish, French from Haiti, Jamaicans, and huge numbers of African slaves. Afro-Cuban traditions remain strong, reflected in music (walk down any street and a cacophony of sounds emanates from unseen sources) and particularly in carnaval, now a pale shadow of its former selfdue to lack of resourcesbut still Cubas best. Founded in 1514, Santiago was the islands capital until 1553. It is regarded as a heros city, and locals are proud of the citys rebellious past. Seminal events brought it center-stage again during the 1950s, when it assumed a major role in the revolutionary struggle. The attack on Batistas forces at the Moncada Barracks in 1953 thrust Fidel Castro into the national limelight, and it was in Santiagos main square that he first declared victory, on 1 January 1959. An industrial city, Santiago was hit especially hard when Cuba lost its Soviet support and Eastern bloc trade partners during the Special Period. Perhaps for this reason, hustlers and prostitutes work overtime here to zero in on tourists generosity. Old Santiago The most atmospheric part of the city is Old Santiago. Castro delivered his victory speech in the heart of the old town, from the balcony of city hall on Parque Cspedes. More a plaza than a park, the attractive square is a genteel place with tall trees, gas lanterns, and iron benches. Old Santiagos grid of streets unfolds here, a few blocks inland from the heavily industrialized harbor. Parque Cspedes is dominated by its twin-towered cathedral. A basilica was built on this spot in 1528, but what you see was rebuilt in the early 19th century after a series of earthquakes and fires. On the west side of the plaza is the seriously handsome Casa Diego Velzquez, built in 1516 as the residence of the founder of Cubas original seven villas. The oldest house in Cuba and considered one of the oldest in the Americas, it is in remarkable condition. Housing the Museo Colonial, its rooms overflow with fine period furniture and carved woodwork and encircle two lovely courtyards. Guides touch everything in the house, practically imploring you to sit on the furniture. Try to disregard the poorly realized reproductions of original wall murals around the courtyard. Across the square is the elegant Hotel Casa Granda, which opened in 1914. Its terrace bar on the fifth floor affords excellent views of the cathedral towers and the city beyond. East from the square, Calle Heredia is the epicenter of Santiago culture and tourism. The citys famous Casa de la Trova (music hall), which has hosted nearly all legendary Cuban musicians, is the centerpiece of both. Starting in midmorning, a succession of groups perform every style of Cuban music, from son and guarachas to boleros and salsa. Evenings in the intimate open-air space inside are the place to be. Calle Heredia is lined day and night with artisans and souvenir sellers. Down the street is the Museo del Carnaval, a museum containing instruments, photos, and artifacts from Santiagos carnival. It also usually has Afro-Cuban music on weekends, as does the Artex store up the street. Also on Calle Heredia is the Casa Natal de Jos Mara Heredia, a cultural center and the birthplace of the Cuban poet who gave his name to this much-trafficked street. Nearby, on Calle Po Rosado, the Museo Emilio Bacard has wide-ranging art, archaeological, and more recent historical collections (including a small, grotesque collection of mummies). The museum, in a shockingly grandiose neoclassic building on a beguiling little street, is named for its benefactor and the towns former mayor, whose family founded the Bacard rum empire (which moved its headquarters and production to Puerto Rico after the revolution). One of Santiagos most delightful people-watching spots is Plaza Dolores, a shady plaza lined with colonial-era homes (several of which are now curiously empty tourist restaurants). Avenida Jos A. Saco (more commonly called Enramada) is Santiagos main shopping thoroughfare, whose faded 1950s neon signs and ostentatious buildings recall more prosperousand capitalisttimes. Cobbled Calle Bartolom Mas (also known as San Basilio), just behind Heredia and the cathedral, is a delightful street that leads to the picturesque Tivol neighborhood. In Tivol youll find the famous Padre Pico steps, named for a Santiaguero priest who aided the citys poor. Castro once roared fire and brimstone down on the Batista government here, but today youll find more pacific chess and domino players who have set up all-hours tables on the steps. Take the steps up to the Museo de la Lucha Clandestina, the Museum of the Clandestine Struggle. This excellent museum, in one of the citys finest colonial houses, focuses on the activities of the resistance movement under local martyr Frank Pas. Residents of Santiago were instrumental in supporting the revolution, as were peasants in the Sierra Maestra. From the museums balcony, there are tremendous views of Santiago and the bay (and, unfortunately, of plumes of pollution rising up from ill-placed industrial plants). Not far from the museum is one of Santiagos best places to get sweaty in the evening. The Casa de las Tradiciones, a cultural center in a sweet little pink house (Calle General Lacret, 651), has live music and as much dancing as its tiny space will allow. Its great fun, and the locals usually outnumber the tourists. Just west of the Padre Pico steps (south of the train station) is the one-room Csar Escalante cigar factory, unimpressive by comparison with other Cuban cigar factories but still an enjoyable place to visit, and the Ron Caney rum factory. The oldest rum distillery in the country, it was established in 1838 by Don Facundo Bacard (whose descendants fled the country in 1959) and nationalized the following year. The rum produced here now goes under the name Havana Club. You can visit only a small museum and bar. Around Santiago A good place to get your bearings on the suburbs of the city is from the rooftop bar of the lavish hotel Cubanacn Santiago, 3 km (almost 2 miles) east of the citys center. In the near distance you can make out the yellow Moncada Barracks, which Castro along with some 135 rebels attacked on 26 July 1953. The date is now a rallying cry and public holiday, and the barracks have been converted into a school and museum. The museum tells the story of the road to revolution using dozens of memorable photographs. Also on display are various bloodstained rebel uniforms, some of Fidels personal effects from his time in the mountains, and 26 Julio armbands (sporting the name of the resistance movement that developed after the Moncada attack). The bullet holes over the entrance are just for show. North of Moncada, beyond the bus station, is the Plaza de la Revolucin, a frighteningly polluted open square at the corner of Av. las Amricas and Av. de los Libertadores. Massive spears thrust toward the sky in this monument to Antonio Maceo, a hero of the war of independence, who is seen riding triumphantly. The fine Cementerio Santa Ifigenia, just north of the harbor (Av. Crombel and Reparto Juan Gmez), is the resting place of many Cuban heroes. Pride of place goes to the Cuban founding father Jos Mart, in a vast octagonal mausoleum designed so that the tomb catches the sun throughout the day. Look also for the tombs of Cspedes and Frank Pas; Franks (as santiagueros refer to him) is marked like many others with the Cuban flag and the flag of the 26 July movement. In an impressive setting 7 km (4 miles) from the city is the 17th century El Morro Castle, surveying the harbor mouth from a commanding clifftop position. Moated, thickly walled, and full of cannons, drawbridges, and passageways, it is in excellent condition. One room houses displays on pirates through the ages. A guide will point out a torture room with a trap door in the floor, through which uncooperative prisoners and slaves were reportedly dropped to the sea below. Thats not a terribly appetizing thought, but the restaurant just beyond the castle, also called El Morro, has gorgeous views of the sea and some of Santiagos finest food; its a great place to get out of the intense sun. The easiest way to get to El Morro is to hire a taxi, which costs about US$15 roundtrip (the driver will wait for up to a couple hours while you explore the castle and even eat lunch). A place of great import (and considerable beauty) to all Cubans is the triple-domed Baslica del Cobre, named after the nearby copper mines that rise out of the forested foothills 18 km (11 miles) west of Santiago. Cuban faithful make annual pilgrimages to the church to pay tribute to its statue of a black virgin, the Virgen de la Caridad (Virgin of Charity). According to legend, Cubas patron saint was rescued bobbing in the sea in the 17th century by three young fishermen about to capsize in a storm. With the wooden statue in their grasp, they miraculously made it to shore. Pilgrims, often making the last of the trek on their knees, pray to her image and place mementos and offerings of thanks for her miracles; among them are small boats and prayers for those who have tried to escape Cuba on rafts. The Virgen is on the second floor, encased in glass and cloaked in a glittering gold robe. You can take a taxi to El Cobre for around US$15 roundtrip, although more adventurous sorts can hop a mquina (vintage American automobile taxi) or colectivo (bus or truck) out to the town and walk the mile or so to the church. If youd like to stay overnight in this spectacular (and deathly peaceful) area, there is a hostal, Hospedera de la Caridad, behind the church, where foreigners who abide by the strict rules can stay for a mere five pesos a night (see page 133). East of Santiago is Parque Baconao, a biosphere reserve spread over 40 km (25 miles). The local dark-sand beaches can be scrubby and the hotels themselves are isolated, but theres lots to explore in the park, and the Sierra de La Gran Piedra rise majestically above the coast. A tortuous side road 12 km (7 miles) east along the coast ascends the mountains to La Gran Piedra (Big Stone), where you can climb on foot for a birds-eye view of eastern Cuba. About 2 km (about a mile) beyond, a passable dirt track leads to Museo La Isabelica, a 19th-century coffee-plantation finca (country house) with a workshop, original furniture, and a concrete garden where coffee beans were once laid out to dry. Guantnamo Province You can reach Cubas remote, mountainous, far-eastern region by continuing along the coast road from Parque Baconao on a memorablebut gooddirt track and paved road; alternatively, you can backtrack to Santiago. The province has only one true tourist draw, but its a super one: the magical little town of Baracoa. The only reason to stop over in the unappealing city of Guantnamo would be to visit the lookout point that is trained on the American naval base. The dry, cactus-strewn landscape of the south coast begins to change as you follow the winding, spectacular 30-km (18.8-mile) road La Farola across the mountains to Baracoa (150 km/93 miles from Santiago), a picturesque little village known for its local chocolate and coconut factories. The tropical seaside town is surrounded by green hillsides covered with cocoa and coconut groves, and all around are palm-backed beaches and delightful, sinewy rivers. Named a UNESCO biosphere, Baracoa has no fewer than ten rivers. Its smack in the middle of the wettest region in Cuba, the reason adventure travelers have their scopes trained on the towns rivers, ripe for whitewater rafting. That Baracoa was the first settlement to be established by Diego Velzquez in 1511making it the oldest colonial city in the Americasis not in doubt. However, locals also claim that Columbus first landed at this spot (rather than near Gibara, north and west of here, as most historians believe). They insist that Columbus planted the Cruz de la Parra (Cross of the Vine) in the soil on his arrival. The cross is on display in Nuestra Seora de la Asuncin, the church on Plaza Independencia. (Whatever the truth of the matter, carbon dating has established that the cross is more than 500 years old.) Baracoa, though, has so much going for it that any associations with Columbus are a bonus. A good place to get your bearings is the hilltop Hotel El Castillo, a former castle looking out over old red-tiled roofs, the towns oyster-shaped bay, and the landmark mountain known as El Yunque (The Anvil), so named on account of its singular shape. On Calle Antonio Maceo, youll find people queuing for hot chocolate drinks in the baking tropical sun at Casa del Chocolate. Opposite is a charming Casa de la Trova, with rooftop performances. In the main square is a striking bust of Hatuey, the brave Indian leader who resisted early conquistadores until he was caught by the Spanish and burned at the stake. Also wander along the Malecn, the seaside avenue, from the snug Fuerte Matachn (an early 19th-century fort that has a small municipal museum attached) to the Hotel La Rusa, named after a legendary and glamorous Russian migre who over the years hosted celebrities from Che and Fidel to Errol Flynn. In and around Baracoa are several dozen pre-Colombian archaeological sites related to the three major Indian groups that inhabited the town at one time or another. Only one native group, the Yateras, still exists. Baracoa really shines the week of 1 April, when heady street parties every night commemorate the date General Antonio Maceo disembarked at nearby Playa Duaba in 1895, marking the beginning of Cubas War of Independence. California Bar Journal Few who need legal help get it December, 2002 California lags far behind comparable states in funding legal services for the poor, a situation so dire that only 28 percent of the civil legal needs of the state's poor and lowerincome residents are being addressed. That figures translates into 2 million people without the ability to access the justice system, according to a new study by the California Commission on Access to Justice, which also found that despite increased spending, the gap between need and services remains substantial. "As a practical matter, in most cases there can be no access to justice without access to legal assistance," said Jack Londen, past commission chair and a partner with Morrison & Foerster in San Francisco. "Whether we like it or not, sometimes landlords illegally evict tenants, children with disabilities are denied proper care, veterans don't get services guaranteed to them, and elderly people need legal assistance to escape the abuse of a caregiver." California has the highest number of people in poverty in the nation - 6.4 million, including nearly one in five children. Half the nation's increase in poverty in the 1990s, when the number of poor jumped 30 percent, occurred in California, and nearly 25 percent of the nation's poverty increase occurred in Los Angeles County alone. Even those with jobs are suffering: 26 percent of California workers earn poverty level wages. The commission's report, "The Path to Equal Justice: A Five-Year Status Report on Access to Justice in California," examined how the legal needs of the state's poor have changed in the last five years as well as both the shortcomings of the justice system and the improvements during that period. Despite increases in state funding to meet the legal needs of the poor, low interest rates (which have reduced the IOLTA fund), high unemployment and the present economic downturn have threatened any gains. States like Minnesota and New Jersey spend three times more than California to meet the poor's legal needs, Connecticut and Massachusetts spend more than twice as much, and countries like England, Canada, Australia, Scotland and New Zealand spend anywhere from two to 14 times more proportionately than California, despite the fact that California has the world's sixth largest economy. The report says the state would need to triple its combined public and private investment in legal services to adequately meet the legal needs of low-income Californians. The 1996 welfare reform legisla tion, in particular, brought dramatic changes to the lives of those living in poverty, for while fewer people now receive welfare benefits, those who left welfare to work are still poor. And the legal issues they face "have become more numerous and complex," the report said. "Parents who found only low-paying jobs without health benefits did not improve the well-being of their children. Women who entered the workforce in low-skilled positions with no opportunity to acquire marketable skills lack realistic long-term options. Obstacles to employment such as lack of child care and transportation, domestic violence and job discrimination raise a host of new legal issues." Those issues revolve around an extensive universe of problems, including housing, education, domestic violence, immigration, employment, grandparent guardianships, bankruptcy and consumer debt, veterans' issues, elder abuse and home equity fraud, the report said. To meet all those needs, there is only one legal aid lawyer for every 10,000 poor Californians. Despite this bleak picture, the state's civil justice community has taken significant steps to close the gap between need and services in the past five years: The legislature and the governor established the Equal Access Fund, which has provided $10 million annually since 1999 for more than 100 local legal services programs. Access to the courts has been enhanced through a variety of self-help options, including online assistance in every county, a system of family law facilitators, increased funding for alternative dispute resolution and simplified forms and procedures. The Judicial Council is addressing language barriers by increasing the availability of qualified interpreters and translating forms and instructions into Spanish, Vietnam-ese, Korean and Chinese. Legal services programs have been strengthened by offering a wide range of services, including self-help clinics and hotlines and working relationships with social services agencies to meet all of a client's needs. Still, when more than 70 percent of the poor's legal needs are not being met, much remains to be done, the report points out. It recommends adding to the access fund, increasing both the number of pro bono hours and financial contributions from attorneys, improved assistance for unrepresented litigants and access to an attorney for those who require one, and development of a statewide plan to distribute legal services more evenly throughout the state to insure that the rural population also is served. "I know my fe llow judges want to do justice and not inflict injustice," observed Justice Earl Johnson of the California Court of Appeal, who chaired the committee that researched and wrote the report. "More than anyone, they know it can be nearly impossible to do the former and avoid the latter in a one-sided contest where only one litigant has a lawyer." "Our whole society is harmed when access and fairness are denied," said Londen. "Clearly, California can - and must - do better." Hi Tom. What is your last name? My last name is Tom. Well, actually my whole name is Thomas R. Goedeke. Ah, OK! Tom I'll be asking you some questions and this will be the first one. What stories do you remember family members telling you when you were a child? Ha! How about a ghost story? Oh! When a person dies in my family they're supposed to visit all the relatives that are alive. And that was, that was a story that we used to hear. Of course when my 99 years old grandmother died, she didn't visit anybody. Who used to tell you this? My grandmother. I was kind of disappointed that she didn't remember to visit me after she passed away. Do you remember usually in what places she used to tell you? Like at home or special occasions? No. Just uh, when uh, I don't know, when, when we talked about family members. But, but as I recall, I never asked her if she'd ever had a, maybe she did, she did tell me that someone got on the end of her bed when she was a kid and it was a departed family member. It kind of, it scared her, but at the same time she knew whoever it was had uh, passed away. How about that? And it never happened to you? No. Is that wild? Yeah, wild. Do you tell that to your children? No, no I haven't so far I haven't. Yeah, I might have told Andrea, my daughter. Uh huh. And, and do you remember your house? How it looked? How it was? When I was a kid? Oh sure, very much. But I didn't grow up around here. I grew up in New Jersey. And your grandma was in New Jersey too? Yeah, she was in New Jersey, and she had a house that was not far from our house and it was just a little old house and you know, my mother, my parents, my mother grew up there, my uncles, my aunts. And I remember stories about grapes, how they had grapes in the backyard. They had a grape arbor, where the grapes grow, and my mother to this day hates having grapes. Grape anything. Because in the Depression they had grapes. You know, grape jelly, grapes this, grapes that, lots of grapes. So. -- Wow! That is interesting. What about stories from your parents? From your father? From my father? He talks about being in the Depression and they were very poor, and they had to get coal. They had to uh, heat their house and there was a place where the trains had to slow down on this hill as they climbed with, with coal going to New York City and the kids would get on this train with big sacks, big heavy sacks called burlap sacks and they would steal coal from the train, put it in these big bags, throw the bags off jump off before the train got rolling fast again to go down the hill. And that's how they kept warm in the winter, and the winters were very severe. Do you remember how old your father was? He said uh, you know, ten years old, you know nine, just young. Um. What about your mom? My mom talks uh, tells stories about picking tomatoes and she used to pick beans and tomatoes for a nickel a bushel and a bushel is a big basket and they would, she'd work all day. Maybe it was, no, I think it was a nickel picking these beans and they got a nickel for it. This may or may not be true. It, maybe it was a quarter, it was a very small amount of money. Beans are a pain to pick. When she was a child? Yeah, when she was a kid. Sure. And where? In New Jersey? In New Jersey too. They're both from New Jersey. Wonderful. What about reading? Do you remember something about reading? I remember my grandmother, who was Welsh trying to teach me Welsh and she would sing nursery songs to me and tell me little poems in Welsh. I've never forgiven her for it. And why? It is a very difficult language. It's got clicks and it just doesn't sound like anything that is even, that we are even familiar with. Like a Romance language, like Italian or Spanish or French. This is stuff that's totally, "whoo," over the mountain and people just, Welsh is a dead language. And do you remember anything? Oh yeah, I remember the sounds of it. Like "orrorrrrr" kind of like "rorrrroruh," click, and she'd click and say funny things with the clicking sound. The clicking was fascinating, how she can talk and click at the same time was fascinating and then she wore dentures too and that made it even more fantastic. But um, favorite books when you were a child? My favorite books? Oh, I always liked Kon-Tiki by Thor Heyerdahl and he was a man who was in the South Pacific and he demonstrated that the Polynesians could weave basket boats together and travel all around the Pacific with these boats and to me that was fab, fabulous. So, you read those books. Oh Yeah. And I still have them. I actually looked at them once in a while and reminisce, you know, an unfulfilled dream. Wonderful. Thank you very much. Is that it? Yeah. You want to add something else? No, I guess that's about it. OK. Thank you very much. Negril Hedonism II (AI) Norman Manley Blvd. , P.O. Box 25, Negril; Tel. 957-5200, 957-5204, 800-417-5288 (toll-free from US and Canada); fax 957-5289; e-mail ; website . An all-inclusive, anything goes swinging resort at the north end of the beach in 22 acres of landscaped gardens. Includes land and water sports and nightly entertainment. Tile floors, mirrored ceilings above the beds. 280 rooms. Major credit cards. Negril Tree House Resort - Norman Manley Boulevard, P.O. Box 29, Negril; Tel. 957-4287, 957-4288, 800-NEGRIL (toll-free from US); fax 957-4386; e-mail . Set centrally amid the hotspots of the beach with plenty of entertainment choices for both day and night. Comfortable beachside rooms with TVs and safety-deposit boxes. 70 rooms. Major credit cards. Rockhouse Hotel West End, Negril; Tel. 957-4373; fax 957-4373; e-mail ; website . Commanding a rocky promontory in West End with views of spectacular sunsets, this collection of thatch-roofed villas has a tranquil setting. Cliff-top pool and access to swimming and snorkeling in Pristine Cove more than make up for no sandy beach. Not suitable for young children. 28 rooms. Major credit cards. Sandals Negril Beach Resort and Spa (AI) Norman Manley Boulevard, P.O. Box 12, Negril; Tel. 957-5216, 800-SANDALS (toll-free from US); fax 957-5338; e-mail ; website . Luxurious yet laid-back, with a slightly wicked reputation, on a sought-after stretch of the beach. A couples only all-inclusive resort. Four restaurants ranging from Jamaican and Japanese to low-calorie, stir-fried specialties and international cuisine. 215 rooms. Major credit cards. Swept Away Hotel (AI) Norman Manley Boulevard, P.O. Box 77, Negril; Tel. 957-4061, 957-4066, 800-545-7937 (toll-free from US); fax 957-4060; e-mail ; website . Beachfront all-inclusive hotel for couples only. Sports and fitness complex and live entertainment. Five bars and two restaurants with good health-food selection. 134 rooms. Major credit cards. Xtabi Resort - P.O. Box 19, Light House Road, West End, Negril; Tel. 957-4336; fax 957-0127; e-mail ; website . Seven sea-front cottages in tropical gardens on the cliffs. Steps lead down to caves for snorkeling. Native wood floors and rustic furnishings; outside showers with privacy walls. All rooms have safes, some have kitchenettes, and many have refrigerators; garden rooms more modern, with tiled floors and air-conditioning. 23 rooms. Major credit cards. Montego Bay Breezes Montego Bay (AI) Gloucester Avenue, White Sands Post Office, Montego Bay; Tel. 940-1150, 940-1157; fax 940-1160; e-mail ; website . All-inclusive accommodations range from intimate cabins to lavish suites. All rooms are tiled, air-conditioned, and equipped with satellite TV, clock radio, telephone, safe-deposit box, and hair dryer. Dining facilities include Jimmys Buffet and Martinos Italian restaurant; poolside bar serves snacks throughout the day. Close to airport and Doctors Cave Beach. 124 rooms. Major credit cards. Coyaba Beach Resort and Club Main road lot 1822, Little River Post Office, Ironshore, Montego Bay; Tel. 953-9150, 953-9153, 800-330-8272 (toll-free from US and Canada); fax 953-2244; e-mail ; website . Plantation-style rooms with hand-carved furniture, satellite television, silent air conditioning, ceiling fans, hairdryers, in-room safes. Private white-sand beach, swimming pool, heated jacuzzi, and a private dock with pick-up for fishing and diving charters. Complimentary water sports including sailing, windsurfing, kayaking, pedal boats, and snorkeling. 50 rooms. Major credit cards. Half Moon Golf, Tennis, and Beach Club -Rose Hall, P.O. Box 80, Montego Bay; Tel. 953-2211, 800-626-0592 (toll-free from US); fax 953-2731; e-mail ; website . Beautifully landscaped gardens and a private bay giving the resort its name. Mahogany furniture, Jamaican paintings, cable TV, air conditioning, mini-bars, hair dryers, and in-room safes. Asian-style restaurant, English pub, and a coffee shop. Land and water sports include squash, tennis, health and fitness center, equestrian center, and a par-72 championship golf course. 338 rooms. Major credit cards. Round Hill Hotel and Villas P.O. Box 64, Montego Bay; Tel. 956-7050, 956-7055, 800-972-2159 (toll-free from US); fax 956-7505; e-mail ; website . A casually elegant hotel set in what was once a pineapple plantation, with seaside freshwater pool and opportunities for snorkeling in crystal clear waters of a private white-sand beach. Well-equipped exercise room; varied nightly entertainment including beach bonfire picnic with calypso tunes and dancing. 63 rooms. Major credit cards. Sandals Montego Bay (AI) P.O. Box 100, Kent Avenue, Montego Bay; Tel. 952-5510; fax 952-0816; e-mail ; website . Situated on its own private beach just ten minutes from the airport and seconds away from the coral reefs offshore. All-inclusive couples-only resort has rooms with king-sized beds, air conditioning, cable TV, clock radio, and coffee-making facilities. 245 rooms. Special equipment available for disabled guests. Major credit cards. The Tryall Club P.O. Box 1206, Montego Bay; Tel. 956-5660, 800-742-0498 or 800-238-5290 (toll-free from US); fax 956-5673; website . A luxurious seaside villa hideaway with a championship golf course on a tropical estate originally built as a sugar plantation. Presided over by a 162-year-old Georgian-style great house and situated on manicured gardens and rolling hills, with a palm-dotted white sand beach. 69 rooms. Major credit cards. Wyndham Rose Hall Golf and Beach Club Rose Hall, P.O. Box 999, Montego Bay; Tel. 953-2650, 953-2654, 800-WYNDHAM (toll-free from US); fax 953-2617. Situated on an old sugar plantation and along a stretch of secluded, sandy beach. All rooms have color TV, alarm clock/radio, en-suite bathrooms, real hangers, and shower massage. Shopping arcade, beauty salon, and golf course. 489 rooms. Major credit cards. Ocho Rios Hibiscus Lodge 8387 Main Street, P.O. Box 52, Ocho Rios; Tel. 974-2676; fax 974-1874. Rooms perched on top of cliffs surrounded by extensive gardens, with paths and stairways down to snorkeling opportunities. Glass-shuttered rooms with verandas offering views of the sea, located a short way out of the center of Ocho Rios. Good sized swimming pool and cliff-top jacuzzi. Selection of open and covered restaurants. 26 rooms. Major credit cards. The Little Pub Hotel 59 Main St., P.O. Box 256, Ocho Rios; Tel. 974-2324, 974-5826, 974-6570; fax 974-5825; e-mail ; website . An unusual two-story Georgian building five minutes from the beach, centrally located in a lively complex of restaurants, cocktail bar with a resident band, and shops. All rooms with air-conditioning (some with loft) and cable TV. 25 rooms. Major credit cards. Renaissance Jamaica Grande Main Street, P.O. Box 100, Ocho Rios; Tel. 974-2201, 974-2219; fax 974-2289; e-mail ; website . Beachfront location overlooking the cruise port, with three swimming pools, two whirlpools, water sports center, sauna, steam room, exercise and weight room, plus lighted tennis courts. Five restaurants. 720 rooms. Major credit cards. Port Antonio Blue Lagoon Villas P.O. Box 2, Fairy Hill, Port Antonio; Tel. 993-8491, 800-337-3499 (toll-free from US); fax 993-8492; e-mail ; website . Luxurious sophistication next to the Blue Lagoon. You can reach four white-sand beaches, four restaurants, five bars, and an island by taking a boat or simply diving from your villas deck and swimming to them. 26 rooms. Major credit cards. Ciboney Ocho Rios (AI) P.O. Box 728, Ocho Rios; Tel. 974-1027, 974-1029, 800-CIBONEY (toll-free from US); fax 974-5838; e-mail . All-inclusive units are in villas and a great house in tropical setting overlooking Caribbean. Water sports include snorkeling, sunfish sailing, windsurfing, kayaking, and glass-bottomed boat trips; also tennis, horseshoes, volleyball, basketball, and golf. Four restaurants and two cafs. 289 rooms. Major credit cards. Couples (AI) Tower Isle, P.O. Box 330, Ocho Rios; Tel. 975-4271, 975-4275, 800-COUPLES (toll-free from US); fax 975-4439; website . An all-inclusive beachfront resort for couples only. All rooms have either ocean or mountain view, air conditioning, balcony or patio, king-sized beds, satellite TV, compact disc/cassette players, and in-room safes. Tropical Mini-Jungle with two jacuzzis, private island for nude sunbathing, plus swim-up pool bar, hammocks, lounge chairs. 212 rooms. Major credit cards. Dragon Bay Hotel Fairy Hill District, P.O. Box 176, Port Antonio; Tel. 993-8751, 993-8753; fax 993-3284; e-mail ; website . A secluded and tranquil setting in Dragon Bay. Colonial-style central building with pub, fitness room, and shops is surrounded by villas with views overlooking the bay. Each room is equipped with refrigerator, kettle, hair dryer, and coffee-making facilities. 30 villas (suites above, rooms below). Major credit cards. Goblin Hill Villas at San San 11 East Avenue, Kingston 10; Tel. call collect at 925-8108 or 925-7896, 800-472-1148 (toll-free from US); fax 925-6248. A lush site set high on a hillside with excellent views over the sea. Self-contained villas with fully equipped kitchens staffed with cook/housekeeper. Freshwater swimming pool and two tennis courts. Complimentary access to San San beach; nature trails lead through a rain-forest environment. 28 villas. Major credit cards. Mocking Bird Hill Hotel P.O. Box 254, Port Antonio; Tel. 993-7267; fax 993-7133; e-mail . A tranquil environment nestled in verdant foothills of the Blue Mountains, decorated throughout with original art. White-tiled rooms with Jamaican hand-crafted bamboo furniture and locally printed fabrics offer panoramic views. Fine restaurant. 10 rooms. Major credit cards. Trident Villas and Hotel P.O. Box 119, Port Antonio; Tel. 993-2602, 993-2705, 800-633-3284 (toll-free from US or Canada); fax 993-2590, 993-2960, or (201) 767-5510. Antique-furnished rooms on coastline gardens offer a taste of the past. A rich variety of natural beauty close by provides opportunities to explore caves, a waterfall, and secluded beaches. 34 rooms. Major credit cards. Treasure Beach (South Coast) Jakes - Calabash Bay, Treasure Beach, St. Elizabeth; Tel. 965-3145, 965-3185, 800-OUTPOST (toll-free from US and Canada); fax 965-0552; e-mail ; website . An eclectic collection of colorful cottages set atop low cliffs in a secluded bay. Each room has a different theme, from Jamaican shack to Mexican pueblo. All have in-room CD players and free use of the hotels extensive music collection. Tropical ceiling fans and mosquito nets maintain the traditional feel. Freshwater, rock-lined swimming pool; bar. 12 rooms. Major credit cards. Sunset Resort Villas Calabash Bay, Treasure Beach, St. Elizabeth; Tel. 965-0143, 800-786-8452 (toll-free from US); fax 965-0555; website . Set on landscaped gardens with native plants and trees, semiprivate beachfront, freshwater swimming pool, and large thatch canopies with swinging hammocks. All rooms have air-conditioning and ceiling fan. Large common living room available with satellite TV. Outdoor BBQ, poolside or indoor dining. 12 rooms. Major credit cards. Kingston Area Christar Villas 99-A Hope Road, Kingston 6; Tel. 978-8066, 978-8071; fax 978-8068. Minutes away from the financial district of New Kingston and the Bob Marley Museum. Each room in this gated complex offers air conditioning, TV, telephone, and a fully equipped kitchenette. Swimming pool and fitness room. 22 rooms. Major credit cards. Hotel Four Seasons - 18 Ruthven Road, Kingston 10; Tel. 926-8805, 929-7655, 929-7657; fax 929-5964; e-mail ; website . Converted from one of the citys fine Edwardian homes, the Four Seasons is less than five minutes walk from New Kingston, behind secure walls in grounds embellished with a wide selection of tropical fruit trees. Fascinating combination of continental European and Jamaican styles. 76 rooms. Major credit cards. Le Meridien Jamaica Pegasus 81 Knutsford Boulevard, P.O. Box 333, Kingston 5; Tel. 926-3690, 926-3699, 800-543-4300 (toll-free from US); fax 968-4582; e-mail ; website . Situated in the financial and business district, close to many of the areas foremost attractions. All rooms are equipped with satellite TV, hair dryers, safes, electronic locks, complimentary coffee- and tea-making facilities, at least two telephones in the bedroom, and balconies with either mountain or pool/ocean view. Non-smoking floors. 350 rooms. Major credit cards. Morgans Harbour Hotel Port Royal; Tel. 967-8030, 967-8040, 967-8060; fax 967-8073; e-mail . Situated in Port Royal at the entrance to Kingston Harbour, with commanding views of the city skyline and the Blue Mountains. Spacious rooms with satellite TV; freshwater swimming pool, small private beach, complete scuba and water sports center. An acclaimed dining in the restaurant next to the yacht marina provides excellent evening views. 45 rooms. Major credit cards. Strawberry Hill Hotel Irish Town, P.O. Box 590, St. Andrews; Tel. 944-8400, 800-OUTPOST (toll-free from US and Canada); fax 944-8408; e-mail ; website . All villas feature traditional 19th-century Jamaican architecture for an authentic Old World atmosphere. Near Kingston and surrounded by the Blue Mountains and extensive gardens, with exceptional panoramic views (including Kingston). In-room CD equipment with selection of music. 12 rooms. Major credit cards. Negril Errols Sunset Caf - Norman Manley Boulevard, Negril. Located on the beach, this is an ideal place for lunch or a sunset drink. Excellent Jamaican meals, especially the selection of fresh soup, at very reasonable prices. Its not a place if youre in a rush, as all meals are cooked individually to ensure freshness. Cash only. Gambinos at The Beachcomber Club, Negril; Tel. 957-4170. Casually elegant dining outdoors with an ocean view. Usual Jamaican favorites, along with authentic Italian food. Buffet and la carte available. Free pick up service. Major credit cards. Just Natural Restaurant West End Road, Negril. Excellent vegetarian meals from appetizers to desserts, prepared to perfection with the addition of fresh fish daily. Major credit cards. Kuyaba Norman Manley Boulevard, Negril; Tel. 957-4318. Caribbean and international cuisine set amid tropical folia ge and Jamaican architecture. Full beach service during the day; happy hour from 4:30pm until the sun goes down. Free pick-up service. Major credit cards. Margueritaville Bar and Grill - Norman Manley Boulevard, Negril; Tel. 957-4467. Lively sports bar and grill located centrally on Negrils beach. Convenient for lounging on the beach, with full service available. Frequent special evenings with theme entertainment. Free pick-up service. Major credit cards. Negril Tree House - Norman Manley Boulevard, Negril; Tel. 957-4287, 957-4288. Jamaican food plus almost everything else, including pizzas, any time of day. Major credit cards. The Pickled Parrot - West End Road, Negril; Tel. 957-4864. A combination of Jamaican, American, and Mexican cuisine served in a cliff-top setting. Lounge chairs under thatched-roof huts, water chute into the sea, and rope swing provide extra entertainment. Free pick-up service. Major credit cards. Rockhouse Restaurant and Bar - Rockhouse Hotel, West End Road, Negril; Tel. 957-4373. Serving Jamaican meals with European influences in a newly designed thatch-covered restaurant set on top of cliffs, providing an ideal location for sunset cocktails. Major credit cards. Xtabi Cliff Restaurant - Xtabi Resort, West End Road, Negril; Tel. 957-4336. Proud of their lobster and meat dishes char-grilled or cooked any other way. Cliff-top location overlooking the sea, about two miles out of town. Major credit cards. Montego Bay Marguerites Gloucester Avenue, Montego Bay; Tel. 952-4777. Right on the waterfront; offers a more formal atmosphere and a great place to catch a sunset. Dinner only, morning until night. Major credit cards. (see Margueritaville, below, for the sports bar located in same establishment. ) Margueritaville - Gloucester Avenue, Montego Bay; Tel. 952-4777. Lively sports bar and grill located at the start of the main strip in Montego Bay. Roof-top deck with water chute and floating trampoline. Frequent special evenings with theme entertainment. Free pick-up service. Major credit cards. Tapas Corniche Road, off Gloucester Avenue, Montego Bay; Tel. 952 2988. Elegant veranda dining on hillside above Gloucester Avenue. Music adds to the ambience and the stylish presentation of European cuisine with a touch of Jamaican flavoring. Dinner only, from morning until night. Major credit cards. The Pork Pit 27 Gloucester Avenue, Montego Bay; Tel. 952-1046. Very basic but very good Jamaican food served through the kitchen window, with garden gazebos to sit and eat in. Cash only. Walters Bar and Grill 39 Gloucester Avenue, Montego Bay; Tel. 952-9391. Casual dining in a sports-bar atmosphere. American and Jamaican cuisine, including buffalo wings (jerk-style) and burgers. This place is as popular with locals as it is with visitors, so its a great place to meet people. Major credit cards. Ocho Rios The Little Pub - 59 Main Street, Ocho Rios; Tel. 974-2324. A center of cocktail bars and restaurants with live music six nights a week and the ubiquitous karaoke and large-screen satellite T.V. A mixture of Jamaican specialities and standard American and European dishes in a lively setting. Major credit cards. Port Antonio Almond Tree in Hibiscus Lodge Hotel, Main Street, Ocho Rios; Tel. 974-2813. A gourmet restaurant offering great views of the sea and serving international and local cuisine. Inside and open-air dining by candlelight. Major credit cards. Blue Lagoon - Fairey Hill, Port Antonio; Tel. 993-8491. Authentic Jamaican cuisine (including jerk chicken, pork, and fish), or choose your own lobster. A place with a spectacular setting. Lunch and dinner daily from 10am to 10pm. Live music most weekends. Major credit cards. Evitas Italian Restaurant Eden Bower Road, Ocho Rios; Tel. 974-2333, 974-1012. Italian food with a touch of Jamaican spice. The essential place to see-and-be-seen, this is the only restaurant overlooking Ocho Rios and the sea. Everyone in the music, fashion, or film business has probably eaten here. Lunch and dinner daily from 11am11pm. Major credit cards. Mille Fleurs in Hotel Mocking Bird Hill, Port Antonio; Tel. 993-7267. A creative mix of international and local cuisine that includes a good vegetarian selection. Most produce is locally grown, with some from the restaurants own organic garden. Located in the foothills of the Blue Mountains with panoramic views. Dinner only, daily 710pm. Major credit cards. Pavilion Restaurant at Dragon Bay Beach Resort, Port Antonio; Tel. 993-8751, 993-8753. Overlooking the bay in a tranquil, casual setting, this spot offers a variety of international cuisine mixed with local specialities. Live entertainment each evening. Dinner only, daily 710pm. Major credit cards. Trident Villas and Hotel Port Antonio; Tel. 993-2602. Formal dining by candlelight with white-gloved waiters and antique furniture. Excellent food and service. Dinner only, daily 710pm. Major credit cards. Treasure Beach (South Coast) Jakes at Jakes resort, Calabash Bay, Treasure Beach; Tel. 965-0635. The best of Jamaicas spicy cuisine, including saltfish and ackee, rice and peas, fish in coconut milk, and Escovitch fish. The catch is always fresh. Soups include conch chowder, cream of pumpkin, red pea with pieces of beef and yam, and pepper pot. Major credit cards. Yabba Treasure Beach Hotel, Treasure Beach; Tel. 965-0110, 965-0114. Jamaican and international food presented in a relaxed atmosphere. The owner grows many of the vegetables and fruits on his own farm. Major credit cards. Kingston Bullseye Knutsford Boulevard, Kingston; Tel. 960-8724. Steaks to please the most discerning palates plus a great salad bar; this simple but straightforward combination is difficult to beat. Lunch and dinner daily, 10am10pm. Major credit cards. Jade Garden 106 Hope Road, Sovereign Center, Kingston; Tel. 978-3476, 978-3479. Hong Kong chefs prepare traditional Chinese food, and the islands two largest saltwater tanks ensure that all seafood is absolutely fresh. There is a choice of over 100 exotic dishes. Views of the Blue Mountains from picture windows are spectacular. Reservations recommended. Major credit cards. Morgans Harbour Hotel Port Royal; Tel. 967-8030. Internationally acclaimed Jamaican and continental cuisine in a casual atmosphere overlooking Port Royal Marina, with views of the Kingston skyline across the bay. Major credit cards. Chicago Daily Law Bulletin April 17, 2002 High Court Seeks Higher Registration Fees Daniel C. Vock Law Bulletin Staff Writer SPRINGFIELD -- Registration fees for Illinois lawyers could jump as much as $49 a year if lawmakers adopt two separate measures to bolster pro-bono services and support for lawyers with drug and alcohol problems. The Illinois Supreme Court is pushing for legislation that would allow it to dedicate money raised through the fee hikes to legal services to the poor. The justices are floating a $42 increase to shore up financing for pro-bono work, as the normal funding mechanism for legal services has fallen short in recent years. Currently, support for non-profit legal aid groups comes from interest generated on the Lawyers' Trust Fund, which pools clients' money that attorneys hold for such matters as escrow funds. But low interest rates and a sagging economy mean there is less money being generated. After hours of discussion, the high court agreed that raising the registration fees would be the best way to address the declining revenues, Chief Justice Moses W. Harrison II said. The judges were reluctant to raise those fees but eventually decided that supporting probono services was important enough "and lawyers had a responsibility to contribute" to the cause, Harrison said. Last year, the high court raised the base fee for active attorneys to $180 from $140. Lawyers in their first three years of practice or who are inactive pay $90, and retired lawyers pay nothing. Legislation circulated by the high court's lobbyist specifies that the hike would apply to attorneys "paying full annual registration fees." In 2001, there were 57,392 active attorneys in Illinois and 74,311 on the full roll, according to the Attorney Registration and Disciplinary Commission. The hike would raise roughly $2.4 million. Last year, interest on the trust fund totaled $4.5 million, but service and handling fees consumed $538,000 of that amount. This year's returns are projected to be anywhere between $700,000 and $1 million short of that mark, said Ruth Ann Schmitt, the executive director of Lawyers Trust Fund of Illinois. Harrison said the fee hikes are designed only to counter the shortfall in interest income, not add to the total amount available. "Our legal services are already stretched to the breaking point," Schmitt said. "We have a tough time raising enough money to properly fund services that our clients need." Neither the Illinois State Bar Association nor The Chicago Bar Association has taken a stance on the proposed hikes. The court's initiative is far from a done deal. The proposal has not been attached to any legislation currently viable in either the House or Senate. The court needs legislative approval to set up a separate state account to deposit the money. That would mark a change from the way money earned through the Interest on Lawyer Trust Account, or IOLTA, is handled. In fact, the high court once became embroiled in a dispute with the auditor general's office over whether the auditor could examine IOLTA funds because they were not in a state account. On another front, the state's largest two bar associations are backing a measure to increase attorney registration fees by $7 to fund the Lawyers' Assistance Program. That legislation, House Bill 4078, would also use a separate state account to collect the money. The Lawyers' Assistance Program is designed to help lawyers with drug or alcohol abuse problems, or with mental health problems. The bill calling for the $7 increase passed the House but is currently stalled in the Senate. The legislation must pass the hearing stage by next Thursday. Legislation is available online at www.legis.state.il.us. a brief History T he fertile Nile Valley has supported human life for over 8,000 years. Stone Age settlers developed from hunters to farmers, growing barley and wheat crops that originated in Mesopotamia. Mesopotamian script was also copied, but it developed into the first Egyptian written language. From the earliest days Egyptians recorded their activities on papyrus paper, helping us to piece together the pivotal moments in the great days of the Ancient Egyptian Empire. Ancient Egypts complicated annals are filled with massive communal building projects and great individuals traced through many millennia. Archaeologists are still debating about the exact chronology of certain Egyptian dynasties and individual rulers, however, general agreement exists on the division of history into set phases, giving a name to each. The Pre-Dynastic and Early Dynastic periods are followed by the Old, Middle, and New Kingdoms with Intermediate periods in between. These are followed by the Late, Macedonian, and Ptolemaic periods until Egypt was absorbed into the Roman Empire in the first century a.d. The Pre-Dynastic and Early Dynastic Periods (50002780 b.c. ) For many years Egypt was not one kingdom but twoUpper Egypt in the south and Lower Egypt in the north. It was not until 3170 b.c. that King Narmer of Upper Egypt conquered Lower Egypt. Around 3100 b.c. the kingdoms of Upper and Lower Egypt were unified under King Meneshis crown was the first to depict the symbols of both kingdoms. He made his capital at Memphis in Lower Egypt (near present-day Cairo) and the first Dynasty was founded. The Old and Middle Kingdoms The Old Kingdom was established around 2780 b.c. and lasted more than five centuries. It heralded the first great phase of development in science and architecture; hieroglyphs were developed and the first great building phase took place. Rulers began to grow more powerful and looked for some way to prove their might both in life and in death. King Djoser of the Fourthth Dynasty was the first to attempt to build a large funerary monument to hold his mortal remains and protect the riches buried with him for his next life. The result is the step pyramid at Saqqara. Other rulers followed suit and by 2526 b.c. the design had been perfected and the world was graced by the Great Pyramid at Giza built for Khufu (or Cheops). Not long before this time, between 25752550 b.c. , King Kephren had the Sphinx erected in his honor at Giza. It was at this momentous time that the first mummifications began. Khufus son Redjedef, made a monumental change to Egyptian life when he introduced the solar deity Ra, or Re, into the Egyptian religion. Worship of Ra would grow to become one of the most important facets of Egyptian culture over the next 3,000 years. However, during the decisive years between 21402040 b.c. , a split occurred between the two Kingdoms when rival power bases arose in Heliopolis in Lower Egypt and Thebes (modern Luxor) in Upper Egypt. This is what archaeologists call the first intermediate period. The Karnak temple at Thebes was begun around 2134 b.c. , marking the citys rise to prominence. The Middle Kingdom, 20401801 b.c. , commenced with Theban rulers of the 11th Dynasty attempting to extend their control, and Egypt was reunified under Mentuhotep II. His successors built a power base at Thebes, and started a cultural renaissance with wide-reaching effects on Egyptian art and archaeology. The local Theban god Amon became intertwined with Ra creating the deity Amon Ra and around 1800 b.c. , the female Osiris cult developed into a main deity. Thebes held onto power until the 12th Dynasty, when its first king, Amenemhet Iwho reigned between 19801951 b.c. established a capital near Memphis. However, he continued to give prominence to the Theban god Amon, ensuring that the worship spread across the Kingdom. But other rival peoples coveted the riches of Egypt and near 1600 b.c. , a people called the Hyskos invaded Lower Egypt from Libya, splitting the Kingdom in two and starting the second intermediate period. The New Kingdom (15401100 b.c.) Hyskos rule lasted less than 100 years. They were driven out of Lower Egypt by Ahmose I who founded the 18th Dynasty, ruling over a united Egypt from a capital at Thebes. The pharaohs of the 18th Dynasty instigated many important reforms. They reorganized the army and consolidated power in the hands of family members at the expense of feudal leaders. Artistically and culturally Egypt reached its zenith during the New Kingdom and many of the most renowned Pharaohs reigned during this time. The Valley of the Kings was also chosen as a new burial ground for the Pharaohs when Tuthmoses I (15041492 b.c. ) was entombed in a narrow valley across the river from the temple at Karnak. Throughout the 1400s (b.c. ) Karnak and Luxor temples were greatly expanded and several huge building projects took place on the west bank. However in 13561339 b.c. a new Pharaoh, Amenophis IV, decided to leave Thebes and, with his wife Nefertiti, created a new capital on a virgin site at Tell El Amarna to the north. He introduced a monotheistic cult around the one true godAtenand changed his name to Akhenaten (He who pleases Aten. ). This sudden change brought chaos to Egypt and she lost international influence, but Akhenatens successorhis son, the young Tutankhamunbrought power back to Thebes and reinvested the priests of Amon Ra and his fellow gods with religious supremacy. Tutankhamun died in mysterious circumstances without an heir. His warrior successor, Ramses I, heralded the start of the 19th Dynasty to be followed by Seti I 12911279 b.c. who won back many of the lands lost during the Akhenaten years. The 60-year rule of Ramses II (12791212 b.c. ) was a great finale to the New Kingdom era. One of the most prolific builders in the history of Egypt ruled for over 60 years and supervised magnificent projects expanding Luxor and Karnak temples and creating the magnificent Abu Simbel. Some scholars now postulate that Ramses II was the Egyptian Pharoah of biblical fame who let the Jews leave his land for Israel. Following Ramses II, Ramses III built a vast mortuary complex at Medinet Habu but power was already slipping from royal hands into those of the exclusive and secretive priesthood known as the servants of Amun-Ra. In 1070 b.c. the country was split again and foreign powers began to overrun the borders. By 715 b.c. Egypt was already dominated by foreign powerthe Assyriansand also began increasing trade and diplomacy with the expanding Roman Empire. The Ptolemaic Period In 332 b.c. Alexander the Great occupied Egypt and appointed Cleomenes of Naucratis, a Greek resident in Egypt and his Macedonian general, as governor. Then, after Alexanders death in 323 b.c. , Cleomenes took control of the country under the name Ptolemy I. The new city of Alexandria, located on the Mediterranean coast, became the base for the Ptolemaic control of Egypt and the cultural capital of Europe,and Thebes finally lost its influence. However, the Ptolemies were responsible for building and refurbishing several important temples in Upper Egypt, including Denderah, Philae, and Edfu. They adopted Egyptian gods as their own and did much to prolong Egyptian culture rather than simply converting it to Greek. The Ptolemaic era came to an end with its most famous ruler, Queen Cleopatra. During her lifetime, 6930 b.c. , the infamous queen attempted to link her land to Rome through her liaison with Julius Caesar. Their son Caesarean would have ruled over both countries, thus continuing the Egyptian blood line. However, events turned profoundly against Cleopatra when Caesar was suddenly killed and she fled back to Alexandria to commit suicide in 30 b.c. Egypt was reduced to a provincial status in the Empire, as it was ruled first from Rome and subsequently from Constantinople. The Arab Empire Egypt was caught up in the first wave of Moslem Arab expansion in the 630s (a.d. ), less than ten years after the death of the prophet Mohamed. His teachings were encapsulated in the Koran and they fired the,previously disparate Arab tribes to spread the word of Allah. Egypt became one of the most influential Arab states, especially when, in the mid-9th century, a more powerful Arab forcethe Fatimidsswept across Egypt from the west. They established a capital called Al-Qahirathe City of Victoryknown to the modern world as Cairo. Over the next two centuries, Cairo became a center of culture and learning that was unsurpassed in the Islamic world with the establishment of the renowned El-Azhar University and mosque. In 1169 the Fatimids were crushed by the armies of Saladinalready flush with victories in Palestine and Syriawho established the Ayyubid Dynasty and created the fortified citadel to protect Cairo. However Ayyubid control was weak and power was usurped by their Turkish slaves, called mamelukes, who succeeded in founding a dynasty that lasted from 1251 to 1517. In Cairo they built vast palaces and ornate mosques, and expanded the influence of the great Khan el-Khalili market to expand Egypts trading power. Mameluke power was taken by Ottoman Turks in 1517, but little changed on a day-to-day basis as the Turks preferred to use local people to control their more remote dominions. They appointed an overall governor,or Pasha,who then organized the country to his own liking with mameluke help. Egypt became a backwater, even more so as the Ottoman Empire went into chronic terminal decline in the 18th century, with a series of crises that local mamelukes were unable to control. As Ottoman control weakened, Egypt became a pawn in a larger game. In 1798 a young Napoleon Bonaparte, eager to curtail growing British power, arrived in Egypt and after a short and decisive battle claimed the country for France. He set about forming a ruling body, and sent scholars and artists out into the countryside to explore and record its ancient treasuresthus sparking the great interest in Egyptology among scholars in France and the rest of Western Europe. His stay was short-lived however; the British fleet were after him and inflicted a devastating defeat on the French Navy at the battle of Aboukir later the same year. Napoleon went home to claim victory but he had to leave the bulk of his army behind. Meanwhile an Ottoman force had been dispatched from Istanbul to counter the French. They were led by Mohammed Ali, a brilliant intellect who, in the aftermath of the French withdrawal, asked to be appointed Pasha of Egypt. The Ottoman Sultan agreed to his request and he set about establishing his power base. In 1811 Mohamed organized a grand banquet and called all the notable mamelukes to attend. Once they were all at his compound he had them massacredtheir influence had come to a sudden, bloody end. Mohammed Ali had a vision for his new domain. He admired western military tactics and set about modernizing the army and navy. Agriculture and commerce were brought up-to-date and cotton was introduced as a commercial crop. Cairo saw a rash of new building that expanded the citys boundaries. The new ruler grew wealthy and powerful, twice declaring war on his sovereign and almost beating the sizeable but dissolute Ottoman army. Istanbul was forced to recognize this powerful thorn in its side as a semi-autonomous part of the empire, and granted hereditary status to the role of Pasha of Egypt. Later the title was upgraded to khedive, the equivalent of Viceroy. The House of Mohammed Ali, however, ultimately failed to live up to its founders great achievements, as the ruling body increasingly grew to be corrupt and recklessly irresponsible. The one great feat that was achieved during their sovereignty, though, was the creation of the Suez Canal, an engineering marvel of its day that opened with great aplomb in 1869. The Khedive Ismael had extravagant plans for numerous great works that were to be financed by Western European powers, but when he became stuck in a financial quagmire, they insisted on bringing in their own advisors to control key institutions. The British soon had an unassailable grip on Egyptian politics and commerce. The 20th Century As European power-brokering turned into World War I, Egypt became vital to the British, being close to the enemy Ottoman heartland, and allowing quick passage through the Suez Canal to her dominions in India, the Far East, Australia, and New Zealand. When the Ottoman Empire crumbled in the aftermath of the war, Egypt declared itself an independent kingdom, but real power remained in London. A strong independence party, the Wafd, gained political power during the 1920s and became a prominent force throughout the next few decades. In World War II Hitler and Mussolini recognized that the Suez Canal was vital to British plans, and Egyptalong with the rest of North Africabecame an important field of battle. Axis forces were at one point only 150 miles from Cairo but Allied soldiers finally gained the upper hand following the British victory at El Alemain in 1942, and Egypt remained firmly in British hands for the rest of the war. Post-war politics brought a new set of problems. The new Jewish state of Israel founded on land so recently Islamic Palestine sent shock waves through the Arab world and Egypt found itself at the center of a bloody defeat in 1948 when it stood up against its new neighbor. King Farouk, who had come to the throne in 1936, was seen as a playboy with a love of luxurious living. When he attempted to restore national pride by wresting the Suez Canal out of British hands he suffered an embarrassing diplomatic defeat and, at home, unrest turned to opposition. In June 1952 a group of high-ranking military officers declared a military coup. Led by Colonel Gamal Abdel Nasser, they drove Farouk into exile and nationalized the Suez Canal. Nasser was to rule for 17 years during which, with Soviet help, Egypt embarked on a huge modernization program. Chief among its projects was the Aswan High Dam, which provided hydroelectricity to the population and freed the country from the scourge of the annual river flood, bringing security to the highly populated Nile Delta. Anwar el-Sadat succeeded Nasser in 1970. He was not as charismatic as Nassar and, though he had a more moderate stance, became embroiled in several unsuccessful short wars with Israel that severely weakened the country and left the Sinai region in Israeli hands. Limited success in 1973 restored some national pride when the Sinai was returned, but Sadat was aware that his country could be bled dry if the conflict continued. In 1979 Egypt became the first Arab state to recognize the state of Israelother Arab states were aghast and internal opposition to Sadat grew. In 1981 he was assassinated by an army officer while taking the salute at a military parade. Since then Hosny Mubarak has been Egypts president. He has worked hard to find a place for Egypt at the negotiation table, acting as a moderator and offering Cairo as a venue for Arab/Israeli peace talks throughout the 80s and 90s. Mubaraks pragmatic approach has earned him many admirers, but also some enemiesnot least among them, extremists within his own country. During the 1990s they made numerous attempts to de-stabilize his regime, finally resorting to attacking the mainstay of the Egyptian economytourism and several despicable attacks on foreign visitors resulted in over 60 deaths. A number of trials are said to have put the instigators in prison and security measures have been enhanced, but their actions did a great deal of damage from which Egypt will be slow to recover. Tourism numbers fell dramatically but are now rising again as visitors grow more confident. Meanwhile the vast majority of ordinary Egyptians, who offer a warm welcome to tourists, put their faith in Allah for an upturn in their economic fortunes. a brief History Humans inhabited the Balearic archipelago as early as 5000 b.c. , having most likely journeyed to the islands from the coast of mainland Spain. Neolithic islanders lived in caves and rock shelters, examples of which can still be seen on both Mallorca and Menorca, and hunted the only large animal on the islands, a type of mountain goat, now extinct. Many of the Balearic Islands are strewn with rocks and boulders, and these early peoples built simple stone houses and cleared fields by piling the stones into dividing walls. Another skill with stones was evident in the islanders deadly use of the sling, which brought them onto the world stage and into written history. Indeed, the name Balearic may come from the Greek ballein, to throw. The Carthaginians absorbed the islands into their trading empire and founded the main ports, but they quickly learned to respect the slingers, eventually recruiting thousands into their armies. By 123 b.c. the Romans had pacified most of Spain and sent out an invading force. Having conquered the islands, they named them Balearis Major(Mallorca) and Balearis Minor(Menorca). The Romans built roads and established towns, including the towns of Palmaria (Palma) and Pollentia (near present-day Alcdia). In the fifth century, as the Empire crumbled, tribes called barbarians by the RomansGoths, Vandals and Visigothspoured into Spain. The Vandals, who destroyed almost all evidence of the Roman occupation, settled in North Africa, becoming a sea power. A Byzantine expedition from Constantinople ousted the Vandals from the Balearics in 534. The Tide of Islam Ignited in the Arabian peninsula by the teachings of the Prophet Muhammad, Islam spread like wildfire, with its armies reaching the Atlantic coast of Morocco by 683. Determined to impose their new religion in Europe, a predominantly Moorish army led by the Arab general Tarik landed on the Iberian peninsula in 711. In just seven years nearly all of Spain was under Moorish rule. The Muslim world, which reached from Baghdad to the Pyrenees, soon fragmented, with Spain becoming an independent caliphate. Under tolerant rulers, the capital city Crdoba was transformed into one of Europes greatest centers of scholarship and the arts. At first the caliphs were content to accept tribute from the Balearics, without imposing Islam. But by 848 disturbances in the islands prompted the Moors to deploy their newly expanded navy; the Emir of Crdoba conquered both Mallorca and Menorca at the beginning of the tenth century. By the 11th century, the caliphate had splintered into a mosaic of fractious states26 at one point, and the Balearics became an independent emirate. The Reconquest The aim of the Crusades in Spain was the eviction of the Muslims. After the recovery of Jerusalem in 1099, it took four hundred years of sieges and battles, treaties, betrayals, and yet more battles, before Christian kings and warlords succeeded in subduing the Moors. On 10 September 1229, a Catalan army led by King Jaume I of Aragn and Catalunya took the Mallorcan shore near the present-day resort of Santa Pona. The defenders retreated inside the walls of Palma, but on the last day of 1229 the city fell, and pockets of resistance throughout the island were also defeated. Jaume I proved to be an enlightened ruler who profited from the talents of the Moorsconverted by force to Christianityas well as of the islands large Jewish and Genoese trading communities. Mallorca prospered. The Moors on Menorca speedily agreed to pay an annual tribute to Aragn and were left in peace. The islands tranquility lasted until 1287, when Alfonso III of Aragn, smarting over a series of humiliations at the hands of his nobles, found a pretext for invasion. The Moors were defeated and expelled or killed. In contrast to Mallorca, Menorcas economy was devastated for decades. Jaume I died after reigning in Aragn for six decades, but he made the cardinal error of dividing between his sons the lands he had fought for so long to unite. At first this resulted in an Independent Kingdom of Mallorca, under Jaume II, followed by San and Jaume III. But family rivalry triggered the overthrow of Jaume III by his cousin Pedro IV, who then seized the Balearics for Aragn. Attempting a comeback, Jaume was killed in battle near Llucmajor in 1349. A newly unified Christian Spain under the Catholic Monarchs, Ferdinand and Isabella, completed the Reconquest, defeating the only Moorish enclave left on the Iberian peninsula, Granada, in 1492. However, the centralized kingdom failed to incorporate the Balearics politically or economically. The Spanish Empire As one tumultuous age ended, one of glory and greed began. Christopher Columbus, the seafaring captain from Genoa (whom at least three Mallorcan towns claim as their own) believed he could reach the East Indies by sailing westwards. In the same year that Granada fell, Columbus crossed the Atlantic, landing in the Caribbean islands. Spain exported its adventurers, traders, and priests, and imposed its language, culture, and religion on the New World, creating a vast empire in the Americas. Ruthless, avaricious conquistadoresextracted and sent back incalculable riches of silver and gold. The century and a half after 1492 has been called Spains Golden Age. However, the era carried the seeds of its own decline. Plagued by corruption and incompetence, and drained of manpower and ships by such adventurism as the dispatch of the ill-fated Armada against England in 1588, Spain was unable to defend her expansive interests. Burgeoning trade in the Balearics was interrupted by marauding pirates based in North Africa as well as by the powerful Turkish fleet. French and British Ties and Occupation The daughter of Ferdinand and Isabella married the son and heir of the Holy Roman Emperor, Maximilian of Hapsburg. The Spanish crown duly passed to the Hapsburgs, and Spain remained in their hands until the feeble-minded Carlos II died in 1700, leaving no heir. France seized the chance to install the young grandson of Louis XIV on the Spanish throne. A rival Hapsburg claimant was supported by Austria and Britain, who saw a powerful Spanish-French alliance as a major threat. In the subsequent War of the Spanish Succession (17021713) most of the old kingdom of Aragn, including the Balearics, backed the Hapsburgs. Britain seized Gibraltarin the name of the Hapsburg claimantand retained it when the war was over. In 1708 Britain captured Menorca, and the magnificent harbor of Mahn (Ma), for the Royal Navy. England clung to it even when Bourbon forces captured Mallorca at the end of the war. Menorca changed hands between Britain, France, and Spain five more times in less than a century. Britain finally ceded the island to Spain in the year 1802, under the terms of the Treaty of Amiens. By 1805, Spain was once more aligned with France, and Spanish ships fought alongside the French against Nelson at Trafalgar. Napoleon came to distrust his Spanish ally and forcibly replaced the king of Spain with his own brother, Joseph Bonaparte. A French army marched in to subdue the country. The Spanish resisted and, aided by British troops commanded by the Duke of Wellington, drove the French out. What British historians call the Peninsular War (18081814) is known in Spain as the War of Independence. In the 19th century, practically all of Spains possessions in the Americas broke away in the wake of the Napoleonic Wars, and the few that remained were lost at the end of the 19th century. The Balearics, further neglected, were beset with poverty and outbreaks of disease. However, toward the 20th century, things began to improve on the islands, with Mallorca reaping the rewards of successful agricultural crops and Menorca launching an export shoe industry. The beginning of the 20th century in Spain was marked by still more crises, assassinations, and near anarchy. The colonial war in Morocco provided an almost welcome distraction, but a disastrous defeat there in 1921 led to a coup in which the general Primo de Rivera became dictator. The dictator fell in 1929, and when the elections of 1931 revealed massive anti-royalist feeling in Spains cities, the king followed him into exile. The Republic and Civil War The new republic was conceived amid an orgy of strikes, church-burnings, and uprisings of the right and left. In February 1936 te left-wing Popular Front won a majority of seats in the Cortes, but across Spain new extremes of violence displaced argument. In July 1936, most of the army, led by General Francisco Francowith the support of the monarchists, conservatives, the clergy, and the right-wing Falangerose against the government in Madrid. Aligned on the governments side were the Republicans, including liberals, socialists, Communists, and anarchists. The ensuing Spanish Civil War was brutal and bitter, and support for both sides poured in from outside Spain. Many saw it as a contest between democracy and dictatorship, or, from the other side, between order and Red chaos. Fascist Italy and Nazi Germany backed Francos Nationalists, while the Soviet Union supported the Republicans (although less and less towards the end of the war). Volunteers from Britain and the US arrived to fight on the side of the Republicans. The war lasted three years; perhaps one million Spaniards lost their lives. Mallorca and Menorca found themselves on opposite sides during the war. Menorca declared itself for the republic, and stayed with it to the bitter end. Mallorcas garrison seized it for Francos Nationalists. Early in the war, the Republicans used their one battleship to support an invasion of Mallorca, but it ended in failure. A decisive factor was the presence in Palma of Italian air squadrons, used to bomb republican Barcelona. New Horizons Exhausted after the Civil War, Spain remained on the sidelines during World War II and began to recover economically under the oppressive, law-and-order regime of Franco. There had been a foretaste of elite foreign tourism in the 1920s, but it was the late 1950s when the rest of Europe began sun-seeking pilgrimages to Spain. Tourism exploded into an annual southern migration, transforming the Spanish economy, landscape, and society. Eager to capitalize, the country poured its soul into mass tourism, which triggered a rash of indiscriminate building on the southern and eastern coastlines, with scant regard for tradition or aesthetics. But after so many years closed off from the rest of Europe, of equal significance was the injection of foreign influences into Francos once hermetically sealed Spain. Mallorca and Menorca in particular saw explosive growth in tourism; by the 1970s, the Balearics were one of Europes most popular holiday destinations. Franco named as his successor the grandson of Alfonso XIII, who was enthroned as King Juan Carlos I when the dictator died in 1975. To the dismay of Franco diehards, the king brilliantly managed the transition to democracy, then stood back to allow it full rein, even intervening during a brief attempt at a military coup. After many years of repression, new freedoms and autonomy were granted to Spanish regions, including the Balearics, and their languages and cultures enjoyed a long-desired renaissance. More a part of Europe than ever before, Spain joined the European Community (now European Union) in 1986, giving further boost to a booming economy. The tourist industry continued to expand, and though it became one of the top two income earners in Spain, a realization that unrestricted mass tourism was leading to damaging long-term consequences also began to grow. By the late 1990s, a new emphasis on quality and, especially in the Balearics, on safeguarding the environment had finally taken roottoo late for many environmentalists, but hopefully still in time to preserve much of the natural beauty and unique character of the Las Islas Baleares. Associated Press Justice requests filing surcharge to fund legal aid for poor Wednesday, January 15, 2003 OLYMPIA (AP) - The Washington Supreme Court is asking the Legislature to approve a $90 surcharge on a court filing fee to help provide legal help for the poor in civil cases, Chief Justice Gerry Alexander said Wednesday. "Some might say, why should we support this when we face tough financial times?" Alexander asked in his State of the Judiciary address to a joint session of the Legislature. "It seems to me in America, where we rejoice in the fact that we are a nation devoted to the rule of law, we should not ration access to justice." The recommendation comes from the court's Task Force on Civil Equal Justice Funding, created in 2001 to look for ways to cope with the sparse amount of money available for such cases. As the task force was studying the issue, $900,000 was cut from state support for civil equal justice services. That prompted the state's two main legal services providers - Columbia Legal Services and Northwest Justice Project - to cut their staffs, Alexander said. The change would increase the cost of filing a lawsuit in Superior Court to $200. The total fee would be split, with 54 percent going to counties and 46 percent going to the state for a newly created equal justice account. Alexander also requested money for five additional Superior Court judgeships and one additional District Court judgeships, arguing that increased caseloads require more judges. Two of the Superior Court judges and the District Court judge would be in Clark County, with one Superior Court judge added in the joint district that serves Benton and Franklin counties and one each in Kittitas and Kitsap counties. SUPREME COURT OF THE UNITED STATES Nos. 99-603 and 99-960 LEGAL SERVICES CORPORATION, PETITIONER 99-603 v. CARMEN VELAZQUEZ ET AL. UNITED STATES, PETITIONER 99-960 v. CARMEN VELAZQUEZ ET AL. ON WRITS OF CERTIORARI TO THE UNITED STATES COURT OF APPEALS FOR THE SECOND CIRCUIT [February 28, 2001] JUSTICE SCALIA, with whom THE CHIEF JUSTICE, JUSTICE O'CONNOR, and JUSTICE THOMAS join, dissenting. Section 504(a)(16) of the Omnibus Consolidated Rescissions and Appropriations Act of 1996 (Appropriations Act) defines the scope of a federal spending program. It does not directly regulate speech, and it neither establishes a public forum nor discriminates on the basis of viewpoint. The Court agrees with all this, yet applies a novel and unsupportable interpretation of our public-forum precedents to declare 504(a)(16) facially unconstitutional. This holding not only has no foundation in our jurisprudence; it is flatly contradicted by a recent decision that is on all fours with the present case. Having found the limitation upon the spending program unconstitutional, the Court then declines to consider the question of severability, allowing a judgment to stand that lets the program go forward under a version of the statute Congress never enacted. I respectfully dissent from both aspects of the judgment. I The Legal Services Corporation Act of 1974 (LSC Act), 42 U. S. C. 2996 et seq., is a federal subsidy program, the stated purpose of which is to "provid[e] financial support for legal assistance in noncriminal proceedings or matters to persons financially unable to afford legal assistance." 2996b(a). Congress, recognizing that the program could not serve its purpose unless it was "kept free from the influence of or use by it of political pressures," 2996(5), has from the program's inception tightly regulated the use of its funds. See ante, at 3. No Legal Services Corporation (LSC) funds may be used, for example, for "encouraging . . . labor or antilabor activities," 2996f(b)(6), for "litigation relating to the desegregation of any elementary or secondary school or school system," 2996f(b)(9), or for "litigation which seeks to procure a nontherapeutic abortion," 2996f(b)(8). Congress discovered through experience, however, that these restrictions did not exhaust the politically controversial uses to which LSC funds could be put. Accordingly, in 1996 Congress added new restrictions to the LSC Act and strengthened existing restrictions. Among the new restrictions is the one at issue here. Section 504(a)(16) of the Appropriations Act, 110 Stat. 1321- 55 to 1321-56, withholds LSC funds from every entity that "participates in any . . . way . . . in litigation, lobbying, or rulemaking . . . involving an effort to reform a Federal or State welfare system." It thus bans LSC-funded entities from participating on either side of litigation involving such statutes, from participating in rulemaking relating to the implementation of such legislation, and from lobbying Congress itself regarding any proposed changes to such legislation. See 45 CFR 1639.3 (2000). The restrictions relating to rulemaking and lobbying are superfluous; they duplicate general prohibitions on the use of LSC funds for those activities found elsewhere in the Appropriations Act. See 504(a)(2), (3), (4). The restriction on litigation, however, is unique, and it contains a proviso specifying what the restriction does not cover. Funding recipients may "represen[t] an individual eligible client who is seeking specific relief from a welfare agency if such relief does not involve an effort to amend or otherwise challenge existing law in effect on the date of the initiation of the representation." The LSC declares in its brief, and respondents do not deny, that under these provisions the LSC can sponsor neither challenges to nor defenses of existing welfare reform law, Brief for Petitioner in No. 99-603, p. 29. The litigation ban is symmetrical: Litigants challenging the covered statutes or regulations do not receive LSC funding, and neither do litigants defending those laws against challenge. If a suit for benefits raises a claim outside the scope of the LSC program, the LSC-funded lawyer may not participate in the suit. As the Court explains, if LSC-funded lawyers anticipate that a forbidden claim will arise in a prospective client's suit, they "may not undertake [the] representation," ante, at 9. Likewise, if a forbidden claim arises unexpectedly at trial, "LSC-funded attorney[s] must cease the representation at once," ante, at 10. See also Brief for Petitioner in No. 99-603, at 7, n. 4 (if the issue arises at trial, "the lawyer should discontinue the representation 'consistent with the applicable rules of professional responsibility'"). The lawyers may, however, and indeed must explain to the client why they cannot represent him. See 164 F. 3d 757, 765 (CA2 1999). They are also free to express their views of the legality of the welfare law to the client, and they may refer the client to another attorney who can accept the representation, ibid. See 985 F. Supp 323, 335-336 (EDNY 1997). II The LSC Act is a federal subsidy program, not a federal regulatory program, and "[t]here is a basic difference between [the two]." Maher v. Roe, 432 U. S. 464, 475 (1977). Regulations directly restrict speech; subsidies do not. Subsidies, it is true, may indirectly abridge speech, but only if the funding scheme is "'manipulated' to have a 'coercive effect'" on those who do not hold the subsidized position. National Endowment for Arts v. Finley, 524 U. S. 569, 587 (1998) (quoting Arkansas Writers' Project, Inc. v. Ragland, 481 U. S. 221, 237 (1987) (SCALIA, J., dissenting)). Proving unconstitutional coercion is difficult enough when the spending program has universal coverage and excludes only certain speech- such as a tax exemption scheme excluding lobbying expenses. The Court has found such programs unconstitutional only when the exclusion was "aimed at the suppression of dangerous ideas." Speiser v. Randall, 357 U. S. 513, 519 (1958) (internal quotation marks omitted); see also Regan v. Taxation With Representation of Wash., 461 U. S. 540, 550 (1983). Proving the requisite coercion is harder still when a spending program is not universal but limited, providing benefits to a restricted number of recipients, see Rust v. Sullivan, 500 U. S. 173, 194-195 (1991). The Court has found such selective spending unconstitutionally coercive only once, when the government created a public forum with the spending program but then discriminated in distributing funding within the forum on the basis of viewpoint. See Rosenberger v. Rector and Visitors of Univ. of Va., 515 U. S. 819, 829-830 (1995). When the limited spending program does not create a public forum, proving coercion is virtually impossible, because simply denying a subsidy "does not 'coerce' belief," Lyng v. Automobile Workers, 485 U. S. 360, 369 (1988), and because the criterion of unconstitutionality is whether denial of the subsidy threatens "to drive certain ideas or viewpoints from the marketplace," National Endowment for Arts v. Finley, supra, at 587 (internal quotation marks omitted). Absent such a threat, "the Government may allocate . . . funding according to criteria that would be impermissible were direct regulation of speech or a criminal penalty at stake." 524 U. S., at 587-588. In Rust v. Sullivan, supra, the Court applied these principles to a statutory scheme that is in all relevant respects indistinguishable from 504(a)(16). The statute in Rust authorized grants for the provision of family planning services, but provided that "[n]one of the funds . . . shall be used in programs where abortion is a method of family planning." Id., at 178. Valid regulations implementing the statute required funding recipients to refer pregnant clients "for appropriate prenatal . . . services by furnishing a list of available providers that promote the welfare of mother and unborn child," but forbade them to refer a pregnant woman specifically to an abortion provider, even upon request. Id., at 180. We rejected a First Amendment free-speech challenge to the funding scheme, explaining that "[t]he Government can, without violating the Constitution, selectively fund a program to encourage certain activities it believes to be in the public interest, without at the same time funding an alternative program which seeks to deal with the problem another way." Id., at 193. This was not, we said, the type of "discriminat[ion] on the basis of viewpoint" that triggers strict scrutiny, ibid., because the "'decision not to subsidize the exercise of a fundamental right does not infringe the right,'" ibid. (quoting Regan v. Taxation With Representation of Wash., supra, at 549). The same is true here. The LSC Act, like the scheme in Rust, see 500 U. S., at 200, does not create a public forum. Far from encouraging a diversity of views, it has always, as the Court accurately states, "placed restrictions on its use of funds," ante, at 3. Nor does 504(a)(16) discriminate on the basis of viewpoint, since it funds neither challenges to nor defenses of existing welfare law. The provision simply declines to subsidize a certain class of litigation, and under Rust that decision "does not infringe the right" to bring such litigation. Cf. Ortwein v. Schwab, 410 U. S. 656, 658-660, and n. 5 (1973) (per curiam) (government not required by First Amendment or Due Process Clause to waive filing fee for welfare benefits litigation). The Court's repeated claims that 504(a)(16) "restricts" and "prohibits" speech, see, e.g., ante, at 10, 11, and "insulates" laws from judicial review, see, e.g., ante, at 13, are simply baseless. No litigant who, in the absence of LSC funding, would bring a suit challenging existing welfare law is deterred from doing so by 504(a)(16). Rust thus controls these cases and compels the conclusion that 504(a)(16) is constitutional. The Court contends that Rust is different because the program at issue subsidized government speech, while the LSC funds private speech. See ante, at 7-8. This is so unpersuasive it hardly needs response. If the private doctors' confidential advice to their patients at issue in Rust constituted "government speech," it is hard to imagine what subsidized speech would not be government speech. Moreover, the majority's contention that the subsidized speech in these cases is not government speech because the lawyers have a professional obligation to represent the interests of their clients founders on the reality that the doctors in Rust had a professional obligation to serve the interests of their patients, see 500 U. S., at 214 (Blackmun, J., dissenting) ("ethical responsibilities of the medical profession")- which at the time of Rust we had held to be highly relevant to the permissible scope of federal regulation, see Thornburgh v. American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, 476 U. S. 747, 763 (1986) ("professional responsibilities" of physicians), overruled in part on other grounds, Planned Parenthood of Southeastern Pa. v. Casey, 505 U. S. 833 (1992). Even respondents agree that "the true speaker in Rust was not the government, but a doctor." Brief for Respondents 19, n. 17. SCALIA, J., dissenting The Court further asserts that these cases are different from Rust because the welfare funding restriction "seeks to use an existing medium of expression and to control it . . . in ways which distort its usual functioning," ante, at 8. This is wrong on both the facts and the law. It is wrong on the law because there is utterly no precedent for the novel and facially implausible proposition that the First Amendment has anything to do with government funding that- though it does not actually abridge anyone's speech- "distorts an existing medium of expression." None of the three cases cited by the Court mentions such an odd principle. In Rosenberger v. Rector and Visitors of Univ. of Va., the point critical to the Court's analysis was not, as the Court would have it, that it is part of the "usual functioning" of student newspapers to "expres[s] many different points of view," ante, at 9 (it surely is not), but rather that the spending program itself had been created "to encourage a diversity of views from private speakers," 515 U. S., at 834. What could not be distorted was the public forum that the spending program had created. As for Arkansas Ed. Television Comm'n v. Forbes, 523 U. S. 666 (1998), that case discussed the nature of television broadcasting, not to determine whether government regulation would alter its "usual functioning" and thus violate the First Amendment (no government regulation was even at issue in the case), but rather to determine whether state-owned television is a "public forum" under our First Amendment jurisprudence. Id., at 673-674. And finally, the passage the Court cites from FCC v. League of Women Voters of Cal., 468 U. S. 364, 396-397 (1984), says nothing whatever about "using the forum [of public radio] in an unconventional way to suppress speech inherent in the nature of the medium," ante, at 8-9. It discusses why the Government's asserted interest in "preventing [public radio] stations from becoming a privileged outlet for the political and ideological opinions of station owners and managers," 468 U. S., at 396 (internal quotation marks omitted), was insubstantial and thus could not justify the statute's restriction on editorializing. Even worse for the Court, after invalidating the restriction on this conventional First Amendment ground, League of Women Voters goes on to say that "[o]f course," the restriction on editorializing "would plainly be valid" if "Congress were to adopt a revised version of [the statute] that permitted [public radio] stations to establish 'affiliate' organizations which could then use the station's facilities to editorialize with nonfederal funds." Id., at 400. But of course that is the case here. Regulations permit funding recipients to establish affiliate organizations to conduct litigation and other activities that fall outside the scope of the LSC program. See 45 CFR pt. 1610 (2000). Far from supporting the Court's nondistortion analysis, League of Women Voters dooms the Court's case. The Court's "nondistortion" principle is also wrong on the facts, since there is no basis for believing that 504(a)(16), by causing "cases [to] be presented by LSC attorneys who [can]not advise the courts of serious questions of statutory validity," ante, at 11, will distort the operation of the courts. It may well be that the bar of 504(a)(16) will cause LSC-funded attorneys to decline or to withdraw from cases that involve statutory validity. But that means at most that fewer statutory challenges to welfare laws will be presented to the courts because of the unavailability of free legal services for that purpose. So what? The same result would ensue from excluding LSCfunded lawyers from welfare litigation entirely. It is not the mandated, nondistortable function of the courts to inquire into all "serious questions of statutory validity" in all cases. Courts must consider only those questions of statutory validity that are presented by litigants, and if the Government chooses not to subsidize the presentation of some such questions, that in no way "distorts" the courts' role. It is remarkable that a Court that has so studiously avoided deciding whether Congress could entirely eliminate federal jurisdiction over certain matters, see, e.g., Webster v. Doe, 486 U. S. 592, 603 (1988); Bowen v. Michigan Academy of Family Physicians, 476 U. S. 667, 681, n. 12 (1986), would be so eager to hold the much lesser step of declining to subsidize the litigation unconstitutional under the First Amendment. Nor will the judicial opinions produced by LSC cases systematically distort the interpretation of welfare laws. Judicial decisions do not stand as binding "precedent" for points that were not raised, not argued, and hence not analyzed. See, e.g., United States v. Verdugo-Urquidez, 494 U. S. 259, 272 (1990); Hagans v. Lavine, 415 U. S. 528, 533, n. 5 (1974); United States v. L. A. Tucker Truck Lines, Inc., 344 U. S. 33, 37-38 (1952); United States v. More, 3 Cranch 159, 172 (1805) (Marshall, C. J.). The statutory validity that courts assume in LSC cases will remain open for full determination in later cases. Finally, the Court is troubled "because in cases where the attorney withdraws from a representation, the client is unlikely to find other counsel." Ante, at 12. That is surely irrelevant, since it leaves the welfare recipient in no worse condition than he would have been in had the LSC program never been enacted. Respondents properly concede that even if welfare claimants cannot obtain a lawyer anywhere else, the Government is not required to provide one. Brief for Respondents 16; accord, Goldberg v. Kelly, 397 U. S. 254, 270 (1970) (government not required to provide counsel at hearing regarding termination of welfare benefits). It is hard to see how providing free legal services to some welfare claimants (those whose claims do not challenge the applicable statutes) while not providing it to others is beyond the range of legitimate legislative choice. Rust rejected a similar argument: "Petitioners contend, however, that most Title X cli SCALIA, J., dissenting ents are effectively precluded by indigency and poverty from seeing a health-care provider who will provide abortion-related services. But once again, even these Title X clients are in no worse position than if Congress had never enacted Title X. The financial constraints that restrict an indigent woman's ability to enjoy the full range of constitutionally protected freedom of choice are the product not of governmental restrictions on access to abortion, but rather of her indigency." 500 U. S., at 203 (internal quotation marks omitted). The only conceivable argument that can be made for distinguishing Rust is that there even patients who wished to receive abortion counseling could receive the nonabortion services that the Government-funded clinic offered, whereas here some potential LSC clients who wish to receive representation on a benefits claim that does not challenge the statutes will be unable to do so because their cases raise a reform claim that an LSC lawyer may not present. This difference, of course, is required by the same ethical canons that the Court elsewhere does not wish to distort. Rather than sponsor "truncated representation," ante, at 11, Congress chose to subsidize only those cases in which the attorneys it subsidized could work freely. See, e.g., 42 U. S. C. 2996(6) ("[A]ttorneys providing legal assistance must have full freedom to protect the best interests of their clients"). And it is impossible to see how this difference from Rust has any bearing upon the First Amendment question, which, to repeat, is whether the funding scheme is "'manipulated' to have a 'coercive effect'" on those who do not hold the subsidized position. National Endowment for Arts v. Finley, 524 U. S., at 587 (quoting Arkansas Writers' Project, Inc. v. Ragland, 481 U. S., at 237 (SCALIA, J., dissenting)). It could be claimed to have such an effect if the client in a case ineligible for LSC representation could eliminate the ineligibility by waiving the claim that the statute is invalid; but he cannot. No conceivable coercive effect exists. This has been a very long discussion to make a point that is embarrassingly simple: The LSC subsidy neither prevents anyone from speaking nor coerces anyone to change speech, and is indistinguishable in all relevant respects from the subsidy upheld in Rust v. Sullivan, supra. There is no legitimate basis for declaring 504(a)(16) facially unconstitutional. III Even were I to accept the Court's First Amendment analysis, I could not join its decision to conclude this litigation without reaching the issue of severability. That issue, although decided by the Second Circuit, was not included within the question on which certiorari was granted, and, as the Court points out, was not briefed or argued here. I nonetheless think it an abuse of discretion to ignore it. The Court has said that "[w]e may consider questions outside the scope of the limited order [granting certiorari] when resolution of those questions is necessary for the proper disposition of the case." Piper Aircraft Co. v. Reyno, 454 U. S. 235, 246-247, n. 12 (1981). I think it necessary to a "proper disposition" here because the statute concocted by the Court of Appeals bears little resemblance to what Congress enacted, funding without restriction welfare-benefits litigation that Congress funded only under the limitations of 504(a)(16). Although no party briefed severability in Denver Area Ed. Telecommunications Consortium, Inc. v. FCC, 518 U. S. 727 (1996), the Justices finding partial unconstitutionality considered it necessary to address the issue. Id., at 767 (plurality opinion) ("[W]e must ask whether 10(a) is severable"); accord, New York v. United States, 505 U. S. 144, 186 (1992). I think we have that same obligation here. Moreover, by exercising our "discretion" to leave the severability question open, we fail to resolve the basic, realworld dispute at issue: whether LSC attorneys may represent welfare claimants who challenge the applicable welfare laws. Indeed, we leave the LSC program subject to even a greater uncertainty than the one we purport to have eliminated, since other circuits may conclude (as I do) that if the limitation upon welfare representation is unconstitutional, LSC attorneys cannot engage in welfare litigation at all. "The inquiry into whether a statute is severable is essentially an inquiry into legislative intent." Minnesota v. Mille Lacs Band of Chippewa Indians, 526 U. S. 172, 191 (1999). If Congress "would not have enacted those provisions which are within its power, independently of that which is not," then courts must strike the provisions as a piece. Alaska Airlines, Inc. v. Brock, 480 U. S. 678, 684 (1987) (internal quotation marks omitted). One determines what Congress would have done by examining what it did. Perhaps the most that can be said on the subject is contained in a passage written by Chief Justice Shaw of the Supreme Judicial Court of Massachusetts that we have often quoted: "[I]f [a statute's provisions] are so mutually connected with and dependent on each other, as conditions, considerations or compensations for each other, as to warrant a belief that the legislature intended them as a whole, and that, if all could not be carried into effect, the legislature would not pass the residue independently, and some parts are unconstitutional, all the provisions which as thus dependent, conditional or connected, must fall with them." Warren v. Mayor and Aldermen of Charlestown, 68 Mass. 84, 99 (1854). It is clear to me that the LSC Act's funding of welfare benefits suits and its prohibition on suits challenging or defending the validity of existing law are "conditions, considerations [and] compensations for each other" that cannot be severed. Congress through the LSC Act intended "to provide high quality legal assistance to those who would be otherwise unable to afford adequate legal counsel," 42 U. S. C. 2996(2), but only if the program could at the same time "be kept free from the influence of or use by it of political pressures," 2996(5). More than a dozen times in 504(a) Congress made the decision that certain activities could not be funded at all without crippling the LSC program with political pressures. See, e.g., 504(a)(1) (reapportionment litigation); 504(a)(4) (local, state, and federal lobbying); 504(a)(7) (class action lawsuits); 504(a)(12) (training programs for, inter alia, boycotts, picketing, and demonstrations); 504(a)(14) (litigation with respect to abortion). The severability question here is, essentially, whether, without the restriction that the Court today invalidates, the permission for conducting welfare litigation would have been accorded. As far as appears from the best evidence (which is the structure of the statute), I think the answer must be no. We have in some cases stated that when an "excepting proviso is found unconstitutional the substantive provisions which it qualifies cannot stand," for "to hold otherwise would be to extend the scope of the law . . . so as to embrace [situations] which the legislature passing the statute had, by its very terms, expressly excluded." Frost v. Corporation Comm'n of Okla., 278 U. S. 515, 525 (1929); see also Davis v. Wallace, 257 U. S. 478, 484 (1922) ("Where an excepting provision in a statute is found unconstitutional, courts very generally hold that this does not work an enlargement of the scope or operation of other provisions with which that provision was enacted, and which it was intended to qualify or restrain"). I frankly doubt whether this approach has been followed consistently enough to be called the "general" rule, but if there were ever an instance in which it is appropriate it is here. To strike the restriction on welfare benefits suits is to void 504(a)(16) altogether. Subsection (a)(16) prohibits involvement in three types of activities with respect to welfare reform: lobbying, rulemaking, and litigation. But the proscriptions against using LSC funds to participate in welfare lobbying and rulemaking are superfluous, since as described above subsections (a)(2), (a)(3), and (a)(4) of 504 withhold LSC funds from those activities generally. What is unique about subsection (a)(16)- the only thing it achieves- is its limit on litigation. To remove that limit is to repeal subsection (a)(16) altogether, and thus to eliminate a significant quid pro quo of the legislative compromise. We have no authority to "rewrite [the] statute and give it an effect altogether different" from what Congress agreed to. Railroad Retirement Bd. v. Alton R. Co., 295 U. S. 330, 362 (1935) (quoted in Carter v. Carter Coal Co., 298 U. S. 238, 313 (1936)). *** It is illuminating to speculate how these cases would have been decided if Congress had enacted 504(a)(16) without its proviso (prescribing only the general ban against "litigation, lobbying, or rulemaking, involving an effort to reform a Federal or State welfare system"), and if the positions of the parties before us here were reversed. If the LSC-funded lawyers were here arguing that the statute permitted representation of individual welfare claimants who did not challenge existing law, I venture to say that the Court would endorse their argument- perhaps with stirring language about the importance of aid to welfare applicants and the Court's unwillingness to presume without clear indication that Congress would want to eliminate it. And I have little doubt that in that context SCALIA, J., dissenting the Court would find its current First Amendment musings as unpersuasive as I find them today. Today's decision is quite simply inexplicable on the basis of our prior law. The only difference between Rust and the present case is that the former involved "distortion" of (that is to say, refusal to subsidize) the normal work of doctors, and the latter involves "distortion" of (that is to say, refusal to subsidize) the normal work of lawyers. The Court's decision displays not only an improper special solicitude for our own profession; it also displays, I think, the very fondness for "reform through the courts"- the making of innumerable social judgments through judgepronounced constitutional imperatives- that prompted Congress to restrict publicly funded litigation of this sort. The Court says today, through an unprecedented (and indeed previously rejected) interpretation of the First Amendment, that we will not allow this restriction- and then, to add insult to injury, permits to stand a judgment that awards the general litigation funding that the statute does not contain. I respectfully dissent. Legal Aid attorney heeds call to serve December 30, 2002 Depictions of lawyers in American pop culture are notoriously unkind. Whether castigating them on the silver screen, between the lines of pulpy, true-crime narratives, or in the jokes told around the proverbial water cooler, attorneys have been on the receiving end of many a hackneyed punch line. One Roseburg attorney is doing her best to refute the cultural stereotype, however. Legal Aid attorney Sharon Lee Schwartz knew when she entered law school at Georgetown University that she wanted to use her training to help others. "A reason I went to law school was to do social justice work," Schwartz said recently. "I get paid to make the community a better place for vulnerable people -- and I like that." Schwartz grew up in Charlotte, N.C. She earned a bachelor's degree in English literature from Davidson College before heading to Georgetown for her law degree, where she finished in 1993. "When I was in school I really liked Virginia Woolf," Schwartz said of her nascent literary tastes. "Right now what I read is nonfiction. "I've been reading a lot about Buddhism," she added. "I just sort of call it my peace studies program -- any author that I think has ideas (as to) how people can live together without killing each other, that's what I like to read." Schwartz replaced former Legal Aid attorney Lori Rubenstein at the Roseburg office in 1996, although she initially interviewed for the position in 1994. During that two-year interim, she worked for Legal Aid on a reservation in South Dakota practicing family, tribal and housing law. Legal Aid is a nonprofit national organization aimed at providing low-cost or free legal aid to those who need it. A South Dakota blizzard six years ago prompted her to call the Roseburg office, which, coincidentally, was in the process of trying to find her to fill the vacancy left by Rubenstein's departure. Schwartz said her job keeps her involved in the community -- and allows her to sleep with a sound conscience. "Just because there's so much more demand for our services than we can actually meet, once we actually take a case we always feel like we're on the right side," she said. For the time being, however, both her sleep and her job may have to suffer some periodic disturbance. Schwartz and her husband, Scott Cohan, welcomed their first child into their lives last week, Sophia Clare Cohan. "It's wonderful," said the new mother. "I mean, it's really, really fun." Schwartz plans to take maternity leave until the end of January. Rounding out the attorney's other full-time roles as mother to her child and legal ally to the poor is that of amateur artist. "I guess I've sold a few things," Schwartz said, but "mostly I just make things for myself. "I just finished a stained glass window that I've been working on for four years ... I paint the walls of my house all different colors and patterns and things like that." Schwartz has also tried her hand at sculpting clay -- and her welding torch at sculpting steel. "I just want to make things that are interesting to look at," she said. "I can't say that my art's intended to give any particular message." Asked how she and her husband manage to juggle so many competing demands upon their time, Schwartz replied, "we don't watch TV." Schwartz tries to limit herself to a normal eight-hour work day, she said, in spite of a heavy demand for indigent legal services in the community. "I figured out early on that I could work around the clock and still meet only a fraction of the need," Schwartz said. Charleston Gazette Legal Aid campaign fourth of the way to fund-raising goal Paul J. Nyden Thursday, December 12, 2002 Legal Aid of West Virginia announced Wednesday that it has already raised $300,000 toward a three-year goal of $1.2 million to help its work defending the rights of poor people. Adrienne Worthy, executive director of Legal Aid, said her agency will receive $400,000 less in federal funds in 2003, because the 2000 Census found 30,000 fewer poor people in West Virginia. "We cannot meet our needs with previous federal funding levels, especially since the economy has worsened since the census was completed," she said. Today, West Virginia has more than 315,000 poor people, or 18 percent of the state's entire population. Nearly one of every four children lives in a household whose income falls below federal poverty levels. More than 31,000 elderly West Virginians also live in poverty. A pamphlet being distributed by the new Campaign for Legal Aid points out, "There is only one Le gal Aid lawyer for every 7,900 poor persons in West Virginia. This compares to about one attorney for every 368 persons in the general population." The two co-chairmen of the campaign are lawyers Al Emch of Jackson Kelly and Scott Segal of the Segal Law Firm. Emch said on Wednesday, "I have a lot of confidence in lawyers in West Virginia, who are professionally responsible and understand the importance of this project. Everyone has a stake in making our justice system accessible and fair." Segal said raising money to help Legal Aid is critical "to help battered women, people transferring from welfare to jobs in the economy, and the elderly. It is important to guarantee everyone access to justice in the state." Last year, Legal Aid helped more than 9,500 poor people in West Virginia. Individuals helped by Legal Aid include: a young mother and her children being abused by a violent spouse, a severely disabled child in need of medical care, a young woman who needed more time in vocational training to escape welfare, and a woman suffering from dementia in a nursing home whose husband was trying to strip her of her financial assets. Last year, Legal Aid spent $387 for work on its average case. The cost to provide each hour of legal services was $23. Legal Aid also works closely with local community organizations, state and local Bar associations, social workers and local government agencies. Major contributors include: Jackson Kelly; the Segal Law Firm; Bowles, Rice, McDavid, Graff & Love; Spilman, Thomas & Battle; Bordas & Bordas; DiTrapano, Barrett & DiPiero; the West Virginia State Bar; and Hill, Peterson, Carper, Bee & Deitzler. Anyone interested in contributing to Legal Aid's fund-raising drive may contact them at 922 Quarrier St., Charleston, WV 25301. People may also call 343-3013 or (800) 642-8279. Maryland's Legal Aid Bureau: A national leader. Saturday, January 4, 2003 When it comes to nationally ranked institutions in Maryland, several come to mind: the Terps, the Johns Hopkins University and the Baltimore Symphony, just to name a few. Here's another one to add to the list Co the Legal Aid Bureau, founded in 1911 and today recognized nationally for its leadership in providing civil legal services to the poor. "In terms of delivery of service, innovation, and diversity in leadership, the Legal Aid Bureau is in the forefront of programs around the country that promote access to justice," said Martha Bergmark, senior vice president for projects at the National Legal Aid and Defender Association in Washington, D.C. "Maryland has a lot to trumpet," Bergmark added. "The Legal Aid Bureau has become a lead player in the justice community by building partnerships with other organizations, the courts and the mediaCoall critical components to make justice available to all in Maryland." John A. Tull, a private consultant in Colorado who has worked with legal services organizations for more than 30 years and is a former vice president of the national Legal Services Corp., said Legal Aid "really stands out for its remarkable sense of commitment to make a difference in the lives of its clients." That's particularly noteworthy because of the tenor of the times for legal services, Tull added, noting that funding concerns and Congressional restrictions could dampen zealous and creative advocacy. For academic recognition, you don't have to go far. "Legal Aid now offers some of the most creative services for legal aid found across the country," said Michael A. Millemann, a law professor at the University of Maryland and a former deputy director of the Multnomah County, Ore., Legal Aid Service. "It has state-of-the-art intake and has recruited some excellent lawyers to its staff." A private, nonprofit law firm with 13 offices around Maryland, the Legal Aid Bureau boasts a $15 million annual budget, nearly 300 employees (more than 140 are lawyers) and handles more than 50,000 cases a year. The Bureau, headquartered in Baltimore, is the cornerstone of civil legal services in the state. The person responsible for propelling the Bureau into the front rank of legal service providers nationally was executive director Charles H. Dorsey Jr., who led the organization from 1974 until his death in 1995. Under Dorsey Co who grew up in segregated Baltimore, was the first black graduate of Loyola College and the first black attorney to serve on the state Board of Law Examiners Co the Bureau expanded into a statewide law firm that reached out to the rural as well as urban poor. Dorsey was also a driving force behind Legal Aid's downtown Baltimore headquarters, the first in the U.S. specifically designed and built to house a legal services operation. Building on the foundation established by Dorsey is Wilhelm H. Joseph Jr., who became executive director in 1996. Millemann, who worked at Legal Aid for three years beginning in the late 1960s, said Joseph "has exceeded my expectations of what's possible by 500 percent. He's attracted good people, generated enthusiasm, and gained the respect of the bar and the law schools." One indication of that success is funding. To raise money from the private bar, Joseph created the Equal Justice Council, spearheaded today by retired Piper Rudnick managing partner Decatur H. Miller. The result? Since 1996 Legal Aid has increased its annual revenue by $6 million, renovated all of its offices and increased staff salaries Co which helps explain why 7 out of 13 chief (or managing) attorneys around the state are former Legal Aid lawyers who returned after stints in private or government practice. The beneficiaries of the improvements are Legal Aid's clients, who include residents of subsidized and public housing, the elderly, migrant farm workers, and neglected and abused children. Examples of this bread-and-butter work include highly contentious custody disputes, cases involving sub-standard housing and loss of shelter, and the loss of disability and other health benefits, to name a few. The Bureau's major objectives are to increase economic stability of its clients, preserve affordable housing, and stabilize families and communities. Yet the Bureau's efforts go beyond helping individual clients. Those objectives include making changes in systems that affect the poor. For example, one ongoing project (funded by the Abell Foundation) works to decrease employment barriers to 45,000 non-custodial fathers in Baltimore whose child-support obligations (especially money owed to the state) exceed their ability to pay. "Current child support policies are driving many of them out of the above-ground economy," said Hannah E. M. Lieberman, the Bureau's director of advocacy. "Without change, we're consigning another generation to entrenched poverty." Another example: housing preservation. Under a three-year, $450,000 grant from the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development, Legal Aid is helping thousands of low-income Marylanders living in properties where federal subsidies are about to run out. In Annapolis, the Bureau's 20-year representation of the Bloomsbury public housing project resulted in a victory that will result in the relocation of residents Co many of them elderly and disabled Co to new waterfront housing that will keep the last black neighborhood in the city intact. "Instead of moving to a remote area far from jobs, shopping, schools and public transportation, the residents will move a block to new housing that will conform to historic-area building standards on a former parking lot on College Creek," said Janet LaBella, chief attorney of the Bureau's Anne Arundel County office. While Legal Aid's efforts historically have been aimed at helping the poorest of the poor Co because of funding limitations, only about 20 percent of eligible potential clients are served Co some recent technological innovations will also help meet the civil legal needs of both low- and moderate-income folks. In partnership with the Maryland Legal Assistance Network, a project of the Maryland Legal Services Corp., the Bureau is developing a centralized intake and referral system for all legal service providers around the state Co in other words, a legal hotline with onestop shopping. The effort, now in the final months of a $1 million grant received by MLSC three years ago from George Soros' Open Society Institute to create a national demonstration project, is the largest foundation grant ever to a state legal services organization. Other MLAN projects include a Web site for the general public called the Peoples Law Library (www.peoples-law.org) that increases public access to legal information and legal pro se assistance for a variety of common legal problems. Another Web site, www.MDJustice.org, assists legal services and private pro bono lawyers to better serve low- and moderate-income clients. The bottom line? It's Legal Aid's commitment to justice. "We at the Bureau have the most exciting and satisfying jobs in the world," said Joseph, the Bureau's executive director. "In a society that stresses individual achievement Co where you pull yourself up by your bootstraps Co the Legal Aid Bureau helps those without boots. "By providing access to justice to tens of thousands of Marylanders each year, Legal Aid attorneys and support staff bring equity and stability to society." Robert J. Rhudy is executive director of the Maryland Legal Services Corp. He can be reached at rhudy@mlsc.org. Joe Surkiewicz is the director of communications at the Legal Aid Bureau. His email is jsurkiewicz@mdlab.org. Hi. My name is Chris O'Connor. And um, I'm a host-family, person for Hye-Jin. And I'm, I'm, um, I'm honored um, to participate in the project. Um, what I would like to do is explain to Hye-Jin an experience I had, um, as, as a young child, uh, something that um, has stayed to me really all of my life and is especially meaningful now that I live in the South. Because I was born in the North, I was raised in the North I, you know, truly am, um, I consider myself a northern American, um, and quite by surprise um, we came to live in Charlotte two and a half years ago, um, mainly for work reasons. Both my husband and I had lost our jobs in the North. So, we came south, because this is where the jobs are and fortunately, we were able to get work and re-located here. So, this is two and a half years later, and my husband and I are employed in the public schools in Charlotte. My husband is a teacher, and I'm a counselor. And um, we find ourselves in a very diverse school, which is all good uh, we find ourselves um, working with many many more uh, black or Afro-American people than we were ever exposed in the North. And that has um, made me remember um, that when I was in um, the second grade, I was seven years old. And I was um, growing up in the North in Wilmington, DE. And my father was transferred to Pensacola, FL. And we had never lived in the South before, except for one other brief, brief time I should say we had lived in Camden, SC um, where act, actually one of my brothers was born. But when I was seven, we moved to Pensacola, FL, and um, we, there were four children, and we were enrolled in a Catholic school, because my parents were Catholics, and um, they wanted us to go to the Catholic schools in the South. So, I went to, I was in the second grade, and I went to Sacred Heart School in Pensacola, FL. And I became friendly. Um, I made friends. And two of my very good girl friends when I was in second grade, their names were Patricia Callahan, and Linda Emanuel. And their families, their parents were southern born and bred. But um, in time we became very close friends, and then to our childhood friendships, our parents became good friends. So, most of our social life was spent visiting back and forth in each other's homes, and our parents would have dinner together and they would get together, and have parties, and they really had a wonderful time. And um, as time wore on and our families and our parents became better acquainted, I can imagine that my parents really being the only northern born and bred people began to see the differences in their attitudes, uh, in their racial attitudes as opposed to the attitudes of their friends and by that I mean um, my parents had been raised in the North, and there were never um, very many black people around. But they were never raised with any prejudice. I guess I can say they were Christian, they were Catholic um, I don't believe um, they really had any predisposition or any prejudice toward black people. And I think that when they moved to the South and they saw the prejudice of their good friends. I think it really uh, really bothered them to the point that they wanted to make sure that their own children did not grow up with those prejudices. And I can give you a good example. Now, it was very common, when I was seven years old and I was the oldest of the four children, um, my mother hired a black woman to help her once a week. The lady's name was Ira Lee, and she was a black lady. And she would come to our house once a week, and she would help my mother clean. She would do all kinds of household, um, activities, because my mother had four children, very close in age and I'm sure she was a big help. It was, it was just a very acceptable thing to do among middle class people. I don't think I really thought twice about it. So um, my mother learned of Ira Lee from her very close friend, my girl friend's mother. Um and we all went to the same school together and the same church together. And so that's how we found out about Ira Lee. And Ira Lee come to our house once a week, and then she would help my mother, and then at dinner time, I can remember we all sit at our dinner table uh, four McDonough children and my two parents and Ira Lee always sat at the table with us. I remember it very well and she was just part of our family. She was like our guest, she just ate dinner with us. But I'll never forget when we went to have a lunch at my girl friend, Patricia's house, where Ira Lee also worked. And Ira Lee fixed lunch for us. And it was my mother and me, and my friend Patricia and her mother, and my friend Patricia's two sisters and we all sat down at the dinner table together to have the lunch that Ira Lee fixed for us. But Ira Lee had to sit in the kitchen by herself. It was not considered appropriate, I guess it would be the word or it was not considered acceptable in that household to have a black woman sitting with, sitting at the same M * bjbj== )6 ? W ? W M& 8 l , , , , , , , @ 8 4 @ @ % X X " z z z z z z $ j , z z z z z , , z z z , z , z z , , z L $ j @ 0 % e e @ @ , , , , HJ: Hye-Jin Jung (Interviewer) Chris O'Connor (Interviewee) START OF TAPE 1, SIDE A Hi. My name is Chris O'Connor. And um, I'm a host-family, person for Hye-Jin. And I'm, I'm, um, I'm honored um, to participate in the project. Um, what I would like to do is explain to Hye-Jin an experience I had, um, as, as a young child, uh, something that um, has stayed to me really all of my life and is especially meaningful now that I live in the South. Because I was born in the North, I was raised in the North I, you know, truly am, um, I consider myself a northern American, um, and quite by surprise um, we came to live in Charlotte two and a half years ago, um, mainly for work reasons. Both my husband and I had lost our jobs in the North. So, we came south, because this is where the jobs are and fortunately, we were able to get work and re-located here. So, this is two and a half years later, and my husband and I are employed in the public schools in Charlotte. My husband is a teacher, and I'm a coher about it later. And um, my mother I remember this is what I remember my mother's saying. This made such an impression on me. She said, "Well, don't you ever tell Mrs. Callahan that you slept in the same bed with Ira Lee. Mrs. Callahan would be shocked." So, I just, I just remember that very well and I never ever let this be known that it happened, although it didn't bother me, because I was very comfortable with Ira Lee. You know, I didn't even think twice about it. And I certainly don't think I was damaged by it at all. I just got the very strong message that was not something that should be repeated to this particular lady and the particular lady was a very fine person, a very good person, a very good mother, a very good Catholic, but she had been raised in the South. And that was totally, totally unacceptable to her way of thinking. So that's my um, recollection of um, Ira Lee, of um, growing up um, in the South, in the 50's probably. So, I just um, would like to share that story. I think we, I think we've come, hopefully, we've come a long way from, from that um, mode of thinking. So that maybe that kind of thinking has changed. Do you think maybe? Well, I think there has been, I mean, if you figured that was in the 50's. Oh, I know there have been a lot of good changes. I mean since Martin Luther King and all of that um, I still think, I still, I still know though that there is still prejudice. Uh, both ways, white people to black, towards black people, and black people towards white people and with all the races, it's not just limited to blacks and whites. That was just my own personal experience, but sometimes now not that I dwell on this, when I think of my present working situation were I work in a school really there are, the black children are, there are more blacks than whites are, it's pretty even but a little more black children. And you know, our faculty, we have a black woman principal whom I respect very much. I think she is a very fine person. And a lot of the black teachers, I think I respect them very much. I will say that I'm quite impressed with some of the black people. I notice um, black teachers, black people uh, I notice that at lunchtime when we sit down to have lunch they immediately stop and say a silent prayer immediately, that's just routine of them. And you know, I admire that very much. And it's really I see it more with the black people than I do with the white people. Um so, um yes, we've come a long, long way since when I was a little girl. But we still have a long way to go too. Paralegal Honored for Aiding Homeless; Pa. Agency Lauds Conestoga Woman P. J. Reilly If Valerie G. Case could achieve one more goal before she retires, she said she would like to see "homelessness as we know it" eradicated in Lancaster County. "The Lancaster Interagency Council for the Homeless is in the early stages of its 10-year plan to end homelessness," Case said. "I'd really like to see that plan fully implemented before I retire." Working toward such a lofty goal as a paralegal with the Lancaster office of MidPenn Legal Services is what earned Case, 52, of Conestoga, the Pennsylvania Legal Services Center's Striving for Excellence Award Tuesday. The award is given each year to an outstanding and dedicated employee in the state's legal services field. Serving much of central and south central Pennsylvania, MidPenn Legal Services provides legal assistance with civil cases to people with low incomes. Case has worked in the field since 1969, when a legal services agency was first opened to serve Lancaster, York and Reading. Various small organizations merged over the years to form the agency, which serves 18 counties. As a paralegal, Case spends much of her time helping people who can't afford legal services obtain medical, housing, Social Security and other benefits from the government. "There must be something in all of us that needs to be needed," Case said. "Giving back people their dignity, letting them have peace in their lives, is a definite reward for me." Case said the passion to help others was instilled in her in 1973 by Vicki Powell, a paralegal who trained Case to work with low- income and disabled clients. "Back then, there was no formal training in something like this," she said. "Vicki taught us how to talk to these people without talking down to them. She taught us how to treat them with dignity." Case's dedication to helping others doesn't end at her office door. From 1983 to 1985, she was a civil committee board member of National Legal Aid and Defender Association. She was public sector chair of National Federation of Paralegal Associations from 1984 to 1988. And she was a board member of the Nationwide Employee Benefits Organization from 1984 to 1988. From 1990 to 1995, Case managed Lancaster Legal Services Office and has served intermittently as manager since 1998. Since 1994, Case has been involved with the formation and development of Lancaster Interagency Council for the Homeless. The council is comprised of more than 30 local organizations that meet on a volunteer basis to learn about new programs and discuss the unmet needs of the homeless and how to address them. The council helps homeless people get food and clothing, enter drug and alcohol treatment and employment programs and find housing. "One of the most inspiring aspects of my work is the people around me," Case said. "When you work with people who are as dedicated as my colleagues, it's contagious." United States General Accounting Office Ranking Member, Subcommittee on Oversight of Government Management, Restructuring, and the District of Columbia, Committee on Governmental Affairs, U.S. Senate September 2001 HUMAN CAPITAL Practices That Empowered and Involved Employees a GAO-01-1070 Contents Related GAO Products A United States General Accounting Office Washington, D.C. 20548 September 14, 2001 The Honorable George V. Voinovich Ranking Member Subcommittee on Oversight of Government Management, Restructuring, and the District of Columbia Committee on Governmental Affairs United States Senate Dear Senator Voinovich: People are the federal government's most valuable asset in managing for results, and you have emphasized the importance of empowering and involving employees to help agencies achieve their goals and improve government operations. As our studies of private and public sector organizations have shown, high-performing organizations focus on valuing and investing in their employees--human capital--and on aligning their "people policies" to support organizational performance goals. However, strategic human capital management is a pervasive challenge in the federal government, and is one of the governmentwide areas that we have identified as high risk.1 In addition, the Administration's emphasis on workforce planning and restructuring will require federal agencies to examine how they can flatten their organizational hierarchy and improve their work processes. The Office of Management and Budget's May 8, 2001, bulletin called for agencies to use workforce planning to redistribute higher-level positions to front-line, service delivery positions that interact with citizens.2 Effective workforce planning and restructuring efforts will build upon implementation of the Government Performance and Results Act of 1993 (GPRA) to address results-oriented goals, improve performance, and assure accountability. To optimize the provision of services to citizens, it is crucial that employees understand the connection between their daily work activities and the results their organizations seek to achieve. 1 High-Risk Series: An Update ( GAO-01-263, Jan. 2001). 2 Office of Management and Budget, Bulletin No. 01-07, Workforce Planning and Restructuring, May 8, 2001. At your request, this report examines selected experiences five agencies have had in implementing practices that helped empower or involve frontline employees. Our objectives were to (1) identify and provide examples of the key practices agencies used to empower and involve employees, (2) identify some of the barriers that these agencies experienced and strategies they used to address them, and (3) provide examples of reported performance improvements from empowering and involving employees. As agreed, we have examined selected employee empowerment and involvement practices at specific components within the Federal Aviation Administration (FAA), the Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA), the Internal Revenue Service (IRS), the Office of Personnel Management (OPM), and the Veteran's Benefits Administration (VBA). The practices we examined at specific agency components were selected from those initiatives agency officials identified that had, in their view, successfully empowered and involved employees. The organizations we reviewed used six key practices in the initiatives that Results In Brief we reviewed to empower and involve employees. Figure 1 identifies the practices and provides some examples of how the organizations used them. Figure 1: Six Practices Used to Help Empower and Involve Employees Demonstrating top leadership commitment. Top leadership commitment is crucial in instilling a common vision across the organization and creating an environment that is receptive to innovation. Leaders of the agency organizations we reviewed envisioned needed changes, communicated openly with employees, and instituted organizational changes. For example, the Director of the FAA Logistics Center decided that the Center needed to operate more like a private sector business. He met in open forums with employees to discuss his vision and, with the help of employees and union representatives, reorganized the Center. Engaging employee unions. Effective labor-management relations help to achieve consensus and solve problems expeditiously. In some cases the unions participated in predecisional discussions with agency management before changes were implemented. For example, IRS involved its employees' union in pre-decisional discussions about proposed new policies. Training employees to enhance their knowledge, skills, and abilities. All five agencies provided formal or on-the-job training to employees to support the changes that were being made. For example, OPM provided on-the-job cross training to a retirement processing team so that the team could adjudicate retirement claims under both the Civil Service Retirement System (CSRS) and the Federal Employees' Retirement System (FERS). Using employee teams to help accomplish agency missions. All five agencies used teams to help accomplish agency missions. Teams helped flatten organizations by merging divisions and enhanced flexibility in meeting job demands. For example, VBA regional offices created self-directed employee teams and merged divisions to process veterans' benefits claims from beginning to end. Team members learned new skills and had more flexibility to help each other accomplish tasks. Involving employees in planning and sharing performance information. The agencies involved employees to varying degrees in planning and shared performance information with them. For example, one IRS division used an employee team to help develop its strategic plan and shared performance information. One way that FAA's Logistics center shared performance information was by posting performance data in charts, graphs, and tables throughout the building so employees could see the Center's progress toward achieving organizational goals. Delegating authorities to front-line employees. Employees at each of the agencies had been delegated authorities. In some instances employees were formally authorized to approve specified dollar levels of program assistance or procurements. For example, FEMA's public assistance coordinators were authorized to approve up to $100,000 in financial assistance to citizens adversely affected by natural disasters or other emergencies. In other instances, teams of employees were provided new authorities to make decisions related to their work processes, workloads, training needs, and work schedules. For the initiatives we reviewed, the agencies undertook changes that represented a significant shift from their traditional operations and, as such, encountered organizational and cultural barriers that needed to be overcome as they sought to empower and involve employees. These barriers included a lack of trust, resistance to change and lack of buy-in Page 3 GAO-01-1070 Human Capital from front-line employees and managers, and a variety of implementation issues, such as workload demands. The agencies developed strategies to address these barriers, such as maintaining open communication and reassigning and hiring personnel. Managers and employees adapted to the changes at their agencies over time, particularly once they perceived benefits, such as improved communication, from the new practices. In implementing the practices to empower and involve employees, agencies identified a range of examples to demonstrate the performance improvements these efforts have accomplished. Performance improvements cited included increased efficiency and improved customer satisfaction. For example, operating as a team has allowed FAA's Logistics Center to substantially reduce the time needed to make emergency radar repairs. FAA, IRS, OPM, and VBA generally agreed with the contents of this report. FEMA did not comment on the report. Background No management issue facing federal agencies could be more critical to their ability to serve the American people than their approach to strategic human capital management, including attracting, retaining, and motivating their employees. High-performing organizations in the private and public sectors have long understood the relationship between effective "people management" and organizational success. However, the federal government, which has often acted as if federal employees were costs to be cut rather than assets to be valued, has only recently received its wake-up call. As our January 2001 Performance and Accountability Series reports made clear, serious federal human capital shortfalls are now eroding the ability of many federal agencies-and threatening the ability of others-to economically, efficiently, and effectively perform their missions.3 The problem lies not with federal employees themselves, but with the lack of effective leadership and management, along with the lack of a strategic approach to marshaling, managing, and maintaining the human capital needed for government to discharge its responsibilities and deliver on its promises.4 All five of the agencies we reviewed have experienced challenges in managing their human capital. Each has implemented management changes in response to the challenges they face, including implementing strategies to empower and involve employees. FAA faces challenges, including the need to enhance communication and teamwork, and to provide employees with the training and skills they need to operate effectively. For example, we have reported on FAA's implementation of management reforms, including delegating authorities to teams, to improve its rulemaking processes.5 In our July 2001 report on aviation rulemaking we recommended, among other things, that the FAA Administrator take steps to (1) empower team members by giving them the authority to coordinate with the associate administrators (which would eliminate a separate review and approval step), (2) empower team 3 Performance and Accountability Series-Major Management Challenges and Program Risks: A Governmentwide Perspective ( GAO-01-241, Jan. 2001). In addition, see the accompanying 21 reports, numbered GAO-01-242 through GAO-01-262 on specific agencies. 4 Human Capital: Meeting the Governmentwide High-Risk Challenge (GAO-01-357T,Feb. 1, 2001). 5 Aviation Rulemaking: Further Reform Is Needed to Address Long-Standing Problems (GAO-01-821, July 9, 2001). members by permitting them to set their own schedules and deadlines, and (3) hold staff and management accountable for ensuring that schedules are realistic. At IRS we identified the challenges the organization faces in revamping its human capital policies to help achieve its congressionally mandated transformation to an agency that better balances service to the taxpayers with enforcement of the tax laws.6 IRS has made major changes to modernize its organization and operations and comply with the IRS Restructuring and Reform Act of 1998.7 These changes present major management challenges and will require considerable time to successfully implement them, and IRS managers and employees are still learning how to work effectively in the new environment. In revamping its performance management system, for example, we reported that IRS' new system is weakest at the front line, where interactions with taxpayers occur.8 However, IRS officials told us that IRS is conducting customer satisfaction surveys to enhance its knowledge about what IRS employees can do to better meet taxpayers' needs. 6 Human Capital: Taking Steps to Meet Current and Emerging Human Capital Challenges (GAO-01-965T, July 17, 2001). 7 P.L 105-206, July 22, 1998. 8 Follow-up to the May 8, 2001, Hearing Regarding the IRS Restructuring Act's Goals and IRS Funding ( GAO-01-903R, June 29, 2001), and IRS Modernization: Continued Improvement in Management Capability Needed to Support Long-Term Transformation (GAO-01-700T, May 8, 2001). VBA faces challenges in processing veterans' benefit claims accurately and in a timely manner. In its fiscal year 2000 performance report, the Veterans Administration reported that performance declined with respect to its rating-related claims-processing timeliness and national accuracy rate. Among the reasons it cited for this decline was underestimating how long it would take to realize the impact of initiatives such as increased staffing and improved training.9 We reported that many experienced claims-processing staff are expected to retire and that VBA's training and recruitment programs may not be adequate to ensure a sufficient workforce of competent claims processors.10 VBA officials told us that, in response to the concern we raised that many of the training modules might not be available in time to train new employees, VBA has stepped up implementation of its plans to use a new Training and Performance Support System (TPSS).11 This system is intended to provide standardized training to new employees who will replace the wave of employees expected to retire during the next several years. According to VBA officials, they are currently using TPSS training modules to facilitate the training of some new employees, but the training modules needed for other newly hired employees will not be available until November 2001. In the interim, VBA is using a web-based "field guide" to train those employees. The field guide uses a variety of delivery mechanisms including satellite broadcasts, video teleconferencing and centralized and localized classroom instruction. FEMA also faces special mission-related challenges, including providing timely responses to disaster aid requests, preventing or reducing harm and losses from future disasters through cost-effective mitigation efforts, and working effectively with other federal, state, and local programs. To address its strategic human capital management challenges, FEMA has started an initiative to reduce middle management layers and streamline its organization.12 9 Veterans Affairs: Status of Achieving Key Outcomes and Addressing Major Management Challenges ( GAO-01-752, June 15, 2001). 10Major Management Challenges and Program Risks: Department of Veterans Affairs (GAO-01-255, Jan. 2001). 11 Veterans' Benefits: Training for Claims Processors Needs Evaluation (GAO-01-601, May31, 2001). 12 Federal Emergency Management Agency: Status of Achieving Key Outcomes and Addressing Major Management Challenges (GAO-01-832, July 9, 2001). Scope And Methodology The fifth agency we report on-OPM-downsized significantly during the 1990s. Among its many responsibilities, OPM receives tens of thousands of federal employee claims for retirement and insurance benefits each year. Although its processes have not changed significantly since the 1980s, OPM plans to modernize its retirement systems. This modernization is OPM's central strategy to meet the long-term customer service and financial management objectives for CSRS and FERS. In its fiscal year 2002 performance plan OPM reported that, beginning in fiscal year 2002, it will phase in a new business model for retirement claims processing.13 To meet our objectives, we asked officials at five agencies to identify initiatives they had that empowered or involved employees. From the inventories of the initiatives they developed in response to our request, we asked agency officials to identify those agency components and initiatives that, in their view, had successfully involved and empowered employees. We sought to identify practices that were commonly implemented by the agencies within the past 5 years. In some cases, agencies focused our attention on practices that began earlier. We interviewed agency executives, managers, supervisors, front-line employees, and union representatives to discuss how agencies had implemented these practices to empower and involve employees, and we analyzed related documents and information they provided. We did not attempt to verify the performance data that agencies provided. We included FAA in our review because it has certain exemptions from the Federal Acquisition Regulations designed to facilitate delegating procurement authorities to lower levels. We included IRS and OPM in our review, given IRS' exemption from certain title 5 personnel provisions and OPM's human capital leadership role in the federal government. FEMA and VBA were selected because a literature review of relevant articles indicated that front-line employees from those agencies had been empowered or involved in key agency decisions or operations. Because we were seeking to review initiatives that had successfully empowered and involved employees, we asked headquarters officials to identify organizational components for our review. Our FAA work was 13 Office of Personnel Management: Status of Achieving Key Outcomes and Addressing Major Management Challenges ( GAO-01-884, July 9, 2001). Page 8 GAO-01-1070 Human Capital Six Key Practices Helped Empower And Involve Employees concentrated at the Mike Monroney Aeronautical Center in Oklahoma City, OK. Our FEMA work was done at the National Security Affairs Office, the Response and Recovery Directorate, and the Operations Support Directorate within FEMA headquarters in Washington, D.C., and at FEMA's U.S. Fire Administration in Emmitsburg, MD. Our work at IRS was done at the Wage and Investment Division in IRS' headquarters in Washington, D.C., and at the Accounts Management, Submissions Processing, and Compliance branches at the Ogden, UT, Service Center. Our OPM work was conducted at its Retirement and Insurance Service locations in Washington, D.C., and Boyers, PA. Our VBA work was conducted at VBA's regional offices in Los Angeles, CA; Muskogee, OK; and Phoenix, AZ. Our selection process was not designed to provide examples that could be considered representative of all the employee empowerment and involvement initiatives at the agencies reviewed or the federal government in general. We conducted our work from October 2000 through August 2001 in accordance with generally accepted government auditing standards. The five agencies we reviewed implemented key empowerment and involvement practices as part of making organizational changes intended to realign organizations and processes to improve performance. The practices were (1) demonstrating top leadership commitment; (2) engaging employee unions in making changes; (3) training employees to enhance their knowledge, skills, and abilities; (4) using employee teams to help accomplish agency missions; (5) involving employees in planning, and sharing performance information; and (6) delegating authorities to frontline employees. Demonstrating Top Leadership Commitment Top leadership commitment is crucial in developing a vision, initiating organizational change, maintaining open communications, and creating an environment that is receptive to innovation. In earlier reports and testimonies, we observed that top leadership must play a critical role in creating and sustaining high-performing organizations. Without the clear and demonstrated commitment of agency top leadership, organizational cultures will not be transformed, and new visions and ways of doing business will not take root.14 Consistent attention to employee empowerment and involvement issues helps to ensure that changes are sustained. Agency leaders need to commit their organizations to valuing and investing in their employees by empowering, involving, and providing them the tools to do their best, and by implementing the modern performance management and incentives systems needed to focus employees' efforts on achieving agency missions and goals. Top leadership commitment entails time, energy, and persistence in providing incentives and establishing accountability. Agency leaders must commit their organizations to valuing and investing in their employees and focusing their employees' efforts on achieving stated agency missions and goals.15 While top leadership commitment can be demonstrated in many ways, the following are examples employees and managers identified for the selected initiatives we reviewed at these agencies. Think strategically about areas where innovation would make good business sense. Leaders conceptualized new approaches to improve performance and engaged employees and managers in shaping the implementation of that vision. For example, the Director at FAA's Logistics Center saw the need for operating more like a private sector business and envisioned the organizational and operational changes that would be required to do that. The Logistics Center's Director helped to ensure that all employees shared his vision by discussing proposed changes with his top-level managers and by meeting with front-line 14 Managing for Results: Federal Managers' Views Show Need for Ensuring Top Leadership Skills (GAO-01-127, Oct. 20, 2000); Management Reform: Using the Results Act and Quality Management to Improve Federal Performance (GAO/T-GGD-99-151, July 29, 1999); and Management Reform: Elements of Successful Improvement Initiatives (GAO/T- GGD-00-26, Oct. 15, 1999). 15 GAO-01-965T. Page 10 GAO-01-1070 Human Capital employees and union representatives to obtain their input about potential changes. Reorganize and integrate operations. Leaders implemented their visions by realigning their organizations to improve performance and increase the coordination of mission-related activities. For example, a Branch Chief in OPM's Retirement and Insurance Service enabled a new team to improve claims processing by, among other things, providing cross-training for the team to handle both CSRS and FERS claims. Create an environment of trust and honest communication. Leaders made themselves available to employees and unions, promoted open and constructive dialog, and were receptive to ideas and suggestions from employees at all levels. Following an approach to change management that is transparent and highly participatory is a key element in involving and empowering employees. For example, several of the agencies held town-hall meetings with employees to discuss workplace issues and provide a forum for input and feedback. IRS employees said that they felt that management used the information they provided about proposed changes. Target investments and provide incentives to facilitate change. Leaders provided funding and created financial and other incentives to support new ways of working and to encourage employees to attain the agencies' goals and objectives. For example, the FAA Logistics Center Director committed to providing every Logistics Center employee with a $500 cash award if the Center met all of its performance targets for fiscal year 2001. At the time of our review, the Logistics Center was on track to meet or exceed its goals. Participate in efforts to benchmark successful organizations. Some leaders visited organizations that were models for enhancing organizational flexibility and maintaining quality standards. By visiting and benchmarking model performance practices, leaders demonstrated to employees their personal commitment to making the changes needed for their offices or units to become high-performing organizations.16 For example, the Director of one VBA regional office visited several private sector organizations to observe how they processed claims and ensured accuracy. The insights gained were factored into the changes made in regional office claims operations. 16 Benchmarking is a critical part of an effective improvement program because it helps an organization identify outstanding levels of performance that have actually been achieved. Benchmarking therefore helps define specific reference points for setting goals for improving performance. See Managing for Results: Critical Actions for Measuring Performance (GAO/T-GGD/AIMD-95-187, June 20, 1995). Page 11 GAO-01-1070 Human Capital Use a 360-degree performance feedback system. One leader used input from team members to improve the team's performance. An OPM Branch Chief who supervises the cross-trained claims processing team implemented a 360-degree feedback system for assessing both her and her team members' performance. Under that system, team members provide her with input on her performance as a team coach as well as input on the performance of other team members. She then uses that information for self-assessment and in providing performance feedback to individual team members. Engaging Employee Unions Involving employee unions, as well as involving employees directly, is crucial to achieving success. Major changes can involve redesigning work processes, changing work rules, developing new job descriptions, establishing new work hours, or making other changes to the work environment that are of particular concern to employees' unions. Obtaining union cooperation and support through effective labormanagement relations can help achieve consensus on the planned changes, avoid misunderstandings, and more expeditiously resolve problems that occur. The following are examples of how agencies engaged employee unions. Develop and maintain an ongoing working relationship with unions. Agencies worked cooperatively with employee unions and found that an ongoing relationship enhanced communication. For example, OPM maintained a continuous dialog through weekly meetings of management and union representatives to share information and address workplace issues. Officials at OPM's Retirement Operations Center at Boyers, PA, and the American Federation of Government Employees (AFGE) said that their excellent working relationship helped facilitate the adjustments made to incorporate new technology at the Center. They said when new technology reduced the Center's need for file clerks, union and management officials worked together to ensure that affected employees received advance notice about upcoming changes, training in new skills, and information about available job opportunities. Document formal agreements. Agencies had formal agreements to serve as a foundation setting forth the manner in which labor and management would work together. For example, the agreement between IRS and the National Treasury Employees Union (NTEU) was designed to ensure that employees are adequately represented and informed of proposed new policies and have input into the proposals. Training Employees to Enhance Their Knowledge, Skills, and Abilities The agreement also provides for continuous improvement in IRS operations in part by providing employees the authority, resources, and other inputs they need to effect changes and to be accountable for performing effectively, and provides for NTEU participation in various forums, such as business process improvement teams and cross-unit committees. Build trust over time. Some agencies have undertaken a long-term effort to create an environment of trust and openness in working cooperatively with unions. For example, both IRS and NTEU officials credited the excellent working relationship they developed over the last decade for helping to reorganize IRS. Officials at IRS stated that the reorganization has resulted in operating divisions that are focused on serving taxpayers and flatter decision-making structures with clear end-to-end accountability. The NTEU President said that the union was willing to expedite some negotiations on mission-critical issues because a trusting relationship had developed and IRS employees felt that management used the information they provided in shaping the new IRS. Participate jointly in making decisions. Agencies involved unions and incorporated their input into proposals before finalizing decisions. For example, several unions provided suggestions about how agencies should share performance information with employees. In another instance, OPM's Operations Center and AFGE worked jointly on predecisional matters, such as the hiring of a new director of the Operations Center. Both employees and managers viewed training as a critical factor in learning how to work in new and different ways. To improve customer service, employees may need new skills, such as the ability to analyze and improve work processes or the ability to work effectively together on teams. In addition to job-specific skills and work processes, training in teamwork and communications and encouragement and coaching through mentoring and networking can help employees adapt to new ways of working that involve changes in their roles and job expectations. VBA officials, for instance, told us that, along with providing various training modules, employees also need on-the-job training, coaching and mentoring to enhance their expertise through actual experience in processing claims. The following are examples of how agencies trained employees in new processes. Provide a mix of on-the-job and formal training. Agencies used a variety of training techniques to help employees adjust to organizational and operational changes. For example, OPM provided on-the-job cross training so that a claims processing team could adjudicate both CSRS and FERS claims. According to the Branch Chief, because the team received cross-training, it was able to help another division reduce its backlog of FERS cases. OPM also provided formal training to teams in how to make decisions in setting goals, planning and assigning work, and scheduling overtime and training. Provide training on building team relationships and new ways of working. When making significant changes to their operations, agencies provided training to help facilitate change. For example, when IRS undertook a major reorganization, its Ogden, UT, Service Center trained its employees in the new ways of conducting business. The training workshops included (1) learning how effective teams function; (2) improving working relationships among peers, managers and employees, and managers and union stewards; (3) enhancing effective communications among employees, union stewards, and managers; (4) increasing discussions about ways to improve work processes and meet customers' needs; and (5) creating a more positive workplace environment. The employees we interviewed said that training on effective working relationships was especially beneficial because they got to know their co-workers and gained an appreciation for each others' views. Commit sufficient funding and time to training. Agencies considered training needs in budget decisions and their workforce planning. For example, as FAA's Logistics Center was being reorganized to operate in a more businesslike manner, it trained employees about the need for, as well as on how to develop, quality work processes. This enabled employees to document information that was required for the Logistics Center to receive International Organization for Standardization (ISO) 9000 certification for quality work processes.17 To receive this certification, an organization must show that it has standardized, high-quality processes that result in products and services that are provided in a timely manner. 17ISO is a worldwide federation of national standards bodies representing 140 countries. ISO 9000 certification recognizes standardized quality processes established by organizations to produce consistently high-quality products or services. Page 14 GAO-01-1070 Human Capital Using Employee Teams To Help Accomplish Agency Missions Adopting a teams-based approach to operations can improve employee morale and job satisfaction by creating an environment characterized by open communication, enhanced flexibility in meeting job demands, and a sense of shared responsibility for accomplishing agency goals and objectives. Using teams can also assist in integrating different perspectives, flattening organizational structure, and streamlining operations. In a prior GAO report on best practices, we said that commercial firms began using integrated product teams in the 1980s as a way to get better results faster.18 An integrated product team is a concentration of product expertise within a team of employees who, together, have the authority to design, develop, test, manufacture, and deliver a product. In examining FAA's efforts to modernize its air traffic control systems, we stated that although FAA has identified an integrated team approach as key to the agency's efforts to deploy systems that meet performance goals, major offices still tended to function in stovepipes that inhibit an integrated team approach.19 The following are examples of how teams were used in the agency initiatives we reviewed. Create teams of employees who represent multiple organizational functions and different grade levels. Agencies flattened their organizational structures by including employees from various organizational functions and grade levels on teams. For example, VBA consolidated regional office operations by merging two divisions and creating teams with members from both functions who could process claims from beginning to end. In some cases, forming teams provided opportunities for front-line employees to assume leadership roles. FEMA's teams at the U.S. Fire Administration provided opportunities for front-line employees to lead teams whose members included a mix of employees and supervisors. Agencies also took steps to streamline their processes by using a team approach. For example, VBA streamlined its claims process by allowing one employee to handle all aspects of a claim, instead of requiring employees to write referrals and wait for responses from other divisions. VBA's team approach also 18 Best Practices: DOD Teaming Practices Not Achieving Potential Results (GAO-01-510,Apr. 10, 2001). 19 Air Traffic Control: Role of FAA's Modernization Program in Reducing Delays and Congestion ( GAO-01-725T, May 10, 2001). Page 15 GAO-01-1070 Human Capital enhanced accountability to veterans because team members were responsible for handling specific claims. Establish an integrated working environment with common goals. When agencies established teams, this provided an environment in which individual team members were encouraged to work together toward achieving team goals. For example, FEMA's U.S. Fire Administration teams had members from units throughout the organization. The teams met on a weekly basis and identified ways to implement over 170 Board of Visitors recommendations for improving the Fire Administration's operations. These teams facilitated communications and employee involvement by maintaining a focal point for the organization, working toward consensus, and posting performance data showing progress toward addressing these recommendations. Assign team responsibilities and provide an environment for learning. Agencies assigned a broad range of responsibilities to teams and allowed members to help each other and learn new skills. For example, VBA's claims-processing teams were responsible for controlling claims from when first received until finally adjudicated. That required the team to conduct a full range of claims functions, including receiving and controlling the claims, contacting veterans and hospitals to obtain information, and making benefit decisions. Team members were able to assist other team members when needed, which helped develop team members' skills in functions they did not previously perform. To enable the team to efficiently meet their objectives, the teams were also responsible for setting their work schedules and managing their workload. Hold teams accountable for results. The agencies held teams accountable for accomplishing their work, and working together in a team environment encouraged team members to share accountability. When teams made decisions about how to do their work, employees told us they felt greater accountability for the teams' overall performance. For example, members of the FAA Logistics Center's integrated product teams were accountable for all aspects of the Center's products, including maintenance, repair, storage, and shipping. The teams' performance was measured on a regular basis, providing direct feedback to the teams. Involving Employees in Planning and Sharing Performance Information Physically collocate team members when appropriate. Agencies collocated team members when the employees had been working in the same building or facility. Although technology is being used to help bring teams that are geographically dispersed together in a virtual environment, to the extent that team members are already located nearby, moving team members to a shared location improved communication and enhanced efficiency.20 For example, collocating OPM's retirement team members facilitated the sharing of information among members and led to improved work processes and customer satisfaction. Involving employees in planning and sharing performance information can help employees understand what the organization is trying to accomplish and how it is progressing in that direction. Involving employees in the planning process helps to develop agency goals and objectives that incorporate insights about operations from a front-line perspective, as well as increases employees' understanding and acceptance of organizational goals and objectives. Involving front-line employees in the goal-setting process also helps create a clear "line of sight" throughout the organization so that everyone understands what the organization is trying to achieve and the goals it seeks to reach. Employees we met with appeared committed to working toward the goals of their agencies and to providing high quality service. 20 Advances in the use of information technology and the Internet are continuing to change the way federal agencies communicate, use, and disseminate information, deliver services, and conduct business. See Electronic Government: Challenges Must Be Addressed With Effective Leadership and Management ( GAO-01-959T, July 11, 2001). Page 17 GAO-01-1070 Human Capital Sharing performance information can provide employees with a more meaningful perspective about how their day-to-day activities contribute toward the organization's goals and objectives. Sharing performance information also allows supervisors to provide clearer and more specific feedback to teams and front-line employees on their expectations, progress, and performance. Agencies' use of performance information can be improved. In May 2001, we reported that, based on a survey of federal managers at 28 agencies, at no more than 7 of the 28 agencies surveyed did 50 percent or more of the managers respond that they used performance information to a great or very great extent.21 However, at the agencies we visited, managers used performance information and shared this information with front-line employees through various mechanisms. Some of these agencies, such as VBA and IRS, used a balanced scorecard approach, which is intended to provide a balanced perspective regarding agency results, customer satisfaction, and employee feedback. At one of VBA's regional offices, for example, computerized information is continuously displayed on video screens providing employees with current performance information. The employees we met with were aware of their agencies' and their units' performance goals and objectives, and they said that sharing performance information had enhanced communications across all levels of the organization. Employees told us that sharing performance information provided everyone with a focus to work toward and a status report on their progress. They also said that sharing performance information generated more performance-related discussions, including at town-hall meetings, other meetings with managers, and during team meetings. The following are examples of how agencies involved employees in planning and sharing performance information. Create mechanisms to involve employees in the planning process. Agencies used various mechanisms to develop strategic plans, gather feedback from internal stakeholders for identifying gaps in existing strategic plans, and obtain employee input and feedback. For example, one IRS division used an employee team to help to develop its strategic plan. The team ensured that all division employees had opportunities to 21 Managing for Results: Federal Managers' Views on Key Management Issues Vary Widely Across Agencies (GAO-01-592, May 25, 2001). Page 18 GAO-01-1070 Human Capital Delegating Authorities to Front-line Employees provide input, and the agency used that input as part of its efforts to develop a balanced set of goals and objectives for the division. Post performance information throughout the workplace. Agencies shared performance information with employees by posting it through a variety of means, including charts, graphs, newsletters, and agency intranet postings. For example, FAA's Logistics Center posted performance charts and graphs in the entry foyers of its buildings and at the entrances to its organizational units. Such postings permitted employees to easily see how their units' performance was contributing to agency goals and objectives. The Logistics Center also had a monthly newsletter for sharing organizational performance information and providing an arena for employees to share information. Share performance information in meetings. Agencies frequently held town-hall and other meetings to discuss program performance and organizational issues. Agencies used town-hall meetings to help employees better understand how their work efforts contributed to overall organizational success. The town-hall meetings also provided a forum in which employees and managers could discuss organizational changes and suggest operational improvements. For example, IRS' Ogden, UT, Service Center employees we interviewed said that for the first time regular and effective communications between Center managers and employees was occurring. They said that, in addition to listening, managers were taking action on employees' suggestions, which made the employees see that their input was valued. Frequent team meetings provided employees an opportunity to obtain feedback about agency performance. For example, VBA teams shared performance information at weekly meetings, information that helped the teams assess their progress in meeting performance goals. Survey employees on their views regarding organizational direction. Agencies used surveys to obtain employees' views, such as input regarding the direction of organizational changes. IRS' Wage and Investment Operating Division surveyed employees on the strengths, opportunities, and priorities for each of the division's branches, shared survey results with employees, and implemented changes as a result. Delegating authorities to front-line employees involves the transfer of authorities from managers to those employees who are closer to citizens and provide services and information as part of their day-to-day activities. Providing delegated authorities can enable employees to control their own work processes and schedules. Delegating authorities also gives employees the opportunity to look at customer needs in an integrated way Page 19 GAO-01-1070 Human Capital and effectively respond to those needs. Delegating authorities can benefit agency operations by streamlining processes. Furthermore, delegating authorities to front-line employees gives managers greater opportunities to concentrate on problems or policy-level issues. If employees believe they have the authority to tackle goals and objectives beyond their formal job descriptions and assigned units, then when customers have legitimate complaints, empowered front-line employees can "make it right" immediately rather than having to wait for management to get involved. The following are examples of how agencies delegated authorities to frontline employees. Empower on-site staff with authority to make decisions. Agencies delegated authorities and empowered front-line employees to exercise responsibilities to more fully address customer needs. For example, FEMA public assistance coordinators are on-site at the disaster or emergency to observe the conditions and to coordinate public assistance. They were delegated the authority to determine applicants' eligibility, to approve up to $100,000 in public financial assistance, and to help to ensure that applicants are kept fully informed throughout the public assistance process. Eliminate layers of review. Agencies reduced the number of approvals needed for various activities and delegated greater authority to front-line employees to make decisions. For example, FAA's Aeronautical Center delegated authorities to its audiovisual teams to make decisions while on location, such as the need to visit locations in addition to those originally planned and approved. This allowed the audiovisual teams to more efficiently meet customer needs. At FEMA, delegating authority to the Public Assistance Coordinators eliminated two additional state reviews of applications for assistance and two other reviews by FEMA. Provide more time for managers to focus on problem areas or policy matters. Agencies targeted managers' skills on more difficult problems or policy areas by delegating some authorities to front-line employees. For example, VBA managers said they were able to use their time more efficiently after delegating day-to-day claims-processing authorities to the teams. They said that by delegating these authorities, they could concentrate on policy matters and more difficult problems that the teams were unable to handle. Establish a new position with appropriate authority. Some agencies identified situations in which new positions of authority could help benefit operations. For example, VBA, as part of its efforts to Agencies Addressed Barriers To Efforts That Empowered And Involved Employees reengineer its claims processing, established a new decision review officer position and provided employees in those positions the authority to review and change claims decisions that veterans appealed. Prior to this, veterans' appeals were addressed under a formal hearing process. Because decision review officers have more flexibility to address appeals informally, creating this new position provided the opportunity to streamline the process and save time. The agencies we reviewed undertook changes that represented a significant shift from their traditional operations and, as such, encountered organizational and cultural barriers that needed to be overcome as they sought to empower and involve employees. Some of the barriers included a lack of trust, resistance to change and a lack of buy-in, and implementation issues. Despite encountering these barriers, the employees and managers we met at each of the five agencies perceived benefits from the employee empowerment and involvement practices that their agencies had implemented. To address the barriers, the agencies used such strategies as open communication, a commitment to change, and providing performance feedback. All of these efforts entailed cultural transformations, and therefore there was some natural resistance that took time and effort to overcome. Nevertheless, the experiences of these agencies demonstrate that organizations can make progress in addressing barriers to empower and involve their employees. The following are some examples of the barriers encountered and the strategies used to address them. Lack of Trust The agencies identified a lack of trust as a barrier they experienced in their efforts to empower and involve employees. A lack of trust can frustrate agency attempts to implement major changes in employees' day-to-day working environment. Throughout our review, managers, unions, and employees continuously emphasized the importance of trust in gaining acceptance for changes. For example, some employees feared for their job security as FAA's Logistics Center began to implement more business like operations. However, they told us that they learned to trust the Logistics Center's Director as they recognized the need for the changes. Some employees were skeptical that managers would listen to their input for planning purposes. They were also concerned that performance data Resistance to Change and Lack of Buy-in would be used to justify punitive actions, rather than to increase employees' understanding about the direction of the agency's performance. In addition, working in a more open environment requires employees to trust and help each other, which some employees said initially was a barrier to working as a team. Maintaining an open door policy that encouraged employees to share their views and demonstrating a vision and commitment to change were two approaches that agencies used to develop trust. Another barrier that agencies experienced was resistance to change and a lack of buy-in. Employees and managers resisted making changes because they had to work in new and unfamiliar ways. Some employees found it difficult to transition from working under direct supervision to working on a team with little direct supervision. For example, according to FEMA officials, some team members continued to seek leadership and guidance from management, did not trust other team members, and were reluctant to speak out in the team environment until they eventually adjusted to working in a team environment. According to officials from the five agencies, some managers found it difficult to operate in a new environment of more open communication and feedback. Some FEMA managers and supervisors were reluctant to allow employees to have delegated authorities in areas such as budgeting, procurement, and time and attendance report approval. At FAA's Aeronautical Center, some employees with contracting responsibilities were initially uncomfortable exercising newly delegated procurement authority to purchase goods or services up to a certain dollar amount without supervisory approval. The employees said that they gained confidence as they became more experienced in exercising the new authority, and some of the employees and managers who initially resisted changes adjusted to them gradually over time. In some cases, the offices we visited made managerial and supervisory changes when individuals were unable to adjust to a more open work environment. A lack of buy-in resulted in some employees and managers being reluctant to fully participate in training. They tended to view the changes being made as another "flavor-of-the-month" initiative. Thus, they were not as open to receiving new information or adopting new ways of working. IRS provided an example of a solution to this barrier. To encourage managers to buy into team concept training, IRS has decided to train section chiefs who will then train employees in their work units. Implementation Issues Implementation issues, such as workload demands and performance incentive issues, also presented barriers to change. Although employees generally appreciated the changes made to work in a team environment, high workload demands affected some team members' ability to exercise their delegated authority. VBA, for example, has a large, and growing, backlog of compensation and pension claims. 22 Although team members had the authority to set their schedules and determine their day-to-day work priorities, heavy workload demands prevented them from being able to plan and manage their work. Some of VBA's decision review officers also told us that their ability to exercise their delegated authorities had been limited by the claims-processing backlogs. Another implementation issue that affected teams involved the incentives that agencies provided to teams to encourage performance. For example, some employees said that working on teams was demotivating when poor performers obtained an equal share of team rewards. Some employees and managers said that not enough money was available for rewarding employees and teams that met their goals and objectives. Such issues were commonly addressed in team meetings and in individual performance feedback. The timing of training was another implementation issue that agencies cited as a barrier. For example, some team members told us that it would have been helpful if they had received training before being reorganized into teams, rather than after. Because training was not provided prior to moving to a team environment, the teams were immediately faced with the need for team members to take time off of the front lines for training and skill building. Providing training at the appropriate time for an employee can achieve better results. 22 The accurate and timely processing of compensation and pension claims is one of the major management challenges we have identified at the Department of Veterans Affairs. See Major Management Challenges and Program Risks: Department of Veterans Affairs (GAO-01-255, Jan. 2001). Page 23 GAO-01-1070 Human Capital Agencies identified a range of examples to demonstrate the different ways Agencies Cited performance can be improved in implementing the practices to empower and involve employees. As we have reported before when looking at Performance management reform efforts, it is difficult to disentangle the effects of numerous initiatives and external factors that affect each agency'sImprovements environment.23 For example, external factors such as legislative changes that resulted in reopening nearly 100,000 veterans' claims and the increasing complexity of these claims have affected VBA's results in addressing its claims backlog. Officials from the five agencies attributed improved operations to the employee empowerment and involvement initiatives they had implemented, and the specific offices we visited had achieved successes in implementing the practices we reviewed in this report. Therefore, these examples are presented to illustrate how performance can improve through the contributions of empowered and involved employees. FAA's Logistics Center Radar Product Division team addressed emergencies, as well as routine tasks, more quickly. Established in 1998, this Division is an integrated product team of experts such as engineers and electronic technicians, who perform all of the functions required to repair ground-based radar systems. In April 2000, the airport surveillance radar at Boston's Logan Airport was ripped from its mounting pedestal during severe weather conditions, severely reducing the number of flights in and out of Logan Airport. Working together, the team, along with other FAA and non-FAA organizations, made extensive repairs and restored radar service within 58 hours after the incident. In December 2000, a similar problem occurred at New York's JFK airport, and the team restored service within 56 hours. According to Logistics Center officials, prior to working as an integrated product team, it required longer for FAA to coordinate a response to similar emergencies and fully restore service. FAA said that collocating all of the logistics functions including Engineers, Items Managers, Technicians, Equipment Specialists, etc, allowed the team to work together on priority areas. Collocation also eliminated communication barriers, such as the need to write memos or leave voice mail messages 23 NPR's Savings: Claimed Agency Savings Cannot All Be Attributed to NPR (GAO/GGD- 99-120, July 23, 1999). Page 24 GAO-01-1070 Human Capital to request services and wait for responses. Forming the team also allowed FAA to reduce overlapping roles and responsibilities. Logistics Center officials said that the Radar Product Division team's coordinated operations saved time, including reducing the average number of days required to obtain research assistance from 45 days to 1 day. FEMA's customer surveys show improved satisfaction. According to FEMA, one of its goals was to transform the public assistance program into a customer-driven and performance-based program, thereby improving the quality and delivery of service to state and local applicants. Customer surveys conducted by FEMA after each disaster where public assistance was provided showed that customer satisfaction has improved. Fiscal year 2000 survey results showed that 85.6 percent of the respondents were satisfied with the assistance FEMA provided, an increase from the 81.4 percent customer satisfaction level FEMA achieved in fiscal year 1999. FEMA's fiscal year 2001 target is to increase its customer satisfaction results up to 87 percent. FEMA officials we met with said that delegating authority to the employees in Public Assistance Coordinator positions had contributed to this improvement. OPM's retirement claims processing team helped another Division in the Retirement and Insurance Service reduce a backlog of retirement claims. In February 2000, there was a backlog of about 12,000 FERS retirement claims, and OPM's management instituted a seven-point plan to address this problem. One of the components of the plan was to provide an existing group of CSRS benefits specialists with cross training in FERS claims adjudication. OPM said that the team's flexibility, attitude, and work ethic played a significant role in the success of this effort, which was OPM's first cross-training initiative. According to OPM, the team's contribution, along with reallocating staff, hiring, and improved automation, led to a 7,000 case reduction in the backlog by March 2001.24 24 As reported in its fiscal year 2000 performance report, CSRS claims processing time increased to 44 days from 32 days in fiscal year 1999, and FERS processing times increased to more than 6 months from 3 months in fiscal year 1999 (see GAO-01-884). OPM hasrecognized the need to address lagging times in retirement claims processing. According to OPM, steps to implement its modernization plan have reduced FERS processing times, and development of a staffing plan will enable it to reduce CSRS processing times. Page 25 GAO-01-1070 Human Capital IRS' Substitute for Return Authority has expedited taxpayer compliance. In some cases, IRS employees are authorized to prepare substitute tax returns for taxpayers that did not file or filed a false return. Instead of referring requests to a different office as was done in the past, IRS has delegated this authority to revenue officers. This allows one-stop case resolution, because the revenue officers now maintain complete control of the case through collection of any balance due. By streamlining IRS' processes, additional taxes are being assessed within 5 to 8 months, much faster than the 30 months it usually took before. This also benefits taxpayers, because the amount of penalties and interest added to taxpayer accounts is reduced when assessments are more timely. IRS reported that during a fiscal year 2000 pilot program, revenue officers with delegated authorities prepared 257 non-filer cases involving tax assessments of about $3.5 million. When VBA established its decision review officer position, it first used a pilot program to test the new operational approach at 12 locations. VBA found that during the pilot phase, which ended December 31, 2000, the number of appeals resolved at the regional office level increased by 10 percent. By implementing this position nationwide, VBA projects there will be a 45 percent increase in the number of appeals resolved at the regional offices during fiscal year 2001. VBA attributes the increased number of appeals resolved at the regional office level to the efforts of its decision review officers. As agencies plan and implement the President's initiative to restructure Conclusions their workforces and streamline their organizations, they need to recognize how human capital contributes to achieving missions and goals. Effective changes can only be made and sustained through the cooperation of leaders, union representatives, and employees throughout the organization. All members of an organization must understand the rationale for making organizational and cultural changes because everyone has a stake in helping to shape and implement initiatives as part of agencies' efforts to meet current and future challenges. Agencies can improve their performance by the way they treat and manage their people. In this report we have identified six key practices used in selected initiatives to help to empower and involve employees in identifying and implementing needed changes. These practices are Agency Comments providing sustained leadership commitment to open communications and support culture change, engaging unions to include all perspectives in achieving consensus about needed changes, using a variety of formal and on-the-job training approaches to facilitate the development of new skills, encouraging employees to combine their resources and talents by working together in teams, involving employees in planning and sharing performance information so that employees help shape agencies' goals and better understand how their day-to-day activities contribute to results, and empowering staff by giving them the authority they need to make decisions and effectively conduct agency operations. Each federal agency will need to consider the applicability of these practices within the context of its own mission, needs, and culture. Nevertheless, we believe that agencies can improve their performance, enhance employees' morale and job satisfaction, and provide a working environment where employees have a better understanding of the goals and objectives of their organizations and how they are contributing to the results that American citizens want. We believe that the practices we identified should be considered by other agencies as they seek to improve their unique operations and respond to the challenges they are facing. We provided drafts of this report in August 2001 to the Secretary of Veterans Affairs, the Secretary of Transportation, the Commissioner of Internal Revenue, the Director of the Office of Personnel Management, and the Administrator of the Federal Emergency Management Agency, or their designees, for their review. Cognizant agency officials from DOT, IRS, OPM, and FAA responded orally and agreed with the contents of the draft report. In some cases, they also provided written technical comments to clarify specific points regarding the information presented. Where appropriate, we have made changes to this report that reflect these technical comments. FEMA did not provide comments on this report. As agreed with your office, unless you announce the contents of this report earlier, we plan no further distribution until 30 days after its issue date. At that time, we will send copies of the report to the Chairman, Subcommittee on Oversight of Government Management, Restructuring, and the District Page 27 GAO-01-1070 Human Capital of Columbia, Senate Committee on Governmental Affairs; the Chairman and Ranking Member, Senate Committee on Governmental Affairs; and the Chairman and Ranking Member, Subcommittee on Security, Proliferation, and Federal Services, Senate Committee on Governmental Affairs. We will also send copies to the Secretary of Veterans Affairs, the Secretary of Transportation, the Commissioner of Internal Revenue, the Director of the Office of Personnel Management, and the Administrator of FEMA. In addition, we will make copies available to others upon request. If you have any questions about this report, please contact me or Susan Ragland on (202) 512-6806. Others who contributed to this report were N. Scott Einhorn, Shirley Bates, Tom Beall, Gerard Burke, Renee Chafitz, Sharon Hogan, Cassandra Joseph, John Lesser, Michelle Sager, and Greg Whitney. Sincerely yours, J. Christopher Mihm Director, Strategic Issues Related GAO Products Managing For Results: Federal Managers' Views Show Need for Ensuring Top Leadership Skills (GAO-01-127, Oct. 20, 2001). Veterans Affairs: Status in Achieving Key Outcomes and in Addressing Major Management Challenges (GAO-01-752, June 15, 2001). Veterans Benefits: Training for Claims Processors Needs Evaluation (GAO-01-601, May 31, 2001). Managing For Results: Federal Managers' Views on Key Management Issues Vary Widely Across Agencies (GAO-01-592, May 25, 2001). Best Practices: DOD Teaming Practices Not Achieving Potential Results (GAO-01-510, Apr. 10, 2001). High-Risk Series: An Update (GAO-01-263, Jan. 2001).Major Management Challenges and Program Risks: Department of Transportation (GAO-01-253, Jan. 2001). Major Management Challenges and Program Risks: Department of the Treasury (GAO-01-254, Jan. 2001).Major Management Challenges and Program Risks: Department of Veteran Affairs (GAO-01-255, Jan. 2001). Major Management Challenges and Program Risks: Department of Veterans Affairs (GAO-01-255, Jan. 2001).Veterans Benefits Administration: Problems and Challenges Facing Disability Claims Processing (GAO/T-HEHS/AIMD-00-146, May 18, 2000). Veterans Benefits: Promising Claims-Processing Practices Need to be Evaluated (GAO/HEHS-00-65, Apr. 7, 2000).Veterans Benefits Administration: Progress Encouraging, but Challenges Still Remain (GAO/T-HEHS-99-77, Mar. 25, 1999). Related GAO Products Presorted Standard Postage & Fees Paid GAO Permit No. GI00 United States General Accounting Office Washington, D.C. 20548-0001 Official Business Penalty for Private Use $300 Address Correction Requested Hi, how are you? Fine. What's your name? Caroline Silva. Caroline Silva, I'll be asking you some questions. Uh, what stories do you remember that your family members used to tell you? Um, stories about when they were little. Any that you remember? Not really because I was, I think I was too young when they told me that, I don't exactly remember. But, like my mother's mother, my grandmother she like told us about how when she was very young and her mother die, so she had to go and work and help her family. And from when you were little do you remember somebody telling stories, other stories? Um. My mom used to tell us stories at night and they were sort of like be made up stories that she like made up sort of about the day so she used me and my sister's name in it and they'd be funny, because they weren't true but they had, like I was a character in them, and so was my sister and we can be anything from animals to humans. And it sort of told about what you did during the day and how you acted. Did you enjoy those stories? I did! Um, do you remember at what time she used to say that? Well, before we went to bed. But if it was, like too late already well, we didn't listen to them, we couldn't, she didn't tell them to us, because we had to go to bed, but whenever she had time she would tell us. Do you remember how your bedroom used to look when you were that, that young? No. Do you remem-- \\ But I shared it with my sister. I know that. \\ Uh huh. I think we lived in an apartment. And. -- What city? Miami, Florida. Uh huh. So you are from Miami? Yes. What about books? Do you remember reading books when you were young? Um, in kindergarten at five, my kindergarten teacher Mrs. Thorpe started teaching us how to read, and the alphabet and so we used to have these um, little books that had like a sentence or less per page and it had like a really big, big picture on every single page. So if you didn't understand what it said you could sort of comprehend with the picture and that got me interested in reading more. So I started reading bigger books little by little. Do you remember the names of those little books? Um, like some of them were like called Sam I Am. They didn't have more that a title, probably like three words in it. Uh hum. So you're saying you don't remember much about the house that you used to live? Yeah. Do you remember somebody telling you stories when you were little? When you were young? Yes. I don't remember exactly what the stories were but I know that like the grownups in the house, like during Christmas or reunions or whenever we saw each other, we would talk at the dinner table, and they like told about old times, and we'd laugh or any where; in the living room. But you don't remember any about yourself? Yes, um, like they used to tell me stories that went I was little I used to climb everywhere around the house. And one of them was that one time I wanted something on top of the bed that couldn't reach and so you said, my mom said to get, to find a way to get it, and so I don't remember what I grabbed, but I grabbed something and I climbed on top of the bed and I grabbed the thing that I wanted and I think they were like surprised because they didn't think that I would actually do it. Another one was when I think I was younger than that I was trying to climb up on a couch and my grandfather was like watching me behind me and he kept saying to everybody, "she's going to fall, she's going to fall, she's going to fall, she fell," because I did fall and everybody laughed and I think they took a picture of me when I was like climbing up the couch or whenever I was on that couch. But they sort of told me that from climbing all over the couches, I sort of ruined them. Uh oh. Do you like to read? Yes! What kind of readings? Fictional books, mainly, like about the future, that like make me think and wonder, and, you know, grab my attention. Will you say that you're a good reader? Yes. Why? Well mainly almost everybody does and I think I do read like really good. And like usually, like my sister comes up to me and once I'm done reading a book she'll go like, "How can you read that fast?" you know. What you mean fast? Well I can probably get a thick book and finish it in a day. It depends how long I like stay on it. And so, I mean everyone is different. Like she can't read that fast, but I can read that fast and understand what's in the book and don't have to read it again. Um, so that's what I mean by like I can read fast. Do you have a collection of books or do you have a lot of books at your house? Um, I have a certain collection that's called Animorphs. It's like one of those fictional type of futuristic type books and I like to collect them. I mean they're really easy books. But I like them and the author is K.A. Applegate and they're new, I mean they've been out for a while, but they're new compared to other books that have been out. Do you like to tell stories? Well-- To make a story? Well, yeah. I mean, sometimes I'm in the mood for it, sometimes I'm not, but I do like it. You like to what? I do, um, like to tell stories. OK. Do you, can you describe your bedroom? Um. When you walk in the door and you look to your left you see a desk and on the same wall as the door is a closet that's um, two sliding doors that you open and then my bed is horizontal to the room against the wall were my desk is, to the left of the room. And then if you look straight ahead from the doorway there is this really big window by the other wall, in front. And um, my walls are green. My room is rectangular and on my desk I have my collection of books that I was telling you about and on the top of my desk I have like stuff that I have collected from where I've been. And then in the middle shelf of my desk I have my religious type of stuff. I had my first communion type of stuff and then on the bottom shelf of my desk I have like my fun stuff, like my books I told you about and these statues that I have and pictures and stuff like that. Thank you very much. OK. Pleased. Hi how are you? Fine. What's your name? Ivonne Silva. How old are you Ivonne? Fourteen. Fourteen. Ivonne, I'll be asking you some questions. Uh, what stories do you remember family member telling you? Any family, family member. Uh, about their life, and like my grandmother used to tell me about when she lived in Colombia, South America and she used to go really early in the mornings with a group of people to church, with a group of older girls, and they would go on the bus and they would drink hot chocolate and bread every morning on Sundays. And then my dad told me about a time when he climbed up on the window and my grandmother came out and look at him and scared him and he fell down and rolled down the street because it was steep. And and, he talked about a time that he was trying to cut a tree or something and he cut his knee open. With what? Like an ax. Oh. Do you remember maybe your grandfather telling you stories? No. But I remember when my dad said he fell down and he hit his head in the, like a river because he dived in, and my grandmother dived in the same place and she hit herself there too. When she did that, when she was older? When she was young like teenager. And then later on in life her son did the same? Yeah. Yeah. In the same place? Yeah. Do you remember the name of that place? Poso Azul. Which means? Blue pond or something. Very good. Um, do you remember stories being told by other family member, maybe your mother? Yes. My mom told me stories. She would make up stories for us, my sister and I, at bedtime when we lived in Miami and she would tell us stories like, including like characters that were like us but we had different names and stuff, or we would be animals and they would have morals to them at the end and, or we would read books at night before going to bed. So this was in your bedroom? Yes. It was just your bedroom? Yes. Or somebody else's? No. Oh, oh it was my sister's and my room. Do you remember how it looked like? Can you describe it? Yes. It had a bed where you pull another bed out from under it and it had one of those like porch outside of it and it was a big room, and when you came in the front door to the apartment it would be down the left hallway. It would be the first door on the right. And do you remember stories about maybe somebody else in the family? Maybe that you can tell? Oh yeah! My sister when she was like four, she went into the walk-in closet in my parent's bedroom and she put baby powder all over herself and all over the clothes. And also in that same walk-in closet my sister and I, we would go in there and hide from my dad and when he got home from work and we would wait for him to come in and turn on the light and then when he walked in we'd scare him. Because we'd be hiding on the shoes and behind the clothes. Very good. Um. Do you like reading? Yes. I read a lot. What kind of books do you like to read? All type of books, but I have a collection. I collect um, Anne of Green Gables because I like it. Why, is there a favorite book? Or are those your favorite ones? I like those, yeah. All right, um. Do you like to tell stories? Yeah. I like writing stories and poems and I write them for school a lot and I'm part of a magazine to write stories and poems and we draw too, to put stories that students write in the magazine for school. Um. Do you have books now? We have a lot of books. At home? Yeah, we had a lot of different types of books and we have some books from when we were little too. Where do you keep them? Downstairs we have like a playroom is like a big TV room and we keep them down there on one half of it. What about your bedroom? Now do you share bedrooms with your sister? No, I have my own room and I have some books in there but not many because most of them are downstairs. Can you describe your bedroom? Yes. There is a bed, it's a full bed and it's got a desk and a dresser and a closet and a bunch of stuffed animals. \\ Oh. \\ Because I like stuffed animals, and it has two windows, and when you walk in, the bed is to your left and so is the dresser and the desk is to your left and right. Like, like-- What things do you have on your desk? Uh, I have a bunch of things. I have pictures of my pets and my family and I have books and I have medals and stuffed animals. OK, um, anything else that you would like to tell us? Things you like to do? I like to play my flute in the band. Oh that is nice. OK, thank you very much. You're welcome. Bye. OK. My name's Carmen Stack and I'm just going to tell a little bit about myself. Um, I was born in Charlotte, NC and I moved to Monroe, um, which is about forty-five minutes east of Charlotte, um, when I was about three. And I've grown up there pretty much all my life. I moved back to Charlotte to go to college and stayed there for four years and am still there. But, um, OK, but I live with my parents right now. I moved back in after I graduated college and I have a sister, she lives there, too. She's in high school. Her name is Ivy and she's going to turn seventeen in a couple weeks. And my grandmother lives next door and my grandfather works across the street from where we live so, we're all really close and pretty tight and, um, I'm real, I'm closer with my grandmother, um, which is my mom's mother, and, um, we do a lot of stuff together, go shopping, and go to lunch, and stuff everyday. So, um, but anyway, I guess I can tell a story about when I was little. I, OK, I, um, I have a lot of cats and I have a lot of dogs and so I love animals a lot. And, um, when I was probably about eight years old my mom and I, um, well we had two dogs, one was a Russian Wolfhound and one was just a little mutt-dog. But, um, we left them there by themselves with, uh, well like a bowl of food out, which usually we don't do, but we were going to go get some lunch and, um, we were gone for probably about twenty minutes. And we came back and, Mongoose was the little one and Tanya was the bigger dog, uh, but when we came back, we saw that Mongoose, uh, was bleeding from her eyes. Tanya had ripped her eye out, had bitten her eyeball out, um obviously over the food that we had left out on the floor. And so, obviously I was totally devastated and my mom was, too and so we rushed her to the vet and, um, they, everything was OK. Like they were able to save her but they couldn't put her eye back in, so they just kind of sewed it up and eventually it grew hair back over it. And, uh, she just had one eye with hair covering the other side. So it was pretty, it was funny, but she lived for another six years at least. So, but she was a good dog. And, but she did fine after that with just one eye, but, um, let's see I guess- Do you have any memories about many trips you used to take when you were little? Like to the beach or something? Um, yeah, well, um, we, my aunt Bebe had a beach house. Well, they always had like a condo that they had rented, or they owned a couple, um, when I was little. And, this was on my mom's side, and we would always, it would be like my aunts and my cousins and my grandmother. My, my grandfather died before I was born. Uh, he died when my mom was probably about eighteen so I never got to see or meet him. But, um, all of us and my mom and my sister and my dad and everybody would go to the beach and, um- What was it Myrtle Beach? Yeah, we'd go to Myrtle Beach. And, um, we would stay for probably about a week and we just had, we all had the best time. We, all the cousins were just really close, like we all were probably about the same age except for my sister, she was, she's seven years younger than me so-, and everybody else is older than me. I have a cousin that's, um, 31 now and Tara is, Rachel's 31, Tara's 28, Michael's 24, I'm 23 and my sister is 17. So, but, anyway, um, we all, we all got along really good and it was just, it was like one of the better times that we all had, that we all spent together for the year. And when it was time to go to the beach together it was just like, it was like great! We couldn't ever replace it. So, but, uh, I guess that's the- What would you do when you were at the beach? What was your favorite place? Well, we would all, well our favorite place, I mean we were pretty young, so our favorite place was like the Pavilion or going to walk on the strip or something. But, um, we, you know, during the day it was always the beach, going to the beach and playing on the beach, and laying out and then going shopping at the, um, like Broadway at the Beach or, um, Barefoot Landing. And we'd usually shop during the day and then at night we'd sit, well, food is like the main thing for our family. We center everything around eating dinner so, or eating a dinner, breakfast, dinner, or lunch. So, but, um, at night we'd always go to dinner and, um, to the Pavilion or else to go to the Grand Prix or, is that what it's called? And, um, stuff like that. Like the adults would always take us places and let us go and ride rides and stuff like that and we'd all go together as a big group and it was just a lot of fun. We were all really close and we still are. But, um- Was it, your, your grandmother does she, she sort of, you said, she kind of heads up the whole thing? Oh yeah. Sort of the matriarch? Yeah, she definitely is. She's like, she heads everything, like- Is she from Charlotte? Yeah well, yeah. She's from Charlotte. She was born and raised in Charlotte. And, uh, so, you know, she had all her, she had three children. And, um, my grandfather was, he's from Charlotte, too and all his family. And, um, but yeah, my grandmother, she's like the head of everything. She makes sure that we're all together for Thanksgiving and Christmas and Labor Day and New Year's Day and everything. She just always wants everything to be at her house and kind of be centered around her. So after she's gone I don't really know what we're going to do. It'll be kind of hard for us. But, ah, she's 74 and she's still going strong but actually yesterday she had a small stroke but she's, she's OK. She's better today. She's been in the hospital, but, um, she, they're just kind of giving her some physical therapy and stuff right now, just to kind of make sure she'll do OK. But she's strong. She'll make it through. You said, uh, you were telling me, she's, uh, got some funny sayings that she says and stuff? She's got some funny, like when-. You tell it! Oh wait, I'm trying, I think. I can't remember. Um, like- It's not worth something, something- Oh, um, yeah, but my grandmother she, yeah, she's got some funny sayings. Like she'll, well she, when she's referring to my cousin Michael, he's kind of like, he's kind of the, I guess, the black sheep of the family. You know, just, he's my cousin and he's a year older than me but he can't, he can't keep a job and he's just got a-. He fails a lot at pretty much everything he does. But she always says that he's not worth the powder to take to blow his ass away! So, But, um, you know, it's pretty funny, of course, he doesn't, he doesn't think it, it's funny but she, that's her favorite thing to say. But she, she'll about anything to anybody and it's kind of embarrassing sometimes. Straight shooter? But, yeah, she's just, she's straight on with you. She'll tell you like it is and if you don't like it then that's just too bad. But we've come to realize that's her and that's just the way it's going to have to be. But, um, um, so my next story, I guess I want to talk about, uh, I guess I'll move on to kind of high school era. Um, we were, it was, I guess there were probably about maybe seven or eight of us, but I was the only girl. I hung out with a lot of my guy friends. We were always out kind of doing "boy stuff," and I guess I wasn't really like a tomboy but I did like to go fishing and hang out with the guys and stuff. But anyway, um, we were riding, um, there were probably about eight of us, and we were riding in the back of the truck. And I, I was in the back. And, uh, you know, I just kind of, it was Andy's truck and he was driving. And, um, we were going to Lake Twitty, and I kind of just got volunteered into going with everybody. So we were going cat fishing, but, and the guys had some beer. And, um, so anyway, we were just riding along and we pulled into, uh, and, oh! Something that I left out, Daniel had a light that he had, would, like a big flashlight that he was shining, and, um, not a flashlight, a spotlight and it had a blue light in it, and he was kind of flashing it around and just playing around with it. And, um, we pulled into the road that takes us to the lake and all of a sudden we, a car followed us, uh, followed in behind us and it was like a 300ZX. And, um, we pulled in and we stopped and he got out and but, just he was just kind of, we couldn't see him because he had, he had his lights on, his brights. And, um, he said, "Why don't you, why don't you point that thing over here to see what I got?" And, uh, he had, he had a gun. And well, come to find out he was a police officer but he was off-duty and he was in an unmarked car. And, uh- Monroe? Monroe police? Yeah. Monroe police. And, uh, so he had pulled us over because we were flashing the light. And, um, so, you know, Daniel said that, you know, he was sorry. He didn't realize that we were causing any trouble. But, um, he had told us that, um, . So, he says to us that, um, he shows us his gun and he said that he had, he almost shot us. And he acted really nervous and jittery and he acted like, he came up to the car kind of close and he acted like he did want to shoot us. And, um, he, but he didn't really care that we had, that we had, um, beer and he didn't mind that we were all under age or he didn't even know because none of us were of age. And so, you know, he didn't act like he really wanted to fill any papers on us or anything. It was kind of, you know, it was just like it was really scary. We didn't really know, really know what to expect from him. We didn't know that he was a cop. We didn't find this out till probably about 10 or 15 minutes later, until he was about to leave. But, um, he just was really nervous acting. He, he was definitely scaring me because he acted like he wanted something to happen. He was really mad at us for doing that. But yet he wasn't calling any backup or anything like that. And he was alone and he just seemed kind of scary. But we found out probably about a year later, or we saw on the news that was a year later, he had been arrested for, um, murdering a girl, um, in, in Monroe. And he pulled her over and murdered, and found out or got arrested for murder. And, uh, now he's in NC State penitentiary. So I guess we were lucky that night. But- United States General Accounting Office Testimony GAO Before the Subcommittee on the Legislative Branch, Committee on Appropriations, U.S. Senate For Release on Delivery 10:00 a.m. EST May 10, 2001 FISCAL YEAR 2002 BUDGET REQUEST U.S. GeneralAccounting Office Statement of David M. Walker Comptroller General of the United States GAO-01-609T Mr. Chairman and Members of the Subcommittee: Good morning! As the Comptroller General of the United States, it is a pleasure to appear before you today to present the General Accounting Office's (GAO's) budget request for fiscal year 2002. I am proud to say that we served the Congress and the American people well in fiscal year 2000. Our work resulted in substantial financial savings and significant improvements to government that will benefit all Americans. I am confident that fiscal year 2001 will be just as productive. At the outset, I want to thank the Committee for its support in helping enact GAO's human capital legislation. This legislation will go a long way toward helping us address many of our human capital requirements and ensuring that GAO remains prepared to meet the Congress' needs in the future. We have issued implementing regulations for the early retirement and scientific and technical staff provisions and plan to issue authorizing regulations later this year to guide any potential future buy-outs and reductions-in-force. GAO's fiscal year 2002 budget request is critical to our continuing efforts to reorganize and reshape the agency, reengineer our business processes, and train and equip our staff with up-to-date technology to help meet Congress' current and future needs. Congressional mandates and requests continue to represent over 90 percent of our work, and our workload and productivity remain at near-record levels. Our budget request represents our needs--not wants--to sustain this level of effort and support to the Congress. Since becoming the Comptroller General at the beginning of fiscal year 1999, GAO's appropriations have been insufficient to fund mandatory and inflation expenses associated with employee compensation and benefits, and make needed investments in critical areas, such as technology, training, and performance recognition. We have managed our resource shortages by reducing our staffing levels and underfunding critical investments. We cannot, and should not, continue this trend. The funds we are requesting are essential to helping us remain prepared to meet the complex, controversial, and multidimensional issues and challenges confronting the Congress now and in the future. Our request includes only those funds we need to stabilize at our approved 3,275 fulltime equivalent staffing level and to incrementally increase investments needed in training, technology, performance recognition, and other key support items to a level consistent with best practices of other comparable government and private sector entities. Before I begin detailing our fiscal year 2002 budget needs, I would like to highlight some of GAO's accomplishments and achievements in fiscal year 2000 and the major challenges confronting us. A REVIEW OF GAO'S FISCAL YEAR 2000 ACCOMPLISHMENTS GAO had a tremendous year in fiscal year 2000. As a result of actions taken on our work by the Congress and federal departments and agencies, taxpayers benefited from over $23 billion in financial savings-a $61 return on every $1 invested in GAO. Our work also resulted in significant improvements in government operations and services that will benefit all Americans. Among other things, by acting on our recommendations, the government improved public health and safety, strengthened national security, better protected consumers, and improved its financial management and information systems. We also contributed critical information to public debates on Social Security and Medicare reform and called attention to looming problems, such as the security of government computer systems and the knowledge and skills needed in the federal workforce in coming years. Other indicators of our performance, such as the number of testimonies our senior executives provided and recommendations implemented, exceeded that of most recent years. I also am pleased to report that we made significant progress toward addressing many of the organizational, human capital, and information technology challenges that I outlined for you at last year's hearing. We had a very busy and productive year. Taxpayers Benefit from $23 Billion in Financial Savings In fiscal year 2000, GAO helped achieve about $23.2 billion in direct financial benefits for the American taxpayer. These benefits are a result of the Congress or federal departments and agencies implementing our recommendations to make government services more efficient, improve the budgeting and spending of tax dollars, and strengthen the management of federal resources. The estimated financial benefits include budget reductions, costs avoided, resources reallocated, and revenue enhancements. These results exceeded our target of $22 billion and were greater than that of the previous three fiscal years, as illustrated in the following graphic. Dollars in billions $23.2 24 $22.0 $20.9 $19.7 $20.1 20 16 12 8 4 0 19 97 1 998 1 999 2 00 0 200 0 Target F is cal years Some examples of GAO's work that contributed to these financial savings include the following. Helping to Prevent Fraud and Abuse in Medicare: GAO had long advocated increased funding specifically for activities to prevent fraud and abuse in the Medicare program. In 1996, the Congress passed the Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act, which provided the additional funding. As a result of these activities, the Medicare program's net savings were about $3 billion in fiscal year 2000. Cutting Costs of the F-22 Aircraft Program: In a series of reports beginning in the mid 1990s, GAO questioned various aspects of the Air Force's F-22 aircraft acquisition program. We reported that the acquisition strategy was risky and that the program was experiencing cost growth, manufacturing problems with test aircraft, and testing delays. Our analysis helped the Congress reduce the final fiscal year 2000 appropriation request for the F-22 by about $552 million and to identify conditions that should be met before the Department of Defense could begin full production. Supporting Oversight of the Internal Revenue Service (IRS): GAO continued to support congressional oversight of IRS' operations, including IRS' implementation of the 1998 IRS Restructuring and Reform Act, its budget requests, and administration of various tax functions. For example, our testimony on IRS' broad-based modernization efforts provided an integrated assessment of the challenges IRS continues to face in its tax enforcement and customer service operations and its modernization of performance management, information systems, and business practices. At the same time, our work generated savings and potential reductions in taxpayer burden. Our work on the improved use of information returns in IRS' tax enforcement operations yielded $83 million in savings this year. IRS also agreed to begin tracking information that has the potential of clarifying its notices to taxpayers and easing their task in complying with those notices. Recapturing Excess HUD Funding: GAO identified funding from several sources in the Department of Housing and Urban Development's budget, including unexpended balances no longer needed, that could be recaptured in fiscal years 1998 and 1999. The Congress rescinded $1.65 billion from the Section 8 housing program's fiscal year 1998 budget authority and rejected $1.3 billion of HUD's fiscal year 1999 request for housing assistance for a total reduction of $2.95 billion. Subsequently, GAO and HUD worked together to revise HUD's analysis to show that, by using recaptured funds, HUD had sufficient funding to meet its needs. Almost 800 Actions Taken To Improve Government Operations or Services GAO's recommendations and audit findings also resulted in or contributed to many improvements in the effectiveness and efficiency of government operations and services during fiscal year 2000. While immeasurable in dollar terms, they contributed to improving public safety and consumer protection, establishing more effective and efficient government operations, and safeguarding the nation's physical and information infrastructure. We recorded 788 actions taken in response to our recommendations to improve how the federal government operates, a number far exceeding that of the preceding 3 years as illustrated in the following graphic. 788 800 607 620 537 600 Number of actions 391 400 200 0 1997 1998 1999 2000 2000 Target Fiscal year Examples of GAO's work that resulted in these accomplishments follow. Improving Nursing Home Quality of Care: The Health Care Financing Administration (HCFA) and several states-including California, Maryland, and Michigan-improved their oversight and enforcement of nursing homes' quality of care standards in response to GAO's recommendations highlighting weaknesses in existing processes. Improvements included increased funding for nursing home surveyors, more prompt investigation of complaints alleging serious harm to residents, more immediate enforcement actions for homes with repeated serious problems, a reorganization of HCFA's regional staff to improve consistency in oversight, and increased funding for administrative law judges to reduce the backlog of appealed enforcement actions. Managing Wildfire Prevention: -Federal Experts Saw Massive Wildfires Coming" read an August 7, 2000, news headline. The article was referring to GAO's April 1999 report on wildfires. Since then, GAO has used the increased risk of uncontrollable and often catastrophic wildfires as an example of the need for "strategic budgeting" to address issues that are not aligned with the current budget and organizational structures of the four major federal land management agencies. Responding to the wildfires that burned over 6.5 million acres of public and private land in 2000, the Congress appropriated an additional $240 million in fiscal year 2001 to reduce hazardous fuels in high-risk locations where wildlands and urban areas meet. GAO testified on the need for the four land management agencies to act quickly to develop a framework to spend funds effectively and to account accurately for what they accomplish with the funds. Improving Human Capital Practices: Our work on human capital issues helped focus the attention of the executive and legislative branches on the importance of these issues, particularly in managing for results. We helped spur the administration to make human capital a priority management objective in the fiscal year 2001 budget submission, and our framework for human capital self-assessment is being used at other agencies, including the Social Security Administration, Small Business Administration, National Aeronautics and Space Administration, and Environmental Protection Agency. The framework also is used throughout GAO to help guide our research and development work and our congressionally driven examinations of how well agencies are pursuing strategic human capital management in support of their missions and goals. We have designated strategic human capital management as one of the federal government's high risk areas in our 2001 Performance and Accountability Series and High-Risk Update. Strengthening Information Security: GAO has evaluated the security of critical information systems at federal agencies and recommended numerous improvements, most recently at three Treasury agencies, the Department of Energy, Department of Veterans Affairs, and the Environmental Protection Agency. In September 2000, GAO issued a governmentwide perspective on federal information security that covered Inspector General and GAO audit findings reported since July 1999. We concluded that weak security continues to be a widespread problem that places critical and sensitive federal operations at risk of tampering, disruption, and inappropriate disclosure. In October 2000, government information security reform provisions were enacted into law to strengthen information security practices throughout the government. Stabilizing the Balkans: Despite the presence of two large forces led by the North Atlantic Treaty Organization, the Balkans remain volatile. GAO's work has shown that the international operations in Bosnia and Kosovo face severe obstacles to achieving enduring peace and stability. Most local leaders and members of their respective ethnic groups have not embraced the political and social reconciliation needed to build multiethnic, democratic societies. Our work also has shown that the international community has not provided the resources that the United Nations mission in Kosovo says it needs, particularly for building a civilian police force. If progress is not made with these matters, violence may escalate or armed conflict may result. Requests for GAO Testimony and Implementation of Recommendations Increased In fiscal year 2000, the number of times that GAO's senior executives testified before the Congress and the rate at which our recommendations were implemented exceeded that of most recent years. Because GAO's primary function is to support the Congress in carrying out its decision-making and oversight responsibilities, the number of times our experts testify before congressional panels each year is an indicator of our responsiveness and reflects the impact, importance, and value of our work. In fiscal year 2000, GAO officials testified 263 times before 104 different House and Senate Committees and Subcommittees, more than half of all congressional committees and subcommittees. Our experts testified on a broad range of issues of national importance, including arms control, health care, Social Security, human capital, nuclear waste cleanup, wildfire prevention, aviation safety and security, international trade, computer security, financial management and reform, and budget issues. Our assistance to the Congress at public hearings continues to remain high, as illustrated below. However, it is clear that the number of congressional oversight hearings and other GAO testimony opportunities will decline significantly in fiscal year 2001 as a result of factors beyond our control. Among these include the slow start of the 107th Congress due to the power sharing arrangements in the Senate, closer margins and committee leadership changes in the House, and delay in filling many Bush Administration policy positions. Number of testimonies 256 263 270 229 230 182 180 90 0 1997 1998 1999 2000 2000 Target Fiscal year We also exceeded our performance of previous years with respect to the rate at which the recommendations we made 4 years ago were implemented. We use a 4-year interval because our historical data show that agencies often need time to take action on our recommendations. By the end of fiscal year 2000, 78 percent of the recommendations we made in fiscal year 1996 had been implemented. As illustrated in the graphic below, this rate exceeds that of the preceding 3 years. Implemented recommendations correct the underlying causes of problems, weaknesses in internal controls, failures to comply with laws or regulations, or other matters impeding effective and efficient performance. Percent of recom m en dations im plem ented 74 7378 80 69 70 60 40 20 0 1997 1998 1999 2000 2000 Target Fiscal year Significant Progress Made Addressing Management and Operational Issues Last year, I outlined for you a number of major management and operational challenges facing GAO. These challenges included human capital, information technology, organizational, job processes, and communication issues within the agency. I am pleased to report that we made significant progress toward addressing many of these issues. We continued to enhance our effectiveness and efficiency through a variety of means during fiscal year 2000, including issuing a strategic plan, establishing congressional protocols, realigning the agency, implementing key human capital initiatives, and increasing the use of information technology. These efforts to enhance and strengthen GAO and its services to the Congress and the American people include the following. In the Spring of 2000, we issued our first strategic plan for the 21st century based on input from the Congress and supplemented by GAO's own expertise and other outreach efforts. The plan focuses on how we intend to support the Congress in helping to shape a more efficient and effective government. It describes our role and mission in the federal government; the core values that guide our work; the trends, conditions, and external factors underlying our plan; and our goals, objectives, and strategies for serving the Congress. Our intent is to update the strategic plan every 2 years for each Congress. We established a set of congressional protocols to govern our interactions with and ensure our accountability to the Congress. These protocols, which underwent a 9month pilot test, set out clear, transparent, consistently applied policies and practices for GAO's relations with the Congress to reduce miscommunication and ensure that all requesters are treated equitably. The final protocols were issued in November 2000. We continued our outreach efforts to understand how best to meet congressional needs and assist the Congress in using our resources and services. During each Congress, I and other GAO executives plan to meet with the leadership of the Senate and House, all Committee Chairs and Ranking Minority Members, and Members of our oversight and appropriations committees to obtain feedback on our performance and information needed to update our strategic plan. We issued our first-ever Accountability Report to the Congress discussing our performance and accountability in serving the Congress and the American people in fiscal year 1999. The report reviews our accomplishments in meeting our mission and sustaining our core values of accountability, integrity, and reliability. We also issued a performance plan for fiscal year 2001 that contains the performance measures and annual performance targets we will use to gauge progress toward accomplishing our strategic goals and objectives. We also realigned the agency to better support the Congress and prepare ourselves with current and expected resource levels to meet the future challenges outlined in our strategic plan. To align GAO's structure with the goals in our strategic plan, we reorganized both our field and headquarters operations. The changes were primarily designed to better align our resources with our strategic plan, eliminate a layer of managerial hierarchy, reduce the number of organizational units, increase internal and external coordination activities with the Congress and other accountability organizations, clarify the roles and responsibilities of management, increase the number of personnel who perform rather than manage or review work, and increase the critical mass and enhance the flexibility of field resources. We also began implementing a range of new and enhanced human capital and information technology strategies to position GAO for future success. Thanks to the Congress, we now have legislative authority that provides us greater flexibility to effectively manage our human capital. This legislation, enacted into law in October 2000, grants us the authority to establish new senior-level scientific and technical positions; offer targeted voluntary early-outs and buy-outs; and carry out reductions in force to downsize, realign, or correct skills imbalances within our agency. We have issued implementing regulations for early-outs and the scientific and technical positions and plan to issue buy-out and reductions-in-force authorizing regulations later this year. Other accomplishments within the human capital area include: Completion of a first-ever electronic knowledge and skills assessment and inventory that is being used to help identify skill gaps and succession planning needs within the agency. In addition, staff completed an employee preference survey that is being used along with the results of the knowledge and skills inventory to meet our institutional work needs while accommodating staff preferences for engagements to the extent possible. Significant recruiting and college relations efforts on the nation's campuses. Aggressive efforts are underway to attract, recruit, and hire high-caliber staff with the skills and abilities needed to assist GAO in achieving our strategic goals and objectives. Revised performance standards for all staff that incorporate GAO's core values and strategic goals, update descriptions of performance to better reflect the current nature of GAO's work, and include key management and performance concepts, such as leadership by example, client service, and measurable results. Also, during fiscal year 2000, we began a major initiative to develop a competency-based performance appraisal system for analysts to reflect prevailing best practices. In fiscal year 2001, we will begin updating the performance systems for attorneys and mission support staff to reflect prevailing best practices. Enhanced internal communications that remain a vital tool for change management throughout the agency. Throughout fiscal year 2000, I conducted a number of telecasts to all agency staff to discuss GAO's strategic plan and congressional protocols, client service, employee survey results, initiatives to enhance the agency's human capital programs and legislative proposals, work processes, organizational alignment, information technology, and other areas of interest to the staff. Also, to engage our employees more fully in improving the agency's performance, we established the Comptroller General's Employee Advisory Council to discuss current and emerging issues of mutual interest and concern and implemented an employee suggestion program that received more than 800 submissions in its first year of operation. We also made significant gains in strengthening and improving our operations and processes in fiscal year 2000. We implemented two new management strategies: risk management and matrix management. GAO's risk management approach allows management to identify and involve key stakeholders throughout an engagement to transcend traditional organizational boundaries to maximize institutional value and minimize related risks. GAO's matrix management approach maximizes our value to the Congress by leveraging the knowledge, skills, and experience of all employees to ensure the highest quality products and services and to help the Congress address the challenging, complex, multidimensional problems facing the nation. Throughout fiscal year 2000, we also continued to improve our use of information technology as a tool for productivity and knowledge management. To provide our teams of analysts with a mechanism for simplifying and standardizing their work, we launched the Electronic Assistance Guide for Leading Engagements--the EAGLE, which is a prototype of a comprehensive Webbased guide to conducting GAO engagements. We also continued to enhance the capabilities of our computer network and successfully made our systems Y2K compliant. In addition, we began a number of projects on enabling technologies, including software upgrades, the deployment of notebook computers, and improved remote access to allow teams to work more efficiently in the field. Also, to carry out GAO's responsibilities under the Presidential Transition Act of 2000, we developed a separate section on our Internet web site with links to key GAO contacts and reports on the major executive branch agencies, which was completed at the beginning of fiscal year 2001. FISCAL YEAR 2001 PLANS AND FUTURE CHALLENGES During fiscal year 2001, we will continue to focus our work on the major issues facing the Congress, including Social Security solvency, education, economic development, Medicare reform, national security, international affairs, and government management reforms and computer security. Another top priority this year will be working with leaders on the Hill to help the Congress strengthen its approach to oversight, with an emphasis on looking hard at what government does, how it does it, and the long-term consequences of today's policy choices. GAO's 2001 Performance and Accountability Series and High-Risk Update will serve as a solid foundation for congressional oversight. Also, as I mentioned earlier, we have several key initiatives in progress to improve how we serve the Congress, among them an expanded client feedback system; protocols governing our dealings with federal agencies; new high-level advisory bodies to gain the expertise of business leaders, former Cabinet officials, and other experts; and new avenues for sharing our own expertise with other accountability organizations. We also are preparing to carry out two new responsibilities mandated by the previous Congress. We will chair a panel to review the government's A-76 process for obtaining services through competitive sourcing. Also, if the needed funding is provided, we will review the costs and benefits of major regulations under the Truth in Regulating Act (P.L. 106-312, Oct. 17, 2000). We have a request pending for $2.6 million in supplemental funding for fiscal year 2001 and are requesting $5.2 million for fiscal year 2002 to meet the requirements created by the Truth in Regulating Act. Internally, we will continue to emphasize initiatives to address our two major management challenges: human capital and information technology. With about 80 percent of our resources devoted to staff salary and benefits, the area of human capital presents a major challenge. A significant percentage of our workforce is nearing retirement age, while marketplace, demographic, economic, and technological changes indicate that competition for skilled workers will be greater in the future. With our agency realigned to facilitate our work for the Congress and new legislative authority in hand to manage our workforce more effectively, we are pursuing several initiatives to strengthen our human capital. For example, we are recruiting diverse, highcaliber staff with the skills and abilities we need to achieve our strategic goals and objectives. We will be putting into place a competency-based performance appraisal system and using the results of our staff knowledge and skills inventory to help us in workforce planning. We also have reestablished and are expanding training opportunities for our staff-from the senior executives to the new hires. Another major management challenge is building an integrated and reliable information technology (IT) infrastructure that supports the achievement of our goals. We are conducting a comprehensive IT review to identify opportunities to increase our efficiency, effectiveness, and productivity. We also are mapping our business processes to our IT architecture and will link future IT investments to our business goals. In addition, we plan to continue initiatives to increase our employees' productivity, maximize the use of technology, and enhance the Webbased knowledge-sharing applications on the desktop. Last, we also must heighten the security of our network. FY 2002 BUDGET REQUEST To fully support the Congress as outlined in our strategic plan and the additional congressional mandates received since its issuance, we are requesting a budget for fiscal year 2002 of about $430.3 million. This funding level will allow us to support and staff to our approved level of 3,275 full-time equivalent personnel. We will increase our emphasis on areas of congressional and public interest and, internally, will continue to emphasize initiatives to address our two major management challenges: human capital and information technology. Our request also includes $5.2 million to carry out new responsibilities created by the Truth in Regulating Act. In addition, we are seeking a nominal increase in GAO's representation expenses, from $10,000 to $12,500, to accommodate our expanded role with both domestic and international accountability organizations. Additional funding in fiscal year 2002 is being requested for: mandatory pay and benefit costs resulting primarily from federal cost-of-living and locality pay adjustments, based on Office of Management and Budget (OMB) guidance, increased participation in the Federal Employees Retirement System, and an increase in the estimated number of retirees--$17,554,000; uncontrollable inflationary increases in transportation, lodging, postage, printing, supplies, contracts, and other essential mission support services, based on OMB's 2percent inflation index and other factors--$1,565,000; and uncontrollable contract rate increases in building operations and maintenance and information technology programs--$1,453,000. Funding of $8,004,000 for salaries and benefits also is being requested to staff and support our approved 3,275 full-time equivalent staffing level. We plan to use these resources to enhance our review efforts in areas of congressional and public interest and concern, such as government computer security, Social Security solvency, education, economic development, Medicare reform, and international affairs. The additional funds requested also would be used to continue initiatives begun in fiscal year 2000 that are critical to supporting the Congress and the goals and objectives identified in our strategic plan. These initiatives include human capital initiatives and enabling technological advances to enhance the performance and productivity of our workforce as follows. Human capital initiatives--$3,324,000: Enabling technology initiatives to increase employee productivity, maximize the use of technology, and enhance employee tools available at the desktop, including such initiatives as reengineering business processes, upgrading hardware and software applications, expanding our videoconferencing capabilities, and implementing a best practices network security program--$2,585,000. Other efforts include: Enhancing security and removing asbestos within the GAO Building to protect the health and safety of our most important asset-our staff--$2,839,000; Upgrading GAO's computer security facility to ensure our continued ability to conduct effective, comprehensive computer security controls testing of complex, diverse, and interconnected executive branch systems and to attract and retain skilled, technical staff--$750,000; Enhancing the International Organization of Supreme Audit Institution's efforts to combat government related corruption around the world, multi-lateral training efforts with eastern-bloc and selected South and Latin American countries, and bilateral assistance to Russia--$250,000; and Contracting for the development of a requirements document to be used along with other legislative branch agencies to jointly procure and share a common financial management system--$250,000. In addition, as previously mentioned, we are requesting $5.2 million to provide the annual funding requirement specified in the Truth in Regulating Act. BUDGET REQUEST CRITICAL TO SUSTAINING EXISTING LEVEL OF SERVICE TO THE CONGRESS The resources we are requesting for fiscal year 2002 are critical to addressing our human capital and information technology challenges and ensuring our ability to effectively meet the increasing congressional requests for GAO services. We have reached a point that if sufficient funding is not received to address these issues and properly support our staff, we will need to take actions that will negatively impact our service and responsiveness to the Congress. Congressional demand for GAO services continues to increase. For example, as illustrated below, the number of engagements begun as a result of a congressional request has increased during the past 4 years. These numbers do not include hundreds of other requests that had not yet been started. We have worked hard over the past 3 years with available resources to significantly increase our productivity levels to successfully meet increasing congressional demand. For example, we realigned our organization, reengineered many of our business processes, retooled our engagement and risk management practices, revised our performance appraisal and recognition systems, and updated our information technology infrastructure. However, we have reached a point that significant additional productivity gains are unlikely without sufficient funding to further enhance our human capital and information technology programs. We are concerned about our ability to continue to increase our productivity levels, sustain our return on investment, and meet future congressional demands given the recent trend in our funding levels. Since becoming the Comptroller General at the beginning of fiscal year 1999, I have not asked for any increase in our approved 3,275 full-time equivalent staffing level. I have only requested the funding necessary to properly maintain and support this staffing level and cover mandatory expenses, including inflation and compensation costs. However, as illustrated in the following graphic, the funding GAO received has been significantly less than what we requested and needed to support our approved staffing level. In order to cover our mandatory expenses during the past 3 years, we had to staff well below our approved staffing level, as illustrated below, and delayed or made reduced investments in important human capital and information technology initiatives. As a result of these funding shortfalls and the mandated funding reductions in the mid-1990s, our training, performancebased recognition and rewards programs are not where they need to be. Consequently, we are at a competitive disadvantage with the executive branch in some areas, such as performance rewards. In addition, we have some management information systems that are obsolete and incapable of interfacing within our network environment and a variety of software that needs to be upgraded to ensure continued vendor maintenance and support. We cannot continue down this path. We have reached the point at which investments in these critical programs and other areas must be made in order to effectively support our staff and provide the high level of service expected and required by the Congress. 3,400 3,325 3,275 3,275 3,275 3,192 3,155 3,000 1999 2000 2001 Fiscal year FTEs Requested FTEs Used The funds we are requesting are critical to addressing our succession planning challenges and enhancing the knowledge, skills, and abilities of our workforce. A large percentage of our workforce will become eligible for retirement within the next 5 years. More than 35 percent of our analysts and 50 percent of our senior executives will be retirement eligible within that time period. We need to aggressively continue our efforts to hire new staff, develop existing staff, and otherwise build the future GAO. In order to be competitive in attracting, hiring, and retaining high caliber and talented staff, we need to be able to further enhance our human capital programs. Thus, the funding we are requesting for training, performance-based recognition and compensation programs, education loan repayments, mass transit subsidy allowance, and enabling technology is critical. Without such funding, we will not be competitive in attracting and retaining the best, brightest, and expertise needed to effectively serve the Congress in addressing the complex, controversial, and multidimensional issues and challenges it faces each year. If the funding trend of the past 3 years is continued, we will need to restrict our work to only responding to requests from committees and subcommittees, thus severely limiting-and potentially eliminating-work done for individual members. Such a restriction also would further reduce the limited flexibility we have to research and develop expertise on emerging issues, thereby limiting our ability to respond to the Congress when related issues arise on short notice. For example, were it not for the advance research and development work we had done on computer security, China, the World Trade Organization, and last year's presidential election issues, we would have been unable to be responsive to the congressional requests and public debates on these real time, event driven issues. We need sufficient funding to build and ensure we have the capacity and expertise to address such emerging issues on short notice in the future. s E T F f o r 3,200 e b m u N CONCLUDING REMARKS Fiscal year 2000 was a tremendous year of accomplishment and achievement for GAO a year of great service to the Congress and of great benefit to the American taxpayer. We have made significant progress in addressing many of the areas in need of improvement in GAO and need to continue these efforts. The resources we are requesting for fiscal year 2002 are critical to sustaining our high-level of performance and service to the Congress. We are the nation's and possibly the world's leading accountability organization. We need these additional resources to continue our efforts to further strengthen GAO and be a model organization for the rest of the federal government and accountability organizations around the world. In addition, given GAO's impressive results and return on investment, it only makes sense for GAO to receive resource allocations that are well above average for other federal entities. To do otherwise would send a troubling message to GAO's employees, the press, and the public. We look forward to your continued support and working even more closely with you and your staff this year and in fiscal year 2002. This concludes my statement. I would be pleased to respond to any questions that the Members of the Subcommittee may have. Orders by Internet For information on how to access GAO reports on the Internet, send an email message with "info" in the body to info@www.gao.gov or visit GAO's World Wide Web home page at http://www.gao.gov To Report Fraud, Waste, and Abuse in Federal Programs Web site: http://www.gao.gov/fraudnet/fraudnet.htm Email: fraudnet@gao.gov Automated answering system: 18004245454 ( ) I hope it come out well. Well, we will tell a story about the, my mother and her sister and my grandfather, grandmother and the other five children went down to Chattanooga, where they had been raised in a place called Sequatchie Valley and my grandfather worked for the railroad. Uh so they had families and friends and they would go back and forth and visit and drive from Charlotte to Chattanooga, TN and back. Now it takes about five hours; used to take about a day and a half, I suppose. Um, the one day, were coming back, coming down the highway, uh they ran into some chickens and evidently hit a chicken and drove them back to Charlotte some distance, and when they go home from GA, coming back through GA, they got out of the car and there was a chicken, uh dead up against the radiator of the car. So naturally they got out of the car, took the chicken, and plucked the chicken, and boiled, uh, it, and cooked it, and had it for supper that night. The other is a story about our history of, I was married, um, Kaye and she seemed a quiet young lady from well-reserved family Presbyterian heritage. And later in life I found that her father when he was a young man rode a motorcycle. And in those days people that rode motorcycles around Charlotte were probably more rambunctious sort. He had an uncle out in CA, and so he rode his motorcycle from Charlotte, NC up to CA, um, not sure but maybe in Los Angeles area. And there he went in search of his uncle. His uncle had been into some kind of mischief and had been put in jail. He was serving on what we used to call chain gang and take your leg, put a clip around it and chain a ball on one end and then give you a shovel or rake or a pick he'd go out and maintain the highways. Well my wife's father found where his uncle was located and where he was working So in an opportune time he rode his motorcycle and got his uncle to hop on the back of the motorcycle and they headed for NC. And so, he helped his uncle escape the chain gang and after they got back in NC his uncle became sick, and within about three months, uh died from tuberculosis. And that's a story of my wife side of family not a story from my side of the family. RECORDING PAUSED THEN RESUMED In the early part of. Uh-huh. To, uh, that didn't have orphanages and things and so when a family, parents would die or someone couldn't take care of the children. Uh-huh. They would, uh, give them to another family to raise. Um. So my great grandfather, uh, adopted grandfather-- Uh. --by common law. Um. He had some other brothers and sisters, and they went to other homes, but when his parents died. Uh-huh. My great grandfather did not have any children. Uh. Great grandmother did not have any children so they adopted my grandfather and they had a large farm, uh, and my great grandfather was very industrious. Um. And so they farmed the farm and then they set up a touring company and they bought automobiles and they would go up to NY and pick people up and drive them down to FL. Um. For vacation back and forth and it was a time when they didn't have glass windows in the car they had what we called "isinglass" which was not plastic but was made out of a \\material \\. \\ Oh. \\ That rolled up. Uh. Or that they could hang a-- Uh. So they would drive the folks back and forth from FL and then he created a construction company and in the First World War. Uh-huh. Went out and built the roads to go to a large camp that was here in Charlotte. Um. And so my father and my grandfather at that time, uh, were in involved in laying the, putting the road. Um. Into a military camp. Uh my grandfather had seven boys and three girls so they had a very large family they all worked on the farm and he educated his, most of his children, my father went to the seventh grade and quit school. Uh-huh. But his other brothers and sisters went on through school and went to uh, uh college. \\One\\ \\Uh. \\ One studied to be a doctor, there was an electrician, a minister. Uh. There was a banker. Uh-huh. Uh, and so they had different positions but the tradition of my great, great grandfather and grandfather carried on to the children and my father who was not very well education. Uh-huh. Was an industrious man and he developed his own company. Uh-huh. Made his own way in life and became a member of school board. Uh-huh. He went to the seventh grade and quit, and yet when he, um was older, and in business-- Uh-huh. --he was chairman of the local school board. Uh-huh. Where he went to school, although he never graduated , and also the next two higher schools. Uh. He was on those boards. Oh. He used to kid and say that he went to, uh-- Several schools. No he, he would go they would ask him, when the businessmen would ask him what fraternity he was a member of. Uh-huh. And he would always say "Hodskins" which was the name of the school where he where went. Uh. Up to the seventh grade. And they'd say, "What Greek letter is that?" and he'd say, "It's not Greek it's Southern." Hodskins fraternity. Uh. They kidded a lot in the family, played practical jokes on one another. Um. My father bought a mule that wouldn't-- Um. --work for anyone but him. Uh-huh. And he would rent out the mule for people to plow their gardens and they would be so frustrated they would take the mule off to plow their garden and the mule wouldn't do anything. And they would bring him back home and fuss at him. Uh. Then he would laugh and give them their money back . My great, my grandfather-- Uh. --developed the farm they were using into a residential area. Uh-huh. And he was good at doing things with his hands and some business but he took a lot tried to be a banker and he couldn't be banker because he built homes for people then financed the homes. Uh-huh. And uh he took the second mortgage. Uh-huh. And when the Depression came along back in the 1930's, uh, all those homes were taken over by the banks and he was left without anything and he was destitute. Uh. When he died he was very poor. Oh. But he had been fairly wealthy along the way. Uh. In that community ( ). And he named the streets in the community for his children he named, the name, the name of the community was Thomasborough which he named after the family. Thomas. Tom. They had, uh, a large, uh, home on the peak of the hill. Uh-huh. And, uh, they would ring a big dinner bell. Uh-huh. And the women would prepare for the workers and maybe they would have 50 workers come back and eat lunch behind the, um, house. Uh-huh. Out on the grass so when my grandmother and grandfather died the oldest son came through. He took the dinner bell and carried it off to his house he never used the dinner bell but it was a large bell like a church bell. Um. Uh, they met together as a community and they founded a church and they met in a place called the Cannery. Um. They built a large building put in pots to cook with and the people who had local farms could go there. Uh. And cook their food and put them in cans and jars. Uh- huh. And so it was a cannery and they started meeting at the cannery. Oh. Uh and then later built, built the church there in the community. Oh. It seems I don't know much about my family's history tree because since people choose not to tell stories I hear people choose to preserve the history and tell the stories so since that everybody here could tell stories about their family grandfather great grandfather well. And the house his great grandfather lived in had a step. Uh-huh. Out front that was made of slate. Uh, slate? Slate. Yes. And it that it's carved 1785. Uh-huh. That it could have been well that's what was that's what's in it and that's our front step at the front door. Oh. You move it here the slate? Uh-huh you'll have to look at it. It's a step and it has in it is it 1785? Oh. Not quite sure. That would have been your great grandfather. It would have been before me. Way, way back but it was at your great grandfather's house. Uh-huh. The house yeah. And the house burned down. Uh. And that was one of the few things that uh. Uh-huh.KT: A piece of slate couldn't burn. Uh. And Lamar's mother and father had it at their house out in the yard just on the ground at a tree . Uh. So when we built this house we made our, we planned it so. Uh. It was the length of this piece of slate so that's from his great grandfather's house. My grandfather's house in front of the it's like a yard square yard and at the end at the gate there is a pair of stone lions. Oh. And that's are very popular in China. Uh-huh. Lions seem to be the-- The male and the \\ female with the paw? \\ \\ Yeah the male and the female\\ yeah with a ball. A ball. Yeah One is, uh, holding the ball with \\ a paw. \\ \\ A paw. \\ The other is-- Holding it. Having the ball in the mouth. Oh. Or it seems to be like it seems to be protecting the prosperity and also, uh, just a sign of peace and prosperity and dignity for the, the family I think we have long history but nobody tells the story. I'm sure they do ( ) much further back than our ancestors. That's because the, the, you remember, uh, I don't know whether you went to that park or not. That park very small but with a lot of, of handwriting Asian handwriting carved on, on slate too you, \\you didn't go\\ to the park. \\ In. ( ) \\ Not it has a lot of flowers? \\ ( )\\ \\ Lotus\\ it should it should be called Lotus Park. \\ Oh yeah we did not go there. \\ \\ We did not go. \\ because when we were there the, the greenery and all was gone. Oh, oh yeah not the right time \\ summer should be the right time\\. \\ So we did not go to Lotus Park\\. That's a that's a-- I've seen \\ several pictures of it \\ in summertime. \\ Well the lady's house we went\\ to the other night. Oh yeah Nancy and John took that picture and she, she published \\ that article\\. \\ Newspaper. \\ \\In the newspaper \\ we saw that. Yeah in the newspaper January 1999 that is a park built in 600 and 72 or something like that it's even 1000 more year . ( ) One more thousand but nobody tells a story about that it's just not the tradition anymore. Well I think part of that is when you had the Cultural Revolution. Yeah I , I think so because-- So many people didn't want to \\ let their history be known. \\ \\ So many is feudal \\ because a lot of things like the lions some people were saying is the symbol of feudalism because it protect the emperor, emperor or empress-- ( ) In some things so people just choose not to tell stories it seems that as soon as, uh, the new nation is was established, everything should take a new look and-- ( ) We just a cut off and say bye, bye to the history. Ooh I loved hearing the stories of the emperors though. Uh-huh. And all the concubines. Concubines? The mistresses. Wives. The wives. Oh. Understanding Where They're Coming From Hotline offers aid and advice to Asian immigrants who find themselves in desperate situations and don't know where to turn. Erin Chan Sunday, July 14, 2002 Kim Luu and her six co-workers never see the callers' faces. They will never meet 42-year-old Tranh Tran and her cash-strapped Westminster family, never hug the terrified 70-year-old woman who has just been evicted and never personally comfort the battered women seeking divorces but petrified of losing their immigration status. But they've talked. And that's enough to touch the callers' lives. Luu and her colleagues work at a toll-free hotline, the Asian Language Legal Intake Project. They use their language skills and experiences--Luu's family fled North Vietnam when she was an infant--to add resonance to their advice. With their fluent Vietnamese and Mandarin, they help Tran understand her family's eligibility for Medi-Cal and food stamps, assist the 70-year-old woman in finding a place to live and advise abused women how they can stay in the country while staying away from their husbands. Through the free hotline, which officially made its debut last week, Luu and other project employees calm anxious callers and even elicit laughs from those who don't know where else to turn. "These people are desperate for information," said Juliet Stone, 29, the project's supervising attorney. "This is so needed in the community." The project links four legal service organizations in Los Angeles and Orange counties--the Asian Pacific American Legal Center, the Legal Aid Foundation of Los Angeles, Neighborhood Legal Services and the Legal Aid Society of Orange County. Callers dial (800) 267-7395 for Vietnamese-language assistance, or (800) 520- 2356 for Mandarin. An employee records personal information and determines, on the basis of income and place of residence, if a caller is eligible for assistance. After a two-month pilot program, the hotline is now in full operation. Plans are to expand the effort to include Korean and Khmer, the main Cambodian language, by next year. A confused Tran called Luu a few weeks ago seeking advice on Medi-Cal, a term she had heard since arriving two months ago from Ho Chi Minh city, the former Saigon. "A lot of these people come from an inherently repressive regime," Luu said. "They don't think of going to the government for assistance and public benefits." Luu recorded Tran's basic information and described Medi-Cal's medical assistance programs, advising Tran of her rights and finding a location close to Tran's Westminster home where she could apply. The hotline staff can elicit information that would be difficult, if not impossible, in English. Luu recently spent an hour on the phone with a distraught woman. "She just kept crying," Luu said. "We have to be extremely patient with them." The woman had called the day before she was to be evicted from her apartment. After coaxing information from the woman, Luu called the elder-abuse hotline. Although the woman was evicted, Luu's resourcefulness and a social worker's efforts found her a place at a senior citizens facility. "We're looking for a new way of serving the underserved community," said Bob Cohen, executive director of the Legal Aid Society of Orange County. "Anything we can do to get out in the community, to make folks aware of how easy it is to get service, that they won't be ripped off, is important.... " According to census data, the Vietnamese population in Orange County jumped by nearly 89% between 1990 and 2000, while the Chinese population increased by 44%. In Los Angeles County, the Vietnamese population rose nearly 25% in the decade, while the Chinese population leaped by more than 34%. More than 1.5 million Asians and Pacific Islanders now live in the two counties. Many have little or no English skills. Stewart Kwoh, president of the Asian Pacific American Legal Center, said the idea of a hotline had been tossed around for years. But the latest census figures and an influx of grant money convinced center staff members that the time had come to begin the program. Kwoh's efforts have raised more than $300,000 from the Open Society Institute and the Community Technology Foundation of California to anchor the hotline. Staff members have appeared on Vietnamese radio and Mandarin television to publicize the program. Tran called the hotline after her sister heard Luu on Bolsa Radio, 106.3 FM. The broadcasts have made Luu a celebrity of sorts. Callers regularly greet her with: "Ms. Kim, I have this problem and I need your help." In part, hotline workers gain immigrants' faith because they understand where their callers are coming from--literally. When she glances down at the tattoo on her right forearm, staff attorney Anita Le's forehead furrows in pain at the bold black letters that spell out "Le Quang Thai Ha." That's the name of the sister who never made it out of Vietnam--who at age 15, drowned when bullets tore through the boat in which she was trying to escape. "We never forget where we came from," said Le, 29, who arrived in the United States six years after her sister's death. "We're in a vacuum without helping others." Stories stream from Luu, too, of how she and her parents fled North Vietnam in 1979. She described how her family sat waist-deep in water for two weeks on a leaky fishing boat to Hong Kong, how her father gave up his own ration of rice to feed his family, how they settled in Louisville, Ky., with $100 and a gold wedding ring among them. "Right now, I'm giving back to the community I grew up in," said Luu, 24, who lives in Alhambra. "The fact that I speak Vietnamese every day reconfirms that I'm still very Vietnamese. "Even though I'm American, I can relate to them. I understand the depths of their pain." What's in a Roman Name? The toponymy of Rome offers an entertaining supplement to the study of its twenty-seven hundred years of history. The etymology of the name of the city of Rome itself remains a mystery. Legend attributes it to a more or less imaginary eponymous founder Romulus , or, in a less familiar version, to a Trojan woman, Rhome (whose name is a Greek word for `strength'). Modern scholars attempt to explain the name more scientifically as being based on a word meaning `river,' or on an Etruscan name. Some investigators, noting evidence for a Latin word ruma meaning `breast,' have concluded that Rome owes its name to the supposed shape of the Palatine Hill as it appeared to the eye of an exceptionally determined observer. The Grand Tetons in the American West illustrate this same phenomenon in French. Major natural features of the city whose ancient names are still in use include the Tiber River and the seven hills. The etymology of all these names remains as elusive as that of Rome itself. Various legends were invented to account for them; for example, the name of the Capitoline Hill (from which capitol comes) was said to be derived from a human head ( caput ) found on it when the temple of Jupiter Capitolinus was being built. This was taken as a portent of future glory. The adjacent Palatine Hill, which was eventually reserved for imperial structures (whence our words palace and palatial ), was derived from the name of Pallas , son of Evander, a Greek who according to epic tradition settled on the site of Rome centuries before its real founding. The fate of Pallas constitutes a major motif in Vergil's Aeneid . One relatively unfamiliar hill in Rome, Monte Testaccio , is a sizable, artificial eminence near the Tiber south of the city, rising a hundred feet above the surrounding level. This was the commercial dock area in antiquity, and more recently the site of the modern city's slaughterhouse, not much frequented by tourists, although it is near the cemetery that contains the grave of John Keats. Monte Testaccio ( Testaceus in Latin) means `hill of potsherds'--an exact description of its makeup. For centuries it was formed by the dumping of debris from the dock area, mostly pieces of broken amphoras, which then became compacted. Walking on its surface is an extraordinary experience. Colosseum is the popular name for the most famous surviving ancient building of Rome. Its official name was Flavian Amphitheater , after the family name of its builder, the emperor Vespasian. The name Colosseum , now usually taken to refer to its size, originally referred to the fact that the amphitheater was built adjacent to a huge statue (a colossus ) of the sun god that had been commissioned by Nero, allegedly in his own likeness. The name of one of the most favored places of modern Rome, Piazza Navona , is a disguised form of a word for the ancient structure whose site it occupies, a stadium ( circus in Latin) built by the emperor Domitian. Piazza Navona still preserves the exact shape of that stadium, of which practically nothing else is left. The stadium itself, and the kind of activity that took place there, were called agon , a Greek word which originally meant simply `competition,' but which has given us our word `agony.' St. Agnes suffered martyrdom at this stadium after her hair grew with miraculous rapidity to cover the nakedness by which her persecutors sought to humiliate her. Consequently, the church that was later built there was called St. Agnes in Agone. The phrase in agone came to be corrupted to Navona , by way of intermediate forms such as Nagone and Navone . Until well into the present century, the official, if little used, name of the piazza was Circo Agonale . Piazza di Spagna , site of the Spanish Steps, is so named because since the 17th century it has been the location of the Spanish embassy to the Holy See. The main street that leads to the Spanish Steps, despite its present concentration of elegant and renowned boutiques, has the most prosaic of names: Via Condotti , after the aged conduits that serve the nearby Trevi Fountain. Many ecclesiastical buildings of Rome have striking names. San Giovanni in Oleo stands near the spot, just inside the ancient Porta Latina, where St. John the Evangelist is said to have survived immersion in boiling oil. The name of the church of Santa Maria sopra Minerva recalls that it was built over a temple of the pagan goddess Minerva. Santa Maria in Cosmedin remains an etymological puzzle. This church served Greek refugees in the 8th century, and the designation in Cosmedin is usually assumed to be connected with the Greek word kosmidion , diminutive of kosmos , meaning `embellishment.' The street names of Rome reflect both its long history and the fanciful imagination of its people. Via del Babuino , running north from Piazza di Spagna, is named after an ancient fountain with a statue of Silenus, the grotesque drunken follower of Bacchus, which seemed to resemble a baboon. A similar circumstance accounts for the strange name of Via Santo Stefano del Cacco , which refers to a statue of an animal-headed Egyptian deity discovered in the remains of the nearby Temple of Isis. The animal was identified as the kind of monkey called in English a macaque , Italian macacco , here colloquially truncated. Via di Ripetta `Embankment Street' skirts the Tiber River as it passes the Ara Pacis and the Mausoleum of Augustus. Here until the present century there was a bustling landing place for the boats that plied the Tiber, a popular subject in old photographs and prints. Now a flood control system has recessed the river below the level of the adjacent streets, and the ripetta has disappeared except in name. Via di Ripetta imperceptibly merges into Via della Scrofa `Street of the Sow,' named after another ancient sculpture that is still preserved there. Just off Via della Scrofa is an old tower called Torre della Scimmia . A votive lamp permanently lit on this tower commemorates the miraculous rescue of a baby girl from a scimmia `pet monkey' that had carried her off to its top. Its principal interest for many Americans, however, is that this is Hilda's Tower, where the ethereal heroine of Nathaniel Hawthorne's Marble Faun lived while she studied painting in Rome. Many street names in the historic center of Rome recall how medieval artisans used to congregate in specialized quarters: Via dei Giubbonari `makers of coats,' Calderari `tinkers,' Pettinari `makers of combs,' Coronari `rosary makers,' Balestrari `crossbow makers,' and many others. The words in this list are obsolete in contemporary Italian, but the street names survive. A Roman street that retains a picturesque name is Via delle Botteghe Oscure `Street of Dark Shops.' The widening of this street in the 1930s resulted not only in the brightening (or disappearance) of the shops, but also in the uncovering of important archaeological remains, much to the inconvenience of modern developers--an old story in Rome. The street gave its name to the influential literary journal, Botteghe Oscure , published there in the 1950s by Marguerite Caetani, an American-born member of the aristocratic Italian family whose ancestral palace stands at the beginning of the street. The single most prolific source of street names in Rome is the Risorgimento, the 19th-century revolutionary movement that unified Italy. Rome grew phenomenally in the decades following the Risorgimento. One result of this growth was an abundance of new streets that needed names; the worthies of the Risorgimento largely filled the bill. Its principal heroes--King Vittorio Emanuele II, Garibaldi, Mazzini, Cavour --are commemorated in the names of the main streets and piazzas of virtually every city and town in Italy, not least in Rome. Via Venti Settembre `20th of September Street' illustrates the Italian propensity for naming streets after historic dates, in this case the date of the breach in the ancient fortification wall of Rome, through which Italian troops stormed the city to bring the Risorgimento to an end. Via del Plebiscito, the street that connects Piazza Venezia with Largo Argentina, now almost totally surrendered to buses and taxis, was named for the `plebiscite' held in 1870, shortly after the events of the 20th of September, when the people of Rome voted to join the rest of Italy, ending the temporal power of the Church. Via Veneto , site of the American Embassy and of la dolce vita in general, was named for one of the provinces of the newly unified Italy, as were other streets nearby ( Via Toscana, Via Lombardia, Via Campania, etc .), when what had been the gardens of the Villa Ludovisi were urbanized almost exactly a hundred years ago. Following World War I, Via Veneto was renamed Via Vittoria Veneto , after a town in Veneto that had been the scene of an Italian battle of that war. (This town itself had been renamed in 1866 in honor of King Vittorio Emanuele II.) To this day, hardly anyone ever calls Via Vittorio Veneto anything but Via Veneto. Few of the street names that originated in the Fascist era have survived it. The grandiose Via dell'Impero that was rammed through the central archaeological zone in the 1930s was named after the short-lived Fascist Empire in Africa. It has been renamed Via dei Fori Imperiali , some what ironically, as the frenzied traffic on it is a serious blight to the enjoyment of the remains of the ancient Imperial Fora themselves. Proposals to demolish this street and restore the unity of the whole archaeological zone from the Capitoline Hill to the Colosseum are often in the news. Across the Tiber, Via della Conciliazione , which cleared the approach to the Basilica of St. Peter from centuries-old congestion, commemorates the `Reconciliation' effected by the Lateran Treaty of 1929. This regularized the relationship between the Church and the Italian state, which had remained unsettled during the years since the Risorgimento. Just inside the southern part of the ancient wall there is another street that has escaped renaming, although it commemorates a Fascist victory in the Italian-Ethiopian war. This is the exotic-sounding Via Amba Aradam , named after a plateau in Ethiopia, a battlefield in 1936. In the southern part of Rome stands the rather forlorn EUR complex of obsolescent modern buildings. The initials, always pronounced as one Italian word ay-OOR), stand for Esposizione Universale di Roma , a world's fair that was to have been held in 1942 but yielded instead to World War II. One of the buildings, visible from the highway that serves Rome's airport, is a bizarre structure officially called Palazzo della Civilt del Lavoro. Its principal design feature is the rounded openings that cover all four of its exterior walls. The major Italian guidebook to Rome soberly claims that this building has been nicknamed Il Colosseo Quadrato , `The Square Colosseum.' In fact, what most Romans really call it is Il Palazzo di Groviera `The Swiss Cheese Palace.' A scattering of names referring to more recent Roman history can be found. At the base of the Aventine, a postwar park has been named the Parco della Resistenza dell'Otto Settembre , commemorating the heroic action against the Nazis there on that date in 1943 by the Italian partisans. Nearby, just outside the ancient wall, the area in front of the railroad station has been named Piazzale dei Partigiani . Luigi Einaudi, the patriarch of postwar Italian politics, President of the Republic from 1948 to 1955, when he was an octogenarian, has the unusual honor of a street named for him in the heart of the city, near the central railway station. This had previously been called Viale delle Terme, after the ruins of the adjacent Baths of Diocletian, one corner of which holds the present National Museum of Antiquities. Finally, Americans who visit Rome should make an excursion to Villa Borghese, a park just outside the ancient wall near Via Veneto, where they will find what used to be Viale dei Leoni `Street of the Lions,' now officially Viale Fiorello Laguardia . When Max Peterson writes [XVII,1] ...St. Augustine...arrived in England bringing Christianity and Latin..., he may be correct about the Latin, but Christianity beat Augustine there by a couple of centuries. There were, for example, British bishops at the Council of Arles, in 314. See The Oxford Dictionary of the Christian Church , second edition, 1984 repr., pp. 290ff., The Church of England. The Scandalous Yiddish Guide of the Census Bureau Every language deserves respect and reverence. Every language is the creative expression of the genius of its people, the collective repository of a nation's legends, traditions, and history, and a mighty potentiator of its national and cultural continuity. The Census Bureau publishes 32 foreign language Guides, from (alphabetically) Arabic to Yiddish, to assist residents unfamiliar with English in answering the official 1990 U.S. Census Form. I took one look at the Bureau's Yiddish Guide and my eyes, four-score-and-four years old, glazed over, not because of their age but because what they saw was totally unreadable--a heap of pure gibberish. From the very title of the Guide , to the first word, first sentence, first paragraph--every rule of spelling, grammar, and syntax has been violated beyond recognition. The entire document represents a veritable rain of error--nay, a torrent, a deluge of gross mistakes, outrageous misspellings, and just plain and simple ignorance. To give the reader an approximate idea of what a Yiddish speaker is confronted with, imagine a question like How many people live in this house? being translated as With pensil say on these line how much parssonalitys residue in yuore abodiement . Even this fails to convey in full the nonsense of the Yiddish Guide because with patience and some educated guessing one could decipher the meaning of the above sentence. This, however, would be practically impossible with the so-called Guide . No amount of patient effort and guessing to reconstruct a sentence would be of any avail because the Yiddish in the Guide is garbled to the point of incoherence. One is reminded of the assembly instructions that used to come with products imported from Japan. The English terms in those instructions were so comically outlandish and the sentence structure so awkward that they became a source of hilarity. There is nothing hilarious or mirthful, however, about the Yiddish Guide . To the very contrary: it brings forth a deep sense of sadness because what was supposed to be a serious attempt at facilitating the Census count, a sort of first aid assistance in answering the Census Form, looks like the work of a child who took several pages from a Yiddish book, cut them up with his plastic scissors into tiny pieces of various shapes and sizes and then playfully pasted them together. How did such irresponsibility come about? Why did the Census Bureau not call up the Library of Congress for a referral to a responsible Yiddish translator? Instead, I imagine, whoever was in charge of foreign language translations asked around casually during a coffee break: Anyone here know Yiddish? And a chap piped up: Well, my mother and father spoke Yiddish when they didn't want me and my sisters to understand what they were saying, but my grandmother and my mother always spoke Yiddish... The saying Traduttore traditore expresses the idea that no matter how gifted a translator is, he can never truly convey the subtle nuances and meanings behind the original language, the many-layered associations and allusions that the words in the original connote. The Yiddish translator of the Census Guide doesn't belong, of course, to the above class of translators. While professional translators are richly and deeply knowledgable in both languages, the original language and the language they translate into, the so-called translator of the Census Guide is totally ignorant of the rudimentary rules of Yiddish, not to mention its spirit. The end result of his work therefore is tantamount to sabotage, albeit unintended, since any native Yiddish speaker starting to answer the questionnaire with the help of this Guide would soon have to discard, in utter confusion, both the Census Form and the Guide as well. But this denigration alone would not make the Yiddish Guide the travesty it is. What made it a travesty, indeed a tragedy, is that thousands upon thousands of Yiddish speakers, many of them elderly and poor, remained uncounted, and thus have fallen between the cracks, so to speak, with grave political, social, and economic consequences. [ Editor's Note : We shall send a copy of Census publication D-60 (Yiddish) to anyone who requests it and encloses a s.a.s.e.] Third Barnhart Dictionary of New English Two generations of the Barnhart family have been intimately involved in dictionary-making, certainly one of the most unusual family businesses one could imagine. The tradition began with the influential work of Clarence L. Barnhart, dean of American lexicography, who at the age of 89 is still active in the profession. C.L.B. had much to do with the application of modern linguistic theory to lexicography; the list of publications he has edited includes such landmarks as the Dictionary of American English (University of Chicago Press), the Thorndike-Barnhart School Dictionaries series (Scott Foresman; the top-selling school dictionaries in the U.S.), the American College Dictionary (Random House), the New Century Cyclopedia of Names (Appleton-Century-Crofts), and the World Book Dictionary (little known, sadly, but one of the best unabridged dictionaries still being kept current). He also founded and, with his son, David, still edits the Barnhart Dictionary Companion [ BDC ], a periodical report on new words that features the staple of Barnhart lexicography--full, dated citations. In addition to their work in the Dictionary Companion , well regarded by lexicographers and other serious word people, the family Barnhart and their colleagues have directed much effort over the years to tracking and recording new English, and this latest publication is another in that line. This Third Barnhart Dictionary of New English [TBDNE] follows on two others of similar purpose and style that appeared in 1973 and 1980, respectively, published by Harper & Row. The intent of the series is to record words and meanings not entered or fully explained in standard dictionaries... a supplement to current dictionaries of the English language (from the Preface). In this latest addition to the series Robert K. Barnhart is listed first on the title page, taking over his father's role in the previous books, and, as before, they are joined by Sol Steinmetz. The combined editorial staff for all three books includes the names of no fewer than nine Barnharts. TBDNE is an amalgamation and continuation, with many of the entries found in the two earlier books of this series (both now out of print)...included to provide a revised and expanded record of new words and meanings introduced into English during the past three decades (Preface). Those wishing to supplement their aging Webster's Third New International (Merriam, 1961) and unwilling to spend about thirty dollars more for the recent editions of the Random House Unabridged or World Book Dictionary would be very well served by the TBDNE . It should be noted, however, that the TBDNE , in including the work of its predecessors, represents a departure from their approach. The Second in 1980 was totally independent of the 1963 book: the second supplemented the first. The TBDNE consolidates the best of the two earlier dictionaries, with revisions, then adds some new entries. It is intended to replace its predecessors, not supplement them. Each entry contains a definition (occasionally two or more) followed by one or more lengthy, dated citations, plus a date, often different, of the earliest citation on file for each sense. The date is often earlier than that of the citations given since these were selected from the Barnhart files as most illustrative of meaning and usage. Indeed, the definition is often provided in the citation itself. Multiple citations are arranged in an order of the editors' choosing, not necessarily chronological. This approach reflects editorial sifting of the evidence from the citations and a subsequent presentation that best befits clarity and sense development. Strict chronological presentation of dated citations is at best a lexicographic Procrustean bed, at worst very misleading. Citations, being only the lexicographer's raw data, need to be carefully reviewed, weighed, selected, and presented if a dictionary entry is to record the state of a word properly. Sound citation analysis is, like good definition-writing, a rare gift, and requires, besides diligence, broad experience and a firm sense of the idiom of the language: Sprachgefhl . Fortunately, the editors of TBDNE have this in abundance, and the resulting excellence is manifest on every page. A careful estimate indicates that the TBDNE contains about 9,000 headwords with an additional 2,000 or so other entry words; of these 11,000 or so entries, some 2,300 (about 21%) are phrasal. The estimate suggests something less than the entry count of the Merriam-Webster 12,000 Words , which is billed as a supplement to the Merriam Third , but there the comparison ends. The TBDNE has well over twice the information of the Merriam book, which lacks citations. Citations are particularly important in dictionaries of new words, not only in establishing a dated record, but to furnish context and thereby more clearly illustrate actual use--essential for words that are by nature unfamiliar. Other features include special notes on usage, word formation, and cultural or historical background. Pronunciations are given as necessary, using an adaptation of the International Phonetic Alphabet developed by the Barnharts for this series. Etymologies are provided for a small proportion of entries. Otherwise, the dictionary presents itself in fairly standard, familiar fashion, with the sort of labeling and cross-referencing that one expects in a quality product. One feature of the earlier books in the series has unfortunately not been kept in TBDNE --the use of centered dots within headwords to show syllabication points. An analysis of the entries in two randomly selected spans of the TBDNE suggests that the great bulk of the entries are repeated, often with revision, from the two earlier books, with less evidence of new material than one might have hoped for. A randomly chosen span of 50 full entries in the TBDNE , from pill to platinum , was compared against the same alphabetic span in the 1963 and 1980 dictionaries: 1963 1980 1990 35 entries 28 entries 50 entries The 50 entries of the TBDNE include 22 from the 1963 book (13 were dropped) and 26 from the 1980 book (2 were dropped), with only two completely new entries. The new items, pinstriper and Planet X, are, not surprisingly, both drawn from the BDC , which provided the actual citation for pinstriper and the date of earliest occurrence for Planet X. It seems likely that the increasingly common acronym PIN , for personal identification number , issued by banks as a unique identifier for customers who use automatic teller machines (yes, ATM is in), which was in BDC was passed over for TBDNE because it appears as an entry in the Random House Unabridged Second Edition (1987), though ATM is an entry in all three. To find such a low proportion of new entries (4%), was unexpected, so another random span of 50, from go to grammaticality , was compared, with the following result: 1963 1980 1990 22 entries 27 entries 50 entries Of these 50 entries, 18 come from the 1963 book (4 dropped), all 27 were taken from the 1980, and 5 new items were added: goldbug , golden parachute, gold rush (new sense), golf ball (new sense), and gomer . Two of the five are to be found in the BDC , while entries for all appear in the World Book Dictionary (1989 edition), also produced by the Barnhart staff. So there was indeed a greater proportion of new entries (10%) than in the span noted first, but still a disappointingly small minority of the whole. Of the entries left out of the TBDNE that did appear in the previous books, none was surprising. Technical terms such as pinealectomy , planetology , and planktotrophic are of low frequency or have only specialized use, so were understandably dropped in compiling the TBDNE (indeed, it is more notable that they were ever included at all). Entries for pipe bomb , ( in the ) pipeline, pita , and placebo effect , plasma jet , and platform tennis , all in the 1963 book, were doubtless dropped because they all are entered in current general-language dictionaries, and so are no longer required in the TBDNE, given its stated intention. The dropping of goulash communism (1968 citation; economic approach in thencommunist Hungary emphasizing greater production of consumer goods) and gramadan (1970 citation; Hindi loanword applied to a Gandhian form of land collectivization in India), both in the 1963 book but not in TBDNE , reflects the fact that, in a living language, citations require different analysis and judgment after the perspective of time is added. It may seem unfortunate to discard entries that, no matter the frequency or currency of the term, are part of the record of English, but such is necessary in any commercial dictionary venture. At least it does appear, based on the spans analyzed, that the discards were judiciously chosen. A comparison reading of full entries in the TBDNE against the source entries from its predecessors reveals the marks of close editing to incorporate better citations and record earlier attestations. Also, the citational style has been tightened, undoubtedly to create space for additional entries. Where the 1963 and 1980 dictionaries cited author, article, publication, and date (for a periodical), the same citation in the TBDNE gives only publication and date. The space saved allowed for amalgamation and new entries; yet, anyone interested in more background on a particular citation is provided with enough information to track it down, assuming that a good library is at hand. I hesitate to quibble over a few items not found in the TBDNE , since even these should cause no great concern. A dictionary of neologisms owes nearly everything to the citation files behind it, and citation files are very much a product of accident, constrained by budget. That the Random House Unabridged (Second Edition, 1987) includes pimpmobile and plain-vanilla probably means that the Random House files had citations for these, the Barnharts' not--or not enough. Given the immense quantity of English in use worldwide, it is simply impossible for any single citation-gathering force to see, much less collect, all that should be in the file. Merriam's 12,000 Words has entries for Pinteresque, pistou , and place value , again a reflection of what the vast Merriam files have yielded up. Still, none of the new-words dictionaries I checked, including the Longman Register of New Words (edited by John Ayto; Longman, 1989) and the Facts on File Dictionary of New Words (edited by LeMay, Lerner and Taylor; Facts on File, 1988) had an entry for pixelization `the appearance of pixels (dots that make up a computer-screen image) in a computer graphic, a mark of lower resolution.' An entry for it must await citations entering the files, assuming the word proves its usefulness to users of English over time. It is a bit dissatisfying to find fewer new entries in the TBDNE than one might have expected. Commercial constraints are the likely explanation for this, not, I strongly suspect, lack of new words and senses in the ever-burgeoning English lexicon. But we should not judge too harshly on the basis of two narrow spans covering only about 1% of the entries. While it can truly be said that the TBDNE shows more of the solid foundation of its predecessors than it does of newly laid work, this is hardly negative criticism. The 1963 and 1980 books are both fine dictionaries, and a book that combines the best of those, carefully re-edited, with some solid, new lexicography based on the BDC , the World Book Dictionary , and the substantial Barnhart files, must be a high-quality dictionary. It is. Frank R. Abate I'd like to add a word to Harry Cohen's delightful list in Jingo Lingo [XVI, 4]. The French words for junkie are toxoman and morphinman , neither of which merits official use. I must take issue with your quick dismissal of Mr. Saussy's claim that his father earned his bachelor's degree at the behest of the Marine Corps [XVI, 4]. To the extent that written orders constitute military commands, the U.S. Navy and Marine Corps do indeed issue behests for academic degrees. In the past, the Marine Corps has had programs similar to the Navy's College Degree Program (CDP) and Navy Enlisted Scientific Education Program (NESEP). Moreover, at any given time there are many Marine Corps officers enrolled in graduate study programs at the Naval Postgraduate School (NPS), in Monterey, California. They arrive at NPS with orders in hand and usually complete degree requirements within two years--at the behest of the Marine Corps. To Abbrev. or Not to Abbreviate There is a linguistic process in the evolution of our vocabulary that is not functioning with a high rate of efficiency. Not that the language has ever been highly logical or ever should be, but what set out on a bon voyage is gradually abandoning ship and heading back to shore. What was to have happened simply is not always happening. In the world of modern communication, it is evident that it is often necessary to speed up the sending of messages. With the written language, this is orthographically facilitated by the various processes of word shortening--acronyms ( ZIP for Zone Improvement Plan ), contractions ( won't for will not ), clipped words ( deli for delicatessen ) and abbreviations ( lb. for pound ). However, the time- and space-saving act of abbreviating is not always working with the efficiency that was originally intended. A few examples will vividly illustrate this puzzling discrepancy. When we find ourselves with a long word or phrase on our hands, we would normally expect to find an abbreviation to come to the rescue. In time, that generally happens and, with few communication difficulties, everything lives happily after. The expression, master of the ceremonies , is earliest found in 1662. It is more than a hundred years later before an efficient abbreviation for it is found. In 1790 M.C. finally arrives in print to reduce the writing wordload by 300 percent. Supposedly, everything is firmly set. For almost one and one half centuries, M.C. does the job it was called upon to do. In 1933, however, some writer mysteriously decides that a new word is needed to represent the pronunciation of the abbreviation. Emcee is thus born, no matter that this represents an increase from two letters to five, a bulging 125% growth. Granted, emcee is still more efficient than master of ceremonies , but the need for spelling out the sound of letters seems redundant, superfluous, and therefore useless. Nevertheless, the practice of changing from term to abbreviation to phonetic spelling of the abbreviation is an old and continuing oddity in English. In World War II, the need for a general-purpose vehicle was satisfied with the development of a means of transportation referred to by the government with astonishing directness and candor as a general-purpose vehicle . The army, quick to abbreviate everything, began to refer to the vehicle as a g.p., but by 1941 g.p. had given way to the longer jeep . Vice president (with no capitals is first found in 1574, and Vice President , referring to his USA nibs, is found in 1787. Sometime later VP shortened the term by 250%, but by 1949 veep , although abhorred by many, was applied affectionately to Alben Barclay and became part of the written and spoken vocabulary. Junior varsity is found in 1949, referring to the secondary team of an American school or university. The date for the first use of J.V. is unsure, but the date for jayvee , 1937, would seem to show a lack of conclusive evidence since junior varsity must obviously have preceded jayvee . Disc jockey is found in 1941, deejay in 1949, indicating that D.J. might have been in between. Another inconsistency is to be found in the process of knockout , the boxing term and later the metaphoric term referring to anything that amazes or shocks. Knockout is first recorded in 1887, and logically following is K.O. in 1926, but the first appearance of kayo is cited in 1923. Not to rehash the OK controversy, but oll korrect is first found in 1839 with OK also listed in that same year. Following reasonable suit, okeh appears in 1919, and okay is charted in 1929. One segment of the armed forces is the Construction Batallion, which was quickly abbreviated to C.B. In 1942 this group came to be known as the Seabees , sporting uniforms with an appropriate insigne of a seafaring bee. One of the latest words to enter the Abbreviation Cycle of Redundancy Race is Missouri . The Show-Me state gained statehood in 1821. It is not clear when the inept Mo. became the official abbreviation. However it is, the Postal Service saw fit to continue the curse with MO. The final stage is now evident in the state's motto regarding drugs: MO SAYS NO TO DRUGS, where MO is obviously to be rhymed with NO. What are the reasons for the apparent senselessness in the preceding examples? It must first be remembered that English is not highly reliant on the rules of logic. Prescriptive dictionaries are becoming fewer; descriptive dictionaries are gaining in popularity. Aside from generalizations, however, the abbreviations considered here do present some reason for their madness. Mo rhyming with no certainly makes the slogan easy to remember. Jeep and veep , each containing only one syllable, are easier to pronounce than their ancestral abbreviations. Emcee probably radiates a more euphemistic aura of dignity than M.C. Although there seems to be no reason for jayvee , it must be noted that the date given for the first appearance of a word is actually a record of when it was first found in print, and earlier oral use could not distinguish J. V. from jayvee . The word was no doubt used orally much earlier. The problem with abbreviations as presented here again illustrates that people demand that language work the way they want to make it work. Overall, the abbreviating process is alive and doing exceptionally well. To supplement E. T. Henry's Nifty Nomenclature [XVI,4], my English wife (nee Hume ) from Beckenham offers the intelligence that when she was a child, her doctor's name was Death (pronounced DEETH), her dentist's name was Screech, her schoolteacher's name was Kenshitt , and the local pastor was Reverend Long who married a Miss Shorter. In The Language of the Law [XVII,1], one phrase ran off the rails: customs that runneth not to the contrary. Perhaps the writer was not serious, because he had a plural subject with a singular verb, runneth , in the relative clause. What runneth not to the contrary is memory, rather than custom. A better use of the phrase would be: Droit du seigneur has been the custom for so long that the mind of man runneth not to the contrary. The Sounds of Inglish Bernard Shaw's Professor Henry Higgins liked to vent his ire on his fellow countrymen for the cold-blooded murder of the English tongue. What his views were on foreigners who spoke the language less than perfectly we shall never know. But I imagine those views wouldn't have been complimentary either, because many of his real-life counterparts, devout worshipers of the Queen's English, have expressed varying degrees of horror on the subject. One would have thought that a little gratitude would be in order, gratitude for living in a world that largely speaks their language, however differently. Assume for a moment that this were not the case. How would the predominantly monoglot Britons then cope? Now imagine for a moment that you are seated on the verandah of a bungalow in India. The impending monsoon has darkened the skies, the breeze is rustling the chintz curtains and the calico tablecloth. Is a typhoon on its way? A motley crowd is hurrying by--workers in dungarees; a yogi with his followers; a noblewoman in purdah in palanquin; a group of nautch girls, attractive in their aniline-dyed dresses and bright bandanas, their bangles jingling and their long, shampooed hair streaming in the breeze; a sepoy all smart in khaki on his horse, his jodhpurs trim and neat; a scholarly pundit; a mahout on his elephant, ambling like a juggernaut. A pariah dog barks at a bandicoot (or is it a mongoose?) in the paddy fields while mynahs twitter in the adjoining jungle. Fishermen secure their catamarans and dinghies to the pier with thick coir ropes. There's have a dekko at. Everything is so different from good old Blighty... Thirty-five words in the preceding paragraph are derived from Indian languages and are listed in standard English dictionaries as acceptable English words. Some of them strike us immediately as exotic but others (shampoo, for instance) are in such common use that people are often astonished to learn that they have a foreign origin. The Empire carried the English language to distant climes. These lands were poles apart from England in every possible way. There simply were no words in the English language to describe many local features and the local way of life. New words, phrases, and idioms had to be coined--out of necessity. What better than to borrow words and expressions from local languages and anglicize them? English, in turn, made its impact on Indian languages in two ways: crossbreeding with Indian words to produce unique amalgamations; and lending words and expressions to Indian languages. As a result, we now have hybrid words like gymkhana and memsahib . Gymkhana , a `club for members to socialize and partake in sports and recreation,' is a mixture of the Hindi gendkhana (meaning `ball house') and the English gymnasium . Memsahib , meaning `European or white lady,' stems from sahib , an Indian title of respect often accorded to white men, and mem , a corruption of Madam . So too, words like shirt, bus, paper, fan, road , and light have become common in everyday vernacular speech in India. Some pronunciations have been Indianized. Pen is at times pronounced penai in South India, and when somebody speaks of krishnoil , he means kerosene oil. Expressions like the Tamil Then-nilavu , which is a literal translation of `honey' and `moon' and means `honeymoon,' have also resulted. The permutations do not end there. Indians bring nuances from their own languages into English. This has resulted in a variant of English known as Inglish ( Indian English). Inglish differs from English in five ways: words, expressions, grammar, pronunciation and rhythm. Inglish sentences are peppered with Indian words. Yaar or Da (meaning `chum' or `buddy'), often punctuate Inglish speech. Maha , meaning `great,' is another such word; an irate employer chastises his `maha-lazy workers, an enamoured youth woos his maha-beautiful sweetheart. When the police control unruly mobs by wielding wooden batons (lathi in Hindi), they make a lathi-charge. When you are introduced to some-body's co-brother, you infer that he is the gentleman's wife's sister's husband. Indian patterns of grammer are also adopted in Inglish speech. Will you come? changes to You will come? and Why has she done this? to What for she has done this? because that's the right way to structure those sentences grammatically in the original Indian languages. Somebody answering the telephone might be expected to say, This is Krishnaswami speaking. Instead, you get a booming, I speaking Krishnaswami. The lilting rhythms and pronunciations of each regional Indian language are characteristic of the Inglish spoken there. Thus, we have Inglish dialects such as Hinglish, Benglish, Punglish, Tamglish, Malayanglish, and so forth. A person's Inglish often tells you which region of India he or she hails from. Twinkle Twinkle Little Star sung by a North Indian could have the le in twinkle pronounced lay. The man from Andhra Pradesh might come up with the Telugu flavored Twinkulu Twinkulu Littlu Staru , while from Kerala come the deeply resonant Malayalam twangs of Dwingle Dwingle Liddle Sdar . And Inglish speech is not complete without nodding of the head, some gesticulation, and an expressive face. This may be more than sufficient, perhaps, to drive the literary purists to suicide. But before they plunge the knife in, let them consider the English spoken in countries around the world--China, the Caribbean, the South American countries, and especially the United States of America. A majority of people speak English today as it should not be spoken according to purists. Languages that rigidly hold on to their purity soon suffocate themselves. Those that adapt and change (and yes, get corrupted once in a while) survive and thrive. It is this quality to adapt that gives English its virility. Its status as the most widely spoken language in the world will take some challenging. Speakers of English, this is reason enough to rejoice. Listen with an attentive ear to the sounds of Inglish and the Englishes of other lands. The experience can be maha-fascinating. The Naming of Poisons It must be tough being a bartender, customers would sometimes say to me, in the days when I was practising the trade. How can you ever remember all those different drink recipes? It is not really all that hard, I would explain to them. Drinks are a lot like popular songs. First, there are the standards , like the Martini and the Screwdriver and the Bloody Mary . These are to bartender what White Christmas and My Way are to a lounge singer. There are only 20 or 30 of them, and they account for 90 percent of all cocktail orders. Then there are the current hits , things like the Melonball and the Kamikaze . These are comparable to this season's hit songs. If you don't know how to make one of them, someone can usually tell you-- the customer who ordered it, a regular sitting at the end of the bar, or another bartender. After this happens a few times the drink gets pounded into your head, like the latest Bruce Springsteen on the juke box. Finally, there are the oldies-but-goodies . If you don't know these, you can look them up in one of the bartending reference books behind the bar. There is also--with drinks as well as with songs--a phenomenally large number of also-rans. One can look through the promotional booklets given out by the liquor companies and the ads in magazines like Playboy to find countless unlikely sounding recipes concocted by marketing departments in hopes of selling more of their products. One rarely hears a real person order one of these drinks. If one adds to these flops the unpublicized creations of individual bars and bartenders and customers, it is apparent that in our culture there is an immense and continual outpouring of mixologic creativity. Only the tiniest fraction of this output, however, actually achieves the first level of popular acceptance, and becomes a current hit . Having reached that level, it is almost as difficult to achieve the next one and become a standard , a drink that will still be popular by the time the next generation of current hits comes along. I occasionally wondered why, out of the hundreds of candidates available, a certain few drinks had managed to achieve favor with the popular taste. It was usually not , as one might have supposed, because a newly discovered combination of ingredients had resulted in some completely unique new flavor. An Alabama Slammer , for instance, is made from sweetish liquors and fruit juice. As far as flavor goes, it offers nothing to the palate that could not as easily be provided by, say, a Singapore Sling . But, for young Americans of certain backgrounds, the Alabama Slammer is now chic, and the Singapore Sling is not. The liquor industry sometimes does come up with new and different flavors. During the period when I was tending bar, for instance, a honeydewmelon-flavored liqueur called Midori, a product of the Japanese distiller Suntory, became very popular. But one might still ask why certain Midori-based drinks, such as the Melonball and the Pearl Harbor , became widely accepted, while others-- The Green Goddess, Early Spring in Kyoto --languished in the pages of Suntory's promotional literature. I have concluded that by far the most important factor in the success of a new drink is its name . The bar where I used to work was located in the train station in New London, Connecticut. This is a town that has both a large naval base and a private co-educational college, and I waited on great numbers of people in their early to mid twenties. This is the group that, more than any other, serves as the breeding ground for new drinks. Very often I would take an order for a drink that was just coming into popularity, and then, when I served the drink, I would find out that the customer had expected something different. Frequently that was because the customer came from a region of the country where a different set of ingredients went by the same name. What had happened was that the recipe had become garbled as it traveled across the country by oral transmission from customer to bartender, and bartender to bartender. Yet the name had survived. Unlike most products, which may be slipped across a counter (over or under) in silence, drinks are usually ordered out loud. Young people, when ordering a drink, like to give an indication, to themselves and to others, that they are tough, or sexy, or funny. They also have a strong tendency to imitate their peers and to order what they hear other order. During the time that I was working as a bartender (1977-1984), the new drinks that became popular almost invariably contained references in their names to images from the following categories: 1) pleasant taste; 2) destruction or self-destruction; 3) irreverence; 4) sexual innuendo. 1) Pleasant Taste : Many young people do not like the taste of liquor in its raw state. They often order a drink with a name that seems to promise a sweet or non-alcoholic taste. A Creamsicle !? That sounds good! I think I'll try one of those! In all of the cases below, the name actually does reflect, to some extent, the taste of the drink. MELONBALL CREAMSICLE 1 ounce Midori 1 ounce vodka 1 ounce vodka 1 ounce Triple Sec Fill with orange juice. Fill with half milk, half Glass: Collins, with ice orange juice; shake. Glass: Collins, with ice LONG ISLAND ICED TEA CALIFORNIA ROOT BEER ounce vodka 1 ounce Galliano ounce rum 1 ounce coffee liqueur ounce gin Fill with cola. ounce Triple Sec Glass: Collins, with ice ounce tequila (A California Root Beer Float Fill with lemon mix, add Float is the same drink squirt of cola. with the addition of a Glass: Collins, with ice splash of milk.) HAWAIIAN PUNCH Splash of grenadine 1 ounce sloe gin Fill with half orange ounce Southern juice, half Comfort pineapple juice. ounce Amaretto Glass: Collins, with ice 2) Destruction or Self-Destruction : It is not always clear which of these is referred to in the name of a drink. When someone orders a Cherry Bomb , for instance, is he saying, symbolically, that he is about to drop a small explosive charge into his nervous system? Or is he saying that he is explosive? Perhaps it is a little of each. There are many drinks in this category, as one might expect, since so many of the euphemisms for drunk (smashed, bombed , etc.) etc.) also refer to destruction: KAMIKAZE BLEEDING BRAIN 1 ounce vodka Fill a shot glass with half 1 ounce Triple Sec peppermint schnapps, Few drops Rose's Lime half Irish cream liqueur, Juice and add a few drops of Glass: rocks glass, with grenadine. The resulting ice curdled mess looks like its name. ALABAMA SLAMMER 1 ounce Southern CHERRY BOMB Comfort 1 ounce cherry 1 ounce sloe gin brandy Fill with orange juice. Fill with beer Glass: Collins, with ice Glass: beer mug B-52 1 part Tia Maria Float Irish cream on Tia 1 part Irish cream Maria, and Grand liqueur Marier on Irish Cream 1 part Grand Marnier Glass: cordial pony 3) Irreverence: Sometimes these categories overlap a good deal. The Colorado Motherfucker could also be placed in the next category, but I think the name is intended more for shock than anything else. It is a way of saying, I am an outlaw, a mountain man! As one might expect, it tastes like a syrupy milk shake. COLORADO MOTHER- MUDSLIDE FUCKER ounce vodka 1 ounce tequila ounce coffee liqueur 1 ounce coffee liqueur ounce Irish cream Fill with milk; shake; liqueur add splash of cola. Glass: rocks glass, with Glass: Collins, with ice ice PURPLE JESUS (This drink became pop- ounce vodka ular after a series of data- Graps juice to fill strophic mudslides hit Glass: highball, with ice the california coast.) 4) Sexual Innuendo : Leafing through old bartending manuals, one comes across things like the Between-the-Sheets cocktail, so there is nothing radically new about this category. But in recent times the references are increasingly blunt. Much of the appeal of these drinks lies in ordering them in such a ways as to playfully gross out the bartender. It is hard to imagine someone buying the ingredients for an Orgasm at a liquor store and then going home and mixing up a few to drink while reading mysteries in bed. The idea is to go into the local bar and say, Hey, Marybeth, can you give me an Orgasm? I haven't had a good Orgasm for a long time! HA! It's no wonder, deadpans Marybeth, mixing his drink. ORGASM SLOE SCREW ounces vodka 1 ounces sloe gine ounce coffee liqueur Orange juice to fill ounce amaretto Glass: highball, with ice Fill with milk; shake. (A Screwdriver made Glass: Collins with ice with sole gin instead of SOLE COMFORTABLE vodka.) SCREW SOLE COMFORTABLE 1 ounce sloe gin SCREW AGAINST 1 ounce Southern THE WALL Comfort 1 ounce sloe gin Orange juice to fill 1 ounce Southern Glass: Collins, with ice Comfort (A Sole Screw with the Orange juice to fill addition of Southern ounce Galliano floated Comfort.) on top SLIPPERY NIPPLE Glass: Collins, with ice ounce amaretto (The logic of this is that a ounce Irish cream Screwdriver with Galliano liqueur floated on top is ounce ouzo known as a Harvey Glass: Martini Wallbanger. Thus a Garnish: skewer a Maraschino Comfortable Screw with cherry with a Galliano floated on top toothpick, and lay the becomes a Sole Comfortable toothpick across the rim Screw Against the of the glass so that the Wall. In bars it is rarely cherry sits in the center ordered but much discussed.) of the drink. Whereas sexologists have previously asked whether the female gentilia resemble those of men, Eve's Secret suggests that men's sexual organs may be derived from those of women. [From a Paladin/Grafton book advertisement in The Guardian , n.d., . Submitted by ] Each of the four rings were positioned inside each other. [From an article on laser capability in Job Shop Technology , . Submitted by ] State of Washington charges for certified birth, death, marriage or disillusion.... [From Connecticut Society of Genealogists Newsletter, . Submitted by ] There is no doubt that family names often provide a source of amusement, and some well-known place names persist in their references to things and activities otherwise rarely broached in polite conversation--you know, those places in Pennsylvania. Dr. Frank R. Abate, who has been conducting research for a comprehensive place-name catalogue, has sent us a listing of some interesting names in the U.S. that raises some questions. For instance, why is there a Why , Arizona, and a Whynot , Mississippi? There is a Due West in Tennessee and an East Due West in both Tennessee and South Carolina. Tennessee also has a Yell , which is presumably connected with Loud Township , Michigan. Not far from Koko and Nankipoo in Tennessee is Yum Yum , which has its own associations with Lick Fork , Virginia, Cheesequake , New Jersey, Shoofly (the pie, not the police informer), North Carolina, Goodfood and Hot Coffee , Mississippi, Nodine , Minnesota, Cucumber , West Virginia, Gnaw Bone , Indiana, Sugartit , Kentucky, Teaticket , Massachusetts, and, possibly, Fruita , Utah. If Shoffly is not a kind of pie, it might go better with Roaches , Illinois, Bugtown , Indiana, Mosquitoville , Vermont, Bugscuffle , Tennessee, or Big Tussle , Texas, where the insects must be truly humongous. People who live in Dinkytown and Nebish , Minnesota, Embarrass , Minnesota and Wisconsin, or in Wartburg , Tennessee, ought to consider twinning with Braggadocio , Missouri, and O.K ., Kentucky. When the inhabitants of certain places are asked where they come from, do they tell the truth (or only if they come from Truth or Consequences)? Will they admit to coming from Ding Dong , Texas, Unthanks , Virginia, Brainy Boro , New Jersey, Mudsock , Ohio, Jackass Flats , Nevada, Wahoo , Nebraska, Funkley , Minnesota, Funkstown , Maryland Jerk Tail , Missouri, Zook Spur , Iowa, or Crapo , Maryland? Sonny, Ah'm a ding-dong daddy from Ding Dong, Texas, 'n', consarn ya, Ah'll plug any varmint who smiles. Should we introduce the folks in Tightwad , Missouri, to those in Hard Cash , Mississippi, and Greenbackville , Virginia? Notress , Texas speaks for itself. Do any Republicans live in Democrat , Texas? What can be said about the condition of denizens of Flipping , West Virginia, and Looneyville , Texas? If you find any Peculiar (Missouri) names or ones that comes as a Surprise (Nebraska), just Jot 'Em Down (Texas) Safely (Tennessee)--unless, of course, they are Errata (Mississippi). Joseph L. Brechner Imminent Scholar of Journalism, University of Florida. [The title under the signature on a letter to members of the Association for Education in Journalism and Mass Communications, . Submitted by ] Book of Literary Lists First published in Britain by Sidgwick & Jackson in 1985, this is quite an uneven work, entries running from Arnold Bennett's choice of the twelve finest novels in the world (which includes Torrents of Spring, Virgin Soil, On the Eve , and nine others, all Russian), to a quotation from Gershon Legman, Murder is a crime. Describing murder is not. Sex is not a crime. Describing sex is., to Seventh century The Venerable Bede translated St John's Gospel into Anglo-Saxon. There are many interesting and amusing anecdotes and a fairly good index. Grammar A concise, explanatory guide to the complex set of relations that link the sounds of language, or its written symbols, with the message they have to convey.--From the cover. The first edition (1971) was evidently successful, prompting this updated version. Starts with Alice/Humpty Dumpty quotation. Well-written but not overly simplified presentation. Good to read, but sparse Index and brevity preclude its use as a reference grammar. Dictionary of Pseudonyms and Their Origins, with Stories of Name Changes Originally published in 1981 by Routledge as Naming Names, Stories of Pseudonyms and Name Changes, with a Who's Who , the author's Introduction warrants this new edition to be more readable, more comprehensive and more orderly in addition to being updated. After 67 pages of well-written, informative essays about names and pseudonyms, each pseudonym is listed in alphabetical order with the real name following, some biographical data, information about the name change and, where appropriate, about the circumstances under which the change was made. ( Claurne duGran , alas, was omitted.) There follow three short appendices, including one that lists celebrities who did not change their names (e.g., Katharine Hepburn, Lena Horne, Clint Eastwood, and Nelson Eddy). But wasn't Adolf Hitler's real name Schicklgruber? ; that's what my RHD has. In any event, anyone interested in language ought to have all of Adrian Room's books in his library. Can you Find It? This might (otherwise) be a fine piece of work, but I happened to open it to the question, The slang expression `knothead' was first used in what popular work of American literature?.... Need more clues? See pages 117-118, whither my fingers scurried. Page 117 has a cartoon with a caption showing the word nerd . Page 118 contain a quotation from The Comedians , by Graham Greene, His slang ... was always a little out of date as though he had studied a dictionary of popular usage, but not in the latest edition, the following dialogue, A. Don't be a knothead. Words are defined in word dictionaries. Slang words are defined in slang dictionaries. B. Phooey, and, Still can't find the answer? See page 161, whither we skedaddled to find this execrable piece of misinformation: The word `knothead' was first used by Max Shulman in his Collection of Campus Stories: The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis... , p. 61. To quote: `Look at Petey--a knothead...' For those who have not remained awake during class, I must repeat the fact that when a dictionary, whether it be the OED, Dictionary of American Slang (the source of this citation), or any other work uses quotations it simply lists the quotation as the earliest printed evidence found of the use of a word: that does NOT mean that the author of the cited work made up the word. Just think how many words must have been coined by writers whose works are the only ones extant from early periods of the language: people who misuse citation dictionaries must think that Richard Rolle of Hampole, Holinshed, Chaucer, Shakespeare, and a handful of other geniuses sat down one day and invented the English language, making up the words as they went along. This book has a lot of cartoons and very few words. Its cover promises the reader will be able to answer questions like Why did Whoopi Goldberg once work at a mortuary, and what did she do there? and How many paintings did Van Gogh actually sell during his lifetime? If you regard life as a trivial pursuit, then knowing the answers to those might be important to you. I had best not dwell on the revelation that Mr. McCutcheon was Nebraska's Teacher of the Year in 1985. Words & C Born 1901, John Flagg Gummere received a Ph.D. in Indo-European languages from the University of Pennsylvania in 1933; he died around 1988 --the date is not given in the brief biography provided by John Francis Marion, an old friend. Gummere was headmaster of Penn Charter School for twenty-seven years, later taught classics and humanities at Haverford College. We were--how to put it?--distantly in touch with each other: though we had never met, we knew some of the same people and knew of each other. We corresponded occasionally (in connection with VERBATIM, which he read and, I think, enjoyed), and his warmth came through in his letters. This book is an attractive and friendly collection of his short pieces on language, written with the authority of Gummere's scholarship and utterly lacking in pedanticism. I do not know how many copies were printed or how much they cost, but I urge you to inquire and get two copies if you can, one to keep and one to give to someone else who loves language. Webster's New World Dictionary of Quotable Definitions A few years ago, we published Definitive Quotations , by the late John Ferguson, a (very) small book that contains entries like, boy: A noise with dirt on it. Although Brussell's book does not consist entirely of definitions (unless the genre be very loosely defined), it comes close enough, so if you like these things by the thousands instead of by the score, then buy it. The boy definition is in it, but I could not find one of my favorites (from DQ ), penicillin: just the thing to give someone who has every thing. American Given Names As all readers probably know, Laurence or Lawrence sprang in medieval use from the name of the Roman saint who was martyred by being broiled on a gridiron in 258. The ancient Roman town of Laurentium derived its name from the laurel or bay tree, which presumably grew there. As VERBATIM is currently published from Laurel Heights, the snake has swallowed its tail. In any event, this book is well known to all who are familiar with onomastic literature, as, indeed, are other works by George Stewart, American Place-Names and Names on the Globe (reviewed in VERBATIM by W.F.H. Nicolaisen [II,4]). The first 40 or so pages are devoted to an excellent essay, titled Historical Sketch. Those who are interested in given names or in onmastics in general would do well to start here, then progress to the other books by Stewart and by Leslie Dunkling. We have a few copies left of House Names which we shall sent to any North Americans who send in a request accompanied by $1 to cover our costs. Appropriate Word It seems unnecessary, when we have available terms like informal, colloquial, formal, nonstandard, literary, poetic , and even conversational (though I have never seen the last used), to come up with still another set of labels, but Jules Hook, the author of a number of responsible and useful works dealing with English, feels that FF and SWE (for `family and friends' and `standard written English,' respectively) tell the user something that he might not already know or feel about usages of borderline words. Certainly, there was enough confusion about colloquial to move lexicographers a few decades ago to drop it in favor of informal ; but I used colloquial in a book I recently completed on the grounds that informal seemed to be getting contaminated. These terms fluctuate. It is a comfort to know that if my book still merits reprinting some decades hence, as it is in machine-readable form, the publishers need only write a short program indicating that informal be substituted for all occurrences of colloquial and, like magic, the switch will be effected. Hook goes on at some expressive length on the subject of FF and SWE and makes good sense, particularly when he emphasizes the ways in which language changes, so that the words classed taboo or formal in one generation might very well change places. Of course, the biggest problem with books of this sort is that the most they can expect to accomplish is to help people refine their use of the language: those whom we think of as needing the greatest amount of help are usually unaware of the fact; for them, looking up a doubtful usage in a book like Hook's (or anyone else's, or even a dictionary) would be unthinkable. Thus, the greatest service such a book could render is virtually aborted by definition. Depending on the degree of refinement of which the user is aware, that holds true for professionals as well. The other day, Reid Collins, a news presenter on CNN, used the expression the wheres and the whyfors , which, as far as I know, constitutes a fractured idiom in the category of I could care less . Hook has an entry for A.D./B.C. that comments on the placement of A.D. before a year and of B.C. after a year; there are professional editors who are unaware of that, so how will they know to look up the style in The Appropriate Word or any other style or usage book? Hook is more liberal than I: for instance, I cannot bring myself to condone spelling any more as one word in any context. I do not deny the fact that it does not appear as one word, but if it is going to appear that way in anything I have written it will be after I am dead (and if this carping keeps up, there will soon be a contract out on me). For one thing, I have not noted any change in the pronunciation of the compounded anymore--it is pronounced as if it were two words (in contrast to anybody, anything, anyhow, anywhere , etc.)--and I see no justification for spelling it as a solid word. In short, I do not agree with Hook in all matters, regardless of the respect I have for his judgment and the quality of his writing. I have not done a careful comparison among the various usage/style manuals to see what Hook might have that others do not, but I get the feeling that his work is very much up to date. If you write and wish to corroborate the style of what you have written, you will probably want as many books of this kind as you can lay your hands on, and it would definitely be a good idea to acquire this one. Laurence Urdang Appositional Elegance A Brief Exposition It has been a commonplace of language studies to explore signs and use them to elucidate the phenomena of elevation and degradation in the language. One can readily assess the relative status of establishments that refer to themselves as Eats, Diner , or Restaurant . One can also assume that in the United States a pub is at least one step above a bar , although a saloon may be a par with a pub since it connotes by-gone as opposed to a British (and therefore old-world) elegance. Within the past five or six years, however, I have observed that elegance has come to be a matter of phase rather than diction. The White House Inn , for example, has become The White House a Country Inn . Note there is no punctuation in the phrase nor a capital letter on the second article, and it is the second article that appears to be a key. (I should note that all examples come from establishments in and around the more elegant resorts of Vermont and New Hampshire, although I have witnessed the phenomenon in many parts of parts of the country). The article in the second half of the phrase, both makes the phrase appositional and indicates the upgrading of the referent. One example is Meredith Station a Restaurant a Grill a Niteclub; this location would appear to give the establishment a greater cachet than Meredith Station, Restaurant, Grill and Niteclub and certainly more than Meredith Bar and Grill . The series in this example helps to establish a set of alternative uses of Meredith Station and the rhythm appears to suggest mounting excitement. The apposition is to be distinguished from the adjectival modifier such as Barney's Good food in a Country Atmosphere , which serves to describe more precisely the type of establishment the motorist is approaching. Such phrases as Family Restaurant and Country Dining give clues to the eye as to expense and dress as well as to the establishment's attitude towards children and perhaps charge cards. Normally they are not prefixed by an article. Appositions abound in some areas of the country and not restricted to restaurants. They seem to be a mainstay of condominium resorts like The Margate at Winnepesaukee a Premier Lakes Region Resort (which suggests ownership); Winterberry a Resort Village; and Moon Ridge a Point of View , which contains a nice whimsy. One can also see appositions applied to barbers and hairdressers who go to great lengths to distinguish themselves. Split Ends a Cosmetology Shop is a nice example of appositional elegance combined with euphemism in the appositive and the low key or off-beat opening. Colanders The Vermont Housewares Outlet uses the definite article in the apposition to suggest both uniqueness and some official status. This use differs from the use of the appositional, The Movie , or The Book , which gives the reader a sense of connection with some previous experience. The use of the appositive to elevate appears to be a commercial manifestation of titular colonicity, the phenomenon noted first by J.T. Dillon in 1981. The phrase refers, of course to the use of colons in titles of scholarly works. Dillon argues that the prestige of a field can be empirically determined through the counting of the percentage of colons in a a corpus. He demonstrates his point through a comparison of three fields: literature, psychology, and education and their increasing use of colons in titles in the 1970s and 1980s. Literature led the way but the other fields have caught up. Dillon's article is a masterly socio-graphic analysis. It would seem that the commercial world has seen the power of titular colonicity but has had to devise its own manifestation. A colon makes sense on a title page. But would it work on a billboard? I think not; therefore the appositive. The device is not without its pitfalls however, as witness the following: Henry David's a Restaurant . The combination of the possessive and the apposition creates a solecism unless we assume that a word was omitted--perhaps Pub or Saloon . I have passed the sign several times in the past few years and recently noted that it had been cleaned and repainted, but the apostrophe remains. What Henry David possesses remains an enigma. But we know that it must be an upscale restaurant. J.T. Dillon. (1981). The emergence of the colon: An empirical correlate of scholarship. American Psychologist 36, 879-884. See also M. Townsend. (1983). titular colonicity and scholarship: New Zealand research and scholarly impact. New Zealand Journal of Psychology 12, 41-43. Townsend demonstrates the superiority of U. S. scholarship to that of New Zealand by the former's heavy use of colons in titles. The Gaelic View of Heather I once read that the Eskimo has 30-odd words for snow, not all of them impolite, which is not surprising in view of the Arctic habitat and lifestyle. But the Gael of Western Ireland and the Scottish Highlands endured an equally pervasive presence in the form of hundreds of square miles of heather covering moor and mountain to almost the complete extinction of other forms of vegetation. Moor and mountain use the same word in Gaelic ( monadh ) but more to the botanical point is the probable relation of moor to das meer , `the sea.' The loneliness and the heather-cloaked undulations of the vast deer forests of northern Scotland (forests distinguished by a complete absence of trees) are indeed evocative of the sea. Heather grows best in a maritime climate, and it is no coincidence that the homelands of the Celtic fringe in many places correspond to the western fringes of Europe. The Celts, pressed to the sea by the Romans, survived in lands either too rough for effective military operations or too incompatible to agriculture, but not too inhospitable for the Erica plant family. Like the Celts, this botanical family was well adapted for survival in rough places. It can grow in sand; it can grow in bogs; and because of a symbiotic relationship with a wide range of fungi, it can grow in stony or peaty lands that provide no nourishment to ordinary plants. In some places the names of the plant and the wasteland where it grows are synonyms. In France it is maquis (and also the name of the guerrillas who lived there). In southern England it is heath (also giving heathens , it appears, for those who lived there). While gardeners today make the distinction between heath and heather plants, these words are said to derive by separate paths from some ancient word for wasteland; heath via the Anglo-Saxon, and heather via Norse hadder . In Scandinavia, the plant itself is called lyng or ling , which is a common name in Yorkshire and northern England generally for what the Scots and Irish call heather . Ling is used as a name in parts of Scotland too, but this includes the rough grasses as well as the heathers that grow on the wasterland. Heath is another common name used in England for the common heather , but gardeners everywhere reserve heath for the closely related plants that are not heather . Heath has also been used for the other shrubby non-ericaceous plants like gorse ( furze , whins ) and broom that could survive on the heath. In Cornwall, heather is called by an altogether different name, namely, grig ; and in Wales it is called grug (pronounced GREEG); both words are Celtic, reflecting their ancient homelands. In the Gaelic parts of Scotland and Ireland, the word for heather was fraoch , pronounced nearly like German frch . There are many regional differences in Gaelic, and fraoch can be pronounced FREWX or FRAWX in some parts of Gaeldom, perhaps explaining some of the spellings that have come into English for health-related words like frawlin or fraughan for blueberry, and freuchan for the reinforcing toe cap of a brogue (shoe, not accent) to prevent excessive wear by the heather. While heath, heather , and ling represent the Germanic input into English, only grig (Cornish) has made it directly from Celtic into English. The Celtic names grug and fraoch apparently come from Old Celtic v-roikos , which is cognate (or so says Klein's Etymological Dictionary ) with Latin brucus , meaning `maned or bristled.' Heaths and heather are indeed finely leaved plants which in a sense are bristly, but their botanical name ( Erica for heath, Calluna for heather) reflect the properties of their stems. Erica is ultimately from the Greek for `easily broken,' and Calluna is a Latin and Greek word for `sweep or broom,' heather twigs being superior to those of heath for this purpose, which indeed might leave as much mess as it cleared up. Calluna , although many variant garden forms are known, consists of only the one species, Calluna vulgaris . Erica (the name Linnaeus gave originally to both heath and heather), however, comprises several hundred species, nearly all found in the Cape of South Africa, with fewer than a dozen found in the rest of the world. In Scotland only two exist; Erica cinerea and Erica tetralix . In spite of Linnaeus' epithet (`ashy'), the former is called bell heather by all Scots and fine-leaved heath by many botanists; the latter is often called bell heather , too, by noncritical observers (since the flowers are very bell-like), but is known as the cross-leaved heath by those who pay more attention to the strongly two-ranked arrangement of the tiny needlelike leaves. Ireland has two other heaths as well, namely E.erigena (`Irish born') and the rarer E. Mackaiana (`Mackay's Heath'), and a closely related plant called St.Daboec's or Connemara Heath . The Irish heath has gone through two prior botanically mandated name changes, E. mediterranea and E. hibernica , which is why Mediterranean heath is another name for it. Though there are three other (two very rare) relatives of heath in Scotland and two very local heaths found mainly in Dorset and Cornwall, the overall picture for the common experience in Gaeldom is one heather and two heaths in Scotland, and one heather and four (or possibly five) heaths in Ireland. With so limited a number one might have supposed a simple array of Gaelic terms would suffice for unarguable assignment to the proper plant, but that is not so. Irish Gaelic has an extensive written literature based on old monastic tradition (and the newer nationalism), but Scots Gaelic by comparison is in poor shape. It was dropped at the court of Gaelic kings in favour of English about 900 years ago, perhaps to please an English queen or perhaps to ensure the retention of the English-speaking half of Northumbria ceded to Scotland. But the effect was the gradual displacement of Gaelic by the development of Scots English parallel with southern English (as the successors to the respective Anglian and Saxon mainstreams). The rare appearance of Scots Gaelic in written documents, at least in surviving written documents, until as late as the 15th or 16th century, is perhaps a consequence. Or perhaps it was the strong Celtic-Druid emphasis on oral transmission that led to the situation at the beginning of this century that while Scotland had over 230,000 who spoke Gaelic (many of whom, however, also spoke English), the majority was technically illiterate in Gaelic, being unable to read or write in their own tongue. At this time (1901) Ireland had 640,000 Gaelic speakers in a population of about 4 million, the same as Scotland. The Isle of Man had 5,000 Gaelic speakers, but, alas, they have almost disappeared today. Scots Gaelic dictionaries are heavily dependent on Irish sources, especially for the older words, and the dictionaries are full of variant and regional forms. There are two Scots Gaelic dictionaries readily available today. One, by Dwelly, was issued in fascicles from 1901 to 1911, and although the 10th edition was published in 1988, it is only a photocopy of earlier reprints containing the same errors as the first edition of 1912. Dwelly set out to compile the Gaelic from all earlier dictionaries and was very successful in an encyclopedic effort; but the work would have been more useful had it an English-to-Gaelic section and provided some etymological clues as to meaning. The second dictionary, by MacLennan, is two-way and ventures a modest etymology which is helpful. But the recently issued edition is again only a photocopy of the 1925 original, and is maddening in its failure to separate senses through lumping together of English homonyms without explanation (e.g., crow : `bird,' `boast,' or `pry-bar'?). Using Dwelly, MacLennan, and a list of plant names in a 1925 book of tartans (published by W.A. K. Johnston) I have compiled the following Gaelic names for heather with their literal translations. Sometimes these are given by the dictionary; sometimes it is the best guess I can come up with in spite of the inconsistencies, the regionalisms, and the often considerable changes in the inflected word stems of Gaelic which create huge pitfalls for the novice translator. GAELIC ENGLISH LATIN fraoch commom heather Calluna vulgaris gorm `blue heather' froach bell heather `red Erica cinerea dearg heather' fraoch- cross-leaved heath Erica tetralix Frangach `French heather' fraoch- Irish heath `Irish Erica erigena Eireannach heather' fraoch Connermara heath Daboecia cantabrica Dhaboch `St. Daboec's heather' In addition, Dwelly gives other terms for bell heather or smooth-leaved heath, as he calls it: GAELIC ENGLISH fraoch `tuted heather' (a)bhadain fraoch-an- `heath in which wind makes a buzzing sound' or `which crackles when being burnt' fraoch- `cracklng' or `screeching heather' sgriachain fraoch- `heather with a loud sound when burstin' spreadanach while MacLennan gives: fraoch- `fived [sic] leaved heath' (for E. cinerea) badain fraoch- `cat heather' (for E. tetralix), also rendered frangach as mionfhraoch `small heather' and fraoch `faulty, blemished(?) or twiggy(??) meangain heather' Dwelly also gives fraoch-an-ruinnse for the cross-leaved heath ( E. tetralix ) which might mean `heather with the long tail,' but more probably means `heather for rinsing or scouring.' In Scots English (and Burns's songs) reenge (in its variant forms) is a `scouring pad made of the twisted stems of heather,' E. tetralix presumably being best for this purpose. From W.A.K. Johnston we learn that fraochdearg was the badge of clan MacDougal; fraoch-geal (white heather) the badge of the MacDonnells; and fraoch gorm the badge worn by clans MacDonald, MacNab, MacIntyre, and MacAlister, which practice could have been rather confusing during periods of clan warfare. He also assigns dluth fraoch to the clan Robertson, translated as the `fine-leaved heath' (i.e., E. cinerea ) but which is literally `near or close to heather'; and fraoch nam Meinnearach is assigned to clan Menzies, though the name probably derives from Archibald Menzies, a well-known 18th-century botanist of North America, rather than from a very rare heather this clan is not likely to have encountered, never mind worn into battle. Other Gaelic words related to heather are: fraoch-mara seaweed `heather of the sea' fraochan bilberry, blueberry, or whortleberry fraochag cranberry, but also bilberry, etc. dearcan-fraoich blueberry `berry of the heather' Dwelly also gives fraoch nam curra bhitheag without translation. Since word order and aspiration give conflicting clues as to noun and adjective, a number of literal meanings, all equally implausible, seem possible. Though a gardener might well suggest `heather of the pointy bit,'a hungry man could come up with `anger at an unusually small portion,' and a dentist `a sour expression due to an uneven bite. Dwelly says, See fraochan, But fraochan can be blueberry or, cranberry,' or a fit of passion,' or part of a deer,' or the `extra toe-cap of a shoe,' This suggests the real translation is `a tapered little piece of (leather to prevent wear of the shoe by the) heather.' Fraoch itself has other meanings which must go back to Old Celtic. Dwelly gives a `ripple on the surface of water'; and MacLennan says, `bristles, anger, a girning expression of countenance.' To help non-Scots readers, I should add that girning by a bairn is the precursor or consequence of greeting, which, like girning, is very grating to a parent. So, golfers, the next time you are in Ireland or Scotland, ponder why the Gaels used such combustible terms for heather and eschewed the features like bells and crosses that impressed themselves on Anglo-Saxons. And as you search for your ball in the fraoch, keep that fraoch off your face; and though you feel like eschewing your bootlaces, be careful what kind of fraochan you are eating. I was surprised and dismayed at the content of the lead article in VERBATIM, The Germanization of American English [XVI,4]. You must be desperate for articles, to have published such a thinly-disguised screed of Teutomophobia. Indeed, Mr. Mason's call to purify English of Germanic influences reminds one of the French hysteria over Franglais, or of the more sinister years in this century when a Telefon become a Fernsprecher, a Radio become a Rundfunk, and so ordinary a personage as Mama became a Fricka-like Mutti. If Mr. Mason is so distressed at the state of American English, I invite him to leave Switzerland and take up residence in Boston, Massachusetts. There he can take his pick of universities in which to begin undoing the damage of gerundial clauses that take an accusative (We appreciate you coming...); anarchically creative spelling (no modern journalist seems capable of distinguishing between phase and faze, let alone spelling words like internecine -- internascene?!); and worst of all, the epidemic of split infinitives that has plagued this country for the past several years. (True, no less an authority than H.W. Fowler gave short shrift to those who would split hairs over split infinitives; but I feel fairly sure that even he would draw the line at a phrase like, To be or to not be ...) Incidentally, I refer Mr. Mason to Mr. Fowler's comments on the German language under the heading fused participate in A Dictionary of Modern English Usage . Mr. Mason may find a crumb of comfort in realizing that things in America could be worse; apparently, back around 1776, German missed being the official American language by one vote. For myself, I have not ceased to lament that one-vote decision. In any event, may I suggest that in future, when considering essays for publication, you ask yourself if you would publish the essay if the foreign language under discussion were, say, Yiddish or Polish or Spanish or French or Russian. If not, then the essay is clearly bigoted, and should not be accepted for publication at all. Amy Stoller's letter [XVII,1] identifies Jerry Leiber and Mike Stoller as the creators of Is That All There Is? She has inadvertently slighted that giant of Tin Pan Allee-Thomas Mann. In Disillusionment (1897), an old man in Venice recalls the past: So this, I thought, is a fire. This is what it is like to have the house on fire. Is this all there is to it? Then, remembering being jilted, he asks, Is this all? Finally, he expects death to be that last disappointment.... So this is the great experience--well, what of it? What is it after all? And all these years critics have jeered at Thomas's brother Heinrich as the great popularizer! VERBATIM, as we know, is about language. It is difficult to keep language distinct from writing, though readers of this quarterly might have become aware that the reviews of books appearing in these pages often comment on the execrable turgidity of the writing of most linguists. To be sure, proficiency in linguistics offers no assurance of proficiency in writing; indeed, from the extensive reading I have done in the subject, I could easily be led to believe that the former precludes that latter. It is questionable whether comments on writing made other than in the course of reviews is appropriate in VERBATIM: perhaps they are best left to the periodicals that specialize in such matters, like Writer's Digest and The Writer . However, since many of VERBATIM's readers are writers, professionally or not, a few personal remarks might not be considered entirely inapt. It must be seen that there are many, many different kinds of writing. For the sake of convenience, writing is divided into fiction and nonfiction, with subdivisions of each, too numerous to list here. Because of the nature of my own work, I read little fiction and write virtually none, though a few years ago I did win first prize in England for a short story: the first prize was a dinner for two at a country restaurant I shall not identify; I have a feeling that the second prize was a dinner for four at the same restaurant, but that did nothing to diminish my elation at having won. That elation was followed at once by the ineluctable conviction that the other submissions must have been very bad for my poor effort to have taken the prize, and my feelings about the story have vacillated between those extremes ever since. In short, I am not what is known in the trade as copy proud:my feelings about my own writing range from occasional smugness with a job well done to abject frustration and misery at my inability to express myself articulated in writing (given the amount of time and resources available). I fancy that many writers feel the same way. I often question whether I am a writer. If a writer is, by definition, one who writes a fair amount and does so professionally (for which read gets paid for it), I suppose I can call myself a writer. On the other hand, I know people who write a great deal, and who write very well, but whose work has never been published. It is unfair to include being published as a criterion of being a writer--at least a good writer: as we all know, some of the best writers seem to have been published only by the merest chance; we also know that some of the worst writers are published continually and have miniseries and films made from the trash they grind out. My sentiments about my own writing alter rapidly when I encounter a singularly felicitous piece of writing, and in this connection. I must bring to the reader's attention a collection of essays by William B. Ober, M.D., called Bottoms Up! The paperback edition I have was published in England in 1990 by W.H. Allen, as an Allison & Busby Book; it was published earlier in North America, but a bookshop or library will have to supply the publisher's name. The essays were originally published in periodicals like the Bulletin of the New York Academy of Medicine, The American Journal of Dermatopathology , and other professional journals, for Dr. Ober is a (now retired) pathologist. There are fourteen essays in the collection, and if anyone ever had any question about how to distinguish erotica from pornographica, the answer lies in these pages: some of these essays are clearly erotic (Bottoms Up!The Fine Arts and Flagellation, Robert Musil: What Price Homosexual Sadism?, Carlo Gesualdo, Prince of Venosa: Murder, Madrigals, and Masochism, and The Iconography of Fanny Hill : How to Illustrate a Dirty Book), but they are not pornographic; others are somewhat more clinical (Johnson and Boswell: `Vile Melancholy' and `The Hypochondriack); all exhibit a quality of writing rarely encountered. I have never discussed writing with ober, and I am tempted to ask him whether he must labour mightily to produce the causal intellectualism that prevades his essays. (He has another collection, Boswell's Clap & Other Essays , from the same publisher(s), which is as good as this one.) Occasionally, when the opportunity presents itself, he deliberately drops a delicious tidbit: Following this epicene epiphany of ephebic eroticism, Trless experiences a profound guilt reaction. One gets the distinct impression that Ober enjoys what he is doing. On the other hand, who can be sure? Some of the best writers complain that their best work is the result of monumental mental effort and many painful rewritings. This seems an appropriate point to insert a personal confession. Readers who have noted a marked increase in typographical errors in VERBATIM can lay the blame on my doorstep, which supports a very low boredom threshold. All submitted articles are read by me; if they are worthy of consideration, they are read again, carefully, and styled for the compositor; by the time the proofs arrive, I am reading the article for the third time and cannot see all the horrible things the typesetter might have done. It is not that the articles are boring, merely that the tedium of reading them for the third or fourth time interferes with my ability to identify mistakes. Besides, if there were more errors, they would probably be easier to catch. But we have very good compositors, and if they make errors, they are often very subtle. In the future, I shall try to arrange for someone else to read proof on VERBATIM. End of apologia. As the reader can tell, both from these comments and from my shabby efforts in this periodical, I can rarely support the rewriting of my own material and, in fact, almost never rewrite anything of my own. If the reader wants to read something that is not only informative and entertaining but can be admired for its style, panache, and humor, let him get Dr. Ober's books. If I find the space to treat this subject again, I shall discuss the dark side of writing, writing that is unutterably boring the first time it is read. The family said they would try to bury him again tomorrow. [Dan Rather, CBS Evening News, . Submitted by ] Attractive, divorced Jewish woman 41. Reubenesque, professional. [From a personal ad in the White Plains Reporter-Dispatch , . Submitted by of White Plains who suggests, Maybe she wears dotted Swiss.] (The cyclist) hopes to survive the 2,020-mile race through the French countryside and mountains to ride down Paris' eloquent avenue, Champs Elyses. [From the Los Angeles Times , . Submitted by ] Your thumb or fingerprint will be taken. [From the California Driver Handbook, . Submitted by ] Millionaire Magazine , Palm Beach, has filed Chapter 7 Bankruptcy in Miami. [From Freelance Writer's Report , . Submitted by ] After much adieu, the TC by Masarati Sports Coupe has finally arrived. [a caption in Black Enterprise , p. 108. Submitted by ] Asked about social need, Burdette said, `Our safety net has a lot of holes in it.' [From the Parkersburg (West Virginia) News , . submitted by ] Abusing the King's English ...here will be an old abusing of God's patience and the king's English. The Merry Wives of Windsor (i.4.5-6) Although Rex Harrison died over a year ago, some of his fans still regret that, apart from one try in Much Ado About Nothing , he had never done a Shakespearean comedy. With what acerbic suavity would he have retorted to Katherina's ... and so farewell, with What! with my tongue in your tail? The Taming of the Shrew (ii.1.217). Indeed, Shakespeare would have been delighted by a Harrison rendition of many of the more than a thousand naughty passages that have so diligently been compiled by Eric Partridge in his Shakespeare's Bawdry . Partridge's are all instances of intentionally naughty entries. But far more hilarious are those items penned by the Bard that were never intended to shock or amuse a future evil-minded generation such as ours with indelicate, let alone indecent, suggestiveness, Rex Harrison or no! In Othello (v.2.266), even the most unflappable reader must gasp at the Moor's offer to Gratiano: Here is my journey's end, here is my butt, nor will his guffaws entirely abate after he learns that butt here means goal . In Twelfth Night (v.1.126), it would appear that Duke Orsino was not fully aware of what was befalling him when he admitted to Olivia that I partly know the instrument that screws me. In Sonnets to Sundry Notes of Music (I.15), we find the puzzling howler, Then lullaby, the learned man hath got the lady gay. Gay is used here as a compliment, but today's jaded reader will snicker at the line. In King Lear (iii.3.15 et seq.), one is comforted to note that the generous Gloucester is eager to become the wretched Lear's nurse's aide, as he assures Edmund that I will seek him and privily relieve him...the king, my old master, must be relieved. In Macbeth (v.3.54), your normally prurient theater-goer may well sense a hint of Onan when Macbeth orders the Doctor to Pull't off, I say. In Hamlet (iv.7.85), the King seems to be hinting rather indelicately to Laertes that Lamord, the Norman horseman, had beefed up a bit, when he picturesquely notes that ...he grew into his seat. Similarly, in Troilus and Cressida (i.3.31-33), Nestor offers Agamemnon this flattering description of a monarch's royal behind: With due observance of thy god-like seat, Great Agamemnon, Nestor shall apply Thy latest words. And never mind that seat in both quotes means throne. In King John (ii.1.413-14), even the gentlest reader may be forgiven for wondering what in the name of propriety is going on in the armies of Austria and France, when the Bastard informs King John that From north to south Austria and France shoot in each other's mouth. One should note another category made up of various terms and phrases that have a decidedly modern flavor that is not quite what our playwright had intended for them. These are items that may raise the stiffest eyebrows, as in Cymbeline (iii.3.21-2), where the reader may infer that the mail service was just as deficient then as it is today, when Belarius gripes to his sons, Guiderius and Arvigarus, O! this life Is nobler than attending for a check, --or maybe the check was not even in the mail. Were Shakespeare writing today, he might have to revise some passages in order to avoid misunderstanding, as might be the case with Scarus's declaration to Antony in Antony and Cleopatra (iv.7.9-10) that I have yet Room for six scotches more. Though Scarus's reference is to cuts or gashes, today's in genuous reader might well assume that Scarus was preparing to go on a bender. In the opening chorus of King Henry V , lines 11-12, there is asked can this cockpit hold The vasty fields of France? No anachronism here, of course, as cockpit refers, not to a part of an airplane, but to an enclosed place for fighting cocks and, in a transferred sense, to a circular theater. When Katharina tells Petruchio in The Taming of the Shrew (iii.2.214) You may be jogging whiles your boots are green, she was referring to transportation by horse and not to our current physical fitness mania. And the puke-stocking mentioned by Prince Henry in 1 Henry IV (ii.4.79-80) is not a reference to the hosiery worn by our kind of jogger, but to a dark woolen cloth. Is there a more up-to-date clich than tender loving care? In 2 Henry VI (iii.2.279-80), the king issues the command: Go, Salisbury, and tell them all from me, I thank them for their tender loving care. Here are some other noteworthy current terms used by Shakespeare: good brother -- this expression of common present usage is found in Julius Caesar (iv.3.236) where, after Cassius had bidden him good-night, Brutus replies, Good-night, good brother. not so hot -- Goneril says this to Regan, King Lear (v. 3.67). pent-house -- Macbeth (i.3.19-20): Sleep shall neither night nor day Hang upon his pent-house lid. But pent-house here refers to eyelids, not to a lavish apartment. eye-sore -- The Taming of the Shrew (iii.2.103-4), Baptista to Petrucchio: Fie! doff this habit, shame to your estate, eye-sore to our solemn festival. Also, in The Rape of Lucrece (lines 204-5): Yea, though I die, the scandal will survive, be an eye-sore in my golden coat. This contemporary term, incidentally, was first recorded, according to the Second Edition of The Random House Unabridged , around 1250-1300. to do (someone) wrong -- The Rape of Lucrece , line 1462: And therefore Lucrece swears he did her wrong, and in King Lear (i.2.186), Edgar complaints: Some villain hath done me wrong. Both lines anteceded by centuries Frankie and Johnny , not to mention Mae West. turn off -- in Antony and Cleapatra (iii.6.93-4), Mecaenas tells Octavia: Only the adulterous Antony, most large In his abominations, turns you off. RH-II notes that turn off is slang for something or someone that makes one unsympathetic or antagonistic, dating the entry 1680-90. like to -- In Pericles (iv.2.80), Marina says, To 'scape his hands where I was like to die. RH-II labels this current expression to be of South Midland and southern U.S. origin and means to be on the verge of. poop -- In Pericles (iv.2.25), as he relates what the little baggage did to the Transylvanian in the brothel, Boult says that she quickly pooped him, meaning that she overwhelmed him. In today's slang, pooped has the sense of exhausted , and sometimes worse. Shakespeare even managed to insert a bit of what sounds like current Anglo-Yiddish slang. In two instances, both found in Venus and Adonis , namely, line 617: Whose tushes never sheath's he whetteth still, and line 624: And whom he strikes his crooked tushes slay, tushes means tusks . But tush , or tushie , is current slang for buttocks , an apparent alteration of the Yiddish tokhes , of like meaning. Ah, but it is the unintentional humor we return to for our heartiest laughs! In The Rape of Lucrece , lines 780-81, we know that he refers to the sun, but we may be forgiven if we assume that Tarquin is meant, considering that gentleman's passionate activities of the night before with Lucrece: The life of purity, the supreme fair, Ere he arrive his weary', noontide prick. Then there is this passage in Troilus and Cressida (i.3.343) that has been distinguished by being placed just before the index to the eleventh edition of Bartlett's Familiar Quotations (New York, W.F. Collier & Son, 1937): And in such indexes, although small pricks To their subsequent volumes, there is seen The baby figure of the giant mass Of things to come at large. Could this be a commentary on what an arousal can do for a man's morale? Ah, but one final image remains ever green! It is that of a future Rex Harrison in the role of Armado in Love's Labour's Lost (v.1.111-13) expressing to Holofernes his feelings toward his monarch, as he avows how he would gladly permit his king to lean upon my poor shoulder, and with his royal finger, thus dally with my excrement. Nor is the vividness of this tableau entirely diminished when one notes that, as here used, excrement is a synonym for hair . It is too cynical to foresee that some irreverent smarty-pants will one day pry and dig and garner further items of unintentional humor out of our supreme poet's writings? Is it too fanciful to predict that many of the Bard's words are, even now, lying low awaiting the coming of the inevitable day when they shall become of the bright, new-minted, contemporary expressions of tomorrow? Serious crime down, but murders increase. [From the Rocky Mountain News , Denver, Colorado, . Submitted by ] Other cities around the nation will sponsor crime prevention awareness activities tonight, but not Olean. Candlelight marches, children's activities and block parties will take place as neighbors unite to speak out against crime prevention across the country. [From the Olean Times Herald , . Submitted by ] One thousand marijuana plants have been seized in a joint police investigation near here Monday. [From the Kitchener-Waterloo (Canada) Record , . Submitted by ] The podium erected in front of building A was surrounded by a semicircle of spectators on wooden chairs. [From Doctors by Erich Segal, p. 316. Submitted by ] Each of the four rings were positioned inside each other. [From an article on laser capability in Job Shop Technology , . Submitted by ] Names of Santa Fe According to some authorities, when the present capital of New Mexico was founded by Spanish colonizers in 1610, it was named La Villa Real de Santa Fe de San Francisco de Ass . In later versions this grandiloquent title, really more a dedication than a name, sometimes has the definite article la inserted between de and Santa , which changes the meaning from Saint Francis of Assisi's Royal City of Holy Faith to the Royal City of the Holy Faith of Saint Francis of Assisi . In modern times at least, and possibly since its founding, the capital, no longer royal, has been known simply as Santa Fe . Since Romance derivatives of Latin sanctus mean holy as well as saint , the Spanish name today, like the same name for several towns in countries of Spanish culture, means in English `Holy Faith.' Incidentally, English-speaking writers more used to French than to Spanish names often misspell the name: Sante Fe. By whatever name, Santa Fe is nestled in the foothills of a cordilleran spur called the Sangre de Cristos . No one really knows how this mountain range came to be named for the Blood of Christ, but educated guesses are not lacking. At sunset these mountains are sometimes suffused with a rosy glow that some romantis souls like to think could have inspired the descriptive name. However, sixteenth-century Spaniards and their descendants were too literal about their religion and too indifferent to nature to be inspired by sunsets. A more probable explanation attributed to a thoughtful historian named Bill Tate is that cruciform crevasses, in winter filled with snow, that are visible on the mountainside from San Gabriel, the first Spanish capital, reminded Juan de Oate, the leader of the first successful Spanish colonizing expedition, of the cross he wore to symbolize membership in a lay religious order devoted to reverence for the Precious Blood of Christ. The trouble here is that according to T.M. Pearce's New Mexico Place Names as late as 1790 the range was called Sierra Madre and has been called by its present name only since the early nineteenth century. The most plausible etymology, in my opinion, suggested by the learned Fr. Benedicto Cuesta among others, is that the range took its name from penitente chapels or shrines in its foothills consecrated to the Redeeming Blood of Christ at a time when in the Spanish empire such chapels were so numerous that Blood of Christ was practically synonymous with chapel . By modern standards the Spanish colonial and briefly Mexican capital of New Mexico was more a village than a city. Almost as the Spaniards founded their capital on the ruins of an Indian pueblo, the American conquerors of New Mexico built their territorial capital on and around a dilapidated Spanish-Mexican core, little of which remains today. The city of some 55,000 as it exists today derives much more from the town built by Anglos who have been attracted here since the mid nineteenth century than from the Spanish-Mexican colonists and their descendants who populated the tiny frontier capital for over two centuries previously. The names and architecture of Santa Fe have gone through three parallel stages in a parabolic course. The original architecture was Andalusian filtered through the tastes and customs of Mexico (then called New Spain) and further modified by the materials available and the centuries-old experience of the Pueblo Indians. The walls were of adobe, which to the first Anglos was mud, pure and simple. In north Texas adobe bricks were even called Dallas stiff-muds. The roofs were flat and supported by trimmed logs called vigas , and they leaked. To most Victorian Anglo-Americans the houses of Santa Fe, even the sprawling governor's palace, were at best unrefined and at worst squalid. So in the second stage of construction the primitive structures of the Spanish-colonial past were gradually replaced and surrounded by more proper architecture. The relatively grand new cathedral, for instance, was built in the style of Archbishop Lamy's native Provence. Aside from a scattering of historic colonial buildings around and near the plaza, the oldest buildings in Santa Fe tend to be in a style that owes more to the American Midwest and East than to Hispanic or Indian origins. Then came the third stage early in the twentieth century, when Santa Fe was invaded by a more sophisticated, in some cases artistic, cosmopolitan kind of Anglo-American that recognized the esthetic value and appreciated the exotic charm of the surviving bits of the colonial town and began to cultivate a revival. Others, Hispanic and Anglo, came to see in this revival commercial potential, and modified versions of the old Pueblo and Territorial styles have dominated, indeed monopolized, architecture in the capital ever since. Nomenclature has tended to parallel the physical metamorphoses of Santa Fe. At first and throughout the seventeenth century there were no streets to bear names, only a nameless quasi-street leading a short way from the parish church. A Friar Dominguez is quoted by Adrian H. Bustamente in Santa Fe--History of an Ancient City as describing the villa in 1776, the year of American independence from British rule, as consisting of many small ranches at various distances from one another, with no plan as to their location, for each owner built as he was able, wished to, or found convenient, now for the little farms they have there, now for small herds of clattle which they keep in corrals of stakes, or else for other reasons. Such place names as there were applied to clusters of buildings, such as casas reales (royal houses), renamed Palace of the Governors by the Anglo-Americans, or Barrio de Analco for the cluster that housed Mexican-Indians. ( Analco is Nahuatl, the language of the Aztecs, and means `on the other side' [of the river].) Roads entering the settlement were called by the names of the towns or places to which they led, such as Camino de Pecos, Camino del Alamo, or Camino de la Canada . And eventually physical features such a main irrigation ditch ( acequia madre ) or the wall that enclosed the official buildings gave their names to streets associated with these features. But the oldest streets in the modern city date back to the Anglo-American occupation and reconstruction and therefore have such basically English names as: Washington, Lincoln, Palace Avenue, San Francisco Street, Cathedral Place , and so on. These streets and their names correspond to the architecture of the first wave of Anglo-American occupation. Likewise the period of revival of Pueblo-colonial architecture in the twentieth century corresponds to an attempt to revive Spanish, or at least historic nomenclature. So the recently constructed loop around the inner city has been named Paseo de Peralta . The thoroughfare entering town from the south that was originally called Telegraph Street because the telegraph line ran along it and was later renamed College Street because St. Michael's College was built there is now romantically called Old Santa Fe Trail . It is in the often hastily constructed and hastily named developments on the edges of Santa Fe that the names are most feverishly given. In Santa Fe, where the Hispanic heritage and population remain considerable, the new pseudo-Spanish names are more apt to be correct than in, say, California or Tucson. Nevertheless, there are many cases of developers' pidgin. The most common solecisms are those of syntax and grammatical gender. Though there are plenty of examples to show that some namers of streets in Santa Fe are aware that in Spanish a definitive modifier follows the modified word, so that there are streets properly named, for instance, Camino Cerrito, Calle Lorca , or Plaza Fatima , there are other street names that betray oblivion to this grammatical rule, for example: Monte Vista Place or Cielo Vista Court where Monte Vista and Cielo Vista are supposed to mean respectively Mountain View and Sky View but, so far as they signify anything, really mean View Mountain and View Sky or Heaven . Even more common in Santa Fe are names in which adjectives fail to agree as to gender with the nouns they modify, for example: Calle Largo, Calle Lejano , or Calle Contento . This error may be due in part to the English tendency to reduce all unaccented final vowels to schwa and in part due to the fact that Spanish adjectives are listed in dictionaries in their masculine forms only. Also, out of context Spanish adjectives are thought of as masculine. One can imagine a bulldozer operator as he blades out a road for a new development being hailed by the developer thus: Hey, Loyd ... (Here I should explain that there is a fairly recent new tendency to give Spanish-surnamed babies jarringly un-Spanish first names, which results in such oddities as Loyd Martinez or Priscilla Chavez. In this practice, I believe, we are happily lagging behind the Brazilians.) Hey Loyd, how do you say long in Spanish? To which Loyd Martinez, bilingual, might reply, Largo. So Long Street would be Largo Calle? (To the Anglo ear the final o , an a , and perhaps the e of calle are schwa.) No, turn it around: Calle Larga . Oh, yeah, now I see it here, in this pocket dictionary-- largo . And knowing calle from previous experience, the Anglo developer jots on his pad Calle Largo . The phonemic distinction between unaccented final a and o goes in one Anglo ear and out the other. Finally, there are Santa Fe names that are simply pretentious or inept. The Rio Grande, the river in whose valley the capital lies, has been called the Great River in English, maybe partly because Spanish Grande suggests English Grand , but in fact Rio Grande means simply Big River . Great River would be Gran Rio . (That tricky syntax again.) Formally correct but pretentious is the street name Camino del Monte Sol , which before it was paved was sometimes irreverently called Camino del Muddy Soil . Then there is La Fonda, the rather famous Harvey hotel that superseded the old Exchange Hotel when the local Anglos woke up to the touristic value of Spanish nomenclature and architecture. A Mexican newcomer to Santa Fe once told me that he had been much puzzled by hearing rich Anglo tourists extol the charm of La Fonda (in English pronounced like fond plus schwa). In Mexico, he explained, a fonda is the cheapest, grubbiest sort of dive. Whereas sexologists have previously asked whether the female gentilia resemble those of men, Eve's Secret suggests that men's sexual organs may be derived from those of women. [From a Paladin/Grafton book advertisement in The Guardian , n.d., . Submitted by ] To the Foot of the Letter, I'm Listening to a Turkish Sermon! Charles V held that Spanish should be spoken to the gods, French to men, Italian to the ladies, German to soldiers, English to geese, Hungarian to horses and Bohemian to the Devil ... We take it for granted that our language is the most natural mode of expression and we look upon others with tolerant amusement if not hostility. Noah Jonathan Jacobs in Naming Day in Eden Man is so much shaped by the language he speaks that he tends to get locked into that particular language structure. As Mr. Jacobs affirms, what does not conform to the rules of one's native tongue is not just different, it is wrong or at the very least, odd. When I took my first foreign language in high school, I clearly remember being intolerantly amused by the peculiar way Spanish speakers say certain things, which I learned were called idiomatic expressions. They often seemed like idiotic expressions to me. For example, why would anyone in his right mind ask, How do you call yourself? instead of the perfectly sensible, What's your name? and put a question mark not only where it belonged at the end but at the beginning of the sentence--and up-side-down--to boot? Why make a crazy statement like It makes beautiful, for It's nice weather? And so on. I was recently reminded of all this while boning up on my Spanish before traveling with my husband to Central America. Y no tengo pelos en la lengua (`And I don't have hair on my tongue: I'm telling you what I think'), that is, llamo al pan pan, y al vino vino (`I'm calling bread bread and wine wine: I'm calling a spade a spade')--it's a muy fascinating language! In the years since my youthful folly, I have become entranced with the splendid beauty of the Spanish tongue. And once again, as I have refreshed my memory, I have savored the picturesque idiosyncratic verbal constructions of the language. Who cannot become enmeshed in the rich rolling of r's in a word like `railroad,' ferrocarril? How could one not be astounded by the funny logic of, say, meeting one's match by encountering the shoestring of one's shoe: encontrarse con la herma de su zapato? Or who could fail to be entertained while attempting trabalenguas (`troubled tongues: tongue twisters') like: Yo no compro coco. Porque como poco coco, poco coco compro . (`I don't buy coconut. Since I eat little coconut, I buy little coconut.'), and Mi mama me mima mucho . (`My mother spoils me a lot.')? Noah Jonathan Jacobs speaks about the universality of linguistic chauvinism: We characterize unintelligible speech by saying, That's Greek to me, the Russians and Rumanians by That's Chinese to me, the French by That's Hebrew to me, the Germans by That's Spanish to me, and the Poles by I'm listening to a Turkish sermon. [Naming Day in Eden, Noah Jonathon Jacobs, p. 60] Casting aspersions on them, as opposed to us, finds Spanish-speakers no exceptions to the rule. Take, for instance, the various ways they characterize the concept of playing dumb: In Bolivia it is to become an Italian: hacerse el italiano ; in Colombia the English get it with hacerse el ingls ; in Mexico one becomes a gourd-- hacerse guaje --and El Salvador's hacerse el papo equates playing the fool with one who has a double chin; hacerse chino in Equador means `to fool someone [by acting like a Chinese].' On the Continent it is bad' cess to the British, for in Spain if you are `surrounded by Englishmen' you are being dunned to pay your bills. Working for the English means you earn a mere pittance. Ir a la alemana `to go German' is the equivalent of our Dutch treat . And dull wit is un chiste alemn `a German joke.' If one `has a rat' or `catches a Turk' in Spain ( tener un ratn; coger una turca ) he gets drunk. ( Una turca is also `a liar.') Getting drunk in Panama, on the other hand, is estar en fuego `to be on fire.' The Basques take verbal beating too, for in Spain una basqueria is `a Basque [a dirty trick].' Vasconcear translates `to speak Basque, to jabber.' I suspect basquear `to be nauseated' has the same source. And if the cost is not clear, hay moros en la costa `there are Moors on the coast.' Insult is not limited just to other nationalities, either. To a Spanish-speaker, a noisy party is una boda de negros `a Negro wedding.' Se arm la de San Quintin indicates a terrible row has taken place. Adding diminutive suffixes is often a disparaging tactic. For instance, add- illo to a respected lawyer, abogado , and you have an ignorant one, un abogadillo . The small-town mentality is derided in the use of aldeanismo , an aldea being a `small village.' And there is a whole array of American barrio slang to tickle one's fancy. For example, La chata is an affectionate slang term meaning `funny face,' `honey,' or `cutie,' but in Central America or Spain a fellow would probably be punched out if he were to call his girl a `bedpan' or `barge'! The animal world figures prominently in many Spanish idioms. If you want to be the life of the party, it is necessary ser el pato de la boda `to be the wedding duck.' There is Que mosca te ha picado? `What fly has bitten you?: What is eating you?' El gusano de la conciencia is `the worm of the conscience,' remorse. `To play the red owl' ( tocar el mochelo ) is to get the worst end of something. Aqu hay gato encerrado `There is a locked-up cat here'=`I smell a rat,' meter gato por liebre `to put a cat in the place of a hare'=`to be taken in,' and buscar tres pies al gato `to look for three feet on the cat'=`to look for trouble' are three feline phrases. Spanish cursing and swearing is inventive-- echar sapos y culebras literally, means `to throw out frogs and snakes.' Such behaviour usually ends up with having to pay the piper, that is, pagar los platos rotos `to pay for the broken plates.' Lest we forget, the class way to play hooky is hacer vaca , `to make a cow.' Picture una boca de agua `a water mouth'=`a fire hydrant,' A person with a closed head (` cerrado de cabeza ') is certainly narrow-minded. The title VERBATIM could well be translated as Al Pie de la Letra `to the foot of the letter'=`word for word'! Avoid una media cuchara `a half spoon,' for he is a mediocre person indeed. `Give a pumpkin' dar calabazas if you want to turn down an unsuitable suitor. Making decisions sometimes requires `sleeping on it,' that is, `conferring with one's pillow,' consultar con la almohada . Speaking of sleeping, in Spanish sleeping soundly is `to sleep like a loose leg' dormir a pierna suelta . You will be, likely to jump for joy ( dar zapatetas `to give shoe sole slaps') and go on a spree ( echar una cana al aire `to toss gray hair into the air') if you can go shopping `every other day' un da s y un da no at your `rich aunt's.' i.e. ta rica ([Am. Spanish] `rich aunt'=`pawn shop'). That is, unless one canta alto `sings high'=`asks too much.' Many phrases slip over the tongue like liquid velvet. There is a tontas y a locas `stupidly and crazily'=`helter-skelter' and the similar a troche y moche (or trochemoche) , meaning `in complete confusion.' Or sin ton no son `without tone or sound'=`without rhyme or reason.' Un runrn is `a rumor.' A popular alcoholic beverage, chicha , figures in the saying, Ne chicha ni limonada `neither fish nor fowl.' `Look high and low' andar de la Ceca a la Meca and `in every nook and cranny' de cabo a rabo =`from tip to tail.' Show your `guts', which in Spanish is el hgado =`the liver.' To give una dedada de miel `a pinch of honey,' or dar jabn (or enjabonar) literally `to give soap' or `to wash with soap' you can flatter someone or `soft-soap' him. If your word is no good, you `paint someone a violin' pintarle un violn . Empty, idle words are `white words' las palabras blancas ; I could just be `pulling your leg' tomar el pelo , literally, `to take the hair.' I can remember being greatly embarrassed once when I was trying to explain in Spanish about my being embarrassed, and how shocked my high school amigos were when I announced, they thought, that I was pregnant ( embarazada ). Incidentally, the last time we were in Guatemala we often heard the beautiful expression for `being pregnant,' tener gracia `to have grace' or `to be blessed.' My uncle recalled a time when in a Mexican restaurant he and his family had waited an overly long time for their order. He was astonished when his cry for service, Servesa! brought beer instead. Servesa certainly seemed a reasonable Spanish way of saying, I want service! but Cervesa ! will bring a brew every time. Friends die laughing--that is, they laugh a mandbula batiente `with their lower jaw beating'-- when we tell them of' the pleasures of living a short distance out of town. The Spanish speaker would say we live en los quintos infiernos `in the fifth hell.' And Cuban friends would say we live donde el diablo di los tres gritos `where the devil gave three hoots' or simply, `You live in the sticks' Vive en las quimbambas ! Well, `inside of a little' dentro de poco , actually, `of a slap' de sopentn , I mean, `in less than what sings a rooster' en menos de lo que un gallo , here it is time to stop. It would be such fun to discuss other things, but eso es harina de otro costal `That is flour from another sack!' A Wisconsin Supreme Court Dictionary To fit in with the change of events, words, too, had to change their usual meanings. Thucydides, The Peloponnesian War When the Wisconsin Supreme Court writes an opinion in which it does not interpret a statute, words have their usual meanings. However, when the court does interpret a statute, that change of events causes words to change their meanings. Therefore, writing a complete Wisconsin Supreme Court dictionary would be a useful, but daunting, project. The following entries are only part of such a dictionary, based on the court's statutory interpretation cases during the five-year period beginning in 1985. after After or before (Sheely v. DHSS, 150 Wis. 2d (1989)). any mortgage Any mortgage except one for future advances (Colonial Bank v. Marine Bank, N.A., 152 Wis. 2d 444 (1989)). any other The same but under extraordinary circumstances (State ex rel. M.L.B. v. D.G.H., 122 Wis. 2d 536 (1985)). any party Any party that has not presented its views (Carkel, Inc. v. Lincoln Cir. Ct., 141 Wis. 2d 257 (1987)). are May be (Burlington Northern v. Superior, 131 Wis. 2d 564 (1986)). comply Agree to (Ziegler Co., Inc. v. Rexnord, 147 Wis. 2d 308 (1988)). continuing financial interest Continuing financial interest and interdependence (Ziegler Co., Inc. v. Rexnord, Inc. 139 Wis. 2d 593 (1987)). custody Building (State v. Sugden, 143 Wis. 2d 728 (1988)). dam Dam except a cranberry dam (Tenpas v. DNR, 148 Wis. 2d 579 (1989)). defendant Possible defendant (Richards v. Young, 150 Wis. 2d 549 (1989)). destitute Having someone who has a duty to support one and who could provide for one's needs (State v. Cissell, 127 Wis. 2d 205 (1985)). entered Said to be entered (Matter of Estate of Ristow, 144 Wis. 2d 421 (1988)). equally In some fashion (In re Marriage of: Lutzke v. Lutzke, 122 Wis. 2d 24 (1985)). establish Establish or modify (State ex rel. Jeske v. Jeske, 144 Wis. 2d 364 (1988)). every witness Every adult witness (State v. Hanson, 149 Wis. 2d 474 (1989)). evident Possible (Spooner Dist. v. N.W. Educators, 136 Wis. 2d 263 (1987)). exclusive One of several (Henning v. General Motors Assembly, 143 Wis. 2d 1 (1988)). express Implied (Local Union No. 487 v. Eau Claire, 147 Wis. 2d 519 (1989)). extraneous Extraneous or personal (State V. Stewart, 143 Wis. 2d 28 (1988)). injury Notice of future harm (Les Moise, Inc. v. Rossignol Ski Co., Inc., 122 Wis. 2d 51 (1985)). judgement Judgement except a divorse judgement (Parrish v. Kenosha County Circuit Ct., 148 Wis. 2d 700 (1989)). may Shall in the case of disinterested attorneys (In Matter of Estate of Trotalli, 123 Wis. 2d 340 (1985)). no suit No suit except a contract suit (Energy Complexes v. Eau Claire County, 152 Wis. 2d 453 (1989)). obligations undertaken Obligations undertaken separately from rent (Univest Corp. v. General Split Corp., 148 Wis. 2d 29 (1989)). offer Seperate offer (DeMars v. LaOur, 123 Wis. 2d 366 (1985)). order Order except a bail forfeiture order (State v. Wickstrom, 134 Wis. 2d 158 (1986)). paid by Traceable to (Kremer Bros. v. Pulaski State Bank, 138 Wis. 2d 395 (1987)). parents, grandparents and great-grandparents Parents, grandparents, greatgrandparents and aunts (In re Custody of D.M.M., 137 Wis. 2d 375 (1987)). person Person or car (State v. Moretto, 144 Wis. 2d 171 (1988)). presence Control (State v. Fry, 131 Wis. 2d 153 (1986)). preserving order Punishing disorder (Contempt in State v. Dewerth, 139 Wis. 2d 544 (1987)). property Property except personal injury claims (Marriage of Richardson v. Richardson, 139 Wis. 2d 778 (1987)). property Personal property (Pulsfus Farms v. Town of Leeds, 149 Wis. 2d 797 (1989)). prosecuted Holds office (K.L. v. Hinickle, 144 Wis. 2d 102 (1988)). repealed Amended (In re Paternity of D.L.T., 137 Wis. 2d 57 (1987)). shall Shall unless there is a good reason not to (Employees Local 1901 v. Brown County, 146 Wis. 2d 728 (1988)). spouse Spouse except a murderer (Steinbarth v. Johannes, 144 Wis. 2d 159 (1988)). substantial Substantial and protected by law (Waste Management of Wisconsin v. DNR, 144 Wis. 2d 499 (1988)). to From (State v. Worgull, 128 Wis. 2d 1 (1986)). wire Wire except the wire part of a cordless telephone transmission (State v. Smith, 149 Wis. 2d 89 (1989)). with particularity Not at all (State v. Gomaz, 141 Wis. 2d 302 (1987)). Appellate judges differ significantly from other groups that generate material for their own specialized dictionaries. One difference is that other groups need to do so because in order to function they must either attach new meanings to existing words and phrases or coin new words and pharases. Most groups go too far, partly because the obscurity of their jargon sets them apart from others, thereby increasing their prestige. For example, although computer specialists properly coined byte to represent a new concept, they could have used the everyday expression turn off instead of inventing a new meaning for take down . In contrast, in virtually all the cases I read the judge who wrote the opinion did not have to invent a new meaning for a word or phrase; the relevant statute yielded a clear meaning that would have resolved the case. The judge who wrote the opinion, however, did not necessarily like that resolution. Judicial jargoan also differs from other jargoan in that the creators of the latter do so openly. They do not pretend that they are merely reading ordinary language as anyone else would read it. After they produce enough new meanings or newly defined terms they are likely to publish a dictionary. They expect the definitions in it to supplement, not to supplant secretly, the definitions that are in common use. Judges, however, claim merely to be interpreting words and phrases in statutes either in the same way that anyone else would or in a way that effectuates the legislature's intent. They never acknowledge that they are in effect writing their own dictionary in order to arrive at the results they favor. Therefore, they implicitly replace existing definitions, and, because in the future judges will accept as precedents the cases in which they do so, they truly do change the meanings of words and phrases. The most important difference between nonjudicial and judicial dictionary making is the magnitude of the adverse consequences. People who are not judges can do little harm beyond mildly degrading the language and annoying linguistic purists. In contrast, the statutory interpretation practices of judges threaten rights and property. In fact, they even threaten freedom; in a significant number of the cases I read the invention of meaning resulted in a criminal conviction. Also, because those practices make it nearly impossible to predict the outcome of a case, persons litigate even though the plain meaning of the relevant statute is not in their favor, and their attorneys run up huge bills looking for ways to induce judges to ignore the plain meaning of statutes. Those interpretive practices thus have enormous social and financial costs. They also have institutional costs because, to the extent that they subvert clear meaning that the legislature created, they usurp legislative authority and diminish the separation of powers, one of the bedrocks of our system of government. Despite these practices, judges are not evil persons. They are operating as judges have operated for a long time. They also reflect their legal education. If law schools recognized the importance of statutory law and advocated interpreting statutes only so as to reveal their plain meanings, they would have even less material to teach. Judges--who, in one sense, are merely lawyers in robes--when they are on the bench also continue the lawyerly practice of begining with a desired result and then working backwards to arguments that perhaps support it. Nevertheless, clandestine judicial dictionary making, in addition to its serious social and political consequences, has deleterious linguistic consequences. The first step in preventing those consequences is to realize that in courts words are losing their meanings. (The cyclist) hopes to survive the 2,020-mile race through the French countryside and mountains to ride down Paris' eloquent avenue, Champs Elyses. [From the Los Angeles Times , . Submitted by ] ... You have to see West Side Story in performance, preferably on stage, to fully appreciate the enormity of Bernstein's achievement. [From Saturday's Television and Radio, Peter Davalle, The Times , :24] Wandering around the transformed city of Bergen, Norway in search of old haunts, I felt like Gulliver waking from a long sleep. [From Going Home to/Retour Bergen, by Helga Loverseed, in Empress (C.P. Airlines magazine), :52. Submitted by ] A Menagerie of Words Metaphor, the literary process that makes a direct comparison of one thing to another, has a dual personality in word formation. Its facilitating role is to create a new word from an existing one owing to some similarity in their referents. Thus, kite was aptly made from Old English cta `hawk,' since a kit hovers in the air in the manner of a hawk. With the passing of time, however, metaphor also has a debilitating effect. Only an etymologist today would be expected to know of the kite/hawk kinship , and only he is able to see a kite in a spring sky and appreciate it as the hawk it once was. Since animals are so common, they are often used in metaphorically formed words. Some animals are named from a comparison to another animal. Aardvark was borrowed from Afrikaans aard `earth' plus vark `pig,' the similarity being the snouts. Alligator is from Spanish el lagarto `the lizard,' since the general configuration of both reptiles is horizontal. Chameleon originated as Greek chama ` on the ground' plus loacute;n ,' `lion,' from the shape of the animal's manelike head. Hippopotamus , from Greek, is a `horse that swims in a river.' Porcupine , from Latin, is a `pig with thorns.' The metaphor in canary is senseless, though, because the word is actually a misnomer. The French canarie designated the principal isle of the groups of islands. The word had come through Spanish Canaria , originating as Latin Canria Insula `Isle of the Dogs.' Early explorers on the islands found great numbers of large dogs there and named the archipelago after them, from the Latin canis `dog.' Later, there came to be a demand for the birds as pets. They were called canaries, and the dogs were soon forgotten. Original animal metaphors are all but obliterated in words that have no reference to animals. An asinine , human action is the one only an ass should commit, since ass `animal known for its stupidity' is based on Latin asinus `ass.' To play a bugle is to blow on the horn of a wild ox, through Old French bugle , from Latin bs `ox.' Butter hides the Greek bos `ox' plus t\?\rs `cheese.' A canard is a false story fabricated to deceive. The lost metaphor in canard is a duck, from a French expression vendre un canard moiti `to half-sell a duck.' To half-sell anything is not to sell it at all, but to make it seem as if it had been sold, that is, `to deceive.' From Greek knps `mosquito' the Romans formed conopium `couch with a net' (to keep mosquitoes away). The canopy used as an elegant covering over a modern bed, then, is a metaphoric net to keep the lowly mosquito at a distance. The ultimate origin of the word is an Egyptian town Canopus , evidently well known for the notorious insect. Caper is from Italian capriolo `male roe deer.' One who capers around is likened to leaping like a deer. A cavalier is tied to his steed through Latin caballus `horse.' Chenille was so called from its comparison to a hairy caterpillar, from the fabric's hairy texture. The ultimate origin of the word is Latin canis `dog.' The forgotten animal in columbine is a dove, from Latin columba . The flower of the plant resembles a cluster of five doves. The original cynics were Greek philosophers who made fun of wealth. Their name came from kn , a Greek word meaning `dog.' Most cynics actually lived barely better than dogs. The animal completing the metaphor in dandelion is a lion. It was the French who established the comparison in dent de lion `tooth of a lion,' from the tooth-shaped leaves of the plant. Easel was borrowed from Dutch ezel `ass.' The artist's easel supports his canvas in the manner an ass carries a traveler's belongings on his back. Gossamer is a collection of weblike material seen floating through the air in autumn. Gossamer was formed from early English gs `goose' plus summer `summer.' The reference is either to the similiarity of drifting goose feathers or to the time of year when geese begin to migrate. Latin ms `mouse' is the origin of muscle The association is due to some muscles' shapes being similar to that of a mouse. Also, the movement of a flexed muscle was thought to resemble the creeping of a mouse. The animal in hiding in pavilion is a butterfly, from Latin papilionem `butterfly.' Early pavilions were tents, which were shaped like the spread wings of the butterfly. Today's doctors' pavilion is far removed from a tent. Pedigree completes its metaphor with the Old French pied de grue `crane's foot,' the three-branched print of the foot of a crane being similar to the lines showing ancestry on a genealogical chart. Porcelain was borrowed from Italian porcelaine `cowrie shell,' from a similarity of the surfaces of each. The origin of the word, however, is Latin porcus `pig,' since the curve of the shell resembles the curve of a pig's body. Ukulele , from Hawaiian, is a metaphor from `uku `flea' plus lele `to jump.' Since ukuleles often provide music for dancing, the association might be from the dancers' flea-like movements, or there could be a connection with Edward Purvis, a British military officer who popularized the instrument in Hawaii. Metaphor, as can be seen in this menagerie of words, is ironic in that it is a great help in the creation of a word, but in a certain sense, it is also an accomplice in its death. Dear Sir: Having lived in Italy for some time, I believe I may be able to answer Barbara Bassett's letter regarding the color of Italian eggs [XVIII, 1]. She wondered why an art expert in the Sistine Chapel said that Michelangelo had used the red ( rosso ) of an egg in his preparation for the frescoes. Italians use almost exclusively brown-shelled eggs. These eggs are harder shelled and the yolk is really quite red or reddish-orange. American eggs look quite anemic next to Italian eggs. Another word for yolk is tuorlo , but rosso is more accurate if you want to describe the color. Speaking of eggs, why do we English speakers talk of the egg white when it is really clear until it is cooked or beaten? In Italian the albumen is albume or chiaro (`clear'). Rachel Perry cosmetics offer a natural alternative to skin care. [Subheadline of article in The Tab , Newton, Massachusetts, which prints in its masthead, The number beside each person's name is their extension. Submitted by ] Wine Vocabulary and Wine Description Drinking wine can be a lot of fun, and talking about the taste and aroma of the wine while drinking it can make it even more fun. My scientific interest in wine description grew out of watching people, mostly men, hold a glass of wine up to a candle, swish it around, sniff it, taste it, and utter some wonderfully poetic-sounding remark, such as, The burnt fruity nose a bit overpowers the buttery lushness of the finish. I was certainly impressed by the language, and I wondered first, what these words meant, and second, if I, too, could learn to talk that way. The first part of my study involved collecting and analyzing those descriptions used by wine writers and enologists to characterize wines. Although the vocabulary can be indefinitely expanded, I collected about 200 words that I found to be commonly used. (A list of the commonest appears at the end.) Some of these terms are straightforwardly descriptive, such as sweet, dry , or woody ; but much of the vocabulary combined both a descriptive and an evaluative element. If we consider body , for example, which corresponds to the amount of alcohol and dissolved solids in the wine, we find neutral words like light and heavy , but more evaluatively loaded words, like thin or coarse , meaning `too light' or `too heavy' respectively. Some of the wine descriptors are purely--or at least mostly--evaluative, such as great, noble , and elegant , or hollow and bland . Especially interesting are the descriptors that are taken over from very different semantic domains, such as words that describe personality and character: aggressive, charming, diffident, honest, feminine, masculine . How can these descriptions be meaningful? In order to understand how a wine can taste feminine or aggressive , we rely on intralinguistic associations. Since feminine is semantically related to words like sweet, perfumed, light , and delicate , which can be related to the smell, taste, and feel of wines in the mouth, we can understand how a wine might be described as feminine . The next phase of my study was designed to determine how descriptive language is applied to wines. Three groups of wine drinkers served as subjects for a variety of experiments. The first group consisted of nonexperts from different parts of the United States who had never drunk or discussed wine with each other. At each of the five sessions, subjects were given three perceptibly different red wines or three different white wines, typically from different countries and from different varietals (wines made primarily from a single grape variety), and subjects were asked to describe each of the wines. Though subjects sometimes protested that they did not know any wine terms, once they got going they often wrote lengthy descriptions. As a related task I gave them a list of 145 wine descriptors, collected from the first phase of my study, and asked them to circle all the words they considered appropriate for each wine. Results showed not only that the descriptions were different, but that they were inconsistent. One particular wine was described as sweet, a bubbly, flowery, light fizzy feeling in the mouth by one subject, quite dry, quite tangy by another, and harsh odor, pungent, unpleasant, bitter, sharp by a third. Two observations on the vocabulary may explain part of the problem. First, because people prefer some wines to others and because many of the words are value-laden, subjects who like a wine used terms to describe it that differed from the words of those who did not like it: a subject who liked a light wine would not select a negative term like thin . Second, most of the terms involve a reference to some implicit scale: wines may be termed light or heavy , sweet or dry with respect to all other wines, to wines of that class (red or white), or to wines of that varietal. Each subject was making an implicit comparison, but the reference was never made explicit. Furthermore, people who are used to relatively heavy wines, Chianti, for example, might find Beaujolais light, whereas people used to light wines, such as Austrian reds, might judge that same Beaujolais to be heavy. Another set of experiments used a matching paradigm. A pair of subjects was given the same three perceptibly different wines. One subject had to describe and differentiate them so that his partner could identify them on the basis of the descriptions. Overall, the success level for correct matches was no better than chance. Subjects in the second group, also nonexperts, met every two weeks over a period of eight months to taste and talk about wine. Tasks similar to those previously described were performed, but the goal with this group was to see whether they would develop a consensual vocabulary and come to understand what the others meant by the words they used. Records on consensus were taken at the beginning and end of the eight-month study. Subjects did not do much better on the matching task at the end than at the beginning, showing that no group consensus emerged; yet they reported that they felt subjectively that they communicated better. They learned which of the others shared their own preferences and whose judgement they could trust. Moreover, the words they used changed with experience: when it became clear that earthy was used in very different ways by different people, its use dropped significantly. The third group consisted of wine scientists-- graduate students and winery staff at the University of California at Davis Department of Viticulture and Enology. Among this group there was greater agreement in wine descriptors--but only with California wines, that is, those wines with which the subjects had the most experience. On the wines from Portugal, Australia, or France, their agreement was no better than that of the nonexperts. This shows that training and experience contribute to consensual use of language but do not automatically generalize to the descriptions of unfamiliar wines. The reason is that experts first identify the wine and then judge it according to the relevant norms for that type: if the wine is unfamiliar, they lack the relevant standards for judging. If the use of language by most people who describe wine is so subjective and idiosyncratic, should they drink silently? Not necessarily. Much of the time people describe wines as they are drinking them, and there is no need to pick out a particular wine. Talking about a wine, I believe, enhances the experience by allowing one wine drinker to point out characteristics that another might miss. Suppose that one person says something like, Can you taste that chalkiness on the back of the tongue? This directs the other tasters to notice something they might not have observed. It would not necessarily matter if wine experts or wine scientists would deny that the wine had any chalkiness and that what was noticed was something completely different. Much of our conversation, especially in informal settings, is not so much to provide information about the external world as to form social bonds. Communicating about a personal experience, for example, how a wine tastes, is such an activity. And if a wine-tasting experience can be enhanced as a results of a description, it does not matter whether or not that description is either conventional or accurate. When it is necessary to be precise and construct a publicly shared language with clear referents, people can do so. Wine scientists, for example, are seriously concerned with such goals and have addressed the problem, even if they have not yet completely solved it. In between are the wine writers who want to communicate about their experiences and preferences and make good recommendations. I suggest that readers try a few recommended wines to see if their tastes and word use are in accord with those of a particular writer. If so, they can continue to trust those judgments; if not, they should follow another's recommendations. For those who would like a list of the wine descriptors, following are the more common terms used with subjects in the experiments. acidic balanced clean aged big cloying alcoholic bitter common aromatic bland complex astringent bouquet corky austere chalky creamy baked character crisp deep lively sensuous delicate maderized sharp developed manly simple disciplined mature small dry meager smoky earthy mealy smooth elegant medium soft empty mellow solid evolved metallic sound fat mineral sour feminine moldy spicy fierce mossy steely fiery musky stiff fine noble stony finesse nutty strong firm oaky sturdy flabby odd stylish flat off succulent flowery old sugary forceful ordinary supple foxy overripe sweet fragile peppery syrupy fragrant perfumed tangy fresh positive tannic fruity powerful tart full-bodied prickly tender gassy pungent thin gay racy unbalanced gentle rare unharmonious graceful refreshing unripe grapy rich velvety hard ripe vigorous harmonious robust watery harsh rough weak hearty round wild heavy rugged withered honest salty woody hot sappy young insipid savory zestful light scented little semisweet Colonial American EnglishSupplement [As many VERBATIM readers have had the pleasure of discovering, Colonial American English , by Richard M. Lederer, Jr. (VERBATIM, 1985), contains a fascinating collection of words and phrases characteristic of the English used in the Colonies (and later) during the period from 1608 till 1783. Mr. Lederer's unflagging interest in early American culture, his voracious reading of the books, papers, and documents of the time, and his penchant for collecting Americanisms and turning some useful, entertaining, and interesting comments about them have continued unabated. The following consists of two lists, the first a supplementary glossary to that published in Colonial American English; the second a list of words and phrases he has uncovered but which, owing to lack of context or paraphrase, he has been unable to define. Help and comments are welcome. All correspondence will be passed on to Mr. Lederer; as befits the material received, we may hijack some for our EPISTOLAE columns. Colonial American English is available through bookstores at $24.95 or directly from VERBATIM at $24.95 (postpaid) or, for subscribers, at $20.00 (postpaid). --Editor.] alamode ( v .) Beef larded and stewed or braised with spices and vegetables. Amelia Simmons' American Cookery in 1796 had a recipe To alamode a round of Beef. Anoquodor ( adj .) Abbreviation for anno quo domini. Town records for Mamaroneck, N.Y., report that something was All done April ye 2nd 1698 Anoquodor. attainder ( n .) The legal consequence of judgment of death or outlawry pronounced in respect to treason or felony. Thomas Jones' History of New York during The Revolutionary War states that The Act of Attainder... was passed on the 22nd of October 1779. bantling ( n .) An infant, from bandling, a child in swaddling clothes. Jones asserted that The peace was the bantling of Lord Rockingham... barrack ( n .) Four poles with a movable roof to protect hay. The Commissioners laid out the Albany Post Road across Robert Williams clear Land on the West Side where his Barrak now stands. bilge ( n .) A variant of bulge . Simmon's American Cookery tells us, Eggs put them into water, if they lye on their bilge, they are good and fresh. bomb ( n .) A small warship equipped with mortars for throwing bombs. Jones described: [T]he fleet arrived. It consisted of two 50 gun ships, 4 frigates of 28 guns, one of 20, an armed vessel of 22, a sloop of war, an armed schooner and a bomb. burletta ( n .) An Italian diminutive of burla , a `mockery,' a `musical farce.' Jones wrote The particulars of this burletta are contained in the following letter from an officer on the spot, to his friend in England dated at Philadelphia, the 20th of May 1778. buttermilk ( n .) Butterfly milkweed or pleurisy root, a diaphoretic or expectorant. Charles Wolley in A Two Year Journal of New York 1678-1680 recorded that Both Indians and Dutch... very often picked buttermilk. caress ( v .) To treat with fondness, affection or kindness. Jones, referring to Sir William Johnson, commented, He was loved, caressed, and almost adored by the Indians. cattle ( n .) All livestock including horses, not limited to cows. A 1797 New York State law provided That all freeholders... shall be assessed to work on the public roads... with such implements, carriages, cattle and sleds. cibola ( n .) From Zui, `buffalo.' E.B. O'Callaghan records a license to Sieur de la Salle: We have granted, as a privilege, the trade in cibola skins. Crown Soap Soap stamped with a crown as a sign of quality. In a 1757 letter Benjamin Franklin wrote, I am glad Peter is acquainted with the Crown Soap business. dogger ( n .) A Dutch fishing vessel used in the cod and herring fisheries. d. vi m. The sixth, vi, month, m., (August) of the Julian calendar. Cotton Mather's diary for August 1721 has an entry that starts, d. vi m. Friday. elisor ( n .) A sheriff's substitute in performing the duty of returning a jury, used when the sheriff is interested in the suit. In 1764 The Supreme Court of Judicature in New York City recorded that Jacobus Bleeker, Esq. of New Rochelle and Jonathan Brown, Gent. of Rye were appointed elisors to return a jury. emptins ( n .) Collloquial shortening of emptyings , a preparation of yeast from the lees of beer, cider, etc., for leavening. Simmons American Cookery tells us to use a quart of emptins when making plain cake. enlarge ( v .) To set at large, to set free. Jones reported that Gouveneur and Seton were enlarged [from the Tower of London] without either bail or mainprize. fanfaron ( n .) A bully, a swaggerer, an empty boaster. From Italian fanfarone a `boaster.' Jones quotes Walpole as saying, The French have tied up the hands of an excellent fanfaron, a Major Washington, whom they took and engaged to serve for a year. flock bed A bed stuffed with locks of wool or hair. A 1648 inventory of the estate of William Southmead of Gloucester, Mass. included one flock bedd and pillers. Fuyck ( n .) A fish trap, a fyke. O'Callaghan records this as the first name for Albany, N.Y. garble ( v .) To sort out parts of for a purpose, especially a sinister purpose. A March 1700 document states, After the dissolution of this Assembly His Lordship [Bellomont]... garbled the Council. gurnet ( n .) The sandbar protecting Plymouth, Mass., harbor, named for its resemblance to a fish, the gurnet. In 1776 The Massachusetts House of Representatives appropriated money for repair to the gurnet at the entrance to Plymouth harbor. In 1630 John Winthrop was in a shallop to Plymouth... and about the Gurnet's nose the wind blew. halbert ( n .) A variant of halberd , the military weapon. Jones reported, and sentenced to receive 300 lashes at the halberts, from the drummers of the army. The culprit was apparently tied to the poles. Hannah Hill Sea bass. A recipe in American Cookery reads, Every species generally of salt water Fish, are best fresh from the water, tho' the Hannah Hill, Black Fish... hobby horse A hobby, a chosen occupation, alluding to the riding of a toy horse. Jones referring to Isaac Sears, said, His tune is for mobbing; committees and popular meetings are his delight, his greatest pleasure, his hobby-horse. Independent ( n .) A member of an independent church; a Congregationalist. Jones stated, These letters were said to have come from Quaker congregations, and were written in their style; from Presbyterian Meetings, from Congregationalists, from Anabaptists, Moravians, Seceders, Independents and Separatists. Italian method of bookkeeping Double-entry bookkeeping, originated in 1494 by Luca Pacioli in Italy. An advertisement in Rivington's New York Gazette on October 6, 1774, wanted a young man acquainted with keeping books in the Italian method, and another was from one who, wants a place... understands Italian bookkeeping. Perhaps they got together. leveler ( n .) One who tries to bring men to a common level or who disregards differences of rank or station. In 1745 Governor Clinton wrote to the Board of Trade, That as they [the New York Assembly] are jealous of the power of the Crown, and are Levellers by principle, nothing but an independent Govr. could bring them to a joint sence of their duty. Lex Talionis The law of retaliation, providing that the punishment should be in the same kind as the crime: an eye for an eye. Jones wrote, The Lex Talionis, in all civil wars is, perhaps, though cruel, yet legal, and upon many occasion, perfectly justifiable. mango ( n .) A small, green, pickled musk melon. Simmons' American Cookery included a recipe to pickle or make Mangoes of Melons. mischianza ( n .) A medley, a performance with many different parts. From the Italian, a `mixture.' Charles Stedman's History of the American War described, It is to the famous Mischianza that we allude, or festival given in honor of sir William Howe, by some of the British officers at Philadelphia, when he was about to give up his command to return to England. peperage ( n .) A variant of pepperidge , the black or sour gum tree. In 1774 the road commissioners for North Castle, N.Y. then laid out a Two Rod wide road... beginning at a Certain Peperage Sapling. petticoat ( n .) Used symbolically to represent the female sex. In 1756 Sir William Johnson wrote to the Lords of Trade, I concluded this treaty by taking off the Petticoat, or that invidious name of Women, from the Delaware Nation which hath been imposed upon them by the Six Nations from the time they conquored them. polenia linen White or brown narrow cloth from High Dutchland. A 1700 bill for a shipment from New York to Holland read, 2G. polenia linnen at 15 p b. prebend ( n .) A daily stipend or allowance. Albert Joachimi wrote to the States General in 1638, ... a Divine, who hath a good probend, and visits the houses of the aristocracy, had intruded into the chamber at Westminister where the Judges sat... Prince's metal A copper-brass or copper-arsenic alloy resembling brass. O'Callaghan reported that Prince Rupert [d. 1682] ...invented the Mezzo-tinto style of engraving and the composition called the Prince's metal. pupton ( n .) A variant of pulpatoon , a rabbit or fowl stew like a pot pie. From Spanish pulpeton , a slice of stuffed meat. Martha Bradley's cookbook gives a recipe. radicate ( v .) To take root, to plant firmly. Francis Lovelace in 1673 wrote to Governor Winthrop, It will be necessary to forme a militia, for if it should miscarry they must not radicate longer. Scars of Venus A rash produced by secondary syphilis. In Thomas D'Urfey's song Great Lord Frog to Lady Mouse appears, Then altho my Bum be bare,/All must own 'tis smooth and fair;/I've no Scars of Venus there. schism shop A place of worship other than a Church of England church. The Schism Act, passed in 1714 and repealed in 1719, required all teachers to conform to the Anglican church. Jones wrote that Charles Lee was so much vexed with rebellion, with Republicans and Presbyterians, that by his will he ordered his body not to be buried within three miles of a Presbyterian meeting house, conventicle, or a schism shop. scrub ( n .) A small, mean person. Philip Ranlet recorded that in 1770 A Philadelphian declared that `the New Yorkers have acted like scrubs, and deserve to be tarred and feathered.' Seceder ( n .) Around 1758 a member of the Secession church. See quotation at Independent. Separatist ( n .) One separated from the Church of England. See quotation at Independent. shambles ( n .) A butcher's stall and table where meat is displayed. Jones described ... and yet his shambles were every day as well, if not better, supplied than any other butcher in the neighbourhood. ship money A port tax levied in England to pay for national defense. In 1638 Mr. Joachim wrote the States General, that a certain judge had distinctly advised that, under present circumstances, the ship money may not be levied off the inhabitants of England, without consent of Parliament. slipe ( n .) A slice. In 1773 the road commissioners for the Town of Harrison, N.Y., laid out a road, along said Merrits land to a Black Oak Stadel marked with a Slipe and three hacks with an axe. slop shop A shop where slops were sold. See C.A.E. Jones wrote that, by these means and a share of his prizes, having acquired a small estate, he [Alexander McDougal] quitted the sea and settled in New York, where he kept what is known among sailors by the name of a `slop-shop.' sojourner ( n .) A temporary resident. In 1695 the Colony of New York taxed Sojourners by the head 24 sh. snout ( v .) To cut the nostrils of a pig to weaken the snout. In 1788 the Scarsdale Town Board passed a law providing, that if any Hogs trespass not being Ringed or Snouted and yoked that it shall be lawful to drive them to Pound. stage ( n .) The distance on a highway between two stopping places. The New York Gazette in 1731 advertised, The Boston & Philadelphia Posts will set out to perform their Stages once a fortnight. stive ( v .) To crowd together, to stuff, cram. From Latin stipare `to crowd together.' In American Cookery we are told, and then pour it upon your cucumbers and stive them down for twenty four hours. tapper ( n .) One who taps or draws liquor; specifically an innkeeper. In 1773 the New York Executive Council treated with The Matter of Difference between ye two Tappers at Schanechtide. till ( prep .) The forerunner of until . From Saxon tille to reach or come to the time of. The 1728 New York Governor's Council recorded that, the Yearly Quitrent... has been paid till the 25th of March. toft ( n .) A cleared space. In 1728 the New York Governor's Council recorded that, Coll Dongan did demise... a toft of ground. wind fan A fan for winnowing grain. In the 1800 inventory of James Varian's estate in Scarsdale, N.Y., his Wind Fan was valued at 7 pounds. Definitions Unknown Albany board - On August 16, 1780, Gen. Benedict Arnold, commanding West Point, wrote to Timothy Pickering, Quartermaster General, regarding materials then needed at the fort. Ten thousand Albany Board, to least, will be wanted. ales master - In 1757 John Wollman, regarding slavery, wrote, I ought not to be the scribe where wills are drawn in which some children are made ales masters over others during life. bed's head - In 1711 William Byrd was a delegate to the House of Burgesses of Virginia. One evening he visited the Governor 'til he went to bed about 11 o'clock, then we went to Maj. Harrisons to supper again, but the Governor ordered the sentry to keep us out and in revenge about 2 o'clock in the morning we danced a g-n-t-r dance just at the bed's head. breeth - Charles Wolley in A Two Year's Journal in New York wrote, Were I to draw their Effigies [beasts and birds] it should be after the pattern of the Ancient Britains, called Picts from painting, and Britains from a word of their own language, Breeth, Painting or Staining. burning coals - William Byrd recorded in his diary for 1707, Then we went to play called burning coals at which we ran much and were very merry. caminute - In 1784 one I. Tiffany wrote to a storekeeper in Crompond, N.Y., By some unaccountable mistake neglect or some other devilish affair the caminute was not left as it ought to have been at New York. caul - American Cookery , page 17. Roast Mutton. If a breast let it be cauled, if a leg, stuffed or not, let it be done more gently than beef. Clark distemper - Justin Foote, a storekeeper in Crompond, N.Y., in 1784 wrote, I am a little touched with the Clark distemper. clover mill - In a history of Emmitbury, Md., James Hellman wrote, The Hartman mill was built by Dr. Robert Annan [1765-1827] for a clover mill afterwards converted into a grist. Curse John - In 1774 Philip Fithian was reminiscing in his diary about his undergraduate days at Princeton when they often practised mischief by parading bad women and burning Curse John. Rev. John Witherspoon was president of the college 1768-1794. disteress - A character in Robert Mumford's play, The Candidate , refers to a very disteress motive. ferret - Jones, describing Howe's mischianza [q.v.] wrote, A grand regatta began the procession. In the first, was the Ferret galley with several general officers and a number of ladies. gropish - Boston merchant John Rowe's diary for the 1760s refers to Old fogrums only persue a gropish disposition. Indian Cabinet - In his London Diary, William Byrd wrote We played at stock jobbing. For the Indian Cabinet I gave B.B. the chance of one card and H.L. the chance of the other, but neither won. mole - The Boston Independent Journal in 1776 advertised 8 thousand gallons of Mole molasses. moschetto - In 1701 John Randolph wrote, Mr. Archdale provided for him a moschetto engine against his master's will to catch fish. Moschetto is listed in the OED as a variant spelling of mosquito . One meaning of mosquito is `light and quick,' as a mosquito fleet . Is this just a lightweight fish trap? Mount - John Rowe recorded in his diary for 1760, Clearing sugar from the Mount... They are all called in from molesting the Mount Trade. nihil account - In 1776 William Eddis was a customs collector paid by the British government and his loyalty was suspect by the local Committee of Observation. He wrote to them, We are not entitled to our salaries without a nihil account transmitted quarterly for our proceedings. Norris's Drops - On November 22, 1772, George Washington bought two bottles of Norris's Drops for Miss Custis. Norris's Antimonial Drops were widely advertised in Virginia newspapers, but their content is unknown. pluck money - N.Y. Executive Council Minutes 12/5/1670: Upon mature Consideracon had hereupon, Mr. Sharp having confest his Error, It was Ordered, that hee pay back to Mr. Nicholas Bayard all the Pluck-Money delivered out at the Sale. Priory sheep - Mr. H.H. Gardner wrote in a 1775 letter, I have often wished for a good flock of Priory sheep. set her up - William Byrd, in his London Diary recorded, After dinner we gave a girl half a Guinea each to set her up. I can guess what they did, but cannot find confirmation. single stockings - John Harrower recorded in his diary, I think no more of seeing forty or fifty Nigers every day than I did of seeing so many dabling wives at Johnsmiss with single stockings. The OED defines them as stockings of one thickness, unlined. All citations are 1552 or earlier. Why would Harrower be concerned with the thickness of stockings? spark - John Rowe recorded in his diary, I hope that spark may yet in some part... be obliged to do me justice. spunge - American Cookery, p. 38: RUSK - To make... One pint milk, 1 pint emptins, to be laid over night in Spunge. stock jobbing - See Indian Cabinet , above. trustings - A Connecticut law of 1676 regulating the cost of provisions provided, Trustings and trifles under a shilling being left to each man's agreement. turf boat - O'Callaghan, Vol I, pg 532, foot note: Adriaen van der Donck, a free citizen of Breda... a descendant of Adriaen van Bergen, part owner of the famous turf boat in which a party of Dutch troops were clandestinely introduced in the year 1599 into the castle of that city. wait - A 1730 deed from Thomas Hadden of Scarsdale, N.Y. to John ffisher a certain small wait or parcel of Land lying and being situate in the Mannor of ScarsDale aforesaid. whip over the ground - A character in Robert Mumford's 1770 play, The Candidate , observed, You are determined to whip over the ground. Dictionary of English Personal Names When it comes to teaching materials for their English students, the Russians are nothing if not thorough. Here now, amid the standard course-books and grammars, is a specialist dictionary of English personal names, or as we would probably prefer to call them, first names. The modest paperback can be regarded as a complementary volume to the author's earlier work, A Dictionary of English Surnames, published in 1986. It contains some 4,000 first names, and as well as the main body of the dictionary has a brief preface, a short section on the history of English first names, a bibliography, and a separate listing of some 1,000 derivatives or pet names, with cross references to their full form. Inevitably, one compares the main entries with those in similar recent works, such as Leslie Dunkling and William Gosling's Everyman's Dictionary of First Names (1983) and Patrick Hanks and Flavia Hodges' A Dictionary of First Names (1990). The content and treatment fall somewhere between the two, although the style is noticeably more succinct and less discursive. Where Rybakin scores over the other two works is in the provision of pronunciations and, for a main or source name, a selection of literary characters who bear it. In the latter respect it differs from Dunkling and Gosling, who go more for real-life bearers, especially stage and screen celebrities, and from Hanks and Hodges, whose representation of historic bearers is rather restricted. When a name is biblical and of Hebrew origin, too, Rybakin boldly goes where few lexicographers have gone before and gives the actual Hebrew (albeit in Roman transliteration). A typical Rybakin main name entry has seven items of information following the headword that is the name itself: pronunciation (in IPA), gender, Russian form (both traditional and modern), language(s) of origin, ultimate literal meaning, examples of literary bearers, and derivatives. Equivalents in other languages sometimes serve as an eighth item. So here he is, for example (in English translation, and with abbreviations spelled out), on Susan : SUSAN ['su:zn], feminine, Suzan, earlier Suzan, from French Susanne, Suzanne, from Late Latin Susanna, from Greek Sousanna, from Hebrew shshannh, `lily', see SUSANNA, SUSANNAH. SUSAN IS CHARACTER IN THOMAS HEYWOOD'S PLAY A Woman Killed with Kindness (1607). Susan Pearson is character in Charlotte Bront's novel Shirley (1849). Derivatives: SUE, SUEY, SUKE, SUKEY, SUKIE, SUKY, SUSIE, SUSY, SUZY. An entry like this has its good and bad points. It is good to have the name traced back through the different languages to its Hebrew original; but the inclusion of just two literary Susans (out of what must be hundreds) tells us little, except perhaps that the name was already in general English use in the early 17th century. (As their role models Dunkling and Gosling prefer the popular actresses Susan Hayward, Susan Hampshire, and Susan Strasberg, while Hanks and Hodges instance no individual Susan at all, literary or otherwise.) Rybakin's range of names is comprehensive. As well as all the expected first names, old and new, that appear in dictionaries of this type, he includes names that are more familiar from the Bible and literature than everyday life, so that his letter G , for instance, takes in Galahad and Ganymede and his letter P Pliny and Psyche , none of which appears in the other two books. But even if almost no one is now (or ever) called by these names, it is excellent to have a book that gives their origins, if only for purely academic interest. Rybakin's etymologies are mostly quite sound and accord with current scholarship. However, he proposes a source in Latin ancillus , `servant' for Lancelot , which like most names in the Arthurian cycle is almost certainly of Celtic origin. He also offers the hoary old `bitterness' or `rebelliousness' for Mary , whereas it is now thought that the name derives from the Hebrew root element MRH meaning literally `to be plump,' so in a transferred sense `strong,' `beautiful.' In a bare six and a half pages Rybakin takes us on a crash course in the history of English first names, from Anglo-Saxon thelbeald to the titlederived names of modern times such as Duke and Earl . He rightly devotes part of his survey to a consideration of surnames as first names, although in his main entries names of this type such as Bradley, Chester, Clifford, and Seymour are simply explained as deriving `from the surname.' Dunkling and Gosling and Hanks and Hodges, on the other hand, take such names back to their own origin, often in a place-name. But maybe Rybakin felt that thus far is far enough, and that for surname origins the reader is best advised to consult a different dictionary, such as his own. Armed with both his books and, of course, a knowledge of Russian, one has a guide to English personal names that would be a useful addition to anyone's reference shelves. Adrian Room Stamford, Lincolnshire The Multilingual PC Directory This descriptive catalogue lists about 300 multilingual and foreign language products for IBM PCs and compatibles, supporting as many languages, which are available in over 70 countries from over 1000 manufacturers, publishers, and affiliates. It includes product profiles, describing the main features and noteworthy multilingual or foreign language capabilities, computer and software requirements, languages supported, any known reviews, and price information in local currency (but with currency conversion), detailed costs of shipping and technical support as well as credit card and other charges. The company profiles section gives the addresses, telephone, facsimile, and telex numbers of all manufacturers and publishers, with their international affiliates and dealers. More than thirty different types of products are described, including word processors, desktop publishing, fonts, translation packages, spelling checkers, and their applications. In some cases, an accompanying illustration displays the alphabets available; for example, the Alaph [ sic ] Beth Font Kit includes Aramaic (Fourth, Sixth, Eighth, and Ninth century fonts), Assyrian/Babylonian, Coptic, Cuneiform (Ras Shamra and Ugaritic), Hieroglyphics (+850), North Semitic, Phoenician, Saban, and Syriac (Estrangelo, Serto, and Eastern scripts). It is described as designed to work with Multi-Lingual Scholar from Gamma Productions. Each font comes with different sizes ranging from 9 to 20 points, and styles may include normal (roman), italic, inverse, and outline. The listed price for this package is $195 for a dot matrix printer, $345 for a laser printer. In the Language Reference section one can find, in convenient tabular form, a listing of scores of languages, where they are (or were) used, the script employed, and useful notes indicating, for example, that the Anglo-Saxon of Ancient England used the Latin script plus \?\ (edh), \?\ (thorn), and (ash or sc). Also shown are the ASCII, Roman-8, ECMA-94 Latin 1, and ECMA-94 Latin 2 symbol sets. There is a useful glossary of computer and typographic terms and a detailed Index with more than 10,000 entries. Other serendipitous singularities can be found, like Publishing Details, which describes the methods used in producing the book. The author/compiler, Ian Tresman, M.Sc., University of Manchester 1983, designed and copublished a utility program called WYSIWYG in 1986 and, as Technical Manager at Intex Systems (UK), was responsible for the Intext Multilingual Wordprocessor. Tresman would appear to be among the few computer experts capable of organizing his thoughts and writing in standard English. Anyone who has fumingly, frustratedly tolerated the confusions, inaccuracies, incompletenesses, illiteracies, and genera; inabilities of manual-writers to describe the accompanying programs will be relieved and delighted to encounter the simple, straightforward presentation of information in this book, which is an essential for any individual, company, or educational institution that has occasion to deal with foreign languages and their alphabets. Laurence Urdang [Note: In the US, the Directory is available from Knowledge Computing, P.O.Box 3068, Stamford, CT 06902 (Fax: (203) 975-7317): $34.95 + shipping (US/UK $5; Europe $7; World $14). In the UK, it is available from Knowledge Computing, 9 Ashdown Drive, Borehamwood, Herts. WD6 4LZ/UK: 19.95 + shipping (UK 3; Europe 4; elsewhere 8). Payment may be made by credit card, banker's draft (on US or UK bank), or international money order on a US or UK bank in US dollars or sterling.] The Oxford Dictionary of New Words Neologisms It is always interesting to see the publication of two competing books on the same subject appear at the same time, for the reviewer is thereby given the opportunity to compare and/or contrast them. These two, as can be seen from the bibliographic information above, are almost exactly the same length, and their trim sizes are identical; the typography of the ODNW is superior as is the binding, Neologisms , though higher priced, being perfectbound, like a paperback, and characterized by atrocious typography. According to the blurbs, the former contains 2000 entries, the latter 2700; but the ODNW is more densely packed with information-- at least thirty per cent more, by my calculations. More, as we all know, is not necessarily better. There is some overlapping of entries, but the books offer somewhat different kinds of coverage. In the first place, with all the new dictionaries published since 1960 and the updatings and revisions of existing works that continue to appear, both in the US and the UK, it is difficult to see why Green chose to go back to 1960 as a point of departure, unless one takes into account the publication of the Barnhart Dictionary of New English Since 1963 (1973) and its second edition (1980) and assumes that this book was intended to compete with them; certainly, Neologisms hasn't patch on Barnhart's books. The Oxford work, however, gives a great deal of useful information, largely, I imagine, because Oxford's citation files are probably more extensive than Green's. It is instructive to compare the treatment of an entry from each book: Neologisms high five n. [1966] ritual palm slapping, originated by US blacks and now popular among a wide range of individuals, especially sportsmen who raise their hands and slap palms together to celebrate a victory or on-field success. `West Germany: Voller and Klinsman make with the high fives in Milan.' (Independent on Sunday, 17 June 1990) Oxford New Words high-five noun and verb In US slang. noun: A celebratory gesture (originally used in basketball and baseball) in which two people slap their right hands together high over their heads; often in the phrase to lay down or slap high-fives. Hence also figuratively: celebration, jubilation. intransitive verb: To lay down high-fives in celebration of something or as a greeting to celebrate. Formed by compounding: a five (that is, a hand-slap; compare British slang bunch of fives for a hand or fist) that is performed high over the head. The high-five was originally a gesture developed for use in basketball, where it first appeared among the University of Louisville team in the 1979-80 season; Louisville player Derek Smith claims to have coined the name. By 1980 it was also being used widely in baseball, especially to welcome a player to the plate after a home run (and in this respect is similar to the hugs and other celebratory gestures used by British football players). Television exposure soon made it a fashionable gesture among young people generally; what ensured its eventual importation to the UK was its adoption by the Teenage Mutant Turtles (in the form high-three, since Turtles do not have fingers) as a jubilant greeting. All that touched off a wild celebration of hugs, high-fives and champagne spraying. USA Today 14 Oct. 1987, p. 1 A month has passed since the election and still Republicans and Democrats are high-fiving. Maclean's 2 Apr. 1990, p. 11 So with a flying leap and a double high-five the two teammates celebrated the start of a new season. Sports Illustrated Dec. 1990,p. 16 The differences in length and fullness are obvious. The stated purpose of the ODNW , as set forth in the Preface, is to provide an informative and readable guide to about two thousand high-profile words and phrases which have been in the news during the past decade. Green, on the other hand, describes a different purpose in his Introduction, to wit: to encompass as wide as pertinent a range of vocabulary, the sole proviso being that the word or usage has entered the language in the last thirty years.... The basic qualification for inclusion has been that the language in question has entered the mainstream. Thus, Green cannot be faulted for offering more succinct entries, especially when the further comment in ODNW indicates a difference in purpose: The best one can hope to do in a book of this kind is to take a snapshot of the words and senses which seem to characterize our age and which a reader in fifty or a hundred years' time might be unable to understand fully (even if these words were entered in standard dictionaries) without a more expansive explanation of their social, political, or cultural context. While neither editor deserves high fives for lucid exposition, the message is that different targets were being aimed at, and, unless one wishes to have both books, the choice between them may be thought to remain an open one. Still, I am nagged by inadequacies in Green's definition of high-five , which suggests that each individual might be simply clapping his hands together, and I am bothered by the ODNW's failure to note the date of entry into the language, saying that the earliest use of the term dates to 1979; I think that Green is right to hint at the fact that the gesture preceded its use in sport: my guess is that slap five arose among black teenagers or, perhaps, musicians as a form of greeting, approval, farewell, and the like and was later carried over into sports (perhaps, as the ODNW suggests, by Derek Smith), where it became high five . It seems unlikely that we shall ever know for sure. One question is raised by the statement in the ODNW: Why should contemporary users need or want information expressly prepared for readers fifty or a hundred years hence? The question is, of course, specious: the book is available now, for all to see, and if one does not need or want the more replete version, the abridged style of Neologisms may well suffice. Personally, I like to see as much discussion of the meaning, sense development, and origin of a term as I can find, but one must sacrifice that to get a longer list of entries. Also, one will find jet set in Neologisms , because it was coined after 1960; but it is not in the ODNW because it was coined before 1980. Both list Filofax ( Neologisms holding that the trade mark was registered in 1941, the ODNW says the early thirties), and, as expected, the latter includes several subentries (e.g., Filofiction , which indicates not only the productivity of Filo - as a prefix but the metaphoricity of the element) and six citations; Neologisms , in its short entry and one citation, leaves the user to derive what he can about the metaphoric uses of the word. I have not taken the trouble to research the accuracy of the information given in these books, but I did note that grody (to the max) , which is not in Neologisms , is described in the ODNW as US teenagers' slang; while that might be technically correct, I have evidence that leads me to believe that it originated in the slang of Hawaiian teenagers, and while no American would dispute the nationality of Hawaiians, responsibility should be laid at the door of the real culprits. Laurence Urdang The Oxford Encyclopedic English Dictionary Reviewing dictionaries of this kind--those similar in content and purpose to what are called college or desk dictionaries in the US--is probably quite useless in providing guidance to potential purchasers: there is always the temptation to carp at omissions, cavil at what are seen as infelicities in defining and other information, and argue one's case against the theories that are reflected in the organization of the text. In the long run, however, dictionary reviews probably serve no function: in the face of the relatively overwhelming funds at the disposal of some publishers to promote their books, reviews fail to dissuade people from buying bad dictionaries; such a small percentage of the dictionary-buying public attend to reviews that their effect is slight even when favourable; finally, the value of a dictionary to an individual can be tested only over long use, which even the wisest reviewer cannot anticipate. I have found many things to criticize in the OEED , some of which are matters of accuracy and consistency and inclusion, others matters of taste and preference, all of which I feel it my duty to report. It is the proper function of a reviewer to question the reason behind the publication of a book, though, in the present case I believe it to be that Oxford University Press took a long, hard look at the revenues to be realized from a dictionary that could compete, in the UK market at least, with dictionaries of similar length published by Collins, Longman, Chambers, and others. And in the UK market a price of 16.95 might make sense. In the US market, a price of $27.95 (or $29.95) for a dictionary of about the same extent as the larger college dictionaries (by Random House, Simon & Schuster, and American Heritage), which sell for about $18, makes no sense at all, especially when the subject work falls short of the competition in a number of respects. The encyclopedic sizzle, packed into the back of the book, seems an (unfortunate) afterthought, imitative of a similarly constituted edition of the Collins English Dictionary , and quite sloppily put together at that. Many of the pages are not numbered, and a number of the callouts (labels, that is) on the illustrations are not even entered into the main text of the dictionary, to wit, number 8, fly-half, nose tackle, tight end, wide receiver, safety, linebacker, cornerback , to name a few. A note in Appendix 32 informs that In Rugby League there are no flankers, yet under flanker 3 the definition a flank forward is preceded by (in Rugby and American Football), flank forward is defined as Rugby Foot-ball a wing forward, and I was unable to find any entry for wing forward , on its own, under wing , or under forward . The difference in style make one wonder about the distinction, if any, between (in Rugby Football) and Rugby Football : the Guide in the front is of no help. There is a color map section at the end of the dictionary. (There are no illustrations in the text.) The encyclopedic character of the book, then, cannot be traced to the handful of listings and diagrams in the back matter--structure of the United Nations, genealogical table of British sovereigns, and other dull material easily found in other sources; it must lie in the text itself. Sure enough, in the entry for Rugby we find out why the football has its present oval shape (because they originally used a pig's bladder, which, as we all know, is footballshaped). Getting into the dictionary itself, one becomes aware that something is a foot, for there are not as many headwords as one might expect to find in other books of this size. The reason is that OUP have cleaved to their favourite structural approach to the listing of compounds, phrases, and hyphenated words by nesting them beneath the main word. I have never been a devotee of that approach, not on philosophical grounds but on grounds of convenience to the user. In the OUP system, chain-armour, chain bridge, chain drive, chain-gang, chain-gear, chain-letter, chain-link, chain-mail, chain reaction, chain-saw, chain-smoker, chain-stitch, chain store, chain-wale , and chain-wheel are all entered as subentries under chain. The most naive speaker of English realizes, without going into the details of their syntactosemantic relationships, that chain-armour and chainmail do not bear the same relationship to chain as chain-gang, chain-letter , and chain-stitch , that the chain in chain reaction is different from that in chain store (not `a store where one buys chains') and in chain-smoker (not `a person who smokes chains'), and that while chain drive and chain-saw are related because both are driven by chains, the use of chain in chain-link and chain-mail is semantically misleading, for the chief characteristic of a chain is its one-dimensionality while chain-link and chain-mail are, of course, two-dimensional--creating what might be considered a bent metaphor. To me the placement of chain-armour under chain strongly implies the meaning `armour made of parts linked together as in a chain'; but that is certainly not the case, as the definition at once makes clear. In other words, chains are characterized by sequential, linear linking, in which the parts or interlocked end to end, clearly not the case in chain-armour or chain-link (for instance). However unfortunate purists might view that fact to be, at least if the entries are listed separately, at some graphic remove from the entry for chain , their physical distance would make their semantic, metaphoric distance more understandable. If the only reason for submerging these compounds under a key word is that they share an element that has the same form, then I consider that inadequate. If there is any justification for submerging them, then it must be that there is a semantic category of chain that suggests `two-dimensional interlacing' (in contrast to linear interlocking), another that suggests the notion of `interconnected sequence' (which would take care of chain-smoker, chain reaction, chain-stitch , etc.), and other describable semantic reflexes. At least the subentries under chain reflect the same form as the headword. That is not the case for alternating current , a subentry under alternate , or the array to be found under pass , which includes in passing (participle/gerund), make a pass at (noun), pass by (verb), passed pawn (adjective/past participle). This grammatical gallimaufry is not even in alphabetical order, for pass through comes before pass the time of day: is there some rule about ignoring articles that I missed? Then, thinking that we have captured them all, we find that passkey, passmark , and password are given separate headword status, presumably because they are solid. But the vagaries of spelling are such in our language (see the list at chain ) that one never can tell where to look for words unless they are to be listed in some uniform fashion. Thus, the user has to come to the dictionary already aware that peace-offering and peace-pipe are hyphenated, so they are listed under peace , while peacemaker and peacetime are solid, hence are headwords: that is not very helpful if, as is most likely, the user merely wanted to discover whether the word he was seeking is spelled with a hyphen, as two words, or solid. Do proverbs have a place in dictionaries? I question their status as lexical items but cannot argue on safe ground because they might well be categorized as part of the encyclopedic information. Thus, we find cast pearls before swine under pearl, beggars cannot (or must not) be choosers under beggar , and, even more curiously, know the time of day under time . I doubt that cannot or must not appear in the second proverb as frequently as can't (I cannot recall ever having heard must not or even mustn't ); but the last expression is always preceded by not , and other representations are inaccurate. Other unpleasant questions arise from inconsistencies: 1) Why is George Gershwin identified as being of Russian-Jewish family while Irving Berlin is described as Russian-born, and Benny Goodman and Leonard Bernstein as American? (There is no suggestion at their entries that Fats Waller, Duke Ellington, or Louis Armstrong were black, but, while no direct mention is made of Bessie Smith's color, the encyclopedic information--in a six-line entry--yields the intelligence that She died from injuries received in a car accident, reportedly after being refused admission to a `Whites only' hospital.) 2) Why is Ralph Vaughan Williams listed under Vaughan Williams but Sir Arthur Conan Doyle appears under Doyle? 3) Why is the dispute between the Greek government and the British Museum over the Elgin Marbles raised in a dictionary (regardless of how encyclopedic it is)? 4) What accounts for the seemingly random amount of space devoted to biographical entries?: Elgar gets 15; Elizabeth I 16; Elizabeth II 8 (quite unrevealing, though friendly and chatty). The question of whether proper names of people and places have a rightful place in a dictionary is probably an obsolete one: their presence was formerly justified on the grounds that as words they are far more frequent than many of the legitimate words, like elytron, greave, or mithridatism . That might be justifiable if there were accurate frequency information available. That not being the case, certain names are in because the people and places are well known, some are in because they belong to categories, like presidents of the United States, world capitals, all places with a population exceeding x thousand, and so on. By frequency standards, then, Millard Fillmore, Arthur Meighen, and Eadwig, would be unlikely to make it (though I expect to hear from their respective booster clubs). Balance is a questionable feature in this book: the information about L.S.B. Leakey's widow and son seems a bit over the top, as does the note about his citizenship; Captain Cook gets 19 lines; the United States 21, Niels Bohr 27; Shakespeare 21, and so on. One might think, given the emphasis on encyclopedic information, that etymologies of place names would be included, but they are not. The basic problem is that the editors did not seem able to make value judgments regarding the amount of space to be devoted to the entries: on the one hand we find acid house, chaos theory, and desktop publishing, none of them succinctly written, on the other, long, strung-out entries on Steffi Graff, Margaret Atwood, and Paul McCartney, and to what avail? As a consequence of all this deadwood, we are denied useful lexicographical information, like the fact that chapter and capital are cognates. Were I to nitpick at missing entries, I suppose I would find the kinds of omissions that amateur reviewers delight in, but I shall mention only one. On the day I picked up the OEED to review, Philip Howard's feature, Word-Watching, in The Times [11 November 1991], used in his definition of cicisbeism the word poodle-faker, which, as near as I can make out, is an obscure or archaic Briticism, possibly military slang. Still, neither is in the OEED , though both are in Collins English Dictionary . As might be gathered from the foregoing, I am not enamored of this book as a dictionary, though I must admit that it is different and might well set a trend in reference books. We seem to be entering a stage when many families might have in the entire house only one book that provides any clue to what is going on in the real world. I suppose that if that is the case, this one might be it. Laurence Urdang [US readers should be told that the spellings and pronunciations (given in IPA--International Phonetic Alphabet) are British. The spelling can be coped with by anyone with intelligence, especially as the American spellings are given, too. As no one appears to use the pronunciations anyway, they matter little.] Naming Names According to a Reuters item published in The Times [30 October 1991], four months after being found unconscious outside a bingo hall in Stockholm with Joe Smith engraved on his wrist bracelet, an amnesia victim is memorizing his true name, Djelassi Ali Ben Belgasam Ben Kilami. 8:00 PM BET FRANK'S PLACE The Chez is sued for serving a patron too many drinks after he is killed in a car accident. [From TV Week, The Washington Post, . Submitted by ] After the jury convicted a rapist in circuit court last week, Judge Ted Coleman sentenced him to prison `for the rest of your natural life with credit for the 34 days already served.' [From Column World, by Bob Morris, in The Orlando Sentinel , . Submitted by ] Make your homecoming a memorial one. [From the South Dakota State College Eastern . Submitted by ] The Lamps of Speech Proverbs are the lamps of speech, boasts an Arab saying. The words of night are coated in butter: laments another, as soon as day shines upon them they melt away . Contradictory as life itself, sometimes pointing out a general truth, as often undermining it, Arab proverbs have been gathered and annotated since the ninth century AD. The small Arabic library where I work contains a shelf-full, the volumes numbered one to twelve. Whittling these down to a single article recalls the saying He tried to carry two watermelons in one hand, which in turn recalls the man who tried to tile the sea . Instead, I shall attempt here only a selection of a selection, suggesting some themes and functions along the way. After all, Grapes are eaten one by one and Hair upon hair makes a beard . Proverbs may be considered as a rough guide to local customs, traditions in a nutshell. To understand a people, acquaint yourself with their proverbs , or as another proverb puts it, Customs are the fifth element of the world . Of these customs, hospitality and generosity among the Arabs have pride of place. The generous heart does not grow old; The house that receives no guests receives no angels; A rich man who is ungenerous is like a tree without fruit ; or, more succinctly, Food for one is food for two; One cup of coffee, forty years' friendship . Yet if hospitality is celebrated, its pitfalls are also charted. He ate the camel and all it carried , pithily describes the over-eager guest. Guests and fish after three days start to stink , or even An unwelcome guest lingers like the British Empire . To avoid such asides, remember to Speak straight and sit crooked; or again, After the passing of incense there is no sitting , the message here echoed by a telling rhyme lost in translation. [ ba\?\ad al a\?\uuD la taq\?\uuD ]. Do not let it be whispered of you, You smile at him, and he brings his donkey . Which goes to show that for every proverb for proclaiming in public, there are a couple more for muttering in private. Another subject high on the proverbial agenda is the family. My brother and I against my cousin; my cousin and I against the stranger is a frequently translated example. Families, as the proverb suggests, should be closely knit. They should also, according to most proverbs, be large: There is no light in the house without children; Nobody knows when a man without daughters dies . Or concerning the elderly, A house without an elderly person is as a garden without a well . Motherhood is also highly praised: When a man's mother is at home, his loaf of bread is warm; The mother of a mute understands what he says . So far so good. Aimed in the opposite direction, we have, Sell your mother and buy a rifle , or the even less wholesome, Relatives are scorpions , [ aqaarib \?\aqaarib ] rhyme twisting the arm of truth. Similarly, countering the commendable If you don't have an old person in the house, buy one , we have the less generous In time of famine the old have teeth and What the devil accomplished in a year, an old woman may accomplish in an hour. Children are the stairway to Paradise is challenged by The child of one day had already learned how to annoy its parents , while undercutting the standard injunctions to marry we have A man with two wives becomes a porter . The existence of many opposites suggests that proverbs perhaps once came in pairs, to be swopped in a sort of verbal wrestling, one vying with another or sometimes combining with it, the idealistic and the skeptical in balance: The man without children has a hole in his heart; the man with children has a heart like a sieve; Your family may chew you, but they will not swallow you . Proverbs can be equally ambivalent when it comes to friendship. Straightforward enough is The neighbour before the house, the companion before the road [ al-jaar qabl ad-daar, ar-rafiiq qabl aT-Tariiq ], friendship and rhyme going hand in hand as in He who loves you will chew pebbles for you, your enemy will count your faults [Habiibutak yamDugh lak azzalaT wa \?\aduuka ya\?\ud al-ghalaT ]. A proverbial second opinion, however, is found in Don't pray for your friend's good fortune, lest you lose him . Or again, See two people in harmony, and one person is bearing the burden , or the still more skeptical Beware of your enemy twice, beware of your friend a hundred times . Yet the most Machiavellian proverbs pertain to government, Acton's view of power echoed with a vengeance: Always stroke the head you want to cut off warns one medieval example. The victim is murdered, the funeral is attended , confides another, the grisly humor continuing in The sound of footsteps does not disturb the severed head . Advice on the policy of divide and rule is contained in When the cat and mouse make peace, the grocer's store is lost . Advice on not underestimating the opposition is seen in He who makes light of other men will be killed by a turnip . On the need for firm government: One rug can accommodate twelve dervishes, but no kingdom can accommodate two kings . The pitfalls of negotiation are described in He who gets between the onion and its skin will be rewarded by its stink, while an observation on rhetoric, as true of the House of Commons as of the Abbasid court, goes, Everything is cut short except a long speech. For use by ministers of finance there is If meat is dear, patience is cheap. For those in the middle echelons of government comes a whole portfolio of sayings on the perils of ambition. Climb like a cucumber, fall like an aubergine; Stretch your feet only as far as your blanket allows; No tree has reached the sky; The foot that is too swift must be cut off; He who eats the Sultan's raisins must give him dates, or, put another way, A man without cunning is like an empty matchbox. The great mass of proverbs, though, are for the lips of the governed, those proverbial underdogs. A streetwise realism prevails, if not downright subversion: One lie in the Sultan's head impedes a dozen truths; There's no security in three things: the sea, the Sultan, and time. Expectations are generally low in accordance with When you make your bed on the floor you don't fall out. When speaking out is perilous Who should tell the lion that he has bad breath?; Complain to the bow and it will send an arrowother means are required: When you have a favor to ask of the dog, call him Sir, or, summing up the nature of hierarchies down the ages, The prince's dog is also a prince. Deference is not the only means: Money delivers the djinni bound, assures one; two others snigger that A bribe (a) takes down the judge's trousers, (b) unwinds his turban. If economy with the truth is one proverbial optionNever tell the truth unless you have one foot in the stirrup as a general policy that is not without dangers also: The rope of untruth is short. Safeguarded by their anonymity, proverbs have a way of reaching awkward home truths shunned by other texts. Leave the moral high ground to poets, sultans, and the powers that be: Keep away from trouble and sing to it, suggests one saying; but most warn that trouble will come anyway. In the timeless land of proverbs Murphy'sor, if you will, Abdullah'sLaw rules: Start selling turbans and people will be born without heads; If a peasant were made of silver, his balls would be made of brass. In the same vein, I went to Damascus to rid myself of worries; Damascus was full of worries, or, in a phrase, One grape, a hundred wasps. The Almighty might provide the dervish with a kitchen, but conversely He sends almonds to those without teeth. All this might be depressing, until we remember how proverbs also have an inbuilt skepticism about themselves. Better a neat lie than a sloppy truth hints how rhyme, that proverbial standby, can get the better of reality. Proverbial truth is nothing if not many-sided, experience winning out over language for its own sake. The tongue of experience is truest, confirms one with due humility: Ask a man of experience and not a physician. Throughout the individual is given his due, experience seen as a sort of leveler: There is no tree the wind has not shaken; He whose hands are in water is not like him whose hands are in fire; or, taken a stage further, An imbecile can manage his own affairs better than a wise man the affairs of other people. Perhaps it is in the light of this that we should understand the saying, Seek advice from a thousand men, ignore the advice of a thousand more, then return to your original decision. The limitations of languages are again brought home in A thousand curses do not tear a tobe [a shapeless, shirtlike garment]; or, most majestically of all, in The dogs bark, the caravan passes. Behind the telling proverb is a salutary regard for something infinitely more powerful. If I have regretted keeping quite once, I have regretted my speech many times over, another proverb admonishes in my left ear, while at my right there whispers in Arabic and then in English: idhaa kaana al-kalaam min fiDDah fa as-sukuut min dhahab: If speech is silver, silence is golden. Wandering around the transformed city of Bergen, Norway in search of old haunts, I felt like Gulliver waking from a long sleep. [From Going Home to/Retour Bergen, by Helga Loverseed, in Empress (C.P. Airlines magazine), :52. Submitted by .] Cemetery buries crime victim every 2 days. [Headline from San Bernardino Sun , . Submitted by ., who observes, You can't keep a good man down.] Stress To paraphrase the German proverb: it's the stress that makes the meaning. Hyperbole, perhaps, but consider the following: 1) a big red house 2) a big red house 3) a big red house 4) a big red house 5) a big red house In the third and fourth phrases, a comparison with other kinds of house is implied and, in the last, with other kinds of building. Each version conveys a slightly different and easily distinguishable meaning. In like manner, a French teacher is one who teaches French; a French teacher is a citizen of France who teaches something; a grave -digger is a cemetery employee; a grave digger is a solemn archaelogist or perhaps a single-minded dog with a bone; and a head shrinker is not a head -shrinker but a chief launderer of woolens. Sometimes a change of stress does not alter the meaning. British speakers or, at least, those heard on BBC often emphasize certain phrases differently from their American cousins. Thus, to BBC announcers, President Clinton's residence is the White House , while, to Americans, it is the White House; and I once heard a BBC announcer say Prometheus Bound when an American would have said Prometheus Bound . As far as I can discover, hono (u) r-bound and north-bound are stressed in the same way on both sides of the Atlantic, that is, by both groups of English -speakers ( not the same as English speakers ). Recently, in Maine, a television advertisement for a large paper company ended thus: X Company: Caring about the state we're in . Normally, the primary stress would fall on caring with a secondary stress on state . By stressing state, with a secondary stress on in, the advertisement gaveor tried to givethe impression that X Company, however it may be viewed by environmentalists, really cares about the State and the state of Maine. Another, nationally aired series of advertisements relied on some wordplay achieved by wrongly stressing the first word of the name of a breakfast food whose pseudo-colloquial garble I will not dignify by quoting. Ordinarily, in the phrase nut and honey , both nouns would bear equal emphasis. In the advertisement, the first was stressed, yielding, Nothing, honey. Ah, well. A kind of rapture of the deep seizes writers of advertisements when they try to plumb the public's tolerance of inanity. The confusion caused by such differently or wrongly placed emphasis in a phrase is likely to be short-lived and on a level with unfamiliar prounciations such as congratul at ory, con jure , con temp late, disci plin ary, la bor at'ry, and vag ar y. Nor is communication really disrupted even by those new, semiliterate Americanisms: communic ant , consult ant , defend ant; counsel or, elect or (al), jur or , where the schwa (as a in above, e in her ) has been replaced by broad (- ant ) or rounded (- or ) vowel sounds. Other, often dialectal aberrations such as in surance and in flu ence are also readily understandable. The same, however, cannot be said either of the recent and increasingly common af flu ence, barely, if at all, distinguishable from the similarly mis-stressed ef flu ents, or of defuse , when a failure to place nearly equal emphasis on both syllables leads to the word's being mistaken for the verb diffuse . In recent years, according to The Oxford Companion to the English Language , The BBC Pronunciation Unit has made some changes in its recommendations to broadcasters, who are now being advised, among other things, to stress the first instead of the second syllable of controversy ; the second syllable of dispute as both verb and noun; and the first syllable of cervical , instead of the second (with - i - as in nine ). Presumably, urinal (- i - as in nine ) is now also stressed on the first syllable. I suspect that the new policy, rather than being a reflection of changes in the speech of literate Britons, is a nodor perhaps a resigned shrugin the direction of overseas English speakers, since the new pronunciations conform with those of at least some overseas speakers, among them, Americans. Yet, with the exceptions of af flu ence, defuse, and, for Americans, the now-disapproved cervical, these examples of difference in stress can be said to be no more than small blips in the smooth flow of ideas. Far more confusion is being caused by the insidious loss of second-syllable stress in words that are both verbs and nouns. Of course, there are words that are pronounced and stressed exactly alike in both syntactical uses: accord, control, decree, dismay, et al.; but these words appear to be in the minority. More numerous are those transformed by first-syllable stress from verbs to nouns or, less commonly, to adjectives. Examples are: abstract consort impress purpose address contest object record compact contract pervert subject compress frequent purport suspect Sometimes, even these verbs may be stressed on the first syllable by way of contrasting two actions or conditions, as in, it has de creased, not in creased. While such distinctions have no effect on our understanding of the written word which has punctuation to help it, in speech they are useful pointers to syntax and meaningor could be, if only speakers would make phrases like the following distinguishable: agency's combat agencies combat chemist's compound chemists compound driver's permit drivers permit pollster's survey pollsters survey Even when one is not given to viewing every change in language with fear and loathing, it does seem that any loss of clarityespecially on the part of politicians and of those who are the principal purveyors of informationought to cause some alarm. It may be symptomatic of such losses that today the adverb of choice is clearly, used even more often than the hucksters' Free! , and, since clarity of expression and thought is seldom evident, this frequent repetition of clearly can be seen as a kind of mantra, a prayer that begs our indulgence, asks us to take the wish for the deed, and, what is far worse, seeks to convict us of ignorance and stupidity should we look elsewhere for enlightenment. Slang from Greyfriars Eighty years before the Dead Poets' Society was filmed, another master was shaping the vocabulary of schoolboys. This was the unique Charles Hamilton, alias Frank Richards, Martin Clifford, Owen Conquest, Winston Cardew, and many other pen-names. Truly he has been called the world writing champion but now is most remembered for his creation of Billy Bunter, the Fat Owl of the Remove. Turn through the pages of his comics, The Magnet and The Gem, and the dated charm of their schoolboy slang lives again. Copies even found their way into the trenches of the First World War, so Frank Richards (his favorite name) stamped generations of boys from 1908 to 1940 and even later when the tales were turned into books, up until the last Bunter Story appeared in 1960, shortly before Richards' death. Although his school tales were spun around public schools many of his young readers went to State schools but still read his matchless prose with delight. 200,000 copies of The Magnet were sold weekly throughout the British Isles. Even George Orwell was moved to comment on the phenomenon: The year is 1910 or 1940 but it is all the same. You are at Greyfriars. There is a cosy fire in the study. The king is on the throne and the pound is worth a pound. Over in Europe the comic foreigners are jabbering and gesticulating. Lord Mauleverer has just got another fiver and we are all settling down to a tremendous tea of sausages, sardines, crumpets, potted meat, jam and doughnuts. Everything is safe, solid and unquestionable. Everything will be the same for ever and ever. F.R. captures the youthful slang of that innocent era when life consisted of countless exclamation marks. Bunter is much given to apprehension Oh crikey!, Oh jiminy!, Oh lor'! or when an even worse fate is expected, Yarooh! Harry Wharton's favorite Great pip! influenced many young readers, while Oh crumbs!, or What the thump ?, or Oh my hat! were all typical expression in the '20s and appear in P.G. Wodehouse novels also, as both influential writers had a vivacious approach to slang. Key words of that era are cheery, chums, and breezy, all much used by Frank Richards. His own favorite expression was All is calm and bright. Few writers of school tales were as erudite as this shy scholar, who once wrote a Bunter tale in Latin, which was printed in an issue of The Times Educational Supplement in 1960. The richness and variety of his own vocabulary was a good influence on that army of young readers. Mr. Quelch, form master of the Remove, was a beast, but a just beast, a phrase echoed by many schoolboys of that era. He was as sharp a Latin scholar as F.R. himself and clearly had an effect on the vocabulary of his foolish and absurd pupils, especially in the insults they exchanged with each other, copied by their readers. You spoofing sweep! You frabjous ass! You fat duffer! Mr. Quelch would describe the chubby Bunter as have an extensive circumference , and more verbal riches were supplied by Hurree Jamset Ram Singh, the young Nabob of Bhanipur, who acts like a cheerful Greek chorus. Is it a go? asked Bunter. The go fulness is not terrific chuckled the young Nabob. The goodfulness of the riddance is great but the cheekfulness of the idiotic Bunter is preposterous! This amusing mix of fractured English and an excellent vocabulary was enjoyed and copied by young readers who relished the ridiculous. The pages of F.R.'s schoolboy stories were peppered with Cave! and Ware breaks! The jolly old bean's got his jolly old back up , so one sees how smoothly these stories prepared the readers for the transition to Wodehouse and encapsulated the idea of the laid-back Englishman in the idiom of that time. Ripping, whopper `lie,' nunky for `uncle,' take a pew `seat,' on their jiggers `bicycles,' playing the goat, a measly solicitor, cad, and rotter, and similar expressions were all part of typical schoolboy slang before World War II, and F.R.'s tales are brimming with them. As one fan, now elderly, recalled, Errand boys were able to enter through the `Gem' and `Magnet' into a new world where the talk was of fivers and tenners, motorbikes and gold watches things they had never encountered at that time, so their horizons as well as their vocabularies were extended. Bunter's long-awaited postal order was a joke every boy understood, but Frank Richards was clever enough to adapt his use of schoolboy slang to the changed times. Before World War II he would write that Bunter couldn't care a straw, but in his later novels he changed this to couldn't care less, so his ear for dialogue stayed tuned into very old age. The code of schoolboy honour remained steadfast, as did the erudite smattering of French and Latin phrases and quotations from the Bible and Shakespeare that made Frank Richard's school tales educational as well as entertaining. The recent resurgence of interest in his stories in modern reprints and broadcasts shows that this archaic schoolboy slang is still perfectly recognizable and acceptable to a new generation as we near the 21st century. That gap between the charismatic master of the Dead Poets' Society and the prolific Frank Richards is narrower than one might think. Some English Loanwords in Thai The strangest example of a loanword I have encountered in Thai is half-English, half-Italian musically derived: dedsmollay. At first I took it to be French because of its sound, but actually it comes from the Dean Martin song That's Amore, which enjoyed enormous popularity here. If you recall, When the moon hits your eye like a great pizza pie/That's amore. Thais chose to hear dead for that and corrupted 's amore to smollay; thus dedsmollay has been a common slang word for `dead' for thirty years or so! Thailand is the only southeast Asian nation to have avoided colonization by a western power, so there are significantly fewer English loanwords in Thai than there are French in Lao, Vietnamese, and Khmer, English in Malay and Burmese, and Dutch in Indonesia's various languages. That is not to say that Thai has been slow or reluctant to adopt or assimilate words from other languages, but they are mostly Sanskrit/Pali, Khmer, and Chinese. The first English loanwords date from perhaps 100 years ago, exhibiting steady growth since then with a truly spectacular spurt over the past twenty years, predictably in the fields of science, business and economics, politics, fashion, pop culture, and so on. Here are a few of the more interesting ones I have come across. As in all languages, the older a loanword, the less recognizable it is, so I start with some of these and then move on. bam a pump. bok the game of poker. engerhon non-imbibed alcohol. godang warehouse. [from godown] gok tap/faucet. [from stopcock] heema snow. [from the Himalayas? Thailand never experiences snow; indeed, it is such an alien concept that, if shown a postcard of a snow-covered landscape, working-class Thais say it looks delicious rather than beautiful. Strictly speaking it is not an English loanword.] (rote) may city bus. [rote means `land conveyance' and may comes from mail. The first van- (and I suppose vaguely bus-) like vehicles common in Bangkok were used for mail delivery. Also rote tua `tour bus,' rote air `air con bus,' and rote cote `coach'] reet wreath. satoh to store. dan ton. goolud gross. lah yard. Now used only for cloth. lim ream. loh dozen. aksairt abscess. bar beer outdoor beer bar. No prizes for guessing that adjectives follow nouns in Thai! bartendee female bartender. [Dee is from lady] (riak) bip bip to page someone. Riak means `to call.' cheque spring bounced cheque. choke up shock absorbers. dy blow-dry. Erawit Elvis. giff shop novelty items such as plastic vomit, whoopee cushions. [from gift shop] (reua) loh rowing boat. Also reua yort [from yacht] used in the sense of `luxury cruiser.' A sailboat in Thai literally and rather charmingly translates as `a boat with a leaf.' lingmote remote control device. Robin Hood illegal immigrant worker. (khon) serb waiter or waitress. [Khon means `person' and serb, is from serve.] (nak) sing lunatic drivers in flash motors. [Nak means `person' and sing comes from racing] sow bow walkman. [from sound bound. I have not been able to unearth who coined this or if it is exclusive to Thai.] (jai) sport to be a good sport. [Jai means `heart.' Numerous Thai expressions use jai, e.g., khaojai, `to understand,' literally `to enter the heart.'] tomsin tonsils. v.d.o. phonetic rendition of video. Often spelled in Latin rather than Thai characters. fen boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife, minor wife, lover. [from fan `enthusiast'] toot any male homosexual. [from the film Tootsie in which Dustin Hoffman dressed up as a woman. This is odd because transvestites are openly accepted in Thai society, and male homosexuals are not consideredas they are by some Japanese housewives I have metas wanting to cross dress.] gay king dominant partner in a male homosexual relationship. gay queen partner who assumes the feminine role in a male homosexual relationship. lb lesbian. Also ledbian and bian. dee partner who assumes the female role and appearance in a lesbian relationship. [from lady] torm partner who assumes the masculine role and appearance in a lesbian relationship. [from tomboy.] Also used in the English sense of a girl who climbs trees, picks scabs, disdains frocks, though less so nowadays. sexy bom sex symbol. Probably an elided mix up of sexy, sex bomb, and sex symbol (/sek/sy/m/ bon/) because l is not a final consonant in Thai and if encountered in a loanword becomes n (or in this case m as bomb is also a loanword). Thus, the present writer is addressed in Thai as Mr Porn! I should like to end with a mysterynothing to do with loanwords at all but fascinating nonetheless. The Thai name for the Beatles is Sii Tao Tong `the Four Golden Turtles.' So far I have been unable to find out why but I live in hope. Politically Correct Linguistic Paranoia On Sunday, 11 July 1993, John McLaughlin, in signing off his television program, The McLaughlin Group, apologized for having used the word welsh in the sense, cheat by failing to pay a gambling debt; go back on one's word [ RHD Unabridged ] in an earlier program. Presumably, the Welsh lobby had gone after him in the mistaken assumption that the word derives from the word Welsh `of, pertaining to, or characteristic of the people of Wales.' The RHD precedes that etymology with perh., meaning, obviously that there is some possibility of that derivation; the OED etymology is Origin unknown. Examination of the scores of senses listed in the OED for Welsh, n. , reveals that virtually all are either entirely neutral or complimentary; the two possible exceptions are welshcomb `comb one's hair by using one's thumb and fingers instead of a comb' and Welsh cricket `louse.' Of the latter type many examples could be listed on the order of Irish pennant `untidy loose end of a rope.' The RHD labels the term ( sometimes offensive ), which does not mean that it is offensive occasionally but that it is offensive to some people (presumably Irish). Have the French raised an international brouhaha at the UN about the French disease? Have the British applied to the International Court of Justice about the English disease? Have adherents to Judaism worldwide taken offense at Jew's harp? Hardly, though Oxford University Press went through a bad patch some years ago because of the subentry Jew down `bargain down in price,' notwithstanding its notation marking the use as offensive. In America they tell Polish jokes; the same jokes are told in England about the Irish; very likely, they crop up amongst the Serbs about the Croats, amongst the Croats about the Serbs, and amongst the Muslims about the Serbs and the Croats. Recently, the head of the California Bar Association delivered an address at the annual meeting decrying jokes about lawyers, suggesting that a man who had raided a law office and killed some people in it had been inspired or spurred on by the derisive attitude toward lawyers that lawyer jokes fostered. Oddly, it was in the same McLaughlin program referred to above that this issue was raised and promptly ridiculed as ludicrous: one can assume only that McLaughlin felt more pressured by nationalistic and ethnic interests than by lawyers. VERBATIM ran an article, Politically Correct Nomenclature, or, How to Win at Trivial Pursuit and Lose Friends [XVIII, 4], by Marc A. Schindler, that delved into the subject, particularly with regard to the use of Inuit for Eskimo, though I note that the trade name, Eskimo Pie, has not been changed to Inuit Pie; also, it seems unlikely that the French ice cream confection, Esquimau Gervais, has been hailed into court. When I was a lad, the word nigger was taboo in the US, but it was used freely till recently in Britain (meaning `any dark-skinned person'): the word Negro (with a capital N ) was carefully used instead. Then, at about the same time when colored was anathematized (despite the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People, which has still not changed its name), black was legislated by that community of speakers to supplant Negro and colored, though I cannot recall any riders requiring a capital B . ( Cape Colored or, more properly, Coloured is retained in South Africa with a specific denotation of a person of mixed European and African or Malayan ancestry [ RHD Unabridged ], in which one must read White for European and dark-skinned for African or Malayan.) There cropped up, here and there, objections to the use of black to describe things other than good and pure, and Black is beautiful became the catchword of the day. Is it my imagination or do I detect intimations that black is on its way out? In a perfect world, there would be no need to refer to people by their skin color: many years ago newspapers agreed to omit mention of an individual's color, but they got round that by showing a photograph; today, television newscasters avoid irrelevant mention of skin color, but they seem almost relieved to be able to show a picture of someone being arrested and of looters and rioters. Gone is the time when one might make a reasonably accurate guess at a person's race or nationality by his name; today, when blacks who do not adopt Arabic names or names like Franklin D. Roosevelt Jones might be named Kelly or Murphy, Jews born as Greenberg change their name to Monteverdi or Vermont, Hirsch to Cerf, and so forth, and people with Slavic and Italian names either change its spelling in an attempt to get people to pronounce it as closely as possible to the original (e.g., Kovalsky instead of Kowalski ) or keep the spelling and change the pronunciation because they get tired of telling people that Modigliani is properly pronounced [\?\md\?\lyn] (or, Anglice, [\?\md\?\lyn]) and not muh\?\diglee\?\ahnee, that Castagno is easily pronounced [kstny], or that the Polish name Zajac is pronounced [\?\zyntz] rather than Say, Jack: after all, there might still be some old-timers who remember the film actress Signe Hasso as well as words like sign, assign, consign, condign, malign, deign, feign, reign, etc., hence know that in a medial - gn -, the - g - is not always articulated. I number such items among the Perils of Literacy: it is mainly since they learned to read that people have begun to change the standard pronunciations of words and names according to their spellings, a dangerous bit of mischief for a language like English. Any restrictive tampering with language in America immediately prompts a knee-jerk reaction invoking the First Amendment, which it would not be inappropriate to quote here: Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances. Is it only in America that special interest groups have learned to lobby for preferential treatment and attempt to legislate the language? The recent change in Miami by which Spanish is allowed alongside English as an official language is seen by some as a Balkanization of the cherished melting pot; but those holding that view who support it with the claim that the 20th-century immigrants have assimilated culturally and speak English are wrong: many speak little or no English, and most make every effort they can to retain the cultures of their respective native lands, including religious observances. One might be led to think that it is always open (silly) season on the language in the US; but we cannot ignore the seriousness of religious taboos on some aspects of language and writing, as the fatwah issued by the Ayatollah Khomeini on Salman Rushdie because of a book. In a macabre way, one might take heart from the news that books could still be perceived to have such an impact; my own cynical view is that had it not been for the attention drawn to it by the fatwah, Satanic Verses would not have had much effect and would have been long forgotten by now. In other countries, people kill each other over language. There are a lot of offensive words in the language, but far worse are the offensive ways in which people put those words together to express offensive ideas. Schindler's List of Ashkenaz's Names Back in the mid-80s, when Keneally's book Schindler's List first came out, an eerie experience happened to me. I was intrigued by the book; over and above the coincidence of names, to be sure, but having the same, relatively rare name as the book's protagonist led to a forceful lesson in the power of Name. I happened to buy the book at a bookstore in New York's Laguardia Airport. I paid for it with a credit card, and when the clerk saw my name on the credit card, her eyes widened. Mr. Schindler, pleaselet me shake your hand! I was very embarrassed and could feel my face flush. I protested that I was no relation to Oskar Schindler, but this did not seem to make any difference to her. I'm Jewish, she explained, and it's enough for me to touch the name. Ironically, given Oskar Schindler's role in saving the lives of Jews in Poland and Czechoslovakia, the name is not exclusively a gentile German name. Some months ago, the chief rabbi of conservative Judaism in the U.S. wrote a letter to the editor of The Wall Street Journal commenting on a review of the Spielberg moviethe rabbi's name is also Schindler (again, no relation!). On several occasions, while applying for visas to a certain Middle Eastern country, I have been asked to provide a baptismal certificate, presumably to determine whether I was Jewish or Christian, which happens to play an unofficial role in the entry practices of that particular country. About a decade ago a European airplane was hijacked by Middle Eastern terrorists, who tried to identify Jews among the passengers by the names in their passports, on the theory that those ending in - stein or - berg were clearly Jewish. A German-speaking stewardess, drafted into an interpretive role by the terrorists, played a heroic role by insisting that all of the Germanic-sounding names were really pure German, not Jewish. Is there in fact such a thing as a Jewish name? More specifically, are there unique or typical names borne by Ashkenazi Jews from central Europe? Aside from nobility, most inhabitants of German-speaking central Europe started taking family names in the Middle Ages. As in Britain, these names fell into various categories (the following is not meant to be exhaustive, just illustrative): occupations: English - Weaver, Cartwright, Smith, etc. German - Weber, Rademacher, Schmidt, etc. patronyms: English - Johnson, Roberts, etc. (patronyms are not as common in German) place names: English - Churchill, Washington, Lincoln, etc. German - Adenauer, Hindenburg, Waldheim, etc. personal characteristics: English - Small, Black, Lionheart, etc. German - Klein, Schwarz, Liwenherz, etc. However, at the time that commoners started taking names, Jews were forced to live in special ghettoes. Depending on the nature of the local liege lord, that was partly for their own protection and partly so they could be controlled. The restrictions of the ghetto were not only geographical: inhabitants were usually restricted in the trades they could engage in. Crafts were usually not allowed, since the craft guilds excluded Jews; but Jews were allowed to engage in banking (and related industries, such as pawnbroking), mercantile pursuits, and long-distance trading. As the symbol of the pawnbroker was the three gold balls (ef. the family arms of the Rothschilds), Goldstein (`gold stone') became a popular name for pawnbrokers or bankers (often there was little difference between the two trades). Krmer was a small-scale merchant, the prefix Mandel - usually indicated a trader in almonds, and Bernstein is the German word for `amber,' a semiprecious stone traded along routes which stretched from the Middle East up through Ukraine, Poland, and Lithuania. Schindler, on the other hand, was a guild craft. The English cognate would be `shingler,' or `shingle-maker,' and the word originally comes from the Latin scindere , meaning `to split.' One thinks of splitting a cedar wood block to make what we would call shakes in English. However, the Schindler not only made shakes, he also built and surfaced the entire roof of a house; so in my opinion, the name really corresponds better with the English surname Tyler. As a guild craft, roofing would normally have been closed to Jews during the era when surnames came into use amongst the guild classes. Indeed, in the book Schindler's List, there are two persons named Schindler: Oskar Schindler, the protagonist, who was a Catholic Sudetendeutscher (ethnic German from Bohemia or Moravia); and a Brigadier Schindler, an official with the Wehrmacht procurement office in Berlin (who one presumes was not Jewish). About ten or twelve years ago, when I started traveling in the course of my business (as international business manager for a medical company), I would often look up Schindlers in local phone books and write them to see if we might be related. I underestimated the commonness of the name. When I grew up, on the Canadian Prairies, my teachers were mostly WASP and had a hard time spelling or pronouncing my name. I thought that my name was unique and exotic, like those of my fellow ethnic German- and Ukrainian-Canadian classmates. It came as a surprise to find that there are Schindlers in almost every large city of the world I have visited, including those in Europe, Australia, South Africa, and even Latin America. Starting about five years ago, I started seeing the little white service wagons of the Schindler Elevator Co., a Swiss company, zipping around downtown Ottawa, Toronto, and Montreal. I engaged in many Briefwechsel with Schindlers (and Shindlers) from London to New York to Melbourne to Cape Town and found that many were, in fact, Jewish. Most of these have anglicized (or yiddishized) their names, to Shindler . As one London Shindler told me, The German language has nothing but bitter memories for us, so my father adopted the English spelling when we moved here after the War. How this exception to the rule occurred is impossible to determine, but it is not really difficult to imagine that it could easily have happened over the course of centuries of inter-marriage. I have often wondered what might happen if, during one of my visits to the Middle East, I should become the object of interrogation by someone with, shall we say, an urgent political agenda. Would he look into my trousers to determine my religion? He would have a problem, of course, because most North American gentiles of my age bear the visible signs of the Covenant of Abraham. How would I explain that while many Jewish names may look German, they are not really German.No, I mean, they are German, or, rather, they took certain German names, but there are exceptions, you see ... I just hope I can convince him my name's really French. ANTIPODEAN ENGLISH Tassie Terms It grieves Tasmanians that the Island State [or Flyspeck or Speck ] is sometimes left off the map of Australia, yet no one visiting the former convict colony can be untouched by the tangible pervasiveness of the past and the importance attached by Tasmanians to activities and events which, in mainland terms, are long gone. Part of this impression comes from the state's increasing dependence on tourism and its readiness to dress up the differences in ways likely to appeal to tourists from overseas and from other parts of Australia who feel they have moved with the times. The very word convict is more prominent in everyday spoken English than it is in, say, Sydney, with compounds like convict brick, convict building, convict garden, convict piner, convict relic, and convict settlement. Terms that have validity only in a historical context abound: carrying gang, Dumb cell, Model Prison, probation gang, and separate prison, or the place name Isle of the Dead, all of which appear currently in literature prepared for the tourist trade. So does the former name for the colony, Van Diemen's Land (so named by the Dutch explorer Abel Tasman), or its facetious variant, Vandemonia (former Tasmanian convicts being known on the mainland as Vandemonians). Convict piner indicates both a retention of and a transition from the past. A piner is and was a timbergetter who specialized in Huon pine, a conifer producing an attractive and highly valued timber, once used for boatbuilding but now protected and employed mainly in the manufacture of touristy artifacts. Pining was unequivocally an occupation. The piner once lived in a badger box , a makeshift shelter named in allusion to the wombat's capacious hole in the ground (the wombat being known uniquely in Tasmania as a badger, to which it bears a passing resembalance). This highlights the retention of terms belonging to the past that have been given a new and artificially maintained currency as part of the Holiday Isle's tourist-oriented self-promotion. The apple industry provides another example: apple chewer is explicable as a sign of plenty, but apple carver is the fruit of a somewhat desperate attempt to provide entertainment; and Apple Island or Isle is part now of a deliberately created nostalgia for a past in which there was once a thriving export industry. There is a plenteousness of natural resources. The proprietorial use of the adjective Tasmanian found in compounds like Tasmanian kingfish, Tasmanian pink-eye (a potato), Tasmanian scallop (the shellfish, not, as in New South Wales, a slice of fried potato), and Tasmanian red (an apple)plays on an ostensible difference in the island produce, as does the much more audacious hijacking of Atlantic in Tasmanian Atlantic salmon (farmed Tasmanian salmon). Names of apples like cleopatra and democrat, of potatoes like bintje, black derwent, and kennebec, carry a Tasmanian stamp (in Australia at any rate), as does the mutton bird (the shearwater, Puffinus tenuirostris )which has given Tasmanian English the verb mutton bird or in its abbreviated form bird, as well as lexical oddities like dizz (`cook a mutton bird') for those foolhardy enough to contemplate such a feat. The indigenous flora and fauna likewise have been carefully marketed to tourists as different : the Tasmanian tiger (now probably extinct) lives in legend and forlorn reaches of the remotest parts of the island, the Tasmanian devil (a carnivorous marsupial of undeniably fierce appearance) in tired zoos and nature parks where nonexclusive animals like the kangaroo and koala share the honors with a remarkable range of diminutive marsupials genuinely peculiar to Tassie, which have added value in an age that cultivates the notion of wilderness. Again the tourist trade looms with its advertisements for cabins, complete with queen-size bed and spa bath, and all with spectacular river or wilderness views. But there are genuine regionalism lurking in both the written and the spoken language: corinna (an Aboriginal name for the Tasmanian tiger), mariner (a corruption of the Aboriginal merrina for a seashell used as a physical ornament), quoib (an Aboriginal term for a wombat), and wing-wang (again an Aboriginal term, this time for a fiery piece of lighted bark thrown by Aborigines). All of which seems narracoupa `very good' considering the strenuous efforts made during the Black War of 1831 to disperse the Tasmanian Aborigines. And there are spoken examples of British regional dialect survivals: the litmus test for a Tasmanian native is the pronunciation and use of rum-un an `eccentric.' Indicative also is familiarity with pocket , originally a `measure of hops or the bag in which they were carried,' now used exclusively of potatoes, and nointer a `scapegrace or mischievous person.' Tasmanian English, then, presents an interesting face to the outside world, partly the face of a genuine regional dialect nurtured by the stability and comparative isolation of its population, and partly a construct of the tourist industry, which harnesses both the new and the old to create a viable contemporary image. VERBUM SAP Verbum Sap The Media Is the Message I have few data to support me, and my stamina are not up to long, tedious research, but I have a hunch that media the main agendum on many a pedant's plate these daysis well on its way to becoming a standard singular noun, except perhaps among hidebound literati and intransigent intelligentsia on various university campi, in style books, and in other blessed receptacles of holy semantic writ. My hunch also tells me that there are more people who use media as a singular noun than there are people who write bristling letters to the editor insisting on its immutable pluralitywhich is to say, a lot. The media itself/themselves has its/their needle stuck in the old monaural groove. Most style books stoutly maintain media is a plural noun, period. The New York Times Manual of Style and Usage admits the existence of an alternative but dismisses it as a subversive plot: Media still a plural, despite persistent efforts to turn it into a singular. It adds, with smug ivory-tower certainty, The singular is, of course, medium. The British Broadcasting Corporation's Style Guide is also stuck in the mud. Its diktat on media says this: Plural. `The media sometimes display (not displays) a sensational approach to events.' Remember also that data, criteria, and phenomena are plurals. But the plural of referendum is referendums, not referenda! The (Toronto) Globe and Mail Style Book not only holds media's plurality, but includes within its wide network books, periodical publications, radio, TV, advertising, mass mailing. How did they overlook town criers? In a recent Globe and Mail column, a magazine critic was taking pot shots at a gun-supporting U.S. publication called Women's Self Defense. Among his targets was a cover-story headline that read: How the Media Encourages Violence, Yet Discourages Women from Owning Guns. The magazine, he tut-tutted, is full of similar grammatical mistakes. I could detect no other solecisms, so I assumed he was taking aim at the use of the singular verb with the noun media. What these dauntless defenders of the status quondam fail to detect is that a linguistically fascinating, and utterly inevitable, semantic change is occurringhas already occurred, reallybeneath their very proboscises (or proboscides for the classically rigorous). The result of this evolution is that there is now both a plural media and a singular media, and each means something different. The legitimate and widely recognized singular meaning was illustrated recently in the Globe and Mail, despite the Style Book's taboo. The paper's television critic began a story this way: It is a mean, cold morning down at CHCH-TV, where the media has been invited to risk its collective life on the icy highway from Toronto to Hamilton [to preview a series premiere]. The sense is clear and logical here. This media does not include book publishers and junk-mail pushers, and no reader would take that meaning. It means simply the news media, or what used to be called the press, used as a collective singular as early as 1797 (See OED press n., 14). The press served the purpose well, as long as it involved only print media. When radio and television joined the club, some new collective handle was felt to be needed. The public, in its wisdom, opted for the nettlesome media, first used in this sense, to anyone's knowledge, in a 1923 article in Advertising & Selling called Class Appeal in the Mass Media. In the same magazine, the singular medium appeared, but so did the singular media. And ever since, the purists have been more concerned about bad Latin than good English. The language has a way of sorting out awkward situations, such as those created by the rather tortured proper examples in the first paragraph. Data, still in transition, is usually singular outside academic and scientific settings. Stamina (plural of stamen ), has been singular since the early 18th century when, like media, it developed a new sense. Agenda (which once had the singular agend in English) has been treated as one since the turn of this century. Literati and intelligentsia retain their snooty classical endings because it looks good on them and other pseudo- cognoscente. Campi is a joke. Bacteria has just about completed its evolution to singularity. Criteria and phenomena, heard everywhere as singles, are encountering stern opposition from people who take care to speak of a grafitto, but never say a confetto. Many of them also talk of octopi, unaware that the correct Greek plural is octopodes or that the accepted anglicized one is octopuses, the simple English plural - s or - es , as in thesauruses, campuses, formulas, indexes, and memorandums. Mediums would have made sense, but usage dictated the plural media. And, certainly, it is still a plural in such senses as various media are on display at the art show. But media unmistakably has also taken on a monolithic unitary sense. I am happy to let the usually conservative American Heritage Dictionary have the last word: As with the analogous words data and agenda, the originally plural form has begun to acquire a sense that departs from that of the singular [ medium ]; used as a collective term, media denotes an industry or community. Contemporary English: Word Lists In the early 1960s, while I was directing the compilation and editing of The Random House Dictionary of the English Language-Unabridged Edition, it occurred to me that it would be extremely useful to have a listing of a large number of English words alphabetized from the rightthat is, listed in normal spelling order but with words ending in a followed by those ending in b, and so on, to those ending in z. My primary purpose was to facilitate the examination of suffixes and desinences. It was a simple matter to find words beginning with prefixes like anti-, pre-, pro-, un-, etc., but finding those that ended in -able, -graph, -ity, -ous , etc. was an entirely different matter. There was no problem identifying the obvious ones, but the less common ones were a bit more elusive. As Random House was unable to fund such research, I approached someone I knew at Air Force Intelligence, at Griffiss Air Force Base, in Rome, New York, with my proposal, suggesting that such an analysis would yield useful results for cryptanalytical research. I was summarily turned down in a peremptory letter that questioned the possible usefulness of such an enterprise. I was consequently a little surprisedand pleasedto be phoned a few months later by one A.F. Brown, a professor in the Psychology Department at the University of Pennsylvania, who told me that he had been called in by Air Force Intelligence and given the job of preparing just such a list. It was at the suggestion of the agency that he was getting in touch with me, as he had no notion of how to go about the work. We met in my office some time later, and, being far more interested in the results than in who did the work or got the credit, I set forth for him the procedures that would yield the list. Although nothing was committed to writing, I gave Brown to understand that all I expected in return was a copy of the resulting work and an acknowledgment of my help in his Foreword. Several years later, the work was published in eight quarto-sized, thick volumes, one set of which was duly delivered to my office. The Foreword was totally devoid of any acknowledgment, however. The first three volumes contained listed solid words, all in capital letters, alphabetized from the right, with codes for each indicating which one or more of some eighteen sources that had yielded them. The fourth volume listed hyphenated forms in the same way. The next four volumes contained the same listings as the first four, but these were alphabetized normally, from the left. The sources were (mainly) the Merriam-Webster Unabridged, Second Edition, and, in addition, as number of other specialized medical, scientific, and other dictionaries. I understand that an attempt had been made to persuade Merriam to allow the use of the entry lists for the Third Edition, but they refused. I cannot recall the exact number of items in the lists, but my impression is that it was approximately 750,000. [As far as I know, the information is still available from the National Technical Information Service, Alexandria Virginia, U.S.A., either in microfiche or as an enlarged machine copy of same.] As this work is not mentioned in Contemporary English: Word Lists, one must assume that its existence was unknown to the author; but that should not put off those who have need of a list that is not only more up to date but is also more selective and, on the grounds of frequency, probably more useful. Hyphenated forms ( heaven-sent ) and multi-word units ( old wives' tale ) are conveniently included in a single listing; though these are alphabetized word-by-word (putting black sheep before blackberry, taxfree before taxable ), the list is short enough so that these are readily found in the Forward part. I missed black hole, which is widely used as a popular metaphor, and was a little surprised find reported speech, Excellency (presumably only a form of address), and sandwich course. Different forms of the same word are listed, e.g., exact, exactly, and exactness, exaggerate, exaggerated, exaggeratedly, and exaggeration. Is it vain of me to suggest that the author might have found it useful to have had at hand my Suffixes and Other Word-final Elements of English (Gale Research Company, 1982)? It lists 1545 word-final elements, many of which are not represented in the book under review. One might well counter that words containing those elements are therefore not common enough to merit inclusion, but is that suffi- cient reason to omit - mane words ( balletomane ), - bund words ( moribund ), and all words ending in - phobe or - phile ? I believe that to create a truly useful work, even acknowledging its restrictions, the author should have considered matters other than raw frequency, the criterion applied for use in the classroom or at home. For instance, I am not entirely sure what purpose is served in long lists of words ending in - ly that are adverbs formed on adjectives: a formula would not only have sufficed but would enable some words, like kindly and friendly , to have been especially marked. Introducing a formula to cover - ize /- ise variants (and some others) would have freed up space for more important inclusions. Of the three suggested uses for the books teaching or learning English word formation, employing the list as a source of frequently used words, and having available only items actually found in English texts, without theoften delightfuloddities one can find in larger dictionariesthe last seems to me the most telling. There are 23,163 items listed; those who argue about the size of native speakers vocabularies would be hard put to find any words or phrases that are not familiar and could very likely extend the list without difficulty. If semantic criteria were applied to homographs (which appear only once), like saw , and to polysemic items, like take up, take in, etc. , even the most naive speaker could expand the list considerably. Laurence Urdang A Dictionary of Fly-Fishing About a dozen years ago, when looking through a mail-order catalogue of sports clothes, I noticed a section offering fishing flies and became intrigued with their namesnames like Cree Sedge and Greenwell's Glory . In a desultory way (I admit), I tried to discover more about the names, with an eye toward compiling a work on the subject. I did manage to acquire a catalogue or two on fishing flies one, I recall, was from Leonard'sbut the entire project slipped away from me to be replaced by other matters requiring more immediate attention. When I saw the present work (in a British catalogue of sports clothes), I sent away for it. I should explain that I fishedthough not seriouslywhen I was about ten years old at summer camp, where we caught mostly sunfish; I once caught a lake bass, which we grilled on an open fire and ate: only those who have eaten fresh-caught fish know the difference between them and the store-bought variety. Some forty years ago, several friends persuaded me to join them on a party-boat to go fishing off Rockaway Beach, near New York City. The day was sultry, without the slightest breeze to create even a suggestion of a cat's paw on the surface of Sheepshead Bay; I caught about twenty-odd fluke, which just lay there, scarcely my notion of game fishing. As I had caught the most fish that day, I won a bottle of scotch, but my friends' wives viewed with some alarm our return bearing among us about fifty fluke, all of which needed cleaning and, of course, either eating or freezing. I have avoided fishing since. No self-respecting reader of books can consider his education complete without having read Izaak Walton. More recently, I have seen fishing competitions on television, happy to see that the fish were returned to the waters whence they have been taken. Most recently, I saw on BBC-TV a most enchanting film about two men who had gone fishing for monster carp on a lake at a private estate somewhere. It was quite beautiful. One might think that watching other people fishing is like watching the grass grow; it cannot compare for action with The Terminator , yet it is far from boringespecially if one is watching an edited version and does not have to sit on shore or in a boat for hours on end and that particular program, punctuated here and there by fishing lore, was dreamily engaging and peaceful, well calculated to remove one's mind from the cares of the day. The literature of fishing goes back a long, long time. As I know little about it, I shall not attempt to expatiate on it here. The present book, although it is called a dictionary, contains much ancillary encyclopedic, folkloristic, and fishloristic information, most of it carefully referenced to sources, which are documented in an eight-page bibliography. (My only criticism of it is that the listing for the fifteenth-century Treatise of Fishing with an Angle appears as the first item, under Anon.: it ought to have a cross reference under Treatise , where I had sought it in vain.) Typically, an entry begins with the etymology of the headword, e.g.: baggot From a verbal participle, bagged, meaning `big with young, pregnant.' (Sir Perceval, 1400: `The mere was bagged with sole.') In many entries, the etymologies are far more replete: that for barb covers twelve lines of text. It would be more accurate to say that the terms are explained, rather than defined; opinions are given, techniques are discussed (carefully distinguishing between dry fly-fishing and wet), and the style is easy. The entries on mayfly , mayfly , and mayfly , the first being any up-winged insect, the second the true mayfly, and the third, the stonefly, cover four full pages; more than six are devoted to sea trout ; more than ten to nymph fishing . Mirror and window goes into a fish's view of the world. Line drawings illustrate the single turle, grinner, blood, needle , and nail all knots used in tying flies. This book is a true pleasure to read, whether one's experience with fish is limited to the occasional accompaniment to chips, to Dover sole vronique , or to standing hip-deep in an icy stream at dawn. It cannot be compared with a dictionary, per se: its headwords serve more as a point of departure for McCully to hold forth on the myriad aspects of an activityI hesitate calling fishing a sport which he evidently knows and loves so well. Laurence Urdang A Dictionary of Australian Underworld Slang This dictionary combines two glossaries of underworld slang which were compiled by two prisoners in New South Wales in the middle of the twentieth century. It is more than a slang dictionary: Simes's own lexicographical analysis of the terms is detailed and impressive, and he also provides a fifty-two page essay on the history of the literature and language of crime and the underworld. The first glossary was compiled in 1944 by Ted Hartley, who was imprisoned as a conscientious objector in 1943 and 1944. Simes discovered this glossary in 1989 among the papers of the Australian novelist Kylie Tennant at the National Library of Australia. Tennant came into contact with Hartley through the Conscientious Objectors' Union, requested the glossary from him, and used it when writing her novel Tell Morning This . Given Hartley's stand as a conscientious objector, it is not surprising that his more expansive glosses often extend into sociological commentary. The second and longer glossary (containing 726 entries), called The Argot , was compiled in 1950 by a long-term prisoner known only as Thirty-five (from the custom of referring to a prisoner by the last two digits of his official number). Although the existence of the glossary was known, especially because Sidney Baker cites some terms from it in the 1966 edition of his The Austrialian Language , most of it has been unpublished until now. Thirty-five had been a school teacher, but the reason for his imprisonment is unknown. A revised edition of half of The Argot also exists. The revision includes material collected in the period 1950-55, but written up at a later date after Thirty-five was released from prison. (The manuscript is dated October 1975.) From his commentary it is clear that Thirty-five, when compiling his glossary, had access to a number of books, including Partridge's Slang To-day and Yesterday and the 1945 edition of The Australian Language . His more expansive glosses focus primarily on lexicographical matters, including some etymological speculation. Thirty-five wrote a Preface to The Argot (included by Simes as an appendix), and he makes some interesting observations about the kind of material he collected. Each entry in the dictionary consists of up to three parts. The first is a blend of the headwords and definitions from the three manuscripts (Hartley's, Thirty-five's 1950 compilation, and Thirty-five's revision), indicating by date which manuscript is being used. The texts are edited conservatively, so that spelling or typing errors are allowed to stand. The second part is Simes's lexicographical commentary on the material provided by Hartley and Thirty-five, often giving information about the origin of the term, whether it is Australian, whether it is otherwise unrecorded, and so on. The third consists of illustrative quotations (where available) from other texts, mostly from Simes's own files. Some of the material is international underworld slang: hoist `steal,' beak Brit . `magistrate or judge,' chiseller swindler,' dip `pickpocket,' the rap the punishment, blame, etc.', screw Brit . `prison guard.' Some of it is Australian underworld slang: fruit for the sideboard `easy pickings,' tank a `safe,' track `prison warder who carries contraband messages or goods out of or into a prison for a prisoner.' There is much previously unrecorded material: button up `cease betting, or lower one's stakes considerably when one is winning'; kipping `masturbating'; sappho term of endearment used between lesbians, hence derisively addressed to passive homosexuals. There are a few remnants of pig-Latin, as in oofterpa for Poofter `homosexual' and opsca for cops . At times, Thirty-five offers examples of the extended use of this slang, as when describing a theft from a prostitute's client: A smartie will talk his cheese into going to the rubbidy and dudding some pervy old mug into lumbering her. When they both have the tweeds down, the smartie will front up, work the mug over a little for lumbering his missus, and then shoot through with the bint and the mug's willie. Some areas of lexical density reflect the social structure of all-male prisons: most of the terms for women are pejorative, there are numerous terms for heterosexual sex, and an abundance of terms for the penis. In his Preface, Thirty-five argues that the pejorative attitudes towards women derive from the criminal's assessment of every woman according to her eligibility as a mistress (p. 222), whereas Hartley, discussing the use of cunt comments: Probably this latter expression unconsciously carries with it the contempt for femininity that most prisoners & soldiers and others feel when forcibly shut off from the other sex. In this connection it is saddening to observe the slow but certain deteriation [ sic ] in prisoners, some with fine feelings, until their fiancees are spoken of as chromos and their wives as c-nt (p. 161). There is an obsession with homosexuality: cat `passive homosexual,' hock `prisoner who is out to engage in homosexual practices,' honey b-m `passive homosexual,' whitewash someone's kidneys `commit pederasty on.' The glossaries include material which is not specific to the underworld or to prisons. There are terms from general English: make a balls of `muck up, bugger up,' bang `intercourse,' outsider `horse (dog) starting at long odds.' There are general Australian colloquialisms: put the acid on `put the hard word on,' battler `one who struggles (honestly) for a living,' bint `girl,' blot `posterior or anus.' Anyone who has surveyed the special language of a sub-group will be aware of the problem of whether one should include only words specific to the sub-group. Thirty-five obviously feels that these terms which are not specific to the sub-group have assumed a special place in the `argot,' or are used intensively in the underworld or in prison. Hartley is also aware of the issue, and he includes imbecile with the comment: A common term of contempt in gaol, used particularly of the warders. Rhyming slang is a feature of colloquial Australian English, but it appears to have been especially intensive in the underworld and in prisons at this time. A valuable feature of this book is Simes's lengthy introduction devoted to The Literature of Crime and The Language and Lexicography of Crime. Simes traces crime literature from the first beggar-books, the German Die Betrugnisse der Gyler (c. 1450) and Liber Vagatorum (c. 1510), and similar texts from France, Spain, Italy, and England, through the criminal biography, fictionalized accounts of crime and the underworld, and finally the detective novel. An interest in the language and lexicography begins with the earliest texts, which usually include glossaries, or explanations of the special language of beggars, thieves, and so on. Simes gives a full account of these glossaries, and then turns to the development of dictionaries of underworld slang from the 17th century to the present. There is detailed attention to English, American, and Australian material. This survey and its bibliographical material will prove an indispensable guide to any lexicographer interested in underworld slang. The one omission I note in the Autralian material is Marcus Clarke's Sketches of Melbourne Low Life. 4. The Language of Bohemia, which appeared in the Australasian in 1869. This article gives a brief history of underworld slang and an extensive listing of underworld terms in use in Melbourne in the 1860s. The scholarship that has gone into this book is exemplary, and the book will appeal to the general reader as much as to the lexicographer. Bruce Moore The University of New South Wales The Story of Webster's Third At the time of publication of Webster's Third New International Dictionary (1961), commonly referred to as Webster's Third (but in these pages, for the sake of brevity, as MW3 or MWIII ), I was director of the reference department of Random House, preparing what was later to be published as The Random House Dictionary of the English Dictionary - Unabridged Edition . It was therefore entirely inappropriate for me to comment on either the MWIII itself or the furor raised by its critics and supporters. More than three decades later I readily recall my opinions about both at the time, opinions that have changed little over the years: there was no doubt that the MWIII deserved criticism, but those benighted, self-appointed guardians of the language who were heaping vituperative imprecations on the Dictionary (and its editors) were criticizing it for the wrong things. To be sure, I agreedstill agreewith those who believe that the comment about ain't , used orally in most parts of the U.S. by many cultivated speakers esp. in the phrase ain't I , was not reflective of the facts: I knew many cultivated speakers in most parts of the U.S., and the only time I ever heard them say ain't was in jocular contexts or in virtual quotations, like She ain't what she used to be . I must admit that my evidence was entirely impressionistic, but Gove provided no statistical support for his contention, either. My chief criticisms, however, were of a more general nature. The biggest was that Gove had gone his merry way in producing what he considered to be a lexicon of the language but with little thought for those who were to use it: no one could call the MWIII user-friendly (certainly not in 1961, when, as far as I know, the expression had not yet gained currency): 1. HEADWORDS. The practice of entering proper names and adjectives with lower-case initials I found off-putting because they were normally encountered with capitals. To take a random example, there is some question about the accuracy of description of a word like macedonian : it appears in six main entries, the first three of which bear homograph numbers. The first, belonging or relating to Macedonia, has usu cap as does the third, a follower of the bishop Macedonius ...,; but is there substantial enough evidence for these forms being spelled with a lower-case m to warrant such treatment? I doubt it. It is far more likely that the preponderance of evidence would show that an entry with a capital M mightconceivablywarrant a comment like, rarely lower case . Only the second entry, a noun including the senses native[s] or inhabitant[s]; descendant; and language[s], shows cap . Where Gove's researchers came up with such highly detailed information about the distribution of such forms is hard to imagine. Certainly, there is no principle involved in such a distribution. Of the other main entries, macedonian cry or macedonian call, macedonian-persian , and macedonian pine , each shows usu cap . As all of these entries are conventionally capitalized in normal English, it is difficult to fathom the rationale for the treatment, and 5 CAPITALIZATION , in the Explanatory Notes, reveals nothing useful. 2. PRONUNCIATIONS. Another area of confusion for the user is the treatment of pronunciation. While it must be acknowledged that pronunciations occupy a great deal of spaceowing largely to the dialectal variants and the precision with which they are representedmost American dictionaries are satisfied to show major (American) dialect differences and to rely on detailed variants to be the product of a judiciously selected key word in the pronunciation key (a subject I do not have the space to go into here). But the entry for investiture in MWIII shows, for example: \-t\?\\?\ch\?\(\?\)r, -,ch\?\ , -,ch\?\(r), -t\?\\?\t\?\, t\?\\?\ty\?\-\ [I think that the inferior dash beginning the third pronunciation must be an error.] Counting the internal variations, that is seven variants merely for the last two syllables of the word: to see how the first two are pronounced, one must go to the preceding entry, investitive . It does not get any better, either. If you want to know how to pronounce homozygote , all that is given is \+\, which is not only cryptically unhelpful, but means that the user has to filter back five columns to see how homo-words are pronounced, then on to zygote to see how that is pronounced. In other manifestations of this curious, cumbersome style are nouak.chott \\?\nwk\?\sht, n\?\w-, -sh\?\, (=\?\)=\?\=\ sad.du.ce.an \|==|s\?\n\. Such information might be appropriate to a reference work for phoneticians, dialectologists, and other linguists, but its usefulness and meaningfulness in a dictionary for ordinary dictionary users is not immediately apparent. [Let me clarify what I take to be user-friendly in a dictionary: most users pick up a dictionary occasionally to check a spelling, pronunciation, definition, etymology, or other information (like usage and synonymy). For some, occasionally means several times a year; for a few, it means several times a week. One can hardly expect to become steeped in the recondite style of a dictionary in such brief encounters, especially since they might well be for entirely different purposes. Thus it is user-unfriendly of a dictionaryany reference book, in factto exhibit a style so involved as to be virtually unassimilable save by a dedicated, experienced few: except for the arcana, dictionary style should be revealed transparently to anyone picking up the book, and no one should be required to take a course in dictionary navigation or to spend half an hour adjusting his eyes to read reams of six-point type.] 3. DEFINITIONS. One of the most difficult areas to assess in a dictionary is the quality of its definitions. Several philosophies of defining prevailnot too abstruse to go into in VERBATIM, but a not entirely appropriate aside hereand the style cleaved to by Gove attempts an approach that is progressively restrictive or expansive, depending on the nature of the word defined. It works much of the time, particularly for highly denotative ostensive objects; but it creates ludicrous results when applied to simple things. One of the examples frequently cited of the worst reflexes of the style can be seen in the main definition of door : 1 a: a movable piece of firm material or a structure supported usu. along one side and swinging on pivots or hinges, sliding along a groove, rolling up and down, revolving as one of four leaves, or folding like an accordion by means of which an opening may be closed or kept open for passage in or out of a building, room, or other covered enclosure or a car, airplane, elevator, or other vehicle.. b: a similar part by which access is prevented or allowed to the contents of a repository, cabinet, vault, or refrigeration or combustion chamber It is not difficult to understand how such a definition could be constructed from a collection of citation slips; what is hard to see is how, once it was written, someone who had any sensitivity for English style and communication could have let it get into print. Another example occurs at hotel : 2 a: a house licensed to provide lodging and usu. meals, entertainment, and various personal services for the public : INN b: a building of many rooms chiefly for overnight accommodation of transients and several floors served by elevators, usu. with a large open street-level lobby containing easy chairs, with a variety of compartments for eating, drinking, dancing, exhibitions, and group meetings (as of salesmen or convention attendants), with shops having both inside and street-side entrances and offering for sale items (as clothes, gifts, candy, theater tickets, travel tickets) of particular interest to a traveler, or providing personal services (as hairdressing, shoe shining), and with telephone booths, writing tables, and washrooms freely available One is tempted to comment on further amenities (e.g., free parking, porters to carry one's luggage, B-girls, hookers, house detectives) and on further restrictions (there are few hotels in large cities that make washrooms freely available even to hotel guests outside their rooms, lest some wretch needing to use the facility wander in off the street); but would anyone insist that the presence of shops be restrictively incorporated in the definition of hotel ?; would a native speaker of English refer to restaurants and other public rooms as compartments for eating, drinking, dancing, etc.? Indeed, there is no definition of compartment in the MWIII that fits the sense to which it is stretched in the definition of hotel . I could go on (and on) with other criticisms, but the purpose of this essay is to review Herbert Morton's book, not the MWIII , regardless of temptation. In general, Morton tells the story of Noah Webster and his legatees in a straightforward, sympathetic, but not entirely unbiased manner. To be sure, the facts are present, awry in only once instance, which I shall come to later. In most cases, it would be difficult, without substantial knowledge, to confute some of the information presented. I knew Govenot well, I hasten to say, but, from Morton's account, neither did anyone else. I found him a rather dour, lugubrious individual, and even the author of Webster's Third finds it difficult to recount many tales exemplifying his humanity, any a sense of humor. If sobersidedness make not an attractive man, it certainly need not have affected Gove's proficiencies as a lexicographer. But G. & C. Merriam (as the company was then styled) was not Philip Gove, and some of the less savory practices of that organization's salesmen during the late 1950salways vigorously denied as company policy by executivesinevitably rubbed off on those who one hopes were innocent of such activities. Morton's history of the company is probably reasonably accurate, though one should note that its sources could scarcely be said to be unbiased, most being company records and either present or former employees. All the complimentary critiques are well attended and quoted; the adverse are given equal time, as it were, but not treated with much respect. As I suggested above, they should not be paid much heed, being either the result of misconception, ignorance, lack of understanding, just plain bigotry and prejudice, orsurely later on during the dictionary controversy of the 1960sthe mere business of parroting others' Webster -bashing. Were I accorded the space allowed the author of Webster's Third to argue each point with which I take issue, this would not be a review but another book, and I have rambled from the main purpose already. Yet, there is one bald misstatement of fact in the book that cannot go unassailed. Morton writes: Especially noteworthy was the 1972 International Conference on Lexicography in English, a landmark event that attracted foreign as well as American scholars and practitioners. Organized by Raven I. McDavid, Jr., and Audrey R. Duckert, the conference was held June 5-7, 1972, in New York City. The proceedings were published in the Annals of the New York Academy of Sciences 211 (1973). The origins of the conference are described in McDavid's opening remarks. Gove did not participate in the planning or appear on the program, although two of his colleagues gave papers, Woolf on defining and Artin on pronunciation. Originally proposed by James Sledd in 1968, the conference was organized by Raven I. McDavid, Jr. In the Opening Remarks referred to, Raven McDavid did not actually give Sledd credit for suggesting the subject conference but the idea, of another one. McDavid's further description of the origins of the New York Academy of Sciences [NYAS] conference are a curate's egg of fact: the facts remain as recorded (I trust) in the files of the NYAS, to wit: In the mid 1960s, as a member of the NYAS (and, as far as I know, the only person associated with the conference who was a member before, during, and after it), I approached the Executive Director of the NYAS, Eunice Thomas Miner, suggesting a conference on lexicography in English. At that time, there was no recognition in the Academy of the existence of linguistics, which fell somewhere among the various psychology and sociology stools. I was turned down, but not entirely discouraged, and decided to return to the fray several years later, when I had more time. I approached the Academy again after leaving Random House, in 1969, and, the climate and directorship having changed, received more encouragement. Still, it was made clear to me that because I was not on the staff of a college or university, I should have to find someone who was and who would support my case. I got in touch with Frederic G. Cassidy, of the University of Wisconsin, now widely known as the editor of the Dictionary of American Regional English , whom I had known in the early 1940s. Cassidy came to New York and met with the board (and me). It subsequently developed that he was too busy to take on the burdens of the chairmanship of the conference but suggested McDavid, whom I knew, as I had engaged him in the early 1960s as a consultant to the Random House Dictionary . McDavid agreed to become involved, came to New York, and brought Audrey Duckert (of Amherst, Massachusetts) into the picture as his associate. Thereafter, I worked closely with the NYAS to gain the participation of linguists and lexicographers in the United States and abroad and to further the purpose of the conference. In McDavid's Opening Remarks he refers to some of my (later) work in these words: The committee of the Present-Day English Section of the Modern Language Association] then coopted Mr. Laurence Urdang, a professional lexicographer and the envoy to the Academy of the other group; he had been particularly helpful with practical suggestions, and in getting financial support from publishers.... To ...Mr. Urdang goes credit for negotiating with the Academy.... Notwithstanding, my claim to prior inspiration remains. Also, considering that the costs of the conference were borne almost entirely by the NYAS (with contributions from the Center for Applied Linguistics, G. & C. Merriam Company, Holt, Rinehart & Winston of Canada, Limited, Laurence Urdang Inc., Longman Group Limited, Scott Foresman and Company, and Wm. Collins Sons & Co. Ltd.), McDavid's casual reference to the Academy's organizational and other help, while not atypical, is a bit of a low blow. None of this has much to do with Webster's Third , the book or the dictionary, and I should say that anyone who has an interest in the documentation of such things would be well served to obtain a copy of it (the book); it is well written and interestingly set forth. Considering its subject matter, one should more surprised at its occasional even-handedness than shocked at its bias. Laurence Urdang Organized by Raven I. McDavid, Jr., and Audrey R. Duckert, the conference was held June 5-7, 1972, in New York City. The proceedings were published in the Annals of the New York Academy of Sciences 211 (1973). The origins of the conference are described in McDavid's opening remarks. Gove did not participate in the planning or appear on the program, although two of his colleagues gave papers, Woolf on defining and Artin on pronunciation. The New Shorter Oxford English Dictionary on Historical Principles First, let us look at the statistics (as presented on the back of the dustjacket of the New Shorter [NSOED ]): 500,000 definitions; 96,600 headwords; 7.5 million words; 25,250 variant spellings; 83,000 illustrative quotations; 7300 sources of quotations (including VERBATIM and 5900 individual authors, among which appears the name of your proud editor). American dictionaries based their counts on entries, a generously defined, arbitrarily artificial term cooked up between the G. & C. Merriam Company and the US Treasury Department during the 1930s (when that governmental department was responsible for purchasing, a function now performed by the General Services Administration). An entry in US commercial dictionary parlance means every headword (that is, main entry set flush left, often in larger boldface type); every inflected form; every run-on entry (the self-evident boldface words consisting of the headword plus a productive ending like - tion , - ly , - ness , etc.); list words (those beginning with a common prefix of transparent meaning like inter -, re -, un -, etc., that are merely listed at their approximate alphabetical place, without definitions or other lexicographical information); every variant (counted only once); and every change in a part of speech. In a typical college dictionary, which might have, say, 85,000 headwords the entry count (which is prominently displayed in the jacket blurbs) is about twice that, or 170,000. In the US, publishers do not generally advertise the number of definitions in their dictionaries but flaunt their entry counts. At a rough guess, the NSOED contains about 200,000 such entries, or some twenty per cent fewer than the Random House Unabridged [ RHDU ], the popular dictionary nearest in size. It must be stressed, however, that although the NSOED might include fewer headwordsit has no biographical and geographical entries, for exampleit generally accords each entry fuller treatment. There are, as we shall see, other differences; but on the most superficial level one might observe that the NSOED offers more information about fewer words, which may well prove an enticement to those who already have a largish dictionary (even the RHDU ). Although the Preface describes the content and provenance of this new edition, it is disappointing that no statement of purpose, no fundamental linguistic or lexicographic principle is anywhere set forth. Reference is made to the OED , of course, but the present work could scarcely be said to reflect the same philosophies. Notable is the term illustrative , used to describe the quotations accompanying the definitions: aside from their mixed success in serving to illustrate, quotations served a somewhat different purpose in the OED (and, indeed, in their application in some other dictionaries): they were the source matrix from which the definitions were derived. It is worth reminding ourselves that the NSOED is a British dictionary, although that might not be a particularly intrusive factor in its use, for variant spellings have been given ample coverage. But it does affect the pronunciations, which, given in the symbols of the International Phonetic Alphabet, are (as usual for British dictionaries) for the prestige dialect called Received Pronunciation [ RP ]. In RP, Athanasian is pronounced /a\?\n/, while Americans would pronounce the final syllable /\?\/; curiously, that is shown as a variant pronunciation under Asian, Asiarch, and Asiatic, and it is hard to see why it was omitted from Athanasian ; perhaps the NSOED editors have the inside skinny (a sense that is in, along with solid coverage of other neologisms, slang and standard). It is not made clear why the standard IPA transcriptions [ai] or [ai] was not used for the vowel sound in I, why, might , etc.: the NSOED shows /\?\/. As in other British dictionaries, headwords are not syllabified, so one cannot use dictionaries in England to determine where a word may be conventionally hyphenated. Typesetters in England seem to know that the words Eng-land and Eng-lish are so hyphenated, a practice that has eluded many American compositors and proofreaders, including those working for some of the best publishers. In the early 1970s. I devised what I thought was a useful system for showing syllabification of boldface words in the Collins English Dictionary: places where hyphens could occur were marked by a tiny plus sign (except for spelling hyphens, which always permitted end-of-line hyphens); places that marked syllable breaks but where hyphenation was avoided, were marked by a centered dot: pity, city, mother-in-law, etc. pho+ne+mics, de+ter+mi+na+tion, in+ter+city, etc. The Collins is a British dictionary, but, despite the fact that some compositors clambered over one another to acquire the computerized lists of such words showing the breaks, others paid the information little heedparticularly Collins Publishers and the marks were omitted entirely from the Second Edition of their dictionary. Preferred American convention is, naturally, not reflected in the text of entries: British spelling obtains. But the preferred American convention of writing as two words an adverb-adjective combination when the adverb ends in - ly is also violated: British practice calls for widely-spread, closelyrelated (which appear under Athapaskan ), while standard practice in the US would write these as two words, hyphenating only modifying adverbs not ending in - ly : well-known, well-thought-of, easygoing . (These rules change if the combination appears in predicative position.) Elsewhere, Briticisms might be felt to intrude in definitions, with words like dustman, dock-porter , etc., appearing here and there. Differences of a more serious nature occur when definers use words less familiar than the entry being defined: roasting-jack for mechanical spit; tenuity for thinness; invest for award are a few examples. Not all US variants are entered; for example, greenkeeper is an entry, but greenskeeper , the American form, is nowhere to be found. As mentioned, the pronunciations are British: the variant pronunciation of controversy , in which the stress is on the (shortened) second syllable, is shown, but that is not heard in the US; neither is the given pronunciation of intermediary , which ends \?\ in BE but /\?\/ in AE. Although there are r -dropping dialects in AE, they do not predominate, as in BE \?\, etc. for card . The common BE pronunciation of respite is /\?\resp\?\t/, one not commonly heard in AEin fact, one that smacks of a spelling pronunciation to an AE speaker; the pronunciation /\?\resp\?\t/, standard in AE, is only a variant in BE (but one I have never heard). Emphasis in definitions seems sometimes askew: interloper ... 2 A person who meddles in another's business (esp. for profit); an intruder. The problem here is in the use of business : in a definition, one would expect the literal sense, not the (more colloquial) sense of `affairs' as met with in mind your own business, none of your business , etc. Yet if one applies that criterion, the definition is too narrow, particularly with the emphasized mention of profit), and it would have been more accurate to have put the general sense, an intruder, first. It must be noted that definitions are ordered historically (as the title of the NSOED implies), not by frequency. Thus, the first definition of interlude refers to a short dramatic piece performed between the acts of the miracle plays, and the common modern sense of `interval' is not met with till definition 2. That is merely a factmany American dictionaries follow the same theme, notably, the MWIII . Were space available, many other strengths and weaknesses of the NSOED could be enumerated in detail; but it would be more useful to offer an overall assessment and to suggest where this dictionary might fit into a library, personal or institutional. The NSOED is an impressive, extremely usable dictionary for those sophisticated enough to know how to use it, by which I mean not only Americans: those who have an earlier edition would be well served to replace it with this one. Also, the preceding comments leveled against coverage of American English should in no way affect those who care little about how Americans use the language, for, in many respects, the NSOED is simply a superior dictionary. I must express a prejudice, however, for the benefit of all who have a personal computer with a CD-ROM and who have the wherewithal to acquire the OED2e on CD-ROM: there is nothing like it in terms of ease of access, speed, convenience (as compared with hoisting one or more volumes of the OED2e or NSOED every time one wants to look something up). For casual use, it would be extravagant to go to such an expense; but for anyone who does even the most informal research into the lexicon of English, the CD-ROM version is essential and indispensable: certainly, no library in the world has any excuse for not having it. The problems of binding a 3800-page book are formidable, but it can be done, and I believe that OUP customers would have been better served by being offered a one-volume edition (perhaps with a needed lectern of its own), enabling the NSOED to compete more readily with the other main contenders among large dictionaries, the MWIII and the Random House Unabridged . Laurence Urdang A father who underwent a sex change no longer has to wear male clothes to visit her son. [From The (Montreal) Gazette , n.d. Submitted by .] One of nine women will get breast cancer as well as many men. [From the Los Angeles Times , , page E7. Submitted by .] Swinging, Swaling, Swedging In his poem, Birches , Robert Frost describes a custom among country boys of climbing birch trees to the very crown, so high the tree can no longer support them but bends over submissively and lowers them to the ground. Frost calls this custom swinging birches , and the one who practises it, a swinger of birches . Though the custom was not universal, back in the days when youngsters still invented their own entertainments, enough of them swung the limber birches for it to be a common pastime. I even have found a Ukrainian native who remembered swinging birches. But being widespread, the game apparently earned other names depending on locality. In the rural Rhode Island towns of Foster and Glocester (Providence County) two other names for the pastime have surfaced. Asked if he had ever climbed the trees and let them return him to the earth, John Holdsworth of Foster exclaimed, Oh, I've swaled hundreds of `em. Swaled? Another oldtimer, Henry Hawkins of Glocester likewise speaks of swaling birches, adding that it did not always work out as one hoped it would: sometimes the 15-20-foot gray birch would tip part way down only to falter, leaving the climber dangling halfway, a predicament, indeed. There is no going back. As a noun, swale rolls off the tongues of countrymen frequently enough, and means a `tract of wet ground,' as in the geological term describing rolling prairies that have swells and swales. But swale as a verb harks back to English usage of an early age. The OED2e suggests Shropshire as the source of the verb, and it cites an 1863 quotation that bears out our meaning: The great plumed hat flapped and swaled over my eyes. As if that were not variation enough, another Glocester dweller, Walter Battey, refers to this custom as swedging birches . Swedge? I recognized the verb swedge as meaning `bend or spread left and right the teeth of a handsaw that had become too straight through much use, and hence caused the saw to bind.' A tool called a swedge soon remedies this ailment. The term swedging a birch thus seems to have sprung from this bending action. Such are the imaginative borrowings of the English language. OED2e lists swedge as a variant of swage and suggests that swage , in turn, is an early form of swag a `swaying or lurching motion.' In support, the dictionary offers this quotation dating circa 1530: that the fruit may not ... disfigure the Tree by swagging it down with weight. Do these obscure verbs, swale, and swedge , have a future? Only time will tell, or only as long as youngsters swing, swale, or swedge birches. Objectively Speaking I had been cruising the club for less than an hour when I bumped into Roger. After exchanging a few pleasantries, he lowered his voice and asked, What do you think of Martha and I as a potential twosome? That, I replied, would be a mistake. Martha and me is more like it. Oh? You're interested in Martha? I'm interested in clear communication. Fair and square, he agreed. And may the best man win. Then he added, with a sigh: Here I thought we had a clear path to becoming a very unique couple. You couldn't be a very unique couple, Roger. Oh? And why is that? Martha couldn't be a little pregnant, could she? Say what? You think that Martha and me... Martha and I. Oh. Roger blushed and set down his drink. Gee, I didn't know. Of course you didn't, I assured him. Most people don't. I feel very badly about this. You shouldn't say that. I feel bad ... Hooray, Roger! Martha herself wafted towards us. Seeing you, the evening gets interesting. She rested a hand on his shoulder. Who have you two been gossiping about, hm? They were obviously well-matched. I excused myself at once, left Roger in Cupid's hands and went over to check out another participle I'd noticed dangling by the bar. On my way there, however, I was charmed by a collective noun (foreign, I thought) having a singularly bad time in the middle of the dance floor with a profoundly intransitive verb. Pardonmay I cut in? Her partner looked past tense, indeed, completely overwrought, and gratefully stood aside. At first, the lady met my preposition with declension, but in a short time we were conjugating magnificently, even recklessly. Ooh, you are the definite article, she sighed. Dvandva, I whispered, knowing that she would understand. It was pluperfectuntil I signaled for her bill. When the matre d' brought it over, I nearly split an infinitive: the syntax alone was astronomical! The hijacker hid a pistol in his hat that only fires blanks. [From New York Newsday , . Submitted by .] Classic Problem Typical among the words over which purists agonize, Fowler-type authorities dither, and about which lexicographers write usage notes are the classic/classical pair. As in most such cases, the question is easily answered by looking up the definitions of the words in a dictionary substantial enough to offer example contexts. The problem, as in most usage matters, is that those who fail to distinguish between classic and classical, infer and imply, like and as , etc., are blissfully unaware that any question exists: consequently, not being unsure of anything, they never bother to check. One is moved to suggest that it is the responsibility of teachers of English to implant in the subconsciouses of their students a soupon of suspicion that there might be something questionable about a number of words and constructions in the language. These days one despairs of the teachers, for they, too, seem totally oblivious to style and traditional practice. This is borne out by a Sunday Times article [13 March 1994] about a survey showing that fewer than half of entrants to university were capable of identifying to which part of speech words in a handful of very simple sentences belonged. The classic/classical distinction has become manifest in Britain with the recent establishment of a new radio station, Classic FM. Radio 3, the longstanding BBC station that has broadcast classical music for many years, has not been replaced by this commercial parvenu, but it should be noted that Radio 3 broadcasts classical music, while the new station is engaged in a different enterprise. Not only is Classic music not always classical, but there is an utter lack of sensitivity in the selection of music played: Anitra's Dance could well be preceded by Schoenberg and followed by Scarlatti or O Sole Mio sung by Tagliavini. One night, I tuned in and heard an extraordinarily cacophonous piece that sounded like souls groaning in hell alternating with dissonant organ music; as I could not believe what I was hearing, I continued to listen; I was tortured for about half an hour but persisted, as I wanted to hear the title in order to make certain that I would switch off if anyone ever threatened to play it again. Unfortunately, I have forgotten the title (and composer), but a reader might recognize it from my reasonably accurate description. Radio stations that play classical music might be criticized for allowing Telemann to be segued by Tchaikovsky, but that is, surely, a sophisticated criticism. This listener's knowledge of and taste in classical music is not very sophisticated, but the sequences broadcast by Classic FM serve to demonstrate the worst features of the differences between classical and classic . Yet, perhaps predictably for those who have a cynical view of public taste, a recent [March 1994] newspaper report reveals that Classic FM has a regular weekly audience nearly two million greater than that of Radio 3. While on the subject of British radio, about a year ago, the radio station Jazz FM was establishd in London, purportedly to play Jazz morning, noon, and night. From the music played, it would appear that all music not classifiable as classical is considered to be Jazz, requiring a new definition of jazz to be considered by (British) lexiographers. While she won't admit it, [the character] clearly is a woman in denial. [From a play review in The Berkshire Eagle , . Submitted by .] `Me and another student got up and started teach ing class ourselves,' [Sandra] Baker said of a business English class in which she said the instructor missed three weeks of classes. [From the Chicago Sun-Times , , page 14. Submitted by .] Volunteers must take 48 hours of sexual assault training. [From the San Bernardino Sun , . Submitted by .] ETYMOLOGICA OBSCURA The Origin of llama [VERBATIM XX, 3, 16] On Lima's (Peru) main square stands an equestrian statue of General San Martin. Sculpted into its pedestal is, inter alia , the figure of a woman holding a torch. But the torch does not emit a flame: instead a surprising little llama stands on its tip. My theory for this oddity is that the artist misunderstood his commission; in Spanish llama means flame, while in Quechua it is the name of the furry beast. A Primrose by any Other Name... The spring flower we call the primrose ( Primula vulgaris ) is native to Britain and presumably has had English names as long as the language has been spoken in the British Isles. However, primrose is a relatively recent name for the flower, being first recorded only in the 15th century, and no Old English name for it is known. It is possible that before the 15th century both the primrose and the cowslip ( Primula veris ) were regarded as one and the same and called cowslips [Old English cuslippe ]. Since where the two species grow near to each other they hybridize freely giving rise to intermediate forms, the need for two names might not have been apparent in earlier times. The word primrose is often believed to be derived from the Latin prima rose `first rose.' There is, however, an alternative derivation, since, in Middle English, earlier than the first record of primrose , the plant was known as primerole or saynt peterworte. Primerole probably derives from the Old French primier `first,' with the diminutive suffix - ole , implying smallness. The remarkable ability of most species of Primula to hybridize with ease whenever they meet has further confused the English names of the primrose and its close relatives. The hybrid between the primrose and the cowslip ( Primula veris x vulgaris , sometimes called Primula variabilis ) is known as the oxlip . Usually it is called the common oxlip because it occurs quite frequently, but purists prefer to call it the false oxlip since there is a third species, Primula elatior , now found only in the eastern counties of England, which is, for them, the true oxlip . To add to the confusion the true oxlip is also known as the paigle , a name which, in the past, has been rather indiscriminately applied to several wildflowers including buttercups. In some country areas of England paigle (or pagle , or pagyll ) is still the local name for the cowslip. It may be derived from the Old English paegle or paegel `winecup.' This would be most appropriate, since around the time paigle came into use cowslip blooms were used to make a very popular country wine. Shakespeare knew of primroses ( Cymbeline ), cowslips ( The Tempest ), and oxlips ( The Winter's Tale ), and presumably the difference between them although there seems to be no way of knowing which oxlip he meant. Wordsworth was, perhaps, less well informed when in his Peter Bell he wrote: A primrose by a river's brim A yellow primrose was to him, And it was nothing more. It might have been a primrose, although they usually grow in woods and under hedges. A cowslip is rather more likely since they grow in meadows or, of course, it could have been an oxlip. Peter Bell should have taken a closer look. The Endangered English Dictionary: Bodacious Words Your Dictionary Forgot David Grambs's name should be known to word buffs, for he has written several booksthis is his sixthabout the English language. He has been active in lexicography for a number of years, originally on The American Heritage Dictionary , more recently on The Random House (Unabridged) Dictionary, Second Edition . This book, the title of which suggests that it might deal with dictionaries, is a dictionary of difficult, unusual, often obscure, obsolete words, a combination of Poplollies and Bellibones , by Mrs. Heifetz, and The New York Times Everyday Reader's Dictionary of Misunderstood ... Words , by this reviewer (recently published in a revised, British edition by Bloomsbury under the title, Dictionary of Difficult Words [plug, in case you missed it]). Both kinds of books have been around for many years: indeed, the latter type preceded general dictionaries that treat the broad spectrum of the English lexicon, for it was thought unnecessary to provide definitions and other information about words familiar to anyone who spoke English. Nowadays, of course, it is felt that a general dictionary ought to describe the lexicon of the language (as far as space permits), which is why modern dictionaries devote so much space to entries for words like the, a, and, run, jump , and play . The entries in Endangered can be divided roughly into two classes: those one knows and those one does not. Among the latter are some engaging terms that word lovers are likely to add to their writing (or drop into casual cocktail-party conversations), and, in some instances, might actually fill a need. My favorites among these, which are not found in the present work, are tally and leman , which mean a `person with whom one cohabits without benefit of matrimony.' The struggle that spawned POSSLQ, significant other, partner , and other miscegenations and ennuiisms could have been avoided by resurrecting these terms, though leman , owing to its - man ending, might not make it through the stultifying morass of today's political correctness. Many of the rare words in the book are synonyms that have dropped out of the language for one reason or another, the main one being that they were not used. For many, it might be impossible to find evidence for their existence outside the single quotation in the OED or similar source, and they might have been nonce coinages. Their rarity is attributable to what linguists refer to as the economy of language , which is akin to the physical law stating that two objects cannot occupy the same space at the same time. Most of the time, two (or more) words that appear to be pure synonyms semantically tend to diverge in application or distribution (e.g., windpipe/trachea ), in frequency (e.g., niveous/ snowy, lutaceous/muddy ), or in connotation ( maternal/motherly ). [This matter is discussed at some length in the Introduction to my Oxford Thesaurus .] Notwithstanding, many people derive enjoyment from wallowing in peculiar, curious, and unfamiliar words, which often provide a source of amusement. The selection of such words is likely to be personal, reflecting the tastes and proclivities of the compiler, hence one is hard put to quarrel with the choices. These and other factors are well set forth by the author in his Preface. It is important to mention that all words in Endangered are pronounced (using the Moo Goo Gai Pan system), all are accorded succinct, clear definitions, and all are provided with example contexts. In the last hundred pages of Endangered an attempt is made at a reverse dictionary, yielding a more or less elaborate index to the dictionary section. Such reverse dictionaries as exist ( Bernstein's Reverse Dictionary having been a popular example for many years) work well for those users whose word sense coincides with that of the compiler. Ted Bernstein's book never worked well for me, but I might not be a fair touchstone in such matters. In Grambs's book, the single-word synonyms work fairly well, but, as elsewhere, the system breaks down when trying to anticipate where a user ought to look to find a word: not everyone is likely to choose the same reverse concept. The problem has been anticipated by using more than one synonym and by providing entries under both. For example, laziness or sluggishness : SEGNITY appears both under laziness and sluggishness; thick-lipped: LABROSE appears also under lips, having thick . Still, no system could work perfectly for all users. Those who enjoy word playwhich includes certain puzzle solvers who seem to need all the help they can find that is not already provided by dictionaries, special puzzlers' reference books, thesauruses, etc.should find Endangered a useful, welcome addition to their libraries. Those who simply harbor an abiding affection for the language and like having fun with it will want to acquire the book for delectable browsing. Laurence Urdang Medical Consultant ... in a growing company which manages medical malpractice. [From an employment ad of Risk Management Foundation of the Harvard Medical Institutions, Inc., in the Boston Globe , . Submitted by .] Answers to Anglo-American Crossword No. 67 There was an error in the diagram for Puzzle No. 67, for which we apologize: the blocking square in the middle of 17 down should be moved one square to the left. Jam Pass Die Jam pass die, monkey chop peppeh Cameroon Pidgin Saying [Literally, In dire straits, a monkey will even eat chillies or Anything will do in an emergency.] Pidgin English is spoken by millions of people all over the Third World. There are many varieties, but they are all most expressive and entertaining. The most publicized is probably Tok Pisin, the pidgin of Papua New Guinea. This has developed into a language in its own right. One of the country's weekly newspapers, Wantok , is published entirely in Tok Pisin, and there are daily radio programs in it,. Attempts have even been made to introduce the works of Shakespeare to the masses by translating them into Tok Pisin. No one who has ever seen the Bard's immortal words, I come to bury Caesar..., reduced to Mi kam tasol long plantim Kaesar ... can be expected to take Shakespeare too seriously again. And a Tok Pisin version of Little Red Riding Hood, told me some years ago by an old China Sea sailor, remains to this day one of the most hilarious monologues I have ever heard. Tok Pisin does not stand on ceremony, either. Even the formidable Duke of Edinburgh was heard to remark ruefully on an official visit to Papua New Guinea that it was very difficult to maintain a stiff upper lip when one was constantly being introduced as Whitefella Blongum Kween. But it is Coast Pidgin with which I am most familiar. This is the lingua franca of West Africa. I worked as a forester on The Coast for thirty years, so I suppose I had more time than most to become fluent in the language. Here, too, there are subtle differences from one country to another both in the spoken word and in the written word, from the phonetic Krio of Sierra Leone and Liberia to the more straightforward pidgins of Nigeria and Cameroon. But, whatever its background, pidgin remains colorful and, often, onomatopoetic. In Coast Pidgin mud becomes putta-putta and noise becomes wahallah . A phrase like I have been involved in an accident becomes, graphically, I dun fukkup . One's outrage over some disastrous contretemps is alleviated somewhat by the culprit's risible attempts to explain away the circumstances of his crime in pidgin. I had in my employ, for a mercifully brief period, an ancient caretaker called Sixpence. Sixpence's main claim to fame was that, as a very young lad living in Cameroon, he had been employed by the celebrated Mary Kingsley as a houseboy. His relationship with the renowned traveler had ended in some acrimony after just eight hours, during which time Sixpence had managed to consign the whole of her insect collection (painstakingly accumulated for the British Museum) to the bonfire which he had lit in the compound outside her chalet for the express purpose of burning the rubbish from within it. This was the day on which Sixpence's innocence had come to an end, and Miss Kingsley's sulfurous expertise with the English language had remained indelibly etched in his memory all his life. Sixpence's eyesight was failing badly when we first met, and he was disaster-prone. Gas cooking had just been introduced to the European houses in the area at the time I hired him, and Sixpence, I was soon to find out, had much to learn about the dangers of gas cylinders. I was walking up the path one day when a colossal explosion rent Africa asunder and a large part of my house fell down before my eyes. I stumbled through the dust and the ruins to find Sixpence, dazed but miraculously unscathed, sitting amidst the debris. Na some kine ting meka na WHISSSSH lika na shanake foh one dahk konna, he explained aggrieved, I go put fiah mek I look am gooh. Den de whole forking place go jakarah. [A slightly bowdlerized translation might read: I heard a sound which I took to be the hiss of a snake emanating from a dark corner. I lit a match in an endeavor to locate the reptile. Then the whole deuced building disintegrated.] Pidgin loses much of its character when written, and it is a sad fact that both the writing and the speaking of it is discouraged today in many of West Africa's more modern schools for much the same reason, I suppose, that I remember many years ago being made to feel an outcast for having Gaelic as my mother tongue in an English-speaking school in my native Scotland. One would hope that the evocative pidgin will be kept alive. If it is, it will be due in no small part to the efforts of a few of the older missionaries in the hinterland. I am not, alas, of their faith, but I had to admire the command these old-timers had of tribal languages in general and of pidgin in particular. It was from one of those missionaries that I obtained a copy of Genesis in pidgin English. It was a version still being used in churches in parts of Nigeria and Cameroon when I was there: For de furs time nutting been dey. Only de Lawd na He dey. An de Lawd He dun go wakka hard for meka dis ting dem de call Eart. For six day de Lawd He wakka an He dun mek all ting--everything He go put for Eart. Plenty beef, plenty cassava, plenty banana, plenty yam, plenty guinea-corn, plenty mango, plenty groundnut--everything. An for de wata He put plenty fish, an for de air He put plenty kind bird. After six day de Lawd He dun go saleep. An when He saleep, plenty palava start for dis place wey dem call Hebben. Dis Hebben na de place wey we go lib after we dun die if we no do so-so bad ting for dis Eart. De angeli lib for Hebben an play banjo an get plenty fine chop an plenty palm wine. De headman for dem angeli, dem de callam Gabriel, he dey dere when dis palava begin for Hebben. Dere be plenty humbug by one bad angeli, dem de callam Lucifer. An Gabriel he catch Lucifer an he beat am ploppa an palava finish one time... One is almost tempted to remark, Eat your heart out, Billy Graham! There is no doubt in my mind that, without pidgin, West Africa would be the poorer. It is a language of humor and it can lighten the darkest of moments. I have rarely known a situation so bad that a few words of pidgin could not make it seem a little brighter. It was the height of the African rainy season and I had hitched a ride with an old Dutch missionary to a ceremony several hundred miles away to which we had both been invited. The roads were a sea of mud and now, with night approaching, we were stuck, finally and irrevocably, in the middle of the rainforest. The river in front of us thundered over the road where just the day before a wooden bridge had spanned it. Behind us, a colossal tree had fallen across the road, effectively blocking our retreat. We had not eaten since morning, and the chances of our doing so in the next twelve hours looked slim indeed. A troupe of chimpanzees emerged from the forest beyond the river. They were the wettest looking monkeys I had ever seen. They stopped and stared at us, then began a chorus of hooting noises that echoed out through the treetops. I swear that they were laughing at us. No food for us this night, Father, I said sorrowfully. In fact, at this rate we'll be lucky to eat before Christmas! He did not reply immediately. He was ferreting around behind the car seat. He hauled out a disreputable-looking traveling bag and rummaged inside. I caught glimpses of a white soutane, some underpants, a string of rosary beads, a big black Bible. Finally, he unearthed what he was looking for. He removed the cork and handed the bottle to me. The twinkle was back in his wise old eyes. Jam pass die, he said. Monkey chop peppeh. I took a long, long pull at Scotland's finest. I felt it kindle heavenly fires within me right down to the soles of my boots. Suddenly, Africa did not seem so wet and muddy and dreary after all. I handed the amber nectar back to the Reverend Father. The old man raised the bottle to his lips and we watched as the chimps scurried silently, one behind the other, back into the sodden forest. Yes, Father, I replied with quiet satisfaction. Monkey chop peppeh, indeed! The Day They Took the Peck out of Pecksniffian Erskine Caldwell must have felt that one lexical epoch was enough for him. He stayed with the same old Webster's New Collegiate Dictionary he began with; when it threatened to come apart he would have it rebound. As a contributor to the language and one whose writings were confined to a snapshot of time and people, Caldwell could well afford to stand pat. As a mere word user, I must keep up with the times. Every twenty years or so I upgrade my dictionary. It was in that spirit of personal progress that I replaced my Webster's Seventh New Collegiate Dictionary with the Ninth. Upgrading is a pain; decades of accumulated notes, highlights, and cross-reference jottings must be transferred to the sterile new edition. Things were going fine until I got to the word Pecksniffian . It was still there, but the definition had been cleansed of its contemptible meaning and made tolerably benign. After entering the proper definition in the margin, Selfish and corrupt behind a display of seeming benevolence, I sat down to decipher the new version: unctuously hypocritical. That is about as easy to embrace as a wet eel, about as useful as a punctured balloon. Describing a Pecksniffian scoundrel as merely hypocritically hypocritical implies that something can indeed be less than nothing, as that theory was catechized by Wilbur the pig in Charlotte's Web . Charles Dickens' character, Seth Pecksniff, made his debut about the time the YMCA was founded, only a few years before P.T. Barnum introduced us to the Swedish Nightingale, Jenny Lind. As words go, Pecksniffian is a youngster. The word Calvinism was coined in Vasco da Gama's day, and during the four centuries since has been left pretty much alone. Seth Pecksniff could no more undergo a post-mortem metamorphosis than John Calvin. Dickens certainly was not wishy-washy when it came to developing characters, and Seth Pecksniff was definitely not just a quick study among the cast in Martin Chuzzlewit . Something sinister is up, thought I. Why would a lexicographer snatch up a unique, Dickensian creation, gag him and bind his real persona hand and foot, then slyly stand an impersonator in his place? This is clearly a sign of unctuous hypocrites at work. Did the decriminalization of Pecksniff have more expansive implications? Persons in high places would any day rather be called hypocritical than corrupt. With queasy, frantic haste as one might inventory his burgled residence, I looked up corrupt . Whew! Still intact: morally degenerate and perverted. I had been prepared for anything: hypocritical, demonstrating poor judgment,... For years and years, Merriam-Webster has held out an explicit definition of Pecksniffian , one precisely consistent with the Pecksniff we know, and usage has squared with that definition. It was a special word, unambiguously descriptive of a character's character. Users have been respectfully fussy about employing that distinctive word; it has not been slung around indiscriminately, as quintessential is today. A literal translation of unctuously hypocritical--the phrase does demand some translation-- would describe ordinary slick operators mainly putting on airs. Hypocrites, even hypocritical hypocrites, are a dime a dozen. One can see a parade of the species on TV any Sunday. Sometimes they even pop up in our bathroom mirrors. But Pecksniffians are a different breed. They are not simply characters who display contrived earnestness and advertise virtues they don't have, like the big smile and self-bestowed nickname Honest John , your friendly usedcar dealer. The Pecksnifflan is not so benign. Fortunately for society, Pecksniffians are spread pretty thin among the general population. It would scarcely concern a Pecksniff that we suspected that he is not what we had first thought-- or hoped for. What he desperately hopes to conceal is what he truly is: corrupt! Yes, I realize the living nature of language. I expect gradual evolutionary changes in word usage. But the sanitizing of Pecksniffian was no more evolutionary than the stallion's transmutation to a gelding. The old and new definitions are so opposed as to be in mortal combat. One might want to keep one's guard up when dealing with an unctuously hypocritical old boy, but that comes somewhat naturally because unctuosity in people is pretty easy to spot. But unctuous hypocrites are not the sort who would make a $500 billion raid on the US Treasury in broad daylight. That kind of a job demands the talents of genuine Pecksniffian politicians and their Pecksniffian pals. Was Charles Keating, as he passed out worthless bonds in exchange for thousands of citizens' retirement nest eggs, merely unctuously hypocritical, or was he corrupt behind a display of seeming benevolence? A Pecksniffian TV evangelist might conceivably-- heaven forbid--revile sin and sinners while wallowing in the conduct that he rails against. A particularly talented Reverend Pecksniff actually averted the destruction of his empire with a tele-tearful explanation that his debauchery was sacrificial and in the line of duty: It was on-the-job training for hand-to-hand combat with the devil!, he explained. There is a movement to decriminalize the meanings of words that once described criminal conduct in unmistakable terms. I first noticed it in the early 1980s, coincident with the apex of the looting of the savings and loans, about when Merriam-Webster discovered the tolerable side of Seth Pecksniff. Then, after that, the Texas Penal Code redefined car theft to unauthorized use of a motor vehicle and decreased the penalty for the crime. We should reflect that all Jesse James did was ride about making unauthorized withdrawals from banks. Who can say what the federal government had up its sleeve when it softened the term narcotics and began calling heroin and cocaine controlled substances . Dope addicts in that nature of things became mere substance abusers --new terminology that seemed to come about when some high government officials were accused of shooting up on heroin and sniffing coke. The old illegal numbers racket was vigorously battled by vice squads across the land until the states got into the business. Presto! The wicked numbers game is a racket no more, but a respectable, highly promoted Lotto, the hottest gambling enterprise ever conceived. Who would have ever dreamed that pursuit, apprehension, and prosecution of criminals was the wrong tactic in the war on crime? Now that we have discovered that we can slash the crime rate by simply excising the peck from Pecksniffian , so to speak, we should enter the 21st century with everybody living happily ever after. A Proper Look at Verbs She was Christian Diored from head to foot. Do you know how to Charleston? The plot was Holly-woodized . Would you xerox this page for me? They Sundayed at the lake. The milk is pasteurized . He Christied down the slope. All these italicized words belong to a sizable group of verbs based on names-- names of people, brands, places, time periods, and so on. But although we can talk about proper nouns and proper adjectives, we do not have a proper term to classify such verbs. Surely they deserve to be classified, but as what? The answer is not an easy one, so before trying to put forward some ideas, let us start by looking at how similar nouns and adjectives are classed. The words Jane, Italy , and February are three examples of what we usually refer to as proper nouns--those individual nouns that refer primarily to people, places, and time periods and that are generally written with an initial capital letter, Such words can also be termed proper names or proper nouns, though these more general terms may also include titles ( The Times, Gone With The Wind ), nationalities ( the Japanese, Russians ), ethnic or religious groups ( Arabs, Jews ), languages ( English, Swahili ), buildings ( the Central Station, Durham Cathedral ), and organizations ( OPEC, the United Nations ). Some grammar books go a step further, pointing out that along with proper nouns there is also a category of proper adjectives. Proper adjectives, we are told, generally derive from proper names and are also usually written with an initial capital letter. In the main they refer to nationalities ( Swiss, British, Egyptian ), places ( Venetian, Himalayan, Balkan ), ethnic, linguistic, or religious groups ( Sanskrit, Gaelic, Muslim ), and people ( Napoleonic, Smithsonian, Dantesque ). Sometimes a proper noun is used attributively, as an adjective ( a London buy ). Some proper nouns and proper adjectives that have given rise to widely used expressions are normally written with a lower-case letter; examples include cardigan, boycott, sandwich, platonic love, quixotic . Many experts, however, prefer to categorize these as common nouns or adjectives, labelling them eponyms --words derived from names. In fact, the name that originally inspired the word is now often merely incidental to the meaning and presumably in consequence the capital letter is omitted. These factors appear to strip such words of proper status. The OED states quite dogmatically that a proper noun is written with an initial capital letter. Other sources are not quite so outspoken; Merriam-Webster dictionaries maintain that proper nouns are usually capitalized in English. Definitions tend to be gerrymandered to comply with editorial policies. A small number of problems of capitalization--and therefore of categorization--arise, as, for instance, with words and expressions like F/french fries, Hoover, B/bohemian, C/casanova, S/scotch whisky, C/casarean . In such cases there seem to be few hard and fast rules: some dictionaries indicate a capital letter, others a small letter, still others give both forms. Here the dividing lines between proper nouns and adjectives and eponymous common nouns and adjectives become even hazier. But rather than pursue that obscure tack any further (place names such as Washington are surely both proper nouns and eponyms), let us see if the proper categories of words really end there as grammar books tend to suggest. If we have proper nouns and proper adjectives, can we not have proper verbs, too? What about verbs such as boycott, hoover, gerrymander, pasteurize (all based on personal names, though all usually written with a small letter). Can they not be termed proper verbs? Once again, as far as these verbs are concerned, the answer would seem to lie in the lack of an initial capital letter and the fact that they refer to something very much removed from the naine itself. For these reasons, most grammarians would simply classify these verbs as eponyms. If, however, we look at a few more verbs based on names, the situation is perhaps not quite so clear cut. Brand names, for example, are also regularly seen in verbal form; some typical examples are shown in the following sentences. (All name-based verbs given as examples in this article are included in the OED2 , the Oxford Dictionary of Modern Slang or the Longman Register of New Words unless otherwise stated.) I'm going to Ajax the sink next. (Ajax is a cleanser.) You can do it when you B&Q it' (British advertising slogan; B&Q is a DIY chain.) She barbified herself to go out that evening. (from the Barbie doll.) We were given a bovrilized version of the report. (Bovril is a concentrated beef extract.) The pack was cellophaned for convenience. Most Eastern European countries are now well and truly coca-colonized. The area is to be Disneyed into yet another theme park. They Gallup-polled a large sample. Kodak as you go. (American advertising slogan.) Please, Sellotape/Scotch-tape the envelope. (from British and US trade names.) Don't just book it, Thomas Cook it! (British advertising slogan.) You should Vaseline your hair down. The pocket flap was Velcroed shut. Could you please xerox this letter. Quite deliberately, some of these have been written with capital letters and some with lower-case letters. To coca-colonize, cellophane , and xerox appear to work quite well with small letters, but capital letters are surely preferable for many of the others. It probably depends on how widely used each individual verb is. Whether or not a capital letter is used may often be a question of personal choice, and dictionaries frequently give both forms. Place names can also crop up in a verbal form, C/charleston being a classic example. Countries, areas, and cities used as verbs can often indicate a visit: you might hear: They Cyprused in spring or We Florida'd last fall in the course of normal conversation. But other more specific meanings can become attached to places: to Benidorm means to develop (a seaside resort without much respect to the natural landscape or the urban environment); to Rubicon implies going beyond a point of no return. Hardly anyone is aware that the verb to meander comes from the name of the winding Menderes river in Turkey. Place names and the like often become verbs when used with an- ize or an - ify suffix: The story was Hollywoodized; The area risks being balkanized; The region was Vaticanized; The decor was Frenchified; The country is becoming Swissified; The immigrant quickly became Americanized; Standard British English is being Cockneyfied . Capital letters are generally used here, except for verbs which have become fairly common. Capital letters usually seem compulsory for names of time periods used as verbs. We Christmased at home and New Yeared in the mountains. She April Fooled him would look very strange with lower-case letters. Likewise, capital letters are essential in the song Dishonest Modesty , by Carly Simon and Zach Weisner, where we find the magazines House and Garden, Vogue, Glamour, Mademoiselle, Bitch and Screw , and Penthouse all being used as verbs. Personal names probably constitute the largest category of name-based verbs. Frequently used verbs found in dictionaries are usually written with lower-case letters ( boycott, bowdlerize, hoover ), the name behind the verb being almost insignificant. Other examples include to braille , to biro , to grangerize , to malaprop , to spoonerize , and to morse . But a more original, significant use of a personal name in a verbal form is more likely to be written with a capital letter. Advertising copy, topical conversation, and song lyrics seem to be three very fertile sources of this latter use. For example, in the song Rainbow High , from Evita , by Andrew Lloyd Webber and Tim Rice, we find, So Christian Dior me, So Machiavell-me, So Lauren Bacall me. There are numerous expressions based on famous names that celebrate the well-known traits of the people in question; here is a fairly short list: She threatened to Bobbit him. She Ciceroned us around the site. The old couple often Darby-and-Joan-ed a bit. They tended to Darwinize their theories. You need to Grundify your comments. He is Hitlerizing his style of leadership. You Judased on us. He tried to Napoleonize his image. Her drink had been Mickey-Finned. It was not the first time he was caught Ponting military secrets. (After Clive Ponting who leaked to the press details of the sinking of the Argentinian cruiser, General Belgrano.) Stop Pecksniffing at me! He's Prince Charming her. They unsuccessfully tried to Stonewall the move. He Tarzaned out of the tree. Don't Uncle Tom me so! The examples Ponting and Prince Charming from the above list are generally found as verbs only in their - ing form, as that is their original form. But few other name-based verbs seem to have such constraints, probably because English is such a relatively uninflected language, whereas many other languages have dozens or even hundreds of verb forms. The flexible nature of English means that verbs can easily be based on names, whereas in Latinate languages, with their many inflections, such a process is clearly hampered. Perhaps it is precisely because our approach to the grammar of English is still in many ways based on Latin grammar that we do not have a specific grammatical term for name-based verbs, and it is time to give proper recognition to this feature. The dividing line between proper nouns (and proper names) and common nouns-cum-eponyms is difficult to define. Nevertheless, two key factors for classification seem to be whether the name behind the verb is still relevant to the meaning and whether a capital letter is used. Such considerations are also pertinent to name-based adjectives. There would appear to be no reason why the first of these defining factors cannot be applied equally well to verbs, a boycott and to boycott could be labelled hand-in-hand as eponymous noun and verb (poor Capt. Boycott having been forgotten by everyone except the etymologists and encyclopedists). In the majority of cases, however, the name is not irrelevant, and the capital is usually kept. Clearly, we need a second category for those verbs that still allude directly to the name and that are consequently often written with a capital letter. The only proper term for such a category must be proper verb . My cup was an old blue one I had bought long ago at a Dallas Police Association fund-raiser.... You could replace a cup like that, but I had had it a long time. Page 35. I did not have a personal coffee cup of my own... Page 176. [From Turnaround Jack , by Richard Abshire, William Morrow. Submitted by .] Elementary, My Dear Mendeleev The categorization of all the known elements of the day by the Russian scientist Dmitri Ivanovich Mendeleev (1834-1907) represents an instance of genius in nomenclature and classification. Not only did Mendeleev notice that the elements could be grouped together in a chart that related their atomic numbers (the number of neutrons in the nucleus of their base isotope), but he also saw that this relationship grouped together elements with similar chemical characteristics. For instance, all the noble gases (neon, argon, krypton, xenon, and radon) are arranged in a vertical row at the right-hand edge of the table. However, just because elements in the same area of the Table are related atomically and chemically, this neatness is not necessarily reflected in the names, let alone the two-character symbols we have given to elements, which reflect all the chaos, variety, whims, and even vanity of history and human nature. Let us start with some of the more common elements, however, as their etymology best illustrates the complete arbitrariness in naming elements. Hydrogen , with atomic number 1, is actually rather straightforward: its name comes from easily recognized Latin roots for water and create. It is the most common element in the universe, and it is the most common element in ordinary, everyday water. In German it is called, very prosaically, Wasserstoffe water stuff in recognition of its role as the basic building block of water. German has a number of other element names which end in -stoffe: Kohlstoffe, Sauerstoffe , and Stickstoffe being the best known. Kohlstoffe is, of course, the stuff of coal, or charcoal. Both coal and c(h)ar come from IE * ker , meaning charcoal. Sauerstoffe is not a reference to Suerkraut , but in a way that is not as crazy as it sounds: Sure is the German word for acid, and oxygen is likewise the stuff that makes acids. Oxy comes from Greek oxus sharp < IE * ak , sharp and sour both being descriptive of acid. Nitrogen is a little more complicated. The word comes from Greek natron ash or soda. What might have been referred to was nitrogen's key role in creating nitrates and other alkaline (soda-like) compounds. Alongside these four most common elements--probably 99 per cent of all atoms in organic molecules are either carbon, oxygen, hydrogen, or nitrogen--we should consider some of the elements without which our standard of living would be impossible: the base and precious metals. A group of five metallic elements which were well known to the ancients and which also have in common symbols that do not resemble the English words for them are lead (Pb), copper (Cu), mercury (Hg), silver (Ag), and gold (Au). The reason the symbols vary so much from their names is that they are abbreviations of names given them in ancient times. Mercury , also called quicksilver , is liquid at room temperature and thus brought to mind the fleet-footed Roman messenger god. However, the Greeks also called the metal quicksilver; in Greek, liquid silver is hydrrgyros , from which the symbol Hg derived. Copper is from ME coper , OE coper/copor , Proto-Germanic * kupar , and is called cuprum in Late Latin; both Proto-Germanic and Late Latin forms are from Latin Cyprium , the adjective for Cyprus , whence the best copper came in antiquity, which goes back to the Greeks, who called it kupros . Whereas both the name of the element in English and its universal symbol come from Cyprus , the name came via Germanic and the symbol via Latin. Lead is from ME/OE lead , West Germanic lauda , but its ultimate origin is obscure. The Latin plumbum weight gives us the symbol, Pb (along with words like plumb, plumb bob , and plumber one who works with lead and lead pipes. Silver is from OE siolfor/seolfor , Proto-Germanic * silubhra , and may not be an Indo-European word at all, but one borrowed from the Semitic language Akkadian (the language of Babylon): sarpu refined metal. The symbol, Ag, comes from Latin argentum , from IE *arg, meaning to shine, or white. Gold comes from OE gold , IE * ghel to shine but in a yellow sense (in contrast to * arg , which is to shine in a white sense). This root, or closely related ones, such as * ghol , yield a whole slough of modern English words via various Proto-Germanic and related IE roots: yellow, gild, gall (a yellowish substance), choler, cholera, melancholy black bile, and chlorine , all via Greek khol yellow bile and Greek chlid luxury and Proto-Germanic * ghhleid and * glazem: gleam, glint, glimmer, glisten, glass, glaze, gloss, glance, glade, glee, glow, gloaming, glide , and glissade --quite a haul from what is basically a single root! The symbol, Au , comes from Latin aurum gold, which, in turn, comes from Indo-European * auso- gold, but possibly meaning to draw water, leading one to speculate that ancient gold was found by panning, as in placer mining. Finally, a group of odds `n' sods: nickel (the devil's metal), from modern German Kupfernickel copper demon: Nickel is a diminutive of Nicklaus , similar to the English Old Nick, a term for the Devil, so called because nickel was considered a contaminant when found in copper ore but in the early days of mining--as if the metal were spooked. Once a use had been found for nickel (it is what makes stainless steel stainless, among other uses), it became a desirable metal; but its ore was found to have a gremlin in it, which turned out to be cobalt ( Kobalt in German). The German word for gremlin is Kobold , an underground sprite believed to put curses on ore. Although several elements are spelled differently on either side of the anglophone world ( caesium vs. cesium , for instance), only aluminium is both spelled and pronounced differently. Aluminium is so spelled outside North America (except by the Canadian aluminum giant, Alcan Aluminium ). The metal was identified in 1808 by Sir Humphry Davy, who originally named it alumium , based on Latin alumen , and alum , oxides and sulphates of aluminum, respectively, which were known to the ancients. Four years later, however, Davy changed his mind and called the element aluminum , which he felt more closely resembled the Latin roots. The word was transformed in aluminium in Britain because it seemed more classically consistent. There is another element--tungsten--which used to be known as wolfram in Britain, although this has been supplanted by tungsten . It is not considered proper to name elements after oneself, but others can name an element after you if you are dead and sufficiently famous. Or you could arrange to have an element named after your hometown or your country: Scandium, Polonium, Europium, Francium, Americium, Germanium, Berkelium, Californium, Yttrium , and Ytterbium , the last two being elements named after the Swedish town where they were discovered. Elements named after scientists include Curium, Mendelevium, Einsteinium, Nobelium (actually this was named after Sweden's Nobel Institute, not directly after Alfred Nobel), and Lawrencium . However, there is another element whose nomenclature breaks the rules thanks to a trick its discoverer played on the world. The 19th-century French chemist Paul Emile Lecoq de Boisbaudran managed to name Gallium after himself (because, of course, Coq in Latin is Gallus !). As gallium is the only other metal, besides mercury, which is liquid at room temperature and since liquid metals have a slightly shady reputation, perhaps Lecoq's trick was poetically apt. Logos (Speech) and Logos (Symbols) gyptisches Museum, Berlin In the Beginning was the Logos ... and only much later were there letters. When and where humankind made its first intelligible utterance will never be known. However, it was only a mere 5,000 years ago that Homo loquens hit upon writing down some of the Babelian babble around him--and there has been no stopping him since! Presumably, Sumerian or Egyptian accountants--no boob-bookkeepers they!--first substituted signs for pictographs, giving them phonetic instead of semantic values. Literati of the day decided they too could use these new-fangled marks for something besides counting cows, setting in motion another logorrhoeic avalanche that has continued to snowball ever since. Speech and writing, as inextricably joined as a paper's two surfaces, are different forms of the same, singular phenomenon distinguishing humans from all other creatures on earth. Yet, while the garrulous gabble continues everywhere, constant and unabated, writing still eludes half the world's population for whom marks on any medium remain inscrutable, impenetrable, indecipherable cryptography. Writing is a symbol of the sounds (Aristotle, Categories ). But the discrepancies between language in its spoken and written forms are often blatant. The symbols of any writing system have whatever phonetic value its users agree to assign to them, convention and consensus playing a major role. For example, Europeans in America confronted with the street sign PED XING Efor the first time have seriously believed in the imminent Sinicization of contemporary American English. The configuration 2 is pronounced kaks(i), ketto, tin, rua, dua, lua, iki, xojor, mbili, zole, shnayim , and roughly, four to six thousand other ways around the globe. English orthography's quixotic, chimerical vagaries, allowing such Cheshire-cat creations as ghoti (= fish, courtesy of G.B. Shaw) and Ghoughphthleightteeaux (= potatoes; see Firmage), are notorious. From Aristotle and Quintilian to De Saussure, Chomsky, Harris, De Francis, and Pinker--to name a few--man has been studying language for more than two millennia. Two books of recent vintage reflecting this ongoing fascination are: The Alphabet Abecedarium The Story of Writing The Alphabet Abecedarium is the bibliophile's answer to the botanist's stroll through the garden, being an eminently enjoyable omnium gatherum of recondite, recherch, and obscure arcana and lore about the letters of our Latin alphabet written in a light, conversational, self-deprecatory, tongue-in-cheek style. After a brief history of the alphabet, each of the twenty-six succeeding chapters is devoted to a single letter, with a final one discussing signs and symbols. Firmage recounts the development of each letter from its first protoplastic attestation on through its often protean metamorphoses over the millennia. In an engaging, wide-ranging display of erudition, Firmage discusses the letters' symbological values in such diverse parlances as chemistry, music, ancient and modern mysticism (including far too much New Age material for my tastes), while quotes from such diverse figures as Joyce, Rabelais, Dostoyevsky, Bob Dylan--and Elmer Fudd--interlard the text. Firmage's main interest in this pleasant potpourri is in aesthetics: the letters' shapes and designs. Extrapolating on the theories of the Renaissance designer, Geofroy Tory, as expounded in his Champ Fleury (1529), Firmage takes Tory's sketches as the springboard for his analysis of the letter-shapes and the sometimes highly stylized forms they assume throughout history, from their inchoate inception in the Near East down to present-day, computer-generated typefaces. Line drawings alternate with explicative text. Quibbling additions and corrections: the mirrorreverse epitaph (p. 2) is anything but an illiterate endeavor, the letter forms being quite standard, the contents entirely normal. Why the letters are reversed is a puzzling enigma. Precedents to the horn book (pp. 59,76) are the approximately 300 sometimes waxed or white-washed wooden tablets preserving children's school exercises (3rd c. BCE-9th c. CE), many of the later ones likewise adorned by a cross. Acrostics (p. 75) are already attested in the Near East (3rd millennium BCE), Egypt (14th c. BCE) and 6th-c. BCE Greece. The so-called alectorocephalic anguipede deity portrayed on the gem (p. 174) is not the Christian three-form god but a teratomorphic concoction of Gnostic syncretistic fantasy. The (mis)information (pp. 11, 183) that papyrus was costly is an undying canard. After a hundred years of research and the publication of 50,000 papyri in a dozen languages the price of papyrus is simply unknown, too many imponderabilia--quantity? quality? size? amount?--plaguing the few references to a price. Incredible profligacy--a few lines on otherwise pristine sheets--and thousands of ancient tax receipts prove that even the poorest peasant could pay for the papyrus on which his payments were recorded. Scraping writing off papyrus irreparably damages the surface; washing produces only a smudge. Errors were simply crossed out and written over. Predating Kircher's mystical alphabets (p. 164) by 1400 years are so-called ring letters and characters of Greek, Coptic, Syriac, Hebrew, Ethiopian, Aramaic, and Arabic amulets. Chinese history (p. 183) says Cai Lun, a court official, invented paper in 105 CE. Recent archaeological finds antedate Cai Lun's putative invention by centuries: the oldest paper artifact being a 3rd-c. BCE map recovered from a tomb in Fangmatan in 1986. Only Egyptians of the Hellenistic period washed off and imbibed (p. 11) curative spells. Their pharaonic forebears knew nothing of the sort. Missing is a discussion of the word element which some derive from l + m + n; and (pp. 111-12) a reference to Luis d'Antin von Roote, Mots d'Heures: Gousses, Rames (New York 1967) and to Catullus' hilarious poem (no. 84), The Egregious Cockney, persiflaging pre-Augustan Romans' tendency to overaspirate. Rare misprints, and mistakes: p. 96 for flourine read: fluorine; pp. 164, 255: millenia; p. 179: for porcarum read porcorum ; p. 254: accomodate. Although The Alphabet Abecedarium is not necessarily a book to read from cover to cover, I did it, thoroughly captivated. In the end were the Logos? Taking a different approach, Robinson's The Story of Writing is almost coffee-table-sized; it is elegantly designed and richly illustrated. After presenting various systems of communication (signs, pictographs, rebuses, shorthand, tallies, Babylonian clay tokens, Peruvian quipus), Robinson discusses such ancient and now defunct but decipherable writing systems as Sumerian cuneiform, Egyptian hieroglyphs, Minoan Greek Linear B, and Mayan glyphs; ditto some of the more outstanding conundra awaiting decipherment--Cretan Linear A, Proto-Elamite, Etruscan, and the Easter Island and Indus scripts. The rest of the book treats living languages and their scripts. From Hieroglyphs to Alphabets--and Back?, the title of Robinson's concluding chapter, is not an entirely rhetorical question. Only twenty years ago did those now ubiquitous and--depending on how one perceives them-- exuberantly eloquent or infuriatingly laconic logos begin to appear on highway and street signs; in terminals (do kilted Scots or slacks-clad women ever end up in the wrong lavatories?); computer screen displays; and instruction manuals for electr(on)ic gadgetry. Similarly, architectural, musical, mathematical, astronomical, chemical notation, dance and circuit diagrams are replete with symbols some scholars place on a par with proto-scripts, implying that after 5,000 years of literary lucubrations and scriveners' scribblings we are leaving the Age of Writing and entering a post-modern Age of Logography. Succinctly stated, the basic, underlying question is, How do we (who use alphabets) read? Conversely, how did the ancient Sumerians, Egyptians, and how do present-day Chinese, Japanese, and Koreans read? Athanasius Kircher's (1602-1680) and Joseph de Guignes' (1721-1800) fanciful descriptions of Chinese signs and Egyptian hieroglyphs gave birth to the notion that these writing systems could somehow circumvent pedestrian alphabets, going as it were straight to the heart of things. Since then the myth has persisted that here encoded in these quasi-representational forms was the quintessence of thought, the eternal Platonic ideal, the Jungian Ur- symbol underlying all human cogitation--and by extrapolation, speech--the (al)lure of the fabulous (Far) East playing an obvious role. Linguistic research has proven, however, that such notions are entirely false. Hieroglyphs and logographs are just as much phonetic-based scripts as letters (which millennia ago were likewise pictorial representations of concrete objects). That hieroglyphs and logographs sometimes contain significant visual elements--mnemonic aids to jog the memory and set the synapses swinging--is icing on the cake. First and foremost, hieroglyphs and logographs are read as sounds, not symbols, as my seven-year foray into Chinese has taught me. How the brain actually perceives writing of any shape is a question spanning a wide variety of disparate disciplines, cognitive sciences, (neuropsycho-) linguistics and -biology, the debate ongoing and controversy-laden. Visible speech, regardless whether alphabetic or logographic, with all its faults and foibles, its inherent inconsistencies, inadequacies, and inaccuracies, it seems, is here to stay. All Gone Pear-Shaped: Opportunities for Misunderstanding the Police One of my first and most vivid impressions after becoming a London police officer was the exceptional richness of police jargon. It also struck me as odd, in view of how inventive and amusing this jargon is, how little is used for background colour in TV police dramas and, when the programme-makers use it at all, how often they get it wrong. For instance, fictional police are always talking about their being in the Force , whereas real police never talk about the force : it is always simply the job . So an off-duty officer stopped in a speed trap will try to escape by murmuring to the traffic officer, I'm in the job, mate, or perhaps just I'm job. When his pals ask him about it they will say, Were you in a job car? Officers perennially gripe about the abrasive and unsympathetic qualities of job toilet paper . Even the house journal of Britain's largest force, the London Metropolitan Police, is called simply The Job . Similarly, no real police officer has, in my hearing, ever referred to his territory as either his manor or his patch , both terms being the norm in British cop shows. In fact, policemen always speak of their ground : an officer might ask his pal, Do you know a pub called the Rhinoceros? and his friend will reply, Of course I do: it's on my ground. Returning from a foray outside his own station's area, one officer will say to another, Ah, we're back on the ground again. Another term much beloved of TV dramatists is Super , for Superintendent, and its logical next step, Chief Super : the Super's on his way. In reality, police never abbreviate this rank. I've no idea why; they just don't. It is always the Superintendent or He's a Chief Superintendent now. In conversation, however, the Superintendent or Chief Superintendent in charge of a station is almost invariably referred to as simply the guv'nor , and he and his entourage of supervising officers down to and including Inspectors are collectively the governors . The Inspector running a shift of operational officers is also the guv'nor . By contrast, no one, of any rank, ever addresses someone of the rank of Constable as Constable: in direct address he will simply be addressed by name or, in more formal contexts, by his number: 601, report to the Chief Superintendent for annual qualification review at 3.00 pm. In indirect reference, the body of Constables is always referred to as the PCs , mentioned individually in such terms as He's a PC on M Division, My son's in the job: he's a PC at Wembley. Sergeants are addressed from time to time as Sarge , but much more usually as Skipper or Skip ; and they are always referred to indirectly as such: He's a skipper on M division. Inspectors and Chief Inspectors are never abbreviated or otherwise jargonized. As for the most stratospheric ranks of all, ending with the Commissioner himself, they are known collectively as the brass . The PCs are divided into reliefs , each working a rotation of early, late, and night shifts. Shift , however, is a word that is not used by the police: early and late duties are known as early and late turn , but nights are always night duty or plain nights . Early turn is generally known colloquially as early worm , but the other two have no sobriquets. Any single period of work is a tour (of duty) . Before your tour you get into your uniform, including your bonnet (helmet--but never the flat cap used on motorized patrol), your stick (truncheon, including the new American-style nightsticks), and your uniform jacket (not strictly a jargon term, but another case of police-public divide, in that the public nearly always call it a tunic , which is never used by the police themselves). You also put on your PR personal radio. At one time this was called the Batphone , but that term has dropped out of use. The building where all this takes place is never referred to as anything other than the nick . That is also the commonest of many names for prison, and the one almost invariably used by police. Anyone held in police custody is banged up. Nick is the universal verb for the act of arrest: the polite courtroom phrase I arrested and cautioned him is almost invariably a euphemism for the words actually spoken by PC to the prisoner on the street are, You're nicked--suitably adverbially embellished if the prisoner has caused the PC to run, fight, or lose his breath. A prisoner is a body , as in Any mobile unit available to so to Trafalgar Square to pick up 601 with a body? But you never arrest a body, or even nick him: you always get a body . You may also feel his collar or, more commonly, have him off , and if it is for anything other than drunkenness, you get a crime knock . Crime knocks often flow from observations. Here is another example of the TV people (and the newspapers) getting it wrong: they always refer to the police as keeping an observation . Police, on the other hand, never say that, always doing an obbo . One thing, however, is certain: however he came to be arrested, the body is always thenceforward referred to as Chummy . Many crimes are invariably referred to by initials, some of which belong to offences that have been super-seded--a good example of jargon's proving more tenacious of life than the things from which it arises. For example, someone arrested for the offence of going equipped for theft is still known by the initials of the old offence of carrying House Breaking Implements by night, from the Larceny Acts, though they were repealed decades ago. Thus I had him off for HBI. You might also have him off for TDA (Taking and Driving Away, now replaced by Taking a conveyance ), or for OPD (Outraging Public Decency), IPO (Impersonating a Police Officer), or for the better-known ABH or GBH (assaults occasioning Actual or Grievous Bodily Harm). And there are many others. If you have had someone off for some of the more serious of these crimes it is likely that you will be in plain clothes. In that case you need to identify yourself as job to Chummy. You do this by flashing your brief , which means in practice waving under his nose a bit of plastic that is actually your warrant card, but as far as Chummy knows might be anything, and announcing that he's nicked. When he gets to the nick he will then holler for a brief of an entirely different kind, namely his lawyer--a solicitor; and if the case goes as far as court, the brief will very likely have engaged a mouthpiece --in Britain a barrister, in the USA a trial lawyer--to speak for him. Some crime knocks are wrongful, and sometimes officers have been known to arrest on sight someone they feel sure is at it and decide later on what they have arrested him for, sometimes even planting evidence. This is known in copspeak as being swift , or as swifting someone off for whatever it is that is later decided upon. Or you may tell your pals in the canteen later that you had him off under the C [or whichever] Division Breathing Act or under the Refusal of Particulars Act . More frequent is the custom of claiming that Chummy said something self-incriminating on arrest. This is known as verballing him up . Any such behaviour is often described as bent , as in bent copper , but among police themselves the common term for such an arrest is, I see old so-and-so got well and truly stitched up for theft from vehicles. This is yet another case where police and public part company: the media always talk of bent police fitting up innocent arrestees. The police never use that term, always stitch up . The term fit up was, as far as I can ascertain, coined by the novelist G.F. Newman in his story of a bent detective, Sir, You Bastard , but it is the one that has caught on, at the expense of the real police term. A police officer caught going bent will get into trouble. Whether or not he ends up in court, he will certainly be the subject of internal disciplinary proceedings. He will describe himself, however, as having been stuck on , this being short for stuck on the dab . Or he may use the other half for his abbreviation and say, I'm going on the dab for this. The term comes from the word dabs fingerprints, which are taken from a prisoner by police only after arrest for fairly serious crime. And an officer who has been stuck on may well be heard lamenting that It's all gone pearshaped --which is what happens when anything that should have a fine, firm shape sags, with all the stuffing leaking down into the bottom and flopping outwards. Having initially been stuck on, the errant PC will soon receive the official form warning him that he may be subject to disciplinary proceedings. Like all large bureaucracies, the police flounder in an ocean of paper, with a form for every action. The one for this warning of possible discipline is a Form No. 163, so the PC can now say of himself, I've been one-six-three'd; and a bit later, when the senior officer assigned to investigate the complaint decides that there is enough evidence to justify a hearing (which he always does), comes the even more dreaded next stage, I've been one-six-foured --i.e., given notice of the date of the disciplinary hearing. You can be stuck on for anything from serious misconduct to minor infringements of the police's absurdly draconian and catch-all disciplinary codes, which make it possible for a senior officer with a grudge against a junior to stick him on for almost anything. For example, the PC may have been caught slipping unobtrusively into a restaurant or pub on his ground to scrounge--otherwise ponce or mump --a drink or a meal. Every PC cultivates his own special places for this purpose: they are his own preserve and forbidden to other PCs; he will refer to them as his ponce-holes , and they add greatly to the sum of constabular happiness. (Mine included the Savoy Hotel.) Other things for which one might go on the dab include scrounging provender from markets, the produce being known as codgel ; associating with the wrong kind of company, which is to say actions like boozing with known criminals, or CRO men. (CRO stands for Criminal Records Office. The office itself has been given an impressive new name, but the old initials survive it.) So I might talk of your friends with criminal convictions as your CRO mates. Police/public again: the cop shows and newspapers always describe these friends of yours as having form . The police always talk of previous . Having either, Chummy will of course have a docket number at CRO or its computerized replacement; any police officer, however, will still say Well, well, well! He's got a club number ! Having nicked Chummy, the police may wish to search his property for the proceeds of his crimes. If he refuses his permission for them to do so, they will get a W (warrant) from a magistrate or, in some parts, a Panel of experts bench of lay justices. Then they will go and give his drum a spin , or just spin him search his home. Whether or not they find anything, they will eventually get into half-blues civilian jacket over job shirt and trousers and go off to the pub for a well-earned pint; and if you eavesdrop on their conversation, since policemen always talk shop, you will undoubtedly overhear some of the expressions you have been introduced to here. No one expected it to be that high, but it's lower than what we expected, said Mark Obrinsky,.... [From The Wall Street Journal , , page A8. Submitted by .] But the N.C.A.A. is concerned only with breaches of its recruiting and academic rules, not with honest-to-goodness crime. [From A National Disgrace, in Reader's Digest , . Submitted by ] Turns of Phrase How long is it since you turned round and gave someone a good earful? And did he or she turn round and give as good as they got? You might turn round to me and say you don't know what I'am on about. In which case I am liable to turn round to you and say, Of course you do. Open your ears. But beware. You may find this particular speech habit to be like the creaking tree outside the window: it was always there but you never heard it. Once you hear it you scarcely hear anything else. Why do we twist and spin before we speak? Is it a ritual? a spell to ward off contradiction? a dance of self-justification? Certainly, it usually carries some hint of aggression, and, as always, vindication is in the mouth of the utterer. If you turn round and do it to me, it probably means you are being duplicitous in some way--switching allegiance; reversing an opinion. A turncoat, perhaps. She turned round and told me she always knew I had the dress sense of a bag-lady. We might term this Turning Round and Offering Bare-faced Cheek. The orbiting full moon, perhaps. Consumer grievances are particularly rich in these audacious revolutions. Retailers seem to turn round wholesale on their hapless customers with outrageous demands. The Gas Board turned round and said I had to pay for their cock-up. This is called Turning Round and Moving the Goalposts. If, on the other hand, I turn round and do it to you, it probably means that I am turning in heroic defiance, wheeling in righteous indignation, turning on my tormentors. I turned round and told them I wasn't going to take it lying down. This is known as Turning Round and Standing One's Ground. The average day's listening to talk radio will provide a vertiginous selection of all these categories--plus, of course, the Political Revolution. That is not, as previously thought, the overthrow of one faction by another but describes those occasions when the minister reverses his position while claiming consistency of stance. That is called Turning Round and Steering a Steady Course and appears on Page 1 of the Spin Doctor's Manual. The pice-de-rsistance of the rotating phrase, however, came when my own step-daughter told me of an aggravated duet (or should that be roundelay?) between herself and her habitual sparring partner. After an epic exchange of personal pirouettes she delivered the knockout punch with the following: I told her to her face, [an aberrant piece of straight-talking, this] Don't you turn round to me and tell me I turned round and accused you of being two-faced. Thus creating, in the true sense of the term, a circular argument. Dizzying stuff, eh? The Intrusive s The letter s sometimes appears at the end of a word to which it does not properly belong. Examples are a little ways, anyways , and somewheres . This usage is commonly heard in the United States, chiefly from country folk, or folks. The earliest use I have found is dated 20 April 1806, when William Clark, in the Lewis and Clark Journal, wrote, a long ways off. Today in newspapers, and especially in advertising, one often reads (and hears) a savings of and, increasingly, Daylight Savings Time . Sometimes it appears that one s is suggested by another. Thus we hear for heaven's sakes , and for goodness' sakes . Harold Ross, the founder and editor of The New Yorker , was a stickler for details of grammar, punctuation, and usage. But he is quoted as saying, For God's sakes. The intrusive s frequently makes its way into place names. The road on which I live, properly Lyons Plain Road , is often called Lyons Plains Road. A nearby town is commonly called Greens Farms; it is my guess that Mr. Green had only one farm. For some years I spent the winters in a house in England called Gun Green Farm . Something like one in twenty letters from the USA were addressed to Gun Green Farms. An example I particularly like is Smiths College . The addition of an s to a place name seems to be largely an American habit. But the British have also played their part. In England, rather more than in the United States, one finds an s tacked on to the French names Marseille and Lyon. Marsales is in fact the commonly heard pronunciation. Even the good edition of the Encyclopaedia Britannica (1911) gives the entry LYONS (Fr. Lyon ) and uses Lyons throughout the text except when giving a name, such as the Paris-Lyon main line . The heading MARSEILLES is given with no reference to the spelling Marseille , except when reproducing similar names or as a place of publication. The Times Atlas of the World (1967) does better; in the gazetteer it gives Lyons, France, see Lyon, and Marseilles, see Marseille. In the map of France it gives the proper spelling, with the English in parentheses below. In a full-page article in The New York Times , August 26, 1990, What's doing in Lyons, Steven Greenhouse uses Lyons and Lyons's throughout, though using Lyon in a name, such as Bistrot de Lyon . At one point he writes, Lyons, which the French spell Lyon. Newspaper accounts of sporting events commonly refer to the finals. There are, of course, quarter-finals and semi-finals, but only one final. Let me report that more than once last week, I was wished a Happy New Year's , though I am sure that my friends were wishing me to be happy for more than one day. Recently I read Treason in the Blood , a book about the Philbys, father and son, Houghton Mifflin, 1994, by Anthony Cave Brown. The subject greatly interested me; but my faith in the author was shaken on the very first page, by his misquotation from Blake, And did those feet in ancient times ... I was less surprised by an advertisement of an outfit that offered visiting Americans summer courses at Cambridge and Oxford, misquoting Matthew Arnold, Oxford ... whispering from her towers the last enchantments of the Middle Ages. This horror, ruining Arnold's lovely rhythm, actually appears in that otherwise admirable book, the Oxford Dictionary of Quotations . Finally, I hope I may be forgiven, as a Cambridge man, for citing my favorite example, a book called Manuscript and Proof , published in 1937 by Oxford University Press. My copy, carefully preserved, has the jacket, twice proclaiming the title as Manuscript and Proofs . The Game of the Name Being born of parents from the East Midlands and spending the early years of my life there, having a name like John Thorpe never really gave me any problems. The countryside of Lincolnshire and Leicestershire abounds with village names that end with thorpe and, apart from being called Thorpy by my school pals, the name never caused any difficulty. That was before I started travelling. It was then that I found out just how tough it is for most nationalities to get their tongues round the dreaded th. Even when I started working in London I had to accept a fair number of Mista Forps in the course of an average day. It is not surprising that my first exposure to non-Brits was in France, where I soon reconciled myself to a Gallic attack on my personal hygiene when they insisted on addressing me as Miss Your Soap, subtly intoned, I always thought, with an interrogatory inflexion. Later, on many visits to Germany, I reluctantly submitted to the title of Hair Torpor, an uncanny prediction of what was to befall my then luxuriant growth. Italians mostly managed with a cheerful Seen Your Top, which surprised me because I was taller than most of those I had to deal with. My Russian contact used to call me simply Zorrp, which I found pretty much to the point, and a Hungarian colleague settled for Trope. Only in Switzerland did I find someone who truly tried to get it right, but the effort involved putting his tongue out at me and concluded with an overly explosive final consonant; but he got all the bits in there. My travels in Asia demonstrate a much more sensible approach by the wily natives, and in India, China, and Japan most of my contacts have, without invitation, settled for the easy to deal with Mister John. Strange to say, it is in the US that one of the really weird aural hiccups occurs. It usually happens in restaurants or hotels or any of the other places where professional name takers are found. The conversation usually goes something like this: Good morning, sir. Could I have your name please? Yes, I'm John Thorpe. OK, Mr. Philips, I've put your name on the list. No, no. My name is Thorpe, not Philips, John Thorpe. Oh! Sari! Yewer Jarn Thorwup. Gee, I'm sari. Now that conversation may sound unbelievable, but in the US I have been renamed Philips dozens of times, on the West coast, particularly. So often, in fact, that I have been forced to assume the new identity of the more acceptable Jarn Thorwup when dealing with any of the name takers so deeply entrenched in the American way of doing things. How can they hear it that way? It is not as though Thorpe is that unusual a name in the States: after all, one of the great athletes of all time was Jim Thorpe, and they even named a town after him. To be honest though, I think I would rather be a Zorrp than a Philips. F U Cn Rd Ths ... What is the ruling logic behind abbreviations? Of course, they should be shorter than what they stand for, or why use them? But they should also be quickly decodable for the original words, and that is not always the case. For example, does ct. mean count or court? It can mean either. Or take the state in which I live, Mississippi: should that be abbreviated MS , or is that for Missouri? Or if Missouri is MO, what is Montana, and if Montana is MN (try again), what is Minnesota? A few bouts of this will make your head spin. And then, some abbreviations have unsuspected depths, or at least possibilities I had never entertained. I have a friend named Mary who stands words on their heads. She is bright, articulate, and ten years old. Why are some streets called Beloved? She asked me the other day. What do you mean? I asked--my usual response to one of Mary's queries. Right there, she said, pointing to the lettering on a map that read Grand Blvd . Mary, that's Boulevard , not Beloved , I objected, but feebly. Mary's readings are often more interesting than the conventional interpretation. She turned her serious gray-eyed gaze full on me. How can you tell? Context, I replied with all the adult stiffness I could muster, and that seemed to convince her. But since then, she has me wondering. Why do so many roads end in Saint --Elm St., Main St.? What about the Bulldog in the Manger (Bldg. Mgr. in rear) I see listed in apartment blocks? How does a woman fit in an envelope (Ms. enclosed)? From there, it is a short route to Phony Doctors (Ph.D.s) and municipal twerps (Now entering Monroe Twp.). But maybe I had better stop here before I lose all central ( ctrl .). ANTIPODEAN ENGLISH The ABC of Broadcasting Australian Australia's national broadcaster, the Australian Broadcasting Corporation [ABC], has had advice on its use of English for more than half a century. The advising body, the Standing Committee on Spoken English [SCOSE], has in recent years been made up of four categories of member: broadcasters [practitioners]; bureaucrats [facilitators]; academics [linguistic experts]; and representatives of the wider community. The committee is generally held in high regard but ran aground when four out of five of the outside members resigned earlier this year. Their action raises two questions. The first is a general one: what sort of standardisation or regulation does a community expect or tolerate in the language its broadcasters use? The second is more local and specific to the set of circumstances pertaining in the ABC: why does a committee which has had a useful and influential life for more than fifty years suddenly reach a crisis point at which a significant proportion of its members are prepared to gamble on an incoming General Manager's reassessment of its role and put at risk its very existence? To take the general question first, let us begin with a little history. SCOSE began its life in 1943 as the Pronunciation Advisory Committee. It was concerned with the maintenance of standard English pronunciations as those then believed to be most suitable for broadcasting. Standard English meant the King's English, and in this outpost of Empire, announcers (though unseen) wore dinner suits to read the news and abided by the rulings of the English phonetician Daniel Jones, whose tremendously influential English Pronouncing Dictionary was first published in 1917. Enter a young Australian phonetician, Alex Mitchell, later to become the founding Vice-Chancellor of Macquarie University, and in that capacity to appoint Arthur Delbridge, later to become Chief Editor of the Macquarie Dictionary , as Macquarie's first Professor of English and Linguistics. In 1952, on the recommendation of an internal committee set up to consider the desirability of the ABC's making some departure from BBC practice, the Standing Committee on Pronunciation was established to (and the wording is historic) advise the Corporation on the most acceptable pronunciation of those words for which [the] current Australian pronunciation differs from the pronunciation recorded by Daniel Jones. The committee was named the Standing Committee on Spoken English in 1954, Mitchell and Delbridge being successive chairmen of SCOSE during its formative years. Over the years this committee has vigilantly assessed its utility, several times reviewing its aims and procedures (in 1971, 1983, 1987, and 1989). Its revised terms of reference are: to advise the Corporation on its use of Spoken English in broadcasting, with special reference to pronunciation, grammatical usage, and style; and to prepare for publication, in electronic or print form, such specialised guides to the use of English, or other languages as necessary. Its primary goal has been the provision of expert advice to broadcasters--on the pronunciation of names, place names, foreign words, words from specialist vocabularies as various as music and sport, the Church and medicine, etc. Daily lists of words that are likely to give a broadcaster the conniptions are constantly being added to a huge database which is electronically available to all broadcasters. Nor has the committee shirked the responsibility thrust on it by the public or avoided public controversy. It has taken on (over the pronunciation of kilometre) Australia's most loquacious Prime Minister, Gough Whitlam, and fearlessly determined an Australian pronunciation of words as divers as Jervis Bay, Chernobyl, and Quixote. It has developed and sustained a public role for itself, as its numerous correspondents will testify. It has watched over and, in a very low-key way, guided the development of a recognisable and accepted Australian standard. It has not been without influence on the ABC's commercial rivals. It seems reasonable to assume that it is valued by the community. Where a committee can lose its way, no matter how intrinsically valuable its deliberations, is in its communication with its users (or should-be users). One problem is the receptivity of a new generation of broadcaster that thinks SCOSE ivory-towerish and its recommendations arcane and irrelevant in a world where information matters more than its expression. A second has been the maintenance of a communicating mechanism within the Organisation, which has been dependent on support from within the ABC's management structure. In its heyday SCOSE was chaired by one of the academic members, which gave it a certain impartiality and independent force, and the circulation of its findings was the responsibility of a senior ABC officer and a trained secretary-cum-research assistant who was the servant of the committee and who reported to that officer. Most recently it has been chaired by a senior officer, alternately the Head of Radio (who has rarely been able to attend meetings), and the Head of TV (who attended one meeting out of eleven). Both professed their whole-hearted support for SCOSE (as did the then General Manager, who attended one Christmas party), but neither has been able to deliver. This has left the research assistant on her own, and SCOSE effectively if unintentionally emasculated. But perhaps the revolution is over and the new generation is in the right. WORD PROCESSORS - TEMPORARY - several positions open proficiency with at least 1 language necessary. Call The Agentry. [Classified ad in the (Springfield, Massachusetts) Union-News , . Submitted by anon.] HOLYOKE - An ordinance that will help the city recoup thousands of dollars in fines from abandoned car owners has won the support of the police chief. [From a story by Martin J. Laue in the (Springfield, Massachusetts) Union-News , . Submitted by anon.] Many thanks for the very kind gift of the number of VERBATIM containing the long and very amusing article on my grandfather, Professor Walter W. Skeat [The (invariably) Right Reverence Walter W. Skeat, XVIII, 1,16]. From what I was told many years ago, he was constantly deluged with letters from complete strangers demanding to be told the etymology of various words, and I am not at all surprised that he should have shown irritation with those who had not even taken the elementary steps of consulting either his own dictionary or the N.E.D . These, however, were the easy ones and could be answered very briefly. When asked for the derivation of a word of which the etymology had not been worked out, he adopted a rationing system: he did the best he could with the resources available in his study in the space of half an hour. The result was then communicated to his correspondent, whose letter would then be dropped into the wastepaper basket! This was necessary because otherwise his work would have brought to a standstill. Of course personal acquaintances were not treated in such a cavalier fashion, and he must have accumulated an enormous correspondence, virtually none of which has survived, except for his letters from Sir James Murray, who with great presence of mind, on hearing of my grandfather's death, recovered the letters which he had sent him. Both sides of this lifetime correspondence are now in the possession of his granddaughter, Miss K. M. E. Murray, who has made arrangements in her will to bequeath them to the Bodleian. Apart from these, all his vast correspondence seems to have been destroyed, apart from a few stray items which have descended to me. I say destroyed because I recall having been told many years ago that after his death his two sons (my father and my uncle) spent weeks tearing up old letters. Robert Adams writes [XXII,2] of the much-celebrated Stoat as if Heironymous were still anonymous. I am astonished that Adams has been unaware of Stoat's new career. Mr. Stoat has been profiled several times in Tqydrtk Magazine , among other places. In those articles, he spoke of his frustration with words inevitably creating meaning in the minds of literate readers and his search for an audience neither literate nor readers. Possibly Cardiff has been spared MTV, but we haven't. The idea that words strung together will inevitably make some sort of sense and conjure connections in a reader's mind has been vanquished by MTV. Stoat's insight was to mate words without apparent meaning to video images that move so rapidly and have so little intrinsic activity (as opposed to action, of which there is plenty) that no one can imagine what they're about. There is no time for reflection and savoring, no desire to be bombarded again. Nouns are often paired, but in ways that guarantee incomprehension. For instance, in one of his famous videos, a haddock (or some other large fish) was on the screen for a moment while a vocalist [ sic ] sang about a light bulb. Now, of course, we have been given the key to this complicated metaphor. Thanks for enlightening us. I hope Mr. Adams will explore this oeuvre and see how people can take random words sung to apparently random music and accompany them by random images. Mr. Stoat has successfully broached the barricades of words. Mr. Champlin [On Good Terms, XXII, 1, 11] might be interested to know that in this part of the world, South of Manchester, in the market town of Altrincham, a custom called Beating the Bounds takes place every year. Boundary stones have taken the place of merestones . They may be set in a wall or be part of a bridge or some such construction. I have attended the ceremony, which takes about two hours and involves crossing the local canal by boat since that is where the boundary crosses. I have a letter from the Steward and Notary to the Barony of Dunham Massey (constituted by the Baron Hamon de Massey after the Norman Conquest), giving me the script which is read at the start of the Beating the Bounds. Once young boys had their heads bumped on the merestones to make them remember exactly where the boundaries of their parish lay! Now one of the members of the Altrincham Court Leet takes a branch of willow and swishes it against the stones occurring along the route. Beating the Bounds was intended to establish boundaries at a time when accurate maps were not available. The bumping of boys' heads had to be suffered even when the merestones were thrown into dividing streams or ponds. There is a great deal of history attached to this practice. I took some photos at various stages along the route when I walked with the Court Leet of about half a dozen gentlemen dressed in mediaeval robes. I enjoyed Alan Major's A Catalogue of Cats [XXII,2] very much. In it he refers to the 1785 edition of Captain Francis Grose's Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue . I wonder if Mr Major is aware of the 1811 dictionary, A Dictionary of Buckish Slang, University Wit, and Pickpocket Eloquence , which appeared twenty years after Grose's death and which is presumably an expansion of the original work. It was reprinted in 1984 by Bibliophile Books, 33 Maiden Lane, Covent Garden, London WC2E 7JS. It's a great read and has the following cat-derived words and definitions: cat a common prostitute. old cat: a cross old woman. cat-heads Sailor's slang, a woman's breasts., to cat or shoot the cat to vomit from drunkenness. cat and bagpipean society a society which met at their office in the Great Western Road: in their summons, published in the daily papers, it was added that the kittens might come with the old cats without being scratched. cat call a kind of whistle, chiefly used at theatres, to interrupt the actors and damn a new piece. It derives its name from one of its sounds, which greatly resembles the modulation of an intriguing boar cat. cat harping fashion Sailor's slang, drinking crossways and not, as usual, over the left thumb. cat in pan from turn cat in pan change sides or parties; supposed originally to have been turn cate or cake in pan. cat's foot Also, live under the cat's foot be under the dominion of a wife; be hen-pecked. to live like cat and dog, said of married persons who live unhappily together. as many lives as a cat Cats, according to vulgar naturalists, have nine lives--that is, one less than a woman. no more chance than a cat in hell without claws said of one who enters into a dispute or quarrel with one greatly above his match. cat lap tea. Also called scandal broth. cat match when a rook or cully is engaged amongst bad bowlers. (Elsewhere rook is defined as a cheat and cully as a fop or fool.) cat of nine tails a scourge composed of nine strings of whipcord, each having nine knots. cat's paw to be made a tool or instrument to accomplish the purpose of another: an allusion to the story of a monkey that made use of a cat's paw to scratch a roasted chestnut out of the fire. cat's sleep counterfeit sleep. Cats often pretend to sleep to decoy their prey, then suddenly spring on it. cat sticks thin legs. The allusion is to the sticks with which boys played at cat. cat whipping or whipping the cat a trick often practised on ignorant country fellows, vain of their strength: a wager is laid with them that they may be pulled through a pond by a cat. The bet being made, a rope is fixed round the waist of the party to be catted and the end thrown across the pond, to which the cat is fastened by a packthread. Three or four sturdy fellows are appointed to lead and whip the cat: these, on a signal given, seize the nd of the cord, and, pretending to whip the cat, haul the astonished booby through the water. whip the cat Tailoring, to work at private houses, as practised in the country. In his final paragraph, Mr Major says that cat's hair down on the face of youths before the beard grows is a term that all male readers will be familiar with. I never encountered that: we used to refer to it as bum fluff ! Incidentally, the Thai name for cat is meow . In XXII, 2 you printed a letter from me regarding Charles Stough's article, Insulting Nicknames Give Journalists Something to Be Proud of [XXI,4]. In that letter I gave my own recollection of a popular satirical summary of the nicknames of England's newspapers and asked if other readers might be able to come up with more complete and accurate versions. Two readers have, in fact, responded, Ms. Diana May (Ickenhan, Middlesex) and Dr. John Kahn (Eton College). I think that other readers might be interested in a new and improved list. This list is an amalgamation of Ms. May's and Dr. Kahn's, which vary in some details but agree on the most important points: The Times Read by the people who run the country. Daily Mail Read by the wives of the people who run the country. Daily Mirror Read by the people who think they run the country. Guardian Read by the people who think they ought to run the country. Independent Read by the people who think the people running the country are wrong. Financial Times Read by the people who own the country. Today Read by the people who think they own the country--and want to sell it. Morning Star Read by the people who think the country should be run by another country. Daily Express Read by the people who think the country ought to be run the way it used to be run. Daily Telegraph Read by the people who think it still is. Sun Read by the people who don't care who runs the bloody country providing she's got bit tits. I read Mary Douglas Dirks's review of Professor Spevack's Shakespeare Thesaurus [XXII, 1], in the comfort of the little village pub at Stalham Green here in Norfolk. (If the camera had worked properly, you would be able to recognise VERBATIM on the table beside my pint.) The pub is named after a bird common in the Broads, the grey heron Ardea cinerea , known locally as the harnser . We do not mistake it for a hawk, a plasterer's board with a handle underneath (called, interestingly enough, oiseau in French). On the other hand, we do not use it to cut wood. Our forebears used to hunt it with hawks, and they could easily distinguish hunter from quarry. I was taught at school that Hamlet was referring to falconry when he explained to Horatio that he was but mad north-northwest. This seems more likely than a punning comparison of tools which His Royal Highness is unlikely to have used. Besides, what other kind of saw would he (or Shakespeare) have known, power tools then being in their infancy? Could the foot-lathe have been adapted as a footsaw? H. Kirke Swann, in his Dictionary of English and Folk-Names of British Birds (Witherby and Co., 1913, republished by Gale Research Company, Detroit, 1968), gives Hern, Hernshaw, Hernseugh, Hernsew, Harn, Harnser , and Harnsey as names for the Common (Grey) Heron. The last three are East Anglian. All are derived from the French heronceaux young heron, which itself descends from heroncel , an Old French diminutive. There are a number of French words in common use here in the Far East (of England). The cloth with which mine host Wally mops the bar as we discuss that American mag of yours is called a dwile , from toile . We use towels in the course of our toilet (and in the toilet, too), but dwiles are found in bars and kitchens all over Norfolk. Goo ye well together, as Wally says to the company at closing time. Rosemary Bowmer [XXII, 2, 9] says that a rod was four and a half yards when she started school. I was taught that five and a half yards made up one rod, pole, or perch; thus, four rods equalled twenty-two yards, the length of a cricket pitch, ten times that made a furlong, and there were eight furlongs to a mile. Of course, these measurements were used by unlettered and ignorant peasants, who had no schooling; nowadays, when education continues till well into adult life, even to pensionable age, counting is done, as it were, on the fingers--metric, I believe, that it is called. R. Millar [ibid., 22] says there cannot have been so many smiths in olden times. Smith does not necessarily refer to a blacksmith but to a worker, possibly in metal ( smite , as in beating with a hammer or such?). Gold, White, Silver, Copper, and., as in the case of my grandfather, Tyresmith, by trade, not by name. [Undoubtedly changes in the values of measurements can be attributed to inflation.] Donald Macintosh's anecdote about the Scottish workman whose conversation baffles the visiting Frenchwoman [XXII,2] makes the unwarranted assumption that the common speech of the people of the Scottish Lowlands is an English dialect. The subject has been debated for at least four centuries but, as the editors of VERBATIM must be aware, a body of evidence suggests that the Scots tongue has many of the characteristics of a distinct language. As Mairie Robinson, editor-in-chief of The Concise Scots Dictionary (Aberdeen University Press, 1985), points out in her Introduction, Scots is more strongly differentiated from Standard English than any of the English regional dialects in the number of words, meanings of words and expressions not current in Standard English, in its strikingly different pronunciation, and in the loyal affection with which the Scottish people continue to embrace it. Scots is not a corruption of modern English; Scots and modern English evolved in parallel from Old English, with importations from many other languages. The Scot in Mr. MacIntosh's story is looking for his gaffer, a word used throughout the British Isles--not just in Scotland--to mean a boss. All the other words nyatter, nyaff, skelly, cack e'e, manky, broony , and gansey -- are uniquely Scots and are listed and defined in Ms. Robinson's dictionary. To call the Scots tongue Doric (meaning broad or rustic) is to perpetuate the notion that it is the speech of uneducated country folk, an idea still endorsed by snobbish anglophiles in Scotland. Lallans, of course means lowlands in Scots and has been used in recent years to designate a variety of literary Scots used by writers of the Scottish Renaissance movement, which is determined to preserve the ancient language as an artistic medium. Mr. MacIntosh has lived too long among the Sassenachs. I cannot resist the temptation to add two fine examples of names matching professions after reading Jerome Betts's article All in the Family [XXII,1]. First there is of course the conductor Simon Rattle and perhaps less well known is the old established firm of Cape Town undertakers by the name of Human & Pitt Ltd. By the way, is Mr. Betts perhaps a bookmaker? In EPISTOLAE [XXII, 2] Mr. Bernard Adelman writes, Bill Bryce, I have read... I have a hunch that he means Bill Bryson, and the reference is probably to his book, The Mother Tongue . A niggling point, but other readers may have been momentarily confused, as I was. How Bryson may feel about being conflated with Lord Bryce is anybody's guess. I shouldn't wonder that British telly interviewers were intrigued and probably a tad confused, too, for Ms. Hilary Howard got her reds mixed in No Boys Named Sue, But...: Carmine Cavallero was a nimble-fingered pop-Latin pianist who performed often on television. Carmen Dragon is the conductor. He made several albums with the Hollywood Bowl Orchestra in the late '50's and early '60's and is the father of Daryl Dragon of The Captain and Tennille fame. I enjoy VERBATIM so much and thank you; but I really miss the Paring Pairs game. Please consider reinstating it... at least now and then. [It is not simply a matter of reinstating Paring Pairs --I have to make them up, and after several years of doing so, my mind ran dry. Several readers offered contributions, but I felt that they were a bit off the mark. If I am again touched by the muse, Paring Pairs may appear again. --Editor.] Several items from XXII, 2: 1. Anent the impact of Scottish dialects on the French; the reverse can occur. A World War I Punch cartoon showed a Scottish soldier outside a cafe in France explaining to a new arrival: Och, mon, it's an easy language. For example, if ye want twa eggs, ye ask for twa oofs, they bring ye three, and ye gie one back. It's an easy language. 2. To add to Insulting Nicknames, staffers at the late Houston Post referred to The Houston Chronicle as Brand X. 3. Also from the late Houston Post , as a practical guide to usage in stories: An African-American is any black with a college degree who isn't in jail or under indictment. Cynical? Racist? Nevertheless, an almost infallible guide to current media usage. 4. [EPISTOLA from Bernard Witlieb] The man's man was Shirley Povich, not Povish. 5. Add to A Catalogue of Cats cat-hairpins --much favored by Captain Jack Aubrey in the Patrick O'Brian novels. These are lashings to cinch the shrouds in closer to the mast, to allow the yards a few extra degrees of swing. My reference is to All in the Family. by Jerome Betts [XXII, 1]. The most aptly named individual I have ever encountered was a dentist who, early in this century, had his office in Netwark, New Jersey. His name was Robert Treat Paine. In the same city, during the same period, there was a dining establishment called The Celibate Restaurant. The management were not at all interested in the sexual practices of their clients and, indeed, hoped only to cater to the many yet single people of the city. A Sea of Words This dictionary was published too late for me. I became a Patrick O'Brian fan about 20 years and fifteen (of seventeen) volumes ago. O'Brian's is a roman fleuve recounting the 1790-1815 continuing adventures of his ship captain hero, Jack Aubrey, Royal Navy, and of Aubrey's best friend, Dr. Stephen Maturin, ship's surgeon, a naturalist and spy for the British. The enthusiasm of the public for these volumes has increased exponentially with encomiums like, The best sea stories, and then, The best historical novels ever written. There are fan clubs now all over the world for these enthusiasts. (Charlton Heston is head of the Southern California chapter.) For non-epopts: reading these is like reading Jane Austen--with every so often a hellish sea battle or shipwreck. In order to enjoy O'Brian's novels, I have read them with a Hammond Atlas at one side and the Oxford English Dictionary at the other. That is tedious. Had a Sea of Words been published years ago, I would have been most grateful. Anyone would have needed lexicographic succor. Such words as limicole, catharping, xebec, siriasis -- as well as boxing the compass, the sails of a full rigged ship, chains, deadeyes, shrouds, halyards, and stays, are all well explained in this book, including pictures of how a square--rigged warship had its sails raised, lowered, and tacked, an incredibly complicated and difficult procedure. Maps and diagrams of engagements are included. At the back is a bibliography of dozens of other Napoleonic era sea stories by other authors. As a physician, I can usually find errors in a lay author's medical orientation, but not with O'Brian! The only thing that I have not been able to find in medical dictionaries, the OED , or even in A Sea of Words , is his use of the word marthambles , which remains unknown to me. If every enthusiastic reader of Patrick O'Brian buys a copy of this book, it will be a best-seller. As one enthusiast, I would recommend the purchase. Murray C. Zimmerman Whittier, California Feminist Stylistics Three decades after the reawakening of feminism, no field of scholarship remains unexamined by feminist analysis, a process rhetorician Gay D. Claiborne has defined as an effort to deconstruct the patterns of thinking that lead to a world-view of reality as consisting of oppositional, hierarchically-ordered pairs of things. As they seek to undo the masculine/feminine, self/other, writer/ reader splits, according to Claiborne, feminist scholars... work at an elevated political level of grave potential outcomes, for feminist involvement focuses on the foundation of cultural paradigms constructed by socially sanctioned ways of thinking. (Gay D. Claiborne, pp. 143--44, Japanese and American Rhetoric: A Contrastive Study , International Scholars Publications, 1993.) In Feminist Stylistics , Sara Mills challenges socially sanctioned ways of thinking as she confronts the politics of language-use head on. Noting that language is not simply a vehicle for ideas, but rather a material entity which may in fact shape those ideas, Mills states that a further aim of feminist analysis is to draw attention to and change the way that gender is represented, since it is clear that a great many of these representational practices are not in the interests of either women or men. Her book establishes a framework for such analysis designed both to describe sexism in a text and, through a process she names feminist stylistics, to deconstruct the way in which point of view, agency, metaphor, and other features of the text are unexpectedly closely related to matters of gender. For lay readers and students who are not familiar with the prevailing concepts of mainstream linguistics, stylistics, and literary analysis, Mills's Introduction provides a helpful explication of current theories and positions in these disciplines. The opening chapters address such questions as whether meaning can exist in a text itself or is more the result of a negotiation between reader and text; whether male writing can be distinguished from female writing in terms of formal linguistic constituents; and how gender interacts with reader positioning, that is, the ways a text addresses and identifies its reader. Mills, a research professor in English at Sheffield Hallam University, looks at these issues in relation to conventional models of text in which a piece of written material is treated as if it existed in its own right with little reference to factors or constraints outside it--the socioeconomic factors of gender and race, for example. She then develops a feminist model which extends the parameters of a text into its surrounding context. This model, she asserts, makes space for the possibility, and in fact the necessity, of integrating notions of gender, race and class, and also sociohistorical and economic factors, into the analysis, and indeed into the definition of the text itself. In the second half of the book, Mills employs the strategies of feminist stylistics to expose the workings of gender at three levels of language--the word, the phrase or sentence, and larger-scale discourse. Her examples throughout are taken from widely diverse written materials, both canonical and nonliterary, including novels, newspaper articles, advertisements, and popular songs. Although the book is described lightly as a tool-kit-- and indeed Mills's Summary lists questions through which a text can be analyzed for its representations of gender-- Feminist Stylistics is a complex, many-layered approach to reading that enables a reader to look beneath overt content in order to see hidden messages which, while often unrecognized by both writer and reader, nevertheless reinforce and help to legitimatize stereotypical notions about gender differences embedded in our culture. Examining ready-made phrases referring to women, or in some cases men, Mills cites, for example, some familiar proverbs. A woman's work is never done seems to describe a natural state of affairs. The message is hard to counter because the speaker/writer using it does not take responsibility for inventing it but merely calls on preexisting commonsense knowledge. Thus, if a specific woman complains of having too much work to do, Mills writes, this phrase can be used to suggest that the... difficulty of the conditions of her [specific] working life is not as important as the general fact that women always have too much work to do. It might further suggest that someone who has, at any given time, completed all the tasks before her is not, by definition, a woman. Also examined are effects of the grammatical convention in English that the masculine is the standard or unmarked form, the feminine being deviant from the norm. One result is the use of generic words to refer to males only, of which Mills gives ludicrous examples like the headline on a news story about AIDS prevention among the elite, TOP PEOPLE TOLD: TAKE A MISTRESS. For all its lively examples and provocative insights, this is not a smooth text; it tends toward the prolix, partly because of the author's determination to cover all bases. By the same token it succeeds in floodlighting the protean ways gender is characterized in texts. In giving readers the means to recognize--and, if they choose, to resist--such characterizations, Feminist Stylistics is an important, ground-breaking book. Casey Miller and Kate Swift East Haddam, Connecticut Spirit Pond Runestones, A Study in Linguistics The Spirit Pond Runestones were discovered in 1972 by Walter Elliott, a carpenter beachcombing on the banks of the Spirit Pond near Popham Beach in coastal Maine. These are four small stones, ranging in size from that of an egg, to the largest, the size of two fists. One stone has a map inscribed on one side and is now referred to as the Mapstone. Another is an amulet. A third, the Christian Marker, has two words plus a K-rune, taken to mean Christian ( Kristinn ). The largest one is called in this book the Memorial Stone. Most of the discussion in the book is based on this Memorial Stone, which measures 7 11 and is inscribed on two flat surfaces. Author Chapman provides a transcription and his translation. The Maine State Museum acquired three (which three?) of the stones from the finder. Archaeologist Bruce Bourque sought help from a linguist to have them translated. He retained Dr. Einar Haugen, Professor of Linguistics and Scandanavian Languages at Harvard, certainly a leading scholar in his fields. Dr. Haugen declared in an article, The Rune Stones of Spirit Pond, Maine, in Man in the Northeast , No. 4, 1972, p. 77 that the stones were modern artifacts, which Chapman ruefully glosses as fakes. He seems to regard Haugen's statement of their modern origin as based, in part, on similarities to the Kensington Stone of Minnesota, long considered as fraudulent, although not by everybody. Robert A. Hall, Jr., had submitted an article to a learned journal in 1950 supporting the authenticity of the Kensington Stone. We are told (p.2) that the article was neither published nor returned. Prof. Hall published it as a book almost a third of a century later, The Kensington RuneStone is Genuine , Hornbeam Press, Columbia, SC, 1982. Chapman, convinced by nautical and navigational evidence that the Mapstone was genuine, felt that the other runestones of the group must be authentic too. He managed to make an appointment with Professor Haugen, who had called them modern. Haugen invited Chapman to visit him at his home, and in a lengthy meeting they discussed Chapman's findings. They agreed on most matters regarding the runic characters and on many features of language. But if Chapman had hoped to convert Einar Haugen to his own views of the authenticity of the stones, he did not succeed, for the Professor never deviated from his conviction that they were modern. He agreed, however, to keep in touch with Chapman and to answer whatever questions he had. Chapman states (p. ii) that Haugen had a scholar's open mind (a characteristic not ordinarily perceived by him in most scholars), and he seemed grateful for Haugen's comments. This lasted for a number of years (until Haugen's death, in fact). The professor had not been willing to provide a complete translation, for his time and energy were both consumed in a number of projects and obligations. Paul Chapman apparently had his own views of how long it took to provide answers to runic questions and seems to have, in some cases, expected replies by return mail. He compared the text of the Memorial Stone with the contents of two sagas (sometimes called Vinland Sagas). James E. Knirk, head of the Runic Archive of the University of Oslo, who read an early draft of one of Chapman's articles (pp. 31-32), questioned the validity of using the evidence of the sagas, which contain so much fictional and fantastic material. Chapman's defense of his procedure is that the two sagas on which he based his conclusions were mostly factual and dealt to a great extent with navigation, an area in which he claims competence and practical experience. He seems not too much at home in matters of language. His subtitle, A Study in Linguistics , bears this out. He seems relieved to be able to report that linguists had spent considerable time in studying the runestones without significant results or that they were quick to call something fraudulent. The book is, despite these strictures, worth reading, and judicious readers will probably separate the genuine from the dubious. The illustrations are pleasing and informative and the runes are neatly transcribed. The author makes an interesting attempt to account for several features of the runestones: the reason for their being left in Maine, the presence of Danish and other words in the inscriptions, the implications of runic inscriptions in which oghams occur together with runes, etc. One wonders whether Spirit Pond has spectral or religious connotation. Robert A. Fowkes Bronxville, New York Making the Alphabet Dance In Language on vacation (1965), Dmitri Borgmann redefined the obsolete term logology to mean `wordplay,' and he also redefined the field itself. Now another author takes a revolutionary approach to wordplay in a handsomely produced, brilliantly written book. Ross Eckler's Making the Alphabet Dance delves into the fertile substrata of logology that he calls letterplay, which considers words as collections of letters to be manipulated. His book shows the abundant possibilities in the field. Having edited Word Ways: The Journal of Recreational Linguistics since 1970, Eckler knows letterplay better than anyone else. He has witnessed it evolve through the work of many people, he has written many articles about it himself, and now he has traced its development with the precise logic of a chessmaster of language. Although letterplay can be confusing, Eckler deconfuses the forms and demonstrates the relationships between them. The text flows easily from one topic to another, peppered with examples both serious and humorous. Forbidden Letters, Obligatory Letters, the first chapter, presents several take-offs on Mary Had a Little Lamb, including this sless version: Mary had a little lamb with fleece a pale white hue, And everywhere that Mary went the lamb kept her in view. To academe he went with her (illegal and quite rare); It made the children laugh and play to view a lamb in there. In Chapter 2, Letter Patterns and Distributions, Eckler notes that written wordplay may go back as far as the origins of written language. He discusses palindromes and pangrams and many lesser-known forms based on patterns. For instance, word graphs represent words as letters connected by lines. This word graph links the letters in the word before : O - R | | F _ E _ B Word Fragments, the chapter that follows, presents similar ideas, but it involves parts of a word instead of the whole. Central to Eckler's word view is Chapter Four, Transforming One Word into Another. As he sees it, all of letterplay revolves around three simple operations by which one word can be transformed into another--insertion, deletion, and rearrangement of letters. One type of transformation, the word network, grew out of Lewis Carroll's word ladders (originally called doublets). In a word ladder, two words are connected by changing one letter at a time: LESS LOSS LOSE LOVE MOVE MORE In one type of word network, all words of the same length would be connected at all possible places. The next chapter, Alphabetical Order and Scoring, begins with a discussion of the last word in English and examines forms that rely on positions of the letters in the alphabet. This paragraph by Allan Simmons is an alphabetic pun: Eh! Be seedy, ye effigy, at shy Jake. A lemon, opaque. You are a stew-- Feed a bull, you ex! Why said? In Word Groups, the letterplay shifts to words that look ordinary alone but become unusual in combination. The chapter opens with word squares and variations, like the compound word square invented by Hairy Partridge: toe own bib ATE At To bE SET So wE iT MAY Me An bY The chapter on Number Words explores the fascinating things that happen when words and numbers collide. Many of the resulting forms are ideal for computer letter-crunching. Lee Sallows had to build a special-purpose computer to write this self-enumerating sentence: This sentence contains three a's, three c's, two d's, twenty-six e's, five f's, three g's. eight h's, thirteen i's, two l's, sixteen n's, nine o's, six r's, twenty-seven s's, twenty-two t's, two u's, five v's, eight w's, four x's, five y's, and only one z. The Afterword concludes with a look at words as single entities. It is divided into two sections--geometric views of words and a discussion of long words. Making the Alphabet Dance is the manifesto of a man whose love for words goes far beyond twenty-six letters. One of the most important wordplay books of the 20th century, it gives a name to letterplay and traces its evolution. Although the field is complex, both expert and novice can make new discoveries. And that, Eckler would be the first to say, is exciting: One of the great joys of recreational linguistics is the chance to do original work, to discover new techniques or better examples illustrating old ones. Such contributions can even be made by the diligent newcomer to the field; it is not always necessary to serve a long apprenticeship mastering past results. As Lewis Carroll wrote, Won't you join the dance? Dave Morice Iowa City BREVITER ... The Coiners of Language A penetrating study of metaphor as illustrated chiefly by Andr Gide's Counterfeiters . No index. The Words We Use The Words We Use is a very readable book about English words, though, from the notes at the ends of chapters, one infers that it was intended as an informal text. The reader gets the impression, though the author, educated at Oxford and London universities, was Professor of Applied Linguistics at the University of Hong Kong, that the book is either for beginning linguists or for interested parties from other disciplines. It suffers from one severe, reprehensible shortcoming: it lacks an index, something no book should be without. The book is short and simple, but not simplistic (a word used by some these days to avoid over-simplified ); it is divided into fourteen brief chapters, the titles of which will give a good indication of what they are about (for a change). Each chapter concludes with Notes and Suggested Further Reading, and from the fairly sophisticated materials listed, one is not deluded into thinking that this is a lightweight work. The chapters are headed: What is a word? The trouble with dictionaries The use of words: what happens when we talk How did words originate? How do words change their meaning? Word borrowing How are new words created? Words as structures How do we learn to use words? Choosing between words--words in context On the tip of one's tongue The written word Words and the poet Sticks and stones: words as reality There is an Afterword that is even friendlier than the text. Space does not permit a more thorough investigation of the content, save to offer the advice that time spent with this book will prove informative and rewarding. Laurence Urdang What to Do Shopping Though Spain may not be the bargain-basement destination it was in the 1960s and 1970s, it is still less expensive than most other European countries. Youll find a number of excellent deals in the Balearics, particularly on handcrafts, leather goods, glass, and ceramics. There are flea markets and weekly markets in many small towns (see box, page 77). On Saturday mornings in Palma, the crowds flock to the Baratillo, or flea market (even the signs on city buses call it by its English name). There youre sure to find everything from fans to fossils, and bargains include Mallorcas artificial pearls and laceoffered at liquidation prices by the sellers. Best Buys Mallorca and Menorca are justly famous for their leather industries. Since the 13th century, islanders have been making quality shoes, some of the finest leather and suede clothing, and exquisite handbags come from the islands. The focus of the leather industry in Mallorca are the factories in Inca; you can visit them and shop at the factory outlets (though prices will be lower than on mainland Spain or your home country, they may not be any cheaper than what youll find in Palma). Menorca, Ciutadella, and Alaior are known for their leather goods. Of special interest among Menorcan footwear are Abarcas, flat, slipper-like sandals worn by peasants for centuries. In response to the tourism industry, they have grown progressively less simpleall kinds of colors and skins are now availablebut you can still get the original, endearingly simple Abarca, in brown, navy, black, and yellow, for less than US$20. Mallorcan cultured (artificial) pearls, manufactured in Manacor (see page 49), are exported in great numbers. Theyre a good buy on the island, and prices do not vary much from shop to shop. There may be a small savings at the factory showrooms in Manacor, where youll have the biggest choice. Mallorcas embroidered linens for the table and bed are quite attractive. The fair of Llucmajor, the second Sunday in October, is a great place to find excellent examples. Other towns known for embroidery are Manacor, Pollena, and Art. In Palma, the shops Can Bonet and Dana sell fine handmade embroidery. Woven cotton and linen are also a good buy. Look for the typically Mallorcan teles de llengues (painted fabrics, in green, blue, and pink, used for decoration in peasant houses). Handmade baskets are also a specialty. Renowned Mallorcan glassware has been manufactured on the island since the 14th century. The Gordiola factory, with a fascinating museum, is on the road to Manacor from Palma. Authentically Mallorcan are the pottery figures called siurells, painted in red and green on white on baked, whitewashed clay. Similar relics have been around since Phoenician times. They have a spout-like whistle, and rather phallic versions are grounded in fertility lore. Wines and many other alcoholic drinks are still cheap by the standards of the rest of Europe. This applies especially to foreign brands made under license in Spain. Cuban cigars are significantly less than you would pay elsewhere in Western Europe, though legally they cannot be taken back to the US. Shopping Tips Palma overshadows all other towns on Mallorca in the scale and sophistication of its shops. Palmas excellent selection of chic shoe, bag, and clothing stores is concentrated along Avinguda del Rei Jaume III, Passeig des Born, and Conquistador. Look out for jewelry along carrer Plateria, and try carrer Jaume II for clothing and fans. Plaa Major holds a craft market every Friday and Saturday. On Menorca, both Mahn and Ciutadella have smaller but attractive pedestrian-only shopping areas. Shopping Hours Most stores are open from 9:00am to 1 or 1:30pm, closing midday for lunch and siesta, and again from 4:30 or 5 to 8pm. Big department stores and supermarkets of Palma buck tradition and remain open all day. In summer, shops in resort areas may stay open until 10pm. Almost all stores are closed on Sundays. Entertainment Folklore and Festivals With the revival of island dialects has come a renewed interest in Balearic culture. Children learn many traditional dances, and shows are put on by folk dance troupes at resorts as well as during fiestas. The oldest dances are survivors from Moorish times, and are usually performed in mountain villages. Dances are held in Algaida on 25 July and 16 August and in Montuiri on 24 July and 15, 23, and 24 August. The dance of els cavallets is performed in Pollena on 2 August at the Da de la Patrona, and in Felanitx on 20 July and again on the Da de Sant August on 28 August. Another dance, the parado, resembles a courtly minuet: it is performed in Valldemossa in the square beside the monastery. The distinctive dances of Menorca include the ball des cossil, thought to be derived from Scottish dancing. The dance, something like the English maypole dance, is performed during the fiesta in Es Migjorn Gran. Late Island Nights In Palma and the major tourist resorts, discos are a primary diversion for the beach crowd. Theyre not as frenetic, though, as on sister island Ibiza, where the mayhem is legendary. You may be offered tickets to buy while lying on the beach, or even free ones if the owners are trying to boost a place, or if the tiquetero thinks that your good looks will be an asset. There are bars of all kinds everywhere, some local, but more often than not with French, British, Scandinavian, and German dcors, accents, and beers. Large package hotels offer entertainers operating in two or three languages to loosen up the older crowd with competitions, sing-alongs, and a more sedate sort of dancing. Hotels sometimes organize flamenco nights; even though these songs and dances come from Andalusia, they have become a feature of holidays throughout Spain. The shows are usually pretty touristy, concentrating on the more cheerful cante chico (light song) rather than the deep, emotional cante jondo (song of the soul). Still, the singers, dancers, guitarists, and flashy, colorful costumes are enjoyable to all but the purist. For concerts, the Auditorium on Palmas waterfront has a regular schedule of events from opera to heavy metal. Films are usually screened dubbed into Spanish, with rare exceptions in the biggest resorts. Ma has a charming outdoor cinema festival, Cinema a la Fresca, near Parc des Freginal, during August and September. Although Ibiza is best known for its gay nightlife, Mallorca, and to a lesser extent Menorca, also have a spate of nightlife options aimed at alternative lifestyles. In Palma, the best option is to contact the association Ben Amics (carrer Impremta, 1-1; Tel. 971/72 30 58) for a list of cafs, bars, discos, restaurants and hotels that are gay-friendly. Sports Although new leisure pursuits are drawing visitors to the Balearics, the primary aim of most summer visitors still revolves around sun and, most of all, water. Besides the beach, water sports, especially boating and sailing, are the islands primary draw. Swimming. Gently sloping expanses of sand, rocks to dive off into the deep waters of the Mediterranean, sheltered bay, or open sea: the choice is enormous, so try to find out what the beach is like before you choose your resort. For learning to windsurf (boardsail), choose somewhere with plenty of shallow water (such as Ses Salines on Menorca). Although lifeguards are rare, larger beaches do have first-aid stations. Just a few more words of warning: Beware of spiky sea urchins when swimming off rocks. Take along plenty of protective sunscreenFactor 20 or 30. Boating and sailing. The Balearics are a sailing paradise, with safe harbors and marinas a short cruise from quiet coves. Thousands keep their own boats here year-round. You can hire various sorts of craft for an hour, day, or week, at many beaches and hotels (but note that you will be required to produce a valid proof of qualification for a self-drive motor boat). The stately pedalo for two wont go fast, and its stable enough for adults to take small children with them. For sailing lessons, the Escuela Nacional de Vela de Calanova (National Sailing School) offers intensive beginners courses (Avda. Joan Mir, Cala Major; Tel. 971/40 25 12). There are also windsurfing (boardsailing) schools, and you can find boards to hire and conditions to suit everyone. Pick up the Boat Excursions leaflet put out by the Balearic Tourism Office for information about organized boating trips around both islands. Snorkeling and diving. Take your mask and flippersthe water is crystal clear, especially off rocks and away from near-landlocked harbors. To spear-fish you need a license, and must be 200 m (650 ft) or more from the beach. Scuba-diving equipment is for hire, if you have a qualification from your home country. To obtain this diploma during your holiday, you can take a five-day series of lessons, usually starting in a hotel pool and graduating to supervised dives to a depth of 12 m (39 ft). Fishing. Locals and visitors alike enjoy fishing from rocky shores and harbor jetties. Some experts say theres a greater chance of a making a catch in the cooler days of spring and autumn, and in the hours after sunset. To fish from a boat, obtain a license from the Commandancia de Marina, Moll Muelle Viejo s/n, Palma (Tel. 971/71 13 71), and for freshwater fishing in the reservoirs of Gorg Blau and Pla de Cber, obtain a permit from SECONA, Passatge de Guillermo de Torrela, 1, Palma (Tel. 971/71 74 40). Walking and Hiking. Mallorca in particular is perfect for dedicated hikers and novice walkers. Some of the hilltop castles and more remote stretches of coast can only be reached on foot. April and May, with a wild profusion of flowers, are the best months. In the hotter months, start early or make use of the long evenings. On Mallorca the northwest mountains make for the most dramatic scenery, to be seen on the climb to Castell dAlar (see page 39) as well as between the Monastery of Lluc and the coast. On Menorca, search for more elusive prehistoric sites, or take the cliff paths of the northwest or south coasts. The Balearic Government Tourist Office puts out a leaflet detailing 20 different walking excursions on Mallorca. Wear hiking boots or sturdy rubber-soled shoes for climbing over rocks. Golf. There are 10 golf courses on Mallorca, three of which are 9-hole, the rest 18-hole. All are varied and challenging enough for the best players. You can also hire equipment and take lessons. Beautifully landscaped Son Vida Golf (Tel. 971/79 12 10) hosts the Balearics Open, while the 10th hole at Golf Santa Pona (Tel. 971/69 02 11), at 590 meters (1,966 feet), is one of Europes longest. Tee off early: At times, youll spend a lot of time waiting for players ahead of you. Menorca has a 9-hole course at Golf Son Parc (Tel. 971/73 97 58) on the north coast. For further information, contact the Federacin Balear de Golf, Avinguda del Rei Jaume III, 17, Palma (Tel. 971/72 27 53). Cycling. In the spring, thousands of serious cyclists come to Mallorca from all over Europe to race over the island and grind up the steepest mountain passes. Summer tourists make gentler progress on the bikes theyve hired at the resorts. At any speed, a bike is a wonderful way to get around. If youre going to join in, check the brakes and tires and make sure a strong lock is included. Serious cyclists may want to contact the Club Ciclista Palma, on Gral. Ricardo Ortega (Tel. 971/46 75 71). Check out the Cyclotourism Guide put out by the Balearic Tourist Office; it details 10 rides on Mallorca and four in Menorca. Bird-watching. The islands resident birds would be enticing enough, but its the visiting species that generate most excitement. Migrants from Africa stop to rest in the Balearics, and some stay for the summer. Birds of prey that are rare elsewhere in Europe are often spotted here, and stretches of water and wetlands, which include SAlbufera and Salines de Llevant on Mallorca, and SAlbufera on Menorca, attract waterfowl. Horseback Riding. Ranches (ranchos) and stables are scattered over both islands, so you can hire a mount and go off horseback riding. For more information, contact the Club Escuela de Equitacin de Mallorca (Tel. 971/61 31 57). Spectator sports The Balearics are part of Spain, but bullfights are not the big deal they are on the mainland. Theyre staged on summer Sunday afternoons in Palmas large bullring (Plaa de Toros). There are occasional bullfights at the Plazas de Toros in Alcdia, Felanitx, Inca, and Muro; Menorca has no bullfights. If youve never seen a corrida, be prepared to witness an ancient ritual that for aficionados is more art than sport. Choose your seat carefully: sol means youll be in the full heat and dazzle of the sun, at least at first. The more expensive sombra seats will land you in the shade, so sol y sombra means that youll get some of each, though the sun wont be in your eyes. Horse races are held every Sunday, all the year round, at the tracks (Hipodrm) at Son Pardo near Palma, and near Mahn and Ciutadella. The informal atmosphere and casual-looking handicap starts can be deceptive. The competition is fierce, involving foreign owners and horses. Betting is organized through a centralized tote system. Childrens Mallorca and Menorca The Balearics fine sandy beaches and sunny weather make them an ideal family destination. If the beach or pool begins to pall, kids can make a bigger splash on a giant waterslide. Aquacity at SArenal claims to be the biggest aquatic park in the world. The staff is safety-conscious, so parents can relax at the parks pools and cafs. The larger parks are quite expensive, so plan a long stay to get your moneys worth. Other water parks are found in Magalluf, Alcdia, and Sant Jaume on Menorca. More sedate is Marineland, west of Palma at Costa dEn Blanes, featuring dolphins, performing parrots, and sea lions. A boat excursion is an excellent diversion for both children and parents. Boats link all the resorts fringing the Bay of Palma, from SArenal to Portals Vellsif you wish, you can use them like a bus service. From Port de Pollena or Port dAlcdia, try a cruise around the dramatic cliffs of Cape Formentor. Sailings from Port de Sller go to the rugged northwest coast, including the canyon at Torrent de Pareis/Sa Calobra. In the south, trips from Colnia de Sant Jordi/Campos dock at the strange little isle of Cabrera. A cruise around the historic harbor of Ma on Menorca is also fun. Youll see rhinos, ostriches, and antelopes living happily in the Reserva Africana, a small safari park near Cala Millor on Mallorcas east coast. Visitors drive through as slowly as they like or ride on an open wagon. Older children will appreciate La Granja near Esporles (see page 34). On this beautiful old country estate you can see craftspeople working and lively folk dance displays. The charming antique train going between Palma and Sller (see page 37) is bound to be popular with children of all ages. Mallorcas other line, from Palma to Inca, is not as picturesque, but its a fun way of reaching Incas Thursday market. Working for Free Pays Off for Caring Lawyer Bruce Zucker chooses to provide pro bono legal aid to poor tenants over more prestigious work, and it has become his life's passion. Karima A. Haynes Sunday, January 5, 2003 Nothing in Bruce Zucker's upbringing seems to have prepared him for his life's work defending the poor. A tall, athletic man who favors pleated khakis and starched button-down shirts, Zucker grew up in an upper-middle-class enclave in the west San Fernando Valley, far from the poverty he now sees every day. At Taft High School and UCLA, Zucker said, the closest brush with poverty was reading newspaper articles about unscrupulous bosses withholding wages from garment district workers. Before graduating from Loyola Law School in 1993, Zucker interviewed with a prestigious Santa Monica law firm and deftly matched wits with the partners over lunch at an upscale restaurant. Yet as he chatted amiably with the partners, something wasn't quite right. "I just didn't get the impression that they were really happy," Zucker said. "They seemed to be more passionate about their weekend plans than the work they were doing." After the meeting, Zucker realized he had to ask himself some fundamental questions. What was his life's passion? What work would be so satisfying that he'd do it for free? He found the answer as he recalled his schooling. Zucker remembered the elation he felt in law school, when he helped resolve a landlord-tenant dispute while volunteering at a legal aid program. "There was no big, dramatic event in my childhood that made me want to help poor people," Zucker said. "But it doesn't take a bleeding heart liberal to rally behind a cause and do the right thing." Today, Zucker has dedicated his career to helping poor people gain access to quality legal representation. He is a full-time business law professor at Cal State Northridge, where in 1998 he founded the Justice Center, a hands-on program where students earn course credit by helping low-income people with landlord-tenant disputes. Through the center, about 30 indigent clients a year receive free legal help, ranging from filling out documents to receiving representation in court. The 35-year-old Northridge resident also serves as supervising attorney at the Van Nuys Self-Help Legal Access Center, a two-room office in a prefabricated building in the shadow of the Van Nuys Courthouse where the impoverished go to resolve all manner of legal problems. On a recent morning at the center, a lawyer dispensed advice in Spanish about divorce proceedings to a dozen people seated around a conference table. A law student and a client huddled over a stack of papers. And two female volunteers tended to people at a counter while other clients sat at computers downloading forms from the Internet. Zucker, who volunteers at the center several days a week, was recently honored for volunteering more than 150 hours in free legal services to the poor -- more than three times the time donated by most practicing attorneys, he said. The State Bar of California presented Zucker with its 2002 President's Pro Bono Service Award for his volunteer work with tenants' rights issues. The award was established in 1983 to give statewide recognition to attorneys for providing pro bono legal services to the poor. Zucker was nominated by the Van Nuys center and the Ventura County Superior Court, where he has served as a temporary judge in Small Claims Court and has volunteered with a court-sponsored program for at-risk high school students. Being acknowledged by his peers was a thrill, Zucker said, but his greatest honor comes from earning praise from his students. "Professor Zucker is a huge advocate for the little man," said Nicole Blackman, 21, a senior business major at Cal State Northridge. "He is one of those people who wants to see good things happen to good people." The toughest challenge in defending the poor is focusing on a case's merits and not on a client's circumstances, Zucker said. "I am a lawyer, and my job is to protect the interests of my client, but some cases don't have merit and I have to let them go," he said. "I don't take every case, but I take the clients seriously." On a recent morning at the Legal Access Center, Zucker sat at a small table with Jacqueline Green, 41, of North Hollywood. The single mother was trying to avoid being evicted. "He is treating me like gold," Green said. "He is a kind, nice-hearted man. He doesn't care if you are on public assistance: He's willing to help." Although he is doing what he loves most, Zucker said, at times, he gets worn down by his clients' overwhelming poverty. To relieve the burden, he frequently goes for long drives or talks shop with his wife, Kiren Dosanjh, also an attorney and Cal State Northridge professor. Looking back, Zucker said he doesn't regret his decision to dedicate his career to defending the poor. "Someone once said, 'Get a job you love, and you'll never work a day in your life,' " Zucker said. "I believe it's more important to get a job you are happy with and let things flow from there." Introduction AS is an inflammatory rheumatic disease mainly involving the axial skeleton. Forty percent of AS patients develop periphery mono-/oligoarthritis [ 1]. The SM of inflamed peripheral joints in AS (Fig. 1) in certain cases resembles RA with intense mononuclear cell infiltration forming foci similar to germinal centers (GC) that contain B and T lymphocytes as well as plasma cells [ 2, 3]. Recent immunohistologic analysis of five AS SMs demonstrated B cell rich infiltrates in two cases, whereas no B cells were detected in the three others [ 4]. The VH germline repertoire consists of 123 (44 functional) VH segments subdivided into seven VH families (see supplementary material). Antibodies are encoded by one VH segment rearranged to one or several of 25 heavy chain diversity segments (DHs) and one of six JHs [ 5]. The locus of rearrangement, individual for each B lymphocyte clone, is the CDR3 [ 6]. Only rearrangements with translatable nucleotide triplets lead to antibody formation, others are nonfunctional. There is a biased use of particular germline VH genes in the VH repertoire. An over-representation of VH4 genes in the autoimmune repertoire has been described [ 7, 8]. A negative selection of VH4 takes place in the peripheral blood lymphocytes from healthy individuals as a means of avoiding autoimmunity [ 9]. An antigen-driven immune response, characterized by a ratio of mutations leading to amino acid replacement to silent mutations (R:S ratio) >3 [ 10] within the complementarity determining region (CDR), takes place within the GC of lymphatic organs. Similar clonal development of antibody VH genes has been demonstrated in the SM in RA patients [ 11, 12, 13, 14, 15] and in reactive arthritis (ReA) patients [ 16]. The B cell subset in AS joints has not yet been characterized. We analyzed the repertoire and distribution of rearranged VH genes to elucidate B lymphocyte involvement in AS, and to investigate similarities to and differences from RA. Materials and methods Tissue preparation and staining A SM of the right hip was obtained from a 57-year-old man, who had suffered from AS for 30 years, requiring total endoprothetic joint replacement. Frozen sections (8 m) of the immediately snap-frozen tissue sample were screened for B and T cells by double immunohistological staining with anti-CD20 and anti-CD3 monoclonal antibodies using the alkaline phosphatase-anti-alkaline phosphatase and streptavidin biotin horseradish peroxidase technique [ 17, 18]. The stained B lymphocytes from serial sections taken at 50m intervals were isolated by microdissection, and DNA preparation followed (see supplementary material). VH PCR DNA was subjected to a semi-nested PCR for VH genes (see supplementary material). Thirty-five cycles of PCR, using a mix of six oligonucleotides specific for the different VH families as primers at the 5' end and a mix of oligonucleotides corresponding to the known JH overlapping to a part of the intron sequence as primers at the 3' end, were followed by 35 cycles with 1 l of the first PCR products and individual VH and JH primers (at a more 5' position) ( Table 1). A similar PCR without DNA was run as a negative control. Template generation and sequence analysis PCR products of the expected 350 base pair (bp) length were detected by standard agarose gel electrophoresis and purified. The purified DNA template was bacterially subcloned followed by plasmid isolation and sequencing. Sequences were analyzed by homology comparison with the EMBL and GenBank gene databases (see supplementary material). Results The VH gene usage Except for the negative control, all VH PCRs led to a product of the expected length (350 bp). All sequences reported in the present paper are accessible on the EMBL database. Seventy individually rearranged VH genes were characterized by sequence analysis (Table 2): 14 (20%) belonged to the VH1 family, 3 (4%) to VH2, 38 (54%) to VH3, 7 (10%) to VH4, and 8 (11%) belonged to the VH5 family. No sequences corresponded to VH6 (Fig. 2). Twelve genes in all were nonfunctionally rearranged, with the highest proportion in VH3 (18%), about 14% in VH1, VH4 and VH5, and none in VH2. VH1 genes Fourteen individual rearrangements represented VH1 genes. The most often represented VH1 gene was DP75 (four products) followed by DP10, DP14, DP21 and DP25 (two products each). Out of 14 distinct VH1-DH-JH sequences, 2 were nonfunctional (14%). CDR3 lengths varied between 18 and 39 bp (mean, 28.5 bp). Four of the VH1 products (F5-2c4, F5-3a4, F5-3b4 and 5c-4m6) deriving from different slides had an identically rearranged CDR3 and consecutively represent members of an expanding B lymphocyte clone (Fig. 3a). With 99% homology to DP21, they shared three mutations within the framework region (FR). Five productively rearranged genes were highly mutated with a range of 12 (F5-3a3) to 29 mutations to their respective germline (gl) gene. The R:S ratio for the CDR was >3 and lower for the FR, indicating antigen-driven mutation [ 10]. VH2 genes Three different VH2 rearrangements were determined. All were potentially functional and > 95% homologous to the respective gl gene. The number of mutations ranged from 2 (5c-VH22s) to 10 (5c-VH26s). R:S ratios were quite low, with a maximum of 2.0 in the CDR (5c-VH26s). CDR3 lengths varied between 15 and 45 bp (mean, 32 bp). VH3 genes Thirty-eight different VH3 rearrangements were characterized: eight were most homologous to DP47/V3-23 (21%), five to DP50 (13%), four each to DP54 and DP31 (11%), respectively, and three each to DP49, DP35, DP51 and DP77 (8%), respectively. Seven (18.4%) VH3 genes were nonfunctionally rearranged. CDR3 lengths varied from 6 to 35 bp (mean, 27.2 bp). One case of clonal expansion within the VH3 genes was observed, represented by the VH3-JH4 rearrangements 3a-19m6 and 2c-19m8 (Fig. 3b). These genes, with 95.5% homology to DP54, shared four replacement mutations, and six mutations each were localized at different positions. Twenty-three of the VH3 sequences were highly mutated (10-27 mutations). Except for one case, most of the mutations were localized in the CDR with R:S ratio >3. Three of seven nonfunctionally rearranged genes also revealed a pattern of antigen-induced mutation. VH4 genes Seven different VH4 rearrangements could be characterized; six were potentially functional. CDR3 lengths ranged from 12 to 45 bp (mean, 28 bp). The gl genes HUMIGHCAK, HUMIGHCAG and DP63 were represented twice each, and DP71 once. No homology to DP64/VH4-34/VH4.21 was seen. Five of the sequences had few mutations (one to eight) with a R:S ratio higher in the FR than in the CDR. Two VH4 rearrangements had a R:S ratio >3 in the CDR (5c-VH44a and 3b-VH45a). VH5 genes Eight distinct VH5 rearrangements could be determined; seven were potentially functional. CDR3 lengths ranged from 12 to 66 bp (mean, 39.8 bp). The 3a-VH54s gene was unmutated. There were 7-35 mutations in all other sequences. For five sequences (four were potentially functional), the mutational pattern revealed antigen induction. Discussion VH PCR Analysis of rearranged VH genes from B lymphocyte DNA by PCR and sequencing enabled characterization of the clonal expansion and mutational patterns without bias due to cell isolation procedures. By semi-nested PCR, otherwise used for single-cell analysis [ 19], one sole VH-DH-JH rearrangement might be identified. Besides the extreme sensitivity, there is a high risk of artificial amplifications because of contamination. A negative control without DNA was run with each PCR as a precaution: no contamination was detected. We cannot exclude the fact that highly mutated genes are amplified less efficiently [ 20]. However, since the respective data concerning RA and ReA have been established by similar PCR approaches [ 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16], a comparison is possible. The VH gene usage Within 70 VH-DH-JH rearrangements characterized in this study, all known human VH families except VH6 were represented. The descending order of representation was: VH3 (54%), VH1 (20%), VH5 (11%), VH4 (10%), VH2 (4%). Compared with the germline representation [ 5], an over-representation of VH5 and an under-representation of VH4 genes were remarkable. The representation of VH1, VH2 and VH3 genes corresponded to their respective germline representation. Our previous studies of the VH gene repertoire in RA SM [ 13] and studies using a hybridoma approach [ 8] revealed an over-representation of VH4 and a biased set of represented VH4 genes. A positive selection of VH4 genes, particularly within the plasma cell subset, was recently demonstrated in RA and ReA [ 16]. The DP64/VH4-34/VH4.21 gene encoding anti-I and anti-i specificity of cold agglutinins [ 21, 22], as well as anti-DNA antibodies in lupus erythmatosus [ 23], was not detected within the VH4 genes from AS SM. Another autoimmunity-prone gene, the DP47/V3-23 gene, was also predominant in AS. All of eight V3-23-derived genes were potentially functional rearrangements with >3% mutations to the gl sequence, and four reveal a R:S ratio >3 within the CDR that indicates a selection by antigen. V3-23 was also predominant in RA SM [ 24]. A comparison of the peripheral repertoire revealed that V3-23 was more often somatically mutated in RA than in healthy controls [ 9, 25, 26]. Except for VH4, VH5 and VH6, the representation of VH genes was similar to results from the peripheral VH repertoire from healthy donors [ 27, 9] as well as from a RA patient [ 28]. Clonal expansion Only two cases of clonal expansion characterized by identically rearranged segments were detected on different slides. An accumulation of further point mutations in the course of intraclonal diversification was seen in two offspring of a VH3 clone (both share four mutations and differ in six point mutations). Studies on plasma cells in ReA and RA SMs [ 16] reveal clonal expansion. In RA SMs, clonal B lymphocyte expansion in different areas of the tissue samples [ 11, 15] and recirculation within different joints and blood were reported [ 14]. The CDR3 The CDR3 lengths of genes from the AS samples were short, with a median of 27.2 nucleotides. A high variability, particularly in the productively rearranged subset and in the VH5 family, was noted. A similarly high variability was shown for polyreactive antibodies and rheumatic factors in RA [ 29]. Our data from RA SM revealed almost homogeneous CDR3 lengths of intermediate size [ 13]. CDR3 were much longer in the healthy peripheral repertoire, particularly within nonfunctional rearrangements (mean, 54 nucleotides) [ 9]. Mutational pattern Only nine rearrangements were not mutated. R:S ratios >3 within the CDR were observed in 30 genes (two were nonfunctional). Members of the VH1, VH3, VH4 and VH5 families carried more somatic mutations than the VH2 genes. Mutational pattern and frequency determine about one half of the characterized genes as memory B cells that probably stay in contact with persistent antigens in the micro-environment of the synovial foci [ 30]. A similar accumulation of memory cells in RA SM has been reported [ 12, 31]. Besides the highly mutated genes already described, one half of the characterized genes showed no evidence of antigen-induced mutations with low R:S ratios within the CDR. There was a bias to silent mutations in four highly mutated genes (2c-3m4b, 2c-21m3, 3a-19m8 and 2c-17m9). This pattern of mutations has been described for cold agglutinins [ 32], as well as for rheumatic factors, as a mechanism of selection against amino acid replacement to prevent the generation of high-affinity autoantibodies [ 33]. Nonfunctional rearrangements Except for VH2 (none) and VH3 (18%), nonfunctional rearrangements had an equal proportion of 13-14% in each family within the genes characterized in the present paper. Except for a bias to VH4, a similar overall proportion of nonfunctional rearrangements was seen in the peripheral blood of healthy donors using single-cell PCR of genomic DNA [ 9]. In contrast, no bias to elevated CDR3 lengths was seen. Conclusion An active immune reaction with GC formation occurs in the inflamed SM in AS. B cell affinity maturation with generation of somatically mutated antibody-coding genes characteristic for memory cells occurs in these GC formations, indicating an antigen-driven response. Comparable with RA and ReA, there is a biased repertoire of selected VH genes, whereas the panel of represented genes is different and clonal expansion was observed less frequently. Supplementary material Introduction By sequence homology of at least 80%, the VH gene segments are classified into seven families. The VH1 family has 14 members (9 genes with open reading frames), VH2 has 4 (3 genes with open reading frames), VH3 has 65 (22 genes with open reading frames), VH4 has 32 (7 genes with open reading frames), VH5 has 2, VH6 has 1, and VH7 has 5 members (1 gene with an open reading frame), respectively [ 5]. Materials and methods DNA preparation After the addition of 40 l H 2 O, 0.1 volume of 10 PCR buffer (mentioned later), 1% Triton X-100 and 0.5 l Pro-teinase K (100 g/ml; Merck, Darmstadt, Germany) was added and mixed. The volume was adapted to 80 l by addition of H 2 O. The sample was incubated over 45 min at 55C. After inactivation of proteinase (95C), 25 l of the solution was subjected to the first PCR. Seminested VH PCR First PCR. An oligonucleotide mix of VH1, VH2, VH3, VH4, VH5, VH6 and an oligonucleotide mix of JH-Intron 1,2-4,5 and JH-Intron 3,6 as primers (final concentration, 0.125 M each), 200 M dNTP, 2 mM MgCl2, 1 U Goldstar Taq-polymerase (Eurogentec, Seraing, Belgium), and the manufacturer's reaction buffer. First cycle: 5 min denaturation at 95C, 3 min annealing at 58C and 90 second extension at 72C; cycles 2-35, 80 second denaturation, 30 second annealing, and 90 second extension, with a final extension of 5 min. Second PCR. One microliter of the product of the first PCR with individual oligonucleotide primers VH1-VH6 and JH1-JH6, under the same conditions as the first PCR except for annealing for VH1, VH2, VH5, VH6 at 58C, and for VH3 and VH4 at 63C. DNA purification and plasmid ligation were performed with commercial kits following the manufacturer's instructions: DNA purification from the agarose-gel with the QUIAquick kit (Quiagen, Hilden, Germany), and bacterial cloning with the TA-cloning kit (Invitrogen, Leek, The Netherlands). For DNA sequence homology search and sequence comparison, DNASIS software (Hitachi Europe, Olivet, France), and EMBL Nucleotide Sequence Submissions (European Bioinformatics Institute, Wellcome Trust Genome Campus, Cambridge, UK) were used. The GenBank (National Institutes of Health, Bethesda, MD, USA) was also used. Abbreviations AS = ankylosing spondylitis; CDR = complementarity determining region; DH = heavy chain diversity segment; FR = framework region; GC = germinal centers; gl = germline; JH = heavy chain joining segment; PCR = polymerase chain reaction; RA = rheumatoid arthritis; ReA = reactive arthritis; SM = synovial membrane; VH = heavy chain variable segment. Introduction Synovial tissues isolated from patients with rheumatoid arthritis (RA) display biologic properties that differ from 'normal' synovium, and there is a rapidly expanding catalogue of biochemical and molecular changes that underlie this phenotype [ 1 ] . We have investigated the feasibility of using Moloney murine leukemia virus (MoMLV) based vectors to constitutively express cloned genes in primary human fibroblast-like synovial cells (FLS), with the long-term objective of defining the contributions of specific signaling pathways and inflammatory mediators to the destructive phenotype of FLS in RA. Prior studies have suggested that MoMLV-based vectors transduced FLS with relatively low efficiency [ 2 3 4 5 ] . We designed experiments to determine if viral titer influenced FLS transduction by concentration of retrovirus. In these experiments, we used a modified MoMLV vector (pRET2), designed to improve transcriptional stability in primary cells. We also employed the enhanced green fluorescent protein (EGFP) as a virally encoded transgene to optimize a rapid and efficient superspeed centrifugation technique for concentration of viral supernatant. Viral particles were concentrated to >10 8colony forming units (cfu)/ml by superspeed centrifugation at 20,000 g for four hours. Up to 50% of primary human FLS were transduced in vitro following a single exposure to concentrated viral supernatant. Materials and methods Cell Culture Murine fibroblast NIH 3T3 cells, amphotropic PA317 packaging cells, and Phoenix E ecotropic packaging cells were cultured in Dulbecco's modified Eagle's medium (DMEM)-high glucose (GIBCO-BRL, Grand island, NY, USA) supplemented with 10% heat-inactivated fetal bovine serum (GIBCO-BRL, Grand island, NY, USA), 100 U/ml penicillin, 100 g/ml streptomycin, and 200 mM L-glutamine. The FLS cultures were established from synovial tissues obtained during joint replacement surgery in RA patients [ 6 ] . The FLS were cultured in DMEM plus 10% heat-inactivated human AB serum (BioWhittaker, Walkersville, MD, USA), 10% fetal bovine serum, penicillin, streptomycin, and L-glutamine. The FLS were used between the third and tenth passage. Construction of retroviral vector and producer cells The EGFP cDNA was PCR amplified from pEGFP-1 (Clontech, Palo Alto, CA, USA) and subcloned into pRET2, a modified version of the MoMLV-based MFG retroviral vector, designed to optimize gene expression in primary cell lines. The pRET2 incorporates long-terminal repeats from the myeloproliferative sarcoma virus [ 7 ] , and a point mutation in the primer binding site [ 8 ] . A vector expressing the human cyclooxygenase-2 (COX-2) cDNA was constructed in the same backbone (pRET2.COX2). Amphotropic viral producers were established in PA317 cells (see Supplementary Material). Concentration of viral supernatant by superspeed centrifugation Fresh medium was added to subconfluent producer cell monolayers, collected 24 hours later, and filtered (0.45 M) prior to use. Centrifugation was performed at 4C in a Sorval RC-5B centrifuge, using SS-34 or GSA rotors. Following centrifugation, the supernatant was aspirated and saved for analysis. The viral pellet was resuspended in fresh medium by gentle pipetting. Quantitation of viral RNA by slot blot hybridization Viral RNA was quantitated using a slot blot hybridization technique. See Supplementary Material for full details. Quantitation of retroviral titer by flow cytometry based expression analysis for EGFP We developed a flow cytometry assay to rapidly measure the titer of infectious viral particles (Fig. 1). This assay takes advantage of the fluorescent properties of the EGFP transgene. A total of 2 10 5NIH 3T3 cells were transduced with serial dilutions of supernatant. The transduction efficiency was measured by flow cytometry, and viral titer was calculated at limiting dilution according to the following formula: Titer (cfu/ml) = (2 10 5target cells) (% EGFP+ cells)/ volume of supernatant (ml). See Supplementary Material for full details. Transduction of primary human FLS The FLS were plated in 6-well dishes at 2 10 5cells/well. FLS were cultured with viral supernatant plus protamine sulfate (5 g/ml) for 24 hours. Cells were analyzed for transgene expression 72 hours after infection. Results Concentration of viral supernatant To determine if viral titer influenced the transduction efficiency of FLS, we optimized a superspeed centrifugation protocol for concentration of viral supernatant. Prior studies reported improved transduction of primary cells with retro-virus concentrated by centrifugation at 6000 g for 16 hours [ 9 10 11 ] . We systematically evaluated different centrifugation parameters to minimize the time required for maximal concentration while preserving viral infectivity. A virally encoded EGFP transgene [ 12 13 14 ] was used to monitor viral concentration and infectious titer. We concentrated viral supernatant 100-fold in as few as four hours by centrifugation at 20,000 g , with complete recovery of infectious viral particles. This data is presented in the Supplementary Material (Supplementary Figs s1, s2, s3, and s4). Retroviral transduction of primary human synoviocytes Concentrated virus was tested for its ability to transduce primary FLS. As shown in Figure 2and Table 1, concentration of viral supernatant increased FLS transduction. We found that 14.2 8.2% of FLS expressed EGFP following transduction with unconcentrated supernatant, compared with 41.3 14.7% for 10X concentrated supernatant ( P < 0.01, compared with unconcentrated supernatant), and 47.3 14.8% for 100X concentrated supernatant ( P < 0.01, compared with unconcentrated supernatant). To provide confirmation that improved transduction of FLS was associated with an increase in the intracellular expression of a virally encoded transgene, FLS were transduced with a vector encoding human COX-2 (pRET2.COX2). The expression of COX-2 was measured by western blot on whole cell lysates [ 6 ] . A substantial increase in net COX-2 expression was observed following transduction with both 10X and 100X concentrated viral supernatant (Fig. 3). Discussion We are characterizing molecular pathways involved in synovial pathophysiology by overexpression of biologically relevant transgenes and dominant negative inhibitors in FLS. The limited expansion potential of FLS, combined with the low efficiency of existing methods, stimulated a systematic examination of various transduction techniques to identify a rapid and efficient method for stable genetic modification of FLS. In this manuscript, we report a retroviral vector system and transduction protocol with the capacity to express a viral transgene in 50% or more of primary human FLS after a single exposure to virus. We have subsequently used this methodology to successfully express a panel of transgenes in FLS (L Crofford and K McDonagh, unpublished observations). We believe this approach will be of value to investigators addressing similar mechanistic questions in FLS. Previous studies exploring the use of recombinant MoMLV vectors concluded that FLS were relatively resistant to transduction [ 2 3 4 5 ] , limiting enthusiasm for this approach. The basis for this resistance was unclear, but could be attributable to many factors including vector design, viral titer, or biologic features inherent to FLS. Our experiments differ from prior studies of retroviral gene transfer to FLS in several important respects that may impact on the observed results. First, our viral backbone is a modified MoMLV vector that incorporates genetic elements (myeloproliferative sarcoma virus long-terminal repeats and B2 mutation) associated with resistance to transcriptional silencing following proviral integration in primary cells [ 7 8 ] . While we did not perform a detailed comparison of EGFP expression in FLS using the modified and unmodified vector backbones, preliminary experiments suggested that the modified vector was superior (J Yang, unpublished observations). A similar, modified MoMLV vector has been used to stably express EGFP in human marrow stromal cells [ 15 ] , another fibroblast-like primary cell type. A second distinction is the use of EGFP as a transgene, whereas prior studies relied on lacZ or beta-galactosidase. The expression of EGFP is readily detectable in living cells by fluorescence microscopy or flow cytometry, and expression can be monitored serially over time in a single culture. In contrast to staining for lacZ, which is often complicated by background staining from endogenous galactosidase activity, there is no significant background staining with EGFP. We do not know if analysis of EGFP expression is more or less sensitive than analysis for lacZ expression, although we believe it provides more reproducible and quantitative data due to the absence of background staining. Using this vector system, we observed a low ex vivo transduction efficiency (14.2 8.2%) of FLS with unconcentrated supernatant (titer of 10 6cfu/ml) that was roughly comparable to prior reports. Centrifugal concentration of viral supernatant by 10- to 100-fold significantly increased the efficiency of viral transduction, with 50% or more of FLS expressing EGFP in several independent experiments using FLS lines from separate donors. Concentration of supernatant to viral titers exceeding 10 7cfu/ml appeared to have the greatest quantitative impact on improving transduction efficiency. Increasing viral titer to 10 8cfu/ml yielded an additional increase in transduction efficiency in some, but not all experiments. This observation suggests that factors in addition to viral titer may limit the maximum number of transduced FLS observed using these culture conditions. Lentiviral vectors have the capacity to transduce nonreplicating cells [ 16 ] , and may represent an alternative to MoMLV-based vectors for some applications. Conclusion We report a retroviral vector system and transduction methodology that achieve stable transgene expression in primary human FLS with efficiencies of approximately 50%. These results establish the feasibility of using widely available retroviral gene transfer techniques to study the biologic impact of overexpression of specific regulatory and inflammatory molecules in primary FLS. Supplementary material Supplementary Introduction Synovial cells play a central role in the pathophysiology of inflammatory arthritis. Much of our understanding of this biology has been derived from the study of primary fibroblast like synovial cells cultured from arthritic joints after arthroscopic biopsy or surgery. Stable genetic modification of primary synovial cells is an approach that may be useful in defining the roles that specific signaling pathways or inflammatory mediators play in the joint destruction associated with rheumatoid arthritis. As our understanding of this biology improves, investigators have also proposed that gene transfer to primary synovial cells could be developed as a therapeutic approach to the treatment of patients with inflammatory arthritis [ 2 3 ] . Recombinant retroviral vectors are widely used in the laboratory, and in experimental clinical applications, to introduce new genetic material into the host genome in a stable form. Retroviral packaging cells routinely yield viral supernatants with titers in the range of 10 5to 10 6cfu/ml or higher, and titers of up to 10 7cfu/ml may be achieved in some cases. Physical methods to concentrate viral supernatants have been pursued with mixed results. Ultracentrifugation can be used to physically concentrate MoMLV-based retroviral particles, but viral infectivity is impaired secondary to damage to the envelope protein. Pseudotyped retroviruses containing the vesicular stomatitis virus G protein are more robust, and can be concentrated more than 100-fold by ultracentrifugation without significant loss of viral infectivity. However, because of the toxicity of the vesicular stomatitis virus G glycoprotein, only transient methods of virus production have been described [ S1 S2 ] . Bowles et al. previously reported a superspeed centrifugation technique for concentration of recombinant retrovirus [ 9 ] . A MoMLV based recombinant retrovirus was concentrated over 100-fold by centrifugation at 6000 g for 16 hours. Supplementary Materials and methods Cell culture The murine fibroblast NIH 3T3 cell line (CCL 92) and the amphotropic retroviral packaging cell line PA317 (CRL 9078) were obtained from the American Type Culture Collection (Rockville, MD, USA). The Phoenix E ecotropic packaging cell line was obtained from Dr Gary Nolan (Stanford University, USA). Isolation of amphotropic producer cells A transinfection technique was used to rapidly establish a polyclonal amphotropic producer line of moderate to high titer. The pRET2.EGFP or pRET2.COX2 plasmids were transfected into ecotropic Phoenix E packaging cells by the calcium phosphate precipitation method, using the ProFection kit (Promega, Madison, WI, USA). Retroviral supernatant was collected 48 hours after transfection, filtered through a 0.45 M filter (Nalgene, Rochester, NY, USA), supplemented with 5 g/ml protamine sulfate (Elkins-Sinn, Inc. Cherry Hill, NJ, USA), and incubated with amphotropic PA317 packaging cells for 24 hours. The transinfection procedure was repeated twice. Following transinfection with ecotropic viral supernatant, 100% of the PA317 cells were transduced with the pRET2.EGFP vector, as determined by fluorescence microscopy. The successful transinfection of pRET2.COX2 into PA317 was confirmed by G418 selection. These polyclonal populations of PA317 producer cells were used as the source of viral supernatant for subsequent viral transduction and concentration experiments. The presence of replication competent retrovirus was excluded by PCR for viral envelope coding sequence in genomic DNA isolated from virally transduced NIH 3T3 target cells (primers: 5'-AAG-GTGGTAAACCAGGGGGATC-3' and 5'-TGAGCAGCT-TCATGCCGCTATC-3'). Quantitation of viral RNA by slot blot hybridization A nylon transfer membrane (Micron Separations Inc. Westborough, MA, USA) was soaked in 10X SSC for 10 min and inserted into a BRL convertible filtration manifold system (BRL Life Technologies Inc. Gaithersburg, MD, USA). Each well was washed twice with 200 l of 10X SSC immediately before sample loading. Retroviral supernatant samples were directly loaded onto the membrane without further preparation. After application of the sample to the membrane, the wells were washed three times with 200 l of 10X SSC. The membrane was cross-linked with UV light (Stratalinker 1800, Stratagene, La Jolla, CA, USA) and stored for analysis by hybridization. An EGFP probe fragment (~800 base pairs) was prepared by PCR and labeled with 32P-dCTP (Amersham Life Science Inc., Arlington Heights, IL, USA) using a kit (Prime-It RmT, Stratagene, La Jolla, CA, USA). The membrane was prehybridized for 2 hours at 42C in 10 ml of hybridization buffer (final concentrations: 50% formamide, 5X Denhardt's solution, 0.1% SDS, 5X SSPE, 150 g/ml denatured herring sperm DNA), and hybridized with the denatured probe overnight in 5 ml of hybridization buffer at 42C. The membrane was washed twice with 2X SSPE at room temperature for 10 min, three times with 0.1X SSPE/0.5% SDS at 55C for 30 min, and twice with 0.1X SSPE at room temperature for 10 min. The autoradiograph was visualized by exposing the membrane to X-ray film at -80C with an intensifying screen. Quantitation of retroviral titer by FACS based expression analysis for EGFP The NIH 3T3 cells were plated in 6-well tissue culture dishes at a density of 10 5cells per well. The following day, the medium was replaced with 2 ml of fresh medium containing a defined volume of viral supernatant, supplemented with protamine sulfate (5 g/ml). After exposure to viral supernatant for 24 hours, the medium was replaced with fresh, virus-free medium and the cells were cultured for an additional 48 hours. At the conclusion of the experiment, the cells were trypsinized and analyzed by flow cytometry on an EPICS XL (excited by 488 nm light, using a 530 15 nm bandpass filter to detect the signal on FL1) to determine the percentage of cells expressing EGFP. In all cases, serial dilutions of viral supernatant were tested. Supplementary Results Optimization of the centrifugation protocol Duration of centrifugation Supernatant collected from the RET2.EGFP producer cells was centrifuged at 6000 g for time periods varying between 1 and 20 hours. After centrifugation, the supernatant was collected and saved for quantitation of residual viral particles. The viral pellets were resuspended in a thirtieth of the original volume of the supernatant. As measured on NIH 3T3 cells by flow cytometry, viral titer increased 14-fold after four hours of centrifugation, and appeared to plateau after 12 hours of centrifugation at 1.34 10 7cfu/ml (Supplementary Fig. 1). There was a proportional decline in the viral titer of the postcentrifugation supernatant. Even following concentration for as long as 20 hours, the infectivity of the recombinant virus was preserved. To confirm the viral titer derived by expression analysis, we performed slot blot hybridization analysis on viral RNA in the postcentrifugation supernatant and the resuspended viral pellet (Supplementary Fig. 2). Following centrifugation at 6000 g for four hours, most retroviral RNA was concentrated in the viral pellet. Almost no retroviral RNA remained in the postcentrifugation supernatant after centrifugation for 12 hours. Relative centrifugal force To further optimize the concentration procedure, we examined a range of relative centrifugal force (RCF). The time of centrifugation was fixed at four hours and the RCF was varied in a range from 6000 to 30,000 g . Following centrifugation, the viral pellet was resuspended in a hundredth of the original volume. Viral titer was quantitated by expression studies in NIH 3T3 cells (Supplementary Fig. 3) and slot blot hybridization analysis (Supplementary Fig. 4). We observed a progressive rise in viral titer as RCF was increased from 6000 to 20,000 g . At a RCF of 20,000 g , the titer of the resuspended pellet reached a plateau value of 1.3 10 8cfu/ml. Further concentration of viral particles was not achieved by increasing RCF above 20,000 g . Viral particles were not detectable by expression assay or by slot blot hybridization analysis in the post-centrifugation supernatant at an RCF of 20,000 g or higher. The expression data also suggested that centrifugation at a RCF as high as 30,000 g for four hours did not affect viability of the recombinant retrovirus. Supplementary Discussion The FLS are the principal cell type of sublining synovial tissue. Proliferation of FLS is observed in RA, a debilitating condition that affects as many as 1-2% of adult individuals worldwide. Primary FLS cultures can be established following arthroscopic biopsy or surgical resection of synovium from the joint. Protease digested synovial tissues placed in culture rapidly yield fibroblast-like cells. After three passages, these primary cultures are depleted of macrophage-like type A synoviocytes [ S3 ] . Doubling time is stable between the third and the tenth passages, but marked reduction in proliferation rate occurs in later passage cells [ S4 ] . Retroviral mediated gene transfer is a commonly used technique to stably introduce genes into primary cells. The titer of retroviral supernatant is one of several factors that influence transduction efficiency. A variety of strategies have been employed to physically concentrate retroviral particles in an attempt to further increase viral titer and improve the efficiency of target cell transduction. Centrifugation of retroviral supernatant is a potentially attractive approach to viral concentration because of the wide availability of centrifuge equipment, the simplicity of the technique, and the theoretical potential for rapid processing of large sample volumes. Concentrated recombinant retrovirus, generated by super-speed centrifugation of retroviral supernatant, has been used to improve the transduction efficiency of primary cells, including hepatocytes [ 9 ] and endothelial cells [ 11 ] . In these prior reports, concentration was accomplished by centrifugation for 16 hours at a RCF of 6000 g . We used a recombinant retrovirus encoding the green fluorescent protein to optimize a protocol to rapidly and efficiently concentrate retrovirus by superspeed centrifugation. Our studies indicate that the time necessary to recover essentially all viral particles can be reduced to four hours by increasing the RCF to 20,000 g . The protocol does not appear to adversely affect the infectivity of the viral preparation, as the functional viral titer on NIH 3T3 cells closely matched the titer that was predicted by the degree of concentration. Although it has been reported that centrifugation may result in concurrent concentration of noninfectious viral particles or inhibitors of viral transduction [ S5 ] , we have been able to substantially increase the transduction efficiency of primary FLS using concentrated viral supernatant produced by our protocol. This optimized technique may be useful in generating high titer retroviral supernatants from production lots of relatively modest titer. We anticipate that this method will be effective in concentrating other pseudotyped MoMLV vectors and lentivirus based vectors, though additional testing will be required to evaluate its suitability for each vector system. While our studies were not initiated with the objective of developing a therapeutic protocol, these results may also have implications for clinical studies. The ex vivo genetic modification of FLS has been proposed as a potential approach to the treatment of arthritis [ S6 S7 ] . In these studies, FLS are cultured from synovial tissue obtained by synovectomy, transduced with retroviral supernatant ex vivo , and injected into another joint of the same individual. Approval for these clinical studies was based on ex vivo transduction data in preclinical animal models [ S8 S9 ] . Essentially, all data on transduction efficiency of FLS was derived using retroviral vectors that express lacZ or beta-galactosidase. Although most authors have obtained ex vivo transduction efficiencies of cultured FLS in the range of 1-5%, some have reported transduction efficiencies up to 20%. Preactivation of FLS with tumor necrosis factor , however, may increase transduction efficiency levels to over 30% [ S8 ] . Abbreviations cfu = colony forming units; COX-2 = cyclooxygenase-2; DMEM = Dulbecco's modified Eagle's medium; EGFP = enhanced green fluorescent protein; FACS = fluorescence-activated cell sorting; FLS = fibroblast-like synovial cells; MoMLV = Moloney murine leukemia virus; PCR = polymerase chain reaction; RA = rheumatoid arthritis; RCF = relative centrifugal force. Introduction Marin County, located north of San Francisco, California, is distinguished among urban counties in the United States by its relatively small population (250,000 residents), by a median per-capita income of more than 200% that of the nation [ 1 ] , and by elevated rates of breast cancer that were first reported in the early 1990s [ 2 ] . The media has since pronounced Marin County 'the breast cancer capital of the world' [ 3 ] , and heightened community concern has inspired grassroots and scientific efforts to investigate reasons for the high incidence. Initial studies have suggested that elevated rates in white women living in Marin County and the San Francisco Bay Area (SFBA) are generally explained by the higher prevalence of established breast cancer risk factors, including higher levels of education and income, later age at first birth, and nulliparity [ 4 5 ] . Our previous assessment of breast cancer incidence trends in Marin County isolated the rate elevation to women aged 45-64 years at diagnosis [ 6 ] . Community and scientific concern over increasing incidence rates has nevertheless remained high, so detailed surveillance of incidence and mortality rates has continued. It has been estimated that only 45-55% of breast cancer cases in the United States are explained by established risk factors such as income, reproductive factors, and family history [ 7 ] . Distinctive breast cancer incidence and mortality patterns in well-defined populations may therefore inform etiologic understanding. For this reason, and as part of ongoing regional cancer surveillance efforts, we analyzed the most recent breast cancer incidence and mortality data available for Marin County and compared these rates and trends with those from other areas in California. Materials and methods Cancer incidence and mortality data We obtained cancer incidence and mortality data for Marin County and other California counties from the California Cancer Registry and the California Office of Vital Statistics, respectively. Analyses were based on new cases of invasive breast cancer ( International Classification of Diseases - Oncology , 2nd edition, site codes 50.0-50.9 excluding histology codes 9590-9989; invasive cases only) and breast cancer deaths ( International Classification of Disease , 10th edition, site codes C50-C509) during the period 1 January 1990-31 December 1999. We excluded in situ cancers from this analysis because of ongoing controversy over the diagnosis and malignant potential of these tumors [ 8 ] . We additionally limited the analyses to white, non-Hispanic women because of the marked variation in breast cancer incidence by race/ethnicity, and because of the small and unstable numbers of cases and deaths ( n <10 each year) among African-American, Hispanic, and Asian/Pacific Islander women in Marin County. Rate calculation and statistical considerations Using population estimates obtained from the California Department of Finance [ 9 ] , we calculated incidence and mortality rates for the individual years 1990-1999 as well as for the 5-year period 1995-1999 for three geographic areas: Marin County, the rest of the SFBA (Alameda, Contra Costa, San Francisco, San Mateo, and Santa Clara counties), and other urban counties in California. The urban counties, which were defined as US Census Bureau-designated urban areas or as containing at least one city of at least 50,000 residents, included Butte, El Dorado, Fresno, Kern, Los Angeles, Madera, Merced, Monterey, Napa, Orange, Placer, Riverside, Sacramento, San Bernardino, San Diego, San Joaquin, San Luis Obispo, Santa Barbara, Santa Cruz, Shasta, Solano, Sonoma, Stanislaus, Sutter, Tulare, Ventura, Yolo, and Yuba counties. We excluded rural counties from the comparison because of the consistent association between urban residence and breast cancer [ 10 ] . SEER*Stat software [ 11 ] was used to compute the rates, to age adjust them to the year 2000 US standard population, to produce the 95% confidence interval (CI), and to conduct weighted linear regression to estimate average annual percentage changes, which were evaluated for statistical significance with a two-sided P value of 0.05. The American Joint Commission on Cancer, 3 rdedition staging was used to calculate stage-specific rates. Results Incidence trends Incidence rates of invasive breast cancer among white women in Marin County show a distinctly increasing trend over the past decade (Fig. 1). Linear regression showed that breast cancer rates increased 37% in Marin County between 1990 and 1999, but increased only 3% in the rest of the SFBA and other urban counties in California. The annual rate of increase (3.6; 95% CI, 1.8-5.5) was, on average, six times higher in Marin County than in comparison areas (Table 1). In addition, there was a significant 20% increase in incidence in Marin County during the 1-year period between 1998 (191 cases per 100,000; 95% CI, 167-219) and 1999 (230 cases per 100,000; 95% CI, 203-261). Our previous study of Marin County incidence trends showed that, between 1991 and 1997, rates increased at a faster pace among women aged 45-64 years than among women of other ages [ 6 ] . The present analyses confirm and update these observations, and show that the large rate increase between 1990 and 1999 was limited almost entirely to women aged 45-64 years, who represented about one-half of the breast cancer cases diagnosed in the county. Breast cancer incidence increased 79% between 1990 and 1999 among Marin County women aged 45-64 years, an average annual increase of 6.7% (Table 1). Trends were stable in women of similar age in other regions as well as in women aged <45 and 65 years regardless of region (Fig. 2). By 1996, breast cancer rates in Marin County women aged 45-64 years approached the magnitude of those aged 65 years in other counties (Fig. 2). Comparison of average annual incidence rates By the end of the decade, breast cancer rates continued to be substantially higher in Marin County than in other parts of California, including other parts of the SFBA. Annual, age-adjusted breast cancer incidence rates for Marin County averaged over the five most recent years for which we have data (1995-1999) exceeded, by at least 20%, those from any single other urban county in California, and they were 28% higher than rates for other SFBA counties and were 38% higher than rates for other urban counties combined (Table 2). Among women aged 45-64 years, average incidence rates were 58% higher in Marin County than in the rest of the SFBA and were 72% higher than in other urban California counties. Nearly all of the excess in overall rates was for early-stage (stage I/stage II) disease, for which Marin County rates (175 cases per 100,000; 95% CI, 165-187) were 31% higher than those for the rest of the SFBA (134 cases per 100,000; 95% CI, 131-136) and were 48% higher than those for other urban California counties (119 cases per 100,000; 95% CI, 117-120). Rates of later-stage (stage III/stage IV) disease were not significantly different in Marin County (15 cases per 100,000; 95% CI, 12-19) as compared with those in other areas (SFBA: 13 cases per 100,000; 95% CI, 12-14; other urban California counties: 14 cases per 100,000; 95% CI, 13-14). Mortality trends Despite the excess in early-stage tumors, breast cancer mortality rates have been decreasing more slowly in Marin County than they have been in other parts of the state. Whereas breast cancer mortality declined significantly at 2-3% per year in other parts of California between 1990 and 1999, Marin County rates decreased less than 1% per year; this change was not statistically significantly different from zero (Table 1). Five-year average (1995-1999) breast cancer death rates in Marin County women were 25% higher than those rates observed for other parts of the SFBA and urban California counties (Table 2). Among women age 45-64 years, mortality rates increased 1.9% per year in Marin County while decreasing 3-4.5% per year in other SFBA and urban California counties. Discussion Patterns of breast cancer incidence and mortality in Marin County, California, have deviated markedly from those observed in other parts of the state over the past decade. These findings demonstrate the public health burden of breast cancer in this community, but also have the potential to serve as a source of hypothesis generation as regards the association between higher socioeconomic status and breast cancer. Cancer incidence patterns in Marin County have been informative in the past; the soaring incidence of endometrial cancer there in the 1970s [ 12 ] was ultimately linked to the utilization of estrogen therapy by postmenopausal women. The higher breast cancer incidence in Marin County has been attributed to its unique and uniform sociodemographic characteristics [ 4 ] , which correspond to a higher prevalence of women with known breast cancer risk factors. With a relatively small population for an urban county, Marin County was one of the wealthiest counties in the United States in 2000, with a median per-capita income of almost US$58,000, about 200% higher than the state and national medians [ 1 ] . Marin County consistently ranks among counties in the nation with the most highly educated populations, with at least 44% of adults having a bachelor's degree, which is 220% higher than the national rate in 1990 [ 13 ] . It also has a higher percentage of white, non-Hispanic residents (80%) than surrounding counties [ 9 ] . In accordance with its high socioeconomic status, Marin County has higher proportions of women with other established breast cancer risk factors, including lower parity [ 4 ] and later age at childbearing. In 1994, 71% of the live births to white women were to mothers aged 30 years and over in Marin County, as compared with 46% in California [ 14 ] . In addition, 69% of all women aged 55-64 years and 47% of all women aged 45 and over reported using hormone replacement therapy as part of a community health survey conducted in Marin County in 2001 (RRE, unpublished data, 2002) although comparable figures are not available for the state. Prehn and West, using 1990 census data, calculated breast cancer incidence rates for aggregations of census block groups matched to Marin County on characteristics associated with higher breast cancer risk (percentage white population, urban status, average parity, median household income, percentage of persons with a college degree, percentage of persons with a working-class occupation, and percentage of households living below the poverty line), and found rates in the matched areas to be comparable with those in Marin County [ 4 ] . In another study using interview-based information, higher breast cancer incidence rates among white women in the SFBA were also fully explained by the distribution of parity, age at first birth, months of breast-feeding, age at menarche, and age at menopause [ 5 ] . Other previous analyses of nationwide variation in breast cancer incidence and mortality found most of it attributable to the distribution of known breast cancer risk factors [ 15 16 ] . It thus seems likely that a substantial part of the excess incidence observed in Marin County is explained by a higher concentration of women with a higher breast cancer risk profile. The increasing incidence of breast cancer might be explained by changes in the composition of the Marin County population over the past decade. Data from the US Census Bureau show that Marin County had relatively high levels of outmigration and had low levels of immigration during 1990-1998 compared with other parts of California [ 17 ] . Examination of the age-specific population denominators used in this analysis [ 9 ] shows that the proportion of women aged 45-64 years, which includes the leading edge of the 'baby boomer' cohort, changed very little over the decade in Marin County, whereas this proportion increased substantially in comparison areas. This deviant pattern could be explained by the outmigration from Marin County of women aged 45-64 years and by the immigration of younger women. As realty data show that the median single family home price surged to $530,000 by the year 2000, making Marin County one of the least affordable counties in the nation [ 18 ] , we speculate that women in the age group 45-64 years who may have had more children at younger ages left the county over the decade, while younger, perhaps professional, women who did not have children or who delayed child-bearing immigrated to or stayed in the county. Some support for this phenomenon is provided by the widening difference between Marin County and California in the proportion of live births to white mothers aged 30 years and older as compared with those aged younger than 30 years (ratio: 1.54 in 1994, and 1.60 in 2000) [ 14 ] . The numbers of women in Marin County with a high breast cancer risk profile may thus have increased further over the decade. We consider it doubtful that the observed trends are strongly biased by inaccurate cancer registry or population data. The trends observed in the rates were also observed in the case counts alone. Although some of the observed rate increases could be attributable to inaccuracy of the intercensal population estimates, particularly in the 45-64 age group, systematic population undercounts would presumably have produced similar increases in the incidence of other cancers, which we did not observe. Furthermore, the California Department of Finance population estimate for Marin County for the year 1999 (244,900) was less than 1% lower than the actual count performed by the US Census in 2000 (247,289). Regardless of this, incidence trends will be reassessed when revised population estimates benchmarked to the 2000 census become available. Breast cancer incidence has been positively associated with socioeconomic status across race/ethnicity, geography, and time [ 19 20 21 22 23 ] . Recent data from California show that rates for white women in the highest socioeconomic quintile were 27% higher than the lowest quintile and were 13% higher than the overall rate [ 23 ] . However, understanding of the biologic factors mediating this association remains incomplete. In a large, national, interview-based study conducted in the 1970s, adjustment for reproductive patterns, menopausal characteristics, hormone use, alcohol consumption, body mass index, height, and family history did not entirely account for the relations of income and education to breast cancer risk [ 24 ] . To achieve a more contemporary understanding of the contributions of established breast cancer risk factors, it would be helpful to reassess the roles of factors whose prevalence has increased substantially over time, including delayed childbearing [ 25 ] and use of hormone replacement therapy [ 26 ] . In addition, there are ongoing efforts in Marin County to identify novel risk factors relevant to this socioeconomic group. These efforts include a case-control study of adolescent exposures and experiences for which data collection was recently completed, and projects to identify environmental exposures unique to this group or to the county. It is uncertain to what extent the socioeconomic gradient in breast cancer, and the patterns we have observed in Marin County, might be explained by better awareness of breast cancer, by access to health care, or by utilization of screening programs. Screening mammography has been linked previously to breast cancer incidence increases in the United States, most notably the 4% annual increase after its widespread adoption in the 1980s [ 27 ] . In the state of Hawaii, mammography utilization accounted for 23% of the geographic variation in overall breast cancer incidence in 1992-1993 and for 36% of the variation among women aged 50-64 years [ 28 ] . At first glance, our observations of incidence excesses limited to early-stage cancers would suggest some relation to regional differences in screening. However, these patterns do not demonstrate other hallmarks of differential 'lead time bias'. There was no evidence of a Marin County deficit in later-stage cancers, mortality rates remained stable despite distinct mortality declines observed in comparison regions, and disparate age-specific incidence trends were observed within the larger age group (aged 40+ years) targeted by screening programs [ 6 ] . In addition, mammography utilization data do not suggest substantially elevated rates of screening among Marin County women. A community health survey conducted in Marin County in 2001 found that 68% of women aged 40+ years received a mammogram in the past year; this proportion is comparable with or only slightly higher than those for other areas with lower breast cancer rates (RRE, unpublished data, 2002). There are no data available to explore other aspects of mammographic screening in this population, such as increased frequency or better sensitivity due to higher volume [ 29 ] . The possibility of a real increase in small tumors is, however, underscored by reports of significant increases in small breast cancers among unscreened women in Australia [ 30 ] . United States cancer registries do not routinely collect information about patient income and education, making assessment of cancer trends by socioeconomic status very difficult [ 31 ] . Our findings of rapidly increasing rates of breast cancer in Marin County over the past decade, however, along with evidence that high rates there are explained by the sociodemography of the county [ 4 ] , cause us to speculate whether breast cancer rates are increasing similarly in other groups of highly educated and affluent women nationwide. While we can monitor incidence rates in Marin County because it is a county, we cannot conduct ongoing annual cancer surveillance in sociodemographically similar populations living in sub-county regions because of a lack of appropriate population estimates. When detailed 2000 Census data are released for subcounty areas, we will re-examine the relations between sociodemographic characteristics and geographic variation in breast cancer incidence. If our speculations are supported by these data, then Marin County statistics indeed serve as a 'canary in the gold mine' as regards breast cancer incidence in educated or affluent women, and they may also be prescient as regards breast cancer mortality. These observations should motivate us to intensify our efforts to learn more about the relationship between socioeconomic status and breast cancer. Conclusion The incidence of invasive breast cancer has increased significantly in the affluent population of Marin County, Cali-fornia, between 1990 and 1999. This large increase has not been observed in other parts of California and appears to be limited to early-stage disease among white women aged 45-64 years at diagnosis. Despite the preponderance of early-stage diagnoses in Marin County, breast cancer mortality rates remain unchanged, declining somewhat overall and increasing slightly among women aged 45-64 years. These findings, coupled with our understanding of the unique sociodemographic characteristics of this region, have the potential to serve as a source of hypothesis generation as regards the association between higher socioeconomic status and breast cancer. Abbreviations CI = confidence interval; SFBA = San Francisco Bay Area. Introduction A number of studies have evaluated possible associations between a polymorphism in the cytochrome P450c17 ( CYP17 ) gene and breast cancer risk [ 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 ] . Cytochrome P450c17 functions at key branch points in human steroidogenesis, catalyzing the ovarian and adrenal biosynthesis pathways for androstenedione, the immediate precursor of testosterone [ 17 ] . Three polymorphisms have been described in this gene: a C T transition at nucleotide 5471 in intron 6 [ 18 ] , a G A transition at nucleotide 47 in the 5'-untranslated region promoter [ 19 ] , and a thymidine substitution for cytosine at nucleotide 27 in the 5'-untranslated region promoter that creates a Msp AI recognition site [ 20 ] . The Msp AI polymorphism gives rise to three genotypes (A1/A1, A1/A2, and A2/A2). Although it was hypothesized that the polymorphism (A2 allele) could result in an additional Sp1 binding site with enhanced promoter activity and an increased rate of transcription [ 1 ] , this was not found in experimental studies [ 20 21 ] . Nonetheless, two studies found that both premenopausal and post-menopausal women with the variant A2 allele had higher levels of circulating estrogens than those with common alleles, indicating that the polymorphism may be in linkage disequilibrium with another functional polymorphism or that it may affect hormone levels through some other mechanism [ 4 22 ] . Effects of the variant CYP17 genotype on risk have been investigated in a number of studies, with some corroborative results and some conflicting results. In a multiethnic cohort, while breast cancer risk was not significantly increased for women with the A2 allele [ 1 ] , the A2 allele did confer more than a twofold increase in risk among those with advanced disease. Furthermore, late age at menarche was protective only among women who were homozygous for the A1 allele. The findings regarding age at menarche were confirmed in three other studies [ 2 4 9 ] and in a recent meta-analysis involving 4227 cases and 4730 controls [ 16 ] . These studies did not find that the CYP17 genotype was associated with risk of breast cancer, even when stratifying by stage of disease [ 4 9 16 ] . Feigelson et al . [ 23 ] recently reported that women with A2 alleles were less likely than those with A1 alleles to use hormone replacement therapy, presumably because of fewer menopausal symptoms due to higher circulating estrogens. It is clear that hormonal milieu differs for pre-menopausal women and postmenopausal women, and there is evidence that risk factors for disease diagnosed among the two groups of women may also differ, particularly those related to hormonal factors [ 24 ] . The majority of previous studies did not evaluate associations separately by menopausal status, particularly for effect modification by CYP17 on relationships between breast cancer and other risk factors. In the present study, we evaluated, separately for premenopausal and postmenopausal women, whether the CYP17 polymorphism was independently related to breast cancer risk or could possibly act through modification of other breast cancer risk factors. Materials and methods Population These research data were collected in an earlier case-control study (1986-1991) of 617 premenopausal and 933 postmenopausal Caucasian women in western New York. The detailed methods have been reported elsewhere [ 25 26 27 ] . The protocol for the present study was reviewed by the Institutional Review Board of the State University of New York at Buffalo and by all of the participating hospitals. Informed consent was received from all participants for the interview and for the medical record review. Women diagnosed with incident, primary, histologically confirmed breast cancer were identified at all major hospitals in Erie and Niagara counties. They were frequency matched by age and county of residence with controls randomly selected from the New York State Motor Vehicle lists (< 65 years) and the Health Care Finance Administration rolls (> 65 years). Interview data included medical, reproductive, dietary, and lifestyle histories. The majority of women were born in the United States, and all women reported country of birth of their parents to be in Western Europe or, to a lesser degree, in Eastern Europe. Women were considered postmenopausal if they were younger than age 50 years and had natural menopause, had bilateral oophorectomy or had irradiation to the ovaries. Women aged 50 years and older were considered postmenopausal if they had ceased menstruation. At the end of the interview, women were asked to provide a blood specimen; 45% of premenopausal women and 63% of postmenopausal women agreed. Among pre-menopausal women, there were no significant differences in socioeconomic, hormonal, reproductive, or dietary factors between those who gave blood and those who refused. Among postmenopausal women, controls who gave a blood specimen had a greater mean number of pregnancies (3.5 versus 2.9, P < 0.01) than those who declined. There were no other significant differences between the groups. Laboratory analysis DNA was purified by standard phenol/chloroform extraction followed by ethanol precipitation from frozen blood clots. PCR conditions were based on those of Carey et al . [ 19 ] . Briefly, genomic DNA (50 ng) was amplified using 50 pmol primers (5'-CAT TCG CAC TCT GGA GTC-3' and 5'-AGG CTC TTG GGG TAC TTG-3') in GeneAmp PCR buffer (50 mM KCl, 10 mM Tris-HCl, pH 8.3, 0.001% [w/v] gelatin, 1.5 mM MgCl 2 ; Perkin Elmer, Norwalk, CT, USA), and Amplitaq DNA polymerase (2.5 U; Perkin Elmer) with 2'-deoxynucleoside-3'-triphosphates (1.87 mM; Pharmacia, Piscataway, NJ, USA) in a 50 l reaction volume. The PCR reaction had an initial melting temperature of 94C (5 min) followed by 30 cycles of melting (94C, 1 min), annealing (56C, 1 min), and extension (72C, 1 min). An extension period of 7 min at 72C followed the final cycle. The resulting product (459 bp) was subjected to Msp AI digest (New England Biolabs, Beverly, MA, USA) according to the manufacturer's directions. Gel electrophoresis (2.2% agarose; Gibco BRL, Gaithersburg, MD, USA) of the resulting fragments revealed either the A1 homozygote (459 bp), the A2 homozygote (335 and 124 bp), or the A1/A2 heterozygote (459, 335, and 124 bp). Results of genotyping for the study were read from the gel by two independent investigators, and at least 20% of the samples were repeated for quality control. The assay was validated by confirming polymorphic Mendelian inheritance patterns in seven human family cell lines ( n = 134), each encompassing three generations (data not shown; NIGMS Human Genetic Mutant Cell Repository, Coriell Institute, Camden, NJ, USA). Statistical analysis Tests for Hardy-Weinberg equilibrium among controls were conducted using observed genotype frequencies and a 2test with one degree of freedom. To evaluate the role of CYP17 on breast cancer risk through mediating mechanisms, we first assessed differences in age at menarche, age at first full-term pregnancy, difficulty in becoming pregnant, and use of hormone replacement therapy and oral contraceptives among controls according to the CYP17 genotype. Data on hormone replacement use were only available for women who were postmenopausal, and few women beyond menopause had a history of oral contraceptive use, so only premenopausal women were included for those analyses. Odds ratios and 95% confidence intervals were calculated using unconditional logistic regression to evaluate associations between CYP17 genotypes and breast cancer risk separately for premenopausal and post-menopausal women. The odds ratios were adjusted for age, education, age at menarche, age at first pregnancy, reported family history of breast cancer, body mass index, history of benign breast disease, and age at menopause for postmenopausal women. Associations between hormonal/reproductive factors and breast cancer were further calculated within genotype strata. We performed tests for interaction by computing the crossproduct of the independent variables ( CYP17 and reproductive factors whose effects on risk varied by genotype) and including it in a regression model with its components entered separately. Results Data in the present study were available for 182 pre-menopausal and 214 postmenopausal women. The mean age among premenopausal women was 47 years, and the average age of postmenopausal women was 63 years. We evaluated information on the participant's country of origin and their parent's country of origin. In this fairly homogeneous population, all of the women were of European or Eastern European decent. A 2test of observed versus expected genotype frequencies for CYP17 among premenopausal women suggested a slight deviation from Hardy-Weinberg equilibrium. However, this difference was not statistically significant ( P = 0.08). The genotype frequencies for post-menopausal women followed Hardy-Weinberg equilibrium ( P = 0.65). Hormonally related factors appeared to vary by CYP17 genotype (Table 1). Among both premenopausal and postmenopausal women, those with at least one A2 allele were more likely than women with the A1/A1 genotype to experience early menarche, although differences were not statistically significant. There were also slight differences in age at menopause, with a somewhat later average age at menopause for women with either the A1/A2 or A2/A2 genotypes. Interestingly, postmenopausal women with at least one A2 allele were also less likely to experience difficulty in becoming pregnant and, correspondingly, tended to have children at an earlier age. Contrary to findings by Feigelson et al . [ 23 ] , the CYP17 genotype did not influence the use of hormone replacement therapy or oral contraceptives in the present data. Neither homozygosity nor heterozygosity for the A2 variant was associated with increased breast cancer risk (Table 2). In fact, there appeared to be inverse associations between the A2 allele and risk, particularly among postmenopausal women, in both unadjusted models and those models adjusted for breast cancer risk factors. Because there were few differences in relationships for those with A1/A2 and A2/A2 genotypes, these categories were collapsed and the associations evaluated between genotype and other breast cancer risk factors. Associations between breast cancer and hormonal risk factors by CYP17 genotype are presented in Table 3. For premenopausal women, late age at menarche was significantly protective only among women with A1/A1 alleles (odds ratio = 0.37; 95% confidence interval = 0.14-0.99). This effect was not seen among postmenopausal women. Differences in risk were also noted for other factors. Late age at first full-term pregnancy significantly increased risk among premenopausal women only for those with the A1/A1 genotype. Risk was also elevated among these allele carriers if they reported use of oral contraceptives and difficulty becoming pregnant. For postmenopausal women, it was women with A2 alleles who were most at risk of breast cancer with late age at first full-term pregnancy and with difficulty becoming pregnant. While effects of age at menarche, age at first full-term pregnancy, and oral contraceptive use were only significantly notable among premenopausal women with A1 alleles, interactions were not statistically significant (data not shown). Discussion We found in the present study that while the CYP17 Msp AI genetic polymorphism did not increase breast cancer risk, it appears to modify the associations between hormonal and reproductive factors and breast cancer. Interestingly, women with A2 alleles, those associated with higher estrogen levels in both premenopausal and postmenopausal women, were more likely to share characteristics associated with greater fertility. They were more likely to have an earlier age at menarche, less difficulty becoming pregnant, an earlier age at first full-term pregnancy, and later age at menopause. In accordance with previous studies [ 4 9 12 16 ] , later age at menarche was protective against breast cancer only among women homozygous for the A1 allele, although we noted this association only in premenopausal women. Furthermore, late age at first full-term pregnancy and oral contraceptive use increased risk only among premenopausal women homozygous for A1 alleles. Relationships were not as notable among postmenopausal women, although late age at first birth increased risk only among women with A2 alleles. These apparent discrepancies by menopausal status, although they may be due to chance, could reflect differences in the nature of premenopausal and post-menopausal breast cancer etiology, particularly in relation to steroid hormones. The initial report of increased risk of breast cancer and modification of other risk factors by variability in CYP17 was promising for breast cancer research [ 1 ] . Steroid hormones clearly play a large role in breast cancer etiology, and identification of risk associated with genetic differences in their biosynthesis and metabolism could greatly elucidate mechanistic pathways and make inroads towards prevention for public health. However, this report was followed by a number of studies that did not corroborate those early results. As more studies have been conducted, relationships between the CYP17 genotype and breast cancer risk have become clearer, particularly through the repeated findings of modification of risk through other reproductive factors. Because two studies have noted higher estrogen levels among women with A2 alleles [ 4 23 ] , it is possible that women with these genotypes have more lifetime exposure to circulating steroid hormones that is not abrogated by later age at menarche or by earlier age at first full-term pregnancy. Oral contraceptive use may similarly only impact risk in an environment of lower estrogens. Experimental studies [ 21 22 ] have shown that the CYP17 polymorphism in the 5'-flanking region of the gene does not influence binding to Sp1, as previously conjectured [ 1 20 ] . Nonetheless, studies in both premenopausal women and postmenopausal women have found that those with A2 alleles have higher circulating levels of steroid hormones. Thus, while the mechanism whereby the CYP17 polymorphism increases serum hormones levels has not been identified, it is probable that there are either effects that have not yet been elucidated or that the site is in linkage disequilibrium with another polymorphism that alters the function of the CYP17 enzyme. Results from this study may be impacted by a number of factors, foremost of which may be small sample size. While we had data on 395 women, stratification by menopausal status and additional stratification by CYP17 genotype to evaluate differential effects of breast cancer risk factors resulted in small data points in some cells, and therefore results are interpreted cautiously. Nonetheless, results support findings from a number of studies and are consistent with findings from the two largest studies to date: those from the Nurses' Health Study [ 4 ] and the study of breast cancer in Finland [ 9 ] . In addition, our findings are in accordance with those of a meta-analysis of 15 case-control studies [ 16 ] . Furthermore, genotype frequencies among premenopausal women deviated slightly from Hardy-Weinberg equilibrium, although these differences were not statistically significant. Previous studies have shown a range of genotype distributions. In a recent meta-analysis by Ye and Parry [ 16 ] , the A2/A2 genotype prevalence ranged from 7.7 to 23.4% among Caucasian women in 11 different studies. This variability in estimates could be due, in part, to small sample sizes. In the present study, we found that 11% of premenopausal controls and 12% of post-menopausal controls had the A2/A2 genotype, which falls well within this range. However, the prevalence of heterozygotes was higher in our population than in other studies. It is unlikely that this could be attributed to population stratification, since western New York is a fairly homogeneous area, and women were all of European descent and, for the most part, at least second-generation or third-generation Americans. Another possible explanation for the higher proportion of heterozygotes could be genotyping errors, although two independent investigators read the gels and at least 20% of the samples were repeated for quality control. Furthermore, assays were validated by confirmation of polymorphic Mendelian inheritance patterns in seven human family cell lines ( n = 134), each encompassing three generations. In summary, our findings support those of several other studies that variant CYP17 alleles modify breast cancer risk associated with several hormonal and reproductive factors. These collective findings may point the way toward further investigations into the role of metabolic variability in steroidogenesis and metabolism in relation to breast cancer risk, and target women who may be most at risk for the disease. Competing interests None declared. Abbreviations bp = base pairs; PCR = polymerase chain reaction. Introduction The San Francisco Bay Area reports some of the highest breast cancer rates in the world [ 1 2 ] . Within this region, appropriately adjusted breast cancer incidence and mortality rates are highest in Marin County, a small, urban county of 250,000 predominantly white, non-Hispanic residents located immediately north of the city of San Francisco. Averaged over the period 1995-99, age-adjusted invasive breast cancer rates per 100,000 white, non-Hispanic women were 199 in Marin County, 155 in the rest of the San Francisco Bay Area, and 144 in the United States as a whole [ 2 ] . Pronounced international and national geographic variation in breast cancer rates has been studied extensively [ 3 4 5 6 7 8 ] and has been attributed variously to population differences in the use of mammographic screening, diet, physical activity, body size, alcohol consumption, and socioeconomic and reproductive factors [ 5 6 7 9 10 ] . However, studies of breast cancer incidence among Asian migrants to North America have noted associations with age at migration, suggesting additional important influences of childhood or adolescent exposures or experiences [ 4 5 6 ] . With regard to Marin County, an earlier study by the Northern California Cancer Center (NCCC) using census data suggested that the high incidence was associated with the sociodemographic characteristics of the county and not with a geographically specific exposure [ 10 ] and that women living in Marin County have a higher prevalence of some recognized breast cancer risk factors, such as high education and income as well as low and late parity [ 10 11 ] . In 1997, members of Marin Breast Cancer Watch, a grassroots non-profit organization of breast cancer survivors and advocates, recruited researchers to help them to investigate causes of breast cancer in Marin County more thoroughly; these community members actively participated in all aspects of conducting this study. In this population-based case-control study of women residing in Marin County, we asked about generally recognized risk factors [ 5 12 ] and a variety of adolescent physical, psychological, and social factors. The main purpose in this first report is to compare generally recognized breast cancer risk factors, as well as childhood and adolescent socioeconomic factors and years of residence in Marin County for women with and without breast cancer. Although it was not the purpose of this study to explain the high rates of breast cancer in Marin County, one hypothesis of the study was that if exposures specific to Marin County were to some degree responsible for the high rates there, one would expect women with breast cancer to have lived longer in Marin County than control women after adjustment for generally recognized breast cancer risk factors. The thought was that finding such a difference would provide justification for a more detailed exploration of exposures specific to Marin County, whereas no difference would motivate research into other explanations. Thus, this initial report provides important information for planning future studies in this and other high-risk areas. Methods Case-control ascertainment Eligible cases included any female resident of Marin County with a diagnosis of primary breast cancer between July 1997 and June 1999 if under 50 years of age, and between July 1997 and March 1999 if 50 years old or older at diagnosis (Table 1). Dates were chosen to yield about 300 women overall, 100 under 50 years of age and 200 aged 50 and over. The sample size was planned with 80% statistical power to detect 2.1-fold odds ratios (ORs) between the highest and lowest quartiles of any continuous variable, 1.9-fold ORs for quartile trend, a 0.25-year case-control difference in age at menarche, and a 3.5-year case-control difference in years lived in Marin. Names and addresses of these women and their physicians were obtained from the cancer registry operated by the NCCC, a participant in the National Cancer Institute's (NCI's) Surveillance, Epidemiology, and End Results program. After receiving an introductory letter, women who did not refuse by postcard were telephoned by a study interviewer to arrange a time and place for the in-person interview. Control women without breast cancer were ascertained through random digit dialing (RDD) by using a modification of the method of Waksberg [ 13 14 ] and were frequency-matched to cases by age at diagnosis (within 5 years) and ethnicity. To maximize the chances of reaching residential numbers, seed numbers used for dialing included the area code plus the first five digits of the study's cases and all cancer cases diagnosed in Marin County in 1998. All possible numbers other than the cases' numbers were generated and randomly sorted. The RDD contractor also generated a batch of about 300 random numbers from marketing sources to increase the number of calls to households with women aged 65 years and older. Randomly sorted numbers were called sequentially. Two survey research companies (Survey Methods, and Field Research Corporation, both of San Francisco, California) conducted RDD and preliminary eligibility screening of controls. RDD was conducted from April 2000 to August 2001. The University of California, San Francisco, Committee on Human Research approved the study methods, and informed consent was obtained from all participants. Interviews The approximately 2-hour in-person interviews were conducted at a place of each subject's choosing. Because many questions required the recall of adolescent factors, the interview used three memory tools developed during the pilot phase of this study: a visualization exercise, a magnetic memory board, and photographs of girls at various stages of development in a variety of social settings. The magnetic memory board consisted of a sheet with rows showing the subject's age (0-20 years), the corresponding year, and memorable historic events that occurred during each year. As women went through the questionnaire, magnets with major life events (such as moves, school changes, births and deaths in the family) were placed in the appropriate row for the age or year in which the events occurred. All contemporary factors were asked of cases up to or around diagnosis date and of controls, up to the date of interview. The questionnaire included factors that have been summarized elsewhere [ 5 12 ] as being either established or strongly suspected risk factors for breast cancer. Women who did not wish to participate in the full interview were asked to complete a brief telephone interview that included a subset of the full interview questions. Questionnaire items pertinent to this report included detailed residential and school histories before age 21 years (such as location, ownership or rental, and dates in and out), highest level of schooling; total time of residence in Marin and other parts of the San Francisco Bay Area throughout the lifetime; ethnicity; childhood religion; parents' highest level of education and occupational characteristics at subject's age 5, 12, and 18 years; other measures of family's socioeconomic conditions including self-assessed socioeconomic status currently and before age 21 years; ages at menarche and menopause, and menopausal status; alcohol use and tobacco use and exposures; reproductive and breastfeeding history; family history of breast cancer; type and ages of use of female hormones; previous non-breast cancers; breast and cervical cancer screening practices; breast procedures; radiation treatments before breast cancer; and body weight and height at various times in life not including the times that the woman was pregnant or nursing or during the first 6 months after pregnancy. Case interviews were conducted from December 1999 to September 2001 and control interviews were conducted from April 2000 to September 2001. Data analysis methods We computed frequencies of categorical variables and means, standard errors, and medians of continuous variables separately for cases and controls. Continuous data also were categorized into quartiles determined by the control group distributions. Analysis of variance was used to compare unadjusted means and Wilcoxon tests were used to compare medians of continuous variables for cases and controls. Case-control ORs and 95% CIs were estimated for categorical and quartiled data by using logistic regression. Preliminary analyses made adjustments for 5-year age groups; these analyses included telephone interview respondents for variables asked in both the full and abbreviated interviews. After a review of results of the preliminary age-adjusted analyses, a subset of the many variables was selected for inclusion in a multivariate model; these included variables that are established or strongly suspected risk factors for breast cancer that might confound other results and those that were statistically significant in age-adjusted comparisons. Age was included in all models. In addition, ORs for residential history variables were adjusted for other variables included in the multivariate model, but not for each other, because the various residential variables were not mutually exclusive. Multivariate ORs were estimated with logistic regression and included only those subjects with in-person interviews and non-missing data for all the variables in the model. Analyses were conducted across all age groups as well as separately for women under 50 years of age and 50 years of age and older. These two age groups were chosen for separate analyses before any data collection, because the direction and magnitude of several important breast cancer risk factors seem to vary by age [ 12 ] . Furthermore, we specifically chose not to analyze women separately by premenopausal and postmenopausal status, because the many perimenopausal women do not readily fit into either category. ORs of less than 1 are given two decimal places; those greater than or equal to 1 are given one decimal place to achieve comparable accuracy. Residences at birth and before age 21 years were grouped into eight broad geographic regions based on the geographic variation of breast cancer mortality as shown in the NCI's Atlas of Cancer Mortality [ 15 ] . These regions were Northeast (Maine, New Hampshire, Vermont, Massachusetts, Connecticut, New Jersey, New York, Pennsylvania, Delaware, Washington, DC, Rhode Island, and Maryland); Great Lakes (Minnesota, Iowa, Illinois, Wisconsin, Michigan, Indiana, and Ohio); Plains (North Dakota, South Dakota, Nebraska, Kansas, and Montana); South (Oklahoma, Missouri, Arkansas, Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama, Tennessee, Kentucky, West Virginia, Virginia, North Carolina, South Carolina, Georgia, Florida, and Texas); West (Idaho, Wyoming, Utah, Colorado, Arizona, New Mexico, Alaska, and Hawaii); Northwest (Washington, Oregon, and Nevada); California; and not in the USA. Results Subject ascertainment and interviews Table 1shows participation rates for cases and controls, and the footnote gives details on the numbers and disposition of calls made through RDD. Ages and ethnicities of cases and controls that completed the full interview were very similar by study design (Table 1). Because only 15 eligible women (about 4%) had died by the time of the study, we did not conduct proxy interviews. Of the 305 cases and 300 controls completing the in-person interview, complete data for all variables considered in the multivariate model were available for 285 cases and 286 controls. Risk factors Personal and family health history As shown in Table 2, there were no substantial or statistically significant differences in the frequencies of cases and controls reporting a first-degree relative with breast cancer or a history of benign breast biopsy. Cases were somewhat more likely than controls to report previous radiation treatments for conditions other than breast cancer and the OR was significantly elevated in women under the age of 50 years (Table 2). However, on closer inspection four cases and four of the controls reported radiation treatments to the upper body, whereas two cases and no controls reported radiation treatment for plantar warts. There were no differences in average or median age at menarche for cases and controls (average was 12.6 0.1 for cases and 12.5 0.1 for controls) and no statistically significant trends with age at menarche in either age group (Table 2). Among women under the age of 50 years, cases were about half as likely as controls to have begun menarche at age 15 years or older, but the results were not significant (Table 2). In both age groups, cases were more likely to be premenopausal at diagnosis than controls at a similar age (Table 2). Similar proportions of cases (6.7%) and controls (7.3%) reported having had both ovaries removed; 2% of cases and 1% of controls had both ovaries removed before age 40 years. Cases were more likely than controls to have had a history of uterine or ovarian cancer (OR = 3.0; 95% CI, 0.60-15.1), but the result was not statistically significant. Some of the associations of reproductive factors differed by age group. Among women aged 50 years and older, compared with women who had never been pregnant, cases were more than twice as likely as controls to have been pregnant or parous, without breastfeeding (Table 2). However, there were no differences between these cases and controls in average age at first pregnancy (25.1 0.4 years for cases and 24.7 0.4 years for controls) or at first birth (26.0 0.4 years for cases and 25.9 0.4 years for controls) and no suggestions of trends with numbers of births (Table 2). Among women who breastfed, there was no difference between cases and controls in duration of breastfeeding (mean durations: 12.2 1.2 months for cases, 12.8 1.3 months for controls; categorized data presented in Table 2). Among women under the age of 50 years, cases were more likely than controls to have never been pregnant, but the differences were not statistically significant (Table 2). In categorized data, women with three or more births, or more than 12 months of breastfeeding, had significantly reduced ORs compared with women who were never pregnant (Table 2). As with women aged 50 and older, there were no trends evident for and no differences in average ages at first pregnancy (cases 25.4 0.8 years; controls 26.3 0.7 years) or first birth (cases 30.1 0.9 years; controls 30.4 0.7 years). Significantly fewer cases than controls had ever used birth control pills in both age groups (Table 2). There were no apparent trends with total time used; compared with women who never used birth control pills, the use of birth control pills for up to 2 years, 2-6 years, 6-10 years, and more than 10 years had ORs of 0.55 (95% CI, 0.33-0.93), 0.52 (95% CI, 0.30-0.89), 0.57 (95% CI, 0.32-1.0), and 0.47 (95% CI, 0.27-0.82), respectively. There was also no difference with current use versus past use. About equal percentages of cases (54.7%) and controls (55.9%) had ever taken hormone replacement therapy and there were similar percentages who had taken combination therapy (Table 2). Cases and controls had similar average and median maximum lifetime heights of about 65 inches (165 cm). There were no notable differences in highest or lowest postpubertal body mass index before age 21 years (the median highest body mass index for both cases and controls was 20.6 kg/m 2, and the median lowest body mass index was 18.5 kg/m 2for cases and 18.6 kg/m 2for controls) or in lowest body mass index after age 21 years. However, in both age groups, the highest body mass index after age 21 years was lower in cases than in controls (the median highest body mass index was 23.9 kg/m 2for cases and 25.0 kg/m 2for controls); categorized data are presented in Table 2. A similar result was found by using body mass index 1 year before diagnosis for cases and before interview for controls. We also conducted an analysis of perimenopausal and postmenopausal women that stratified body mass index by hormone replacement therapy use, adjusting for other variables in the multivariate model: in comparison with women who had not used hormone replacement therapy and had a body mass index of less than 25 kg/m 2, cases were significantly less likely than controls to report a highest body mass index of more than 30, regardless of whether they had used hormone replacement therapy (OR = 0.36; 95% CI, 0.14-0.89) or not (OR = 0.24; 95% CI, 0.08-0.75). Over all and in both age groups, cases were more than twice as likely as controls to have had four or more mammograms during the period 1990-94 (Table 2). Regarding other factors related to health care access and use, all but 2% of cases and 1% of controls had health insurance. For the period 1990-94, among women under the age of 50 years, cases were somewhat less likely than controls (83% versus 92%) to have clinical breast exams yearly or more often, whereas cases and controls were about equally likely (89% of cases and 94% of controls) to have an annual or more frequent pelvic exam. During this same period, for women aged 50 years and older, about 92% of cases and 83% of controls reported annual or more frequent clinical breast exams, and 93% of cases and 87% of controls reported annual or more frequent pelvic exams and pap tests. Socioeconomic factors Over all ages, there were no meaningful or statistically significant differences between cases and controls for current or past socioeconomic indicators, except that cases were more likely than controls to report their family's socioeconomic strata before age 21 years as 'upper' (Table 2). However, no difference was noted when women in this small category of women (3.9% of cases and 0.7% of controls) were combined with the 'upper middle' category (Table 2). The self-reported socioeconomic status at the time of diagnosis for cases and interview for controls was very similar for cases and controls: 9% of cases and 11% of controls reported their status as 'poor', 'working class' or 'lower middle', 36% of both cases and controls reported 'middle' and 55% of cases and 53% of controls reported 'upper middle' or 'upper'. Both cases and controls had a median of 16 years of education. There was some indication that case-control associations of socioeconomic factors differed between women 50 years and older and those under 50 years. For example, among women aged 50 years and older, cases were more likely than controls to report their family socioeconomic status as 'upper or upper middle' before age 21 years (Table 2). Although this finding was largely due to the small group of women classifying themselves as 'upper', consistent with this was the observation that 33% of cases versus 22% of controls reported their fathers to have been self-employed or business owners when the subjects were 5 years old ( P < 0.05). In contrast, among women under 50 years old there was a non-significant inverse association with increasing self-reported family socioeconomic status before age 21 years (Table 2). Consistent with this was the observation that case families spent significantly more time on average than control families in rental residences before age 21 years (6.2 0.7 years versus 4.4 0.5 years; P = 0.03) and cases were less likely than controls to report that their fathers had a college degree (40% versus 54%; P = 0.05) or that their father held a supervisory position (for example, 50% versus 65% at subject's age 5; P = 0.05). Religion Over all ages, significantly fewer cases than controls were raised with no specific religion, and among women aged 50 and over cases were less likely than controls to report having been raised in religions other than Protestant, Catholic, or Jewish (Table 2). Alcohol consumption Women with breast cancer were significantly less likely than control women to report having drunk alcoholic beverages before age 21 years (Table 2). Consistent with this finding was the fact that cases also reported significantly fewer average or median numbers of drinks than controls before age 21 years (median 90 versus 120; P = 0.01). However, women with breast cancer reported a higher frequency of drinking alcohol after age 21 years than controls, and there was a trend with increasing average frequency of drinking irrespective of age group (Table 2) that was statistically significant among women less than 50 years old. Tobacco exposures Although equivalent percentages of cases and controls had ever smoked cigarettes (59% and 55%, respectively), cases were more likely than controls to report more than 28.5 pack-years (Table 2; 28.5 years was the cutoff point for the upper quartile of pack-years smoked among controls). This association was also significant for women aged 50 and over, but there was no trend with increasing pack-years smoked below the highest quartile (Table 2). With regard to passive exposure to tobacco smoke, 81% of cases and 79% of controls had ever lived in a household with a smoker before age 21 years, and 60% of cases and 62% of controls had ever lived in a household with a smoker after age 21 years, with no trend for duration of exposure in either age group. Residence history As shown in Table 3, there were no substantial differences in geographic area of birth or places ever lived before age 21 years among women overall or women over age 50 years. However, among women under the age of 50 years, a significantly higher percentage of cases than controls reported having been born in or having ever lived in the Northeast or Great Lakes areas before age 21 years (only geographic areas with noteworthy differences are included in the table). Over all ages and among women aged 50 years and over, there were no notable case-control differences in the age of first living in Marin County, years before the age of 21 or lifetime years lived in Marin County or lifetime years lived in the San Francisco Bay Area (Table 3). Among women under the age of 50 years, cases had lived significantly fewer years than controls in other parts of the San Francisco Bay Area, but had similar durations of living in Marin County (Table 3). Discussion In this article we have focused on comparisons of generally accepted or suspected risk factors for breast cancer, including some characteristics measured both for adulthood and adolescence. Interestingly, cases and controls were strikingly similar for several factors known to influence breast cancer risk (such as family history of breast cancer, contemporary socioeconomic status, age at first birth, or use of hormone replacement therapy). For instance, although the overall rate of positive first-degree family history (19%) among cases is similar to that reported in other recent series [ 16 17 ] , the controls in this population had rates of family history comparable to those of the cases. One possible explanation for the homogeneity of cases with regard to these factors could be our focus on residents of a small, relatively homogenous, and affluent area, Marin County. The homogeneity of the Marin County population is supported by recent maps showing little variation in standardized incidence rate ratios for breast cancer among the census tracts within Marin County [ 18 ] . Another explanation could involve preferential participation in the study by controls with these recognized breast cancer risk factors over those without these factors. This seems unlikely given the high participation rates among those found to be eligible on the basis of RDD, but it is possible that there was some selection bias in women or households who were willing to answer the telephone call screening for eligibility. Further studies with alternative control ascertainment methods would be necessary to resolve this issue. In addition, appropriately adjusted comparisons of these factors in this high-risk area versus geographic areas with lower breast cancer rates would be needed to answer the question of how much of the excess of breast cancer incidence in Marin County might be due to patterns of these risk factors. Such a study is currently underway. A study that uses risk factor prevalence data from this study and other sources is also underway to estimate the attributable proportions of breast cancer due to specific risk factors. As mentioned above, selection bias due to differential participation by cases or controls with some risk factor of interest is always a potential concern in case-control studies. In attempts to minimize this problem, we sought an abbreviated interview for those cases and controls not able or willing to participate in the full interview. The preliminary age-adjusted analyses of individual risk factors used all women for whom information was available. There were not any notable differences in magnitude of the age-adjusted ORs that used all 657 participants and the multivariate results based on 571 subjects with complete information. Despite homogeneity in current socioeconomic status, our study suggests that among women aged 50 years and older, breast cancer cases might have been more likely than controls to have grown up in more affluent families, although the results are largely due to the small proportion of subjects reporting their family's socioeconomic status as 'upper' before age 21 years. In contrast, for women under the age of 50 years, breast cancer cases were somewhat less likely than controls to have grown up in more affluent families. That an effect of pre-adult socioeconomic status existed in the women aged 50 and over that was independent of contemporary socioeconomic status as well as established reproductive, menstrual, and other factors such as body size and alcohol consumption suggests that further attention is needed to understand the relationship of childhood or adolescent socioeconomic factors and breast cancer. Almost all women in this study had health insurance, and whereas women with breast cancer were more likely than controls to report having had four or more mammograms in the period 1990-94, they were about equally likely to report obtaining pelvic exams over the same period. This suggests that women who subsequently developed breast cancer might have had more mammograms than controls because they had more breast problems rather than because they were, in general, more regular users of cancer screening services than controls. Interestingly, in both age groups, women who had given birth but had not breastfed had a higher risk for breast cancer than women who had never been pregnant, women who had been pregnant but not parous, and women who had been parous and breastfed, although the result was statistically significant only in those aged 50 years and older. In addition, among women under the age of 50 years, women who breastfed for 12 months or more had significantly reduced odds of breast cancer. This finding is consistent with a large collaborative study [ 19 ] showing breastfeeding to be protective for breast cancer through hormonal or other mechanisms. That report suggested an urgent need to fully understand the mechanisms of the protective effect of breastfeeding so that some intervention mimicking breastfeeding could be developed and offered to women who have not breastfed. It is also possible that inability to lactate or suppressing lactation after giving birth might have a deleterious effect on breast physiology [ 20 ] , but we did not request this information from subjects. Given the relatively late ages of first birth in this population, one might not expect to see a protective effect of having ever given birth, because the well-established protective effects of pregnancy seem to be reversed for first births at about age 30 years or later [ 21 22 ] . This study had a higher percentage of nulliparous women (25% of cases and 26% of controls) than a recent study conducted in the Seattle area (13% of cases and 14% of controls) [ 17 ] . However, the California Teachers Study cohort, with a similarly elevated rate of invasive breast cancer of 151 per 100,000 person years among non-Hispanic white women between 1995 and 1998, reported a similar percentage of nulliparous women (27%) among participants without breast cancer in 1995 [ 23 ] . Consistent with previous findings [ 12 ] was our observation that cases were more likely to be premenopausal than controls, suggesting a later age at menopause. Despite the absence of a strong difference in age at menarche between cases and controls in this group, those women who developed breast cancer had relatively later menopause, indicating a greater number of years of active menstruation. Starting menarche at age 11 years or earlier is considered an established breast cancer risk factor, and starting menarche at age 15 years or older is considered an established protective factor [ 12 ] . In the present study, cases were somewhat less likely than controls to start menarche at age 15 years or older, but cases were not more likely than controls to have early menarche. A similar lack of association of age at menarche with breast cancer status was apparent in the large recent study by March-banks and colleagues [ 16 ] . The distribution of age at menarche reported by control women in Marin County was similar to that observed for women in the California Teachers Study cohort [ 23 ] . Disagreement remains in the literature on the direction and magnitude of effect, if any, of oral contraceptives on breast cancer risk [ 12 16 24 ] . Despite large studies designed to address such differences, chance, selection factors, changes in formulations, patterns of use, and different background risk for breast cancer might account for some of the variation in findings. In this Marin County study, we found a rather strong and significant inverse association of oral contraceptive use and breast cancer. However, the lack of case-control differences by duration or latency of use argues against a causal connection and suggests that oral contraceptive use might be a surrogate for some other protective behavior or exposure. Given the very high rate of use of oral contraceptives in this population, an alternative explanation could be that factors or conditions contraindicating the use of oral contraceptives might increase the risk for breast cancer. In future studies it might be worthwhile to assess why women chose to use, or not to use, oral contraceptives. In addition, there was no indication of large differences in hormone replacement therapy use among cases and controls, which was similar to a recent Seattle case-control study [ 17 ] , although any use of hormone replacement therapy was somewhat higher in the Marin population (55-56%) than in the women in the Seattle study (49-51%). In addition, the specificity of questions about types of hormone replacement therapy used and the sample size of this Marin study is insufficient to rule out the small increased risk (25-30%) observed in larger studies [ 25 26 ] or to examine in detail different hormone replacement therapy regimens, duration, or age of use. Appropriately adjusted comparisons of rates of hormone replacement therapy use in this area and geographic areas with lower breast cancer rates would be informative regarding the relationship of hormone replacement therapy use to the elevated breast cancer incidence in Marin County. Many studies have examined breast cancer in relation to body weight, height, and overall body size (as measured by body mass index). The general consensus has been that increased height might be associated with increased risk for breast cancer, and that obesity might increase risk in women aged 50 years or over or who are post-menopausal but might decrease risk in women under the age of 50 years [ 27 28 29 30 ] . Highest adult body mass index was strongly inversely related to breast cancer status both in women under the age of 50 years and, unexpectedly, in those aged 50 years and older. The average highest body mass indexes reported in this study (24.9 and 26.5 kg/m 2for cases and controls, respectively) were in the same range reported for subjects' body mass index 5 years previously in a recent large US study (25.5 and 25.8 kg/m 2for cases and controls, respectively) [ 16 ] and participants in the California Teachers Study in 1995 (24.8 kg/m 2) [ 23 ] . One explanation for the finding could be that mechanisms of weight maintenance might have contributed to the association. Because we did not ask about adult or recent physical activity in the interview, we cannot assess the impact of these factors on the body size results. In the Nurses' Health Study cohort, Huang and colleagues [ 31 ] reported that among postmenopausal women, weight gain was consistently associated with an increased risk for breast cancer only among women who had not used hormone replacement therapy. We found that cases had lower highest body mass index than controls both among women who had used hormone replacement therapy and among women who had not. It is possible in this affluent community that perimenopausal and postmenopausal women who are not taking prescribed hormone replacement therapy could be eating foods or taking herbal or other non-prescribed supplements to ameliorate menopausal symptoms that might simulate the effects of hormone replacement therapy. Unfortunately we did not collect the data to test this possibility, but such questions should be included in future studies. Alcohol use has been increasingly associated with both premenopausal and postmenopausal breast cancer risk [ 32 33 ] , including a report from the California Teachers Study, showing that recent alcohol consumption increases risk for breast cancer [ 34 ] . We found that although women with breast cancer were less likely than controls to have begun drinking alcohol before age 21 years, they were much more likely than controls to consume two or more drinks per day on average as adults. That the ORs for alcohol consumption in this study were generally higher than those reported in other studies suggests a possible interaction of alcohol consumption with other factors that have a high prevalence in this population. Cigarette smoking has not been consistently associated with breast cancer risk [ 12 ] . The elevated OR observed in this study for the highest quartile of pack-years smoked might be due to differential participation by controls with a lower pack-year history or differential reporting of smoking history by cases and controls. It is also possible that smoking history was confounded by factors not measured in this study, such as physical activity. For women under the age of 50 years, women with breast cancer were much more likely than controls to have been born or lived before age 21 years in the Northeastern or Great Lakes regions of the USA, regions that were in the upper deciles of breast cancer mortality both for the period 1950-69 and for the period 1970-94 [ 15 ] . Geocoding and other refinements of residence information might help to clarify which areas of first or early life residences might be associated with later risk for breast cancer. The similar average ages of first residence and total years lived in Marin for cases and controls do not support (but cannot completely rule out) the hypothesis that there is some agent specific to Marin County, such as a particular water source, that might increase the risk for breast cancer. These findings do not imply that environmental factors are unimportant in breast cancer causation. On the contrary, our and others' findings of increased risk with frequency of alcohol consumption show that a woman's personal environment can strongly influence her breast cancer risk. In addition, our result of higher risk among women under the age of 50 years who lived in the Northeast or Great Lakes regions before age 21 years might suggest a role of early environmental factors. Because control women in this study had such high rates of health insurance and use of basic screening services, it seems likely that they truly did not have breast cancer at the time of interview. This was despite a higher proportion of controls with established breast cancer risk factors such as family history and nulliparity than observed in control subject groups in other recent studies. Given this observation, a further intensive study of this or other similarly high-incidence populations might reveal factors proximate to breast cancer diagnosis that could enrich our understanding of breast cancer etiology in a high-incidence population. Some provocative clues from this first analysis suggest that some as yet unidentified correlate of oral contraceptive use might be protective and that consuming two or more alcoholic drinks per day might be deleterious for women in this high-incidence population. We were unable to examine the effects of other provocative exposures previously proposed by others, including exposures to light at night [ 35 ] and polycyclic aromatic hydrocarbons [ 36 ] . The observed early socioeconomic differences combined with a lack of differences in age at menarche or early body size also suggest that attention might be turned to patterns of early infection (or lack of infection) and immune response [ 37 ] . This study is among the first reported in which community advocates took part in all aspects of the research process, from formulating questions of interest and questionnaire design to monitoring progress of subject recruitment and data analysis and interpretation at regular meetings. This study provides important information for planning additional studies to understand reasons for breast cancer in this or other high-risk geographic areas characterized by a socioeconomically affluent population. Conclusions Women with breast cancer and controls had very similar distributions of age of first living and years lived in Marin County, suggesting that the County's high breast cancer rates are probably not due to geographically specific exposures. Despite similar distributions for several known breast cancer risk factors, case-control differences in alcohol consumption suggest that breast cancer risk in this population might be modifiable. This study might be useful to communities and researchers concerned with understanding the basis of, and means of mitigating, high local or regional rates of breast cancer. Intensive study of high-incidence areas might reveal other important risk factors proximate to diagnosis. Competing interests None declared. Abbreviations CI = confidence interval; NCCC = Northern California Cancer Center; NCI = National Cancer Institute; OR = odds ratio; RDD = random digit dialing. Introduction A characteristic feature of many cancer types is their ability to metastasise to the skeleton. At the skeletal site of metastatic invasion, the bone metabolism is dysregulated and bone resorption or bone formation, or both, is upregulated. Bone is the most common target site of metastatic invasion in breast cancer [ 1 ] . This is of clinical importance as metastatic bone disease is associated with increased morbidity and excess mortality [ 2 ] . To initiate successful preventive therapy it is thus imperative that the bone metastases are detected early [ 3 ] . The diagnosis of bone metastases is usually performed through bone scintigraphy. However, this technique is invasive and is not sensitive enough for detection of the very early stages of metastasis [ 4 ] . Biochemical markers of bone turnover are noninvasive and may potentially provide a more sensitive measure of metastatic skeletal invasion, but clinical applications of the bone turnover markers have not been thoroughly evaluated for such a clinical role. Degradation products derived from the 1 chain of type I collagen (CTX) have been shown to provide a sensitive and specific index of bone resorption [ 5 6 ] . Preliminary studies have suggested that the CTX marker may be applicable for monitoring skeletal metastases in breast and prostate cancer patients [ 7 8 ] . The epitope recognised in the CTX assays comprises the six residues AHDGGR 1209-1214of the collagen type I C-terminal telopeptide. The aspartyl-glycine site (DG) within this epitope is susceptible to spontaneous nonenzymatic rearrangement, as outlined in Fig. 1. CTX fragments derived from newly synthesised collagen are of the native peptide form ( L-aspartyl peptide [ L]), where the aspartic acid residue (D 1211) is on the L-enantiomeric form and is linked to the glycine residue (G 1212) through a peptide bond. Collagen and CTX fragments will rearrange with age to three age-modified forms: the isomerised form ( L-isoaspartyl peptide [ L]), where the bond between the aspartic acid and glycine residue goes through the -carboxyl group of the aspartyl residue; the racemised form ( D-aspartyl peptide [ D]), where the aspartic acid (D 1211) is on a D-enantiomeric form; and the isomerised and racemised form ( D-isoaspartyl peptide [ D]) [ 9 ] . The relative accumulation of the three age-modified forms is dependent on the balance between anabolic and catabolic processes in bone, and pathologic situations affecting these processes may thus also affect the relative amounts of the four CTX forms [ 9 10 11 ] . It has been shown that in Paget's disease of bone, a condition characterised by a localised upregulation of bone turnover, there is a significant increase in the ratio between the native peptide form of CTX ( L) and the age-modified forms ( L, D-isoaspartyl peptide and D) [ 9 ] . The use of CTX ratios may thus be indicative of the significant decrease in the residence time and therefore the average age of the resorbed bone collagen type I fragments in Pagetic patients [ 9 ] . This indicates that perturbations in the normally well-regulated process of bone turnover can result in changes in the half-life of collagen type I within the bone matrix. This in turn will result in increased amounts of the newly synthesised LCTX form in the circulating pool of CTX fragments that is reflected in the elevated ratios [ 9 10 11 ] . Metastatic bone cancer will also affect the balance between the anabolic and catabolic processes at the local site of invasion. The measurement of CTX isoforms, and the ratios between the native Lform and the age-modified forms of CTX, indicative of the age of the resorbed collagen fragments, may thus provide clinical useful information for diagnosing and monitoring bone metastasis occurrence in cancer patients [ 11 ] . Such an application of the CTX bone resorption markers may be especially relevant for breast cancer patients, who have a high risk of developing bone metastases. In the present study, our aim was to assess the clinical utility of the different CTX isoforms, as well as the ratios between the isoforms, to detect breast cancer-induced bone metastases. For this purpose, the urinary CTX isoforms L, L, and Dwere quantified by immunoassay in healthy premenopausal and postmenopausal women, and in women affected with breast cancer either with or without bone metastases. Patients and methods Study population Urine samples were collected as the morning void from 24 healthy premenopausal women (age [mean standard deviation (SD)], 33.9 5.6 years) and 31 healthy postmenopausal women (age 55.1 2.7 years). In addition, 123 female patients with histologically confirmed breast cancer participated in the study. Eight patients were hypercalcemic (serum calcium > 2.7 mmol/l, albumin corrected), had radiologically confirmed bone metastases and were 54.4 12.0 years of age (HC+ patients). One hundred patients were normocalcemic (serum calcium between 2.0 and 2.7 mmol/l, albumin corrected), had radiologically confirmed bone metastases and were 54.4 12.0 years of age (NC+ patients). Finally, 15 breast cancer patients (54.5 12.3 years of age) were normocalcemic, had early stage (nonmetastatic) cancer but were without radiological signs of bone metastases (NC-patients). Fifty per cent, 49% and 53% of subjects were premenopausal in the HC+, NC+ and NC- patient groups, respectively. There was no statistical difference between the proportions of premenopausal women in the three groups. The presence or absence of bone metastasis in patients was determined by bone scintigraphy, and was confirmed by conventional radiography (X-ray) as necessary. All study subjects had serum creatinine < 265 mol/l, and received endocrine therapy and/or an anthracycline-containing regimen. Some patients had additional radiotherapy in the event of clinical symptoms (e.g. bone pain, instability). The use of antineoplastic hormonal treatment (20 mg tamoxifen, 500 mg aminoglutethimide, 500 mg provera) was allowed, but none of the patients were receiving bisphosphonate therapy prior to entry into the study. Informed, written consent was obtained from all participants according to the Helsinki Declaration of 1975, as revised in 1983. The study was approved by the local human investigations committee. Measurement of CTX isoforms by immunoassay analysis The -CrossLaps radioimmunoassay [ 12 ] and the Cross-Laps ELISA [ 13 ] are commercially available immunoassays specific for the native ( L) and isomerised ( L) forms of CTX, respectively. The assays were performed as recommended by the manufacturer (Nordic Bioscience Diagnostics, Herlev, Denmark). The D-CTX ELISA is a competitive assay based on polyclonal rabbit antibodies for the Dform of CTX. The assay has been described elsewhere [ 9 ] . All determinations of urinary CTX were corrected for creatinine. The three CTX assays were calibrated using synthetic CTX standards, the concentration of which had been determined by analysis of the total amino acid composition as described previously [ 14 ] . Statistical analysis Biochemical data were compared between groups using the Mann-Whitney U test (two-tailed). For all tests P 0.05 was considered significant. The discriminatory power of the different CTX isoforms or CTX ratios in distinguishing groups from controls was assessed using T or Z scores (i.e. number of SDs from the mean of the controls). Results The urinary excretion of all CTX forms was significantly higher ( P < 0.001) in the postmenopausal group when compared with the premenopausal women, with approximately 2.5-fold higher levels (Table 1). When ratios between the newly synthesised Lform and the age-modified forms ( Land D) were calculated, only minor and nonsignificant differences were observed between premenopausal and postmenopausal women. In patients with breast cancer-induced bone metastases, the urinary excretion of the newly synthesised LCTX form was more increased than the age-modified forms Land D. Compared with NC- patients, the HC+ patients had a 3.4-fold elevation in LCTX and the NC+ patients had 2.2-fold higher levels of LCTX ( P < 0.01). The levels of DCTX, representing the oldest form of CTX, were increased 2.4-fold and 1.7-fold in HC+ patients and in NC+ patients compared with NC- patients (Fig. 2). The ratio between the nonisomerised Lform and the racemised Dform of CTX was consequently increased in NC+ patients and in HC+ patients 2.2 and 1.5 times, respectively, when compared with NC- patients, and increased 2.4 and 1.6 times, respectively, compared with postmenopausal patients. However, these increases in the L/ Dratio did not reach statistical significance as evaluated by nonparametric statistics. The ability of the various CTX forms and CTX ratios to discriminate between patients with bone metastases (HC+ patients and NC+ patients) and patients without bone metastases (NC- patients) was assessed by Z -score analysis using the mean and SD of the NC- patient group (Fig. 3). This analysis revealed that the LCTX levels provided the best differentiation between patients with metastases (HC+ patients and NC+ patients) and nonmetastasised controls (Fig. 3). Although the L/ Dratio displayed the highest mean Z score, the urinary excretion of the LCTX form still appeared to have the best ability to identify patients affected by bone metastases. Thus, 58% of patients affected by bone metastases had significantly increased LCTX values ( Z score > 2) compared with breast cancer patients without bone metastases (NC- patients) (Fig. 3). In comparison, 30% of patients affected by bone metastases had L/ Dratios more than 2 SDs above the normal postmenopausal mean (Fig. 3). In addition, whereas only 27% of patients affected by bone metastases had LCTX values below the mean of nonmetastasised controls (NC-patients), 52% of these patients had L/ Dratios below this value (Fig. 3). Discussion In the present study, the clinical utility of assays for the various CTX forms in the assessment of breast cancer-induced bone metastases was investigated. The urinary concentration of all four CTX isoforms was initially measured in reference populations of healthy premenopausal and postmenopausal women. The levels of the three CTX isoforms L, Land Dwere 2.3-fold to 2.7-fold higher in the postmenopausal women (Table 1), in accordance with previous reports of CTX levels during the menopause [ 15 ] . As all forms were elevated to the same magnitude in postmenopause, the ratios between the newly synthesised LCTX form and the older Land DCTX forms was not significantly different in premenopausal and postmenopausal women. This indicates that the average 'age' and thus the half-life of bone collagen is similar in premenopausal and postmenopausal women. In a study comprising larger cohorts, a small but significant elevation in the L/ Lratio was found, indicating that the net half-life of collagen is slightly decreased after the menopause [ 16 ] . In breast cancer patients affected by bone metastases (HC+ patients and NC+ patients), the levels of all CTX isoforms were elevated compared with healthy postmenopausal controls or with NC- patients. The Lform representing the degradation of newly formed bone was, however, more elevated than the corresponding age-related isoforms (Table 1). HC+ patients had a 3.4-fold elevation in LCTX levels, and a 2.2-fold elevation was seen in NC+ patients, indicating that the more severe condition in the HC+ patients is reflected by the LCTX marker. The least prominent elevation was seen for the DCTX levels. The L/ DCTX ratio reflecting the relative contents of age-modified CTX forms was highly increased in HC+ patients (1.5-fold and 1.6-fold compared with NC-patients and with postmenopausal patients, respectively) and in NC+ patients (2.2-fold and 2.4-fold compared with NC- patients and with postmenopausal patients). This suggests that the age and thus the half-life of collagen type I fragments generated by resorption is decreased in the group of patients with bone metastases. Such a decrease in collagen type I half-life is likely to reflect a significant imbalance between anabolic and catabolic processes at the focal area of metastatic invasion [ 11 ] . A similar imbalance is seen in some 'high-turnover' conditions, including Paget's disease [ 9 17 ] . In situations of high bone turnover, the 'aged' bone matrix will rapidly be replaced with a new matrix, leading to a lower residence time (i.e. half-life) of bone collagen. More 'young bone' (as reflected by the LCTX levels) will be resorbed and the relative content of age-modified forms will decrease. The relative content of LCTX is reflected in the CTX ratios, providing an index of bone collagen half-life [ 9 ] . Among the CTX ratios, the L/ Dratio showed the most pronounced elevation in the metastatic breast cancer patients. This is in good agreement with kinetic studies of the isomerisation and racemisation reactions, where it was shown that the DCTX form accumulates with the lowest kinetic rate [ 9 ] . The L/ DCTX ratio will thus be most affected by changes of bone turnover processes influencing the half-life of collagen type I in the bone matrix. The age-related Lform accumulates with a slightly higher kinetic rate than DCTX [ 9 ] . This is also apparent from the less pronounced increase in the L/ Lratio compared with the L/ Dratio in metastatic patients. When individual Z scores of CTX were calculated for the metastatic breast cancer patients compared with the non-metastatic patients, the LCTX form and the L/ DCTX ratio showed the highest average increases in accordance with the ability of the LCTX levels and the L/ DCTX ratio to most sensitively reflect alterations in the balance between the anabolic and catabolic processes of bone turnover (Fig. 3). LCTX levels alone showed a significant elevation in 58% of the metastatic patients, which probably reflects an increased bone turnover (increased resorption + increased formation) as an important feature in the majority of bone metastatic patients. For the Land DCTX markers, respectively, 47 and 48% of the metastatic patients had levels 2 SDs above the reference level of nonmetastasised controls (Fig. 3). The present data suggest that the levels of LCTX are most affected by the altered bone turnover associated with metastatic invasion of bone. The fact that only 58% of patients affected by bone metastases (as determined by radiology) have increased levels of LCTX indicates a rather low sensitivity of bone resorption markers to identify bone metastases. Several issues are relevant for the interpretation of this result. It may be speculated that different stages of the bone metastases process show varying release of LCTX. Furthermore, the difference may be related to differences between sclerotic and lytic bone metastases. In this context it is noteworthy that some patients who have not been classified as having bone metastases by radiological methods have LCTX values increased more than 2 SDs above the normal mean. High levels of LCTX are indicative of an increased bone resorption. In the clinical management of individual patients affected with breast cancer, an increased LCTX value may indicate the presence of bone metastases and will call for a closer clinical evaluation of the patient and/or initiation of preventive therapy (e.g. bisphosphonates). The study has some limitations. Most patients received antineoplastic hormonal treatment (20 mg tamoxifen, 500 mg aminoglutethimide, 500 mg provera). This treatment may potentially reduce bone resorption, thereby influencing CTX levels. It may thus be a confounding factor in the analysis. In spite of this treatment, however, patients affected by bone metastases had highly increased marker values compared with healthy controls. This indicates that the increase in markers is related to metastatic invasion of bone and is reflected in systemic marker levels regardless of the potential antiresorptive effects of antineoplastic therapy. Conclusion Assays for the various age-related isoforms of CTX have different sensitivities to identify patients affected by bone metastases. The LCTX isoform reflecting resorption of young bone appeared to provide the best differentiation of patients affected by breast cancer-induced bone metastases. Further studies are needed to investigate the utility of this marker in the early detection of bone metastases and for assessing treatment efficacy. Such studies should correlate marker values with metastasis type (lytic, sclerotic, mixed) and with the volume of bone affected by metastases. Competing interests Paul Cloos, Stephan Christgau and Per Qvist are employees of Nordic Bioscience A/S, which commercializes the CTX immunoassays. Per Qvist and Claus Christiansen own shares in Nordic Bioscience A/S. Jean-Jacques Body and Nina Lyubimova have no competing interests. Abbreviations D= D-aspartyl peptide; L= L-aspartyl peptide; D= D-isoaspartyl peptide; L= L-isoaspartyl peptide; Cr = creatinine; CTX = crosslinked C-telopeptide of type I collagen; ELISA = enzyme-linked immunosorbent assay, HC+ = hypercalcemic with bone metastases; NC+ = normocalcemic with bone metastases; NC- = normocalcemic without radiological signs of bone metastases; SD = standard deviation. Introduction Transport of critically ill patients to, between, and within hospitals can be associated with potentially adverse events [ 1, 2, 3]. Researchers have shown that increased vigilance, appropriate equipment, and well-trained personnel can lead to improved safety while critically ill patients are being transported [ 4, 5]. Prior work evaluating the potential problems associated with transport of patients to intensive care units has led to the establishment of guidelines for the transport of the critically ill [ 6, 7]. The need for safe and effective patient care en route has also been a goal of the United States military. Because initial emergency life-saving surgery and prompt, aggressive resuscitation may have to be performed under austere field conditions to render a patient transportable and since resource limitations or adverse conditions may lead to delayed evacuation or prolonged evacuation times, the United States Army has developed a new critical care transport platform called the Life Support for Trauma and Transport (LSTAT). Design goals for the LSTAT were solicited from medical personnel who have been deployed to combat zones, military and civilian medical personnel who transport and care for critically ill patients, and experts in military logistics with regard to medical equipment. Design goals included the following: weight limit of 120 pounds, volume not to exceed 22 72 13 inches (56 183 20 cm), battery power for up to 60 minutes, computer linkage of all the diagnostic and therapeutic equipment, capability of sending physiologic data to remote sites, and ability to generate pressurized gases for the ventilator. To meet these design constraints, the diagnostic and therapeutic equipment contained within the LSTAT had to be significantly reconfigured and miniaturized. The purpose of this study was to evaluate how modified equipment, configured to fit within the LSTAT, may affect (1) the identification and management of life-threatening physiologic derangements, using a patient simulator, and (2) ongoing monitoring of vital signs in a recovery room setting. Methods Equipment The LSTAT (model number 9602, Integrated Medical Systems, Inc, Signal Hill, CA, USA) consists of a pan and a stretcher. The pan contains commercially available equipment that has been reconfigured to fit in the 5-inch-deep (13-cm-deep) pan (Fig. 1). The pan fits beneath and is attached to a NATO stretcher and has a head fairing that extends 7 inches above the stretcher (Fig. 2). This equipment includes a transport ventilator, a 480-liter oxygen tank, a three-channel infusion pump, a defibrillator, a blood gas and blood chemistry analyzer, a suction device, a vital signs monitor, a computer, a power converter, and a battery power supply. The computer within the LSTAT continuously transmits physiologic data over a wireless network to a fixed large display called the clinical display and to a handheld notebook-computer-based display called the secondary display. Phase I: Evaluation of the LSTAT by clinicians using a patient simulator After internal review board approval at the University of Utah and the Army Surgeons Human Subjects Research Review Board, 25 anesthesiologists and 6 recovery room nurses served as consenting volunteer clinicians to compare the clinical utility of the LSTAT with conventional monitoring systems, using a patient simulator. Each volunteer clinician was presented with a scripted description of the study methods and equipment to be used. The study description was read verbatim by the study proctor. The study proctor was the same person for all study participants. Equipment included the LSTAT standard equipment used for physiologic monitoring (Protocol Systems Inc, Model Propaq Encore, Beaverton, OR, USA), an E cylinder filled with oxygen (holding 660 l of oxygen at 2200 psi), a semiopen ventilation circuit (Vital Signs Inc, Resuscitation Circuit Model No. 5105 RV, Totowa, NJ, USA), an anesthesia machine (North American Drager, Model Narkomed AV2+, Telford, PA, USA), and a defibrillator (Hewlett Packard, model number 43110 A, McMinnville, OR, USA). The anesthesia machine contained a ventilator and a suction device. After reading the scripted instructions, each volunteer clinician was allowed to ask questions about the use of each piece of equipment. The study did not proceed until sufficient answers to all questions were given as determined by the volunteer clinician. A comparison was made of the training time required for volunteer clinicians to feel ready to use the LSTAT versus conventional monitors. The training time was defined as the time required by the study proctor to read the instructions plus the time required for each volunteer clinician to ask questions about its use. After having been trained, each volunteer clinician was presented with four scenarios in turn (Table 1), using a patient simulator (Medical Education Technologies Inc, Sarasota, FL, USA). During two scenarios, the clinicians used the LSTAT and during the other two scenarios they used conventional equipment. The clinicians were randomly assigned to one of two groups. Group A used the LSTAT with scenarios 1 and 2 and conventional equipment with scenarios 3 and 4. Group B did the opposite. Each volunteer clinician was required to state the diagnosis and the treatment needed during each scenario. Incorrect answers were ignored. If a clinician required more than 5 minutes to state the correct diagnosis or treatment, the scenario was stopped and recorded as incorrect. When the correct diagnosis was stated, the time was recorded. The time to treatment was recorded when the volunteer clinician stated the appropriate treatment and demonstrated the appropriate use of the equipment needed to implement it. The times to diagnosis and treatment with the two monitoring systems were compared using the Mann-Whitney test. After the simulations were over, each volunteer clinician completed a survey about use of the LSTAT. The survey asked about the alarm systems, ability to detect critical changes in vital signs, and utility of the LSTAT to manage patients if no other equipment were available. Phase II: Evaluation of the LSTAT in a routine postoperative setting Nursing staff received a 45-minute training seminar in the use of the LSTAT, in which the system was placed on a modified wheel system (Stryker Medical, Big Wheel No. 1001, Kalamazoo, MI, USA). Ten consenting adult patients were each placed on an LSTAT in the operating room after surgery. A pulse oximeter probe, electrocardiogram leads, and blood pressure cuff were attached to the LSTAT. Each patient received supplemental oxygen via facemask. Patients were then transported to the recovery room. The course in the recovery room was noted for all events requiring intervention (e.g. deteriorating respiratory function requiring acute management of the airway, episodes of hypotension, hypertension, arrhythmias, postoperative nausea and vomiting, and inadequate pain control) as detected by the LSTAT. Measures of performance included both the number of postoperative events requiring intervention that were detected using the LSTAT's physiologic monitors and a survey of its utility taken from recovery room nursing staff, reviewing functionality, problems, and potential problems observed during clinical use. Results Phase I: Evaluation of the LSTAT by clinicians using a patient simulator Thirty-one volunteer clinicians participated in the simulator evaluation of the LSTAT. All of them had been trained in Advanced Cardiac Life Support (ACLS), 71% had up-to-date ACLS certification (recertification within the preceding 2 years), and 29% had been trained in Advanced Trauma Life Support (ATLS). The time required to provide instruction to each volunteer clinician ranged from 2 to 7 minutes. They required about 1 to 2 minutes more to learn how to use the LSTAT than to use conventional monitors. Table 2compares conventional monitoring equipment and the LSTAT with regard to the time required to reach a diagnosis and the time required to choose an appropriate treatment for anesthesiologists. The size of the group of recovery room nurses was not large enough to merit statistical analysis and therefore only the results from the survey are reported. In scenarios 1, 2, and 3, there was no significant difference between the LSTAT and conventional monitors in the time required to reach a diagnosis or treatment. In scenario 4 (pulseless ventricular tachycardia), the time required to make the diagnosis and treatment was shorter than with the other scenarios regardless of which equipment (LSTAT or conventional monitors and equipment) was used; 23 out of 25 anesthesiologists made the diagnosis in less than 1 minute. The time required to treat the pulseless ventricular tachycardia was less with the conventional monitors than with the LSTAT. In scenarios 1, 2, and 3, the number of anesthesiologists unable to provide a correct diagnosis or treatment within 5 minutes was evenly distributed between the conventional monitor and the LSTAT groups. In scenario 4, all anesthesiologists provided the correct diagnosis and treatment within 5 minutes. Table 3shows the clinicians' response to the survey regarding the clinical usefulness of the LSTAT after completing four simulations. All the participating clinicians reported that they were able to properly manage the simulated patients using the LSTAT. All participating clinicians except one who abstained reported that if no other medical equipment were available in a remote setting, they would be able to provide appropriate care using the LSTAT. All of the survey respondents indicated that it was safe to proceed to the next phase of the study, in which the LSTAT would be used in a clinical setting. Survey questions aimed at exploring how useful the LSTAT was in managing critical events revealed that all of the participating clinicians were able to properly manage the simulated patients and 27 reported that they were able to detect critical changes in vital signs in a timely manner. Three clinicians, however, reported that they were not able to detect critical changes in vital signs because of difficulty seeing physiologic data on the display screens and the location of the displays. Several clinicians indicated that they would have liked more time to become familiar with the equipment before assuming patient care. A majority of the clinicians reported that suction and capnography would be useful during transport and that the controls on the LSTAT were easy to operate. In addition, the survey respondents reported that the configuration of equipment, as an intrinsic part of the stretcher, did not obstruct access to the patient. Features that were noted to be useful by respondents were the compactness of all the equipment in the LSTAT and the integration of a ventilator into the LSTAT to facilitate transport of ventilator-dependent patients. Phase II: Evaluation of the LSTAT in a routine postoperative setting Ten patients were monitored on the LSTAT during their recovery from surgery. Complications experienced by this patient group associated with recovery from surgery included postoperative nausea and vomiting, inadequate pain control, hypertension, hypoxia, and tachycardia. Nine nurses who cared for patients using the LSTAT in the recovery room completed surveys and the results are presented in Table 4. All nine of the recovery room nursing staff reported that the LSTAT provided adequate equipment to properly care for patients recovering from surgery. Five of the nine reported that it was easy to operate. The remaining four reported that they would have liked a more extensive in-service training before using the LSTAT. All those nurses who responded reported that all critical changes in vital signs were detected and addressed in a timely manner using the LSTAT. Limitations cited by the recovery room nursing staff included difficulty reading displays of vital signs on the secondary display and muted audible alarms that were difficult to hear in a recovery room environment. Three of the nine nurses reported that the large clinical display improved their ability to detect changes in vital signs and all but one reported that if no other equipment were available in a remote setting, they would be able to resuscitate a patient with the LSTAT. During transport of recovery room patients, no critical events were reported. Two of the nurses reported that the LSTAT provided an advantage during transport within the hospital and most reported that the secondary display was useful for monitoring vital signs during transport. Three reported that if the secondary display was not available, it would be difficult to monitor vital signs during transport if the patient was placed on the LSTAT so that the head fairing containing the physiologic monitoring and ventilator displays were at the foot of the bed. All the nurses that responded reported that the maneuverability of the LSTAT was adequate to enhanced. Overall comments by recovery room nursing staff suggested that the LSTAT would be helpful in patients with more highly acute conditions (e.g. in the intensive care unit, trauma bay, and prehospital settings) and that features that set the LSTAT apart from conventional equipment include compactness, readily available suction, capnography, defibrillator, and on-board oxygen tank. Finally, 22% of the recovery room nursing staff found the integration of the monitoring and therapeutic equipment into a stretcher for transport very useful, 67% found it to be useful, and 11% found it to be somewhat useful. Discussion Phase I: Evaluation of the LSTAT by clinicians using a patient simulator In this simulation phase of the study, the time required for clinicians to detect and treat life-threatening physiologic derangements was nearly identical using conventional equipment versus the LSTAT. In the simulations of tension pneumothorax, severe adult respiratory distress syndrome, and cardiac tamponade, the number of anesthesiologists unable to make a correct diagnosis or provide the correct treatment within 5 minutes was evenly divided between the two study groups. In the simulation of pulseless ventricular tachycardia, the median time to diagnosis and treatment was significantly shorter using conventional monitors than using the LSTAT. Although pulseless ventricular tachycardia is a life-threatening arrhythmia and merits immediate attention, the differences between the LSTAT and conventional monitors are subtle and may not be clinically important (49 versus 41 seconds in the time to diagnosis and 60 versus 44 seconds in the time to treatment). One potential source of delay for the time to treatment was that the defibrillator used in the conventional monitoring simulation was similar to one currently used in our hospital operating rooms, whereas the defibrillator incorporated into the LSTAT is not. It is important to point out that if a defibrillator is not readily available (the defibrillator was readily available in our simulations), the time required to locate one and treat the patient could be much longer than that reported in our simulation. In the tension pneumothorax and the adult respiratory distress scenarios, the simulated patient required mechanical ventilation. In the LSTAT group, ventilation was accomplished using the transport ventilator contained within the LSTAT. For the group using conventional monitors, ventilation was accomplished using a semiopen ventilation circuit that required manual operation. One difference reported by the volunteer clinicians was that they wanted to take the patient off the ventilator to hand ventilate the patient in order to validate their diagnosis, despite already having the peak airway pressures, delivered tidal volumes, and end tidal carbon dioxide levels readily available. This issue is not unique to the LSTAT ventilator. None of the commercially available transport ventilators has an auxiliary ventilator circuit that allows manual ventilation. Mechanical ventilation during transport of critically ill patients has been found to be advantageous over hand ventilation in meeting oxygenation and ventilation goals and in minimizing the acid-base disturbances that may lead to hemodynamic instability [ 1, 3]. In addition, even though hand ventilation was not available during simulated transports with the LSTAT ventilator, there was no difference in the time to diagnosis or treatment for either the tension pneumothorax or the severe adult respiratory distress scenarios. One potential criticism of the LSTAT is that it is too sophisticated and will require excessive training to teach clinicians how to use it. Our results did not validate this concern. Both recovery room nursing staff and the anesthesiologists required approximately 2 minutes more training time with the LSTAT than with conventional monitors. The overall training time never exceeded 7 minutes for the LSTAT. These results may be influenced by several factors. Because the patient transports were simulated, the volunteer clinicians may not have felt that they needed to pursue all the nuances about the LSTAT's equipment that they otherwise would have if they had been caring for a real patient. Secondly, the volunteer clinician group studied has significant experience with various types of patient monitors, ventilators, and defibrillators and may not have required as much teaching time as would other clinicians who are not as routinely involved with these items. Phase II: Evaluation of the LSTAT in a routine postoperative setting The LSTAT was judged by nursing staff to be adequate for the management of patients recovering from surgery. Complications experienced by the patient group were typical of complications associated with recovery from surgery. Features that set the LSTAT apart from routine monitoring of patients in the recovery room included the readily available defibrillator, availability of suction and capnography for transport, a built-in oxygen source, the fixed large clinical display of the patient's vital signs in the recovery room, and the mobile secondary display which reported the patient's vital signs for use during transport. After having used the LSTAT in the recovery room, the nursing staff was asked to critique the use of the LSTAT in managing critical events. Data visualization and visual and auditory alarms were of primary concern both with the physiologic monitor and the ventilator. Some nurses were concerned that they would not be able to detect critical changes in vital signs because of these limitations. This problem may be the result of two conflicting design goals: the military needs (low sound and low light emissions) and the needs of the intensive care unit (visual physiologic data presentation and loud auditory signals and alarms). The screens contained within the LSTAT were selected to reduce power consumption and minimize light emission. Potential solutions to this concern include enhanced training with the LSTAT to improve clinicians' comfort with the existing data displays and alarm systems as well as exploration of alternatives for data and alarm presentation to improve the clinician's awareness of a patient's status. Five of the nine recovery nurses reported that they did not notice any particular advantage of the LSTAT during transports within the hospital. In this phase of the study, the LSTAT was used to transport patients from the recovery room to the ambulatory surgery discharge area or to a hospital bed, a transport routinely done without any patient monitoring. Thus in less acute transport settings, it is reasonable that the LSTAT would not provide any significant advantage. An expressed concern of some of the military product developers was that the weight of the LSTAT pan and the configuration of the LSTAT as dictated by the size constraints to fit in military aircraft would make the LSTAT awkward to use during patient care. The survey results did not support this potential concern. For example, respondents indicated that the LSTAT was easy to operate, access to the patient was not obstructed, and the LSTAT was easy to maneuver. Many respondents reported that consolidation of all the physiologic monitoring equipment and incorporation of a transport ventilator were all advantages for patient transport. After the simulator study, all respondents indicated that it was safe to proceed to the next phase of the study, in which the LSTAT would be used in a clinical setting. Furthermore, volunteer clinicians reported through their surveys that they were able to properly manage the simulated and real patients using the LSTAT. All but one clinician reported that if no other equipment were available in a remote setting, they would be able to resuscitate a patient with the LSTAT. This report represents a preliminary evaluation of the LSTAT in a clinical setting. The goal was to validate the functionality of the LSTAT before its evaluation in more acute settings such as intensive care units, emergency departments, transports within hospitals, within medical evacuation vehicles during transport between hospitals, and eventually in remote areas where medical resources are limited or unavailable. A logical next step is to evaluate the LSTAT during the initial management of critically injured trauma patients as they present for evaluation in an emergency room trauma bay. This might be best accomplished in a facility designed for and staffed by specialists trained in trauma patient care. The same study hypothesis might be: does equipment typically found in an intensive care unit, condensed to fit in a small space underneath a patient stretcher, serve as an equivalent tool to conventional equipment in detecting and treating life-threatening problems? Additional questions may incoude the following: Does the LSTAT reduce the personnel and resources needed for intra-hospital transport for emergency imaging (e.g. computer tomography scans or angiography studies), rapid transfer to the operating room, or transfer to the intensive care unit? Does remote monitoring of a patient during intrahospital transport improve the clinician's vigilance in detecting life-threatening problems that may develop during transport? Can personnel other than anesthesiologists and recovery room nurses learn to use the medical devices contained within the LSTAT effectively? And finally, does the integration of physiologic data, ventilator data, arterial blood gas and chemistry data, and clinical data into an optimized computer-based display help clinicians evaluate patients more efficiently and make more informed decisions when caring for patients with multiple life-threatening injuries [ 8, 9, 10]? The clinical relevance of this line of investigation is a function of the prevalence of trauma in our world today and the need to provide life-saving intervention quickly after injury. Experience in major metropolitan areas where evacuation times are quick and state-of-the-art surgical and resuscitative resources and well-trained personnel are readily available has established the benefit of early surgical intervention and resuscitation on survival [ 11, 12]. The LSTAT was designed to provide equipment for underserved areas where conventional intensive care resources may be unavailable. Thus, the LSTAT may serve as a critical resource to a highly mobile surgical team because it can be placed very near the site of injury in an effort to reduce the time from injury to life-saving intervention. The LSTAT provides the equipment necessary for appropriate postoperative care of a critically injured patient, for transport to tertiary care facilities, or for holding patients until evacuation is feasible. The LSTAT can also serve as a resource to resuscitate patients who do not require surgery but who do require intensive care. Key messages Medical equipment reconfigured and miniaturized into a stretcher-based portable intensive care unit (called the Life Support for Trauma and Transport [LSTAT TM]) was evaluated using a patient simulator and during patient care in a recovery room setting In the simulation phase of the study, volunteer clinicians compared the LSTAT with conventional monitors while managing critical events In the recovery room phase of the study, nurses critiqued the LSTAT while caring for patients after surgery In both the simulated and postoperative environments, the LSTAT provided appropriate equipment to detect and manage critical events in patient care Competing interests This study was supported in part by a grant from the United States Army Medical Research and Material Command. LSTAT is a trademark of the United States Army. Abbreviations LSTAT = Life Support for Trauma and Transport [platform]; NATO = North Atlantic Treaty Organization; psi = pounds per square inch. More than a century ago a major wave of innovations in distribution and production led to the modern department store, the mail-order house, and the chain store, and reshaped their suppliers. The present transformation of retail and manufacturing engendered by new information technologies, production methods, and management practices also fundamentally alters the manner in which industries and firms take raw materials, turn them into a profusion of products, and deliver them to consumers. Although these developments are very much a work in progress, information-integrated channels of production and distribution are emerging. Such channels are not unique to retail-apparel-textile relations but have arisen in a wide variety of consumer product industries in which retailing practices are undergoing similar changes. The developments reported here offer a prototype of the new links among manufacturers, other suppliers, retailers, and consumers. In fact, the transformation has been gradual and is still under way. Only as recently as the mid-1990s has integration risen to critical levels, providing a clear picture of what channel relations will look like in the future. Information integration has reshaped much of the retail-apparel-textile channel, yet further transformation is likely in the decade ahead, not only for these linked industries, but for consumer product sectors in general. In this final chapter, we step back to survey the ways in which information-integrated channels will affect the public and private sectors. The pervasive changes arising from lean retailing challenge the conventional wisdom about the future of international trade, labor standards, employment, and even macroeconomic fluctuations. At the same time, these changes alter the nature of competitive strategy for businesses that supply lean retailers in apparel, textile, and other industries. Trade Issues: The New International Economics [W]e estimate that national income would improve if quotas and tariffs were eliminated because the cost to the economy of protecting each worker with import restraints exceeds the wage the worker is paid ... [F]or textiles the cost per job protected is $40,200 while wages are $20,000; for apparel the cost per job is $37,500 while wages are $14,000.1 We want the world to know how strongly we oppose NAFTA expansion and fast track.2 John J. Sweeney, President, AFL-CIO These quotations aptly reflect the continuing controversy over international trade policies. The apparel and textile industries have played a central role in trade discussions since the inception of the United States, just as they have in other developing and developed countries throughout the world. These industries have often been chosen as the means for building manufacturing capacity in the developing world; at the same time they have been the recipient of trade protection in developed economies. More to our point, information integration has added a new dimension to these long-standing controversies. The textile and apparel industries have often been intertwined in public policy discussions about international trade, the Uruguay round of trade negotiations, the role of World Trade Organization, NAFTA and its labor side-accords, the renewal of fast-track negotiating authority, imports from China and human rights standards, and so on. This stream of general debate, however, is seldom related to a detailed study or analysis of the impact of such developments on the U.S. textile or apparel industries. From the time of Adam Smith and David Ricardo down through the writings of Hechscher-Ohlin, economic analysis has been devoted to the consequences of trade restraints in the form of quotas, tariffs, and nontariff barriers on output, employment, and prices. Traditional international economics attributes trade to comparative advantage, relative labor costs, and the relative costs of logistics and transportation. A new international economics in the past decade has stressed that much global trade actually reflects, as Paul Krugman puts it, National advantages that are created by historical circumstance rather than natural resources. Because comparative advantage is often created, not given, a temporary subsidy can lead to a permanent industry.3 Note that these economic analyses and policy prescriptions have been applied generally and are not focused on particular industries like textiles or apparel. In any case, since the 1970s, such debates about the impact of international trade policy have been placed in a new economic context. Increasingly, analysts and public policy makers discuss trade issue in terms of the emergence of a significant and growing inequality in compensation between production and nonsupervisory workers, on the one hand, and managerial, supervisory, or exempt employees and professionals on the other. These differences include a larger disparity in compensation between those highly educated and those who are not, particularly high school dropouts. In addition, there has been an appreciable growth in relatively unskilled immigrants in some localities such as major metropolitan areas around the country.4 The 1997 Economic Report of the President, reporting a colloquium of experts at the Federal Reserve Bank of New York, attributes the growth of inequality to the following: technological change (45 percent), international trade (12 percent), a decline in the real minimum wage (10 percent), rising immigration (8 percent), and other factors (15 percent).5 Although such analysis and policy discussions have not singled out specific industries, the nature of the occupational structure and workforce in textiles and apparelparticularly the latter sectormakes the general discussion relevant to these two industries. It would appear that neither the market imports of textiles nor the immigration of low-skilled workers has had an appreciable negative impact on the wages of the textile industry or its major sectors. The average hourly earnings of U.S. employees in textile mill products (SIC 22) went from $4.66 in 1979 to $10.02 in 1997an increase of 115 percent and more than the increase in all manufacturing or nondurable manufacturing. This relative wage increase in textiles took place despite its concentration in a low-wage regionthe southeastern Piedmont statesthe low level of collective bargaining, and the higher-than-average percentage of women workers. But the experience in apparel is less categorical, especially because of the differential impact on various branches of apparel and other textile products (SIC 23). In 1997, the average hourly earnings of apparel workers were $8.25. On the high end, automotive and apparel trimmings (SIC 2396) averaged $11.36; on the low end, womens and misses blouses and skirts (SIC 2331) averaged $7.01. Correspondingly, employment in automotive and apparel trimmings increased 71.4 percent from 1979 to 1997 while in womens and misses blouses and skirts it declined by 60.6 percent in the same period. Bear in mind, however, that blast furnaces and steel mills (SIC 3312) declined in employment from 478,500 employees in 1979 to 163,300 in 1997. This 65.9 percent decline from 1979 to 1997 compares with a 31.3 percent drop for textile mill products and 37.6 percent for all apparel workers. Still, there can be little doubt that in a sector like womens and misses blouses and skirts, in which employment is concentrated in small contract shops, import competition from low-wage developing countries and unskilled immigrants have contributed to its deterioration. Moreover, the failure to comply with federal and state employment statutes relating to minimum wages, overtime rates, and child labor, uncovered in periodic enforcement forays, have contributed to the decline of this sector. The general analysis of the consequences of trade and immigration in the textile and apparel industries clearly requires a much more focused application to detailed sectors to provide reliable conclusions. Moreover, and as this volume indicates, the offsetting influences of lean retailing and short-cycle production in comparison with low foreign labor rates must be evaluated by product demand variability, rather than simply making generalizations about aggregate trade and immigration. For instance, the information-integrated channels in retail-apparel-textile are having some of their most significant impact on sourcing among suppliers, domestic and foreign. The low labor costs for sewing and short time to market from Mexico and the Caribbean countries, and the provisions of the Harmonized Tariff Schedule (formerly Section 807 and 807a, or currently 9802.00.80) that establish duties only on the value added to U.S.-produced materials sent out for assembly, all favor sourcing of apparel from south of the U.S. border rather than Asia. According to the U.S. International Trade Commission, U.S. imports of textiles and apparel from China and two of the traditional Big Three Asian suppliersHong Kong and Koreacontinued to decline in 1996, when these countries together with Taiwan, accounted for 23.4 percent of total sector trade, compared with 38.5 percent in 1991.6 The information-integrated channels developed in the United States, which are now influencing sourcing patterns from Mexico and the Caribbean Basin, have begun to affect the textile and apparel sectors worldwide. For many fashion apparel productsdefined as those planned to last only one seasonthe practice of sourcing on the basis of lowest labor costs may be expected to continue. Indeed, much of Asian sourcing has been devoted to such items, with production shifting within Asia away from regions where wage levels have risen. But for basic and fashion basic apparel products, for which frequent replenishment orders are becoming the norm, the practice of sourcing some of the assembly and sewing operations from nearby lower wage regions and countries is emerging. At the same time, design, distribution centers, marketingeven cuttingas well as some short-cycle assembly remain in the market region. As we pointed out in Chapter 13, regionalization of apparel production in three main areas has started to occur. In the U.S. market, most sewing operations take place in Mexico and the Caribbean Basin; in Europe, sewing operations go to North Africa, Turkey, and Eastern Europe; and in Japan, sewing operations go to various East Asian regions. The formal analysis in Chapter 7 specified the factors that determine whether production of items under rapid replenishment policies should be done domestically or outsourced to low wage countries. For textiles, with their high capital costs, lower labor content, and emphasis on high quality and finishing operations, the concentration in the southeastern United States, Korea and Japan, and industrial Europe may be expected largely to continue. But the longer term viability of American textile centers will depend on the development of infrastructures capable of supporting advanced textile production in countries close to the U.S. market, such as Mexico and elsewhere in Latin America. Macroeconomic Implications: Inventories, Business Cycles, and Price Levels In an information-integrated channel, the historic market relationships between buyers and sellers change significantly. It is true that textiles firms still sell to apparel-makers, which in turn sell to retailers, which ultimately sell to consumers. Markets certainly have not disappeared, but these relationships have been transformed. Different channel players now share detailed information on daily sales; investments in technologies mutually benefit both retailers and suppliers; and because of the effective use of information and manufacturing technologies, risk has been reduced across the entire channel. The adoption of standards in the supply channel, such as those that specify packaging, labeling, and marking of products, have reduced further time to market and enhanced efficiencies; this expedites transit and ensures floor-ready merchandise for consumers at the end of the channel from suppliers. As a result, the traditional boundary lines between firms are blurring as the cost of transacting business within and across industries falls dramatically.7 Note that the technologies and standards that made these information-integrated channels possible were a product of private-sector activitiesindividual enterprises, trade associations, and consulting firms. The fundamental standards of product identification through bar codes and related technologies have become compatible worldwide without the prescription or regulation of a Bureau of Standards or government regulatory agencies. Falling transaction costs between sectors allow an economy to increase the total output of goods and services it can produce for a given set of resource inputs.8 The dramatic decrease in transaction costs across many sectors parallels the wide-scale changes at the end of the last century, which, in the words of Alfred Chandler, reduced the number of transactions involved in the flow of goods, increased the speed and regularity of the flow, and so lowered costs and improved the productivity of the American distribution system.9 Yet it often takes time for an economy to reflect the impact of such fundamental shifts. In fact, the current combination of changes in information technology, management practice, and manufacturing strategy may be one of the places where the impact of computers on the economy has been hidden until recently.10 The falling costs of conducting business between retailers and their suppliers may also explain why there has been relatively little vertical concentration across industries in the channelno textile firms have gone into the manufacture of apparel or retail and few apparel firms have set up their own retail outlets.11 Indeed, an effective information-integrated channel probably works against vertical integration. Sharing information and current knowledge of the market across channel players achieves some of the same objectivesat lower costof formally reaching forward or backward into markets. Enterprises in different parts of the channel can therefore concentrate on their business strengths. Lean retailing and the restructuring of manufacturing supply have also affected the economy as a whole in the area of inventories. Lean retailing itself implies a dramatic reduction in the amount of inventory held by retail enterprises. Chapter 14 documents the large inventory reductions of apparel suppliers that draw fully on information technology in concert with new managerial and manufacturing practices; in some cases they have decreased inventory levels by half. The impact of these new policies on retailing and manufacturing sectors may have begun to show up in economy-wide measures of inventory. The overall ratio of inventories to final sales of domestic business fell considerably in the past decade, from 2.78 in 1987 to 2.34 in 1997.12 It has long been known that inventories at the macroeconomic level affect the depth and length of business cycles.13 The connection between recent changes in inventory policy and the business cycle have only begun to be studied in a systematic fashion.14 As noted in the 1988 Economic Report of the President, Adoption of just-in-time inventory management by manufacturers also represents a significant development, since changes in inventories have often been an important source of business-cycle fluctuations. Whether just-in-time inventories will be able to dampen future business cycles, however, remains to be seen.15 Our work on apparel supplier adjustments to lean retailing suggests that an economy characterized by an increasing level of modern manufacturing and retailing practices should experience lower levels of inventories relative to sales. Because a reduction in the I/S ratio means that changes in sales will be matched by a smaller change in inventories, a lower ratio also implies lower inventory volatility. This is important because aggregate inventory volatility has historically made up a significant portion of the volatility of Gross Domestic Product (GDP). If the effects documented for retail-apparel-textile channels are more pervasive across other sectors similarly affected by channel integration, these changes could imply lower GDP volatility. This macroeconomic link may prove to be the most profound implication of the adoption of firm-level information technology and manufacturing practices. Fundamental changes in inventory policies in retail and manufacturing may significantly affect price levels as well. The increased volatility of producer and consumer prices in a number of sectors since 1995 has been attributed in part to the adoption of new inventory polices related to lean retailing.16 Some have suggested a connection between these policies and price fluctuations.17 According to one view, an information-integrated channel may lead to increased volatility in aggregate prices because the impact of shifts in supply and demand is more rapidly reflected in consumer prices without the buffering impact of inventory. Competitive information-integrated channels may also reduce aggregate price levels, as expressed by price markup policies that in the past have reflected the incomplete information of channel participants.18 Whatever the effect, the more widespread adoption of information-integrated channels documented in this book raise a central question for future models of industry- and macroeconomic-price movements.19 Labor Standards: The Problem of Sweatshops The most effective weapon used by American capital in weakening the power of organized labor has been to hire immigrant workers....[I]mmigrants are cheap and controllable. The conditions they toil under make a mockery of the already low American labor standardsthe most regressive among the advanced industrial nations.20 For more than a century, the U.S. federal and state governments have investigated sweatshops in the garment industry, including the role of immigrants, and have adopted legislation to ameliorate their impact on workers and consumers. At the turn of the last century, unsanitary conditions, in addition to low wages, long hours, and child labor, were the biggest concerns. State inspectors were authorized to attach a tenement-made tag to garments produced by violators. The Consumers League, organized in 1899, adopted a voluntary label to be attached to garments made by manufacturers that abided by labor standardsthat is, they obeyed state factory laws, manufactured on their premises, employed no children under 16, and used no overtime work.21 In 1938, the Fair Labor Standards Act (FLSA) for industry generally specified minimum wage rates, overtime after forty hours of work per week, and a prohibition of child labor. The so-called hot cargo provisions of the statute, Section 15, made it illegal to transport or sell goods in commerce produced in violation of the provisions of the Act.22 Despite these strict legislated standardswith wage levels updated from time to timewidespread violations in apparel workplaces have become commonplace in the 1990s. Labor conditions have deteriorated for a number of reasons: the decline in the coverage of collective bargaining agreements with their provisions for regulation of contract shops; the difficulty of policing contributions for health and pension funds from employers in this sector; the increase in immigrants, legal and illegal, concentrated in certain areas; the intense competition from imports; and the sharp drop in employment in apparel in some markets.23 Sweatshops, it seems, have always been with us. The El Monte plant in southern California, with immigrants working behind barbed wire, caught the nations attention in 1996. Federal investigators reported in 1997 that two-thirds of the establishments in New York Citys garment industry violated overtime or minimum wage laws.24 The U.S. Labor Department reports that independent surveys, as well as federal and state compliance data, show minimum wage and overtime violations of the FLSA occurring in 40 to 60 percent of investigated establishments. The policy question is what, if anything, can be done to control or eliminate sweatshops and noncompliance with statutory standards in the United States? And what can be done to ameliorate sweatshop conditions in developing countries that produce and export half of the apparel purchased in this country? Historically, U.S. governments have employed three general approaches to the problem of sweatshops. First, the federal and state governments used powers of enforcement to seek compliance with labor standards. For the federal government, the Fair Labor Standards Act and its regulations specify the standards and enforcement procedures.25 But sole reliance on traditional government enforcement activities has serious limitations.26 The Department of Labor has fewer than 800 investigators to enforce employment statutes for 800,000 apparel industry employees in about 24,000 establishments, not to mention the other 122 million employees in 6.5 million workplaces around the country. Monitoring compliance with wage and hour provisions and pursuing violations is an extremely complicated and time-consuming process. A second method has involved mobilizing public pressure on consumers, retailers, and manufacturers to raise the incentives for voluntary compliance with labor standards. For example, the Secretary of Labor has used his or her bully pulpit to call attention to the problem, urging the public, retailers, and manufacturers to avoid purchasing products made in workplaces that do not meet the standards.27 Various reports have also publicized government enforcement actions to deter contractors, jobbers, manufacturers, and retailers from violating the standards, such as the release of a series of government reports on the extent of violations and the penalties assessed against violators.28 In yet another example, Duke Universitys adoption of a code of conduct to ensure that apparel items bearing the universitys name are not made in sweatshops has received public support.29 Indeed, efforts to use public concern, and at times outrage, to tackle the sweatshop problem go back to the early part of this century. The most famous case involves public reaction to the fire at the Triangle Shirtwaist Company on March 25, 1911, in which 146 women died. The fire started in a loft of the factory during the workday. The women and girls working in the factory could not escape because the company had locked the doors to the stairs from the outside, ostensibly to prevent theft by employees. The lack of fire extinguishers within the factory and the inability of fire ladders to reach the windows made escape impossible. In this case, public outrage led to early workers compensation and factory inspection legislation. But, in general, the effectiveness of focusing public attention on sweatshops and poor labor conditions has been limited by the difficulty of keeping consumers, voters, students, or other groups working on this issue for sustained periods of time. Such avenues are at best a means for focusing the attention of key parties in order to build longer term mechanisms that remain even after public attention wanes. Finally, voluntary agreements among channel participants to ensure compliancewhich sometimes have arisen from efforts to increase public pressurehave been employed at various times. For instance, in 1995, the Labor Department sponsored the Apparel Industry Partnership, in which a number of U.S. apparel manufacturers, UNITE!, the National Consumers League, the Interfaith Center on Corporate Responsibility and others agreed to monitor compliance with labor standards of contractors.30 Yet these initiatives also have limitations. It is difficult to select an organization to do the monitoring, establish the procedures to be followed, and determine who should serve as outside or independent monitors.31 Voluntary compliance measures and agreements in the United States, outside of collective bargaining, have thus far had a history of short-term viability and limited effectiveness. Policies to reduce repugnant workplace conditionsby U.S. standardsin developing nations that export apparel to the U.S. involve an even more complex range of issues. What are the appropriate labor standards? Is one only to apply the standards and regulations of the exporting country or are some higher international standards to be used? How are such standards to be established, recognized, and enforced?32 One approach would be to extend the conventions and standards established by the International Labour Office (ILO) and to enhance the effectiveness of its enforcement. The ILO held a convention on child labor in June 1998 and is considering a proposal for an annual global report on countries that have not ratified certain core workers rights, such as freedom of association, abolition of forced labor, nondiscrimination and equal remuneration, and minimum age.33 Even with such international standards adopted by the ILO, the task of enforcement remains daunting. In the United States a number of programs have been adopted that seek to change labor practices in workplaces overseas. The Department of Labor provided $500,000 to the International Program for the Elimination of Child Labor in a joint effort with the ILO to end the use of children in the manufacture of soccer balls in Pakistan. (In 1994, 35 million soccer balls were produced there, one-quarter by children.)34 Mattel, Nike, and Kathie Lee Gifford exemplify manufacturers, brand names, and celebrities who have adopted programs for overseas inspections to mitigate criticism of their possible sweatshop imports. The Council on Economic Priorities has established a global, variable social accountability standard that companies can follow to prove they adhere to an array of labor standards and pay their workers a sufficient income.35 The U.S. and European Union, through the Secretary of Labor and Commissioner for Employment and Social Affairs, have sought to develop among labor and management an acceptance of international standards to assure consumers that the products they buy are not made in sweatshops.36 In a significant sense, such efforts to deal with labor standards in apparel production simply illustrate the larger issues of trade, labor, and environmental standards that are likely to be a focus of international economic discourse over the decade ahead. In fact, it is doubtful that these issues can be separated to the extent they have been over the past decade. There are sharp differences in the United States between organized labor and business and in the political arena as well. Persistent efforts in the labor standards field indicate that separating trade, labor, and other social issues will no longer be as acceptable in the era ahead. The fact that U.S. Secretary of State Madeleine Albright took up the issue of global sweatshops is a striking example of this reality.37 The complexity of sweatshop problems makes any silver bullet solution as unlikely now as it has been throughout this century. Nonetheless, our analysis suggests a number of steps that might be taken to improve compliance with U.S. labor standards in the presence of information-integrated channels. Given the inherent resource limitations in U.S. government enforcement, inspections must be carefully targeted to yield maximum impact. One method for improving targeting would be to require each garment to include a bar code label that shows the place and time of fabrication. This would take advantage of the same technology that has been so fundamental to the changes examined in this book. Information from the bar code could more directly be used by the Wage and Hour inspectors to sample compliance and more rapidly isolate violations. Such requirements could arise either as a result of voluntary agreements among retailers and apparel suppliers or be mandated through regulation.38 Past experience suggests, however, that in this field voluntary measures need to be reinforced by regulatory authority. The viability of collective bargaining as a means, once again, to regulate sweatshop conditions largely depends on the ability of UNITE! to rebuild its collective bargaining and membership base in a smaller and more efficient industry responsive to lean retailing.39 Efforts by the union and apparel employers to link compliance with wage and working condition standards to efforts to improve the competitive viability of the industry offer promise such as through sponsoring training of apparel managers or by helping to build more responsive networks of apparel contractors to deal with retailers. But these initiatives are still at an early stage of development.40 Finally, the central role played by retailers in development and operation of the channel points to the fact that any measurewhether taken by the government, through voluntary compliance programs or via collective bargainingmust include their participation and support. The reliance of lean retailing on the promulgation of standards of performance has been well documented in this book. A logical extension of those practices might be the adoption of procedures or systems related to labor standards in domestic or offshore sourcing operations. The Coming Competitive Landscape Since the end of World War II, textile-mill products and apparel have both been characterized by substantial reductions in employment; at the same time these sectors show substantial increases in output, including shifts to higher-value products and higher productivity. Total employment in U.S. textiles is projected to continue its decline, reaching 588,000 workers by 2006, with apparel down to 714,000 at the same date. Meanwhile, outputs are projected to increase 22 and 4 percent, respectively, in the 19962006 period.41 These are scarcely moribund industries, with inflexible product and labor markets. The textile industry, in particular, has been characterized by rapid technological changes and automation; shifts to large-scale establishments; restructuring and consolidation of enterprises in spinning, weaving, and knitting; substantial capital investments in these activities and finishing operations; and a shift to products with expanding markets. Wages have risen relative to the average of all manufacturing or nondurable manufacturing. Exports have been within a few billion dollars of imports in recent years. The economics of these channels depend on the costs of the separate steps and transactionsfrom manufacture, including inventory costs, through distribution costs, retail, and sales, including markdown and stock-out costs. The costs of time to market also matters. This view of costs examined throughout this book yields quite different estimates from the traditional resort to comparative direct labor costs of manufacture as a sole basis for supply-choice decisions. Previous chapters have demonstrated that the lowest purchase price from a supplier does not necessarily yield the lowest costs at the point and time of sale or the largest profit. An established channel in which the various parties focus on time to market results in markedly different supply decisions and dynamics than those dictated by conventional direct labor costs of supplies. Given these crucial changes, the following sections review the competitive horizon for each of the industries that make up the channel. The Retail Horizon Information-integration is one of the major factors contributing to increasing concentration in the retail sector. Previously, manufacturers and suppliers to a number of retailers were often in a better position, compared with any one retailer, to report on shifting styles and tastes and estimate market direction. In many situations, they chose SKUs and set volumes for retailers. Now point-of-sales information provides retailers with reliable information on market developments and hence gives them more leverage in dealing with direct suppliers and others further from ultimate consumers. In other words, direct measurable information of consumer behavior translates into market power. The lean retailer can also transfer to its suppliers the functions (and costs) of creating floor-ready merchandise, activities that traditional retailers handled in the past. Bear in mind, however, that the information-integrated channel requires substantial investment in technologies by retailers. Although small-scale retailing continues, it is clear that an increasing proportion of retailing will be concentrated among a decreasing number of larger enterprises.42 The Internet has been often cited as an alternative to retailing and, presumably, a potential challenge to the dominant role played by lean retailers. In this regard, Tracy Mullin, President of the National Retail Federation (NRF) notes: The NRF fields a deluge of calls each week about the Internets impact on retailing. The most common question we get from reporters: How long will it take for the Internet to completely replace physical retailing? We have observed that traditional retailers are taking a cautious approach to the Internet. Yet most understand its great potential, even if they openly admit they dont have all the answers.43 A limited number of retailers are currently experimenting with the Internet, although only 9 percent of those surveyed in 1998 indicated that they currently sell products this way.44 Retailers are currently reluctant to go on-line both because they believe that their products are ill-suited for Web sales and are concerned about specific technical limitations, such as the security of electronic financial transactions.45 A number of developments, many linked to issues we have discussed, indicate both the potential and limitations of electronic retailing. In one sense, the Internet offers opportunities akin to mail-order retailing for playing a very lean game. For example, Lands Ends became an early leader in adopting certain lean retailing elements into its catalog operations and has aggressively entered Internet retailing. This retailer launched its Web site in 1995, the first major apparel retailer to do so. Its site incorporates an encryption system to protect customers against credit-card thefts.46 The Internet provides some of the advantages of mail-order sales with even lower transaction costs. However, the obstacles to virtual retailing remain formidable. Product offerings are limited in Web retail sitesthe Lands End site, for example, offered only 500 products in 1997. In addition, just as in other areas of modern retailing, a company must have a distribution system capable of getting products out efficiently on an order-by-order basis, either through internal resources or use of third-party consolidators. The economics of distribution for Web retailing, like catalog retailing, are therefore quite different from those developed even by advanced in-store lean retailers. Finally, measurement, fit, color, and texture remain central components of apparel sales. In apparelunlike the sale of goods via the Internet such as computers, software, or toolspeople want to see, feel, and try on the products. These aspects of selling apparel items do not fit well with virtual retailing. The mail-order business already contends with this problem, and these retailers cope with returns that sometimes go over one-quarter the value of sales in a given year. Consider Lands End once more. In 1991 (well before its entrance to the Internet), it was forced to cope with returns of 132,000 shirts. Each return was associated with a processing cost roughly equivalent to 25 percent of its value.47 Thus, although Internet retailing will certainly grow as a channel of distribution, the most essential longer term developments will involve the expansion of lean retailing principles to a wider and wider variety of goods sold by a decreasing number of major retailers. The Apparel Industry Horizon A central feature of information-integrated channelsindeed, the basis for our term lean retailingis the effective management of inventories at the SKU level. Throughout the modern channel, lean inventory management reduces the risk of selling perishable products, thus enhancing profits. The capability to compete increasingly depends on an enterprises ability to manage operations according to the logistics of time and flow of product, reducing time to market and the costs of holding inventory. We have made clear that holding inventory can be expensive to a supplier, whether it manufactures or sources its products, in several ways. These include capital tied up in work-in-process or finished goods; the costs of facilities used; the risks of failure to sell; and price markdowns to dispose of products. At the same time, the inability to supply product to retailers or customers is another costly risk. These risks and costs may be minimized and profits enhanced by using a combination of short-cycle and longer-cycle production lines. The short-cycle line turns out products faster but usually at a higher unit cost. The long-cycle line takes longer to produce items, but at lower costs. Balancing these lines by establishing for each SKU the precise pattern of expected variability in demand and point-of-sale information provides the means for maximizing profits. Our research suggests that the cycle time of a fast production line should be no more than a week or two to be an effective alternative for the lower costs of a long-cycle line or plant. The balancing of short-cycle and long-cycle production alternatives has direct application to the choices manufacturers and retailers face between domestic sources with potential short cycles and foreign sources with longer ones. The future of the domestic apparel industry rests on those items made using short-cycle production, which are often those with high weekly variations in sales. Such short-cycle production necessarily requires methods like modular or UPS assembly rather than the lengthy progressive bundle system. At the same time, it requires an ability to use incoming information on sales in a sophisticated manner to allocate production in this way. In a related vein, the future of domestic producers also relies on their development of capabilities for supplying fashion products on a replenishment basis. Once again, this requires a combination of practices; by using advanced forecasting methods and innovative production techniques, apparel-makers may be able to respond in very short periods of time to point-of-sale information regarding sale of products with higher fashion content. In addition, as we discussed in Chapter 8, suppliers attempting mass customization of apparel products such as jeans will need similar capabilities. The Textile Industry Horizon Textile markets in the United States no longer depend primarily on apparel as they did in the past. Currently, no more than approximately 35 percent of textile shipments are for apparel items. Textile firms now furnish a range of household products (such as sheets, bedding, towels, and rugs) and some knit products (T-shirts) directly to retailers. Such channels have adopted the information-integration described earlier as textile products have been upgraded from greige goods in a brokers market to those that involve complex finishing operations and extensive product proliferation. A number of integrated channels have therefore been developed among textiles, retailers, and their customers. Significant markets have also grown for industrial textiles in a wide range of industrial enterprises, such as automobile interiors and tire cord. The range of industrial products is expanding, including knapsacks, tea bags, tents, fishing nets, hammocks, air bags, and parachutes. Even if textile products flowing to apparel sewn in this country (or in Mexico and the Caribbean Basin, where contractors assemble garments using U.S. textiles) decline, it is realistic to assume that some U.S. textile exports will increase in the near term and that there will be substantial increases in domestic industrial markets. Still, at least one feature of textile markets warrants attention in their relations to apparel. The size of many orders preferred by the apparel industry is considerably smaller than that preferred by textile firms. Apparel-makers confront frequent changes in styles and new SKUs, while textile manufacturers seek long runs to keep capacity operating round-the-clock. In the retail-apparel-textile channels, there is a need for an information-sharing integrated systemsome form of packagerto assist in ameliorating these differences. Once again, the development of Web sites to undertake some of these connections represents an important first step in this direction. The Future of Information-Integrated Channels As we have stated throughout, textiles and apparel remain significant sectors of the U.S. economy. In 1997, together they provided more than 1.4 million jobs, and in 2006 they are projected to have combined employment of over 1.3 millionnearly 8 percent of all projected jobs in manufacturing. These sectors are far too vital to their communities and the country, and have proven sufficiently vibrant, to be dismissed by the conventional doctrine of comparative labor costs. Indeed, rather than turning the future more bleak, the introduction and the widespread adoption of lean retailing by all participants in the retail-apparel-textile channel provides new opportunities for the textile and apparel industries, at least in some segments. We see a viable future for these industrieswith a few caveats. These revived opportunities do not apply with equal effect to all branches of apparel or all parts of the fashion triangle. Garments amenable to rapid replenishment principles have the most potential for U.S. production. Our less pessimistic view of the future of these industries should not be misinterpreted. The textile sector appears more promising because it has become more directly connected to retailers and industrial users. Yet survival in both sectors belongs only to the fittest adopters of the new order of retailing and the channel. Employment levels are not projected to turn around. Instead, employment will gradually decline in both industries, while output and productivity increasethe best that any industrial sector can expect over time in the modern economy. The new order in apparel places more of a premium on scale and size, along with investments in the requisite technologies. The traditional contractor shop and small enterprise will have a smaller and even less secure role unless linked to sophisticated intermediary agents in the channel. In short, the paths these industries follow will be determined by their interconnection with one another. Providing a stitchor a package of pasta, a home computer, an automobilein time requires a growing degree of integration among business enterprises within and across industries. Whether it is Federated Department Stores or Home Depots use of point-of-sales information for inventory control; Levi Strausss or Black and Deckers efforts at customizing products to suit very specific consumer groups; or VFs or Dell Computers innovations to provide product diversity more efficiently, channel integration is driving the current industrial transformationand will continue to do so in the period ahead. Chapter 4 Propagating Organization his book, with its curious title, Investigations, seeks new questions about the universe. It is not always that everything is hidden and science must ferret out the mysteries by scouring for unknown facts, although often science proceeds in the manner of finding new facts. Rather it can be the case that the world is bluntly in front of us, but we lack the questions of the world that would allow us to see. There are stories, perhaps merely stories, of the response to early Spanish ships in the Caribbean by native inhabitants. The ships were not seenthere was no concept for them. Bluntly in front of us: The closure of catalytic and work tasks in an autonomous agent by which it genuinely constructs a rough second copy from small building blocks by adroit linking of exergonic and endergonic processes. A cell, or colony of cells, is propagating this organization of process. My aim in the current chapter is to begin to investigate what we might mean, and hence see, by propagating organization. No easy journey, this. I will begin with Maxwells demon and why measurement of a system only pays in a nonequilibrium setting. In a nonequilibrium setting, the measurements can be stored and used to extract work from the measured system. Maxwells demon is the clearest place in physics where matter, energy, and information come together. Yet, we will find the demon and his eorts at measurement tantalizingly incomplete: You see, only some features of a nonequilibrium system, if measured, reveal displacements from equilibrium from which work can, in principle, be extracted. Other features, even if measured, are useless for detecting such energy sources from which work can be extracted. Thus, whatever the demons eorts, there remain the issues of just what features of a nonequilibrium system the demon must measure such that work can be extracted, how the demon knows to measure those features rather than other useless features, and how, once measured, couplings come into existence in the universe that actually extract work. Not good enough, I shall say, to assert that in principle, work can be extracted. How does work come to be extracted? A simple example of a device that detects displacements from equilibrium and extracts work is a windmill. The vane on the windmill in eect measures the direction of the wind and pivots the windmill such that its fan blades are perpendicular to the wind. In turn, the wind does work on the blades, causing the windmill to rotate. The system as a whole measures a deviation from equilibrium (here, the direction of the wind), orients the entire system such that extraction of work by the wind is possible for the device, and it actually extracts work. The windmill turns. The universe as a wholefrom galaxies to planetary systems, and certainly our and any other biospheresis filled with entities that measure displacements from equilibrium that are sources of energy, those entities actually do extract work. Think of the teeming busyness of a coevolving mixed microbial community of long ago, successfully linking exergonic and endergonic reactions fired by the sun and other high-energy sources. That community measured displacements from equilibrium, extracted work, and inhabited Manhattan three billion years ago, literally building high-rise microbial mat ecosystems. Its microbial descendants are constructing similar high-rise structures in the Sea of Cortez and on the Great Barrier Reef of Australia today. Where did all this come from, this measuring of useful displacements from equilibrium from which work can be extracted, the devices coupling to such measurements, and the extraction of work used to build up new kinds of devices that measure new kinds of displacements from equilibrium to extract work in new ways? Yet a biosphere, actually constructing itself up from sunlight, water, and a small diversity of chemical compounds, does all this over evolutionary time. The biosphere does achieve persistent measuring of displacements from equilibrium from which work can be extracted and does discover devices to couple to those energy sources such that work can be extracted. And since the biosphere does this, and the biosphere is part of the universe, then the universe does it. This coming into existence of self-constructing ecosystems must, somehow, be physics. Thus, it is important that we have no theories for these issues in current physics. The stark fact that a biosphere builds up this astounding complexity and diversity suggests that our current physics is missing something fundamental. A biosphere becomes complex, the universe becomes complex. I will argue that the very diversity and complexity of a biosphere begets its further diversification and complexification. I strongly suspect that the same is true of the universe as a whole. The universes very diversity and complexity begets its further diversification and complexification. After exploring Maxwells demon, I will ask a physicists question, What is work? Physicists have an answerwork is force acting through distancegiven by a single number, or scalar, representing the sum of the force acting through the distance. But it will turn out that in any specific case of work, the specific process is organized in some specific way. Work is more than force acting through distance; it is, in fact, the constrained release of energy, the release of energy into a small number of degrees of freedom. It is the constraints themselveswith, as Phil Anderson points out, a kind of rigiditythat largely constitute the organization of the process. Butand here will be the hookin many cases it takes work to construct the constraints themselves. So we will come to a terribly important circle, work is the constrained release of energy, but it often takes work to construct the constraints. A conceptual cluster lies at the heart of the mystery. The cluster concerns the progressive emergence of organization in the evolution of the physical universe and of a biosphere. That emerging organization concerns the appearance in the evolving universe of entities measuring relevant rather than nonrelevant properties of nonequilibrium systems, by which they identify sources of energy that can perform work. Then physical entities appear that construct constraints on and couplings to the release of the identified source of energy whereby the energy is actually released and work comes to be performed. Such work often comes to be used to construct further detectors of energy sources and entities that harbor constraints on the release of energy, which when released constitutes work that constructs still further sources of energy and constraints on its release. It should be clear that we have at present no theories about these matters, nor even a clear concept of the subject matter of such theories. The heart of the mystery concerns a proper understanding of organization and propagating, diversifying organization. Most profoundly, the mystery concerns the historical appearance since the big bang of connected structures of matter, energy, and processes by which an increasing diversity of kinds of matter, sources of energy, and types of processes come into existence in a biosphere, or in the universe itself. This is what lies directly before us but which we have not been able to see. A biosphere does all the above. Ours has for four billion years of awesome, ill-understood creativity. Doubt it? Open your eyes and look around you. The universe, since the big bang, was and remains out of equilibrium, or vastly nonequilibrium. It was a profound insight in the development of equilibrium thermodynamics to recognize that the energy present in the thermal motions of an equilibrium gas system could not be extracted to do work. But we might ask a similar question of the nearly featureless, profound nonequilibrium of the early universe. How, in the absence of specific structures and processes, could the nonequilibrium universe couple that enormous energy to the specific generation of anything at all? Part of the answer lies in the concept of broken symmetries. Consider a pole standing vertically on a horizontal plane. In due course, it will fall over under the influence of gravity. Prior to falling, its range of possible directions to fall is the full circle. After it falls, it points in some specific direction. By falling, the pole has broken the circular symmetry of the system and come to a specific orientation. Thus part of the answer to the emergence of specific structures lies in the expansion and cooling of the universe, with the associated sequences of symmetry breakings that split the four fundamental forces, yielded a quark-gluon soup that cooled into other elementary particles, then atoms, simple molecules, self-gravitating masses, galaxies, giant molecular clouds, and second-generation stars. As symmetries broke, the variety of matter and process increased. As the variety increased, the pairwise diversity of matter and processes increased roughly as the square of the diversity. Hence, it became more probable that specific pairs of spontaneous and nonspontaneous processes might become linked in a variety of ways, capturing the energy resources of the spontaneous processes that could then flow in constrained ways into the nonspontaneous processes to yield novel consequences. Among those consequences are the construction of new structures able to measure sources of energy. Among the other consequences are the generation of novel and specific nonequilibrium energy sources and of structures and constraints that might couple to those novel specific sources of energy. The couplings and constraints, in turn, channel the release of energy in specific ways that constitutes the work that is done to construct still further novel energy sources, measuring structures, couplings, and constraints. This, in a nutshell, is the universe diversifying, constructing structures and processes, propagating and elaborating wondrous organization. In chapter I introduced the chemical adjacent possible and will return to it in later chapters. In terms of molecular diversity and other types of diversity, the universe and the biosphere keep advancing into a persistent adjacent possible. New kinds of molecules with new properties themselves and in couplings with other kinds of molecules persistently arise on planet Earth, and presumably in the giant cold molecular clouds that are the birthplaces of stars in most spiral galaxies. The new species of molecules aord the novel exergonic and endergonic reactions, novel constraints, and novel sources of energy that are part of the creativity outside our collective window. Yet we hardly know how to say what this propagation and elaboration of organization and process is, nor have we a clue about whether there may be general laws that govern such self-constructing nonequilibrium processes. Such a law could be my hoped-for fourth law of thermodynamics for open self-constructing systems. We have begun with autonomous agents. But we are here driven beyond bio-spheres. What are the general conditions that allow such self-constructing nonequilibrium processes to flourish? Are biospheres the only examples? What of the evolution of the geology of a planet, a solar system, a galaxy, the universe as a whole? Are there ways of thinking about the emergence of structures that measure and discover sources of energy in nonequilibrium systems, together with the emergence of structures and processes that couple to sources of energy, do work to construct constraints, and propagate the constrained release of the discovered energy such that more diverse structures, constraints, and processes can arise, de novo, in the adjacent possible of the evolving universe? Is the universe highly diverse, and is our biosphere diverse, because there is some general law or tendency for such nonequilibrium self-constructing systems to diversify? I confess I suspect so. In an intuitive nutshell, in a nonequilibrium setting, the greater the diversity of structures, potential reactions, or other transformations among structures, measurement processes and devices, coupling devices, and constraints that already exist in a ramified web of propagating structures, reactions, work, measurement, constraint and coupling constructions, the easier it is for the total system to generate new kinds of molecules or other structures, processes, measurement devices, couplings, and constraints such that a biosphere or the universe can expand into the newness of its adjacent possible. But those new structures, processes, measuring devices, couplings, and constraints in turn increase the total diversity, hence, enable yet further expansion into the adjacent possible, creating perpetual autocatalytic novelty on timescales that must be vastly longer than the current age of the universe. The universe, in short, is breaking symmetries all the time by generating such novelties, creating distinctive molecules or other forms which had never existed before. Indeed, there may be a general law for biospheres and perhaps even the universe as a whole along the following lines. A candidate fourth law: As an average trend, biospheres and the universe create novelty and diversity as fast as they can manage to do so without destroying the accumulated propagating organization that is the basis and nexus from which further novelty is discovered and incorporated into the propagating organization. Autonomous agents themselves, self-reproducing systems carrying out one or more work cycles linking exergonic and endergonic processes in a cyclic fashion that propagate the union of catalysis, constraint construction, and process organization that constitute such autonomous agents are but the most miraculously diversifying examples of this universal process in our unfolding, ever-changing universe. Maxwells Demon Arguably James Clerk Maxwell was the greatest scientist of the nineteenth century, notwithstanding giants such as Carnot, Boltzmann, and Darwin. While his most radical work is captured in the Maxwell equations for electromagnetic fields, which introduced the fundamental concept of fields into physics, Maxwell concerned himself deeply with the puzzle Carnot had raised in what is now called the second law of thermodynamics. Consider again a thermodynamically isolated system. That is, consider some box containing a gas, isolated from any change in its energy or mass arriving from the outside. There are N gas particles in the box, and as noted earlier, we can consider the positions and momenta of all N particles. Each position and each momentum can be decomposed into three numbers defining position and motion in the three spatial directions. Hence, the entire state of the N particles of gas can be defined by N numbers, plus a specification of the interior boundaries of the box. As described above, all the possible states of this N system of particles can be divided into very small volumes of states, which we will call microstates. Again, as noted in chapter , a macrostate is a collection of microstates. In particular, the equilibrium macrostate is a collection of microstates having the property that the gas particles are nearly uniformly distributed in the box, with a characteristic equilibrium distribution of velocities that Maxwell himself worked out. This equilibrium macrostate has the further important properties that () vastly many microstates are in the equilibrium macrostate; () a few macroscopic featurestemperature, pressure, and volumesuce to specify the equilibrium macrostate. In terms of microstates and macrostates, as we saw, the second law can be reformulated in its famous statistical mechanics incarnation. The second law becomes the statement that, at equilibrium, the system will flow from any initial macrostate such that it spends most of its time in the equilibrium macrostate. This statement of the second law does not preclude the extremely improbable case in which the N particles just happen to flow to one corner of the box. Thus, the second law is a statistical law in statistical mechanics. But now Maxwell enters and invents a wee creature, later dubbed Maxwells demon. (I confess that I find the use of the term demon here more than slightly interesting. Maxwells demon is almost an autonomous agent. While the demon is not defined as I have done, you will soon see that he seems to be able to make decisions and to act on the physical world. I suspect it is more than a mere coincidence that Maxwell and we seem forced to use this kind of intentional language. In fact, an odd feature of physics is that experimenters, who are outside the system, are always busy intentionally setting up experiments and preparing quantum systems in desired states. Surely, in a full theory the experimenters themselves, each an autonomous agent, would be part of the theory? And if not, why not? In chapter I return to this theme, for it relates to our incapacity to finitely prestate the configuration space of a biosphere.) Maxwell asks us to consider the very same box with N particles in it. But he imagines the box to be divided into two chambers by a wall with a window in it. In the window is a flap valve. When the flap valve is open, gas particles can pass from the left to the right box via the window, or from the right to the left box via the window. Now, smiles Maxwell, suppose the initial state of the gas in the box is in the equilibrium macrostate. No macroscopic work can be done by the equilibrium system. That was Carnots central point. There is plenty of energy in the random motions of the gas particles, but there is no means to extract mechanical work from it, say, to drive a piston. Next, says Maxwell, warming to his point, Imagine that my wee friend operates the flap valve such that, whenever a fast gas particle approaches the window from inside the left box toward the right box, he opens the flap and lets the faster than average, hence hotter, gas particle through. And suppose my demon also operates the flap value to let the slower than average, hence cooler, gas particles pass from the right to the left box. Well, soon the left box will be cool and the right box will be hot. And now, concludes Maxwell with a broad smile, we can use the macroscopic temperature dierence between the left and right boxes to extract mechanical work, say, by driving a piston. There you have it. Maxwell posed a severe question for statistical mechanics and the second law. It appeared that the actions of the demon might circumvent the second law. Maxwells demon has set a puzzle that is still not fully resolved. An important step in saving the second law was taken by Leo Szilard, who also conceived of the nuclear chain reaction one day in London and helped set in motion the development of the atomic bomb and atomic energy. Szilard carried out a calculation linking, for the first time, the concept of entropy and a new concept of information. The entropy of a system is a measure of its disorder. Recall that we can define the volumes of dierent macrostates by the numbers of microstates each macrostate contains. For convenience, take the logarithm of the number of microstates in each macrostate. In addition, each macrostate also has a probability of being occupied by the system. Multiply the logarithm of the number of microstates per macrostate by the probability that the system is in that macrostate. Now add up all these quantities for all the macrostates. The total is the entropy of the system. Statistically, of course, the entropy of a system either increases over time or is constant. At equilibrium it is constant. If the system is released from an initially improbable macrostate, its initial entropy for the first period of time is low since most macrostates are not occupied. However, over time it will tend to spread out over all possibilities, and the sum of the probabilities of occupancy times macrostate volumes will increase to the equilibrium value. Szilard took a first step in thinking about what Shannon later called information. Roughly Szilard realized that when the demon lets a faster or a slower gas particle pass specifically into the left or right box, respectively, then the total entropy of the system is decreasing a little bit. But in turn Szilard estimated the amount of work that must be done by the demon to discriminate that the gas particle is faster or slower than average. It turns out that the work that must be done, hence the energy utilized, equals the work that can later be extracted from the system after the fast and slow particles are separated into the two boxes. Since the work done by the demon equals the work that later can be extracted from the system, no net work can be extracted from the equilibrium system, and the second law is saved. The link to information due to Shannon comes next. Shannon was concerned with transmitting signals down wires. He brilliantly thought of the minimal signal as a yes or no answer, hence representable as the binary or , now called a bit. Shannon considered the entropy of a source sending a prospective signal as the set of possible messages that might be sent, where each message was to be weighted by the probability of actually being sent. He thought of receiving a message as reducing the entropy, or uncertainty, about which message was actually sent, given the initial set of possible messages. Thus, Shannon wound up reinventing the same mathematics that covers entropy. Here there is an ensemble of messages, and each can be thought of as occupying a volume in a space of possible messages. Each message is sent with some probability from the source. So Shannon took the logarithm of the volume in message space occupied by a message and multiplied it by the probability that that message was sent from the source. If the fraction of the total volume of message space occupied by a given message is p, then the logarithm of this volume is logp and the probability of that volume is p. Thus, the logarithm of a probability of a message multiplied by that probability itself is plogp. The sum of these plogp terms for the total set of messages at the source is the entropy of the source. Reception of a signal reduces the receivers uncertainty about what is being sent from the source, hence is a negative entropy. Shannons information measure is, thus, just the negative of the normal entropy measure. The link established by Szilard between information and Maxwells demon is, roughly, that the discrimination by the demon that a given gas molecule is faster or slower than average and whether it is coming from the left or right box (hence, whether he should open or close the flap valve) constitutes a measurement that extracts information about the gas system, hence, lowers the uncertainty about the gas system, hence, lowers the entropy of the gas system. Importantly, there is an implied observer in discussions about entropy. Thus, a physicist might typically say that the entropy of a system is due to our coarse graining of the system into (arbitrarily) chosen macrostates. If we had more information about the microscopic states of the system, our more refined coarse graining would reduce the entropy of the system from our point of view. Indeed, there has been some genuine confusion about the role of the observer and his more or less arbitrary choice of coarse graining in the concept of entropy. One resolution to this confusion has been suggested by Rolf Sinclair and Wojciech Zurek, who have returned to the demon problem with a wonderful set of concepts. When the demon has at it with the flap valve, he is, in fact, performing measurements on the gas system. As he performs the measurements, he knows more about the detailed state of the system. Now just what might it mean to know about the gas system? One useful sense of know is that the demon has some compact description of the state of the gas system. Indeed, the compact description of the equilibrium state is about as compact as you can get: A few macroscopic variablestemperature, pressure, volumesuce. One modern sense of a compact description of something is a computer program. We are to think of the computer program as a calculating engine. We give it initial input data. It has some program, typically written as a sequence of binary numbers, and , and the program operates on the input data, also a string of binary symbols, and churns out an answer. Then the concept of a compact description becomes the concept of the shortness of the symbol string giving the input data and the shortness of the program. In order to maximize compression, we must get all redundancy out of both the input symbol string and the symbol string representing the program. Sinclair and Zurek have independently carried out work that shows the following: Initially, as the demon operates, his knowledge about the system increases, hence, the entropy of the gas system decreases. But at the same time, as the demons information about the system increases, the length of the most compact description of the system increases as well. In fact, the length of the most compact description increases, on average, exactly as fast as does the decrease in the entropy of the gas system. But as the length of the most compact description increases, bit by actual bit, its information content increases, bit by bit. Thus, for each bit in reduction of the entropy of the gas system achieved by our measurements, the information content of the most compact description increases, on average, exactly as rapidly. Or, as Zurek says, in the modern interpretation, the sum of the entropy of the gas system plus the observers knowledge about that system is a constant for an equilibrium gas system. Well, we could still cheat and extract work from our measured gas system using the information about its microstate achieved by all the measurements. But Sinclair notes that, in the long run, the cheat will not work. We have had to record the information about the gas system somewhere, say, in the registers on a silicon chip. At some point in a closed system, the chip will be filled up with bits in registers. To keep measuring the equilibrium system, we will have to erase the chip. And Sinclair did the calculation that mirrors Szilards. To erase a memory-stored bit has a minimal energy cost that exactly balances the work we could get from the gas system by using the stored information about the system. The second law, again in the statistical sense, holds. No macroscopic work can be done by an equilibrium system. Measurement does not pay in an equilibrium setting. Why this long discourse? Because it does pay to measure the gas system if the gas system is not at equilibrium. Think of a simple example: The gas particles in the left box are actually hotter than the gas particles in the right box. Thus, pressure in the left box is higher than in the right box. If the flap valve is opened, gas will tend to flow from the left to the right box until equilibrium is established. Note that a very simple, compact description has captured these features of the nonequilibrium system, and work can be extracted as the gas system flows to equilibrium. More generally, Zureks point is that as measurements are performed on a nonequilibrium gas system, the length of the most compact description increases more slowly than the knowledge thus gained reduces the entropy of the system. It pays to measure the nonequilibrium system in the sense that those measurements specify the displacements from equilibrium that constitute energy sources that can be utilized to extract work. So the demon is indeed a place in physics where matter, energy, information, and indeed, work, come together. Lets consider just how work might actually be extracted in the classical Maxwell demon situation with an ideal gas in two boxes separated by a partition with the window and flap valve. As a simple example, consider again the tiny windmill mentioned above, consisting of a fan and a vane perpendicular to the fan. Let the windmill be located very near the window with the flap valve inside the total gas system. If the flap valve is opened, a wind will pass transiently from the left to the right box. The windmills vane will measure the direction of the wind and actually orient the windmill fan blades perpendicular to the wind. The wind will cause the fan to turn, thus the turning fan extracts mechanical work from the system until equilibrium is reached. But now we need to pause and reflect, for the story of the demon is both tantalizing and incomplete. Consider again our tiny windmill. What feature of the total gas system was measured and detected such that work could be extracted? Roughly, the wind from the left to the right box. But not all measurements of the two-box system would have resulted in information that was useful, in the sense that work could have been extracted by the actual box in its actual configuration. For example, the box with the flap valve separates the left and right boxes; suppose that there is an identical number of gas molecules in the two equal-sized boxes and that the gas in the left box is hotter than the gas in the right box. Further, suppose the demon measures the number and instantaneous locations of all the gas particles in the left and right boxes. The fact that the particles in the left box are hotter than those in the right box, hence are moving faster than those in the right box, would not be revealed by a measurement of the instantaneous numbers and locations of all the gas particles in the left and right boxes. To measure faster motion, the demon must measure positions at two time moments or some other feature, such as the recoil of the boxs walls from the momentum transferred by the hotter versus cooler gas particles in the left and right boxes as they bounce o the wall. So, just how does the demon decide (Figure .) or come to measure the relevant properties such that an energy source is successfully identified such that work can be extracted? We have, in fact, no answer as yet. But this is an essential issue. Only certain features of a nonequilibrium system will, upon measurement, reveal a displacement from equilibrium that can actually be used to extract work. Other features, if measured, are useless with respect to revealing a displacement from equilibrium that can be used to extract work by any given specific system. It is important to stress that we have here a sense of useful outside the context of autonomous agents. Useful measurements detect features of displacements from equilibrium that reveal energy sources from which work can be extracted. Only some measurements are actually useful in this sense in a biosphere, a geosphere, or a galaxy. These useful measurements participate together with the coming into existence of devices that extract work used to build further measurement and work extraction structures, in the gradual buildup of the diversity of structures and processes of a biosphere, a geosphere, a galaxy, or a universe. This buildup is part of why the universe is complex. I believe that we can ultimately create a statistical theory of the probability of the generation of specific novel processes, structures, and energy sources; propagation of measurements; detection of useful sources of energy; and couplings of structures and processes to the energy sources to extract work and progressively build up still further new structures, energy sources, and processesall as a function of the current diversity of structures, transformation processes, and measuring and coupling entities. Such statistical theories should be constructable, for example, for a giant cold molecular galactic cloud or early prebiotic planet or, most fundamentally, the expanding universe as a whole. We need a theory in which symmetry breaking begets further symmetry breaking in a progressive construction of diversifying structures and processes. Chapter , with its discussion of the origin of self-reproducing molecular systems as a phase transition to supracritical behavior in catalyzed chemical reaction graphs as a function of molecular diversity and the ratio of reactions to molecular species, is a partial prototype for such a statistical theory. A further partial prototype is present in chapter , with its discussion of autonomous agents as self-reproducing physical systems that do successfully measure displacements from equilibrium and do successfully evolve to couple exergonic and endergonic reactions to achieve completed work cycles. The vast and richly coupled network of coupled exergonic and endergonic reactions in the global ecosystem is proof positive of such propagating construction in the physical universe. In chapter I will discuss a quantum analogue to such a theory, in which complex quantum systems that couple tend to decohere irreversibly to classical behavior and thereby progressively build up complex classical structures. It is also important to unpack the sense, three paragraphs above, of actually and any specific system. Consider a single gas particle in a box. Measure its location, left or right of any arbitrary surface transecting the box. Here arbitrary means that we can choose to perform any such measurement we wish by placing the partition arbitrarily in the box. If we know the particle is to the left of a given arbitrary partition, we can in principle extract work by allowing the particle to pass through a window in the partition and do work on a fan as it passes to the right box. Hence, it seems that in principle any such arbitrary measurement can detect a source of energy that can be used to extract work. But the conclusion is false that any arbitrary measurement of our single-gas-molecule system can detect a displacement from equilibrium from which work can be extracted. The in principle just above includes the idea that, having made an arbitrary choice of placement of the partition and a measurement of which side of the partition the particle is in and, hence, having detected by that arbitrary measurement the displacement from equilibrium that is a source of energy, we can afterward decide on a construction procedure that will utilize the information about the displacement from equilibrium to extract work from the measured, nonequilibrium system. In short, we can place the windmill in the system after we have measured the location of the gas particle. We measure first, then place the windmill in the compartment that does not have the particle of gas, such that that particle, upon passing through the flap valve, will cause the windmill to turn slightly. But what if we already have constructed the system that is to extract the work, as in the tiny windmill case, and already mounted the windmill at a specific location inside the box? Thereafter we perform an arbitrary measurement by placing the partition in the box and then locate the gas particle. We may have placed the partition in the box such that the windmill is on the same side of the partition that has the gas molecule, rather than placing the partition such that the prepositioned windmill is in the empty side. No net work can be extracted. The gas molecule will repeatedly bounce o the windmill fan from all angles. No net rotation of the fan can occur. Thus, in a concrete context, when we can no longer alter the work-extracting structure, such as the location of the windmill, but perform the measurement after the work-extracting system is in place, then only certain measurements of the nonequilibrium system will detect sources of energy that can couple to the work-extracting structure such that work is extracted. Other measurements of the extant nonequilibrium system may be utterly useless in the sense that no sources of energy that can couple to the work-extracting system are detected. We see the hints here of something new. Only certain features of a given nonequilibrium system, if measured, will result in detection of sources of energy that might become coupled to specific other processes that, by doing work, propagate macroscopic changes in the universe. Moreover, the tiny windmill is an example of a device that not only detects the wind from the left to the right box, but also orients the fan perpendicular to that wind and has couplings and constraints embodied in its structure such that mechanical work is actually extracted. Fine, but we built the tiny windmill. How do such coupling structures that link identified sources of energy to the carrying out of work come to exist in the universe on their own? There is not the slightest doubt, for example, that such entities have come into existence in our biosphere as autonomous agents have coevolved over the eons. Thus, a host of new questions are raised. In the beginning, presumably, the universe was simple, homogeneous, featureless, almost isotropic. Now it is vastly complex. In the beginning, the early Earth had a paucity of complex molecules, chemical reactions, linked structures and processes. Now it is vastly complex. The universe as a whole has witnessed the coming into existence of novel structures and processes; so too has the biosphere. Where no dierence existed, dierences have come into existence. In a general sense, the persistent emergence of dierent structures and processes is the persistent breaking of the symmetry of the universe. What feeds this apparent propagating diversity? One aspect may be the following. Consider again the case of the box with the flap valve and something simpler than a fan, say a small mica flake suspended in the cooler of the left and right boxes. If the flap valve be opened, a wind from the hotter to the cooler box is transiently present. This is a simple displacement from equilibrium, and a simple device, the mica flake, will be made to quake, hence, extract mechanical work. Now consider an antiferromagnetic material. Such material has magnetic dipoles that, when adjacent, prefer to point in opposite directions. The north pole of one prefers to be adjacent to the south poles of its neighbors. If arranged along a straight line, an antiferromagnetic material has two equivalent lowest-energy ground states, NSNSNSNSN versus SNSNSNSNS. Now consider a subtle displacement from one of these lowest-energy states, say NNNSNSSSN. Here, rather than alternating N and S poles being next to one another, runs of NNN and SSS occur. The energy of the total system would be lowered if the dipoles flipped orientation to come closer to one or the other of the ground energy states. Therefore, at a suciently low temperature such that the system can flow to and remain at a ground state, the NNNSNSSSN antiferromagnet is displaced from its lowest-energy equilibrium state, and in principle, work could be extracted from this system as it relaxes to one of the two lowest-energy states. But notice now that, compared to detecting the direction of the wind by the mica flake, a rather complex and subtle measurement must be made by any measuring device that is to detect the subtle displacement from equilibrium and that any device that is to use that displacement to extract work must be correspondingly subtle. Roughly speaking, a measuring device must be of similar complexity to the antiferromagnet. Indeed, a second antiferromagnet could serve as a measuring device if it were near its own ground state and brought into proximity to the first antiferromagnet. The runs of SSS and NNN in the first antiferromagnet, brought close to a second one with ground state runs of SNS and NSN could cause the first antiferromagnet to flip closer to its ground states. Hence, the measuring-detecting-extracting device must be more structurally and functionally complex than a mere mica flake considered as a thin planar crystal. The linked exergonic and endergonic organic chemistry reactions present in the molecular autonomous agents that we call cells exemplify just this structural and functional subtlety. The electric charge distribution on two complex organic molecules brought into proximity, coupled with the modes of translational, vibrational, and rotational motions, constitute the subtle means to measure displacements from equilibrium, couple to those displacements, and achieve linked catalyzed exergonic and endergonic reactions. As the molecular diversity of the biosphere increases, more such molecular species displaced from equilibrium come into existence, more such molecular species able to detect such displacements from equilibrium come into existence, more such coupled catalyzed exergonic and endergonic reactions come into existence. In general, it would begin to appear that as a higher diversity of entities come into existenceentities that are then necessarily more complextheir modes of being in nonequilibrium conditions increase in diversity and subtlety. In turn, the very existence of sets of these increasingly diverse and complex entities gives them an increased number of ways, and so an increased probability, to couple with one another such that one may measure a displacement from equilibrium of the other; hence, these entities happen upon a source of energy that can be and is extracted to do work. In turn, that work may drive nonspontaneous processes to create still more complex molecular species or other entities in the adjacent possible. In short, there appears to be some positive relationship between the diversity and complexity of structures or processes and the diversity and complexity of the features of a nonequilibrium system, which can be detected and measured by the detecting structure to identify a source of energy, then couple to the source of energy and actually extract work. If there is a relation such that diverse and complex features of nonequilibrium systems useful as sources of energy can best be detected by equally diverse and complex structures, then there appears to be some generalized autocatalytic set of processes in the universe since the big bang, and in a biosphere, by which nonequilibrium systems of increasing complexity and diversity arise, provide sources of energy of increasing subtlety and complexity, and in turn are detected and extracted by the increasingly complex structures that arise. Of course, to hint the above is to hint an initial answer. At least in our bio-sphere, the cumulative coevolution of autonomous agents has, in the past four billion years, achieved precisely such a diversification. Cells and organisms have achieved astonishingly ramified and subtle detectors that measure sources of energy, plus coupling devices, that extract work and use it to build rough copies of themselves. Thus, metabolism in cells is a coupled web of chemical reactions among simple, complex, and very complex organic molecules, ranging from carbon dioxide to proteins comprised of thousands of amino acids. The catalytic sites of enzymes possess high stereospecificitythat is, shape specificityfor the transition state of the substrate(s) of the reaction. Such reactions may release energy or may couple the release of energy to the endergonic synthesis of other molecular species. Cells are replete with equally stunning receptor complexes decorating their surfaces. Binding a ligand to a receptor may trigger a complicated sequence of reactions leading to the synthesis of hundreds of dierent molecular species. But the high specificity of molecular interactions in a cell are precise examples of the coming into existence of richly nuanced, structurally and procedurally complex molecular processes that measure and detect sources of energy, and couple those sources to the carrying out of further chemical, electrical, or mechanical work. A coevolving biosphere achieves exactly the emergence of such self-constructing diversifying organization. Whether galaxies, planetary, stellar, or other systems do as well is an open question. Again, one senses the possibility of a statistical theory of the propagation and self-elaboration of such linked structure transformational systems. Work Lets turn to the concept of work. I have detailed evidence that work is a puzzling concept. I am deeply proud that Phil Anderson, one of the worlds best physicists, is a close friend. One day over an Indian dinner in Santa Fe, thinking of the issues above and of more to come, I said, Phil, the concept of work is rather puzzling. Phil cracked o a bit of chapati, scooped some chutney onto it, paused, and said, Yes. Thank God. Im not a physicist, so I was glad to get through that hurdle. I shall proceed in steps. First, lets just consider the physicists definition of work as the integral of force acting through distance. The physicist has in mind something like Newtons laws, where F = MA. And we understand distance, plain old nonrelativistic distance. So the work done is given by just adding up little increments of the force acting on a mass and accelerating it through a distance. But already there is a bit of a puzzle. In any specific case of work done, some direction of application of force is specified in three-dimensional space, some actual direction of motion of the mass is specified in three-dimensional space, and some actual coupling mechanism is in place such that the force does act on the mass and get it to accelerate in that direction. How does the specification of a direction come to be? How does the organization of the specific case of work come about? Now in normal physics, say, college-level physics, all these specifications occur at the beginning of the problem, in the statement of the initial and boundary conditions. The billiard balls are in such and such positions on the billiard table, the cue is moved with such and such velocity and strikes a given ball in such and such a position with such and such velocity. Now, given Newtons calculus, let us compute the forward trajectory of the balls on the table. So the puzzle of where the initial and boundary conditions come from, and the specific coupling of cue to ball, are hidden in the initial and boundary conditions of the problem and in how Newton taught us to calculate. In short, the problem of the organization of the process in any specific case of work is hidden from view in the initial and boundary conditions of the usual statement of the physical problem. In eect, this choice is the choice of the relevant degrees of freedom, which is equivalent to the choice of the boundary conditions versus the dynamical variables of the system. But an evolving biosphere is all about the coming into existence in the universe of the complex, diversifying ever-changing initial and boundary conditions that constitute coevolving autonomous agents, with their changing organization of capacities to measure and detect energy sources, and couple those detected energy sources to systems that sometimes extract work. We will return in a subsequent chapter to ask if it makes sense to try to finitely prestate the initial and boundary conditions of a biosphere. I will claim that it does not. I will claim that we cannot finitely prespecify the configuration space of a biosphere, hence, we cannot finitely prespecify the initial and boundary conditions of a biosphere. If so, then we cannot hide the issue of the organization of work processes in a statement of the initial and boundary conditions of the biosphere. We must grapple with the emergence and propagation of organization itself on its own terms. If so, perhaps there is something amiss with the way Newton taught us to do science in his spectacular career. Lets take a second look at work. Consider an isolated thermodynamic system. At equilibrium the system can do no work. But let the system be partitioned into two or more domains, say, by a membrane. Ah, then one part of the system can do work on the other part. For example, if the average pressure in one part is higher than in another part, the first part can bulge the membrane into the second part. Where did the membrane come from? How does the system come to be partitioned? Is this just another initial or boundary condition hiding from view the question: Where did this organization of stu and process come from? Meanwhile, note that the concept of work appears to require that the universe be partitioned. Regions of the universe must be distinguished (by what or whom?) such that work manages to happen. Now I come to a definition I like, due to Atkins in his book on the second law. Atkins defines work as the constrained release of energy. Work is, says Atkins, a thing. Think about the cylinder and piston in the idealized Carnot cycle, with the hot, compressed working gas in the chamber. What are the constraints? The cylinder and the piston, the position of the piston in the cylinder, the grease between the piston and cylinder are constraints. These roughly suce, together with the hot gas compressed in the cylinder head, for work to happen as the hot gas expands and pushes on the piston. Where did these constraints come from? In actual fact, in the current case some human, or some machine made by a human, did work to construct the cylinder, the piston, assemble the piston into the cylinder with working gas and grease in place. Then more work was done to compress and heat the gas by pushing on the piston from the outside. So we appear to come to an interesting circle. It sometimes takes work to construct constraints, and it takes constraints to get work. Does it always take work to construct constraints? No, as we will soon see. Does it often take work to construct constraints? Yes. In those cases, the work done to construct constraints is, in fact, another coupling of spontaneous and nonspontaneous processes. But this is just what we are suggesting must occur in autonomous agents. In the universe as a whole, exploding from the big bang into this vast diversity, are many of the constraints on the release of energy that have formed due to a linking of spontaneous and nonspontaneous processes? Yes. What might this be about? Ill say it again. The universe is full of sources of energy. Nonequilibrium processes and structures of increasing diversity and complexity arise that constitute sources of energy and that measure, detect, and capture those sources of energy, build new structures that constitute constraints on the release of energy, and hence drive nonspontaneous processes to create more such diversifying and novel processes, structures, and energy sources. I find it delightful that we hardly have the concepts to state these issues; surely we have as yet no coherent theory for this burgeoning of process and structure. Whatever it is, a biosphere does it. It was quite barren in Nebraska, wherever Nebraska was, four billion years ago. Not now. Propagating Work By way of whimsy, consider Figures .a and .b. Figure .a exhibits a cannon, clearly marked cannon, firing a cannonball, clearly marked cannonball, that hits the ground some distance away, creating a hole, clearly marked hole. In addition to creating the hole, the cannonball, now embedded in the bottom of the hole, has created hot dirt, marked hot dirt. In Figure .b I exhibit a devicea Rube Goldberg device, in factof which I am extremely proud. The same cannon as in .a now fires the same cannonball, which, however, hits a paddle on a sturdy paddle wheel I constructed. Once struck by the cannonball, the paddle wheel is set to spinning. Prior to my firing the cannonball, I contrived to tie one end of a red rope around the axle of the paddle wheel and a modest size bucket to the other end of the rope. Thereafter, I dropped the bucket down the well. The water-filled bucket has now rested, silent and waiting, until the cannonball strikes the paddle wheel, whereupon the wheel spins, the red rope winds up, pulling the water-filled bucket up the well, up against the axle, which tilts the bucket overyou will have to imagine this partand pours the water into a long funnel that slopes down from the wellhead toward my bean field. When the water from the bucket arrives at the bottom of the water pipe, it pushes against a flap valve, thereby opening the valve and watering my bean field. You can see why I might be proud of my machine. What is the dierence between .a and .b? The point of the cannon and cannonball in the two figures is to emphasize that there is the same total input of energy into the two cases. The explosion of gunpowder is evidently the same, as is the flight of the cannonball. Obviously, in Figure .a, most of the energy carried by the cannonball is dissipated as heat, random molecular motions induced in the particles of dirt. Indeed, I might have sent the cannonball bouncing along a large steel plate rather than hitting mere dirt. In the case of the plate, no hole would have formed, and hot steel would have been the consequence. In Figure .b, my Rube Goldberg device achieves a rudimentaryor sophisticated, depending upon pride of inventorshippropagation of macroscopic consequences in the universe. Note the linking of spontaneous and nonspontaneous processesthe arc of the cannonball imparting energy that winds the wheel and lifts the water-filled bucket. Note also the constraints everywhere present that coordinate the flow of energy into the specific, if slightly comical, unfolding of events. In fact, my fine Rube Goldberg device does not quite demonstrate all I might wish it to show, for it does not demonstrate the use of the release of energy to actually construct constraints. However, an ingenious modification of my device, of which I am also deeply proud, demonstrates constraint construction. Let us modify the device such that the cannonball, after hitting the paddle wheel and setting it spinning, is deflected downward onto the ground and digs a long shallow groove in the dirt, with high sides due to the displaced dirt. Let this groove lead to the bean field and guide the water spilled from the bucket such that it flows to water the bean field. The digging of the groove in the dirt by the cannonball constitutes the construction of constraints on the release of energy, for the water flowing down the gravitational potential to the bean field is just such a constrained release of energy. My Rube Goldberg device propagates work; it succeeds in creating a sequence of coordinated macroscopic changes in the physical universe. I do not know a formal definition of propagating work, so, in the absence of anything better, I will point at what I mean by Figure .b. We have some clues in place now. Work is the constrained release of energy. Often constraints themselves are the consequence of work. I have tentatively defined an autonomous agent as a self-reproducing system that carries out at least one work cycle. In turn, this led us to note that an autonomous agent is necessarily a nonequilibrium device, therefore, that it stores energy. To think about work cycles, we have been driven to ask about Maxwells demon, measurement, when and why measurement pays, thence to what features of a nonequilibrium system are measured such that they constitute a source of energy, thence to how couplings arise that capture the energy source, thence to work and constraints, and now to propagating work due to the occurrence of linked sets of constraints and flows of matter and energy. A next step is to realize that the only well-known autonomous agents, namely real cells such as yeast, bacteria, your cells and mine, do actually carry out linked processes in which spontaneous and nonspontaneous processes are coupled to build constraints on the release of energy. The energy, once released, constitutes work that propagates to carry out more work, building more constraints on the release of energy, which when released constitutes work that propagates further. Figure . is a schematic representation of a cell. The figure shows a typical bilipid membrane, small organic molecules of dierent species, A, B, C, D, E, F, G, a transmembrane channel, and so forth. Now, in fact, your cell typically does thermodynamic work to build up lipids from smaller molecular species. Typically, the energy is supplied by breakdown of ATP to ADP or similar exergonic reactions in metabolism. But lipids have the capacity to fall to a low energy structure, which is precisely a bilipid layer. As noted in chapter , lipids are molecules with a hydrophobic tail and a hydrophilic head. The hydrophilic head, as the name implies, likes water. Consequently, in an aqueous environment lipids will tend to form bilipid membranes with the hydrophilic heads facing the aqueous medium and the hydrophobic tails buried next to one another, away from the water. In fact, if you take some cholesterol, or another lipid or lipidlike molecule, and dissolve it in water, bilayer membrane vesicles form spontaneously that are called liposomes. So, your cells do thermodynamic work to make lipids, which spontaneously form a low-energy structure, the membrane. But the membrane constitutes constraints. Watch. A and B are small organic molecular species and are capable of three hypothetical reactions. A and B can undergo a two substratetwo product reaction to form C and D. A and B can ligate to form a single product, E. Or A and B can undergo a dierent two substratetwo product reaction to form F and G. Naturally, each of these three reaction pathways from A and B passes along its own reaction coordinates through its own dierent transition state. Because each of the three transition states has a higher energy than does A and B or the products C and D or E or F and G, the transition state energy is a potential energy barrier, slowing the reaction from A and B down any of the three reaction pathways. Let A and B dissolve in the bilipid membrane from the aqueous interior of the cell. Once this happens, immersion of A and B in the membrane environment alters the vibrational, rotational, and translational motions, or degrees of freedom, of A and B. But, in turn, these alterations in the motions of A and B alter the heights of the transition state energies along each of the three reaction pathways from A and B to C and D or to E or to F and G. But the alteration in potential energy heights along the three dierent reaction pathways from A and B is precisely the alteration of the constraints on these reactions. The barrier heights, together with the even higher energy barriers that provide the walls of the reaction coordinates along which the reaction proceeds, constitute the constraints. So, in fact, the cell has actually done thermodynamic work to construct constraints on the release of chemical energy stored in A and B, that might be released to form C and D or E or F and G. Moreover, the cell does thermodynamic work, utilizing ATP degradation to ADP, to link amino acids together into a protein enzyme. The enzyme diuses to the A-and-B-laden region of the membrane and binds stereospecifically to the transition state leading from A and B to the products C and D. By binding the transition state complex of this reaction pathway, the enzyme lowers the potential barrier for the A + B C + D reaction, and the chemical energy stored in A + B is released to form C + D. Thus the cell does work, both to construct constraints and to modify those constraints, by raising or lowering potential barriers such that chemical energy is released. More, the released energy can, and often does, propagate to do work constructing more constraints. Thus, the product D may itself diuse to a transmembrane channel and bind to the channel, giving up some energy stored in its structure by an internal rotation to a lower energy state, and thereby both bind the channel and add energy to the channel to open the channel such that calcium ions can enter the cell. A spontaneous and a nonspontaneous process are coupled. Work propagates in cells and often does so by the construction of constraints on the release of energy, which when released constitutes work that propagates to construct more constraints on the release of energy. Records Lets turn to the concept of a record. As we saw, Zurek has led us to the point, in thinking about Maxwells demon, at which a record of measurements might be kept and used later to extract work. In the case of a nonequilibrium system, in principle, measurements of a system might pay in the sense that more work could be extracted from the systemwhich now becomes a provider of energythan need be used to record and later erase the measurement. Interestingly, the erasure cost suggests that autonomous agents must be finitely displaced from equilibrium to aord the finite erasure cost and still reproduce. In addition, of course, rapid reproduction requires finite displacement from equilibrium. We have many colloquial notions of a record. I want to try a tentative technical definition: Records are correlated macroscopic states that identify sources of energy that can be tapped to extract work. Thus, we are to think of records as recording measurements that identify the source(s) of energy in the measured system, which may then be tapped to do work. My example of the wind through the window in Maxwells two-chambered gas system is a case in point. We have good grounds from Zureks work to believe that the complexity of the record is related to the reduction in entropy of the measured system. Notice some interesting features of records. First, a useless feature of a nonequilibrium system with respect to extraction of work may be recorded. Second, errors may be made in the record of a useful feature of a nonequilibrium system from which work can be extracted. Third, the record may go out of date, so that work can no longer be extracted by reference to the record. Fourth, the record may be erased and may be updated. All the above features arise in a coevolving microbial community. Indeed, all sorts of signaling pathways in cells record and report energy sources and coordinate cellular activities within and between cells in a community. Mutation, recombination, and selection are means to update the recording devices with respect to changing sources of energy, opportunity, and danger. Again we see that cells in a community have the embodied know-how to get on with making a living. We are struggling with a circle of concepts involving work, constraint, constraint construction, propagating work, measurements, couplings, energy, records, matter, processes, events, information, and organization. It has been said by many that we do not understand the linking of matter, energy, and information. The circle above points at something we must trouble ourselves to understand, and I suspect that the triad of matter, energy, and information is insucient. Rather, the missing something concerns organization. While we have, it seems, adequate concepts of matter, energy, entropy, and information, we lack a coherent concept of organization, its emergence, and self-constructing propagation and self-elaboration. If we do not yet understand organization fully, we can at least think about what happens in autonomous agents such as real cells. A real cell, a real molecular autonomous agent, does in fact carry out self-reproduction. In addition, it carries out one or more real work cycles, linking spontaneous and nonspontaneous processes. It does, in fact, measure, detect, and record sources of energy and does do work to construct constraints on the release of energy, which when released in the constrained way, propagates to do more work, often constructing further constraints on the release of energy or doing work by driving further nonspontaneous processes. Cells do achieve propagating work. The work propagating in a cell achieves a closure in a set of propagating work tasks such that the cell literally constructs a rough copy of itself. In a later chapter I will return to discussing tasks, which turn out on a Darwinian analysis to be a subset of the causal consequences of the release of energy at a point and time in the system. For the moment, I want to focus on the concept of a closure in a set of propagating work tasks. We know what it means to cook dinner, eat dinner, and clean up afterward. A coordinated set of activities is carried out that completes the events concerning preparing, eating, and cleaning up after dinner. The notion of completing a set of tasks is not mystical. So we can straightforwardly state that a cell completes a set of propagating work tasks such that it builds a copy of itself by linking spontaneous and nonspontaneous processes in constrained ways. Thus, a molecular autonomous agent achieves two dierent closures. First, it achieves a catalytic closure; all the reactions that must be catalyzed are catalyzed by molecular members of the system. Second, it achieves a closure in a set of propagating work tasks by which it completes the construction of a rough copy of itself. Cells achieve this work-task closure, nor is there anything nonobjective about this truth. Notice that the closure in catalytic and work tasks cannot be defined locally. No single reaction, no single linking of spontaneous and nonspontaneous processes typically suces to specify the closures we are describing. These closures are typically collective properties of the entire autonomous agent in its environment. In fact, cells achieve closure in some wider range of tasks by which they propagate their organization. Thus, cells carry out measurements and record them all the time. The bacterium swimming upstream in a glucose gradient was my initial candidate example of an autonomous agent. The bacterium does so by molecular sensors that measure glucose, a molecular motor with a stator and a rotor that can rotate in either direction, and a flagellum that can rotate in two directions, causing swimming in one direction and tumbling in the other. The cell achieves swimming upstream by continuing to swim if the glucose concentration is rising and tumbling then swimming in a random direction if not. Autonomous agents achieve catalytic and propagating work-task closures by which they build copies of themselves. The myriad sensors, receptors, ligands, enzymes, and linked reactions of metabolism are the structure and dynamic of the reproducing cellular autonomous agent that constitutes the measurement, detection, recording, and search for useful energy sources to link into its ongoing construction of itself. The propagating closure of events and organization that is a cell or colony of cells, an autonomous agent, or a collection of autonomous agents is not matter alone, energy alone, entropy alone, nor the negation of entropy, Shannons information, alone. The propagating closure that is an autonomous agent appears to be a new physical concept that we have not known how to see before. What we can here see is the natural embodiment of organization. We have, I suggest, no coherent concept of organization. We have tended to think that the concept of entropy, of order and disorder in statistical arrangements of states of aairs, is the proper and central concept of organization. But I claim that entropy is not yet adequate. Nowhere does entropy cover the topics we have discussed, the closure of catalysis and propagating work tasks creating the complete whole that is an autonomous agent coevolving in a biosphere. This closure of tasks, measurements, records, and linkages that propagates macroscopic work seems to constitute at least an ostensive definition, a definition by example, of organization. Although my discussion above about organization is still preliminary, the basic points seem correct. A coevolving mixed microbial community that existed some three billion years ago, diversifying and coevolving via Darwinian mutation, recombination, and natural selection, did, in fact, measure and detect and create an increasing variety of energy sources, did, in fact, couple those detected energy sources into work cycles and other activities, and did, in fact, build a biosphere. Self-constructing organization did and does propagate. Our globe is covered by this propagating organizationlife and its consequences. Indeed, it seems important to wonder which conditions in a nonequilibrium universe would allow such propagating organization to proliferate. A biosphere does it, of course. One can imagine a watery planet with small sail boats, sails, and tillers trimmed to tack forever on a left tack, forever circling the everywhere ocean. Here the sails and tiller match the windmill and its vane, orienting the fan to capture the transient wind and extract mechanical work. Intuitively, it seems unlikely that such a planet of nonliving complex entities could have arisen spontaneously since the big bang. Just as intuitively, all we have discussed seems sucient for the ongoing diversification of propagating organization: the Darwinian processes of natural selection and random variation, the coevolutionary construction of vastly complex autonomous-agent cell systems that continually evolve ever-novel measurements of novel sources of energy, recordings of those energy sources, couplings to those sources, constraint construction, and the linking of exergonic and endergonic reactions that builds the diversifying biosphere. The biosphere is the most rambunctiously complex, integrated, diversifying, milling, buzzing, busyness in the universe that we know. Perhaps there are other biospheres, and they too hum in persistent diversification. Autonomous agents appear to be a sucient condition for application of this concept of organization, and a biosphere comprised of coevolving autonomous agents appears to be a sucient condition for propagating self-constructing organization. It remains an open question whether other structures and processes in the universe that may not be autonomous agentssay, lifeless galaxies, stars, the giant molecular clouds in galaxies, or lifeless planetscan generate and propagate diversifying organization as radically well as do biospheres. I close this chapter by asking whether there is a way to mathematize the concept of an autonomous agent and, through it, the concept of propagating organization. The answer is, perhaps, category theory. I am honored to note, in memorium, that my friend and colleague Robert Rosen first explored some of these issues and some others of those touched upon here in his book Life Itself. Category theory is a branch of mathematics concerning mappings. Consider a domain and a range. A mapping takes points in the domain to points in the range. The mappings might be :, or :many, or many:. For example, in a : mapping, each point in the domain maps to a single corresponding point in the range. The domain and range can be discrete sets or continuous. An interesting feature of categories is that a category can have the property that the mapping from the domain to the range is specified by the category itself in a recursive way; the elements of the range determine the mapping from the domain to the range. This recursive specification comes close to an autocatalytic set. We need merely think of a set of molecular species in the domain and a set of molecular species in the range; the mapping from domain to range is just the set of reactions that transform the initial substrate molecules in the domain to the product molecules in the range. Now, an autocatalytic set has the property that certain product molecules in the range, namely the products that are also catalysts, choose the reactions that are catalyzed from the substrates to the products, hence, choose the specific mapping from the domain to the range. Thus, an autocatalytic set can be thought of as this kind of recursive category. The category theory image is at least a start with respect to catalytic closure. Perhaps some enhanced category theory that includes closures of work tasks, measurements, and records, as well as catalysis, is part of what an adequate formalization of autonomous agent may be. It is too early to say. On the other hand, I am not persuaded that category theory will suce. In category theory it seems necessary to specify ahead of time all the possible domains and ranges and mappings under consideration. I will suggest in a later chapter when we consider the evolution of novelties that there is no finite prespecification for the work tasks, measurements, records, and catalytic tasks that might constitute autonomous agents. In short, I will argue that we cannot prestate the configuration space of a biosphere. Whether an incapacity to prestate the configuration space of a biosphere genuinely precludes the use of category theory to mathematize the concepts of autonomous agents and propagating organization is an open question. We have arrived at this: An autonomous agent, or a collection of them in an environment, is a nonequilibrium system that propagates some new union of matter, energy, constraint construction, measurement, record, information, and work. It is a new organization of process and events. The collective behaviors of coevolving autonomous agents have, over the past four billion years, constructed a biosphere. If life is common, the elaboration of biospheres in the universe is rife. The propagating union of work cum record cum measurement cum constraint construction, the propagation of organization unfolding and diversifying, exhibits the very creativity of the universe. We are entitled to ask whether there may be general laws governing such nonequilibrium self-constructive processes in biospheres and the universe as a whole. I return to candidate general laws in chapters and . A CONFERENCE OF STATEWIDE PROGRAMS February 8 - 9, 2002 Indianapolis, Indiana Introduction In the summer of 2001, LSC's State Planning Team determined that there is a critical need to communicate clearly the key elements of planning related to statewide legal services programs. The Team suggested a national initiative to bring together executive directors of statewide programs around the state planning agenda. The goal was to focus executive directors on the fundamentals of planning for client-centered, comprehensive, integrated statewide justice communities. This initiative was specifically designed to bring together executive leadership from newly created statewide LSC-funded programs and the experienced leadership of the more historical statewide programs. This peer group benefited from the opportunity to come together to discuss the challenges and new opportunities created by the processes of state planning. Background This meeting was originally scheduled for September 13 - 15, 2001, but was postponed in the aftermath of the September 11th attack on the U.S. LSC staff planned and coordinated this conference, and the Corporation sponsored the participation of executive directors by covering their travel costs. Additionally, programs were offered the option of sending additional staff to the conference at their own expense. Amidst a professional and amiable backdrop, the conference was convened at the Marriott Hotel in downtown Indianapolis, Indiana. A total of 31 program representatives attended, and every statewide program was represented with the exception of Idaho, whose executive director and senior management were unable to attend. Also in attendance were representatives from the Puerto Rico, Guam and Virgin Islands programs. Don Saunders attended from the NLADA. LSC staff in attendance included Randi Youells, Vice President for Programs; Mauricio Vivero, Vice President for Government Relations/Public Affairs; Michael Genz, Director of the Office of Program Performance; Robert Gross, Senior Program Counsel, State Planning Team; Althea Hayward, State Planning Team (Diversity); Melissa Pershing, State Planning Team (who, with input and assistance from OPP staff, prepared and coordinated the agenda); and assistants Wendy Burnette and Lynn Wilson, who were responsible for conference logistics, registration, and on-site conference assistance. Indiana Legal Services (ILS) Executive Director Norman Metzger and Colleen Cotter, Director of the ILS Indiana Justice Center, were marvelous hosts. The General Counsel to Indiana's Chief Justice attended Mauricio Vivero's presentation on Public Relations and Friday's lunch. The Chief Justice also testified to the Indiana judiciary's keen interest in and support for Indiana Legal Services and the provision of pro bono by the private bar. On Friday evening, conference participants were joined by the ILS Board, judges, and bar leaders (including the new executive director of the Indiana Bar Foundation) for dinner. The President-Elect of the Indiana State Bar spoke eloquently and at length about her support for legal services and pro bono. The Conference Randi Youells, Vice President for Programs, provided opening and closing remarks for the conference; and an LSC update during lunch. Her timely comments set a tone for open and extensive information sharing and collaboration. A copy of the conference agenda is included with this Report as Attachment A. Friday, February 8, 2002 Session I - Three Statewide Models - A Panel Presentation This session provided participants with a snapshot of three statewide programs, and focused on "Planning for Client Centered, Comprehensive, Integrated, State-wide Justice Communities." Executive Directors Nan Heald (Maine), Patrick McIntyre (Washington) and Jon Asher (Colorado) spoke from the perspectives of a longtime statewide program (Maine); a state that was reconfigured several years ago (Washington); and, a newly reconfigured statewide (Colorado). Each provided a perspective on developing a vision, setting goals and determining strategies for achieving access to a full range of civil legal services. Each emphasized three central themes: 1) The imperative that each state must have a vision that encompasses a full range of services; 2) The challenge of orienting existing staff to a new or changing vision, inculcating the vision and mission within the staff, and, uniting staff (old and new) over a common vision, whether in a single office or scattered office setting; and, 3) The challenge of balancing vision with fiscal reality, recognizing that as funds remain static or decline, the need for collaboration increases and, at the same time, the threat of fractionalization increases. Session II - Group Discussion A group discussion, facilitated by Robert Gross and Melissa Pershing, followed. The discussion provided a forum for participants to share thoughts, challenges and best practices in the context of developing and fostering a statewide vision. Participants suggested that statewide program leadership needed to be able to: Talk consistently and constantly about vision and quality; Set high expectations for staff; Delegate appropriate management functions so that the Executive Director can be a visible leader among staff and the greater equal justice community; Work closely with the state court system, and get involved in collaborations; Build on the program strengths that already exist; Seek assistance from experienced consultants; Visualize state planning holistically; Know that there are positive long-term advantages that ensue from the state planning initiative; Perform environmental scans for information vital to the creation of a statewide vision; Appreciate and respect the differences in office and staff culture and use them as a genesis for a unified vision; Think critically about how to unify systems-noting that sometimes uniformity is necessary, and sometimes it is not appropriate; Understand that the pursuit of justice is different from the pursuit of access to justice. Session III - Press & Public Relations Mauricio Vivero, Vice President of Governmental Affairs/Public Relations, presented a session that focused on how programs can develop effective public relations campaigns. Focusing on the findings of the national Russenello research, Mr. Vivero encouraged participants to use the media to publicize meaningful program events. He stressed the importance of getting the right message out, delivered by the most credible and prominent spokesperson(s). Participants formed small discussion groups and brainstormed about events or ideas that could form the basis for a program's media campaign. On Friday afternoon, the conference agenda consisted of thematic discussions or mini-sessions that provided an exposition of the state planning concept, entitled, "Breaking the Concept into Parts -Client-Centered, Comprehensive, Integrated, Statewide." Session IV -Client Centered This discussion was co-facilitated by Colleen Cotter (Indiana Legal Services) and Robert Gross (LSC) and focused on the challenges of creating a service delivery model that is client-centered through client leadership in the state planning process and through client involvement on boards of directors. Session V -Comprehensive Marilyn McNamara (New Hampshire) and Adrienne Worthy (West Virginia) facilitated this discussion. It provided a forum for sharing how programs can build bridges with other equal justice providers and explored the need for creativity in forming partnerships and collaborations that may consist of unusual associations. Session VI -Integrated Anne Milne (Utah) and Roger McCollister (Kansas) facilitated this discussion on innovative ways to integrate and combine fundraising to produce a creative resource development program. VII -Statewide Norman Metzger (Indiana) and Janet Millard (Wyoming) facilitated this session, which included defining the term "statewide" and discussion of various statewide program models. The session also examined the impact of planning and creation of a vision on pro bono involvement, leveraging human resources, and related service delivery issues. Saturday, February 9, 2002 VIII -Technology Rhonda Lipkin (Maryland), Victor Geminiani (Hawaii), Nan Heald (Maine) and Mike Genz (LSC) presented this session. 1) Maryland Legal Assistance Network (MLAN) - Rhonda Lipkin provided a demonstration of www.peoples-law.org and www.Mdjustice.org, which is designed to be a virtual library. 2) Hawaii -Victor Geminiani demonstrated how video conferencing is being used extensively by staff and clients to serve six islands. A hotline is the gateway to a self help center offering court forms, a web page, 120 self-help packets, phone advice, clinics, and outcomes follow-up. 3) Maine -Nan Heald provided a demonstration of www.helpmelaw.org with smart search capability and www.ptla.org, the Pine Tree Legal Assistance site. All client leadership in Maine has email. They found volunteers who will translate documents for free at www.volunteermatch.org. 4) LSC - Michael Genz provided an overview of LSC's technology efforts: 1) The TIG (Technology Initiative Grants) program is developing templates for statewide websites. Indiana is studying document assembly software, and Illinois is studying the combination of audio-video conferencing with document assembly. 2) Shared National TIG grants include the National Technical Assistance Project (NTAP), creation of www.lstech.org, and development of measurement and evaluation tools, www.legalmeetings.org. 3) Mr. Genz announced the deadlines for this year's TIG Requests For Proposals. IX -Diversity Co-facilitated by Teresa Cosby (South Carolina) and Althea Hayward (LSC), this discussion focused on the importance of embracing cultural diversity, leadership succession planning, and the general expansion of program leadership, especially as a part of a state planning initiative. Transformation: An Overarching Achievement Identified It was obvious from the remarks made by a number of recently merged states that some kind of critical phase had been passed. Participants recognized that programs were turning or had turned that critical corner--from being resistant to or resentful of change to an embracing of new visions by staff, board members and other stakeholders. Participants shared experiences about these transformations and acknowledged the benefits of reconfiguration, as programs complete the critical work of reorganization. The Future Participants have already been provided detailed contact information so that they can network and follow-up with others who attended the conference. LSC asked attendees to identify what they feel would be the next appropriate steps. A report of the conference will also be provided to all participants complete with a package containing handouts. This information will also be shared with LSC's OPP staff. A total of 14 completed evaluations were received from participants. All were unanimous in their praise and appreciation for the statewide conference, and expressed a desire for an annual or semi-annual conference of this nature to be held either in person or with the use of videoconferencing. Several suggested that separate break-out sessions could be developed for long-time statewides and recently merged statewides, which would allow more time, attention and specifically tailored agendas and discussions for both. It was also noted that not all programs were "state"wides and that perhaps there would be value in getting the island programs together (Hawaii, Puerto Rico, the Virgin Islands, Micronesia and Guam) since they face similar delivery issues. Ideas from both attendees and staff for additional follow-up included: i. Regional leadership conferences - small intense retreat-like group meetings of Executive Directors plus 1 or 2 identified potential leaders from each of iv. Mentoring/exchange program for newer leaders or leaders who could benefit from exposure to other programs; v. Online leadership clearinghouse with links to non-profit management and leadership sites and materials, M.I.E. etc. vi. Resources, protocols and guidelines for conducting meaningful statewide needs assessment; vii. More regional meetings and meetings of "like" programs, i.e., rural with rural, or small with small - for mutual problem solving; viii. Directory of statewide programs that includes information such as number of employees, number of offices, amount/percentage/type of funding, level of tech usage, types of services, collaborations/partnerships, etc. that would allow us to look for a comparable program to brainstorm a particular issue; ix. A place to share materials, information and best practices documents, orientation packages, training ideas. Many attendees also asked for additional information on the following topics: Technology; technology innovations; technology connecting state government, courts, agencies and programs; technology as a means of outreach; technology use between programs/offices. Resource development/fundraising ideas. Public relations initiatives. Internal/staff communications. Ways to establish and maintain a statewide equal access committee. Final comments (from one participant's evaluation): "The real challenge in legal services today is how to change and expand our mission through new and innovative approaches to the poverty around us. I feel this can be done within the current LSC restrictions but it requires entirely new approaches and combinations of services. I would encourage an agenda that challenges us to change and expand our mission. Change is good." 7.1 TYPES OF DILUTION WATER 7.1.1 The type of dilution water used in effluent toxicity tests will depend largely on the objectives of the study. 7.1.1.1 If the objective of the test is to estimate the absolute chronic toxicity of the effluent, a synthetic (standard) dilution water is used. If the test organisms have been cultured in water which is different from the test dilution water, a second set of controls, using culture water, should be included in the test. 7.1.1.2 If the objective of the test is to estimate the chronic toxicity of the effluent in uncontaminated receiving water, the test may be conducted using dilution water consisting of a single grab sample of receiving water (if non-toxic), collected either upstream and outside the influence of the outfall, or with other uncontaminated natural water (ground or surface water) or standard dilution water having approximately the same characteristics (hardness, alkalinity, and conductivity) as the receiving water. Seasonal variations in the quality of receiving waters may affect effluent toxicity. Therefore, the pH, alkalinity, hardness, and conductivity of receiving water samples should be determined before each use. If the test organisms have been cultured in water which is different from the test dilution water, a second set of controls, using culture water, should be included in the test. 7.1.1.3 If the objective of the test is to determine the additive or mitigating effects of the discharge on already contaminated receiving water, the test is performed using dilution water consisting of receiving water collected immediately upstream or outside the influence of the outfall. A second set of controls, using culture water, should be included in the test. 7.1.2 An acceptable dilution water is one which is appropriate for the objectives of the test; supports adequate performance of the test organisms with respect to survival, growth, reproduction, or other responses that may be measured in the test (i.e., consistently meets test acceptability criteria for control responses); is consistent in quality; and does not contain contaminants that could produce toxicity. Receiving waters, synthetic waters, or synthetic waters adjusted to approximate receiving water characteristics may be used for dilution provided that the water meets the above listed qualifications for an acceptable dilution water. USEPA (2000a) provides additional guidance on selecting appropriate dilution waters. 7.1.3 When dual controls (one control using culture water and one control using dilution water) are used (see Subsections 7.1.1.1 - 7.1.1.3 above), the dilution water control should be used to determine test acceptability. It is also the dilution water control that should be compared to effluent treatments in the calculation and reporting of test results. The culture water control should be used to evaluate the appropriateness of the dilution water source. Significant differences between organism responses in culture water and dilution water controls could indicate toxicity in the dilution water and may suggest an alternative dilution water source. USEPA (2000a) provides additional guidance on dual controls. 7.2 STANDARD, SYNTHETIC DILUTION WATER 7.2.1 Standard, synthetic dilution water is prepared with deionized water and reagent grade chemicals or mineral water (Tables 3 and 4). The source water for the deionizer can be ground water or tap water. 7.2.2 DEIONIZED WATER USED TO PREPARE STANDARD, SYNTHETIC, DILUTION WATER 7.2.2.1 Deionized water is obtained from a MILLIPORE MILLI-Q, MILLIPORE QPAK2 or equivalent system. It is advisable to provide a preconditioned (deionized) feed water by using a Culligan, Continental, or equivalent system in front of the MILLIPORE System to extend the life of the MILLIPORE cartridges (see Section 5, Facilities, Equipment, and Supplies). 7.2.2.2 The recommended order of the cartridges in a four-cartridge deionizer (i.e., MILLI-Q System or equivalent) is (1) ion exchange, (2) ion exchange, (3) carbon, and (4) organic cleanup (such as ORGANEX-Q, or equivalent) followed by a final bacteria filter. The QPAK2 water system is a sealed system which does not allow for the rearranging of the cartridges. However, the final cartridge is an ORGANEX-Q filter, followed by a final bacteria filter. Commercial laboratories using this system have not experienced any difficulty in using the water for culturing or testing. Reference to the MILLI-Q systems throughout the remainder of the manual includes all MILLIPORE or equivalent systems. 7.2.3 STANDARD, SYNTHETIC FRESHWATER 7.2.3.1 To prepare 20 L of synthetic, moderately hard, reconstituted water, use the reagent grade chemicals in Table 3 as follows: 1. Place 19 L of MILLI-Q, or equivalent, water in a properly cleaned plastic carboy. 2. Add 1.20 g of MgSO4, 1.92 g NaHCO3, and 0.080g KCl to the carboy. 3. Aerate overnight. 4. Add 1.20 g of CaSO42H20 to 1 L of MILLI-Q or equivalent deionized water in a separate flask. Stir on magnetic stirrer until calcium sulfate is dissolved, add to the 19 L above, and mix well. 5. For Ceriodaphnia dubia culturing and testing, add sufficient sodium selenate (Na2SeO4) to provide 2 mg selenium per liter of final dilution water. 6. Aerate the combined solution vigorously for an additional 24 h to dissolve the added chemicals and stabilize the medium. 7. The measured pH, hardness, etc., should be as listed in Table 3. TABLE 3. PREPARATION OF SYNTHETIC FRESHWATER USING REAGENT GRADE CHEMICALS1 1 Taken in part from Marking and Dawson (1973). 2 Add reagent grade chemicals to deionized water. 3 Approximate equilibrium pH after 24 h of aeration. 4 Expressed as mg CaCO3/L. 7.2.3.2 If large volumes of synthetic reconstituted water will be needed, it may be advisable to mix 1 L portions of concentrated stock solutions of NaHCO3, MgSO4, and KCl for use in preparation of the reconstituted waters. 7.2.3.3 To prepare 20 L of standard, synthetic, moderately hard, reconstituted water, using mineral water such as PERRIER Water, or equivalent (Table 4), follow the instructions below. 1. Place 16 L of MILLI-Q or equivalent water in a properly cleaned plastic carboy. 2. Add 4 L of PERRIER Water, or equivalent. 3. Aerate vigorously for 24 h to stabilize the medium. 4. The measured pH, hardness and alkalinity of the aerated water will be as indicated in Table 4. 5. This synthetic water is referred to as diluted mineral water (DMW) in the toxicity test methods. TABLE 4. PREPARATION OF SYNTHETIC FRESHWATER USING MINERAL WATER1 Approximate Final Water Quality 1 From Mount et al. (1987), and data provided by Philip Lewis, EMSL-Cincinnati, OH. 2 Add mineral water to Milli-Q water, or equivalent, to prepare Diluted Mineral Water (DMW). 3 Approximate equilibrium pH after 24 h of aeration. 4 Expressed as mg CaCO3/L. 5 Dilutions of PERRIER Water form a precipitate when concentrations equivalent to "very hard water" are aerated. 7.3 USE OF RECEIVING WATER AS DILUTION WATER 7.3.1 If the objectives of the test require the use of uncontaminated receiving water as dilution water, and the receiving water is uncontaminated, it may be possible to collect a sample of the receiving water upstream of, or close to, but outside of the zone influenced by the effluent. However, if the receiving water is contaminated, it may be necessary to collect the sample in an area "remote" from the discharge site, matching as closely as possible the physical and chemical characteristics of the receiving water near the outfall. 7.3.2 The sample should be collected immediately prior to the test, but never more than 96 h before the test begins. Except where it is used within 24 h, or in the case where large volumes are required for flow through tests, the sample should be chilled to 0-6C during or immediately following collection, and maintained at that temperature prior to use in the test. 7.3.3 Receiving water containing debris or indigenous organisms that may be confused with or attack the test organisms should be filtered through a sieve having 60 mm mesh openings prior to use. 7.3.4 Where toxicity-free dilution water is required in a test, the water is considered acceptable if test organisms show the required survival, growth, and reproduction in the controls during the test. 7.3.5 The regulatory authority may require that the hardness of the dilution water be comparable to the receiving water at the discharge site. This requirement can be satisfied by collecting an uncontaminated receiving water with a suitable hardness, or adjusting the hardness of an otherwise suitable receiving water by addition of reagents as indicated in Table 3. 7.4 USE OF TAP WATER AS DILUTION WATER 7.4.1 The use of tap water as dilution water is discouraged unless it is dechlorinated and passed through a deionizer and carbon filter. Tap water can be dechlorinated by deionization, carbon filtration, or the use of sodium thiosulfate. Use of 3.6 mg/L (anhydrous) sodium thiosulfate will reduce 1.0 mg chlorine/L (APHA, 1992). Following dechlorination, total residual chlorine should not exceed 0.01 mg/L. Because of the possible toxicity of thiosulfate to test organisms, a control lacking thiosulfate should be included in toxicity tests utilizing thiosulfatedechlorinated water. 7.4.2 To be adequate for general laboratory use following dechlorination, the tap water is passed through a deionizer and carbon filter to remove toxic metals and organics, and to control hardness and alkalinity. 7.5 DILUTION WATER HOLDING 7.5.1 A given batch of dilution water should not be used for more than 14 days following preparation because of the possible build-up of bacterial, fungal, or algal slime growth and the problems associated with it. The container should be kept covered and the contents should be protected from light. SECTION 8 EFFLUENT AND RECEIVING WATER SAMPLING, SAMPLE HANDLING, AND SAMPLE PREPARATION FOR TOXICITY TESTS 8.1 EFFLUENT SAMPLING 8.1.1 The effluent sampling point should be the same as that specified in the NPDES discharge permit (USEPA, 1988a). Conditions for exception would be: (l) better access to a sampling point between the final treatment and the discharge outfall; (2) if the processed waste is chlorinated prior to discharge, it may also be desirable to take samples prior to contact with the chlorine to determine toxicity of the unchlorinated effluent; or (3) in the event there is a desire to evaluate the toxicity of the influent to municipal waste treatment plants or separate wastewater streams in industrial facilities prior to their being combined with other wastewater streams or non-contact cooling water, additional sampling points may be chosen. 8.1.2 The decision on whether to collect grab or composite samples is based on the objectives of the test and an understanding of the short and long-term operations and schedules of the discharger. If the effluent quality varies considerably with time, which can occur where holding times are short, grab samples may seem preferable because of the ease of collection and the potential of observing peaks (spikes) in toxicity. However, the sampling duration of a grab sample is so short that full characterization of an effluent over a 24-h period would require a prohibitively large number of separate samples and tests. Collection of a 24-h composite sample, however, may dilute toxicity spikes, and average the quality of the effluent over the sampling period. Sampling recommendations are provided below (also see USEPA, 2002a). 8.1.3 Aeration during collection and transfer of effluents should be minimized to reduce the loss of volatile chemicals. 8.1.4 Details of date, time, location, duration, and procedures used for effluent sample and dilution water collection should be recorded. 8.2 EFFLUENT SAMPLE TYPES 8.2.1 The advantages and disadvantages of effluent grab and composite samples are listed below: 8.2.1.1 GRAB SAMPLES Advantages: 1. Easy to collect; require a minimum of equipment and on-site time. 2. Provide a measure of instantaneous toxicity. Toxicity spikes are not masked by dilution. Disadvantages: 1. Samples are collected over a very short period of time and on a relatively infrequent basis. The chances of detecting a spike in toxicity would depend on the frequency of sampling and the probability of missing a spike is high. 8.2.1.2 COMPOSITE SAMPLES Advantages: 1. A single effluent sample is collected over a 24-h period. 2. The sample is collected over a much longer period of time than a single grab sample and contains all toxicity spikes. Disadvantages: 1. Sampling equipment is more sophisticated and expensive, and must be placed on-site for at least 24 h. 2. Toxicity spikes may not be detected because they are masked by dilution with less toxic wastes. 8.3 EFFLUENT SAMPLING RECOMMENDATIONS 8.3.1 When tests are conducted on-site, test solutions can be renewed daily with freshly collected samples, except for the green alga, Selenastrum capricornutum, test which is not renewed. 8.3.2 When tests are conducted off-site, a minimum of three samples are collected. If these samples are collected on Test Days 1, 3, and 5, the first sample would be used for test initiation, and for test solution renewal on Day 2. The second sample would be used for test solution renewal on Days 3 and 4. The third sample would be used for test solution renewal on Days 5, 6, and 7. 8.3.3 Sufficient sample volume must be collected to perform the required toxicity and chemical tests. A 4-L (1gal) CUBITAINER will provide sufficient sample volume for most tests. 8.3.4 THE FOLLOWING EFFLUENT SAMPLING METHODS ARE RECOMMENDED: 8.3.4.1 Continuous Discharges 8.3.4.1.1 If the facility discharge is continuous, a single 24-h composite sample is to be taken. 8.3.4.2 Intermittent discharges 8.3.4.2.1 If the facility discharge is intermittent, a composite sample is to be collected for the duration of the discharge but not more than 24 hours. 8.4 RECEIVING WATER SAMPLING 8.4.1 Logistical problems and difficulty in securing sampling equipment generally preclude the collection of composite receiving water samples for toxicity tests. Therefore, based on the requirements of the test, a single grab sample or daily grab sample of receiving water is collected for use in the test. 8.4.2 The sampling point is determined by the objectives of the test. In rivers, samples should be collected from mid-stream and at mid-depth, if accessible. In lakes the samples are collected at mid-depth. 8.4.3 To determine the extent of the zone of toxicity in the receiving water downstream from the outfall, receiving water samples are collected at several distances downstream from the discharge. The time required for the effluent-receiving-water mixture to travel to sampling points downstream from the outfall, and the rate and degree of mixing, may be difficult to ascertain. Therefore, it may not be possible to correlate downstream toxicity with effluent toxicity at the discharge point unless a dye study is performed. The toxicity of receiving water samples from five stations downstream from the discharge point can be evaluated using the same number of test vessels and test organisms as used in one effluent toxicity test with five effluent dilutions. 8.5 EFFLUENT AND RECEIVING WATER SAMPLE HANDLING, PRESERVATION, AND SHIPPING 8.5.1 Unless the samples are used in an on-site toxicity test the day of collection (or hand delivered to the testing laboratory for use on the day of collection), they should be chilled and maintained at 0-6C until used to inhibit microbial degradation, chemical transformations, and loss of highly volatile toxic substances. 8.5.2 Composite samples should be chilled as they are collected. Grab samples should be chilled immediately following collection. 8.5.3 If the effluent has been chlorinated, total residual chlorine must be measured immediately following sample collection. 8.5.4 Sample holding time begins when the last grab sample in a series is taken (i.e., when a series of four grab samples are taken over a 24-h period), or when a 24-h composite sampling period is completed. If the data from the samples are to be acceptable for use in the NPDES Program, the lapsed time (holding time) from sample collection to first use of each grab or composite sample must not exceed 36 h. EPA believes that 36 h is adequate time to deliver the samples to the laboratories performing the test in most cases. In the isolated cases, where the permittee can document that this delivery time cannot be met, the permitting authority can allow an option for onsite testing or a variance for an extension of shipped sample holding time. The request for a variance in sample holding time, directed to the USEPA Regional Administrator under 40 CFR 136.3(e) should include supportive data which show that the toxicity of the effluent sample is not reduced (e.g., because of volatilization and/or sorption of toxics on the sample container surfaces) by extending the holding time beyond more than 36 h. However, in no case should more than 72 h elapse between collection and first use of the sample. In static-renewal tests, each grab or composite sample may also be used to prepare test solutions for renewal at 24 h, 48 h, and/or 72 h after first use, if stored at 0-6C, with minimum head space, as described in Subsection 8.5. If shipping problems (e.g., unsuccessful Saturday delivery) are encountered with renewal samples after a test has been initiated, the permitting authority may allow the continued use of the most recently used sample for test renewal. Guidance for determining the persistence of the sample is provided in Subsection 8.7. 8.5.5 To minimize the loss of toxicity due to volatilization of toxic constituents, all sample containers should be "completely" filled, leaving no air space between the contents and the lid. 8.5.6 SAMPLES USED IN ON-SITE TESTS 8.5.6.1 Samples collected for on-site tests should be used within 24 h. 8.5.7 SAMPLES SHIPPED TO OFF-SITE FACILITIES 8.5.7.1 Samples collected for off-site toxicity testing are to be chilled to 0-6C during or immediately after collection, and shipped iced to the performing laboratory. Sufficient ice should be placed with the sample in the shipping container to ensure that ice will still be present when the sample arrives at the laboratory and is unpacked. Insulating material should not be placed between the ice and the sample in the shipping container unless required to prevent breakage of glass sample containers. 8.5.7.2 Samples may be shipped in one or more 4-L (l-gal) CUBITAINERS or new plastic "milk" jugs. All sample containers should be rinsed with source water before being filled with sample. After use with receiving water or effluents, CUBITAINERS and plastic jugs are punctured to prevent reuse. 8.5.7.3 Several sample shipping options are available, including Express Mail, air express, bus, and courier service. Express Mail is delivered seven days a week. Saturday and Sunday shipping and receiving schedules of private carriers vary with the carrier. 8.6 SAMPLE RECEIVING 8.6.1 Upon arrival at the laboratory, samples are logged in and the temperature is measured and recorded. If the samples are not immediately prepared for testing, they are stored at 0-6C until used. 8.6.2 Every effort must be made to initiate the test with an effluent sample on the day of arrival in the laboratory, and the sample holding time should not exceed 36 h unless a variance has been granted by the NPDES permitting authority. 8.7 PERSISTENCE OF EFFLUENT TOXICITY DURING SAMPLE SHIPMENT AND HOLDING 8.7.1 The persistence of the toxicity of an effluent prior to its use in a toxicity test is of interest in assessing the validity of toxicity test data, and in determining the possible effects of allowing an extension of the holding time. Where a variance in holding time (> 36 h, but # 72 h) is requested by a permittee, (see Subsection 8.5.4 above), information on the effects of the extension in holding time on the toxicity of samples must be obtained by comparing the results of multi-concentration chronic toxicity tests performed on effluent samples held 36 h with toxicity test results using the same samples after they were held for the requested, longer period. The portion of the sample set aside for the second test should be held under the same conditions as during shipment and holding. 8.8 PREPARATION OF EFFLUENT AND RECEIVING WATER SAMPLES FOR TOXICITY TESTS 8.8.1 When aliquots are removed from the sample container, the head space above the remaining sample should be held to a minimum. Air which enters a container upon removal of sample should be expelled by compressing the container before reclosing, if possible (i.e., where a CUBITAINER is used), or by using an appropriate discharge valve (spigot). 8.8.2 With the daphnid, Ceriodaphnia dubia, and fathead minnow, Pimephales promelas, tests, effluents and receiving waters should be filtered through a 60-m plankton net to remove indigenous organisms that may attack or be confused with the test organisms (see the daphnid, Ceriodaphnia dubia, test method for details). Receiving waters used in green alga, Selenastrum capricornutum, toxicity tests must be filtered through a 0.45-m pore diameter filter before use. It may be necessary to first coarse-filter the dilution and/or waste water through a nylon sieve having 2- to 4-mm mesh openings to remove debris and/or break up large floating or suspended solids. Because filtration may increase the dissolved oxygen (DO) in the effluent, the DO should be checked both before and after filtering. Low dissolved oxygen concentrations will indicate a potential problem in performing the test. Caution: filtration may remove some toxicity. 8.8.3 If the samples must be warmed to bring them to the prescribed test temperature, supersaturation of the dissolved oxygen and nitrogen may become a problem. To avoid this problem, samples may be warmed slowly in open test containers. If DO is still above 100% saturation after warming to test temperature, samples should be aerated moderately (approximately 500 mL/min) for a few minutes using an airstone. If DO is below 4.0 mg/L after warming to test temperature, the solutions must be aerated moderately (approximately 500 mL/min) for a few minutes, using an airstone, until the DO is within the prescribed range ($4.0 mg/L). Caution: avoid excessive aeration. 8.8.4 The DO concentration in the samples should be near saturation prior to use. Aeration may be used to bring the DO and other gases into equilibrium with air, minimize oxygen demand, and stabilize the pH. However, aeration during collection, transfer, and preparation of samples should be minimized to reduce the loss of volatile chemicals. 8.8.4.1 Aeration during the test may alter the results and should be used only as a last resort to maintain the required DO. Aeration can reduce the apparent toxicity of the test solutions by stripping them of highly volatile toxic substances, or increase their toxicity by altering pH. However, the DO in the test solutions should not be allowed to fall below 4.0 mg/L. 8.8.4.2 In static tests (renewal or non-renewal), low DOs may commonly occur in the higher concentrations of wastewater. Aeration is accomplished by bubbling air through a pipet at a rate of 100 bubbles/min. If aeration is necessary, all test solutions must be aerated. It is advisable to monitor the DO closely during the first few hours of the test. Samples with a potential DO problem generally show a downward trend in DO within 4 to 8 h after the test is started. Unless aeration is initiated during the first 8 h of the test, the DO may be exhausted during an unattended period, thereby invalidating the test. 8.8.5 At a minimum, pH, conductivity, and total residual chlorine are measured in the undiluted effluent or receiving water, and pH and conductivity are measured in the dilution water. 8.8.5.1 It is recommended that total alkalinity and total hardness also be measured in the undiluted effluent test water, receiving water, and the dilution water. 8.8.6 Total ammonia is measured in effluent and receiving water samples where toxicity may be contributed by unionized ammonia (i.e., where total ammonia $ 5 mg/L). The concentration (mg/L) of un-ionized (free) ammonia in a sample is a function of temperature and pH, and is calculated using the percentage value obtained from Table 5, under the appropriate pH and temperature, and multiplying it by the concentration (mg/L) of total ammonia in the sample. 8.8.7 Effluents and receiving waters can be dechlorinated using 6.7 mg/L anhydrous sodium thiosulfate to reduce 1 mg/L chlorine (APHA, 1992). Note that the amount of thiosulfate required to dechlorinate effluents is greater than the amount needed to dechlorinate tap water (see Section 7, Dilution Water, Subsection 7.4.1). Since thiosulfate may contribute to sample toxicity, a thiosulfate control should be used in the test in addition to the normal dilution water control. 8.8.8 Mortality or impairment of growth or reproduction due to pH alone may occur if the pH of the sample falls outside the range of 6.0 - 9.0. Thus, the presence of other forms of toxicity (metals and organics) in the sample may be masked by the toxic effects of low or high pH. The question about the presence of other toxicants can be answered only by performing two parallel tests, one with an adjusted pH, and one without an adjusted pH. Freshwater samples are adjusted to pH 7.0 by adding 1N NaOH or 1N HCl dropwise, as required, being careful to avoid overadjustment. 1 Table provided by Teresa Norberg-King, ERL, Duluth, Minnesota. Also see Emerson et al. (1975), Thurston et al. (1974), and USEPA (1985a). 8.9 PRELIMINARY TOXICITY RANGE-FINDING TESTS 8.9.1 USEPA Regional and State personnel generally have observed that it is not necessary to conduct a toxicity range-finding test prior to initiating a static, chronic, definitive toxicity test. However, when preparing to perform a static test with a sample of completely unknown quality, or before initiating a flow-through test, it is advisable to conduct a preliminary toxicity range-finding test. 8.9.2 A toxicity range-finding test ordinarily consists of a down-scaled, abbreviated static acute test in which groups of five organisms are exposed to several widely-spaced sample dilutions in a logarithmic series, such as 100%, 10.0%, 1.00%, and 0.100%, and a control, for 8-24 h. Caution: if the sample must also be used for the fullscale definitive test, the 36-h limit on holding time (see Subsection 8.5.4) must not be exceeded before the definitive test is initiated. 8.9.3 It should be noted that the toxicity (LC50) of a sample observed in a range-finding test may be significantly different from the toxicity observed in the follow-up chronic definitive test because: (1) the definitive test is longer; and (2) the test may be performed with a sample collected at a different time, and possibly differing significantly in the level of toxicity. 8.10 MULTI-CONCENTRATION (DEFINITIVE) EFFLUENT TOXICITY TESTS 8.10.1 The tests recommended for use in determining discharge permit compliance in the NPDES program are multi-concentration, or definitive, tests which provide (1) a point estimate of effluent toxicity in terms of an IC25, IC50, or LC50, or (2) a no-observed-effect-concentration (NOEC) defined in terms of mortality, growth, reproduction, and/or teratogenicity and obtained by hypothesis testing. The tests may be static renewal or static non-renewal. 8.10.2 The tests consist of a control and a minimum of five effluent concentrations. USEPA recommends the use of a $0.5 dilution factor for selecting effluent test concentrations. Effluent test concentrations of 6.25%, 12.5%, 25%, 50%, and 100% are commonly used, however, test concentrations should be selected independently for each test based on the objective of the study, the expected range of toxicity, the receiving water concentration, and any available historical testing information on the effluent. USEPA (2000a) provides additional guidance on choosing appropriate test concentrations. 8.10.3 When these tests are used in determining compliance with permit limits, effluent test concentrations should be selected to bracket the receiving water concentration. This may be achieved by selecting effluent test concentrations in the following manner: (1) 100% effluent, (2) [RWC + 100]/2, (3) RWC, (4) RWC/2, and (5) RWC/4. For example, where the RWC = 50%, appropriate effluent concentrations may be 100%, 75%, 50%, 25%, and 12.5%. 8.10.4 If acute/chronic ratios are to be determined by simultaneous acute and short-term chronic tests with a single species, using the same sample, both types of tests must use the same test conditions, i.e., pH, temperature, water hardness, salinity, etc. 8.11 RECEIVING WATER TESTS 8.11.1 Receiving water toxicity tests generally consist of 100% receiving water and a control. The total hardness of the control should be comparable to the receiving water. 8.11.2 The data from the two treatments are analyzed by hypothesis testing to determine if test organism survival in the receiving water differs significantly from the control. Four replicates and 10 organisms per replicate are required for each treatment (see Summary of Test Conditions and Test Acceptability Criteria in the specific test method). 8.11.3 In cases where the objective of the test is to estimate the degree of toxicity of the receiving water, a multiconcentration test is performed by preparing dilutions of the receiving water, using a $ 0.5 dilution series, with a suitable control water. SECTION 9 CHRONIC TOXICITY TEST ENDPOINTS AND DATA ANALYSIS 9.1 ENDPOINTS 9.1.1 The objective of chronic aquatic toxicity tests with effluents and pure compounds is to estimate the highest "safe" or "no-effect concentration" of these substances. For practical reasons, the responses observed in these tests are usually limited to hatchability, gross morphological abnormalities, survival, growth, and reproduction, and the results of the tests are usually expressed in terms of the highest toxicant concentration that has no statistically significant observed effect on these responses, when compared to the controls. The terms currently used to define the endpoints employed in the rapid, chronic and sub-chronic toxicity tests have been derived from the terms previously used for full life-cycle tests. As shorter chronic tests were developed, it became common practice to apply the same terminology to the endpoints. The terms used in this manual are as follows: 9.1.1.1 Safe Concentration - The highest concentration of toxicant that will permit normal propagation of fish and other aquatic life in receiving waters. The concept of a "safe concentration" is a biological concept, whereas the "no-observed-effect concentration" (below) is a statistically defined concentration. 9.1.1.2 No-Observed-Effect-Concentration (NOEC) - The highest concentration of toxicant to which organisms are exposed in a full life-cycle or partial life-cycle (short-term) test, that causes no observable adverse effects on the test organisms (i.e., the highest concentration of toxicant in which the values for the observed responses are not statistically significantly different from the controls). This value is used, along with other factors, to determine toxicity limits in permits. 9.1.1.3 Lowest-Observed-Effect-Concentration (LOEC) - The lowest concentration of toxicant to which organisms are exposed in a life-cycle or partial life-cycle (short-term) test, which causes adverse effects on the test organisms (i.e., where the values for the observed responses are statistically significantly different from the controls). 9.1.1.4 Effective Concentration (EC) - A point estimate of the toxicant concentration that would cause an observable adverse affect on a quantal, "all or nothing," response (such as death, immobilization, or serious incapacitation) in a given percent of the organisms, calculated by point estimation techniques. If the observable effect is death or immobility, the term, Lethal Concentration (LC), should be used (see Subsection 9.1.1.5). A certain EC or LC value might be judged from a biological standpoint to represent a threshold concentration, or lowest concentration that would cause an adverse effect on the observed response. 9.1.1.5 Lethal Concentration (LC) - The toxicant concentration that would cause death in a given percent of the test population. Identical to EC when the observed adverse effect is death. For example, the LC50 is the concentration of toxicant that would cause death in 50% of the test population. 9.1.1.6 Inhibition Concentration (IC) - The toxicant concentration that would cause a given percent reduction in a non-quantal biological measurement for the test population. For example, the IC25 is the concentration of toxicant that would cause a 25% reduction in mean young per female or in growth for the test population, and the IC50 is the concentration of toxicant that would cause a 50% reduction. 9.2 RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN ENDPOINTS DETERMINED BY HYPOTHESIS TESTING AND POINT ESTIMATION TECHNIQUES 9.2.1 If the objective of chronic aquatic toxicity tests with effluents and pure compounds is to estimate the highest "safe or no-effect concentration" of these substances, it is imperative to understand how the statistical endpoints of these tests are related to the "safe" or "no-effect" concentration. NOECs and LOECs are determined by hypothesis testing (Dunnett's Test, a t test with the Bonferroni adjustment, Steel's Many-one Rank Test, or the Wilcoxon Rank Sum Test with the Bonferroni adjustment), whereas LCs, ICs, and ECs are determined by point estimation techniques (Probit Analysis, Spearman-Karber Method, Trimmed Spearman-Karber Method, Graphical Method or Linear Interpolation Method). There are inherent differences between the use of a NOEC or LOEC derived from hypothesis testing to estimate a "safe" concentration, and the use of a LC, EC, IC, or other point estimates derived from curve fitting, interpolation, etc. 9.2.2 Most point estimates, such as the LC, IC, or EC, are derived from a mathematical model that assumes a continuous dose-response relationship. By definition, any LC, IC, or EC value is an estimate of some amount of adverse effect. Thus the assessment of a "safe" concentration must be made from a biological standpoint rather than with a statistical test. In this instance, the biologist must determine some amount of adverse effect that is deemed to be "safe", in the sense that from a practical biological viewpoint it will not affect the normal propagation of fish and other aquatic life in receiving waters. 9.2.3 The use of NOECs and LOECs, on the other hand, assumes either (1) a continuous dose-response relationship, or (2) a non-continuous (threshold) model of the dose-response relationship. 9.2.3.1 In the case of a continuous dose-response relationship, it is also assumed that adverse effects that are not "statistically observable" are also not important from a biological standpoint, since they are not pronounced enough to test as statistically significant against some measure of the natural variability of the responses. 9.2.3.2 In the case of non-continuous dose-response relationships, it is assumed that there exists a true threshold, or concentration below which there is no adverse effect on aquatic life, and above which there is an adverse effect. The purpose of the statistical analysis in this case is to estimate as closely as possible where that threshold lies. 9.2.3.3 In either case, it is important to realize that the amount of adverse effect that is statistically observable (LOEC) or not observable (NOEC) is highly dependent on all aspects of the experimental design, such as the number of concentrations of toxicant, number of replicates per concentration, number of organisms per replicate, and use of randomization. Other factors that affect the sensitivity of the test include the choice of statistical analysis, the choice of an alpha level, and the amount of variability between responses at a given concentration. 9.2.3.4 Where the assumption of a continuous dose-response relationship is made, by definition some amount of adverse effect might be present at the NOEC, but is not great enough to be detected by hypothesis testing. 9.2.3.5 Where the assumption of a non-continuous dose-response relationship is made, the NOEC would indeed be an estimate of a "safe" or "no-effect" concentration if the amount of adverse effect that appears at the threshold is great enough to test as statistically significantly different from the controls in the face of all aspects of the experimental design mentioned above. If, however, the amount of adverse effect at the threshold were not great enough to test as statistically different, some amount of adverse effect might be present at the NOEC. In any case, the estimate of the NOEC with hypothesis testing is always dependent on the aspects of the experimental design mentioned above. For this reason, the reporting and examination of some measure of the sensitivity of the test (either the minimum significant difference or the percent change from the control that this minimum difference represents) is extremely important. 9.2.4 In summary, the assessment of a "safe" or "no-effect" concentration cannot be made from the results of statistical analysis alone, unless (1) the assumptions of a strict threshold model are accepted, and (2) it is assumed that the amount of adverse effect present at the threshold is statistically detectable by hypothesis testing. In this case, estimates obtained from a statistical analysis are indeed estimates of a "no-effect" concentration. If the assumptions are not deemed tenable, then estimates from a statistical analysis can only be used in conjunction with an assessment from a biological standpoint of what magnitude of adverse effect constitutes a "safe" concentration. In this instance, a "safe" concentration is not necessarily a truly "no-effect" concentration, but rather a concentration at which the effects are judged to be of no biological significance. 9.2.5 A better understanding of the relationship between endpoints derived by hypothesis testing (NOECs) and point estimation techniques (LCs, ICs, and ECs) would be very helpful in choosing methods of data analysis. Norberg-King (1991) reported that the IC25s were comparable to the NOECs for 23 effluent and reference toxicant data sets analyzed. The data sets included short-term chronic toxicity tests for the fathead minnow, Pimephales promelas, and the daphnid, Ceriodaphnia dubia. Birge et al. (1985) reported that LC1s derived from Probit Analysis of data from short-term embryo-larval tests with reference toxicants were comparable to NOECs for several organisms. Similarly, USEPA (1988d) reported that the IC25s were comparable to the NOECs for a set of daphnid, Ceriodaphnia dubia, chronic tests with a single reference toxicant. However, the scope of these comparisons was very limited, and sufficient information is not yet available to establish an overall relationship between these two types of endpoints, especially when derived from effluent toxicity test data. 9.3 PRECISION 9.3.1 HYPOTHESIS TESTS 9.3.1.1 When hypothesis tests are used to analyze toxicity test data, it is not possible to express precision in terms of a commonly used statistic. The results of the test are given in terms of two endpoints, the No-Observed- Effect Concentration (NOEC) and the Lowest-Observed-Effect Concentration (LOEC). The NOEC and LOEC are limited to the concentrations selected for the test. The width of the NOEC-LOEC interval is a function of the dilution series, and differs greatly depending on whether a dilution factor of 0.3 or 0.5 is used in the test design. Therefore, USEPA recommends the use of the $ 0.5 dilution factor (see Section 4, Quality Assurance). It is not possible to place confidence limits on the NOEC and LOEC derived from a given test, and it is difficult to quantify the precision of the NOEC-LOEC endpoints between tests. If the data from a series of tests performed with the same toxicant, toxicant concentrations, and test species, were analyzed with hypothesis tests, precision could only be assessed by a qualitative comparison of the NOEC-LOEC intervals, with the understanding that maximum precision would be attained if all tests yielded the same NOEC-LOEC interval. In practice, the precision of results of repetitive chronic tests is considered acceptable if the NOECs vary by no more than one concentration interval above or below a central tendency. Using these guidelines, the "normal" range of NOECs from toxicity tests using a 0.5 dilution factor (two-fold difference between adjacent concentrations), would be four-fold. 9.3.2 POINT ESTIMATION TECHNIQUES 9.3.2.1 Point estimation techniques have the advantage of providing a point estimate of the toxicant concentration causing a given amount of adverse (inhibiting) effect, the precision of which can be quantitatively assessed (1) within tests by calculation of 95% confidence limits, and (2) across tests by calculating a standard deviation and coefficient of variation. 9.3.2.2 It should be noted that software used to calculate point estimates occasionally may not provide associated 95% confidence intervals. This situation may arise when test data do not meet specific assumptions required by the statistical methods, when point estimates are outside of the test concentration range, and when specific limitations imposed by the software are encountered. USEPA (2000a) provides guidance on confidence intervals under these circumstances. 9.4 DATA ANALYSIS 9.4.1 ROLE OF THE STATISTICIAN 9.4.1.1 The use of the statistical methods described in this manual for routine data analysis does not require the assistance of a statistician. However, the interpretation of the results of the analysis of the data from any of the toxicity tests described in this manual can become problematic because of the inherent variability and sometimes unavoidable anomalies in biological data. If the data appear unusual in any way, or fail to meet the necessary assumptions, a statistician should be consulted. Analysts who are not proficient in statistics are strongly advised to seek the assistance of a statistician before selecting the method of analysis and using any of the results. 9.4.1.2 The statistical methods recommended in this manual are not the only possible methods of statistical analysis. Many other methods have been proposed and considered. Certainly there are other reasonable and defensible methods of statistical analysis for this kind of toxicity data. Among alternative hypothesis tests some, like Williams' Test, require additional assumptions, while others, like the bootstrap methods, require computerintensive computations. Alternative point estimation approaches most probably would require the services of a statistician to determine the appropriateness of the model (goodness of fit), higher order linear or nonlinear models, confidence intervals for estimates generated by inverse regression, etc. In addition, point estimation or regression approaches would require the specification by biologists or toxicologists of some low level of adverse effect that would be deemed acceptable or safe. The statistical methods contained in this manual have been chosen because they are (1) applicable to most of the different toxicity test data sets for which they are recommended, (2) powerful statistical tests, (3) hopefully "easily" understood by nonstatisticians, and (4) amenable to use without a computer, if necessary. 9.4.2 PLOTTING THE DATA 9.4.2.1 The data should be plotted, both as a preliminary step to help detect problems and unsuspected trends or patterns in the responses, and as an aid in interpretation of the results. Further discussion and plotted sets of data are included in the methods and the Appendices. 9.4.3 DATA TRANSFORMATIONS 9.4.3.1 Transformations of the data, (e.g., arc sine square root and logs), are used where necessary to meet assumptions of the proposed analyses, such as the requirement for normally distributed data. 9.4.4 INDEPENDENCE, RANDOMIZATION, AND OUTLIERS 9.4.4.1 Statistical independence among observations is a critical assumption in all statistical analysis of toxicity data. One of the best ways to insure independence is to properly follow rigorous randomization procedures. Randomization techniques should be employed at the start of the test, including the randomization of the placement of test organisms in the test chambers and randomization of the test chamber location within the array of chambers. Discussions of statistical independence, outliers and randomization, and a sample randomization scheme, are included in Appendix A. 9.4.5 REPLICATION AND SENSITIVITY 9.4.5.1 The number of replicates employed for each toxicant concentration is an important factor in determining the sensitivity of chronic toxicity tests. Test sensitivity generally increases as the number of replicates is increased, but the point of diminishing returns in sensitivity may be reached rather quickly. The level of sensitivity required by a hypothesis test or the confidence interval for a point estimate will determine the number of replicates, and should be based on the objectives for obtaining the toxicity data. 9.4.5.2 In a statistical analysis of toxicity data, the choice of a particular analysis and the ability to detect departures from the assumptions of the analysis, such as the normal distribution of the data and homogeneity of variance, is also dependent on the number of replicates. More than the minimum number of replicates may be required in situations where it is imperative to obtain optimal statistical results, such as with tests used in enforcement cases or when it is not possible to repeat the tests. For example, when the data are analyzed by hypothesis testing, the nonparametric alternatives cannot be used unless there are at least four replicates at each toxicant concentration. 9.4.6 RECOMMENDED ALPHA LEVELS 9.4.6.1 The data analysis examples included in the manual specify an alpha level of 0.01 for testing the assumptions of hypothesis tests and an alpha level of 0.05 for the hypothesis tests themselves. These levels are common and well accepted levels for this type of analysis and are presented as a recommended minimum significance level for toxicity test data analysis. 9.5 CHOICE OF ANALYSIS 9.5.1 The recommended statistical analysis of most data from chronic toxicity tests with aquatic organisms follows a decision process illustrated in the flowchart in Figure 2. An initial decision is made to use point estimation techniques (the Probit Analysis, the Spearman-Karber Method, the Trimmed Spearman-Karber Method, the Graphical Method, or Linear Interpolation Method) and/or to use hypothesis testing (Dunnett's Test, the t test with the Bonferroni adjustment, Steel's Many-one Rank Test, or the Wilcoxon Rank Sum Test with the Bonferroni adjustment). NOTE: For the NPDES Permit Program, the point estimation techniques are the preferred statistical methods in calculating end points for effluent toxicity tests. If hypothesis testing is chosen, subsequent decisions are made on the appropriate procedure for a given set of data, depending on the results of the tests of assumptions, as illustrated in the flowchart. A specific flow chart is included in the analysis section for each test. 9.5.2 Since a single chronic toxicity test might yield information on more than one parameter (such as survival, growth, and reproduction), the lowest estimate of a "no-observed-effect concentration" for any of the responses would be used as the "no-observed-effect concentration" for each test. It follows logically that in the statistical analysis of the data, concentrations that had a significant toxic effect on one of the observed responses would not be subsequently tested for an effect on some other response. This is one reason for excluding concentrations that have shown a statistically significant reduction in survival from a subsequent hypothesis test for effects on another parameter such as reproduction. A second reason is that the exclusion of such concentrations usually results in a more powerful and appropriate statistical analysis. In performing the point estimation techniques recommended in this manual, an all-data approach is used. For example, data from concentrations above the NOEC for survival are included in determining ICp estimates using the Linear Interpolation Method. 9.5.3 ANALYSIS OF GROWTH AND REPRODUCTION DATA 9.5.3.1 Growth data from the fathead minnow, Pimephales promelas, larval survival and growth test are analyzed using hypothesis testing or point estimation techniques according to the flowchart in Figure 2. The above mentioned growth data may also be analyzed by generating a point estimate with the Linear Interpolation Method. Data from effluent concentrations that have tested significantly different from the control for survival are excluded from further hypothesis tests concerning growth effects. Growth is defined as the dry weight per original number of test organisms when group weights are obtained. When analyzing the data using point estimation techniques, data from all concentrations are included in the analysis. 9.5.3.2 Reproduction data from the daphnid, Ceriodaphnia dubia, survival and reproduction test are analyzed using hypothesis testing or point estimation techniques according to the flowchart in Figure 2. In hypothesis testing, data from effluent concentrations that have significantly lower survival than the control, as determined by Fisher's Exact test, are not included in the hypothesis tests for reproductive effects. Data from all concentrations are included when using point estimation techniques. 9.5.4 ANALYSIS OF ALGAL GROWTH RESPONSE DATA 9.5.4.1 The growth response data from the green alga, Selenastrum capricornutum, toxicity test, after an appropriate transformation, if necessary, to meet the assumptions of normality and homogeneity of variance, may be analyzed by hypothesis testing according to the flowchart in Figure 2. Point estimates, such as the IC25 and IC50, would also be appropriate in analyzing algal growth data. 9.5.5 ANALYSIS OF MORTALITY DATA 9.5.5.1 Mortality data are analyzed by Probit Analysis, if appropriate, or other point estimation techniques (i.e., the Spearman-Karber Method, the Trimmed Spearman-Karber Method, or the Graphical Method) (see Appendices I-L and the discussion below). The mortality data can also be analyzed by hypothesis testing, after an arc sine square root transformation (see Appendix B-F), according to the flowchart in Figure 2. 9.5.5.2 Mortality data from the daphnid, Ceriodaphnia dubia, survival and reproduction test are analyzed by Fisher's Exact Test (Appendix G) prior to the analysis of the reproduction data. The mortality data may also be analyzed by Probit Analysis, if appropriate or other methods (see Subsection 9.5.5.1). 9.6 HYPOTHESIS TESTS 9.6.1 DUNNETT'S PROCEDURE 9.6.1.1 Dunnett's Procedure is used to determine the NOEC. The procedure consists of an analysis of variance (ANOVA) to determine the error term, which is then used in a multiple comparison procedure for comparing each of the treatment means with the control mean, in a series of paired tests (see Appendix C). Use of Dunnett's Procedure requires at least three replicates per treatment to check the assumptions of the test. In cases where the numbers of data points (replicates) for each concentration are not equal, a t test may be performed with Bonferroni's adjustment for multiple comparisons (see Appendix D), instead of using Dunnett's Procedure. 9.6.1.2 The assumptions upon which the use of Dunnett's Procedure is contingent are that the observations within treatments are normally distributed, with homogeneity of variance. Before analyzing the data, these assumptions must be tested using the procedures provided in Appendix B. 9.6.1.3 If, after suitable transformations have been carried out, the normality assumptions have not been met, Steel's Many-one Rank Test should be used if there are four or more data points (replicates) per toxicant concentration. If the numbers of data points for each toxicant concentration are not equal, the Wilcoxon Rank Sum Test with Bonferroni's adjustment should be used (see Appendix F). 9.6.1.4 Some indication of the sensitivity of the analysis should be provided by calculating (1) the minimum difference between means that can be detected as statistically significant, and (2) the percent change from the control mean that this minimum difference represents for a given test. 9.6.1.5 A step-by-step example of the use of Dunnett's Procedure is provided in Appendix C. 9.6.2 T TEST WITH THE BONFERRONI ADJUSTMENT 9.6.2.1 A t test with Bonferroni's adjustment is used as an alternative to Dunnett's Procedure when the number of replicates is not the same for all concentrations. This test sets an upper bound of alpha on the overall error rate, in contrast to Dunnett's Procedure, for which the overall error rate is fixed at alpha. Thus Dunnett's Procedure is a more powerful test. 9.6.2.2 The assumptions upon which the use of the t test with Bonferroni's adjustment is contingent are that the observations within treatments are normally distributed, with homogeneity of variance. These assumptions must be tested using the procedures provided in Appendix B. 9.6.2.3 The estimate of the safe concentration derived from this test is reported in terms of the NOEC. A step-by-step example of the use of the t test with Bonferroni's adjustment is provided in Appendix D. 9.6.3 STEEL'S MANY-ONE RANK TEST 9.6.3.1 Steel's Many-one Rank Test is a multiple comparison procedure for comparing several treatments with a control. This method is similar to Dunnett's Procedure, except that it is not necessary to meet the assumption of normality. The data are ranked, and the analysis is performed on the ranks rather than on the data themselves. If the data are normally or nearly normally distributed, Dunnett's Procedure would be more sensitive (would detect smaller differences between the treatments and control). For data that are not normally distributed, Steel's Many-one Rank Test can be much more efficient (Hodges and Lehmann, 1956). 9.6.3.2 It is necessary to have at least four replicates per toxicant concentration to use Steel's test. Unlike Dunnett's procedure, the sensitivity of this test cannot be stated in terms of the minimum difference between treatment means and the control mean that can be detected as statistically significant. 9.6.3.3 The estimate of the safe concentration is reported as the NOEC. A step-by-step example of the use of Steel's Many-one Rank Test is provided in Appendix E. 9.6.4 WILCOXON RANK SUM TEST WITH THE BONFERRONI ADJUSTMENT 9.6.4.1 The Wilcoxon Rank Sum Test with the Bonferroni Adjustment is a nonparametric test for comparing treatments with a control. The data are ranked and the analysis proceeds exactly as in Steel's Test except that Bonferroni's adjustment for multiple comparisons is used instead of Steel's tables. When Steel's test can be used (i.e., when there are equal numbers of data points per toxicant concentration), it will be more powerful (able to detect smaller differences as statistically significant) than the Wilcoxon Rank Sum Test with Bonferroni's adjustment. 9.6.4.2 The estimate of the safe concentration is reported as the NOEC. A step-by-step example of the use of the Wilcoxon Rank Sum Test with Bonferroni Adjustment is provided in Appendix F. 9.6.5 A CAUTION IN THE USE OF HYPOTHESIS TESTING 9.6.5.1 If in the calculation of an NOEC by hypothesis testing, two tested concentrations cause statistically significant adverse effects, but an intermediate concentration did not cause statistically significant effects, the results should be used with extreme caution. 9.7 POINT ESTIMATION TECHNIQUES 9.7.1 PROBIT ANALYSIS 9.7.1.1 Probit Analysis is used to estimate the LC1, LC50, EC1, or EC50 and the associated 95% confidence interval. The analysis consists of adjusting the data for mortality in the control, and then using a maximum likelihood technique to estimate the parameters of the underlying log tolerance distribution, which is assumed to have a particular shape. 9.7.1.2 The assumption upon which the use of Probit Analysis is contingent is a normal distribution of log tolerances. If the normality assumption is not met, and at least two partial mortalities are not obtained, Probit Analysis should not be used. It is important to check the results of Probit Analysis to determine if use of the analysis is appropriate. The chi-square test for heterogeneity provides one good test of appropriateness of the analysis. The computer program (see Appendix I) checks the chi-square statistic calculated for the data set against the tabular value, and provides an error message if the calculated value exceeds the tabular value. 9.7.1.3 A discussion of Probit Analysis, and examples of computer program input and output, are found in Appendix I. 9.7.1.4 In cases where Probit Analysis is not appropriate, the LC50 and associated confidence interval may be estimated by the Spearman-Karber Method (Appendix J) or the Trimmed Spearman-Karber Method (Appendix K). If the test results in 100% survival and 100% mortality in adjacent treatments (all or nothing effect), the LC50 may be estimated using the Graphical Method (Appendix L). 9.7.2 LINEAR INTERPOLATION METHOD 9.7.2.1 The Linear Interpolation Method (see Appendix M) is a procedure to calculate a point estimate of the effluent or other toxicant concentration [Inhibition Concentration, (IC)] that causes a given percent reduction (e.g., 25%, 50%, etc.) in the reproduction or growth of the test organisms. The procedure was designed for general applicability in the analysis of data from short-term chronic toxicity tests. 9.7.2.2 Use of the Linear Interpolation Method is based on the assumptions that the responses (1) are monotonically non-increasing (the mean response for each higher concentration is less than or equal to the mean response for the previous concentration), (2) follow a piecewise linear response function, and (3) are from a random, independent, and representative sample of test data. The assumption for piecewise linear response cannot be tested statistically, and no defined statistical procedure is provided to test the assumption for monotonicity. Where the observed means are not strictly monotonic by examination, they are adjusted by smoothing. In cases where the responses at the low toxicant concentrations are much higher than in the controls, the smoothing process may result in a large upward adjustment in the control mean. 9.7.2.3 The inability to test the monotonicity and piecewise linear response assumptions for this method makes it difficult to assess when the method is, or is not, producing reliable results. Therefore, the method should be used with caution when the results of a toxicity test approach an "all or nothing" response from one concentration to the next in the concentration series, and when it appears that there is a large deviation from monotonicity. See Appendix M for a more detailed discussion of the use of this method and a computer program available for performing calculations. SECTION 10 REPORT PREPARATION AND TEST REVIEW 10.1 REPORT PREPARATION The following general format and content are recommended for the report: 10.1.1 INTRODUCTION 1. Permit number 2. Toxicity testing requirements of permit 3. Plant location 4. Name of receiving water body 5. Contract Laboratory (if the tests are performed under contract) a Name of firm b. Phone number c. Address 6. Objective of test 10.1.2 PLANT OPERATIONS 1. Product(s) 2. Raw materials 3. Operating schedule 4. Description of waste treatment 5. Schematic of waste treatment 6. Retention time (if applicable) 7. Volume of waste flow (MGD, CFS, GPM) 8. Design flow of treatment facility at time of sampling 10.1.3 SOURCE OF EFFLUENT, RECEIVING WATER, AND DILUTION WATER 1. Effluent Samples a. Sampling point (including latitude and longitude) b. Collection dates and times c. Sample collection method d. Physical and chemical data e. Mean daily discharge on sample collection date f. Lapsed time from sample collection to delivery g. Sample temperature when received at the laboratory 2. Receiving Water Samples a. Sampling point (including latitude and longitude) b. Collection dates and times c. Sample collection method d. Physical and chemical data e. Streamflow (at time of sampling) f. Sample temperature when received at the laboratory g Lapsed time from sample collection to delivery 3. Dilution Water Samples a. Source b. Collection date(s) and time(s) c. Pretreatment d. Physical and chemical characteristics 10.1.4 TEST METHODS 1. Toxicity test method used (title, number, source) 2. Endpoint(s) of test 3. Deviation(s) from reference method, if any, and the reason(s) 4. Date and time test started 5. Date and time test terminated 6. Type and volume of test chambers 7. Volume of solution used per chamber 8. Number of organisms per test chamber 9. Number of replicate test chambers per treatment 10. Acclimation of test organisms (temperature mean and range) 11. Test temperature (mean and range) 12. Specify if aeration was needed 13. Feeding frequency, and amount and type of food 14. Specify if (and how) pH control measures were implemented 10.1.5 TEST ORGANISMS 1. Scientific name and how determined 2. Age 3. Life stage 4. Mean length and weight (where applicable) 5. Source 6. Diseases and treatment (where applicable) 7. Taxonomic key used for species identification 10.1.6 QUALITY ASSURANCE 1. Reference toxicant used routinely; source 2. Date and time of most recent reference toxicant test, test results, and current control chart 3. Dilution water used in reference toxicant test 4. Results (NOEC or, where applicable, LOEC, LC50, EC50, IC25 and/or IC50); report percent minimum significant difference (PMSD) calculated for sublethal endpoints determined by hypothesis testing in reference toxicant test 5. Physical and chemical methods used 10.1.7 RESULTS 1. Provide raw toxicity data in tabular form, including daily records of affected organisms in each concentration (including controls) and replicate, and in graphical form (plots of toxicity data) 2. Provide table of LC50s, NOECs, IC25, IC50, etc. (as required in the applicable NPDES permit) 3. Indicate statistical methods used to calculate endpoints 4. Provide summary table of physical and chemical data 5. Tabulate QA data 6. Provide percent minimum significant difference (PMSD) calculated for sublethal endpoints 10.1.8 CONCLUSIONS AND RECOMMENDATIONS 1. Relationship between test endpoints and permit limits 2. Actions to be taken 10.2 TEST REVIEW 10.2.1 Test review is an important part of an overall quality assurance program (Section 4) and is necessary for ensuring that all test results are reported accurately. Test review should be conducted on each test by both the testing laboratory and the regulatory authority. 10.2.2 SAMPLING AND HANDLING 10.2.2.1 The collection and handling of samples are reviewed to verify that the sampling and handling procedures given in Section 8 were followed. Chain-of-custody forms are reviewed to verify that samples were tested within allowable sample holding times (Subsection 8.5.4). Any deviations from the procedures given in Section 8 should be documented and described in the data report (Subsection 10.1). 10.2.3 TEST ACCEPTABILITY CRITERIA 10.2.3.1 Test data are reviewed to verify that test acceptability criteria (TAC) requirements for a valid test have been met. Any test not meeting the minimum test acceptability criteria is considered invalid. All invalid tests must be repeated with a newly collected sample. 10.2.4 TEST CONDITIONS 10.2.4.1 Test conditions are reviewed and compared to the specifications listed in the summary of test condition tables provided for each method. Physical and chemical measurements taken during the test (e.g., temperature, pH, and DO) also are reviewed and compared to specified ranges. Any deviations from specifications should be documented and described in the data report (Subsection 10.1). 10.2.4.2 The summary of test condition tables presented for each method identify test conditions as required or recommended. For WET test data submitted under NPDES permits, all required test conditions must be met or the test is considered invalid and must be repeated with a newly collected sample. Deviations from recommended test conditions must be evaluated on a case-by-case basis to determine the validity of test results. Deviations from recommended test conditions may or may not invalidate a test result depending on the degree of the departure and the objective of the test. The reviewer should consider the degree of the deviation and the potential or observed impact of the deviation on the test result before rejecting or accepting a test result as valid. For example, if dissolved oxygen is measured below 4.0 mg/L in one test chamber, the reviewer should consider whether any observed mortality in that test chamber corresponded with the drop in dissolved oxygen. 10.2.4.3 Whereas slight deviations in test conditions may not invalidate an individual test result, test condition deviations that continue to occur frequently in a given laboratory may indicate the need for improved quality control in that laboratory. 10.2.5 STATISTICAL METHODS 10.2.5.1 The statistical methods used for analyzing test data are reviewed to verify that the recommended flowcharts for statistical analysis were followed. Any deviation from the recommended flowcharts for selection of statistical methods should be noted in the data report. Statistical methods other than those recommended in the statistical flowcharts may be appropriate (see Subsection 9.4.1.2), however, the laboratory must document the use of and provide the rationale for the use of any alternate statistical method. In all cases (flowchart recommended methods or alternate methods), reviewers should verify that the necessary assumptions are met for the statistical method used. 10.2.6 CONCENTRATION-RESPONSE RELATIONSHIPS 10.2.6.1 The concept of a concentration-response, or more classically, a dose-response relationship is "the most fundamental and pervasive one in toxicology" (Casarett and Doull, 1975). This concept assumes that there is a causal relationship between the dose of a toxicant (or concentration for toxicants in solution) and a measured response. A response may be any measurable biochemical or biological parameter that is correlated with exposure to the toxicant. The classical concentration-response relationship is depicted as a sigmoidal shaped curve, however, the particular shape of the concentration-response curve may differ for each coupled toxicant and response pair. In general, more severe responses (such as acute effects) occur at higher concentrations of the toxicant, and less severe responses (such as chronic effects) occur at lower concentrations. A single toxicant also may produce multiple responses, each characterized by a concentration-response relationship. A corollary of the concentration-response concept is that every toxicant should exhibit a concentration-response relationship, given that the appropriate response is measured and given that the concentration range evaluated is appropriate. Use of this concept can be helpful in determining whether an effluent possesses toxicity and in identifying anomalous test results. 10.2.6.2 The concentration-response relationship generated for each multi-concentration test must be reviewed to ensure that calculated test results are interpreted appropriately. USEPA (2000a) provides guidance on evaluating concentration-response relationships to assist in determining the validity of WET test results. All WET test results (from multi-concentration tests) reported under the NPDES program should be reviewed and reported according to USEPA guidance on the evaluation of concentration-response relationships (USEPA, 2000a). This guidance provides review steps for 10 different concentration-response patterns that may be encountered in WET test data. Based on the review, the guidance provides one of three determinations: that calculated effect concentrations are reliable and should be reported, that calculated effect concentrations are anomalous and should be explained, or that the test was inconclusive and the test should be repeated with a newly collected sample. It should be noted that the determination of a valid concentration-response relationship is not always clear cut. Data from some tests may suggest consultation with professional toxicologists and/or regulatory officials. Tests that exhibit unexpected concentration-response relationships also may indicate a need for further investigation and possible retesting. 10.2.7 REFERENCE TOXICANT TESTING 10.2.7.1 Test review of a given effluent or receiving water test should include review of the associated reference toxicant test and current control chart. Reference toxicant testing and control charting is required for documenting the quality of test organisms (Subsection 4.7) and ongoing laboratory performance (Subsection 4.16). The reviewer should verify that a quality control reference toxicant test was conducted according to the specified frequency required by the permitting authority or recommended by the method (e.g., monthly). The test acceptability criteria, test conditions, concentration-response relationship, and test sensitivity of the reference toxicant test are reviewed to verify that the reference toxicant test conducted was a valid test. The results of the reference toxicant test are then plotted on a control chart (see Subsection 4.16) and compared to the current control chart limits ( 2 standard deviations). 10.2.7.2 Reference toxicant tests that fall outside of recommended control chart limits are evaluated to determine the validity of associated effluent and receiving water tests (see Subsection 4.16). An out of control reference toxicant test result does not necessarily invalidate associated test results. The reviewer should consider the degree to which the reference toxicant test result fell outside of control chart limits, the width of the limits, the direction of the deviation (toward increasing test organism sensitivity or toward decreasing test organism sensitivity), the test conditions of both the effluent test and the reference toxicant test, and the objective of the test. More frequent and/or concurrent reference toxicant testing may be advantageous if recent problems (e.g., invalid tests, reference toxicant test results outside of control chart limits, reduced health of organism cultures, or increased within-test variability) have been identified in testing. 10.2.8 TEST VARIABILITY 10.2.8.1 The within-test variability of individual tests should be reviewed. Excessive within-test variability may invalidate a test result and warrant retesting. For evaluating within-test variability, reviewers should consult EPA guidance on upper and lower percent minimum significant difference (PMSD) bounds (USEPA, 2000b). 10.2.8.2 When NPDES permits require sublethal hypothesis testing endpoints from Methods 1000.0,1002.0, or 1003.0 (e.g., growth or reproduction NOECs and LOECs), within-test variability must be reviewed and variability criteria must be applied as described in this section (10.2.8.2). When the methods are used for non-regulatory purposes, the variability criteria herein are recommended but are not required, and their use (or the use of alternative variability criteria) may depend upon the intended uses of the test results and the requirements of any applicable data quality objectives and quality assurance plan. 10.2.8.2.1 To measure test variability, calculate the percent minimum significant difference (PMSD) achieved in the test. The PMSD is the smallest percentage decrease in growth or reproduction from the control that could be determined as statistically significant in the test. The PMSD is calculated as 100 times the minimum significant difference (MSD) divided by the control mean. The equation and examples of MSD calculations are shown in Appendix C. PMSD may be calculated legitimately as a descriptive statistic for within-test variability, even when the hypothesis test is conducted using a non-parametric method. The PMSD bounds were based on a representative set of tests, including tests for which a non-parametric method was required for determining the NOEC or LOEC. The conduct of hypothesis testing to determine test results should follow the statistical flow charts provided for each method. That is, when test data fail to meet assumptions of normality or heterogeneity of variance, a nonparametric method (determined following the statistical flowchart for the method) should be used to calculate test results, but the PMSD may be calculated as described above (using parametric methods) to provide a measure of test variability. 10.2.8.2.2 Compare the PMSD measured in the test with the upper PMSD bound variability criterion listed in Table 6. When the test PMSD exceeds the upper bound, the variability among replicates is unusually large for the test method. Such a test should be considered insufficiently sensitive to detect toxic effects on growth or reproduction of substantial magnitude. A finding of toxicity at a particular concentration may be regarded as trustworthy, but a finding of "no toxicity" or "no statistically significant toxicity" at a particular concentration should not be regarded as a reliable indication that there is no substantial toxic effect on growth or reproduction at that concentration. 10.2.8.2.3 If the PMSD measured for the test is less than or equal to the upper PMSD bound variability criterion in Table 6, then the test's variability measure lies within normal bounds and the effect concentration estimate (e.g., NOEC or LOEC) would normally be accepted unless other test review steps raise serious doubts about its validity. 10.2.8.2.4 If the PMSD measured for the test exceeds the upper PMSD bound variability criterion in Table 6, then one of the following two cases applies (10.2.8.2.4.1, 10.2.8.2.4.2). 10.2.8.2.4.1 If toxicity is found at the permitted receiving water concentration (RWC) based upon the value of the effect concentration estimate (NOEC or LOEC), then the test shall be accepted and the effect concentration estimate may be reported, unless other test review steps raise serious doubts about its validity. 10.2.8.2.4.2 If toxicity is not found at the permitted RWC based upon the value of the effect concentration estimate (NOEC or LOEC) and the PMSD measured for the test exceeds the upper PMSD bound, then the test shall not be accepted, and a new test must be conducted promptly on a newly collected sample. 10.2.8.2.5 To avoid penalizing laboratories that achieve unusually high precision, lower PMSD bounds shall also be applied when a hypothesis test result (e.g., NOEC or LOEC) is reported. Lower PMSD bounds, which are based on the 10th percentiles of national PMSD data, are presented in Table 6. The 10th percentile PMSD represents a practical limit to the sensitivity of the test method because few laboratories are able to achieve such precision on a regular basis and most do not achieve it even occasionally. In determining hypothesis test results (e.g., NOEC or LOEC), a test concentration shall not be considered toxic (i.e., significantly different from the control) if the relative difference from the control is less than the lower PMSD bounds in Table 6. See USEPA, 2000b for specific examples of implementing lower PMSD bounds. 10.2.8.3 To assist in reviewing within-test variability, EPA recommends maintaining control charts of PMSDs calculated for successive effluent tests (USEPA, 2000b). A control chart of PMSD values characterizes the range of variability observed within a given laboratory, and allows comparison of individual test PMSDs with the laboratory's typical range of variability. Control charts of other variability and test performance measures, such as the MSD, standard deviation or CV of control responses, or average control response, also may be useful for reviewing tests and minimizing variability. The log of PMSD will provide an approximately normal variate useful for control charting. TABLE 6. VARIABILITY CRITERIA (UPPER AND LOWER PMSD BOUNDS) FOR SUBLETHAL HYPOTHESIS TESTING ENDPOINTS SUBMITTED UNDER NPDES PERMITS.1 1 Lower and upper PMSD bounds were determined from the 10th and 90th percentile, respectively, of PMSD data from EPA's WET Interlaboratory Variability Study (USEPA, 2001a; USEPA, 2001b). Introduction MI is an important end-point in clinical trials. The prevention of MI has in fact been the primary treatment effect assessed in recent trials of antiplatelet and antithrombin therapies [ 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11]. CECs are now commonly used to adjudicate suspected end-point events in cardiovascular clinical trials. Limited information has, however, been published about the classification of the cause of death [ 12, 13, 14, 15, 16] or the adjudication of nonfatal end-points [ 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24] in these trials. The rates of end-point events can vary considerably depending on whether committees merely confirm events reported by investigators or whether they adjudicate all suspected events identified by data screening. In the PURSUIT trial [ 6], a central, independent CEC systematically identified and adjudicated all suspected non-fatal MIs that occurred after enrolment and through a 30-day follow-up. The rationale for CEC adjudication was the need for a systematic, unbiased, independent, and standard assessment of this end-point in a large, international trial. To understand the role of such a committee, and to provide recommendations for future efforts, we reviewed the results of the CEC process used in the PURSUIT trial to identify and adjudicate suspected end-point MIs. Methods The PURSUIT trial The PURSUIT trial [ 6] enrolled 10,948 patients at 726 hospitals in 27 countries from North America, Latin America, Western Europe, and Eastern Europe. Patients with acute coronary syndromes without persistent ST-segment elevation were randomly assigned to placebo or eptifibatide. The inclusion and exclusion criteria, as well as treatment regimens, have been published elsewhere [ 6]. The primary end-point was a composite of death or non-fatal MI (or reinfarction in patients with MI at enrolment) by 30-day follow-up as adjudicated by the CEC. The composite end-point was also calculated using the site investigator determination of MI from case report forms. We assessed the incidence of end-point (post-enrolment) MI among all 10,948 patients enrolled in the PURSUIT trial. End-point definitions The definition of end-point MI included a first MI (for patients without MI at enrolment) or reinfarction (for patients who had a MI at enrolment), according to clinical, electrocardiography (ECG), and laboratory criteria (see Appendix). A MI present at enrolment was not considered an end-point MI and was not adjudicated by the CEC. Data collection Data were collected using standard case report forms. Additional information collected from all patients included cardiac enzymes, ECGs (performed at the time of the qualifying episode, at enrolment, at 24 hours, at first hospital discharge, and at 30-day follow-up), revascularisation procedure reports, details of ischemic episodes, clinical complications, medications, and readmission records. All enzyme values for each patient were reported; study monitors then verified them against source documents. Site investigators were asked to submit supporting documents for patients with suspected MI, which included discharge summaries and additional ECGs during the suspected event. Progress notes and procedure notes were also collected if necessary. An independent, blinded core laboratory read the specified ECGs and identified suspected MIs, defined as new Q waves 0.04 s in two contiguous leads. Overall, data for creatine kinase-myocardial band (CK-MB) were missing for only 26 patients (0.2%), data for baseline ECG were missing for 44 patients (0.4%), and data for later ECGs were missing for 36 patients (0.3%). Process for event adjudication The CEC was a group dedicated to event adjudication within the North American Trial Co-ordinating Centre at the Duke Clinical Research Institute. The group consisted of a managing supervisor, clinical coordinators with a nursing or clinical research background, administrative assistants, cardiology fellows, and cardiology faculty members. The CEC helped define clinical end-point events, helped develop computer algorithms to identify patients with suspected end-point events from data from case report forms, worked with monitoring groups to collect supplemental medical records for event review, and adjudicated suspected clinical end-point events. A schematic diagram of the clinical event adjudication process is shown in Figure 1. Computer algorithms systematically identified key variables from the database that could indicate the occurrence of a post-enrolment (end-point) MI. These variables, which were determined from clinical expertise and trial experience, included elevated cardiac enzymes, ECG core laboratory identification of suspected MI, recurrent ischemic events, urgent revascularisations, or site investigator assessment of a post-enrolment MI. The system was designed for broad identification of all patients with possible MI after enrolment. A report of all patients with suspected end-point MI was generated according to 'hits' on the variables already listed. Each patient with a suspected MI had a clinical folder prepared by CEC staff at the Duke Clinical Research Institute. Folders included the case report form and ancillary data forms, discharge summaries, cardiac enzyme results, ECGs, and a data worksheet that summarised clinical events, procedures, and cardiac enzyme information. Medical records were translated into English if necessary, using physicians literate in the other language when possible. Each case was reviewed independently by two physicians blinded to treatment in the phase I review. The case was classified as resolved if the physicians agreed that a MI had or had not occurred. Cases in which there was disagreement between the two CEC physicians were forwarded to a second-level (phase II) review for adjudication by consensus of a committee of faculty cardiologists (Fig. 1). The committee members were also blinded to treatment and to the result of the phase I review. Physicians could request additional medical records, if necessary, to adjudicate a suspected event. If additional records were obtained, the case was re-reviewed to ensure that decisions were based on similar documents. For quality assurance, 10% of the cases with agreement by the phase I physicians were reviewed in a blinded fashion by the phase II committee to determine whether there were any systematic inconsistencies with the phase I reviews. There were no inconsistencies found. Statistical analysis Variables were summarised as percentages for dichotomous variables or medians (25th and 75th percentiles) for continuous variables. The 2test was used to calculate P values. Results Overall, 5005 patients with suspected MI after enrolment (46%) were identified and adjudicated by the CEC. Table 1presents the number of patients enrolled and the number of patients with an end-point MI identified by the CEC or the site, both or neither, by geographic region. The proportion of patients with MI adjudicated by the CEC was similar in North America, Latin America and Western Europe, but tended to be higher in Eastern Europe. As expected, because of the rigorous effort by the CEC to identify all suspected MIs for adjudication, the process identified more end-point events than did the site investigators (Table 2). Eptifibatide reduced the incidence of death or MI in the PURSUIT trial by 1.5% (15.7% versus 14.2%; P = 0.042) at 30 days [ 6]. This benefit was driven primarily by a reduction in nonfatal MI. We noted smaller absolute and relative treatment effects when the CEC-determined MI rates were used compared with the site investigator-determined rates. The proportion of patients enrolled who had a suspected end-point MI ranged from 41% in North America to 50% in Western Europe (Table 3). Disagreements between the site investigator and CEC assessment of MI occurred in 9% of all patients enrolled in the trial, or 983 of the 5005 patients with suspected MI adjudicated by the CEC (20%; Table 3). Of these 983 patients with disagreements, 816 patients had a MI assessed by the CEC but not by the site investigator, and 167 patients had a MI identified by site investigators but not by the CEC. Discussion The review of the clinical-events classification process in the current study raises some important issues for clinical investigators. First, the rates of end-point infarction or re-infarction were higher than those reported in prior trials of patients with acute coronary syndromes. Second, the CEC identified more events than the site investigators. Third, the site investigator and the CEC assessments of MI disagreed for 20% of the patients reviewed by the CEC. CECs have become an integral aspect of clinical trials of new therapies for patients with acute coronary syndromes. The primary function of these committees has been to systematically adjudicate nonfatal end-points such as MI. The first large trials in these patients used mortality as the primary end-point; thus, standardised assessment of patient outcome was not required [ 25, 26, 27]. More recent trials, however, have included nonfatal end-points such as MI, congestive heart failure, stroke, or safety measures as part of composite clinical end-points. Myocardial infarction has been considered a 'hard' end-point, but its assessment can be as difficult in clinical trials as it is in clinical practice, because clinical, laboratory, and ECG data may conflict and physicians often disagree whether a patient has suffered a MI. An example of this difficulty is the evaluation of small enzyme elevations in patients undergoing percutaneous coronary intervention [ 28]. Although these low-level enzyme elevations are defined as MIs in many trial protocols, physicians do not consistently consider them to be infarctions in daily clinical practice and therefore may be reluctant to report them as such. The rates of infarction as adjudicated by the CEC in the PURSUIT trial were higher than reported in previous trials of patients with acute coronary syndromes, for several reasons [ 1, 7, 8, 29]. First, the PURSUIT trial CEC effort was more liberal in its identification of possible events. Committee physicians reviewed events for almost 50% of the patients in the trial, which is nearly double the percentage that underwent adjudication by the same CEC group in two other trials: Integrilin to Minimize Platelet Aggregation and Coronary Thrombosis (IMPACT-II) [ 9], and Global Use of Strategies to Open Occluded Arteries in Acute Coronary Syndromes (GUSTO-IIb) [ 1]. Second, the definition of MI is evolving and has varied among clinical trials in this patient population. For example, criteria for MI after bypass surgery in the GUSTO-IIb trial were more stringent than those in the PURSUIT trial, requiring two of three criteria to be met (CK or CK-MB fraction 5 times the upper limit of normal, two new Q waves, or new regional wall-motion abnormalities). Finally, more cardiac enzyme samples were collected per patient in the PURSUIT trial than in GUSTO-IIb (median [25 th, 75 th] 4.5 [ 3, 7] versus 3 [ 1, 4]) (RAHarrington, unpublished data). These factors, particularly the systematic collection of cardiac enzymes (missing for only 0.2% of the patients), contributed to a higher ascertainment of MI in the PURSUIT trial. Trials that rely on investigator-reported MI probably underestimate the true event rate. Before implementation of the CEC process, the International Steering Committee agreed on the definitions for MI, which were based on experience and clinical expertise. Because of the global nature of the PURSUIT investigation, attempts were made to model definitions after everyday clinical practice. The study protocol provided the end-point definitions, so that the CEC and site investigators had the same set of criteria to classify MI. Nevertheless, the site investigators underreported infarctions. Similar findings have been noted in prior trials [ 1, 9, 22, 23, 30, 31]. The strategy used to identify suspected infarctions can affect the proportion of events with disagreements. Some trials have confirmed events reported only by the investigators [ 5, 7, 8, 11, 29, 30], whereas other trials have adjudicated all suspected events identified by systematic screening of patient data [ 1, 2, 3, 9, 31, 32]. In the first strategy, the CEC event rates will be the same as or lower than the site investigator-reported rates. In the second, the CEC event rates may be higher, lower, or the same as the site investigator-reported rates. The impact of adjudication of cases from other regions of the world by physicians based in North America is unknown. In the current study, however, medical records were translated to English, physicians fluent in other languages were used when needed, and the criteria for re-infarction were based, for the most part, on objective data such as enzyme and ECG data. There are several key implications of these findings. The strategy used to identify and adjudicate end-point events is one of many factors to be considered when comparing event rates between clinical studies. During trial planning, the events classification strategy being considered may also have an important impact on estimation of event rates and the calculations of sample size and power. Education and training of clinical investigators regarding end-point definitions and ascertainment may help in minimising differences between CEC and site investigator assessments of end-points. Finally, the strategy and rigor of the clinical event adjudication process used may influence the interpretation of trial results by the clinical and regulatory communities. We believe that CEC adjudication of suspected nonfatal MI end-point events is important to provide independent, unbiased, standard, systematic assessments, particularly in trials that include broad geographic regions and different clinical practice settings. Conclusion Nonfatal MI, inherently undesirable, is an important clinical event and an important component of clinical trial end-points. CEC adjudication of infarction is necessary to provide standardised, systematic, independent, and unbiased assessments of end-points in clinical investigation. In the PURSUIT trial, the assessment of infarction by site investigators versus that of a central CEC disagreed: more infarctions were identified by the CEC than by the site investigators. The impact of these findings affects the comparison of event rates between trials as well as the design of future trials. Competing interests None declared. Abbreviations CEC = clinical events committee; CK-MB = creatine kinase-myocardial band; ECG = electrocardiography; MI = myocardial infarction; PURSUIT = Platelet Glycoprotein IIb/IIIa in Unstable Angina: Receptor Suppression Using Integrilin (Eptifibatide) Therapy. Appendix: definition for end-point (post-enrolment) myocardial infarction Enzyme criteria 1. Myocardial infarction (MI) events without documentation of a prior MI during the admission: creatine kinase-myocardial band (CK-MB) elevated above the upper limit of normal (ULN) and 3% of total CK. If CK-MB is unavailable, then total CK > 2 ULN. 2. MI events with documentation of a prior infarction during the admission, either before or at enrolment: If <18 hours since previous MI. Recurrent, severe ischemic discomfort and new or recurrent ST-segment elevation 0.1 mV in at least two contiguous leads, either persisting for 30 min. If 18 hours since previous MI. Re-elevation of CK-MB to above the ULN (if prior CK-MB was within normal range) or > 50% above the prior level (if prior CK-MB was above the ULN). If CK-MB is unavailable: either total CK 2 ULN and increased by 25%; or 1.5 ULN and increased by 200 IU above the previous value. 3. Periprocedural MI events (occurring during or <24 hours after percutaneous coronary intervention): CK-MB 3 ULN and >50% above the prior nadir value. If CK-MB is unavailable, then total CK 3 ULN. 4. Perioperative MI events occurring during or <36 hours after bypass surgery): CK-MB 5 ULN (or CK, in the absence of CK-MB). ECG criteria New, significant Q waves or Q-wave equivalents 0.04 s in at least two contiguous leads. If enzyme or ECG data are unavailable, a MI is considered to have occurred when there is a preponderance of clinical evidence based on patient signs, symptoms, ECG changes, and pathological findings. When enzyme or ECG criteria are available, they take precedence. United States General Accounting Office Internal Control GAO Exposure Draft December 2000 Maintaining Effective Control Over Employee Time and Attendance Reporting GAO01186G Abbreviations INTRODUCTION In recent years significant changes in work place habits and technological advances have affected the manner in which time and attendance (T&A) reporting is accomplished. For example, more flexible work schedules and places, and the trend in government to streamline operations have provided a major impetus for changes in T&A systems. However, perhaps the most significant influence on these changes is advancing technology and the increased use of automation. The Government Paperwork Elimination Act (GPEA) encourages the movement toward paperless applications and the use of electronic signatures. Although GPEA focuses on electronic systems regarding information obtained from and provided to sources outside the government, it provides an additional impetus to agencies to seek further applications of paperless systems and use of electronic signatures. Trends toward increased automation and workplace flexibility have changed the operating environment. However, the need for good internal control continues to exist. To keep abreast of the changes, especially those in automation, we have revised this document to emphasize the attention that should remain regarding effective internal control in T&A systems. This document offers suggestions for taking advantage of the advancements in automated T&A systems and updates the previous guidance to incorporate guidance offered in response to agency requests.1 As advancing technologies continue, managers have greater flexibility in designing and implementing T&A systems best suited for their agencies. In designing and implementing new T&A systems or components of existing systems, management should strive for costbeneficial systems and related internal control. The traditional work schedule followed by civilian employees differs from those generally followed by members on active duty of the armed services. Because traditional work schedules influence internal control in T&A systems, this document contains two major parts, the first dealing with civilian employees who are expected to be "working," usually during certain times and the second part dealing with members of the active duty armed services who are expected to be in a "duty status" and thus on call 24 hours a day. Part I, civilian employees, provides guidance for civilian employees, and part II, military service members, provides guidance for military service members. Employees who are paid regardless of their presence or absence and who do not accrue leave under 5 U.S.C. 6301 et seq. (e.g., certain political appointees) are exempt from the provisions of this document.2 Questions on or interpretations of any material in this document may be submitted to the Managing Director, Financial Management and Assurance, U.S. General Accounting Office, 441 G Street NW, Washington, DC 20548. 1 When issued in final, this document will replace our 1996 revision to Title 6, "Pay, Leave, and Allowances," of the GAO PolicyandProceduresManualforGuidanceofFederalAgencies. 2 See Comptroller General Decision B123698 (May 10, 1978). (BLANK) PART I: CIVILIAN EMPLOYEES INTERNAL CONTROL OBJECTIVES IN T&A SYSTEMS The primary objective of a T&A system is to ensure that hours worked, hours in pay status, and hours absent are properly reported. Reliable data are important to accurately compute and account for computed pay, leave, and allowances. To achieve this objective, management should have in place an internal control system that provides reasonable assurance that (1) T&A transactions are properly authorized and approved and (2) T&A data are completely and accurately recorded and retained. T&A Transactions Are Properly Authorized and Approved The nature and extent of T&A transaction approvals and controls can vary among T&A systems. Fully automated systems, for example, may require fewer approvals than manual systems because of automated edits and controls, and the use of automated signatures. Nevertheless, the nature and extent of T&A approvals must be such that management has assurance that supervisors or other officials know they are accountable for the approvals of an employee's work time and absences. This helps ensure that accurate T&A information is recorded and reported for the purposes of computing pay and allowances. Primary responsibility for authorizing and approving T&A transactions rests with the employee's supervisor, who approves the employee's T&A reports. Timekeepers3 and supervisors must be aware of the work time and absence of employees for whom they are responsible to ensure the reliability of T&A data. To the extent practical, changes to an employee's normal work schedule should generally be approved prior to the change actually occurring. Unanticipated changes should be reviewed for approval or disapproval as soon as reasonably possible. T&A Data Are Complete and Accurate Because most federal civilian employees are paid on an hourly basis (or fractions of an hour) and earn and charge leave on that basis, a complete and accurate record of the time an employee works must be retained as an official agency record available for review or inspection. To provide a basis for pay, leave, and benefits, the records must include aggregate hours of regular time, other time (e.g., overtime, credit hours, or compensatory time), and leave.4 To help ensure accuracy, the completed records must be reviewed and approved by the supervisor (or other equivalent official). In an automated environment, system edits and other automated tests can 3 The traditional T&A system normally involved a timekeeper who was responsible for assisting supervisors in recording and verifying employees' work time and absences. New T&A systems can reduce or even eliminate timekeepers' duties and shift the responsibilities to employees or supervisors. Regardless of the changes made, recording accurate T&A information remains the primary control objective. 4 Traditionally, daily arrival and departure times were required to be recorded. Although it is not required that daily records be maintained, agency management may choose to do so by using signin/signout sheets or other means. assist the supervisor in his or her review and verify that recorded work time is accurate and allowable. RELIANCE ON INTERNAL CONTROLS IN A T&A SYSTEM As T&A systems evolve toward increasingly automated methods of recording and reporting employee work and leave times, it is important to implement and maintain a welldefined system that provides management with the confidence that controls are working as designed. This can be done by: Having a welldefined organizational structure and flow of T&A data with clearly written policies and procedures setting forth the responsibilities of employees, timekeepers (if applicable), and supervisors regarding recording, examining, and approving T&A transactions. Effectively applying available technology and concepts to achieve efficient and effective T&A system processes in accordance with applicable requirements and the environment in which the agency operates. Having the ability to record payroll costs by appropriation, organizational code, and work activity to facilitate application of required cost accounting for financial and program management. Reviewing and testing all aspects of the T&A systems' processing procedures and controls in sufficient scope, depth, and frequency to provide reasonable assurance that key procedures and controls are working and effective and that data integrity is maintained. Agencies' T&A systems are subject to periodic review under the Federal Managers' Financial Integrity Act of 1982 (FMFIA) (31 U.S.C. 3512(c), (d)).5 RECORDING AND MAINTAINING COMPLETE AND ACCURATE T&A RECORDS Required T&A Information The following T&A information and documentation should be recorded and maintained for each employee for each pay period: 1. employee name and unique identifying number (e.g., a social security number), 5StandardsforInternalControlintheFederalGovernment(GAO/AIMD0021.3.1) was revised in November 1999, and is available on the Internet, GAO home page (www.gao.gov) under "Other Publications." It is also available in hard copy by calling (202) 5126000 or at the U.S. General Accounting Office, 700 4th Street NW, Room 1100, Washington, D.C. In addition, the Office of Management and Budget (OMB) requirements for evaluating financial systems and controls are in OMB Circular A123, InternalControlSystems(June 1995)and OMB Circular A127, FinancialManagementSystems(July 1993). These OMB and GAO issuances establish the criteria and rules for assessing and reporting annually on the status of agency systems and controls. 2. pay period number or dates, 3. hours worked, 4. hours of premium pay, by type, to which the employee is entitled, 5. dates and number of hours of leave (by type), credit hours, and compensatory hours earned and used,6 6. evidence of approval by an authorized official (usually the supervisor), 7. any required supporting documentation or records for absences, and 8. other information agencies believe necessary. A T&A record containing all required data elements can be (1) a manually completed hard copy document, (2) an automated file retained electronically, or (3) a combination of automated and manual records. The T&A information can be obtained using a number of different methods, including but not limited to preprinted or designed T&A forms; other standard forms; internal memorandums; emails; employee, timekeeper, or supervisor notations (for example, that might result from phone conversations); or other formats so long as the documents are controlled and retained as the official T&A record of employees. The data contained in the T&A records should be linked to accounting records and provide the necessary support for financial reporting and allocation of costs. Recording T&A Data Agency policy must affix accountability for recording the T&A data referred to in the previous section. The data may be recorded by the 1. individual employee, 2. timekeeper, 3. supervisor, or 4. a combination of the three. Agency policy must assign accountability for recording and maintaining T&A data referred to in the previous section. If the employee is not recording his or her T&A data, the basis for recording the data could be (1) the timekeeper's or supervisor's observation, (2) time clocks, or other automated timekeeping devices, where not prohibited by law, or (3) other applicable techniques. The person recording the T&A data acknowledges responsibility for the accuracy of the recorded data. The point at which T&A data are recorded can vary among different T&A systems. For example, T&A data may be recorded (1) daily, (2) when deviations occur from an individual's or agency's established work schedule, or (3) at the end of the pay period. Regardless of the timing of recording T&A data, management must have in place a system of control techniques that gives reasonable assurance that the recorded information reflects time worked, leave taken, or other absences. 6Cumulative balances of available leave by type per employee are required to be maintained on record. Agencies may maintain these cumulative balances on biweekly or pay period T&A records which show the available balances for the pay period ending. Examples of the types of leave on such T&A records include, but are not limited to, annual, sick, and family friendly leave. Supplementary T&A Records Supplementary T&A records, containing information not previously discussed, shall be completed and maintained. Examples of such records include those for establishing (1) work schedules,7 (2) flexiplace arrangements,8 (3) cumulative leave balances available for use by type, (4) overtime, (5) compensatory time earned and used, (6) credit hours earned and used under an alternative work schedule, and (7) number of unscheduled duty hours. The records must show (1) an employee's pay period schedules indicating planned start and stop work times and hours per day for an established work schedule, (2) the aggregate hours (or fractions of hours) and days the employees worked regular hours, worked overtime, took leave, or used earned compensatory time or credit hours, and (3) the supervisor's approval. In order for the agency to properly document and calculate an employee's overtime pay entitlements under 5 U.S.C. chapters 55 and 61 and 29 U.S.C. 201 et seq., the records must distinguish between regular overtime and irregular or occasional overtime. Employees Temporarily Assigned to Another Agency When an employee is on temporary assignment to another agency, the agency to which the employee is detailed must record T&A data for the employee in accordance with these requirements. It must also report the information to the employee's home agency promptly to facilitate disbursement of pay by the home agency. Access to T&A Information Access to T&A information should be limited to those authorized to access the information. AUTHORIZING AND APPROVING T&A TRANSACTIONS Attestations, Verifications, and Approvals This section (1) defines attestations, verifications, and approvals and (2) discusses how attestations, verifications, and approvals can be achieved in a manual or automated T&A system environment. Attestation refers to an employee affirming T&A data to be true, correct, and accurate. Verification is a confirmation, usually by the timekeeper or supervisor, that recorded information is true, correct, and accurate to the best of his/her knowledge. Approval is the supervisor's, other equivalent official's, or higher level manager's agreement, ratification, or concurrence to (1) a planned work schedule and leave of employee or (2) actual T&A data. Such approvals represent that the actual work schedule recorded by the employee or timekeeper is to the best of 7 Federal agencies can allow employees to vary their daily arrival and departure times and, under some options, to vary the length of their workday or workweek. In all cases, fulltime employees are required to work or otherwise account for 80 hours each biweekly pay period (5 U.S.C. 6120 et seq.). 8 See Office of Personnel Management's (OPM) Memorandum for Personnel Directors on the subject of Alternative Workplace Arrangements, October 21, 1993. the approving official's knowledge true, correct, and accurate, and in accordance with applicable laws, regulations, and legal decisions. The approving official acknowledges awareness and understanding of his/her responsibility when approving T&A data. The evidence of attestations, verifications, and approvals will of necessity differ between manual and automated systems. In manual systems, attestations, verifications, and approvals are usually shown by a signature or initial of an individual on a hard copy document. In automated systems, they are represented by what can be referred to generically as electronic signatures.9 There are many types of electronic signature technologies offering different degrees of confidence, control, and security. In selecting and/or developing, and implementing a particular electronic signature technology for an automated T&A application, management must assess the risks associated with the loss, misuse, or compromise of the electronic T&A information and signatures compared to the benefits, costs, and effort associated with selecting and/or developing and managing the automated systems and electronic signatures.10 See the appendix for a further explanation about electronic signatures and GAO's review of such applications. Authorizing an Employee's Work Schedule When (1) an employee's work schedule differs from the agencywide schedule established by management or (2) reflects a flexible work program, an employee's work schedule should be approved by the supervisor or the official most knowledgeable of the employee's schedule in advance of the period when the plan takes effect. If the schedule is not approved in advance, the plan should be approved as soon after the start of the pay period as possible. Approval must be granted for overtime before the work has been performed when feasible and, when not feasible, as soon as possible after the work has been performed. Care must be taken to distinguish between regular overtime and irregular overtime or occasional overtime (or compensatory time in lieu of overtime, where allowed) in order for the agency to properly document and calculate an employee's overtime pay entitlements under 5 U.S.C. chapters 55 and 61 and 29 U.S.C. 201 et seq. Approval of Leave Approval of leave should be made by the employee's supervisor before the leave is taken. If leave is not approved in advance, it should be reviewed for approval or disapproval as soon as reasonably possible after taken. 9 The GPEA defines "electronic signature" as a method of signing an electronic message that (1) identifies and authenticates a particular person as the source of the electronic message and (2) indicates such person's approval of the information contained in the message. 10 GPEA requires agencies to comply with the guidance issued by OMB regarding automated systems that maintain electronic information as a substitute for paper and use of electronic signatures. OMB issued the guidance in Memorandum M0010, dated April 25, 2000. A 29page attachment to the memorandum contains the details of the guidance. Also, as part of the OMB guidance, the Department of Justice was charged with developing practical guidance on legal considerations related to agencies' use of electronic filing and record keeping. The department issued LegalConsiderationsinDesigningandImplementing ElectronicProcesses:AGuideforFederalAgenciesin November 2000. Attestation and Verification by Employees and Timekeepers The employee and timekeeper, if any, are not required to attest or verify T&A reports and related documents. However, if management requires such attestations and/or verifications, they should be performed as close to the end of the pay period as possible. When not possible until after the end of the pay period, a copy of the T&A report and related documents, when applicable, should be provided to the employee promptly for attestation and to the timekeeper promptly for verification. The employee and/or timekeeper should promptly disclose any discrepancies to the supervisor. The supervisor should promptly resolve such discrepancies. Approval of T&A Reports and Related Records All T&A reports and related supporting documents (e.g., overtime pay authorizations) must be reviewed and approved by an authorized official. Review and approval should be made by the official, normally the immediate supervisor, most knowledgeable of the time worked and absence of the employee involved. Approval of T&A reports and related documents should be based on personal observation, work output, timekeeper verification, checking data against other independent sources, reliance on other controls, or a combination of these methods. The official most knowledgeable of the time worked should approve any overtime or compensatory time. Care should be taken (1) to ensure that the overtime was approved, preferably in advance, and (2) that the amount and type of overtime (regular or irregular), credit hours, and compensatory time is accurately recorded. If practical, T&A data must be approved at the end of the last day of the pay period or later. When this is not feasible because of payroll processing requirements to meet established paydays, T&A data must be prepared and approved as close to the end of the pay period as possible to still allow processing of the payroll by payday. Adjustment or Corrections After the T&A Period Ends Adjustments or corrections required because of changes after T&A data were approved must be made in the payroll system and reflected in pay for the pay period to which the changes apply, when possible. When not possible, adjustments must be made as soon after discovery as practical. Any changes must be approved by an authorizing official before being entered into the payroll system. SelfApproval of T&A Reports In general, employees may not approve their own T&A data. However, the head of an agency (or designee) may authorize particular individuals to approve their own T&A data in certain situations or if the individual is a high level manager (such as the head of a large unit within the agency). In these situations, an official authorized by the agency head (or designee) must grant advance authority in writing, and the agency must ensure that effective controls are in place to ensure the proper reporting of T&A data. Exceptions to the general prohibition of employees approving their own T&A data are intended to apply when it is not feasible to have T&A data approved by a supervisor. These exceptions include but are not necessarily limited to (1) employees working alone at a remote site for long periods and (2) employees based at the same duty station as their supervisors or timekeepers but frequently at work sites away from the duty station. In other situations when it is not practical for the supervisor to approve T&A data promptly, the employee may be paid and the supervisor may subsequently review and approve the data. TRANSMITTING T&A INFORMATION TO PAYROLL T&A information must be transmitted to the payroll system for all employees or, under exceptionbased systems, for employees who have changes to their normal work schedules. While the choice of methods used to transmit the T&A data may be based on costeffectiveness and management information needs, the system used to transmit the information must protect T&A data from unauthorized change or alteration and must generate a record of any change made. Any change to previously attested to and approved data must be reviewed by and attested to by the employee whose data was changed. The changed data must also be reviewed by and approved by an authorized official. EXCEPTIONBASED SYSTEMS Exceptionbased T&A systems, as the name implies, require pay period recording of arrival and departure times only if material variances11 from preestablished work schedules occur. Employees' schedules are established, either through management designated work schedules or by mutual agreement between employees and management. When employees' arrival and departure times for a pay period are established, these schedules become the basis for recorded T&A data unless material variances or deviations occur. As previously noted, if no material variances occur, arrival and departure times and hours worked per day need not be recorded. Material variances or deviations must be approved by the supervisor before the change occurs, if feasible, or promptly after occurring, if not feasible. As part of their approval of the change, supervisors or designees must verify that the dates and amounts of material changes have been recorded in the appropriate T&A record. However, in either case (material variance or no variance) each employee's T&A record must be approved by the supervisor or comparable official. Several alternatives exist for recording changes to established schedules. Changes can be noted by recording arrival and departure times directly on an employee's time sheet, recording arrival and departure times on a centrally maintained timein/timeout log used by many employees, or noting the number of hours and minutes of the deviation in a record that the supervisor maintains. The method selected by management to record the deviations should be the most efficient and effective one under the circumstances. Unless otherwise designated by management, material variances or deviations from an established schedule for recording purposes are those that differ by 1 hour or more during a planned workday or flex day. However, if leave is used, a deviation of less than 1 hour could be considered material. For example, if an employee arrives 30 minutes late, but works 30 minutes past the planned departure time, this would be considered an immaterial variation and need not be recorded. On the other hand, if the employee chooses to request annual or sick leave rather than to work for the time absent, then a material deviation for recording purposes has occurred. ALTERNATIVE WORKPLACE ARRANGEMENTS Alternative workplace arrangements12 involve working at locations other than the traditional government office. Locations of alternative workplaces are usually the employee's home or telecenters.13 Although numerous benefits exist for both the agency and employees participating in alternative workplaces (such as employee moral and lower commuting costs), flexible workplace is a management option, not an employee benefit. Employees who work at alternative work sites should have a written agreement with their supervisors stipulating, among other items, the period of time the agreement is in effect, days in which the employee will work at the alternative site, work assignments and performance, work schedule, and time and attendance. As a basis for approving T&A data, supervisors are required to obtain reasonable assurance that employees working at remote sites are working when scheduled and that T&A information accurately reflects time worked and absences from scheduled tours of duty. Numerous techniques are available to the supervisor to obtain this assurance. For example, reviewing the work output of the employee and occasional phone call or visits to the employee. 12 Other terms used to refer to alternative workplace arrangements or locations of work are "flexible workplace," "flexiplace," and "telecommuting." 13 Telecenters are facilities away from the traditional government office that are equipped with workstations, telephones, and computers among other items that are shared by employees of multiple agencies. PART II: MILITARY SERVICE MEMBERS ACTIVE MILITARY PERSONNEL Active military personnel are considered to be on duty 24 hours a day. Because the nature of some military assignments makes a confirmation of the presence at duty stations difficult, if not impossible, the recording of presence for duty and of specific hours during which duty is performed each day is not required. This is similar to exceptionbased T&A systems explained earlier in this document. Most active duty military personnel follow exceptionbased systems. However, superiors are expected to be aware of the presence and absence of service members for whom they are responsible. When a service member is on temporary assignment to another component of the armed services or to a civilian agency, the entity to which the service member is detailed must provide time and attendance recording for the service member and report the information to his or her home component promptly to facilitate payment of basic pay and allowances by (or through) the home component. Absence reports must be maintained daily to indicate those service members who are to be charged leave and those who are not present for duty but who should be. Examples of reports that might contain such data are "morning" or "day" reports, strength reports, unit diaries, and other similar reports. Information on absences which affect pay should be compiled each pay period and be transmitted to the payroll system. Without such information, the payroll system may mistakenly pay the member for unauthorized pay and allowances. The following requirements for review and approval must be met: 1. Reports of such information and related supporting documents must be reviewed and approved by a designated authorizing official. The official must be aware of the responsibilities he or she is taking regarding the accuracy of the reports. 2. Approvals of such reports will be made at the end of the last day of the pay period whenever possible. When this is not possible because of payroll processing requirements to meet established paydays, documents must be approved as close to the end of the pay period as possible. 3. Approval must be done in accordance with guidance found in the subsection "Attestations, Verifications, and Approvals" of section "Authorizing and Approving T&A Transactions" of this document. 4. Any adjustments required because of changes in reported absences after the reports were approved and transmitted to the payroll system must be made and reflected in the pay period to which the changes apply, when possible, or when not possible, adjusted as soon as possible, preferably in the next pay period. Any changes must be approved by the authorizing official prior to being entered into the payroll system. Service members may not approve their own absence reports unless prior authority to do so is granted in writing by an authorized official. When feasible (as in an office setting or environment), costeffective, and applicable, attendance reporting and related internal controls set forth in "Part I: Civilian Employees" should be instituted for service members to the extent management deems appropriate. MILITARY RESERVISTS T&A controls for military reservists depend largely on the nature of the work. If they have defined work schedules and are not expected to be available for duty on a roundtheclock basis, the T&A requirements for civilian employees are operative and should be used. If however they are employed similar to those who are on active duty or are actually on active duty, then the controls in the subsection "Active Military Personnel" are operative and should be used. APPENDIX I: GAO'S REVIEW OF ELECTRONIC SIGNATURES APPLICATIONS GAO has been asked by several federal agencies to review electronic signature systems used in financial management systems and to discuss how such systems should be evaluated. Because of some of the unique risks associated with highly automated environments, traditional data integrity techniques, such as password and user identification based systems, used to authenticate an individual may not provide the same degree of assurance as that provided by paperbased systems. For example, in a paperbased system, an individual's signature on the paper document is a timetested method of showing that an individual intended to be bound by the terms and conditions in the paper document. However, in an electronic world, where adequate controls have not been implemented, the similar approach of having an individual's name appended to a data record does not provide the same assurance because, for example, the terms and conditions can be changed without obtaining the individual's approval of the changes made. When reviewing electronic signature systems, we evaluate whether a system generates electronic signatures that represent an individual's or an entity's intent to be bound. To do this, we determine whether the electronic signature system provides reasonable assurance that the signature produced by the system is (1) unique to the signer, (2) under the signer's sole control, (3) capable of being verified, and (4) linked to the data in such a manner that, if the data are changed, the signature is invalidated. Adopting these criteria facilitates our evaluation of how well the electronic signature system addresses its threats and helps identify vulnerabilities that may be present in the system. We have also found these criteria useful since they are technology neutral (can be used regardless of the technology used to produce the signature) and allow for a variety of implementation methods, depending of the degree of risk associated with a given application. When deciding on an electronic signature system for T&A data, agencies should identify and/or develop and document the criteria used in the selection of the signature system and how the criteria and the selected system complies with the GPEA definition of an electronic signature. In addition, the agency's risk assessment process (as called for in the OMB guidance14) should disclose the risks considered that would prevent the system from successfully complying with the criteria selected by the agency. Without developing the criteria that the system should meet and then effectively assessing the risks, agencies could adopt signature systems that will not provide the necessary data integrity.15 (922289) 14 See footnote 10. A recently issued GAO report (InformationSecurity: SeriousandWidespreadWeaknessesPersistat FederalAgencies. GAO/AIMD00295, September 6, 2000) showed that in 24 agencies, physical and logical access controls were not effective in preventing or detecting system intrusions or misuse. These weaknesses have a significant adverse impact on the ability of automated systems to ensure the necessary data integrity. Ordering Information The first copy of each GAO report is free. Additional copies of reports are $2 each. A check or money order should be made out to the Superintendent of Documents. VISA and MasterCard credit cards are accepted, also. Orders for 100 or more copies to be mailed to a single address are discounted 25 percent. Orders by mail: U.S. General Accounting Office P.O. Box 37050 Washington, DC 20013 Orders by visiting: Room 1100 700 4th St. NW (corner of 4th and G Sts. NW) U.S. General Accounting Office Washington, DC Orders by phone: (202) 512-6000 fax: (202) 512-6061 TDD (202) 512-2537 Each day, GAO issues a list of newly available reports and testimony. To receive facsimile copies of the daily list or any list from the past 30 days, please call (202) 512-6000 using a touchtone phone. A recorded menu will provide information on how to obtain these lists. Orders by Internet: For information on how to access GAO reports on the Internet, send an e-mail message with "info" in the body to: info@www.gao.gov or visit GAO's World Wide Web home page at: http://www.gao.gov Contact one: To Report Fraud, Web site: http://www.gao.gov/fraudnet/fraudnet.htm Waste, or Abuse in e-mail: fraudnet@gao.gov 1-800-424-5454 (automated answering system) Background The organization of chromatin within the eukaryotic nucleus has been a subject of great interest as it is likely to impact on important processes such as recombination [ 1] and epigenetic mechanisms of gene control [ 2]. Early observations by Rabl (cited by [ 3]) in plants suggested a preferential polarization of chromosomes, with their centromeres clustered at one end of the nuclear envelope (the apical side) and the telomeres at the opposite end (the basal side). More recently, evidence from fluorescence in situ hybridization (FISH) studies in different systems has suggested that various genomic loci can be found consistently in specific regions of the nucleus [ 4], and that subnuclear location can be correlated with gene activity [ 5]. Together with results from real-time measurements with living cells [ 6], these studies argue for a structured organization of chromosomes. The present model we have of chromatin organization within the nucleus is a dynamic one, with 'territories' for each chromosome defined by their relative location to each other [ 7]. During the mitotic cycle, chromosomes are duplicated in the S phase and pulled to the two daughter cells during M phase. Chromosome territories are re-established after cell division, and once the cell is arrested in a long interphase, chromosome movement becomes restricted again [ 8]. Some nucleus-to-nucleus variations in the exact position of each locus relative to the rest of the genome can be expected [ 9]. As some random organization within each territory is possible [ 10], there is also likely to be time-dependent positional differences in the relative coordinates of each locus within a single nucleus [ 11]. These predicted nucleus-to-nucleus variations and the mobility of the established territories within the nuclei of various cell types in eukaryotes remain poorly defined in most systems. So far, most in situ studies of gene positioning and changes in higher-order chromatin architecture have been carried out using FISH. This method can produce artifacts, however, because it requires the fixation and permeabilization of cells and denaturation of chromatin before hybridization with labeled single-strand probes [ 12]. It is also very difficult to perform kinetic studies with FISH to track the dynamics of chromatin movement in a single nucleus. Recent advances in the application of green fluorescent protein (GFP) as an in vivo tag of specific chromosomal regions promises to revolutionize our ability to observe chromatin-based processes in near real-time [ 13]. This technique, first established by Andrew Belmont and collaborators [ 14], entails the construction of a fusion protein between GFP and the DNA-binding domain (DBD) of a known heterologous transcription factor. The binding site for the DBD is multimerized into a concatameric array which is then inserted into the genome of animal or yeast cells. Expression of the GFP-DBD fusion protein results in fluorescent tagging of the concatamer in situ . This provides a 'beacon' that allows one to track the position of this region in the genome with high specificity and sensitivity. In yeast and animal cells, a single concatamer insert can be visualized with high resolution and fidelity, and the application of this technique has provided new insights on chromosome behavior [ 15, 16, 17]. These findings might, however, be true only for the few cell types and yeast strains studied so far, and may not be generally applicable to all eukaryotic cells. For example, even though chromosome territories showed only small movements during an observation period of several hours [ 6], they may show larger movements over longer time periods such as days. Also, the degree of nuclear order appears to depend on the particular cell type [ 18]. Earlier application of this technology in multicellular organisms involved extrachromosomal arrays of the lac operator created in C. elegans by co-injecting plasmids containing the operator array and GFP sequences along with other constructs [ 19]. The samples were fixed for immunological detection and the sizes as well as stability of the arrays studied remain undefined. Thus, application of that technique to study chromatin behavior may be rather limited. Very recently, Vazquez et al. [ 20] applied this technology in dissected Drosophila spermatocytes from animals that have integrated the lac operator arrays at cytogenetically defined genomic loci. Real-time monitoring of chromosome movement in this specialized cell type indicated that progression through G2 dramatically restricts the slower, long-range component of chromatin movement. This study provided the first direct evidence for cell-cycle control of chromatin movement and elegantly illustrated the power of this technology in transgenic organisms to facilitate the understanding of chromosome behavior in a developmental context. The model plant Arabidopsis offers an excellent system in which to apply this new technology for the study of chromatin organization and dynamics. Aside from being easily transformable and having a well characterized genome [ 21], it is relatively easy to track cell types and individual cells. One can easily distinguish one cell from another, and individual cells can be tracked for a week or more [ 22]. In the present work, we have successfully adapted the 'GFP beacon' approach to create the necessary tools and transgenic lines for visualizing stably inserted concatameric sites in the genome in live Arabidopsis plants. This material and technology should open up new opportunities for characterizing the physical organization and movement of chromosomes in the nuclei of Arabidopsis . Results and discussion Vector construction and molecular characterization of transgenic Arabidopsis To control accumulation of lac repressor (LacI) proteins in plant nuclei, a glucocorticoid-inducible gene expression system (pTA7002) was used for vector construction [ 23]. A gene encoding a plant-optimized GFP variant, mGFP5 [ 24], was placed in frame with a LacI -SV40 nuclear localization signal fusion ( GFP-LacI/NLS ) [ 25] and then subcloned into the vector pTA7002 under the control of the glucocorticoid receptor (GR)-responsive promoter near the left border. The resulting plasmid is designated as pEL700. At the other end of the pTA7002 vector, we inserted 256 copies of the lac operator sequence ( LacOs , 10.1 kb) and designated this second vector pEL702 (Figure 1a). The entire plasmid of pEL702 encompasses about 25 kilobases (kb) and the size of the integrating region flanked by the right and left borders of the Ti plasmid is about 17 kb. The plasmid was designed such that the DNA between the right and left borders can be transferred into plant nuclei via Agrobacterium [ 26]. Thus, when stable transgenic Arabidopsis plants are treated with the synthetic glucocorticoid dexamethasone (Dex), the expressed fusion proteins would be able to localize to the integrated loci by association with LacOs . This inducible expression system allows controlled expression of a small amount of GFP-LacI/NLS protein for optimal signal-to-noise and to prevent aggregation of GFP fusion proteins in the nuclei as a result of high protein concentrations. As Belmont and co-workers [ 14, 25] reported that the LacOs is unstable in a recombination-competent bacterial strain, we are concerned with the stability of LacOs in the Agrobacterium strain that is used to transform Arabidopsis . Thus, we examined the stability of LacOs in the Agrobacterium tumefaciens strain GV3101/MP90 by Southern blot analysis after transformation. We found that the LacOs may be unstable in Agrobacterium initially, as many colonies examined turned out to contain truncated arrays that are less than 10.1 kb, the size of the original LacOs in pEL702 (Figure 1b, lanes 1 and 2). We found, however, that colonies that do show the proper size array can be maintained for at least 2 days at 28C in liquid culture without a significant reduction of the array size (Figure 1b, lane 3). Thus, we first monitored the size of LacOs in our Agrobacterium culture before transforming Arabidopsis with colonies carrying full-length or near full-length LacOs . We observed low transformation efficiency of Arabidopsis with Agrobacterium carrying pEL702 under our transformation conditions (<10% of that with pEL700, data not shown). We speculate that a large T-DNA region (approximately 17 kb) and/or the presence of a large number of tandem repeats of LacOs in the T-DNA region may contribute to the low efficiency of gene transfer. After we obtained several independent lines that grew on selection plates containing hygromycin, we used Southern blot analysis to determine the size of the LacOs and the relative copy number of the inserted T-DNAs in the transformed lines. Pst I digestion of genomic DNA from the transgenic lines, which should release the full-length LacOs (10.1 kb) from the integrated T-DNA inserts, was hybridized with a probe consisting of 40 copies of the lac operator sequence. Thus, in this analysis, each fragment should correspond to the size of an integrated lac operator array. We detected several bands of different apparent sizes on the Southern blot (Figure 2), indicating that arrays with different numbers of lac operator sequences were integrated into the genome in each of the lines examined. Figure 2shows data from analysis of two independently transformed lines. One line is designated EL702C and showed hybridizing bands with apparent sizes of approximately 10, 9 and 7 kb. The second is designated EL702E and DNA from this line showed a single band of approximately 4.5 kb that hybridized with the lac operator probe. Southern analysis with homozygous plants from the fifth-generation progenies of both lines also showed similar signal(s) (data not shown). These results indicated that the LacOs could be truncated before or during integration into the Arabidopsis genome, but the integrated genes were subsequently stable in the plant genome. For simplicity, we will refer to the integration site as a tagged locus. The copy numbers of insertions in these lines were estimated with restriction digests of genomic DNA using Bgl II and Hind III in addition to Pst I, followed by Southern blot analysis using the LacI/NLS fragment as a probe (Figures 1, 2). Using this probe, we should detect fragments generated by enzymatic cleavage upstream of the LacI/NLS sequence in the inserts as well as restriction sites present at variable distances in the genomic DNA neighboring the left border of the insertions. Thus, each fragment detected in the Southern blot probably corresponds to a distinct copy of the transferred DNA that has integrated into the genome. Clustered integrations will, however, be more difficult to analyze in cases where a large number of insertions are present in the particular transgenic line and digestions with multiple restriction enzymes will be necessary to ascertain the structure of the insertion loci. Our results from digestions with three different restriction enzymes suggest that there are three insertions in the EL702C line and a single insertion in the EL702E line per haploid genome, consistent with the data obtained with the lac operator probe (Figure 2). Dexamethasone-inducible expression of GFP fusion protein Western blot analysis with anti-GFP polyclonal antibodies (Clonetech) was used to test inducibility of GFP-LacI/NLS in transgenic plants. We analyzed homozygous transgenic plants from two independent lines, EL702C and EL702E, as well as a line from our control vector, EL700S. This latter was transformed with pEL700, which is identical to pEL702 except for the absence of LacOs . As pEL700 does not contain the LacOs , the transgenic line EL700S can be used as a negative control for specific association of GFP-LacI/NLS with the LacOs in our experimental system. In this line, we expect the accumulation of GFP-LacI/NLS proteins in the nuclei after induction but specific binding of the fusion protein to chromatin should be absent. We treated transgenic seedlings with an excess concentration of Dex (30 M) in 10 ml water to achieve uniform induction. Samples were collected at 0, 6, 12, 24, 48, 72 and 96 hours after the treatment and proteins were extracted in sodium dodecyl sulfate (SDS)-containing buffer for immunological detection of GFP fusion proteins. We found that boiling the plant material in the extraction buffer resulted in loss of all GFP signals on our western blots. This appears to be a result of aggregation of GFP-LacI/NLS fusion proteins with some insoluble materials in plant cells as we do not encounter this problem with recombinant GFP-LacI/NLS produced in bacteria (data not shown). To circumvent this problem, we omitted the heating step in our protein sample preparation and anti-GFP cross-reacting proteins can be readily detected in our assay. Western blot signals were first detected 6 hours after the addition of Dex and increased over time in all three lines (Figure 3). After 48 hours, the detection levels did not change significantly and comparison between the three lines revealed that the Dex-inducible system in each line performed similarly with and without truncated LacOs , and minimal leakiness of the promoter was observed before induction. Although the predicted size of GFP-LacI/NLS fusion protein is 67 kDa, we detected several signals between 70 to 30 kDa in addition to a major species of around 81 kDa on our blots for all lines over time after 24 hours. The cause of this size heterogeneity of our GFP fusion protein is unclear at present. In situdetection of the tagged loci in transgenic plants We then examined nucleus labeling by GFP after Dex treatment in homozygous transgenic plants from lines EL702C and E (with LacOs ), and line EL700S (without LacOs ) by fluorescence microscopy. Each line was collected at the same time points as for the western blot analysis, and GFP fluorescence was observed with appropriate filters. All lines examined showed fluorescence in nuclei 6 hours after the treatment (Figure 4, rows A). The intensities of GFP fluorescence in nuclei were increased by 48 hours and stabilized after 48 hours in all lines. These responses were correlated with the results of the western blot analysis. Both western blot analysis and microscopy studies confirmed that the LacOs does not interfere with glucocorticoid-inducible expression. To investigate the response of the tagged loci, we observed each nucleus with three-dimensional fluorescence microscopy. If the system functions properly, we should be able to detect the tagged loci as bright spots above the GFP background signals in nuclei of the lines EL702C and E, and should not detect any spot in line EL700S because of the absence of LacOs . Bright spots were clearly observed above the diffused GFP fluorescence in nuclei observed 24 h after induction in lines EL702C and E, whereas significant fluorescence spots above the diffuse background signals were not observed in EL700S (Figure 4, rows B). The spots were detected with similar signal-to-background ratios until the end of the time course (96 h after induction) for lines EL702C and E, whereas line EL700S did not show any spots during this time course. The study also revealed that an array of about 120 copies of the lac operator sequence is sufficient to visualize LacOs in planta via GFP, as the size of the LacOs in the single inserted locus in line EL702E is approximately 4.5 kb (Figure 2). Inhibition of chimeric GFP-LacI/NLS protein binding in situto LacOsby IPTG To verify if the spots in nuclei correspond to the tagged loci, we examined whether the detected subnuclear localization of the expressed GFP-LacI/NLS fusion protein is sensitive to isopropyl--D-thiogalactoside (IPTG). As the lac repressor variant that we used binds to the operator sites as dimers, we should be able to inhibit its binding to the LacOs of the tagged loci by adding IPTG [ 27]. If the binding is specific to the LacOs inserted in the genome, the observed fluorescence spots should be suppressed by the addition of IPTG. We used homozygous plants from line EL702C, which carries three copies of the T-DNA insert, for this experiment. Forty microliters of solution containing 0.3 M of Dex and 100 mM IPTG were dropped on each seedling on the culture plates. Guard cells in the stomata of cotyledons were observed 12 hours after induction in the presence or absence of IPTG and the results from observed nuclei were tabulated (Figure 5a,b). Without IPTG, we detected one spot in 15%, two spots in 65% and three spots in 20% of total observed nuclei ( n = 25) among three seedlings. With IPTG, we detected no spots in 70% and one spot in 30% of total observed nuclei ( n = 25) in three seedlings. We also tested protein accumulation levels in the specimens examined by western blot analysis. Similar levels of signals were detected with and without IPTG (Figure 5c), thus indicating that lac repressor binding is inhibited by IPTG without change in protein accumulation levels. This study shows that the observed fluorescence spots in lines EL702C and E indeed correspond to specific binding of the induced GFP-LacI/NLS fusion protein to the tagged loci. However, the relationship between the spot numbers and tagged loci is unclear at this point. For this purpose, we are currently determining the precise genomic location of the tagged loci and collecting the statistics of spot numbers for homozygous and heterozygous plants of line EL702C. Detection and relational mapping of tagged loci configuration As plants contain chloroplasts in leaf and stem cells and many autofluorescent compounds are localized in cell walls, a signal-to-background ratio for GFP detection is probably lower than in animal systems. Thus, higher levels of accumulation of GFP-LacI/NLS may be required to detect the loci in our system. Under this condition, we found that we could obtain spatial information for subnuclear structures with excess unbound GFP-LacI/NLS fusion proteins. The nuclear contour as well as the shape of the nucleolus, for which GFP-LacI/NLS has relatively low accessibility and which thus appears as an opaque object within the nucleus, can be captured along with the tagged loci positions by single channel excitation. A guard-cell nucleus from homozygous plants of line EL702C is shown (Figure 6). The data can be converted to a three-dimensional model shown for the detected spots (shown as red objects) and the nucleolus (shown as a blue object) within the nucleus (outline shown in green wire-frame) (Figure 6b). The distance between the three spots can also be easily determined with the existing program of our system (Figure 6c). Comparison of tagged loci between guard cells and root epidermal cells Plant organs are composed of ordered collections of various cell types that differ in their shape, size, function and DNA content. The positive correlation observed in most cells between cell volume and the degree of polyploidy indicates that the nuclear DNA content may have a key role in controlling cell growth [ 28]. In Arabidopsis , the ploidy level varies from 2C (guard cells, sepal and petal epidermal cells) to 64C (leaf trichomes) [ 29]. However, the mechanism of endocycle control in plants remains poorly understood. As an application of our chromatin-tagging system, we show here that cell-specific polyploidy can be observed directly with this technology without measuring nuclear DNA content. We used the homozygous plants of line EL702E, which contain a single tagged locus, for this experiment. GFP signals observed in a cotyledon guard cell (Figure 7a) and an elongated root epidermal cell (Figure 7b) of a 10-day-old seedling were compared using three-dimensional projections of their nuclei after Dex induction. In the guard cell, where the shape of its nucleus is usually flat or spherical, we often detected one spot, which suggests that the tagged site is frequently paired with its homolog. In contrast, in the elongated root epidermal cells where the nucleus usually elongates at the two opposite sides, we often detected multiple fluorescence spots (five spots for the root nucleus shown in Figure 7), which indicates the polyploid nature of the observed nuclei. Upon further refinement of this technology, one may be able to study the dynamics and regulation of endoreduplication in plant cells that contribute to cell-specific ploidy differences. Conclusions We have established transgenic plants that enable us to observe specific tagged genomic loci together with the nucleolar location in cells of a living plant without any fixation. Using this system, we have visualized GFP-tagged chromatin in different cell types in living Arabidopsis plants. GFP-tagged chromosome observation has been applied in several studies involving yeast, cultured animal cells and, more recently, transgenic Drosophila spermatocytes. These studies have revealed new principles of chromosome dynamics and organization. However, the relationship between chromatin structure and cell types and developmental stages is an important question that remains unanswered. The intact Arabidopsis seedlings that were used for microscopy under our conditions remain viable after transplanting to soil from the slides. Thus, it should be possible to monitor the same plants continuously for up to several weeks. In future, by marking individual cells with visual tags it should be possible to follow changes in nuclear shape as well as relative subnuclear position of the nucleolus and specific tagged genomic loci over long times-scales of the order of weeks. These types of studies may reveal new aspects of chromatin organization in relationship to developmental timing. Materials and methods Gene constructions LacI/NLS (nuclear localization signal from SV40 large T-antigen) [ 25] was fused to a plant-optimized GFP sequence, mGFP5 [ 24], and designated mGFP5-LacI/NLS . mGFP5-LacI/NLS was inserted into a glucocorticoid-inducible expression vector pTA7002 [ 23] and the resulting vector designated pEL700. lac operator array, LacOs (256-mer, 10.1 kb) [ 25] was then inserted into pEL700 and the resulting vector designated pEL702. Agrobacteriumbinary vector preparation and Southern blot analysis After the Agrobacterium culture (2 ml) was collected by centrifugation in a microfuge, the pellet was resuspended in a solution of 50 mM glucose, 25 mM Tris and 10 mM ethylene aminotetraacetic acid (pH8.0). Cell lysis solution (0.2 M sodium hydroxide and 1.0% (w/v) sodium dodecyl sulfate (SDS)), phenol and neutralization solution (3 M sodium acetate (pH5.2)) were then added to the resuspended cells in order, and the solution was vortexed for a few seconds. After centrifugation, the upper-phase solution was transferred to a new tube, and the DNA precipitated with ethanol. The DNA was dissolved in water and digested with Pst I, and the digested DNA was then separated in a 0.7% (w/v) agarose gel by electrophoresis. The DNA was transferred to a membrane (Zeta-probe GT genomic tested blotting membrane, Bio-Rad, CA) with 0.4 M sodium hydroxide after treatment with 0.25 N hydrochloric acid as suggested by the manufacturer. The membrane was prehybridized for 0.5 h at 65C, hybridized for 1 h at 65C with random primer-labeled lac operator concatamer (40 copies) probe in ExpressHyb hybridization solution (Clontech Laboratories, CA), and then washed at 60C in washing solution (0.1% (w/v) SDS, 15 mM sodium chloride, 1.5 mM sodium citrate). Transformation of Arabidopsis thalianaand Southern blot analysis Arabidopsis thaliana (ecotype Columbia) plants were transformed by dipping the influorescence of flowering plants into transformation solution (5% (w/v) sucrose and 0.05% (v/v) Silwet L-77) with Agrobacterium tumefaciens strain GV3101/MP90 transformed with pEL700 or pEL702. To transform A. thaliana with the Agrobacterium carrying pEL702, independent Agrobacterium colonies were first grown for 12 h in several different culture tubes with 2 ml culture medium. One milliliter from each of the cultures was allocated to measure the size of the LacOs . The LacOs size in Agrobacterium was analyzed by Southern blots with a probe of 40 copies of the lac operator. The cultures in which full-length or near full-length LacOs was found to be maintained were then increased to 500 ml and incubated at 28C for 12 h before use for Arabidopsis transformation. LacOs size and copy numbers were assayed by hybridization of two gene-specific probes separately to genomic DNA extracted from transgenic Arabidopsis . The first probe was a random primer-labeled 40 copies of the lac operator. The second was the random primer-labeled LacI/NLS . Membranes were prehybridized for 0.5 h at 65C, hybridized for 1 h at 65C in ExpressHyb hybridization solution and washed at 60C in washing solution. Western blot analysis Samples for western blot analysis were ground in liquid nitrogen. Extraction buffer (10%(v/v) glycerol, 10% (v/v) -mercaptoethanol, 5% (w/v) SDS) was added immediately to the samples. After 5 min incubation on ice, the mixture was centrifuged in a microfuge to remove insoluble material. Ten microliters of non-heated supernatant was used for western blot analysis and Coomassie Brilliant Blue (CBB) staining after SDS-polyacrylamide gel electrophoresis. Anti-GFP polyclonal antibodies (Clontech) were used at 1/5,000 dilution to detect mGFP5-LacI/NLS proteins. Protein amounts in each sample were qualitatively compared in CBB dye staining SDS-polyacrylamide gel and normalized before use for western blot analysis. Growth of Arabidopsis thaliana Surface-sterilized seeds were germinated on 0.5 MS agar plates (2.1 g/l Murashige and Skoog salts (Invitrogen, CA) and 0.7% bacto-agar, pH 6.0) containing 37 g/l of hygromycin for 2-3 weeks in a plant growth chamber with 15 h light and 9 h dark at 22C. Healthily growing plants were transplanted to the soil in small pots and grown until seeds were obtained in the plant growth chamber. Sample preparation for microscopy Surface-sterilized seeds were germinated on 0.5 MS agar plates. One- to two-week-old seedlings were transferred to fresh 0.5 MS agar plates and 40 l of a 0.3 M dexamethasone (Dex) solution was then dropped on each seedling. After 10-12 h, the seedlings were placed in between two coverslips with water. The coverslips were then placed on the microscope stage of our imaging set-up. When time course experiments were performed, 1- to 2-week-old seedlings were placed in Petri dishes (60 15 mm) and 10 ml water containing 30 M Dex was added. The dishes were slowly shaken until seedlings were collected. Three seedlings from each time point were collected for western blot analyses. Fluorescence microscopy A DeltaVision restoration microscope system (Applied Precision, WA) equipped with a TE200 microscope (Nikon) was used to observe nuclei in induced seedlings. Forty images at 0.2 m Z-steps were collected using a Nikon PlanApo 60, 1.2 N.A. water-immersion objective lens. The exposure times were 0.3-3 sec. The filters used are exciter: 436 nm/10 nm, emitter: 470 nm/30 nm and JP4 beamsplitter (Chroma, VT). When larger areas of root epidermal tissues were observed, a TE200 microscope equipped with a Nikon PlanFluor 20, 0.45 N.A. objective lens and a 3CCD camera (DEI-750, Optronics, CA) was used. Image processing The stacked images of nuclei were analyzed by softWoRx software (Applied Precision) on an Octane Workstation (Silicon Graphics, CA). The images were then processed by Adobe Photoshop 5.5 on a PowerMac G4 computer for the final images. Background The human sodium bicarbonate cotransporters (NBCs), along with the inorganic anion exchangers, comprise the SLC4A subfamily of proteins, a part of the solute carrier (SLC) superfamily. The coupled transport of Na +and HCO 3 -across the plasma membrane of epithelial cells is involved in the regulation of intracellular pH, intracompartmental pH, and intercompartmental pH gradients in many organ systems, as suggested by expression of NBCs in the kidney, pancreas, heart, retina, skeletal muscle and other organs [ 1, 2, 3]. Basolateral HCO 3 -cotransport is necessary for proper buffering of digestive enzymes secreted by the pancreas [ 4]. NBCs are also responsible for electrogenic transepithelial bicarbonate cotransport in kidney proximal tubules [ 4, 5]. Five human NBC transcripts ( SLC4A4-SLC4A8 ) have been previously cloned and mapped [ 1, 2, 3, 4, 6, 7, 8, 9]. Most recently, NBC4 [ 10] and SLC4A10 [ 11] have been cloned. We report the discovery and a genomic analysis of a sixth member of this family, SLC4A9 , a novel and alternatively spliced NBC-like gene expressed at high levels in normal adult kidney. We also present an in silico analysis of the genomic structure of NBC4 and evaluate conserved paralogous clustering of SLC4A genes with the members of the ankyrin, epidermal growth factor (EGF), and fibroblast growth factor (FGF) gene families in the human genome. Results Isolation and genomic structure of SLC4A9 As part of a positional cloning project, we became interested in a region of 5q31 between D5S393 and D5S2927. We annotated all draft and finished genomic sequence from this region using SeqHelp [ 12]. Presubmission contig h174.3 of bacterial artificial chromosome (EAC) clone CTC-329D1 (now GenBank AC008438) included four regions of high translated sequence similarity with known mammalian NBCs. GeneFinder, Genie and GRAIL 1.3 predicted exons throughout the contig, including, but not limited to, the regions of NBC homology. We named the gene with the HUGO-approved symbol SLC4A9. It is currently represented by ten kidney clones and one testis clone from the IMAGE consortium (Unigene: Hs.166669). Two expressed sequence tag (EST) clones (IMAGE: 1734773 and 1533693) were sequenced to completion, yielding a 1,036 base pair (bp) cDNA contig. The ESTs were later found to cover exons 15-18 and 20B-D (1734773) and 20C-E (1533693) of SLC4A9 when exons are numbered as in Figure 1. The assembled cDNA sequence matched an NBC-like portion of 329D1 and additional new sequence elsewhere on the genomic contig. The presumptive gap in the draft was closed by designing primers c67F and c67R from confirmed sequence and sequencing an approximately 1.8 kilobase (kb) PCR fragment from genomic DNA. The resulting 30,161-bp contig included known sequence from two pieces of 329D1, as well as 659 bp of new sequence. Putative exons on the 12-kb h174.3 contig were defined by a consensus of multiple-algorithm exon predictions, NBC homologies, and IMAGE clone coverage. Primers were designed from flanking intronic sequences. Exons and adjoining splice sites were amplified by PCR from genomic DNA. Snonymous coding sequence polymorphisms 111046 CT and 115744 CT and intronic single-nucleotide polymorphism (SNP) 107724 AT were identified (all 329D1 sequence coordinates refer to positions on GenBank AC008438.1, GI no. 5686628). To extend the known 5' portion of the gene's coding sequence, an adult human kidney library (Clontech, cat. no. HL5031t) and a TriplEx2 long-insert fetal brain cDNA library (Clontech, cat. no. HL5504u) were probed with the two IMAGE clones. The libraries were also amplified with primers 5-LDA and oi-E (Table 1). Figure 1illustrates the genomic structure and splicing variation of SLC4A9 . SLC4A9 exon sizes vary from 56 bp (exon 4) to 263 bp (exon 9). Intron phase is distributed quite randomly in the 5' half of the sequence, although toward the 3' end of the gene, phase o introns become prevalent. The SNP in exon 10A is immediately adjacent to an alternatively used 5' splice site, but no correlation between the presence of exon 10B in cDNA clones and C or T at nucleotide 111,046 was observed. All introns conform to the GT-AG rule. Cloning the 5' end of the SLC4A9transcript Two observations suggested to us that none of the known SLC4A9 mRNA isoforms is full length: the open reading frames (ORFs) of all the isoforms start at the very first or second base at the 5' end of the clones, and the complete inserts of the clones are 3.6 kb, whereas the SLC4A9 transcripts on northern blots are 4.3 and 6.0 kb (Figure 2). We therefore undertook a comprehensive effort to find the 5' end of SLC4A9 . The lack of full-length clones in the Clontech adult kidney cDNA library was not surprising, because the library was dT-primed and mostly contained inserts of under 3.8 kb in length (manufacturer's data). Therefore, we used PCR-based approaches to determine the sequence of the 5' end of the mRNA. Nested RACE-PCR (rapid amplification of cDNA ends with PCR) on Marathon kidney cDNA (Clontech) with four different primer combinations (three within known exons and one within a GeneFinder-predicted exon 5' of exon 1) and appropriate nested adaptor primers produced smears and multiple bands over several attempts. Analysis of the RACE products by sequencing the gel-extracted bands and random TA clones revealed 100% mispriming, even though the gene-specific RACE primers did not have any homologies to non- SLC4A9 human sequence. The sequenced TA clones most frequently corresponded to mitochondrial DNA sequences and to the FBN2 gene, which coincidentally maps to 5q23 centromeric of SLC4A9 . In addition to RACE on the Marathon cDNA, we used the Advantage 2 PCR technique (Clontech) on undiluted aliquots of the kidney and fetal brain long-insert phage libraries multiple times with all possible primer combinations of one vector primer (either forward or reverse) and one appropriately oriented gene-specific primer. All gene-specific RACE primers and all internal sequencing primers used during the determination of the complete sequences of the IMAGE clones were tried, one by one. With the exception of the three TA clones obtained with the oi-E primer, all such experiments resulted in 100% mispriming. This result was identical to that obtained when both gene-specific and random-primed reverse transcription, followed by RACE with the same multiple gene-specific primers as above, were performed on a non-Clontech sample of total RNA freshly extracted from a kidney biopsy. In summary, we have been unable to obtain a full-length SLC4A9 transcript with current commercial RACE and RT-PCR (reverse transcription-PCR) protocols. The 5'-adjoining region of SLC4A9on 5q31 Despite the failure of experimental attempts to characterize the 5' end of SLC4A9, in silico analyses of the region expected to contain this portion of the gene have been informative. The gene immediately centromeric to, and 12,840 bp from, SLC4A9 is HEGFL, which encodes a heparin-binding member of the EGF family. Genomic DNA sequence between the 5' end of HEGFL and exon 1 of SLC4A9 provides some clues as to the structure of the 5' end of SLC4A9. A putative promoter on the SLC4A9 -encoding strand was predicted by the Lawrence Berkeley Laboratories (LBL) neural network promoter prediction algorithm [ 13], with a score of 1.0 at bp 129,291-129,242 of AC008438.1. This sequence has been shown to have promoter activity [ 14] on the strand opposite to the coding strand of SLC4A9. As HEGFL and SLC4A9 are transcribed in opposite orientations and have 5' ends facing each other, the promoter may be bidirectional. Four possible exons are predicted 5' of SLC4A9 by GeneFinder. However, neither protein homologies nor consensus Kozak sequences are seen in the region. SLC4A9expression, ortholog comparison and protein sequence analysis Northern blot analysis reveals that expression of SLC4A9 is extremely restricted (Figure 2). Transcripts of 4.3 and 6.0 kb are seen at high levels in kidney but not in any other tissues tested. This is consistent with the kidney origin of 10 of the 11 public ESTs corresponding to SLC4A9. The consistently smeary background, observed regardless of the probe and hybridization stringency, may be due to the presence of low levels of alternatively spliced SLC4A9 mRNA variants. While this manuscript was undergoing revision, the first mammalian SLC4A9 ortholog, that in the rabbit, was published [ 15]. The rabbit gene encodes a sodium-independent anion exchanger; this underscores the importance of not assigning functions to NBC-like genes in the absence of experimental evidence. Similarly to human SLC4A9, the rabbit gene is alternatively spliced. Both the RACE-verified complete rabbit cDNA and our incomplete human cDNA are approximately 3.2 kb long. In rabbit this is, however, consistent with the size of the major transcript on the northern blots, and no transcripts over 3.8 kb are seen. In human, the known cDNA size is much less than the 4.3-kb and 6.0-kb signals on the northern blots. In the absence of major differences in coding sequence, this strongly suggests rapid evolution of species-specific 5' and 3'-untranslated regions (UTRs), which are longer in the human gene. Table 2summarizes the properties of six human NBC and NBC-like genes. NBC4 and HNBC7 were discovered during our in silico annotation of genomic sequences. NBC4 has since been described in detail [ 10]. SLC4A9 has the most restricted expression pattern, evidenced by high tissue specificity and low dbEST representation. The amino-acid sequence of the 990 amino acid SLC4A9 inferred from the major splice isoform was subjected to secondary structure and hydropathy analysis by TMPRED [ 16]. Consistent with the results for NBC4 [ 10], SLC4A9 is predicted to be a 12-transmembrane protein with a relatively long (amino acids 1-265) cytoplasmic amino terminus and a shorter, also cytoplasmic, carboxyl terminus (amino acids 929-990). NetPhos v.2.0 [ 17] predicted several serine and threonine phosphorylation sites. The relative lengths of the cytoplasmic domains and the distribution of phosphorylation sites were strikingly similar to those observed for NBC4 [ 10]. The predicted transmembrane segments and phosphorylation sites are indicated in Figure 3. The predicted SLC4A9 protein aligns both to human (Figure 3) and rat (data not shown) NBCs. SLC4A9 is most similar to SLC4A4 (49% identity) and SLC4A6 (48%), followed by NBC4 (44%) and SLC4A8 (43%). The exact extent of protein sequence similarity of HNBC7 to SLC4A9 cannot be determined since too little HNBC7 sequence can be inferred. SLC4A9as a part of an ancient, multiply duplicated EGF-SLC4A-ANK-FGF gene cluster To identify gene clusters containing NBC-like SLC4A genes, we consolidated information from human radiation hybrid (RH) maps and the GSS and HTGS databases for seven SLC4A NBCs, 19 FGF family members, and 10 EGF family members [ 18]. The electronic mapping strategy involved anchoring genomic sequences that matched each gene to the GB4 RH map via RH-mapped sequence-tagged sites (STSs) or gene-based markers. The possibility that ankyrins might also be a part of this cluster was suggested by the presence of a novel ankyrin gene, ANKfc (from fetal cochlea), less than 100 kb distal to SLC4A9 on 5q31. We were able to determine map positions for all five SLC4A, all four ANK, 9 of 10 EGF, and 17 of 19 FGF family members. All cases where members of at least two of the four families cluster are shown in Figure 4. We used SLC4A family members to test the hypothesis that the origin and repeated duplication of the EGF-FGF cluster predated the human-mouse divergence. Four of the seven known SLC4A genes were found near either an EGF gene or an FGF gene, or both. The genomic location of EGF and FGF family members on human chromosome 5q conforms to the syntenic relationship with mouse chromosome 18 [ 19]. Ten human genes belong to the EGF family [ 18]. HEGFL on 5q31, EGF on 4q25, TGFA (transforming growth factor ) on 2p13, and AREG (amphiregulin), EREG (epiregulin), and BTC (betacellulin) on 4q13-q21 are EGF paralogs. TDGF1 (teratocarcinoma-derived growth factor), approximately 20.5 megabases (Mb) proximal to SLC4A7 on 3p22, shares structural similarities with TGFA [ 20]. Distance approximations are based on the sum of draft clone lengths and estimated gap sizes obtained from the Draft Human Genome Browser [ 21]. Three neuregulin genes ( NRG1-3 ) are also in the EGF family [ 18]. All these genes have orthologs in the mouse, suggesting that multiple duplications of an ancestral EGF-like gene predated the mouse-human divergence. Nineteen known loci encode members of the FGF family, of which at least five map near EGF paralogs: FGF1 on 5q31 (approximately 1.5 Mb distal of HEGFL ), FGF2 on 4q25 (approximately 14.7 Mb distal to EGF ), FGF8 on 10q25 (cytogenetically close to NRG3 ), FGF17 on 8p21 (approximately 11.0 Mb distal to HGL ), and FGF5 on 4q21 (approximately 5.0 Mb from BTC ). Mouse genes Btc and Fgf5 are located close to each other in the region of mouse chromosome 5 syntenic to human 4q13-q21. The cluster size in the mouse is unknown because of the lack of sequence data. As expected, a novel NBC-like gene [ 10] is located at 2p11-12 proximal to TGFA. The distance between the two genes is approximately 4.0 Mb. The protein sequence of NBC4 is similar to that of SLC4A9 (see Figure 3), but the genomic structures of the two genes differ. Exon boundaries are only partly conserved, and NBC4 includes an intron of 20.5 kb, longer than the genomic sequence containing exons 1-20 of SLC4A9 . Portions of the NBC4 mRNA are completely identical to the expressed regions of two human genes on 2p13: DCTN1 (dynactin, a homolog of the Drosophila p150Glued gene) and MTHFD2 (methylene tetrahydrofolate dehydrogenase) (Figure 5). Specifically, the 5'-UTR of NBC4 matches 1,646 nucleotides of coding sequence and 87 nucleotides of the 3'-UTR of DCTN1, and the 3' UTR of NBC4 matches 92 nucleotides of coding sequence and 75 nucleotides of the 3'-UTR of the published MTHFD2 sequence. In addition, a 241 nucleotide overlap of NBC4 and MTHFD2 ESTs in the antisense orientation is inferred from annotation of GenBank AC073263. These ESTs correspond to alternate, extended 3'-UTR forms of the two genes, which are different from the 3'-UTRs of the published full-length mRNAs. We used public genomic resources to determine whether chromosomal locations of genes from any one of the four families (EGF, SLC4A, ANK and FGF) can be used to predict the genomic location of novel members of the remaining families. Ankyrins mapped near several known EGF ligand and/or FGF genes (Figure 4). In particular, on chromosome 4q25, ANK2 is located between EGF and FGF2, and EGF is proximal to FGF2; this gene ordering is supported both by the Human BAC Accession Map [ 22] and direct HTGS-to-GB4 RH mapping. It was therefore not surprising to discover a novel ankyrin, ANKfc, immediately distal to SLC4A9, and thus distal to the EGF paralog HEGFL, on 5q31. Searching the HTGS database with human NBC and NBC-like cDNA queries yielded draft-phase genomic sequences (AL139426, AC018411, AC064816) similar to some, but identical to none, of the five HNBC genes described above (Table 2). NBC-homologous exons from these sequences were combined with Unigene cluster Hs.211115 to predict yet another novel sodium bicarbonate cotransporter-like gene, HNBC7. This gene maps to 1p31-32, where no EGF-FGF cluster is currently known to exist. Similarly, SLC4A8 is at 12q13, where no EGF-FGF cluster is yet known. To test our hypothesis that the dispersed paralogous gene clusters are a product of multiple ancient duplications, we conducted a phylogenetic analysis of the EGF, SLC4A, and FGF genes we believe to fall in the clusters, along with their non-human orthologs. Neighbor-joining and maximum parsimony methods were used to construct phylogenetic trees for each of the gene families (Figure 6a-c). This enabled us to infer the most likely history of the cluster duplications (Figure 6d). Two irregularities in Figure 6dare interesting from the standpoint of genomic history of duplicated genes. NRG2 at 5q31 is phylogenetically closer to the 8p gene NRG1 than to any other EGF gene, yet that relationship makes little sense if the duplication giving rise to clusters at 4q13 and 5q13 is far more ancient than that giving rise to the 8p and l0q clusters, as the EGF and FGF data suggest. The location of NRG2 at 5q31 is therefore noteworthy because only single members of the other families are present there and because NRG2 is phylogenetically very distant from the 5q EGF gene ( HBEGF ), making either multigene or single-gene tandem duplications within 5q highly unlikely. This product of a very recent duplication involving the 8p NRG1 gene may have been deposited at 5q31 as a random insertion of a newly duplicated gene away from its ancestral locus, in a process similar to that which deposited some SLC4A genes outside of their ancestral paralogous clusters. In addition, the history of the 2p cluster is somewhat obscure, as the 2p EGF gene is closest to the EGF gene at 4q27, whereas the 2p SLC4A gene is closest to the SLC4A at 4q13 (as no SLC4A gene is currently known to exist at 4q27). With the exception of these irregularities, the duplication history in Figure 6dis very well supported by the gene family trees in Figure 6a-cand the full PHYLIP trees (data not shown). Discussion Alternative splicing of SLC4A9 The existence of multiple cDNA sequences as a result of alternative splicing is the most interesting feature of SLC4A9. Most SLC4A9 alternative splicing is accounted for by the selective inclusion or exclusion of portions of exons 8, 10, 11, 19 and 20. In contrast to these alternatively spliced portions of the gene, the use of exons 4-7, 9 and 12-17 appears to be a constant feature of the various isoforms. No splice variation is observed for these exons in any cDNA clones or dbEST entries examined, with the exception of the fetal brain clone, in which exon 12 contains extra sequence from the 5'-adjoining intron. All intron-exon junctions of SLC4A9 feature consensus splice site sequences. Therefore, alternative splicing of SLC4A9 is not consistent with the hypothesis that weak or nonconsensus splice sites lead to intron retention or alternative splicing. Instead, yet-undetermined cis -acting intronic sequences may be responsible. The recurrent noncoding SLC4A9 transcripts may escape the normal mechanisms of nonsense decay [ 23] responsible for degradation of incorrectly spliced mRNAs with disrupted ORFs. Of all alternative splicing in humans, only 20% occurs within coding regions [ 24]. SLC4A9 may be a member of a class of genes characterized by highly variant and inefficient splicing, a class first suggested by a comparison of ESTs to genomic sequences [ 25]. The high degree of alternative splicing of SLC4A9 may be the result of inefficient spliceosomal processing. One possible outcome of such inefficiency, IMAGE clone 2130425, is not included in the 14 isoforms on Figure 1. This nonlinearly spliced clone includes unique exons dissimilar to any exons of any other SLC4A9 cDNAs. A unique fragment in the exon 10-11 region is followed by a correctly spliced exon 11B and a part of exon 12, which splices backwards from a unique donor site to a unique partial version of exon 9, and continues directly to a unique fragment of exon 20, terminating at the common late polyadenylation signal. The 3'-UTR of SLC4A9 is fragmented into six alternatively spliced exons, of which no more than two appear to be used per isoform and four harbor polyadenylation signals within expressed repetitive elements. Two alternate 3'-terminal untranslated exons of SLC4A9 , exons 21 and 23, consist entirely of repetitive elements, except for a 10-nucleotide spacer in exon 23. The two polyadenylation sites within exon 20 are used at roughly equal frequencies, both in experimentally derived clones and public EST sequences corresponding to SLC4A9. Alternative polyadenylation is observed in fewer than 29% of human genes, based on an analysis of 8,700 human 3'-UTRs [ 26]. The structurally invariant carboxy-terminal 591 amino acids of SLC4A9 include the 12 transmembrane domains characteristic of sodium bicarbonate transporters. The alternatively spliced amino-terminal portion of SLC4A9 contains hydrophilic domains of unknown function. It is possible that alternative splicing of these domains leads to different spatial or electrochemical specificity. For example, in chick cochlea, different transcripts produced by alternative splicing of the SLO gene (homolog of Drosophila slowpoke ) generate kinetically distinct calcium-activated potassium channels [ 27]. It is therefore tempting to speculate that proteins encoded by the alternative SLC4A9 transcripts might differ in stoichiometry or in the minimum voltage potential threshold required to activate cotransporter function. SLC4A9 protein sequence: comparison to paralogous genes Four large blocks of highly conserved amino acid sequence characterize all known HNBCs (Figure 3). They correspond to SLC4A9 amino acid positions 68-210, 223-352, 384-578 and 629-960. At both ends of blocks 68-210 and 629-960, at the carboxy-terminal end of block 384-578, and throughout block 223-352, SLC4A9 has significant sequence differences from most or all of the paralogs. Non-SLC4A9 proteins in the alignment have considerably greater homology between themselves in the equivalent regions than they do with SLC4A9. The exon 8 and exon 10-11 hypervariably spliced regions correspond to SLC4A9 amino acid positions 353-494 and 583-702, respectively. It is intriguing that short amino-terminal portions of both of these regions (amino acids 353-383 and amino acids 583-631) are located in areas where the sequences of the paralogs are quite diverged. Extensive alternative splicing in these areas has not been reported for the other paralogs. Alternately used exon 10d contains an almost perfect 41 nucleotide polypyrimidine tract. This region consists exclusively of Cs and Ts, except for the A at position 110,655 of AC008438.1. It codes for FFSLLLFLTSFFF, a highly hydrophobic stretch predicted by TMPRED to be within the sixth transmembrane domain of the protein. Exon 10D is absent from three SLC4A9 cDNA isoforms (Figure 1) whose ORFs are not disrupted except for the deletion of the 53 amino acids corresponding to this fragment. TMPRED analysis suggests that absence of exon 10D abrogates the sixth transmembrane domain but does not affect the 11 remaining transmembrane segments. Consequently, isoforms lacking exon 10D would be predicted to have an extracellular carboxyl terminus. The biological viability and function, if any, of such a protein cannot be known without biochemical analyses. However, the extracellular exposition of the normally hidden carboxyl terminus might be relevant to autoimmunity. Dispersed paralogous gene clusters containing SLC4Agenes Four human SLC4A genes are each included in a conserved gene cluster (Figure 4). On 5q31, SLC4A9 is located between genes encoding HEGFL and FGF1 (Figure 4). The murine orthologs of HEGFL and FGF1 are in close proximity on mouse chromosome 18, suggesting that an as-yet-undescribed mouse ortholog of SLC4A9 may be located in the same region. This putative mouse ortholog of SLC4A9 , partly contained in the BAC clone RG-MBAC_173P21 (GenBank AC027276), has 82-96% similarity to the human gene over 1897 nucleotides. Almost all exon boundaries are conserved between the coding portions of the mouse gene and SLC4A9 isoform I. However, exon 4 of human SLC4A9 does not appear in mouse. Novel human SLC4A9 paralogs may be predicted on the basis of the genomic locations of the EGF-FGF clusters. The clusters in Figure 4that contain the members of at least two of the other three gene families may also contain yet-uncharacterized SLC4A genes. Only a deeper sequence coverage of human EST libraries and draft genomic sequences will help determine if this hypothesis is correct. Ancient conserved paralogous clusters involving multiple functionally unrelated genes have been previously suggested to exist in the human genome [ 28, 29, 30]. However, the existence of some SLC4A genes outside conserved clusters suggests that intra-cluster rearrangements may have led to the expulsion of these genes from the conserved clusters. Yet other SLC4A duplication mechanisms may have complemented both the cluster duplication and the subsequent rearrangements. Genomic implications of SLC4A9splicing and structure The genomic structure of SLC4A9 raises intriguing questions. What properties are unique to tissue-specific, repeat-expressing, alternatively spliced genes? Are introns containing repetitive elements spliced out more efficiently than introns without repeats, as appears to be the case for SLC4A9 ? What spliceosomal properties are responsible for frequent unconventional processing, in this case of four exons (8, 10, 11 and 20)? How did the repetitive elements 3' of the coding region become incorporated into the splicing framework of the gene? SLC4A9 is a case study in the complexities of splicing. To identify such complexities, automated computational approaches to analyzing the structures of novel genes will have to incorporate full-length sequences of multiple long-insert cDNA clones. It is not known how many riddles similar to SLC4A9 there will be in the complete human genome sequence. Their very existence suggests, however, that individually characterizing and understanding numerous unconventional genes will be a major challenge. Materials and methods PCR-based screening of cDNA libraries PCR with the Advantage 2 Polymerase Mix was performed in 50-l volumes. Undiluted library lysate (1.0 l to 5.0 l) was used as template. PCR conditions were as suggested by the manufacturer (Clontech). The vector-specific 5-LDA or 3-LDA primers were the forward primers, and the 5'-directed primers oi-E, 6797up, and 5219up (see Table 1for complete primer listing), designed from the 5'-most known part of the cDNA, were the reverse primers. Because of the lack of a priori knowledge about the anticipated size of SLC4A9 PCR products, if any, in the product mixture, TA cloning with the Original TA Cloning Kit and INVaF' host (Invitrogen) was performed directly on fresh unpurified total PCR products. Each unique TA clone (defined by a combination of Unigene F/R PCR product length and HinfIII restriction digest pattern) was amplified with the Unigene primers and sequenced. Hybridization screening of cDNA libraries A 345-bp portion in the 5' end of the insert of TA clone 3LD-oiE.TA.6 was amplified with primers 345F and 345R, gel-purified, 32P-labeled, and used to probe first-round filters of the adult kidney cDNA library in TripleX. The filters were prehybridized for 1.5 h, hybridized overnight at 62.5C, washed, and exposed to Biomax MR film (Kodak) for 18-72 h at -80C. Cored plaques corresponding to positive clones were subjected to PCR as described below. For clones consistently yielding a smear or multiple bands, in vivo excision of the TripleX insert into a pTripleX plasmid (using the Cre-Lox system in a BM25.8 recombinase-expressing host) was conducted and plasmid minipreps (Qiagen Spin Plasmid Kit) were obtained for PCR and sequencing. PCR on phage clones PCR with the Advantage 2 Polymerase Mix was performed in 50-l volumes, using primer pairs 5-LDA/345R or 345F/3-LDA to amplify the entire insert as two overlapping products. DNA sequencing All sequencing except SNP detection, which is detailed below, was done with the BigDye terminator sequencing kit (PE Biosystems, Foster City, CA) using LongRanger premixed gels (FMC/BioWhittaker) on an Applied Biosystems 377-XL96 DNA sequencer. SNP discovery M13-21F and M13-28R-tagged primers were designed from intronic sequence to amplify every consensus exon of SLC4A9 plus at least 50 bp of the flanking introns. After Sephacryl HR-500 purification, amplicons were sequenced using the BigDye primer sequencing kit (PE Biosystems). SNPs were operationally defined as dual-color peaks half the height of the surrounding peaks, reproducible twice in both sequencing directions. Northern blotting SLC4A9 expression was first assayed by hybridization of two gene-specific probes, separately, to Clontech MTN blots I, II and III. The first probe was a mixture of the gel-purified, PCR-amplified inserts of IMAGE clones 1533693 and 1734773. The second was the 345F-345R PCR fragment of TA clone 3LD-oiE.TA.6. For Figure 2, membranes were prehybridized for 1 h and hybridized for 4 h at 62.5C in QuikHyb solution (Stratagene). Positive control hybridization of a human -actin cDNA probe (Clontech) to MTN 1 and 2 (Figure 2) confirmed the uniform loading of mRNA in each lane. Sequence analysis WU-BLAST [ 31] at EBI [ 32] and BLAST 2.0 [ 31] at NCBI [ 33] were used to search public databases. Other NCBI resources, in particular Pairwise BLAST, Entrez, MapView, and GeneMap '99, were used for the retrieval and analysis of sequence and map information pertaining to the genes whose structures and map positions are discussed in this report. SeqHelp 1.0b [ 12] was used for all sequence annotation. Protein feature display and alignments for Figure 3, and sequence preparation for Figures 1and 5, were performed with Vector NTI Suite 5.5 (Informax Inc). Phylogenetic analysis The longest complete protein sequence was retrieved from GenPept (NCBI) for each human gene included in the analysis. The BLink feature of GenPept was then used to find nonhuman orthologs of each human EGF, SLC4A and FGF gene under consideration, and their longest sequences were retrieved as well. Sequences were first autoaligned using the AlignX feature of Vector NTI Suite 5.5. Each alignment was manually edited to eliminate divergent amino and carboxy termini and orphan-exon insertions, and to maximize the number of identical and highly conserved consensus positions. The manually edited alignments were exported to PHYLIP for distance calculation and tree construction. Additional data files Additional data files available with the online version of this article include: For the EGF family: Alignment Additional data file 1 Alignment Alignment. Click here for file Uncorrected p unbootstrapped neighbor-joining tree Additional data file 2 Uncorrected p unbootstrapped neighbor-joining tree Uncorrected p unbootstrapped neighbor-joining tree. Click here for file Gamma-corrected unbootstrapped neighbor-joining tree Additional data file 4 Gamma-corrected unbootstrapped neighbor-joining tree Gamma-corrected unbootstrapped neighbor-joining tree. Click here for file Poisson-corrected unbootstrapped neighbor-joining tree Additional data file 4 Poisson-corrected unbootstrapped neighbor-joining tree Poisson-corrected unbootstrapped neighbor-joining tree. Click here for file Unbootstrapped maximum parsimony tree Additional data file 5 Unbootstrapped maximum parsimony tree Unbootstrapped maximum parsimony tree. Click here for file Uncorrected p bootstrapped neighbor-joining tree Additional data file 6 Uncorrected p bootstrapped neighbor-joining tree Uncorrected p bootstrapped neighbor-joining tree. Click here for file Gamma-corrected bootstrapped neighbor-joining tree Additional data file 7 Gamma-corrected bootstrapped neighbor-joining tree Gamma-corrected bootstrapped neighbor-joining tree. Click here for file Poisson-corrected bootstrapped neighbor-joining tree Additional data file 8 Poisson-corrected bootstrapped neighbor-joining tree Poisson-corrected bootstrapped neighbor-joining tree. Click here for file Bootstrapped maximum parsimony tree Additional data file 9 Bootstrapped maximum parsimony tree Bootstrapped maximum parsimony tree. Click here for file For the FGF family: Alignment Additional data file 10 Alignment Alignment. Click here for file Uncorrected p unbootstrapped neighbor-joining tree Additional data file 11 Uncorrected p unbootstrapped neighbor-joining tree Uncorrected p unbootstrapped neighbor-joining tree. Click here for file Gamma-corrected unbootstrapped neighbor-joining tree Additional data file 12 Gamma-corrected unbootstrapped neighbor-joining tree Gamma-corrected unbootstrapped neighbor-joining tree. Click here for file Poisson-corrected unbootstrapped neighbor-joining tree Additional data file 13 Poisson-corrected unbootstrapped neighbor-joining tree Poisson-corrected unbootstrapped neighbor-joining tree. Click here for file Unbootstrapped maximum parsimony tree Additional data file 14 Unbootstrapped maximum parsimony tree Unbootstrapped maximum parsimony tree. Click here for file Uncorrected p bootstrapped neighbor-joining tree Additional data file 15 Uncorrected p bootstrapped neighbor-joining tree Uncorrected p bootstrapped neighbor-joining tree. Click here for file Gamma-corrected bootstrapped neighbor-joining tree Additional data file 16 Gamma-corrected bootstrapped neighbor-joining tree Gamma-corrected bootstrapped neighbor-joining tree. Click here for file Poisson-corrected bootstrapped neighbor-joining tree Additional data file 17 Poisson-corrected bootstrapped neighbor-joining tree Poisson-corrected bootstrapped neighbor-joining tree. Click here for file Bootstrapped maximum parsimony tree Additional data file 18 Bootstrapped maximum parsimony tree Bootstrapped maximum parsimony tree. Click here for file For the SLC4A family: Alignment Additional data file 19 Alignment Alignment. Click here for file Uncorrected p unbootstrapped neighbor-joining tree Additional data file 20 Uncorrected p unbootstrapped neighbor-joining tree Uncorrected p unbootstrapped neighbor-joining tree. Click here for file Gamma-corrected unbootstrapped neighbor-joining tree Additional data file 21 Gamma-corrected unbootstrapped neighbor-joining tree Gamma-corrected unbootstrapped neighbor-joining tree. Click here for file Poisson-corrected unbootstrapped neighbor-joining tree Additional data file 22 Poisson-corrected unbootstrapped neighbor-joining tree Poisson-corrected unbootstrapped neighbor-joining tree. Click here for file Unbootstrapped maximum parsimony tree Additional data file 23 Unbootstrapped maximum parsimony tree Unbootstrapped maximum parsimony tree. Click here for file Uncorrected p bootstrapped neighbor-joining tree Additional data file 24 Uncorrected p bootstrapped neighbor-joining tree Uncorrected p bootstrapped neighbor-joining tree. Click here for file Gamma-corrected bootstrapped neighbor-joining tree Additional data file 25 Gamma-corrected bootstrapped neighbor-joining tree Gamma-corrected bootstrapped neighbor-joining tree. Click here for file Poisson-corrected bootstrapped neighbor-joining tree Additional data file 26 Poisson-corrected bootstrapped neighbor-joining tree Poisson-corrected bootstrapped neighbor-joining tree. Click here for file Bootstrapped maximum parsimony tree Additional data file 27 Bootstrapped maximum parsimony tree Bootstrapped maximum parsimony tree. Click here for file Background Genome-wide structural analyses in terms of patterns of protein folding have been useful in revealing functional and evolutionary relationships [ 1, 2, 3, 4]. Given the abundance of membrane proteins, it would be highly desirable to have a similar analysis for this major category of structures; however, the number of known membrane protein structures remains small. Here we exploit the fact that membrane proteins can be classified into families on the basis of sequence similarities and topology, and use the family groupings to analyze genomic characteristics of membrane protein families. Most transmembrane proteins are formed from bundles of helices that traverse the membrane lipid bilayer. It is estimated that 20-30% of the proteins in known genomes are of this type [ 3, 4, 5, 6]. The most general description of the transmembrane helical regions (TMs) is that they comprise a region of 18 or more amino acids with a largely hydrophobic character. This sequence feature can be identified in primary sequences using hydrophobicity scales [ 7, 8, 9]. The most abundant amino acids in transmembrane regions are leucine, isoleucine, valine, phenylalanine, alanine, glycine, serine, and threonine. Taken together, these amino acids account for 75% of the amino acids in transmembrane regions [ 10, 11, 12]. Analysis of the distribution of amino acids has revealed patterns in TM regions, for example GxxxG, which are thought to be important in helix-helix interactions [ 11, 12, 13, 14]. We took advantage of the classification of protein domains provided by others (Pfam-A and Pfam-B) [ 15], to identify families that appear to be polytopic membrane proteins, and augmented these lists with additional family members based on amino-acid sequence comparisons. Furthermore, we identified additional families on the basis of clustering of amino-acid sequences, resulting in 637 distinct families. We used these families to analyze amino-acid compositions in the helical regions, pair motifs, domain structures, and patterns of families, and arrive at a number of generalizations. Among these are that glycine, tyrosine, and proline appear frequently in conserved locations within family transmembrane helices and that the specific pair motifs are found in families that seem to be transporters, symporters, and channels. The number of kinds of domains and families seems to increase with the number of open reading frames (ORFs) in most genomes. Here we present our analysis and discuss these findings. Results Classification of polytopic membrane protein domains The procedure used to classify polytopic membrane domains is based mainly on family classification schemes (Pfam-A and Pfam-B) and is shown in Figure 1a. We identified families of polytopic membrane domains in Pfam [ 15] by allocating TM-helices annotated in SWISS-PROT [ 16] to proteins in Pfam. After conservatively picking 183 Pfam-A and 152 Pfam-B families, we conducted an analysis of loops that connect TM-helices. It was shown that the loops tend to be short, with most of them (> 95%) having fewer than 80 amino acids. We therefore took 80 residues as the maximal intra-domain loop between TM-helices to define polytopic membrane domains. Though the 80-residue cutoff may not apply to a small portion (around 5%) of integral membrane proteins, it diminished the chance of including soluble domains within membrane domains, given that the average soluble domain has about 170 residues [ 17]. Using TMHMM, a membrane protein prediction program based on a hidden Markov model [ 6], TM-helices of membrane proteins in 26 genomes were predicted. Polytopic membrane domains were identified using the loop size between TM-helices as a guide. These domains were then classified into 231 Pfam-A and 318 Pfam-B families either by direct SWISS-PROT ID matching or by sequence similarity matching using FASTA [ 18]. Of the aligned domains, most of their TM-helices also aligned well, especially in Pfam-A families, which have alignments based on manually crafted hidden Markov models. Unclassified domains were clustered into 121 families by their sequence similarities. For each family, a profile was constructed, as shown in Figure 1b. This included: an averaged hydrophobicity plot of all members in the family based on the Goldman-Engelman-Steitz (GES) scale [ 8]; a consensus sequence of the family, represented by a sequence logo plot [ 19]; and consensus sequences of the TM-helices. By analyzing the hydrophobicity plots, we can locate TM-helices in the aligned sequences in protein families, and assign a number of TM-helices to each family. Some families, including 3 in Pfam-A and 20 in Pfam-B, were eliminated at this step, owing to the ambiguity of TM-helices observed in the plot. From this process, we identified 228 Pfam-A, 298 Pfam-B and 121 clustered families for our analyses, with approximately 95% domains classified in Pfam families. Analysis of the number of TM-helices in Pfam-A families of polytopic membrane domains After assigning a number of TM-helices to each family, we conducted a survey of the assigned numbers of TM-helices in 228 Pfam-A families of polytopic membrane domains (Figure 2). Pfam-A families are manually classified families that have well-aligned protein domains, and most of them have a well-defined number for TM-helices. We also picked families in solute transport systems that are annotated as transporters, symporters and channels, and analyzed the number of TM-helices for these families (Figure 2). In general, most Pfam-A families tend to have a small number of TM-helices. For those with seven or fewer TM-helices, the number of families does not vary significantly with helix number, although there are more families with two or four TM-helices than with three, five, six, or seven. For families with more than seven TM-helices, the number of families decreases sharply as the number of TM-helices increases. Families with 12 TM-helices are the exception, however; they have a small peak in numbers against the overall downward slope of the plot. We also carried out the same kind of analysis on Pfam-A families that are annotated as transporters, symporters, and channels, and found that 12-TM-helix families are preferred by transporter-like families. In addition, most (11 out of 12) Pfam-A families with 12 TM-helices are transporter-like families. There seems to be a tendency for the transporter-like families to have an even number of TM-helices, because families with 2, 4, 6, 8, and 12 TM-helices have a relatively higher occurrence than those with a neighboring odd number of TM-helices. Analysis of amino-acid distribution and pair motifs We selected 168 families from Pfam-A that had more than 20 members. For each of these families, we then generated consensus sequences with conservation value (R sequence ) using the Alpro program [ 19]. Relatively conserved amino acids in the consensus sequences (R sequence value > 3.0, representing the top 15% R sequence value of all amino acids) and in TM-helical regions were analyzed for their composition as well as for pair motifs. We compared the amino-acid composition of the TM-helices in general with the composition of only the conserved positions in TM-helices in the 168 families (Figure 3). We noticed that some amino acids are considerably more prevalent in the conserved positions, such as glycine (8% average composition in TM-helices versus 19% composition in conserved positions of TM-helices), proline (4% versus 9%) and tyrosine (3% versus 5%). In contrast, isoleucine (10% versus 4%), valine (8% versus 4%), methionine (4% versus 1%) and threonine (7% versus 4%) are less prevalent in conserved positions. As might be expected, the changes in prevalence of certain amino acids reflect their conservation in the consensus sequence. Therefore, glycine, proline and tyrosine are relatively conserved residues in TM-helical regions, and isoleucine, valine, methionine and threonine have relatively high mutability. This result correlates very well with the mutation data matrix (MDM) for multi-spanning transmembrane regions in membrane proteins [ 10]. In the MDM of multi-spanning transmembrane helices, isoleucine, methionine and valine are found to have relatively high mutability as hydrophobic residues, and serine and threonine also rank high in mutability as polar residues. In the matrix, proline appears to be highly conserved. Our results confirm these findings; in addition, we find that glycine and tyrosine are also highly conserved residues in polytopic TM-helices. We also analyzed the consensus sequences of 168 Pfam-A families for significant amino-acid pair motifs and compared our findings with previous studies. Table 1shows three pair lists: one includes the top 50 pairs of Senes et al. with their significance [ 12]; the second includes the top 50 pairs with their occurrences from randomly generated pairs; and the third includes the top 50 pairs with their occurrences using Senes et al .'s top 200 most significant pairs. Of the three lists, the GxxxG pair always ranks first, highlighting its significance in TM-helices [ 12, 13, 14]. In the last list, which contains top-ranked pairs in the first two lists, we observed some interesting pair-motif patterns that are associated with glycine. Amino-acid pairs such as ZxxxZ and ZxxxxxxZ (Z represents glycine, alanine, or serine - residues with a small side chain) are highly ranked in the last list. It is known that amino acids are positioned with an average of 3.6 residues per turn in TM-helices [ 20]. Two residues that are separated by three or six residues are thus oriented in the same direction. Therefore, it was suggested that these motifs are favored for TM-helix packing [ 12, 14]. Our results are in good agreement with the pair motifs that are formed with small residues, but do not favor pairs with -branched aliphatic residues (isoleucine and valine). This is probably because isoleucine and valine are highly mutable residues in TM-helices. Of all the 168 Pfam-A families of polytopic membrane domains we studied, 45 are classified as transporters, channels, and symporters, representing 27% of the total families. We studied GxxxG and GxxxxxxG pairs, and found that they tend to be associated within transporter/channel-like membrane proteins (Table 2). When one or both glycines is mutated to a small residue such as serine or alanine, this association is weakened. Therefore, GxxxG and GxxxxxxG pairs are relatively conserved in transporter/channel-like membrane proteins. By comparing the amino-acid composition of conserved residues in the TM-helices of the transporter-like families with that of the rest of the Pfam-A families (Table 3), we found that glycine is two times more conserved in the transporter-like families, reflecting the favored GxxxG and GxxxxxxG pairs in these families. Proline and asparagine are also among the conserved residues favored in transporter-like families, whereas cysteine, histidine, isoleucine, leucine, methionine, and valine are unfavored. Genome-wide analysis of families of polytopic membrane domains Classified polytopic membrane protein domains represent from 40% to 81% of the total polytopic membrane domains in the genomes studied, with an average coverage of 61% (Figure 4a). We kept the family classification relatively conservative instead of aiming for a high overall coverage with a less careful classification. To avoid including falsely predicted families, we based our analysis on families with no fewer than four members. However, a higher proportion of polytopic membrane domains could be classified if smaller families were considered (Figure 4a). We classified polytopic membrane domains into Pfam-A, Pfam-B and self-clustered families. Figure 4bshows the distribution of these three kinds of families in all the genomes. Most of the classified polytopic membrane domains belong to Pfam-A and Pfam-B, which cover 95% of classified domains. Classified polytopic membrane domains and their families were studied in relation to the number of ORFs in each genome. Figure 5ashows the number of classified polytopic membrane domains versus the number of ORFs in all the genomes, and Figure 5bshows the same relation in genomes of single-celled organisms. A rough linear relation seems to exist between the number of classified polytopic membrane domains and the number of ORFs in each genome. However, it is interesting that C. elegans is an obvious outlier in the trend. To try to explain this, we took a closer look at the biggest families of polytopic membrane domains in C. elegans (Figure 5c). The three biggest families in C. elegans are PF01604, PF01461, and PB000009, which are described as 7-TM chemoreceptor families. (The annotation of PB000009 is from PD000148 in Prodom [ 21].) These families are almost unique to C. elegans, as most of their members in Pfam are from C. elegans. These families contain well-amplified membrane domains, with total numbers of 289, 250, and 216, respectively. Those numbers are more than double the biggest family in Drosophila melanogaster, which is PF00083 (Sugar (and other) transporter) with 108 members. By removing the number of proteins in these three families (a total of 754), we can see a better fit of C. elegans to the trend line. So the unusually large number of polytopic membrane domains is likely to be caused by protein amplification in a few families. This hypothesis was supported by analysis of Figure 5d, which shows the number of families of polytopic membrane domains in relation to the number of ORFs in studied genomes. The number of families seems to have a logarithmic relation in all studied genomes, including C. elegans. Given that C. elegans has an unusually large number of polytopic membrane domains but a normal number of families, the amplification of polytopic membrane domains is limited to a few families. Discussion Polytopic membrane domains of integral membrane proteins in 26 genomes have been classified into 637 families, which include 218 Pfam-A, 298 Pfam-B and 121 clustered families. Only families that are reasonably big ( 4 members) were selected. The classified families were used for amino-acid distribution and pattern studies for genome-wide analysis. Our studies on amino-acid distribution and patterns were conducted on Pfam-A families. We also analyzed Pfam-B and the clustered families, but found fewer conservations, probably because the Pfam-B and the clustered families are not as carefully aligned as Pfam-A families. In the analysis of amino-acid positions, glycine, proline and tyrosine were found to be the most conserved residues in TM-helical regions, whereas isoleucine, valine, methionine and threonine were identified as the least conserved residues, relative to average occurrence. This result is mostly consistent with previous results from an MDM [ 10]. Although hydrophobic residues such as leucine and isoleucine are among the most abundant residues in TM-helices, they are not well conserved in position. The observed conservation in position for residues such as glycine, proline and tyrosine raises the question of whether these residues are associated with the functions of integral membrane proteins. We also studied amino-acid pair motifs in the conserved sequences in classified families. We show that pairs consisting of a glycine and another small amino acid (glycine, alanine or serine) and facing the same direction in TM -helices are common in conserved positions. As those pair motifs have been shown to be important for packing of TM-helices [ 12, 13, 14], conservation of those motifs probably implies their importance in folding stability of integral membrane proteins, as is the case with hydrophobic residues found in the core regions of soluble proteins. Our results have some interesting implications for the classified Pfam-A families annotated as transporters, symporters and channels. First, there is a preference for 12 TM-helices among these families. As there is no 12-TM transporter protein structure available, we do not know exactly why a 12 TM-helix bundle is preferred for transport. The structure of MsbA from Escherichia coli [ 22], an ATP-binding cassette (ABC) transporter homolog, was recently solved. It contains 12 TM-helices in a homodimer of two 6-TM-helical bundles, which form a central chamber to translocate substrates. However, it is unlikely that polytopic membrane domains in the 12-TM Pfam-A families have a structure like that of ABC transporters; as there is no obvious sequence similarity within the sequence containing the 12 TM-helices, it is unlikely to form two 6-TM-helical bundles. By looking at structures of other transport proteins, including the potassium channel [ 23], the mechanosensitive ion channel [ 24], the aquaporin water channel [ 25], and the glycerol facilitator channel [ 26], it is apparent that 7-10 TM-helices are needed to form a tunnel and transport molecules. This means that proteins with a small number of TM-helices must oligomerize to form a proper tunnel to translocate molecules through the membrane. In addition, families of these proteins tend to have GxxxG and GxxxxxxG instead of related motifs that have one or both glycines changed to alanine or serine. While this preference is interesting, we do not know its origin. Perhaps it reflects especially tight packing among helices in transporters, permitting the C-H...O hydrogen bonding that has been discussed [ 14]. We also studied the distribution of classified families in 26 genomes. Although the classified families of polytopic membrane domains do not provide complete coverage of the total potential polytopic membrane domains, we think they include most membrane proteins that have essential functions in these genomes. The excluded domains are either unique in function for the organism or falsely predicted. In most genomes the number of classified polytopic membrane domains seems to have a linear relation with the number of ORFs. However, C. elegans is an outlier to this trend. By studying the families in C. elegans, we found that it has an exceptional number of 7-TM-helical membrane domains, most of which are annotated as chemoreceptors. As C. elegans cannot see or hear but must search for food, chemosensation is key to survival. C. elegans mediates chemosensation by 32 neurons that are mostly arranged in bilateral pairs on the left and right sides, and it is estimated that there are about 500 G-protein-coupled receptors that act in chemosensation [ 27]. We have now identified many chemoreceptors (750), classified into three large families. Therefore, classification of polytopic membrane domains into families gives us another way to look at the distribution and functions of integral membrane proteins in genomes. Materials and methods Databases In this study, the following databases were used: SWISS-PROT (release 39 and updated to 19 December, 2000) [ 16], which contains 91,132 protein entries; Pfam (release 6.1) [ 15], which contains 2,727 protein families in Pfam-A and 40,230 families in Pfam-B; Proteome Analysis Database [ 28], where complete non-redundant proteomes were downloaded. We selected eight genomes from archaea: Archaeoglobus fulgidus (AF), Aeropyrum pernix K1 (AP), Halobacterium sp. (HS), Methanococcus jannaschii (MJ), Methanobacterium thermoautotrophicum (MT), Pyrococcus abyssi (PA), Pyrococcus horikoshii (PH), and Thermoplasma acidophilum (TA); 14 genomes from bacteria: Aquifex aeolicus (AA), Borrelia burgdorferi (BB), Bacillus subtilis (BS), Chlamydia pneumoniae strain AR39 (CP), Chlamydia trachomatis (CT), E. coli strain K12 (EC), Haemophilus influenzae (HI), Helicobacter pylori strain 26695 (HP), Mycobacterium tuberculosis (MyTu), Mycoplasma genitalium (MG), Mycoplasma pneumoniae (MP), Rickettsia prowazekii (RP), Synechocystis sp. (SS), and Treponema pallidum (TP); four genomes from eukaryotes: Saccharomyces cerevisiae (SC), D. melanogaster (DM), C. elegans (CE), and Arabidopsis thaliana (AT). Classification of polytopic membrane protein domains Figure 1ashows our complete classification procedure. We extracted 8,301 protein entries in the SWISS-PROT database containing no less than two TRANSMEM annotations in the FT field. In these proteins, a total of 52,636 transmembrane (TM) regions were allocated to proteins in the Pfam database. By analyzing the location of TM regions in protein domains of each Pfam family, we were able to identify families that contain polytopic membrane protein domains. We went through a relatively conservative procedure to identify potential families of polytopic membrane domains. First, a Pfam family needed to have a significant number of proteins containing no fewer than two TM regions to be identified as a polytopic membrane domain family. Second, all families in Pfam-A and some in Pfam-B that have more than seven members are analyzed, as the Pfam-B database is under development and contains thousands of small protein families. Finally, we identified 183 Pfam-A and 152 Pfam-B families. Proteins in these families contain 36,878 TM regions, representing approximately 70% of the total TM regions extracted from SWISS-PROT. We analyzed sizes of the loops between all the TM regions, as shown in the inner chart of Figure 1. By Pfam's protein domain classification, most loops (> 95%) are short peptides, containing less than 80 amino acids. Proteins from 26 genomes were submitted to TMHMM server for TM-helix prediction [ 6]. Predicted membrane proteins were searched for polytopic membrane domains, using a rule, generated from the above result, that the intramembrane-domain loop sizes must be less than 80 amino acids. To identify domains that are included in the Pfam families that have been identified, we searched the defined polytopic membrane domains for SWISS-PROT ID matches and regional matches. Unmatched domains are further classified on the basis of Pfam's classification, and additional 48 Pfam-A and 166 Pfam-B families are identified (small size Pfam-B families with no less than four members and no less than three matches are selected). In total, we identified 231 Pfam-A and 318 Pfam-B families as polytopic membrane domains. As not all proteins from the 26 genomes are included in Pfam, we then tried to assign the unclassified polytopic membrane domains to the identified Pfam families by sequence similarity matching to proteins in these families. We used the FASTA program [ 18] to search for matches, and matches with E -values less than 0.01 were considered positive. Obviously, one can assign Pfam-A domains using the HMMer software [ 29], which they are closely associated with. However, we chose to take a somewhat simpler tack, using FASTA. This is a somewhat more conservative approach (finding fewer homologs) which has the advantage of using consistent thresholds that can be applied to all the searches. Query domains were assigned to Pfam families that their best matches belong to. As for those that have not been classified into Pfam families by either ID match or by sequence-similarity match, we tried to cluster these into families on the basis of their sequence similarities. This procedure was done by an all-against-all sequence similarity search ( E -value < 0.01) using FASTA, and polytopic membrane domains were clustered by applying a multiple linkage clustering method [ 30] to the FASTA results. N family members must have more than 0.9 N ( N -1) links to other members, with tolerance of 10% missing links among members. We selected 121 clustered families that contain no fewer than four members, and aligned protein sequences in each family using the CLUSTAL W program [ 31]. For a complete list of assigned polytopic membrane domains see Additional data files and [ 32]. TM-helix identification in the families of polytopic membrane domains We assume that all protein domains in a classified family have a defined number of TM-helices. To identify the number of TM-helices, we made a hydrophobic plot for each family of polytopic membrane domain. We took the aligned sequences in Pfam's families and in clustered families, and calculated the averaged GES hydrophobic values [ 8] of all the residues at each aligned position (Deleted and inserted residues, represented by '-' and '.' respectively, are given 0 individual values.) The plot for each family was generated by the averaged GES values along their corresponding aligned positions. Most hydrophobic regions were clearly defined, as most TM-helices aligned well in each family. By identifying hydrophobic regions in the plots, we assigned numbers of TM-helices to classified families of polytopic membrane proteins. We also eliminated 3 Pfam-A and 20 Pfam-B families, as they did not contain multiple hydrophobic regions in their hydrophobicity plots. Therefore, we have 228 Pfam-A, 298 Pfam-B and 121 clustered families for further analysis. Analysis of amino-acid distribution and pair motifs We analyzed 168 Pfam-A families with more than 20 members and generated consensus sequences with their sequence logos of all aligned sequences in these families using the Alpro sequence logo program [ 19]. The selected family size threshold of 20 members is somewhat arbitrary. We chose it because: first, a significant portion (~75%) of the 228 classified Pfam-A families had more than 20 members; and second, the potential bias from small families could be reduced as they tend to have more conserved residues than big families. However, we can show that our results remain unaffected by changing this threshold. In particular, we analyzed Pfam-A families containing more than 25, 30, 35, or 40 members, and got essentially the same results. Amino acids with sequence conservation values (R sequence ) of no less than 3.0 (top 15% of all values) were considered as conserved residues. For all the families, we counted the occurrences of amino acids in the consensus sequences and in all aligned sequences in hydrophobic regions, which are defined to have no fewer than 10 continuous amino acids with GES hydrophobicity value greater than 0. We used the pair definition from a previous study [ 12]. For example, a pair XY n (X and Y represent amino acids and n a number) corresponds to amino acids X and Y separated by ( n -1) residues. We analyzed occurrences of pair motifs of all combinations of amino acids separated by 1 to 10 residues. This result was compared with a previous study of the 200 most significant over-represented pairs [ 12, 33]. Analysis of the families of polytopic membrane domain in genomes Using simple cross-referencing based on the above procedure, proteomic entries in each genome were searched for matches of polytopic membrane domains of classified families. Numbers of membrane domains in classified families were counted and analyzed in all genomes studied. Additional data files A complete listof assigned polytopic membrane domains is available as additional data and from [ 32]. Additional data file 1 A complete list of assigned polytopic membrane domains A complete list of assigned polytopic membrane domains Click here for additional data file Background One of the goals of the Berkeley Drosophila Genome Project is to define experimentally the transcribed portions of the genome by producing a collection of fully sequenced cDNAs. We have previously reported the construction of cDNA libraries from a variety of tissues and developmental stages; these libraries were used to generate over 250,000 expressed sequence tags (ESTs), corresponding to approximately 70% of the predicted protein-coding genes in the Drosophila melanogaster genome [ 1, 2]. We used computational analysis of these ESTs to establish a collection of putative full-length cDNA clones, the Drosophila Gene Collection (DGC) [ 1, 2]. Here, we describe the process by which we sequenced the full inserts of 8,921 cDNA clones from the DGC, describe the methods by which we assess each clone's likelihood of containing a complete and accurate protein-coding region, and illustrate how these data can be used to uncover additional cases of RNA editing. We have confirmed the identification of 5,375 cDNA clones that can be used with confidence for protein expression or genetic complementation. Results and discussion Sequencing strategy Current approaches to full-insert sequencing of cDNA clones include concatenated cDNA sequencing [ 3], primer walking [ 4], and strategies using transposon insertion to create priming sites [ 5, 6, 7, 8, 9]. We adopted a cDNA sequencing strategy that relies on an in vitro transposon insertion system based on the MuA transposase, combined with primer walking (see Materials and methods for details). The production of full-insert sequences from DGC cDNAs is summarized in Tables 1and 2. For DGCr1, clones were sized before sequencing. Small clones (< 1.4 kilobases (kb)) were sequenced with custom primers and larger clones were sequenced using either mapped or unmapped transposon insertions. For DGCr2, clones were not sized and a set of unmapped transposon insertions was sequenced to generate an average of 5 sequence coverage. For both DGCr1 and r2, custom oligonucleotide primers designed using Autofinish [ 10] were used to bring the sequences to high quality. To date, we have completed sequencing 93% of the DGCr1 clone set and 80% of the DGCr2 clone set. The strategy used for sequencing DGCr1 clones appears to be more efficient, because on average they required fewer sequencing reads than DGCr2 clones. However, we were able to reduce cycle time and increase throughput using the shotgun strategy adopted for sequencing the DGCr2 clones. The average insert size of the 8,770 high-quality cDNA sequences that have been submitted to GenBank is 2 kb and they total 17.5 megabases (Mb) of sequence. The largest clone (SD01389) is 8.7 kb and is derived from a gene ( CG10011 ) that encodes a 2,119-amino-acid ankyrin repeat-containing protein. Evaluating the coding potential of each cDNA on the basis of its full-insert sequence For many potential uses in proteomics and functional genomics [ 11, 12, 13], it is important to establish cDNA collections comprised only of cDNAs with complete and uncorrupted open reading frames (ORFs). To determine which of our sequenced clones meet this standard, we compared them to the annotated Release 3 genome sequence [ 14, 15] using a combination of BLAST [ 16] and Sim4 [ 17] alignments (see Materials and methods for details). We grouped the cDNAs into four categories (Table 3). The first category contains a total of 5,916 cDNA clones, or 68% of the sequenced clones. We are confident that 5,375 of these clones contain a complete and accurate ORF, as they precisely match the Release 3 predicted protein for the corresponding gene. An additional 541 clones are from the SD, GM and AT libraries, which were generated from fly strains that are not isogenic with the strain used to produce the genome sequence. The predicted ORFs from clones from these libraries were required to be identical in length to the Release 3 predicted protein with less than 2% amino-acid difference to be placed in this category. We cannot at present distinguish whether these differences result from strain polymorphisms or reverse transcriptase (RT) errors. However, our own internal estimates of RT errors (see below), based on the observed nucleotide substitution rate in cDNAs derived from the same strain as the genomic sequence, and published estimates of strain polymorphisms [ 18] lead us to believe that the majority of these changes are the result of strain polymorphism. The second category represents 2,450 clones that are known to be compromised in one of a number of ways. The sequences of the largest class of compromised clones (1,314) align to the Release 3 predicted transcripts, but have nucleotide discrepancies that are most likely the result of errors generated by RT during library construction. These include missense and frameshift (+/-1 or +/-2 nucleotide difference) changes in the predicted ORF relative to the Release 3 predicted protein. Clones placed in this class can show up to 2% amino acid differences from the Release 3 peptide for isogenic libraries, and up to 4% difference for non-isogenic libraries. We estimated the error rate of an RNAseH-deficient RT (SuperScriptII, Invitrogen, Carlsbad, CA) by comparing the nucleotide sequence of cDNAs from isogenic libraries to the genomic sequence. For the GH, HL, LD, and LP libraries [ 1], we observed an error rate of 1 in 4,000; for the RE and RH libraries [ 2], we observed an error rate of 1 in 1,000. This difference is likely due to the different RT reaction conditions used in these two library construction protocols [ 1, 2]. Although these numbers are higher than the 1 in 15,000 figure reported for SuperScriptII (Taurai Nenguke, personal communication), the in vitro assay used to obtain this error rate is based on assaying a single site for mutations that revert an amber codon. The next largest class of compromised clones (768) consists of clones apparently truncated at their 5' ends, as judged by comparison to the Release 3 predicted ORFs of the corresponding genes. The 768 5'-short clones represent 757 distinct Release 3 annotated transcripts. For 151 of the 5'-short clones, 143 from DGCr1 and eight from DGCr2, we were able to identify clones with longer ORFs by additional EST sequencing. The remaining 606 clones are assumed to be 5' short because they do not possess a 5' in-frame stop codon and the corresponding annotated ORF in Release 3 extends further 5'. This class of clones represents approximately 9% of all finished clones, consistent with our original estimates that 80-94% of the DGC clones would contain the full ORF [ 1, 2]. The remaining six classes of compromised clones consist of a total of 368 cDNAs (4% of all finished clones, see Table 3). Eighty-three clones encode ORFs that are truncated at their carboxy-termini and are most likely the result of priming from internal poly(A) tracts. Seventy-seven clones contain two unrelated ORFs and are almost certainly the result of two cDNAs being cloned into the same plasmid vector during library construction. Seventy clones contain ORFs of less than 50 amino acids. One hundred and eleven clones overlap a Release 3 predicted gene but are transcribed from the opposite strand from that of the mRNA encoding the Release 3 predicted protein and are considered anti-sense transcripts; a number of such cases were documented in the reannotation of the genome [ 15] and have been reported in many organisms [ 19]. Twenty-one clones correspond to transcripts of transposable elements on the basis of their sequence similarity to identified Drosophila transposons [ 20]. Finally, six clones contain a bacterial transposable element (Tn10, IS1 or IS2) that most likely inserted into the clone during propagation in Escherichia coli (bacterial contaminants). The third and fourth categories consist of clones that may represent alternative transcripts (138) and clones that are currently computationally unclassified (417), respectively. The summary of the analysis of these clones is described in Table 3. Improving the DrosophilacDNA resource We have identified and sequenced cDNA clones that contain a complete and accurate ORF for 40% of all predicted Drosophila genes. We plan on extending this project in two ways. First, we intend to increase the number of genes represented in this set of fully vetted cDNA clones using a combination of experimental approaches. We can use site-directed mutagenesis to correct clones that carry single nucleotide changes or other small, localized defects. For the majority of the compromised clones, we have candidate replacement clones available that were identified as part of our EST sequencing and analysis efforts [ 2]. Generation of the Release 3 annotation of the genome made extensive use of our full-insert sequence data [ 15]. In the course of that effort, human curators identified a total of 2,013 clones that have become the DGCr3. The DGCr3 currently includes 309 clones chosen to replace clones with truncated ORFs, 543 clones for genes that are not currently represented in the DGC, and 833 clones that represent alternative splicing forms. To identify cDNAs for the remaining genes, we plan on using a combination of additional EST sequencing, reverse transcriptase PCR (RT-PCR) and cDNA library screening. Second, we plan on transferring ORFs to a universal cloning system (see [ 21, 22] for examples) in order to generate a standard reagent for proteomics and other functional genomic experiments. In collaboration with Orbigen [ 23], we have already generated 72 baculovirus expression clones from a set of Gateway (Invitrogen, Carlsbad, CA) clones encoding transcription factors. mRNA editing RNA editing is a well-documented mechanism of generating nucleotide diversity beyond that directly encoded by the genome. Adenosine deaminase (ADAR) targets double-stranded regions of nuclear-encoded RNAs, catalyzing the deamination of adenosine (A) to inosine (I) [ 24]. Inosine mimics guanosine (G) in its base-pairing properties, and the translational machinery of the cell interprets I as G. In this way, an A-to-I conversion in the mRNA can alter the genetic information and, consequently, protein function. Null mutations in the single ADAR gene in Drosophila (dADAR) suggest that the function of pre-mRNA editing is to modify adult behavior by altering signaling components in the nervous system [ 25, 26]. Among the mRNAs known to be edited in Drosophila are those encoded by cacophony (a calcium channel gene) [ 27], paralytic (a sodium channel gene) [ 28] and GluCla (a chloride channel gene) [ 29], all of which have multiple editing sites in their coding sequences. In the course of evaluating the quality of the DGCr1 and DGCr2 cDNAs, described above, we compared their translation products to those of the recently completed Release 3 genomic sequence. Such comparisons should reveal cases of RNA editing. In cases in which the predicted protein sequences disagreed, we examined the corresponding nucleotide sequences in search of site-specific A-to-G variation between cDNA and genomic sequences. We identified over 30 candidates consistent with RNA editing; however, additional cDNA or EST data will be required to distinguish RNA editing from RT errors or strain polymorphisms. In a few cases we had enough cDNA and EST data to indicate that RNA editing is the most likely explanation for the observed variation. One such example is shown in Figure 1. The gene CG18314 encodes a G-protein-coupled receptor of the rhodopsin family, containing a seven-transmembrane protein domain with similarity to 2 -adrenergic receptors of mouse and human [ 30, 31]. Ten potential sites of RNA editing were revealed by comparison of the genomic sequence with those of two cDNAs and three ESTs. We validated these 10 sites by gene-specific RT-PCR using RNA isolated from heads of isogenic animals and identified 15 new sites (see legend to Figure 1). We are now in the process of a more rigorous and thorough analysis of potential RNA-editing targets. Materials and methods Sequencing strategy The Drosophila Gene Collection (DGC) consists of two releases, DGCr1 and DGCr2. A process flow diagram of our sequencing strategies is available online [ 32] and is summarized below. The clones in DGCr1 were arrayed by insert size [ 1] and sequenced accordingly; clones in DGCr2 were not arrayed by size. DGCr1 clones less than 1.4 kb were assembled using phrap [ 33] and analyzed with custom scripts to determine whether they were complete. Autofinish (part of the consed computer software package) was used to automatically design custom primers [ 10] for clones that needed quality improvement. Clones that did not finish in the first two rounds of Autofinish were sent to a manual finishing queue for more sophisticated finishing. cDNA clones larger than 1.4 kb were divided into three groups: 1.4 to 3 kb, 3 to 4.5 kb, and greater than 4.5 kb. All clones were sequenced using the in vitro Template Generation System (TGS tmFinnzyme). Clones 3 to 4.5 kb in size, were sequenced using a minimal path of transposon-bearing clones. Clones, 1.4 to 3 kb and those greater than 4.5 kb, were sequenced with 24 and 48 unmapped transposon-bearing clones, respectively. After the initial cycle of transposon sequencing, the clones were analyzed using in-house scripts and Autofinish to determine their state of completeness and quality. DGCr2 clones were sequenced using 24 unmapped transposon-bearing clones. After an initial cycle of transposon sequencing, the clones were analyzed for completeness and quality as described above for DGCr1 clones, using in-house scripts and Autofinish. DGCr2 clone sequences were screened for transposable element sequences, cases of co-ligation, and presence of a poly(A) tail before any finishing work was ordered. In vitrotransposition and mapping insertion sites Transposon insertion reactions were carried out in 96-well format using the Template Generation System (TGS tm) according to the manufacturer's recommendations (Finnzyme). Transposon reactions consisted of 1 l (50-150 ng) plasmid DNA isolated from Qiagen or Revprep DNA isolation robots, 1.6 l 5 reaction buffer, 8 ng Entranceposon (Kan R), 0.4 l MuA transposase, and deionized water to bring the final volume to 8 l. Reactions were carried out in PCR plates and incubated in an ABI thermocycler according to the manufacturer's instructions. After heat inactivation of the MuA transposase, 2 l of the reaction were used to transform 17 l of DH5 chemically competent cells (Invitrogen) in 96-well format. Following incubation at 37C for 1 h in 183 l SOC medium, cells were plated onto appropriate medium selecting for vector and Entranceposon antibiotic resistance. Plates were incubated at 37C overnight. Colonies were picked into 1.2-ml polypropylene titer tubes (E&K Scientific) containing 0.5 ml LB medium supplemented with 7.5% glycerol and the appropriate antibiotics and incubated at 37C overnight. These stocks were then used to inoculate 1.2 ml 2XYT medium in 96-well square deep-well plates (E&K Scientific) for culture and DNA plasmid preps. Transposon insertion sites were mapped relative to the vector ends by PCR essentially as described [ 34]. Forty-eight transposon-bearing clones were picked for PCR mapping using the Mu-End primer (present at both ends of the tranposon) in combination with vector-specific primers, resulting in 96 PCR products. Agarose gels were imaged using custom software developed in-house (Earl Cornell, LBNL) and analyzed using an algorithm, Supertramp [ 35, 36], to identify a minimal path of transposon-bearing clones to be re-arrayed and sequenced. DNA sequencing Purified plasmid DNA from transposon-bearing clones was sequenced using 2 l ABI BigDye II Dye terminator mix (Applied Biosystems) in a 10-l reaction. Sequencing reactions were processed through 96-well Sephadex G-50 SF plates (Multiscreen filter plates; Millipore) and loaded onto ABI Prism 3700 DNA Analyzer. Sequencing primers specific for each end of the Entranceposon were used in the reactions (5'-ATCAGCGGCCGCGATCC-3' and 5'-TTATTCGGTCGAAAAGGATCC-3'). Sequencing of 5' and 3' cDNA ends was carried out as previously described [ 2]. The sequencing reported here was carried out over a 2-year period during which we made several major modifications to the strategy; for example, switching from sequencing mapped transposon insertions to random transposons. These changes improved throughput and cycle time, but made the process less efficient in terms of the required number of sequencing reads. Because of these changes, it is not possible to give a meaningful single efficiency estimate; however, our overall efficiency is comparable to other efforts using a similar strategy [ 8, 9]. Data processing and assembly cDNA clone data management relied on custom scripts and an Informix database. Sequences were processed using phred [ 37, 38] and assembled using phrap [ 33]. 5' and 3' EST end-reads were combined with the transposon-based reads to generate cDNA clone assemblies. We adopted the sequence quality-control standards defined for the Mammalian Gene Collection project [ 39]. Custom scripts evaluated assemblies for: 5' and 3' EST reads in a single contig in the proper orientation; at least 10 bases of 3' poly(A) tail; phrap estimated error rate of less than one in 50,000 bases; and individual base quality of at least q25. Double-stranded coverage was not a criterion for a clone to be considered finished; however, we have determined that 96.2% of all submitted bases are double-stranded and 48% of clones had complete double-stranded coverage. Autofinish [ 10] was used to design primers to improve quality or extend sequence from multiple sequence contigs. cDNA clones with an estimated error rate greater than one in 50,000 bp were automatically identified and processed with additional rounds of Autofinish designed finishing work. If Autofinish could not design primers, custom primers were designed manually using consed. Custom scripts were used to manually order primers to generate a further round of sequencing. The sequence data described in this paper have been submitted to the GenBank data library under accession numbers: AF132140-AF132196, AF160900, AF132551-AF132560, AF160903-AF160904, AF132562-AF132563, AF160906, AF160909, AF132565-AF132567, AF160911-AF160913, AF145594-AF145621, AF160916-AF160917, AF145623-AF145684, AF160921, AF160923, AF145686-AF145696, AF160929, AF160879, AF160882, AF160933-AF160934, AF160889-AF160891, AF160938-AF160944, AF160893-AF160897, AF160947, AF172635-AF172637, AY071209-AY071211, AF181622-AF181650, AY071213-AY071216, AF181652-AF181657, AY071218-AY071250, AF184224-AF184230, AY071252-AY071266, AY047496-AY047580, AY071268-AY071288, AY050225-AY050241, AY071290-AY071313, AY051411-AY052150, AY071315-AY071320, AY058243-AY058797, AY071322-AY071331, AY059433-AY059459, AY071333-AY071342, AY060222-AY060487, AY071345, AY060595-AY061633, AY071347-AY071381, AY061821-AY061834, AY071383-AY071385, AY069026-AY069757, AY071387, AY069759-AY069867, AY071389-AY071406, AY070491-AY070597, AY071408-AY071436, AY070599-AY070602, AY071438-AY071445, AY070604-AY070608, AY071447-AY0 71450, AY070610-AY070623, AY071452-AY071454, AY070625-AY070628, AY071456-AY071461, AY070632-AY070634, AY071463-AY071476, AY070636, AY071478-AY071489, AY070638-AY070642, AY071491, AY070644, AY071494-AY071543, AY070646-AY070651, AY071545-AY071557, AY070653-AY070656, AY071559-AY071564, AY070658-AY070662, AY071566-AY071577, AY070664-AY070667, AY071579-AY071581, AY070671-AY070692, AY071583-AY071606, AY070694-AY070716, AY071608-AY071632, AY070777-AY070805, AY071634-AY071661, AY070807-AY070830, AY071663-AY071664, AY070832-AY070909, AY071666-AY071672, AY070911-AY070913, AY071674, AY070915-AY070920, AY071681-AY071683, AY070922-AY070951, AY071685-AY071692, AY070953-AY070954, AY071694-AY071703, AY070957-AY070964, AY071705-AY071711, AY070966, AY071713-AY071721, AY070969-AY070973, AY071724, AY070975-AY070985, AY071726-AY071727, AY070987-AY071000, AY071729-AY071731, AY071002, AY071733-AY071741, AY071004-AY071006, AY071743-AY071745, AY071008-AY071056, AY071747-AY071764, AY071058-AY071064, AY071767-AY071768, AY071066-AY071072, AY075158-AY075228, AY071074-AY071084, AY075230-AY075262, AY071086-AY071090, AY075264-AY075441, AY071092, AY075443-AY075451, AY071094-AY07H36, AY075453-AY075473, AY071138-AY071140, AY075475-AY075524, AY071142-AY071154, AY075526-AY075588, AY071156-AY071157, AY084089-AY084152, AY071159-AY071197, AY084154-AY084214, AY071199-AY071203, AY089215-AY089229, AY071205-AY071207, AY089231-AY089329, AY089331-AY089461, AY118273-AY118672, AY089463-AY089564, AYn8674-AYn8713, AY089566-AY089601, AY118715-AY119132, AY089603-AY089615, AY119134-AY119287, AY089617-AY089700, AY119441-AY119665, AY094627-AY094871, AY121612-AY121684, AY094873-AY094970, AY121686-AY121700, AY094996-AY095100, AY121702-AY121717, AY095172-AY095206, AY122061-AY122270, AY095508-AY095533, AY128413-AY128506, AY102649-AY102700, AY129431-AY129464, AY113190-AY113653, BT001253-BT001904. Analysis of finished cDNA sequences cDNA sequence was submitted to GenBank with a preliminary annotation of the longest ORF and a gene assignment based on a high BLASTN similarity score to the Release 2 genome annotations. Subsequent processing was used to determine a more detailed analysis of the clone quality. Using BLASTN, sequence from each cDNA clone was compared to genomic sequence, predicted genes, predicted coding sequences (CDSs), known Drosophila transposable elements, and Escherichia coli transposable elements. Using BLASTP, the translation of the longest ORF was compared to the predicted Release 3 translations [ 15]. Custom scripts were used to parse the BLAST output and record similarity results. We also compared the nucleotide sequence of each clone to the Release 3 genome sequence [ 14] using Sim4 and to the Release 3 predicted CDS with the highest BLAST score. mRNA editing We confirmed the sequence quality of the genomic region encompassing CG018314 (12,731 bp) by independently assembling an 18,284 bp contig consisting solely of whole-genome shotgun (WGS) traces. The assembled sequence contig has an average of 8.6 sequence coverage. The phrap estimated error rate for each genomic base corresponding to a mRNA edited base is q90. Similarly, we determined the phrap estimated error rate for each mRNA edited base to be q90. We manually inspected chromatograms for high-quality discrepancies in the genomic sequence and found none, indicating that the edited bases are not due to population heterozygosity. To validate the editing sites, total RNA was isolated from heads from a mixed population of male and female adult flies from the isogenic strain y 1; cn 1 bw 1 sp 1using the Concert Cytoplasmic RNA isolation reagent according to the manufacturer's guidelines (Invitrogen). Nine independent gene-specific RT-PCR reactions were performed using the Superscript one-step RT-PCR kit according to the manufacturer (Invitrogen) and PCR products were cloned into the PCR2.1 vector. Twenty-four independent subclones from each of four independent RT-PCR products were sequenced and twelve independent subclones from an additional five independent RT-PCR products were sequenced; we considered amplicons to represent independent transcripts if they arose from different RT-PCR reactions or if they differed in sequence. The gene-specific primers used in the RT-PCR experiments were 5'-GTGCAGACGAAAACGAGATGCCAATG-3' and 5'-TGTAGTTCTTCTCAAAGGGATTACG-3'. Background DNA microarray experiments have huge potential for screening for gene expression of relevance in particular contexts. However, the output of such an experiment is often just a list of 'fold-changes' in gene-expression levels and so researchers face the question of whether their 'hits' can be trusted or not. In the absence of any knowledge of what to expect, most researchers simply draw a line at a given fold-change and examine whatever is above it. The largest fold-changes in highly expressed genes can usually be trusted. However, because the 'correct' fold-change limit typically shifts with decreasing intensity of expression, a fixed fold-change line is inadequate in the range of expression levels where most genes actually lie. Most papers reporting microarray experiments cut off their candidate lists in essentially arbitrary ways, at the level that the researchers feel comfortable with, rather than on the basis of statistics. Here we present an easy but sound recipe for quantifying statistical significance, based on careful statistical characterization of a large dataset of GeneChip experiments. A particular feature of GeneChip arrays is that each transcript is probed by many short snippets of sequence, instead of a single longer probe as in cDNA arrays [ 1, 2, 3]. Therefore, translating the measured probe intensities into a global gene-intensity or ratio score requires a composite scoring function. In principle, the redundancy in the probes offers a way to reduce the noise level for each gene; on the other hand, finding the best estimator is difficult and it is likely that the variability in probe behavior will prevent a single estimator from being optimal in all cases. Studying the raw data reveals its great complexity, and the hybridization processes underlying the measured perfect-match (PM) versus single-mismatch (MM) intensities prove hard to interpret physically. The principal difficulties stem first from the large number of probes with MM intensities higher than the corresponding PM, and therefore not conforming to the usual hybridization picture; and second, from the very broad intensity distributions within each probe set. The first task is therefore to design a method that can robustly handle such input data. Second, once reliable measures for differential expression from two experiments are obtained, one would like to measure their significance level. It is now widely accepted that such measures should be derived in an intensity-dependent fashion [ 4, 5, 6, 7, 8]. There are at least two independent sources of variability to be considered: first, the intrinsic noise levels related to the technology (type I noise), which includes noise components introduced by the enzymatic step used in the cRNA preparation (see Materials and methods) and the fluorescence measurement (scan); and second, the variability encountered in biological replicates. Previous studies have addressed significance issues in both cDNA and GeneChip arrays: they have discussed significance according to intrinsic noise levels [ 4, 5]; or focused on variability in replicates only [ 6, 7]; or considered both simultaneously [ 8]. High-density oligonucleotide microarrays (HDONAs) are composed of 25-base oligonucleotide probes synthesized and attached to a glass matrix by photolithographic techniques. As such a short oligonucleotide sequence would not give sufficiently specific hybridization alone, GeneChip uses 14-20 different oligonucleotides to probe each transcript; and each comes in two versions - the PM probe and the MM probe. In the latter, the central base has been substituted by its complement and this probe is intended to control for nonspecificity. The pairs (PM, MM) are called probe pairs and the full set of probes for a given gene is called a probe set. The standard picture used to interpret the hybridization is based on the following model [ 2, 9, 10]: PM = I S + I NS + B MM = (1 - ) I S + ' I NS + B where PM (MM) is the observed brightness, I S the contribution from specific complementary binding, I NS the amount from nonspecific binding, and B a background of physical origin, that is, the photodetector dark current or light reflections from the scanning process. The proper technique for estimating the background and its fluctuations is discussed in [ 11]. Then, (thought to be positive) reflects the loss of binding due to a single substitution, and , ' are the susceptibilities for nonspecific binding. In the ideal case, which is usually assumed, = ' and therefore the subtraction PM - MM = (1 - ) I S is directly proportional to the desired signal. However, the susceptibility can be strongly varying within a given probe set. We shall focus on the following two aspects of GeneChip data analysis: first, we describe a method to evaluate ratio scores and associated quality measures. In this step, we shall relax the assumption that = ' and consider either the PM probes only or the usual PM-MM subtraction. These cases were chosen to bracket the extremes of an ideally performing MM probe and a poor MM. Second, we use the assigned ratio scores and show how one can, with moderate effort, attribute a significance level to differentially expressed genes. Our approach is somewhat similar to that described in [ 8], in the sense that it relies on an empirical characterization of the noise envelope, and is more distantly related to that described in [ 5]. Both these approaches were developed and applied in the context of cDNA arrays (see Materials and methods for a discussion of the difference between our method and [ 8]). Results Relations between 'single-gene' measurements Figures 1and 2show the general trends in the relations between the ratio measurements and their quality measures, for both the PM and PM-MM cases. We look at a collection of 12 Mu11KsubA chips hybridized to mRNA extracts from different mouse brain regions (see Materials and methods). There are 66 internal pairwise comparisons possible, for each of the 6,595 genes. We randomly picked 120,000 ratios out of the possible 435,270 for plotting these figures. For the purpose of the present discussion, we believe the trends are well captured by the set of ratios shown; we picked this dataset because, compared with other datasets we studied, the ratios span a relatively large dynamic range. The arrays were locally normalized, as explained in Materials and methods. The main observation is that the three quantities: the log-ratio (LR), the standard error (SE), and the Wilcoxon rank sign test p -value show little correlation with each other, and therefore represent relatively 'independent' indicators (see Materials and methods for the precise definitions). The lines indicating a signal-to-noise ratio of 1 clearly show that the vast majority of the measurements are well defined, especially for the larger log-ratios. The behavior of SE when the number of probes ( N good ) retained for deriving the ratio score is small (as indicated by the colored dots) is well understood in terms of the number of residuals considered in the LTS method, that is, genes with N good = 1 necessarily have SE = 0. The only obvious correlation is that small p -values are not compatible with LR = 0, as shown by the valley along LR = 0 in the contour plots of LR versus p. It is, however, possible to achieve very small p -values for tiny fold-changes, as small as 1.1. The PM and PM-MM methods show very similar features overall, the biggest difference being that p -values tend to be larger for large LRs in the PM-MM, which reflects the overall smaller number of N good probes usable in that method (there are more probes lying below background after the subtraction). The difference in the log-ratios from the PM and PM-MM methods is illustrated in Figure 3. Although there is a branch with LR ~ 0 from the PM method when all p -values are considered, this branch rapidly disappears when focusing at smaller p -values only. Cases where the PM and PM-MM scores indicate regulation in opposite directions are virtually absent when p < 0.05. However, one can see a 'compression effect' in the scores from the PM method, shown by the edges with slope > 1 near the regions indicated by the arrows in the bottom right panel (this can also be seen by comparing the upper two contour plots of Figures 1and 2). This compression probably reflects cross-hybridization effects that are not corrected for in the PM-only method. However, if one is more interested in finding significant changes than in the LR values themselves, the determining quantity is the LR value divided by the width of the local noise. Therefore, compression in the scale is not dramatic as long as the noise envelope also shrinks (see Discussion). A comparison of the LR/SE (signal-to-noise ratio, SN) from both methods emphasizes the complementarity of both methods (Figure 4), as there is clearly a similar fraction of genes that have poor SN ratios (SN < 2) in one case but acceptable ratios in the other. These are found in the top-left and bottom-right quadrants defined by the horizontal and vertical blue lines. We have shown previously [ 11, 12] using the same Mu11K dataset that our PM-only composite ratios lead to a reduction in variance, especially at low intensities, when compared to the Microarray Analysis Suite 3.2 available at that time. Noise structure In Figure 5we show typical scatterplots with increasing levels of overall differential regulation, from duplicates to strong regulation (going from left to right). Although these particular data are from a subset of the Mu11KsubA chips used for Figures 1and 2, our experience is that these are very typical of GeneChip hybridization data from numerous chip series. We shall always refer to duplicates as 'experiments' where the enzymatic steps (see Protocols in Materials and methods) in the target sample preparations have been performed independently. In ideal terms, the scatter cloud is thought of as consisting of two components: one is just noise from the enzymatic and hybridization steps affecting all the genes; the other reflects true sample differences. To illustrate this, we give three prototypical cases showing the data for the individual genes and the local variance regression lines (Figure 5). In these, the second component increases gradually from zero (left-most plot, duplicates), as visible in the quantile-quantile (QQ) plots in Figure 5b. The nearly straight left-most QQ plot indicates that variable LR/ () closely follows a normal distribution. As the amount of true regulation increases, longer tails develop that depart from normal behavior. The fact that the noise component behaves as local log-normal distributions is not dictated by the choice of the variable LR/ (), on the contrary, it emerges as a rather pleasant feature of GeneChip experiments. In Figure 6, we demonstrate that this log-normality occurs very systematically: we show the two best and two worst (judged by the linearity of the QQ plots and the amount of outliers) from 40 human HG-U95A duplicates collected in a study of rheumatoid arthritis (see Materials and methods). The majority of the cases look closer to the first two examples; and the PM and PM-MM methods lead to equally good log-normal distributions overall. The mean and variation in the local SD for both the PM and PM-MM methods are shown in Figure 7and reflect the characteristic contraction of the noise envelope with increasing coordinates along the diagonal. It is obvious that the PM noise envelope is thinner than that of the PM-MM at low intensity; on the other hand, both methods lead to comparable local in the 'flat' mid to high-intensity domains, where over half of the data lies. There, is approximately 0.15, so that 2 corresponds to a ratio of 2 0.3= 1.25, so 95% of repeated measurements would fall within a factor of 1.25 of their mean. Barring some artifact affecting large numbers of probes simultaneously, we would expect then that approximately 95% of the measurements in the mid- to high-intensity range are reproducible within a factor of around 1.25. Discussion Our experience is that despite constant improvements, current incarnations of the arrays still behave fairly inhomogeneously as far as their PM and MM hybridization properties are concerned. This is probably the consequence of various sequence-dependent effects: first, the difference in stacking energies of single-stranded snippets between the PM and the MM sequences can easily be in the range of the gain in binding energies; second, there are certainly kinetic effects as the hybridizations are not carried to complete equilibrium; and third, there is always the possibility of sequence-dependent synthesis efficiencies. The wide range of probe set behavior is best seen in the SN ratios in Figure 4. For these reasons, we believe that a safe way to proceed is to integrate the results from both PM-only and PM-MM methods. For instance, considering the intersection (or union) of genes predicted by either method would minimize the false-positive (or false-negative) rates. In addition, there seems to be a significant variation in the hybridization properties across different chip series, as can be observed from simple statistics on the number of probe pairs with MM hybridizing better than PM (see Results). The superiority of the yeast chip mentioned above may of course be related to the relative simplicity of the yeast genome compared to that of the higher organisms. Another point worth mentioning is that the values of the ratio scores may deviate from the real mRNA concentration ratios in some intensity regimes as the result of various effects such as non-linearities in the probes' binding affinities. Evidence concerning this matter has recently been reported [ 13]. This emphasizes the main point of our work, namely the importance of measuring differential expression relative to the local noise; only then can we decide whether a given ratio score can be considered as indicating true regulation or not. Finally, the question of handling significance across replicated experiments is a second step to be built on top of the analysis presented above. The most reasonable approach would be to follow [ 7], namely to consider the t -statistics of the expression ratios across the samples. However, one would also want to weight the average according to the noise content in each of the samples, in a manner similar to that discussed in [ 8]. Materials and methods Datasets and protocols Mul IKsubA chips hybridized to adult mouse brain extracts All six brain regions were obtained from adult (2-3-month-old) CD-1 mice. Dissections were carried out in ice-cold buffer, and tissues were immediately frozen with liquid nitrogen. Total RNA was isolated. Poly (A) +RNA was then isolated with magnetic oligo-dT beads. For each brain region, 1 g poly(A) +RNA was converted to double-stranded T7 cDNA. Labeled cRNAs were produced from the double-stranded cDNA libraries and hybridized to chips according to the Affymetrix protocol, including the antibody-amplification step. All hybridizations were carried out in duplicate. HG-U95A chips hybridized to human blood extracts The same protocol was used, except that no poly(A) isolation was done before the conversion to cDNA. Regression of the log-ratios, SE To compute expression ratios for genes measured in two separate arrays, let ( x i , y i ) denote the brightness measurements for one probe set (the index i ranges from 1 to the number of probe pairs for the particular probe set, 14-20 depending on the chip series) taken in the two different hybridization arrays X and Y. We investigate both cases in which the intensities ( x i , y i ) are either the intensities of the background-subtracted PM cells or the PM-MM values (which need no background correction). Only N good 'good' probe pairs are retained for determining the ratio and associated quantities. We discard probes that are saturated in both X and Y, or probe pairs such that PM-MM < 3 or PM < 3 in both X or Y. Here, corresponds to the standard deviation of the fluctuations in the background intensity. Not considering such probes prevents contamination of the ratio estimates from noisy low-intensity probes. After identifying the probe pairs allowed into the analysis, the differential expression score LR for the gene in question is obtained from a LTS robust regression of LR i = log 2 ( x i / y i ) to an intercept = LR. LTS regression corresponds to minimizing: the sum of the Ns smallest squared residuals [ 14, 15]. We used the default Ns = ( N good /2) + 1 and this parameter can be adjusted in our scripts; however, we found no evidence for changing the default. An estimate of the standard error (SE) for is given by SE = . Composite absolute intensities for the gene in each experiment can be obtained via geometric means of the ( x i , y i ) probes kept in the LTS regression, however, these are only indicative measures as the method was designed primarily for expression ratios. Wilcoxon statistics, number of cells used In addition to the SE, which reports a quantitative estimate of the error in the log-ratio measurement, it is also instructive to report a p -value from a paired Wilcoxon rank sign test of the LR i values. Casually speaking, this value is related to the portion of the probes indicating gene regulation in the same direction: the theoretical minimum p -value, p min , is achieved when all probe ratios agree on the same direction of regulation. Moreover, the test is non-parametric as it is operating in rank space, and p therefore also incorporates information about the number of probe pairs used ( N good ). Namely, the Wilcoxon p -value has a lower bound that decreases with increasing sample size. For instance p min = 1/4 for N good = 3 and 1/8 for N good = 4, so that small p scores can only be reached when enough probes are used. However, the converse is not true, as a gene that is not differentially expressed can have a p -value that is close to 1 even if all the probe pairs are 'good' in the above sense. Our method does not primarily aim at quantifying the presence or absence of a gene in a particular sample. Nevertheless, we report the number of probes ( N above ) with intensity larger than 3 eff ( eff = for the PM-MM case) for both samples X and Y. Using enough data, one could compute a probability of presence depending on N above , and it is likely that this calibration would be dependent on the chip series. Normalization and noise characterization The measures described above are all single-gene properties; they can be computed when given just the intensities gathered for a single gene. In contrast, correcting for systematic trends (also called 'data massage') and more important, classifying expression ratios according to their significance, requires measures that involve the entire gene population on the arrays. We stress that these techniques are meaningful only when the number of genes probed is sufficiently large, and under the assumption that a large fraction of them does not show differential regulation between the two tested samples. These requirements are usually met in GeneChip experiments. Normalization aims at correcting for systematic trends (that is, bias as a result of dye efficiencies and amplification, sample concentration, photodetector efficiency) so as to make a collection of arrays directly comparable. One must distinguish global from local normalization: in the first, the intensities of all the probes on the array are scaled by a constant factor; in the second, the normalization factor can be intensity dependent. Local normalization techniques are mostly discussed in the context of cDNA arrays [ 16, 17], where the intensity dependence can be severe. HDONAs suffer less from 'bent' noise structures; nevertheless, local normalization has also been introduced for them [ 18, 19]. Although attractive, local normalization should not be applied blindly as it can hide real failures in the data and create its own artifacts. Our approach to normalization is based on centering the log-ratio distribution either globally, or locally as in [ 16]. For the data presented in the Results section, local normalization was used; however, our scripts allow a choice between the local and global schemes (see Additional data files for scripts). We always normalize an array with respect to another one, and we found it more accurate to do so at the gene rather than the probe level (we normalize the composite ratio scores a posteriori instead of normalizing the raw probe intensities). Turning to the noise structure, significance of regulation is quantified from a local robust regression ( ) of the variable LR 2versus 77, where LR = log( I X / I Y ) is the log-ratio of the intensities and = log( I X I Y )/2 is half the log-product. I X and I Y denote the locally normalized intensities of the genes in channels X and Y. We should emphasize that estimating the local variance in this manner only makes sense after the arrays have been locally normalized. The function ( ) then quantifies the local log-ratio variance, so that the local SD is given by ( ) = . We used the R routine loess for the fitting [ 15]. The justification for using the local SD as a criterion for significance relies upon the empirical fact that the variable LR/ ( ) follows a good normal distribution in the case of replicate (pure noise) experiments (see Figure 6). The significance of a ratio score can therefore be assessed using the value LR/SD; that is, a value LR/SD = 2 implies that the null hypothesis that the gene is not regulated can be rejected with a 95% confidence level. We finally comment on the precise differences between our approach and that in [ 8]. First, we found no evidence for the inclusion of an additive term in linear coordinates. Judging by the data, the noise structure is very well captured by an effective multiplicative model (see Results). Second, the multiplicative noise component is estimated in logarithmic coordinates instead of linear, and after a local normalization. Finally, we estimate the local scale in the noise by an empirical robust fit of the local variance, with no a priori model. While it would be satisfactory to have a physical model describing the noise, our experience is that it is very hard to formulate one that accounts for the observed structure in all cases. Additional data files Scripts for converting between file types are available with this article ( cdf2psc, cel2ratios, cel2raw, raw2pcel; see explanatory filefor more details) and at the authors' website [ 20]. Additional data file 1 cdf2psc cdf2psc: converts a .cdf file into a .psc file. Click here for additional data file Additional data file 2 cel2ratios cel2ratios: converts two .PCEL files into ratios. Click here for additional data file Additional data file 3 cel2raw cel2raw: converts .CEL files into .RAW files. Click here for additional data file Additional data file 4 raw2pcel raw2pcel: estimates background and so on. Click here for additional data file Additional data file 5 Explanatory file Explanatory file Click here for additional data file Background The Golgi complex is the central secretory organelle of most eukaryotic cells and consists of membranous stacks called cisternae [ 1, 2]. Secreted proteins, like all other proteins, are synthesized in the endoplasmic reticulum (ER) and are specifically packaged into vesicles that bud off from the ER in a GTP-dependent process [ 3, 4]. These lipid vesicles are coated with the COPII coat protein-complex and are equipped with the ATP-dependent vesicle-fusion apparatus. They carry the secretory cargo to the cis surface of the Golgi complex, with which they fuse, delivering the cargo. A second type of vesicle, coated by the COPI coat-protein complex, is part of a retrograde pathway that buds off the Golgi membrane and returns proteins that are not targeted for secretion back to the endoplasm [ 3, 4]. Studies on the secretory system in crown-group eukaryotes (plants, animals and fungi) have uncovered a family of proteins, the p24 (p24/gp25L/emp24/Erp) family, that have an important role in cargo selection and packaging into COPII-coated vesicles [ 5, 6, 7, 8]. Additionally, they might also function in excluding secreted proteins from COPI-coated retrograde vesicles [ 9, 10]. Members of the p24 family are type I membrane proteins, with a small carboxy-terminal cytoplasmic tail that interacts with the vesicle coat proteins and a globular lumenal region that probably interacts with the cargo [ 11, 12]. They are abundantly distributed on the membranes of the vesicles budding off the ER and the cis Golgi membranes. The p24 proteins belong to at least four distinct subfamilies [ 8, 12] and form hetero-oligomeric complexes that contain at least one member from each subfamily. This heteromerization of the p24 proteins has been shown to require a coiled-coil stretch at the extreme carboxyl terminus of their lumenal regions [ 10]. Improved understanding of the p24 family may throw light on evolution and function of the Golgi apparatus in eukaryotes. With this objective, we conducted a computational sequence analysis of the p24 proteins and show that they contain a conserved globular domain that is also present in several other Golgi and lipid-traffic proteins. We present evidence that this module is likely to serve as a common denominator in protein-protein interactions in several distinct contexts, such as in secretory vesicles and on the Golgi peripheral membrane. The proliferation of this superfamily appears to have been central to the diversification of the eukaryotic secretory apparatus. Results and discussion Identification of a conserved domain in p24 and other Golgi proteins The bona fide p24 proteins contain a short carboxy-terminal tail that interacts with the COP-complex proteins through specific short peptide motifs. The amino-terminal region that faces the lumen is much larger and is predicted to form a compact globular unit. As this region of the protein is likely to contain a conserved globular domain that mediates other functional interactions of these proteins, we sought to investigate its complete diversity and potential evolutionary connections. We carried out a profile search of the Non-Redundant protein database (of the National Center for Biotechnology Information, NCBI) using the PSI-BLAST program [ 13], seeded with lumenal region of the Caenorhabditis elegans p24 family member K08E4.6 (the profile-inclusion threshold was set at 0.01 and the search iterated until convergence). This search readily detected the classical p24 family members that are found in six to nine copies in the proteomes of most organisms belonging to the eukaryotic crown group. In addition, this search retrieved several other proteins that do not belong to the p24 family with statistically significant expectation ( E )-values ( E < 0.001, see Figure 1legend). These proteins include yeast Osh3p, a cytoplasmic oxysterol-binding protein, animal Sec14-like proteins that are involved in secretion, human GCP60 (also called PAP7, a peripheral-type benzodiazepine receptor-associated protein [ 14]), which interacts with the Golgi integral membrane protein Giantin, and several other uncharacterized eukaryotic proteins with different lipid-binding domains (Figure 1). Reciprocal searches initiated with this region from the newly detected proteins showed that they were more closely related to each other, but in subsequent iterations they recovered the classic p24 family members at significant E -values, suggesting that all these conserved regions define a novel superfamily of protein domains. Separate prediction of the secondary structure of this domain from the p24 family and the newly detected proteins, showed that the two groups had essentially the same core structural elements, further reinforcing their relationship. As this conserved domain is present in at least three distinct classes of proteins related to Golgi dynamics (animal Sec14 proteins, the p24 family and GCP60-like proteins), we name this conserved region the GOLD domain. The presence of the GOLD domain at the extreme amino or carboxyl terminus of the Osh3p and animal Sec14 proteins, respectively, allowed us to establish accurate boundaries for it. The domain is typically between 90 and 150 amino acids long and, in the p24 family, it comprises almost the entire lumenal region, with the exception of an -helical extension of approximately 50 amino acids that precedes the transmembrane segment. Most of the size difference observed in the GOLD-domain superfamily is traceable to a single large low-complexity insert that is seen in some versions of the domain. A secondary-structure prediction for the domain using the PHD [ 15] program reveals that it is likely to adopt a compact all--fold structure with six to seven strands. Most of the sequence conservation is centered on the hydrophobic cores that support these predicted strands. The predicted secondary-structure elements and the size of the conserved core of the domain suggests that it may form a -sandwich fold with the strands arranged in two sheets stacked on each other. Experimental studies so far on diverse proteins containing GOLD domains point to a role for it in protein-protein interactions. A region of the GPC60 molecule that rather precisely encompasses the GOLD domain has been shown to bind to the cytoplasmic region of the Golgi membrane protein Giantin [ 16]. Cross-linking experiments have suggested that the p24 proteins interact directly with the cargo molecules that are present in the lumen of the COPII-coated vesicles and that they are, accordingly, cargo receptors [ 17]. However, yeast deletion mutants lacking all the p24 proteins grow similarly to wild type, although they show delays in translocation of a subset of cargo molecules such as invertase and Gas1p from the ER to the Golgi, and increased secretion of resident ER proteins [ 18]. Certain members of the p24 family from vertebrates have also been shown to bind to specific ligands such as the interleukin-1 receptor-like molecule T1/ST2 and might aid its proper expression on the cell surface [ 19]. These observations suggest that the p24 subset of the GOLD domains probably function as discriminators that selectively interact with particular proteins to influence their loading into vesicles. The GOLD domains show considerable variability in some of the loops that are predicted to extrude from the core -sandwich-like structure (Figure 1). These loops might form exposed surfaces that provide the GOLD domains with the discriminatory capacity necessary for their interactions with diverse ligands. The domain architecture and evolutionary history of GOLD-domain proteins: functional implications With the exception of the p24 proteins, which have a simple architecture with the GOLD domain as their only globular domain, all other GOLD-domain proteins contain additional conserved globular domains (Figure 2). In these proteins, the GOLD domain co-occurs with lipid-, sterol- or fatty acid-binding domains such as PH [ 20, 21], Sec14p [ 22], FYVE [ 23], oxysterol binding- and acyl CoA-binding domains, suggesting that these proteins may interact with membranes. The FYCO1 protein that combines a GOLD domain with a FYVE domain, also contains a RUN domain [ 24], an uncharacterized -helical domain that may have a role in the interaction of various proteins with cytoskeletal filaments [ 24, 25]. An orthologous group of proteins typified by human Sec14L1, which is conserved in all animals, has, in addition to the carboxy-terminal fusion of the Sec14p and GOLD domains, a previously unrecognized, conserved amino-terminal domain (Figures 2, 3). This domain has so far been found only in eukaryotes, and occurs in stand-alone form in several proteins, including the human PRELI protein [ 26] and the yeast MSF1p' protein. The PRELI/MSF1p' domain is approximately 170 residues long and is predicted to assume a globular + fold with six strands and four helices (Figure 3). MSF1p' is proposed to be involved in mitochondrial protein sorting [ 27], suggesting that the PRELI/MSF1p' domain may also have a function associated with cellular membranes. Thus, all GOLD-domain proteins can be divided into two architectural categories: the p24-like category, in which the GOLD domains project into the lumen, anchored in the membrane by the membrane-spanning helix (category 1); and proteins in which the GOLD domain occurs at the extreme amino or carboxyl terminus, with additional domains that are known to interact with lipid membranes (category 2) (Figure 2). GCP60, which is peripherally associated with the Golgi membrane, is one of the proteins in the second category that has been experimentally characterized. It has been shown that overexpression of a region of this protein encompassing the GOLD domain caused disassembly of the Golgi structure and abrogated protein transport from the ER to the Golgi [ 16]. These observations can be accommodated by two (not mutually exclusive) hypotheses regarding the functions of these proteins. The GOLD proteins belonging to the second architectural category could function as double-headed adaptors that interact with both a specific protein (via the GOLD domain) and different cellular lipid membranes. Thus, GCP60 and GOLD proteins with analogous architectures could help in the assembly of vesicular or Golgi-membrane-associated protein complexes by tethering specific proteins to the membranes, with the GOLD domain binding the protein targets and the lipid-binding protein to the membrane. Alternatively, at least some of the category-2 proteins could function as a previously unrecognized class of vesicular cargo-loading molecules that associate with the membrane via their lipid-binding domains and deliver their protein ligands via the GOLD domain. The observation that deletion mutants lacking all the p24 proteins still show normal trafficking of certain proteins such as carboxypeptidase Y, suggests that there are some protein-trafficking pathways that are unaffected by their absence. Thus, the GOLD-domain proteins of category 2 may have a specific role in regulating the secretion of molecules that are not affected by the p24 proteins. The hetero-oligomerization of the p24 proteins via the coiled-coil regions carboxy-terminal to the GOLD domain seems to help in generating combinatorial diversity for their interactions with multiple ligands. The presence of extensive coiled-coil segments in some of the category-2 GOLD-domain proteins, such as FYCO1, suggests that they might also form oligomers, like the p24 proteins. Similarity-based clustering and phylogenetic analysis divides the GOLD domains into two primary divisions that precisely mirror the two categories established on the basis of domain architectures (Figure 2). This division was also supported by a synapomorphic (shared derived) feature in the form of two conserved cysteines, which is restricted to the p24 family (category-1 proteins). Likewise, the presence of a specific insert between strand 1 and 2 with a characteristic conserved tryptophan serves as a synapomorphic feature for category-2 GOLD domains (Figure 1). An analysis of the phyletic patterns suggests that the p24 family had already differentiated into at least four distinct subfamilies in the common ancestor of plants, animals and fungi. The detection of multiple members of the p24 family in the early branching eukaryotes such as Cryptosporidium parvum and kinetoplastids suggests that some of this diversification was probably already under way early in eukaryotic evolution. Within the eukaryotic crown group, we obtained evidence of specific instances of duplications and gene losses that are restricted to particular lineages. The most striking case is seen in Arabidopsis thaliana , which appears to have proliferated the Erv25 subfamily (five to six members), but lacks the Erp2p and Erp5p subfamilies. The second major family of GOLD domains (category 2) is so far only attested in the crown group. In fungi, this group is typified by Saccharomyces cerevisiae Osh3p, which combines an amino-terminal GOLD domain with PH and oxysterol-binding domains. The greatest architectural diversity of this group is seen in animals (Figure 2), suggesting that there was increased proliferation and domain shuffling among these proteins concomitant with the evolutionary emergence of the animals. This might correlate with the increased complexity of animal-specific secretory functions. Conclusions A novel -strand-rich domain was identified in numerous eukaryotic proteins, including the p24 proteins, which appear to have a function related to the Golgi complex, secretion or protein sorting. These GOLD domains are predicted to be involved in specific protein-protein interactions. Other than the p24 proteins, GOLD domains are present in several proteins where they occur at the extreme termini and are combined with diverse membrane- or lipid-binding domains. These proteins are predicted to be double-headed adaptors that may help in the assembly of protein complexes on membranes or in the packaging of specific cargo molecules in membranous vesicles. The identification to the GOLD domain may help in a directed dissection of p24-family function and provide novel candidate molecules for experimental studies on secretion and sorting. Materials and methods The Non-Redundant (NR) database of protein sequences (National Center for Biotechnology Information, NIH, Bethesda) was searched using the BLASTP program [ 13]. Profile searches were conducted using the PSI-BLAST program with either a single sequence or an alignment used as the query, with a profile-inclusion expectation ( E )-value threshold of 0.01, and were iterated until convergence [ 13, 28]. Previously known conserved protein domains were detected using the corresponding PSI-BLAST-derived position-specific scoring matrices (PSSMs) [ 29]. The PSSMs were prepared by choosing one or more starting queries (seeds) for a set of most frequently encountered domains (see reference [ 28] for details) and run against the NR database until convergence with the -C option of PSI-BLAST to save the PSSM. We ensured that at convergence no false positives were included in the profiles. This profile database can be downloaded from [ 30] or used on the internet via the RPS-BLAST program [ 31]. All globular segments of proteins that did not map to domains with previously constructed PSSMs were searched individually using PSI-BLAST to detect any additional domains that may have been overlooked. Multiple alignments were constructed using the T-Coffee program [ 32], followed by manual correction based on the PSI-BLAST results. Protein secondary structure was predicted using a multiple alignment as the input for the PHD program [ 15]. Signal peptides were predicted using the SIGNALP program [ 33, 34] and the transmembrane regions were predicted using the TOPRED program [ 35]. Phylogenetic analysis was carried out using the maximum likelihood, neighbor-joining and least-squares methods [ 36, 37]. Briefly, this process involved the construction of a least-squares tree using the FITCH program or a neighbor-joining tree using the NEIGHBOR program (both from the Phylip package) [ 38], followed by local rearrangement using the Protml program of the Molphy package [ 37] to arrive at the maximum likelihood (ML) tree. The statistical significance of various nodes of this ML tree was assessed using the relative estimate of logarithmic likelihood bootstrap (Protml RELL-BP) with 10,000 replicates. Background The eukaryotic protein kinase (EPK) family is one of the largest protein families represented in the human genome. The human genome has been estimated to contain between 500 and 1,000 EPK genes [ 1, 2]. EPKs play key roles in many intercellular and intracellular signaling pathways by transducing, amplifying or integrating upstream signals [ 3, 4, 5, 6]. Upstream signaling events modulate the activity of EPKs through a variety of means that often involve alterations in the phosphorylation of key EPK residues or changes in the physical association of regulatory proteins with the EPK. Signals are typically relayed downstream by the EPK through the covalent transfer of the terminal phosphate group from ATP or GTP to serine, threonine or tyrosine residues of substrate proteins [ 7]. Phosphorylation of the substrate protein then alters its ability to physically interact with other molecules in the cell [ 2, 8]. The key feature that distinguishes EPK family members from other proteins is the sequence of a contiguous stretch of approximately 250 amino acids that constitutes the catalytic domain [ 9, 10, 11]. Although no residue in this region is absolutely conserved in all family members, the presence of most of the signature EPK residues can be used to determine that a particular sequence belongs in the family. The pattern of residue conservation seen within this core of 250 amino acids is thought to be due to selective evolutionary pressure to preserve the major function of this gene family: catalysis of phosphate transfer from ATP to a protein substrate. The solution of crystal structures for several EPKs, some of which include bound ATP and protein substrate, has clarified the functional role of particular conserved residues in binding different portions of ATP and protein substrate molecules, and in regulating these binding events [ 12, 13, 14, 15, 16]. Interestingly, family members exist that no longer retain the characteristic catalytic activity, even though they retain most of the conserved sequence features of the kinase catalytic domain. In these latter cases, the role of the conserved residues in protein function is not known. In addition to orthodox EPKs, there are several other proteins that have demonstrated protein kinase activity but share little or no recognizable sequence similarity with the EPK family. Examples include A6 kinases [ 17], a number of lipid kinase family members [ 18], aminoglycoside phosphotransferases [ 19], pyruvate dehydrogenase kinase family members [ 20], DNA-dependent protein kinase [ 21], ATM [ 22], ATR [ 23], BCR [ 24, 25], a transient receptor potential channel [ 26] and actin-fragmin kinases [ 27]. Although some of these non-EPK protein kinases share a similar overall fold with each other and with orthodox EPKs [ 28], the low sequence similarity between these proteins and EPKs confounds attempts to align the sequences in a single alignment or to perform comparative sequence analysis. Regulation of EPK function can occur at many levels, including control of synthesis, posttranslational modification, binding of regulatory proteins and subcellular localization. One frequently reported mechanism for regulating EPK activity involves phosphorylation of key residues of the EPK catalytic domain by other upstream EPKs [ 13, 29, 30, 31, 32]. In vitro, purified EPKs often display broad protein substrate specificity [ 7], and it is thought that in many cases in vivo substrate specificity is limited by a requirement for substrate to associate not only with its cognate EPK, but also with other components of an EPK-containing protein assembly [ 8, 33, 34]. These protein complexes can consist of signaling proteins involved in several parallel inputs or several consecutive steps in a signaling cascade [ 35]. EPKs frequently contain one or more non-catalytic domains, some of which are thought to serve for docking EPKs to various constituents of these complexes. The presence of multiple potential protein-docking sites in some EPKs allows them to serve as scaffolding molecules around which a protein complex can assemble [ 4, 5, 8]. The assembly and activity of the complex can be controlled by altering the ability of these docking sites to be bound. Some well characterized, physiologically important EPKs, such as ErbB3 [ 36], seem to have lost their enzymatic activity altogether and are thought to function solely as scaffolding proteins. Appreciation of the central role of EPKs in virtually every signaling pathway involved in normal development and disease [ 2] has stimulated much work on individual family members, as well as interesting subsets of the entire family. Progress toward sequencing the genome and transcripts of several organisms has allowed the identification of most of the EPK genes present in Saccharomyces cerevisiae [ 37], Caenorhabditis elegans [ 1, 38], and Drosophila melanogaster [ 39]. A description of the tyrosine kinase subset of human EPKs has been published [ 40], and at least one partial list of human EPKs is available on the web [ 41]. In our study, this progress is extended to include almost all the EPK genes in the human genome. Publicly available sequence data were searched for sequences potentially encoding human EPK family members. For the purposes of this study, the family was defined to include proteins that share a particular previously described pattern of amino-acid sequence conservation [ 9, 10, 11]. As discussed above, this definition includes family members that lack protein kinase activity but may still have important cellular functions that are dependent on retention of a protein-kinase-like structure. Conversely, this definition excludes proteins that have protein kinase activity, but lack substantial sequence similarity to the rest of the family. A conservative mining approach was used to minimize over-counting because of inclusion of splice variants, pseudogenes and sequencing artifacts. In total, 510 known and novel human EPK loci were identified and cross-referenced to publicly available sequence records. Information on nomenclature and genetic mapping was extracted from the sequence records and summarized. The protein sequences of the EPK catalytic domains of the family members were aligned, and the alignment was used to construct a phenogram that illustrates the sequence relatedness between family members. This work represents a nearly comprehensive census and an early bioinformatics overview of this large gene family in Homo sapiens. Results and discussion Searching sequence databases A previously published alignment of EPK catalytic domains [ 11], which is available on the web [ 42], includes approximately 300 sequences from a variety of organisms, along with links to the corresponding GenBank records. The protein sequences from this alignment were used as bait for BLAST [ 43] searches of GenBank [ 44] nucleotide and protein sequence datasets. Human and non-human sequences from the alignment were used as bait to reduce the probability of missing human members of subfamilies that are poorly represented in humans. Hits identified using different bait sequences were consolidated, and duplicate records, including those representing splice and allelic variants, were removed (see Materials and methods). Each hit was manually evaluated for the presence of conserved residues known to be distinctive for the EPK family [ 9, 10, 11], and approved human hits were added to the EPK collection. Non-human sequences were added to the collection only if the corresponding protein sequence was less than 50% identical to any other protein sequence represented in the collection. The sequence-searching process was repeated five times, with the augmented EPK collection resulting from one iteration being used as bait for the next iteration. After removal of probable pseudogenes and sequencing artifacts (see below), the final EPK collection contained sequences representing 510 distinct putative human loci, 12 of which are thought to encode proteins that contain two separate EPK domains. Several distantly related sequences, which often lack some residues thought to be critical for EPK enzymatic activity, were included in the collection, including members of the ABC1, RIO1, C8FW, ILK and guanylate cyclase subfamilies. The hit set was also found to contain a number of sequences with even more remote similarity to EPKs, such as lipid kinases and antibiotic-resistance genes. To simplify subsequent analysis, members of these more distantly related families were not added to the EPK collection. Removing pseudogenes and sequencing artifacts The presence of pseudogene sequences and poor-quality sequences in target data sets tends to cause over-prediction of the number of EPKs present in the genome. Poor-quality sequences often present as novel singleton hits that closely resemble known genes, but encode potential proteins that are missing key residues, or contain apparent stop codons or frameshift mutations within functionally important regions. Removing hits with these features carries with it the risk of filtering poor-quality singleton sequences that represent real novel EPKs. In cases involving poor-quality singletons and other questionable sequences, we implemented consistent curation rules to help discriminate between sequences that probably represent novel functional family members, and sequences that probably represent pseudogenes and poor-quality sequences of known genes. Sequences that appeared to be of very poor quality (three or more internal stop codons or frameshifts observed in any 60-amino-acid stretch) were rejected because these sequences either are derived from pseudogenes or, if they represent functional loci, novel sequence information is obscured by the high levels of noise present in the sequences. In addition, any sequences which were found to contain poly(A) tracts within the genomic sequence were filtered out, because such sequences almost certainly represent processed pseudogenes [ 45]. Processed pseudogenes are thought to arise when mRNA molecules are reverse transcribed and reintegrated into the genome. This mechanism results in the creation of pseudogenes that lack introns and often contain a poly(A) tail in the genomic sequence. The potential significance of pseudogene contamination within the hit set is highlighted by a study of pseudogenes on chromosomes 21 and 22 [ 46] which showed that approximately 20% of identifiable potential protein-coding regions represent pseudogenes. This same study determined that about half of all pseudogenes are processed pseudogenes. The presence of internal stop codons or frameshift mutations was used to identify pseudogenes, but only if the feature could be verified in a sequence derived from a different cloning library. The nucleotide sequence of each hit that contained unverifiable stop codons or frameshift mutations was further analyzed by comparing the nucleotide sequence of the hit to the nucleotide sequence of closely related known EPKs. Comparisons that showed a pattern of nucleotide mismatches between the hit and the known EPK that suggested an absence of selective evolutionary pressure on the encoded protein sequence of the hit were used to filter suspect hits. For protein-coding portions of a nucleotide sequence, natural selection usually imposes greater constraints on the encoded protein sequence than on the underlying nucleotide sequence. As a result, comparing two functional genes that belong to the same family usually shows bias in the pattern of observed nucleotide identity between the genes. For example, a greater fraction of nucleotide mismatches in the third position of codons (the wobble position) will be detected than would be expected from a random distribution of nucleotide mismatches [ 47]. This preference for wobble position and other synonymous (codon preserving) nucleotide mismatches, results in levels of amino-acid identity that are greater than would be expected given the degree of identity between nucleotide sequences and an assumption of randomness in the pattern of nucleotide mismatches [ 48]. The degree of this bias will depend on the protein family and the corresponding functional constraints on the amino-acid sequence. By contrast, comparison of a functional gene with a closely related processed pseudogene will often show no evidence of this codon-preserving bias in the pattern of nucleotide mismatches [ 47]. This is true for processed pseudogenes (which are usually non-functional from their inception) and older unprocessed pseudogenes, because most of the evolution of the nucleotide sequence of these pseudogenes was not constrained by natural selection on the encoded protein sequence. Other pseudogenes may have been inactivated relatively recently in evolutionary history, and may show substantial codon-preserving bias accumulated over the evolutionary period during which the gene was functional. These young non-processed pseudogenes are not readily identifiable on the basis of nucleotide sequence comparisons with known family members, and may pass through this filtering process. In poor-quality sequences, sequencing artifacts occur more or less at random, and not in a manner that respects the integrity of the encoded protein sequence. As a result, comparisons of poor-quality sequences of known genes with the reference sequences for these genes should show no preference for synonymous nucleotide mismatches, and such hits should also be readily identifiable on the basis of the sort of comparison described here. By contrast, poor-quality sequences of novel functional genes are expected to present an intermediate picture, in which nucleotide mismatches that are due to sequencing artifacts show no preference for synonymous substitution, whereas mismatches that are due to evolution will show a preference for synonymous substitution. The degree of codon-preserving bias in these cases will depend on the relative impact of these two processes on the nucleotide sequence. The degree of codon-preserving bias present in a hit was estimated by comparing the percent nucleotide identity between the hit and the most similar EPK with the percent amino-acid identity seen over the same region. We empirically determined cut-off scores for these comparisons that lead to rejection of most independently verified pseudogenes and simulated poor-quality sequences, while retaining all known EPK genes and verifiable novel EPK sequences (data not shown). Comparison conditions were chosen that would lead to retention of borderline sequences in order to reduce the probability of rejecting poor-quality singletons that represent novel EPK family members. Aligning the catalytic domains The sequences of the catalytic domains of all the human EPKs in the collection were manually aligned. Alignment of this family is difficult, because only a small number of residues are recognizably conserved across all family members. As a result, the full manual alignment contains small blocks of residues that are well aligned throughout the EPK family, punctuated by blocks of residues that are aligned within particular subfamilies but not throughout the rest of the EPK family. Although the alignment can be forced in these latter regions, length heterogeneity and poor residue conservation often make several alignments seem equally reasonable, and it is difficult to ascertain criteria for objectively choosing one over the others. To avoid effects stemming from arbitrary decisions on how to handle these difficult portions of the alignment, the full alignment was trimmed to contain only those regions that are relatively straightforward to align. The resulting partial alignment (see Additional data files), which more clearly delineates the key residues that support inclusion of a particular sequence in the EPK family, was used for subsequent phenogram construction. The partial alignment shows that even the best conserved amino-acid positions in the EPK catalytic domain are found to vary in some family members (Table 1). To understand better how different residues can be accommodated at these key locations, available structural data were searched for examples of proteins with non-canonical residues in these positions. Structures and sequences were examined for a representative member of each of the 27 kinase families listed in the Structural Classification of Proteins (SCOP) database [ 49]. In these kinases, 7 out of 10 of the critical residues given in Table 1are completely conserved. Previously, conserved residues and their structural roles have been discussed within the context of subdomains of the canonical kinase catalytic domain [ 11, 50]. Here, this discussion is expanded on the basis of the known structures of the 27 kinase families and the variations in sequence noted in the entire human protein kinase family. Consensus sequence motifs are specified rather than completely conserved residues. Subdomain I comprises the GXGXGXV motif ( = F, Y; single-letter amino-acid code) that forms a hairpin to enclose one side of the triphosphate group of ATP. Among the known structures only G3 varies. G is preferred because of close steric contacts with an adjacent strand. A small conformational change permits the A or S side chains to extend into the binding cavity behind the triphosphate; S hydrogen bonds to the -phosphate. There is less space near G1 and G2, which are directly in contact with ribose and the -phosphate, respectively. Nevertheless, there is also considerable sequence variation at these two positions. Subdomain II contains a conserved K that contacts the -phosphate, whereas subdomain III has a conserved E that forms a salt bridge to the K to stabilize its conformation. Subdomain VIB has the motif HRDLKPXN in Ser/Thr kinases and HRDLXARN in Tyr kinases. Both the D and the downstream basic residue (K, R) are directly involved in the catalytic phosphorylation of substrate. Differences in the binding pocket for the phosphate-accepting residue permit the changes in the position in the sequence and in the nature of the basic residue; the N atoms of the K and R residues interact with the acceptor OH and occupy the same position in space. Subdomain VII has the DFG motif. The D residue ligates Mg 2+which in turn binds the - and -phosphates of ATP. Among the known structures, titin has a D E modification. Unfortunately, only the apo-titin structure has been determined so there is no structure to define how the D E change is accommodated in binding ATP. Subdomain VIII contains the TXXYXAPE motif in Ser/Thr kinases and PXXWXAPE in Tyr kinases as noted previously [ 11]. This motif is critical in stabilizing distinct conformations of the activation loop to form a platform for binding to the protein substrate. The first residue (T, P) lies directly underneath the acceptor residue (Ser/Thr, Tyr). In Tyr kinases, the P residue forces the loop to swing out to properly position the accepting Tyr residue. The last residue (E) forms a conserved salt bridge with an R in subdomain XI. Casein kinase 1 has an E N variant and is missing the salt bridge. The D residue of subdomain IX hydrogen bonds to backbone NHs to stabilize the conformation of the catalytic loop of subdomain VIB. Of the highly conserved residues (Table 1), the Gs of subdomain I show the most variability. Apparently, other amino acids with small side chains can replace the glycines while maintaining the -hairpin conformation of the phosphate-binding loop and avoiding steric interference with ATP binding. Residues in subdomains VIB and VII are directly involved in catalysis and only the most conservative substitutions would be consistent with enzymatic activity. In the entire human protein kinase family these residues are approximately 95% conserved; many of the variants at these positions may lack enzymatic activity. In principle, more variability would be permitted for residues in subdomains III, VIII and IX which play a structural role but are not in direct contact with either ATP or the protein substrate. Nevertheless, these residues are also approximately 95% conserved. Their role in forming linking salt bridges and hydrogen bonds seems to be nearly as critical as that of residues directly involved in catalysis. Building the phenogram The sequence relationship between different EPKs was analyzed by estimating the phenetic distance between each possible pair of sequences and building a phenogram to portray the results graphically. A distance matrix representing the sequence similarity between each pair of sequences in the partial alignment was calculated using the Jukes-Cantor distance correction method [ 51]. A phenogram (see Additional data files) was then built from this matrix, using the neighbor-joining algorithm [ 52]. A dendrogram (Figure 1) that summarizes the results seen in the phenogram (see Additional data files) was constructed by collapsing branches that were relatively well separated from the rest of the tree, and naming the collapsed branch, guided by previously proposed subfamily nomenclature [ 9, 10, 11]. This earlier work suggests that EPKs can be classified into five families (PTK, AGC, CMGC, CaMK and OPK), which in turn can be split into a total of 55 subfamilies. Our work largely corroborates the validity of this classical naming scheme, but adds several names for branches representing sequences that do not fit into any of the previously described subfamilies, or that fall into one of the catch-all subfamilies (such as OPK_Other) whose members do not form a well defined sequence cluster in the phenogram. Sequences that do not cleanly fall into a cluster (singletons) are indicated in blue in Figure 1. The granularity of the classical subfamily naming scheme is much finer for some families (particularly PTK) than for others (particularly CaMK). In an attempt to provide greater resolution of clusters evident in the phenogram, some of the larger subfamilies were split into sets of smaller individually named branches. To facilitate translation between the branch names and the classical subfamily nomenclature, each human EPK is listed in the EPK data table (see Additional data files) along with the name used to identify its parent branch in Figure 1, and the classical subfamily name most appropriate for that EPK. No branch names are supplied for singletons or partial sequences, and classical names are not assigned to sequences that do not clearly fall into any of the classical subfamilies. Nearly all previously recognized EPK subfamilies are represented in the human genome. No representatives were found for four of the classical subfamilies, and one of the subfamilies is represented in humans by a single member. Human members of the AGC V (budding yeast AGC-related protein kinases) subfamily were not identified, but human EPKs assigned to the AKT and SGK branches are approximately 50% identical to yeast AGC V family members. The AGC VIII (flowering plant PVPK1 protein kinase homology) subfamily was also not represented in humans, although the DBF2/DBF20 branch contains members that are approximately 30% identical to plant AGC VIII subfamily members. Obvious human members of the OPK XIII (PKN prokaryotic protein kinases) subfamily were not found, although AJ336398_EPK1 may represent a distant family member, and human members of the ULK branch are approximately 40% identical to bacterial OPK XIII family members. The PTK XXII (nematode kin15/16 related kinases) subfamily was not identified in the human genome, although members of the PDGFR and FGFR branches are about 30-35% identical to known nematode PTK XXII subfamily members. In addition to these unrepresented families, only one member (Ros1) of the PTK XVIII (Ros/sevenless family) subfamily was detected. Each of the other 50 classical subfamilies was represented by two or more human sequences. The distance calculations described above were carried out using only those sequences that extend across at least 95% of the alignment. As the presence of sequence fragments in an alignment is known to skew trees built from the alignment, fragment removal before distance calculation was essential. Unfortunately, this process had the undesired effect of excluding a sizable fraction of family members from tree construction. To provide some information on the subfamily membership of these partial sequences, fragments excluded from the initial construction of each tree were added back into the tree based on BLASTP similarity to the more complete sequences that were used to construct the tree (see Materials and methods). These partial sequences appear in the phenogram (see Additional data files) in parentheses, next to the more complete sequence with which they share the greatest degree of sequence identity. This scheme indicates which branch of the tree the fragmentary sequence probably belongs in, without attempting to assign a branch length from the fragment to the rest of the tree. The overall accuracy of the phenogram is suggested by the clustering of similarly named proteins, the relatively good agreement with previously published categorization schemes [ 9, 10, 11], and the high level of congruence with the previously published tree of human tyrosine kinases [ 40]. In addition, alternative phenograms were constructed using different portions of the alignment and different algorithms (data not shown). In general, these alternative trees are similar to the main phenogram in their gross topology, although they often differ in their details. Most discrepancies involve partial sequences, poor-quality sequences or sequences representing outlying members of the family. The phenogram presented here was chosen because we believe it to have the greatest overall accuracy, even though a few outliers (notably BUB1 and BUB1B) are not correctly clustered. The groupings suggested by the phenogram are based on sequence similarity across the entire alignment, which may suggest categories different from those suggested by considerations of much smaller stretches of residues known to be important for the characteristic functional features of a particular subfamily. Similarly, some EPKs have traditionally been categorized on the basis of residue segments that are important for the distinctive function of the subfamily, but lie completely outside the catalytic domain. For instance, PRKCM and PRKCN have traditionally been included in the protein kinase C (PKC) subfamily, largely because of the presence of a characteristic diacylglycerol-binding cysteine-rich zinc-finger-like domain [ 53]. This domain, which lies outside the EPK catalytic domain of certain members of the PKC subfamily, mediates the modulatory effects of diacylglycerol and phorbol esters on the function of sensitive PKCs. The trees presented here show that consideration of the EPK catalytic domain sequence alone does not lead to tight association of PRKCM and PRKCN with the rest of the PKC subfamily. Cross-referencing to GenBank records GenBank records were associated with each EPK record in order to provide supporting data for the existence, sequence, and transcriptional status of each locus. Readers may also find these records useful for retrieving supplementary information such as links to available literature, genetic mapping, and nomenclature for a particular EPK. Cross-references are provided to GenBank protein, transcript and genomic sequence records, because these data sources tend to contain mutually complementary information. For instance, information about exon-intron organization, non-coding control elements and genetic mapping information are best obtained from genomic records, whereas transcript records can suggest that the gene is transcriptionally active, confirm the predicted splicing pattern, and provide information about the tissue distribution of the gene product. BLAST was used to identify GenBank records that were 100% identical in a 100-residue stretch to EPK sequences in the collection. Matching GenBank records were placed into the most appropriate of three sequence categories: protein, transcript or genomic. Although sequence records in all three categories were found for most EPK family members, occasionally representative sequence records for only one or two sequence categories could be identified. The finding that many EPKs were only represented in genomic or transcript data, but not both, suggests that each of these datasets is incomplete, or that mining one can give rise to artifacts not found in the other. When more than one representative sequence for an EPK was found within a particular category, one of the sequences was chosen as the primary cross-reference for that category. If a RefSeq [ 54] sequence was among the choices, it was chosen as the primary cross-reference, otherwise the sequence with the greatest degree of overlap with the EPK reference sequence was chosen. For each EPK, primary cross-references for each sequence category are provided in the EPK data table (see Additional data files). Retrieving data on chromosomal mapping The extensive annotation present in many GenBank records frequently includes chromosomal mapping information. This information was extracted and is listed in the EPK data table (see Additional data files). Often, when multiple genomic sequence records were associated with a particular EPK, these records contained inconsistent mapping information. This occurred more frequently if the associated records were derived from the HTG portion of the GenBank sequence database. These discrepancies between different records were resolved as described in the Materials and methods. EPK nomenclature GenBank records often contain a list of names that have been used to identify the corresponding locus in the literature, have been chosen by a nomenclature committee, or have been suggested by the record submitter. This information was gathered and reconciled (see Materials and methods). If no accepted name could be found in any associated GenBank records, the EPK was given an interim name that was based on the accession string of associated GenBank records. Permanent names could have been assigned; this task is, however, best left to scientists engaged in more detailed characterization of these novel sequences. The names arrived at through this process served as identifiers in the alignments and trees, and are listed in the EPK data table (see Additional data files). Estimating the number of novel EPKs in the collection is complicated by the incremental nature of gene characterization and imprecision in the definition of the term 'novel'. Because nomenclature and characterization often go hand-in-hand, evaluating the state of nomenclature can provide a rough estimate of the extent to which members of the collection have been previously characterized. Four hundred EPKs could be associated with a Human Genome Organization (HUGO) Gene Nomenclature Committee (HGNC) [ 55] name (such as MAPgK11, RAF1 or PRKCM) or description that implies previous knowledge about the potential function or subfamily membership of the sequence. In addition, 50 EPKs were associated with non-descriptive names (such as FLJ20574, LOC51086 or KIAA0175), that give little information regarding potential function or family ties, but indicate that the submitter believed that the sequence encoded a protein. For 60 EPKs, no name could be found for the corresponding gene or gene product, and an interim name was assigned. This method for estimating the novelty within the collection ignores the occasional unnamed family member whose GenBank annotation suggests probable membership in the EPK family, and the exceptional named family member (RNasel) whose GenBank annotation overlooks similarity to the EPK family. The level of previous characterization for each EPK sequence is summarized in the 'status' column of the EPK data table (see Additional data files). The 400 relatively well characterized sequences described above were assigned a status of '1'. The 50 somewhat less well characterized sequences were assigned a status of '2', and the 60 least well characterized sequences were assigned a status of '3'. EPKs are frequently known by multiple names in the literature, and sometimes the HGNC-approved name for an EPK is not recognizable to researchers familiar with the corresponding literature. To aid readers in locating kinases of interest within the collection, alternative gene names were gathered from LocusLink [ 54] and Online Mendelian Inheritance in Man (OMIM) [ 56] records referred to in GenBank annotations associated with each EPK. These aliases are listed in the EPK data table (see Additional data files). Conclusions Reversible protein phosphorylation was discovered almost 40 years ago [ 3]. Subsequent work has shown that this covalent modification of cellular proteins is involved in the regulation of virtually all cellular functions. Most enzymes that mediate protein phosphorylation are members of a large and diverse evolutionarily conserved gene family. Further evaluation of similarities and differences in the sequences encoding protein kinases will provide significant scientific insights. These include information relevant to structure-function relationships, specificity of therapeutic agents targeting protein kinases, and potential function of uncharacterized family members. The work described here constitutes a summary and classification of the sequences in H. sapiens encoding these enzymes. This census of protein kinases in the human genome provides a tool and framework for further investigation of this important gene family. Materials and methods Sequence comparisons Throughout this study, pairs of sequences were compared to determine whether or not the loci they represent were similar or identical to one another. This was done by performing searches with BLASTP (for protein comparisons and for searching protein datasets with protein queries) or BLASTN (for nucleotide comparisons) or TBLASTN (for searching nucleotide datasets with protein query sequences) using one sequence as bait against a BLAST-formatted database containing the other sequence. NCBI BLAST [ 57] implemented on a variety of UNIX platforms (Sun, SGI, Compaq) was used to carry out all the BLAST comparisons used in this study. BLAST parameters were set to retain low-scoring hits in the output (retain 500 top hits with E -values up to 10,000). Perl scripts were used to parse sequence alignments from the BLAST output and identify the 100-residue section of each alignment that contained the maximum percentage identity obtainable in a window of that size for that alignment. The percentage identity between the two sequences within this optimal window was used to score the similarity between sequences for the purposes of creating the query set used for database searching, database searching itself, duplicate/splice variant filtering, assigning partial sequences to positions within the phenogram and database cross-referencing. Searching public sequence data An initial set of EPK amino-acid sequences was downloaded from Hanks's and Quinn's alignment of EPK catalytic domains [ 11, 42]. This alignment includes approximately 300 sequences from a variety of organisms, along with links to GenBank [ 44] records representing each sequence. The links were used to retrieve the corresponding GenBank records. The GenBank records were parsed in order to obtain the protein sequence, taxonomic information and additional accessions that were used to retrieve the corresponding GenBank nucleotide records. This collection of EPK data was used to create a query protein set that contained EPK catalytic domain sequences that are less than 50% identical to each other within any window 100 amino acids long. Each protein sequence in this query set was used to search the NT, NR, EST, HTG, GSS and STS divisions of GenBank [ 44] release 126.0 using BLASTP (for NR) or TBLASTN (for the remainder of the GenBank divisions). Hits produced by different query sequences were combined and duplicate records, which were identified on the basis of accession, were removed. Taxonomic information for each hit was retrieved from the corresponding complete GenBank record. Additional duplicates, along with splice variants, were identified by comparing all the sequences in the hit set to each other and looking for sequences that were 100% identical in a 100-residue stretch. Sequences meeting this criterion were selectively removed so as to leave only the longest representative from each set of duplicates and splice variants. The resulting filtered hit set was manually reviewed by aligning the protein sequence of each hit with the catalytic domains of known EPKs and looking for the presence of a loose pattern of conserved residues known to be distinctive for the family [ 9, 10, 11]. Approved hits were added back to the EPK collection, and the expanded collection was used for additional rounds of searches. Non-human sequences were included in the EPK query set if the corresponding protein sequence was less than 50% identical in any 100-residue window to any other protein sequence in the collection. Identifying pseudogenes and sequencing artifacts Probable pseudogenes were identified on the basis of the presence of a poly(A) tail at the 3' end of corresponding genomic sequences, the presence of internal stop codons or the presence of frameshift mutations within the catalytic domain. The presence of internal stop codons and frameshift mutations was used to classify a sequence as a pseudogene only if the feature could be confirmed in another sequence derived from an independent cDNA or genomic library, or if the original sequence contained three or more such features in any 60-amino-acid stretch. Comparison of the levels of synonymous (amino-acid preserving) and non-synonymous (amino-acid altering) nucleotide mismatches, between hits containing unverifiable stop codons or frameshift mutations and the most similar registered EPK, was used to identify additional probable pseudogenes and sequencing artifacts. This was done by comparing the percentage identity of corresponding regions between the BLASTN (nucleotide versus nucleotide) and TBLASTX (virtual translation versus virtual translation) alignments. If the BLASTN alignment spanned at least 240 nucleotides, and the percentage identity in the BLASTN comparison exceeded that for the corresponding segment of the TBLASTX comparison by more than 10%, this was taken as evidence that the protein potentially encoded by the novel sequence was under less selective pressure than is seen for known EPK family members, and is therefore probably a pseudogene or sequencing artifact. The length and percentage cut-offs used were determined empirically so as not to eliminate any well supported EPKs from the collection. Aligning catalytic domains and phenogram construction The EPK catalytic domains of all the human amino-acid sequences in the collection were hand-aligned using the Wisconsin Package Version 10 [ 58] SeqLab alignment editor. Phenograms were constructed from these alignments on the basis of distance calculations performed by the Wisconsin Package implementation of the Distances program. The Jukes-Cantor method was used to correct the distance calculation for possible multiple substitutions at a single site. The resulting distance matrix was used to construct a phenogram using the neighbor-joining method as implemented by the Wisconsin Package GrowTree program. Only sequences spanning at least 95% of the partial alignment were included in the construction of the tree. The Nexus format tree file output by the GrowTree program was converted into Newick format using the Tree View program [ 59]. The Newick format tree file was then imported into TreeExplorer [ 60], which was used to build the summary dendrogram (Figure 1) by manually collapsing branches that represented sequence clusters evident in the phenogram (see Additional data files). Placing partial sequences in the trees Sequences that were excluded from phenogram construction because of their short length or high gap content were added back into the tree guided by comparison of the partial sequence with the more complete sequences utilized to construct the tree. The fragmentary sequences appear in the phenogram (see Additional data files) in parentheses, next to the more complete sequence to which they share the greatest degree of protein sequence identity in a 100-residue window. This convention marks the inferred approximate location of the fragment within the tree, but does not assign a branch length from the sequence fragment to the rest of the tree. Cross-referencing to GenBank records Representative records in GenBank which correspond to each human EPK were identified by using EPK protein sequences or virtual translations for BLASTP searches against the NR division of GenBank, and EPK nucleotide sequences were used for BLASTN search against the NT, EST and HTG divisions of GenBank. The BLAST output was automatically searched for hits that showed 100% identity in a 100-residue window. Hits meeting this criterion were associated with the query EPK sequence and placed into one of three sequence categories: protein, transcript or genomic sequence. Hits discovered in NR were categorized protein, EST hits were categorized as transcript, and HTG hits were categorized as genomic. Whether a particular NT hit should be categorized as a transcript or genomic sequence was determined by examining the annotation of the corresponding GenBank record. Nomenclature Names for the EPKs were derived from the 'FEATURES' table [ 61] of GenBank records associated with each EPK. Values associated with the 'gene' qualifiers of the 'gene' and 'CDS' entries were parsed. If no information could be found in these fields, values associated with the 'note' qualifiers of the 'gene' and 'CDS' entries were examined for possible names. If multiple identifiers were found associated with the 'note' qualifier, the first one listed was given the highest priority. When naming information was present in multiple records, data were derived from records according to the following precedence: RefSeq NM, RefSeq NP, other non-XP protein, RefSeq XP, non-EST transcripts, and finally dbEST records. Nomenclature information was not derived from genomic sequence records. If no name could be identified for a particular novel EPK, an interim name was assigned on the basis of one of the associated GenBank accession strings. If a reference transcript record had been associated with the EPK, the accession (minus the version number) of the reference transcript was chosen as the interim name for the EPK. If no transcript records were associated with the EPK, but a protein record existed for the EPK, the accession of the protein record was used as the interim name. If no GenBank transcript or protein records were associated with the sequence, the interim name was formed by taking the accession of the reference genomic record, and appending the suffix '_EPK1'. This latter convention was adopted because a genomic record may contain more than one protein kinase gene or gene fragment, in which case the name of the gene closest to the 5' end of the published sequence would bear the suffix '_EPK1', the next would end in '_EPK2', and so on. In practice, it was never necessary to assign a suffix beyond '_EPK1'. Alternative names for the EPKs were retrieved from LocusLink [ 54], and OMIM [ 56] records referred to from GenBank records that had been associated with the EPK collection. Mapping Mapping data was derived from annotation contained in GenBank records associated with each EPK. Values associated with the 'map' and 'chromosome' attributes of the 'source' entry of the 'FEATURES' table of each associated record were retrieved. If mapping information was found in multiple records, source precedence was assigned in the following descending order: RefSeq nucleotide records, RefSeq protein records, NR protein records, NT mRNA records, NT genomic records, and HTG genomic records. If multiple records tied for highest precedence, the map position most frequently indicated in those records was used. Additional data files Partial alignment of human EPK catalytic domains Well conserved portions of the catalytic domains of the various human EPKs were aligned by hand. The sequences are listed in the same order as they appear in the phenogram (see below), and are numbered in the same order as they appear in the EPK data table (see below). Identifiers ending in '_DOM2' indicate the second EPK domain from a protein which contains two separate EPK domains. Gaps in the alignment are represented either by'.' or '~' characters. This alignment is in PDF formatand should be viewed with a PDF-capable reader such as Adobe Acrobat Reader. Phenogram based on the partial alignment Distances between each pair of protein sequences in the partial alignment (see above) were calculated using the Jukes-Cantor method for correcting for multiple substitutions at a single site. The treewas built using the neighbor-joining algorithm. Sequences not spanning at least 95% of the partial alignment were excluded from initial tree-building and then added back into the final free using BLASTP based similarity estimates (see Materials and methods). Identifiers for these partial sequences appear in parentheses in the tree, next to the more complete EPK to which they are most similar. No attempt was made to assign branch lengths between the partial sequences and the rest of the tree. Identifiers ending in '_DOM2' or '_DM2' indicate the second EPK domain from a protein that contains two separate EPK domains. EPK data table EPK nomenclature, associated GenBank records, and information regarding subfamily membership, novelty and genetic mapping are provided. Each EPK was associated with corresponding records from GenBank that represent protein, transcript or genomic sequences. One representative in each sequence category is provided if available. RefSeq record accessions are provided whenever available. Mapping and nomenclature were parsed from the GenBank records, or formed from representative accession strings as described in the Materials and methods section. Aliases are derived from LocusLink and OMIM records referenced in the corresponding GenBank transcript record. The novelty of each sequence was estimated from the associated GenBank nomenclature and description, and summarized in the 'status' column. EPK family members which have been previously named as EPKs, categorized into an EPK subfamily, or whose description clearly suggests they are EPK family members were assigned a status of 1. EPKs whose names or description suggest that the annotator recognized the existence of the protein without giving a clear indication of its similarity to EPKs beyond a similarity score calculated by automated annotation processes were assigned a status of 2. EPKs whose GenBank annotation did not clearly delineate the encoded protein or its potential function were assigned a status of 3. The tableis presented in comma separated values (csv) format, and is best viewed with a spreadsheet program such as Microsoft Excel. Additional data file 1 Partial alignment of human EPK catalytic domains Partial alignment of human EPK catalytic domains Click here for additional data file Additional data file 2 Phenogram based on the partial alignment Phenogram based on the partial alignment Click here for additional data file Additional data file 3 EPK data table EPK data table Click here for additional data file Background Chlamydiae are obligate intracellular pathogens that infect a variety of host organisms and exhibit individual tissue tropisms within a host species. The availability of complete genomic sequences for different species has provided a contemporary impetus for research to uncover specific relationships of chlamydial genes with the disease process, an impetus that is particularly welcome because the fastidious growth requirements of the organism have made it relatively intractable to experimentation. A number of analyses dealing with the comparative genomics of the chlamydiae have appeared in the recent literature [ 1, 2, 3]. Chlamydiae all progress through a life cycle that is intimately tied to success as a pathogen. The host is invaded by elementary bodies (EBs), which represent the extracellular infectious stage. The newly established EBs develop into intracellular reticulate bodies (RBs) that replicate in anticipation of maturation to EBs, which then lyse the host cell and initiate a new round of pathogen proliferation. Aggressive progress through repetitions of this cycle characterizes the acute disease process. Distinct changes in cell size, chromatin organization, membrane characteristics and metabolic competence constitute endpoints of a reversible developmental profile. A third metabolic stage called persistence is increasingly recognized to attend the chronic disease process [ 4]. The persistent state can be induced in vitro in tissue culture in response to various environmental cues such as nutrient limitation, antibiotic treatment or presence of interferon- (IFN-) [ 5, 6]. All of the latter may act to trigger persistence by eliciting a degree of metabolic starvation [ 7]. In fact, it has been shown [ 7] that even normal blood plasma concentrations of amino acids are sufficiently limiting to infected cell cultures to promote the persistent state. Cells present in the persistent state have been detected in vivo, for example, in the synovial membranes of patients with Chlamydia-associated reactive arthritis [ 8]. Chlamydial cells poised in this state of metabolic latency exist as viable but non-cultivable cells that are 'abnormally' enlarged and which exhibit distinctive morphological characteristics [ 4]. One of the most prominent host protective responses to chlamydial infections has been the production of the T-cell-derived pro-inflammatory cytokine IFN-. This cytokine induces a variety of biochemical changes in host metabolism, apparently designed to thwart the ability of intracellular parasites to gain access to host resources. Relative sensitivity to IFN- varies, with C. muridarum and C. psittaci being relatively resistant compared to C. pneumoniae and the various C. trachomatis serovars. The relative insensitivity in vivo of C. muridarum, compared to human strains of C. trachomatis, is supported by the results of Cotter et al. [ 9] and Perry et al. [ 10]. Conflicts in the literature about the sensitivities of C. trachomatis and C. muridarum isolates to IFN--mediated inhibition have been attributed to strain variation [ 10]. A well documented effect of IFN- has been its ability to decrease the availability of L-tryptophan in host cells. (Other anti-chlamydial effects involve the inducible synthesis of nitric oxide and deprivation of iron [ 11].) Although effective L-tryptophan starvation may resolve an acute infection, a more modulated degree of starvation for L-tryptophan is thought to be intimately involved in the phenomenon of persistence [ 12]. Thus, tryptophan limitation is increasingly recognized as an important factor in a variety of chronic disease conditions. As initially shown by Byrne et al. [ 13, 14] and confirmed by others [ 15, 16], IFN- acts by inducing indoleamine 2,3-dioxygenase, a host enzyme that converts L-tryptophan to L-formylkynurenine. (This broad-specificity monomeric enzyme is different from the non-homologous tryptophan 2,3-dioxygenase in liver [ 17] and brain tissues [ 18].) In addition, IFN- is a potent inducer of host tryptophanyl-tRNA synthetase [ 19]. Thus, the host not only decreases the pool of tryptophan available to intracellular parasites, but the remaining tryptophan molecules tend to be increasingly sequestered by the elevated level of host tryptophanyl-tRNA synthetase. The biological relationship of IFN-, indoleamine dioxygenase, tryptophan limitation and the persistent state of intracellular parasitism extends beyond chlamydial parasites, as illustrated by consideration of Toxoplasma gondii [ 20]. This unicellular protozoan is a eukaryotic intracellular parasite that is subject to tryptophan limitation by exactly the same host mechanism used against the chlamydiae. The result is a generally widespread and asymptomatic state of chronic infection. Even extracellular bacteria such as group B streptococci (tryptophan auxotrophs) are inhibited by the IFN- mechanism of tryptophan limitation [ 21]. In this context, it may be no accident that pathogens such as Enterococcus faecalis, Haemophilus ducreyi, Clostridium difficile and Cl. perfringens are conspicuous tryptophan auxotrophs that maintain full competence for phenylalanine and tyrosine biosynthesis. The broad biological impact of host tryptophan catabolism is further illustrated by the hypothesis that tryptophan catabolism localized in placental tissue provides a mechanism (suppression of lymphocyte proliferation [ 22]) to prevent immune rejection of the mammalian fetus [ 23]. An additional example of the far-reaching consequences of host tryptophan catabolism is illustrated by the potential for persistent immune activation to disrupt the balance between serotonin and kynurenine production from tryptophan, thus linking the immunological network and neuropsychiatric consequences of serotonin imbalance [ 24]. Results and discussion Dynamic gene reorganization and gene flux within the chlamydial plasticity zones Figure 1shows the gene organization in C. psittaci of tryptophan-pathway genes ( trp ), the large toxin gene lifA, a perforin-family gene, and a conserved hypothetical gene that is specific to the C. pneumoniae/C. psittaci lineage. lifA, the trp genes, the perforin-encoding gene and a few other genes can be generally recognized as interspecies residents of a 'plasticity zone' located near the terminus of replication [ 2]. As Read et al. [ 2] pointed out, dynamic events of gene shuffling, gene insertion and gene loss are apparent within this plasticity zone. They discussed the lack of variation in GC content and the absence of evidence for gene transfer, as well as the variation of tryptophan-pathway genes. Substantial variation is also striking with respect to lifA. C. psittaci possesses a single copy of lifA, C. muridarum has three paralog copies, C. trachomatis has a single pseudogene with frameshift mutations and C. pneumoniae lacks lifA altogether. lifA (lymphocyte inhibitory factor) encodes a large toxin that can block production of IFN-. It therefore undermines the host's ability to deplete tryptophan through induction of indoleamine dioxygenase. lifA is of limited phylogenetic distribution, being present elsewhere only in enteropathogenic strains of Escherichia coli [ 25]. The effect of IFN- is dose-dependent [ 26, 27], and different concentration ranges have been shown [ 28] to allow rapid progress through the acute infection cycle (low IFN- concentration), to promote a stable state of persistence (medium IFN- concentration), or to completely resolve the infection (high IFN- concentration). Thus, to the extent that lifA is considered to be a factor, C. muridarum presumably has a maximal capability to block induction of IFN-, whereas C. psittaci has only a partial ability to block IFN- induction via lifA. The amino-terminal portion of lifA (which includes the remnant of lifA remaining in C. trachomatis ) is homologous to the gene encoding a clostridial toxin, and Belland et al. [ 29] have recently demonstrated cytotoxic activities in C. muridarum and C. trachomatis D that are indistinguishable from those mediated by clostridial toxin B. Cytotoxicity was dose dependent with respect to lifA copy number. Belland et al. [ 29] note that if the chlamydial cytotoxin inhibits lymphocyte activation (as does LifA in E. coli ), it would provide a mechanism for immune evasion. Within the plasticity zone shown in Figure 1, C. psittaci has an operon arrangement of genes encoding a nearly complete pathway of tryptophan biosynthesis. In contrast, the plasticity zone of C. trachomatis has only two structural genes of tryptophan biosynthesis ( trpEb and trpEa ), and C. muridarum has no tryptophan-pathway genes at all [ 2]. In addition, both C. trachomatis and C. muridarum have a trpC gene outside of the plasticity zone. C. pneumoniae has no tryptophan-pathway genes present anywhere in the genome. Novelty of the tryptophan operon of C. psittaci The pathway of tryptophan biosynthesis consists of five steps, and we have used the convention [ 30] of naming the genes in the order of the steps, trpA, trpB, trpC, trpD and trpE. The and subunits of trpA are named trpAa and trpAb, and the and subunits of trpE are named trpEa and trpEb. This nomenclature is logical, easy to remember and suited to the modern era of comparative genomics, where gene naming needs to be consistent and to correspond to proteins at the level of catalytic domain (subunit). Thus, trpAaAbBCDEaEb corresponds to the conventional E. coli designations of trpEGDFCAB. The tryptophan operon in C. psittaci is incomplete in that genes encoding the two subunits of anthranilate synthase ( trpAa and trpAb ) are absent. These genes are not present elsewhere in the genome. Hence, no biochemical connection with chorismate as a beginning substrate for tryptophan biosynthesis is apparent (Figure 2). The tryptophan operon of C. psittaci exhibits further striking aspects of novelty. Not only does it contain genes ( kynU and kprS ) that are not components of the classical tryptophan operon, but these genes are not even present in other chlamydiae. kynU encoding kynureninase and kprS (alternative name: prsA ) encoding PRPP synthase are located at the 3' end of the C. psittaci trp operon (see Figure 1). These genes, together with trpB, trpD, trpC, trpEb and trpEa, comprise a compact operon in which all but one gene overlaps its neighbor in the operon (translational coupling). A regulatory gene, the trpR repressor, precedes the tryptophan operon on the amino-terminal side. A second paralog of the tryptophan synthase subunit ( trpEb-2 ) is also present in an extra-operonic location several genes upstream of trpR. The possible functional significance of this paralog as serine deaminase has been discussed elsewhere [ 30]. Host-parasite metabolic mosaic for tryptophan cycling A rationale for inclusion of kprS and kynU in the C. psittaci tryptophan operon can be visualized from an examination of Figure 2. The ability of C. psittaci to synthesize L-tryptophan requires an alternative source of anthranilate (other than chorismate) as C. psittaci lacks anthranilate synthase. Kynurenine, intercepted from the host stream of catabolism, would satisfy this requirement given the presence of KynU. PRPP input is required for the TrpB-catalyzed step, and thus it was necessary for C. psittaci to recruit PRPP synthase ( kprS ) to the operon. The import of ATP (substrate for PRPP synthase) from the host is also probably needed, and the presence of ATP translocases in chlamydial genomes has been documented [ 1, 2, 3]. Alternative sources of ATP, for example, utilization of PEP by pyruvate kinase, are not altogether ruled out [ 31]. Finally, serine import is required for the tryptophan synthase step as chlamydiae are not competent for serine biosynthesis. Figure 2illustrates the mammalian 'kynurenine' pathway of tryptophan catabolism, which is prominent in liver and kidney. The initial step is rate limiting and is catalyzed by either of two enzymes: indoleamine 2,3-dioxygenase or tryptophan 2,3-dioxygenase. The latter is the true catabolic entity, has narrow specificity for tryptophan, and is inducible in the presence of tryptophan, glucocorticoids and heme cofactor [ 17]. In contrast, indoleamine 2,3-dioxygenase has broad substrate specificity and is capable of depleting low-to-normal concentrations of tryptophan if induced by IFN-. The overall host metabolism of tryptophan shown in Figure 2reflects a general potential that is not necessarily realized in all cell types. The ultimate catabolic process to generate acetyl-CoA is a feature of liver and kidney organ systems. 2-Amino-3-carboxymuconate semialdehyde can be considered to be a branchpoint metabolite that either enters committed catabolism to acetyl-CoA or that enters biosynthesis to NAD +/NADP +. In the central nervous system, a number of kynurenine-pathway metabolites are neuroactive and appear to be involved in inflammatory neurological diseases [ 32]. Quinolinate can cause excitotoxic neuronal death. Kynurenic acid, derived from kynurenine by transamination, can antagonize the effect of quinolinate. 3-Hydroxykynurenine and 3-hydroxyanthranilate have been shown to cause apoptotic or necrotic neuronal death in cell cultures [ 32]. In glioblastoma cells (and apparently in human fibroblasts) kynurenine is an endpoint of tryptophan catabolism [ 33]. In human macrophages kynurenine is further metabolized [ 34]. Indoleamine dioxygenase is a rate-limiting step of tryptophan catabolism, and other steps are not known to be induced by IFN-. 3-Hydroxykynurenine is a prominent metabolite in the eye lens (it absorbs UV radiation) and probably supports eye pigmentation in the iris/ciliary body [ 35]. Hence, in some host tissue types, kynurenine is a largely dead-end product of tryptophan catabolism, whereas it has a variety of metabolic fates in other tissues. In either case, kynurenine generally exhibits a conspicuous pool size [ 36]. Thus, although C. psittaci apparently cannot utilize chorismate (for which it has an intact biosynthetic pathway) as a precursor of L-tryptophan, it has the potential to synthesize its own supply of L-tryptophan from host-generated kynurenine, ATP and L-serine. It is of interest that the conversion of kynurenine to anthranilate and the conversion of 3-hydroxykynurenine to 3-hydroxyathranilate are similar hydrolytic reactions. The host enzyme catalyzing the latter reaction is, in fact, a kynureninase which is a homolog of the C. psittaci KynU. Kynureninases have been reported to possess a range of substrate specificities that vary between very high specificity for kynurenine and very high specificity for 3-hydroxykynurenine. The kynureninase of rat and human liver has an order-of-magnitude preference for 3-hydroxykynurenine [ 37], in contrast to a microbial kynureninase that exhibits a very high preference for kynurenine [ 38]. It seems likely that the C. psittaci KynU is specific for kynurenine, whereas the mammalian host may possess isozymes of different substrate specificity in different tissues. An intriguing possible layer of additional complexity involves a competitive relationship between indoleamine dioxygenase and nitric oxide (NO) synthase (type II isoform), which are both induced by IFN-. In murine macrophages, induction of NO synthase requires at least one additional stimulus (such as bacterial lipopolysaccharide (LPS)) that acts synergistically with IFN- ([ 39] and references therein). Metabolite flow to NAD +is proportional to the input availability of tryptophan in murine macrophages [ 40]. Under conditions in which there is induction of both indoleamine dioxygenase and NO synthase, an interplay of potential cross-pathway inhibitions are set in motion as illustrated in Figure 2. Nitric oxide inhibits indoleamine dioxygenase [ 41]. On the other hand, 3-hydroxyanthranilate inhibits both the expression and activity of NO synthase [ 39]. Thus, small-molecule products of each pathway can be mutually inhibitory. Consider a scenario where C. psittaci has parasitized a host niche where 3-hydroxyanthranilate is a prominent metabolite, as in human macrophages [ 42]. The withdrawal of kynurenine from this flow route might undermine the levels of 3-hydroxyanthranilate sufficiently to release the restraints on NO synthase. The consequent increase in nitric oxide production might then tend to limit the availability of kynurenine as a result of inhibition of indoleamine dioxygenase. Although this might at first seem an unfavorable outcome for the C. psittaci parasitism, a finite but minimal supply of kynurenine might satisfy the highly limited metabolic demands of the persistent state. Did the C. psittaci trpoperon originate by lateral gene transfer? The tryptophan operon of C. psittaci is probably derived from ancestral chlamydial genes before modern events of gene reduction occurred. However, as the present-day C. psittaci operon is unique among chlamydiae, it is also possible that trp genes were lost and then reacquired by lateral gene transfer (LGT). As this would have happened recently (after divergence of C. psittaci from other chlamydial lineages), one might then expect the genes to have GC contents different from that of the overall C. psittaci genome (42%). Table 1shows that each operon gene, as well as trpR and trpEb-2, are within the range expected for C. psittaci. However, the GC content of the donor genome could have fortuitously been near that of C. psittaci. If so, one might expect that the top hits returned from a BLAST search of each C. psittaci operon gene would not include other chlamydial genes and would be dominated by one organism having an appropriate GC content. The results (Table 1) show that this expectation was not realized. It is perhaps intriguing that when C. psittaci kynureninase (KynU) was used as a query sequence, the top hits returned from BLAST were the KynU orthologs from man and mouse. Accordingly, the codon usage for the KynU proteins of C. psittaci and Homo sapiens (left half of Figure 3) was compared with the genomic codon usage of the respective organisms (right half of Figure 3). The codon usage for arginine, leucine, proline and valine is distinctive in a comparison of C. psittaci and H. sapiens. The profile of codon usage for these amino acids by C. psittaci KynU clearly matches the genomic codon-usage profile of C. psittaci, but not that of H. sapiens. Thus, there is no evidence for a recent LGT of kynU between C. psittaci and H. sapiens. Deterioration of tryptophan-pathway genes in the chlamydiae Chlamydial species have generally undergone reductive evolution that includes an inability to synthesize tryptophan from chorismate. That the process of reductive evolution is ongoing is suggested by the variability of remaining remnants and by indications that some of these remnants are pseudogenes. At one extreme, C. pneumoniae has lost all tryptophan-pathway genes; C. muridarum has only one remnant ( trpC ); and C. trachomatis has three remnants ( trpC, trpEa and trpEb ). It appears that C. psittaci alone assigns a functional role to tryptophan-pathway genes, but it is a kynurenine-to-tryptophan pathway rather than a chorismate-to-tryptophan pathway. Thus, even C. psittaci is dependent upon host resources (that is, kynurenine) for tryptophan. Figure 4shows a sequence comparison of TrpC from E. coli with those from chlamydial species. Critical residues can be assessed with guidance from X-ray crystallography data (see legend) and invariant residues seen in multiple alignments. Given the presumed lack of selection for function in C. trachomatis and C. muridarum, it would not be surprising to find evidence of unfavorable mutations. Indeed, the mutations H335 S335 ( E. coli numbering) and G385 E385 in C. trachomatis and C. muridarum, but not in C. psittaci, probably reflect unfavorable catalytic alterations (see heavy up arrows in Figure 4). Two changes in C. psittaci, not present in the other two chlamydial species (V292 T292 and S429 T429) are conservative changes that are presumably tolerated. TrpEa from C. trachomatis has clearly accumulated deleterious mutations in contrast to the C. psittaci TrpEa (Figure 5). Comparison of these sequences with that of the well studied TrpEa from Salmonella typhimurium shows C. trachomatis TrpEa (but not C. psittaci TrpEa) to have the following changes at critical residues ( S. typhimurium numbering): G61 N61, G211 R211, F/L212 R212, and G234 K234. In addition, the intersubunit signaling residue G181 has been changed to A181 in C. trachomatis. C. trachomatis TrpEa has a four-residue deletion between R192 and K193 that is unique in our comprehensive alignment of TrpEa. Xie et al. [ 30] pointed out that the elongated branch of C. trachomatis TrpEa, but not of C. psittaci TrpEa, on an unrooted phylogenetic tree of the TrpEa family was consistent with a likely pseudogene status for the former. The rapid deterioration of TrpEa is, in fact, apparent from differences in TrpEa from various serovars of C. trachomatis [ 43]. Thus, serovar B lacks TrpEa altogether, serovars A and C express severely truncated TrpEa proteins, whereas serovars D and L2 express full-length TrpEa proteins (although undoubtedly inactive). The subunits of tryptophan synthase in C. psittaci (two copies, Figure 1) and C. trachomatis appear to have all important residues conserved (Figure 6). This includes conserved catalytic residues and residues that are important for establishing intersubunit and intrasubunit salt bridges needed for formation of the - complex of tryptophan synthase. It appears that there has been rapid deterioration of TrpEa, but not of TrpEb. This might suggest that TrpEb is under positive selection for some functional role other than that of tryptophan synthase. When TrpEb is not complexed with TrpEa, it has substantial activity as serine deaminase. Therefore, present-day TrpEb may function in the chlamydiae as serine deaminase, as has been proposed by Xie et al. [ 30] for some archaea. This is consistent with the total absence of genes in chlamydiae known to encode enzymes with serine deaminase activity. These enzymes include Fe-S serine deaminase (GenBank gi 2501150), PLP-dependent serine deaminase (gi 134387), catabolic threonine deaminase (gi 135723), and biosynthetic threonine deaminase (gi 135720). A very recent paper by Fehlner-Gardiner et al. [ 44] affirms experimentally the predictions made in this paper that TrpEb should be functional and TrpEa should not be functional. Fehlner-Gardiner et al. [ 44] sequenced TrpEa and TrpEb from all human serovars of C. trachomatis. All of the genital serovars expressed TrpEa and TrpEb proteins, but only TrpEb had catalytic activity. Interestingly, the catalytic indole-utilizing activity of TrpEb required a full-length TrpEa. It appears that these TrpEa proteins, although lacking their own catalytic activity, are still functional in maintaining the TrpEb activity. Even though most of the ocular serovars also had a potentially functional TrpEb, none of them would presumably utilize indole in vivo because of the absence of a full-length TrpEa. The authors propose that other bacteria in the microenvironment of genital serovars might be a source of indole, a situation not expected in the microenvironment of ocular serovars. In short, the tissue tropism correlates with ability to convert indole to L-tryptophan in vivo. This seems a reasonable possibility, although it does not explain why most of the ocular serovars have maintained a TrpEb that seems to have resisted reductive evolutionary forces. It would be interesting to know whether the serine deaminase activity of C. trachomatis TrpEb (an activity other than indole utilization suggested in this paper) requires full-length TrpEa or not. Overview of tryptophan-pathway variability in chlamydiae Shaw et al. [ 43] have correlated the variability in the number of tryptophan-pathway enzymes present in chlamydiae (in particular, the subunit of tryptophan synthase) with varied sensitivity to IFN- treatment [ 16] and ease of demonstrating the transition to persistence in vitro. C. trachomatis A, B and C readily develop persistent characteristics following IFN- treatment. C. pneumoniae also is readily converted to persistence with IFN- treatment [ 45]. Tryptophan has been reported to be essential for growth of serovars A, B and C, but not for growth of C. psittaci or serovars D-K and L2 of C. trachomatis [ 45]. Thus, C. trachomatis serovars A-C, but not serovars D-K or L1-L3, have been described as 'tryptophan auxotrophs' [ 43]. Likewise, C. pneumoniae, but not C. psittaci, has been described as a tryptophan auxotroph. Morrison [ 46] has also discussed the possible relationship of genes present or absent for tryptophan biosynthesis and the differential sensitivities of chlamydiae to inhibitory effects of IFN-. Shaw et al. [ 43] imply that C. trachomatis D, L2 and C. psittaci are competent for tryptophan biosynthesis, unlike C. trachomatis A, B, C and C. pneumoniae. This correlates nicely with proneness to persistence and the more demonstrable nutritional requirement for tryptophan in the latter strains, but not the former. However, from the current database information available, it appears likely that all chlamydiae, even C. psittaci, are tryptophan auxotrophs. As the host itself is incapable of tryptophan biosynthesis, the host is not a credible source of any biosynthetic intermediates. It is also noteworthy that only C. psittaci has PRPP synthase, which is needed for provision of PRPP (TrpB step). Thus, there seems to be no basis for the conclusion [ 43] that variations in C. trachomatis serovar pathogenesis can be directly linked to differences in TrpEa, and it therefore seems that the latter differences are coincidental. Differential capabilities for acquisition of the host resources are unknown variables that might distinguish different strains [ 47]. In this context, it seems possible that variation in LifA integrity or copy number could easily explain variation in IFN- sensitivity and the nutritional requirement for L-tryptophan in vitro. Except for C. psittaci, we may be seeing different strains in varied states of reductive evolution with respect to what remnants of genes for tryptophan biosynthesis remain. C. pneumoniae and C. trachomatis B lack genes encoding the entire tryptophan pathway. C. trachomatis D possesses trpC, trpEa and trpEb; C. muridarum possesses only trpC; C. trachomatis A and C possess trpEa and trpEb. The truncation of trpEa in C. trachomatis A and C, the likely pseudogene status of trpEa in serovar D, and the absence of trpEa altogether in serovar B indicates an active ongoing process of reductive evolution. Chlamydial transport of tryptophan, kynurenine and serine The chlamydiae are dependent on host cells for a variety of metabolites that are relevant to the host-parasite relationships of tryptophan metabolism. These include kynurenine, serine, ATP and tryptophan itself. Hence, the nature and variability for transport of these compounds should be of considerable interest. Species of chlamydiae possess one ( C. psittaci ) or two ( C. muridarum, C. trachomatis and C. pneumoniae ) homologs of genes encoding the well characterized hydroxy/aromatic amino acid (HAAAP) permease family [ 48]. Figure 7presents an unrooted radial tree that shows the chlamydial proteins to comprise a distinct cluster. E. coli Mtr (high-affinity tryptophan permease) and TnaB (low-affinity tryptophan permease) comprise one distinct group, and E. coli TyrP homologs make up another distinct group. The chlamydial sequences are approximately equidistant from the TyrP/Mtr-TnaB groupings. These chlamydial proteins might be broad-specificity transporters of tryptophan, tyrosine, phenylalanine and perhaps kynurenine as well. When the Na +-coupled serine symporter SdaC from E. coli was used as a query against the chlamydial genomes, TyrP was the top hit (22% identity). This reflects the membership of SdaC proteins in the HAAAP family. An alternative query, the E. coli CycA serine/alanine/glycine transporter, yielded CT216 as the top hit (only 22% identity). E. coli possesses a Na +-coupled serine symporter, SttT, which is regulated by tryptophan [ 49]. Although this is but one of at least five different transporters for serine in E. coli, sstT encodes the sole serine/threonine transporter in Porphyromonas gingivalis [ 50]. Species of chlamydiae possess two paralogs of SstT, which were judged to be the most likely genes encoding serine transport. Perhaps one favors serine transport and the other threonine transport. Figure 8shows an unrooted tree of SstT proteins. The tryptophan repressor The presence of trpR implies that the tryptophan operon is under repression control by L-tryptophan, and some experimental evidence does indeed show derepression under conditions of tryptophan limitation [ 43]. Starvation for host-derived L-tryptophan, which is initiated by induction of indoleamine dioxygenase by IFN-, undoubtedly triggers derepression of the entire tryptophan operon, including the genes encoding PRPP synthase and kynureninase. Kynureninase from C. psittaci is a key linker between the anthranilate-utilizing TrpB enzyme that initiates tryptophan biosynthesis in the parasite and the host kynurenine foramidase that generates kynurenine. In effect a hybrid host-parasite cycle is generated in which a metabolic stream in the host away from tryptophan is intercepted by a metabolic stream toward tryptophan in C. psittaci. The thoroughly studied repressor protein that regulates tryptophan biosynthesis in E. coli is of limited phylogenetic distribution. In fact, Xylella fastidiosa, C. trachomatis and C. psittaci are the only organisms outside the enteric lineage known to possess trpR. The GC content of trpR was examined for evidence of possible horizontal transfer. Table 3lists the GC content of trpR genes, compared to the GC content of the corresponding genomes. The trpR GC content of each organism corresponded relatively well to the genomic GC content, except for X. fastidiosa where trpR exhibited a low GC content, more similar to that of the chlamydiae or H. influenzae. Does C. psittacihave a regulon controlled by trpR? In E. coli the trp repressor binds upstream of the trp operon and upstream at the mtr transport gene in promoter regions where CTCG or CTAG are important for binding [ 51]. The sstT gene of E. coli is also subject to repression control by tryptophan and a CTCG upstream region has been proposed to be an additional target region for TrpR [ 49]. As C. psittaci has trpR, it seems quite possible that the trp operon, sstT (for serine transport), and tyrP (for tryptophan transport) might comprise a regulon controlled by the trpR repressor. Indeed, CTAG and/or CTCG motifs were found upstream of all these genes in C. psittaci, but the presence of these regions did not exceed random probability sufficiently to justify any concrete assertions. The further use of a computational approach [ 52] to identify the transcription regulatory pattern was also not illuminating. As chlamydial TrpR proteins are the most divergent of TrpR proteins, the motif pattern for DNA binding may also be divergent. Conclusions Chlamydial parasites appear to respond to host mechanisms for restriction of tryptophan availability with a diversity of strategies, the exact nature of which we still know very little. One strategy utilized by C. muridarum employs a three-copy dose of lifA, which could inhibit cytokine proliferation and decrease IFN- production by the host (although at least some IFN- has been shown to be produced in mice infected with C. muridarum [ 53]). Such a strategy would seem to be consistent with acute infections, which can be a successful mode of pathogenicity in some situations, such as high-density rodent populations. In the case of C. muridarum, the mechanism does not necessarily involve blocking the induction of indoleamine dioxygenase and thereby preventing depletion of host tryptophan, in view of some experimental work with the MoPn/mouse model system. The primary effect of the IFN- may not be to cause starvation for tryptophan as anti-chlamydial and anti-proliferative activities of murine IFN- in mouse cells was not reversible by tryptophan [ 54]. It has been concluded in other studies as well [ 55, 56] that host-mediated tryptophan depletion is not an important factor in the MoPn/mouse model system. However, a conflicting conclusion was recently published by Perfettini et al. [ 57] that the inhibitory effect of IFN- in mouse cell cultures and genital tracts seems to be due in part to tryptophan depletion (because inhibition was partially reversed by tryptophan). It has been generally observed that in murine systems indoleamine dioxygenase has not been induced by IFN- under the same experimental conditions that readily induce synthesis of the enzyme in human systems. However, the potential to induce the dioxygenase in murine systems by IFN- exposure has been demonstrated when nitric oxide production is blocked [ 41]. Thus, it seems that the key difference between the mouse and human systems might lie in the details that dictate the balance between the cross-regulated pathways of tryptophan and arginine metabolism (see Figure 2). If so, in human systems the balance favors domination by the indoleamine dioxygenase route, whereas in murine systems the nitric oxide route is favored. Many individual factors could influence the balance, including differential sensitivities of NO synthase to inhibition by 3-hydroxyanthranilate or of indoleamine dioxygenase to inhibition by nitric oxide. In addition, unidentified cytokine-mediated mechanisms undoubtedly await elucidation. In any event, for most chlamydiae the successful implementation of tryptophan depletion by the host is closely tied to chlamydial responses that result in a persistent metabolic state and chronic disease. It would appear that chlamydiae have learned to recognize and exploit tryptophan depletion as an environmental cue that initiates a distinct chain of remodeling biochemistry that promotes long-term viability in a latent state. It is difficult to guess whether the ability of C. psittaci to scavenge kynurenine as a source of tryptophan is a recent innovation in this lineage, or whether it represents an ancient chlamydial strategy that has been abandoned by other chlamydiae. Perhaps the strategy is linked to the particular tissue tropism of C. psittaci. Because the presence of the tryptophan-pathway enzymes varies so markedly, even between closely related stains, one cannot be certain at this point that the tryptophan-recapture cycle is uniquely characteristic of C. psittaci. It cannot be ruled out that other strains of C. psittaci might lack the cycle, whereas some strains of C. trachomatis or C. pneumoniae not yet sequenced might possess it. Different overall host metabolism and different biochemical environments in various tissues undoubtedly influence the availability of kynurenine (as well as other metabolites such as ATP and serine). Hence, tissue tropism must be a crucial factor. It would be interesting to know whether the tryptophan-recapture cycle is capable of providing abundant tryptophan to the parasite, or whether it might be more subtly geared to provision of barely adequate tryptophan for parasites established in the chronic-infection mode. Background Plants respond to invasion by pathogens with an array of biochemical and genetic changes, including the production of reactive oxygen species, antimicrobial compounds, antioxidants and signaling molecules such as salicylic acid (SA) and jasmonic acid (JA). They also respond by the localized activation of a cell-death program, designated the hypersensitive response (HR), and by the systemic activation of cellular and molecular defenses, termed systemic acquired resistance (SAR) [ 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 ] . Second messengers that contribute to the development of the systemic response include reactive oxygen species (ROS), SA, JA and ethylene [ 8 9 10 ] . There is evidence for commonalities between plant responses to pathogens (referred to as defense responses) and environmental stresses (referred to as stress responses) [ 11 12 ] . Despite similarities, however, a plant's response to each environmental challenge is unique and tailored to increasing the plant's ability to survive the inciting stress [ 13 14 15 16 ] . A comprehensive understanding of the networks of genes, proteins and small molecules that underlie plant stress and defense responses requires identification and characterization of the molecular components, including the genes that respond both initially and as the physiological response to the stress or pathogen develops. Several groups [ 17 18 ] have used existing expressed sequence tag (EST) collections to carry out microarray experiments in initial efforts to identify genes whose expression levels change in response to pathogens and various abiotic stresses. However, existing EST collections are not complete and most were derived from cDNA libraries made from plants grown under normal environmental conditions; hence, ESTs representing stress- and pathogen-induced transcripts are likely to be under-represented in them. To characterize the stress/defense transcriptome of Arabidopsis more thoroughly, we sought to identify genes whose expression levels change in response to abiotic stress, known second messengers and bacterial and fungal pathogens. We used the bacterial pathogen Pseudomonas syringae and the oomycete pathogen Peronospora parasitica to evoke the pathogen defense response. The availability of both avirulent and virulent strains of these pathogens facilitates identification of genes that are important for resistance, as well as those expressed during disease development [ 19 20 21 ] . Moreover, both of these pathogens cause severe damage to crops of economic importance, such as tomato and crucifers [ 19 ] . We also treated plants with SA and methyl jasmonate (MJ) because both are important signaling molecules implicated in plant responses to pathogens, herbivory and wounding and they induce different aspects of the SAR [ 22 ] . We used ozone as an abiotic stressor because the plant's response at the biochemical and molecular level shows extensive overlap with the pathogen defense response and includes the production of ROS, as well as induction of HR and SAR [ 23 24 ] . At the phenotypic level, acute ozone exposure (high dose for a short interval) causes necrotic lesions similar to those caused by avirulent pathogen infections, whereas chronic ozone exposure (low dose for an extended period of time) accelerates foliar senescence, producing similar symptoms to those caused by virulent pathogen infections [ 25 26 ] . There is evidence that elicitor-evoked ROS production, called the oxidative burst, is an essential signaling component of the defense response [ 27 ] . Moreover ozone is a component of photochemical smog and itself represents an oxidative stress to living organisms, damaging crops and forests [ 28 ] . There are several strategies for identifying differentially expressed transcripts, including differential display (DD), representational difference analysis (RDA), serial analysis of gene expression (SAGE), enzymatic degradation subtraction and subtractive hybridization [ 29 30 31 32 33 ] . We chose the PCR-based suppression subtractive hybridization (SSH) procedure for several reasons: it includes a normalization step, it enriches for differentially expressed transcripts, and it yields cDNA fragments that can be used directly for the construction of DNA microarrays. We viewed the normalization step as particularly important because a few stress-activated genes, such as those encoding the pathogenesis-related (PR) proteins, are abundantly induced by a variety of stresses, potentially obscuring important stress-specific transcripts expressed at much lower levels. The SSH procedure developed by Diatchenko et al . [ 33 ] has the additional advantage that it exploits the suppression PCR effect, eliminating the need for physical separation of single- and double-stranded cDNAs [ 34 ] . We have cloned and sequenced cDNA fragments representing 1,058 stress-induced genes from eight different SSH cDNA libraries. We describe and discuss the stress/defense-induced genes we have identified, many of which have either not previously been associated with stress responses or are not represented in existing cDNA libraries. Results SSH cDNA library construction Plants of the Arabidopsis ecotype Col-0 show disease symptoms when infiltrated with virulent Pseudomonas syringae pv. tomato DC3000 or when sprayed with the oomycete Peronospora parasitica strain Ahco. The avirulent bacterial strain of P. syringae expressing the avrRpm1 gene elicits a marked HR in Col-0 plants, whereas the P. parasitica strain Emwa elicits a microscopic HR. All treatments, including pathogen infection and treatment with ozone, SA and MJ, were carried out on 3-4-week-old plants. All treatments affect foliar tissue, which was the material used for library construction. To capture a wide spectrum of differentially expressed genes, leaf tissue was collected at different intervals after the treatment and pooled before RNA extraction (Table 1). Leaves were harvested at 1, 3, 6, 9 and 12 hours after acute ozone treatment and at 1, 8 and 24 hours after bacterial infection and after MJ and SA treatments. Because fungal spores take almost a day to germinate and penetrate the host cell, samples were collected at 12 hours, 2 and 3 days in the incompatible oomycete interaction. In the case of the compatible interaction the host fails to recognize the pathogen early and mounts a response only when the pathogen has proliferated extensively (3-5 days). Samples were therefore collected up to day 5 after inoculation. For the chronic ozone treatment, samples were harvested 2,4 and 6 days after exposure. The efficiency of subtraction was evaluated by PCR amplification of a housekeeping gene, that for gyceraldehyde-3-phosphate dehydrogenase ( G3PDH ), and one of several differentially expressed genes. If subtraction is efficient, transcripts of housekeeping genes should be reduced, while those of differentially expressed genes should be substantially enriched in the population of cDNA fragments used for library construction. Figure 1shows that the G3PDH fragment is barely detectable even after 30 cycles of amplification in the subtracted sample, while it is clearly detectable in the unsubtracted sample after 20 cycles. To test enrichment for differentially expressed genes, we amplified the PR1 gene for the biotic stressors and SA treatment, the plant defensin gene PDF1.2 for MJ treatment, and the amino-cyclopropane synthase gene ( ACS1 ) for the ozone treatments [ 9 19 35 ] . The genes tested showed strong amplification in the subtracted samples after 15 cycles of PCR, whereas in the unsubtracted samples the PCR product was seen only after 10 additional cycles (Figure 1). On the basis of the number of PCR cycles required for equal amplification of the corresponding PCR products from the subtracted and unsubtracted cDNA samples, we estimated that the subtracted libraries were 32-64-fold enriched for differentially expressed genes. One of the main advantages of SSH is that it normalizes the cDNA abundance so that cDNAs encoded by genes that are expressed infrequently, but nonetheless differentially, can be identified readily [ 33 ] . The efficiency of normalization is illustrated in Figure 2. The more uniform distribution of hybridization intensities obtained using the subtracted cDNA probe (Figure 2c) reflects the equalization in the concentrations of individual species present at markedly different concentrations in the initial unsubtracted cDNA populations (Figure 2b). Differential expression of genes identified by SSH cDNA clones for differentially expressed genes were identified by successively screening new clones first with the unsubtracted driver cDNA (Figure 2a) and tester (Figure 2b) cDNA pools as the probes, then the forward-subtracted (Figure 2c) and reverse-subtracted (Figure 2d) cDNA pools as probes. The first screen identifies cDNAs corresponding to only the most abundant differentially expressed genes, while the second screen identifies genes that are expressed less abundantly, but still differentially. The results from the four hybridizations were recorded for each clone, and those showing the most marked differential expression were selected for sequencing. Although selecting clones that showed strong hybridization only with the forward subtracted pool was straightforward, it was more difficult to select differentially expressed genes when signals were detected in both the forward-subtracted and unsubtracted pools. We endeavored to select those clones that showed 4-5-fold differential hybridization. However, as this was done by visual inspection, such genes constitute a potential source of false positives. After screening the first three libraries (acute ozone, SA and virulent oomycete infection), we incorporated an additional procedure that permitted us to identify clones already represented in our collection. This was necessary simply because there is significant overlap at the molecular level in plant responses to different stresses and cDNA fragments were being identified and sequenced redundantly. We therefore pooled and labeled aliquots of DNA from sequenced clones, using them to probe each new set of clones. This procedure not only permitted identification of clones representing genes in previous libraries, but also allowed us to monitor the completeness of screening of each library. Figure 3shows that the yield of new clones decreased as the number of clones examined increased, indicating that by the time several hundred clones had been examined, few new genes remain to be identified in a given library. As the libraries were both normalized and enriched for differentially expressed sequences, it is likely that the recovery of cDNAs for differentially expressed genes is reasonably complete. It should be noted, however, that because we screened each new library for clones we had already identified in previous libraries, the libraries are not independent of each other. This procedure might also lead us to miss highly homologous members of multigene families. We cloned and sequenced the reverse-subtracted cDNAs for just two libraries, those prepared from ozone-treated plants and those infected with a virulent strain of the oomycete pathogen. Although we screened almost 600 clones in these two libraries, we identified cDNAs for only 48 differentially expressed genes, most of which encode proteins involved in photosynthesis. Thus it appears that a relatively small number of genes is downregulated by stress and suggests that different kinds of stress downregulate the same genes. Although differential expression of every gene has not yet been tested under every stress condition, of the more than 700 genes tested to date, roughly 90% have exhibited differential expression by either northern blotting or DNA microarray analysis (see Additional data files), each of which has different sensitivity limitations. Some representative northern blots are shown in Figure 4. Because these tests have been carried out under a more limited set of conditions than those represented by the treatments used for library construction, it appears likely that most of the cDNA clones described here represent differentially expressed genes. Sequence analysis of stress ESTs We sequenced 1,461 clones selected for differential expression as described above from among more than 6,000 clones in the eight stress cDNA libraries. On average, 12% of the sequences in each library were redundant (Table 2). The frequency with which identical cDNA fragments were isolated and sequenced was low (approximately 2%), in large part because of the prescreening to eliminate such redundancy. Most of the redundancy within libraries (10%), as well as between libraries (25%), resulted from the use of Rsa I-restricted cDNA fragments in the SSH procedure. Because of the restriction step, two or more different cloned cDNA fragments can represent a single transcript. This type of redundancy was rapidly identified using coincidence of the Munich Information Center for Protein Sequences (MIPS) identifiers. Thus the 1,461 different fragments sequenced identified a total of 1,058 different genes (Table 2). With the information gathered from the MIPS Arabidopsis database [ 36 ] and InterPro protein domain searches [ 37 ] we were able to identify or assign putative functions to about three-quarters (764) of the genes in the stress cDNA collection. More than 290 SSH clones encoded proteins with insufficient similarity to proteins of known function to assign a function with confidence, and we therefore classified them as being of unknown function. The genes of known function were sorted into the 12 primary functional categories [ 38 ] . The distribution of the genes with known or predicted functions is represented as a pie chart in Figure 5. The largest set of genes (15%) was assigned to the metabolism category, while genes involved in cell growth/division constituted the smallest group, comprising less than 2% of the genes. Genes involved in signal transduction and protein destination/storage formed the second (13%) and third largest groups (12%), respectively. Genes implicated in stress/defense response and genes involved in transcription together constituted 20% of the stress cDNA collection (Figure 5). Digital northern analysis EST datasets have been used recently to extract information on gene-expression levels [ 39 40 41 ] . The underlying assumption of such a 'digital northern' analysis is that the number of EST clones is proportional to the abundance of the mRNA used for constructing the library [ 42 ] . Most Arabidopsis EST collections are derived from non-normalized cDNA libraries, making them useful for this purpose [ 43 ] . We recorded the number of EST hits from the MIPS summary report link or by BLAST searches with the Arabidopsis EST database for each clone in our stress collection. Using 1/20,000 as the definition of a rare message [ 44 45 46 ] and knowing that there are more than 100,000 Arabidopsis ESTs in GenBank, we consider genes with fewer than six ESTs to represent rarely transcribed genes. By the foregoing criteria, 577 (55%) of the stress-inducible genes are in the rarely transcribed category and 178 of these (17%) are not represented by an EST in the Arabidopsis EST database. Only 2 (0.0018%) of the genes in the stress cDNA collection are represented by more than 200 ESTs and can be classified as abundantly transcribed. These are the Rubisco activase (A0zUF12, At2g39730) and a polyubiquitin gene (APP-FD09, At5g05320). The remaining 479 (45%) cDNAs correspond to genes transcribed at moderate rate (7-200 ESTs) in unstressed plants. This analysis does not, of course, reflect the stress-altered levels of these transcripts. Nonetheless, it reveals that a significant fraction of stress-modulated genes is not represented in existing EST collections and that many are infrequently transcribed in normal plants, underlining the need to construct specialized libraries. Promoter analysis The number, order, and type of protein-binding sequences present in promoters are major determinants of the differences in expression patterns of genes. Because the transcript levels of the genes represented in the present collection change in response to stress, protein-binding motifs associated with stress-inducibility should be over-represented in the promoters of the stress collection when compared with the total complement of Arabidopsis promoters. We compared the frequency of occurrence of 16 different stress-related motifs in the total collection, and in each library individually, with their frequencies in the total population of Arabidopsis promoters (see Materials and methods). We found that six of the 16 stress-related motifs analyzed were over-represented in the promoter sequences of the stress collection as a whole (Table 3a), and four additional motifs were over-represented in the promoters of at least one of the libraries (Table 3b). The ABRE-like motif, W-box motif, W-box-like motif, SA-inducible motif, the G-box and the TGA motifs were significantly over-represented in the promoters of the stress collection as a whole, compared with the total population of Arabidopsis promoters (Table 3a). The H-box factor (HBF) motif was over-represented in the promoters of genes represented in the virulent bacterial library, heat-shock element (HSE) and Myb4 motifs were over-represented in the avirulent bacterial library, and the Myc motif was over-represented in the SA library (Table 3b). We also looked for combinations of motifs that had been reported to function together [ 47 ] . The G-box and H-box motifs occur together in 31 promoters in our collection ( p = 0.00587). Over all, more than half of the tested stress motifs are over-represented in the promoters of the genes in the stress cDNA collection, reflecting its enrichment for stress-responsive genes. The two ethylene-related motifs (GCC-box and EIN3), and the drought-response element (DRE), AtMyb1, AtMyb2 and AtMyb3 motifs were not statistically significantly over-represented in the promoters of genes identified by the stress cDNA collection. Discussion Analysis of the total SSH library To assess the contribution of the present stress cDNA collection to characterizing the Arabiopsis stress transcriptome, we examined five recent reports of Arabidopsis stress/defense-modulated genes that used either commercial or investigator-constructed cDNA microarrays [ 7 17 18 48 49 ] . Using the accession numbers provided in each publication, we retrieved each sequence from the GenBank database. We then used BLAST at the TAIR site to search the AGI genome database and identified the MIPS code for the differentially expressed genes reported in each of these studies. Once the MIPS code had been identified, we were able to estimate the number of genes differentially expressed in each of these studies and determine the overlap between each group and the stress cDNA collection (Table 4). The extent of overlap between the stress cDNA collection and the subset of stress- or defense-modulated genes ranged from a low of 16% with the 308 genes identified by Maleck et al. [ 7 ] ) to a high of 32% with the 507 genes reported by Schenk [ 17 ] . Thus almost 70% of the genes in the stress cDNA collection have not previously been identified as stress/defense modulated. Conversely, a significant number of genes reported to be induced or repressed in the stress/defense response is not represented in the stress cDNA collection. This may be attributable in part to the stringency of the differential expression criterion (4-5-fold difference between experimental and control expression levels) we used in selecting clones to sequence. As the criterion for differential expression in the microarray studies analyzed was 1.5-2.5-fold over control levels, many genes identified as differentially expressed in these studies would not have been included in our libraries. Although we do not have the information to determine all of the reasons for the limited overlap between previous studies and the present one, we can identify several contributing factors. A major factor is the ability of the SSH procedure to identify genes that are expressed differentially, but at low levels. As noted earlier, more than half of the differentially expressed genes in the present collection can be classified as rarely transcribed on the basis of their representation by six or fewer ESTs among the more than 100,000 Arabidopsis ESTs sequenced. Indeed, almost 17% of the genes in our SSH collection are being entered in the Arabidopsis EST database for the first time as a result of the present work. It seems unlikely that the genes represented on the EST arrays used by Maleck et al. [ 7 ] and Desikan et al. [ 18 ] comprise an unbiased sample of Arabidopsis genes, as genes transcribed in normal plants and at moderate or high levels are more likely to be represented than the rarely, but differentially, transcribed genes that dominate the stress cDNA collection. In addition, there are differences in experimental conditions and in detection sensitivity that undoubtedly contribute, but whose contribution to different outcomes is difficult to assess. But it should also be noted that the overlap between microarray datasets generated using the same conditions and organisms in different laboratories can be surprisingly low, particularly when different microarray technologies are used. Enriched cDNA libraries, such as the one we have constructed, may therefore contribute to the characterization of the stress transcriptome through the construction of standardized specialized arrays. Functional classification of genes represented in SSH libraries We were able to assign nearly three-quarters of the genes to functional groups based on sequence similarities with known genes or motifs (see Additional data files). Although functional assignment based only on sequence homology needs experimental verification, it nonetheless provides a measure of the diversity of the genes in the stress cDNA collection. Genes from all the major functional categories are represented in the collection (Figure 5, and see Additional data files). Genes encoding proteins involved in stress/defense signaling comprise 13% of the genes in the collection. They include genes encoding proteins involved in signal perception (several types of receptor kinases) and signal transmission (G proteins, protein kinases, protein phosphatases, calcium-binding proteins) (see Additional data files). About 10% of the genes (79) in the collection were classified as stress/defense response genes. This includes genes encoding proteins of the antioxidant response (GSTs, peroxidases), the SAR response (pathogenesis-related genes) and cell rescue [ 50 ] . Genes induced in response to other stresses, such as drought [ 51 ] , heat shock [ 52 ] , dehydration [ 53 54 55 ] , and elicitors such as Avr9 [ 56 ] , avrRpt2 [ 57 ] and harpins [ 58 59 ] , were also identified in the stress cDNA collection, underscoring the overlap between the different stress responses Genes encoding proteins involved in moving, modifying, storing and degrading proteins constituted the third largest group (12%) in the stress cDNA collection. Nearly half of the genes (45) in this category (92) are involved in proteolysis (see Additional data files). Proteolysis of important regulatory proteins is a key aspect of cellular regulation in eukaryotes [ 60 61 ] and there is evidence that the ubiquitin-proteasome pathway is important in implementation of the plant defense response [ 62 63 64 ] . Proteosome subunit genes are induced in response to stresses [ 65 66 ] and several regulatory subunits were identified in the stress cDNA collection. The F-box-containing proteins of the SCF complex constitute a family of E3 ligases, key components of the ubiquitin-proteasome pathway [ 67 ] , as are many RING finger proteins [ 68 ] . The RING finger motif is thought to mediate protein-protein interactions and E3 ligase complex assembly. Certain RING finger proteins are rapidly induced by elicitors in Arabidopsis and may be involved in the rapid degradation of regulatory proteins during early stages of pathogen attack [ 69 ] . Four genes encoding proteins with an F-box domain and seven different genes encoding RING/RING-H2-finger proteins, including the elicitor-induced ATL6 -like gene [ 69 ] , were identified in the stress cDNA collection. In summary, the stress cDNA collection comprises a broad repertoire of stress-responsive genes encoding proteins that are involved in both the initial and subsequent stages of the physiological response to abiotic stress and pathogens. Transcription factors and regulatory elements in the promoters of genes in the stress cDNA collection The WRKY transcription factors are involved in defense, wounding, senescence and plant development [ 7 16 70 71 72 73 ] . There are 70 genes with a WRKY domain in the Arabidopsis genome and six of them (WRKY15, 25, 33, 46, 62, 70) are in the stress cDNA collection. These WRKY transcription factors modulate gene expression by binding to W-boxes and W-box-like motifs, which are significantly over-represented in the promoters of the genes in the stress cDNA collection (Table 3a). The bZIP transcription factors are important in the regulation of genes activated by light, UV radiation, pathogen attacks, elicitors, wounding, abscisic acid (ABA) treatment, and SA treatment [ 47 71 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 ] . We identified two basic zipper (bZIP) transcription factors and basic helix-loop-helix (bHLH) transcription factors in the stress cDNA collection. The promoters of a subset of genes in the stress cDNA collection are enriched in G-box and TGA motifs, suggesting that they may be regulated by these bZIP and bHLH transcription factors. Identifying insertional knock-outs or creating antisense lines for these transcription factor genes and using them for expression profiling with microarrays constructed from the stress cDNA collection will facilitate identification of the targets for these transcription factors. Abscisic acid response elements (ABREs) are important during the plant's response to abiotic stresses such as dehydration, salinity and cold, all of which are ABA-mediated [ 82 83 ] . There is evidence that ROS are involved in ABA signaling [ 84 ] . The enrichment of the ABRE motif in the promoter sequences of the genes in the stress cDNA collection may reflect crosstalk among stress signaling pathways mediated by common second messengers, such as H 2 O 2 . The over-representation of the SA-inducible element in the promoter sequences of the genes in the stress cDNA collection, especially those in the SA library, further validates the enrichment of the stressor-specific genes using the SSH technique and suggests that these genes may be regulated by the changes in the levels of SA that occurs in stress responses [ 85 ] . The motifs associated with the hormone ethylene (GCC-box and EIN3) were not significantly over-represented in the promoters of genes represented in the stress cDNA collection. A plausible reason is that SA and ethylene act antagonistically to each other [ 5 ] . The over-representation of the SA-inducible genes in the collection may be correlated with the reduced representation of the ethylene-responsive genes in the stress cDNA collection. The Myb1 motif was identified in Antirrhinum . [ 86 ] , the Myb2 and Myb3 motifs in Petunia [ 87 ] . These sequences have not been verified as valid Myb binding motifs in Arabidopsis . The under-representation of the DRE-like element suggests that genes whose expression is modulated by pathogen attacks and oxidative stress signaling may have minimal overlap with genes involved in dehydration and cold responses. There is evidence that the H-box motif is involved in developmental regulation of flowering, but there is no report of its involvement in stress/defense responses [ 88 89 ] . However, a combination of the H-box motif and the G-box motif has been shown to be important for binding of bZIP transcription factors to rapidly induce defense-related genes [ 47 90 91 ] . The significant over-representation of these two motifs together in the promoter sequences of the stress cDNA collection suggests that combinatorial interactions between these two cis -elements may also be important in the regulation of stress-responsive genes. It is becoming increasingly evident that a major theme underlying eukaryotic transcriptional regulation is combinatorial control [ 92 ] . Identifying the cis -elements and the cognate transcription factors that bind to them during stress or defense responses is the first step towards characterization of higher-order nucleoprotein complexes. Materials and methods Plant materials and growth conditions A. thaliana ecotype Col-0 plants were grown in soil (Scotts-Sierra Horticultural Products Company, Marysville, OH) in 5 cm pots (50 per flat) under fluorescent light 30 W/m 2/s with a 14 h light/10 h dark photoperiod for 3-4 weeks. Ozone treatment Plants were transferred to growth chambers for ozone (O 3 ) fumigation (clean air control plants were transferred to an adjacent chamber under identical conditions except for the O 3 treatment). For acute O 3 treatment, plants were transferred to the experimental chambers 4 weeks after germination, allowed to acclimate for 1-2 days, and then maintained in clean air (controls) or treated with 0.35-0.4 l/liter O 3 for up to 6 h. For chronic O 3 treatment, plants were transferred to the experimental chambers 3 weeks after germination, allowed to acclimate 1-2 days, and then maintained in clean air (controls) or treated with 0.15 l/liter O 3 for 6 h per day for up to 9 days. For SSH experiments, 4-10 leaves were harvested, avoiding the most immature leaves, cotyledons, and the first two true leaves. Leaves from 1, 3, 6, 9, 12 and 24 h time points were pooled for the acute ozone library and leaves from plants exposed for 2, 4 and 6 days were pooled for the chronic ozone library. RNA was isolated as described below. Bacterial infections Pseudomonas syringae pv. tomato ( Pst DC3000), which causes bacterial speck disease in Col-0 plants, was used to infect plants for construction of the virulent bacterial library. The Pst DC3000 expressing avrRpm1 gene induces hypersensitive cell death in Col-0 plants and was used to infect plants for constructing the avirulent bacterial library. The bacteria were grown on King's agar plates at 28C. Bacterial cultures were prepared by resuspending the cells from overnight cultures in 10 mM MgCl 2 to the required optical density (OD 600 = 0.05; 1 OD 600 = 10 9colony-forming units (CFU)/ml). A titer of 5 10 7CFU/ml was used for infiltrations. Leaves were infiltrated on the abaxial side using a 1-ml syringe. The inoculated leaves were harvested 1, 8 and 24 h after inoculation. Equal amounts of tissue were pooled from each time point for library construction. Inoculations with Peronospora parasitica The Ahco strain of P. parasitica was maintained on Col-0 plants and the Emwa strain on Ws plants in a growth chamber with 10-h day at 16C and 14-h dark period at 20C. Fresh spores were collected in water and the inoculum was adjusted to 2 10 4conidiosporangia per milliliter and applied as a fine mist to the seedlings using an airbrush sprayer (Paasche Air Brush Company, Harwood Heights, IL). The sprayed plants were placed in a tray containing water-soaked paper towels, covered with a lid sprayed on the inside with a fine mist of water, and sealed using plastic wrap to maintain the humidity. The sprayed plants were transferred to the growth chamber in which the pathogen is regularly maintained. Control plants were sprayed with water using the airbrush sprayer and were maintained under the same conditions. Seedlings were harvested 1, 3 and 5 days after inoculation and pooled for RNA extraction and identification of genes induced in the compatible interaction between Col-0 plants and the Ahco strain of the pathogen. Seedlings were harvested 12 h, 1, 2 and 3 days after inoculation for the incompatible interaction between Col-0 plants and the Emwa strain of P. parasitica. Salicylic acid (SA) and methyl jasmonate (MJ) treatments Four-week-old plants were sprayed with 1 mM sodium salicylate dissolved in water (Sigma, St. Louis, MO) and control plants were treated with water. Leaves were harvested 1, 8 and 24 h after the treatment. Equal amounts of tissues were pooled from each time point for RNA isolations. Four-week-old plants were sprayed with 50 mM methyl jasmonate (MJ) (Sigma) in 0.001% ethanol and control plants were treated with 0.001% ethanol. Leaves were harvested 1, 8, 24 and 48 h after the treatment. Equal amounts of tissue were pooled from each time point for RNA isolation. RNA isolation Total RNA was isolated from frozen leaf tissue using Trizol (Life Technologies, Carlsbad, CA) according to the manufacturer's instructions. Briefly, tissue was ground to a fine powder in liquid N 2 and homogenized in Trizol (1 ml reagent/0.1 g fresh weight tissue), then allowed to stand at room temperature for 5-10 min. Chloroform:isoamyl alcohol (24:1) was added using 0.2 ml/ml Trizol. Samples were mixed by vortexing and allowed to stand at room temperature for 2-5 minutes more, then centrifuged for 15 min at 10,000 g . The upper aqueous layer was removed to a clean tube and RNA was precipitated with an equal volume of isopropanol. After 10 min at room temperature, samples were centrifuged for 15 min at 10,000 g to pellet the RNA. The pellet was washed with 75% ethanol and resuspended in RNase-free water. The typical yield of total RNA was 50-80 g/100 mg leaf tissue. Poly(A) +RNA was purified from total RNA using PolyTract oligo(dT) columns (Promega, Madison, WI). Suppression subtractive hybridization (SSH) SSH was carried out using the PCR-Select Subtractive Hybridization kit (Clontech, Palo Alto, CA). Experimental and control samples for each treatment were processed simultaneously to reduce false positives. We increased the amount of mRNA to 3-4 g from the 2 g recommended by the manufacturer to compensate for the loss of mRNA during the phenol chloroform extractions. cDNA prepared from the treated samples was used as the 'tester' and that from the control sample as 'driver' for the forward subtraction to isolate fragments corresponding to genes whose expression level was increased following the treatment. The reverse subtraction was carried out with the control sample as tester to isolate fragments corresponding to genes whose expression level decreased following the treatment. The PCR-based enrichment of differentially expressed sequences depends on the number of tester molecules with adaptors ligated to their ends. If the fraction of tester cDNA with the adaptors was less than 25%, ligations were repeated. We designed plant-specific glyceraldehyde-3-phosphate dehydrogenase ( G3PDH ) primers to test the ligation efficiency as recommended by the manufacturer. A G3PDH gene fragment of approximately 300 bp was amplified with G3PDH 3' and 5' primers (GAPA-F: GGTAGGATCGGGAGGAAC; GAPA-R: GATAACCTTCTTGGCACCAG) using the adaptor-ligated cDNA as template. The tester cDNA was also amplified with G3PDH 3' primer and an adaptor-specific primer, which yields a fragment that is 200 bp bigger than the fragment generated with the gene-specific primers. Samples from the G3PDH gene fragment amplifications using the subtracted and unsubtracted cDNA pools were analyzed after 15, 20, 25 and 30 cycles of PCR. Primers to amplify regions without an Rsa I site were designed for two stress-induced genes, the pathogen-inducible PR1 gene (PR1-F: ATGAATTTTACTGGCTATTC; PR1-R: AACCCACATGTTCACGGCGGA), the O 3 -inducible amino-cyclopropane-carboxylate (ACC) synthase gene, ACS6 (ACS6-F: CATAAGTGTTGCGGAAGTAA; ACS6-R: GGCAATGGAACGAACC) and the jasmonate-inducible defensin gene, PDF1.2 (PDF-F: ATGGCTAAGTTTGCTTCCAT; PDF-R: ACATGGGACGTAACAGATAC) [ 9 19 35 ] . These were used to test the subtraction efficiency of the corresponding libraries before cloning. Cloning and differential screening Secondary PCR products were cloned into the T/A cloning vector pCR2.1TOPO (Invitrogen; acute O 3 library) or the Advantage PCR cloning vector (Clontech; all the other libraries) according to manufacturer's instructions. About 500-1000 colonies were picked and grown in 96-well microtiter plates in LB medium with 100 mg/1 ampicillin. The clones were amplified using the nested primers 1 and 2R (Clontech manual) to check for the presence and size of individual inserts. The PCR products were run on high-density agarose gels in duplicate (200 wells/gel) and transferred to nylon filters. The membranes were hybridized under stringent conditions with equivalent amounts of 32P-labeled probes generated from unsubtracted and subtracted cDNAs. Sequencing and sequence analysis Cycle sequencing reactions were prepared using BigDye dye terminator, modified for smaller reactions with Half-term (GenPak, Stony Brook, NY) to conserve reagents. Sequencing electrophoresis was carried out by the PSU Nucleic Acid Facility using the nested 1 or 2R adaptor primers. Each sequence was edited to correct sequencing ambiguities and remove the primer sequence. The edited sequences were used to query the Arabidopsis Genome Initiative (AGI) database using the BLAST sequence comparison algorithms at the TAIR website [ 93 ] . Homologies exceeding 50 nucleotides that showed more than 90% identity to sequences in the database were considered significant. Sequences that failed to show significant homologies were used to query the GenBank (minus EST and BAC ends) database using the BLAST algorithms. The MIPS website [ 36 ] was searched for each sequence that exceeded the significance threshold to gather information, including the genomic location of the clone, the name of the gene, and the number of ESTs. The entire predicted protein-coding sequence of each gene obtained from the MIPS website was then used to search the InterPro database [ 37 ] for identifying protein domains. Northern-blot analysis Total RNA was fractionated on a 1.2% agarose/0.4 M formaldehyde RNA gel and transferred to Hybond N +nylon membrane (Amersham-Pharmacia, UK). Probes were made from PCR-amplified fragments of selected clones using the ReadyPrime random primed DNA labeling kit (Amersham-Pharmacia) with [- 32P] (ICN Biomedicals, Irvine, CA). Blots were hybridized and washed according to standard procedures [ 94 ] . Stress motifs for promoter analysis Sixteen stress-related cis -elements were selected on the basis of their identification in other studies on Arabidopsis stress/defense-modulated genes [ 7 16 71 ] . The frequency of W-box (TTGACY) and W-box-like (BBWGACYT) elements was tested as these are binding sites for plant-specific WRKY transcription factors involved in plant development and plant responses to environmental stresses [ 7 16 70 71 72 73 ] . G-boxes (CACGTG), H-boxes (CCTACC) and TGA motifs (TGACG) are binding sequences for bZIP transcription factors, which have an important role in the regulation of genes activated by environmental cues [ 71 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 ] . We also tested some of the well-characterized stress hormone-responsive motifs, including the ABA-response element (BACGTGKM) [ 95 ] , SA-inducible motif (ACGTCA) [ 96 ] , two ethylene-related motifs, GCC-box (GCCGCC) [ 97 ] and the EIN3 motif (GGATGTA) [ 98 ] . The Arabidopsis Myc and Myb homologs are important in the plant's responses to pathogens, low temperatures and dehydration [ 82 99 100 ] . We tested for the frequency of occurrence of the Myc-element (CACATG) and four different Myb motifs (AtMyb1, MTCCWACC; AtMyb2, TAACSGTT; AtMyb3, TAACTAAC; AtMyb4, AMCWAMC) [ 71 101 ] in the promoters of genes identified by cDNAs in the stress collection. We also tested the frequency of occurrence of two other known stress motifs, the DRE (DRCCGACNW) [ 95 ] , and the HSE (CTNGAANNTTCNA) [ 102 ] to determine the extent of overlap in genes activated during different stresses. Probability and significance calculations for promoter analysis To determine whether a particular motif is over-represented among the promoters of a given SSH library, we first determined the frequency of each motif in the total complement of Arabidopsis promoters using the 1,000 bp upstream promoter files from TAIR [ 103 ] . We then calculated the probability of finding m promoter regions having one or more motifs in the set of n promoters in each SSH library, as well as in the total SSH library collection. We considered a motif to be significantly over-represented if this probability was less than 0.05. These calculations were implemented using Perl scripts that are available from the StresDB [ 104 ] . Additional data files Additional data files including a tableof the digital northern data showing the number of ESTs for each clone in the SSH library, the microarray datafor the response to 1 hour of ozone treatment and five days after virulent oomycete infection, and detailsof how the microarrays were printed and hybridized are available. Additional data file 1 A table of the digital northern data showing the number of ESTs for each clone in the SSH library A table of the digital northern data showing the number of ESTs for each clone in the SSH library Click here for additional data file Additional data file 2 The microarray data for the response to 1 hour of ozone treatment and five days after virulent oomycete infection The microarray data for the response to 1 hour of ozone treatment and five days after virulent oomycete infection Click here for additional data file Additional data file 3 Details of how the microarrays were printed and hybridized Details of how the microarrays were printed and hybridized Click here for additional data file Background Analysis of the initial draft of the human genome revealed that 45% of the sequence is transposable elements [ 1 ] . The expansion of the human genome that resulted from the mobilization of these transposable elements suggests they hold secrets of our evolution and increase the plasticity and variation in our genome. In some cases, transposable elements may have been domesticated by their host to serve clear functional roles [ 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 ] . Most human transposable elements are retrotransposons. Among the retrotransposons in the human genome is the LINE-1 (L1) element. A full-length L1 insertion in the genome is approximately 6,000 nucleotides long and consists of a 5' untranslated region (UTR), two open reading frames (ORFs), and a 3' UTR terminating in a poly(A) tail [ 11 ] . The second ORF of L1 encodes three domains critical for L1 propagation: endonuclease (EN) [ 12 ] , reverse transcriptase (RT) [ 13 14 ] , and a 3' terminal zinc-finger-like domain [ 15 ] . The EN and RT nick a target site in DNA and reverse transcribe L1 RNA, respectively, to integrate into a new genomic locus [ 12 16 17 18 ] ; this process is known as target-site-primed reverse transcription (TPRT). It is believed that the tendency of EN to nick target DNA at the consensus 3'-AA-TTTT-5' exposes a T-rich sequence, to which the poly(A) tail of an L1 transcripts can anneal thereby priming reverse transcription [ 16 19 20 21 ] . A new L1 insertion is usually flanked by short direct repeats derived from the target DNA locus upon L1 integration [ 22 23 ] ; these repeats are referred to as target-site duplications (TSDs). The role of L1 in shaping the human genome is unmistakable. Not only does L1 sequence itself contribute at least 462 megabases (Mb) to our genome (17% of the total length) [ 1 ] , but copies of the Alu and SVA transposable elements and processed pseudogenes are also believed to have inserted into the genome by borrowing the EN and RT proteins encoded by L1 [ 13 20 21 24 25 26 27 ] . In addition to self-mobilization and mobilization of other transposable elements, L1s can also move unique flanking DNA sequence to another locus in the genome in a process known as 3' transduction. This occurs when an L1 transcript reads into a portion of the downstream flanking sequence. This 3' sequence becomes transduced, along with the L1 sequence, to a new genomic locus; a hypothesized cause of the imprecision of the 3' end of the L1 transcript is the weak polyadenylation signal in the L1 element [ 28 ] . Clear indications of 3' transduction have been documented in cases where an L1 inserted into the dystrophin gene [ 29 ] , APC [ 30 ] and CYBB [ 31 ] . All these disease-producing L1 insertions, the boundaries of which were defined by flanking TSDs, contained novel sequences downstream of the L1 sequence itself. In addition, it has been suggested that the multiple copies of exon 9 of the cystic fibrosis transmembrane conductance regulator (CFTR) gene found in the human genome may have proliferated via L1-mediated transduction [ 32 ] . In most of these cases, the progenitor L1 element could be identified on the basis of the sequence of the 3'-transduced DNA segment. A proposed consequence of L1 3' transduction is exon shuffling [ 28 33 34 ] . That is, an exon downstream of an L1 may be co-mobilized with that same L1 and inserted at a new locus such that the exon is integrated into another gene. Moran et al. demonstrated this experimentally in cultured cells by cloning a reporter gene containing a splice acceptor downstream from the polyadenylation signal of an intact L1 element [ 28 ] . This engineered L1 retrotransposed into transcriptionally active genomic loci, allowing the co-mobilized reporter to be expressed after being spliced into a transcript expressed in these cells, effectively creating a chimeric mRNA [ 28 ] . We have previously found that nearly 9% of recent L1 insertions in the human genome have TSDs that are consistent with 3' transduction [ 23 ] . That is, the 3' TSD of these L1s with transduction-derived sequence (L1-TDs) is preceded by a poly(A) tail and located up to several hundred nucleotides downstream from the end of the L1 3' UTR [ 35 36 ] . On the other hand, standard L1 insertions have TSDs that follow a poly(A) tail immediately flanking the L1 sequence. For L1 elements that have 3'-transduced sequence, sibling, progenitor, and/or descendant L1s can be identified by comparing the transduced sequence to the sequence downstream of other L1 elements in the genome. Using a recently developed algorithm, TSDfinder [ 23 37 38 ] , we have precisely identified L1 insertions in the human genome whose sequence signature suggests an L1-TD. We then determined which of these transduced sequences shared high similarity with one or more other genomic loci that were also located immediately downstream of an L1. In this way, we built families of L1s potentially derived from the same progenitor element. We found that many potential family members of L1-TDs were merely duplications. Bona fide transduced sequences were analyzed for functional annotation, such as coding regions of genes, in the human genome. In studying the architecture of the 3'-transduced sequences, we found that only a fraction had a recognizable polyadenylation signal. For some of the other transduced sequences, in lieu of a polyadenylation signal, the pairwise alignment between the presumed progenitor element plus its downstream sequence and a descendant L1-TD ended in poly(A) or a related A-rich sequence. These sequence structures may indicate internal priming of the L1 RT at A-rich tracts of a transcript during the process of TPRT. Results Finding L1-TDs We used the RepeatMasker [ 39 ] and TSDfinder [ 23 37 38 ] programs to identify 6,178 L1 elements that had a sequence structure consistent with 3' transduction in a recent build of the human genome. These L1s had TSDs at least nine nucleotides long preceded by poly(A); they were classified as L1-TDs on the basis of having at least 20 nucleotides of sequence between the end of the 3' UTR and the start of the poly(A) tail that immediately preceded the 3' TSD. These L1-TDs represented 38% of all L1s for which we were able to identify TSDs [ 23 ] . Identifying related L1s For these 3'-transduced sequences to be legitimate, they had to be located downstream of another L1 elsewhere in the genome. Otherwise, the mechanism for their mobilization or duplication in the genome might not be L1-dependent. To test for this, we collected 3 kilobases (kb) of sequence downstream from each 3' intact L1 that we found in the genome [ 23 ] , formatted this collection of 3'-flanking sequences as a BLAST database [ 40 ] , and queried each putative transduced sequence against it (see Materials and methods). When a putative transduced sequence was found to be very similar to the downstream sequence of another L1 in the genome, certain criteria had to be met in order to merit further analysis. First, the two L1s could not be on the same chromosome and adjacent, otherwise the match was likely to be trivial and due to shared sequence lying downstream of both of the L1s (Figure 1a). Furthermore, the downstream sequences had to be equal to or greater than 90% identical (Figure 1b), the length of the alignment had to be equal to or greater than 30% of the putative transduced sequence length (Figure 1c), and the orientation of the matching downstream sequences with respect to the upstream L1 had to be the same (Figure 1a,1d). The start positions for both downstream sequences in their pairwise alignment were required to be within 20 nucleotides of each other (Figure 1e). Finally, if a putative 3'-transduced sequence passed all these tests, we checked to ensure that it was not part of a segmental duplication in the genome (Figure 1f) (see Materials and methods for details). This step was necessary because L1s can be, and often are, part of larger segmental duplications in the genome; in this case, identity between the downstream sequences of two such L1s cannot be attributed to 3' transduction without significant analysis by hand, and the sequence identity will generally continue well beyond the 3' TSD. An inordinate number of our putative L1-TDs were within genomic duplications located on the Y chromosome, whereas only two such occurrences were found on the gene-rich chromosome 19 (data not shown). Generally, the frequency of duplications found on each chromosome was in agreement with a previous study of segmental duplications in the human genome sequence [ 41 ] . Although exceptions to some of the above criteria could be envisaged such that a match to a putative transduced sequence could be legitimate, we settled on these conservative criteria to winnow the results. As outlined in Figure 1, this analysis greatly reduced the number of robust L1-TDs; these remaining L1-TDs were considered bona fide L1-TDs for the purposes of this study. For our final analysis, 28 families remained. In the case of families containing the L1s 12_173 and 2_22677, both of these L1-TDs 'found' the other as a family member; therefore the two families were consolidated into a single family (Table 1, family id 4). Furthermore, we observed some overlap in the families representing the L1-TDs 5_7396, 7_12643, and X_11447. We realized that 5_7396 and 7_12643 were duplicates and pooled them and their family members into the X_11447 family (family id 25). In the end, we found a total of 25 families made up of 63 L1 elements (Table 1). Families of L1 elements The average size of the final high-confidence L1 families was 2.5 members. The length distribution of these bona fide transduced sequences is shown in Figure 2. The vast majority of the transduced sequences were less than 500 nucleotides, and the median length was 290 nucleotides. For each family of L1 elements, we tried to determine the relationship between the family members. That is, an L1-TD is either a sibling of the other family members found, or it is the child of a progenitor element. In addition, an L1-TD could be the progenitor of subsequent L1-TDs, giving rise to composite transduction events. For an L1 to be a bona fide progenitor element of a L1-TD, it must be longer than, or of the same length as, the L1 element of the L1-TD. Furthermore, in order to have been transcribed and transposed to give rise to progeny elements, the progenitor L1 must in principle be long enough to include the internal promoter in the 5' UTR. The majority of L1s in the genome are 5' truncated [ 42 ] , and over time, a full-length L1 may be disrupted by mutation, insertion of another transposable element, or other DNA rearrangements. Consequently, in our set of 25 families, only 10 have a nearly full-length candidate for the progenitor element; their family ids are: 5, 6, 7, 11, 12, 14, 20, 21, 23, and 25 (Table 1). For the remainder of the families, although downstream sequences were similar and TSDs marked the end of aligned sequences, the L1s in a given family were either shorter than the L1 for which a transduced sequence was found, or too short to have been transcribed from the internal L1 promoter. This would imply that, in many of our cases, L1s in a family are siblings that arose from the same progenitor L1. Four of the L1-TDs in our final set appeared to be composite transpositions. That is, we identified an L1 with downstream sequence that matched the proximal part of the transduced sequence, but we did not find any sequence downstream from an L1 that matched the distal end of the transduced sequence. Functional annotation of the transduced sequences We next studied the location of all the transduced sequences in Table 1on the set of annotated 'NT_' contigs assembled at the National Center for Biotechnology Information (NCBI). In particular, we were interested to see if any transduced sequences were annotated as an exon, lending direct support to the mechanism of L1-mediated exon shuffling [ 28 33 34 ] . None of the transduced sequences downstream of any of the L1 family members in Table 1was annotated as an exonic sequence. Of the 63 sequences that make up these families 12 were annotated as intronic sequences. One of the sequences was within 1,650 nucleotides of the start of an mRNA annotation predicted by automated computational analysis (L1 id 13_10012 and gene LOC92404 that is similar to a putative protein-tyrosine phosphatase). Thus, it is possible that this transduced sequence contributes important regulatory elements to the promoter region, influencing the expression of this gene. However, it is important to note that because our studies are confined to relatively young elements with TSDs, our failure to identify such examples by no means rules out exon shuffling by 3' transduction as a potentially important evolutionary mechanism. For example, one such event appears to have occurred 7-10 million years ago (Mya) with exon 9 of CFTR , the caveat being that there is no L1 element upstream of this particular exon in CFTR itself [ 32 ] . In our analysis, we found three transduced sequences with similarity to CFTR exon 9; however, two of them were part of a segmental duplication, and the third had a nearby sequencing gap, precluding assessment of its duplication status. Polyadenylation signals To understand the mechanism by which our set of transduced sequences were mobilized by an L1, we examined them for a polyadenylation signal upstream of the 3'-terminal poly(A) tail. We manually inspected these sequences for the presence of either AATAAA or ATTAAA polyadenylation signals no more than 100 nucleotides upstream of the poly(A) tail that preceded the 3' TSD [ 43 ] . We were able to identify a polyadenylation signal in 11 of our 25 examples of 3' transduction events (Table 2and Figure 3a). For five of the transduced sequences lacking a clear polyadenylation signal, the alignment between the 3'-transduced sequence and family members ended at an A-rich sequence; the 3' TSD of the 3'-transduction event was found immediately downstream of this A-rich sequence in the DNA (Figure 3b). A similar sequence structure was reported by Ovchinnikov et al . for a 3'-transduction event [ 44 ] . Several possible explanations for this sequence structure are addressed in the Discussion. One explanation given by Ovchinnikov et al . [ 44 ] is that the transcripts may have been internally primed at an A-rich sequence (see Additional data file and [ 44 ] ); a different type of internal priming is also required by a current model for 5' inversion of L1s [ 45 ] . If internal priming is a mechanism by which standard L1 transcripts could be copied into the genome, we would expect to find 3'-truncated L1 elements in the genome whose 3' ends coincide with internal A-rich regions of the L1 sequence. To investigate this possibility, we analyzed a set of 332,587 L1 insertions in the human genome [ 23 ] . The 3' end positions of these L1s were pooled into bins of 50 nucleotides along the L1 sequence, and their distribution is shown in Figure 4. The proportion of As in each 50-nucleotide bin of the L1.3 reference sequence is also shown. The great majority of L1 sequences had an intact 3' end, and we observed no clear trend of premature 3' ends that correspond to A-rich tracts in the L1 sequence. It is possible that the L1 sequence has evolved to avoid long internal tracts of As in order to prevent internal priming of the transcript. The L1 consensus sequence has a 40% A content, not including the 5' UTR. We calculated the probability of finding an eight-nucleotide-long tract of As in a DNA sequence with such a sequence composition is 87%. However, the longest stretch of As found in the L1.3 reference sequence is seven (probability of 99%), and there are four such tracts. Finally, we observed that for two of the L1-TDs that do not have a polyadenylation signal, the sequence that the TSDfinder program defined as the poly(A) tail is 'patterned'; that is, the tail is composed of A-rich simple repeats (for example, AAATAAAT...) [ 23 ] . Since these poly(A) tails themselves contain polyadenylation signals, it is possible that their assignments as poly(A) tails are false positives, and the real tail formed by polyadenylation has shortened over time and is not detectable [ 44 46 47 ] . Four of the remaining L1-TDs for which no polyadenylation signal was found appeared to result from multiple sequential transduction events; we did not have family members that align with the 3' end of the transduced sequence to determine whether the poly(A) stretch could have been encoded in DNA. Discussion In this study, we used computational methods to analyze human L1s whose sequence structure was consistent with 3' transduction. The vast majority of these putative L1-TDs could not be thoroughly evaluated for family members because of gaps in the genome sequence, excessive repetitive DNA content, sequence duplications and other practical limitations. Therefore, we are unable to calculate the overall rate of transduction events. Of the putative 3' transduced sequences, 58% (3,562) lacked detectable BLAST hits in our database of sequences downstream from L1s. Possible reasons for this are: first, that the sequence is unique in the human genome and was never 3' transduced (false positive); second, that the sequence has a counterpart in the unsequenced portion of the human genome; third, the loss of the full-length progenitor L1 due to recombination [ 48 ] , or fourth, that the progenitor L1 sequence suffered from extensive mutations that precluded its detection as a 3' intact L1, and therefore, the downstream sequence was not included in our BLAST database. It is surprising how few of the examples of putative L1-TDs can be directly verified by finding either progenitor-progeny or sibling pairs. This can be understood by considering the facts that the human population is highly outbred, and L1 elements are preferentially cis -acting [ 24 27 ] . Progenitor elements for L1-TDs must be transpositionally competent and thus are likely to be relatively young. Their youth means that they are likely to be present in the human population in an 'unfixed' (heterozygous) state and in a relatively small population. Once such an element spawns a progeny element, the progenitor element (as well as the progeny element) has a high likelihood of extinction due to genetic drift; the donor and the progeny elements will be separated from each other by outcrossing (see [ 48 ] for further discussion). Alternatively, Boissinot et al. have hypothesized that full-length L1 elements may be selectively removed from the genome by recombination and thus not be found [ 48 ] . We were unable to build families around a high proportion of our initial L1-TDs because of their residence in duplicated genomic regions. This finding is consistent with data showing an abundance of both interchromosomal and intrachromosomal duplications in the human genome [ 41 ] . It is unclear how many of these duplications are due to errors in genome assembly and how many represent authentic segmental duplications; correctly assembling duplications as a genuine landscape features of the genome sequence is a formidable informatics challenge [ 41 ] . In the future, as better, more accurate, genome builds become available, particularly with regard to the presence of duplications and other rearrangements and the annotation of genes and their promoter regions becomes more thorough and correct, it will be important to repeat this study for the whole genome sequence. Although in a relatively recent genome build we did not find any clear examples of transduced exons, we did find one transduced sequence located less than 2 kb upstream from a putative gene. This particular transduced sequence could contribute to the regulatory regions of that gene. To find examples of exons shuffled via L1 retrotransposition, an analysis similar to the method we used in this study may have to be performed with older subfamilies of L1s. According to RepeatMasker annotation, all the L1-TDs in Table 1are of a primate-specific lineage, and it is believed that the ancestral primate genome, the structure of which is thought to be very similar to the modern human genome, existed 60-70 Mya [ 49 ] . Thus, at the earliest point in time that we can reliably detect intact L1 elements, most human genes may have been largely established. That is, older L1s and older families of LINEs may have had more influence on the exon composition of genes which themselves are generally rather old. Nevertheless, until more complete genome sequences are available for comparative genomic analyses, we can only speculate on the mechanism by which genes have been altered, sometimes contributing to the formation of a new species. Furthermore, although GC- and gene-rich regions generally lack L1s [ 1 ] , it has been hypothesized that at any given time during the evolution of the human genome, L1s have inserted randomly, but over time, they have been selected against in GC-rich regions [ 44 ] . If this is true, it may be difficult to find evidence in our genome of L1-mediated exon shuffling. Some L1s with 3'-transduced sequence lack a polyadenylation signal but a common stretch of As delineate the end of an alignment between family members (Figure 3b). One explanation for this sequence structure is that the transcripts were polyadenylated at the same location, and the polyadenylation signal mutated beyond recognition after the insertion event occurred; interestingly, Ovchinnikov et al . reported that polyadenylation signals tend to degrade rapidly after L1 insertion [ 44 ] . A second explanation is that the poly(A) sequence is encoded in DNA and either the transcript was degraded up to the position of the A-rich sequence or RNA polymerase II failed to elongate the message past the A-rich sequence; the resulting transcript would then resemble one that had been polyadenylated. Alternatively, there may be a propensity for the L1 transcript to break at A-rich sequences, resulting in an A-rich 3' end that would mimic a 3' polyadenylated transcript. Interestingly, a recently proposed mechanism of 5' inversion of L1 elements requires that first-strand cDNA synthesis be primed internally on the L1 transcript [ 45 ] . Therefore, it is possible that the cDNA synthesis of a 3'-transducing transcript may also be primed at an internal A-rich site as suggested by Ovchinnikov et al . [ 44 ] (see Additional data file). Since the L1 EN consensus site is 3'-AA-TTTT-5', the first cut would expose a T-rich sequence on the target sequence from which an A-rich template could be primed for reverse transcription. Indeed, the TSDs for the 3'-transduction events that lack a polyadenylation signal are A-rich at their 5' ends (Table 1), indicating that the target site at which priming occurred would have been T-rich. We did not find evidence of internal priming for standard L1 insertions predicted to produce 3' truncated L1 elements with well defined endpoints. Rather, L1 elements that are 3' truncated were mostly interrupted by insertions of another transposable element. Lack of internal priming on a standard L1 transcript may be due to interference by the L1 ORF1 protein that has been reported to bind specifically to L1 RNA [ 50 ] . Moreover, it is possible that the L1 transcript has a secondary structure that would inhibit an A-rich region from being available as a template for reverse transcription, whereas a 3' tail on the L1 transcript, especially if derived from transduced sequence, may be much more accessible. Finally, in the L1 sequence minus the 5' UTR, the length of the longest internal A-tract (seven nucleotides) is shorter than would be expected by random chance. Thus L1 may have evolved multiple mechanisms to avoid internal priming on A-rich tracts, which would generate defective elements, while allowing it to occur in the flanking sequences, where polyadenylation signals might or might not be found. Materials and methods Identifying L1-TDs The human genomic DNA sequence records used were the set of contigs assembled at the NCBI [ 51 ] as of 29 August 2001 (build 25). L1 elements in the contigs were annotated using RepeatMasker [ 39 ] with a custom library containing only the L1.3 element (GenBank accession number L19088.1); in this way, we dealt primarily with young L1 elements [ 23 ] . The TSDfinder program [ 23 37 38 ] was run on the RepeatMasker *.out output files in order to find the TSDs of the L1 elements, thereby refining the L1 boundaries. Each time a 3' intact L1 insertion was found (no more than 30 nucleotides missing from the 3' end of the 3' UTR), the 3 kb of sequence downstream from the L1 was collected. A total of 72,582 such 3-kb sequences were collected. These sequences were placed into a file and formatted as a BLAST database (formatdb parameters: -n ThrPrSeqDB -p F -V T -o T). During the same run of the TSDfinder program, L1-TDs were identified. To be classified as an L1-TD, the distance between the end of the L1 3' UTR and the start of the 3' TSD had to be greater than 20 nucleotides (not counting the length of the poly(A) tail preceding the TSD nor the number of nucleotides missing from the end of the L1 3' UTR according to the RepeatMasker annotation of the L1 element). The classification of an L1 insertion as an L1-TD was only allowed when a 3' TSD closer to the L1, indicating a standard insertion event, could not be found (see [ 23 37 38 ] ). The coordinates of the candidate transduced regions (the gi record and the begin and end coordinates) were stored for later analysis. Analyzing putative 3'-transduced sequences Transduced sequences were masked to avoid multiple ambiguous matches. The masking was accomplished using the default settings of RepeatMasker [ 39 ] (parameter -xsmall). For 2,085 (33%) of the 6,178 L1-TDs, the putative transduced sequence was nearly completely masked. The blastn program [ 40 ] was run for the putative transduced sequences against ThrPrSeqDB (parameters: -d ThrPrSeqDB -e 0.05 -J T -U T -F 'm D;R' -Z 150). By doing so, we ensured that any significant match in the genome was also downstream of a potential progenitor L1 for any particular transduced sequence. A series of Perl scripts was used to examine the BLAST results (see rationale in Figure 1). To test for duplications, the 3 kb of downstream sequence for each putative L1-TD and the potentially related L1(s) identified by BLAST were collected. These sequences were input into bl2seq [ 52 ] (parameters: -g T -F 'm D;R' -S 1 -e 10 -X 100 -q -1). If the alignment between the sequences extended beyond the end of the putative transduced sequence, the sequence was labeled as a duplication and was not analyzed any further. Some sequences were removed from analysis because of nearby sequencing gaps that precluded a conclusion regarding the duplication status. Finally, for some alignments produced by bl2seq, the alignment was less than 90% identical or was considered too poor an alignment to continue further analysis with that particular set of L1s. The duplication status could not be properly assessed for 154 of the initial putative transduced sequences, and they were consequently removed from consideration. One reason for ambiguity of the duplication status was gaps in the genome sequence; if either the query or the subject L1 had a stretch of more than 50 Ns in the 3 kb of downstream flanking sequence, indicating a gap in genome sequence, these were excluded from the analysis because they tended to interfere with the assessment of duplication and confound the automatic analysis. No proof of mapping to a genomic duplication was detected for 93 of the 6,178 initial 3' transduction candidates and their respective family members. These 93 families were made up of 652 total members. The DNA sequence of each member of these families was collected and multiple alignments among the family members were performed using the clustalx and GeneDoc software [ 53 54 55 ] . Manual inspection of the alignment of the family member sequences revealed that 12 of these families had more than 10 members, and it was immediately clear that the matches with the putative transduced sequences in these families were based solely on patchy alignments of largely low-complexity sequence. For the remaining 81 families, 43 were eliminated because of low-complexity matches only (largely poly(A) sequence) or previously missed duplications in the 3' flank. One of the families was eliminated because both L1 elements were full length, yet one of them had a 131-nucleotide insertion in its 5' UTR and the other did not, indicating that these L1s were not directly related [ 23 56 ] . Finally, for nine families, although alignment of 3'-transduced sequence with a family member was clearly delineated by the 3' TSD, we found sequence duplication in the 5' flank of the L1s. These families with L1s exhibiting identity in the 5' flank were eliminated from further analysis, as the L1s may represent the same insertion event that was part of a segmental duplication in the genome whose endpoint happened to coincide with the 3' TSD. GenBank headers of the appropriate gi record (NT_* contigs) were checked for whether the final, bona fide transduced sequences were included in the annotation of any mRNA or CDS. Adenine content of L1s The L1s used to generate the data in Figure 4represent all L1s that were found in the human genome using RepeatMasker [ 39 ] with the L1.3 sequence as a custom library (see [ 23 ] ). To calculate the probability that the length of a stretch of pure A nucleotides in the L1 sequence was less than y , we used the formula: P(A tract < y ) = e ^(- nqp y ) where n is the length of the L1 sequence, p is the probability of finding an A in the L1 sequence, and q is (1 - p ) [ 57 ] . Additional data files A figure showing how transcripts may have been internally primed at an A-rich sequence is available as a PowerPoint file (Additional data file 1). The model is adapted from [ 44 ] . Additional data file 1 A figure showing how transcripts may have been internally primed at an A-rich sequence A figure showing how transcripts may have been internally primed at an A-rich sequence Click here for additional data file Background The rapid rate of sequence acquisition has revolutionized molecular biology. The sequencing of entire genomes, in addition to new computer-based search tools has allowed us to identify and analyze large sets of data very rapidly. The acceleration of data acquisition, in fields such as whole-genome sequence determination and genome-wide gene-expression profiling, has opened the door for the study of model organisms and organisms of importance to the study of medicine and disease states by allowing for the analysis of the entirety of genetic information in a given organism. The recent completion of the sequencing of the Anopheles gambiae genome provides us with the entire genetic makeup of this organism. Furthermore, the completion of the sequencing of both the Drosophila melanogaster [ 1 ] and Anopheles gambiae [ 2 ] genomes provides the first opportunity for genome-wide comparisons from two metazoans from the same order (Diptera). This presents new opportunities to detect synteny groups and facilitates the comparison of splicing patterns and orthologous sequences between these two organisms. The first K +channel gene identified was cloned from Drosophila . The Shaker gene was isolated by positional cloning of a gene for which a mutation causes a leg-shaking phenotype in anesthetized flies [ 3 4 ] . This gene encodes a six-transmembrane protein (Figure 1) subunit which assembles as a tetramer. This gene provided a molecular probe by which other K +channel genes could be isolated by hybridization, and later, by computer-based homology search. This led to the cloning of different K +channel subunits and the discovery of different K +channel types [ 5 ] . Subsequent to the cloning of Shaker , K +channel genes from the Shab , Shaw and Shal families (later renamed Kv2, Kv3, and Kv4, respectively, for clarity [ 6 ] ) were identified in Drosophila. These sequences are shown in the alignment in Figure 2aand a tree is shown in Figure 3a. Later, other types of K +channel subunits were identified by hybridization, with the conserved pore region generally used as a probe, or by positional cloning using neurological mutants in Drosophila melanogaster and other organisms. Among these channel types were KQT channels, calcium-activated K +channels, inward rectifier K +channels, and the two-pore K +channels [ 7 ] . The sequencing of the Drosophila genome provided evidence that the vast majority of K +channel genes in the fruit fly have been identified, since certain domains within K +channels, particularly the pore region, are readily identifiable by homology. Other K +channel types possess the same conserved pore domain sequence as the Kv and KQT channels. Among the six-transmembrane channels, there are two additional families. The Eag gene family consists of eag , erg ( seizure ) and elk ; one of each is present in the Drosophila genome [ 8 ] . The other 6TM K +channel gene family is the Slo family. These genes encode Ca 2+-activated K +channels of large conductance, intermediate conductance and small conductance: these are thought to be mediated by Slo, slack and SK channels, respectively. These K +channels are shown in Figure 2b. Another family of two-transmembrane K +channels called inward rectifier K +channels exists as well. Although these channels lack a voltage-sensor domain they play an important role in controlling resting potential and K +homeostasis. Between the two transmembrane domains these channels possess a pore sequence homologous to the pore domain found in Kv, Eag, and Slo channel types. Three Kir genes have been reported in Drosophila [ 9 ] . Two of these genes, Irk2 and Irk3 , are quite similar at 54% amino acid sequence identity while a third member is roughly 27% identical to the other two. Finally, although they will not be investigated in this study, a group of four-transmembrane, two-pore K +channels exists. These tandem-pore channels may be involved in a wide range of physiologic processes but are generally thought to mediate leak conductances which influence resting membrane potential. All the K +channel genes mentioned here contribute to K +channel conductance in excitable and/or non-excitable cells. In the nervous systems of insects and other metazoans K +channels are known to play an important role in perception, learning and locomotion. This paper will investigate the genes encoding K +channels of two distantly related Diptera now that their entire genomes have been made public. Results Neutral evolutionary distance values In addition to amino-acid identity we looked at neutral evolutionary distance (NED) values. Values for f2 (the percentage of identical codons for conserved twofold-redundant amino acids - Cys, Asp, Glu, Phe, His, Lys, Asn, Gln, and Tyr) between two aligned proteins are calculated by looking at the codons' third position in positions at which amino acids with twofold degeneracy occur. These values may be more useful for evaluating divergence dates than amino-acid sequence identity because they are silent and mutation occurs in a clocklike fashion, rather than in the bursts that are thought to accompany rapid environmental changes. The f2 values for Kv1, Kv2 and Kv4 orthologs in the fruit fly and mosquito were as follows: 0.69 for Anopheles Kv1 vs Drosophila Kv1, 0.73 for Anopheles Kv2 vs Drosophila Kv2, and 0.69 for Anopheles Kv4 vs Drosophila Kv4. The f2 values for Shaw vs Shaw and other K +-channel genes were calculated, as shown in Table 3. Anopheles Kv3.1 vs Anopheles Kv3.2 gave a f2 value of 0.74. Anopheles Kv3.1 vs Anopheles Kv3.3 gave an f2 value of 0.75, whereas Anopheles . Kv3.2 vs Anopheles Kv3.3 gave a value of 0.69. The f2 value of Anopheles Kv3.3 vs Drosophila Kv3.2 gave a value of only 0.52. The f2 value for the two Shaw genes in Drosophila , Kv3.1 and Kv3.2, was 0.60. Discussion Anopheles gambiae is the most important vector of Plasmodium falciparum malaria in Africa, where nearly 90% of the world's malaria-specific mortality occurs. DDT has been used extensively to control this mosquito. Because the target of DDT and pyrethroid insecticides is the voltage-gated Na +channel [ 15 ] , and considering that the anti-malarial quinine blocks K +channels, insights into the ion channels in the genomes of this mosquito and other insects may be useful for investigating how DDT and other pesticides may be used with greatest efficacy and safety. Using the conserved K +-channel pore as a probe, I screened the entire A. gambiae genome for the presence of voltage-gated K +channels, Ca 2+-activated K +channels and inward rectifier K +channels, as all these channels possess a homologous pore domain. I have identified eight voltage-gated K +channels, three Eag-family, three Slo-family and six inward rectifier channel genes using this search. A greater number of genes within a given family in Anopheles compared to Drosophila can be a result of gene expansion in Anopheles or, alternatively, gene loss in Drosophila . I considered the likelihood of either possibility for these cases, based on the trees that were constructed using neighbor-joining, parsimony, and maximum-likelihood algorithms. K +channels are dispersed throughout the genomes of both Drosophila and Anopheles , although multiple members of a given family are most often clustered. Comparing the gross homology of the two species, both the Anopheles and Drosophila have two major metacentric autosomes and an X chromosome (five chromosomal arms in total). Of the channels focused on here, only Shaker is located on the same arm in both species, namely the X chromosome; however, the locations of other K +channel genes in Anopheles and Drosophila are consistent with previously reported regions of major interarm homology between these species (Table 2). This was true for Shab ( Dm 3L, Ag 2L), Shaw ( Dm 2L, Ag 3R), Shal ( Dm 3L, Ag 2L), KCNQ ( Dm 2R, Ag 2L) and Slowpoke ( Dm 3R, Ag 2R), as well as for Slack , eag , erg , elk , and the three inward rectifier genes, as shown in Table 2. The translocations between autosomes and chromosome X, observed for eag and Hyperkinetic , are notable: these examples raise questions about dosage compensation which will need to be addressed in future studies. There is 78-98% amino-acid sequence identity between the six-transmembrane K +-channel gene products in Drosophila and their orthologs in Anopheles , a value significantly greater than what other studies have calculated (62% identity and 56% in separate studies [ 16 17 ] ) as a mean value for sequence identity between orthologs in these two organisms. Amino-acid sequence identity of 78-98% is an impressive figure, given that these two organisms are thought to have diverged 250 million years ago [ 16 ] . Although this value may be slightly higher than the true value, as uncertainties resulting from splicing boundaries led us to disregard the more variable amino-and carboxy-terminal extreme ends, the sequence identities for the Drosophila and Anopheles K +-channel orthologs over the core regions for K +-channel sequences are well above the mean values calculated by the other groups for orthologs between these species. It suggests that K +-channel genes are subject to a stricter selection pressure than other genes in these organisms. This is consistent with the observation that transporters and channels are among the proteins with highest sequence similarity between Anopheles and Drosophila [ 17 ] . Of the four voltage-gated K +-channel types Kv1-4, the Shaker , or Kv1 channel gene is, from a genomic perspective, arguably the most complex. Shaker from Drosophila is a gene with at least 11 exons and spanning over 16 kb. Exons are short in the Anopheles ortholog of Shaker as well, as it was not possible to find an exon encoding more than 75 amino acids in this gene. The presence of more than one pore region in Anopheles Shaker suggests that sequence diversity can be generated in an integral part of the internal segments of the channel, rather than what has been reported for Drosophila Shaker - splicing at the 5' and 3' ends [ 18 19 ] . Alternative splicing at the pore region occurs in another arthropod, the lobster Panulirus interruptus . Functional channels translated from genes with either of the two splice variants were expressed and exhibited different electrophysiological and pharmacological properties [ 13 ] . It is tempting to assume that the two transcripts with the two variable pore-regions in Anopheles would encode channels with different properties as well, although this would be premature until it is shown that both exons are transcribed. An exon encoding the region containing the pore exists in Drosophila , yet no transcripts could be found containing this putative exon [ 20 ] . In the coding region, the Shal and Shab genes from Anopheles and Drosophila are made up of longer exons than the Shaker gene. The lack of more than one splice variant at central regions of the Shal protein suggests that splicing may be confined to the 5' and 3' regions of this gene. Although evidence of microsynteny was found for the region surrounding Shal , flanking genes of the other channels did not provide evidence of microsynteny between Anopheles and Drosophila at these regions. The identification of three Kv3 ( Shaw ) family K +-channel genes in Anopheles (but only two in Drosophila ) is intriguing. In mammals, this family of K +channels activates at potentials considerably more positive than observed in other K +channel types; these channels have the ability to produce currents that can specifically enable fast repolarization of action potentials without compromising spike initiation or height [ 21 ] . Also, these channels are localized at specialized regions in mammalian brain associated with higher-order cognitive functions, such as the thalamus and cortex [ 22 ] . Furthermore, Kv3 channel sequence identities are lower between Drosophila and mammals than are other K +-channel types. The identification of multiple Kv3 channel genes, but only single members of the Kv1, Kv2 and Kv4 families, in Diptera (two in Drosophila and three in Anopheles ) raises questions about the evolutionary history of Kv3 K +channel genes. In some organisms with very primitive nervous systems, such as Polyorchis penicillatus (jellyfish, phylum Cnidaria) at least two Shaker (Kv1)-family genes exist [ 23 ] ; moreover, in the electric fish Apteronotus the Kv1 (Shaker) family is the most diverse, with at least 10 members [ 24 ] . One can predict from the protein and DNA similarity that Kv3.1 and Kv3.2 from Anopheles diverged recently. The previously published Drosophila Kv3 (Shaw) protein is 88% identical to the Anopheles Kv3.1 and Kv3.2 sequences, but only 70% identical to the Anopheles predicted Kv3.3 gene product. Regarding the relationships between Dm Kv3.1 and the two Anopheles genes Ag Kv3.1 and Ag Kv3.2, this paper has already stated that the ancestral sequence at the node representing the divergence of these two Anopheles genes is the true ortholog of Dm Kv3.1 (gi 158460). Given the awkwardness of comparing an extant gene (for example Dm Kv3.1) to its ancestral ortholog, it may suit the genomics and/or evolutionary community to devise new terminology for such cases. In relation to the Drosophila Kv3.1, the terms 'novolog' (corresponding to Ag Kv3.1 or Ag Kv3.2) and 'archaelog' (corresponding to the ancestral gene represented by the node from which the two Anopheles genes diverged) might be useful; these terms, as presented here, would apply to cases in which contemporaneous orthologs do not exist between two organisms, as opposed to the general phenomena of duplication and divergence. In the light of the high amino-acid identity, roughly 87%, the low f2 value of 0.51 for Anopheles Kv3.3 and its ortholog in Drosophila (as opposed to an f2 value of 0.69 for Anopheles Kv1 vs Drosophila Kv1, 0.73 for Anopheles Kv2 vs Drosophila Kv2, or 0.70 for Anopheles Kv4 vs Drosophila Kv4) suggests these two genes diverged longer ago than would be predicted by the amino-acid identity alone, and that selective pressure has prevented the two sequences from diverging; homoplasy may explain their high amino-acid identity and low third-position (f2) identity. The f2 value comparing Kv3.1 vs Kv3.3 from the mosquito is 0.75, higher than expected, considering that amino-acid identity between the two (64%) is significantly lower than that observed between Anopheles Kv3.3 and its Drosophila ortholog. It is likely that different K+ channel subunits within the same family would provide the potential to generate many K +-channel tetramer combinations. This would allow greater variation and specificity of Kv3 channels, as K +channel subunits within a family can readily form functional heteromultimeric channels [ 25 ] . The number of XXR repeats of the voltage-sensor (where X is a hydrophobic residue and R represents arginine within the voltage-sensor) in non-vertebrate Kv3 K +channels is of interest. The presence of four such repeats in invertebrate Kv3 channels and six in vertebrate Kv3 K +channels may help explain the difference in voltage-dependence observed between the mammalian and fly Kv3 channels, as even single amino-acid mutations in this domain can affect voltage-dependence of K +channels considerably [ 26 ] . The greater PAM distance between Drosophila and mammalian Kv3 channels (PAM distance 65) compared to Kv1, Kv2, or Kv4 (for which the intra-family PAM distances between Drosophila and mammalian channel sequences range from 25-40) shows that Kv3 channels have undergone more extensive adaptation than other K +-channel families. It can be inferred that the greater complexity of the vertebrate brain made necessary a rapidly deactivating, high-threshold K +-channel type which has not evolved in protostomes; indeed, given the biophysical properties of Kv3 channels in mammals, the amino-acid replacements that have occurred in mammalian Kv3 channels seem to have provided exactly this. Like the Kv3 ( Shaw ) family, KQT (KCNQ) K +-channel genes are more abundant in Anopheles than in Drosophila . Sequence analysis suggests these channels evolved before other classical voltage-gated K +channels (Kv1-K4). The neighbor-joining (Figure 3a) and maximum-likelihood trees we constructed, in combination with the fact that mammalian KCNQ1 and Anopheles KCNQ2 gene products share a striking 75% identity (despite the divergence of protostomes and deuterostomes close to 700 million years ago), suggest that gene loss in Drosophila , specifically loss of an ancestral KCNQ2 (mammalian KCNQ1 ), is the cause of this difference, rather than gene expansion in Anopheles , which may be the case for the Kv3 and Irk3 (Figure 3b) gene families. Alternatively, lateral transfer of KCNQ1 from mammals to Anopheles must be considered, given the intimate relationship of these organisms. Although the genome size of Anopheles is twice the size of the Drosophila genome, the numbers of genes in both organisms are nearly equivalent [ 17 ] , suggesting that gene duplication depends on the advantage of additional genes in distinct families, rather than a general consequence of possessing a larger genome. Unlike other K +-channel types, for which amino and carboxyl termini are highly variable, KQT channel sequences are even more highly conserved in some regions of the cytoplasmic carboxy-terminal region than in the conserved pore region. The presence of two potential splice variants within the carboxy-terminal tail raises questions about the role of this domain in channel function. Although the physiologic significance of this region is not yet known, evidence suggests it may be involved in calmodulin binding [ 27 ] . For this region one homologous gene product can be found in Drosophila , KCNQ, which raises questions about whether products of this gene mediate the M-current, as has been postulated for KCNQ2 and KCNQ3 in mammals [ 28 ] . The greater number of inward rectifier K +-channel genes in Anopheles compared to Drosophila is striking, given that these organisms belong to the same order. Our analysis, based on maximum-likelihood and neighbor-joining algorithms, suggests that gene duplication in Anopheles is the most likely explanation for the greater number of Irk3 genes in mosquito. This also appears to be the case for Irk2.1 and Irk2.2 ; however, from the tree (Figure 3b) it appears that the divergence of Irk2.3 from Irk2.1 and Irk2.2 in the mosquito occurred earlier than the divergence of Drosophila Irk2 and the two Anopheles genes Irk2.1 and Irk2.1 , suggesting that gene loss in Drosophila may have occurred. The same tree topology was supported by both neighbor-joining and maximum-likelihood trees, though lack of a clear ortholog from a more distant organism (for example, a deuterostome) makes this type of assessment, regarding gene history, more difficult. Future studies may help explain why the mosquito has twice as many of the inward rectifier genes as the fruit fly. Gene expansion in Anopheles has been observed for genes involved in hematophagy and insecticide resistance; it is unclear to what extent these two factors are involved here, although ion channels are clearly targets of insecticides. The overall compositions of K +-channel genes in Anopheles and Drosophila are strikingly similar in some respects, such as conservation of sequence and intron-exon boundaries of orthologs, and strikingly different in others, such as the number of Irk homologs and lack of microsynteny. The genome projects of other insects, such as Manduca sexta and Bombyx mori , will help paint a broader picture of the composition of ion-channel genes within the genomes of these related organisms. Conclusions Within the Anopheles genome there are orthologs for the four major voltage-dependent K +-channel gene families in Drosophila : Kv1, Kv2, Kv3 and Kv4 ( Shaker , Shab , Shaw and Shal , respectively). In addition we have identified genes that encode the Shaker -subunit, two members of the KQT family of K +channels, as well as three Slo-family genes, three Eag-family genes, and six inward rectifier K +-channel genes. In Anopheles , the Shaw family is more diverse than in Drosophila : three genes from this family are located next to one another along chromosome 3R, in contrast to two Kv3-family genes in Drosophila. The greater number of genes for three K +-channel types, inward rectifier, KQT, and Kv3 (Shaw), in Anopheles is intriguing, given that these organisms have roughly the same number of genes: both gene expansion in Anopheles and gene loss in Drosophila , in separate cases, may account for these differences. The high level of amino-acid sequence identity, as well as the conservation of intron-exon boundaries, in combination with the chromosomal proximity of these genes in Anopheles and Drosophila , provides a greater understanding of the molecular diversity and evolutionary history of K +-channel genes in the order Diptera. Materials and methods I used BLAST [ 11 ] and PSI-BLAST at the NCBI website to find K +-channel homologs using the Shaker K +-channel pore sequence as a query initially and then other, longer, K +-channel family-specific query sequences for verification. The predicted splice sites were compared with results of the TBLASTN to help confirm intron-exon boundaries. Increases in nucleotide position number from one putative exon to the next were used to deduce the size of introns. This study utilized the Ensembl Anopheles gambiae server [ 29 ] to search for homologs of various K +-channel types and to identify and visualize their respective chromosomal locations. The DARWIN server [ 30 ] was used to calculate the f2 values for the sequences, as well as a phylogenetic tree for the Shaw sequences, along with PAM distances and ancestral sequences. Figures were visualized and optimized using Adobe Photoshop. Sequences were aligned using ClustalX version 1.81. Phylogenetic trees were generated using ClustalX (for neighbor joining) and PHYLIP (for neighbor joining, parsimony and maximum likelihood using Protdist, Protpars, and ProML, respectively). The resulting trees were then visualized and evaluated using Treeview. Bootstrap values were calculated using ClustalX and PHYLIP. United States General Accounting Office Comptroller General of the United States GAO June 1996 Executive Guide Effectively Implementing the Government Performance and Results Act G AO years 1921 - 1996 Preface In recent years, an understanding has emerged that the federal government needs to be run in a more businesslike manner than in the past. As companies are accountable to shareholders, the federal government is accountable to taxpayers, and taxpayers are demanding as never before that the dollars they invest in their government be managed and spent responsibly. As countless studies by GAO have long noted, federal agencies often fail to appropriately manage their finances, identify clearly what they intend to accomplish, or get the job done effectively and with a minimum of waste. After decades of seeing these problems recur in agency after agency, Congress moved to address this endemic situation on a governmentwide basis. Major statutes now in their first years of implementation hold substantial promise for creating a more accountable and effective federal government. The Chief Financial Officers (CFO) Act of 1990 provided for chief financial officer positions in 24 major agencies and required annual reports on the financial condition of government entities and the status of management controls. Under the CFO Act, federal agencies will be subject to the same kinds of financial reporting that have long been required in the private sector and by state and local governments. The Information Technology Management Reform Act of 1996 requires, among other things, that agencies set goals, measure performance, and report on progress in improving the efficiency and effectiveness of operations through the use of information technology. And, most fundamentally, under the Government Performance and Results Act of 1993 (GPRA), every major federal agency must now ask itself some basic questions: What is our mission? What are our goals and how will we achieve them? How can we measure our performance? How will we use that information to make improvements? GPRA forces a shift in the focus of federal agencies-away from such traditional concerns as staffing and activity levels and toward a single overriding issue: results. GPRA requires agencies to set goals, measure performance, and report on their accomplishments. This will not be an easy transition, nor will it be quick. And for some agencies, GPRA will be difficult to apply. But GPRA has the potential for adding greatly to government performance-a particularly vital goal at a time when resources are limited and public demands are high. To help Page 1 GAO/GGD-96-118 Government Performance and Results Act Congress and federal managers put GPRA into effect, we have identified key steps that agencies need to take toward its implementation, along with a set of practices that can help make that implementation a success. We learned of these practices from organizations that successfully have taken initiatives similar to the ones required by the act. Several federal agencies that have already put these practices to use are represented in the case illustrations that are part of this guide. This guide is a companion to our Executive Guide: Improving Mission Performance Through Strategic Information Management and Technology, which outlined a number of information management approaches that federal agencies can take to improve their overall performance. Improving the management of federal agencies will require responsible actions in several areas at once. Success will demand concerted effort and long-term commitment, but the returns should be considerable. And American taxpayers deserve no less for their investment. Charles A. Bowsher Comptroller General of the United States Contents Preface 6 Introduction Page 4 GAO/GGD-96-118 Government Performance and Results Act Abbreviations Introduction A Changing Environment Demands Federal Management Reform Over the past several years, Congress has taken steps to fundamentally change the way federal agencies go about their work. Congress took these steps in response to management problems so common among federal agencies that they demanded governmentwide solutions. In addition, two contemporary forces converged to spur congressional action: year-in, year-out budget deficits that had to be brought down and a public now demanding not only that federal agencies do their jobs more effectively, but that they do so with fewer people and at lower cost. This was-and remains-an enormous challenge. For one thing, many of the largest federal agencies find themselves encumbered with structures and processes rooted in the past, aimed at the demands of earlier times, and designed before modern information and communications technology came into being. These agencies are poorly positioned to meet the demands of the 1990s.1 Moreover, many of these agencies find themselves without a clear understanding of who they are or where they are headed. Over the years, as new social or economic problems emerged, Congress assigned many agencies new and unanticipated program responsibilities. These additions may have made sense when they were made, but their cumulative effect has been to create a government in which many agencies cannot say just what business they are in. In some cases, agencies' legislative mandates have grown so muddled that Congress, the executive branch, and other agency stakeholders and customers cannot agree on program goals, worthwhile strategies, or appropriate measures of success. Our work has shown that the effectiveness of federal program areas as diverse as employment assistance and training, rural development, early childhood development, and food safety has been plagued by fragmented or overlapping efforts.2 A frequently cited example of overlap and ineffectiveness is the federal food safety system, which took shape under as many as 35 laws and was administered by 12 different agencies yet had not effectively protected the public from major foodborne illnesses.3 Traditionally, federal agencies have used the amount of money directed toward their programs, or the level of staff deployed, or even the number of tasks completed as some of the measures of their performance. But at a 1Improving Government: Need to Reexamine Organization and Performance (GAO/T-GGD-93-9, Mar. 11, 1993). 2Government Reorganization: Issues and Principles (GAO/T-GGD/AIMD-95-166, May 17, 1995). 3Food Safety: A Unified, Risk-Based Safety System Needed to Enhance Food Safety (GAO/T-RCED-94-71, Nov. 4, 1993). Legislative Requirements Support Managing for Results time when the value of many federal programs is undergoing intense public scrutiny, an agency that reports only these measures has not answered the defining question of whether these programs have produced real results. Today's environment is results-oriented. Congress, the executive branch, and the public are beginning to hold agencies accountable less for inputs and outputs than for outcomes, by which is meant the results of government programs as measured by the differences they make, for example, in the economy or program participants' lives. A federal employment training program can report on the number of participants. That number is an output. Or it can report on the changes in the real wages of its graduates. That number is an outcome. The difference between the two measures is the key to understanding government performance in a results-oriented environment. Congress' determination to make agencies accountable for their performance lay at the heart of two landmark reforms of the 1990s: the Chief Financial Officers (CFO) Act of 1990 and the Government Performance and Results Act of 1993 (GPRA). With these two laws, Congress imposed on federal agencies a new and more businesslike framework for management and accountability. In addition, GPRA created requirements for agencies to generate the information congressional and executive branch decisionmakers need in considering measures to improve government performance and reduce costs. The CFO Act was designed to remedy decades of serious neglect in federal financial management operations and reporting. It provided for chief financial officers in the 24 largest federal departments and agencies, which together account for about 98 percent of the government's gross budget authority. In 1994, Congress followed up on the CFO Act with the Government Management Reform Act of 1994. The latter extended to all 24 CFO Act agencies the requirement, beginning with fiscal year 1996, to prepare and have audited financial statements for their entire operations. While the CFO Act established the foundation for improving management and financial accountability among the agencies, GPRA is aimed more directly at improving their program performance. GPRA requires first that agencies consult with Congress and other stakeholders to clearly define their missions. It requires that they establish long-term strategic goals, as well as annual goals that are linked to them. They must then measure their performance against the goals they have set and report publicly on how Page 7 GAO/GGD-96-118 Government Performance and Results Act Experiences of Leading Organizations Show a Way well they are doing.4 Federal agencies also are to apply these principles-goal setting, performance measurement, and reporting-to their information technology efforts, under the Information Technology Management Reform Act of 1996. For example, agencies are to establish performance measures to gauge how well their information technology supports their program efforts. At the request of Congress, we studied a number of leading public sector organizations that were successfully pursuing management reform initiatives and becoming more results-oriented.5 We studied state governments, such as Florida, Oregon, Minnesota, North Carolina, Texas, and Virginia; and foreign governments, such as Australia, Canada, New Zealand, and the United Kingdom. Many of these organizations found themselves in an environment similar to the one confronting federal managers today-one in which they were called upon to improve performance while simultaneously reducing costs. Congress asked whether the experiences of these organizations could yield worthwhile lessons for federal agencies as they attempt to implement GPRA. Each of the organizations we studied set its agenda for management reform according to its own environment, needs, and capabilities. Yet despite their differing approaches to reform, all these organizations were seeking to become more result-oriented, and they commonly took three key steps. These were to (1) define clear missions and desired outcomes, (2) measure performance to gauge progress, and (3) use performanceinformation as a basis for decisionmaking. Although the organizations we studied were not acting under GPRA, their three key steps were consistent with GPRA's requirements. That is, the first step-define mission and desired outcomes-corresponds to the requirement in GPRA for federal agencies to develop strategic plans containing mission statements and outcome-related strategic goals; the second step-measure performance-corresponds to the GPRA requirement for federal agencies to develop annual performance plans with annual performance goals and indicators to measure performance; and the third step-use performance 4For a more detailed description of GPRA's requirements, see appendix I. 5See, for example, Transforming the Civil Service: Building the Workforce of The Future, Results Of A GAO-Sponsored Symposium (GAO/GGD-96-35, Dec. 26, 1995); Managing for Results: Experiences Abroad Suggest Insights for Federal Management Reform (GAO/GGD-95-120, May 2, 1995); Managing For Results: State Experiences Provide Insights for Federal Management Reforms (GAO/GGD-95-22, Dec. 21, 1994); Government Reform: Goal-Setting and Performance (GAO/AIMD/GGD-95-130R, Mar. 27, 1995); Executive Guide: Improving Mission Performance Through Strategic Information Management and Technology (GAO/AIMD-94-115, May 1994). Also see our reports and testimonies included as footnotes and the Related GAO Products section of this guide. Page 8 GAO/GGD-96-118 Government Performance and Results Act information-although much broader, includes the requirement in GPRA for federal agencies to prepare annual performance reports with information on the extent to which the agency has met its annual performance goals. Along with each step, certain practices proved especially important to the success of their efforts. In addition to these steps, these organizations also found that certain top leadership practices were central to making the changes needed for the organizations to become more results-oriented. Taken together, the key steps and practices drawn from the organizations we studied provide a useful framework for federal agencies working to implement GPRA. The key steps and practices are shown in figure 1. In this executive guide, we discuss the three key steps and their relationship to GPRA, along with the practices associated with each step.6 In the final section of this executive guide, we discuss the role of top leadership and the practices it can follow if it hopes to make GPRA a driving force in an organization. Accompanying the discussion of each practice is a case illustration involving a federal agency that has made progress in incorporating the practice into its operations. The fact that an organization is profiled for a particular practice is not meant to imply success or lack of success in other dimensions. Moreover, underscoring the fact that implementing management changes required by GPRA will not come quickly, most of the agencies profiled began their results-oriented management before GPRA was enacted. The experiences of leading organizations suggest that the successful implementation of GPRA may be as difficult as it is important. For example, obtaining agreement among often competing stakeholders is never easy, particularly in an environment where available resources are declining. In addition, measuring the federal contribution to outcomes that require the coordinated effort of numerous public and private entities-such as improvements in education, employment, or health-can require sophisticated and costly program evaluations. To help ensure the success of GPRA, the CFO Council, which the CFO Act created to provide the leadership foundation necessary to effectively carry out the Chief Financial Officers' responsibilities, established a GPRA Implementation Committee. The Committee is providing guidance and information to Chief Financial Officers and managers in the 24 agencies covered by the CFO Act. The Committee recognized that uncertainty or fear of failure may immobilize an agency's efforts to implement GPRA and that its implementation is evolutionary in that proficiency comes with time and experience. To assist federal managers, the Committee published guiding principles and key issues for implementing GPRA.7 Our guide is intended to complement the Committee's work in assisting managers as they implement GPRA. Our work has shown that although the steps and practices discussed in this guide don't come quickly or easily, they can serve as the fundamental building blocks to creating a results-oriented organization. 6For a detailed discussion of our objectives, scope, and methodology, see appendix II. 7Implementation of the Government Performance and Results Act (GPRA), A Report on the Chief Financial Officer's Role and Other Issues Critical to the Governmentwide Success of GPRA, Chief Financial Officers Council, GPRA Implementation Committee, May 1995. GPRA requires that federal agencies, no later than September 30, 1997, develop strategic plans covering a period of at least 5 years and submit them to Congress and the Office of Management and Budget (OMB). OMB provided guidance on the preparation and submission of strategic plans as a new part of its Circular No. A-11-the basic instructions for preparing the President's Budget-to underscore the essential link between GPRA and the budget process. OMB required agencies to submit major parts of their strategic plans by June 7, 1996. Strategic plans are intended to be the starting point for each agency's performance measurement efforts. Each plan must include a comprehensive mission statement based on the agency's statutory requirements, a set of outcome-related strategic goals, and a description of how the agency intends to achieve these goals. The mission statement brings the agency into focus. It explains why the agency exists, tells what it does, and describes how it does it. The strategic goals that follow are an outgrowth of this clearly stated mission. The strategic goals explain the purposes of the agency's programs and the results they are intended to achieve. In crafting GPRA, Congress recognized that federal agencies do not exist in a vacuum. As agencies develop their mission statements and establish their strategic goals, they are required by the act to consult with both Congress and their other stakeholders. Further, agencies must be alert to the environment in which they operate; in their strategic plans, they are required to identify the external factors that could affect their ability to accomplish what they set out to do. We found that leading results-oriented organizations consistently strive to ensure that their day-to-day activities support their organizational missions and move them closer to accomplishing their strategic goals. In practice, these organizations see the production of a strategic plan-that is, a particular document issued on a particular day-as one of the least important parts of the planning process. This is because they believe strategic planning is not a static or occasional event. It is, instead, a dynamic and inclusive process. If done well, strategic planning is continuous and provides the basis for everything the organization does each day. For strategic planning to have this sort of impact, three practices appear to be critical. Organizations must (1) involve their stakeholders; (2) assess their internal and external environments; and (3) align their activities, core processes, and resources to support mission-related outcomes. Page 13 GAO/GGD-96-118 Government Performance and Results Act Practice 1: Involve Stakeholders Successful organizations we studied based their strategic planning, to a large extent, on the interests and expectations of their stakeholders. These organizations recognize that stakeholders will have a lot to say in determining whether their programs succeed or fail. Among the stakeholders of federal agencies are Congress and the administration, state and local governments, third-party service providers, interest groups, agency employees, and, of course, the American public. In the federal government, stakeholder involvement is particularly important as federal agencies face a complex political environment in which legislative mandates are often ambiguous. Thus, the basic questions that must be answered in crafting a mission statement-what is our purpose, what products and services must we deliver to meet that purpose, and how will that be done-will present a significant challenge for many agencies. While statutory requirements are to be the starting point for agency mission statements, Congress, the executive branch, and other interested parties may all disagree strongly about a given agency's mission and goals. GPRA seeks to address such situations by requiring agencies to consult with Congress and other stakeholders to clarify their missions and reach agreement on their goals. Full agreement among stakeholders on all aspects of an agency's efforts is relatively uncommon because stakeholders' interests can differ often and significantly. Still, stakeholder involvement is important to help agencies ensure that their efforts and resources are targeted at the highest priorities. Just as important, involving stakeholders in strategic planning efforts can help create a basic understanding among the stakeholders of the competing demands that confront most agencies, the limited resources available to them, and how those demands and resources require careful and continuous balancing. Because of its power to create and fund programs, the involvement of Congress is indispensable to defining each agency's mission and establishing its goals.8 This may entail identifying legislative changes that are needed to clarify or modify Congress' intent and expectations or to address differing conditions and citizens' needs that have occurred since the initial statutory requirements were established. Congressional consultations also may include additional guidance on Congress' priorities in those frequent cases where agencies have more than one statutory mission. 8Managing for Results: Achieving GPRA's Objectives Requires Strong Congressional Role (GAO/T-GGD-96-79, Mar. 6, 1996). Case Illustration: Environmental Protection Agency Involving customers is important as well. An agency's customers are the individuals or organizations that are served by its programs. This is not to say that contact between a federal agency and its customers is always direct. Many federally mandated or federally funded services are dispensed through third parties, such as state agencies, banks, or medical insurance providers. In such cases, federal agencies face the particularly challenging task of balancing the needs of customers, service providers, and other stakeholders, who at times may have differing or even competing goals. In our reviews of successful results-oriented organizations, we found numerous examples of organizations that achieved positive results by involving customers and other stakeholders in defining their missions and desired outcomes.9 Oregon, for one, developed consensus on its statewide strategic plan by bringing together such diverse stakeholders as legislators, state agency officials, county and local government officials, and community group representatives. The Minnesota Trade Office, for another, used surveys to obtain its stakeholders' views on the degree to which the office was contributing to its customers' export activities. On the basis of the data it obtained, the Trade Office made program changes and improved both its performance and its responsiveness. The Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) was established in 1970 under a presidential reorganization plan in response to public concerns over unhealthy air, polluted rivers, unsafe drinking water, and haphazard waste disposal. Congress gave EPA responsibility for implementing federal environmental laws. From the start, however, EPA lacked an overarching legislative mission, and its environmental responsibilities have yet to be integrated with one another. As a result, EPA could not ensure that it was directing its efforts toward the environmental problems that were of greatest concern to citizens or posed the greatest risk to the health of the population or the environment itself. Therefore, EPA decided in 1992 to launch the National Environmental Goals Project, a long-range planning initiative under which it would involve its stakeholders in developing measurable goals for EPA to pursue in improving the quality of the nation's environment. EPA designed its National Environmental Goals Project to produce a set of long-range environmental goals, including milestones to be achieved by 2005. The agency recognized that while environmental goals should be 9GAO/GGD-95-22, Dec. 21, 1994. Practice 2: Assess the Environment grounded in science and factual analysis, they should be based, as well, on the needs and expectations of the nation's citizens. In 1994, EPA initiated a series of nine public meetings to hear their views. The meetings were held around the country and included environmental organizations, businesses, state and local governments, tribal governments, and other stakeholders. To provide a basis for discussion, EPA drafted and distributed to participants a set of goal statements and descriptive information on the 13 broad environmental goal areas that its staff considered to be of the greatest national importance. EPA used the information it received at these public meetings to revise and better define these goals. For example, the agency added milestones for managing and cleaning up radioactive waste, restoring contaminated sites to productive use, and slowing habitat losses. Further, it added the goal of improving its dissemination of environmental information and its other education efforts. EPA found that its stakeholders' interests included how EPA does its core processes-for example, the amount of flexibility it can offer to the regulated community. EPA recognized these stakeholder interests in a summary report of its revised goals that it sent to Congress and its other stakeholders in February 1995. EPA continued to involve stakeholders in the National Environmental Goals Project by soliciting comments on the summary report. Many of EPA's stakeholders are businesses or other regulated entities that wanted the agency to address such matters as the procedural costs of environmental regulations. EPA responded with a discussion of the overall costs and benefits of controlling pollution. At its stakeholders' request, it provided trend data and laid out strategies for achieving its environmental milestones. EPA recognizes that involving stakeholders is an ongoing effort that needs to be continued. The proposed goals are to be sent again to federal, state, local, and tribal government stakeholders for another round of review later this year, and plans are being made for public review. Good managers have understood for a long time that many forces-both inside and outside their organizations-can influence their ability to achieve their goals. But even managers who try to stay alert to these forces often gather their information anecdotally or informally. In contrast, the successful organizations we studied monitor their internal and external environments continuously and systematically. Organizations that do this have shown an ability to anticipate future challenges and to make Case Illustration: United States Customs Service adjustments so that potential problems do not become crises.10 By building environmental assessment into the strategic planning process, they are able to stay focused on their long-term goals even as they make changes in the way they intend to achieve them. Both the external and internal environments are important, and neither can be viewed independently of the other. Assessing the external environment is particularly important, in part because so many external forces that fall beyond an organization's influence can powerfully affect its chances for success. For organizations both public and private, external forces can include newly emerging economic, social, and technological trends and new statutory, regulatory, and judicial requirements. An organization's internal forces include its culture, its management practices, and its business processes. Today, federal agencies find that monitoring these internal forces is especially important, given the effects of funding reductions and reorganizations. The tools available to organizations assessing the internal environment include program evaluations, employee surveys, independent audits, and reviews of business processes. The missions of the Customs Service-the oldest federal agency-are to ensure that goods and persons entering and exiting the United States comply with all U.S. laws and regulations, while also facilitating the legitimate movement of goods and persons through U.S. ports. But long-standing management problems, including weaknesses in strategic planning, had threatened the agency's ability to adapt to changing demands. Customs' strategic planning efforts now focus on the dramatic changes occurring in its external and internal environments and on the equally dramatic changes the agency will need to make in response. Recognizing that the international trade environment has undergone many changes in recent years, the Customs Service identified the new challenges these changes brought it in its 1993 strategic plan. The clearest challenge for Customs would be to manage a workload that was growing rapidly and that could not be expected to taper off. From fiscal year 1986 to 1995, for example, total import entries increased by 242 percent, from 11.1 million to 38.0 million. During the same period, passenger arrivals increased by 42 percent, from 304 million to 431 million. Customs anticipated that world trade would also continue to accelerate. During 1995 alone, approximately 10For a discussion of environmental monitoring as a critical aspect of strategic thinking, see Henry Mintzberg, The Fall and Rise of Strategic Planning (New York: Free Press and Prentice Hall International, 1994). Page 17 GAO/GGD-96-118 Government Performance and Results Act Practice 3: Align Activities, Core Processes, and Resources $761 billion in merchandise was imported into the United States. For the rest of the decade, Customs expects that figure to grow by more than 10 percent each year. Customs anticipated that trade issues would assume greater prominence in the coming years as developing countries continue to industrialize, corporations continue to expand internationally, and trade barriers continue to fall. Further, the proliferation of international trade agreements, such as the U.S.-Canada Free Trade Agreement of 1989, the North American Free Trade Agreement, and the General Agreement on Tariffs and Trade, should lead to further increases in trade and travel volume. Internally, Customs anticipated that as public pressures to reduce the federal deficit continued, no real growth would occur in the agency's funding. Customs also anticipated attrition among its staff and a loss of valuable expertise due to that attrition. It determined that by 1998 about 10 percent, or about 2,000 employees, would be eligible to retire. All of these forces-external and internal-have caused the Customs Service to begin to reengineer its core processes, including those related to the movement of people and cargo into the United States and the movement of cargo out of the United States. For example, the agency is undertaking a major reorganization structured from the ground up, using its 301 ports as its foundation. While headquarters staffing is to be streamlined, the staffing levels at the ports are to be maintained or increased. Under the reorganization, port directors are to be given some of the authority previously exercised at the district or regional levels. It is too soon to tell how effective Customs' reorganization will be in responding to the pressures it faces. But by assessing its external and internal environments, the agency came to see that its traditional ways of pursuing its mission were no longer viable and that major changes would be needed. Leading organizations recognize that sound planning is not enough to ensure their success. An organization's activities, core processes, and resources must be aligned to support its mission and help it achieve its goals. Such organizations start by assessing the extent to which their programs and activities contribute to meeting their mission and desired outcomes. As the organizations became more results-oriented, they often Page 18 GAO/GGD-96-118 Government Performance and Results Act found it necessary to fundamentally alter activities and programs so that they more effectively and efficiently produced the services to meet customers' needs and stakeholders' interests. For example, we have traced the management problems of many federal agencies to organizational structures that are obsolete and inadequate to modern demands.11 As federal agencies become more outcome-oriented, they will find that outmoded organizational structures must be changed to better meet customer needs and address the interests of stakeholders. As agencies align their activities to support mission-related goals, they should also make better linkages between levels of funding and their anticipated results. Under a series of initiatives called Connecting Resources to Results, OMB is seeking to adopt a greater focus on agencies' goals and performance in making funding decisions. For example, OMB fiscal year 1996 budget preparation guidance said agencies were to identify key features of their streamlining plans (e.g., increased span of control, reduced organizational layers, and/or milestones for full-time equivalents) and encouraged agencies to include performance goals and indicators in their budget justifications.12 Whereas the agencies' fiscal year 1995 documents discussed streamlining primarily in terms of the number of positions to be eliminated, the fiscal year 1996 budget documents included discussions about how proposed staff reductions could affect the agencies' performance. Under OMB's guidance, agencies' fiscal year 1997 budget requests were to contain a significantly greater amount of performance information to help define funding levels and projected program results. For the fiscal year 1998 budget, OMB plans to continue to increase the role of performance goals and information in guiding funding decisions. We also have found that leading organizations strive to ensure that their core processes efficiently and effectively support mission-related outcomes. These organizations rely increasingly on a well-defined mission to form the foundation for the key business systems and processes they use to ensure the successful outcome of their operations. For example, many successful public and private organizations integrate their human resource management activities into their organizational missions, rather than treating them as an isolated support function.13 This sort of integrated approach may include tying individual performance management, career 11Government Management Issues (GAO/OCG-93-3TR, Dec. 1992). 12Office of Management and Budget: Changes Resulting From the OMB 2000 Reorganization (GAO/GGD/AIMD-96-50, Dec. 29, 1995). 13GAO/GGD-96-35, Dec. 26, 1995. Page 19 GAO/GGD-96-118 Government Performance and Results Act Case Illustration: Federal Emergency Management Agency development programs, and pay and promotion standards to organizational mission, vision, and culture. Information management is another activity that organizations must address in aligning their activities and processes.14 Modern information management approaches, coupled with new information technology, can make success more or less likely-depending on the way they are handled. We found that successful organizations pursue something called strategic information management-that is, comprehensive management of information and information technology to maximize improvements in mission performance. Strategic information management will be an important part of any federal agency's attempt to implement GPRA successfully. Managing better requires that agencies have, and rely upon, sound financial and program information. Strategic information management would lead to systems that would better provide federal agencies the data they need in considering ways to realign their processes, reduce costs, improve program effectiveness, and ensure consistent results with a less bureaucratic organization. Lacking these data, the agencies would be missing one of the indispensable ingredients of successful management. Established in 1979, the Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) is responsible for the coordination of civil emergency planning and mitigation as well as the coordination of federal disaster relief. FEMA is responsible for responding to floods, hurricanes, earthquakes, and other natural disasters. Hurricane Hugo and the Loma Prieta earthquake in 1989 generated intense criticism of the federal response effort. Hurricane Andrew, which leveled much of South Florida in 1992, raised further doubts as to whether FEMA was capable of responding to disasters. In 1993, FEMA's new Director refocused the agency on meeting its mission and aligning its activities to better serve the public. Since FEMA issued its mission statement in April 1993, it has been reexamining its approach to limiting deaths and property losses from disasters. Traditionally, FEMA had concentrated its efforts on post-disaster assistance. But after taking a hard look at its performance, FEMA concluded that it could better fulfill its mission by addressing the range of activities available before, during, and after disaster strikes. 14GAO/AIMD-94-115, May 1994. As part of its first agencywide strategic planning effort, FEMA comprehensively reviewed its programs and structures and initiated a major reorganization in November 1993. FEMA concluded that all emergencies share certain common traits, pose some common demands, and ought to be approached functionally. FEMA's new, "all-hazard" mission takes a multifaceted, sequential approach to managing disasters: mitigation, preparedness, response, and recovery. FEMA now focuses its disaster planning and response processes on steps that need to be taken, not just during and after the event, but in advance. To build preparedness, FEMA now seeks to build partnerships with other federal, state, and local organizations. For example, the agency is working with local governments and the building industry to strengthen building codes so that structures will be better able to withstand disasters. It has also launched an effort to increase the number of flood insurance policyholders-something that had not been a traditional focus of the agency but that is now understood as being critical to helping individuals recover from disasters. By more closely aligning its activities, processes, and resources with its mission, FEMA appears today to be better positioned to accomplish that mission. The second key step that successful results-oriented organizations we studied take-after defining their missions and desired outcomes-is to measure their performance. Measuring performance allows these organizations to track the progress they are making toward their goals and gives managers crucial information on which to base their organizational and management decisions. Leading organizations recognize, as well, that performance measures can create powerful incentives to influence organizational and individual behavior. GPRA incorporates performance measurement as one of its most important features. Under the act, executive branch agencies are required to develop annual performance plans that use performance measurement to reinforce the connection between the long-term strategic goals outlined in their strategic plans and the day-to-day activities of their managers and staff. The annual performance plans are to include performance goals for an agency's program activities as listed in the budget, a summary of the necessary resources to conduct these activities, the performance indicators that will be used to measure performance, and a discussion of how the performance information will be verified. For the first time, GPRA requires that agencies' annual program performance planning efforts be linked directly to their budget estimates and obligations. This linkage is achieved by requiring performance goals and measures for agencies' program activities that are included in their budget requests. Congress recognized that the activity structure in the budget of the United States government is not consistent across various programs. As a result, Congress expects agencies to consolidate, aggregate, or disaggregate the lists of program activities appearing in the budget accounts. The first of these annual performance plans is to cover fiscal year 1999; each agency is to submit its plan to OMB in the fall of 1997. However, OMB is requiring descriptions of the proposed performance goals and indicators for fiscal year 1999 with the agency's fiscal year 1998 budget request. In developing GPRA, Congress recognized that federal agencies-unaccustomed as they are to the practice-may find that developing performance measures is a difficult and time-consuming task. As a result, it provided for selected agencies and programs to pilot GPRA's goal-setting and performance measurement requirements before these are applied governmentwide. Our work with leading results-oriented organizations confirmed that many agencies may need years to develop a sound set of performance measures. Page 23 GAO/GGD-96-118 Government Performance and Results Act Practice 4: Produce a Set of Performance Measures at Each Organizational Level That Demonstrate Results, Are Limited to the Vital Few, Respond to Multiple Priorities, and Link to Responsible Programs We learned, as well, that agencies that were successful in measuring their performance generally had applied two practices. First, they developed performance measures based on four characteristics. These measures were (1) tied to program goals and demonstrated the degree to which the desired results were achieved, (2) limited to a vital few that were considered essential for producing data for decisionmaking, (3) responsive to multiple priorities, and (4) responsibility-linked to establish accountability for results. Second, recognizing that they must balance their ideal performance measurement systems against real-world considerations, such as the cost and effort involved in gathering and analyzing data, the organizations we studied made sure that the data they did collect were sufficiently complete, accurate, and consistent to be useful in decisionmaking. As the leading organizations we studied strive to align their activities and resources to achieve mission-related goals, they also seek to establish clear hierarchies of performance goals and measures. Under these hierarchies, the organizations try to link the goals and performance measures for each organizational level to successive levels and ultimately to the organization's strategic goals. They have recognized that without clear, hierarchically linked performance measures, managers and staff throughout the organization will lack straightforward roadmaps showing how their daily activities can contribute to attaining organizationwide strategic goals and mission. Federal agencies that are developing such hierarchies for their organizations are finding that organizationwide performance measurement efforts take time and require the active involvement of staff at all organizational levels. The experiences of leading state, foreign, and federal governments show that at least four characteristics are common to successful hierarchies of performance measures.15 These characteristics include the following: Demonstrate results: Performance measures should tell each organizational level how well it is achieving its goals. Yet, simple as this principle may appear, it poses an especially difficult challenge for federal managers, for whom the link between federal efforts and desired outcomes is often difficult to establish and may not, in fact, be apparent for years. Research programs provide one example. So do many health and 15Managing for Results: Critical Actions for Measuring Performance (GAO/T-GGD/AIMD-95-187, June 20, 1995). welfare programs that are delivered jointly with state and local governments and third-party service deliverers. Limited to the vital few: The number of measures for each goal at a given organizational level should be limited to the vital few. Those vital few measures should cover the key performance dimensions that will enable an organization to assess accomplishments, make decisions, realign processes, and assign accountability. Organizations that seek to manage an excessive number of performance measures may risk creating a confusing excess of data that will obscure rather than clarify performance issues. Limiting the number of performance measures to the vital few at each organizational level will not only keep the focus where it belongs, it will help ensure that the costs involved in collecting and analyzing the data do not become prohibitive. As a result, lower organizational levels may use different measures and goals from those meaningfully or appropriately included in the organization's annual performance plan. Likewise, agencies will have more goals and measures than can be meaningfully or appropriately included in the governmentwide performance plan OMB will develop under GPRA. However, as performance plans are compiled for higher organizational levels, the consolidation and possible exclusion of some goals and measures does not mean that those goals and measures are not important to guide the efforts of the lower levels and should still be monitored. Respond to multiple priorities: Government agencies often face a variety of interests whose competing demands continually force policymakers and managers to balance quality, cost, customer satisfaction, stakeholder concerns, and other factors. Performance measurement systems must take these competing interests into account and create incentives for managers to strike the difficult balance among competing demands. Performance measurement efforts that overemphasize one or two priorities at the expense of the others may skew the agency's performance and keep its managers from seeing the whole picture. Link to responsible programs: Performance measures should be linked directly to the offices that have responsibility for making programs work. A clear connection between performance measures and program offices helps to both reinforce accountability and ensure that, in their day-to-day activities, managers keep in mind the outcomes their organization is striving to achieve. This connection at the program office helps to lay the groundwork for accountability as measures advance through the agency. By helping to lay the groundwork for accountability, a connection between Page 25 GAO/GGD-96-118 Government Performance and Results Act Case Illustration: National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration performance measures and program offices also provides a basis for determining the appropriate degree of operational authority for various organizational levels. Managers must have the authority and flexibility for achieving the results for which they are to be held accountable. The mission of the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA) is to describe and predict changes in the earth's environment, as well as to conserve and manage the nation's coastal and marine resources to ensure sustainable economic opportunities. NOAA concluded in its 1995 strategic plan that the nation's ability to prepare for severe weather events, including tornadoes, thunderstorms, hurricanes, and flash flooding, depends on the quality and timeliness of the agency's observations, assessments, and information delivery. Through strategic planning, NOAA evaluated how best to accomplish its mission and then put into place those performance measures essential to demonstrating the extent to which it was attaining its desired outcomes. NOAA determined that the most important business of its short-term warning and forecast weather services was to predict the time and location of weather events and to do so with accuracy. Rather than simply count the number of forecasts it made-that is, to simply gather data on its activity level-NOAA began to measure the extent to which it could increase the lead time or advance notice it gave the public prior to severe weather events. It decided, in other words, to measure what counts. NOAA reported that from fiscal year 1993 to fiscal year 1995, its lead time for predicting tornadoes increased from 7 minutes to 9 minutes, and the accuracy of its predictions increased from 47 percent of the time to 60 percent of the time. For fiscal year 1996, NOAA has set targets of 10 minutes and 64 percent, respectively. NOAA also measured how accurately it could predict the range where hurricanes would reach land, given a 24-hour lead time. From fiscal year 1993 to fiscal year 1995, its accuracy improved from 185 kilometers (115 miles) to 134 kilometers (83 miles). It credited the improvement to its installation in June 1995 of a new hurricane tracking model. On the basis of fiscal year 1995 performance, NOAA revised its fiscal year 1996 target from 155 kilometers (96 miles) to 150 kilometers (93 miles). Although the new fiscal year 1996 target of 150 kilometers is higher than the fiscal year 1995 actual performance of 134 kilometers, NOAA wants to test the new Page 26 GAO/GGD-96-118 Government Performance and Results Act Practice 5: Collect Sufficiently Complete, Accurate, and Consistent Data model through at least another hurricane season before radically revising its targets for future years. The significance of earlier and more accurate hurricane warnings is enormous. Most importantly, they help prevent deaths and injuries. But they also save money, because earlier and more accurate predictions of hurricane tracks and intensities can reduce the size of the warning areas in which people are advised to prepare for the event. NOAA calculated that for each hurricane, the public's preparation and evacuation costs exceed $50 million, but improved predictions can cut that cost by $5 million. In addition, NOAA officials believe that the public takes more accurate forecasts more seriously-which helps lessen loss of life and property. As the organizations we examined developed their performance measures, they paid special attention to issues relating to data collection. Although they recognized that adequate and reliable performance data are indispensable to decisionmaking, they were also aware that collecting the data can be costly and difficult. As a result, as agencies implement GPRA, they will have to balance the cost of data collection efforts against the need to ensure that the collected data are complete, accurate, and consistent enough to document performance and support decisionmaking at various organizational levels. As the experiences of these organizations demonstrated, managers striving to reach organizational goals must have information systems in place to provide them with needed information.16 In Texas, for example, officials said that the state restructured its statewide information systems to include the missions and goals of its agencies, specific strategies for achieving objectives, and measures of progress. The system also linked budgeted expenditures, accounting information, and performance data. Our work has shown consistently that the federal government's basic financial and information management systems are woefully out of date and incapable of meeting modern needs for fast, reliable, and accurate information-particularly as these needs relate to financial reporting and program costs. As the leading organizations we studied became more results-oriented, many of them made significant investments in their information management systems. Many federal agencies will need to do the same. But agencies can keep costs down by applying the performance measurement principles these leading organizations have employed and 16GAO/GGD-95-22, Dec. 21, 1994. Case Illustration: National Highway Traffic Safety Administration also-where they can-by building performance data collection into the processes that govern daily operations, rather than creating entirely new and separate data collection systems. The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration's (NHTSA) mission is to reduce casualties and economic losses resulting from motor vehicle crashes. To accomplish its mission, NHTSA pursues two main strategies: setting and enforcing safety performance standards for motor vehicles and promoting safe driving behavior. After it was established in 1970, NHTSA concluded that reliable crash statistics databases were needed. The need was twofold: to help in identifying and analyzing traffic safety problems and for evaluating the effectiveness of motor vehicle safety standards and highway safety initiatives. To fill this need, NHTSA developed data collection systems derived from existing data sources and has taken steps to ensure the completeness, accuracy, and consistency of these data. NHTSA has developed two data systems that, taken together, serve as a single source of motor vehicle crash statistics. The Fatal Accident Reporting System has enabled NHTSA to document that the rate for one of its desired outcomes-reduction in the fatality rate-decreased from 2.3 to an estimated 1.7 per 100 million vehicle miles of travel from 1988 to 1995.17 Also, NHTSA has used data from the General Estimates System to document another one of its desired outcomes-a reduction in injury rates-from 169 to an estimated 138 injuries per 100 million vehicle miles of travel from 1988 to 1995. The Fatal Accident Reporting System contains accident data provided by the 50 states, Puerto Rico, and the District of Columbia. According to NHTSA documents, throughout the states, Puerto Rico, and the District of Columbia, trained state employees gather and transmit these data to NHTSA's central computer database in a standard format. State employees obtain data solely from each state's existing documents-including police accident reports, vehicle registration files, and vital statistics records-and then enter them into a central computer database. NHTSA analysts periodically review a sample of the cases. The General Estimates System contains data from a nationally representative sample of police-reported accidents. To compile the 17Vehicle miles of travel is published by the Federal Highway Administration, as reported by state highway agencies, and is based on formal guidance provided by the Administration. Page 28 GAO/GGD-96-118 Government Performance and Results Act database, NHTSA data collectors randomly sample about 48,000 reports each year from approximately 400 police jurisdictions in 60 sites across the country, according to NHTSA documents. NHTSA staff then interpret and code the data directly from the reports into a central electronic data file. The data are checked for consistency during both coding and subsequent processing. NHTSA has recognized that its data have limitations. For example, the General Estimates System is based on police reports, but various sources suggest that about half of the motor vehicle crashes in the country are not reported to police, and the majority of these unreported crashes involve only minor property damage and no significant injury. A NHTSA study of the costs of motor vehicle injuries estimated the total count of nonfatal injuries at over 5 million compared to the General Estimates System estimate for that year of 3.2 million. NHTSA intends to study the unreported injury problem. The third key step in building successful results-oriented organizations- after establishing an organizational mission and goals and building a performance measurement system-is to put performance data to work. Managers should use performance information to continuously improve organizational processes, identify performance gaps, and set improvement goals.18 When the CFO Act and GPRA are fully implemented, decisionmakers are to routinely receive the performance and cost information they need to assess their programs and make informed decisions. Congressional decisionmaking should also benefit. GPRA was intended, in part, to improve congressional decisionmaking by giving Congress comprehensive and reliable information on the extent to which federal programs are fulfilling their statutory intent. The act requires that each agency report annually to the President and to Congress on its performance-specifically, on the extent to which it is meeting its annual performance goals and the actions needed to achieve or modify those goals that have not been met. Annual performance reports are intended to provide important information to agency managers, policymakers, and the public on what each agency accomplished with the resources it was given. The first of these reports, covering fiscal year 1999, is due by March 31, 2000. In crafting GPRA, Congress recognized that different information users would have differing information needs. Federal agencies must determine what information is both relevant and essential to different internal and external information users and include only the information the users require.19 Most important, agency managers need performance information to ensure that programs meet intended goals, assess the efficiency of processes, and promote continuous improvement. Congress needs information on whether and in what respects a program is working well or poorly to support its oversight of agencies and their budgets.20 Agencies' stakeholders need performance information to accurately judge program effectiveness. In short, we have found that leading organizations that progressed the farthest to results-oriented management did not stop after strategic planning and performance measurement. They applied their acquired knowledge and data to identify gaps in their performance, report on that 18GAO/T-GGD/AIMD-95-187, June 20, 1995. 19Chief Financial Officers Council, Streamlining Governmentwide Statutory Reports (Jan. 17, 1995). 20Managing for Results: Status of the Government Performance and Results Act (GAO/T-GGD-95-193, June 27, 1995); and Program Evaluation: Improving the Information Flow to the Congress (GAO/PEMD-95-1, Jan. 30, 1995). Practice 6: Identify Performance Gaps performance, and finally use that information to improve their performance to better support their missions. Performance data can have real value only if they are used to identify the gap between an organization's actual performance level and the performance level it has identified as its goal. Once the performance gaps are identified for different program areas, managers can determine where to target their resources to improve overall mission accomplishment. When managers are forced to reduce their resources, the same analysis can help them target reductions to keep to a minimum the threat to their organization's overall mission. The leading organizations we studied recognized that improvement goals should flow from a fact-based performance analysis and be rooted in organizational missions.21 Such organizations typically assess which of their processes are in greatest need of improvement in terms of cost, quality, and timeliness. By analyzing the gap between where they are and where they need to be to achieve desired outcomes, management can target those processes that are in most need of improvement, set realistic improvement goals, and select an appropriate process improvement technique.22 One technique these organizations used is benchmarking-comparing their processes with those of private and public organizations that are thought to be the best in their fields. By benchmarking its own processes against those of the best in the business, an organization can learn how much change it needs to make and what changes might be the right ones. Case Illustration: Veterans Health Administration The Veterans Health Administration (VHA) in the Department of Veterans Affairs runs one of the nation's largest medical care delivery systems, consisting of a network of medical centers, nursing homes, domiciliaries, and outpatient clinics that provide health care services to nearly 2.8 million patients each year. VHA recognizes that its ability to survive growing market pressures, answer criticisms of health care quality, and sustain and improve services to an aging veteran population depends on its ability to analyze data to pinpoint areas needing change and improvement. VHA has initiated numerous studies 21Government Reform: Using Reengineering and Technology to Improve Government Performance (GAO/T-OCG-95-2, Feb. 2, 1995). 22GAO/T-GGD/AIMD-95-187, June 20, 1995. Page 32 GAO/GGD-96-118 Government Performance and Results Act to identify performance gaps. With better data in hand, VHA is taking actions to improve its products and services. VHA has provided medical care to veterans for over 60 years. Traditionally, however, the agency has lacked the sort of data needed to assess the quality, cost, and effectiveness of its care. VHA's current data analysis efforts are structured to provide caregivers with improved data on medical outcomes. It has begun to use this performance information to improve service to veterans. An example is VHA's effort to benchmark the success of cardiac surgeries in VHA facilities. VHA's database, which contains over 51,000 records on cardiac surgical outcomes, is risk-adjusted for severity of illness on the basis of 54 variables, including age and previous medical history, collected prior to surgery. VHA was able to identify the differences in surgical outcomes among the 43 VHA medical centers performing cardiac surgery. On the basis of these analyses, VHA recommended a number of techniques and processes for shortening the postoperative hospital stay, decreasing excessive diagnostic testing, and reducing the risk of postoperative infections or complications. According to VHA, because it adopted these and other techniques, the performance data show that cardiac teams lowered their mortality rates for all cardiac procedures over the last 8 years by an average of 13 percent. Another VHA data analysis effort is the External Peer Review Program. The program compares VHA medical centers' performances against established community standards. As part of the effort, panels composed of physicians not affiliated with VHA review medical records to determine if community standards have been met. One performance gap VHA identified through this benchmarking was the low vaccination rate of elderly and chronically ill VHA patients who are at high risk for contracting one type of potentially fatal pneumonia. VHA has worked with the National Institute on Aging in the Department of Health and Human Services and the American Lung Association to raise its pneumonia immunization rate for these patients from 19 percent to 29 percent over the past 2 years. VHA also is analyzing performance data to switch some of its focus from inpatient to ambulatory care. For example, according to VHA, after careful data analysis, its medical center in Little Rock, Arkansas, determined that only a small percentage of the patients admitted to its 28-day inpatient detoxification program needed acute medical attention. As a result, the program was converted in fiscal year 1995 to an outpatient program with Page 33 GAO/GGD-96-118 Government Performance and Results Act only a small inpatient capacity. The center reportedly now serves more patients with eight fewer full-time staff members and anticipates that savings from the first year of the new outpatient program will be $600,000-with no lessening in the quality of patient care. No picture of what the government is accomplishing with the taxpayers' money can be complete without adequate program cost and performance information. But this information must be presented in a way that is useful to the many audiences who rely on it to help them assess and manage federal programs.23 Viewing program performance in light of program costs-for instance, by establishing the unit cost per output or outcome achieved-can be important on at least two levels. First, it can help Congress make informed decisions. Second, it can give the taxpayers a better understanding of what the government is providing in return for their tax dollars. Consistent with GPRA's requirement that annual performance plans be tied to budget requests, the annual performance reports, which are to report progress toward achieving the goals established in the plans, are to link levels of performance to the budget expenditures. Directly calculating unit cost information will likely become more widespread when the Government Management Reform Act of 1994 (GMRA) is implemented. GMRA authorized OMB, upon proper notification to Congress, to consolidate and simplify management reports. The CFO Council has proposed that agencies prepare two annual reports: a Planning and Budgeting Report and an Accountability Report. The two consolidated reports would be used to present each agency's past financial and program performance and provide a roadmap for its future planning and budgeting actions. At present, OMB is having six agencies produce Accountability Reports on a pilot basis. The Accountability Report would eliminate the separate requirements under various laws-such as GPRA, the Federal Managers' Financial Integrity Act, the CFO Act, and the Prompt Payment Act. Practice 7: Report Performance Information Case Illustration: GPRA Pilot Projects' Fiscal Year 1994 Performance Reports GPRA requires that each federal agency report annually on its performance-specifically, on the degree to which the agency is meeting its annual performance goals and on the actions needed to achieve those goals that have not been met. Under GPRA, OMB was required to select agencies to pilot GPRA performance planning and reporting 23Financial Management: Continued Momentum Essential to Achieve CFO Act Goals (GAO/T-AIMD-96-10, Dec. 14, 1995). requirements. Forty-four pilot projects submitted reports for the first round of performance reporting in 1995. We identified some individual features that when viewed as a whole, appear to have the potential for enhancing the general usefulness of future performance reports in providing decisionmakers and the public with the information needed to assess progress.24 These features would also be appropriate for GMRA accountability reports. Our initial observations suggest that GPRA performance reports are likely to be more useful if they describe the relationship between the agency's annual performance and its strategic goals and mission, include cost information, provide baseline and trend data, explain the uses of performance information, incorporate other relevant information, and present performance information in a user-friendly manner. By describing how the annual performance information it has reported relates to its strategic goals and mission, an agency can help its customers and stakeholders understand the relationship between the year's accomplishments and the agency's long-range goals and reason for existence. By including cost information-ideally, unit cost per output or outcome-the agency can demonstrate the cost-effectiveness and productivity of its program efforts. In addition, by providing baseline and trend data-which show the agency's progress over time-the agency can give decisionmakers a more historical perspective within which to compare the year's performance with performance in past years. Similarly, by explaining the uses of the performance information-such as the actions the agency has taken or identified as needed, based on the data-the agency can help decisionmakers judge the reasonableness of its performance goals and decide upon actions they may need to take to improve the agency's performance. The report should include any other information that is relevant-such as the limitations in the quality of the reported data-that users of the report may need to help them better understand the performance data and its context. It is important, as well, that the text be understandable to the nontechnical reader-that it use clearly defined terms and appropriate, user-friendly tables and graphs to convey information as readily as possible. 24GPRA Performance Reports (GAO/GGD-96-66R, Feb. 14, 1996). Practice 8: Use Performance Information to Support Mission As efforts continue to reduce federal spending, policymakers and the public alike are reexamining the federal government's spending priorities. Federal agencies are feeling the pressure to demonstrate that they are putting the taxpayers' money to sound use. They are expected to demonstrate improved performance even as they cut costs-two simultaneous demands that are driving the trend toward results-oriented government. As they focus on the outcomes they hope to achieve, federal managers increasingly are finding that the traditional ways they measured their success-and thus the traditional ways they did business and provided services-are no longer appropriate or practical. For example, the new focus on outcomes is prompting some federal agencies to alter the approach of their programs, including working more closely with states and local governments and businesses. As agencies create information systems to provide them with cost and performance data, they discover that having the facts gives them a basis for focusing their efforts and improving their performance. Case Illustration: Coast Guard The mission of the Coast Guard's Office of Marine Safety, Security and Environmental Protection is to protect the public, the environment, and U.S. economic interests through the prevention and mitigation ofmarine incidents. In the past, the Coast Guard's marine safety program concentrated on the physical condition of vessels, through activities such as inspections and certifications. The program focused less attention on the human factors that contribute to marine safety. But as the office became more outcome-oriented and made more extensive use of performance information, it began to redirect its safety efforts. Coast Guard data indicate that its mission-effectiveness is now dramatically improved. Traditionally, the Coast Guard based its marine safety efforts on inspections and certifications of vessels. It measured its performance by counting outputs, such as the number of prior inspections and outstanding inspection results. But the data on marine casualties indicated that accidents were often caused, not by deficiencies in the vessels or other factors, but by human error. For example, towing industry data for 1982 through 1991 showed that 18 percent of reported casualties were caused by equipment and material failures, 20 percent by environmental and other factors, and 62 percent by human factors. Page 36 GAO/GGD-96-118 Government Performance and Results Act Putting this information to use, the Coast Guard changed the focus of its marine safety program from outputs to outcomes in its first business plan, dated January 1994. After all, it came to recognize, the mission of the marine safety program was not to do more and better inspections of vessels, but to save lives. As a result, the Coast Guard shifted its resources and realigned its processes away from inspections and toward other efforts to reduce marine casualties. In addition, it identified a significant role for the towing industry in the marine safety program and looked for opportunities to work with its stakeholders in the towing industry to reduce casualties in their field. The Coast Guard and the towing industry worked to build the knowledge and skills of entry-level crew members in the industry. The Coast Guard and the towing industry jointly developed training and voluntary guidelines to reduce the causes of fatalities. This joint effort contributed to a significant decline in the reported towing industry fatality rate: from 91 per 100,000 industry employees in 1990 to 27 per 100,000 in 1995. The marine safety program apparently not only improved its mission effectiveness, but did so with fewer people and at lower cost. Since the Coast Guard's marine safety program became a GPRA pilot program in fiscal year 1994, the number of direct program personnel declined and its budget was reduced by 2 percent. According to the Coast Guard, the program achieved its results by giving field commanders greater authority and by investing in activities and processes that went most directly to the goal of reducing risks on the water. GPRA will not succeed without the strong commitment of the federal government's political and senior career leadership. Only they can ensure that each agency's strategic planning and performance measurement efforts will become the basis for its day-to-day operations. Moreover, only they can ensure that results-oriented management will endure despite the customarily high rate of turnover among political appointees.25 Some of the practices they can take to reinforce results-oriented management are to devolve decisionmaking authority within a framework of mission-oriented processes in exchange for accountability for results, create incentives to encourage a focus on outcomes, build expertise in the necessary skills, and integrate management reforms. If GPRA is to thrive over the long run, its concepts need to be made a part of organizational culture. For that to happen, the top leadership in each agency has to initiate results-oriented management, keep the agency focused on it, and embed its principles in the organization's basic approach to doing business.26 Practice 9: Devolve Decisionmaking With Accountability Leading organizations we studied create a set of mission-related processes and systems within which to operate, but they then give their managers extensive authority to pursue organizational goals while using those processes and systems. These organizations invest the time and effort to understand their processes and how those processes contribute to or hamper mission accomplishment. They then seek to ensure their processes provide managers at each organizational level with the authority and flexibility they need to contribute to the organization's mission. Allowing managers to bring their judgment to bear in meeting their responsibilities, rather than having them merely comply with overly rigid rules and standards, can help them make the most of their talents and lead to more effective and efficient operations. In our work with foreign countries that have adopted results-oriented management, we found that two reforms in particular were aimed at enhancing accountability among line managers: simplifying the rules for such things as budgeting and human resource management while 25Political Appointees: Turnover Rates in Executive Schedule Positions Requiring Senate Confirmation (GAO/GGD-94-115FS, Apr. 21, 1994). 26Organizational Culture: Techniques Companies Use to Perpetuate or Change Beliefs and Values (GAO/NSIAD-92-105, Feb. 27, 1992). Case Illustration: Army Corps of Engineers devolving decisionmaking authority.27 These two reforms were undertaken in exchange for managers assuming greater accountability for the results of their programs. Managers generally welcomed their new authority to make spending, personnel, and operational decisions that had formerly been made by central authorities. But although these countries were generally satisfied with the progress they had made, they continued to struggle with a number of important issues, such as the acceptable level of risk and the extent to which decisionmaking authority should be devolved to a given organizational level. The U.S. Army Corps of Engineers' Civil Works Directorate's Operation and Maintenance Program is responsible for the stewardship of dams, levees, and other parts of the water resources infrastructure constructed by the Corps. Operation and maintenance expenditures had become by fiscal year 1990 the single largest individual program item in the Corps' budget. In 1991, faced with rising budget pressures, a growing project inventory, and the need to become more results-oriented, the Corps initiated a comprehensive review of its civil operation and maintenance program. One major finding of the Corps' 1993 plan of improvement was the burdensome number of internal levels of review. At the majority of project sites, for example, procurement of items costing less than $25,000 required between one and five signatures; each approval beyond the first one added to the time required for the procurement and created inefficiency, revenue loss, and a potential danger to the staff and public when safety corrections were delayed. To remedy this situation, the Corps changed its processes by decentralizing its organizational structure and giving project managers new decisionmaking authority to help them achieve the desired outcomes. The intent of these changes was to put key operational decisions in the hands of the managers who were closest to the point of customer service. These managers could now focus on, and be held accountable for, achieving goals instead of merely complying with rules. Now procurements of up to $25,000 can be approved by a single individual. As part of this new approach, the Corps reformed its processes, revising its policies and procedures to ensure that only those that were necessary remained. It achieved this reduction, by and large, by indicating "what" 27GAO/GGD-95-120, May 2, 1995. Practice 10: Create Incentives was to be accomplished and leaving the "how" to the initiative of project staff. Eighty-nine engineering regulations were thereby consolidated into 7, and the number of pages of Corps' regulations was reduced from 1,596 to 306. This streamlining of its organization and processes allowed the Corps to reduce the number of its management levels. By the Corps' estimate, the savings created amounted to about $6 million annually and a reduction of 175 full-time equivalent staff years. Across government, the best incentive Congress and the executive branch can apply to foster results-oriented management is to use performance measurement data in their policy, program, and resource allocation decisions and to provide agencies with the authority and flexibility to achieve results. Like Congress and the executive branch, an agency's top political and career leadership can encourage a greater accountability for results by providing managers at each level in the organization with the appropriate authority and flexibility to obtain those results. Successful organizations we studied defined their missions clearly and communicated them to their employees-particularly to their managers-so that each one would understand his or her contribution. At both the organizational and managerial levels, accountability requires results-oriented goals and appropriate performance measures through which to gauge progress. Our study of several leading foreign governments, however, showed that although there was general agreement on how to hold organizations accountable for results, there was as yet no such agreement on how best to hold individual managers accountable.28 New Zealand and the United Kingdom held their program managers accountable for efficiently providing specific goods and services. Australia and Canada, on the other hand, hold their program managers accountable for evaluating the overall effectiveness of their programs. Congress and the executive branch continue to explore formal ways to hold individual managers accountable for results. At the agency level, however, informal incentives are available to leaders to encourage results-oriented management. Through meetings and personal contacts, for example, leaders can let managers and staff know of their commitment to achieving the agency's goals and to keeping these goals in mind as they pursue their day-to-day activities. 28GAO/GGD-95-120, May 2, 1995. Case Illustration: Department of Veterans Affairs The Department of Veterans Affairs (VA) comprises three agencies that provide services and benefits to veterans. The elevation of VA to cabinet-level status in 1989 spurred the department to make internal management improvements. To recognize and reinforce results-oriented management, VA instituted in 1992 a formal recognition program for quality achievement. The Robert W. Carey Quality Award is VA's most prestigious award for quality achievement. It is named for Robert W. Carey, who, as the Director of VA's Philadelphia Regional Office, was a "Quality Leader" and champion of excellence in the federal government. The Carey Award helps promote quality management within VA by giving the department a prominent means of recognizing high-performing offices, encouraging outcome-oriented practices, and educating VA employees about the benefits of results-oriented management and customer service. According to a VA official, the Carey Award is valuable, in part, because VA offices that want it must apply for it and the application itself becomes a useful self-assessment tool. VA announced its first Carey Award in 1992. There is one overall trophy winner annually along with several category winners. There have been 20 winners to date. Practice 11: Build Expertise To make the most of results-oriented management, staff at all levels of the organization must be skilled in strategic planning, performance measurement, and the use of performance information in decisionmaking. Training has proven to be an important tool for agencies that want to change their cultures.29 Australian government employees, for example, cited training as one of the factors that contributed the most to making reforms succeed in their areas.30 Results-oriented managers view training as an investment rather than an expense. And as human resource management experts at leading private and public organizations have pointed out, organizational learning must be continuous in order to meet changing customer needs, keep skills up to date, and develop new personal and organizational competencies.31 But at 29Organizational Culture: Use of Training to Help Change DOD Inventory Management Culture (GAO/NSIAD-94-193, Aug. 30, 1994). 30GAO/GGD-95-120, May 2, 1995. 31GAO/GGD-96-35, Dec. 26, 1995. Page 42 GAO/GGD-96-118 Government Performance and Results Act Case Illustration: Department of Defense a time when overall agency budgets are under pressure, training budgets are unlikely to increase. Therefore, it is important that agencies develop innovative and less costly ways to train their staffs-remembering as well that the level of return for investing in the skills needed for results-oriented management will depend largely on how well employees are encouraged to put those skills to use. Recognizing the value of training, especially for the people at the top of the organization, the CFO Council's GPRA Implementation Committee has begun an outreach effort directed toward senior managers in the 24 CFO Act agencies. The council's goals are to familiarize these leaders with GPRA's fundamentals and with the importance of these fundamentals for the future of federal management. In addition, in response to an initiative of the American Society for Public Administration and with the encouragement of OMB, over 30 case studies are being developed on the agencies' use of strategic planning or performance measurement. These case studies, to be completed in the summer of 1996, are to be made publicly available. The Department of Defense (DOD) is responsible for the military forces needed to deter war and protect the security of our country. DOD's major service branches-the Army, Navy, Marine Corps, and Air Force-consist of about 1.5 million men and women on active duty, 1 million members of the reserve components, and about 900,000 civilian employees. As with other federal agencies, performance information is becoming an increasingly important part of DOD's budget process. DOD's leadership has come to recognize that if the Department is to make results-oriented management a success, it must train its employees in strategic planning, performance measurement, and the use of performance information. DOD officials recognized when they were considering various methods to deliver GPRA training that the costs-in both money and time-of providing training through traditional, live classroom instruction would be prohibitive. As an alternative, DOD is now testing the feasibility of training staff at its GPRA pilot agencies via satellite. This interactive approach can reach widely dispersed audiences less expensively than traditional methods. The GPRA course originates out of a studio and has been broadcast simultaneously to up to 20 sites around the country. Since the Practice 12: Integrate Management Reforms first class in September 1995, the GPRA training has been delivered 3 times via satellite to 38 sites and has reached 760 people. In developing its GPRA training, DOD decided to go beyond the traditional lecture approach to instruction. GPRA training has included exercises and panel discussions designed to make trainees think the way they will need to when the training is over and the real work of implementing GPRA begins. Participants have been asked, for instance, to develop mission statements for their home organizations and to develop strategic goals and performance measures. According to a DOD official, the classes have been well received. DOD is also developing a self-paced GPRA course accessible on the Internet and is considering the use of CD-ROM technology. Within a given federal agency, the management reforms now under way may spring from various sources. Some of these reforms may be self-initiated, others may have been mandated by legislation, still others may be the result of administration initiatives such as the National Performance Review. All of this reform activity needs to be integrated, as the CFO Council urged in May 1995: Existing planning, budgeting, program evaluation and fiscal accountability processes should be integrated with GPRA requirements to ensure consistency and reduce duplication of effort. In addition, other management improvement efforts, such as implementation of the CFO Act, and FMFIA [Federal Managers' Financial Integrity Act], customer service initiatives, reengineering, and Total Quality Management, etc., should be incorporated into the GPRA framework to capitalize on the synergy and availability of key information and to improve responsiveness to customers and other stakeholders.32 Another management reform initiative that provides a legislative basis for measuring performance is the Information Technology Management Reform Act of 1996, which requires each federal agency to ensure that performance measures are prescribed for information technology that it will use or acquire and that the performance measures assess how well the information technology supports agency programs. In addition, the Federal Acquisition Streamlining Act of 1994 requires the head of each executive agency to approve or define the cost, performance, and schedule goals for major agency acquisition programs. 32Implementation of the Government Performance and Results Act (GPRA), Chief Financial Officers Council, May 1995. Case Illustration: Army Research Laboratory Taken together, these reforms can help redirect an organization's culture from the traditional focus on inputs and activities to a new focus on defining missions and achieving results.33 Our work has shown, however, that the top leadership of each federal agency needs to meld these various reforms into a coherent, unified effort.34 Top leadership-both political and career-needs to make clear its commitment to the fundamental principles of results-oriented management and ensure that managers and staff at all levels recognize that they must do the same. Traditionally, the danger to any management reform is that it can become a hollow, paper-driven exercise. Leaders who integrate results-oriented management into the culture and day-to-day activities of their organizations will help avoid that danger. The Army Research Laboratory (ARL) was established in October 1992 as a result of a realignment of a number of Army research and development organizations. It is now the central laboratory of the Army Materiel Command. At a time when both staffing levels and funding had been in decline since fiscal year 1989, ARL was given a major technological challenge-digitizing the battlefield for the U.S. Army. ARL concluded that to ensure that it had the capability to meet the new challenge and continue to conduct its mission of basic and applied research, it had to work in partnership with universities and the private sector, as well as operate more effectively and efficiently. This "Federated Laboratory" concept guided ARL as it integrated the various management reforms. As a GPRA pilot program, ARL developed a strategic plan that included a mission statement and long-range goals. In addition, it has produced two yearly products: a performance plan with key measures and a report detailing its progress in meeting its goals. The annual reports have been integrated into ARL's planning and budgeting processes and are discussed by agency leadership at the Director's quarterly meetings. In addition, the reports have been tied into DOD's Planning, Programming, Budget, and Execution System. ARL's performance measures gauge the relevance of ARL's current work to the agency's long-term goals and give ARL's leaders indicators of productivity and quality. As part of its performance 33Improving Government: Actions Needed to Sustain and Enhance Management Reforms (GAO/T-OCG-94-1, Jan. 27, 1994). 34See, for example, Managing IRS: Important Strides Forward Since 1988 but More Needs to Be Done (GAO/GGD-91-74, Apr. 29, 1991); General Services Administration: Status of Management Improvement Efforts (GAO/GGD-91-59, Apr. 3, 1991); and Management of VA: Implementing Strategic Management Process Would Improve Service to Veterans (GAO/HRD-90-109, Aug. 31, 1990). measurement efforts, ARL established customer service standards and sent surveys to its customers to obtain feedback on the quality of its work. As a National Performance Review "reinvention laboratory," ARL has been granted waivers by DOD and the Army from internal regulations in order to streamline its processes. For example, one such waiver allowed ARL to eliminate redundant reviews of certain procurements, thereby saving 5 workdays on each procurement. Saving time on administrative processes frees staff to perform the principal mission of the laboratory. Facing pressures similar to those confronting federal managers to reduce costs and improve performance, leading state and foreign governments have responded by implementing management reform efforts consistent with GPRA. The experiences of these governments-and those of the federal GPRA pilots-demonstrate that each federal agency will need to chart its own course in response to its specific environment as it seeks to implement GPRA and become more results-oriented. Nonetheless, the experiences of the leading organizations suggest that the steps and practices discussed in this guide can assist agencies in successfully implementing GPRA. Federal agencies that apply the practices may find that their transition to a results orientation is quicker, smoother, and, most important, more successful in providing the effective and efficient government the American people deserve. Appendix I Overview of the Government Performance and Results Act The Government Performance and Results Act (GPRA) is the primary legislative framework through which agencies will be required to set strategic goals, measure performance, and report on the degree to which goals were met. It requires each federal agency to develop, no later than by the end of fiscal year 1997, strategic plans that cover a period of at least 5 years and include the agency's mission statement; identify the agency's long-term strategic goals; and describe how the agency intends to achieve those goals through its activities and through its human, capital, information, and other resources. Under GPRA, agency strategic plans are the starting point for agencies to set annual goals for programs and to measure the performance of the programs in achieving those goals. Also, GPRA requires each agency to submit to the Office of Management and Budget (OMB), beginning for fiscal year 1999, an annual performance plan. The first annual performance plans are to be submitted in the fall of 1997. The annual performance plan is to provide the direct linkage between the strategic goals outlined in the agency's strategic plan and what managers and employees do day-to-day. In essence, this plan is to contain the annual performance goals the agency will use to gauge its progress toward accomplishing its strategic goals and identify the performance measures the agency will use to assess its progress. Also, OMB will use individual agencies' performance plans to develop an overall federal government performance plan that OMB is to submit annually to Congress with the president's budget, beginning for fiscal year 1999. GPRA requires that each agency submit to the President and to the appropriate authorization and appropriations committees of Congress an annual report on program performance for the previous fiscal year (copies are to be provided to other congressional committees and to the public upon request). The first of these reports, on program performance for fiscal year 1999, is due by March 31, 2000, and subsequent reports are due by March 31 for the years that follow. However, for fiscal years 2000 and 2001, agencies' reports are to include performance data beginning with fiscal year 1999. For each subsequent year, agencies are to include performance data for the year covered by the report and 3 prior years. In each report, an agency is to review and discuss its performance compared with the performance goals it established in its annual performance plan. When a goal is not met, the agency's report is to explain the reasons the goal was not met; plans and schedules for meeting the goal; and, if the goal was impractical or not feasible, the reasons for that and the actions recommended. Actions needed to accomplish a goal could Page 48 GAO/GGD-96-118 Government Performance and Results Act include legislative, regulatory, or other actions or, when the agency found a goal to be impractical or infeasible, a discussion of whether the goal ought to be modified. In addition to evaluating the progress made toward achieving annual goals established in the performance plan for the fiscal year covered by the report, an agency's program performance report is to evaluate the agency's performance plan for the fiscal year in which the performance report was submitted (for example, in their fiscal year 1999 performance reports, due by March 31, 2000, agencies are required to evaluate their performance plans for fiscal year 2000 on the basis of their reported performance in fiscal year 1999). This evaluation will help to show how an agency's actual performance is influencing its plans. Finally, the report is to include the summary findings of program evaluations completed during the fiscal year covered by the report. Congress recognized that in some cases not all of the performance data will be available in time for the March 31 reporting date. In such cases, agencies are to provide whatever data are available, with a notation as to their incomplete status. Subsequent annual reports are to include the complete data as part of the trend information. In crafting GPRA, Congress also recognized that managerial accountability for results is linked to managers having sufficient flexibility, discretion, and authority to accomplish desired results. GPRA authorizes agencies to apply for managerial flexibility waivers in their annual performance plans beginning with fiscal year 1999. The authority of agencies to request waivers of administrative procedural requirements and controls is intended to provide federal managers with more flexibility to structure agency systems to better support program goals. The nonstatutory requirements that OMB can waive under GPRA generally involve the allocation and use of resources, such as restrictions on shifting funds among items within a budget account. Agencies must report in their annual performance reports on the use and effectiveness of any GPRA managerial flexibility waivers that they receive. GPRA calls for phased implementation so that selected pilot projects in the agencies can develop experience from implementing GPRA requirements in fiscal years 1994 through 1996 before implementation is required for all agencies. As of June 1996, 68 pilot projects for performance planning and performance reporting were under way in 24 agencies. OMB also is required to select at least five agencies from among the initial pilot agencies to pilot Page 49 GAO/GGD-96-118 Government Performance and Results Act managerial accountability and flexibility for fiscal years 1995 and 1996; however, as of June 1996 it had not done so. Finally, GPRA requires OMB to select at least five agencies, at least three of which have had experience developing performance plans during the initial GPRA pilot phase, to test performance budgeting for fiscal years 1998 and 1999. Performance budgets to be prepared by pilot projects for performance budgeting are intended to provide Congress with information on the direct relationship between proposed program spending and expected program results and the anticipated effects of varying spending levels on results. Appendix II Objectives, Scope, and Methodology Our objectives were to (1) identify and describe the practices most helpful to successfully implementing GPRA and related results-oriented management initiatives and (2) provide case illustrations of federal organizations that have made progress in implementing each practice. This report builds on (1) our 1994 report profiling leading private and public sector organizations that have successfully improved mission performance and program outcomes through the innovative use of information management and technology and (2) our 1995 report on the human resource management principles employed by selected public and private organizations to build and sustain high levels of organizational performance.35 Together, these reports are intended to suggest frameworks for Congress and federal agencies to use in implementing GPRA and related results-oriented management initiatives. To meet our first objective, we reviewed the experiences of leading public sector organizations that were successfully changing their management and accountability practices to be more results-oriented. As part of that effort, we issued separate reports on the experiences of six leading U.S. state and four foreign governments.36 We also reviewed the management studies of 23 large federal departments and agencies that we did during the last decade as well as a broad array of our other management and program work. To supplement our work looking at leading organizations, we identified and reviewed a large body of literature on management reform, strategic planning, and performance measurement. From our work, we identified a number of practices common to successful efforts to become more results-oriented. We obtained input from a wide range of federal executives and managers and experts in public sector strategic planning, performance measurement, and program and policy evaluation, including those from the Departments of Defense, Commerce, Transportation, and the Treasury; OMB; the Office of Personnel Management; the National Academy of Public Administration; the Urban Institute; and the University of Southern California. On the basis of their comments and our continuing reviews of leading organizations, we consolidated and refined the list of practices to those presented in this guide. To meet our second objective, we identified those federal agencies that were instituting results-oriented management from our ongoing work on the implementation of GPRA at 24 departments and large agencies (covering about 98 percent of the federal government's fiscal year 1994 outlays) and 35GAO/AIMD-94-115, May 1994; and GAO/GGD-96-35, Dec. 26, 1995, respectively. 36GAO/GGD-95-22, Dec. 21, 1994; and GAO/GGD-95-120, May 2, 1995. The methodologies for selecting these leading governments are detailed in the respective reports. Page 51 GAO/GGD-96-118 Government Performance and Results Act OMB's identification of agencies making early progress in implementing selected aspects of GPRA. In this way, we targeted our work toward agencies that would provide examples illustrating each of the practices. The fact that an organization is profiled for a particular practice is not meant to imply the organization's success or lack of success in meeting other practices. Moreover, underscoring the fact that implementing management changes required by GPRA will not come quickly, most of the agencies profiled began their results-oriented management before GPRA was enacted. We interviewed agency officials in program offices, strategic planning and quality management offices, and planning and evaluation offices. We also reviewed agency documents, such as strategic plans, performance plans, performance reports, program descriptions and documentation, and other related documents. We did our work on this guide from January 1995 to March 1996 in Washington, D.C., in accordance with generally accepted government auditing standards. The steps and practices presented in this executive guide are largely a synthesis of previously published information and analysis. We provided a draft of this guide to OMB, the CFO Council's GPRA Implementation Committee, and to the individual agencies profiled in the case illustrations for their review and comment. OMB noted that the guide and the practices suggested in it will help federal agencies as they implement GPRA. OMB also expressed support for the guide's focus on agency use of performance information to improve management and program performance and to demonstrate that federal agencies are using taxpayers' money effectively. OMB concurred with our observation that the federal government is at the beginning, rather than the end, of the process of turning itself into a more accountable, better managed, more effective organization. Finally, OMB noted that the development and refinement of performance measures will be an ongoing process. We also provided copies of a draft of this guide for comment to the agency representatives on the CFO Council's GPRA Implementation Committee and incorporated their individual comments as appropriate. Generally, their comments suggested that the steps and practices we identified from the leading organizations studied were valid and complete, and that the case illustrations were accurate to the best of their knowledge. We also asked officials in each of the agencies profiled as case illustrations to verify the accuracy of the information presented on their respective agencies; Page 52 GAO/GGD-96-118 Government Performance and Results Act however, we did not independently verify the accuracy of that information. Appendix III Major Contributors to This Executive Guide L. Nye Stevens, Director, Federal Management and Workforce Issues, (202) 512-8676 Michael Brostek, Associate Director, (202) 512-9039 J. Christopher Mihm, Assistant Director, (202) 512-3236Lisa R. Shames, Project Manager, (202) 512-2649 Stephen Altman Thomas M. Beall Barbara H. Bordelon Janet C. Eackloff Carolyn J. Hill Donna M. Leiss Victoria M. O'Dea Dorothy L. Self Katherine M. Wheeler Related GAO Products Managing for Results: Achieving GPRA's Objectives Requires Strong Congressional Role (GAO/T-GGD-96-79, Mar. 6, 1996). GPRA Performance Reports (GAO/GGD-96-66R, Feb. 14, 1996). Office of Management and Budget: Changes Resulting From the OMB 2000 Reorganization (GAO/GGD/AIMD-96-50, Dec. 29, 1995). Transforming the Civil Service: Building the Workforce of the Future, Results of a GAO-Sponsored Symposium (GAO/GGD-96-35, Dec. 26, 1995). Financial Management: Continued Momentum Essential to Achieve CFO Act Goals (GAO/T-AIMD-96-10, Dec. 14, 1995). Block Grants: Issues in Designing Accountability Provisions (GAO/AIMD-95-226, Sept. 1, 1995). Managing for Results: Status of the Government Performance and Results Act (GAO/T-GGD-95-193, June 27, 1995). Managing for Results: Critical Actions for Measuring Performance (GAO/T-GGD/AIMD-95-187, June 20, 1995). Managing for Results: The Department of Justice's Initial Efforts to Implement GPRA (GAO/GGD-95-167FS, June 20, 1995). Government Reorganization: Issues and Principles (GAO/T-GGD/AIMD-95-166, May 17, 1995). Managing for Results: Steps for Strengthening Federal Management (GAO/T-GGD/AIMD-95-158, May 9, 1995). Managing for Results: Experiences Abroad Suggest Insights for Federal Management Reforms (GAO/GGD-95-120, May 2, 1995). Government Reform: Goal-Setting and Performance (GAO/AIMD/GGD-95-130R, Mar. 27, 1995). Block Grants: Characteristics, Experience, and Lessons Learned (GAO/HEHS-95-74, Feb. 9, 1995). Program Evaluation: Improving the Flow of Information to the Congress (GAO/PEMD-95-1, Jan. 30, 1995). Managing for Results: State Experiences Provide Insights for Federal Management Reforms (GAO/GGD-95-22, Dec. 21, 1994). Management Reforms: Examples of Public and Private Innovations to Improve Service Delivery (GAO/AIMD/GGD-94-90BR, Feb. 11, 1994). Performance Budgeting: State Experiences and Implications for the Federal Government (GAO/AFMD-93-41, Feb. 17, 1993). Ordering Information The first copy of each GAO report and testimony is free. Additional copies are $2 each. Orders should be sent to the following address, accompanied by a check or money order made out to the Superintendent of Documents, when necessary. VISA and MasterCard credit cards are accepted, also. Orders for 100 or more copies to be mailed to a single address are discounted 25 percent. Orders by mail: U.S. General Accounting Office P.O. Box 6015Gaithersburg, MD 20884-6015 or visit: Room 1100 700 4th St. NW (corner of 4th and G Sts. NW) U.S. General Accounting OfficeWashington, DC Orders may also be placed by calling (202) 512-6000 or by using fax number (301) 258-4066, or TDD (301) 413-0006. Each day, GAO issues a list of newly available reports and testimony. To receive facsimile copies of the daily list or any list from the past 30 days, please call (202) 512-6000 using a touchtone phone. A recorded menu will provide information on how to obtain these lists. For information on how to access GAO reports on the INTERNET, send an e-mail message with "info" in the body to: info@www.gao.gov or visit GAO's World Wide Web Home Page at: http://www.gao.gov PRINTED ON RECYCLED PAPER Bulk Rate Postage & Fees Paid GAO Permit No. G100 United States General Accounting Office Washington, D.C. 20548-0001 Official Business Penalty for Private Use $300 Address Correction Requested Legal Aid forced to raise rates Hoped-for grants fail to come through for busy firm Mon, June 10, 2002 By TIM GURRISTER Standard-Examiner staff OGDEN -- For most lawyers, full waiting rooms and appointments booked out to mid-July would equate to a lucrative law practice. But Frank Smith drives a 6-year-old car with 140,000 miles on it, and paying his senior paralegal minimum wage the last few months has put him in the red. Hoped-for federal grants haven"t come through, so he"s had to raise his rates. As of last week he charges $50 an hour minimum instead of $25 for the services of his yearling Northern Utah Legal Aid Foundation. That"s in a lawyer"s market where fees range in the $150 to $250 an hour range in the Ogden area, and up to $400 an hour in the Salt Lake area. Smith"s one-lawyer foundation basically helps the folks who have too much money to qualify for the federally funded Utah Legal Services, but not enough money to afford a lawyer. Public interest law "It"s public interest law," Smith said. "I wouldn"t be doing it if I didn"t enjoy it. You can take a case just on its merits. "It"s very personally satisfying to do good legal work without having to worry about getting paid. "That"s a luxury lawyers don"t usually have." Smith headed the Ogden office of Utah Legal Services for nine years, leaving about a year ago over a dispute with management in Salt Lake. The departure left him free to open his own discount law shop at 2485 Grant Ave. His "work in progress," as he calls it, mirrors the no-fee legal services guidelines. He uses the same federal poverty guidelines to determine his hourly rate, which tops out at $87.50. A big part of Smith"s clientele comes from referrals from his old job. His client base is all referrals, since he doesn"t advertise. If he did advertise, his volunteer, 45-hours-a-week office manager Jody Smith, no relation, says she might kill him. "Swimming upstream" "We"re swimming upstream big time here," she said. The office opens at 9 a.m., and rarely closes before 6 p.m., with 7:30 the norm, and 9 p.m. not unusual. "We close when we get to close," she said. "And then he (Frank) will come in on Saturdays and Sundays to catch up on paperwork. My husband Bob is totally supportive, or I couldn"t do this." Pro bono help needed With the $80,000 in grant funds he was trying for, Smith had thought of hiring a lawyer, and paying Jody. Frank Smith won"t say it, but Jody will mention her disappointment at how few lawyers volunteer to help the foundation by taking some cases pro bono, without fee. "We get a lot of that," she said, noting that so far only Lavar "Bud" Stark is pitching in. "I have not asked other attorneys to handle cases, so I haven"t been turned down," Frank Smith said. "So I can"t say I"m disappointed. Not yet. He"s planning to take a formal proposal to one of the monthly meetings of the Weber County Bar Association this summer. He"ll be asking all the lawyers who refer penniless clients to him, to set up a fee schedule like his, so he can refer his overflow to them. One of the most recent local lawyers to "pledge" as Jody Smith calls it, is Kent Snider. "He"s fabulous," Snider says of Frank Smith. "He"s too modest. There"s a huge need he"s trying to fill." It"s endemic to the entire profession, Snider said: "Basically if you"re rich, you can hire lawyers, and if you"re poor, you can have one appointed. "Anything in between, you"re screwed. Basically the general public can"t afford appropriate legal services." Family law a priority The biggest part of the foundation"s work is family law: divorce, custody, child support, etc. In the midst of his custody fight, Chris Barboza, Ogden, heard about Smith from the friend of a friend two months ago. "If someone trusts their children with an attorney, I"ve got to get that attorney," he said. He"d used up $900 on his prior attorney, a lot of it blown on four failed attempts to get his exwife served with adoption papers. She died before that could happen while hospitalized with a chronic ailment. "I couldn"t get anything done with the other lawyer without more money. "It was kind of a little miracle that I got hold of Frank," Barboza said. "He didn"t sit there rubbing his head wondering what to do like these other lawyers. He just said. 'It looks like a tough fight. Let"s get it on,' and went right to work." Praise for Smith An Ogden man, who has been in a custody fight with his ex-wife for more than two years over visitation of a 3-year-old daughter in Sanpete County he hasn"t seen since she was 8 months old, also had praise for Smith. The man"s experience had left him bitter about the legal system, since he wasn"t able to retain a lawyer. "A lawyer of any kind would help, otherwise they assume you"re a deadbeat," the man said. Smith was able to hook him up with a pro bono lawyer in Sanpete County, unable to take the case himself, since his range of practice is from Logan to Bountiful. "He"s a good guy. He"s trying to help a lot of people, but he"s overwhelmed," the Ogden father said. "Frank was referred to me by the guy who was referred to me by another guy." "You wonder what you"re going to be when you grow up," lawyer Smith said. "Hopefully along the way you find something you enjoy. This type of law suits me. "I don"t know why. Who knows. I just get personal satisfaction out of this." JSTOR is successful for reasons its founders did not intend. Bill Bowen's inspired vision was of a solution to libraries' ever-voracious demands for space to house paper volumes. The idea was that libraries could save space by removing volumes available in electronic format. Few libraries have discarded the volumes digitised in JSTOR, but many libraries without the paper volumes have been able to offer their users access to the important journal runs JSTOR has digitised. Paper holdings have not decreased dramatically, but electronic holdings have increased. So a space-saving service became an access service. As an access service, JSTOR is a creation of its time. Understandable though the decision to use page images may have been eight years ago, future user-friendly access requires searching capabilities across full-text, which page images cannot supply. Likewise, the decision to digitise the back-runs of around 100now 218paper journals was a bold decision at the time, but the future for access to journal literature lies in electronic versions of thousands rather than hundreds of titles, both current and retrospective. When we reach that point, JSTOR will still have a valued place in the content on offer, but it is difficult to see JSTOR providing thousands rather than a few hundred titles. Its technical solutions and financial models look dated as both subscription-based and open-access publishers improve their services to authors and to readers. As the number of journal articles accessible over the networks increases, JSTOR will be seen as a small-scale pioneer from which we learned valuable lessons. Roger Schonfeld ends his very detailed description of JSTOR with a chapter on Lessons Learned, many of which are relevant to current access initiatives. The need for grant funding to launch any such initiative has to be accompanied by a sound business plan to ensure long-term economic viability. JSTOR has achieved that transition, and its success provides a model for others. Much of the credit must go to JSTOR's enterprising president, Kevin Guthrie, who found the quickest way through the maze of conflicting advicemuch of which could have resulted in JSTOR's reaching a deadendand convinced the library and publishing communities to buy into a product that was only a promise. Meeting user needs for easy access to high-quality content was the key to the fulfilment of that promise. JSTOR's public image is of quality in depthlong runs of core journalsand that image has to become the hallmark of the new open-access initiatives as they develop. It is understandable that some mistakes were made on the way. The difficulty that JSTOR financial planning had in coming to terms with consortial purchases delayed its growth as an access service. Although selling to consortia of academic libraries may not have improved JSTOR's financial position in the short-term, consortia are a route to spreading access and therefore securing longer-term financial stability (as the major publishers have realised through their Big Deals in selling hundreds of journals to hundreds of libraries in a consortium). Some opportunities were also delayednot lostthrough too slow an adaptation of the JSTOR purchasing model for selling outside the United States, the United Kingdom being the exception. The UK deal was with JISC, the Joint Information Systems Committee of the UK Higher Education Funding Councils, acting more as a negotiating agent than a consortium, and this model could have been applied in other countries. More countries would have valued access to JSTOR earlier, but the approach to non-US deals had to be imaginative. For all vendors, there has to be an understanding of the political, social, economic, and educational structure of the country into which the product is being sold, an understanding that takes time to acquire but that pays dividends. Open-access publishers do not have to sell their product to users of their journals, but local knowledge is essential in selling their services to authors. The globalisation of publishing has combined with the globalisation of the networks and with the globalisation of research to provide opportunities for high-quality research conducted outside North America and Western Europe to be published in peer-reviewed open-access journals more readily than in the traditional subscription-based journals. Roger Schonfeld's book draws out many of the significant points about JSTOR's place in the history of electronic publication through a minute examination of the process leading to JSTOR as it is today. There is so much detail in the book that the reader may feel that its comprehensiveness cannot be questioned, but one small omission of which I have personal knowledge makes me question the value of so much detail. The omission concerns the interest by my institution, University College London, in joining JSTOR before the JISC deal was considered. Not a detail of world-shattering significance, but it does illustrate the fact that outside the United States, as well as within, the early interest in JSTOR came from individual institutions rather than from consortia. I sympathise with Roger Schonfeld in attempting to write such a comprehensive history, but what is the point of appearing to be comprehensive when comprehensiveness is an impossible goal? Would a briefer history have been just as valuable? Leaving aside quibbles and caveats about the book and about JSTOR, this remains a fascinating and instructive history of an important and ground-breaking initiative. Bill Bowen's vision may not have developed in quite the way he expected, but the bottom-line is that the vision did become a successful reality. The problem of ever-expanding libraries has not gone away in the ten years since JSTOR was conceived, but the ultimate solutionthe availability of electronic contenthas become closer, and JSTOR's success has encouraged others to develop services that are more in accord with 2003 than 1993. One lesson Roger Schonfeld does not draw out is the pace of change in electronic publishing, and if so much has been achieved since 1993, what promise is held out by the next ten years'! The pathologist makes do with red wine until an effective drug is available, the biochemist discards the bread from her sandwiches, and the mathematician indulges in designer chocolate with a clear conscience. The demographer sticks to vitamin supplements, and while the evolutionary biologist calculates the compensations of celibacy, the population biologist transplants gonads, but so far only those of his laboratory mice. Their common cause is to control and extend the healthy lifespan of humans. They want to cure ageing and the diseases that come with it. I would take resveratrol if it were feasible, notes David Sinclair, assistant professor of pathology at Harvard Medical School in Boston, Massachusetts. In the meantime, he adds, I do enjoy a glass of red wine about once a day. It was Sinclair's laboratory, in association with a commercial partner, that revealed last August how the team had identified for the first time a group of simple organic molecules capable of extending lifespan. The most proficient of the group is resveratrol, the plant polyphenol found in red wine, and its discovery as a potential elixir to combat ageing represents another extraordinary advance in a decade of discoveries that have revolutionised the field. These molecules will be useful for treating diseases associated with ageing, like diabetes and Alzheimer's. Extending Life Although the life-enhancing effects of Sinclair's polyphenols are so far confined to the baker's yeast Saccharomyces cerevisiae , the work suggests that researchers are only one small step from making a giant leap for humankind. People imagined that it might have been possible, but few people thought that it was going to be possible so quickly to find such things, says Sinclair. The field of ageing research is buzzing. Resveratrol stimulated a known activator of increased longevity in yeast, the enzyme Sir-2, and thereby extended the organism's lifespan by 70% (Box 1). Sir-2 belongs to a family of proteins with members in higher organisms, including SIR-2.1, an enzyme that regulates lifespan in worms, and SIRT-1, the human enzyme that promotes cell survival (Figure 1). Though researchers still do not know whether SIRT-1, or Sir-2 in humans, as Sinclair puts it, has anything to do with longevity, there is a good chance that it does, judging by its pedigree. In any event, resveratrol proved to be a potent activator of the human enzyme. This might not be altogether surprising, at least not now, given that the polyphenol is already associated with health benefits in humans, notably the mitigation of such age-related defects as neurodegeneration, carcinogenesis, and atherosclerosis. The study came out from a pretty big gamble, recalls Sinclair, who used the human enzyme to screen and identify molecules that he expected would also stimulate those related enzymes in lower organisms. Unlike SIRT-1, these related enzymes are known to increase longevity when activated, usually by restricting the organism's calorie intake. Not only did they find a whole collection of related polyphenols that activate Sir-2 from humans, but we put them onto yeast, justbeing the simplest model, and amazingly [they] did what we were hoping [they] would do, recalls Sinclair. But it was a real long shot. Now there's great eagerness in the Sinclair laboratory to complete and publish related research, notably by replicating the yeast work in higher organisms. We have very promising results in Drosophila , which is a huge jump from a yeast cell, says Sinclair. So we're very encouraged by that. Publication of these results is imminent. The team has also quickly broadened its horizons and is already testing the polyphenols on mouse disease models. We think we may have tapped into a cell survival and defence programme [and] that these molecules will be useful for treating diseases associated with ageing, like diabetes and Alzheimer's, says Sinclair. He hopes to publish the diabetes results by mid-2004 and those for Alzheimer's by the end of the year. Harvard and BIOMOL Research Laboratories, its commercial partner based in Pennsylvania, have already filed a patent application for the use of synthetic related molecules to combat diseases of ageingan application, Sinclair adds, very much linked to the [polyphenols] paper. There's been a radical shift in attitude towards ageing, says Sinclair. Before the 1990s, people thought that we were a lot like cars, that we would just rust and breakdownnothing we could do about it. The new idea is that there are pathways that can boost our defences against ageingthe ageing-can-be-regulated discovery that genes can control ageing [and] that there are pathways that [we can use to] slow down the process, he says. If that's trueand it really seems to be true for a lot of organismsif it's true for us, it really means that there is hope that we will be able, one day, to find small molecules that can alter these pathways. How Long Could We Live? Sinclair expects to see such developments within his lifetime, but he ridicules the notion that humans will experience anything like the 70% extension to lifespan of his cultured yeast. It'll be great if we can just give people an extra five years and have less disease in their old age and make it less painful, he says. We won't be seeing any Methuselahs around, he insists. On his side are James Vaupel, one of Europe's leading demographers, and Marc Mangel, a mathematical modeller at the University of California at Santa Cruz. Since 1840, life expectancy has been going up at 2.5 years per decade and will continue at this rate, maybe a little faster, says Vaupel, head of the Laboratory of Survival and Longevity at the Max Planck Institute for Demographic Research in Rostock, Germany. Women in Japan currently have the highest average life expectancy of 85, he notes: So the figure could be 100 in six decades, but not 500. There's remarkably little people can do even if they want to live as long as possible, he says. Give up smoking, lose weight, don't drive when drunk, install a smoke detector, take regular exercise, suggests Vaupel, who insists he does them all, as well as taking vitamin supplements. You look at these worms and think, Oh my God, these worms should be dead. But they're not. They're moving around. Mangel sees the problem of assessing the limitations of ageing research as fairly straightforward. Mathematical models, he says, could solve it by linking demographic properties and physiological developments. We've had a separation of the biology of ageing and the demography of ageing, and they need to come together again, notes Mangel, whose personal anti-ageing regime involves taking a dose of anti-oxidant chocolate with a good feeling. But Cythnia Kenyon, whose laboratory reported in October that it had generated a 6-fold increase in the lifespan of its nematodes, is not so sure about the limitations. You look at these worms and think, Oh my God, these worms should be dead. But they're not. They're moving around. Once you get your brain wrapped around that then you start thinking, oh my goodness, so lifespan is something you can changeit's plastic. Then who knows what the limit is? (Cynthia Kenyon has recorded video clips of the superstars of her lab, Caenorhabditis elegans , to show how long-lived mutant nematodes are as vigorous as normal young adults [Videos 14].) Warming to the theme, Kenyon hypothesises: If you'd asked me many generations ago, when we were actually common precursors of worms and flies, Cynthia, you have a two-week lifespan, do you think that you could [live longer]? And if I'd told you, Well, I think our descendants will live 1,000 times longer, you'd have said, Oh, come on! But we do. It happened, she notes. Who knows what you could do in people? Kenyon muses. I don't want to go on record saying that it's not possible in people because I don't see why it wouldn't be. I'm certainly not imagining that my company in the next few years is going to come up with a compound that can make people live to be 500. That seems just preposterous. So the timescale is millions of years? No, not necessarily, she insists, because once we understand the mechanism, then we can intervene and see what we can accomplish. Signalling Life and Sweet 16 Kenyon, professor of biochemistry and biophysics at the University of California at San Francisco, is among the key contributors responsible for showing that a single gene, and subsequently many genes, can change an organism's lifespan. It is inconceivable that a life-extending therapy will ever be developed that is able to extend life independent of every other change. In a seminal paper published a decade ago, Kenyon's laboratory showed that mutations in the daf-2 gene doubled the lifespan of the nematode C. elegans . daf-2 encodes a receptor that is similar to those for insulin and insulin-like growth factor-1 (IGF-1) in humans; this hormone receptor normally speeds up ageing in worms, but the mutations inhibit its action and enable the organisms to live longer. Before the results appeared, there was a very negative attitude towards ageing research, recalls Kenyon. Since then, and especially over the past few years in response to later findings, graduate students have been scrambling for a chance to work in her laboratory. You can't believe the differencethere was such resistance to it, she says. daf-2 made a huge difference. But then so did her subsequent research in the field. Among her most significant findings is the identification of many more longevity genes; the results, published in July, derive directly from her early work on daf-2 . We discovered that in order for long-lived worms to live so long, they need another gene called daf-16 , recalls Kenyon. daf-16 is kind of the opposite of daf-2 , in the sense that it promotes longevity and youthfulness so we call it sweet 16. daf-16 encodes a transcription factor that controls the expression of more than 100 genes. They don't do just one thing, they do many things, says Kenyon. They can act as anti-oxidants (to prevent damage from oxygen radicals), as chaperones (to prevent misfolded proteins from forming aggregates), as antimicrobials (to protect against bacteria and fungi), and as metabolic agents. So the picture that emerges is that the way the insulin/IGF-1 hormone system produces these enormous effects on lifespan is by coordinating the expression of many genes that do different things to affect lifespan, each of which on its own has only a small effect, notes Kenyon. It's as though daf-2 and daf-16 , the regulators, would be the conductors of an orchestra. They bring together the flutes and the violins and the French horns, each of which do different things, and they make them all work together in concert. Kenyon is unequivocal about the bottom line: Now we have a whole set of genes whose biochemical functions we can be working on to understand more about the actual mechanisms of ageing. Complementary results in flies and mammals persuade her to be more explicit. The common ancestor of worms, flies, and mice must have had an insulin/IGF-1-like hormone system that controlled ageing. And that ability has been maintained. So the question is, has [that ability] been lost in humans? I think it's quite likely that it will also function in humans, but there isn't a direct demonstration yet that that's the case. Nevertheless, the discoveries about the role of the insulin/IGF-1 pathway in ageing have had a profound impact on her own lifestyle, which includes a tendency to discard the bread from sandwiches and eat only the toppings of pizzas (Box 2). I'm on a low-carb diet. I gave my worms glucose, and it shortened their lifespan. [The diet] makes sense because it keeps your insulin levels down, she says. Caloric restriction extends lifespan of mice, and so does the insulin/IGF-1 pathway, she notes. Indeed, starting a low-calorie diet at any point in adulthood appears to help fruit flies live longer, according to research in Britain published last September. What we don't know for sure in mice, Kenyon continues, is whether the two pathways are different or the same. While much ageing research focuses on these two influences, she says that there are another two areas of investigation. Her laboratory reported in December 2002 that inhibiting the respiration of mitochondria in developing worms increased longevity, but that it had no effect in adult worms, for reasons still unexplained, she says. Further microarray analysis is underway to pinpoint whether the cause simply lies downstream of the insulin/IGF-1 pathway or whether it is something different altogether. The Price of Life Then there's research looking at the effects on lifespan of changes to an organism's reproductive system. For Kenyon, such work often involves a battle to convince sceptics that longevity is not a trade-off with fertility. Four years ago, her laboratory reported that killing germ cells increases the lifespan of worms by 60%, but only because, she stresses, it affects endocrine signalling and not because it prevents reproduction. Further research, published last year, showed quite clearly, she says, that ageing and reproduction are controlled independently of one another. And as for her recent work on infertile worms, which lived six times as long as normal following the removal of their entire reproductive systems, she says: If we could intervene in the hormone signalling pathways directly, we think the animals would still live six times as long as normal, but would be fertile as well. Jim Carey is one of those trade-off sceptics. He is a population biologist at the University of California at Davis and his research, on the effect on life expectancy of replacing the ovaries of old mice with ovaries from younger mice, is intended to complement Kenyon's work. But he insists that an honest discussion of lifespan extension must include consideration of tradeoffs. Many manipulations that extend lifespan in model systems, whether genetic or dietary, for example, ignore or gloss over the side effects, such as permanent sterility, huge weight loss, distorted organ-to-body ratios, or major behavioural aberrations, he notes. It is inconceivable to me that a life-extending therapy will ever be developed that is able to extend life independent of every other change, he concludes. All life systems are interlinked and hierarchically integrated at all levels, so to talk about life extension using analogies with a car warranty concept is wrong-headed. Another trade-off sceptic takes a different tack. As Armand Leroi puts it: During occasional periods of involuntary celibacy I have thought, well, I may not be getting laid, but at least I shall live to a miserable and solitary old age. Leroi, an evolutionary biologist at Imperial College of Science, Technology, and Medicine in London, offers an optimistic appraisal of the chances of finding a cure for ageing in his new book about the effects of genetic variety on the human body. He sees ageing simply as a collection of curable diseases: There is no obvious impediment to that advance, nothing to make us think that human beings have a fixed lifespan. During the last few years, we have seen enormous strides in our abilities to sequence genomes, and the information that has poured out of these sequences is quite astonishing. With more than 150 complete genome sequences now available and many laboratories rushing into microarray analysis, proteomic initiatives, and even systems biology, it seems an appropriate time to consider not just the opportunities those sequences present, but also their shortcomings. By far the most serious problem is the quality and degree of completeness of the annotation of those genomes. Most troublesome are the large numbers of open reading frames that have been identified by computer programs, but remain labeled as a conserved hypothetical protein when they occur in more than one genome or simply a hypothetical protein when they appear unique to the genome in question. Between them, these two categories of annotated open reading frames often represent more than half of the potential protein-coding regions of a genome. These annotations highlight just one portion of our ignorance about the information content of genomes and our lack of fundamental knowledge about the function of so many of the building blocks of cells. Unless we rectify this situation, it is likely to undermine many of the other -omic efforts currently underway. Here I advocate a rather straightforward approach to address this problemfocused initially on the bacterial genomes. In contrast to the numerous proposals for big science initiatives to understand the fundamental workings of biological organisms, I propose a small science, relatively low-tech approach that could have a dramatic pay off. A relatively small investment could yield a massive amount of information that would greatly enhance our current efforts to use genomic approaches to study life. Initial Proposal The initial proposal is directed at deciphering the role of the hypothetical proteins encoded in the microbial genomes and would involve a community-wide approach to determine the function of these hypotheticals based on solid, old-fashioned biochemistry. The essence of the idea is to undertake an interdisciplinary effort that couples our current bioinformatics capabilities to predict protein function with a directed exploration by experimental laboratories to test those predictions. I would encourage a consortium of bioinformaticians to produce a list of all of the conserved hypothetical proteins that are found in multiple genomes, to carry out the best possible bioinformatics analysis, and then to offer those proteins to the biochemical community as potential targets for research into their function. To energize laboratories with appropriate expertise to participate in this community-wide effort, I suggest that a special program be set up by one or more of the funding agencies so that laboratories undertaking the investigation of any particular protein receive a small grant upfront as a supplement to an existing grant. Upon completion of the project and the identification of the function, they would receive a further supplement to that grant as a reward. In this way, one might hope to rally some of the best biochemical talent and apply it to this problem of determining function for a wide range of new proteins. The cost of such an operation could be quite minimal, and the bureaucracy and review process could be equally simple. Here is a case where a modest infusion of funds could greatly enhance our ability to annotate both existing and new genome sequences and ensure that our current investments in genomic sequences yield the richest biological harvest possible. There are two key steps in the proposed plan. Key Steps The first step is to encourage some bioinformaticians with appropriate expertise in the functional annotation of genomes to form a consortium and undertake the assembly of a list of prime targets for which an experimental demonstration of function would be most valuable. Three general classes of such genes come to mind: (1) The conserved hypothetical genes. These belong to the set of genes that have orthologs in many other genomes, but for which no function has been experimentally determined in any case. A recent success among such genes is illustrated in Box 1. (2) The hypothetical genes. These form the set of genes that are predicted to be protein coding, but that lack similar genes in any other organism in GenBank. They, too, have no assigned function. (3) The misannotated genes. These genes are ones for which a function has been assigned, but for which there is a good reason to believe the annotation is incorrect. These sets of targets would be combined and arranged into a prioritized list in which each was accompanied by the best assessment of potential function. The priorities would be based on which genes were most likely to prove broadly informative. For instance, a conserved hypothetical gene that occurred in most genomes would be of higher priority than one that had only two orthologs. The list would be on a public Web site where these targets and the predicted functions could be examined and modified by alternative or additional predictions from other groups to guide future experimentation. As function was derived, that information could be presented and the target removed from the main list. The second step would be to invite experimentalists to peruse the list and find those potential genes whose protein products might lie within their realm of expertise so that they could use their experimental knowledge and reagents to quickly test for function. Initially, I would advocate allowing laboratory teams to pick and choose among the list and sign up to study just one of these open reading frames. I would recommend allowing one laboratory per open reading frame in the initial stages. A laboratory wishing to sign up would generate a short document highlighting why its expertise might be suitable for a particular protein. A one-page proposal should suffice, with no experimental plan demanded. At this point, a small panel could choose among competing efforts and the laboratory chosen would be given a small grant and up to six months to carry out its analysis. If it was successful in delineating the function of their target protein, a paper would be written and submitted for peer review. If the paper was accepted for publication, then an additional sum would be allocated as a supplement to the laboratory's existing grant. If, after six months, a laboratory had not managed to delineate the function, it would submit a short report describing the approaches that have been tried, with the results of its analyses. This would be posted on the public Web site and that target would then become open for analysis by other laboratories, under the same conditions as before. While the initial list of target genes should probably be based on a well-studied and experimentally tractable organism such as Escherichia coli , I would not demand that the biochemical experiments be done on the E. coli gene. Any of the orthologs would do, so long as the similarity was sufficiently strong to give high expectations that function would be conserved. In fact, for a laboratory that happened to be already working on one of the homologs, this program might provide an added bonus and greatly speed its work. I would also encourage both biochemical and genetic approaches, since one can never be certain when one method might be better than another. The list would, of course, also include conserved genes not found in E. coli , but commonly distributed in other genomes. In particular, I would make a pitch for including all genes in Mycoplasma genitalium , which, as the free-living organism with the fewest genes, might be the most suitable as a model system for in-depth understanding of its biology. The Importance of Community This proposal for experimental attack on hypothetical genes is really a very traditional approach that becomes large-scale simply because of the parallel nature of the implementation. It resembles the successful approach used by the Europeans to achieve the complete sequence of the Saccharomyces cerevisiae genome (Goffeau et al. 1996). The results would significantly increase our functional knowledge of the genes within the microbial genomes thus far sequenced. Such annotation would be immediately applicable across orthologs and could dramatically improve the value of the sequenced genomes. This, in turn, would facilitate our ability to annotate new genomes as they appear. The proposal also reinforces the notion that the overwhelming value of bioinformatics is to generate hypotheses that can be tested experimentally. By enabling the community to join in this effort, we would also demonstrate that science really is the collaborative enterprise that requires all of our contributions, not just a select few. Finally, if this initiative succeeds, it would serve as a suitable model from which to begin the more daunting task of trying to annotate the functions of the complex eukaryotic genomes, such as the human genome. The AIDS crisis has brought to public notice what has always been generally truethat the existing business model for drug development leads to high prices and unequal access. There is now widespread dissatisfaction with drug prices in both the developed (Families USA 2003) and developing world (Correa 2000). Governments and health insurers are finding ways to deny access to the newest and priciest products. In the United States and other countries without a universal public health system, the uninsured simply cannot afford the newest medicines. In developing countries, life-saving medicines are priced beyond the reach of most people, a morally offensive outcome (TrueVisionTV 2003). Huge publicity surrounds negotiated price reductions for specific drugs in specific developing countries, yet the effect on the overall access problem is tiny. Today's high drug prices are a direct consequence of a business model that uses a single payment to cover both the cost of manufacture of a drug and the cost of the research and development (R&D) carried out by manufacturers to discover it. A 20-year patent-based marketing monopoly is then granted to the drug's developers to prevent their prices being undercut by generic copies produced by manufacturers who do not have R&D costs to recover. Preventing such free riding on R&D has become a global trade issue at the World Trade Organisation (WTO) (Drahos and Braithwaite 2002). The implementation of the TRIPS (Trade-Related Aspects of Intellectual Property Rights) agreement and a growing number of regional and bilateral agreements on intellectual property require most countries to implement tough patent systems that discourage or eliminate competition from manufacturers of generic medicines (Box 1). Unfortunately, monopoly-based business models have unpleasant side effects. Since the primary responsibility of any company is to maximise return on investment, it is unsurprising that there is pressure on pharmaceutical companies to set drug prices to whatever level gives the highest return, excluding those individuals who cannot afford to pay, rather than maximising the number of patients treated. There is also pressure to misuse the power given by patents, using them as anticompetitive weapons to block innovation and extend marketing monopolies. And there are growing fears that the huge growth in the use of patents is in itself starting to inhibit research (CIPR 2002; Anonymous 2003; Royal Society 2003). Something that is less well recognised is that this system is an enormously inefficient way of purchasing R&D. There is a considerable lack of transparency in pharmaceutical R&D investment, but the available data indicate that only about 10% of drug sales go towards R&D on new products. Only about one-quarter of new drug approvals are rated by the United States Food and Drug Administration (FDA) to have therapeutic benefit over existing treatments (NIHCM 2002; see Figure 1). Measured by investment, only about one-fifth of the 10% is invested in innovative products (Love 2003a). There is also very little research for diseases that primarily afflict the poor (Trouiller et al. 2001; WHO 2003). Propping up the present structure for financing R&D (Figure 2A) is the widely held belief that the private sector plays a key role in the development of new medicines and that it is necessary to grant patents to incentivise private-sector financing. If this were true, it would make sense to tolerate all sorts of bad outcomes, because the fruits of R&D eventually benefit everyone. But granting a 20-year marketing monopoly on a patented invention is only one way to finance R&D, and the shortcomings of the present system are increasingly hard to ignore. Suggestions for alternatives are beginning to come from many quarters (Baker and Chatani 2002; CGSD 2003; Hubbard and Love 2003; Weisbrod 2003). In this essay, we present practical proposals to modify trade rules based solely on intellectual property so that alternative policy instruments can be used to encourage innovation. A New Trade Framework Analysis of worldwide drug expenditure shows that spending varies, but is close to 1% of the gross domestic product (GDP) in most developed and developing countries (Love 2003b). Assuming that about a tenth of the revenue from the sale of drugs is ploughed back into R&D on new products, that means that countries already indirectly contribute about 0.1% GDP to support this. This contribution is enforced by trade agreements, which require the granting of patents to prevent free riding via the purchase of generic drugs (see Box 1). Suppose the World Health Organisation (WHO) developed an R&D contribution norm based upon this or a more appropriate figure and that there was international agreement that countries evaluated as meeting this norm would no longer be regarded as free riding. Trade rules could then be modified to allow countries to meet this norm by any means , not just by the implementation of strict TRIPS intellectual property rules, as at present. Countries that met the norm would then be free to decide whether they wanted to follow a strictly patent-based system as at present, with high drug prices for 20 years, or experiment with new models based on the creation of separate competitive markets for sales and R&D (Figure 2B). Countries adopting the latter system would remove patents on final drug compounds, placing them in the public domain. This would allow them to become a freely traded commodity, creating a competitive manufacture and sales market with low generic prices. At the same time, in order to meet the required R&D contribution norm, they would have to create an efficient R&D virtual market alongside. However, the costs of this would be more than offset by the reduction in drugs prices, making substantial savings for that country overall. Business Models for an Effective Virtual R&D Market The existing system (Figure 2A), despite its failings, does lead to the development of new drugs. The challenge in creating a virtual R&D market is to find viable business models for successful drug development in the absence of marketing monopoly incentives. One obvious approach is direct funding of drug development. For example, the National Institutes of Health (NIH), the national agency in the United States, already spends $27 billion per year on research, a substantial amount of which is directed towards drug development, including clinical trials. The NIH already has a track record in developing important drugs for severe illnesses, such as cancer or AIDS, showing that this is a viable model. It is also widely recognised that much of the research carried out across the world by similar agencies underpins the existing commercial research that leads to new drugs. Governments could expand direct funding for drug development, either through the existing structures in academia or through funding R&D arms of existing companies to carry out specific drug R&D. Such directed drug development funding could be similar to existing nonprofit development projects, such as those currently resourced to address treatments for neglected diseases like malaria and tuberculosis (TB). Examples of such projects are the Medicines for Malaria Venture (www.mmv.org), the Global Alliance for TB Drug Development (www.tballiance.org), the International AIDS Vaccine Initiative (www.iavi.org), the Drugs for Neglected Diseases Initiative (Butler 2003b) (www.dndi.org), and the Institute for One World Health (www.oneworldhealth.org). Many are doubtful that increased direct funding would generate sufficient incentives or be managed efficiently enough. An alternative market-based approach is one in which R&D organisations compete for rewards for specific R&D output, referred to by economists as a prize model (Wright 1983; Kremer 1998; Shavell and van Ypersele 2001). In a simple formulation, governments would place large sums into a fund that would be allocated every year to firms that bring new products to market. This could work with or without patents. If products were protected by patents or other intellectual property claims, the government could grant compulsory licenses (a procedure allowed by trade agreements to override monopoly rights on a patent, in return for compensation to rights owners; see Box 1) and permit rapid introduction of generic competition. The reward system could be a lump-sum payment, eliminating any incentive to continue to market the product, or a long-term payout structure, which would depend upon evidence of both usage and efficacy. Prize systems could be designed to be fairly similar to the current system, with big payoffs for successful entrepreneurs, but even with this approach, there would be huge opportunities to improve welfare. The reward system could be more rational than the existing system, allocating greater rewards for innovative products and less for me too products that do not work better than existing products. Premiums could be given for therapies that address treatment gaps or for inventions that pave the way to new classes of drugs. Organisations competing for prizes might be expected to behave secretly to ensure that they are the ones to obtain credit for the fruits of their work. However, progress in research is also driven by free exchange of information. It may be possible to design models that both reward R&D outputs and at the same time encourage complete and continuous openness with intermediate research outputs. There are now a number of examples of open collaborative public goods models (Cukier 2003), such as those used for the Human Genome Project. The proponents of such models point to the success of GNU/Linux in the software field as evidence that major projects can be undertaken with radically different business models. One of the benefits of complete openness is that it allows independent and open evaluation of R&D outputs, which helps in the allocation of credit whether in the form or prizes or new research grants. The open-access publishing movement (Brown et al. 2003) has the potential to help in this process by allowing independent analysis of published science, which will help research funding agencies measure research outputs. Competitive Intermediators An R&D contribution norm, established by treaty, would ensure that the amount of money being spent on R&D is maintained. However, new mechanisms would be needed to collect the money to finance the R&D, as it would no longer come via drug sales. This could be via general taxation, although in countries with a private health insurance system this may be anathema. Many will also worry that a centralised national drug development agency taking decisions on R&D priorities and allocation of funds (via prizes or grants as discussed above) could easily become bureaucratic and inefficient. As a possible alternative, we propose a competitive financing scheme that would work through R&D investment intermediators. These R&D funds would be licensed and regulated (like pension funds). Their role would be to manage R&D assets on behalf of consumers. Individuals (or employers) would be required to make minimum contributions into R&D funds, much as there are mandatory contributions to social security or health insurance or to pension funds. Government would set the required contribution, but the individual (or employer) would be free to choose the particular intermediator that received their contributions. Intermediators would compete to attract funds to invest in R&D on the basis of their prowess for drug development and upon their priorities. Different business models for financing R&D could be tested in such a market, with intermediators experimenting with prize systems, direct investments in profit or nonprofit entities, open collaborative public good models, or other approaches. A Change for the Common Good We believe the economics of a change in the paradigm for funding R&D are highly favourable. Taken together, the two core steps of changing the trade framework and moving away from marketing monopolies can change the world in a positive way. We can raise global R&D levels as a matter of policy and ensure that resources flow into the areas of the greatest need, and we can do so knowing that the poor and the rich will have access to new inventions at marginal cost. Policy-makers will be weaned from their current unhealthy addiction to ever-higher levels of intellectual property rights as the only instrument to raise R&D levels, a path that has increasingly reached diminishing returns or become counterproductive. With new instruments to address the overall levels of R&D investment, policy-makers can more constructively address the well-known inefficiencies in the patent system without the fear that global R&D levels will suffer and explore alternative models (Butler 2003a). At the same time, the system of prescribing medicines will be transformed by a substantial reduction in the distorting influences of the current multibillion-dollar industry of marketing medicines to doctors and (increasingly) directly to the public. Similarly, without marketing monopolies to protect, there will be far less spent to influence the governments that set the rules that regulate such monopolies. If implemented worldwide, one of our most vexing ethical dilemmas can be resolved in a manner that actually promotes the Doha Declaration on TRIPS and Public Health mandate to encourage access to medicine for all. In the wake of declarations supporting open access to research literature from international bodies including the Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development (OECD) and the United Nations' World Summit on the Information Society (WSIS), advocates and critics of the movement appear to have agreed that the issue warrants a robust, ongoing dialoguea development undoubtedly in the interest of the scientific community, regardless of its ultimate outcome. To the extent that listserv messages, editorials, and conference presentations are representative of more widespread reactions to the debate, there appear to be a number of common misconceptions about what open access is and what problems it can or cannot solve. Over the next few months in PLoS Biology , we plan to explore the more pervasive of these misunderstandings, in an effort to expose the real challenges that need to be overcome and to identify some possible solutions. Here we address the first of thesethe perception that the publication-charge model puts an unfair burden on authors. Subsequently, we will address concerns about the long-term economic viability of the open-access model, the integrity and quality of work published in open-access journals, and the effect that open access will have on scholarly societies. Publication ChargesNothing New By charging authors a fee to have their work published in lieu of charging readers to access articles, open-access publishers such as the Public Library of Science (PLoS) and BioMed Central (BMC) have transformed the traditional publishing system. This reliance on a seemingly untested revenue stream has generated skepticism that authors will be both willing and able to pay publication charges. Publication fees are not a phenomenon born of the open-access movement. Many authors regularly pay several thousands of dollars in page charges, color charges, correction costs, reprint costs, and other fees to their publisher, even when such costs are entirely voluntary. In the EMBO Journal , for example, authors are allowed six pages of text free, but are then charged $200 per page beyond that. A review of recent issues shows that almost all authors exceed six pages, voluntarily paying on average over $800 to publish their articles. Furthermore, in addition to paying other publication charges, authors may be willing to pay extra for their articles to be made open access, as several publishers have recently recognized. A recent survey of authors in the Proceedings of National Academy of Science ( PNAS ) found that although PNAS already makes its content freely available after six months, nearly 50% of PNAS authors expressed a willingness to pay an open-access surcharge of $500 or more to make their papers available for free online immediately upon publicationthis above and beyond the $1,700 in page charges that the average PNAS author already pays (Cozzarelli et al. 2004). Although we recognize that authors who submit to PLoS Biology may well be a self-selected group of enthusiastic open-access supporters, we have found that nearly 90% of those who submit manuscripts do not request a fee waiver, and the few who do still offer to pay some portion of the fee. The concern about authors' ability to pay publication charges will become less pressing as governments, funding organizations, and institutions increasingly support open-access publication on their researchers' behalf. More funding agencies are joining the Howard Hughes Medical Institute, the Wellcome Trust, and others who have already designated funds for open-access publication. (For more information about these funders' announcements and other international policy statements relevant to open access, see http://www.plos.org/openaccess.) Universities, too, are supporting open access directly by setting aside funds for open-access publication through institutional memberships with BMC and PLoS or through discretionary funds that faculty can tap into to pay publication charges. Such approaches reduce authors' reliance on individual grants to support charges directly and ensure equal access to publishing options that require such payments. The Disenfranchised Even with the steady increase in sources to pay publication fees, detractors claim that open-access publishing may lead to a situation in which some authors are simply unable to publish their work due to lack of funds. The response to this concern is that the ability of authors to pay publication charges must never be a consideration in the decision to publish their papers. To ensure that this happens, PLoS has a firewall in place such that neither the editors nor the reviewers know which authors have indicated whether or not they can pay. Because all work judged worthy of publication by peer review should be published, any open-access business model should be designed to account for fee waivers, just as publishers have always absorbed some authors' inability to pay page and color charges. PLoS grants full or partial publication-charge waivers to any author who requests them, no questions asked. In part, the savings to institutions, hospitals, nongovernmental organizations, and universities provided by open-access publications could help to establish funds for researchers who are less well supported. In the developing world, as free online access to scientific literature is increasingly seen as a political imperative, organizations such as the World Health Organization, the Oxford-based International Network for the Availability of Scientific Publications, and Brazil's SciELO are likely to become more willing to pay open-access publication charges for authors who cannot afford them. The Open Society Institute (OSI) already pays such costs for universities and other organizations in a number of countries in which the foundation is active by way of a PLoS Institutional Membership that grants waived publication charges to authors while providing compensatory revenue for PLoS. Perhaps the real misconception about the unfair burden that open access places on authors resides in the terminologythe term author charge is itself misleading. Publication fees are not borne purely by authors, but are shared by the many organizations whose missions depend on the broadest possible dissemination and communication of scientific discoveries. Some of those may provide funding for open-access publication as intermediaries between authors and journals, as OSI does. Othersincluding many government-financed funding agenciesdo so directly through their research grants to scientists. In both cases, funding open access is an effective way to fulfill mandates for public access to and accountability over scientific research and to ensure that all worthy research is published. Although the word revolution should not be used lightly in science, there is no other way to describe the recent explosion in our awareness and understanding of RNA-mediated gene silencing pathways. The central player in RNA-mediated gene silencing is a double-stranded RNA (dsRNA) that is chopped into tiny RNAs by the enzyme Dicer. The tiny RNAs associate with various silencing effector complexes and attach to homologous target sequences (RNA or DNA) by basepairing. Depending on the protein composition of the effector complex and the nature of the target sequence, the outcome can be either mRNA degradation, translational repression, or genome modification, all of which silence gene expression (Figure 1). Present in plants, animals, and many fungi, RNA-mediated gene silencing pathways have essential roles in development, chromosome structure, and virus resistance. Although the mechanistic details are still under investigation, RNA-mediated silencing has already provided a powerful tool for studying gene function and spawned a fledgling industry that aims to develop novel RNA-based therapeutics to treat human diseases (Robinson 2004). Many biologists first learned of RNA-mediated gene silencing in 1998 following the discovery, in the nematode worm Caenorhabditis elegans (Fire et al. 1998), of a process called RNA interference (RNAi), in which dsRNA triggers sequence-specific mRNA degradation. The roots of RNA-mediated silencing, however, can be traced back 15 years, when a handful of botanical labs stumbled across strange cases of gene silencing in transgenic plants. To highlight the many seminal contributions of plant scientists to the field, we offer here a personal perspective on the origins and history of RNA-mediated gene silencing in plants. Early Silencing Phenomena Starting in the late 1980s, biologists working with transgenic plants found themselves confronted with a bewildering array of unanticipated gene silencing phenomena (Martienssen and Richards 1995). Most intriguing were cases in which silencing seemed to be triggered by DNA or RNA sequence interactions, which could occur between two separate transgenes that shared sequence homology or between a transgene and homologous plant gene. Several early examples supplied the prototypes for two types of RNA-mediated gene silencing that are recognized today. In one type, silencing results from a block in mRNA synthesis (transcriptional gene silencing [TGS]); in the second type, silencing results from mRNA degradation (posttranscriptional gene silencing [PTGS]) (Figure 1). TGS was revealed when two different transgene complexes were introduced in sequential steps into the tobacco genome. Each complex encoded different proteins, but contained identical gene regulatory regions (promoters). Unexpectedly, the first transgene complex, which was stably active on its own, often became silenced in the presence of the second (Figure 2). The promoters of the silenced transgenes acquired DNA methylation, a genome modification frequently associated with silencing. Silencing and methylation were reversed when the transgene complexes segregated from each other in progeny, suggesting that interactions between the common promoter regions triggered silencing and methylation (Matzke et al. 1989; Park et al. 1996). PTGS was discovered in two ways. One involved experiments to evaluate antisense suppression, a promising approach at the time for selectively silencing plant gene expression. In theory, antisense RNA encoded by a transgene should basepair to the complementary mRNA of a plant gene, preventing its translation into protein. Although the control sense transgene RNAs are unable to basepair to mRNA and hence should not induce silencing, they often inexplicably did (Smith et al. 1990). In another type of experiment, efforts to enhance floral coloration in petunia by overexpressing a transgene encoding a protein involved in pigment synthesis led paradoxically to partial or complete loss of color (Figure 2). This resulted from coordinate silencing (cosuppression) of both the transgene and the homologous plant gene (Napoli et al. 1990; Van der Krol et al. 1990), later shown to occur at the posttranscriptional level (De Carvalho et al. 1992; Van Blokland et al. 1994) A related phenomenon, called quelling, was observed in the filamentous fungus Neurospora crassa (Romano and Macino 1992). Similarly to TGS, PTGS was often associated with DNA methylation of transgene sequences (Ingelbrecht et al. 1994). Two influential papers appeared in the early 1990s. One reported the discovery of RNA-directed DNA methylation in transgenic tobacco plants (Wassenegger et al. 1994). This was the earliest demonstration of RNA-induced modification of DNA, a process that we return to below. A second study showed that plant RNA viruses could be both initiators and targets of PTGS. Plants expressing a transgene encoding a truncated viral coat protein became resistant to the corresponding virus, a state achieved by mutual degradation of viral RNA and transgene mRNA (Lindbo et al. 1993). In addition to forging a link between RNA virus resistance and PTGS, this study included a remarkably prescient model for PTGS that featured an RNA-dependent RNA polymerase (RDR), small RNAs, and dsRNA, all of which were later found to be important for the RNAi. PTGS was subsequently shown in 1997 to protect plants naturally from virus infection (Covey et al. 1997; Ratcliff et al. 1997). Transgene PTGS thus tapped into a preexisting natural mechanism for combating viruses. To recap: by 1998the year in which RNAi was reportedplant scientists had documented sequence-specific RNA degradation (PTGS), sequence-specific DNA methylation that triggered TGS, and RNA-directed DNA methylation. They had also proposed models for PTGS involving dsRNA (Lindbo et al. 1993; Metzlaff et al. 1997), small RNAs, and RDR (Lindbo et al. 1993). RNAi RNAi was discovered in experiments designed to compare the silencing activity of single-stranded RNAs (ssRNAs) (antisense or sense) with their dsRNA hybrid. While only marginal silencing of a target gene was achieved after injecting worms with the individual strands, injection of a senseantisense mixture resulted in potent and specific silencing (Fire et al. 1998). This unequivocally fingered dsRNA as the trigger of silencing. Shortly thereafter, dsRNA was shown to provoke gene silencing in other organisms, including plants (Waterhouse et al. 1998). Indeed, the relatedness of RNAi, PTGS, and quelling was confirmed when genetic analyses in worms, plants, and Neurospora identified common components in the respective silencing pathways (Denli and Hannon 2003). This included the aforementioned RDR, which can synthesize dsRNA from ssRNA templates (see Figure 1). PTGS is now accepted as the plant equivalent of RNAi. The discovery of RNAi established a requirement for dsRNA in silencing, but details of the mechanism remained unclear. In 1999, plant scientists studying PTGS provided a crucial clue when they detected small (approximately 25 nucleotide-long) RNAs corresponding to silenced target genes in transgenic plants (Hamilton and Baulcombe 1999). They proposed that the small RNAs provided the all-important specificity determinant for silencing. Consistent with this, a rapid succession of studies in Drosophila systems demonstrated that 2123 nucleotide short interfering'RNAs (siRNAs), derived from cutting longer dsRNA, can guide mRNA cleavage (Zamore et al. 2000; Elbashir et al. 2001); identified RISC (RNA-induced silencing complex), a nuclease that associates with small RNAs and executes target mRNA cleavage (Hammond et al. 2000); and identified Dicer, the enzyme that chops dsRNA into short RNAs (Bernstein et al. 2001) (see Figure 1). RNAi/PTGS was detected originally in experiments involving transgenes, injected RNAs, or viruses. Did the RNAi machinery also generate small RNAs for host gene regulation? Strikingly, the newly discovered siRNAs were the same size as several small temporal RNAs, first identified in 1993 as important regulators of developmental timing in worms (Lee et al. 1993; Reinhart et al. 2000). Everything came together in 2001 when heroic cloning efforts unearthed dozens of natural small RNAs 2125 nucleotides in length, first from worms and flies and later from plants and mammals (Lai 2003; Bartel 2004). Similar to siRNAs, the natural small RNAs, dubbed microRNAs (miRNAs), arise from Dicer processing of dsRNA precursors and are incorporated into RISC (Denli and Hannon 2003). In many cases, miRNAs effect silencing by basepairing to the 3 ends of target mRNAs and repressing translation (see Figure 1). miRNAs are now recognized as key regulators of plant and animal development. Identifying their target genes and full range of action are areas of intense research (Lai 2003; Bartel 2004). Up until 2002, RNAi/PTGS and miRNAs were the most avidly studied aspects of RNA-mediated gene silencing. The next major advance, however, abruptly turned attention back to RNA-guided modifications of the genome. By 2001, plant scientists working on RNA-directed DNA methylation and TGS had demonstrated a requirement for dsRNAs that are processed to short RNAs, reinforcing a mechanistic link to PTGS (Mette et al. 2000; Sijen et al. 2001). This established the principle of RNA-guided genome modifications, but the generality of this process was uncertain because not all organisms methylate their DNA. Widespread acceptance came with the discovery in 2002 of RNAimediated heterchromatin assembly in fission yeast (Hall et al. 2002; Volpe et al. 2002). This silencing pathway uses short RNAs produced by Dicer and other RNAi components to direct methylation of DNA-associated proteins (histones), thus generating condensed, transcriptionally silent chromosome regions (heterochromatin) (see Figure 1). Targets of this pathway include centromeres, which are essential for normal chromosome segregation. The RNAi-dependent heterochromatin pathway has been found in plants (Zilberman et al. 2003) and Drosophila (Pal-Bhadra et al. 2004) and likely represents a general means for creating condensed, silent chromosome domains. More Lessons from Plants Plant scientists can chalk up other firsts in RNA-mediated gene silencing. Systemic silencing, in which a silencing signal (short RNA or dsRNA) moves from cell to cell and through the vascular system to induce silencing at distant sites, was initially detected in plants in 1997 (Palauqui et al. 1997; Voinnet and Baulcombe 1997) and later in worms (Fire et al. 1998), although not yet in Drosophila or mammals. Viral proteins that suppress silencing by disarming the PTGS-based antiviral defense mechanism were discovered by plant virologists in 1998 (Anandalakshmi et al. 1998; Bclin et al. 1998; Brigneti et al. 1998; Kasschau and Carrington 1998). One of these, the p19 protein of tombusviruses, acts as a size-selective caliper to sequester short RNAs from the silencing machinery (Vargason et al. 2003). A recent study suggests that animal viruses encode suppressors of RNA-mediated silencing (Li et al. 2004). Although RNA-mediated gene silencing pathways are evolutionarily conserved, there are various elaborations in different organisms. For example, the plant Arabidopsis has four Dicer-like (DCL) proteins, in contrast to mammals and worms, whose genomes encode only one Dicer protein (Schauer et al. 2002). The RDR family has also expanded in Arabidopsis to include at least three active members. An important goal has been to determine the functions of individual family members. Previous studies in Arabidopsis have shown that DCL1 is needed for processing miRNA precursors important for plant development (Park et al. 2002; Reinhart et al. 2002), but not for siRNAs active in RNAi (Finnegan et al. 2003). The paper by Xie et al. (2004) in this issue of PLoS Biology delineates distinct functions for DCL2, DCL3, and RDR2. Nuclear-localized DCL3 acts with RDR2 to generate short RNAs that elicit DNA and histone modifications; DCL2 produces short RNAs active in antiviral defense in the cytoplasm of cells. This study illustrates nicely how RNA silencing components have diversified in plants to carry out specialized functions. By identifying small RNAs as agents of gene silencing that act at multiple levels throughout the cell, molecular biologists have created a new paradigm for eukaryotic gene regulation. Plant scientists have figured prominently in RNA-mediated silencing research. Instrumental to their success was the early ability to produce large numbers of transgenic plants, which displayed a rich variety of gene silencing phenomena that were amenable to analysis. The agricultural biotechnology industry provided incentives to find ways to stabilize transgene expression and use transgenic approaches to modulate plant gene expression and to genetically engineer virus resistance. As exemplified by the petunia cosuppression experiments, nonessential plant pigments provide conspicuous visual markers that vividly reveal gene silencing. The history of gene silencing research shows once again that plants offer outstanding experimental systems for elucidating general biological principles. This is the second in a series of three editorials that aim to address recurring concerns about the benefits and risks associated with open-access publishing in medicine and the biological sciences. Scientific societies serve their members, their broader scholarly communities, and the different components of their missions in many important ways. Making peer-reviewed literature immediately accessible, searchable, and reusable to anyone in the world with an Internet connection is a uniquely direct means of achieving a number of goals that are common to most scholarly associations and of advancing the diverse interests of their constituencies. Setting aside for the moment the question of how feasible it is for societies to alter their journals' access policies, there is by now a broad consensus that widespread open access to scientific publications is good for scientists and good for science. Society members want to maximize the impact of their workand articles that are freely available online are cited more frequently than those that are not (Lawrence 2001). Most societies are committed to catalyzing innovations within and across scientific disciplinesand open-access archives of full-text literature provide a valuable tool for sharing information globally in order to accelerate the rate of scientific progress. Many societies articulate in their mission statements the goal of communicating the benefits of their members' discoveries with the publicand open-access publishing is a direct means to accomplish this goal. In addition to an interest in exploring new ways to serve their members and their missions, societies have another compelling reason to investigate open access for their journals: the rapidly changing landscape of scholarly publishing. From 1990 to 2000, the average price of an academic journal subscription increased 10% per year (Create Change 2000). While society-run and nonprofit journals may not be the major contributors to those spiraling costs, societies that rely on revenues from subscriptions and site licenses may bear a disproportionate share of the negative consequences of skyrocketing serials prices. As libraries are forced for a variety of reasons (including decreased budgets and the increasing prevalence of big deals and journal bundling) to eliminate subscriptions, society journals may be among the hardest hit. Journals that appeal to a relatively specialized readership and those that are not part of larger publishing groups are particularly vulnerable to the contraction of serials collections that has already begun and will likely accelerate (Create Change 2000). A Society Is More Than a Journal The confluence of forces in favor of open access says nothing about its fiscal implications for scientific societies. As any systemic change in research or publishing would, the movement toward open access has generated concern about its ramifications for the scholarly associations that often serve as the backbones of scientific communities. However, the strength of those societies and their essential role in the communities they serve are precisely what should allay fears about the revenue-eroding effect that some argue would plague societies if they converted their traditional subscription-based journals to open access. Scientific societies perform an array of tremendously valuable functions for their constituents and disciplines. Researchers, educators, and others join societies for the many benefits of membership beyond simply discounted or free subscriptions to journals, so the concern that open-access publications would be the death knell of voluntary academic associations is misguided. As Elizabeth Marincola, executive director of the American Society for Cell Biology, recently noted, her society offers a diverse range of products so that if publications were at risk financially, we wouldn't lose our membership base because there are lots of other reasons why people are members (Anonymous 2003). While open-access publication can, in fact, be paid for in a number of different ways, there is no question that a transition toward the elimination of online access barriers requires most societies to restructure the business models for their journals. If journal subscriptions generate surplus revenue that supports other society activities, then the business model of the society as a whole may need to be examined. This is not to say that open-access journals cannot generate a surplus or profitsimply that they do not do so by restricting access to their primary research content. Testing the Open-Access Waters There are a number of societies that have already begun to take transitional steps to wean themselves from subscription revenues. One of the earliest societies to commit to open-access publication, the American Society for Clinical Investigation (ASCI) has since 1996 provided the Journal of Clinical Investigation (JCI) freely online and recently reaffirmed its commitment to open access: The financing having been resolved, through author charges and other means, John Hawley, the executive director of the ASCI writes, the JCI hopefully can bring the greatest benefit to its authors and readers, regardless of who they might be. It is in this spirit that the JCI has always been free online, and will remain so (Hawley 2003). In order to experiment cautiously with new access policies, several societies have implemented hybrid models of access-restriction for their publications. The American Physiological Society, for example, offers authors in Physiological Genomics the option to pay a surcharge for their articles to be made freely available online immediately upon publication. A recent survey by the Joint Information Systems Committee (JISC) in the United Kingdom suggests that many authors would use such an option if it were more widely available: 48% of authors who had never published in an open-access journal and 60% of authors who had done so indicated that they would be willing to pay a publisher of a journal sold according to the traditional subscription model an additional fee for them to make [the author's] particular paper open access (JISC 2004). JISC is also directly encouraging society and nonprofit publishers to implement hybrid models and other open-access experiments and to launch new open-access journals by providing grants to offset the publication charges for authors during this transitional phase. In the long run, of course, open access will prove sustainable when more funders of research, in addition to interested third parties, designate funds specifically for the costs of publishing articles to be made freely available, searchable, and reusable online. Starting the Dialogue Reaching a steady-state system of open-access publishing by scientific societies will require three critical components: recognition that open access serves societies' members and missions; diversified revenue streams not solely dependent on subscription or site-license fees; and society publishers' making use of recent innovations in journal production and dissemination, which can dramatically reduce the costs of publishing. It is, after all, the increased efficiencies born of new technologiesfrom the Internet itself to electronic journal management systemsthat have made the idea of open access possible. And while proponents of open access are confident that publication charges of around $1,500 per article will be sufficient to cover the costs of publishing an efficiently operated society journal, there is no question that many existing journals may need to update their infrastructure in order to make open access financially viable (PLoS 2004). There is also no question that many societies do not, at present, have a wealth of revenue streams beyond the proceeds from their journals, which they often use to fund valuable activities from education initiatives to annual meetings. As open-access journals become more established, however, and as the benefits of open access to scientific and medical literature become more apparent to society members, the demand for the broadest possible dissemination of research is only likely to grow. Those societies that embrace the developments taking place in scholarly publishing may well see their membership and publications thrive more than societies that cling to the potentially unstable status quo. In any case, a constructive discussion about the pitfalls to be avoided and the benefits to be gained through a transition to open-access publishing would be a worthy first step for any scientific society to takeand PLoS welcomes the questions, comments, and feedback of those who are intrigued by the potential that open access affords and want to learn more. A ban in the 1866s by the French Academy of Sciences on publications about the origin of human language must have been one of the strangest bans in the history of sciences. Yet it was highly effective. After the ban, scientists and interested laymen had to wait for more than a century to hold a textbook on language evolution in their hands. Language Evolution, a compilation of essays by a diverse group of respected researchers, is amongst the first books that try to tackle what is arguably one of the hardest scientific problems. The editors set themselves the ambitious target of creating an up-to-date book about this emerging field, and they have to be congratulated for their efforts. Linguists, cognitive scientists, behavioural ecologists, and theoretical biologists all offer their view on the origin of human language and, refreshingly, do not shy from pointing out the real or assumed weaknesses of the other approaches. One of the main themes of the book is the evolutionary approach and the importance of biological structures and properties that were co-opted in the development of language (pre-adaptations). In one essay, Michael Studdert-Kenedy and Louis Goldstein propose that speech, as a motor function, draws on phylogenetically ancient mammalian oral capacities for sucking, licking, swallowing, and chewing. Thus, our hominid ancestors adopted an apparatus already divided neuroanatomically into discrete components. Complementing this evidence, Marc Hauser and Tecumseh Fitch compare human speech production and perception with that of nonhuman species. They conclude that many traits that were formerly thought to have evolved specifically for speech (such as having a descended larynx or categorical perception) are also present in other species. But perhaps the most interesting idea about pre-adaptation comes from the work of neuroscientist Michael Arbib on mirror neurons in monkeys. These neurons are a subset of the grasp-related premotor neurons that discharge not only, as other premotor neurons do, when the monkey executes a certain class of actions, but also when the monkey observes more or less similarly meaningful hand movements made by the experimenter (or by another monkey). The area in which these grasp-related neurons are found is analogous with the Broca's area in human brains, which is involved in assessing the syntax of words. This observation serves as the basis for the mirror-system hypothesis, which postulates that Broca's area in humans evolved from a basic mechanism not originally related to communication but rather from the mirror system for grasping in the common ancestor of monkey and human. As a result, the mirror system provides a possible neural link in the evolution of human language. There is still much debate about the selection pressures that led to the evolution of language. Observing the overabundance of potential selective scenarios for why language evolved, the linguist Derek Bickerton voices his scepticism: The fact that these and similar explanations flourish side by side tells one immediately not enough constraints are being used to limit possible explanations. One frequent source of confusion, he notes, is equating language with speech by not distinguishing between modality, lexicon, and structure. Hauser and Fitch share Bickerton's scepticism and urge scientists to rely more on the traditional comparative approach, which was always the strength of Darwinian evolutionary theory. Primatologist Robin Dunbar, who originally proposed that grooming (group bonding) could have provided the stimulus for language, dismisses two other possible scenarioshunting and tool-makingas potential ecological contexts for the evolution of human language. Gestural origins are also dismissed in his theory, because gestural languages do not seem to develop spontaneously and also require a line-of-sight contact making them useless at night. Interestingly, Steven Pinker rules out both Dunbar's theory of grooming and Geoffrey Miller's theory of sexual selection, whereas Bickerton rules out grooming, gossip, mating contract, and Machiavellian intelligence as likely contexts for the origin of human language. Also under fire in the book is the idea that the human brain is somehow equipped at birth with a universal grammar out of which all human languages later develop. Several authors try to provide alternatives to innate predispositions, such as the importance of function to categorization (Michael Tomasello) and the importance of cultural transmission to the structure of language (Simon Kirby and Morton Christiansen). Arbib explicitly questions the traditional Chomskyan theory of innate linguistic predispositions and argues that what humans have and had in the past is language readiness rather than a fixed universal grammar. Neuroscientist Terrence Deacon also puts an alternative theory forward. According to Deacon, many of the language universals reflect semiotic constraints inherent in the requirements for producing symbolic reference rather than innate predispositions. Thus, neither evolved innate predispositions nor culturally evolved and transmitted regularities can be considered as the ultimate source of language universals. He draws a parallel with mathematical operations (addition, subtraction, etc.) and with prime numbers. Symbolic reference, he argues, is constrained by the structure it refers to. The editors claim, in the light of this diversity, that this book is intended to bring together, for the first time, all the major perspectives on language evolution. We have two concerns with this aim. First, two books of the same organization and scope have been published in the past six years based on the material from language evolution conferences (Hurford et al. 1998; Knight et al. 2000). Although this first concern might be just splitting hairs, the second is more substantial: several crucial aspects of language evolution are not represented at all or are just touched superficially. One of these missing themes is the selective advantage of early language. As discussed, many of the contributors express their scepticism towards the selective scenarios found in the literatureand indeed towards such constructions in generalbut there is no review and no balanced evaluation of these selective scenarios. Since one of the key questions of language evolution is the selective advantage of early language, the lack of such a review is a major weakness. A balanced account could have been presented even if the editors and most of the contributors are frustrated by the plethora of selective scenarios. Related to the possible selective advantage of language is the issue of genetic background. Although there is mention of the so-called FOX genessome mutations of which are associated with language disordersthere is no detailed discussion of our current knowledge of genetics related to language. Another lightly treated theme is the neural basis of language and language evolution. Understandably it is one of the most difficult issues concerning human language, and no one expects the editors or any of the contributors to come up with an answer to all the questions. What is missing again is a good survey outlining the problems and the current findings of the field. The weaknesses of the book come from its structure and organization. The editors, instead of outlining a structure and asking specialists to contribute to that structure, appear to have let every contributor write freely about their current ideas and current research without regard to the bigger picture. This definitely shows the interests of the contributors and outlines the current state of the art; it leaves gaps, however, in the coverage of crucial topics related to the evolution of human language. Reinforcement, like sympatric speciation (see Box 1), has charisma. Evolutionary biologists are still deeply uncertain about how often these processes take place, and hence how important they are in explaining the biological diversity we see today. Empirical and theoretical support for both ideas has waxed and waned over recent decades. Yet both ideas have consistently garnered an unusual amount of attention. Much of the appeal of both reinforcement and sympatric speciation lies in the way they unite micro- and macroevolution. Reinforcement, a concept popularized by Dobzhansky (1937), is a process by which speciation, a macroevolutionary process, can be driven directly by natural selection, one of the primary microevolutionary forces. Sympatric speciation can make the same claim. Because of this close linkage between the concepts, the study of one can tell us a great deal about the other (see Kirkpatrick and Ravign 2002). Such studies can also reveal a lot about the general role of microevolution in species divergence. Reinforcement provides a pathway toward the completion of the speciation process. Imagine that two divergent populations (potentially even classified as separate species) come into contact after a period of allopatry (Figure 1). If the populations have been apart for a long time, evolved differences between them will cause a certain degree of incompatibility when the populations come together. Often, this incompatibility comes in the form of low hybrid fitness (postzygotic isolation) or mismatched mating characteristics (premating isolation). The degree of the development of these isolating mechanisms is roughly proportional to the genetic distance between the populations, reflecting the fact that incompatibilities accumulate over time (Coyne and Orr 1989). If the isolating mechanisms between these populations are only partially complete, extensive hybridization may occur. This can result in fusion back into a single population, or in the swamping of one population's gene pool by the genes of the other (extinction). But there is another possibility, one that can cause the speciation between the two populations to proceed. Remember that if the populations have been separated for long enough, it is likely that hybrids between them will have relatively low fitness. Individuals who mate with members of the opposing population will therefore produce offspring of poor quality, and hence have lower fitness than individuals that mate within their own population. This favors the evolution (or further divergence) of characteristics that cause mating within, rather than between, populations (Figure 1C). Speciation between the populations is driven further towards completion through this increase in premating isolation. This process, the evolution of premating isolation after secondary contact due to selection against hybrids, is reinforcement sensu Dobzhansky (1937). Recent authors have broadened the definition of reinforcement to include as a driving force any form of selection against mating between populations (e.g., Servedio and Noor 2003). This could include, for example, lower fertility, or higher mortality of females that mate with members of other populations. In all definitions, however, the microevolutionary process of selection is essential for reinforcement. In fact, in reinforcement, speciation itself can be thought of as an adaptive response to selection. It is little wonder that this causal linking of micro- and macroevolution has appeal for many evolutionary biologists. Reinforcement in the 21st Century Despite the substantial progress in our understanding of reinforcement that has been achieved over the last few decades, many questions remain about the process. These questions lend themselves to exploration by a broad variety of disciplines (evolution, ecology, behavior, phylogenetics, phylogeography, genetics), approaches (experimental, observational, comparative, theoretical) and taxonomic systems. Doubtless, the most important unanswered question about reinforcement is how often it occurs. It is very difficult to prove that reinforcement is occurring, or has occurred, between two species. Reinforcement occasionally leaves a signature, called reproductive character displacement, in which mating characteristics have diverged between populations in areas of sympatry but not areas of allopatry (Figure 2) (the relationship between reinforcement and reproductive character displacement, and controversy over the definition of the latter, is reviewed in Howard 1993). In sympatric areas, populations are capable of producing hybrids, which drives reinforcement, while in allopatry hybrid production, and hence the selection for reinforcement, is absent. Reproductive character displacement has been found to be common, suggesting to some that reinforcement may be common as well (Howard 1993). It is universally acknowledged, however, both that reproductive character displacement can be caused by processes other than reinforcement, and that reinforcement can occur without leaving this signature (e.g., when population ranges are completely sympatric). Proving that reinforcement has occurred requires the ruling out of several alternative hypotheses, which are themselves difficult to assess (Noor 1999; Coyne and Orr 2004). Several isolated examples of reinforcement between specific pairs of species have been demonstrated, fairly conclusively, in a variety of taxa including Drosophila pseudoobscura and D. persimilis (Noor 1995), flycatchers (Stre et al. 1997), sticklebacks (e.g., Rundle and Schluter 1998), spadefoot toads (Pfennig 2003), and walking-stick insects (Nosil et al. 2003) (see also reviews of Noor 1999; Coyne and Orr 2004). These studies involve a variety of behavioral tests of mate choice, analyses of hybrid fitness and the production of hybrids in the wild, and controls for alternative explanations. While examples such as these provide essential information about reinforcement, their slow rate of compilation and biased reporting do not provide efficient ways to assess how often reinforcement occurs in general. Comparative approaches, which examine patterns across a broader taxonomic group, can also provide support for reinforcement without these detailed mechanistic analyses (review in Coyne and Orr 2004). The revival of reinforcement in the late 1980s began with one such study in the genus Drosophila (Coyne and Orr 1989). By comparing patterns across a wide number of species, such studies can give a better assessment of the potential frequency with which reinforcement occurswithout, however, providing conclusive evidence for reinforcement between specific species pairs. Another area where further research is essential is the determination of which biological factors promote reinforcement, as opposed to population fusion. Theoretical studies, using mathematical models and computer simulations, are proving useful in pinpointing the effects of many factors such as migration rates and patterns, the type of selection against interspecific mating, and the genetic basis of premating isolation (reviews in Turelli et al. 2001; Servedio and Noor 2003). Fortunately, some of the cases of reinforcement in specific species pairs are now being developed to the point where they can address similar questions (e.g., sex linkage of mating genes; Stre et al. 2003). Both theoretical studies and these well developed empirical systems are also starting to address a third important area of research: how reinforcement interacts with other forces, such as ecological selection pressures, that promote speciation (e.g., Servedio 2004; Nosil et al. 2003). These integrated studies are essential to the correct placement of reinforcement within the bigger context of speciation processes. In recent years, exciting developments have started to take place in the analysis of the genetics of reinforcement (reviewed in Servedio and Noor 2003). These developments both parallel and overlap with progress made on the genetics of speciation and species differences in general. For example, significant progress has recently been made in identifying the genetic control of hybrid incompatibilities (e.g., Presgraves et al. 2003; Barbash et al. 2003). This progress has been accompanied by a new understanding of how chromosomal rearrangements may allow these incompatibilities to be maintained despite hybridization in sympatry (Rieseberg 2001; Navarro and Barton 2003; Brown et al. 2004). Sympatric maintenance of incompatibilities, of course, has profound implications for reinforcement, which requires these incompatibilities as the force driving divergence (Noor et al. 2001). Genetic analysis is also allowing a new understanding of the mechanisms by which reinforcement might be taking place in specific cases. Work by Ortiz-Barrientos et al. (2004) in this issue of PLoS Biology illustrates the extent of the insights that can be made with this approach. Using high-resolution genetic mapping the authors have identified the locations of genes that cause increased discrimination against Drosophila persimilis males by D. pseudoobscura females, due to reinforcement in sympatry. Surprisingly, these genes map to very different areas of the chromosomes than do genes that cause a basal level of mating discrimination between the species in allopatry. Among other insights, the position of these genes suggests that the reinforced discrimination is based on odor, not on the mechanism used in allopatry, male song. This leads to the novel conclusion that reinforcement is not just increasing the strength of an already existing mechanism of species discrimination, but is occurring through the development of a new discrimination system. These kinds of developments can also motivate more realistic theoretical models of the reinforcement process. Implications and Extensions of Reinforcement What if, when our assessment of the frequency of reinforcement is improved, it turns out to have been a rare occurrence in the generation of current biological diversity? The study of reinforcement is broad and varied enough that many of our findings about the process would still have wide-reaching implications. First, recall the claim, at the start of this article, that studying reinforcement reveals much about the role of microevolution in the macroevolutionary process of speciation. Knowledge gained about this relationship is not only directly applicable to the very similar process of sympatric speciation, but can also tell us a great deal about speciation caused by ecological adaptation and sexual selection, which are critical components of reinforcement in many systems (e.g., Nosil et al. 2003; Haavie et al. 2004). Studies looking for reinforcement have also led to insights into the formation and maintenance of hybrid zones (e.g., Butlin 1998; Britch et al. 2001). Situations where reinforcement fails to occur likewise teach a lesson, elucidating possible mechanisms of extinction when secondary contact occurs between species. Second, analysis of reinforcement clarifies the interactions between levels of reproductive isolation that occur at different stages in the life cycle. Reinforcement, broadly defined, can be driven by isolation at the postzygotic level or by incompatibilities that occur between mating and zygote production (postmating-prezygotic incompatibilities; Servedio 2001). Postzygotic isolation can likewise cause divergence at the premating stage (reinforcement) or potentially at the postmating-prezygotic stage, through the evolution of conspecific sperm precedence (Marshall et al. 2002). These various stages of isolation have different degrees of importance among plants, free-spawning marine invertebrates, and other internally and externally fertilizing animals (Bernasconi et al. 2004). Analysis of these stages of isolation, their interactions, and the evolutionary pressures they are under therefore has broad implications for comparative reproductive biology across these varied groups. Finally, regardless of whether reinforcement has been a common pathway in speciation, its relevance may be increasing. Reinforcement is a possible outcome anytime species that are capable of hybridization come into contact. Human activity is increasing the incidence of secondary contact by altering habitat and introducing invasive species. This contact often results in hybridization (reviews in Rhymer and Simberloff 1996; Mooney and Cleland 2001). It is important to identify and understand the properties of species pairs that make extensive introgression, extinction, stable hybrid zones, or reinforcement likely outcomes of such contact. If reinforcement has played a small role in the generation of current diversity, it may be because secondary contact itself has historically been a rare occurrence. It is the frequency of reinforcement among incidences of secondary contact that will determine its importance in the near future. Evolutionary developmental biology is motivated by the premise that the differences we see between species are caused by changes that have occurred in the genes that regulate their developmental programs. Beginning in the 1980s, general principles began to emerge about the evolution of development in animals. The identification of the Hox genes in Drosophila melanogaster and the subsequent discovery of their conservation and similar expression in different Metazoans led to the revolutionary realization that many of the mechanisms critical to basic animal development have been conserved across more than 500 million years of evolution. Many other developmental pathways, such as those specifying the heart and the central nervous system, have since been elucidated and promptly subjected to successful comparative analysis. These celebrated discoveries illustrate ways that very different organisms are, at a fundamental level, similar to one another. But not all developmental processes are so conservative; an outstanding example is sex determination. The majority of animal species produce two sexes, and current phylogenies (e.g., [1]) suggest that sexual dimorphism was likely a feature of the last common ancestor of the coelomate bilaterians, a vast clade of animals that excludes only sponges, ctenophores, cnidarians, and acoel flatworms. However, though critical for development and reproduction, the mechanisms that specify sex determination are among the least-conserved known. Marked variation exists in both the primary sex determination signal and in the downstream genetic pathways that interpret the signal. We are thus presented with our first conundrum: sexual differentiation appears to be an ancient, and potentially homologous, feature of animal biology, yet its genetic specification suggests multiple origins. Bewildering Variety The variety of primary sex determination cues was appreciated long before the advent of molecular genetics [2]. The two broadest categories are genetic sex determination (GSD), in which the sex of offspring is set by a sex chromosome or an autosomal gene, and environmental sex determination (ESD), in which sex is determined by temperature (as with turtles), local sex ratio (as with some tropical fish), or population density (as with mermithid nematodes). Though little is known about the molecular mechanisms of ESD, within the GSD systems many different mechanisms have been uncovered. Dual sex chromosome systems, in which either the female (ZW/ZZ) or the male (XX/XY) is heterogametic, are common, as are systems set by the ratio of the number of X chromosomes to sets of autosomes (X:A). There are also systems in which heterozygosity at a single locus is required for female development (known as complementary sex determination; [3]), as well as systems involving sex determination via multiple genes with additive effects. Molecular genetic investigations of GSD in model systems such as Drosophila , Caenorhabditis , and mice have revealed a clear lack of conservation, underscoring the diversity. For example, although the primary sex determination signal in both D. melanogaster and C. elegans is the X:A ratio, the fruit fly pathway consists of a cell-autonomous cascade of regulated mRNA splicing, while that of the nematode follows a Hedgehog -like intercellular signaling pathway [4]. GSD in mammals depends (with some interesting exceptionssee [5]) upon a Y-specific dominant gene ( Sry ) encoding a transcription factor. In the face of such impressive differences, perhaps we should question our assumption of homology: could it be that sex determination in different taxa has arisen independently over and over again in evolution? Until 1998, this seemed like a good bet. The discovery of the homology of the key sex-determining genes doublesex in Drosophila and mab-3 in C. elegans provided the first evidence for a common evolutionary basis of sex determination in animals [6]. Soon, related doublesex-mab-3 (DM)-family genes with roles in male sexual development were discovered in vertebrates and even cnidarians [7,8]. Here at last was a smoking gun that could link the diverse metazoan sex determination systems (Figure 1). But as satisfying as the result was, it immediately gave birth to another mystery: if the enormous diversity of sex determination systems are all derived from a common ancestor, how could they possibly have been modified so radically? After all, sexual differentiation and reproduction are hardly unimportant developmental processes! Focusing on Close Relatives To understand how such diversity came to be, we need to look at the differences between closely related species. This approach allows the discovery and interpretation of small-scale sex determination changes before they are obscured by subsequent changes. The processes discovered in this way might then be reasonably extrapolated to explain the seemingly unrelated systems of more deeply diverged taxa. Work in dipterans [9] and nematodes [10] has revealed three evolutionary phenomena that characterize shorter-term sex determination evolution. The first of these is the often astounding rate of molecular evolution at the level of nucleotide and aminoacid sequences. Although some sex-determining genes are well conserved, many show unprecedented substitution rates [11]. An extreme example is the central integrator of the X:A ratio in Caenorhabditis , xol-1 . The xol-1 orthologues of the closely related nematodes C. elegans and C. briggsae are a mere 22% identical [12], even though genes surrounding xol-1 are much better conserved (Figure 2A). Remarkably, the 3 neighbor of xol-1 , the immunoglobulin dim-1 , is only 5 kb away and is essentially identical between species. A second phenomenon, best exemplified by dipteran insects, is the modification of genetic control pathways through the gain or loss of key pathway components (Figure 2B). In Drosophila , the first gene to respond to the X:A ratio is Sxl , whose transcription is regulated by both autosomal and X-linked factors very early in development [4,13]. When X: A = 1 (i.e., in female embryos), Sxl transcription occurs and produces Sxl protein. Later in development, transcription from a second promoter occurs in both sexes, but these transcripts cannot be productively spliced without the earlier burst of Sxl expression. As a result, only females sustain Sxl expression, and in turn only females can productively splice the mRNA of tra , its downstream target. Productive splicing of tra is required to produce the female-specific form of dsx , a founding member of the DM family mentioned above. In a series of groundbreaking papers, Saccone and colleagues investigated the pathway in the more distantly related heterogametic Mediterranean fruit fly Ceratitis capitata . The first surprise was that although a highly conserved Sxl homologue exists in Ceratitis , it does not undergo sex-specific regulation similar to that of Drosophila , which suggests that it does not play a key switch role (Saccone et al. 1998). Similar results have also been found for the housefly, Musca domestica [14], indicating that the role of Sxl in sex determination may be restricted to Drosophila and its closest relatives. In contrast, tra and dsx are key sex regulators in all dipterans examined thus far. A further surprise came when the Ceratitis tra homologue was characterized [15]. In the case of this gene, clear evidence for sex-specific regulation was found, and as with Drosophila , only females productively splice tra mRNA. However, this splicing difference can be explained nicely by a positive feedback, similar to that seen in Drosophila Sxl , in which Tra protein regulates its own splicing. In 2002, Pane et al. proposed that the dominant, male-specifying M factor on the Y chromosome inhibits this autoregulation [15]. As a result, males cannot make functional Tra protein, and the male form of Dsx is produced. These experiments show not only how a pathway can evolve, but also, importantly, how X:A and heterogametic GSD systems can be interconverted by modifying the cue that regulates a conserved molecular switch gene (the splicing of tra mRNA). A detailed scenario for how this might occur has recently been proposed [16]. Finally, recent studies of Caenorhabditis nematodes have shed light on the genetic basis of the convergent evolution of sex determination related to mating system adaptations. An important factor in this area are new phylogenies of the genus [17,18], which consistently suggest the surprising possibility that the closely related hermaphroditic species C. elegans and C. briggsae acquired self-fertilization independently, from distinct gonochoristic (male/female) ancestors (Figure 2C). Although this scenario is somewhat uncertain purely on parsimony grounds, recent work on the genetic control of the germline bisexuality that defines hermaphroditism has tipped the balance toward parallel evolution. Working with C. elegans , Clifford et al. [19] cloned fog-2 , a gene required for spermatogenesis in hermaphrodites but not in males. Upon doing so, it became clear that fog-2 is part of a large family of F-box genes and was produced by several recent rounds of gene duplication. The C. briggsae genome sequence suggested that while C. briggsae possesses a similarly large family of F-box proteins, the duplication event giving rise to fog-2 was specific to the C. elegans lineage. In this issue of PLoS Biology , Nayak et al. [20] extend this work by rigorously demonstrating that fog-2 is indeed absent in C. briggsae . The authors also identify a short, C-terminal domain that makes FOG-2 uniquely able to perform its germline sex-determining function. This domain is probably derived from a frame-shifting mutation in an ancestral gene. Working with C. briggsae , Stothard et al. [21], Haag et al. [22], and Hill et al. (unpublished data) have also found evidence of important species-specific regulation of germline sex determination. RNA interference and gene knockout approaches have shown that while C. elegans requires the male-promoting genes fem-2 and fem-3 to produce sperm in hermaphrodites, C. briggsae requires neither. Given that both genes have conserved roles in male somatic sex determination, this suggests that C. briggsae evolved hermaphroditism in a way that bypasses these genes. The long-standing mystery of sex determination and its diversity began by comparisons between distantly related species. Recent work on closer relatives has uncovered processes that through a reasonable extrapolation enable the connection of these disparate dots into a fascinating picture of developmental evolution. Though the divergence is extreme, it is likely that a better understanding of the evolution of sex determination genes and pathways holds lessons about the evolution of development in general. The next major challenge will be to integrate the comparative developmental data with the ecological and population processes that are driving the evolution of sex determination. Only then will we be able to say that the picture is complete. I didn't want to be just another MBA, says Pascal Herzer, one of the first recipients of a new graduate credential known as the professional science master's, or PSM. Not many people have the ability to understand science and business, and [the PSM] program was designed for that very purpose. PSMs are two-year American master's degrees financed in large part by the Alfred P. Sloan Foundation to cultivate science managers. Sloan's ultimate goal is to make science careers more attractive to talented young people like Herzer, a 2003 PSM graduate in Applied Biosciences from the University of Arizona, who believes his PSM makes him more marketable to science-based businesses. I am at the true junction of science and business, he says. The Missing Degree Fortunately for Herzer, the business of science is booming. Jobs for scientists and engineers grew four times faster than the United States national average since 1980, and should outpace the market until at least 2010. Surprisingly to many academics, most of these jobs are in industry. In 1999, the last year with complete data, two out of three employed science and engineering (S&E) graduates worked in industry, including the great majority of bachelor's and master's degree holders, and 40% of doctorates. In other words, industry, not academe, now drives American S&E employment, and will for the near future. Like academia, industry needs scientifically literate personnel; unlike academia, industry wants employees with business savvy as well. However, in the past, graduate students received either science or business instruction, not both. Industry simply hired regular master's-degreed people, or MBAs, or more likely PhDs, and just expected them to learn their weaknesses on the job, says Eleanor L. Babco, Executive Director of the Commission on Professionals in Science and Technology, a nonprofit corporation with funding from the Sloan Foundation to assess PSM graduates. For science-based businesses, then, the American S&E doctorateviewed by many as the worldwide gold standard for science educationis too specialized for their needs (see Box 1). But a master's degree may be just right. Bridging the Gap During the 20th century, the master's degree evolved as a professional credential in many fields, including business, education, and social work, and more recently, pharmacy, physical therapy, and accounting. In the 1990s, non-incidental master's in the sciencesin other words, intentionally terminal degrees, not consolation prizes for failing out of graduate schoolcrept into engineering and applied mathematics, too, as companies grew more reliant on computational analysis and hired accordingly. From 1981 to 2000, for example, the number of earned master's degrees in mathematics and computer science more than doubled. With hopes of spurring a significant movement, in 1997 the Sloan Foundation bet big on professional master's degrees, eventually spending $11 million on almost 100 programs across the US. Sloan Foundationbacked PSM programs now operate at 45 universities in 20 states, in such fields as microbial biotechnology and applied genomics; similar programs have also developed independently of the Sloan Foundation, such as the Master of Science in Bioinformatics at Johns Hopkins. And while most PSM-style programs are currently in the US, this may soon change: the 1999 Bologna Agreement requires all European Union universities to adopt uniform undergraduate and graduate degrees relevant to the European labour market; so master's-level industry-centric degrees are sure to follow. At Leiden University in the Netherlands, for example, students can now add a science-based business focus to any research master of science (MSc) program. Like all graduate programs, PSMs offer advanced coursework in a (science or math) specialization, usually in an emerging or hybrid field such as bioinformatics. Most PSMs also provide business coursesincluding finance, project management, regulatory affairs, and intellectual property lawand information technology classes as well. PSMs are industry relevant by design, with external advisory committees populated by local business leaders, weekly colloquia led by corporate representatives, special arrangements for employed students, and industry internships or final projects exploring realistic business scenarios (see Box 2). A key principle underlying the PSM model is interdisciplinarity. PSM students are encouraged to reach out to other departments and broaden their expertise in multiple areas, to better understand the collaborative culture of industry-style scientific enterprise. To promote such connections, PSM programs explicitly teach teamwork and effective scientific communication, with authentic case studies analyzed alongside MBA students, classroom presentations and public seminars, and open defenses of final projects. Consequently, PSM graduates, unlike many doctoral graduates, are trained to possess a wide array of interactive skills, including sizing up an audience for their ability to comprehend the presented material and adapting appropriately. In a science-based business, ideas must flow freely between scientists and non-scientists in and out of the companybetween researchers and marketers, say, or inventors and patent lawyersto capitalize on discoveries and comply with regulations. When non-scientists misunderstand the science underpinning a business model, profits suffer. But the presence of a central employee who streams data between differently educated members of the network may boost the bottom line. PSM students are specifically trained to act as such science translators. [My PSM] allows me to serve as an efficient mediator between corporate entities, university personnel, and scientists, says Herzer. For this reason, small companies and start-ups, which cannot afford specialists for every position, may particularly benefit from PSM-credentialed employees, able to connect different people and function in multiple roles; indeed, many PSM graduates have job descriptions expressly created for them. We need generalists rather than specialists, says James L. Ratcliff, Chairman and CEO of Rowpar Pharmaceuticals, a dental products company in Scottsdale, Arizona. For small companies like his, Ratcliff says, PSM graduates have an appropriate combination of project management expertise, an understanding of business environments and priorities, and advanced knowledge in the physical and life sciences. Although it is too early for comprehensive assessment, employment outcomes for PSM graduates have been examined, and this result is clear: they are getting industry jobs. According to The Conference Board, an independent business management organization funded by the Sloan Foundation to survey PSM alumni, by 2002, 91% of the first PSM graduates had obtained full-time positions within their field despite a white-collar recession, two-thirds with salaries of $50,000 or more. A separate analysis by the Commission on Professionals in Science and Technology found that 61.5% of employed respondents were hired by businesses. Employment opportunities range from marketing to bioinformatics (see Box 3). Companies need people that can work in companies, says Lindy A. Brigham, coordinator of the Applied Biosciences PSM program at the University of Arizona. Not a Perfect Cure Although most scientific careers demand a graduate degree, a professional master's in many hard sciences still encounters entrenched academic opposition. According to Lee-Jen Wei, then acting chair of the Department of Biostatistics in the Harvard School of Public Health, quoted in the Wall Street Journal , Harvard tries to create leadership in industry, academics and government, and our philosophy is we don't think that with a master's degree people can fill that role very easily. The government appears to agree with this view. While most doctoral candidates receive federal funds for tuition and other expenses, there is little money for master's students, who disproportionately end up in industry regardless of specialization. PSM students are especially affected by this problem because interdisciplinary equals expensive. Similarly, interdisciplinary can also mean hard to findcompanies with targeted recruitment often miss PSM students, who are not in any particular departmentand confusingdifferences in these new, still somewhat vaguely defined programs can make hiring comparisons difficult. But perhaps the most conspicuous drawback to PSMs is their newness, and resulting obscurity: almost half of graduates say they are not sure employers will value their PSM, or the unique skill set it affords. But Will They Succeed? Still, many observers of higher education support the PSM concept. Judith Glazer-Raymo, author of the forthcoming book Professionalizing Graduate Education: The Master's Degree in the Marketplace , argues that converging market forces will lead to the success of the professional master's degree in science. These forces include: rapid technological change; the rise of alternative learning channels such as online and distance education, corporate universities, and hi-tech certification programs; the proliferation of degrees in general, and in multidisciplinary fields specifically; and a fundamental societal shift away from public service and toward entrepreneurship, profitability, and competition. Kenneth R. Smith, former dean of the Eller College of Business and Public Administration at the University of Arizona, and others make the case that PSMs may protect students' careers from outsourcing to foreign countries. The American S&E labor pool is shrinking, and industry has already responded by transferring much of its research and development overseas; however, companies are mostly moving lab scientists, not strategic analysts. Cross-training in both science and business could thus provide an edge for domestic workers in the near-term employment environment; in fact, PSM programs have a higher proportion of US citizens and residents than S&E doctoral programs. Further, in its 2003 report, the National Science Board urged the government to better align S&E graduate education with expected national skill needs, including interdisciplinary skills. The report also recommended federal funding for a wider range of educational options and more attention on the real economic concerns of studentscode words for support of professional master's degree initiatives. In the same vein, top universities now advocate interconnections between their professional schools and traditional departments, as a way of strengthening the overall academic mission, and many countries are sponsoring initiatives to stimulate universityindustry links, to maximize marketing of technological innovations. For advocates, then, the PSM both advances the cause of science education reform and addresses changing employment conditions with one big idea: reinvention of the two-year graduate credential for an entrepreneurial age. Herzer, for one, now a technology development representative at the Scripps Research Institute, has staked his future on the potential of professional master's degrees. Scientists rarely understand business dealings, and business personnel rarely comprehend scientific discoveries, he says. The overlay of the two is crucial for any successful business transaction of scientific origins. The Fourth International Conference on Neuroesthetics was not a large event, but it was an unusual one. Held on a single day in the basement auditorium of the Berkeley Art Museum at the University of California at Berkeley, it brought together a typically motley collection of intellectuals who would willingly give over a sunny Saturday to an opportunity to learn from a panel of distinguished speakers. This was not the unusual part. Nor was it unusual that the meeting was touted as an interdisciplinary event, bringing together the best and brightest of different fields. These days, and perhaps it has always been the case, interdisciplinarity is the rule rather than the exception of innovative science. What set this meeting apart was the fluid progression from art to science, in content as well as in style. The artists were more or less scientific, the scientists more or less artistic. The topic was empathy (Empathy in the Brain and in Art)more particularly, man's (and not just man's) ability to recognize and respond to the expressions of others. What do we respond to in an expression and what are the mechanisms in the brain that underlie these responses? And as the primatologist Frans de Waal (Emory University) highlighted, how much of our empathic natures do we share with our ape cousins? In a slide presentation of her work and sources of inspiration, portrait photographer Judy Dater clearly captured with great sensitivity an infinite variety of poignant expressions. However, when asked, she could not clearly articulate the choices she had made in posing and photographing her subjects, could not give dimensions to the criteria she was using. In contrast, the performance artist Leonard Pitt had clearly made a science out of expression. His physical demonstrations with Balinese masks, carved into iconic images of happiness, sadness, or anger, gave the audience insight into the variety of subtle expression that could be attributed to the mask with simple postural adjustments. Happiness melted into melancholy, sadness into ennui. It's not about moving, he observed, it's about not moving. The psychologist Paul Ekman (University of California at San Francisco) brought the official stamp of academia to his science of expression, documenting in the language of training-dependent effects on recognition the subtle range of expressions and microexpressions we can identify. For a practical example, he showed a clip from testimony in the O. J. Simpson trial of a moment in which the infamous houseguest Kato Kaelin was caught out in a lie. A fleeting hostile look crossed his otherwise carefully schooled features: invisible until pointed out, unmistakable after. Where the artist and psychologist show us the richness of the human behavioral repertoire, the neuroscientist tries to break behaviors down into manageable, testable predictions of the associated brain activity. In contrast to the feasts of expression presented by other speakers, the faces representative of basic emotions used by the cognitive neuroscientist Ray Dolan (University College London) to study the neural activity engendered by expressions seemed almost too caricatured to be meaningful. But Dolan, introducing his subject through the portraiture of American colonial artist Gilbert Stewart, deconstructed the information we derive from the expressions of others into five categoriesfamiliarity, identity, emotion, intentionality, and characterand was able to describe neural activity associated with carefully constructed experiments to probe each of these facets. Physiologist Vittorio Gallese (University of Parma) prompted many nods of satisfaction from the audience with his findings of activity in areas of the brain controlling movement when people simply watched the actions of others (see also the Research Article by Iacoboni et al. in this issue of PLoS Biology [DOI: 10.1371/journal. pbio.0030079 ]). Susan Langer, in her book Mind: An Essay on Human Feeling , has defined empathy as the direct physical reaction inherent in the perception of others, an involuntary breach of individual separateness, and to see the neural resonance, to see that the same activity patterns were being recreated in actor and observer, was to give substance to the intuition of empathy. Themed meetings, particularly when the theme does not conform to one discipline, are hard to pull off. It can be nearly impossible to convince successful professionals on the lecture circuit to modify the presentation of their own work to support such a theme. In that respect, this meeting was no different from manysome speakers were hard-pressed to conform to the theme, and it is not clear that many attendees learned information of practical value to their work from speakers across disciplines. However, it is not often that scientists have the luxury of stepping back and appreciating the context of their work in quite this way. It is not, for instance, usually appropriate to begin a paper on an apoptotic signaling pathway with a philosophical digression into the nature of Death. The abstract dimensions that the visual neuroscientist Alice O'Toole (University of Texas at Dallas) gave to facial characteristics are supposed to shed light on how we instantaneously recognize the friend we have not seen in 30 years. The electrophysiological signals in the brain that neurophysiologist Aina Puce (West Virginia University) described when we view simple movements is ultimately meant to explain how we identify with the subtle shrugging of shoulders that can transmute insouciance into insecurity. By reducing the problem to its simplest, most controlled form, scientists hope to shed light on the complexities of life. Auditory physiologists are supposed to tell us how we hear. And yet it will be a long time before they can explain music heard so deeply that it is not heard at all, but you are the music while the music lasts (T. S. Eliot, as quoted by the conference organizer, Semir Zeki [University College London]). But the richness of the goal makes the journey all the more rewarding. Office of the General Counsel B-274402 November 4, 1996 The Honorable John H. Chafee Chairman The Honorable Max Baucus Ranking Minority Member Committee on Environment and Public Works United States Senate The Honorable Thomas J. Bliley, Jr. Chairman The Honorable John D. Dingell Ranking Minority Member Committee on Commerce House of Representatives Subject: Environmental Protection Agency: Final Regulations for Revisions to the Federal Test Procedure for Emissions from Motor Vehicles Pursuant to section 801(a)(2)(A) of title 5, United States Code, this is our report on a major rule promulgated by Environmental Protection Agency, entitled "Final Regulations for Revisions to the Federal Test Procedure for Emissions from Motor Vehicles" (RIN: 2060-AE27). We received the rule on August 29, 1996. It was published in the Federal Register as a final rule on October 22, 1996. 61 Fed. Reg. 54851. The final rule revises the tailpipe emission portions of the Federal Test Procedure for light-duty vehicles and light-duty trucks. A new Supplemental Federal Test Procedure has been added to address areas not represented in the current procedures including aggressive (high-speed and/or high acceleration) driving behavior, rapid speed fluctuations, driving behavior following startup and use of air conditioning. Also included is a new set of requirements to more accurately reflect real road forces on the test dynamometer. Enclosed is our assessment of the Environmental Protection Agency's compliance with the procedural steps required by sections 801(a)(1)(B)(i) through (iv) of title 5 GAO/OGC-96-42 with respect to the rule. Our review indicates that the Environmental Protection Agency complied with the applicable requirements. If you have any questions about this report, please contact James Vickers, Senior Attorney, at (202) 512-8210. The official responsible for GAO evaluation work relating to the Environmental Protection Agency is Peter Guerrero, Director, Environmental Protection Issues. Mr. Guerrero can be reached at (202) 512-6111. Robert P. Murphy General Counsel Enclosure cc: Thomas E. Kelly, Director Office of Regulatory Management and Information Environmental Protection Agency Page 2 GAO/OGC-96-42 ENCLOSURE ANALYSIS UNDER 5 U.S.C. 801(a)(1)(B)(i)-(iv) OF A MAJOR RULE ISSUED BY THE ENVIRONMENTAL PROTECTION AGENCY ENTITLED "FINAL REGULATIONS FOR REVISIONS TO THE FEDERAL TEST PROCEDURE FOR EMISSIONS FROM MOTOR VEHICLES" (RIN: 2060-AE27) (i) Cost-benefit analysis The Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) has conducted a cost and benefit analysis regarding the final rule which is contained in the Regulatory Impact Analysis. EPA used two scenarios in arriving at the estimated cost of test facilities implementing the Supplemental Federal Test Procedure. One is the use of air conditioning simulation and the second is for the use of full environmental cells for air conditioning testing. The analysis found an annual cost of $198.9 million associated with the simulation scenario or a cost of $13.26 per vehicle. Under the full environmental cell scenario, the estimated annual cost would be $244.5 million or $16.30 per vehicle. These amounts include the cost of recalibration, redesign, mechanical integrity testing, certification durability demonstration, annual certification, test facility and vehicle hardware. The environmental benefits EPA estimates will be a per vehicle lifetime emission reduction of 4.4 pounds of nonmethane hydrocarbons, 277 pounds of carbon monoxide and 23.5 pounds of oxides of nitrogen. (ii) Agency actions relevant to the Regulatory Flexibility Act, 5 U.S.C. 603-605, 607 and 609 EPA has determined that the final rule will not have a significant economic impact on a substantial number of small entities. The automobile manufacturers regulated by the rule do not qualify as small entities within the meaning of the Regulatory Flexibility Act. Therefore, neither an initial nor final regulatory flexibility analysis was performed. (iii) Agency actions relevant to sections 202-205 of the Unfunded Mandates Reform Act of 1995, 2 U.S.C. 1532-1535 Based on the cost benefit analysis performed by EPA, the rule will not impose an intergovernmental mandate because there are no enforceable duties on State, local GAO/OGC-96-42 or tribal governments. However, the rule will impose a mandate on the private sector in excess of $100 million in any one year. EPA has prepared both a qualitative and quantitative assessment of the benefits and costs of the rule in the Regulatory Impact Analysis. EPA has considered numerous regulatory alternatives to the final provisions of the rule, which are discussed in both the preamble to the final rule and the Regulatory Impact Analysis, but has determined that the requirements expressed in the final rule constitute the most cost-effective and least burdensome alternative that would meet the mandate of section 206(h) of the Clean Air Act. (iv) Other relevant information or requirements under Acts and Executive orders Administrative Procedure Act, 5 U.S.C. 551 et seq. Instead of the notice and comment procedures in the Administrative Procedure Act, the EPA promulgated this rule using the procedures, which have similar notice and comment requirements, contained in section 307(d) of the Clean Air Act, as amended. (42 U.S.C. 7607(d)). The use of these procedures regarding rules pertaining to the promulgation or revision of regulations and test procedures for new motor vehicles or engines is mandated by section 307(d)(1)(K) of the Clean Air Act. EPA published a Notice of Proposed Rulemaking on February 7, 1995 (60 Fed. Reg. 7404), and conducted a public hearing on April 19 and 20, 1995 on the proposed rule. The comment period was to close on May 22, 1995, but was extended until July 19, 1995, because additional time was necessary to gather and analyze data relating to the rule. The preamble also notes (61 Fed. Reg. 54853) that additional comments, data and analyses were received after the close of the comment period and that the EPA considered such information in developing test procedures, cost estimates and lead time. Section 307(d)(4)(B)(i) permits EPA to put documents in the rulemaking docket after the comment period is over. This type of addition to the record after the close of the comment period and the need to reopen the comment period are discussed in Sierra Club v. Costle (657 F. 2d 298 at 392-400 (1981)), where the court held such action was not required because there was adequate time for response. We have been advised by EPA that the additional comments and data were added to the public docket between August and December 1995 and therefore at least 6 months was available for responses or objections to be filed. The preamble to the final rule discusses the comments received and any action taken as a result of the comments. Page 2 GAO/OGC-96-42 Paperwork Reduction Act, 44 U.S.C. 3501-3520 The rule contains information collection requirements which are subject to the Paperwork Reduction Act. EPA has submitted an Information Collection Request (ICR) document to the Office of Management and Budget for approval. The ICR contains the information required by the Act including the reasons for the collection of the information, the type of information and an estimate of the burden imposed on respondents. The burden of the requirement (testing, recordkeeping and reporting requirements) is estimated to average 566 hours annually for a typical manufacturer. EPA has solicited comments on the proposed information collection requirements to be sent to both EPA and OMB for consideration during the approval process. The information collection requirements will not be effective until OMB approval is obtained. Statutory authorization for the rule The EPA has cited sections 202, 206, 208 and 301 of the Clean Air Act, as amended. (42 U.S.C. 7521, 7525, 7542 and 7601). In particular, section 206(h) of the Act (42 U.S.C. 7525(h)) requires the Administrator of the EPA to review and revise the regulations regarding the testing of motor vehicles and motor vehicle engines to insure that vehicles are tested under circumstances which reflect the actual driving conditions under which motor vehicles are used, including conditions relating to fuel, temperature, acceleration and altitude. Executive Order No. 12866 OMB reviewed the rule under Executive Order No. 12866 as a "significant regulatory action." The Office of Information and Regulatory Affairs of OMB approved the final rule as complying with the requirements of the Order based on the information supplied by EPA, including a planned regulatory action document describing the reason for the rule and an assessment of the costs and budgetary impact of the rule. In its submission, EPA did not identify any other statute or executive order imposing procedural requirements relevant to the final rule. Page 3 GAO/OGC-96-42 Office of the General Counsel B-276130 February 25, 1997 The Honorable Alfonse M. D'Amato Chairman The Honorable Paul S. Sarbanes Ranking Minority Member Committee on Banking, Housing, and Urban Affairs United States Senate The Honorable Thomas J. Bliley, Jr. Chairman The Honorable John D. Dingell Ranking Minority Member Committee on Commerce House of Representatives Subject: Securities and Exchange Commission: Disclosure of Accounting Policies for Derivative Financial Instruments and Derivative Commodity Instruments Pursuant to section 801(a)(2)(A) of title 5, United States Code, this is our report on a major rule promulgated by the Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC), entitled "Disclosure of Accounting Policies for Derivative Financial Instruments and Derivative Commodity Instruments" (RIN: 3235-AG42/RIN: 3235-AG77). We received the rule on February 3, 1997. It was published in the Federal Register as a final rule on February 10, 1997. 62 Fed. Reg. 6044. This rule amends existing rules and forms for domestic and foreign issuers to clarify and expand disclosure requirements for market risk sensitive instruments. The amendments also require enhanced disclosure of accounting policies for derivative financial instruments and derivative commodity instruments in the footnotes to the financial statements. The amendments expand existing disclosure requirements to include quantitative and qualitative information about market risk inherent in market risk sensitive instruments and provide safe harbor protection to this information. In the aggregate, these amendments are designed to provide GAO/OGC-97-20 additional information about market risk sensitive instruments, which investors can use to better understand and evaluate the market risk exposures of a registrant. Enclosed is our assessment of the SEC's compliance with the procedural steps required by section 801(a)(1)(B)(i) through (iv) of title 5 with respect to the rule. Our review indicates that the SEC complied with the applicable requirements. If you have any questions about this report, please contact Kathleen E. Wannisky, Associate General Counsel for Operations, at (202) 512-5207. The officials responsible for GAO evaluation work relating to the Securities and Exchange Commission are Jean Gleason Stromberg, Director of Financial Institutions and Markets Issues (telephone 202-512-8678), and Robert W. Gramling, Director of Corporate Audits and Standards (telephone 202-512-9406). Robert P. Murphy General Counsel Enclosure cc: The Honorable Jonathan G. Katz Secretary Securities and Exchange Commission Page 2 GAO/OGC-97-20 ENCLOSURE ANALYSIS UNDER 5 U.S.C. 801(a)(1)(B)(i)-(iv) OF A MAJOR RULE ISSUED BY THE SECURITIES AND EXCHANGE COMMISSION ENTITLED "DISCLOSURE OF ACCOUNTING POLICIES FOR DERIVATIVE FINANCIAL INSTRUMENTS AND DERIVATIVE COMMODITY INSTRUMENTS" (RIN: 3235-AG42/RIN: 3235-AG77) (i) Cost-benefit analysis The Commission stated in its report to us that there is no statutory mandate for it to prepare a cost-benefit analysis of a rule. However, section 23(a)(2) of the Securities Exchange Act of 1934 directs the Commission to consider the impact that any rule will have on competition. The Commission states that it is adopting these amendments and disclosure items in response to requests from investors and others to provide more meaningful information about various financial and commodity instruments. According to the Commission, the expected benefits of these amendments are to provide more complete information about market risk sensitive instruments to investors and others. This more complete disclosure is expected to result in the markets operating more efficiently. The Commission believes that the benefits from the more complete disclosure and increased market efficiency are expected to outweigh the related costs. The Commission also believes that the rule will not impose any unnecessary or inappropriate burden on competition. (ii) Agency actions relevant to the Regulatory Flexibility Act, 5 U.S.C. 603-605, 607 and 609 Section 603: Initial Regulatory Flexibility Analysis The proposed rulemaking, 61 Fed. Reg. 578 (January 8, 1996) incorporated an initial regulatory flexibility analysis of the expected impact on small entities. The analysis provides the information required by paragraphs 603(b)(1) through (b)(3). It describes the reasons for the proposed action, and its objectives and legal basis. It describes the small entities (small business issuers) to which the rule will apply. It states that the proposed rule does not conflict or overlap with existing requirements, but rather tailors them for specific purposes. The analysis further points out that it has reduced the impact of the proposed amendments on small businesses by determining not to amend Regulation S-B to incorporate an item similar to proposed Item 305 of Regulation S-K. GAO/OGC-97-20 Section 604: Final Regulatory Flexibility Analysis The preamble to the final rule contains a summary of the Final Regulatory Flexibility Analysis. 62 Fed. Reg. 6062 (February 10, 1997). The agency submitted the entire analysis to us for our review when it submitted its report on the rule. As required by section 604(a)(1), the Commission provided a succinct statement of the need for, and the objectives of, the rule. Although no comments were filed that addressed the Initial Regulatory Flexibility Analysis, comments were received from 97 entities. The analysis discusses the changes made to the proposed rule as a result of the comments, including (1) extending the safe harbor to any Item 305 disclosure that is voluntarily provided by a small business issuer and (2) several changes that the Commission believes should reduce the cost for all registrants preparing the disclosures of quantitative information about market risk. The Commission also describes how excluding small business issuers from all but the accounting policy disclosures required by the rule limits substantially the application of the amendments to small entities. It also states that the accounting policies required by the new rule are clarifications of existing requirements and should not require any additional recordkeeping or bookkeeping. (iii) Agency actions relevant to sections 202-205 of the Unfunded Mandates Reform Act of 1995, 2 U.S.C. 1532-1535 As an independent regulatory agency, the Commission is not subject to title II of the Unfunded Mandates Reform Act of 1995. (iv) Other relevant information or requirements under Acts and Executive orders Administrative Procedure Act, 5 U.S.C. 551 et seq. The final rule was promulgated using the notice and comment procedures of 5 U.S.C. 553. The notice of proposed rulemaking was published in the Federal Register on January 8, 1996. 61 Fed. Reg. 578. The SEC received 97 comments to the proposed rulemaking. The commenters raised concerns relating to (1) accounting policy, (2) quantitative disclosures about market risk, (3) qualitative disclosures about market risk, and (4) implementation issues. The Commission discusses its reaction to these concerns, and changes made because of the comments, in the preamble to the rule published in the Federal Register. 62 Fed. Reg. 6062 (February 10, 1997). Page 2 GAO/OGC-97-20 Paperwork Reduction Act, 44 U.S.C. 3501-3520 According to the SEC, the amendments and disclosure items were submitted for review to the Office of Management and Budget in accordance with the Paperwork Reduction Act and were approved by OMB in accordance with the clearance procedures of that act (44 U.S.C. 3507). Because the various regulations, forms, and rules that are being amended by this rulemaking already possessed OMB control numbers, OMB did not assign new control numbers. The Commission stated that it also solicited comments on the compliance burdens associated with the proposals but received no public comment in response. Statutory authorization for the rule The final rule is authorized by sections 7, 10, 19, and 27a of the Securities Act of 1933 (15 U.S.C. 77g, 77j, 77s, and 77z-1) and sections 12, 13, 14, 21E, and 23 of the Securities Exchange Act of 1934 (15 U.S.C. 78l, 78m, 78q, 79u, and 79w). Executive Order No. 12866 This rule, promulgated by an independent regulatory agency, is not subject to the review requirements of Executive Order 12866. The Commission did not identify any other statutes or executive orders imposing requirements relevant to the rule. Page 3 GAO/OGC-97-20 Office of the General Counsel B-276709 April 24, 1997 The Honorable James M. Jeffords Chairman The Honorable Edward M. Kennedy Ranking Minority Member Committee on Labor and Human Resources United States Senate The Honorable Thomas J. Bliley, Jr. Chairman The Honorable John D. Dingell Ranking Minority Member Committee on Commerce House of Representatives Subject: Department of Health and Human Services: Individual Market Health Insurance Reform: Portability From Group to Individual Coverage; Federal Rules for Access in the Individual Market; State Alternative Mechanisms to Federal Rules Pursuant to section 801(a)(2)(A) of title 5, United States Code, this is our report on a major rule promulgated by the Department of Health and Human Services (HHS), entitled "Individual Market Health Insurance Reform: Portability From Group to Individual Coverage; Federal Rules for Access in the Individual Market; State Alternative Mechanisms to Federal Rules" (RIN: 0938-AH75). We received the rule on April 9, 1997. It was published in the Federal Register as a final rule on April 8, 1997. 62 Fed. Reg. 16985. The rule implements section 111 of the Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act of 1996 (HIPAA) to improve access to the individual insurance market. Certain "eligible individuals" who lose group health insurance coverage are assured availability of coverage in the individual market, on a guaranteed issue basis, without preexisting condition exclusions. Also, all individual health insurance coverage must be guaranteed renewable. The rule also sets forth the procedures that apply to states that choose to implement a mechanism under state law, as an alternative to the federal requirements with respect to guaranteed availability for GAO/OGC-97-38 eligible individuals and the rules that apply if a state does not substantially enforce the statutory requirements. Enclosed is our assessment of HHS' compliance with the procedural steps required by section 801(a)(1)(B)(i) through (iv) of title 5 with respect to the rule. Our review indicates that HHS complied with the applicable requirements. Our Office has performed work relating to this area recently, including "Health Insurance Portability: Reform Could Ensure Continued Coverage for up to 25 Million Americans" (HEHS-95-257). If you have any questions about this report, please contact James Vickers, Assistant General Counsel, at (202) 512-8210. The official responsible for GAO evaluation work relating to the Department of Health and Human Services is William Scanlon, Director, Health Financing and Systems Issues. Mr. Scanlon can be reached at (202) 512-7114. Robert P. Murphy General Counsel Enclosure cc: The Honorable Donna E. Shalala Secretary of Health and Human Services Page 2 GAO/OGC-97-38 ENCLOSURE ANALYSIS UNDER 5 U.S.C. 801(a)(1)(B)(i)-(iv) OF A MAJOR RULE ISSUED BY THE DEPARTMENT OF HEALTH AND HUMAN SERVICES ENTITLED "INDIVIDUAL MARKET HEALTH INSURANCE REFORM: PORTABILITY FROM GROUP TO INDIVIDUAL COVERAGE; FEDERAL RULES FOR ACCESS IN THE INDIVIDUAL MARKET; STATE ALTERNATIVE MECHANISMS TO FEDERAL RULES" (RIN: 0938-AH75) (i) Cost-benefit analysis HHS, in conjunction with the Departments of Labor and Treasury, has prepared a combined economic impact analysis for this interim final rule and the interim final rule issued jointly by the three Departments, and published the same day in the Federal Register, concerning group market provisions because the effects of the reforms and burdens imposed overlap the same group of issuers. 62 Fed. Reg. 16908-16920. For the portability from group to individual coverage under this rule, HHS cites estimates formulated by the Congressional Budget Office which shows the initial yearly cost (direct cost to the private sector) to be $50 million with 45,000 people covered and $200 million by the fifth year with 150,000 people covered. The analysis also discusses social welfare effects of the rule such as freeing people from "job lock," the inability to change jobs because of the possible loss of coverage. (ii) Agency actions relevant to the Regulatory Flexibility Act, 5 U.S.C. 603-605, 607 and 609 Since the rule was issued as an interim final rule and not as a general notice of proposed rulemaking, the rule is not subject to the Regulatory Flexibility Act. (iii) Agency actions relevant to sections 202-205 of the Unfunded Mandates Reform Act of 1995, 2 U.S.C. 1532-1535 Since the rule was issued as an interim final rule and not as a general notice of proposed rulemaking, the rule is not subject to the Unfunded Mandates Reform Act of 1995. GAO/OGC-97-38 (iv) Other relevant information or requirements under acts and executive orders Administrative Procedure Act, 5 U.S.C. 551 et seq. Section 2792 of the Public Health Service Act (42 U.S.C. 300gg-92) provides that the Secretary of HHS may promulgate any interim final rules determined to be appropriate to carry out the provisions of Part B of the act. The Secretary has determined that there is good cause under section 553(b) of the Administrative Procedure Act to not issue a notice of proposed rulemaking because it would be impracticable, unnecessary, or contrary to the public interest. The Secretary has found that without prompt guidance, some members of the regulated community would have difficulty complying with the requirements of the HIPAA and insured individuals will not understand the benefit to them of having a certificate of prior coverage to present upon entering the individual health insurance market. However, HHS is accepting comments on the interim final rule for a 90-day period for consideration in the development of the final rules to be issued implementing the HIPAA. Paperwork Reduction Act, 44 U.S.C. 3501-3520 The interim final rule contains information collections subject to review and approval by the Office of Management and Budget under the Paperwork Reduction Act. HHS has requested emergency review of the collections because the collection of the information is needed before the expiration of the normal time limits of the act to assure guaranteeing availability of individual health insurance coverage to certain individuals with prior group coverage. HHS is requesting that OMB provide a 30day comment period with OMB approval by June 1, 1997, for a 180-day period. During the 180-day period, HHS will publish a notice in the Federal Register initiating a 60-day agency review and public comment period with submittal to OMB for review and an extension of the emergency approval to follow. The notice contained in the preamble to the interim final rule complies with the requirements of the Paperwork Reduction Act by explaining the need for the information, the parties affected, and the burden estimate related to the collection. HHS estimates that the total annual responses will be 3.5 million in 1997 and 3 million in 1998 and 1999 with the total annual burden hours estimated to range from 335,000 to 586,000 hours in 1997; 384,000 to 882,000 hours in 1998; and 377,000 to 882,000 in 1999. The total annual cost of complying with the information collection is estimated to range from $4.9 million to $6.8 million in 1997; $5.1 million to $8.7 million in 1998; and $5.4 million to $8.7 million in 1999. Page 2 GAO/OGC-97-38 Statutory authorization for the rule The rule is promulgated under authority of sections 2741 through 2763, 2791, and 2792 of the Public Health Service Act (42 U.S.C. 300gg-41 through 300gg-63, 300gg-91, and 300gg-92). Executive Order No. 12866 The interim final rule was found to be an "economically significant" regulatory action by OMB under Executive Order No. 12866 and as such was reviewed by OMB based on the information supplied by HHS, including a planned regulatory action document describing the reason for the rule and an assessment of the costs and budgetary impact of the rule. OMB approved the rule on March 27, 1997. Page 3 GAO/OGC-97-38 Office of the General Counsel B-277047 June 2, 1997 The Honorable Alfonse M. D'Amato Chairman The Honorable Paul S. Sarbanes Ranking Minority Member Committee on Banking, Housing, and Urban Affairs United States Senate The Honorable Thomas J. Bliley, Jr. Chairman The Honorable John D. Dingell Ranking Minority Member Committee on Commerce House of Representatives Subject: Securities and Exchange Commission: Rules Implementing Amendments to the Investment Advisers Act of 1940 (Rule 203A-2) Pursuant to section 801(a)(2)(A) of title 5, United States Code, this is our report on a major rule promulgated by the Securities and Exchange Commission, entitled "Rules Implementing Amendments to the Investment Advisers Act of 1940 (Rule 203A-2)" (RIN: 3235-AH07). We received the rule on May 16, 1997. It was published in the Federal Register as a final rule on May 22, 1997. 62 Fed. Reg. 28112. The final rule, which was issued simultaneously with six other rules relating to the amendment of the Investment Advisers Act by the National Securities Markets Improvement Act of 1996, particularly title III, the Investment Adviser Supervision Coordination Act, exempts four types of advisers from the prohibition on SEC registration. These are: (1) certain pension consultants, (2) nationally recognized statistical rating organizations, (3) certain advisers affiliated with SEC-registered investment advisers, and (4) newly formed advisers that have a reasonable expectation of becoming eligible for SEC registration within 120 days. Enclosed is our assessment of the SEC's compliance with the procedural steps required by section 801(a)(1)(B)(i) through (iv) of title 5 with respect to the rule. Our review indicates that the SEC complied with the applicable requirements. GAO/OGC-97-46 If you have any questions about this report, please contact James Vickers, Assistant General Counsel, at (202) 512-8210. The official responsible for GAO evaluation work relating to the Securities and Exchange Commission is Jean Stromberg, Director, Financial Institutions and Markets Issues. Ms. Stromberg can be reached at (202) 512-8678. Robert P. Murphy General Counsel Enclosure cc: The Honorable Jonathan G. Katz Secretary Securities and Exchange Commission Page 2 GAO/OGC-97-46 ENCLOSURE ANALYSIS UNDER 5 U.S.C. 801(a)(1)(B)(i)-(iv) OF A MAJOR RULE ISSUED BY THE SECURITIES AND EXCHANGE COMMISSION ENTITLED "RULES IMPLEMENTING AMENDMENTS TO THE INVESTMENT ADVISERS ACT OF 1940 (RULE 203A-2)" (RIN: 3235-AH07) (i) Cost-benefit analysis The SEC has submitted to our Office a cost-benefit analysis of the final rule. The analysis concludes that the quantifiable costs associated with the rule are $600,000 for the Pension Consultant exemption, $18,000 for the Nationally Recognized Statistical Rating Organization exemption, $300,000 for the Affiliated Adviser exemption, and $8,700 for the New Adviser exemption for a total of $926,700. The analysis lists quantifiable benefits of $5,000,000 for the Affiliated Adviser exemption and $2,000,000 for the New Adviser exemption. In addition, another benefit includes permitting real estate advisers to pension plans to continue to register with the SEC, which will allow the advisers to comply with the requirements of the Employee Retirement Income Security Act of 1974 (ERISA). Also, new advisers would not have to register initially with a state or states, then deregister and register with the SEC if they had the expectation of being eligible for SEC registration within 120 days. (ii) Agency actions relevant to the Regulatory Flexibility Act, 5 U.S.C. 603-605, 607 and 609 The SEC prepared an Initial Regulatory Flexibility Analysis (IRFA) in connection with the proposed rule, which was summarized in the notice of proposed rulemaking (61 Fed. Reg. 68480, 68491-92, December 27, 1996), and was available to the public in its entirety. One comment was received in response to the IRFA. The preamble to the final rule contains a summary of the Final Regulatory Flexibility Analysis, a complete copy of which was submitted to our Office and was available to the public. The analysis describes the reason for the final rule and the legal basis for it; descriptions and estimates of the number of small entities affected by the rule; a discussion of the recordkeeping, reporting, and other compliance requirements; and the steps taken to minimize the burdens on small entities. The SEC estimated that of the 23,350 investment advisers currently registered with the SEC, 17,650 advisers would be considered small entities. After July 8, 1997, GAO/OGC-97-46 approximately 850 of those small entities would remain eligible for registration with the SEC. The comment received in response to the IRFA concerned the impact of the proposed rule on small entities that manage funds regulated under ERISA. ERISA protects a plan's named fiduciary from liability for the individual decisions of an "investment manager" appointed by the fiduciary to manage the plan's assets. "Investment manager" is defined by ERISA to include investment advisers registered under the Advisers Act. Although ERISA has been amended to include stateregistered investment advisers as "investment managers," the amendment expires 2 years after enactment. When this amendment expires, small advisers effectively will not be able to manage ERISA funds. While the SEC found that it would be inconsistent with the Coordination Act to grant an exemption for the above-described small entities, the Commissioner has written to the congressional committees concerned urging that the sunset provision be eliminated and the ERISA exemption be made permanent. Also, in response to concerns expressed, the final rule increases the threshold for Commission registration from $25 to $30 million of assets under management. (iii) Agency actions relevant to sections 202-205 of the Unfunded Mandates Reform Act of 1995, 2 U.S.C. 1532-1535 As an independent regulatory agency, the SEC is not subject to title II of the Unfunded Mandates Reform Act of 1995. (iv) Other relevant information or requirements under acts and executive orders Administrative Procedure Act, 5 U.S.C. 551 et seq. The final rule was promulgated using the notice and comment procedures of 5 U.S.C. 553. A notice of proposed rulemaking was published on December 27, 1996, 61 Fed. Reg. 68480, and requested the submission of comments. The SEC received 105 comments in response to the proposed rule. The comments received and actions taken as a result of the comments are discussed in the preamble to the final rule, including the redrafting of certain language on the Form ADV-T for greater clarity. Paperwork Reduction Act, 44 U.S.C. 3501-3520 The final rule requires the collection of information which is subject to review by the Office of Management and Budget (OMB) under the Paperwork Reduction Act. OMB has approved the information collection contained on the Form ADV and has Page 2 GAO/OGC-97-46 issued OMB No. 3235-0049 following the submission of revised burden hour estimates. The SEC now estimates that the annual burden estimate for all respondents to Form ADV is 18,128 hours. Statutory authorization for the rule The SEC cites section 203A(c) of the Investment Advisers Act of 1940 (15 U.S.C. 80b-3A(c)) as authority for the promulgation of the final rule. Executive Order No. 12866 The rule, promulgated by an independent regulatory agency, is not subject to the review requirements of Executive Order No. 12866. Page 3 GAO/OGC-97-46 Office of the General Counsel B-279213 February 23, 1998 The Honorable John McCain Chairman The Honorable Ernest F. Hollings Ranking Minority Member Committee on Commerce, Science, and Transportation United States Senate The Honorable Thomas J. Bliley, Jr. Chairman The Honorable John D. Dingell Ranking Minority Member Committee on Commerce House of Representatives Subject: Federal Communications Commission: Service and Auction Rules for the 38.6-40.0 GHz Frequency Band Pursuant to section 801(a)(2)(A) of title 5, United States Code, this is our report on a major rule promulgated by the Federal Communications Commission (FCC), entitled "Service and Auction Rules for the 38.6-40.0 GHz Frequency Band" (ET Docket No. 95-183; PP Docket No. 93-253; FCC 97-391). We received the rule on February 6, 1998. It was published in the Federal Register as a final rule on February 6, 1998. 63 Fed. Reg. 6079. The final rule amends the FCC's rules to facilitate more effective use of the 39 GHz band by implementing a number of improvements, such as licensing by Basic Trading Areas and employing competitive bidding procedures as a means for choosing among mutually exclusive license applicants. In addition, the regulatory framework for the 39 GHz band is expanded to include service rules for mobile operations which, in the view of the FCC, will promote competition by increasing both the diversity of potential service offerings and the number of providers that can offer any service. GAO/OGC-98-29 Enclosed is our assessment of the FCC's compliance with the procedural steps required by section 801(a)(1)(B)(i) through (iv) of title 5 with respect to the rule. Our review indicates that the FCC complied with the applicable requirements. If you have any questions about this report, please contact James Vickers, Assistant General Counsel, at (202) 512-8210. The official responsible for GAO evaluation work relating to the Federal Communications Commission is John Anderson, Director of Transportation Issues. Mr. Anderson can be reached at (202) 512-2834. Robert P. Murphy General Counsel Enclosure cc: Kathy Fagan AMD-Performance Evaluation and Records Management Federal Communications Commission Page 2 GAO/OGC-98-29 ENCLOSURE ANALYSIS UNDER 5 U.S.C. 801(a)(1)(B)(i)-(iv) OF A MAJOR RULE ISSUED BY THE FEDERAL COMMUNICATIONS COMMISSION ENTITLED "SERVICE AND AUCTION RULES FOR THE 38.6-40.0 GHZ FREQUENCY BAND" (ET Docket No. 95-183; PP Docket No. 93-253; FCC 97-391) (i) Cost-benefit analysis The FCC, in its report to our Office, states that it was not required to prepare and did not prepare a cost-benefit analysis of the final rule. (ii) Agency actions relevant to the Regulatory Flexibility Act, 5 U.S.C. 603-605, 607, and 609 The FCC prepared both an Initial Regulatory Flexibility Analysis and a Final Regulatory Flexibility Analysis in connection with the proposed and final rules, respectively. In the Final Regulatory Flexibility Analysis, which appears in the preamble to the final rule, the FCC describes the reason for the rule and the legal basis for it. It also includes a description of the number of small entities affected by the rule; a discussion of the recordkeeping, reporting, and other compliance requirements; and the steps taken to minimize the burdens on small entities. Among the steps taken by the FCC to minimize the economic impact on small entities, small businesses with revenues of not more than $40 million are eligible for a 25-percent bidding credit and small businesses with average annual gross revenues of not more than $15 million are eligible for a 35-percent bidding credit. (iii) Agency actions relevant to sections 202-205 of the Unfunded Mandates Reform Act of 1995, 2 U.S.C. 1532-1535 As an independent regulatory agency, the FCC is not subject to title II of the Unfunded Mandates Reform Act of 1995. GAO/OGC-98-29 (iv) Other relevant information or requirements under acts and executive orders Administrative Procedure Act, 5 U.S.C. 551 et seq. The final rule was promulgated using the notice and comment procedures contained in 5 U.S.C. 553. The FCC published a Notice of Proposed Rulemaking (NPRM) in the Federal Register on January 26, 1996 (61 Fed. Reg. 2465). The FCC received 35 comments and 17 reply comments in response to the NPRM to which it responds in the preamble to the final rule. Paperwork Reduction Act, 44 U.S.C. 3501-3520 The final rule contains information collections which are subject to review by the Office of Management and Budget under the Paperwork Reduction Act. The preamble to the proposed rule contained the information required under the Paperwork Reduction Act concerning the collections, including the needs and uses of the requirements, the number of estimated respondents, and the total annual burden hours. The preamble, at 61 Fed. Reg. 2466, discusses the four collections, which include certification of a minimum number of installed and operating microwave links and the maintenance of a computer-readable database. Statutory authorization for the rule The final rule is issued pursuant to the authority in sections 4(i), 257, 303(r), and 309(j) of the Communications Act of 1934, as amended, 42 U.S.C. 154(i), 257, 303(r), and 309(j). Executive Order No. 12866 The rule, promulgated by an independent regulatory agency, is not subject to the review requirements of Executive Order No. 12866. Page 2 GAO/OGC-98-29 As the Hispanic world well knows, the word in Spanish for advertising is propaganda, its meaning derived literally from the propagation of the faith, the antithesis of science's Enlightenment ideals. The old word somehow seems perfect for describing the new world of drug promotion and its growing use of the famous face. Like the catholic cardinals of the 17th century, many of the feted celebrities of the 21st are now engaged in spreading the word. Now, as then, the religion promises miraculous breakthroughs, wonder cures, and sometimes even eternal life. The difference is that this time around, the stars are earning fat fees from the marketing departments of giant pharmaceutical companies. And if the latest revelations from industry insiders are anything to go by, their hefty investments in celebrity selling are well worth it. Celebrity Selling The epicentre of this phenomenon is of course the United States, where companies routinely hire celebrities to attract attention to the latest drugs and the diseases that go with them. Pfizer famously paid presidential hopeful Bob Dole to promote awareness of erectile dysfunction as sildenafil (Viagra) was hitting the market. Wyeth hired supermodel Lauren Hutton to hawk hormone replacement therapy and menopause. GSK contracted football star Ricky Williams to sell social anxiety disorder, helping make paroxetine (Paxil)brieflythe world's top-selling antidepressant. Even the dead are raising awareness, with the estate of Errol Flynn now enlisted to help promote cardiovascular disease as a household name [1]. The celebrity, living or dead, becomes integral to a drug marketing strategy that includes paid advertising and aggressive public relations campaigns that can produce media appearances on the likes of Oprah and The Today Show . According to celebrity brokers, the star's remuneration package, though always confidential, can range from $20,000 to $2 million. A partnership between a celebrity and a brand has an intangible sort of magic, writes a senior marketing executive at Amgen, in an extremely candid piece published recently in an industry trade magazine [2]. Amgen is the Californian biotech firm that hired handsome West Wing star Rob Lowe to help market an anti-infection drug. Lowe was reportedly paid more than $1 million by Amgen, though there is speculation that part of the fee might flow to charity [3]. In her report, Amgen's Osnat Benshoshan shares some thoughtful tips with her peers among the pharmaceutical marketing fraternity: use an A-list celebrity; find a news-hook that links the celebrity and your product; develop some simple messages; and make sure the celebrity delivers them at every appearance. Benshoshan then reveals why on-air talk-show appearances on top-tier media venues like The Rosie Show can be better forums for celebrities than straight advertisements, which are governed by regulations. The great advantage over advertising is that the airtime is practically free, and there is no fair balance to worry about she writes [2]. The downside with a media interview, she laments, is that compared to a scripted ad, the situation is less controllable. It can be tricky for the celebrity to ensure that all product messages are delivered. Her other big tip for drug-makers is to rate your prospective celebrity with a Q score, a measure of their likeability and recognisability with the public. Apparently Rob Lowe's Q score was high with women over fifty, a key target of the Amgen campaign [3]. Another recent report from within the industry draws on public opinion survey data to guide drug company marketers on the selection and effective use of celebrity spokespersons [4]. The survey was conducted by a Seattle firm called NexCura Inc., in partnership with the trade magazine that published the study. The major findings echo the insights of the Amgen executive about credibility, and underline the importance of your star being perceived as generally trustworthy, and specifically knowledgeable about the condition on which they are hired to speak. Perhaps not surprisingly, the survey found that people diagnosed as suffering chronic conditions were far more attentive to celebrity messages on health than the general public. The issue of credibility is important, the NexCura Inc. researchers point out, because the credibility rating is used as a surrogate for buying behavioran intermediate measure of whether the star can persuade people to request the target drug from their doctor. The survey found that Bob Dole was still the most recognisable celebrity marketer with the United States public, but that the skater Dorothy Hamillcurrently promoting Merck's arthritis medication rofecoxib (Vioxx)took the lead in the credibility stakes. Significantly though, almost three-quarters of those surveyed were correctly able to identify Bob Dole with Pfizer's Viagra, despite the fact that the advertisements in which he appeared were unbranded ads for erectile dysfunction. The researchers concluded by recommending that drug companies choose a celebrity with personal experience of the target condition; choose someone trustworthyperhaps a newsreader or sports figure; and choose someone who will promote a single cause or brand rather than multiple ones. Ironically, the NexCura survey also found two-thirds of medical consumers agreed with the proposition that celebrities were just doing it for the money and can't be trusted. The Trouble with Celebrity Selling The first problem here is that the public is often not even informed whether a celebrity is receiving money from a drug company. In the case of TV star Rob Lowe, there was no mandated requirement for him to disclose his link with Amgen when appearing on media shows watched by millions. According to one industry insider familiar with the case, who did not want to be named, it depended if he remembered to say it, and whether he was asked. The media's failure to disclose relevant conflicts of interest when covering healthcare is well established [5]. When Frasier star Kelsey Grammer and his wife were promoting irritable bowel syndrome on top-rating TV shows, viewers thought the pair were speaking on behalf of an independent foundation. In fact the couple's fee had flowed from GSK, which was at that time preparing the market for alosetron (Lotronex), a controversial new drug that carried modest benefits and severe side effects, including possible death [6]. Equally as serious is the lack of any formal requirement for stars or media outlets to spell out drug side effects along with benefits when celebrities are pushing products or conditions. Lauren Hutton can be quoted, in magazine articles read by millions of readers, as saying, My No. 1 secret is estrogen without any need for her, or the magazine, to list the dangers of the hormone replacement therapy made by her sponsor [7]. But perhaps most troubling is the way celebrities, with their star power, can help to fundamentally shift the public debate about major health problems. While Prince Charles's companion Camilla Parker Bowles takes no money from drug companies, she did choose to make an important public statement about the bone condition osteoporosis at an international conference funded by Lilly, a company promoting a medication for the condition [8]. Camilla's call for early intervention and greater use of expensive tests and technologies for the primary prevention of osteoporosis drew on materials sponsored by the pharmaceutical industry, and was synchronised with simplistic industry marketing messages. Camilla's high-profile intervention at a drug company sponsored forum, albeit unwittingly, helps keep the focus on biochemical causes of, and biochemical solutions to, the much wider public health problem of fractures. Moreover these simple marketing messages undermine the complexity of the cost-effectiveness arguments that are central to any rational debate about the equitable distribution of health care resources. Other high-profile figures attending the same conference eagerly accepted Lilly money, and one, former Texas Governor Ann Richards, blatantly promoted Lilly's drug during an interview on CNN's Larry King Show just days later [8]. The Future of Celebrity Selling With pharmaceutical marketing, it is clear that nothing short of a Vatican II-style reform is required, though there are already encouraging signs of change. Scientific journals are slowly disentangling themselves from unhealthy industry influence over what they publish, and public access to clinical trial data is daily a closer reality [9]. However, a less distorted scientific record about healthcare products is meaningless without regulations on how important science is communicated to the public. Celebrities paid by drug companies to promote drugs, or raise awareness about disease, should be subject to the same rules as direct-to-consumer advertising, which would mean prohibition in many nations and much more fulsome disclosure in the United States than is currently the case. At the very least, public disclosure of a product's risks and benefits, and the magnitude of the celebrity's fee, should be mandatory and routine. Let's see what that does to their Q rating. Over the past several years, there has been growing concern about selective publication of clinical trial results [1,2]. The debate has intensified since New York State Attorney General Elliot Spitzer filed suit against GlaxoSmithKline on June 2, 2004, alleging that the company was hiding data regarding the efficacy and safety of selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors in pediatric patients with depression [3]. The two most frequently suggested remedies for the selective reporting of clinical trials results have been to register all clinical trials and to make their results publicly available. Registries have been called for at least as far back as 1974; hundreds have in fact already been established [4]. Shortcomings of registries include the fact that they are often not coordinated and that participation is often voluntary andin cases where they are mandated by legislationdifficult to enforce. For example, ClinicalTrials.gov, a registry authorized by the Food and Drug Modernization Act of 1997, appears not to be comprehensive. One study found that, of 127 cancer protocols sponsored by pharmaceutical companies that met criteria for inclusion, only 48% were in fact submitted to the registry [5]. Thus, one can check a number of registries and still have little assurance that all the relevant trials of interest have been included. Increasing the pressure on pharmaceutical companies to include more trials in registries, the International Committee of Medical Journal Editors has announced that, as a condition of considering a trial for publication, member journals will require its registration in a public trials registry [6]. Further, at the American Medical Association (AMA) Annual Meeting of the House of Delegates in June 2004, the AMA called on the Department of Health and Human Services to establish a comprehensive national registry. In September 2004, an AMA trustee testified in a United States Congressional hearing, outlining elements necessary to make such a registry effective [7]. Momentum for a comprehensive clinical trials registry is also building internationally [8]. In this essay, I argue that a highly valuable but underused registry and results database for US trials already exists within the Department of Health and Human Services, specifically within the Food and Drug Administration (FDA). New Drug Applications Before a pharmaceutical company can conduct a US trial that it intends to use in support of a new drug application (NDA), it must first register that trial with the FDA. Because the NDA forms the basis for marketing approval, it seems likely that the percentage of industry-sponsored trials that are registered with the FDA is very high. This registration takes the form of an investigational new drug (IND) application [9]. The IND contains a trial protocol; protocols for additional studies within the same clinical trials program are submitted as amendments to the IND. Later, when the sponsor has completed its clinical trials program and wishes to apply for marketing approval, it submits its NDA. The FDA then begins the NDA review process, during which a physician, a statistician, and a pharmacologist, among others, generate lengthy review documents [10]. These reviews not only address the sponsor's analyses of the data on pivotal studies, but they often also include reanalyses by the reviewers using raw data obtained from the sponsor. These analyses are conducted in adherence to the statistical methods set forth a priori in the original trial protocols. (By contrast, with most journal publications, it is usually not possible for the reader to verify whether what is presented as the main finding is consistent with the original hypothesis or whether it was a post hoc finding.) After the primary reviewers have written their reviews, shorter reviews are written by their superiors, with the process culminating in a decision about whether to approve the drug for the proposed indication. A Semi-Public Database This process occurs entirely outside of the public domain. However, in the interest of making the FDA more transparent, and in accordance with the Electronic Freedom of Information Act [11], the FDA has, for the past several years, posted selected NDA reviews for approved drugindication combinations on the FDA Web site Drugs@FDA (http://www.accessdata.fda.gov/scripts/cder/drugsatfda/index.cfm). These NDA review documents are much more detailed than the resulting package insert and often more detailed than corresponding journal publications. For example, while the clinical trials section of the package insert is typically a few paragraphs long, the efficacy portion of the clinical review usually runs tens of pages. Because the FDA is made aware of all studies that the sponsor plans to use in support of the NDA before they are conducted, and thus before there can be any selection based on outcome, these reviews cover not only studies that are positive (and more likely to be published in journals), but also studies whose outcome was negative or indeterminate. The sidebar gives an example of how NDA review documents at the FDA give valuable information about paroxetine for anxiety disorders. FDA Reviews for All Approved Drugs Should Be Made Public In the examples discussed in the sidebar, our having access to the FDA review documents allows us to become aware of, and see beyond, apparent publication bias. It is in the best interest of the public health for the FDA to make as many reviews available as possible. According to the FDA Web site, As FDA continues to be one of the world's leading agencies in its emphasis on openness and transparency, it is aware that making even more information available to the public will further the Agency's mission to protect and promote public health and improve its credibility. For example, FDA has aggressively implemented the Electronic Freedom of Information Act [11]. Unfortunately, the availability of review documents on Drugs@FDA is sporadic. To take additional examples from psychiatry, NDA reviews have been posted on Drugs@FDA for some approved drugindication combinations, such as fluoxetine for pediatric depression, and aripiprazole and quetiapine for schizophrenia. However, NDA reviews for many other drugindication combinations have not been posted: the Prozac Weekly formulation of fluoxetine, clozapine for suicidal behavior in patients with schizophrenia or schizoaffective disorder, and quetiapine for mania, among others. A review on paroxetine for pediatric depression, the subject of Elliot Spitzer's suit against GlaxoSmithKline, is not posted. This is probably because this drugindication combination was not approved; in fact, it is possible that GlaxoSmithKline did not file an NDA to be reviewed. However, I do not understand why, in cases where NDAs were both submitted and approved, such as the ones listed above, some reviews are posted while others are not. I therefore suggest that we increase access to the clinical trials registry and results database that already exist within the FDA. The agency could expand its implementation of the Electronic Freedom of Information Act and make all NDA reviews, at least for approved NDAs, available in the public domain. The act is written into the FDA portion of the Code of Federal Regulations as follows: The Food and Drug Administration will make the fullest possible disclosure of records to the public, consistent with the rights of individuals to privacy, the property rights of persons in trade secrets and confidential commercial or financial information [12]. Obstacles and Limitations There would surely be obstacles. The pharmaceutical industry would vigorously invoke Exemption 4 of the Freedom of Information Act, the exemption for trade secrets and confidential business information [13]. However, the FDA Freedom of Information Office already deals with confidential and proprietary information by redacting or editing it out of the review documents before making them available. Within the FDA's Freedom of Information Office, staffing would need to be greatly increased. Some oversight might be necessary to ensure that the taxpaying public has been granted the fullest possible access and that unwarranted redaction does not occur. Unless the Freedom of Information Act is modified, access would still likely be limited to approved NDAs. Data would remain unavailable for trials that did not lead to an approved NDA. It should be clarified that this resource does not compete with proposals by the AMA and other groups for clinical trial registriesrather, it complements them. The AMA has proposed the creation of a registry that is comprehensive in scope. The FDA's registry and results database are restricted to those trials aimed at supporting US marketing approval or a change in labeling in the US. While data from many studies conducted abroad are submitted to the FDA for this purpose, this is not the case for drugs for which the sponsor has elected not to seek approval for marketing in the US. Nor does the FDA review data from most trials funded by other US government agencies, such as the National Institutes of Health, or by foundations. And drug companies fund investigator-initiated trials that are often not registered with the FDA. To make the FDA review data more accessible and user-friendly, simple formatting changes would be needed. For those (few) reviews that are currently posted on Drugs@FDA, one can determine the indication being evaluated only after opening the document and paging through it. (Descriptive titles would be helpful, and these could be linked to ClinicalTrials.gov. Further, the trials reviewed could be identified with a unique international identifier, as promoted by the World Health Organization [14].) Despite the fact that the reviews are created in Microsoft Word and converted to PDF, the versions that appear on the Web site are no longer in a searchable text format. While the reviews tend to be well organized, the posted versions are difficult to navigate because there is no hyperlinked table of contents. In addition to having these formatting issues addressed, clinicians and patients might benefit from brief summaries, the writing of which might require the addition of new FDA staff. Conclusion Despite the limitations of the FDA's database, making it public is a strategy that could be implemented both rapidly and easily by building upon existing infrastructure. While we await the creation of a clinical trials registry and results database that is truly comprehensive, we already have at our disposal one that could serve as a trove of in-depth and unbiased information on many, if not most, drugs currently marketed in the US. The study by Planche et al. [1] provides important new information addressing intracellular volume depletion in children with severe childhood malaria, but does not address the question of whether intravascular volume depletion (hypovolemic shock) is present. Using sophisticated methodology to determine total body water and extracellular water, they demonstrate a 6.7% deficit in total body water and an 11.7% deficit of intracellular water, providing an important indication of the volumes of fluid that may be required to optimize hydration. The data, however, do not address the degree of filling of the intravascular compartment, nor should they be used to answer the question about the state of tissue and organ perfusion. Indeed, we believe that these new data present no conflict with our previously reported findings. Using methods to study critical illness physiology that are widely employed within pediatric intensive care units for interpretation of circulatory status, we have demonstrated evidence for hypovolemia in 53 Kenyan children with severe malaria complicated by metabolic acidosis [2]. Our children were younger, had longer capillary refilling times (>3 s), lower central venous pressures (mean 2.9 cm H 2 O) and higher creatinines (>80 mol/l): all features of compensated hypovolemic shock. Furthermore, hypotension (systolic BP < 80 mm Hg) was present in 44% of children with severe acidosis (base deficit >15). These findings also indicate important baseline differences in two cohorts of children studied. We agree that reconsideration of guidelines for acute fluid management is warranted, particularly when current recommendations await an adequate evidence base. Nevertheless, conflicting opinions on the question of volume status in children with severe malaria can be satisfactorily resolved only through prospective randomized trials that include both fluid resuscitation and control groups. While the design and conduct of such trials will involve considerable challenges, optimal fluid management will never be resolved on the basis of theoretical consideration alone. Dr. Gerberding outlines critical steps for arresting the HIV/AIDS epidemic [1]. She suggests moving ahead with ABCs and with D for diagnosis and R for responsibility. These are good suggestionswith increased HIV testing and individuals taking responsibility for their role in HIV spread, the epidemic might be slowed. We could continue to add incrementally to the alphabet soup of public health. But instead, we could choose to immediately implement the mainstays of public healthuniversal testing and contact tracing [2,3,4]. Every sexually active individual and every individual at risk for HIV deserves to know their HIV status. Thus, every HIV-infected individual must be called upon to be accountable for preventing HIV transmission. Contact tracing should be instituted for HIV just as it is for other infectious diseases. Those who have been exposed to HIV have a right to know how to protect themselves and if they too are infected, to be offered treatment [5]. HIV testing has too often focused on testing of women in a perinatal setting rather than universal testing in routine clinical care. Without universal voluntary HIV testing and contact tracing, we will see the continued tilt of the epidemic toward women, now at 55% of all HIV infections and in all likelihood at 75%80% in another 8 to 10 years [6,7]. For too long the debate has been that contact tracing will result in physical abuse of women. Confining our definition of abuse of women to physical abuse alone is to have too narrow an ethical focusHIV infection itself is an abuse of women or of anyone else. Universal HIV testing and contact tracing adds an essential comprehensive public health approach to the epidemic that will be successful in reducing the ever-escalating numbers of new infections. There has been a recent and dramatic rise in global funding for HIV/AIDS, from US$2.1 billion in 2001 to US$6.1 billion in 2004 [1], thanks to several new funding mechanisms (Box 1). These funds, coupled with reduced drug costs, make it feasible to roll out antiretroviral therapy (ART) even in resource-poor settings. Nevertheless, the total number of people living with HIV rose in 2004 to reach its highest level ever: an estimated 39.4 million people are living with the virus, including 4.9 million who acquired it in 2004 [1]. Therefore, the debate over the appropriate distribution of money between prevention efforts (such as voluntary counseling and testing [VCT], or behavior change) and treatment efforts (the provision of ART) is now more topical than ever. Balancing Prevention and Treatment The scale of the proposed increase in the number of patients receiving ART raises numerous questions about the treatment itself. Which drugs will be used? How much will it cost? How will their quality be monitored and assured? How will they be distributed? Who will be eligible? How will the desired level of treatment be sustained? Is there adequate infrastructure and human resources to support the expanded services? The commitment of substantial funding to treatment in resource-poor countries also has implications for the prevention efforts in those same countries. In many Western countries and Brazil (the sources of the majority of the available data on the subject), the impressive drop in mortality due to HIV following increased access to ART is coupled with a disheartening rise in the number of new cases of HIV, as emphasis and funding are shifted from prevention to treatment [2]. Countries in which this pattern has been seen are evidence of the pitfalls of failing to adapt prevention efforts once life-extending treatment becomes widely available. Of course, prevention and treatment are not mutually exclusive. Successful prevention efforts mean fewer patients will need the costly drug treatment programs, helping extend the sustainability of ART. In turn, the success of ART in prolonging healthy living helps prevention efforts by reducing the stigma associated with self-education and responsible behaviors. Measuring Prevention and Treatment Effects In their study in the January 2005 issue of PLoS Medicine , Integrating HIV Prevention and Treatment: From Slogans to Impact, Salomon and colleagues use mathematical modeling to assess the epidemiologic impact of treatment and prevention efforts, and to quantify the opportunities and potential risks of large-scale treatment roll-out. Using a variety of different scenarios, they propose methods for establishing the most effective balance between spending on prevention and spending on treatment. Modeling is a technique used by many scientists, including epidemiologists and statisticians, to create a mathematical equation that can be used to determine which variables affect an outcome of interest, and to what extent. Once the influential variables are determined, a baseline model is established that includes those variables and reflects their relative importance to the outcome. The effect of changing the value of any of these variables, or several of them, can then be tested, and new outcomes projected. HIV modeling is inexact and requires far better data but can nevertheless provide important insights. Salomon and colleagues used mathematical modeling to assess the effect of changing aspects of the HIV/AIDS equation on the future course of the HIV/AIDS epidemic. First, a baseline model was created to fit expected HIV/AIDS projections for the year 2020 if there were to be no change in the current epidemiologic trendsno ART scale-up, and no changes in prevention efforts or behavior. Heterosexual contact is the predominant mode of HIV transmission across Africa, and Salomon and colleagues' study modeled the disease only within the heterosexual population. The model was also tailored to take into account epidemiologic, demographic, and sociologic patterns in the eastern, central/western and southern regions of Africa. Using the baseline models tailored to each region, the effects of prevention and treatment efforts were then measured. Two treatment-centered scenarios were tested in which the World Health Organization's 3 by 5 initiative (see Box 1) was achieved. In these treatment-centered scenarios, the reduction of transmissibility, the number of partners of each patient, and condom use were either optimal (reduced transmissibility, reduced partners, and increased condom use) or less than optimal. The prevention-centered scenario tested the impact of a comprehensive package of 12 prevention tools (such as VCT and peer counseling for sex workers), modeling only partial effectiveness at the population level, to reflect weaker political and social support for HIV control efforts. Finally, combined response scenarios were tested. In the first scenario, treatment efforts strengthened prevention efforts as, for example, when the availability of ART increases people's willingness to undergo testing. In the second, an emphasis on treatment led to less effective implementation of prevention efforts. Baseline projections in Salomon and colleagues' study showed that without any behavioral change or ART scale-up, the HIV/AIDS prevalence rate would remain relatively stable, but the number of new infections would increase by 52.3 million by 2020. Treatment-centered scenarios reduced the total number of new infections through 2020 by a maximum of 3 million, or 6%, while indicating that the number of AIDS deaths through 2020 would decline by 13%, to 32.4 million. A prevention-centered strategy would provide greater reductions in incidence (36%) and similar mortality reductions by 2020, but more modest mortality benefits over the next five to ten years. The scenarios in which all of these statistics were most improved, however, were those that combined both prevention and treatment efforts. In the scenario in which treatment enhanced prevention, Salomon and colleagues projected 29 million averted infections (55%) and 10 million averted deaths (27%) through the year 2020. However, if a narrow focus on treatment scale-up leads to reduced effectiveness of prevention efforts, the benefits of a combined response would be considerably smaller9 million averted infections (17%) and 6 million averted deaths (16%) (Figure 1). Combining treatment with effective prevention efforts could reduce the resource needs for treatment dramatically in the long term. In the various scenarios the numbers of people being treated in 2020 ranges from 9.2 million in a treatment-only scenario with mixed effects, to 4.2 million in a combined response with positive treatmentprevention synergies. Moving Forward The authors have demonstrated through mathematical modeling that the integration of treatment and prevention is epidemiologically sound. However, an integrated and comprehensive program (Figure 2) is not only logical but makes sense from the service delivery point of view: it can be cost-effective and ideal for the community. Effective prevention makes treatment more affordable and sustainable. Effective prevention can lead to a substantial reduction in the number of new infections and therefore ultimately will lead to a reduction in the number of people who will need treatment. The reduction of adult HIV/AIDS prevalence in Uganda from 18.5% to 6% over the last several years has reduced the number of those eventually needing treatment by nearly 68% [3]. Unless the incidence of HIV is sharply reduced, HIV treatment will not be able to keep pace with all those who will need therapy [4]. Salomon and colleagues' reaffirmation that only effective prevention will make treatment affordable is critically important. Successful treatment and care can make prevention more acceptable and effective. Widespread access to treatment could bring millions of people into health-care settings, providing new opportunities for health-care workers to deliver and reinforce HIV prevention messages and interventions [4]. Improved access to HIV testing provides an entry point to both prevention and treatment services and provides a unique opportunity to identify and target the infected, vulnerable, and uninfected with more appropriate interventions. All health-care settings, including HIV treatment sites, should deliver HIV prevention services [4]. Prevention can make treatment more accessible. The early establishment of community-based prevention services in rural Ghana was instrumental in reducing the stigma of AIDS and improving the knowledge and attitude of the community prior to the development of ART and VCT services (K. Torpey, personal communication). This process also made it easier for community and implementing agencies to identify and refer patients needing treatment services. Expanded care and prevention activities have synergistic effects. Continued effective treatment, care, and prevention programs will reduce the number of orphans and vulnerable children, reduce mother to child transmission of the virus, and improve the lives of families and the strength of communities. Integration ensures that prevention activities are not neglected. The world has a unique opportunity, as ART services are launched and expanded, to simultaneously bolster prevention efforts [4]. Experience in the United States indicates that availability of treatment can lead to increased risk behavior [5]. In addition, the improvement in the health, well-being, and longevity of people living with AIDS could increase the opportunities for HIV transmission. Integration can help reduce these potential negative impacts of treatment. Integration can provide opportunities to address vulnerable groups more effectively. A commitment to providing large-scale treatment helps to focus attention on communities at greatest risk, particularly in lower prevalence contexts. This provides an opportunity to address the prevention and treatment needs of vulnerable groups more effectively. Treatment resources can help improve infrastructure for prevention and other health services. The training of health providers and improvements in laboratory services, pharmacy, logistics, commodity management, and health information systems can benefit both treatment and prevention services. Further, in many countries, a large number of health-care workers are themselves infected. Treatment can help to preserve the lives and productivity of these critically needed AIDS prevention and treatment workers, as well as those of other health professionals. A long-term decline in AIDS deaths may be preventing new infections. The short-term decline in AIDS deaths is driven by effective care and treatment programs, but a long-term decline may be driven by the prevention of new infections. Integrated and comprehensive strategies are more likely to lead to affordable, sustainable programs. Success requires dramatic expansion of both ART and prevention. Globally, fewer than one in five people at high risk of infection have access to proven HIV prevention interventions [6] and less than 10% have access to ART [1]. Unless there is a substantial increase in commitment and resources for both prevention and ART, efforts to control HIV/AIDS and mitigate its impact will only meet with partial and limited success. In addition, to increase resources, intensified commitment is required to ensure every opportunity is taken to integrate prevention and treatment. Future analysis and debate should move from comparisons of prevention and treatment priorities to a sustained analysis of how we can reciprocally integrate and strengthen prevention and care and use every opportunity provided by one to reinforce the other. We must focus on the development of training, monitoring, and quality assurance systems that ensure that prevention and care are integrated whenever possible. The results of Salomon and colleagues' model need to be validated. Further operational research is needed to validate the findings of this study. Epidemics of overt toxicity following widespread environmental contamination from commercial toxins heralded the discovery of children's enhanced vulnerability to lead, methyl mercury, polychlorinated biphenyls (PCBs), and tobacco [1,2,3,4,5] (Box 1). Over the past three decades, researchers have found that remarkably low-level exposures to these toxins are linked with less overt symptoms of toxicityintellectual impairments, behavioral problems, spontaneous abortions, or preterm births [6,7,8,9,10,11,12,13,14, 15,16,17,18,19,20,21,22,23,24,25,26,27, 28,29,30,31,32,33,34,35,36,37,38,39,40]. Moreover, there is emerging evidence that decrements in intellectual abilities and low birth weight linked with lead or tobacco are, for a given increment of exposure, greater at lower levels than those found at higher levels [10,41,42,43]. The consequences of exposure to many other chemicals or mixtures of chemicals, such as insecticideschemicals oftentimes specifically designed to be toxicare largely unknown [33,34,35,44]. Many of these chemicals or their metabolites are routinely found in the blood and body fluids of pregnant women and children [45]. Children's Vulnerability to Environmental Toxins The developing fetus and young child is particularly vulnerable to certain environmental toxins [46,47,48,49,50]. Critical neurodevelopmental processes occur in the human central nervous system during fetal development and in the first three years of life. These processes include cortical functional differentiation, synaptogenesis, myelination, and programmed apoptosis [46]. Children's exposure to environmental toxins is insidious. Environmental toxins covertly enter a child's body transplacentally during fetal development or by direct ingestion of house dust, soil, and breastmilk and other dietary sources during early childhood [51,52,53,54,55,56]. Our ability to directly measure the actual levels of environmental chemicals in human tissues and body fluids using biologic markers (biomarkers) enables scientists to more effectively link exposures to environmental toxins with disability or disease [57]. Despite our increased knowledge of the toxicity of environmental chemicals, testing for developmental neurotoxicity (DNT) and reproductive toxicity is rarely done. DNT testing uses animal experiments to provide information on the potential functional and morphologic toxicity to the fetal nervous system that results from the mother's exposure to toxins during pregnancy and lactation. Paradoxically, DNT testing of a chemical is seldom requested, and then typically requested only if there is pre-existing evidence that it is neurotoxic. The Prevalence of Diseases and Disabilities Linked to Environmental Toxins Based on parental reports, one in six United States children has one or more developmental disabilities, from a subtle learning disability to overt behavioral or emotional disorders [58]. Exposures to environmental toxins have been linked with higher rates of mental retardation, intellectual impairment, and behavioral problems, such as conduct disorder and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder [16,17,18, 19,20,21,22,23,24,25,26,27,30,31,36,37, 38,39,40,41,42,43,59,60,61]. One in ten US babies is born preterm and about 5% have low birth weight [62,63]. Preterm birth, defined as birth at less than 37 weeks of gestation, is a major determinant of infant mortality and morbidity throughout childhood [62,63,64]. Exposures to environmental toxins such as lead, tobacco smoke, and DDT have been linked with an increased risk for spontaneous abortion, low birth weight, or preterm birth [6,9,10,13,14,15,28,32,65,66]. The rate of occurrence for many of these diseases or disabilities has been rising, as has treatment for attention deficit hyperactivity disorder and depression in children [62,63,67,68,69,70]. Multiple risk factors, including both genetic and environmental influences, interact in complex and often unknown ways to cause disease and disability in children. But efforts can be undertaken to prevent or reduce environmental exposures linked to disease without full elucidation of the underlying mechanism [71]. Thus, conducting some sort of test to identify pesticides and industrial chemicals that could cause reproductive or neurobehavioral toxicity before the chemical reaches widespread use is essential to protect pregnant women and children. Origin and Evolution of DNT Tests The process for testing potential developmental neurotoxins in laboratory animals evolved out of a series of tragic epidemics. Widespread use of the drug thalidomide during the 1950s led to an epidemic of phocomelia, an absence or deformity of limbs and other congenital defects in children exposed in utero to the drug [72]. Subsequently, in 1965, the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) developed the Teratology Guidelines. Because thalidomide induced gross defects in rabbits but not in rats, these guidelines called for toxicity tests in two species. Moreover, these guidelines focused on gross abnormalities; they did not require testing for behavioral or DNT. Following the outbreak of methyl mercury poisoning in Minamata Bay (Box 1), Japan and the United Kingdom added behavioral (DNT) guidelines to their teratology requirements in 1974 and 1975, respectively [73]. In 1978, the Collaborative Behavioral Teratology Study (CBTS) was conceived to standardize and evaluate methods for DNT testing in the US [74]. The final report was issued in 1985, and shortly thereafter, Dr. Donald Kennedy, who was then Commissioner of the FDA, supported the adoption of the CBTS recommendations. But the FDA failed to implement these recommendations after Kennedy's departure. Children's exposure to environmental toxins is insidious In 1990, the US Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) identified nine developmental neurobehavioral teratogens for both humans and animals (lead, PCBs, methyl mercury, cocaine, alcohol, phenytoin, heroin, methadone, and ionizing radiation) and developed rules for DNT testing in laboratory animals [49,50]. By 1991, the Developmental Neurotoxicity Test Guidelines (OPPTS 870.6300) had been established for use when submitting chemical data to the EPA [49]. In 1993, the National Research Council recommended that DNT data be included in the EPA's evaluations of pesticides, which include classes of chemicals specifically designed to be toxic [44]. The Precarious US Framework for Protecting Children Despite numerous attempts to upgrade the regulatory system, such as the CBTS, the framework to protect children from environmental toxins is precarious. Under current regulations, manufacturers of commercial chemicals (excluding pesticides) are not required to supply any toxicity data before selling their products. Nor are pesticide manufacturers obligated to supply basic premarket toxicity and exposure data necessary to ensure that children will be protected from exposure and potential harm from use of those pesticides. Indeed, the vast majority of chemicals have not been tested for DNT. The most basic toxicity tests in animals are lacking for 75% of the 3,000 highest production volume chemicalschemicals for which annual production exceeds 1 million pounds per year [49,75,76,77]. The US EPA has entered into an agreement with the American Chemistry Council, the chemical manufacturer's trade association, to provide basic toxicity screening tests for the high-production-volume chemicals by 2005 (http://www.epa.gov/chemrtk/volchall.htm), but this is voluntary. For new pesticides intended for use on food cropsone of the areas in which regulations are most stringentregulations require only that DNT testing be evaluated for substances already known or suspected of being toxins. Further, neurotoxicity testing need be conducted only in adult animals. The EPA acknowledges that over 140 registered pesticides are neurotoxic (i.e., specifically designed to act against pests by interfering with neurotransmitters or other processes shared by mammals and insects), but the EPA has received DNT testing using validated protocols for only nine pesticides [49,75,76,77]. There is no general requirement that pesticides or other chemicals be tested for potential DNT prior to their registration and use [49]. For pesticideswhich undergo more premarket testing than other chemicalsthe EPA has relied on a tiered system of toxicity testing. The assumption underlying this system is that positive findings on earlier, more basic tests of neurotoxicity in adult animals will trigger the EPA to request more extensive testing by manufacturers, including tests in immature animals. Unfortunately, this tiered process has failed to result in appropriate DNT testing. In 1998, an internal EPA Toxicology Working Group concluded that these triggers may not be sufficient to identify all chemicals that have the potential to produce DNT [75]. Moreover, this tiered system discourages industry from conducting testing in immature animals because the findings could necessitate further costly testing and hinder a chemical from reaching the market. The European Framework: REACH In 2001, the European Commission affirmed that the European Union's legislative framework did not provide adequate information about the adverse effects of chemicals on human health, and that when hazards were identified the regulatory agencies were slow to assess risks and to introduce measures to reduce those risks [78]. Indeed, chemical manufacturers are not required to prove that a chemical is safe before marketing it. The European Commission proposed a new regulatory framework for chemicals, REACH (Registration, Evaluation, and Authorization of Chemicals) [78,79] (Figure 1). Under REACH, chemical manufacturers would have to assume a much greater burden for showing the lack of harm from use of their products. Specifically, REACH would require both European and non-European manufacturers doing business in Europe to submit more extensive toxicity data for about 30,000 chemicals on the market, including reproductive and DNT data for those chemicals produced in highest quantity. Chemicals found to be hazardous would be subject to an authorization procedure to show that they can be used safely or that there are no safer alternatives. This registration process would not guarantee that chemicals are safe, but it is a step in the right direction. The American Chemistry Council has objections to REACH, stating that the proposed regulation is burdensome, costly, and impractical (http://www.accnewsmedia.com/site/page.asp?TRACKID=&VID=1&CID=359&DID=1256). The pharmaceutical industry used similar objections to ward off regulations before the thalidomide epidemic ushered in requirements for pharmaceutical agents to undergo extensive premarket testing in clinical trials [80]. Limitations of Existing Animal Tests for DNT The US EPA has been slower than the EU to adapt to the overwhelming evidence that low-level exposure to environmental toxins can be harmful. The EPA continues to rely heavily on data from animal (toxicity) testing conducted on only a single animal species and in adult animals. Furthermore, EPA guidelines for a general developmental toxicity screening test typically examine only crude toxicological endpoints such as death, body weight, or organ dysfunction. In contrast, the DNT includes tests of locomotor activity, acoustic startle, learning, and memory. But, as currently designed, the existing tests may miss important effects such as mood changes, impulsive behaviors, and attentional problems that in humans have been shown to result from exposures to environmental toxins [24,27,30,37,40]. While these effects might seem subtle, they can seriously interfere with a child's social and emotional well-being. It is also uncertain whether tests conducted under current EPA guidelines will detect subtle deficits in key human skills such as reading. There are other problems with relying principally on adult animals to signal the potential for DNT in humans. The structure and development of the cerebral cortex of animals commonly used in these studies differs markedly from that of humans. A chemical's effects on one type of animal may differ from its effects on other animals and on humans. In the case of thalidomide, high-dose fetal exposure had adverse morphologic effects on rabbits, but not rats; functional effects have only recently been described [81]. Although there is some concordance of human and animal data for the adverse effects of lead, mercury, and PCBs, intake limits for these compounds established exclusively on the basis of rodent studies have not been sufficiently protective of human health compared with epidemiologic studies [47]. Indeed, there is compelling evidence from epidemiologic studies of widespread contaminants such as lead, tobacco, and PCBs that human studies are essential to ensure that children are not harmed by low levels of exposure [11,12,13,14,15,16,17,18,19,20,21,22, 23,24,25,26,27,28,29,30,31,32,33,34,35, 36,37,38,39,40]. From a scientific standpoint, data from epidemiologic studies represent the gold standard for detecting subtle effects of environmental toxins on humans. But epidemiological studies are expensive to mount, difficult to execute, and take years to complete. Using observational studies to disentangle the adverse consequences of a single toxin from other environmental influences and to promulgate regulations is a difficult and painfully slow process. There is also a financial disincentive for chemical registrants to voluntarily fund such studies because a positive epidemiological study could lead to stricter regulations. More importantly, if society continues to rely on epidemiologic studies to evaluate the toxicity of chemicals only after they are marketed, many children will first be harmed. Steps to Protect Children from Environmental Toxins Children must be better protected from both new and existing chemicals that are known or possible toxins [49]. To protect children from existing toxins, such as lead, mercury, and tobacco, the US EPA and FDA need more authority and resources to regulate and reduce emissions and exposures. Under our current system, efforts to enhance regulations to protect children from confirmed toxins are costly and protracted. Indeed, countless communities across the globe suffer from widespread environmental contamination. If there is any lesson from our experience with environmental toxins, it is that we need to identify environmental chemicals that are toxic before they are marketed or widely disseminated. For new commercial chemicals, toxicity testing in animals should be required before they are marketed. For all new chemicals, including pesticides, extensive premarket testing should be required in multiple animal species of both sexes and at different developmental stages. These tests should be designed to have adequate statistical power to detect subtle differences within the ranges of exposure that occur in human populations. If implemented, these testing requirements would represent a dramatic departure from existing regulations, while providing a powerful incentive for industry to develop less toxic chemicals. Toxicity testing in animals is essential but insufficient to protect pregnant women and children. For one thing, uncertainties about the safety of a chemical for humans will persist even after toxicity testing in animals is successfully completed. One additional safeguard that deserves further debate is whether prevalent environmental chemicals to which children could be exposed should undergo more extensive testing in human trials before they are marketed. If done, these trials should examine exposure, uptake (using biomarkers), and adverse effects among children or other populations only when the product is used as intended. For example, once animal toxicity testing of a residential pesticide is complete (including DNT and reproductive toxicity testing), a pesticide could undergo further testing in the home environment. Using an experimental group and a control group, researchers would compare levels of pesticides found in settled dust, on children's hands, and in their blood, urine, or hair. Children would be followed, when indicated, to ensure that an excess of neurobehavioral problems or other relevant outcomes did not develop among those whose homes were assigned to receive the pesticide application. If such trials were undertaken, families would need to be fully informed about the purpose, potential benefits, and risks of participating. The trials should be conducted by the federal governmentor other independent entities that do not have any ties to the chemical industryand funded by an industry fee or tax. Community representatives would need to be involved in the review and approval of such trials, and ethical standards would need to be established regarding, for example, the role of data safety and monitoring boards. Many families would undoubtedly find it objectionable and would choose not to participate. Indeed, some products might never undergo testing if they failed to offer meaningful benefits to families, in which case the product would either be taken off the market or never reach the market. This type of trial sounds extreme, but it is quite rational when compared to the existing approach of disseminating a potential toxin into children's environments without any human data about exposure, uptake, or toxicity. Furthermore, under our existing system, families are neither informed nor given an option to decline involvement in what ultimately are experiments exposing millions of pregnant women and children to potential toxins. Thus, we need to thoughtfully deliberate about whether these types of trials can be done in an ethical fashion. We also need to have further debate about whether it is ethical to continue to disseminate chemicals of unknown toxicity into children's environments or to allow children to continually be exposed to prevalent toxins, like lead, despite considerable evidence that they are toxic [82]. Too often, it is left up to a few investigators or community leaders to discover and quantify the adverse effects of toxins, and advocate efforts to reduce children's exposure. Conclusion In contrast with the EU's proposed REACH program, which would require industry to conduct more tests or analyses to demonstrate that high-production chemicals will not cause harm to fetuses or children, the Bush administration has arguedin unison with the American Chemistry Councilthat such regulations would harm industry [83,84]. It is time to acknowledge that the existing requirements for toxicity testing and regulations are inadequate to safeguard pregnant women and children. Until a formal regulatory system is developed to effectively screen and identify new and existing chemicals that are toxic to pregnant women and children, we are left to await the next epidemic to warn us about an environmental disaster. Unfortunately, by then we will have once again fouled our nest [85]. Introduction Somatic gain-of-function mutations in exons encoding the epidermal growth factor receptor (EGFR) tyrosine kinase domain are found in about 10% of non-small cell lung cancers (NSCLCs) from the United States [1,2,3], with higher percentages observed in east Asia [2,4,5,6]. Some 90% of NSCLC-associated mutations occur as either multi-nucleotide in-frame deletions in exon 19, involving elimination of four amino acids, Leu-Arg-Glu-Ala, or as a single nucleotide substitution at nucleotide 2573 (TG) in exon 21, resulting in substitution of arginine for leucine at position 858 (L858R). Both of these mutations are associated with sensitivity to the small-molecule kinase inhibitors gefitinib or erlotinib [1,2,3]. Unfortunately, nearly all patients who experience marked improvement on these drugs eventually develop progression of disease. While KRAS mutations have been associated with some cases of primary resistance to gefitinib or erlotinib [7], mechanisms underlying acquired or secondary resistance are unknown. Acquired resistance to kinase-targeted anticancer therapy has been most extensively studied with imatinib, an inhibitor of the aberrant BCR-ABL kinase, in chronic myelogenous leukemia (CML). Mutations in the ABL kinase domain are found in 50%90% of patients with secondary resistance to the drug (reviewed in [8]). Such mutations, which cluster in four distinct regions of the ABL kinase domain (the ATP binding loop, T315, M351, and the activation loop), interfere with binding of imatinib to ABL [9,10,11]. Crystallographic studies of various ABL mutants predict that most should remain sensitive to inhibitors that bind ABL with less stringent structural requirements. Using this insight, new small-molecule inhibitors have been identified that retain activity against the majority of imatinib-resistant BCR-ABL mutants [12,13]. Although imatinib inhibits different kinases in various diseases (BCR-ABL in CML, KIT or PDGFR-alpha in gastrointestinal stromal tumors [GISTs], and PDGFR-alpha in hypereosinophilic syndrome [HES]) (reviewed in [14]), some tumors that become refractory to treatment with imatinib appear to have analogous secondary mutations in the kinase-coding domain of the genes encoding these three enzymes. For example, in CML, a commonly found mutation is a CT single nucleotide change that replaces threonine with isoleucine at position 315 (T315I) in the ABL kinase domain [9,10,11]. In GIST and HES, respectively, the analogous T670I mutation in KIT and T674I mutation in PDGFR-alpha have been associated with acquired resistance to this drug [15,16]. To determine whether lung cancers that acquire clinical resistance to either gefitinib or erlotinib display additional mutations in the EGFR kinase domain, we have examined the status of EGFR exons 18 to 24 in tumors from five patients who initially responded but subsequently progressed while on these drugs. These exons were also assessed in tumor cells from a sixth patient whose disease rapidly recurred while on gefitinib therapy after complete gross tumor resection. Because of the association of KRAS mutations with primary resistance to gefitinib and erlotinib [7], we also examined the status of KRAS in tumor cells from these six patients. In an effort to explain the selective advantage of cells with a newly identified resistance mutation in EGFR a T790M amino acid substitutionwe further characterized the drug sensitivity of putatively resistant EGFR mutants versus wild-type or drug-sensitive EGFR mutants, using both a NSCLC cell line fortuitously found to contain the T790M mutation and lysates from cells transiently transfected with wild-type and mutant EGFR cDNAs. Methods Tissue Procurement Tumor specimens, including paraffin blocks, fine needle biopsies, and pleural effusions, were obtained through protocols approved by the Institutional Review Board of Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center (protocol 92055 [7] and protocol 04103 [Protocol S1]). All patients provided informed consent. Mutational Analyses of EGFR and KRAS in Lung Tumors Genomic DNA was extracted from tumor specimens, and primers for EGFR (exons 1824) and KRAS2 (exon 2) analyses were as published [3,7]. All sequencing reactions were performed in both forward and reverse directions, and all mutations were confirmed at least twice from independent PCR isolates. A specific exon 20 mutation (T790M) was also detected by length analysis of fluorescently labeled (FAM) PCR products on a capillary electrophoresis device (ABI 3100 Avant, Applied Biosystems, Foster City, California, United States), based on a new NlaIII restriction site created by the T790M mutation (2369 CT), using the following primers: EGFR Ex20F, 5-FAM- CTCCCTCCAGGAAGCCTACGTGAT-3 and EGFR Ex20R 5- TTTGCGATCTGCACACACCA-3. Using serially mixed dilutions of DNA from NSCLC cell lines (H1975, L858R- and T790M-positive; H-2030, EGFR wild-type) for calibration, this assay detects the presence of the T790M mutation when H1975 DNA comprises 3% or more of the total DNA tested, compared to a sensitivity of 6% for direct sequencing (data not shown). RT-PCR The following primers were used to generate EGFR cDNA fragments spanning exon 20: EGFR 2095F 5- CCCAACCAAGCTCTCTTGAG-3 and EGFR 2943R 5- ATGACAAGGTAGCGCTGGGGG-3. PCR products were ligated into plasmids using the TOPO TA-cloning kit (Invitrogen, Carlsbad, California, United States), as per manufacturer's instructions. Minipreps of DNA from individual clones were sequenced using the T7 priming site of the cloning vector. Functional Analyses of Mutant EGFRs Two numbering systems are used for EGFR. The first denotes the initiating methionine in the signal sequence as amino acid 24. The second, used here, denotes the methionine as amino acid +1. Commercial suppliers of antibodies, such as the Y1068-specific anti-phospho-EGFR, use the first nomenclature. To be consistent, we consider Y1068 as Y1092. Likewise, the T790M mutation reported here has also been called T766M. Mutations were introduced into full-length wild-type and mutant EGFR cDNAs using a QuikChange Site-Directed Mutagenesis Kit (Stratagene, La Jolla, California, United States) and cloned into expression vectors as described [3]. The following primers were used to generate the deletion (del) L747E749;A750P mutant: forward 5- TAAAATTCCCGTCGCTATCAAGGAGCCAACATCTCCGAAAGCCAACAAGG-3 and reverse 5- CCTTGTTGGCTTTCGGAGATGTTGGCTCCTTGATAGCGACGGGAATTTTA-3. The following primers were used to introduce the T790M mutation: forward 5- AGCTCATCATGCAGCTCAT-3 and reverse 5- ATGAGCTGCATGATGAGCT-3. The L858R mutant cDNA was generated previously [3]. All mutant clones were fully re-sequenced bidirectionally to ensure that no additional mutations were introduced. Various EGFRs were transiently expressed in 293T human embryonic kidney cells as published [3]. Cells were treated with different concentrations of gefitinib or erlotinib. Immunoblotting See Methods and supplementary methods in [3] for details on cell lysis, immunoblotting, and antibody reagents. At least three independent experiments were performed for all analyses. Cell Culture The NSCLC cell lines H1650, H1975, H2030, H2347, H2444, H358, and H1734 were purchased from American Type Culture Collection (Manassas, Virginia, United States). H3255 was a gift of B. Johnson and P. Janne. Cells were grown in complete growth medium (RPMI-1640; American Type Culture Collection catalog no. 302001) supplemented with 10% fetal calf serum, 10 units/ml penicillin, and 10 g/ml streptomycin) at 37 C and 5% CO 2 . For viability studies, cells were seeded in complete growth medium in black 96-well clear bottom ViewPlates (PerkinElmer, Wellesley, Massachusetts, United States) at a density of 5,000 (H1975 and H2030) or 7,500 cells per well (H3255). Following overnight incubation, cells were grown for 24 h in the supplemented RPMI-1640 medium with 0.1% serum. Cells (in supplemented RPMI-1640 medium containing 0.1% serum) were then incubated for 48 h in the continued presence of gefitinib or erlotinib. Viability Assay Cell viability was assayed using Calcein AM (acetoxymethyl ester of Calcein, Molecular Probes, Eugene, Oregon, United States). Following incubation with gefitinib or erlotinib, monolayers were washed twice with PBS (containing calcium and magnesium) and incubated with 7.5 mol Calcein AM in supplemented RPMI-1640 (no serum) for 30 min. Labeling medium was removed, and cells were washed three times with PBS. Calcein fluorescence (Ex, 485 nm; Em, 535 nM) was detected immediately using a Victor V multi-label plate reader (PerkinElmer). Three independent experiments were performed for each cell line; each experiment included four to eight replicates per condition. Results Case Reports We identified secondary EGFR mutations in three of six individuals whose disease progressed on either gefitinib or erlotinib (Table 1). Brief case histories of these three patients are presented below. Patient 1 This 63-y-old female never smoker (smoked less than 100 cigarettes in her lifetime) initially presented with bilateral diffuse chest opacities and a right-sided pleural effusion. Transbronchial biopsy revealed adenocarcinoma. Disease progressed on two cycles of systemic chemotherapy, after which gefitinib, 250 mg daily, was started. Comparison of chest radiographs obtained prior to starting gefitinib (Figure S1A, left panel) and 2 wk later (Figure S1A, middle panel) showed dramatic improvement. Nine months later, a chest radiograph revealed progression of disease (Figure S1A, right panel). Subsequently, the patient underwent a computed tomography (CT)guided biopsy of an area in the right lung base (Figure 1A, left panel). Despite continued treatment with gefitinib, either with chemotherapy or at 500 mg daily, the pleural effusion recurred, 12 mo after initiating gefitinib (Figure 1A, right panel). Pleural fluid was obtained for molecular studies. In total, this patient had three tumor specimens available for analysis: the original lung tumor biopsy, a biopsy of the progressing lung lesion, and pleural fluid. However, re-review of the original transbronchial biopsy showed that it had scant tumor cells (Table 1). Patient 2. This 55-y-old woman with a nine pack-year history of smoking underwent two surgical resections within 2 y (right lower and left upper lobectomies) for bronchioloalveolar carcinoma with focal invasion. Two years later, her disease recurred with bilateral pulmonary nodules and further progressed on systemic chemotherapy. Thereafter, the patient began erlotinib, 150 mg daily. A baseline CT scan of the chest demonstrated innumerable bilateral nodules (Figure S1B, left panel), which were markedly reduced in number and size 4 mo after treatment (Figure S1B, middle panel). After 14 mo of therapy, the patient's dose of erlotinib was decreased to 100 mg daily owing to fatigue. At 23 mo of treatment with erlotinib, a CT scan demonstrated an enlarging sclerotic lesion in the thoracic spine. The patient underwent CT-guided biopsy of this lesion (Figure 1B, left panel), and the erlotinib dose was increased to 150 mg daily. After 25 mo of treatment, she progressed within the lung (Figure S1B, right panel). Erlotinib was discontinued, and a fluoroscopically guided core needle biopsy was performed at a site of progressive disease in the lung (Figure 1B, right panel). In total, this patient had three tumor specimens available for analysis: the original resected lung tumor, the biopsy of the enlarging spinal lesion, and the biopsy of the progressing lung lesion (Table 1). Patient 3 This 55-y-old female never smoker was treated for nearly 4.5 y with weekly paclitaxel and trastuzumab [17] for adenocarcinoma with bronchioloalveolar carcinoma features involving her left lower lobe, pleura, and mediastinal lymph nodes. Treatment was discontinued owing to fatigue. Subsequently, the patient underwent surgical resection. Because of metastatic involvement of multiple mediastinal lymph nodes and clinical features known at that time to be predictive of response to gefitinib (female, never smoker, bronchioloalveolar variant histology), she was placed on adjuvant gefitinib 1 mo later (Figure S1C, left panel). This drug was discontinued after 3 mo when she developed a new left-sided malignant pleural effusion (Figure S1C, middle panel). Despite drainage and systemic chemotherapy, the pleural effusion recurred 4 mo later (Figure S1C, right panel), at which time pleural fluid was collected for analysis. In total, this patient had two clinical specimens available for analysis: tumor from the surgical resection and pleural fluid (Table 1). Patients' Tumors Contain EGFR Tyrosine Kinase Domain Mutations Associated with Sensitivity to EGFR Tyrosine Kinase Inhibitors We screened all available tumor samples from these three patients for previously described drug-sensitive EGFR mutations, by direct DNA sequencing of exons 19 and 21 [3]. Tumor samples from patient 1 showed a TG change at nucleotide 2573, resulting in the exon 21 L858R amino acid substitution commonly observed in drug-responsive tumors. This mutation was present in the biopsy material from the progressing lung lesion (Figure S2A, upper panels) and from cells from the pleural effusion (Figure S2A, lower panels), both of which on cytopathologic examination consisted of a majority of tumor cells (Table 1). Interestingly, comparisons of the tracings suggest that an increase in copy number of the mutant allele may have occurred. Specifically, while the ratio of wild-type (nucleotide T) to mutant (nucleotide G) peaks at position 2573 was approximately 1:1 or 1:2 in the lung biopsy specimen (Figure S2A, upper panels), sequencing of DNA from the pleural fluid cells demonstrated a dominant mutant G peak (Figure S2A, lower panels). Consistent with this, a single nucleotide polymorphism (SNP) noted at nucleotide 2361 (A or G) demonstrated a corresponding change in the ratios of A:G, with a 1:1 ratio in the transbronchial biopsy, and a nearly 5:1 ratio in the pleural fluid (Figure 2A). Notably, we did not detect the 2573 TG mutation in the original transbronchial biopsy specimen (Table 1; data not shown). As stated above, this latter specimen contained scant tumor cells, most likely fewer than needed for detection of an EGFR mutation by direct sequencing (see [7]). All three specimens from patient 2, including the original lung tumor and the two metastatic samples from bone and lung, showed an exon 19 deletion involving elimination of 11 nucleotides (22382248) and insertion of two nucleotides, G and C (Figure S2B, all panels; Table 1). These nucleotide changes delete amino acids L747E749 and change amino acid 750 from alanine to proline (A750P). A del L747E749;A750P mutation was previously reported with different nucleotide changes [2]. In all samples from patient 2, the wild-type sequence predominated at a ratio of about 3:1 over the mutant sequence. Both of the available tumor samples from patient 3 contained a deletion of 15 nucleotides (22362250) in exon 19 (Table 1; data not shown), resulting in elimination of five amino acids (del E746A750). This specific deletion has been previously reported [3]. The ratio of mutant to wild-type peaks was approximately 1:1 in both specimens (data not shown). Collectively, these results demonstrate that tumors from all three patients contain EGFR mutations associated with sensitivity to the tyrosine kinase inhibitors gefitinib and erlotinib. In addition, these data show that within individual patients, metastatic or recurrent lesions to the spine, lung, and pleural fluid contain the same mutations. These latter observations support the idea that relapsing and metastatic tumor cells within individuals are derived from original progenitor clones. A Secondary Missense Mutation in the EGFR Kinase Domain Detected in Lesions That Progressed while on Treatment with Either Gefitinib or Erlotinib To determine whether additional mutations in the EGFR kinase domain were associated with progression of disease in these patients, we performed direct sequencing of all of the exons (18 through 24) encoding the EGFR catalytic region in the available tumor specimens. Analysis of patient 1's pre-gefitinib specimen, which contained scant tumor cells (Table 1; see above), not surprisingly showed only wild-type EGFR sequence (Table 1; data not shown). However, careful analysis of the exon 20 sequence chromatograms in both forward and reverse directions from this patient's lung biopsy specimen obtained after disease progression on gefitinib demonstrated an additional small peak at nucleotide 2369, suggesting a CT mutation (Figure 2A, upper panels; Table 1). This nucleotide change leads to substitution of methionine for threonine at position 790 (T790M). The 2369 CT mutant peak was even more prominent in cells from the patient's pleural fluid, which were obtained after further disease progression on gefitinib (Figure 2A, lower panels; Table 1). The increase in the ratio of mutant to wild-type peaks obtained from analyses of the lung specimen and pleural fluid paralleled the increase in the ratio of the mutant G peak (leading to the L858R mutation) to the wild-type T peak at nucleotide 2573 (see above; Figure S2A), as well as the increase in the ratio of the A:G SNP at position 2361 (Figure 2A). Collectively, these findings imply that the exon 20 T790M mutation was present on the same allele as the exon 21 L858R mutation, and that a subclone of cells harboring these mutations emerged during drug treatment. In patient 2, the tumor-rich sample obtained prior to treatment with erlotinib did not contain any additional mutations in the exons encoding the EGFR tyrosine kinase domain (Figure 2B, upper panels; Table 1). By contrast, her progressing bone and lung lesions contained an additional small peak at nucleotide 2369, suggesting the existence of a subclone of tumor cells with the same CT mutation observed in patient 1 (Figure 2B, middle and lower panels; Table 1). The relative sizes of the 2369 T mutant peaks seen in these latter two samples appeared to correlate with the relative size of the corresponding peaks of the exon 19 deletion (Figure S2B). Interestingly, the SNP at nucleotide 2361 (A or G) was detected in specimens from patient 2 before but not after treatment with erlotinib, suggesting that one EGFR allele underwent amplification or deletion during the course of treatment (Figure S2B). Patient 3 showed results analogous to those of patient 2. A tumor-rich pre-treatment specimen did not demonstrate EGFR mutations other than the del E746A750 exon 19 deletion; specifically, in exon 20, no secondary changes were detected (Figure 2C, upper panels; Table 1). However, analysis of DNA from cells in the pleural effusion that developed after treatment with gefitinib showed the CT mutation at nucleotide 2369 in exon 20 (Figure 2C, lower panels; Table 1), corresponding to the T790M mutation described above. There was no dramatic change between the two samples in the ratio of the A:G SNP at position 2361. The mutant 2369 T peak was small, possibly because gefitinib had been discontinued in this patient for 4 mo at the time pleural fluid tumor cells were collected; thus, there was no selective advantage conferred upon cells bearing the T790M mutation. To determine whether the 2369 CT mutation was a previously overlooked EGFR mutation found in NSCLCs, we re-reviewed exon 20 sequence tracings derived from analysis of 96 fresh-frozen resected tumors [3] and 59 paraffin-embedded tumors [7], all of which were removed from patients prior to treatment with an EGFR tyrosine kinase inhibitor. We did not detect any evidence of the T790M mutation in these 155 tumors (data not shown; see Discussion). Collectively, our results suggest that the T790M mutation is associated with lesions that progress while on gefitinib or erlotinib. Moreover, at least in patients 1 and 2, the subclones of tumor cells bearing this mutation probably emerged between the time of initial treatment with a tyrosine kinase inhibitor and the appearance of drug resistance. In three additional patients (case histories not described here) with lung adenocarcinomas who improved but subsequently progressed on therapy with either gefitinib or erlotinib, we examined DNA from tumor specimens obtained during disease progression. In all three patients, we found EGFR mutations associated with drug sensitivity (all exon 19 deletions). However, we did not find any additional mutations in exons 18 to 24 of EGFR, including the CT change at position 2369 (data not shown). These results imply that alternative mechanisms of acquired drug resistance exist. Patients' Progressive Tumors Lack KRAS Mutations Mutations in exon 2 of KRAS2 occur in about one-fourth of NSCLCs. Such mutations rarely, if ever, accompany EGFR mutations and are associated with primary resistance to gefitinib or erlotinib [7]. To evaluate the possibility that secondary KRAS mutations confer acquired resistance to these drugs, we performed mutational profiling of KRAS2 exon 2 from tumor specimens from patients 1 to 3, as well as the three additional patients lacking evidence of the T790M mutation. None of the specimens contained any changes in KRAS (Table 1; data not shown), indicating that KRAS mutations were not responsible for drug resistance and tumor progression in these six patients. An Established NSCLC Cell Line Also Contains Both T790M and L858R Mutations We profiled the EGFR tyrosine kinase domain (exons 18 to 24) and KRAS exon 2 in eight established NSCLC lines (Table 2). Surprisingly, one cell lineH1975contained the same CT mutation at position 2369 (T790M) as described above (Figure 2D, lower panel). This cell line had previously been shown by others to contain a 2573 TG mutation in exon 21 (L858R) [18], which we confirmed (Figure 2D, upper panel); in addition, H1975 was reported to be more sensitive to gefitinib inhibition than other lung cancer cell lines bearing wild-type EGFR [18]. Only exons 19 and 21 were apparently examined in this published study. In our own analysis of H1975 (exons 18 to 24), the mutant 2369 T peak resulting in the T790M amino acid substitution was dominant, suggesting an increase in copy number of the mutant allele in comparison to the wild-type allele. The ratio of mutant to wild-type peaks was similar to that of the mutant 2573 G (corresponding to the L858R amino acid substitution) to wild-type T peaks (Figure 2D, all panels), implying that the T790M and L858R mutations were in the same amplified allele. To further investigate this possibility, we performed RT-PCR to generate cDNAs that spanned exon 20 of EGFR and included sequences from exon 19 and 21. PCR products were then cloned, and individual colonies were analyzed for EGFR mutations. Sequencing chromatograms of DNA from four of four clones showed both the 2369 CT and 2573 TG mutations, confirming that both mutations were in the same allele (data not shown). Other NSCLC cell lines carried either EGFR or KRAS mutations, but none had both (Table 2). As reported, H3255 contained an L858R mutation [19] and H1650 contained an exon 19 deletion [18]. No other cell lines analyzed contained additional mutations in the exons encoding the EGFR tyrosine kinase domain. A Novel PCR Restriction Fragment Length Polymorphism Assay Independently Confirms the Absence or Presence of the T790M Mutation As stated above, the mutant peaks suggestive of a T790M mutation in exon 20 were small in some sequence chromatograms. To eliminate the possibility that these peaks were due to background noise, we sought to confirm the presence of the 2369 CT mutation in specific samples, by developing an independent test, based on a fluorescence detection assay that takes advantage of a PCR restriction fragment length polymorphism (PCR-RFLP) generated by the specific missense mutation. After PCR amplification with exon-20-specific primers spanning nucleotide 2369, wild-type sequence contains specific NlaIII sites, which upon digestion yield a 106-bp product (see Methods; Figure 3A). Presence of the mutant 2369 T nucleotide creates a new NlaIII restriction digest site, yielding a slightly shorter product (97 bp), readily detected by fluorescent capillary electrophoresis. This test is about 2 -fold more sensitive than direct sequencing (see Methods; data not shown). We first used DNA from the H1975 cell line (which contains both T790M and L858R mutations) to confirm the specificity of the PCR-RFLP assay. As expected, analysis of these cells produced both the 97- and 106-bp fragments. By contrast, analysis of DNA from H2030 (which contains wild-type EGFR; Table 2) showed only the 106-bp fragment (Figure 3A). These data show that this test can readily indicate the absence or presence of the mutant allele in DNA samples. However, this test was only semi-quantitative, as the ratio of the mutant 97-bp product versus the wild-type 106-bp product varied in independent experiments from approximately 1:1 to 2:1. We next used this PCR-RFLP assay to assess various patient samples for the presence of the specific 2369 CT mutation corresponding to the T790M amino acid substitution. DNA from the progressing bone and lung lesions in patient 1 produced both the 97- and 106-bp fragments, but DNA from the original lung tumor did not (Figure 3B). The ratio of mutant to wild-type products was higher in the cells from the pleural fluid, consistent with the higher peaks seen on the chromatograms from direct sequencing of exon 20 (see Figure 2A). Likewise, DNA from progressive lesions from patients 2 and 3 yielded both 97- and 106-bp fragments in the PCR-RFLP assay (Figure 3B), whereas the pre-treatment specimens did not produce the 97-bp product. Collectively, these data from an independent assay confirm that the T790M mutation was present in progressing lesions from all three patients. We were also unable to detect the T790M mutation in any specimens from the three additional patients with acquired resistance that failed to demonstrate secondary mutations in EGFR exons 18 to 24 by direct sequencing (data not shown). Biochemical Properties of EGFR Mutants To determine how the T790M mutation would affect EGFR proteins already containing mutations associated with sensitivity to EGFR tyrosine kinase inhibitors, we introduced the specific mutation into EGFR cDNAs that encoded the exon 21 and 19 mutations found in patients 1 and 2, respectively. Corresponding proteins ([i] L858R and L858R plus T790M, [ii] del L747E749;A750P and del L747E749;A750P plus T790M, and [iii] wild-type EGFR and wild-type EGFR plus T790M) were then produced by transient transfection with expression vectors in 293T cells, which have very low levels of endogenous EGFR [3]. Various lysates from cells that were serum-starved and pre-treated with gefitinib or erlotinib were analyzed by immunoblotting. Amounts of total EGFR (t-EGFR) were determined using an anti-EGFR monoclonal antibody, and actin served as an indicator of relative levels of protein per sample. To assess the drug sensitivity of the various EGFR kinases in surrogate assays, we used a Y1092-phosphate-specific antibody (i.e., phospho-EGFR [p-EGFR]) to measure the levels of autophosphorylated Tyr-1092 on EGFR in relation to levels of t-EGFR protein. We also assessed the global pattern and levels of induced tyrosine phosphorylation of cell proteins by using a generalized anti-phosphotyrosine reagent (RC-20). Gefitinib inhibited the activity of wild-type and L858R EGFRs progressively with increasing concentrations of drug, as demonstrated by a reduction of tyrosine-phosphorylated proteins (Figure 4A) and a decrease in p-EGFR:t-EGFR ratios (Figure 4B). By contrast, wild-type and mutant EGFRs containing the T790M mutation did not display a significant change in either phosphotyrosine induction or p-EGFR:t-EGFR ratios (Figure 4A and 4B). Similar results were obtained using erlotinib against wild-type and del E747L747;A750P EGFRs in comparison to the corresponding mutants containing the T790M mutation (Figure 4C). These results suggest that the T790M mutation may impair the ability of gefitinib or erlotinib to inhibit EGFR tyrosine kinase activity, even in EGFR mutants (i.e., L858R or an exon 19 deletion) that are clinically associated with drug sensitivity. Resistance of a NSCLC Cell Line Harboring Both T790M and L858R Mutations to Gefitinib or Erlotinib To further explore the functional consequences of the T790M mutation, we determined the sensitivity of various NSCLC cells lines grown in the presence of either gefitinib or erlotinib, using an assay based upon Calcein AM. Uptake and retention of this fluorogenic esterase substrate by vehicle- versus drug-treated live cells allows for a comparison of relative cell viability among cell lines [20]. The H3255 cell line, which harbors the L858R mutation and no other EGFR TK domain mutations (Table 2), was sensitive to treatment with gefitinib, with an IC 50 of about 0.01 mol (Figure 5). By contrast, the H1975 cell line, which contains both L858R and T790M mutations (Table 2), was approximately 100-fold less sensitive to drug, with an IC 50 of about 1 mol (Figure 5). In fact, the sensitivity of H1975 cells was more similar to that of H2030, which contains wild-type EGFR (exons 18 to 24) and mutant KRAS (Figure 5). Very similar results were obtained with erlotinib (Figure S3). Discussion Specific mutations in the tyrosine kinase domain of EGFR are associated with sensitivity to either gefitinib or erlotinib, but mechanisms of acquired resistance have not yet been reported. Based upon analogous studies in other diseases with another kinase inhibitor, imatinib, a single amino acid substitution from threonine to methionine at position 790 in the wild-type EGFR kinase domain was predicted to lead to drug resistance, even before the association of exon 19 and 21 mutations of EGFR with drug responsiveness in NSCLC was reported. The T790M mutation was shown in vitro in the context of wild-type EGFR to confer resistance to gefitinib [21] and a related quinazoline inhibitor, PD153035 [22]. We show here, through molecular analysis of tumor material from three patients and one NSCLC cell line, as well as additional biochemical studies, that acquired clinical drug resistance to gefitinib or erlotinib is indeed associated with the T790M mutation. Importantly, we find that the T790M mutation confers drug resistance not just to wild-type EGFR but also to mutant EGFRs associated with clinical responsiveness to EGFR tyrosine kinase inhibitors [1,2,3]. Our results further demonstrate that an analogous mechanism of acquired resistance exists for imatinib and EGFR tyrosine kinase inhibitors (Table 3), despite the fact that the various agents target different kinases in distinct diseases. In tumors from patients not treated with either gefitinib or erlotinib, the 2369 CT mutation (T790M) appears to be extremely rare. We have not identified this mutation in 155 tumors (see above), and among nearly 1,300 lung cancers in which analysis of EGFR exons 18 to 21 has been performed [1,2,3,4,5,6], only one tumor (which also harbored an L858R mutation) was reported to contain the T790M mutation. Whether the patient from which this tumor was resected had received gefitinib or erlotinib is unclear, and the report did not note an association with acquired resistance to either drug [5]. How tumor cells bearing the T790M mutation emerge within gefitinib- or erlotinib-treated patients is a matter of investigation. Subclones bearing this mutation could arise de novo during treatment . However, based upon analogous studies in CML, it is also possible that NSCLC subclones bearing this secondary mutation pre-exist within the primary tumor clone in individual patients, albeit at low frequency [23]. In either scenario, treatment with gefitinib or erlotinib subsequently allows these resistant subclones to become apparent, because most cells bearing sensitivity-conferring mutations die, while cells with the T790M mutation persist. From analysis of the crystal structure of the EGFR kinase domain bound to erlotinib, it is has been shown that the wild-type threonine residue at position 790 is located in the hydrophobic ATP-binding pocket of the catalytic region, where it forms a critical hydrogen bond with the drug [24]. The related compound, gefitinib, is predicted to interact with this threonine residue as well. Substitution of the threonine at position 790 by a larger residue like methionine would probably result in steric clash with the aromatic moieties on these two drugs [25]. By contrast, ATP would likely not depend on the accessibility of the same hydrophobic cavity and is therefore probably not affected by the incorporation of a bulky methionine side chain [25]. Consistent with this, the T790M mutation has been shown not to abrogate the catalytic activity of wild-type EGFR [22]. The T790M mutation could also affect the kinase activity or alter the substrate specificity of mutant EGFRs, such that a proliferative advantage would be conferred upon cells bearing the mutation. Consistent with this, the H1975 NSCLC cell line reported here to contain both T790M and L858R did not to our knowledge undergo any prior treatment with gefitinib or erlotinib; the doubly mutated cells must have become dominant over time through multiple passages in vitro. This scenario could explain the seemingly contradictory report by others who found the H1975 cell line to be highly sensitive to gefitinib [18]; our H1975 cells could represent a subclone that emerged over time. Analysis of earlier passages of H1975 cells for the T790M mutation would be informative in this regard. Recently, new small-molecule inhibitors have been identified that retain activity against the majority of imatinib-resistant BCR-ABL mutants. The new drugs bind to ABL in an open conformation, as opposed to imatinib, which binds ABL in a closed conformation [12,13]. Analogously, it may be possible to find EGFR tyrosine kinase inhibitors that bind to the EGFR kinase domain in different ways than gefitinib and erlotinib. For example, the crystal structure of another EGFR inhibitor, lapatinib (GW572016), was recently solved bound to EGFR [26]. This study revealed that the quinazoline rings of erlotinib and lapatinib interact differently with the EGFR kinase domain, suggesting that while the T790M mutation may affect inhibition by erlotinib and gefitinib, it may not affect inhibition of EGFR by compounds similar to lapatinib. To our knowledge, no NSCLC patient who initially responded to but then progressed on either gefitinib or erlotinib has yet been treated with lapatinib. In some of the patient specimens analyzed, the actual sequencing peaks demonstrating the T790M mutation were smaller than originally anticipated. These results differ from those of acquired resistance mutation in CML [10], GIST [15,27], and HES [16]. However, in contrast to all of these diseases, in which tumor cells are readily accessible, lung-cancer-related tumors are more difficult to access, as illustrated by the limited manner in which we were able to obtain tumor cells from various sites of disease (see Figure 1). Moreover, re-biopsy of patients with lung cancer is not routinely performed. The use of position emission tomography scans to identify the most metabolically active lesions for biopsy could possibly circumvent this factor in the future, as long as such lesions are resectable. Additionally, as more molecularly tailored treatment options become available for lung cancer, re-biopsy of progressive sites of disease should become a standard procedure, especially for patients on clinical trials of targeted agents. Since tumor specimens from three additional patients with acquired resistance to EGFR tyrosine kinase inhibitors did not demonstrate the T790M mutation, this specific lesion does not account for all mechanisms of acquired resistance to gefitinib or erlotinib. Given the paradigm established with imatinib, other drug-resistance mutations in EGFR, either within or outside the tyrosine kinase domain, are likely to exist. It is also possible that EGFR amplification itself plays a role in acquired resistance, since imatinib-resistant clones have been shown to lack resistance mutations but contain amplified copies of BCR-ABL [11,28]. Nonetheless, studies presented here provide a basis for the rational development of second generation kinase inhibitors for use in NSCLC. Supporting Information Accession Numbers The LocusLink (http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/LocusLink/) accession number for the KRAS2 sequence discussed in this paper is 3845; the GenBank (http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/Genbank/) accession number for the KRAS2 sequence discussed in this paper is NT_009714.16. Reference EGFR sequence was obtained from LocusLink accession number 1956 and GenBank accession number NT_033968. We appreciate the note from Drs. Koudinov and Berezov [1]. In our opinion, no model has yet been presented that plausibly accounts for all the data on statins, cholesterol, amyloid- protein (A), and Alzheimer disease. In our paper [2], we present evidence that the isoprenoid pathway contributes to statin-activated shedding of the APP ectodomain in cultured cells. We do not yet know which (if any) other cholesterol-related Alzheimer phenomena are also attributable to modulation of isoprenoids, Rho, or ROCK. Previously, conventional wisdom held that A load and hypercholesterolemia were directly related, based on observations that high-fat diet aggravated amyloid pathology in plaque-forming mice [3,4,5]. More recently, however, the formulation that statins act simply via cholesterol-lowering fails to account for several observations that cannot immediately be reconciled, either with the original dogma or with each other. First, Fagan et al. [6] questioned the role of cholesterol as the final common pathway in A load specification, since, in their experiments, low cholesterol per se apparently had no impact on brain A load in plaque-forming transgenic mice. Then, equally puzzling pharmacological data emerged. Atorvastatin was shown to lower brain amyloid load and A levels, but brain cholesterol levels were unaffected by the drug [7]. In an apparent complete contradiction with the original observations, now, some investigators have been able to devise circumstances under which there is an inverse relationship between cholesterol and A, with low neuronal cholesterol increasing A generation [8], and vice versa [9]. These newer observations are unexpected and extremely puzzling, and no comprehensive explanation has yet emerged. For those readers seeking an update on this challenging area, we would direct your attention to the Alzheimer Research Forum Web page (http://www.alzforum.org/new/detailprint.asp?id=1135), where you will find an excellent review of the literature as well as a series of evaluations of how our data fit into existing scenarios and models regarding cholesterol, statins, cerebral amyloidosis, and the cognitive failure of Alzheimer disease. The prevalence of asthma and allergy has risen in all industrialized countries during recent decades, and there is much debate about exposure to pets in early life and later development of asthma and allergy. Some studies have suggested that keeping pets actually protects against later allergyi.e., that early exposure may somehow modify an individual's immune system to tolerate specific antigens. What might be the mechanism for such protection against allergy? One theory of how allergies arise is that an imbalance in T helper cell subtypes tips the body's immune response towards overreacting to a particular antigen. There is some evidence that early exposure to high natural levels of cat allergens can prevent such an inappropriate immune response. Other researchers have suggested that normally immune responses are kept under control by another group of T cellsregulatory T cells. The two mechanisms may be linked, since exposure to high levels of cat allergens may induce regulatory T cells. Various attempts to modify aberrant immune responses to specific allergens, such as those to cat dander, have been made. Investigators have treated patients with related molecules, either peptides derived from the allergen itself, or much smaller peptides produced synthetically. Although therapy with peptides seems to reduce allergic responses, the mechanism of the response to treatment has not been clear, in particular, exactly which cells, cell surface markers, and cytokines are involved in modifying the immune response. In a paper in this month's PLoS Medicine , Mark Larch and colleagues have attempted to dissect out this pathway in a group of individuals with asthma and allergy to cats. They treated the individuals with short synthetic peptides derived from the sequence of the major cat allergen, Felis domesticus allergen 1, and then measured the clinical and immunological response to allergen. They found that treatment with the peptides led to the induction of a population of T cells that were capable of suppressing the proliferation of allergen-reactive T cells in vitro. Peptide treatment also resulted in increased levels of a molecule called CD5 on the surface of blood T cellsCD5 has recently been associated with suppressing T cell sensitivity to stimulation. Finally, the authors found that the degree of suppression was not related to the amount of peptide given to the patients. Where does this finding leave patients who might wonder about exposure to cats and the development of allergy? The simple answer is that we do not know exactly how exposure to antigen triggers either an immune reaction or tolerance. Once triggered, an immune reaction to a cat may be hardthough not impossibleto reverse, but how or why a specific individual becomes sensitized is as yet far from clear. There are 300 million cases of malaria each year worldwide, causing one million deaths. Around 90% of these deaths occur in Africa, mostly in young children. One of the greatest challenges facing Africa in the fight against malaria is drug resistance; resistance to chloroquine (CQ), the cheapest and most widely used antimalarial, is common throughout Africa, and resistance to sulfadoxine-pyrimethamine (SP), the first-developed and least expensive alternative to CQ, is also increasing in eastern and southern Africa. These trends have forced many countries to change their treatment policies and use more expensive drugs, including drug combinations that will hopefully slow the development of resistance. One avenue of research is to identify combinations that minimize gametocyte emergence in treated cases and prevent selective transmission of parasites resistant to any of the partner drugs. In this month's PLoS Medicine Colin Sutherland and colleagues tested two leading combination therapies in children with uncomplicated malaria. One regimen was an artemisinin-based combination consisting of artemether and lumefantrine (co-artemether, trade names CoArtem and Riamet). The other was a combination of CQ and SPcurrently under consideration in several African countries, largely due to its low cost. In this randomized, controlled trial, 497 children with acute uncomplicated falciparum malaria were given either a combination of CQ and SP or six doses of co-artemether (91 received CQ/SP and 406 received co-artemether), and their blood was tested for infectivity to mosquitoes seven days after treatment. During follow up at seven, 14, and 28 days the team found that children treated with co-artemether were significantly less likely to carry gametocytes in their blood than children treated with CQ and SP7.9% compared with 48.8%. Altogether, the six-dose regimen of co-artemether was highly effective at reducing the prevalence and duration of gametocyte carriage. The numbers of gametocytes and the infectiousness to mosquitoes at day 7 were also reduced compared to a combination of CQ and SP, said the authors. Other studies have already shown the potential of co-artemether combination therapy to both cure malaria and reduce gametocyte carriage, acknowledged the authors. However, this study is the first to demonstrate the treatment's potential to markedly reduce the infectiousness of patients to mosquitoes, and has done so in a sub-Saharan African setting with highly seasonal transmission and where asymptomatic infections are common. Do the results mean co-artemether should be introduced as a first-line treatment for malaria in Africa? The authors are hesitant and suggest there might be compliance issues with the six-dose regimen. The requirement of oily food for adequate absorption might also lead to inadequate drug levels in the blood of many treated individuals. The authors suggest that co-artemether as a first-line treatment is not likely to reduce overall transmission of Plasmodium falciparum within the community but rather would reduce selective transmission of resistant parasites in treated patients. Hence, co-artemether could have a public health benefit by reducing the impact of drug resistance. Compared with malaria, dengue fever has a rather lower profile in the public mind, although to those who have had it, it leaves a great impression. The name dengue fever is derived from the Swahiliwords Ki denga pepo (it is a sudden overtaking by an evil spirit), which gives an idea of the rapid onset of the disease. The dengue virus is carried by the mosquito Aedes aegypti , and the disease often occurs as epidemics. Although the classic illness is a fairly benign acute febrile syndrome, it may be very painfulhence the English nickname, breakbone fever. The virus can also cause a much more serious illness known as dengue hemorrhagic fever, which can progress to dengue shock syndrome. There are four main serotypes of the dengue RNA virus; dengue hemorrhagic fever is more likely to occur during dengue infection in people with preexisting active or passive (e.g., maternally acquired) immunity who are exposed to a different dengue virus serotype. In contrast to classic dengue, the hemorrhagic fever and shock syndromes are mostly diseases of children and, if untreated, have a mortality of around 50%. Around two-fifths of the world's population are now at risk of the disease (one estimate is that 80 million people are infected each year). The number at risk will increase as population growth, urbanization, international travel, and climate change influence transmission of the disease. Understanding how all these factors interact is important in planning for disease outbreaks. However, the incidence of dengue is not easily predictable, varying with season, and also between years. For example, although dengue is most prevalent in the wet season, dengue epidemics have also been associated with drought in some countries. El Nio is the best known climatic event affecting climate between years, and some research already suggests that there is a relationship between the timing of dengue epidemics and El Nio in the Pacific Islands and in other countries. Previous research has uncovered traveling waves of dengue in Thailand, but the cause of these has been obscure. In a paper in this month's PLoS Medicine Bernard Cazelles and colleagues looked at the details of the relationship between dengue incidence and El Nio in Thailand. Their results, based on complex mathematical analysis, do not provide easy answers for those who might want to plan for dengue outbreaks, though they do go some way to helping to understand the complex interplay between the various factors. In essence, the researchers found that there was a significant association between El Nio oscillations, climate variables, and dengue hemorrhagic fever incidence with a 2- to 3-year repeat, for both Bangkok and the rest of Thailand. However this association was significant only for the years 19861992, and outside these years factors other than climate were probably responsible for triggering the disease outbreaks. As cells specialize during development they pass through different levels of differentiation, from the earliest stem cells through to the highly specialized types that make up the body's organs. Hence, a number of different tissues may derive from common precursors. For example, muscle, fat, cartilage, and bone are all derived from a group of mesenchymal precursor cells that originate in the paraxial mesoderm. So pluripotent (i.e., able to differentiate into any cell type) human embryonic stems cells are potentially a starting point for the regeneration of all types of diseased or damaged organs (and already researchers have shown that it is possible to stimulate human embryonic stem cells to differentiate into specific cell types such as neural or hematopoietic cells). The isolation of intermediate multipotent stem cells (which can differentiate into a limited number of cell types) may also be valuable. For example, the production of an unlimited supply of mesenchymal precursors would be very useful, not only for the understanding of how cells differentiate, but also for eventual practical application. In this month's PLoS Medicine , Lorenz Studer and colleagues from the Sloan-Kettering Institute in New York describe a protocol for deriving mesenchymal precursors, which they then show are capable of differentiating into specialized cell types. They used two undifferentiated stem cell linesfrom the 22 lines that were approved in 2001 by President Bush for use in federally funded research in the United States. The specifications for approval for these lines are clearsee the guidelines at http://stemcells.nih.gov/research/registry/eligibilityCriteria.asp. The number of human embryonic stem cell lines available for researchers are strictly limited, making it necessary to develop protocols that expand these cells along various lineages. In order to differentiate the cells into mesenchymal precursors, the stem cell lines were cocultured with mouse feeder cells to produce five different polyclonal lines. The authors then cultured these polyclonal precursors with appropriate tissue-specific stimulation in attempt to produce fat, bone, cartilage, or muscle cells. The evidence that the authors provide for these cells being differentiated includes analysis of gene expression, surface antigens, and immunocytochemistry typical of the mature tissues. For example, the authors were able to show the presence of fat granules in adipocytes, calcium in the matrix of osteogenic cells, and collagen in chondrocytes. It was harder to produce muscle cells, but even these types of cells could eventually be induced by specific culture conditions. What are the possible concerns about these types of studies? One obvious one is the potential for residual undifferentiated cells to turn into tumors, but the authors tested the differentiated cell cultures for cell surface markers characteristic of undifferentiated cells and found no evidence of them. Another worry for the use of these cells directly in humans is the need, at least at the beginning, to culture the cells with mouse feeder cellsobviously no human treatment could contain cells contaminated with mouse cells. Further development of protocols will be needed to address this issue. However, as the authors comment, the high purity, unlimited availability, and multipotentiality of hESMPCs [human embryonic stem cellderived mesenchymal precursor cells] will provide the basis for future therapeutic efforts using these cells in preclinical animal models of disease. In addition, the techniques described here will provide a very useful resource for studying mesenchymal cell development. A year ago, I received an E-mail from a research scientist at a major pharmaceutical company. The scientist had read my articles on whistleblowers who had raised concerns about the undue influence of the pharmaceutical industry on American medicine My industry source had information for me about drug company practices, butout of fear of career ruinwould only talk on the condition that I would conceal the scientist's identity. For the next year or so, I had repeated contacts with the scientist. As I listened to this researcherand to the other medical whistleblowers that I continued to interviewit occurred to me that each whistleblower was like the proverbial blind man with a hand on the elephant. Each could describe one piece of the puzzle, but the full picture could only emerge by bringing these whistleblowers together. With an eye to focusing on the systemic problems that have allowed American medicine to be unduly influenced by industry, on May 15, 2005, I brought together five whistleblowers in Washington, D. C. I asked them each to tell their story and to suggest ways to restore objectivity to medicine and medical research. The Whistleblowers Four whistleblowers attended in person, and the anonymous industry scientist participated via speakerphone. The whistleblowers came from an extraordinary variety of different professional backgrounds. David Graham This Food and Drug Administration (FDA) safety officer raised concerns about the cardiovascular side effects of rofecoxib (Vioxx) and other Cox-2 inhibitors. He testified at a United States Senate Finance Committee hearing on rofexocib, the FDA, and Merck [1,2]. Graham attended the roundtable in his own personal capacity and was not representing the FDA. Each whistleblower was like the proverbial blind man with a hand on the elephant. Allen Jones This investigator at the Pennsylvania Office of the Inspector General led an investigation into an off-the-books account, funded in part by drug companies, from which payments were made to state employees to develop a medication treatment algorithm. He filed a civil rights lawsuit against the Pennsylvania Office of the Inspector General to protect his right to publicly discuss his findings, and was later fired from his job for talking to the press [36]. Stefan Kruszewski This Harvard-trained psychiatrist was hired by the Bureau of Program Integrity in the Pennsylvania Department of Public Welfare to oversee the state's mental health and substance misuse programs. He filed a law suit in a federal court in the Middle District of Pennsylvania, charging that he was fired after uncovering widespread abuse and fraud in the bureau [7,8]. Kathleen Slattery-Moschkau This former drug representative left the pharmaceutical industry after witnessing marketing practices that she found disturbing. She wrote and directed the movie Side Effects , a fictionalized account of her experiences [9,10]. The anonymous research scientist This is an industry insider who said to me, ahead of the roundtable, that the culture of secrecy at drug companies too often results in claims that are closer to propaganda than science. Lessons Learned from the Roundtable Ties between drug regulators and industry may influence new drug approval David Graham described the frustrations he had felt in his almost 20 years of experience as an FDA drug safety officer. Although he was instrumental, he said, in getting ten drugs off the market because of safety concerns, his experience was like a salmon swimming upstreama single individualagainst the tide. The tide, he said, is an entire institution whose mission is to approve drugs and make industry happy. The FDA, said Graham, is in a collaborative relationship with industry. The FDA gets money from drug companies through the Prescription Drug User Fee Act of 1992 (see http://www.fda.gov/cber/pdufa.htm) to approve new drugs and approve them more quickly. The mindset at the FDA, he said, is that we will find a reason to approve a drug no matter how small the indication for the drug. Graham explained that a senior official at the FDA had told him: industry is our client. When the FDA knows there is a serious problem with a new drug, he said, the FDA deals with this by saying, well, we'll handle it in labeling even though, said Graham, FDA knows labeling doesn't work. There is no independent voice for drug safety in the United States, he said. The upper-level managers in the FDA's Office of Drug Safety are appointed from the FDA's Office of New Drugs, which approves new medicines. This makes the Office of Drug Safety captive, he said, to the Office of New Drugs. The anonymous scientist said that in order to speed up drug approval, companies don't measure things like whether we are really curing the disease, or prolonging life, or preventing hospitalization, or whether a patient is truly more functional. Oftentimes, we're measuring intermediate, lesser things, markers, predictorswe hope of these clinical endpoints, but they may or may not be accurate. And the FDA, said the scientist, requires just two positive studies to grant approval to a new drug, but there is no limitation on how many negative studies can be done before one or two positive studies are produced. This can lead to approval of a drug even when most studies are negative or show no effect. Both Graham and the anonymous scientist suggested putting an end to the Prescription Drug User Fee Act, and Graham argued that there needs to be independent authority for those in charge of drug safety. They indicated that two bills in Congress, introduced by Senator Grassley and by Congressman Hinchey, at least partly address these concerns. The pharmaFDA complex has to be dismantled, said Graham, and the American people have to insist on that, otherwise we're going to have disasters like Vioxx that happen in the future. The race to approve new drugs without proper safety testing may be compromising the public's health Drug companies assiduously avoid acquiring information about side effects, said the industry scientist. Drug companies will not conduct safety studies unless they have tomeaning basically that they're required by a regulatorand that rarely happens. High-risk patients who might have a bad reaction to a drug, said the scientist, are excluded from studies deliberately, even though, when the drug is approved, these patients will be targeted for sales. When a safety study is proposed within the industry, said the scientist, a typical response will be that if we conducted a study to find out if there was a safety problem, people would learn about it and think we had a problem [which] would destroy the image of safety that has been so carefully constructed. There is no independent voice for drug safety in the United States. Studies are too small and are conducted over too brief a period to properly assess safety: The largest studiesthe phase three studies, [which] might be several thousand peoplelast for a few months. If drugs kill one in several thousand per year, this would be a public health catastrophe. A blockbuster drug with that kind of hazard associated with it could be associated with tens of thousands of deaths a year, and it would never be detected in studies of the kind that we routinely submit and are the basis for approval. These drugs, said the scientist, and these kinds of risks, are essentially out there now, unlabeled, unnoticed, all beneath the radar. The scientist said that, to ensure that safety problems will go unnoticed, we compound the problem of conducting small studies by setting a statistical threshold for acknowledging the safety problem that is so high that you know in advance it could never be reached for any serious side effect, like myocardial infarction. This practice, said the scientist, virtually ensures that if a bad side effect happens to show up, it's not going to reach the arbitrary level that we call statistically significant, and the company can maintain that it's just bad luck. And if a bad result does happen, typically a company is not going to publish the study at all. If they do publish it, the bad result can be omitted as not statistically important. The funding of state officials by industry may be affecting prescribing patterns Allen Jones described how he believed that drug companies were acting at the state level to influence the prescribing of psychiatric medications. I began to investigate an account into which pharmaceutical companies were paying money that was being accessed by state employees, he said. Additionally, I found that various pharmaceutical companies were paying state employees directlyalso giving them trips, perks, lavish meals, transportation, honorariums up to $2,000 for speaking in their official capacities at drug company events. They were given unrestricted educational grants that were deposited into an off-the-books accountunregistered, unmonitored, literally operated out of a drawer. These same state officials, he said, were responsible for dictating clinical policy and writing guidelines for the treatment of patients in the state system. These officials were, he said, receiving money from companies with a stake in the guidelines. The protocol they [the officials] were developing was called the Texas Medication Algorithm Project, TMAP, which began in Texas in the mid-90s. It outlined detailed medication guidelines for schizophrenia, depression, and bipolar disorder. It recommends almost exclusive usage of newer, patented, very expensive atypical antipsychotics, SSRIs [selective serotonin uptake inhibitors], and mood stabilizers. The Texas Medication Algorithm Project, said Jones, was based on expert consensus from industry-supported meetings. Jones said that when he wanted to investigate these findings, he was shut down. I was told point black, Look, drug companies write checks to politicians, they write checks to politicians on both sides of the aisleback off. He was told, he said, to quit being a salmon, quit swimming against a stream. He wouldn't back down from his investigation, he said, and was demoted. On November 22, 2002, he filed a civil rights lawsuit to preserve my job and my right to speak out. His employer, he said, took him off investigative duties altogether. Stefan Kruszewski, who has filed a law suit in a federal court in Pennsylvania, raised concerns to his seniors in the Pennsylvania Department of Public Welfare about prescribing practices in the state that he did not feel were evidence based, and said he lost his job for raising his concerns. For example, he alerted his seniors to the off-label prescribing of the anticonvulsant gabapentin (Neurontin) for mood disorders and addictive disorders. The pharmaceutical industry is the single most powerful lobbying group on Capitol Hilloutspending even the oil and banking industries, said Jones. It should come as no surprise that the ties go far beyond just the mental health officials who wrote the guidelines, but extend to many of the politicians who, in the end, allowed an investigation into pharma corruption to be dropped, and the investigatormeto be fired. Efforts to detect and deter fraud and abuse due to these conflicts, he said, will be likely to be undermined as long as those charged with detecting fraud and abuse, like the [Pennsylvania] Inspector General, are appointed by politicians who are themselves beholden to the drug industry. Such positions should instead be filled by career civil servants and not political appointees. Regulatory agencies are not being held accountable In comments that echoed his testimony to the US Senate Finance Committee, Graham said that, FDA was the single greatest obstacle to doing anything effective with Vioxx. As a result, nearly 60,000 people probably died from that drug. That's as many of our soldiers that were killed in the Vietnam war [who] died as a result of Vioxx use. And FDA had the opportunity, the responsibility, to stop that and didn't. In fact, FDA allowed it to continue. In my book, FDA shares in the responsibility for those deaths and yet it's not being held accountable by Congress. Congress itself, added Graham, is deeply beholden to the drug industry since many politicians receive often quite a bit of campaign contributions from the industry. Kruszewski reflected upon the problems he said he had encountered in Pennsylvania, saying that there is no accountability in the system for oversight [agencies]. He has become a stronger advocate than ever for a federal patient bill of rights. Marketing departments can influence doctors prescribing habits The research scientist said that the job was attractive because of the many excellent drugs developed, such as drugs to treat HIV, but the scientist also saw drugs marketed in a way that will exaggerate the benefits and conceal the risks. Kathleen Slattery-Moschkau gave an insider's view of drug marketing practices, from her former experiences as a drug rep. She clutched her head in disbelief as she told the roundtable that doctors would come up to her with patients' charts asking her for advice on treating patients. Slattery-Moschkau, like most of the drug representatives she came to know over the years, had no science background at all. Drug companies assiduously avoid acquiring information about side effects. The various techniques drug representatives were trained in to educate doctors eventually proved to be not just comical but also scary, she said. Whether it was hiring, training, what we were told to say about drugs and what we were told not to say, it was marketing, not science, that dominated. One of the techniques used by drug companies was to buy doctors' prescribing records so drug representatives knew to the dime what drugs doctors were prescribing and could tailor their marketing to them. Drug representatives developed personality profiles on doctors and were taught to pitch their sales to specific personality types. Representatives were compensated, she said, by how many prescriptions we could encourage. Both Slattery-Moschkau and the industry scientist described tensions within drug companies between marketing departments and industry scientists. The marketing spin on things, said the scientist, carries the day. The published medical literature contains many biases When studies are published, said the scientist, they are frequently written not by the trained research scientist, who might have designed and analyzed the study, but by a designated medical writer with little if any background in research, but who is trained instead to craft the findings of the study in the best possible way for the company. The body of literature available to the public, said the scientist, is a biased sample of what companies want people to see. The research scientist described a culture of secrecy, which makes it hard even for industry scientists tasked with ensuring drug safety to obtain the full datasets needed to genuinely understand a drug's riskbenefit profile. Conclusion Whistleblowers have been compared to beesthey have just one sting to use and using it may lead to career suicide [11]. Many of the whistleblowers at the roundtable said they had experienced retaliation from their employers for raising concerns, but all had felt obligated to speak out about practices in medicine and medical research that they believe are risking the public's health or safety. Graham said he felt trapped by the truth and had to act. There are bigger issues here, said Kruszewski. I felt right from the start [that] if I wallowed in self-pity about being fired and having my belongings piled in the gutter that I would never understand why all these things were happening. The bigger issue is that we've got people in the pharmaceutical industry and the health-care industry all acting in synchrony. Each of these whistleblowers, in very different waysfrom making a satiric film to speaking out in Congresshas shone light on how this synchrony may be compromising the integrity of American medicine. We should not have to rely on medical whistleblowers to alert us to these fault lines. If we are to restore objectivity to drug development, prescribing, and safety monitoring, we must be willing to examine and change all of the institutions that allow this synchrony to occur. Hepatitis B is a serious global public health problem but is preventable with safe and effective vaccines that have been available since 1982. Despite these vaccines, about 2 billion people have been infected with hepatitis B virus (HBV), and more than 350 million have lifelong infections. These chronically infected people are at high risk of death from cirrhosis of the liver and liver cancer, which both kill about 1 million people each year. Suppression of viral replication in chronic carriers of HBV is an effective approach to controlling disease progression. Current antiviral therapies include lamivudine and alpha-interferon, but long-term resolution of the disease is disappointing because of low seroconversion rates and the development of drug-resistant viral mutants. In this month's PLoS Medicine , Lisa F. P. Ng and colleagues describe the identification of a host factor that has a significant effect on viral replication efficiency. The team began by examining the serum viral load of a group of carriers of hepatitis B in relation to the HBV genome carried. They found a significant association between high serum viral load and a natural sequence variant within the HBV enhancer II regulatory region at position 1752. Upon testing all four possible 1752 variants, the 1752A variant had the highest transcriptional activity. Further investigation of this enhanced transcriptional activity revealed evidence of possible interaction with host DNA binding proteins. The team found that a protein present in the human hosthnRNPKcould be isolated by direct binding to a viral fragment derived from the HBV variant of these infected patients. hnRNPK has previously been shown to be involved in several cellular functionsfor example, as a regulator of signal transduction and of gene expression. On further examination of the role of hnRNPK in HBV replication, they established that hnRNPK is capable of acting on the full length of HBV, rather than just a partial fragment. They compared four full-length replicative HBV clones, identical except for a single base change at position 1752, that were transfected with two different hnRNPK expression constructs and showed that 1752A was more efficient at promoting replication than the other three variants. To further show the role of hnRNPK in HBV replication, the team tested the effect of over-expression and down-regulation of the cellular protein. Using siRNA, designed to reduce endogenous hnRNPK, they showed suppression of both hnRNPK mRNA and HBV viral load, whereas a control siRNA had no effect on HBV viral load. Despite these findings, the mechanism behind hnRNPK on HBV replication needs further exploration, the authors say, concluding that viral replication efficiency was determined by a combination of viral sequence and interaction with specific host proteins. However, they suggest that these results indicate that although drug development of antivirals is an established research avenue, targeting the host is an untapped opportunity. They describe parallels with anti-EGFR antibody treatment of breast cancer cells, which produced a decrease in cell replication rate and corresponding reduction in hnRNPK expression levels; this result suggested that hnRNPK levels could be modulated by anti-EGFR treatment, thus highlighting new treatment options for altering the HBV viral load in chronic carriers. The authors conclude that the future of long-term viral clearance will require combination therapy of targeting the virus directly, blocking host support proteins, and using immuno-modulating agents. Approximately 40% of the world's population, mostly living in the world's poorest countries, is at risk of malaria. In the tropical and subtropical regions of the world, malaria causes 300 million acute illnesses and at least 1 million deaths annually. Ninety percent of these deaths occur in Africa, south of the Sahara, mostly among young children. To assess disease severity, peripheral blood parasitemia is measured, but this is only a weak predictor of mortality in falciparum malaria. In addition, a microscopist is only able to count the less pathogenic circulating stages of the parasite, whereas the more pathogenic parasitized erythrocytes, sequestered in the capillaries and containing mature parasites, are not seen and therefore not counted. However, sequestered Plasmodium falciparum parasites secrete Histidine-rich protein 2 (PfHRP2), which is liberated into the plasma at schizont rupture. In this month's PLoS Medicine , Arjen Dondorp and colleagues suggest that the plasma concentration of this protein might provide a better estimate for the patient's total parasite biomass and therefore be a more accurate prognostic indicator than circulating parasite load. There is evidence to support this hypothesis. A recent study by the same team measured PfHRP2 in P. falciparum cultures, and showed that approximately 89% of PfHRP2 is liberated at schizont rupture and that the variation in the amount released is limited. In the current study the researchers measured plasma PfHRP2 concentrations in 337 patients with varying severity of falciparum malaria and, using a simple mathematical model, estimated the total body parasite biomass. This value was compared with measures of disease severity and outcome. The developmental stage distribution of circulating parasites, which also provides information on the sequestered parasites, was also evaluated in relation to plasma PfHRP2 levels in these patients. The researchers found that the estimated geometric mean parasite burden was more than six times higher in patients with severe malaria than in patients hospitalized without signs of severe disease, and was highest in patients who died. Statistical analysis revealed that the estimated total parasite biomass was clearly associated with disease severity and outcome. By contrast, peripheral blood parasitemia and the number of circulating parasites were not associated with disease outcome, nor with other measures of severity such as admission plasma lactate concentrations. The finding that sequestered parasite biomass is associated with disease severity fits with current thinking that sequestration of erythrocytes containing the mature forms of the parasite is the central pathological process in falciparum malaria. However, the team noted there were several factors that might contribute to inaccuracies in the model. For example, the amount of PfHRP2 secreted per parasite varies between different parasite strains. Also, in high transmission areas, where partial immunity against the disease develops, clearance of PfHRP2 might be increased in the presence of antibodies against the protein; in these areassuch as countries in sub-Saharan Africathe model would thus underestimate the parasite burden and might need to be adapted further for use. Despite these issues, estimates of plasma PfHRP2 concentrations may be useful as a research tool to stratify patients' parasite loads, say the authors. They conclude that quantitative measurements of plasma PfHRP2 in patients with falciparum malaria could be used to estimate the total parasite biomass, a parameter pivotal in the pathophysiology of the disease, and that this total parasite biomass is associated with clinical measures of the severity of the disease. Introduction Cystic fibrosis (CF) is a generalized exocrine disease resulting from the defective regulation of epithelial chloride ion transport within various organ systems, most importantly the lungs [ 1 2 3 4 ] . This dysfunction can arise from a variety of mutations within the cystic fibrosis transmembrane conductance regulator (CFTR) gene on chromosome 7, which encodes the transmembrane pump responsible for regulating transepithelial ion levels [ 1 2 4 ] . This defect is associated with an increased viscosity of the airway surface fluid, and according to some studies, an altered salt concentration [ 5 6 ] . These and other pleiotropic effects of the CF gene abnormality increase the susceptibility of CF patients to bronchopulmonary bacterial infection by opportunistic pathogens. Pseudomonas aeruginosa is the most common pathogen recovered from the lungs of CF patients [ 2 3 ] . This predisposition to P. aeruginosa infection has been attributed to several factors. For example, an increase in asialo-GM 1 glycoproteins on the apical surface of CF airway epithelial cells provides greater opportunity for adhesion by the type IV pili of P. aeruginosa [ 3 7 8 ] . Furthermore, the first extracellular domain of wild type CFTR has been found to act as a P. aeruginosa -specific receptor, which is involved in the clearance of P. aeruginosa from the airways via epithelial cell desquamation [ 9 10 11 ] , a process greatly impaired in the CF lung. Other conditions that abet colonization of the CF lung include impairment of the "mucociliary escalator" and macrophage-mediated phagocytosis by the viscous airway secretions. If elevated salt concentrations exist within these secretions [ 5 6 ] , they would inhibit and -defensins, endogenous antibacterial peptides produced by neutrophils and airway epithelia, respectively [ 2 3 12 13 14 15 ] . This last point is still under review as recent evidence suggests that CF airway surface fluid may be isotonic not hypertonic [ 16 ] . In recent years Burkholderia cepacia has become the second leading cause of death in patients with chronic granulomatous disease (CGD). The phagocytes of such patients are deficient in their capacity to kill organisms by oxidative means because of a defective NADPH oxidase [ 17 18 ] . B. cepacia also poses a threat to patients with CF, either cocolonizing those already infected with P. aeruginosa or as the sole infecting agent [ 2 18 ] . Although rates of colonization can vary widely (between 5 and 70%), B. cepacia is isolated from sputum in only 10%-20% of patients with CF [ 2 3 ] . B. cepacia , a very diverse species, has been divided into several "classes" of bacteria, i.e., genomovars, collectively referred to as the B. cepacia complex. Genomovar III is the most common B. cepacia genomovar isolated from CF patients, accounting for approximately 80% of B. cepacia isolates in CF patients. Genomovars II and V have also been recovered from CF patients [ 18 ] . Of critical concern are B. cepacia 's transmissibility from one patient to another and its propensity to give rise to the B. cepacia syndrome, which results in a rapid decline in pulmonary function [ 2 18 ] . The ability of B. cepacia as well as P. aeruginosa to cause chronic bronchopulmonary infections in CF patients is exacerbated by their intrinsic or acquired resistance to many conventional antibiotics. Peptide antibiotics, including protegrins, are currently under consideration as novel agents for treating pulmonary infections in CF patients. Antimicrobial peptides are synthesized either nonribosomally or ribosomally [ 19 ] . Protegrin-1 (PG-1), a 2 kDa cationic octadecapeptide (RGGRLCYCRRRFCVCVGR-amide) was originally isolated from porcine leukocytes [ 20 ] and falls into the latter category. We selected it for this study because it is rapidly bactericidal, functions well at elevated physiological salt concentrations such as those that may occur in the CF lung, and has a broad spectrum of activity [ 21 22 23 ] . PG-1's antiparallel -hairpin structure and antimicrobial activity in physiological and elevated salt concentrations are maintained by its two intramolecular cystine disulfide bonds [ 21 24 25 26 27 28 ] . The antimicrobial spectrum of PG-1 includes Chlamydia trachomatis , Candida albicans , Escherichia coli , Fusobacterium nucleatum, Haemophilus ducreyi , Listeria monocytogenes , Neisseria gonorrhoeae , Porphyromonas gingivalis , Prevotella intermedia , P. aeruginosa , and Staphylococcus aureus [ 20 22 25 29 30 31 32 ] . This study tested the hypothesis that the relative sensitivity or resistance of P. aeruginosa and B. cepacia strains to PG-1 correlates to the extent of peptide binding. A previously described two-stage radial diffusion technique designed for peptide antibiotics was used to determine susceptibility. Binding of protegrins to intact P. aeruginosa and B. cepacia cells and to purified lipopolysaccharide (LPS) and lipid A prepared from these organisms was measured by three different techniques. Materials and methods Bacterial strains and growth media Two sets of genetically related P. aeruginosa strains were studied. Strain 144M, a serum-sensitive mucoid isolate from a CF patient, contains short O-side chain LPS, while its serum-resistant derivative, 144M(SR), which is also mucoid, has long O-side chain LPS [ 33 ] . Strain FRD-1 is a mucoid CF isolate [ 34 ] and FRD-2 is its spontaneous nonmucoid derivative [ 35 ] . P. aeruginosa ATCC strains 10145 and 9027 are nonmucoid strains with long O-side chain LPSs [N L Schiller, unpublished results]. We also studied B. cepacia ATCC strains 25416 and 25609, as well as three clinical strains isolated from patients with CF in Vancouver, Canada, kindly provided by David P Speert, University of British Columbia. These strains included: C4813, genomovar IIIa, B. cepacia epidemic strain marker (BCESM) positive, cable pilin subunit gene A (cable A) negative; C4878, genomovar IIIa, BCESM positive, cable A negative; and C6159, genomovar IIIb, BCESM and cable A negative. BCESM and cable A are putative transmissibility markers [ 36 ] . Log-phase cultures were grown at 37C with shaking in trypticase soy broth (TSB) (Becton-Dickinson Microbiology, Cockeysville, MD). Protegrin PG-1 was prepared as previously described [ 25 ] and was approximately 96.5% pure. PG-1 was dissolved in and diluted with filter-sterilized acidified water (0.01% acetic acid) supplemented with 0.1% human serum albumin (Sigma, St. Louis, MO). The albumin in the PG-1 vehicle helped reduce nonspecific adsorption of protegrins when the stock solutions were serially diluted [ 22 37 ] . These PG-1 stock solutions were filter-sterilized prior to storage at either -20C for short term (<3 months) or -80C for long-term storage. Radial diffusion assay The two-stage radial diffusion assay protocol as described by Steinberg and Lehrer [ 37 ] and Lehrer et al . [ 38 ] was altered by supplementing the underlay agar with 150 mM NaCl to ascertain PG-1's ability to kill P. aeruginosa and B. cepacia at an elevated salt concentration. These assays were interpreted as described below. The sample wells received 5 l of PG-1 (various concentrations) or its vehicle. We analyzed the radial diffusion assay results in two ways. In one, we calculated the lethal concentration (C L ) as described by Hultmark et al . [ 39 40 ] from wells surrounded by net clear zones of 1 to 2.5 mm. In the other, we defined the minimal active concentration (MAC) as the lowest concentration of PG-1 that produced a measurable, totally clear, inhibition zone around the well. Whole cell binding assay Binding of PG-1 to intact cells was measured with a monoradioiodinated variant of PG-1. This protegrin variant differed from PG-1 in two ways: Phe7 replaced Tyr7 in the protegrin domain, and an N-terminal glycine-rich hexapeptide extension (GGGYGG) with a single tyrosine residue was present. In this report the modified peptide and its monoiodinated variant will be called "GGPG" and "I-GGPG", respectively. The full sequence of GGPG is GGGYGGRGGRLCFCRRRFCVCVGR-CONH 2 . In preliminary experiments, we determined that PG-1, GGPG, and I-GGPG exhibited virtually identical antimicrobial potency and kinetics (data not shown). GGPG was iodinated with NaI or Na 125I (Pierce, Rockford, IL) by the iodobead method [ 41 42 ] . Unincorporated NaI or Na 125I was removed by solid phase extraction on a Sep-Pak C-18 Plus Cartridge. I-GGPG was purified from uniodinated and di-iodinated GGPG by reverse phase-HPLC (Vydac, Hesperia, CA). Binding assays were done with stationary phase P. aeruginosa 9027 or B. cepacia 25416, both typically at 2.5 10 7CFU/ml. The bacteria were incubated with 125I-GGPG at 0 C for 60 min at pH 7.4 in a 10 mM Tris-acetate buffer containing 100 mM NaCl, 1% TSB, and 1% BSA. Samples were layered over 0.3 ml of a cushion composed of 5 parts of dibutyl phthalate and 3 parts of di-isodecyl phthalate (density 20 = 1.01) and centrifuged at approximately 14,000 g . After removing the supernatant and phthalate oil, the base of the tube was severed with a razor blade and the stub, which contained the pellet, was recovered for radioactivity counting. LPS and lipid A extraction and analysis Bacterial LPS was isolated according to the protocol of Darveau and Hancock [ 43 ] with some modifications, as described below. Strains were grown overnight in TSB, collected via centrifugation (10,000 g for 20 min at 0C), and suspended in a pH 8.0 buffer (5.0 g of wet weight bacteria/30 ml of buffer) that contained 10 mM Tris-hydrochloride, 2 mM MgCl 2 , 100 g/ml DNase I, and 25 g/ml RNase I. The slurry was passed twice through a French Press set at 20,000 lbs/in 2. DNase and RNase were again added, and the mixture was incubated at 37C for 2 hours. Then, to each 15 ml of suspension, the following were added: 5.0 ml of 0.5 M tetrasodium EDTA in 10 mM Tris buffer, 2.5 ml of 20% SDS in 10 mM Tris buffer, and 2.5 ml of 10 mM Tris buffer. The preparation was mixed and centrifuged at 50,000 g for 30 min at 20C to remove the peptidoglycan. Protease (Sigma P5147) at 200 g/ml was added to the supernatant and incubated at 37C overnight with agitation. On the next day, 0.375 M MgCl 2 in 95% ethanol was added and the suspension was cooled to 0C before centrifugation at 12,000 g for 15 min at 0C. The resulting pellet was resuspended in 2% SDS, 0.1 M tetrasodium EDTA in 10 mM Tris buffer and sonicated. This solution was incubated at 85C for 30 min, and cooled to room temperature before protease (25 g/ml) was added and incubated overnight at 37C. After re-precipitation the following day with ethanol, the pellet was resuspended in 10 mM Tris buffer and centrifuged at 200,000 g for 2 hours at 20C in the presence of 25 mM MgCl 2 . The final LPS extract was suspended in 10 ml dH 2 O and dialyzed overnight against dH 2 O to remove any residual salt and SDS prior to being lyophilized. Contamination of the LPS samples by protein represented no more than 3.6% 0.21%, as estimated by measuring the dry weight and protein concentration with the Bio-Rad Protein Assay Kit. Nucleic acid contamination was considered to be minimal due to the repeated DNase and RNase treatments. LPS preparations were diluted using the PG-1 vehicle prior to assaying with PG-1. Lipid A was extracted from isolated LPS preparations via acid hydrolysis [ 44 45 ] . Isolated LPS (25-30 mg) was suspended in 4 ml of a 1% acetic acid solution and heated in a water bath to 100C under refluxing conditions for 3 hours. Once the lipid A was hydrolyzed, it precipitated out of solution and was extracted with five sequential 4 ml aliquots of chloroform. Lipid A extracts were collected and washed three times with 10 ml aliquots of dH 2 O before being lyophilized. Lipid A was dissolved in 100% dimethyl sulfoxide (DMSO), which was diluted to 2.5% with the PG-1 vehicle before application in the radial diffusion assay. In order to measure the ability of LPS and lipid A to bind PG-1, we modified the two stage radial diffusion assay so that we could ascertain the amount of LPS or lipid A (in ng), that reduced the antimicrobial activity of 50 ng of PG-1 by 50 percent (called the effective concentration 50% or EC 50 ). Briefly, 2.5 l of a 20 g/ml PG-1 solution and 2.5 l of LPS or lipid A (at various concentrations based on their dry weight) were combined, and added to the radial diffusion wells. After a 3-hour incubation, a nutrient rich overlay gel was poured and the plates were incubated overnight. The following day, zone diameters (including the wells) were measured in mm. Since the height (h) of the underlay gel was always 1.2 mm, the zone diameters were converted to volumes cleared of viable bacteria with the formula for the volume of a cylinder: V= r 2h. Since the 3 mm diameter sample well was devoid of both bacteria and peptide, its volume (8.5 l) was subtracted from the gross clear zone volume ( r 2h) to derive the net volume rendered free of bacteria. As will be shown below, this net volume was a linear function of the amount of PG-1 placed in the well, for amounts of protegrin between 0-50 ng/ well. Surface plasmon resonance Binding of LPS or lipid A to PG-1 was assessed with a Biacore 2000 system (BiaCore AB, Piscataway, NJ); a very similar approach was used to study LPS binding by peptide domains of horseshoe crab factor C [ 46 ] . This innovative technology uses surface plasmon resonance to study biomolecular interactions in real time. Briefly, the binding takes place on a small chip coated with a thin layer of metal. It is monitored by monochromatic, p-polarized light whose electric vector component is parallel to the plane of incidence. Under these conditions, the intensity of the reflected light is markedly reduced at a specific incident angle, producing a sharp "shadow". This phenomenon is called "surface plasmon resonance" (SPR) and the incident light angle at which the shadow is observed is the "SPR angle". Detection of the SPR angle depends on changes in the refractive index (RI) of the medium on the nonilluminated side of the chip. Since this RI depends on the mass concentration of macromolecules at this surface, monitoring the SPR angle provides a real-time measure of changes in the surface concentration. The SPR spectrum is a plot of the SPR angle against time, and displays the interaction's progress at the sensor surface. The SPR signal is expressed in resonance units (RU), and 1000 RU is equivalent to a change in surface protein concentration of about 1 ng/mm 2or of about 6 mg/ml in the bulk protein concentration. In our study, LPS and lipid A samples from P. aeruginosa 9027 and B. cepacia 25416 were immobilized on a hydrophobic HPA sensor chip (BR-1000-30, Biacore AB) that was found, in our preliminary experiments, to provide an optimal matrix for LPS and lipid A. The surface of HPA sensor chips is composed of long-chain alkanethiol molecules that form a flat, quasi-crystalline hydrophobic layer that facilitates hydrophobic adsorption of liposomes or micelles on a user-defined polar lipid monolayer. The chip was precleaned and conditioned by washing twice with 40 mM n-octyl glucoside (Sigma Chemical Co.). To immobilize the LPS, 60 l of a 1 mg/ml LPS preparation was dispersed in 100 mM NaCl containing 10 mM HEPES buffer (pH 7.4), and passed across the chip's surface for 30 min, at flow rate of 2 l/min. Lipid A was dissolved and immobilized similarly, except that its concentration was reduced to 0.2 mg/ml. Residual unbound LPS and lipid A were washed away with 0.1 M HCl and 0.1 M NaOH. BSA (0.1 mg/ml) was used to detect nonspecific binding on the surfaces coated by LPS or lipid A. PG-1 binding was measured by observing the change in the SPR angle of the sample bound to the chip as 30 l of PG-1 (20 M, 10 M, 6 M, 3 M, 2 M, and 1 M) flowed over the sample for 3 min at a rate of 10 l/min. These PG-1 solutions were also prepared in 100 mM NaCl containing 10 mM HEPES buffer (pH 7.4). Each binding study was done in triplicate and the chip was regenerated between trials by washing it with 0.1 M HCl and 0.1 M NaOH. Results Activity of PG-1 on P. aeruginosaand B. cepaciastrains The C L and MAC for PG-1 on P. aeruginosa and B. cepacia were determined in two-stage radial diffusion assays (Table 1). The mean C L of PG-1 for the six P. aeruginosa strains was 0.30 g/ml, and the mean C L for the five B. cepacia strains was 5.02 g/ml, a 16.7-fold difference. The mean MACs for P. aeruginosa and B. cepacia were 0.17 g/ml and 8.40 g/ml, respectively. The C L and MAC values for P. aeruginosa and B. cepacia differed significantly ( P exact = 0.004) when the data were analyzed by the Mann-Whitney test. We also compared two sets of genetically related P. aeruginosa strains: 144M/144M(SR) and FRD-1/FRD-2. Whereas the LPS of strain 144M has a very short O-antigen side chain, LPS from strain 144M(SR) has a very long O-antigen side chain. However, despite these differences both strains had comparable C L and MAC values. Similarly, comparison of the alginate producer FRD-1 with FRD-2, its spontaneous nonmucoid derivative, revealed that both strains had very similar C L and MAC values. Intact/whole cell binding Incubation of 125I-GGPG with intact P. aeruginosa 9027 (PG-1 sensitive) and B. cepacia 25416 (PG-1 resistant) cells demonstrated a marked difference in protegrin binding between the two strains (Fig. 1). When the bacteria were exposed to 12.5 g 125I-GGPG /ml, approximately sixfold more protegrin molecules bound to P. aeruginosa than to B. cepacia , and at an 125I-GGPG concentration of 25 g/ml, 12 times as many protegrin molecules bound to P. aeruginosa . Another factor also merits mention in this regard. By light microscopy, the B. cepacia cells appeared larger than the P. aeruginosa cells. By electron microscopy, we found that the mean cross sectional diameters and lengths of B. cepacia 25416 cells were 0.755 m 2.55 m. The corresponding values for P. aeruginosa 9027 cells were 0.615 m 2.35 m. Assuming a cylindrical structure for both, we calculated that the surface area of the B. cepacia cells (6.00 m 2) was approximately 33% larger on average than that of P. aeruginosa (4.54 m 2). Binding of PG-1 to LPS and lipid A To compare binding of PG-1 to LPS and lipid A from P. aeruginosa 9027 and B. cepacia 25416, we devised a simple bioassay based on the radial diffusion assay. As shown in Fig. 2, for protegrin amounts between 0 and 50 ng, the volume of underlay gel that was rendered completely free of viable bacteria was linearly related to the amount of peptide introduced into the well. By mixing a constant amount of protegrin (within this linear range) with graded amounts of purified LPS and lipid A, we could readily determine how much of these ligands were needed to reduce the activity of 50 ng of PG-1 by 50% (the EC 50 values). The results of our assays with LPS and lipid A purified from the strains we used in the above 125I-GGPG binding studies are shown in Fig. 3A. The EC 50 values for LPS isolated from P. aeruginosa and B. cepacia differed by 4.6-fold (100 ng versus 460 ng) while the EC 50 values for lipid A isolated from the same strains differed by approximately 16.7-fold (60 ng versus 1000 ng). To ascertain if these findings were representative, we prepared LPS and lipid A from another pair of bacteria ( P. aeruginosa FRD-2 and B. cepacia C4813) and repeated the studies. The EC 50 values for both LPS and lipid A obtained from P. aeruginosa FRD-2 were each 120 ng. The values for B. cepacia LPS and lipid A were estimated as approximately 2050 ng for both (Fig. 3B), a difference of 17.1-fold when compared to P. aeruginosa FRD-2 LPS and lipid A. Surface plasmon resonance studies We also used SPR spectroscopy to compare the binding of PG-1 to LPS and lipid A purified from P. aeruginosa 9027 and B. cepacia 25416. Injection of LPS or lipid A from both strains was stopped when the increase in RU of both reached 1000. Loosely bound molecules were washed away by increasing the flow rate to 100 l/min, followed by two, one-minute short pulse injections of 100 mM NaOH. Injections of 0.1 mg/ml BSA prepared in the eluent buffer were passed across the LPS or lipid A coated surfaces for a five-minute period and showed an increase of around 100 RU, whereas the same amount of BSA passed across the uncoated, n-octyl glucoside washed surface showed an increase of roughly 1000 RU. This demonstrated that the surface of the chip was fully covered by LPS or lipid A. Since similar amounts of these ligands had bound to the chip, the response unit differences seen at concentrations between 1 and 20 M indicate that approximately twice as much PG-1 bound P. aeruginosa lipid A as bound lipid A from the B. cepacia strain (Fig. 4). Binding differences were less marked when we studied LPS from these organisms (Fig. 5). Although up to one third more protegrin molecules bound to P. aeruginosa LPS than to B. cepacia LPS at protegrin concentrations of 1-6 M, these differences disappeared when we tested higher PG-1 concentrations. At 10 M PG-1, LPS from P. aeruginosa and B. cepacia bound PG-1 equally ( 750 response units). Equal binding was also seen at 20 M PG-1 ( 1000 response units). Discussion In this study we compared the sensitivity of P. aeruginosa and B. cepacia strains to protegrin PG-1 with the ability of the intact bacteria and key components of their outer membranes (LPS and lipid A) to bind this peptide. The indices of susceptibility (C L and MAC values) obtained from our radial diffusion assays established that P. aeruginosa was considerably more sensitive to PG-1 than B. cepacia . We also found that at any given peptide concentration, many fewer protegrin molecules bound to intact B. cepacia and its lipid A than to the corresponding P. aeruginosa preparations. In model systems, the ability of protegrins to permeabilize membranes shows pronounced "concentration-gating", an indication that it is influenced by the density of bound protegrin molecules per unit area of membrane [ 47 ] . As prior quantitative studies of peptide binding are few in number, some readers may be surprised to note that Fig. 1shows many millions of protegrin molecules are bound to an average bacterial cell, even at concentrations around the minimal active concentration. To acquire an equivalent density of surface-bound PG-1 molecules, B. cepacia needed exposure to much higher concentrations of PG-1 than P. aeruginosa . Thus, it is a reasonable inference that the relative resistance of B. cepacia to PG-1 is a consequence of the smaller number of protegrin molecules bound per unit area of bacterial surface. Earlier studies have shown that certain structural differences in the LPS of Gram-negative bacteria correlate with their susceptibility or resistance to antimicrobial (lipo)peptides [ 19 23 48 49 50 51 ] . Particular attention has been given to alterations of the outer membrane that could modify binding to the cell surface. For example, sensitivity to the antibacterial lipopeptide polymyxin B is affected by the PmrA-PmrB regulon, which mediates substitution of 4-aminoarabinose on the 4 phosphate of lipid A [ 52 53 ] . By reducing the negative charge of lipid A, this modification decreases its electrostatic interaction with cationic peptides. Resistance to polymyxin B is also imparted by the absence or masking of critical binding sites required for polycation-mediated permeabilization of the outer membrane [ 54 ] . Thus, attachment of polymyxin B to Yersinia enterocolitica is reduced by steric hindrance generated by the size and/or branched shape of the outer core region of its LPS macromolecule [ 55 ] . Additionally, resistance to cationic peptides can be due to cytoplasmic clearance of the antimicrobial peptide by an efflux pump; e.g., Yersinia resistance to polymyxin B caused by the RosA/RosB efflux pump/potassium antiporter [ 56 ] and Neisseria gonorrhoeae resistance to protegrin PG-1 via an energy-dependent efflux system termed mtr [ 57 ] . Given the notorious resistance of B. cepacia to conventional antibiotics [ 2 ] , its relative resistance to PG-1 was not unexpected. What bacterial properties influenced sensitivity to protegrins? Certainly, the striking correlation with the extent of protegrin binding must be one of these. Our studies with genetically related P. aeruginosa strains did not implicate the length of the O-antigen side chain as a key factor. Furthermore, genetically related P. aeruginosa strains that differed in alginate production were equally sensitive to PG-1. Both results were somewhat surprising, since long O-side chain and alginate molecules should both bind PG-1. Perhaps limited alginate production under our experimental conditions explains its failure to influence susceptibility to PG-1. Additional studies focusing on the influence of alginate on PG-1 activity in a biofilm model are in progress. Why did fewer protegrin molecules bind to B. cepacia than to P. aeruginosa ? Our radial diffusion/binding and SPR studies strongly implicated lipid A as a prime suspect in the case. The acyl chains of lipid A form an integral part of the outer membrane bilayer, and electrostatic or hydrophobic binding of protegrin to lipid A could easily disturb the organization and acyl-chain packing of the outer membrane, both vital in maintaining its integrity and barrier function. Accepting a direct proportionality between measured plasmon resonance (RU) and the extent of peptide bound to the sensor surface, the responses shown in Fig. 4indicate that at saturation (20 M), lipid A from B. cepacia bound almost exactly one-half as many protegrin molecules as lipid A from P. aeruginosa . How might this be rationalized? Lipid A typically contains two phosphate groups, one on each glucosamine residue. In the lipid A of B. cepacia , one of these phosphates is modified by a phosphodiester-linked 4-amino-4-deoxyarabinose residue [ 58 59 ] . It is noteworthy that a previous study reported that the phosphate content of B. cepacia LPS was only one-third of that of P. aeruginosa [ 60 ] . If most of the P. aeruginosa lipid A phosphates are unmodified, and if these phosphates are principal protegrin binding sites, then one would expect exactly the results shown in Fig. 4. This is also consistent with the suggestion, made in a recent report showing that cystic fibrosis isolates of P. aeruginosa had lipid A isoforms derivatized with aminoarabinose (or palmitate), that these structural modifications could enhance resistance to cationic antimicrobial peptides [ 61 ] . Although the acyl chains of lipid A might also provide alternative binding sites for protegrin, the orientation of lipid A on the HPA sensor chip ("butter-side down") probably removes them from consideration, at least under our study conditions. The core and outer polysaccharide regions of LPS should provide additional binding sites, including the carboxylate moieties of KDO or KO (D-glycero-D-talo-oct-2-ulopyranosylonic acid [ 62 ] . This could explain why B. cepacia LPS binds about as much PG-1 as P. aeruginosa LPS (Fig. 5) especially at peptide concentrations of 10-20 M, which allow binding to lower affinity sites. This interpretation helps explain why Fig. 3suggests that B. cepacia LPS binds protegrin less effectively than the corresponding P. aeruginosa preparation, while the SPR results in Fig. 5show that B. cepacia and P. aeruginosa LPS bound equivalent amounts of PG-1 at high (10-20 M) protegrin concentrations. To resolve these seemingly discrepant results, it is important to recall that in SPR assays, the sensor chips were constantly bathed with a fixed protegrin concentration ranging from 1-20 M and that in radial diffusion assays, the wells received a fixed initial amount of protegrin (50 ng). In the latter assays, the peptide was dispersed in a total volume of 10 l, making its maximal initial concentration approximately 2.3M - well below the 10-20 M concentrations needed to saturate LPS. Moreover, in addition to binding the LPS or lipid A molecules we added to the well, some of the initially added protegrin could diffuse radially into the underlay gel. Both initial binding and radial diffusion will decrease the concentration of free (i.e., unbound) protegrin that remains in the well, and further skew its binding towards higher affinity binding sites on lipid A. Although our data clearly establish the presence of a reduced number of binding sites for protegrin in lipid A from B. cepacia , as compared to lipid A from P. aeruginosa , they do not identify the cause of this phenomenon. These alterations could result from 4-aminoarabinose substitutions on the lipid A, from other changes that reduce the number of ion-binding sites, or from changes that affect hydrophobic interactions or membrane insertion. Additional studies that characterize B. cepacia LPS and lipid A can help pinpoint the exact structural differences that relate to the relative resistance of B. cepacia to protegrins and to endogenous antimicrobial peptides of humans. Conclusion Our studies demonstrate a correlation between protegrin sensitivity/resistance and protegrin binding in P. aeruginosa and B. cepacia , and support a hypothesis that the relative resistance of B. cepacia to protegrin is due principally to a reduced number of protegrin binding sites on the lipid A moiety of its LPS. Abbreviations BSA = bovine serum albumin; CF = cystic fibrosis; CFTR = cystic fibrosis transmembrane conductance regulator; C L = lethal concentration; DMSO = dimethyl sulfoxide; EC 50 = effective concentration 50%; EDTA = ethylenediamine tetraacetic acid; GGPG = modified PG-1 with a glycine-rich hexapeptide extension (GGGYGG) containing a single tyrosine residue; HEPES = N-2-hydroxyethylpiperazine-N-2-ethanesulfonic acid; HPLC = high performance liquid chromatography; I-GGPG = monoiodinated variant of GGPG; LPS = lipopolysaccharide; MAC = minimal active concentration; PG-1 = protegrin-1; RU = resonance units; SDS = sodium dodecyl sulfate; SPR = surface plasmon resonance; TSB = trypticase soy broth. have you done a lot of camping recently no i haven't been camping since i was about sixteen oh okay but uh my family used to have a pop-up trailer and we'd go camping to a lot of different places we spent two weeks in Bastrop Texas once oh yeah uh where's that it's near Austin oh okay i'm not that much familiar with Texas we've been my family has been everywhere but mostly in Texas on the way to someplace else we've had oh gosh we've um-hum i've camped in a in a in a back of a van van then we got then we got a pop-up camper and then we got a trailer now they've got now they've got a big motor home so they they still do a whole lot of camping have you ever been camping in any of the big national parks oh gosh yes uh oh Yellowstone about four years ago four or five years ago and um oh we did my family when i was younger we went that was just you know what we did in the summers was go to the from you know national park to national park we had a lot of fun when i go camping i don't i don't like to rough it i like to have some a little bit of electricity electricity and a little bit of running water yes me too i'm not really into this going and sitting in a tent for a few days with nothing oh no no i've done it but it's not fun you don't want to do it for like three weeks at a time that's for sure God i have some friends that go camping for a couple of weeks every summer they're both geologists and they load up their truck with their tent and they go to New Mexico and they just find places to camp and go looking for rocks and ooh no no doesn't sound like a lot of fun to me uh my friend said that the last time they went uh she just got tired of the tent and it was cold at night and she got tired of eating out of cans and so they stayed in a hotel one night oh yeah just for fun shaking the scorpions out of their shoes no kidding no kidding gosh that's what the the the bugs i don't like the bugs oh me neither me neither the the mosquitoes just keep you up all night yeah the one good nice thing i remember about camping with my parents is they had a big hammock and they would always find a couple of a campsite with a couple of good trees to hang it in between and i could just lay in that hammock for hours yeah yeah that that's nice yeah when my family when my family camps we're the the only time you're at the camper is when you want to sleep otherwise you're just going constantly you know in all the in all the National Parks and stuff oh hum we camped at the let's see we camped down at at Galveston two or three years ago and that that was that was fun except that they uh were having a lot of problems with dead fish on the shore and they were and the and the smell of that was kind of gross but we stayed in Galveston Island State Park once but if a storm blew in and it was just horrible and the sand was blowing up our camp the little camping area was pretty near the shore oh how awful um-hum oh yeah and there were some pretty big dunes before the the camping area and the sand was all blowing up and couldn't even go out of the camper the wind was blowing so hard because you'd get sand in your eyes oh that's miserable yeah it was pretty bad yeah i had yeah pretty bad but we had a good time in our camper we usually we usually took box games and things to do in case it rained and they my parents always let us take a couple of friends so we always had a good time yeah yeah it's it's you it's you you always when you when there's kids you've always got to have other stuff to do because it's always gonna rain sometime and then your parents parents they drive the parents nuts yeah yeah and yeah well children aren't easily entertained by just enjoying the nature oh i know i wish i'd appreciated i wish i'd appreciated it more you uh when i was when we were camping so extensively you when we when we were younger yeah now i wish i could go back to those places yeah the time and i've got got a child and another one on the way so i wish i had time my my our pop-up camper just sits in the garage and collects dust unfortunately oh gosh it makes it a little my fiance and i one day would like to own a big motor home mainly because he's a football he's a college football coach and we're gonna have to travel a lot uh-huh yeah and it'd be nice if we had a big ole motor home and that way i could load up the rest of the wives and go to wherever the football game is and have someplace to sleep without spending big money for a hotel and and park it outside of the stadium and have a good ole time yeah that's true plus it's nice to have your own stuff there yeah plus you get eating out is expensive is so expensive and um-hum that is nice no kidding it really is so it it it it's a it can be really handy to have a camper just um because my our family lives in Missouri and uh when we take trips home we take our pop-up with us in good weather and stay overnight at a state park or something so we don't have to rent a hotel room and that's oh yeah that's nice you know paying five or six dollars instead of forty yeah no kidding yeah well what else well i think that's just pretty much it we've been on here awhile okay well it's been nice talking to you nice talking to you too bye bye-bye well the first thing for me is i wonder i see a couple of different ways of talking about what privacy is um if privacy is something that disturbs your private state i mean an invasion of privacy is something that disturbs your private state that's one thing and if privacy is something that comes into your private state and extracts information from it in other words finds something out about you that's another and the first kind of invasion of the first type of privacy seems invaded to me in very much everyday in this country but in the second type at least overtly uh where someone comes in and uh finds out information about you that should be private uh does not seem uh um obviously everyday i i think i agree with that i think in a good example on the typical thing that happens uh when the phone rang and it's TI calling my immediate reaction is that it's some sort of strange phone message and then i realize oh no this is something i solicited that's right so my immediate reaction was one of that sense of invasion but after that i realized no i i really wanted this and it was sort of exciting and so that was almost an example of a situation an invasion that turns out to be not invasive uh-huh right it turned out to be uh uh an invitation exactly uh and at the same time i think that i receive on on the order of uh probably seven or eight a week calls of the nature where one wishes that there were a convenient way to just hang up on it from from personal parties or from these uh phone answering phone uh commercial things commercial solicitations solicitations primarily oh that that's a remarkable number i get them rarely and i'm still astounded that that uh one they let anyone do them and two that they have any effectiveness whatsoever um because i'm usually so insulted by them i just hang up as soon as i recognize what they are yeah i think they prey on people's um inherent politeness on the phone even with a machine i find people being kind of polite and waiting for it to finish what it has to say and then they feel an obligation to respond even though there's not even a person there and i think that's what makes one feel invaded is the fact that there seems to be little control and you one's feeling obligated because uh some sense of of the way the ritual is played out um-hum um-hum um-hum and and uh that that then ends up being the the most common example for me um-hum um-hum um i guess i'm not typically feeling invaded in my privacy relative to this second yeah this one that you raised and i don't think i would have thought about that i think that's a good idea on your part i don't typically feel intruded on on the things oh in the sense of finding out information well presumably those who find out such information if they are doing it i would prefer to not to be known and i mean you know the classic oh i don't know CIA conspiracy theories or whatever would have uh such parties trying to do it without your knowledge so there's things that invade that second type of privacy where you do know about them and possibly things that invade that second type of privacy without you knowing about it and i can't talk about the second one other than to to to generate paranoia yeah to surmise and i'd like to think that's it's quite low at least in this country i don't feel like the KGB is monitoring my phone or anything like that to surmise to surmise it is there well i guess although i well that's a good point where you said that how does one define what invasion of privacy is because uh if that's the case of a tree falling in the forest and i'm not feeling invaded then maybe my privacy hasn't been because i have no sense of my privacy state having been invaded um-hum yeah um-hum um-hum um-hum um if your defining it in terms of information gone even if it's something you don't know about it well then i guess one could assume one was invaded but i don't feel invaded by it um-hum um-hum i don't have a sense of threat in general from those sorts of things i'm not sure why uh i guess it comes from a sense of facts or facts and if someone finds out something about me that is true i i don't have a sense of loss from that um-hum well you must have a relatively clean conscience then uh the the other side of that might be uh if if someone there's someone found out something or surmised something that weren't true then i would feel probably more invaded in the gossipy sort of sense yes yes you'd be more harmed or something yeah because right because you don't have anyway to turn it off there did you hear about this Lotus database that was being put together yes i did i was just about to write a letter when i heard they canceled it that would be an example where my sense of threat would be high because i would find that there'd be could good possibility that their facts were were fantasy um-hum um-hum and then i would feel not only invaded in the sense that someone had obtained information from me that i would rather they didn't and that might be the sense of a spending pattern for instance that that i would have thought to be private but then if it turns out to generate um-hum um-hum incorrect things that's even worse uh or if my call rate of of eight to or so a week went up even higher because uh someone had had um-hum um-hum they had you pegged right as a person who had takes unsolicited phones calls and pays money and then all of a sudden you get your thirty a week because now their advertising you right exactly yeah yeah yeah and i one of the problems with the Lotus database was uh that it was uncontrolled access to who would have that information i mean they said they would give it out to only select companies but uh you know just like software is only given out to customers i mean you can't believe that it would it would be pirated and they wouldn't bother to check that carefully anyway to someone who's offering right right you know full cash price for it i mean you know you can't tell what what a company really has to do with it and there's something rather ominous about having right virtually anyone any hacker being able to know what your income is what your spending habits are and you know and and that hacker just has to get into in touch with a sneak thief and suddenly and then what started as an invasion of privacy can be you know an invasion of your actual home um-hum and i guess that turns out to be the basic problem with any invasion of privacy is whether or not you're feeling threatened as a result of of it so so maybe that is a a little bit of what privacy is yeah yes exactly um-hum i also hm thought about it because i was uh waiting to talk to you that another thing that occurred to me is there's not so much invasion of my privacy because i know how to behave such that there isn't but i realized i have to behave in a certain way in order to not have people invade my privacy if i deviate from social norms of behavior if i run up and down the street yelling or something someone's gonna invade my privacy very quickly and um-hum i realize that that i mean i can take that for granted but i used to i used to live in India and things are quite different there in terms of that there's less of a sense of privacy in fact it's said that no Indian language has a word for privacy certainly a language i know doesn't but just has a word for loneliness loneliness is the closest you can come which is really quite different oh that's interesting but but no concept for wanting to be private yeah it's it's generally being alone is not a very desirable state at least officially okay um so there's not i mean doors don't have latches on them people don't tend to knock you just if there's a door closed you open it because it's in your way you people walk in and out and as a as a westerner in India i was often surprised and felt my sense of privacy there was quite invaded oh that that would be that'd be culturally shocking you know it it very much is but on the other hand i realized i could go out on the street and act like a complete lunatic uh-huh and people would leave me alone uh-huh whereas in this country where everyone respects the closed doors very much if you go out and act like the lunatic you you violate the uh the norms of social of um public behavior um people start paying attention to you very much and they start asking q uestions and in a sense are invite invade invading your privacy although if you know what the social norms are you know quote unquote you asked for it but it does mean that you have yet another reason to follow a set of social norms yes and which isn't alway always the case in all cultures and it wasn't until i was thinking about it just now that i realized that's actually something that's culturally relative that that is true i hadn't thought about that and and that is fascinating to to think about someone who doesn't know how to say private um-hum um-hum and they've really um well i mean i i wonder how people have sex and things like that i mean they obviously you go to India and it's obvious you know the results of sex are quite obvious as the population goes up an extra hundred million every few years um but i i just don't quite um there's hope i actually for all for the time i've spent there i still don't quite understand how certain things that i assume and require privacy and require not just that you be alone but actually that you have a sense of privacy yes because anyone can be alone for oh some period of time but for me a lot of what i do requires a sense that there's this invisible barrier around me which people will respect will respect and if that's gone um i i really really don't know how to live very well and i wonder i really do wonder how people do that yes that's interesting are there are there any other specific things that that you feel like where where you feel your privacy to be invaded on a day-to-day basis or either growing on a growing frequency well the classic the other classic examples the Jehovah's Witness or or Mormons or someone knocking at the front door um which is more intrusive because i have to feel really tell someone to go away and there's that sense of i have now opened my door they now see what i look like what i live like and normally and they're doing something that normally i really only invite people to because i okay any friend anyone any friend anyone i give my number to is welcome to call me but no one is just welcome to come by my house so that is more of a sense of invasion so that's another example of the invasion because of a nonsolicited okay um i don't know about you but where i am we have a like an extremely lax dress policy at work and it varies like everyday i mean from jeans one day to business suits the next were it's pretty bad but it's true you know they tend to try to be you know real lax and supposedly the policy is like you know we you know we hire these wonderful creative people and we don't want to smush their creativity you know we want to go ahead and let them do what ever they want and you know you really will see people in in jeans one day and business suits the next well i'm kind of that way too i work in the legal department and where we are now what we're doing is some very big lawsuits that happen to have a heck of a lot of boxes of documents yeah and i get to toting around boxes of documents several times a day it always seems like i'm doing that and i can't see getting dressed up and wearing heels and stuff when you have to carry you know boxes of documents around so if i'm just gonna be there working in the litigation center and doing you know odds and ends and stuff with the boxes of documents i dress down but if we're going to have a meeting where we're having the attorneys come in or people from uh other party's attorneys and stuff then i normally dress up yeah and i'll wear a dress and hose and stuff yeah yeah you know we're kind of that way too i try to i'm the same way you are i kind of try to judge from day to day i know you know where i am we work a lot with the customers and we have a lot of government folks come in all the time and um-hum and you know if i know that they're gonna be there you know you you i try to really watch it and like you say you know really dress up and if i know they're not you know i i've been doing a lot of reorganization you know the last couple of months the same way you are you know and it's just so it's just impossible to crawl down on the floor and dig through boxes in a dress you know it is so um-hum that's right that's right a matter of fact i thought i had one funny story when um i was at TI the first year or so we were sent out to our record retention facility to look through two thousand boxes we had them in the warehouse and at that point it the warehouse was over across the road and it wasn't air conditioned uh and if we were there like in the middle of the summer it's unair-conditioned it was dusty and dirty um there was like a fan at the very end of the row and that was it and so we didn't really know we weren't supposed to we thought TI dress code was just dress appropriate to your job we wore shorts we didn't know that was a big no no uh-huh oh no and a supervisor from another area came up to us and you know this area where record retention is there's only a few people that work there and he should he knew who worked there he should have realized that we weren't regulars in the warehouse there uh-huh and he came up to us and he just said who's your supervisor well he called our supervisor and our supervisor's supervisor and it went up all the way to the head of facilities complaining that we were wearing shorts oh no he didn't at least say to us did you know you're not supposed to do that that could have alleviated a big problem we ended up getting called out on it oh how awful sounds like Mister Power Hungry but you know just yesterday though i saw a girl in the spin out here at Lewisville that had on a pair of shorts yeah uh-huh and i don't care you can call them split skirts and you can call them culottes all you want but these were shorts is all they were i mean i i don't care what else you call them you know if they're below the knee okay maybe you can call them split skirts if they're above the knee they turn into shorts you know and these weren't even really full ones i mean they had a problem out here with it last summer wearing these shorts that were you know the real wide full ones you know and because these weren't even those these were like um-hum pretty short black and they were very dressy they were black velvet shorts and she had on black hose and black heels and she looked very very nice hum but you don't wear shorts to work you know i mean as far as i'm concerned she was in violation and nobody says anything to them it's always been a big problem in Lewisville in the summertime you know if they just you know the management doesn't ever seem to want to take an um hum cut off you know that yeah no this is where we're going to draw the line this is shorts you know and and nobody will ever kind of take control and do that you know yeah hum so it always gets annoying because the rest of us are going well God we have a pair of those at home too it sure would be cool and comfortable to wear you know but well i've seen some people try to just come in like over the weekend because they want to use the TexTeller machine and they have said no yeah uh yeah and then during the week you see these women in the you know just because you put on a pair of hose with them doesn't make them not shorts anymore you know yeah i mean i've never seen them do it without hose i mean they always have hose on but still it's they're shorts i don't care what you say they're shorts you know well i think TI's dress code is pretty lax considering everything anyway you know i i know i didn't know that EDS has a very strict dress code i had a friend oh oh do they really definitely i had a friend who worked there for a year or so and they spell it out for men it's particular suits uh the pin stripe and the particular colors of shirts and wing wing tipped shoes oh it is definitely lined out oh my God women are not allowed to wear slacks she wears coordinated suits i could i couldn't afford to work there and a and a particular kind of shoe you know so high heel oh it is oh no spelled out when i was looking at her materials when she first started you know she had her benefits package and all that kind of stuff and it told about the dress code and it said uh-huh these are the color pastel shirts you may wear or white shirts with this kind of stripe in it for the men and this kind of shoe and hair just this way yeah TI says no shorts and no halters you know that's it and EDS is very particular about this hair cuts i mean it was like you can't have you know such and such facial hair no beards you know and just really detailed wow i don't know that that would be a good environment to work in i mean i i see i i am more i don't know about anybody else and a lot of bosses may say i'm nuts but i am more productive when i'm in pants i i am i work faster i get things done faster than when i'm in a dress and heels you know i it and it's weird but i it's i do i i can i can get so much more done if i'm dressed comfortable you know well the uh the time we were there at the warehouse we felt really bad because we had uh another person coming from Washington our outside counsel and she was told that we were gonna be in a warehouse but she really didn't get the idea that we were in the warehouse part of the warehouse not the office to the warehouse but the warehouse right and she came with skirts just like she'd be going into the office yeah and we'd try we'd try to say didn't you bring any pants or anything we're we're out here in the warehouse you know you you got your skid of you know that wooden pallet of boxes and you're gonna have to unload unload your skids look at the documents in the in the boxes and then repack your skid uh-huh you can't do that in a skirt poor thing and she and she was so she was so hot and miserable you know in the skirt she finally tried to go buy you know a pair of pants but you know i mean it was just completely miserable for her oh yuck yeah that's terrible that's terrible gosh well i don't know i just figure you know yeah sometimes i worry about you know if i go in in pants and i never i never ever ever go in in a pair of jeans you know but i'll go in in pants i mean today i had on a pair of you know navy blue dress slacks and a and a like a peach colored top and you know not cruddy but not a dress either and sometimes i wonder if stuff like that would will hold you back you know if you don't dress in you know your dress for success business suits everyday if um-hum you know if upper management doesn't notice that and remember that later on but you know i don't know if they do or not you know i see a lot of the managers and they're in jeans so you know some of our people in the legal department we have um assistants to the general counsel and it's funny because there's one that always wears a suit a matter of fact he's never seen without his jacket to the suit on buttoned really wow and then there's another one who's who's a little younger and a little more yuppyish and he's always kind of like in the khaki pants and you know a shirt and sometimes he wears the jacket to it uh-huh yeah and some of the patent attorneys have been real casual in their clothes and then other ones tend to always wear a suit with a very starched cotton shirt so that's just you isn't that funny you know with the you know the little suspenders or something on so we that's great we've kind of had a variety there but i think a lot of times it's it's mainly who they're going to meet with they're they're meeting with people that they know is gonna be dressed that way then that's how they are if there just gonna be meeting with TIers yeah like to talk about a patent kind of thing and the they're engineers that they're talking too they dress kind of like how the engineers are dressed and they're usually casual that's the way to do it i mean that's the smart way to do it it really is because your making you know if when they're meeting with the engineers who they know are going to be dressed down if they come in you know in a six hundred dollar three piece suit yeah it's gonna make the people they're meeting with feel very uncomfortable you know or it would me you know it's it's one of those slippery attorneys coming in here yeah yeah look at this slick guy i wonder what kind of money does he make uh-huh i can see it now well it was good to talk to you it was really enjoyable yeah this is this is kind of a fun project i've done i've done some of the other speech programs but we've never got to talk to another person it was always just talking to the computer so this is a little different it really is oh yuck yeah well it's kind of enjoyable i'm really looking forward to it well thanks a lot bye-bye yeah okay bye do you feel that uh drug testing is necessary at the workplace um i have mixed feelings about it um i don't particularly care for people who take drugs and uh it's a possibility of having accidents in the workplace but um i also feel like it's an invasion of privacy yeah i have some basic concerns about it as well uh not just the invasion of privacy but the the chance of uh false positive being being reported right right uh i have been drug tested in the past and it's not really a pleasant experience at work um-hum um-hum and uh it gives you the uh impression the uh impression that the company really doesn't trust the people that work for them right and you're pretty much uh assumed to be guilty until proven innocent by the test results right yeah yeah i have a lot of problems with it um i um i have been tested also several times and uh in fact it has always come up negative i mean but that's no problem with it yeah coming up negative but i do take prescription drugs and i'm always been afraid that those were going to come up and show something on any of the tests yeah well they make uh allowances for that if you report that at the time that you take the test yeah but there's always a chance that you forget and have to justify it later right or if the prescription say ran out or if you're using something that's uh older than older than the date uh on the package or whatever um-hum right right yeah but i agree with you though they uh they're trying to uh you know they're they're saying that you are guilty until proven innocent and uh and i don't really appreciate that at all yeah yeah if they do come up with a positive regardless of what uh what it was they detected uh we're required to go attend a uh a counseling session um-hum and uh that gets put in your permanent uh files on your record right it's just not not a real good uh thing to have on your uh employment uh records no no because this can follow you um at other places too i was reading uh this morning in the newspaper where it was talking about um they have companies or or organizations out now who will go and do background searches on uh employees before they ever hire them sure and if you get one of those false negative reportings and and you're fired from your job that's going to carryover into other jobs um no matter um you know if it's truth or not so yeah it can stick with you for a long time yeah uh according to uh to the way that that our test is set up apparently everyone is supposed to be tested within a five year period right and uh they they do it on a random basis i'm not sure how they can guarantee that everybody is going to be tested within five years if it really is random um-hum um-hum so i'm not sure exactly what they base that on well uh cause you work for TI also right yeah because uh i think what they say what they would uh take your name out of the hopper yeah um-hum sure so that whatever is left in the hopper you know it's it's um uh that's when you'd be tested and then when you were tested then it'd be taken out of there so that's that's how they said they would uh do it over a five year period okay well i'm not sure exactly if that's true though because i know people that have been tested more than one time um-hum and many have not been tested yet um well it's only been what a year two years uh couple of years yeah um-hum um-hum yeah it hadn't been i know i was called up right away it didn't no i was called up let's see yeah we started testing in January and i was called up right away in January okay it took them awhile to find me oh no well they they did all the all the top level managers uh-huh uh at first uh-huh and uh everybody else uh gets to take their turn right right so they called me in uh just a few months ago um-hum yeah but yeah you're right that wasn't a very pleasant experience right especially i felt like there was a camera watching oh no i never thought about that i i had some questions for the for the the nurse who was uh conducting the test in the health center though uh-huh asked her if she enjoyed her job what'd she say she thought it was different you get to meet a lot of people yeah on a continuing basis too so i try i try to introduce some levity there you know that was uh that was a really interesting because it was a great big room the bathroom it was it was a great big room and uh and i remember the the vents you know just right over the top of the toilet uh-huh yeah and and i just just knew i was being photographed you know i just i'm glad i don't have to go through that experience again yeah yeah well there are a lot of people who express uh much stronger feelings about it than i have yeah and in fact i know some people that uh probably will quit before being tested even though there's nothing to uh to worry about as far as i know from the test results just a matter of principle right yeah yeah well um i guess growing up in the sixties and uh i don't know that particular era and generation i think about it though whether i have some friends who are occasional uh marijuana smokers and oh yeah you know it's just a hangover i guess from uh from that particular generation and uh but yeah they're they're just adamant that they're not going to be you know tested and they're going to fight it and um you know try and um see what they can do that it's an invasion of privacy but i don't particularly care to uh you know to uh to get into drugs or anything else so it's not a problem for me but i uh i can kind of understand from the other point of view yeah well i know some people that i suspect are casual users of uh marijuana as well and i expect that they probably uh mended their ways uh in uh um-hum in response to this uh drug testing that they no longer uh even use anything like that on a casual basis right yeah yeah because it is a matter of of losing your job if you get caught say a second time um-hum and even the first time uh for these people are uh oh well on their way in on on the technical ladder or management and they're jeopardizing their positions yeah oh yeah yeah i i could really see t hat uh so yeah they'll just have to find other means of uh relaxing and yeah yeah but the one thing too that that i have a problem with is that well if marijuana and cocaine and the other those so-called uh illegal drugs you know what about alcohol well some companies have gone that far uh TI has not um-hum um-hum but others have and they're setting themselves up for uh more lawsuits i think than uh i think so yeah yeah but you know alcohol destroys you know so many families so now than we are so that's that's what i thought was interesting that uh there are still drugs out there and then there are those socially acceptable drugs yeah right i don't mind so much the fact that they test people but uh not questioning the validity of the results is is a problem because uh you know um-hum uh i i i fully expect that that any test results that comeback for me would be negative that in in the event that one would be positive there's no recourse other than get yourself a lawyer or go to this counseling session and admit guilt uh they won't accept anything else um-hum oh yeah yeah yeah because you'd be strongly into denial it's just like well we know you take it we've got the positive test results and you're going i don't i don't right yeah well if if you turn down the counseling they they will fire you right that's uh condition of employment right right yeah i think there's some flaws in it i i think their main objective is is good you know to make sure they have a drug free workplace but i do think that there are a lot of flaws in there sure and i understand that the government will not use that particular drug testing agency that that TI is using is that right um yeah because they're not as reliable as the government wants them to be i thought that's the only one that the government does use so oh well i heard just the opposite i'm not sure so i don't know it could just be rumors that spread around you know when they okay yeah there aren't just too many places uh that do testing like that where the government uh uh gives well gives them full reign uh trust the results because they have to prove on a continual basis that uh that they are meeting um their standards for false positives and whatnot um-hum yeah right um-hum they claim uh zero false positives ever and i find that very hard to believe oh yeah that that to me yeah it'd be very hard to believe too okay well uh hum is our five minutes up okay well it was nice talking to you okay bye i think yeah i'm sure it is i think that about covers what we want to talk about i enjoyed it okay sure bye well do you have any uh television programs that you watch regularly oh this is kind of tough i don't too often watch you know shows that are on on a regular basis uh-huh i don't have a lot of time and i don't really like some of them to tell you the truth i mean i don't think they have any redeeming value no but uh oh i watch things like uh Sixty Minutes every week uh uh-huh ooh it's kind of tough to think of some of the others although i do watch some of some of those frivolous things uh like on Thursday nights at nine o'clock when i get home from aerobics i will watch uh Knots Landing oh you will yeah just something like that for you know uh end of the evening type of thing but uh relax how about you well i watch um i like news programs like you mentioned and sometimes i will watch um like the cable news network evening news program um yeah i don't get that so i don't have that choice yeah i i like that i i watch that a couple of times a week um it comes on like at nine o'clock at night and i really don't have any like situation comedies that i watch regularly i i have seen that um uh-huh Murphy Brown that comes on Monday nights before and it's kind of cute and but i don't uh-huh yeah yeah there's a couple of those i've seen once in a while uh i can't think of the name of the one that has the uh military uh-huh uh fellow i mean he's playing a military part he's the husband of the girl on Designing Women oh the uh-huh right i know who you're talking about i haven't i have seen it i think maybe once yeah you know it was it was on one time when i saw it and you know it it's pretty cute i like that well i um i we really don't watch too many programs regularly my children like some of the morning children's shows when they're home they um i just have one son who's in kindergarten so in the morning they will like to watch like um yeah Eureka's Castle it's called it's just like a Sesame Street show but uh-huh and they watch a couple of shows like that but i don't watch any daytime TV at all yeah no i don't and uh i guess uh there's some uh things on channel thirteen that i watch pretty regularly uh-huh on Saturdays they have uh a variety of things uh and a lot of times i record it and watch it some other time but uh uh-huh they have programs on uh house repairs and how to build things and um they have a calligraphy show and i do calligraphy so i watch that oh oh that's nice and um they have a lot of cooking shows uh-huh and oh you know i'll just sort of have it on sometimes to just sort of pick up little tidbits from those i don't sit and watch them but but i enjoy some of it and especially if i'm uh cooking on a Saturday evening or something and one of those is on it kind of inspires me that sounds like a good idea i notice that um since we moved here that we we did get the cable TV and when the newspaper comes out on Sunday i sometimes read through the movies that will be listed uh-huh and i record some and then uh we have just totally cut down and we never go to like a video tape rental anymore because there's always plenty of things that we can record and then watch and then record over it something else yeah and so that's been really nice because if you decide one evening you would like to stay home and have a quiet evening and watch a movie then you have two or three saved yeah we do some of that in i'm fact i probably am more interested in watching some of the movies that are on TV than you know other kinds of things uh-huh well that's probably what i watch most frequently besides like news programs is the movies and they have a couple of channels that are like nostalgic older movies yes that i have really enjoyed that i'm seeing for the first time like the Marx Brothers and things like that yeah yeah those are pretty good i i like those old ones much better than some of the new stuff uh-huh right and so we we have really enjoyed that and it's really nice not to be running out some of the video rentals can be expensive and yeah well going to the movie can be unbelievable and um-hum right going and paying six dollars for a ticket for one person at the theater or something so we i have and it's so convenient at home and you can do it anytime you you take the notion yeah and so i have really enjoyed that but but there are i do have friends that watch programs like they want to see a particular program and they are either home watching it or definitely recording it they have some programs that they won't miss uh-huh i'm not that hung up on most things i mean if i miss something big deal yes well and things are repeated yeah that's true so often that you know if if i have seen just a program once chances are it'll be that exact same show if i ever decide to tune it in again yeah yeah the only one i've ever seen and it'll be showing again pretty funny yep but uh TV is something that we try to not um deliberately try not to get hung up on it like you say yeah we do too it too many other things to do and too much going on um-hum and we don't want our kids to to grow up thinking that that's what you do with your spare time right i agree so it's a little bit something we try doing and there's there's a lot of good children's programs that you could watch they could watch several hours every day uh-huh and you could say oh that's a good program for them because it's educational but still you want them to go out and do other things even if they're good programs you don't want them sitting there watching them right yeah anyway well okay well we probably exhausted that huh yeah that was pretty good i i like that and um i guess it's time to go okay i enjoyed talking to you yes nice to have spoken with you too bye-b ye okay good-bye uh being a former drug user whoa i uh i'd i guess i have to say at this point that i do approve of it uh-huh uh because i know that uh in using drugs i was not a good employee uh-huh and so i can see from the company's standpoint that there uh whenever you are an employee of the company you are using it's assets and uh and but you're also under their liability under the Workmen's Comp uh-huh uh on my job we had a lot of Workmen's Comp cases and where do you work uh i work for a tire company Modern Tire and uh it's also a retreading plant and that's where most of our uh injuries occur oh uh-huh and what we do is we'll have a drug test if if an if a a boy or a man uh has an accident then he's automatically uh given a drug trest right do they do it like you know within hours of the accident or is it yes when he goes to the doctor the first time yeah and so that kind of uh i don't know if it's been a deterrent or not because we have uh just started using it oh for the past year or so uh-huh yeah now we've let some people go uh that well it was found that drugs were used in their system now i don't know how TEC would handle it they haven't pursued it you know uh-huh uh if there's some uh problem i know there was one guy that we tested for preemployment for drugs who absolutely swore up and down that it showed that he was using amphetamines and he went to a a separate drug testing firm and they showed it negative yeah so i think the tests themselves are not really that cut and dried you know huh yeah yeah i think that's probably true too that's that's that's sort of scary uh-huh really and then i also had a friend who was uh just around some people that were smoking cocaine and he tested positive on cocaine now then you always wonder well is he just saying that you know yeah yeah yeah really really yeah yeah that's that's a bad situation i think that probably i think most companies now as far as entry you know exams require that i think they should um-hum yeah uh-huh i'm a TI employee and and and uh i'm i'm really gung ho for it in fact uh-huh i you know some of the places now um like IBM don't allow even smoking you know in the in the plant we we have designated smoking areas uh-huh right yeah but um i work in sort of a building that's that's not really it well it's on the campus of the TI facility but it's a little bit you know separated we lease the building and it's mainly it's a factory environment uh-huh and uh they they have designated smoking but it's just wide open it's not ventilated properly and i think that's bad but as far as the drugs you know being in the factory kind of environment that way yeah uh-huh uh-huh i think it's a it's a definite i think it's essential yeah because you're endangering everybody's lives if you've if it's something like that yeah in fact we've had the policy on just the random testing now for a couple years and uh uh-huh i i was giving my boss a hard time because i kept waiting for my name to came come up you know they never they never called me they never you know then finally the day we declared war was my time you're kidding no and so and and my boss has has gone for about like three times i think and i told him he's obviously in a high risk group the executives right right right and of course you know they they did specifically single them out when we started you know that they were going to do all them first the executives but uh-huh yeah wouldn't that be awful if you were which i thought was interesting if you were using and and oh lose your job and everything oh man yeah ooh yeah i can't believe i'd was so brazen before i'm like i say i'm a former drug user but uh i i uh-huh well uh i accepted Christ as my Lord and Savior and so i don't use drugs any more what kind of drugs did you use if you don't mind uh marijuana cocaine and amphetamines wow um yes uh-huh and all on the job too you know it had gotten that bad really well it's really lucky that you got away from that cause that's really it's it's life is so much more enjoyable really downward spiral uh-huh and i was losing jobs just from doing a poor job you know yeah yeah that's that's it i mean you know there's all kinds of drawbacks much less the drug testing yeah just life in general uh-huh that's right yeah well i'm well i'm definitely for it yeah plus you know you you want to think that that you're working with people who are not only putting out their fair share that's right but that are not endangering your life in some cases like uh my husband uh several years back worked for Motorola uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh and they had you know i mean it was a chemical handling type oh goodness yeah i mean and they have they have some serious chemicals out there you know like they have emergency shower where you just run in there and strip off and dump water you know that kind of thing yeah yeah and they had people out there using all sorts of drugs handling those chemicals oh my gosh and that's really that's really frightening so i think some place you know places like that it should be like mandatory like you know yeah uh-huh on on a on a greater frequency than maybe just you know the paper pushers like like i am right well i would think they would be well you well you'd think so but uh but they weren't i don't know if they do it until yet isn't that awful because when he was at course now it's been years now because it was before it was even before they had the the designated smoking type stuff you know at TI i forgot what i guess it was like eighty four uh-huh uh-huh eighty five something like that and they at that time they had no testing whatsoever yeah huh so that's scary yeah that's reminds me of uh i have a friend who was telling me about her brother who gets high all the time and i have just casually asked her what he did for a living and she said oh he's the supervisor of this chemical land fill you know where they go and dump all this toxic stuff oh Lord oh and i just you know went oh where yeah should we move let me move as far away as possible ooh yeah that's awful but i'm proud though that that um you know i grew up in the sixties and back then it was popular you know but people have really wisened you know become wise about drugs and uh-huh yeah yeah they really have a good campaign for the young people you know they know it's not smart so uh-huh yeah so i guess it was just a generational thing yeah peer group is the other way now instead of um-hum that's right and that's good that's the best way to stop it uh-huh that's yeah that it really is yeah well i think we did it okay well i enjoyed tack talking to you Cathy bye-bye it's good talking to you yeah bye-bye why do you think so few people vote then why do i think so few people vote i i think a lot of it is uh apathy um um for example uh when things are going good i think the voter turnout is less just because people figure why bother you know what's the difference especially when two candidates seem roughly equal um and in others cases you know they they see themselves as one voter in a million and they think what difference is it going to make whether i vote or not they they feel like one vote doesn't have an impact um-hum and i think a lot of cases like a lot of our minority issues the we had the ten four one verses the fourteen one election here in Dallas a while back and it lost well that was decided by a very small margin um and there were a lot of of minorities that wanted it to go the way that it didn't go but they also had very low voter turnouts especially like in the Hispanic community and i think in that case they've just they developed a distrust of the system and so they've chosen not to participate in it um-hum and i think that's part of it what part what part would you say the big brother aspect plays the people that don't want to be called for what do you think jury duty or or things that they've heard that says you know well they use this registration for this purpose or that so they just don't bother oh i've i've heard people say that i know it's it's a real thing and i think it makes a difference as to how many people vote apparently not being a citizen not not serving on jury duty is important enough to them that they don't want to have any say in uh politics hum okay and then what about the smaller election say some of the city elections uh even down to the uh school board type uh elections i guess there are so many that you can uh weed out the ones that you really want to partake in yeah yeah well last November was my first election in Dallas i've only lived in Dallas a little over a year and i went down this long list of judges that i was voting for and i mean i didn't know anything about any of these races i didn't know what the responsibilities of the judges were i didn't know anything about the individuals who's names were on the ballet and i'm going you know how can i possibly make an informed choice here um-hum so what's the point in voting for these people i i mean it you know i get just as good of results as if i through darts at a board right well it's a shame that uh that even the politician who wants to give give out good information about himself uh has trouble in virtually everything he does say that's positive or or even mediocre gets attacked from the other side such that he spends more of his time defending than he can putting forth any decent information uh and then once you get off the candidate's personal information then you want to get into an actual issue and then how the candidate feels about that um-hum there's there's very little room for or very little time to handle all the different things you'd like to know about a candidate and then unfortunately after you do get some of that information you may find out it weren't true to begin with so yeah you you think then that uh part of it is because the uh it flashes too much on the personal uh characteristics of the candidate rather than his uh job performance issues i would say that it's much easier to deal with the the the public the uh media that's that's giving the information to the public is much easier to deal with uh any personality quirk or any negatives that they've found or any skeleton in the closet um-hum than to try and first educate the public to the point where they can listen to either side of a given issue yeah uh and it's pretty difficult to deal with some of the issues lets say that Texas uh Texas State uh Railroad Commission has to solve when you don't even fathom what the implications are of they're decision so who would you care who got in that position you know i'd i'd say yeah i'd say there's a large number especially of urban young voters that don't know what the Railroad Commission does right and so they go you know who who who what does it matter who i vote for right i think well that's one thing i've noticed i've i've lived a couple of different places i've noticed Texas seems to have more elective offices than any place i've ever been so hence more apathy i guess or confusion well a lot more confusion you know i in in other towns i've never called upon to decide all this long list of judges i've never been called upon to decide you know we're we're voting for Railroad commissioner and and uh Land commissioner and that sort of thing and in other state these would be appointments of the governor um-hum we wouldn't be expected to cast a ballet on the subject hum boy that makes the governor's vote a whole lot more important doesn't it well it does yeah a lot more appointee's i guess makes him carry a lot more weight um-hum but it also means you've got a unified state government you don't have different departments pulling against each other that's probably well worth it then it probably be worth it just to do away with the cost of the elections and uh put it in the hands of maybe one man who can at least get his party together yeah yeah so hum the the the big problem i guess with the the mass media is you know uh you don't have time to educate the public on these matters because the public is not going to sit still and soak the message in um-hum i mean anything that can't be covered in thirty seconds or less they're not going to care about it right or or if you can't dramatize it and put it on Unsolved Mysteries then they're not going to you know they're not going to want to hear it do you find it convenient to vote the actual time of day type where you have to go and the line you have to stand in uh the the line what i waited maybe ten minutes in line it was it was uh a minor inconvenience it was certainly worth it to me i think did you go early in the morning or i went right after work so that was when the line is the longest after work hum that's interesting well where in my little district fortunately it is literally across the street i could walk over there as it were we live across from the school and so we uh-huh i drive out of my complex early in the morning and go over there usually before the polls even open and and vote right at the you know number one or two sometimes the third or fourth person in in line um-hum and i wait longer to to watch them set up than i do actually in the in the line itself but that gets me out of there at a time that i can go down Central and not be bothered by the the traffic as it were yeah because normally i'm i'm at work before seven so uh just stay a little later that as it were and and make the the effort to vote uh but unfortunately since there are so many other things that uh our city wants to vote on hum they don't they they tend to make the elections if it's a not important election as it were they only open a few of the poles so i don't always i don't always vote at the same place so it's a little bit more trouble for me to well this election's going to be held this date and i've got to go over here so you have to go a little out of your way huh yeah yeah and i've got to remember uh you know on this election i'm in this district in this election i'm for here and uh you know this precinct votes here um-hum and i would just assume in holding still and all vote in the same place as many times as they want yeah yeah i would also like better information on on what on you know what am i voting on and and who just some general statements about the candidates i guess this is the kind of thing you expect from the newspapers um-hum and i didn't see much of it like you know i see you saw a lot about the major races but a lot of the minor ones that you're being called upon to decide there's very little information on um-hum as far as you know what what is the duties of this political office and uh and what are the characteristics or what what are the issued statements and uh spoken goals of the uh candidates right i'd like to get probably wouldn't even hurt to have a section that says here's how this particular office affected you or could have affected you over the last several years you know these are the kinds of decisions that this particular judge or this particular uh Railroad Commission for instance does yeah if if you know if he he does do something or you pay attention to this or this is the guy to to blame for this if uh you didn't like what happened um-hum you are right there is no uh no such deal other than the small publication that uh uh League of Women Voters puts out it supplements that newspaper that i get a local newspaper they they published but uh nothing per se in the major newspaper and as hungry as they are for things to print you'd think they'd want to do that yeah well they the Dallas Morning News did publish a a section that covered the major races and it explained a lot to me about the individual candidates and helped me make a lot of better informed decisions but still uh you know it it left a lot of the the the local races the races unique to my precinct uh up in the air there is one thing that that did annoy me and that is the the my congressman last fall didn't have anybody running against him so basically i had no choice um-hum and i think uh in some districts you know there's a a party one party or another that has such a lock on it that uh you know why vote when it's decided already right that sort of attitude that's true with so many elected officials i guess there's just so many people to go around in some of those cases yeah hum well i hear someone calling me so i better let you go well we used the five minutes up yeah at least bye okay all right bye okay okay Bob um our project's painting um do you have any uh any thoughts on whether painting's a good idea or a bad idea well well of course uh it depends i guess on what you're uh oh oh what you're you're interest and abilities are so far as whether you're going to paint yourself uh i've painted uh like i said both interior and exterior myself uh not a lot of exterior but uh i've painted you know rooms and ceilings inside and you know and i usually find it uh pretty easy and and it's cheaper than hiring somebody else to do it oh that's yeah that's for sure um what kind of paint do you like to use it's um yeah yeah it well i i nearly always use a latex base uh especially for interior uh the brands uh you know vary but uh Sherwin Williams makes a pretty good paint and Jones Blair and you know Kelley i think makes pretty good paint so yeah then you don't have you don't have that mess to clean up when you use an oil oil base painting and boy i'll tell you oh yeah right right you know um um we uh i designed and built my own home about twelve years ago um and it was one of the uh you know the old New England saltbox so instead of painting because i figured when i got uh just a couple years older i'm not going to want to climb up on a ladder yeah so we put uh white cedar shingles on the house and let it weather naturally um-hum and the trim instead of painting i stained yeah so i figured instead of going out there and scraping and you know having a having to climb up on a ladder the stain kind of just uh it weathers um-hum so i eliminated that chore that i don't have to do that i stained the original stain and i stained once since then because it started fading a little bit um-hum but other than that um i'm like you i like to use a latex paint on the inside we've uh we've done some uh walls right yeah the ones we haven't papered we've done in uh uh latex uh uh pastels yeah yeah and clean up is is uh is a joy uh a little soap and water and air dry them and you don't have to worry about that right yeah the what kind of what kind of equipment do you use uh i mean just brush and roller or yeah a roller and uh i bought one of those that you can screw in uh uh a three foot extension um-hum so you can climb up on the walls and the ceilings we didn't paint the ceilings was just natural plaster uh-huh so i didn't want to get into doing anything there it's just uh so far it's okay you know we haven't had any problems with it yeah that's uh i i did a had to paint the uh my brick my house is brick on the outside except for the overhangs and you know like a a little bit of uh what do you call the the eaves and stuff and uh yeah so you're lucky too you don't have to worry about going out there and scraping and painting and yeah yeah but uh those overhangs and things do have to be painted you know every four or five years and i bought a uh a power roller that uh it's really designed for indoor use but it's got an uh you know an extension and a pump you just put your can of paint down in the in this pump and it pumps the paint up through the roller how do you control the amount of flow or anything and and it works pretty good well it's got a uh got a regulator on it that you just set the set the deal on it you know for the the flow and then it's got a trigger on it that you can release to let the pressure pump the paint up into this handle well is there a little electric pump you put in there yeah it's an electric just a little electric pump motor that uh turns on and off you know builds up pressure so that it you know it kind of pushes the paint up this uh up the extension hum that's interesting it's a uh Black and Decker brand and and it works pretty good like i said it was designed for indoor use you know for painting walls and ceilings but i found it worked pretty good for outdoors uh yeah there's certain times of the year of course that uh that it probably wouldn't do very well because of the temperature and stuff but but uh the right time of year it works pretty good you really have a problem down there with with having to repaint with with paint blistering or peeling off or well if if you buy a good grade of paint uh you don't really uh of course Texas heat you know you it really gets pretty hot outside so you have to be sure and get a good grade of paint oh that's there for direct yeah the direct sun beating on it yeah yeah that's right for the direct sunlight and stuff right but uh but i i haven't really found it too bad we've lived in our house about uh oh thirteen years i suppose and and really really only painted once and you know it was new when we bought it and we painted one time since then but you know it's probably going to be time to paint again in a couple of years so you're in the same position that i'm in i've i've only done mine twice and you've you've done yours twice too well once was on there and then you just had to do it once right right so and uh yeah on the on the interior do you do uh do y'all have a lot of uh plaster walls that the the uh color is built into the plaster so you don't paint a lot no no oh yeah i i watch uh some of these TV programs you know how to do it's you know you fix it oh like This Old House you fix it so yeah This Old House and some of those and i i really haven't you know haven't paid a lot of attention to to whether or not you do painting on on top of plaster or not so hum so i hadn't hadn't really thought about that so they just when they when they put the plaster walls up they just tinted the plaster well that's what my impression was that they you know that they were just white well they're white walls you know unless it's white if you want white walls then white plaster is uh doesn't need to be painted or that was my impression anyway i'm not sure hum yeah that's interesting no ours you know wouldn't they were just regular plaster walls but uh yeah uh-huh and then some of them you know like the kitchen and the bathrooms we uh we had put paper up right yeah and actually the uh bedrooms upstairs too but but the rest of it and i i just don't like papering i painting is is a lot easier yeah that's yeah yeah well we really have uh our our bedrooms i guess are the ones that have uh that have to be painted uh we've got paper on uh our dining room and kitchen and bathrooms and then we've got paneling in our family room and game room all right so you don't have a a lot of paint either so but we don't have a lot of paint inside of course the ceilings are you know all all have to be painted uh-huh yeah but uh but they don't require a lot if the only the problem that i've seen in the past is like when you've got uh if you've got natural gas and heat of course you don't in the east i suppose you don't have a lot of natural gas heat but if you don't have your y our heat adjusted your gas adjusted right then you can get some stains you know on the ceilings and you know ceiling ceiling oh they get yeah yeah and that's something we don't we get uh we've got on oil fired hot water baseboard um-hum yeah so and it doesn't generate uh there's a little dust on it once in a while but it's not even like hot air yeah right so and we don't use gas in fact there wasn't any gas in the in the street when we built there was no houses around yeah um so we didn't have that problem um yeah so i've got a wood stove um-hum and i thought for a while that that may create a problem but it hasn't it's wood it's uh yeah if it's been a dry air tight yeah so that even that doesn't doesn't create a problem but i think uh yeah yeah more and more people are getting away from paint they're they're doing other things um especially with the oil base yeah yeah yeah but the paneling and the wallpapering and the and that kind of stuff are alike yep yep the and there's there's less maintenance um-hum yeah it's and it's been nice to not have to worry about painting the these rooms that we've got to have the paneling on them yeah you don't have to of course if you decide you want to change the paper and you know you've got just about as much problem as yeah that's right so well we did do that we we stripped the paint off or the paper off of one of our you know off of our part of our house and then repapered it and it's that was not any fun but uh we stripped and then had somebody else come in and do the actually put the paper up next time i think i'll do it the other way around let them strip and i'll hang the paper oh i hate hanging paper that is oh that's one of the jobs that i just i'd do anything else but i'll i'll um uh-huh yeah yeah but papering and uh and and putting up uh drywall for the plaster i hate that stuff too you know i just contracted that stuff out and yeah yeah that's yeah i did the papering you know when we built but that's not my uh that's not my cup of tea yeah it's there hanging the hanging the drywall is not uh not a lot of fun you got to you got to really pay attention and and know pretty much what your doing with that to get it up and get the the uh seams and everything yeah covered up just right and all that so it's so what are the other questions that i'm actually i had a house um my home before this one was uh was a Cape Ann and i wasn't up and down too that was uh that was kind of high and that was painted um oh yeah they are we bought that and it was uh the paint was uh so-so i had scraped i had to do a lot of scraping and then i put uh uh water base paint over the uh oil um-hum and it was eight years before i had to do it again oh that's and uh and the manufacturer recommended that uh he gave me uh i can't remember what the solution was and he said just uh wash your house down with it um-hum and then uh you know with a long brush and then just hose it all down and i had the whole yard was full of soap suds yeah and he said just paint over that and we sold the house oh well twelve years ago yeah yeah and i don't think they've repainted since well now that's so that's held up and that's an oil base on the bottom and then a water base and it was right i had uh i had put one coat of of uh over that water base and then before we sold it there was another one and i'd wash the house down and all that um-hum yeah and it's it's held up so what kind of benefits do do you have in your job that you think is uh very important health care health care like dental number one dental and medical yes yes i'm fortunate in that i was able to take early retirement from my company last year and being able to do that i was able to keep my uh health insurance that the company pays for which and i had to pick up my own life insurance uh-huh and my wife who works at the same company was able to add me to to the uh dental insurance right so i was really fortunate i really was so just this so you think that the uh a good company will provide good health i think they will as long as they can but the problem obviously is the cost of health care as you know it's just going completely out of sight right i hear that's like one of the major uh the major costs to companies to corporations nowadays it is very much so it's a billion dollar problem you know every year uh our company had it doesn't apply to me thank goodness it applies to you know to the younger employees that they're having to pick up you know more of the uh health insurance cost you know themselves the deductibles are going up and the co-payments are going up um-hum right and i'm concerned that's just you know the beginning of it see the problem i have with it is that i don't have a job oh yeah so i don't have and i'm still in in school i'm still in college that's a problem too yeah um-hum right and so i don't i don't know firsthand of these benefits um-hum right but i i do agree with you that health health insurance is one of the major ones i don't know about dental i mean oh i dental is is kind of like uh you know you're asking for uh too much um-hum to for me i think it's like uh you know uh you're you're expecting too much from a company if something happens it happens and they'll pay you for it but um-hum um-hum to actually have you know big coverage for something like that um-hum well actually excuse me our dental insurance you know it's it's good it's certainly better than nothing it's not you know it's not super you for unfortunately in my case and you sound like a younger guy so you probably don't have it you know i do have some dental problems and it's very very expensive right i'm only twenty one and if your blessed with you know good dental uh situation you are extremely lucky you really are i've had a lot of problems i still have some ongoing problems mainly because back when i was growing up um-hum you know we didn't know about fluoride i was raised in a small rural town in Oklahoma you only went to the dentist when your tooth actually began to hurt you know there was no such thing as preventive dentistry back then right exactly yeah so the younger people you know uh are are really uh really better shaped than than people of my generation or for the most part um-hum but uh dental insurance is important to me it is not as important as uh as health insurance you know if i had to rank them as health right so uh for a health insurance what do you think would be a uh a good health insurance with a a low deductible and a high premium or do you prefer the lower premiums with a higher deductible oh gosh that's that's the general you know you you know you almost need to know the family situation you know and you know number of kids fortunately i have two children and they're both grown and are covered you know under their own plans so i don't i don't have medical you know expenses for them per say uh i guess if i had to choose i would be willing to pay more you know to get to get better coverage uh-huh i guess it also depends on how many how many times you're going to use it now we that's right that's right and also we i say we uh i'm retired from Texas Instruments and they're just they're like most everybody else you can't just you don't drop into a hospital and demand you know a thousand dollars worth of tests you know or you think you need to be hospitalized but there's only a certain i mean you can go anywhere you want to go but there's only approved uh health care centers you know that uh that they will pay you know the maximum amount right if you choose to go you know you pick up the difference according to the emergency it doesn't make any difference you can you know you can go wherever you need to go right so also they were doing for a long time they were doing the company was paying for second opinions uh-huh to doctors but they have since dropped that i guess it got to be you know not cost effective too expensive more expensive for them to do that then right so they have dropped the uh second opinion type thing but before you uh allow yourself to be admitted to the hospital you really there's a telephone number that you have to call you know and they will tell you exactly you know what they will pay for it um-hum so that that's pretty good and if you yeah if you want to so at least you you know you wouldn't have any surprises you can order any type of you know service you want but you stand a good chance you know having to pick up at least part of the bill yourself um-hum so the so i guess that if when i get a job and i and i look into the health insurance that they're going to pay for then i should really look really really deep into the policy um-hum absolutely you need about even probably the very first thing i i should look at huh absolutely do you have a family no not yet i see well it will become even more important you know when and if you do um-hum but i would really check that out because i'm concerned in coming years it's going to be you know just a horrendous burden to especially the younger folks what i'm really scared about and you know i'm i don't know firsthand but i it seems to me that like you were saying earlier that the deductibles are getting bigger and bigger um-hum right and that's scary because you know in the end you're getting insurance for basically nothing that's right i mean something really really really serious has happened for you you know to to make it worthwhile and then that that that that that defeats the purpose of insurance um-hum right yeah absolutely absolutely um you know some companies can't can't even afford any longer you know to carry the insurance they're just dropping it you know they don't have any choice it's bankrupting them yeah but i'm i am and very fortunate in that i was able to retire you know with with health benefits yeah that sounds like a big big asset to do that oh absolutely absolutely same to you well it's been nice talking to you i guess i'll uh maybe see you again sometime okay you take care of yourself good luck to you thank you bye-bye you too bye well i um i haven't really lived in a lot of big cities i mean i'm living in Dallas now Plano is outside of Dallas but um so i don't really have a lot of experience with air pollution huh-uh but i know when i lived down in Houston on the outskirts of Houston there were some towns like Pasadena that had oil refineries huh-uh and um if you would drive by there like on your way to the beach or something huh-uh there would just be dumping this huge amounts of smoke into the air and it always smelled really bad we know that that was huh-uh really really really bad for the atmosphere what have you got up there well i i live out in the country so that part is good uh we're maybe one hundred miles from Pittsburgh which has a lot of pollution from their plants uh-huh and right now in our area were fighting against a toxic waste incinerator oh no and uh it won't be too far from where we live and everybody really has been you know fighting against it because we just we do not want it well we don't want one any place sure we would like the uh industry to do more to take care of the uh waste products before they turn to incineration because we feel that uh the small percentage that they're going to be putting into the air is too much you know the uh yeah and it's just i mean it's just so bad that there is just so much going into the air and and the little bit you say that there putting in here and there and everywhere it all adds up huh-uh huh-uh and plus all the problems in uh the Middle East with all that smoke and oh that has to be terrible over there yeah so it's just um why are we doing this to ourselves i just don't know but um i you know what really amazes me about like that Pasadena area and the oil refineries huh-uh huh-uh is that there would be houses and people living just really close to it i mean between the freeway and the oil refinery you would see a neighborhood and yeah huh-uh you just thought well it's obvious that there's a lot going up in the air there and what comes up must come down yeah yeah breathing it we're breathing it all the time and we yes and and how if they have all of those um toxicity i mean it there's signs around saying how dangerous it is and then here you are living close to next to it just doesn't make too much sense um-hum um-hum no and i figure we're paying to take care of this toxic waste no matter who does it So huh-uh and they have shown some of the industries have been real good at uh uh doing their part in uh reducing the amount that they have huh-uh uh they've reused some of it uh it can be recycled a lot of their things huh-uh and that they've shown that it uh to begin with apparently it does cost more um-hum but once they get started it's really it saves them money in the end and it cuts down on the end product that has to be dealt with some other way um-hum and if they would all that's what that's what we want done is we want industry to take you know more responsibility in taking care of it well um individual companies and things are so selfish and their desires to save a few dollars and and that they don't care about the environmental impact that they make huh-uh huh-uh they're greedy it's money is what is it's it's the money uh-huh yes they're making fantastic amounts on these things and uh even the incinerator the money and the income that they're going to make off this is you know just astronomical um-hum well have you ever visited um like Los Angeles or any place that's ever it's kind of known that it has uh pollution in it's air we've never been we went as far as as uh like Las Vegas and Yellow Stone Park we did go we should have gone the whole way over but we didn't um-hum uh-huh but i understand that we have an aunt that lives out there and when she was visiting here she would look up at the stars and she said how wonderful it was to be able to look into the sky and see some of the things that she saw well it's uh-huh um-hum she said they couldn't see those things out there um-hum because of the smog and everything that's so awful well what about in New York i guess you've gone that way maybe no never been in New York i don't want to go there yeah pretty funny have you been there well i've been to New York i have um relatives that direction i have it's um where are you close is it close to Phoenixville Pennsylvania oh um no i never heard of that one because i have family there and we're near Pittsburgh Clarion University oh huh-uh it's pretty neat it's it's kind of northwest part of Pennsylvania that's beautiful country up that way i know it's um very lush and pretty up in the back in the east it's really huh-uh you sound very young are you a young person well i'm thirty one thirty one you're young seems kind of old to me no you're young you have a lot of life yet and these we have some people who say well this isn't going to affect me this air pollution huh-uh uh older people or they think they're far enough away from something um-hum that it's and they don't realize these things are going to affect everybody and if you're older it's not going to affect you that way you have grandchildren you have children uh nieces nephews whatever friends yes uh everybody is going to be affected by it that's really true and we all you know need to be willing to help pay a little bit like i've heard some people uh grumble about their uh cars passing their emission tests and things and huh-uh how they've had to how it's more expensive and things and i thought well it's so much better huh-uh they say it has really made a difference though uh-huh now see we don't have that here yet oh you don't no we don't have that testing in that down here yet hum but they i have read that that that it has really helped where the problem is greater where the population is greater uh-huh and that it has made a difference well i really think it must i think every i mean well think about how many automobiles there are um-hum um-hum and each is putting out like we have a car an older one of our cars is an older car and every time you start it from the tail pipe it makes a black spot on the cement um-hum um-hum um-hum and you know that that is a sign something's coming out yeah yeah and that's all cars are doing that and it's really polluting the air yeah yeah if you have to put a price on it which is more valuable life or paying a little more huh-uh and it's also it's causing of lot of the real terrible suffering like cancer and things um-hum we sure wouldn't want um-hum so much more people suffering from that yeah and like i said i think you have to pay for it no matter what you do you with it because it's industry we're paying industry to make the products and we're helping pay for there making these end products that are toxic waste then we have to pay for them to pay somebody to carry it away someplace huh-uh huh-uh then they put it in the dump some place and they find out well this dump doesn't work so we have to clean this up and move it someplace else We end up paying for it again now we're going to end up paying for it again by having it burned in these large incinerators and we're paying to have our air polluted and our water streams polluted huh-uh pretty sad or the where they want to put the one area they want to put the incinerator is right in the middle of the Clarion the two water sheds that feed Clarion river oh no and you know it just boggles our mind that they can consider even putting it there because huh-uh if that water gets contaminated it will go on down to Pittsburgh it will you know it affects so many people um-hum and it's just hard to think that they could allow them to do things like this no no it's scary it's scary huh-uh it really is it's really awful well i've really enjoyed the conversation it's helped me to think more about some issues that i need to be thinking more about it is really a concern huh-uh its a and it's instead of waiting until it directly affects me like you say it's important to be involved ahead of time well you have a good day huh-uh um-hum well you too thank you huh-uh bye bye-bye where do you get most of your current events oh well when the war was on i was watching the T V a lot uh-huh but um i haven't been doing it so much now that it's calmed down yeah yeah i was i was uh we don't have cable so we were watching C N N a lot and then trying to switch thank goodness for remote control uh-huh yeah we were switching from one station to another and in between keeping the radio on yeah C N N coverage was really good it was extraordinary yeah we um um and then you know couldn't wait for the newspaper reminded me of when i was younger the uh the time of Watergate and just couldn't get enough of it yeah yeah but uh it kind of get wrapped up in it yeah um i it was the first couple of nights sitting up and watching T V late into the evening and you just wanted to get the latest news what was happening yeah kind of like watching the Olympics huh kind of like watching the Olympics yeah yeah you just couldn't you couldn't put it down you couldn't put it down yeah after a while though it started getting a little repetitive it ran out of news it did yeah it was like you know that what was it two steps forward one step back yeah and uh but occasionally you know you'd stay in tune just long enough to get the latest different tidbit or a different angle and uh you really became addicted to it for a while right right do you uh normally read the newspaper every day i try to um the newspaper comes uh in the morning and i leave for work at seven huh yeah yeah and i usually don't get a chance to sit down until after work the what the Post pretty good newspaper uh-huh and at that point i try at least try to get through most most the front section and maybe you know one or two other sections yeah i don't i don't regularly watch news or uh newspaper i would say i get probably most of it from my friends you know they finally told me hey there's a war going on oh okay uh-huh where do what what newspaper do you get uh there uh just the Raleigh local paper how does it how does compare have you can you compare like how does it compare to the Post oh it's it's it's not even a comparison yeah that's funny because every once in a while if my husband and i have traveled or something um and we pick up a local paper we're really shocked even in a major city at how local it is it's really provincial yeah yeah the news is the same way the news local news here is kind of lousy is it really i mean it's not much different than when i lived in Roanoke Virginia which is really small town that's that's maybe because we get so you know we're so jaded with the Post uh yeah which is really international and and it keeps reminding me you know that this we're we're really in an in an isolated different situation here and i keep saying no wonder the rest of the people in the world vote for in the country vote the way they do i mean yeah that explains it but uh i probably do watch more T V because i get home and in between say cooking dinner or something if i can catch a five or six o'clock news right right i watch that usually uh before we settle down uh depending what time we get to bed we'll usually watch the ten or the eleven o'clock news we have a ten o'clock news here at night and that's ideal uh-huh um yeah because because by ten thirty i start to fade so uh i'm in graduate school so i have a really weird schedule and i don't know i really don't have time for T V and newspaper just i wouldn't i wouldn't have time to read it so i'm what are you studying like yeah i remember when i was in school yeah finding the latest thing out from my friends is usually the most uh time effective yeah yeah no i can remember way back back in those days when i was in school the i think the only time we only really watched the news and this tells you how old i was was during the Cuban missile crisis yeah uh i we could just we were all centered around that television yep what's neat is seeing history happen you know that's exactly right and i'd i guess that's it yeah although i do worry that how easy this one was might be a bad lesson uh to the to the younger people um you know than there is the other generation yeah um in North Carolina there was a lot lot of service men from here you know and people really saw that oh that's true yeah yeah saw it first hand that was probably the best part of the news was the uh some of the person human interest stories yeah some of it got a little i i don't know i thought it was a little too personal that they were digging each other life uh-huh yeah yeah little too much maybe does it does it bother you that uh at this point in your life that you're not getting more direct news or uh no not really what are you studying i'm in computer science okay yeah um i guess i see it as information age yeah how old are you i'm twenty five okay then i'm see i'm about twenty years older yeah and i really do i do rely i do miss it i do rely on the news and uh i i guess i regret i don't get enough local really local we get some local papers but i guess i'm more interested in the national or international news uh-huh it's almost getting to the point where there is there's too much that overload news overload yeah you shouldn't even worry about most of the stuff i mean i don't know it's a little near sighted but uh yeah but well it's hard i'll i'll tell you though it is hard when you go to vote i mean there are so many issues and there're so many people running that you know unless you have some way of evaluating it yeah yeah and i guess the news does help well it was really nice talking talking to you okay okay did it work out your first time all right i hope so okay alright bye-bye take care bye-bye okay well like i was saying Burlington's crime it doesn't involve children and what you see on the TV's from you know in Washington and New York so what i believe the people want the subject is is big city crime which is something that i don't have any first hand experiences about but i have you know concerns and i have a few ideas of um um-hum how to combat it i mean i don't i don't think uh ideally you know you need money to do everything so that's one thing that um-hum that's one thing that that's that's crime that you can't fight it if you need that money so right yeah well when uh we lived in San Antonio i grew up around San Antonio and it's always been a very large uh city and increasingly growing it's has kind of the split population um there's a lot of retired military uh individuals that live there and then there's a very large Hispanic population there and the one thing that we noticed that over the years has gotten worse and worse is Hispanic uh gang crime in the city and that is uh been the worse thing that we've seen happening uh oh does it spread out of the neighborhoods into the more the uh retired people's community or does it stay in the bad neighborhood um the majority of the actual gang crimes like the the drive by shootings and stuff stays in the neighborhoods but the crime spreads out into the more affluent divisions through robberies rape and uh car crime there's a very large uh or very high percentage of car theft and San Antonio San Antonio's not far from the border to Mexico so a a lot of the uh cars go to uh you know hack shops and they take them apart and a lot of them go over the border especially like Mercedes a lot of those those in the the Z uh the Z cars the Datsun cars end up over the border and uh so that's a big concern if you live there is to really lock your car up very much so very much so in fact um for a while there uh they had downtown if you were to come come to a stop light they had a a rash of where people were uh when people were stopped at stop signs that people would get in their car and hold a knife and hold them up so now ever since then when you drive into the city most people keep their doors locked while they're in the car until they get down there and once you've reached the the river walk area which is the tourist area it's usually pretty safe during the during the day if you're just kind of cautious and don't go down the back streets or alleys and um you know or or alone if you stay with the groups and along the area where they have the the river patrol cops it's very nice but at at evening um again you they have the high tourist area the river walk area which is nice but you don't want to get off the beaten track um there's a lot of parking garages there because parking is very tight and so you don't want to get caught in the parking garage um alone oh my it sounds like um San Juan Puerto Rico we were there just well for a lay over and um well it wasn't a lay over we were we had um-hum we were we had we were staying at the other end of the island and we drove into San Juan to catch our plane it was at night and this boy really wanted to go on the beach and they look at you crazy you don't go on the beach well it's a big tourist town um-hum um-hum you know don't they don't people go for a walk on the beach at night and they said no it's very safe in the daytime but at night they even have the policemen come around at dusk um-hum um-hum and sound their sirens pretty much telling people be wary you know and get off the beach it's just so sad you know it is just really so sad you know it is just really so sad because you can't enjoy anything any more um in San Antonio i don't know what the answer is uh education i think is a lot of it um so many of the kids are are drop outs um uh there's a lot of drugs that go on and that they just have hopeless lives they they lead themselves down hopeless tunnels i think education helps a little bit there um they again i don't know really what steps there are that they well what they what they say they try to do is to get the kids um early and young and what we have here in Burlington which uh-huh it doesn't cost a lot of money but they have a kids council that they have all these after school activities for kids they set up uh-huh uh-huh kids with elderly people in the winter time they shovel their snow they have a big brother big sister program they have bottle drives they have cleanup outings uh and they have also organized fun activities like gyms going to the beach and playing volleyball at the beach in the summer and they have gyms open and it seems that the younger you can get them and get them involved with programs uh-huh after school you might keep them but you again you need that one on one uh-huh like a big brother trying to keep the younger kid you know tell him hey stay in school it'll get better you know so that your mom doesn't have a job and uh-huh she doesn't work you don't know you can be better than that You don't have to live on the you know for a street life uh-huh that's good that sounds like they've got a lot going on there but yeah but it's so cheap they don't have a problem here i mean um they can deal with that scale uh-huh they might have five hundred troubled youths when you have five thousand troubled youths plus when you're getting into the well the kids now it's twelve years old and they're uh-huh selling drugs and they've got a fifteen year old that's their boss that is carrying a gun uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh it's just it's the morals of the people which i mean i guess we everybody's responsible for the society but if i had a child that that did things so bad it's not they don't care about anybody these people they're stealing from they're just the big bad rich guy uh-huh uh-huh and we don't have it so we deserve it and we should take it uh-huh yeah i don't know how you combat that i i don't know where you start or with a lot of these kids um so many of them all they see is just the gangs and unless you can take them out of the environment enough to where they don't have the peer pressure from the gangs as soon as they come home from school yeah well i think a lot of it is the parents are totally irresponsible too we're talking these kids are fourteen years old The parents might be thirty years old oh yeah uh-huh and i'm thirty years old and i'm kind of irresponsible but i have the morals that keep me from you know if i was going to go out and drink or do something i wouldn't do it in front of my child these people you know they bring their their Johns home and they bring their drugs home and the kids are just sitting there in the same room uh-huh it's just that they have absolutely no no morals and it's really sad uh-huh and i don't know how you combat that i really i don't know what the answer is to that problem you know but i like your idea of education i mean if the parents aren't supplying it they've got to get it from someone else from the schools uh-huh uh-huh yeah and what do those kids do they get it at school and come home what do they do then i i feel i feel for them i don't know how to make it better for them or you know unless because it they can't remove themselves they can't just leave and say okay well it's not acceptable i'm leaving the big city mom and i'm i'm going off you know when they're ten they have to live in it and yeah it's really sad like if they did have a big brother big sister program those those people trying to help the kids the parents might have hostilities towards them uh-huh right i think so and uh you know like you're judging us and i'm not good enough to raise my child which basically is true uh-huh it it it's i'm glad i don't live in a big city uh-huh yeah just because i mean not just because i wouldn't feel safe it's just because that i would be reminded every day of something that i don't see and i might see it on a you know a Sixty Minute special yeah uh-huh no in San Antonio it was like every day it was just a matter of who was shot that night i know it but San Antonio is considered a nice clean city believe it or not i mean they have all kinds of nice write ups about it uh-huh oh yeah but but any big city has a bad section but there's a lot of them it's very prevalent a lot of the crime is very prevalent yes they're very bold it seems uh-huh very much When we moved here to Monterrey it was a big change because it's such a small community we're just above Carmel and um there's hardly most everybody seems pretty well employed around here and um those that aren't there's Celinas which is about a fifteen minute drive which is mostly migrant workers and there's a lot of crime there um migrant Hispanic farm workers people that are down and out and uh they all seem to congregate in Celinas not so much here in Monterrey so it's it's pretty quiet you know we walk the streets at night and uh people run in the park and you know you're just have your normal smarts about you then you really don't have to worry or really even uh even in the worst crime areas in Burlington i i can walk the streets i wouldn't i if i did it every night uh-huh i think there would be trouble in our house so you wouldn't get confronted or anything right but i don't think you would uh someone might grab you mess around with you but they're not going to grab you steal your your money and slit your throat which in a lot of big cities uh-huh yeah i mean that's what you your going to have to expect that to happen people are just totally unfeeling like uh uh-huh oh uh-huh uh i didn't know that about Burlington i'll have to keep that in mind hi hi this is Norma Smith i'm Jerry Crow from Dallas pardon i'm Jerry Crow from Dallas hi Jerry uh where where you from i'm in Blacksburg Virginia in Virginia golly right down uh southwestern part of the state in the mountains oh i had first had thought this was just Texas Instruments but apparently it's not just Texas Instruments oh no no they've uh got volunteers apparently any all over the country yeah i've talked to some people from Attleboro uh Massachusetts uh-huh uh several of those people are you a TI employee uh-huh yeah i work in Lewisville which is just outside of Dallas i see uh-huh well our topic is uh TV shows you ready to get started well TV shows yeah what we like about them our favorites and so forth uh yeah i guess i am okay i'll go ahead and punch one okay fine Jerry okay i guess my favorites are probably the the uh news format programs like Hard Copy Sixty Minutes Twenty Twenty uh Current Affair things like that uh-huh we watch a lot of that also we watch uh CNN a lot yeah and then i think one of my favorite shows is LA Law yeah we don't have cable unfortunately so we just get but we've got plenty of local stations to look at uh-huh but uh uh we have cable here yeah about the only reason i would want cable probably is is for some of the uh sports programs i see that they don't show local right yeah like HSEN ESPN but the music movie show uh cables or movie channels they show the same shows over and over and over well that's right and we never have signed up for those i just haven't been interested in what they generally have on and um and they're usually would be just as happy not to have them in the house yeah but uh do you have small kids no nope we uh our family's grown in fact we've just been retired for about a year we took early retirement and okay oh just really enjoying ourselves i wished i could do that i've been TI thirty two years is that right yeah but i'm only fifty seven well so i've still got a few years to go uh my husbands fifty five and i'm a couple of years older well he's fifty seven i'm a couple years older than that time goes by yeah yeah but he was with IBM fa thirty years yeah and decided he'd had enough of it well i've had enough of it but unfortunately they don't pay enough for early retirement do you still have children do you have children at home no huh-uh no all my kids are grown married right well our daughter in Texas is working for TI uh on a part time basis so that's how we found out about this calling uh-huh yeah but uh every once in a while i like to watch some of the old movies i watched a Clint Eastwood movie last night um-hum well we watched the ACC play-offs or i guess yeah oh yeah uh in in fact it's on tonight rooting for Duke University rooting for Duke University yeah yeah it ought to be a good uh good game tonight yeah that's on right it's on again tonight it it doesn't start until seven o'clock our time so we still got another hour um-hum uh are you all behind what time is it there it's six o'clock here now it's uh it's seven o'clock here right seven o'clock so you all are behind us right we've just been watching the national news yeah but uh i wish our time were like yours and then we could get i like to watch Johnny Carson and watch the eleven o'clock news but it makes it so late yeah makes it so late well we're fixing to go on daylight saving time uh next this next weekend uh-huh i think we do to so we have to run our clocks up forward an hour and i sure do hate to loose that hour of sleep in the morning i hate it too i just would rather stay the way it is yeah but uh well i guess like like like i said my favorite show what's your favorite shows or you like the news formats i like i like the i like some of the dramas yeah shows and i like mysteries yeah i like uh the true life adventures too but uh-huh we like uh we get the uh Financial News Network yeah and we like to watch that check up on what's happening with all the stocks and yeah i i don't uh watch too much of the of the uh network shows i all i like to watch uh let's see some of the the uh prime time shows that i like to watch like i said or other news formats but then every once in a while i'll watch Star Search uh-huh uh but uh not too many of the situatio n comedies do i care for no i don't care for those and i'm definitely not a soap fan too much the only crazy comedy i really like is Saturday Night Live yeah or uh i do you ever watch that yeah and i like uh Totally Hidden Video uh-huh we don't watch that much and uh Super uh what is it uh uh Bloopers and Super Practical Jokes right uh-huh but um uh i don't know how people stay at home and watch soaps and get involved in them but no i don't either i just don't have any interest i guess plenty of people do yeah they had a program on the other day about people that were addicted to soap operas yeah in fact i think you can even uh order a magazine that keeps you up to date every day of what happened on every particular soap in case you miss it uh-huh but uh that that's not real life to me so uh no i think it'd be an awful waste of time yeah well i enjoyed talking with you and well enjoyed it too Jerry and and how how's you all's weather up there you cold uh today it was pretty chilly and windy yeah the sun was out bright but it was kind of cold yeah i guess it was probably in the fifties but there's a strong wind well you yeah did you have a good Easter very nice we had company very nice yeah we did too i told my wife i sure do wish they'd gave us Monday off rather than Friday off oh because Sunday was really busy uh-huh you had company yeah company and then we went and visited the daughter and and uh didn't get i don't guess we got to bed till about eleven thirty oh i see and then having to get up and go to work the next morning uh-huh yeah that makes it hard well you have a good day well you too good TV viewing oh okay bye-bye bye i i assume i assume you have kids uh we have one she's only nine months old oh well she she doesn't have to worry about public schools yet right well my degree is in teaching so ah so i well we have a little bit of a basis for conversation i was a substitute teacher for about a year oh really yeah i uh thought i wanted to be a teacher so but before i went through all of that i wanted to see how i was going to like it um-hum and they uh in Alabama where i came from they they allow you to substitute if you got a four year degree so i went out and played substitute for a while and decided nope not for me did you teach in all subjects or in all grade levels or yeah it was i just took grades one through six i thought i was going to be smart and get the good kids wrong um-hum well my degree was in fourth through seventh grade but i taught junior high and i expected it to be a lot of trouble but it wasn't that bad i taught remedial reading kids um and well they don't call it remedial reading these days they call it something else but but anyway at the time that's what i taught and um um yeah you kind of group your behavioral problems together that way hum hum when you have your slow readers but it it wasn't too bad we we got along real well well i i sometimes wonder if i didn't mess up i maybe should have taken the higher grades because at least you can if you have to you can get mean with them those little kids don't understand it yeah i especially with the real young ones i started out wanting to teach elementary lower like primary and then top primary and thought well no i don't like this as much and ended up moving up and got up until about the sixth grade and so that's what i got my certification in um-hum but i had decided long before i was even married that i wanted to if possible teach my kids at home and not put them in the public schools yeah um and my reason for that was i don't like the uh what's the right word the varied inappropriate influences that you find so much in the public schools well that's a nice way of putting it you can find a lot of good public schools if you if you look real hard but i don't think they could cover everything that you could teach your children on an individual basis exactly exactly and two most people don't have that option yeah you know and plus it also depends on the district you're in as i mean on the i've seen some districts where all the schools are lousy it doesn't matter what you do um-hum uh accept for the private ones of course we're talking about public right i don't know back when i was going to school uh you just didn't get away with things these kids get away with now um-hum i mean you you pulled stunts like that and you were down at the principal's office and usually bending over to get five of the best yeah um but now nowadays they can't even they can barely scold the children for something you you know without getting sued and the the um the crime is just escalated and the drugs and even in the the lower the lower schools oh yeah well the thing that really did it for me i was subbing in a fifth grade class and uh this kid comes to school with his lunch box and inside this lunch box he's got easily two i'd say two hundred two hundred and fifty dollars in one dollar bills um and i asked him uh what are you doing with that he says my father gave it to me and i didn't believe it for a minute um-hum um so uh but uh you know the not a lot i could do about it right can't stop the kid from bringing money to school if he wants crazy for him to but well i have i i've fully i think i understood what the what the kid was doing he was a uh well let's just say he was one of those types that you wouldn't doubt that he was selling something um-hum yeah but not a lot i could do about it well we had the problem when i was in with teaching um i was eighth and ninth graders that i worked with and if we did have a a student come in and they were drunk or they were on something you had the option of calling the police and have them taken out of the schools or trying to teach them something while they were there um-hum and you don't know if you were reaching them or not but we felt like you know maybe just going ahead and try to teaching them was better trying to teach them was better than have them taken out yeah because uh that just that doesn't do a lot for them i mean it alleviates your problem but it doesn't do anything for them yeah right uh most the time if they were they were some of them were even better behaved i've only had two instances where i could it was really noticeable but they were better behaved when they were um i don't know if it was alcohol or something else that they were on but it ended up better uh i don't know guns and but i don't know that's something i think there's a problem too with teachers trying to um to be so versatile that they do lose sight of the basics you know they've been a big drive in especially in the seventies to return back to the basics um-hum and uh and i'm not completely just you know just teach the basics in schools but i think there does does need to be a reemphasis of those because of our our lowering grades in the standardized test and such oh yeah yeah oh sure i mean it's it's it's indicative across the board that we we've done something wrong but right and when you see uh Koreans and Chinese and Japanese who are taking all the uh science jobs all the engineering jobs all the mathematical jobs and you know here we are we can't we can't balance a checkbook without a calculator um-hum um i don't know well i spent a year and a half in Japan also and i've seen how their sc hool system works and i they go by a complete rote system you you just memorize everything um-hum and then at the end of the of a certain time period you spitted everything back out and the better uh memorizer you are the better your grades going to be yeah so i don't completely agree with that either no but there there definitely needs to be a balance somewhere yeah that's that's a great deal what law school's like oh is it yeah is that what you ended up going into um yeah oh and uh i just same sort of thing they just you you sit there and read hundreds and hundreds of cases and then you get one exam for the whole semester um-hum and it's how well you can remember it all how how much you can stuff in your brain yeah and i found that a particularly useless way of studying yeah um i never did i always tried to understand things not tried to memorize um-hum and consequently some of the very best students were had excellent memories um-hum but they couldn't put two and two together as far as the law was concerned yeah so uh it didn't show me anything a year and a half i gave it up yeah i wasn't really want i didn't want to be a lawyer anyway just wanted the degree um-hum yeah so yeah well well i don't know what can we do about it good good question probably taking money money is not the answer no there's plenty of money in the system it's just yeah i mean they're they're throwing more money at it now than ever before and things are getting worse i think it's uh like a lot of things in the in the the United States we've got so much built up in um in the state in the bureaucracy and in the politics of it and in the the power plays that it needs to be pulled down and started over again and there's no way that that can be done um-hum um-hum um-hum not without wiping out a whole generation of of kids in the school system and so yeah yeah maybe on smaller smaller scales well i don't know i uh as much as i didn't like school when i was going through it from my perspective now i can see that it's a lot better than what we have now um-hum and i think part of it is that they've got to give authority back to the local school yeah you know i mean it's it's silly that these that these people are handcuffed when it comes to discipline um-hum right into the classroom it needs to be yeah exactly i mean i be able to be enforced i i mean teachers are so afraid now of even saying something um-hum to students because they're going get they're going to get complaints or they're going to get sued or something it's like doctors in lawsuits you know they're kind of fearful of everything oh yeah well lawyers help create that that's that's true i've well at least i've heard that i i i haven't fortunately been in a situation where it's been applicable to me but but well i think i think i i mean what we've turned the schools into now are just day care centers um-hum you know somebody okay we're going to send our kid here for seven or eight hours a day and he's out of our hair right and the other part of it is parents have quit becoming parents um-hum you know they just oh yeah it has to be reinforced in the home oh sure i mean mean you you can you can have the best school system in the world if you don't get anything anything at home then it's it's not going to help either yeah right so i i don't know i don't know what the i don't know what the answer is um-hum it's an interesting interesting thing you want to do i how is Texas about keeping your children out of public schools do they allow it yeah they allow it under certain circumstances you have to to prove that you're teaching them something you have to follow um-hum a preferred curriculum um well they try to encourage you to to follow a specific curriculum although you don't have to um-hum and then if you have particular religious beliefs they have to be they're kind of monitored you know they they will allow you to i can't think of any examples but certain religious groups don't want their children in public schools because the influence and maybe if they was a group of Mennonites or something like that i don't think they're is in in this area but um-hum um they they are monitored by the uh by the state school board hum so that's interesting i remembering reading a few cases about that when it when some people first tried that and they got sued um-hum got taken to court by the school system i'm glad the parents won i mean that's seems silly that uh i mean we started that's the that's the way you got your education in this country um-hum and then uh hi hi uh as a matter of fact this past weekend since we had a long weekend i uh took on a painting project in my bathroom and i had wallpaper up i had to completely strip the wallpaper off and then spackle holes and then paint that and it took me all weekend because uh the wallpaper getting it off i had to wet the walls down and that had to dry and then the spackling had to dry a day and then the painting took another day you didn't try we rewallpapering you just uh no i i just painted did you use a textured paint or uh no actually the wall behind the paper was smooth so i just used a like a semigloss um and well did you get good results well no not really i need to it it looks so bad you can see where those spackling marks were i need to uh either paper back over it or do something yeah but just didn't it didn't it didn't cover it yeah it covered the spots pretty good but it didn't excuse me it didn't uh uh it just didn't look as smooth as i wanted it to well we did a uh we moved oh last August and we're getting a house my house had this dark wood paneling at the end of the den and we decided we went to i've forgotten one of the paint stores and they just said oh you can get by and i forgotten what it was you put down and then you can just paint right over the dark uh-huh well more or less after about uh half dozen coats it looks reasonable but it kept the the dark it was uh just a real dark uh wood grain type paneling uh-huh and uh it was smooth and uh and we would we put this stuff on and and it supposedly textured it or did something to it and but because of the the dark behind it was really hard to cover and was it like a primer yeah it was something like that although we sort of when we got through i wished we hadn't done it because we were you know we were trying to make the house look nice to sell it and we were painting it and trying to do uh you know make it and it it really was you know the advice they give you is uh the job was considerably tougher than we thought yeah uh particularly when you try to i was talking to somebody else who who had a lot of wood paneling and uh they had gotten somebody to come in with an estimate and it seemed like there was it was a good sized den with a lot paneling and the people quoted thirty thousand dollars to paint it or something oh my goodness that's an awful lot have you have you tried getting outside estimates to see what it costs to have something painted not inside now uh when we bought the house that we live in right now we had a company that came out and painted it that was one of the requirements from you know FHA yeah that the house be painted before we bought it and it was fairly reasonable we have a brick house but all the trim yeah around the house was uh if i remember right it was like uh five hundred dollars oh that's quite reasonable yeah yeah so that wasn't too bad um the problem is have you have you tried matching paint lately no i haven't my wife we we built a shed over the long way actually it took this is not on the topic but i did finish it but my wife went to the uh Home Depot i think it was and and took a uh a copy took a piece of brick uh-huh and she wanted to paint the shed it's a it's a wooden shed uh and she took it and they've got this machine that matches the color of paint uh-huh and uh they got and uh and in fact she put some right back she got they mixed uh a gallon of it and uh it's just remarkable how close it will match the paint uh and it does it uh oh electronically some something magic oh so they did do a good job yeah you know they but it's electronic yeah uh you put your sample under this thing and it looks at it and and uh and determines the and it it's really remarkable uh the problem they had and then they wanted some gray to do the to do the trim uh-huh and uh but they didn't didn't occur to them that um that they could have taken a sample uh-huh um from i forgotten this is Sherwin Williams Paint or something but anyway it's it's remarkable that's one of the problems though when you start painting to try to get the you know you want this you want this to look like this and you want that to look like that and of course if it's all white you're all right but when you start getting into colors have you had problems getting colors to match uh-huh yeah yeah as a matter of fact uh what we've got ours painted now is kind of a light creamy color and a uh a blue and the blue even so many years two years later or so it doesn't match um you know so it's the very same type of paint and everything gosh so so you so what's your what's the solution then oh i have no idea i repainted the whole thing oh my well at least you'll get very good at it right yeah you could go back and and paint the whole thing over that's uh this is an interesting topic that they would bring up painting because it uh it seems like everybody has a you know to go in and do i'll just do a little bit here and a little that yeah yeah although the uh it's uh it we almost one day we painted the house to uh we painted we painted the whole inside and it had all this dark trim we thought uh you know we did the one wall but the other trim i'm trying to think i think i think we left most of it because it gets to be uh they don't do that in the newer houses now we don't the uh mold everything is white in a new house everything is white yeah that's right white yeah that's what we're trying to get ours to look like oh good luck we wound up selling the house actually i i don't know whether it made actually it does it's interesting that the white um yeah makes the rooms look bigger one of the in our down stairs in our dining room we have a formal dining room it has molding uh like picture frames i don't know what you call that that actually that are along the walls you know up a couple of feet uh-huh uh-huh and my wife painted those the insides of those dark blue oh i see and uh it makes the room look remarkably smaller huh she painted the insides dark blue and then the trim what color the trim is still white okay white the the molding but by and she did that all the way around the room which makes it look very attractive but it makes the room look smaller which is uh uh-huh yeah yeah uh which is it explains why they why they have everything white but i you wouldn't think that i well yeah yeah maybe that understands colors would know all of that stuff but well uh what about the lighting did it make a big difference uh not particularly because the house has so many windows uh it has the the the living room has four uh good size windows oh uh-huh and uh well of course at night but with the we have we have we have a soccer field that's um oh about a hundred yards from our house uh-huh and the lights shine right at our house it's kind of we didn't know that when we bought the house but so that uh you get some the color doesn't really matter for because you have that light yeah we have a lot of light yeah and well it it it um well it's just uh i think it's just the the the dark blue to about three feet and then above that we left it white so anyway it didn't change but the the interesting thing is that paint we wound up having to go back and scrape some of that away it didn't it kind of bled under the masking tape which i guess is probably the topic we're I see uh-huh we're really on to that that the masking is you have to do that very very carefully and it takes a long time that's right you can work yourself to death well i'm sorry to hear your color didn't come out so good over the weekend yeah really no kidding it's kind of frustrating it is a lot of work a lot of work well i've got to go to a meeting it's been good talking to you nice talking to you thanks a lot bye okay good-bye um what kind of house do you live in uh we live in a one story just like a ranch style home you know the the standard Texas uh Fox and Jacobs oh yeah with with a yard and fence how about you guys are you in a house apartment or a house i'm in an apartment in uh Plano well they say that those are easy to find or difficult to find yeah they are if uh kind of depends on what you're looking for mine's just a one bedroom place that's uh how are rents doing i haven't looked at rents in a long time uh it's hard for me to tell because i haven't rented in uh probably twenty twenty five years uh-huh and uh just i'm getting back into apartment life and it's what's a what's a one bedroom are you in a um well Plano most most complexes in Plano are pretty nice so you're probably in a you know yeah but well they vary from from place to place it's hard to tell you know how well they've been kept up how old they are and these are probably oh one of the nicest that i found and uh um-hum they're almost five hundred a month for a one bedroom place ooh that does get high yeah i mean yeah it does considering that you know you uh house payments are not a whole lot more than that yeah i was going to say our mortgage is is between depending on you know it it drops um seems like in the last six months we um got lucky and we refinanced and it but it was like eight hundred and something but it went down to like seven hundred and twenty yeah so that's really not i have friends that pay about nine hundred dollars for a townhouse in yeah in actually they're near Plano in North Dallas too but i couldn't believe it but you know wow that's a lot for a townhouse but that's what happens when you get up in this area you know you got all these companies are up here and these they i guess they know they're going to get it yeah and then i think that um nobody was really buying homes for a long time there because of just i mean we've been in ours for about ten years but uh there's no investment in it you know yeah all it allows you to do is itemize yeah that's true you just take off your mortgage interest and that's about it on your on your taxes yeah that's really about it it's uh have you ever owned your own home yeah oh yeah i've owned uh several and built several uh so you know what it's like yeah it's like when you first this is our third one it's not um and it's not that exciting after a while well well and especially around North Dallas or at least in Plano area they basically all look alike because Fox and Jacobs and yeah suburban track yeah we uh we lived out of state for a while and came back and uh we lived in a smaller city and now we say gee Dallas really is big and polluted isn't it i can remember i've only been here eight years but i can remember coming to work from i used to live in Wylie and i could see downtown Dallas uh-huh and now there's this brown haze over it and it's moving north yeah it's really it's really sad because they're they're not doing anything well we're getting off the subject i guess but just like with housing i mean they're not doing anything about pollution they're not doing anything about it's going to look like Houston have you ever been to Houston oh yeah you know um i used to think Dallas was better than Houston because their zoning for where you can put a house next to a now it looks just like Houston to me you know yeah yeah it does how how long have you been in this house we've been in here ten years ten years yeah so we've got you know we've got some investment in it but you really don't get anything out of it no you really don't were you said you were out of state for a while was that a smaller town than than Dallas area yeah smaller we were up in Pittsburgh Pennsylvania how were the how were the house prices up there my home town um the prices actually a lot better because Pittsburgh is about the size i'm trying to think like a Louisville or Minneapolis that type of size yeah and the prices what you get here for about a hundred thousand you could get there for about seventy five eighty wow yeah it's really and we didn't think it was that clean but then after you're gone for a while it looks cleaner you know hum oh yeah um well you know a lot of these people that i've talked to that are coming down from uh like what i call the back East especially from JC Penney yeah Saint Louis whatever uh are selling two and three hundred thousand dollar houses up there and buying a hundred and fifty hundred and seventy five thousand dollar houses down here and they've wind up getting better houses here than they had there really so in a way i guess it works both ways you know i guess it's yeah but and here i guess it depends on what you want you know here once people like i know a lot of people that work for JC Penney in marketing yeah and a lot of the people that came from that area probably like what you're talking about they had no um they had a lot of property but not a lot of house and now they have a lot of house and hardly any yardage around it that's a fact but but they love it i mean they they they think that they're getting you know you say um sun room to them and you enclose and you can sell i guess that's true and they don't have to worry about yard upkeep because they don't hardly have any yeah yeah and a lot of them i know a couple women that work there and they don't miss in public relations and they don't miss having a basement to run up and down to you know that's true there's not too many basements in Texas and i said you haven't heard about tornados how about bugs you know yeah gosh i remember when i was little uh we didn't have a i lived grew up in southern Oklahoma and uh people across the street had a cellar and we we never did uh-huh and it's just like Dallas area it was tornado alley up there and every spring mom would drag me up at three o'clock four o'clock in the morning and pajamas and teddy bear across the street and we'd go into the cellar and i yep to this day i don't care if i go or not you know if it's going to get me it's get me that's exactly uh growing i grew up in western Pennsylvania near Pittsburgh and uh we used to call the basements actual cellars so it's funny to hear that word because i never hear it you know it's like the back porch used to be a stoop you know yeah yeah but uh um the housing is just we like the older homes and i don't know if we're going to stay here or not depends you know i mean you ever thought about building a house pardon me you ever thought about building a house yeah actually when we were up north um but some family things changed so we ended up coming back down here and all that because it helped my husband's work but um we really would like to but we don't know if we're going to do it unless we stay here you know it yeah that's true especially well well TI is like anybody else you never know how long you're going to be here or be in one place you know yeah it it's real tough i mean the economy any more i mean i think everybody just lives under an umbrella the uncertainty with housing and everything you know it's um pardon me yeah do you work do you work yes i do so how do you handle do you got any kids uh no we don't so you got he's working and you're working and you got this big house to take care of how do you manage both of those uh how do i take care of the house well i don't have a Mexican i don't i shouldn't say that i don't have an ethnic maid i don't have we have some friends that live near North Dallas off of Campbell Road and they have like a four thousand square foot home and she's got a uh yeah a live out nanny um but any rate i don't have any of that um i don't know it's really not too difficult with no children and just two people you know you basically can take care of everything yourself we have a yeah we have a dog and we're pretty i mean we're not fanatically neat but um we keep things up you know it's not like where there's three feet of weeds or anything in the yard by the time you need to um get around to fertilizing and cutting in the spring yeah yeah what about home repairs and stuff do you have to do all that yourself or um no we're pretty much um we we've been around long enough as a couple that we learned a long time ago not to wallpaper together wow you too and things like that um we pretty much hire we subcontract mostly everything i mean other than anything that's not a um i mean i know how to fix a running toilet yeah yeah oh yeah he does what he needs to but mostly if it's something major um you know cleaning out the air conditioning ducts or something like that we just hire out to do that yeah sounds like you you've already got the makings for being a general contractor yeah no thanks i yeah if you don't wall paper it well together you should probably not build a house together have you ever done that i mean you sound like you may have been a couple one time yeah i built three houses in my life and and how'd that go oh they the the building process was a lot of fun but puts a lot of strain on things uh-huh getting to agree to things that i'm sure and i also think that once you get to be um you know certain when you get to be thirty something and thirty something gets to be a little bit older yeah you start um the dollar value on things you bet i you know i think people that own homes a lot in North Dallas are very materialistic oh you bet i know i'm supposed to talk about homes but people that own the people that own them are the home homes themselves and you know um spending sixteen dollars a yard for custom draperies for custom drapes just doesn't oh yeah well to some of them i guess it doesn't matter you know that maybe they've got enough coming in to to take care of it but yeah that's i mean and and you know you see a lot of these people that came east from uh west from uh from New York with Exxon or JC Penney and it's just a hoot to watch them hum um-hum oh yeah they as far as they're concerned they've come to the promised land you know they've got it made already right right exactly so well was it hard to adjust living in an apartment after being in a house oh yeah because you're combine uh confined by space you know i had a i came out of a thirty one hundred square foot two story house house and i had room for everything oh my goodness yeah in fact i had more room than i knew what to do with i don't know it's it's seems like room uh stuff always expands to fill available available space but uh-huh yeah uh well in a way you can travel light yeah you can yeah you know you learn you adjust you figure out how is how is apartment dwelling living in terms of general privacy and noise and things like that it's not as bad as i thought it was uh-huh uh it's not as bad as i remembered especially going to college and living in apartments there you know how noisy that can be yes i do uh there seems to be a a more a mature crowd in uh apartments at least where i am uh even though you know there's kids all around and there's there's traffic and there's people going up and down the sidewalks and stuff like that but still uh everybody pretty much keep keeps keeps to their own turf so to speak yeah pretty much and uh there's never really any any oh i remember in school there's just seem like there was a fight or a party or something going on every night you don't run into that up here i think i think because there's so many uh professional people if you want to call them that yeah uh-huh uh that go spend all day at work and they want to come home and they want some quiet yeah relax and try to go to sleep really yeah yeah yeah you see a lot of activity outside people riding bikes or playing ball or jogging or doing this and that and uh they're trying to to unwind and i think Plano in general is getting a little more well it's gotten so big it's almost a town in it's own right oh yeah it's a hundred and what eighty thousand something like that isn't that something yeah the price of home now we paid oh we paid um about seventy eight nine for our house like i said about a decade ago not even about nine years ago and yeah i'd say they appraised it it's gone up you now maybe like five percent oh yeah so it's an investment but it's something that you know when you're first married or starting out you think if you really have something but you really it's just real nowadays with the way income tax i think housing is strictly to itemize oh you bet and the thing that that gets me is uh you never really catch up you never really finish doing things and uh yeah exactly we you're always paying for something you know yeah and even you know i mean like we had i called them prefabs just a track home you know i mean we we had one of their homes that was nicer in Pennsylvania but um it was an older home but then you buy an older home and you're always fixing things up um-hum oh you are constantly there's always something going wrong so you know okay we're supposed to talk about what the weather's been like let's see uh it's been pretty windy yeah it's been windy the past few weeks i've noticed that yeah so far has been hasn't been too much rain which is really nice because last week all that rain and it was just bad with all the flooding when uh Trinity Mills Road flooded over all those times you couldn't i couldn't pass by it yeah oh yeah oh really well i i didn't have to go down there but uh uh driving on the freeway was uh made it difficult because everybody couldn't get off and they'd get off somewhere else uh-huh right well you know they said that we haven't had enough rain though and that surprises me because it seems like we've had a lot of rain this year but since we've uh last i heard that we hadn't met our you know hadn't got up to the right level yet that we yeah the current average or whatever right well it truly surprises me because it seems like we seems like we do get a lot of rain but i guess not i guess it doesn't accumulate too much but um i'm glad it's summer yeah finally i like the warm weather me too and the winter wasn't that bad i was really grateful that it didn't get that bad this winter yeah i'm not uh fan of cold weather i've lived up in in the northern part of the country and i never did like the cold weather that much i don't either i want some you know ski or something you know i'm benefiting from it yeah yeah i guess in a way i just i really like the summer like to uh be able to lay out or you know just be outside yeah i don't mind the heat that much it doesn't bother me that much cold weather i just i don't know i just can't tolerate too much with the yeah i know it seems like you can never get warm enough to yeah so i like Texas it's a nice place to be i do too and so i guess it's probably the same over where you're at in Garland as opposed to Lewisville yeah yeah i would think i don't know might be a little bit different because the city interferes with the weather patterns to a certain extent because of the heating of the of the concrete and asphalt true that's true that's true it does seem to uh that's why they say always say it's like five degrees warmer in the city at night time than out in the country uh-huh uh-huh i do like um like an old uh warm summer the breezes that it gets at night you know you can open your windows and yeah oh and it gets those nice warm breezes coming in that's nice yeah and that helps on utilities of course who can't use that yeah and that's especially in Garland it's real bad yeah especially in Texas period yeah yeah well we didn't have much we had some good ice but not a lot thank goodness not well have you lived in Texas all your life yeah sure have how about you no uh this is this is the fifth state i've lived in are you serious yeah so i've just been all over the country and uh some places had really cold weather when i was living in Indiana it got really cold ugh i mean one day it was like sixty below zero are you serious and uh uh they said you know stay inside um in fact last year i was driving home one night and i was listening to some station some radio station in Iowa and uh the uh DJ was saying uh tonight's going to be like eighty below gosh and he said uh this is serious folks this is serious business stay inside do not go outside at any for any reason boy that's horrible and i thought yeah no kidding ooh i hate that that's horrible that of course that was last year when we had the real bad freeze you know in the country and this last winter wasn't wasn't that bad as as i remember it right know well that's true well a friend of mine went home this weekend uh he lives up in the uh Pan Handle uh-huh and um he went home for Easter and it snowed up there and then the next day it was up to seventy five is that right yeah that would be horrible i wouldn't like that well you just can't depend on it schizophrenic weather yeah yeah it's just real comfortable here where we live and that's the way i like it i like being able to depend on a hot summer and yeah you know it does it gets cold enough in the winter to where you you realize it yeah and you can do your fires and everything and then move on yeah when i lived in California they had uh what i describe as boring weather it was the same virtually year-round which what i thought was great you didn't have to worry about tornadoes you didn't have to worry about uh too cold or too hot it was just nice and even and i liked that it was it was nice yeah right yeah yeah but uh i don't mind the heat i don't either i don't i don't miss the cold at all but i don't mind the heat yeah yeah i wouldn't mind some you know like i guess after awhile in the summer when it hits i guess about October and you get a few cool days i don't mind that because it kind of gives you some relief yeah that's right it's kind of nice too to have that fall you know that's nice yeah spring and fall are nice times of the year yeah they really are spring because we're getting that getting rid of winter finally yeah and all the trees and plants are coming out thank goodness and grass yeah yeah for a change i i got i get sick of winter just looking everything so dead i hate that yeah no kidding so that's uh kind of depressing to see all that yeah yeah it really is it's just an old gray looking sky and it's boring yeah really i guess it wouldn't be bad if you i guess up north it wouldn't be bad to visit we we love to go skiing and um snow it's beautiful when it snows and you have all those pine trees and everything that is pr etty but i sure couldn't live there yeah yeah it's something you have to get used to i guess i mean i lived with that for a while and yeah you just adapt i guess so to a certain extent here in the summer time we go back and forth between air-conditioned buildings there you go back and forth between warmed up areas i mean uh warm i guess so i remember when i was living in Indiana i was uh uh going going to school there and i used to ride my bike across campus and one day it was it must've been close to ten degrees above zero and um God and i thought well if i ride my bike the wind chill will be close to zero it will last seven minutes six minutes if i walk it'll be ten degrees warmer but it will last twenty minutes um um-hum that's right which do i want you know it's colder for a shorter time or a little bit warmer for a for a longer time and so i took the shorter colder option yeah hum right right i don't blame you i would too and i got down to where i uh to to the building i was going to and my face was about frozen off and i thought was that such a good choice i weren't quite so sure at that point i do hate that feeling though it oh yeah frostbites yeah yeah my fingers always get get it real bad i hate that i mean i bundle them up and everything and and i still get it yeah i guess i can bare the cold it's just when it does the wind hits oh yeah oh that just feels like it goes all the way to the bone it does you can feel all the way through it's like a knife like a sword like a sword a sword slicing in half or whatever yeah it hurts exactly hurts i hate it yeah oh well i don't know what else i can say about it well me either it's kind of a boring topic i guess well i guess that's all i to say you too all right then i'm through you too bye-bye have a good evening bye well how about you do you use PCs oh constantly you and i both it seems like uh everything i do has is computer related uh-huh and if it goes down then we're stuck all day yeah and so i like the IBM PC personally uh-huh but that's pretty much everything i've worked with and uh i've become so accustomed to it that uh it's like second nature yeah what do you use well i have an i IBM PS two model thirty yes uh-huh and uh it's kind of kind of getting too slow for me but my job i'm an EDP auditor so i audit uh computer applications both on the PC and the mainframe level oh uh-huh and i use my PC constantly not only do i do PC type things like uh using lotus or word processors huh-uh i also use my PC to emulate a mainframe terminal for our IBM mainframe and also to emulate a deck terminal for our deck machine uh-huh oh okay so all i have on my desk is my PC but i'm i'm getting not only our local area network but i'm getting two separate mainframe machines also oh okay oh we um we use it's an IBM PS two also huh-uh and um you know every now and then the file gets so big that you know it moves slower than i'd like huh-uh uh but uh uh i we i do mainly um graphics on it huh-uh and uh a little bit of word processing and then lotus applications to it yeah and uh uh you know i don't know i just i enjoy working with them yeah there's just there's so many capabilities out there i mean the things you can do are endless yeah i've become kind of the PC guru in our audit department because it's mostly financial auditors with an accounting back ground uh-huh and there's three of us EDP auditors and one of the three of us has an accounting background and so she's not real proficient in PCs and the other just hasn't used PCs that much so i ended up taking on the load of making sure everybody knows what they're doing and i'm the administrator for our local area network and i need to keep that going and uh-huh so i i'm i couldn't live my life without a PC i don't have one at home which which we have one at home but i just don't find the time that i can use it yeah i would right now i would rather not have one at home because i would work at home i yes uh um we've got a couple of portable lap top PCs at the office that i end up bringing one of them home a lot uh-huh to do work if i had a machine already installed at home i would probably work just about every night oh the one of the reasons why i got mine was before i went on maternity leave they didn't know how they were going to do without me at work because i am pretty much the like you said the guru in the office with the different programs and any trouble shooting that there is yeah uh-huh and um so they didn't know how it was going to work they're thinking that we were going to have to get a modem so that we could you know uh and a decks machine so that we could in my home so that we could make it through this eight weeks or so yeah but uh you know it's uh they're they're really great uh it's almost like we could we could become too dependent on them yeah and oh i the uh we use a lot of free lance and uh uh-huh that's uh pretty much takes up a lot of our day as far as producing transparencies and things yeah and um it uh you know compared to the way the things have upgraded have uh really what's the word i'm looking for i'm just totally drawing a blank but uh the way things have changed over the years with the PC and the different programs is just great it's remarkable the things we can do now and compared to you know back a few years yeah just the power i'm i'm trying to uh get an upgraded machine mine is uh just putting along and it's not fast enough for me so i want to get a new uh four eighty six chip but uh i don't know yeah i don't know if my boss will spring for it but i'm i'm i'm i determined to brake mine so he has to get me another one we think about that a lot yeah well that's what i do we had a printer a a Hewlett Packard Ready Writer uh-huh and we had about ten people sharing this printer by it was attached to like a central PC and you had to take your diskette to the PC to print something oh um now that's awful so the first thing when i started working at this bank is i said well now first of all we need to all be able to share this PC without getting up so i talked my boss into investing in a it's not a uh a uh real elaborate local area network but we can share the printer huh-uh and we can uh send files to each other and we can mail send mail messages to each other which is what which is good enough it's what we need uh-huh oh okay um-hum right and then i talked them into buying a HP Laser Jet oh yes and that was a major ordeal to get him to buy it but once he bought it he has been so pleased it's it's fast it's quite oh it has good copy right the quality that you can out off with one of those as compared to one of those dot matrix printers yeah i've got a little little uh IBM Pro Printer on my desk but and i can use either the Pro Printer or i've got my PC configured to where i can use either printer the one that's on the network or my own yeah uh-huh so if i just need something real quick and i don't feel like getting up and going and getting what i printed i can just print it in my office um uh we're just trying to talk ours into getting a laser printer yeah and uh it's just so you you know with budget restraints and things like that it's makes it difficult they have gotten really cheap Hewlett Packard makes it's it's actually a dot matrix printer and uh uh-huh but the quality is almost uh laser quality oh uh-huh and i think it's called the desk jet yeah and they're under i think they're uh about eight hundred dollars now and we uh got a quote on some laser printers the other day at six hundred oh uh yeah i don't remember what kind they were uh but uh we uh do a lot of transparencies huh-uh sometimes the color would take too long to plot uh plot out yeah so they just want black and white ones and see we can just run them through the laser printer real quick yeah because it will only take a minute to print one of those out and then run a thermal copy of it yeah but uh it uh i mean that's all you need for like for like bullet charts and stuff you don't need them in four colors uh-huh no uh-huh if it was a customer presentation then that would be different we would want to razzle-dazzle a bit but uh yeah it's uh yeah we have one in the office and if we want to use it well in our area if we want to use it we have to you know like you said you had to change it put it on a disc and carry it over to there and see if they're not using the printer you use the sneaker net system right and uh wait for an opportunity to use it yeah yeah we you'd have to just sit and wait while someone else was using the printer uh-huh until they got off the machine i know i know i understand that was uh i was amazed when i came to work i worked at the uh well it used to be the largest bank in San Antonio until N C N B came up and bought the rival and now N C N B and now N C N B's got a little larger market share uh-huh but it's the only uh well it's part of the bank holding company and that bank holding company of the ten largest banking holding companies in Texas it's the only one that's still alive oh uh-huh so any way i work in a big prestigious place right and i couldn't believe when i walked in the door on my first day and here's the audit department of this this huge holding company sharing a HP Rugged Writer i was going oh wait a minute come on guys this is crummy right so how are you supposed to expect to stay number one when you're behind the times in technology here yeah yeah we're we're pushing real hard though we're we're trying well see the entire bank is not like that we the the bank philosophy is one of innovation innovation and lead the market uh-huh it's just the audit department happened to be just a little behind the times because the uh the senior vice president over audits is cheap uh-huh and it's real hard to pry money out of him to to to do these things but i was i was able to convince him that it would be cost effective and that our board presentations would be much better and right we we find it hard to believe sometimes or hard to understand when uh so we work for a computer company and uh how are we supposed to present the imagine that we're supposed to present with equipment that's outdated and when it's obsolete yeah and the guys that that some of the guys that run this place are very tight and it's like well why do we need this can't you do that with you know what we have and when we try and then they complain about this doesn't look good yeah so unfortunately the the uh computer equipment and and related peripherals are changing and improving so rapidly like for instance we bought a um-hum okay what types of music do you like to listen to well i primarily listen to classical music when i have my druthers partly because i find it more soothing i don't know a lot about classical music so far as uh any background in music but it's the the music i enjoy the most how about you i like classical music also i uh like you i don't know a whole lot about it and i i would like to buy more classical tapes and stuff but i'm not sure which composers or which i really like so i kind of hesitate to buy something There are certain kinds i like and certain kinds i don't right uh-huh i tend to listen to the classical music uh on the radio a lot there's uh one particular well there several stations in this area that play uh classical music all the time but there's one in particular that is on both AM and FM so i can listen to it without uh worrying it's cute though because my children when they get in the car and i have uh the button pushed for that they always switch it to something else because naturally that isn't their taste yeah at this point in time anyway yeah i understand that are are you involved in music uh no not really My husband is but not i do uh the world a favor and i don't sing aloud to anybody but myself well my whole family uh is somewhat musical um and not from training but just because we sing in our choir and my daughter's quite involved and all that sort of thing so um i think that one of these days maybe she'll get involved in classical music too because that's usually what happens if you unless you get into rock which isn't her voice style so yeah i yeah i i don't care for rock at all i guess i'm real old fashioned in my musical tastes no i well most of it is not all that exciting in that it is terribly repetitious yes it's loud and repetitious without having a great deal of meaning now i do like folk song um and there have been some nice folk songs over the years that you know kind of still hang around right but um but the more popular music i don't care for usually yeah um even when i was a teenager i didn't really like the music of that period so much because i found i liked um a little bit more melodious music than what was often the popular rock and roll kind of thing yeah i agree with that too although now i kind of enjoy hearing the rock and roll i guess it makes me think i'm young again yeah now rock and roll seems tame compared to like the New Age and all that stuff isn't that the truth it's funny in fact it's interesting to me that so many of the songs now i grew up in the late fifties and early sixties and so much of the music that was popular at that time has come back uh-huh and you you don't hear everything all the time but you hear much of the same music perhaps a new version of it but it's the same stuff right um which is always kind of funny um and i remember my older sister i have a sister who's sixteen years older and at the time that i was a teenager late teenager i guess i can't remember the year Smoke Gets In Your Eyes became popular i think it was done by maybe the Platters or something uh-huh then and she laughed and she said well you know when i was a teenager that had been you know some years before she said that was a version of you know a song then and she said it's very similar but they've changed a little bit she said i like the original version better well they did it again about two or three years ago and i laughed again i said oh no here we are crops up every so often i listen to um the Christian radio station when i'm in the car K L T Y right right it does indeed uh-huh i like to listen to some of that music yes now that there there's some wonderful Christian music when you can find good stations uh the problem problem that i found um in this area is that the yeah there there is inconsistency in the quality uh-huh here if you get someone who's very good at selecting it's okay but sometimes they kind of get on a a a binge and they play the same sort of thing over and over again without really necessarily quality yeah where do you live uh i live in the uh Washington DC area Rockville Maryland i thought maybe you lived in Dallas because that's the complaint i make to my husband about the radio station too i said oh they're playing one of their ten songs it seems like every week they pick ten and they just play them over and over yeah and it uh-huh and i i you know there's so much available that i don't understand why they do that but um yeah yeah now my children have have sometimes um well they've gone to a few of the concerts and so on of Christian musicians that come for our youth group at our church and um and uh-huh they when they buy a tape or something sometimes that's fun because it's different and something i've not always heard and you know i enjoy that right my husband likes uh Sandy Patty songs he likes to sing those in church he'd buy all the sound tracks he could get his hands on if he had the money to oh wow yeah that's nice so is your husband a singer well just an amateur singer He sings in the choir and he likes to do special music and stuff at church right yeah well that's a good thing to do yeah yeah i like to hear him sing he does a good job that's nice uh well do you have children no not yet we're expecting a baby in July well wonderful that'll be a musician i guess we'll start listening yeah maybe so we'll start listening to children's music oh there's some wonderful Christian uh children's tapes yeah there are you can uh you can get and i know when my children were younger um we found a lot of really nice tapes that they that they liked um there was an Agape music group and um i some of the songs i still find going over in my head over and over again because they were really um very memorable even though my children are now my youngest is almost sixteen but i still find some of the same tapes i uh some of the same songs from those tapes i enjoy uh-huh oh uh uh-huh um there's one that's um a little girl singing Practice Makes Perfect uh-huh and uh she's playing the piano and so she she gets the wrong note every now and then but then she keeps repeating it practice makes perfect and then you know talking about that so far as Christian life too and it's really cute oh yeah that sounds really cute yeah uh i tell my husband to sing to my stomach because they say that babies can hear quite a lot while they're still in the womb and i said then when when it's born you can hold it and sing that again and maybe it'll comfort her you know when she's fussy and stuff yeah right yeah well do you know something because i have always played classical music what uh or classical style it's not always classical as you know the official uh word might go but um even when i was pregnant of course i listened to that and when our first child was you know an infant um of course i when i was around the house i played that music too uh-huh when he first made sounds that you could detect they were in the scale the music scale huh someone else noticed it and i said well i guess that's true and it was somewhat melodio us in other words it wasn't just you know it was really funny how strange uh-huh babbly i'll say that is well we'll have to keep up with that then right right i do think there is probably an influence there because i noticed that even though popular music the the wilder stuff was around when my uh older children were were you know adolescents early adolescents when they first start listening to music on their own they first get ask for a radio of their own and so on um uh-huh this same child um really listened to to more um ballady or um pleasant sort of songs rather than and even classical rather than the real hard rock stuff that so many other kids listen to huh and i i never i didn't want to say too much for fear he would think it was wrong and wouldn't do it anymore right yeah have something to rebel against right but uh but i must say they all kind of like a variety of music which is nice i like that yeah that's good yeah variety is good yeah well i guess that covers it It was real good talking to you well it was nice talking to you and good luck with the baby um well thanks bye bye-bye oh uh so what's what's your favorite exercise well my i guess uh sports uh i'm don't play as much sports as i used to because i'm i'm too old for it now but uh i still play golf i like to bowl although i hadn't bowled in quite a while but i guess my main exercise right now is probably golf oh that's pretty good exercise you do you drive a cart or do you carry your bag uh this last tournament i was in i walked nine holes and almost dropped so i shared a cart yeah it gets a long ways after a while yeah especially on a real hilly course yeah oh let's see i i play racquetball mostly yeah um i don't play very much anymore because i've fractured my right ankle twice oh and uh fractured it on both sides and so it's kind of weak i'm afraid to get out there and try it again um they have a real nice uh health club there at TI Lewisville racquetball courts and uh hand ball courts and it's a real nice facility i just haven't taken advantage of it yet though do do do they give the employees time off during the day to go no not really a lot of places do that now they'll they'll set aside you know like an hour a day that you can go exercise yeah yeah that's a pretty good idea because people who take advantage of it end up in better health and saves them on health care yeah yeah um yeah i like bowling too i haven't been for a while just don't have the time yeah but uh i guess bowling and racquetball's about it for me walking every once in a while but yeah not a great deal of that yeah i've i wish they'd split that bowling season up into uh three seasons um-hum right now they have a real short season and a real long season um-hum the summer league is just too long yeah well that's my uh i mean every time i've tried to go you know it's always there's there's always a league bowling yeah yeah and it it's just so you either have to wait or yeah you're next to to league bowlers and after a while it just gets to be a pain yeah yeah there's there's hardly no open alleys anymore it's all yeah yeah especially here in Raleigh we've got such little bitty bowling alleys all taken up yeah little bitty everything here but uh also TI has some good uh uh some good jogging tracks every once in a while while i'm sitting there eating lunch i'll look look out and see people jogging i guess on their lunch hour yeah um a friend of mine works at uh IBM in Charlotte yeah and they've got a real nice building down there on a great big piece of land and it's a huge plant i mean this thing's just enormous and that's what they do at lunch time they go out and run around the building yeah i'm not i was never into jogging i hated that when i was in high school playing football coach was always making us run yeah yeah i just sort of hated it from that point on well i i guess i would love to play basketball but but i don't i don't think i'd have the wind for that i guess of all the sports that probably gives you more exercise than any any sport there is yeah it's that's a tough one to play i i used to play it when i was younger but yeah took it out of me then and i'd hate to think what it would do to me now yeah but uh yeah i got to stick to more sedate sports yeah yeah i i as soon as i as soon as i can find me an ankle a good uh a good ankle brace i'm going to start playing some racquetball again but i'm not going out there with an unsupported ankle anymore yeah yeah i'm tired of running around on crutches for two months at a time and i'm not lucky enough to just go ahead and break it you know the things got to get fractured so that it never heals properly yeah yeah you might have to go to those old old old-timey high top tennis shoes that they used to wear well i've got a pair of those uh that's those are the ones that i wear when i go out there um yeah yeah trouble is i can't get them tight enough tight enough to really support your ankle to to really give me what i feel is support um so i'm i i i think probably just an ace bandage would work yeah yeah but i want to get one of those um padded ankle yeah what you call its only bad thing about an ace bandage if you wrap it tight enough so that really supports your ankle it's going to cut off the blood yeah it's going to cut off the circulation yeah yeah i i think i tried that one time a couple years ago and it did the same did that same thing yeah you end up loosening it up and then of course you don't have any yeah yeah i think i'll probably just have to go with one of those splint braces or something yeah but um well i guess that's about it for exercise that's about it as far as exercise us old guys just don't do it very much do we no unless unless you c all pushing yourself away from the table more exercise well that's that's good exercise and i don't do enough of that either i sat down to a double dose of spaghetti tonight i yeah well i was cooking me a grilled cheese um i like grilled cheese too yeah cheese is bad for you i know well you know i i i wonder though it's i think it really depends on the person yeah i was reading an article in the paper the other morning these doctors are baffled about this eighty seven year old man who eats thirty boiled eggs a day yeah did you see that yeah yeah i heard about it and they're wondering where does that cholesterol go yeah i think it it's all in the metabolism of of the it i think it is too And i and i think things like eggs and cheese anything like that i think it just depends on who you are yeah because uh i know people who eat tons of that kind of stuff and they're just as healthy as can be yeah i mean i'm i'm sort of strange in a way i'm i'm about twenty pounds overweight and i smoke but my blood pressure is about my last reading was just the other day it was one hundred two over seventy nine well that's that's the same with me i do both and my blood pressure is i think it was the last time i took it it was a hundred and hundred and ten over seventy or something like that yeah good and low yeah and uh i mean you'd think by looking at me my i'd have a bad heart and everything terrific heart great blood pressure yeah yeah jeez i'm not worried about it no if you didn't eat if you knocked off everything that they say is not good for you to eat uh you'd be just about down to bread and water yeah exactly and and and even then you've got to watch the bread and the water yeah it would have to be a diet bread yeah you never know what's in the water either well it's been nice talking with you well good talking to you you have yourself a good night okay you too talk thank you talk to you later bye-bye so what kind of weather have you had in Dallas well it's been very windy and it's uh probably unseasonably hot for time right now really yeah see i didn't i don't i thought my uh i thought i live in Euless and i thought it was pretty normal but anyway but i guess you're right though it has been real hot because it um i've had to use the air conditioner in March and that is pretty usual yeah we've already had to use that and we've had like i meant this is probably typical though uh with like tornado weather and tornado warnings and um uh-huh so uh you know i i forget from year to year i'm getting too old but the um it it the the the wind's blowing very hard but i guess uh you know we're just out of March and uh will bring the rain in April yeah yeah i know the trees are real pretty right now and everything and uh i don't know i know the pollen is real high but i think it's higher than usual isn't it yes it is seems very high it hasn't bothered me but i know the people that have allergies it seems to be a pretty high yeah i know it's been bothering me a lot but yeah i think normally i think the weather overall has been um probably like you said probably a little bit warm and so a little bit warm and a little bit uh blowy i think anyway so we basically live in the same area so it's real hard to really hard to make too big of uh different comparisons right yeah i know i just think it's been warm and it's been hot and i like it and it's beautiful and all the trees are pretty and i wish it would stay like this all the time yes i could stand this all summer so yeah i could too and uh gah i don't think we can say anything else really i don't think we can either let's cut off yeah that sounds like a good deal well you have a nice day and we'll talk to you later bye you too bye-bye well Amy it's been uh kind of overcast today and cloudy we have a our i have a son in kindergarten he was having a kite day yeah oh boy and i was really worried about it raining because it its has been there been some dark clouds and it's been um and it's been pretty rainy looking yeah i've been trying to put weed spray on the lawn for the whole week and you can't put it on if it's suppose to rain within forty eight hours uh-oh and so i keep hearing the forecast it's going to rain it's going to rain it's going to rain but it really hasn't rained yeah i know it just has that i it looks several times in the last couple of weeks it has looked rainy that day and not not done anything and we have a lot of trees yeah yeah in our yard and our property and they're pretty old big tall trees and so if it's an overcast day then the weather is pretty blah because i really have to some sunshine or else i feel like i live in a cave all the time um-hum yeah yeah well i get tired with the kid i have two kid preschoolers a three year old and a two year old and when it's you know not nice and they can't go out it's really the pits so i appreciate it when at lately they can at least go play in the backyard for an hour or something you know um-hum oh i bet yeah that makes a big difference but i uh we're kind of new to Plano and i'm yeah yeah working on a carnival that's going to be in a couple of weeks for our school and i'm thinking that this has been a pretty you know rainy season it's been scary it's of kind of been cloudy every day and i thought well i'm just not anxious to have worry about the weather yeah yeah well my three and half year old he really wants to have the pool out in the backyard you know so any day i mean all Winter long he's been wanting a pool in the backyard so i'm hoping you know that oh yeah it just seems like the weather around here goes so quickly from being Winter to you know muggy and hot and it's just you never really have like nice cool sixty five or seventy degree weather with sunshine you know and i really miss that i'm from Chicago originally and i miss some miss seasons that you know that we used to get up there that you just don't have down here um-hum well i know in um i'm from Missouri and we always had pretty nice four seasons and and you know extreme we have some extreme weather in each season but um yeah i like that and we moved here from Houston in in uh July and everyone kept saying oh you're going up north it's not going to be so hot it's not going to be so humid and yeah that has just not been the case it has been oh oh really yeah it's pretty hot here during the Summer gosh oh it was extremely hot i thought i was going to die my car i thought it was going die last summer but do have air conditioning in your car or well the air conditioning was broke but broken i guess it just couldn't handle yeah the stress and the heat the record heat and you know i was worried about every time we came to an intersection that the car started idling rough you know because of the extreme heat oh yeah yeah yeah i know my husband doesn't have air conditioning in his car and he when he comes home from work you know during the Summer he's just well he feels like he's burning like he's been baking for an hour gosh um-hum oh i know that's really awful but but i uh understand that this is kind of typical for this time of year the rainy season yeah what i hate is i hate having to water so much around here you know well we never used to have to water our lawns you know in Chicago it was always enough rain here and there um-hum no sure but here if you don't water it just looks awful and i just hate to spend the money just going down the drain in watering grass you know brown yeah that is that is awful and it it takes time and the and the kids they you have to water your lawn and they want to go out and run in it and get all muddy and you know so you're going do i want a dirt a green lawn or a muddy feet in the house yeah we have a dog too so that adds to it you know been tracing in and out with whatever the weather is like out there so oh no well i don't know do the nice thing i'm looking forward to is uh not having a hurricane season oh yeah because Houston was really hurricane alley wasn't it weren't there a lot of hurricanes there or yes we always had to big concern about hurricanes because we're close enough to the coast and you know you had to have a supply like uh emergency supply on hand all the time during the hurricane season and oh boy and it was pretty spooky this yeah that would be gosh they always have to think you know what's the weather doing and keep the weather radio close by and stuff like that right and do we have enough for you know um food storage and enough uh batteries and all the kinds of things yeah yeah really every time i store batteries i wind up going to use them and they're dead they've been stored so long oh boy well then this is a little bit of relief although they still have warnings all the time around here for that's right so you know tornado season hurricanes and stuff so um-hum well i yeah i don't really like tornadoes either but yeah but uh at least there isn't at least i feel like i got rid of something yeah hurricanes so not too much of that yeah well i've been worried about mostly with having little kids now with taking them out in the Summer and getting them burnt up i mean i have to keep the sun screen on them just constantly when they go outside yes because they say it's just so dangerous for little ones to get a bad sunburn and it is and i just i can't believe this the record temperatures that have were here last summer that so yeah a hundred and ten degrees and it was just unbelievably hot and i can't stand to be outside at all when it's like that i just don't even want to go out you know the house to get the mail even leave me in the air conditioning that is pretty bad we had our air conditioning broke break last last Summer the switch got something wrong with the switch and we had to call somebody out to fix it because i couldn't take it more than a few hours without it on but oh i know i can't imagine even well that would it is just pretty bad but so i guess um yeah i guess the weather hasn't changed too much from here to Houston and yeah but it is like you say coming a little bit further up north yeah yeah it's a little bit nicer to have a Spring and a Fall season where you have some pleasant weather everyday where you can feel like you just want to open your windows and no yeah that's really nice i hate having to leave the house closed you know closed up all the time um-hum yeah and get some fresh air in the house and it feels good but yeah but i guess well have you been here during the real heavy heavy rains i mean i can't remember what time of year i think it's usually t his time of year when we get some just torrential down pour gosh there was flooding our neighbors had flooding so badly it was like a foot deep in their house last year no but i remember oh no they had to replace all their carpeting and everything it was miserable now that sounds awful yeah that would not be fun no i have seen those i have driven around in the neighborhoods and seen those little flood gauges that will be there little yellow signs um-hum it's you know has it like from one foot to four foot and i thought i would never buy a house were there is a flood gauge down the street oh really oh gosh no kidding talk about asking for trouble huh yeah that would be awful yeah yeah well i've got some kids out on the trampoline i need to go look and see what they're doing okay well have a good day thanks bye-bye well you too bye-bye okay okay that made a nice ugly sound yeah your name is Lynn Linda okay so Linda uh-huh so it sounds like you like to read yeah i i read quite a bit i probably don't read as much as i would like to i don't read as much as i would like to either i'm i'm a single mom but i i've always loved reading what do you like to read uh-huh um well um i'm a i'm a counselor a therapist by trade so most of my books are um i guess what you'd call self-improvement type of books oh well that's what i've been reading lately a lot of um my interests switch around dramatically i used to read just mainly fiction fiction and now i like like a said i've read a lot of self self help books uh-huh what kind of things have you read oh i read all kinds of things for um helping people uh survive a divorce uh The Road Less Traveled was probably one of my favorites have you read that um-hum um-hum i i haven't gotten through it yet you haven't no okay well what would you recommend um as as far as dealing with divorce oh i'm i'm kind of getting that one past me but a good self help book good self help well um probably the best one that i i know of and i work with all the time is called Search for Significance yeah um that sounds good it's by Robert Magee and it's one that that we use in our work uh it's probably one you'd find in in like a Christian book store um uh-huh i don't know what the chains are down there maybe in the mall family book store something like that uh-huh i'm writing it down that does sound that's sound really good um what kind of counseling do you do or should we stay on the topic of books um probably should stay on the topic but that has a little bit to do with some of the things that i read i um um-hum a therapist for Rossa it's a Christian treatment organization oh and because of that i see i work with adolescents specifically so i i see a lot of kids with with various problems right now some of the things i'm working with are kids that are dealing with sexual abuse so a lot of the books i've been reading uh have to do with with helping them get through uh those issues oh i would imagine helping them feel good about themselves they're at a bad stage anyway and then to have to deal with sexual abuse would be terrible as a teen um-hum that's uh boy uh that must be a wonderful feeling to be in that profession and be able to make a contribution like that well sometimes it's rewarding and and sometimes it's a struggle oh i'm sure i'm sure um what other is is that just the only type of reading you've been doing or do you have you read any good novels lately um i guess i i've got so many books like that that i need to read it's it's hard for me to do a lot of uh reading yeah reading just for enjoyment just joy reading yeah i i i hear you there that's for sure in fact um i guess the last book book i've read um my oldest daughter uh-huh uh had to read Lost Horizons for her English class and i just realized i had never read it growing up so i just finished reading that for enjoyment um-hum hum that's neat and it was it was good um she she's not didn't enjoy it much so i didn't get much satisfaction trying to discuss it with her but uh i thought it was real interesting yeah i've always wanted to go back and read some of my literature texts from college um because i enjoyed some of those stories so much but i never seem to have the time to do that kind of reading um-hum um-hum i know yeah um i'm trying to think of some of my other favorite books but uh i i keep lists i must have a list of oh two hundred three hundred books that i want to read it just like oh i want to read that and i write it down oh uh-huh yeah i've got a a stack next to my bed i i tend to get a a little bit of ways in a book and then i i get distracted and or have to start on another one and so do i it's pretty tough to keep up with i was trying to think of of of i've got a copy of The Road Less Traveled but i was trying to think there's another Scott Pack book that i've got that i had read so i was uh he he also wrote People of the Lie and yeah that's the one i was thinking of yeah i i bought that one and i didn't get into involved in that one as well there's another one he wrote that even sounds better and it's kind of uh the whole concept of global peace you know it's like and communities building communities and uh um-hum someone just recently said something really neat about that uh i got involved in uh Beginning Experience Weekends and uh it was one of the people from there that uh that said that his latest book and i don't can't recall the name of it is just excellent and his whole idea is we can build a better world if people get involved in good community building projects and he did uh mention Beginning Experience Weekends as one of the you know one of the places so i have um hum that's interesting yeah it it really was a a a real fun books bunch of books that i read uh the beginning of last year were um the author of Jonathan Jonathan Livingston Seagull Seagull i can't think of his name right now pardon me um-hum is it Swift Swift uh no uh oh it'll it'll come to me but he wrote he wrote the Illusions the Illusions Illusions and A Bridge Over Time uh uh-huh A Bridge to Forever those are really really mind expanding books his concepts are so different than what i would have ever dreamed of hum i can't think of what his name is right right off the bat though but uh they they they were fun they were real just books for fun um-hum have you been involved on the switchboard long um not very long i i really just started uh-huh how did you get involved my wife has been working for TI oh i see i'm a former uh a former TI'er i just recently quit and so uh i got myself involved in a sales job and right now uh my list of books to be read have to do with uh the art of selling so oh uh-huh yeah i was just i was just thinking at at Rossa they they tend to come out with a new book every couple of weeks uh-huh just to help us deal with with all the things that we have to deal with so i keep getting stacks of books i need to read and i don't know when i'm going to get to them all there's never there's never going to be enough hours in the day even if you took speed reading huh yeah i don't think so yeah i don't think so so well i'm trying to think of what other kind have do you like to read mysteries yeah a little bit have do you like Ken Follett um trying to think he he writes uh spy novels The Eye of the Needle and uh i i've really i've really have found his books en joyable uh-huh well i like that kind of stuff i think the last novel i read i read in i guess in conjunction with my wife over vacation last year it was a um his last name's Peretti it's called Piercing no it's called This Present Darkness um it's uh it's kind of unusual book it's a lot about uh spiritual warfare and some things like that oh that sounds interesting it sounds really good hey you should make yourself a promise that you'll you'll read one novel in the next six months just just for you you know um-hum it's it's so easy to get caught up on reading just for your work or you know self improvement and you kind of forget the fun of reading yeah that's true yeah very easily so well i guess we've covered the topic pretty thoroughly i think so too oh well thank you for calling and uh i'll have to check out that book you told me about okay thank you you take care bye-bye yeah it was nice talking to you Linda okay great hope hope you like it um-hum you too bye-bye well we haven't really heard that much in the news lately about uh US involvement in Latin America since uh all this Middle East crisis began so i haven't really paid that much attention like since back in August when all of the news and all of the media began to focus in on um Iraq and the so the last thing that i remember hearing that much about is the Iran-Contra scandal that happened in the Reagan presidency can you think of anything else that's happened recently no i would agree with you we haven't had too much but uh historically we've always uh almost been like a big brother to in and to the Latin American area and uh almost used them i i i feel um i think something will have to be done down there very soon about uh um-hum about Mexico and and uh some of the other areas but with the Persian Gulf as you said it's just uh been very quiet i i keep pretty close tabs on the paper and you don't hardly see a unless it's there and we're just not seeing it well the only uh references that i have seen lately has been uh in part of the overmilitarization of Iraq was due to companies selling them arms and things and and they made references to in the past um-hum how we have given arms to uh Nicaragua and to other places in Latin America and that those might turn around and haunt us someday i mean not not to this large scale as Iraq but that whenever we give arms to people well it's um-hum as as we did and as we sold arms to pardon me to Iraq when we wanted them to fight Iran and then uh and then it turned around and um-hum um-hum i i agree we're the largest munitions producer in the world and so um there's a lot of money to be made there and it's uh be very difficult to to cut it back to a level where it should be and and then it will come back to haunt us it seems to come in cycles um-hum and i know when i spent the time that i've studied in Mexico uh since Spanish was one of my majors in college that uh there was a kind of a lot of resentment there towards America um-hum about uh like you say using them you our interest there is you know what profit we could make off of any kind of relationship with them and that we weren't normally very interested in them and they have in other in most Latin American countries they right there are a lot of the kind of problems that we've fought for in other countries you know that they have corruption and and they don't have um i mean there's just very few really modern cities right and the probably the biggest biggest problem down there is that's where the that's the drug entry points in their economies um-hum of several several of the countries especially Columbia is so built on the on the on the drugs that uh our our little war on drugs has really been laughable it's just a you know such a small amount and it does it just it um cuts off just a trickle and uh if if we can't get a handle on that through some through some uh method i don't know where where that'll be another big problem well that's right because that's just so much of the way that they make their money and so many communities have uh have to have that for farming and they don't look at it so much as you know right right and as long as we're the largest uh consumer then uh this is the market um-hum that's right if we can cut back the usage then uh maybe it'll have to go someplace else and i think it's really very sad that north of the border you know the United States and Canada is so different from the South from South America and Central America there's really a disparity between the um um-hum um-hum yeah what you i would call civilization of the countries you know right yeah we're just so much wealthier and uh and uh there has to be resentment built up and that's where uh leaders can use uh use that whenever the opportune moment arises um-hum yes it's really kind of sad and that we would go all the way to Iraq and that we would be very concerned with the situation between Jerusalem and yeah uh Israel and the Middle East Arab countries and and when we have when we have a lot of problems right right in our own back door that's right our own hemisphere but we've that's been uh that's been the way it's always been hm so i guess we've kind of neglected Latin America so uh very much so except when we need them you know when they found oil in Mexico then we got very friendly with them again right recently yeah fairly recently well that's really sad i hadn't thought about that in a long time yeah hm well i guess then i will go but i made me stop and think a minute about okay sure did not worrying so much about the Middle East crisis i know that it's not settled but there are other areas that we could focus our attention on well thank you you have a good day bye-bye always yes ma'am you too dear bye well um yes let me see let me see uh interesting subject i was i was a law student for a year and a half so i've got uh slight bit of expertise in that area not much well explain this to me i okay why do we have sometimes a petit jury isn't it um-hum and a grand jury uh okay it depends on the kind of action it is and also depends on the state um you don't have to have a jury of twelve and that's true in just about all states um it just depends on which ever state statue governs on the uh selection of juries now the the term petit usually applies applies to grand juries you have a uh a grand jury and a petit grand jury um sometimes in some states they also call a uh less than twelve member jury a petit jury uh did that sufficiently confuse you all right now when do we have them just in criminal big criminal cases um uh when when do you have what a jury when you have both like i was called for a murder trial a few weeks ago um-hum and they had had already had one trial and determined that there was enough evidence to go on and have the second one um okay so is it just murder or what where you have both uh okay i i still i still don't get it both what both juries uh at the same time no they didn't have they had had one oh okay yeah and decided that there was enough evidence and then okay uh well well what they do is on a criminal indictment first they go to the grand jury okay the grand jury will either indite or not once a person is indicted then they generally have an evidentiary hearing um and it's strange strange that there would have been a jury there because evidentiary hearings are usually are just before the judge now it's possible they had another trial in which now i i i don't know enough about it to to really to really say uh uh say how long did the other trial go do you know huh-uh i don't know and like you said maybe it was just with the judge i don't know yeah yeah yeah uh the thing is in almost almost every case when there's a question about uh the evidence against the the person there's there's what's called an evidentiary hearing and the both sides get up there and the judge decides whether or not the evidence is good yeah and if the evidence is good then they go ahead and go to trial so you were probably probably being tapped for the jury for the trial yeah well i'll tell you something i think ought to be changed what's that well they sent out eight hundred summons um-hum and about four hundred people showed up right all the others had gotten out of it um-hum um-hum then the judge went on for several hours explaining to us how the law goes um-hum and some of the particulars of the case and then all these people got to stand up if they wanted to get out of it well that was about half of us right stood up and tried to get out um-hum well i mean that took like an hour and a half at least for him to listen to everybody um-hum and then he he didn't let hardly let anybody off you know it was just like we wasted a prayer i didn't go up there because i knew i didn't have a leg to stand on um-hum yeah well it's it's hard to get out of jury duty i mean it's uh it's an obligation on on each citizen and short of uh any of the special circumstances then they generally won't let you out yeah i've been getting out of it the last few years because i was going to school um-hum you know you can plead that and i had small children but then i found out that you're not supposed to plead that unless you're the care taker you know and i'm not because i have to go to work and then they were going to day care so i shouldn't have been doing that right uh yeah but anyway well as long as they didn't question you too closely i mean the thing is uh the easiest way to get out of one of these things is uh uh uh they'll ask you questions like do you know the defendant have you heard anything about the case do you have any uh specially if it's a murder case they may be asking for uh for a capital uh a capital's capital punishment punishment um-hum uh you can always say that you object to that and they'll let you off there well i certainly i believed in it in some situations you know cases but i would feel that it would be very hard for me to impose it on somebody yeah uh that i think yeah that's that won't get you off that you you have to be you have to be dead set against it okay um the fact that you're willing the fact that you believe in it doesn't uh doesn't matter of course they're going to ask you can do you think you could impose it in this case um-hum and you know i that that to me that's always been a stupid question i i mean i don't know i haven't heard the evidence yet um-hum i mean if if if he did something really really gross then yeah well this guy that was sitting in in front of me said that he was a private investigator and he had been tailing the woman that was murdered and as far as he was concerned that this guy was guiltier than hell now listen to what he supposedly did he supposedly stuffed paper toweling up this women's nostrils and down her throat and strangled her ugh now how this happened was this rich little socialite in Plano down here in Texas decided that she was going to bump off her husband's girlfriend because he didn't want to divorce her oh God and she wanted to get a stab at more money right by knocking him off yeah right so she hired four guys to do it and this guy actually did it oh God now she uh in the mean time took off with one of her lawyers who was also under indictment for attempting drug among them they ought to make this into a TV show yeah among them cocaine right so they split anyway they got the lawyer and he's now going to side with the cate with the state so that he'll get a lesser sentence yeah he's going to turn states evidence yeah God pretty interesting huh now that that would have been fun to sit in on well now they're going to call people up after they've gone through this five page thing that we had to fill out um-hum and decide to call in people two to three at a time um-hum they're going to do this let's see all through April and May and the trials not supposed to start until June well that's the beginning of my vacation um that i don't want to be picked nothing like taking your vacation what you ought to do is reschedule your vacation real quick i can't i'm a teacher it's then or never oh yeah um gosh anyway what a way to spend your your vacation i'm not going to be summoned i mean out of four hundred i'm not going to be one of the twelve especially see i put that down that that guy had told me that but then i've heard that won't make a difference either yeah that that's well it may because it it's something that could have influenced your your your uh uh your uh your bias yeah so well there's a good chance if they if they ask you about it you know i would i wouldn't just come out and say i think the guys guilty but i i would say that i've heard enough about this that i i really have a preconceived notion of of what the guy did uh-huh and i think that you know in in other words if you if you can just show that you're not going to be that you can't be uh unbiased that's going to be enough well what do you think can we change the system well there's been all kinds of talk about it but quite honestly i don't think there's anything else that we could put in place that would work as well i mean i i realize it's cumbersome and uh uh it's time consuming and at times even ridiculous but it the that nobody's come up with any better solution but something ought to be done because if you have money you get a good lawyer and you get off well that that is that's a that's one of those things i think's sort sort of a preconceived notion on the part of the public they you can have a whole bunch of money and you can have the best lawyers but you you know if you've got if you've got a reasonable jury who will look at the evidence i mean you see that's what it all comes down to it's the jury uh if they are i mean there's no doubt that you you can pick a jury okay in some in some respects you can get the kind of jury you want but short of that i mean if people are reasonable and they'll look at the evidence and decide on that basis then then you know supposedly money doesn't count but on the other hand what can you do about it i mean what what solution is there but if you've got a good lawyer he's going to be able to get more persuasive evidence than a poor lawyer would to present and a lawyer that's you know chosen by the state that really doesn't even want to do it uh oh you mean a court appointed lawyer uh-huh yeah there's there's little doubt that i mean obviously a court appointed lawyer doesn't have the time or the resources to do as much but on the other hand i mean again what what can be done about it you know it's it's one of those i i think unsolvable sort of things i mean we we make the motions of okay well have you ever had uh had a family reunion oh yes and uh let me tell you this is really neat thing to do too that they did i didn't do it some of the other people the older people organized it and what they did was they had uh a book made up uh-huh oh and it was like when our ancestors first came over no kidding and then what they did was they asked every family to write something about their family huh and like how many kids you had and who you had married and you know it went through like and it showed who my uh well who my husband's parents were you know and who he married and then how many children we had and then like his brothers and sisters and it went through the whole family and stuff uh-huh oh that's so neat and it was so good oh great yeah but it it really did you know and plus plus it got a lot more people interested in it because you got to participate sort of um-hum yeah so so did everybody send in their information then they made a book up about it and then you could get it at the reunion right um-hum right and everybody got a book that came to the reunion and it told like uh you know where the first Connally's came over and um oh nice um-hum um-hum it told what happened when they got there and how many kids they had and it just kept coming on up through the generations so it was really that was really neat and wow that is neat so do you have a big family well he does he does i don't but uh he has enough relatives to make up for me not having any oh he does yeah that's kind of how my husband and i are i have a kind of a big family and he just has himself and his brother and his parents and that's it so he had to kind of get used to us when we first started going together uh-huh yeah that's what that's what happened when i when i first uh met my husband i said this can't be you know nobody can have this many relatives because a lot of them lived in like a group you know down one highway uh-huh uh-huh and there was a lake and they all lived down there by it oh how nice and so we were going down the highway you know and he kept saying this is where my uncle and this is where my aunt lives and my uncle you know and we and i kept thinking oh my gosh this guy is putting me on nobody has this many relatives you know so but they really were all there and another thing that's real good about um yeah how funny family reunion is having everybody just cook whatever is their specialty and bring it at because nobody it seemed like liked the same thing um-hum um-hum um-hum oh but you had a choice and then you got to taste a lot of new dishes and stuff too and got get a lot of good recipes where if you set a certain thing and say okay we're going all going to have fried fish or we're all going to have fried chicken yeah yeah yeah yeah everybody might not like that not be able to do it so did people come like from out of town to the reunion or they did did you put them up in other peoples houses or did you have hotel rooms or how'd you do it oh yeah yeah they came from all over um they just stayed with different ones of them they just came down and like say okay this aunt and uncle Kip uh all their kids and their grand kids and everything and then they had it it it gotten so big that they had it at the church they did um-hum um-hum oh really and they had a church service ahead of it you know and then they had uh how nice then they ate out on the ground and they just brought food with them um-hum um-hum did they just have like over a weekend is that how they did it uh-huh well i'm real curious because my family i didn't sound i don't think my family is as big as your husband's i don't think we'd need a whole church but um yeah um-hum the problem is we are all really scattered around there isn't any one place where most of us live so if we ever had a reunion we'd kind of all have to stay in a hotel i mean you know there'd be one person who lived there that would have a house but they couldn't put everybody up so it i think it would get kind of expensive but you know what you can do at a lot of these lakes and things if you could find a centrally located like uh say it's about the same distance for all of y'all to come they have these places where you can rent them um uh-huh and it you know like on a lake and it's like uh it's a big place i mean you know it got and it got little rooms that separate off of it and stuff and it's not very expensive that a way uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh oh you mean so oh i see so everybody could stay together yeah a house or something right it's like a they have like a a convention type thing and then it has little rooms off of it where you know you'd go and sleep at night time but then it has like a kitchenette and things like that but you uh-huh oh see that would be great because then you could spend so much more time together than if you all were in your own hotels or something and then every time you wanted to go eat right and another with somebody you'd probably have to go to out eat or something it would run into a lot of money so yeah but they had that was you know that that sounds like fun what you can do is you can uh write different places the Chamber of Commerce and tell them what you're interested in and ask them what they have you know at area lakes and all um-hum um-hum um-hum yeah if they have something like that because now every time we plan anything just about we write to the Chamber of Commerce of where we're going because you can find out so much easier that a way than try to locate it you know um-hum you get a yeah calling different places can really really run you up a bill but uh if you can find a centrally located place where everybody would have to come about the same distance i mean you can't get it exact you know usually yeah oh yeah but uh and then everybody goes that place and me it's not bad at all uh-huh uh-huh but they have lot of times they'll have like uh little cabins and three or four or five families can stay in those cabins because they have you know just the single bunk beds and stuff um-hum uh-huh and they can all stay in those cabins and then you know you can have cookouts and stuff like that that doesn't cost you as much that'd be great that'd be really nice yeah but that's uh you know that's the best way i found because whenever you have something where you go and now we had one yeah that soun d good this was before i lost a lot more of my family but it wasn't any of my immediate family anyway because i didn't have any of them left but um they had uh uh uh-huh uh-huh thing where you could everybody could come and meet and go out to eat um-hum but i didn't think that was as good because it was like you know you couldn't really talk and stuff like you could when you was at the lake or somewhere you know where you were out this was like ev erybody came into town and went to this restaurant yeah yeah yeah yeah right and you have to sit at a table and just yeah yeah and it just i didn't like that one as well well um did you was it hard to decide what who to invite and who not to invite i mean did you have to draw a line or did the people that had that reunion have to draw a line like they just whoever wanted to come no what they did was well see what they did was okay they uh wrote they wrote to all the initial people you know the the oldest ones uh-huh right okay then those in turn got a hold of these other ones and they had like i think there was four or five different people that would call um-hum um-hum um-hum you know some of them if they didn't have their addresses and all on and you know they told them that what we had to do was when we sent back in our information we had to tell them how many people were going to be coming yeah you know and then when they when they talked to us or when they sent us the letter it uh you know to get the information and all it asked you know will you be willing to bring and you had to check off what all you would be willing to bring right right uh-huh oh i see and so really there wasn't any problem with that's the reason it ended up in a church because i mean there was just so many of them there yeah yeah but it turned out so much better like that because everybody knew they knew ahead of time how many people to expect yeah right now if there was a sickness or something like that i mean you know you're not going to lose that many sure sure no that would just be a few but how about like because of divorce and stuff like that like my parents are divorced and they're both remarried and you know there i mean there's i don't know right okay well well see then okay if you wanted them both to come then you would put you would have put that down on the list and you would have sent you would have been the one that sent their invitation to them and ask for their information yeah yeah yeah so then i i'm kind of like in control over who comes of just from my family to send back to those other people right because once it went to the the oldest people and then they knew who they wanted to invite then they sent their little things to us okay it was up to me yeah yeah um-hum who i was going to you know whether i wanted my kids and you know my any of my family to come right right i see i see that's a pretty good idea to do it that way so and then you know it never did like if i didn't want somebody to come then i just wouldn't send them one of the questionnaires um-hum right right right well that's a real good idea huh so there really wasn't a problem that a way well but i tell you what that's the neatest book we've got course we've got well you know we've still got it and they charged us i think it was like i bet it was like five or six dollars i can't remember exactly you know that we paid for the book to be printed and it's not uh it's not a hard back book it's just a um-hum yeah yeah um-hum oh like a you know folder type thing but it has the entire you know it has everybody that you could ever imagine and some you couldn't uh-huh how neat yeah i know that's really neat that's really neat and it'll be something my kids will have you know just like i was just thinking of that what you could tell your kids yeah because if you stop and think i don't know if you're like me but i know very little about before my grandparents i mean very very little about it um-hum um-hum i just the thing is i know a lot of stories but i can't remember who it was about my grandparents told us when i was growing up and even when i was an adult they still tell all kinds of stories about their parents and their cousins and their friends best friends because they all grew up in New York City but i can't you know so i remember these stories but i have no idea who it was that was in those stories yeah so i i mean i couldn't give an accurate i couldn't tell my kids what you know those people were like i just remember they have some funny stories but i don't know who it was maybe what you could do if you couldn't get into a full family reunion and you wanted to go back some but then usually when you find out some information from like your parents um-hum um-hum yeah then you can find out from you know you can find somebody else that can tell you something else about these the rest yeah are you in the new car market right now no i'm not uh and i won't be for a while it's kind of called not having the money but i always like to look at what's out there are you looking at cars right now i'm not looking right now but i have been considering what i would purchase uh in the near future what have what are you thinking about um well i'm getting in the in my mid thirties now i'm looking more for a uh kind of a luxury sedan i guess i'm driving a two door coupe sport coupe right now and i'm getting a little tired of it um-hum so you're looking at uh luxury luxury cars a little bit bigger yeah a little bigger and have you looked at uh the Buick Riviera i haven't uh really been out looking at cars uh uh it's something i would possibly consider it is well i happen to drive that one just because i think it looks nice and um i owned a Buick for a while and it it performed real well uh-huh um um i don't i have a lot of friends that have bought cars recently and it just seems like there's and epidemic um a million people who that buy Honda Civic uh Honda Accords its like everybody buys a Honda Accord right and i really don't know what makes them select that over any other car i don't know i've been told to check out the uh Acura Legend first though and i guess they're made by Honda as well that's oh are they i didn't know that i didn't know that it's the uh luxury line of the Hondas i think uh and i uh i've read some articles too about oh i think the last one that got me going i don't know much about it at all but those little Geos uh-huh they're kind of cute and they get excellent gas mileage i mean they're like the top rated gas mileage car out there yeah i do need something that gets a little better mileage than what i'm getting getting right now um-hum i get about thirteen miles per gallon whoa now i've been uh leaning more towards looking at uh Mercedes Benzes say four or five years old oh that sounds nice not the new cars but uh ones that are more affordable um-hum they tend to be very reliable and uh people that uh own them uh typically have them serviced on a regular maintenance schedule i think they're kept in uh better condition than uh most other cars i agree with you there i have uh a friend who has one and you know another thing is is they don't age they always look the same so you really don't know what what year it is uh uh-huh yeah they don't change style very often i like that they don't and uh they you know they're a quality car they uh-huh if you were to buy uh a new car right now what factors would do you consider uh looking at to make you decision well i would definitely have to look at price uh-huh uh and i would look at what i could afford uh i definitely would chose a car on on what appeals to me as far as looks but it'd have to be dependable uh i find that price is always the governing governing governing factor uh regardless of what else you're looking at so it it'd have to be it's difficult to buy something that's out of your price range something that you can't afford exactly and there there's such a range of prices prices in the car market that if you don't start by narrowing it down by that factor i mean that really gets you into just one little slot and then there are many many options to go to go to from there uh i'd one thing that always interests me is whether or not to buy an American car or a foreign car uh-huh well i yeah i drive a Pontiac right now and i've had very good luck with it uh no problems i'm just changing my preference for what type of car i'd like to drive in the future um-hum so you're going to uh something a little bit bigger and and having better gas mileage too yeah eventually i'd like to do something like that uh-huh get out out of uh uh driving this uh teenage teenage automobile well you make me laugh because right now i what i did is i i acquired a car through my folks which is a nineteen eighty four LTD and my teenage daughter hates it because it's an old persons car sure well there are cars that teens absolutely will refuse to drive oh well absolutely and uh it's it's a nineteen eighty four car and it has eighteen thousand miles on it actual miles so it's kind of thing like i'm going to drive this car until it dies you know i mean it's just too good to and then maybe when i go out and look in in the car market i'll be able to get what i really want and uh-huh do you prefer buying uh cars new from uh dealerships or uh buying used cars from individuals oh i think i'm going to fall in to the category of most women uh in saying that i feel better going to a dealership because i don't know anything about a car mechanically right but don't you feel intimidated by talking to a car salesman oh that was an experiment i did last year was i went and and talk and drove a few cars and talked with the the salesman and i found that uh i had matured a little bit in that they don't intimidate me at all okay well that's great if they can make you feel at ease that's pretty good uh oh they well they they make you they don't make you feel at ease but i've come to the point where i know that i'm the one they charge and that they can't you know right talk me into something um i think they're intimidating to both men and women they certainly are and they try to take advantage of uh the consumer's ignorance towards automobiles and exactly and once you once they sense that you really like something then you're really in trouble yeah if they sense that you're really interested and that's the car for you they're when they're negotiating position is that they're going to get as much money out of you as they can um-hum exactly with as many options piled on yeah the uh i had also had a had a nineteen eighty four uh Bronco too which uh my ex-husband had purchased i paid it off and and when i acquired this LTD i thought well i'm going to sell this car while i can get some money out of it yet so i was the selling a car and that was interesting because i had to kind of research well what is it worth um and kind of understand what someone would ask me about it sure well you tend to do a lot better on selling a used car as an individual placing an ad in the paper as opposed to trading it in at a dealership oh yes absolutely and yet at the same time it's it's a matter of like selling anything else you have to find someone who wants that pa rticular item sure well i've found that any car that runs is basically in demand uh-huh uh-huh and uh you can go pretty much by the blue book value or by uh comparison uh listings that's what i did is i kind of did a little bit of both Blue book is kind of a dream it's kind of like if you can attain it you're doing well yeah um-hum but if you go by what the other cars are listing for then you can rest assured that you're going to get right in that ball park Honda so yeah uh yeah i agree with you on that how so how soon do you think you'll be purchasing a car well i'm not sure i'm i'm just uh kind of thinking about it and haven't really made any uh decisions or commitments on it do you think of colors at all when you well i drive a black car right now and i've always liked black but uh i maybe uh interested in other colors uh i'm not really interested in yellow or white uh-huh but i've always had a preference for red uh-huh and black and uh well it's just something i'd have to think about depended on it depends on which uh what cars are available that's right would you order it or would you uh oh no i would uh go to the want ads in the paper and uh find one that would meet my uh needs uh-huh well that sounds exciting it really does so well maybe maybe sometime soon i don't know probably not this year i think i need to concentrate more on getting a paint job for the car that i have right now uh-huh and just keeping it in uh good operating condition well that sounds like a good plan you might as well just you know get it enjoy it for one more year and get it in good shape shape for selling it or trading it in yeah well that's the point it isn't costing me any money right now it's running uh very well and i haven't had car payments for seven years i enjoy that immensely uh-huh my goodness what type of car do you are you driving i'm driving a nineteen eighty Trans AM uh-huh the only trouble i have with it is with insurance companies oh i'm sure they don't want to insure it uh-huh because it has such uh just because it's a sporty model powerful enough right right has nothing to do with driving record i have no accidents or tickets and uh they're very reluctant uh yet even to insure that car uh-huh i can understand that they're i mean they're just very difficult to work with and they can they can see a potential for a problem even if your record is good yeah well my insurance agent told me that uh when when i uh bought a new car or when when i more specifically when i bought my Honda to give him a call because then he would he would make me a good deal on an insurance policy well that's good but i haven't really no intention of buying a Honda they don't really appeal to me that much i it uh well it's it's more like an economy car right right and uh i'd be looking more of uh more for a luxury sedan something with a little more status you seem to put a lot of um image into your selection of a car which lots of people do i really don't consider it to be a status symbol uh it's just i'm interested i know people who have cars of that nature and uh they tend to hold their quality that's true and hold their value uh-huh uh-huh uh and they're just very attractive automobiles as far as i'm concerned and i liked what you said also about when people have cars that are uh that are quality cars what kind of lawn and garden work do you do well right now the place where i'm living the yard was basically neglected for the about the last twenty five years so i've been trying to rebuild and reestablish the entire lawn and after three years of working at it i've i've been amazed at just what a little bit of doing help out things to the lawn has really brought it back instead instead of mowing it the same direction every time changing one day you'll or one one one time you'll cut it cut the lawn the long way then you'll go the opposite way instead of going lengthways you go width and it helps the grass come back oh does it really i didn't know that did um you've been working on it for three years for for three years really what have you done killing lots of fire ants i was firmly convinced the entire front yard was nothing but one gigantic ant mound uh-huh because it was like you couldn't you couldn't even stand still out there without ants starting you know i can barely hear you is this better yeah a little bit yeah it was like you'd go out in the yard to water something you'd just be standing still uh-huh and the ants would start crawling up your legs and it's like i'm not standing in a mound though oh wow how did you get rid of them uh Dursban Two pardon a chemical called Dursban Two it's a crystal oh Dursban Two yeah Dursban will get rid of just about anything i think but um so you haven't had a problem with that since um not bad every once in a while you'll have a mound pop up but that's yeah gonna to be expected what else did it kill did it kill anything else it wasn't supposed to um as far as i can tell it hasn't killed anything it wasn't supposed to the even the area of the grass that was underneath and around the mounds it didn't kill it not really yeah really well that's pretty wild we yeah we used it for fleas we had fleas in our yard real bad last year and we did that um i just i'm not basically i like to mow the lawn believe it or not but i sometimes have problems starting the mower so a lot of times i don't get out and do it but my husband basically does most of it and he does the you know edging and all that kind of thing and we're renting and so we don't really put a lot of money into the uh you know this like this lawn could probably stand a couple of loads of dirt and some Saint Augustine we just we have winter rye out back and we have i don't even know what it is out front but um we this is the first house we've ever lived in and we're just not real into the lawn probably because we rent i guess huh but anyway well well you said you had problems with fleas last year in the yard right uh-huh we get uh i found one thing that it's kind of a weird thing to say to put out in the lawn but every time i've done it it's got it it drives the fleas completely out of the area what powdered sulphur oh really hm i wonder why it does you don't you don't have to put a whole lot out just if you've got a broadcast spreader uh-huh i think it comes in a forty pound bag and it's real fine like flour uh-huh and you just sift yeah go out and do the entire yard and you i mean you don't have to put clumps of it just very lightly cover the entire yard really well i'll have to remember that because uh hopefully we won't have them this year but we have a cat that comes in and out and the cat was getting um fleas and stuff and bringing them in the house so we had a real problem last year with fleas and it was uh quite a drag because um we got them in our house and we're Christians and we prayed that we could get rid of these fleas and we got rid of them believe it or not with smoke bombs which is just about impossible to do but we did and so we don't want them back this year you know so i'll remember that if we see it's a problem in the yard we almost they were so bad last year even ticks it i don't know we've had ticks before a lot and we've had to get out and treat our lawn for that i think we used Dursban we used Dursban and Diazinon and get out there and do what you do with that thing you know and spread it all out everywhere but that's about the extent of our lawn care so i don't know do you enjoy doing it oh i love it my wife can't understand it'd be a hundred degrees outside i'll be out there but it's too hot to be working in the yard i'm under the trees i'm having fun and i'm stopping to drink water so what's the problem yeah well that's well that's funny yeah not everybody enjoys it though everybody has a different things i kind of enjoy it and my husband doesn't i kind of have to sometimes i'm too busy to get out there and do it and he you know he doesn't really enjoy doing it but he'll do it and he doesn't gripe about it or anything but you know i'm kind of like you and he's kind of like your wife and you know in that he doesn't really enjoy it but i would like to have a garden though that's my thing but right now where we're living we have the trees where the uh roots are at the top of the ground everywhere all over the ground i don't know what kind of trees they are but you can't have a garden you can't till it or it'll it'll tear up a nice tiller so we're going to wait until we move we don't have a lot of sun either because it big trees back there so we're going to wait and when we move that's one of our priorities is to get a house where we can have a um garden and so i'd like to do that i have a feeling i'll be out there all the time taking care of that but that's our next thing do you have a garden i've got the this is the neat thing about the place we ended up at i'm sitting on about a two acre lot now and uh half of it's the back half is my garden um-hum oh are you kidding that sounds fun where do y'all live uh in Missouri City southwest southwest side of Houston oh really what southwest where southwest Houston oh really oh because we're in Dallas i guess i assumed you were here well that's neat and um yeah that's what we want we have a yeah that's really what we want but we just haven't been able to do that yet so one day we'll be able to do it and i'm excited about it and then i don't know anything about it and i'll have to learn and maybe i'll give you a on gardening what do you do in your garden and i'll go nothing what is should i do but anyway i guess that's about it though it sounds like we've covered all the bases so i guess we'll let you go and um do you have anything else you wanted to say uh no enjoyable very enjoyable conversation with you okay i know you too i hope you have a nice day and we'll talk to you later bye okay you too okay bye-bye okay we're energized um painting interesting uh the guy called me when she called me the computer called me i thought that they were reading my mind i'm in the middle of um going out for bids to have my house painted okay oh uh painting is not hard to do uh as long as it's not in not to the point of where it's uh needs to be scraped and bleeding and peeling no right and our house is not but it's starting to bleed through and burn through because the paint's real cheap and it's just a hassle to go do it so i'm looking for the easy way out and uh yeah i know did is it easy to find painters uh painters to do this for you it's easier to find painters but you have to be you have to be aware of what of how messy they can get and are they gonna put on a good a good two coats and are they gonna caulk exterior right are you talking about outside or inside exterior yeah yeah uh interior's not so bad it's because it's more fun it's more convenient but you get outside where you have high peaks and those kind of things it can be a real issue well yeah well when we've painted um right now our house doesn't have to have the same kind of exterior painting there it's more trim because it has some of the old asbestos shingles um-hum on the back and there's some sort of stone or something in the front so there isn't as much wood that has to be painted um but it it the problem is that it hits the sun hits it so preparing it is a real problem you've got to prepare it well or else it'll flake um-hum um-hum here the um some of the home builders are they they don't put brick on the side of your houses to save money so they put up a lot uh little quarter inch Masonite basically and they're painted kind of like a spun of some sort and so it's real cheap and uh uh i've had thirteen hundred dollar bid and i've as low as five hundred and forty dollars so it's just a matter of it's wow that's quite a range oh yeah one guy brags about his his piece of equipment he's using and the drop cloths and all that kind crap and i'm not so much worried about that as what yeah i don't want it all over the brick and windows and and the yeah which might be a bigger problem than it would be uh yeah absolutely oh sure so y'all you haven't had any any jobs painted in your house or recently then no we have uh done a little painting ourselves um we painted a bedroom uh well within the last couple of months um and we have we have some more that need to be done but the just fun um-hum the problem that we we've owned this house almost five years now and um when we bought it the um it had been vacant for a while because the family had retired to Arizona but the daughter was a real estate agent and she was selling it and it'd been lived in briefly by her before she bought her town house so she told us that the house had been uh professionally painted recently and it looked pretty good you know the interior walls all basically white but they obviously had been done without to much uh wear afterward the only problem was when we started having the movers move the uh furniture in we identified the various rooms by pieces of masking tape on the wood uh the door frames when we took the masking tape off half the painted came with it um-hum uh that's not very big long strips so what had happened is that professional painters had not prepared the surface properly and some of that still has to be redone oh man just painted over varnished wood oh my yeah well no actually it had been uh it would had been a repaint job hm but they had not um either they had painted with the wrong kind of paint over top or they hadn't really roughed it up or whatever they would because it was woodwork so it looked as if it had been painted um-hum correctly with you know uh an enamel or something but um it had not either that or it had had not been prepared underneath and it was greasy or something sure it comes off in strips i mean not even little bit so we still have some of that trim work to do because we put it off all this time we know what a job it's gonna be because you almost have to strip the whole thing in order do it again oh no hm i wish you good luck okay thank you bye thank you very much bye-bye i like everything but jazz you like everything but jazz what don't you like about jazz i just don't the the beat the tempo the whatever it is that makes it jazz just grates on my nerves i just so do you like do you like rhythm and blues yes i like rhythm and blues and i like country western and i like yeah Waylon okay i like country western it's my favorite yeah Willie Willie Waylon and the boys in fact we bought uh The Eagle uh on a cassette tape i think The Eagle's even the name of the tape before it became the the song of the war uh-huh yeah uh-huh so yes do you like um any rock and roll at all i like some uh art course we have a twenty five year old son who loves hard rock and i'm not right i can't stand that no i'm not that much on hard rock but he does have a lot of cassettes of uh CDs that i like the i guess you'd have to call it soft rock i like Rod Stewart and and some of the things he does yeah yeah in fact uh when our car was stolen of a little over a year ago in Baltimore i had a Rod Stewart tape in there that i was thinking the other day that i ought to replace because i really kind of miss that music but yeah some of my favorite groups are like Chicago and uh oh some of the i guess what what you could call softer rock groups they were the bigger groups in the seventies and till all the heavy metal and all that came in and um-hum that's too much isn't it yeah i don't care for that at all it's it's so loud and the so many of the lyrics are so offensive and yeah gosh we don't need that no i got away from all that rock and roll stuff probably ten years ago and just started listening to the country when you matured i like some classical to and yeah i guess so i like some classical some of that stuff grates on my nerves too like you were saying earlier about the other i just stir up but there are some pieces that are really pretty um-hum um-hum i think we hear more crap classical music than we think we do because of how much of it's used in commercials right commercials and cartoons and things like that um-hum they slipped that in on us when we're not looking uh-huh try to give it to us subliminally that's cheating isn't it well i think we like the same kind of music nice chatting with you that's right i think so same here okay um what baseball team are you familiar with well i'm only a little bit familiar with the Red Sox because i lived up in Boston for a while really and um the Mets oh now come on no Texas Rangers after that if you asked me that i wouldn't have been able to tell you if that was football or baseball really i guess they paired two women together on this call for a reason which is something we can think about later but um i understand a little bit about the Texas Rangers i know George Bush threw out the first pitch the other night and it bounced off the ground and that um that i heard a joke on the radio yesterday that in regard that he didn't design the patriot missile system and uh the which was kind of cruel i mean think the the shame that must have been on President Bush to bounce the first pitch off the ground i mean golly how humiliating for a man to do that any man i don't care if you're President yeah but at the same time i don't know it's pretty far to throw that far i couldn't do it i know but he's a man come on men know how to do that right right he's supposed to be able to do that i know so i felt kind of sorry for him i said oh no that must have been hard on him because he's just a person but um i know his son is a major owner of our team of the team here oh really i didn't know that yeah he's like i thought he was the owner but it turns out my mom said that he's part owner but he must own the biggest chunk because that's all you hear about is if you know about Neal Bush i think is his name see i even know his name because he's on the news a lot and i never hardly watch the news not you know not like some people hour and a half a day or anything I have yeah and i've been watching uh my husband's French and so if i've been watching the French news when i watch it it's incentive speaking of Bush we're going to get a little off topic but speaking of Bush they that had uh-huh a story where he went to visit some little uh elementary school students and stuff did you see that where he the guy asked him for proof of who he was and he showed his license oh i saw that yeah i want to see your driver's i i i don't i you're not President Bush i know and i want to see a credit card i know and he pulled that out that is so funny i heard it on the radio i heard the audio portion on the radio in the car but i didn't see it but it was so funny to see it was a really cute little kid too that's about my extent of um about baseball i don't know that much about it well i can tell you that the Mets opened i think two days ago because my brother was supposed to go to the opening game and i couldn't tell you who pitched but they won the Mets won but yeah not my a lot and then somebody else lost uh-huh uh-huh did they maybe it was the other New York team which is the Yankees but i don't even know if they're still New York Yankees or the New Jersey yeah uh-huh that's so stupid that you all have two teams that's really stupid well but it then then they can have them play against each other yeah i know i think it's still the New York Yankees you know for some reason i thought they were moving to New Jersey this is how much i know about baseball yeah the Texas Rangers they they lost i think uh-huh but i know that last year we did go to a baseball game last year we got free tickets because someone at our church one of the deacons at church um parks cars at the Mansion at Turtle Creek which is like one of the uh the places and stuff uh-huh and he's their head chauffeur is this funny as they're parking the cars the valet service right yeah he makes good money too doing that you'd be shocked i was shocked but anyway someone gave an Iranian a tip of four Rangers tickets last year uh-huh and then the Iranian couldn't he didn't want them so he gave them to Alan and Alan and his Dad had plans that night so they gave them to us so he decided that some wealthy man tipped this Iranian with baseball tickets valet with baseball tickets and we ended up with them right and so we were walking up and i looked at my husband and i said you know what Kyle yeah it's pretty funny this is The Mansion at Turtle Creek a tip i bet these are really good seats and so we ended up on first base right down there on the floor and you know we just they called us at five and the game started at seven so we just threw everything together ran over and got the tickets and wow left and so we took two kids with us and nobody brings two children in these seats you know because because they're fancy seats and stuff yeah and you just sit down and all the girls were all dressed up and all this you know i just was there you know like i made it i'm here you know and uh it was just kind of funny because you know but we got to sit by first base if they'd hit a ball i would have been afraid it would have knocked my face in you know i know i'm always scared of that whenever i go to a game i rarely go but we went last year because my brother my brother is impossible when um he does football leagues and baseball leagues and all kinds of stuff and if there's a game on he's watching it i mean that's all there is to it and he's like glued at the TV uh-huh uh-huh really oh i'm glad my husband's not like that oh i'm glad my husband's not like that either i'd kill him my brother's like that and um see he goes to a lot of games not a real lot but he tries to go then my father got us some tickets so my brother's wife and my husband and i went last year we wanted to show my husband what a baseball game was because you know being a non American uh-huh uh-huh you want to see what a baseball game is like and he describes it as you sit there in a crowd and it was nice weather and stuff it wasn't a real problem but you sit there in a crowd and you're waiting and waiting and waiting and you eat these lousy the hot dogs um because we made him try a hot dog you know and things like that and um that's funny and um so you sit there and you wait for the longest time really bored and then all of a sudden something happens but you happen to look the other way during the time yeah and so you're basically you sit there and wait for something exciting to happen and when it happened he missed it you miss the whole thing that's funny and didn't understand it and it where is he from in France um he grew up out well he grew up in Le Ren which is the sort of um oh strip east to west eastern part of France uh-huh yeah i have a i had a friend in college from Strasbourg yeah he's not that far he was sort of in between Strasbourg and Paris uh-huh Paris and my cousin lives in Paris and she's lived there for like oh off and on for twenty years oh is she still there uh huh Saint Claude is that sound familiar yeah because yeah Saint Claude yeah we used to that's one of the um entrances to the periphery to get in and out of the city oh really and it it it it sits right at the limit uh-huh i don't know exactly where she is but um that's neat yeah she does and they have twelve children we we met in Paris twelve children oh my God the poor woman she has twelve children she looks gorgeous no she's gorgeous a nd she just liked having kids and she's thin and i mean all my friends with four or more children are thin i mean i'm not kidding you were any of them twins you probably can't afford to eat if you have more than two of them no you have i have a friend now that has seven and um and they're all eight and under uh-huh or nine and under they're all real young they're just really feel like that's what God's told them to do but they're not condemning you if you we only have one child you know they don't say they don't put airs on about it or anything which is good because it would be easy i'm sure for them to do that you know you get a conviction like that and you think everyone should have it and so i'm real proud of them because they're aren't really they don't do that at all you go in their bathroom and there's ten tooth brushes in there and i always give her a hard time i go now come on who's toothbrush did you really use this morning uh-huh but how do they afford to even have the kids uh we're expecting our first baby almost any day uh-huh they live lean for one thing and they tithe and they really believe the Bible says that tithe puts it puts a hole in your money bag we don't honor God with the first portion and so they i think that helps a lot i think that's the key and and he like his sales last year he just works a normal job he probably has an income of thirty five thousand but last year he made one sale that got him a bonus of twenty five thousand which allowed him to pay cash for a full size van uh-huh you know it's God i mean it was the biggest thing that any one in this company had ever done and he got to do it and so God just really blesses him in ways like that just trust God because i don't know kids are a blessing and and some people we think of blessings as wow nice furniture and things like that but kids are just as much of a blessing as all these material things but it's a different kind and a lot times people think oh well i'm not blessed i have an old car but you've got five kids you know you're just as blessed probably more uh-huh because if you follow this there's a good book called What the Bible Has to Say About Child Training by Richard Fugate and he's you know a lot of wisdom in it and the kids in the Bible talk about anything but training and training is different uh-huh than anything else in in psychology doesn't address it a lot of the psychology stuff the good stuff that's in psychology it just comes out of the Bible and they don't quote you the proverb out of it but the things that work in psychology other the years that they've proven to work they just come out of the Bible and so this book it just really ties in all these things and how to train the child so they're not going to be a curse to you when they're thirteen uh-huh you know what i mean how to train them so they're going to be a blessing and so you know they do that and they they just live lean pretty much they don't she doesn't shop at Foley's you know and stuff like that but a lot women in Dallas shop at Foley's so Foley's it's like a Macy's kind of store it's pretty nice and everything's pretty expensive and you know you just can't do that and you don't go to baseball games as much or you get pictures like we did you know what i mean i don't i don't know what Foley's is uh-huh yeah you do these fun things you know in other kinds of ways and i know Manhattan's real expensive but um it's kind of a different situation because you're probably living in an apartment right yeah well that makes a really big difference but but still it's just as hard as having that but well he can your cousin could have a baseball team with twelve kids yeah well have a church state softball leagues so they're not all boys and uh-huh right now we don't have a girl's league because i'm the one that's supposed to start one and i just haven't gotten around to doing it i keep saying we need to have one they go okay then start one but everybody wants to do it but you know God's sitting on my heart and i just hadn't gotten around to doing it anyway so they could really only have four members on the team i think they only have four boys i don't even think they have but two old enough to play yet uh-huh but um they you wouldn't believe it though her kids are the they are so good i'm not kidding you but she does work with them and it's a commitment and that that's what they're called to do uh-huh i have a most of my friends i admire someone that can do that you know i really can i know i do too i most of my friends have three or four kids and they feel like you know that's really all that God wants for them and some of the people in our church use birth control and some of them don't i had my tubes tied so you all right do you do garden work as little as possible i'm a college student uh-huh so if i do any garden work it's only when i go home in the Summer oh where do you go to college where's that it's about two hours north of Pittsburgh oh okay yeah yes well do you do you know do you do gardening at home yeah we go home well we have a large family there's twelve kids in my family oh my goodness so like almost all our vegetables and everything is from the garden hm so we have a pretty good size garden yeah well i guess you glad you got to go to college so you'd get some rest but we have like a lot like my mom likes flowers so we have a lot of flowers too yeah i had a whole bunch of flowers and things well i don't have as many now we lived in the country for a long time and i had a whole bunch but so um-hum now i work and i live in the city so that sort a kind of hung it up i have a few flowers but most of mine are like in barrels and things like that um-hum and this year i decided that well my husband made a little garden out there with some tomatoes and stuff in it but i decided that i don't like grass i don't like to have to have to pull grass um-hum uh-huh so i decided that i would plant me a tomato plant in a flower pot uh-huh to go see how it worked and mine looks real good you you know i've seen a lot of people that do that yeah i've seen you know like elderly people that really can't get out too much and sometimes like we i have a great aunt that lives in a um-hum it's it's just like uh a high rise for elderly people and you know she does her own thing and everything but she has it's like a little apartment building and she has a tomato plant year round uh-huh oh because she you know they keep it warm with for all the older people and she keeps it year round i had never thought about that i could probably plant one and bring it in and just like i bring my plants in every year uh-huh that'd be neat well i got a patio and i tried to talk my husband into just buying a whole bunch of pots and planting them all in it you know because that's favorite thing is tomatoes to grow um-hum and so um but he said no he was going to plant in the earth you know like he always has because he's always had a garden out in the country um-hum and i think he kind of misses it a little bit you know since we moved to the city but um i went ahead and planted one and mine looks better than his it does and then i like um you know what daylilies are pardon me daylilies are are they well do they just come out in the morning then go so but we call them morning glories up here uh-huh that bite you no no hum-um these look like a lily they look like a a well they really look like an orchid oh really when they come out uh-huh that what the look like but they only bloom for one day oh they'll um you'll have a bud the evening before and then the next morning as soon as the sun hits it it opens it starts opening up and then when it gets dark it closes and that's it it only blooms for one day and then it's done completely done uh-huh oh yeah but um they look like orchids is what they look like but they look like different color ones like i have uh yellow ones and i have red ones and i have purple ones and then they have like you know the velvety real velvety looking stuff inside um-hum oh yeah it looks just like orchids in different colors that's what they look like oh that'd really pretty they are they're beautiful uh i have a friend when i lived out in the country and she had belonged to this kind of society that like every year you know or every so many months they would send you different bulbs that they came out with um-hum and i mean they were real expensive they were like well the most expensive one that she gave me a bulb for was like thirty two fifty for one bulb oh my gosh so what she would do is she would plant them and they multiplied so the next year when she you know weeded them out so they wouldn't be as thick then she'd give me some of the bulbs uh-huh and i mean i have some of the most beautiful day lilies that you've ever seen so when we decided to move it was really funny because like i said i had a whole bunch of different kinds of things and i kept saying well i want to take a few of these and i want to take these and i want to take these my husband finally said look are we going to take the grass can we leave the grass i said yes we may leave that and we had a tree take the whole grass the whole yard yeah and we had a tree that was um like seventeen foot tall or something like that and he said no no i am not taking the tree you know i mean every time we went outside he'd look at something that was humongous you know no we're not taking that but the last day he said can't we leave the grass and i said yeah i think we will leave that but um i brought um my kids when they were little they had given me uh some azaleas so i brought all my azalea bushes and you know i brought i brought as much as i could bring that'd be funny um-hum yeah uh-huh without you know really tearing up their place but just like um you know the people that bought ours um-hum they bought the place but um i knew that they would you know if i left like one bulb of each one of them by this year they'd have ten bulbs of each one of them yeah so it wasn't like it was going to be this big raw place or something you know it would cover it right up uh-huh but i just couldn't see it you know going off and leaving everything like that yeah because this house i really liked it and everything but the yard was a lot to be desired oh there was nothing these people we have one ugly pine tree um-hum i mean and it is ugly i even tried making it look nicer you know i tied the yellow ribbon around it and it was so ugly oh it did not help let me tell you i took it off and put it on my door i did not want to call attention yeah i mean it was terrible so really the plants that i brought over and put out here the are just about all i don't do any of the mowing or you know edging and all that my husband does all that stuff uh-huh but that's because i'm allergic to the grass oh that'd be awful i love going out in the Summer in the grass really now i like to go to the beach where the sand is because then it doesn't make me ill uh-huh yeah but um well even up here at school you know you it gets hot and we have the windows open well they mow the grass up here sometimes six o'clock in the morning and just to smell the grass it's just i just love the smell of freshly cut grass yeah i used to until it i got so allergic to it i don't know if it's all well i went and had some tests run and just about all the kinds i was allergic to but it's not as bad here um like Saint Augustine i think is what we have and it's not as bad as it was when we were out in the country um-hum but out in the country i mean if i went outside while he was mowing the grass i was going to have a gigantic attack oh my gosh so um i get shots for it now too that helps a whole bunch but one good thing about it see i don't have to mow the grass or i mean that's really nice uh-huh yeah but well you said that you had a garden what what all things do you plant in it or do you like to plant in it um well the first thing we always plant is tomatoes i mean every year i don't care if we don't have anything else we're going to have tomatoes and then we plant cucumbers and uh we uh-huh uh-huh do your cucumbers come good oh yeah uh really sometimes when my dad has like that's the one thing no one is allowed to touch except my dad he takes care of all the cucumbers because he said the vines are just so at our house as soon as you touch a vine it's like it completely dies really it must be the um at uh-huh sometimes we have really good luck with them but then there'll be like maybe two years in a row that we can't get anything now that's i mean that's something that grows like a weed here oh wow i mean it grows like a weed we have to allow extra room for those because you know i mean extra space between the rows and all yeah because they take up a lot yes but i mean we usually get if we plant for every one plant we probably get fifty to sixty cucumbers off of it holy smoke i mean just pulling them as fast as you can we usually give them to everybody anybody that wants a cucumber can have it but we tried it too where you run it up a fence uh-huh uh-huh and um yeah we had some weird cucumbers because they grew inside the fence i mean like the little thing would be half on one side and half on the other oh my gosh i mean it was but we they're so heavy you know they get so heavy they kind of weigh it down but uh-huh i mean cucumbers here grow like crazy wow of course it's real hot here too you know well see tomatoes grow like crazy at our house Like we have a section of tomatoes and we put the tomatoes there every year in the same section And i swear we get tomatoes six rows up um-hum yeah yeah now if we have any like the birds will pick or something you know and some of the seeds drop have you ever had them just come up in different places from that uh-huh i know we do that too you know and at the first year because i was from the city when we got married and the first year that we planted i couldn't figure out i mean the well the first year after uh-huh i mean we planted them but the first year you know after we'd had a crop yeah all these little things like we had cucumbers coming up you know in the middle of our okra and i thought how did this get here i know i didn't put that seed there and it was weird but the birds had you know evidently just uh-huh yeah deposited them for us uh-huh well sometimes too when we take out our garbage and we usually you know we just dump it in the middle of the garden you know after your garden's basically done um-hum and we're now finding out like we have peach trees in the middle of our garden now because we took peach seeds and dump them there whenever the garden like in the fall um-hum now we have peach trees coming up well do you like to do your yard work yeah this is actually a duplex that we're in so and it's rented uh-huh uh-huh we're looking into buying a house but um the landlord is supposed to do the yard work although he doesn't do it any frequency every once in a while he comes around so in the meantime we have our own lawn mower and we probably do it a little more than him uh-huh but we don't do a whole lot since it's a rental property we've added a few things like around the patio and i've tried to get a few shrubs to grow around here but since it's you know rental we haven't spent a whole lot of time and effort in trying to do landscaping we just kind of maintain what's here and mow the grass and trim and that kind of stuff when it's needed oh great what kind of lawn do you have you mean the type of grass um yeah what kind of a grass we have oh Saint Augustine yeah it's Bermuda in the back it's the kind that has those you know grows sideways yeah that stuff oh it grows in runners right right i just love that in the middle of the summer when that gets real thick that's so nice to walk on isn't it well the problem has been in the winter of um yeah two winters ago eight nine yeah a lot of it got zapped and it's it's slow coming back like our landlord didn't really replant any last year a lot of front lawn look looks pretty bad yeah yeah yeah and he didn't redo anything so it's it's coming back a little bit now this year well you know you know mine did and it was late at this time last year i held out no hope for it but i watered and fertilized the hell out of it and i by July and August it was as strong and thick as it had ever been oh really and uh and of course this year it never really died out that much i mean this year here it is only April and it's looking good yeah we had we had a mild winter we you know everybody in my neighborhood hires their yard work done and i think i think the fun of owning a house is doing the yard work it was very mild mild winter yeah and i mean i thought so i've owned a house for um twenty five of the of the thirty two years that i've been here in Dallas and i just enjoy it so much and uh and and particularly the lawn i love it dark i love to see it get a deep dark green uh-huh i love to uh i i love to mow it i don't like weeding the flower beds around the house and my son's supposed to do that but pretty every once and a while they get ahead of him so i end up doing that for him and and my wife sometimes takes care of the flowers uh and so between us we got all our own little things to do yeah and we got we got two girls off in college they don't do anything but uh i uh and i love to be out in the summertime i love to be out when the sun is really nice and hot and just go out there and sweat a bit mowing the lawn um i just love it in fact i uh mow my lawn but there's a gigantic vacant field in back of us uh that belongs to Richland College uh-huh and everybody that we have that backs up to it mows about uh oh maybe ten or fifteen or twenty yards into the vacant lot to keep weeds from growing and coming over and seeding in your yard uh-huh so so we all even get more uh get more lawn to mow that way but uh it's fun do you back up to it on the south side or the east side uh i am on the east side of Richland in fact so Richland's on my west side when i look out my back door to see the sun set i look across the Richland field oh oh okay okay and because we had one of our uh a person similar similar stature to uh Gahouli from the legal department Mel Sharp he lives around in that area too he lives on Whiteman Place i think okay i i live on Wharton Drive okay and Wharton intersects uh uh it dead ends into Chimney Hill yeah yeah okay and then it it dead ends just dead ends up here where i live it runs uh it runs north and south from Chimney Hill north okay um uh anyway i love to do that and the other thing that i love is that i am a distance runner by hobby oh and some nights i'll come home from work like i did last night and with rain in the forecast and the lawn was getting pretty high i said i got to mow the lawn but i want to go out and run now which do i do first and i'm sitting around thinking well if i go out and run now because i messed around until almost seven uh six thirty or so if i go out and run now i'm going to get back and i'm going to be mowing the lawn and it's going to get dark and i'm going to have to guess where where the line is to mow so if i mow now then i'll go out and run afterwards and what the mowing does it limbers you up so that you go out and have a good run i finished up right at about dark and then i went out and ran four and a half miles and it was great just because the mowing it i i don't i didn't i don't have to do any stretching before running if i've been pushing the lawn mower around for an hour for an hour and ten minutes or so uh so that's just you know i just i i i just really enjoy it and i hate to here see people gripe and moan about doing uh yard work what about trees do you have any trees around we got a couple of big trees out front um i guess right along our street there used to be one of the um lines i guess there was fields here many many years ago cotton fields or something and uh-huh you bet and i remember that yeah well we have a lot of trees that that go across our front yards that are very old that must have been like where the line was in between the fields so we have couple of huge trees out front that's pretty nice no trees really in the back yeah where the fence was or something yeah yeah how how how long have you live there Maureen almost two years oh do you have children oh okay no not yet we've only been married two years oh okay okay because you've got a a excellent elementary school over there uh our middle daughter went over there one year while ours was being built here and uh Richland Park is just a super neat school oh oh and they got a lot of neat programs the uh uh how often do you when when the when the uh growing season's good how often do you have to mow your lawn uh nearly every week yeah yeah i got i got so carried away with water and fertilizer last year in uh June July and the first part of August i was mowing every four days and i talked to my parents i'm from Massachusetts originally uh-huh and i talked to my parents on the phone i said you know we Texans are a funny breed we we water we water we spend hundreds of dollars a month during the dry part of July August watering our lawn we go out and spend thirty or forty dollars a whack on fertilizer and then we bitch and gripe about having to mow it so often we said because we Massachusetters weren't like that we never did anything to it except mow it and and it always looked nice yeah that's right we never did this watering stuff everybody waters yeah we didn't do all that stuff here but they get more natural rain than we do you know we get so much rain in the spring and then we go sometimes entire June July and August without any so i guess we're where are you from originally yeah uh Philadelphia area oh okay so you've been in Texas how long eight years oh well you're you're almost a Texan i've been here thirty two years that's a long time yeah thirty two years and my wife's a Texan so of course naturally my children but they still think i'm a Yankee uh-huh and i was never called that until i came here yeah isn't that funny i wasn't either i have uh and i i was just taken aback by that yeah when i got here my uh uh best friend who was my office mate when i first got here in nineteen fifty nine said the only Yankees he could ever stand wore pinstripes suits and played baseball but but people weren't as mobile then as they are now i mean i will bet half of your neighborhood or three quarters of it and i know it's true with ours is not from Dallas is not even from Texas well i keep reminding these people that it's good thing we came down here and got some changes made like yeah shopping on Sunday i said it's a little hard to do everything on Saturday no pass no play uh kind of thing i said you know we had that for years in Ohio and Pennsylvania yeah huh yeah uh i yeah that's true that's true we did we did and uh do you all do you all uh do you all have to water a lot over there uh pretty much and our landlord always asks us to uh continue doing that even though we pay for the water because of you know foundation problems around here oh yeah because of the foundation problem you know that's an interesting thing i've had two overseas assignments with TI uh i was in uh Malaysia eighty one eighty two eighty three and eighty four and i was in the Philippines eighty five eighty six and eighty seven and i had two different tenants uh-huh uh-huh and my first one kept the inside of the house nice this is a two story five bedroom and uh uh they only lived in the downstairs because he was divorced and had two children and they only visited him one weekend a month uh-huh um and that was the only time the upstairs was so the upstairs looked as new as we left uh they only lived downstairs uh and and his wife was an interior decorator and the house was just kept very nice you know i've i've heard horror stories from other TIers that have had tenants but he didn't like yard work and what happened was the Saint Augustine grew up you know if you don't watch it and keep it trimmed back it will totally take over your flower beds um oh yeah well when we came back what used to be our flower beds were solid Saint Augustine we had to we had to dig it out and the second tenant when we went to the Philippines the second tenant he had two little girls oh uh-huh and so they lived throughout the entire house he also had a dog in the house that i didn't know about and so our carpeting was in bad shape when i got back but uh my yard was immaculate he did a great job on the yard so you so i guess you can't have everything um but but you're right and i guess that's very important because of this black earth with have here that cracks terribly uh and it shifts badly in the summertime that uh if you don't water around the foundation you're going to lose it yeah and uh and boy i'll tell you you've really got to have a conscientious tenant and it's hard for him to be conscientious when he's thinking of paying a hundred dollar water bill uh every uh uh i you know every month when you get into the June July and August time period yeah and how how big is your duplex um each side has three bedrooms and two baths living room and then a big uh kitchen that has uh dining area in it oh okay they're they're fairly big yeah uh-huh so each side is like seventeen hundred square feet yeah yeah well where uh where did you go to school uh Ohio State oh you went to Ohio State oh you're uh up in the Woody Hays country huh right and i was i was going to school in his prime back when we had Archie Griffin and we were winning all the Heisman trophies and going to Rose Bowl that was when i was going to school there uh yeah yeah yeah yeah we were really excited about the we're why don't you go ahead and start okay my hobby is uh sewing i i've just uh started learning how to sew and uh i've taken some classes and i've made a few few garments do you sew at all i used to uh i i sewed you know in high school and when i went to college i think everything in my closet i had made but i haven't sewed since then and that's been fifteen years did you so uh you know i didn't have access to a machine the whole time i was in college oh and uh my sister sewed and she needed the money so i would pay her and she'd make my clothes oh and uh and then just in the last you know ten or twenty i just haven't sewn anything i would love to i would like to get back to it yeah uh-huh uh clothes are getting so expensive now in in the stores and the the quality is is sometimes so poor that uh it it really is worth while to sew yeah it is you know an even back then i remember you could make something for you know half what it cost to buy and of course the quality was just exceptional right an uh now it's a little more expensive to make it because you you know you start paying the price for the patterns and the material but it's still such better quality that i think it's worth it yeah it certainly is and the patterns have gone up tremendously too the prices for them you used to could get you know a pattern for two or three dollars now they're like you know five six seven eight you're kidding me oh no i'm not see i can remember paying seventy five cents for a pattern huh-uh no the the cheapest ones now are like maybe four uh four or five five dollars um-hum six seven and then you get into the vogues they get up to into twelve and fifteen and on like that good night well do you have kids and a husband are you sewing for a whole family or uh right now i'm just sewing for myself i i do have two daughters that you know out they're they're grown now though i wish that i had started sewing you know when they were younger uh-huh and uh it would have helped me out tremendously but um oh i guess i i just you know i always i have always tried to sew and uh i didn't like the way it looked so i'd never wear anything but now i i really have bought some uh new sewing equipment i bought the Serger machine yeah uh-huh and uh it really makes it look professional and i've taken some classes here in in uh Dallas well and that always is helpful for starters you know you have to have something that kind of gets you on the right track of where you're going yeah right i know a lot of people where i work make their clothes it's just there's just so many people sewing now days that's true well do you do anything else do you knit or crochet like for sweaters or anything like that uh-huh huh-uh no i'm not that talented no see i'm not i've not ever been a real craft type person i have a sister-in-law that i mean if it can be done with your hands she does it she makes things for the kids for Christmas and nephews and nieces and i look at them and i think God you know i i should be able to do things like this right i have a sister that can can uh crochet real well or or knit i i guess i mean knit and she knits things like hats and uh sweaters an you know yeah yeah well when my sister oh when my sister had her first uh child my niece and this is we're talking fifteen years ago i was it was my last year of college bed throws uh-huh uh-huh and i asked my roommate if she would teach me how to crochet granny squares so she did and i crocheted a blanket for my sister's baby oh and i started crocheting a king size bedspread for a guy that i was dating at the time uh-huh and when we broke things off actually we were supposed to get married when i got out of college so when we broke things off i quit crocheting it and i've never picked up a needle since then in fact i think it's still sitting in the top of the closet oh my goodness one of these days i keep thinking i'm going to finish it because it would make a really pretty bedspread but yeah now now they have the uh knitting machines that will do it for you fast um-hum my problem i guess is time you know i i talk to my husband we kind of planning for the time eventually when you know maybe i can quit work while my kids because i my kids are young i have a three and a half and a two year old uh-huh um and he says but Bev i think you'll be so bored because you know all you've ever done is work and i said but there's so many things i want to do i'd like to start sewing again i'd like to learn how to do this cross stitch and these you know knit these things and i think that would be fascinating he kind of laughs yeah are you familiar with what a Serger is uh the Serger sewing machine i don't think so well you know in when we used to sew we'd sew the seam and then we'd finish the edges and we we would uh trim the seams and finish the edges sure uh-huh well this machine does it all in one step it's you're kidding so like as you're sewing the seam it's finishing off the inside edge right and it's cutting off the uh the there there are two knives and it cuts off the uh you know excess seam allowance well that takes all the work out of it right and uh it it really makes it look professional well how neat especially on you know i mean from the inside you know how you look under under something that you've made and it doesn't really uh-huh but uh the Serger really makes it look professional well that's neat they're pretty expensive i like i paid like about eight hundred dollars for mine for the machine yeah uh-huh so since i bought it and paid that much for it i guess i'd better might as well get some use out of it yes i'm going to have to do it you have to learn how to do it that's right otherwise they hold it over your head forever right right now i bought you that machine well that sounds really good ah yeah do you paint or anything like that no no i i play the piano never oh so do i oh you do except well i have one here it's the one that i grew up with and my folks gave it to me and uh a couple years ago when they uh they sail and so they sold their home and they they've been sailing and uh uh-huh so it's here but i haven't touched one like since college so i kind of am picking it all out again and trying to remember how to do it again and of course my kids jump in the middle of it and want to pound on it and i'd love to teach them to play too uh-huh yeah so i'm not great but i remember it uh-huh well i'm not that great either i used to be a lot better than i am now i i have played for uh the church choir and uh yeah i played for the choral club in high school and but i you know i don't practice a lot anymore and uh you know you get rusty you do you really you do i never thought i would get rusty but i'm rusty now well i i figure it takes practice and i i don't i say i don't have the time that's not true by the time i put my kids in bed at night i don't want to do anything uh-huh yeah i you know i've worked all day and i come home and i do that i and you know even hobbies and crafts and sewing things like that i i think gee i could do this or that i have an hour here i don't want to do them sometimes i'm too tired right uh-huh yeah right so i try to save that for the weekend i need to get better at it though uh-huh well sewing does take up take an awful lot of time takes an awful lot of time now the part about sewing that i never liked was laying out the material and the pattern and cutting it out if if somebody would lay it out for me then i didn't mind cutting it out and sewing it i could do that all day long and i i can remember once in high school i wanted some extra money yeah and my mom wanted some pants so she laid out the material and i cut it and sewed it and she paid me i think like two dollars a pair to make her some pants yeah but i i hate laying out material and trying to get the most out of the material and make sure it's on the right lines and not on the bias and yeah on the on the right on the straight grain and all that stuff uh-huh yes on the grain of the fabric it drives me crazy yeah that that's that's the part that i don't like too yeah yeah i i like sewing sewing up the garment itself i really like to do that but the the cutting and the all the even the cutting i don't like well what are some of the other features on this machine it sounds wonderful well that's about it really it's it has four uh four threads instead of the the regular basic two threads oh okay and uh it's is that for designs or is that for the regular seam in the fabric or no you you can either use three or four of the threads oh okay uh it's kind of it the stitch is kind of like a knitting machine like the they're loopers under the bottom and then the there's a seam stitch and it's the loopers that form the the edge you know that edge finish uh-huh and uh that's what really makes it look professional you can do a lot with the Serger though you can make uh piping and cording and uh you can use all kinds of different uh textures of thread so it has the ability to do just about any type of sewing you want to do and well yes but you you have to use it in combination with a sewing machine you can't throw your sewing machine away you you you need it to do things like button holes and uh uh-huh seams that need to be really strong need to be done on the sewing machine so the Serger is not a sewing machine itself it's something that goes with it it's uh like an attachment or no it's it's a it's a it's a machine it's not exactly a sewing machine but it does it does sew the seam and trim the edges and all that stuff but there are other are other things that a regular sewing machine does that it doesn't do like you can't top stitch with it oh okay you know you can't do top stitching or um there's there's a few few things that you just can't do with it it will also do a rolled edge um uh-huh gee it's just so versatile like i remember well i'm going to have to go check it out that's just something i hadn't heard of but it okay do you want to go first you can go first or i will well you go ahead okay well i'm going to tell you what i'd have down in the South we have a lot of shrimp oh yeah okay and i have uh shrimp that is steamed in beer that i cook oh yeah uh-huh and then i have a cauliflower that i would cook garlic bread green salad tea and we'd have a lemon pie for dessert oh it sounds fantastic yes and what's really neat about it is the shrimp is cooked in your uh like your rice steamer your rice cooker oh yeah uh-huh and um you place the shrimp in the in the rice steamer and you put a bay leaf and put some uh red pepper over it uh-huh now you can either use you know the kind that comes in the little can or you can just get some you know regular red peppers is it cayenne pepper you mean cayenne uh-huh yes uh-huh and you put a little bit of that over it now if you use the dried kind yes then you would only use two of them and you put that in there and then you pour two bottles of beer over it and how much shrimp would you use two pounds two pounds okay that's the jumbo shrimp in the shells leave the shells on them so they won't just roll up oh yeah uh-huh and you pour the beer over the top of it and you cover it and you only cook it until the mixture begins to boil uh-huh okay and the shrimp turn pink then you remove it and you put it on a platter and then you serve it with melted butter and uh uh-huh i usually put garlic powder in mine oh yeah and they can just dip it and they shell it as they eat it sure but uh then the microwave uh the cauliflower you cook that in the microwave and what you do is you just uh wash it and you core it uh-huh uh-huh and in a like a oh what do you call it like Pyrex or something like that kind of bowl that would go in the microwave uh-huh a glass dish uh-huh uh-huh but it's got to have one that has a cover on it okay uh-huh and you uh put about two tablespoons of uh water into this bowl and about an eighth a teaspoon of salt yeah uh-huh and then you just set your cauliflower in there and then you cook it for seven minutes on high and you rotate it one time and it's are you cooking the whole head at one time okay uh-huh you uh when you core it you be real careful so you won't knock your flowers off i see and uh you just set it in there and you microwave it on high for seven minutes and you turn it one time and while that's cooking i take mayonnaise about a cup of mayonnaise uh-huh and a teaspoon of mustard and some garlic powder and i mix it all together and i shred up some just regular white cheese uh-huh and after that's cooked you take it out and pour this on top of it and then you sprinkle the cheese on top of that and you cook it for another three minutes on high uh-huh you know just mainly to melt the cheese and everything and let all the seasoning melt into it and it's done yeah oh that sounds fantastic it is good but it it looks i mean what you can do then see is like what i usually do is i'll like sit the cauliflower in the middle and then i put the uh shrimp around the outside of it you know on my platter um um uh-huh and then i have a green salad that i put around the outside of that and you know you have all the different seasonings and stuff and then i just fix little individual cups for them and they have the garlic bread and it makes it a real nice looking sure and it's not much work you know huh-uh huh-uh but it looks like it you know you look like you went to a whole bunch that sounds yeah really i bet it tastes good too right and uh usually i cut those little cherry tomatoes up and put some color into it you know and i'll lay those on top of my salad you know to make it look nice and things like that oh yeah sure now how many could you serve okay uh it usually serves six yeah okay okay i figured about that yeah oh that's good see out here we have so many uh ethnic people we have Italians and we have Portuguese and we have Russians and Polish and it depends out here like the type of people you're going to entertain you know so it's hard uh you you just have to pick something for the the group that you're going to entertain for that particular time uh-huh yeah and uh they're big on finger food here too you know chicken wings and uh ribs and that kind of stuff uh barbecue yeah and uh cooking out in the yard it yard you know when it's nice barbecue outside chicken and that kind of stuff yeah have you ever had crawfish uh no but i have had shrimp oh you ought to try some crawfish they are good but see that's one good thing about living down here is usually anybody that comes over you know even if it's like out of town guests and stuff they want our cooking oh of course that's you know they want it from down here yeah because just like now especially crawfish it is starting to move out you know and more and more people are beginning to find out how good it is really is it like shrimp but uh it's similar uh-huh it's similar yeah it's not exactly i mean it's got a taste of its own you know but it is it is similar to because you only eat the tails of it oh it does does it look like a lobster um it looks more like a crab oh it looks more like a crab oh uh-huh but are they thin long no or wide um let me think of i can't even think of what you i guess if it uh it looks like more like a cross between uh a crab and uh and a lobster because it's small like that and it's got the pinchers like a crab but uh-huh uh-huh but you know it's it's similar to a lobster too because the tail has got the little pleats in it like a lobster would oh yeah yep and we call them mud bugs oh but i mean they're fantastic tasting they are so good everybody it's it's the season for them right now and and where did you say you were from Louisiana Louisiana oh well do you do cajun cooking uh-huh oh yeah oh i love uh blackened you know uh the the fish and the chicken and that kind of stuff oh we have a few places up here that do that uh-huh yeah and if ever i see it on the menu i always get it yes it is so good yeah you know now how do they do the blackened you buy it you buy it as a seasoning but uh do you have to have a certain skillet or something huh-uh huh-uh i cook mine well do you have a uh like a black iron skillet no i did have i don't have it now but i have mostly Teflon oh okay well i guess you could cook it in in that too but i don't know you know i never have i use uh uh the black iron skillet to cook mine you now but uh does does it have to get extremely hot uh-huh but it really it's not it it it doesn't burn or anything like that the blackening is really the seasoning yeah uh-huh oh oh i see i mean there is it's it's a blackening seasoning yeah you know i mean that is a seasoning that's really it's not like you would have to cook it for an extreme amount of time or something like that to get it oh i see because it's called uh what it's called is Blackening Magic and it it comes in a bottle and uh oh well i'm trying to see it's got a a picture of Dom De Luise on it oh oh really uh-huh oh now would you would cook it for the same amount of time as you would prepare it any other time is that what you're saying right uh-huh oh uh-huh but because i could have the uh chicken on the skewers with uh uh blackened seasoning uh-huh and oh that is so good delicious yeah but you do have to have it you know you do have to have it hot when you cook it i mean your pan it does have to be really hot you know when you put it in but it's not like it's burned and it what it what blackens it is the seasoning uh-huh oh and it is so good oh it is i i love it i i in fact i was in Texas for a little while and i liked uh the barbecues and the Mexican food yeah uh-huh uh-huh i have a passion for all that type of different tastes because i have been brought up mostly Italian American food because my uh parents are Italian and Portuguese so we cook a lot of pasta and uh gravies and pizzas and you know roasts and that kind of thing that's why i enjoy going to restaurants and have you know trying different things uh-huh well have you ever thought about coming to Louisiana you know to visit i would love to yeah you ought to come down um you don't even have to go all the way to New Orleans you know if you want to really get some good food i really i mean you don't have to go that far south uh-huh but uh of course the further south you go the better the food is as far as i'm concerned and fact is we're going to take a vacation this year we're going to go to New Orleans again and uh is that right uh-huh we're only going down there for the food though now where where do you go when you go there uh right on Basin Street and those places uh yeah we go to the the French Quarters and stuff like that and uh i have some friends that live down there uh-huh and so usually we go to we don't go to the tourist ones we go to the ones that they tell us to go to you know oh oh i see and we went to this one it was called The Back Porch and uh they were cooking the stuff you know while we were we went on this boat ride and then we came back and ate out on this it was like a back porch oh that's nice and uh usually if you can find somebody of course now when you go down there you know i mean they've got just there's no where you can miss uh-huh i have never gone to a restaurant and not just been so full it's unreal and uh i mean it's so good the seasoning they it's just unreal really and don't they make a lot of um i'm trying to think what they call their soup i don't know gumbo yeah jumbo gumbo right is is is that with seafood no gumbo uh-huh right uh-huh you can even make it with chicken or you can make it with seafood oh you can uh-huh that looks good too i've seen them do the chefs on TV do that and oh it looks delicious uh-huh and i'll tell you what see we do um uh a thing we call it a sea bake you uh you take clams well this is going to be very boring boring because i don't hi you don't at all no and uh unfortunately it shows i uh i'm supposed to i'm way overweight but uh i've had a problem with uh high blood pressure which of course is directly connected to it and my doctor's trying to get my blood pressure under control um-hum before i start in any exercising or too much of it yeah yeah you need so anyway i did join the uh uh the Texans up at uh oh uh-huh uh Springcreek um-hum and i've been up there a few times but didn't accomplish too much because i just run down too quick yeah i haven't been up there um but i understand they've got a nice pool and that's my favorite form of exercise is swimming uh that would have to be mine i hate exercising it's so boring really uh i would much prefer to like walk through the woods oh yeah most of my my forms of exercise come in the form of a five year old and a two year old uh-huh and uh running after them or going biking with them or just exploring you know on a little exploration exploration hike you know through the neighborhood it's amazing you know how many earthworms you can find and and to a five year old they're they never get old you know an earthworm every single time she finds one it's uh it's a brand new exciting activity for her isn't it amazing um-hum it really is well we um back when my my i have four sons they're all grown now and and two of them are married with children of their own but when they were just uh pre teenagers we um um-hum we decided the only way we could afford vacations is to go camping oh yeah isn't it great and we thoroughly enjoyed it i mean we went whole hog we had the tents and everything else and and pretty much roughed it sleeping on the ground and all um-hum and uh i like to think that my children my sons learned a lot about uh the outdoors uh uh uh being self-sustaining um-hum uh uh i would have no doubt what so ever that any one of them could be dropped in the middle of no where and they'd they'd exist exist somehow well that's neat my uh my husband was uh was a boy scout and he uh actually went very far in the boy scouts and he was in The Order of the Arrow and he absolutely um you know the earth is is part of him and he is part of it and i think that's a real important thing and we we enjoy going camping we haven't yet had them sleeping on the ground primarily because to them uh or to the five year old the two year old would freak out about it but she wouldn't quite get totally unnerved but the five year old still has a fear of spiders uh-huh and i'm afraid that if she woke up one with her we would have to pack up and come home so we've primarily done our camping by cabin up at Turner Falls up in Oklahoma oh wow well okay that is understandable oh yes i'm very familiar with it very beautiful place isn't that a beautiful place i've been up there several times well it was up there actually that she got her fear of spiders because we sat and watched a tarantula for a long time we we you know we'd never seen one oh what a shame or she had never seen one we my husband and i had but she we'd never seen one as a family and so we just sat and watched it for the longest time it was you know removed from us by probably five or six feet so we weren't concerned about it and we just sat and watched it and we explained you know how it did well that night she had a nightmare and she has been terrified of spiders since but we still go up there and we still have a great time well good i'm glad to hear that about the only thing uh i might suggest is uh do the same thing again introduce her to a to a spider at a reasonable distance where she isn't frightened um-hum and uh and that that that the the nightmare i'm sure was just a a freak i'll bet it wouldn't happen again i think not yeah i think it was you know being in a new place being kind of out of out of sorts and everything all combined but sure we uh that's you you know that's our favorite form of exercise is is life and we do our own yard you know we uh we we enjoy the activities that provide exercise both of us would love to exercise on a routine basis but our life doesn't um really have that much time in it so we just enjoy what we can along with our family you know well that you couldn't pick a better way of doing it with your family well yeah we have a and and you're you're certainly all getting an education while you're doing this exercise that's kind of how we feel about it we can't you know there's there's there's things that uh the only thing that is forever is the earth well we hope it's forever yeah and uh and you know therefore as far as we're concerned it you know the girls can learn things in school about everything that is temporary but as far as really knowing the earth there's no other way to really learn it but to experience it um-hum and we really have a great time with it i'm sure that's the way that you felt with your boys oh definitely definitely it was a learning experience uh now we i guess we camped just about every public campground in the state of Florida oh and Florida's absolutely wonderful for that i understand i've i've never lived there oh yes yes yell they used to be but now they're trying to really put it to the the the uh visitors i think they're doing a very stupid thing oh with Walt Disney World and well they charge extra now they there was a time here a few years ago when they put an extra tax on all the campgrounds and the uh motels and hotels um so they are are uh you know really putting it to the visitors and people got a little fed up with it and they suddenly and suddenly the the foundling fathers of uh of Florida found out that they were losing beaucoup bucks people were going elsewhere for uh their vacations by night they were trying to turn it too much into a business exactly so they got rid of that tax in a hurry oh that's good we've uh not been brave enough yet to brave that trip with these with the two small children i mean you know in the car uh yeah i can appreciate that it's it's uh it's you know getting up to Turner Falls or uh up to Lake Murray is about as far as we've really tried to go in a car we have gone down and uh uh gone down to the New Braunfels uh San well we were headed down to Sea World in San Antonio um-hum and uh we stopped along the way and enjoyed ourselves along the way but um you know that's that's pretty much as far as we've tried with little ones well the the trick is to stop frequently and let the kids get out and run um-hum now uh i'm alone now myself and and i i have graduated from sleeping on the ground to uh going in a motor home oh um-hum well the fact i live in it and there's just my dog and i now my dog is a wonderful traveler but i do have to stop for her quite frequently um-hum and it works out fine i mean i stop i'm never in a hurry to get anywhere and no reason to be like it takes me two days to get to Memphis and that's that's not terribly far no it's uh it's about an eight or nine hour drive really yeah yeah but uh i make it in two days because i i don't push it well there's so many neat places along the way i mean you've got Arkansas you know and oh definitely oh absolutely incidentally oh i can't remember the name of that place there's a beautiful park up there and they do have a uh uh oh sort of a hotel a lodge a lodge that's what it is um-hum um-hum and it's just off the interstate and the kids would love it because they have playgrounds for the children and all and they have uh several nature trails it's just off the interstate that goes through Hot Springs uh it's just below Hot Springs um okay oh well that wouldn't even be a very far drive it's lake something i'm not i i ought to look into it uh because we were kind of entertaining entertaining the thought of taking a uh you know like just a five or six day trip in the not too distant future to kind of kick off the summer um-hum and i well the next time you go across the state line or when you come back in be sure and stop at one of the Texas uh-huh welcome bureaus um-hum and ask them for their literature on the the uh state national parks in the state of Texas um-hum and you'll you'll get a collection from them the you wouldn't believe there were so many parks in the state i probably wouldn't and i've lived here all of my life well it it there there are so many for instance have you ever been out to Tyler State Park oh yes i have i have been to Tyler that was one place we went when i was a child all all right you we've not taken our children though there's a place to take them and uh oh good heavens up there just this side of Texoma Texoma not Texoma uh Texarkana uh-huh Texarkana uh-huh there are three or four state parks up there we ought to head out we uh and they're all great and and again there's the nature trails um-hum ah for your exercising right we almost forgot our subject of the day there but be sure and stop at one of those Texas bureaus tourist bureaus and get their literature yeah yeah well i certainly will Jack it's been real it's been real uh informative for me to talk with you and i i certainly enjoyed it well it's been my pleasure uh Gina Gina is that with a G okay uh-huh it sure is that's that's uh uh Italian heritage isn't it i don't have any Italian heritage my my mother actually chose it because of Gina okay what i was doing at at home in fact i work at nights here so that's another long story we'll talk about it's funny that i got you though yeah it is uh i asked my wife to hand me the other phone because i was just i was busy and uh i had just gotten a call and i couldn't answer it and i said well i'll punch it on this one uh-huh and uh it's a walk around phone but it's not a uh it's not the other kind you know yeah that's what mine is uh-huh so it didn't work now i've got a portable cordless is that what you're using okay no i'm using a regular phone now uh okay i got a i i'm using a cordless if if it's a what kind of phone do they talk it's not a dial but if it's a touchtone it's okay yeah right i realized that once i used i should have i was going to go in the kitchen and and punch one on the touchtone uh-huh and i realized that i had screwed it up so it was my fault okay that's funny that we had gotten it yeah it is uh i guess they want us to talk about dogs but dogs or cats dogs and cats that your cat your Rex i'll switch over to birds you know we we don't really have birds as pets but we sure because we have cats uh-huh we always wind up with i haven't yet uh a bird or two in the Summer because the cat will catch one and usually we'll catch the cat because the cat doesn't seem to kill the bird right away oh really uh-huh we wound up with a lot of birds over the years and oh there are organizations we drop ours off at Fort Worth if they're still alive and you keep it alive which is hard to do for a couple of weeks uh-huh if you take it to an agency they'll send it back in the wild somehow and so we we wound up because of our cats with with many birds over the years uh again they're not pets exactly but uh oh oh this guy at work that i work with uh raises birds uh he has a a macaw macaw macaw yeah and parakeets and something else he one of those macaw parrots the lady next door across from across the street from us just lost is it a cockatoo what's that one that's white yeah a cockatoo i think it's a cockatoo it got loose and i've forgotten what how she did it and she had it in a cage of some sort did it really and what they were doing i don't know but it flew away you know and they called it and everything and rode drove around the neighborhood looking for it but uh um-hum those are expensive yeah it's free yeah i'm surprised that a bird uh i guess they can find their way back but i wonder exactly where a tame bird would go did she ever get it back no no she never got it back i've heard stories like this before with parrots and all this uh because people let them out out in their house you know and fly around oh that's uh-huh yeah my daughter had one i wouldn't have one flying around my house and no i know uh but uh i've forgotten she had it outside somehow and somehow they they mixed signals or something and uh it got loose of course again again the animals are so much faster than we are in one way or the other yeah boy that's a shame uh you know i was telling you the story about fencing i do like dogs i i would i've always had dogs my whole life as a kid uh-huh um-hum uh don't you miss them now i mean well yeah i do i because they're they have such personalities yeah i do i think that all the animals have personality i'm not the cat person i my sister had cats when we were little um-hum we always seem to have a cat and a dog together which again when you bring them up i do notice that yeah they get along right and my wife was the cat lover and when when we started out as a young young married couple we just had an apartment so you it's kind of easier to have a cat yeah right right and then she just never wanted a dog and then we got here to Texas uh she's from Texas again and uh she she had this thing with the fence and i i guess i have so many interests i don't really quite have the time with with two daughters and everything uh-huh yeah right and all the activities to personally train a dog but i would i would i guess i'll have to wait until both of my kids are out of college before i get another dog again i guess i'm yeah right right i i i certainly saw your point with the Greyhound that there's there is a limit yeah uh to a pet um yeah you know you think you're you think that's what you want and i really gave it a good try um-hum and i had her spoiled i mean she was spoiled rotten but she was so and i have a new house and i and to walk in my house i'd have especially uh especially on a rainy day i'd have to take a bucket of water out there and wash all four of her feet this is a fifty pound dog i'm going to pick up a leg at a time and wash and set it down on something clean while i got the other three you know and and then i'd let her in the house well still even putting her feet in the bucket of water and wash them real good she still would come in so fast and so heavy that she'd dig her paws deep down into my carpet you know and just take out running to and she would yeah oh she was ruining my carpet and i thought gosh i i love my new house more than i love her i think you know i just really have a big investment and i don't i just it was just more work than it was really really i wasn't enjoying her that's what it was maybe if i'd a had a run for a dog run but i think that's cruel to put a dog in a run yeah yeah no i think so too uh my wife just she keeps convincing me because my my parents uh my parents are dead now but my parents and my brothers and sisters always had dogs uh-huh and when we would visit them she said you can smell dog over the house i said well you're really right yeah and so i never she always had a good argument why not to get a dog and we haven't since we've been married yeah but now see i have always felt that i could always smell cats cats to me always i i i used to have some friends' house that i couldn't stand to go in their house i could smell their their litter box i thought oh my God i couldn't stand it and i don't know how they stood it i guess they didn't smell it yeah oh yeah yeah uh no yeah i think you're right uh people are surprisingly are allergic to cats too we do have some friends on and off that will oh do you i guess it's the hair the cat the short fur on the cat is uh one of the allergic reaction things like uh uh-huh cedar trees and all of the other stuff i guess the cat has a real fine not the that the real short hair dandruff or whatever they have that people do get allergic to cats uh yeah uh-huh yeah in their eyes you know they just walk in the house even though we lock up the cats and they're crying yeah that's right and so some people unfortunately of course i wouldn't have an animal if i was allergic to it either well i wouldn't either uh my wife at one time said she was allergic to them uh uh-huh i was going to say a story well i know is there're supposed to be is it Chihuahuas they're supposed to be good for asthma they say Chihuahua dogs are supposed to be good for people with asthma i always heard well i think the animal's good for you just because uh it gets you out and everything i uh oh yeah and don't i think they're using you know they're using animals in old folks home now and make and some hospitals because it's supposed to make people oh yeah brings your blood pressure down you know dogs are always so happy to see you come home you know they always are just wagging i don't care how grumpy you are or what dogs are glad to see you oh yeah cats are kind of independent like get in they're they let you live with them you know so independent right i have some friends uh uh that have horses you know uh-huh and when my daughters were a little younger you know i thought well maybe that's a good maybe i'll get them uh you know this is Texas and i'll get them a horse uh-huh well we went over and we rode their horses and everything but and and just listened to the stories and the money the horse was sick all the time oh you i don't know if you if you have any friends with horses but they get all kinds of eating disorders if they don't if they don't eat the right grain or if you oh see i was thinking about buying a horse maybe i don't want if you give him an orange or something you nearly kill it i mean it the the stories he would tell it must have cost him a couple hundred dollars a month uh-huh just to feed of course he had several horses for shots and different things i thought my God and i just saw something interesting Consumer Reports they talked they had a animals and they compared oh uh-huh you know whether you should have a bird and and the pricing and it had a comment around a horse something to the effect of you don't even want to know what it cost to keep a horse you know and i cost yeah i think i'll just go rent a horse if i want to ride one right i think the best thing in the world is to rent them i think that uh yeah i do too that that and boats are probably the same way i'd love to have a boat too but i think uh i'm not too sure i i would get that much use out of it you know yeah no i mean well i do enjoy my dog uh she's such a oh she's my best friend and when when i lived in Orlando she uh got paralyzed from her waist down and uh waist my goodness from what and i thought it was uh uh we almost had to put her to sleep and i just cried for two days but i think what i i i ironically what happened was she got had fleas and i think it was the stuff i was having putting on her that that paralyzed her but my goodness the fleas i think's what brought her back is she had to scratch so bad that she started using her paralyzed the the doctor was just amazed at a that she came back because yeah he really was going to was going to do surgery for fifteen hundred dollars or put her to sleep and i was going to have to opt to have to put her to sleep even as much much as i loved her i wasn't going to spend fifteen hundred dollars on an experiment oh yeah yeah plus i'm not too sure yeah i think they are experiments too and they don't know that much uh no but it was just uh that spot that they put on the back of a dog uh they used to use it on cattle and uh so i started using it on her and i'd take to her to the vet once a month and get that spot put on her my sister spent a lot of go ahead and she wouldn't have any fleas never had any fleas hadn't never any then all of a sudden uh i took her huh i was living in Orlando and i put i put her in the vet for while i came home to Dallas for a while and i took and when i picked her up she had fleas again and so my daughter came down and visited me me from Dallas and and while she was there the dog got paralyzed hm and so i took her back up to the doctor and anyway he he said it wasn't that but another doctor told me that there had been uh people the pet owners had been getting permanently paralyzed from petting the dogs that had that spot on them my goodness so i thought well and so i can't find a vet that'll do that for me anymore put the spot on her anymore and i don't want it anymore anyway yeah but i do fight fleas oh gosh oh yeah they're they're a problem the the different rainy seasons here i don't how long you been here in in the area yeah oh i moved back in eighty eight the December of eighty eight oh course you were here before yeah i lived here before i'd worked for TI for seventeen years and then i moved to Orlando uh with Mark and Marietta yeah okay and let let me talk about fleas we have nothing compared to fleas down they have down there oh really and they have them year round at least they die out kind of in the wintertime here in the yard down there they don't they're are just and they are big suckers i mean big yeah oh really and they are just almost impossible to get rid of it costs a fortune if you have a pet you're going to have fleas down there oh oh yeah and i just had my house treated and treated and treated and treated and did i did all the things you're supposed to and i couldn't get rid of okay he did where'd he decide to go um to Williams College in Massachusetts uh-huh sure i'm familiar with it and that he was he was uh trying to decide between University of Pennsylvania and Williams and it was a very difficult choice and uh and he well he must know is he interested in law or medicine he must have a definite profession in mind no but that's one of the reasons why he chose Williams that it has solid liberal arts oh okay medium size aren't they about two thousand is he excited very excited yes uh i have another son who's at their chief rival Amherst College wow i can i uh-huh while they're east coast i mean i don't know anything about their football but there you go well they're they're they're really very strong academic rather than you know big sports yeah that's where where you at we're outside of uh Washington in Maryland how about you oh okay i'm in uh suburban Dallas uh-huh do you have children in no i don't i have a husband we don't have any kids yet about all i can say is i guess about picking schools um i guess uh if you don't know what you're going to do liberal arts program is a good idea okay um well i i one of the the advises we've given our children is that you can always learn a job this is true uh but what you can't learn uh on a job is a good solid well rounded well rounded education right the humanities the history yeah that's right you know the Renaissance man and uh and if you get that you can and if you do well you can you can learn a job right right no no no yeah but they you know if they learn the job and they can go into graduate school usually a company it will if it's worth it's weight will subsidize and that's exactly right that's right so the advice we gave to them was number one visit the colleges that you're thinking about describe first of all uh-huh this this is true yeah the size school that you might be interested in and if you want to go away right do you want to go away how far from home do you want to be right what do you want in a college now my son is a national level competitive swimmer good so he wanted to swim in school but he did not want to be in a swim factory okay so he wouldn't have gone to something like where we're at they'd in Austin Texas University of Texas that's right that's the University of Texas at Austin or Stanford or something like that so he didn't even consider those right Texas Aquatics yeah okay well that's i think the other thing is too um i know i went to a uh city high school in Chicago and a lot of the kids weren't as fortunate as say my brother and i were and economics was the choice um uh-huh uh-huh sounds like your son has academically the standing to get into that type of school he is very very strong academically yeah so we've just but you know he had to look to see what kind of environment he liked and yet he he did wind up having to make a choice he did apply to a large you know large group uh-huh yeah University of Penn i'm originally from Pennsylvania Pennsylvania University of Pennsylvania it's got about nine thousand undergraduate yeah that's strong i mean that's you know and it's it's well it's a little bit i don't want to use the word wilder that's not the word i want um more diverse yeah yeah yeah uh yes and it but it does have the under you know that's total undergraduate with five hundred graduate school so that the uh the college of arts and sciences is you know i guess about four thousand at Williams or Pennsylvania at Williams at Pennsylvania well how large is Williams at Pennsylvania Williams is an undergraduate school only um and it's a total of two thousand right well that's not bad yeah so he knew the feeling because my other son is at Amherst which is fifteen hundred and he had visited his brother at Amherst and knew that he liked the environment but he did go on college visits and he liked which is a lot uh-huh that's the thing to do i mean i not having any children my husband was an Ohio State person and uh that has something like either the first or second largest um-hum student population like fifty thousand combined community yes yes it's large and they both boys had decided no that they did not want that yeah that is too much and i mean i um i can only say it's strange your son picked those kinds of college because i spent a year at Bennington in Vermont um and that was this was twenty years ago showing my age oh it's so you uh-huh and did you ever eat at the Blue Bin Diner yes oh my God where are you from well let's not talk about that okay no but we've been there when i'm up at Williams we've gone up there it's um in that area i mean i just can't say enough about it oh it's it whatever we went and he was you know impressed by the clean air and he he met the students at both schools and he liked them well you know um my husband's an engineer and a strong liberal a strong liberal arts background with uh a graduate degree in a technical field will get him much further than say like a a strong um business administration degree than with another MBA on top of it uh-huh that's okay that's it the thing is if if a person really knows very early on that they want to go in a technical field than you're not then it's probably good to go to you know to apply to a school with a strong technical program uh-huh and they usually yeah but they usually don't but uh for if you're going into if you know engineering is the thing if then you've got to at least take engineering right but they no but who does i mean i think i think all i think the majority of people just don't know no he looked at criteria such as location size of school yeah that's right uh-huh no he didn't apply to any school further the furthest away was Bowdoin in Maine which is about twelve hours that's still pretty far though i mean a lot of kids just don't even want to go yeah that was the furthest and then Kenyon in Ohio which was about six and a half hours and Williams is about seven oh that's not too bad yeah so well i mean he so it wasn't he you know then the University of Pennsylvania is like two hours from here by train and then Bucknell in mid state Pennsylvania yeah he will enjoy Williams i think and is a good academic yeah and he knew and if it came down i mean as he came he's been talking to them and and he came down and one of the things that he said is he went to Pennsylvania this weekend and he had an absolutely marvelous time he had a great time uh-huh but then he said you know it was such a good time that i almost got the feeling that their emphasis is on having fun that could very well be i mean and he said it almost backfired i think it backfired so he's developing his his uh internal instincts right now that's good because i mean i'm sure what he said was true that uh you well actually that's one of the reasons i went to uh Kenyon he went he made a good choice i went i so i well swear w e're not supposed to but i spent a year in Vermont my freshman year it was just too far away it was too different uh the level of income of lot of the students and their attitudes was just um beyond my um-hum yeah well um in terms of drugs et cetera which i thought was shocking of course that period too was probably difficult to for you but i did uh my advice to him and my husband's was that right yeah you're right but then i went yeah he had to really decide what he wanted out of college he had to look at himself uh in a larger school he had to realize that if he was going to screw around it he could probably slip and it wouldn't be caught up until it was too late where in a smaller school where especially in a Kenyon or a Williams where you see the professors around town all the time you skip class in the morning and they see you uh-huh and you're going to get a little bit more input than discipline yeah that's yeah yeah and a swim coach is going to be right on top of you uh so that and he will know the professors in a small well i don't know how to put this either in this way and then it doesn't sound like your sons would need this but i just think the other thing is with the way a lot of the youth is today i think the refinement that they get i don't mean specifically etiquette or culture but just what you're saying just a solid background uh-huh yeah yeah because i just don't think at that age i just don't think that young people know what they want to do that's right that's right and um and it's just the personal contact where if you need help you know and um that's right he has i told him to look to yourself are you the kind of person that will go into a large college and if the professor says i've got office hours but you really don't feel that you know him because you're in a class of a hundred that you're really going to look him up but if it's a class of fifteen right right lecture yeah this is very very and you need help you know that it's much easier to do it and especially in the large schools they have lectures oh and even though they may break it up into smaller groups uh Penn is known for having they have video lectures yeah video lectures graduate assistants teaching they have graduate assistants to teach the smaller groups this is true and i mean that is very ironic too that your son just made the did he just make the decision today just a he made the decision uh i'd say about uh an hour and a half ago how funny yeah i mean that's so funny i mean and and in fact he had just an hour before that two uh recent graduates from Kenyon spent close to two hours talking with him well he'll that's funny and uh i mean and he they were really nice and but he said is that they didn't tell him anything that he didn't know but they helped confirm his decision that a smaller school was better it was easy for him to rule out he knew what he didn't want that's exactly yeah now is your other i mean we're talking about what you think but obviously you're experiencing it uh did your other son um yeah yeah right now yeah my other son is just as happy as a bed bug he the moment he knew he he decided early on that Amherst was the school he's a classical guitarist a clam oh wonderful and he decided he also got into the Yale graduate school of music as an undergraduate for classical guitar but he decided he was going to go to the um uh-huh the smaller and the the smaller now and then graduate school later and they'll do fine in their studies and i'm sure they'll go on to graduate school and well he's really my older boy's real happy and he's minoring in English and he had thought about economics and he took a couple of courses in economics and decided that wasn't and now he's a senior he's a senior or is this early admissions he'll be he's finishing his sophomore year so he's double majoring so he's so he's yeah well sounds like you have two talented sons well you know see the advice we give is to not limit yourself especially this you know go to a school where you're not forced to make too many irrevocable decisions your first year or two i think and a lot of people talk about and it's not the economics i'm solely zeroed in on but i think a lot of people think a lot of people think about the tuition level and what exactly are you getting in return yeah and i think that a lot of people shy away from the smaller colleges colleges because of that and i think it's rather sad well one of the things we said is that they should pick the college this was our advice too irrespective of the cost that somehow we would manage you are wonderful parents well we place a real high priority on education in our family no and i agree i mean my husband and i in fact i'm taking my LSATs um i'm thirty something and taking my LSATs on June tenth oh good that's wonderful oh that's great um the point being and your sons will learn this from you i'm sure that uh no matter what age you are you can learn that's right that's exactly and it sounds like they're going to you know they're just well um i'm uh pretty pro gun control over all i um have had a lot of arguments with people about the issue of gun control and uh i must say that there are a couple of arguments against uh strong gun control which i find very compelling although most of the people who argue gun control with me i find um use sort of canned arguments you know sort of the NRA slogan arguments and um uh so i've been very frustrated when i do debate with people about it um i guess on a one a scale of one of ten i'm probably around a two in terms of fair restricting guns and i have to admit most of that is uh strong personal distaste i don't like the idea of people being able to kill me with very very little effort um and uh guns are very symbolic of them having that power over me well me being from Texas um-hum i hope you're ready for this um i'll i'll give it a try i've got my Texan stereotypes in place well i'm not your stereotypical Texan i was raised around guns hunting uh-huh so i don't have a fear of fire arms in any respect i respect i respect them and what their capabilities are um-hum um-hum and on top that spending a good portion of my earlier years in the military as a Green Beret i definitely respect the power of weaponry um-hum it's pretty powerful isn't it and here in Houston as well as just about any big city anywhere across this country and here here here you go here you this will be border line NRA which i am not a member of okay okay i mean you i know you've heard this this slogan um if you outlaw guns then only out laws will have guns um-hum that applies to anything as well as guns a gun well you've you've got well any of the big cities you've got the different rival gangs and they're having their little turf wars over their little drug kingdoms and such um-hum they get out their little Mac ten's they get out there little Uzis and they're going to fight with them and it doesn't matter what restrictions you put on that type of weapon or a class three firearm if they want it they'll get it i don't care if if they've got to go down in New Mexico to get it they'll get it and they'll get across the border now my position although i have absolutely no use for fully automatic weapon anyway um-hum since i am a law-abiding citizen and i have never had a felony if i wanted to buy one i don't think there should be that big of a restriction on it if they want to run a background check on me fine if they want to put a seven day waiting period fine again um-hum if they want to have want me to present a letter from my county sheriff saying that i've got his permission to have an automatic weapon in his county that's fine too um-hum um-hum what i don't gets dangerous in terms of civil liberties because pretty soon it's it wouldn't you don't want to have someone making a personal choice in that way i would hope i mean because that means someone the personal sheriff doesn't like doesn't get to have a gun and someone the personal sheriff well the only well the criteria the sheriff would have to follow has is this guy a convicted felon uh is he a habitual trouble maker are we picking him up every Saturday night for a drunk and disorderly and if he had an automatic weapon could he really be raising some problems yeah you know just proving that you're a basically a good citizen but if you're not a very if you're not a basically good citizen you just told me that you're going to get one of those guns anyway if if they want the firepower they can get it so why have it doesn't it doesn't matter how restrictive you're border control points are they'll get it across the border one way or the other so why have any restrictions at all uh okay now go back to that one to ten scale where one being total gun control ten being none i said about an eight uh-huh yeah um-hum um-hum well we could be i said the restrictions i would like to see on for anybody whether it being for handgun a rifle a shotgun i would like to see them go through either i'd like to see a law enforcement agency not NRA but whether it be the your state police or your county police for you to be able to purchase a handgun you got to go through their course and get certified that you know how to properly handle the weapon how to safely handle the weapon how to properly maintain it the three basics well that makes a lot of since to me i mean i certainly feel that if if we may disagree on when someone should own a fire arm but uh i certainly agree that if someone owns a fire arm they have as much responsibility to know how to do use it safely as someone learns how to drive if not more so well the hands in the hands of the wrong person the car can be just as deadly as a weapon as a as a pistol yeah well i'm a bicycler and that scares me too to tell you the truth because i've been run off the road and all sorts of things well i'm still i'm still puzzled though what is the argument how does the argument work if uh if the bad guys are going to have guns anyway what's the point of putting a restriction basically the restrictions are just to penalize the good guys because the bad guys are going to get the guns anyway they're not going to take those courses is it uh is it a way of raising the prices of illegal guns well there's if it's not going to cut the supply of illegal guns it must going to at least raise the prices is that uh main advantage uh not necessarily a price thing what is happening at least in this state and i expect to see it in other states very soon legislation's been introduced as that if a citizen of the state being myself um-hum has not committed a felony and has completed a certified weapons course i can carry a weapon on me at all times concealed or unconcealed unconcealed um-hum okay you you're you're from California right LA area um-hum uh no Bay area San Francisco Bay area okay okay you've been to the city all these people coming around um-hum someone attempts to mug me i would just i would as it stands now if he pulls a blade on me we're equally matched because i can meet him blade for blade um-hum now if this legislation comes through he pulls i'm out with my family we've gone shopping we're fixing to get in the car this guy comes out pulls a blade on me i'm going to pull a gun on him now um-hum when you're looking and when you're looking down the barrel of a hand cannon things change real quick what if you're looking down the barrel of a hand cannon then it's still equally matched i having spent having spent time in combat i feel i feel it before they'll get the gun on me yeah well i'm i'm sure i'm sure given given all your training i'm sure that if i'm we'll draw at the same time you know you'd if i walk into a bad neighborhood i'm sure i'd want to walk through with you because i'm sure you have good you know u h far far above the average instinct for how to use guns and how to use them effectively and everything um i'm quite concerned that if you let everyone who hasn't yet used a gun in a felony uh haven't hasn't yet committed a felony if you let them all walk around carrying guns in this sort of wild west scenario you're going to get an awful lot of people shooting guns pretty quickly just given human nature you're going to start getting a lot of gunfire it's it's hard for me to imagine that a a situation of you know take it to it's logical extreme if everyone walking around carrying guns you're not going to have an increase in gunfire i actually it's not it's more of a police action in itself the fact that everybody's packing a piece is a deterrent is a deterrence to someone saying well i'm going to mug this guy right here but hey he carrying just as much firepower as i can and if there's if you got to go through a certification course to get to where to where you can carry it in public um-hum then this individual also knows this guy's pretty good with it now whether this person is made the moral decision whether he can take another human life or not that's another trip but um-hum um-hum um-hum in defense of myself defense of my family or defense of my friends i can blow somebody a way in a heart beat um-hum even even more so when it comes to my my wife and son anybody tries anybody tries to hurt them i won't even blink yeah don't it no i i understand that what if uh what if you think someone's trying to hurt them and you make a mistake this this is where the question of gun control comes in what i consider gun control is being able to hit my target with the first shot yeah well uh that was the topic um-hum say a person uh starts uh uh get all of a sudden my combat antenna goes up and say i've got the vibes this guy's fixing to do something i go ahead and pull my piece um-hum and i make sure this persons sees it so he's got no doubt that i will use it on him and i will use it right then um-hum if he doesn't back up that point he deserves what he gets because i have sent the clearest signal you mess with me you mess with my family i'm going to dust you as it stands now i've got to do that with a blade and the only reason i feel confident comfortable comfortable doing that is because of the training i've had um-hum um-hum well as as someone who would would possibly be in the role of an independent bystander i feel more comfortable with people having blades because uh you're not going to get bullets flying around and killing people instantly and uh well if i'm the one doing the shooting i don't miss that's the kind of training i've had i mean it's okay Jerry uh could you tell me what what type of a house you have well at the moment i have a little vacation house back in the woods and it's brick and it has it's pine paneled uh and it's a vacation home well kind of because it's temporary oh i see okay and it but if you know if you want to talk about other kinds of homes my husband uh son is a builder in Oklahoma City and he was visiting a couple of weeks ago so we went around to see all uh the homes that how they build homes in Charlotte okay so are you new to are you're new to Charlotte what kind of materials they use kind of originally from this area uh from Virginia uh area but yeah oh okay uh but moved here from Oklahoma City originally from Oklahoma City well no but we spent twenty years in Oklahoma we're a mobile society wow twenty years is a long time yes it is to love it um so yours is your home right now is typical of the ones that are in the area well in the immediate area because we're in the county with the uh uh farmers kind of farmers they're about you know around ninety already eighty nine or ninety but their children have grown up and they have built then more contemporary are more uh uh kind some ostentatious homes huh okay uh but all traditional they're they're uh they're some are contemporary contemporary but mostly traditional yeah yeah oh how about your home um are you interested in uh it's uh it's a salt box that's a it's a it's a New England oh gosh type uh i was born and brought up in the area that that i lived in and it was very rural and there was nothing there but uh uh farms uh-huh uh or orchards one or the other you know there was a lot of apple orchards so when we decided to build we built uh-huh about thirteen years ago uh we looked for a home and the things that we were seeing were uh not up to my standards they were still building homes back then like they have for a hundred and fifty years you know the very little insulation in the walls and very little insulation in the ceiling so yes um-hum that doesn't work these days yeah and it was uh it wasn't what we wanted so we did some research and i knew the land there's a lot of ledge up here so you have to be careful um-hum uh their septic systems when there's no uh uh public sewer system there is water however so we picked out a piece of land that we liked and bought it and then we decided to build so we we did a lot of research like i said and we and we built a typical New England salt box in the area and when we built we were the first home there there was like about ten acres of oak forest around us oh my and it was absolutely gorgeous uh since then however they've torn it all down and we're surrounded by homes you know that's a that's another long story yes yes but we're the only typical New England home in the area there's a lot of there's an English Tudor right next to us and there's uh there's a colonial our street's on just a short street there's only like six homes on it uh-huh and there's a uh an English colonial down on the corner and the rest are raised ranches and you know the typical uh home yes but we built ours um we made uh we did it ourselves uh i sent uh uh some rough plans out to an architect to have him draw it up and then i subbed out the things that i couldn't do like i had a crew come in and frame it and i did the rest i did the inside the wiring the plumbing and uh you know um-hum sure my goodness so we built the walls huh you are multitalented you are multitalented uh my dad had built a couple when we were growing up so kind of got used to it and we did a lot of research uh-huh sure sure well if you were to do it uh again today what would you have done differently name things say uh we made the kitchen a working kitchen i think i would've made the kitchen uh a lot bigger because both of us like to cook uh-huh uh-huh and right now a working kitchen is very efficient but two people kind of get in each other's way yeah it's similar to a galley kitchen yeah and then we have uh a like a little dining area off that we have a formal dining room is that like a galley kitchen uh-huh uh-huh um i've since added onto the house we've got like uh uh looks like an old rustic uh log cabin on the inside uh it's all natural wood the ceiling's pine the walls are pine you know it's uh one of those type kick around rooms um-hum um-hum and we put a greenhouse on it it was uh designed to be heated by the sun yes how does that work in the winter um it works fine as long as you don't put any plants in it exactly it burns it up i'm a plant uh former plant person and uh business uh-huh so uh you know yes oh are you oh we raise orchids oh my which is a little bit tough to do up here in the north but it's a solar greenhouse we put up you know like the walls are six inches thick yeah yeah well do you not have shade cloths and so forth and uh-huh well no no we used uh fiberglass we're faced the the greenhouse faces solar south yeah yeah and it's it's double glazed fiberglass with a one inch airspace in between it yeah so it's kind of opaque we don't use shading on it um but we do have to uh have air a lot of air movement even in the wintertime it can get uh brutally hot in there so the way it was designed was to uh uh i put a four foot foundation under it and put in twenty two ton of rock with with uh hot air piped through it um-hum and all day long it just heats up and then at night it just gives it back into the house well great great so it's it's not bad it's it's uh i'd like a little bit warm land i'd like to go up further north and i'd like to instead of having a salt box i'd like to have it all on on one floor yes well come south and uh you will already you will be watching the azaleas bloom and go they are just about gone this time of the year that's right you guys must yeah because the actually the winter hasn't been really bad we're all no huh-uh everything's green all the leaves are out and all that so it's pret ty so you got your garden planted my spinach yeah sir it's it's probably gotten just a little bit too warm now we have trouble up here with uh uh really well for not summer crops summer crops it's uh it's really not time to plant okra not quite the ground isn't warm enough but uh some of those yeah no i uh i put down black plastic um-hum um-hum to help heat it up you know put it on the radishes and spinach but spinach kind of bolts quick on us so we put it Swiss chard instead yeah yeah right get that out early um-hum um-hum so anyhow that's what we've done for our house we've left it all natural so there's no upkeep you know it's white cedar shingle sure yeah and the trim is stained so i don't have to go out and scrape and paint because i figured when i got old and retire i don't want to be working i don't be a slave to the home no no you don't want to be on ladders do you you don't want to be on a ladder um right right because that peek is twenty eight feet high and you come off twenty eight feet and it hurts so um-hum um-hum well it certainly has been enjoyable talking to you this morning and uh hope to hear from you again sometime if they do that yes you too okay yeah all right you take care okay bye-bye good-bye thank you okay anyway so what have what have you been into did you watch LA Law last night uh no actually i i don't i i don't uh it's funny i don't really seem to watch a lot of television what um i usually like to pick up on TV are some of the news type of shows like you know 20/20 60 Minutes uh-huh um unfortunately a couple of weekly soaps like Knots Landing and uh Dallas we watch and uh and i usually uh i just other than those i i catch movies once in a while i like a lot of the movies that are you know true stories true to life that type of thing uh-huh um but i'm not i'm not real big on that much on television uh i don't have really many favorite shows that i i must see every week you know yeah uh part of that i think is uh i have two boys and you know usually i don't get to sit down to watch the they they they get first crack huh yeah yeah so uh anyway um but how about you then well i usually i guess a lot of the sitcoms uh-huh Cosby Cheers uh well i find i do sit down with them when they have those those they like a lot of those uh shows and often when they have them on uh uh-huh that's when they're quiet i like sit sit down with them and watch it yeah yeah A different A Different World a Different World yeah but some of the other ones like i've been getting into L A Law and uh uh-huh do you watch uh Thirty Something no i don't make a point i i guess i really never make a point to to watch anything i'll just end up catching it but uh yeah so you catch whatever might be on if you're interested that evening yeah you know if i'm not doing that night uh yeah you know which i guess is usually most nights no uh-huh yeah yeah but uh oh speaking of 20/20 you didn't see the one in with the exorcists exorcists uh um i you know i wanted to and i forget i really i kept seeing it advertised and i wanted to see that and i don't know we might not have been home or something excuse me and i didn't see that but i was really interested in in that i i found that a pretty interesting story that they said the church recognized that as as a real exorcism uh-huh uh did you see that show yeah i did and what what did you think what did they what uh was that all about oh well the girl that supposedly was possessed uh had actually uh you know seen uh you know something uh some medical the medical side i don't know if it was a psychologist or what all but uh-huh um you know it was interesting interesting it's interesting uh and uh you know i'm from you know i'm was raised Catholic fairly you know fairly fairly strong with my mom and dad so yeah my husband is too yeah but it you know that's kind of interesting um but the bottom line it you know they did the exorcism it wasn't real major you know she she was fairly you know she you know obviously there she you know she something was wrong with her uh-huh but uh it wasn't really uh you know extraordinary as far as her actions and she had done that and she felt like that helped her but at the same time shortly after that exorcism they also started um um um uh giving her medication for like a split personality type stuff of oh okay so uh she's doing better but and and the girl herself you know believes that it you know that she was uh you know possessed but and you know it it's hard to say hum it could be a multiple like one of these multiple personality disorders yeah i'm not i'm not sure you know who knows but uh anyway it wasn't uh also yeah huh you know it was uh it was you know it wasn't as dramatic as i guess maybe they made it seem well i i can't say it wasn't just because of the fact that that it's pretty unusual for something like that to be nationally televised uh or or have anybody come in you know who who would want to have that televised you know if that was happening to your daughter right and well right right and also and her parents are right there you know doing it all you know so yeah um and also for the church to recognize it as a a true exorcism you know um usually they're such i think i really think that there's a fine line between what um you know a lot of people think is possessed and what are really mental disorders you know and maybe in the old days you know many years ago what they often said oh people were possessed we probably recognize now as schizophrenia or something um uh-huh um and uh you know it's it's it's hard to to say you know whether it's it's just a it's a mental disorder or it's really uh uh it's a or if it's a split personality or something yeah wait honey i can't talk right now uh but um what i don't know now what area are you living in i'm in Phoenix Arizona right now oh wait Jackie what yes okay okay go excuse me so are you in Dallas uh no we are uh outside of Washington DC oh okay and i was just the reason i asked that i was curious i thought maybe in different parts of uh you know the country maybe there were certain shows that were more more popular than in other parts and i know in this area it's i don't know DC is especially the newer areas are really known for having so many yuppies you know and a lot of them are into Thirty Something and you know yeah yeah uh i don't know some of the other shows they watch um Twin Peaks you know and i'm not really into those shows and that really surprises people yeah i i never got caught up in Twin Twin Peaks either so yeah yeah and i just i was just wondering demographically if you know if different parts if there were shows that were more popular than in other areas i don't know like where you live um you know what are the real yeah what are the hot shows you know that everybody seems to want to watch uh i don't know i don't hear people talk at work you know uh-huh as far as uh you know what what people are getting into but um you know some of the top sitcoms obviously do you know always in the top five you know the Cosby or i think A Different World is real strong and yeah uh-huh uh now that's funny see i haven't even heard of that show that's just yeah well that's the one it's the one right after Cosby and it's produced by Co sby and it's about it's basically about uh college oh is that right so uh oh okay you know and it it obvious it's you know since since it's kind of promoted by Cosby it's you know mostly blacks i see uh-huh but uh but it's it's a pretty good show it uh and are all the kids into the Simpsons have you ever heard of Jasmine Guy pardon me uh yes okay now she's one of the main stars of that and now she's just come out came out with an album oh okay and uh and which is fairly successful she's got one or two singles that have done very well so but she is a very strong personality in that show uh and uh uh-huh i see it's your basic college and what people run into and they in fact they just had a show covering AIDS and uh oh is that right so you know they try to get their messages across i should say yeah now there's a new show on and i can't think of the name of it apparently the producer of it was a Potomac resident um you know which is right right around here close to where we we are living you know the Potomac uh-huh area outside of DC and and i i think he went to like Wooton High School here or something and and some of the papers that circulating the rumor that this show is based upon stories that actually happened at Wooton High where he went and that's and he she denies some of it you know um i oh eh eh i eh it might be the Beverly Hills um there's that one called Beverly Hills one O two one O or something like that uh um not sure and uh that's becoming a little popular and of course the kids all like the Simpsons here yeah and uh i guess it's the same there also yeah uh that one is is it still competing with Cosby um i'm not sure i don't know what's happened uh i know a lot of some of the parents won't let their kids watch it you know uh such a brat yeah but um it what what uh what changes would you like to see i mean in in in you know evening television do you think there should be more like news type programs like 20/20 or more comedies or weeklies honestly i'm indifferent i probably i probably will watch a little bit of everything uh i i i i get into movies i'll uh i'll see you know i'll watch 20/20 or i'll you're indifferent it doesn't matter yeah uh-huh uh you know i guess i'm only mostly into sitcoms i guess my favorite you know one show i'm really into is Arsenio Hall uh-huh oh yeah i watch that uh-huh and uh and then you know i've been watching him for a long time now and i i needed a break and i watched Johnny Carson last night a little more level you know and so it's like i'm just yeah think oh what do i feel like today you know we're getting option our options on different talk shows and i always liked watching Letterman but he starts so late you so you like some of these late shows yeah well the the talk shows with the personality yeah and uh yeah yeah talk shows yeah but uh Letterman starts pretty late out here about twelve o'clock uh-huh right oh oh okay but i'll still watch it once in a while yeah yeah um i guess so i think also probably because people now there are so many uh everybody has VCR's and rents so many movies that might have i don't know that might have hurt some of the the popularity of certain shows you know a lot of things that they put on Saturday nights a lot of people yeah do you have any strong feelings about gun control i have pretty strong feelings about it yeah i think that guns ought to be controlled uh i agree there should be some control but uh how strong of uh a control do you think there ought to be well let's see on one to ten i guess i vary i actually started out as a member of the NRA in my youth but having looked at murder statistics in other countries um it's so dramatic that i think that i'm probably down to about a two or a three in terms of control however no i'm sorry maybe up to a nine or a ten uh okay that's yeah okay got the scale going the other way um open the almanac one day and it just has murders of by by guns and you look and you look at European countries and and it's like six eleven four and you get to the US and it's four thousand sure and that tells me something about but if you make owning a a gun a crime only criminals will have guns i've heard that before and that's probably true yeah that that's i mean the other problem is there's so many guns out there if you ban sales of guns right now there'd still be millions and millions and millions of them sure uh but uh would it would really be nice to make it a little harder to get one so that every punk in the world doesn't doesn't pack a rod yeah i agree with that i think that some states are just far too lenient uh Texas and Florida are very easy on uh gun ownership being able to buy guns all it takes is a driver's license yeah and uh sign an affidavit uh saying that you didn't commit any felonies right so i think that ought to be uh tightened up i favor uh uh holding uh the guns say for for seven days or whatever until uh you can check out whether somebody is legitimate or not yeah and i think that might stop some of the uh impulsive crimes but uh things that like that are planned uh selling guns to New York City things of that nature i don't think you're ever going to be able to stop that there's just too much of a demand and people are going to get ahold of guns no matter what the restrictions are yeah i think i think that you're right it would be the pretty much the same problem that that prohibition is in fact pretty much the same problem that drug control is yeah if enough people want it and they're willing to pay for it they'll get it and a lot of people own guns just as a hobby and uh hunters in particular they're they're not uh buying guns to commit any crimes at all just uh uh pursuing their hobby yeah yeah but it it's uh ones uh say the midnight specials uh uh the semi semi automatic weapons uh assault rifles things like that that uh really have no place uh for a sportsman yeah that's certainly true i mean i own a handgun myself i've actually never fired the thing but uh-huh but um but i went out and bought it intending to to learn to use it and so on but i never did yeah i don't see any problem with owning a gun for self protection but uh education is is a big part of that people need to be educated on how to uh how to how to store their weapons uh so the kids can't get at them and so they're not a threat to the rest of the family yeah right right a lot of people don't get that type of education they don't have any kind type of safeguards on their weapons at home yeah i mean i certainly just walked into the store and bought mine and a box of bullets i suppose i could have gone and blown my own brains out or anyone else's who was who was nearby yeah although i must say i have a healthy respect for the thing yeah uh gun control legislation is uh is really tough to beat i mean the NRA is so strong and they lobby uh uh a lot in Congress yeah so uh it's going to be really tough to uh add uh gun control type of laws to what we already have yeah it's um it sort of amazes me that that in the Gulf War people were really concerned about ten or twenty or thirty or a hundred people dying and if a thousand people died in that war it would have been a mess and if five thousand had died it would have been considered a national calamity and yet that many people die uh from gunshot wounds i mean i think that we have our values in a in a sort of in in a funny place sure yeah uh yeah i'll have to agree with that it uh i never really correlated uh those two incidences say crime at home uh versus an international war but uh yeah i guess i don't know how to how to place that yeah i mean in some in some fields we seem to have this really profound respect for human life and in other fields we don't i think guns and automobiles are the two places where we're willing to take our licks but you know we're willing to accept sixty thousand highway deaths a year yeah uh that's that's true uh and uh when it gets to the point where it's unacceptable where the majority of the people find it unacceptable they may find cause to write their Congressman and lobby for some stronger controls yeah but uh yeah we are very tolerant a very tolerant society and uh it takes a great deal of uh abuse before we get our act together yeah in some areas but i think in other areas um i don't know i guess this this this this Gulf War came to mind where where um well war just comes to mind you know couple a hundred people get get blown up and it's and it really shakes the country to it's roots maybe just because of the way it happens right uh-huh and uh but you know we'll go all out uh to save uh a child with a rare disease who makes the newspaper will get millions of dollars in contributions and and all kinds of medical aid because that one life is considered so precious yeah when it's viewed somehow when it's viewed in i don't know as as a single life it becomes very precious and when you view it as a statistic whether it's guns or automobiles or smoking um people just don't see those as individual lives somehow or they don't they don't uh relate to them personally i think it depends on uh who's leading the crusade and how strong they feel about it take for instance Mothers Against Drunk Driving that used to be just a very small organization started by a housewife yeah and now it's a national organization they they're very powerful uh they collect a lot of money yeah yeah and uh it i think it's made an impact i mean it it's made a lot of people cut down on their their drinking and driving because the laws are enforced stronger now yeah it DWI convictions are very serious yeah they are and and it's really changing the social structure of things i know i went out with a bunch of people i don't know six or seven people and we were just sitting around drinking beer and the waitress asked us which one was driving she didn't want to right wasn't going to serve that person anything because uh they're liable anybody who serves anything to anybody is liable can be sued hm yeah i didn't think about that i sort of thought that with guns i think it ought to be the same way i think people who own guns ought to be held responsible for things that happen with those weapons yeah i thought that was the case i mean if uh if my kid grabs my gun and goes and shoots somebody i would really have the feeling that they're going to come banging on my door well i saw a talk show just the other night where uh there was a mother on the show and her uh son had been killed in a neighbor's house by one of the neighbor's handguns huh when only the other kids were at home they apparently had three handguns that were uh in plain sight one on top of the refrigerator one in the on the bedroom dresser and one somewhere else but uh hum just teenagers and uh and grade school kids at home and one of the kids got shot by a gun got killed and apparently no charges were filed against the owner of the gun who happened to be a police officer hum i don't know what that says it's pretty sad so it's i guess they say accidents will happen and uh uh you know it's just hard to say who's at fault for uh things like that that happen yeah but somebody's got to be uh um somebody's got to be held responsible ultimately so i don't know i think the law should be tightened up on on gun ownership but i can't see a total ban on it at all uh because then you're still going to have criminals with guns and it's not going to help uh the situation uh there people want to break the law they're going to do it yeah it's well it's just too late i mean there are countries i've lived in both Japan and England where guns are not available even criminals don't carry them or it's so hard to get and the and the law is so severe for people caught using them that by and large uh they don't well they have a lot tighter controls on importing things of that nature too you can't get them through airports uh yeah yeah you know like in uh Germany in the airports there where there uh where terrorism is so much of a threat uh the uh policemen have uh automatic weapons you know and uh i don't know what the penalties are for trying to smuggle guns into a country like that but i imagine they're quite severe yeah no i think by the by the the the year nineteen hundred there were probably enough guns in the US i mean it's just always been a way of life here the wild wild west right well i've heard it said that that's one of the reasons why we're not as much a threat to be attacked by other countries because everybody and his brother's got a gun at home and what are you going to do about that You got two hundred million guns here and it's uh it's more than just an army well yeah that's uh that's a point although uh if that's the case why are we spending all this money on all of this high tech weaponry i wonder well there that's your your professional army uh that's your first line of defense yeah uh that that's for your your mercenary forces that go across overseas and and attack other countries but at at home here right have you run into any problems with invasion of privacy there well what i consider invasion well maybe it's just invasion of my private time is i we get a lot of those computer generated uh telephone calls um where they just you know go through the list and whenever you pick up the phone it's a recording and there you're supposed to hold on for a very important phone call and i feel that if it was so important that they would uh be there instead of putting me on hold oh well that explains that i got one the other day they they did that uh it was a very important phone call from somewhere and they put me on a dead line for oh it must have been minutes and i said well it couldn't have been that important and i wound up hanging up and i've always wondered what that was yeah we uh i don't know why it is but there have been so many of those that um instead of the the sales usual sales calls that you get that they um will just run through the list and i guess wait for someone who's going to hang on to talk to them but uh yeah then we get a lot of those um almost sort of like these TI phone calls no right right no these these are beneficial too too uh for personal uh benefit here so yeah you you don't mind them no most of the people that are looking for me will try to get a hold of me at work that's about the only place they can pin me down um-hum and uh so about any important phone call that i have i'm going to get it at work and if the phone call comes to the house chances are it's either for my wife or one of the girls uh-huh and so i just do not answer the phone call you know i'll let it ring until somebody else answers it and if they say dad it's for you i says what are they selling and i'd say ninety percent of the time if the calls for me at home it's somebody who wants to sell me some oil leases or some right right swamp land in Florida some uh grave sites or something like that yeah we get a lot for uh aluminum siding um and uh but yeah what do you all have what do you consider your invasion of privacy i consider that to be the invasion of privacy particularly when i'm sitting down at the dinner table and they give me a call and i i have to answer this phone to find out they're trying to sell me something and my dinner's getting cold right right that seems to be the prime time they call is is definitely well between uh six and eight o'clock i guess yeah well i think for metropolitan areas they realize that most people work and that that probably the majority of people both husband and wife work and so there's nobody home except maybe school kids after school um-hum right and so they might as well not even try you know not even tie up people dialing phone numbers except in the evening um-hum fortunately they have uh sufficient respect that they don't call after ten o'clock and they don't call before eight o'clock in the morning right i'm surprised they don't though uh i but i'm sure if they did that uh there would be a lot more uh public uh uh voice about it that uh we wouldn't go for that yeah yeah i think if i got a phone call at six o'clock in the morning it was somebody trying to sell me something i would call the phone company immediately and list them as a nuisance call um-hum right and what's so bad about it is um and they don't i mean all it is is they just go through down a list of numbers i mean they don't know who they're calling it didn't seem like uh it they're just a haphazard um uh at it so i don't know yeah but i think that's about the biggest invasion of privacy we have uh there are a few others but uh i presume that they have legitimate purposes right right yeah the government seems to intervene quite a bit uh one of the other complaints i have is uh have you ever checked your credit with the credit bureau uh no not yet you ought to do that it's interesting that to see who has inquired about your uh finances because uh they're required to keep track and for i think about the preceding year uh-huh and it's interesting to see who has uh called and inquire about your credit and there's quite a few companies that uh want to send you credit cards or uh charge cards you know will ask for a uh credit dump and then right send you a letter trying to get you to take their credit card open a charge account with some company that now we've gotten several of those letters as far as trying to um sign us up for you know like you you've been uh approved for a pre you know for a credit card and all this and uh i've always wondered how yeah and uh why now we had a problem not too long ago our uh my brother-in-law recently moved and uh somehow or another we we got their new address on our credit reports because the uh i guess the credit card companies or whatever sort of keep up on some of them and uh had uh picked up the new address and was sending all our bills over there um so it was like okay now wait a second here so it'll be interesting to see how that works out how messed up things will be yeah that takes some paperwork to get straightened out yup so that was a mess but uh yeah it the credit there was a report not too long ago on the news here on uh they were going about how easily it was to get information about anyone and uh you know they got a credit history um you know went through all the moves that they made you know their uh yeah it was just amazing the stuff that they got and it was so easily you know it was all public uh information it seemed like um-hum well there are uh lists that go by zip codes um-hum and uh a lot of companies will target people for specific zip codes because of uh you know if you live in the Elton region or Great Falls area of Fairfax County or Montgomery County in Maryland right uh-huh uh you're a prime candidate to be living in a rich house and uh spend money on foolish things so uh that gets you on a mailing list for Jaguars and Rolls Royces and things like that um-hum yeah we're in one of those counties and uh it uh you get lots of interesting things in the mail in Fort Bend County in southwest Houston the it seems to be the the up grown you know the uh yeah the uh new generation or whatever the up and coming people are all are moving out this direction and uh the new it's funny to see how the different stores are now changing uh to the um um-hum new demands and uh or trying to get the different uh people in yeah and so uh but yeah i do you know you brought a good point about the um credit histories the credit reports that uh i feel is an can be an invasion of privacy if it's used wrong um-hum well there was something on the news just this morning that uh somebody in doing their and uh should be so uh Master's dissertation or something of that nature uh did a study uh-huh of uh credit card reports or or credit reports and they found that something like twenty percent of them have erroneous data in there uh data that would prevent that person from getting a loan in the future or or getting a credit advance and uh the information was erroneous um so uh i i think everybody recommends that uh well they've they the uh story this morning on this radio suggested you ought to do this about once a year but i figure about once every five years is good enough that's right because isn't it uh about fifty dollars to get one oh is it oh okay i was thinking uh maybe i got some wrong information somewhere uh it's about five dollars yeah it's fairly cheap yeah well i had it done just to make sure that there wasn't any wrong information in there everything seemed to be all right right but it it's difficult to change those or or easily to correct though oh well apparent apparently not not if you uh approach the people and and they're they're interested in keeping their records accurate right but uh it's just nice to make sure that no uh uh strange records show up right there was one case i think here recently where some fellow down in Southwestern Virginia uh wound up being arrested for uh failure to provide child support and he didn't have any children and he had a heck of a time convincing the authorities that he wasn't the the party that was responsible for failing to make child support payments oh i bet his wife was like okay come on what are you not telling me here right the second life here oh yeah oh well i enjoyed talking to you and uh uh you i guess have a nice day thank you bye-bye all righty thank you bye well i guess you said that you're you're a uh you're engaged so you really don't have a a family budget to manage right now right uh i don't have a family budget but we do have a budget already to we're paying for our own wedding and everything well that's good right oh that's good so you're really planning on uh how to how to manage money from the beginning and that's a a good time to start so uh-huh uh we've been married twenty five years and uh we find that uh you know money management is is really important we uh don't have a lot but we still you know manage it fairly well we don't have a formal budget uh-huh uh we have just found that uh by trying to practice uh paying our bills every month uh especially our credit card accounts uh we don't spend more in a month than what we typically expect to be able to pay at the end of that month uh-huh or when the bill comes we find that that works pretty well for the most part excuse me uh are are you planning on having a a real budget and and setting up a monthly monthly amount to spend or uh i myself i don't do it i've been paying for my own college education also for the past four years so uh uh-huh and my parents also have been married for twenty five years and i kind of picked up what they do they really don't have a formal budget like you do uh-huh and they just pretty much know how much they have coming in you know and they just make sure they don't buy over uh-huh and i'm pretty much like that also i don't buy a lot of luxury items i buy what i need and i buy it when it's on sale you know and i i don't go out of the way but my fiancee now he has a set budget that he goes by and he allots so much to each thing and it works out good for him but uh-huh i think whenever like for the wedding we're doing this you know the wedding money we're doing together and uh we've actually sat down and wrote out how much everything's going to cost and you know making sure we have enough for everything and going from there well now then i guess that's really you know the the idea of budgeting we know you know how much money's going to be coming in and we know what we have to spend so we don't uh you know we don't go out and spend a lot of money that for one thing when we need it for something else uh-huh and uh i guess that's a budget in in a sense it's it's strange i'm an accountant and my wife manages most of the money so you know i manage other people's money but or or you know help them manage their money uh-huh so i kind of let her manage ours and then you know if there's any questions come up you know we discuss it and work things out whatever needs to be worked out uh-huh uh-huh well see uh well like i said he he does computer he's with computer work and i'm a finance manager uh-huh uh-huh but uh we decided that we would kind of share like the books you know uh-huh he he he doesn't like the idea that i would just do all of it and i don't mind you know him helping with it either i think it's just pretty much going to be i think most couples you know it's not yeah it's it's not like one person doesn't know what's in there at any time you know right it yeah you you have to i think that's the the a good idea for both you know both parties to know what the finances are yeah then there's not ever any you know any question about whether or not the money can be spent or whether it's being spent properly or if one person knows that uh that if both parties know that uh-huh what has to be spent then there's not going to be i've already said that no questions uh-huh and and then plus if there's any uh you know tragedy or anything in the family then both parties are prepared to to take over control of the of the financial situation for themselves if they have to yeah uh-huh it's uh i've seen it uh seen it happen where you know people been married twenty twenty five years and one party or the other managed the the money and you know something happens and the other one was left not knowing what was going on so you really need both of them uh-huh yeah well he's been on his own for probably oh it's been four years now so he is able you know to manage the money uh since we've decided to get married and stuff he hasn't been as carefree with his money like he used to he used to be really carefree with it and uh-huh like i well my my i came from a family we my mom had twelve children and my dad didn't start out as a out as with a high paying job you know so she cut pennies wherever she could yeah you know and i i've learned that from her and and it's really helping out now because in the you know yeah in just in the in a matter of a year and a half we've we've been managed to save it's going to be almost enough to pay for our entire wedding you know and we're talking five or six thousand dollars saving in a year and a half yeah well that's great uh-huh yeah so that's that's pretty good and it's you know it's good that you've got that that uh background of of managing and saving as much as you can with today's economy uh-huh because you know things are so uncertain that you really have to watch you know be prepared to you know to cut spending when you have to yeah but uh you know it's money management's really an important thing you know with today's with the situation the way it is uh-huh uh-huh and i know a a lot of couples starting out uh i don't think they really think about saving any either right you know and uh now i know you know as my mom and dad that's been a big part on them and i think it will be a big part on us also but i know a lot of couples don't even think about it or retirement or you know or in case an accident would occur right yeah most most young young couples starting out think uh well i've got you know forty years before i need to think about retirement so they they plan on waiting you know half of that time and so they wind up uh-huh when they you know twenty years later and they've already reached that point where they're spending everything they're making yeah and they say oh well we have the money we might as well spend it now yeah and they well they they got their uh their lifestyle geared to to spending everything and they can't cut back enough to start saving so uh-huh if you cut back to start with you you know you'll find you'll be surprised at how easy it is to you know if you start off saving and just continue to do that yeah it is really pretty easy i mean myself i'm a college student and i get loans you know i i don't receive grants but i do have loans and just in the matter since uh Christmas uh-huh i've managed to pay about five hundred dollars on my wedding dress myself you know and it it's amazing where you can cut your pennies and you know uh-huh yeah so that's that's real good well any other anything else that we want to talk about on budgeting no i we seem to agree on everything yeah that's that's good every once in a while you find somebody on these conversations that you don't agree with everything have to bite your tongue but uh-huh well i really can't think of anything else on it okay well it's been nice talking to you it's been really nice talking to you too uh-huh bye-bye yeah okay thank you bye-bye and uh what part of Virginia um uh i live down in the south western part of Blacksburg Blacksburg okay i've been uh-huh have you ever heard of Virginia Tech sounds vaguely familiar VPI yeah okay yeah okay that's yeah i i hadn't been down in that part of the state really uh-huh okay so well we vacation a lot how about you quite frequently uh i wish we did well retired early so we're we take trips pretty often oh okay where all you guys go well we go to Maine every Fall um-hum then that's kind of a family visit and a vacation all up and down the coast um-hum and i have a daughter in Texas and one in New Mexico so we go out there and we go to Florida huh and down oh we were just out recently at the outer banks of North Carolina all these places that i've never been is that right where do you go um what type of vacation well it really depends i mean uh seems like i do a lot in the Midwest lately um my um fiancee's family's from Wisconsin uh-huh and so we've been out there a couple of times and um i uh went to Purdue for a couple of years so i've gone up to Indianapolis on occasion to visit friends uh-huh and um uh i'm a real big baseball fan so i usually try to combine it with uh catching a couple of games somewhere uh-huh what club do you follow i'm uh i'm a big Red Sox fan but uh i uh oh you're you're a Red Sox fan too red sounds good me too yeah uh-huh uh i usually try to catch whoever's in town though i don't specifically i you know go to Cleveland to see them play the Red the Indians play the Red Sox uh-huh um uh that's about it we don't i mean we do a lot of little trips around here um and um ever go up in Pennsylvania in the mountains or not that much we've gone out to um uh a place in western Pennsylvania called Falling Water uh oh have you ever heard of it i've heard of it i've never been there yeah it's it's really neat it's this house built on on a waterfall and it's uh really cool um of course we keep picking crummy weather to go out there uh the first time we went out there was uh the day after hurricane Hugo had come through uh-huh oh gee so i mean they they didn't have any power and it was really cold and and rainy and uh we went up about a year later and it was better but not a whole lot better uh-huh so um where else did we go um we've gone to Richland last year and uh had a good time down there oh did you did you go down to Williamsburg have you been down there um my girlfriend has with her sisters but i haven't been down there um i hear that's nice we're going to get down probably down Norfork sometime this Summer just to see why catch a baseball game actually uh-huh uh-huh we were down well when we came back from the outer banks we came up due Norfork and spent a night there with a friend in Portsmith and then went to Williamsburg and spent a night hum spend a day and a lot of money yeah yeah i've heard uh i'm not real interested in Williamsburg because of the of the price attached to it we just we i yeah but it's a pretty neat town to just go and walk around if you like to walk it's a good town to just walk in hum yeah we all do that you can go to the buildings and not go in if you're not oh okay so i can wander around without yeah you can wander it's a good town to wander in oh okay i just have it pay somebody to get into the buildings that's right oh okay i didn't know that yeah i think um you know they do the whole with you know paying a ridiculous amount of money to get get into one thing or another but they had a good time so yeah we didn't do that really this time we just uh visited around um we've done it a couple of times and that's enough for us probably another twenty years um-hum yeah i was um we use it live in California and um my um up up around San Francisco and um there was one year when my father was uh my father's company was starting to to do stuff down in Los Angeles so my father was working down in Los Angeles for like um six months or so um actually i think it was closer i think to a full year and you know we'd he'd fly down there on Mondays and fly back on Fridays well any time we had a school vacation or something like that we went down to Los Angeles so i saw i went to Disneyland about five times in one year and i really have no great urge to go back now oh that's great as a kid though isn't it i mean oh it was great because uh well the times that were really fun were when uh we had vacation but the kids in Los Angeles didn't so we basically had run of the park um uh-huh right Disneyland i mean there's still a lot of people at Disneyland but there was another um another amusement park down there Busch Gardens um there was nobody there when we were there we got we won a log floating ride like five straight times we just get get done with them and they go oh do you want to go again and we'd say sure have you ever you've never been down to Epcot at Florida and Disney no i'd like to sometime but that's good we we really enjoy that we've been two or three times and probably go back again this winter yeah i've never been the farthest south i've been on the East Coast is Charlotte so i um keep wanting to get south further you know i thought i would go to Florida a couple summers ago but never did it oh uh-huh Charleston is a really nice place to visit my um my sister lives in Charlotte and they've gone to Charleston a couple of times and had a real good time uh-huh yeah it's a real pretty place um yeah one of these days we'll get down there although i don't know when we're going to have vacation to do it we're um we're planning getting married in about a year and our honeymoon we're going up to this um oh are you um place in Wisconsin called Door County it's up by Green Bay it's a place my girlfriend's also wanted to go and um uh-huh or is it on uh one of the lakes it's um uh i don't if you've ever seen a map of Wisconsin but there's kind of like a little a little thing sticking out uh in the Lake Michigan that's Door County uh-huh oh okay that would yeah that would be really nice so yeah they call it the Cape Cod of the uh the Midwest so um oh we're thinking that'll be a lot of fun she um she had this uh book of pictures from it that were really nice kind of like a travel guide uh-huh uh-huh sounds good so um that that should be a lot of fun well i don't know what our next trip will be i guess our next well i know what my next trip i'm going to be a grandmother in July ooh oh boy the first the first one so my next trip is going to be to Texas oh that'll be fun yeah in the middle in the middle of the summer well yeah you won't even notice it though well they'll be air-conditioning anyway so yeah is that is that how you got into this uh this you know uh on the data base yeah my daughter's working as a temp at Texas Instruments and working on this project oh okay yeah i was i was just i mean most of the people i've talk to are from are from Texas so when i you know when i heard you were from Virginia i was like oh okay there's somebody different and you said oh i got somebody down in Texas i go okay that the connection right there uh-huh that's it yeah i talked to one in California i never asked him the other day how he was connected i don't think he was TI employee um i um most people talk to Texas there's been a couple of other the people um most of whom are like me that work in in speech labs that are going to use data base eventually oh i see so um it was fun i actually yesterday i ended up talking to somebody else from the same lab i'm in is that right well we spent last week end in Charlotte with real good friends that had just moved to back East from Oklahoma and she's uh working on this project too i mean she's talking ooh um-hum on the project too and uh we got back Monday and i got a call yesterday and it was her on TI Network um-hum uh that's neat i haven't uh i haven't had something like that happen just uh just getting the one guy from the lab uh-huh um you're sure have a nice town uh my uh sister lives on Lake Norman oh does she yeah that's nice out there just yeah um we keep wanting to get down there and visit them over the summer and it's never really works out uh-huh yeah it's real pretty yeah well traffic not much else we do for vacation really uh just so we don't haven't been able to take really any are you a golfer no me either no no are you guys golfers or no huh-uh nope oh not too much into sports except our outside though just walking that's all oh i don't think there are any trying to think if there are any minor league teams down in that area and i'm know real sure there are um no professionals when um i was thinking i might be minor league but oh there's one in Salem Salem Rebels yeah Salem Rebels hum Buccaneers oh okay Buccaneers yeah um yeah i maybe seeing them um in a town just west of here Frederick has a um has a minor league team that plays in the same league with Salem and uh i think we may be seeing them this weekend oh is that right up there in Frederick uh-huh yeah i think they're out of town yeah um that's a nice little town actually Frederick um i've never been up there i've never visited Baltimore i'd like to go just sight see a little bit sometime oh there's there's some nice things in Baltimore you know the Inner Harbor and the uh the Aquarium and all that are very nice um they've just done a um you known i you know the Aquarium is one of those things that you know because everybody uh-huh okay what are your suggestions in making a family reunion successful have a big family i guess that's a start well i guess so have you had any in the last how well how old are you twenty five so i just got married okay so you have you have been to some family reunions perhaps right every four years on one side of my family they plan on having um like my parents grandparents and all their brothers and sisters and then all their kids and grandkids now how long in advance do they uh let them know well we plan on it it's like the third weekend in August so it's every four years and so uh-huh so they all know it yeah and then you know arrangements are made like during the Summer for you know um food and whose whose staying where because a lot of people from are from down here in Texas and uh a lot of my family is in Indiana that's where i'm originally from uh-huh uh-huh yes so um we usually meet like at my uncle's cottage in the um at the lake and uh make a couple days of it well that sounds like fun do they all have the small children too that come yeah pretty much so all ages yeah and uh you know there's some my age and then there are some a lot younger an about four generations i guess well my husband has uh on one side has an extended family uh-huh and they don't ever plan it like as like you do i think if you can count on it every four years then uh-huh people have it in mind so they have to start talking about it or getting their act together about six months ahead to get in touch with everybody because they're rather socially active too uh-huh yeah and so it has it seems that by doing it about six months ahead they can pretty much get everybody there if they don't you know they'll say oh we're planning to go so and so that go to to a certain place that weekend with somebody else and we're already locked in but six months ahead has seemed to be okay for them uh-huh my family uh my parents are the youngest of very large families oh therefore they don't have many people left yeah and uh the few previous ones i've had uh i haven't known many of those people but uh in the last few years it really has just been our immediate family and that's been very nice with uh i have one sister and three brothers uh-huh and they're only three out of five of us who have children oh so uh we get to spend a lot of quality time with each other and that's kind of nice because my husband's family reunions are so large yeah uh-huh and they don't see each other very often we don't really know many of them yeah that's kind of bad it really is they're fun they're a lot of fun but uh still uh they're not done on a regular basis yeah and uh you kind of forget what happened and who they were from the time before yeah yeah it's it's fun getting together with immediate family a lot of my cousins are real close and we always get together during holidays and weddings and stuff like that so uh those are the ones that are in Texas um no the ones in Indiana uh-huh or you go to Indiana on that uh-huh where in Indiana Lafayette Lafayette i don't know where i used to live in Indianapolis yeah it's a little north of Indianapolis about an hour yeah yeah it's very pretty country in there i think it's gorgeous uh-huh so well i uh when is your next one uh scheduled now uh-huh well it's like the last one was my high school graduation the next one was when i graduated from college so i guess about two more years yes well and do you think you'll have a baby to take back with you uh maybe i don't know two more years i don't know probably maybe i mean you need another milestone you know yeah i guess that's that's what i mean i've been married now for about nine months so that was another milestone i guess yes well i'm sure and have then all of your family probably has not met your husband um yeah he's from Indiana so they all met yeah oh is he and and he's living your both living in Sherman yeah do you work to TI uh-huh and does he uh-huh no he's trying to get in med school uh-huh well we don't either but uh i have a friend who uh is working on this project so oh really yes and are they getting all the data they need well i don't know uh i i have a hard time getting uh people on the telephone oh really uh-huh getting through to anybody sometimes i call off and on all day huh but anyway uh i guess we're supposed to be talking about family reunions aren't we but i got off that well we've kind of exhausted everything i guess yes well um i think we have been talking probably about four and a half minutes oh okay and uh uh we both look forward to going to our next reunions i'm sure oh yeah but it has been fun talking to you well you too and maybe i'll talk to you again okay bye-bye thank you okay good bye-bye we're supposed to talk about the Middle East crisis and should we be involved and uh what's it going to cost us in the long run okay okay are you ready i guess so the Middle East crisis should we be there oh dear that's a hard one that's really hard for me because uh you know i really i have a son that's sixteen and i think you know eventually you know he'll be of of drafting age and i think gosh do i want him to go and yet i'm proud to be an American and i know that we have a a country that you know people would give anything to live in a lot of people anyway because we have so many wonderful things that they don't have and yet i don't know whether i'd be willing to give his life for for this country and yet and yet i know that i that and i i when i was in school it was always the tired the tired excuse that we went to war to save us against communism but i'm not sure that that that's the reason anymore i mean not sure that communism is is as strong as it once was and i'm not sure that that that's the reason why we're like we were in Vietnam supposedly so well you realize why we were in the Middle East why we invaded Iraq why we were in Saudi why we attacked Kuwait and we we're why we are still fighting Iraq well with the well it's because of oil isn't it no i really believe it's because i think it has something to do with oil don't get me wrong um-hum but Saddam is Saddam is a madman oh yes i agree with that anyone that would use chemical weapons to fight his own people oh yeah well yeah he's uh a bad person very definitely yeah and obviously that has something to do with it oh sure sure and and if you know i can see that he was in Kuwait um-hum Kuwait was the non aggressor um-hum um-hum and the Saudis are our allies we have several treaties and several alliances with the Saudis that range back for probably forty years yeah many years you know they've been our friends through thick and thin um-hum they were at the Saudi border well um-hum and ready to storm into Saudi shouldn't we try and help our friends certainly but what at at what cost you know that's the uh the thing it came out it came out wonderfully supposedly i mean everything is and we won what did we lose forty one Americans lives yeah and that that's wonderful but what if if that wasn't the case what if we would have lost thousands of young men would that would it have been too much of a price to pay for that i don't know see and i think there are a lot of things that we don't know but oh of course our government is full of liars thieves and crooks the American people oh sure well and there's a lot that we and that's our own fault because we elected them yeah i think that's true but i think there's a lot that we the public doesn't need to know i think there's some things we shouldn't know just for national national security sake and i you know i think if we did know i think there would be a lot more chaos than there is because i don't i don't think people could handle it so i think there are things that we should not know the masses shouldn't know but i also agree that there are a lot of crooks and liars too you know it's uh i went on jury duty here not long back um-hum and uh one of the guys that was on the jury they were asking him if if you could believe a lawyer or if a lawyer's reputation was so tainted that he couldn't be believed um-hum and one guy being selected snickered and couldn't keep his head up you know and um-hum the guy said well can you share it with us what you what you find so funny he says well i already told you my sons a lawyer he said that when he graduated the day after his bar examine there in Houston um-hum um-hum he told him dad you know how to tell when a lawyers lying to you his lips are moving oh my gosh oh and ninety percent of all politicians are lawyers oh i have a lawyer background yeah have a law background you're right so by definition all lawyers and politicians are liars the fact that they take our money and don't do what we think is right makes them thieves yeah that's true yeah that's true so what's it going to cost us in the long run there in Saudi are we going to lose more lives there see and i don't know i don't know i can't tell the future that's what scares me so much about it i mean i thought the war was going to go on and on i really was surprised when it ended so quickly and well we hit them with more in one month than we used in three years the last three years of Vietnam i know yeah and whenever you strike on open terrain with that sheer volume um-hum um-hum there's nothing they can do about it right you know it's not like we threw eight aircraft over there all by ourselves and said this is wrong um-hum um-hum we were there the Brits were there the French were there this is with UN backing um right um-hum and to some level even Russia was behind us um-hum right they were so honestly if there is was a well perceived war world wide this was it oh sure sure but what i can't understand is then many of the Kuwaiti youth didn't fight wouldn't fight um-hum it's okay for us to go expend our youth's um-hum lives like so much water in the desert yeah yeah and it's not their job to fight for their own land yeah that is very it's very strange uh and yet you know see that's another thing that that's difficult for Americans their culture is so much different than ours that you know i've heard from many people that we could not even begin begin to understand how they feel about things because their values and their perceptions are so much different than ours and um they just don't think the same way we do their culture is completely different and almost opposite and really from all i can indicate from all indications the Iraqi beliefs if you will are more similar to our own um-hum yeah that's true and the Kuwaitis aren't even helping rebuild their own country the Kuwaiti young won't rebuild anything they won't work huh i didn't realize that yeah it was on the news last night oh my word the uh US Army is doing it all hum yeah see and that's another question you have to ask is this our job is are we should we still be there even you know i don't know the answers to that those questions i think they're tough and i think you know it's i don't know that anybody knows the answers i think they know what they believe but i'm not sure they really are one hundred percent sure well they talked to uh one Kuwaiti woman yesterday um-hum and her biggest concern in life was that she couldn't get a housekeeper you're kidding that's unreal and do you have a housekeeper no no and don't plan on having one either ever so well i wouldn't mind having one oh i'd love to have one but you know but you know i'd like to uh make sure that i have a job tomorrow first sure sure that's right that's right it it astound you realize that the Kuwaiti government gives every Kuwaiti man woman and child money uh no i wasn't i didn't wasn't aware of that no for nothing for doing nothing yeah for nothing for for for doing nothing for sitting on there keisters um-hum um-hum ooh that ought to give their programming trouble shouldn't it uh they do nothing they hand them money each year and they're part of hi this is Judy i'm from Maryland and i'm in California visiting right now hi Judy this is Norma and i live in Virginia oh okay we got a great topic i know i'm sitting here going oh dear should we give it a try i guess we might as well okay okay okay well um so so so what changes have you seen let you start what changes uh i guess the biggest i don't know your age Judy but i in my lifetime the biggest is in more women working definitely well actually that's what i was thinking too yeah and um you know just to jump ahead a little bit but then we can back up is it perhaps women in politics is for the future for the future right yeah because i don't see that really yet in positions of power really right i don't see them in positions in power in corporations either not many ah that's true that's true um do you work in private corporation or government i did work in government ah and before that i worked in a bank for eight years um-hum um-hum and now i'm retired oh are you that's the best status yes um i don't i see um in that's right which do you work in excuse me a government in government and i work in academia before uh-huh and um actually there's one um woman in our i don't know what you'd call it uh institute who is a manager and i mean in a sense perhaps um a lot of she gets protected a lot because uh it's almost like a token oh and and it's sort of unfortunate because i think that they don't accept her technically and but she's a good paper pusher uh-huh and it's in a technical position really and you know she should be more technical for what she does uh-huh and i think that's sort of unfortunate because it doesn't it doesn't really help the cause in the long run right um but um you know i don't know and and teaching i still see that that's where most of the women are in teaching in teaching and you know and it's always been that way but not at the college level right not well we live in a college town and i worked at the university for a while and there are there are woman there but they're not the high paid uh-huh um-hum not department chairmen professors that the men are yeah not the deans and things like that well they did have one woman dean but and i guess she she probably did very well but that's the minority um-hum um-hum hum and do you think it's because women aren't qualified or or just don't or don't want the job or just aren't hired for the jobs none of the above i think they are extremely well qualified uh-huh uh i don't know how they're just not selected somehow i think they're not selected um-hum and course at this university uh this it's a big engineering school um-hum and i don't think there are many women in the engineering college uh-huh and that's where the high pay is oh okay but i'm wondering how many women actually major in engineering actually but you know i say that but yet i know two quite an well i think there are more than there used to be yeah i'm sure there are yeah but they may not go into teaching um-hum yeah i mean the two that i know obviously are not in teaching but um uh-huh it's it i suppose in a since i was surprised when they told me they majored majored in engineering i don't know why i but i don't know that many men that have majored in engineering either uh-huh i mean it's just because i'm in the humanities it's just oh uh-huh you know it's not not something that i tend to hear about yeah uh-huh but um yeah it's uh well i met one one day that uh had just joined the faculty in agricultural engineering and that really surprised me oh that's interesting uh-huh yeah yeah i mean i i suppose that that it's difficult to really say why because you know there there probably are a limited number of women who are interested in the subject and well qualified uh-huh and maybe there aren't you know maybe they don't apply for the job i don't know i don't i don't know how many go on and get a PhD in engineering right right which could be you know partial partially cultural anyway that could be that's true so that it might be circularly being the same problem of of expecting not to get hired for the good jobs anyway so why spend your time getting qualified uh-huh that's right it's a it's a rough it's a rough a rough situation um and i guess what i what amazes amazes me is the number of men who are willing to stay home with the kids or and in our case we actually have one father who works part-time a six hour day so that he can take the kids oh kids or kid i'm not sure to school in the morning and be home that's interesting when the children or child comes home in the afternoon is it uh was she the major wage earner i mean did she earn more money that he did or do you know th is is uh well see i don't know anything about the family but but yeah i would imagine she might um because he's you you know he's a really nice guy but he did say that because he was in the humanities and he's now working in more of a technical situation that he had trouble finding a job oh uh-huh so that maybe he you know maybe she was more qualified but still but still it's interesting that you know he he's been doing this evidently for a a good number of years uh-huh and but it's unusual i i know one uh gal that's she's a CPA and her husband is a house husband uh-huh yeah i and then they had a child and he he still was the house husband he's the one that was going to oh he was even before they had children uh-huh even before that right oh now that that really is she was a little perturbed about it at one time i don't know how she's moved away i don't know how it is now but i know uh oh she was uh-huh we're we all went out one evening and after work and uh she was there was an underlying note that she was perturbed about it uh-huh yeah i mean i think that would be it would it would strike one as strange if there's no reason for uh-huh somebody to stay home that i don't think there was a valid reason because her statement was yeah that's true i told him let's face it you're a house husband that's what your going that's what you'll always be but but yet you know we have to think about that because if if she had opted to stay home we wouldn't have thought anything strange she wouldn't have been that's right uh-huh that's right it would so so we're carrying our own prejudice it wouldn't have been a downer uh-huh that's true yeah oh gee i guess we can't win huh-uh oh because yeah if if somebody does it and breaks tradition you're surprised but that's right oh dear so so i think maybe more men would like to be if they weren't put down so badly if they could get away with it oh dear you know well i mean it it's an interesting topic yet i must say it's not one that i've given a great deal of of thought to but um huh-uh no i don't in the past it's um one of those things that you know seems to happen how do you feel your career has gone i don't i don't feel for the most part that i've been discriminated against you don't that's good no i was a department chairman i don't but i don't like administration oh so then i'm uh uh probably a poor example although you know i was an administrator and could still be i suppose uh-huh uh-huh i was discriminated against very definitely in banking uh-huh it was terrible oh really you were you were more ambitious than they would let you be right and the money didn't go with the positions yeah yeah well i would the promotion promotions came but there were there wasn't comparable pay for the responsibility and i was told you don't need as much pay as i have because your children are older than my children or your husband has a good job and uh oh jeez yeah actually in a since i suppose when i was hired into the government um at i was taken advantage of and and that's true that you know sometimes other people get get higher increments i think uh-huh for you know even i think we are programmed to just take it as it comes right right that's probably true i hadn't i hadn't thought about it because i do like what i do and i just sort of ignore the administrative part of it since i didn't like it when when i had to do it uh-huh uh-huh so i i figure you know nobody must uh nobody must like it it must be a rotten job for everybody but i know some people thrive on it oh gee well since i don't have a whole lot more to say on the topic i don't so i personally uh do consider the Soviet Union a threat i i i think that although there's been some fundamental changes and that there's uh uh the uh the mood for change that there's a lot of change left to happen and that there's still uh communism which is fundamentally opposed to democracy and there's still missiles um-hum yeah yeah well i mean that's that's certainly true i guess i'm i'm confused uh by what it means to be a threat to the United States and so i'm not sure i even recognize the United States as anything to be threatened um oh really the uh i guess the main issue is is that it it seems to me that the Soviet Union is breaking up into it's own internal problems yes um and it would certainly be nice if the various um republics seceded on the other hand i also think it would be very nice if the various states in our union seceded uh but that's beside the point uh right and it's much less than clear to me that as a military power um there's going to be anything left uh given that anything like that happens right uh they've got enough problems keeping their own people happy to worry about you know nuking other people who aren't bothering them right well i guess that that that brings up a question is it their i think in in the long term we could see a a situation where there are in incredible civil wars and that the the structure of the country breaks down and there's strife and much much death um-hum but until that happens between between now and then there's a lot of other uh events that could happen including a resurgence of communism with uh violent uh backlash against democracy which which is where we could be in threatened i guess you'd say i guess i'm communist why is why is communism antiethical to democracy i can understand why it's antiethical to capitalism i'm sorry you you're right i'm am meaning to say capitalism okay uh all right but we've already got a lot of anticapitalism in this country yes that's true uh-huh um but not necessarily enough from the Soviet Union's people's point of view that could be that could be i yeah uh but certainly the latest rumors in Congress right now is let's soak the rich some more so we can spread out the money yeah and that's certainly communism as far as i can tell right uh so um you know they might be perfectly happy to sit back and wait for it to happen that's right um and they so so i guess since the primary question is whether or not it's a military problem that's less than clear to me i mean if they're smart they're just going to let us head toward communism on our own very merry way that's right and there seems to be enough people in our country who are happy to do that sort of thing because they think they'd get more out of it that way right um-hum um so from that point of view i don't consider them a threat i see i don't think they're going to you know somehow import communism to us i i agree with that i don't believe that will happen the um well one thing that's current of interest is is if the Soviet Union's structure does break down and there is civil war at the end of those civil wars or during those civil wars in whose hands will those missiles be um-hum right and there are a lot of them uh scattered throughout the many many republics that's true that's that can be a frightening thought right almost a terroristic thought um yep yep you know come help us or we'll bomb you yeah um of course that's not a good way to win friends but yeah i mean i i think there's also the whole third world issue uh with him that's with uh the Soviet Union having um supported uh Iraq right uh previously and and so there there's a whole lot of political possibilities um but you know just just to put this in perspective i mean George Bush was recently in the hospital and so for a moment Dan Quayle might have been uh having his finger on the trigger and God knows what that would have done uh that's right i know it's almost amazing how little you hear about Dan Quayle and when you do it's usually totally yeah it's a joke yeah yeah he still wants to send people to Mars right the guy's uh lame lame lame lame to say the least yeah oh well so that's uh what what's going to be real interesting is if when they have the next presidential elections um-hum if Bush is going to run with Quayle again yeah or if he's going to run with someone else which i think would be uh i wonder if that's if there's precedent for that where uh there's uh same president but a different vice president uh i think so i can't think off hand who is it but without something like death or impeachment yeah i i i can't recall i mean i just can't imagine voting for anybody that has Quayle on their ticket yeah that's right i guess in the last elections it was it was the lesser of several evils but from the right and also he was basically unknown so i mean you're just like okay so it's it's Bush and somebody else yeah that's right yeah oh well so let's see back to the that key issue uh um-hum the the other part of the question was what would uh what would have to happen to convince me right right and i'd say seems to me uh that the missiles are the threat um-hum and so what would have to happen is a complete disarmament um-hum uh and uh that's i you know i'd love to see that happen but i doubt it's going to happen in the next fifty years you don't think so i don't no personally i i i really as i said i would really love to see it happen but i just i just i can't see them maintaining the missile bases in fact i think if the Soviet government starts retreating you know because of these civil wars and stuff the first thing they're going to do is close down the mi ssile bases in the republics um-hum oh under the fear because they're not going to want them to fall into the Republic's hands i see under the fear that that uh Moscow Moscow gets bombed first that's a good point that's a very good point in fact might be used against them that's right and so i think just from that there's going to be some limited amounts of disarmament they'll still be republics with the missiles the ones that are under the firmer control of the of the Soviets right uh but certainly you know like Lithuania and stuff i think would lose the irs yes i see that's a good great point okay well so so it was good talking to you yeah it was nice talking to you too Brian good day bye-bye okeydoke bye are you still there okay it worked that time okay yes okay well we just ate out um had a big lunch actually because we both have been working late and we had Italian um have you ever been to the Olive Garden no i haven't is that good it yeah well do you really like Italian food it's it's not my favorite but i like it okay then don't then then this'll probably be i mean this isn't really excellent Italian food that sounds terrible to tell you go go somewhere where it's not that great but it's um uh-huh you're not going to believe this i have to tell you this if i don't because you're in Plano that that's okay but my um unit here is acting like he's dying of tramane poison it wasn't that bad actually it's very good it's all the um for for run adult males uh-huh which i'm not Italian no it's uh it's all the garlic bread and all the uh salads you can eat with uh an entree oh oh oh that sounds really good so it wasn't too bad it really wasn't but i was more in the mood for French toast anyway so yeah yeah but i really like Italian food though but do you have any favorite well are there just the two of you uh yes uh-huh okay well when my husband and i go out we have four children so that makes a difference for us when we go out with the kids obviously we want to go somewhere that we can the fast food ones are probably the ones they like the best oh you're kidding oh sure but we don't like to go there because that's the most expensive so we like to go to a pizza place where you can buy a pizza for one price and and feed the whole family like that yeah and you can usually get a variety of what you're looking for like at Gatti's or something like that right right but when my husband and i go out we like to go somewhere with a little atmosphere and we usually head on down um oh what's the freeway down here uh six thirty five uh-huh yeah and there are um all along that that freeway there are are restaurants but one of our favorites is Pappasito's oh yeah Pappasito's we went there on my birthday in March it's great no we love to go there yeah you know it always kills me because i don't like the the decorations so much it's too too much like a bar naturally and Mexico yeah i know i've seen it yeah but i love the food i love the food they just are great the food is probably i'm not a i'm i'm not a Mexican food gourmet by any means but it's probably the best tasting i i don't know if it would you classify that as Tex-Mex yeah um-hum um the shredded beef the the type of spices or sauces they use yeah uh-huh i like to get uh uh a shrimp uh it's a shrimp dish and i don't remember the name of it but it's rolled up into into something and it oh it's really good that's good every every really uh-huh i've never had anything there that wasn't delicious even yeah they really good even though you have to stand in line and all that that's the only thing i don't like about it too it's a little bit with the the meat market atmosphere you know even though we don't have kids we've been married long enough to um be around not to be around that yeah yeah yeah um i'm trying to think of what else we like to eat the one thing i notice it's it's just um about dining out that you probably can relate to with four children and two of us getting ready to adopt i mean we find it prohibited just the cost anymore um-hum yeah um i mean lunch today was eighteen dollars yeah it's very expensive yeah and i don't know how you feel about that but i think some of it's over priced yeah yeah that's true i'm glad i'm talking about food normally these conversations are sometimes it's hard isn't it to keep a yeah it is i don't know um no sometimes Mark and i that's my husband Mark uh go to the August Moon which is down there it's a Chinese uh restaurant with the lions in the front um-hum uh-huh oh yeah my husband likes that yeah off of Arapaho down there yeah August Moon uh-huh yeah and uh it's pretty good as far as Chinese food goes but uh Chinese isn't my favorite so i don't like it at all usually so but he likes it kind of so he says that's a good place now me i'm i'm like i said seafood i'm i like that yeah i love seafood and i i like a lot of different ethnic foods i like Japanese food there's a place on Greenville um called Sagar's uh um well we haven't been in years down near Presby and i had a meeting down there today and i saw that and i i said gee i remember that they offer you um authentic Japanese feeding or American or piano bar ooh and i remember when we went we were married with another couple that was just dating and um i had never had sake it made all the raw fish taste great uh-huh uh-huh but if you're ever looking for a very uh it's very pretty inside and the girls wear kimonos and you know if you're ever looking for that um but what other kind of foods gee i don't know um we went to a place called Grishman's in Greenville is it oh how nice yeah which was really over priced i don't know that's was it um-hum but great desert bar um that's what we need isn't it no there's lots of nice barbecue places here now i like barbecue okay Texas barbecue and that's good yeah yeah i like barbecue have you ever been to the i think it's called Spring Creek Barbecue yeah they have pretty good food yeah yeah now they're real good yeah they're good there had oh and my husband's going upstairs and he said and free ice cream i didn't know they had that oh i can't talk i had chocolate Bavarian tort for desert today which i never eat at lunch and it was wonderful yeah yeah free ice cream yeah oh is to die for i bet ooh it was yeah in fact if i could pick my um restaurants on how their coffee is and how their French bread is and the butter and the desert i would be in heaven yes i would be in hog heaven and how are your kids at an age where they can contribute to what they want or do you still order for them or well my two littlest i just had a baby and she's six months and then my four year old he he still but my other two older two they can so they're they're they're oh congratulations uh-huh they're kind of my my littlest girl she's still like wants McDonald's McDonald's McDonald's yeah everybody every child that i even know that eats vegetables um below below five years old still after a certain age realize that there is something called McDonald's oh i'm telling you it's really sad isn't it because it's hard to get them away from junk then well it's kind of funny is sometimes we're like we all want different things and so there's a Fifteenth Avenue down here um-hum um-hum i know where that yeah and along that street are all these fast food restaurants so we all get to go to our own little thing and drive through and get our own thing and then we go to a park over there so we can all have our own that's on the nights we can't decide right that's all um-hum well that's all right as long as that i was going to say because with six people how do you um with two we have a problem i mean i can't even imagine you know trying to uh you sound like you're doing pretty well there with four children well i love them they're good kids that's the way to yeah well we're getting ready to i shouldn't say this on this conversation but it's just on my mind we're getting ready to go overseas to adopt so oh how nice yeah we're excited it'll be neat i think it'll be worth it and somebody said to me in terms of this is food so i can say this but they said you have to bring the formula and i said what's that oh they laughed and i said well you know uh food's food i'm thirty something and i and i said is that what makes them drool anyway you know i guess it are you is it a little bit constricted because a lot of restaurants don't take in terms of talking about restaurants i mean are a lot of restaurants yeah yeah yeah how are they when you have children let alone three or four children you have to be careful if you go to a a restaurant that that really is more adult you know with the atmosphere and everything they if you're like we could probably take our oldest son and our oldest daughter uh-huh sure um-hum um-hum and they know how to act i don't i don't think i'd chance it with my younger ones because they're just too much of a distraction and some restaurants are really trying to go for that atmosphere kind of thing and yeah the yuppie kind of crowd yeah yeah i just i just i've been in some places where they say they take children and then i've just seen where the wait attendance the wait staff is rude you know and that always just bothered me um what yeah so yeah on the other hand sometimes the children or the adults are themselves i don't know what other kind of restaurants really Pappasito's we love um we went to one Italian back on the Italian we went to some place across from Collin Creek Mall yeah yeah it was absolutely putrid for Italian food i can't remember the name of it it's on um oh is it Tia's not Tia's um i can't yeah no that's Mexican um it's right across from on the Dillard's side there or Folley's yeah i know which one it is and i can't think of it i can't it's in the strip yeah and it it had white tablecloth i think it was like paper where you could write on them or something with crayons and it was just terrible yeah oh dear i mean i was shocked i mean the dish was dirty um it's one of those ones you have a bad experience and say i don't think i'll come back here yeah where you felt like you were right like you're in a bad part of Italy Italy or something yeah oh dear oh um boy but other than that i don't know we we do our share of pizza eating too but it's more like uh go get it and carry it in because we're too cheap to pay the delivery and i don't like strange people coming to my door um oh yeah yeah yeah well i i've about said what what what my favorites were and i can't really think of any other uh me too no except it just makes me fat no i'm just kidding but you can places uh yeah you have to watch it if you go out to eat that's true yeah that's true but you can always blame it on having children no yeah yeah there you go well i enjoyed talking to you and i guess you know well good luck maybe we'll see you in the restaurants somewhere okay uh-huh bye bye-bye yeah maybe okay bye-bye well Kathleen do you believe that there is a problem with our public school system i certainly do i think and what do you think that problem is i think we have a lousy school system and i think a lot of it has to do with the fact that we don't train our teachers very well and then we put the schools in the hands of professional educators instead of the teachers and the parents and then oh we don't uh we put too much uh responsibility on the teachers for things that are really not education they're social services hm that seems like you've thought this through quite a bit before well i as a matter of fact i just finished editing a book on the topic so i have some rather strong opinions that's interesting do you uh yourself and and i'm sure they're colored by what i've edited do you self have children with who are or have been through the public school system yes i do and i was not very happy with the results i see so if you were to improve it what would you do to improve it well i think i would start with uh about with getting rid of about two thirds of the administrators uh-huh and all the auxiliary personnel the school bureaucracy that exists mainly to perpetuate itself right and then i would provide uh use the money that we've been paying them to uh provide some special help in training and particularly uh mentor teachers um-hum to work with the beginning teachers and the teachers who may have been at it a long time but have been making the same mistakes for a long time sure sure and then let them try some innovative things and see what works and then uh have some sort of mechanism for passing that knowledge along to other teachers who could benefit from the same sorts of things uh-huh um-hum and then from the parents side have the parents support the school get involved pay attention to what's happening talk to the teachers uh talk to their kids about school and support the institution and a instead of becoming adversaries to the teachers so that the uh the teacher's in the middle um-hum that's uh some pretty good ideas why don't you do something with those well i've done about all i can do which is get the manuscript in good shape so that it can be published and read by a lot of people uh-huh well you should uh run for a school board position oh well that i'm not so sure about i've got a lot of things to keep me busy uh-huh that's have you done anything like that anything political well my mother was on the school board um-hum as we were coming up and uh that basically is the extent to which our our family has been directly you know they've always been involved my parents through the the PTA organization and my mother was on the school board for eight years um-hum but uh that was that's the extent of which i guess that's more than than some people less than others that's more than a lot i would uh tend to agree with you that there is a problem the methods of correcting it i haven't thought through it quite to the detail which you have but i believe that there's definitely a basic perception and image problem with the fact of even being a teacher um-hum and if there was a way to through the public mind set that image to be a little higher esteem a little uh uh a little more prestige to being a teacher and with that of course you know you have to pay them a accordingly if we paid them more it would attract more the the higher educated people to to either move into that field or to continue in that field yeah and then if you paid them more you'd also be able to demand a higher quality product out of them i think that's absolutely right they the thing that worries me about that is that if you just raise salaries across the board you're going to be uh rewarding people who've been doing a lousy job and instead of getting the uh improvement that we want so we'd have to have some way to sure sure uh reward and recognize the teachers who are doing a good job and give them uh a pat on the back and respect and some honor and more money it unfortunately it's a and it's a business or an occupation that the results are not as tangible um-hum yeah it's hard to tell as other ones so it's very it's very difficult to say that this teacher is doing a better job than this other one other than i guess how you know how a person scores in the beginning before the class and then after the class you know if there's some gauge that they could make yeah uh also i've always i've thought around about the idea of making teaching and the before you can get a certificate you have a a certain residency period so much like a doctor maybe not the four years definitely but some certain type of of position where you're overseen to begin with yeah now that's a very good suggestion uh just something to i rather than throw someone in into that environment uh you know it yeah i don't think i thought that maybe something student i don't think student teaching is enough i think that at least what i used to observe in student teaching was that uh-huh some college kid who might not be all that bright to begin with was thrown into a classroom with a teacher who was harried and overworked and uh had too many kids to handle and too many things to do and too many interruptions right to pay much attention to the student teacher and then the student teacher didn't stay but about six weeks um-hum so there really was no time to try much of anything and get significant feedback that would help the the student teacher improve very much sure there are lots of things that could be done in that line including things like videotaping because it wouldn't be hard sure with all the electronic equipment that's around these days to videotape uh either a master teacher teaching a class so that then students could watch that and uh criticize the methods used and and analyze it figure out what worked and what didn't work um-hum and then also to videotape the student teachers so they could correct their own performance sure sure that's good as a a a teaching aid but more you see these commercials that have Jimmy walking into class late and it happens that the teacher is an instructor who is in New York while Jimmy's in Rome and you know the whole electronic classroom idea um i don't know if i i'm in favor yeah in favor of yeah i think especially in the younger years you need to have more of the the person contact rather than just the fact that your machine being fed information to to learn how to learn i don't think that's going to work yeah well another thing i think would be helpful would be to have some sort of uh say a national curriculum because one of the problems with getting good textbooks is that we have such a fragmented system for uh curriculums that the textbook makers produce a textbook that will sell in Texas and California and then everybody else is stuck with that regardless of what they want to teach huh is that because that's where the two biggest markets are or because it well that's the two states that adopt on a statewide basis i see uh and so it uh i used to work for a textbook publisher and it was absolutely clear that if you could get your book adopted by Texas then you had a built-in market because there were only about three or four textbooks in each subject and all you had to do is just get your share of those adopted in the individual school districts um-hum hum and you know a third of the Texas market with its millions of kids is a heck of a lot of textbooks sure sure and then the states that either don't adopt on a statewide basis or don't have as many kids just have to follow along and take what Texas gets right like with California is the biggest for elementary schools but Texas uh adopts statewide all the way through the twelfth grade i see well definitely is a a national problem if they need to address yep sure is definitely is and i hope maybe we're going to get somewhere with a little more attention being paid to it with uh Reagan's uh new education secretary and uh you know trying to do some uh trying to produce some new programs anyway right right well i've enjoyed speaking with you excuse me i have got to go i've got another line calling thanks bye all righty good-bye okay uh as far as you know crime in the cities i'm sure it like in yours it's pretty pretty bad uh probably the biggest thing we've got going now is the robberies and theft and probably murder are the two top ones that we have how about you um-hum uh well i don't actually live in the city but uh i'd probably say that's roughly right i mean crimes against property seem to outnumber crimes against life but i i think with the current war on drugs and all this kind of stuff i'd say probably the police department would claim the number one crimes crimes are probably solicitation of prostitution um and sale of drugs um-hum probably probably right if you look at it from that stand point um-hum what uh is there anything that uh that you particularly are concerned with in in your particular area as far as security and that sort of thing uh where i live no it's it's not so bad i mean i can basically leave my front door unlocked and not have to worry about it um but i do have friends who live in the city and i think that they get a lot of fallout from this war on drug thing um just because there are like crack houses you know on their street and stuff like this um-hum do you live in a real small town or or out in the country i live out in the country yeah how far out from the city i mean do you i am about fifteen miles out about fifteen miles i live in a little suburb uh which is i guess from Dallas is twelve miles or so um-hum but it's pretty congested we are considered in the country but it doesn't really feel like you're in the country our major crimes in our immediate hm hm town uh is probably robberies house robberies um-hum and very few instances of you know alcohol drug uh reported however i'm sure they're there um-hum but uh right now our neighborhood is running about uh eighty percent of the homeowners have been robbed sometime during their their uh existence in that neighborhood wow that's huge and since that time everybody's gotten some sort of burglar system or you know uh burglar alarms um-hum uh and including the out uh the outer perimeter type uh devices the sensors and things like that it's cut back um-hum you know considerably but it it just shifts it from our neighborhood to another neighborhood to another neighborhood so it still uh remains city wide pretty pretty high are they are there any theories on why this is happening uh i would say the majority of it's happening during the day uh between probably ten in the morning and three in the afternoon um-hum but why why is it happening most well most families most families they are young and both people are working so they're happening during the hours they're gone from work uh so uh um-hum um-hum i would say that's probably their prime motivation they'll stalk they'll stalk your house and uh look at your pattern and then go from there so they're professionals um they classify most of them as professionals uh you get a few of them that are a little bit sloppier uh just taking uh you know just junk items that they they can just get you know ten to twenty bucks for real quick hm um-hum probably the biggest items that uh that you get in our neighborhood or would be the high classed automobiles Mercedes Volvos things that they can get you know big dollars for uh jewelry um-hum are the major targets guns that sort of stuff hm very few you know penny penny ante stuff well what do you think can be done to reduce that sort of crime well uh the police force for one i think they could uh definitely add to the police force and the type equipment that they use uh it's oh right now i think we're about thirty thousand people and there's only eight officers that patrol for thirty for that amount of people which is not very many and um-hum um-hum right but that mean that's gonna tend to i mean it seems to me that sort of approach will tend to simply make the cost of committing the crime slightly higher in other words you've increased the probability of somebody being caught a little bit the real question is how do you convince people not to commit such crimes in the first place well the course in our particular state uh we have the prison overcrowding whatever so they're giving the early release uh right they're doing that in our state too yeah and and it's i think what they need to do is stop building more jails and start giving stiffer sentences uh but for the that would be certainly be a deterrent so you think that would be a deterrent um-hum and uh not necessarily you know uh give in to their uh human rights desires you know if they're overcrowded just keep cramming them in there till they just suffocate uh well what about an innocent person who happens to have been found guilty uh i think they'd have to go to extra measures to make sure a person's guilty you know in a lot of cases course i i know you can't be a hundred percent foolproof uh right so you'd you'd rather see it harder to convict somebody i'd rather see it a little bit harder and have a little bit more evidence uh to convict somebody and then those convicted especially of you know murder and and uh you know major crimes uh um-hum um-hum to reach the life sentences and you know death penalties and follow-through with that uh hm especially you you know in the case of murder uh i know in my case i had my wife and daughter were kidnapped during a house robbery back in eighty five and we caught the individuals got caught we uh right oh wow oh my goodness um-hum we went through the court system and all that sort of thing and uh you know two counts of kidnapping uh you know the the forty five to the head you know just the the mental anguish and the whole nine yards um-hum right uh you know the the guy only got five years and you know he was out within two months because of the parole system so what what wow did you did you sue him under the civil system do what now did you sue him under the civil system no no i'm not real familiar with that well you probably sue him for mental anguish or something right and try to get money from him and oh well the insurance companies and all that tried to tried to go after him and they said well you know he they're he has no job he has nothing there's nothing that he has that that you could go after yeah makes you wish they had uh still had indentured servitude for this sort of thing yeah uh very seldom but they give give the guy a job in prison and make him pay his damn debt yeah they don't do that here course they pay them but they don't you don't you or the insurance companies never see any of that money yeah that's too bad and uh you know and they're right now they're reluctant to go after them because they're you know they're they're repeat offenders they uh they've bee n in jail before they've been released you know several times which is another um-hum um-hum um-hum uh deal i hate to see but uh you know basically the guy commits you know three major crimes and uh and car theft on top of it and destroys my car he we're out you know uh you know um-hum yeah i i think that's a yeah yeah that's awful fifteen thousand dollars and you know the guy gets out in two months and he goes out and commits it again fact he's back in jail now so what what uh gives you sympathy for the vigilantes just yeah what what deterrent does he really have yeah and i think in our in our particular neighborhood vigilantism is becoming a real real possibility uh we've had a couple instances where break-ins where the the people have actually you know um-hum shot the people and uh return offenders have oh my God and uh return offenders have they've actually waited for them where they've robbed you know particular neighborhood they'll rob one house then other people will wait up you know and wait for somebody to do something else and try to take it in their own hands course it doesn't always work out in their favor hm right but uh nevertheless i think people are just getting fed up and saying you know you can't arrest all of us you can you know you can get some of us you can't get all of us right um-hum uh and we're beginning to see more and more of that i mean that sounds that's a deterrent too if you think the home owner might be armed right and awake hear you break in and you're gonna get shot yeah yeah that's i mean that's certainly a a possibility and and we have had a a few cases where the guy has broken in you know during the middle of the night and gotten himself shot to death um-hum and uh it helps for a while but then just another different set of people come in and most of the people are transients from out outside of the state um-hum hm uh i would say probably eighty percent of them that are caught they're from places like up in Oklahoma and Louisiana Arkansas you know across the the border wow so you know people who don't readily read the newspapers in our town or whatever it's not many from the local communities but uh um-hum um-hum it's a problem and i i just i think that the court systems need to be more accurate in in stiffer in their penalties would be a definite deterrent and yeah yeah and uh giving the uh police uh agencies a little bit more jurisdiction over what they do when they when they catch these people um-hum i mean i i tend to agree with you i think uh what i would like to see is number one completely getting rid of these victimless crimes um there's no reason to enforce those and spend time and money doing it right and and worry about these things where people are getting hurt and i think one of the big things that you can do is to increase deterrence is um if someone is found guilty of a uh felony level offense they lose their citizenship and they lose their constitutional rights um-hum you know and just a lot of things that we're trying to worry about you know protecting these people from we just don't protect them i know like in my wife's case they made her feel like the criminal they they went to all all i know and i think i think that's ridiculous gun control seems to be a rather um timely topic with all that's going on legislation wise yes and uh the the interesting scale that they assigned it uh the one being a banned and ten being no regulations or totally free i'd have to put myself pretty much in the middle i guess i i don't mind regulating all of the the guns and i would certainly call for a ban on certain types now the the wisdom as to which types that's gonna be a debate forever i would assume uh the method of of controlling it well that's all into how much money you wanna put into the the controls um one point that was made in the house hearings or the the representative who stood up and said that uh you know we can check a guy's credit card instantly but uh we don't wanna check his background and of course those are two different issues as far as privacy goes uh but there's still the the technology exists to to check it if they want hm right so it's it's it's kind of a uh i guess you got to put a dollar figure on it if you really wanna make that kind of an effort and regulate it like that and then you've got the group the people that decide that there's there's no particular reason to have them at all and you got to balance those against the ones that say there is some sport to it and i guess i would fall more in the the realm that i like the sport issue of it but i i could give it up without too much trouble it's not the world's most pleasurable thing and it costs a bit to do it uh finding ranges and things like that um i have shot a variety of guns for a number of years but it's just it's not yes right like golf or whatever i mean there are other things that you could go do so uh i i don't see the the joy of shooting is is that much of a driving factor i think uh society could easily swing the scales the other direction just for the sake of safety so the number of kids that tend to get hurt i don't even keep the gun in our house so uh we don't have that problem but uh it's it's a hard hard topic i guess for a lot of people have a lot of hard issue a lot of hard feelings about it yes right they do and you boy you can get them on either side and just like you say uh well i think i i guess i'd have to place myself uh uh probably seven or eight because or not wait wait onto no control i'm sorry uh excuse me that uh uh two or three um-hum uh i was going the wrong direction um because of we had a neighbor child that was killed by another child um-hum because they had a gun in the house and the the father kept the bullets in a separate place but the little boy was five years old and was so intelligent enough to uh he knew where booth both places were loaded the gun and they were playing cowboys and Indians and he shot the other little boy right between the eyes boy so uh i mean it it destroyed two families uh in just that instant and and i a lot of people say that they need it for protection uh having right worked at one time in Baltimore or i don't know if you're in a big city are you Dallas yeah that's a big city um then you know that uh uh Dallas um-hum yeah if you live anywhere real close that uh the safety is uh some people argue that they need a gun to make sure that they aren't going to get shot because of the incidences of break-ins and you know but uh uh we have never had a gun in the house with my children growing up uh i um uh once uh uh knew a fellow that had had been a policeman and he said that if you pull a gun on a robber he's going to assume that you know how to use it well and he's going to you know try to shoot first uh so you know if he's got one um and if not um right then usually they uh if he's got a knife or whatever they could throw it at you i mean you know they he he said that it it's better not to have especially myself now i'm a widow and uh i so i'm right uh when my handicapped son is is not at home i'm by myself but uh there's i still won't have a gun in the house because he said it's it's really um playing Russian Roulette if you do uh yeah about the only circumstances that they'd be of any value is when you happen to already know that the the person was coming your way if once you're surprised it's too late and and the rare circumstances you know the very few of those burglaries actually occur in such a way that you knew the guy was coming and had time to do anything about it that's right that's right right that's right and i don't have that problem is i don't use that argument as saying it's worth keeping one and the uh NRA's um claim that the uh the constitutional and the right to bear arms and that whole statement uh it's hard to know the original intent but i i don't see it as that that difficult of a story to believe when the opposition says that uh yeah its the right to to arm a militia and as opposed to just the general public and you have a right you have a earn a right not just a privilege as it were if you were gonna serve in the militia then you have a right to have that arm but uh or you know there's all sorts of arguments there but i don't even worry about that's right i know the what the original intent was they didn't have this problem back then so we we change our rights with our social status they're man given rights and they can be taken away by a man so no no that's true that that's that's right that's right right uh the people that hide behind that i don't worry about they can go live in another country if they want well the yeah that's how i feel too i know well even even here where i work uh we have uh a gun club and of course those people are very avid they you know they say there should be no ban that it's not but i can't see why any uh on on the street citizen should be able allowed to be allowed to have a machine gun um-hum right uh you know when you were talking about maybe what kind of guns it would be hard to decide but there are a few guns that uh just are not uh sport or i mean i don't know too many people that use a machine gun to go sport hunting either so um uh i i think they should have at least some control over over those things um when and when you were speaking about they can check up right you know on credit cards well i i understand about the privacy act and everything but why can't they check to see if the person who is applying for this gun has had a record or not that to me would not be an unreasonable thing and if they do course right the argument with the people in the gun club um is that uh well the people that are going to get guns are the ones who are going to steal them anyway right and so it's not gonna be that they're buying them course some of them do yeah so it it it is a hard question tends to tends to strap only the legitimate people most regulation does most it's very difficult to uh legislate uh right oh yeah crooks or whatever you wanna however you wanna word it so it's well this may be a never ending topic i got a couple of calls waiting on me so i better let you go that's right okay well thanks for talking bye-bye now okay bye okay so do you enjoy camping i used to love camping but since we've got two little kids our camping styles have changed dramatically yeah well we've tried to go camping with them and the last time it wound up with my husband the only one that couldn't stand them left in the tent because the kids wouldn't calm down they wouldn't go to sleep they were crawling all over us they thought it was just party time all night long you know yeah we really haven't tried camping with with our daughter yet we we'd like to now she's getting a little bit older she'd enjoy it yeah yeah but uh i used to i was in Boy Scouts all through college and everything else so i was involved in a lot of camping you know when i was younger but oh boy so you're an old hand at it yeah even my desires for camping have changed uh used to be from roughing it and sleeping outside to now to to tents and motor homes and things like that yeah yeah i like cabins they're real nice also i've found that when we've gone camping we've had some bad experiences sometimes when you even have seem to have uh so you know tent sites that are a little bit off the beaten path but there's a cluster of them and we wound up with people like you know four feet away from us that are just bombed out of their minds or something all night long partying and that's not my idea of going out you know and being with nature so yeah plus nowadays you just have to worry about being where you don't can't get behind locked doors even because you know somebody come up and knock you in the head in the middle of the night or you heck you never know oh yeah it's frightening yeah yeah but uh you know if i if i can get way way up you know way up in the mountains or you know way out someplace i probably be a little bit uh you know less concerned but uh yeah we went to Yosemite and um we went we got a little cabin there and that was really nice but uh someplace like that where you like you say you can get way out in the middle of nowhere you know where you can really be away from civilization i i would feel safer there than i would some of these little uh tent site areas you know uh-huh yeah i wouldn't mind i know my brothers he's a big camper uh backpacker and everything and i i'd like to try that sometime with him where they they actually just take the sleeping bags and whatever food they they hike in someplace you know up to you know ten fifteen miles and then they they um-hum oh wow oh my goodness my body can't handle that anymore i want a queen size air bed you know to go in the tent or something they yeah yeah really and truly that's that's that's more desirable course with my wife and daughter you know any kind of outing is is would be good just to get away and do it uh yeah yeah i found a problem here too since we moved to Texas three years ago i was feeling like there's places with without fire ants or that aren't like all summer long it's so hot i you know i don't want to be out there when it's a hundred and ten degrees out trying to sleep well that's the thing there's really only a few months that you can really get out and really do anything and uh yeah and it's so wet in the early part of it and you know unless you know like i say unless you have a trailer or motor home and that and that's really what i would like to do someday i'd like to be able to afford a a trailer uh yeah yeah you know not a real big one but just something that that would have you know air-conditioning and a and an icebox and stuff like that so you can you can feel you can feel like you're outside but yet you know have a few conveniences contained yeah yeah yeah i can relate to that uh but uh you know we had some friends invite us to go to a place on a couple weeks that's uh four miles of dirt road and they have a trailer that they keep permanently there a little travel trailer and they said we could just camp out but with a two year old and a three year old three days without running water without the toilets i mean that's a little tough i can't imagine you know the diapers after three days forget it yeah that's that's a little extreme i yeah so you know i think we'll pass on that one but but now you know uh i know we'd like to maybe you know Disneyworld has those little campsites out there where you can you can rent a trailer or you know pull one or whatever and that might be kind of fun you know to spend you know spend a week doing all that stuff oh really that'd be nice yeah yeah yeah that would be fun but i don't think uh my wife or my daughter are quite ready for you know hiking into a campsite and sleeping under the stars and all that kind of stuff cooking over a campfire you know yeah i'm not sure i'm up to it either really yeah fishing and then going and you know eating what you caught and all that good stuff huh when i was younger i used to love doing that king of stuff it was a challenge you know because you were with a bunch of other guys and you know you it was almost a competition but yeah nowadays i don't care yeah give me the Ramada Inn yeah yeah yeah well i can understand that well we we'll have to get more supplies too i mean that's why it would be hard for me to imagine backpacking in because it seems like our car's just totally loaded down with everything we have to go camping it's like well of course you know you've got uh you got a whole different set of problems you still you know you need a stroller and yeah my well my husband said next time we go camping with the kids we're just going to strap them in their car seats at ten o'clock at night and then we'll go back to the tent they'll fall asleep and we'll be able to enjoy nature yeah uh-huh that's about right oh i remember just like when we traveled you you end up carrying everything uh everything that you own just about to you know take care of the baby uh yeah it seems like it we need a van or something to get i mean even with if we take the dog forget it there's no room for anything else yeah so yeah it's hard to do without the creature comforts sometimes but yeah i'm pretty rusty at it anyway i don't i don't know how i'd fare nowadays well last time we tried we bought a Coleman camp stove that was practically new at a garage sale for next to nothing and then we brought it home and tried one night to get it going and we could never get an even heat off of it so we need somebody you know with experience to go with us sometime or come over and show us how to get it you know going so well nowadays everything's so expensive i know like you know a good sleeping bag nowadays because like i you know all i've outgrown all that stuff and and it's been it's worn out anyway but to go out and buy a decent sleeping bag you know you're talking you know hundred dollars and yeah oh good grief and then then a you know a decent tent you're looking at a hundred fifty two hundred dollars and backpack all that kind of stuff i mean you could yeah you could stay really nicely at a spa somewhere for a week for what it would cost you to buy all that yeah exactly i mean by the time you get through outfitting yourself and then having to go sweat doing it uh you could you could go on a Club med uh everything inclusive vacati on really oh gee which i'd enjoy better anyway yeah well it but uh but i used to be a real good camper when i was younger i i mean i used to just we just you know carry canoes and and uh we used to hike all summer long we used to go up to New Mexico and and we would uh we would do nothing but hike and camp for three months oh that'd be fun oh gosh and uh you know wash your clothes wherever you are and you you really get used to the outdoors yeah yeah nowadays to for me to think even think about doing something like that i mean it's just kind of like no no not m e yeah it's amazing how when you get older you get smarter i guess i'd like to think that anyway people actually call that fun yeah i can't see that being really fun but yeah i guess i guess you know like i say if you know if you're going on a big hunting trip and you're going with two or three other guys that were good at it and that kind of stuff you know it might be okay for a few days yeah well they have these vacation packages i had a friend that went on where she went uh now what do they call it when you go down the rapids like in these rubber boats and stuff rafting or whatever yeah oh the white waters and she went oh gosh to Colorado or someplace and i mean they had like a a a gourmet chef that put you know the meal on for them wherever they tied up at night and i mean it was a whole different ball game wasn't like eating beef jerky or something yeah some of those things are pretty good yeah yeah some of those things would be okay yeah just expensive that would be a little probably a little drastic with kids but for you know two adults it it's rough enough yeah unless you just go and wear them out so badly that they'd collapse by the time they got off the raft they'd be wouldn't be any problem at all for the rest of the evening um oh boy boy i'd even i'd enjoy doing that myself yeah yeah that would be fun but everybody i everybody i've talked to that has done that they say after about three or four days of that uh-huh it takes them uh i mean they're sore for a week because you know you're all the tensing and the bouncing and everything else you use muscles you haven't used in years and oh really from all the bouncing yeah that's true and uh it you know that they end up staying home you know another three or four days when they get home just to recuperate from it oh gosh that's funny so i don't know but i you know like i said i used to enjoy camping but anymore you know just the whole atmosphere's changed you you don't you don't hear of many people that's taking their families and just going out go camping yeah yeah that's true you know now it's boating or or you know uh uh going on these uh uh white rapids or whatever the white water you know raft rides and stuff like that yeah yeah well i have you know hear like most of these people say things like going to you know Walt Disneyworld and stuff like that with their families it's more of a luxury kind of vacation than it is the the roughing it or whatever but yeah well they have that i had it's like a water country or something where they have this in the wilderness park it's close to it where you can take the kid and and kind of just let them go wild in that water country hum and uh you know and you and you kind of camp out and they got little little kitchens in the trailers and stuff but oh that sounds neat sounds like it sounds like it would be okay for a few days yeah yeah well maybe when ours get a little older and we really want to get elaborate we could do something like that but for right now they think it's a thrill to put put a pool in the backyard you know one of those little five foot KMart specials give them a glass of juice and boy they're ready for the afternoon you know yeah yeah yeah they are fun yeah little toots yep sometimes you know i i think it would be kind of neat maybe if she just wanted to get a little tent or something and you know once we get a fence in the backyard and uh and just let her camp out maybe until till yeah yeah just roast marshmallows and twelve or one o'clock in the morning till she gets scared and wants to come in you know how old is she she's six oh yeah but she yeah she she looks like she might be an outdoors person eventually but oh they both my wife and daughter take after each other they they get hot real easy and just being outside during the summertime they'll just pass out huh yeah and you know i i can go out and mow the grass and everything else and and stand it just fine and uh but my wife she's real hot natured She she would uh she just gets gets outside for five ten minutes and she's ready to come back in So i don't i don't think camping this time of year would i don't even think she'd think about it oh gosh yeah no no that doesn't sound too it would have to be November early December yeah when we were living in California people all the time went in the winter you know up in the mountains and stuff i don't know i can't see that either um south of San Francisco where in California oh yeah so that that was that's nice there because you do have some cool weather and some mountains in Sunnyvale yeah yeah oh yeah the weather's really nice and then you go you know you can go up in the mountains and it'll drop thirty degrees just on your drive up there so that's kind of i used to go to uh Fairfield um-hum um-hum and uh that's real pretty country up there yeah there's a lot of nice okay what do you think are some current trends in uh the way families spend time together based on what you've seen um i i think that it's getting to where they're not spending time together yeah um i think uh like in my situation today on a weekend when couples are supposed to spend time together my husband's been off doing his thing all day today and i've been off doing my thing all day and i haven't seen him since eight o'clock this morning really so uh are you newly married or um two years yeah yeah same same situation here i've been married about ten months so yeah i can i can i know what you mean it's it's really hard hard to find time to spend together when you both work full time and uh you both have hobbies that are different you know if you have hobbies that are the same then you know you can enjoy your hobby together but my husband and i have different hobbies yeah is he a hunter and a fisher and all that no no he's a record collector and a Hot Wheels collector that's wild that's wild um so he was off today uh looking at at records uh-huh so uh and i was off you know doing you know house household type things you know laundry and um did some shopping and stuff yeah um um from the people i've talked to i don't know if i should bring this into it but um a lot of the dads said that they would probably choose careers that are more um where they could manage their own schedule uh-huh and uh they could spend more time with their kids because they look back and you know they're all like um kind of regretful i think yeah i i think i think that would be the ideal situation i think that a lot of people like in my case i i do shift work uh-huh i don't i don't have that choice yeah same here um i have to be at work at at X hour you know at this at at a certain hour and i can't it's not flexible um it it would be nice to be able to have flexible hours and and maybe after we decide to have kids i i might find a job that has flexible hours i would i hope so anyway um but i would i don't know yeah that at TI is that where you work uh-huh it's really kind of sad some of the people that i work with they like when i worked on second shift um their parent their kids go to school during the day and then they wouldn't see them at night because they would be in you know at work and the kids are going to be in bed uh-huh and so it was kind of like they see their kids for fifteen minutes and the same with their spouses this relative may work even a weirder shift like weekends or something you know yeah so it was really sad just you know that a lot of families um have to well you know have to have dual income a lot of people choose to which is fine yeah but you know then the kids come to suffer yeah i ideally it would it would be nice to be able to just have like back in the old days you know back like when when i grew up uh-huh huh yeah you know the the mom stayed home you know and raised the kids my mom didn't go back to work until i was in junior high school yeah um so she was there pretty much all my you know formative years yeah and that was nice and i liked that and i would hope that i would be able to give that to my kids uh but i think with the way the future is um economy wise i don't think it's going to be realistic i know unfortunately that's probably true um do you think some the the parents spend quality time with their kids are do you think it's more like watching TV and stuff like that not really uh i yeah i i think that i think very few spend quality time i think most of the time the kids are usually off watching cartoons or playing video games or stuff stuff like that i think that um yeah um uh most most kids that i see don't really they don't really value quality time yeah it's always that way until until until they're older and then they look back until it's too late yeah it's true um what's what are some other questions they have i'm not sure i know my parents are growing up i guess they never spent much time watching TV in fact i've never seen my mom turn on the TV we didn't really have one very often oh really yeah and and they spent a lot of time like outside with us and stuff but you know my dad had his own business and it was easier for them to do that but i i don't know it was i guess i didn't realize what a luxury it was at the time yeah i i think kids now a days are raised on TV i mean that's that's almost like a surrogate TV is a surrogate parent yeah yeah that's a good way to put it and not a and not a very good one at that yeah pretty good way to put it if i had kids well if you had kids what kind of things do you hope to do um i i hope to of course be able to teach them right from wrong i hope i hope to be able to spend um their growing up years being in the home you know not having to work um and being able to do i i i know a lot of people who who um yeah um i work part-time also and i a lot of people that i work for are mothers that stay home uh-huh um and they they do a lot of volunteer work and they're real active in the community and um they do a lot of things with their kids that they wouldn't ordinarily be able to do if they were working uh-huh and i'd i'd like to be able to do that i'd like to be able to stay home and be able to spend time with my kids do volunteer work and be in clubs and stuff yeah i agree i hope that happens in my case yeah yeah but i think that's for the the few and far between i think that uh probably ninety percent of the of the um parents out there are are probably working parents yeah yeah huh and i i don't i don't really see that that trend changing much if anything i think there's going to be fewer and fewer uh single income families i know yeah and what's sad about that is day cares end up instilling values in your kids yeah that may not necessarily be consistent with yours exactly see i i never i don't even know what day care is really all about because i i never went to a day care center i never i never had that kind of experience yeah huh i well i don't even think we had i don't even remember them being around when we were little yeah i i see it seems like that's that's a big trend you know in the last ten years day cares have have have popped up and become a lot more um a lot bigger part of of the kids lives yeah it's like a home away from home for a lot of them sure is um well i guess we could ring this off since we we've exhausted all of our ideas we seem to agree yeah i i think yeah i think this is a good closing point yeah so well it was really nice talking to you yeah you too i wish you the best thanks you too um bye bye-bye okay thanks bye-bye my name is Diane i'm Cliff Penn hi well what's your favorite team i like the Chicago Bears well i uh don't have uh much much of a favorite team since the Cowboys haven't done much so i guess i'll just have to say the Cowboys the Cowboys well they haven't done much for they never did much even when Landry and Staubach were playing i'm being real sarcastic did you like them back then um oh yeah in fact most of the world liked them back then whether you did or not touch yes well when i moved here in the uh mid seventies um are you in Dallas yes so am i uh i just use to laugh because back then i was a Steelers fan i'm from originally from Pittsburgh yes um-hum um-hum and that was not the thing to be in Dallas when they their preseason games at the stadium you know where the Cowboys versus what do you think they're going to do this year yeah oh they may be a little better but uh they got a long way to go uh-huh in after Landry got the shaft he sure did that i agree with you on yeah what do you think of uh the guy who's coaching them now from Miami i can't remember his name off the top of my head i can picture his gray hair but well they all start with J so yeah he's Johnson right yeah yeah that's right well he's he's learned a little bit but the first year he was here he was playing college football and it was pretty simple stuff uh-huh are you a football fan uh by nature or is this something you grew into yeah i i in Texas uh football's the game instead of baseball that's true i agree with you there though at least it has a little more action than baseball yep um-hum yep well i don't know why i like the Bears but i do i just think they have some good players but well they've had some very good players and fact uh the best tight end in football is now their coach um-hum eighty nine yeah Mister Ditka well you can't say too much bad about him i mean he did learn his hone his trade under Landry well actually he was uh as as a coach he learned his trade under Landry but as uh as a player i remember seeing him as a young man that's what i meant fighting everybody off while he caught a pass on a tight end yeah the University of Pittsburgh well i was probably a little bit too young for that but um i know we just laugh now in terms of not specific teams but um we have company and one of the men got bored earlier this afternoon and he turned on the television and one of the ladies said what's you know what's the football game and i wasn't even aware i mean i knew it but i just i guess i kind of shut it out like most females yeah something right yeah the the World Football League is playing uh Frank uh playing in Germany i think i've forgotten where they are Germany and somebody that oh funny San Antonio and San Antonio has a team or something yeah Landry is down there over San Antonio now yeah oh you're kidding oh goodness are you that avid a fan that you would watch it regular uh year round no no i uh actually i haven't uh watched it as much since uh the Cowboys' demise as i used to i used to watch it every weekend but irregardless of who was playing whether it was Cowboys or not uh-huh yes it it seemed like it's up to about ten to twelve years ago i mean all the sports including football it used to seem uh before the higher ticket prices in terms of just not for fans but i mean what what the salaries some of the players were getting yeah yeah now that it's uh well i think a lot went out of it when they had the strike too yeah i mean i um i mean like i was just reading something in today's paper about Herschel Walker and i had to chuckle you know i mean you wonder what he really is i mean i really don't care but what happens to a player when they're sitting in their cars and they fall asleep because um they're so tired and the carbon they're overcome by carbon monoxide fumes yeah yeah that's hard to believe all right you know um but i think it's still healthy i mean i have a nephew that plays football and if that's what he wanted to do i certainly wouldn't tell his parents to encourage it but i think it's still an honorable sport yeah who do you think uh Chicago will have quarterbacking now i have no idea who is he who um the guy the young guy from uh Ohio State i think he's already over the hill isn't he oh i can't remember hum it seems like it i can't even remember his my mind went blank today it must be the heat um i don't know i just uh i actually like you know i was probably was like you were when the when Payton was big you know this is probably about five years after when everything was the America team but um i actually once Payton left i kind of just lost you know yeah he was a superstar all right yeah i kind of just lost um and i don't think Ditka's going to stay around much longer i don't know if he renewed a two year or not i think he's either in the middle of that or just did that yeah it seems seems like the spice has gone out of it for him yeah it's kind of you know i mean uh it's it's kind of like when the Cowboys the Bears and the Steelers went you know like i said about ten twelve years ago it seemed like football was really interesting the and it didn't matter who was playing it just it was worth watching yeah there yeah there were several really good teams in that time frame yeah yeah and it was competitive and it seemed a little cleaner i don't know um yeah i think it probably was the uh now then there's a lot of dirty stuff going on on the line that the that the referees don't call things get out of hand yeah and there's some technical stuff you know this Minicam stuff these instant replay things that uh i'm not sure that i would agree with some of it but i still think it's a good sport yeah well actually i think if they'd a had that technical replay technical uh bit where they replayed it at Dallas would've won two Super Bowls that they didn't win because of bad calls hum yeah um-hum some of those calls well i have to agree with you because i can remember um when they played the Dolphins and i saw Ditka take the touchdown and i remember there were one or two calls in that game i think it was in seventy was that seventy three or seventy two i can't i can't even go back that far anymore yeah yeah yeah there was one that uh supposedly uh uh fumble after a touchdown and uh um-hum the Cowboys theoretically lost it but uh they didn't really in fact the guy uh who had recovered who was supposed to have recovered it later admitted that he had uh um-hum so now i know after it had already crossed the the goal line in the other guy's hand he jerked it out of his hand so it was he admitted that he had done that after the fact but you could see it on camera when it happened but the officials couldn't see it yeah usually usually when that happens and i mean it always seems to go the way of the ref's call though it never seems to go the way of you know either the coach or somebody protesting um yeah but that's really i guess what i know about football the where do you work where do you work pardon me right now i'm not i'm a homemaker yeah yeah true you're a homemaker well that's work enough my my wife says that is plenty work enough domestic engineering domestic engineering there you go yeah it's um pardon domestic engineering right right i don't know i just really had to laugh today i mean the what the subject was when i placed this call when the subject was football because uh we had just had that on that that was uh you know wear year round and i said oh they've got to be kidding i just don't think financially they'll make a go of it and then my husband said to me well it was somebody from the Vikings uh Mike Lynn or somebody who um was one of the promoters of that yeah right i said uh you know wouldn't they be defeating their purpose to go away from the NFL yeah i think they would but nobody seemed to uh you know nobody just thought that it so the motive was just another way to make a profit yeah the Vikings to me will always be Fran Tarkenton though yeah actually you know i mean that's just um that's the era i'm talking about i mean i remember when uh Gale Sayers played i i mean i can remember that's kind of when it seems like it was yeah yeah any team could beat any other team in that time frame and that's what made it so good yeah yeah right any probability could happen i mean now it's just it's and usually it's one team that's great over the entire season and then it's kind of flat watching some of it i mean it's um yeah and it's whoever has got the most money that gets the players and so forth right exactly i mean i can remember when drafts and Heisman i mean i could remember i mean i just i mean i used to think Dorsett was good now i look at him and i think well why did i ever think that well he was good in his younger days he really yeah he really was in his younger yeah and Walker now i mean i don't know if he's dried up or not the way they're talking that uh well he's he's getting old enough to be uh his legs wearing out but the last time i saw him play when he was healthy he looked mighty good did he and who's going to quarterback the Cowboys this year i don't even is it still the blonde headed guy Aikman it what do you think of him it'll be it'll be Aikman yeah oh Aikman himself if he had some talent around i think they'd be a super team but he can't do it by himself he's got to have a line in front of him that knows how to block uh-huh so you think it's the defensive element that's really lacking in the Cowboys yeah well no i think it's mainly the offense the defense is better than the offense really the the the uh offensive line is is uh-huh in terms of running yeah just hasn't been able to keep down the pass rush at all so that Aikman's had time to get rid of the ball and he's been and the main reason he's been hurt on occasion it's like most of them the offensive line didn't do it's job he got blindsided or something so protecting him yeah didn't he just go through through some rough elbow surgery or something about five months ago yeah yeah they found a whole bunch of chips in there that they though though they had one chip and they uh ooh uh-huh they uh got i've forgotten my son keeps up with this more than i in fact he should be on this network he's the one that knows all about sports yeah sure probably my husband should be too i just you know you just go through and you check those subjects and you go well there's not too much well listen i won't keep you on a nice Sunday afternoon right well i appreciate the call okay no problem and you have a good day okay bye-bye same to you bye-bye okay well let's start with you okay um the last movie i saw was the Five Heartbeats and i liked it a lot because it had a lot of music in it Five Heartbeats yeah it's who who was in that it's uh Robert Townsend movie okay um i i don't know all the actors or anything but it was just it was a lot of music a lot of old songs things like that when was it out um it's still out now uh it came out i guess about a month or about a month and half ago something like that it's about a black singing group it and uh it was called the Dells um-hum and uh it was kind of like just about their their life and their uh history and things like that and the way they went from from how they went from stardom to non stardom yeah and uh that was pretty good i enjoyed i saw Dances with Wolves have you seen that yeah that's yeah i saw that one that was pretty good uh that won yeah best picture i think uh-huh and Costner got best director yeah right now Kevin Costner i mean he's starring in everything he's doing the Kennedy movie that's coming out um and there's one yeah yeah starring Kevin Costner another Kennedy movie huh and let me see what else um he's doing some other movie i can't i think Robin Hood that's it the Robin Hood movie coming out and he's going to be in also and let me see what else have i seen what have you seen one comes to mind here and i can't i'm not sure about the name has Meryl Streep and um what was the name of that anyway the basis the premise of the story is that uh uh uh you go to a place after you die you go to a place called Judgment City oh i know what you're talking about and um anyway uh i can't remember the other the other actor uh my it's called Reviewing My Life or something like that yeah and and uh yeah i didn't get to see that Defending Your Life Defending Your Life and it's it's an excellent movie uh it's pretty entertaining uh yeah that's it okay um-hum hm let's see what else have i seen lately um one of my favorite movies it's not one that i've haven't seen i well it's not a late movie it's uh Home Alone Fatal Attraction okay yeah it's probably my all time well not all time favorite but one of my favorites that i can watch over and over yeah did well did you ever see Home Alone no i never did i i heard it was really good i've never just haven't gone out to see it was that pretty funny that was a that was a that was a good one too yeah it's pretty good and um yeah yeah somehow just never made it to see that but i need to see it i don't know i can't believe i'm just drawing a blank um because i've seen yeah Fatal Attraction that i don't know why i like that movie so much i guess it was so much suspense um-hum and i like suspense that kinds of reminds me like uh did you ever see this is going way back uh Jagged Edge yes uh-huh yeah on that order certainly is that that was a good one too yeah but uh and i liked the woman that played in that i forgot what her name is now yeah that's Anne Archer she's the one she was the wife in Fatal Attraction oh okay yeah and she played in uh Narrow Margin which was a little more recent um-hum and that was kind of another suspense type Alfred Hitchcock type thriller that was good yeah um God i guess i haven't seen too many movies lately i need to i haven't seen a whole lot either but i know i'm drawing a blank on yeah what i've seen um-hum and just somehow i mean i it's hard for me to get to the movies now because it's getting so expensive you know i'd i'd rather rent i know it's it's obnoxious because you go in there and you spend six bucks a ticket but then you end up spending another six dollars on food yeah yeah and that's just for a bocket a bucket of popcorn you know yeah and a pop you know so it's it gets pretty yeah God forbid you should want something to drink with it but uh yeah like if i so if i take a date it it it cost me you know twenty bucks easy uh-huh oh yeah easily and uh i don't know and usually going to do usually going to go to a dinner go to dinner or something with that i was going to say you you know you can find certain restaurants that are nice and have good food for yeah eat eat for thirty dollars it's almost more fun really yeah it's almost more fun really to rent movies you know just kind of stay at home maybe yeah the problem is you always have to wait until they're out yeah that's true too so that's what you're yeah you're uh dealing with but then you can make your popcorn and you know be comfortable that's true that is true so um-hum um well that's about all the movies i've seen recently i ought to open the paper here because i know i've seen a few that have that played but um yeah i just can't come up with any names here haven't haven't been to one for a little while um-hum but um did you ever see Kindergarten Cop it's no i never did that was pretty good was that Arnold Schwarzenegger yeah um-hum yeah yeah but um there's a movie i do want to see uh i haven't seen it what is it oh Kiss Before Dying okay it looks it looks pretty suspenseful yeah whose in that um-hum another one i saw is called the Object of Beauty i don't remember recommend that as much as uh Defending Your Life but it was it was all right kind of funny um but um what else has been on and about um-hum are you looking in the paper oh yep i'm trying to i wanted to get to the Silence of the Lambs i hear that oh yeah that was great pretty oh did you see that yes that was that that might be one of my all time favorites too that was an excellent movie yeah it was pretty scary because i was visiting a VA Hospital uh near to where i live and they were saying that some of the patients there you can't leave by themselves because they'll make a weapon out of anything um-hum you know out of a piece of paper they can kill somebody you know and this guy in Silence of the Lambs Hannibal Lector he was he was that kind of person and you they couldn't leave him alone and that's that's what was so scary about the movie um-hum um-hum you know since he was such an awesome character you know i mean it was it was really fascinating he was very dangerous but you were kind of on his side because he was so fascinating hm hm but but they couldn't leave him alone at all and they found out what happened when they did leave him alone one time but i won't tell you that just in case you see the movie yeah i'll probably try to go see um-hum to see it in a little while here but it's been out for a while oh very good oh yeah oh yeah i'm not sure when it'll be hitting video stores but it should be a while yet though you heard anything on like Out for Justice oh i haven't heard anything about it i but i don't like Steven Seagal things uh they're just kind um has he had very has has he had very many other movies out he's had Out For Justice and there was one right before that with a similar title like uh i don't know some i don't know some macho title that's why i i just don't like the because it's a macho movie yeah it is i i don't i don't like that a lot i don't watch a lot of Arnold Schwarzenegger or anything like that either speaking of that i think Terminator 2 is supposed to be out yeah yeah that might be good though that might be good i don't know i've enjoyed a lot of his movies uh they just uh they're action filled and they're a little bit of humor and um-hum um-hum um-hum uh the i guess i i'm not fond of the action packed movie where they're always chasing or fighting or you know i like the more movies that make you think yeah did you ever see um um Sleeping with the Enemy no i haven't seen that yet and that's something i really should have seen was that good did you see it i haven't i haven't heard much lately i just remember when it first came out that it had kind of mixed reviews um-hum yeah a friend of mine saw it and she said it was okay yeah you know it wasn't anything spectacular you expect more out of uh Julia Roberts though but the yeah the previews looked so good that i wanted to see it but i never did uh did you ever see the original FX movie yeah well i saw half of it and i remember i was in school i saw half of it and i fell asleep and everyone else watched it oh okay because i was going to say i always enjoyed that i i uh i remember that movie and uh it was i mean i got into it uh-huh um-hum and uh they have F FX 2 out yeah yeah yeah i don't know if i really need to go see the original one i'm sure it was a good movie i just i probably had a test that day or something i don't know uh yeah it was one of those that has a lot of twists in it yeah it it's it's it's it's uh yeah um-hum i can't put it exactly on the lines of the Jagged Edge but it you know it uh kind of on that end you know you get these twists and um-hum yeah and that um-hum um-hum it's usually pretty good but uh i think i think though that movies are losing their luster kind of i think movies are losing their attractiveness just to a lot of people just i think i don't know because of the cost and i think it it's just losing its originality what's that or something i don't i can't pinpoint pinpoint it but it doesn't seem like it's as big uh rage to get to the movie theater as it used to be yeah yeah that's probably true i i i just um-hum you see the same story lines different characters and um-hum yeah exactly um i don't know it's it's it's it's it's it's hard to say and i know i don't um-hum you know i'm i don't keep up with it right you know but uh i don't try to just just just for that reason reason it is a cost it does cost a lot so why um-hum um-hum go out and see something right away wait you know you kind of wait and if something gets really good reviews maybe you'd finally go spend the twelve bucks you know to go to it right right um-hum but um you know i haven't been to a grand an opening for oh you know ages um-hum just because so you like to fish huh yeah i like to um i don't have a boat but i like to fish and there's a lot of lakes around here um are there many lakes up there yeah actually there are quite a bit of lakes around me we actually uh we have the those little the the the Great Lakes you know Great uh Lake Ontario is right near here uh-huh plus we're in what's called the Finger Lake Region of New York where there're lots of small lakes everywhere and these are uh real good um for like you know bass fishing and so forth they have mostly small mouth in them or no we have a quite actually quite a lot of variety here's uh there's we have large mouth small mouth um sort of musky pike stuff like that um-hum you know all sorts of fun stuff like that um we have a pretty large bass masters tournament actually takes place right on Lake Ontario every year oh yeah that's right uh-huh so it's it's that's a lot of fun um-hum how about you do you like what what do you like to go for oh it's it's uh i fish for bass but i hardly ever catch one but um um they have a tail race over in Lake Lavon and uh you know they wash when they open up the dam and let out water they wash down the fish and uh you catch that white bass and crappie out of there yeah um every once in a while there'll be striped bass we have uh some friends who live on a lake and it the lake it just seems is is completely filled with bass to the point where you know normally you go you you go fishing for bass you get a lot of sunfish or um-hum or cat or whatever and some other strange stuff but in this particular lake we went out with some friends once and we just every time you tossed the line in you pull up a five six seven inch minimum bass and usually you pull up you know thirteen to fourteen inch bass wow yeah it's a real it's a real enjoyable experience to go fishing there because we just we pull up you know bass after bass and um-hum during perch season as well you pull up a lot of uh probably during during perch season the perch will run in very large schools so what they'll do is just you'll you'll be sort of boating around these people own a little row boat and they'll be boating around and they'll hit a they'll hit a school of perches in the middle um-hum and when they do you can just drop the lines in and just pull them in one at they they just drop it in they they can't pull it in fast enough what do you what do you catch perch on um i they actually they according to them you can catch when the perch are running you can catch them on just about anything huh they tend to use i guess worms or some kind of lures sometimes but you know i've she told me that they will sometimes use corn or anything you know um-hum they'll corn or salami or bread or anything they'll they'll they'll hit because they're just sort of surrounded these large schools yeah it's sometimes i use corn but uh uh some fish steal it off the hook sometimes yeah it's a big problem yeah um the other day i was fishing with bread uh there's a college across the street and they it's it's full of carp yeah and uh i caught a carp on a about what size is that uh i think it was a number two treble hook and it's huge its its mouth was just full of hooks um wow so he was in a bad way but uh it's he was fast a big one he's uh yeah well it's uh it was sixteen inches long wow that's that's that's a nice size carp yeah i think it was about a pound and a half you know but all they're good for is the fight boy they don't they really don't want to come out of the water they they zip through the water you know you're how your line goes you know uh-huh and i thought you know that uh i wasn't going to be able to get it in because uh the one i hooked just about ten minutes before when when i tried to raise it out of the water it fell off so it wasn't hooked very well but you know i got it that far i figured that uh that that that counts yeah that's what i said that's what i told the guy the guy was standing there and he laughed when it fell off and i said that's a quick release right there do you do you do you actually like the taste of fish do you like eat the fish that you catch or are you more of a sport fisherman um catfish yeah but uh i haven't eaten anything else you know um um there's some uh my dad has a farm and there's he has two ponds up there and my uncle has a a pond upstream and there's a lot of crappie in there now but uh i think he's the only one that's that's caught enough crappie or a big enough crappie to eat but the catfish there's you know there's hundreds of them from like two to six pounds and right so you can just yeah yeah oh because i don't actually like fish it's sort of so when i fish it's more for sport than anything else yeah and if you know when you when you have to look in their eyes and you know hit them in the head or whatever that's what you do with a catfish you know because you have to sever their spinal cord right and and and and and be careful you don't get stung yeah yeah yeah i know it have you ever tried uh deep sea fishing uh not yet my brother went off the coast of Maine uh when the i don't know what they Mackerel that school out there it's he he said that it was just like that they were throwing like uh uh hell benders or uh yeah uh some other kind of treble hook lure and and uh each time they bring them in they'd have at least one sometimes they've had two on you know one on every hook yeah we i was out in Florida with a friend a while ago and we would go and just uh drop two you know a a two or three rig two or three hooked rig as well down off a boat we just dropped it down there and the captain had you know some kind of sonar in the boat so he'd maneuver us in into a school of fish and you just drop it in and um-hum and it just you you get one or two at a shot you know and yeah it's a good deal too it was it was a like twenty dollars for six hours of fishing on some big charter boat wow you know and and and they'll clean your fish on a tip basis for you if you want yeah down here it's like two hundred dollars a day well this is yeah this this this was for a you know large there were a group party maybe thirty of us on the boat we we weren't all related just you know thirty people off the shop in the boat there if you want to go on a boat alone it's like two hundred dollars a day yeah yeah but this is great because it was i think it was nineteen dollars for five hours and twenty dollars for six hours or something um-hum you know so you'd get to go out there for five for for six hours and get a nice suntan and bring along some lunch and and fish all day it's really nice it's real enjoyable yeah well i i don't know if it's been five minutes yet or not i think we're probably close though yeah it's nice talking to you nice talking to you too good luck with fishing this season good luck bye-bye bye-bye all right so uh what about automobiles well i drive a pick up truck uh-huh and uh you should live in Texas that's probably true it it's a small pickup truck though it's one of those Isuzu uh space cab types with a sunroof so it's actually not a real pickup truck you know it's uh it's got nice bucket seats so it's very comfortable and uh uh-huh it has uh with the space cab in the back i can carry some storage but i have to admit Fred i i've never had a gun rack back there so i probably wouldn't fit in Texas uh oh you're in trouble you don't have a Yosemite Sam mud flap back off or anything like that no no no no nothing like that it my it's pretty pretty i think uh my truck sort of puts me as a uh as as a Baltimore Baltimore suburbanite i think is more uh you know i uh when i bought the truck i was going to buy a boat uh-huh and i needed something that would be able to haul a small boat but then i i um i because i wanted to try water skiing and enjoying some water sports and things and that's one reason why i bought it but then right after i bought the truck i broke my foot and i and the doctor said because of the type of physical therapy i got no sideward movement you know for a couple of months and that meant the whole yeah season uh water skiing you know uh season was over so i thought well okay and then by the the next year i was thinking about doing it again but i invested the money in a house oh well probably that's probably a little more sound investment you know so little more sound investment yes so so then i still have this pickup truck and then i think well now maybe i'll you know go by the boat again and of course then i broke my foot again uh so the thought perhaps you should just uh dispel that thought yeah that so that's so i'm not ever going going to own a boat but you still like your truck though yeah oh yeah i love my truck in fact uh well my wife and i contemplate selling both of us owned pickup trucks actually when we got married so we now we're a two pickup truck family uh hers in in some ways is is a little more convenient and then mine's convenient other ways so it's hard to decide she has a a cap on the back and and uh she has um uh roof racks so we were able to carry things on the roof and able to put things in the back of her truck without them ever worrying about them them getting wet or whatever uh-huh right but with mine see i have a space cab so you can put like luggage immediately behind the seats and i also have bucket seats and air conditioning so each one has its good points and each one has its bad points in a two truck family yeah uh what yeah do you feel that uh you're the always the guy that gets called when someone moves or something i think family um i do a little bit but surprisingly i have uh two of my brothers since i bought my Isuzu pickup two of my brothers have bought uh Isuzu Troopers which actually you know can open the back and just take out your backseat and you can haul washers and dryers and almost anything in them so i think um i used to be uh-huh the one that was called but now everybody owns one themselves you know i do have some friends every once in a while that'll ask me and i'll i'll of course do that you know that doesn't matter yeah yeah it's for for a friend you'd do it anyway so it doesn't really matter yeah that's uh it just seems that uh i don't know if i'd ever want to own one because i know i've used guys with pickup trucks two or three times and and they you know what are you doing this weekend well i'm helping a guy move you know and it just seems like they're always getting the call uh-huh yeah that's true what type of car do you drive Fred well i have a eighty five Mercury Cougar and i've had it since well eighty six actually so it was still fairly uh-huh you know it was a new style when it came out and uh my wife drives and eighty seven Topaz or an wait an eighty eighty seven Topaz yeah that's right and so we're a Mercury family i guess yeah uh-huh uh-huh um not so much on her part but i don't know my dad always bought Ford and Mercury products so and i like the looks of the Cougar yeah yeah they're nice looking i like them yeah thanks and uh except for i got a some Texas hail storm damage it's a little golf ball action so i've got oh really driving driving around a with a Chinese checker board basically oh gee i got that about a year and a half ago actually two years ago this May and i just totaled out the car um-hum and uh so it paid for itself and i'm basically driving uh almost a free car so yeah well that's see that's what i'm hoping to stop paying truck payments soon you know that's i think that's payments are important what you so but your wife drives a Mercury Topaz they're nice too yeah we haven't had a trouble with either of them yet uh her Topaz uh um-hum uh my Cougar's got like eighty some thousand miles on it it's made trips because we're both from Indiana and she moved down here first she she pardon um-hum yeah so you've gone yeah back to visit family have you driven back to visit family in Indiana uh yeah uh-huh yeah i've made the trip probably ten times because i was still going to school and she was down here and so it's uh-huh it's just racks up you know about sixteen hundred miles each time yeah and and we just started going in Carla's car the Topaz and it seems to make the trip pretty well it's getting around thirty five forty miles per gallon oh that's really good yeah yeah it is especially we we were weighting it down a little bit it get it you know on the um-hum it averaged out around thirty five or forty forty yeah is uh gas mileage an important reason why you buy the cars you do probably uh the Cougar i got it just for its looks um-hum and uh the the Mercury brand and uh Carla wanted a a car that got good gas mileage a little something to get around town and uh dependable and uh um-hum uh it it it's kind of a sportier model than most Topazes it's got the the stripping on the side and it came with uh i think Eagle tires um-hum yeah some guy had some salesman had decked it out and uh yeah so it it looked pretty sharp well i i take it you don't have you don't have kids then no no we we just got a new puppy but uh it's close enough because if you had if you had kids you wouldn't say anything about sportier looking you'd be saying things like it has a good backseat uh the car seat fits in very easily and we can seat belt it in securely it's that's that's a big difference in conversations there yeah oh so you don't you don't have children or no we well we're uh just recently married in December oh okay uh but that's we we laugh now my wife says we should sell my truck and i say we should sell hers and i said well the reason why we should sell yours Laura is because see mine has the space cab and it actually has little drop seats in the space area with seat belts i said and we can seat buckle in a car seat there yeah so we should get rid of yours because the three of us won't be able to go on trips i said but we can go on trips in mine you know we can travel anywhere with my truck so that's uh you know we laugh i laugh about that um-hum that's funny uh see that's true i never thought of that and yeah you know oh it's a good child and you know loading up the kids you know we haven't crossed that yet so i know we haven't either but have you seen these new station wagons they look pretty sharp well what the Ford ones uh i don't know what it was i just saw it going down and mom and the kids were in there and it looked like a pretty sleek looking car yeah i think uh i think Ford was one of the first ones to step into that new um that new almost shuttle space shuttle like appearance and i think they've done they've really come on strong with some of that um yeah yeah uh wind resistance and energy saving and uh uh developments i think that that's their station wagon i think those are Fords but i do i like those okay no more of the the panel station wagons anymore yeah yeah now now the station wagon looks sleek it looks yeah i know they do look pretty sharp and uh and hopefully i think uh you know it's supposed to get better gas mileage and um i think that's that's becoming an important thing too my wife and i've been discussing is you know looking for a car when we do get rid of one of the trucks we'll probably look for a car that gets good gas mileage uh-huh just because um it it just has become such an important thing i think for the environment and for the economy and everything you know to start to pay attention to that more and more so you you bought an Isuzu so you're not a a the buy American crowd or no i think i think the reason why i i bought the Isuzu is because you know i looked almost all the small trucks are made by Japanese anyway uh-huh there's only a couple of them like i looked the first place i went were the were Dodge Chrysler Plymouth and you know i went to a number of them and i priced them all out and i was just the the i was almost going to buy a um a Chrysler which was actually a Mitsubishi truck uh-huh but the salesman insulted me um the guy the salesman you know they always do that deal with you where they say well i got to go talk to my manager well here the manager's actually the guy that owns the place and in this small town we live on he's always on TV uh-huh and he comes out of his office and i asked him for i i i said well you know it was like maybe eighty three hundred dollars for this truck yeah and i said well i i'd like it for eight thousand dollars i said for eight thousand dollars i'll sell you know i'll write out the down payment now and you know because i can get financing i can get financing through my credit because i'd checked about financing and everything you know i said i'll for eight thousand dollars i'll take it you know because it was oh sort of marked down you know and the and the guy came out of the back and insulted me he said he said you want a truck for under eight thousand dollars go back to the used lot it's behind the building and he walked away oh man i guess it was a sales technique he thought he was going to pressure me into giving up that three hundred dollars that i asked for i don't know and i said i said i looked at the salesman i said i'm i'm sorry your boss just insulted me i can't it's against my pride to buy a truck here now that no kidding and guy and i felt really bad i walked out and the guy called me at home the next couple of days it was terrible but you know i walked out i got into my brother was actually with me shopping for a car and we drove down the street and he said why don't you just look in here and we went into the Isuzu dealer because my brother always had this love for an Isuzu Trooper he wanted one you know uh-huh and we walked in and here there was a demonstrator model on sale like ninety six hundred dollars with everything standard well i guess um i'll start out and that is um i don't know what section of the public school system they're talking about whether it's the first eight grades the high school or colleges i have mixed views on all three of them um-hum what do you think about what do you think about the the lower grades you know K through seven well i i i should imagine the lower grades what would what what's what's certainly drawn everyone's attention to that is the fact that uh many of the inner city and uh i guess what we'd call uh ghetto or poorer districts including rural districts um-hum don't seem to be able to produce the students that indeed indeed many uh manufacturing and other enterprises want they can't seem to they can't seem to read properly do math properly and conform to what employers want right um-hum yep i uh so that's got everybody excited high schools i'm not too sure it seems that high schools at least produce candidates uh although although i have great misgivings about the SATs that go on to a variety of colleges it seems a great deal of our public colleges have foreign students in them uh from um a myriad of nations and uh and also um uh i think that uh a certain percentage of uh the colleges produce a fairly decent uh public colleges produce a fairly decent student or fairly decent graduate um-hum yeah i i i just read some things recently where um uh colleges now uh graduate programs in general now train basically they're fifty percent foreign oh i didn't realize it was that high uh all just about fifty when you consider um when you consider uh wow especially in technical areas science engineering and computers yeah especially in those areas it's um i know it's it's almost fifty per cent foreign like forty eight percent and that involves both Canadian yeah well that's what i was going to point out i think it mostly is that technical yeah and uh uh European Middle Eastern and and Far Eastern yeah i i think um i i think i have similar views that's you know where our elementary grades um wow it it's amazing i have a friend who's an elementary who's an elementary school teacher and she said that they recently yeah you know they have to go through they have to they have to pat the kids down because they bring guns to school she teaches in the city of Baltimore and that yeah yeah that yeah that must be an inner school i just read a an amazing article i guess in this month's New this week's New Yorker about Baltimore um-hum yeah um-hum uh which uh went on to talk about i don't know i thought it was rather slanted in favor of the mayor or or or the politicians in the in there i do i do i do know a few people and have been have done some business up in Baltimore um-hum but it seemed to me that the inner school system there was the one thing that didn't system the inner city school system was the one thing that didn't flower too well they talked about individual cases of people trying hard but it was very difficult um-hum i i i i think if i was going to fault it now if i'm i'm looking to carry on a conversation yeah that way i think there's a couple of things that really bother me i think when i learned the other day uh uh that uh the average American the average American now watches seven point two hours of television a day um-hum and that school children uh are are not far off that mark with six point eight now i don't know what school children what year that is i mean that's a hell of a lot time to be sitting in front of the tube right yeah and and it's uh uh it's really you know kids can't read um it's really sad they you know by the time they my wife teaches uh middle school yeah and and they can't yeah by the time they get there they can't read they they they can't read anything well i yeah really oh so you're close to the subject and yet you know i have grandchildren i have ten uh nine grandchildren uh in various parts of the country and of course you know i can't speak to the um-hum rural or poorer inner city schools these kids go to a fairly they live in a fairly nice upper scale neighborhood and they seem to be doing extraordinarily well i i i mean i quiz them and i talk to them and they yeah yeah um-hum they read well they do everything well but i i i mean i think that's a that's part of the environment yeah i think it's it's probably the work that your your children your children are doing uh um yeah that that that that could be very well true she she's yeah she can tell yeah she can tell you know when they have kids come in for they meet with all of the parents and she can tell before a parent comes in normally you know give or take eighty ninety percent right yes really yeah you know what the parents are going to be like when they come in and the responses the parents will give back oh yeah no kidding oh i i i yeah i guess i could i can understand that oh i'm a product of the New York City public school system from fifty years ago uh maybe not that long ago but and um and so i i um-hum yeah always felt i didn't get a real good education in the public in the grammar schools and part of high school um-hum so i lived in New England at the time i sent all my children to prep school i was i well i didn't have that much money but we struggled and we did it and i thought it right i thought a great deal of it was a great deal of the success that they had in their education was due to the low student teacher ratio i think i think it's probably very true and i i i think that could that's a formula that could be applied everywhere except it must cost a heck of a lot of money if you do it in public school um-hum um-hum but you know surprisingly i i because you put such a commitment on education um your children probably could have gone to schools with uh uh a higher yeah student teacher ratio and still done well because when they would come home you and your wife would say you know what did you do today if we let's sit down and read together yeah um-hum yeah yeah yeah well that that that's that that must be then then if that's uh i think we both agree on that then then then then a parent parental involvement has to be there and i guess you got to take them away from the tube also another thing that i have another yeah oh it's parental yep um-hum yeah problem i have is uh i don't really know how to resolve this but is the incredible at least in the high school and college level emphasis on sports where enormous amounts of money are spent and it seems to me that money money could be more well well spent somewhere else but you know you know what's really funny is that they there's been some research because i'm a i'm a college professor and um uh and and yeah oh yeah well a lot of the research shows that like Georgetown while Ewing was playing at Georgetown basketball Georgetown yeah right right right right and they were winning yeah endowment to the university in other words money that could to everything everything and normally gets directed away from sports realistically a lot of the was uh was probably two thirds i guess it's now two thirds of what it was when they were national champions in other words while they're national champions people donate more money yeah yeah right average human beings like you and i average Joes that make a decent salary that are a graduate of the school send big bucks like couple hundreds of dollars but thousands of people right but i mean it right to to what uh to sports you say other things than sports though because no because normally it's because of the sports yeah i know but i mean they don't just send it to the new stadium or right right but see the sports brings in the money really i well i guess they're because when Georgetown was number one their their their money money that was donated to them from companies from from local from business people from graduates whatever was up into you know like twenty million dollars and now it's down to like fourteen million right right right yeah during that time period in other other words well i never thought of that benefit their income has slowly their their alumni alumni giving and other funds have slowly dropped since then yeah well i i never thought of that benefit but the consequence then i my i guess what i'd have to say about that is there can only be one champion um-hum yeah yeah that's yeah it's it's amazing the way but now that's big time yeah but but uh smaller schools aren't like that uh only only the big time schools show that but you're right i i think the emphasis on sports and as a see i'm a i'm a i'm a former athlete in a sense i swam isn't that something though i didn't realize that no yeah yeah yeah but swimming never gets much glory so it really doesn't matter but well Mark Spitz made a lot of money out of it and he didn't and he came back this year didn't he but he didn't make it ah that's true that's true but you know they still he didn't make it no i i would have liked it if he if he would have though but i think uh realistically you know you read the the research studies and uh i don't think he would have made it simply because yeah yeah the well the event he was trying to swim they even the research shows that distance running yeah so i would assume distance swimming might be similar that and he was good at distance splits as a swimmer you know at i can remember that but the distance um well the the distance strength and endurance or whatever sort of starts to peak at about twenty eight twenty nine thirty that's why some of your long distance runners were in their late early thirties right right and but he's was trying to make it in the sprinter's event and most of them are under twenty five right well i read i i also read i we're getting off the subject here a bit but i i do want to add this to that because i i was quite interested in that myself but i read where the reason that he had to do this in the sprint events is that national television wouldn't pay um-hum yeah uh-huh for the long distance events and they didn't think they could capture the excitement to get sponsors if you brought just the finish here he comes down the finish line right oh you're kidding so it had to be it had to be where they could put it in one segment and get and and i guess capture the whole thing for some sponsor jeez and that's let me ask you another question as as an athlete i just hate that go head yeah what were saying what were you saying yeah well if if you teach college uh college and and i know when i went to college i i went to summer school and i thought that uh in fact that uh my my idea of it was uh rather than yeah um-hum rather than finish early i just enjoyed some of the subjects that i was taking and i had the ability to to go in summer school and i i didn't take those subjects so what that leads me my next thought is i understand there's a lot of talk now about extending the school year which seems inordinately short anyway compared to the Japanese or the Germans um-hum um-hum right yeah i think i think well how do you think that would work in grammar schools and i think uh in in some sense um what i would do before i would extend a school year is i would make it better before i would continue the agony yeah yeah that's right yeah and something you have to consider too um because i know as as a as a as a former high school teacher i know that from right now yes what what major changes have affected your life well i think that uh women women working is the one that really affects me most strongly right now um you mean yourself or women in general well women in general and and also myself but um um-hum it used to not really really make a difference to me um or at least i didn't think so but my mother worked and i kind of now wish that that she hadn't that uh uh-huh that she had um stayed home and right now i'm kind of stuck because i'd like to have children but i'm not ready to do that because when i do have children i want to stay home so i'm having to uh try to figure out a way to be able to do that uh-huh and in in our society right now that's really something that's that's um not respected and it's not it's not um it's it's not easy to do at all i mean there's a great deal of sacrifice that has to be made on the part of a family if the if the wife is going to actually be a mother uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh that's interesting because that relates to the thing that that strikes me the most and i'm sure you've you've labeled the cause because what strikes me the most in the changes in society is the way kids behave um-hum i think that that they're well they have to be related and that's right that's right and you know i mean i was thinking it just you know my complaint would would be um that i think that you know the kids in the neighborhood run wild and they they destroy property and they you know steal each other's toys and stuff and there's just no respect for for people or property um-hum and i guess you know when you stop to think of it these kids have probably been deprived of a lot of attention that they've needed all their lives um-hum i think that that's probably true oh scary i just wish there was a way i know that in in you know in Sweden what they have there it's really their medical plan but it also deals with this subject because if a woman um is working and i think even if she's not and has a child the government subsidizes her to stay home and raise the child uh but for how many years i don't i don't know until it and um i'm sure until at least school age and maybe longer and what this does is um-hum oh that's great it allows the government to subsidize her to be the mother of her children rather than to subsidize child care um-hum to raise the child for her right and i think that that's a real a much much more viable solution really um-hum no i agree a hundred percent a hundred percent i guess i was lucky because i was teaching and so i was able to just go to a class and teach when my son was little and so i'd be gone you know an hour and fifteen minutes or something at a stretch oh yeah that's great and then yeah very soon he was old enough to just go and sort of stay in my office and you know nobody seemed to have a big problem with that so that's an interesting issue though um-hum um yeah um goodness what else oh there's been so many how do you just you know right i've actually another one that i a question i would have is i guess i'm being you know beyond the age of thinking of this this problem i had an argument recently with my boss i think it was about the need for women to work but i think you put your finger on it when you said that they're not respected if they don't work because it seems to me that a lot of people i know women i know are doing very uh menial jobs in a certain sense certainly financially um-hum and i mean when i see the amount of clothes that they buy and and how much it costs them to buy fast food on the way home yeah um-hum i'm sure that they're not making quote making money for the family on this yeah really and and probably you're right i don't see how they could be especially not if they have to pay for child care well no even families that don't have child care i mean you know when i think of this one friend who makes probably twenty thousand dollars a year and i'm sure she spends at least that in clothes plus you know fast food every day and out to lunch every day um-hum you're probably right if she sat down and looked at it she'd be like God what am i doing this for you know and exactly and i mean you know even though they don't have children they they have relatives and you know the husband would certainly like a lot more attention and and she wouldn't have to hire somebody to clean the house and um-hum do the gardening and so i i guess you're right it's it's our society demands women to work if they're going to be respected um-hum really sad yeah religion has changed too oh that's true um uh uh some people now it seems like are turning back toward actually trying to find out what they're in it for instead of just um it it's it some places still it seems like it's a social club um-hum you know it's just a place to go to visit uh to wear your nice clothes and and to sit around and talk but um i think a lot of people are really you know searching now to find find out you know who they are and who God is and what all that really means now um-hum so that might be of a positive change in society yeah well it's it's um it's beginning i think um-hum um-hum i guess i haven't seen that as much in this area although every now and then you hear about it um-hum um but among you know people i know i don't see a great you know there are those people who have have had serious questions all along and you know are sort of pursuing it but um-hum um the churches here are growing leaps and bounds and i thought it was more because of the the very transient nature of the area and that people were going basically just as you said as a social to meet people and that um-hum but um it's hard to judge there are a lot of things changing i suppose yeah just you know the whole the whole environment i find um-hum um sort of you know i wonder with with all our chemicals and and that and and the foods we eat and you know young people that i know are getting very serious diseases and oh yes well i guess that's always happened maybe not as much as now but you probably well it's just it's maybe it's more unusual now when you know somebody quite young gets certain kinds of cancer and in the past maybe the same percentage got them but we didn't know it or i don't know well i guess we've sort of run dry a little bit it was nice talking to you okay bye-bye okay nice to talk to you bye-bye do you y'all do you get together with family reunions or yes we try to uh we have not in some years now and i think we are going to try to have one this summer oh that will be fun if you haven't done it in a while my aunt is planning it oh where is your family from uh Missouri oh southwest part of Missouri so you are going to have to go there that will will be where it is uh if if she gets it planned i have been out of town so i do not know what she has been doing but uh yeah they are all getting very very old all my aunts and uncles so we need to see them soon oh yeah my family is from Kentucky most of them is down there uh-huh i have got an uncle in Louisiana and another sister here in Texas right do you all get together often or we did when i was growing up it was every summer we got together now my grandmother just passed away this last year so uh-huh right you know she was the i think as we get older it is difficult more difficult to uh when all my aunts and uncles are in their eighties now so it is uh uh-huh i have to uh i will probably have to take charge and do it one of these uh one of these days yeah but uh well it i still have elderly parents alive so uh it takes a lot of effort to either get everybody called or written and settle on a date you know that it sure does and if they are well we in Kentucky it wasn't hard because everybody lives so close together we just did it word by mouth you know by word of mouth right you know my uncle in Louisiana he is the only one that you know had to travel uh-huh and now i have got a sister in Germany and oh my gosh we are just scattered all over the place so it is going to be hard this time but we have got a huge family yeah so the yeah and we need to have more and more of them i hope i think i hope that is not a lost art that people getting together as they do spread out all over the world yeah because it is so fun i mean yeah it is we my mother has got like thirteen brothers and sisters oh i see yeah she has got a huge family and every one of them have five or six kids and most of them you know have got kids uh-huh sure that makes a big crowd yeah it we just we had two baseball bleachers full of people and there are still about eight or six eight or ten people taking pictures yeah is that is that right yes and it was just the last time we had one it was so fun that is wonderful i hope yeah well we need to have another one i hope my aunt is successful as uh later well it is probably not going to be done because i have not heard from them i it was supposed to be this June so i don't imagine there is anything coming this is hardly almost June yeah well i so we have always had ours in a park or something but it has away been the same park and there is nothing really special there only thing is it is big and it is open uh-huh yeah that's we have it usually at this uh at this one park because there is a pavilion there in case it rains and um-hum and uh you have to have it uh fairly early in the summer or it is too hot up there uh-huh in Missouri in Missouri yeah it is too muggy it is not it is just uh very humid and the old people cannot take it anymore well that was part of the problem with well that was part of the problem with the ones we have now the kids would sneak off and we were just being kids and we found what we thought was just an old water hole so we was going swimming uh-huh and like i said we was just stupid kids we was like eight and ten years old um-hum and our parents came and caught us we had been playing in the sump it was part of the sewage cleaning system isn't that great yeah yeah Kyle don't i have got a four year old yeah well that keeps you busy yeah yeah but if we could have gotten it by a lake or something i thought that would have been much better yeah it would have been something for the young people to to do but yeah well they there was uh i am sorry there was uh i remember now there was like uh a baby pool just about a foot deep um-hum yeah yes i remember my little brother riding a bicycle through it we were all kids anyway every family has all that going on i am sure so oh but i love it all the different foods because that yeah oh i do too that is the best part of it that's the yeah everybody bringing something for a potluck picnic and oh grand yeah so how long did you say it has been since you all had one i do not know i think it has been uh four three or four years or five even uh since they have had it tried to get everybody together they are just spread out so much and and we really need to uh no matter how what kind of crowd they get yeah i hope well i have been married almost five so i guess it has been seven years since we have had one and since then we've lost um-hum oh well just our grandmother that is surprising yeah well time flies so fast it may have been that that long since we have one it is hard to remember but i think it has been about four or five years um-hum so uh anyway i i hope both our families get to have one soon oh if i can ever get down to Kentucky it has been like four years since i have been home yeah it is difficult with little ones i know when we had had our yeah that is the reason that is the reason i don't i would get on a bus any day by myself but i won't do it with the babies um-hum because uh i have got uh a four month old and a four year old sure oh Lord so i am just starting and i just quit too oh i am telling you that's uh uh i won't be adding any more to the family reunion no i hope it i know it takes a lot of effort right with with that with two little ones like that yeah they are good kids though yeah so uh i am not too upset anyways i've enjoyed talking to you enjoyed talking to you good luck in everything all right all right you too bye-bye bye-bye what do you think about gun control well uh i am probably uh closer to being a what is it the ten is on the end of uh no gun control uh-huh i guess i am probably closer to a ten than a one i believe i am uh i am not opposed at all to having a waiting period for you know for the purchase of guns yeah uh i think that is appropriate uh a background check on people that uh excuse me especially especially people that buy handguns um-hum uh but i believe that uh you know the Constitution gives uh the individual the right to own firearms for you know for their whatever their own purposes are as long as they are legal purposes and uh i am opposed to anything that would limit what the Constitution allows yeah and i i think i think that is right uh the only thing i object to is like uh machine guns yeah i i i uh i agree with that uh although i can i can see where there might be even be a a potential uh sometime you know a need sometime in the future for the individuals to have yeah uh even machine guns available uh you know if if we were ever invaded of course now that is pretty far fetched but if the United States were ever invaded i think that the man on the street is going have to be the one to defend the country at some point or or might have to at some point and uh i think that there should be uh sufficient sufficient uh guns and you know and ammunition and things available for that do you think um like Reagan of course before that you know he was in westerns all that all that time and and uh he was real gung ho And then then just now just this last year it seems like he's he was uh and he was not that bill does not restrict anything outside of just having to wait seven days but right it is interesting that he turned around for some reason yeah well i i always wondered you know why he was so adamant about you know about being opposed to that waiting period um-hum uh you know even before i mean you know i i did not see that the waiting period was a you know it was a major restriction um-hum i think and i think a lot of times you know that uh criminals do not go out and buy a excuse me what uh uh a good gun costs like two hundred to five hundred dollars um-hum you know a handgun they go out and buy the cheapest thing they can right and and then they go rob a liquor store or something yeah and uh plus you know i guess my opinion is that if uh if a uh criminal or somebody with criminal intent real criminal intent wants a gun they are going to get one yeah that is true uh the drug dealer is not going to you know he's not going to wait the seven days for a gun anyway right so it is it is only the actually it is only the the uh the people that are trying to be uh law abiding people are the ones that are going to wind up being able to get the guns legally um-hum uh you know after even with the waiting period and i you know i cannot see that uh that there is anybody that that does not have criminal intent that would have uh any reason to object to that waiting period that is um-hum that is right and a lot of times like um what is his name i can't remember his name right the guy in the Austin tower uh Whitman yeah Whitman you know he was sane and and i guess they could have said like Lee Harvey Oswald Oswald was sane when he bought his gun you know but he bought his by mail anyway um-hum but later on you know something can happen they can they can have a brain tumor or they can break down one way or another right well uh you know Hinckley was the one that took the shot at Reagan and uh he bought his gun at a pawn shop here in Dallas i think or somewhere in the Dallas area right um-hum and you know if if he'd had to have a waiting period he didn't stay in Dallas long enough uh at that time to have waited the seven days right so if if there'd been a waiting period he wouldn't have had the gun uh or a least he wouldn't have had that gun he might've had another one yeah he might have but uh you know so i you know i can see that there are are reasons for having a waiting period that uh i think that anybody that you know anybody that does not have a a criminal background or you know any any real reason to not allow them to have one i think that anybody that wants one should be able to buy one um-hum that's interesting because i don't own one though i don't own a gun but that's you know that's my personal opinion anyway yeah yeah i do not either yeah that is true because you know once once they start clamping down on one thing or being against one group then the it gives them a foothold to to be against somebody else right and uh and the hunters you know the hunters uh with what game species there are left well especially i mean using a rifle white tail deers mostly right you know that is what people hunt for the most with a rifle uh you know they have every right to have a a rifle and be able to to hunt right you know they rifles and shotguns for you know for like you say for deer hunting and for bird hunting are you know that is kind of the the American way so to speak um-hum and that um i think it was a rifle that that kid shot that burglar with in Arlington or wherever it was uh yes i think it's two years ago or so now yeah i believe it was yeah uh there was a a uh deal on television just uh i saw it uh yesterday or the day before where there was an an Oriental shopkeeper in California i think it was in San Bernardino California you know um-hum That there were five young guys they were gang members that came in to rob his store and they all had guns and he had a gun somewhere under the counter that he got and he shot all five of those killed two of them but you know he he was really blazing away yeah i wondered how he managed that and uh i think he got shot twice himself and uh but he was okay you know it was just he was injured but not seriously apparently um-hum but uh you know it was really surprising but it was good you know from my point of view it was good to see him being able to defend him you know his his property and his store exactly and uh you know i i think that is you know that is the intent of the Constitution is to of that part of the Constitution is to allow people to defend themselves and their property um-hum and and more and more of that kind of thing happens i mean can you imagine i mean it used to be like with the dapper bandit is one guy you know um-hum with a gun and a a lot of the stuff that he did they did not publicize because that it would breach the security of the rest of the banks the banks right one of the things that he did is is um any counter top that was there up to maybe like four feet high he could vertical jump on top of the counter top and and jump down and and be um-hum with those people behind the counter before they knew it right you know and they they showed us a piece of tape of that one time but it looked like they had cut it up some and that was one of the things that was so scary about him right and not only did he he um rob banks but he uh at the time when he first started he robbed the Safeway that my brother was working at at the time and that is how he that is how he surprised the cashier he jumped he jumped back there with her and and you know there was nothing she could do by that time um-hum i had i had not heard about him robbing the Safeway yeah but then there is also there is the uh what is his name Bernie Getz um-hum the in the New York subway i guess uh well i would have even mixed emotions about him uh somebody carrying a gun you know out into the public on public transportation right uh you know of course he was his the purpose of him having the gun was to defend himself because he apparently he had felt threatened you know on the on the subway before um-hum but uh i am not sure that uh the private citizen carrying a gun is you know just the routine private citizen carrying a gun um-hum is uh necessary to yeah i would i mean if you are not if you are not uh in a position where you have to defend yourself you know uh in a routine basis then uh perhaps carrying a gun on your person is not uh is not all that advisable yeah and then uh i know that they are talking about here you know here in Texas about having a new gun law that would allow certain certain individuals to be licensed to carry a gun um-hum and uh i think they ought take a long a good long hard look at at who is allowed to carry a gun in those you know in those situations yeah right like the the judge what was it two or three months ago the judge in uh Fort Worth i think maybe it was Dallas but he he just convicted uh a man for murder and the guy jumped up and and apparently knew where the judge kept his gun um-hum and held it on him for a couple of hours you know and right he should he should either have kept it fairly well concealed or kept it a secret right you know i guess that i do not really know uh i i guess there is not really a you know a lot to say from my point of view except that you know the the Constitution says what kind of rights we have and i do not i really do not see the the point well crime's not very bad out there no as a matter of fact i understand we have one of the lowest crime rates in the area but then we aren't we're only a city of five thousand uh-huh right how's Richardson doing it's been a lot worse this year um they have a lot of drug dealers over on you know where Spring Valley is and Coit yes uh-huh it's real bad there has been for a few years especially on the Dallas side um Dallas is just across the street and and uh they've closed down a bunch of apartment complexes and uh you know like that and they're having to crime sweep uh-huh well i wonder why it effects certain areas because i i i've lived in the Dallas area perhaps for about uh thirteen years now and i used to live in that not in that particular area but on that side of of Dallas uh-huh and that was always a a fairly good area in there if i remember correctly yeah it used to be but um i guess it moves in different uh areas at different times um the only problem that we have here are are you know just very minute sort of crime we have neighborhood crime watch programs and then the uh city police patrol the areas at least one a day and when you're not at home you're to notify your neighbors of course that you know you're going out of time et cetera et cetera and not do the things that are so obvious to uh potential right get someone to pick up your papers and your mail uh-huh set your lights on timers and right yeah but um other than that that's about the only thing we're doing in Sachse uh-huh the murder rate really seems to be up in Fort Worth and Dallas well especially Dallas last year in Fort Worth this year i think i saw on TV just this evening that there was a pregnant woman and and some members of her family killed was that over in Fort Worth uh-huh yeah this morning uh-huh hm and apparently they already they already caught him or they're talking about somebody else they're talking about two million dollar bond for somebody is that right yeah i never i never heard all of the story about that i just heard it from people at work and on the radio uh a little bit uh-huh uh-huh oh it's really been Fort Worth has really been bad because of the kidnappings and all the armed robberies i wonder why over there i mean i'm glad it's not over here if you have to have it but um i don't understand why certain i i think i think that um they're just getting well they had that crazy person that kidnapped the the woman and took her all they way to Saint Louis before they were caught you know uh-huh and she called the FBI was it over in that area last year that they had the man um that was in the mall and this other man shot his wife in in the mall area she and she was screaming and heading towards the entrance to the mall and they shot her and then there was a man in the um parking lot and he pulled out a gun that he had in his car and he shot the the guy was that over in oh i i think that was Redbird oh oh that was Redbird yeah it's real bad too hm everywhere there's a mall there's bad crime though as a matter of fact this summer early early actually earlier this spring i had gone to Collin Creek mall and my hubcaps were stolen yeah and the police officer told me that um the the malls are a very good area where these people like to go and steal the hubcaps they just steal one side yeah yeah exactly uh-huh and and take off they stole the emblem off of one of mine did they yeah well i don't know whether that's a faddish thing or what apparently and then it costs us so much to uh replace those things uh-huh yeah surely from the insurance and yeah they also they tear off the hood ornaments too and one of them costs thirty dollars so uh-huh uh-huh and your deductible of course doesn't mean that it's it's under that it's it's normally right that's right yeah i don't know uh-huh um i really don't know what else to say does that about cover it yeah i think so okay i mean and they said take what steps and we already discussed that you know you know uh-huh about the only thing you do is is to provide the um protection in your own home and then be careful when you do go out at night if you go out at night and um certainly that's about the best thing we can do and uh right they have any laws against that sort of thing yeah i work at Valley View and they have horse patrols and um and they have the mall security that that drives around probably around the mall at least once every ten minutes at night especially because they have so many stolen cars and they've had um uh-huh oh really three three armed robberies of uh jewelry stores um and uh and they've all been in the middle of the day you know um and uh one of them was three hundred thousand dollars that's quite a lot of money isn't it yeah really is and it gives other i imagine other uh potential crime people uh ideas too but i've seen they've stepped up security quite a bit uh-huh and the police are around a lot more now so i imagine they're going to need more police officers too yeah if they do that then they use they use undercover too yeah i guess that's true uh-huh well even here in Sachse we have one undercover police car right uh-huh and actually if we had to call him a few times and they're usually on the spot in about five minutes oh yeah course as i say we're a small town yeah small town but still you know yeah at least they're there right so well i've enjoyed talking to you yeah it's nice talking to you okay have a good evening bye-bye you too bye-bye i guess we're ready okay so what's wrong with our school systems besides it's really screwed up some of them well i i don't think i don't think all of them i think maybe mainly Dallas school systems because Richardson is fine and my son was in Garland and Plano he was in all three them Richardson Plano and Garland and i don't have any problems with with with them as far as you know well um well it's been a long time since i been in uh involved with public school systems uh i think my youngest girl has graduated and she graduated in eighty nine so oh my goodness i think the biggest problem for now days with the school system is some of the parents i don't wanna say all of them because i'm not one of them but some of the parents thinks just uh they're baby sitters and they're not um-hum you know they're putting a lot of responsibilities off on the teachers and i don't think they should i think they should also get involved well i don't know if uh you mean they keep the children they want the teachers to keep the children longer under a shelf it's in there under there hello okay uh what do you mean by that statement do you mean they want the children uh the teachers to keep the children longer than they're supposed to or are they to train them no more or less train train them yeah in all phases of life uh sometimes more discipline discipline uh because really you mean just in they wouldn't be too much of a discipline problems i think if parents would um well the discipline starts in the home well that's that's what i'm saying and carries over into the school when they are school age and and that's right but i mean you have kids you have kids going to school with guns knives that's that's from the home but you know it's i don't know i guess parents aren't and i think the school i think oh that's well like when i was growing up you know you didn't have all this problems i mean we had problems in school but not like this nothing like the guns and the and the and the violence there is in the school with kids well it's just gotten uh completely out of hand as far as the violence in the schools and i don't know what the solution to that is at all i mean its just uh yeah hum-um to me it's utter chaos i don't know how some of those teachers function because uh they are being violated by the students and i know that there are some schools that are patrolled by um private police and even public police and and and they're not getting any satisfaction from that effort yeah um-hum and they're not getting any paid neither i mean there's not you know it's like a hazardous job now to in some schools i should say not all schools some schools you know it's i think uh i don't know what the solution is if the government doesn't know how are the um there's somebody that needs to rise up and have a plan that is going to resolve the many issues that are facing the public school system and i wouldn't know where to start since i haven't been involved in the public school system that much well i've been involved and you know what i still don't know the problem i mean i wouldn't know where to begin to solve it i mean when my children were in school they were in a in a private school system so i mean we just i mean they just knew that they had to toe the line otherwise they would uh suffer the consequences and and that was enough for them i mean they just were very responsible kids and i didn't have any problems with them yeah and i believe that uh that starts in the home and then if the children are influenced i guess they're influenced by their peers yeah and uh monkey see monkey do a lot of times and then but see that also begins at home because he and it kind of my son has well i i've seen a lot of kids you know and it's like i tell my son that's not my child what that child does don't you do i say well see i'm not his mother and i you know you will get in trouble for something somebody else parent may or may not let they child do but you know right from wrong so well i guess that's the bottom line if the children do know right from wrong yeah and uh with uh with so many of the parents being disorganized themselves it's no wonder that the children are so you have to look at that uh factor also where those children are coming from and what kind of home life they have yeah but what and then you got what about this other um what do you think the major cause of air pollution or at least in the Boston areas well the the the major major major cause it seems up here is simply i live right on the ocean so it's kind of hard for me to tell what would happen if i lived in some of the valleys inland but the major cause here and we always seem to and it seems to be validated by the press is the car pollution we don't have too much industrial pollution um-hum yeah yeah uh car pollution seems to be the one and only thing that that i can really put my finger on here um that isn't the same in the Washington area because we don't have any major um industry except for uh government and services and the the transportation situation is such that uh all the car pollution is is absolutely awful um also the worth of the hub of three airports in this general area there is uh National Dulles and then uh Baltimore Washington and it interestingly some of the information i've been reading indicates that the amount of air pollution from uh uh airplanes is extraordinary is that so i didn't know that yeah and that's always something that you know you just don't real you don't think about well most people talk about the noise pollution from airplanes rather than the air pollution uh but the uh apparently the air pollution and the fact that it's delivered right up in high altitudes is a very significant factor yeah i would think so you know uh i i guess it talked about all types of pollution i happen to read just read something the other day at least in the Boston paper there were three things that that come to note one is that the carbon fluorides that are uh being released into the atmosphere are causing even a larger hole in the southern hemisphere in the ozone layer and again and now they've located another one or rather an expanding one in the northern hemisphere so car um so i'm quite concerned i don't think it's involved any longer with with uh hair sprays or those those no i think it's now is what uh from what i understand it's air conditioning units and and we certainly turned into an air conditioned society yeah yeah um-hum society has especially recently yeah i know in Florida there's no place you go that isn't air conditioned and i do quite a bit of business in Washington and i mean you know what it's like here oh yeah it's quite is is the it's really out of the norm not to find something that isn't air conditioned yeah yeah yeah we just had the and and i guess refrigerators are the same way they release that that's right so solutions to this would be i i you know improved yeah well well i guess the first the to me the first thing is i wish society would get as upset about this as you do get getting people upset about animal rights yeah i mean this is so so basic it's human rights in the sense but uh in terms of demanding it's just not caused but demanding that um uh we can spend so much money on certain things but that research really be directed toward um improvement of polluting vehicles and not just cars but also buses um planes that something can be done i mean i can't imagine that well if we can't send people to the moon that we can't improve these things well i i think yeah no i think that it can be done simply because uh uh we've we've every car now in America that's been produced for the past fifteen years has what they call a catalytic converter converter yeah um-hum and no lead gas was came to the pumps and and that's been done there's the lead pollution has that problem essentially i guess because it was at crisis proportions was was licked um-hum and i think that there are there there are solutions certainly we don't even need a need a research anymore it's just a matter of passing the law and passing the law depends on how heavy the car industry the automobile lobby is and that uh for buses that's right well and also to make it economically feasible that's right that's right uh and particular also in buses i don't know if you ever got caught in a traffic jam behind a bus oh yeah well that that the the smell is awful and but you know i was reading the other day not to go on with this but that diesel fumes actually have less pollutants in them than gasoline fumes that you know um-hum yeah um-hum uh-hum so i guess you're better off sitting behind a bus than a car although i can never i could never uh really a a rationalize that while i was sitting there yeah but even of course in the longer term just to get away from fossil fuels yeah i mean i'm i'm thinking of research in that direction rather than we we've taken the intermediate step but i don't think fossil fuels are the answer well we you know up here in New England uh where i've right close to where i live is the Seabrook Nucleus site which is practically a you know guerrilla war up here went on for years um-hum yes i mean uh my my daughters marched in the uh uh against the Seabrook and i kind of uh my feelings were that we needed this bridge to to uh to yeah jump from whatever it was going to be from fossil fuel to whatever it was going to be yeah you don't throw the baby out with the bath water and condemning nuclear use yeah unfortunately unfortunately unfortunately though i think the oil companies have lied to us for years yeah yeah so we really don't know whether there's enough fossil fuel left or there isn't and uh and uh i but with the pollution issue uh fossil fuel is not the way to go anyway no uh so you've to look you've got to look elsewhere so uh but it is something that's a little frightening and in fact well i within our family we have said said my husband i have two sons uh well one one is already in college in New England yeah yeah and the other will be going in September and we just feel that when we leave uh this area we're we're going north not south yes uh i like the mentality north and i also like the fresher air up there that's right so i mean that's the way we will be going yeah but um so i i i'd be interested in having spoken with somebody also from the far west on this issue to see how they their attitudes are well since since Texas and Louisiana and uh California that in that ranking order the worst pollutants in America um-hum i mean i read that the other day i mean Louisiana Louisiana for a small state was it was amazing but it's the industrial pollution i should imagine and California seems to be taking steps i mean um-hum you you read about the the fairly fairly stiff laws they put in on cars now they're they're enforcing but uh again uh that didn't occur without a crisis nothing will occur i guess without a crisis the smog and yeah um-hum yeah i mean even California was notorious for its smog years ago before it even was an issu e out here yeah exactly exactly well the greatest thing that happened to pollution in the last couple of years as far as i'm concerned is the no smoking rules on airplanes and in restaurants and it it really is a pleasure for me although i guess smokers don't think that well that that's that's personal that's personal air pollution but that to me was pollution that was its most personal personal uh pollution that i can think of yes yes yeah well i i definetely definitely advance that well listen i enjoyed speaking with you and let's hope some there are other people that feel the same way surely something happen right on thank y ou bye-bye you're welcome bye-bye okay uh could you give me your thoughts on uh on any trends well uh longer term trends i think that uh like past oh ten or fifteen years uh there there there seems to be a a trend and maybe it's longer than that of of politics is is strictly a what can i get for me or what can i get for my group and not what's best for the whole uh kind of a thing uh does that make any sense or yeah um you're talking about the uh political action committees and uh i mean the yeah political action committees that and i think it i think it ties in with the the budget deficit that uh the Congress and and uh is is they get they get reelected by what they do for their districts uh in terms of bringing in and bringing in money and and uh right in order to bring in money for their district they've got to vote to spend it in other districts and and uh the heck with the overall uh deficit and it yeah districts is geographical but it can just as well be interest groups in terms of of uh whether it's Social Security or or anything that that uh it's it's what what you get for your constituents one way or another not what what's necessarily good overall yeah we're uh we feel it up here in New England because we're small states so we don't have the represent and representatives that yeah that the larger states have you know like like Texas and California um but we've got we have political clout only because of the tenure of the people that are in there like for uh uh the sub yeah like Texas yeah yeah building you know Gratin and they're building down in Newport now yeah okay but you but once uh somebody's got to do it somebody's got to build the subs and i guess Virginia can do it also in fact i've got a a yeah the latest contract that was awarded Virginia sued or has got a lawsuit against uh Gratin to stop construction because it was unfairly obtained or something like that you know yeah and uh yeah but let's see you you do have uh long time uh long time power people there in terms of i mean Rhode Island's got uh right this um Powell and Chaffey and and and been in the senate forever and uh Powell yep yep yep but when those when those people leave uh the power's going to go um there isn't really anything here because we're not really big enough so the economy is going to going to suffer i think because the the yeah yeah the base that New England always had the textile base the uh the uh costume jewelry base most of that now has moved out here to overseas to overseas or down south so we're prone to yep yep um uh recessions like the rest of the country were before we were kind of stable uh the political power is the only thing that can stabilize it at least i think up up this neck of the woods yeah yeah yeah but there's too many now uh political action committees and where the money is coming from is coming from those states that have the big industries that can afford to contribute to those yeah so those are going to get uh uh the squeaky wheel gets the oil they're going to they're going to catch it and somebody has to do it somebody has to do the work like Boeing or General Dynamics or wherever wherever they happen to be you know you've you've only got a few plane factories or yeah well well i guess i guess i'm a little more cynical than that i'm not i'm not sure that it that all of it has to be done even but uh well i i think they should be outlawed myself the the the packs i don't think they should be uh but well in it well i but i i mean in terms of of not necessarily all the planes that the government buys they really need or not necessarily well in in in in particular uh planes and i true you know i see this here in in Texas that that uh got uh oh i can't even remember which of the companies it is but they've they've got a they've got a tilt rotor uh plane that they've developed and they want to sell but developed for the defense department department and defense department is saying well no we we don't we don't really need it it's going to be too expensive and it's not going to do what we need and oh like the yeah yep yep the the Texas people are fighting to have it built for just to just to keep and create jobs here right yep rather than because it's uh you know they they they certainly use the words well it's needed but but uh yeah look at look at the tanks now look at that New Abrams tank yeah and i have no idea what the cost is uh five million ten million no for each one now you can make you can make a a missile or or a hand held rocket that can take one of those out pretty effectively yep what what do we need all the tanks for i mean you can make you make you can make probably a thousand rockets for each tank right yeah yeah and you can give a thousand rockets of a relatively uninvolved uninvolved untrained uh person and he can take he can take one of those tanks out yep but yet i'm not sure who is it Chrysler that makes the tanks or one of one of the i think i i think maybe so and i think that or and i don't think we really need all that hardware and again and again like the Stealth bombers and and some of these things they they put on their drawing boards and they never fly or they never they never run right yeah yeah yeah yeah um is it because of of political clout yeah rather than need i think in a lot of cases yes yeah yeah but we don't have a watchdog agency to the military overlooks their own testing yeah which is good for us i mean it creates you know we generate a lot of income at TI because of the military contacts right right right you know that's true too but do you see any other trends or particularly interesting events that come to your mind um the savings and loans crisis yeah the political trends there are are most most of these people are lawyers that are now in in uh the government whether it's state or local most of them i guess you've been reading about the problems we've had in Rhode Island where the governor closed down a lot of the the uh credit unions and banks yeah because of uh it was privately insured but but stated well it certainly did certainly did when he first did it but i haven't heard about it for a while i was at are there yeah there's still a lot of people that uh still can't get their money out can't yeah um they still have to pay their their bills like their mortgages and things they slip them under the door to the bank and but yet they can't get any of their savings so it's it's it's a little bit difficult but most of the people there the trend was that on almost every single board of the institutions that were closed they were state legislators huh yeah so they had a conflict of interest because they tried to get through uh a bill stating that they had to have federal insurance rather than private insurance and it was squashed yep yeah okay what are your favorite things to watch oh um let's see i uh i have enjoyed uh Thirtysomething um-hum in the past uh now now that it has gone off uh some comedy shows uh i can't can't think of off hand of yeah what what are your what is we do not watch a lot of TV we try to watch it on Thursday nights we usually watch LA Law i like that real well yeah and Cheers we like to watch that yeah ah we like to watch that uh we sort of got hooked on LA Law um do you ever watch that yeah uh yeah yeah we we we try to catch that most most nights yeah yeah i i have watched Thirtysomething some in the last couple seasons i was sort of sorry to see it go yeah too it it was kind of interesting uh some people complained about uh uh the kind of whining or whatever on it i i did i really did not think it was it was that way i think it had some some good uh yeah good situations that it uh presented yeah i thought a lot of the like the problems that Michael and Hope had in their marriage and stuff i can relate to some of those things and yeah just the dynamics of it and everything well i think i think a lot of people you know kind of felt that way but they had a lot of uh uh uh counseling groups that used some of the episodes as as examples of of things that were going on and uh oh really you you you know that the effect of interaction between people and sort of to use as uh as a way of getting people to talk about their problems that sort of thing uh yeah we kind of uh uh our TV viewing has uh slowed down a little bit since our our daughter came along so uh that that tends to put a cramp in your viewing because by the time you get through getting her ready for bed and everything uh it's uh very little TV time left yeah you are too tired do anything yeah it's better to spend time with your kids i think though than glued in front of the TV anyway yeah yeah that's right probably more worthwhile i just don't i don't think there's as many good things to watch as there used to be really no i i i can't uh i don't think there were uh i i haven't i haven't uh uh there are not as many good shows that i that i continuously like to watch as much as i used to i uh you know there uh i used to could be able to name ten shows or so you know that i felt were worth my time to watch but uh i i i very seldom like to watch there there's there's a there's a couple now that i tend to want to watch i like uh home improvement shows like Bob Vela's uh Home Home Again on Saturday morning it's enough it's like it's like This Old House but it's uh it's on instead of being on public PBS it's on regular TV but uh it's kind of interesting because i right yeah oh they renovate an old house and uh-huh yeah i've seen parts of that before it is interesting yeah so uh i i like to watch that uh some some things on PBS i like to watch but uh do you watch sports much on TV yeah if it's somebody if it's a team or something that i am really interested in i i am not one to just watch a football game just to be just to be watching it or i am not a big basketball or baseball fan if it unless it's baseball if it's some if it's a team i really like i may watch but uh yeah its uh baseball to me is a little hard to watch on TV for an extended period yeah its so slow that you just get bored i'll i'll switch between yeah it's slow something else and and and a baseball game going back and forth you know watching it but i usually if if if it's a football team i really like a college team or or pro team that i'm fond of i usually will will sit and watch that but uh that's the yeah we are like that and occasionally we'll like on if we do not have anything to do or kind of bored and we just want to sit in the house or something we'll watch a little bit of a golf tournament but uh you can not take a whole lot of that either it's pretty slow yeah yeah it's kind of like football like baseball uh do you watch we rent movies a lot on weekends and watch them at home because there's just nothing on Friday and Saturday nights there's nothing good on right i think that that that's um what more people are doing and i think that's you know as as TV i think that less good shows being on TV has caused a lot of people to do to do that uh you know to get more movies and watch i know we've we've done that too in the past uh we don't do it quite as much now because huh our baby won't let us watch them but uh yeah uh you know we usually will we used to rent uh two or three movies on a weekend and and and try to watch uh-huh do you have cable TV no uh we live in we don't either i thought we were the only ones who didn't have it no no we uh the uh development we moved into was they have it on on side like right across the street from us but when they built our section they didn't didn't put it in and uh-huh we've been there about two years now and they're still still do not have it so i'm hoping that gosh yeah that soon they'll they'll they'll i have contacted them about this and they say that well it's it's they look they every year they look at different areas and try to determine where where uh the most houses will be and so they uh-huh they look and they when they when we reach a certain number of people in that area they'll put one in put some in or they'll at least consider it so huh yeah yeah well we had it for awhile and it just seemed like we never watched any it we didn't have the movie channels we just had all the normal ones that come and we just never watched any of them we kept a log for a month of every time we watched it and it seemed like we didn't watch even half an hour so we decided to just cancel it it does improve the reception a little bit though that's the only thing yeah um yeah yeah i've uh i've i've uh i have i put some put in some uh an antenna a really good antenna and uh it's really helped you know ours and it's not been too bad i have not really missed it that much there are certain things that i've that i want to see you know occasionally like like a football football game a college game or something that happens to be on cable or some old movie you know i i haven't been bothered by it by it too much yeah so well i can't uh think of too much else to say since we are not big watchers well it was nice talking to you um bye right okay all right bye um i i personally have a lot of feelings about the way our judicial system is run but um yeah really i do not know i just uh i i do not know i have you ever been for called for jury duty no i haven't have you no i haven't and oh is that you i am still here oh okay uh a friend of mine was just called before and uh it's amazing the that they have to go through about four hundred people to get a a jury for this one case good grief because um there was everybody seemed to have some sort of bias you know uh very hard to find um you know extremely um um yeah impartial people but anyway i think it would be interesting but um yeah impartial how do you what do you think about the way it's run well well the you know on the suggested topic was to talk about whether uh verdicts had to be unanimous decisions right and i thought that was that really got me to thinking you know and i think we really need them to be unanimous um-hum because i'd hate to think that that you know if if i was charged with something that i was not guilty of that i got convicted on a you know seven to five verdict yeah that's true that's a good point um aren't they supposed to be unanimous though now isn't that the way it is okay you know yeah they are i think they need to stay that way yes i agree i do although i do not know i think the judge should be involved i really at this point i am not sure how it works but let's say that a jury decides somebody is guilty yeah and the judge disagrees it it's not the judges final decision right it's the jury's right it's absolutely up to the jury see and and my feeling is this judge knows a whole i do not know i mean that's his job you know that and it seems like all he is is a mediator mediator of the whole thing i know it but then if if you give him too much power you know that who knows i mean we got crooked cops well that's true yep you're right there's crooked everybody i know it it's really scary because you know you see i do not know if you ever watch saw the movie Presumed Innocent did you see that oh my God it's fabulous if you ever can rent it or something so no i didn't is it i've been trying to and it's never there yes really it's just great and it it's scary because it's just about that there are crooked cops and the whole case points to this one guy and you know he is innocent and um that that kind of stuff ought to scar us to death i mean yeah it does and then you watch this guy go to jail for um i should not be telling you because you are going to want to see it well i knot that he goes it it for the murder right yeah and he goes to jail um i just and oh it's really scary that would be awful yeah but but then i also see um oh i do not know this one case here in Rochester where um we had a serial killer and they finally caught him and it here he the guy had basically admitted to killing twelve girls yeah unbelievable and um good grief yet it was it was almost a type of thing where he almost wasn't guilty because they had this little flaw one piece of evidence that's that's what bothers me the technicalities and that's where i think the judge maybe ought to have more say you know uh ah yeah right i agree because i can't believe that that we can let the people off that we are letting off because you did not tell them this one statement before you took them to jail you know like um-hum right oh right or the whole the Marion Berry thing you know the the governor uh how they determined that he was um oh i do not know it was set up or something yeah it's just i mean this guy is dealing drugs it's not set up he was just doing it yeah you know i'm sorry he was doing it entrapment i'm sorry you know uh-huh i would love to be on a jury because i i do think it's fascinating i i i think it it's it's hard system i mean you are never going to get a right and a wrong you know it's just there's no blacks and whites it's shades of gray that that's right yep and i think i am like you i think it would be really fascinating i do not think i would want to be on a highly publicized case though i do not think i would like that at all me either because it is tense for the jurors that were on this serial killing uh they couldn't read the newspaper they couldn't watch TV they couldn't talk about it and this went on for like six months i'm sure well you know they had uh a big drug trial in Roanoke Virginia a couple of years ago and my my husband was called for jury duty on that and he said that they had guards armed um-hum huh really you know guards posted everywhere and he was really glad that he wasn't called because he said that this would have been too much wow yeah so i wouldn't like that at all oh my goodness i like Judge Wapner type of thing yeah a real simple uncomplicated thing you know right like uh my dog bit the neighbor or something we could start out small and work our way up yeah exactly so but it's just it's scary because um there there's just so much that can go wrong that could let an innocent person be convicted or a guilty person have them let go absolutely that the nuances and yeah and um i do not know i guess it's it i do not know a lot about the terms but a hung jury is that when the it's not completely unanimous that yeah you know it would be split one way or another and and that ends in a mistrial oh so what happens nothing so they have to retry them they have to bring in a whole new jury they have to absolutely start over again oh oh my God so and i do not know how many times you can have a hung jury i do not know if they the i don't guess they have to go back to um-hum trial i guess you know they could drop the charges if they didn't think they'd ever convict him um-hum did you see Sixty Minutes by any chance on um i guess it was this past Sunday night they showed a guy who um he's a lawyer and what he's like known for now is getting men um no i didn't uh-hum off of charges of killing their wives or their ex-wives yeah isn't that lovely so there's this guy um i forget what his name is and he is a lawyer someplace and he's gotten so far about four or five oh that's nice men um free of the charge one guy went in stabbed his ex-wife to death because she was sleeping with another guy i mean ex-wife you know we're talking and oh my gosh yeah well and um he got them off on the basis that he went temporarily insane yeah i'll bet he did right temporally insane that she provoked this in him because he was so madly in love with her that seeing you know this other man with her just drove him crazy oh and it was her fault that he killed her yeah exactly it was her fault her uh they interviewed her parents it was crazy so now he has to serve like six months in a rehab center and sure and get psychiatric treatment exactly on my father's side we've really there uh does your family normally have a reunion do you have one that's been on my father's side we've really there uh on my mother's side we've had several not it's not really on a regular basis but usually sometimes every few summers uh-huh uh-huh well see all the family lives in one place except for a few of us that are scattered about so they're pretty much just reunited always so it's it's right um-hum just once in a while we get the special gathering with everyone together uh-huh well it might be a good time for you to begin to to start a tradition you could be responsible for that yourself i know that's they do that that's true how about your family sure well in my family let's see last October was the forty fifth annual uh reunion the first Sunday in October the Jordan family gets together wow you're a pro at this oh that's good and all of the descendants of the Civil War i mean yeah the Civil War veteran come together and they come as far away as from California and there's usually oh between a hundred and fifty and two hundred and fifty people and then where do you meet in uh there's a big community hall in Vernon okay Texas and uh that seems to be sort of a middle ground for all of the Texas family okay do you have relatives in Vernon uh-huh then okay right uh-huh a lot of the older family lives in Vernon um all of his direct descendants descendants have now died and the grandchildren are in their seventies and eighties right oh so we're talking about second and third great children here right uh i take my boys well i took them up till this year they're grown and gone from home now so they take their family but uh oh right but uh let's see that would make them grandfather great grandfather great great grandfather okay so it would be the second great grandchild okay so this town hall that you meet in is that like a um it's uh well it's a community center it's a community hall it's a great big open building that has a wonderful kitchen in it okay and uh you just bring the covered dishes every every family brings a a dish of some kind and you get all the wonderful old family recipes that have been handed down for years potato salad and the well we try to stay away from those things which might have uh salmonella in them oh that's good and we choose to bring congealed salad you can bring a congealed vegetable salad as opposed to potato salad and we are very conscious of most of us are very conscious of of uh right sanitation aspects whatever you've got to carry for any distance i always take home baked bread right huh oh that's nice oh that's nice uh that happens to be my specialty for that family i do other things very well but there are others in the family who do them better do they always have the the one person in the family who knows or everyone thinks they know how to make this the best and that's what they get to cook uh-huh that's good well i had a professor in anthropology at school who studied family reunions so i learned a lot about them i haven't been to a lot but we talked a lot about the the rituals you she equated the family reunion with the Protestant um-hum um-hum um-hum it was the Protestant version of the Catholic pilgrimage it was it was an interesting theory she talked about the um um-hum that Catholics all it's a home centered you know it's all family centered anyway so you usually are living where your parents live and it's all your you don't have to come home so the Catholics would make a pilgrimage in older Europe but when the Protestant ethic happened in America there were people who ever went out and you know went away from the family to seek their fortune and then had to come back home um-hum for the reunion so that became their version of the pilgrimage um-hum right but she had it was interesting you know i don't know how valid it is but she talked about that and how the the big picnic table was the symbolic communion of the people gathering together and um you know about the bread and the ritual placement do you have a a certain way that everything's placed out on the table every every year is there kind of a you know salads go first and things like that well it's uh we have uh uh kind of a core group that that serves as quote officers of the organization and they plan the reunions they right organize the you know who is going to see to it that the coffee pot gets there who's going to rent the tables who's going to see to it that the silverware gets turned back to the caterer uh and each year it's done a little bit differently because different people serve in those roles that's pretty fancy we have a biographer who who continues every year to save clippings on any family member and they're entered into a a wonderful uh scrap book and pictures of new babies and new people who have been added and and obituaries to those who are gone And it keeps the family alive even you know even though it's very fluid and they're very dedicated to that sure does that's wonderful it's been really wonderful it helps you hang on to your roots yeah i wish we'd and it helps you feel a strong sense of belonging my husband on the other hand was not very close to his family his family was very scattered and very diverse right and i asked him i got to talking to him i said well how is his nephew doing well i don't know i haven't talked to my brother in three years well how's your brother doing i don't know um you know my son keeps in touch with him i think but i don't i said hey wouldn't you like to know what's happening with these people yeah but i'm you know it's too much trouble right so i got busy got together and put a reunion together for his family and succeeded in getting all of his brothers and sisters and all of their offspring but one wow you're just uh oh that's incredible to our place down at Lake Tawakoni liked to kill me because i had it was i didn't have that group cooperation i did it by myself right and uh nobody brought covered dishes we had a great big fish fry and you know i fixed a salad in a number three tub and and uh right it was an enormous task to bring all of those people together with just one or two people helping and uh we had to provide sleeping arrangements for all of them and i told him have you have you done this repetitively or just once we did it that year and then the following summer we did not have all of the family there we sent invitations we said please let us know if you're coming it was when uh his mother his step father had died the year before his mother was alone and so they came to support her and then one by one his brothers you know his sisters he began to lose family members see that's we've we had a problem with that and it was difficult to hold them together and then of course he died t wo years ago so and you know that family has gone down to one brother and one sister now oh and uh it i think that's what happens when they get scattered the the family unit you know falls into disrepair right that's what was our problem we had uh the first reunion or the first you know major reunion was probably six or seven years ago and then the second reunion people who maybe you know um-hum sacrifice things to come to the first one though oh well it's not that big a thing this year and so it kind of wound down and then finally uh-hum um-hum you're lucky to get the Shreveport relatives there but no one else uh-huh well see we manage those people who are at that core group manage to keep keep the vigor alive they'll send out news bulletins two or three times a year you'll get a news bulletin hey guess who got shows up you know elected to the legislature or guess who's our local sheriff okay yes well this is a very timely topic in as much as we're going to a family reunion this weekend yes oh are you really where is it going to be down at Lake Texoma lodge yes this is one that's uh the Baker family reunion oh uh-huh and this has been going on at least uh i would say at least twenty five years or thirty something like that maybe longer than that i'm going to get back into the fifties sometime oh that's marvelous um-hum first time i got i married into the family and the first time i went was about fifty seven i think uh-huh but uh this one has been uh been well organized and in fact it used to be at Lake Brownwood and now it's Lake Texoma because that's more central location for people from Oklahoma and Texas to come to um-hum i'm sure location is really important as far as figuring out where one ought to be very important because uh you'll start losing people if it's too far to go um-hum we have factions when it's one part we i have one reunion on my mother's side and we found that if it's in a certain part of Texas some people come and if it's elsewhere other people come we never get them at both of them it seems like so i think we need to find a new place yeah yeah never get them at both places right listen they've uh they've had this one well it just of course over the years it has uh built up as far as the organization is concerned but now they uh have a golf tournament on the Saturday um-hum um and then they have generally a show or an auction or something on Saturday night to help raise funds to cover the costs of such oh that's a neat idea yeah and uh everyone uh they get the community building there at Lake Texoma lodge and everyone brings in food um-hum and then for the Saturday night dinner they bring in like Kentucky Fried Chicken from Durant and uh it really uh has worked out um-hum how many people Jim are involved uh generally uh i think it's been as high as about a hundred and twenty people i think normal is about sixty or seventy wow yeah well i guess um ours probably isn't that big our family is dwindling for one thing oh and i often feel funny because i'm in a branch that's all but died i just have one aunt and my family oh so sometimes when these other families get together they're really pulling in aunts and uncles and grandkids and we're kind of off on the sidelines yeah but it does remind us that we have family and roots so we keep going even though we're not a real big part of it right yeah well our family started reunion started out my wife and i were the kids the newlyweds so to speak um-hum and now we go our children go and our grandchildren are going now so it's uh wound up that uh we're the old folks now oh that's great um-hum um-hum but um they have various organized they have generally a volleyball net set up and horseshoes uh to pitch and they organize a baseball game for the kids um-hum and several people bring boats and there's a place they they take the kids up to the lodge and go swimming up there in the afternoon so it it's a full day some of the people come down on Friday afternoon and spend the whole weekend and some just come in for Saturday so there's lots to do um-hum uh-huh so it uh has worked out quite well and it's a chance to see some of the relatives you don't see all year long except that once a year um-hum that's true well that's neat i i think they're really fun we go to mine regularly and then we go to my husband's occasionally down in Temple and he has a large family so it's it's fun when we go to that one yeah my side of the family is from back in Ohio and West Virginia and i think we've been to one in thirty five years or something like that so oh that's just too far away oh it would be more yeah yeah that that is a problem with the distance the people that we have that don't come are out El Paso way and it's just too much for all of them yeah it's an all day drive just to get to this area all of that group to travel right but then we have the same attitude when it's out there although this year we're going out they're going to have it at Fort Davis and we thought that would be yeah fun to kind of tie it in as a vacation time as well as reunion yeah yeah we have uh each year of course they elect officers of the family reunion and a number of years ago back in the early eighties my wife was president we discovered how much work it is just to organize and get it together and it takes a lot of planning and um-hum um-hum and choose some place that everybody's going to like assembling of stuff right as far as food and all that that's correct so that's a heavy burden yes it is i i i don't really care for her to be president again no but that is uh it's it's a lot of work but it's a lot of fun um-hum we've enjoyed it and well i think the grandkids really enjoy it because it's the only time of the year they see all their cousins from Oklahoma yeah and it's it's good for kids to know that they have other family yeah and this year they're all excited The show this weekend this weekend is going to be a rock and roll show my two grandsons and one of their cousins are are going to dress up and lip sing to a rock song you know in jeans and T-shirts and such oh boy oh what fun uh-huh so it's uh it's going to be exciting for them and for us too um-hum probably lots of laughs oh yes there have been some really wild shows put on there they uh really get uh into it um-hum well it sounds like you really have a good structure and have it going along ours ours is still kind of loosely organized and the same people usually get stuck with doing it and yeah well oh that generally happens they do it as a labor of love so the officer idea is a good idea yes yeah well we've uh had various things over the years uh to raise funds for it um-hum and again it's not it's not cheap to rent the lodge up there or the meeting meeting room down in the cabins and such but uh they've come up with they've tried passing the hat and they've had auctions and various things to raise funds and uh yeah um-hum um-hum some people do and some people don't yeah and it's not fair that everybody not contribute excuse me but um anyway that's the family reunion story um-hum okay well thanks a lot i enjoyed talking to you been nice talking to you bye bye so do you have PC i have a personal computer at home it's an AT compatible huh-uh i don't use it very much any more i used to use it quite a bit uh-huh i also have a PC at work that i use as a terminal i do some PC stand alone work on it and i can transfer data back and forth between the PC and the main frame uh-huh what about you do you own a computer um well i sort of own a computer we have two PCs at home but neither one do we really own um both are no both of them are sort of work related and are you leasing them loners loaners from work yeah that's the nicer way right of do you work for TI no no um i actually i'm doing consulting right now because i just had a baby and my husband's working at Bell Labs but he's really from France and these computers actually are from France what brand are they one of them's a Compaq um-hum it's a three eighty six i'm jealous and the other is actually a IBM PC compatible it's a three eighty six guess it's twenty five yeah three eight six twenty five C maybe i don't know no we don't have the cash that's right we decided not to get the cash which is actually another loaner one too that we've picked up for a consulting job that my husband was doing and what kind of consulting do you do um well i actually do some work working at MIT and at NIST National Institute of Standards and Technology uh-huh in Washington and then i worked for Dragon Systems for a while what kind of work do you do when you're consulting um well it depends it's very different in the different places but is it programming related yeah yeah program related research related i've i work in speech the speech field and i i do a lot about acoustics phonetics and uh-huh looking at the uh acoustic characteristics of speech and so i do that type of stuff typically for other people and we use uh here we use the PCs to do that and mostly i use it for writing papers and things like that word processing well more uh do you know Latek no i'm not familiar with it word text word text processing so i don't i don't use i mean you can call it word processing but i don't usually use a word processor to do it um-hum and we don't have too much standard software like i haven't bought we haven't really bought any commercially available software at all so we don't use it for things like our accounts and addresses and things like that we use it more for just writing programs when we need to or um doing research looking at the speech signal and then doing writing and also as a just as a terminal and we connect to other computers to read our net mail and things like that so you've got you've got a modem in it then uh neither one has a modem but we have a modem at home you have a modem that you can connect to each of them neither one right uh and so it's an external modem i got when i got mine i had an internal modem in it i used it uh quite a bit when i was um yeah we have uh-huh uh looking at uh information on a large bulletin board sponsored by a newspaper in a in Fort Worth but uh went out of town for a while and and sort of got off the uh uh bulletin board and of my micro completely um-hum uh-huh and after a while the modem started making noises on its own without uh even without using it on the computer i could turn a computer on it'd start squawking so i finally opened up the box and took it out so that was it i think that's the thirty second warning oh i didn't hear it do you hear the the beep in the background yes oh that's a an ambulance or something going on here i think okay where i haven't ever noticed the thirty second warning actually where are you and uh in Manhattan are you at home now so you've got a lot of traffic noise real close yeah i'm at home uh-huh so it'd be interesting for the people that look at this signal i mean because there's a lot of background noise that you know people can hear so it'll be interesting how much of it actually gets picked up um yeah and often times that i can't talk on the can't do this much later than now between sort of like six five thirty and six thirty or something like that because the traffic outside they honk the horn so loud i can't even hear the phone conversation what time is it now where you are uh about twenty after four so you're an hour ahead of where i am i'm in Central Central time zone okay yeah we're Eastern and um what did did you ever try using like Prodigy or any of those systems no i haven't done that uh i know someone who has and and she's uh very uh pleased with it she told me some of the things you can do and it's just a a very uh handy tool to have uh-huh yeah and and you can do a lot it it makes things very convenient you can save a lot of money too certainly cut down on long distance charges if you if that's what you have in mind uh-huh yeah i've never tried using that i don't know too much about it what about have you did you use commercially available software or i have uh i have used Lotus i have used uh Word Perfect uh i not heavy use i've used uh D Base and uh i've used a substantial amount of shareware uh-huh um i haven't done much Lotus work connected with my job i've been through three classes and i have a great deal of respect for it uh-huh uh-huh um i haven't done much word processing work with my job i do some and i and the D Base work i've done was strictly class related um-hum i've never used D Base um but i've heard both good things and bad things about it well it's probably the granddaddy of most uh data base management systems there it's got some pretty uh strong competitors some of them have reviews that are better than D Base so i uh i uh i think uh by now it's a matter of uh personal taste uh-huh yeah people told me that it was sort of cumbersome to use i can understand that very easily i've used uh i've had a class on um R Base and also in Paradox and both of those seem very easy to use compared to D Base uh-huh uh-huh do you think you D Base is more flexible or allows you to do more or do you think the others are pretty much compatible these days um i wouldn't say compatible but there certainly comparable well i don't i yeah i didn't mean compatible i meant comparable my brain is going to mush um and what do you work on at TI i'm a computer programmer on the IBM main frames i do uh main mainly business data processing um-hum uh-huh uh-huh i also handle production support for the systems in my area of responsibility uh-huh okay um sometimes i get called late at night at home because there's a production problem and that gives me the opportunity to come in to work and fix it if i can't think of some thing to tell the trouble shooter while we're on the phone right um fun i also uh handle most of the calls from our users and other programmers who need to find out something were connected so uh let's see what what was the topic i forgot oh oh we are supposed to talk advice for people taking for parents uh help their kids through college yeah do you have any children no i just graduated from college yes oh did you where did you go i went to Clarion Clarion uh-huh huh uh would you i mean if you had children would you want them to go to a certain place or um i would want them to make that decision and i would you know uh i pretty much made my decision on my own and my brother older brother likewise yeah uh-huh and uh you know we we were both pretty much happy with what we did so i think i would not push them towards any one place yeah uh-huh yeah i know i kind of feel the same way i i just finished college a couple years ago and i uh you know it was while i had my family and everything and it was a lot harder but uh you know i went to a college that was fairly local and i feel like my education you know you get out of it what you put into it i think uh-huh but you know i know it's some people are real adamant about you know going to a certain school or whatever uh-huh i do not know i guess it a lot of it would depend on maybe what your major was or something i do not know but yeah exactly i think one of the first things kids ought to look for is first of all they have to decide what they want to major in and then you know find a school that's good for that but uh-huh yeah is that why you picked the school you did or well i picked it for a couple of reasons it was only about an hour and ten minutes away from home so it was far enough away that i was away but yet close enough if i ever wanted to go home i could uh-huh yeah yeah uh so you lived there at school then pardon me you lived there at school yeah i lived up at school yeah uh-huh uh another reason was uh i paid for my entire education so i had to look for something that i could afford economically you know uh-huh right you know and uh Clarion was oh it was roughly around six thousand a year uh-huh and that was for tuition and yeah that was for everything and now i did not go out a lot and i did not order out a lot and i you know i did not spend money on myself uh-huh uh-huh but uh then again i was there for school so yeah uh and then another reason was i was not sure you know i always wanted to go to school for nursing and then at the last minute i changed my mind uh-huh and i knew that Clarion was known you know for two things actually for their they are known as a teacher's school uh-huh and also for their business so that's what i ended up going for is for business uh-huh for business so uh are you working somewhere then or no no not yet i am moving shortly so i am not looking around here oh i see where are you going to move to uh Maryland uh-huh oh are you do you have friends there or my fiancee is down there oh i see so does he work for a company down there yeah he works for the government oh i see oh the big company yeah so yeah i i have been working for TI for about twelve years i guess so uh-huh but i am not originally i am originally from Illinois but you know i have gone to college i guess a few different places but i think you know most for the most part you know the teachers have been pretty good and i have got out of it what i have what i have put into it uh-huh so but you know i think i think that's most of it personally but that's why i you know with my kids i think that you know i am just going to encourage them to go and i am going to try to help them financially but uh i think you know financially i am there's only so much i can do for them and i will say here's what you have got you can either you know go a couple of years locally and you know then if you want to move off to a more expensive school then we might be able to handle it but exactly uh-huh otherwise you can just go for four years you know somewhere and i will try to try to help you but uh i do not know you know the financial end of it like you said i put my wife through school too of course TI paid for a lot of the tuition and books and stuff but uh it still was a challenge to do and uh so i think you know financially that's that's one of the big aspects exactly yeah you know you it does have a lot of bearing on it whether you are paying for yourself or whether your parents are you know right yeah well did you uh since you were paid for school yourself do you think you had a different outlook on it like your grades and things like that uh yeah because i was paying for it myself i kind of slacked off because i felt it was mine and i could do with it what i wanted uh-huh i think if my parents would have paid for it they would have been on me you know uh-huh uh they pretty much got to the point well well you know you are at that age and you are going to have to decide what you want to do if you goof up it's your fault it's not ours you know right right and then lets me go and i mean i did not do poorly i finished with a two five that's not that wonderful either uh-huh yeah but uh you know i i i mean i worked i did not you know goof around i worked it was just harder you know it was i do not know i was used to being you know on top and when i started there it was like you are mediocre so yeah right yeah well see i think you know i have known a lot of people that would go to school and their parents paid for it and and i guess it depends on the way you are raised too but if you if you grow to expect that you know you kind of go there as sort of a vacation uh-huh you know i that's the way a lot of my friends did it and you know they were not they did not take it very serious i know i took it real serious because i did not start to college until you know yeah i was about eight or ten years and uh you know out of what i should have been in school uh-huh but uh you know so i think that helped me be real serious about it and i i ended up graduating with like a three point six oh wow that's really good yeah so i you know and that was hard cause i had two kids and you know a family and everything else so i had a lot of different hats to wear all at the same time but uh-huh yeah see well i screwed myself up also there was a point in time that i decided that i did not want to in school and my parents never pushed me until my dad just said what are you going to do and i said well i am going to go because i have not whipping butter the rest of my life you know yeah you are right exactly so i went and i just took business well being as i was paying for it myself you know i just kept you do not get into your major until like your second or third year uh-huh right and i am going into my third year and i decided well i do not want to do accounting anymore right uh-huh and i thought oh my God i am paying for this myself i am not switching completely because i will put myself a year behind so i switched to finance and i liked it better right yeah and i pulled myself from a two oh to a two five you know in my last year my senior year uh-huh yeah but i would have really liked to go on uh secondary ed with math education but it was just the fact i was paying for it myself i was not going to put myself behind another year uh-huh right right well my my wife was sort of in the same situation she was she went to school to be a teacher just because she did not really know what else to go for uh-huh and she did not realize until she got to be a senior and was doing her student teaching that she did not like it uh-huh but you know by then she had practically got her degree so so you know exactly i think if uh i would have went with the math i think i would have done a lot better because i was more interested and that's what i i knew that's what i wanted uh-huh but uh i think a lot of kids that hold off a year or two oh my gosh i would like to see the results on a study done i think they would do a lot better because they are more focused uh-huh yeah they know exactly what they want to do yeah i think i think you are right when you pull yourself away and then you get out and you say man i really need this uh-huh uh well let's see how many you said yours are all i mean that sounds like an army five oh lord that is an army i came from a family of six and i have only got two and they're one well any number is nice let me tell you well i kind of decided that single single children that that that's not parenting that's a hobby but yeah it's not as fair to the children either i don't think well don't tell that to all my friends they're into quality time i'm just into getting through the day oh yeah but sometimes you can hurt them by having too much quality time too well i i can i can spot a kid who really you know whose parents spend every quality time with them you know outside of the work day and when i take care of some people's kids you know when they when they have teachers' holidays and that kind of stuff i will take my friends' kids uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh that are usually in day care and you can spot them because they have no idea how to just hang out and mess around uh-huh you can tell how to just entertain themselves yeah really yeah yeah it's a problem for any child and you take one that's used to being uh busy being having something to do all the time it makes a big difference it's not a problem for my two they're only eighteen months apart uh keeps you busy they can they can find things to do and mess around and and yeah plot and scheme and everything else so you did all five of yours complete college well that's great no our last daughter she didn't want to go to school she's uh but she's married now they built a home just a couple miles from us and well how did you go about selecting a college then well we didn't do it right all the time with our first boy we persuaded him to start here and i do not always think you should try to make them stay closer to home i think the main thing is to uh right now i feel the main thing is to look at what they're interested in uh and take what they're interested in and then then start looking for schools do you think that what they say that they are interested in is at eighteen is going to be what they are ultimately ultimately graduating at no not necessarily and but like our oldest boy i think he would have he wanted to go to Embrey Ray Riddle and we talked him into going local here first uh-huh and he only went a few months and then transferred to Pittsburgh he went to aeronautical uh oh just learning to work on engines and that uh-huh uh it has to do with airplanes and everything which is what his whole life is and i really wish we would have let him go where he wanted to go originally and he would probably be flying is what he would be doing uh but but right now of course he's he's working for Pratt and Whitney in Connecticut and they build and rebuild uh jet engines how about the other four other three who went uh the other ones uh the second one she chose we let her go where she wanted to uh we didn't want her to go but she went to Erie to Gannan University uh or Gannan College i'm not sure which it is college i guess uh she went there two years and it was more expensive and she soon realized you know even though she didn't like Clarion she came back and finished at Clarion because it uh saved her quite a bit of money and she got really the same basic education that she wanted uh-huh and our other uh two boys they went to Clarion also and uh did very well there and they've all really got uh they've all really got really good jobs and uh when they were like in junior high and high school i mean had they did they have an idea that they were definitely going to go to college and uh-huh uh yeah they kind of had that they just expected to go Daphne never went she always said she would never go to college she said i i always thought she'd change her mind you know but she didn't and there's nothing wrong with that you know if college isn't for everybody uh-huh but uh it it does make a difference in your pay wage income i think it's what they want out of life because if they get an education and are willing to go where the jobs are they can make a you know a much better income uh-huh like my kids they're all making more than my husband was making when he retired from the state yeah i was i was making more than i was making three times what my father was making as an executive in the insurance industry when he retired you know that boggles my mind uh-huh uh-huh okay did you go to college yes i went uh four years undergrad at University of Nebraska at Lincoln because Lincoln is where where my parents lived and there really you did see it makes a difference uh-huh uh-huh there really wasn't a choice i mean the finances uh dictated that you had to go there uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh i kind of i am not going to say i resent it but i was well one of the national merit scholarship qualifying and you know one of the Rhodes Scholars kids and the whole bit um uh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh my parents didn't even discuss with me going to college out of state or anyplace else and i just knew that the finances you know would not support it if i had known someplace else uh-huh how not i'm not going to say easy but how much less difficult than i thought it would be to get a uh scholarship to go anyplace else i think that i uh-huh would definitely you know have gone now when i finished there then i got a scholarship to go to the Harvard University in Boston and that was uh i think that was probably one of the best things that had ever happened i mean i was uh-huh that's great taken out of my element you know the the the homogeneous Midwest which is a lovely place to grow up and put into someplace else where people thought differently looked differently sounded differently uh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh different life styles yes yeah different life style and i think it was probably one of the best things that ever happened to me uh-huh now my kids i keep saying that uh you know i would like them to go to the best school that they possibly could uh-huh i don't know you know what the realities is going to look like you know we're putting money away already uh but i really think it's important to put these children someplace where in addition to uh-huh you know them getting an education they really need a a you know a socialization away from what they are raised in especially if you lived a pretty insular community and uh uh-huh right an upper class suburb of Dallas let me tell you it's quite a bit different it's very different see that's the way w e are we're more of a rural type of a area and it does make a difference i they say you shouldn't look at the expense of the college when you are looking you should not yeah not really because they say a lot of times you get more help uh-huh with a more expensive college oh yeah and so in the long run if it's really what they want you know they're better off now our children all pretty much borrowed for their school uh we we did all we could uh-huh but they pretty much had to borrow a lot of their money to go okay we're on okay well i just on on gun control i just always felt like that i think i don't think it hurts for anybody to wait for a week or two before they get a gun if somebody goes in to buy one so that they can check that person out um i don't believe that most of the criminal acts that are done are done by guns that are bought in a gun shop though i believe it's probably bought across the market and i don't think gun control is gonna have any control over that at all so uh you're you're for no restrictions or uh uh sort of a a little bit of restriction maybe i might say if a criminal if a criminal should go happen to go into a gun store i don't think it would hurt anybody to wait a week uh-huh to go back and pick up that gun so that they can check them out yeah right and if it is somebody like that then no but i really think that most of the criminals in our city who have guns do not go into a gun store and buy them i think they get them from other means i what kind what what kind of means would those be oh i don't know like from each other you know uh uh-huh in other words you're saying that it would be hard uh to get rid of all of the guns i think so well doesn't it doesn't doesn't London have a ban on firearms England jeez now i don't know yeah don't they carry don't their policemen over there carry these billy clubs that's right nobody over there carries guns yeah i don't know if we could get away with guns completely i guess well it would be nice uh uh to be able to take your family out uh especially when they're dependent on you and not worry about uh having to have a gun just to protect yourself and them that's right i agree with that i agree with that i we do not own one um and i don't intend to buy one and i'm not a hunter i guess those people feel a little bit different but i don't believe in hunting either so you know well i have a couple of guns and uh one i always worry about somebody getting ahold of it that that you know won't know how to handle it right and uh probably never will do me any good because the bullets in one place and the firearm's in another uh-huh and i carry one in the pickup uh and i worry about it being stolen and uh of course i'm like you i don't like to kill things no i don't either well it is terrible when you have to ride down the street and think somebody could just shoot at you for nothing which has been in the news a lot lately you know no apparent reason so oh yeah and and there's a lot the crazies are out there in numbers right right well you know i would love to see a ban uh on firearms and i'd have to rate myself as a number one however i worry that that the that the country could ever get to that point hm and then i worry about uh the fact that uh what if there was some sort of insurrection in this country in this country yeah then uh how would we as citizens uh band together and ever put down an uprising if there were no firearms uprising you think we could ever get to that point where there would be no firearms i don't think we ever will i don't either that's the problem not in this country yeah so somewhere somewhere along the line then uh you know there has to be a happy medium and uh i know the the uh oh what's the organization that uh right that the rifle association oh yes the gun the uh the gun association is is heavily for no bans whatsoever yeah well i think we ought to have some yeah well i think so too so i'd have to vote for uh uh maybe a five in uh and hopefully uh we could put some sort of restriction on the handling of firearms right i could go for that like like you suggested yeah i think that would i think that's the only way okay Betty well sounds good enough to me then well i've enjoyed talking to you well same here and uh one of these days that name's gonna come back to me oh me me too okay bye-bye okay sweetheart bye-bye well now i i have a question for you do you like uh fresh water fishing or salt water fishing okay i like well what i usually do is fresh water fishing i haven't been salt water fishing since i was about ten is that right yeah and i do everything up at Lake Texoma oh yeah i'm a striper fisherman oh you do okay oh where do you fish for striper there oh everywhere wherever those little suckers are but uh we camp at the lodge Texoma State Park okay over on the Oklahoma side and uh but usually when we go striper fishing when i go out for the big ones we travel down the you know where the channel is down the middle of the lake oh um-hum uh-huh pretty much we usually chase them down through there okay so you're out in a boat then oh yeah oh yeah do you ever go up there oh i've gone up there camping like at Eisenhower State Park and i've observed fishing but i've never actually fished there uh-huh oh it's good fishing up there yeah so you like to go for striper then yeah of course i won't you know i won't throw anything back well the time i went and watched i went over to the uh to the dam and it was right after one of the major major rains that we'd had uh in fact i think it had been over the spillway recently when we went it was back down but uh some of the roadblocks were still up or there was evidence of them oh yeah uh-huh and people were they really had the gates open oh my gosh that's supposed to be the greatest time to fish big time well i couldn't believe some of the striper that these people were pulling out and there were just people galore for that matter just just everywhere just huge fish yeah oh yeah oh yeah it's fun well my dad got me hooked on it so to speak and uh yeah oh God pun pun and uh we'd go out he liked to go out about five thirty and you know watch the sun come up every morning and uh boy we all right we knew a bunch of the striper guides and and so we'd follow them and he had a CB on the boat and all that kind of stuff and we'd just follow the channel and when it's you know middle July through late August when it's so hot they stay down real deep all the big ones do yeah follow that channel on up deep in the channel huh i'll be but uh so now my cousin will i make him get up early in the morning and take me out striper fishing and then we usually fish under the bridge at night with the kids and his wife and stuff like that because where we go a lot of times oh wow uh the waves are so big i don't want my kids out there because it's sort of dangerous but i love it i love it right well i used to fish go every summer to northern Canada oh really and so i i've been spoiled by that uh but i had a string of seven or eight years in a row oh of uh sort of a close knit group we would just hop in the car and drive straight through two thousand miles oh how much fun and uh we started out fishing out of a lodge and then we started uh either taking our own canoes or renting them when we got there and hitting a few of the oh my goodness you know smaller lakes along the river chain and uh catch Northern Pike and walleye primarily uh-huh oh my goodness and sometimes Lake Trout also oh how much fun so we'd always go the first week in June you know essentially as soon as school was out and everything is all over and done we'd uh we go uh uh-huh course one year i went two weeks too early with a friend that was he at this point he'd graduated from college and was in the Army and he had a two week period he he had to work with before he got shipped off to Germany oh my goodness and so i went with him in the middle of May and much to our surprise when we got there all the lakes were still frozen no yeah the first week we were there we just had to camp and oh you're kidding ooh not for me uh we could go on the streams they were open up you know the flowing where the water was flowing but the lakes themselves were still iced over for the whole yeah whole first week we were there uh-huh oh my gosh ooh but then the next week they were just just like day and night difference we had some rain and wind and it it cleared all the lakes off and uh you know the fishing was already really picking up but uh uh-huh those were my favorite fishing trips the most serious fishing i guess i've done yeah yeah when i take the kids out like i say we in fact Memorial Day weekend we went up to the lake and uh my cousins have a boat my boat is sitting in my driveway not running and uh so we go up there and we decided oh that we'd you know go out first we got everybody's tents up and camp made and all that and said come on let's go fishing we hauled in well we brought in thirty three fish and we had thrown a bunch of little ones back good grief yeah and uh so then we had a huge fish fry the next afternoon and we went back out fishing and we caught and brought in thirty three more and had thrown a bunch of the little ones back but we had more fun those kids wow they've got real fishing poles but they're the little short ones right and it was so funny because i mean they'd just be hanging over the side of the boat mom i think i got a fish i think i got a fish oh it was hysterical but that's incredible boy Jamie's getting to the age now that when i get up and go fishing early in the morning he wants to go too you know he doesn't want to get left behind anymore oh boy yeah so it's getting a little difficult to do that but we love it we just love it well i need to break my kids in they i have a son you know Wesley that enjoys it but he hasn't really caught enough fish to appreciate any fishing so i i'd like to break them in a little bit uh-huh uh-huh well i have to watch it because Ashley'll out fish her brother half the time and so you know that gets a little sore uh-oh yeah but where we camp there there's a you know little bit of a inlet where we park the boats and stuff so real early in the morning before it gets hot and then you know right at dusk uh-huh um down in the trees down there boy all those little sunfish come up and they'll go down there while i'm cooking dinner and just start reeling those little babies in and they ha ve more fun with that right huh what do they use for bait oh usually i'll buy them a thing of worms or a lot of times i'll just give them a piece of bacon and they're taught they'll tear up bacon and stick it i mean those they'll they'll bite empty hooks that's what's so funny yeah good grief and when we're out chasing the big stripers we use those perch for bait yeah use the little ones for bait yeah why not yeah it's great oh me but we just love it up there in fact Jamie wanted to go up this weekend with it being fourth of July weekend but uh i can't put the tent up and all that kind of stuff quite yet i'm still pretty sore fourth of July yeah oh me so anyway but have you been um salt water fishing i haven't really done any of that uh and oddly enough uh Jackie's parents live on the the Carolina beach in North Carolina and and we've i guess we went out one time right oh my goodness and just fished you know from the shore like in the winter you know one Christmas trip uh-huh but other than that that's really been it yeah they uh i've always wanted to actually go out in the boat i think i went out on a a snapper party boat in the Gulf once upon a time but uh and i was i was too sick to yeah uh-huh to to enjoy that right okay i i guess first of all i'll just say we haven't done much uh gardening we do lawn work all the time but uh our gardening we lost remember the last two freezes i don't know how long you've been here yeah i do but we lost our bushes in those and have been waiting to plant new ones and so as far as our bushes we don't have any but we do have some blackberry bushes and and they were really hearty and stayed on and we've done really well with them oh really did you plant those yourself um-hum yeah and so they've been really good and the kids i had to the first year i had to tell the kids not to pick them when they were red because they were supposed to be blackberries oh but uh we go out it it's hard to go out when it's this hot uh-huh and uh but uh keep the weeds out of them and and keep them off the ground so the ants don't eat them and they're okay oh yeah um that's nice i i love blackberries and we we uh when i was smaller we my family lived in Tennessee and there used to be wild blackberries that we'd go out and pick my brother and i uh-huh but i don't have any down here yeah yeah uh we have some flowers that have they just are real hearty also and they're bulbs and they come up every year but uh they're getting too thick i need to go thin them out and uh there a i don't know what kind of flowers they are they're real common around here they're they're orange and they look like a lily sort of uh oh i think i know what they i can't remember what the name of them is are are either yeah no but i think they're real pretty when it rains because their petals don't soak the rain in they they keep the the rain on the outside little rain drops and and they look real pretty after the rain oh and so i really like them but i need to get out and and um do that now as far as our grass it grows crazy it just keeps growing and growing and uh sometimes my husband does it and sometimes my son does it but it just is i don't i don't know i've lived in Utah my whole life and we can't seem to get ours green i don't know yeah down here the grass well i'm uh we've had problems with our yard we it was one big weed is what it was it was just horrible and my neighbors on either side of me have beautiful lawns and we have this God awful ugly thing and uh-huh crappy i know we have that too and i know they must think you know i wish those people would do something about their yard but my husband got some new fertilizer and stuff that that seems to be helping and he put it on the front yard to see how you know it would do and stuff before he put it on the backyard but we've got a Great Dane in the back and she has eaten everything i have put out there she's eaten my crepe myrtle trees uh-huh uh-huh oh dear i know and she's eaten the bushes i've tried to i spent like eight hours planting this nice garden out there and i barricaded it up so she couldn't get into it no uh-huh and i went and took a shower and looked back out there and she was already in it and i was so mad had somehow gotten in yeah yeah so i can't do anything back there because she just she destroys it but i've tried out in the front but like you said that that freeze that came uh-huh i had some bushes that uh some shrubs i put put out front and it killed those too so i'm just real discouraged with the whole thing i just don't even want to do anything the the other problem that we have well it's funny because the one the two bushes on the ends of the house that i think are ugly they lived and so i don't i don't know i yeah that that happened to us we have these uh so like i wanted to go out and kill them too i know they had no right to live but anyway uh under our trees we get a a north sun and uh the it looks like our trees don't have any grass under them you know we just can't grow uh grass underneath there oh i know ours don't i know we can't either but i've got pretty two good size cottonwood trees out in my front yard uh you know one on either side of the yard um-hum and and they're big and they're real full and everything you know in the summer time but it it's killing everything underneath yeah where the leaves are shading the tree but toward the end of the summer you know when everything starts dying off and whatnot and then the light can get through the tree then the grass starts growing but by then it's so late then the winter comes and it stops you know it's it's it's a never ending cycle right it's a vicious cycle isn't it it's really yeah it really is so we've been trying to get something or to pull some grass underneath there and and whatnot so well i don't we've never done anything like this but we've been thinking you know if we built up um you know either a a wood wooden like trench thing around where our bushes were and filled it like with a nice dirt then maybe we could plant some either flowers or or some new bushes in there that would live uh-huh and so i think that we're going to try that i i think the huh i think that's pretty much what we have decided now i have two long windows and i'm trying to decide whether to put like bushes in front of them or not you know maybe just halfway up the window or something like that yeah so people can't see and hear too much it just yeah really and i've cut well i don't really have to worry about that that much because my sons' bedrooms are in the front and they've got mini-blinds and stuff but only only one is really like in the flower bed part and the other one is out on the porch yeah yeah so there's not really much i can do about that that's what our two rooms are on the front too with these long windows one is a bedroom for our our oldest son and one is um an office that my husband and i work in and so i i really don't like it too much because then the back of our house faces that well the flowers are out by the back of the house so and that's where the front room is so that's not too bad but i like to look at the flowers they're pretty yeah i do too that's why i look at my neighbors yard i don't have anything to look at so i look at theirs yeah but it's funny because uh you try so hard i think sometimes to to anyway i do to do our yard and then it's like the wind blows uh-huh everything whether the weeds from your yard to your neighbors or yours to them or and so even if you did get it under control it seems like in just a few months it would all be back and yeah yeah it it's really a pain my husband works a lot so um a lot it's hard to get out a lot and do that yard work yeah i'm it's usually me and the kids that go out and mow the yard and uh-huh and i just i really do not appreciate having to go out there and do it i hate to mow the yard more than anything else i hate to mow that yard i know it is it's not my favorite thing in the world either i'm glad i have an old enough son to do it for me now yeah well mine's getting there he helps he does half and i do half so pretty soon though by next year he should be able to do it all by himself uh-huh yeah whether he likes it or not yeah well that is one chore that we will pay him for if he'll go do the yard work out outside so oh sure i'll be more then glad to pay him if he'd just go out there and do it and and do it to where i don't have to go back out and redo it that that's my only thing with him yeah right exactly exactly that's why i'm help having him help me now okay well what kind of pet do you have one very old fat cat Prissy and that's why Pat won't ever let me have a party at my house that's right i remembered that's right Prissy get's you in trouble because you can't have them there that's right she does shed a lot of fur and how many pets have you had she's we've had her for a long time we used to have a Spitz that kind of got deposited on us when a cousin was getting a divorce and we were supposed to keep her temporarily for about twelve years usually we've had dogs or cats yeah well you know we have a dog named Pumpkin so what we've had him yes a year and a half and uh it's okay i don't know i i i told my kids basically i would just not as i just soon not have a pet in the house but i give in yeah i'm reaching that point too yeah it's it's it's hard for me i like pets a lot but i just don't like them in the house um-hum so i wished you know i wish we lived in an area where we had a big backyard i'd have a dog you know i'd have it outside but um i um-hum well i'm thinking of a next time about going back to a dog though because the cats really do shed a lot you just never get rid of the cat hair do they and i know there are a lot of dogs that are pretty clean and don't shed so Emily wants a dog a lot of her friends have little house mops kind of like yours sure sure well it is easy and like Pumpkin is real easy i mean we don't even have to walk him much or anything he um-hum but do you have to let him outside for all his business and all yeah yeah yeah he goes out in the morning but see that's what would be hard for us since we're not there a lot yeah well unless you got a doggy door you know like my my aunt and uncle have a doggy door and their dog just goes in and out at will um-hum yeah so that that's nice i think Jay would go bananas over that though he he likes for our house to be as secure as possible all sealed up yeah i know that's that's the problem with it but um um-hum but basically dogs our dogs worked out has worked out well and i think it's nice for the children i it's not my most favorite thing in the world but um-hum that can be so therapeutic though when when i really want to just crawl into a shell i think uh wouldn't it be nice just to lay on the bed and pet the cat yeah right well they are loving i mean that's um-hum that's the thing uh you know my friend Barb i have a friend good friend who's just moved here and she's gotten two cats and honestly she is just crazy about those cats um-hum and she's single lives by herself and they totally have kept her company you know i mean it is just it's really meant a lot to her to have those cats yeah and i really i i don't think i'm prejudiced since i've had both but i think cats are more prone to really have personalities i mean they own you rather than the other way around um-hum um-hum um-hum and i really do believe that i get a kick out of seeing my seventy seven year old aunt with her animals and she had a cat get killed not too long ago and she said no more you know i just i can't go through that again and it wasn't three months before she had another one and just adapting to it just yeah like she always had yeah and it's really neat for people living alone like you say with your friend yeah it's really you know Barb said she wishes that she had done it years ago you know that she had um um-hum gotten an animal years ago because she's been single a long time and you know she says it just makes a world of difference to come home and have them in the house yeah growing up it was so funny because mother would always have a soft heart for strays and uh-huh we never back then you didn't spay and neuter your animals that much you just kind of put up with whatever happened and she could never get rid of them fast enough before the next litter came along it wasn't usual unusual for us to have six and seven cats and i remember my first camera experience as trying to put cats up on a porch and take pictures of them that were going to be award winning type photos they've always been a part of my life well i guess so you've had them so you had them just from early on then oh yeah we had a Cocker Spaniel growing up but but the cats were the things that i loved and especially with being around kittens and the babies and all now were they indoor cats or outdoor cats no no dad never never would have allowed that right so they always just kind of showed up and came and went and had babies and we played with them we we used them as dolls sometimes we'd dress them up and put them in carriages as much as they'd tolerate it uh-huh uh-huh so it was always fun uh-huh well now see we lived on a real busy intersection in Phoenix and we had a dog but he was killed we we couldn't it was it was not it just wasn't conducive to animals oh yeah that was traumatic wasn't it yeah yeah it was it was very traumatic my sister it was really upsetting to my little sister and and um so that it just we didn't have many pets growing up just because our house wasn't conducive to that um-hum yeah and uh it just wasn't safe we didn't have a fence and our dog just got killed we'd keep him chained up but he got out and you know sure enough was hit by a car so um-hum yeah that's exactly what happened with ours and my brother really took it hard because he was the one that had left the gate open so he blamed himself personally although you know there were so many things that could have been different but it was hard for him to cope with it being his fault oh yeah i bet so i do hate that i that's one reason i like cats and critters that can stay inside because you don't face that right it's it's hard right especially if you really do get attached to them i'm i'm already kind of preparing for Prissy dying because she's pretty old and fat and oh i just know it's going to come sooner or later so that's one reason i've been letting Emily talk about dogs because i think uh-huh we we say that's going to be the end but i think when it really comes to it we'll want another pet how old is Prissy she's at least thirteen or fourteen we don't know exactly because we got her as a young kitten or a you ng cat and didn't know that much about her she's a neat cat i mean she owns us all the way um um-hum um-hum but it does require a little bit of work and housecleaning well uh you know it does that's just it and right now it's i do well to just take care of my children yeah yeah you know without taking care of an animal too so um-hum and you have the problem when you travel too we always we board her now and that gets kind of expensive that's right that's right we just we just were on vacation and uh it was you know it was expensive plus i think you know for Pumpkin he didn't you know he didn't like it we were gone two weeks and that was hard on him to be boarded for two weeks yeah yeah um-hum where'd y'all go uh we can't talk about that can we we went to Gulf Gulf no i guess not it's not pet related Gulf Shores Alabama and New Orleans and so we had a really good time oh boy yeah oh how neat so but yeah Pumpkin was but the puppy survived yes he did i always wonder i think well now how much do they remember you know like and you know my aunt says that they do drug them i just went bananas when she told me that that was a fact that she had shopped kennels and vets and that they all very lightly sedate them so that they sleep a lot and that just gave me the creeps because i you know i hate to think they did that to anything or anybody oh huh but she said every vet's office and kennel if they would let it if they okay hi Nancy well do you do a lot of dining out no um we don't although we enjoy it um we do it more when we have company come um what about you uh-huh well we do some some dining out um i i do a lot of cooking so um mostly like when we go out you know it's my husband and i i we don't go out too often as a family um unless it's like a fast food kind of thing but um but we do enjoy dining out one of our favorite places here in in the Dallas area is Atlantic Cafe i don't know if you have you ever been there i've heard of that but i haven't been there um where about is that um well actually there's the Atlantic Cafe and Cafe Pacific and uh oh okay i i've been to Cafe Pacific have you the now that's down in uh Highland Park it's Highland Park Village did you like it right yes um oh i love it before before we moved to the area my brother uh lived in Dallas for a number of years and we came up one time when my father was visiting and we all ate there and oh their seafood was wonderful uh-huh oh it is it's fabulous it really is good now where is the Atlantic Cafe Atlantic Cafe is down on i believe it's on McKinney oh okay um and originally originally the two the the guy who owns the Cafe Pacific and the the guy who owns the Atlantic Cafe were partners in the Atlantic Cafe and then they they separated and the guy started Cafe Pacific and i loved them both i really do i think they're wonderful that's our favorite you know what we'd really like if if we just have a a casual evening is Houston's have you been there no um but i've heard that's really good too and it's wonderful the only thing is you have to wait you have you have to expect to wait at least an hour so you have to go knowing you're going to be sitting there there for an hour waiting to get in and oh as long as you know that it's okay but they have i think one just about the best prime rib oh um anywhere in the area i love it oh okay but uh-huh and my husband really likes their ribs so it's hysterical we go in and we sit there for an hour waiting to get in and then we get there and we don't even look at the menu i know right away what we what we want yeah yeah you know right away what you want well we really enjoy prime rib too and uh actually the the Steak And Ale out here um we've gone to uh my in-laws also enjoy prime rib when they've had some of their specials on Sunday Monday or Tuesday night and uh the time we went the prime rib was really good uh-huh uh-huh was it really i've never i've i've been there for like you know lunch but i've never been there for dinner and it was good yeah uh-huh yeah yeah oh that's great that's great another nice place for for prime rib is Baby Doe's oh i've heard about that too but no we've uh i guess we eat out even less than i realize Maxwell's nice have you been there oh and i didn't think we ate out very often Baby Doe's is nice and one place i'd never been that i would really like to go to oh uh is Lawry's i've heard that's real good Lawry's Prime Ribs yeah yes i'd i had heard that too um i've i've never been there but i've heard it's real good have you been to the little uh not for prime rib but the Cafe De France um right here on Central Expressway yes yes actually they have one in Richardson that i've been to uh they have real nice lunches have you have you been there for lunch or yeah oh okay yes uh primarily lunch well and breakfast sometimes but uh during the week they often have a a limited menu choice but uh very reasonable complete dinners for six ninety nine that included the soup and or salad really really entrees and accompaniments and dessert and uh the my husband and i like veal uh a lot and their veal dishes have been good we've tried uh-huh different ones when they've had them as one of the the specials um-hum have you ever been to Biffin's i keep hearing about it i keep hearing the advertisements of it and and they keep saying you know oh it's wonderful it's wonderful i have not been over there and i was thinking you know it's supposed to be a family place i yes no over near Plano Super Bowl and uh i've i've not been there right and i haven't either uh one place and i've only been there for lunch but um i went with a friend and we met her husband um down on Greenville down near the Highway Twelve area is Gershwin's i've been there oh i we just we it was and we had the uh we both enjoy mushroom soup and Linda had told me they had the best mushroom soup and they did it was wonderful but um that was nice and we just had soup and salad so we could make room for the dessert uh which was a chocolate sack i don't know if you tried but or something oh i've heard of it where where it's made it's like it's like a it's all chocolate like made like a paper bag and it's filled with what whip cream and and strawberries and something yes it yes it had a sponge cake and whip cream and it had strawberries kiwis and raspberries in a raspberry yeah oh uh puree and we shared one the three of us and it was plenty because it was very rich but uh i wished i'd had a camera it was beautiful oh oh oh i bet it was i bet it was uh the last time we went to Cafe Pacific it was Father's Day and we took another friend with us and oh uh for dessert we thought we had just stuffed ourselves and so we had they had uh like a berry assortment it was it was raspberries and blueberries and and strawberries on a plate with like a custard on the bottom oh and you know they they did like the raspberry puree just kind of like in a in a decoration on the you know how they do the plates real fancy with the decorations and then piled the berries and shaved chocolate on top of it and it was outstanding it was really really relatively simple but oh it was good it was really good yes yeah oh it sounds wonderful well that's uh one of the things the that i do enjoy when you get a good restaurant uh i love fresh berries and their uh their fruits are always exceptional i don't i'm know they must have a special source for getting them because even at the Farmer's Market uh you can't find them like that and you can't find them yeah yeah yeah yeah you know i i'm originally from Connecticut and uh i was home a few years ago and my sister and brother-in-law were going to take us out for dinner and i was really amazed you know the the restaurants up there were kind of quaint you know they were real real pretty but they lacked the service and they lacked the atmosphere the just the i don't know the restaurants down here seem like they have uh i guess there's so much competition that they really have to be good uh-huh and i thought i would really miss that i would too because well i guess because we don't go out very often when we do go out um in a way it's like a little mini vacation i guess and uh it is it's a whole experience of course you want the fo od to be good but the atmosphere and service i think are important uh too uh-huh and you know in order to survive in this area i think they have to be good because the ones that aren't so good don't just don't make it yeah um that reminded me of a place for lunch that's a little off the beaten track but it is wonderful it's called Cafe Max and it's at Plano Road and Campbell they have the most wonderful salads they do what they call a salad sampler which easily could feed two or three ooh really okay um well it's not such a bad idea to think about judges uh you know taking the idea of uh uh sentencing in into their hands versus you know the jury especially if it's a highly publicized case such as uh you've got cases right now that are going on that everybody's very well informed of or have read uh certain uh things in regards to cases like the Dahmer case in Milwaukee and stuff so it's it may be an idea to think about you know cost trying to find a jury so you can get a jury as far as yeah um they may say they're not biased but deep down they are against against this person or whatever so um i don't think it's such a bad idea to think about so right that a that a a a judge would be more consistent from one case to the next and not not depend and and uh exactly not depend so much on the on the emotions of a particular case but be able to put it in overall perspective well i i i certainly haven't thought much about this but um um-hum yeah yes yes some of them some of them do and some of them don't but uh this one uh catches you off guard doesn't it i was trying to remember back it seems to me that that you know when i studied civics in school or stuff that this um-hum the juries being involved in the sentencing wasn't wasn't so much and i'm i'm trying to figure out whether that's i'm remembering wrong or whether that's a by state i didn't think they were either i thought the sentencing was done by the judge and it's either guilty or not guilty yeah yeah and uh i guess i guess uh and i don't know whether it's by state or whether there's been some changes Supreme Supreme Court decision perhaps that said that uh that uh as part of the trial by the peers that i had to include the sentencing or too or whatever i'd yeah but i um-hum yeah i i certainly wouldn't be uh uh worried about that i guess in terms of the uh uh you know having having a judge do it would seem to me to be more more fair and and uh unbiased uh oh sure yeah yeah in terms of doing away with the with the unanimous jury i guess i guess i uh would be a little more leery of that kind of a change in in a trial system that that's just a such a tradition that it's a that it's got to be a unanimous jury that uh exactly exactly i don't know where you'd where you'd draw the line anywhere else uh you know uh two thirds or three fourths or whatever but uh yeah yeah um-hum and and i i i certainly wouldn't feel comfortable with just a just a bare majority um exactly uh-huh yeah that's kind of how i you knows in certain cases i can see them going uh uh just basically with a judge guilty or not guilty verdict yeah yeah uh simply from a judge in highly publicized cases versus the small um maybe uh you did a crime that was uh burglary or whatever and it goes into the court case or whatever and it's not highly publicized but when you get into these highly publicized cases where everybody knows details whether it's through the National Enquirer or whatever whatever yeah um it's the idea that a person might initially have this thought well jeez this person's guilty no matter what i'm not gonna listen to the facts or and and yeah con their way into uh getting past the lawyers and and getting through that but um also there's the aspect of cost and i i'm not quite sure how much cost it does take for uh the judicial system to try and call a jury whether it's uh very costly or if it's something that's not costly or what you know being that i'm not in the that area i really don't know but i wonder yeah if there is some big expense in trying to call a jury to trial and then having to pay whatever they have to pay if there's something that they have to pay i know companies have to pay for these people to be off from work or at least give them the time off yeah from work uh whether it i think it's with pay if i remember jury duty is with pay well and and i'm i'd i'd i know it is i know it is where i where i work but i'm not sure that that's and uh it's not it hm that that's necessarily required uh you know by law that it has to be paid um paid right i suspect that's a that's a benefit of a bigger company but but there are certainly some um-hum some that may decide not to some that some that wouldn't uh yeah hm okay well originally i guess women were um in the house cooking and uh cleaning and all that good stuff taking care of children oh yeah oh actually the children they they don't have as many children these days that's right because they've gone out to work and they're um uh well the families of shrinking the divorce rate is up um they're still trying to get the pay that uh the men get um i guess even farther back um they uh used to not even have sports for the women um-hum and uh then the women starting wearing the tennis shoes and playing sports and going out to work um well i i was thinking too in terms of of in terms of this you know the education is so different i think women are so much better educated now than they used to be and i think that makes a big impact on what women do oh sure um also i was thinking the the clothing has changed so dramatically uh you know you like when you said with sports i thought well it was so limiting because of their clothes um-hum uh-huh they weren't allowed to to wear certain things and so then they couldn't participate you know they couldn't participate in sports because of it so um i thought that's that's made a difference uh uh-huh yeah well it's kind of ironic they're also these days they're trying they're working their way back into the house um-hum and they're trying to have the best of both worlds um-hum and they're just now figuring out in the Nineties that it's not quite working right and they can't have both yeah so um i guess they'll have to make a choice well i think so or spend part of their lives doing one thing and part of their lives doing another you know it right they'll just have to allocate that time yeah uh because you know because really it isn't that long a period of time that you have to be home with children uh comparatively speaking if you look look through your whole look at your whole life um and i do think there's real value in being in the home uh i do sort of both but um um-hum you know it it is it's an interesting topic i the thing that's been hard for me to believe too is that how long how short a time it's been since the women had the vote and that's always been amazing to me um-hum that that's been a relatively short period of time and i think that made a major impact on women's roles uh you know from that point on um um-hum well i guess the men have definitely figured out that women are as smart i there's a considerable amount more um there's a considerable more amount of doctors these days than there used to have been and of course you like you said they're more educated that's right and um uh we've we've uh brought quite a bit to the world well and it will be fascinating to see within the next twenty to thirty years how that changes even more i think the impact will be felt more and more as as better educated women come into the work force um and more and more women come into the work force um um-hum i you know it it's going to just change things drastically i think well some women are actually leaving the husbands home with the kids that's right that's right and well i don't wanna talk about the husband's changing roles but they're all they're learning to cook now and to do the laundry and uh all of those good things well i think that you know that one of the things that may come out of this is to let people do what they're best at you know some people uh may men may stay home with children better than some women may and so whoever um-hum you know whoever does which role best i think should do it um um-hum if if people can compromise and do that kind of thing um-hum that that takes a lot of yeah it's no surprise that uh movies like Dances with Wolves have come out in the Nineties uh-huh and their influence uh with the men um-hum and uh the changing of roles actually um-hum um-hum uh that was a very good example of women in the Nineties and what's a real man and a real woman you know they uh they do a little bit of both um the hard labor and uh yes you know the smart the uh all brawn and no brains on both sides that's right that's right well i think that's all i have to say do you have anymore nice talking to you thanks bye-bye okay well it was nice talking to you okay thank you bye um i don't i i am only twenty eight and i haven't had much experience with nursing homes i don't i have never visited any i don't think i've ever even been in one have you um actually i have um i've i've been in them but um just visiting and um we used to go when we're like in in our teenagers we'd go on Sundays and visit you know the older people but um i have a elderly grandmother that lives with us uh-huh and she's lived with us for like five years so i kind of know how it is to have to decide if you wanna put somebody in a rest home or um like we i mean we've had those discussions you know about should we put her in or because she's pretty senile and and it takes it takes a lot of care like twenty four hours a day someone has to be well like there's someone in my my fiance's family his grandmother too and they're yeah it's really that his her son his uncle whatever you know anyway he he has he recently retired and so he's the one who she moved in with when she had a stroke and and all the other children um are working or whatever they're all my parent's age and uh so he's got you know his retirement though is really twenty four hours a day they have a um-hum day care two days a week they call it senior citizen day care but she goes to the senior citizen center oh really so she he gets a break two days a week but it's only for like two or three hours at a time um-hum and you know just you see a lot of things like you you know was always a great golfer and wanted to play golf when he retired and you know that a lot of the things he thought he would do when he retired he's not able to do now right but he refuses to consider any other i i don't know yeah and is that how your parents feel or to put her in a rest home um well see it's more of my grandma that feels that way she says that when her husband died that he said uh-huh oh that my uncle had said that he would never have put her in a rest home so it's kind of uh i don't know i don't think my parents would but she is getting pretty bad like she has to have like a little toilet right by her bed it's and my mom has to take care of her pretty much so uh-huh it gets i don't know it's it's a hard decision but i don't think i would do it to my parents personally i know at this i know i feel like i would never do that with my parents either you know but i i really feel bad for the people i see that not very i'm not really really experienced but like i said just have that one family and that's really so bad for the guy who his whole life is different now and than he thought it would be but when he retired yeah and he's got you know seven brothers and sisters and and uh he's the one because he's the one that doesn't going to work everyday and that she moved in with when she needed to move in with someone and yeah and it's worked out good for us just because my uncle and my and my mom switch off like we have her for three months and then he has her for three months i can't say much oh well that's great that's a good idea we ought to so that that works out good yeah and maybe when the other brothers and sisters retire or whatever i don't know what they're gonna do it's really not my family it's my fiance's so i don't i can't say much but i always feel like i would never put my parents in either and i wonder i'm gonna be the only um-hum sibling that isn't gonna have children so if my parents do need to live with someone it'll probably be with me because all my brothers and sisters will be having teenagers around and everything to care for really you know and i'm i that's fine with me my fiancee i both figure that's what's we're gonna end up with both of the parents or whoever if it you know what i mean we feel like it's our responsibility and i feel like i would never put them in a home uh-huh but i wonder how much you know if one of us is gonna have to quit work someday or retire early or something you think about it and um-hum it's really i don't know this country kind of takes the worst care of the elderly of any other country and you think i i i'm not really familiar with how other countries it's really more of a um like a respect issue and that the older the older people in other countries that i've been to seem to really have a lot more respect for the elderly people and and they really seen as wise and and in this country nobody really they're seen as senile yeah nobody really pays attention and they oh the old timer made with the old way and nobody respects the traditions and you know it's i i'm not saying that i do either but you know it's just funny and and we really don't have any they don't have social security and everything really isn't that much for right um-hum elderly people to live on you know even if they're in good health it's incredible they don't have any they don't get special treatment and maybe they should you know because we're all gonna get old someday right um-hum i know so it's a it's kind of depressing topic though how old are you um i'm twenty so it is yeah and it must be rough for you too to see your grandmother yeah it's it really is but and she she drives us crazy do you have a pet yes we have two too many at the moment um what all do you have well we have a um a dog as a golden lab and a um cat and they're both driving us crazy actually they're uh huh lot of work just a just a lot of work and the kids seem to be in so many activities that the reason for having the pets were you know for them and they don't seem to have the time to to care for them so we're at a frustration point with our pets how about you um-hum i know how that it is because until like a few days ago i had a little Miniature Pinscher oh and um my parents finally took him to Miami where they are what and um it was kind of a pain because i was taking these classes after work so i couldn't leave my dog locked up you know all day and then all night so i'm glad they took him right yeah because otherwise i would have a big mess in my apartment when i'd come home you know that's for sure they're they're a big responsibility they're really fun for especially for the kids if they have the time to enjoy them but so um-hum um-hum boy uh it's a lot of work it seems um-hum but i'm i'm single so it would keep me company that's true you know there's something you to come home to and happy to see you well i i enjoy mine if my husband's out of town i enjoy having the dog just for you know he'll he'll bark if anyone comes around or um-hum protection um-hum that sort of thing so it is a comfort from that standpoint um-hum do the cat and the dog get along or yeah they do they um um-hum they get along fine but the cat doesn't get along with anyone in the family she every time you walk by she grabs attacks your leg and just hangs on and we've had cats before we've never had one like this so i i don't know what the deal is with this cat huh did you find it or did you buy it or huh no it was a gift someone gave it to us for my daughter's birthday so um hm and we you know we had been looking for one so we were hoping to get one but this this one is kind of been a problem we live across the street from a vet and he just can't quite figure it out either so hm um-hum it is kind of strange i wonder where they got the the cat from it was um from uh um Wills Point i don't know if you're familiar with huh-uh the town you know just outside Dallas and knew somebody that lived in the country so we're wondering if maybe if they were kind of a country outside breed you know um huh um um-hum maybe they're just a little too wild or something um-hum because that's what i was wondering if you found it or not because it sounded pretty wild yeah well huh that's interesting but um does your husband hunt with the dog or anything or no no he's not a hunter he he's always liked having big dogs but um doesn't work real well in the city with small yard um-hum um-hum um-hum when we um when we get got the dog we lived out in the country and she could just run and that was fine that that worked real well yep oh how neat um-hum but now that we're in the city it's kind of hard yeah hm how long have you been living where you live um we've moved here in January hm so just not quite a year um you said you're going to school um-hum um-hum yep i i'm just at the Albany Easy Learning Center work uh-huh um i'm just taking education and psychology courses i'm a teacher and i have a bachelor's in psychology so i'm just trying to brush up on stuff to be a better teacher oh good yeah oh well that's good well i i bet your your kids do you have pets in your classroom or you don't um-hum hum-um nope downstairs they have a gerbil and a a what fish i think like a gerbil and a fish but in our particular classroom we don't have anything we have plants yeah yeah seems like our kids have mostly had um guinea pigs and that sort of thing in their classrooms and that's kind of neat you know um the whole class gets to take turns taking it home and um-hum um-hum hm and that so a little visiting pet you can you can uh have the fun of it without the total responsibility um-hum yep but that's worked well can just mess up it's cage you don't have to worry about your whole apartment right really yep um have you been trying to call in lately and it's been the same topic no um let's see i'm trying to think the last time i called in was probably um no few days ago it was cooking or something it was what cooking yeah really because i've been calling in lately and this is uh my last call that i have to make i think yeah and um every single day for probably about a week it was gun control oh gun control and i was just about to freak out you know because i already talked with someone about gun control get tired of gun control huh uh-huh you only can talk so much about gun control so hm this is true yeah well um-hum well do we go until they cut us off or do you see anything wrong with public school systems well yes i do um i think i'm concerned about the large number of children that each teacher is expected to to deal with in some quality way i think maybe we've given our teachers a almost impossible job i agree do you do you have children in the public school system yes and i taught for fourteen years is that right before we moved to Texas and the the one thing i see is changing is i was held accountable so much i had to document and create a paper chase for all of my students and instead of spending my time coming up with creative learning stations and things like that i was filling out all these forms for all the children you you were a bookkeeper oh everything had to be documented and i had file cabinets that weren't filled with neat stuff for kids it was filled with documentation oh no well um i'm i have three years toward a teaching degree and am trying to get headed back and and i'm just really in a dilemma if that's what you know i'd love yes to work with children and to teach them but i'm really having questions if if i can deal with that system and and have a good conscience about you know what i do i don't think me too i don't think it's the teachers i think it's the system but um i think so too they're so worried about lawsuits and the scores that children get on tests now right and teacher competency you know and it's not like the teacher can just get in there and do her best she's always worried whose looking over her shoulder and what child's gonna say something some parent's going to overreact to that's that's right i know that's true well it's it's hard on the children too i think you know because the um the teachers are overworked and just like a mommy that's overworked you're not at your best you know um and that's right do you have children in the system i have two i have uh in the system one is in ninth grade and one is in seventh grade and them um i'm home schooling my kindergartner this year ah we um live in a district that has open classrooms and i wasn't particularly comfortable with that for her yep are you in Plano yep i am too and i have one in ninth grade at Clark and one at Hendrick this year and he my ninth my uh sixth grader came from an open classroom at Matthews yes you too and the very first year i taught back in seventy three we had open classroom and it didn't work then and when we moved down here i was just appalled that they were still doing it here oh still at it well the explanation i was was given about you know they they seemed to admit that it wasn't working but they didn't have the money to restructure but looks to me that it wouldn't take really that much money to at least come up with i mean some kind of partitions you know partitions or just to face the children different directions or to do something just yeah i know last year my son had to eat in the classroom because there was no cafeteria at his school so he spent all day in this one large open area oh goodness oh so i didn't really care for that it seems like the schools in Michigan were much better than they are down here were they that was our last tour up in Michigan well we were from North um Carolina and of course North North Carolina has a terrible reputation as far as education i think they rank about forty ninth but our children got a very good education there they were in the magnet school program oh um-hum and a lot of their classes from the time they were about third grade they they changed classes several times during the day which has its pros and cons but a lot of their classes there were only eight or ten children in their classes oh wow and it was wonderful so you know i'm coming to to Plano thinking well gosh it's going to be really great it's ranked so much better yes yes that's right we heard wonderful things about it till we actually got in the system isn't that interesting i i i don't understand how they get this this reputation unless it's just that they spend a lot of money i don't know probably so on publicity and letting realtors know and key people how wonderful the schools are i guess so well my son is at Clark this year too so uh we're yes so as a freshman yep and uh he's pleased with his classes um i i don't guess i've been in the high school long enough to to know what to expect really you know how to judge it uh yeah my daughter seems to be having a good time she was absent with strep throat the last three days and i ran over and picked up her report card and she did very good so well that's good and she seems to be studying and has just about the right amount of homework i would expect yeah for a freshman to have she's not bogged down but yet she has some every night well Eric seems to have quite a few nights where he doesn't have any so that's interesting but he his grades i haven't seen them yet but supposedly they're good so yes you always hear how good now my son's at junior high and says that his grades are going to be wonderful but who knows what he's going to bring home so i don't that's right okay i'll just go with you first what kind of eating out do you enjoy okay well i like dining out of course it means that i don't have to cook but um i'm a divorced woman i have one child and you know when when we dine out right um-hum we go to like medium priced restaurants i don't i don't particularly i think it's sort of a waste of money to go real to a real high priced restaurant um-hum do you go like home cooking like Black-Eyed Pea and that kind of thing or cafeteria um yeah um not really we go more for the um Chinese and Italian and stuff like that Mexican stuff that i can't cook yeah me too uh-huh Mexican uh-huh uh we do too we do the same what are your favorite places um well i like Chinese food um uh there's a little place down on what is that Coit Road um um-hum Chinese Pavilion or something that is really good and i like it and um i do i do like Chinese buffets uh-huh oh yeah well we go we've gone to August Moon and we think that was real good but our favorite when you have a little more to spend is to go to Taiwan or May Dragon uh-huh uh-huh and those are excellent they're really a nice place you could take someone to eat it's not the the rinky-dink Chinese decorations but it's a very elegant nice place to eat we go right uh-huh uh-huh very very often we go out for fajitas that's my husband's just gotten stuck and we go to On the Border oh uh-huh and lots of places that have uh i think Costa Rosa and some of those and get fajitas and he'll just eat chips till we've got three or four baskets coming back uh-huh and then uh last weekend we went out for Italian also and for some reason the cooler weather makes me tend to wanna go eat lasagna and garlic bread so we went to El Sorrento right uh-huh uh-huh have yeah have you ever um tried Pappasito's and it was fun you know what this is that's real funny you said that because we were coming back Sunday on Central from church and Bob pointed to it and he said i keep hearing good things about that place we're gonna have to go oh it is delicious that's what he said that in fact you're about the third or fourth person in the last month that said that um-hum so i guess we'll have to do it he it's you always stand in line when you go but it's worth the wait that's what that's what it D Magazine said that it said there was always a line but that's probably i mean that's a good that's a good sign um-hum uh-huh and have you ever tried um the Macaroni Grill up on yes we did now my kids didn't like it because they just wanted to get plain old spaghetti uh-huh or lasagna and most of those things were a little more northern Italy right and they like just the traditional they're not very that they're they're the Spaghetti Warehouse type right yeah yeah my little girl likes uh Spaghetti Warehouse real well it's real entertaining for her yes they are exactly exactly the place of the seventies um-hum yeah most kids do what do you ever go for steak just a steak and potato and salad bar that kind of thing um not really that's a steak something that i cook at home um-hum you know that that you grill out and i really don't particularly um yeah well i'm i'm real curious to try this one that has such horrid commercials the uh that Del Lincoln and oh what is that guy's name they do those real corny commercials hm it's um over there's one over there in Addison i can't remember his name anyhow it's some steak yeah it's some famous steak place over in Addison there's a there's a second one downtown and they have these really corny radio commercials but their steak their steak is supposed to be wonderful so i had i had not tried that my husband was saying that up north they have such nice restaurants where you can go after a theater or after the movie uh-huh um-hum and it seems like i've been we we found those one time and then they discontinued it was over in Addison and then they um closed up so most of these places are pretty much just uh theme restaurants around here hm yes right i think that's what goes you know really goes right now in the in the Dallas area of course you know down um-hum next to downtown up around McKinney and everything you know there's just a there's a different class uh-huh well that's exactly true that's right of restaurants up there that i can't even touch that's right yeah that's right you know it'd probably take my whole paycheck just to go in and have one meal up there but um that's even yeah that's right uh-huh i had a friend who was taken to Lawry's downtown for prime rib and i haven't been we usually don't go for beef really anymore we're we've gotten so used to doing chicken and things at home that that's that's usually the way we'll go if we're not going lasagna uh-huh uh-huh right um-hum um-hum yeah when when i go out it's it's normally to get um some specialty type of food besides you know because you chicken and steaks and everything i grill at home um-hum um-hum i know well i understand and and really it's they're a lot better than what i get in the restaurant that's right saves you a little bit money that's right and save you some money too well now what your what's your child's favorite place to eat um favorite place uh she has a lot Taco Bell yeah that's right oh yeah they're easy yeah well that's right mine enjoy that too they like to go pretty much where we like to go and they'll and then our favorite thing on Fridays we generally order pizza in so not Pizza Inn but pizza to our house um-hum right right uh-huh so we've done that well um is there anything else you'd like to discuss about it i think we've i think it's come to a nice conclusion so i'll talk with you later thank you bye-bye no not that i know of uh-huh thank you bye-bye okay what kind of pet do you have Gail well i don't i have children i have little children both of my kids are under two so right now we don't have pets but we've had lots of them in the past oh you have children have you uh what have you had um-hum well we had a dog before we moved here uh and we couldn't bring her with us we came from Colorado and we've had hamsters and fish and birds and oh well you're going to have lots of pets with your children growing up well we had a a Schnauzer that we lost this summer and he was fourteen years old and uh cats uh-huh we've had two Schnauzers and before that we had all Dachshunds and i think my husband wants another Dachshund and we're trying to debate because our children are grown and and uh i don't know whether we really want to be tied down to a pet you know another dog and we do have a very loving cat that's you know kind of our baby um-hum and uh and we like pets we like them around we have grandchildren that run through and they think we should have a dog and that's because they have a Great Dane which is huge um yes definitely well we you know if it um if it were just more peaceful you know with the little ones we would definitely have a pet i just think it's nice have around we had a cat though that had kittens so any pet that i get from now on will definitely be spayed or neutered oh yes yes because uh i did that experience was awful yes i have never wanted a that's why we've never gotten a female you know in anything and uh uh um-hum and our male cat you know we had uh neutered right away and course it he doesn't know it and he's still out partying um but um you know i do think that maybe we'll get a female next time and just had her have her spayed you know and uh well a lot of times now when you buy them from like the SPCA or yes and the humane societies or whatever their adoption includes their spaying yes yes which i think is a good thing it just breaks my heart to see these poor little old dogs wandering the streets looking starved and you know so hum-um um-hum it uh plus uh you know the safety factor and stuff well we enjoy having pets we uh you know i think they're a lot of company and and when my mother lived with us uh the cat was really hers and and he was kind of wild our our daughter found her and brought her to us and uh that cat walked in and walked right up to my mother and jumped up and curled up in her lap and she was the only one at first that you know could really hold him you know because he was really skittish but it was like he knew oh um-hum you know and he'd sleep with her and so he was a lot of company to her you know and and just love her and he's cats are usually so independent but this one you know he comes up and he crawls up next to my husband now you know uh yeah he's you know right before the dog died we have a queen size bed and the dog would sleep on my side and the cat would sleep on my husband's side you know and when everybody turned we all four of us turned in a row uh-hum my husband that's one thing he hated was our cat used to sleep with us our dog wasn't interested in even coming in our room but our cat would sleep with us and he hated that uh-huh did he um-hum he just thought that they belong and when he'd she'd walk on the couch along the back behind his head he hated that uh-huh so i guess it's probably probably if we get another animal it probably wouldn't be a cat even though i love cats i think it would probably be a dog and it would definitely be an outdoor animal uh-huh um-hum i think that's one of the reasons our because as i said our our Schnauzer was old and so he was becoming incontinent and so then i would generally have messes in the house and i think that's one of the things that both of us are not wanting to start over with you know um-hum oh yeah and uh and it was new carpeting and you know it just just really you know upset me no end and uh um-hum oh that would Greg's um my husband's grandparents have a dog and they just it needs to be put to sleep but it's grandpa's dog and he he is really getting too old to take care of it but the dog messes all over the carpet and my daughter is just nine months old oh and so then she crawls on the carpet oh the smell i mean it's just really awful and that's that's one real drawback but um-hum you know i guess you'll do just about anything for your pet if you love them enough yes you will you will you know we were trying to decide uh you know about putting him to sleep he was just you know he was getting so old and had that other problems too and and fortunately the decision was just taken away from us which made it a whole lot easier you know and and again going through that because our our animals are almost like our kids in some ways you know and and you grieve just as much over them when they go um-hum you know as you would a child and and you know our son and and his wife and our daughter and her husband the grandkids all say get a dog get a dog you know and i'm saying be quiet be quiet and and i can tell my husband you know deep down he you know he really well uh and that's an idea that's been around for kicked around for a long time i don't know that it's ever been seriously considered uh as far as close to passing uh any legislation or anything like that but i believe Israel does that don't they for their uh yes i think so uh people in the well everybody has to do has to do something or maybe maybe theirs is in fact one year of military service for everyone but uh yeah i don't know yeah i believe that's right okay and uh and i don't know that that's really what we're talking about uh no i don't think it's it's necessary no i think of that it it it couldn't be military service is not that much but military used to do it but the idea that uh there are things that that do need to be done that could be done and then uh country would benefit from one year from from everybody and even out the the yeah yeah for for kids in high school it could be in the summertime requirement well now that's a thought yeah uh you know um it it could even be done while they're doing another job while they're doing you know a job to make money yeah but uh it's uh you know such a grassroots idea that it it i think the family would have to be involved in it and and people would have to be convinced that um-hum you know i i think the the basic message is that giving is better than receiving yeah right and that's not the kind of society we have right now oh yeah i'm afraid you're right there but uh but uh anything like this it came up whether it it quickly would be significant industry in in figuring out how to get around it where yeah there are lots and lots of volunteer programs and um people who didn't wanna yeah but most of those are at least at least it it's my opinion that most of those involve uh adults um-hum adults who have the time to give and and uh you know the desire um-hum to to give yeah it's not uh you know it's not uh maybe the maybe it could uh younger people feel like it's not open to them i don't know but but it should be if it's not yeah uh i suspect that the yeah that that that that's not the thing that they that they don't feel it's open to them it's just that they uh are more self-centered if you will and not not considering voluntary preference yeah it is kind of an introspective time of life but some schools some high schools have actually started a program of like a visitation program to yeah uh you know areas economically uh um-hum say less advantaged areas and uh um-hum they they promote service on the part of the kids to to uh some of those people so at least that's a step in the right direction i guess yeah yeah at uh now i didn't i don't know it did i i think you're right that that that's not the not the way that the society these days is going and i i think we need to we need to try to figure out some way to to turn that around that everybody yeah it's really it's really unfortunate because when you do i do volunteer work for the American Lung Association hm and i have have done uh gone to work for American Heart and just recently for the Leukemia Society and there's there's no question that doing you know doing that kind of service you get a lot more out of it than uh than the people involved yeah uh it's it's really a gift to yourself and and that's i think that's a really a really important lesson to learn yeah and and and maybe that's why we have so many people in society who are not uh not really happy you know or that could be because if if you concentrate all of your energies and efforts on yourself you're just kind of down the tube you know yeah right uh really is better to give then to receive yeah i agree i agree with that and uh and i'd i'd i don't know what what what has what has set it off or what but it it it certainly seems to me that that uh uh things in in the last twenty thirty years uh things things have have definitely gone towards uh very much the concentration on self and and and loss of loss of perspective in terms um i kept a monthly budget for so long i don't have one now but i sort of know where it is i know where my expenses are and how much i have to cover them how about you well i don't have anything um a budget written down per se but however i i know exactly where my money goes for the most part as far as expenses yes um-hum uh-huh yeah do you do oh yeah i think in this day and time we need something like that don't we yes i keep hearing that we're supposed to pay ourselves first and set aside our savings first are you are you able to do that um-hum that helps doesn't it yes it does back when we were i'm i take it you may be past raising a family is that true yes that back in those other days we couldn't do that could we no other things came took priority like doctor bills and things like that um-hum that's for sure yeah um are you planning ahead for retirement through your your uh savings and things yes you know that's interesting because i was talking at someone in the office just this morning about the retirement and what we would like to have when we retire and how we're going to get there yes it's really hard to anticipate in advance what you think you're going to need okay and then try and plan now um-hum because things come up um-hum but i think now we're at the age where it's really very important well one of the things that my husband has he he works with financial things and uh he's been trying to you know he keeps saying well we need to sit and find out how much we want and and i think that's true but like you said it's hard to do um-hum one of the things that we've done towards that is um buy nursing home insurance have you all thought of that oh no i hadn't even thought about that we have investments to uh alleviate some of the cost of our old age hopefully in in terms of uh an apartment complex um-hum um-hum we've been partnership with uh some other people oh that's sounds that sounds good but it's not going to provide a whole bunch of money i mean it it might might pay the utilities um-hum um-hum you know at at that point in time uh and hopefully our investments with TI will help our retirement our retirement years well the uh if you have the retirement fund at place like that they're usually fairly good um-hum i know mine i'm we've gone through some mergers and my retirement has has ended uh the plan has ended three different times this year is that right so that's not very encouraging is it uh no because uh of the changes that came about in the government requirements and then in uh in merger requirements um-hum but um my husband was looking into the nursing home insurance is it's it's really is an investment you hope you never have you use but uh you have to be so careful of what it will pay and what it won't pay when you buy something like that in advance how can you be sure that well i guess you don't really buy into the nursing home do you oh no no it's an insurance policy you buy it's a policy that will pay for your nursing home should you need it um-hum it pays a set amount hum and uh and you talk to your insurance agent about there's special companies now that are doing it um-hum and they set them up i know ours is a set amount each year and it has a maximum amount over a thirty month period and uh it you know it has you need to read the policy and look into what it covers um-hum i guess i'm conscious of that because my mother's in a nursing home and uh i think we we learn from our experiences oh i think that's very true and that brings it more to home when it happens close to home yeah it does um-hum but uh i think one of the main things that we in the past always talked about was not having any major expenses to budget for when we do retire um-hum and if you got that covered i want to travel personally and i want to be able to get around oh yes oh yes don't we all right at least two three trips including a cruise every year at least at least at least you know well it sounds like we have some good plans anyway it would sounds like we do um-hum and uh you're you're leaning more towards investments and things like that to do yours then right i don't know how sound that is perhaps your way is is a is a more sound proposition you know well we do that too you know you can't then the insurance policies are just things to kind of buffer in case of unexpected things um-hum um-hum and that will always happen oh yes but uh the investments are something that you have to plan for and get your there was some new things hello hi hi my name is Leslie hi i'm Jennifer and where are you from Pennsylvania oh nice i'm from Dallas Texas oh really yeah so oh that's neat well did you understand what this was for you know what it was for what we um television shows sure that sounds good yeah okay i i don't watch too many but we can try it are you ready to start okay just a minute okay sure am okay i guess we're recording now yeah okay what are your favorite television shows well i don't really watch too many TV shows other than uh occasionally i'll i'll turn on Donahue because it comes on in the morning when i seem to be getting ready around here oh really and uh so if if there's no one else around you know it's just me and i have a chance to listen to something i'll turn that on but uh just for the for the conversation factor i think but and then i think i enjoy when i catch it i don't even know what night it's on but Designing Women sometimes oh i love that show yes that is great yeah do you yeah it's fun and then there's a new one that started out that i've caught occasionally a couple of times called Good and Evil i think oh i heard they just canceled that i read in today's paper they just canceled that show oh really it is a real different one it's um it's it's different i guess i watch it more out of the uniqueness of it and the time that it comes on more than the fact that i have to see it but have you seen the show it's it's new this year called Home Front no i haven't watched that oh it's it's really good it's um i think it's on like Tuesday nights from ten to eleven and it's set in post World War Two times uh-huh and it's about how the servicemen come home and readjust to civilian life here and the changes everyone's going through it's really interesting oh yeah it's kind of like a soap a nighttime soap opera type thing sounds neat it is it's a good it's really well written is that on what channel what station um i don't even know to tell you the truth oh okay what other shows do you like um i prefer Oprah Winfrey to Donahue oh yeah well she comes on later and i usually have kids around so i don't end end up watching that one is the only problem i have with it i guess oh oh i did watch soap operas but i work full-time now and can't catch those anymore yeah except when i'm home sick and now when i watch them i think why did i ever watch those that's right yeah they're stupid so when i did watch them i was addicted to them every day uh-huh but not anymore that can happen so do you know of any other shows in the evening or something that you enjoy oh um tonight i'm looking forward to seeing Golden Girls oh that's always fun yes i like that show yeah and if i can stay up late enough i like to catch Saturday Night Live every now and then oh uh-huh and right now we're watching a Penn State football game because that's where we live oh yeah so uh-huh it's exciting we're winning so that's really exciting yeah well i think i also course like to catch the news during the evening hours but uh it's a little tough because that's when i'm usually making dinner and the kids are wanting to talk all at the same time so usually i don't get a whole lot of news watching in um-hum yes we watch CNN in the morning while we're getting ready uh-huh for the day and eating breakfast we'll catch our news that way watch the weather channel so that we know what the weather's going to be like yeah yeah so what have you seen interesting on Oprah Winfrey lately lately i haven't been catching it because of my work schedule um um-hum i can't remember the last time i saw it it's been a while yeah well i don't know if we've talked our full three minutes or not i don't know sometimes they come on and and say oh that's right well today on CNN they were talking about something like this about um learning to recognize voices and words and stuff and the research that's going on which is kind of what we're doing helping them get a database for words hm yeah it's really interesting it is interesting do you work for Texas Instruments so uh no no just uh doing this as a fund-raiser for our church oh that's nice yeah so it kind of makes it easy you know to do a little something for it sure because we uh we've talked to a lot of people from Texas it seems so we thought well maybe they work from for Dallas oh do you have a do you have a personal computer yes i do i've had one ever since uh like oh nineteen seventy four i had several since then uh i built my first one from a kit oh A two or one of those L two uh it was an a S 100 bus uh model oh okay uh yeah i don't know if you remember the old uh MIPS computers yes uh well is out of San Antonio originally wasn't it uh San were they out of San Antonio i thought they were i thought they were out of uh uh New Mexico i really it it anyway i may be confused on that but i remember seeing the ads in Popular Science uh i bought my first one in nineteen eighty yeah um-hum uh what kind do you have now uh now i have uh just a regular PC clone oh it's the 8088 uh it's an old one i've had it for oh i guess five years now well uh kind do you what kind do you have well actually i'm between PC's right now i put my i i had an old one and i kind of got put it up on the shelf and i bought one for uh for the family use and i've given that one to my son it's a two eighty six a two eighty six clone uh an AT clone and i've given that to him and he has it up in his room which means i can still use it but uh that's right um-hum it's not readily available so i usually end up bringing home a we have a little portable in the office and when i need to do something i usually bring that one home um-hum is that the laptop type or the yeah those are real convenient a laptop yes they uh they're real convenient but sometimes they're kind of heavy to carry around because you get you know you get kind of tired if you have to walk a whole lot and i guess it's uh it's all what we get used to it's certainly better than to have a whole machine to take apart my first machine was um a Tandy model one or an old Radio Shack model one and um-hum yes that was like moving to take that apart yes sir it's still lighter bust box yes uh yeah uh i i sold model one uh model threes i guess for a while in my store oh did you yes i had a personal computer computer store for a while oh you did um-hum well that at the time that was a good business i think now it's pretty cut throat isn't it it's extremely cut throat now yeah i was uh you know it was sort of uh just before the uh IBM PC came out ah well i know uh my model one i put a lots of you know lots of hours on it but it was obsolete fairly quickly it became nothing but a word processor for me so i could do uh you know do letters and things like that at home and uh you know i had let's see i think i had about twenty seven hundred dollars in that little system because i had uh several the floppy drives and all of that right and you know twenty seven hundred dollars today will buy you a pretty well equipped four eighty six uh that's about right yes you can get a a real screamer for twenty seven hundred now it's amazing yes it's you look at the computer power that the you know the personal computers put on our desk compare it you know with the you know i guess the the first computer i used with a a 7094 or something like that and uh i mean you this is the you know you have more sitting in your desk than the whole building then yes um my little model one is a thirty two K and i made the great advancement of of uh kicking it up to forty eight K memory and uh you know that was just a big deal in those days my first computer came uh i had a four K memory board with with yeah it's four K four K oh did you ever wonder what you'd do all with all the four K well at that time i was programming an assembly language right uh and and i had a cassette tape for my memory yes for my storage i didn't have a floppy and uh it was uh you know you you there was you there was still a press to have more memory i mean grew went from four to sixteen and it made a big jump to thirty two and you know yes i uh i think i paid what did i pay i paid a a pretty good chunk of money something like thirty or forty dollars just to buy the chips to upgrade mine of course they it already had sockets on the boards because they had already uh um-hum you know they they had the board set up with the sockets in it so it it wasn't that bad but yeah yeah you know now uh machine i bring home has two megabytes two megabytes of RAM and well what do you know about Latin American policies well i think they're kind of ambivalent really uh i i just have a feeling that we've kind of talked out of both sides of mouths down there like we do in some other situations you know um-hum uh-huh we're we don't know half the time we don't know who to support are you uh relating this uh to the uh affair we've got going on in Haiti right now that and you know uh maybe it's maybe it's tough for a big powerful nation to deal with with uh countries like that that depend on us so much without you know just telling them running their country for them but right that that's just it it's got to be tough but i mean uh uh i'm you sure you still have to you know let them know how you feel right i guess my concern uh you know no matter which no matter which side we take we're gonna have supporters and we're gonna have uh antisupporters i guess for lack of better term and uh like you said they're such small countries that we're bound to upset somebody but we seem to be lacking the ability to take a stance yeah it it worries me that uh the economy of so many countries in in South America and Central America depend on something that that damages people like the you know like cocaine from Columbia and right right uh you know of course i i'm sure we have some enemies down there who would wouldn't care what happened to us but that's true but that is that's a tough deal and it i don't think that maybe i'm maybe it's you know i'm just reflecting how i feel about it but i have a feeling that we that we really don't understand basically the the the competing factions in a lot of those countries and i mean they've been hammering tongs for the last you know ten centuries sure and it's still going on and uh we we dabble in it just enough to make both sides angry at us i think sometimes that that's about the lump sum of it well um i was speaking with a a woman from uh uh i believe she was from the Honduras or Guatemala or somewhere in there no she was from El Salvador yeah and uh she was from a relatively wealthy family and when uh the Contras came into power of course with uh oh gosh darn it what's his face he's in in Florida jail now Marcos yeah yeah uh no he's Marcos is Philippines yeah um well i'm blank i can see his face i mean how could you forget his face well you know who i'm talking about yeah i i know it uh anyway when he came into power he basically just took everybody's property you know just assigned it to himself yeah kind of nationalized it right right and uh for himself so she's been a real strong supporter of the Sandinistas and has been trying to back the US government in that respect and i in that respect i have to agree that i think we're taking the right stance uh because they were a democracy yeah turned uh dictator yeah you know right basically a dictator fascist and it seems like those countries are so easily susceptible to that kind of thing it just sure you know unstable well what do you think of uh this uh US free trade agreement we're working on with Mexico well i think it's long overdue uh i just you know there's so much difference in in the economies of the two countries i i'm not you know i have a problem uh um-hum with whether it's gonna work or not you know there's uh it seems like there's and i this may be unfair to Mexico but it seems like there's a lack of honesty in in in in foreign policy a lot of the times um-hum uh Mexico they're i i know they're trying they're really trying the Mexican government is trying and a lot of the larger Mexican businesses are trying to oh make themselves Americanized i guess yeah and uh which is great because that's what they basically need to do the big problem with the United States is we have our basic nine to five schedule you know and we don't have the Siesta and there's the cultural differences is what yeah yeah is what's kind of it's what's really hurting uh the Mexican the Mexican people because they've had their way of life and we've had our way of life and uh i think there's their version of the good old boy network going that uh you know has a lot okay Vic our topic is budgets yes do you keep a monthly budget uh i talk about doing that a lot welcome to the club uh i i use a uh computer software program to keep track of all expenses primarily it's a checking uh-huh you know a check balancing program but it does categorize categorize everything oh how interesting and and it allows you to either to go in and create a budget and then compare against it or actually will sort of generate one based on you know how you categorize things over the over the months oh so i have all the information there um it's just that i haven't been very diligent at at really tracking it and following it well uh it's just like the money it's hard to keep track of it as it goes out right right what do you do uh i'm a teacher and we're at a my husband and i are at a stage in life where we've got one left in college okay um-hum so budgeting is not our priority since we have one in college their expenses run beyond any budgeting allowances right okay okay we've quit um well the biggest problem that i've had or one of the one of the problems is um keeping track of cash expenditures you know expenditures yeah uh i think that one of the things that's uh makes budgeting very hard is the convenience of automatic teller machines uh the ability to go up and get cash so easily okay i see i stopped those four years ago yeah really okay well see you have control yeah oh yeah now we are you know um well we're at a point in life that we're looking to retirement rather than you know earnings um-hum so it's gotten to the point where um yeah automatic automatic teller i only had the card and it was on my own personal account and it got way out of control very fast okay huh so i have a tendency now i take an allowance and when it's gone it's gone you know i'm finished if it's gone the fifteenth of the month then it's gone well that's pretty good uh-huh it's gone huh oh that's great and uh we have a tendency not to use cash we pay everything by check right yeah that's a good way to do it and so that way we we keep control of what we're spending where it's going what it's going for um-hum well that's great so um you know it i take a hundred dollars a month that's all i take and you know i mean i don't buy groceries out of it it's my own little oh wow slush fund if you wanna call it that and that's for my little incidentals or running to the grocery store to get a you know gallon of milk or whatever um-hum yeah right but um after that it's check only right so we can you know really know where our money's going and you know what's happening um-hum what about how are you on charge cards uh pretty good about that that the last few years anyway we did have a Master Card that got out of hand for awhile but we just just stopped using it didn't get rid of it good there are times uh such as oh some mail order type things uh where it's very convenient to have yes uh but that's really the only thing it it's used for and uh one one problem i do have is with uh is it i in my job i travel a good bit and have to use my own uh credit card i don't have a business credit card okay so i use that and then have to file expense reports and uh it just adds another complication to properly tracking expenses knowing how much of it is reimbursed business expense uh or how much is my own expense for well yeah i i use uh credit cards not for credit but just for convenience in other words i pay we pay monthly the balance due uh but we do okay yeah well this might help you because see my husband travels as well uh-huh and we have separate charge accounts okay he's got an American Express and that's only traveling okay then we both have a Visa or MasterCard okay so anything on his American Express is his that's a pretty good way to do it and it's his expense now he gave me one and if i go with him on work um-hum um-hum i only charge on that card i don't put it on my MasterCard okay right so we've separated those two completely and i know what you mean because at first we used to intermingle our funds and we weren't sure why our bills were outrageous um-hum oh yeah it's hard to be sure to be sure right you know because his traveling expenses were you know i mean he's a traveling salesman so we're looking at six five oh boy okay uh what what is it what does camping mean to you and and what camping have you done oh we've done a lot of camping actually that's one of our favorite pastimes um to us camping is is a combination of tent camping as well as environmental camping hm um and i think that really what it means to me is being outdoors in a sort of a wilderness environment and being able to enjoy nature what does it mean to you well what uh uh what what do you mean by environmental camping um there are a number of environmental cabins near where we live that uh offer some sort of dwelling some sort of um security from the elements but there's no electricity no heat no water oh okay but yeah that's neat i'm not not not had that available uh anywhere that i've lived at well uh first oh yeah State Park System i think is probably what supports a lot of those they're they're state as opposed to county facilities what what state is that California California okay i'm in Texas and uh uh oh but most of the camping that we've done we we spent uh ten years in New England uh and my wife and i did a lot of tent camping before uh our first oh uh-huh uh boy was born uh there in in uh state parks in uh New England and uh uh-huh uh-huh here here in Texas there are are state parks where they have uh uh what shelters they're called uh they're wood frame on a concrete slab but screened in uh-huh kinds of of shelters and uh but they have uh electricity and uh water at those cabins and there there's cabins i see actually in the cabins so it's like uh a a sink well that's the no the uh there's uh one outlet and a light in the cabin uh an overhead one overhead bulb and then just outside the cabin there's a uh faucet uh coming up out of the pipe coming up out of the ground so that there's access to water like that uh um-hum um-hum in in Texas what are the camp parks like if you go tent camping are you near a real wooded area or does it tend to be more um plains well uh no it's it's the the ones that i'm familiar with are are basically uh basically wooded areas uh Texas has an awful lot of uh man made lakes uh-huh and uh uh tend to be uh wooded areas around those lakes i'm in i'm in Dallas northeast uh um-hum uh-huh what a difference from New England though i bet yes yes oh yeah yes yes there there you could uh you know depending on what kind of camping you wanted why uh you go an hour in a different direction here you go three hours in any direction and it's still about the same so uh that's a difference but we also uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh well what's it like camping with your son when he was young well well we didn't we took a break from camping uh for with the the uh boys until they uh they got into uh scouts basically and uh and then our biggest one we we rented a uh pop up tent trailer uh-huh uh several years ago and went up to uh the Black Hills and back down through the uh uh Colorado uh Rocky Mountain National uh Park and uh oh wow that's a pretty area uh-huh Colorado Springs area and so forth Pikes Peak and that was a that was a lot of fun uh-huh i bet it was for them too it's been an experience uh with our daughter who's turning two in a couple of days because she was probably six months old the first time and we had kind of missed camping yeah oh okay well i the last time we'd camped before she was born i think i was eight months pregnant because we like stretched to the very end and that was a little rough in a tent but uh she's actually done very well and has enjoyed it a lot even even as a little uh-huh yeah yeah little kid so it's been kind of fun uh trying to adjust our routine and and doing it with with her as she grows up yeah yeah and i'm sure it'll be a lot different when she has a chance to really participate more right right at at at at at two she's old enough to walk but not too far i would guess and and which is what your kids have done right and she's fairly cautious so we're not too concerned about her running into the poison ivy or whatever yeah well right right but you also don't do a lot of of hiking associated with the camping i i presume yeah yeah well that that sounds good sounds good exactly uh staying close to the camp ground and uh well it sounds like you've um continued it no matter where you've been and how your family's grown so that's my aspiration as well yeah yeah and uh uh and and uh although it it after a while it gets uh with teenage boys at this point well one's uh in college but uh uh oh wow cool uh it it turns different in that uh the problem becomes one of getting getting time when they're available and don't have other activities uh right right well i guess it okay well what do you do on your yard well ah typical lawn stuff Saint Augustine ah with a little Bermuda mixed in in some of the sunny areas uh um-hum uh-huh and really all i do to it is uh in fact i didn't even fertilize it this year i just mowed it and i i mow it uh you know with a mulch mower so the the particles fall down yeah comes back in the yard so you don't have anyone do your yard you do it yourself yeah we do too i do it myself have a lot of people trying to do it for me but hey i need the exercise so what the heck isn't that the truth all flyer's on every door everyday that's right well we um we my husband does the same thing he does the yard and he wants me to learn how to work the lawn mower but i keep putting off learning hey you've got the right idea that's right but i had recently gone out and planted mums so we had decided to paint the front of the house about three weeks ago and so while my husband was painting i went out and bought about fifty dollars worth of mums over at Calloway's um-hum and put out yellow and bronze and they just gorgeous and so then last week my mom comes in town and she says well those are gonna die just the first frost she said you should have done pansies and i went well now you tell me so that first night that on Halloween we went out and covered them with a sheet and they did okay that first night but the second night we were at the movies and didn't do it so i guess i've lost them yeah i haven't gone out to check yet yeah i wouldn't don't blame you i wouldn't wanna look at them oh listen but um the worst problem we've had here with this grass was about the third year we were here i guess it was about four years ago and we did not know in August to put down the uh whatever it is for grub worms uh-huh and the next spring i guess in that March every time we would go out and just try to walk on the grass or reach down to pull a weed we'd have big whole patches come up have you ever seen it yeah yeah what grub worms do and we pulled up almost half of our yard just by raking it it would just come off in the rake down to the dirt so we had to go out and resod the whole thing with squares and wet it and put it down and rope it off everything it took a lot of money and a lot of time so the most careful thing we do on our yard every August is put down that Diazanon yeah you you you think that's what it was uh mulch mulch mulch okay well oh yeah we found them yeah we found them we dug under there about an inch and you could see them they're real fat old white things and they said they turn into black bugs in the spring yeah yeah those kind of brown uh June what we call June bugs and some people call them May beetles and yeah yeah yeah but in but in the whole um-hum yeah June bugs is what i'd heard them called so anyhow occasionally i find them in the flower beds they said that every yard has some but it was a preponderance of them that caused our problem oh yeah so that's the number one thing we do whether we fertilize or anything else just because we got burned so badly before yeah well i had some of that problem but mine was freeze it oh yeah that too you know two years ago or last Christmas is that what you're talking about yeah um-hum yeah yeah and i'm still replacing i'm still replacing that in the back especially under the trees um you know kind of slow and and as you say very expensive um-hum yeah i caught Wolfe with ah ah one ah one of the sales where they have those big blocks for fifty cents and i i bought about twenty of them and oh yeah i bet you did too and put those down in the spring uh well i put that you know that was laid that was like or the fall yeah because i started to say you can there's different times they say it's okay to do it yeah that was like September i think and i had to water it you know gosh yeah yeah keep it damp well my out here you know we don't have as many trees in Plano at least the area where we're over by Collin Creek Mall and but a lot of the shrubbery that we have in the front like the pittosporum all died and all those variegated uh things died so we pretty much go with that dwarf yaupon and that yaupon holly and they just live yeah you can you can stand those yeah they're pretty tough uh pittosporum is kind of borderline here and usually it'll do pretty well but uh you know every once in a while we get one of these really cold deals and it it zaps it um-hum yeah well it's kind of like one of these it's oh wax leaf wax leaf ligustrum is the same way same way um-hum that they warned me of that one finally and i said you know you need to either read Neil Sperry's book before you shop or get a reputable nursery because a lot of places that would are just trying to sell whatever was pretty out there and we didn't know the difference and every year we learn one more thing we didn't know before like about these mums it's like okay next year i'll do pansies yeah your list is growing yes and my backyard we had it really nice and then my husband wanted a Labrador puppy and so it was about i guess he's three now so the first summer he was here he dug up all of my oh yeah oh gee bushes and plants and brought them to the front door and the back door and laid them on the patio so it's like our backyard is just kind of like as long as he won't damage it fine and if he'll if there's anything he'll hurt we just don't put it out there anymore um yeah kind of cuts your possibilities for flower beds down um-hum very much very much i had a i had a small vegetable garden that uh it did pretty well it's it's like on the side the apron of the of the parkway out behind the garage and uh there's our our garages come in from the back you know from the alley you did huh uh-huh so do ours yeah and uh it's it's that little piece of land over there well i had uh tomatoes and and uh uh peppers what did you grow and i had had okra and cucumbers by the fence i had cucumbers that is amazing which which didn't do real well uh they kind of came out looking like gourds yeah well put them in a salad though you say well i made it though at least it's mine yeah but i had squash i had zucchini and and yellow crook neck squash okay um i'm very unhandy in these things and uh i don't like to do anything myself yeah i like to have a service station i can feel confident about yeah i uh which is problematical i've been working on my car since or actually on on cars since i was probably about fourteen um-hum uh i've i've got a sixty six Mustang out in the back that i've been trying to get running here lately that's given me a lot of problems and the the clutch and stuff isn't working out right and every time i try to put the battery in it doesn't have enough charge on it so i have to take it over to a friend's house and get it charged up again try try it again it rained here all last week so i didn't get a chance to do it oh is it is the problem that it's hard to get the appropriate battery and other types of things for a a sixty six car uh no it's not i don't know exactly what it is with the battery i think it's just that every time i charge it up it it has to sit i i i went and got a new battery and brought it home and then it sat there for two weeks so i went over to a friend's house and charged it up and then it started raining so i haven't been able to do it for another week so i'll have to take it over there and get it charged again and maybe i'll be able to see if that won't get it going tomorrow but uh but my main problem's been my clutch i is do you rely on this car for for primary transportation or just excuse me i'm supposed to i'm sorry i said i said i'm supposed to it uh it's been down for quite some time now and i been having a lot of trouble with it so are you struggling to get around as a result yeah i have to rely on friends and parents and stuff like that so you you don't do any kind of car work or i try not to um try not to anyway yeah i can understand that i suppose i ought to learn to change the oil and things i can save a lot of money doing that yeah i think i can understand that i it's not the most fun in the world but it it like you said it is it is cheaper on yourself to to go ahead and do it yourself than go spend fifty sixty dollars to have somebody else you know just change your oil or something like that i mean it must be great to to to really understand what's what's going on and you can both do things yourself and talk confidently with people when you have to take it somewhere to get parts or whatever yeah yeah that's that i think that's what my next option is if the if the clutch doesn't work right to take it to somebody and see if they can't decipher what the problem is i i have a feeling maybe it's just that i've i've put too strong of a clutch in it because i've got it's a it's a straight six two hundred with a three speed transmission in it and i've tried to put a racing clutch in it which i think is gonna you know i think that may be what my problem is it's it's too much clutch for the amount of engine i've got but uh we'll see was it easy to get a more appropriate clutch pardon yeah it's it i just go to my neighborhood parts store and get another one it's that when i when i had to rebuilt engine engine rebuilt i decided to try a um a better clutch so that i'd quit changing them out every six months i i have a slight lead foot you have a slight a slight lead foot yes it means it means i've always got my foot in the gas and and and the other one in the in the clutch so i i burn up the clutch a lot oh it's not good for it but uh um any any questions you have about uh anything anything easy to to work on or whatever or are you trying to get yourself into working on cars or what well the car i drove is an eighty four and it's reached the point yeah where various things are are going wrong with it and it's had to be in recently yeah it needed a new battery it wouldn't start um yeah my wife and i did manage to to uh recharge the battery from the other car um and the exhaust system has needed work and um yeah uh so the latest work done it just yesterday was to have the front wheels aligned yeah uh so we've been spending don't don't don't tell me let me guess your warranty just ran out and now everything goes wrong right yes in fact in fact on the battery uh uh it's the old one it had a four year warranty and the day it gave up was four years and six days typical i i don't i don't know what it is somehow another car manufacturers and the manufacturers of new parts for them uh they put their warranties on there and they know exactly when they're gonna run out when the when the part is gonna is gonna break down hi this is Donna Donahue hi Donna ready to get started hi ah yeah i think so okay sort of an interesting topic since i just got back from lunch here oh okay well what did you have for lunch oh it was uh it was i'm an officer in the Air Force and we went to the Officers' Club for a little Mexican food today oh oh well that's interesting okay so our topic is is food today is that okay yeah yeah yeah if you're having a dinner party what what would you serve okay uh do you want me to go first sure okay if i was having a dinner party i would probably um have some um some uh um some fruit to start with with some apples sliced up and maybe some cheddar cheese and crackers and grapes and um probably serve maybe some wine and beer and maybe have some ah ah salsa and chips around and peanuts and then i would have um let's see i usually have like a little theme when i have a dinner party so um i would have maybe um say if it was like Greek night or something um maybe um on the barbecue we'd put um uh-huh uh-huh cubes of lamb or i guess lamb used for Greek and um like a shish kebab and um mushrooms and tomatoes and onions and then we'd have um uh-huh like a big Greek tossed salad kind of like a Caesar salad and um let's see what else um maybe some rolls and um i guess some um some rice or something like that um-hum jeez well well when's the party here how's that sound yeah um yeah that would take some planning but i don't know being a being the bachelor here that i am i i don't think i i'd be nah nah it i mean it it's not a question of capability here to do something like that it's just there's there's no motivation that's right you know i wanna i wanna throw some charcoal on the grill and and throw a steak on there and some baked potatoes and stuff like that but um oh that sounds good too but i have um i have three kids so um uh-huh when we have friends over i have my oldest kind of babysit for the little two younger ones upstairs and um usually we just have very plain kind of you know interesting not very interesting meals pizza and that also uh-huh once in a while when we do something like that it's kind of fun but it's not a not a regular thing yeah um now we supposed to talk for about five minutes is that it okay yeah it yeah that's what they they're shooting for here okay um let's see now what okay so you would have a barbecue wouldn't well i live on a i live on a lake here and uh so uh-huh it it during the summertime it's real nice to be able to entertain outdoors like that's a little more ah casual thing but in mine in the wintertime it's not bad too because then i've got a oh sure you know fireplace and a nice nice house and all that so it's uh uh really good place to do entertaining like that i just haven't uh really tried a whole lot but uh uh-huh oh that sounds wonderful uh-huh i don't know let's see i have had well one time i did have a dinner party i served a uh uh had a gang of people over and kind of made a fried chicken thing and biscuits and kind of southern uh southern food even though i'm up here in New York so i um-hum oh oh you're in New York right now oh i'm i'm in Texas i didn't know this was all from all over the whole country oh i see and i'm from originally from Long Island yeah oh yeah yeah it is it oh no kidding yes and now where are you in New York upstate Rome a Griffins uh Griffins Air Force Base oh upstate oh okay oh okay is that where you you're originally from around there well i was born in Buffalo and uh been all over the place oh okay oh wow that's interesting okay let's see um well i like to have um sometimes when i have a dinner party i'll have um everybody bring something yeah and that's real interesting because then you get different um different kinds of foods and new recipes and um ah sometimes somebody will bring something that you really like and get recipe from them and whatever right and we just getting interested in in Mexican food because here in Texas they have lots of really good Mexican restaurants and um uh-huh sure we're we're just getting into the fajitas and all that stuff that you could do you know what a fajita is yeah okay yeah yeah i've been down to Texas a few times and uh had uh the pleasure of their good Mexican cuisine down there yes they have some delicious delicious things and i um sometimes make uh chicken burritos that just take chicken breasts and you boil them maybe like four chicken breasts and you boil them till they're cooked uh-huh um-hum maybe like thirty minutes and then you debone them and and kind of shred them up if the meat's gotten cooled and you take um salt little bit maybe two tablespoons of butter and a frying in a big frying pan and chop up some onion and put in oregano and salt all right what's what's the last thing you had done Bernie oh the last thing i had done or did let's see um was getting a an old seventy eight Jeep Cherokee ready to trade in uh-huh and uh so i was basically just going around and doing what i could do fixing door locks and checking the transfer case fluid and things like that i'm kind of a motor head myself so this topic's actually pretty good for me uh-huh huh um i got a seventy Chevelle that i'm restoring too so it's uh there's constant work going on to that car yeah so you do a lot of a lot of repairs for yourself yeah yeah yeah i didn't uh used to do too many repairs but i got we ended up with a real old uh car that kind of needed constant repair just to keep it running sure and um it got to be too expensive to take it in so i started uh i guess the first thing i did was replace the starter you know i did sparkplugs and things and and then i had it needed a starter so i replaced that needed a water pump so i replaced that uh-huh and uh just about a week or two ago i had to pick change an intake manifold gasket which was which for me is you know i mean i'm i'm forty i'd never done much auto repairs until about the last year or so so talking about taking the carburetor off and the oh wow uh-huh right i mean that's some that's some serious work not only uh i mean you have to have a yeah i mean you have to have a knowledge of quite a few of the the systems there to to do that what i mean that yeah yeah it was uh it was yeah well i didn't have i don't have much knowledge of the systems but i just kind of know you know i i make note of when i take a anything off and bet you can and uh so you know generally if you just kind of make make note of where everything goes as you're taking it off uh you can yeah have you tried any like the Chilton's uh manuals no huh how are they oh i i recommend recommend them i've uh used i uh i have a Chilton's manual on my Chevelle and every anytime i undertake anything it i start start with that that book uh-huh well does it tell you kind of a step-by-step how to type of thing oh it does huh yeah yeah yeah they're they're pretty good um the only problem i've noticed with them is that when i started working on cars i um yeah uh didn't really have much knowledge of them at all and and you know it's hard the language of motor automotive mechanics is a language all it's own and just the names of some of the parts you know they tell you to put the wrench on something and um-hum yeah yeah i have trouble with that trying to talk to people at parts shops shops now you know yeah you know and it took a while before you figure out what everything is and uh and what you are supposed to be doing with it but i i think it's a lot better than than starting from starting cold and that's for sure yeah yeah what kind of uh well you pretty well do everything no yeah yeah i used to uh pay to have tune-ups done and uh oh brake jobs and things and kind of had to do them on this old car and and uh uh-huh i i don't think i'd ever pay to have someone put plugs and and things in and the brake changing brake pads is that was easy oh i know brake job that was nothing that was nothing i you know i didn't have to bleed the lines down or anything but it looked like if you were just um it looked like in most cases you probably couldn't get air in those lines is is that right right well i i don't know i've get i've gotten the Chevelle i've did done the brakes all the way around it myself and uh yeah that was easy well this this one's got drum brakes though drum brakes drum brakes are a little bit tougher than disc brakes but um but still it's not anything that that okay tougher yeah you know it's just a matter of putting the parts in the right place and there isn't really anything you can do wrong to it um yeah yeah and those ones did have to have the lines bled though but but bleeding the lines is just a matter of uh you know just having somebody on the uh pumping the pedal the brake pedal for you and when it's they did yeah and you just open a a valve of some sort until till fluid comes out i guess yeah yeah yeah exactly yeah well that uh the disc brakes i mean that you know i i used to pay like sixty seventy dollars to have that done i spent spent ten bucks on pads sure yeah and it took a couple hours and they just they just snap in basically i mean it was it was uh it was easy yeah yeah there's no not not too much trick for that yeah they're uh buy i just this new vehicle i buy i just bought a ninety one GMC Sonoma which is a little pickup truck with a and i'm wondering when the time comes for the maintenance on this thing how much i'm gonna be able to do myself and yeah how much is going to require all their diagnostics and all that yeah it looks pretty simple i used to have an eighty five Chrysler Laser and this one certainly looks a lot more simple than than that motor um-hum but uh i haven't i haven't gotten into fuel injectors and things like that and that thing's fuel injected so i don't know what uh um yeah how that will will be the only thing i've ever done on a fuel injector is replace the hose on it it was leaking so i don't know huh i like the old cars open up the hood on my Chevelle and there's nothing under there but a big motor and uh and you know no seem to have the topic already on top of the tip of your tongue there so why don't you go ahead and start yeah isn't the uh the subject auto repair for tonight yeah that's great yes sir reason i say that is pretty timely because just tonight i went out and changed the oil in my car and that's something i like to do and uh something i okay something i can do with now the sophisticated auto cars we have today with all the computers and everything right exactly it's uh and there's not a whole lot you can do without the equipment and electronic analysis that needs to be done on a car but i do like to get out and tinker with a car and it's something i can do still do you enjoy working with your car i sure do i uh in fact the last thing i have i've done i can't i don't even remember what it is i've had to have oil changes done myself because i live in an apartment complex where we're not allowed to work on our vehicle we can't even wash our vehicle so oh dear oh that's too bad uh but the last thing i can remember doing where i had a sixty six Mustang and that was all right because like you said that was pretechnology days i guess ooh oh yes and uh you know you could do a lot of it yourself still and uh i didn't tinker too much with the engine it was it was in pretty good shape but my main concern and what i enjoy doing was was the interior and uh it was it was pretty shelled uh but it was fun it taking the whole thing you know the whole interior apart and ordering new carpeting and oh uh and did you install all that yourself right and well that was i bet that was a lot of fun it it was i my wife enjoyed uh she you know helped out a little we sanded down the the insides of the door panels um-hum and painted those and wow do you still have the car no i sold it well that's too bad A sixty seven Chevrolet uh Mustang is about the uh top top year for the Mustang car yeah it was fun though it was fun i i really enjoyed it and i was surprised at at uh the availability of parts yet yes you know you can you can still get factory original parts hm but uh you pay a premium but you just don't get them i i didn't i went ahead and got you you know Japanese made duplicates or wherever they were made Canada you know prefabs and all that stuff but yeah well it you know that's that's fine i i don't think that there would be uh you know a a quality difference i don't know you wouldn't you didn't notice the difference did you well actually there was oh and uh i had heard rumors that it was because they couldn't duplicate certain patterns uh exactly um-hum and so like the the glove box was just a little little wider little harder to fit in and the carpeting uh oh dear um-hum stretched a little too far i had to cut some of the sides down oh dear but just just little things you know one of the screws on on the door regulator uh window regulators you could get three of the three of the four to lineup the fourth one you couldn't get to lineup no matter what you did oh i bet that was frustrating wasn't it you know thing oh it was but the end result is after you put your your panels on nobody sees that you got one screw missing in your your window regulator anyway and it it runs it works just the same so right right yeah that's that's true well you know that that is something i really enjoy doing um working on our car too the uh i just changed my oil oil tonight but uh i enjoy also working on things like the brakes and uh in fact just two weeks ago i helped my neighbor out on his brakes on his car and uh either if it's a drum or or disc brakes i enjoy working on those kind of things disc brakes don't seem to give me too much problem but i i honestly i don't have the tools for the drum i know you got uh certain spring lever that you got to have or some uh some spring pulley or something that you got to pull that spring back over onto that notch yeah spoons and yes you do uh my dad's got all that and and i i helped him when i was growing up but i don't have that stuff now comes to drum brakes i um-hum yeah you know don't have any choice but to take them in yeah that's true and you know it it doesn't doesn't hurt every once in a while to have them done professionally too because um i was helping my neighbor out and one of his drums needed to be resurfaced and i don't have of course the equipment to do that so he took it into a shop and had it resurfaced uh resurfaced and and fixed that way but yeah it is true uh you know sure i did have a sixty four Ford truck that i wish i still had and loved to get inside that and tinker around with it and work with it because you didn't have all the extra extra stuff that's in there now uh-huh i'll tell you what the other the nicest thing about them is uh everything was standard you didn't have to worry about finding a metric anything oh yeah boy i tell you and you know now then what is your idea on what to serve for a dinner party um i don't know i i i personally don't throw a lot of dinner parties per se um well if you were just gonna have company what would um generally if i'm gonna have company something fairly easy for me to fix you know nobody wants to go to too much work um probably say it you know if it's more than say four or five people probably a like a a a fish dish or something or or a a pasta pasta dish well what kind of pasta what pasta dishes what is your specialty in pasta um generally uh the homemade pasta the wide whatever they call that stuff the wider homemade pastas do you yeah do you make your own yes ooh that must be interesting yeah it uh it's fairly easy you just make the dough in the old Cuisinart and roll it out and there's there's a we've got a special machine that you you roll it out and then it cuts it also and hang it over the drying rack okay do you ever um since we're coming into the holiday season do you ever do desserts um actually about the only dessert i i generally fix is some form of pie or a buttermilk pound cake i those the only kind of desserts i really like messing with anything anything more difficult than that is is generally a pain to me i i just don't like to take that much time and stand around and do it do you um do you care for the fruitcake no not at all i i i can i i can stand about a piece a year one piece of it a year but i i don't like to just eat it it's okay i have come upon a recipe several years ago that is the now i don't care for fruitcake period um-hum yeah and this one is absolutely it's so easy and it is so wonderful everyone i serve it to that does not even care for fruitcake wants the recipe uh it's it's it's kind of funny i i don't think i've ever met anybody that actually likes fruitcake oh my older daughter does oh she just thinks it's wonderful and we always provided her with with one but this is one can of Eagle Brand yeah a pound of nuts a pound of cherries uh candied cherries and a pound of something else in the candied fruits uh-huh mix that up put it in spray a pan loaf pan pour it into the pan and cook it at two hundred and twenty five degrees yeah for about about an hour and it's it is wonderful hm that doesn't have all that citrine in it and i think that is what the uh people are so opposed to with with the fruitcake yeah but maybe sometime when you have nothing better to do you would like to try that one okay so what more need we talk about this morning um i can't hardly think of much have you enjoyed this um switchboard conversations or is this your first one i've i've done several of them it's it's it's all right it's you know it's not like anything anything disastrous or you don't have to go to a lot of trouble to do it no that the way i feel about it and i have talked with some very interesting people so i hope you have a wonderful holiday both of them and um take care okay thank you bye-bye thank you bye-bye okay so what do you uh think is the uh the worst culprit for air pollution well i think it's it's probably a combination of things um factories that that burn coal as uh an energy source with uh sulfur and nitrogen contaminants you know and you get sulfur oxides and nitrogen oxides um-hum uh those are the ones i think primarily contribute to acid rain and i think that's that's probably hurting us a little bit it's hurting you know other countries it's hurting Germany for example too and some other parts of Europe where they where they have high industry so we're not the lone ranger here yeah well it's i uh it's hard to put the finger on uh what's worse you know the acid rain situation or the ozone depletion um with uh your hydrocarbons uh yeah causing the damage in which hopefully we're backing off from that a little bit but i know we haven't cured it yet by a long shot well well i notice on one of these uh home shopping networks they were selling these uh halogen uh fire extinguishers yeah and the halogen is uh an ozone depleter and it got hydrocarbons in there it's a very clean uh fire extinguisher but it's you know really bad on the environment yeah huh yeah i guess i missed that one uh yeah automobiles of course are contributing too and you know how how we are with our love affair with the auto oh yeah yeah kind of hard to do anything about that i guess i know uh in the Twin Cities area i just moved out of there and was kind of happy i timed it just right but they had a new policy where in order to get your uh your license uh your car license uh renewed you had to meet the pollution standards yeah and uh we we have that here too but it's part of the inspection sticker you know they put a probe in your exhaust pipe and and the computer reads whatever the ionization is coming out and yeah so that's you know that's the way they're dealing with it here yeah and yeah i guess that was just mainly in the cities there and i as far as where i live i don't have to do that but yeah i have an old car which i doubt would uh would uh pass the inspection a seventy six and uh you know there's no way i would put in a lot of money to to repair it to meet standards yeah it probably be difficult anyway yeah so although i do what i can to to cut down pollution but uh i was just reading an article in uh Mother Earth News Mother Earth News Magazine yeah and uh they've got a new um you know a lot of places are burning wood a lot of lot of people are burning wood those of us who have i've got a place in the country and uh yeah um-hum and uh they've had catalytic converters you know catalytic converters on those on uh i think they're required in California and Oregon and and Washington but they've had out those for quite a while and somebody's come up with a new one that uh sort of it's a it's a catalytic converter it's a catalytic it's a plate that fits in you know into the smoke pipe yeah and uh apparently it sort of feeds itself the more smoke is produced uh the you know after you get to like five hundred degrees the the higher it gets so the the more complete the combustion is and it sounds real neat i haven't seen them priced anywhere yet but that that sounds like that might help solve that problem even on you know old old uh yeah older stoves that don't have any kind of EPA requirements on them that might help a little bit especially in some places we're really lucky here we have a prevailing southerly wind that blows just about everything out yeah now sometimes we get a kind of a especially in in uh autumn it seems like we get a kind of a brown haze sitting on us but most of the time it's blowing out pretty well probably blowing up there to you guys yeah yeah well well around here our we get the well depends you know either in the in the winter time it it blows it your way and in the summer time we probably get yours yeah it comes back yeah i really think that um you know we're doing some some important things education uh raising consciousness awareness uh and i know school kids i work for school district here and uh you know this is one of the big things with kids kids are writing letters to the newspapers about you know uh telling adults to clean up their act and yeah it's uh you know it hope we're not too late with it we're we're uh we're having all kinds of recycling yeah well it it that's that's a a big thing too i i know it's has nothing do with air pollution but i kind of look at the way people treat our okay okay what do you feel are everyday occurrences that are invasion of privacy in your opinion well uh i guess uh one that comes to mind is um the way the credit bureaus operate i i agree one hundred percent especially whenever it's like they keep stuff on your record like for seven years and they don't bother like yeah i know at one time i was unemployed or something and and they kept they kept it on my record for like seven months even though that i seven years even though that like you know i i um yeah they sent a letter in but they didn't bother to include the letter for the explanation where i got behind or anything like that yeah yeah we had a problem with them back oh i don't know five or seven years ago where it uh some stuff was on there that was incorrect and it was and it was real hard to and well that too get it get it fixed but they um they share that information with a lot of people that well that happened with me i um i had had a a doctor's appointment at at uh University of Chapel Hill Hospital uh-huh and there was two William Parrishes and they were charging me for this other person and i went through like six months of you know because they kept billing me and billing me and billing me i was like you know i'm not this person i'm not seeing seeing you why are you charging me uh-huh and i mean they turned me into the Credit Bureau they even held my taxes oh they did yeah i mean it went a long ways and it you mean they held your uh refund over my refund that you you know and it was it was a mess and finally i got it straightened out but it it took me almost a year to get that straightened out and it was for something you know uh huh another William Parrish that wasn't paying his bills or either else they wasn't you know charging him yeah but it was really weird huh well let's see um i think the biggest thing i think that are is not just well not for the average person i i think like the media's is is getting a little bit overboard on the invasion of privacy on like different on public figures yeah that some of the stuff that they're they're like on public figures like the tabloids and stuff are are saying that it's like really like i think Joan Collins i believe is believe right now is having a lawsuit against yeah think it's the National Enquirer for taking pictures of her when she was getting undressed in her bedroom and published them and oh yeah huh i some things i think should be private i would hate to know if i was getting undressed in the bedroom somebody was taking pictures of me you know yeah someone someone between the curtain was huh and i believe they've got something now i read in some science magazine or something where they have a infrared camera that can take pictures like with inside your house to see if you have any drugs or anything like that i think that's kind of an invasion of privacy too hm yeah i guess um another thing comes to mind is some of the quote unquote routine uh traffic stops they do that man they did that around Raleigh all the time yeah you know they set those roadblocks up oh yeah to see if you've been drinking and driving yeah yeah and you know and and uh boy they just you know they have no reason to be stopping you and they just uh they stop you and and uh look in your car a little bit you know lean in the windows anyway well i i i had something like that happen to me too um i worked for the Hilton for a while as a banquet waiter and um one night whenever i got off work you know it was like two or three in the morning it was a big party and you know i pulled out of that little road where you know pull out of the Hilton on the old Wake Forest Road going home um-hum um-hum and i looked up and it was i seen you know blue lights on and i thought God i just pull on the road it can't be me so you know like i pulled off the road and i pulled you know pulled off the side road and the car followed you know the police car followed you know pulled me over and next thing i know there was eight cop cars and they all got out with guns and everything you're kidding and it it really scared me really bad and they were just stopping you because you were leaving a a night spot probably well uh they they said that i it was suspicious behavior and i looked at you know the highway patrol and i said how could it be suspicious behavior of me uh waiting to a light was green making a left hand turn in the correct lane what's to make you know and they had they went all through my car yeah and you know while the highway patrolman pulled me back there or and and i i think they gave me a ticket for driving without my license they did search your car though they did yeah without my permission oh huh so i i thought i'd i was really offended by that i thought that was a severe invasion of privacy yeah and i think some of the laws that they're trying to pass right now um especially in North Carolina uh i mean we what kind of car would you like to buy next well i guess Cadillac i guess that's kind of everybody's dream huh why would that be a oh i guess it's a General Motors product and i like General Motors because they're made in the United States and uh we've had General Motors for years and have always had real good luck with them okay well that's good if you had uh no financial requirements if you could buy any car in the entire world no matter what it cost what would you buy um-hum oh um i think i'd still go with a Cadillac i don't i don't care about a big fancy fancy say what which type of Cadillac uh is your favorite oh i don't know i guess the Seville probably or yeah yeah the Seville that's a sharp looking car that really is it it always has been though yeah they have been you know it doesn't have the Coup de Ville or the Sedan de Ville squareness it never really has it's always had it's own unique look uh-huh yeah i've always liked that i liked the the one year they had or the couple of years they had were uh the trunk head would look like belt buckles across the back of it oh yeah right i thought now that looks sharp that looks real sharp yeah well i think the ones uh now with all of the um fancy gold lettering and all you know i think they're very pretty um-hum and course the top now the vinyl what is it a vinyl top i think those are pretty yeah and uh the i i've never really uh i've never ridden in one recently um but they're supposed to be just real smooth uh-huh just a nice comfortable ride yeah they are and uh they they're just always they they look like they're sturdy you know they look like they're very sturdy and uh-huh you don't have to worry that much about um getting you know hurt like you would in a small one right now they've got a uh a unique feature uh feature in them now if uh if you have a front end accident at such a rate of speed the engine the engine will actually drop out of the car so that it doesn't come through the so it does not go it doesn't go through the you know into the inside it'll go underneath the car instead oh i didn't know that so that's that's a big safety factor they've got in them now yeah and i suppose they all have the balloons the air bags yep the air bags yeah well so though that's great that's great so you say you've you've always uh preferred General Motors products what uh yeah yeah yeah i do um i i go for things you know built in the United States rather than foreign countries help our economy and right what kind of uh General Motors cars have you had in the past mostly Oldsmobiles Oldsmobiles those are real nice riding cars too yeah oh yeah that's what i have now but of course if i had my choice i'd still have the Cadillac but um i've been very satisfied with the with the Oldsmobiles we've driven them for about probably twenty years has that been the Cutlass or the Sierra uh no the Ninety Eight the Ninety Eight okay um-hum yeah so well i don't think uh let's see the Ninety Eight now that's got that big V eight engine in it doesn't it doesn't it well no now the one we have has a six uh-huh but it's a very good car it's uh has a little V six okay a have not had one minute's problem with it and i've had and i have twenty three thousand miles on it it oh that's great that's great that's always nice to get uh reliability yeah in a product especially when you're spending you know anywhere from fifteen to twenty five thousand dollars for for a single item right you know you just don't want any hassles with it you just you expect it to do its its job and i think a lot of no a lot of car manufacturers don't really keep that into consideration don't take that into consideration you know um-hum there that's true they just expect you to buy their product but that's always been something that's been a key factor in me is how reliable is this car gonna be you know price is is an issue but it's not the most important issue um-hum no it really isn't because now you can get like five year financing on them and so um but i i i would go with the General Motors any time right uh well i've always been a Ford man myself oh really oh yes but that's all right you know it's it's American made too which is good um but i i've ever since i guess i was i was growing up my dad's always had Fords yeah well sure right uh-huh and uh well i grew up in South Dakota so everybody has a truck uh-huh and uh my Ford trucks have just i've i've just never had problems with them i honestly think i would die before my truck would kill over on me uh-huh yeah well uh Ford yeah those are good products also um so doesn't seem like okay um do you participate in family reunions i did for years i don't have enough family left to have them uh-huh did you uh were they far away were they close that's well i come from a family that was very large in Bell County uh-huh and and my grandfather came to Bell County on a covered wagon oh how neat and had ten children and so sometimes we would have a reunion with that group uh-huh and then sometimes we would go to Arkansas where they came from and have a reunion with the entire group you know oh that would be fun yeah it was a lot of fun yeah well we uh we have a family reunion on my mother's side of the family that's uh oh it started probably about forty years ago um because i remember going as a teenager before i was ever married and then my husband and i went uh while we were still dating and it's still going on and it used to be held at Lake Brownwood down at Brownwood Texas but now we hold it at uh Lake Texoma so that the Oklahoma group doesn't have to drive as far um-hum and uh we have had as many on a Saturday night it starts on Friday and goes through Sunday and we've had as many on a uh Saturday night as about two hundred and fifty um now we would have group like that in Arkansas we'd have two hundred and fifty or three hundred uh-huh yes and we took uh i assume you all brought in food and everything well so many of us came from a long way that we we'd usually at a motel and we bought food there oh uh-huh uh-huh it's i know on Sundays we all elect now to chip in and we go get Kentucky Fried Chicken and bring out and uh but we kind of take our food for three days and uh but um-hum hum now our grandchildren are participating in it and just love that they have all this little batch of cousins that they get to see once a year um-hum um-hum enthused and uh with it and our children you know thoroughly enjoy it so it's been kind of nice it started out when i was a youngster and watching my mother now i'm to the mother was and uh i am uh um-hum well um-hum now the older generation and doing more of the cooking and watching my daughter you know participate more um-hum and everything and uh well it's something i really miss because i had twenty seven first cousins oh my word and you know we were very close family but my father's generation was enough older than i my father would be a hundred now oh uh-huh that they're all dead and in fact many of my first cousins are dead oh are they and course they have their own families and grandchildren and all that so we really very rarely all of us get together get together any more and and we're a long way away and and the younger generation the next like my cousin's children i don't know very well you know uh-huh uh-huh but it so it's i doubt that that will come to be again but as long as my oldest aunt lived we we got together once a year i think i do think now we have noticed a waning of interest and i think as as parents get older and start dying off i think sometimes it is hard to keep the interest going well and and folks have gotten so mobile i mean like i have a son and a daughter and two nephews that are grown um-hum and a brother who has a new marriage and a younger son but my brother and his wife live in Nevada my daughter lives in Colorado one of my nephews lives in New York City one nephew lives in Memphis um-hum and my son lives here but i think it's very unlikely we'll have a family reunion you know yeah you probably do good just to get your immediate family together yeah and i'm divorced and really only immediate family i have left is my my i have a son and a daughter uh-huh uh-huh but my family's really all dead uh-huh but it was great pleasure while we did it you know oh yeah they're a lot of fun well my sister i have a sister and then we have a son and a daughter and we have three grandchildren and and our son and daughter are both married and uh um-hum our son's not as interested in it as our daughter but our daughter our daughter is really interested and uh did it does it bother you if your children are not interested in it i beg you pardon does it bother you if your children are not interested in it oh a little bit i i wish that our son was you know and um um-hum but uh the cousins are closer to our daughter's age and than to our son's and just totally different interest group and plus and he's just he's newly married and doesn't have children and uh-huh um-hum you know i'm hoping that as they you know are married a little bit longer and have children that they may be more inclined to want to go um-hum you know to it i know that what what kinds of things do you do to try to get your children interested to talk to them about it well talk to them about it and you know tell them some of the things we're doing now when he was a child uh a young oh preteen you know when he was like ten or twelve he loved going he had another cousin he was close to um-hum and we but that cousin kind of quit going and as he got to be a teenager um he wasn't quite as as interested he was more interested in rock and roll and this is more country western group and uh just lack of interest um-hum okay what do you like do you watch TV much okay what do i like well my kids watch it quite a bit i have teenagers and so no they they watch um oh TV probably more than i would like for them to we watch really we watch VCR more than we watch TV but i'll tell you what show i don't like rather than what i do like really oh yeah okay i don't like Married with Children no i don't watch that in the i did watch it in the beginning when it was new and it was kind of funny a couple of times and then i don't i don't watch it do you ever watch it well my kids like it they all think it's funny and they all say good grief you're just too you're too old fashion it's just a spoof but i really dislike what it says about marriage i dislike what it says about raising children yeah yeah yeah well everybody says oh it's it's just supposed to be funny i don't find it funny i find it insult it was just for a kick i know yeah but look at the soap operas i don't i work so i'm not a soap opera person and so i just never watch them yeah i do too i know yeah i'm not a TV person i haven't been a TV person and i really didn't even know what was ever on and then this year for some reason i have a twelve year old and for some reason we've just gotten real comfortable with these little sitcoms at night which ones do you like oh just the little funny things we love Full House and i love Full House i think that's probably one of my favorite shows you know i just yeah it's mine too and i just it's nice and wholesome and there aren't very many of those you know so we look forward to that and i love i just love that little bitty girl on there she's so cute yeah no there aren't she's a sweetie and it's uh it's really neat because they really have watched her grow up uh-huh did you see it a couple weeks ago when they had her fifth birthday that was so precious yes they went through all yeah it was really well done it was and i hadn't realized that she'd been on the show that the show had been on that long that she was so tiny yeah and that she was just i remember when it very first came out i remember watching the very first episode oh i don't remember and God they were all so young well you know the girl that plays DJ Cameron that's um Kirk Cameron's sister do you ever watch Growing Pains yeah right right right yeah i know who he is i don't watch it i don't like it very much do you watch that oh really huh that's interesting now i like Growing Pains yeah i just never i never got into it and it might be the time that it's on and i'm not sure when it's on but it used to be on Wednesday well first it was on Tuesdays and then they switched it to Wednesdays and i hated that time frame because i had church choir and now it's on Friday nights um-hum i don't know why i don't know why i never watch it maybe because it's the weekend no it's Saturday nights could be could be and i'm not home a lot but i think i liked it when it first started better than i like it now yeah really i never got into it very much and my daughter loves Quantum Leap and i hate that show no i've never watched it it's just oh he's so it's such a strange thing have you ever seen it not me Quantum Leap it's he changes he has a little buddy that's sort of like a conscience or something i'm not sure and he goes to a different time hm you know a time in the past it's sort of like a back to the future theme and he goes back and he changes things oh okay oh so that they're not like somebody doesn't die but he becomes that person i mean he's already been a pregnant woman and had a baby i mean it's it's uh it's a ridiculous ooh hm i think i might have trouble with that it's a really uh i have trouble with it it's just a really ridiculous show i just hate it my daughter looks forward to it she likes it but but your daughter likes it that's funny i yeah i guess so i don't know but i just i like that kind of thing and i like Brooklyn Bridge that's a new one to see uh Brooklyn Bridge you like what i don't watch it either it's a new one that just came on this year and i like it because it's the fifties back in Brooklyn oh see i would probably like that too i enjoy things like that well being from New York i relate to when the Dodgers were in Brooklyn and i mean back you know and so it's like that time and the kids are little when i was kind of little you know and it was oh it's sort of like that so it's a little bit nostalgic for me and the things that my father talks about a lot of them are in the show you know so that kind of thing yeah so i like that i understand well i think i need to be going because i'm trying to get dinner on the table for my daughter and me oh can we do that we don't have to tell them i mean they don't tell us when to hang up huh they only tell us when um when we're down to the last oh oh i didn't know that oh okay well you better pull your little paper out you better pull your little paper out and keep going then it's not over time when you have to hang up because you've run out of time i know i forgot well maybe someone will call me again maybe they will oh it's been fun to talk to you you too bye-bye thanks i hope so listen i've enjoyed talking to you have a nice evening bye um well um guess it's logical to ask do you exercise any well unfortunately very little uh much less than what i need to i'm about the same way i i do a little bit my my job kind of hinders me from exercising i'm a night operator here at a industry down here and i don't really get out a lot during because of my job to to exercise well i uh am an assistant teacher and uh in business technology and i've i think the most exercise i've gotten in the last three or four month is just jumping up and down to go answer the kids' questions it keeps me pretty busy but it's not really the kind of exercise that gets your heart rate going and and uh right you know really exercise is so important and i realize that it is um-hum that's that's the way i feel i'm used to being in pretty good shape because when i was in high school i stayed in pretty good shape playing a little basketball and stuff like that but i've gotten now i'm in college and i go to school during the day and work at night i can tell that i've not really done a whole lot when you uh exercise what do you do do you do it at home or a club or well uh i usually i'm i usually play at home we live out in the country so me and my brother'll play basketball and have a bunch of guys come over and play or a lot of times we're we're up at the church we'll play volleyball stuff like that i got a hold of uh Richard Simmons's tape uh oh really what is it uh i can't even think of the name of it right offhand uh with the oldies oh the Sweating to the Oldies Sweating with the to the Oldies yeah and that's not bad oh really that's pretty upbeat so you know i every once in a while i'll put the cassette in and go with it but right not often enough to have a routine right i'll my little Schnauzer wishes i would get out and walk with her oh really but uh i don't know by the time i get home all i wanna do is just collapse or sit down at my computer and my fingers exercise more than anything now right that's the way i am i just want to sit down and relax too tired to exercise yes uh do you ever ride a bike or anything like that i did i started riding my bike about a couple of months ago and i'd ride about two or three miles a day but but it'd last about a couple of weeks and it got real cold for a little while so i gave it up here about the the most common exercise for people is to go to the malls and walk them walk around because they're enclosed and no matter what the weather is they can walk at a pretty good clip and and not have to worry about the weather summer or winter right right i've noticed people doing that down here too i'll be in town or something and people will walk around the mall and it's safe it it is it's fairly safe that's uh you know inside the mall may be not safe going to the parking garage lot uh-huh yeah certain parts of it i know a doctor once told me it it a friend of mine uh suggested swimming as being the best exercise there is right right i used to do a lot of swimming we have we have a swimming pool and but it's an old concrete pool we've been having trouble with it the past few years so we haven't got to use it much but i love to swim and water ski and stuff like that the uh swimming they say uses more muscles than any other exercise with and the water takes the resistance right right and you don't get the soreness i've i've done some water exercises but our pool is not is not heated so it's right you can't do it year round summertime only right that's the way ours is just in the summertime you don't go out when it's twenty some odd degrees and and go out to the swimming pool no no no it's too cold hot tubs are not not uh not too bad but i could deal with a hot tub those are nice so what part of Mississippi are you from i'm from Laurel whereabouts is that that's way down towards the south not quite on the coast but we're about two hours from the coast oh and you do have cold weather down there yes yes ma'am it well it started about yesterday i believe it started raining and got real cold ours started Thanksgiving oh and uh from there just well today was pretty but uh oh Sunday the snow and ice came in right and uh there was no exercise well um i don't know i'm have only been um selected for jury duty one time and it was sort of a a rude awakening to our judicial system um after having served on the jury and uh come to a decision uh and and really it was a case that was cut and dry the uh the defendant on uh the witness stand admitted he was guilty and then uh the first thing that was done was after um we we found him guilty his attorney jumped up and uh started going through the procedure you know routine for filing an appeal which you know i i i know that that's the right uh but the defendant but i mean it makes you wonder why go through it one more time when you know he admitted he was guilty of the crime so um i don't know that it was a little bit disgruntling to me it right i have never served on a jury i have been called like only twice in my life and and uh at the time i've been a legal assistant and nobody wanted me on their jury so i've been excused but uh i uh i don't know i look at the people who get excused and and it's supposed to be a jury of your peers and i'm not sure it always is uh right and it is a lot it is a huge burden to put on people who don't know the law uh you know that especially in criminal cases when you're deciding someone's life uh-huh i i'm not so sure that you know that that's something that is that you can really really have the knowledge to do as as just a lay person oh not i agree with that and certainly um i think that uh i know that uh i have heard of people being you know in on a on a criminal case and uh saying that you know and i think you've got this option that if you want if you are found guilty by the jury that you can choose even before the trial begins for the judge to sentence you uh and that i i think i think i'm correcting correct in that but uh well a lot of states the judge can set i mean they do set the penalty you know the the judgment at once it's rendered guilty you know the sentencing is done by the judge in in a lot of the cases um some cases it is up to the jury but uh-huh you you know you're told if you find them guilty then this is the choices that they have to make it's either life or death you know right right but uh i don't i don't know it just it it seems like in some of these cases i don't know that you could really have an impartial juror because of the media given right and i don't you know in today's age of television the coverage like it is there's no way that you can be shielded from it well i i understand what you're saying and at the same time i'm afraid that there are people out there that walk are walking around that have no more conception of what's going on day in and day out than if someone came down from Mars and and unfortunately those people who my in my book i would i would consider them to be terribly uninformed might be deemed the most eligible people to be put on the jury while like like you said earlier i don't necessarily would i don't think i'd consider them to be a jury of my peers uh-huh you know so i but that's well you know one of the reasons why i hope i never have to be in a position to have a jury listen to what a case of mine and i hope i never you know am in that situation well i know when i've been you know called to jury duty they had to stand up there or stay you know until they dismissed me and i look at the people and the reasons that they get dismissed um before they even you know the selection is is even started it is your profession you know nine tenths of them are your professional people right right who are out in the world you know the rest are retired or they're housewives or uh all right this is my opinion i i'm still a student right now and i'm actually studying in elementary education i think that there are quite a few problems with the school systems today uh-huh um more than anything i just believe that as students we're taught to learn what the teacher wants instead of actually um gaining a further vantage point and so it's basically we're taught to be mediocre in what we learn yeah um i'm also an education major i'm still in school and uh but i wanna go into teaching special ed uh-huh and um i think there is a lot of problems in that area a i think there is problems all over the education system whether it be uh-huh um elementary you know or even colleges you know have their flaws but especially in the learning disabilities because um a lot of times you know teachers think oh this kid's dumb and you know they just not too many people have knowledge you know about this area hum-um of uh type of kids you know because it's starting to become new and and they're starting to find out more research about um this type of learning um-hum and so yeah i think you're right i think that's really a a a really neat field i uh work right now in a special center for abused children and for some of the learning disabled uh-huh and it's incredible how they they can learn quickly if you just find what's right for them that's right and i think like you said at least in my opinion i think they put a lot of restrictions on teachers of how they can teach them you know that's right it they're they hire teachers who aren't even qualified to teach those kind of kids and they burn out so fast they don't wanna teach them um-hum and there's not enough teachers who want to do that and they're starting to find out you know oh this kid may have a learning disability they test them and find out that they do and then it's just a growing field because more and more kids are being tested into that i i think it's really interesting too i think along with the special children i have a friend who is gifted and in school he did terrible his all his years because there was no one who ever challenged or whoever found what exactly was what he needed in terms of learning uh-huh right and i think again it kind of goes back to the same thing of you know being mediocre in everything that we do right yeah like everybody not just people with problems um learn differently i mean you know one teacher can go out and learn how to teach but they only know one way and a kid might have um-hum problems you know learning that and comprehending well what does that mean i think it's i think more teachers should um right find different ways and be creative on their teaching well i think you're absolutely correct so you know i think personally like you said it it has more to do with the teachers coming out of their shell and not being afraid to make mistakes and saying you know hey i'm i'm gonna try this If it works great if it doesn't i apologize right um-hum and i i found in my own schooling that when the teachers made that special effort to to make the class exciting to make it different to to challenge my intellect or to to bring about a different method of teaching i was a lot more interested in learning yeah exactly what do you think about the grading systems and and how those work the grading system grading system um uh-huh well i think um well in a sense it's probably too easy but if it wasn't um-hum um these kids you know i mean nowadays a lot of kids they just you know don't try they don't get the grades that they could um-hum um-hum and um i don't do you think there's too much focus on grades grades instead of learning i don't yeah i think well the field i wanna go into grades to me doesn't mean much it doesn't tell you how intelligent you are how bright you are you know um um-hum right because i know somebody who's very bright and very intelligent but just doesn't get the grades and that's just because they have a learning disability um so yeah i think you have a good point there where they don't focus enough on them huh-uh um-hum how they learn and what they're learning you know not on the grade hm right yeah and i think at least as me as a college student i have a really hard time because you know they when you go out for a job or whatever they're gonna focus on your grades and i think again that a lot of the school problems are more society problems where they're not looking at the individuals as much much as they are just the whole overall picture right and you know like you said i i like the point that you brought up that that you said really it it needs to be individualized and i think as that happens more that the schooling will become better um-hum yeah right and that's hard with a a large class you know with thirty kids you can't give them all your full attention but and you know i i wish there was a way i'm not sure of it um-hum this is a real easy topic for me to spend at least thirty minutes or an hour on i vacation i don't think they'll let us talk that long yeah i know it i know it you say vacation i just say where i love to go i've and i've been lucky enough i've traveled quite a bit Canada Mexico oh my been to Rio uh Europe ooh you've been to Europe uh-huh that's wonderful i'm envious yeah i was i was lucky enough uh when i was uh twenty years old back when the the dollar was really strong i mean it was you know still the keen currency i convinced my parents to let me take off a month and go backpacking in Europe uh and uh that's memories you'll never ever have again probably it oh not never and uh you know and i've just i went everywhere and it's you know hum-um what was your favorite country uh well jeez if i had to pick one country i guess i would have to say Italy Italy huh uh-huh i think so because uh it was just the the history was just so staggering whenever you know you walked into the coliseum and uh you realized how many thousands of years old it was you know and you could just imagine the uh the gladiators and the lions and it was you know pretty pretty staggering to think of and then of course then the Roman forum that's even older than that that's just ruins and uh but the food was good the people were nice and there was just so much to see and do well that was probably before we were the ugly Americans too well actually back then like i said it was this is in nineteen seventy two and uh uh you know i did the whole trip uh airfare uh everything for less than a thousand dollars oh not even sure you could get airfare yeah right and i and i stayed gone a month golly yeah now of course that was back when uh Arthur for uh this uh the writer Arthur Arthur Frommer had a book out it was called Europe on five dollars a day yeah and so we budgeted and we said well we'll be extravagant we budgeted ten dollars a day i love it and and we stuck kept in that budget and had just really perfect wow who'd you go with i went with a friend of mine uh that i'd been in high school with actually he and i we were in college at the time and we were talking about going to Colorado taking a little trip uh up to Colorado that summer after school got out and we started adding up you know totaling how much it was going to cost and i said hell we could go to Europe for that he said well why don't we and i said you know we did i'm i'm really happy that that we did do that why don't we wow i've always wanted to go like to England well and i've i've i've been to England several times since then um and that is i could go back anytime um anytime well i teach literature and at the high school level and consequently i teach all about these wonderful places in Europe and in England especially and Canterbury Cathedral and you know all of these places and um-hum um-hum yeah yeah and never seen them somehow now that doesn't seem fair well well i um uh had a job for several years that i traveled just an awful lot and uh as a matter of fact i stayed gone more than i stayed at home yeah for about four years and i built up an awful lot of mileage so i've made three trips to London just using airfare you know airline mileage and so that's how i've been able to make make those trips um gee of all the places you visited then what is your one spot for a vacation that you would love to go back to i i would go back to uh if i could go back anywhere right now i think i would go back to Edinburgh um why is that and well because uh we i didn't go any farther north in Scotland than Edinburgh and uh my brother was over there a couple of years ago and he uh uh went to on a driving tour all up through the Scottish highlands and just came back just raving about how wonderful it was very very scenic very um-hum beautiful and it's it's a part of the uh the country that's a little bit off the beaten path there're not as many tourists that go out there and i enjoyed uh right Scotland so much but i could go back listen i could go back into London any day of the week and the beautiful thing about that is you could take a train out of London and head any direction it doesn't make any difference and take these fabulous day trips and anywhere you go is interesting and uh the last time we went we found this really uh small kind of quaint hotel actually we found it over there on the trip before but stayed in it the last time that was reasonable reasonable and uh just used that as a base and then took day trips on the trains the train system is wonderful which makes me wonder when we'll ever get our act together here in the US and have a and have a decent um uh transportation system but we'd just take day trips and that was that was a nice way to do it isn't that the truth did you go to Germany i have been yeah we went the first time i went over there i went to Germany and went to Munich and stayed right across the street from one of the original medieval beer halls oh my goodness and uh okay um capital punishment i i know that's kind of a touchy subject i i personally believe that there is a need for capital punishment um especially you know in some of the the real violent type murder and and crimes i feel like that it's a it's a justifiable punishment do you i certainly agree with that we have Dallas has now become one of the most crime oh our crime rate has just exceeded all oh possible goals or whatever and we keep coddling all of our our men or women incarcerated we have to have certain amount of space for them oh dear oh um-hum i'm with i think we just must keep this capital punishment and i don't believe keeping them on death row for four or five years is answering any of our problems um-hum i agree i think it just it jams up the system and you know we spend thousands and thousands of dollars keeping them there and that's right and i feel that yeah it's not fair to the public and it's it i think it's a terrible shame well it's not fair to the taxpayers that's right so um now do you have um what types of capital punishment do they use or in Texas what is legal um the lethal dose of uh you know slip in it i think they maybe should get back to courtyard hangings right uh-huh oh no no i don't really mean that but if people could see what was really happening oh i think it would deter this more than than going in with the needle and injecting them um-hum um-hum now we in Utah they have uh either the firing squad or the lethal injection are the two methods that are that are used here and i know um not too long ago it's probably been two or three years now that um one of the people chose to die by the firing squad and and i well i think that was the last one that died here was by the firing squad and um so i know those are the two forms of punishment they use now but you know just the other day we had a uh man that was on death row for for killing his sister-in-law and her fifteen month old baby and then they came just two days ago and and said that something had not been done right with the trial and so now they've they've just have have to start all over again go through the same process all over again and oh i think that's ridiculous i just um-hum what a waste of money and time and resources and you know oh that's right since our have you ever served on a jury no i have not that is one of the most um well i think everyone should at least once oh it was uh i've never been on capital punishment but um i wonder if these people were guilty until proven innocent if we would not gain or more from our attorneys um-hum um-hum oh i don't know i don't know i i've been called to trial duty but i never they canceled it you know before i got there so i've never never had that yeah well it certainly is a responsibility yes but i think that uh we need to demand more from our attorneys when they withhold information we have three cases going here in Dallas now um-hum um-hum two of them were murder the well finally the husband admitted to having smothered his wife even though he loved her dearly oh no oh so he goes up for forty years with with a possibility of being out in ten um-hum and the other man is charged with um poisoning his wife with arsenic oh no and it was a a apparently it went on over a year they're a very wealthy family oh uh-huh and uh oh it just boy it it you know um-hum you wonder why why this happens yes well i don't know about your situation there but here in Utah they're we're having to build new prisons because there is no place to put to put these inmates they're just the prisons are so full and so we're spending more and more money building new ones when when all these you know inmates are on death row and yeah that's just you know well we let our our previous governor wanted to put a tent uh you know just build oh well what magazines do you subscribe to Lori well we have probably too many we've got not enough to keep up i mean too many to keep up with we get uh Forbes Fortune Newsweek yeah Southern Living Texas Highways and National Geographic i think i think i've got them all oh gosh yeah uh-huh well i i take um right now i've kind of a whittled mine down i just take Vanity Fair and uh Harper's and uh Houston City magazine uh-huh uh-huh but you know how i used to subscribe to Texas Highways that's one of the best magazines for the money going right i mean it's such a bargain what what i mean what is it like twelve dollars a year it is something like that yeah and then the photography's beautiful it is yeah it's matter that's i thought about it not too long ago that uh i had seen an issue and i thought gosh i ought to give my parents that for Christmas but i of course now it's Christmas i haven't done it so maybe next year yeah but i know i had i had uh found myself about i don't know two years ago in the in a situation where i i literally had more magazines coming in than i could read and i thought this is crazy so i right you know it's not so bad if they're monthly publications but like Newsweek which i really enjoy um comes out every week and so it's really hard to keep up with uh-huh yeah well i i took Time for i guess ten years uh-huh and i enjoyed it and it and i it you know it has just you know a wealth of information i mean it's therefore similar to Newsweek but whenever i got to the point that i just i just finally said this is just insane because i had so many magazines i let them all lapse yeah and then once they were all gone and of course that took a while i didn't realize how much i had paid up on some of them uh-huh and uh then i decided well i you know Vanity Fair offered me a special thing to come back at a reduced rate you know uh-huh and then Harper's did and so i you know little by little i've i've you know subscribed to a few more again but uh i take the newspaper everyday right uh-huh so i've got plenty of reading material yeah well we get the newspaper on the weekends and that seems to be enough yeah yeah yeah because we'll just turn on the news otherwise and see see what the latest is well you sound though kind of like me though but i mean it's i'm i have always plenty of reading material around my house uh-huh and when i go to visit my brother and sister-in-law in Austin it drives me crazy because i i always have to be sure and put something in my suitcase to read because honestly i wonder these people don't ever read oh is that right yeah i mean their house just a you know it's just it's it's appalling to me they have nothing to read well maybe that's what you ought to get them for Christmas yeah really well uh well actually i think one year uh several years ago i did give them a a subscription to Time and they never said a word about it you know and so i thought well maybe they weren't uh-huh oh really i'd they're not into that maybe they weren't into it you know that's fine but it's just it's so different than yeah you know i just i require reading material that's all that is to it right right yeah um you know one thing i hate i don't know if this is really on the subject but when they call you the different places call you to sign up uh-huh at this you know and they try to give you this big bargain and and you're like no we already subscribe to enough magazines at the time and uh-huh so yeah well i um you know i had as a matter of fact the the Vanity Fair whenever i let it lapse uh-huh they had sent me all these you know final notice things and i just you know didn't send them back in um-hum and so finally once i did decide to subscribe again i sent in a a thing that said hey you know i mean it was whatever the the uh subscription rate was i think like fifteen dollars uh-huh uh-huh and about a month later i got a thing in the mail saying well hey as a former subscriber you can now get it for twelve and they had a one eight hundred number i called up and i said hey i want three bucks back oh right so they extended they said they were gonna extend my subscription for three months but they're pretty competitive uh-huh yeah yeah but um i find at times i have numerous magazines piled up and i'll just sit down you know one weekend or something and try to catch up on them yeah but i mean i you know i enjoy it i guess you know um as far as comparing that to other media it's so much easier to listen to either the radio or to watch TV to listen i mean to know what's going on rather than to read an article oh it is it is and it just but at the same time you can you can get information i mean there there in a magazine the variety and you can get different types of information and and you know television is is geared so much to right right the average Joe Blow and quite frankly i mean there there are items of interest to me that you'll never find on television exactly yeah that's true the other thing is um some magazines well i need to find out from you how the last remodeling project you undertook and if it was successful and you you were pleased with what happened well you've been doing any remodeling lately the only remodeling we do is we put uh new uh we put up molding and wallpaper and we put it up in Chad's room and in the uh uh-huh front room all right did you like the results but i let the yeah i don't do the actual uh uh putting it i don't actually cut them the molding i mean we have a guy come in and do that and we do the painting and the sanding and then i built some shelves in the basement last week so i i guess that qualifies uh-huh all right yes it does what kind of molding is this uh molding crown molding and then some uh chair molding but uh oh uh-huh well that's a lot of fun we i guess maybe we will have to do some new projects when the baby comes oh yeah decorate a nursery or something huh yeah well you know we got the TV in this room that's probably have to be converted to a bedroom so oh okay yes get some uh get an extra room there for the new baby well you you haven't had to do any of that have you what's that any remodeling really no uh we've done uh some painting and put up some wallpaper in uh the boys' room uh-huh we needed to to paint because the paint was uh getting molten dingy or or grain plus there was a lot of markings on the on the paint that well on top of the bunk beds the boys got up there and uh started drawing on the ceiling and that was kind of hard to get off so we decided rather than uh uh wash it all off and clean it up we decided to paint over it and uh-huh the walls were were textured and there was a lot of holes from the previous owners and so we patched them all up and painted and and put border and wallpaper along the top and it looks really nice now and we we're quite pleased with it and and uh um-hum it uh looks pretty good there's a lot of other things that Cheryl would like me to do but yeah it's just finding the time yeah i guess we'll eventually get around to finishing the basement someday i don't know when well good good uh i think i might uh paint the uh cement you can there's supposedly kind of a cement paint you can get that uh will make it just a little nicer even you know before we finish it uh-huh well good you uh you put on a deck deck there recently too haven't you or that's been a couple of years well parts of the cement cement had a patio i painted the uh our porch uh-huh that was kind of a job had eighty eight spindles to sand and take all the paint off borrowed an air gun from Laura's brother in law and it uh yeah i imagine it would be wow painted it with yeah and that worked nice it's just one of those Wagner ones you know they well good yeah we have one they work pretty well really they're noisy yes i yeah they are they they make a lot of noise but they're good yeah we haven't used ours yet we'd like to use ours you haven't used it at all no i haven't oh so you don't you don't know how uh wait the only thing you've got to worry about is getting the paint the right viscosity yeah so it doesn't jam up you've used one before though it sounds like yes i have yeah it was my dad's and i i used it with him um-hum was able to paint some things and uh and he said he didn't need it anymore and he he gave it to us and we haven't had a chance to or need to paint anything down here yet i i'm kind of leery about using it inside oh yeah um because it does put a lot of particles and mist in the air that i didn't want to get all over the carpet or yeah yeah it puts out a lot and i mean i even ordered us that one when we did that porch yeah uh-huh i mean there was had the i had my watch and it was all over my shoes and uh the shrubs all turned white down there it it snowed huh that's about the only snow we can get down here in Texas if it if it were a white paint you probably used a a uh redwood color or a stain didn't you yeah it was just it was white oh it was yeah because the porch the porch spindles are white yeah that's right that's right and uh it was a latex we had a hard time getting it thin enough because latex is kind of rubbery to begin with a little thicker than most but it ended up working fine plus i was the weather you know i did it in uh oh yes um-hum oh good well the winter started to to cool down i think it must have been October when i finished um-hum yeah i remember it was a conference weekend i think when i finished well the the weather i understand was pretty good at that time yeah it was it was not bad but yeah the weather weather is beautiful down here real nice real nice it got up to about seventy five degrees down here and that's kind of the right temperature to be painting things but is it yeah yeah it's uh we would like to like to do a little bit more we'll probably do some we were working recently out on our spa hum-um and uh and hot tub trying to it was really overgrown with a lot of yeah i guess uh what is it honeysuckle uh Texas well it's been beautiful this week about uh seventy two something like that it's gotten cooler today i think it's probably sixty boy oh boy that's nice and warm but sunshiny yeah oh yeah it is a little bit warm right now what's the humidity like we don't have high humidity like Houston does it's probably gee i don't know Dallas uh-huh where we have a little bit of humidity but not like the southern part of the state does because we're up the north of the Red River so now you're in Dallas is that what you not like right so at that oh probably sixty fifty sixty pretty pretty average for this time of the year no it's a little bit below above average i would think our average now is around sixty five sixty to sixty five something like that i don't really know but ah it's it's warmer than it normally is this time of year yeah course didn't you have some uh was it tornado watches not too long ago or hurricane or something maybe it wasn't right in Dallas but uh a flush flash floods or uh-huh no we oh we always so a lot of times we do have flooding when because it's so much cement here now the water doesn't have anywhere to go because it's built up so much but it's built up so much yeah that i think they didn't think about the water when the they paved everything right right don't think where it's gonna have to go huh that's true but yeah we even have flash flooding come you know if we get four or five inches of rain we do have flooding so if it's quickly you know real quick yeah that's true what where are you in Idaho if it comes pretty quickly and Twin Falls it that's kind of by uh have you heard of Sun Valley or Boise Twin Falls i've been through Twin Falls several years ago yeah it's beautiful out there really is nice yeah it really is nice oh have you then you know where i am yeah it's it's kind of pretty we don't have uh any snow on the ground it what is your temperature it's probably in the forties yeah well we're supposed to get i think to the thirties tonight are you so it's cooling up makes you feel a little bit better for that's a real switch though from seventy five in the morning to thirty at night though um we we probably go from the forties to the twenties yeah well we don't have that too often but it's gradually clearing off i think yesterday was in the seventies because i haven't heard the temperature today really but i did go shopping and it's cooler than it was yesterday but it right may be do you need a jacket uh yes a light one i didn't wear one because i don't like a jacket i just wore a sweatshirt but no jacket yeah but it's beautiful and uh and that does it but i i have never seen a white Christmas so we we don't usually you don't know what it is everybody around here is gone crazy because they want a white Christmas and no i've never seen huh-uh well i did i would like to have one too but i yeah i i think it'd be great they're pretty they're they uh they're the type of thing you only wanna have once they're not as fun to drive in but they're sure yeah it i mean gets you in the spirit but we have cold weather sometimes and most of our cold weather is in like January January and February but we had some cold weather in November so it's just crazy and uh you just don't know exactly what to expect when it goes like that do you kind of no well yeah it it gets cold here it's just that it doesn't stay cold like i'm not sure how it is where you are but you know in the northern states it gets cold and stays cold all winter stays that way and the snow usually stays yeah and here right and here we be get cold and we may be cold for a week you know down in the twenties and teens and then it's back up to the forties and fifties yeah so it's it's right then it shoots back up this uh our area pretty much you get oh we got snow for Thanksgiving and about three days later it was all gone so i'd it doesn't stick around very long uh-huh do you think your weather trends are changing well you know we've only lived here four and a half years and uh it's been fairly mild um-hum from what i understand uh they've they've talked about being snowed in and and we've never had a bad bad winter well i i yeah i think the weather trends are changing too now i don't know whether it's everywhere or just here because we've had so many lakes built around here that i think it right do you think that's making a difference oh yeah yeah i think it's making the difference in that we have more bad weather than we used to uh-huh especially storms than you're used to but you they built the lakes for water and i do think it's made a difference in the the weather here i think the weather seems like it's changed everywhere a little bit hasn't it just uh real peculiar peculiar and not normal yeah well well i guess it's part of the warming trends and then too they say the that uh volcano in the Philippines you know had a effect on well uh right right we got a lot of the effects from that that and that's hard to believe isn't it you wouldn't you wouldn't think we could even be remotely supposedly i know where do you like to go to eat out well my favorite place to go is a a little Chinese place called um China Night and i guess that the reason i like to go there is because i like the the kind of food they serve and we've been going there for many years it's um-hum uh-huh it's an older spot it's not a real fancy type you know establishment but it is it is enjoyable and and kind of cozy and it's it's quite small um-hum so that's that's where we like to go and how about yourself well my wife and i go to this place in Denton Texas called Rocco's it's a Italian restaurant oh oh and uh well i guess first time i went there is about eight years ago i'd i'd just moved back from Florida and went over there you know with my parents uh-huh oh um-hum and uh when my wife and i got married we had our our wedding dinner there oh how fun and uh one of the things i like most about Rocco's is the people there are real people you know they're not all you know hoity-toity and all that good stuff oh um-hum uh-huh oh so there's good service good people and good food huh sure excellent service uh the food is is always hot and there's always enough um-hum oh yeah that's you know i hate when i go to a restaurant and i spend twelve bucks for a meal and you know i got to spend another twelve bucks to find the appetizers Tiffany yeah right and and then when you go home you're still hungry well that's huh that's interesting you know i've never been to an Italian restaurant and i know my sister in law was saying the other day she knew of a place little place down in yeah well it's about thirty miles from here that was a very good Italian restaurant she said and and uh we were discussing going there so i that sounds good how about fast food do you eat fast food much yeah i got cans in my cupboard i mean in a restaurant uh well uh let me put it this way the nearest Seven Eleven is about forty miles oh yeah we're out in the country oh yes you are and uh fast food for me is fuel you know it's like i buy the cheapest stuff i can find that'll hold me over till i can get home oh right right usually i don't go to fast food places because if i leave the house i generally pack my own lunch uh-huh oh oh i i cannot stand cardboard food right right i agree you know i mean you know it's nothing fancy for lunch but i you know i got celery and carrots and and pears and apples and uh uh-huh good foods that'll that's real huh yeah that's real food you know my wife will make me either a you know like a ham sandwich or turkey sandwich or something like that uh you know we raise hogs and butcher our own meat oh right uh-huh oh great we have a wide variety of uh boy i'll say yeah i i was just thinking um we have another restaurant here that's um stuff available oh it's probably it's about ten miles away from from where we live and i know it's it's pretty famous around this area it's called Mattox and and they have you know their own cows that they they um butcher and they serve there and it's it's yeah it's only open five days a week and there's always just standing room only waiting to get in it's it's an excellent uh place to eat there they serve you know good meat and a good salad and and like you say the service is good and a real nice atmosphere and i know that's a place around here that that a lot of people like to go to we we are just in our little little town that's close to us it's just starting to get a lot of eating type establishments they well it's probably been within the last oh eight years that we've even had a McDonald yeah you you go to restaurant row no we don't yet got you your McDonald's your Pizza Inn your Taco Bell and uh Burger King and Sonic and all that not yet not yet we're we're working towards that we're not but it's not quite that bad yet i hope that i don't know i hate to see that well that's that yuppie food it it it makes you have to eat bran yeah right yeah i i went seen my doctor the other day and he gave me you know two pieces of news one was good one was bad uh-huh oh the good news uh the bad news was i was gonna die uh oh the good news is that i uh i i don't have to eat bran muffins or jog because you're gonna die anyway huh well you know uh the have you seen any of the statistical reports on the the yes i have they say it doesn't really make a whole lot of difference but well yeah they say you you might extend your life of three or four months um-hum um-hum but it but it takes three or four months to get in shape so and it's painful oops i got a call oh okay well it's been pleasant speaking with you and uh call right keep going to that Italian place and i'll try one here thank okay okay well you you start it well i feel that women have in the roles that they've played they've uh they used to be at home all the time with the children and now most of them work out of the home because it takes two incomes to make it uh-huh these days and um they just uh they there's more women than men now and they've learned that they have to take care of themselves that they can't depend on a man to support them now sure unfortunately what that's done is it's put everybody in a terrible position because it used to be that one person could work whether it a man or a woman that's right okay now we're in a situation where uh it or at least it seems that maybe it's the economy or maybe it's just uh you know employers taking advantage of the fact that women want to work and now that they've made it or at least seems that like two people have to work in order to uh in order to afford to live you know but uh i think it's it's great i mean my wife works uh makes end meet uh-huh well it's really too bad they and because the women are so underpaid and there're so many sole supporters that are women now yeah it's true it's true what they say like women get sixty seven cents to the dollar uh-huh that men make doing the same job that's that's terrible but i i think that'll change too well see in my days when i was a teenager my i wanted to go to school my mother said well she didn't want to send me to school i was going to get married anyway she said yeah so that meant that i was going to get married and a man was going to work and take care of me but you don't think that way now no that's why now every every woman i know works uh even my mother who didn't work for a while is back working now uh-huh um-hum um except with the few exceptions of people that are unemployed which is unfortunate lately um every woman i know works my wife took some time off after we had our uh child our first child um-hum but even that she's planned on getting work which good for her is she works in a profession that she could get work at home so she's going to oh well that's good that's really good so we don't have to do the yeah she's an editor so she gets to do that and my sister she's a what an editor oh an editor like in publishing yeah oh that's really good she can do that at home she could do that at home so that's good yeah i wish they could come up with more jobs for women to stay home with their younger children yeah i think that's the dilemma unfortunately unfortunately unfortunately my wife is in a profession that is uh relatively high amount of women in in publishing um-hum uh and it just so happens or maybe doesn't so happen that it's not a very high paying field now maybe that's because there's a lot of women in it like you're saying women are underpaid uh the amount of money that she was making didn't didn't make it worth her while to uh you know yeah well pay a babysitter and not be home pay for a babysitter or day care uh-huh um-hum uh you know say that and and on top of the fact that um-hum plus the clothing she has to have to wear sure sure that on top of the fact that that uh uh she can do some work at home that that it makes it makes it a perfect fit but well that may be a thing for the future the computers now that they're trying to stress that for women to yeah or to have so women can stay home and work on computers or or have day care at the work place one or the other um-hum uh but unfortunate it's like that's not doing too well i know a lot of lot of lot of times it's the opposite though a lot of times um men stay home and the women women go to work which i think is good if you're not breast feeding that's not i haven't found anybody like that i've heard of that but i haven't met anyone like that yeah no i i i've known a few people and i've read uh about others you know just like articles and stuff about other people doing it i certainly would do it uh i have no problem with that unfortunately i'm paid a lot more than my wife so it wouldn't be worth it yeah um for our family but i well how do you think women's roles are going to change in the future um well i think as as time as time goes on women will um definitely have a better better better role in the work place i think that you know the first wave of women in the work place in any substantial degree was in you know like in the seventies and eighties uh-huh and i think as women take on um roles of uh more importance in in jobs and and also again not to sounds i don't want to sound like you know like i like i think it's hard but i mean a lot of times women were given jobs because they were women you know and i think once once it evens out so that women get the jobs that they deserve and get the pay that they deserve which will often be uh-huh powerful positions where there will be less discrimination in hiring when they hopefully when they hire well see i in the past i could understand why men got paid more than women because they were the they called them the bread winners and they'd support the whole family you know yeah but that's but that's not the case now that's why not the case so i that's why i don't think that they should get paid more than the woman if they're sudden doing the same job why would it be fair earlier i mean you know you've done our most recent uh in series of projects i guess was inside was uh we remodeled the bathroom recently and how did it go well it went pretty well um other than the fact that we encountered some uh problems that you run across in older homes with uh plumbing which one thing led to another and eventually we ended up replacing all the pipes from the sink clear back to the main drain which meant you need take the wall out and start all over jeez it's like starting over i guess oh it wasn't one of those it started out as a Sunday project and by the by the next Sunday it was done it wasn't a one-dayer uh-huh and it boy that sounds like uh course uh i don't know once you get it done then you probably won't have that problem again believe me yeah it's good for another thirty years um it you've got an older house yes they uh built a little bit more sturdy than well that's the thing that surprised me because once i got into the plumbing everything in there was copper and it was all soldered right oh is that right that's what drove me bananas because you know i'm going to the hardware store saying give me plastic pipe and and yes and cement and it's all been so to fit them together and nothing wanted to go so it was like i had to go all the way back to the main drain and start all over and just start at square one really huh that was an all day job just to get it plumbed well and then if you do it wrong fortunately i was very fortunate uh in the fact that uh when i made the installation of the sink and everything bolted up and we turned the water on nothing leaked everything went all right everything worked and i just said that's marvelous i appreciate it that's the type of thing you cross your fingers and are glad when that happen well i expected something to leak you know left a fitting loose or didn't use Teflon tape on one or something like that right yeah right but it all came together so i i felt pretty fortunate about that all worked out all right huh how about you well um ah probably the last thing i did was uh paint and wallpaper kids room um-hum and uh i learned uh i used the wrong kind of paint this wasn't must have not been a very good quality because it just hasn't stood up very well what kind of paint it was a latex plaint paint it was flat and i wonder if maybe i should've used the gloss um-hum uh but they say you uh use your gloss mainly in your kitchens and things like that yeah that and semigloss for trim work and usually flat for walls yeah but i think maybe uh i don't know if it was just the was it not washable paint well it it is a latex paint but it just kind of is so you know so it's supposed to wash you're supposed to be able to wash it um-hum but it um just looks dingy i don't know how else to explain it just it's pink what color is it pink okay it's kind of got uh oh just kind of a worn look to it i don't even even know how to say just didn't turn out quite as nice as i would have liked but did you uh require more than one can of paint we put two coats on it and it's a small room but i think it only took one uh can um-hum you didn't have to mix paint then right no okay we did uh oh you do mix the color as far as you start with uh white and then they add the color you know what i'm saying but um-hum yeah yeah but you only had one can of paint that you did the entire room with yes right and then i wallpapered a couple of walls and uh how'd that go well that was the first time i've ever wallpapered and uh that's a an education in itself kind of fun isn't it really but uh the dye lots uh must have been a little bit different from first of all it takes quite a few rolls even a small room if you're trying to match a design and i repeating patterns is what you have to check for when you when you buy your paper yes that's what i needed and i didn't think about that i got a Mickey Mouse print is what i got and so a lot is wasted yeah normally it will tell you on the roll how often a pattern repeats so you'd know how i see i didn't even think to look for that and then the yeah one of them was just a different color different color pink is what it ended up being hm and i when you did your papering did you start in the middle of the wall no i didn't is that how you're supposed to do or did you start at the edge i started at one edge and went over then you had to cut around the closet um-hum and cut around a window um-hum but uh i've had my best luck in papering when i start in the middle of a wall and i'll start with a plumb line and start right there and start in the middle of the wall and and go from there and go all the way around the room it seem to get it straighter is that the advantage or what's the well you you this is a kind of ironic subject for me because this is the first year um i purchased i mean i i was actually able to uh get some credit cards because i'm twenty one and i got it through school oh uh-huh uh and i i've kind of you know you kind of make a purchase and you and you forget you know what you put on your credit card and you know within a month you know they send you your bill and uh i i'm about three thousand dollars in debt right now oh dear it can add up in a hurry yeah they do i mean it's amazing it's like a an an illness or a sickness or something uh-huh well it's it's uh it's easy to use there's no doubt about them i've had i've had one for oh probably ten years now and if you can if you pay it off every month generally generally you're okay um our experience has been um we usually pay it off each month but around Christmas time um-hum we sometimes have to slide a month or a month or so to yeah Christmas time i can understand but what my after i got one i didn't just stop i got i've got about five yeah get caught up oh uh-huh they'll send you one about every time you turn around six six credit cards yeah and uh so i just charged a little on each and uh and you just get the um uh-huh the adding machine out and you add it up and it's it's amazing well you see these people that cut there's up say it's time to uh-huh we went to we went on vacation and uh and i charged a lot you know just well i charged um like clothes for the vacation and then on the vacation you know charged your hotel uh-huh yeah right and then you know when you got to eat you charge the rest i mean you know it's so convenient and oh and there's uh and you just don't i guess you know i'm just really stupid i just didn't realize yeah well i like them for a couple of aspects one is you don't have to carry a lot of cash with you um-hum and the other is you know you got that statement and you can make one payment you don't have to write out a bunch of checks or always be paying for things it's convenient from that standpoint so it's it's nice from that standpoint from that angle but it can get out of hand in the interest rate on them is is quite high generally there are some that are lower you know you can get some that are um-hum oh probably around twelve thirteen percent but most are around sixteen to eighteen or higher um-hum yeah i have a friend that um she's married and her and her husband uh she said you know they tried really hard to pay them off and it took them three years before they were able to uh pay off their credit cards okay yeah although you know they keep increasing your limit too you know i had a card that uh um-hum well i think it started out with like a fifteen hundred dollar limit and i've had it for several years and i think i'm now up to uh seven thousand five hundred on it um-hum i mean i'm not course i don't always spend that much but that's what they'd let me spend if i wanted to um-hum i guess they they get to trusting you a little bit and i want to hold that bait out i don't know if the card companies that you have usually around Christmas time they'll they'll send you a little group of checks um-hum say instead of using your credit card if you want to just go ahead and write these checks and we'll charge it'll go right against your account they they try to induce you during the Christmas season to to wrack up a few more dollars um-hum um-hum so i think they're good but you've got to be careful yeah that'd be my overall summary i think it was hard for me because i wasn't working at the time and i was just going to school uh-huh and it was like every weekend i would just it's it was like sickness to me and i just got and just yeah spend uh but well i don't know everybody likes them at least for a couple of things they're they're handy they're nice on when you travel just yeah well what kind do you have um i have a Discover oh uh-huh and a Visa um-hum a Sears and i have like most of the department stores yeah well the Discover one is supposed to pay you back a little bit yeah have you experienced that or not i have um i have maxed that one what have you well that's uh i think that one's sponsored by Sears if i yeah it is and i got the Sears through the Discover before i had um and i didn't even know i went over my limit i mean that's i just didn't even add it up i don't know i'm just oh yeah i was just going crazy well and there's about fourteen hundred dollars on that card uh-huh well it can it doesn't take long i i just ordered a video camera yesterday and that's why that always bothers me a little bit to give your credit card number over the telephone but i um-hum i wouldn't do that i would not do that i've seen on TV and and there's too many scams yeah and there there can be there's no doubt about it we've gonna go first no go ahead you called all right um right now i'm a college right now i'm a college student as a matter of fact so i'm pretty fresh with it i just think a lot of it depends on a variety of thing it depends on for me it was a combination of finance uh-huh um being in a place where i would enjoy the atmosphere and where i'd feel comfortable as well as just the general type of education that the school gives yeah well i i don't know i think it depends a lot on um well all those things decided that's true but i had got my daughter into college last year and it was really a major decision uh-huh but there were just so many things to consider and i don't really think we even considered all of the things we should have um-hum uh so she's out in California oh is she yeah but what we didn't consider was coming back and forth and things like that you know yeah really so that's kind of yeah exactly yeah that was kind of hard so i don't know i think it's always confusing it's hard to make a choice oh absolutely i think you know like you said a lot of it there a lot things for example i go to school out in Utah and my family lives here in Texas and so it's kind of like you said uh i never realized what an expense it would be trying to come home and uh-huh it really is and you don't get to come home as much as you think you will no i maybe have been home oh twice in the last two years for Christmas yeah yeah yeah so it's really hard to do that yeah it is and i think to there's there's a lot of times like you said that's one of the major considerations is you know how much do you want to be with your family or how much do you wanna and that's something that i didn't think about until i was already out there and i don't think you even know that answer until you go either yeah exactly you know everybody's anxious to get going and get away and go do their thing but then they really want to come home and they can't always uh-huh yeah yep that's for sure so that's kind of hard too but you learn to appreciate what you had yeah that's true isn't it yeah it is i know it is so what other points did you guys look at when you were trying to find her school well the size of the school because we live in Plano so the schools are really big here very crowded so she didn't want a school that was really too big uh-huh right uh-huh and we looked at that and i don't know that that's really relevant because you're gonna end up with your little group anyway yeah so i'm not sure that it makes too much of a difference although we did find that like down in Texas um at UT you know down in Austin uh-huh that those classes are so full like you can have two hundred kids in a class yeah and see i think that makes a huge difference where i so that would be horrible you know it is where i'm going my freshman year i didn't have a single class with less than nine hundred students that's horrible oh my gosh yeah and it was it was frustrating you'd see a TA once a week and even the TAs rarely knew who you were so yeah it became a thing like you said where you're where you're competing either to you know to get someone's attention to get help or you just kind of if you're not self motivated where i'm going it's really hard to where're you going um to Brigham Young University and it's that crowded is it really um in the freshman classes that are you have there's about twenty four thousand students oh and so it's kind of it's a lot of fun when you get in the upper level upper level classes it's a lot easier but yeah yeah wow gosh and that's something that i hadn't considered because i was i was raised in Plano as well and i went to Plano East and i never you know there's lots of students but there wasn't that many you know thirty or thirty five in a class i didn't mind yeah where are you in college now i'm a junior junior yeah um-hum my daughter went to Plano East too she twirled oh did she oh cool yeah but she was the only twirler they've ever had so but that's what she's doing out in California that's why she's out there great because we had to consider where a good spot was too and yeah and that should you know i think a lot of it depends on like you said i think for me what i wanted to get out of the college experience had a lot to do with it it wasn't it was a combination of academics as well as other things so yeah yeah well but a lot of times kids aren't sure what they want to be like she started out with sports psychology so we looked all over that was a hard thing to find uh-huh right and then she changed her mind anyway and i think most most people do that i think these days you know yeah see and they say that that's average yeah uh i have three or four times yeah because that's very common so maybe that's not such a great reason to look at a school i don't know yes i think for me personally when i was choosing i was looking more the overall experience instead of just yeah you know but the specific field that i was looking into at that time so yeah well she was too when you live in Plano you know you sort of have everything you really spoiled everybody here at school we all are all our kids are you know to be honest and we went out to USC because they wanted her to twirl for them yep uh-huh and she was terrified she was just terrified of living in LA uh-huh she was too scared to go there so i guess you have to look at that too yeah and i understood it at the time when we went to the campus and visited i thought oh gosh it would just kind of pets you got well we got two Cocker Spaniels at the house uh a female and a and a male and at the office i have tropical fish how about yourself fish in the office may dad used to have fish in his office years ago we've got three cats meow meow cats meow meow cats that's that's exactly what they do we got we've got um one that's about three and a half and he's black and white and one that's three and she's all white although she's a little dirty now and then we got one that's a year old and is what they call tortoise tortoise hair which is kind of multi multicolored and um she's the one that's most vocal i think my sister and her husband had cat and it was kind of an alley cat and it kept going out in the alley and getting pregnant and it looked kind of like a Persian cat but anyway went and got pregnant the first time they advertised in the newspaper free kittens and and nobody would come over and do anything and then they changed to ad to read Persian like kittens thirty five dollars and they were gone in one day free market it worked well all all our cats have been uh have been neutered or spayed or what have you our white cat has got some Persian like qualities and big and it's and it's very long haired which makes it look even bigger the other two are short haired cats we let our female uh get pregnant as a matter of fact it's AKC so we reached out for a stud and when the the uh puppies arrived we made sure the children were there to see it uh we thought it was a very simple uh course in birth birds and the bees and uh the dog has had two litters and i'm glad the children experienced the process uh i didn't see anything wrong with it as i said we're we're not going to end up with any kittens we figured we had two other cats before these both of one of which died from old age um-hum it was about um fourteen and a half and then one died very young from feline leukemia years ago when they didn't you know now they've got shots for feline leukemia but back when this cat died which was oh some ten years ago they didn't have feline leukemia shots so so it got ill then it got better and then it got ill and died immediately so huh well we nearly lost a dog the second time she had a litter we didn't get her on vitamins soon enough some distressed children uh the dog was just the hindquarters wouldn't work so we ran to the vet one Sunday morning believe it or not they've got twenty four hour vets in emergency clinics and they they charge they charge like that too and uh he said well there's three things and he said well that's not it the second one that's not by the time he got to second that's not the kid's were in the lobby just crying their heads off and the third one got corrected the dog and we saved the dog thank goodness it just it didn't have the right vitamins to keep it going with the the puppies draining her milk oh my so we enjoy dogs because uh they kind of bark when someone shouldn't be around the house we do not let them in the house at all but they're outside dogs and uh what are your cats do they uh meow at all if some stranger comes well i don't think so but they're inside um part of the time outside part of the time and um oh i don't know they uh well they're not watch cats or anything but i tell you what we don't have any mice or or any uh rodents or anything like that they they certainly keep things uh neat and clean things stay away do do do they actually kill mice uh well at one time we know we've had cats that have killed mice and most of time unfortunately they end up killing birds ooh and they'll leave us a present on the back or front step and there'll be a bird missing a head or you know whatever but uh we got in at least once i saw cat one of the cats not this cat but one of them that's now died that that had a had a mouse and one time one of the cats got a a rabbit that was in the backyard killed it no uh we got it to let go the rabbit we heard this horrible shrill noise and didn't know what it was and it was a rabbit screaming for it life so we went out there and convinced the cat to let go of the rabbit well we've got a pet rabbit in the house i forgot to mention that and uh when we've been having a fence put in the dog got to the rabbit and it was no longer a live rabbit oh my well i we where over to a friend's house they had a pet rabbit and this pet rabbit looks just like our white cat we always called the white cat a big rabbit and the fact of it the cat and the rabbit looked pretty similar have you heard about people that house train their rabbits these people had their rabbits outside well this is our we do too it's in a cage but people um what do you feel about child care well fortunately my children are pretty much beyond that mine are too but i think it's a real real a real serious situation for a lot of people it certainly is and i don't you know a lot about it where where you're working for this school department yes um our YMCA has after school child care um at several of the schools so that they don't even have to you know go anywhere yeah leave the school uh-huh um and then for other schools that they don't have it at the school they have it at the Y and they pick them up in a a you know a van or whatever i think it kind of depends on how many um-hum well you're probably in a more uh oh what we we live in a rural rural area students oh okay and so i think most of the people around here that have to leave their children leave them with uh neighbors or people you know in a home situation um-hum um-hum um-hum well that's always nice too i did that when mine were were littler so uh-huh the uh first couple of years that i i worked only halftime when my first child was born and and he just stayed with a friend or somebody that maybe had one child you know his age um-hum um and that always seemed to work out real well and you know when somebody would decide to quit or something i always felt real panicky um-hum but always seemed to manage to find somebody that i thought was just as wonderful as the other one you know so it seemed to work out yeah did you have you worked all the time your children were little um uh when i had my second one i stayed home for three and a half years oh uh-huh and then and then went back so but that's about the time then they could go into a preschool situation right right unfortunately the preschool that i wanted the second one to go to because my first one had oh is a preschool that does not have any day care at all but it's such a wonderful preschool so i had to find somebody else to keep them and then and then somebody to take them there uh-huh oh so that's always another problem oh yes uh you know i don't know how people we it's pretty cold here in Utah in the winter and i think i just think it would be so hard to have to get a child up a baby um um-hum um-hum and take it in the cold to someone early in the morning right yep i think that that i would let i think i would sooner have it in someone in the home taking care of it um-hum but then that's awfully expensive too in a home yeah well i mean if so you have someone come into your home oh yes uh-huh to come into your home but i you know that that would be real nice but just almost almost cost prohibitive prohibitive you know um-hum yes unless you can get could get a a nanny or something that i know a lot of the girls here go off as nannies uh-huh and stay in people's homes and take care of them after they've graduated from high school not a lot but some of them oh uh-huh uh-huh but uh i think that'd be an ideal situation i've never had to to uh work out of the home i've had we had uh six children and they just uh-huh i would just i was just here with them well you just worked period huh if you had six children right and right well there was seventeen years between them but that uh yeah well i just i just really that's what i wanted to do you know and but i know that my uh-huh yeah children's spouses and i have five boys and a girl and uh oh where did the girl come in the middle uh-huh we kept trying but uh the our our daughter or none of them have worked very much while their children have been little middle oh that's good um-hum so but uh we have fourteen grandchildren so this is i i feel lucky that they have not had to go out of the home right right because i i i don't know i just think that those first two or three years and then again in high school they they need their mother there yeah that's true yeah that is true well how cold is it up there so uh it's in the how cold is it honey right now about twenty eight oh okay well it's about fifty here so uh no it's quit yeah it was bad there for a little bit but uh anyway is it still raining oh good are you um-hum what do you do in the school district do you i'm a librarian oh well that's be interesting i love books um-hum yeah i liked that a lot and i kind of wanted to continue it even though my children were you know when they were born but like i said i was able to stay home for so uh-huh those three years so it made a difference well i think if you're trained and i think if you feel it within yourself that you want to be out you know and you you have uh you have the ability and stuff that's great there were times when i would have loved to have got you know uh-huh to left to have left my kids and you know um-hum to get out yeah that's true i think and everybody feels that way at times at least i'm sure they do and then also that you'd love to be home at i'm sure that's so too at other times but uh one thing i think it does do is it it it forces it forces you to make your children be organized and and i think it makes them more independent um-hum and independent that's right that okay all set then uh what do you think about it uh i think it's a real good concept uh drug testing procedures would have to be refined um-hum from what i've seen on the news there's a a a pretty good size problem with poor accuracy poor procedure in uh drug testing oh i didn't realize that yeah um there have been people who have been turned down for jobs because there was a drug showed up in their in their uh test but they didn't know for sure what it was but it was a drug so they got turned down and uh turns out it was a prescription or people getting somebody else's blood test um-hum same sort of problem that happens sometimes with these some of these uh like AIDS tests and such okay um-hum yeah that's right i have heard uh i don't remember what they call it sort of like a positive negatives or some some kind of word they use when a uh you get a uh a positive indication of drugs but there's not really there weren't really any there uh every now and then there's an error and people are really upset about that when it comes to their rights and their rights being violated yeah oh yeah yeah i i work here at Texas Instruments so uh we we do a let me think do we yeah everyone coming in i guess i did three years ago yeah yeah everyone coming in uh goes through the drug testing procedure and um-hum they talk about it as a you know as as better for the country and better for the working conditions uh yeah if they uh they test for drugs i i'm i can't even remember if we do random sampling anymore i know we did in the military but i don't know if once your in they continue to do it but i guess you're always on call for it yeah yeah i not very long ago worked for Wal-Mart and about a year and a half ago they instituted a uh uh-huh a uh drug testing program uh well drug and alcohol testing program it's it's not a random through the system as each employee comes in um-hum uh-huh part of the hiring procedure is a a blood test um but and uh i think the big problem though is is they send these off to large labs in my uh-huh right and then they have thousands and thousands of the samples that uh going through it in a day and bottles get mixed up and things like that a potential for inaccuracy so your big beef with it is the uh is is it's a good idea but like you said the drug testing procedures need to be defined a little better or make sure it's a lot safer because a couple of people are going to be discriminated against unfairly or whatever yeah i i i tend to agree with you David yeah yeah yeah my brother uh my brother used to work for Wal-Mart and then i don't know if he still does or what because i don't know if Sam's is actually part of it but he you know is working at Sam's now yeah yeah Sam's is part of Wal-Mart okay yeah then he's been working for the company for a while too yeah he enjoys it good company um you all uh have some his yeah oh yeah the company i thought was a great place to work telling me about good profit sharing and all that so um-hum it's good news yeah they got to have had two or three years in with them then you start buying stock and you have a have a little taken out of your check each each payday to put against uh uh stock portfolio uh not portfolio just you know against Wal-Mart stock uh-huh um-hum but uh you can build a pretty fair amount of stock after a while yeah that's what my brother was telling me that's good good news good deal well uh how long were we supposed i haven't done this in a couple months how long were we supposed to discuss for uh you're supposed to get five minutes okay we got a couple more minutes then i guess uh think what else i can say about that um um do you have any idea uh let's see were you were you were tested for drugs as you got into uh as as you got into TI right um everyone coming in gets goes through the drug test yeah uh now uh were you asked to wait before starting to work until the drug test came through or uh no well let me think about that yeah it was after i was i had already been hired um yeah you get hired then you come in the first i oh okay seems to me i remember that uh i was hired came in and went through some orientation and i thought i boy i can't remember that would seem strange to already be working here in the first week of the drug test maybe it was during the interview i came up a couple times for an interview so it's hard for me to remember where i was when all that happened but uh i guess just like other companies other friends i've been hearing about that have been moving around it's it's before they have to wait for the drug test to come in before you actually get employment so i'm sure that happened to me too yeah yeah what what about oh they just instituted it there at Wal-Mart so yeah they they it was after i was already working there and they weren't testing any of those that were already working so right right yeah i wasn't what do you how what do you think of your news coverage and where do you get most of it uh usually uh either TV or radio oh oh it it seems like uh-huh sometime uh we get the weekend paper but uh even then it just seems that sometimes you're so busy you don't wanna take an hour or so to sit down the paper um-hum so it's so much quicker just to hear you know hear it on the radio or watch TV yes we don't go to bed at night usually until we've seen the news at ten so that's probably well we do take a daily paper too uh-huh oh you do uh-huh um-hum but it's out of Ogden and so it it's not very you know it's not probably as big as yours and sometimes i wonder about the newspaper coverages too anyway yeah oh yeah because i've known stories that have happened and then read it in the paper and it hasn't been all that accurate um-hum um-hum not quite the same yeah and a lot of times when you have two different um papers you get two different stories that's true although i think that's the same on TV too you know you'll get one you know one day and one the next day on the same thing and so but i yeah right oh excuse me i enjoy i enjoy the news i like to keep up on whatever's happening oh i do too so it's just it's so much easier just to you know listen to the radio in your car it seems like or just to sit down for a short while and watch the news than it is to sit down and you know i mean i'll read periodicals and stuff too but um um-hum usually those come out after the fact and course they give you more information so if you want that then that's fine uh yeah well i think sometimes you know you'll hear it on TV and you want want to go into it deeper you uh you can get it in a magazine or a paper right right a newspaper and then on the radio you know they usually uh give the news every hour yeah uh-huh and so i i like that too especially when we're traveling right yeah i know that when i'm on vacation i am like seems like i'm totally out of it i don't know what's going on and i don't really care so well that's true too it's kind of nice to get away from it all yeah uh-huh but you know if there's a story that you're particularly interested in it's good to to be able to follow up on it you know so right yeah but uh we have a a news station too that is uh KSL out of Salt Lake that covers just it's a talk show and there's news almost constantly on it oh uh-huh and then CNN has news constantly too right right so do you have cable no we don't so we don't watch CNN oh oh well we couldn't get TV here if we didn't have cable we live close to the mountain oh okay and uh the signal the signal doesn't come because we're kind of behind a mountain right right so we couldn't get it if we didn't have cable cable in fact we've when we first moved out here for the first probably twenty years we couldn't it was really snowy oh is that right our reception and you know we'd watch it and the kids would watch it but it wasn't all that good uh-huh so so you figured might as well get the cable huh yeah well we were glad when it came but it just keeps going up in price too so that's kind of detriment too right but we've thought of getting a satellite so that we could get more stations but uh it wouldn't i don't know now that'll be nice yeah but i don't think we're gonna to do it because it's uh you can't get local stations and that's the news that we're mostly interested in uh-huh right yeah and back to news flash from our high school today we have one high school in town and they had to evacuate it because the furnace was acting up and was threatening to blow up oh is that right i bet the kids were happy yeah they i think they were yeah well we had uh i don't know if your son told you but we had two papers here in Dallas and now we just have the one we saw it on TV before he told us oh okay so that'll probably make a difference in the reporting yeah does uh how much does your newspapers cost they are um on the weekends gosh um let me see i've got this on Sunday it's a dollar um-hum and during the week i'm not really sure how much it is it's probably i guess you know seventy five cents or so i would think um-hum ours is eight dollars a month so how would that figure up with what you'd do uh-huh but you get it every day don't you oh so that's that's really good then yes yes it's kind of a skinny newspaper except when the ads you know like at Christmas time or Thanksgiving or right so it's uh but we i enjoy it i'd hate to be without a newspaper and then we get the local you know the little Brigham City one it's uh comes once a week uh-huh yeah that must uh do you have a hard time keeping up with it reading everything keep no oh well that's good no but do you wanna tell me about your budgeting plan yeah our budgeting plans includes me getting a job we're we're at the point now i i uh i quit working about six months ago to start this house uh-huh and i'm out of cash and i'm not out of project yet oh no so uh i'm gonna go back and do some consulting work as far as budget's concerned i'm i'm fairly fortunate uh we've we're right now where if we don't buy anything extra we can make it on what my wife makes so uh the project's kind of halted until then as far as budgeting is concerned you know we have uh some pretty strict guidelines that we go for you know we always put ten percent back and that's a never touch uh into savings yeah huh either savings or investment one of the two but we don't ever put it at a high risk it's just always gonna be there well that's pretty good and as far as the rest of it's concerned we don't have any kind of uh what i would call extravagant expenses you know uh we uh we pretty much live on about eight nine hundred a month you know just travel to and from work and clothing and food boy that's pretty good and the rest of it you know we pile into the house and uh you know i'm fairly fortunate i mean our credit cards are out to the max right now because i'm sure a little a little behind on that but uh we're still making the payments on them it's just uh when you see in Texas you cannot borrow the money to build your own home and do it yourself yeah it's it's tough here too you have to have the contractor sign with you right exactly but it's easy to find a contractor for a couple of hundred bucks who'll sign it and let you do it here in Utah where i live that is yeah and where i live it it's pretty scary because Texas is one of those strange states where if you have a contractor sign on your note like that and you screw up you don't get it finished the bank can eat the contractor uh-huh oh bad for him huh yeah bad for him but the homeowner can't be touched it's a homestead state hum is that right yeah see right now if i quit paying any of my bills the only thing they could do is cut off the electricity they can't take your land unless you don't pay your land taxes period wow you know they take your car and your clothes and your anything that's not the tools of your trade but as far as uh you know you're pretty much bullet proof in this state well that's kind of handy yeah i just finished James Michener's Texas book pretty interesting uh-huh Texas has quite the history well you know we're we're not ones to budget much you know we just got to spend it all that's kind of what we do we uh we're LDS and so we pay ten percent tithing um-hum um-hum and then i know we put i guess it's like fifteen to twenty percent into a savings account um-hum but that sometimes we use for emergency type things yeah but uh and my wife doesn't work we're fortunate that way that i make enough to do what we wanna do yeah yeah we're pretty pretty fortunate as far as the uh the budgeting is concerned because you know we don't have any long term debt you know uh we paid cash for car well we bought the car on time one of them but we you know we since paid it off and well that's pretty the land is paid for cash so we don't have to worry about that that's a great position to be in well it's fraught with other problems is that right yeah i'm not very motivated oh what kind of consulting do you do uh systems consulting computerization for construction firms is that right i'm into computers too i i'm a E D P auditor yeah are you oh and you into mainframes yeah and PCs and oh really yeah i'm just brushing up on well C plus plus are you really uh-huh and i just got that a few days ago trio oh jeez don't get me to lying i bought it at a fire stale ah this guy's place burned down and he had a bunch of computer stuff and you know i bought it all it was two hundred bucks for everything he had you got a buy well some of it wasn't worth anything you know you know a lot of the uh diskettes were just totally unusable sure melted well yeah or wet or just wet or okay but i did get out of there with uh Vermont Views which is a huge subroutine library do you do you have a lot of credit cards um no i have i have two actually well that's all i have too yeah i um one of them one of them i use one of them i don't uh one of them is like an American Airlines thing where you get free mileage oh yeah i've heard about those i yeah it's pretty good i use that and i got i'm close to a free plane ticket anywhere in the United States oh that's nice and and the other one is uh um a credit card i got it was a while ago i got it like a free gold card and it's good if i ever rent a car it pays for uh it pays for the insurance oh really so i keep that i never use that one but i happen to be going on vacation soon and i'm going to be renting a car so i'll put it on that card and then if i got an accident they would pay for the insurance yeah they would pay for the accident really really yeah i only have two one of mine's a gas card that i use just for my gas to and from work and the other one's a Visa for emergencies only yeah like if i go on trips and stuff i take it with me in case my car breaks down or something but other than that i keep it locked up yeah i never i never uh like i always pay you know like sometimes i use it out of convenience but i don't i don't run like on a a monthly balance you know i always pay whatever it is that that month yeah i just i make it a habit not even to carry my Visa because i've seen too many of my friends get in deep financial trouble with it um yeah well you can't it sometimes it easy i live in in in New York City and uh if you're going to go out and buy something for a hundred two hundred dollars not that it's such a dangerous place but you know i just sometimes i don't feel that comfortable carrying a lot of money around so it's good to have a credit card to pay for it with that um i use it for that where you live in LA yeah no thank heavens i live in National City which is almost as bad where is that National City it's outside of San Diego oh okay okay and unfortunately there's a lot of gangs around here so it's like i don't carry money and i don't carry credit cards right uh yeah it's probably a good idea but uh yeah but i i don't mind i i don't see what the big deal is with um i i i couldn't see spending more than i had to pay the bill with because eventually it's going to catch up with you i know i don't see how people can do that either but i know a lot of my friends have gotten in trouble deep trouble with them and it's like well why'd you guys do it oh well it's so easy to use right and it's like yeah it's easy to use but you have to pay for it you know didn't this dawn on you but sure sure i got my credit cards through a guarantee agency do you know what that is right uh no you give them you put so much money in an annuity and it guarantees your credit card like say if something happened to you they could still pay off the balance with what's in there right that's cool and whatever your limit is you keep that much in your annuity fund and it's worked pretty good for what i've had it for about five years now and you can take the annuity out the money out of the annuity if you want to but it's just there like you know in case you died suddenly or something right right you know they wouldn't be stuck with the bill cool cool that that's so i like it that way yeah you know they get paid for if you're dead right you know yeah at least they won't be coming after my husband you know saying hey your wife's charged so much money on this credit card we want the money that's true but then again you don't have to deal with him if you're dead so no but i don't know i wouldn't want to leave him and my kids in that kind of a situation that's true that's true but i'll tell you what it comes in real handy when you've got kids cause we went we went on a trip to Arizona we drove there and the car broke down and it was me and my husband and our two kids in that car and Arizona is really hot right and it's like you know if we didn't have that Visa we would've been stuck there in that heat for heaven knows how long yeah that was like yeah like like the first time i ever got a credit card was for that reason because i was in uh where the heck was i i forget where i was i know i was in Europe one time and they ran out of money but i couldn't get money on my credit card either oh i was up i was dating a woman upstate New York and i was up in uh upstate and i had been in college and i guess i took like a hundred two hundred dollars with me or whatever at that time time maybe fifty bucks was enough to live on for a week but i i took some money with me and i ran out of money like at the end of the first weekend i was supposed to be there for a week yeah huh and i needed to i called up my father and i said dad you know go to my bank account and withdraw a couple of hundred bucks or whatever it was and could you send it Western Union and it was a pain in the neck i had to like wait till Monday and you know wait till the office opened and it took time and everything became a pain so what i did was i uh yeah so what i did right after that is i got myself a credit card in case it ever happened again i can always you know buy something on the credit card and and not have to worry about carrying cash around yeah so that was about ten ten twelve years ago and i've always had one since and like you said for that reason it's it's easy you know if you need the cash i couldn't imagine Nancy do you have any children yes i have a twelve year old and i've been very lucky i haven't needed child care except for my mom so i've been real lucky i'm a nurse i go to school i mean i go to work early oh um-hum so my mom comes over in the morning and gets her ready for his school or just hangs by while she gets ready drives her to school then i'm home to pick her up so i'm very very lucky well that's nice that is lucky well how old um does a child have to be before you have to you get to stop making arrangements for him i wonder well i could do it now but she gets lonely in the morning and i feel better um she has a crazy father out there somewhere that i just don't let her out of my sight so um-hum uh-huh well and um it's nice for them not to be alone um you never know yeah yeah she feels that way you know and we have a neighbor on the next block that she could always walk over there and go to school with but uh-huh we just feel better doing it this way so i don't know what day we'll stop we we were about to stop one day this year and then her father called the school and made all kinds of threats and so that is a rule oh no we didn't stop and so so um you know it you realize that it only takes one second for something to happen so even though she's twelve she's still a kid so yes she is you got to be careful well i'm glad you had that um opportunity to have your mom yeah i'm i'm glad too well i I have two kids and uh five and six a girl and a boy and um so far i haven't had to make a lot of child care arrangements for them because um uh-huh i'm at home now full time but um when i was going to school i would go to school a time that my husband wasn't you know when he was at home uh-huh yeah so that we would just switch back and forth like that but um it's really scary and i would really hate to be in a position to have to find child care well i would too because even though a place can look pretty good on the outside we're finding out now that it's not always on the inside and um-hum and i i just don't know what i would do if i had to do that i know the hospital that i work in is big hospital and they provide child care and of course they charge for it but at least all the nurses can leave their children and no um-hum they're always watching them they can eat lunch with them if they feel sick they can call them at work and they run over and check on them and they feel a little better than if they dropped them off somewhere on the way um well that's nice so yeah it is nice and i know that i have um done some babysitting myself and uh when i was in school and needed extra money and i know how i feel how i felt as a provider of child care that even though you're you're taking care of someone else's child and you're forcing yourself to you know treat them equally and you know better usually better than your own um it's not the same and it made me realize that um no one will love your child as much as you and your mother your right right well that's right yeah right and um the family and no one will look out after them and i just think um so far i think my preference would be rather than to have like a oh a big day care that um what is that like child KinderCare and things like that rather than having one where they would deliver the children to school in a van or something right i would prefer to have in home care either my own home or a neighbor or something yeah yeah just never know i babysat for the little girl next door for a year or so when her parents first got divorced and uh-huh it it was hard to treat her equally with my child they were the same age and they played together and they were good friends but like you said you tend to go more for the other one's side just because you are responsible and so it it got hard and my daughter got jealous and right it is hard um it just wasn't the same as when they were just playing as friends because she had to be there every day so i stopped that after a year because it was difficult to balance it so no no and i know um when i pick my kids up from school they wanna come home and i and i would hate for them to have be picked up by a day care and be taken to another large group situation they do um-hum um-hum i know i know so i think uh my preference would be a small small if i had to find day care would be a small someone that i knew yeah yeah well i would rather do without some things and i know that some parents they both do have to work but a lot of people where i live are working just because they want bigger and better um-hum and i would never do that i never have done it and i just never would do it i would rather do without some things that really aren't very important compared to being with my child when they're growing up so no well that's true because even now when they're gone to school it seems like there's just not enough time left over in the day no there isn't there isn't any time that's true and uh by the time they have to eat and have homework and they want some free time and there's just not enough to time in the day to do anything good quality for them but that's really okay okay i was watching the soap opera awards um and and it's it's really making me wanna exercise because every single woman in the audience is oh about ten pounds oh so um i started anchoring last up anchoring uh exercising last about last Spring when i i joined the President's Health Club and i was really motivated and going and i went uh for a little while uh um-hum i went pretty regularly but it's hard to go regularly for a long time um-hum and where i live in Waco uh they don't have anywhere here that is affiliated with President's so now i don't have a club and i'm i don't have any motivation to just go out and jog aimlessly or something like that so i'm not exercising at the time at the moment so i wish i could i wish i did have the motivation to get out and do that but um-hum i just don't like just running with no where to go and i just can't do that so um-hum well i understand that i've been trying to get myself motivated i had gone gotten up regularly for awhile with a neighbor uh she had injured her back and needed a walking partner and i thought that'd be the time to get going um-hum and uh so we walked pretty steadily for about three weeks and uh then she had to get back to work and which was traveling to New York and so she's not around um and i just don't like walking by myself at night or in the dark of the morning and i don't seem to find time in the day time and of course it's motivation that's keeping me from really looking for that opportunity yeah yeah yeah i think a lot of times if you have someone to uh work out with or walk with or something it does give you that motivation and you can also i mean you can you know pretty much do it privately if you had your own private uh oh yeah sort of contest you know where you would try and see if you could lose more weight than your friend or something like that and that would keep you going yeah yeah yeah well more than weight course i could use uh lose certainly from ten to twenty pounds but i think more than that i also notice i just feel better when i exercise um-hum um-hum oh yeah and that's something that i'm motivated about now because i do need to get myself feeling better and just in better shape but um-hum i um all the same it's connected to my attitude because i'm not feeling as perky and good i'm also it's hard to get my attitude to to get myself out there that's very true it seems like you walk quicker and you just perky is a good word for it when you when you exercise yeah yeah and i understand that walking is suppose to be like the best exercise better than running things like that because it it works everything and it gets your breathing up and it it doesn't yeah yeah and you have less less chance of of hurting yourself yeah it doesn't you know hurt you like i understand running hurts your shins or knees or something like that yeah yeah the last time i tried running with my daughter because she's supposed to be jogging in P E and it felt good but then i had so um-hum pulled a muscle in my knee actually i hyper extended it or something and uh boy i was suffering for a good three weeks later wow wow so and i'd never had that problem before but i guess age is starting to catch up to me it's showing up in the weirdest places yeah uh oh huh i guess my favorite my favorite exercise in the uh in the gym is the bikes to go yeah just with the the stationary bikes to just ride oh is it and if you're watching television they usually have television in there or something or if you're listening to a walkman it's pretty it's pretty okay yeah yeah again that's sort of weird because you're you've not going anywhere and it i i used to play racquetball and i really loved that because though it to me it had a point uh-huh yeah you know it was there was points you could you you would make and you know there was a point to it but running and jogging and just not going anywhere it's just because i don't i just can't understand that so i don't do it yeah well i've got a dog now and and of course she needs walking and so that's a little less try you know uh burdensome or boring to be walking at least with her and i do put on the earphones to have something to listen to and oh yeah um-hum hum yeah i know a lot of people just to be safe like you were talking about walking at night and in the morning early in the morning um you see a lot of uh mostly older people though but that uh walk in the malls yeah oh yeah you know like early in the mornings things like that i never tried that yeah i don't know i've i never really even thought about it really that's kind of an idea uh we we have uh over here in Plano a little recreation center that's got a walking track that is also for security as well as the convenience of doing it anytime of the year oh but i find it very tedious because i'm watching the clock constantly and it's just nothing else to look at and i actually get more tired doing that than oh i could walk for three or four miles out in the neighborhood here and feel real good and there i could barely make a couple miles um-hum um do work in a large organization now um well i i work in a actually it's sort of an odd situation right now but uh i have until recently been working in in a uh in a large organization uh-huh and i currently maintain an office still at at the place even though i i officially quit there a few months ago uh-huh but it's it's not really a large organization but uh nearly nearly five hundred people uh-huh oh yeah that's pretty big yeah how about yourself are you i work in a hospital and i think probably there are about seven or eight hundred employees that's uh-huh i guess um the thing i was thinking about as i was pondering this question is um besides salary it seems that people if it's a large enough place need to feel that their job's an important one you know that they have the respect of their fellow employees and their boss hum yeah not lost in the in the crowd huh yeah yeah it's it's more probably an issue in a large organization than it would be in a small one ooh yeah i i think it it's probably the thing is that it's always fairly obvious in a small one right because um yeah right everyone's so integral yeah everybody knows what everybody else is doing and and knows that it's it's generally important um-hum upward mobility or an opportunity to grow and learn different job tasks is probably an important one but it seemed to me that the respect of others is probably real important too but um um-hum what what about what about uh advantages of large organizations i mean benefits and things well i definitely think that health care packages and that sort of thing are probably gonna be easier to coordinate you know in a larger yeah yeah when it when i've worked with a with i mean the the small things i've worked with really haven't had any uh any consistent yeah or any any kind of quality package right i mean it just kind of leaves you on your own yeah i i've had my own little business and then i've worked for small businesses really in health care uh-huh and yeah the the the only ones that i've had large uh uh i mean i've had health care and and and other kinds of benefits with have been large organizations uh-huh vacation and also i work for the university and that that's a is very large organization and uh and were those good um considering the the size of that kind of organization did you feel like that you had good benefits i you you know relative to nothing of course you know i mean it it i think so um the question you know i mean it's it's it's handy to have them i just had gotten used to just not having insurance benefits and things um uh-huh uh-huh did you pay for them on your own or did you just go without um typically let's see uh typically the myself i i was covered myself but my family wasn't you know i had to chip in to for them to be covered but it was pretty economical um-hum um-hum um especially relative to just buying your own health care package right that really gets prohibitive yeah and so you know so that's that's handy uh you know i think that it i'm amazed that uh of the one place i was working uh what they calculate to be their overhead uh because of benefits they figure uh i mean it's something like thirty five forty or fifty percent of of salary yes i've heard that too and which is which is pretty amazing it is especially especially if you consider in some situations people might actually use that much hopefully they budget for that and it doesn't get used up entirely but um-hum it's it's a lot i think that those sorts of advantages are nice i know um my benefits through the hospital cover my family since my husband works for himself out of our home and and and office that's elsewhere but he doesn't um-hum he didn't really ever pursue individual benefits and i think it makes a difference to be able to have the security of an organization's benefits i i think so yeah it really does um do you get other benefits besides health do you have life insurance and things like that it it actually it's interesting just this last week um they introduced what the nineteen ninety two package was gonna look like and while the life insurance that we have free from the hospital is limited to it's uh ten or fifteen thousand um-hum um they offered for the first time a life term that would be up to a hundred and fifty but you have to pay into it right are the rest of the package is pretty good it's vision and dental and you know all the full medical oh well um-hum yeah that's good i I just had uh dental insurance for the first time uh from from an employer which i thought was was pretty handy really took advantage of it i think yeah um do are you finding that that uh the packages uh that your benefits packages are shrinking you know i've seen that all over the bay area in San Francisco bay area at least and probably true in California i haven't yet at our hospital we've kind of been waiting with baited breath we're the only hospital that i know of that doesn't have uh um-hum a partial payment or i don't know if you call it copayment or premium by the the consumer oh uh-huh copayment uh uh-huh so as as of this date my husband and my kids are free because they're dependents but i know a lot of other place like you were mentioning you know you pay if right yeah i i mean i typically you typically pay for dependents and and not for yourself but i i've the you know my company the company i was working with really has has been um you know they don't wanna cut back benefits but on the other hand they're real concerned about the rising costs and and sort of scaling uh uh you know keeping exactly okay okay well i think this is going to probably be the most difficult topic that i've discussed so far yes well have you returned anything lately really you know i just did last week as a matter of fact um i'm wondering if their subject is more uh products by mail or things that you buy at the store but um i bought something through the mail through a merchant through a company that's generally got pretty good products and i was really impressed with the way they handled the return policy they sent UPS to our door to pick it up free of charge which is such a an unusual always have to go to the post office or some place to return it usually uh-huh was this Spiegel by any chance it was Hannah Anderson the children's um clothing don't know that one i know Spiegel does that and yes and uh to me that's very impressive to think that do they it really is but well and did you have any problem obviously had no problem with returning it it took a while because it was the holiday weeks um oh well it was difficult to know when the person was going to arrive we're we're fortunate in that my husband works most of the time out of our home so he was here but it would've probably been an inconvenience if if it had been a home pickup and and we hadn't been here but they were also willing to pick up at work um-hum did did you return it because it was defective or because you just didn't like it it was defective we returned it for the same thing um in a little larger size but it seemed that it was stitched uh around the collar such that the second time she wore it it uh it ripped huh and and i think that's unusual for that company because they do usually have pretty good products but to to answer the question that we were posed about whether things tend to be poor quality i think definitely i think a lot of the things that um are not necessarily low price tend to be manufactured in a lot of cases as if they were lower priced well i know what you mean because a couple years ago i remember i was in one of the nicer department stores and looking at it was one of the designer T-shirts or some sort of thing like that and the thing um-hum it was very expensive you know as they always are and it was a piece of junk you know stitching was terrible i think that they were trying to just you know play on a name yeah exactly yeah and it it's unfortunate you really cannot depend on the the department store's name for that necessarily i don't know if you have Nordstroms in Dallas um-hum no we don't i've been to one of the Nordstroms in um uh New York um-hum nice store they are really nice stores and i think i assumed in the beginning that they would probably carry carry overall pretty good merchandise you you have to be just as careful there as you do at any other lower priced store do you really yeah surprisingly do you have Lord and Taylor there no um uh we're originally from Saint Louis and we came down to Dallas and they have Lord and Taylors here and i look at a lot of their house brands and i am very impressed with the quality of some of the house brands in some of the stores um-hum um-hum does Nordstroms carry their own house brand um you know i don't know that i bet they probably do but i i'm not sure that i've associated some of what i've seen as lines that they always carry as their own brand or just something that they've um gotten at a at a lower uh price because it's a large volume some of their children's lines um-hum um-hum i tend to look there for kids' things because they don't they they sometimes have things that you can't find elsewhere because they have a pretty large variety but not often for myself do you shop by mail quite a bit not that much actually i used to i think before i had a child and because you end up paying for the shipping and handling and everything um it's not as inexpensive and you don't always have the convenience of returning it if it's not right uh i i tend less often to do that today than i might've ten years ago um-hum that's the only problem that i see because uh my sister gets tons of catalogs and passes them on to me and i look at things and they have some gorgeous clothes but the problem is that um-hum you can't always go by sizes you know you'll go to a department store and try on three different sizes in three different manufacturers and they all fit you know differently but uh that's the main thing is that i can't tell exactly um-hum um-hum whether the thing is going to fit or not um-hum and so i tend not to mail order whereas you might take a chance in a store and bring it home and consider it you but i you find that it's a lot more inconvenient to have to have to arrange for returning it if it's by mail well personally i always try on before i buy anyway i just it amazes me when i talk to people that they buy like they buy a bunch of clothes and they don't try anything on they take them home oh really no i meant even if you've tried it on i i'm thinking about some clothes buying for kids or your husband or something it oh okay well that's a different story right yeah it is funny you know i'm also amazed at uh that i read about those i don't know anybody who does this but that people buy clothes and wear them and then think that they can return them i hear about that too and that just appalls me i mean that's stealing really that's what all righty so how what do you think of capital punishment well Texas has capital punishment oh does it yep and uh they go through a set of appeals that lasts seven years and uh there are so many cases here like Sixty Minutes is on right now here there are so many cases here where they proved that they've convicted the wrong person yeah that i'm against it they should just give them life in prison well i feel that way the only exception i think is qualifies for capital punishment is repeat offenders where the offender actually murders people repeatedly right like serial killers or someone who has been convicted more than three times on a murder charge and then gotten out on parole i don't think they should be able to get out on parole and do it again yeah exactly right uh-huh that's the only time i think it's really well like in your state Charles Manson yeah or the guy who killed all those children yeah exactly yeah um-hum and i think i think those types of people deserve capital punishment but i think they should restrict it strictly for repeat offenders or like i said serial killers because i mean a lot of times not a lot of times but quite quite a few times they've convicted innocent people on the first time right um-hum but you know if they've been convicted like three times you know there something's wrong something's going on right so i think that's the only time it's really a necessary yeah i think so too after after it's gone that far then they pretty well have a uh enough proof that that person's the guilty party they can't be rehabilitated rehabilitated either so yeah right but that's really the only time when i agree with it um-hum most of the time i don't think it's a good idea because like you said there have been cases where they've convicted the wrong people yeah just because of circumstances um-hum but in Arizona which is where i'm originally from they had a big thing about capital punishment there because we had like two serial killers within six months caught and they had a big thing about whether they should you know go for capital punishment or not but it's not used in Arizona um-hum so they had a problem with it unfortunately all the people got was sent to jail for a couple of years until they get paroled right i never heard about those unfortunately one of them killed a friend of mine so i was very much involved and when he got out on parole i was like go ahead get out on parole um-hum and after that i had i had to tangle with him and the police caught him the second time and they still wouldn't do anything except send him to jail so yeah i definitely believe if they're repeat offenders they should be something to be done with them other than just sitting there for two years and then getting out and doing it again right but a lot of states have outlawed capital punishment um-hum i don't know which states in general and that's that's the reason that Ted Bundy supposedly went to Florida oh really that was his primary goal was to to have the death penalty hum because he started out in Washington and Oregon and traveled all the way across the country huh i didn't know that they had um Mark Harmon played him they had a movie about it a few years ago yeah really um-hum hum i didn't know that and then of course there was a lot of publicity about it um the days before they killed him yeah um-hum so but and he was really you know he was off the wall so i don't know a lot of the crimes that are done nowadays it's like i think people have to be off the wall to do them but i still don't believe capital punishment should be used unless they're repeat offenders right but i don't know i once i finish law school i'll have more probably more views on it i'll be able to do something about it then and yeah and some of the ways i think that um the way that Texas um executes the prisoners is probably the most humane way they use they do it by injection oh do they yeah instead of you know the electric chair the gas chamber that's yeah you know that would be the more humane way of doing it yeah well they you know they just go to sleep and and then eventually they die yeah instead of being you know fried or or or stuck in a gas chamber until they finally pass on yeah fighting fighting for breath right um-hum but i know a couple of states still believe in the hanging but um-hum i don't i don't go for that either well Nancy what do you think um some of the changes in roles of women are in American society in the past generation or two well of course working um-hum that's definitely got to be the biggest thing is that everybody's out there working uh-huh including me well what do you think it is um-hum um yeah i agree i also think that there are more um the people are women stay single longer it seems like yeah yes they do yeah they do yeah i know my mother and her sister were both married by the time they were twenty and i waited until i was thirty two so right uh-huh yeah you know um i know that yeah that's true it's a big change i'm an OB nurse and so i really do see what you're saying there uh-huh it used to be that our list ran nineteen twenty twenty one for our patients' ages and now our care plans look more like thirty two thirty three if we get somebody twenty one we go oh look how young so yeah you're right there's a big change and we have a lot of first time moms in their late thirties and even forties uh-huh yeah uh-huh so that's true but again i guess it probably does go back to the same thing of women having careers yeah um-hum if they didn't have if they weren't out there working and having their careers they probably would be married and having their children so i guess it's a combination yeah yeah yeah seems like there uh-huh go ahead no go on oh it just seems like there are more single mothers too i mean that's there're a lot of yeah either divorced or um you know never been married so yeah yeah yeah there's a lot of mixed up families that's for sure yeah yeah i agree well what do you think have been the most significant changes in the past generation or so well just that i think the families the the role in the family and the mother doesn't stay home and cook the dinner take care of the children um-hum um we do it all i really think that and i know that there's a lot more participation by the fathers but i still think the mothers yeah have the major role i really do i think they're just um-hum they're not doing very much less i don't think as far as the kids and and the house and everything are concerned not from what i see and and they're contributing to the income besides yeah yeah uh-huh i think that we're really really putting a lot of stress on ourselves um-hum yeah and it really it's affecting the families you know for mothers not not to be home and yet you know um oh it is i mean i i don't blame anybody when they have to work because um yeah yeah yeah it's it's difficult and i think that i live in Plano actually so um-hum it's very wealthy town and we're not part of that but i it is you know and i think what i see a lot of parents a lot of mothers working just for bigger and better um-hum and i really hate that you know i hate to see that and and i've been here for a very long time um-hum um-hum but um i don't know now i'm a single parent and i don't have a choice anymore but um-hum i used to just work occasionally for extra money but now i have to work all the time and that's really hard and and i don't know how a mother does just choose to go out to work and um-hum yeah and leave the kids in a way it's good it's very good to get out with adults and i think that's a good thing if you can do it part time but to just go out there forty hours a week at least and um-hum yeah and work and and leave your kids to get home from school alone and that kind of thing i think that's not very smart i think that's difficult on them so um-hum yeah well what do you think's gonna happen in the next generation you think it'll continue yeah well it's gonna be interesting i yeah i think it will change but i'm not sure how it's going to because i see young people today and wonder how in the world they'll ever afford to buy a home and and to raise a family i don't know how they're gonna do it um-hum um-hum and so i don't know how it can change to where the mother can get back into the home again i don't think that ever will go backwards um-hum but i don't know what effect it's gonna have on these kids now when they grow up how they're gonna feel about it um-hum it you know it could lead to another Woodstock type thing you know where where there's just too much material things and and maybe these kids will really resent that their parents are out there working for things yeah um-hum and they might wanna do without things rather than do that to their families it's hard to say yeah um-hum yeah it is i think some i don't know how many you know what percentage but some are will move back toward more traditional lifestyle of staying home with the children i guess i see that happening already uh-huh some choosing it and and they get you know there're people chide them for it you know why aren't you out okay i pressed the button so okay let me tell you i haven't been too many places you haven't been to too many places no no i haven't okay well i've been to Hawaii see now that's where i wanna go that's where i've always wanted to go i've never been there oh it's it's beautiful i know ah is it is it um i had an aunt that lived there and she she couldn't stand it anymore she moved out because she said the whole island was taken you know being taken over by the Japanese well there is there is a lot of Japanese over there and they're yeah and she and um she also told me that well not her uh necessarily other people that have been there said it's it's too commercialized um-hum ooh well yeah there's it's commercialized but there's still a lot of beautiful places to go and see is it yeah you know uh on all of the islands you know now the gisland of of Oahu naturally has got more people on it than the other islands but sure uh-huh but it's still beautiful you've got to see it at least once you know oh well i will eventually what well what is what's the most uh you know the nicest island so uh i like Maui Maui i think that's usually what people uh say they didn't they like the best yeah i mean i like it because the beach is nice and white and you know it's like um Oahu you can go over there lay on the beach and it's really nice uh-huh where the island of Hawaii you really can't lay on the beach over there you know yeah but um in Kauai it's and i mean their beaches are nice but i don't know just not nice as Maui yeah and then uh have you where have where have you been well i have been to California i've been to San Francisco i loved it i absolutely loved it oh you have oh yeah and um how long ago oh uh eighty six hm okay my sister lives out there my sister lives in Piedmont oh yeah i know where that's at because i used to live in Oakland yeah uh-huh oh well that's right near Piedmont right so yeah right right yeah well yeah that's like a suburb or something what is that oh yeah okay well she lived in Berkeley also and she yes uh-huh uh-huh um-hum let's see i went when she was uh living when well like when i went out there she was in um now i can't oh Lafayette she was living in Lafayette oh yeah right and then they moved to Piedmont um-hum so i uh i haven't seen uh you know her house in Piedmont but but i love San Francisco i'd like to go back yeah did you go in the cable cars and everything yeah isn't that fun oh yeah went to Alcatraz you know we did the whole bit and then we went to the wine country oh yeah up by Napa yeah yeah yeah oh beautiful and uh we went to Carmel you know and we took the eighteen mile drive um-hum isn't that pretty i love it down there oh it's beautiful it's really beautiful my girlfriend was down there a few months ago first time she's been down there and they wanted to take that drive and they had closed the whole road because of of fog yeah um-hum oh what the weather so then she they never got to do that um well i have also been to the Carribean oh i haven't been there either you name it i haven't been there i well i've i been there a couple of times uh-huh i went on a cruise oh that's nice the last time i went i went with my two sisters uh-huh and it was over Christmas time yeah and we really had a good time uh-huh well they um had this cruise director dress up like Santa Claus and we went to the beach and they had put a Christmas tree on the beach decorated it up and it was it was a lot of fun um-hum uh-huh well that's nice is is that cruise nicer than it if you just go on a regular you know to a hotel or you know it is now i've heard it is yeah so oh yeah yeah because you don't have to worry about unpacking or anything like that you know you put your clothes in your room and oh you'll have to go on one um-hum you don't get seasick that's what i'm afraid of no no i mean there was some people did no huh um on that last cruise that we took because they was having a storm come in but that's unusual uh-huh yeah um one of my sisters got sick but the other one didn't and i didn't uh-huh you know but um it's really nice and they just they just do so many things for you you know to make you enjoy the trip and everything right yeah so you'll have to do that once i wanna go on another one but i wanna go to Alaska oh yes now someone i know was was on a cruise to Alaska and uh um-hum um-hum was it Alaska yeah i'm pretty sure that's right my hairdresser she went last year she said she went on a cruise and i'm thinking you know cruise i'm thinking oh really sun and she's laying on the beach i said well you're not very tan for someone who's been on a cruise she says we went to Alaska yeah right you know and uh that that's uh i'd like to go well Hawaii would is my uh is my is number one i'd also like to go to Australia have you oh i i think i would like to too yeah i keep hoping to win the lotto for i can do all these things you know oh well see i i'm just into the Publisher's Clearing House and the Reader's Digest because we don't uh right now the lottery here no we just uh i guess i'm hot on this subject because we just spent three weeks camping in a recreational vehicle uh where did you go we took a tour of Florida well interestingly enough i'm calling from Miami okay well i was down there visiting the uh the orchid jungle uh-huh there in uh Homestead yeah came back with about ten plants that i hadn't planned on well yeah yeah we were down past Miami went down into the Keys well you know that's something i've never done is go down to the Keys although i i'm just here on business but uh i would love to go down there um well we found it a little bit of a disappointment uh we had expected some nice warm sunny days we got two days above seventy yeah and uh we thought the beaches would be nice but uh uh well Key West was uh just coral rubble yeah and uh we did find Bahia Honda was a fairly nice state park it had a nice beach uh-huh but the water was running about seventy five degrees so it was kind of hard to get the kids to to go in and and snorkel and and do those sort of things yeah well i've never done any motor home camping although uh uh it it is more attractive to me now than it used to be when i was a kid uh we used to go camping up in the Ozarks in Arkansas um-hum and uh we found a pretty remote campground uh uh actually whenever we first started going to it you had to drive about twenty five miles on a gravel road yeah to get back up into it and uh it had uh no electricity and uh it had a hand pump for water but it was on a lake that was just crystal clear and we would spend a week up there you know and they had a a little country store about ten miles away that you could get you know minimal provisions so you pretty much had to carry everything you needed with you yeah but uh that was it was great fun but since then i honestly have not done much what you could call camping hum well my uh my wife talks a lot about camping and uh she's taken the girls uh on off to Girl Scout camp a couple of times but my idea of camping is in a either an RV or in a thirty thirty five foot sailboat yeah well now yeah you kind of remind me of a friend of mine who who said her idea of roughing it is slow room service right but uh yeah i've got a uh i've got a friend of mine in Houston who has a forty two foot uh Tartan sailboat yeah and uh it which has for me has been the best of all worlds because he's got the expense and i get the pleasure of going out on it yeah i did that for a number of years i crewed for a fellow that uh was doing a lot of racing well that's hard work and uh and well it was fun it was quite enjoyable yeah i've i've been with it on on several uh races we've run the Pensacola yacht race for a couple of years um-hum and uh but no i love to sail and i agree i had never thought really thought about that as camping before but that is that is probably one of the best ways to go yeah what did you do did you rent a motor home when you came to Florida yeah we rented one from uh Cruise America was it what is that expensive uh it was running about eighty seven dollars a day well that's cheaper than a hotel room really that's cheaper than a hotel and you add uh oh maybe another twenty five dollars for that for a camp site uh-huh and you know the hookup and water and sewage and so forth how big was the one you rented we had a uh thirty two footer yeah was that uh any problem driving or well it's it's a big truck uh but uh yeah when you get that big a truck the uh the fuel economy goes to pot if you try to push it at sixty five and you get pretty decent fuel economy at fifty five oh really so uh i just uh had a change of mind set and i would set the uh autopilot on fifty five and just cruise down the highway well everybody else wants to speed so they wind up passing you yeah and you just stay in the right lane and there's nobody in front of you and all you have to do is guide it yeah yeah yeah so it's kind of a pleasant way to drive you uh i've found that i get there just about as fast as anybody else because there will be some cars that i'll pass two or three times during the day the same one oh sure yeah yeah that always irritates me when i pass somebody several times i've i've been in the other in the other uh uh uh had the shoe on the other foot yeah because you go down there and some hotshot will go by you that you know he's got a colorful car that you recognize and uh-huh the next thing you know you know it's lunchtime he's got to stop for lunch and you just holler at your wife to make you a sandwich yeah yeah right right right and uh well we enjoyed it uh one of of places we visited was uh Walt Disney World uh hello okay so you were with TI huh yeah i've been with i was with uh TI for uh thirty four years so obviously i found something worth worth doing there and have prejudices about uh what i want well any stay any place that long they got to be doing something right right yeah uh where do you work i uh work for myself i sell uh metal fabricating equipment and tooling and uh uh oh CAD CAM systems and things like that and uh consequently i can't really discuss big time benefits at the moment although i had worked for Univac and Pitney Bowes and some big companies once upon a time and uh i think most people don't necessarily realize the cost of them and they're somewhat probably getting out of hand oh yeah they uh i'm not sure what the category's supposed to be uh but it was what something about what benefits would you consider something like that when you uh go to work for a large company well uh i think uh oh the way i got other other than salary didn't it say yeah right well no it didn't necessarily say other than salary but what would you consider to be kind of important i guess well i'm i thought it said other than salary but yeah such as well i i imagine that's what they're referring to you know like uh your health insurance and pensions and all that kind of good stuff uh yeah yeah well i uh personally i left my previous job which was with Chance-Vought before i joined uh there and ironically i left Chance-Vought the largest employer in Dallas County at that time with some thirty thousand people as i recall and uh joined a little firm of Texas Instruments because i wanted to go with a small company and they grew up around you didn't it and uh that was twenty five hundred people when i joined and uh uh-huh then it became Dallas County's largest employer oh yeah but uh one reason i left where i was it definitely had to do with what i wanted uh besides what i was getting and it had to do with uh wanting to do research and in other words i wanted to enjoy the job and have the freedom to do the job well i think that's one of the keys that most people uh probably put above benefits that's why i work for myself basically too i want to do what i wanna do yeah well i participated on many uh surveys and that sort of thing i was a TI fellow so i was down on you know on the technical ladder side rather than the uh um-hum heavy management although i was a branch manager at one time and it's amazing that managers in general just would not believe the survey results because to them uh money is the motivation and uh benefits you know stock options uh perks that sort of thing right right and power and they they just couldn't understand why with the technical surveys that were done by the uh Institute of Electrical Engineers and uh others uh including IBM's that in the technical community salary was never first it was usually about third and yeah well i think as long as it's comparable with you know the job or can right that uh you aren't being picked on in the sense of being the whipping boy dollar wise in the corporation you you know you know you got to i right number one and number two usually were uh number one was usually uh enjoyable work or work that i enjoy something of that sort uh and number two was freedom to do that work normally and uh third or even fourth sometimes was the salary yes yes and that was in virtually every technical uh ladder survey that was taken over the well oh fifteen or so years that i participated but invariably the managers would challenge this you know because because they just couldn't believe that that people weren't motivated by money right well i i wouldn't say they aren't motivated by money but i would say that there are other things that are equal or greater important i i guess if you make enough money uh if the money were really big bucks i guess some of these other things you could uh yeah well i'm sure you know if you were being paid a slave labor scale obviously money would be high up on the list but live with for a while anyway until you had enough to do what you wanted to do but yes in a competitive uh market as it was most of the time when i was in where you could get you could get a job elsewhere anytime any day of the week you wanted to go until about the last two years and uh right in that case you felt more secure uh money wise so that you could seek uh enjoyable work or creative work that sort of thing right think of the job benefits you have well i i think uh so far they've been pretty pretty good except the medical uh not not the medical the dental insurance the dental insurance yeah i yeah i think um um do you work for TI okay hum i know i went to have a tooth pulled um-hum and uh it the cavity had gotten really bad and they they wouldn't uh cover it because they said it it was a pre existing condition hum you know how you wait you wait as long as you can yeah sometimes to to lose a tooth and then to for them to come up with something like that it i i just thought that was that was pretty bad uh-huh hm that does sound pretty bogus and then one time i had a tooth capped you know one of my caps fell fell off and uh um-hum uh-huh they paid for the the cap but they wouldn't pay for the build up hm that sounds kind of strange and i didn't understand that either who's your who's your dental care through uh well uh it's it's a part of Aetna uh-huh um ours is through uh Cigna um-hum and it's not too bad i mean i haven't i haven't been to the dentist a whole lot except for like just regular visits yeah and uh they haven't been bad they haven't uh they've been pretty good how about your uh do you have an HMO or well i had an HMO up to this year i switched you you went to like a regular plan yeah i went to regular Aetna uh i thought that the HMO was really great uh oh okay um-hum you know because did it get expensive or yeah it's gotten expensive because right now i'm i'm only i only have myself so i don't have to pay anything for Aetna the Kaiser uh premium got a little higher than it you know um-hum um-hum um-hum i have i have Kaiser right now and uh i think uh i personally i i think HMO's are scammy now just because uh it's only five dollars a visit every time i go that's not bad okay and it's five dollars prescription um-hum really um-hum right every time i go and they give you the generic stuff anyway right but uh every time i go there you got to pay three dollars for parking right you know and so if i go to make a like i i called in one time i wanted to see a doctor about my backache i someone had just hit me and uh and i you know i had some muscle stiffness i wanted to go get some uh some some medication show my back to a doctor um-hum um-hum and they wouldn't let me see a doctor they said no you know uh just just uh take some Ibuprofen and put a pillow on your back you know and i'm yeah yeah that was a problem that i had with them toward the end of the year i was i was really in a lot of pain and i went there and um-hum um-hum and uh they they gave me an appointment for about a month away um-hum and so i went to the health food store and got some teas and stuff and started drinking them i got okay but uh and i didn't go back um-hum well i was just really annoyed with them because i uh i i tried profusely to get an appointment uh to see you know and i said i if you don't give me an appointment i'm just gonna go to an emergency visit to emergency room and and send you guys the bill um-hum yeah that's what i thought about later i would've probably uh been better off if i just went to emergency and you just bill um-hum um-hum and and that's that's the only way you're going to get any action out of them you know if you threaten them with that you know because i said i just had the accident and i don't wanna wait too long um-hum yeah right before anything happens they're like well wait another day and call us back and i'm like i don't wanna wait another day i want an appointment now yeah yeah after i really thought about it some more the i i really could've done that but um um-hum i was hospitalized uh uh about three years ago i had some surgery um-hum um-hum and Kaiser was really good for that because i didn't have to pay any of it at all yeah it's it's real handy once you're you know if you like my roommate broke his arm um-hum and he went to the hospital he went in to the emergency room and they took care of his arm and he every time he went to one he only had to pay five dollars and he probably went through you know quite a bit of care uh the medicine was expensive the cast was expensive the stitches were expensive and all that um-hum um-hum and uh you know it it was real cheap i mean once you have a condition and you go to the hospital it probably works out real uh but for just like i don't know i'm i'm only twenty four years old you know i don't really get sick a lot you know i in fact uh over the last two years i've only gone to see the doctor once and that was for a physical um-hum yeah so you know for me you know i don't i don't see the doctor a whole hell of a lot you know yeah so but then again you know the year before that i when i had the regular plan you know you have a hundred dollar deductible um-hum well i went to the doctor once and it cost me ninety bucks so it was like oh well wow i guess i could've done pretty good with the five dollar visit yeah so well my uh my Kaiser premium would cost me like forty something dollars a month starting this year wow that's a lot and TI will cover uh whatever they would have covered for Aetna but the premium is still forty dollars more than that um-hum hum yeah Kaiser's expensive i mean i think it's uh this year it's like almost four thousand eight hundred dollars yeah so i went back to Aetna because i i won't hav e to pay anything yeah that works that works out pretty handy and uh although they do have a deductible that forty dollars a month will add up to that pretty quick uh-huh no yeah you know it works out okay i think if you have kids though the HMO is probably the best um-hum well Delphene do you own a P C well yes i do i have a T I P C oh in fact i have two of them i have i have one that i collected the the uh ports for one at a time oh really uh-huh like first i bought just the uh the central processing unit and the monitor uh-huh couple years later i bought a printer and then i needed a a hard drive yeah oh so uh there was this guy at TI selling a a TI PC for four hundred dollars and it had everything had the works wow and it had the hard drive and everything um-hum so i bought that one instead of buying a hard hard drive for mine so now i have that one with the hard drive and mine with no the the the other one with no hard drive with a hard drive uh-huh and what i thought i'd use them for was just to to do some work out of my house for you know people who needed uh word processing and stuff like that oh okay well that sounds interesting um-hum the my husband and i own a PC and i use mine for like keeping our home finances uh-huh and i also i i play several games on it uh-huh and i also was doing some work for my church doing some word processing on it for my church and that was really interesting being able to do that on the computer they were surprised at how much could be done um-hum with a PC yeah i thought i might uh get some extra income somehow or another uh i imagine if you advertise like in the yeah oh the i guess like The Texan's or if there's another paper up there at at your office yeah you should be able to get some work that way yeah i think i'll I'll i thought about doing that one time in fact i saw somebody else advertise in the Dallasite once uh-huh and uh thought about putting an ad in the newspaper also but then i might just get too much business yeah you really you have to be a little more selective but i right you might even want to consider cold calling a couple of places for or checking the newspaper um-hum uh there might even be cottage industries now listed in the newspaper because that's what it ends up being a cottage industry um-hum um-hum well i i found a uh book once in the library that had sources for um work at home um-hum uh you know some of them required that you have a PC but most of those wanted IBM compatibles yeah is that what yours is and as as you know the TI PC is not IBM compatible i was thinking that they had recently come out with one that is yeah they do the the um the Business Pro ah uh-huh which is that's what i have at work but uh yeah i still have the problem of upgrading mine either to a Business Pro or just going out there and buying a an I B M clone yeah um-hum there then i'll have three P C's well they're real inexpensive to get the clones now um-hum and i don't know if you watch your sale ads very often um-hum but if you do particularly Best Buy uh-huh and Circuit City and Circuit City i saw a three eighty six hundred and twenty megabyte hard drive with dual floppies and um-hum oh gosh the VGA color monitor um-hum and it also included quite a few other things i mean pieces of software and a mouse for about two thousand or less well um-hum and that's a really nice package for about that much money uh-huh i saw um in fact i believe the one i saw was a three eighty six also it only had one one drive though but it had a hard drive uh-huh you know some of them have the little uh the the small the three and a half floppy yeah plus the the bigger one those are nicer those i prefer that over the larger floppy um-hum i've never used one of those at all they take up it you can get more information on the disk you're kidding no i don't know what it is i guess because it's harder um-hum that you can get more information on it than you can on the larger ones and they're a lot easier to transport because it's harder to to damage them oh i didn't i didn't know that oh wow being in the harder plastic case um-hum so that's just a something that i've come across um-hum well i'm gonna look into getting one of those I B M clones well that's mostly um now that's what we have we don't have a real IBM i don't know of too many people who afford IBM but right but uh we've had not a minute of trouble out of ours not a minute um-hum and i would i would recommend it to other people in dollars and lives and the long term effects uh-huh well uh you ready i i'll hit it if you're ready to start okay oh i'm ready yeah sure my name's Karen by the way what what's your name Karen my name's John Benyak where do you live San Francisco oh i live in Dallas oh nice to meet you just outside of Dallas nice talking to you what's that mean we're ready to go ready to go okay well it uh the way it turned out it wasn't worth anything really i just don't think i've always thought that uh it just wasn't carried on the way it should have been it wasn't carried on like a war i mean if we were in there to fight a war regardless of the reason we were there it should have been fought like a war it just uh what would that how would that have been different if it had been fought like a war we well i think we'd uh we'd uh beat them i don't think uh i don't know what would have happened twenty years later down the road with the country within and with us but uh i think if we'd uh had allowed the military people to conduct it like a war instead of letting the politicians and the and the peace and people like that dictate the terms of the way we fought i think things would have turned out a lot differently you you think it was a winnable war then oh yes yeah i mean it was just a two bit country always was and always will be and uh or at least it is now and there's no way that if we'd uh been able to take uh use the capacity that we had the potential we had to fight a war against a country like that we would have uh what would have lost it as a war the long term effects well uh-huh uh i don't know that's that's a little tougher to answer i think uh depends i guess on who's in office but uh i think Bush used that uh last year in the Persian Gulf uh by taking some stronger stronger measures and when the war started you mean the effects of of Vietnam being to encourage him to to be more defensive in his posture and go for be more or be more offensive well once the war started once they decided i meant offensive i'm sorry uh-huh once they decided to fight the thing we take a take a much uh run in there and do it as quickly as possible rather than let the thing drag on i guess what happened back in Vietnam is that uh they we escalated and uh just you know on a gradual basis and gave the North Vietnamese and Viet Cong time to adjust to our uh increases in uh personnel and so forth they just didn't go in there if they'd a sent five hundred thousand troops in there at one time initially uh i think things would have been would have been differently but different but it they went from having the advisors uh up to that four hundred to five hundred thousand troops over a period of time a long a long number of years and as i said i think the uh uh-huh the enemy just gradually adjusted to that um and they didn't uh the people the country the people here didn't want the war the way it turned out they didn't want it i do think one of the effects was that the uh people involved in that kind of an um activity were surprised at the power that the media had on um intervening and probably uh-huh set the tone for medias involved then in future whether it was a war activity or right something along those lines that are going to involve a number of people really right well there are everything changed after that in terms of media well there were every every night you'd come home from work and uh or school or whatever and see it on the uh the news i imagine that wasn't the case during World War Two or any of the other wars uh people just didn't feel like they had the involvement in it and there were a lot of uh-huh a lot of well you remember in the Gulf War they made a specific effort not to repeat the mistakes that the media they felt the media made in uh-huh Vietnam war they weren't about to have people in there reporting right right yeah but uh i just uh i i guess i was in my let's see my twenties during during most of that war and i i never did think that they were were doing it right i'm just not a uh a fan of Jane Fonda and people like her i mean that she'd go around speaking on different campuses and uh-huh getting people uh aroused about the whole thing and of course uh they always talked about the vocal minority and i guess that's what it was the solid majority and the vocal minority um people were listening to to her and i guess politicians were too but i just felt i was in the service at that time i wasn't over there but i just felt that they fought the thing i mean they just didn't fight it like they should have and it's a war whether a war is right or wrong you i mean if you're over there and uh-huh people or young people men or women are dying they ought to fight it as a war and either win or lose based on the fact that it's a war and not just uh uh mealy mouth their their way through the thing and try to get the other side to give up on the basis of what they thought we had in terms of power and so forth that approach probably would have shortened the time that we were over there too at least oh yeah it would sure shorten the time and reduce the number of casualties and so forth we might have lost i i i just don't think we could have lost uh-huh uh-huh um Lee what advice do you have for someone choosing a college well uh as a former uh professor in a university and having been through college uh and graduate school myself i guess my own um advice would be to first try to assess the needs of the the kid um some kids do very well in large universities and other kids do very well in junior colleges and other kids do very well in residential college environments um and i think it really depends upon the individual the safest bet for most people who want uh uh a good quality experience is a private college where they're gonna get an opportunity to have more personal contact and uh where they're going to be forced by the circumstances to learn more than might be the case in a big university uh-huh did you go to a private college for your undergraduate no i went to a big university i went um i went to Pitt as an undergraduate and i looked at small colleges and frankly um i think i had this sense that it would have been more difficult at small colleges and i think it would would have been definitely i mean i i graduated Phi Beta Kappa summa cum laude and went on to do a PhD and i think that uh had i gone to a small college i might have learned a lot more but i don't think my grades would have been nearly as good uh-huh i think you can get away with more in a big uh a big university uh what what kind of experience have you had in this regard well um i went to a private university although it was a large private university it was Bringham Young University in Utah and that's uh has about twenty seven thousand students uh-huh that's big yeah so it's it's pretty big but i enjoyed my experience there one thing i was thinking about this topic is um i would try and get a lot of input from from other students who had gone to the college in the particular program and see how they liked it for example i made well i had a bad experience in graduate school and i think i would never have gone to the place had i have went and visited the place and talked to some of the students who were currently in the program for example i um started graduate school um oh yeah in well i don't know if i should give specific names but uh it was well that's all right go ahead um it was just in a physics program back east and um well it happened to be in Pittsburgh it was the University it was Carnegie Melon University and uh-huh the teaching assistantship situation just was not very good it turned out that um there were six new teaching assistants from the US who went we all quit after our first year of graduate school um no kidding it turned out that the undergraduates had thrown a big fit the several years before that they weren't learning from the foreign TAs and they had six new students from foreign TAs TAs also but the foreign TAs could not teach the classes and so there was a huge teaching burden on us the US um um-hum right TAs and so it's we were really bogged down and yeah what i think is one of the problems with with a kid going to a large university generally and this happens at Stanford at Cal out here i i think that the the residential college experience is generally the best for most kids some kids are particularly pardon me you mean community college type or you mean by residential college do you mean well i mean uh let me let me give you an example of a college that would fit that description um i would say that uh some of the best colleges in the country are small residential colleges like Swarthmore College like um Amherst Wesleyan Williams College oh i see oh um those are places that that in academia are generally regarded as the best places to get liberal arts educations on the other hand you can go to a big university and do very well and some big universities i don't know whether Bringham Young is like this but some have a small college feel to them you don't get a lot of foreign TAs you i mean in other words that the people who teach really know how to teach oh yeah and i think that's what important for a lot of kids uh in my case i went through uh between sixty eight and seventy two in college and it was just this big uh grade game for me and i learned some things and i just luckily stumbled in the right area um but i was years out of graduate school i had worked in industry before i ever came back and wanted to use my training as a scientist to um you know to get anything done and as matter of fact i'm i'm working on a book and a theory uh which has its foundations ultimately in theoretical physics and i'd never would have imagined myself wanting to do something like that i had such a negative okay Ron welcome to the net and uh what did you do about your last auto repair oh and might you say what kind of cars you have and so forth okay well Larry my last one unfortunately was a an expensive one because i had a brand new Lincoln Town Car and and um a couple of ladies ran a stop light the lights weren't working properly it wasn't their fault but we they didn't run it we both had green and she hit me and did about eleven thousand dollars worth of damage to my car so my goodness gracious that's that was a huge repair bill well that's still not enough for a total is it i know i hated that to get it's a very expensive automobile so it wasn't enough to total it but that's my that's been my most uh expensive repair probably in the last year with the except of just service work because i buy a new car every two years and oh and do you buy one every two years well i travel a lot so you know uh this last one i leased so i don't know and i leased it on a twenty four month program it's the first time i've ever done that but i'll probably go back to buying them because i don't care to lease them uh-huh did this car have one of these expanding balloons or just are there normal safety belts in it that you had no it has the expanding balloons did that help you uh it they didn't go off they didn't go off no i guess we weren't going that sort of upset me we weren't going fast enough according when i called the dealership about it and called Ford Motor about it but no sir didn't go off uh we were it was a bad rainy dark dreary day and well what and the street lights but you were hit in the side weren't you yes that may be the problem you you might you may need to be hit from something the leaning towards the forward to uh activate it yes took off my whole front fender and hood and everything i tell you just my goodness took it all off it was uh uh my my doors were okay front and back and um-hum but it did uh right eleven thousand dollars in damage it was a expensive then i get it back and two weeks after that i'm driving it in front of the local high school and some young man just wasn't paying any attention and runs in the back of me that's another twelve hundred dollars worth of damage so my goodness so i'm gonna get rid my twenty four months is up on this car i'm getting rid of this car i would think so that doesn't sound like you've got very good luck with that one my golly how about you Larry well i'm relatively fortunate about that uh here we somehow don't have many people run into us although at the beginning of each school season uh students move into town who are from big cities and they sort of drive kind of wild for about two three weeks then they finally settle down and realize that they don't have to drive that way here and uh that takes the strain out off of everyone that uh is driving a vehicle i understand and i find that the most of the repairs i have to do here is body damage due to the salt that we have to put on the road to uh take care of us in the winter time i understand uh i have a sixty nine Cougar and a seventy seven Pontiac so forth and i have to uh and i drive a Honda most of the time and i have to make sure that uh salt and so forth are kept off of it and once in a while we have to replace some of the plates in the bottom of it because it's rusted away sure well i understand that because i'm from West Virginia and we had the same thing up there continuously continuously salting the roads for snow uh-huh well i just i did i had this Cougar totally uh the body of it totally rebuilt uh to get some of the rusts that were in the fenders sure uh done and then it all repainted and then winter got here and so i put the cover over it then to keep the ice and snow off so i haven't had a chance to drive it very much but anyhow uh uh now are you gonna buy this next car or you going rent it a lease again no i'm gonna i'm gonna buy it Larry i don't like the rental i think i'm getting ready to retire myself and i'm going to i'm going to be you know driving a car for longer so i usually drive a car are you for three years and and anyway and um-hum so but last couple cars i've only driven for two years so i'd leased this one for two years so i'll probably go back and buy one and uh this next car will probably be my retirement car well that's an awfully big one that uh that one that you had the Lincoln uh isn't it too large for normal town driving finding parking places and getting in and out the doors well no sir not really not really uh uh-huh no problem at all my wife and daughter we have uh two Toyotas in the family one Nissan and we have the Lincoln and uh the not really no problem there at all as finding as far as finding parking places it's it's convenient in that in that regard ah yeah well well that certainly would be a wonderful comfortable machine to take on long trips yes it is and i'm and i travel i'm like a traveling salesman don't travel a lot any more but uh when i do take it it is very comfortable to drive i'm i'm very much aware of that um-hum yes i'm sure it is because that's the way that i enjoy this Pontiac that i have it only has thirty eight thousand miles on it but it's very quiet and very smooth riding machine yes is that right well my wife's Toyota is soon to be four years old it only has doesn't even have thirty miles thirty thousand miles on it so gosh been much in such good shape that'll probably be an eight or ten year car um-hum do you do you feel that uh tell me what's the last movie you saw the last movie i saw in a theater was Hook Hook and uh it was very enjoyable um i'm trying to think there's a lot of movies i want to see oh yeah there seems to be a lot out especially around Christmas but we were kind of busy and didn't really get out to see any of them but it but what the last one you saw uh the last one i went to the theater to see was uh The Doctors hum and i thought that was real good but i rent movies all the time yeah we do too yeah the last that seems to be the way we do it any more i saw Dying Young over the weekend is that good that's with um i'm trying to think who's in that and last week uh what's her name Julia Roberts oh okay okay and uh it was just really good i knew it was going to be sad and i knew somebody was going to be dying yeah but it was is still has an interesting plot twist to it um we want to go see JFK yeah trying to i mean i have heard lots of reviews and stuff but i still want to see it just to i have been putting off to go see that one but my wife wants to see it too and uh it just seems so much trouble any more to go to a theater yeah it is and Plano has grown so much that um you know the restaurants and stuff are all so crowded now you use to be able to get out to get a quick bit to eat and go see a movie and it's just not that way any more yeah so we usually stay in on Friday nights and rent movies and i think probably the last rented movie i saw well no i take that back it wasn't rented i think it was just on HBO at my in-laws house or something but it was Hunt for Red October oh yeah i and i love that movie yeah i went uh i went to the theater to see that one and then i rented it i think when it came out too yeah oh that would've been a good one that would've been a good one to see yeah yeah but renting them just doesn't do them justice sometimes sometimes you're right it doesn't uh but it beats watching what ever is on television yeah that's true i mean i think like uh Dances with Wolves just you know would be a good movie on television but it you know the scenery and everything was so beautiful on the screen yeah we had a pretty quiet Christmas at our house this year and one of the things that we've been putting off for a long time was to was to rent all of the Godfather movies oh really so we did that and all of them did you it was uh you know like fourteen hours of Godfather stuff oh wow in one night no it took us about three days but okay i was going to say that's a long movie yeah well it was still lots i'm telling you when that that the last hour you know uh number three we felt like we were Italians we were eating Italian snacks and drinking wine and we were thinking this has got to stop how many are there there's three three okay yeah it's almost something around fourteen hours well that's not as bad as as uh Friday the 13th or Planet of the Apes or uh but my i think my favorite though are old movies black and white yeah uh i like the old prison movies in the thirties and things like that it's just i don't know there's just something about them i think it reminds me of my childhood really not i just remember when i was little in the summer we got to stay up all night and that's what was on um-hum um-hum so somehow that reminds me again with all my brothers and sisters and you know making popcorn and making homemade pizzas in the middle of the night and stuff so we went through a stage where we rented a lot of the um Alfred Hitchcock the you know like North by Northwest and Rear Window and all those and those are really good i mean you know the old black and whites and yeah i watched uh Doris Day Retrospective on uh CBS the other night just i thing about her and different movies she'd been in and i realized how much i missed the old Doris Day Rock Hudson movies yeah oh yeah they were just always i can remember never missing one at the theater hum and because they were like fantasy and and they were an escape from the real world i think and even if i see one on now or somewhere i'll want to watch it so um-hum yeah oh they're those are some movies and they come on uh every now and then are you still there yeah i am still here yes okay it got real quiet i didn't know yeah i was just kind of there was no static or anything i thought no i am in a rest area and i was just kind of looking someone went by there i i thought i'd lost you so you are headed up to Tennessee yeah uh to Tennessee it's my mother's eighty fifth birthday where about uh Kingsport oh okay that's right yeah um i work for TI and i have traveled to Johnson City before and i you know where that is oh yeah are they still there um most of it was sold off to Simon's but there is still about five hundred employees that work that are TI yeah yeah i remember back when they first open in the early seventies there i worked at Univac and uh just down the road and boy all the everybody just oh uh what uh you have some ideas on the to help out the President here i think that one of the things they're going to have to do is go back and take some serious look at what's important and what has a return on investment uh there's an awful lot of federal programs that uh they put a million dollars in it and it probably does a couple of hundred dollars worth of good right i i think they are going to be a lot more selective on on what they throw money at and there's some things some programs that just don't seem to be working at all uh an awful lot of the social programs and welfare programs they're just seem to be self perpetuating and uh certainly in a lot of the state and local regulations that are involved just force individuals into perpetuating the same activity and gives them no incentive whatever to solve their own problems right people get get where they depend on the benefit and they don't have much interest and there is no uh uh enforcing uh ability i think to make sure that it doesn't get continued there's there's a lot of waste as a result i think of that well some of the things that happen in welfare programs that uh they are inclined not to give welfare or reduce welfare payments if there is a uh male present in the family yeah so that's resulted in uh the family dissolving the husband is thrown out of the house so that they collect the welfare yeah and uh then the children are raised under the single parent circumstance without uh the father roll around well uh i and uh they wind up doing exactly the same thing yeah i think there's uh there's a good opportunity if they'll take advantage of it with the with the the defense needs not as great as they use to be uh if and combine the savings there with with the savings in all these uh give away programs and and then waste that's in welfare and a lot of other programs i think they can start to get a handle on on the budget though what i am afraid is they will just continue wasting money the way they have and and uh throw throw potential savings into uh more programs that don't do any good i think we can also do a lot to eliminate an awful lot of paper work and superfluous regulation well there was there was was a study i don't know if you heard of it it was the Grace Commission I know that um-hum uh and it it he was uh a private uh individual and he did a study on on cutting waste out of government and he came up with i forget the figure but it was a tremendous amount of savings that could be cut out without really cutting benefits uh just the waste that went on you know yeah well i know that uh well it seems like just ten or fifteen years ago when we were writing a proposal to work on some program we would sit down with an old Freidman mechanical calculator and work out a one or two page cost proposal uh-huh and now when we write a proposal for the same magnitude of program we have a Compaq three eighty six and it runs for about three days and generates about three hundred pages of uh nonsense to for somebody to go read right yeah you wonder if all that is necessary and that's the same in government i guess it's is it all necessary you know and uh you wonder if anybody every reads it and if they do why yeah yeah it it perpetuates a lot more jobs i think is what it does and uh and i i think one of the problems we're having with uh schools uh is sort of the same factor that uh but but when i was going to school we had uh a principal assistant principal and everybody else was teaching except the janitor uh-huh and now it seems like there's uh as many administrators and administrative assistants as we have teachers yeah well and uh the number of pupils per class has gone up by about fifty or sixty percent well with the economy overall getting bad a lot of companies have had to really go into cost cutting and streamlining and that's something the government has really never tried hard to do uh they just have to learn to live within their budget i think and and not uh allow this bunch to get out of hand like they have um-hum uh there's no no need in spending all of this money on on a lot of welfare and these programs when you're going into debt to do it and i think that the government also goes overboard uh on the way they do things uh we have a a new sewage treatment facility near here that's uh one of the fine EPA approved things that does a super job of cleaning up the water and they have an administrative building associated with it that uh has go ahead Vickie well um i had planned a very successful cousins reunion i have a lot of cousins and i did that several years ago in fact it was so well received they've been really having a pi fit for me to do it again um-hum i've never actually got to plan one but i've came to several back here in Tennessee that uh were planned long distance with people you know because my immediate family is like five states um-hum um-hum and they've all turned out pretty good and this time we're here for my mother's eighty fifth birthday good oh how neat and we had a big dinner today about thirty people and uh-huh is it going to be over a several day period or was it over several uh well the birthday was today and tomorrow one of our nephew's one of my nephew's is getting married so a lot of people came from well to Florida Virginia and Texas and Tennessee here for that for both occasions um-hum um-hum um-hum well that's kind of nice to be able to do that to for both occasions my my uh family so it's been um my father's family uh he had five or six oh i let see six brothers and sisters and uh when my grandmother died we found that we were not getting together except um just when somebody died yeah it was only funerals and so it was kind of sad so about i guess it was about two or three years ago i planed this cousins reunion and how i my my cousins even though we're all fairly close there's only two or three of them that's out of town and out of state uh i we didn't keep in close contact and there were sometimes well let's see one one family had five and one family had four children and the rest of us were you know like two and three and uh so i just sent to the oldest child in each you know uh in each family uh my oldest cousin in every family to uh to send me their brother's and sister's names and addresses and their names of their spouses and i got good pretty good response from that had to do a little phone work and then i just sent out a real neat little memo to everybody and one of the cousins helped cook the meat the meat and everybody brought a dish and uh i it just worked out really really well i i'm actually one of sixteen kids so and only nine of those kids belong to my mother oh my word um-hum and they were all here in Tennessee today the first time we have all been together for a snap shot in well forever it's been in my memory yeah well i i can imagine it's hard to get that many people together the last time we had a legitimate family reunion one of the sisters couldn't make it so um-hum everybody had pictures of everybody together but her oh shoot well how often do you all do you have try to have like reunion so today we well it's kind of like your family sometimes it's just funerals and and and special occasions but the last family reunion was in eighty five and i'd like to see another one get going um-hum um-hum um-hum um-hum i was going to you know now that the subjects been brought up uh about five years ago it was actually i didn't get to attend this but i was so wanting to but several of my sisters had got together with some other people in the neighborhood we grew up in um-hum um-hum um-hum and we had a community park and of course we all rode the same buses and stuff and they had a block or like a community reunion and um-hum um-hum um-hum oh well that's that would be fun uh-huh i didn't get to attend because i was in the process of moving to Texas over that same weekend and uh but they said you know it was a blast and they sent me pictures uh-hum it was you know people we grew up with and uh people came from all over the place to get back for that one um-hum well i don't know about you but neighborhoods just aren't like that anymore and if you can you know get together with an old neighborhood like that that is really neat yeah i would love to i mean i just love to you know stories about the kids i grew up with but uh i'd like to see i'd still like to see them yeah um-hum oh sure and and to find out what happened to everybody right um-hum well at the time you know all i could do was tell them hey well Sam's moving from New Mexico to Texas and this that and so the other so um-hum well one of the fun things i did was when i sent out my invitations i mean they weren't like invitations i just did it on a on a plain sheet of typewriting paper and i took old photographs of my cousins um when they were little real little and just did kind of a collage yeah on on that you know and just just printed it on uh a real good copy machine uh you know you they weren't really good pictures but that you could tell who everybody was and it yeah um-hum and everybody got a big kick out of that because there were a lot of pictures that i had that nobody else had had hum a few years ago my wife's family and they're off in a little town in Missouri and uh um-hum they planned it for several years and actually had a book made of peoples stories and where people went and photographs that went back about two hundred years and uh and of course um-hum oh that would be fun uh was that it wasn't that wasn't a genealogy book or it was no it each each family that lived in it was it was different than that and have you lived in Garland long um yeah we're going about six years yeah about six years tell me your name again i'm sorry Carol okay um are you in a new area or old Carol um-hum um well it's about six years old we've lived here as long as the house has been built so i guess it is new in some way although we're learning it's falling apart yeah yeah oh really no that's exaggeration but we had some problems yesterday so oh no leakage or um some plumbing problems oh not so and it damaged the carpet and we're going to have to do something we're not sure call insurance or something so i'm not sure what to do well our house is about um twelve years old i guess we've been in it for about two years and uh-huh i guess there's advantages advantages and disadvantages to moving into a new or old house um one thing it had all of the window treatments you know so we didn't have to redo that and it had been updated but right uh-huh their roof is old was old so uh last year we covered the wood shingles with uh that composition uh-huh and that was cost a fortune and uh oh yeah now we're we're in the process of uh repainting the interior because we didn't paint when we first moved in and uh you know when you shop for houses you don't notice all the little things you think oh this is beautiful and everything and then you find out that it's yeah uh i wouldn't think about the painting you know that it's not as great well there's just a lot of uh i mean it has that well the family before us raised three kids and a dog and cats and and so there's just wear wear and tear on the house but you don't notice uh-huh yeah yeah until you live in it and have to clean it and you know you you find scratch marks on the wood or yeah yeah you know places were the dog chewed or i don't know things like that yeah yeah because we're kind of thinking of uh trying to find a used home and uh the ones we've looked at have been really nice um but you know there's some things you don't really think about looking at in a pre owned home that that you do in a new home so i would say uh you know that uh who is it the inspector you know that you use just um they have a list of things they go over but uh-huh you know i think we had maybe a list on top of that that some friends had of ours had told us to go through and just things that they might not normally look for and and go around with them and even if you're kind of on their you know looking over their shoulder or whatever um um-hum um-hum because there's lots of things that furniture hides and you know we have a place we have picture frame paneling in our living room and it is in beautiful condition it's uh it's a custom home but there's just areas that they skimped on and uh but the um-hum the uh picture frame paneling for the most part is beautiful and and they had this big arrangement on the mantel and it and i think one thing about the house that made us fall in love with it was their decorating you know their furniture once you move in your furniture into the house it's kind of it doesn't have quite the same look but um oh really yeah yeah because we're um you know we haven't been married we've been married for almost four years and uh-huh uh anyway but there's a piece of paneling behind that's above the mantel that has yeah um it's right above the fireplace and i think they there must have been some water running down the chimney behind there because there is some water damage and it's warped and with it being picture frame i don't know how to yeah uh-huh how to replace that one piece without having to tear it all down because it's one of the inset pieces so there's a lot of things to you know to look for and um uh-huh uh yeah yeah yeah but i guess new homes are like that to they probably have things that are constantly yeah needing fixed or at least you probably have to i don't know did did you all did the builder provide the mini blinds and stuff like that or did you all yeah you had to go purchase all that oh no no huh-uh yeah yeah from scratch everything but we're trying to look for a bigger home right now and and what size what size home are you in now right now we're in um seventeen hundred square feet so it's were looking for something a lot bigger because we have two kids uh-huh and uh but i like Garland i love Garland i really really want to stay in Garland if i can but uh you know there's there's other places too like Sachse and that and that area place area out there which is really nice i've been to some friend's house out there and there's just uh there there's some really nice homes out there i'm not really familiar with the homes in Garland i guess i know um i tried well the topic's about government um i'm not altogether sure that that's my best topic um i thought it was kind of a strange topic about corruption in the government and um how many people are self-serving yeah um-hum i mean that you i i think people tend to think that the government is not corrupt and that people aren't self-serving um-hum uh-huh um-hum i mean that's what i would like to think yeah i i i think that the last uh part of that question was particularly interesting um about um uh uh can all unethical behavior or how much unethical behavior can be made illegal um-hum uh because it it it seems to me that when uh government or public service of any kind degenerates so much that you have to have so many explicit ethical codes um parallel to the legal codes that uh we're focusing on the wrong thing maybe um-hum um-hum yeah maybe maybe that's what is happening maybe so many things have become public with the media over the past you know ten to twenty years that uh right it becomes more evident perhaps things that we didn't think of before and just concentrated on the lawmaking or the results that would be seen in public works or bills that are passed or you know etcetera like that and we um-hum we're just not exposed to the personal lives of these persons and i couldn't help thinking when that last question it was a funny question when that last part of the question came about how how many um-hum um-hum things can we um actually put a legal code on that um uh how how much um um-hum should it be our uh prerogative to see into the private lives of these people you know um yeah yeah that makes sense because you pry start prying in people's private lives you ruin their lives as well as and sometimes you know i don't even know how much of a difference it really makes you know i mean i guess in some cases sure we care about what they did in the past but uh that's right yeah um-hum sometimes i don't know it i think it gets in the way of the better judgement i mean just because he did something in his past doesn't mean he's not a good enough person to be a politician um-hum i i i agree with that and um and also that if the results that they are putting out and what they actually seem to be accomplishing by legitimate means is what's um-hum you know going to the public then um um-hum then they'll pay for their private life in their own private conscience and uh uh you know when it becomes public though it becomes scandalous that's right um-hum yeah the the that's that's the thing that um it it things that um-hum you don't know uh do do do not worm their way around then and influence other people or perhaps lead other people astray people could say oh they do it so i guess you know but as soon as things do get public um-hum yeah um-hum um there there is that terrible concern so sometimes i ask myself what are um people doing that are in the media um-hum when somebody you know comes up to office it seems that one of the first thing that's done is to dig up any kind of a thing they can on them and get it all over the headlines um-hum oh yeah it's i guess it's what sells newspapers you know it's a very low way of living um so and and and and as far as um um um-hum um-hum um-hum you know myself having any particular personal uh knowledge or insight into politics or politicians it i'm not terribly involved in it just in a very cursory way i vote and i you know try to do whatever i can on a little local area but i i it it just is not one of the things that i have uh placed um um-hum right hm and uh a lot of my particular time and effort into so i i always feel very yeah outside this kind of um this kind of an issue but um um um-hum yeah i'm kind of the same way i just kind of read the paper follow-up on people i mean just you know keep an eye on what's going on but i don't really play an active role in any kind of politics yeah um-hum um-hum yeah right yeah uh um um-hum i'm not i'm not in there i'm not one of those uh you know volunteers that's there at headquarters and whatever um although i admire the people that do that and they certainly do get inside information and um of course the better you know a person that might be affiliated with that kind of thing um-hum right um-hum the more you can trust their their judgment and their insight but the media insight as you said i just kind of read and right um-hum kind of be aware and then uh i don't like to make a whole lot of um judgment my myself unless things are so absolutely out of whack that uh yeah yeah yeah do regular exercise since i was just feeling extremely guilty about this it's a timely question um i do not exercise enough i have um i'm overweight and uh under under exercised and um can i can tell it affects me and i don't know why i can't make myself do it have you have you tried uh you know beginning something and it hasn't worked so you've stopped after a while or just try to get well i used to i used to do more things uh currently i've just gotten a they're a really nice tape Angela Lansbury has done and it's very mild it's mostly stretching but i've i've more mornings than not i will do at least ten minutes with her which is a good starter then then there's a twenty minute part afterwards that i tell myself every day when i get back i have a erratic schedule you know and when i come back in i'll do the twenty minutes uh-huh but anyway uh well that's good i mean at least you've given some time to it every day it's not as if you're not doing anything it's some some a little something yes but uh i really enjoy walking and somehow i'll do it for a while maybe a month or two months and you know walk two miles a day or something and then and then quit i uh-huh it's hard hard to schedule in what about you it is you know i think the problem for me has always been trying to find a time of day that's going to work um yes i think probably the best way to get it done is to do it in the morning but i'm not a morning person um-hum um and if i try to wait till the end of the day when i think i have a little bit more time i don't always have the energy level yeah that's hard isn't it uh that that four to six o'clock i see a lot of people out walking and i just think oh i'm just going to go and you know just sit yeah you get home and you start fixing dinner or whatever um yeah um i've tried to do a combination of stretching and and strengthening because my problem has been keeping strong i think enough i i tend if i don't i tend to have over stretched muscles in fact it's called a hypomobility oh but if i don't keep strong enough i can pull a muscle more easily say if i go on vacation oh i see uh and pick up some heavy suitcases it might stretch a muscle that would not have felt injured if i had kept the muscle strong enough to really support the joints so um yeah yeah and so do you do it that's well you know tomorrow night there's a sale at one of the shopping centers close by on barbells well uh-huh and you're thinking about getting them i'm definitely going to because i work at a hospital where there is a physical therapy department and i've used their barbells for a long while but i know i need to get more regular and do it at home so if i oh yeah yeah purchase my own i think i'm more inclined to do so and they're a good price yeah that it is and it is hard to do i mean it is easier to do at home even the walking which i can do right here the idea of getting of getting in a car to drive to a a place which a number of my friends keep suggesting just exhausts me because i drive so much in my job and i just am not going to get back in the car to drive somewhere you know and there are all these people there and you have to put on these clothes and and i uh so i'd much rather do it here now my daughter has a see i can't do that yeah and that's that's exactly the same with me a bike uh but it's a real bike and she cycles and she can put it on a thing but you have to be the right size to fit that oh so you've thought about that as well a bike exercise i've thought i've thought about doing that uh this tape is nice walking as i say is one that i really like i'm concerned about flexibility i'm i'm almost fifty and and i can you know begin to feel a little of that um-hum uh-huh uh-huh going and and i want to be able to turn around and see if the you know uh when i'm driving uh not just look in the rear view mirror but easily turn around and go up steps and all that without huffing and puffing well right feel it in your neck in other words yes yeah yeah my legs uh-huh it's interesting some people choose to go to classes because they feel that that will maintain their motivation they've either invested the money in it or there're people there that expect them or yes whatever but i think it's just the opposite with me i i need to have the flexibility to do it on my own time and yet i'm not sure well there is there is that that is a plus and i did do that i used to do it and and it and it is a plus and i almost took Tai Che that's something that's interested me for a long time and i it is beautiful um-hum oh uh it is beautiful and it seems like it it combines a lot of things so so you know sort of a a mental attitude as well as the physical but um um-hum um-hum the the the guy insisted that you would have to come everytime he and i thought well this is really good because he's you know dedicated and you have to do these things but the first three Saturdays uh i was doing trainings i mean you know it's it was on Saturday mornings and already they you know i i already couldn't do it so i was like oh okay well that's oh jobs uh-huh needs to be more flexible for your schedule yeah that's the problem and he just says has to be you know i've got a class opening at nine thirty on Saturday and you can every once in a while go to a different class but you that's when you're supposed to come um-hum um-hum and actually i hadn't been doing any Saturday trainings and then all of a sudden right when the class opened i'm you know so okay well do you have any pets yes i do uh uh in fact i'm living with three cats at the moment uh one of them is mine one of them is my daughter's and one of them is um partially mine and partially hers i guess ah uh so um i i'm and i'm an absolute nut about cats um i didn't i used to have dogs and cats um and uh the dogs have died and those original cats have died and we've taken these on and uh i i just love them i think they're wonderful what about you we have uh one dog no kids and one dog so um we uh-huh what what kind of dog we have a Golden Retriever oh we that's what we had yeah we loved them yeah oh really yeah she's a mess yeah they uh we had as i say two and then uh gave uh the kids' grandparents one and they got another one and so i mean there've been four sort of in the family around they're sweet dogs wow yeah they i mean they go through a a terror a time yeah how old um she's let's see i guess she's about eleven months oh well yes you still you're still at the puppy stage yeah so she's yeah and they say they stay puppies for a couple of years so yes you're right um but she you know we took her through obedience school back when at four four or five months uh-huh and then we had her fixed at around seven months because i couldn't handle her um-hum being in heat and all that yeah yes i was so worried the whole time that you know a dog was going to jump the fence and yeah right and we decided that we weren't going to breed her and and stuff because there we felt there were enough dogs and right and that's true all ours are fixed too and uh so um we went ahead and had her fixed while she was in heat and um yeah yeah yeah but she's she's pretty smart although she you know she gets angry and she's just like a child when she um oh if she's so into what she's doing you know she won't listen to you listen to a command listen to a command well like um oh really okay i'm trying to think of an example if we're sitting on the couch and she wants to play with you and you say no you know off uh-huh and then she'll she'll come and stick one paw up and then you take her paw and set it off well she starts doing it and she gets frustrated that you're telling her no so it turns into this this uh almost a fight you know it's like you can't tell me that you know so she starts losing her patience and then we lose our patience yeah yeah what does she do when she loses her patience um i mean does she bite or bark or um no she bites a lot but i mean it's sometimes it's it's not angry but sometimes it is oh that's unusual because they don't usually bite yeah yeah they well she's real mouthy you know and that's one thing i think with being retrievers is um uh-huh you know everything goes into their mouth and and she just wants attention but she gets angry that you're not giving her the attention right uh-huh uh-huh and then when you you know like like she goes and steals things um oh we have to keep the doors to our bedrooms closed and she'll go in and if she gets in there she'll go in and pick a teddy bear off this little rocking chair uh-huh oh really and she'll bring it in and she'll kind of show it to she'll stand there until you see her and then as soon as you see her she takes off and it's like come get me oh my goodness well ours didn't do that ours were much quieter but i had i did have a child at the time and so it may be that the child was sort of all this other stuff for them i don't know yeah yeah i think so and also having other dogs or having other animals uh yes we we we have found that with with all of our pets is that we we've never had just one because we somehow feel like they need another one i don't know if that's a human thought and not an animal thought or what but no i think it's a animal thought too because they do tend to be pack dogs you know yeah um-hum um-hum and they because she loves uh we have a neighbor down the street that has a dog and um we there's lots of dogs in our neighborhood but the one down the street she just goes crazy over i mean you'd think that that dog was Elvis or something she just goes hog wild over that dog and yeah yeah and um they have a lot of fun together but she doesn't do that with other dogs it's just that one one friend yeah yeah well and i i think they they can be territorial so you you know have to maybe some of them they're more comfortable with than others but but we did get her though because we'd heard that they were good with kids so oh they and then they are i mean my son would just you know and and you've heard the stories i'm sure but you know everything from using his little wooden hammer on her head to all sorts of things and um she would just move over you know i mean and that was that was the worst that ever happened yeah all right okay so what do you think of the Giants uh i like the Giants they got uh i probably didn't get into baseball until maybe maybe four three years ago really yeah so uh but i i i just like the Giants i don't i don't know why i really got into them i read uh Dave Dreveki's book his autobiography and oh yeah yeah wasn't that something of him yeah that that was incredible yeah that's really a really proud of him though the way he's you know the way he handled that entire situation yeah yeah really you know but i just think the Giants have a good team they they got all you know they're they're real they're real balanced out they got real good pitching and they got the hitting to go along with it so yeah i just don't understand why they're not right up there on the top you know yeah they just they need that i think they just need that one one element to push them over the top you know i don't really know what it is but but every team that's that's really good seems you know like the A's had they had they just had it all that one year so um-hum yeah um i was mostly an A's fan you know i had been to more games at the A's than i have in the Giants yeah because uh i lived in Oakland you know for some time yeah but uh i still like the Giants though you know yeah if you if you're a fan you got to stay with your team any way you know you good and the bad but yeah right yeah it's it's kind of hard i still well basically the the me and all my friends around here since we don't have anywhere i mean we can go to the Astros or the Rangers teams but since none me or none of me and my friends are really really like either one of those teams so we uh um-hum about the about the most most baseball we get is either TV or we play it on Nintendo we play RBI baseball on Nintendo so so that's just you know that's small town trying to make it through the yeah right right through the lull not being around it really but yeah yeah right well i prefer baseball uh football over baseball but uh yeah yeah so do i but baseball is still yeah it's you got you got to do something when football ain't on so so add hot dogs baseball and apple pie huh yeah exactly this this is America so yeah um so what do you think's gonna happen this year to the teams uh but uh i don't know it's hard to say i haven't really really you have to just keep up with everything in the off season it's kind of hard to do at least you know you have to read the paper and i know Sports Illustrated and everything to keep up with who they traded and who they picked up and and all that but like i say if they can if they can get that one element that they were missing i think the Giants can do it yeah well the Giants yeah they just i don't you i don't really know about the A's i don't like the A's uh matter of fact i can't stand the Oakland A's just because they have that you know they've got their Jose Canseco and and all the attitude that goes along with that you know the kind of yeah makes you sick doesn't it yeah you hear what you hear did you hear what he did he ramming his car wife's car and i i was like yeah see that's just yes he's like a little bitty kid huh yeah he's just a a a little boy with a lot of money so that's just you know but yeah yeah well i guess the Giants or might move away from San Francisco it sounds like yeah i've heard i've heard talk about that you know uh they won't be that far away but San Francisco it'll be hurting anyhow yeah they're not gonna be happy about it you know but i hope they can do good i mean that's just i think they're a good team that just need that one one little thing to push them over i don't know exactly what it is they got they're pretty balanced out all the way through it just might be the drive you know more than anything else they just they probably just need something to push them um-hum um-hum um-hum because i that's that's the only thing i can see that's holding them back is the ambition to do it or somebody basically maybe they just need everybody to tell them they can't do it maybe that's what you know that's what some teams need look at the Twins going from worst to first so i know isn't that something you couldn't believe that huh yeah my roommate's a my roommate's a Twins fan forever forever so he had his year this year so yeah i just it we we got quite preoccupied we we got into that a whole bunch that was a that was a series to remember for sure uh-huh uh-huh um-hum so i saw all seven games of that so that was definitely worth watching um-hum yeah yeah i couldn't believe that you know i don't uh there was Braves in that chanting that they have that would drive you up a wall yeah yeah they every every every team with the Indians been doing that now and it and it i can't figure out why i've yet to figure out why they're all doing that i'm like it doesn't work it's obvious it doesn't work because the you know the Braves you know God yeah well you're right the Braves didn't win so uh why why keep on doing something that didn't work but yeah yeah yeah i don't know i was i was kind of surprised that we're gonna talk about baseball and i get a woman's voice i was i was i was thinking uh-huh i talked to a guy named Vinny last night about fixing your car so oh really yeah i got i called got a call the other night about about fixing your automobile up so um-hum um-hum but well baseball baseball it's it's kind of i don't know it's kind of odd that they'd do you pick the topic or does the computer yeah right no uh they give you a list of things that you want to talk children do you have uh just the one screamer okay How old how old i is uh he or she he's eighteen months today all right yeah year and a half and uh huh yeah and he's um he's discovered pens and that you lick the backs of stamps uh-huh that's what he was screaming about i just uh well i would suppose a lot of your time is spent with yours then yes i i'm a full time mother and i spend all day uh-huh yes and i spend all day with the baby uh-huh How how do you see most of the world now uh uh the country spending time with their children i see a real growing trend for families going back into the home where a lot a lot more people if they really can can make a a tight budget they're going back to where the women take care of the children at home and not working so much to and not working and not live live in the fancy homes and drive the nice cars yeah i think uh uh i personally see that happening maybe i'm not in the right neighborhood but uh-huh i really do see it a big trend toward that and people even not waiting as late in life as they had been i know for a while that there were people waiting to have their families and i think that trend is is slowing down uh-huh uh-huh i i'd have to agree with you that's what's happening back here in the west more people are are just saying it's not worth it and uh um-hum and spending more time at at home yeah i know it's tough for our family to do that i've got three kids um-hum and uh my oldest one is only six but she's still in dance and kindergarten and you know she's got a bunch of things going on and oh yeah and uh i my it's a good thing my wife she she does work a little bit she works part time uh-huh as a college instructor she at a junior college here but she has time to go to all of her uh dance concert recitals and things and and it just means so much and i i try to be there but i don't get to go all the time ah uh-huh yeah well i agree it it's really important to me to support my family to support my children and to support the children of my brother and sister too uh-huh uh-huh that i think children without support are really they're missing out a lot yeah my you know when when i was growing up my i i played high school sports uh-huh and my dad rarely missed a football game my mom mom and dad both but mostly my dad rarely missed a football game or a basketball game even if we had to travel away from the local area uh-huh he would always go and uh i remember that and i'll never forget that you know yeah oh and it well it obviously made a really good impression on you uh-huh so and that's something that i'd sure like to do with my kids when they yeah well i agree i'm i'm even considering putting my son at two in a tumbling class uh-huh and you know going and maybe staying with him during most of the class and then going to see what he does and all that because i really i think it's important for children to be around children but i also think it's important for there to be a tight nucleus at home uh-huh so i'm trying to think of what else what was the other part of the topic um trends and uh trends we've talked about trends um you're you're talking about your family does your do you find your husband has a hard time spending time with the child yeah yes it's tough isn't it i sure have a hard time see i still at work now well oh are you yes it's uh it is sure tough for me well he he has a tendency um to leave it to me since i'm with him all day uh-huh and it's really hard for me to let go too yep i feel very attached to my son and i i'm sure it would change if i had another one but um i just don't think that i don't know i i don't see much of a change happening there i wish they would spend more time together but yeah what line of business is he in we'll uh we'll see how that goes he's um a scientist with TI hum So he's part of the study here then almost isn't he well it's um it's not the speech study but it's a different kind of study i mean he he works uh-huh in uh laser he's a laser physicist uh-huh so it's a completely different line of work uh-huh than uh than the speech program but yep anyhow well i i'm an accountant and i know it takes it's it takes a lot of lot of time away from the home um-hum and so uh i just don't i the only time i get a lot of time with my kids is when okay okay have you done this very long uh well yeah for the last uh couple of months yeah that's the same with us yeah well what kind of car would you buy well it's kind of hard to say uh because i don't think we're going to buy another car for about three years we just oh okay bought uh a car uh last year and then bought one in eighty nine and uh wait a minute we bought one in ninety we've got three cars of all things uh-huh so uh probably we'll be in at least a midsize four door sedan okay what kind do you have now uh we have a a Mazda nine twenty nine and a Ford Crown Victoria and a little two seater CRX oh okay uh it's rather difficult to to project what kind of uh we'd look always look into uh consumer reports to see what kind of uh report or uh repair records that the various cars have uh-huh and then of course we look into the prices yeah and uh for uh we're not adverse to buying along in the summer when when the cars could get to be discounted because we keep we've begun to keep them uh longer a longer period of time uh i traded off an eighty two Oldsmobile for the eighty nine Mazda oh uh-huh so uh and did you find that you like the foreign cars better than the domestic uh yeah yeah we we've had thirty some odd cars in our married life and um we we've had a good many foreign cars uh-huh and uh they they uh i've been extremely we've had three Mazdas we've been extremely pleased with our Mazdas oh really yeah we've always bought American made cars mostly Oldsmobiles yeah well we we've had uh let's see we had uh we had a uh let me think we had a fifty three and a uh we had uh two fifty threes which is a long thirty minute story uh and we had a sixty five and then we had this eighty two uh-huh so we we really can't complain about Oldsmobiles really yeah we've been real pleased with ours i think we've had one two three yeah and most we have a Cutlass we still have a Cutlass Supreme which is like a a seventy seven um-hum then we have a Cutlass Sierra and we've had a ninety eight um-hum so but i don't know we'll we're going to be in the market for a car probably in the next year and the financing is always something we consider you know the four percent or when they um-hum give good financing through the the motor company um-hum but i don't know what we're going to buy i always thought i would like to try a foreign made car but boy with all the auto workers being laid off makes me feel guilty so well uh my son over in Shreveport uh sold Porsches Audis Mada Mazdas and Volkswagons for ten years and that was one of the deciding factors in getting the Mazdas oh uh so uh the first foreign car that we had was a a seventy seven MG MGB oh the was British green racing green with real wire wheels and a hard top and a soft top ooh boy and uh i drove it mostly and i bet it was hard to part with that yeah it really was my husband was in the Air Force and we got transferred to Okinawa oh so uh we had to sell it which which really really tore me up oh yes because uh it was it was great fun and then uh when we got to Okinawa bought well we bought a second hand we uh we decided that uh we had that sixty uh sixty five Oldsmobile and it and it was just too big so we we sold it to a fellow who was coming back to the States and we got a little Fiat uh and a and the little uh forty horse power Mazda four door sedan oh ever had a family reunion yes we have several um do you do extended families or we do extended families have you do you have you participated in a family reunion yeah yes um in the last couple of years i've the last one we had was in September and um i helped plan it so and it was here in Dallas so um um i i know that when we've had ours they set a date and they have them every um year and it's mostly on my mom's side of the family that does it but um but um uh-huh yeah they send out invitations and it's the very same weekend of every year and it's in July and they always bring um family history information and they have the Saturday is all tied um involved in people getting together um going over there's all these tables set up and they've got all this family history that you can get uh-huh information on different people and their childhood and pictures and put together your own history of your family and your ancestors and that's really fun and then on Sunday they um um-hum they have a big dinner and everyone's supposed to bring something and it's more of just a time to just chat and get you know reacquainted with your cousins and yeah and things like that that's the very big extended one that's over two hundred people that go to that oh wow yeah that we've done um so we went to one that was my husband's grandfather and his brothers and sisters and then their families so we that was kind of nice i don't know that they had done one um in a long long time and so it was real nice to get to to know other people than his just aunts and uncles right and so that was really fun and um we did that in Florida but there were still only maybe oh seventy or eighty people there but they did they did a lot of um we had we had several get togethers like Saturday was or Friday night we started with dinner Saturday we had lunch together and took like family pictures and went over family history and then um that night we had some free time in there and then that night was um oh it was more it was a it was a nice dinner and then they had you went around the room and said who you were and maybe something about yourself and you know how you related in the family and stuff and that was kind of nice because we'd been talking to these people all day long and then it was okay now where do you fit in in the in the line and stuff and who's who's are you kind of thing right but um i know on more of a smaller scale my husband's mother and father have boughten a condominium that's in a ski resort in Utah um-hum um and um they have it a certain week each year that's set aside for the whole family to come home yeah in July and um everybody tries to go there and stay it's two or three big condominiums that all hook together and so everybody tries to go up and stay and yeah um all be together on his in his immediate family but there were seven children and by the time you get their spouses and their children all there yeah there're six in my family and i don't i don't think of them as family reunions so much but either either Thanksgiving or Christmas where for sure everyone is there and and uh so that's you know by the time you get the kids and all that there's there's a good number of us there and um right but we usually just eat and and play games and you know chitchat but um we had a my grandmother's side of of the family we had a get together last year and that was really fun because uh uh as cousins we stay real close together and um so but we did things like um went to the tea we went and had tea at the um oh one of the hotels downtown in downtown Dallas and then uh-huh Friday night if if you wanted to go you could go to the Mesquite Rodeo and then Saturday it was we had a big family picnic and we had T-shirts that you know said family reunion and had gave the year and um wore those to the picnic and we had some stuff for the kids and there was a it was there was a wading pool there that if the kids wanted to go swimming they could do that and if the guys wanted to go golf they could do that and stuff and then Saturday night was our big big dinner and and we had it catered and it for most of the part it was catered and it was really nice to be able to send we sent out stuff this is this is what's available to do and it it you know the big family dinner is going to be Saturday night you need to make a reservation and pay us ahead of time because the year before we had done it and uh had had problems getting the money yeah you know the the yeah i mean it's like pass the hat around and it didn't i don't think they broke even at all and uh which is i mean i can't imagine feeding two hundred like right okay um i guess we're going to talk describe uh job benefits and so what do you think next to salary do you rank is the most important job benefits uh i would say the medical uh group insurance uh area as far as uh uh-huh covering medical costs for yourself or family members um-hum well um does your company have good benefits in that in that regard yeah i think i work for a a public school system district and uh so it's different than a company where uh-huh most companies fund almost the entire thing where the school district does um the employee must pick up a greater figure in the way of uh costs but overall um i've been pleased with it over the years i think the biggest frustration oh yeah um-hum is because of the cost of insurance going up every year our district has had to alter uh you know change companies or now we're on a managed care thing which has stressed a lot of people out although hm it has not disturbed me any how about yourself i see uh well i'm my medical coverage is with an HMO um so uh-huh that's in my opinion that's getting that's bordering on a health clinic but it seems to be a good way to maintain costs and still provide a good amount of coverage um right yeah our district did that for the ninety one and the ninety school year or calendar years and i was in the HMO and um i i was because my my same doctor you know agreed to be in it for uh they usually sign a contract or something and um um-hum uh i did have surgery last summer and i paid ten dollars when i went to see him that first day and i've never seen another bill so i i have to say it really works but again right i was fortunate because my doctor agreed to be in it uh if you've been going to a doctor for you know ten years or something and he elects not to join it can be very stressful for you know those people yes that's right yeah i'm i'm fairly young myself i've only been when i first started working which three years ago is when i first got into full time employment uh-huh and uh at that time i immediately joined the HMO and i never really so the only doctor i i've kind of consistently had has been through the HMO and uh you know for me it's worked out real good yeah right but if you you know have a family and and um everybody's gone to different doctors uh it is hard to give up somebody who you feel knows you and your body and your just has you know all the medical history and you feel comfortable with it i i'm sure it would be very stressful and um-hum my husband and i have just elected that if that happens i will go and just pay you can continue to go to your own doctor but your benefits are not as hm you know good so um-hum yeah um like you you mentioned you work for a school system i work for uh Georgia Tech in the research branch and i guess uh oh all right another one that that that i rank up there high is the uh kind of job flexibility and time off um i enjoy as a as a benefit i do too are you talking about like spring break and right right yeah getting a lot of a lot of breaks between quarters and that and having a lot of vacation right it it really um i don't think most of our teachers now i'm not a teacher i am the a secretarial executive assistant but i don't think the teachers could stand the stress all all year long frankly it is just um-hum Texas has really um you know they want everybody educated no matter what it's costs uh and it it would be just we all look forward to like in two weeks we have spring break and i don't know who looks forward to it more the students or the or the teachers and the staff what do you do there um-hum right well um i'm not actually on the teaching faculty but we have a large research organization associated with the university and that's who i work with okay i like um and we're given you know a good bit of flexibility in what we do we can kind of pursue our own interests in terms of the research areas that we study well that's good yeah i would think that that type of employment you're you're one day you might be really tuned in and the next day oh a little lukewarm or something and and um right you know it's good that they allow you that right it um as i say the schools now we do have to work you know the day but we do get many days off and um we all look forward to it that's only reason i work there is that my children now have graduated and graduated from college but at the time um-hum oh yeah i worked there because my hours and days were the same as theirs and uh i've just um-hum continued to uh stay there okay are there so are there any things that that you'd like to see changed in terms of the the benefits well Nancy what kind of a personal computer do you have uh we still have an old uh Texas Instruments Professional Computer back in the days when TI was making uh computers that were similar to in terms of power to the IBM i don't remember what those were the ATs or something like that or something like that yeah i have one of those too way back when i don't know where to get any new software for it unfortunately so we just sort of stumble on using the same stuff that we always have yeah do you use computers at work or um well i used to i have a Master's degree in computer science but i haven't i i took a time out on careers about uh-huh so do i six years ago when my first one turned a year old and i see so nowadays i'm teaching him at home and we're using the computer to drill him on math and to let him do some creative writing without having to have uh uh the mechanics of handwriting get in the way of his words this way he can he this way he just has to hunt and peck on the keyboard i have to admit i'd like a yeah a more logical arrangement of the letters and uh what do they call it the Cortiope or something something like that arrangement oh do you use your computer for other things balancing checkbooks do you keep budgets and that sort of thing in it or um we haven't for we ended up uh actually just sort of keeping it in the closet for a number of years isn't that a terrible statement people who are we're pretty involved with computers in all sorts of other aspects but um i guess i wanted something that was easier to use than this and that was more intuitive and so we just it just ended up not not getting used i should use it to balance my checkbook but then you have to remember to write it down that's right that's right well mine mine kind of died so it's being worked on right now or enter it oh my where do you find a place to work on a TI i found a technician who works at TI uh-huh and does things like that in his spare time well that's nice to know that there are still such people around oh yeah yeah but i most of the stuff i've used that computer for were work related just bringing work home yeah well i used to do that i'd used it um until as i say until i took a hiatus hiatus from working i used to to uh trying to think of what you call it i i used it essentially as a terminal then yeah you know and yeah i've done a lot of that so and i suspect most people do uh use them as terminals or have a spreadsheet and a word processor and that's about it yeah what else do you need right well my kids think i should have games well that's probably true on top of games on top of games and of course we don't have any i keep telling them well you know just learn how to program yeah write your own games right write your own games yeah i just the computer i work have at work came with uh Windows software and it has a couple of games on it one of which is a solitaire just oh just standard card solitaire yeah but the graphics are so incredible and you can choose what you want the deck of cards to look like you know you can have flowers on the back of them or fishes or oh yes or a robot who has a little gauge that moves in his tummy and oh really uh i just i just happened to stumble across that of course i don't play games at work right no who would do something like that but uh yeah we have basically we use the WordStar on it uh-huh you know for a bunch of i'm taking a class now and um i'm actually getting a degree in nursing at this point and i asked the and the class i'm taking now all of a sudden they want everything typed till now everything's been handwritten so it was a good thing that the computer was back up and running hooked the printer up to it that's right i was going to say you must have a printer then right right well i couldn't figure out how to it's been a while since i've gotten it going all right so i tried to hook the printer up and i was sure i put all the uh-huh connectors in right and everything and had checked to make sure the pins were all facing the right way and i couldn't get the computer to recognize that there was a printer there to save my life and so i was like oh this thing doesn't work and we've lost the you know we've lost the install software documentation what am i supposed to do so my husband took it in to work i haven't had to put anyone in a nursing home but we came close have you had that experience yet no i haven't either but a lot of my friends and actually my boss had to put his mother in a nursing home and i know just going through it with him i mean it's a real traumatic experience um-hum that's for sure yeah first just even deciding to do it and then i think feeling guilty after you know that it needs to be done you know um-hum um-hum uh yeah i had a a good friend who just did it and and my boss too oh really yeah and uh and uh well both his parents were sick not doing well went to take care of one and then one of them died and then it was um-hum what do you do with the other person it's particularly hard if they live away okay that's what i was just going to say if they're out of state you know it's different if they're in the same town i think you have a little more chance to look out for them but um-hum yeah then too if you work you know you get there has to be somebody there well that's a problem and i uh my grandmother was ninety two ninety three when she died and she was able to stay in her apartment but the but the cost of that was unbelievable to have the nurses now i don't know that it would have been any better in a nursing home but at that point um-hum it was you know uh she was old enough that it was like that's where she she wanted to die was where she was not to uh-huh oh oh you mean not staying at home you mean and not yeah yeah staying at home yeah not going somewhere else i think it's harder if they if they're younger but need a lot of care um-hum you know at ninety that's one thing at at sixty or seventy it's something else and yet no yeah well that's just it because i mean jeez they've got probably probably good twenty years to live you know some some cases if they're healthy you know right right right exactly and if the and and yet if the care is just is just so hard then that's you know that's really hard and i don't know what you know what the different things that you would look for i mean obviously uh you want it to be clean you know it would be clean yeah clean and that that it's got a good reputation as far as health et cetera but then atmosphere seems like would make so much difference i know and to make sure that there's enough people there to keep everybody like that can you know to be involved instead of just leaving them sit in their rooms you know yes that that's the picture you always see of people just sitting in the halls um-hum yeah oh in fact i used to date a guy that reminds me when i was back in Minneapolis but his mother i mean he had she ended up i guess getting it Alzheimer's what they now call Alzheimer's yeah Alzheimer yeah but to begin with you know when they first i mean she would know us you know and we'd go to visit her but then it would get you know like she didn't really know she didn't know me and then she thought he was a brother you know and it just got steadily worse you know uh-huh yeah well i that's the thing i mean when it's something like that i i think it particularly if it's something like that and they really don't know where they are um-hum it doesn't feel i would think that would be easier than someone who really does know and is saying i don't and has been independent all their lives and then all of a sudden you know exactly and i you know i don't i don't want to go kind of thing but the other side of it is that my grandmother moved out of her home and into an apartment of elderly people but it is was not a nursing home and that's where she died but she lived there for ten or twelve years um um-hum um and she did she really went through uh like a depression for about a year moving out of her home but then she said just getting used to it oh well she says course this is so wonderful because all i have to do is open my door you know go out the hall and down stairs to the place to eat or down stairs to the lobby and there're people there uh-huh oh uh-huh which in her home you know there weren't i mean the logistics of it become so difficult that she said i've i've really made some friends and that feels good so that's the other side of it is well that yeah would definitely be a positive part because they'd be around more people and would be easier for them to get out and to see those people i guess um-hum um-hum yeah but but it's just that you know how do you i guess unless you visit a lot and unexpectedly and assuming that you can visit unexpectedly well i would think that you ought to be in fact i was going to say that i would go at different times of the day not only when they're expecting you to come uh-huh you know just to see how you know at different times of the day what they do and how they treat them you know exactly and how everything looks and and then and then the other thing is really listen to what they say because and that's another hard thing uh you know if the as people get older we we all seem to uh fuss just a little bit more about everything so then the question is is the fussing legitimate or not um-hum or is it just because yeah they're having such a hard time adjusting you know uh-huh so they'll tell you well she says she doesn't like the food but you should see her plate you know or some um-hum so then you i guess you'd have to be there to be sure that that's topic is recycling today and actually i'm pretty hot about the topic right now yes i am oh you are you're you're into uh recycling i'm into recycling i've got several friends who use me as their recycling drop off matter of fact um-hum what materials do you recycle i recycle glass plastic and aluminum also paper and plastic bags um-hum and i uh in Dallas we recently had a report on the news in the evening about what's being done with the recycled the recycling materials um-hum and green glass and several other items but green glass in particular is being tossed into the landfills and i got really hot about that because my husband my husband drinks a lot of ginger ale and it's packed in green glass so so you're trying to take action to have that changed well yeah i'm i'm racking my brain thinking okay where can i what can i do to take action on this the only recycling plant i think in the south is in Atlanta um-hum and they're paying i think eighteen cents for every hundred pounds of green glass right so economically it's not a situation where you're going be able to attract a lot of attention no i'm not but i've got right good gosh i've got probably twenty or thirty pounds of it in my yard right now um-hum waiting for a recycling place to take it to and i would really be disturbed if i found out that the place i took it to was going to just put it in the landfill i mean i could have done that well i think um that is kind of becoming one of the drivers now the fact that with all the recycling that took place the price per pound has declined i know aluminum in our area one year ago aluminum was yeah forty five cents a pound and now it's twenty last time i went it was twenty two cents a pound um-hum so it uh there's not a lot of money to be made but it's just a question of trying to help the environment no well that's the that's the thing is i uh i would rather help my environment and uh when i turn in glass and aluminum i turn it in to my church which has a community center um-hum and the community center uses the money to help with an after school program to help keep kids off the streets and to to give them a fighting chance in the world in regards to education and i think that's a real worthwhile project and right that's really what got me started recycling was this uh community center hm yeah where where i work we recycle paper that's about it so do you which kind of paper computer paper yeah any any um noncolored noncolored or nonfilm type paper just white paper and that sort of thing oh any uh-huh oh uh-huh but do they recycle computer paper and i mean like the the green and white barred uh oh we don't use that kind of paper any more no we have perforated oh you don't use that paper okay for personal printers and then like LaserJet type paper oh yeah uh-huh we don't use the green bar type paper any more the old the old green bars um-hum right yeah because our our church also recycles computer paper and i don't know why i was thinking it was just the old green bar style as opposed to um-hum even the personal uh letter sized well i would guess that your church is probably at a point where they're not really breaking even on their recycling i mean uh well unless they get volunteers who have people who have trucks and that sort of thing yeah we have volunteers and there's not that it's not that wide of a participation participation just yet um-hum so although with my friends helping we we contribute quite a bit of glass we all have children and quite a few of the children are in baby food um-hum and those baby food jars believe it or not really add up fast right well there are neighborhoods in the Atlanta area where uh you have specific trash bins to put recyclables in and then they're collected on a regular basis so oh yeah curbside recycling right yeah they have that in Houston and in Dallas and i saw another report where in Houston they take the bins and they load them up into the truck in the separate areas in the truck right and the truck goes and dumps all of it into one landfill that got me heated up too that got me real heated up a friend of my mother's told her about that and she was telling me about it and then i saw a report on TV too and i thought why are we going through this trouble and i had a report tell me why we are we go through the trouble because everybody's worried about the environment and now that we have uh the the smaller the lay people worried about the environment now we have to get the businesses worried about using the recycled product that not that many businesses are right okay i guess we're on uh capital punishment uh my my feeling by the way is that i think there is a need for capital punishment i don't think it ought to be applied to every crime obviously but there is a need how do you feel about it oh i believe there is you know there is a need for it like you said it shouldn't be applied to every every crime you know uh-huh uh uh i feel like you know they need to instead of giving the people on on uh you know like death row and stuff just leaving them there and sit there and make taxpayer pay for it i think they ought to do something about it yeah i think it does does get uh strung out too long that they uh they keep people there ten twelve years uh uh that seems to be the norm yeah um i i don't know how effective a deterrent it is when when that happens uh but more and more people are being executed for crimes i think down in Texas uh just today or yesterday didn't you have one an execution down there yeah we had uh one just yeah couple days ago yeah well they haven't executed anybody in uh in our state of New Hampshire since i think nineteen forty four or somewhere around that time frame it's it's been a long time yeah we do have the death penalty but uh they don't use it very much instead they sentence them to life and uh we end up as you say uh fitting the footing the bill the next forty or fifty years yeah that's what i think that they need to do something to change that because i don't think the taxpayers should have to pay for that guy to stay in the stay in there for life you know i think one interesting question would be uh uh you know as far as circumstances uh i think we agree if somebody you know is involved with a premeditated murder or you know a cold blooded first degree murder they deserve the death penalty that's in my opinion i don't know how do you feel about that if they take another human life you know and they've they've planned to do this or they're doing it for pay don't you think that deserves the the death penalty it sure does now how about drug dealers where they don't directly take a life you know it's not like they're pulling the the the trigger on a gun or or something like that what do you think about uh major drug dealers getting the death penalty well that not they're partly you know they're a lot responsible for it because they're the ones selling the drugs to the to the uh dealers out on the street you know and i think they they need to get capital the capital punishment i think capital punishment in those instances is probably even more effective than for uh the just the common street criminal that kills somebody yeah that person probably isn't thinking too much about it but these major drug dealers uh you know they got some brains they wouldn't be in the business if they didn't have and if they're threatened with the death penalty i think it might make a difference on them oh yeah i think it would too you know sometimes i think they ought to just take them out and shoot them and just you know but uh that's my opinion on some of the cases uh-huh because i think drugs is a bad deal and stuff that's right it certainly ruins a lot of lives uh whereas a you know somebody that uh is holding up a bank and shoots somebody effects a fairly small circle of people i mean the relatives and friends of the person that was killed yeah but but a drug dealer a major drug dealer is effecting what thousands of lives oh yeah and in effect causing some of them to die um-hum and you know it's especially i just saw something on TV tonight on the news about LSD in a school over in Dallas so oh is that right yep so it's effecting it's way down there in the high schools and stuff and uh-huh i think drug dealers need to be sent to prison for life imprisonment and stuff you know or given the death penalty yeah and and uh-huh that LSD even gets into the grade schools when they sell these uh stickers they look like uh i guess they're dots on a piece of paper or something yeah and uh you know that's really that's really a crime to give it to the young kids like that well i guess we've talked about all we can on this topic what do you think uh yeah okay well it's been nice talking with you hope you have a nice day good evening talk to you later bye-bye okay you too all right bye okay Toby this is Brian White and our topic i guess tonight is on capital punishment and how we feel about that um if you don't mind uh how do you feel about capital punishment well my position in general is that i'm supportive of it but i'm not supportive of the way that it's currently administered okay um it takes so long with uh the appeals process uh that it's uh uh simply impossible to say that it's that it's consistent administration of justice uh uh-huh if if the penalty could be executed swiftly and surely upon people who deserved it when there was uh evidence uh beyond a a reasonable doubt that they had committed a a crime worthy of it then i think it should be done uh-huh and that way it can be a deterrent a deterrent that's right but as it stands now it's not a deterrent we just had a fellow here in our county who has he's been on death row for seventeen years and just had his sentence overturned for the third time uh on a technicality uh-huh everybody knows he did it yeah this last technicality was simply because the language of the decision handed down by the jury uh explaining uh saying that he should get the death penalty was not precisely as it is stated in the statute that it should be uh-huh oh great and that was it i mean it was a a very simple i mean they fully intended to give him the death penalty uh they had a unanimous decision but when they drafted the uh decision the response yeah uh they did it wrong and it was just a very minor very minor uh mistake but it was enough for uh the state supreme court to say that the uh that the decision was invalid and that they had to empanel a new jury to consider the death penalty again uh that kind of thing uh and and and the way that people search and search for those kind of things just uh just disgusts me yes and with uh with with it being that way it ends up costing us so much money so much more to have the death penalty than to not have it that uh i'm almost inclined to say do away with it uh-huh the the problem that i see is uh what do we have instead uh-huh here in Georgia uh we don't have a a sentence of life in prison without the possibility of parole yes if someone gets life in prison they are generally released in seven years if they behave well right and we have had people get out in seven years and commit uh another murder uh that just shouldn't be so but i say uh i could tolerate getting rid of the death penalty if we could have life without the possibility of parole yes right right i tend to agree with you uh i'm kind of uh torn between two items however i i definitely believe believe in due process that if a person is found guilty so that we're not ramrodding a a guilty verdict on them that it's uh up for review in uh the appeal process however i tend to agree with you that well i don't tend to agree with i definitely agree with you that there are people that are going to make sure that every T is crossed every I is dotted and to make sure that everything is just right otherwise you know someone gets off on a technicality now yeah not only in the courts is that costing us money and millions and millions of dollars and wasting our taxpayers and uh clogging up the courts but also when the uh the detectives the homicide detectives and so forth when they're researching when they are gathering the evidence they're they're bending over backwards uh in typically what i believe is an open and shut case where the guy is guilty there are seven eyewitnesses they saw it happen they have testified what happened um there's video tape of it they yeah exactly exactly and the guy is as sound mind and and so forth he's he's not an idiot uh he wasn't acting i i don't know you know in that case yeah we're we're spending money in the in the judicial system we're spending money in the law enforcement area trying to verify all this kind of information and the and the individual's guilty i believe that if we have cash capital punishment that it should be executed swiftly that it should uh be taken care of not after seven levels of appeal but after a couple levels appeal of appeal uh under certain certain circumstances um-hum those circumstances would be well just just as i answered the phone there was there was a voice that came on the line and said you were suppose to you talk about capital punishment how does the law what how do the laws in the different states compare and to be restricted to certain crimes or certain circumstances or something like that yeah uh-huh i honestly don't know what Illinois' position on capital punishment is do you know for Texas well i know we're kind of beefing it up now uh the past year or so the people that are on death row and have been for years and years and years they're beginning to go on and executed them now We have the uh lethal injections lethal injection uh-huh and uh it's going to take at least all ready this year three have been put to death and i think at this point i am for that as long as you know they've had all the chances they need to have on appeals and this i don't see why they should have to and why we should have to support them for twenty or thirty years on death row that once they have been sentenced by a jury of their peers found guilty and then gone through the appeal bit then why continue yeah i i i strongly i strongly agree i think uh well in general i think we have we have a fairly lax legal system as far as protecting the criminal that's right and uh and i can see the the necessity of it but uh i don't know if someone's guilty and there's there's no question if if if there's is no question about it a lot of times you sentence someone to prison and there and there the jury finds them guilt then not in everyone's mind it's not actually settled right i can agree with that That it's so i can i can see letting uh letting for example the judge make the call or or maybe an appeals court make the call and on this it was this not just beyond a reasonable doubt but beyond any doubt right and so under circumstances where it's you know where there is no question about it the person actually did kill somebody and in particularly particularly in some of the more brutal cases or prevalent where they've killed several people yes yeah i i totally agree i i think it's kind of appalling that some one can commit murder and they know that they probably won't die for it yes Well i know of uh at least two this year that have been put to death have uh i mean they have already they had admitted to it They i mean there was no question and yes they had been going on fifteen to twenty years there on death row is that right and oh wow uh i think probably Texas is the most lax state there is on this That it just oh wow We do everything else fast baby that's that's probably why this was picked as one of the topics because Texas Instruments is in Texas and so right it's in the news it's not really in the news much up here i guess it was the Dahlmer case uh-huh that that was in the news everywhere uh-huh now where was that at uh i think that was in Houston so that was in Texas too yes uh-huh that's what i thought i believe so and uh i know we're going through a case right now that uh where parent's starved a child to death and uh i've heard you know people wondering whether you know should these people get the death penalty or not uh i i guess i would feel strongly about that when it involves a child especially they they tied this child uh-huh the police found the child tied and starved and uh there's no doubt a case like that there's no doubt in my mind that these people ought to get the death penalty that uh they did it they did it knowingly i guess that would be that would be the issue and they just tie the child and and were they were they punishing the kid and they don't realize that he was going to die or oh they did yes uh-huh oh they the were just punishing They didn't think far enough ahead i don't guess that you know that he would actually die or that they would get caught They had two of them well see that's i think i would think that differently they had two of them uh-huh two children two children two children One did not die one didn't huh yeah in that case he i think he could argue that i don't know if the parents were really intending to kill the kids well could be that would that would seem that would seem like that would that would i would have a harder time saying the death penalty was in order for that well i don't think i would but uh well no i i certainly think punishment is in order but the death penalty because that's i am not sure that is homicide because they didn't i i it it certainly wasn't intentional homicide uh-huh Well you may have a point there i it's just that i guess they have gotten so much publicity here but and i have read so much about it and yeah that's just that is that is a tough one but other than that uh you know i just so what do you think about uh employers screening you know job candidates for drug drug usage well i can kind of see it both ways because um you don't want to get i guess i generally feel against it but i can see why an employer wouldn't want to have employees that are on drugs right that could cause all kind of problems i'd would like to see it see them be able to not need to screen more than i would like to see them screening right you think it infringes on personal rights to have that type of screening right i think that we ought to be employer certainly has the right to say on the application are you on drugs or something like that and then if they say well i'm on drugs then they say well we would like rather have somebody that isn't on drugs but a lot of times people who are on drugs don't admit it that's right especially when they're trying to get a job and i guess everybody knows that if they're trying to get a job that if they put down that they're on drugs they're not gonna get it right yeah i don't really have that much a problem with drug screening i think um if it's gonna effect their job performance uh i think it's reasonable for an employer to request a drug test but uh right i guess depends on the job some jobs that depend on which public safety depends like um pilots and air traffic controllers people who drive the trains um things like that but i don't think SEPTA actually does um routine screening for their workers and that might not be a bad idea i've see a couple that look like they might be on drugs right yeah it always should be mandatory for some uh positions such as those but um right but other well i don't know every job right i guess i don't know i'd would obviously an employer doesn't wanna have a person on drugs but if somebody's on drugs and they get into the work place it might be uh a better thing for them than to have them out there on the street mugging people that's true that's true you there has to be that's the that's the key i think is is what happens when you find a person who is on drugs you got to just that's when you have to be careful you know you just can't that's right fire every person something needs to be done to help these kind of these people that's right if they now behind the drug testing was something like that so that it wasn't that a person just didn't get a job that right they can go and if they ever tested uh positive on drugs then they'd if that were the case then they'd be always unemployed right there should be some sort of program they can go into to try to clean themselves up and be given a second chance so well some perhaps a program but i know people go into programs there with other people that have a lot of the same problems and that's in some ways good it lets them feel like they have support um-hum but on the other side hand it's they need to be around people that have their lives together and aren't on drugs they need to be you know people wouldn't be getting into trouble as much if they true especially young people here in Philadelphia right if they had if they were so busy during the day that when they went um when they went home at night they were tired and they had to go to sleep right so but if people are not working and they're just running around loose with nothing to do they got a lot of energy and it gets them into trouble right yeah that's true yeah i don't know i'm thinking if from my perspective let's say you owned a business um you would want to have the opportunity to screen any uh candidate for a job within your own company um-hum and if you put yourself in that situation you don't want to hire someone who's on cocaine right are you in business no but i i could it's something i may do eventually so um from that perspective i can i'd see the need for drug testing uh-huh right more more or less for large businesses than small businesses i think mostly go on personal contacts and who knows who and what people they know would say about them um-hum so with thinking about my daddy and working down on the farm in South Carolina and hiring people and you know even at fast food restaurants and um field work it's the person doing the hiring and the supervisor going and talking to people and finding out who know what about who right i guess it's kind of the old boy network maybe that isn't as much so in the larger cities like Philadelphia well uh right yeah you can't really do that you could be hiring someone for uh uh a managerial white collar position in your company and uh the person can appear very right well qualified and and perfectly normal but uh they may be having a lot more problems um-hum yeah they can okay well uh i guess since i called i'll start out with my feelings about it uh i think that it's absolutely essential that some some at least some employees of government agencies and companies be tested especially when it effects public safety i mean the military obviously uh people that run trains and airplanes and and the like um-hum uh for others i don't know i don't feel as strong about it uh i don't really don't have any objection to it but i can't really say i'm for it either what's your feeling well uh it it it it becomes sort of a a topic where i sit there and and i have a knee jerk reaction and then i have a a reaction after i think about it a little longer uh for me i i guess i feel like uh we have we we that we when we give in on these things we tend to move towards a a uh society where uh everything is a is uh regulated uh i think you're right about uh certain jobs and uh certainly something like uh a bus train pilots uh it's obviously something that's a necessity it because it because the function of the job is is within all everyone pretty much everyone in the world uh would admit to the fact that that these drugs might impair their abilities uh-huh okay yeah and like so i guess in some ways i'm agreeing with you uh that those would be something that should continue to have uh drug testing of course it is certainly not acceptable for an Eastern pilot to uh have just had eight martinis before he went off to fly right or Northwest i think Northwest has had a lot of problems with that right i uh i've been in uh two two situations where i've had to under go grug testing drug testing i was in the military for a number of years um-hum and then i worked for four years uh as a as a an electrical inspector uh in a nuclear plant that was under construction and in both cases uh you know we were subject to uh to random testing for drugs and i know a lot of people refused to a lot especially at the nuclear plant or would uh you know strongly object to it but uh you know i could see the need for it so i i went along with it i i think if i were a clerical worker for instance though uh and really couldn't have effected anybody else i'm not sure that i'd i think it might be inappropriate for us to say for me to say that in any in any industry uh something where where see you're talking about a plant where okay if you're a nuclear inspector um-hum or where you're a uh person who works on safety features for nuclear inspection well that makes sense um-hum uh-huh but uh we're talking about you you know you're saying well uh and i think you uh that you just stated the same thing that if you were a clerical you you you know a clerical person there or you were a secretary there now where's the justification uh-huh right what what what okay you know let's say that we can you you you you had had a uh uh you went to a party and uh not not that anyone ever does it but you were smoking pot uh now how is that going to make any difference um um-hum you know unless you very unless you uh uh PCP does exist apparently in the blood stream uh-huh for a long period of time but the ability for you to function seems to be right uh very it it's very questionable as to whether it has any real effect upon you right probably alcohol has more of an effect for for a shorter period of time right so but i I just went through one recently uh-huh and uh the place i just transferred jobs not too long ago and so i went through the whole process and the uh-huh uh-huh there's really no justification what so ever for why i had to do it i mean uh uh-huh it's a company that it's basically a oh management engineering company um-hum so they were doing it just to they wanted to make sure that their employees were productive probably that's why now what wait but then but then uh but then if the if you're saying that that's probably why they justified it uh no i'm just trying to imagine why they would wanna test you they should also regulate right what they should also regulate how many hours of sleep i must have they should also regulate how much what kind of nutrition i have they should also regulate see it's a it's a it's a disturbing trend right right yeah i i think that people who do something that could hurt somebody else right uh should be subject to the testing i guess that's probably the the way i'd term it and i'm talking about bus drivers as you mentioned and pilots and what have you uh others that really can only hurt themselves shall we say uh um-hum okay okay um so what do you think um about putting an elderly in a nursing home well i think that it it varies on on the individual basis hm uh sometimes it is there's no alternative uh you do not have uh um-hum uh family available or family that's uh you may not even have family that is uh in and who around that's true yeah so sometimes it's not an alternative and i think uh but i think also sometimes it can be uh a benefit if it's for a short time sometimes in a nursing home hm um-hum um especially after if it's after an acute illness to get over a uh or to rehab after uh an illness that's true i never thought of that yeah sometimes you know it sometimes the nursing homes are good for uh just short periods of time that's true until they get over that hump of whatever it is they're dealing with um-hum because too often the acute hospitals will are sending them out much faster than what they're really able to yes they really are they don't like to keep them longer than a week but so so there is some good to it uh sometimes too it's used as a dumb job you know the families well the families do not necessarily yeah what do you mean uh know what to do with them and they don't wanna take the responsibility so they will put them in a nursing home yeah that's true so you see uh there's both sides to it too what do you think yeah and it depends on how how sick the person is too and what you're capable of like if you have a family to take care of you know of your own yeah yeah um i would personally like it if my parents were to get ill i would like to take care of them at home and if i had the money with some help that's not always possible that's true but um to the best of my ability i'd like to do it until it gets impossible well i think that's also where you're gonna to have a lot of people who are going to it's there's not a choice it's because there it's not economically feasible even to put them in a nursing home right um-hum yeah so that that option sometimes is not available if they do not have the uh either Medicare or insurance to cover it that's true yeah so but i think nursing homes can be good just depends on what kind they are you know an you need to check them out ahead of time yeah and then there's also some that are set up for specialties uh um-hum i know some elderly unfortunately some elderly have to go to or have i guess it's Alzheimer's or where they wander or or um um-hum confused or have some mental problems yeah that they're and you need a special nursing home for that you need one that has a unit that's locked where they are not able to get out and roam around and you need people who are trained for that type of problem yeah right and know what they're doing with that yeah so so there's different types of nursing homes i think yeah well my uh grandmother's not really in a nursing home but a retirement home that also has a nursing home sort of attached to it and she really liked the idea of of moving there she's not ill yet um-hum but um she worked there as a volunteer for about ten years and then she decided that um she's eighty five years old that eventually you know she she doesn't want her family taking care of her and being a burden she's very independent so she's in this nursing home it's out in the country and um she really enjoys it right now because she doesn't have to wash dishes or cook gives her a little bit of her own independence but she still has uh a security there uh-huh right some support and then there's also a sort of a wing for those people that do get sick and what i like about it and i think she likes about it is that she knows everybody there now and then so if she ever does become ill um it'll be like family around her that's right and i i've seen some of them like that too and also they have a lot of uh activities going on for the ones who are more active yeah um-hum yeah she so it's not sort of like uh uh a sick place um-hum no she loves it she had a great social life and she travels and um it's in in Missouri in the in the mountains and it's beautiful and uh i i hope that i have something like that when i get older yeah i think i think of the um i think the the decision that needs to be made though on nursing home has to be a joint one between the the uh elderly uh person who's going in um-hum and the family that's going to be uh effected effected by it oh definitely it's and uh you know sometimes it can those choices those choices can be made in advance and sometimes the choices uh because of the nature of the illness when they're um-hum right what do you feel about the um present situation in the Mideast well it looks like it's just about as volatile as it usually is um-hum what do you think Mark yeah i'd agree i think i think there's definitely been some changes um and i think you know the the um end of the Soviet Union will definitely have it's effect on on the situation oh yeah um you know in that there's there's not you know there you know if you know it's basically since the end of World War II there was always you know that little proxy war going on um-hum you know with um the US funding Israel and you had the um Soviet Union funding the Arab countries and then we'll see what happens when uh they're not funded quite as much or supplied with arms the same way yeah um-hum yeah but on the same token you know Israel has lost a lot of their you know value to the US in being you know the foothold of capitalism um-hum you know in in the Mideast well i we tend to be pretty strong supporters of Israel ourselves you know we support kind of cringe when they make mistakes but yet um-hum um-hum overall tend to support them but i think one of the most interesting things to me recently was you know during the war uh in uh Kuwait was uh um-hum the fact that they did not retaliate for the uh Scud missiles that were um-hum uh launched there that just seemed to me to be a uh a phenomenal uh demonstration of restraint and it must have reflected uh uh some awful good uh diplomacy on the part of the US um-hum yeah but on the other hand you know if they would've had a hard time retaliating because they you know they they wouldn't have been given access to the friend or foe codes i see they basically would've you know had a had a fly they'd had they would've had had to fly through you know two enemies uh you don't think they've got the codes from the US already the US had claimed that they would have not given them to them i see i mean of course you know public statements can be taken for that's true they can can't they um-hum yeah well what do you what about this situation with uh you know the uh do you continual uh harassment by Iraq right now and uh apparently failing to let the in uh arms inspectors have free access um-hum you know it well to begin with you know i pretty much question our what what the US's motives were in uh in in actually the original involvement um-hum um i the cynical side of me says that you know who it was more for uh um the the domestic political situation than for anything else hm yeah okay you know and that you know and for portraying Bush as a strong president sure um i mean i really i really think that that my gut feeling is that that that you know he pretty much picked picked a fight with um with um Hussein i mean i'm not not saying at all that Hussein wasn't quite willing to get enter that fight um right but i i think i think that that um we chose to have our official feelings hurt um-hum well do you think that uh we should ignore it and just allowed him to go ahead and uh we're a lot you know move on into Kuwait and see what happened i think i mean i thought i think that um in the past we've allowed lots of things like that to happen um-hum and i i really don't i really don't think that i think i think it was it was there were there were a lot more demographic related interests involved than true foreign policy interests right um yeah well may have been you know i'm not saying that that's not the case uh yeah and i mean in in in along those line since it since you know it really it really didn't accomplish very much except we're getting getting uh the Iraqis out of Kuwait right i just don't i just don't i i i don't i i i don't foresee Bush making the decision to invest a lot of manpower and money and you know in in fighting a second battle no um you know over over the um over over what what what probably won't accomplish him accomplish much for him politically no it doesn't look like we're getting ready to do to do much more in there um-hum even at this point yeah well what about uh do you have any any views on uh Israel's relation to the US do you think we ought to you know back off on our support of the country or what do you well i have i have very mixed feelings about Israel um i think that that for a long while we've we've had almost a you know had had this okay so uh Mike what are your opinions on uh trial by jury well i work for an insurance company so i see a lot of uh verdicts that are pretty crazily decided um by juries particularly and i know in England the judges set all of the awards you know juries will decide the guilt or innocence but then they leave the awards up to more learned people and i think maybe that avoids some of these totally ridiculous you know like millions and millions of dollars um-hum yeah that that seems to make sense that leave it up to the more experienced person who knows how it fits into the uh kind of the rate for different incidents oh exactly each individual jury really doesn't have any perception of what um the going you know if you will the going uh award should be for a certain type of case you know within some kind of range um-hum when you get one way out like that that then really doesn't penalize wind up penalizing the person that they went after who it really penalizes is their insurance company which then translates into higher rates for all of us right if they get some of those mega awards against them you know they're not going to sit there and lose money if they're losing money then they're going to raise rates right that they have to so it all comes filtering down to us all individually individually individually right and uh granted some people need to be compensated if they have really been wronged well you know how do you feel about setting like well for example a a car type accident where uh or some incident where someone loses a limb do you think that jury should have a dollar figure for losing an arm a dollar figure for losing different body parts it i don't know you know some of the health insurance is written that way you know that uh if you buy an accident and death or dismemberment policy you know it specifies pre specifies in the policy uh so much but i don't know that you can necessarily put a a value on somebody's limb uh arbitrarily that is always going to fit in all cases i think maybe um-hum you look at uh the age of the person and their station in life and and uh how much longer they have of work years that they would have to put up you know with with that i mean maybe you don't award an eighty five year old guy the same thing that you'd award a twenty one year old hm i i think it has to be some kind of common sense applied there and that may be where the judiciary is a little more learned about that stuff type of thing because they can be schooled in that kind of thing and it could be part of continuing education maybe for judges i don't know you know to get into the economics of things uh um-hum yeah right because if they wheel somebody into a courtroom and the jury's heart goes out to that person and they do one of these mega awards it really you know ultimately is not penalizing the person that they're trying to get anyway yeah that's true if it's a company you know that they're insured unless the award is so staggering that it goes all beyond their layers of insurance which is another pet peeve of mine when they do award punitive damages i think those should be uninsurable i think those should have to be paid by the corporation itself that that did the damage hm oh out of their as opposed to the corporation insurance paying the bills yeah type thing yeah uh-huh well we're for for honest mistakes where they've done something and and something happens one of their employees causes damage or something sure that's what they buy insurance for but what who who do they get they get insured they get insured from other insurance companies or how does that work well i was just talking about any company oh okay your talking about corporate uh let's just say a lumber manufacturing company and uh somebody is on the premises and one of the employees actually is driving by with a forklift and he pushes the wrong button and he drops a load of lumber on somebody and it injures them sure insurance should pay for that sure okay well but in some instances you're going to put companies out of business by taking that stance if they have to take it out of their own retained earnings well i'm not talking about any loss i was talking about only losses that are judged for a punitive damage which is another category of the juries are awarding damages these days based on the person's actual injuries and what they're due and then they're awarding a second amount as punishment to the company which is a lot usually a lot less but it's uh an amount their designed to sting them a little for their negligence for gross wanton negligence in a claim okay for oh um-hum and unfortunately the jury the lately the courts have been deciding that those could be paid for by insurance too um-hum so again it never really penalizes the company doing the wrong they can go right on doing the same old thing they always used to right they don't hm and if they if they know some practice is wrong you know i'm not talking about your isolated occurrences i'm talking more about the you know the thing that they know maybe they're willfully manufacturing something that they know is hurting people out there and they continue to do it even after they become aware of that sure okay then i think they ought to have to pay something out of their own pocket hello Larry sounds like you've got this uh huh sounds like you're ready to take a stab at it so why don't you go ahead okay well i you know i think that uh i think it's fine to do that but i don't think it should be mandatory i'm not i'm not for having the equivalent of a draft yeah i happen to uh this will be a real short one cause i happen to agree with you uh i think in principal it is a very very good thing but when you make it mandatory uh now you're talking about slavery that's right it's uh it comes down to um the uh it's kind of fun because i had picked the same topic uh last time i dialed in and uh you know which i didn't know it would do um oh is that right you know one of the uh things they're trying to think of is ways you could create or maybe create is wrong but advocate a societal imperative that would have the same goal how could you make it uh um-hum more desired and respected in society for people to voluntarily uh engage in public service um-hum well i'd say as far as government jobs uh they could uh have some incentive for instance veterans get a preference when they're applying for a government job and i'd say people at um-hum had voluntarily served in such a thing as the Peace Corps or or something yeah yeah could also get that yeah the uh what do you call it um not sure how you would do that outside of a government sector though and uh i don't know either and i'm not sure we'd want it you know i i kind of hope against reality sadly that uh that government sector will get smaller with time but every indication is that it won't huh-uh right you know i feel the same way yeah uh i think that uh i have nothing against the draft when you know when when the nation needs it uh but obviously when you don't need it you don't have a draft and i feel the same thing with universal service if there was a need for it then i'd say uh possibly i mean but it would to be an emergency type thing and i and i don't see that ever happening uh you know my uh my interpretation of history is is is that uh when there's a real need there's usually no shortage of volunteers you know you look at what happened uh in California with the earthquake there were plenty of people volunteering you know you look at World War Two there were plenty of volunteers um-hum that's right uh you look at from the war in Vietnam all of a sudden there weren't a whole lot of volunteers um-hum and uh you know the question of when do you quote need unquoted on a say for example a draft uh maybe it should be the other way around maybe the willingness of people to volunteer should be determining whether you need it or not um-hum that's that's true yeah cause uh you know if all you got to do is uh print up a few million draft cards to start a war you know you it may be a powerful incentive you know what do you call it um right by volunteer may be a powerful incentive for keeping people out of uh you know keep keeping us out of may make it a little more difficult to get into war you know there are times you need to right um-hum i don't perceive myself as a pacifist by any means but um you know there are probably there are places we've been over the years that perhaps we shouldn't have ah i don't think every time we uh wandered into some place it was honest just in itself i think we've screwed up a few times just like everybody else um-hum right i think about on on public service too i think it has some some thought has to be given to what do we want these people to do in public service and and that would have a bearing on what training should they have because if you wanted to have people you know as an incentive you can have people go in after high school indeed um and then offer them assistance with their college and that way you'd be getting people who really didn't have any expertise in any particular but uh any particular field but they'd be willing hands so so to speak on public service projects um well you know i i will say i given a choice between somebody with expertise and no interest in working and someone who is enthusiastic but lacks the skill i'll take the enthusiasm any day cause you can train that person um-hum right um-hum but somebody that's got no incentive i i'm not really sure what you can do are you familiar with the Civilian Conservation Corps back in the thirties um no that was before my time okay well i mean it's before my time too but i i read about it but you know in the height of the depression the government employed people to go work on public service projects uh-huh was it like uh WPA that's right like WPA it was the same thing and there were many uh a lot of the national parks were built up by the Civilian Conservation Corps and a lot of WPA projects are still uh-huh um-hum serving the the nation yeah yeah so uh something you know uh unskilled people could could do things like that as long as they had a positive attitude hm yeah my only concern about projects like that you know there my concern is uh you've got this resource whether it's uh unemployed people whether it's volunteers what have you you've got this resource and what is the best way to target where you're going to point it uh um-hum you know i don't know the answer to that i'm not automatically well the main uh two recycling efforts i see in this neighborhood are at work um somebody got the idea of collecting all the phone books together and it's probably several tons of them uh-huh and uh white paper computer paper and stuff like that and the other one would be the local grocery stores have got um newspaper bins i just recently noticed a magazine bin which is really nice and now i've got a place to dump all these things but a really prominent sign is that until recently they accepted those plastic milk jugs uh-huh uh-huh and they're probably the main you know source of those things in the first place but they've quit taking those now huh which is a little disturbing uh is that because they can't do anything with them or uh i don't know i was under the impression that they were converting or that the two liter plastic bottles could be um chipped down and used for a lot of things like uh carpet industry's pretty big in the northern part of the state here um-hum and i've heard that some of the companies make their carpets completely from that stuff but i don't know if there's any use for those strange opaque milk carton type um plastic jugs or not uh-huh yeah i don't even know what they're made out of urethane or yeah they seem to be a pretty nasty kind thing whatever that is something like that yeah yeah we've actually got uh see there's several different bins at the work place and at home we've got several different recycling things going on and um uh at home we actually have a private sanitation company that asks us to separate out all of our stuff and they take everything from car oil you know engine oil oh very good which is a hard one to get get rid of yeah yeah to you know plastic milk jugs and bottles and stuff like that so we have it all sort of separated out in bags by the time he comes around he comes around a couple times a week then we have um there's a recycling center down at uh park not far from us uh where if you really have big loads you can go in and separate it yourself so there's all uh you know all the different categories categories of stuff i don't know if they break it out in plastics between milk jugs and other things but i think it's like plastics glass paper yeah hm and then uh at work this actually kind of a funny story uh for a long time the the guys who ran the company i work for we're kind of resistant to uh any kind of recycling because they felt like it was just going to cost them money or something yeah that's kind of reasonable and uh so they put up uh eventually you know there's enough pressure and they put up they put up a couple different uh bins one of them was for paper which everybody gets everybody gets a paper bin in their office but there're so many restrictions on what you can toss in there that it's almost more of pain than it's worth um yeah no you know no clips no staples you know and so it's kind of it's kind of a pain you have to get get in that habit yep and uh the other ones uh they have for aluminum cans they also have and this is sort of the funniest part they had a styrofoam recycling thing going on i understand and they were actually yeah they were actually um in the uh staff meetings that we used to have there was this guy who's job it was to sort of track that and every month he would actually report how much money never heard of that one before of this company made on recycling and so he'd say you know and i'd like to report that we made twenty five dollars and two cents on styrofoam cup recycling so we were we were always making jokes about you know maybe we could fold that over into computer purchases or something like that you know so by the year you know twenty fifty you know we could buy a or something you know with but uh that's an interesting one never heard of styrofoam recycling before yep so that seems like a prime candidate for recycling though yeah for uh well they they actually took sort of the reverse approach to start with they just decided well we won't we won't let anybody use anything styrofoam so they stopped buying coffee cups and stuff like that which is a real pain you know because i mean not everybody uh wonders in with their coffee cup i mean a lot of us haven't been you know yeah and those packing peanuts are hard to avoid in a business too yeah yeah so anyway so we we have a lot of things lot of things going on i actually i'm i'm a big uh i'm a big recycling fan i think it's pretty important actually hear about all these stories about uh plastics and stuff showing up out in the ocean you know choking animals and stuff like that it's pretty pretty gory uh yeah yeah they'll last forever yeah all these millions of years nothing has um evolved to take care of that stuff uh there there's actually a company out um uh straight west of us in Strasburg Virginia that makes arm rests for cars in mass quantities in fact virtually every piece of trim that you see on the inside of your car Japanese or American these guys make hm and uh so it's a giant plastics plant i think they have a seventy like a seventy five percent market share or something do they use a lot of recycled goods for their raw material uh i think they use a lot of recycled plastic but the funny thing about it is is that they have because of certain i run uh usually a couple of times a week um because i i'm at i'm a student at Rice University and so i can just sort of run a loop around the campus which is about three miles good and um that's sort of i guess it's probably the most common thing i do for exercise the other thing i do is um i try and play racquetball a couple of times a week with um a friend um-hum Bill do you feel safe running across the campus uh yeah actually if i do it uh certainly at night i feel i mean sorry not at night i feel perfectly safe at night i usually do it with someone else um-hum well the area immediately north of you and immediately west of you is not a very good area well let's see um north is sort of the meandrous area which is not uh it's not too bad as far as crime goes i think i mean it's not really great yes um south is the area that's really crime ridden that's sort of the south main area um okay the south main yes okay i know what you're talking about yeah so that that's not too great but the um i usually feel pretty safe around the campus itself uh the uh Rice has their own police department and they're pretty aggressive about um-hum well you've got pretty good fencing around your parameter parameter no actually we don't we don't have fences it's just uh a tall hedge so okay well but uh yeah it does yeah at least it's a psychological barrier so i know you have some separation because my uh son went to Saint Thomas for uh a year and and uh we drove over and looked at Rice with the reason we thought there might some possibilities of of changing but anyway uh i was very impressed with the campus yeah it's really it's a pretty a beautiful campus especially considering it's in the middle of the ugly city like Houston but uh yeah uh my exercise program i used i did run uh for several reasons i now do mostly walking uh one was that i had a knee injury i stepped in a in a crack or a whole twisted my knee and it was very painful hm yeah and the other is i'm getting older now so it makes more sense to walk than it does to run yeah i can um one of the reasons i run uh probably the biggest reason either run or play racquetball i mean either of them is um because if i don't get exercise i don't i don't sleep well and i just don't feel as good i just feel kind of yucky um-hum well the emotional the emotional benefits of running are almost as good as the physical benefits i use it as stress relief yeah yeah that too i mean uh the um but the reason why i noticed you were talking about walking i i don't if i walk i'd have to walk like ten miles i think to you know for it to really sort of get the same benefit as running if i run uh really hard yeah um-hum that's true and that that may just be that may just be me or you know whatever i'm sure i'm sure when i get older i'll probably i'll be more of a workout but yeah well i walk forty five i walk forty five to fifty minutes that's pretty good yeah which is uh between two and three miles at a at a fairly comfortable uh yeah the last time i was doing an aggressive running program i was in graduate school about um oh it's i guess it's been ten years ago now but uh anyway i was doing i was running three miles a day five times a week and that wow that that that's a fair amount that's more than i do by a considerable amount well that was that was because i was in graduate school and i was doing about a sixty hour week yeah and i had to do all this to play it you know to get things under control yeah yeah no i understand that i mean i i sometimes you know feel like uh well one reason another another reason why i run rather than do something like walk is uh it takes a long time yes because it's sort of the same work out but but yeah i can i sort of you know am able to you know sleep better and and be more uh more alert um when i'm you know when i am awake if i if i exercise regularly so it really it's kind of like an investment that pays off i've never tried the handball do you find that helps you a lot well i mean it's kind of it's it's you know it's good exercise especially when you get good at it because you the idea is to make the other player run to where he's not i mean you hit the ball it's kind of like tennis in that sense but you're not chasing always chasing after the ball um um-hum yes i yes but uh the reason why i do like that a little bit better than running if i can find uh you know people to play with because it's more it's more interesting i mean there's you know like a game aspect to it as well as just sort of the exercise um-hum right and as long as you keep moving you have the aerobic effect and i i'm sure if you have a half way good player you do keep running yeah oh yeah yeah yeah and it took a little it took a little while to to get good i mean the first you know i don't know two or three weeks of playing uh you know to i didn't really get that great of work out but but it now i it's pretty good um-hum i used to uh years ago play tennis but again uh as you get older tennis is pretty rough on the knees i'm sure handball would be also yeah i can i can understand knee problems because i've found i haven't had trouble with it this year but in past years when i've you know done only running and not racquetball um my um-hum did you attend public school i did attend public school for all but one year i uh went to a Catholic school for one year found that uh it did not agree with me or i did not agree agree with it and uh spent the rest of my education in public schools uh-huh uh-huh uh i had mixed feelings on it uh because i thought that there was a greater range of students that a public school has to uh has to address yes that's true they can't root out the troublemakers as easily right and and the the programs have to be wider uh when i went to the Catholic high school uh there was nothing but a college preparatory course okay and in the public school there were uh a couple of different courses the uh the the so-called business course uh the college prep course and then there was the uh the uh the the basic uh gas station manager track uh you know yeah i never yeah yes vocational education we called it right and i'm not sure that uh the college prep course was any worse in a public school than it would've been in a private school uh-huh but i think that the teachers were spread a little more thin because they weren't always able to focus on the areas that they taught best uh-huh uh-huh and by spreading thin you mean they too many students or too many subjects per teacher or well a little bit of both uh the school wasn't very crowded when i went there although it's since gotten it's since gotten worse but uh there were uh-huh um-hum there were some very good math teachers there there was one uh a science teacher in particular there who ended up having to teach a i i can't remember what course it was but it was really unsuitable uh it was some sort of uh um shop or mechanical drawing class and he just oh uh-huh he know he didn't know much about it but they figured he was a warm body in a room uh-huh that's kind of technical so he could him it was him yeah right right and i don't think that uh i don't i don't think that there are the resources in most public schools to be able to say well what we need here is a trained machinist to teach teach the metal shop course let's go find one they just say well you know we have this course we need a body for it um-hum uh-huh were already paying this guy right yeah yeah uh did you go to a public school i did i did and uh i felt i got a very i mean i feel i got a very poor education in general uh um-hum but i think that i knew other people from other public schools who got better educations um uh in our case it think it was you know the teachers uh again spread thin but maybe in terms of just having too many student to really do the job um i'm sort of i have a two year old son now and so i'm starting to think about um-hum education you know more critically and trying to figure out what we want to do and i'm just sort of turned off by the whole uh the whole system where everyone sits facing the front of the room as quiet as possible while the teacher lectures uh especially for small children um-hum sure uh it just seems like it's not the way they're going to learn best but when you have one teacher and thirty students what else can you do right you know i mean it seems like the the style of teaching that we we have grown to think of as normal i think is dictated by economics in just in terms of uh student teacher ratios um um-hum so have you started looking into uh alternative schools like Montessories um no so far i'm just whining i haven't done anything constructive yet uh we fantasize about homeschooling uh-huh um-hum but uh we probably won't right although i could see where that would be that could be a lot of fun i can see a lot of advantages to homeschooling but uh there's it's it's interesting there's uh someone here in Rhode Island who is very disgusted with the school system served on jury duty but it's ironic because i have a summons here for the thirtieth which is the Monday after next and i'll be a little more authoritative on this after then um i haven't either but here recently i with with the advent of court TV i've watched a little bit more than but um uh than i would have a probably a year or so ago so i i've been getting a little more interested in court procedures too um yeah i would think that um sentencing would be the kind of thing that an expert system would be ideal for you know there's a whole bunch of evidence that's supposed to be weighed and for nice uniform sentencing for particular things it would um seem like the perfect solution but i suppose that would be really subject to abuse as well well uh i guess it could be but i i i agree with you in that to the extent that i i think it it largely would be more uniform i think uh as a opposed to a a real mixture of juries with in different locations and different you know ideas yeah there's so much variation in sentencing like this guy recently that um there was some guy that was convicted and he volunteered to be castrated i guess that was down in your area uh yeah uh i think it was yeah Houston i've been hearing about that yeah and then here they've gone and um no surgeon could be found to perform the job so the judge went and withdrew the whole idea or something like that yeah plus he was getting a lot of uh uh criticisms i guess for by different groups you know about just being inhumane you know that sort of thing yeah one thing i would certainly like to see is that um criminals be sentenced to some sort of a uh a means of paying for their um incarceration i think that's that's reasonable those of us on this side of uh the justice system have to pay pay our way through life yeah and and the costs are real high i guess of both uh of of keeping someone in prison and going through the trial procedure the whole whole works uh yeah absolutely and and that just comes out of the tax money and uh in a lot of cases the uh uh the person being tried sometimes you know they do have the means to uh to repay the courts or the victims or the prisons to uh to keep them really or to perform some sort of more work than is is currently done in most prisons yeah i would think there's a lot that a lot of production that could could be done um you know with people like that whether totally unskilled or not yeah yeah they need to make some adjustments on that um uh the the other question i guess that that to be addressed is uh whether uh a a verdict should should require unanimous uh uh decision that's a tough one we seem to as a group have such a hard time all agreeing and what is it they say about democracy the flaws of democracy is that nobody will um agree on anything or it's hard to get everybody to agree on something i can't there's some saying i can't remember what it is yeah it yeah i i i don't know but it seems like um everything is so stacked and in favor of the criminal that it's a shame to have a a majority that would vote uh guilty and to have just one dissenting vote could jeopardize the whole uh whole process or whole whole verdict to yeah really that's a really good point and it seems like it should just be uh some come up with some sort of majority maybe um uh maybe a two thirds or a three quarters majority or something because it's it's hard to get every single person to to agree on anything like you say how is it now do you know do they have it so that if um some certain percentage agrees then or well it has to right now it has to be unanimous on most of those decisions if not it's a hung jury and uh they're asked to stay in and try to come up with the unanimous verdict and then if eventually it's uh uh not unanimous even by one vote it's sometimes i i think it's either thrown out or they have to go for retrial hum um even if just one person is is holding out or can't be convinced to uh to vote guilty more time and expense yeah i mean that's really a really really really a lot of cost to uh to bring that to trial again very interesting yeah there seems to be a lot of problems with the uh criminal justice system in America today i'm certainly no one to have the answers yeah they it needs some some revising and i heard that this is a little unrelated i guess but i heard uh what was it the other day it said to for someone who's convicted and put on death row it was it it was up in the millions what it costs to keep that person and then to execute that person at the time you you you know it usually takes years to do that hum unbelievably i just all the appeals processes that goes on and yeah and they're all automatic too for a long ways at least yeah and that was just uh amazing that they were talking about a millions of dollars per hello this is Tad in Seattle hello Tad this is Glenn in Portsmouth New Hampshire ah well i guess i had to wait a long time till they found somebody uh how long were you hanging around for oh i don't know quite a while i was about to go to sleep well you ready well i'm glad you hung in there okay you ready okay sure okay well um provocative topic as usually oh capital punishment definitely yeah most people have very strong opinions about it usually on both extremes though yeah i uh well what about yourself i'm kind of um waffling i don't know i i uh i don't really like the idea but then occasionally i hear about a heinous crime where i think well if we're going to have public capital punishment then you know this guy should definitely get it one thing that bugs me about it is the uh finality of it i mean occasionally they make a mistake and send the wrong guy to prison sometime later they you know figure it out and they release him um-hum well and uh it bugs me that uh you know this is the one kind of punishment that they definitely can't reverse well i think there's got to be clauses as far as in capital punishment that you can not execute anyone that there's not absolute positive identification and a lot of crimes you uh that a a person is convicted they rely on one person's eye witness testimony um-hum something like that i don't think would be substantial enough uh you know somewhere where twenty people saw watched one person mowed gunned down you know five people that's a clear case of a person who should be executed and i unfortunately that that is not the situation right now those kinds the punishment is not set up in most states you know because as you stated earlier there are some crimes that's so barbaric they uh the person that perpetuates the crime deserves to be uh punished um-hum yeah i uh course usually the case where there's a bunch of witnesses and they see one guy uh mow down a bunch of people and those cases the guy usually turns the gun on himself anyway yeah but unfortunately not in all cases that is really the sad part about it yeah uh the case in Texas where the person uh shot the restaurant yeah i guess it's Ruby's or someplace like that he ended up killing himself but if he had survived uh by some chance i think it would have been criminal if our system had allowed him to live in prison for life well but um if uh if you don't execute sick people um for acting out their sickness uh how by definition can you execute anybody who pulls off a crime like that um-hum i mean since they're obviously insane well i don't think they're necessarily insane course i guess there's a definition of insanity of whether they or not they knew what they were doing that's a little different than what i'm talking about yeah i i think some people can fool the system into believing that they're truly insane it and i'm i even if they are insane yeah i'm sort i'm sort really sort of a hard core on this well uh Dahmer as an example um-hum yeah there are probably seventeen or so victims of his crimes we're going to take care of him in prison uh for an indefinite period of time you know mental hospitals and so forth rehabilitation and that's going to cost us a lot of money and i don't really think that we should be doing something like that you know whether he was uh whether he was ill or not um the crimes were heinous uh yes it's uh it's a good example of where capital punishment would come in handy yeah but uh it it there's a case where the guy's obviously ill i mean a guy that opens up people's brains and performs lobotomies um-hum amateur lobotomies i mean is obviously not rational well then i don't know i don't know whether you can you know morally take the power of the state to end that guy's life i i don't know i maybe that's a good reason to end his life if if he's that irrational well it it i mean what what what would make him rational twenty years of rehabilitation is it really worth spending all that time effort to rehabilitate someone who you may never ever be able to rehabilitate and who it's questionable whether you should be rehabilitated them in rehabilitating them in the first place well yeah i don't know that there's any hope of rehabilitating him but the but then the question comes up does the does the state have the right to do you know essentially the same what he did um-hum well i think the state you know it's one thing to torture someone when you're ending their life which uh was done in the ancient times it's another thing to relatively relatively painlessly inject someone with with uh uh medication to all right well i've been to a couple we've uh we just had one recently for my mom's birthday that all the kids got together all right uh-huh where was that in in Wyoming Sundance where in Wyoming oh i've been through Wyoming but and uh i uh when uh on our way to Montana so that's a bit sure is pretty country up there yeah and we just kind of we kept uh kind of uh it was a surprise birthday party for her was what it was wow how old was she sixty five oh i bet she just uh was pleased oh yeah she she didn't know what was going on or anything oh that's great but my dad had a knew uh what was going on but she didn't and several people in town knew what was going on but they never did tell her so uh that's uh that's that's quite a feat to be able to do that oh yeah because we figured somebody'd probably tell her sooner or later relatively small community it uh it would be pretty easy yeah it so how many folks were up there well we just had uh just immediate family just uh the kids and uh grandkids yeah my well what it was was just huh let's see it was uh just my sisters me and my mom and dad and then uh our kids' oh neat so uh it was pretty good well i bet did you take a lot of pictures yeah we even had some video taken so yeah got all the big eyes and surprises huh oh yeah we had a surprise party uh for uh for my mom once and uh she they're in they're in Lubbock yeah uh she has uh oh about eight or nine grandkids and we hid them all through a friend's house um-hum uh she walked in the room and all of a sudden these grandkids started popping up out of furniture and behind doors and she just uh was speechless for about fifteen or twenty minutes yeah really caught her off guard it's it's really fun to have a have a have uh that sort of uh surprise to family members oh yeah yeah do you have a lot of family in Fort Worth oh no it's it's me and my wife and son oh how uh are you where's your wife from she's from San Antonio uh that uh that's quite uh quite a spread to get uh everybody together it's hard now and days actually oh yeah well we go to you know we go to San Antonio a lot to be with them during like Thanksgiving or Christmas so unless that's kind of our family reunions with them now we uh we have our uh our side of the family really is pretty spread out so we we're we have to uh have a reunion maybe every other year yeah we all uh uh gather uh uh at a place just north of Austin which is fairly convenient for everybody we've got folks from El Paso to Waco to Houston to Dallas so that uh uh trying to trying to make it uh make everybody work a little bit i guess that's the deal that way no one feels like they're being yeah make everybody feel like well you're not at just one person's house so you don't really have to you kind of all stay in in motels and stuff taken advantage of yeah one of the uh one one of the rules is that if you're not at the reunion you have to plan the next one uh-huh that's a pretty so that's that's worked out that that that that brought a lot of people yeah i never thought of that that'd probably work well that uh it it uh it's been successful so far and you know we after the reunion it's uh it's so funny because you'd say well uh we ought to do this twice a year we had so much fun and it it it's too bad you can't yeah yeah you know used to be i guess with uh family reunions where they just sort of came in from the surrounding towns uh uh it was a lot easier but now and days we've got people scattered all over the country and it's that's really tough yeah to get folks together it's not they don't want to but yeah yeah it's that's the problem with us i'm down here and and then i have a sister in New York City ooh and then the rest of my sisters live right around Sundance what brought you uh down from Wyoming uh i'm in the service oh i'm in the Air Force so that kind of how we uh we used to live in Fort Worth actually and we lived over by Carswell and i just love watching those planes come by yeah it's it's it's really pretty well i just before i came here i was stationed in Lubbock yeah yeah i was there for four years and then i got down here i generally uh prefer to do repairs that i am capable of doing myself if it results in significant money savings yeah um i always used to do the the you know the the fairly simple repairs uh recently i haven't because uh uh time's become more of a premium for me yeah yeah i'm finding that too uh-huh it's also you know it's also getting to the point where i'm sitting there saying well gee unless i am really enjoy doing this this it's costing me more money to do it myself then it would for uh i mean that's the reason i mean it that's right you better you better enjoy doing it or else it's not really worth it right i the last one that that i did myself was i was i found that i was backing out of the garage and i got a little too close to the door on the driver's side i was uh watching too closely on the passenger side i guess and i wasn't paying attention closely enough and i ended up whacking my uh side view mirror off the side of my car which kind of uh made me kick myself yeah the the the other things you always do oh geez shoot yeah but i looked into getting that replaced and that was going to cost a fair amount of money because i would have to take it to the uh dealer who would put a factory replacement part on and then charge me fifty bucks and hour to do the work um-hum and so i figured well i can do that myself i i'll pick up the mirror myself which alone was more money than i wanted to spend on a just a stupid little mirror but it's one of those power ones and it's heated heated and and all that right and i was going on a trip the next day so i figured i'd go out and put the mirror on but i ended up i had to take the whole door apart uh to oh because you couldn't access you couldn't access it yeah to get the cable where the cable plugged in to the uh to the rest of the system was way down in the door right so it ended up being a bitch huh yeah it was more than i really wanted to do and then i got it i finally got it all apart figured out what i had to do and i put the mirror on and i got it plugged in and i put the door back together right and everything was fine i also have power windows and i had to have the window down to do what i was doing and oh no i'm sorry i had to have the window up to do what i was doing and i went to uh no it was down it was down i had to have the window down i went to uh put the window back up it was the middle of winter and the window wouldn't go up because i had the cable yeah so you had a trip that you had to go to the next day in the middle of winter and your window would not come back up all right and no i took the door all apart again and i moved the cable over so it wasn't blocking the window but uh i don't know it used to be fun doing those sorts of things and i don't maybe i'm loosing interest or also cars are getting a lot more complex than they used to be yeah that that's part of the reason why i have cut down also is that uh same reason uh last thing i did was just replace my uh uh light on uh yeah uh-huh you know headlights in the front now that one i you know it actually they actually said to go in and get the service person to do that too and i said well forget that oh yeah yeah uh but and it was kind of a a pain yeah because you uh you you couldn't really fix it without leaving the lights on oh because it i didn't have it doesn't have a uh off yeah it's one of those um uh flipping type headlights oh okay yeah and you so you have to have it up so you have to have the light on right right and some of them you know they have uh uh one click where you where it goes up and it's like not on on some of the some but this one did not uh-huh oh boy no but i figured a way to get around it but it was kind of a really stupid way to have to do it is you is you get it up in the air and then you turn then you take the battery off and then it then it can't bring it back down all right yeah that's one way to do it right and then but then the lights are still out so you're not sitting there going i can't see now i think my mechanic mechanic found a way to do that there's a switch somewhere that you can push that uh pop the light up without turning it on right i don't know where that is on my car because i have the flip up type too um-hum but he did something to make that happen right i mean there there probably is but they didn't bother to tell me so yeah right privileged information that's great uh then that's the other thing is that there always seems to be some really weird tool yeah um-hum and things like you know oil filters every every car now it's so tight in in in the region where where the engines are you can never get to the oil filter yep that's right though though i guess it's getting a little better again because um what they did is first they used to have the big cars and big engines yep then they got the small cars with the not well designed engines now they're redesigning enough that some that to some extent it's it's accessible again but i remember a couple of those cars you know you'd sit there and say right there's no way anyone could get in there unless they could take the car and put it up into the air yep that's right or unless it's high enough off the ground that you can crawl underneath it right yeah but that's not usually easy either and i uh every year you hear somebody gets themselves killed by climbing under a car or under a jack and the only thing you you know i guess you um-hum um-hum i work for one of the defense contractors out here actually it's it's not a defense contractor it's uh a federally funded research and development center uh-huh kind of like the Mitre Corporation only uh uh we work mainly with the Air Force in terms of satellites alright and um so um in other words your your bread and butter comes from the federal government the the government yes uh right so your your uh your life sort of follows it's flow that's correct so um how are the benefits set up are they set up like they are in the federal government or are they uh actually no um it turns out that uh we are a non profit organization so the the benefits are different um uh-huh i mean basically you get you know the the health care coverage uh one of the big pluses for this company was you would get um three weeks of vacation to start normally in California when you work for one of the defense contractors they give you three weeks to start but all of the companies shut down between Christmas and New Year's so you end up in essence only getting two weeks of voluntary vacation and one week of involuntary vacation is you want to look at it that way sure i see what you're saying uh where as in our uh for our company they did not have until very recently a plant shutdown between Christmas and New Year's uh the idea is that you've got the three weeks and you can take it whenever you want it um-hum so that was a big plus benefit for this company and that's just recently been taken away from you uh well the past couple of years because of uh cut backs and and whatnot they uh basically have put down and told people that you either take a week of vacation between Christmas and New Year's or take a week of no pay um uh the it's up to you you have the choice and so the the company does shut down between Christmas and New Year's i don't believe that this is a long term solution that they're going to use but uh they have been doing it for the past couple of years and they may do it for a year or two more development yeah well um you say now you say you get your health benefits is this a one hundred percent coverage uh uh-huh no i don't think any of unless of course you go with an HMO yeah uh the thing is that they also do not have uh eye glass coverage so if you need eye glasses you're on your own uh they also do not provide uh well they do provide dental if you go with an HMO though you lose the um the choose choice of doctors if you take their you know they have one of these cafeteria plans so you you either choose the HMO or you choose the ability to choose um-hum um i guess blue cross and blue shield is who they have now and the idea there is that if you go with one of their associated doctors they'll pay eighty percent if you go with a non associated doctor they pay seventy percent um-hum um-hum so that that i have to admit i mean when i first started out you were covered completely and it was not a um an HMO type of thing i i when i first started out in engineering i worked for RCA back in the mid seventies and uh they just covered everything um-hum sure but uh you know i've watched this slowly erode erode erode until the point where now um i figure that the next thing is going to be uh you're going to have to pay big bucks and they're only going to pay cover certain certain uh diseases well that's it certainly looks the way things are headed right now if uh something isn't done at the i guess at the federal level or right yeah or something i don't know about this but it's uh i um worked for a number of years as support staff in law law firms in the Washington Area uh-huh and i kind of had exactly the same experience uh law the especially during the seventies and eighties law firms were just rolling in the money um-hum and uh it's a little bit less that way now the recession has even hurt a lot of the big law firms in this area but um uh-huh the result uh was during that period that not only did we get one hundred percent benefits in terms of health care and so forth but they were rather extravagant plans that we were party to with with uh full dental and huh uh you know optical stuff stuff for our eyes and uh and so forth and i have to confess i had a couple of real bad health scares during that time and found that it really came in handy the HMO idea uh-huh right wow appeared on the scene i guess in the mid eighties and i tried a couple of them out uh and in fact have eventually settled on one of them i've change jobs now but this the same HMO is still available in my current position and and um hum it's it's uh i the interesting thing they've done some interesting things with the HMO's in this area where you there are a number of doctors and you can choose amongst the doctors that are available in fact uh one of them that's run by Prudential has essentially signed up a bunch of private physicians in the the Washington Area what kind of music you into well i have a uh pretty wide taste uh in music ranging from progressive rock to jazz to uh lot of different forms of uh music in fact it's easier for me to say uh the types of music that i don't like are opera and uh screaming heavy metal the opera yeah it's right on track i like classical but i can't deal with opera at all i've and heavy metal uh it's noisy i'm into uh some industrial music that's a a bit even harder than that but it's it's got to have a point to it uh-huh oh i don't mind music that's difficult to listen to but uh the the uh basic point of heavy metal which which seems to be music to annoy you is uh gets a little annoying yeah what kind of progressive stuff oh lot of stuff that actually has uh ended up becoming popular like uh Nirvana and uh oh you know i'm thirty so lot of the stuff i was listening to in my teens like the Clash and and the Sex Pistols and REM uh that sort of stuff uh REM makes me laugh because they've gone from a college radio progressive group to being uh you know ultra mainstream at this point and it's not really that they've changed their musical style so much as the stream changed oh yeah yeah it's a lot of people like like saying that you know bands in that position you know sold out i think that's pretty much you know bull uh-huh because REM really hasn't changed it's it's it's interesting they're producing uh similar music and it's good music but you know people have picked up on it uh-huh that's good i'm impressed i think it is uh for a while there music seemed to really have popular music seemed to have uh not a lot of point to it i was really tired of uh the Michael Bolton Michael Michael Bolton really got on my nerves because he he was making all this money doing mediocre cover tunes oh yeah and i could uh go down to a bar that's about three minutes from my house and hear people doing covers better than him not making nearly as much money uh but he picked the right songs and i guess and that that's about all he had going for him or still has for that matter that that and a marvelous hairdo oh yeah yeah i'm sure that that sold that sold a lot for him that's all you really need for a lot of lot of pop i'm kind i've kind of like developed a a short hatred for for pop it just seems like there's no no real point you hear the same same tune over and over again in a thousand guises and uh-huh well it's it's interesting because you were you were saying that you liked classical music uh-huh and i like a lot of classical music but i also dislike uh some classical music and what gets me even more is the attitude of people who are really into classical music and feel that if if it's not seventy five years old it hasn't stood the test of time yeah i can i can believe that what kind of things are you do you like in classical what's the standard uh stuff that i like uh i like Bach i tolerate Vivaldi i can't stand uh uh Debussy or Debussy uh uh i like Tchaikovsky he can make a lot of noise when he's uh so inclined uh and some of some oh yes stuff that i like uh for instance Frank Zappa has done a fair amount of orchestral composition uh-huh and that's interesting music but it would not get performed by any uh municipally funded uh philharmonic uh just because number one it's Frank Zappa and he's weird number two isn't he still alive you know we're we're much better off playing uh Beethoven's ninth that's right you know we'll we'll do we'll do the ninth and everyone will know it and and hum it it's safe and it it it just isn't chance taking enough for me uh i feel that uh that that music should take chances in one way or another and that uh you know if you've heard a piece oh a hundred a hundred times so David uh what are the capital punishment laws down in the state of Florida they have the electric chair i believe remember Ted Bundy oh that's right couple years ago they were all down there saying fry him oh so the laws are still intact then oh yeah they yeah they use that all the time well not all the time is you know it it it's always backlogged it usually takes a guy usually a guy sits on death row for three or four years at least before they put him you know in the actual actual electric chair um-hum and i imagine that costs a small bundle too yeah he always gets all these appeals and everything go through the court process he gets all these appeals and everything uh as far as it being a deterrent to people i don't think it's a deterrent a deterrent uh i think it's i think it's more for the families more than anything the families probably get some justification out of it um-hum but uh as far as it deterring anybody from committing murder or something like that i don't think it really does no but i think it does serve a valuable purpose in the sense that the victims get some sort of satisfaction the community doesn't pay for the burden of having a the victims can a prisoner in jail for twenty years that's right that's right you know and having to supply them with a color TV and um books and education so forth right i mean what is it how much is it a year to keep a prisoner it's like twenty thousand a year to food and clothe a prisoner some ridiculous price and i imagine it probably costs a great deal amount of money to to even go through the process of trying to electrocute someone yeah to the court proceum i mean it tying up attorney's time uh times the court system yeah i don't know how many appeals Ted Bundy had uh they just keep appealing it and appealing it to the next higher next higher you know just keeps they keep going higher and higher up and uh you know it does take a long time it takes money of course to do that so and it's a public defender most of the time so um-hum well how do you feel about that do you are you in favor of capital punishment as a yeah yes i am i am in favor of it but as far as it being an actual deterrent to crime i don't think it is like i said it's mostly for the families benefit i think or the victims um-hum uh the you know the family of the victims do you guys have it up there where where'd you say you were from yeah i'm from New Hampshire okay New Hampshire they have it up there yeah as far as i remember we don't have it um i know there hasn't been anyone executed up here probably in about thirty forty years which is ironic because we come from very conservative state uh very strong on on punishment and crime um it uh during one thing we don't really have that that much crime up here when we do have a celebrated case like Pamela Smart i don't know if you heard about that that's the schoolteacher one right i saw the movie about that yeah that's a case where um she's probably guilty i don't think there's enough evidence there to convict her i mean to uh execute her um-hum i think if because once you execute someone the the the decision the decision is final you can't really reverse the process um well that is the bad thing about it and i'm i'm sure that back in the old days they they put to death a couple innocent ones during the process but they're but they're uh opinion was well if you got few few innocent people have to die to protect the majority then that's okay you know i don't i don't necessarily agree with that um-hum yeah i don't agree with that either i think if you kill someone who's innocent that's uh it screwed up the whole thing in my opinion yeah i agree with you there somebody you can't even live with if they you you really need to you know case where John Hinkley tried to assassinate the President uh that's pretty obvious that's open and shut isn't it right and if he had succeeded uh uh without a doubt he should be executed executed that's right uh whether he's insane or not that's right same thing with Dahlmer i mean he killed seventeen people right uh it's it's a shame that we're gonna have to pay for him now in his case now is that that's Minnesota right what's that is that Minnesota i think uh Michigan or somewhere somewhere around there or Wisconsin or ah maybe it's Wisconsin yeah they they might have capital punishment the thing with people like that they like to take and study them put them in jail and do studies on them like that so that's they can try to get a profile of his personality i think you know and i guess in states where they don't have capital punishment that's the kind of stuff they do but i think in his case they will put him to death because all the all the kids you know all the families and stuff aren't going to tolerate it yeah but i thought he he received his sentence um remember maybe what the what the final turnout was what is the final uh is he still going to trial for that i thought he went to rehabilitation rehabilitation mean they they were going to put him in rehabilitation for a few years then prison for the rest of his life that's right because he's definitely insane i think they proved that he was insane and maybe that's maybe that was uh what got him off or made him uh not get the death penalty because they can prove that he's insane then i i don't think you get the death penalty but the the but the uh prosecution was trying to uh say that he was sane when he committed them so they could but they they were going for the death penalty i think that's what they were trying to uh i mean the they knew he did it that he was guilty it was just a matter of was he going to get the death penalty or life in prison um-hum yeah i think the families wanted him to get death yeah i think that's a a case where there really needs to be some change in the laws to allow for flexibility i think if one person kills another person out of hi um the most experience i know about that is just when we had my grandma and she lived with us when i was a little girl for about three or four years and then we had to put her in a rest home and uh-huh uh-huh because you couldn't take care of her anymore huh yeah she had to have nurses care yeah that's rough isn't it and yeah it was a really hard decision because i she had nine kids and they had all decided that between the nine of them they could keep her at their home uh-huh wow but uh her health just failed so much that they couldn't do that she needed an IV and things yeah that's really hard my grandma is uh just turned ninety oh wow and she's still on her own oh my goodness and she's down in Phoenix and i don't know what we'll do when she can't take care of herself her her son my dad is dead uh-huh and she has a daughter my aunt uh who lives in another state but uh she has and then there's just the grandkids uh well i'm like the uh yeah i'm my sister and i are the grandkids are her only grandkids oh wow so i don't i don't know what's going to happen with her but she's amazingly strong uh yeah that's what's neat is when they don't have to go into a rest home or anything yeah but i don't know i guess uh most of us uh probably end up there sooner or sooner or later yeah my grandpa lived to be ninety four and oh my gosh his grandma or his wife was uh ten years younger than him and she kept him at home his uh about the last two years of his life she had him in a hospital bed uh-huh and you know the port a potty and stuff she he couldn't get up or anything but she threatened that she'd never put that man in a rest home and she never did boy that's amazing that's a lot of stress oh yeah uh she has osteoporosis i don't know how to say it anyway where their back bends and stuff and the bones deteriorate and it really did a toll on her lifting him and stuff but she uh-huh hm she would have died before she let anyone put him in there in a rest home amazing but when my grand when my one grandma that did go in the rest home we found a really nice one the you know we'd go visit every night uh-huh every night wow that's dedicated and she only well she was only there for about a month and she was really bad we you know we knew it was coming oh i see and i you know we felt really bad for putting her there and stuff she was unconscious and so i don't know a lot of people say she didn't even know she was there but still it was nice to be with her and stuff yeah it's a tough emotional uh issue well nowadays the expense is going so crazy i mean some people they need it but they can't afford it and those are the families i feel so bad for yep yeah that's tough you could lose your whole retirement or whatever just uh-huh taking and you know nowadays a lot of kids are taking care of their parents you know because they can't afford a rest home or whatever and that does a double toll on the kids uh-huh i don't know if i could ever put my parents in a rest home but i don't know how we would afford it either i remember one time i was uh i was in a Mexican restaurant here in Seattle uh-huh and uh i i was sitting alone in this booth reading and eating and i overheard some folks in the next booth who i think some of them worked at the restaurant they were a little younger than me and they were talking about the differences between i don't know whether they were from Mexico or or but they were you know definitely Latin American uh-huh uh-huh they were talking about the differences between uh how uh our country cares for old people and what it was like back home and they were just appalled that anybody could put somebody in a you know in a rest home oh really yeah they weren't course they weren't talking about uh where you know you're absolutely unable to care for them but it was it you know they would come from large extended families right where you know the the old people were uh were at home living all together weren't they yeah and uh most people don't want to live that way today in this country yeah i don't even know if i can handle living with my parents let alone three generations yeah God yeah i don't know i and i've been single so long i don't even know if i could handle living with a wife that is a challenge i'm probably incorrigible you know that and you know a lot of people say it's good for the elderly because they can be with you know people with their same interest and their same age and stuff but i don't know i i would never want to be in a rest home yeah uh-huh i really don't think i'd want to well my grandma's in a retirement community now and uh seems to like it there a lot and stays really active and does she have a home or an apartment now okay well let's see i see i'm gonna i'm gonna be guilty of not being able to say a whole lot about this i'm not real i don't have a budget uh what i basically am a do is i i have a a job which which i which makes more money than i need to to work with uh-huh and so the money i have left over is pretty much put into investments okay so i'm real guilty of uh of not really doing a whole lot of planning as to how i'm going to set things aside it just it either goes into investment or it goes into things that i want or it goes or it goes uh goes into the bills you know one or the other i just keep a balance on the checking book and that's it uh-huh right okay well that's good position to be in i guess if you don't have to worry about budgeting that what's left over goes to investments so you don't you don't then actually plan that this month i'm gonna invest five hundred or five thousand or whatever it might be well the one thing i've always done is i've put uh uh on my on my uh from when i started even since since the very beginning i always said that i would put five hundred dollars aside every month uh-huh so you always put aside at least five hundred dollars okay well i guess that's sort of a budget then at least partial right and right oh it it is a budget i mean i certainly consider it to be a budget but i was just under the idea that uh yeah i knew i could i would be able to do that and that uh you you have to be uh responsible for your own um-hum uh retirement and welfare and so i said okay this you know i i can do this so i will do that you know so it early you know when i first started in that you know quite a few years ago i said i i know that i will always be able to afford this right um-hum and i said that well you know if i if i start making a significant more amount of money i i would put more into it um-hum sure sure and make a new budget but i've uh it's cost of living has gone up in in with respect to my salary or better so i've actually probably making less money than i was when i started right um-hum okay so although i have not changed i have not changed that number even though you know cost of living has made it equivalently less right right sure well i think that's true of all of us the um well my wife and i both work and we do plan yeah right um-hum uh we try to plan major purchases and we have agreed that we don't spend over a hundred dollars on anything without talking with the other one so i wouldn't just go out and buy a well that you know a i don't know a new computer uh without well certainly certainly your in a family situation you you'd expect a little bit more uh uh you more structured and well that's true that's true uh certainly when you're single you don't have to worry about consulting with someone else and uh that type of thing yeah right i just kind of consult with uh uh me myself and i you know uh-huh sure sure you have a committee meeting of all yourself me myself and i okay right that's right uh yeah i see so that makes that makes it a lot that makes it of course a lot easier um and i've always been fairly conscientious i've never really uh-huh i i don't buy anything really on a whim i do buy things okay that that i want even though i may not they may not be something that i really need but i always find the best price for it and i look around for a long time and and let it let myself get past that that initial state um-hum sure so you're careful rather than just extravagant and just grab anything that happens to meet your fancy right right you know i i i don't just sit there oh i like that i got to get it no i i say now give myself a little time to sit there and say do i really want it and if i really want it then i try to look for a good price for it right right sure sure and then i buy it okay well we do that same kind of planning in that if we're going to get something you know whatever it may be and we're comfortable and have most the things we need or want the but i do we'd you know certainly shop around before buying the new computer or the new VCR or something even once we had planned that that's what we were going to get we wouldn't just go read the ad in the paper and run right down and buy it or something even if we'd planned to get the thing um-hum right my i've always you know that's what what an accusation that an awful lot of people make towards our been about ten years since i graduated from high school i got a GED i was a drop out up until that point uh-huh and uh as my memory serves me school was not that um didn't achieve it's goals as being an educational institution very well and i would suppose that the trend in government is for things to get worse kind of like uh chaos and regular deterioration so i don't not having seen anything to change my mind i would assume it's gotten worse in the meantime yeah i graduated about the same time you did and um i graduated early only and i was lucky because i don't think i would have graduated at all i was skipping and everything yeah up to that point and i just happened to have enough credit hours so i could get out yeah i had really reached the point where i'd quit going entirely i was tired of it was off working somewhere um-hum there was almost no challenge to it at all i was on the college track doing all the classes and i was done uh um it was boring they weren't interested yeah i had started in that uh that track but just got sick of it and turned into a juvenile delinquent instead um-hum went off and joined the military and then uh came back to college it just the material was so repetitive it was stuff we already seen probably half a who knows how many times before and it was just presented so dryly and i suppose that if um if you're going to pay teachers the salary that they're paid that's that's the level of education that's going to be presented that's true we have to pay our teachers more and give them more incentive to interest the children yeah um yeah i really i really believe the same thing i mean here i am now just now finishing up college it took me that long to get interested to go back um you know and but i find college a whole different ball game yeah absolutely it's a stress test it is but it's so stimulating i mean those teachers really are at least mine of course i'm in nursing so um ours is a lot of life threatening but um i it it isn't i i don't miss classes i love it yeah yeah i agree it's a whole another class of everything the level of education the uh excitement and the the interesting instructors their level of understanding the material everything's different maybe we ought to um offer this kind of enrichment to our high school students now how would you recommend doing that well if somehow we could make give them a certain amount of independence cause that's part of college yeah right um and then simply say this is up to you to achieve this sounds a lot like the um what do they call let's see uh fire fox Foxfire method i haven't heard about that that's the one where uh some guy it's here in Georgia north Georgia several years ago ten twenty years ago walked into a class room and they the students retained command and he just kind of threw up his hands and said basically do what you want to do and developed this uh program where the students pretty much did what they wanted to do the teacher was just there to kindly loosely kind of loosely guide them um along and to make sure that they weren't getting um-hum getting off into weird senseless subject areas and stuff like that and i think there was some kind of sociology class along the lines of um um-hum what did they do they went out and collected stories and culture of the area in southern Appalachian uh mountains um-hum and published a bunch of books and the guy's real famous now and in fact i just read recently that some school here in north Georgia decided to completely um adopt the Foxfire method all the classes are that way oh really and they say that the results are just tremendous it's a whole another um magnitude of improvement over regular public schools see and that and it works yeah i wish there had been something like that years ago when we were younger me too i wish they had computers yeah they've made a an amazing change i think i think elementary school is educational is stimulating for children and i think we lose them somewhere between junior high and high school a friend here in town just recently helped a um third grader with his science fair project and he was describing some of the interaction um-hum uh between the the teachers there and the students and the teachers there and himself and other people like him um-hum and was really disturbed with the uh mentality of the people there they treated him like uh he was one of the kids you know they had their little domain um i remember he brought up a story about how he needed a desk to set up the uh the science fair project that he and this other guy worked on and they couldn't find one anywhere and they found one in a room and the instructor there was really possessive of it and wouldn't let him use it oh you're kidding yeah well then that goes to maybe not having the funds for things shall um actually actually i've had i've had very good luck on consumer products lately um-hum um you know just about i've i've uh gotten recently it's been a new mother board for my computer and that's working fine uh a new motherboard yeah okay because my my other one bit the dust after after a power failure yeah so i i got a you know a very inexpensive motherboard from someone in California very happy we were very fast uh-huh other other than i'm i'm in house conservation buying anything oh yeah how about you i'm not buying much in terms of consumer products these days uh i prefer to travel rather than buy things so yeah i i hear you there the i i guess you know given a choice most people are kind of holding off on uh right getting anything um i'm trying to think back in mind if there's ever been anything anything i got you know the the things i've been most disappointed with is that when you go those time share gimmicks exactly yes and and you get you get like the the quality luggage which is like yes you too can have vinyl you know wallet um right or from the sidewalk vendors that are supposed to be the real thing right you know i i find there's that you just have to be really careful because like especially if you watch TV there's like all such of scams going on where you know like uh you you really have to listen to what they're selling you i mean there's a lot of things like um oh God you you like you know yes you can get whole sacks of beef you know delivered fresh to you if you buy our thousand dollar refrigerator uh-huh or um you know all all these multilevel marketing things all of the well have you noticed even the the newspaper coupons do that they they're tying them in now you know right you can get fifty five cent off if you buy two and something else right and not anything that you want right so i mean if you use the coupon you're just falling for the gimmick and there you are like you know we've i'm getting married this summer and we're going to like wedding expos and things to get fashion and half the thing's like yes we'll give you a free makeover we're Mary Kay cosmetics and uh-huh you know once your name on you our mailing list you know you're damned for life because oh that's right that's right or or you you know or all these little i really think multilevel marketing is undermining the quality quality of American business because people getting so focused on the progress other than the products uh-huh you know it's it's like well you know i could get two hundred distributors on to me each selling one dollar a week and i'll be rich but yeah oh all those pyramid schemes yeah that's what multilevel yeah you know Amway and uh Al Williams insurance which i guess is Primerica now and right and even somewhat is Mary Kay you know she's a local girl Mary Kay you know they they're something yeah oh do oh we we have Dallas to blame for Mary Kay yeah i'm afraid so sorry but yeah i i i find that you know the place where uh i i think the the the one one place were we uh you know consumer price i did fairly well i was leading electronics industry yeah except that i was with a friend yesterday we had his Macintosh um-hum and he had taken it back to the store for repair yeah and the vendors are not living up to the contracts that they get with you for so i mean this is a this is an expensive piece of equipment too expensive in my opinion but yeah well whatever but it's what he wants because he's an animator right and he's using all of those tools and he's having a really difficult time with the hardware and the vendor that he bought it from gave it back to him yesterday charged him forty five dollars and told him that it was a software problem oh no not that oh yeah oh actually actually you know it it's like i have yeah i've i've got a VCR and recently it kind of just capped out on me um-hum and you know i typically when your VCR breaks what you have to do you have to like give it to these guys for weeks right and then eventually they'll get get it back to you but i happen to know this guy who i met met recently he just like took it down to his basement popped off the cover you know took a couple of things off so okay this is just junked up cleaned it out it's working fine didn't charge me anything oh you know i think that the service the really where the American consumer products uh kind of failing is is in the customer service oh exactly and and you know there was no reason that Mike should have had to pay forty five dollars for somebody to run a diagnostic that he had already run and he already knew that it wasn't a software problem right i i mean the best example i guess i guess there's some really it's not um uh the the chain the some really luxurious uh department uh department store in in Texas i you know actually in this modern day and age it seems like uh uh we have more and more leisure time because uh we have so many uh convenience appliances and whatnot and we don't even have to cook dinner anymore uh yeah really but i uh i've heard i don't know this for a fact but i've heard that a lot of families really don't spend a great deal of time together that kids the kids maybe on the average get uh something like thirty seconds of quality time with the parents that's what i've heard too uh it seems bizarre to me i don't quite understand it although i think probably the the worst thing that's happening in the world at least the modern world today is television yeah not so much because uh it's bad per se although there is some pretty crappy programming and i think there's also some uh i think um poorer lifestyles illustrated but simply because it dominates so much discussionary time right it's so darned easy to turn the thing on i know it i've i've found myself sometimes just sit down after work and so i refuse to have one in the house yeah oh really well good for you good for you a lot of people i've talk to a lot of people about that and i've thought about it myself and i thought about it a lot um but uh i still haven't done it yet well that's good well i'll tell you television sure makes child rearing easy on you i mean the kids can be a real pest uh and turning the TV on is almost like magic you know it's uh like sticking uh an electrode into their pleasure center and you don't have to worry about them that's true i've noticed that but i don't think it's too good i don't think so either um so you know i don't know i take advantage i don't have a great deal of time to spend with the kids but i take advantage of um dinner time we always eat together and you know whenever you're with your kids you wanna interact with them rather than just ignore them do you keep your kids uh active in sports or anything or uh i guess our big outlet is music um our thirteen year old son plays violin and our nine year old daughter plays cello oh okay and uh when our son started playing violin i took up violin and when our daughter started playing cello i took up cello so there's plenty of okay plenty of interactive time in uh practicing although neither kid likes to practice i guess that's not a big surprise no not for kids but i mean i imagine with infants you are most of your time is sort of spent taking care of them rather than interacting with them yeah well i i i try and read to them and although you and i take them to the park and stuff and oh you know reading is so good yeah i uh i took great pleasure in reading to my kids when they were little and i still try to read to them although our son is not liking that anymore yeah well they get to this stage uh but i read you know there's this Doctor Seuss sleep book have you ever seen that yet sleep book no yeah it's called a sleep book and uh you ought to get it i tell you i read that book to my kids so many times i almost have the thing memorized uh we've got a quite a few of Doctor Seuss's books and yeah well i think i think his sleep book is my favorite oh really um-hum well yeah i like to i like to do it and they enjoy reading and i've actually i never read a lot growing up and i never read until a few years ago i just started picking up books and so it i've found that you know it's really important to me to get to read to i like to get away in a book you know um-hum um-hum and so i've put a lot more emphasis on that on my kids um-hum to try so how much time do you think you spend with your kids on the average per each day oh i probably spend an hour or two oh that's great my wife works at night so she does uh Tupperware so she's gone a lot at nights and so i spend a lot of time with them oh i see so how old are your kids again they're two and one two and one um-hum yeah so you have your hands full with them that's for sure yeah so um how do you feel about the crime in your city is it uh well um Minneapolis isn't too bad um i know that there's been some increases in crime lately in terms of murders um um-hum that's kind of gone up in scale and and some other things um i personally had a little experience the other day uh somebody broke my passenger window and stole a uniform out of my truck oh really but actually you know when you look at at Minneapolis as compared to where i used to live it's really quite a bit better um because i came from Florida uh-huh and in Orlando there's crime is getting to be a bigger problem than ever oh yeah um San Jose California so what part of California are you from oh really i have a good friend there here you know the real problems are the gangs a lot of gang related a lot of murders um just in general the whole we've only been here a couple of years uh before that we lived in Colorado but in comparison to Colorado it's real noticeable yeah oh yeah um-hum i mean you can just feel i mean i can just sense i mean i won't even i won't go to the grocery store at night yeah yeah that's you know and it it's that kind of thing and uh that's really a shame when it has to constrain your activities like yeah we have a neighborhood watch program in the house um the development that we live in which i think is a great way to reduce um home theft burglary and things of that sort do you have that where you live or sure well um interestingly enough right before i moved up here i'm an intern and then i go back down in May um-hum um but in Orlando before i moved up we had a real problem with it um we've been broken into in my apartment about four times oh no in like two and a half weeks and one of the things that i i helped organize was a neighborhood watch type situation down there um um-hum because they were just it's one of those things where the new thing is that they operate in the daylight because everybody went to work you know and then the houses were left unguarded um-hum um but yeah i think given that people are pretty conscientious about it that's a good way to to work it with a neighborhood watch yeah well you know um also i've heard that uh the newest thing is a lot of people are specializing in robbing people during the time they're home oh is that right like on the weekends a high percentage of uh free time i think it's like fifty percent of most people's free time is uh spent doing yard work oh outdoors so they wait while you're outsides outdoors they know the house is unlocked and then they just slip in that's amazing slip in slip out you know they know exactly what they're going for so i've heard that's really on the rise as far as um you know a new type of crime yeah huh yeah it almost seems like they're getting quite a bit smarter really you know yeah unfortunately yes yeah unfortunately it's starting to really you know look at people's habits and where they are at particular points of the day um-hum yeah like one of the guys i work with really laughs when he looks at Minneapolis because he's from Detroit uh-huh and uh the the crime level there of course is quite a bit quite a bit uh more pronounced um-hum um but uh yeah i guess i mean i think we've got a neighborhood watch program here in Minneapolis i'm not real sure uh yeah it helps to know your neighbors you know they give you you're supposed to make lists of um cars like i know a lot of my neighbors right around my development if i see a car that's unfamiliar we we have a list is that what you you did in your program where you have a list of license plates yeah pretty much yeah i was i was basically involved in that in the organization of it and then i left right in the middle of it i'm not sure where we went from there but um-hum oh uh-huh yeah well yeah that that whole thing of being alert and kind of noticing your surroundings noticing people who look suspicious uh activities like that sure um-hum i mean you you hate to be paranoid but there are really only so many things you can do you can have the house alarm um neighborhood watch program yeah you know uh as a woman not go out at night um you can do that which is what i choose to do yeah yeah one of the frustrating things about that is that you really are limited even even if you know that the threat is there it's against the law to set traps yeah um-hum it's against the law to do a lot of things you know they could basically um when i was getting robbed down in Florida i was really considering electrifying doors um things like that like they did in Miami that time um-hum that's um-hum but it's not um if you kill someone in your home as long as they're in your home it's considered self-defense though that's not always true it isn't no there was a there was a case about two years ago um-hum where a guy knew he was gonna get robbed and essentially what he had done is set a a electrocution a electrocution trap um-hum for the burglar in his own home the guy came in while he was home hm and sure enough he fell into the trap and was severely burned he didn't die but he was severely burned and he took the guy to court and won a settlement really yeah so that really that makes you think you know it's like your hands are really very much tied yeah yeah well i think if if you had handgun a handgun though in other words it wasn't premeditated you had a handgun it's the middle of the night someone's downstairs um why don't you go ahead first okay um short term uh it works out pretty well because we have just enough to cover expenses with a little left over so budgeting in the short term isn't too much of an issue because there's not that much uh sure extra to go around uh long term is something we're starting to think about because our older child will be ready for college in about uh gee she's eight now so i guess about ten years good heavens um-hum so we're we're starting to think about long term considerations college and retirement but with not a whole lot of discretionary money it's kind of hard to figure out how to do it sure how about you that's kind of uh similar to what we're doing is um budgeting you know month to month is uh kind of taking into consideration what the bills are and what's extra so that's kind of how we do it uh from month to month depending on what insurance is due or whatever um-hum um long term that's a little bit easier for us because uh with uh our jobs we can take out extra money towards savings 401K plans um-hum um that kind of you know retirement plans that kind of stuff so we can kind of put aside some money that actually is better for us not to see versus when it's on the paycheck and you have to try and take out some of that money you always find something a little extra that you'd like to get that month so right uh long term probably is a little bit better than short term simply because um it's automatically taken out so uh that works out much better for us so that's kind of how we do it anyway but and the old uh if you can't see it then you can't spend it uh idea exactly exactly and if you can't touch it you can't spend it either so that kind of works out where you get into uh some plans that you know you touch it you're going to get a penalty that kind of thing so it leads you to kind of say well i'm not going to take it out i'm going to keep it and uh keep it in there and let it grow so that some way maybe for retirement you're going to have that money left let's hope anyway so you'll have that so right that's kind of how we do it but ours is more like month to month too uh short term is to get things going so any way other than that uh is kind of how we do it so i don't know if we're our time is up or what they'll let us know um-hum um they'll uh yeah exactly we we actually do have some money in a 401K i just uh-huh wish i could afford to uh put more away each week because i agree that it's a an excellent way oh definitely definitely and uh it grows uh it it seems like at first you're not gonna see a big return but as the years go on if you're with the company for any length of time then it gets much better and uh so you know you just have to kind of look at it that way and there's other savings plans or other things that you can do automatic you know deposit from checks to where you don't see it right and uh you know exactly whatever is in our checking account is basically just about what gets spent yeah it's put into our savings account and we don't see it then it works out to where you know you don't look at it you just look at the checking account and say this is what we have for money and that's it so yeah checking account's a very dangerous place for money to be i'm convinced yeah it it's easy because you do spend it that's for sure like i said you know you kind of look at it uh you you better have some other way of uh savings otherwise uh checking accounts aren't the best for you know long term type of planning so and you don't get a good return on it anyway so other yeah i guess there other than things like the stock market or mutual funds there's really not much of a return on anything these days exactly right now yeah it's a bad time you know yeah the interest is so low i mean it it's nice for people buying homes but for older people who have money in CDs or whatever it must be awfully hard to see rates go down to three and a half percent or whatever um-hum um-hum exactly exactly you know we have some in-laws uh that uh had theirs in some money market certificates and other things and uh kind of took them out of that because they got so low but uh yeah it's it drops so your better bet is to uh try to get in with something with your corporation if they have some kind of uh savings plan or something like that to where they kind of match the percentage or whatever so or some kind of profit sharing so yeah i'm i'm with a small company now and i hope that uh if we're successful that they'll go in for some sort of profit sharing that'll be very nice sure oh that's great yeah okay well i guess we're kind of running out of steam on this topic here yeah exactly what do you usually wear to work well let's see it turns out that uh Tektronix i work at Tektronix and it's a very uh low key place as far as dress goes you just wear uh let's see um-hum when i first came here i wore suits but after a while i got uh found out that that wasn't all that important i'm an engineer oh i see and uh so i get to wear just uh how shall i say it uh walking shoes as opposed to dress shoes and um-hum well walking how shall i say it kind of like Avia uh walking shoes uh well that's nice comfortable stuff yes open shirt open at the neck you know no tie and uh wow just uh reasonable looking how shall i say it uh sports clothes or well some guys wear some people even wear Levis wow that's nice now being from Philadelphia i don't expect your dress code to be quite that relaxed right well actually right now i'm a full time college student so my dress code is very very expensive yeah i usually wear jeans and stuff to classes or shorts in the summertime but over the summers i've had a job internships with the newspaper oh okay um-hum and that's so generally then i dress you know nicer usually nice summer slacks or more sometimes skirts stuff like that so then it's still you know the emphasis is on comfort a lot because it's a lot of walking and coming in out of the office but you still have to have a professional image kind of thing to go out to meet people and interview people and stuff like that so yes yeah well i uh i just recently applied for a different job in the company here and oh really so i decided well i'd wear a suit and it it was very interesting uh like i said most of the people at at this company don't wear suits uh most of the engineers and technical people are just very casual almost the same clothes that that you'd wear to school um-hum wow that must be nice atmosphere then well it has been although the new president and CEO of the company is from a much more formal eastern uh background oh and so the result is that uh so anyway i wore this suit and i went over to uh uh to one of the buildings that has a lot more of the financial people in it and it and um-hum i i was almost converted because uh the effect of that suit on the way people responded reacted and responded to me as opposed to the uh just to kind of how shall i say it they know you're there but they don't uh you don't there's no notice at all but when i wore a suit that day uh it was obvious that people didn't know whether i was a worker bee or a manager wow so people uh how shall i say it made a made much more effort to notice you acknowledge your presence say hello and uh things like that so that's interesting it's like a mini little study there that's really interesting yeah and so this dress for success thing i think is uh by and large i've i'm kind of uh convinced that uh by that just that one uh uh experience and then having talked to several other people that that uh unless you're in a an environment where they're going to make fun of of of better clothes that better clothes always pay off right hum that's interesting doesn't mean they have to be uh how shall i say it they they don't have to be the the most uh the absolute best um-hum but uh a little dressing a little bit above the standard i think would uh pay off so i'm in the process of telling my wife we got to go shopping for clothes again that's neat that's neat and uh i i don't know no i know eastern now the other thing we do here of course is a single not quite a single climate we have uh we do have some snow in the wintertime and it can be quite warm in the summertime not hot like uh i lived in the midwest for a while um-hum oh and i know that uh you know it can be freezing cold in the wintertime and and hot and uh sticky in the summertime um-hum we don't have that much it's uh it's a very mild climate oh well that's nice that's good for the clothes budget i would imagine because here yes it it is gosh we had uh the winter hasn't been bad this winter it's it it's only snowed maybe once or twice but it's been cold low twenties let's say and then the summer gets up to eighties nineties so no you start okay what are the benefits well i i mean i don't even consider like salary a real benefit it just it's kind of a like a side thing i'm really here for you know working with lots of creative people is what i really like about my job um-hum well i think that i'm self-employed and work in radio and uh for me really i don't have to be terribly concerned about uh benefits outside because i own my own company but uh the worst problem that i think uh out here is affecting people and i think would be the most positive job benefit is job security these days that's true yeah yeah you don't you don't want to have worry about it you know if if you're worried you don't work as well yeah it's well it it's a real problem out here because uh you know it's hard to imagine that you know ten years ago i can remember where we really you know somebody would work for a local company here like Kodak or Xerox which are based here and uh they'd have that job for life and you really didn't have to worry too much about that but ever since this Reagan Bush thing i know every single time there's you know the the first thing they do is they fire employees whenever there's a problem with the uh uh economy economy and clear out the employees and we're losing more and more jobs and uh and it just gets worse then people don't don't spend any money yeah it's it's a real that's probably the biggest thing that i think people are looking for i uh put some things up in the Comp Dcom Telecom thing regularly about uh job security with the uh AT&T employees and right yeah i just i just noticed that yeah the Communication Workers of America and i'm watching as that progresses more and more and it seems to me that we're seeing a real problem with job security being the number one focus it's no longer a question of salary or or perks it it's just basic security to have that job yeah i know i know exactly how you feel but i i also don't know you know how how can we get people to change it i mean it it kind of it kind of requires you know a company taking a risk and they don't want to do that well i in well i think maybe some incentives on the part of the government to retain employees uh versus downsizing really why we're seeing that kind of downsizing is because of the uh increasing power of shareholders in the corporations of the country that's true whenever there's a uh problem with uh the economy or the stock value you know the first thing the stockholders want to see is well decrease costs which means cut employees i know i mean our CEO is is you know quite frankly stated that you know we're we're here to make stockholders happy and that's not why i'm working here yeah California is really starting to feel the effects i think of the uh downturn oh definitely you know you guys have been pretty insulated uh for some of the past ones it it hasn't hit as bad as it has out in the northeast here Rochester's luckily is a technology moving city i mean we have a lot of telecommunications and the like out here but right Buffalo and Pittsburgh and cities around here that were into mechanical and engineering and things like that steel mills they're all gone they're all in Mexico now yeah we're we're just kind of like losing and it it just seems to be a snowball effect i mean you know we keep losing more well Cupertino seems to be one of the every single software company ever sees always sees Cupertino you know so you guys at least don't have those kinds of you know the only problem software seems to be still a US strength versus hardware right and it but you know the again in the future we're going to see the same type of thing even in more white collar work where we're going to have job security i think being the biggest focus yeah it's things things aren't that secure in software right now either i think it's it's kind of a cutthroat i'm also a i'm also a hardware manufacturer i'm at Apple so it's like you know we we notice our product just becoming a commodity and that's really bad well i heard Apple was remaking themselves into a consumer electronics company we're trying and if it works that's that'd be great for us but what about you know the rest of the industry yeah well the hardware you know HDTV if we can keep control of that that looks like something that we could have good strengths on and there would be a lot of new jobs created yeah although although we we go on that subject i i because i looked at HDTV uh but i i don't like standards that are on it's still still on a fixed resolution which means it'll be eventually outdated also um-hum well we i'm a home satellite dish owner and we have these arguments all the time about standards because of the video cipher of the scrambling system um-hum in place and there's two separate arguments over whether we want should have an industry standard which many people can build equipment towards or whether we want to have a uh system where everybody's separate yeah it's it's a real serious serious problem in a situation of i uh try to stay away from cars as much as possible in terms of repair actually uh that is really a sore spot with me i i think perhaps the automotive industry is improving but uh like ten years ago um the reliability of automobiles at least US automobiles was pretty dismal and not only that but the uh repair capability of uh service departments and dealerships was equally dismal and uh it seemed that the only way i could reliably take care of my car was to repair it myself which is not my cup of tea um-hum yeah but uh i so do you have a car pardon do you have a car well at that time actually i had a Volkswagen Rabbit um-hum and um it was it it was a real lemon uh subsequently i got a uh Buick Century and it wasn't as bad um-hum but uh last year i bought a Honda Accord and i take it in once every seventy five hundred miles for its periodic maintenance and that is it and it's wonderful and yeah we used to have a Honda Accord and they're good they're really good cars every time i get taken to an auto repair place you know every time i go i get taken bad you know woman goes in and they go all right we got a sucker hm let's get how see how much money we can get out of her you know that's what happens every time um so hm hm so what do you what do you have i have a Pontiac six thousand all the more reason to uh have a a Honda yep but our Honda just got old and just wore out it was eleven let's see eleven years old and it just just out of it so so so you bought a Pontiac no uh-huh my husband uh um ex-husband's this this just happened couple of weeks ago he's my ex-husband but just a few months ago when he was my husband um his father gave us this car and everything is wrong with it i mean the power steering fluid leaks the oil leaks the brake fluid leaks you know now this what how old is the car um eighty seven and he just doesn't take care of things and but i was awarded the car so there is a man in my church that is a mechanic and i can trust him hm so he's trying to get you know things fixed on it but it's just you know leak leak leak everywhere but um hm you know i hate to go into a a repair place because they'll tell me something's wrong with it and it's not you know and charge me twice as much the last time i took it into a repair shop the man told me i needed a master cylinder so i said okay and he charged me a hundred and thirty something dollars and then um about a month later a man was looking at my car and he asked me you know not a man not a repair man but just a friend and i was telling him that i just had a new master cylinder put on and he said looked at and he said that's not a new master cylinder hm and i didn't even know what one was and um he showed it to me and it was old rusty just awful it was no more new than nothing so apparently it was the same one that was on there oh more than likely oh we just uh refilled refilled uh probably filled the the brake fluid up and that was it that was it probably it was very i was so irritated and that's happened to me more than once or twice just just just about every time i've went in somewhere so what's the solution to that i guess find a reputable service and and you just i can't hardly find one you know hm the guy that's doing most of my my car now um goes to my church and that's the only reason you know i go to him um-hum because i know him and i know he will tell me the truth because he doesn't even charge me for for doing it so he's not gonna you know hm take me yeah i just pay for the parts and he does it so right well that's wonderful yeah yeah i am so you're lucky i don't know i don't know what the solution to that is because the place where you buy your car they're usually the worst one of all we took our Honda to the Honda dealership and they ended up telling us we needed a brand new engine for our car oh really yeah and so idiots as we were neither one of us knew much about cars we you know they told us we just had to have one and we bought one we didn't no more need no new engine give me a break you know so it was it was not good hm and um well uh my opinion on taxation well could being in New York state where taxes are high and services are low hm i guess i'd have to say i don't think we're getting our money's worth as far as uh the tax system is concerned i think a lot of it is going to waste on uh services services that aren't necessary and uh out-of-date ideas that just don't make sense anymore in these times yeah i i have to agree i'm uh right now i'm in Atlanta in Atlanta but i grew up and am from uh Utica New York so uh i understand and i agree with the uh New York situation situation hm yeah it's as a matter of fact they recently in our county here our state sales tax has been seven percent right pretty much forever well they've just decided now when our county where i am is looking at upping the tax rate to eight percent to try and close a deficit uh that they've found in the county budget here and uh right you know between the increases in the sales tax and of course we have the high state tax right now we have to look into the possibility of you know it if it isn't from the Bush administration with user fees it's more direct taxation right i don't know what the taxes are like down in Georgia well it's um it's kind of tough to tell i haven't really got no good feel for it yet the um i've been down here for only like six months so it um they're not i don't think they're quite as bad as they are in New York state i guess is my opinion right now um there is like there are there's a tax on food here which is you know a little bit different because they don't have that up there and and other than that right now they're starting to realize that their taxes are low but they also realize that they still have to make sure their roads are paved and so on so they're starting to talk about um raising like instead of registering or uh getting your license which costs five dollars now they decide to well maybe we should charge forty dollars for it well they just did that up here too it Mario Mario raised it right up here um considerably and you know we've had our road road road taxes and gas tax the gas tax was such a Utica boondoggle being from Utica you probably yeah um remember when they put that into effect and how that was going to save our roads and what it did is it all went to New York City to refurbish that subway disaster yeah that would right of course of course no that seems like we're in from New York state i guess you're you're pretty much your main concern is yes you sit there and to allow um you know taxes like crazy and all you do is see all the money go in a big funnel towards New York City well yeah it's you you know roads this year have been especially bad they um here in Rochester they've now because to save tax money and that they have turned off the expressway lights at night oh yeah um-hum yeah they've been talking about doing that here too but they haven't they've almost been able to push it through but people started complaining and well they just shoved it through here and you know to hell with people and uh put it into effect and then suddenly of course you know ever since every day in the newspaper here it's yeah people complaining you know well it was only saving two hundred and fifty thousand dollars a year it's just we're paying good tax money for this and yeah they turned it off yet they're still giving money to all these bizarre things in New York City the roads aren't any better here right right and uh even the town here where i am in um the taxes have increased again i mean they just can't push property taxes any higher that's why they're looking at this sales tax business now yeah yeah that's down here they're um that i'm amazed at the one cheap thing down here is gas i'm not sure what the price is up there but that down here it's only like eighty nine cents per per gallon oh that's not moving you know that Mario up here is we're i just filled up tonight it was a dollar it's a dollar fifteen nine a gallon yeah i was home over at Christmas break and it was i saw the gas prices and it was like boy what a switch well you know we also have a somewhat of a monopoly here of the gas suppliers you know anywhere else in the state it's uh probably a nickel less but they say it's going to increase around the summer time to a dollar twenty five up here yeah oh sure yeah which is insane yep well as soon as they get near Memorial Day people start traveling and everyone knows it so we've got to raise the gas prices yeah so oh well it's it's it's interesting topic coming two days from tax day yes i know i and i just i actually had filed earlier and i got my refund tonight actually small but small but uh i got it back anyway yeah we're we're just sitting down tonight to get ours filled out we're going to do it we're going to do it and we're going to get we were doing software to do it and then you know put off put it off put it off oh oh yeah yep now tonight being two days left yeah well it's pretty pretty frustrating when you see the whole situation it doesn't seem as though okay i'm ready if you are okay um where uh where do you stand uh well i think that people should be allowed to have them especially if they go hunting which my son goes hunting he goes deer hunting he goes duck hunting on oh you uh he's read books about guns since he was like probably eleven or twelve years old um-hum um-hum and i just think that uh as far as that's concerned he should be able to have them to go hunting with you know as far as just having handguns around to right right to have them i don't believe that you should have handguns around right yeah yeah yeah i agree too i um it's it's as far as uh the ban goes and everything i don't think it's possible uh to completely ban guns there's just too many well no there's too many sports people out there that that do do these things right and i yeah right i mean yeah that that's true and i mean the the technology's not that hard i mean you could make a gun you know from simple you know yeah well i suppose you could uh you know if if you really wanted a gun you could you could make one um um-hum and i think if they want one they're going to get one you know oh yeah sure that's true the bad guys are you know like i say if they want a gun they're going to find out or somehow to get one um-hum yeah yeah it's yeah i mean there's yeah there's there's no way to stop uh stop anybody from getting a gun um i think there should be more control as like uh like maybe waiting periods and things like that you know uh well i agree with you on that because i know uh in fact i had bought my son a rifle like for a Christmas present one time and for a rifle there's no waiting there wasn't anyhow now there might be now um-hum yeah but there wasn't anything for you know rifles and things like that i guess it was just handguns that there was a some kind of a waiting you know a two weeks while they checked you out or something um-hum sure yeah right but uh most of these people that's got these guns that's going around you know robbing people and shooting people um-hum yeah uh i i know my friend is uh really into guns and uh uh we have went a couple of times with him to gun shows you know they come through town and everything and i mean they just have i mean they have anything you'd want i mean you know you know uh you know anywhere from rifles and semiautomatic weapons and um-hum um-hum and there's i mean there's nothing you can just go buy one and take it home and you know it's easier than getting uh like a video membership card at you know a video store yeah i i see now i know they were having a gun show uh about a month ago and i was just wondering how that did work if somebody wanted to buy a gun at a gun show uh yeah yeah you just go and uh buy the gun and uh there's no restriction though you don't have to wait or nothing then huh no well except for the the pistols and i i'm not sure how they do that i know they used yeah i was just curious you know because uh i know at at the regular gun show you know gun shop that you that you do have to wait for pistols like a couple of weeks and then they check you out then they call you up and you have go pick it up um-hum um-hum right yeah i think that's which i think they have to do on rifles and things now too i think there is something something like that anyhow here out here in California i think there is now but um-hum yeah yeah i'm not sure i'm not really sure but what uh the the gun laws in uh Pennsylvania Pennsylvania are like um-hum no we don't have guns because we don't go hunting or anything like that but like i say my son he's no um-hum he's always had a like a i think his first little rifle we got him was like he twelve or thirteen years old um-hum but he's always he went to the to the school to learn how to shoot it he goes to the pistol range and uh and the rifle range to shoot them he likes to go to that uh shotgun thing where you shoot at those um oh yeah the skeets you mean yeah right he likes to do that you know but uh um-hum yeah i don't know i think they should try to control it and everything you know but as far as just banning it completely there that's not going to happen i don't yeah i don't i don't think it can happen either it i just don't i don't see and i i think uh hadn't thought about this before but if you do that if they would uh um-hum uh decide to ban guns it would just open up a a market you know a black market for them yeah right right and so you know they they would just all the profits would go to you know now i do believe though like in California if a little kid gets a hold of a gun that someone has i think they're liable now for it yeah oh the they can be you know put in jail and everything the whoever owned the gun oh the owner's responsibility yeah you know now when they have kids around you'd think that they would be locking them up or you know yeah yeah yeah that's that's true um you know i had i had a friend who was a uh a policeman in a in a in a local borough just a small uh one of the little neighborhoods you know one of the small towns uh near Pittsburgh and uh she said that uh um-hum you know he used to always keep his guns locked up and everything like that but i mean you know you're you know people make you know they forget or you know you know kids get in the way kids the way kids are you know i mean they can you know well they can get into almost anything anymore right yeah think is wrong with the public school system is that i think we've lately in the last twenty years or so kind of lost focus with the basics uh in order to go into this sort of specialized curriculum where uh we're teaching kids not a broad base of subjects but rather trying to concentrate them on particular subject areas that they think they might be interested in going into a career uh about and the problem comes about if these people aren't well rounded students or graduates that that sort of traps them in the field that they've spent all this time being educated in i think there's something to that yeah yeah i tend to agree uh well i remember now it's been quite a few years since my kids were in high school i'm getting that old but uh i remember uh being a little surprised at the uh the catalog of courses like instead of taking a survey course on American Literature you had you chose from uh it almost looked like a college catalog uh-huh and uh the courses were too specialized as you said and you just read you know they they take a whole semester long course on uh on one writer or something uh that's fine for college but it seems kind of silly for high school yeah that's it's i'm only twenty four years old so i've was through a lot of that uh although you'd be about the same age as my sons yeah well in my luckily up here the school system up here was intelligent enough that they didn't want to get that focused and they drilled into our heads and the same thing with the college that i went to to get as broad of an education as possible so that you're down with the basics and then once you know what you want to do then try and uh get some specific courses but i remember one of the things that they were always drilling into us was the need to learn how to communicate effectively through writing um uh-huh and i i constantly come up against some of the writings being involved in uh computers and the like where i see other people writing and it's embarrassing you know it's some of these things that and i've seen papers that in sixth grade i wouldn't have had returned uh to me which are getting A's in college today the standards have really fallen uh-huh yeah yeah i taught college for awhile not recently but uh yeah i remember i i was quite surprised at uh i mean you start rejecting things on that basis you end up handing uh everybody's papers back that's probably what we should have done huh yeah it it the only way that i ever you know i i took Comp journalism as a major and uh the writing they what they would do is they would focus in on our particular problems well on the college level course and uh uh-huh uh would then work with us as far as fixing those things i had a problem with uh writing excessive verbiage uh-huh uh in my writing and i they taught me basically how to pair it down a little bit and i i don't see that in a broader you know even in a public school uh situation because a lot of the teachers have these large classes that they can't devote the individual attention to each student that they may have twenty or thirty years ago uh-huh yeah i suppose i guess the class sizes are bigger now i guess they must be i remember large group in certain uh courses mainly Political Science we'd have lectures where there'd be three hundred students uh-huh and if you had a question you know or or didn't understand it at all of course you're not going to raise your hand in a three hundred group no thing and say i don't know what you're talking about they're going to just keep their mouth shut right they need smaller discussion and i think you know it's those kinds of things that i i'm not sure how we go about fixing something like that other than maybe devoting some more uh uh resources into first of all getting uh the uh teachers reasonable salaries and uh expecting in return some sort of standard standard and uh you know some proof that what they're doing is actually worth what we want to pay them yeah and then try and get maybe more involvement with the parents a lot of parents expect the schools to just take care of their kids and uh you know you you it's your job not mine uh-huh well i've been reading about some successful school systems and it does seem that parental involvement is the is the common uh factor and everybody's doing anything that works these days so that's probably uh one of the big keys well how are the schools down in your area these days well actually they're pretty good uh i i used to live in Wisconsin i only moved to Texas about four years ago but uh okay what do you think about our politicians oh my i i wish there was a way to to pick uh people who weren't um i i think politics you have to be real interested in power yeah i do too uh of course and and power corrupts yeah you're right so i just uh i think all politicians are really a bunch of crooks i shouldn't say that but i bet you that ninety five percent of them are they're all just for themselves mostly well i i do believe there are people that are truly concerned about um society and making a better a better world and go in it um-hum for honest uh reasons and honest maybe wanting to improve improve the community or country or whatever um-hum um-hum but um to get elected you have to um sell your soul it seems like to yeah really and then it seems like they bring out all the dirt that they can bring out about a person you know stuff oh stuff that happened many years ago in their lives i think that's awful uh it it it's absolutely irrelevant uh the only thing people should be talking about are what are your ideas uh for yeah about education about health insurance about foreign affairs or whatever right right and none of this other stuff should and what are and how do you plan to implement uh programs um-hum um-hum um and you don't hear any of that no right all you hear is the bad things about them uh but um it'd be hard uh i don't know what to say really about politicians like i say i just i just can't believe too many of them at all and i read you know about them and everything about different ideas they they all seem to have something wrong with them well i really liked uh the meyer of San Francisco i used to live there and voted for him uh oh the one that just got out of Agnus uh-huh um-hum yes Agnus and for example he had a really good plan for the homeless um-hum which is a huge problem here oh i know it's all over isn't it and it just got some award a national sort of recognition as being uh a program that really looks at the roots of problems um-hum but the problem was that it wasn't quickly implemented uh or that it wasn't the band aid um-hum um-hum so it didn't look good immediately immediately um-hum it really if you go to to uh to solve root problems they take a while um-hum and i think they public wants uh quick fixes um-hum and they don't want thoughtful long-term planning and uh um-hum so we we get disgusted if it's not glitzy yeah yeah he wasn't in office very long was he four years you know oh oh well what did this uh marriage you've got now over there what did he what was he going to do that was different one of his one of his ideas was to ship them all out to another city i mean he's the police chief and was just going to you know round them all up and and and put them out on a farm or something that sounds funny doesn't it tell him to send him down here to Patterson so what do you think about Oakland's mayor oh dear i don't i don't know and i don't know i mean Oakland seems like they have an awful lot of problems there oh God we certainly do you know have you lived there long uh i last three years three and a half years uh-huh um-hum um-hum yeah i know that that should i say have a lot of in fact more mortgage and every thing this year than they they did oh it's terrible uh it's just yeah that's a whole other topic um-hum uh but i think he has been trying to um you know curve some of the you know address some of the problems um-hum um-hum um yeah and uh well what's your opinion on capital punishment well uh i uh i agree with it as long as uh as long as there's no no shadow of a doubt of guilt right i agree with that too i uh this this is probably going to be not a big debate or anything uh uh i am for capital cu punishment only for murder i mean you know i think they asked in the recording uh what in in what crimes but only um-hum if someone has murdered someone you know that's about the only thing but uh how is Georgia for uh capital punishment are they executing people or uh yeah yeah um not very often but they they do send some every now and then you know as what well needless to say Texas is uh probably the leader uh i we may have started you know capital punishment back up again and uh i think we've probably executed more people than any other state yeah um-hum um-hum but uh a case out in California what was it a week or so ago was rather interesting in how that uh they prolonged the guy that was supposed to be executed yeah and i just i can't see any real value in just letting these people live out their sentences um-hum yeah it seems a little bit ridiculous because of just the tax dollar it takes to maintain somebody that's hopelessly you know just uh violent um-hum and and uh it's doesn't make much sense how do you feel about insanity pleas i uh i i don't think it's much of a a reason for um i i don't think it's much of a reason to get somebody off a off the hook i mean like uh Jeffrey Dahlmer i i don't know i haven't followed that since you know it was on the news but uh you know i've i've heard that there might be some insanity there i don't you know i'm i'm not at all up to date on that but you know if uh something like that if it if you can get off on sanity insanity on something like that which i i believe you know there's a certain degree of insanity there but that's certainly not um-hum i don't i don't believe it's uh an excuse by any means you know well i had heard of a case out in California of someone who had murdered his parents or some sort of thing and they put him away uh in an insane asylum you know because he pleaded insanity and after he was in maybe twelve years or so they let him out he went out and he killed five more people yeah yeah i just don't so i don't think that's uh an excuse at all well i guess it's sounds rather heartless but i guess if they're that bad if they're that badly off mentally then perhaps it's just as well to to end their life um-hum yeah yeah aren't we cruel people oh i don't i don't think so i mean i just you know if i i think in Japan you know when crime gets bad they you know they take a few criminals out in the public square and they execute them and crime goes down you you you know uh so there's i think it i think it works since most people don't believe in being forced you know well i say they may say it's not a deterrent and perhaps it isn't but i guess i just feel if nothing else it's justice i know that if someone murdered a member of my family i'd want justice done and i'd want to see them punished for their crime yeah yeah yeah i i agree so i agree uh perhaps the people in the Middle East have kind of a good idea you know if you steal something they cut off your hand and and the punishment fits the crime yeah yeah uh-huh but uh yeah yeah i think that's uh not a bad idea of course there there'd be a lot of people that couldn't uh couldn't function for awhile you know until they got it through their heads that you know that was going to be enforced well this is very true you'd have to phase that one in slowly or i think or you would have use someone as an example and see how it worked a bunch of yeah but then you got to pick who it's going to be well i i was a little concerned i was going to get someone on the phone that was totally against capital punishment and in any conversation that i've had through this TI thing you know i've never met anybody that i got into a screaming argument with or even really disagreed with heavily but i thought this could be one you know it could be a very yeah yeah yeah so what do you think um well i think uh there's been significant change over the last couple of decades uh i guess i would say that one of the most um important changes seems to be um that the family the definition of family is changing a lot yeah oh yeah no doubt about it the nuclear family and just the whole downsizing approach right you know a lot of people are are are not having kids are not having kids as as early or as many right you know and that's yeah that goes hand in hand with some of the stuff that i had you know like maybe the whole emphasis on the environment and on social kind of a social awareness approach to where people are starting to think about pollution and trash a little more and uh and the ozone layer and things like that right yeah exactly it's really putting some constraints on your whole uh the whole lifestyle which is it seems to me it seems to me like um like everyone is lamenting you know the loss of the nuclear family and saying that it's going to be the downfall of America but to me um um-hum i don't know i guess that that's that's probably a pretty liberal view but i mean to me the the old um traditional nuclear family um seems to only work seems to work real well uh you know when uh husband is in charge of the family when he's working when mom's home taking care of the kids um-hum yeah and you know as soon as mom gets equal rights and she can work too then all of the sudden you know there's all these constraints on the family i mean face it it's basically yeah an old um you know religious construction so um it's it's sure yeah see to me it no i i actually i actually think um it's it's better the way it's working out i i think yeah i'm i think that when each person is is working that uh it makes for more it makes for like two dependent people yeah and two independent people who are sharing their lives rather than one person dependent on another person seems to me uh um-hum it could be i'm i'm kind of a conservative uh myself although i don't know i've got mixed views i come from a very very conservative family where there are you know it's like you mentioned you mentioned it's like you described the first time uh-huh um where the the husband's in control the wife stays home raises the family things like that however uh-huh i don't think that's a realistic approach anymore especially with the the rising cost of living and things like that there's there's almost no way you can make it with a one income family anymore yeah it just seems that way um you know regardless of the of the social impact or the the familial impact you got to think about just the pragmatic side of it in terms of how can you afford to raise however many kids one or nine exactly um with one income and it's never going to work i don't think um see i came from um a pretty conservative family too yeah but the uh thing is that it didn't work out and my parent's split up so maybe that's what yeah maybe that's what um influenced my view oh really yeah my parents yeah my parents fought like cat and dogs um they they did stay together finally and they've been married like forty years now but right right i know i know what you mean because there's there's a lot of stress in that kind of an environment where the husband's gone all day and comes home at night and like the wife is like the first thing she hits him with is all these problems you know so both sides are are under a lot of stress that way right right i don't know i was of course of course when both um parents are working the big question is you know who how how do the kids get raised exactly you know that's something my sister's having to face right now they've both got they've got working parents both of them and it's like they're always shuffling them off to day care right and you've got to ask yourself whose morals and whose values are being you know enforced on my kid exactly exactly um-hum you know they come home and start swearing like a blue streak wait a minute i didn't teach them that stuff you know one system that um is interesting that that we we may take in that we might be good might be good for us to take into consideration is um in Israel they have this you heard of that no i haven't where the kids are it's kind of like of like uh a community school i guess where you know all the kids um it's kind of like a boarding school i guess and they're but they're raised by adults who sort of act as um-hum their parents you know because i guess in Israel um you know that happens a lot too that the women are working and or in the army or something like that well um right um i don't know it seems that's kind of interesting seems to work really well and they somehow they um do it in such a way you know that they they pass on morals pretty well are you in the middle of anything uh no i'm not in the middle of anything i've just about the last thing i did about maybe oh close to a year ago now i guess i'd i helped my dad add on another bedroom on to his house so i guess that was yeah that was that was fairly large undertaking a a it's it's a bedroom and a walk-in closet and a bathroom all on one side of the house the whole thing did the framing and all oh we did it all except for the sheetrocking that was the only thing we didn't you know putting the ceiling up and things like that we don't we we weren't sure how to do that huh maybe you and i should get together because when i had my last big project i had the contractor do the framing and i did all the sheetrocking and the interior work yeah that's the exact opposite we did all put the roof up and did all the roofing and the put all the interior walls up we just didn't do any of the Sheetrock wall work and that's it because you have you know get those joints to go together and and whatever you have to put in there to get the Sheetrock to take the gaps out between the sheets and on the ceiling and all that i didn't we didn't know a thing about any of that and so yeah my wife wishes i hadn't done that it's it looked very hard to do so we figured well just i don't think we could do it and make it look professional so we left it left it to somebody who does it for a living but i think it takes about three or four times before it gets easy probably so and i'd we'd never done it so we just left it alone but that's i guess so i'm only twenty one so yeah i my my vast experience of of home home owner's knowledge is not very much so it's just what i have to do more or less around the house you know for my parents so did you you framed it in frame uh on on you framed in new square footage or was it stuff that was already uh enclosed brand new so you it was brand new we started with the the backyard and turned it into part of the house so it was and you knew how you knew how to do the framing um well my dad knew how to do most of it you know he uh-huh he had we'd gotten a couple of books and then he just started doing it i don't know he well he did all the flooring himself he put the whole the whole floor in and then i just started with the walls and the roof and started there and then we were put us like a not not necessarily a garage but just like a off the side of that after we had the house part made we just decided we'd carry the roof out a little bit farther and put a carport more or less it's not you know it's not enclosed it's just somewhere to drive another car to to park and it's do do you build on slabs down there or did you build it up off the ground uh it's off the ground on the piers uh-huh it's on about uh twenty two inch piers something like that did you had those poured or you did them yourself so uh no those are those are we did those ourselves you just put forms in the ground and fill them with concrete so yeah exactly so it's huh well the last thing i did completely myself was an outside deck which i was pretty proud of yeah those are those are we'd done i've done one i helped somebody do one of those before those are those are you know you can buy them in kits but we didn't do that way but it's yeah no i designed it from scratch and did a pretty did a pretty good job those are nice though they're pretty forgiving you know you can always tear stuff out and redo it it's a yeah yeah that is not near like building a house or anything but yeah those are nice especially when you get done you got something right you know i don't know i like them you just sit out on the on the deck and do whatever have a barbecue or yeah i've i built it two levels and with a big toy box and some benches and uh a backrest and all that stuff i'm yeah that sounds nice all done by yourself huh designed yeah we had a friend with a tractor who dug the pier holes so we could pour concrete and support it with a a nice firm four by four posts and uh yeah and then the rest of it i just did a a contractor friend helped me uh with some of the um foundation work but uh it's pretty so it was about four or five hundred square feet the same size as the addition that i just put on so yeah that's a pretty that's a good size deck yeah it's uh not that expensive i think it will cost me three dollars a square foot and uh you know it no less than that cost cost me about five hundred dollars six hundred dollars all together so yeah that's yeah that's right yeah that's good that's not bad at all you didn't have to yeah the the wood man it's it got surprising as to the fact that how much wood is you know to get to get good lumber it costs i don't know about Dallas but around even in this little town it's it's not cheap at all i was surprised yeah i'd be surprised if it wasn't uh cheaper where you are well yeah it probably comes from where you are it's probably more there yeah that that it probably does i i don't not sure but most when i drive through that area that's all i see is yeah it's nothing but woods up here down here pressure treated pressure treated lumber yards yeah yeah well i don't i haven't i mean i haven't i used to live in Dallas in Arlington actually and but that was just when i was a kid so i don't really know what the cost of living is even like in Dallas anymore but uh-huh it's i don't know we're a college town so that doesn't help us out any because we we have gas is a dollar twelve dollar twelve a gallon so that's probably about what you're paying so right East Texas huh yeah my current project is a walkway which i'm building around the house and out to the backyard to um you know digging it out and laying sand and putting uh pavers on top of that so that's a a lot easier yeah you got something going all the time well my exercise program consists of uh you know it's it's a it's an opportunity to stay alive really hm instead of wasting you know wasting my my you know the the trying to exist on the latency of my youth and the good health of my youth and it what i like to do is i like to stretch out and i like to run uh my i'm like to run get my heartbeat up i like to run about oh about two two and a half miles and then i like to work out on uh on the uh uh the Bailey Life Cycle uh Cycle machines up here at the at at the Holiday Spa and and and i i think that you know i've had a regimen now for about you know ten fifteen years of of doing that and uh and you know i kind of think it's uh it's a lot of work but i think it's uh it's the uh you know the the amount of effort that's required to uh to stay healthy you know i have a sedentary job and uh unless you do something like that you know you're going to get sick right yeah i'm i need to get i'm i'm i'm pretty bad about that i'm lazy i should i know i want i always say that i need to get running start running and i going to try and do that this summer because i never have time i i always put it off by the time i get back from classes it's late at night and i don't feel like going back over to the gym and running on the track or whatever because i i'm i'm getting a gut here i got to get get back into shape well i uh two years ago i started having trouble with my knee and uh you know i've got a you know i figured well it'll go away well i started you know i'm i've had to reduce my program reduce my program and i've gained fifteen pounds hm and so uh you know it's you you know i need to get back into swimming you know instead instead of running if i can't swim or i can't run i should be able to swim well i'm such a terrible swimmer and i i i really feel i can i can dedicate about an hour an hour and fifteen minutes for to this effort but if it gets longer than that i i it it i start not doing anything yeah and so i i got a real problem in that regard uh it do you you obviously are are not an exercise buff or else you'd be out there doing it yeah i mean it i do it i guess i'm going to do it um because i want to get in shape i'm not it's not something i really enjoy all that much although i'll i'll i'll probably i mean once i get into it and i if i if i get into better shape then it'll be it won't be as much of a a chore to me well it's it's always a chore i i mean i started doing this when i was about thirty five and now i'm fifty five yeah hm yeah and uh you know i i know that in i just know that i'm going to get blown away with some some piece of nonsense you you know some health related thing is going to blow me away that's same way i got too much weight on right now right i need to lose fifty pounds you know i need to lose at least twenty you know but uh you know it's it's just uh i'm busy i'm doing a lot of traveling and uh it it creates a problem uh you know when you're on the road what sort of uh uh what what what other programs other than say running have you have you ever done anything at all yeah i have um sit-ups or also also last summer i was doing Nautilus or last year i um belong to a club around here got kind of expensive uh to renew to renew renew they wanted another fifty dollars that was a little bit too much money but um doing a mix of Nautilus and free weights um-hum well what club what club are you with i like that i'm sorry what club were you with uh it's called oh what was it called City Sports downtown Washington huh okay so you're you're down you're downtown yeah i'm at i'm at i go to George Washington University okay yeah you're down there on you know twentieth and eighteenth and yeah F G it's uh Plaza oh well i'd uh well there's a there's a Holiday Spa down there on on K street i think something like that but uh i i go to the Holiday Spa here in Alexandria and that's pretty good but you know evening time it gets pretty busy but generally you know i can i can get in and get a program in right but uh you know i i need to i need to rededicate myself to uh to doing this and uh i got a problem uh you know ever since my knee went bad of getting back solidly into it i mean i've been doing this for fifteen twenty years yeah and you know and i'm i know i'm going to get i know it's going to bite me in the ass so i i really don't want to want to uh you know back off on it yeah it's something i it's like uh i'm young and i should get started getting into shape i don't want to at one i mean one point it's going to be too late to do it like well no when you're young you you can abuse your your all your systems and you can recover yeah uh when you get to be my age and you start abusing your systems you get blown away hm and just wind up having to kiss your ass good-bye you know and uh and so the object of the game (Sample 1) STRICKLAND: Good morning. Marsha is on her way. She called from the car phone I think. It sounded like the car phone, to let us know that she would be delayed. I would like to welcome two people who haven't been with us before. Suzanne Clewell, we're delighted to have you with us today. Suzanne, would you tell us a little bit about what you do? CLEWELL: Yes. I'm the Coordinator for Reading Language Arts with the Montgomery County Public Schools which is the suburban district surrounding Washington. We have 173 schools and 25 elementary schools. It's great to be here. STRICKLAND: And I'll skip over to another member of the committee, but for her, this is her first meeting, too, Judith Langer. I think we all know her work, if we didn't know her. Judith. LANGER: Hello. I'm delighted to be here. I have carefully read and heard about all of the things that the group has discussed up until now. I'm a Professor of Education at the University of Albany, the State University of New York. And I'm also the Director of the National Research Center on English Learning and Achievement. STRICKLAND: Her mother wrote the stances. (Laughter) KAPINUS:Dorothy, I might add also that Judith probably has more history with NAEP than just about that I know of, you know, NAEP and reading. STRICKLAND: Yes, yes. We will really turn to you as a very important resource, Judith. And we have a new member, Gloria Lopez Gutierrez. And, Gloria, tell us a little bit about yourself. GUTIERREZ: Well, I'm a bilingual teacher in the San Rafael City Schools, a small district in Marin County, actually the largest district in Marin County. I'll check what the population is there. Our student population, I don't know, but it's certainly under 10,000. I would say something like 7,000 or 8,000, a small district. I'm a third grade teacher. I'm a parent of a soon-to-be fourth grade student. STRICKLAND: Well, we all serve many roles. (Laughter) STRICKLAND: And that's the beauty of it, all the different perspectives. David, some opening remarks. MANDEL: Well, we're here and moving forward. (Laughter) MANDEL: And when I wrote a note the other day about the new text that we had and I looked at the calendar and realized that we just had met nine days before this new document was coming out, I said, well, this is a really even more hectic pace than we thought we were on, but a good one. And many thanks to Eunice and Matt for lots of hard work and for really making a big leap forward and for going from where we were in Chicago in terms of text to where we are today. And there was a real hard attempt, both to be faithful to the conversation that took place in Chicago and to capture the good ideas around the table and put them into some logical order that would be reader friendly, and also to put forward a couple of ideas about how to address the set of issues that have been around the table, but may not have been resolved. And so some of what's in front of you is a bit perspective and anticipatory about where you might be going and at least to sort of test the ground to see if we've got it recorded right or if there's a better way to do it or a different way to do it. Also, I noted that the passage of this document from our office to you in some cases was not as smooth as it might have been and including the hotel conspiring against us last night to not deliver this document to Eunice and to Dorothy among others. (Laughter) MANDEL: But I think we will struggle forward here. It's also the case that in reading over the summary of the last meetings which is under tab F, I believe, we discovered that we had such a good summary of the meeting that there are some things in the summary that haven't been yet transferred to the document. And we are prepared to tell you what those things are. That is, things that you decided that were well captured in the summary, but haven't yet all made it into the document, but that need to be. I don't know if you noticed their absence or not, but we did. And we want to correct that. In addition, you have before you here in the document a set of new text that Eunice found, searched for this past week in between writing, and a set of prospective questions that one might ask around this. And Eunice might want to say a little bit about what that is and what they are and how they came to be. And then, I would just like in closing to say that we've got a good deal of work ahead of us, even though we got a lot accomplished. We have a National Test Panel meeting coming up on Wednesday and Thursday of this week, where Dorothy will basically provide the status report to the Test Panel about where things stand and share with them this draft or something very close to it. Our objective is, I would say in the next 10 days or so to find a way to get a draft out to the public. That is to take the current draft before you and refine it. And in that time -- I know you're going to refine it based on this conversation over the next two days. But in that time, to get another draft to you to review so that the committee is clearly comfortable and ready to have its name put on the draft as a draft seeking public comments and critique. And then, that draft will be the basis for hearings in Atlanta and the public comment process that we want to begin so that when you come to Atlanta in the middle of August, you will have a range of advice from people in the reading community, people in the Board of Education community, from folks in the measurement community about the merits of the work that has been done to date. And that if we do all that well with the help and participation from all of you, we will get a lot of good advice that we can use and take advantage of. We may get some advice that we are not happy about, but that is part of the process. And you all have the good judgment to decide which advice is helpful and which may be less helpful. And we are confident that you can do that. I should also say on the comment process though, our intention is both to put up the draft on a Web site so that people have access to it that way, to make it available through e-mail to people who are on various lists, to mail it to the folks who were recommended to us to do that, and to, in fact, give it to anyone who wants it. We all know that each of you have your own networks and a collection of colleagues, teachers, and scholars in the field. And to the extent that you have those kinds of individuals whom we might otherwise miss that we sort of welcome you to provide us either e-mail addresses or regular plain old post office addresses so that we can get this out. It's the case that if anyone wants to distribute it themselves, that's fine, too. That would help the process if you could let us know basically where it's going so we can sort of track who's getting it. And we can make sure that it gets distributed in a broad range of communities. Then, we get a complete diversity of responses in the review process. LANGER: Now, David, will you please be able to tell us by e-mail when the drafts can be distributed? I assume it's too early at this point? MANDEL: Yes. I mean the notion is that, in fact, the draft that will get distributed is two drafts from this point because there will be a draft that comes out of this meeting which we want you to review. And then, based on your review, there will be a second draft. And then, Dorothy and Marsh will estimate the final call on it. And that will be what gets distributed. But as soon as that is available, we will make it available to you in both hard and electronic versions to do as you see fit. STRICKLAND: So that will be the same draft that goes for the August meeting. MANDEL: Yes. STRICKLAND: All right. So it will be prior to August 14th or whatever date it is. MANDEL: Way prior. (Laughter) STRICKLAND: Way prior, yes. Way prior. (Laughter) VOICE: Tomorrow. (Laughter) STRICKLAND: Anything else? MANDEL: No. That's our report to the conversation. And I know Wayne would be with us today, except he married off a daughter this weekend. And so he's flying back from Colorado today and joining us tomorrow. And I imagine Gary will show up at some point. Marsh called. Marsh had car problems. She's due in sooner or later. She was planning to be here on time. I talked to her yesterday. STRICKLAND: Barbara, would you like to kind of update us on anything, any thoughts that might be on your mind? You're the next person, Barbara. Surprise. (Laughter) KAPINUS: I wasn't expecting that. VOICE: But she'll make something up. (Laughter) KAPINUS: Yes. No, I really don't think that there is anything main. Are you going to talk about the Technical Committee phone call, David, in terms of an update? Or do you want me to start it? MANDEL: Good. If Steve wants to. (Laughter) KAPINUS: Steve. MANDEL: I want to give you that later. I mean, I think that the main thing on reading on the Technical Committee was that we went back to them and told them about where we were on their concern about the number of texts. And they were pleased to hear that we are now up to six. (Laughter) FERRARA: Right. MANDEL: From four. But they also said that didn't remove the general interest and concern with the question. They thought it was important to do the kind of analysis that they had originally suggested that we do. And so that will happen. And also we had a conversation with them about untimed tests where they were, I think, of two different minds. One finds it attractive and for the reasons that people generally find it attractive. That is, I guess mostly to remove the test anxiety and also to make sure that everyone has a full opportunity. And this is limited by the length of the test, the competence. But at the same time, understanding that it was one of several ways in which the comparability issues with NAEP and our interest in linking this test and providing students and their teachers with some of their results in terms of where they are on the NAEP scale could be a compromise, not the only place, but one of several places. And so they wanted us to sort of keep watching that and keep attending to it and in the course of pilot and field testing to think about possibly adding a little bunch of time and to also interview students about whether they thought they had enough time to complete. I don't know that that exactly fully addresses the concern. When this conversation was discussed in the Mathematics Committee, Wayne, amongst others but not alone, worried a lot about the sort of logistics and administrative complications that could ensue from an untimed test, to say nothing about the comparability issues. And I think it was in part a concern that given this is supposedly a voluntary test -- it is a voluntary test that this might make the examination less attractive in some quarters than in others than it might otherwise be. So I think -- is that close, Steve? FERRARA: Very close. Quite on target. (Laughter) STRICKLAND: Barbara. KAPINUS: Well, I would just add two things on the timed/untimed thing, you know. I've had some discussions with Wayne on this. Wayne weighs in pretty strongly on timed. The interesting thing is Wayne brings kind of the perspective of a state assessment director to this and all that you have to go through if you have an untimed test and the testing burden on that. So that, you know, with Marsh not here right now at least, it is interesting to kind of keep that perspective in mind because they've been through some of this. The second thing is that an Ina was on the -- MANDEL: Say -- KAPINUS: Ina Mollis was on this second conference call. And Ina is probably one of the mothers of the NAEP, if not the mother of NAEP. And one of the things that she indicated a concern about -- and it's just to keep in the back of your mind. I mean, she just said think about this. And that is if you dramatically change the length of the passages -- the length of the passages that the kids are dealing with in this assessment, the degree to which it links back to NAEP is decreased. So just -- that's something to keep in mind that what we say about what kids do on NAEP is based on certain kinds of passages. And she just sort of gave us a caveat to sort of think about that as you do that. And I know you have the range and everything, but just keep that in the back of your mind. BINKLEY: Is that arguing on her part for longer passages than we've included? KAPINUS: Well, just making sure that there are a sufficient number of long passages, too, I would say, not that you cannot have the short passages, but make sure that there is sufficient number of passages that look like the NAEP passages. I don't know. Judith, do you want to weigh in on that? LANGER: Yes. I assume that she was talking about something that I was going to mention which is that if it's going to be related to NAEP in any way, then comparable kinds of passages and obviously comparable length passages are extraordinarily desirable. And NAEP tries to have shorter and longer passages, as well. So I think that comparability should be able to hold in this. The other thing that I just wanted to mention very quickly, because again I don't know what the concern was here among the people on this panel, but NAEP had done a very interesting sub-study with the Southern Regional Education Board, SREB. I can't recall when, but it was for the writing assessment. And one of the concerns at that point is what happens if students have more time? And so in that assessment, it was a comparison of 20 minutes and 15 minutes to see if in fact the additional time made a difference. I'm mentioning this here not because it's writing, but people might have been concerned about how much time was given to the students to read and then write the extended passage. And they found that with the additional time, it made almost no difference. The students who were least able to make any additional scoring advantage with the additional time were the students who were in fact the lower scorers anyway. And the students who were the higher scorers did ever so much better. Now, this is 20 minutes to 15 minutes. It's not a very insignificant amount of time, but 20 that minutes would be sufficient time. This was -- I honestly don't know. I assume this was an eighth grade study instead of a fourth grade study. So I just think we need to take that into account, too, when we are discussing time. CHUDOWSKY: Can I just say that another concern we talked about with the Technical Group is that it's harder to standardize? Some schools, because of logistics, are just going to cut it off and send the kids onto their next class. They are not going to give the kids as much time as they need. Whereas, other sites may really take advantage of the opportunity. So it just really increases the standardization. And that was another concern. MANDEL: Yes. I would say the last, the related issue, there was a discussion about sort of both this committee's and the Math Committee's interest in having a second extended response item, even though the initial instructions were that the exam will have one. And there, the issue of comparability came up in sort of -- I won't say a positive, but in a supportive way saying that that would be the second item that would contribute to making it more comparable and that it also had a number of other positive properties that had to do with both the nature of what we expect kids to be able to do or we'll look for them to do in both reading and mathematics and that you can get at that better with those items. Barbara also made the point at the meeting. And it sticks with me. And that is the modest difference in both what kids write in between a short constructed item and extended item and what that means in terms of scoring burden which are the big issues here. And that, in fact, if you didn't have this second extended constructed item, you wouldn't have nothing, but you would have something else that would take time. And so it does not say that the issue of what this might contribute to in the overall turnaround time and the scoring burden on the whole process isn't one that needs to be looked at hard, but that there are a range of factors stacking up in favor of the second extended constructed response item in both cases. I think we got a very clear set of signals on that score and continuing encouragement for Steve's production of scenarios, multiple scenarios that would vary by number of students participating and what the implications of that would be for scoring burden and time and potential implications on the quality of scoring that could be achieved. STRICKLAND: Just one thing going back to the issue of time before you speak, Eunice. I really would like for this committee to make that decision about whether or not we want to have an untimed test or not. I think it can be something that would be researched indeed, but I would like for us to make that decision and indeed any kind of accommodations. I think we need to be very specific about what we want. And they need to be standardized for the very reasons that Naomi was addressing. MANDEL: Yes. STRICKLAND: Eunice had her hand up before. And then, Barb, we'll come back to you. GREER: I was just going to say that I wonder if a reasonable compromise would be to make sure that we conducted studies in conjunction with the pilot so that we could say fairly confidently 95 percent of the kids are finishing this test in X number of minutes. Because I understand the need for consistency, and I think that gives us some consistency, but it also says that we've paid attention to it and to our best knowledge, this is not a speeded test. STRICKLAND: A good point. Barbara. KAPINUS: Well, I would just build on that. And my suggestion was to sort of think of some sort of compromise in all of this. I mean, I don't think that we're stuck with the opposite ends of the continuum or whatever, 90 minutes versus untimed. But, you know, it could be that based on pilot information, we may expand the time, but not appreciably. But if you keep sort of a given set of exercises constant and it looks like maybe it takes another 15 minutes a day, that might be a more reasonable thing than thinking about untimed. And the other thing though that I would want to take a look at in the pilot in terms of this timing thing is whether -- I mean, I like that 95 percent number, except that what we need to do is look at whether it's particularly difficult for certain groups of students, whether it's LEP students or students with special accommodations. If that timing particularly biases against their performing well or their ability to demonstrate what they know, then I think that we would need to look at it also. So I mean more than just the 95 percent. We need to look at the special populations that are usually impacted by time. STRICKLAND: Jack. PIKULSKI: I also don't see why the pilot couldn't exactly the kind of study that Judith mentioned earlier where some of them are administered in an untimed fashion. KAPINUS: Right. PIKULSKI: And then, look at the comparability results and the kinds of students that are most affected by it. It seems to me that that's exactly the kind of data that we would need. And then, you also look at the kinds of complications that occur when you do administer it in an untimed fashion. STRICKLAND: Audrey. QUALLS: The only problem with altering some of them during tryouts for the '99, there is not enough time to go back and pull together the form. And whatever you administer, the conditions you administer that form under are going to be the ones that have to be actually used. So you're not going to be able to play with the intact form per se. You can take pieces and some separate kinds of studies. But an intact, I don't see how you could do it. PIKULSKI: But what -- there isn't enough time to have some of the kids take it in 90 minutes and other kids take it in an untimed setting the same, exact test. MANDEL: I think it's a first-year problem. CHUDOWSKY: Well, we can only do it, you're right, if we double the sample size and do it both ways. I think there are some opportunities because the field test is supposed to be a process. We're going to give a whole form to each kid. MANDEL: Yes. CHUDOWSKY: And we're trying to mimic as much as possible the operational test conditions. MANDEL: Right. CHUDOWSKY: And so Audrey is right. We have to do a whole sample 45 minutes and then a whole sample 60 minutes and see which way it works better, and then, use the data from whichever sample. STRICKLAND: Audrey, do you want to respond? And then Marilyn. QUALLS: I guess since I'm not clear yet on how large the samples we're going to give kids -- CHUDOWSKY: Yes. QUALLS: You're talking about 10 forms as is. I don't know if practically you're going to be able to double sample size, but that's all. PIKULSKI: Yes. CHUDOWSKY: There are some issues. But we're also doing a pilot test. And we might be able to collect some of that information at that time. PIKULSKI: Yes. CHUDOWSKY: And, you know, I think we can figure out ways to look at that question to make sure that there is enough time for 95 percent of the kids to finish. We should be able to find something to look at that. STRICKLAND: Marilyn. BINKLEY: I'm very concerned about in the field test when we have to get the final item statistics playing with absolutely with anything for testing. And so I would prefer to see or I would suggest that you consider seeing this as a research study to be done on the side. And make a choice now. Go with it now with the understanding that we can do a research study around it. It could be in the first couple of years. But we need item statistics that we can count on to do all the scaling, norming, the whole thing. And so it's going to be real messy. STRICKLAND: Judith. LANGER: The SREB study that I talked about was a very special study. It wasn't the way that NAEP ordinarily does business. And it was one that required additional funds, additional time, and a great deal of planning. But I might mention that every time NAEP has new items, they in fact do something such as Eunice was describing. They definitely look at how long it takes students to actually complete the entire item. And they do make some judgments about how much time to allocate based on student performance. And you will have time to do that. But we can't. I would be uncomfortable with us making that determination without actually having real time, students in real time. CHUDOWSKY: And we can do that during the pilot testing, the initial pilot testing. STRICKLAND: Barbara, anything else that you can think of that we need to -- KAPINUS: I can't think of anything right now. STRICKLAND: Because there are so many things that you're involved in, you and David, I just want to make sure that they get on the table. KAPINUS: I will tell you that I do have one other -- I guess one other piece. And I do not know the results of this. But the people from states who have strong state standards right now should take maybe some comfort in knowing that there are people in the Department who are currently mapping the NAEP, sort of the goals in NAEP, reading and mathematics to state standards to double check the match there so that we don't have something that is dividing people's attention and their resources. Actually, I was pleased to hear it because it's something that I have suggested for a long time should be done to make sure that this is aligned with at least a portion of what most states have in their standards. STRICKLAND: Are you doing that enough? Or are you helping people to do it for themselves? KAPINUS: No. People in OERI are working on that. But they're in contact with us and working with some of our documents and checking back. STRICKLAND: Steve. FERRARA: I want to make sure I understood what Barb just said. People in OERI are mapping the NAEP reading framework to state content standards. STRICKLAND: David. MANDEL: So based on this range of decisions, you said you wanted the committee to make a decision on -- STRICKLAND: Well, not necessarily right at this minute. MANDEL: Okay. I just wanted to know if we were going -- STRICKLAND: But I just wanted to make sure that that's a part of our document. I would rather for us to make the decision, even with some, you know, freedom. But let's make it clear what we want to have happen. And I think it not only affects the test in general, but also those accommodations. I think when we get to the part of the specifications document, I really do think that's going to be very, very crucial. And we need to have that discussion. STRICKLAND: Now, as you noticed, we're suppose to start with the discussion of the draft specification document. However, some people have only had a chance to glance at it. And I'm wondering, and I just need to hear from you, whether or not you feel you would like to have a little time to look at it and then we can go back. The main thing we wanted to do, the way we wanted to handle it is to have people key in, first of all, on the key issues. What are some of the major points that you're concerned about in any way whatsoever? And then, we eventually will be going through it almost line by line, if not line by line. David is shuddering at the thought. (Laughter) STRICKLAND: If not by line, by paragraph. (Laughter) STRICKLAND: I think this meeting is so important because there probably will be relatively minor modifications after this. There may be one, two, a few items that we've got to come back and really look at. I really think this is already taking shape. But I really think that after this, we would hope we would really be moving forward. Sharon expressed an opinion about read time. Anybody else? Okay. Gloria said so, too. Then, why don't we do this, Sharon, what would you say would be a reasonable amount of time? O'NEAL: Ten minutes, 15 or 20 minutes. KAPINUS: I would say at least 15 or 20. O'NEAL: All right. KAPINUS: And people may want to key in especially on things that are particularly near and dear to them. STRICKLAND: Then, let's resume at 10, you know, with our discussion. VOICE: Should some of us do this time with some untimed? (Laughter) STRICKLAND: Welcome, Marsh. HORTON: Thank you very much. STRICKLAND: And welcome, Moddy. Did you just come in this morning? MCKEOWN: Yes. STRICKLAND: I thought we might begin by having David and perhaps Eunice telling us what items that were in the minutes that were included in the draft. MANDEL: Okay. Just a few. The minutes which aren't exactly meant to be minutes, but generally capture the main points of conversation, decisions, there are about three or four issues. One was on page -- and then just directly to tab F of the summary. On the second page, there are three bullets in the middle of the page. And this is more about style and tone than about necessary decisions. But no bullet talked about the ways in which the test could -- it says, "It could be used to develop a common ground for dialogue among educators and parents about what's important in reading." And there is a point that isn't exactly captured in the document, but could be or should be, if we still agree on that point. So that was one. On page 3 under day two, the third bullet talks about the kinds of directions that students should receive and especially the notion about encouraging them to complete all items. That set of ideas isn't exactly in the document. As I said, the natural place for it to be is under the test administration test section. There is a list of things for administrators to do. And in fact, if you look -- go back to page 33 of the draft, it says, "include text for introducing the test to students and preparing them for testing sessions and to see if this is the kind of things they may not exactly be" -- I don't know if tips is the right word. But it seems like a natural place where those kinds of instructions ought to be part of the overall document. So that's the second item. Third is on page 4, the bullet says, "ECR items will not be used in the intertextual portion of the test" which was a pretty straightforward decision that the committee made at the last meeting. As I remember, Steve led us through a variety of options for being more precise about the test specifications. And somehow, we left that out. But it's easy enough to put it in. VOICE: Tell me what ECR is. MANDEL: Extended constructed response. I'm sorry. Longer items, the last item is on page 6. Tell me if I got this right, Eunice. And that is that it says here in the middle of page 6 in the second quote under the distribution of items, cross cognitive reading behaviors and passages, " If there are only four questions for this kind of passage, that is -- yes, for this a short passage, then either a personal response or critical stance item may be selected. This rule of thumb need not apply to the intertextual component as this task naturally engages readers in interpretation critical analyses." Was that the last one we sort of overlooked? Am I right about that? (Pause) MANDEL: Well, I think we overlooked it. GREER: I'm not sure if we overlooked it. I thought that was in there. MANDEL: Okay. GREER: But if we did, we can double check. MANDEL: Right. So that's the viewpoint at this juncture between the summary which we think is accurate and the text which needs to reflect it. STRICKLAND: And if anyone comes across any other or some that they think might be a possibility that we didn't capture it quite the way we thought it should be from the summary from the last meeting to the draft, just raise that issue at any point. Now, we will move on to major issues, concerns. O'NEAL: When you summarize the meetings the next time, will you put who attended? MANDEL: Sure. O'NEAL: Because for some of us who missed the meeting, we would know who was there. MANDEL: Okay. We'd be happy to do that. STRICKLAND: Audrey. QUALLS: Just a couple of major things that stand out, one in the overview. We're saying, "This national test will serve as an indicator when individualized diagnostic assessment is warranted." I don't believe that's correct. It's not going to provide that type of information for an individualized diagnostic assessment. It could serve as an indicator when additional assessment is warranted. GREER: That's what that sentence is supposed to mean. STRICKLAND: Yes. I changed the "when" to "as whether." Would that help? GREER: As to when, that's what I put down, as to when an individualized. STRICKLAND: What about when? GREER: As to whether. HORTON: I put "as to," too. QUALLS: I don't even know if it tells you diagnostic, when you think about diagnostic, if you're thinking of diagnostic tests. GREER: No. It's supposed to flag the need for diagnostic. Kids who score real low should be. HORTON: Yes. So it will serve as an indicator for -- MANDEL: I think we're all at the same place of what it needs to say. PIKULSKI: Yes. GREER: Yes. MANDEL: Okay. QUALLS: I think what it means is additional assessment with this test. GREER: But not -- QUALLS: And it doesn't say that. HORTON: That it should -- QUALLS: It should apply when it's a low score. MANDEL: Oh, I see. Okay. QUALLS: You're going to always need something more. MANDEL: In other words, the message is this test can't stand alone for the assessment. QUALLS: Right. It says that in the back in the summary for the minutes. MANDEL: Right. QUALLS: But it's not reflected here. MANDEL: Okay. Yes. QUALLS: And I don't want anyone to interpret this as saying immediately it needs to be a diagnostic assessment. You need more. O'NEAL: So the sentence about it, this test will not provide descriptive or diagnostic information. You almost need a "more" in there to indicate that more testing would be needed to obtain a profile of a reader. QUALLS: You need more. I don't know what it should say exactly. STRICKLAND: Would this be a place to slot that first item, David, that you mentioned? MANDEL: Yes. STRICKLAND: About the -- MANDEL: About the common ground? STRICKLAND: Yes. MANDEL: Yes. (Pause) STRICKLAND: On page 2. MANDEL: Right. QUALLS: I have -- on 37, I guess I'm not sure, impact on the instructions and students' perception of scores. The primary goal -- STRICKLAND: Audrey, clue us to what paragraph you're dealing with. QUALLS: It's the section, the whole section of impact on instruction. STRICKLAND: All right. QUALLS: Towards the bottom, we have the primary goal is that it returns instructionally useful information. Then, it goes on about student performance in reading compared to national standard. I guess I'm still not sure what instructional information is provided. The first thing says, when we look at the overview, we're going to tell parents and teachers how their students -- where they are basically on their development. Now, we're implying we're giving instructionally useful information. And I don't think we are. PIKULSKI: I agree. JOHNSTON: I agree. STRICKLAND: If a teacher -- all right. Jack and then Ginny. PIKULSKI: It seems to me that we're saying the only thing this test does is it gives you a global picture of where kids are. It seems to me that that's the theme that needs to be consistent through the entire document. And I think the kind of statement that Audrey picked up on 37 is not consistent with that, saying, we're going to tell how now you should shape your instruction. I don't think the test is going to be designed to do that. STRICKLAND: Ginny. SCHRODER:Also, I had starred that one because going back to the overview again, it talks about in the first sentence its purpose is to provide students along with their parents and teachers a report on the development -- their development as readers. Students there are given (Inaudible). And here, the primary goal is that it returns information to teachers about their students' performance. It's put the shift in another direction. I think we need to be consistent all the way through on how the scores are going to be used and by whom, who was this test intended to inform. STRICKLAND: Marilyn. BINKLEY: This is a question that I've been wrestling with. And it's one of if the framework is very well publicized and the test really represents the framework, have we -- irrespective of scores, of individual student scores, have we expressed an instructional goal? I would argue that we have because the framework is rather rigorous in the sense of what it is accomplishing. Okay. So therefore, I would take the position that we could have an impact on instruction because we're making a general statement of what we think the outcome would be -- should be of instruction. And we're creating a test that demands certain kinds of behaviors, performances by kids to do it. Then, I would add to it my class scores -- am I getting a measure of how well my class is doing towards meeting that global outcome? I don't see it all as diagnostic. But I see it as a statement of what it is that instruction should be aiming at. So I'm not as critical of that paragraph as you seem to be, but I think it has to be, where is the information being -- STRICKLAND: Jack and then -- PIKULSKI: I would disagree with what you said, Marilyn. I think though the way it's stated here, it could be interpreted that I now have useful instructional information with respect to a particular student. And I don't think it's doing that. What you communicated is that there is a framework and that if a teacher's class has difficulty with this, then maybe the teacher needs to consider the dimensions of that framework. But that's a pretty complex construct that I don't think is reflected in this particular kind of statement. The other thing -- I think this notion of purpose is secondly important to this whole test. The other thing I'm very concerned about is the issue of aggregation of any of this data. This issue has come up before. And I think we have to address it squarely, whether in fact we're saying these data should not be aggregated. And that begins to touch on it because now I'm saying here's how the class performs. I'm not saying it's addressing all the dimensions of the aggregation issue, but it begins to get us in there. And I think it's one that we have to discuss this morning and have some kind of conclusion about. BINKLEY: Can I just conclude that you mean that you're taking the position that there should be no aggregation? PIKULSKI: I'm not prepared to make an absolute decision on that at this point, but I think it's something that there are a number of people who feel strongly that these data should not be aggregated, given their purpose. I mean, that has been communicated to me by people outside the committee and actually some people on the committee. BINKLEY: Okay. STRICKLAND: Alice. LOPEZ: And I think it's just important to remember from a classroom perspective that any time we do any kind of assessment, it does directly impact instruction, regardless -- the degree of impact may vary, but there is definitely an impact in instruction. For example, if I'm going to give this assessment, then I'm going to look for the following school year and plan accordingly. I provide more opportunities for children to engage in informational text if that was an area that I felt I had not done an adequate job in. I might look at the four stances and do more around the area of demonstrating a critical stance. So I think it's important that we keep in mind, any time any assessment is given in a classroom, it will to some degree impact classroom instruction. STRICKLAND: Marsh. HORTON: She said exactly what I was going to say, exactly. So the only thing I want to add to that is that -- and that's why the statements don't trouble me because I was drawing the distinction in my head between different levels of impact on instruction. Because any time that we talk about assessment, we talk about all the assessment activities that occur and how all those pieces of information contribute to form a picture. And so, although no one piece is going to drive anything in particular, each piece is important. STRICKLAND: I think Jack wants to respond. PIKULSKI: Yes. It worries me a little bit because it seems to me that what I've been hearing is that we're not going to have the technical reliability to be able to tell you whether your kids do better on the information pieces than on literary pieces or on one of the four stances as compared to the other three. So I worry that we make statements that imply that you're going to be able to do that. I think we have to offer caution to the fact that there isn't the degree of technical quality that would allow that kind of interpretation. STRICKLAND: Janet. JONES: I agree that it always has an impact on instruction. But I guess my concern is that the test does not really give instructional information to teachers. And my understanding was that that's why we were going to have the supplementary materials to show what the implications for instruction might be. I think most of us sitting around this table could very comfortably look at the stances and mold that and put that into instruction. But I do know, having worked with a variety of teachers, that many times that just by looking at an assessment, they can't then change it and mold it into what they see as instruction. So I think at least I agree. I think we have to be clear to say that there are some things that you can understand from this assessment, but there are also going to be some things that we don't get now. And that's why there is a need to have other types of assessments that are going on in the classroom. STRICKLAND: Janet, how would you augment that sentence? Or do you feel comfortable with the sentence that the primary goal in fact it says is true? I mean, you don't have to do that right now. But I'm wondering, do you feel comfortable with that? Or you would prefer that we come to some adjustment of that sentence? JONES: It didn't bother me when I first looked at it. But now, looking at it more carefully, I do think that it's not -- the test itself is not really going to give instructionally useful information. It's going to give us some information about what the student is doing. But I think that teachers are going to have to look at it a little more carefully before they decide how that's going to impact their instruction. STRICKLAND: Right. At least the primary goal is certainly something that we would want to change. Moddy and then Ginny. MCKEOWN: It seems like maybe we need to make the distinction between to say what instructional useful means. Does it mean individually useful? Or maybe, we should the use word "curriculum." Because I agree with Alice and what Marsh was thinking and with what Marilyn started with that that has kind of been the point of this that we do want to kind of model instructional in sort of a general way, maybe in a curricula way. We want to provide that kind of information. But it's not individually directed instruction that it's going to change. So maybe we can get the wording around to that. But, you know, it's the bigger picture that we're looking at. STRICKLAND: Ginny had a point. Then, Barbara and Eunice. SCHRODER: Perhaps, if we were more explicit about the information, the results of the test would provide rather than saying something as general as instructionally useful, it would also help answer the issue of what's the purpose of the test to begin with? That seems to be something that's out there. What information exactly will teachers get because there obviously are aspects of reading that this test is not going to address? So I think we have to be very clear about what it will address in 90 minutes time. STRICKLAND: Barbara. KAPINUS: Well, I think you might want to go back to what was originally said about assessment. If you look in the overview which is the first page of text, the first paragraph under the overview about half down, it says, "The test will not provide prescriptive diagnostic information." And then, "However, it will provide an indicator." In the spirit of that, I think you ought to make this sentence align or this paragraph align with that statement and then elaborate on it. And, you know, I think the direction is clear. And this, the overview pieces are taken out of the policy kinds of statements that were originally made by Gary and that I've heard from Mike Smith and so forth. So I think what you do is -- the point of this paragraph is to talk about the need for studies, the paragraph under discussion. So what we need to do is just tweak the paragraph, make sure that we don't make statements that are out of alignment with what's in the early part of this. GREER: That's what I was going to say is that sentence is just in the section under research studies. I think we just modify it to be consistent with the introduction and move on. BINKLEY: I would like the introduction expanded a little bit more to look at the potential impact of the framework. Elaborate the last sentence of that first paragraph. It says, "holds the potential to provoke positive changes across the American educational landscape." By elaborating, extending, or standardizing curriculum or something -- (Laughter) STRICKLAND: All right. You wanted to -- MANDEL: You'll solve that problem later. BINKLEY: I killed a few. They want to move on. (Laughter) MANDEL: Aside from solving the particular language, I just want to make sure that we're in the same sort of place in terms of how we're thinking about this thing because, you know, Eunice and I can go away. And we can write another strange thing if we don't have this right. And that is, I understand the point about this is only one assessment amongst many and that by itself it can only get you so far. And, Audrey made the point well. And I think we can sort of attend to that; that it's not going to be a diagnostic instrument is also I think clearly understood. What's a little fuzzy is -- at least for me is this notion about whether it's going to provide anything useful to teachers. In other words, forget about aggregation. This individual score and the individual results and all the variety of individual information, is that just for parents and students? Or could teachers find any utility at all, as I've heard Alice suggested, like in informing their overall practice, whether it's informing their general plans, it's informing the way they address individual students? Or are people around here suggesting that this is such a modest instrument that it can just be ignored and it's not attended to at all? I mean, because that's where the conversation -- part of the conversation is going. It's sort of like, well, it ain't perfect. And so don't pay too much attention to it. And just do other things. And, it's something to give to parents and kids. And you cannot think about it at all in how you go about your business. STRICKLAND: Let's see what Gloria has to say. JOHNSTON: Well, I certainly wasn't prepared to respond to that question, but I might say that if that's the case, then we're certainly spending a great deal of effort and resources on something that would seem frivolous. MANDEL: Right. JOHNSTON: Since I have the floor for the moment, I want to go back to some point I wanted to make about the overview. And we really -- and David's question is hanging out there. So I will make mine quickly. And that is I want to emphasize what Ginny said. And I believe in the overview, there needs to be a statement added about the primary consumers of this test. And that those primary consumers are, number one, students, parents, and teachers. And I think that they are missing. I originally wrote down parents and students under the bullets somewhere at the very bottom of the overview page. But I believe there needs to be more emphasis on that. MANDEL: It's in the second sentence. STRICKLAND: Do you want to expand that second sentence? JOHNSTON: Not necessarily. When I was looking down at the characteristics of -- STRICKLAND: I see. JOHNSTON: Actually the diamonds at the bottom, I was considering perhaps that since there are supplementary materials that will provide schools and teachers various kinds of opportunity, that we also should include that supplementary materials will be of use to parents and students. And I'm not going to wordsmith how it should be included. STRICKLAND: Yes. JOHNSTON: It's just a suggestion that they be added in the overview, particularly because I would expect that some portions of this overview may come if not as written, somewhat as written into some kind of final document. GREER: Could I? Gloria, do you want us to strengthen the force of that second sentence, as well, with respect to the privacy of that group of consumers? JOHNSTON: No, I think that it is fine that you list students first. I like that. I think students should always be first. Every time we list a string of people, they should be listed first. I don't use the term "parents" anymore, unless I say parents and families. Or typically, I'll just say families, although there are people who say parents and families. So, however, I'm -- STRICKLAND: That is a very good point, Gloria. MANDEL: Yes. JOHNSTON: But I do have a very consistent order to include the primary stakeholders in when I write a document. And I think we should maintain that consistency. And Ginny raised it. And Audrey even raised it when we talk about who's involved. That's all. MANDEL: Yes. I think you're right. STRICKLAND: Judith. LANGER: I'm very concerned about the notion of individual assessment and the ease with which it can slip into diagnosis and immediate recommendations for what can happen in the classroom. Diagnostic tests are very, very different. And I know because we know this from many tests in the past that tests that were meant only to provide aggregate scores were in fact very often used for all good reasons with intentions by districts and teachers to try to make diagnosis implications, inferences from them. And they're not necessarily the best way to go. And I'm afraid that we need to be very careful. It seems to me there are two things that are happening. And I'm going to agree with Moddy in one aspect. It seems to me that the framework and the items do in fact serve as models to suggest features to be included in the K-4 curriculum that are supportive of high level reading comprehension, something of that sort. That's number one. So that's one-half, one-half of what I would talk about. The other part would be that this instrument may provide information to families, students, and teachers regarding possible follow-ups and/or further in-depth analysis. So that it then requires discussion and further steps before anything else is done. But a student does quite well or quite poorly not for the reasons that first appear when you're looking at an individual student rather very large test selection of students. STRICKLAND: Judith, would you like to follow up in terms of where you think this might be plugged in or where -- LANGER: Well, I can see two parts. If there were time and eventually I'd like to see, number one, right up-front that first introduction to the fact that it does make suggestions for curricula, at least K-4 if not beyond. And then, the second part is that it does point to directions of possible follow-up or it points to -- it may imply the need for possible follow-up. STRICKLAND: And that would be in that first paragraph. LANGER: And all of these at the very beginning in terms of purpose. Later on, I think it would be very important for there to be enough models so that in fact school districts and curriculum developers and so on could think very seriously about what could be offered. And I know that Mike Smith is obviously talking about this a lot, how can we change things, the K-4 instruction? STRICKLAND: Well, I think that's a key piece. Sharon is going to talk now. This business if we put something in there about curriculum, Sharon, I want to hear your thoughts on specifically saying K-4 because I think there are people who worry that people are going to think this is a test on fourth grade, period. O'NEAL: Well, my thought was that as I hear the conversation that sometimes what we're saying really is said here, but maybe it wasn't said as straightforward as we might have said it. And is it -- in the overview section, could you even have a bold face heading that might say what this test does and what this test does not do, but worded better than that? But would it make it that clear? Or is that not appropriate for this kind of framework? I mean, to me, if somebody, a parent or a naive reader picked it, okay, what is it going to do? And then, what is not going to do? QUALLS: That's part of the test standard. STRICKLAND: Thoughts on that. Barbara. O'NEAL: So that's in the wrong place. We can do it here. QUALLS: No. It's test standards requiring you to state what a test cannot be used for. KAPINUS: And I would agree with that. I think you can outline that. And one of the things in my mind that we need to separate out here is what will the actual reporting of the test results consist of and do and not do? And then, what will the supplementary materials contribute to people's ability to use the test results and interpret them and then inform what they're doing in their classrooms? And I think in my mind, that is an important difference. It's one thing to get a score and say my kid or kids or students or whatever do or don't match these standards by about this much. That is not highly informative in terms of instruction. It's a gross cut. But all the other stuff, when I see what kids are being asked to do and the kinds of answers that they are making, and I say, well, my kids probably answered it like this. And that's where I think the insights into instruction will lie. And I think to pull that, to tease that apart a little bit more clearly would help the document because as we were talking, I was looking back under the first paragraph under supplementary materials. We talk about professional development and stuff, but we don't really say in that first paragraph that we will have supplementary materials that will help, inform teacher's instructional practice, help them think about what they're doing literally in their classroom. I mean, we're implying it when we talk about professional development, but I think we need to say it right up-front. And the other thing is that it's the very last thing. We say in fifth they'll have a list of curricula resources. Well, first of all, they better have more than just a list of curricula resources. I think that the examples and the released samples of kids' work and so forth, that's going to be the powerful stuff. But that stuff is not just powerful as examples of assessment. And we've talked about assessment system and models of student work for professional development. That stuff informs instruction. And the first thing that we ought to say in that paragraph is that you're going to get some resources connected with this that will help you take a look at instruction. And Marilyn just wrote me a note saying the other piece is to not only inform instruction, but probably almost more importantly in our days of talking about a wider partnership in education and that is to inform parents of what is reading today. What does reading consist of? They are not often accustomed to thinking about what they do as readers and then thinking of the implications then for their kids. Rather they often just substantiate what they may have done several years ago and rightly or wrongly and in first, second, third, fourth grade. So I think that that's going to be an important aspect, too, is to give them those models, too. But that's not the test itself. That's in the supplementary materials, I think. STRICKLAND: Ginny and then Jack and Eunice and Marsh if I remember. SCHRODER: That is recapturing what we're saying then that the overview needs to precisely spell out what the test will do and show and then precisely what will students know and teachers be able to do based on the results. VOICE: What it will not do. SCHRODER: And what it will not do. All that should be in the overview. STRICKLAND: Jack. PIKULSKI: The other thing I would like to see spelled out in the overview a bit more is that we're really studying very high standards for students. It's implied in the kinds of descriptions that we make. But I'm kind of sick of hearing people say 44 percent of the kids can't read a single word because they fell below the basic level on NAEP. And if we're adopting NAEP standards, we are setting high standards for kids. But I don't think that comes through clearly enough. And I think that is one of the real strengths of what we're doing. STRICKLAND: Eunice, I think, you are next. GREER: I wanted to get back to the standard issue. So Jack took care of what I wanted to say. STRICKLAND: Okay. Marsh. HORTON: Several points. One is in order to make the language consistent, keeping up with that line of conversation, in the overview we say that the test is going to be based on the NAEP framework. But then, when we talk about the development of item and test specs, we say it's going to be informed by the framework and it's going to be --. I mean, let's be straightforward and say that it's based on the NAEP framework. The other issue is in here, in the third paragraph in the second line, we say that this process is going to be part of an effort to move assessment forward. We're not moving assessment forward, are we? VOICE: Where are you? HORTON: The third paragraph. VOICE: Of the overview. HORTON: Yes. We're not moving the assessment forward. Because of some of the constraints we're dealing with, in some ways we're moving it back. And in some ways, we're holding it steady. But we're definitely not moving it forward. So I think we need to take that out. STRICKLAND: Okay. Barbara. KAPINUS: Well, I -- first of all, I'll let the people that disagree talk about why they disagree about moving assessment forward. You might be moving some other stuff forward. I mean, I think that one of the things you're doing, the real thing is to increase achievement. And that maybe doesn't go in that paragraph. That's what we talked about. HORTON: I agree with that. I mean, that fits in with the line that Jack was saying of making sure people understand what we're talking about when we say basic. And I think we need to get that in more than one place. We need to get that at the beginning. We need to get that when we talk about scoring so that people fully understand what we're talking about. I support that 100 percent coming from my world of assessment. STRICKLAND: Marilyn, do you want to respond? BINKLEY: In terms of the actual assessment itself, I agree that we're not pushing very ahead at all, but we are taking what NAEP has done. On the other hand, I think where we have the opportunity to really make a difference is in terms of the kind of communication about test results and test frameworks. And by virtue of going to parents, by virtue of going out there, by virtue of the list of publications that you came up with at the end of the meeting, I think this is where you will be able to say that this committee will have an impact on moving assessment into a different sphere in terms of what it communicates. And I think it came out of the list of -- Marsh, you weren't there to listen to the list of -- HORTON: I heard the list from the first meeting. I mean, I saw it. BINKLEY: So what I'm suggesting is if you focus on where the communication efforts will be and how that is framed, then you can have a bigger impact. It could be an impact in what instructional outcomes could look like. It could be an impact for parents and kids in terms of what they're expected to be doing, okay, how they should be expected to be performing. It's not just the score. It's not just the test, but it is the whole package. HORTON: And if we can enlarge the terminology to encompass all this stuff because when I hear assessment, I'm thinking about the process of testing. BINKLEY: Yes. HORTON: And that's what it is going to communicate to a lot of people. And they are going to think we're moving -- well -- STRICKLAND: Eunice. GREER: I think just with the test itself we are moving forward. This is the first national test that is linked to standards. For some states, it's the first large-scale piece of assessment that includes the opportunity for open-ended responses. So it's the first test to validate on a national scale the use of more contemporary forms -- what we used to call alternative assessment which is becoming more mainstreamed. This is the first test that is going to come with a set of supplementary materials that expands the notion of what a large-scale assessment is and that tries to situate it in a context and help schools to situate it in a larger context of assessment. And so for all of those reasons, I think it is. And the ways we're thinking of reporting, I think it is what you said it wasn't. (Laughter) STRICKLAND: Sharon. O'NEAL: I think we can never underestimate the power a test like NAEP has. When you look at what's happened in California and Texas, pay very close attention to California's actions following their NAEP, the release of their NAEP data on their reading test. And we just can't underestimate the kind of impact that is going to have. Marsh, you say it keeps us at a standstill. In Texas, this could move us way forward. It probably depends on which state you're in and how progressive you are. I come from a very conservative state where changing assessment, from reading a paragraph to multiple choice questions to a whole passage was a major event. So it probably depends on your perspective as to where you are. Granted, you are in a place where you're doing terrifically progressive things, but -- HORTON: My concern, I guess, is knowing the states that are in the midst of reform. The conversations that I have, the struggles that they are having with this test right off the bat was the percentage of multiple choice. And so knowing that we have to deal with that and knowing that, yes, there are states out there who are still thinking 100 percent multiple choice is hunky-dory. But to have a statement that we're moving is almost like a slap in the face to those who are way down the road and still want to participate. So that's one thing. The language, I can deal with it if the language is somehow clear enough that we're not just talking about the test itself, but how the test, the processes that may be associated with that, instructional materials, anything. But just that statement, you know, just doesn't get us there. STRICKLAND: Judith. LANGER: Yes. I want to be sensitive to Marsh's concerns and to the states and to the districts. It seems to me that it's very important for a different constituency to be able to say that these in fact are well-founded instruments we're basing this assessment on, well-founded instruments. That it is not something that either is used for experimental or advancing at least within the state of assessment. And it's not. So I think it's important to say what we are doing is offering a much more widespread use to use assessment to make a very substantial difference in what students learn in the early grades or are exposed to in the early grades. We are committing districts and states to be able to re-think their own curriculum if they would like to do that. But I think it's important for the states that are moving beyond this. And those that are nowhere near it and have a very conservative constituency be able to say this isn't something that at this point could be (Inaudible) in fact we're following the framework that has been in place for quite some years at a national level. STRICKLAND: Yes. The point about this not being based on something experimental I think is very, very important, especially for states that are very conservative. Ginny and Audrey. It's almost time for a break. So let's finish up with the two of you. And then, David, if you are just about -- MANDEL: Yes. STRICKLAND: All right. SCHRODER: Maybe, the message is that we ought to exclude as much as possible any kind of qualitative statements throughout and by being more explicit, as we said before, telling what the test can do and what it cannot do, and leave out things like moving something forward or moving something backward which tends to have a qualitative connotation to it would be safer. I think I'm agreeing with what Judith is saying that we just need to leave that kind of language out and let states make that determination for themselves as to whether we're moving it forward or not. HORTON: Well, I wouldn't advocate being safe. (Laughter) HORTON: And so -- SCHRODER: That's safe. HORTON: Yes. Because I just want to make sure that the message clear. SCHRODER: Yes. HORTON: I think if we were to stick only to statements that were not qualitative that we would deprive ourselves of communicating some messages that are in fact very rich that we need to communicate. I just want to make sure the message that we're communicating really speaks to the accuracy of what we are doing. STRICKLAND: Audrey. QUALLS: My comment goes back to David's question a little further. So I'll wait until -- STRICKLAND: Anybody else on this issue about -- David. MANDEL: Yes. No, I mean, I'm just sort of building on Judith's point that the accomplishment here is in fact building on a lot of rich work that has gone on over a number of years, that some of the best work of leading edge states and school districts that have piloted this and implemented it and found it be helpful and useful and better than what they had before, and bring it up to the national level and make it available to everyone. And that's an important accomplishment to be recognized and not to be undersold and not say no one has ever done this before and open yourself to attack. That is why it is an experimental thing. But to understand that this is a next natural progression after many years of work at the local and the state level. And so you give people credit where they've done important work and say we're making this available to everyone and build on that. STRICKLAND: Okay. When we come back -- it seems to me, we've actually pinpointed a number of things that we want to do with the overview actually. And I will list those, what I think they were when we begin. And you can let me know if there are other things that you think need to be added or if I got it wrong. Fifteen minutes. STRICKLAND: I think we're about ready to resume. We'll gather around the table. It seems to me that we really spend a good deal of time on some suggestions for the overview. And so I jotted down some of the things that I had. And I would like for others to chime in if there are some points of difference. I just want to say though that we have to be careful. The overview shouldn't be overloaded. It should have important elements in it that we think we want to convey immediately, but we have to be careful not to overload it. We want to express clarity about what the test will do and what it won't do, and how the supplementary materials will contribute and make a statement somewhere within the three existing diamonds, I guess at the third diamond something about the supplementary materials for parents and students. And, Gloria, you had raised that issue. We want to make it clear that the assessment will have curriculum implications for K through 4. And that can certainly be put in, embedded within maybe that first paragraph. Stress the use of high standards. And that these youngsters will be assessed against high standards. Stress the fact that it capitalizes on the best thinking and research to date, that it builds upon previous work and makes that available to everyone. It has a firm foundation, something, words to that effect. And either add families to parents or just include families where we talk about providing information for students, parents, and teachers. It could be parents and families or just families. Now, those are the things that I had. Is there anything else? Eunice. GREER: What did you have before stress the use of high standards, please, Dorothy? STRICKLAND: Curricula implications for K through 4. And that probably will be embedded there within some sentence, but that is very, very important. And that's why that was raised. Marsh. HORTON: A new issue, under supplementary materials, it says provide all kinds of stuff, are we still providing assessment materials on meta cognition? I thought we said we were not going to do that. GREER: There wasn't a -- unless I missed it. There wasn't a note. HORTON: Help me out because I thought at that first meeting, we said -- QUALLS: I thought we said, no, because it hadn't worked with NAEP, didn't know how to deal with that. GREER: That was on the testing of meta cognition. What we said is we - HORTON: Yes, I know. But then, in the rest of the conversation, I thought we just said we were going to steer clear of that because it wasn't informative. GREER: Even in the supplement. HORTON: Yes, I thought. GREER: Okay. That's fine. STRICKLAND: Okay. Let's eliminate it, unless there is anybody having a strong disagreement. (Pause) STRICKLAND: All right. Let's move on to broad issues. I thought this would be a good time to capture what had gone on because we focused so much on that. And I think there are some very good suggestions. Marsh. HORTON: In the rationale for the specs, in the second sentence, we talk about -- QUALLS: Give me a page. I'm having problems. HORTON: Oh, six, page 6. (Pause) HORTON: In the second line, we start talking about the characteristics of school vendors. And the first thing we talk about is their positive attitudes and positive self-perceptions. I know that -- I have two concerns about that: one, whether we should have that statement in there at all. And secondly, if we put it in there, that it should come later after we describe the attributes of a proficient reader. Why I'm concerned about putting it in there at all because although it's true that that's the characteristics of a proficient reader, when people read things like that, the first thing that they come up with -- this is one of those flags from a policymaker's perspective. People think, oh, they're worried about kids feeling good about their reading. They can't read. Skip all the other parts that say proficient readers feel good, you know, etcetera and so forth. We're not assessing that. We're simply talking about one of the attributes. If it's not important to put in there, I would say take it out because I think it's going to cause more problems from those who read things like that in ways that we don't intend than the good that it would cause in terms of just giving people a general description of what readers are about. STRICKLAND: Comments? Alice, I saw you shaking your head. What do you think? LOPEZ: I agree with it just some from a policy perspective. I'm thinking of two board members in particular. (Laughter) LOPEZ: They see that. And it's, you know -- MANDEL: A red flag. LOPEZ: Yes. STRICKLAND: And they don't get any further. LOPEZ: And mainly because Marsh's point is that we are not assessing that. So -- STRICKLAND: Other reactions? Does somebody else -- O'NEAL: I would just agree. STRICKLAND: Now, are you saying that we should move it to another spot or eliminate it? HORTON: I say take it out. STRICKLAND: Janet. JONES: I don't really want to take it out. I don't mind limiting it to another spot. But if we're saying that -- I mean, this is what I deal with when I talk with parents all the time. There are many children who can read and are able to read, but they choose not to read. And they are not growing in their reading. They are not -- I mean, I just think it's important for us to say -- to keep it under the characteristics. These are characteristics that do separate accomplished readers. I think a lot of them -- NAEP data show that people who read on their own time tend to score better. And that's because they have a positive attitude. And they're making their choices about what they're reading. So I would like to have it somewhere, but I don't think I agree with Marsh to put it right up front there in the first paragraph because it could cause some people from reading on into it. HORTON: But take it further, Janet. Think about how that statement sounds if you apply it to math. One of the attributes of people who do well in math, they have positive attitudes about math and they do math things. I mean -- and I guess if I were -- well, that's nice. JONES: Well, no math attitudes are -- STRICKLAND: Ginny. SCHRODER: Again, I think we have to be consistent throughout. Who is this for? Who are the test results for? Again, if we put the students primary, there first, and then policymakers are some place on the list, students need to know that. It's a qualification of a good reader. Or a part of being a good reader is your attitude about reading and your uses for it. I agree with Marsh that probably it shouldn't be first out of the box, but I think it needs to be included again because of the audience that we're trying to appeal to. And that's the student, not the policymakers. MANDEL: The student won't read this document though. SCHRODER: The student may not read it, but it still keeps a consistency throughout that the student is an important part of our consideration. STRICKLAND: Moddy and then Suzanne and Audrey. MCKEOWN: It seems like the following sentence is going to meet on those issues that we've just been talking about about why you want to keep that. So I don't think that we really do need to keep the sentence. I mean, they choose to read a variety of materials, recognizing that they read often to develop their own criteria. They function successfully. And they take personal satisfactions in their reading. I think those sentences say what we've been trying to say of why we think that that's important. STRICKLAND: Okay. Suzanne. CLEWELL: I think that we should definitely include it. And I agree with Marsh that perhaps it shouldn't be first. But it certainly has implications for students, for families, for teachers. And even though we're not assessing it, students who read and choose to read are going to be successful readers. So couching it in the attributes of what a successful reader is in terms of being strategic and motivated and engaged are really important. STRICKLAND: Barbara, Marilyn, Eunice. KAPINUS: Okay. First of all, I think you could probably go on about this forever. I think you can strike a compromise by moving a sentence to the end of that paragraph that says in general, accomplished readers have positive attitudes about reading. Stop. None of this positive self-perception stuff. Then, what I would also do is take the number A under that list that really expands this and move it down to the last on the list instead of the first. Not only does it take care of your concerns, but the other thing that it does is it puts first in that list something that is near and dear to a strong contingency. And that is the fluency statement. And I think really when some interesting people come out to question our endeavors in this area and want to know why we're not testing for anemic awareness in the fourth grade, that statement B being first on the list of characteristics of good readers is going to be a very important statement to be able -- not to have buried in the list. STRICKLAND: Marilyn, before you -- BINKLEY: Okay. STRICKLAND: Barbara, I'm not clear as to what you want to do with the first paragraph. Can you just repeat that? KAPINUS: Okay. In the first paragraph, I would take that sentence in general, they have positive attitudes about reading, on and on and on, and I would simply delete it there. STRICKLAND: Yes. KAPINUS: And at the end of that paragraph, you could say, in general, accomplished readers have positive attitudes about reading period. So that deals with people's needs to say something about positive attitudes. It doesn't get quite into so touchy an area as positive self-perceptions which I think is much more the red flag on this piece. And then, the second step would be to move A down to the end of the -- STRICKLAND: Yes, the last part. Eunice, you wanted to make a point. GREER: Yes. I just wanted people to know that as a source, the bulk of page 6 and 7 are almost direct lifts from the NAEP framework, so you know that. And also, Barb, so you have, in general, accomplished readers have positive attitudes about reading. Do you want to say "and about themselves as readers"? Or do you want -- no. Okay. KAPINUS: Well, you can say "and about themselves as readers." It's just that that phrase "positive self-perception" is a red flag to some contingencies. BINKLEY: Not in 1997. Don't put it in there. KAPINUS: Yes. I think just leave it out, yes. I mean, you're right. It was very much in that framework. But we have learned some sad and -- HORTON: The school of hard knocks. KAPINUS: The school of hard knocks in the last seven or eight years, yes. (deleted) (Sample 2) BROWN: Welcome. Happy New Year. Congratulations for getting through the first week of classes, which is always high intensity and anxiety for some of us. And I want to introduce our new Secretary, David Thompson, who comes to us from UNC News Services where he's worked for five years, so I'm hoping he will help with our media relations as well -- which I find in this job is the most difficult part of my job, even, ironically, being a Professor of Journalism, on the other side of the pen at this point, or the camera. I have a couple of things to talk about. Things are moving quickly with the Legislature, as you know. Over the holidays -- we have what is called a Faculty Legislative Liaison Committee, a rather lengthy title for basically our radical faculty group t hat's trying to figure out how to work with the Legislature. And this group worked diligently over the holidays. We met with the Governor, in cooperation with NC State. We had representatives from both NC State and Carolina to meet with the Governor to push two primary goals that we've been working on for a couple of years. First is competitive faculty salaries. We continue to work on that, to get us back to where we were in the early 80's. The second piece that we've now begun to discuss is greater support for graduate education. This is a tougher sell. We haven't really talked about this in a way that the State understands yet. And so we're working hard to make that understandable and have the State understand all that that brings to the State. We have made an economic argument to the Governor which he endorses and supports. A couple of years ago Michael Luger in City and Regional Planning did an economic analysis, and he's updated it. And basically what we know is that for every dollar the State gives to support the University at Chapel Hill, we generate another three to four dollars for the State. And so basically every year we are generating almost $1 billion for the State economy. So if we need to be speaking in economic terms, which I think we do need to be speaking about at this point, we would say that we are a great investment for the State. And so when the State is in a situation as we are in now, in economic good times, we would argue that it is time to continue investing in the University. However, we are now at a point where we should probably be very pragmatic about the political environment we're in as well. This morning we saw that the UNC Board of Governors has begun to talk about which programs we're going to cut. The measure they 're using to decide which programs they would cut is the number of graduates. I think most of us would argue that may not be, certainly wouldn't be, the sole measure we would want to use to decide which programs to cut, that there are a number of explanations for why we may have small, very high quality programs. And graduates take longer to graduate in some programs than others. And part of it may be, especially at the graduate level, that they're not graduating because we don't give them enough to live on. And so they have to be having two or three jobs to support themselves while they try to get through the degree program. So these are complicated issues. And what I would argue at this point is that we as a faculty, rather than criticizing the Legislature or the Board of Governors for the kinds of solutions they're coming up with, is what we need to say is that we want to be involved in this process. If cuts are to be made, we need to be in that conversation. We need to be involved in deciding what measures should be used, to decide what should be cut if we have to cut. So, what we've been thinking about, that is the Executive Committee of the Faculty Council, is to -- this is a bit of an awkward segue, but I think it's related -- is that what we've been working on is, there is a convergence of planning efforts right now. The Chancellor just spoke about the land-use planning. You've been seeing that all over the newspapers. And a number of faculty are involved. And a committee that's working diligently, with Tom Clegg as its chair. That's one planning effort. At this point we're beginning to say also that -- I'm sorry -- so the planning effort that's also in place or moving is what we have coming out of the SACS reaccreditation process. So for a year-and-a-half we've been involved in a self-study. We've basically been self critical, looking at what are we doing well, what still needs to be done, what's missing. I see this as a possibility right now, that we put these pieces together and we start looking at the future in a way that, so we will be prepared to speak to the Legislature about where we want to be going in the future, where we might, could perhaps cut if we need to. Like that. So we will be talking more about that planning process, getting that in place in a way that really will work for us. I encourage you all to speak with us about how this can proceed. Some of you are experts in planning. Some of you have expertise in thinking about the future in a way that I perhaps don't. I've only just come to this, thinking of 25, 100 years hence. Some of you do that every day. So, if you do, please let me know about that. And we'll start talking about how we can make this happen. And if you want to talk about it right now, I'll be happy to. I have a couple of other -- So that's where we are. That's what I've been spending a lot of our time thinking about and the Executive Committee's been thinking about -- besides basketball tickets. That will come up again. I'll tell you about it since it's been in the press again. We will talk about it at the next meeting probably. It comes back to the Agenda Committee in a couple of weeks, and so the Agenda Committee will decide whether we are going to talk about it here. I've heard some comments from you. If you want to give me more input now, fine. As you've read in the paper, I think this isn't the most important thing we could be talking about right now, but John Swofford assures me that this is an issue that never goes away. So perhaps we just have to keep dealing with it. So, your advice and counsel on that are appreciated well. Three announcements, or I would say, in the church I go to we call them "invitations," when they're announcements -- opportunities for you as faculty. George Jackson is here. George Jackson is the Academic Affairs Officer for Student Government. I think I just botched his formal title, but we've been working on a couple of issues together and he wants to speak to us about the Carolina Course Review quickly. JACKSON: I'm here because Student Government wants to invite you to a forum that is designed to offer the University community an opportunity to discuss possible revisions to the Carolina Course Review survey. I don't know how many of you have actually seen a copy. This is the latest Carolina Course Review that came out for this semester. The Carolina Course Review is essentially designed to give information to students about the classes for which they may register for the following semester. It includes both information provided by faculty about the courses, including course descriptions and requirements for the course, as well as information from a survey that's filled out at the end of each course. This survey both provides information to students as well as possibly help with feedback to faculty. Hopefully we can get a good conversation between students and faculty to discuss what really needs to be on the survey so that the survey will provide information to students that they really feel is needed, as well as information to you that feel can give you constructive feedback on your courses. This forum is going to be this coming Tuesday, January 17th, at 5:00 in the Student Union, Room 205 and 206. We would really appreciate it if you could come. Thank you. BROWN: Do it again, George, where is it? JACKSON: It's in the Student Union, Room 205 and 206, on this coming Tuesday, January 17th, at 5:00. BROWN: I will ask for volunteers. Are there a couple of people in the Faculty Council who will be willing to work with Student Government on, I think, an important piece -- this is something that the students have given money to. It's now part of student fees to support the -- am I right about that? JACKSON: Yes -- BROWN: to support the Carolina Course Review. And we brought it up to the Agenda Committee, and the Agenda Committee was not high on the Carolina Course Review. They were not very supportive of it. And I think that it behooves us at this point to say okay, if we don't like it, what can we do to make it better. The students are paying for it, it's going to be coming out, and our classes are going to be evaluated. So we need some people to work with the students to help them make it a document that we can use, and that works for us. Yes, Barry? MORIATY: I think one way of improving it is, any norms that you compare, present rankings to that in the early 1980s, is the time when many faculty did not respond to that survey. And I think you need to send a new survey. JACKSON: We are encouraging as many faculty as possible, we even send out some surveys for courses that were taught the previous semester then attempt to get the information back. We would encourage all of you to send those documents that you get as well. BROWN: Any other comment about that at this point? Any volunteers? Great, will you do that? Thank you very much. Ah, good, Larry, from the Center for Teaching and Learning, thank you, Larry, Larry Rowan. If you don't want to be public about it and will tell me later, I'd appreciate that. BAYNE: Just pick a name from somebody who's not in attendance. BROWN: Two other invitations. The Johnston Scholars is a wonderful program of scholarships here on campus. They have been, each year a 100 outstanding students are chosen for the Johnston Awards Program. It's in its twenty fifth year. And this is the first year that they've decided -- they are taking on, creating a program for the campus. This program will take place in September, 23rd to the 30th. They're focusing on "Media and the Mind, Shaping Political and Ethical Consensus in America." They've invited Charlie Kuralt to be the keynote speaker, and a number of very interesting people to come and be on campus for a week to meet with students and give presentations, forums, and seminars and so on. They are looking for faculty participation, widespread faculty participation. So I encourage you all, when, if a student calls you and asks you to be involved in some way, to look to see if you have the time and energy, and I hope that you do, to work with them. I think this is a valuable program on campus . Okay. And thirdly, there is the eighth annual Show of Hands for Peace and Unity. How many, anybody ever participated in that before? It's on Wednesday, January 18th. It's in support, it's in celebration of the Martin Luther King, Jr. birthday, and apparently it's a very moving experience. It's been primarily students previously, and we'd like to have some faculty participation there as well. It takes place noon to 1:00 this coming Wednesday, on Polk Place. Where is Polk Place? Is that the Old Well, or is that behind the South Building? So, great, I hope we see you there. Anything else? Invitations, announcements from you. Opportunities, comments, criticisms, celebrations? KASSON: Just comment on your earlier comments about the need to get into the discussion about budget cuts and planning. I don't do planning, but I do think about words, and I would love to see us control the vocabulary in a different way. The idea that the only way that we could respond to pressures to be more efficient in our budget is by lopping off programs is something that I'd like to see us move from that concept to another kind of concept, efficiency, accountability, something else. So when you go in there, I'd like to see you try to get control of the vocabulary and move it to another level. BROWN: Great. I think that's very important. One of the things a small group of us have been doing is to talk about intellectual themes for the University as another way of getting clearer about our sense of the University, and the framing of that is very important, of how we're going to talk about who we are and what we're good at, so that's excellent. Goo d. Thank you. Anything else? BROWN: David Godschalk is not here yet, he has a class, he'll be here in a minute. So we'll move on to Madeline Levine. LEVINE: I'm here as Chair of the Faculty Hearings Committee, and I'm going to take questions about the report. BROWN: It was an interesting report in that, I think previously you had talked about I'm not sure you called it conflict negotiation, conflict resolution, but that you all were participating in negotiation skills or something? And that you have been rather, it looks like you have been successful. LEVINE: We haven't been formally trained in it, but what we have attempted to do since I don't know if there is anyone in the room right now who has gone through a faculty hearing, but for the grieving faculty member who feels that he or she was dismissed or not reappointed and for the chair who is accused of making mistakes or of malice or some other impermissible ground, these hearings are tremendously disruptive, very, very difficult processes, and so what we have done informally and the chairs of the committee when contacted by a faculty member, is to see if there is any mediation that we can do, but it is not a formal process, and if it doesn't work, we can go ahead immediately with what we are mandated. Some hearings have been called off in the process. They have not gone further because the parties agree that there was some misunderstanding and were able to resolve it. BROWN: That's great. Thank you very much. Any comments for Madeline? BAYNE: Just sort of an odd question. Hopefully most of the grieving faculty never get into the grievance process; there's some sort of resolution. But some of the people that are unhappy just end up leaving. And I wondered if we were collecting exit information from some of our faculty who go other places for whatever reasons to find out what the problems are. Sometimes it's salary, but other times it's problems with your supervisor or the administrative structure, or you feel like you're a minority being discriminated against, or whatever. BROWN: Have you read the women's report? BAYNE: Yes, but what I'm thinking of is the people that are exiting will have a whole range other than just the minorities, the other things that account for it, and I wonder if we could collectively sort of look at that periodically. I don't know whether there's an exit interview process for faculty, cause I sort of came to stay -- I'm loving it, so I don't know about that part. BROWN: As far as I know there is with the Affirmative Action Office, does do yearly exit interviews, and are you using that data, Pamela, or are you using other data? Not yet. It's not quite what you want yet. BAYNE: And so feeds that committee, but we also could also look at maybe an overview of as it comes up. BROWN: More broadly. Good. HERSHEY: I'm just going to note for Professor Bayne that indeed Bob Cannon's office does collect those. We do have questions about that from time to time which might be worth it, Bob, either with the Council or through some other mechanism providing just an overview of what they do do. BROWN: Good. Can you make that happen? Yes? Okay, great, thank you. BAYNE: Thanks, Garland. BROWN: Anything else about hearings? So that's duly noted that Garland's going to take care of that. Right? CONOVER: You all have the report. I just have two comments to add. The Committee feels it's very important that the faculty, particularly those serving on search committees, continue to recognize that increasing the presence of women faculty at UNC is a need that we haven't fulfilled yet, and therefore we would urge you to guard against complacency in terms of recruiting and finding for women on campus. And the other thing I'd like to add is the Committee would like to publicly thank Garland Hershey and Dick McCormick and their offices -- BROWN: Pamela, I'm going to have to ask you to come forward so that we get every stellar word. CONOVER: We'd like to thank Garland Hershey and Dick McCormick and especially the staffs in their offices for all the help they've given us this past year in gathering the data for the glass ceiling study that we are currently engaged in, and hopefully next year we will have in our report the conclusions from that study. Questions? BROWN: Comments for Pamela? BAYNE: I don't want to ask two questions in a row but I will. When I first saw this report in the Agenda Committee I had two reactions and I want to sort of express both of them. One is I think as a University we've made great strides, certainly in the last two, three, four years, and I'm very proud of those. But I did something for the Agenda Committee which I didn't bring to share with you all, but I'll tell you. I just took the data out of this report and did a linear regression analysis to find out at what point in time we would have 50% women on the faculty in tenured and tenure-track positions. And the answer, the correlation coefficient was very high, about 98%. The number, the break-even point for men and women on the faculty is the year 2056. Now, on the one hand I think we've done an incredible job of getting to this point. I mean compared to other universities I think we're a decade ahead. But on the other hand, I think we should be at the point now of developing sort of secondary levels of strategies about how we empower women, okay, more than just having a few to count. And I don't know how that process should occur, whether it should occur it in this committee, or a different committee, or whatever, and I know Dick McCormick has made great contributions, and others in this past year, and maybe they have some questions, but I guess I'm looking forward to saying how fast can we get towards that goal? I mean can that happen in the 2000 - 2010 range, or do we have to wait until 2056. That's sort of crazy, but that's the pace we're going right now. That's when it's going to happen. And I thank you, Pam, because I think the Committee's done a great job. CONOVER: Thank you. BROWN: Great. And I'll be dead by then. BAYNE: And you wouldn't be counted then. BROWN: Is David here yet? David Godschalk. Buildings and Grounds. Maybe he can't find us. Well, he's on Buildings and Grounds, he should be able to find us. BAYNE: Maybe we can just ask if there are any questions about the report. BROWN: Are there any questions about the report? We're going to be hearing much more about buildings and grounds in the near future. ANDREWS: I'm sorry David is not here; is anyone else from Buildings and Grounds here? Let me just for the record then say that one of the comments that was indicated in there is that the Buildings and Grounds Committee has approved the statement, or advised, that the renovation of the Campus Y building would not be advisable or cost effective and that its replacement should be planned. BROWN: There he is. Come on up, David. We just started talking about your report. LENSING: Why don't you go ahead with your point, Pete. Unless David wants to say anything first about the report, then I can come back to it. GODSCHALK: Well let me just say that I'm here on the occasion of the stepping down of John Sanders who's been Chairman of Buildings and Grounds for some time and certainly devoted an enormous amount of energy and knowledge and care to the Buildings and Grounds Committee. So I feel like Harry Truman or some others might have felt when sort of the mantle falls on you, and I'll do my best to answer your questions. John has basically summarized the actions of the Committee in the report. And I think the thing I could do is try to respond to points in question. BROWN: Pete has a specific question about one of the recommendations. (deleted) (Sample 3) DOSSEY: I think we've reached 9:00 a.m. And it's probably time that we get the hearing underway. I would like to welcome everybody on the part of the Department of Education, the Council of Chief State School Officers, and members of the committee. And I think it might be good to just go around the table and introduce ourselves, since there are some members of our committee here for the first time. And maybe, we'll just start in the corner and have everyone introduce themselves at the table. (Whereupon, the introductions took place.) DOSSEY: Okay. We'll begin this morning with a report by Gary Phillips of the U.S. Department of Education on the status of the National Math Test initiative at the moment. Gary. PHILLIPS: Thank you. Well, I also want to welcome you here and welcome our guests. This is a very important meeting for us. It's the first public hearing of the Math Committee. I think there will be one other public hearing as well later on in the process. And there will be two as well for the reading. We've had about five or six public meetings on the test overall. But these are very important meetings for us. They give us an opportunity to hear from you and to think through what you say. And what you do say does affect policy. We will listen carefully to what you have to say, both the Math Committee and the Department of Education on a broader level. And what we've done in the past, the transcripts of the meetings and the summaries and the minutes, we take those back. And we go over them. We think it through. We see how what we're doing is consistent with what you would like us to do. And, you know, in general, I think we have a real good policy here, this National Test. I think it is a good idea. And it's the right time. But we want to have you to buy into it, to understand it, to support it. And we will make whatever modifications that we need to, you know, satisfy you as best as possible. So these are very important meetings for us. And we appreciate your coming here to give us your comments. Just in general, I just want you to know that this is not -- this whole activity is really not just to create a new test. There are many good tests out there. Some not so good, but many very good tests out there. This is really not the whole idea of this. It's not just to create a new test. The idea of this or the purpose of it is to improve student learning. That's the whole thing. And how does this work? Well, I think it will work by just the presence of this test, I believe, will energize the American educational system, just being there, not to mention the information that it will provide, but it will energize the American educational system. And I think it will serve as a scaffold that will stimulate other activities that will surround it. The whole idea here is to empower teachers and parents with information that they don't currently have. When we give reports from the TIMSS results or from the NAEP results which are national surveys, policy makers use that information. They consider it to be important. They use it for policy purposes. They make decisions. Not a single teacher, not a single parent or student has that information for themselves. No teacher knows what their students do on the NAEP test, for example, no parent, no student. The idea here is to empower parents and teachers with information they don't currently have. This test also really is the next logical step in the standards reform movement, the National Content Standards Reform Movement. NCTM standards have been around now for almost 10 years. And other associations have developed standards in reading and other areas. Those have been considered to be successful. But again, a lot of the work on the standards movement are really at the policy level, at the national, the state, maybe the district level. There hasn't been a lot of penetration down into the classroom. This test, part of what this test will do, I think, will take national standards and move them down into the classroom. So for the first time, parents and students and teachers will know how they stack up against national standards and international standards as well. Another aspect of this whole activity, again from a policy point of view, is that we want to set -- the whole thrust of this is to set the same high expectations for all students. We don't want to have just the good curriculum in the suburbs, curriculum with lower expectations in the inner cities. We want to have the same high expectations for all students. I think this will help to bring that about. It won't guarantee it. It will help bring it about because the same students in the inner cities and the suburbs will be taking this test. So this is really a different kind of test. It is another test, but there are things about this test really that are very different from what I think you might be used to from other tests that you observe in local and state testing programs. One is, of course, the President's involvement. The President has committed himself throughout the remainder of this administration to talk about education and this test. And you've seen that in the past. He's had many meetings on this. He's going to have many meetings in the future. So this is really the first time where we actually have the President of the United States out there talking about education and talking about the importance of this test and what it will do. This is really the first time that this country has had a test in which it will be released to the press right after the first -- right after the administration of it. It will go -- it will be released to the press, to the Web, along with scoring guides. Parents and teachers will be able to see and students will be able to see what this test was all about. This will be a lot like the test in Europe where when they are released, parents and the public talk about the test. The items are in the press. And people discuss it. It's a topic of conversation. This test will be developed in a fish bowl. Most tests are not developed that way. Every meeting that we have on this test, every single meeting will be a public meeting. There will be transcripts of those meetings. And the only meetings that we will have that will not be in public will be those in which we work on the items themselves. But the item and test specifications will be a public document. We will have a sample of the test available prior to the administration in 1998 so that the public can see what the test is all about. It's all being done in the open with lots of opportunities for stake holders and other constituents to have input into the process. We want that input. And it's being designed explicitly to get that input. This will be also I think one of the first tests that will be developed in such a way that we are going to make the test understandable. The metric and the reporting is going to be focused on making the test understandable to parents and teachers. Most testing programs, even the most well intentioned, don't put the energy and the effort into trying to make the scores and the information understandable and useful. That's a primary goal of the testing program. When parents look at this and teachers look at it, they will say, yes, I understand that. This is obvious. This is a good thing to do. A lot of effort will go into that in the development contract with focus groups, with students, parents, and teachers. This is also a test and possibly one of the few tests or the only test in which students will get information. We will get information on individual students about how they stack up against other students in the nation on nationally developed standards, developed through a national consensus process. And we will do that through the linking with NAEP. And so what we will know, we will have information on each student about whether or not they are below basic, basic, proficient, or advanced. And that information simply is not available in any of the testing programs. We will also have international information. Students can see how they stack up against students in 41 other countries. So the whole idea here is to energize the educational system, make this test be -- have a catalytic influence. And I think we're really entering into a new era here. In many ways, this is historic. This will be information that the educational system simply hasn't had in the past. And so you are an important part of this. I'm glad you're here. I'm glad we're having this meeting. I'm looking forward to it. Thank you. DOSSEY: Thank you, Gary. DOSSEY: Well, I mentioned before, we're assembled this morning to hear testimony from people representing professional groups, representing other entities, as well as representing themselves. And we do have some people who have already indicated that they are representing. And we will begin this morning with testimony by Tim Schlenvogt whose representing the National Association of Secondary School Principals. We welcome you, Tim. As I mentioned, we are here to hear from individuals and the input that they have. We will allow you to present your testimony. There may be some questions from members of the committee relative to specific remarks you've made following your remarks. I would like you to begin by identifying yourself, you know, technically, the group that you represent. And if you have written comments, I would appreciate having a copy at the close of your remarks so that we can have that to make sure that anything that is in the record is accurate and falls very closely. So we welcome you. And I'll let you identify yourself. SCHLENVOGT:Okay. Good morning. I'm Tim Schlenvogt. And I'm a Principal at Walter L. Becon Middle School in Brighton, Colorado. I'm also a Pastor of NASSP's Middle Level Committee. I want to thank you for soliciting our ideas and concerns, as you deliberate and develop the item and test specifications for the Voluntary National Eighth Grade Math Test. My comments represent my views as a middle school principal and former mathematics teacher and the thoughts of Sue Galletti who is the Director of Middle Level Services for NASSP. First, we believe that the instrument that is developed needs to be aligned with the curriculum that is taught. "Breaking Ranks: Changing an American Institution" which was published by NASSP in 1996 makes the following recommendation. "Assessment of student learning will align itself with the curriculum so that students' progress is measured by what's taught," echoes what Gary was speaking of earlier. This call for alignment is further called for in the "Draft Standards for National Board Certification of the Middle Childhood and Early Adolescence Mathematics Standards" which was published in April of 1997. And that is found on page 37. The previous quote I had from "Breaking Ranks" is found on page 11 in that article. At the same time, accomplished mathematics teachers advocate changes in accountability measures so that such indicators become more closely aligned with instruction in important mathematical outcomes and therefore more accurately portray student learning. Second, we believe that the instrument needs to encourage consistency of commitment to math reform recommendations. NCTM has developed high standards. One of the findings of the recent TIMSS study of eighth graders was that where instruction mirrors a reform recommendation, students do well. In fact, Japanese mathematics teaching more closely resembles the teaching envisioned by NCTM standards than does current U.S. teaching. A further finding is that most U.S. math teachers report familiarity with reform recommendations, although only a few apply the key points to their classrooms. NCTM practices have been validated by the TIMSS. We encourage that the Voluntary Test reflect the NCTM standards, include input from NCTM, and mirror reform recommendations. We believe that assessment of students needs to encourage instruction and curriculum that reflect the vision of these standards. Third, we believe that the instrument needs to emphasize high standards, encouraging our students to be competitive with students around the world. Test items need to discover the degree to which students are able to discover concepts and principles underlying important mathematical topics. They need to detect important relationships connecting content strands. And they need to use mathematical ideas and methods in significant application. Test items need to encourage that all students understand algebraic techniques and procedures for transforming and simplifying algebraic representations, as well as understanding how to reason about relations and how to draw inferences in solving problems. The test needs to encourage algebra for all students who exit the eighth grade. The test should be problem based rather than multiple choice. Fourth, we encourage that the Voluntary Test should not just be more testing. Too much time is already spent in classrooms currently preparing students for state standardized tests or district standardized testing at the expense of time spent on quality instruction. Teachers should be implementing reform recommendations in their classrooms, teaching students what has been collectively identified as what students need to know and be able to do in the area of mathematics. The test should measure the degree to which this has been accomplished. It should not just be one more tool to collect data which is not aligned with curriculum and instruction. We encourage that the Voluntary Test when developed to align with NCTM standards and instruction that responds to NCTM recommendations, become the state standardized test, replacing other state standardized math tests. We support the idea that there be easy to understand reports that would provide students, parents, and teachers with a sense of what students know and are able to do against high standards. We further encourage that end service be provided to schools on how to use the data to improve instruction. Ideally, the assessment will be tied to end service that ensures that schools are accountable and that all students perform all standards -- or at standard. States will consequently need to examine provision of resources that ensures that students are taught the standards that are expected. Regarding details of the test, we encourage the test be administered on two consecutive days. We support that calculators and manipulatives be used in keeping with the recommendations of NCTM. Finally, while we recognize the political necessity of the Voluntary Test being voluntary, we would encourage that after a given period of time during which the test is piloted, monitored, and adjusted to ensure alignment with reform recommendations and best teaching practices, the test become mandatory. If we indeed know what our students need to know and be able to do by the end of the eighth grade, and these standards are high, competitive, and agreed upon, we should expect that all students will be able to demonstrate that they have performed to standard. It is only by requiring the same test, if constructed correctly, that we will ensure that all students be provided an equitable and complete access to quality math instruction. Thank you for your consideration and your attention to all of the things that we brought forward. Are there any questions? DOSSEY: Yes, David. MANDEL: Yes. Well, thank you very much for your statement. I mean, I think it provides lots of good advice for the committee to wrestle with and to think through. And I think it also lines up well with some of the earlier deliberations that the committee has had. So I think you will have a good result. The one thing that I was curious about is early on, you said how important it was to align the test with the curriculum that is taught. And you also made a statement about being consistent with the current reforms and with the NCTM standards. SCHLENVOGT:Yes. MANDEL: We know that there are a range of curricula across the country that are taught. And sometimes, they are not so well aligned with these other things. And how do you think about that, or if it's on a chasm, at least that variation of that exists out there? And how can this committee think well about satisfying those two very sound and legitimate issues that you put on the table? SCHLENVOGT:It's been my experience that quite often, we as -- we who are in the classroom as a teacher, we have our little pet curriculums, things that we like to do, little topics of whatever it happens to be. I know that in our state, in the state of Colorado, one of the things that we are working on right now is meeting standards and benchmarks for curricula. The curriculum that happens needs to lead to whatever the assessment is. If we decide what the assessment is, we have our standards and benchmarks. And we have our assessment over here. Then, we figure out the things that happen to lead to that assessment. Teachers can do that. Even if it is a range or a variety of ways, it can still get to that. But then, teachers need to also be accountable for making sure that the things in all those little pet projects that happen internal in the classroom do indeed lead to some sort of authentic assessment. And if the authentic assessment is this Mathematics Test and it is indeed an authentic assessment of what kids know, then the curriculum will lead to that. And teachers will be accountable for that curriculum. I don't think our charge here is to devise a curriculum. The charge is to devise what the authentic assessment is. Many different curriculums will still lead to the same authentic assessment. And I think the variety or some of this disagreement from teacher to teacher as to what exactly is the best way to get a topic across to students to meet a particular assessment, that's okay, as long as it is leading to that assessment. And that's a little bit different than the way curriculums have been developed in the past. In the past, we've developed what the curriculum is. And then, we try to figure out what it is that we're testing, how we're going to test it, and how we determine whether it's been learned. Well, this is a little different. And it is coming from our benchmarks and standards, whatever they happen to be. And if you begin in a very concrete subject like mathematics, the natural evolution is that it will follow to other courses. And I think -- I don't know if I've answered your question, but I think in that process that the variety of different curriculums that are there, as long as they are meeting the authentic assessment is allowable. MANDEL: That answers it. DOSSEY: Are there any other questions? KIFER: I'm sure that you mentioned end service. And I don't know that we talked about that in this committee. And that is the business of how to help classroom teachers think about using the results of the assessment for better instruction. SCHLENVOGT:Yes. KIFER: Do you have ideas about who should do that? SCHLENVOGT:Well, it certainly can be developed at each individual building or each individual district. However, if there is the support of how to do the corrections, you know, the corrective action to make sure that kids are leading to that assessment or how to teach teachers how to meet and reflect on how -- what is the curriculum that is going to lead to that particular assessment as an end result, some sort of staff development, end service ideas that fit with that could certainly align with many of the other things that are currently being done to help teachers plan for leading to -- meeting standards and benchmarks in other subjects. And I know that we internally in Colorado have worked long and hard on that over the last two or three years of how do we help teachers reflect on student achievement and either do corrective actions to make sure that students accomplish that? And it can be done I believe, as an umbrella. Okay. Here are a menu of things that happen. Here's what you do. Here's a menu that you can check against. And if that information is supplied to each individual building administrators or teachers, I think all of us have the ability to pick and choose things that will help us do that. And a menu of things would certainly be an idea. I don't think it's the only idea. DOSSEY: I might mention that discussing end service is not one of the charges of this committee. SCHLENVOGT:Oh. DOSSEY: But I think it is important that people are aware that the Joint Working Group appointed by the President from the National Science Foundation and the Department of Education actually has a subgroup within that working group specifically dealing with the questions of faculty professional development, as well as public information about the need for that development. One of the things that will come out of the work of this committee as it really rolls forward to whatever contractor the government would pick to enact the design and specifications that we're responsible for, will be a development of a set of sample assessment materials that instructors may use, both to test and as a base. It could be used in the schools, a base for professional development. Or it also can be used as a teacher, as examples to actually supplement their curriculum as students prepare for the National Mathematics Test so that they're quite aware of the different forms of assessment that appear on that actual instrument. And such a book would be produced each year. So it would have student work so that teachers can actually see how rubrics are applied and see how students actually respond to questions and how that matches up with the objectives that those tests were written for. Gary. PHILLIPS: I have a comment and also a question, following up on what John just said. Again, as the test is being developed, there are many other initiatives in the Department, like the American Reach Challenge, the Math Initiative, and this joint group, working group. The committee efforts there or some efforts there will be focused on the National Test. And there will be resources of materials available as those groups work. And those will be connected to the National test in some way. We haven't gotten that worked out yet. But -- so I just want you to know that that is going to happen. And we're looking forward to the report from the working group. My question is, do you see some role, national role that we could play to -- for the end service and staff development, I mean, something that would be appropriate for the federal government to either support or think about or encourage, something like that? SCHLENVOGT:Definitely. I think -- PHILLIPS: What would that be? Can you think through that for a moment? SCHLENVOGT:Well, I think certainly by taking a stance and a position. That will help immensely, but then also to say here are some things that you can do in end service. As I suggested earlier, it may be the menu of items that you can do. I think the position, first of all, establishing the idea that this is a commitment that we're making nationally and letting folks know that this is not just another thing that is happening. PHILLIPS: Right. SCHLENVOGT:It's not another add-on. It's not something that this, too, shall pass, as is many said in classrooms by our peers at all levels. And something that is a long, long reaching or a far reaching commitment by the government, by the Department of Education and that that also networks down into state departments of education that this won't go away. This is going to be here. And we're going to work at it. And we're committed to it. DOSSEY: Skip. KIFER: Yes. Just to make the point that there may be a place where even though the Voluntary National Test isn't going to deal with end service, there may be a place where their interests dovetail. And I think that would be score reporting. And that is maybe worthwhile to think about, the kinds of reports that will tell, be available so the classroom teachers can look at patterns of performance across content areas or other kinds of domain. And that would be a different kind of report that one could get of individual student performance. So the report might be helpful. DOSSEY: Any other comments? (No response.) DOSSEY: Well, Tim, thank you very much. SCHLENVOGT:Thank you for your time. DOSSEY: And again, if you do have a set of your printed remarks, we would be glad to accept them. We would like to. Okay. Thank you. Do we have other groups that wish to address things and individuals? (Pause) BERRY:Good morning. I'm Fran Berry. I am currently a Principal Investigator with the Colorado Statewide Systemic Initiative. I serve on the board of directors of the National Council of Supervisors of Mathematics. And I'm currently -- and I'm formerly a middle school mathematics teacher. And I just wanted to address some of the information that I recently received regarding the National Test for Mathematics and a position of my involvement with NCSM as well as with our Statewide Systemic Initiative. First of all, we definitely the alignment with the mathematics framework for the 1996 National Assessment of Educational Progress. We support the wide distribution of items so that they are across the number sense, the 25 percent number sense, 15 percent to measurement, 25 percent in geometry, 15 percent in data analysis, statistics, and probability, and a 25 percent in algebra and functions. So that there is a balance of those items. At the same time, we would like for the committee to think seriously about the big ideas of mathematics and not be tempted to address these various issues -- these various topics with a lot of isolated items. So the big ideas of mathematics are being addressed. Secondly, as far as the form of the test items are concerned, we would like to see as many items as possible addressing student's conceptual understanding of mathematics and their ability to solve problems in meaningful contexts. This may involve some performance-based items, as well as constructed response. We would like to see -- because of our work in Colorado with looking at assessments from multiple measures, we're comfortable with having items that are a balance of multiple choice, short answer, but also to emphasize the need to have some performance items as well. As far as the question regarding calculators and the use of manipulatives, we would like to see unrestricted use of calculators and manipulatives for students, those that students could bring with them and those that they are most familiar and comfortable in using. And we would like to have some items on the National Test that would require the use of calculators so that we can see -- the effective use I should say of calculators so that we can see whether students are in fact using the calculators appropriately. Regarding your request for information on reports to parents on students in the community, we would like for those to highlight student's strengths as well as their weaknesses so that we have students who know. Perhaps, we could use the format that we've been using with the National Assessment for Educational Progress that students are told if they are proficient, advanced, or partially proficient in each of the five content areas related to the ideas of mathematics. The time framing for the test, we have been involved with the Connecticut State assessment program in looking at how can we provide time for middle school students and within a period of time. So I would strongly suggest that you not consider one 90-minute session, having worked with eighth grade students for many years. It's hard to keep their attention for 45 minutes, much less 90 minutes. So that would be one suggestion, if you're going to look at two 45-minute blocks in order to be able to assess the mathematics that would be in there and at the same time, to provide flexibility for those students who need accommodations, for instance, students who could have the test read to them. Things that are normally accommodated for them in their regular instruction could be accommodated for them during the test. The other thing is, having been involved as a middle school teacher during the development and piloting of the new standards projects assessment items in my eighth grade classroom, I found that students needed in some cases an incentive to know that they were participating in something that was important. I'm not sure how you could possibly do that, other than the fact of telling them that it's important. But the idea of thinking about what could students do to be supported in doing the best they possibly can. I was teaching -- I happened to be teaching in a suburban school. And it wasn't quite an issue as those of my colleagues who were teaching in more urban centers. I also wanted to mention something about what Tim was talking about as far as the professional development component. With our statewide systemic initiative over the past several years, we have been involved in providing professional development opportunities for elementary, middle school, and high school teachers centered around performance-based assessment. And we have found that using the assessment as a tool for professional development has been a tremendous impact in classroom instruction. We not only gathered data on how well students did on the assessment, but at the same time, we involved teachers in actually scoring assessments, providing them with examples of assessment items and student work. And the dialogue that occurs during those professional development activities has a tremendous impact on what happens as far as instructionally in the classroom. Because once teachers see what students are asked to do and once they actually look at student work, it has tremendous impact on how they, in fact, deliver instruction to their classrooms. I actually have no other comments. But if you would like to ask questions, I'm more than willing to answer them. DOSSEY: I would like to ask you to be a little more explicit about distinctions you would make between student constructed response and performance items. What types of items do you consider performance items? We're facing the potential of developing a test that, you know, at some point could be taken by 3 million students. So the questions of distribution of materials and such, are paramount in that situation, as well as the types of extra load that we might be placing on classroom teachers who in that situation are being able to deal with the actual development to administer an exam on such a broad scale. I would like just to hear you talk a little bit about the kinds of performance items you would like to see us providing as part of the National Mathematics Test. BERRY:The difficulty I know that you're facing is the same difficulty that we face in any type of assessment development. And that is to get at those rich, meaningful, problem situations, and to have kids actually look at big ideas requires more than a 45-minute class period. So far as the development of the actual items in the test itself in thinking about five strands of mathematics, big ideas, 90 minutes and me mentioning performance assessment, I'm thinking what a daunting task you have in front of you. I would still, however, like to support the idea of having a form of some sort of item or items that would require students to have to think through a problem and then actually record their thinking, explore various avenues of reaching their final answer, response in that. The assessment which I'm most familiar that we've been giving to students themselves, one performance item takes 45 minutes. We have some items that may be 15 minutes. But as far as getting to the deeper mathematics, the big ideas, that item itself takes 45 minutes. So I realize the impossibility of trying to do everything on one test. However, if in fact there is a subcommittee that is looking at professional development, I think that would be an avenue in which you could provide some opportunities for students -- for people and teachers and students, to perhaps pilot some items, to have some information you could have back on what it requires to do a longer test. I really don't have an answer, John, on how you can do both easily, other than the fact that I would like to see some balance so that it's just not a multiple choice and short answer, but also some constructed response. And given the time frame, probably 15 minutes is the most you could have for the constructed response to get to those five areas. DOSSEY: Are you familiar with the extended constructed response items that were given as part of the NAEP assessments? BERRY:Yes. DOSSEY: Are those a step in the direction that you're talking about? BERRY:I think they are. I think they are, yes. DOSSEY: Gary. BERRY:Yes, Gary. PHILLIPS: You mentioned that you would like to see the test divided into two 45-minute sessions. Do you have a view about whether or not it should be the same day or on separate days? Would it be acceptable to have like one in the morning and one in the afternoon? There is a test security issue that has to be dealt with. BERRY:There is a test security issue. There is also the issue of impacting student's schedule within the middle school. And that's, the balance between that. I mean, the middle school in which I taught, I was given a 45-minute class period to work with students. And granted, I had all those. I had 150 students over the course of the day. But to think about trying to assess all 150 students in two 45-minute blocks on the same day, I'm just trying to think how I could have gotten my teammates to help me do that because, you know, it would have impacted what we had done that day. And I think there would have been the reasonability of doing that. If you were going to think along those lines, I would suggest that you do, you know, a sample. First sample the section A in the morning and section B in the afternoon and a second sample of kids hopefully that have the same demographics or the same ability level. And then, switch it around so that they have sample B in the morning and sample A in the afternoon. PHILLIPS: But would it be an examination nightmare if we had the test 45 minutes in the morning and 45 minutes in the afternoon? Or would it -- we have to think about thousands of schools taking this test. BERRY:Exactly. PHILLIPS: Would it be -- I know that when the committee was thinking about this, they were recommending or considering having 45 minutes on two separate days, if I remember correctly. DOSSEY: Right. BERRY:Well, when you talk about test security, are you thinking you would give them the entire test and let them work as far as they could in 45 minutes? PHILLIPS: Well -- BERRY:Or are you going to have two separate packages? PHILLIPS: No, if we had two separate days, we have to have the test divided into two parts. BERRY:Right. PHILLIPS: And part one would be administered on one day. And part two would be kept secure probably in a bundle, shrink-wrapped, things like that. BERRY:Yes. PHILLIPS: Which would be opened the second day. BERRY:Right. PHILLIPS: So there are ways around it, but it does, you know -- it just increases the likelihood of some problem, but -- BERRY:I think you're right, it increases the likelihood. But I think the structure -- and I was in a large school. I had -- we had 1,200 students in seventh and eighth grade. So we had 600 eighth graders who would be taking this assessment. And so the impact on the school I think would be quite a scheduling problem. I don't want to say nightmare, but quite a scheduling problem to do the assessment in the morning and afternoon on the same day because you just have to stop the schooling for the day. And I think that may be something that you want to get feedback from more teachers than just myself. PHILLIPS: Right. BERRY:Personally, I would prefer knowing the eighth graders that I had, 45 minutes one day and 45 minutes the next. PHILLIPS: So if we had that and then, let's say, maybe one day make-up and that's it, do you think that would do it? (Laughter) BERRY:I don't know that you could limit it to one day of make-up because if you have a student whose absent both days, then that -- if they're not there the third day, then you're saying they just don't take the test at all. PHILLIPS: No. BERRY:I mean, that's a possibility. PHILLIPS: Again, it's a security issue. BERRY:Security, I understand that. PHILLIPS: The students who are taking the make-up, the test will be out and -- BERRY:The students taking the make-up I would assume, then they would take both sessions the same day when they return, one in the morning and one in the afternoon. That would keep you at a three days maximum if that's what you were thinking of. DOSSEY: David. MANDEL: Just to add to the logistical -- (Laughter) MANDEL: In the schools that you're familiar with across Colorado -- BERRY:Yes. MANDEL: How does the scheduling of this all play out with your interest in having calculators available? And is that an issue at all? Or is that a non-issue? And the second part of that is if you can just a little more, cite the logistics of this about why you advocate unrestricted use of calculators? I mean, I sort of -- I know some of the arguments. And I also know there are counter arguments. BERRY:Yes. MANDEL: And so from your perspective, how do you think about that and if you can also say something about if there is any logistical issue around your interest in having the unrestricted use of calculators and the various scheduling arrangements that might occur? BERRY:Well, I'll talk about the unrestricted use first and then the scheduling piece. As far as the unrestricted use, I think to second to what Tim had said earlier, and that is the fact that we are talking about supporting the reform efforts that have been forth by the National Council of Teachers in Mathematics. And so in having unrestricted use of calculators on the exam, as well as having items that call for the effective use of calculators, you are in fact delivering a very strong message about what are the important things that should be taught to students and what should be required in their learning. If in fact the test items don't require the use of calculators, then you begin to question, you know, why have them at all? But if you have items therefore that are problem situations in which the mathematics and the level to which the mathematics can be addressed requires the use of calculators, then you're saying that this is the kind of mathematics we want all kids to have access to by the time they're in eighth grade. And so therefore, the unrestricted use of calculators. I also understand how that could possibly mean in some classrooms, not only in Colorado, but across the country. And that is the fact that they may not have calculators available for all students. And the students themselves may not have access to calculators. So you've opened the Pandora's box of equity. And so do you in fact provide calculators for students to use on an assessment if they don't have the use of them in their schools? The schools in which I taught, I have to be honest and say that as an advocate for that type of unrestricted use of calculators, we had classroom sets of calculators for students who didn't have their own. So it wasn't a matter of them having to have a certain calculator or not being allowed to use a calculator they brought from home. But the calculators were always available whenever they felt that they needed them. And I know that does not exist in some schools. And so that's the issue around the manipulatives as well. If you're going to provide an assessment for students that need manipulatives, they may not have manipulatives in school. And so that's something that needs to be packaged with the assessment when it comes delivered to the schools. DOSSEY: If the exam was given at one hour, say, during a day, do you feel that there would be enough? And given the fact that perhaps not every student has a personal calculator, but the school has calculators to be used in a classroom, is it a possibility or do you foresee it as a problem that by bringing all the math students at one hour, that you would actually be removing them from access of the school calculators? BERRY:Yes, I mean, when I talk about classroom set, to have 35 calculators but 150 students, if there were three other eighth grade teachers, that's not enough calculators to cover all the kids. DOSSEY: Clarence. MILLER: Yes. We had addressed the idea of motivation of students. BERRY:Yes. MILLER: How do we motivate eighth grade students? BERRY:Well, if I had that answer, I would be on the road. (Laughter) BERRY:You know, I really don't have a simple answer for that one. I know that there have been some suggestions from NCTM to consider perhaps a presidential scholar, you know, kids who do well. And I think that you have those kinds of things that work, that can work for some students. I'm not sure that it would work for all, especially in areas where academic achievement is not valued. So -- and I'm not sure that publishing results by school -- at least we know about the Sunshine Law in Colorado. And you rank schools and rank students. That hasn't been something that has motivated the students to do well. I think that what we have to really think about is how do we work with the teachers through professional development or through the release of the items that then allows the teachers to change what's happening in the classroom if students feel that they can do well on the assessment. It's not something that impossible. DOSSEY: Wayne. MARTIN: Fran, if we go back over this question for a minute. BERRY:Yes. (deleted) (Sample 4) MYERS: A couple of quick things. First of all, as you know -- at 4:00 p.m. today in the OEOB the different departments will meet on radiation. There will be representatives there from Veterans, Defense, Energy, OMB, Justice, NASA and HHS, as well as White House officials. It is being coordinated by Phil Lader and Christine Varney. Mark Gearan will also attend that meeting and be here in the briefing room sometime, probably between 5:00 p.m. and 5:30 p.m. for a readout. VOICE: Can we have a little photo op? MYERS: No, probably not, but I'll take it and see if we want to do that. And perhaps a White House photo, but I'm not sure we can turn it around quick enough. So we'll take a look at that and let you know. VOICE: What's this again? (Laughter.) MYERS: This is the radiation meeting. You know, there's been this issue -- (laughter.) VOICE: Will the President drop in? MYERS: I think it's unlikely. It's still possible. It's not on his schedule. He said that he may drop by. He may choose to do that, but I think it will probably be conducted on a staff level. And then I just thought a little readout from this morning's health care meeting -- VOICE: Before you do that, can I ask who Markey was meeting with? MYERS: Markey came over -- I'm not sure who all he met with, but he did -- as you know, he produced a report -- his office produced a report on this issue sometime ago. Many of the issues that are now being discussed were covered in that report, and he came over here to talk with some White House officials about what his -- VOICE: Why is the CIA not at this meeting today? Because there has been some information from Markey and others that the CIA is not being as cooperative as some of these other agencies in releasing their information. MYERS: I'm not sure why they're not there, but I'll certainly take the question and find out if they were ever part of this process and what the status of that is. VOICE: Does the President agree with what Secretary O'Leary said about compensation? What is the latest thinking about whether compensation should be made to all who have been affected, including -- MYERS: Well, I think that's the goal of this meeting, is to find out -- to begin a fact-finding process to find out exactly what the status is, what the state of play is and then begin to make decisions about how best to proceed. I think if there were injustices rendered that need to look at compensation, the President certainly believes that. But I think at this point I think the process needs to move forward with the fact-finding. VOICE: Did the White House give O'Leary the go-ahead before she made this promise to compensate victims? MYERS: I think it's been something that she's been working on at the DOE. Certainly the President -- part of what initiated this process was the President's directive last year to begin declassification of documents, something he certainly supports. I think we'll see where the process goes from here. VOICE: But did she go to the White House first and ask permission before she came out publicly with this? MYERS: No, I think -- I'm not sure that she asked for permission, but it is something that she's discussed with White House officials. VOICE: Did she notify the White House in advance of the amount that she was going to make? MYERS: Of the compensation? VOICE: Well, the first part -- and separately, the conversation. MYERS: Yes, yes. I'm not sure about the compensation but it's certainly -- because I'm not sure what the exact chronology was. But it's certainly something that she's been in discussion about, as she is about a number of issues that they're undertaking at DOE. VOICE: Could you give us a health care readout? MYERS: Sure. As you know, the President called together the working group on health care today to kick off the new year. I can -- what we'll do is post the list of -- I guess you guys saw the attendees. We don't need to do that. He began by thanking the Cabinet members for their work on health care over the previous year, and for the appearances that many of them made, particularly in the last few months since the President announced the health care plan in September. He talked about the importance of continuing to coordinate closely between agencies, about the importance of the initiative, about getting health care passed this year, about the absolute immutability of universal coverage and comprehensive benefits that can never be taken away. The First Lady, I think, underscored that. She talked about the importance of coordination and consultation between the various agencies. And I think they talked about a number of areas where coordination is particularly important on a policy level, on a legislative level -- as all the different agencies will have legislative liaisons on the Hill working the various committees and members of Congress who will be key players on this. They talked about communications, making sure that we all work together on a communications level, and outreach to various constituencies who will be affected by health care reform. The First Lady suggested that there should be regular meetings of this working group, which is something that's been fairly regular throughout the previous year and will certainly be intensified this year -- and I think talked a little bit about -- the President talked a little bit about how health care would fit into his overall domestic agenda for the coming year; how important it is both to the continued economic recovery, to other initiatives -- everything from worker training to welfare reform; how all of those initiatives fit together; how health care reform is central to achieving other points of the President's domestic agenda. The meeting lasted about 50 minutes. VOICE: How many agencies would be involved in this consultation-coordination? And obviously, that were not involved before. And how many lobbyists does that mean on the Hill for the administration if each agency sends people up? MYERS: Well, the Cabinet agencies that were represented today -- the Secretaries who were there were Bentsen, Shalala, Ron Brown, Jesse Brown, Reich, Riley, Reno, Cisneros; the Vice President, obviously, was there and Laura Tyson. So those are just the various Cabinet members that were present at the meeting. Each of those agencies has had and will continue to have a role in health care reform. VOICE: They will be the ones who will be consulting? MYERS: Sure, as part of the overall working group. I think our strategy is to work collectively, to have a collective strategy that deals with both the policy issues as well as the legislative issues. There will be a number of committees. I think that still remains to be seen in the Senate. There are three primary committees in the House, plus additional committees that will be -- have primary jurisdiction over the health care bill. And then there will certainly be other committees that will have different pieces of it. So there will be no shortage of members of Congress involved, and certainly the administration wants to work closely with them. VOICE: Did anyone in this meeting sit down and give the President an objective assessment of where Congress is on this issue right now? MYERS: No. I think that's something that we've certainly followed very closely last year and continuing to evolve. I think that there is generally optimism that this is something the President believes that we can get done this year. It is something that we have no illusions that it will be a very difficult fight. It's a complicated issue, and one that affects one-seventh of the domestic economy. I think that generally the assessments were that people are ready to buckle down and to work very hard to get this done this year, and that Congress is also willing to go along. But it's going to be a tough fight. VOICE: The President spoke about the need for crime, for education, job training and health care reform, but didn't say anything about welfare reform in his agenda for this new year that he outlined -- MYERS: He did touch on it in the radio address. I think it's certainly something -- health care reform is certainly a component of welfare reform. It's something the President has always said that until you can guarantee people the same benefits by working that they now receive by being on welfare, then you can't either get them to move from welfare to work or keep them working -- unless they have a guarantee that their children will be provided for, that their families will provided for. So it's certainly an important component of welfare reform. But the President will also have a comprehensive welfare reform package this year. VOICE: Does that mean -- just to go back -- that until health care reform, really the outline of the deal is struck, there's no sense in going ahead with welfare reform -- to delay welfare reform for the time being? MYERS: No, I don't want to say that. There are certainly -- but health care is an important component of welfare reform, just as the earned income tax credit which was passed last year is an important component of welfare reform. But the President will come forward with a comprehensive welfare reform proposal, and we'll have to see exactly how the sequencing and timing of that works out. VOICE: You're not saying January anymore? MYERS: I think -- I'm not sure that we'll have the whole comprehensive package. I think it's something that the President will certainly address in the State of the Union on the 25th. VOICE: Mrs. Clinton talked about the human working groups this group is going to need. Does she mean at the Cabinet level? Are they actually going to spend their time rather than their deputies? MYERS: No, I think there's certainly be -- I think this group will be convened periodically, but the majority of the work will be done at an assistant level: assistant secretaries, deputy secretaries, other staff members. VOICE: The President said beyond universal coverage he's willing to talk about the details when he was asked about compromise. It seems like an awfully early time for him to be responding that way and agreeing to compromise. MYERS: That's been our position for months, that the two components of this that we're absolutely not able to compromise on were universal coverage and comprehensive benefits that can't be taken away. That's not a new position. VOICE: That's right, he's reiterated his willingness to compromise beyond that point. I'm wondering why, before the fight is even underway, he's talking compromise. MYERS: Well, I think we've outlined a very comprehensive, detailed health care plan -- one that addresses everything from financing to the specific benefits included in the package. As we move into a debate in Congress, I think that the onus will be on other people with other plans now to be as detailed, to be as comprehensive as the President has been. So far we haven't seen that from any of the other plans. I think at that point, once other people have put forward the specific details of their financing, where the money's going to come from, or have outlined the specific benefits that will be covered in their packages, we can discuss how best to go about it. I think when the President made the announcement of the health care package, he said he didn't come down from the mountain with the stone tablets. That's certainly our posture. What we did do was put together what we think is the best plan, the most comprehensive plan, and it should be a benchmark in terms of specificity. VOICE: Have you seen any one thing he likes in any of these other plans? MYERS: I think there are a lot of elements that are shared. A couple of the plans include universal coverage. Others include elements that he likes. I still think that the President's view is that his plan is the best plan; that's why he put it forward. Certainly things like the employer mandate looked at a number of ways of providing universal coverage. He thinks that's the best. But as the process goes forward, we're certainly going to debate this and look at a number of other ideas. VOICE: Can you give us some sense of how the President's preparing for his trip to Europe? MYERS: He's going to be spending a lot of time this week in briefings, both at a staff level. He has a couple of briefings today at a -- VOICE: Who is briefing him? MYERS: He has one with the Joint Chiefs this afternoon, and most of them are done at staff level. Tony Lake is coordinating a series of briefings. I believe -- there are certainly people from the State Department who will be participating. Strobe Talbott was here this morning for a briefing. I believe Secretary Christopher is here part of this afternoon. But mostly it's NSC, State Department officials. He'll also meet with some outside people -- has a dinner tonight -- I mean, tomorrow night with outside experts to talk just generally about -- VOICE: With Kissinger -- MYERS: I don't have a list, but we can certainly see if we can provide that for you. So there will be a -- VOICE: You'll find out what -- all parts of it, or NATO? MYERS: Different parts of it. There are, obviously, a number of different parts, and I think the -- outsiders will represent a variety of different areas of expertise. Today, he's looking at some overall -- sort of the overall trip. That was this morning. There will be a meeting to look at NATO and one to look at Central Europe. Certainly he'll spend time discussing Russia as well as the Middle East, in preparation for the meeting. VOICE: Does he have decisions to make? I mean, the policy is, as has been described by State Department briefers in recent days in terms of the balance between Partnership for Peace and the Russian involvement. Those decisions have been made or does he actually have decision-making meetings? MYERS: Most of the decisions in reference to the trip have been made. So this is to bring him up to speed on all the details of the schedule. Certainly, he's got a number of bilaterals, he's got a number of multilateral meetings to prepare him for the substance of those meetings so that he can have thoughtful, meaningful conversations just to continue to bring him up. VOICE: He's not for taking Poland, Hungary and the Czech Republic into NATO at this time? MYERS: The Partnership for Peace establishes a vehicle for evolution, for full participation. And it is, I think, a truly historic initiative, and one that we'll be discussing after the NATO summit. We will start briefings for you all perhaps as early as tomorrow, but definitely by Wednesday, and we'll do a number on a number of different issues from, again, NATO, Central Europe, Russia, Belarus, and then probably what's going to happen in Geneva. VOICE: Can we get a briefing with Strobe? MYERS: I think he was one of the briefers, and I'm hopeful that that will not change, given his new responsibilities. VOICE: He's much too important now. MYERS: He's a veritable Bigfoot now. (Laughter.) VOICE: Do decisions have to be made on a specific aid package? Is a new aid package being announced in Moscow? MYERS: I don't think so. No. VOICE: We're not going there with any type of new -- MYERS: No. I mean, the purpose of it I think is to continue to work with the Russians to encourage them on the road to democratic and market economic reforms, and to talk about a number of ways we can help them in that transition. But I don't expect the President to announce any major new aid package. VOICE: How do we encourage them? I mean, what incentives do we offer? MYERS: Well, part of it has been outlined before in helping to make sure that the aid that we've already promised gets delivered efficiently, working with them on a number of -- everything from economic cooperation to a number of initiatives that we've already talked about -- environmental, other economic, energy -- just to continue to move forward on those kinds of initiatives. And we can certainly have more details on exactly the content of those meetings as we move a little bit closer to it. VOICE: What does the President expect to get out of this trip? MYERS: I think in NATO, I think we plan to underscore that this is still the most important geopolitical relationship to the United States -- and certainly NATO has been the most effective such partnership in history -- and that it will continue to be the central organization for our relationships in Europe. We'll also meet with leaders from the EU to continue to discuss ways to increase our economic relationship with Europe. Then we'll move on to Prague where we'll continue to work with the Central European countries, the Visegrad countries, in their transitions to democracy. We want to continue to encourage them and to help them in their transition. And then on to Russia -- same thing. Certainly the stop in Minsk will underscore, among other things, the importance of their initiatives to denuclearize. And then on to Geneva. VOICE: Back to Moscow. Is there any change of heart in meeting with Zhirinovsky? MYERS: No schedule -- no plans to meet with Zhirinovsky. VOICE: On that point, in July, even before the election in Japan, the President went out of his way to meet with opposition leaders, including the man who became the Prime Minister. Why would he go to Moscow immediately following an election that signaled a lot of opposition to the guy we've thrown in with and not see anyone? Not even -- it wouldn't have to be Zhirinovsky. MYERS: We're not -- that is incorrect. We are seeing other people, certainly. VOICE: Who are they? MYERS: We will have a more detailed schedule, but we will certainly meet with other members of Parliament, members of the democratic -- other democrats there who aren't necessarily Yeltsin supporters. I think we fully expect to expand out contacts while in Moscow. That's part of the reason for the trip. VOICE: Isn't it unusual that you're kind of not -- you're not going to meet with the person who is considered the key -- the biggest opposition leader? And you've said, leading up to this trip, of course, you plan to meet with all opposition leaders. MYERS: Well, I don't know that he's the key. I don't think that's necessarily our assessment. VOICE: Well, 25 percent -- MYERS: Twenty-five percent of one portion of the vote does not reflect his strength in the Duma. Certainly there are a lot of other forces there, which is why we, again, are going to expand our contacts and meet with some other folks while we're in Russia. But I think many of the views that Zhirinovsky had expressed are an anathema to what we believe, and at this point we have no plans to meet with him. VOICE: To meet -- MYERS: We just have no -- absolutely. VOICE: Has he asked for a meeting with the President? MYERS: Not that I know of. VOICE: When you say, "we're meeting with these democrats," you mean Clinton? MYERS: Yes. I'm sorry, we -- pretty much me and Don and -- (laughter.) VOICE: What happens in the end? MYERS: We have no plans to meet with him. I don't expect that that will change. VOICE: Has Zhirinovsky requested a meeting with you or any of the advisers? MYERS: Again -- just asked that question, and the answer is, not that I know of. I don't think there have been any requests from Zhirinovsky or his people for a meeting. VOICE: Will there be meetings with members of any parties outside the two reformist parties? MYERS: We'll have a more complete list now, but I do expect us to expand. VOICE: Nonreformist? MYERS: I think it will be confined mostly to reformists. But, again, I'll wait until we have a more complete list. VOICE: Do you expect him to see President Kravchuk in Moscow? MYERS: I believe there will be some meetings, not with -- are you sure? We'll have to get back to you on that. I'll take that question. VOICE: Dee Dee, has the President spoken with anyone in the Israeli government, and is he concerned about the Middle East peace process at this point? MYERS: He has not spoken to anybody in the last, certainly recently. The question is, has the President spoken to anybody in the Israeli government, and is he concerned about the peace process. With regard to the peace process, obviously he is interested in seeing the principles in the declaration implemented, we're continuing to encourage the parties there to work toward that. As you know, they are continuing, some point, face-to-face meetings in Egypt, and we certainly expect that process to go forward, and we'll do what we can to encourage it to go forward. VOICE: Dole and Gingrich yesterday both called for an appointment of a special prosecutor in the Whitewater case. Does the White House think that would be appropriate at this time, and do you think that the Republicans have just seen a political opening here and are trying to take advantage of it? MYERS: Yes, I think -- yes. The Republicans would be political? I find that hard to believe. (Laughter.) Yes, I do think it's not a coincidence that people who have been staunch opponents of reauthorizing special prosecutor statute -- independent prosecutor statute -- are now calling for an independent prosecutor. I don't think that's that hard to figure out. At this point, we have taken the initiative and turned over all of the -- VOICE: No, you haven't yet, have you? MYERS: I'm sorry, we have not. We're in the process -- they're being catalogued and will be turned over within the next couple of weeks. VOICE: Why catalogued? MYERS: There's actually quite a bit of documents, and this includes campaign files, personal files, things -- there's quite a bit, and we just want to make sure that it's catalogued as complete and we will hand it over to the Justice Department. VOICE: Dee Dee, is it also not a coincidence that someone -- that people who said that this administration have always supported an independent council law would now be resisting it? MYERS: I don't think we're resisting it. It's not up to us to make that decision. The Attorney General said today that she wasn't going to appoint a special prosecutor, but I think that there's no -- first of all, we handed over the Whitewater documents in support of an ongoing investigation in the Madison Guaranty. There is no other investigation that we know of, ongoing, and I don't think we have anything to add to what we've already said about this. VOICE: To whom are you giving these documents if they weren't requested? MYERS: We turned them over -- VOICE: Which office -- MYERS: -- of our own initiative, but we will turn them over to the Justice Department. VOICE: to the people pursuing -- MYERS: Madison. VOICE: You haven't turned them over yet? MYERS: We're in the process. We've made clear our intention to turn them over. VOICE: It's going to take a few more weeks? MYERS: It will take a couple of weeks. VOICE: Who is doing this cataloging? MYERS: It's being coordinated, I believe, by the White House Counsel's Office, but I will take that question and make sure. VOICE: Are these the files that were in his private lawyer's -- MYERS: Some of them are in the private lawyer's, some of them are -- VOICE: Why would the House Counsel's Office be overseeing that? MYERS: I'm taking the question. I think that they're playing a role, but I'm not sure that they're the ultimate point person. VOICE: How many documents are you talking about? Like boxes -- MYERS: I don't know. I think that there are some documents -- campaign -- as you know, we went through this once in the campaign. There are a number of files there. Most of it is public -- a lot of it, I'm sure, in those files is public information, things that were collected through the campaign. VOICE: Did you finish your answer to Gwen? You said some of them were in the custody of private lawyers, some are -- who has the rest? MYERS: Some are in the campaign, and I think that's it. VOICE: So there's none here now? MYERS: No, those were turned over. VOICE: Dee Dee, does the President still support the reauthorization of the independent counsel law? MYERS: Yes. VOICE: Why does he think that's a good law? What is the purpose? MYERS: He believes that it helps provide independent inquiry and has -- VOICE: In what kind of cases? MYERS: Cases of alleged public corruption, I suppose. He hasn't said a whole lot about that. I think that the parameters of the statute are pretty obvious. VOICE: Dee Dee, a number of us have asked on various occasions whether, in fact, Mrs. Clinton got the power of attorney she requested over Whitewater. Can you answer that question for us now, and if not, why not? MYERS: I failed to find out the answer to that. I'm not sure, Deborah, and I'll have to take it and get back to you. VOICE: Have you asked Mrs. Clinton's people? I mean, it's a simple question. MYERS: I just don't have an answer for you, I'm sorry. I apologize. I will take the question. VOICE: What is the position regarding making these documents, once they have been catalogued, public, available to all of us? MYERS: We're going to hand them over to the Justice Department and have no plans to make them public. VOICE: Why is that? MYERS: We'll let the Justice Department review them. VOICE: Why not make them public? Wouldn't that just clear the air entirely? MYERS: Again, I would just emphasize that there is no investigation ongoing -- we turned over these documents in support of an investigation into a savings and loan. There is no investigation. There is no allegations of impropriety with reference to the Clintons. VOICE: No, but there certainly is an air of questions -- MYERS: We voluntarily handed these over to the Justice Department -- are in the process of handing these over to the Justice Department, and we think that that's sufficient. And I have nothing else to say about this. VOICE: Is the President ready to normalize relationships with Vietnam? MYERS: As you know, the President has maintained that that is contingent on progress on POW and MIA issues. Certainly there has been some progress and we've taken a couple of steps -- or took a couple of steps last year, allowing IFI funding and allowing American companies to participate in some of those projects. Further change in the relationship will be contingent on additional progress. Win Lord came back from Vietnam; it was a good trip, a productive trip. And we're still reviewing the status of that. VOICE: Is the White House looking into evidence that American POWs or MIAs may have been held by Laos after the war was over? MYERS: That's something that's been looked into, but as you know, the criteria we have for progress -- there are four areas, and one of them is the trilateral relationship, Vietnam, the U.S., and Laos. So it's always been something that we felt was an important part of our sort of progress, of guaranteeing progress, and something that we'll be looking at. But none of this information, I don't think, is really new. VOICE: Do you have any comment on the government in Mexico -- VOICE: But that's not the point. MYERS: No. I think, certainly they're handling it there. (Laughter.) VOICE: I don't think it's correct to say that none of the information is new. We're saying for the first time that U.S. intelligence officials may have been aware that there was as many as 300 POWs in Laos and that -- I mean, in the same way that you're going back through the files and finding out who knew what about radiation experiments, are you not going back and trying to figure out who knew what about POWs? MYERS: There were a number of congressional inquiries into this. I think the files were looked at. I don't want to suggest that there won't be new evidence coming to light, but -- and I think the officials at the time were fairly extensively interviewed and testified as to this. But I want to make it clear that the trilateral relationship between Laos, Vietnam and the U.S. is an important part of our furthering relationships with Vietnam, and anything that's new will be, I'm sure, reviewed. VOICE: But you're not going back to make sure that there's not new information or there's no information that perhaps has never come to light? MYERS: I'll have to take that and see exactly what, if anything, is being done about that right now. VOICE: Could you explain the current situation with North Korea? MYERS: There's been no change in that, and dialogue is ongoing. We think that there has been some progress, but dialogue is ongoing and our criteria has not changed. VOICE: It's now a month after the IEA suggested it had to know within weeks, had to inspect within weeks. What's the state of the urgency now? Where are we now in terms of being able to continue to certify North Korea does not have nuclear weapons? MYERS: Well, there's been no certification of a break in inspection. I think, again, that we feel like we've made some progress in the dialogue. The dialogue is ongoing and we're continuing to move forward on that. I think, again, we continue to insist on full inspections. We think we're going to get inspections. And we will continue to work with the North Koreans as we work toward final resolution of this. But again, I wouldn't suggest that it all has been completed, but I think there is some -- has been some progress. VOICE: If I can follow, since we have not inspected and since the time continues to pass, where's the progress? MYERS: The progress is in the dialogue. VOICE: Then where was the initial urgency to inspect? MYERS: I think that there is still a sense of urgency attached to this. I don't think we ever attached a deadline to it. We certainly didn't, and I don't remember hearing the IAEA attach a specific deadline to it. I think that the dialogue has been ongoing, there have been a number of meetings in New York between North Korea and the U.S. on this. As those meetings have progressed, there has been some progress. We do believe, as Secretary Christopher said last week, that we're moving toward inspection. That's important and there's been no -- we believe there has been continuity, and at this time we're going to continue to press for a resolution. And we think we're making progress toward that. VOICE: What about the deal that Kim was talking about in his New Year's radio address, saying that the North Koreans had reached some sort of agreement with the United States? MYERS: I think that's the status of the dialogue now. I think we're still in dialogue, so I don't want to suggest that it's completed. But I think as President Kim sort of indicated, that there will be inspections. VOICE: But we have made a deal? MYERS: We're not there yet. VOICE: There was a report this morning from South Korea saying that IAEA inspectors could get into North Korea as soon as January 10th. Is that consistent with the progress you mentioned or -- MYERS: I don't have any specific deadlines, other than to say that the discussions are ongoing. VOICE: Has the White House received the Justice Department's report on Pollard? MYERS: Not yet. VOICE: Do you anticipate it this week? MYERS: I think the Attorney General wanted to comment and ask -- said that hers wouldn't be ready until after today -- until at least the 3rd. So I think we expect it soon, although we don't have any specific deadlines. It could come as soon as this week. VOICE: What's the focus of the Thursday speech? MYERS: On Thursday, the President goes back to the Pabst Theater in Milwaukee where he gave his democracy speech in October of '92, toward the latter months of the campaign. This will be, I think, also about looking forward to the European trip, talking about the importance of Europe, Central Europe, Eastern Europe in our geopolitical view and our continuing efforts to build on NATO and the European union. So it will sort of foreshadow, I think, in many ways why the American people should care about this, how does it affect the United States. VOICE: Day trip? MYERS: It's a day trip. He'll go to Milwaukee in the morning, give the speech, I believe at 11:00 a.m. or 11:30 a.m., meet with some local leaders there and then come back by evening. VOICE: What's the coverage of the meeting with the local leaders? It's not like a town meeting? MYERS: No, no. It will be private meetings. It's conceivable we could do a pool spray, but I don't think we've decided that yet. VOICE: Who is this to? MYERS: The speech is to -- it's at the Pabst Theater and it's sort of foreign relations organization, different ethnic groups and people that will come. It's sort of a community-wide -- it's not any particular organization, but just organizations that will invite both their members and their friends. The theater holds a couple of hundred people. VOICE: How about tomorrow, the CIA? MYERS: Let me give you the week ahead here. Tomorrow, 10:15 a.m., he will be at the CIA in the lobby of the headquarters where he will speak briefly to employees. Then he will -- VOICE: Is that open coverage? MYERS: Yes, it will be open coverage, yes. VOICE: What's the subject? MYERS: The subject will be -- VOICE: Can't talk about it. (Laughter.) MYERS: I think generally about thanking them for their work, about the importance of intelligence in a changing world, and just sort of welcoming them to the Clinton team. (Laughter.) Periodically, he has gone to a number of different agencies and spoken to employees. As you recall, he's been to Justice and Treasury and other places not only to talk to them about issues of concern, but to talk to them about his views a little bit since they are now part of the Clinton team. VOICE: Is he going to lay out his vision of the role of intelligence? MYERS: No. (Laughter.) VOICE: How many minutes? MYERS: It's about 20 minutes. VOICE: A 20-minute speech? MYERS: Yes. VOICE: Is this the first time he's been to the CIA? MYERS: I believe this is the first time as President, and I don't know if he'd ever been there before. I don't know. MYERS: But he will certainly talk -- I just wouldn't look for this to be a major policy overview of the importance of intelligence. It's more of a periodic view, and then he will be briefed privately out of the view of your eyes and ears. Then he will have lunch with the Vice President. At 5:00 p.m. he will meet with Prime Minister Lubbers of Holland. That will be followed by a written readout. There's a photo op at the top -- pool spray at the top of that meeting. VOICE: What time does he meet? MYERS: Five o'clock. Five to five-thirty in the Oval Office with the Prime Minister of Holland followed -- and again, the readout will be written. On Wednesday, at this point, the President has no public schedule, although he has a number of briefings with regard to the upcoming trip and other meetings at the White House. On Thursday, as we talked about, he will go to Milwaukee. The Pabst Theater speech is a 11:30 a.m. He will leave and be back here sometime in the late evening. On Friday, he will be briefed -- he will meet with congressional leaders, bipartisan congressional leaders regarding the Europe trip in the morning. And as of right now, that is the only public schedule, public event on the schedule. Saturday, he will give his radio address live at 10:06 a.m. and then leave that night at roughly 11:00 p.m., maybe a little bit before, for Brussels. VOICE: Lubbers is not an official -- I mean, it's not a full-scale -- MYERS: It's not the longer working format. VOICE: You said you'll have a written statement after? MYERS: Yes. So 5:00 p.m. pool spray, 5:00 p.m. to 5:30 p.m. Oval Office meeting; written readout at some point as soon as possible. VOICE: Dee Dee, can I ask a question on Saturday? Are there any other events that you're planning as like a farewell beyond his radio address? MYERS: No. He'll spend the rest of the day probably doing some work here and some final briefings for the trip. But that's it. VOICE: On the "don't ask, don't tell" revision late last month, why did the White House find it necessary to bring the Joint Chiefs over here and ask them not to criticize it publicly? MYERS: That's fiction. And I think General Shalikashvili will issue a statement to that effect later today. VOICE: Well, he wasn't at the meeting. MYERS: You might check, but the Joint Chiefs were -- certainly General Powell who was the Chairman at the time, was very involved in the development of the "don't ask, don't tell, don't pursue" policy. It something that we have consulted closely with them throughout. VOICE: Which part of the story are you saying is fiction? That there was a meeting at all? MYERS: That they were somehow muzzled, which is the implication of the article. VOICE: Was there such a meeting where they came and -- VOICE: What were they asked at the meeting? MYERS: They had been consulted regularly about this, and certainly made aware of progress on the debate. I'm not sure who was at the meeting, so I can certainly take that. VOICE: Were the Joint Chiefs here on that day for a meeting on that topic? MYERS: I'm not sure who all was here on that day for a meeting. There were a number of meetings. I'll have to check specifically who was here. But again, a number of them have been here periodically, have certainly been consulted on this process throughout, have worked closely with the White House both in the drafting and in the drafting of the regulations about it. VOICE: So are you saying that there was a meeting; it was for the White House to inform them of the announcement after it was made and to brief them in advance, not to tell them please don't go out and attack this -- MYERS: Correct. I mean, it was something that they had worked with us on throughout. VOICE: Well, why did they have to be told about a policy that Aspin was going to announce? MYERS: I think they were -- VOICE: Don't they kind of work for Aspin in a way over there? MYERS: I think they work for the President ultimately. And I think that since the White House was working closely with DOD, that it was certainly part of the process to let them know. And again, I didn't check -- I need to check to see exactly who may have been at the meeting. But the point is that they were involved throughout the process, that they were informed about the process and the progress as it went along, and that they were certainly never muzzled. VOICE: If your going to inform them in advance of the think, aren't you going to ask them to wait before they comment until after the Secretary speaks? Aren't you at least going to muzzle them to that degree? MYERS: As you do with any policy announcement. But that's different, that's not what the allegation is. VOICE: Markey said before he went into this meeting that he would recommend that not just the agencies represented here this afternoon, but CIA and others that may have sponsored radiation testing also ought to be examined to see what went on and that there be full tracking of people who, unbeknownst to themselves, were exposed to this. In addition, he said he wanted the government then to provide medical follow-up tests and compensation where damage was done. Do those recommendations track current White House thinking or do they go beyond what you folks have in mind at this point? MYERS: Well, as you know, Congressman Markey met with people here at the White House today, and I think that the point of the meeting this afternoon is to review the state of play and to decide what steps to take next. I think that we'll wait until this meeting takes place and see what the results are of that meeting. VOICE: Do you expect some policy guidance following the meeting? MYERS: Yes. As I said at the beginning of this, Mark Gearan will give a readout after the meeting. What level -- VOICE: Who's running this meeting? What level is it at and -- MYERS: Phil Lader's running it here for us. Certainly Mack, Phil and John Podesta and Christine Varney have been sort of the point people in the White House as this thing has come together over the last few days. VOICE: Will Mark be able to walk us through the President's specific involvement from beginning to end in this -- exactly when he was notified about it and how -- what the directives have been? MYERS: Sure, we can get that for you by then. VOICE: Will Mark be for camera? MYERS: Probably. The first five minutes probably. VOICE: Can we get a list of the people participating in this meeting? MYERS: Sure. That can be part of Mark's readout. VOICE: Can we get back to North Korea for a second? Reuters is quoting a senior U.S. official as saying that the United States and North Korea are near a deal on Pyong Young's nuclear program that could be wrapped up this week. VOICE: Is that you? MYERS: Exactly. (Laughter.) I said they were making progress. You're -- as always, Wolf, you're ahead of me on that. I'll have to -- VOICE: Is that possible that this week they could wrap up a deal? MYERS: I would be very reluctant to put any kind of deadline on that. I mean, I think we are making good progress, and we'll have an announcement when we have an announcement. Hopefully, soon. VOICE: On these nuclear experiments, do you know whether they are conducted on any non-Americans, outside of Hiroshima and Nagasaki? MYERS: I don't know, and again, that's something that we -- (laughter.) Not that I know of. We'll have more on all of that sometime between 5:00 p.m. and 5:30 p.m when Mark comes back. Thank you. (White House press briefing by DEE DEE MYERS January 17, 1994) MYERS: Before we begin the background briefing on today's event and the empowerment zones, I thought I'd give you an update on the earthquake. President Clinton was informed about the earthquake this morning by Secretary Cisneros, who called him around 8:00 a.m., told him about the situation. The President then called his brother in Los Angeles, Roger Clinton, to make sure that he was okay, which he was, just to get an assessment from him about events that had transpired. He then turned on the television and watched -- flipped around from channel to channel watching developments there. Meanwhile, the White House was informed early this morning as the earthquake was happening. Christine Varney and others, Mack McLarty, were notified, and they began to put the sort of response process in motion. Mack talked with FEMA Director James Lee Witt, who began coordinating federal assistance immediately. And the President then notified people that he wanted to be briefed in more detail at about 11:00 a.m. So he came in about 10:00 a.m., was brought up to date again by Mack McLarty, was briefed in more detail 11:00 a.m., at which time he placed calls to James Lee Witt, who told him he was on his way out there, had already been in touch with people on the ground, both state and local officials. The President then called Mayor Riordan and told him that he was watching the situation closely, that his heart and the hearts of everybody in the country was going out to the people of Southern California and that the White House would work and the federal government would work as closely as they could with state and local officials. The President then spoke to Governor Wilson, and the Governor informed him that a disaster declaration would be coming today. And the President said he would sign that as quickly as he could. We expect that this afternoon, and we hope to have the President sign it this afternoon, and we will provide some kind of a forum for that -- probably 5:00 p.m. or 5:30 p.m. VOICE: What would that specifically put in place? MYERS: It will sort of launch a number of programs. Basically it will provide low-interest loans for the replacement of homes, businesses and personal property. Those are provided by FEMA, SBA and the Economic Development Association, which is part of Commerce. There will be additional cash grants provided by FEMA, longer-term disaster housing, up to 18 months, for people who lose their homes. Clearly, we don't know yet how many people that will affect. That's coordinated by HUD and FEMA. There's other programs, including emergency food stamps, disaster unemployment assistance and crisis counseling, and finally public assistance for rebuilding roads, bridges -- VOICE: What about hospitals and health care? VOICE: What's the damage assessment so far? MYERS: It's too early to say. James Lee Witt and Secretary Cisneros are on their way out there now, as is John Emerson. Mack McLarty asked John Emerson, who's a Deputy Assistant here at the White House, to go to coordinate White House efforts on the ground. Christine Varney, who is the Cabinet Secretary here in the White House is coordinating events here. VOICE: Planning a presidential trip? MYERS: The President asked James Lee to call him and to stay in close touch with him when he arrives out there. He's expected to leave right about now, weather permitting, arriving in Los Angeles around 8:00 p.m. or 8:30 p.m. tonight. If the local officials there, the state and local officials, and James Lee and others believe the President can be useful, we'll certainly take a look at that. VOICE: Maybe this week? MYERS: Again, it will depend on the assessment of things on the ground. I think the President is waiting to hear from them. Secretary Pena is also on his way out there. He was in Birmingham today. He left from there and is expected to arrive in Los Angeles around 6:00 p.m. VOICE: What about Ron Brown, is he coming back to go out there? MYERS: Not expected. There is somebody from Commerce going -- Assistant Secretary of Commerce Larry Parks, who's with the Economic Development Administration. VOICE: Dee Dee, have you been able to reach your family, and can you tell what their experience has been? MYERS: Unfortunately, I have not been able to reach my own family. As you know -- many of you know -- I'm from there. I did hear from friends of the family. My family is fine. The house is not in such good shape, as are a number of people -- VOICE: How close are they to the epicenter, do you -- MYERS: My parents live in *San Canyon, which is quite close to the intersection of the 14 and 5 Freeways where the interchange collapsed. The house has suffered quite a bit of superficial damage, and it's unclear to me whether there's any structural damage, so -- it's a mess. VOICE: But you think your parents are okay. MYERS: My parents are fine, thank you. VOICE: Is this your house or this is the house they live in now? MYERS: It's my parents' house, yes. VOICE: Where you grew up? MYERS: Yes. So, others in the neighborhood I grew up, there's a lot of damage in my hometown. VOICE: Where is the heaviest damage, do you know? MYERS: Unclear. I think the northern San Fernando Valley seems to be hardest hit. And I think it'll take sometime before we know exactly what the damage is, again, which is why the President has sent a team out there. A number of federal agencies are already involved -- the Department of Defense, Transportation, HUD, a number of other agencies. VOICE: What is defense doing? MYERS: Defense provided transportation for the Secretary -- for Secretary Cisneros and other federal officials. They're standing by at a FEMA center is San Francisco. And, as events would have it, there is still a FEMA center open in Southern California due to the fires. And so that site has been staffed up again, and I think is ready to coordinate any assistance. VOICE: What about hospitals and medical care? Is there any federal effort to get emergency medical treatment into the region? MYERS: I think that that will be pending a request from the state and local officials. And I don't think we've received anything on top of the emergency disaster declaration yet. But certainly we stand ready to provide whatever assistance we can. VOICE: Is there any thought of need for troops to patrol or send national guard or anything like that? MYERS: Again, that would have to be requested by the local officials, and there's been no such request yet. VOICE: Can they get in LAX? MYERS: I'm not sure what airport. My latest understanding is that LAX has been partially reopened, the other regional airports are open. VOICE: Dee Dee, does it seem more serious than what President -- you know, got an informed opinion on what was going on when he made his remarks this morning? MYERS: Oh, I think that the initial assessments were that it's quite serious -- 6.6 on the Richter Scale is very serious. And the President's been keeping informed of this, being briefed regularly about it. And, again, I think has directed federal officials to work very closely with state and local officials to provide whatever assistance the federal government can. VOICE: these officials doing? MYERS: The first thing, I think, is to assess the damage. And the second thing is to provide whatever assistance state and local officials request and is possible to put forward. VOICE: How long do you expect them to stay out there? MYERS: As long as it takes. VOICE: How much money do you think will be required initially to get the federal government's response going? MYERS: I don't have any initial assessments yet. I think that will -- Christine says that we expect something, an initial assessment later today. I think it may take sometime before we can have an accurate assessment of the damage. VOICE: But is money available already in terms of not going back to Congress and requiring -- MYERS: Yes. VOICE: additional appropriations? MYERS: Yes, yes. VOICE: How much money is available? MYERS: Unclear. I think that there are a number of different ways that we can assess money or tap money that's already in the system. We've done it for other disasters this year. It's been a busy year for James Lee Witt and the folks over at FEMA between the floods and the fires and now the earthquake. VOICE: Is the unhappy that he was not notified earlier? MYERS: No, I think he was notified within a half an hour of the quake. And certainly, the White House was notified immediately and began to take appropriate action. VOICE: We were told he was notified by Cisneros -- no, that's not true? MYERS: No, he was. VOICE: Eight o'clock in the morning? MYERS: Correct. The earthquake struck around 7:30 Eastern Time. VOICE: Dee Dee, as an earthquake veteran, and you're looking at those pictures, what's your take on what you see? MYERS: Well, I am something of an earthquake veteran, actually. It's hard to tell. It's a little unnerving to see your community suffering another quake like this, and it's been a tough couple of years for Los Angeles generally. I think the President's concerned about that as are all of us. I'm certainly not an expert on earthquakes. But the biggest one I was ever in was, I think, 6.1 in 1971 which did a severe amount of damage. I think that there's great concern about the disruption in transportation due to collapsed freeways, about damage to homes and other building and infrastructure. And we're just going to take a look at it and do whatever we can to help rebuild. VOICE:I remember the President saying that both the floods and the hurricanes have spent accounts down. He's actually borrowed from other accounts. Has there been any consultation with Congress about perhaps an emergency appropriation? MYERS: I'm glad you asked that. Actually, the WHite House has been in touch with all members of the California delegation who are affected by this, including Senators Feinstein and Boxer and then members of Congress Tony Beilenson, Henry Waxman, Howard Berman, Jane Harman, Julian Dixon, Lucille Roybal-Allard, Xavier Becerra. And the President will probably speak directly to some of them later today. VOICE: What about the leadership, Dee Dee -- be necessary to get money moving. MYERS: The President hasn't spoken to anybody yet. We've been, I think, focusing more directly on people who are affected. Certainly, we'll consult with members of Congress as the week goes on. Today is a federal holiday, and a lot of the members, of course, are still out in their districts, so certainly we'll do what we can to marshall the requisite resources. VOICE: Congress is not back until later in the week, do you expect that there might be somewhat of an emergency request ready to go as soon as Congress comes back? MYERS: I think we'll have to take a look at that. Certainly we'll wait until James Lee and others get out there and can give us some kind of an assessment about what might be needed, but I wouldn't rule that out. VOICE: Dee Dee, has the President talked to Governor Wilson? And have you -- have you put any thought into changing the 75-25 ratio between Fed and state assisted -- disaster assistance? MYERS: Yes, the President spoke to Governor Wilson around 11:45 a.m. this morning. The usual ratio is that public assistance is 25 percent state, 75 percent federal -- 25 percent state and local. I don't know whether there have been any thought given to changing that yet or not. Certainly we'll have to wait and see how things progress. VOICE: Do you think the President might do one of these satellite TV addresses to the people in Southern California? MYERS: We haven't had a chance to discuss that yet. I think at this point we want to get a better view of what's happening on the ground. Again, I think the President wants to hear from James Lee Witt and others out there and assess the situation; then, again, he will be signing the disaster declaration. As soon as we have a specific time for that we'll let you know. Again, probably 5:00 p.m. or 5:30 p.m. VOICE: What does that require -- knowing how much damage there is? MYERS: No, it just requires that the state has to request it. The actual request goes from the state to FEMA to the White House, and the documents, as we understand it, are en route. VOICE: You said the President hasn't spoken to any other members of Congress directly. Has he spoken to anybody else, like the Mayor or anybody else directly besides Governor Wilson? MYERS: Yes, Mayor Riordan, Governor Wilson both this morning -- 11:00 a.m. -- he spoke to Mayor Riordan first at around 11:35 a.m., Governor Wilson around 11:45 a.m. VOICE: Did the President place those phone calls, or did they call him? MYERS: No, no, the President placed those calls. VOICE: Are there any plans for the President to go out there at all? MYERS: Again, we'll wait -- he's asked James Lee Witt to call him after assessing the damage and talking with state and local officials and to tell him whether or not that would be useful. If there's some useful role for the President, then certainly we will take a serious look at that. VOICE: What do you mean they're en route? Are they coming from California? MYERS: No, they're on route from here to Los Angeles. And they were supposed to leave at around 3:30 p.m., I think, weather permitting. VOICE: Is the President still having his physical tomorrow. MYERS: Yes. VOICE: And what time does that take place? MYERS: I think it's -- he leaves at 7:45 a.m. by helicopter, flies to Bethesda, and we expect it to take several hours. I don't know yet exactly what forum we'll report on it. VOICE: Well, I hope we'll have a thorough report. VOICE: Roger Clinton -- MYERS: He just gave him an assessment of where he was. I think Roger said he was sleeping, and just told the President what it was like going through that earthquake. The President obviously just wanted to make sure that his brother was okay. VOICE: He doesn't live out there, does he -- MYERS: He does. VOICE: Does he have a house or -- MYERS: I believe he lives in an apartment, but I'm not sure. VOICE: damage -- VOICE: didn't fall down -- MYERS: I don't know. It did not fall down, that I know of. VOICE: Can you tell us anymore about the week ahead? MYERS: No, actually. I'll be happy to put that out later today. So I think we'll go to the background briefing now on earlier events. Do we need a few-minute filing break? VOICE: Yes. MYERS: Okay, why don't we take a few minutes and then we'll come back. VOICES: Thank you. (White House press briefing by DEE DEE MYERS, January 25, 1994) VOICE: That little bit of over $4 billion or $5 billion, a little bit -- $2 billion is nothing to sneeze over. MYERS: No, the supplemental is $6.6 billion. And then if you add the $900 million that we've already spent in contingencies is $7.5 billion. But I said simply that it would be above -- VOICE: You said a little bit. MYERS: Well, a billion here -- (laughter) -- okay, I thought that just there may be some passing interest in tonight's speech, so I would go through a little bit what you guys can expect just in terms of where he is in the process. The President met briefly with aides yesterday and then took the draft home with him to the Residence last night where he worked on it. He brought it back this morning. Those changes were worked into the existing draft. The President got back together with the speech team about 10:30 a.m. this morning, and as of the time we walked in here, he was still working on it with them. I think he'll take a break midday, and then resume working on it this afternoon. VOICE: What were the change? What were the areas? MYERS: I think he's just working through some of the lines. What were the areas of changes? I think that there have been a number of changes, and the draft has gone through a number of revisions. Let me just give you a little bit on the substance about what you can expect. In tone, I think you can expect characteristically optimistic. I think the President will proclaim that the State of the Union is basically sound -- surprise. He'll begin by saying that, together with the American people and with the Congress that we made good progress last year, it was an impressive beginning, but that much remains to be done, that not everybody has benefited from the effects of the progress, and that we need to continue to work hard to continue to make progress in the coming year. I think he'll specifically point out some of the accomplishments, from reducing the budget deficit, cutting taxes for millions of low-income Americans, passing NAFTA, making college more affordable for all Americans, passing the Brady Bill, a number of other things that you've heard before. In order to make sure that the impact of the changes are felt by everybody as this proceeds, he'll outline a plan of action to create more and better jobs in the coming year, guarantee health security for all, reward work, promote democracy abroad, and begin to take on the issues of crime and violence, or continue to take them on, actually. The President's first priority in this plan of action is continued economic renewal, which means reducing the deficit by making additional budget cuts, changing some of our spending priorities, cutting the size of government. He'll also talk about the importance of opening foreign markets to American products and services through initiatives like NAFTA and the GATT. I think the President will also say that we need to continue to prepare our people through education and training, to seize opportunities that are presenting themselves in the changing world. This includes tougher standards for our schools, essentially Goals 2000, a national apprenticeship program and a system of reemployment rather than unemployment to deal with changing circumstances. The President, as you have heard many times, also believes that we need to change welfare as we know it, and he'll talk about that. He'll also say that we need to work on -- we can't have comprehensive welfare reform without health care reform, and that we need to do both, and to do both this year. He'll emphasize that there is, in fact, he believes a health care crisis in this country, and he'll talk at some length about his plan for addressing that, including and particularly emphasizing that what his solution provides is guaranteed private insurance for every American and a comprehensive package of benefits that can never be taken away. He'll talk about foreign policy, of course, pointing out that if we're going to renew America at home, we must also renew our leadership abroad, and that in the wake of the Cold War we have a unique opportunity to include both our security and the security of other countries. He'll say that we'll continue to fight the proliferation of weapons of mass destruction, expand market democracies around the world, and maintain the best fighting force on earth. I think he'll emphasize that we'll continue to support reform in Russia and work to bring the emerging democracies in Europe into the NATO framework through expanding economic opportunity and other things. I think he'll talk about crime. I think he'll emphasize his support for a crime bill this year that includes 100,000 more officers on the streets, more prisons for violent offenders, boot camps for first-time offenders, and a ban on assault weapons. I think, finally, he will talk a little bit about values, about the need for us to take responsibility for our families, our communities and our country. Overall, I think it's a good speech, it'll probably run between 45 and 50 minutes. It could go somewhat longer. The word count as of this morning was somewhere between 5,000 and 6,000 words. Again, there are a number of line edits taking place, so we won't have a final count or a final text, I'm afraid until shortly before air time. VOICE: Will he be specific about budget cuts? You said - that he would talk about the need for more budget cuts. Does he have a figure and is it -- MYERS: He'll have some figures which I'll leave for the speech. I wouldn't look for specific -- too much detail. I mean, again, this is more a thematic speech. But I think he'll touch on some of the goals and the achievements in the coming budget. VOICE: This is the President that fought tooth and nail against Penny-Kasich, and now he's saying that he wants more budget cuts? Doesn't he have an obligation to tell people how many? MYERS: Of course, and we'll do that through the budget process. The budget, as you know, is due at the beginning of next month, and we'll certainly have a lot more to say about that as the process goes forward. But I think he will talk a little bit about both the amount of cuts that we achieved last year, which I believe was $255 billion -- VOICE: Yes, questions. LEAVY: Yes, we'll do that. We'll turn them back on. MYERS: Okay, lights back on. VOICE: Is this plan of action a new jobs -- new series of jobs programs? Will this be new money, or just -- MYERS: No, no. It's an overall comprehensive plan that includes all the initiatives that I just talked through. I think basically the President is striving for economic renewal, both at home, renewed leadership abroad and I think a whole series of initiatives that will achieve that objective. VOICE: Does he plan to answer, specifically, some of his critics, and could you tell us if he plans to refer to his own troubles with Whitewater at all or any of the things -- MYERS: No, this is not an address to his critics. It's a report to the American people on the progress that he's made in the previous year. They elected him, and I think this is an opportunity for the President to stand before them and tell them what progress we've made and where we're going in the coming year. VOICE: And the Whitewater question? MYERS: -- don't expect that to be addressed, no. VOICE: As the economy picks up steam, it's just a natural phenomena that there are increased wage and price pressures. Will Clinton, in this address continue to closely link his economic strategy with a low interest rate environment, and will Greenspan be sitting next to Hillary this time? MYERS: Don't have any final info for you on who will be sitting with Mrs. Clinton tonight. Certainly, he will make reference to the fact that as a result of last year's budget plan and economic forces that interest rates remain at almost record lows, and he'll talk a little bit about some of the other economic factors, from increased home purchases to things like that, that have resulted from both, I think -- well, we take some credit for the economic plan and the disciplined deficit reduction that have had a positive impact on the market, so -- VOICE: But is the tie between -- I mean, last year he really tied himself -- I mean, the whole progress was tied to the fact that we had lower than expected interest rates, and so I mean, are we -- MYERS: He makes a reference to that. I think that the disciplined deficit reduction program and the budget that was introduced last year with the tight spending caps which we're living under this year have had an impact on the economy. And I think that the business community and most economists give the President some credit for that. So, yes, he'll mention that in his speech as part of the overall economic health of the country and part of the continued -- part of the reason that we're going to continue on the path that we started on last year. VOICE: On the foreign policy side, is he going to discuss any more about Bosnia and his feelings about intervention? MYERS: No, this isn't an opportunity to expound on that. VOICE: On crime, will he back the policy -- three felonies and life? MYERS: There's been a lot reported on that. I think it's best for me to leave that to the President tonight. VOICE: On health care -- VOICE: But you're not contradicting what one of your colleagues said on the -- MYERS: I would not contradict a senior policy advisor to the President. VOICE: On health care, does he signal any new direction or emphasis, or any ideas on where he's going to compromise with all of the different other plans that are out there? MYERS: It's more of an opportunity for him to restate the goals and the needs for comprehensive health care reform to underline why he thinks this is so important and how his plan will address the crisis in this country. VOICE: Will he respond to those who say there is no crisis? MYERS: Yes, I think he'll underscore the fact that he believes there is a crisis. VOICE: Dee Dee, can you address the rather dramatic contrast between coming up with $7.5 billion for California in a matter of days and the difficulty the administration's had coming up with more significant assistance to Russia during their transformation process? MYERS: I think, as Director Panetta pointed out, that we have -- VOICE: the electoral votes as well? (Laughter.) MYERS: That this -- (laughter) -- the senior advisor to the President from NBC just answered that question. As Director Panetta pointed out, we do have in this country a tradition of taking care of disasters and supporting different regions of the country when they're struck by disasters, and there is, I think, precedent that allows us to spend that money outside the budget caps in case of a legitimate emergency. VOICE: As Leon pointed out, you're still not ready with your welfare package. Is it a safe assumption that since you have health care, your health care plan is ready, that you're going to push this first and not wait for welfare, that you're not going to push them together, even though you want both of them done this year? MYERS: Well, I think that certainly we are going to move ahead with health care right away in this legislative session. As you know, the President met yesterday with Speaker Foley and Majority Leader Mitchell to begin discussing the best strategy to move forward wit health care reform. He'll meet with other committee chairs and people in Congress as the week and the weeks progress. I think we're in the process of finalizing a welfare reform plan. The President expects to have a comprehensive welfare reform program introduced sometime soon, and we'll push forward with that this year as well. And I think that one of the things the President will say is that you can't achieve welfare reform without health care reform -- that the two are inexorably linked, and that he expects to push forward with both this year. As to the specific sequencing and timing, that's something that we'll work with Congress on. VOICE: Do you have a little bit more precise time estimate as to when you folks may be ready to crank in welfare reform? MYERS: No, not yet. But soon. VOICE: Tell me a little bit more about this plan of action. I didn't quite get it. Is it a new plan of training or what is it? MYERS: No. It is the series of initiatives on the economy from -- on education, on foreign policy, on crime, on health care, on welfare -- that define what it is this President wants to achieve in the country. And that is what he outlines -- VOICE: That's overall -- MYERS: Right, overall. VOICE: These are all previously announced -- MYERS: Yes, these are all -- but together, these are previously announced initiatives or previously announced goals that together constitute a plan of action that I think will explain to the American people where the President wants to take the country. VOICE: Will you get tough on Japan in this speech, given the fact that we've got talks going on across the White House. Will he talk about the possibility of redefining? MYERS: No. I mean, I think he makes the point that it's important to open foreign markets to American services and products, but I wouldn't look for anything more specific than that. VOICE: Who will be responsible for putting the right text in the TelePrompTer? (Laughter.) Which White House official? VOICE: Al Gore. MYERS: As you can image, I think David Dreyer has a particularly parochial interest in that issue. But I think that a new system has been worked out and we're hopeful. We have our fingers crossed. VOICE: What is the new system? MYERS: It's fairly technical and I'm not sure I understand all of it, but it used to be that you could store things in the memories of the TelePrompTer. And one of the things that was stored in the memory of the TelePrompTer in September was the February 17th speech, and they were using it to check the screens to make sure that it was working. The TelePrompTer has nothing in its memory now so when -- there's only one document -- whatever is on the disk that is given to the TelePrompTer operator is the only thing that will ever be able to appear on the screen. VOICE: Does anybody see any irony in the idea of a speech that is 5,000 to 6,000 words and expected to run 45 to 50 minutes and is going to be largely thematic? MYERS: Well, it's -- VOICE: It's characteristically optimistic. MYERS: It is characteristically optimistic and we'll have some themes running -- it is, what I guess I mean by that is that don't look for a 10-point plan, don't look for an announcement of a comprehensive welfare reform package, but I think -- VOICE: Because there isn't time, no doubt. MYERS: There isn't time. (Laughter.) We couldn't get to everything. VOICE: Is he going to rehearse in the theatre? MYERS: Yes, he'll spend some time, I think, working through it. But I think his speech will be quite specific, and again it will include this plan of action which outlines a number of initiatives that he will move forward on this year. I think it will be a good speech, but I think you're going to really enjoy it. VOICE: The theme of his values speech in Memphis was that government can't do it alone. Are you going to have all these programs drawn out and then say that same message, that government can't do it all? MYERS: I think the President will talk some about what government can do and then certainly make the point that government can't do it all. That if we're going to restore our families and bring our communities back together, people have to take responsibility. And that is something that he will touch on. VOICE: Are there people anecdotes in the speech or in the galleries? MYERS: As of -- there were one or two in the last draft and I suspect that those will stay, so there will be one or two. VOICE: Anecdotes? VOICE: Can you tell us where they're from? VOICE: With people present? MYERS: Yes. I don't know whether the people will be present. I don't think so. VOICE: Will you be able to tell us later this afternoon? VOICE: You said he would not mention Bosnia or Japan? Any foreign country he mentions in the speech, maybe Russia? MYERS: Yes, he'll mention Russia and some other countries. It's just not an opportunity for him to redefine the policy on Bosnia. VOICE: What's the ratio of foreign to domestic in the length of the speech? MYERS: I didn't count the pages. VOICE: I know, but what would you estimate? MYERS: There's a fairly sizable passage on foreign policy and then it's also included in some of the other -- VOICE: Is it 25 percent foreign? MYERS: Probably. Maybe not quick the -- VOICE: Isn't it an attempt to report -- on his trip? MYERS: I didn't count the pages. It might not be quite that much, but there is a sizable -- VOICE: What was -- MYERS: I hate to get into characterizing it because there are references to opening markets and it passes on the economy and that's, as you know, a primary objective of our foreign policy. And then there's a passage in the speech which, who knows what it's going to look like in six hours from now, but primarily dedicated to foreign policy that's quite lengthy. VOICE: And is that in the nature of a report on his trip? MYERS: He touches on that about NATO and about what the objectives were of that trip. But he also talks about what it is that U.S. foreign policy is sort of seeking to achieve. VOICE: Middle East? MYERS: Yes, a little bit. VOICE: And in the context of Russia, does he deal with the setbacks to reform in recent days? MYERS: I think he'll reemphasize -- again, we're talking about the text here, and so there's plenty of opportunity for expansion upon the 5,000-6,000 word text. But he'll talk little bit about a little bit about our continued support for economic reform. But I don't think he'll get too -- again, this is not an opportunity to give a speech on Russia, specifically. VOICE: Dee Dee, would preview Thursday for us? MYERS: Sure. Thursday the only -- VOICE: What about Wednesday? MYERS: Oh, yeah, let's do Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. Tomorrow he's going to go to Kramer Junior High School, 17th and Q, Southeast. It's an inner city junior high school that has been adopted by the Secret Service, the Presidential protection detail here at the White House as a gift to the President and First Lady for Christmas. They decided to give community service in the form of adopting this school. And so the agents are -- VOICE: What are they going to do, guard it? MYERS: No. (Laughter.) But they'll be working with the students and I think giving presentations in class and perhaps field trips and other things to help those kids see an alternative career. VOICE: You guys are so -- MYERS: You are. It's shameful. VOICE: This was a gift to the Clintons? MYERS: Correct. That they would adopt this school as opposed to giving them an, I don't know, an attache case or something. VOICE: like voting. MYERS: Yes, exactly. (Laughter.) VOICE: What time is that? MYERS: That's at 12:30 p.m. and it will be open press. VOICE: Is he going to discuss the state of the union with them? MYERS: I think he will re-emphasize some of the themes of the State of the Union, about where the country is going and why these junior high school students -- seventh, eighth and ninth graders -- should care. That's the only open event, he'll have other private meetings and such tomorrow. On Thursday at 10:30 a.m., he will go to an event at the GM plant in Baltimore; that is also open press. He'll helicopter up and then helicopter back. VOICE: Afternoon or morning? MYERS: That's 10:30 a.m. in the morning. He wanted to make sure he got back in time for his weekly lunch with the Vice President. Wouldn't want to miss that. Then he'll have some briefings and meetings in the office. At 7:00 p.m. he'll depart by helicopter for Piney Point for the House retreat. VOICE: What time? MYERS: He leaves here at 7:00 p.m. and he returns at -- he's scheduled to return at 10:00 p.m. VOICE: What's the GM plant subject? MYERS: The GM plant subject will be economic. I think it will focus on a lot of the economic themes, both worker training, lifetime learning, state of the economy, etc. VOICE: What are the travel plans for both elements of that day? MYERS: It's pool and I'm not sure -- Dave, do you guys know? They'll be bused up? SELDIN: We'll have a bus to Baltimore, and Piney Point will be just the pool. MYERS: Is that -- are they going to be bused up? SELDIN: No, they'll be helicoptered up. MYERS: Okay. VOICE: And the bus to Baltimore -- MYERS: No, it's closed. Piney Point -- there will be buses to take the press to the GM plant event, which is open. So anybody who wants to will be able to take the bus to Baltimore. And the Piney Point event is pooled, so we will chopper the pool up with the President; but there is no coverage of that at all -- it's protective only. VOICE: What time do we depart for Baltimore? MYERS: The press will depart probably around 8:00 a.m., because it's like an hour drive. VOICE: Hey, let's start early. MGM -- (laughter.) MYERS: Right, it is the MGM bus service with no toilets and no heat. Okay, finally, Friday at 2:00 p.m. he will meet with the mayors who are here for the National Conference of Mayors meeting. That is in the East Room; it is at 3:00 p.m. It's expanded pool -- I mean 2:00 p.m. to 3:00 p.m., I'm sorry. And that's the only, again, the only open event for Friday. Saturday he will do the radio address live and he's down for the rest of the day -- may go out that evening. Sunday he's down all day and then in the evening he has the closed National Governors Association dinner here. VOICE: What about the Super Bowl? Will he be watching it? MYERS: They did watch the Super Bowl partly last year. We had Governor Richards -- the same teams last year -- and Governor Cuomo. So -- VOICE: Isn't the President -- he's a big Dallas fan. MYERS: He has been a Dallas fan for a number of years. VOICE: Super Bowl -- MYERS: I ain't getting into that one. VOICE: Is he going to be -- MYERS: It's true, it's the Arkansas connection. VOICE: Dee Dee is he going to be interviewed during halftime or anything like that? MYERS: CNN Live, I believe. Just kidding. No. (Laughter.) VOICE: Is the dinner open for coverage? MYERS: I don't -- let me see if it's on here. I don't think so. I think that's -- VOICE: It is. VOICE: I want to know if he's doing an interview. MYERS: Yeah, he's doing a post-roundtable. Press unclear on the dinner. I think we did a photo of some part of it last year. VOICE: What about watching the Super Bowl? MYERS: We did a photo of that last year, as well. I don't know if we let you guys in, or at least the White House photo let you in? VOICE: Dee Dee, back to the speech, is he going to mention specifically APEC or hemispheric free trade or any of those newer initiatives? MYERS: Probably, but very briefly. VOICE: There will be a text a few minutes before? MYERS: That's our -- that's generally how it operates. As he's standing, walking to the podium, we're frantically handing out almost-final versions. VOICE: Oh, that close. MYERS: Yeah, I think if we can do it, we'd love to. And I think the speech was in pretty good form this morning, but it's -- yeah, it's a crapshoot. VOICES: Thank you. (White House press briefing by DEE DEE MYERS, January 28, 1994) MYERS: We have no announcements today, so if you all have any questions. Do you want me to go through the schedule? VOICE: Can we do that at the end? MYERS: Okay, Wolf, for you. VOICE: The first five minutes are on camera -- VOICE: How much division is there within the White House over which issues to -- the President should be promoting at this time -- health care versus welfare reform, versus crime? How much of a split is there? MYERS: I don't think there's any division. I think the President outlined his agenda for the coming year and beyond at the State of the Union. I think we'll build on that throughout the year. Clearly, health care is the centerpiece of our domestic agenda. That is something that we've met with congressional leaders with this week. We'll be doing more meetings and, certainly, the President will be talking about it. Today, he's meeting with the U.S. Conference of Mayors to talk about crime. Monday he'll be meeting with the National Governors Association to talk about crime. Certainly the welfare reform proposal is being finalized by the Domestic Policy Council here. So I think we'll move forward on a number of fronts, including the worker training program, which Secretary Reich spoke about yesterday. So I think there is a commitment here to move forward on a number of fronts. I think those policies all work together in terms of strengthening the economy and furthering the President's agenda. VOICE: How's his voice? Is he speaking now? Is he audible? MYERS: His voice is pretty good today. He's speaking; he's audible. He's gone up to Piney Point to address the Democratic members of Congress there -- House members. And he's feeling pretty good. VOICE: There's a lot of complaints in the House that the President isn't showing enough leadership. The House bill is in a lot of different pieces on crime, and it looks like it might not get passed until maybe even March, even though the President talks about it as if it is a done deal. What is he doing to try to get this thing through? MYERS: Well, I think certainly the first thing he's done is made it a centerpiece of his agenda. He talked about it eloquently and movingly in the State of the Union address. Again, he's meeting with the mayors today about it and the governors tomorrow about it. I think he's outlined the major principles that he'd like to see in the crime bill -- VOICE: But mayors don't have a vote in Congress. MYERS: No, but I think certainly this is something that the American people are concerned about. And I think that sentiment is going to work its way up, and I think members of Congress are going to respond to mayors in their district, to constituents in their district, to people who have genuine fears about crime and want to see this government take more action. So the President -- the first thing he's going to do is what he's been doing, which is to speak out on it, to begin a dialogue and to create a consensus for more action. I think he's done that very effectively and will continue to do that. The second thing he is going to do is work with members of Congress. Again, he's outlined the things he'd like to see contained in the bill. He's made it clear he'd like to see a crime bill passed by both Houses and brought to his desk soon, early this year, and will continue to do all we can to move the process forward. VOICE: So you have two centerpieces. MYERS: Well, no, I think health care is the centerpiece of the President's domestic agenda, but crime is something that is -- I think affects almost every other issue. It certainly affects health care. It affects welfare reform. It affects the state of the economy. It is both a legislative issue and an issue of the country's spirit as the President said. It's an issue of whether we come together as a community and how we do that. And the President will be addressing -- VOICE: Can he push both of them at the same time? MYERS: Sure. And, as the President said, he'd like to see welfare reform introduced this year and passed. VOICE: Have you lost any momentum by virtue of him being down for two days? MYERS: I don't think so. Certainly, he would have done a number of events and talked about these issues had his voice been healthy. But I think he'll be back at it starting today. I think there's been a lot of discussion about it on the Hill. The Vice President went to the high school yesterday where gunshots were fired the day before. I think there's been a lot of discussion by members of the administration about both crime and health care over the last few days and welfare reform. And I think you can expect to see that the administration will be firing on all cylinders. It will be the President, backed up by the entire administration. VOICE: How moved are you, were you, by the Senate resolution on normalizing relations with Vietnam? MYERS: Well, we certainly welcome their expression on that. I think the President's made clear what his criteria is. We need to be assured that the Vietnamese are doing all they can on POW-MIA issues. We're continuing to review it. I don't have any decision on that yet. VOICE: Even if you do have a decision that -- to go forward and to normalize relations, would Clinton consider going there, or would he definitely go there or what's the possibility? MYERS: I think it's too soon to say. I think we're still reviewing the facts as to POW and MIA progress. VOICE: How much time do you think is needed at this point? MYERS: I don't think we have a timeline on it. I think there have been a number of good trips there recently. There's certainly been some progress on the issues the President laid out that are of particular concern to him -- discrepancy cases, remains, documents, cooperation with Laos. But we just don't have a timeline for a decision. VOICE: Is this being discussed, that the President might go to Vietnam? MYERS: Not that I know of. It's just too soon to even discuss it. VOICE: What do you need to finish the review? This has been going on for -- MYERS: Well, I just think we need as much information as we can to be certain that the Vietnamese are doing all they can. VOICE: Is there something specific we've asked for to get that we haven't gotten? MYERS: No, I think it's just progress on those four specific aspects that the President laid out. VOICE: How about Gerry Adams? MYERS: Gerry Adams met with our counsel general in Belfast today to discuss his views of violence and of the joint partnership agreement reached between the British and the Irish. We will review his responses on those questions and make a decision in light of that. VOICE: Have you required him just to make certain statements against violence as a precondition of getting a visa? MYERS: No, but we've said his views on those two subjects are important in our decision-making. So once we've -- I don't know that we've gotten a report back yet today. VOICE: Well, you have to make a decision pretty soon, don't you, because he's coming. MYERS: Yes, the conference is Tuesday. VOICE: Dee Dee, in Japan there's been a compromise saving the Hosokawa coalition. What will the effect be on the framework talks that are ongoing and also on the February 11th meeting? MYERS: I think it's too soon to say what effect it will have. I think on the framework talks we are going to move forward or try to move forward under any circumstances. But we'll certainly be watching developments in Japan closely over the next 36 or so hours and see what happens after that. VOICE: Dee Dee, to what extent -- slipping human rights considerations into the decision of the President to -- towards Hanoi because, as far as I know it is still a communist regime. MYERS: Right. Certainly, we're concerned about human rights in Vietnam, and we're -- we have an ongoing dialogue with the Vietnamese about human rights issues. But the trade embargo is linked specifically to progress on MIA and POW issues. But that doesn't mean we won't continue to try to make progress on human rights issues as well. VOICE: Dee Dee, what's the story on the Interior Department, and are you in fact transferring a key official out of the area where he would make decisions on grazing fees and environmental matters? MYERS: No, I think quite the contrary. Mr. Baca has been, it's something that's being worked on within the Interior Department, and I'd refer you there for more details. But he's been offered, essentially, a post that would oversee a number of other -- including the Bureau of Land Management, but a number of divisions within the department I think with an eye toward better coordination on mining and grazing policies. VOICE: So you're denying that he's being eased out of the environmental aspect? MYERS: Correct. The job that he's been offered actually would oversee a number of departments and seek better coordination on those issues. VOICE: But he doesn't seem to see it that way. MYERS: The decision is his. I don't think he's reached a decision yet. But again, that job has been offered to him. VOICE: How do you assess the position of the Prime Minister Hosokawa's -- for example, are they weaker stronger than before? Do you have any assessment? MYERS: No. At this point, again, we are watching the developments there with great interest, and we'll see what happens before the Diet recesses on Saturday night. VOICE: What is the latest administration opinion on Bosnia, and what's your assessment of where it is right now? MYERS: Essentially there has been no change in our position. I think the, at the NATO summit we requested -- the communique requested that the U.N. review the situation with respect to possible steps that could be taken to open the airport at Tuzla and to secure troop rotation at Srebrenica. That report has been completed now and has been forwarded, and I think that's under review. Other than that, I don't think there's been much change in the situation. Let me look ahead and give you guys the week. I actually have quite a few details, if I can find them. Saturday the only -- again there's been no change in that. The President will give the radio address live and then the rest of the day is down. Actually, he'll go out tomorrow night probably -- personal, but it'll be travel pool only. And then on Sunday he'll watch the football game with a group of governors who were here for the NGA dinner. I don't know who they all are. I think Governor Miller of Nevada is one of them and there will be several others. And then they'll do the dinner at the White House, which I think you guys have gotten the pool assignments on -- or actually what the specific opportunities are. On Monday at 9:30 a.m., he'll address the NGA crime -- he'll host a NGA crime and violence discussion here at the White House. Then at noon he'll go to the restaurant Filomena's with Chancellor Kohl. They will discuss -- VOICE: He loves that place, doesn't he -- Kohl. MYERS: He -- I think the both of them -- it must be a sumo wrestling hangout. (Laughter.) VOICE: The portions are up to it. MYERS: Is that right? VOICE: Do you go there a lot, Brit? MYERS: I can't say that I've eaten there, but -- they'll just discuss a number of bilateral and regional issues following up on the NATO meeting -- Partners For Peace, things like that. Then at 8:30 p.m., he'll attend the DGA dinner at the Omni Hotel. On Tuesday -- VOICE: is there any kind of statements or something -- toast? MYERS: No, he's actually here to address the National Governors Association conference, and it was an opportunity for the President and the Chancellor to sit down and follow up on their conversations in Europe last -- a couple of weeks ago. VOICE: So their only conversation will be at Filomena's and there will be nothing here? MYERS: Correct. VOICE: Who suggested Filomena's? MYERS: I think they both like the restaurant and decided that it would be fun to have lunch off campus. So there they go. I don't know that there will be any formal statements. There will probably be some kind of a pool spray. VOICE: A spray on the street? VOICE: Does he have any desire to discuss with Kohl, since -- MYERS: I don't know. VOICE: since Kohl is saying over there, the apparently deteriorating situation with Russia? I mean, is there any sense not of urgency, but of desire to have a conversation with someone about that? MYERS: Oh, I think a number of things are likely to come up. I think it's entirely possible that they'll discuss Russia. VOICE: Is the President having any additional or longer consultations on that issue these days? MYERS: Certainly. I think his advisors -- he's had conversations with his advisors and I think he plans some longer discussions in the coming days. VOICE: With whom, and when? MYERS: Well, the schedule's been in flux a little bit because of his -- because we had to cancel a number of events. But I think within the coming week certainly he'll have longer discussions with a number of his key foreign policy advisors. VOICE: Has he called any meetings at the White House among senior advisors from the various agencies to discuss these problems? MYERS: None have been scheduled yet, but I think it's in the process. We're working it out. VOICE: Any reaction to Stanislov Shushkevich's fall from power? MYERS: Well, I think he was a reformer and was committed to both economic reform and denuclearization. I think that the Belarussians had some comments about that yesterday; that they remain committed. The foreign minister said they remain committed to denuclearization and to economic reform and we certainly are interested in seeing them pursue those courses. VOICE: Isn't he a little disappointed that after having given him what was obviously intended as a bit of a political boost by making the stop there that the guy is then ceremonious ousted soon after Mr. Clinton leaves? Does that trouble anybody around here? MYERS: We -- again, we -- I think the President had a good relationship with him. He met with both Shushkevich and Kebich while he was there, and we would have liked -- want to see the reforms continue. VOICE: Any more on the new guy, Mr. Grib? MYERS: I don't have anything for you on that. VOICE: Kebich indicated today also that there would be a major house-cleaning. In the discussions that they had in Minsk, was there any hint that this was about to come down? MYERS: Well, certainly we knew that the vote was coming up and that this was a possibility. I think, certainly, Shushkevich understood that he was going to have to stand up and face a vote of the Supreme Soviet. VOICE: But did Kebich give President Clinton any kind of indication, any kind of assurances as to what a Kevich-backed government would look like? MYERS: I don't know. I can take that question. I don't know whether they discussed specifically what might happen if Shushkevich was ousted. But certainly we're very interested in seeing the denuclearization program go forward. I think the Belarussians have -- there seems to be a national consensus for that. And we're hopeful that that will move forward. And, again, the Foreign Minister commented on it yesterday saying that they remain committed to reform. We'll have to see what happens. VOICE: Does the U.S. believe Russia and Belarus are really going to continue on reform when the hard-liners, the communists, are back in power? MYERS: We're going to do what we can to move them in that direction. Certainly we don't have any guarantees of anything. But it's in our interest to see certainly Russia and the other former republics of the Soviet Union -- VOICE: But do we have any leverage to keep them on the move -- MYERS: Well, we have financial incentives, which we've been trying to use both in Russia and in other countries. I mean, for example, the denuclearlization agreement includes $12 billion in funds that will be distributed to the former nuclear republics and Russia -- I mean, the former republics who were nuclear and Russia. And that is a tremendous financial incentive for countries like Belarus and Ukraine. There are other financial incentives that we're working on -- everything from Nunn-Lugar money to private investment that will be contingent on their progress toward reform. It is certainly in our interest, and we'll do what we can to try to move the progress forward. We have no guarantees, but that -- I think our policy is going to continue to do everything we can and move them in that direction. VOICE: But you grant that it is becoming much more conservative and going back to a much more dogmatic political -- MYERS: Yes, I think the -- I don't think anybody ever thought that the Belarussian government was one that was full of reformers. It's always been a difficult situation. Shushkevich was committed to reform, he was not a communist. We supported him. He's no longer there. We'll work with the Kebich government and try to move them in the direction of reform as well. This is not -- this is a long-term policy for the United States. It's something that we're going to be working on for the decade -- next several decades as these countries try to transition their economies. VOICE: But you won't be able to give money to those countries if they persist in this direction. MYERS: Well, certainly aid is going to be tied to progress on reform. I mean, I think we've made that clear. Both our bilateral assistance and certainly the multilateral assistance. VOICE: But things are falling apart pretty fast since the President left Moscow. Now, to what extent is the President concerned about it? Is there a time to redefine -- politics? MYERS: We remain concerned about it. We'll continue to follow events there. I'm not sure I would -- I'm not sure it's falling apart, but I think we remain concerned about events and I really don't have anything more to add to what we've said over the course of the last week. VOICE: Is the President -- MYERS: Tuesday, let's go back. (Laughter.) Thank you. Tuesday -- VOICE: If it's Tuesday it must be Bosnia. MYERS: No, this is Russia week. Ten o'clock a.m., he speaks to the American Hospital Association. Then at 11:30 a.m., he speaks -- VOICE: Here at the White House? MYERS: No, these are -- I'm not sure what that is -- it's off -- both these events are off-campus. At 11:30 a.m. he speaks to the National Governors Association -- I believe that's at the Omni, and the subject of that is welfare and health care. VOICE: Will he go from one place to the other? MYERS: Probably. Then Wednesday -- that's it for public events on Tuesday. On Wednesday, he'll have a meeting with the joint congressional leaders in the morning. Then he will -- VOICE: When you say "joint congressional," what does that mean? MYERS: Members of both Houses. VOICE: Does it mean bipartisan, or does it mean just -- VOICE: What time is it? MYERS: I think it's bipartisan, yes. As opposed to -- it's at 10:00. I think it's bipartisan, but it could be committee chairs. So I'll have to double-check that. Which will be from both houses -- the House and Senate, but not necessarily bipartisan. At 1:30 p.m. he's speaking at a Reich conference, called "What's Working." It's a jobs conference that Secretary Reich is hosting. And I'm sure he'll talk there about worker training. VOICE: Where is that? MYERS: I don't have a location. That's something that's hosted by Secretary Reich. Thursday, he starts the day with a prayer breakfast. Mother Teresa will attend that. VOICE: Where? MYERS: It's here at the White House. But I believe -- these are generally closed. But he does this periodically. VOICE: Are you sure it's here? MYERS: No, I'm not positive, no. VOICE: No, it's at a hotel, always. National Prayers -- (laughter.) MYERS: Are you guys making jokes about Mother Teresa back there? VOICE: She's coming to the stakeout. (Laughter.) VOICE: She's come to the stakeout before. MYERS: Has she? VOICE: That's right, she has. MYERS: Helen points out that the National Prayer Breakfast is not here, that it might be someplace else. VOICE: It's usually at a hotel. MYERS: I don't have a site, so -- that's 7:30 a.m. on Thursday morning. At 10:30 a.m. he'll go to Kramer Junior High School to make up for the event that he missed. Friday, as of right now there are no public events. Saturday he'll do the radio address live. Sunday he'll be in Houston for a DNC event. We will overnight in Houston. Events on Monday and beyond are still under discussion. So I have no -- but we'll definitely overnight in Houston and possibly go someplace else in the Southeast -- VOICE: Is he going to Arkansas on the way to Houston? MYERS: It's possible. But I don't know yet. VOICE: That would be on Sunday? MYERS: No, it might be before that. Could be. VOICE: Saturday? MYERS: But I think, just for planning purposes only, no final decisions have been made on that. VOICE: He might leave Saturday, stay overnight in Arkansas Saturday? MYERS: That's possible. VOICE: And we would all go with him? MYERS: No, that would probably just be the family pool for the Arkansas portion. VOICE: Is there a basketball game or something? MYERS: No, he just wants to -- might spend some time with his family there. VOICE: Have you all made any sort of logistical arrangements yet for that Monday and the budget briefings? VOICE: Yes, we'll be on the road when the budget -- MYERS: Right. VOICE: Budget Monday? MYERS: February 7th. VOICE: So he'll be on the road when the budget comes out? MYERS: That is the plan, yes. VOICE: What a relief VOICE: I mean, you guys really want to come to that? (Laughter.) MYERS: When we have -- I'm sure we can provide you administration officials galore to talk about the budget, but probably not on the road, so we'll be doing health care and other things like that out there. VOICE: You'll be doing health care while the budget's being done here? MYERS: Yes. VOICE: Will he give a budget-related speech on the day that the budget comes out? MYERS: I don't think so. I mean, it'll be -- yes, in the respect that we might talk about some of the things -- break out pieces that are in the budget, but not do something that is an overview of the budget. That will probably be done separately. VOICE: Would you figure that your main briefing was going to be here, or elsewhere? MYERS: I would think it would be here. I mean, we won't try to do that on the road. We'll get more -- VOICE: I mean, elsewhere around town. MYERS: Don't know. I think we may probably do a couple of different things. We'll have a better schedule on that next week. VOICE: When is the civil rights announcement? MYERS: It will not happen today or over the weekend. It could come as early as sometime next week. I don't think it'll happen in the first half of the week. Not the first couple of weeks. VOICES: Thank you. site counter